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edyacouky · 5 years ago

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Journey to the Past (3/10)

Ok, this chapter was so long to write (my holiday without internet, going back to work etc.) Plus, the way it was wrote at first (Just Jay's point of view like the previous one) just didn't feel right while I was writting and rereading it. So I have to change so I can be proud of it. (;・・;)

I really hope you will like it. Again, english isn't my first language and I don't have beta, so if you see some mistake please tell me so I can progress. Enjoy and have a nice day everyone! (*＾∀゜)

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~*~

Roy never believes he was born lucky. After all, before he was twelve years old, he lost two dads and suddenly become the heir of King Queen.

If not have to worry about what to eat or where to sleep was a good thing, he can’t say he loved being a Prince with all the hypocrisy and the rudeness of the rules of the Court.

It was a lonely life he was living then. Sometimes he meets other kids who understand it. Like Duke Richard, pupil of King Wayne. He tried stay in touch with all of them despite being unable to seeing them regularly, because there is comfort knowing he is not alone.

All this precious letters were put in a box on the workshop that Oliver let him have regardless of what the Court had say about that.

Fortunately, Oliver wasn’t interested in making him a perfect heir and let him do his inventions in peace. He understood that Roy found happiness and freedom with his creation.

But he tried to found them also on alcohol and drugs.

~*~

At fifteen years old, his addiction couldn’t be keeping secret anymore and awkwardly Oliver decided to move Roy away, make him leave the Capital. He wanted to protect him but Roy taken that as abandonment. His addiction problem becomes worst; he started a relationship with an assistant ambassador, Jade Nguyen.

Even at his worst, Roy wasn’t stupid. He knew that, despite her young age, Jade used her position to gain some information for her country. But Roy knew nothing anymore, and he fell hard for her, and in her own way, Jade fell for him too.

So when suddenly Jade realized that she was pregnant, they didn’t know what to do.

They were only eighteen years old, Jade can’t have child with her job, and Roy can’t be a father if his addiction rule his life.

They tried to find a place where Jade could have an abortion. But it was illegal in both of their country and the only place they found did the operation on the kitchen with a coat hanger.

“I will beg Ollie, Roy said after they cried desperate, I will go to rehab, and take care of the child.

-What?

-I’m not stupid, Jade. I know why your job doesn’t want you to have kid.”

Jade cried silently. She was more a weapon than a person for her country. And they will see her child the same way.

When Ollie learned about Roy’s situation he was relieved that Roy found a reason to go to rehab as much that Jade will not stay in the picture.

Too bad Roy had chosen a girl from the West with a possible war between Gotham and 'Eth Alth'eban at the verge.

With the different alliances, if this two countries start a war that would start a World war.

And if that happen and the child looks too much like their mother, Roy and his kid could be perceived as enemy.

Sometimes, as night when Ollie couldn’t sleep, he hoped that Jade’s pregnancy will not end well for the child, but Roy will end clean.

~*~

Nine months later, a little girl born in good health.

Jade insists that she was called Lian even if she won’t see her again anymore. Despite Oliver’s warnings, Roy accepted easily.

During three years, Roy really tried to be thankful for the second chance Ollie gives to him. But each day, he has to deal with the hate and the disregard toward his daughter. It wasn’t only the Council or the Court but also the common folk. It was impossible for his daughter to find any ally among this stupid terrified people.

~*~

Like everyone, suddenly his life takes a turn away with Joker’s attack.

King Queen, Duchess Lance, and he went to the meeting.

Roy still remembers the hope he felt when he saw that the King Wayne sound like a reasonable man, when he heard the little heir, Prince Jason, said his speech. For a moment, Roy truly thought that future will be better.

Roy still remembers the craziness in the eyes of the assailants, of the blood’s odor, of the people he didn’t save, of the fear to never see Lian anymore. For a moment, Roy truly thought he was in hell.

But, ironically, the worst was yet to come.

When they learned the news of the attack, the people of Star City decide to take that as a sign that the war has begun.

At his return, Roy discovered with horror that the Court force Lian’s nurse to leave the Palace to the street of the Capital with his daughter.

Even with Ollie’s rage about what has been done to his great daughter, and the punishment he decided, Roy couldn’t feel safe anymore in Star City and leave at night without a word.

At first, he went to Gotham, he was hoping Duke Richard could help him, and he even foolish hoped that he could persuade the King to not enter in war against 'Eth Alth'eban.

But the Council was as hostile to Lian as the Ollie’s Court was, and the only thing that interested the King was Roy memories about the day of Joker’s attack.

Bruce forced him each day to talk about the horrific day for hours. And if Roy was hoped that Dick would preserve him from his father’s insistence, but he was worst.

While Bruce didn’t say out loud that he blame Roy for leaving Prince Jason alone, Dick keep telling him it was his fault every time Roy didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear.

Eventually, Roy was too tired because of them and afraid of what will happen to his daughter when the war will begin. So despite having no plan, he left as suddenly as he left Star City.

He didn’t know how he could raise his daughter without a home. And if the situation wasn’t precarious enough, during his leaving, he meets another kid, older than Lian. His name was Colin and Roy saved him when some people tried to force him to go with them.

Roy never believes he was born lucky. And the next years prove him right.

~*~

A few months after his leaving, strangely a few days after the wedding of the King Wayne and an officer of his army, Selina Kyle, Gotham and 'Eth Alth'eban start a Cold War.

The little family couldn’t stay too long in one place, no matter how hard Roy was working. Lian wasn’t accepted in East countries and Roy and Colin weren’t in West countries.

While roaming, one day, they found in 'Eth Alth'eban a cottage. Not any cottage. But a cottage construct for the King Wayne probable when he was in relationship with Princess al Ghul.

Which mean they found jewelry, clothes and others things that were worth a little fortune.

Roy resold everything he could as discreetly as he can, but he knew that he couldn’t go to the market without bring too much attention on himself or the children. So, they decided to do a little vegetable garden.

Colin and Lian loved take care of it. Sometimes when seeing them laugh together covered by dirt, Roy almost forget that this situation couldn’t last long. One day or another they will have to leave. Lian and Colin need to go to school, they need access easily to medical care, and Roy need a job to be sure they will never go to sleep with an empty stomach ever again.

~*~

When he heard noise coming from one of the corridor, he panicked.

It’s been a while since he went sold anything to the market, but maybe some thieves or worse find them.

“Go hide. Now.” Roy ordered to his children

Colin obeyed immediately, taking Lian in his arm and went in a closet.

Roy took his bow and arrows ready to fight.

He didn’t know what he was expected but by no means it was a man younger than himself accompanied by a little kid.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?”

He aimed an arrow in their direction.

The young man immediately put himself in front of the kid, forgetting the sheet that fall and the King’s painting that is revealed.

Suddenly Roy forgets how to breathe.

The young man’s face … The last time he saw someone looking so much like that, it was during Joker’s attack.

He still remembers the expression of terror on Prince Jason when he falls. But even if he didn’t, the portrait of the Lost Prince beside the King Wayne would persuade him about the similarity.

The same smart green-blue eyes. The same pointy nose. The same pouty lips. The same untamable curly hair.

This man has clearly the face of his friend’s lost brother. The face of a ghost. A ghost a King is ready to give an important reward to anyone who will bring him back.

Money and gratitude that Roy and his children desperately need.

No.

No. It was not only stupid, but an awful thing to do to the Waynes, who helped him and still mourn an important member of their family. Roy couldn’t do that to them.

But still, Roy couldn’t help but looking the stranger up and down with a clear interest.

~*~

Jay knows that he isn’t too bad looking. Some Talia’s servants have wanted to court him before. Of course, they were interested to being closer to the royal family via Jay, but the way they looked at him prove that they have considered any physical contact with him as a nice bonus.

Never of them was granted permission from Talia, sometimes for Jay’s relief, sometimes for his disappointment.

Still, Jay knows how he looks, and he understands immediately, that this man will want something from him.

So when the redhead man lowers his bow to offer his hand with a big friendly smile, even so neither Jay nor Damian answer his question, Jay is not reassured.

“Hi, I’m Roy.”

Still on guard, Jay accepts his hand.

“I’m Jay. This is my brother Dami.

-Sorry for the welcome. The said Roy said without let Jay’s hand go. I have kids myself here. I wanted make sure you weren’t some kind of dangerous maniac.

-Tt. Don’t see how we prove that. Damian grumbles hated the fact that he is underestimated

-Your brother is cute.”

Jay bite his lips to hide his smile while he tries to hold an angry Damian furiously red and ready to put his knife in this stupid red haired man

“Can I have my hand back now?

-What? Oh! Yes. Of course. Sorry.”

Once his hand drops, Jay looks around distrustful.

“So … Where are the famous kids?

-Come with me, we were ready to eat when you appear. You can join us if you want.”

Making sure that Roy stays in front of them, Jay and Damian suspicious follow him.

“You two are really brother? Roy ask

-Different mothers.” Jay answer easily in the same time Damian said to Roy it wasn’t his business

Curiously, Roy looks disappointed but don’t seem doubt his response.

They arrive to the living room where old mattress and sheet were on the ground around a barrel. Obviously the place where the family, if this Roy didn’t lie about the kids, stay together at night in case of an attack.

“Stay here. Roy said

-Why should we listen to him? Damian growl spiteful

-Because we need to rest and eat before continue our trip.

-Tt. We don’t need him for that. We have our weapon, we could kill him.

-I don’t want to kill someone unnecessarily. Especially, if he is really just a dad.

-It wouldn’t be unnecessarily. We should eliminate him sooner or later. He is a troublesome witness.

-And the kids? You want kill them too?

-If we have too.

-No.

-Tt! Mom is right, you are too soft!

-Guys?”

Jay and Damian look at Roy who is now accompanied by two kids. One boy as old as Damian and one girl younger than them.

“Everything is alright?

-Yes.” Jay answer looking pointy at Damian who silently admit his defeat

Damian may be young, but he realizes how dangerous it would be to show division in front of these strangers.

“Well, Colin, Lian, this is Jay and his little brother Dami. They will eat with us today.”

If Lian accept with pleasure this new friends that will break their isolated and boring lives, Colin looks at them wondering if it is fish, flesh, or fowl.

~*~

As an unexpected turnaround, neither Jay nor Damian would have believed when they leave Azraq Palace, they sit together to eat vegetables on soup.

“Are you two really alone? Colin ask still unsure about them

-Not your business.

-My …! Jason bites his lips when he almost calls Damian Prince. Dami, please.

-It is not their business. Damian persist

-We are alone. Jay answer

-Why are you here?

-Not your …

-Our village was destroyed.

-Tt.

-Damn! Roy said seeming to believe them. What happen?”

This time Damian didn’t even want to say anything. He just grumbles looking like all this situation is Jason’s fault.

“With the war, we are lucky it didn’t happen sooner.

-Oh. Must have been awful.

-Dami and I survived. That’s all that matter.”

Damian sorrowfully think of his mother who may be dead. Killed by his grandfather, and he still doesn’t understand why.

A little voice inside his head keeps whispering he must be because of him. After all, he is not a bastard whose father is his grandfather’s enemy.

But the Cold war only start since four years and Damian is ten years old.

Neither of this previous hours make sense for him.

~*~

Roy seeing the miserable expression of the little kid decide that it’s enough with the question.

“Anyway, if you want sleep here with us tonight, you are welcome.

-Thank y…”

Lian suddenly cough surprising everyone. What seemed benign at first, soon became worrying.

More she coughs, more she worries about breath, more she cries making her breathing more difficult.

“Everything is fine Pumpkins. Roy tries to reassure her hugging her. Just breathes Baby girl. Everything is fine.”

Colin takes Lian’s hand and smiles to her. Jay and Dami looks lost and helpless.

Roy don’t blame them. He is himself helpless.

It’s been a few days now that Lian has terrifying coughing fit. None of West doctor want Roy’s money and none of East doctor want to help a folk of the West. The only who did were charlatan who give him some scented water.

Roy is not doctor, he has no diagnostic, no treatment to give to his daughter to help her.

And each day becomes worse than the previous one.

Slowly but surely, while he hugs desperately his daughter, the thoughts he had when he first saw Jay come back.

He really didn’t want to hurt Bruce and Dick by given false hope about their lost one.

But he is so angry for so many years about how the world think of his daughter, of his family. All of that happen because of the war between Gotham and 'Eth Alth'eban. That’s never of the country has the nerve to actually send soldiers doesn’t mean that they didn’t start a Word war.

After all, seeing things like this, the King Wayne owe him. He owe his children.

King Wayne loves lost kids anyway, even if he realizes Jay isn’t his Lost Prince, he will probably want to take care of him and his brother. Probably.

~*~

When Lian finally feels better, and they finish eating, Roy screws up one’s courage and ask Jay:

“Do you mind talking with me without the kids?”

Jay is grateful by Roy’s subtlety and that he want his price away from the children. But he doesn’t mean that he want to do it.

He tries to stay relax while he nods.

“Stay safe.” He tells to Damian hoping that he will understand that he shouldn’t hesitate to run away or fight without Jay if necessary

Damian doesn’t sound happy to have to stay with the other kids but doesn’t try to persuade Jay to stay with him.

Shockingly, Roy didn’t try to search Damian and Jason or order them to put their weapons away. In fact, he seems to want Jay and Damian feel comfortable with them. And Jay feels comfortable with his weapon on him while he follows Roy away from the heat and light of the fire.

Jay still doesn’t have decided if he should let Roy have his way with him. On the one hand, Roy gives them food even if it was obvious that his children and he need it more than Damian and Jay, and have a hidden place to sleep would be good for them when they will have to continue their flight to Gotham. On the other hand, Jay is not a prostitute and say yes to one thing may be constraining him to many other things.

More Jay thinks about that more he is convinced that he should prove to Roy that he will not have his way with him and couldn’t make them leave.

As Jay takes his weapon ready to fight, Roy ask:

“Do you know who they are?”

They’re in front of the painting Jay wanted to show to Damian.

“This is the King Bruce and the Dead Prince. Jay answer ignoring a new headache

-The Lost Prince. Roy contradicts with a seller smile. The King still search for him.

-It's time for a reason. It’s been what? Three, four years?

-Don’t see why? You look a lot like him.

-I knew my parents. Jay lied. I’m not the Dead Prince.

-Maybe not but you could easily fool anyone.”

Jay frowns at these words and keep the silence before he finally truly understands what Roy means by that.

“You want to use me for the reward. It was for that you were looking me so deeply earlier.

-Oh, I won’t have said I was looking you deeply but … Roy tries to defend himself blushing ferociously

-What’s your plan? Jay asks realized that it could be a chance for Damian and him to go discreetly to Gotham. We go to Gotham, you leave with the reward and a few weeks later my brother and I are at best exiled, if not killed, for make fun of the Royal Family?

-The King will not kill you.

-I will if I was him.

-He won’t. And if they made a mistake it’s on them after all.

-Sure, because rich and powerful people love admit they are wrong. And even if they don’t kill us, the end is the same. You disappear with the reward and my brother and I gain nothing.”

True is if Jay can’t convince the King that Damian is his son, he can prove that Damian is Talia’s son. So they will keep them, at least as political prisoner in relative luxury. So the reward doesn’t mean anything for him, but it will be weird if he doesn’t argue with Roy about that.

“Well, I’m not against give you 2/5 of the reward …

-Only 2/5? You’re kidding me I hope.

-No. I have two children. You only have your brother.

-I know how much the reward is. The half will be more than enough for you three.

-Doesn’t change the fact that I have one person more than you to feed.

-Doesn’t change that it will be my brother and I who have to deal with the Royal Family’s anger when they will realize I am not the Dead Prince.

-The Lost Prince. If we agree in that you really need to change the way you call the Prince.

-So we say 50/50?”

Roy pouts. This man, older than Jay, Roy looks like he is twenty-four years old, truly pouts.

Jay doesn’t really understand how he could have thought this Roy as a menace.

“Ok, fine! Roy finally accepts giving his hand to Jay. Sleep well. Tomorrow we leave for Star City.

-Wait a minute. What?” Jay exclaims holding Roy’s hand

Going to Star City make them a not negligible detour.

“We can’t go to Gotham like that. We’re not the first wanted to fool them for the reward. We need go to someone I know at Star City. If this person support that you could be the Lost Prince, we will easily be accepted by the Court.

-And what it will take to convince this person to help us? Money? I don’t have any.

-No, not money. Just a good acting. If you can convince her that you are the Lost Prince …

-So you can play the innocent and pretend I have fooling you too when the Royal Family will learn that I am not the Dead Prince. Jay notices. You are a really naughty man, Mister Roy.”

Roy blushes at that and try to defend himself.

“I don’t try to trap you! We can talk about everything more in details tomorrow after a good night of sleep.

-My brother and I will sleep in another room.”

If Roy is annoyed by Jay’s reply, he doesn’t show it. When Jay go take Damian to sleep in another room, the two kids and Roy say them good night. Jay reply but Damian ignores them.

After blocking the door, Jay explains to Damian the plan. The little Prince isn’t convinced about the pertinence to follow this nobody homeless, and he isn’t thrilled to have spent time with the kids.

But it’s true no one will search them with a poor family and they can’t tell who Damian is before they meet the King Bruce. So using the identity of a dead man isn’t a bad idea, not a brilliant one but it has to be enough.

This night despite having a goose that lays the golden egg in the room next to him, Roy doesn’t sleep well.

He still feel bad for wanting to fool Bruce and Dick, but he is more worried about what will happen to his children if they still live like that.

Roy never believes he was born lucky, but this time he thinks that life may be decided to gives him a hand.

~*~

They abandon the cottage after breakfast and start they journey together.

Lian and Colin play one of their games “With my little eye I spy” and try making Damian join them. At first, the Prince argues that he is above that, but Colin found the right words to convince him.

“Let him be, Lian. You see that Dami isn’t smart enough to understand our game.

-Tt. Excuse you. Your little game is so stupid even a tree will understand.

-Oh, so you’re afraid that you will lose against us? That’s ok. We will not think less of you if you lose.”

Damian blush furiously with anger at the accusation, especially with Lian who put gently her hand on his arm. And the only way he found to prove Colin wrong is to win and so to participate.

Behind them, Roy and Jay watch with tenderness the kids play together.

Jay doesn’t remember the last time Damian talks to someone of his age. Touching his bracelet, he really hopes this travel will end well for Damian.

“So about the plan, Roy said deciding to finally break the silence between them, I know someone on a village not too far from here you could give us some visa to leave the country by the train.

-I say that before and I will say that again. My brother and I really haven’t money.”

It is really a shame that they escape was so poorly organized.

“Well, I will lend you the money for now. You will pay me back one we will have the reward.

-You really take many risks for something that may fail. Jay notes promises to himself he will find a way to repaid Roy’s kindness if he succeeds bring Damian to safety

-We will succeed. And if we want to fool them all then you need to look less poor

-Less poor?

-Well we couldn’t do much about what we’re wearing. I was talking more about your breeding.”

Jay is so happy he learned how to bite his tongue. The flood of insult he wanted to get out wasn’t something he wants his Prince and the other children to hear.

Talia gave him many instructors, some of them was exclusively to make sure Jay was good breeding. And never, never, Jay gave a reason to be disappointed in him to his instructors and Talia.

So hearing this stupid redhead nobody telling him he looked like he belongs to the lower class, was truly infuriating.

Maybe his Prince was right when he suggest killing him.

“Well I’m listening.

-What?

-Since you seem to know so much about what is good and bad breeding, I can’t wait for your precious advice.

-I didn’t mean to offend you … Roy tries to defend himself

-Gentleman, start your teaching.”

~*~

Not knowing where to start, Roy decide introduce Jay to the family tree of the Wayne. After all, it was something Jason has to learn by heart. Fortunately, it was also something Roy has to know as Oliver’s heir.

“Well let’s start with the beginning. So the actual king of Gotham is Bruce Wayne son of Thomas Wayne and Martha Kane, we will talk about the Kane later, they died when he was nine. A burglar shouts them on Crime Alley.

-A person tries to rob the Royal couple?

-He succeeds. He leaves with some money and the necklace of the Queen.

-That’s all?

-Stupid, right? Especially knowing he was condemned to death when they caught him seventeen years later.

-This Joe Chill was really stupid.

-Oh so read about this story.

-What?

-Well you just said Joe Chill, didn’t you? It’s him who kills the Wayne.”

When all Jay did it is looking perplexed Roy, he clears his throat and proceeds:

“Anyway. So the parents of Thomas Wayne are Patrick Wayne, the King known to have make fortune with all the war he started, Brother of Benjamin, a playboy who give STD to his wife making her sterile and Abigael Wayne, never married and never interested in men for what we know, son of Kenneth Wayne and Laura Elizabeth, and …”

Jay was used to have to stay focus for a long time but while Roy keeps talking about all these persons, he can feel his head starting to hurt. It is a weird sensation. Most of the time it was like a knitting needle try to get out violently to his head. This time, it is like some ants are walking inside his head. It is bearable but really unpalatable.

“Tt. Stop trying to hold my hand! Damian has to yell again at Lian, this little girl is unbearable in a way his patience can’t be enough

-But I want Colin and you to swing me. Lian complains

-Too bad I am not here to obey you.”

Like the Prince Damian of 'Eth Alth'eban will be the servant of a poor baby. It should be the opposite, this people should serve them. Damian don’t understand why Jay accept so easily that this stupid redhead man treat him like he was bad breeding or idiot.

No way, Damian will stoop to that.

“Can’t you be nice?” Colin says

The way this little brat act toward his sister make him so angry. They shared their food, the place where they slept. They even leave a safe place they found after many months of fear because of them.

If the older brother look nice enough, the kid is really insufferable.

“I don’t have to be nice.

-Yeah right. Colin says sarcastically. Being nice is just an elementary rule of society.

-Tt. I’m sure you aren’t used to people being nice to you since the way you live. One person less or more won’t make the difference.

-Oh boy, I truly hope you didn’t mean what you just say.” Colin says becoming red with fury

He is this close to hit this stupid arrogant I-Think-I-Am-Better-Than-Everyone boy.

How can someone who lived in a simply village, who lost almost everything they owed, that doesn’t have money anymore, could be so insupportable.

“What? Are you as stupid your look let guess? Damian answer knowing well that fists will be thrown

-With my little eyes, I see something wet! Lian yells, so they stop whatever they’re doing is

-Is it a puddle? Colin asks after a long moment of silence where he glares meanly at Damian

-No.

-Is it the river? Colin still tries

-No.

-The dew. Damian says without a hesitation

-Yes! You’re really good at this game, Dami. Lian says with more kindness that it is necessary hoping the boys will stop being angry

-An idiot would have found that.” Damian simply answer looking at Colin with a haughty smile

This little …! Colin have eliminated all the others possibilities, of course he found the answer. Scratch that Colin will hit with kid, he will kill him before the end of the day.

~*~

Precipitously, Jay’s headaches become too much to endure. Head in his hands, he has to sit.

“Hey, Jay. Are you alright? Roy ask helping him to sit down

-Stay away from him! Damian intervenes pushing Roy and accusing him. What did you do?

-My … Dami, you know it’s happen sometimes. Jay tries to calm him so he will stop yelling

-Your face wasn’t ever that ugly before.”

Jay would have laugh if even thought about that sound wouldn’t have been a torture.

“The kid is right. You look pretty awful. If it happens a lot don’t you have any medication with you?”

Jay thinks of the essential oil offer by Princess Talia. This was the only thing in the world that could help him.

“It’s lost as the same time we lose our home. It will be fine. I just need some minutes.

-Well, we are just a few minutes from the guy for the visa. Roy thinks at loud. He will want a photo but he has some chair where you could sit. Do you think you can walk a little more?

-He just say he need now some minutes. Are you stupid or deaf? Damian said losing patience

-Oh shut up! Colin said to him before Roy or Jay could answer anything. Stop being a stupid spoiled brat!

-Tt. What did you just say?”

Great the Prince Damian the-only-person-who-say-no-to-me-are-my-mother-and-my-protector just found someone not impressed by him. Jay always hoped that it will happen someday but he doesn’t feel well enough to calm Damian.

“Guys! Enough! Roy says forcing the boys to get distance

-I don’t have to take order from you!

-See! It’s exactly for that you’re a spoiled brat! Things are hard enough; we don’t have to support you.

-Like hell I want to be with you!”

Lian hugs quietly Jay with a big smile.

“It’s help me when Dad did this to me. Does he help you?”

Not really. The headache is still awful and he still worries about Damian.

“It’s help. Thank you.”

Roy takes both of the boys by the arm to take them away from Jason.

“Now listen to me carefully both of you. Both of you. Dami, I understand that you’re worried but for people like Colin and I, it’s dangerous to stay at the sight of all. We need to move quickly. Colin, I need you to be patient for this collaboration. Once you have the visa and Jay feels better, we will discuss your misunderstanding. But not now. Did you both understand?

-Yes. Colin grumbles

-Dami?”

Damian is looking at Jay. He knew till the beginning that this plan is stupid. The fact, that Jay is his only friend he has and now his only family until he meet his father and save his mother, doesn’t help easy his anger toward his Shadow.

Damian is the Prince of 'Eth Alth'eban, he owes nothing to this common folk that doesn’t even belong to his country.

“Dami, did you listen?”

But Jay looks so sick. What if he dies? Damian is not that angry at him.

“Tt! Yes. Damian mumbles

-Good. Now go to apologize to Jay for yelling next to him while his head hurt. Then we will leave.”

If Colin says honestly he was sorry, Damian prefers say:

“Yelling next to you wasn’t a good idea.

-No, it wasn’t.”

The little family though that it wasn’t true apologies, but Jay knows better than them.

“I’m sorry.

-I know. I forgive you.”

It is less than twenty-four hours since all their word was shaken and they lost everything they know. Since they were forced to team up with some homeless stranger to go somewhere unknown where maybe they will have the help they need.

But they feel reassurance when they can understand each other so easily. It reminds them, they can face anything together.

#dc comics #fanfic #anastasia au #jayroy #jason todd #roy harper #damian wayne #colin wilkes #Lian Harper

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benjamingarden · 4 years ago

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This Month On The Farm: July 2020

July's weather was full-on summer complete with heat, humidity, and lots o' sunshine. And surprisingly, a lack of mosquitoes. Hooray for that! We did receive some rain and when we did, oh boy was it a lot.

Tents - Not Just For Camping

As you can see in the photo above, we decided to make use of a couple of our extra craft show tents and set them up on the upper and lower decks. On the upper deck it's wide open, used just for rain cover and shade (Ollie is afraid of the netting walls so we left them off). On the lower deck we used the netting walls and put our outdoor table and chairs inside so we can enjoy eating or sitting outside without bugs attacking. Ollie, as noted, is afraid of the walls but if he's sitting in his tower with me by his side, he deals with it ok.

gutters and rain barrel installed!

Barrels Of Rain

Woo hoo! Jay was able to get the gutters installed on the outbuildings and the rain barrels are up and working. This has been on our "someday" list for years. Years! We've been able to successfully use the barrels to water the garden through most of the month, only needing to resort to our well water a couple of times.

Harvesting

As I've mentioned (probably too many times), our garden is mostly shaded. We receive morning sun over about 70% of it and afternoon sun for a few hours over it all, and it's fully shaded the remainder of the day. And so, our harvesting starts late. Then, of course, we had the infamous whistle pig debacle that set us back a bit but we are now enjoying the fruits of our labor.

Green beans are coming in by the bushel. I know that many people don't enjoy frozen green beans but we do, so I grow enough to enjoy fresh weekly as well as enough to put up in the freezer for winter and springtime eating. I planted 3 types this year: Blue Lake, Red Noodle, and Calima Bush Beans. The Red Noodle are still small and green but this is the first year we've planted them so, fingers crossed, they are delicious.

We finally have tomatoes!!! Well, we finally have ripe tomatoes! We have a ton, I mean TON, of green tomatoes amidst the 25 plants so we will definitely have plenty for fresh eating as well as for oven-drying to freeze for sauce during the winter.

We are also harvesting onions, cabbage, kale, swiss chard, mixed greens, arugula, microgreens, peppers (jalapeno, ancho, and bell), summer squash, zucchini, the last of the peas, beets, blueberries, blackberries, herbs and radish.

our sweet potato hill

Sadly, our pear and asian pear trees did not do well this year. I've ordered new "partners" for them (and the paw paw tree) so our hope is we will be swimming in their fruits in a couple of years! And our whistle pig took out all of our summer broccoli and cauliflower so we won't be harvesting either of those until fall.

At the start of the season I would grab a big bowl from the cupboard and Ollie and I would head to the garden to harvest whatever was ready. One day, as my bowl was so full the veggies were spilling out of it, Jay looked at me and said "you need a bucket or a basket or something". I said "I know. Someone I follow on Instagram just posted a picture of her harvest basket that her husband made. It was nice - metal mesh and wood sides and handle. You're too busy though, so maybe next year." I didn't give it another thought.

Later in the week Jay comes out of his shop holding the PERFECT harvest basket. He had made it in between other projects he was working on. Such a sweet gift!

So now, Ollie and I take our harvest basket with us to the garden on our daily check-in.

looking up one of our mammoth sunflowers

the 2 mammoth sunflowers that survived the whistle pig feast are on the left

Homestead Projects

We have a list of projects that we are hoping to accomplish before fall. We've managed to check off some of the easier projects, but not so much the larger projects. Here's what we're chipping away at:

paint the dining room (done)

stain the back deck (done)

paint the living room

fix columns and lay new flooring on one of the two front porches (second porch will be done next year)

paint 2 sides of the house (same color, just refreshing it - the other 2 sides will be done next year)

install fence around the garden (temporarily done - permanent fencing will be done next spring)

build and install a new outdoor pole light in the front yard

build a small nesting box area/water station for garden (so when the chickens are tasked with the garden fall clean-up, they have a place to lay eggs)

chop and stack wood for the woodstove in the shop (done although we may chop a bit more)

install gutters on the outbuildings and hook-up rain barrels (done)

create a raised bed hoop house for one of our garden beds so we can grow greens through late fall/early winter (done for now - we purchased/found the items needed to make this in fall)

Animals

We are not going to add any more animals to the homestead for now and that includes chickens. The current flock will get smaller, gradually, as the inevitable happens. We had one pass away this week, she was one of the older girls, and we fully anticipate a few more passing this year from old age. It certainly doesn't get any easier to deal with death, but at least we have developed a bit of a plan now, of keeping them safe and comfortable during the process. We also know more about signs, because with chickens, they usually mask illness. This helps us so we can watch closer and try to make sure they are protected.

Death is one of the parts of having animals that is so difficult. Unfortunately, as birds become sick and/or begin the dying process, some of the others can become very cannibalistic. It's not a pretty sight. So once we see that one of the girls isn't feeling well, we are able to remove them, but not totally, from the flock. They are social creatures, so full removal seems to make them stressed and upset. Instead, we make sure they are separated by a fence allowing them to still feel a part of the flock without getting incessantly pecked at and stepped on. And no, we don't let them suffer. If there's any sign of that, and we've done all we can do to make them well, we step in.

Our overall plan is to get out of the egg-selling business and keep a very small flock (6-8 girls). With a flock of 24 girls, it will take some time for the flock to naturally reduce (we're down from the 32 we had last year), so we won't be bringing in any chicks until we have less then 8 girls.

zucchini chocolate chip muffins

What Do You Do With All Of That Zucchini?

Isn't this the question you ask yourself every single year? I always think I have a plan to keep up with it but I struggle by August. I give it a heck of an effort though. Here's what we've been doing with our zucchini:

slicing it lengthwise and grilling it (alternatively, you could broil or bake it). We both love it. Jay sprinkles a bit of parmesan on his and I like mine plain. It's sooooo juicy and delicious.

cutting it into chunks and sautéing it with onions and corn. I add a bit of butter to Jay's and mine is plain. We just love the combination.

stuffing it. As noted in this weekending post (at the bottom), I always enjoy coming up with new stuffing ideas. The key is to bake, boil, or grill the scooped out zucchini halves before you fill and bake them so they are nice and soft once finished.

making our very favorite chocolate zucchini cake. Even my husband who isn't the world's biggest chocolate fan LOVES both versions. The original version is here. The healthier/reduced oil and sugar version is here.

making Kate's recipe for healthier zucchini bread.

making zucchini and chocolate chip muffins. They are ah-mazing! I just realized I've never shared the recipe here. I'll try to get that on the blog!

making zucchini noodles with homemade pesto. Soooo good!

adding zucchini to grilled kebabs. (everything gets marinated in italian dressing first)

adding zucchini to soups such as minestrone.

making zucchini cobbler. (tastes just like apple cobbler)

making veggie stew. I use zucchini and whatever fresh veg is in the garden to make stew as the temps begin to drop in the fall.

I'm not a big fan of eating it raw (there's a weirdness to it) or as zucchini "fries", so those didn't make the list. We've made zucchini pickles in the past but we aren't huge pickle eaters so I haven't been making them.

I'd love to hear your family's favorite ways to eat zucchini!

Oliver, my garden/kitchen/preserving/everything helper

Preserving, Or, What We'll Be Eating This Winter

Since our garden is now in full swing, the preserving process has finally begun!

Green beans - as noted above, they are being put up in the freezer weekly.

Peppers - so far we've only collected enough jalapeno's to preserve, so those have been made into pickled jalapeno rings.

Relish - our cucumbers are struggling this year. I've never had an issue with cukes, so I'm not sure what's happening. So we purchased some cucumbers from the farmer's market and, along with our bell peppers and onions we'll can enough relish for my husband to enjoy with his occasional hot dog lunch.

Zucchini - I did freeze some grated zucchini (portioned into 2 cup servings) that I can add to muffins, quick breads, etc.

Onions - we are drying quite a few and then I'll chop and freeze the remainder.

How do you figure out how much veggies to preserve? This is a question I receive a lot. For us, this is how I plan it. We typically rotate the same dishes all winter long so I can usually predict how often during the week we'll eat veggies such as green beans, broccoli, winter squash, tomato sauce, etc. I then times that by how many weeks we'll need preserved food and that's how I calculate it. So, as an example, I plan on serving green beans twice a week for 28 weeks which means I will need to freeze 56 bags of green beans (bagged in single-serving sizes).

It gets a bit more difficult with carrots, corn, onions, canned chopped tomatoes, and peppers because I use them on their own as well as in many different dishes. Over time, through trial and error, I've made it so I can get pretty close. For the frozen veggies, I flash-freeze them and then store them in large, gallon-size bags, so I can just take out what I need when I'm cooking.

That's July around the homestead!

This Month On The Farm: July 2020 was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

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rxpunzelwrites-blog · 8 years ago

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what my kiddos are doing for valentine’s day!

laura tagged along with lydia and rosy for a lot of the day because she normally spends the day with lydia and felt a little lonely probably. but then she left the two of them to do their own thing and now she’s scotty’s valentine and eating donuts with him.

audrey isn’t even aware it’s valentine’s day. she was probably alarmed by the all the paper hearts in messina then eventually shrugged it off and went to work.

harper spent it with toby of course, and baked him heart shaped cookies and they probably went for lunch with their kiddies! she also baked rhodes a batch as well and kissed him all over his face and told him she loved him no less than thirty times.

reuben had to help bill pick out a valentine’s day gift from tori and suggested that he take her on a ghost tour. whether or not he took that onboard is up to jenny :’) and then reuben pulled himself to dinner and asked daisy on a second date and probably just took her somewhere nice for dinner.

mickey didn’t celebrate valentine’s day because it’s shane’s birthday which is a hundred times more important to him. he saved up his money and bought him a vintage signed photo of gregory peck.

dennis went right ahead and bought bret flowers and they weren’t crumpled this time and he says that he’s only making up for squashing them on their auction date and that he didn’t even know that it was valentine’s day but he said all this with a stupid smile on his face and probably helped with the rosy surprise even though he complained the whole way through it.

alice spent the whole day making out with jay. probably in front of quinn at some point. i am so sorry.

leon sent an anonymous card to freddie because he’s in way over his head. silly boy.

atticus kissed eeeeeeveryone on the cheek today. but finn and reggie and amelia and annie got TWO kisses. he didn’t get anyone any gifts bc he claimed that he is their gift and that they should feel blessed.

wren claimed quinn as her valentine like she usually does. she made him a card like she usually does. and she kissed him like she usually does. later on, she went birdwatching with henry and tried to ignore all the flutters in her tummy.

rosy spent her day with lydia and got the best surprise EVERRRRR. she definitely cried. and then when laura left them alone she demanded that she and lydia cuddle in bed for the whole night and then told lydia that it’s the best valentine’s day she’d ever had. also realised she’s in love with lydia but didn’t say it out loud because she wants to tell bret first and ask if he thinks she should tell her.

wilhelm literally just spent the day with ringo starr. his ankle still hurts so he couldn’t even dance, poor bb.

felix wrote little valentine’s day cards for raegan, hazel and monica and then he sent one to eddie ‘from mallory’. but yeah it’s mostly from him. felix loves valentine’s day oh my gosh.

jack sang love songs all day, i’m not joking. he probably shyly serenaded ivy as well.

justin definitely asked raegan out on a date. and then as a joke he’d pretend he’d asked colton out as well and then he’d pretend to be worried about being double booked and then insist that indy needs to come now as well so there’ an even number. it probably wasn’t even his idea because he’s too dumb for that so raegan is welcome to take the credit.

callum debated asking what scotty was doing and then decided against it and just wished kai a happy valentine’s day through the wall before ultimately just going to work and spending his night on the docks.

brody lmaaaao okay so brody bought hunter a bunch of the saddest looking daffodils in the whole entire world because that was all he could afford. and he left them at her desk and claimed that it was so he could ‘keep up appearances’ oh my god i’ve been waiting to type this all day.

riley received lots of valentine’s cards from his students and took them all home with him and pinned them on his wall after he conferred with barry just to make sure that none of them were serious love letters. he sent monty a card and said he only did so because that’s what the two of them usually do.

sutton probably went to hang out with kara and ollie fully aware that it was valentine’s day but didn’t mention it and if it was brought up he would feign ignorance like ‘oh??? it’s valentine’s day???’

let’s not talk about how greyson is doing today

elsie kept herself to herself even though she contemplated wishing tara a happy valentine’s day but decided against it. angelica probably tried to corner her for a kiss but she ran away.

wardo is the most loved up fucking goober right now. he spent the whole day kissing louis and then dancing with cecily and ivy and was even nice to ulysses. wardo was in the best mood ever today okay.

elliot cooked chicken nuggets for melody and then took her to a monster truck rally. he asked for a kiss from raegan and was probably denied it, but he definitely gave rhodes a big kiss. and he’s super worried about him after the break up.

pace and cece didn’t give each other valentine’s gifts, but pace wished everyone he came across a happy valentine’s day. he filmed a lot of people getting their gifts and even caught a proposal on camera so he’s had a good day living through other people’s happiness.

angelica gave everyone all the kisses including lizzie, bea, jess, seth, katie, carter, cassie, conrad, melody and nearly elsie. basically if you think there’s a chance that angelica would have reason to kiss your oc then she definitely did.

dean spent the day watching finding nemo with mellie and baby hadley :)

joe hooked up with someone he can’t remember the name of. very romantic.

sybil went ghost hunting as usual, possibly with byron and if anyone tried to suggest something about that she’d threaten to curse them.

ella had class but brought hazel cupcakes home for her to decorate. she probably uploaded the footage to her youtube channel.

aaron is spending the day with his girlfriend but let it be known that he text astrid saying, ‘happy valentine’s day, maine x’

harvey was working but as you can see, he’s talking to kenny which means he’s very happy about that.

nathaniel spent the day with will and jane and kissed them both and basically just tried to keep will’s spirits up.

will isn’t doing good right now and he misses alex a lot and he feels edgy and anxious but he spent time with nathaniel and jane anyway bc he knew it would make nate happy.

dixie was working but when she saw séamus in the lobby, she definitely wished him a happy valentine’s day and then spent the rest of her shift blushing about it. also her momma made a sculpture in her pottery class and ‘in the spirit’ of valentine’s, she gave it to mr croft. innocently, of course, but dixie knows better and wasted no time in telling cassie and david.

cecily spent her day playing with apollo and smiling and giggling at wardo and louis. she let wardo dance with her and she hugged ivy and after some encouragement from her brother, she got brave enough to kiss louis on the cheek and wish him a happy valentine’s day before all the excitement got a bit too much for her and she scurried off to the museum. but then she saw david and got all frazzled again :’)

levi IS GOING ON A SORT-OF DATE WITH AMELIA AND THAT’S THAT ON THAT.

dustin is making fun of all his students’ valentines. because he’s a dick.

diego probably isn’t doing a lot bc when is he ever but i like to think he enlisted caroline’s help to draw a picture of a butterfly so he could give it to cedric.

chase is getting high af and hooking up with whoever wants him. mess.

max is having the time of her fricking life and sent valentine’s to practically all of messina. she’s wearing heart themed everything today and her muse is through the roof so she’s probably planned like six new novels and she’s LIVING. and she’s asking after everyone else’s valentines and how they’re going and fangirling over all the cute things.

holly walked into a novel idea. glared at katie. left.

benji probably got another kiss of david because i say so that’s why.

jutta has no valentine but she plans to find one when she goes out clubbing tonight so really she’ll be fine.

taylor sent valentine’s to both darren and ronnie from BOTH her and james because she knew james wanted to but wasn’t brave enough, and it also helped her feel less guilty about everything that’s happened between her and the boys lately.

bennett got piss drunk then found some randomer to sleep with so he can forget about calvin and hero.

kit is in a surprisingly good mood today. simon gave her chocolates which she didn’t eat, but gave them to cody instead. then she baked cakes for daisy, simon, lo and beau. she was probably super shy about giving lo one but again, she’s in a good mood, she got over herself and did it.

simon woke up feeling sad but he still went into work and bravely wished billy a happy valentine’s day AS A FRIEND before saying the same to everyone else in a novel idea. then he went home and gave chocolate to kit and beau to be a gentleman.

evie demanded that jax be her valentine because she knew he hasn’t quite managed to work up the courage to ask ronan out and ronan remains oblivious.

oz gave out free candy to everyone and tried not to be sad when daisy told him she was going on a date with reuben so there’s that.

caroline heard that amelia and cassie were both otherwise preoccupied but decided that was okay because she woke up and tackled jason and gave him a big kiss on the cheek as well as a card that says ‘i love you to infinity and beyond’. she also bumped into gabe and pretended to not know it was valentine’s day pls just give me this.

mellie is probs very anti-valetine’s day right now. she’s avoiding che and probably pouted if indy did end up giving into justin and going out, so she watched finding nemo with dean instead.

ronan was working and being oblivious about jax and i hate him for it. he probably spent what free time he had attempting to find a date for his cousin, abel.

alfie baked all his friends a heart shaped pie and gave them all kisses even though he’s a little bi awkward around scotty rn because he’s not sure if he’s allowed to kiss his cheek anymore, but his spirits were up anyway!

emma was on set and i’m sure that drew did something charming so there’s that :’)

ellis arranged so many flower bouquets today and you can bet your goddamn ass she went to pick clara up at school and gave one to barry whether he liked it or not. she also graciously camped out in calvin’s room in order to give rory the space should he bring someone home :’) and because of that she probably bulled calvin into letting her braid his hair.

seth spent the day with all of his friend - not just katie. he gave all of his friend a valentine’s day hug - not just katie. he went out at night with all of his friends - not just katie. AND YES HE’S SURE HE STARED LONGINGLY AT /ALL/ OF HIS FRIENDS NOT JUST KATIE, THANKS VERY MUCH.

noah literally spent the whole of rehearsal belting every single iconic broadway love song at isaac just to get a reaction from him.

conrad was bullied by anya into wishing lizzie a happy valentine’s day. he’s going to be embarrassed about this for the next three months.

carter as we know was cassie’s valentine and the two of them shared alllll the candy and chocolate together. and then he met teddy and let a stranger hug him and that’s very important for him. also, he pined over jess. as per.

kevin WAS SNAKED BY CARTER FUCKING HEFFRON. he’s v displeased and pouted at katie for being the mastermind behind the whole thing.

piper probably took a selfie with hunter and sent it to brody saying that she was stealing his valentine.

robbie spent it with blair and was appalled when jimmy showed up to ask if he could take blair out because EXCUSE ME CATTLE MAN THAT’S MY VALENTINE AND I NEED TO MAKE ALL THE MEMORIES WITH HER. so my headcanon is that he obnoxiously tagged along.

beau got cakes from kit and chocolate from simon and bought lo a big tub of marshmallows :) she’s not really up for celebrating though after her break up.

bailey sent all of her sisters gifts and then went to the stables so she could assist couples going on valentine treks together. she briefly contemplated how lonely single life can be but swiftly got over it.

adam definitely gave mack a card and a teddy literally just to piss off roy because he’s awful.

sawyer was in the ER and probably walked in on bennett and someone on the on-call room and is scarred for life. she debated going to see lux but then realised caleb might be working and decided against it.

micah spent the day at home with jd. he feels bad about not really checking on greyson but he knows he doesn’t treat jd the way he should or spend that much time with him on a good day and he wants to make that up to him on the national day of romance.

foster was working and probably received an inappropriate valentine’s from one of his students that probably left him close to tears because NO THIS IS WRONG WHY CAN’T I JUST HAVE AN EASY LIFE. he probably debated shoving himself back in the janitor’s closet before ultimately deciding to hide away at lunch time and share his babybel with ryke.

jimmy decided to ask out blair for the day and then realised that meant robbie would be tagging along. he was only a little annoyed.

#valentine's day;

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pisati · 6 years ago

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it really hit me last night that I’m going to lose fitzie soon. he’s been struggling with muscle weakness in his back legs, but I’ve found it extending to his front legs too. I want to say muscles in general; even his licks have been gentler.

he hasn’t tried to climb the platforms in the cage in days. I don’t hear him thumping much anymore. I put a food bowl and water bottle at the bottom for him a few weeks ago, and he knows at least that he has them there. he tries to climb out of the cage but gets his feet stuck between the bars, and so I lift him out and hold him for a minute before he starts trying to wiggle away from me. then I lift him under his belly and set him on the floor with his back feet squarely under him. and then he tries to walk.

his back feet curl under him and often his back half falls to one side. he’ll kick his legs and sometimes catch enough of the carpet to push himself forward while he pulls with his arms. he can’t lift his legs high enough to really step over anything anymore, including his own toes, but that doesn’t stop him from trying.

last night he really listed, though. all the way to one side, almost fell over. it hit me so hard. at the rate this is going, I probably have 1 to 3 months tops left with him. soon I’m going to have to make the call.

it was so hard taking marty and jay in for their last appointments. having a date is the worst kind of morbid countdown. there’s this feeling like you could still have more time. I picked a date, but why couldn’t it be the next day? getting to hold them while they’re sedated is nice, but every second that goes by just... goes by. I’ve had to take three pets home in boxes and it’s never a good feeling.

but it was objectively worse losing frankie and scottie so suddenly. frankie wasn’t supposed to die on the table. I remember trying not to look shell-shocked as I carried his little box out of the exam room and into the waiting room at the vet’s; feeling the stares. 6 weeks later scottie’s heart failed.

I was just thinking about that this morning. it’s been almost a year since I lost scottie. I remember giving them dinner scraps. we’d had kasha that night, and they were all so excited. scottie was already waiting on the platform where I usually put the bowl with dinner scraps. I went upstairs to take a shower, and I came back down in the towel wrap I have with the elastic at the top. I sat on my bed on my computer for a few minutes, and then I heard a cough across the room. but not a normal cough; the sound you don’t want to hear coming out of an animal. I went over and nothing looked amiss, but when I shook the yogurt raisin container, scottie didn’t move in his hammock. I reached in to pick him up and my stomach dropped when I felt how limp he was. no. no. scottie. no. since fitzie had just been choking on some food a few days earlier I thought he might have been choking too, so I tried to do the rat heimlich. nothing. I laid him on his back and did a few little chest compressions. nothing.

I grabbed him up and sprinted down the stairs, still in my towel. MOM. scottie’s not breathing, I remember sobbing. she looked up what to do, and I set him on the table and tried more chest compressions. you’re supposed to blow air in through their nose. I remember feeling his little teeth on my lips, and normally that would gross me out, but I didn’t care.

I realized that was it. there was nothing I could do.

I remember standing there, holding his limp body, just shaking and crying. and mom, true to form, tried to that’s just life, honey, we have to move on. I couldn’t even believe she was being that insensitive when my pet had just died in my hands not a few minutes before. she apologized later, but it still stings.

I remember coming back upstairs and calling A. I’d tried to call him from the vet’s office after frankie died but he didn’t answer. I rarely call him; usually if I do at all it’s because one of us is driving and letting the other know our ETA. he was at a friend’s house; the friend told me, after I’d posted on facebook about it, that he’d immediately gotten up and gone outside to talk to me, and she wondered what was going on. I don’t remember what I said to him. I know I told him what my mom said. I was just in shock. I’d laid scottie down on my bed next to me and I was just petting him. I didn’t know what to do. I calmed down after a while though. it was just nice having someone to talk to who understood.

I brought scottie back downstairs and started making salt dough. my vets took clay impressions of marty, jay, and frankie’s feet, since they all passed while in the office, but I was at home. I didn’t have any clay. I made up some salt dough and took impressions of his feet and tail. I baked it carefully, but it still got a crack down the middle. I got ink prints of his feet too. I took a clipping of his fur, because I’d forgotten to do it before I put frankie in the freezer and the man at the cremation place couldn’t get much for me.

I don’t think I made an appointment with the cremation place. I just showed up. the man there was so kind about frankie. I remember he’d said “now I hope it’s not any time soon, but the next one is on me”. and there I was, 6 weeks later. I didn’t mention it, but he kept his word. I didn’t have to pay for scottie. he recognized me (though I’d just gotten my hair cut short), and felt so awful that I was back so soon with another. I showed him some pictures of my three boys together and he said how sweet they were. when I picked scottie’s ashes up he asked me to check over the label he was going to print for the wooden box urn to make sure he’d spelled it right. he added little hearts on either side of his name. I can’t imagine being in his line of work, but I’m so glad he’s there.

I’m not ready to lose fitzie too, but is anyone ever ready to lose a pet? I’m just glad he made it to 2. he might even get to 2 and a half, if we can make it 2 more months. he’s an old man, and after jay and frankie and scottie and even fitzie’s scare last summer, I’m grateful when I can get any rat to make it to old age. so much can happen in such a short time.

the heartbreak is worth it, though. some people ask me how I can take losing so many pets I love so much; how I deal with only having them for such a short time. it’s not easy, by any means. frankie was only 14 months old and he was so sweet. a literal angel. it shattered my heart to lose him. I was inconsolable for weeks. I almost didn’t adopt ollie. I remember being excited to take him home, but it felt hollow too. I wanted to stop taking them in. let scottie and fitzie and louie and ollie get old and pass on and let that be it. but I can’t stop. not many people care for rats, and too many rats need loving homes. I definitely have the capacity to give them the best lives I can, however short. it’s heartbreaking when they go, sure. but while they were here they got yogurt treats, banana, dinner scraps, chew toys, soft hammocks, boxes to hide in, cuddles, companionship with other rats, medical care... how much better can it get? what more can I do for them?

sometimes it does feel like I could have done more. but... I guess you just have to accept sometimes that The Best isn’t always possible. I’m doing my best. my rats are happy and as healthy as I can get them. and their life spans are so short that I can improve the lives of many, many rats. and that makes it worth it.

#breaking: weird rat girl gets sentimental about rats

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benjamingarden · 4 years ago

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This Month On The Farm: July 2020

Tents - Not Just For Camping

gutters and rain barrel installed!

Barrels Of Rain

Harvesting

our sweet potato hill

Later in the week Jay comes out of his shop holding the PERFECT harvest basket. He had made it in between other projects he was working on. Such a sweet gift!

So now, Ollie and I take our harvest basket with us to the garden on our daily check-in.

looking up one of our mammoth sunflowers