#oki here's this one

[thetomorrowshow]

Whumptober 27 - Voiceless

title: we cannot push ourselves away from this quiet

fandom: hermitcraft smp

cw: muzzles

another part in my sleep cycle series, comprising of days 8, 23, and 26 :)

~

They found Mumbo in the basement.

Grian hadn’t been allowed to come along, as much as he’d fought for it. Four Hermits had gone missing out of nowhere—throwing Grian into a mess like that would have been just asking for trouble.

They hadn’t even been looking for Mumbo. As far as anyone knew, Mumbo was just off taking a break from the season. They’d been looking for the other four, only missing for a week—Doc, Ren, Impulse, Tango. Apparently, when they found them, Doc had gone on and on about the basement and how someone needed help down there, and when Gem and False had gone down to check it out, they’d found Mumbo.

He wasn’t too badly hurt, luckily—malnourished as all get out, with a couple of scrapes and bruises, but he was in better shape than Impulse and Doc, which, considering he was there for so much longer, was pretty good.

Now he’s back, and Grian couldn’t be more excited.

He hasn’t gotten to see Mumbo, yet—he came down with a cold the day the rescue happened, so had been banned from the medical building they’d set up—but he can’t wait.

He wants to throw a party—he doesn’t, but he wants to. Xisuma had laid a strict no-overexcitement-for-the-kidnapped rule, no matter the circumstances. So Grian does not trap Mumbo’s base with a glitter bomb or prepare any special gifts. He just stops by for a visit.

Mumbo’s got his back turned toward Grian when he arrives, digging through a shulker box and tossing various pieces of junk on the ground. For a moment, Grian’s about to sneak up on him and tap him on the shoulder, but he decides that would be a pretty poor idea, as far as his ideas went.

No-overexcitement-for-the-kidnapped, and all that.

“Hey, Mumbo,” he says loudly, approaching slowly.

Mumbo’s surprised jump is not subtle, and he spins around, letting the lid of the shulker box drop with a resounding crack. He also jumps at that, shoulders shooting up practically to his ears.

“Hey,” Grian says again, and geez, Pearl was not kidding about the malnourishment.

Mumbo’s always been thin, but not like this. His cheeks are sunken, his jawline harsher and clavicle clearly sticking out. His suit coat is missing, but even his white button-up hangs loose on him, and his slacks are actually held up by his suspenders instead of simply held in place.

He hasn’t shaved, either. Clearly, he has shaved since returning (three days ago, mostly spent in Scar’s bed shop-turned-hospital), but it’s been long enough that the stubble on his cheeks and chin is visible. That, combined with the oily shadows under his eyes and the bone-thin frame and his too-long hair, clutches at Grian’s heart with an iron fist.

But he puts on a smile. “I missed you,” he says. “Settling in all right? Do you need anything?”

Mumbo’s eyes dart around. He shrugs, tongue flicking out to moisten his lips. Then, belatedly, he twitches, opens his mouth.

“Er, no. Thanks.”

It’s all he says. Those three syllables are uttered so lowly as to be near-whispered, and after a half-attempt at a smile that fails miserably, Mumbo turns back to his shulker box.

The grip on Grian’s heart squeezes tighter.

“Okay,” he says, toning his own voice down. “Is it okay if I just hang out with you? We don’t have to talk, just . . . parallel working.”

He might be mistaken, but he thinks he sees Mumbo’s shoulders relax a fraction of an inch.

Mumbo nods, back still toward Grian. So Grian plops down a shulker box of his own and starts organizing, occasionally offering little comments or detouring to tell Mumbo a story about something that happened while he was gone.

Mumbo never says anything back, but he relaxes more and more. When Grian leaves a couple of hours later, the smile on Mumbo’s face is small, cautious—but genuine.

Grian doesn’t know what happened to him, or why he doesn’t want to talk.

That’s okay. He’s here for him, no matter what.

-

“He didn’t choose you,” Milo murmurs, gently running his hands through Mumbo’s hair. “We gave him a choice. He didn’t choose you.”

As much as Mumbo wants to pull away from the touch, he doesn’t.

Mumbo used to talk to himself. He would explain various redstone concepts, design new machines, picture his builds in his mind’s eye as he detailed everything aloud.

It was mere days before his guards tired of his noise.

He’s been muzzled ever since.

At first, the muzzle had been on conditionally. If he agreed to work for them, they would take off the muzzle. They would give him something solid to eat. They would let him work unbound, with a bed and a bath and everything he might need.

Those aren’t on the table anymore, he thinks. They don’t even demand his skills anymore, they just leave him in this dark room and sometimes feed him disgusting blends of food.

There are tears in his eyes. He’s been here by himself for so long, his only visitors his tormentors. Unable to speak, unable to open his mouth.

Milo had come in hours ago, had told him that they had one of his friends. He said that the friend would be given a choice: to free Mumbo of the muzzle, or free someone else of their muzzle. Inconsequential decisions. Zero repercussions for choosing one of them, no other stipulations.

Why wouldn’t he choose him? It’s been so long, so long, he’s going to die if he has to spend another moment without being able to move his mouth, with the leather strap that seems to have melded into his skin, tight and heavy and world-ending.

He can’t talk. He can’t talk, and it’s been so long that he doesn’t know if he ever will talk again.

“I know. It’s hard. He cares more about a stranger than he does you. I am here.”

He’s being stockholm syndrome’d. Mumbo knows it.

Knowing that doesn’t make the tears fall any slower. Knowing that doesn’t mean he drags himself away from Milo’s hold.

-

Mumbo circles down, down to where Grian is polishing Grumbot, and lands on the rocky ground, stumbling a bit. He waves hesitantly, and Grian hops down from Grumbot’s shoulder.

“Hey!” Grian greets, offering a smile. Mumbo smiles back, then starts setting down shulker boxes.

“A swan, today?”

Mumbo bites his lip, then nods. “Y-yeah,” he manages, the word oddly loud. He cringes, cheeks burning red.

After waiting for a nod, Grian wraps Mumbo in a soft hug, gently squeezing. “That’s all right,” he says into Mumbo’s chest. “It’s okay to be a swan.”

Mumbo eases into the hug, squeezing Grian back.

Despite Mumbo’s swan days (days where talking is uncomfortable for him) being almost more common than his talking days, he’s always willing to accept physical affection. Grian makes sure to hug him as much as possible, remind him that it’s okay to struggle.

Mumbo’s never told him why he struggles to speak, and Grian’s never asked. It feels too personal, too demanding.

What Mumbo has told them, though, is how long he was in captivity.

Two months.

Two months, compared to the week of everyone else, so doesn’t he have ample reason to not talk sometimes? After all, Doc still refuses to be by himself, Ren spooks when anyone touches him, and Tango spent the first week avoiding everyone only to now be inseparable from Impulse, and they were only gone for a week.

Trauma is trauma, and it isn’t Grian’s place to judge how it affects his friends. He’ll be there for Mumbo whether it’s a swan day or not, and he won’t press for answers.

Interestingly, Mumbo doesn’t even send messages when it’s a swan day. They’d tried that, once, but he had only managed to message a couple of words before shaking his head.

Maybe he doesn’t really think in words on swan days. Maybe it’s just exhausting to form them.

Grian doesn’t ask, and it really doesn’t matter. Today, he hugs Mumbo, then chatters on while he cleans and Mumbo sketches out some redstone plots.

It’s only been a month since they brought him home, and already his suit fits better. He’s shaving regularly again, his eyes are brighter, the shadows under them not near so heavy.

Today, Grian smiles, and Mumbo smiles back.

[cloud-ya]

kolejny taco pies, tym razem również oki i leosia

[stardust-moth]

In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.

Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.

1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.

Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.

He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.

He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.

2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.

In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.

Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.

For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.

He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.

3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.

The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.

Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.

She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.

Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.

4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.

On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.

He's helpless to save her, again.

4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...

El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.

Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...

Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...

There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.

Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.

She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.

He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.

She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.

Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.

The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.

He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.

And it works. It's music to her ears.

[ratatatastic]

gustav "adonis" forsling has gone from statue/sculpture to mythical greek god to physical specimen to carved out of stone to "might be a descendant of one of the big three: zeus hades or poseidon" i feel so faint right now

okie admitting the team does say all of these things makes me feel FAINT. OKIE SAYING THESE THINGS.

unfortunately the cats are very predictable and thusly restart the counter...

NHL Network interview | 6.14.24 (x)(x)

gustav forsling, deadpannedly serious, saying "no" (with a smile)

[oofuri2003]

[gomzdrawfr]

Happy birthday our most chewable and huggable panda

I’m always grateful that I’m able to become your friend and meet so many amazing people

Remember to treat yourself better and don’t push yourself too hard, you’re the best ❤️

Age +1, hope your health and happiness +99999999 too

(thank you Ser @s3rrrpentine for helping me visualize the my thoughts and adding all those cute details!! you brought the idea to another level <3)

oh my gAWD YOU GUYS 🥺 tkajsdh thanK YOU SO MUCH WHAT THE HECK THIS IS SO COLORFUL AND PRETTY!!!

thank you @s3rrrpentine this whole piece has so much detail i have to ramble about it AAAA I love the box wrappers...the boba tea AAA...ITS PROB WEIRD TO POINT IT OUT BUT I GENUINELY LOVE SOAP'S ONE THE MOST

AND ALSO?? is this Jelly??????😭🩷

and of course...my dearest Raven and Price AAAAAAAA they're so pretty and content...so happy...ARGH MY HART!! them being happy is all I ever wanted AND THE DETAIL ON THEIR CLOTHES WHAT THE FRICK!!! i love the textures...grh she's so pretty in your artstyle they way you draw their lashes also tug my heartstrings

and last but not least...ME!! AWWWW all the pompompurin party hats and plushie...ON GAWD I NEED THAT POMPOMPURIN PILLOW TAPPY OR S333R YOU THOUGHT OF EVERTYHING AKSJDH

thank you again...i saw this around 12am ish and i sobbed into the blanket and now im sobbing again in the morning haha <3 I love you all

[hwanwooyoung]

the never-ending fairy saga [14/?] ↪ jiho + ‘broken heart’

[dunkelrotzuschwarz]

your honor i love them

[ominousblob]

//I love you so much it hurts me, maybe that's my problem.

[tetzoro]

omg hiii hi hi ! good morning & happy wednesday friendz !!!! today is a brand new day so let’s try to have a magnificent one ! i hope you find somethin to make ya smile today teehee & remember that you deserve to get the yummiest treat today ( ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩) ! ! 🤍💫

[randomfingthings]

✨ happy birfday to the old man, the myth, the legend, the crimes king fernando nando alonso ✨

[itshomobirb]

2 memories i feel like sharing, & some backstory context: so my ass has been spayed, and healthy people take 6-8 weeks to fully recover from getting spayed. i, chronically ill, took longer. as with any abdominal surgery, they told me "no lifting over 10lb u could tear ur stitches." and for reference, my cats are 12 lb wonders.

so im chilling in bed. ~4 weeks after surgery. and my mother starts SCREAMING my name. like "OH MY GOD BORB COME IN HERE NOW QUICK QUICK HURRY OH GOD." so i do, albeit slowly because, you know, still recovering from major surgery. she's freaking out about one of my cats, who looks entirely normal. oh but he ~suddenly stopped~ and ~twisted his body~ i don't know if he's going to be ok. one mother panic attack and one emergency vet visit later (with my mother's help bc i couldn't lift my cat due to lifting restrictions) : he had flea dirt on his hind legs. he was twisting around to lick around his arse. cool 👍 (ofc my mother, on the ride back from the vet, tried to tell me NOT to give the kids flea meds, she doesn't know what kind of ~health ramifications~ flea meds can have if *gasp* the kids don't actually have fleas)

around the same time period, i get woken up by my mother screaming "HELP HELP HELP!!" the first day it happens, she stops within ~15 seconds, and i hear my parents talking before i fall back asleep. find out later the mechanism for moving the window panels up & down in the bathroom broke, so the top panel had trapped her fingers a la guillotine style. my parents joke "well borb if you hear your mother screaming... her fingers are probably trapped 😂." can you guess what happens next. my father was gone the next day, and guess who got her fingers trapped AGAIN by the bathroom window. so i get woken up by her screaming, and i have to help dislodge the window around her bare naked ass. and sure, i have sympathy because i bet it was really painful. but like. are you fucking stupid. my father had to literally childproof the window by installing a screw so the guillotine panel would catch against the other panel so fingers wouldn't get trapped. just so my mother wouldn't get her fingers trapped again. we all knew that if it wasn't there, she would 1000% get her fingers trapped again. but *im* supposedly the incompetent fuck up that NEEDS to be told exactly what to do just in case i, idk, have an independent thought.

[ye-olde-trojan-horse]

question for any mcdonald’s employees. when someone orders 24 nuggets, do you individually count each one?

or is it, “this feels like 24 nuggets.”

[tired-biscuit]

commission done by @vita-divata !! thanks a bunch!!

[malikselfindulgence]

UHHHH [dropsthis and scurries away]

[sillyfeelings]

I wanna have a camping date with them because I love the woods and I just want to be alone with them, I want to go on nature trails and cuddle up near the fire and stare at the stars and snuggle together into one sleeping bag for warmth