#on one hand: it kinda fits the moment. otoh: it would be VERY funny to have this still hanging over their heads post-canon

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

a thing about me: i love to design soulmate aus that are the most inconvenient for the focal characters

(because the premise essentially demands that they get some kind of destined, happily-ever-after love at the end of the story, i like to treat myself to a little (or a lot) of emotional torment first!)

anyway, i just realized that the funniest possible soulmate situation for labru is one of those "the first words they say to you" tattoo AUs, because

laios does not notice, lol

kabru overthinks whether/how to tell him because being soulmates complicates the narrative he's been building around conquering the dungeon

[severalbakuras]

guess who watched a little more voltron. apologies to mobile users if readmores don’t work. spoilers for episodes 5-8 of voltron. (as always please don’t send me spoilers for later on. even if i’m wrong)(oh and mild night in the woods+utena spoilers, i guess)

episode 5: they’re all such dipshit brats goddamn. hunk is #relatable but ngl keith swooping in like that felt a lil ooc unless he’s still feeling annoyed at lance from the earlier freakout about the blue lion. then he’s #relatable too i know the feeling of professional Salt.

allura’s got a great spike spiegel/space dandy sense of improvisation when it comes to piloting.

pidge is now the most #relatable bc holy shit fuck the slipperies.

oh my god hunk you just solved my stealth voltron/night in the woods au idea - v. kind and stress bakes = angus for sure. (now who is gregg i mean i know who i ship with hunk (keith and shay (and ot3, hunk has two hands)) but they’re both a little too mellow to be gregg in his up mood swings. like lance probably fits the bill best but then i have no one to be mae. keith might make a good bea? hrmmmmm.)

(i’m kinda leaning towards shiro as selmers ngl, even if she isn’t a ‘main’ character. she explicitly states that she’s seeking therapy and it’s working out for her and it’d be nice if shiro could get the same at some point. plus i think shiro would write poems like

My heart is A dankness But when I see you I feel a thankness When I feel A blueness All I need Is a youness

bc he’s a cheesy dorky guy. maybe some night he will catch that bus out to the west coast.)

(zarkon is either that asshole steve scriggins or eide because he’s not competent enough to be anyone else of consequence)

(allura is either the nice pastor or lori m. pastor bc she has to project the image of a strong leader at all times even if she’s questioning herself/her faith, lori m because she’s kinda haunted by death and i can sorta see her being the local quiet weirdo with a ton to say if you just talk to her)

(holy shit that’s a lot of words for an au for a series that hasn’t even finished yet so sorry)

so uh anyway this is the episode that launched keith/lance right? right. who the fuck builds an elevator without a service/evacuation ladder. im reporting that thing to osha and the elevator repair aliens union.

THAT’S HAGGARS VOICE. SHE’S TEACHING PIDGE ALTEAN. MY CIVIL WAR THEORY...

i mean i know they probably just recycled her va but

wow zarkon’s actually slightly competent for once. probably haggar’s doing.

that storm looks fucking badass.

aww allura ;A; then again they’ve only just started doing this tracking thing with this much intensity this season so like that can’t be the case. unless zarkon only just now realized he had allura’s dna/life essence on record (C.I.V.I.L W.A.R) and he could use them to track her down with. which i can totally believe. 

honestly the fact that the galmorans galrans. tf ulaz you’re screwing me up from the grave. even have a functioning space ship at all is probably despite zarkon, not because of.

she’s real sad she doesn’t get to kill allura. almost as if her death is to haggar as obtaining the black lion is to zarkon. hmm.

coran really embodies the nihilist millennial spirit. we’re probably gonna die anyway so why not.

episode 6: !!! i was wondering if we’d get someone like jim cummings show up. weird i thought he was more disney than dreamworks. also i love the organic/inorganic mix those are some cool aliens goddamn.

who’s this fucking loser on a hoverboard. he hasn’t even got a fraction of eyebrow guy’s charisma or charm.

it’s that dagger keith has huh. calling it now. he was way too flustered to be lying about it having something to do with him and since when does he hide like. anything. from shiro.

red lion is watching you TOTALLY GET CALLED. christ i’m nailing a lot of stuff about keith it’s making me v. positive about my civil war theory.

you self sacrificing dorks.

aww keith. i mean allura def. has a very strong point but aww.

morvok makes zarkon look intimidating and that is no mean feat.

oh yeah there’s some evangelion style pilot/robot synergy going on with how much effort hunk has to put into lifting things. like linked life energies. here’s hoping we don’t have an asuka vs the eva series moment that would be nastyyy.

honestly i was not expecting anything like allura and keith’s chat to appear in an action cartoon like it’s pure character interaction and dialogue about a legit difficult subject with two people who clearly care about and respect each other but both have justified differing opinions.

AAHH PIDGE THAT WAS THE WORST POSSIBLE BOOST

THIS IS A NIGHTMARE SCENARIO AAAAAAA

so the hub is the cushy spot for high ranking generals or something. sounds like the military police in aot.

that 360 tracking shot on lance was siiiiiick.

ugh you are not funny enough for those sound effects commander.

THIS IS YOUR MOMENT CORAN

red lion i love you

OH SHIT NEW HUNK POWER

this dude is suffering the same ‘destroy the lions!!’ thing as a lot of the galrans seem to have. like. don’t you lot want voltron? doesn’t zarkon want the black lion? dissolving them in acid is literally the worst possible way to fulfilling those orders.

lance have you been thinking about if keith and allura hooked up the whole time? can’t tell if salty or thirsty.

someone please throw that commander dude overboard. i feel infinitely worse for all the galran mooks now.

don’t tease me show don’t give me a blast that big

tell me that wasn’t his escape pod. ughghhghghghghhghghghhgh

more lol hunk food jokes. ughhhghg.

‘tracking through the black lion’ can’t fool me with that red herring m8. if he had that connection with the black lion he could’ve found shiro on that scavenger’s planet before keith could. 

episode 7: space spirates is the coolest fucking concept give me space piratES GIVE ME. SPAC. E PIRAT. ES

coren don’t be space racist towards oonaloos.

sparkly allura YES ALLURA GETS TO CHILL TODAY YESSS.

shame about shiro tho black lion’s like nah bitch we’re having a bonding exercise.

the space mall is the space dandy-est thing i’ve seen in this show. i want a crossover i want them to witness Viva All

it would be the dumbest shit

oh god they’re dressed like rpg characters which makes me think of a skyrim au which makes me think of my yugioh skyrim au which makes me wonder if i can combine the two. 

coran’s sasuke shirt is Uncomfortable.

i love this galran mall dude. varkon mall cop.

the civil war theory isn’t dead the lions could’ve been built afterwards or just not activated prior to reaching ‘home’. or black lion believes in home being where the heart is and not your place of birth.

more food jokes for hunk hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

they nailed the informercial salesguy voice on this guy.

keith would be naive enough to give a shady sales dude a treasure knife huh.

ok keith winning a knife fight like that DOES give me gregg vibes. a little. i guess we’ve never seen keith in a manic ‘up’ phase, just a progressively worse or better ‘down’ phase.

OH FUCK HE REALLY IS VARKON MALL COP. THE MEMES HAVE ASCENDED.

civil war theory... isn’t dead... hhh

ok ok ok so like maybe a mutation caused by direct contact with quintessence wasn’t controversial for a while. like you’re manipulating the planet’s essence of course you’ll look a little funky as a result and there’s not much difference between harvesting a little life essence and harvesting a crop.

the split comes from zarkon wanting to use the black lion/voltron and quintessence for war while king allura’s dad does not. zarkon takes his loyal team and superjacks them with quintessence essentially reshaping their bodies entirely, along with any alteans who are like ‘yeah no maybe war is what we need’. and this mutation is passed down genetically creating the galran race as we know it. and there’s probably some cloning going on too idk this is a semi-sci-fi show there’s gonna be clones at some point.

ok?

ok.

pidge. u nerd.

more of the oonaloo girl pls i love her.

ok i can get behind master chef hunk jokes

god everyone else is having a nice time and as usual shiro is trapped in a nightmare and also as usual he’s probably not going to breath one word about it to his crew (late edit: I WAS RIGHT).

galran cook man is cool with me can he join the crew.

i swear to god the black lion and shiro and zarkon confrontation is basically the same as the plot of utena???? shiro is utena. zarkon is akio. black lion is anthy.

otoh that doesn’t bode well for shiro so uh.

moving on

pidge and lance don’t get to hang out enough.

he take sthe cow. lance. laaaaance

this episode is ridiculous i love it. so space dandy.

varkon i love you.

allura your hair is so cute.

pidge and lance are officially NERDS

episode eight: ok so in like the first ten seconds and the first shot of the whole team and i’m getting alarm bells. keith is far away from everyone. there’s a pillar directly between him and everyone else.

keith.

keith my boy what’s gonna happen.

hhh hunk has definitely gotten a downgrade this sea-LANCE YOU RUDE LITTLE FUCK. like no offense if you like lance but i kinda. don’t. like he’s not nearly as endearing as lars from SU is even if their characters are pretty similar and i love lars.

hopefully he gets some nice moments soon bc i haven’t warmed up to him anywhere near as much as i thought i would. his best moments have been him hanging out with pidge tbh.

keith that is Incriminating anger there

HAGGAR’S VOICE AGAIN I’M TELLING YOU - wait no this definitely HAS to be recycling or else she’s covertly controlling the balmora. unless they had like a vocaloid system in altean times and didn’t realize they were using haggar’s voice and by the time they did it was too awkward to change.

shiro don’t make hints like that it makes me think you’re gonna die and I’d Rather You Did Not.

“if you’re going to be a leader you’ve got to repress the shit out of your ptsd” shiro. plz.

who decided to make the red lion look like it was hacking up a hairball to drop them off. good choice

oh shit haggar.

interesting they DON’T want the paladins around.

shiro’s face ahhhhh

so. keith might not be a galran who forgot he was a galran. i imagine the blade of malmora would keep close tabs on who has a knife and who lost them and they’d know if one of their own was lost on earth relatively recently surely.

holy shit this animation upgrade a++++++++

i mean shit considering he’s a teenage boy who’s up against assassins who’ve been fighting and training for millenia keith still does a damn good job defending himself.

otoh considering they’re assassins who’ve been fighting and training for millennia they must be wearing some major kid gloves. or they genuinely do want him to succeed, but want him to earn it first.

oh shit haggar wants a word with traitor dude this won’t end well

YAS KEITH

NO KEITH

KEITH ;A;

so keith’s dad is human, at least. oh jesus his voice cracking at ‘of course i do’

so his mother is galran, making him half-galran, which he has to have known all along bc otherwise the suit wouldn’t project it right? i am distressed that this actually

increases

the chances of haggar being his mother. agghg. AGHGHGHHGHG I WAS... JOKING... BEFORE................

KEITH ;___________________;

thace is going to dead-ass lie to haggar i love this guy.

RED LION GIVES NO FUCKS WOULD DEVOUR PLANETS TO SAVE HER HUMAN THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE A BAD THING

Moral Choice Knife says to stay in drugs and don’t do school. i bet Moral Choice Knife would be friends with my shadow priest’s baeblade.

yknow if it had a consciousness.

ah fuck allura’s not going to like this when/if she finds out. could be a season 3 plot?

there’s like 13 episodes total in this season right? seems like we’re ramping up for the final arc so i’ll stop here ♥

edit: fuck me tumblr squished everything together at the end there.