#okie gonna try to go back to drifting off now lol

[random-kido]

[againstme]

🎧 🎧 :)

hiiiiiiiii :3 ! gonna do 3 songs from my spotify wrapped of 2023, w lyrics i like and why! sowwy i'm a day late but thanks for sending an ask :P

oh hell yeah. i love hedwig and the angry inch. first time i watched this movie i was wayyyyyyy too high and barely comprehended anything, except for the visuals from this song, and wig in a box. basically, watch the movie. so good, so trans, i love it. u have to experience it if you havent. anyways, lyrics. this song is based off of the symposium by plato. that is obviously quite a long and dense read, but the song is loosely based on it, in a non euro-centric retelling of the story. i love the gender, if that makes sense, lol.

And there were three sexes then One that looked like two men Glued up back to back Called the children of the sun And similar in shape and girth Were the children of the earth They looked like two girls Rolled up in one And the children of the moon Were like a fork shoved on a spoon They were part sun, part earth Part daughter, part son

i love bayside. i feel like they're so underrated. such divorce songs, though. i love divorce songs. and their guitars are incredible.

I don't know where to go I don't know if this thing's still working My heart's not beating anymore And I don't know if I bleed Test it out just to see Cuz the best that I can hope to be Is strong enough to leave

i know this song is definitely about divorce/an ending relationship, but while reading these lyrics, i'm relating these ones in particular to being in residential treatment right now. i really don't know where to go, i don't know if treatment is where i'm supposed to be. i'm slowly feeling like i'm running out of steam, but the only, and best thing that i can do, is try to keep going.

oof, yeah this song hits. i've been into it since maybe my sophomore year, but i think i've started to relate to it more as i've grown older and my relationships have changed.

i've always had a hard time making friends. i was never the one with a large friend group, that was always my brother's thing. so i really only had like one, or maybe a handful, of people that i kind of felt like i could talk to, on a semi-regular basis, but i'd never have them over to my house, or vice-versa. so i didn't really feel like we were truly friends, at least to me. it felt like the other friends were more friends with each other than they were with me. which was really just my life, up to that point.

i think partially due to my doubts about the integrity of the friendships, but also due to distance and time, we all drifted apart. and i kind of felt like i failed at the whole "making friends" thing, for a bit, as i watched the friendships that i thought were going to last for a while dwindle and fizzle out.

anyways, like the lyrics say, i did resolve to make new friends. i liked my old ones, but i feel like i fucked up, and when moving to a new place and being introduced to a new group of people, it was what felt like my one and only opportunity to try the whole having friends, especially having a friend group, thing again. and it worked, this time.

Is there anyone here I know? I look around the room, Whatever, I let it go.

I resolve to make new friends, I liked my old ones, But I fucked up, so I'll start again.

What's the worst that could happen?

okie yeah those are the three chase songie songs u get. with the classic long winded chase commentary of me basically just word vomiting all over my keyboard. i'm avoiding doing my chore of cleaning the dining room right now and i'm doing this instead because it's more fun.

so thank u for the distraction. i'm gonna play this song on guitar now and, reluctantly, clean the dining room.

<3

[shadowcatgirl09]

Fic updates everywhere!

Damn that last time I did one of these was in December I think?? Wow. Okay so I finally have the motivation to do one of these again (didn’t think that was gonna ever happen.) I’ve mostly doing some writing here and there, reading (I’ve recently become obsessed with this ya trilogy called Num8ers, it’s really good), and been in a weird funk as of late. But I’m living off of the salt of my facebook timeline right now. Fair warning this will be long. So without further ado.

 First I’m getting @leianaberrie out of the way because my girl didn’t update not once but five times.

Original freaking Sin

Joshua, Grams, and Abby discussing locating and killing Kai. Please tell me they got that blood from Jo and not from Bonnie’s stomach. Poor Bonnie, that girl is in too deep right now. Poor nephew uncle Zach getting his memory wiped. Bonnie runs off to find Kai and leaves the necklace behind I’m like:

I should not be excited about this. I was right, it was a trap.

But at least they were reunited for a little while before all hell breaks loose.

I’ll Wed You In The Golden Summertime

Holy cow this story just became 10x more tolerable now that Damon’s ass is out of the picture! Shame he didn’t actually die though. So it’s all just a ploy. Okie dokie then, Bonnie’s a good actress. I know she’s pissed with her cousin, mom and the Gemini Coven and it’s supposed to be justified but my hatred of Damon just makes me look at Bonnie like:

He’s seriously not worth the trouble. Hmm but that BonKai sexual tension though.

I love how she just can’t get him out of her head (not that I blame her I mean it’s Kai.) I loved when Kai called her out on her hero complex. I never understood that myself actually, especially considering who she was mostly sacrificing for. But that’s a rant for another time. Bless you Jeremy for opening the floodgate of doubt! I mean Freya planted the seed but

I needed that. And then Nora out here giving Bonnie the truth. I loved that she would not betray Kai no matter what. All of my respect.

Bonnie’s devotion of Damon isn’t fucking natural fam. He treats her like shit repeatedly while she goes above and beyond for him. He only pulls through when it benefits him. Their relationship is so one-sided it’s downright disturbing. She needed to hear that. The fact that she couldn’t even counter back left me satisfied.

I thought Kol and Bonnie had an one-sided crush thing going on not a full ten day honey-moon like fling! Girl you could’ve had it aaallllll.

Of course we get to the end of the chapter where Damon does what Damon does best and that’s twist and manipulate facts in his favor.

And sadly Bonnie believes him because like the author’s note said the story wouldn’t be the way it is if she didn’t come to Damon biased conclusions. Le sigh.

Sweet Jesus! I’m barely finished when you update with another chapter! Omg how do you do it?

Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie, I get her anger, truly I do but Lucy has her cousin’s best interests at heart. Ugh it’s so conflicting! On one hand I want to feel bad for Bonnie because her family really wasn’t there for her when she needed them but her actions toward everyone got me like:

Her outburst at Liv was uncalled for. I’m glad Liv put her in her place. I wish they had let Lucy in on the plan. Man when she said what her favor was I was like:

I kinda had a feeling that’s what her favor was but actually hear her say it. I feel bad for Lucy.

So now Bonnie’s starting to slowly question everything. Bout damn time.

Ha she gonna make Damon explain.

“You mean he’ll tell you a more convincing lie.” 

I mean it’s what he does best. I can’t wait to see how fast Damon’s gonna throw her to the wolves when he finds out about Lucy’s favor (or what was her favor.) Please for the love of god Bonnie listen to Jeremy. That or make her go through something to see that Kol wasn’t lying. That little invisible letter trick was pretty cool. Ah so the traitors are slowly starting to show themselves.

Okay so is she gonna legit kill one of the Gemini or is she going to tell Kai that they contacted her? Now I’m anxious for the next chapter.

Long Shadows!

It was finally updated

Bonnie, Elena and Caroline just being friends hanging out like before all the bs happened

While I need more BonKai (I’ll get to that in a minute) I need more of that too. Cause the show don’t know what it’s doing with anything right now. My god Kai and Matt’s argument at the table. In fact that whole dinner was crazy fam. Rebekah attacking Kai (it was justified imo), Bonnie saving him, and of course all of the stuff the MF gang was out of the loop about had me like:

Matt was all types of disrespectful. I understand he had losses but so did his friends. Like Bonnie mentioned he still has family left. I’m gonna need Matt to just out right tell her has feelings because this is getting out of hand.

Okay I’m not gonna lie while I want to see Bonnie and Kai working together (but let’s be fair that’s not happening anytime soon) I’m actually more interested in whoever the traitor is. It’s playing out like a murder mystery and I gotta admit I’m more into that than the Heretic mess. Speaking of which props to Rebekah for wanting to help out the team, hopefully that goes well.

Alrighty first I just wanna say both Kai and Bonnie were in the wrong with the Heretic situation. Kai should’ve never brought them out no matter what he had in mind for them and Bonnie should’ve stayed out of his business. I understand where she was coming from but yeah the point still stands. Anyhoo~

At the same time I’m gonna need these two to have hot angry sex or something because the tension between these two in this story is ridiculous man. Like Kai legit has blue balls. I need an update for this one!

Safe Haven

@mysticfalls-originals Girl you hurting me here. My poor baby is suffering from nightmares again! Poor Bonnie is worried about him and he won’t admit something’s wrong making it worse by the day.

But when she got home and saw what Kai did I was like:

He bought her a thousand single stemmed roses and made her her favorite breakfast. Goals man goals.

Omg the Kai and Jeremy talk. “Your bar was raised pretty high when you knocked it down like a bad round of Jenga.”

Damn Kai. Okay I totally get why Jeremy doesn’t trust Kai really I do but the hypocrisy is real as Kai pointed out. Jeremy could’ve been the bigger man but eh he screwed himself over during that little convo. Hell that was the highlight of the chapter for me. I’m waiting on the next chapter to see how the party goes seeing as how she said the Gemini Coven is coming there.

I seriously love that crew, Cody in particular. Seriously this fic is the reason Theo Raeken is usually all over my dash.

Mundane

Oh how I wish that author of that fic had a tumblr, on that note I wish pennytree had one too.

Back to the subject at hand. They’re back to being friends like their friendship was never messed up in the first place!

No like seriously their friendship gives me life in this fic. Oh god Bonnie still has feelings but doesn’t know if they’re reciprocated.

Bonnie honey no, just suck it in and continue to be friends with him. Lol things are awkward with Connor now

I shouldn’t be laughing at that but it’s hard not to. Wait nope scratch that he played himself on that date, he had it coming. Kai’s going to England for the summer. Bonnie and me like:

Bon’s hella lonely now. I mean she counting days and crap. Her phone call with Kai gave me cavities. Ah good old Sheila knew just what to say, Bonnie needed to hear that. Rudy reveals he’s dating LILY SALVATORE. Bloody hell I don’t know how I feel about that one. I’m stuck between shock and ew. OMFG Jo no!

For the love of god stop messing with that boy! Your brother gonna wind up killing him.

Aww Kai booked an earlier flight back and wanted to surprise Bonnie.

Oh hell I thought the phone call gave me cavities. They really did the cheesy ass reunited at the airport hug. It was beautiful. I need a blood sugar pill now.

After that reunion there’s no way in hell there’s no mutual feelings there. Oh crap some classmates saw them together. Because this is a high school au this can go one of two ways. A. The girls are just hype they saw Kai or B. Rumors are about to be spread about Bonnie and Kai being a thing (it’s more than likely B.)

Subterfuge

@albion19 This fic is everything right now. No Damon just Bonnie and Kai in 1994.

I’m loving their friendship right now. Kai and his little slip ups that Bonnie’s catching on to. “I think we’re part of each other’s lives now. I’ll support you.”

But then I remember that this is a BonKai fic and Bonnie’s words are more than likely going to come back to bite her in the ass

Doing Time In Sedona

Joshua still a freaking creeper like:

I mean I wouldn’t mind Kai and Bonnie mixing bloodlines if you get my drift but the way Joshua goes on about it is just no. He literally marked off which Bennetts he could or could not use. The little Parkwood moment was cute.

Bonnie finally took the steps and kissed Kai!

My ass was waiting for that since he was introduced in the fic! Unfortunately she has to leave right after.

 Hopefully they’ll get to be reunited without to much trouble.

@jemicloisfan Damn girl you updating like leianaberrie!

I admit I’m still getting used to two things with her writing,

1. I’m not used to someone shipping Jeremy and Elena (at least she makes them not related sometimes) 

2. Her simplistic way of writing, it’s not bad, in fact I enjoy it because it’s quick to get through.

Red Blood

I never knew I needed a Werewolf!Kai au before. I love how everyone keeps commenting on the guyliner. Oh bloody hell I’m sensing a love triangle but knowing her work it’s gonna get shut down.

I love when she does that.

Safe In Your Arms

She got her memories back and is heading to Mystic Falls!

Kai stop it, try as you might you know damn well you ain’t moving on from Bonnie. Oohh so the siblings are going to work together to kill Daddy Parker or at least lock him up somewhere, good shit.

Damon attacks Jeremy out jealousy, Alaric blows him up I think (no seriously there was a denotar and stuff). Elena to Alaric “Please take out the trash.” Alaric takes Damon outside.

Me:

In light of episode 10 of this craptastic season I needed that.

Hate That I Love You

I’ll say it once, I’ll say it a thousand times; Two things I will never get tired of reading about in BonKai fics is jealous!Kai and daddy!Kai. In this story Kai has a little mini me running around that he didn’t know about (to be fair if he had stuck around he would’ve known.) After going through some arguments with Bonnie and making up he gets to see his son again. I was just:

The little boy is immediately attached to him, they’re building model planes together, and his son wants to grow a beard just like him. I’m a mess because it’s rare for Kai to have a little boy in fics.

The Beat of My Heart

BONJAKE! There seriously needs to be more fics of these two!

Anyway~

Damn even in an au crossover Bonnie still gets screwed over. The poor girl’s pregnant, the baby dad is a dead beat, and now she’s stuck in quarantine. Ugh Jake is such a sweetheart and their developing relationship is too adorable.

Okay look I’ve never watched Containment I just saw clips here and there; (I’ve seen the Tomorrow People and TVD, Julie’s crap is well yeah.) But I am enjoying what I’m seeing here and can’t wait for the next update.

Thinking of You

I’m not gonna lie I’m iffy about this because it’s based off of Pearl Harbor and couldn’t stand that movie. Of course I’m an open-minded person so I want to see how this story turns out. I will admit I’m liking what I’m seeing so far.

Regency

I should be ashamed because Enzo died recently but when Kai cut off his finger my ass was that above gif. I was feeling like Bonnie in that moment.

Damn Kai like omg, his obsession with Bonnie is real fam. He’s willing to jail his trusted advisors, get a divorce, and when the divorce doesn’t work he’ll kick his wife out. When he finds out Bonnie’s not a virgin is going to be hella interesting.