#old school Cartman

[meegan-123]

Old School Cartman South Park/South Paws 🐾

[fruityatty]

pokemon x south park sketches

[sirenseraph]

🎧ྀི♪⋆.✮ 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒦𝓎𝓁𝑒 𝐵𝓇𝑜𝒻𝓁𝑜𝓋𝓈𝓀𝒾 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈🎧ྀི♪⋆.✮

Cooks in the summer time.

His freckles would become darker and it’s the prettiest thing to see.

Would doom scroll on tiktok for hours a day

He definitely makes thirst traps (you like it of course but he can never know)

Keeps up with pop culture on X (twitter) and randomly rants to you about it while he’s sitting on your bed, shirt missing and a head of frizzy curls from the heavy make out session you just had.

Definitely got rid of the hat and learned to take care of his curls better when he entered high school and you often help him.

(you’re the only person who is allowed to touch his hair)

Random ass arguments with Cartman about the stupidest things known to man, while Stan just stands there and Kenny is too high and out of it to know what’s even going on.

Isn’t big on PDA or pet names. He’s tested the waters a bit, maybe throwing in a ‘babe’ or something but he would rather call you by your name.

He would also much rather hug, kiss or do anything physical with you in private where no one can bother him. Especially Cartman.

You would definitely call him ‘Bubbe’ whenever he upsets you though just to annoy him out of spite. But you also prefer to call him by his name.

He’s very athletic.

I HC him to be on the track team or a basketball player.

He’s really tall, probably around 6’4 making him the tallest out of the main 4.

You would probably reach to his collarbones which is perfect since hugging him is the most comfortable thing you can do.

He has to bend down slightly to kiss you

When you two started dating, you didn’t announce it to anyone, (except your parents) it was just implied basically and your friends would notice the way you smile at each other, or seek out each other in a crowd. or the way you would always be texting eachother and checking up on one another.

Rare times you would hold hands when walking together and when asked to hang out it would be met with a response simply saying:

^“at kyle’s maybe next time”

I feel like he would also prefer to figure out things in a relationship himself rather than go to others for advice. It’s his relationship and it’s going to be different from other peoples own.

You both definitely grew up together but only started recognizing your feelings later in your teen years.

He has diabetes (probably canon idk)

You always have snacks or drinks at your house that can help with his sugar levels.

He’s a smarty pants. If you need help with anything you can always go to him. He might make you feel stupid at times but it’s not out of making fun of you it’s simply just his personality.

You for sure repost a bunch of #ihatemybf videos on tiktok.

When he comes over to your house he pulls them up and asks you about it.

“Why did you repost this?”

“no i didn’t”

He loves you obviously and you love him too

A boss at Sudoku and Candy Crush. When he’s not scrolling on tiktok he’s playing these games like it’s his lifeline. You call him an old lady.

You always say brain rot stuff to annoy him

“sigma sigma on the wall-”

“please stop quoting brain rot”

“my bad king 😪”

On some rare occasions, he would be at your house, a movie playing softly in the background while you’re cuddled up against his shirtless figure . He’s running his hand through your hair as you gently tug at his curly hair that falls on his forehead. His deep green eyes staring lovingly into yours. You would trace his features with your eyes. Admiring his slightly hooked nose with deep freckles littering his face. He would notice this and smile softly, deep dimples on his cheek, a slightly flushed face from making out and a deep hickey on his neck that he would have to hide from his mother.

[aliengirlnini]

Tkatb headcanons!

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┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚★⋆｡˚ ⋆

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┊ ┊ ★⋆

┊ ◦

★⋆ ┊ . ˚

˚★

Sol

He likes 10b pencil

Smells like those cheap masculine fragrance (i love him dw)

Doesn't like oranges

Used to draw in anime artstyle during middle school

Have a burn CD of songs that remind him of MC and listen to it every single day so he can feel closer to his soulmate

Crowe

Takes selfie like a facebook mom

Unironically use emojis like "😂😅🥰" etc, etc

Gets upset when a blueberry is sour and mushy instead of the sweet and crunchy one

Go to bed early

Smell the books at the library when no one is looking

Hyugo

Manga over anime

Have his own spidersona (for some reason)

Goes on side quest everyday

Laugh at firemans reverse resscue videos on youtube

Has a habit of doing faces like this "🤔" when he is thinking of something

Brittney

DESPISE mac n cheese

Pretending to be a famous person doing GRWM everytime she's getting ready

Use press on nails and change the design almost everyday

Always getting into an arguement with strangers online

Loves spicy food but has a really weak spice tolerance

Jess

Surprisingly is not chicked out when playing horror game

Is TRAUMATIZED by creepypasta and those old jumpscare vidoes on youtube

Has her own DIY bookmark she make with brittney (awh <3)

Really good at coloring (especially with alchohol marker)

Try to give herself bangs everytime her front hair is getting longer but ended up looking the same as before

Deryl

Is the one that shows Jess those jumpscare vidoes cuz he thought it would be funny

Get real serious and loud watching the olympic or any sport events

Frecuetly use <@;-) like cartman in that one south park episode

Always have snacks in his pocket

Spend most of his money trying to find the perfect sunscreen

Geo

Bully people on roblox especially those headless dahood kind of avatar (OR... he's the one with that type of avatar)

Use TONS of high quality, expensive hair product

Randomly tried to learn sign laungage (because he wanted to) but give up right after

Secretly plays bitlife

Enjoy watching America Got Talent just to critizise everyone including the judge

Btw ignore my english. It's not my first language ;p + i write this just for fun!

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

Kenny's Heroism

Upon @kennys-parka-jacket's request and in relation to this post I'm gonna take a little look at Kenny's heroic tendencies, which there is a LOT to unpack about.

First and foremost: The post this question is referring to is by no means a universally applicable concept. I didn't intend for it to be so that people can be measured on a scale from empathy to high moral compass, nor that the two are mutually exclusive. It's just a difference I noticed in how Kyle and Stan make their decisions when it comes to helping people, but I don't think this concept is properly applicable to Kenny. Regardless; I will attempt a categorization anyways.

The two factors that I see driving Kenny's heroism most are:

Parentification

Control (or rather the lack of it)

Let's start with the first one.

Parentification

I'm writing this post under the deducted presumption that Kenny's (instrumental & emotional) parentification is canon. Canon instances I see this most reflected in are:

Cartman Joins NAMBLA (s4 ep5)

Mysterion Rises (s14 ep12)

The Poor Kid (s15 ep14)

Going Native (s16 ep11)

The City Part of Town (s19 ep3)

From Dusk Til Casa Bonita (The Fractured But Whole DLC, 2018)

Allow me to elaborate on the first one; Cartman Joins NAMBLA (s4 ep5). There's two ways to read this episode, one being that Kenny is simply jealous and doesn't want to share his things, room or parents' attention with a new sibling. Fair enough, he's an 8 year old boy. The other interpretation is that Kenny is aware of how difficult life would be for this new kid, considering how neglectful his parents are and how limited their resources are to properly care for another child. This latter interpretation is probably not the intended one, but the reason I'm mentioning it are all of the other episodes on that list and how they recontextualized Kenny's behavior in this older episode. Feel free to reject this as an argument, but all the other episodes point more glaringly towards clear evidence for parentification.

In Mysterion Rises (s14 ep12) we have Kenny taking on a clear role-reversal (classic characteristic for parentification) in that he scolds his parents into consuming less weed, not beating each other up (taking on a mediator role) and treating their kids better. In The Poor Kid (s15 ep14) when their parents are taken to jail, Kenny takes on a mentor/caretaker role for Karen specifically via Mysterion.

When Kenny shows up to console her the first night at the foster home, she says this:

"I was wondering when you'd appear. You always come when I'm sad."

In the police car, Karen immediately grabs on to Kenny's hand, and holds on to his arm or hand in some of the scenes following up (in the Soft Room, in their new school). In the "punishment room" she turns to Kenny to ask what they're going to do. All these instances indicate that Kenny taking on this role for Karen isn't anything new, and more notably: It isn't Kevin, the actual eldest sibling of the three, that she turns to. It's Kenny.

All of these are clear signs of emotional parentification (referring to children/youth tending to the emotional needs of family members, be it siblings or parents, as well as promoting harmony amongst the family members). However, The City Part of Town (s19 ep3) shows Kenny stepping up financially for his family as well, getting a job at a far too young age. He ends up using the money to get Karen a doll, but it isn't unthinkable that he might pursue this behavior to support his family in other ways in the future as well. This type of parentification is referred to as instrumental parentification.

How does this reflect in Kenny's behavior outside of his family?

Granted, we haven't seen much. But one particular instance strikes me as interesting: The episode Going Native (s16 ep11).

We haven't seen Kenny and Butters truly interact in any episode prior to this one, much less positively. Plus, when Kyle says "Kenny, you're clearly his best friend, go stop him" Kenny refutes this by saying "I'm not his best friend." Considering all this, assuming that Kenny goes to help Butters because he genuinely likes him would be a stretch. Kenny just sighs and resigns himself to the responsibility of saving Butters, solely based on the fact that "no one else can do it but him." This dynamic changes a little over the course of the episode when Kenny starts genuinely feeling sympathetic for him, but that isn't relevant to this topic.

Why is this relevant to understand Kenny's heroism?

Simple: Mysterion was introduced in The C**n (s13 ep2) as a hero who protects "the innocents" of the city, a job neither Cartman nor the police were doing well. But in Mysterion Rises (s14 ep12) and The Poor Kid (s15 ep14) it is revealed that Mysterion is so much more than that. Also: In all these episodes, Kenny takes on a role that isn't his to carry out, and yet he does it because he feels exactly like that: "no one else can do it but him."

The episodes Mysterion Rises and C**n vs. C**n & Friends (s14 ep13) reveal that amongst all his friends, Kenny is the only one who has a real power (apart from Bradley but whatever), and he instrumentalizes this power in several instances of these episodes to take on a savior role. It's tragically true; no one else could do it like him. No one else can die and come back effectively. So he does it, even though he hates it.

"It's not pretty cool, Kyle, it fucking hurts." (Kenny in C**n vs. C**n & Friends, s14 ep13)

don't mind me i just fucking love this scene the dialogue is insane the execution is flawless it gives me the fucking chills. Heroic Kenny I love you

In The C**n, at the beginnings of his existence, Mysterion could have been anyone. But the little guy who ended up stepping up to fight crime in South Park was none other than Kenny. Kyle, who has a high sense of responsibility and moral compass didn't take up this role. Stan, who has high empathy, didn't either. Apart from Kenny having his curse to aid him (Cartman didn't have these powers either)-- Why is that? It might very well be because neither of them were parentified like Kenny was. Even though they theoretically could do something about the crime of the town like Kenny does, they don't. They recognize it isn't their job and it's too dangerous to do it anyway. Neither of them have developed a fucked up savior complex like Kenny has, in that he feels like whenever there is someone that needs help it's always his responsibility to step up.

Moving on to my next point.

(part 2: Control, or the lack of it)

---

Episodes/Instances showcasing Kenny's heroism:

Cartman's Mom is A Dirty Slut (s1 ep13) -> electrocutes himself to bring power back to the hospital

Rainforest Shmainforest (s3 ep1) -> jumps in front of Kelly to protect her from gunshots

Jewbilee (s3 ep9) -> hits the shell Moses was trapped in with his head to break it and dies to save all the Jews

Bigger Longer and Uncut (1999) -> sacrificed his chance to come back to life in order to save thousands of other lives

Best Friends Forever (s9 ep5) -> is cast to save Heaven from an attack from Hell

The C**n (s13 ep2) -> the entire concept of the hero Mysterion

C**n vs. C**n & Friends (s14 ep13) -> 1: uses Mysterion to make a better life for himself and his siblings, 2: demands Cthulu take his life to free his friends

The Black Friday trilogy (s17 ep7-9) -> becomes the key to the PS4's success in the console wars

The Post Covid Duology (2021) -> creates a time machine not only to save his friends' broship but also positively changes the trajectory of the entire future

[green-alien-turdz]

do u have any hcs for what the m4 would look like in middle school? 👀👀👀

The same, just with that awful middle school flare.

Headcanon time tho bcuz I'm insane n need to explain the shit happenin here (tw for sh n sewerslide attempts. but if you follow my bs this is nothin new)

Cartman: Bro was at PEAK loudmouth n fuck everyone shit, but at this point all mfs were pretty sick of it n he got into fights on the daily. Not to say he wasn't askin for it, he actually got a big kick outta pissin people off (nothin new as we know). He was pretty much doin this bcuz he didn't really care n couldn't process a lot of shit he was feelin so he would just take it out on everyone else.

Kenny: Overworked, stressed, n not fuckin blessed. If he wasn't at school, he'd be at city wok, which he was grateful for the cash, but it took a toll on him n his schooling. He was just tryin to take care of him n Karen as he watched Kevin just get worse n worse with the people he was hangin around. Conflict at home had him stressin big time. Catch them z's whenever the fuck he could.

Kyle: Bro almost never changes appearance wise due to insecurities. The scratches on his face are from a meltdown he had where he lost complete control of his actions n started hittin n clawin at himself (managed to convince his parents it happened in his sleep bcuz no one was home when the breakdown happened). This was a rather common thing to happen, seein as normal teenage horomones, mental illness, n eds are like the worst fuckin combo.

Stan: Legit the worst time of his life, both home n mentally. Around this time where he'd get super drunk n high to try n numb out everythin, but that would only start more shit of course. He felt completely caged in n stuck in life n in this cycle of bs. One night he spiraled pretty hard n impulsively tried to hang himself with an old belt. He pretty quickly freaked out n managed to get somethin under him so he could get back out. Uhh n misc. red hair bcuz he had started dyin his hair lots of colours (but usually red) for Crimson Dawn around this time.

[z0mbbiegvrl]

✮⋆˙ SUNDAY MORNING ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊|• 4:34

↳ cw: underaged drinking, hinted underaged drug use, & teens being awkward.

↳ an: when this was written (summer of 2024) it's very obvious i was listening to the tragic kingdom album and going back to Cali A LOT; changing the date for the future since i wrote this almost a year ago and never posted it. also this is my first real x reader so if you have any nice and helpful feedback i will gladly accept!

↳ word count: 2,180!!

↳ series mlist

July 28th, 2025 - SOUTH PARK, COLORADO

Vanilla-scented candle wax filled the dimly lit room, and clothes were thrown on every surface imaginable, including the brown plush carpet. The song Sunday Morning played through the room, Gwen singing about realizing you didn’t know the person you thought you did. Having slept through almost the whole Tragic Kingdom Album, a small groan left you as you grabbed your phone, the white numbers glowed, telling you it was eight or five. At Night.

You had successfully spent the last week of summer before your Senior Year of High School, doing the following events. Feeding your cat, hanging out with friends, watching anything, cheer practice, and sleeping. 

“[N/N]!” The bedroom door slammed open, revealing your twin brother, Eric Cartman. You flinched at how hard the teen had swung the door open. “Tolkien’s throwing an end-of-summer party and I want to go.” He said, leaning against the doorframe, crossing his arms.

You groaned, rubbing your eyes, trying to adjust to the bright hallway light. “So.” You muttered, yawning. “I’m not going.”

Eric rolled his eyes, taking in your disheveled state, “You look like shit.”

You flipped him off, “Close my door, asswipe.”

Eric groaned, practically stomping his foot like a child, “Can you stop being a bitch and just take me. Tolkien can’t kick me out if you take me.”

You grumbled, almost returning to sleep, when you felt a firm object thrown at your head.

“Get up!” Eric shouted, having thrown a plushy at his sister.

You got up, “Fucking fine. Get out.” Putting your fluffy slippers on and pushing past your brother towards the bathroom to shower. Ignoring your brother’s laughs as you closed the bathroom door, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You sighed, turning around to turn the shower on. 

You walked down the stairs, seeing Eric standing in front of your mother, Liane, the woman trying to watch her shows, but the boy in front was blocking the TV.

“But, Meem, it’s our turn to bring the booze! I promised Tolkien I’d bring it.” Eric stressed to his mother while holding a bottle of whatever cheap vodka their mother had bought for herself.

“Eric, I already told you no.” Liane tried to reason, her voice soft but aloof as she continued watching The Nanny. “You took alcohol last time.”

“That was Bebe’s party…back in freshman year.” Eric crossed his arms, still holding the bottle, “You just hate me and [Y/n] so much. This house is a goddamn prison. We have three more bottles!” Eric whined, glancing over in the kitchen. “You’d rather see us get bullied, your only two children, ostracized because you won’t let us take booze.”

You scoffed, walking over to the scene, Eric immediately grabbed his sister’s arm, pulling you in for a dramatic hug. “What the”

“It’s [N/N]’s very first party since the beginning of summer, and you’re not going to let her finally have fun at a party?” Eric pouted, dramatically caressing the back of his sister's head as if he were trying to soothe you.

Liane sighed, “Fine. I suppose one more time is okay.” The mother caved in, which made Eric smile triumphantly, pushing you out of his arms.

“I knew you’d come around,” Eric said, walking over to the front door with the bottle, grabbing his old backpack, and putting it inside.

You rolled your eyes, following Eric, who was practically down the street already.

“[N/N]!” Liane called back in a somewhat stern tone.

“Hmm?” You hummed, turning around.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Her voice was soft and sweet again, making you smile. Your mother’s words left a humorous tone in the air, Your mother wasn’t the most innocent person in all of South Park.

With that, you closed the front door, walking off the cement steps. You walked down the sidewalk, finally catching up with Eric. 

“Can you believe we're almost done with High School?”

“You’re saying that it's supposed to be something special.”

“I just feel like I should have a plan, and I don’t.”

Eric laughed, “We’re kids, we don't need to have plans.” Eric noticed his sister's somewhat somber mood, nudging your shoulder. “It will be okay.”

You nodded, “I know.”

Looking up to see the fancy house at the end of the street, loud music came from the house. You could see people in the front yard and through the windows, dancing. You mentally prepared yourself for the party, butterflies filled your stomach. Eric got a little pep in his step as he walked faster to the party, against your wishes.

Eric rang the doorbell. Bebe Stevens, Clyde’s on-and-off girlfriend and your best friend. She crossed her arms, giving the twins a once-over before turning her attention to Eric.

“What’s up, Bebe! The party has finally arrived.” Eric said, booming with confidence.

The blonde girl looked back at you, “Why’s he here?”

You shrugged.

Eric noticed this and held up the backpack, rolling his eyes, “Well, I got booze to share with everyone, so are you going to let us in?”

Bebe shrugged, moving aside for them to walk in. Eric held the backpack up while raising his eyebrows in a serendipitous expression. You followed Eric towards the kitchen, bumping into drunk people.

“You weren’t kidding when you said everyone’s going.” You laughed softly, walking into the loud house. Biggie’s voice blasted as the crowd started shouting, girls and guys all dancing in the living room, everyone singing the lyrics to Going Back to Cali.

Eric nodded, unzipped the backpack, and took the vodka out of it.

“It’s Tolkien's house, of course, everyone’s going.” He said as he dumped the vodka into the red punch, the group in the kitchen cheered like they were in church and Eric Cartman was a god giving them blessings. Eric poured himself a drink and then shoved a red solo cup into your hand.

“It’s not going to kill you.” Eric teased, looking out of the kitchen to the living room, and spotting his friends.

“I know that.” You said, taking a small sip of the red liquid, Eric had finally wandered off. Leaving you by yourself. You didn’t know anyone in the kitchen, probably other people in the school that you never noticed.

“[Y/N]! Didn’t think I’d find you here.”

“Ditto, Craig.” You smiled softly. 

“Tweek dragged me out here. It was supposed to be a date night, and we ended up here,” Craig said, his tone just as nasally as it had always been since childhood, taking a sip from his solo cup.

“Oh,” You smirked. “You and Blondie have finally made up? That only took like, what, three days?”

Craig flipped the girl off, “That’s real rich coming from you. How’s Mc-whoremick?”

“He’s fine. I dunno, I haven’t talked to him since Eric’s party.” You absentmindedly looked around for him. “Besides, you know I don’t talk to anyone during summer break.”

“Yeah, it’s your quote-unquote hibernation for human life. You know sooner or later you’ll turn into a hermit.”

“Whatever, I invite you over so I think I get enough human interaction just from that.”

Craig chuckled, “I guess that’s true. Oh, speaking of which,” Craig pointed to the blonde teen who had just noticed you. “Good luck.”

You shook your head, “No, Craig, stay-” You practically tried to grab the teen who moved away and went to join his boyfriend, wherever he was in the house.

The smell of weed engulfed you as someone threw their arm around your neck. “Cartman didn’t say you were coming.”

You smiled, glancing at the blonde, “Yeah, well, I didn’t want to come in the first place.” You shrugged Kenny off. “Christ, you reek.”

“Wow,” He stood in front of you, hand on his heart. “You just hurt my feelings.”

“Whatever.”

Kenny laughed, “Where have you been all summer?”

“I dunno, been around.”

“I got the idea you were avoiding me.” Kenny took a drink from his cup, giving you a certain accusatory look.

“What? That’s a good one, Ken. I’m not avoiding you, I talked to you yesterday.”

Kenny shrugged, “Right, liking one of my posts was us talking.”

“Well, it’s proof of life at least.” You shrugged.

“Isn’t this your song?” Kenny gestured with the hand that was holding his drink, his pointer finger pointing at the air.

“Rip…” you muttered, drinking the gross punch your brother had ruined with the rank vodka your mother buys.

Kenny noticed how tense you were, he sighed, “...You know I didn’t say anything to Red about that night?”

“I know.” You mumbled, not wanting to talk about it. “Not like anything happened, people just like to make shit up when they aren't in the room.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“It’s fine, Kenny.” You sighed, “Go enjoy the party, I’ll see you at school.”

Before the teen could protest, you walked over to the cooler, tossing the punch and grabbing yourself a soda. You walked past the jocks trying to one-up another by chugging beer, going outside where it was very quiet. A couple of people were sitting on the porch, smoking and just enjoying the night’s air.

You noticed the empty pool area, the green glow drawing you in like it would a moth. The music faintly made itself known to you, but the party music was covered up by people cheering for whatever reason there was to cheer about. 

“Since when do you come to parties?”

You froze as soon as you stepped down the small cement staircase, right in front of the pool, glancing behind to see a familiar redhead sitting on the pool chairs.

“Could ask you the same thing, Broflovski.”

The two hadn’t always been hostile to each other. No, you were very close as kids. You and Kyle used to hang out a lot. But to this day, you never knew why the new hostile attitude started, never being able to pinpoint where your friendship went wrong. He just left your friendship with no words of goodbye.

Kyle scoffed, “I go out.”

“With a gun pointed at your head.” You looked at him, “The gate to the side yard is that way. Since you’re so good at leaving without a word.”

“Well, I am an asshole.” Kyle’s rebuttal, crossing his arms, like he knew something you didn’t. “Guess that’s the word going around, huh?”

“People just say too much or lack thereof.” 

“Whatever. Your hair looks good, by the way.”

You walked back into the busy party, drinking from your soda, walking over to the quote-unquote dance floor when you were pulled into a hug.

“[N/N]! Where have you been?” Butters Stotch pulled you into a sweet side hug, and the short blonde boy gave you a toothy smile. “Kenny told me you were here, and I wanted to say hi.”

Your mood perked up from the boy; He had never failed to uplift your mood since you were kids.

“Leo, you’re finally not grounded? Last time I stopped by, you were.”

Butters pulled away from you, “Been ungrounded for three days!” He said, his eyes on the tall redhead walking into the house behind you, shoulder-checking you as he made his way over to where Stan and Kenny were.

“Fucking prick.” You muttered under your breath.

“Now, why is he acting that way?”

“Because we hate each other?”

Butters looked confused, “But he said-” Butters was cut off by you being yanked away from the conversation.

“Hey! What the” You looked to see Eric, shrugging your arm away after the boy yanked you onto the front porch. “What’s your problem?”

“Neighbors called the cops, let’s go.”

The twins started walking back home as the other kids all ran from the mansion. You could’ve sworn you saw Tolkien leave his own house. You crunched your soda can, tossing it onto someone’s lawn, enjoying the silence of the night.

“So, how was the party?” Eric asked, looking over at you.

“It was fine.”

“It was fine.” Eric mocked you, “Do you ever say anything else?”

“Are you ever not a whiny bitch?”

Eric shrugged, “Touché. But at least I have a better vocabulary. Are you sure you’re the smart one?”

You nudged his shoulder hard with a laugh, “Shut up.”

Eric snickered, not saying anything.

After a little while, the teens made it back to their house. Eric unlocked the front door and was as loud as he could, tossing all his stuff down. You took your shoes off, shushing your brother as you closed and locked the front door.

Eric yawned, “Night, [N/N].”

You waved Eric goodbye, “Night, Rick.”

Eric rolled his eyes, disappearing upstairs. He hated it when you called him that.

After taking your makeup off, she went to her room. You put back on your pajamas. You got yourself cozy in your bed, and your cat found their spot on your bed, going right to sleep as you began to rewatch your favorite show, not planning on getting much sleep since

Summer hadn't ended yet…

TAG LIST!

@little-duck

[buttl0rd]

I'm watching like a hawk for that new kid 🤲 THE BABY

ALRIGHT HERE HE IS!! lemme introduce you to the new kid 👉👉

this is carroway - he's the best 😎👽

this is gonna be a long post cause i have so much art and content to gush about. i love this kid 👇

Some fun character details:

he was originally supposed to be like the 90's movie tough bully kid but he's ended up just being a stupid asshole. he probably likes to think he's really cool and tough 💪

has 3 younger sisters, hates being outnumbered by girls

huge foodie and finishes whatever you don't eat. not fussy at all

always leaving his mittens outside. they get all wet and gross in the snow

affectionately ripping on everyone he loves. he's a total asshole but most people know he doesn't mean half the shit he says. the real ones tolerate him 😔🤙

he doesn’t know he’s bisexual (don’t tell him, he’ll find out on his own)

Hobbies & Interests

Aliens. Carroway is a firm believer in alien life and has an immense interest in UFO sightings, alien communication and all things outer-space. He often brags to his classmates that he has been abducted and probed, and is friends with the Martians that visit South Park sometimes (do any of them believe him?). He has a telescope that he set up in his friend Dante’s treehouse which he uses to spot UFOs in the night.

FUN FACT: His probe is linked with Cartman's. It's the connection that makes it possible for OCs to exist in the same universe as canon characters.

Drums. He has a drum set in his garage on which he practices every day after school. He has exceptional rhythm and is very talented. He keeps drumsticks in his backpack just in case he encounters a drumset or anything he can make a beat with (tables, benches, trashcans, etc.) Neighbors complain to his parents about the noise, so his garage is sound-proofed to the best of Mr. Carroway’s ability. 

Snowboarding. Carroway goes snowboarding every few weeks. His family do snowboarding trips and he LOVES it. He also skateboards and rides his bike when he’s not up in the mountains, kid just likes to go fast. He dreams of being a professional snowboarder when he’s older.

TFBW: Boarderline

Boarder is a special flying support unit, part of Coon & Friends. He delivers high-impact quick attacks with his hoverboard and can heal/cure status conditions with his awesome space beams. As a speedster he utilizes the whole battlefield and is constantly moving, making him difficult to hit.

Origins:

He was a human that got abducted and genetically modified by Martians to serve and protect the alien race. After battling in many galactic wars he returned to his home in Colorado. His abilities were noticed by the superhero organization, Coon & Friends and Boarder was recruited to join their alliance. He provides support to Coon & Friends in battle.

Design:

Inspired by the gear he wears when he goes snowboarding.

His superhero costume consists of a white bodysuit with black tape accents and a big old metal zip. There's reflective blue strips on the gloves, boots and around the edge of his signature spaceboard. He's got these iconic space goggles that protect his face when he’s flying at the speed of light.

His name is a play on words - board (from his hoverboard) and borderline (being only just good enough for Coon & Friends). Allies call him Boarder for short.

SOT: Skullrogue

Skullrogue is Carroway’s Stick of Truth character.

He is a rogue-class unit and is quick and sneaky on the battlefield. He has a long black hooded cloak and a skull mask. His main weapon is a pair of daggers that are enchanted with flame magic. He cannot use magic himself but he is proficient with weapons, especially the daggers. He throws them and uses them to stab enemies in the back.

Skullrogue has an undisclosed edgy backstory, like any rogue player. He is mysterious and broody and so cool. He is loyal to the Wizard King and thinks Princess Kenny is hot.

Post-COVID

As a young adult, Carroway becomes a professional snowboarder and competes nationally in competitions. He becomes famous and earns a lot of money from his career, travelling the world for competitions. He makes it all the way to the Winter Olympics, representing the USA in the snowboarding category

After a career-ending injury in his mid-30's, he had to retire from snowboarding early and now lives off his sponsors and used-to-be-a-big-shot money. Despite being wealthy, he moved back to South Park and lives in a trailer (it’s easier than having a huge house). 

He sometimes needs a walking aid to get around and is medicated for chronic back pain.

He was too busy with his career to find love when he was younger, so he stays single and lonely in his 40s. He still goes out and does sport events, commentaries and sponsorships - he remains famous even though he cannot compete anymore. He’s like a living legend in the winter sports community. 

I'm still working on a PCOV design for him so stay tuned for that...

Anyway that's it for now!! I hope you love him 😘

[drownedinlavender]

⋆｡°✩South Park High School AU Headcanons⋆｡°✩

Mainly written to get out of my writers block lmaoo. This is a guide to all my headcanons in my “Be Nice to Me” fanfic

⋆｡°✩ Kyle Broflovski:

6'2”. Tall with lean muscle. Ginger with emerald green eyes and light freckles. Very curly hair with trimmed sides.

Juggles the debate club, basketball team, student council, and too many AP classes to count.

The first to get his driver's license out of the main 4 + Leopold.

His parents got him a car for his birthday for doing so well academically.

Works and volunteers during the summer.

Gets into detention often due to Cartman baiting him into fights.

Has gotten benched multiple times for playing too aggressively in basketball games when instigated by rival teams.

Has a tight knit study group with Wendy, Tolkien, and Nichole.

They help each other out with their AP classes but also consider each other rivals, trying to beat the other for the title of valedictorian.

Very good at first person shooters, often out performing Cartman.

Knows how to build a PC.

Learned how to program in his free time.

Spends time with his family and has a close relationship with Ike.

Knows Cartman’s schedule better than Cartman himself

Begrudgingly gives Cartman rides to school sometimes. Will leave him if he takes too long though.

⋆｡°✩Eric Cartman:

5'10”. Big, bulky build. A lot of arm muscle + big belly. Soft chestnut brunette hair. Dark reddish brown eyes. Thick eyebrows.

Is both on the football and hockey teams. He likes to use both sports as an excuse to be a major asshole towards others and uses his size to his advantage.

In the board games club. Argues with Nichole a lot for leadership.

Has a hard time studying and paying attention due to ADHD.

Does enough school work to pass. Thinks school is pointless and a big scam.

Would much rather play video games or watch TV instead of school work.

Unfortunately, to his Spanish teacher's demise, outperforms others in Spanish class.

Prefers first person shooters but also loves dress up games. Would kill anyone that found out.

Will trash talk your mom but if someone trash talks his mom he WILL dox them.

Loves reality tv. Big fan of RuPaul's drag race, Love is Blind, the Real Housewives.

Is a menace on reddit.

Has gotten his account reported many times on reddit, discord, and twitter.

Planning to major in business or finance in college.

The last of the main 4 + Leopold(Butters) to learn how to drive. Was genuinely too lazy and constantly bummed rides off the others anyway, specially Kyle.

⋆｡°✩Stan Marsh:

5'11”. Average build. Straight dark black hair. Wears a beanie often since his hair gets oily fast. Dark blue eyes.

Stan loves writing and listening to music. He's very big into metal, rock, and Midwest emo right now.

His extracurriculars are football and the board game club.

He volunteers at animal shelters in his free time and fundraisers for the environment.

He's an average student, usually getting Bs and Cs, and a D if he doesn't study enough.

He's terrible at multitasking. He's a very forgetful person.

Wendy and Kyle constantly have to remind him about deadlines and big projects.

On his 16th birthday, his dad gave him his old pick up truck.

Tolkien comes over often and they do homework together. He helps Stan with math a lot.

Stan and Kyle still consider themselves best friends even if they don't live right next door.

Crimson Dawn meets up often, practicing at Stan's since they can be as loud as they want there.

Sometimes friends like Kyle, Wendy, Timmy, and Tolkien come over to just hang out with the others and watch the band practice.

Stan and Wendy have been off and on since elementary school. It's obvious when they're not dating since Stan sometimes relapses back into his goth phase.

Stan and Tolkien have hooked up on a few occasions when Stan and Wendy broke up.

Tolkien has also dated Wendy on more than one occasion.

Stan is the type of kid that casually gets along with every “clique” in school since he doesn't really have beef with anyone. He's a very chill guy who often reacts pretty indifferently to most things.

⋆｡°✩Kenny Mccormick:

5’8”. Very skinny, mainly due to a poor diet. Wavy dirty blonde hair, tends to grow it out or cuts it short depending on his mood. Purple eyes. Front tooth gap.

Kenny's been working overtime while attending school since middle school. He gets paid under the table for most of it.

He saved up just enough to buy a really run down, beat up, used car. It's a stick shift and requires a ton of repairs.

He learned a lot about mechanics in order to save money and not have to take it anywhere to get fixed.

He learned how to drive stick shift and how to fix a car through YouTube.

He takes and picks up Karen from school. He also pays for all of her school supplies and encourages her to pick up extracurriculars.

Kenny doesn't have to study in order to get good grades in school. He barely has to do his homework either. As long as he listens to the lectures and skims through the material, he’ll pass. If he didn’t work overtime then he would be highly ranked in their year.

Kenny barely sleeps 4 hours a day. 5 on a good day.

He plans to keep working at the same pace and go to a trade school. Once he is more settled and his sister is an adult able to stand on her own, he might go back to school but he doesn't really stress about it and prefers living day by day then worrying about the future.

⋆｡°✩Leopold Butters Scotch:

5’9”. Lanky. Light blonde hair and sky blue eyes.

Works while attending school. Is very good at saving money.

Bought his own car at 16. Very safe driver with the occasional outburst of road rage.

Bought his own gaming PC. It's Hello Kitty themed. His favorite games are Animal Crossing and Hello Kitty Island Adventure.

Does very well in school.

Tutors others in his free time.

Volunteers to read for preschoolers at the community library.

Works as a summer camp counselor during the summers.

Cartman copies his homework when he isn't looking.

Part of the Board Game club and the Cheerleading squad.

Still gets grounded by his parents a lot but plans to live in College dorms soon.

Misc.

⋆｡°✩Clyde is part of the football team and basketball team. Sports are his bread and butter. He doesn't do well academically. Cry baby. Is on and off with Bebe.

⋆｡°✩Craig is captain of the space club. Wants to become an astronaut. Has been consistently dating Tweek ever since getting shipped by the Asian girls.

⋆｡°✩Tweek works at his dad's coffee shop while attending school. It has become a bit of a hub for the kids to hang out so it's doing well and he gets paid well. Is great at saving money. Loves playing DnD and really gets into character. Attends the space club with Craig.

⋆｡°✩Tolkien is a star student. Plays basketball, football, and is in the student council. Has dated Nichole, Wendy, Stan, and Clyde. None of his relationships ever end poorly. Is friendly with everyone. Is arguably the most popular, well liked kid in school.

⋆｡°✩Bebe is bisexual and has dated a few of the girls when off with Clyde. Clyde has no game however and barely dates anyone when they are broken up. She's part of cheerleading, volleyball, and the yearbook club. She's a minor influencer online, focusing on fashion, beauty, feminism, and human rights.

⋆｡°✩Wendy and Kyle constantly compete for valedictorian. She's captain of the debate team, cheerleading squad (Bebe vice captain), and volleyball team (Nichole vice captain). Stan and her have almost consistently dated with some hiccups here and there. They don't break up as often as Clyde and Bebe but when they have, she's dated Tolkien and Bebe briefly. She volunteers in a multitude of different organizations and feels very passionate about every cause she takes up. Has a substantial following on Twitter where she's very vocal about her beliefs.

[yoyomomiko]

[ONE] — Ghosts = $$$

☆ `` SPECTRAL SCAMMERS ``

☆ — summary: when cartman comes up with yet another 'get rich quick' scheme, he forces his friends, and you, into starting a ghost hunting service. armed with a mix of makeshift equipment, a questionable van and no actual skills, you begin taking jobs to "exorcise" haunted houses.

warnings: strong language, cartman being cartman.

(a/n): first chapter is out and honestly I don't really know where this is going!! also, I'm extremely sorry for the short length of this chapter :< --- usually, first chapters are always shorter! i'll try my best to make the other chapters longer :)

wc: 1932

★ m.list

★ series m.list

[NEXT] ->

The cafeteria was a chaotic mess as always. Muffled chatter, students fighting, and the occasional shout from the lunch staff scolding some kid for trying to sneak an extra carton of milk. You sat at the usual table in the far corner, picking at your food. Across from you, Stan and Kyle were arguing about some documentary they watched in History, while Clyde was halfway through his second slice of pizza.

"Alright, assholes, listen up!" Cartman's voice cut through the arguing boys. He slammed his tray onto the table for everyone's attention, the loud sound making Tweek flinch so hard he almost spilled his coffee.

"Oh, great, what now?" Stan groaned, leaning back in his chair.

"You're gonna thank me later, Stan." Cartman cleared his throat, glancing at everyone sitting at the table. "Because I just came up with the best idea of my life. No, of your lives, too, because you're all gonna be a part of it."

Kyle raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Let me guess, some new way to scam people out of their money?"

"Yeah, Kyle, because having ambition is such a crime." Cartman shot back, rolling his eyes dramatically. "But no, this isn't just a scam. It's a business opportunity. A gold mine. And all you losers have to do is stop being such whiny little bitches and listen to me for five seconds."

"Dude, just get to the point." Stan muttered, his hands resting on top of the table as his brows furrowed together.

Cartman smirked, leaning forward on the table as if he was about to deliver a secret. "Ghost hunting."

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the distant crash of a tray hitting the floor somewhere across the cafeteria.

"Ghost hunting?" Clyde repeated with a mouthful of pizza.

"Yes, Clyde, try to keep up." Cartman snapped. "Think about it. Those dumbass ghost hunting shows on TV. People eat that crap up! We can charge idiots in this town hundreds of dollars to 'investigate' their haunted houses and get rid of their spooky little Casper problems!"

Kyle shook his head with a sigh. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Even for you, Cartman."

"It's not stupid!" Cartman shot back, slamming his fist on the table hard enough to make Tweek jump again.

"People are stupid, Kyle. They'll pay us to run around their creepy old houses with flashlights, pretending to find ghosts! And if there's no ghost? We'll just make one! Bang on some walls, throw some stuff around... Boom, paranormal activity."

"That's literally fraud." You pointed out, resting your chin on your hand. "You realize that, right?"

Cartman waved you off as if you mentioned something as unimportant as the weather. "Pfft, no one's gonna care. We'll make them sign waivers. Legal waivers make everything legit!"

Stan exchanged a doubtful look with you, then glanced back at Cartman. "This sounds like the kind of thing that gets us arrested. Or worse, sued."

"Oh my God, you guys are so dramatic." Cartman groaned, throwing his hands in the air. "Look, do you want to spend the rest of high school broke and boring, or do you wanna be rich and badass?"

"Rich and badass does sound kinda nice..." Clyde admitted, earning a glare from Kyle.

"Clyde, seriously?"

"What? I need the money! My dad cut my allowance because I spent it all on skins in Fortnite."

"I can't believe I'm surrounded by morons." Kyle buried his face in his hands.

"Ghosts aren't even real!" Tweek blurted, his hands shaking as he gripped his cup. "What if we mess with something we don't understand? What if we summon a demon or-"

"Tweek, for the love of God." Craig interrupted, his voice flat and bored. "You're not summoning anything. It's fake."

Tweek's eyes darted to Craig, then back to Cartman. "B-But even if it's fake, what if- what if people find out?! What if we get exposed or something?!"

"Tweek, no one cares about your paranoia." Cartman rolled his eyes. "Besides, it's not like we're actually gonna run into any ghosts. We're just taking money from idiots who think their houses are haunted because their furniture makes weird noise."

"I dunno, dude." Kenny finally spoke up, voice muffled by his hood. "What's the cut? Like, how much are we each getting?"

"Ah! The voice of reason! Don't worry Kenny. We'll split it... Fairly."

"Fairly?" Kyle immediately narrowed his eyes. "That means you're going to take the biggest cut, doesn't it?"

"Uh, duh, because it's my idea." Cartman shot back. "But you'll still get plenty. Enough to buy whatever poor people stuff you need, Kenny."

"Works for me, I'm in." Kenny shrugged.

"Dude!" Kyle exclaimed, looking betrayed.

"What? I need money!"

You sighed, glancing around the table. "So let me get this straight." You started, mentally preparing yourself. "You want us to break into random people's houses, pretend to find ghosts, and charge them a fortune for it? Do you even have a plan for how this is supposed to work?"

"Of course I have a plan!" Cartman replied, puffing out his chest. "Step one, we make a website and some fake business cards. Step two, we spread the word around town. Step three, profit."

"That's not a plan." Stan muttered, leaning back in his chair again.

"It's a great plan." Cartman's brows furrowed together. "And you know what? If you don't want in, fine. But when I'm rolling in cash and you're stuck eating this nasty ass lunch food, don't come crying to me."

Stan groaned, rubbing his temples. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but fine. I'm in. Only to make sure you don't burn someone's house down."

Kyle threw his hands up with a groan and a roll of his eyes. "Oh my God. You're all insane."

"Come on, Kyle." You smirked, nudging him with your elbow. "It could be... Interesting."

Kyle stared at you as if you just suggested jumping off a bridge. But after a moment, he sighed heavily. "Fine. But if this ends in a disaster, I'm blaming all of you."

"Perfect!" Cartman grinned, looking around at his newly recruited 'team'.

"Welcome to the South Park Paranormal Crew, bitches. First job is tomorrow night. Bring flashlights and maybe some fake blood."

Craig glared at Cartman. "Tweek and I never said we were joining."

"I don't care about you losers, go sit on a dick or something." Cartman shot back.

Craig's eyes narrowed, his piercing gaze burning holes through Cartman. "You know what? I'm in, fatass." He spoke through gritted teeth, to which Cartman smirked.

"I-I guess I'm in too." Tweek stammered, his hands shaking uncontrollably.

"Amazing! What do you guys say we have a meeting at my house this night to prepare for tomorrow?" Cartman held a smug and confident look.

"Do we have a choice?" You sighed, already tired of this.

"No. Eight o'clock sharp!" He declared. "Don't forget that, fuckers!"

.

.

.

.

Later that night, the group crowded into Cartman's basement. The space was a mess, an old couch shoved against one wall, half empty soda cans all over a coffee table, and a mysterious stain on the carpet that no one wanted to investigate. You sat quietly between Kyle and Craig, who were both visibly annoyed.

Cartman stood at the front, a whiteboard behind him covered in messy scrambles of ideas that looked more like the ramblings of a lunatic than a business plan. He held a marker in his hands, which he twirled dramatically before slamming it against the board.

"Alright, assholes." He began, pacing in front of the group. "Step one of becoming the greatest ghost hunters South Park has ever seen: branding. We need a website, a killer name and a look that screams 'these guys are legit'."

Stan rolled his eyes from his spot on the couch. "It's hard to scream 'legit' when you're using your mom's basement as headquarters."

"Shut up, Stan!" Cartman snapped. "Do you have a basement we can use? No? Then sit your ass down and let the professionals handle this."

Craig crossed his arms, leaning a bit closer to you, his knee brushing yours. "You don't even know how to make a website, do you?"

"Of course I do!" Cartman lied, puffing out his chest. "It's easy. You just... Click some buttons and stuff. Besides, we have Kyle for that."

Kyle straightened, glaring at Cartman. "Excuse me? Since when did I agree to be your tech support?"

"Since you're the only one here who isn't a complete moron when it comes to computers!" Cartman replied, his tone annoyingly smug.

"Watch it fatass!" Stan snapped as Craig snickered.

Kyle opened his mouth to argue but stopped when you nudged him gently. "You might as well just do it." You whispered. "The sooner we get this over with, the better."

Kyle sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Fine, but I'm not doing this for free."

"Whatever, Jew." Cartman turned back to the whiteboard. "Now, let's talk names. We need something catchy. Something cool."

"How about we call ourselves 'Paranormal Posers'?" Craig deadpanned, earning a laugh from Kenny.

"I've got it!" Clyde exclaimed, clearly excited. "What about 'The Phantom Chasers'?"

"Lame." Cartman dismissed immediately, crossing it off the list. "We need something badass like 'South Park Paranormal Commandos'."

"Or we could just call it what it is." Stan muttered. "'Cartman's Latest Scam'."

"Do you want to get sued, Stan?" Cartman shot back. "No one's putting my name on this thing."

After another twenty minutes of ridiculous suggestions, and several rounds of arguing, you all finally settled on a name. Specter Squad.

"Simple, memorable, and cool as hell." Cartman declared, underlining it three times on the board.

.

.

While Cartman and the others brainstormed more ways to make themselves seem legit, Kyle sat at Cartman's ancient desktop computer, typing at it furiously.

The homepage was basic but effective.

A bold header reading "SPECTER SQUAD: South Park's Premier Ghost Hunting Team" in glowing green text, complete with a stock image of a haunted house in the background.

"This looks so fake." Kyle muttered to himself, shaking his head as he uploaded a photo of the group. It was a hurriedly taken selfie from earlier that night, with Cartman front and center, beaming like an idiot, while everyone else looked irritated.

"Fake is fine." Cartman said, leaning over Kyle's shoulder. "People don't care about professional. They care about scary. Make it spooky."

"Spooky costs extra." Kyle shot back.

The rest of the group gathered around as Kyle added more details to the site.

Services

- Full Paranormal Investigation

- Ghost Removal

- Cleansing Rituals

Reviews

Janet H. - "Specter Squad saved my family from a scary ghost! Worth every penny!"

Sal F. - "I thought my apartment was haunted and they proved me right. Highly recommend!"

"Who t-the hell is 'Janet H.'?" Tweek asked, pointing to one of the reviews.

"Some lady I made up." Cartman replied, completely unfazed.

.

.

With the website finished, you all moved on to advertising. Clyde and Kenny volunteered to print out flyers, which they plastered all over the school the next day. On lockers, bulletin boards, and even the bathroom stalls.

Cartman, meanwhile, moved to social media, creating an Instagram page and spamming hashtags like #HauntedSouthPark and #GhostBeware.

"You think anyone's actually going to believe this?" Craig asked as everyone watched Cartman upload a blurry photos of an attic claiming it was 'evidence' from a recent investigation.

"Of course they will." Cartman replied confidently. "People are dumb. Trust me, by this time tomorrow we'll have our first client."

★yoyomiko ★miko

[meegan-123]

Happy Halloween South Park/South Paws 🐾

[jimmyvalmerenthusiast]

being a part of both team stan and team craig include

|Reader is GN, characters are about 14 years old here so freshman year of HS, Platonic!Team Stan/Craig x GN!Reader|

❥ Absolute chaos, I don't know what you expected.

❥ Having known both groups since preschool has been both beneficial and horrific. On one hand, if you got someone who won’t leave you alone and/or harassing you, consider they ass dead, all you will see if the person messing with you get dragged by the arms or hair by Craig and Cartman as the rest of the boys follow and you never hear or see that person again.

❥ The only one who can really harass you and get away with it is Cartman, the others, mostly everyone else but Kyle, Tolkien, Butters and Tweek, more so just pick on you for stupid shit. Unless it’s something they really find fucking stupid and want to give you shit for it cuz it’s funny to them cuz teenage boys.

❥ On the other hand, the second you mention that you have a crush or are just in a vulnerable state of mind or emotion, you are absolutely getting shitted on, again mostly by Cartman, but the others will give you shit too about things unless it’s something super serious cuz you’ve stated and proved many times before you will absolutely rock their shit if they say one word.

❥ You made one comment about how you missed your gran who just passed and Jimmy and Kenny felt the need to make one stupid “joke” about it. The whole school didn’t see either of them for a week after that. (Kenny prob died and Jimmy nearly saw the pearly gates, that taught him that some jokes aren’t necessary)

❥ Sleepovers with both gangs are a must considering you’re a part of both groups.

❥ One weekend you spend at Stan’s house or sometimes Kyle’s or Cartman’s with him, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Butters. Those weekends usually consist of a lot of bullying Butters (not that you partake unless it’s something really stupid), Kyle and Cartman arguing and/or Kyle beating the shit out of him while you and Stan just kinda watch him get what he deserves as Kenny laughs his ass off (Butters attempts to stop Kyle but ultimately lets it happen anyway, Eric’s an asshole to him so he had it coming), and lots of video games per Stan and Kyle and takeout because of Cartman’s fatass, not that Kenny is complaining about it.It’s a bit of a stressful and chaotic weekend so when you return home Sunday night, you hideaway in your room to recover from their shenanigans before you see them at school.

❥ I’d say the following weekend when you spend it with Craig and those guys is better but let’s be honest..it’s not, it’s probably just as bad. Some weekends when you get dropped off at Tolkien’s, you’re half minded to just get back in your parents car and go home. These weekends usually consist of lots of chatter and/or outbursts (Tweek) from pretty much everyone but Tolkien, Craig’s probably yapping about red racer or stripe or Tweek, Clyde’s blabbering on about something probably stupid or his relationship with Bebe, Tweek is well…tweaking and/or is clinging to you or Craig, and Jimmy’s probably making repeated stupid jokes if he can get them out that is. You and Tolkien often look at each other like this:

❥ If no one is yapping, y’all are probably screaming as you race in Mario Kart or raging in Mario Party. Clyde’s most likely crying, Jimmy’s in shock, Tolkien and Craig are probably sweating and focused attempting to make a comeback, Tweek is almost losing his mind and you’re just standing or sitting with a shit eating grin on your face as the first place music plays while the rest are still racing or watching whoever is playing or your sitting in first with 9 stars and over 100 coins whilst everyone else is in dead last with one to none since you stole everything else.

❥ Safe to say, you’ve been banned from both games at the sleepovers. You’re okay with that though cuz while everyone else is focused on the games, you’re eating away at the snacks Mrs.Black has brought for y’all, well more so for you considering she seems to favor you over the boys. They’re not too pleased about this lol

❥ Okay so maybe not as bad as sleepovers at Stan’s but still chaotic.

❥ Both groups may be assholes but they have their good sides too. It’s to be expected that you’ll get shit on for something as does everyone in both groups but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you, you are one of their best friends after all.

❥ Kyle, Tolkien and Butters are always good to go to for someone who’ll listen while you rant and give you advice about something, Kenny, Clyde and Jimmy are good to go to when you could use a hug or some form of affection (Ofc Jimmy can’t do a lot but that won’t stop him from at least using one of his arms to wrap around you and give you a squeeze), Stan and Tweek are unexpectedly good to go to to for a quick but genuine laugh since they can be unintentionally funny, and Cartman and Craig are good to go to when you need to just scream, shout, curse or just rage since they’ll have little reaction or give you a justified reaction to your anger.

❥ Movie nights are constantly a thing as well, like the sleepovers you do one weekend with Stan’s group and the next with Craig’s, you told them from the beginning that you wouldn't ever do the whole “spend a majority of time with one group and very little with the other.” You were friends with both groups and would spend an even amount of time with both. Some of the boys complained about it in the beginning but eventually came around after seeing how well it worked.

❥ You had seen how jealousy worked within both groups and decided it was best to avoid anyone getting jealous because someone else’s group got more time while the other group didn’t.

❥ But one weekend, you had tried getting both groups together to do one big movie night all together since it was so rare for both groups to get along enough to do something together and thought it would be easier to gather at yours. Yeah you never did that again after that weekend, it was more than you had bargained for and after only 2 hours of everyone being at yours, you snapped at them all and sent them all away and back home because no one could agree on anything or get along (Stan and Tolkien nearly got physical cuz Stan was instigating, Craig was threatening to choke Kenny out because he wouldn’t shut up, Clyde and Kyle were almost screaming at each other over movie choices, Cartman was calling Jimmy derogatory names, and Butters and Tweek were honestly just hiding in the other room to avoid the fighting but you coulda swore Tweek had to have bitten or hit Butters when you heard Butters scream ow).

❥ In the end, you ended up calling Wendy and the girls over to watch movies with you instead because the boys had been so much that they nearly pushed you to tears with their fighting.

❥ By the end of the first movie alone, your phone had been blowing up with calls, texts, and even emails from the guys all trying to apologize for ruining the night you worked so hard for just for them to ruin it all.

❥ Safe to say, it took at least 2 months for you to even acknowledge any of them as your friends after that so lesson learned.

❥ Overall, you love your friend groups but jesus christ they have some problems but nonetheless they’re special to you, even if some days you want to just kill them all.

[monchich]

South park fanfiction recommendations:

Really deep and beautiful:

Sincerely, your super-best-friend Kyle

Just breathe, dude.

I'm not Cartman.

((AKA- After growing up leaves the two all but physically separated, Kyle and Stan finally find something they can share with each other to feel normal again.))

stan starts to fall for kyle in junior year of high school. this trilogy changed my life, its wonderful but gut wrenching.

A quiet place (where I can scream how I love you)

Stan stares at the endless landscape stretched out before him, brash mountains and the hazy clouds of the early morning rolling in.

He thinks that it all can’t be that bad, if he has Kyle. That as long as he has him next to him, pressed against him like he is now, everything could be okay.

(Stan and Kyle, and how they become irretrievably intertwined over the years)

oneshots/ stories that feel like oneshots:

omg just read everything by hollycomb

Flotsam & Jetsam

The world ends, and ends again, and Stan tries to always know what Kyle needs.

dystopian world

Toward the End of Time

Kyle is back in South Park for Thanksgiving. Stan gets in touch, as usual.

somber and melancholic love

Paper Crowns and Waverunners

Kyle's birthday celebrations, from five years old to sixteen, have always involved Stan. His participation evolves over the years.

fluff

It's Hard to Know They're Out There

They're bloody and grim but they're still his best friends.

ghosts and afterlife. angst.

The Scenic Route

The boys embark on a six day road trip to California before separating for college. Cartman is a pain in the ass, Kenny has no future, Butters is in crisis, and Kyle doesn't know how he'll say goodbye to Stan.

all in all, super beautiful.

Books That Did and Didn't Burn

In high school, Stan's mother thinks his old friend Kyle will be a good influence. Kyle doubts it.

extrapolated based on youre getting old and assburgers. complex stanky.

[halliestinks]

Hi, i was wondering if you could do some wholesome headcannons for Y/N (who acts like Douchebag in the sot game) Thats like a sister to Cartman. His mother adores her and he likes to bully her. But when others do it hes like "No only i can >:/"

Cartman w/ reader who’s like a sister to him

a/n: this is an old request that’s been sitting in my inbox for over 2 yrs, decided to write it as my first request since i’ve returned :3

• oh boy, cartman as a brother figure could be both great and awful.

• having first met you he would notice how quiet and chill you are, trying to get you to crack on many different occasions (failing miserably everytime). he never really cared too much about you. however once you started to spend more time with him and you found yourself at his house quite often, you developed an unexpected sibling bond with him

• he would definitely take advantage of your silence whenever he asks for a favour, immediately roping you into any and all of his problems. (kind of like butters— however he doesn’t screw you over as much)

• the teasing is the worst part. he knows exactly what ticks you off and how to break your silent facade

“HAHAHA YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE!!”

“… 🙂”

• he knows when to stop though

• he unfortunately learnt his lesson after you beat the crap out of him for pushing you way past your limit!! (i just love sibling bonding experiences)

• aside from all of that… cartman is actually really fun to be around when he’s not being an asshole. the two of you usually spend your time together playing video games and doing random shit outside in the snow

• his mom absolutely adores you!!! she would constantly ask cartman if you would be coming over to their place later, always making sure to cook extra for dinner just in case

• cartman definitely gets jealous over his mom pampering you, thinks that she should pay more attention to her real son. and to piss him off even more, his mom always makes sure he shares everything with you

“but myeeeem… those are my cheesy poofs 🤬”

“😈😈”

• cartman’s mom is completely oblivious to any of the sibling rivalry, instead tells cartman he just needs to learn to share

• both of you have a silent agreement to always stick up for each other if either of you are being bullied, (not that cartman really needs help)

• i don’t think cartman would straight up defend you, however he would take your side in more subtle ways

“come on guys, let’s cut y/n some slack… otherwise she’ll get all depressed and probably start crying..”

“😐”

• but if anyone ever hurt you physically or did bully you to the point of actually hurting you, cartman will find out and go on a tangent about how he’s the only person who’s allowed to do that. plus if he’s in a bad mood then he’d probably figure out a way to ruin their life

• anyways.. at the end of most days, you find yourself sleeping on the floor in cartman’s room (he kicks you off his bed) and the two of you stay up late having silly conversations— finding yourselves laughing so hard to the point of tears

• until his mom comes in and tells you to go to bed because it’s a school night 🙄

• the two of you never listen, secretly doing an all nighter then feeling like absolute crap the next day. (it’s just a nightly tradition at this point)

• a lot of kids at school mistake you two for actually being related, which never fails to make you smile

• maybe he isn’t such a bad non biological brother after all

[kikisoda]

𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩, 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮

[gn!reader] part three to when you come home to me. two consecutive breaks of running into the same, pretty face, just for no date whatsoever. maybe the third time’s really the charm. kyle broflovski x reader wc: 997

AN: like n rb if u liked this!

When summer rolls along, you find that you’re all alone for the next two months. You’ve barely—if at all—kept up with your friends from high school, and none of your college friends come from this small town either. The only person from here that you still talk to regularly is your sister, but she’s got her own life.

So, to pass the time, you sit by Stark’s Pond.

You could be doing anything else—picking up a hobby, scrolling aimlessly, maybe even reconnecting with someone local—but you choose to sit and watch the water. Maybe it’s comfort. Maybe it's just natural instinct at this point. Either way, you’re here again.

You’re reminded that in three days, there’s a one-year reunion with your old high school friends. You’ll see the familiar faces, do small talk so tiny it kills, do underage drinking courtesy of Cartman—but most of all, you’ll see Kyle.

You could ask him out. You’ve definitely thought about it more than once.

But then again... maybe he probably has a girlfriend now. How wouldn’t he? He’s smart, kind, charming in that low-effort way that gets under your skin. He’s the sort of person people gravitate toward without even trying.

Maybe that’s why you’re in Stark’s Pond. Your quiet solace where, even for a minute, the world doesn’t have to expect anything of you. It still is your quiet solace after all this time.

You’re mid-thought when you hear footsteps shuffle in the grass behind you. You don't turn around right away. People pass by all the time. But this time, something makes you look.

"YN?"

You recognize the voice instantly. Kyle, Kyle—whom you’ve been waiting to see the moment you entered town. Kyle, who you haven’t been sure how to approach since your last meeting.

You blink up at him, surprised. “Kyle? What are you doing here?”

He shrugs with a sheepish smile. “I always end up here when I don’t know what to do with myself.”

You nod, scooting slightly on the bench so he can sit if he wants. “Huh, same. Kind of strange how it’s only now we cross paths here.”

He joins you, finding a seat next to you. For a moment, neither of you says anything. It’s not uncomfortable—just full of things that haven’t been said, you figure.

“I wasn’t sure if you were back,” he says eventually.

“I wasn’t sure if I wanted people to know,” you admit with a small smile. “Didn’t want to get pulled into hangouts right away. Thought I’d just... exist for a bit.”

“I get that,” he says. “Honestly, it’s been kind of weird being back. Like everything looks the same but feels a little... off.”

“Yeah,” you nod. “Like I’ll see something and realize how different it is, like I was viewing it from my childhood.”

He chuckles softly. “Exactly. You know, I used to come here a lot junior and senior years. It wasn’t really the best time of my life, and I don’t think I told anyone.

“This was kind of my ‘avoid people and pretend life is fine’ spot.” He hums.

You glance at him. “Would’ve never thought that we were both avoiding things in the same place.”

“Maybe we were just on opposite sides of the pond,” he says, smiling gently.

There’s a beat of quiet, and then he adds, “I still remember when you broke the vending machine in the gym hallway.”

You groan. “Oh my god, that was not my fault. It ate my coins. I was defending my dignity.”

“You slammed it so hard it gave you three sodas.”

“And none of them were the one I wanted! We can’t always win.”

He laughs, and you find yourself laughing too. It’s easy. Familiar. Kind. Much kinder than you’d ever wish.

It makes you catch your breath for a second. And in that second, you felt a hitch in your throat, and you could hear your heartbeat straight to your ears.

God be, he might have picked it up because he quickly chimed in again. “High school was something,” he says, fully leaning back on the bench.

“Yeah. Part of me is glad it’s over, though.”

“Same. But it’s strange... There are still people I miss.”

You glance over at him. He’s watching the water again.

“Like Stan?” you tease, raising a brow.

He shakes his head, smirking. “Yeah, him. And a few others. You, for one.”

You blink. “Me?”

“Yeah,” he says, quieter now. “I mean, we were around each other so much, but I don’t think I ever really... made an effort to get to know you, you know?”

You look away, heart beating a little faster. “I think you were fine, if not great.”

He shrugs. “Still. I always figured we had more time.”

You nod, not trusting yourself to say much.

You both fall into a quiet rhythm, watching the water ripple and the dragonflies skim its surface. You can hear how the breeze makes the cattails dance, the water splash ever so gently, and kids playing some rowdy games not too far away.

Then he speaks, almost too casually. “Um, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“Yeah?”

“If I asked you to get coffee or take a walk in the park sometime, maybe this Saturday, would that be weird?”

You turn to look at him. He’s not looking at you, just at the pond, like he’s bracing himself for the absolute worst.

“Not weird,” you say, after a second. You're biting the inside of your cheek, hiding your smile. “Actually, I was thinking of asking you the same thing.”

He glances at you, almost startled—and then he breathes, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and he grins, wide and genuine. 

“Okay,” he laughs. “So it’s not weird.”

“Nope. Not at all.”

You both sit in silence for a moment longer, grinning like fools.

The pond glimmers in the afternoon light, and suddenly, the summer doesn’t seem so lonely anymore.

divider

[suprsingr]

the thing about kyman that I don't think people understand is that if cartman one day just said Fuck it and told kyle he authentically for real and for true is in love with him, kyle might think he's full of shit at first, but as soon as he realized it wasn't fake he'd be like "aw :( that's so nice and so fucking sad and pathetic. y'know what? I'm gonna date you and get you into therapy and on medication and motivate you to do well in school and become a decent person and then as soon as that's done and I know you're emotionally regulated enough to handle it I'm gonna find you a partner who can actually love you back and finally get to move on with my life knowing that I made the world a better place."

and he would just keep telling himself that. they'd get married and have kids and on their thirtieth wedding anniversary toasting their eternal love in a luxury hotel room they just fucked nasty in for twenty whole old man minutes he'd still at the back of his head be like "I'm doing a very good deed by humoring him like this" and never see anything wrong with... any of that. and that's kyman