#omg kay.... my fellow psych brainrot buddy ✊

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

omg bc,, i think his "you will return in one piece. i'll make sure of it." totally speaks volumes of how much jeremiah means to him?? xavier is definitely not as,,, vocal, otherwise, about it—maybe he doesn't even realize it himself. but he does care for him, enough so that his safety is just as much of a burden to him as mc's is :(( i joke around about leaving xavi for jeremiah but i love their friendship so dearly 😭 they need each other so bad...

and granted? xavier being so emotionally distant with people is definitely rooted very, very deeply, especially considering he's lived for so long :( the daddy issues? the fact that he's lost mc not only once but twice? the fact that he's had to let go of so many memories and experiences just to "start over" again??? and then the non-invervention principle is like the icing on the cake to this? 😭 humans have this innate need for belongingness and it makes all of this sadder, because old habits die hard and even if he could crave intimacy so goddamn much, it's so hard for him to reach out for it when he can't help but be distant 😭 no surprises if this is also why he's pretty awkward in the way he initiates intimacy with mc sometimes, and why he must have so much pent up ... we'll all call him a little shit for it, but sometimes i think it's maybe less about him being sly, and a little more about hinting towards genuinely not knowing how to communicate his feelings more effectively 😔✊

unpopular opinion? there's a high possibility that xavier and mc could totally get into some sticky communication issues...

Everyone is talking about how cute this whole card was, but this moment had me thinking about how hard it must have been for Xavier and the other backtrackers to adjust to Earth and well... everything.

Like I wonder how hard it was for them to adjust to new foods, new (old? Ancient?) Tech, customs, clothing, everything.

Like it's clear from the main story that some of the Backtrackers are really struggling even after all this time, but I wonder how many faltered right at the beginning, and how hard, when they saw just how different it really all was. I mean, some people can't even manage to live in another country for an extended period of time, imagine living on an entirely different planet, in an entirely different time, with people who weren't even entirely your same species.

And, at the end of it, to develop a resistance to change, rather than to foster a healthy relationship with it, because of it? It's a coping mechanism, for sure, one we've seen from Xavier a couple of times actually.

All this was to say that in the midst of this tooth-achingly sweet moment, there was still a little bit of that "raw realness" that is always there with Xavier. He always seems to say the most accidentally sad things at the most random times.