#old wip finally done btw

[famia-of-87]

I am an artist.

[loco-warehouse]

TFP Reborn AU notes and thoughts

So, this has been a long time AU coming, and I'm reworking it from more out of character/impulsive writing choices. (BTW, critiques I encourage for the AU)

I've been writing a lot of notes, and am writing this post before really focusing on a fanfiction or comic (as if I don't have two huge wip comics lmao)

So first--

Optimus

For me, Optimus is extremely hard to write. He's a stoic character, wisdom beyond his years and with individualism taken away from his train of mind. Wisdom through war and death, Optimus's rebirth is met with a new, calmer world, but gifted with an "old school" perspective.

Originally, I wanted to have Optimus have a dance hobby, but I'm scratching that out and replacing it with a basketball aka "cube." I want Optimus to take interest in his older hobbies, with him saying, "Oh, I used to play this back in the 80s." I'm mainly referencing this from G1, and I want Optimus leadership traits to come through for his Cube team.

I've given him a complicated role of where he still needs to be this martyr, but instead of protecting Primus's people, he is force to reinvent himself and show compassion for the singular person that has destroyed countless of lives.

And, to be fair, I have little idea on how to write/develop this idea.

Megatron/Magnatwitch prev. and new Hobbies

Megatron is still his rebirth self, but unlike Optimus, he isn't too keen with his memories. When thrown back on Cybertron, Megatron suffered a concussion that basically gave him amnesia. Though, through therapy and consistent reintroduction of things he once knew, he slowly develop memories over time. This affects his developing personality with older traits, creating a different version of his past self.

Megatron was a poet, gladiator, and activist/politician.

Twitch, while a different/same individual, has some of the same traits.

When Twitch is reborn, his poetry is transformed into a lyrical passion. He becomes infatuated with music from the 80s to 2010s, creating songs and music sheets to match his projects.

His gladiator trait though, is lessened. As Megatron, he fought to survive and climb the ranks, but as Twitch, he was pushed towards wrestling and other fighting sports by his family and peers. Realistically, he hated it. But, he was so good at the sport, he even made all the way to nationals and won second place in his state. Though Optimus and their foster parents were proud of him, Twitch finally broke and asked them to never sign him up to those sports again. What was a sport to others, was a traumatic sense of survival for him, over and over and over.

When he's in his early teens, he grabs his friends and they make a tiny garage band called, "Playing Primus" (haha playing God get it anyways.) Their gimmick is the six friends would dress up in silly costumes of one of the Primes, and Twitch, ironically and purposely, represents himself. (Megatron playing Megatron in a band, yeah a bit silly I know) He takes the main lead in playing electric guitar.

I'm lowkey still working on the activist part.

Optimus and Megatron/Twitch Early Life Identities

Both Optimus and Twitch were raised as boys from Knockout and Breakdown.

When they start sending them to school, they get a notice that the two aren't updated on their vaccines, which is required for them to continue public school.

Knockout sighs and takes the two kids to a local free clinic, which is run by a "Remedy Family." When Knockout and Breakdown got the two kids, they just made the immediate assumption that they're raising two boys with a mysterious background.

Once the checkup is done, the four are notified that, actually, Optimus and Twitch are femmes.

"What."

"Did. Did you ever check their paperwork??"

okay why am I mentioning this, basically this is the most headcannon, impulsive writing choice I'm making that I can't personally let go of.

Optimus is trans. He goes from F to M, always identifying with his mech identity and experiencing dysphoria when being forced to grow up as a gender he doesn't identify with. It doesn't affect the plot too much, but there are points where I want to write Optimus questioning and assuring his gender identity, thus adding to his character growth as a sort of new individual.

Twitch, however, is a bit different. I have plenty of reasons as to why Twitch stuck with he/him pronouns, though still identifying as a cis femme. My reasons are for him to have a complex gender and sexual identity, but for Twitch as a character, he will say, "cause I don't care what you call me." Basically, Twitch is a he/him butch lesbian, and takes pride in confusing his classmates. Does this affect plot? Yes and no?? It's mentioned, but because Twitch treats it so nonchalantly, it's rarely brought up or considered. At the end of the day, Megatron/Twitch are still themselves.

[galvanizedfriend]

KC Wip Wednesday

This is my humble contribution to WIP Wednesday! It's a scene from the rewriting of TVD S5 - Yokan's version. In it, The Originals never happens, most of the Mikaelsons remain in Mystic Falls and Klaus and Caroline are kind of a thing, but nobody knows (for sure). Remember that moment where Katherine locks herself up in a safe with Stefan to "cure" his PTSD? It's that, except it's Klaus, not Katherine. This alludes to a very Klefan past, btw. Be warned if you're not a fan.

Also, this is for @definedareasofuncertainty, who wanted me to write her Easter Klefan. 🤧 There you go, friend! And you know, not beta'ed and all that.

--

Klaus lies on his back, takes a calm breath as the heavy door is closed with a thud, engulfing them in absolute darkness. All in all, he'd say a metal box is hardly the most uncomfortable setting he's found himself in. He prefers the comfort of first-class accommodations, but he's traveled in worse. The grown man beating about beside him does make things rather unpleasant, though.

"Stop! Caroline! Get me out of here!" Stefan screams, smashing his fists against the iron safe's indestructible structure. The more desperate he gets, the more uncoordinated and weaker his movements become, thus making the effort completely useless, however accomplished in making the experience all the more miserable for him.

It's embarrassing how incapable Klaus is of saying no to Caroline whenever she asks for a favor. Locking himself up in a box with a traumatized Stefan has to be an all-time low. The things he won't do when she bats her eyelashes and says please.

"Oh, stop it," he remarks in a bored tone as he shoves Stefan aside. The old safe is rather spacious, but definitely not enough to comport two men, particularly if one of them won't stop bloody writhing like a worm in hot sand. "The more you scream, the more breathless you become." The more I want to tear your vocal cords to shreds.

"Get me out of here, Klaus, get me the fuck out of here!"

"Relax, Stefan. I'm here to help," he says. "I'm what you would call a greater agony to alleviate the smaller pain you feel being trapped inside the box. It's reverse psychology, or so Caroline read in a book. What do you think of a little werewolf venom high to speed up the process?"

"You're psychotic. You're fucking insane!" Stefan starts pounding on the box again. "Caroline! Caroline, open up! Open it now!"

"I'm sorry, Stefan!" comes her muffled apology. Even through the metal barrier she sounds thick with guilt. It was her idea, but already she's cracking. That bleeding heart of hers… "I'm sorry, I will -"

"Do not touch that box, Caroline," he commands with his full authority. "Leave it."

There's a long pause, the sound of Stefan's heart hammering away inside his chest in the box as they wait to see what she'll do. A beat goes by before she mumbles a final sorry and scurries away, likely to avoid the temptation of putting poor Stefan out of his misery.

Klaus' lips pull into a grin. "Good girl."

Stefan starts shaking beside him, his breath becoming even more labored. "I can't breathe," he gasps. "I can't - I can't -"

"You don't need to breathe, Stefan. It's all in your head," Klaus reminds him pointedly. "A vampire having a panic attack, honestly. When you think you've seen everything…"

"You're not fucking helping!"

"Pardon me. My bedside manners have gone a little rusty since the last time you've experienced them." Klaus casts Stefan a glance, sees the way his eyes widen in horror, his body growing stiff as a rod, and he can't contain the self-satisfied smile that draws across his lips. "We did once find comfort in each other's company, didn't we?" Stefan makes another panicked sound, smoothing his hands across the cold metal door above them, trying to find a way out. Klaus chuckles. "Don't worry, mate. Caroline can't hear us. Your sordid little secret is safe with me. It's just us here, alone under the cover of darkness. Nothing we haven't done a dozen times in the past. Ahh, the 20s…" he speaks around a dramatic sigh. "It was the roaring years, indeed."

"What are you doing?"

"Making conversation."

"I don't want to talk to you, I especially don't want to talk about that." Stefan nearly chokes on the last word, inching as far away from Klaus as the confined space will allow, as though the mere idea of touching him fills him with utter revulsion. Klaus knows better; it's the way he remembers exactly how it didn't what terrifies him.

Anybody who's met this watered down, colorless version of Stefan would never be able to tell how much of a free spirit he used to be. He was fun. A far cry from the shivering man beside him now. Tragic, really.

"I know you like to pretend it never happened. Frankly, you've become quite an embarrassment of your former self, so I wouldn't proudly advertise it either. This bunny-eating, crying in the dark skin you're wearing these days is someone is wouldn't be caught fraternizing with if you were the last human being on earth."

"Then leave me the fuck alone already."

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm not here for you," he snaps back. And then, putting a leash on his rising temper, he continues, "But since I have to be… I can recognize that there was something about that time we had together that suited us both, more than just for the obvious reasons."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure you do. I was a tool for you."

"A tool for self-destruction."

Klaus huffs out a disdainful breath. "I was a balm to your tortured soul, Stefan, even at a time when you embraced your true self. I indulged you because you amused me, but at the end of the day, when we were together, it was all rather transactional. It wasn't about sentimentality or a shared appreciation for extravagance. It was about the hollow inside us. The fact we were always desperately seeking to fill it with… Anything, really. Whatever we could find. Passions. Pleasure. Violence. Cravings. But it never lasted, did it? Those things lack a purpose. They're all flitting in their essence, an immense explosion of satisfaction followed by… Nothing. We were both hungry, and we kept trying to find the thing that would sate us. You had lost your mind; I had lost my home. Like drawn to like." Klaus turns his face to Stefan, finds him staring back, eyes glinting with an emotion he can't quite read in the gloom. He always did fancy Stefan's eyes, though. There is something raw about them, something honest for a change. A little opening to the truth in his soul he tries so hard to hide from the outside world. "That's what the darkness is, Stefan," he continues. "Loneliness. It's what restrains us. The monster we cannot outrun. When it all stops - the laughter, the liquor, the hunger - and everything goes quiet around us, that's when we feel it. The curse of eternity. The weight of our years, deep in our bones. And the inevitable loneliness that comes with it. You had your names on the wall, I had my letters, but when all was said and done… We were both stuck in infinite darkness. Except for a few glorious stolen moments, in that repulsive room of yours." The corner of his mouth pulls up into a lopsided smile. "I was the bigger monster you needed in order to humanize yourself. Whatever you were, I was worse, and so I assuaged your guilt. Much like me being here right now. But then of course you found religion!" He laughs, closing his eyes and facing forward once more. "Your spiritual path towards the light. Elena Gilbert." He enunciates the name like it's coated in something toxic. His general distaste for Elena goes further than the fact she has thwarted so many of his plans. It's the boring saint act he cannot get over.

"Yes," Stefan says, his voice rough. "And then I lost her."

"Right. Because she chose your brother." Klaus chuckles. Stefan shifts uncomfortably beside him, the urge to hit him palpable in the air. It only spurs Klaus on. "How so very tacky. No taste, that one. Personally, I think there's no amount of blue eyes or good sex that can make Damon tolerable. What a wanker. I just want to bash his face against a wall whenever he opens his mouth."

Stefan scoffs. "Get in line."

"It's ironic, isn't it? You were at your absolute best behavior, weeding out all of your instincts, everything that made you fun and interesting in order to fashion yourself into a fairy tale prince for her, and what does she do? She chooses the dullard bad boy. Typical." Klaus shakes his head. "Ungrateful little -"

"Shut up."

"Martyr," he finishes with a smirk. "She probably thinks she's going to fix him, doesn't she? I bet he encourages it. But that's the difference between you and Damon, isn't it? Even with all your valiant efforts, you know creatures like us cannot be fixed. We're beyond salvation."

He gets a sudden twinge in his chest, an image flashing in his mind. A smile as bright as the sun. Hair the color of wheat. He sees her shifting under his sheets, feels the warmth of her touch, the brush of her rosy lips against his skin. It ignites a sense of joy inside him unlike anything else, a sense of possession, of belonging, of having found something that is far more precious or rare than any of the hundreds of treasures he's collected over the course of his life. But along with it comes the ever-present fear. Of loss. How long before he ruins her, like he's ruined everything else he's ever cherished? How long before he hurts her, even if he doesn't mean to? Before his darkness tarnishes her and kills that smile? Before she decides he's not worth it?

"How do you make yourself worthy?" he asks, the question tumbling out of his as though of their own accord. "How do you earn the affections of someone so…"

"Good?" Stefan finishes for him, reading his thoughts. "With sunshine and rainbows shining out of their eyes? Someone like, say… Caroline?" Klaus goes quiet, all his humor bleeding out of him in a second. "You don't," Stefan answers his own question. "You'll never be good enough for her, Klaus. Just like I was never good enough for Elena. Not really. The truth is they deserve much better than the two of us." He sighs, deflating with resignation next to Klaus. "I guess we did make quite a pair, you and I."

"Then perhaps we should die together," he says with an edge of aggression, his mood taking a sudden downturn. He's suddenly irritated. With Stefan, with this ridiculous situation, with himself for agreeing to that. "You and I, in a box, at the bottom of a quarry. Over and over again, drowning in suffering for all our sins and the women we don't deserve. How about that?" Silence stretches out between them, absolute. There's no response from Stefan, but there's also no pounding pulse, no disgruntled breaths. "Oh, look," he says dispassionately. "Someone's not having a panic attack anymore. Congratulations. You've conquered your fears. All you had to do was remember there are worse things than dying."

Klaus gives one violent kick on the door, sending it flying off its hinges. He pushes himself up, stepping out of the safe.

Caroline comes whooshing in, eyes wide as she takes in the state of the safe, the way Stefan is still down, cowering from the sudden burst of luminosity.

"What did you do to him?" she demands.

Klaus' mouth inches upward into the barest hint of a grin, no mirth whatsoever. "I fixed him."

[kittynugg]

haha yeah that's just average tumblr user exaggeration we do it all the ti-

*lacrimosa plays like the part where the meme is*

you werent kidding.

YOU WERENT KIDDING

okay so i've learned not to underestimate you leene ( @empressofsamoyeds )

lot of answers under the cut HHAQHKH

this is a fun one! okay so back in my glory days before the horrors (11-13 years old) i used to.. not know ao3 existed! i'd get my reading in on fanfiction.net reading exclusively the detroit: become human works of waywardwonder (also on ao3). this person was/is incredibly talented and writes novel-length fics so if you like dbh you'll probably like them because i FUCKING loved this person.

this person's works were incredibly inspiring to me, i wanted to write dbh fics of my own which i never ended up doing beside a draft i wrote directly on ao3 and gave up on and deleted because i didnt know what rich text OR html was

my NEXT shot at fanfiction i believe i wrote in either microsoft word or on grammarly when i was thirteen, i asked my like 16 year old friend at the time to beta read and they said it looked like something they'd write in middle school and regret in highschool and they were right

sooooooooooo i gave up again

then came a certain show by a certain zoophile who i had no fucking idea about at the time btw that was uh. a shocker. but i. had. HEADCANONS. al*stor was my SON. i gave him a backstory, a cute nickname, a wip i didnt finish..

and then i stopped caring about hazbin hotel because BAM INVADER ZIM BABY LOOK AT THAT LITTLE GUY GO LOOK AT THAT CHILD TRY TO DISSECT HIM i wrote SO MUCH and it was ALL uh

IT WAS ALL TERRIBLE

but this time i didnt give up! my friends encouraged and uplifted me and i discovered looking up "writing tips" on pinterest and i just kept getting better and now i regret writing that dbh fic.

okay so woefully the emoji does not work BUUUUUT I HAVE THE POWER OF THE INTERNET

roller skate

roller skate?

alright whatever. this is for the next chapter of a little dilemma which you should totally read guys. 👧👦🎠🖐👆 its pretty poorly done not very descriptive (THE EMOJIS NOT THE FIC I SWEAR!!) but im a dumb idiot sorry

why is that a roller ska-

OOH!! IOPIOH OOOH!

okay so this first one is a camp camp fic, in which david adopts max because that is the standard for camp camp fics, it's called Love Like You and it is my ALL-TIME FAVORITE. I LOVE IT

this right here, Can't Sleep (And it's Not Because I'm Touch-Starved) almost ties it despite being a oneshot. this is just a fic of ford being in denial about wanting to cuddle its beautiful its my comfort fic. in fact thats my all-time favorite oneshot and love like you is my all-time favorite multi-chapter

and finally, Oh, brother, we go deeper than the ink beneath the skin. it is a series of sickfics that isnt complete yet and you should pleaaseeee read it? please? i love it its stan and ford-centric and its so cute

i usually dont have any but rn i haveeeeeeeeeee seven, two were from roblox and the other five were from ao3

uhhh hmmm

i used to LOVE hello kitty when i was younger, i was a girl when i was younger if that explains it. i've had this old beat up greyed plushie of her for over ten years now i think? she is in my shelf of things that make me happy and when i finally get my gf shit its going to join her

PURELY writer's block. i belieeeeve the source is boredom or understimulation but i've found that when i just dont work on what i should be working on and start a whole new fic instead i can write like over 1,000 words in one day EASILY but otherwise i struggle to write over 500

okay so i do not ship, this is not even a pairing because stan and ford are canonically brothers but here is my headcanon

in ohbrotherwegodeeperthantheinkbeneaththeskin (goddamn its a long name its linked above) ford is mentioned to have a lamb plushie, and i played cult of the lamb with my brother as the goat so i hc that stan and ford had matching lamb and goat plushies as kids. stan lost his somewhere in the house and ford brought his with him to college, it sat in a box until after the show's events when stan revealed to their mother that "..hey ma.. it might seem crazy what im bout to say" and tells her about ford and both her favorite sons are alive and blah blah

and she HURRIES over to visit them and brings stan's old goat plushie she found somewhere ages ago and kept in good condition as something to remember her baby by

so the twins and their childhood plushies were reunited, and ford named them lambert and goatfrey after some lame shit (my headcanon names for the lamb and goat in cotl 🥺)

here's some art i did and sent to someone on anon so if you've seen this before you probably have but im not stealing it hffhuk dont hurt me

they cherish them

...

*cough*

*cricket sound effe-

no no alright three good things -my birthday is in ten days -i found out which store sells the teabags i used to drink in america (black tea obv hifuhukfh THEY BARELY SELL IT HERE) and im currently drinking iced tea -starting to believe that people actually like my writing

i do not use my notes app i used you as my notes app last night to remind myself to think of ideas for stan and mabel bonding (btw i failed) but the latest thing in my stupid opera flow thing wont let me open flow okay thanks opera. im sure its something about stan and ford

i believe ice machines is up there, also how much water could fill an adult's lungs. i dont thik it was for water i think i was just trying not to get put on any lists

if you feel like having a freakout or reaching for a bad coping mechanism, draw something instead! this has saved me from relapsing multiple times

i dont particularly have a dream-fic but i'd like rubyflakes to write more about stan and ford platonically cuddling

my solution is to get inspired by something else and forget about the first thing and make insane progress on the second thing in one day and feel like you did nothing despite all you did with the second thing because you didnt work on the first thing. it works wonders on the second thing

fucking spiders georg man that man is crazy

i get fucking giddy at any comments but the two types that make me the happiest are specific compliments on parts that they liked (leene i love you/p) or "UHFUHVKFVKHU I LOVED THIS SO MUCH IRHFKHFHJFVJF" (my type of comment that is how i comment)

bill bILL THAT FUCKING--

okay so when he's not being shipped with ford he's an objectively good character. i hate him a lot. -they do a good job at making a *cough* irredeemable villain. genuinely the shit bill does is wholly unforgivable. i do not give a fuck what happened to him i have no sympathy -hes silly!! okay so i do despise him but he is FUNNY at times, gotta give him credit where credit's due -he's rotting in therapy and i hope he stays there 😊😊

..ford

no not really

what the fuck who are you

i hve been scratching my neck like a crackhead waiting to open the birthday gift my friend sent me for five days now. ten more days

i hope that answers your question

you bastard making me work on MY writing/j

okay ehre you are its fir a little dilemma its 100 words they're playing on a see-saw :>

“I knew I could count on you!” Mabel chirped, grinning from ear to ear. She took Ford’s still frustratingly-tiny hand and pulled him toward the see-saw. 

Naturally, Ford climbed on like he had the first time, and gripped the railing tightly with one hand as he pushed off the ground and was lifted into the air. Such a simple action.. and yet it was more fun than he had on a daily basis as an adult. Even the second time! It just didn’t get old! “Whoo!” He cheered, reaching a hand toward the sky that cast a long shadow against the ground.

my brother's username was ___nugg idk if he wants me to share it but i like kitties so i went kittynugg. i hate it so much

this fucking idiot

he stinks

okay so i CANT ATTACH ANHY MORE IMAGES so im gonna continue in another post (future connor here, here's part two!)

[sherryrowen]

Update on Hoston (OC)!!

I’ve been working lately on my boy and made a couple of ref sheets for myself for the future. I’ll hit two birds with one stone here and give a little bit of background on who he is and what he does, so keep reading if you’re curious about him!

Here are the reference sheets (they’re still WIPs but I still wanted to share them anyway)

About the reference sheets:

Why I made two references sheets? Well the first one I made was in my regular art style; when I was almost done with the Lineart, I realized that I should have drawn him in a different art style in order for his backstory to make more sense (I’ll explain more in moment), I don’t see why I shouldn’t post it though, since there are some details in this ref sheet that aren’t seen in the other one, like his Mettaton-like arms, and his exposed voice box (more on that later).

The second reference sheet (which is his Official design and art style), is in a “cartoon” art style (which isn’t what I usually do btw), there are two reasons why I decided to go with this style, first: is backstory, you see, he is supposed to come from an AU that is based on cartoons and cartoon-logic, so it just makes sense that he would be cartoonist-looking. The second reason is that it makes him easier for me to draw him (since I have plans on drawing him quite a lot for a certain future project).

About Hoston:

He is a version of Spamton that escaped the Dark world by sending himself to the nearest unsuspecting “computer” that was the most likely to open his spam email, and it just so happened to be Mettaton. Spamton and Mettaton ended up sharing a body for the meantime while Alphys was building Spamton his own body, during that time Spamton learned a lot from Mettaton which made him reevaluate his life, to the point were he admired Mettaton, considered him a mentor, and even mentioned wanting to be a Show host like him, to which Mettaton laughed thinking he was joking.

About his body: he specifically requested Alphys for his face to have a long nose. Before he was transferred to his body he was sent to Alphys’ computer so she could help him fix his um… [spam moments](?), she was able to fix it to a certain extent, he still gets them from time to time especially and specifically when he gets “emotional”, example: when he gets really excited or very angry. When he was finally transferred to his new body and heard his voice, he HATED it, because, to him, it didn’t sounded like his old voice back in the Dark World; so he asked Alphys to change it multiple times, and some times when he thought he had found a voice that he liked after some time he’d end up hating that voice too; he does eventually finds one that he likes but Alphys decided to leave his neck without a cover plate, exposing his voice box, in case he changed his mind and came back for another voice box, that way she could change it faster; because of this he always covers his neck with a huge neckerchief, so in the case of him getting in a battle, the opponent doesn’t take away his voice, since that’s the most important thing to him.

So, things happen, and he eventually changes his name to Hoston and becomes the host of a show (I know, a terrible name, I did mention in my Meet the Artist that I was bad with names).

“What is his show?” You might ask? Well it’s the “Hoston Show”! (Again, I’m bad at names). What is his show about? Well, that we’ll see.

Does he have any powers or special abilities? He does! Because he comes from an AU with cartoon logic, he’s got any cartoon related powers you could think of, he’s got hammerspace, he can create things (like a stage for example) out of nothing, and he’s even got the delayed fall (though idk if he’d consider that an ability), he’s got more stuff but I can’t recall anything else rn, just think of the “Looney Tunes” and ‘Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner”, those pretty much the sums of what he can do.

Despite what you might think he doesn’t do much fighting and uses his abilities for the purposes that benefit his show, though if he’d feel threatened, he with no doubt will defend himself, but that usually depends entirely on if he puts himself in a vulnerable position, which rarely happens.

That’s all for now, here, as a bonus have some Hoston Doodles!

(I kinda feel a little dumb saying this but:) Hoston belongs to me.

[chipped-chimera]

WIP WEDNESDAY - 21/06/23

(I mean it’s technically Friday now between timezones and spoons but have this otherwise I’ll keep forgetting) My first WIP Wednesday! Thanks @theviridianbunny​ for the tag! I’ve been really getting stuck into modding - as well as falling into my usual mod habit of ‘start like six project at once and end up with a million WIP files' but I guess I’ll talk about the major ones.

Graphic design is my passion ...

(Long) rambling about mods I'm making + things I've learned below the cut~

My V’s tatt project is still ongoing, and I’ve (somewhat begrudgingly) been trying out Substance Painter to work on bits of it, mainly polishing seams between UV maps. It’s definitely got a lot of benefits, especially for graphic placement in really tricky areas (like anywhere in the entire head mesh region for example) but I still think a lot of the heavy work will still be done in Photoshop so I’ll probably be writing up both experiences with them when I do that tutorial I keep hinting at for complex tatt work. I’ve started drafting a tumblr tutorial but I wonder if that’s the best format, maybe a PDF? Google doc? Github wikis look cool? (tho I think I need to pay for that) - if y’all got suggestions for tutorial formats pls let me know!

As for the other arguably overly-ambitious-project-where-I-bit-off-more-than-I-could-chew ...

H A I R.

Hair has been the bane of my existence for about the past week( ... weeks? Maybe two?), most of it involving cursing, a lot of reverse-engineering game meshes and smashing my head against blender. But if not already evident from my monowire post - I am a stubborn bitch with too much time on my hands so even though there were at least two moments where I wanted to curl up on the floor under my desk and just stay there - we got there.

This all started because my favourite hair mod which I cannot split from my V’s identity was acting funky and the shape of it had been altered since a physics update. It wasn’t her anymore. So I needed new hair. I tried editing the existing hair. I tried importing the old hair mesh. I tried so many things and they didn’t work out one way or they threw a million errors or there were an obnoxious amount of verts.

I even tried looking for replacement mod hair. None of them fit, all of them felt too ‘clean’ for my V. So I just concluded: FINE. I’ll make my own damn hair. From scratch. At least then I’ll actually KNOW what’s going on with the mesh, right?

Problem with hair is tutorials are very limited in respect to Cyberpunk, so I had to learn a lot of this by myself and looking at other processes used for building game hair. I’ve had a previous stint in game design at uni but it was very introductory and more broad-strokes concepts not specific stuff like what ‘real time hair’ is and how you actually go about placing hair-cards (there’s a million different ways btw) but after another 3 days smashing my head against blender I finally got shit to work to a satisfactory level using hair tools for blender and the particle hair grooming system (not the 3.5 blender system, maybe more on that at some point).

Putting together the hair cards I was 120% convinced this was going to blow up in my face, primarily through vert count. But this hair tool plugin? Alarmingly efficient. I was frequently checking my work against Alt's hair mesh (one I was planning on rigging to) and here's the final-ish stats -

This is with only Alt's hair mesh selected (no cap) and then only my mesh(s - lots of layering to build it up), and by comparison I felt I'd built up the density of a chinchilla. This is not a brag, this is mostly genuine confusion over how efficient this plugin is, all I did was smack around hair curves. It did all the UV mapping junk on the fly.

Although structurally complete, I still consider this a WIP (yes I know there's a reeeeal fun vert funkiness in that second render, it's been fixed) since I'm having to go back and fine-tune some of the UV's the plugins mapped that I'm not happy with and generally figuring out my density problem because if anything, after putting it in-game it felt too dense.

Because yes, somehow I got it in game.

WITH. PHYSICS.

This may have driven me absolutely up the wall between having to learn blender from scratch then what the heck real time hair is and how that works etc. etc. but ... god, seeing her move back from the mirror and just feeling that instant catharsis of 'IT'S HER!' made it so. Damn. Worth it.

It looks too thick - this might be because I chucked in the 'doubled' feature Wolvenkit comes with because I hadn't spent any time doing backfaces. But it also might be because it's black? That's going to need investigating.

The physics need a lot of work too, I did a pretty rushed weight painting job last night on a merged version of the mesh because I was worried whether it was even viable and I'd already dumped an insane amount of hours into this between trying to salvage the old hair and building a new one (with some more bells and whistles. Mainly - curly). That wasn't without it's issues -

This almost fucking cracked me, given this was one of the issues I was experiencing before trying to fix an existing mesh mod. Turns out I was just being dumb and forgetting to export the armature, which I'd thought I wasn't supposed to do after having blender throw a bunch of errors on other hair attempts. I gave it a try after one last shot and boom. Worked. (I dunno what those errors were about man but now I know armature? very important).

Will I release this hair? no damn clue, depends on if I can get it to a level I feel is 'releasable'. I already know what I'm calling it though - Venatrix her side-handle I've decided on.

I look forward to adapting it into maybe a comb-back version, as well as a tied up version, so I can show off both her undercut + have the option of NOT hiding every damn tatt I've obsessed over placing on her neck haha.

In other news -

My much-needed wacom tablet replacement arrived (as well as other things I was looking forward to 👀) meaning my Wacom Cintiq, workhorse of ten years can finally enjoy her retirement. Her controls were getting funky, she had a few dead pixels but man. I'm convinced they won't make them like her ever again. Either way she's done unfortunately - upgrading my monitor to 2k made this painfully obvious. I don't think it's even running in full HD, it's that old. And with Phantom Liberty coming out this year? I'm probably going to need a new videocard and DVI compatibility isn't really a thing anymore.

So for future I think I'll just stick to the basic tablet set up, invest in screens. Also now I FINALLY know what her hair is gonna look like and with the tablet here, I can get back to work on the tattoo bodysuit.

Anyways, that's it for now! (Jesus Christ did you really read all of this? If you did you're a fucking trooper). Sorry for the extended ramble but MAN I did a lot, I needed to yell.

Till next time Chooms! Thanks again @theviridianbunny for the tag~ <3

Oh shit wait, have the blender renders before I forget because hahah I figured out how to do that too lol -

[fexalted]

wip title game: father and forgiver, words never spoken

and you know what, just to induce some randomness, one of the untitled gf ones of your choice <3

wip title ask meme

father and forgiver: answered here!

words never spoken: oh man, so. this is the brain trauma au, aka the au where ford getting repeatedly zapped by lightning during weirdmageddon has degenerative effects, that unfortunately don't become evident until he and stan are already out on the boat. and at the same time, stan starts having more frequent memory lapses

i wrote So Much of this, and it's all v melodramatic and sad, but not all that medically accurate fhfkshfk so looking back on it i kinda cringe bc of that. and esp after learning more about how to depict disabilities in fiction i'm like "man i wish i had done this better." i'd love to go back and give it the rewrite it deserves but it would def be a big task

most of this is straight up angst but here's a lil funny moment i still enjoy:

It's funny, you never really thought of yourself as old—perhaps because you never really expected to live this long—but now you keep seeing signs of your age in nearly everything you do. Your hands are less steady, your steps are less sure, and you find you get worn out a lot faster than you used to. Even your mind doesn't feel quite as sharp anymore. You could almost laugh. You finally stop running, and it all catches up to you in the blink of an eye.

"It's not fair," you gripe to Stanley as you do the dishes one evening. "At this rate I'll be drinking prune juice and going to bed at 8:30 by the end of the month."

"Happens to the best of us, Poindexter," Stanley chuckles a little too gleefully, clapping a hand on your back and making you nearly drop a clean plate back into the sink. "I'm just glad to see you acting your age for once."

"Mm, yes, I'm sure you are," you say wryly, yawning despite the early hour of the evening and the cup of coffee you had with dinner.

"You better rest while you can," Stanley jokes, grinning. "I'm not gonna be picking up your slack once we set sail!"

"Oh? And why shouldn't you?" you tease back, mirroring his grin. "You are the younger twin, after all. Seems only fair you should give your poor older brother a break by doing more of the work." You dry your hands and hang the damp towel around Stanley's neck. "In fact, why don't you start right now by washing the rest of these for me?"

---

gf 5: post-finale fic where ford, worried about the effects of the memory gun, talks stan into getting an MRI. during the scan, stan gets a flashback to being trapped in a car trunk and starts panicking. stangst central babeyyy

btw did you know the magnet is always on. this singular fact cemented my headcanon that ford's metal plate is not magnetic bc otherwise i would have to throw this whole fic in the trash sgfkshfkdjf

anyway here's a tiny paragraph of the aftermath (bc i never wrote anything past it):

You stop just outside the front doors—taking long, slow breaths of crisp September air, feeling the sharp edges of your keys dig into the palm of your clenched fist—and you tell yourself you're only doing so to calm down and clear your head again, and it's not at all because it's taking you a moment to remember where you parked your car.

[squarebracket-trickster]

Okay, actually, you know what, here's the master list of all my current original fiction WIPs. Because I feel the need to prove that some of them do have actual names. For honour's sake.

WIPs with actual names:

The Game duology: I Lost the Game and [unnamed sequel] - functionally WIPII

Evil Plans Trilogy: How to Take Over the World, How to Rule the World, How to Destroy the World (+ companion novels: Nefarious Schemes, Villainous Plots, How to Save the World) - functionally WIPIV

Evil Plans AU (Alien Universe) Trilogy: How to Conquer the Universe, How to Reign Over the Universe, How to End the Universe - also WIPIV

Tall Tales of Terribly Tempest Tseas Series - functionally WIPVI

Old Timey Pirates Duology: Good Ol' Fashioned Piracy and Ye Olde Skull and Crossbones - functionally WIPIX

Princess of Decay Trilogy - functionally WIPXI

Swincorn Classical Academy of Magic (S.C.A.M.) series - originally WIPXII

I am actually so proud of every single one of these names. If I trad pub these books I will fight to keep these names. These names are final and will not be changed.

WIPs with working titles that will probably be changed later:

House of the Windtaken series - functionally WIPVIII

WIPs with numbered placeholder names because idk what to call them at this point. The title is either one of first things I know about a story or it is the last thing I will figure out. (The only exception to this rule so far has been S.C.A.M. which I figured out after a significant amount of worldbuilding.)

WIPI (fucking massive series)

WIPIII (trilogy)

WIPV (series)

WIPVII (standalone)

WIPX (standalone)

WIPXIV (four books)

WIPXV (idk at this point)

WIPXVI (also idk)

On the other hand... my WIPs in order of priority (subject to change on a whim):

WIPVII - 60% done draft 3

WIPI - stuck on worldbuilding, stuck on plot

S.C.A.M. (WIPXII) - stuck on plot (got stuck 25k into a first draft, decided to scrap it)

WIPX - stuck on plot

Evil Plans (How to Take Over the World etc.) (WIPIV) - avoiding research that will probably get me put on a list hehe

Princess of Decay (WIPXI) - needs more direction

WIPIII - stuck on worldbuilding

The Game (WIPII) - needs more direction, ideas

WIPXIV - needs more ideas, putting it off bc it's a very new WIP and older WIPs get priority

WIPV - still only have a vague idea of what I want for it

Old Timey Pirates (WIPIX) - no idea what the central conflict is

WIPVIII/House of the Windtaken - no idea what the conflict is

WIPXV - yeah I got nothing but vibes for this one so far

WIPXVI - not emotionally ready to write it yet

Tall Tales of Terribly Tempest Tseas (WIPVI) - waiting bc these are my dad's stories to tell first.

so uhh yeah... my WIP having a name has nothing to do with where it sits on the priority list ahem

--

BTW - anyone who is interested in my WIPVII content #wipvii is the most used tag on my blog. It has all my snippets and writing updates and live-blogging thoughts. I don't post full chapters though.

[microraptorreactor]

I feel like dumping out my box of OCs like one would do a box of lps so very long post filled with very many doodles ahead!

Reference for my Rainworld oc, Lost! He's an idiot kid I made for one joke but now he lives in my brain. I think I made this reference for him last year? Idk I don't remember. I'm just now realizing that Lost snuck into my V2 characterization lmao.

Elysium art of various ages! Made between 2021-2023 I believe. This is the oc I made before I knew what Ultrakill was and everyone thought I was making an Ultrakill joke. Tbh if it wasn't for the fact that I MADE Elysium and have their early sketches I wouldn't believe they weren't an Ultrakill reference either. Speaking of which, here's some animations from when Elysium was both a quadruped and a model of robot instead of an individual. These were both made for a class in 2021.

VERY old art (2020 I think? I wasn't using my screen tablet yet) that I normally wouldn't include if it weren't for the fact my friends would explode me if I mentioned Elysium and Lost without mentioning Nerve. She was an anxiety-ridden warforged cleric who got tragically sent to the vampire realm. Whenever Nerve comes up in discussion one of my friends brings up how I made him cry with her final speech. I don't remember tf I said lmao.

Art of my His Dark Materials OC, Zurial! Art would have been made 2022 onwards. I made her WAY back in 2019 before Hazbin Hotel even had a pilot but unfortunately now she looks like a Hazbin angel and I feel weird drawing her. Which is really unfortunate because I love her dearly, she's one of my favorite OCs. She's also the only oc I have who I've made a plushie for. Why did my character design have to accidentally look like the works of famous youtube animator Vivian Medrano T-T

(here's her plushie btw. I'm really proud of it lol.)

Here's Niphit, one of my Warframe OCs! Some of y'all might recognize her as my AO3 pfp, but her design has changed since then. The bottom reference sheet is her most recent design. She's kind of conceptually similar to Baeri/Sleet/-31 from SftBT, in terms of hacking shit and having a snout and teeth. Biggest difference is that she is a whole ass hivemind, usually pretty harmless, and also considered pretty young.

Shameless CR:K fanchild OC. Her name is Golden Parmesan Cheese Cookie (Parm or Parmesan for short) and she's also, like, an AI copy of a dead person. Or a dead person's soul trapped inside an eternal simulation? Either way she's got SO many issues. I have a massive chatfic wip from when I decided to try writeing something with her.

Okay I know technically this is a Homestuck OC but I like to say she's a Hiveswap OC. Because I played Hiveswap and loved it but never read Homestuck. Anyways her name is Vintan she's a yellowblood.

Whoa an original character! Yeah this is Corion, they come from my brain. I have a whole story concept about post-apocalyptic robot cowboys (and human cowboys) that I've done a couple doodles from but never written down. Corion serves as a sort of living taxi, guiding or carrying people across the wasteland. They are a secondary protagonist, I don't think I have art of Pike and Amelia, the actual protagonists. One funny fact about this universe is it contains a character named V1 (pronounced Vi, still written as V1) who I can no longer use for obvious reasons.

But yeah! Ramble over! Not anywere near all of them I just wanted to talk about my brain children XD

[vhvrs]

oh my gawddddd i know i already went off in the tags abt it but SERIOUSLYYYY that pmv is so so sooo incredible. like i saw it 12 hrs ago now and im still in like stunned shock abt it. super super awesome. if u have any fun like behind the scenes info abt it id love to hear but if not just… WOWWW thanks so much for making it even. life changing genuinely

EEP THANK YOU. SO SO MUCH!!! thank you so much i got into a crazy fixation state making it in time n was worried abt the end result bc of it as the died but!! incredible relief now. going to babble at u for a sec as my form of gratitude gbgbvb

id share my thumbnails but i kindve deleted them bc they were lagging my phone + i tend to delete them for my pvs BUT i do still have this video here of the wip version of it i made w them! my process is really just lie in bed for hrs to the song thinking -> making thumbnails -> putting the thumbnails together in whatever (i used capcut in this case) to create a template ready to be inserted w the finals -> uhhh make the finals!

was trickier bc i cut like a minute of the song for the sake of the.... story?? of the pv flowing better. specifically the part where the song glitches out over prime lunging at c137 + where rick sees the beths. and bc i do NOT think i could do a 3min pv. ive never done one this long b4 as is fhfgvb

theres also arrow cues in the wip so i can complain abt how annoying it is capcut doesnt have a simple slide or zoom feature. i really wanted to have the living room & evil rick on the ground frames slide -_- this is also why the zooms kindve stutter bc i had to combine a zoom in and zoom out effect. but i have to cope w the programs im using

oh heres the variants flashing part bc in order to have it actually zoom how i wanted i had to make them a separate video to import in

BTW. THUMBNAILS (1st not finished bc it was from an old file but rest recovered from trash) (u can see i was actually planning to do the full song. the final page is misc glitch frames bc i had realized i didnt have enough)

SORRY if thats way too much info i can talk abt any specifics too but i always wanna share my process w stuff so fhvbb thank you for asking + again for the epic words o7

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

HOLD ON WAIT UP HOLD THE PHONE

I KNOW I WAS GONE FOR A FEW MONTHS THERE BUT HAS BLUE LIKE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF A SERIES OR IS THAT A NEW DEVELOPMENT???

I FEEL LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN FUCK Y E A H

Okay so

I...

have been cooking

by which I mean illusions of grandeur and

schemes

And I have not been forthcoming lol Everyone kind of disappeared all at the same time so I kind of stopped talking about what I'm doing but I have been biding my time, quietly putting mechanisms into motion and plotting and occasionally cackling over my cauldron.

I finished the first draft of Blue like don't forget about me and didn't like it so I cut out all the sci-fi fantasy stuff (bye bye aliens farewell superpowers) and in November wrote a new first draft that's all contemporary romance babeee and I'm so in love with it I'm turning it into a little 3-part (possibly 4 if I can't control myself) series.

The original childhood years have been split off into a prequel novella called Red like my bleeding heart in your hand. Then Blue like don't forget about me will take place 20 years later. Nash works at Cherished Hope Nursing Home

“And what is it you do? At the nursing home, I mean.” I wipe shit off of old people. And Teddy’s a hockey player. What’s Luke, an underwear model? He shouldn’t have come.

Teddy comes back to town for a funeral and

Teddy looks at him for the first time in twenty years and every ounce of warmth leaves his expression. Message received. He should not have come.

OKAY SO AND THEN the next book will be Jo's POV and is called Violet like these delights. and MAYBE there will be a 4th from Luke's POV bc he gets to live this time by the grace of god (me) but it'll depend on how Violet goes (its current state is mostly vibes and a single overarching theme so, stand by).

Red needs a clean-up round of edits to snip out the few little threads that connected it to OG blue. And rewritten blue is basically done. I've done the major revisions and am about to start line edits and after those are done I'm sending it out to beta readers (lmk if you're interested).

There are concise actual summaries in my pinned post btw lol

WHICH REMINDS ME

The series title is Wildflowers of Deliverance. Which I'm extremely proud of. Did you notice did you notice how each title incorporates a wildflower did you did you? and the town they grew up in where Nash and Teddy first met is called Deliverance!!! It's okay I know I'm a genius.

And this brings us to the meal okay? because like I said I've been Cooking™ quietly but steadily for a few months now. ANd what have I been cooking? PLOTS and PLANS

I've decided on a pen name: Sarah B. Elisa

I've created a(nother) side blog for it that will be exclusively centered on my og writing and geared more toward readers rather than writers like this blog is: @sarahbe-writing

I'm going to create a website (as soon as I convince myself to spend money)

and a newsletter (as soon as I convince myself to spend money and do work)

I'm still waffling between trad publishing and DIY. I really like all my hats and it would be a shame to have to share them but oh my god I don't want to do all the marketing but trad pub seems hit or miss on how well they market you so I might get half of my hats taken away and still have to do the marketing bullshit UGH

anyway

OH YEAH and the OG draft I wrote for Blue? I'm going to spin it back to its OG OG roots [parkner, naturally--Return of The childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to super-powered rivals to reluctant allies to friends to lovers finally wip!!! AKA: We Were Gods (we were kids)] and that will fix all the things that went wrong and I didn't like 😌 so it's basically like double Christmas I think

[fuka-petals]

hi guays since this is taking forever have wip post

Melly belongs to @fishheartss (Melly)

I'm never drawing with digital acrylics again (lying btw)

no hand cause hand holding gregors send help his design is killing me

also subject to change cause I love adding extra shit once characters are done

for now I'm gon finish another Mellow fanfart (yyyaaaayyyy) then finally make a first post for a mermay themed floyu ask blog then return to thiz (send help my other two comm wips are 2 customs that are extremely detailed and 2 dbz styled pieces with extremely detailed characters they're two weeks old by now and are fucking killing me I need to regain my artist strength)

ps go follow Melly they're super silly and post abt gregor a lot 🙏🙏🙏

[rickie-the-storyteller]

WIP Title Meme Tag

Thank you very much to @rbbess110 for tagging me to do this! I've never done this one before.

RULES: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the most intriguing title, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs. (this part is optional tho)

The thing is... all my writing files are all over the place lol. That being said, I have some good titles that hopefully you guys will like a lot! I'm looking forward to seeing what you guys ask about my work.

Most of my file names are chapter titles.

Steph's Crew: The Misfit Manifesto

Exam Week

The End (of February Mocks)

Life with B

Nothing but the Truth

A Million Lives (and all of them suck)

Suspended

Life Without B

Why I Could Never Be a Rebel

Detention

The Aftermath

Bret 2.0

Half Term

Ben's Leaving Party

It's Too Late to Apologise

Climbing Uphill (slowly but surely)

Figuring Life Out (it sucks, but it's necessary)

Times Are Changing

Moving On

Alice's Sitcom-esque Family

I Have a Crush on You

Where Are You, Ben?

How to Get Back on Track

Movie Night's with El

I Miss My Man

Is This What Love Is?

Boyfriend

Anything Could Happen (almost)

Honeymoon

Library Sessions

An Unexpected (and Unwanted) Visitor from the Past

Drunk, Lonely, Miserable Losers

We Don't Talk Much Anymore... and It Sucks

A Night to Remember

A Night I'll Probably Never Forget

Where's Steph?

Leaving on a Jet Plane

The Beginning (of our final exams)

Epilogue (Stephanie's letters to her friends)

There. That's all the chapters in order (at least, I hope it's in order... idk tho). Something about this story that's really fun is that each of these chapters is in the perspective of a different character! Originally, it was just in Steph's POV (it was supposed to be her journal). I'm still very much in the process of editing this one, so some of these could still change in future (some of these chapter titles are way too long imo).

Steph's Crew: Unreported Violent Crimes

This is the sequel to the first book! I've only started it a couple of months ago... so there aren't quite as many this time. It's not quite finished yet, but I'm definitely going to add more chapters to this later!

The News Report

So, Some Guy Died Last Night...

Pillow Talk

The History of Stephanie and Ben

To Take Matters into One's Own Hands

Visiting an Old Friend

Stephanie's Upbringing

I've Never Had a Best Friend

The Story of Em and Jack

This is a story that I'm posting on Wattpad! I've already posted chapter 1, but I've got all these other chapters in the works as well:

Jemily

Flashback #1 (Elementary School)

Friends

Summertime

Meeting Mom

Jen's Party

Flashback #2 (Freshman Year)

"You broke me."

Back to School

"I think I loved you."

The Best Friend Zone

Flashback #3 (The First Breakup)

Square One

Thinking about the Future

Homecoming

Together

Be Good

"Let's NOT fight about this."

Fast-forward (College)

Another story that I'm planning to post on Wattpad is my Five Seconds Flat series... but I'm not going to post any of my file names/chapter names here, because it's literally based off of the Lizzy McAlpine album of the same name lol. All the chapters are titles from the album. Here's a link to it in case you want to see it, though (the album is awesome, btw. Hope you guys enjoy it!!):

AU

(I'm posting this series here in September! So you guys will get to see this very soon... I'm super excited! There are 10 chapters this time - this story has an ensemble cast of characters, and each chapter has a new focus character. There isn't a single "main character" - though some characters appear more than others)

1: “Starting Point" (focus character = Zephyr)

2: “Meet Cute” (focus character = Eurydice)

3: "Just This Once…" (focus character = Caius)

4: "Junebug" (focus character = Juniper)

5: "New Friends" (focus character = Cassius)

6: "Don’t Be a B-word" (focus character = Avalon)

7: "Say it with Chest" (focus character = Isadora)

8: "Things Shouldn’t Be Like This" (focus character = Adara)

9: "Hey, Brother" (focus character = Xander)

10: "Shut Up, Marcy!" (focus character = Marcelline)

Imma tag these people to do this next: @fayeiswriting, @kirsten-is-writing, @e-s-willswriting, @jay-avian, @clairelsonao3, @sarahlizziewrites, @mjparkerwriting, @silverslipstream, @winterandwords, @exquisitecrow, @elizaellwrites, @writingalterras, @thecreakywriter, @sam-glade, @hollyannewrites, @ryns-ramblings, @autumnalwalker, @toribookworm22, @blind-the-winds, @falesiacats, @j-1173, @gummybugg, @jessicawestonauthor, @thelavenderwriter, @jay-avian, @mysticstarlightduck

[randomtacoscry]

WIP Wednesday

Okay, so I've never done one of these before, but I wanted to ask for some input on my wip so far. Be aware:

This WIP is far from published!

I just wanted to see how it did on tumblr and maybe try to see if anyone is interested in this kind of story. DISCLAIMER: I am not much of a writer (this is my first official fic- I have written unpublished drabbles and one shots though), so apologies if this sucks. (There is more below the break btw)

“Would it change anything?” Pete asks through a tightened throat and he doesn’t feel Tom’s hand shift, almost like he was expecting Pete to say this. Tom doesn’t answer, at least not verbally, but his eyes tell Pete everything, like they always have. 

It couldn’t. 

Pete and Tom knew the consequences of their relationship. They knew they would never be a regular couple, able to hold hands out in public, or tell friends and their jobs about their relationship. 

But I wish it did. 

Tom didn’t want this either; apparently it was up to higher powers to make both of their decisions for them, no matter what they wanted. Pete didn’t choose to lose Goose. Or Carole. Or to never know his father. And Tom never chose to live in a society like this; where he had to choose between his dream career or a secret that would tear both of their reputations to shreds in a heartbeat. 

Tom closes the distance between them, leaning down to place his forehead against Pete’s. Their breathing matches pace, clicking them together naturally, as if four months haven’t passed since they’ve been together. He feels Tom’s other hand come to the left side of his face, holding onto it like it’s the last thing he’ll ever touch, before the man leans in to press their lips together. 

Pete hates that he kisses back. Hates that his hands grip Tom’s forearms automatically before deepening the kiss. He hates that Tom moves his hands to Pete’s back and presses them even closer together, and that he knows he likes that. Pete lets himself grip the back of Tom’s shirt and he hates that Tom knows what that means. 

Tom pulls the plain gray shirt over his head before continuing to kiss Pete harder. He lifts the hem of Pete’s shirt, placing his cool hands on the warm skin of Pete’s waist, causing him to stiffen at the drastic temperature change. Pete needs Tom closer… he pulls his shirt off, pressing their chest together before finally breaking the kiss off. He rests his head on Tom’s chest, breathing heavily to catch his breath.

This is a bad idea.

Pete feels Tom’s breathing soften and he uses his forehead to push his head off the other man’s chest. He keeps his eyes down before (he already hates himself for this) pressing a kiss to Tom’s collarbone. 

“Are you sure?” His voice is just above a whisper and Pete feels weak for nodding his head ‘yes’. He looks up at Tom and they lock eyes. They both know what each other is thinking-

This is a bad idea…

Tom presses Pete’s chin up and leans down to kiss him and it almost feels like old times. Like they’re in their old, shared assignment and Pete is home on shore leave. Like their relationship is perfectly fine and they’re just enjoying their time together. Back then it felt like nothing was looming over the both of them…

Tom pushes Pete into his bedroom, barely breaking kisses before trailing a line down his neck.

I know this is only about 500 words (don't worry I have more), but I did NOT want to spoil some MAIN plot points. If you have any tips, ideas, or critiques, they are all welcome (whether anonymously, in the tags, or comments)! Thanks for reading! (This is also a first draft, so hopefully it will become more polished in the future.)

18+ below:

Also, any idea how to write M-rated? If anyone has any fics that can help me grasp how to write smut (not really explicit-level), that would be great. I literally have no idea what I am doing, but I would like to make this fic M-rated.

[project-aphelion]

05.24.2023 - Chapter 7

Word Count

> Chapter 7: 4632

> Total: 41464

Whale whale whale. The last time I updated was in June 2022. It’s basically been a whole year. What happened? I’m glad you asked!

First: I was just getting kinda tired or and burnt out by this story. It’s quite large and there’s quite a bit of intricate worldbuilding and backstories that weave through the narrative, so it uses up a Lot of my problem-solving brainpower. I got stuck in chapters 6 and 7 and couldn’t get unstuck, so I decided it was time to take a break from APHELION.

Second: But that doesn’t mean I stopped writing! I moved onto my backup wip, SUDDENCE, which is much smaller in scale and much shorter. I thought of it as my breath of fresh air, and I reasoned that if I managed to finish a draft of it, it would make me realize that i CAN write a whole story, and I would get a new surge of motivation and confidence for APHELION.

And what do ya know! I finished draft 2 of SUDDENCE last week! It clocks in at 49k words (which is more than what APHELION has so far, which is. wild) and it taught me a valuable lesson: KEEP IT SUPER SIMPLE. My problem with APHELION was that it was much, much, much too complicated for no good reason, and I had to learn how to pare things back.

That’s something I kinda knew for a while, but working on SUDDENCE really just drove it home, and it gave me practice for how to simplify things.

What’s Different?

So anyway! I know I skipped Chapter 6 (oops) but I finished Chapter 7, which is Rian’s chapter. In this one, he struggles with the idea of running away and having his own life vs. staying and helping ~save the world~. “Saving the world sounds pretty noble, why would he run from that?” BECAUSE you see the people he works with (or rather, for) may not have entirely noble intentions and helping them might end up (and did) hurt people. And Rian doesn’t want that on his conscience! But if he runs away, he loses his avenue to do good to the world because he’s just a 13-year-old kid. He doesn’t have the resources and know-how to run around and perform miracles. Plus, he hates being on his own. This kid’s got a lot going on.

Changed:

The entire second half of the chapter was changed. Originally Rian is asked to perform an interrogation with his superpowers, and it goes on for a while, and it leads to this whole thing of him accidentally implicating Cay etc etc ANYWAY that was the part that was definitely too complicated for no reason, so now Rian just pretends he has a headache and manages to get out of doing it. The whole thing about Cay was just taken out entirely (it was too plot-conveniency anyway).

I also rearranged the general order of events. Can’t go too much into it because #spoilers.

Excerpt! Here’s Rian and Holly, AKA his only friend in the world.

Holly sighed through her nose and brushed the hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry, Ri. I know you don’t feel well. Eat as much as you can, alright? I can help you eat the rest.” She tugged at one of his curls, frowning slightly. “And then we can do something about this hair—”

“I don’t want to cut it.” The words came out stuck together like jam. He felt awful for talking back, and he didn’t know why. Just yesterday he had threatened to shoot her. Why did this feel like crossing a line?

“You don’t want to cut it?” Holly tucked the lock of hair behind his ear. “What about just a little trim? So we can get this”—she drew her finger across his brow, sweeping the hair once more out of his eyes— “out of the way? Would that be alright?”

Rian didn’t see a point in arguing, so he nodded.

Holly smiled. “Okay, then. Now eat your breakfast. It’s good, I promise.”

His breakfast is pancakes, btw.

Up next: finishing Chapter 6. It’s actually mostly done, and there’s just a bit of action in the middle I have to figure out. This is a loooong one.

In other news: I’m rereading the Grisha Trilogy now that I finally got my hands on physical copies. My kinda odd opinion is that while everyone seems to hate how slow and political the second book is, I kinda like that aspect. I think Bardugo is veryyyy good at political intrigue, which is why I liked the first half of King of Scars but not the second half and why I probably will never finish that duology.

C’est tout!

-Emily

[virgeandhis-pocket-protector]

Find the Word

The control f feature is an old flame of mine, so I've returned to finding words.

@late-to-the-fandom tagged me over at @pancakewithamace, but I'm reblogging with this blog since what i found was mostly Sanders Sides fic. Lol.

No pressure tagging: @glacierruler @i-will-physically-fight-you @lily-janus @transfemlogan @girlboypatton if y'all want, door's wide open! And anyone else who wants to do this. I will tag you in other stuff like this if you do though so be warned

Your pick! Share your last four lines, OR find the words sword, sky, smoke, and sin in your WIPs and post the excerpts (as long of an excerpt as you want btw). If... you dare.

If you can't find the words, find a synonym or pick your own!

I found the words desk, done, double, and dead in my WIPs.

Desk (From "Logan's Two Week Plan to Avoid Falling In Love")

Was this on purpose? Was Roman trying to make Logan suffer? Maybe this was part of his plan. Perhaps he'd find some way to prove that Logan missing and longing for Roman's affections this much meant he loved him. Wait. Logan blinked. Oh, good lord. Logan groaned, face palming, elbows resting on his desk. Well, shit.

Done (From "The Misfortunate Son" – not a SaSi fic)

“Of course, my sincere apologies,” Althorist said. A weight in Evian’s chest sunk downward as the devil’s tone deepened. “You need him. To speak with him, again.” “Where did you find that idea,” Evian muttered, ignoring the watery fog on the edges of his vision. It shouldn’t have hurt that much to talk about himself. He's done it all the time. “I want nothing to do with Icarus anymore. He’s ruined it.” Evian was lying through his teeth.

Double (From "I Hate Clichés")

Finally, a reply back from Logan: Really, the Hilton? That’s only a few miles away from my Double Tree. Virgil scoffed. Of course, Logan saved up in time for a better hotel. Virgil sent back: Small world, big city, huh? “Virgil, darling, where would you like me to hang your suit…?” Virgil’s boyfriend Janus stood off near the hotel’s couch. His voice was a song, sweet but impatient, and he waved Virgil’s purple tux around by the hanger on his finger.

Dead (From "Kingdoms for a Mind")

Logan glances off and skirts around Janus’s stare, buying him time to wipe away his tears. The prince was staring directly at him: no side-eye, no downturn of the nose, but direct. It was unnerving and unlike him. Janus sniffs by way of a conversation starter, and Logan looks over to him. His direct stare has not changed or faltered. Yet now, there is a strange shine to it. “Do you like him?” Janus asks lowly, almost breathlessly. His eyebrows make lines between themselves. Logan last remembered Janus use that tone when they had found Remus, half-dead in his prison cell – Will he be alright? — afraid and unsure. Or perhaps that’s just how just Logan feels right now.