#olivia benson x fem reader

[svuobsessed]

Olivia Benson X Fem Reader

I've been obsessed with Law and Order SVU for ages and only now I'm making this for Olivia.

She's so pretty I'm so Gay for Olivia Benson!

Summary: After a long tiring case Olivias girlfriend comes to the station to take her home and ends up meeting the team.

Third person pov...

Olivia Benson, the detective at the Special Victims Unit (SVU), had just finished a long and tiring case.

She and her Team had spent the entire week at the station, poring over evidence, interviewing suspects, and ultimately solving the heinous crime. Olivia was exhausted and couldn't wait to go home and relax.

As she was packing up her things, her phone buzzed. It was her girlfriend, Y/N, checking in on her.

Babe <3

Hey finished work, want a lift home?

Liv smiles down at her phone, ignoring the raised eyebrow Elliot sent her way she began texting back.

Sure, jsut finished myself

Great, see you soon <3

Y/N was a doctor and often worked long hours as well, but she always made time for Olivia, especially when she knew her partner had a difficult case.

As she packed up Olivia's mind replayed the horrifying details of the case she just solved. As a detective in the SVU, Olivia dealt with some of the most disturbing and heartbreaking cases.

It took a toll on her mental and emotional well-being, but she never let it show. Olivia was a strong and resilient woman, and she was grateful to have such a wonderful and supportive girlfriend.

Just as she was about to leave, Y/Ns familiar face appeared at the doorway of the SVU bullpen, Olivia's tired eyes lit up at the sight of her girlfriend.

"Y/N!" She exclaimed, the H/C woman smiled at how happy she was to see her, the woman shared a hug and quick kiss, as the broke away the rest of the team were staring.

Blushing Olivia dragged Y/N closer to her team. "Everyone, this is Y/N, My amazing girlfriend" Olivia said with a proud smile.

The team were surprised that she had a girlfriend Fin spoke first. "Happy for you baby girl" he said pulling Liv in for a hug and kissing her temple, Munch gave his support as well as Cragen.

After a getting to know everyone Liv pulls away from the group to finish packing up her things, as she does Elliot pulls Y/N aside.

Crossing his arms and squaring his shoudlers he looks at the shorter woman. "You love her right?" He questions her, Y/N looks at the man then at Liv a smile on her face.

Looking the Detective in his eyed shed nods. "Yes I do I love her, she's my rock and I'm hers" she tells him seriously.

Satisfied Elliot smiles and pats her shoudler, Liv then walks over bag in hand as the man leaves, raising a perfect eyebrow at him. "What did he want?" She askes her girlfriend.

Y/N takes her bag and holds her hand. "Nothing much, let's go home" they left the building and walked hand in hand to Y/Ns car, ready to leave the chaos of the station behind.

As they drove home, Olivia finally allowed herself to relax and talk about the case with Y/N She shared the gruesome details and the satisfaction of finally bringing closure to the victim's family.

Y/Nlistened intently, providing a comforting presence for Olivia.

When they arrived home, Y/N had a hot bath ready for Olivia, knowing how mentally exhausting her job could be.

As Olivia soaked in the tub, Y/N prepared a cozy dinner for them, and they spent the rest of the evening cuddled up on the couch, watching their favorite movie.

Y/N presence was like a healing balm for Olivia after a long day at work. She knew how to take care of her partner, both physically and emotionally.

As they drifted off to sleep that night, Olivia couldn't help but feel grateful for Y/N love and support. She knew she couldn't do what she did without her by her side.

The next day, as Olivia returned to work, her colleagues noticed a change in her demeanor. She was more at ease, and there was a glint of happiness in her eyes.

They all knew that it was because of Y/N and they were grateful to have finally met the person who brought such joy to their dear friend and colleague.

the end!

Hope you liked this oneshot for Olivia, i plan to write more of these oneshots.

Requests are open!

Word count: 790

[spicybleach]

Um can I get more Captain Olivia Benson Smuts???!

LIKE!??? it’s actually criminal there’s not more. DOMINATE OLIVIA BENSON PLZ I BEG

[spicybleach]

Petition to start paying my fellow writers to put out fan fictions. Writing is some people’s life and they rely on it to make a living. We all go through it mentally and need breaks, people who demand any type of fic just give me the ick. Y’all boycotted Netflix and any network that pushed your fave shows months ago, where’s that energy for the other writers like here on Tumblr, Archive of Our Own, Wattpad and any other site people use to put their work out there????

I don’t care if this comes off as cruel but you are not entitled to fanfiction. You are not entitled to podfics. You are not entitled to translated works.

Creators are not paid to make fanworks. People spend years of their lives writing fic and getting nothing in return except positive interactions. You can ask to make a translation. You can ask to make a pod fic. But you cannot demand it.

And because the only thing fanfic writers get in return for their work is positive feedback, taking away an authors ability to receive that is disgusting. Authors deserve to have full control and ownership of their works.

Fanfic isn’t a product to consume and then demand more of. Authors and creators deserve better.

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Hey could I get an Angsty fic with wife Olivia Benson/Emily Prentiss (which ever you want) where the reader is a detective/profiler and gets hurt badly and Emily/olivia are the ones to find them and they have to keep them awake until the paramedics get there?

You can pick the injury

Hey @yanginginthere! 😊 It's been a minute since I wrote for Olivia, so that's what I did here! Hope you enjoy! –illdowhatiwantthanks

Eyes Open

Olivia Benson x fem!reader Warnings: MAJOR BIG HUGE WARNINGS for gun violence/school shootings, blood, death, etc., medical emergencies, near-death situation, hospitals, explicit language (let me know if I've missed anything!) Word count: 2.0k

Summary: When the rest of the squad is hesitant to enter the scene of a school shooting, you make one of the rashest decisions of your life--one you might not come back from. Your wife, Olivia, races to get to you in time.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, you thought as you watched blood pour from your abdomen. You were on the ground before you knew what was happening, before you could evaluate the situation. You pressed your hands over the gunshot wound, trying not to think about how much blood was seeping between your fingers.

You glanced around the room, panicked, nearly sick to your stomach. The racetrack rug, the little cubbies, the bodies. You wretched and vomited before collapsing onto your back. Your partner, Mendoza, lay on the opposite side of the room, pale, wide-eyed, still. Dead. He was dead. You swallowed back tears. Now was not the time to cry.

The shooter’s blood had sprayed across the bookshelves when you shot him. You couldn’t get close enough to feel for a pulse, but he wasn’t moving. So he was at least incapacitated. What you needed was to call for backup, to get the rest of the cowards from the NYPD–the ones who sat outside to wait for backup while you could hear children screaming–to get their asses in here and help. You and Mendoza had gone in against orders, had ignored a direct command from a superior officer to wait for backup. And, god knows, you’d both paid for it, but if even one child made it out that wouldn’t have otherwise, it would be worth it.

You felt for your radio at your side and groaned when you realized it had been shot by the same bullet that was now lodged inside of you. Your vision was starting to grow fuzzy; it was only a matter of time until you passed out. And who knew how long until backup finally decided to enter the elementary school?

You heard movement and jerked your head to the side to see the very top of a small head poking out from the supply closet.

“Hey!” you shouted, crying out in relief. The child shrank back, and you called, “No, no, no, it’s okay! It’s okay. I know it’s scary. It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m a police officer. I’m here to help you. That man with the gun, he can’t hurt you anymore. But I need your help. Do you think you could come out here and help me?”

The boy poked his head out again, a little bit farther, and you could see that his face was tear-stained, covered in snot. Your heart broke for him. You wanted to cry. You hated to traumatize him further, but you also knew that if you didn’t get backup and EMTs in here as soon as possible, more people were going to lose their lives–including you.

“Hi, honey,” you said as he stared at you, wide-eyed. “My name’s Y/N. What’s yours?”

He sucked in a breath, then shakily replied, “Arturo.”

You nodded. “Arturo. That’s a nice name. You’re being really brave, sweetheart. Is there anyone else in there with you?”

He nodded his head.

“How many people?”

Arturo held up five fingers.

“Five?” you asked, trying to focus your eyes.

He nodded.

“Are there any grown-ups?”

His face screwed up, like he was about to cry, and he shook his head.

“Okay, honey. That’s okay. Listen. Arturo, we need to call for help so the other police officers and the ambulance drivers can get in here and help everybody. Okay?”

He didn’t respond. You pointed to your busted radio. “My walkie talkie broke, but my partner’s should still work. He’s right over there… just–” You shuddered. God, you were having a child grab a device from a dead body. This poor kid. All these poor kids. But you didn’t know what else to do. “Just don’t look at his face or anything,” you told him. “The walkie talkie on his belt, that’s what we need. Can you do that for me, Arturo?”

He shook as he stood, and you could tell he’d wet himself in fear. Tears sprang to your eyes as you watched him wobble toward Mendoza’s body. “You’ve already been so brave, buddy, I just need you to be brave a little bit longer.”

You closed your eyes briefly, trying to fight the dizziness that swam inside your head.

“It’s stuck,” Arturo whimpered, and you snapped your eyes open.

“Okay, buddy,” you said, wracking your brain for a solution. “That’s alright. Umm… there’s a little button on the side, do you see that?”

Arturo nodded, his fingers wet with Mendoza’s blood.

“Alright, just press the button and hold it down, and then repeat what I say. Okay, Arturo?”

“Okay,” he whimpered, holding his little hand against the radio.

You exhaled sharply, as the pain in your abdomen surged. “Say, This is Officer Y/L/N.”

He repeated it, looking at you with wide, scared eyes.

“Badge number 11227.”

You gulped as your vision blurred, trying to be as concise as possible.

“Shooter is down. Officers down. Requesting immediate backup and medical assistance.”

You could feel your body falling out of consciousness, could hear Arturo talking to the other officers through the radio, but it was far away, as if you were in a tunnel.

“Please help,” he cried, fresh tears running down his cheeks. “She’s not talking anymore.”

The last thought you had before blacking out was that your wife would kill you if you died.

“Clear!” Olivia shouted, moving from classroom to classroom at PS 717, gun at the ready. The rest of the officers stopped as needed to help evacuate children and school staff, to give first aid as needed, but she and Elliot were single-minded. They had one job, and she had insisted it be theirs as the NYPD prepared to enter the scene: find the shooter and confirm that he was down.

The last person they had heard from was you. Well, a little boy who had your name and badge number and said all the right things and, therefore, was presumably with you. She was furious with you, furious that you’d gone in without backup, furious that you were so goddamned good and brave, that you would be willing to sacrifice your life for these kids, even though it was one of the things she loved most about you. And, truthfully, underneath all that fury was just plain fear. Absolute terror. Where were you?! Obviously you were hurt if you couldn’t call in yourself. And, from the sound of it, it had been you who took down the shooter.

“Liv!” Elliot yelled from a classroom down, and she sprinted toward him, her heart in her throat. Elliot was already on the radio: “We need medical here stat! East wing of the school, fourth classroom on the right. We’ve got two officers down, shooter down, multiple civilian casualties.”

Olivia burst into the classroom, her eyes quickly taking in the damage: Mendoza down, shooter down, kids crying in the corner, civilians down, and you. Her heart was in her throat as she holstered her gun and dropped to your side.

“No, no, no, baby,” she cried, cradling your limp head and feeling for a pulse. “Stay with me, sweetheart. You are too damn stubborn to go out like this.” Your pulse was thready and weak, as was your breath. She brushed your hair out of your face, trying hard to keep herself breathing, to not fall apart, not yet. She smacked you lightly on the face until you coughed and blinked your eyes open.

Olivia let out a sob of relief and caressed your face, pressing her free hand on top of yours to stifle your bleeding.

“Liv?” you groaned. Then weakly pointed in the direction of the shooter. “Is he…”

“He’s down, baby, he’s dead. You got him.”

You coughed again and winced, your body shaking with cold or trauma or both. “Arturo?” you asked, glancing around for him.

“The little boy?” she clarified. You nodded. “He’s safe, he’s okay. He’s with Elliot.”

Your body started to shake more violently and it was if, finally, the terror of the day had caught up with you. Tears streamed down your face. Your skin was clammy and your breath came in short huffs. You weren’t stupid. You knew what they meant, all the signs in your body: hypovolemic shock. You’d lost too much blood. You were dying.

You’d like to say that, in what you assumed were your dying moments, your life flashed before your eyes, that you thought of everything you’d experienced and everything you’d not yet been able to. But, honestly, you were just scared. And sad to leave Olivia.

“I love you,” you choked out as your eyelids fluttered between open and shut.

“No, no,” Olivia protested, grasping your face in her hands. “Don’t you fucking say goodbye to me, Y/N. This is not fucking goodbye! You keep your eyes open, Officer. That’s a direct order!”

And you really did try. You really did fight to keep Olivia’s face in front of you, her terrified, tear-stained face. You just couldn’t bear to leave her, not like this.

When you finally lost consciousness, Olivia yelling your name was the last thing you heard.

You woke up god knows how much later in a hospital bed, with several wires attached to you and an ungodly amount of pain in your abdomen, not to mention a mouth so dry it felt like your tongue had been left to dehydrate.

Before you knew what was happening, Olivia’s lips were on yours, her hands grasping the side of your face so tightly you thought there was a good chance she might never let you go.

“You fucking asshole,” she cried, her tears wet against your skin. “You almost died!”

She kissed you a few more times for good measure, then leaned back to look at you, your own tears streaming now. She sniffled and wiped your eyes, smiling even as she cried. “Why do you have to be so goddamned brave, huh?”

You shrugged, then winced. “No, no, don’t move!” she exclaimed. “Just… let yourself rest, okay?” She shook her head. “You really scared me.”

“I’m sorry, love,” you croaked out. You blinked tears away and looked at the ceiling, trying hard to banish the mental images of Mendoza, of the blood, of the civilians. “I just… I couldn’t…”

“I know,” she said, taking your hand. “I would’ve done the same thing.”

You coughed and frowned at her. “You better fucking not.”

She pointed to the table next to your hospital bed, stacked with cards and flowers. “You’ve got quite a lot of fans now.”

You shook your head. You didn’t deserve fans. If anyone deserved the recognition, it was Mendoza. You tried not to think of him, knew you’d start crying if you did.

“Here,” Olivia said, holding out a folded sheet of paper. “Read this one. It’s good.”

There was a stick-figure drawing of you as a superhero and a messy, misspelled note:

Dear Ofiser Y/L/N, thak you so much for helpig me be brav and for gettig the bad gy. Yor my heero. Arturo Guerrero.

Your eyes were swimming by the time you finished reading it. You should be the one thanking him.

“The NYPD’s giving you a Medal of Honor, too, when you’re well enough. You’re a hero, honey,” Olivia said, tracing your cheekbone with her thumb. “A dumb, brave idiot of a hero. But my hero, all the same.”

You didn’t know how you felt about this hero business, didn’t feel like you deserved it. You’d just done your job. And your job required a bit more of you this time around.

“Liv,” you ventured, uncomfortable.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Please don’t call me that.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “A hero?”

You nodded.

“What should we call you then?”

You smiled wryly. “Just Y/N.”

Olivia leaned forward to brush your hair out of your face, staring lovingly at you. “How about love of my life?”

You smiled and squeezed her hand. “Yeah. That’ll do.”

[naturesapphic]

I’d love an angst/comfort filled Olivia Benson x reader if you’re willing!

Olivia pulls reader into her office after noticing she’s been a little off, distant and disengaged with the rest of the squad. Reader reluctantly opens up on an incident from a couple of days prior, at a school reunion. (Incident being someone made unwanted advancement at reader, groping her and making her touch them.) She tells Olivia nothing more happened because she finally broke free and left. She starts crying from all the overwhelming emotions and Olivia reminds her she did nothing wrong and is there for her.

High School Reunion

Olivia benson x fem!reader

Warnings: groping, little bit of SA, Olivia being a protective sweetheart

Olivia knows you. Too well to be exact. You are her best detective and her partner. She knows you inside and out and knows that something isn’t right. You’ve been distant and quiet from everyone, especially her. She wants to give you your space but ever since you’ve been back from your high school reunion it’s been like you’ve completely changed into a different person. “Y/n? Can you come inside my office for a second please?” She called out for you.

You slowly got up from your desk and walked over to her. She gave you a loving look and helped you inside as she shut the door. She motioned for you to sit on the couch and she followed behind, sitting close to you but not too close since she wants to give you some space. “What’s been going on? You’ve been distracted and barley been focusing. You know you can tell me anything.” She gently asked you and your eyes fill up with tears. You didn’t mean for all this to happen. You were trying to stay normal about it but of course your boss/girlfriend would know something was up.

She’s a captain and before that she was a detective! You couldn’t hide anything from her. Olivia noticed how your eyes filled up with tears and she felt her heart drop. She didn’t understand what happened but she was going to figure out soon. “You know you can tell me anything y/n/n…” she said as she gently grabs your hands in hers and gives you a reassuring look. You take a deep breath in and you start to tell her what happened.

~ flashback ~

Today you were going to your high school reunion. You let liv know about where you were going as she let you get off work since there was no new cases to worry about. You were a bit hesitant to go without her but you knew she had a bunch of paperwork to do so hopefully in the next one she could make it.

Walking into your old high school felt so weird. You couldn’t believe ten years has past by so quickly but at the same time you could. You saw some of your old classmates and friends and went over to them to mingle. After awhile you felt a presence staring at you from afar. You turned around and saw that a boy from your school was eyeing you up and down.

You knew that years ago that he had a big crush on you but he never made any attempts to do anything about it but honestly you were glad he didn’t. You always got a bad feeling from him and you still do now. Feeling uncomfortable, you tell your friends you are going to head to the bathroom right quick. You head inside the ladies room and splash some water on your face.

You hear the bathroom door open and assume it’s one of your friends checking on you but it’s the boy from earlier. You felt your whole body freeze up as he comes closer. You can see him talking but you don’t hear anything besides the beating of your own heart thumping in your ears. He comes up behind you and starts groping your everywhere and make unwanted advances and movements towards you.

You felt so disgusted but yet your body still wouldn’t let you move. You felt his hand grab yours and you look down to where he was going and your eyes widen. You snatched your hand away and turn around to slam your foot against his balls. He screams out and falls to his knees, grabbing his area while you flee out of the bathroom.

You didn’t tell your friends or teachers goodbye as you run out of there as fast as you could. What would the squad think of you? What would Olivia think? Will she leave you? You couldn’t think straight as you ran towards your car and drive home.

~ flashback over ~

“Nothing more happened before I broke free, but that’s what happened…I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner!” You say as you start crying hysterically. Olivia pulls you into her strong comforting arms and holds you close. “Hey hey shhhh…you did nothing wrong babygirl…I’m so proud of you.” Olivia whispers against your ear. “You have nothing to be ashamed about princess…” she spoke again and you nod against her as your cries turn into little sniffles.

You raise your head up and look into her eyes. She flashes you a small but reassuring smile that everything will be alright. Finn opens the door and his eyes widens at the scene of your red teary face and the look of anger in Olivia’s eyes. “Everything alright?” Finn asks as he looks between the two of you. “We’re fine. Just another case we have to do.” Olivia states as she pulls you closer to her side and gives Finn a little nod that he understands and recuperates.

Finn closes the door and Olivia puts her attention and focus back on you. “We are going to find and get this guy I promise my love. No one hurts you and gets away with it.” She says with a hint of sternness in her voice but not directed towards you. Never. You nod and snuggle in closer to her, you knew that y’all have loads of paperwork to do but those will be done later. Right now, Olivia will hold you however long you want. She will always be there for you, every step of the way.

A/n: thank you for this request anon and I hope you like it! And I hope the rest of y’all enjoy it too! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all!

[cabotwife]

Look After You

Olivia Benson x gn!teen!reader warnings:mentions of sh and depression,ooc Olivia(?) word count:1031 a/n:writing this was harder than i thought itd be. i, personally, have never been in a situation like this so i apologize if it is unrealistic. a/n2:no matter what it feels like, you are not alone. somebody will always care for you, you mean something. harming yourself is never the answer even if it feels like the only way to cope at the time. i am here if you truly believe that nobody cares, bc i care and my dms r open. prompt:request from anon: Hiiii I was wondering if u could do Olivia benson x teen reader where reader is struggling w sh and Olivia comforts her (if your not comfortable w it I understand)

—

Olivia's sigh is barely noticeable, an involuntary exhale that speaks louder than any voice could. Each step is deliberate, weighed down by the burden of her case. Her key slides into the lock with a quiet click, the door opening with a soft creak.

The apartment, usually a haven of solace, feels heavy with a palpable weight. As she steps inside, the door closes softly behind her, shutting out the noise from the busy street outside. The air is still, the only sound the soft whir of the fridge in the kitchen.

Olivia's gaze flickered to the digital clock on the microwave, the neon-green digits burning the time into her sleep-deprived eyes: 1:32 AM. It was late, far later than her usual schedule.

The brunette sets the case file down gently on the cool expanse of the kitchen bar. The manila folder seems to hold the weight of her day, the pages inside bearing the heavy truths and injustices that had filled the hours since dawn. Olivia leaves the case file on the bar, the weight of its contents momentarily left behind. She quietly moves down the hallway, the soft creak of the floorboards a silent promise to let her kids rest undisturbed.

First, she checks on her young son, peeking into the room to find him soundly asleep, the soft glow of a night light illuminating the room. Satisfied, she moves to your room, opening the door carefully to ensure they're also asleep.

The oak door creeks open and Olivia’s light smile falls from her lips as she stands in the doorway, taking in the scene before her. You're sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, your shoulders shaking with silent sobs. She steps into the room, her footsteps soft and gentle as she moves toward you.

"Hey.. what's wrong?" she asks, her voice a tender whisper as she crouches down next to you.

You shake your head slightly, unable to form words through the tears. Olivia's heart tightens, her expression a mix of concern and understanding.

"Take your time, baby," she says gently, her voice soothing. "I'm here when you're ready to talk."

She settles down next to you on the floor, her presence like a warm reassurance in the shadows. She waits patiently, giving you the space you need to collect yourself.

"But.." you protest, your voice breaking with the force of your emotions, "I just feel like no one understands what I'm going through. I'm just... I'm just so tired.”

Olivia's heart aches at the pain in your voice. "I know it's hard," she murmurs, "believe me, I know. But I'm here. And we'll figure it out together."

She hesitates for a moment, her eyes darting to your tear-stained face. "Can I give you a hug?" she asks tentatively, her arms open in invitation.

You nod wordlessly, the tears still streaming down your cheeks. Olivia gathers you into her arms, pulling you close against her. The warmth of her embrace wraps around you like a comforting blanket, her steady presence a lifeline in the storm of your emotions.

"Shh," she whispers, her voice a comforting murmur. "It's okay. Let it out. I've got you."

Your tears dampen her shirt as you bury your face against her, the sobs racking your body as you finally let all the pent-up emotions loose. She holds you tighter, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. Olivia's heart clenches in her chest as her eyes dart down to your arms, the faint scars standing out against your skin in the dim light. The realization hits her like a punch to the gut, her fingers tensing on your shoulders.

"Sweetheart...?" she asks, her voice a strained whisper. "What's this?"

You freeze, your breath catching in your throat. You'd been so careful to keep the secret hidden, and yet here it was, exposed under the sharp scrutiny of your mother's gaze.

"I...it's nothing," you whisper, the lie falling flat even to your own ears.

"It's not nothing?" Olivia asks firmly, her eyes not leaving your arms. Her fingers gently trace the lines of scars, the worry etched across her face mirroring the turmoil inside your chest. "Did you do this to yourself?"

You can feel the weight of her question, the silent accusation hanging heavy in the air. You'd hoped this conversation would never happen, that your secret would remain yours to carry. But now it was out in the open, laid bare for your mother to see.

You nod silently, your eyes averted, your voice trapped in your throat.

Olivia's breath hitches in her chest, her throat tightening at your confirmation. It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. She'd suspected, of course, but the confirmation was like a dagger to her heart.

"Oh, sweetheart," she murmurs, her voice thick with emotion. "Why? Why would you do this to yourself?" She cups your face gently, making you meet her gaze, the pain and worry in her eyes a stark contrast to the facade you'd been trying to maintain.

You can't find the words to answer, the tears that had slowed starting afresh. There were so many reasons, so many thoughts and feelings that had pushed you to the edge time and time again. But how do you explain that to someone who couldn't possibly understand the storm inside your mind?

Olivia sees the turmoil in your eyes, the silent struggle to find the words. She pulls you back into her arms, cradling you against her chest as another wave of tears breaks against her.

"We need to talk about this," she says softly, her voice a comforting murmur as she runs her fingers through your hair. "But not tonight. Tonight, just let me hold you."

You cling to her, your hands gripping the fabric of her shirt as if it was a lifeline. The exhaustion and the weight of your anguish suddenly feel too much, and you let the tears fall freely.

Being held in her arms like this, safe and warm, you can almost forget the world that had driven you to this point.

For now, this was enough.

[idontplaytrack]

✧ Sick

Olivia Benson x college student daughter! reader

Warnings: implied sexual assault, coarse language. your typical SVU case discussion scenes.

Reader becomes an SVU case. Olivia gets the shock of her life seeing you walk into the precinct, teary eyed and bruised all over.

It was two a.m., the smell of the precinct’s cheap coffee hung around the air as the squad was in a heated discussion of their leads for a current case. Everybody was a little annoyed due to the lack of sleep, Liv included. Especially Liv— she was in charge. Fighting the sleep and taking another gulp of the black coffee, her ears perked up when she heard footsteps approaching herself and her squad. Her eyes briefly out of focus due to tiredness but quickly came into focus. She squints, her heart sank to the floor when she realised who it was. It was you. In tears, bruised jaw, bleeding cheek. She rushes over to you, asking you what happened.

She knew you weren’t supposed to be home from college until the day after. So you must’ve came back early. You disclosed the attack to your Mother, who then accompanied you to the hospital for an examination. She sat by your side as you laid on the exam table, feeling more vulnerable and in pain than ever as the doctor began asking you questions, swabbing, poking and prodding you. Each action sent a knife through Liv’s heart— she lets you squeeze her hand to divert away the inescapable pain, your cries made her want to double over and burst into tears, but she stayed strong for you. After a few hours, you were finally back home— the sun was rising, signalling the start of a new day but the adrenaline…it was wearing off and you were hit with exhaustion like a ton of bricks. The squad — Kat and Fin wanted to talk to you but Olivia refused to let them, wanting you to get some sleep first.

Olivia pulled the blinds down then sat in your bed with you, “You wanna get some sleep, honey?”

“Will you stay with me?” You asked meekly.

“Of course, sweet girl. I’ll be right here. Okay? Lay down, close your eyes.” And so you did, snuggling under the covers with Olivia sat in the spot beside you holding your hand.

At noon, Fin came by the apartment with Kat. They needed to talk to you, you knew you needed to tell them everything you know, but you were still feeling like a mess. Your heart still felt like it was racing, you constantly felt like someone was watching you...

They were patient with you, maybe more so than they would any other victim, but you appreciated it nonetheless. You recounted your night, letting them know where you were, who you were with and what you were doing. What you saw, what you heard and even smelt were just as crucial.Your Mom left the room hearing you talk about all that went down, and that was when you spotted a blonde in the doorway consoling her- Rollins.

When they were done with their questions, the promptly left you alone knowing you needed the space and peace. They went back to the precinct and your Mom walks back in with Rollins who came by to see you.

————

"This happened late at night the guy followed her from a bar to the subway. She tried to lose him but he kept following her. She was on her way to the precinct anyway because she knew Liv was working late and wanted to keep her company." Fin began, "Rape kit came back positive for fluids with a match to two cases in other SVUs."

"What bar was she at?" Carisi asks, looking through the file.

"A gay bar."

"Just like in these two cases. The perp did the exact same thing, only this time- they left us DNA.”

Carisi squints, taking a closer look at the information, “Our perp is a woman.”

That evening, Olivia returned to work after you persuaded her to. “We know who it is. The victims on the first two cases refused to testify.”

“One of them responded to us— she wants to testify now. And her case is still within the statute of limitations.” Carisi informs.

“Good, let’s nail this sick bitch.” Olivia declared, “y/n told me she’d testify too if that’s what it takes.”

“Hell yes. Attagirl.” Fin nodded, “We’ll get her, Liv. I promise.”

Olivia scoffs, “Fin- I appreciate it, but don’t speak too soon.”

“We will.”

[chestnutninny]

Masterlist

Fluff ♡, Smut ◇, Angst ○, □, ☆

Law & Order: SVU

Casey Novak

Tender, Loving Care ♡

SFW Alphabet ♡

NSFW Alphabet ◇

Three Way Love (with Alex) ◇

Going Down ◇

Wounded ♡◇○

I'm Yours ◇

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Olivia Benson

NSFW Alphabet ◇

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Alex Cabot

Second Chances ♡

NSFW Alphabet ◇

Three Way Love (with Casey) ◇

My Sunshine ♡

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Elizabeth Donnelly

Secrets ♡

5th Times The Charm ♡◇

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Rita Calhoun

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Sonya Paxton

SFW Alphabet ♡

Drunken Love ♡

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Kim Greylek

SFW Alphabet ♡

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Criminal Minds

Emily Prentiss

Dinner Date ♡

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jennifer Jareau

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Elle Greenaway

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Penelope Garcia

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Aaron Hotchner

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Femininomenon ♡◇

Get Your Girl

Spencer Reid

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

NCIS

Abigail Borin

I Thought I Hated You ◇

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ziva David

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Orange Is The New Black

Piper Chapman

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Alex Vause

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Nicky Nichols

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Series

The Rise &Fall Of A Midwest Princess ♡◇

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

[mrs-prentiss]

one thing about me i recently found tumblr for the first time in my life a few weeks ago…this is my favorite social app i own and side note i’m a whore for older women i want me an older woman to date so bad 😩

[writerspirit]

you know it’s bad when i started a playlist for a series…

well, as melissa schemmenti would say: “whoops”.

[moonlightjxuregui]

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WRITE OR FIND ME AN OLIVIA BENSON X DAUGHTER READER FIC WHERE YOURE ALSO DATING CASEY THANK U <333

[spicybleach]

Happy Pride Month🏳️‍🌈 day 4: My wife the only and only Mariska Hargitay 😩❤️

[storiesofsvu]

Captain's Office

*NOT MY GIF* I wanted a very particular vibe for this fic and tumblr's function sucks! Found of google, credit goes to @fourteenthofaugust !*

Olivia Benson x fem!reader

2.3k Warnings: language, smut, slight teasing, minor Captain kink, somewhat public sex but not really?

Your morning was spent working from home, your afternoon spent in the courtroom followed by a few hours working through the case with the ADA. This mean you’d forgone your usual look of detective, one ready to race through the streets of New York tackling perps and opted for a softer more approachable and friendly one of credible witness to the case who understood everything at stake. Your hair curled around your shoulders, loosened as the day passed, your regular blazer over top, now at the end of the day finding its home in the back of your car. Dress exposed, professionally enough, but hugging your body, fitted enough to accent the curve of your ass perfectly.

Which is exactly why you thought you’d have a slight upper hand when you showed back up to the precinct, the only light coming from Olivia’s office.

Her text had pinged your phone roughly an hour ago, telling you to meet her back there rather than home. At first you thought maybe she’d had dinner delivered to work instead, choosing to finish up the paperwork rather than bring it with her but the silence of the bull pen told you otherwise, there was no one else left in the building.

“You… wanted to see me?” You asked softly, perching in her doorway, a soft smile on your cheeks.

Olivia tore her gaze away from the file folder in front of her, flipping it shut as her eyes dragged up your body, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. She shoved her work off to the side, removing her glasses to place on top of the pile before she leant back in her chair and your breath caught in your throat. She was still in her uniform blues, her black nail polish catching in the low light as a piece of her bangs swung loose from her now somewhat messy updo.

“Close the door.” She instructed, her voice low and you did as she asked, waiting for her next order, “c’mere…”

Two of her fingers crooked and you nearly stumbled over your high heeled feet as your heart began to thud in your chest, heading in the direction of a chair in front of her desk. The corner of her lips flicked up into a grin, her eyes darkening as your fingers wrapped around the chair arm.

“Uh-uh.” She shook her head, fingers tapping the side of the desk she was sitting behind, “come here, pretty girl.”

Gulping, you rounded the desk, propping yourself up against the edge while she leaned even further back in her chair. Her head tilted for a moment, smirk evident on her lips while her eyes traced every curve of your body, lingering where your skirt rode up your thighs, the way your chest strained against the neckline. Reaching out her hand grasped your leg, sliding up until it met the hem of your skirt and she nearly chuckled at the way your breathing picked up while she played with the fabric.

“I was right.”

“Sorry?” You managed out, your fingers gripping at the wood behind you.

“You.” Her eyes twinkled, her hand beginning to ghost up your body, sliding up your stomach, delicately making its way between your breasts, avoiding where you really wanted her touch before gently wrapping around your throat as she rose to her feet in front of you, “liking me in uniform.”

“I…”

“Ah!” Her hand tightened around your throat ever so, “don’t lie to me sweetheart. I can feel the way your pulse is racing already.”

You gulped again, noticing the way your throat bobbed under her hand and the way her eyes darkened at the sensation. You couldn’t help the way your lips parted, whether an invitation for hers or an attempt to get more oxygen to your suddenly heaving lungs you weren’t sure.

“Yes…” you breathed out, “I like it.”

“Yes what?” Her chin tilted down as her fingers squeezed your throat.

“I like it Captain.”

“Good girl.” She smiled softly, her hand letting go of your neck, sliding down it and her fingers began to trace across your collarbone before dipping to the curve of your chest, swirling around until she was circling your nipple, one then the other.

Your gulped, taking a shuddering breath, doing your best to maintain eye contact, Olivia’s gaze burning into yours, her eyes darkening the more she toyed with your body. A cocky smirk remained plastered on her lips as her fingers repeated their patterns on the other side of your chest before finding your sternum, trailing lower and lower until she thought she would find the hem of your underwear. When her fingertips found only smoothness her brow cocked, her head tilting as she clicked her tongue.

“No panties?” She questioned, “dirty girl.” Her fingers slipped under your dress, tracing up your inner thigh until you let out a little whimper.

“Please…”

She chuckled, the tip of her middle finger trailing through your folds, collecting just enough wetness to circle around your clit, “shame I don’t have the strap.” Her finger tapped your clit and you shivered, “could have bent you over my desk, fucked you nice and hard…” she leant down, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck, “nice and deep” she repeated the action on the other side while her palm caressed at your cunt. “my cock buried in that pretty pussy of yours.” The tips of her fingers slid between your pussy lips, just far enough from where you wanted them, “over… and over… again….” Each time she paused she pulled her hand away from the heat of your cunt before gently hitting it, your whines getting louder with each touch. “I can just imagine the way you’d sound.” Her teeth nipped at your neck as her hand disappeared from under your skirt. You let out a frustrated huff, your hands coming to clutch at her uniform, “you’re practically ready to beg right now, aren’t you?”

She raised a brow but you knew better than to respond and because of that you were rewarded instantly, her leg surged forward, knee bracing against the desk between your thighs and a gasp left your lips when your bare pussy met the muscle.

“Oh god…”

Her hands found your waist, grinding you down onto her thigh, guiding you to roll your hips as you bit your lip in an attempt to stifle any noises. Olivia’s fingers squeezed into your waist, moving you faster, the fabric of her pants brushing against your clit each time you moved on her leg, sending pleasure soaring through your entire body. The slow build up of fluttering in your stomach became fire prickling your skin, breaking it out in goosebumps as your pussy began to pulse around nothing.

“You’re always such a good girl for your Captain.” Olivia purred, a hand briefly leaving your waist to tug down the neckline of your dress, your breasts spilling out, nipples hardening in the cool air of her office.

“Mmhmm…” you nodded feverishly; eyes wide as you looked up at her with need splayed across your face.

“Don’t worry.” Chuckling, she leant down, her lips wrapping around your nipple, sucking it into her mouth and your mouth fell open with a quiet moan, “I’m going to let you come sweet girl.” Her breath was hot against your sensitive skin, “I just want to hear you first.” The tip of her tongue shot out, flicking your nipple before blowing a cool stream of air against it and you whimpered, your hand coming to tangle into her hair, further mussing the updo. “That’s it…” she urged, her mouth sucking at your skin again, teeth gently sinking in right as she flexed her thigh against your bare cunt. “You like it when I touch you like this?” Her hand came up, pinching at one nipple while she sucked the other into her mouth.

“Yes…” You breathed out, your hips grinding down harder onto her.

“You like the way it feels when that pretty pussy drags over my thigh?” Her voice was husky, breath hot on your skin as she spoke, the hand she had on your waist tilted your hips back while her thigh pressed up. A loud gasp escaped your lips as your clit directly hit the muscle of her leg.

“Fuck.” Your eyes fluttered shut, your hands desperately gripping the fabric on her shoulders, “yes, oh god yes.”

“I already know you like being bitten.” She confirmed it when her teeth sunk into the underside of your breast and you groaned, arching into the touch, “but what else?”

“Please….” You whined and she chuckled.

“You’re practically shaking sweet girl.” Her tongue swiped over your nipple again, “what would you like?”

“Fingers…” your lips parted, your breath coming out in quick pants as your hips began to roll even faster over her thigh, “need you inside me. Wanna feel you.”

“Hmm?” Her mouth left your chest, her hands wrapping around your waist as she stilled your movement, shifting you off her leg so you were perched on the edge of her desk and your eyes flew open. Her hands flicked up the skirt of your dress and her tongue darted out to wet her lips at the sight of your cunt glistening in the low light of the office, your juices smeared across her pant leg. “You’re dripping already,” she reached out, her fingers dipping into your pussy, “you want to come around my fingers? Make a mess all over my desk?”

“Yes!” You replied, probably too eagerly and a blush crept onto your cheeks, “please. Need to.”

“Alright sweet girl.” Leaning in, Olivia pressed her lips to yours just as her fingers sunk into your cunt and she swallowed down the deep moan that left your throat. “Good girls do get rewarded after all.”

Her mouth quickly returned to your chest, sucking a nipple in between her lips, scraping at it with her teeth as her fingers began to pump in and out of your drenched pussy. Your head dropped back, a muffled cry from behind your closed lips as you dropped back onto your elbows for support. Fire was racing under your skin, your pussy already clenching down around her fingers and you both knew it wasn’t going to take very long before Olivia had your entire body shaking. With each thrust of her fingers the noises coming from your pussy got louder, wet and messy like the kisses she was leaving on your chest. Her teeth sunk into the sensitive skin around your nipple right as her fingers crooked and you cried out.

“Fuck!” Your voice was hoarse, your thighs quaking around her as she continued her movements, each time pressing harder and longer against the extra sensitive spot inside you.

“What do you say?” She nearly growled, her free hand moving to rub your clit and your hips nearly shot off the desk.

“Please Captain!” The coil deep in your stomach was winding tighter and tighter, the need for your release driving you wild enough that tears were beginning to form in the corners of your eyes.

“Please what?” She asked with a particularly hard pinch on your clit and you couldn’t help but moan.

“Please can I come?” You whimpered, “oh god, m’so close, please Captain.”

“You may.”

Olivia sucked your breast back into her mouth, her fingers working you perfectly, knowing just how to fuck you, just when she needed to crook her fingers again, just how hard to press and just how fast to rub your clit. She could feel your juices trickling down her wrist, your pussy clenching tighter and tighter.

“That’s it baby. Squeeze my fingers, let me feel you come.” She pressed her fingers even harder, her entire body rocking into the thrusts and with one final push of her hand you were crying out.

Your legs instantly wrapped around her, pulling her impossibly close to you as your body began to quake, whimpers and breathless moans leaving your lips. Your hand shot out, tugging her to you by the tie, ruining the perfect lines of her captain’s uniform as you gasped against her lips. A sturdy arm wrapped around your waist, hugging you to her while she peppered your face with gentle kisses and she slowly fucked you through your orgasm. When you finally let out a heavy breath, your head dropping onto her shoulder and your body nearly limp in her arms she slipped her fingers out of your pussy.

You let out a small whine, lifting your head and she couldn’t help but smile at the way you obediently opened your mouth for her to slide her fingers into so you could suck them clean.

“Good girl.” She cooed, her free hand stroking the side of your face, smoothing back your mussed up hair.

Her fingers slipped out of your mouth and she leant forward to press a gentle kiss to it while her hands readjusted your dress, neatly tucking your tits back under the fabric. Olivia took a moment to survey you, fixing the twisted strap of your dress, neatly combing her fingers through your hair, twisting the strands back into place and sliding a couple of bobby pins in properly. Her hands gently tapped your knees as she stepped back and you closed your legs so she could smooth the bottom of your dress back down. Her eyes slowly drifted back up your body, aside from your tinged cheeks and the way your lips were still parted in a final attempt to catch your breath, you looked completely normal, like you’d only stopped in the office to pick her up from work.

“Now, how about we get you home?” She held her hand out for you to take and helped you hop of the desk, a smile on her cheeks as you instantly nuzzled into her side.

“Yes please.”

“You better not be getting all tired on me,” she chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “I wasn’t kidding about bending you over and fucking you hard enough to make you scream.”

_______________

Before people start flooding the ask box/comments, NO! There WILL NOT be a part two. If you come asking for it, that will not help the situation, it will just make it worse.

_________

@red1culous @imlike-so-gaydude @altsvu @svulife-rl rl @svushots @lesbianspacecowboy @wannabe-fic-reader @lawandorderimagines @venablemayfairgoode @alexusonfire @mysticfalls01 @beccabarba @littlegaybabe @cmmndrwidw @bumblebear30 @enduringalexblake @wosoimagines @solemnnova @infernumlilith @australiancarisi @cerberus-spectre @wandas-wife @emskisworld @lawandorderuswnt @wandasbrat @hbkpop @samwithnoplan @multifandomlesbianic @sia2raw @ladysc @narvaldetierra @dxtery @poisonedcrowns @momlifebehard @holycrapraewth @alexxavicry @onmykneesformarvel @kmc1989 @temp0rary-bliss @gamma-rae-bursts

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Can You Stay?

Olivia Benson x fem!reader

Warnings: sexual assault/rape (not graphic or anything, this takes place after the fact), trauma, hospitals, rape kit, established relationship, hurt/comfort, some explicit language, brief mentions of self-harm

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: You're assaulted by a man the SVU just can't seem to convict. Olivia is used to victims, she's used to the aftermath of a rape. She's not used to walking through it with someone she loves as much as you.

“Let me see her!” Olivia yelled, shoving Fin so hard he slammed into a wall.

“Liv, you can’t be here as a cop,” Elliot argued, holding her back.

Olivia ran her hands through her hair, angry beyond reason and worried out of her mind. “I’m not, Elliot! I’m here because my girlfriend got raped. Now get the fuck out of my way so I can take care of her!”

Elliot lifted his hands in surrender. “Alright, just… you gotta let us do our job, okay?”

Olivia shoved past him and into your apartment, desperate to find you, to see you, to hold you and protect you. When she found you, shaking and huddled in a corner of your bedroom, it shattered her, but she didn’t feel sad, not yet. That would come soon, she knew. What she felt now was blinding, white hot anger at the man who’d done this to you.

You were so traumatized you didn’t even seem to notice her. Your eyes were glazed over, and you rocked back and forth, your head banging lightly into the wall each time. Munch sat on a corner of your bed, and Olivia looked at him, silently asking if you’d said anything yet. John shook his head. So it had just been the 9-1-1 call so far then.

Olivia lowered herself onto the floor next to you, careful not to touch you, to frighten you. Your hair was dripping wet, and the water had blotched your t-shirt. Her stomach sank. It was him again–Cleary–she just knew it.

“Sweetheart,” she started, her voice soft, looking into your blurry eyes. “It’s just me.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at her, but your eyes filled with tears, and you started banging your head against the wall with more force.

Olivia placed her hand between your head and the wall to soften the blows. You wanted to hurt yourself. You wanted to hurt so much that you forgot what had come before. But you couldn’t bear to hurt Olivia. You put your head in your hands instead and when you finally spoke, your voice was small and hoarse.

“I can’t stop shaking.”

“It’s okay,” she soothed, still not touching you. She’d let you initiate touch if you wanted to. “That’s normal. You’re in shock, okay, baby? It’ll pass.”

“He came in my window, Liv,” you stuttered, unable to breathe deeply enough, your fingers tingling with the lack of oxygen. “He came in my window. I thought it was locked. It– it sh– should have– been l–locked.”

You scrunched your eyes shut and shrunk into Olivia, her arms wrapping firmly and protectively around you as you buried your face in her neck and gasped for breath. She rubbed your back, resting her chin on the top of your head.

“Shh,” she whispered. “Just breathe, baby, breathe.”

Elliot entered the room and sat on the bed with John. Olivia met his eyes, and she saw that he hated to do this. They were always aware of the ways in which an investigation might come off as insensitive to the victim. In fact, they did everything they could to be kind and empathetic and caring. But it had never been clearer than it was now that questions and probing, while necessary, would likely only make your horrific night worse. 

You coughed, trying to desperately get enough air, the room swirling around you. You tried, you tried so hard to fight the darkening edges of your consciousness, but you couldn’t breathe. The last thing you remembered before blacking out was grabbing onto Olivia’s jacket.

“Shit,” Olivia muttered, as your body fell limp against her. “El–”

“On it,” he said, pulling out his radio and walking to the living room. “Yeah, we need a bus at Mott and Spring. Unconscious female. Rape victim, panic attack.”

Olivia laid you gently on the ground, brushing your hair out of your face and placing her fingers on your neck to ensure you had a pulse. It was hard to pass out from a panic attack–which showed just how scared you were. She sighed and watched you, holding back tears, as she brushed her thumbs back and forth across your wrist. She wanted to feel your heartbeat. Just to be safe.

“You okay?” John asked her.

Olivia shook her head, biting her lip. “No.” She smiled wryly, her eyes wet. “But I am dangerously close to committing a felony.”

“We’ll get him, Liv,” John assured her.

“We haven’t yet.”

“We will.”

When you jerked awake, gasping, your heart still racing, Olivia squeezed your hands and bent down close to you. “Hey,” she soothed. “Hey, you’re okay. It’s okay. I’m right here. Just keep breathing.”

She lifted your head onto her lap and you curled into yourself, your hand gripping tightly to hers. When the paramedics came, you shrank away from them and into Olivia, who might very well have assaulted an EMT to keep anyone from touching you and further traumatizing you.

“Can you walk?” she asked, and you nodded. “I got her,” she said forcefully to the paramedic who reached out for your arm.

Olivia walked you out of the room, out of your apartment, down the elevator, and into the back of the ambulance. She never once let you go, never once removed her arm from around your shoulder, glaring bullets at anyone who even came close to you.

Rape kits were always hard, no matter who the victim was, but it was excruciatingly hard now that it was you. Olivia almost couldn’t look at you as you talked the doctor at the ER through your assault. She wanted to cry, she wanted to shoot something, she wanted to hold you and never let you go. She would do anything, anything, to go back in time and have you stay at her place instead. Or, even better, to have been at yours so she could have shot the son of a bitch in self-defense. She didn’t know if she’d ever forgive herself for not being there.

You cried when they swabbed you, your body tensing in panic, hand squeezing Olivia’s so hard that little half moons formed on her skin under your nails. Olivia looked at the ceiling, willing herself not to cry. She felt like her heart was being fed through a shredder. It hurt more than anything, hurt so bad she was nearly bent over with it, to watch you cry. To watch your body flinch away from touch and comfort. To watch you poked and prodded and examined under the harsh fluorescent lights, the smell of alcohol sterilizer permeating everything, when you had already been through so much.

When they finally discharged you, Olivia pulled your softest, most oversized t-shirt and sweatpants out of her bag. She’d brought them from your apartment, knowing that they’d take your clothes for evidence. She dressed you gently, carefully, your eyes bloodshot, face streaked and puffy from tears.

She had Elliot drive you both to her apartment in a squad car, knowing you wouldn’t want to see anyone else, that you wouldn't be able to stomach a cab or the subway.

In the apartment, you sat on the edge of her bed, face blank, terrified to go to sleep. You couldn’t say anything, couldn’t speak. It was as if, after telling what had happened, your voice had switched off.

Olivia brushed your hair out of your face, bending down to look into your eyes.

“Do you think you can try to sleep, sweetheart?”

You nodded, exhaustion hitting you hard as the hours of adrenaline started to wear off. You crawled into bed, and Olivia pulled the covers over you. You struggled to keep your eyelids open, and Olivia gently kissed your forehead.

“Go to sleep, baby,” she whispered. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.”

You grabbed her hand as she stood to leave, turning off the light.

“Can you stay?” you whimpered, tears welling up again, no matter how hard you tried to fight them.

Olivia wordlessly lifted the covers and pulled your body into hers, and you breathed easy for the first time in hours. Her arms were strong around you, her heartbeat sure and steady, hands soft as they ran through your hair. And you knew, you knew, that she would keep you safe.

[naturesapphic]

A much needed break

Olivia benson x fem!reader

Warnings: smut

Olivia hasn’t come home yet and you were worried. She hasn’t been home in days, saying something about finishing some paperwork she was extremely behind on. Of course you understand how important work is for her, even if she’s just doing paperwork, but a lot of the times, she overworks herself to where she exhausts herself. That’s why you are going to the precinct to check on her and make sure she’s okay.

You walked in holding a container of leftovers for her since she probably only had coffee and junk food from the vending machines. Walking to where her desk is, you see Olivia typing away on her computer. She looks up when she realizes someone was in the same room as her and her face immediately brightens when she sees you. “Sweetheart? What are you doing here?” She questioned as she stood up from her chair and walked over to you, wrapping her arms around your waist. “I wanted to come check on you. I brought you dinner too.” You said and she smiles as she gave you a loving kiss on the top of your head.

“Thank you babygirl.” She said and you leaned up to give her nose a gentle kiss which made her blush. She walked back over to her desk with her arm around you and her dinner in her other hand. She sat back down in her chair and she patted her lap for you which you gladly sat on. She was explaining to you some stuff that happened in the past few cases as she ate her dinner. “I’m sorry I haven’t came home. I know I should have. I’m just super stressed and I know that’s not an excuse. Trust me. I miss you so much sweetheart.” She sighed as she explained. You know how hard for her it is to be so open, but she’s been letting down her walls more and more for you.

“I understand baby. Work is important to you and I get that.” You explained as you ran your fingers through her brown hair that was slowly growing out. “What did I do to deserve you?” She asked with a true loving look in her eyes and you blushed. “I should be asking you the same thing.” You shot back at her with a smirk and she smirked back at you. She leaned up and took your lips in hers in a passionate but loving kiss. You moan softly against her lips and wrapped your legs around her waist until your clit hit her pants buckle and you let out a little moan again. She pulled back slightly and gave you a evil smirk.

“What’s the matter babygirl? Are you needy right now?” She asked against your ear and you whimpered loudly which gave her the answer but she wanted you to say it. “Say it sweetheart.” She demanded and you blushed bright red. “P-please livia…I need you so bad…it’s been a week since you fucked me and I need you so much.” You begged her and you saw her eyes darken with lust which made you even wetter. “As you wish darling.” She stated and she bunched up your sundress so she could see your underwear that was practically ruined in your fluids. “My oh my…look at this pretty pussy…”. She stated in a low voice which made you feel hot all over.

She slowly runs her hands over your body and yanks your dress off over your head. You giggle at her frantic antics and she smiles at the sound. Her eyes rake over your soft and gorgeous body, admiring it. “Come on sweetheart. Rub that pretty pussy on my belt buckle until you cum. You whimpered and started grinding onto her buckle and moaned at the sensation. Olivia’s hands are on your hips guiding you as she watches your pussy. She bites her lips and feels herself drooling at the look of you. “Come on darling…keep using mommy…that’s it…”. She praised you and you felt your legs shaking as you felt yourself already cumming. You let out a loud strung out moan and cummed all over her belt and pants.

She immediately pushed the chair out of the way and got down on her knees and buried her face in your warm, throbbing, wet pussy. You squealed at how fast she attached her lips onto you and you screw your eyes shut at the intense pleasure you are feeling. “F-fuck! Olivia!” You moaned out and she threw one of your legs on her shoulder and entered her warm, long tongue deep into your throbbing hole and your knees buckled almost falling but Olivia didn’t let that happen. “Fuck! Fuck!” You moaned out and soon enough you were cumming again but this time into her waiting mouth.

“You always taste so good. I’m addicted to your pussy sweetheart.” She admitted and you smiled at her. She gently laid you out on her desk and sat back on her chair as she dove back into you again. You whimpered loudly at the sensitivity that was rising but all you could think in this moment was your badass, loving, detective girlfriend eating you out like she was having her last meal on earth. She penetrated her tongue into you again and started rubbing your clit with her thumb. You were arching your back and your legs were shaking as you orgasmed again. She pulled away from your shaking legs and smiled down at you. “You’re so beautiful Angel.” She said sweetly and you gave her a tired smile. She licks her lips and wipes the edge of her mouth with her index finger and thumb.

“Do you think you could give me one more sweetheart?” She asked you as she gives you gentle kisses all over your face as she gently rubs over your body. You smiled and nodded at her but she raises her eyebrow and you know. “Yes liv…I can do one more…I want to be a good girl for you.” You stated and she gave you a soft look. “You are always my good girl sweetheart.” She said softly as she looked at you with such an adoring look. She gave you a long, loving kiss to your lips and reached into her drawer to pull out her harness that was attached with a 7 inch dildo that she loves to use on you. “You ready babygirl?” She asked you. “Yes…please…” you whined out and she chuckled at you.

She rests her hands on either side of your body on her desk as she gently slides in your pussy. She bottoms out and waits for you to say that you are ready before she starts. “G-green livia…” you stated and she gave you a loving smile. Olivia pumps into you a few times and you moaned out at the feeling of being full. “That’s it babygirl…such a good girl for mommy…” she panted out as her pace quickens with every thrust. Both of her hands went up to your bare breast and started pinching your rosy pink nipples to give you extra stimulation. With every thrust, your breast moved against Olivia’s hand and that made her go crazy. She started fucking you faster and faster as she removed her hands and replaced them with her face. “A-ah! Mommy!” You moaned out and held her head with one hand as your other hand was on her back, bunching up her shirt material.

“I-I’m gonna c-cum!” You exclaimed and her eyes went up to your face and she gave you that look which meant don’t you even think about it. You whined and she gently bit your nipple in response as she reached down with her hand to start rubbing your clit with her fingers. After a few moments of her fucking you and you begging her to let you cum, she said one simple word that made you lose it. “Cum.” She demanded and you arched your back off her desk and squirted all over her pants and some on her shirt. She smiled and gently pulled out which made you whine at the feeling of being full. “Hey shhhh babygirl…it’s okay..I got you…” she said softly as she scoops you up into her arms and cradles you against her.

She sits back down in her office chair and carefully helps you get dressed while not putting back on your panties since they are ruined. After getting dressed, you snuggle up on her as she finishes some things on her computer before y’all go home and rest. “You did so well for me sweetheart. I’m so proud of you. When we get home we will do our aftercare and we can do whatever you want princess.” She explained and you looked up at her with an exhausted expression and gave her a gentle nod in response. “I love you sweetheart.” She said. “I love you most Olivia.” You said back to her.

A/n: I know this smut wasn’t good but I was horny and I’m on my period and I needed to get this out sldmdkckdksosk. Remember Christmas/winter requests are still open! Also remember to stay hydrated and rest! I love y’all!

[itwasrealtome]

THIN ICE

Olivia Benson x fem! reader

⚠️ DO NOT READ IF THIS MIGHT TRIGGER YOU

ANGST | Olivia Benson x fem! detective reader | Masterlist

Summary : Detective Y/N Y/L/N, part of Olivia Benson’s Special Victims Unit, faces a life-threatening situation during a suspect’s arrest, chasing this one into an ultimate falls to his death. Injured but alive, Y/N finds herself in an hospital room, receiving stern words from Olivia about her reckless actions.

Content Warning : Mention of stimulants to stay awake | Mention of a breakup | Mention of police work | Mention of jumping off a building | Some police man being a jerk | Usual SVU talk : Abuse, murder, violence, weapon and kidnapping | Y/N getting into a fight | People falling from a building | Injuries | Death | Hospital | OLIVIA BEING MAD | HEARTBREAK

A/N : Hello my loves. I'm finally sharing this first Olivia X reader with you. I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think. There are a few people I can't identify in the taglist, I'm sorry.

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•••

This afternoon, the streets seemed even more crowded than usual. The vehicles flooded the roads, coming from every corner and blocking the main way out.

Behind a queue of about ten of them, a police car came to a sudden halt. The alarm was on, and the blue and red flashing lights blinded anyone who looked in that direction.

But no one moved.

Not even the sound of a horn persuaded the citizens of New York to get out of the path.

Amanda’s grip on the wheel only tightened. She had never been able to understand the reason behind people’s insensitivity to this kind of thing. It was such an easy thing to understand. Besides, someone’s life often depended on it. Yet, there she was, turning furiously midway, her partner gasping in surprise, her shirt now stained with hot coffee.

— Dude, can’t you just warn before doing that kind of thing?

The blonde gave a brief glance to her passenger. She expected to find her glued to the door, her fingers clenched around the top handle, but she didn’t.

Y/N was desperately trying to absorb the contents of her cup on her worktop. The wipers provided with her order, finally finding their use.

While most people would have been annoyed about staining a piece of clothing, the young detective was not. She seemed much more upset about losing a few drops of her beverage. The former could still be replaced, but the latter was definitely needed.

— Sorry about your shirt.

— Yeah, well you owe me a coffee.

The driver’s smile only widened when she heard her partner muttering complaints. She knew her well enough to say that it had nothing to do with that slight accident. It was cute. Of course, it was. But Amanda could see through it. She knew it had nothing to do with the coffee. Sure, the days were long and their job involved finding stimulants to stay awake, but Y/N was never acting like that. Something was different. And who better to notice than someone who practically lived with her?

— Sure you’re okay?

— Rollins, it’s just a shirt. I think I can get over it.

Amanda gave her a knowing glance. She expected this kind of answer from the young officer. Everyone knew what kind of person she was.

Committed, she was always the first to arrive at the precinct and the last to leave. She was practically married to the job by now. And though Kat had trouble following orders, Y/N did not. She was the perfect partner. Amanda couldn’t remember a time when Y/N had lost control. But these days, everything seemed to fall apart.

It began with a couple of small comments, here and there, a bit too harsh coming from Y/N’s mouth. Next up, her silence during the team talk was a concerning factor for Amanda. If anyone always had something to add to the investigation, it was her. This ranged from a simple detail no one had noticed, to scientific or sociological facts. It was often complicated to keep the detective quiet, so her lack of involvement was bound to catch the eye. That and the fact the blonde had seen her leave the bunks two mornings in a row at the exact same time.

Sure, it was just the addition of minor details. But the older woman’s gut was not wrong, not about this. Something was wrong with her partner. And it had nothing to do with a simple lack of caffeine.

— Oh, don’t give me that kind of look.

— But you’re not telling me the truth, Y/N/N!

Y/N huffed quietly. At times in her life, she hated being around people whose job was to investigate. She cursed them all equally. She just couldn’t help herself the last few days. Her anger was aimed at a specific and unique person, but that person being in law enforcement themselves, it was almost overwhelming to go to work every day. Time seemed to run too slowly there. The only moments she enjoyed were those outside the building. The cold New York weather allowed her to clear her mind and take a deep breath. And she always had something to do, after all the city never slept.

—Like you don’t keep anything to yourself, huh?

Amanda faintly spluttered. Everyone knew she had had difficult times, but she wasn't the only one. And now that she was honest with herself, she knew she had made mistakes. One thing’s for sure, she did not want her partner to replicate these.

— I made some mistakes, most of them I don’t want you to repeat.

— I seriously doubt you did this one.

That was all she could get out of the young detective. Amanda knew it as she watched her turn toward the window. The mere reflection of her face gave her a glimpse of what she was really feeling inside, a sweet mixture of anger and bitterness. Whatever the problem was, it wasn't something they could fix with a drink. And this worried the blonde even more.

— Just promise me you won't do anything stupid.

These words captured the passenger's interest again. She arched an eyebrow at her partner, a smile forming at the corner of her lips. Knowing their duo’s dynamics, she had dozens of retorts on the tip of her tongue, all of them a little more mischievous than the last. Instead, she just shook her head gently. Amanda didn't have to know how upset she was about the whole thing. She didn’t deserve to worry so much. And Y/N certainly had no right to be such a burden to her partner.

— Like what? Jumping off a building? y/n chuckled at the blonde’s glare. Relax. I won’t do anything of that kind, I promise.

At that very moment, the young detective genuinely meant it. She had not gotten up with such an idea in mind. If jumping off a building was regarded as a very stupid gesture, she considered her routine more so.

It was in the way the precinct’s bunks were beginning to feel like home. And how she spent every second of her days with the badge on her waist. She had no idea when she had last stepped into her apartment for more than a shower. Her desk was overflowing with paperwork and books in which she always found a way to bury herself. It was much more than a way to distract herself. At all costs, she avoided raising her head, out of fear of meeting the gaze that froze her every time. The path she was on was, for that matter, significantly more dangerous than whatever stupid thing Amanda was thinking about.

But she could not say that to her.

To anyone, actually.

— Weren't we just called to make sure that this jerk wasn't prowling around the residence?

In any other context, Y/N would have felt like a fool. Her back nearly arched as she tried to make out what was going on in a street they weren't even close to yet. She may have lacked sleep and insight into her personal life, but her cop intuition never failed her.

— You'd be sure of that if you'd listened to a single word the captain said.

— Something’s wrong.

Amanda brought them to the next intersection before momentarily stopping the car. The sight over her partner’s shoulder sent a chill down her spine. Despite years of experience, she couldn’t help but feel a rush of adrenaline every time. The crowd of cops down the street certainly wasn’t helping. They were everywhere. Mostly hidden behind their vehicles. But their vests did not go unnoticed and neither did their weapons pointed at a specific target.

— Crap, I hate when you’re right about this stuff.

— Hum…what was that you were saying about our captain again? y/n faced her friend with a teasing smile on her face. She couldn’t help herself. Always listen to what sh–

The sudden acceleration of the vehicle silenced Y/N. She felt grateful once again that her belt was keeping her safe. No day went by without her being in some kind of danger, but she never thought she’d have to worry about dying while Amanda was behind the wheel.

— Would you please stop doing that? cried the younger detective, her hands still clutching the top handle. And since when do you drive so badly? Damn it.

— Guess now you’ll stop driving like a maniac if I let you get behind the wheel.

The door swung shut before she could react. She stepped out of the car herself and walked over to Amanda. A vest was tossed in her face before she could even think about opening her mouth. But anyone who thought she would have given up so easily was wrong.

— I do not drive like a maniac.

Her friend gave her a knowing look as she closed the trunk. Now was definitely not the time to have this kind of conversation, but Amanda was glad her partner hadn’t lost everything that made her the person she was.

She was relentless, both in her work and in her personal life. To be defeated by a suspect in an interrogation room was a rare occurrence. Within the profession, many officers wondered about her career choice. They could imagine her leaving the field to terrify judges in a courtroom. Perhaps because they were themselves scared to death to face her. Seeking victory in a debate with a woman like Y/N was a waste of time. She knew when she was wrong, and would always acknowledge it. Nevertheless, she also knew when she was right. And in those moments, Amanda was the first to grab a bag of popcorn.

— That you do.

The detective’s hands found the velcro on the vest from memory as she was too busy glowering at her friend. The protection weighed on her shoulders. It was almost enough to give her a reason to fall apart. That, and the weight of life that was beginning to take its toll on her.

Slightly defeated, she stomped over to Amanda to catch up with her. She knew the other detective was right. Her anger was evident in the way she drove. Since then, she was assigned the role of co-pilot. It was okay. But she loathed being deprived of her usual distraction. It was starting to loop in her mind. She needed a way out.

— Detective Rollins and Y/L/N, Special Victims Unit.

Amanda shoved her badge in the man’s direction, half-expecting him to tell her to piss off. He dominated the scene with his large stature and a rank evident to all. The rookies were following his orders and keeping their mouths shut. Something that obviously wouldn't work with Olivia Benson-trained agents. He didn't seem to mind, guiding the two detectives as close as possible to the scene. But then, the mere idea of having to send men into the building made him raise his chin in an authoritative, disapproving manner.

— Our only witness is trapped in this building, Rollins began the fight, finger pointing accusingly. I don't care how, I want that man in custody.

If one of them had looked up for even half a second, instead of fighting over who had the biggest –which was obviously Y/N in this situation– they might have been able to stop the young detective in her tracks. Amanda had had enough of listening to the man's whining as he waved his rank in her face. And her colleague, the one she was supposed to look after, was tired of simply waiting.

As discreet as a mouse in the middle of the city, Y/N circled the building and quickly found a fire escape. It wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind when the impulse to walk into the building first came to her, but she couldn't really say she'd given it much thought. With a bit of imagination, and a little help from a trash container, she managed to pull herself up to the top. Now, maybe that was the beginning of a crazy idea. She could already imagine her partner and captain scolding her - if, and only if, she managed to get out of there alive and intact.

At the top of the stairs leading to the third floor, the detective stopped dead in her tracks at the sound of their suspect's agitated voice.

Thomas Patterson, 45, suspected of having violently abused his wife before killing her, and of abusing his stepdaughter - Johanne Morales. The man's profile was clear: a respectful-looking husband and father-in-law, loved by all, carefree, but once the door was closed he turned into a control freak with urges he simply couldn't escape. He clearly hadn't planned to kill his wife. The autopsy had revealed signs of haste and mistakes that a man like Patterson would never have made if he had prepared properly. But he had made mistakes. His blows had been too violent, Johanne had interrupted him, and he'd had to finish the job quickly - too quickly, in order to hide his crime.

Y/N had studied his profile carefully. That's what she did best, that and avoiding her captain. She knew he was restless, nervous, ready to do anything to cover up his actions. The final piece of the puzzle was to eliminate the only witness, the one who would go all the way to court to see him take the fall. She had an advantage over him. She was there, so close to the goal, and he was unaware of her presence. At least, that was until Amanda's voice came through the radio.

— Y/L/N, you've got two seconds to get your butt over here.

The young detective could have banged her own head against the wall. Boy, had she been stupid on that one. She clenched her jaw, the urge to bite her fist growing cumbersome as she prayed Thomas hadn't heard. But he definitely did.

A front door opened slowly, the creaking hinges betraying the building’s condition. The man was probably armed, the sound of the guard echoing in the empty corridor. Each of his steps shook the wooden floor and sent a current of adrenalin through Y/N's veins. He was getting closer. She could smell him and his perfume. Him and her fear.

As soon as he was close enough to round the corner of the stairwell, the young detective took this as her cue. She charged at the man, her hands reaching for the 9mm held firmly in his rough, bleeding hands. In a split second, the magazine slid out and collapsed on the floor. She sent it tumbling down a few steps with her boot, before landing a knee into the suspect’s parts. This only confused him for the briefest moment. He was on her again before she could even flinch. Her body hit the wall with a heavy thud, the vest shielding her body from the heavy impact. However, the man’s hands found her neck and tightened their grip, pulling her head violently forward and then pushing it back, slamming it against the concrete wall.

He repeated the motion twice more, the detective’s pleas of pain provoking a feeling he himself could not begin to describe. Y/N wasn’t done with him yet. He clearly wanted to lash out at a woman and had a nasty habit of underestimating them all. Only, today wasn’t his lucky day. He was forced into the apartment where he had deliberately tied up the young Johanne. It was his turn to bang into something. The dresser barely tilted behind him, but the vase crashed hard against the top of his skull. He felt the water run down his face, the smell of freshly bought flowers wafting through the air.

Back in a corner, Johanne tried desperately to struggle out of her bonds, her words puffed out by the duct tape over her mouth. She could only witness the struggle between her back-up and her assailant. Watching as Y/N unloaded all her pent-up anger on the man who had dared to cause so much harm. In one smooth motion, Thomas grabbed the detective’s gun, a triumphant glint in his eyes. Hope was soon lost, his chances of getting out of there alive and free close to zero. His opponent was relentless and had no intention of letting him slip away. His only option, he realized, a flash of light reflecting off the window, was to drag the detective with him in his fall.

Outside, Amanda was still arguing with the man in charge of operations. He hadn’t given up and neither had she. Only when, as the argument continued to escalate, gunshots were heard, followed by the shattering of a window pane, did they come to an agreement. The plan didn’t even have time to take shape before two bodies flew out of the building.

First, the blonde saw the man she recognized as their suspect crash hard to the ground, the collision knocking him down instantly. Then came a tremendous thump and the shrill sound of a car alarm. Straight ahead of her, on one of the patrol cars, had landed Y/N. The height of the fall meant that the roof of the vehicle had been crushed and some of the windows smashed. That wasn't what Amanda was most worried about. Her partner, the one who'd promised her she wouldn't do anything stupid – like jumping off the third floor of a building, was sprawled motionless on the broken glass, blood on the back of her skull.

— Oh my God, Y/N, in one stride, she was as close as she could get to her friend. Call an ambulance. Now!

For once, the man made himself useful, radio in hand, as he asked for help. He now stood with one, maybe two, even three victims to deal with if the detective didn't make it. He could already imagine the damage it would do to his career. Besides, he knew Captain Benson very well and had no desire to mess with her.

Needless was his worry. The more Amanda studied her friend, the more she realized how lucky she’s been. Y/N was simply stunned, staring at the New York sky with an uncharacteristic intensity. She began to laugh, full-throated, heartily. It was probably the adrenaline pumping again. Tears joined the party, leaving funny marks on her bloody cheeks. Suddenly, she remembered.

— Johanne. She's alive. Up there. Y/N looked up at Amanda expectantly. She needs help.

***

Captain Olivia Benson had seen enough in her career not to let anxiety get the better of her. She had been beaten, kidnapped, almost died and dragged through the mud in front of an entire courtroom. She had reached a point where facing certain types of suspects no longer made her lose her footing.

But someone was bound to make her lose it.

Briskly, almost to the point of knocking herself off her feet, she made her way through the corridors of a hospital she knew all too well. The distinctive clatter of her heels against the floor blended perfectly with the incessant beeping and distant hubbub of such a place. She wasn't there to see a victim, as she often was. Her hasty and agitated demeanor only aroused the suspicions of the medical staff who had crossed paths with her so many times. It wasn't just a professional matter.

It hadn't been for a long time.

When Olivia reached room 212, she didn't spare a moment's hesitation. One of her youngest detectives and latest recruit was sitting wisely on the edge of the bed, her legs wriggling in the air like a child's. A nurse was visibly busy behind her, dropping more and more glass flakes into her tray as she went. She leaned against the doorframe, arms folded tightly against her chest, eyes focused on the sight that made her stomach hurt in spite of herself.

She watched as Y/N's chest, covered in dried blood, continued to pulsate with every breath, as hematomas were already starting to spread across her face and torso, and as her plain face twisted in pain as soon as the nurse reached for another piece of glass. Just a few days ago, her first instinct would have been to rush to her protégé’s side and calm the agony she knew to be growing in her heart. But she'd vowed to keep her distance and stay in her current position: Captain Benson, unit chief.

All too quickly for the young detective's liking, the nurse finished her treatment and left the two law enforcement agents behind. Olivia had had the decency to wait until the door was closed before lashing out at her, which didn't stop Y/N from rolling her eyes. She'd already imagined this conversation - or rather, monologue - and knew she wouldn't come out of it unscathed. She'd probably lose her badge. No matter, she'd already lost her heart.

— Have you completely lost your mind? You could’ve been killed.

This was the cue for a lengthy sermon that she couldn't escape. The words left Olivia's mouth at a speed that seemed unbearable. She paced back and forth, her arms stretching out in waves of frustration and indignation, her cheeks rosy with emotion. She'd done some stupid things herself when she was just a rookie, but throwing herself off the third floor of a building had never been on the list.

— Are you done? y/n arched an eyebrow as Olivia finally paused. I saved a life today. While Amanda and that jerk were fighting over who had the biggest, which apparently I did.

— No, you refused to follow orders. Not only did you put yourself in danger, you put everyone's lives in danger. Heaven help us again that you were wearing your vest, otherwise it could have been a lot worse.

— I don't know why you care so much, you're just my boss!

Although these words were intended to hurt Olivia, it was Y/N who took the brunt of the blow. It was one thing to know that their relationship had been reduced to this, but it was quite another to admit it in person. The brunette was no longer entitled to worry so much, to ask her to watch out and send her a text as soon as she got home. Whatever had been was no more.

— Right, Olivia broke into an almost scoffing snort. Let me tell you, as your captain, that you won't be leaving the precinct for a long time.

— You’re benching me? Liv, you can’t do this!

— What you did was completely irresponsible. You don't want to follow orders, fine. But you're not leaving this desk without my permission.

The young detective had been holding her breath for a long time– far too long. She'd spent days avoiding conflict, lamenting in her corner, mourning the end of a story she'd thought would last forever. It wasn't just about what had just happened, it was something else, something more personal. She felt as if Olivia had no idea how to express her concern, as if her only option was to play the role of the big bad boss. But she was tired of hiding, of running away, of avoiding confrontation.

— Breaking my heart wasn't enough for you, uh? She rose from the bed, hastily putting on her jacket. If you want me to leave the squad, just say so.

For the first time, she faced her head-on. Head held high, eyebrows furrowed in frustration, ready to stand on tiptoe if that would help reach the brunette's height. She faced those brown pearls with all the courage she had left, her own eyes misty with tears she'd never let flow. This was it, so close yet so far, two souls who knew each other becoming strangers once again.

Olivia reached out with a last ounce of regret, brushing away a tear that had escaped down the young detective's cheek with the tip of her thumb. Her heart urged her to do more, to embrace this bruised woman, to bring her all the comfort she needed. She wanted to take Y/N home, wrap her in one of her shirts, tell her how much she loved her. In another life, where they were just two soul mates, where Olivia didn't have to worry about repercussions, whatever they might be. This was where she could find comfort.

— Go home. Take a few days. Get some rest. We'll talk about it when you get back.

The New Yorker had rarely seen a face shattered in a matter of seconds. Her words had urged Y/N to free herself from her hold, her head heavy and spinning from all the hassle and concussion she'd picked up from the blows. Her shoulder nudged her superior's as she walked by, a gesture of no little importance. She did not look back once to meet her former lover's gaze again.

Maybe she should have.

Maybe she would have seen the same love, the same tears, that Olivia saw in her eyes.

Maybe the ice wasn't so thin after all.

•••

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