#old school Cartman

[meegan420]

Old School Cartman South Park/South Paws 🐾

[fruityatty]

pokemon x south park sketches

[syrinq]

this one's from 10 september and it's like a south park episode but on drugs

it all starts out with stan marsh south park being moved from the regular class to the disabled class, because his brain was apparently going "???? i understand fuckall about all this" out of nowhere

then a bright disabled kid was moved from there to the regular class, like it was a 'student exchange'. then as time goes by, it turns out the regular class likes this new disabled kid better. stan gets so fucking pissed about that because in no way can he be lamer and dumber than a disabled kid

so stan forces himself to be a tryhard and get popular with the disabled kids in his new class, so he could prove he was fun to hang around with. but this didn't work.

then a scientist arrives in the regular classroom with one of those ancient old tvs on wheels. he breaks the 4th wall and addresses ME, like i'm a ghost standing there witnessing all this crazy shit happening. he tells me his tv can capture and visualise my dreams. he proves this by showing a dream, and it's the "dream intro" i had before this entire dream with the south park episode. i was like "wowzers! hey! that's the intro! that's my kickass dream intro!"

so this intro had random fucking clips like it was some stupid ''i'll die in 7 days'' the ring video tape. i saw bits of a barcode. some knights having a feast in a banquet hall. one was randomly murdered. etc.

the scientist tells me my dreams are bleeding together, and it'll be extremely confusing to tell them apart now. before i can ask more about it, the south park dream ends and i'm in my room, which is a fucking mess. i tried to take care of various pets kept in terrariums, but they've all escaped and made the space a hellhole to look at. because, little did i know, i actually forgot to take care of them. there were miniscule baby turtles. fish. frogs. spiders. a hand-sized khezu monster hunter.

from the looks of things, like the brown-coloured poop water in the aquariums, these animals had been dead and loose for a while. the finger-sized turtles had an ongoing escape plan from the spiders that tried to eat them. the khezu was rivalling with the spiders for turtle meat.

i tried to keep these animals separate but it didn't work. then i've got no time to wallow in being upset, because i'm suddenly transported to witnessing some monk meditating on a mountain, master shifu style. and then it shifts to old memories i've had in my life.

so, it was clear at this point that my dreams were bleeding together. but then some echo of the scientist's voice barges through and it tells me my memories are now merging with my dreams as well, and as a result my brain was basically collapsing. the scientist's point was, whatever strange phenomenon happened to stan south park, was happening to me in that very moment, and i couldn't do a single thing about my brain deteriorating for no reason.

awesome

[green-alien-turdz]

do u have any hcs for what the m4 would look like in middle school? 👀👀👀

The same, just with that awful middle school flare.

Headcanon time tho bcuz I'm insane n need to explain the shit happenin here (tw for sh n sewerslide attempts. but if you follow my bs this is nothin new)

Cartman: Bro was at PEAK loudmouth n fuck everyone shit, but at this point all mfs were pretty sick of it n he got into fights on the daily. Not to say he wasn't askin for it, he actually got a big kick outta pissin people off (nothin new as we know). He was pretty much doin this bcuz he didn't really care n couldn't process a lot of shit he was feelin so he would just take it out on everyone else.

Kenny: Overworked, stressed, n not fuckin blessed. If he wasn't at school, he'd be at city wok, which he was grateful for the cash, but it took a toll on him n his schooling. He was just tryin to take care of him n Karen as he watched Kevin just get worse n worse with the people he was hangin around. Conflict at home had him stressin big time. Catch them z's whenever the fuck he could.

Kyle: Bro almost never changes appearance wise due to insecurities. The scratches on his face are from a meltdown he had where he lost complete control of his actions n started hittin n clawin at himself (managed to convince his parents it happened in his sleep bcuz no one was home when the breakdown happened). This was a rather common thing to happen, seein as normal teenage horomones, mental illness, n eds are like the worst fuckin combo.

Stan: Legit the worst time of his life, both home n mentally. Around this time where he'd get super drunk n high to try n numb out everythin, but that would only start more shit of course. He felt completely caged in n stuck in life n in this cycle of bs. One night he spiraled pretty hard n impulsively tried to hang himself with an old belt. He pretty quickly freaked out n managed to get somethin under him so he could get back out. Uhh n misc. red hair bcuz he had started dyin his hair lots of colours (but usually red) for Crimson Dawn around this time.

[buttl0rd]

I'm watching like a hawk for that new kid 🤲 THE BABY

ALRIGHT HERE HE IS!! lemme introduce you to the new kid 👉👉

this is carroway - he's the best 😎👽

this is gonna be a long post cause i have so much art and content to gush about. i love this kid 👇

Some fun character details:

he was originally supposed to be like the 90's movie tough bully kid but he's ended up just being a stupid asshole. he probably likes to think he's really cool and tough 💪

has 3 younger sisters, hates being outnumbered by girls

huge foodie and finishes whatever you don't eat. not fussy at all

always leaving his mittens outside. they get all wet and gross in the snow

affectionately ripping on everyone he loves. he's a total asshole but most people know he doesn't mean half the shit he says. the real ones tolerate him 😔🤙

he doesn’t know he’s bisexual (don’t tell him, he’ll find out on his own)

Hobbies & Interests

Aliens. Carroway is a firm believer in alien life and has an immense interest in UFO sightings, alien communication and all things outer-space. He often brags to his classmates that he has been abducted and probed, and is friends with the Martians that visit South Park sometimes (do any of them believe him?). He has a telescope that he set up in his friend Dante’s treehouse which he uses to spot UFOs in the night.

FUN FACT: His probe is linked with Cartman's. It's the connection that makes it possible for OCs to exist in the same universe as canon characters.

Drums. He has a drum set in his garage on which he practices every day after school. He has exceptional rhythm and is very talented. He keeps drumsticks in his backpack just in case he encounters a drumset or anything he can make a beat with (tables, benches, trashcans, etc.) Neighbors complain to his parents about the noise, so his garage is sound-proofed to the best of Mr. Carroway’s ability. 

Snowboarding. Carroway goes snowboarding every few weeks. His family do snowboarding trips and he LOVES it. He also skateboards and rides his bike when he’s not up in the mountains, kid just likes to go fast. He dreams of being a professional snowboarder when he’s older.

TFBW: Boarderline

Boarder is a special flying support unit, part of Coon & Friends. He delivers high-impact quick attacks with his hoverboard and can heal/cure status conditions with his awesome space beams. As a speedster he utilizes the whole battlefield and is constantly moving, making him difficult to hit.

Origins:

He was a human that got abducted and genetically modified by Martians to serve and protect the alien race. After battling in many galactic wars he returned to his home in Colorado. His abilities were noticed by the superhero organization, Coon & Friends and Boarder was recruited to join their alliance. He provides support to Coon & Friends in battle.

Design:

Inspired by the gear he wears when he goes snowboarding.

His superhero costume consists of a white bodysuit with black tape accents and a big old metal zip. There's reflective blue strips on the gloves, boots and around the edge of his signature spaceboard. He's got these iconic space goggles that protect his face when he’s flying at the speed of light.

His name is a play on words - board (from his hoverboard) and borderline (being only just good enough for Coon & Friends). Allies call him Boarder for short.

SOT: Skullrogue

Skullrogue is Carroway’s Stick of Truth character.

He is a rogue-class unit and is quick and sneaky on the battlefield. He has a long black hooded cloak and a skull mask. His main weapon is a pair of daggers that are enchanted with flame magic. He cannot use magic himself but he is proficient with weapons, especially the daggers. He throws them and uses them to stab enemies in the back.

Skullrogue has an undisclosed edgy backstory, like any rogue player. He is mysterious and broody and so cool. He is loyal to the Wizard King and thinks Princess Kenny is hot.

Post-COVID

As a young adult, Carroway becomes a professional snowboarder and competes nationally in competitions. He becomes famous and earns a lot of money from his career, travelling the world for competitions. He makes it all the way to the Winter Olympics, representing the USA in the snowboarding category

After a career-ending injury in his mid-30's, he had to retire from snowboarding early and now lives off his sponsors and used-to-be-a-big-shot money. Despite being wealthy, he moved back to South Park and lives in a trailer (it’s easier than having a huge house). 

He sometimes needs a walking aid to get around and is medicated for chronic back pain.

He was too busy with his career to find love when he was younger, so he stays single and lonely in his 40s. He still goes out and does sport events, commentaries and sponsorships - he remains famous even though he cannot compete anymore. He’s like a living legend in the winter sports community. 

I'm still working on a PCOV design for him so stay tuned for that...

Anyway that's it for now!! I hope you love him 😘

[halliestinks]

Hi, i was wondering if you could do some wholesome headcannons for Y/N (who acts like Douchebag in the sot game) Thats like a sister to Cartman. His mother adores her and he likes to bully her. But when others do it hes like "No only i can >:/"

Cartman w/ reader who’s like a sister to him

a/n: this is an old request that’s been sitting in my inbox for over 2 yrs, decided to write it as my first request since i’ve returned :3

• oh boy, cartman as a brother figure could be both great and awful.

• having first met you he would notice how quiet and chill you are, trying to get you to crack on many different occasions (failing miserably everytime). he never really cared too much about you. however once you started to spend more time with him and you found yourself at his house quite often, you developed an unexpected sibling bond with him

• he would definitely take advantage of your silence whenever he asks for a favour, immediately roping you into any and all of his problems. (kind of like butters— however he doesn’t screw you over as much)

• the teasing is the worst part. he knows exactly what ticks you off and how to break your silent facade

“HAHAHA YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE!!”

“… 🙂”

• he knows when to stop though

• he unfortunately learnt his lesson after you beat the crap out of him for pushing you way past your limit!! (i just love sibling bonding experiences)

• aside from all of that… cartman is actually really fun to be around when he’s not being an asshole. the two of you usually spend your time together playing video games and doing random shit outside in the snow

• his mom absolutely adores you!!! she would constantly ask cartman if you would be coming over to their place later, always making sure to cook extra for dinner just in case

• cartman definitely gets jealous over his mom pampering you, thinks that she should pay more attention to her real son. and to piss him off even more, his mom always makes sure he shares everything with you

“but myeeeem… those are my cheesy poofs 🤬”

“😈😈”

• cartman’s mom is completely oblivious to any of the sibling rivalry, instead tells cartman he just needs to learn to share

• both of you have a silent agreement to always stick up for each other if either of you are being bullied, (not that cartman really needs help)

• i don’t think cartman would straight up defend you, however he would take your side in more subtle ways

“come on guys, let’s cut y/n some slack… otherwise she’ll get all depressed and probably start crying..”

“😐”

• but if anyone ever hurt you physically or did bully you to the point of actually hurting you, cartman will find out and go on a tangent about how he’s the only person who’s allowed to do that. plus if he’s in a bad mood then he’d probably figure out a way to ruin their life

• anyways.. at the end of most days, you find yourself sleeping on the floor in cartman’s room (he kicks you off his bed) and the two of you stay up late having silly conversations— finding yourselves laughing so hard to the point of tears

• until his mom comes in and tells you to go to bed because it’s a school night 🙄

• the two of you never listen, secretly doing an all nighter then feeling like absolute crap the next day. (it’s just a nightly tradition at this point)

• a lot of kids at school mistake you two for actually being related, which never fails to make you smile

• maybe he isn’t such a bad non biological brother after all

[suprsingr]

the thing about kyman that I don't think people understand is that if cartman one day just said Fuck it and told kyle he authentically for real and for true is in love with him, kyle might think he's full of shit at first, but as soon as he realized it wasn't fake he'd be like "aw :( that's so nice and so fucking sad and pathetic. y'know what? I'm gonna date you and get you into therapy and on medication and motivate you to do well in school and become a decent person and then as soon as that's done and I know you're emotionally regulated enough to handle it I'm gonna find you a partner who can actually love you back and finally get to move on with my life knowing that I made the world a better place."

and he would just keep telling himself that. they'd get married and have kids and on their thirtieth wedding anniversary toasting their eternal love in a luxury hotel room they just fucked nasty in for twenty whole old man minutes he'd still at the back of his head be like "I'm doing a very good deed by humoring him like this" and never see anything wrong with... any of that. and that's kyman

[pineappleciders]

Yoo hoo !! I’d like to request Butters, Craig, Wendy, and/or Tweek with a reader who is their older sibling. The reader is in their late teens & has the sarcastic older sibling thing going on, like the same vibes as Rodrick Heffley, Kat Stratford, or Daria. Thank you ^^

butters, craig, wendy, and tweek with a stereotypical older sibling reader

A/N: i'm the youngest out of 4 and my brother was very rodrick coded so this is based off that also i love this gif

butters stotch

honestly being raised by the same parents it's a miracle you didn't turn out exactly like him LMFAO

he is constantly getting noogies from you and whenever you high-five or pat his back you do it way too hard and he goes "owie" and then giggles. or cries idk

if you drive him around or pick him up from school he's always asking if you can stop at mcdonald's and gets all sheepish when you deadpan at him

looooves piggy back rides. put him on your shoulders or back and like pretend you're an airplane and he loves it. and then like throw him onto the bed and he gets all giddy and tells you to do it again

he's always knocking on your door and asking you to play or draw with him. he gets sad if you ignore him or tell him to go away

always dragging you into his games!!!!! like you don't want to but he does puppy eyes to get u to roleplay as professor chaos' enemy (or sidekick!) and if he makes you play with the rest of the kids too they all cry super hard when you destroy them😭😭(esp cartman)

he would forever think ur awesome if you got payback on cartman for him. like idk beat eric up or threaten him and butters thinks you're the coolest person in the world

craig tucker

lots of middle fingers. lots of them

when he flips you off you tug his middle finger up and slam it under his nose (like the 'you have something on your shirt' thing but with his middle finger LOL) and he gets all pissy after

you had to put a 'fuck off' sign on your door to get him to stop annoying you whenever he's bored. you two are always competing for your parents to take your side

you love to tease him about tweek. like you twirl your hair and giggle and kick your feet on his bed talking about how he's finally getting bitches while he's trying to do homework

you keep hiding his hats but somehow he always has another. he's like charlie brown but with blue chullo hats

lots of punching. you punch his arm all the time or swat his head and at first he retaliates but then you hit him even harder and he stops (albeit angrily)

trolls you all the time by messing up your room and fucking idk. he seems like the type of dude to set up a treasure hunt to find like your phone he hid or something LOL he sets up riddles and everything

you beat him up for it

calls you emo when you go through a phase and bullies you for it. you call him a homo and he shuts up

wendy testaburger

you're always ruffling her hair and flicking her forehead. like just in normal conversation it's a habit to flick her head or nose to emphasize a point

she definitely comes to you a lot about her problems, like socially and stuff. always ranting to you about stan in your bed and you're just praying that she shuts the fuck up

you have helped her with a lot of her issues though!!!!! like it's reluctant but you give her a lot of good advice about boys and friendships. even if you gag whenever she brings up her boyfriend

i imagine you listening to like. hard rock or metal when you're going through an edgy phase and wendy either makes fun of you for it or comes into your room and starts headbanging with you. probably both

always wants you to play games and do stuff with her. like she gets barbie and the twelve dancing princesses and is scratching and begging at your door for you to try it with her

and she LOVES just dance. you're like flopped on the couch out of breath because you're old as shit and she's like happily dancing away without breaking a sweat

if you're a girl, she's always making you sleep in her room and do skincare and girl stuff. she calls it 'girls night'. if you aren't a girl she still does it but she doesn't call it that LOL. makes fun of you if you don't want to do it because it's 'for girls'

tweek tweak

if you hit him he hits you back. hit him harder he hits you harder. he gets his ass beat but he is determined not to go down without a fight!!!!

when you work the same shift at tweek bros you're constantly slacking off and blackmailing him into doing all the work and not telling ur parents LMFAO. it annoys him so much

you spook him with like scary stories and stuff because you know he freaks out over it. and you regret it when he comes into your room at 2 am with a blanket asking to sleep in your bed tonight

he tells all his friends how you 'torture and bully him' and how much he hates your guts. but he really can't deny that he appreciates you when you're helping him with a panic attack

asks you how to be cool. you tell him you were just born that way and that he'd never be as cool and awesome as you are. he got sad

he isn't the type of sibling to tattle to your parents, but he will if he's trying to blackmail you or get you to do something for him. and he gets all smug about it too

tease him about craig and he gets super defensive. you pick him up by his collar like a kitten and he flails around all angry. it's hilarious but he forever holds u to a grudge for it

[kobebibebi]

well school has seriously taken over my life even if i want to draw so badly rn

so here's a very old idea i had for an au that I didn't get to finish (based off spookyfish) it does kinda suck LMAO it's very unserious

the gist was just basically like invert their every trait as best as i can

honestly i just took those traits from the south park fan wiki,, because im not that literate in words lolol

a huge inspiration/motivation (w spite) i have for this is the mirrorverse au but it just didn't align with me right how in mirrorverse it's JUST THE MORALS that are inverted and basically everything was the same,, there aren't much fanworks I've seen that actually try to make them the polar opposite instead of just south park but evil™ (isn't that just south park??)

and yk how the main 4 look like average kids, so i made them look not your typical ten year olds and personality wise they hate toilet humor

(also now that i realize i just made stan and kyle have fanon cartman traits/fashion skdhjd)

[thelovelybitten]

no bc why am I crying now

SAW YOUR OFFER TO WRITE ANYTHING SP RELATED AND INTERNALLY SQUEALED. Au of college age stendy in a long distance relationship? Maybe more specifically… she’s at a prestigious school in the east coast (obv the valedictorian of sp high) and pursuing a big finance job in the city , and he is still tryna find himself- in the military and in odd jobs around the country. still, they have reunions at the airport and spend time together whenever they can :)

First of all, AWWW HHSGGDFSH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AND I LOVE STENDY RAHHHHH. YES YES I WOULD LOVE TO DO THIS HERE WE GO.

COLLEGE AGE STENDY IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

-Stan will sometimes imagine what Wendy’s doing currently + imagine what life would be like if he had been able to attend the same school as she had

-Wendy makes an effort to meet up with stan for the holidays, and her presence alone always manages to cheer him up since he’s currently in a tough spot

-In addition to the last hc, whenever the two do meet up for the holidays, Wendy always gifts Stan a really fancy souvenir from around the area she’s staying at, one example was when she bought him this super expensive leather watch which he never took off after receiving it

-Stan doesn’t take too much time off of work leading up to the holidays so that he can earn enough to buy something considerate for Wendy when she comes to visit

-In one of her college lectures, Wendy was taught about the importance of written letters in the past and how lovers would communicate with this method during war time and or when they were away from one another and Wendy got really fascinated with inspired by this idea and started sending out hand written letters to Stan (she still texts him as well for convenience sake)

-Stan keeps all of Wendy’s letters, and keeps them in a box he saved from childhood which he now dedicated to those letters, and carries them with him wherever he goes so he can read them whenever he’s feels helpless and or out of luck (which is often)

THEY ARE SO CUTE. HELLO??!!!! Writing these was genuinely healing for me i am such a big Stendy truther for real man like wow. They are so real together and just mwah <3 i hope you enjoyed these as much as i enjoyed writing them.

[lovelykil]

─Headcanons─

kyle x reader older ver.

hc; random nsfw hcs

cw; nsfw

note; I'm back sorta I haven't been writing cause of school 😒 plus no motivation anyway 💁🏾‍♀️⤵

black reader implied (≧◡≦)

noww truth be told that there was this ONE time

heavy on the ONE

one time kyle actually was a little frisky and a horny shit at a sleepover.

WHAATT? The awkward dork who gets nervous from hand holding?

Yeah, okay. But it was only that ONE time.

Maybe something was just in the air or he drank something ordinary, not sure but the guys were all deep asleep on the ground, well hopefully.

Kenny resting on Cartman's stomach, his arms spiraled outward and legs while Cartman himself furrowed his eyebrow in his sleep from the light weight on his body.

Stan comfortably in his own spot, resting on his side as drool fell from his mouth.

Kyle looking up at the ceiling wide eyed and in a sweat with a slow growing erection on his bed next to you.

And you, on your side probably half asleep or about to actually fall asleep.

Kyle would look over at you, your curly hair out of its cap from forgetting it back at your house when you were packing a bag for the sleepover.

He saw your shoulders rise and fall slowly contemplating whether he should really bother you this late, well he didn't exactly know what time it was but he assumed it was late as fuck considering everyone was pretty much knocked out.

The more he stared at your shoulders the more his eyes just wandered down to your back and bottom, you were wearing an old shirt of his, might I say a big one.

All his shirts are big on you though, mf is tall asf ugh

Your legs were covered by the blanket but your ass wasn't.

And ohh my god surprise surprise, no shorts.

Who wears shorts with long t shirts anyway

I'm jk but you did take them off like right before crashing it was just hot in Kyle's room for some reason at that time.

His perverted gaze fell right on your slightly showing underwear.

he wanted so bad to touch you right now, his dick throbbed inside his boxers. He looked away trying to fight the urge. He was so horny right now for no reason it kinda pissed him off lmao.

He rarely ever does get like this, and at such a worst timing.. his friends?? omg

he bit his lip, his mind racing.

The ginger sat up to take a look at his friends, checking if the coast was clear. it was. Not a moving body in sight.. just sometimes obnoxiously loud ass snores from Cartman.

He laid back down with a sigh and let his urges take over after a little hesitation.

You let out a little yawn moving your legs ontop of the other in sleep so your bottom was basically there for easy grab.

Kyle had scooted close to you, his hand slowly running down your arm then rubbed your thigh. You shifted in sleep some bit from the touch, backing up into him.

Your butt rubbed against his boner, he grunted to this, sucking in his lip.

"Hey y/n.." seconds later from what you on did accident, he whispered.

You didn't respond, you were slowly getting sucked into dream land.

His arm sneaked toward your stomach he slowly pulled you closer to him, lining up his member with your clothed woman hood.

"baby.." he pleaded in a soft manner into your ear that just made you alert, someone was trying to wake you up.

You hummed a response, your eyes opening slowly now.

"mmh.. kyle?"

"yeah it's me sweetheart." He nudged his head into the back of yours causing faint tired smile to grow on your face.

"what's up.. mmh..?" Kyle fell silent, resting his chin on your head. He pondering for a moment then spoke.

"are you awake..?"

"...nah.. I'm sleepin."

"really?"

"...no kyle what you want?" you muttered, coming off a little annoyed from his question. I mean you were like half awake half not not his fault he didn't know 🙁

"sorry I'm just a little.. uhm.." He faltered again. You waited for his next word, trying not to fall asleep.

"You're what? Hungry, thirs–"

"Horny, I'm very horny right.. now baby.." a low whiney confessing slipped through his lips and into your ear. You felt something poke you from behind right after he admitted.

Your eyes open some more a little stunned, you were still tired but now much more aware of what was happening.

"The guys are down there kyle.."

"I know I know but.. fuck." He breathed, his warm breath was felt on your neck sending a shiver down your spine. Your stomach tingled when his hand reached your underwear, rubbing your pussy slowly.

"Can I baby? Will you let me?" kyle begged, softly now closer as ever.

You could just feel the warmth between you two it was making you hot..

You moaned softly as his fingers gently graced your cunt.

You didn't exactly know what to say I mean the thought of doing something like this right when his friends are in the room was kinda bizarre.. then again you weren't not.. not into this..

"mmm.. y-yeah go ahead.." You consented, giving him the green light to fulfill his urges. He smiled, kissed your cheek then brought his fingers to his mouth.

"Try to stay quiet, can you do that for me hmm?" He licked his middle and ring finger and began to go beneath your panties to rub your now wet temple.

You nodded your head with no words said, trying not to moan so much just control your breathing.

"Good job y/n." He kissed your neck ending his sentence with a smile, his fingers sliding themselves against your cunt some more. You sucked in your lips and felt your pussy begin to throb, wanting more.

He teased, rubbing your clit with a little snicker when you started to shift around, your breathing growing heavy.

"You want more baby? Tell me you do." His annoying teasing started to make you a little out of control and wanting to beg him to stop.

You weren't one to beg but shit..

"ah..mm.. kyle please.. I want more..." you trying to keep your volume down while being played with made that boner of his just grow some more into you.

"Mmmh okay since you sounded so pretty." He soon stuck his long pale fingers inside your slippery pussy. You gasped from the contact of his digits.

You always forget how fucking long they were.

"o-oh fuck.."

"You like that don't you? want me to fuck you with my fingers?" The teasing in his low voice made your cheeks warm and made you tight around him.

"mmhh agh!.. stop being such a tease.." You whined, growing flustered. He chuckled lightly, moving his fingers in and out of you slowly then picked up the pace just after a little more teasing.

always doing some shi like this 😒

"Alright Alright I'll stop, you just want me inside you don't you?" He moved his hips into your ass letting you feel his erection. Your mouth opened letting out a whine just after he moved his hips into you and slid his digits in and out fast just to hear mess up your speech on purpose.

"nngh- you.. asshole.."

"whats that? didn't hear you love." His fingers slid in and out of you more, his pace picking up soon you could hear the wet slippery noises from beneath the blanket that was half covering you.

You had to cover your mouth at this point, you were letting out to much noises as it already was,, your pussy was enjoying his fingers way to much, and he was enjoying your muffled out moans to his doing.

He wanted to fuck you so bad, he thought of just finishing you off with his fingers first then grab ahold of your hips to ram his throbbing cock inside your soaked cunt from behind and listen to you struggle to keep down your voice.

"uhh.. I need you inside me badly kyle,, mmh..!"

"Youu do? oh you're such a good girl for me sweetheart I'm going to make you finish first."

what's a short oneshot without my CLASSIC

good girl line 😫

Istg

You can't tell me he wouldn't say this he's all for praising

Whether it's during intimacy or just regular day stuff he still praises you

LIKE

"Oh you got a 90 on our math test? Good job sweetheart" 😁

AND

"oh fuck, you're such a good girl.. you're doing a good jo..job.. a-ahh.."

explodes

anyway

And so are you 😊

It was around midnight, everyone was asleep

Well your parents were

You and Kyle definitely weren't lmafo

good thing their bedroom was downstairs cause you were quite loud up in your room, your hair in a fuzzy mess, legs quaking in their spot and loud breathless moans escaping your mouth as Kyle held your legs open, his tounge venturing deep inside you. His thumb rubbed your pearl, driving you crazy and arching your back with a rush of pleasure flowing inside you.

Your hands eventually latched onto his thick hair trying to shove him away from the way his tounge licked your clit in such a way you squirmed and whined.

Even though you begged him to stop, your voice trembling, fingers stuck in curly red hair, sweat running down the sides of your dark skin literally on the verge of breaking

You actually didn't want him to stop.

It wasn't your safe word anyway and he knew, so he kept along, gripping your thighs and shoving his face like he was some dog.

"im.. I'm gonna come soon ky- oh fuck.."

You whimpered, your breath hot as well as the rest of your body. Kyle lifted up his head for a second and looked into your eyes.

"Just tell me when baby."

"o..okay.." He went right back down with a smile.

Soon you felt his tounge slide it's way back in letting out an 'aahh..' you gripped your blanket and panted heavy. You made some incoherent sentences to him in a breathless haze feeling your peak near.

"a-ah- I'm coming! coming.. f-fuck..-" Kyle rubbed your clit to satisfy you once more before you eventually came.

You felt like you just ascended, your eyes rolling back, body shaking with pleasure and your back arched soon all of it came to an end and you laid back down, trying to catch your breath.

Kyle came join you after caressing your thigh with care, he crawled his way to the side of you. He watched you pant heavily you looked over at him with a faint smile still trying to catch your breath.

He smiled back, his hand finding its way to your cheek to kiss you. As the kiss grew you slowly sat up for him and leaned into the long kiss, your tongue soon separated from his as you two panted together looking at each other.

Once your breathing was normal you giggled "I taste weird." You put a hand to your mouth. Kyle shook his head with a playing eye roll.

"You taste good." He brought your head to him so he could land a kiss to your forehead. You smiled to yourself, your cheeks getting warm.

"Thank you for that even though we were just bored." You picked up his hands to hold it with yours. He swung your hands with his a little with a smile.

"I love making you feel good, I love you– Wait did I make you feel good? Oh wait what if you just faked your orgasm?! oh my god I'm a horrible boyfr-"

"WOAH hold on- no I didn't just fake this MIND blowing orgasm you gave me it was real, you did such a great job baby remember that." You cut him off and kissed the back of his pasty white hand.

He blushed, smiling shyly at your words and watching you kiss his hand like some princess.

"Really?" He asked, wanting a little more reassurance.

"Yes really, now I need to find my sweat pants." You kissed his cheek and smiled at him then stepped off the bed.

Kyle's gaze fell on you as you stepped off the bed, a big giddy smile on his flushed face.

Reassurance was such a big thing for him plus the praising oh myyy lordd

As you took a step forward your legs immediately felt like jello and just as fast as you got up you fell on the ground with a shriek.

Kyle eyes widen in shock, he quickly rushed to your aid in a worry.

"ARE YOU OKAY.."

"I think I broke my legs or you just did I don't know I can't walk."

".. I'll go find your sweats stay in bed."

"And new underwear! I lost my underwear too."

"I- okay"

He has very noticeable scratches on his back it looks like he got attacked by a bear but in reality, it was you who did that 🙏🏾

In the locker room when he changes out of his basketball uniform the guys couldn't help but ask what the fucks up with his BACK

"Dude what the hell happened to your back? You didn't tell me you got attacked by a dog or something." Stan walked passed Kyle, his eyes fixing on his bestfriends body

Okay that sounds kinda gay but it isn't alright

Most of the guys agreed, staring at him. Kyle looked at them confused.

"What? I wasn't attacked by a dog? What's wrong with my back?"

"Go look in the mirror dude." Kyle's eyebrows rose, he set his shirt down to walk over to the mirrors.

He turned himself around to observe his lower half. To his surprise that shit was red as fuck, scratches everywhere he's not really sure how he didn't even feel the pain right now well until he touched one scratch.

He winced in pain, adjusting his shoulders back in discomfort. He looked in the mirror trying to remember how he even got those scars. Just seconds later when he looked down at his matching bracelet you got him his eyes widen.

Kyle had one day came home a little irritated from the lost of the basetball game, 20-24. Lost by four points. He blamed Kenny for getting distracted by those cheerleaders in their skirts and crop tops rooting for him.. no like literally they were just rooting for Kenny.

🧍🏾‍♀️

anyway he didn't pass the ball from his obvious attention towards the girls and the 4th quarter was just ending once the buzzer went off the crowd cried in disappointment, some teammates slapped the back of Kenny's fucking head shouting at him in frustration.

"DUDE STOP FONDING OVER THE CHEERLEADERS"

"Oh shit we lost?"

"YES"

"Oh my bad guys lmao" Clyde pushed Kenny and ran out off the court he felt tears start to form from the lost of the game. Tolkien groaned running after his friend.

"We did good guys alright? We'll get them next time." Tolkien reassured trying to be optimistic but secretly he wanted to slap Kenny in the face as he ran off to catch Clyde.

Kyle shook his head, he was too frustrated to even face Kenny right now so he walked off the court along with some other teammates, his one hand on his hip while the other pinched the root of his nose.

"Sorry I couldn't make it to the game I forgot I had an essay due literally tomorrow."

"Don't sweat it, we lost anyway." Kyle threw his bag onto the ground and laid straight on your bed with a huff.

You stopped typing and looked over at him, he was pretty bummed, pissed off even.

"Oh shit sorry, I'm sure you did your best." You rolled over to him, patting his head. He didn't say much except just stared off into the distance.

You awkwardly stopped petting him and looked around from the quietness, he didn't seem in the mood to converse.

"Okay I'm just gonna finish my es-"

"Come here." Suddenly he was brought back to reality, he reached for your hand, sitting up.

"Hm?" You looked back at him, looking into his green eyes. He paused trying to come up with something.

"Can you sit down over here.." He let go of your hand to pat a spot next to him. You looked at him then at your laptop that had your essay tap open, ready for it's finish.

You didn't think he would take long to say a few words to you so you listened to him, switching your spot to your bed.

Once you were next to him he looked at you and you could just tell..

This wasn't going to just a short talk.

"fuck, Kyle really?"

"Just for a bit.. I swear I just need to let some steam off." His hand fell on your thigh as he pleaded. You looked up at him, your eyes fixing back on your laptop set on your desk.

The clicker blinking every second.

"My parents might come home early."

"Well keep your voice down, yeah?" He started to take off his shirt. He set it down on the floor with your slippers by your bed. You watched, biting your lip down from nerves.

Though he looked so good right now, he was slightly structured his torso built well considering he does play sports he doesn't work out much but you could definitely tell he was healthy, and his waist..

oh god

You found yourself slipping off your shirt as well, taken away by your boyfriend's beauty. He went in-between your legs and cuffed your face, smashing his lips into yours with force. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to the hungry frustrated kiss you felt his fingers tug lightly on your thick hair, causing a low moan to escape from your mouth.

He bit your bottom lip with a smirk, pulling away for a second. He looked down at you, huffing. You stared back trying to hold back from tugging on his sweats.

"What?" You asked, as he kept staring into your soft eyes. He laughed shaking his head.

"Nothing it's just I felt a heartbeat from you. You want me don't you Y/n?" The teen cooed, inching toward your neck. Your eyes looked up in embarrassment, feeling your face heat up.

How'd he even know?

this boy is full of surprises one day he's a little angry cute nerd next thing you know he's a horny spaz, wanting to cum in you and bare his children despite being so young.

"Well I mean yeah, it's kinda hot when you're forceful."

"Oh really?"

"mhm-mh.." He backed away and examined your face.

Your eyes kept traveling down to his sweats growing a bit impatient, your body temperature was rising every second he looked at you.

He very quickly took notice, grinning. He tugged on the strings of his sweats, undoing the tie.

"Why don't you help me take them off so I can finally fuck you baby?" He whispered, his tone sensually and playful.

"oh fuck" you muttered, already starting to feel your climax by the sound of his voice.

You reached out and helped him undo the tie, he watched with a smirk his erection was already poking through the sweats.

"oh, you good girl.."

Soon later your nails were digging into his skin, his cock ramming into your cunt fast, too fast you couldn't think much at the pace he was going your brain was practically mush, your moans grew louder with every rough thrust he did, grunting right by your ear.

Your hair bounced along with his, some of his curls would slowly fall in his face as he thrusted himself into you. You sometimes giggle and move away the curl to crash your lips into his then pull away whenever he slid himself in and out fast, feeling his dick roughly ruin your insides.

Your nails just clawed the fuck out of him when he did that, the twitching sensation from his dick inside you as he hit your womb made you scream his name and gasp for air.

He'd whisper you lovely words in a sweat, next to your ear or above you.

'lovely words' being

"Oh yeah you like that don't you? Taking in my cock like the pretty girl you are."

"I'm going to fucking cum in you so hard baby, make you such a gre..great mommy."

"ohh shit you feel so fuck..ing good around my dick, I can't.. even uhh.. fuck.."

:3

And that's when Kyle's flashback ended, his face was red as fuck his thought process coming to an abrupt stop. He rushed back to his locker, shoving his clothes in there.

"You saw them?"

"Y-Yeah.. I uhm." He put on his sweater then closed his locker. The guys looked at him expecting an explanation from what they were all wondering about. Kyle just stared at all of them, gulping.

"I-yeah a dog.. attacked me. Whoops."

"There's barely dogs running around south park though." Craig looked over.

"You know what mind your business." He huffed, his face still red as he began to leave the locker room. Everyone watched him storm out, shocked.

Kenny came walking in with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Those scratches are from his girlfriend, idiots." Kenny snickered, walking to his locker. Stan looked at Tolkien, Tolkien looked over at Clyde and Clyde looked at Criag, most of them confused.

"Is she like abusing him or something? Holy shi–"

"Ohh that makes sense now.." Craig connected the dots, sitting up from the bench. Tolkien looked away thinking.. then it hit him.

"Ohhh. Damn."

"What?" Clyde eagerly waited for someone to explain though no one would. Stan went to call Kyle to tease him about it the rest of the boys started to get dress while Clyde still wondered why the hell his back was fucked up.

"GUYS c'mon!"

"Dude how do you not get it."

"I just DONT? MAYBE EXPLAIN"

"My god you're a faggot."

"WHAT"

"Shut up Clyde"

Now alot of people say he has a breeding kink 🤔

which I meannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

makes sense he is big on family when he gets older which just makes it really difficult to just say fuck it all and get you pregnant now.

well we have birth control for a reason I guess 💁🏾‍♀️

There's always that loud thought in his head as he's just close to his end, gripping onto your hips with a flushed expression. Going in and out fast trying to cum as he whines.

'come inside her, she'll look so pretty with your baby in her'

'fucking shit just breed her already, you know you wanna'

'you'll have little mixed cute babies with her.'

okay call me crazy but it's so rare I've ever seen a ginger black person 😭 anyway

He's soo tempted to do it, just one more thrust and he's fucked.

"Y/n are you on.. birth control?!!!! Hurry fu..fuck.." He leaned down, his arms pinning you. Your thoughts were all mush so it took a bit to answer his question.

"huh.?? Oh I think so.. why?"

"Can I cum inside you please, I cant.. hold it.. in anymore." Your pussy throbbed from the thought of his warm seed filling you up, your cunt tightening around his member getting Kyle to whimper.

You nodded vigorously, "yes yes come inside me.. that's kinda hot to think about yeah?" You chuckled with a pant, feeling him move inside you.

He nodded his head, smiling himself.

"no yeah thats.. really fucking hot to think.. oh shit I'm com..ing.."

In matters of seconds you felt his thick gooey fluid flood your insides, the both of you moaned together, his thrusts started to slow down, his dick rubbing against your walls filled with his seed grew sloppy he finally reached his end with you.

"My god one day when we have our own house and are older im going to get you actually pregnant.." He pulled out his cock, breathing heavy. You breathed yourself, your hands went to cuff his face.

"That's cute, if you get me pregnant now I swear to god I'll cut your dick off." You innocently smiled, leaning up to kiss his nose. His eyes widen, his laughter growing nervous.

"I'm gonna go get a towel for you now.. alright?"

"Alright." You watched as he leaned off you but came to a quick pause.

"Are you being serious?" He awkwardly asked, a little fear in his eyes.

You sat up to look at him, you covered up your laugh.

"No, I would never."

"Oh thank god, okay."

"Or I maybe I would."

"huh" 😧

flabbergasted

[meegan420]

Cartman Crying in his room South Park/South Paws

[alornights]

⟢ you and i

➜ in which ! you get romance troped.

💌 ﹫main 4.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗none.

🍓 ⟡ notes — short, and i mean short, little thing cus im bored mkay gn!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ERIC CARTMAN enemies to lovers

what did you expect lmao no one fucking likes this kid

you hated him for bullying people and he hated you because you were of the few people who actually stood up to him.

you remember the wendy/cartman situation. yeah thats u two.

the two of you randomly started hanging out and developed feelings for each other and started dating.

#shocked, the school went insane after that

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ KYLE BROFLOVSKI holiday romance

had a high school musical moment but without the musical

his family and stans went back to aspen for funsies and kyle and stan got invited to the teen's party oooooo

they went and had nothing better to do and he saw you talking and meeting new people and bro's jaw dropped.

so stan literally shoved him into you and boom he got himself a girl who wouldn't leave him this time around.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ KENNY MCCORMICK marriage pact

you both agreed that you were too cool to get bitches and that's why you guys hadn't dated anyone since elementary school

so the two of you made a pact that if u weren't married by 28 then you'd both get married together for funsies.

the two of you even started acting like a married couple just to test the waters by doing all that old romantic couple shit.

until you weren't testing the water and the two of you caught feelings for each other, hard.

hey at least u might get married before ur 30s tho :)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ STAN MARSH dude in distress

had just broken up with wendy for like the billionth time

you found him lying at the park contemplating life and went "this guy needs some fixing up"

he was a bit hesitant when you suggested hanging out for the entire night but he just wanted to take his mind off things

so he agreed

and good golly was that the best decision he ever made.

the two of you had so much fun that bro fell in love like a loser and vomited all of you, totally because of the drinks he had. yuh.

[southparktexts]

hiii this is my first time requesting so im kinda scared and i hope im not doing anything wrong!! could you do headcannons with the main four going on a long road trip with a reader who drives? who do u think would be the passenger princess teehee. take care and take as much time as u need!!!

hii anon !! absolutely !! thank you for requesting !! <3 you didn’t do anything wrong !! im glad you requested <3

The Main 4 On Roadtrips w / Driver!Reader

stan ;

- as i said before i cant see him as a affectionate person.

- either the whole roadtrip is the two of you listening to music or talking.

- 50/50 on both parts

- the closest thing you’ll get to affection on your roadtrip is hand holding or thigh gripping while you drive

- i can see stan being a quiet yet calm type of boyfriend.

- his music taste is probably a lot of old 2020 songs

- he doesn’t backseat road rage a lot suprisingly

- checking up on you from time to time as well.

“babe, how you doing? alright?”

“you want me to drive?”

- i can say though he is the most unorganised person ever.

- he didn’t pack snacks or water..

- also gets distracted a lot, especially if its dark.

- will randomly ask you to pull over to gaze at the stars with you.

- or fuck.

- will randomly smoke a blunt, i don’t know.

- also will randomly change his playlist to sad songs

-.. and emo??

- feeds you snacks when you buy some

kyle ;

- i know damn well he is annoying to drive with.. no offense..

- but also very caring as well!

- you both fight for aux though..

“im playing!”

“but your driving?!”

- you guys end up making a playlist mid roadtrip..

“oh add ___ as well”

“fine..”

- he is the most organised person out of them.

- constantly does check up on the bags to make sure he didnt forget anything.

- HUGE road rager…

- not surprising.

- most of the roadtrip is wholesome talking.

- sentimental talks and talks about life.

- checks up on you constantly.

“are you getting tired?”

“i can drive if you want..”

- very affectionate, although your driving.

- gripping onto your thigh, kissing you at every red light, saying i love yous

- a very affectionate sweetheart

- his music taste is bo burnham.

kenny ;

- HE is the passenger princess but he isn’t the only princess.

- loves when you drive, he can get cooked while you drive.

- i can see him getting so fucking cooked, saying the randomest shit

“i love nascar drivers!!”

“..okay??”

- he packed snacks.. but he ate them all when the munchies kicked in.

- thigh gripping from him as well as whispering dirty things to you.

- probably tries to get you riled up to fuck in the car.

- definitely loves it when you buy things for him

- stopping by drive thru and ordering him food like a princess

- most of the car ride is a mix between is singing along to music or talking

- 50/50 yet again

- im a huge believer that kenny is an juggalo.

- music taste is def pink guy and icp

- blasting music and rolling down the windows like idiots

- definitely tried getting you high as well

“ken im driving!”

“and??”

cartman ;

- HE is the passenger princess as well 😭

- i say this because he can’t stay well in one spot unless he’s given something..

- im being fr.

- will whine and complain a lot

“im hungryyy”

“im boreddd”

- he is definitely on aux

- only because he can do something which is controlling music

- the WHOLE roadtrip is karaoke. full stop.

- playing old school bangers and singing along.

- definitely on his phone playing games as he vibes with you.

- he (un)ironically ate all the snacks..

“can you get me a chip?”

“..were out.”

“HOW THE FUCK ARE WE OUT I PACKED 3 BAGS??”

- not very affectionate when it comes to you in my opinion.

- will whine until you pull into mcdonald’s and order him food.

- and snacks.

- acts like a brat when he doesn’t get what he wants

- …. doesn’t check up on you, he lowkey forgets too.

reqs are open !!

[buttfrovski]

What are your most harmless, weird headcanons? I just know Cartman is an avid penpaller, except he's really mean and makes fun of all of his penpals.

fuck that's such a good headcanon.

i wouldn't say i'm the most original with hcs

i hc kyle is a sports-hopper like i was. signed up for every sport under the sun but eventually got sick of it and quit.

tweek had a metal / punk phase at some point, he still likes metal music tho.

i was gonna say stan has beef with his art teacher but that is kinda canon cuz of the TP episode

butters and stan love the petting zoo.

craig and kenny are the types to not bother with school and still do well. kenny way more than craig.

tweek and craig can never meet up after school cuz craig either has detention or tweek has a shift at the coffee shop.

clyde is the typa guy to run the "gyatt" and "skibidi" jokes into the ground. jimmy would make those jokes too but be more clever about it and understand when the jokes old.

tolkien and stan are now best buddies and have designated d&d sessions where they stock up on junk food. kyle is mildly jealous of this despite being friends with both tolkien and stan and hanging out with them separately.

cartman does not fuck around when it comes to just dance. he is also the worst person to play most games with cuz he will camp at spawn point and never revive teammates.

very specific... but when playing COD black ops 2 nuketown, kenny gets distracted staring at the mannequins' tits.

tweek is a jack of all trades. you can see it in the show- the darts, legos, playing piano, etc. it's a total adhd thing to pick up 600 hobbies- bonus points if you don’t master any of them.

after sumo and boxing, craig and tweek picked up martial arts together and hated it. but they did get their black belts.

ik some ppl hc tweek can NOT sing but i hc he can. you can hear his backing vocals during the opening of put it down and it sounds pretty to me.

i had some more but forgot them.

[up-side-in-side-out]

Would anyone realize that even after 20 something year, they're still 10 years old? The world ages, yet they can't. Probably because of Kenny, as when he dies, (almost) everyone in south park forgets and he resets back to a spawn point(Like his bed or at the hospital). Therefore, he's technically around 30 years old.

For the drawing request, Kenny's got a Bday to celebrate, and the whole school watches as a cake is drawn out. However, the cake says the birthday boy is 30, instead of 10 again. Kenny is ecstatic for cake, while everyone else looks confused.

Saved this post for Kenny’s birthday lol!

Ooo that’s actually such an interesting idea. I wonder if Kenny would realize he’s around 30. Probably because besides Cartman and Timmy, I don’t think anyone remembers he dies.

Anyway, here’s some of Garrisons class enjoying some overly-candled cake.