#omg I'm so pissed at how poorly this end up looking

[lil-gingerbread-queen]

Later, Bruce finds him climbing the cave to join the bats.

[thrumugnyr]

WAIT ITS BEEN THAT LONG IN THE CAMPAIGN??

Patataj and Rahadin have been dating for 1.5 years??? O.O

Idk why am I surprised knowing how time can be in DnD lol but the fact its been a while gives me hope things won't end too bad for them babsba

Altho it's cute Rahadin showed up to support his boyfriend I'm kinda suspicious of his answer GAH

OMG, I should have clarified this better: we have been playing this campaign for 1.5 years - the time passed for Patataj is only about 2 months and that's about the time that they're dating, or, well, know each other at least.

Let me tell you chronologically how he ended up in a relationship with Rahadin (this is LONG and has spoilers for CoS so beware):

Rahadin was the first person Patataj met after he woke up in Barovia (he got dragged in through a dream by, as we would later learn, the Abbot, who was looking for sun god support in his endeavor to fix the curse (of Strahd) and accidentally grabbed Patataj over Senna).

Rahadin was there to check out the newcomers mostly (and because my GM was scared of combat balance haha) and they went through the death house experience together. For Rahadin this meant nothing much, but for Patataj that's an intense bonding experience (also they were holding hands for most of it, as Patataj was the only one without darkvision).

After they made it out of the death house, Rahadin disappeared, but Patataj took up the sending spell on his level up a few days later and thus was able to send Rahadin little messages. That's how he was able to secure a meeting with him as well. That meeting went rather poorly, but he managed to not get killed. You must also know that by this time, Rahadin just seemed like a sulky, shy dusk elf to Patataj. Someone who would be funny to make flustered and drag out of their shell a little. Not much else. He hasn't really seen him do damage or anything.

He does start to ask random people he meets about Rahadin though and then slowly realized that, well, he does not seem to be a terribly well liked guy. Kasimir (the leader of the few surviving dusk elves) tells him to stay away from him, but Patataj doesn't quite know why, because he gets along quite well with him.

So after a few days (and after the party killed the Aboleth in the lake) he asks Rahadin for a second date to make up for the first one and to his surprise, Rahadin agreed.

They have like a romantic little boat ride and Rahadin even brings a scroll for Pataj so he can walk on water (because he mentioned missing being able to run in the open desert and the lake is...pretty big and the next best option). Of course Patataj goes for a run but in the end he can't just let Rahadin sit all alone in the boat so he offers him a ride.

And that's how this picture happened ahaha. YES, IT WAS ACTUALLY A THING not a dream or anything - I know!! Wild!

Centaurs don't just offer someone to sit on them willy-nilly (if at all), so in the end Patataj confesses to Rahadin that he caught feelings. He's a bard after all and centaur hearts beat fast.

Of course for Rahadin it's way too soon to reciprocate such feelings the same way (I mean, they knew each other for....two weeks at this point, maybe one? And he's like 500 years old. Them centaur hearts be moving in hyperspeed to him). But he still admits a certain fondness and they actually do kiss when Patataj asks for one.

Some time passes, Patataj keeps sending those sending messages and they interact like that every day. Just small things, as sendings have a limit of 25 words ahaha.

Eventually, Strahd invites the party for dinner, as he does. Everyone is low key terrified, but Patataj is excited to meet Rahadin again....and it goes well. Our warlock pisses Strahd off majorly because he continuously keeps the appearance of the girl Strahd is into, but Patataj is having a great time, even winning a bard-off against Escher.

Patataj ends up spending some of the night with Strahd, ending in him offering Strahd his blood (and I do not think he was even charmed. We're all still confused as well. Strahd just was very good with words and made Patataj feel sad for him okay?). Rahadin ends up taking care of Patataj for the rest of the night and it all gets very emotional, they exchange gifts, they kiss more, Rahadin starts to open up a little about his past and other personal things.

No, nothing besides kissing happening - but hey, progress.

They are mostly back to sending messages and short meetings for most of the campaign then. This goes on for months in real time you know haha. It does sometimes skew with my perception how much time actually passes.

At some point Patataj manages to convince Rahadin to join a little party at the tavern in Vallaki and it's all very cute. They play like, throwing knives and never have I ever and it's really stupid but fun....thanks to probably the alcohol Rahadin does actually end up comfortable enough to do ....more than kissing that night, too. And that is actually also the last night they managed to spend together until now.

Meanwhile the campaign goes on, we go to Krezk like, twice, kill the Abbot, we do the Yester hill battle, defend Vallaki (where Rahadin was extremely worried). In Vallaki there was also one instance where Patataj almost died and sent some final words type of message to Rahadin and boy, Rahadin was UPSET about it. Mostly mad because the message did not include Patatajs whereabouts and such and it took him longer to find him. He was probably also upset that the whole thing made him so scared in the first place haha. Rahadin is not used to care about anything other than Strahd and maybe Anastrasia (and since they're both vampires, they die far less easy, so not much to worry there).

But yeah, this is how you manage to date Rahadin in Curse of Strahd: You need a GM who puts him in the campaign early enough and PERSISTENCE. It's not easy to make Rahadin care, but once he does, he's very loyal and your chances of survival become very good actually ('You wouldn't want to hurt Rahadins mate' worked very well with the werewolves for example lol) - but also it can be a little terrifying at times. Patataj is trying to come to terms with the fact that all the protection benefit he gets out of this also means that it is very likely that he will end up as a vampire in the end. Also there is no turning back. Rahadin is very unforgiving and I'm sure if Patataj would break his heart, Rahadin would slit his throat, because that's just how he deals with his problems. There is also still a chance Rahadin might follow Strahd's orders to kill Patataj despite his own feelings. It's 500 years vs a few weeks/months after all.

But I do think Rahadins feelings are genuine. He says the most romantic shit sometimes and he really was very supportive in the last session (at least as much as you could expect Rahadin to be). It was actually the first time he said 'I love you' in return! MORE PROGRESS!

And I also do think he doesn't just want to use Patataj for personal gain. He's not a very....scheming guy. Not that Patataj would care either way. He'd do almost anything for Rahadin at this point, aside of things that go against his morals of course. It's quite funny, really. Patataj knows of all the terrible things Rahadin has done by now, but he kind of shoves it aside under 'well he did it under Strahd's orders, he wouldn't have done it otherwise' because he just can't fathom Rahadin is THAT bad/uncaring, since to HIM he is extremely gentle and sweet, even if sometimes a little struggling with showing emotions. Love makes blind, I swear.

But I'm rambling. I hope they get a happy ending. At least Patataj would deserve one after everything (all the suffering and pain of people around him and his powerlessness to help are getting to him), but it IS Curse of Strahd and who knows what will happen. Even at the best outcome, he will have to kill some if not most of Rahadins 'family', in the worst outcome, Rahadin kills him. In the most likely, he ends up a vampire in Strahd's castle, never to see sunlight again.

So yeah, on that depressing note and for anyone who read this whole thing, I'll leave you with two songs from my Patadin playlist because who doesn't have songs for their OC?

Nessa Barrett - Die first

Amber Run - I found

[msookyspooky]

Spooky!!!!! Can you plz share your thoughts on Neve Campbell returning to scream? 👀

(Sorry if you've answered this already!)

Ps I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE ur series so much - ur writing is SOOOO good 🥹 The last chapter tore out my HEART but has me kicking my feet GIGGLING at the same time - I genuinely wish u the absolute best bc you are AMAZING 💗

OMG THANK YOU!! I appreciate that especially since I was lowkey a bit weary of even adding Billy and YN at the end but damn we're 4 books in this has to happen eventually 😭🥴 I swear that the latest chapter is actually done (Just proofreading) but the plot is so heavy so damn 'wtf' that I'm writing the next chapter because I wanna make sure this pieces together smoothly cause there is no going back afterwards. So I swear I ain't dragging my feet TOO much 😅 But I'm giddy and nervous to post bc omg I don't think yall are ready 😗🤭

That is...just complicated. I love the idea of Sidney returning but not for this movie simply because of how they handled Melissa. Idc what side of the aisle you're on firing someone for speaking their mind on their Insta instead of being a meek media darling will always rub me the wrong way.

ANNNNDDD these Producers and Executives have lowkey butchered Scream in so many ways since Wes Craven passed and the fact that they made Sidney have less screen time in 5 not only for ageism in my humble opinion and money hungry greed to replace her with younger actresses no one asked for (Sorry I was all pissed they killed Dewey just to replace him with Chad even if I love Chad and got rid of Neve for the sake of 'new chapter' bs with a Billy's daughter trope if they were gonna do that they should've went with Scream 4's original plot IMO OR Sidney's daughters and Mark etc)

THEN by 6 we got very use to them and Sam became a beloved character that we could live with her and Tara being the new final girls just to shitcan them (Jenna walked from what I remember good for her) over an opinion that wasn't stated rudely or anything just talking about the kids involved in this war and they treat her as badly as they did Neve cutting Neve's pay and tossing her aside just for Neve to agree to come back???

Man, I'm sorry I am not a Neve lover nor hater but my pride could never. Guess that's why I'm not in Hollywood or loaded bc I would NEVER sign onto a movie that publicly humiliated me by basically saying I'm not worth the pay, then treating a younger co-star so poorly, then signing back on because they paid me what I should've probably gotten paid in the first place. My Manager and PR team could bite me...Probably why I'm a struggling artist instead lol

I do not hate Neve for this choice because ik money is money but it's disappointing.

And honestly? I have BEEN vocal how Scream 5 is by far my least favorite and they suckered us in with nostalgia and Scream 6 was GREAT except for the ending with the killers being so...Wattpad to be blunt coming from a wattpad fanfic writer. Hate or love Jill Roberts but she was a great Ghostface and it's so OBVIOUS what movies Craven worked on versus not. The killers in 6 COULD have been great too had it not been for them related to Richie (Who is my least favorite GF by far) and how fanfiction both latest installments feel with reveals. Scream 3 did too but Scream 3 purposely did not take itself seriously while 5 and 6 did except for Mindy as comic relief.

Of course this is my opinion and thank you for asking I'm honored you wanna hear my rinky dink opinion but I am not looking forward to 7. Scream 6 may not be my favorite but it is top 3 for me up until the reveal and Sam letting go of the mask and choosing a path to the future feels like the perfect ending! Franchise is done! Move on!

These movies are not like Friday the 13th of TCM with new victims these are stories tying in the victims and making 7 with the political climate rn and how they got rid of THE TWO NEW FINAL GIRLS just to beg Sidney to make a comback while probably having the safest most generic plot with how many changes they probably had to make after the characters were gotten rid of.

I'm just not hyped for Scream 7 and probably won't watch it. Ya know, all good things have to come to an end. Even this fic in time has to end. And I think the execs bit off more than they can chew and are backpedaling instead of doing the reasonable thing and canceling and I hate that Neve and some writers etc are on board still

And let's be real; Scream is getting less believable with tech. 96? Yeah, I could see it! 2000's? Sure! But 2020 onward? With smartphones and smarthomes and ringdoorbells and dna collected its time to say good bye to something that has to move on! Scream 6 did a descent job with the multiple GF and Scream 4 despite me not liking it they did it best as far as preparing future Scream for the murders. Not to get away with it but to be caught and sell the footage. They SERIOUSLY could've ended at 4 and I would accept it :/

But whatever, they're still decent movies but 7 is just one I have no interest in truly watching. For me personally but thank you for asking and listening to me rant and hopefully if you want cheesy overdone meta tropes my fic will do the trick rather than the movies 😅🤞🖤

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

Looking for new au ideas you say??? (I saw those tags!) 👀

How about NFL player Jake and Ronnie (who works for the team in some capacity that's NOT a cheerleader) and the "we had fun" prompt.

I also wouldn't be mad if you made Jake play for the Indianapolis Colts. Just sayin'.... 👀😆

(I will question our friendship if you make him a Patriot! 😂)

oh fuck now this is a concept (and ofc he's on the Indianapolis Colts who do you think I am GO COLTS BITH!!!)

Jake would make such a perfect hot-shot tight end who won a heisman or some shit at Texas while in college

and no i don't want Ronnie to be a cheerleader either. too cliche.

but like the thought of her as a coach?? like one of the first female coaches ever and she's worked so fucking hard to get where she is.

she's not one of the Big Three in coaching or anything (maybe Brad is), like she's the Tight Ends Coach or something. She is competent and good at what she does and the Colts took a huge gamble on her.

everyone looks down on her cause she's a woman, and doubts her ability and if the season goes poorly they've all decided exactly where the blame is going to be put. It's a lot of pressure, but she knows that she's good and is determined to prove everyone wrong.

ah but then she starts fooling around with one of her players: Jake.

the first time was probably like, the boys begging her to go out for drinks and she agrees reluctantly (again, she has to be SO CAREFUL with everything she does). aaannnnddd she accidentally drunkenly goes home with Jake.

and of course they can't get enough of one another. ronnie is so worried about someone finding out. the season is going well so far but.....if she screws up even once she's so fired.

but then she gets pregnant

and if that doesn't just throw a wrench in EVERYTHING

she holds Jake back after practice under the guise of talking through a play he can't seem to get right.

but then she drops the bomb on him

and he reacts with the prompt "Look, we had fun. It was good! But, you know...I didn't sign up for this. I'm not exactly cut out for the parenting life."

"And you think I am?"

she is set to get an abortion. quiet and simple. she'd get to move on with her life and focus on her career and forget about Jake. goes so far as to go to the clinic. but she can't go through with it. she just can't.

a few weeks later jake probably asks her quietly if she handled "the problem"

without even looking at him, focused solely on the drills the guys are running. "I'm keeping it."

she probably waits until she literally cant anymore to say something to the head coach and general manager because she's terrified of getting fired. they ask who the father is but she refuses to tell them, that that's her business. they decide to keep her on, the season will be well over before her maternity leave, and they'll wait to see after that.

of course she tells brad who the father is and he is of course pissed that Jake isn't taking any responsibility for it. but Ronnie is okay with it. he didn't sign up for this.

she doesn't tell her players in exact terms that she's pregnant. she just doesn't know how to tell them. the guys love her (probably like Javy and Reuben), think she's the best tight end coach they've ever had and they will fight for her to stay as much as they can. but it's just....awkward cause jake knows and he wont stop staring at her.

they know she was sick for a while, working through the illness cause they're in the middle of the season and there's no time to be sick. she literally just carries around a bucket during practice lol

then she walks into practice one day and...she is clearly showing and they're all like "omg you're pregnant??? why didn't you say anything? that's so exciting!! who's the father?"

"there's no father."

idk something something Jake struggles with his emotions and is just generally a jerk for a while until he gets his shit together. cause he does care about Ronnie. both professionally and personally. he thinks she's one hell of a woman and if she wasn't his coach he probably would get into a relationship with her. but that's a relationship that's never been done and is just assumed isn't allowed.

an interesting scene, and probably the one that makes jake get his shit together, is during a game an opposing wide receiver and a few defensive players collide with the Colts sideline and of course Ronnie is there. she refuses to miss a game even in her condition (at this point i'd say she's probably twenty weeks??)

she doesn't get hit directly but she does get knocked over in the chaos

she's so embarrassed that the game gets put on timeout for medical to come get her. and she can just see the headlines now. but she is also terrified cause she got hit pretty hard and what if she lost the baby? she'd gotten attached. she looked forward to being a mom. she loved the little bean already. she couldn't lose them.

as soon as she's down jake rushes over to her and carries her away from everybody, through the tunnel and into the locker room. he talks to her to distract her from everything that's going on. but the baby's not moving and ronnie is so so scared.

"She's not moving - I can't, I can't feel her - "

"It's a girl?"

Ronnie just nods, she hates that she's crying. but she's glad no one else followed them in there.

"Can I?" he asks, hand raised tentatively towards her belly. "M-Maybe I'll be able to feel her moving."

"Okay."

It takes a minute, but eventually, he feels the baby moving around in there and they both laugh in relief.

He says that he's sorry for being an ass. She can't just forgive him like that, but she's willing to give him a chance. For their baby.

Then the emts show up with the gurney and he helps her on, watches her get pushed away. Reuben runs in to tell him they've gotta go, game's starting back up.

anyway after that they're pretty sweet on one another, but NO ONE can find out about their relationship or the fact that he's the father. she is staying in his very, very nice house in Carmel though (shout out to the roundabout hell).

the rest of the season goes well, they go to the Superbowl (a girl can dream) when she is about to pop. they end up winning (again a girl can DREAM OKAY?) and Jake gets so pumped that he kisses her on the sidelines.

it's such excitement and so much emotion that her water breaks and she gets rushed to the hospital to have the baby

obviously it gets out that jake's the father, but goddamn if ronnie's work on the team wasn't what got them to the Superbowl so...they get to keep seeing each other and she's promoted to Quarterback Coach.

She brings little baby girl to every practice in one of those little chest carriers. all the big football players are so cute with her. i can't.

uh anyway.....i may or may not be in love with this concept.....

[maleyhae]

I love you.

Dallas Winston x Johnny Cades

summary- Johnny and dally were in a secret relationship due to homosexuality being frowned appond during this time so Johnny felt unloved by Dally every time he saw the new girl dal was flirting with or hooked up with.

cw: homophobia (interlized and etc. sorta not really) uh sexual things mentioned and shrugs, cheating, poorly writen aguments & ending and probably more a/n: Im finally writing a normal fan fic omg omg omg oh my goodness!!! Anyways i have an Elmo x Joost fan fic soon and suggestions r available pls give me some^_^ !! NOT PROOF READ OR EDITED WE BALLIN

Me, ponyboy and dally were at the movies at the moment it was a boring movie it was your typical western movie I had done forgotten the name of it. Not like I cared about the name of it I didn't care much about movies like Ponyboy did, but it was better than watch my boyfriend flirt with yet another girl. Not that she gave into his flirts thankfully. Ponyboy noticed my sad look even though it was normal to see me like a sad little puppy he still asked, "Hey johnnycakes you good?" i looked and him and nodded "yeah just thinking" i said quickly.

A few minutes later i hear her yelling at him and throwing a coke that i would have gladly taken my throat was killing me. I watched as dally got pissed and decided to stand up and say "quit it dal leave her alone" which shockingly he did. He left pissed off and i decided to follow after him after apologizing to cherry and telling ponyboy i was going to get dally.

"DAL" I yelled looking for him, hoping to find him soon. I found him at someone's (a/n i forgot the name of him pls I'm going 2 cry) house knocked asked for him and got him he took to his room quickly. "What is it kid?" he said as if i wasn't his boyfriend, "stop addressing me as kid I'm not a damn kid dal I'm your fuckin boyfriend" I said snapping. I felt bad for snapping as he looked shocked and asked me what i said so I said it again not scared as i usually would be. "No dallas you listen to me god damn it You say you love me, and you are happy i am your boyfriend, but don't god damn show it any fuckin more! All you do is flirt with the other girls in front of me, but God forbid i did the same it would be different would it?" I said not realizing to cry till dal walked up to me and held me and wiped my tears away. "Baby first its dal not dallas dont even call me my name again, and You know it's a act you know i hate them girls I only do want you doll..." He said softly and i realized he was right but i wasn't thinking at the moment "But how can I believe this? You always say this how about you show it before you tell me it again" I say as i storm out the people at the party was confused till they saw dal upset and realized what it was.

He followed me to the Curtis house and saw me sobbing into Soda pops chest. I think this is when he got pissed and thought I was replacing him as he ripped me off him and grabbed sodas collar of his shirt and started yelling at him. Which exposed our relationship which no one cared about because dally was beat sodas ass till Darry came and yanked him off of him. He pulled away from Darry and held me asked me softly as if he didn't beat my friend's ass for holding me "did that prove my love for ya..?" I had just nodded and said my apologizes for both me and Dallas's chaos and we went back to his place.

THE END YIPPIE ^_^ also sorry if this sucks dookie i havent wrote in so long and saw the outsiders was more popular again so i decided to write one of my fav ships angst!!! I hope y'all enjoyed :]

[gwydionmisha]

Personal: In Which I Accidentally Freak Out a Guy

Sunday was a trip to the Lake with Millennials. No rich children stole my crutch this time. We had a really good swim, but the current was above average strong and at some point I was like, "Oh shit! There's the swim bouy! We are in the middle of the boat lanes. We swam back. It was fine. They put in an outdoor shower this year, which is a huge help. After we showered we ate finger foods and chatted.

I stopped by the bathrooms on the way to my car and OMG! It was one of those things where there was a perfectly logical explanation from the perspective of the three of us already in the bathroom, but like opening a door into chaos for the other two people involved.

This bathroom is tiny. Three stalls on your left. Across from that a big metal communal urinal. The sink and mirror give an excellent view of the door and also a small bench they jammed in against the door wall. It's almost 6:30PM on a crowded hot weekend. it's a couple hours before sunset, so the park is less crowded than when we arrived 4ish, but people are still arriving and the bathroom is Trashed. The little beach strip is more mud then sand and people have been tracking water and black mud/sand in there for about ten hours and there is tp paper mache all over the ground and the toilets desperately need cleaning.

So I step out of the stall, just as a person is heading to the nasty ass urinal trench thing. Another guy is climbing up on the bench to change, because he understandably doesn't want to be barefoot on that floor and then put on shoes to drive home. Bench guy is soon full on pooh bear over my right shoulder as i wash my hands, which takes a while because the water keeps auto shutting off, so I have to stop and restart every few seconds. Perfectly framed over my left shoulder is the door, which swings open.

It's two gentlemen, one of whom beelines for the urinal. The other freezes in horror and starts yelling, "Wrong bathroom! Wrong bathroom!" I have very long hair. I am wearing a mask because I'm in a small, poorly ventilated place. I have on a black tee and my trunks look like goth shorts. My sandals are of an ubiquitous style worn my any gender in my region in good weather. I'm very androgynous. I think it was my hair causing the initial panic, but his head turned to follow his friend's trajectory to the 2-3 person piss trench and he saw bench guy crouched pantsless behind me like a downhill skier doing the streak, as if he was possibly about to pounce on my back, and his cries of wrong bathroom got a lot more shrill. In my head I'm picturing the Guy in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas who walks in on hippies liking a guy's jacket. His oblivious friend is doing his business, the other guy is about to leave. I turn and head towards the poor panicky guy and am like: It's the right bathroom. I have long hair.

We have accidentally traumatized a guy who was clearly not ready for the PNW weird.

A couple millennials came back for dinner. Once we arrived, I realized just how fucked I was. I'd swum too long and my arms were DONE. Luckily, I'd dropped off New Millennial to get their car and a take 'n bake, so I could just lung and rest up. They ended up staying very late talking. I closed down the apartment for the night and went to bed.

I could have gotten up ninish, but I decided to read Camp Damascus in between pettins and supplemental sleep all day, which turned out to be a good call. I have this thing where I promise the Millennials that if they are ever stranded at one of the further bits of town they can call me and if I physically can, I will come get them. Bus service is even shittier out there and there's a severe lack of shelters to wait in. It was pouring down at a rate that was threatening to flood low lying areas. A Millennial was trapped at the back of beyond with a long drenching slog to the bus. Of course I went, but it turned into a a much longer trip than intended for reasons that were no one's fault. I got them home and reasonably dry though, and I'm not sorry.

It did eat and extra chunk of evening though, and I'm really chewed up from swimming. I am very glad I got the aggregate out Friday, because I'm not up to much posting this evening.

We plan to do lake swimming on Sundays all August, which will effect posting schedule.

[skunked-up-kicks]

Omg... same... I don't remember my first reaction to that kevin-andrew staring line, but like for example, it took me a while to get why Nicky warned Neil not to look too much at Kevin. And when people interpret things sexually/romantically in the fandom I'm definitely surprised, like the cigarette pack in Andrew's back pocket turned into staring at his ass etc. I did find stuff like Andrew brushing Neil's back more telling, but I didn't read every moment from a sexual attraction lense u know

I don't know if my last ask made sense but basically same sometimes im like "oh you guys think this line is about attraction. ok. i didn't know that" i feel like i learnt to see the romance/attraction in most of it bc i remember i felt like neil for the longest time -- i didn't see the signs of 'attraction' a lot of the time, though i did see more blatant flirting

lil disclaimer thingy: i understand everyone reads book differently and is coming from different perspectives, and i'm not intending to shame anyone or anything, just wanna talk about my experience reading aftg.

so, if i'm being honest... i do genuinely find it so baffling that people read certain scenes (mainly book 1 scenes) as sexual. like you mentioned the infamous 'neil sussed the twins out by which one had a cigarette packet in their back pocket' scene that people have turned into 'neil was ogling andrew's ass'. which.. neil is a respectful king and would never, okay? i hate when ppl make him into a fucking creep :// but also it's a good example of an early moment in the series that showed how observant and clever neil could be so it also makes me sad that the moment got stripped of that in favour of it being sexual :(

anyway, besides sexual clearly not being how it's intended to be read, it's also weird to me because like... my mind was not at all in the place to be reading scenes as sexual when i first read that scene.

we've just been introduced to neil not that long ago, and he's been presented to us as a traumatized teenager who's been squatting in his highschool's gym locker room, seems to have a nicotine addiction, is really anxious, has seen his mum die, and i'm also pretty sure there's lines about how lonely neil is and about how much he's grieving his mum. not that long before the cigarette-in-back-pocket scene doesn't neil have a moment at the window where he thinks "one of us has to make it mum"??

what i'm very poorly trying to explain is that, at least when i first read the books, i was really attached to neil early on and more importantly i was really protective of him. cause he's a child really... and a very hurt and distressed one at that, who's in a new and clearly unsafe environment. andrew's group is not presented in a good light early on, so i was rightfully suspicious and untrusting of them. how people can be given a character like neil in a situation like that and be playing matchmaker almost immediately is... yeah.

like... my mind wasn't in the place to be going "oooo neil thinks one of them has a nice ass!!🥴🥴"... LIKE? the scenes before certainly aren't set up in a way that's leading you down that train of thought...

it's the same as the scene where neil puts andrew's hand under his shirt, people talked about seeing that as sexual too. but andrew's been raped literally like 2 or 3 pages ago??? when i read those kinds of posts i can't help but think "how is this what's on your guys minds right now??..."

plus, when people say they saw these moments as sexual attraction they are often also implying they were thinking "maybe they'll get together". which is why i mentioned that i didn't trust andrew's group, cause i assumed everyone else felt the same, so i also assumed that like me they wouldn't be thinking of neil possibly getting with any of them... cause if you don't think they're trustworthy... why would you? i just wanted to protect neil from them ngl :') the only other character i liked at the time besides neil was wymack cause he actually showed that he cared about neil's wellbeing.

even that scene where andrew runs his fingers also neil's back, i honestly thought andrew was trying to intimidate neil... cause i didn't fucking like or trust andrew! he had non-con drugged not that long ago and i was still pissed at him and his group at the time. plus, andrew had used touching neil as a way to try and intimidate him before that so. even if i had picked up on the fact that andrew was attracted to neil from that during my first read, i wouldn't have thought they'd be getting together, or even wanted them too lol.

also because, aside from what i've said, there was also the fact neil told us he didn't swing... some scenes happened before that but most that people talk about happened after. if i'm reading a book and i'm having moments where i'm thinking maybe someone is attracted to the main character it's because i assume something might actually happen!

but i believed neil was aro/ace and so i wasn't looking for moments of neil being attracted to people, or moments of others being attracted to him. i never really bothered trying to read between the lines, it never even crossed my mind for so long... cause i had already set my mind on "neil won't end up with anyone". i only remembering it occurring to me at the "doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" scene.

and honestly, when that happened i remember thinking something like "andrew's gonna end up getting rejected". idk? i never doubted neil was aspec, i started off thinking he was aro/ace like i said but i never went "oh he's gay", i just went "oh so he's not aro/ace but he's somewhere on the spectrum of being asexual".

and also tbh... i liked that neil never thought of things sexually. it was nice :'( and seeing his own thoughts and actions getting interpreted in that way, especially after we should have been under the assumption he wasn't interested in things like that... it rubs me the wrong way.

(i know aro/ace ppl can have relationships and/or have sex, but the way neil presented his sexuality and acted when hit on. to me, it made it seem like he was completely uninterested in either)

i can understand going back through the book after reading for the first time and being like "oh andrew's actions or words here might have been partially motivated by his attraction to neil at the time!", but through the first read? and for neil?? it's weird to me...

this is quite long so sorry bout that lol, i think i'll leave it here. it's nice to see someone else feel a similar way anyway ;^;

again, i don't think it's wrong if people read it differently. it just confuses me cause it's so different from my experience reading it and what i would expect it to be like for others

[indigobackfire]

May I ask you a question: why do you like Diego and Ismelda? I'm not their hater, just neutural on them, but I can't get why some people like them.

Oh that's okay, nice of you to ask (some people would just attack). (Please excuse the length and any misspellings).

For starters, I have a tendency to like unlikable characters, yes as simple as that. No, no characters like Merula who you're supposed to hate or be enemies with, but characters supposed to annoy or make the person interacting/reading roll their eyes. That's how I made some of my best friendships in school.

I won't go in depth why I chose them to ship with my ocs (I encourage you to go through my shipping tags if you'd like) also because it's a whole other topic and I'll end up writing a bible here. I'll try as much as I can not use headcanons cause those will mean nothing to you, but I think is worth to say what I, Bee, think of them is not what my MC thinks of them and I would say she has a rocky start with these two as anyone.

First Ismelda.

I guess my liking if Ismelda gets a bit deeper than just liking a character I find nice, I actually see some of my school experiences on her. I wasn't emo doing grusome comments at all, but I was this outcast who thought of herself as this unappealing, unattractive, and uninteresting person who almost everyday wished she could be homeschooled because I just didn't have the patience to witness other people's bullshit. I wrote sad poetry for people just like her! I took 6 years in the same school to finally find a real friend because the others kept leaving me.

So in some points I can't help but sympathize with what she's going through. Being alone, seeing the only friend you have slip away to someone you can't possibly compete with - I was not an MC in school, I was Ismelda! -, being unattractive in a place where everyone looks at least cute, getting the side-eye for going against the grain. I have no sister, no negligent family, but as human I can empathize with her troubles.

Besides points I can sympathize with, I like some of her attitude of screw everyone and what everyone thinks, which is a perspective I sort of took after years of being laughed at. On the gruesomeness aspect, my last fandom, that I'm still in, is Hannibal, so I'm not unfamiliar to gruesome and cannibal jokes, characters being terrible to each other and we still shipping them and joking about them, and idk stabbing people? In media ofc xD

Also HER BARK IS MUCH HARSHER THAN HER BITE. People often comment negatively about her on the things she says, but it's obviously for shock value, when threat appears she's pissing her pants and it's not fooling anyone. It's hilarious to me like watching a lil baby puppy trying to seem threatening, sometimes we even place a finger on their mouth so they can bite us softly.

The 'haha I wish Voldemort was back' is her being at the same time an idiot, a product of her house (let's not forget at this period in time Slytherin is full of straight up DE kids with DE ideals), and unknowledgeable about what it all means. She hasn't been, as far as I know, directly affected by the 1st Wizarding War like Barnaby or Merula - those two literally had their stupid ass parents taken away.

I also like to watch JC try poorly to build her an arc. The placing of Crushed for example is off, happening after many dating SQs, but is there her arc begins - she has a stiff moral compass that gets a lil loose after that -, then we have the Sphinx club where she's way less hostile, the Quibbler SQ where they do all sorts of weird stuff to her but I wanna talk about it another time, and the Great Cook Off where she actually apologizes for overreacting. She's not a fully baked character, she's a caricature of the emo girl and I like to watch her development, and even when there's no visible development, I find humor.

I don't like everything she does or everything she says - but I don't even like Barnaby a 100% of the time - but I know it's fertile ground where a great character can grow.

As for Diego this might be shorter because I've known him for less time in the game.

Diego is extroverted, he's confident, and he's always eager to help. People's problem with him comes mostly from he's flashy, he has a grandiose sense of self, and that he s flirty. And none of those things are aspects I take trouble with.

I've said before, this talking in third person, calling himself 'great', 'the best' is a way of asserting himself to himself and others. And there's nothing wrong with that as there's nothing wrong with being a shy introvert. So far, he has placed himself high without ever placing someone down and he gives praise where praise is due.

As being flirty, which people really seem to hate and I really see no harm. Is not like he tried to kiss MC or said something inappropriate. I find it quite endearing actually. I'm gonna guess JC wanted to make him a Don Juan but landed on Johnny Bravo and I'm here having a laugh about it.

The 'omg he thinks he's the best but but MC never lost a duel to him' argument is so stupid to me, because the duels we do value nothing, if we lose a duel the game makes you pay to do another one as many times as we need. The value is in things known and said, Diego is literally a dueling instructor - probably placed as such by Flitwick. Unfortunately when we duel him is not like the game allows us to lose, is different from Penny's potion making, where she makes it while we sit and watch and even before we see her doing a potion, we're told she's the best at it and she's knows she is.

Diego has shown to be, besides his more prominent characteristics, to be thoughtful, always willing to help, and enthusiastic. He never shies away from the blame, he encourages others, and he's eager to listen to others. But like Ismelda he's really underdeveloped and underused.

One point to make would be his personality vibes with my MC's personality. She's an extrovert, she likes to think she's desired, she takes pride in the abilities she acquired along her curse breaking.

To conclude, do I think you should like them? It'd be nice for me to have someone to talk about them with, but it's not about what I want. You don't have to like them, all I ask from people is respected, specially on other people's content. I have characters I don't like in the game (I didn't max out Tulip on purpose, and Andre who was starting to grow on me had a big reset lately), so I won't try to force them down your throat, but you won't see me dragging them down.

Your ask was why I like them and if all said wasn't enough, the simple answer is they're both ridiculous and the make me laugh and smile. I'd like to have them as friends.

[angeloncewas]

omg hiii returning to ur askbox for Discourse Reasons :) im so sorry I havent sent u anything recently ive just been busy but ummm just a disclaimer this is /nm and i think this just all has to do with us having different expierences for various reasons but i have seen a lot more dt stans absolutely shit on sbi for no reason or shit on them just bc an sbi stan (a lot of whom even like dt) made an offhanded/poorly worded criticism of one/all of them and it's just been. very upsetting? bc i used to like dteam a lot more but now it feels hard for me personally to engage in dt fan spaces/content bc a lot of those same people posting about dt are the people who ive seen actively take something that wasnt That Deep in poor faith and just shit on sbi to piss off the op instead of realizing the ccs have literally nothing to do with this stuff and if you have a problem with the stans you dont need to take it out on the ccs. obviously this can go both ways, sbi stans arent innocent in this, i just know ive personally had to block and unfollow a lot of people for shitting on sbi when their anger was actually targeted at stans who half the time werent even actually spreading hate, just criticism. this is probably just bc of who i follow but that doesnt make it any less annoying to see dteam stans pop up out of nowhere on my dash just bc they came for an sbi stan for something that wasnt actually an issue until they decided to make it an issue (ie somebody expressing their own reasons why they dont like dteam with proper tagging so fans dont see it unless they literally look for it and then still somehow ending up getting dogpiled) which then turns into like a 3 day long discourse between the two sides of mcytblr.

anyways, thanks for listening to my 2 cents! like i said, /nm i was just getting really frustrated about this earlier and then i saw you talking bit about it so i am taking adventure of ur willingness to respectfully discourse and doing so lol

hope you've been well!

—🦷

Tooth :D I hope you've been well too - no worries about not being around, I've also been v busy. Just glad you're still here tbh <3

I definitely have had that experience on Twitter, not here, but I'm really sorry you have. It sucks that we've both had ANY sort of experience like that, considering how adamantly people proclaim mcytblr to be the most superior of the platforms, but I digress.

"if you have a problem with the stans you dont need to take it out on the ccs" is just so right... and honestly vice versa too. Like as much as I am a fan of the creators, they're so removed from us that I feel like so much regarding them is so... distant. Whereas you and I (or any two people, I mean) are right here, right now, and if we have a problem (or don't !) it's really between us.

I know it can be frustrating to see people against the creators you like, but dteamblr (they're not really an organized group, but summarized for the sake of) comes close to dttwt in defensiveness sometimes. And I get it, I get the urge too, but it still does cause problems with people who are trying to exist within their own space and I do think that the worst dteam stans - on every platform - are some of the most concerning people in this fandom. I don't know how we've normalized threats and the like but OH BOY. Chill a little.

Idk. I hope you find joy in dt spaces again because it's not fair that people took that from you :/ and I hope the people of dteamblr stop going for peoples' throats all the time; sometimes it's okay to just let it be. Not everyone's gonna like you or the creators you do, and making a problem out of it or something like it is just petty.

[allforthecourtt]

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 12 - "i'm baaaaaacckkkkk 😈" ~Jodi

An iconic moment happened today and I accidentally voted my closest ally out of the game. So Brayden got sent home and he is going to hate me when he finds out what happened. I did kind of get him out on accident I did not mean for Brayden to go I wanted Jay gone but I was blindsided by Colin and Josh and Elle AND AMY!!??]£[_[3 Omg. Im really upset that hes gone i miss him so much and I dont know how Im gonna go on without his brain. I dont trust Jay but Jared and Jay were both messaging me about how they already forgive me and stuff so thats a little crazy. I think it could be fake or they are just desperate for numbers. But I am with Josh and Amy and Colin and Elle now. I want to be with their numbers. I talked to all of them individually and they said they all were sorry for lying to me and causing me to get my friend out. I know its just a game but I just feel awful and so guilty right now. This has probably been the worst day of my life. He probably will never play another org with me again and hes the only reason i play orgs its boring without him. We are best friends increal life and I hope he can forgive me. I havent said anything to him because thats breaking the rules. But when he finds out im literally so scared of what he'll say to me. I pray he will forgive me I am literally so dumb af.

i'm baaaaaacckkkkk..................... 😈

This is literally worst case right now with jodi winning the play back like throughout the day she has won back her allies including anastasia since she swapped coins with her. Elle, colin, and josh all gave me all their coins to grab immunity before the other side to protect me but also it makes me a bigger target lol plus I gave elle some swapped to get the second thing the leftover because I THOUGHT it could give us an extra vote since that was ony menu but I was tired and drunk and it was a LOT of words and it was just the hunts which I knew didn't have any and I feel terrible bc 150 tokens and my actual alliance is going to be so mad when they realize THAT I HAVE THE LAST ONES and fucked up in suggesting it at all. First they were going for info. So now I think Jodi got all the other sides tokens and they are pooling for something idek. It's literally worst case like we were set to be up 5-2 or at least 4-3 and now it looks like it's 4-4 again hahaha neat. And it looks like colin is chatting with jodi again and they are making deals lol like tbh if she gets to the end I am voting for her to win I've said it many rounds. Turns out anastasia and brayden not only know each other irl they are besties so she mad mad. And Josh looks to be making deals and thinking about flipping so I am on borrowed time but tbh I never expected to make merge. I am glad I have immunity bc I physically couldn't do the challenge anywU here lol and I fucked that up too hahahaha. Good times all around. Like I want to tell them about my steal a vote to have official numbers but now they'd just be mad hahaha literally colin and I had every advantage except jared's idol now. Ahhhh idk what to do but it remains hilarious. I'm expecting Raffy to give my info in these in the market and that is no bueno ahahahaha. I am tempted to just give colin everything bc it's funny. Also jodi talked to me until 1am just trying to guilt me into being back with her I said I have to sleep goodnight like 5 times minimum. Her social game is so good that's why I think she has them all back with her and possibly josh. The problem is that I was keeping her close bc she had the info from others and from my game. I really never had a number one lol bc I was just vibing and I guess now colin is bc I flipped with him lol and I think it's hilarious he grew his army from 0 to 5 almost.

~

I have a suspicion colin and anastasia have actually been closely aligned this whole time and she knew everything all along. Colin sure loves giving out info haha. And apparently deals are happening all over, none of which I have made 😂

Jodi's backkkkk, wild wild wilddddd. The challenge went poorly, darn thats like 20 minutes wasted. We bought the refresh and there was nothing there 💔 that's 150 tokens wasted 😅. But! We got Amy immunity✨ and then Colin won the challenge so tbh everything's still going great lol. Wonder how we're gonna vote this round :/ we'll see how this goes! I've stopped worrying whether I'm going completely, it either happens or it doesn't 💖 xoxo, gossip girl (this is misleading I HAVE NOT SEEN THE SHOW i just know way too much about it because i have friends that did lol)

So after I voted my showmance Brayden out of the game I was left with an interesting situation. I had cried to Josh Colin and Amy that I was alone now and that my whole alliance hated me. With Jodi back in, I dont think they believe me. I literally flipped sides so I could be in their alliance because I didnt trust Jay and Jared and Jodi. But they literally lied to me about the vote and said it was nothing personal to me but they didnt tell me the plan because they wanted to see if I was lying. Which sucks for me because I then voted Brayden out :( Now that they know that im truthful they said they would work with me now. But all of them have been pretty inactive today. I talked to Amy the most and a little Colin and a little Josh. But I wasnt in their alliance. So I asked Amy if I could be added into an alliance chat since I was apperently in their alliance now. And she said sure. And they added me to a vote block. That is not an alliance group chat btw. So I was like wow thanks. But inside I was like screw this. So before this all happened, Jodi, Jay and Jared put me in a true alliance group chat. This morning I was ready to work with Colin and Josh but not anymore. Not after they put me in a vote block chat clearly saying to me that I am just a number to be used. They don't even need my vote either because Amy has an idol and Amy and Colin are safe. So I'm obviously voting with Jay, Jared, and Jodi. And I know they probably have a final three without me. They could call it something really cool like the three J's. But I called Jay and explained everything to him. (Also Jay forgave me for literally trying to get him out. He umderstands that its a game and all of my motives about not trusting him anymore.) He said he would be a hypocrite if he didnt forgive me because he told people my name in the chaos vote. So I actually think we are cool. And I told Jay that I am his number one. Which is true. He told me a lot of things about how Amy is actually really smart and stuff (I thought that girl was just a goat that I could take to the end with me) But her and colin are tight and both immune. This is bad. Basically we will go to rocks unless Elle flips to our side. Jay is giving his pitch to Elle tommarow. And maybe I will apologize to her correctly tomarow too. ALSO SPELLING THE WORD TOMARROW IS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE. Also I took 62 minutes to complete a puzzle today so thats kind of emberassing. Anyways bye everyone this was so much fun to type omg.

Lol I woke up to a text from jodi asking if anyone was taking about votes yet and I said no because I went to sleep early bc I almost passed out from heat yesterday and had just woke up and she responded "ummmm lol...." 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry I sleep. She's in Colin's dms saying how I was legit her number one and now we can't even talk about votes. Like yeah girl we worked our asses off to get you out of the game sorry I'm not happy you are back. Also I'm still at disney world so I don't have the time for a million conversations. I know I'm going to be the Russell Hanz of the f3 /if/ I make it. So what's jury management lol like she was already pissed I voted her out and I plan to do it again. Anyway it looks like it's hilariously about to be a unanimous jay vote tonight but I am thinking we throw one vote somewhere else in case of an idol. But if jodi did get anastasia back we can't do that. Anyway lol I'm immune so whatever. Elle and Colin discussed like if it's on elle (which apparently jared proposed an alliance of 5 which included myself lol!) Then we could go to rocks and have only josh as a possibility and statistically he won't go if he is willing to go to rocks that it. All this to say I'm f7 and I want to keep my extra vote to f6 if possible so I can use the idol for fun at f5.

https://youtu.be/snpKevncc44

My quest has come to an end. I joined this game to be someone who could be there for Jodi. Jodi and I played survivor subrosa together and we both had rough experiences due to a player in the game who harassed jodi and tried to convince everyone I was misogynistic. As much as I love Survivor, I didn’t play this game to win. I played this game because Jodi told me she was playing it and I wanted to be her body guard. I wanted to be someone who could be there for her both as a number but also as an enforcer, anybody who ever dared to do anything to Jodi would’ve had to have dealt with me. Tonight, Amy and Colin have immunity, and either amy or josh or elle have an idol, so there’s no point in making any noise tonight and wasting Jared’s idol. None of those 4 trust me, and I doubt any of them like me. It is what it is, it’s best for Jodi, Jared, and Anastasia’s game to move forward without me, and it’s smart for Jared to keep his idol. Tonight, I will be voted out, and I am 100% at peace with it. 

Since Elle, Josh, Amy and Colin pooled their tokens for immunity and advantage refresh, it means all the advantages and disadvantages are on our side. Plan is to send Elle a disadvantage and let Colin know because honestly it’s not hard to find out anyways. Jay doesn’t mind getting booted at some point cuz he wants to stand for me on the jury, but I don’t want to boot him right now. Obviously they won’t boot Elle, so I’m going to see if Jared will propose Anastasia. The thing right now is me/Jay/Anastasia/Jared also know next round is invisible. So I want Jay or Anastasia to send Colin and Amy disadvantages because if they’re paranoid seeing me Jared/Jay/Anastasia have advantages and they have disadvantages, they might be paranoid enough to play all their idols. I also wanted to keep Jay for this round as it’d be unanimous and something everyone can settle on. Jared wanted to do me/Jared/Josh/Amy/Colin as an alliance but has concerns about the 3 of them being in top 5 in the majority snd also Colin having his ideal f3. I told him my plan has the best shot at flushing all idols and hopefully we can either get Josh to flip or at least have Amy/Colin vulnerable at 5/6. Last thing is Jared is worried he’d be blindsided this round. I told him my plan and I said even if he wanted to flush his idol this round, next round should be ok if we all vote out Jay and the rest of them flush idols. Good to be back in the game! I genuinely believe Colin wants me as a shield at least for this round, and if I can make it through, I have a game to play. 

Not everyone saying they only bought an advantage lol what about those other 70 tokens 👀👀👀 Like it must be jay unless someone is lying haha i am hoping people are just busy bc these answers I'm getting from Josh and Colin are concerning 😂 It looks like only elle and got disadvantages ☠️ I am really hoping not to be a target next round even though I know I will be haha. Next round is only 7 and I'd love to take out jodi and jared before they turn on me ☠️ especially since colin creeped on jodi's insta and it is possible they know each other from sports irl. And she was so concerned about all these pregame connections 😂 and here it was likely to deflect. Anyway I just swapped my position of having jodi do all the social work with having colin do all the social work knowing full well I'm not gonna get those end votes. I'm just trying to pull up my placement average now 😂. I hope everyone sees me as having no social game to take me to the end lol bc realistically I don't bc I don't care to put in that time this game. As I write from the pirates of the caribbean line 😂 So anyway if I'm not being lied to which I might be it looks like unanimous jay tonight but also I think the other group was talking split on jay like a 3-3-2 and I'm like wait the 2 wouldn't help. Elle are you okay with that? So I think they must have figured out I have stuff ☠️ I wonder what people REALLY bought haha okay bye

Jodi is back, not just Jodi Jodi, but player Jodi. Player Jodi thinks a LOT. When I was out, the entire time I was hoping somebody caught on that Amy flipped because they knew to put a stray vote on Colin to protect him from chaos idol, but they left Josh exposed. Why? Because Colin knew Amy was going to throw a vote on Josh. Also, Colin tied with me for closest ally and that set off an alarm too. Onto the next. So Colin won immunity, Amy bought immunity, but this could possibly be good because it means they are playing knowing they are not at risk themselves. Anastasia is voting with them this round, but she's actually working with us. She told us that the actual plan on that side is: "Jay, Jared, Jodi vote elle and Elle, Amy, Colin vote Jay and Josh and Anastasia vote Jodi" Anastasia will vote me here to continue "working" with them for the next vote. Essentially, they thought that Jay had the merge idol this whole time and Colin was weary about it, and that's why he got nervous about sending out Jay last round. That told me Colin did not have the merge idol. Josh came to me too about Jay having the merge idol. But the way they're splitting the votes this round shows me now that somebody has stepped forward to mention they have it (likely Elle) because if Jay idoled, Elle goes in this split vote plan. Therefore, somebody must've been like "ok let's just be safe and split the votes, I have the other idol". That's good and bad because now Colin has no merge idol paranoia, and they're also able to use it together. It also did confirm to me they've talked about it. Here's where things get tricky. Player Jodi is so tempted to run with it and do a 4-3-1 Josh-Jay-Jodi but it's so risky and could possibly destroy the long term social game, especially if they idol for Josh and Jay goes anyway (we are not idoling for him here). So instead, I'm going to use Jay's vote out to the best of my advantage. Hopefully flush an idol if possible, maybe a steal-a-vote, something. Knowing about next round being invisible is good info for us. Having this info is so key and usually I would think that immunity for a round is bigger than this but being able to plan ahead for a GAME-CHANGING twist is crucial here. My move here is to play the game through psychological distress. I have no advantages! Since they're out of tokens from buying immunity, me/Anastasia/Jared/Jay bought advantages for ourselves and also sent out disadvantages to Colin/Amy/Elle. Seeing that not only we have advantages but also them having disadvantages, they probably still feel like things will be ok because they'll just split votes or whatever and one of them needs to win immunity. But given this is an invisible round, I think Amy is honestly paranoid enough to just play her idol, hopefully Elle does too, and then between me and Jared, we'll idol for one of us. I also plan on bluffing an advantage coming back from Jury, and say something along the lines of having to survive one round before the advantage got activated. I'm going for the win, everyone, I know that if I get to the end with anybody, I have a solid shot at winning. I just need to get there and to do that, I must play an adaptable game – more than ever. PS I am holding onto Jared's idol right now. Power (temporary) feels amazing. Dw I'm giving it back....😈

this has been the most chill round in a while. which is really weird consider JODI IS BACK AND WE BLINDSIDED BRAYDEN LAST ROUND this round is turning out to be what I WANTED last round to be. everyone is talking with everyone, people are trying to disband the sides and all intermingle. it's really interesting how no one else was on board with this until after they lost majority. seems like people don't like playing from the bottom. weird huh now these bitches know how I felt >:( anyway. jodi is back. it's weird. she knows that amy flipped now and everyone is playing very carefully my ideal boot this round was either jay or josh, in that order. so when my gay ass WON IMMUNITY I immediately put out jay's name. we already have the numbers, but I also like said my piece to jodi and jared, this is yalls chance to prove to me that you're really with me and sides don't exist. the ball is in their court do i trust them? no. am I worried? no. i have immunity, the scariest thing rn is that I think Jay is voting Elle, and if Jared and Jodi are with him then that's scary, bc Jared has an idol. The ONLY people I would play my idol for is Amy and Elle, and Elle being in trouble means I might have to play my idol on her if Jay idols himself. We have enough to split, so I'm not worried, I just hope all goes according to plan. sorry my confessional is lame. its the weekend now so i have time uwu. I'll write more the next few days

So this whole token twist thing has really annoyed me. Because of me wanting to show my loyalty to my alliance, i gave away all my coins to Amy so that she could but immunity. And against my wishes, Elle wasted her coins on the “advantage” which turned out to be a dud. I wanted to get coins together to buy game info or better yet, trade coins with other people. But i was left with nothing, while all the people on the other side used their coins to buy advantages in the next immunity challenge making it even harder for me to secure my safety. Maybe this new 2 Gays and a Jared alliance might actually pan out but im tired of getting the short end of the stick with everything.

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Anastasia: She is in the middle of the two sides. They both need her for the rest of this game before a side is terminated. She is the most powerful because she is in the middle.

Jodi: Has regained a lot of her footing in this game. Is being used as a shield by the people who voted her out. The decision to vote out Jay is questionable, but she still has a lot of power thanks to the knowledge Anastasia and Jared feed her.

Colin: The head of the opposing side. Seems to not know what is really going on with Anastasia. But his allies are willing to take him to the end which is good. Needs to avoid falling into a Jodi pitfall.

Amy: Her rat behavior has been exposed, but her allies are still willing to defend her. Second in command on the Colin side. She is being handed these immunities.

Jared: Jodi’s new #1. Will probably make it to the end of this game. However, he isn’t calling the shots and is in danger of being targeted as an “easy” vote or being called a goat at the end. Needs to start taking fate in his own hands.

Elle: Lost a lot of footing because of not telling Anastasia the truth. This move caused Anastasia to go back to Jodi’s side which will hurt in the coming round. Is the next target for the Jodi side.

Jay: Died on the sword for Jodi. I am confused why they didn’t just stack 4 votes somewhere else, but it is whatever. Has basically given up.

Josh: Left out of a lot of discussions. Is on the outside of his alliances and from the opposing side. Is the most in danger of getting targeted or being a casualty of an idol.