#okay. so i know day three was like. 19 days ago. but i had no ideas for day 4 AND i was busy

[megalony]

Cause Of Malpractice

Thank you all for the lovely feedback on my first Doctor! Eddie Diaz imagine. This is another Doctor! Eddie idea I had an idea for which I hope you will all like.

Let me know what you think.

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@ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @itshamleth @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Summary: Eddie goes down to the hospital on his day off to be with (Y/n) when she has a routine surgery. But when she becomes ill afterwards, Eddie takes over her care and goes on the warpath.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are we staying for dinner?"

Eddie twisted his head to the right and gave his son a pointed look with one arched brow. He could see the cheekiness trying to hide behind a plain smile on Chris's face and he knew his son was just dying to make some kind of quick-witted response that might just get him into trouble. But Chris held his tongue and settled for his smile which made his dad purse his lips.

"Your mum's at work, so what do you think?" He could see his response made Chris happy because he started to nod his head to himself.

It was still new to feel those words on his tongue again after years of teaching himself to refrain from talking about Chris's mum. About Shannon. But now the word mum had a different meaning. It meant (Y/n), and Eddie couldn't have been happier when Chris suddenly asked a few weeks ago if it was okay for him to start calling (Y/n) his mum.

It wasn't something Eddie was sure Chris would ever want to do, after everything that had happened with Shannon. But here Chris was, attached to (Y/n)'s hip and overjoyed that Eddie had married her.

Eddie pulled up in the drive and turned off the ignition but when he looked over at Chris, the eleven year old was already throwing off his belt and hurrying out the car.

They were visiting Eddie's Abuela for the afternoon and she had already asked them to stay for dinner. Food was the one thing that always brought their family together, but for all his faults, Eddie was no chef. All the women in his family had tried to teach him how to cook and growing up, he had been the one to bring up his three sisters while their dad worked away. But even that didn't help his cooking skills. Cereal and pasta were the only things Eddie could cook without burning or making it inedible.

Chris had been overjoyed when (Y/n) moved in with them because she was as good at cooking as her brother, Buck. Bobby had been teaching them both and that meant Chris didn't have to try and cook or suffer Eddie's cooking any longer. Either (Y/n) cooked, Buck came over to cook, Eddie got takeout or their Abuela would usually batch cook and send some their way.

"There are my boys!" Abuela was already out on the porch when Eddie climbed down from the jeep and he grinned, but he stayed next to the door when his phone rang in his back pocket.

He knew that ringtone. Jurassic Park. That was Buck calling. For a reason unknown to Eddie, Chris had set Buck's ringtone in Eddie's phone to the theme song for Jurassic Park. And although Eddie wasn't too keen on having personalised ringtones, it was helpful to know who was calling.

"Hey Buck, everything okay?"

It wasn't normal for Buck to call when he was on shift, Eddie knew his wife and brother in law were both on shift today until late on tonight so neither of them should be calling him. Just like when Eddie was on shift at the hospital, he didn't get much free time to call his loved ones. Unless he was forewarning them that his shift would be extended or they had an emergency.

"Are you at work?"

"No…"

"Can you meet us there? At the hospital… like now?"

"Why?" That didn't sound good. This was Eddie's first day off in almost a week, he had been hoping to spend the day with Chris and his Abuela and then spend the night and tomorrow with his wife.

"(Y/n) collapsed, Hen thinks it's her appendix. We're on route to the hospital now." Buck didn't know whether to be relieved or not that Eddie wasn't on shift.

If he was, they would have to call dispatch to get them to send a memo over to the hospital to page Eddie and let him know the situation. But with him being off work it meant he could answer his phone, but it also meant he might not be around or be able to get to the hospital quick.

Everything had been going fine until (Y/n) collapsed on scene and began throwing up. She was running a fever, cradling her stomach and going dizzy and now she was crying, begging her brother to call Eddie for her. She wanted her husband, her personal doctor. She wanted Eddie to be here, he always managed to calm her down and if she had to be in hospital she wanted him there with her.

"I'm on my way, I'll meet you there."

"Thank you."

With his phone shoved back in his pocket, Eddie slammed the jeep door shut and bustled over to where Chris and his Abuela were stood patiently waiting on the doorstep.

"Everything okay, carino?" Her hand stretched out to cup Eddie's cheek while her lips formed a concerned smile and her head tilted to one side.

"Can you watch him for the afternoon?" Eddie kept his voice low but he knew Chris had heard him all the same and the concern only doubled in his Abuela's eyes. She thought they were both staying all afternoon so they could spend some time together and she could cook for them. Not that she wouldn't be happy to look after Chris, but she wanted to see Eddie too.

"Dad, you said you're not on call this week." Chris reached out to grab Eddie's hand and started swinging it back and forth as he whined. His dad promised he wasn't on call this week and the next three days he was going to be off and able to spend time with his family.

"I'm not, buddy… Buck called, (Y/n)'s going to hospital, she might need surgery I need to go be with her. I'll come back and get him later, or see if Buck can watch him after dinner-"

"Go, we'll be fine." She patted his cheek lightly and gave his shoulder a squeeze before her hands moved to Chris's shoulders.

She would never want Eddie to stay here or have to fret about (Y/n) and be apart from her if she wasn't well. His place was by her side and Chris was more than welcome to stay and keep her company. They played games and cooked together and they would have a grand time while they waited to find out what was going on.

"Will you do mum's surgery?" Chris's head tilted to the right and he looked up at Eddie with a puzzled look and worry pooling in his eyes.

"I don't think I'd be allowed, there are rules for that, but I'll make sure she's being looked after. And I'll call you soon and tell you how she is, but she's gonna be fine. It's not big surgery I promise."

If it really was her appendix, that was minor surgery at best. It wasn't life threatening and (Y/n) would be out the hospital in a few days. Eddie just needed to be there to make sure everything went smoothly and to make sure (Y/n) was alright. God knows she wasn't the best patient in the world and she would panic without Eddie there.

He leaned down and kissed the top of Chris's head, ruffling his hair before he leaned over to kiss his Abuela's cheek.

"You let me know how she is." Her words sounded more like a warning and Eddie nodded before he headed over to the jeep.

He thought when he married Shannon that all his family had liked her, he knew their opinions had changed when she left and he understood that. But he was coming to realise that maybe they hadn't favoured Shannon half as much as Eddie thought now that he was with (Y/n). They cherished (Y/n). All his sisters loved her, his parents welcomed her with open arms just like Chris, and all his aunts and his grandma took to calling her a jewel.

Everyone loved (Y/n) almost as much as they loved Chris, and Eddie couldn't have been happier about that.

It didn't take long to get to the hospital and Eddie was thankful of two things. One, that he had his own parking space so he didn't have to fight for a thin space in the multistory or have to pay extortionate prices for a short stay. And two, that he had his work ID badge in the car.

He kept his ID in the jeep at all times because of the amount of times he left it at home on the dresser in the bedroom or in a pocket in an old pair of trousers.

The badge would let him walk straight through reception and get into the assessment unit without having to wait or ask around for instructions. And the staff all knew him so they wouldn't bat an eyelid at Eddie mulling about the hospital on a mission of his own.

He clipped the badge to his belt, stuffed his keys in his pocket and sped determindedly down the path. Bypassing the main entrance to get down to the emergency room doors. He didn't bother going round to the ambulance entrance, that was another fifteen feet round the side of the building when he could just take the shortcut through the main entrance and let himself into the assessment ward to wait for them and see if they were already here.

His eyes didn't glance around the waiting room to his left and he ignored the two women at the reception desk, both of whom he didn't actually know.

It wasn't hard not to know people when they had hundreds upon hundreds of people working here, and Eddie didn't frequent the ER. He was based up on the second floor either dealing with infection control or in surgery.

"Sir-"

"Doctor Diaz." He muttered without sparing one glance at the receptionist. He flashed his badge at her before using it to open the doors to the assessment ward and he waltzed straight through.

He didn't have to look far before a familiar cry caught his attention and he recognised a tall figure in a black and florescent yellow jacket that read Nash along the bottom.

"Hey! Hey, Bobby." Eddie wasn't as close to the team as he would of liked to be, considering they looked after his wife and brother in law when they were all on shift together. But he knew them from the countless parties the team were always having and a few family dinners they had all frequented.

"Eddie, get in here." The words hit his ears but Bobby's lips didn't move and it took Eddie a lot longer than it should have to realise that it was Buck calling out to him and not Bobby doing some form of ventriliquism.

He felt Bobby's hand briefly on his shoulder, guiding him into the assessment room.

There she was. His wife. Curled up on the assessment bed, knees coiled up to her stomach, arms bound around her waist and Buck desperately trying to keep her from rolling off the bed.

"Diaz, what are you doing here? Isn't it your day off?"

Eddie darted his eyes around the cubicle that was overly cramped, they didn't usually have this many visitors coming in with someone into the ER. But there was Buck, Bobby in the corner, Hen and Chimney stood to the far left and then Eddie's colleague. Doctor Armstrong, trying to lean over (Y/n) but she was wriggling away, hiccupping through her cries.

"This is my wife, I'll assess her." He moved round, circling the end of the bed until he was almost squashing Armstrong in the corner. Giving him the choice of either staying and being in the way or giving in and leaving the room. Eddie might not be on shift today but for now, he was the only one (Y/n) was going to be okay with.

Armstrong nodded, knowing he wasn't going to make much of a difference in here. But when he pointed at the door, Chimney, Hen and Bobby all silently agreed and followed him out. They were going to have to wait out in the hallway so they didn't cramp the room.

"Hey mi amor," Eddie brushed his thumb delicately across her cheek, smiling gently as he leaned over her. "I can't leave you alone for one day, can I?"

(Y/n) tried to crack a smile, but she couldn't find the willpower. Both her wrists were now tangled up in Buck's grip so she would stop squirming and trying to move around. And when she felt Eddie's hands run across her body and try to push her legs down, she began to cry again. Her knees were pressing down on her stomach in an attempt to relieve the pain, straightening out only made her feel worse.

A quiet "Oow," tumbled past her lips as her body began to shake again and she wanted to curl up into the tightest ball to make the pain go away.

"Let's take a look at you."

He could see there was already an oxygen monitor on her index finger and clips attached to her upper chest in case of a cardiac emergency. The heart monitor was already set up too and Eddie hated that his ears zoned in on her heartbeat and he could hear it going haywire in the background.

Swiping the thermometer from the holder, he gently tilted (Y/n)'s chin towards him so he could press it into her ear. Her temperature was at forty degrees, she was burning up.

"Okay, and your blood pressure." He nodded at Buck to let go of her hands and he slid a blood pressure cuff up her arm. "Everything's rising high."

(Y/n) snapped her eyes closed and deadlocked one arm back around her waist while she fumbled to shift onto her right side. She shakily reached her free hand out until she had hold of Eddie's arm. She felt Buck's hand on her shoulder and she shimmied over until she was practically on the edge of the bed, allowing her to bury her face into Eddie's arm.

The small whimper she let out vibrated through his arm into his blood and had Eddie's upper lip curling. He looked down at her again, brushing his finger across her chin when she tugged on his arm.

"Baby?"

"Sick, I- I'm gonna be sick."

Reeling back, Eddie took two steps away and held out a cardboard bucket so (Y/n) could hang her head over the edge and throw up. She began to shiver despite the sweat trickling across her skin but she tried to calm down when she felt Eddie's free hand running through her hair. His fingers tangled in her locks and moved her hair from her face until she finally stopped throwing up. And Buck carefully pulled her back on the bed.

"What's the pain scale, baby? One to ten, where are we at?" Eddie's hands moved to (Y/n)'s shoulders and he carefully rolled her onto her back. He leaned down to peck her temple that felt like kissing an oven with how burning hot she felt against his wet lips.

"Eight." (Y/n) felt like saying ten, but she didn't want to be dramatic. The pain was bad. It was worse than it had been earlier on when she collapsed on shift, it had gotten worse on the journey down to the hospital.

Once she was on her back, Eddie moved her hands down to her sides so he could start pressing his fingertips across her stomach and abdomen.

He bit his lip when (Y/n) cried out, clutching her hands around his arm when he touched the lower right side of her abdomen. He pressed his fingers down on her abdomen again, feeling around even as (Y/n) scratched her nails into his wrist and coiled her legs up.

"Is it her appendix?" Buck scrunched his hands up in the bedsheet and arched over the bed. His lips rolled together as he looked between his sister and his brother in law.

"I think it's burst, appendicitis wouldn't be this painful. Alright, alright baby, let's get you prepped for surgery and find you an OR."

He pressed the call button behind the bed before he creased over and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. This surgery would be simple, it shouldn't take too long and (Y/n) would be fine, Eddie would make sure of it. He would stay with her until she went into the operating room and he wasn't leaving until it was done and he could check her over himself.

His eyes darted down to lock with hers when her nimble, trembling fingers curled around his wrists and she tugged on his hands to get him to lean closer.

Her wet lips smothered the side of his neck and her trembling hands pulled his arms to pin them against her chest. Her shakes vibrated through into Eddie but he didn't seem to mind. He unhooked one hand from her grip so he could cup the back of her neck and pull her closer.

"You're gonna be fine."

***

"Hey, how we doing?" A smile lit up Buck's face and his hands gave Chris's shoulders a loving squeeze as he guided the eleven year old into the hospital room.

He had gone home to get a shower and get changed and then he graciously collected Chris from his Abuela the moment Eddie messaged to say (Y/n) was out of surgery.

Eddie didn't want Chris to be panicking or wondering what was going on and Buck was more than willing to have his nephew for the night so Eddie could stay here with (Y/n). She was going to be in tonight and tomorrow and then she could hopefully be discharged if she was well enough.

"Hi boys," (Y/n) groggily moved her free arm out, a silent invitation for Chris to rush over for a hug.

He was careful not to lean on (Y/n) when he hugged her and his arms looped around her neck so he wasn't squeezing her chest or torso. He wasn't sure what an appendix was or where it was in the body and he didn't want to hurt her by mistake. His curls brushed her cheek and (Y/n) grinned and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

She could feel Eddie squeezing her other hand and he leaned across to press a chaste, wet kiss to her neck. His chair was scraped as close to the bed as possible and when (Y/n) woke up little over half an hour ago from surgery, she had been pleasantly surprised to find their hands entwined.

"Are you okay? Did dad operate on you?" Chris leaned back and plopped himself down on the side of the bed while (Y/n) tried to sit up a bit better.

"I told you, buddy, I can't do surgery on family. Doctor Levison did the op, your mum's gonna be fine but she no longer has an appendix."

"I'm okay baby, I feel much better now." (Y/n) kissed his temple before she looked up at her brother as he slouched down in the free chair on her right side after he gave her arm a light squeeze. Buck could see she still looked groggy from the meds, she was finding it hard to keep her eyes open and she was slouched right back into the pillows. But she looked much better than she had when he brought her in earlier today.

Chris reached over and trailed his fingers across (Y/n)'s left hand that was tangled with Eddie's. They could both see the intrigue in his eyes as he looked at the green plastic cap taped into the back of her hand where her IV had been earlier. And when his fingertips travelled up her arm, he circled the pad of his finger over the bandage wrapped around her arm at the crease of her elbow.

"What's that?"

(Y/n) looked between her elbow and her husband and the dazed look in her eyes made Eddie's heart flip and a fondness grew within his pupils. She wasn't sure what it was. She hadn't long come round and lucid from surgery.

"It's a blood transfusion, see? The appendix burst, your mum needs a bit more blood." Eddie pointed up to the bag behind him that was slowly trickling blood through the tube taped into her elbow.

The operation had gone well but because her appendix had burst, (Y/n) had suffered a bit of internal bleeding. She had been dosed on antibiotics to make sure she didn't get an infection and they set her up on a transfusion once the operation was finished.

(Y/n) let her head sink back into the pillows and snuggled down, pulling the cover a bit higher up when a chill tore through her bones. She looked over at Buck, only now realising that he had brought a bag with him and he fished out one of Chris's drawing books and a pack of pens. They had come prepared so Chris could stay as long as possible with his parents before going home with his uncle.

"So that was a scary way of getting some time off." Buck muttered as he folded his arms over his chest and propped his feet up on the bed. He nudged his foot against his sister's thigh, grinning when she slapped his ankle playfully.

"Yeah, yeah. How long am I off for?" She looked between the boys, grinning to herself when Eddie murmured 'at least two weeks.' In all fairness it had been a while since (Y/n) last had some time off, although she wouldn't be able to take Chris out somewhere fun or do half the things she would want to for the next two weeks.

Her lips curved into a smile when she felt Chris shuffle round and wriggle to get comfy. He propped himself up against the rail at the end of the bed with his legs cuddled up into (Y/n)'s so he could begin to do some drawing.

She let her eyes fall closed and snuggled down, pulling Eddie's hand towards her chest.

"You good, mi amor?"

"Cold," She murmured, already halfway back to sleep but her lips curved up when she felt Eddie's hand against her temple.

"Cold? You're still flushed." Eddie bit the corner of his mouth and swiped his thumb against (Y/n)'s cheek. She was still warm from the fever she had been burning when she arrived at the emergency room. Maybe it was just her body trying to settle and get back to a normal temperature.

Whatever the reason, Eddie pulled the covers a bit higher for her and glided his hand up and down her arm before he leaned back in his chair. His eyes rolled playfully and he grinned when he saw that Buck was already turning on the tv, flicking through the channels.

He didn't want to take Chris home yet, not when they hadn't spent a lot of time with (Y/n). They may as well stay until the end of visiting time, that way when (Y/n) woke up Chris would get to talk to her for a bit and Buck would reassure himself his little sister was alright before he and Chris went home for the night.

(Y/n) didn't doze off for long, about twenty minutes or so before she woke up to Chris sitting a bit closer than before and grinning sweetly at her. And Eddie and Buck were both watching a sitcom on the tv.

She wasn't sure what conversation they were talking about but she groggily looked towards her brother when he gave her elbow a light squeeze.

"Brought you some clothes," Buck murmured and pointed to the bag at his feet before he carried on the conversation he was having with Eddie. He knew his sister, she wouldn't want to stay in that hospital gown for long. Buck knew once (Y/n) woke up properly, the first thing she would do was go get changed into some of her own, more comfortable clothes.

(Y/n) nodded but she coiled her arms up to her chest beneath the covers. Why was the room so cold? She was freezing. Had they turned the heating off in here? She felt like she was in the arctic.

She closed her eyes again for a few moments, but her knees jerked up towards her stomach when her head started to spin and she suddenly felt like she was falling. Going to sleep had made her feel worse, she felt strangely dizzy and like her limbs were going numb.

She stayed tucked up and tried to coil in on herself, but she soon realised she was shaking. With a grumble, (Y/n) opened her eyes and forced her blurred vision to focus on Eddie as she slithered a hand out from beneath the cover to reach for Eddie. Her fingers curled around his thigh and she dug her nails into his trousers to try and grab his attention.

"You okay, baby?" She felt his hand fold on top of her own but when Eddie looked over at her, his smile faded and his brows furrowed.

"Eddie, I- I don't feel well." She managed to slide her fingers into the grooves of Eddie's hand and when she looked up at him, she could see the concern pooling in his eyes.

He pushed up from his chair and moved to perch on the side of the bed, letting their entwined hands rest on his thighs while his other hand cupped the side of her face. His fingers glided over her neck but his frown deepened. He could feel sweat rolling down the side of her neck and covering her temple, but she was shaking and curling up as if she were freezing cold.

Reaching up behind the bed, he grabbed the thermometer and gently placed it in (Y/n)'s ear.

"Chris, off the bed a minute please buddy." He ticked his head at Chris until he hopped off the bed and moved to sit with Buck instead. "You're burning up baby, let me check your stitches."

Eddie pulled down the cover and moved (Y/n)'s gown to one side so he could try and check her stitches, but he couldn't see her getting an infection this quickly. She had been out of surgery for two hours, if that. She couldn't get an infection in her wound that quickly and he had been there when she went for her operation. It went well with no complications, she shouldn't be having any trouble.

"Any pain?" He pressed his fingertips around the stitches and down her abdomen near her bladder and intestines, but (Y/n) didn't flinch like she had earlier. She was on morphine so she couldn't be in much pain and she didn't seem to be bothered by the stitches.

"Freezing, a-and dizzy… baby, help. I don't feel right." (Y/n) wasn't sure what was wrong and she wasn't in any specific pain, but she felt horrid. She felt like all her wires were crossed within her. Her blood was pulsing and throbbing in her ears. Her head was pounding and spinning even though she wasn't even moving. Her limbs were going numb and she was so, so cold.

A deep frown set in Eddie's features while his teeth sank down in his lower lip. He hummed and kissed her cheek to try and calm her down before he grabbed a stethoscope and listened to her chest.

"What's wrong?" Buck kept his right arm tight around Chris's waist, keeping his nephew tucked close while he leaned over towards his sister.

"Amor, I think you're going into shock." Eddie couldn't understand it. She had been fine. The operation had been a success. But she looked like she was going into a state of shock and he couldn't understand why. This couldn't be a delayed reaction because (Y/n) had had morphine before and she wasn't due another drip for another hour or so.

He had never known anyone to have a reaction to their stitches either and he had checked them, her skin wasn't bubbling up or swelling or getting a rash. (Y/n) didn't seem to have a cause for this and all Eddie could think of was she had some sort of infection and if that was the case, he needed bloods from her and some antibiotics.

Eddie let (Y/n) squeeze their entwined hands while she tried to curl around his thighs and get closer to him. He started to rub his left hand up and down her arm, but when he happened to glance to the right, his head tilted at an angle and he narrowed his eyes.

"Baby…" He let go of her hand, cringing at the whine (Y/n) let out as she tried to grab for him again.

His fingers grazed along the transfusion tube until he was lightly holding the plastic bag and he pulled it closer to observe the writing along the blood bag.

All the colour drained from Eddie's face until he was as white as the overcoat he wore when he was on shift. Both lips parted but he couldn't find the will to breathe, his lungs were seizing up in his chest and his heart was spasming and sending out the wrong signals.

His fingers clenched around the blood bag so tightly his nails almost pierced through the plastic and he squinted to make sure he was reading it correctly.

"Fuck! Fuck, oh Dios."

Buck leaned back in his chair as Chris shuddered and pushed into his chest at his dad's sudden outburst. He wasn't usually one for swearing. Chris had heard his Abuela swear more than his dad. Seeing Eddie look so suddenly panicked and his loud, curt voice made Chris shrink back into Buck for comfort.

When Eddie leaned across and flicked the emergency button next to the plug sockets above the bed, panic coursed through Buck's system.

He stood up and carefully eased Chris down onto the chair in his place before he stepped closer to try and see what Eddie was panicking so much about. His eyes followed his brother in law as he started tearing the bandage around the crease of (Y/n)'s left elbow. The bandage trickled to the floor and Eddie quickly capped off the intravenous needle and removed the tube from her arm.

"What's happening?" Buck reached down to squeeze (Y/n)'s arm while she tried to bring her knees up towards her stomach, but both her hands were reaching out for Eddie.

She clutched at his forearm, desperately pulling Eddie closer because she didn't know what was going on and she didn't understand why she was suddenly feeling so unwell and strange. Tears began to stream down her face causing her lower lip to wobble while shakes continued to tear through her body in waves.

"She's having a hemolytic reaction. Shit, I need O negative-"

"English Eddie!"

"Some fucker's put her on A positive blood transfusion, her blood type is O negative, she's having a reaction. Her immune system's fighting the transfusion."

Eddie tangled his free hand in his hair, pulling at the locks until he could feel strands getting stuck between his fingers and ripping apart from his scalp. His other hand was pressing into (Y/n)'s chest since she had confiscated his arm and he didn't have the will power to pull apart from her just yet.

This couldn't be happening.

How could someone have made such a stupid mistake- and with (Y/n) of all people?

Someone had started her on the wrong blood type. The body was a clever, sensitive thing and it could recognise foreign cells immediately. (Y/n)'s body was fighting itself, trying to attack the foreign blood cells and it was sending her into shock.

Eddie needed to reverse the effects and get (Y/n)'s body syncronised again before her organs started shutting down or she developed sepsis.

His head snapped down when he felt (Y/n) weakly pulling on his arm and he stopped tearing his hair out so he could glide his hand across her cheek and down her jaw.

"W-what's wrong?" (Y/n)'s voice trembled almost as bad as her body that was shaking back and forth on the bed. She brought her knees up to her stomach, unable to muffle her groan but she managed to keep her eyes on her husband. She couldn't concentrate properly. She didn't understand what was happening. What was wrong with her?

The feeling of Eddie's thumb gliding along her jaw made (Y/n)'s heart slow down its accelerated rhythm for a few seconds. "You're going into shock, mi amor, but I'm gonna take care of you. It's okay."

Buck reached his hand behind him and held onto Chris's arm when the eleven year old got off the chair to stand right by his side. He didn't want to look around his uncle and see the state his mum was getting into, but he couldn't help but sneak a glance. The sight of his mum shaking, gasping and crying like that sent his blood curdling and made him cling to Buck tighter.

The three of them snapped their heads to the side when the door opened and a young nurse walked in, darting her eyes around the room. Eddie could see the recognition in her eyes, she knew he worked here, but his plain attire was confusing her.

"What's going on?"

"Go get me a saline bag and some ACE inhibitors and I need two pints of O negative blood. You hear me, negative. Now."

The nurse dithered in the doorway, tempted to rush further into the room and assess (Y/n) herself. But she could see Eddie had already done that job for her and if she wasted any time trying to do a double check, she feared Eddie might just explode.

The young girl spun on her heels and disappeared out the room, letting the door slam closed behind her.

"Eddie, I don't understand, how the Hell is she on the wrong transfusion? Doesn't everything have to be screened and she needs to be tested before she's given anything?"

Buck had never needed a transfusion himself, but he donated blood every month along with the rest of the team. He knew it was closely screened, checked for any anomalies or illnesses or viruses and always labelled correctly with the right blood type.

And he understood that it had to be quite hard to give someone the wrong transfusion when it was either already in their files or they would have a blood sample taken and checked so they knew what type to give.

"I don't know, she was hooked up before they let me see her." The words seethed past Eddie's lips as he slumped down onto the side of the bed to be closer to (Y/n).

He had waited a little impatiently for them to transfer (Y/n) into a room on a recovery ward and he shot into the room the moment they allowed him in. (Y/n) had just finished a saline drip and she had been hooked onto the blood just before Eddie got into the room. He didn't know which doctor or nurse did it or if he knew them or not.

But he was going to find out and make sure they suffered the consequences of their actions.

"So what do you do, to treat this?"

Eddie raked his free hand down his face, pulling at his chin and jaw that cracked into place. He hadn't dealt with this before, he had never seen this happen because it was such an oddity. This was something that happened one hundred years ago before they had proper screening for blood transfusions. Before they had computer systems and proper filing and records that easily counted the blood types of patients.

This was something that wasn't seen nowadays, not in good hospitals with a good practice.

"She needs fluids to fight off the shock and the inhibitors will stop her kidneys from shutting down. And I'll have to get her on broad antibiotics to calm her immune system down. I can't have her getting sepsis from this."

Eddie didn't know how far the wrong blood had travelled in (Y/n)'s system. If it was already at her kidneys they would be at risk of shutting down if her immune system attacked them. Her liver could be next. He had to give her meds to preserve her organs from shutting down and antibiotics to stop her raging immune system.

If she developed sepsis, which was the body's way of overreacting to an infection and attacking healthy cells, (Y/n) would really be at risk of fatal damage.

"Can you take Chris home-"

"No! I wanna stay with mum!"

"Then you need to wait outside while I look after her." Eddie's voice was firm and snappy but Chris and Buck obliged instantly.

Buck's hands moved to Chris's shoulders and he regrettably ushered his nephew outside. It wouldn't be fair to leave Chris out in the corridor on his own and it didn't matter how much Buck wanted to stay and watch over his sister, he needed to be with Chris more. He knew (Y/n) was being looked after by Eddie rather than the seemingly negligent staff working here.

"I brought the medicine trolley," The nurse rushed back into the room with her eyes focused on the trolley rather than the doctor that was making her nervous.

She stepped back, letting Eddie take over and rummage around for what he needed. He got the inhibitors and injected them straight into the saline bag before he reached for a fresh packaged needle.

He crouched down in front of the trolley, using the ID badge he still had clipped to his belt to unlock the trolley and look through for the broad range antibiotics he needed. He tore into the packaged needle with his teeth, got the needle ready and injected those into the fluids too. It would be dangerous to give (Y/n) a large dose all at once, and the fluids would be running wide open into her vein so this was the safest method of administration.

"Okay mi amor, let's get you on these." He perched himself down on the side of the bed and hooked the fluid bag on the IV pole, turning up the setting so it was on its quickest speed. He wanted the fluids in (Y/n)'s system as fast as possible to counteract the shock and blood reactions.

His nimble fingers were gentle when he reached out for (Y/n)'s hand and laid it over his thigh. He twisted the cap already taped into her hand and connected the fluids. Once the machine beeped, he twisted to look over his shoulder.

"Did you get the O negative?"

"I got two." It felt better to be safe than sorry and she knew (Y/n)'s notes since she was the newest patient on this ward. She knew (Y/n) was recovering from surgery and if she needed more blood, two pints might be necessary.

"Thank you."

Eddie kept the A positive blood hanging at the back of the pole, he was keeping that there for evidence. And he hung up one of the new bags, filled with the correct match that was riling him up to just look at it. How could someone have messed up this badly?

(Y/n) scraped her nails into Eddie's thighs when he got up, mewling his name quietly as she feared he was about to leave the room. Her vision blurred but she did her best to lift her head and follow him with her eyes.

He grabbed a needle from the trolley and an empty vile and once he swiped the pen from his back pocket, he set about writing (Y/n)'s name and date of birth onto the plain label.

A shudder crawled over (Y/n) when she realised what Eddie was going to do and she snapped her eyes closed but obliged and held her arm out to him. She was surprised to find she barely felt the needle slipping into her elbow for Eddie to take a blood sample. Once it was done, he kissed the crease of her arm and handed the vile over to the nurse.

"That needs to be rushed down to the lab, I want it in writing that she's suffered a hemolytic reaction."

The poor nurse seemed to shake and drain of all colour on the spot when she realised what was going on. She could see that Eddie was on the war path and he was going to be chopping heads for this mistake. Eddie could switch the blood bag and counter the reaction, but before he did that he had to get (Y/n)'s sample sent to the labs. He needed it in black and white that someone had given her the wrong blood type. And he was keeping the old blood bag as evidence too.

"Go get whoever's in charge of this ward please on your way to the lab. I want to know who's the cause of this malpractice."

Once the nurse was out the room, Eddie twisted to look down at (Y/n) after he connected the new blood tube to the intravenous needle in her left elbow. This would do her some good. Her immune system would calm down once it realised it was now getting a supply of the correct blood type.

"You'll be okay now, mi amor. I'm gonna oversee your treatment."

When (Y/n) scratched her hands against Eddie's shoulders, his lips formed a soft smile and he obliged. He leaned down, curving his arms around her waist so he could carefully ease her into a sitting position. Her face tucked into his neck and her hands shook and slithered across his back while she pushed herself into his chest.

They sat there like that for a while and a few times, Eddie wasn't sure whether (Y/n) had fallen asleep or not. But he felt her fingers digging into his back or her lips moving against his neck and he knew she was awake.

"You're not shaking as much," He commented after a while, feeling (Y/n) cling to him with a bit more strength and power.

His lips smothered the side of her temple and he sighed against her skin, thankful he had caught this quick enough to do something about it. God knows what would have happened if he and Buck hadn't of been in the room. What if Eddie had taken Chris home and Buck had gone home too for a rest? What would they have done? How long would (Y/n) have waited, quickly going into shock, waiting for the next staff member to do their irregular checks?

"Okay, why have I been summoned in here? What's going on?" Nurse Avery stood a few feet inside the room, both hands clamped down on her hips with her head tilted at an angle.

She raised a brow when she looked over at Eddie. She had seen on the computer system that there was a patient named Diaz on this ward so it wasn't surprising to see their prominent Doctor Diaz in here too. It was a rare surname so chances were this was a relative of Eddie's.

But she still had no reason why she had been told to come down here for some kind of emergency when the emergency light above the door wasn't turned on. Or at least, it hadn't been on for a while.

Eddie leaned his head down to kiss (Y/n)'s cheek before he slowly unravelled from her, making sure she was okay sinking back into the pillows when he got up from the bed.

He folded his arms over his chest, trying to stop his expression from looking so gaunt and angry but he couldn't seem to help it. He stepped to the side, moving to the other side of the room so he didn't have to raise his voice so close to (Y/n). He didn't want to upset her any further but he needed to talk to Avery and he knew she wasn't going to like what he had to say.

"Someone didn't read my wife's chart so I need you to look through your roster and find out who set up her blood transfusion."

"What are you talking about? What's happened?"

"Look at the chart. (Y/n) is O negative, but when I came in I found her on a transfusion for A positive. I've had to stop it, take bloods, get her on fluids and inhibitors and antibiotics because she was going into fucking shock. I wanna know who set up the bloods."

The darker side of Eddie revelled in the way Avery couldn't keep eye contact with him and how she ran her hand across her cheek and down the side of her neck out of nervousness.

She should be nervous. She should be panicking. She was the shift lead, the head nurse on this ward and someone under her watch had made a near fatal mistake that had been caught by one of their off-duty doctors. Eddie himself had to rectify this mistake. Avery couldn't dumb this down or try and cover it up and pretend only a minor incident had occurred here.

Eddie had witnessed it himself, and he wasn't going to be calmed down so easily.

"Diaz, calm down. We're all professionals here-"

"Really? You really think someone on your team is a professional when they've just dosed my wife on the wrong type of blood and given her a hemolytic reaction? Do you know how rare that is nowadays? Do you see how fucking stupid you'd have to be to do that?"

Out the corner of his eye, Eddie could see (Y/n) wincing and shrinking back in the bed. She didn't want to be the cause of an argument or cause any rifts in Eddie's workplace. Chances are that he might know whoever had made this mistake and that meant waves would ripple across the staff board.

"And you work here! You know what it's like, we've had five different patients in and out of here all morning and I'm three nurses short. The board will investigate-"

"Damn right they will because someone under your watch put a patient into shock and could have killed her. Whoever it is doesn't have a job here anymore if they can make such a simple fucking mistake."

Eddie believed that nobody was perfect. He completely understood that mistakes happen and as humans, they were bound to make mistakes. And he knew the training and the years it took to become a nurse, let alone a doctor like he was. But he also knew that the years of training they were all put through was supposed to stop them from making mistakes like this.

Sometimes a big mistake was understandable, the pressure, the confusion, the hard surgeries and long hours and underpaid budgets.

But to make such a simple mistake was unforgiveable because if someone could make such a small mistake as not reading someone's notes and hooking them up to any blood bag they found, then what was to say they wouldn't make bigger mistakes?

Such a simple mistake could have killed (Y/n). Her body understood that it had the wrong blood, it was attacking those foreign cells and in turn started to attack the rest of her immune system. If it went unnoticed or they didn't stop the transfusion in time, (Y/n)'s organs could have started to shut down. She could have gone into a worser state of shock.

She could have developed sepsis and her state was already weakened by surgery. If the sepsis attacked the tissues around her stitches or got to her heart they might not have been able to reverse the damage.

"I'll go check the roster and talk to my staff. I suppose you've already taken blood samples and switched the bloods?"

"Damn right."

With a curt nod and her teeth sinking into her lower lip, Avery stuffed her hand into her pocket and stormed out of the room. She was going to get into trouble for this. Her team was going to suffer. Whoever was at fault was going to get sacked. Eddie was likely to make a complaint because he was the one who had noticed and taken charge of the situation and had to sort it himself.

There were going to be repercussions for this.

Eddie ran his hand across the back of his neck and trailed back over to the bed, moving his hand to squeeze (Y/n)'s thigh as he sat down beside her. A wave of calm washed over him as soon as (Y/n) slumped forward and leaned into his chest. Her cheek pressed against his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his torso and her big doe eyes stared up at him with a sense of wonder he hadn't seen before.

"Are you sure your a doctor? You sounded more like a lawyer to me."

[i-heart-hxh]

So, a few days ago I found this post on Reddit from 2 years ago (that sadly barely got any attention at the time) that sheds a ton of light on the separation scene between Gon and Killua, and my mind is blown! I've known for years that there was some sort of Togashi "coding" in the dialogue and it was always like I could get halfway to understanding, but this post gives the rest of the puzzle pieces that I was missing, and ties into other scenes that I was uncertain about the meaning of as well. It's heartbreaking, but also hopeful for their future! I had to share it with you all. Please read it!

The original Reddit post has been deleted, but here is a link to the author's Reddit profile. (I received permission from the original author to post this here.)

In-Depth analysis on the Hidden Reasons behind Gon & Killua's separation scene (ep 147) Why Gon is 'Number 2'

The translations across the separation scene in both manga (chp 338) and the anime (ep 147, 2011) have some shortfalls. These dialogues are vital for understanding even the first layer of reasons behind this separation.

REASONS FOR KILLUA'S DELICATELY PLANNED SEPARATION 

1. WHEN -

There are very important reasons why Killua picked a specific timing to tell Gon about Alluka. It was Killua's plan all along, to only tell Gon at a moment's notice, to make sure Gon won’t get time to ask any DETAILS. He is deliberately downplaying the seriousness of everything he’s been through to heal Gon, so it will have less impact on Gon, and at the same time, avoid Gon asking details. Prior to healing Gon, Killua specifically asked Morel and Leorio to promise not to tell Gon that he saved him. After Gon was healed, there was a scene in the anime (ep 148) which showed the three spent a night together before reaching the World Tree. During that time, Killua still haven't said anything. It wasn't until the moment when they were literally saying the last goodbye, Killua casually brought up:

“Oh, by the way, this guy healed you."

I want to emphasis the word Killua used to address Alluka was “こいつ”. This is a very light and overly casual word used to address someone you know, and usually a playful guy friend (e.g. “This guy used to be my neighbour.” type of feeling). The manga and anime translation, “She’s the one that healed you,” did not clearly depict the intentional casualness.

2. WHAT was SAID -

If Killua just doesn’t want to burden Gon with guilt and responsibility, then why not just keep his mouth shut and say nothing? That’s because Killua found a better option than not telling Gon anything. Killua shifted the “priority of reasons” a bit, so the VERSION OF EVENTS he told Gon, was PRIORITIZED on Alluka’s rescue rather than healing Gon. This way, they will also get to THANK Gon, and put an emphasis on thanking Gon because Killua make it SEEMED like it was more important to rescue Alluka, that the INITIAL REASON for Killua to go home, was to rescue Alluka. Only AFTER Alluka was freed, they came to the hospital to heal Gon, out of convenience, since only Alluka has the ability to do so, and since she’s now outside. The MAIN motive for these past events has been delicately swapped around by Killua, so the focus switched to the rescue of Alluka, rather than healing Gon. Hence Alluka is “No. 1”, Gon is “No. 2”. Downplaying it so healing Gon was just a bonus convenience (ep 147, 19:12 to 19:51).

Killua then goes on another level to make this version of events seem even more realistic, by saying “….You owe me a lot now,” in a teasing and playful tone of voice. This is to again, downplay the seriousness of everything he’s been through, to comfort Gon that "Yes you owe me one now, but don’t you worry! I will make sure you pay it back okay?! Hehe!”

3. WHY -

The fight with Pitou allowed Killua to witness Gon's ultimately immature mind set when it comes to “repaying someone, and redeeming himself.” Kite lost an arm and his life to protect him. So Gon gave his life and was even more happy when Pitou took his arm too. Gon will always want to “match” what was sacrificed by another, by throwing away AT LEAST the same. Not “sacrificing”, but THROWING AWAY. It’s so immature, so dangerous, no one will be able to keep up with him. Killua was very confident with how much he could take, but even Killua himself is at limit. This ultimate baka!! (ep 136, 17:50 - 20:17)

If this is how far Gon will go for Kite, he can only imagine what Gon would go recklessly into if he knew the DETAILS. This is when Killua decided on a way to part with Gon the way they did, and to PROVIDE him a particular REASON.

“I’m prepared to spent the rest of my life protecting her.” 

This is the reason Killua wants Gon to know, but NOT what he actually wants to do with his life. Although it’s true he feels responsible and genuinely wish to protect Alluka and Nanika, but it’s not what he ultimately WANTS to do. He NEEDS to protect Alluka, but he WANTS to spent his entire life by the side of a certain baka…

After the previous events, Killua was traumatized, especially when he saw Gon's twisted decaying arm. That was a breaking point for him, after that, the only thing that matters THE MOST for him is for Gon to be safe. He also realized that in order to protect this baka... it’s better if he keeps a distance for now, until he finds a solution to keep Alluka safe from Illumi and his family.

4. THE PARTING -

By planning this parting with Gon, Killua hopes Gon will become detached from him. And that time and distance will slowly render him less important to Gon. So if he was to die... (because Illumi is hunting them down) he did for Alluka, he did it for the vow to protect Alluka, not Gon. We knew Killua always plans ahead, and here, he plants this reason for Gon in the future so he won’t need to feel responsible if he was to die protecting Alluka (or die with Alluka while Illumi is hunting them). This is what’s going through Killua’s head:

“If I die, you’re not responsible for anything. You don’t owe me anything, so NEVER throw your life away again. My only one wish, is for you to be safe. So here I am. I’m parting ways with you... Because I SAID you are only ... No. 2 ... I SAID you are not the most important to me.. So don’t think of me as the most important to you too….”

This, is Killua’s eternal Devotion. 

5. THE RESULT -

As a result of this deliberate planning by Killua,

Gon was made to believe:

While I was recovering in hospital Killua had to go home and rescue his sister 

Alluka is such a cute sister and she can grant Killua any wish?!!! Wow…that’s one cool sister…

Well… no wonder Killua thinks his cool sister is more important than me, it’s only natural. 

Looks like Killua finally found what he wants to do. He will enjoy traveling the world with such a cool sister, it will be so much fun. I should be happy for him, I can’t hold him here... I have to let him go…

VS

The DETAILS omitted:

Gon was not recovering at all in the hospital. Killua RESORTED to USE Alluka in order to heal Gon. 

Alluka’s blood stained dark past and the risks and uncertainty that still involves.

Baka Gon is always No. 1 !

Killua and Alluka are desperately trying to find a way to out of Illumi’s grasp. Illumi is hunting them down and trying to make Killua his puppet again. And this time it's not going to be just a needle in the head... Killua can feel it. And if things doesn’t work out, he will just kill Alluka.

These Reasons are the core of the separation. We have a song named “Reason”… aren’t the lyrics shedding a new layer of light now?

6. IMPORTANT WORDS ALLUKA USED TO FACILITATE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP AFTER REUNION -

Killua promised to “always be together” with Alluka.

But to this promise, Alluka’s response was always silent (episode 145, 3:32 to 4:19). She looked at Killua with deep thought. Because even in such a short amount of time, she realized Killua is doing all this to ALSO or MORE SO protect Gon. It was never just for her, it will never be just for her, and there will never be anyone more important than Gon for Killua. She’s moved by Killua’s devotion and resolve, and she can also feel his sadness…   

If, the situation was different, if Gon was never there to begin with, and Killua just happened to solely come to Alluka’s rescue, and then make a promise to stay together with her forever, Alluka’s natural reaction will be melting with happiness, she’d be crying tears of joy, and hugging Killua. But in this instance, she was composed, she sensed her brother’s deep seriousness and sadness. That’s why later on, she reassured the two at parting, that they will see each other again, without disclosing Killua’s true REASONS. 

The Exacted words Alluka used (Manga chpt 338, 2011 anime epi 147)

a. Manga translation: “I’m going to HUG my brother for a while and then I will LET HIM GO.”  

b. Better translation: “I’m going to have my brother all to myself for a while and then I will let him free.”                            

c. The exacted phrase: “I’m going to Monopolise my brother Exclusively for a period of time, then I will Release him.”

独り占 (Monopolise Exclusively) 

Very strong characters with Explicit meaning. Have it all to oneself. Same characters and meaning used in Chinese as well. （独占）

解放 (Release) 

This is much more formal and serious than “let go”. It implies the subject was initially bound/locked/restricted. Also the same characters and meaning used in Chinese.

Alluka employed these words to imply a forceful lead in this “deal” of owning Killua exclusively. These words have an underlying tone of enslavement. 

Why? Because Alluka knows, the harder she IMPOSES herself on Killua during their time together, the more effective it would be on the easing of Killua’s own guilt. 

Killua felt immensely guilty.

No one will enjoy a relationship bound by guilt. 

Alluka knows clearly that part of her brother’s promise, was formed with guilt, from using her and Nanika, that he was having fun with Gon while Alluka was literally forgotten. Although it's true that this was largely due to Illumi's manipulation, but the fact that he did just left her in the basement all this time was both unacceptable and unforgivable to Killua himself (episode 138, 13:28).

Therefore apart from protecting Gon, this was the other important reason for this separation. Almost as if Killua has accepted this as a befitting price to pay in order to redeem himself as a brother.

Alluka and Nanika have no condition nor demand in return for Killua’s requests. But Killua imposed a price on himself for having Gon healed. Out of guilt. Alluka knows, Nanika knows. That’s why Alluka used the word 解放 (release), because it will make Killua feel better, that he has complied with her ‘enslavement’, so when the time comes, Killua will be able to release HIMSELF from guilt, and go back to Gon, properly. Alluka loves her brother, and she’s prepared to help him towards a better relationship with Gon in the future, by helping him to eliminating this chain of guilt.

lol Alluka totally ships Gon and Killua ! XD

Thank you for reading.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Daddy’s Home (Dom!Gojo x Sub!Black!Fem!Reader 18+ One Shot)

“Daddy’s home, baby. Now take your fucking clothes off.”

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Black!Fem!Reader

Synopsis: It’s been 3 years. You believe your fiancé is dead. You’ve been attempting to move forward in your life without him there beside you. You try to grieve properly in order to move on….until he comes home. And he’s more than ready to make up lost time.

Warnings: MANGA SPOILERS; Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GTFO); Grief; Mentions of Depression, Death & Suicide; Alcohol/Drug Use; Feral!Gojo; Rough Sex; Ripping Clothes; Dirty Talk; Cunnilingus; Forced Deepthroating; Face-Fucking; Multiple Positions; Gojo Giving You Deep Dick; Breeding Kink; Unprotected PIV Sex; Creampie; Cum Eating; Ownership; Gojo Makes You a Mommy; Aftercare; Degradation; Petnames: Baby; Little Girl; Mama; Sweetheart

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

*IMPORTANT NOTE: In the manga, Gojo is only sealed for 19 days, but in the time of the rest of the manga being written and illustrated, it was 3 years. So the timeline of his being sealed and freed will be 3 years.

Writer’s Note: I’m coping. AND celebrating my man's birthday!! The happiest birthday (and week and month) to my favorite boi! 💙💙💙 -Jazz

********

You’ve never felt such pain before.

It isn't pain that can simply be fixed with a band-aid or a kiss, like a scrape or a cut. It is a deep, cavernous, emotional pain that you have never experienced before...not before losing your fiance. The man you adored and cherished. Your best friend. Your soulmate. Your sunshine peeking through the dark, gray clouds.

But since losing him, all your days are washed with gray. You can't stand any sunny days now, knowing that he loved them and would want to do something–anything–to seize them. "C'mon, baby, let's go get some ice cream!" he'd cheerfully shout. Or "let's go biking" or "wanna take a walk in the park with me?"

Now, all you do is lay in bed and watch the days go by, the pain you feel too much. You've never experienced something so profound and intense. It causes you to cry every single morning into the night until the pink of dawn comes again.

It's been like this for three years now since you lost him forever. It still feels weird to say that: forever. You thought you'd have forever with him, but it was ripped away from you all that time ago during the Shibuya incident. It was a bloody war, from what you've heard; a massacre. So many innocent people perished.

The lives that were spared were among the other Sorcerers and his students, including Nobara who managed to survive Mahito's attack . You visited her all that time she spent in the hospital after the attack as the doctors worked to save her eye. In the end, she lost it, but gained a false one just last year that looks exactly like her real one.

Nanami also survived. It was a close call, apparently. Yuji had found him and attacked Mahito before Nanami could face his violent death. Half of his face and body are completely scalped, but he doesn't try to cover them. They are his battle scars; a reminder of what he is fighting for. He still resides in Japan though you've all been telling him to retire and go to Malaysia. "Not until he's back," he'd fiercely say. "I'm not resting until he's out of that damn box."

He checks on you as do Yuji, Megumi, and Nobara, to ensure you're okay. Shoko spent the night with you a few times until you firmly told her to stop. "I'm not gonna slit my wrists or anything," you scoffed. Shoko pursed her lips at you as she smoked her cigarette on your balcony. "No, but you might drink yourself to death first," she mumbled.

And yes, you have been drinking. You've also been smoking. Weed and alcohol are all that cure the pain, at least for a little while. You don't have to see his dazzling smile or snow-white hair behind your eyelids when you fall asleep high as a kite. It's unhealthy and you know that, but what else can you do?

You have nothing to live for anymore. Your fiance is gone. You try to tell the others this, who have worked tirelessly all this time to find a way to bail him out. 'It's been three years!' you think. 'If they haven't found a way yet, they never will. He is never getting out of that box or the Prison Realm.' And that is the sad, horrible truth.

You curl yourself into a ball now, wrapped in one of his crisp button-up shirts, naked underneath. It is twelve in the afternoon. You haven't eaten or gotten dressed, only showered and brushed your teeth (after Shoko sent you a text to do so). Tears stain your eyes which still sting from your sob session the night before. "Satoru," you whimper into the pillows. "Come back to me, please."

You know this isn't possible, but you wish to God or whoever makes miracles happen that it was. How can you live in a world, in a realm, where your love isn't here? You were going to get married, in spring of 2024. He had promised you after a wonderful night of dinner, champagne, and dancing on a private yacht he ordered just for you two.

When he got down on those long legs, one knee propped up, and presented you with that box, you could feel yourself melt. "After all of this is over," he promised, "after I make this world safer for you, let's do it, baby. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you." He gave you that big, gigawatt, hopeful smile as you felt tears pour down your cheeks, ruining your makeup. "You up for seein' this face forever?" he joked.

That night, you answered him. Over and over again, making love until morning. Until you were both spent and ached so good from twisting your bodies in a hundred different positions. Until your thighs were soaked with his cum and all you could see, hear, and smell was him.

You were more than prepared to spend the rest of your life like that with him...and now, that's all gone. A fresh wave of grief overcomes you and you grip the pillow, stuffing your face into it. Once again, you say the same words you've been saying for three years like a prayer: "Satoru, come back to me. Please."

BANG!

The sound is so loud and abrupt that it scares you. You sit up immediately, your heart lurching into your throat. You look around the room only to find it empty, but then hear the familiar sound of the front door closing from downstairs. Someone is here. But who?

"H-Hello?" you call. "Shoko, is that you?"

No answer. It is completely silent all except for the birds chirping outside your window which only adds to the ominous feeling of the situation at hand. You never gave Shoko a spare key to your home and you're the only one who can get in and out. So who the fuck is in your house?

You then hear the familiar sound of footsteps coming up the stairs, one by one, as if the stranger is taking his sweet time doing so. You instantly reach for your phone to dial 911 and retreat to the bathroom across the room, but stop when a shadow crosses the bedroom wall, and then a figure appears in the threshold of the bedroom you used to share with your fiance.

You stare at the figure hard as if it's difficult for you to decipher it, but it's impossible not to know who it is. You can tell from how tall he is as he stands there, towering over you in the doorway. You can tell from his lean body sinewy with muscles under his black clothes. You can tell from his pale skin, snow-white hair you used to love to run your fingers through, and iced, blue eyes that stare right through you.

That same lovely, adorable, sexy, dazzling grin crosses his pillowy-soft, pink lips as he stares at you from across the room. “Honey, I’m home," Gojo chirps as if he just walked in from a hard day at work.

You stare him down, afraid to move or speak in fear of ruining this or exposing it for what it is: a trick. A mirage. A hallucination caused by too much alcohol or weed (unlikely, but still). Is this a dream? Are you dead? Did you go ahead and drink yourself to death like Shoko foresaw?

He walks toward you, slowly as if to not frighten you further. You stay on the bed, afraid to move. You're trembling. He finally stops just at arm's length from you, that same smile and warm gaze still on his face. “T-Tarou?” you whisper, finding your voice.

“In the flesh," he replies in that easy, sexy drawl that you've always loved. So careless. So laidback. His expression grows concerned, his brows drawn together. “How ya doin’, baby?” he asks. Your heart flips at the sound of that pet name. You haven't heard it in so, so long.

You scamper towards him, wanting to get closer to him, but then stop, afraid to. He doesn't react to either, still standing there and waiting for you to process this. “No,” you whisper. “This isn’t real. I’m just high as fuck right now.” You put your hands in your hair, gripping the dark coils/braids/locs/curls/twists harshly.

You know that this isn't possible. You haven't touched any weed since yesterday morning, wanting to give yourself a break. Gojo whistles as he nods at the bong sitting on your bedside table. “Well, judging from that, probably so. You got any left? I could use it after the 3 years I’ve had.”

You don't answer. You barely even breathe, afraid to do so in fear of putting a tear in the fabric of this moment and ripping it apart. You still can't tell if this is really happening. Is it a trick of your cursed grief making you see shit? Could it be that a Curse is here and has somehow taken over Gojo's body, and now, they're here to kill you? You would rather take that than this uncertainty.

Gojo suddenly raises his hand toward you as if to touch you, but doesn't. “Touch me," he encourages. Though hesitant, you lift a tentative hand and stroke your fingers over his veiny arm. All you feel is solid, soft, warm skin. Gojo's smile gets bigger. “See? I’m real. It’s really me, baby.”

And suddenly, the fog over your mind has been cleared and you can see clearly. All is for certain, including that the man standing here is your man. Your 'Tarou. “It’s really you,” you whimper. “Oh, my God….oh, my God!” You can't stop the tears or the blubbering as relief and utter joy wash over you.

Gojo opens your arms for you and he barely budges as you shoot into them, not even making him stagger. You bury your head in his chest, breathing in his scent and moving your hands over his back muscles. “I’ve missed you,” you sob. “I’ve missed you so, so much, Satoru! It’s been awful!”

He holds you tight to him, solid and absolutely real. “Shhh, I’m sorry, Y/N,” he coos. “I would’ve come back sooner, but I had to take care of some things.”

You pull away to look up at him through your blurred vision. He doesn't appear hurt or bruised. In fact, he looks the exact same he did before he was sealed in that box. “What do you–“

“And I’ll tell you everything after I get some pussy.”

You pause, processing his abrupt words. “What?” you scoff. “But what about all that's happened? How'd you even escape the Prison Realm? Have you eaten or drank? What about–"

Gojo, impatient, presses a long finger to your lips. “Forget about all of that right now, Y/N. Worry about the fact that you haven’t seen me in three years and you’re dying for me to put you in the mattress again.”

Then that familiar, dark, lustful look crosses his eyes like an eclipse, taking over him. “I think you’re understanding me clearly," he says, his voice dipping an octave lower than usual. “Daddy’s home, baby. Now take your fuckin’ clothes off.”

You stare at him hard, wondering if he is serious. You haven’t seen him in three years. You have so many more questions to ask him. Like what did he do while sealed? Did he see Yuji, Megumi and Nobara before he came? Were they the ones that got him out? Is he okay? 

But from the way he is staring you down like he wants to take a piece of you, you can tell that all of those questions will have to just wait to be answered. Plus, the last one is already answered for you: no, he isn’t okay. He is fucking feening for you. He needs you. You can tell from the way his hands grip you closer and from the feeling of his semi hard-on pressing into your thigh from inside his pants. 

You can’t imagine what three years without sex was like and you don’t want to. So you’re more than happy to give him whatever he is looking for right now. “O-Okay, Gojo,” you softly stutter. Your hands move to his top to unbutton it, first starting at the bottom. But your hands fumble and shake as if this is the first time you’re doing this for him. 

“Takin’ too long,” Gojo growls, impatient. Tearing your hands away from his shirt, he immediately rips the $1,000 top off of you, revealing your laced bra and panties underneath. You squeak as he does so, alarmed. “Gojo, your shirt!” you gasp, especially when the buttons fly all over the place. 

“Forget the fuckin’ shirt,” he says, his voice all but a rasp. "I’ll get a new one. It’s not fair how sexy you look in my clothes, sweetheart.” He presses his lips to your chest, breathing you in for a moment. “God, I’ve missed your smell,” he sighs. “I’ve missed how you feel. I’ve missed you so, so much.” He pulls away then, looking down at your hand. “And you’re still wearing the ring,” he points out. 

You look down at your hand where the sterling silver engagement ring sits, its diamonds sparkling at you. “Of course,” you whisper. “I never took it off. I’m engaged to you.” You want to tell him that you always dreamed he’d come back, that you wanted him to see you with it when he did. 

“So there’s been no one else?” he suddenly asks, his eyes sizing you up. “You haven’t been with any other man besides me?” Immediately, you shake your head. “No, Daddy,” you whisper, immediately falling back into the soft, obedient, submissive state that you always slide into with him as if it’s natural to you. And it is. He makes you feel so safe and loved and kept. It’s impossible not to do so all for him. “There’s been no one,” you say. “No one can ever make me feel the way you do.” 

A crooked smirk crosses Gojo’s lips that has you quivering in between your thighs. “So one has played with this body but me?” he asks. “No one has played with that pussy but me?” Again, you shake your head, your breath becoming short and labored. His eyes seem to dark even more, becoming an ocean blue. “That’s what I wanna hear,” he whispers. Then his lips are finally, finally, on yours, his tongue dancing and swirling with yours, creating a wet, sloppy, feverish kiss that takes your breath away. 

You moan wantonly into his mouth, wrapping your arms around him. Oh, how you’ve missed this. How you’ve only prayed to feel these lips again. At some point during the dizzying kissing session, Gojo pulls his clothes off, breaking apart from you to strip himself of his shirt, pants, and shoes, leaving himself in his designer briefs that look way tighter than usual.

Actually, now that you’re noticing it, his entire body looks buffer than usual. Gojo has always had muscles but was leaner three years ago. Now, his muscles are more defined, pushing up against his shirt when he has it on. 

He smirks at your wandering eyes. “Something you like, mama?” he purrs. He takes your hand, running it over his hard abs and chiseled abs where his pink nipples are hard for you, ready to be sucked. “Something…different?” 

“It’s just…you’re so…” You shudder in delight as he slides your hand down his stomach that you could bake cookies on. “Big,” you decide, running your free hand up his forearm. “You don’t have much to do in the Prison Realm except work out and masturbate,” he chuckles. “I wanted to be bigger and stronger for you when I was finally free. And I wanna let you know something, baby.” He leans in then, pressing his lips against your ear. “It’s all yours,” he whispers. “This body…this cock…everything. All of it is yours.” 

You shudder again as his dirty words swirl in your mind. He pulls away, smirking at you. “Lemme show you what I mean.” Then, instantly, he is snapping off your bra and flinging it away before his lips and hands are latching to your nipples. He sucks and licks at your hard, brown nipples like a hungered man, his hands groping the sensitive globes and pinching your nipples with his long, piano fingers. “Look at these beautiful fuckin’ titties,” he says, more to himself than to you. “I’ve missed my girls so much.” 

Your head falls back and your mouth opens, captured by the pleasure he is giving you. “S-Satoru,” you whimper. Every graze of his teeth and lick of his skillful tongue has your pussy gushing. You haven’t been this wet in three years! Actually, you haven’t even been horny in three years. No one has ever been able to arouse you the way Gojo can. 

You find yourself rolling your hips against his knee as your hands grasp his broad shoulders for balance and leverage. Gojo hums as you grind your wet, panty-covered pussy against his knee, smirking up at you playfully. “Grindin’ that pussy on my leg, hm?” he tuts. “Even after three years, you’re still a little slut. I wouldn’t have it any other way though.”

He gives one of your titties one last suck before he shoves himself away from you. You stare up at him, confused, while he only gives you a stern look. “Get on the bed and open your legs. I need that pussy in my face.” 

You are helpless to refuse him, especially when your pussy is begging and sobbing for the same thing. You quickly hurry onto the bed and sit back onto your elbows as you open your legs for him. Gojo is between them immediately, his hands ripping off your panties as if they are no more than strings. As soon as he gets a look at your puffy, wet pussy leaking for him, he groans and his cock visibly twitches in his pants. “Shit,” he hisses. “I’ve missed her too.” 

And then he’s giving in like he would the cleanest, purest, bluest waters, his hands under your ass to give him a better angle and a better way to plunge his tongue deeper inside you. He laps and sucks at your pussy and sensitive clit, his tongue flicking and swirling around your hole like he needs it. Craves it.

You grab at his hair, pushing his head deeper into you as you wail and moan to the heavens above. “O-Oh, my God!” you cry out to the ceiling. “‘Tatoru, yes, more! Please give me more! Don’t stop!” 

Your voice bounces off of the bedroom walls, unbound and unashamed. You haven’t had this kind of pleasure––so intense and explosive––in so long. His wet mouth and soft lips feel so good. His nose brushing against your clit as his tongue swirls inside your pussy is beyond. You feel incredible…too incredible. Gojo works his mouth fast, pulling you quickly towards an orgasm that gathers in your core and threatens to tumble down over you.

“Wait, Daddy!” you protest. “Slow down! ‘M gonna cum too fast!” 

Gojo’s blue eyes peer up at you through long, white lashes as he continues to lap at your cunt. “Do it,” he demands. “‘Cause I’m finna make you cum as many times as I want to. I’ll make you cream your pretty brains out till dawn, baby. I’m making up for lost time.” 

He ducks back down, going faster, and even adding his long index and middle fingers inside of the wet, tight depths of your pussy. Your walls clench around him instantly as he expertly finds your G-spot and begins gliding his fingers up against it, encouraging you to cum with every stroke of his fingers and tongue. “Do it,” he orders. “Cum for me. Cum around my fingers and my tongue, gorgeous. I’ve got you. I promise.” 

And you know he does. He grips one of your hips with one hand as he finger fucks you with the other, humming “mm-hmm” and other encouraging words that are smothered by your pussy as he drags you closer to your orgasm. When it finally breaks, it crashes onto you like a wave, causing your back to arch off of the bed like you’re experiencing an exorcism. “Fuck!” you sob as you feel your body shake and shudder through your earth-shattering orgasm. 

Moans of Gojo’s government and curses to the stars leave your lips as Gojo carries you through your mind-blowing, body-shaking, earth-quaking orgasm…and even after, when your body aches and your heart is pounding, he continues to eat your pussy.

He continues to lap and suck at your lips, cleaning up the cum that dribbles out your hole and down your asscrack. He licks there too, moaning breathlessly and wantonly as he does. Finally, when he is good and satisfied, he pulls away from you and sits back onto his hands, breathing heavily with his chin and lips shiny with your juices and his saliva. 

A weak moan leaves your lips as your pussy twitches in delight and exhaustion at being stimulated. You feel so, so good. So free. You finally feel as if the sun has finally shown itself behind the gray clouds that have darkened your life for three years. You look at your man adoringly, wanting him to know how much you love him and how good he has made you feel. “Gojo,” you sigh. “That was amazing. I–“ 

“Open your mouth,” he demands. You button your lip, your words failing you immediately. You stare at him blankly, your post-orgasm brain not quite processing his words. Gojo sits up on his knees on the mattress, grabbing his cock in his pants. “You fuckin’ heard me,” he growls. “Open that slutty mouth, now. Don’t make me tell you again, little girl.” He pins you down with an intimidating look that is only intensified by his sapphire eyes. 

Once again, you can’t deny him. While still recovering from your orgasm, you open your mouth wide for him, your plump lips covering your teeth and your tongue out. Just the way he likes it. Gojo walks towards you on his knees and stays beside you as he unbuttons his pants. In one swift motion, he takes down his pants and his briefs, causing his cock to pop out. The long, thick, veiny appendage, bubbling with pre-cum from its pink head, lightly slaps you in the face, causing you to gasp. 

Gojo grabs your neck rather roughly, pulling you towards his cock without properly preparing you or waiting for you to prepare yourself. You stare down at his large dick, alarmed at how hard he is. The veins in his shaft throb as does his head that is quickly turning from a soft pink to an angry red. “Gojo, hold up–“ 

But your words are interrupted by his cock sliding between your lips. A hiss of relief leaves Gojo’s lips as he grips your neck, beginning to rut his hips deep into your mouth. “Sorry, mama,” he groans, “but I can’t be nice to that throat today. I’m just too pent-up. You understand, right?”

You can’t even answer. His cock is too thick; too big; it stretches your mouth out too wide, making your jaw hurt. But all you have to do is breathe through your nose and take it, which Gojo tells you to do so, as he begins to fuck your throat like it’s your pussy. Like it’s his own personal fleshlight. 

“Fuckin’ fuck yes!” Gojo loudly grunts, his voice completely primal and animalistic as he roughly fucks your throat. Though he has fucked your throat before, this time, it feels much, much different. He grips your hair and makes your scalp sting with how much he pulls it. He plunges your throat so fast and so hard in your sloppy throat that saliva drips down your chin and down your tits. He turns your face into his fuck toy, doing with it as he pleases. 

But though primal and animalistic, he is still completely involved with your pleasure. When you suddenly feel his fingers quickly rubbing your clit after licking his palm, your body lurches and your thighs twitch while you whine and protest feebly around his cock. “Theeeere we go,” he chuckles. “That’s what I want. Feel good with me, mama. This is where your weak, right? Right here?” 

He applies more pressure, rubbing your rosebud in time with his thrusts into your throat, his balls swinging against your chin. All you can feel, taste, and smell is him. Your senses are completely overtaken by him. “T-Tawou!” You moan around his cock. “Two mwuch! ‘M sensitive!” Your words are a muffled, jumbled mess around his thick dick, causing more spit to fall from your mouth as you try to speak. 

You go to close your legs, but Gojo’s hand yanking on your hair stops you short. “Uh-uh, sweetie,” he teasingly says. “Don't pull away. You owe me this.” He pushes your head farther down his cock, bottoming out in your mouth, causing him to moan so loud that it echoes in the bedroom. “You owe me this for stayin’ so damn sexy after so long. How is that even possible?” He questions you repeatedly as he fucks your throat harder and faster, grunting as he does so. "How's that possible, huh? Huh? Tell me, baby.” 

You are turned into a total and complete hole the more he fucks your mouth and flicks your clit, bringing you to yet another orgasm that has your thighs shaking. Finally, he releases your hair and lets you pull away, causing his cock to pop out of your mouth. “Gonna cum!” you whine, spit and cum all over your mouth. “I’m cummin’ again, Satoru!” 

Gojo stares at your pussy like a kid in a candy store as you cum once again, gushing all around his long fingers and all over the bedsheets. “Gooood girl!” he praises you. “Cum on these fingers, baby. Gimme what I want, but don't get too distracted, mmkay?” He takes his cock and slides himself back home into your mouth even as you moan and your body writhes on the bed. 

“Yes, yes, yes,” he chants, transfixed by the way your body moves and your pussy clenches. “That’s what I want. This is what I need.”

He rubs at your clit until he can feel your exhausted body jerking from the aftershocks. He finally pulls away from you then, cock and all, though he is still hard and throbbing. “I need to fuck you now,” he growls, desperation in his eyes. “And I can’t stop until I cum inside you, baby…without a rubber. Is that okay with you?” 

You blink at him, your sight slightly blurred from the two orgasms and your throat raw from it being fucked into oblivion. He must know that you will say yes. He must know that you’ll say yes to anyone he wants or needs. But yet, he still asks because safe sex has always been a priority with him in your relationship. He has always used condoms and has always made a point to not do anything involving PIV sex if he happened to run out.

But now, here he is, telling you that he needs to fuck you raw and cum inside you, possibly breeding you. And you find yourself burning for the same thing like a wildfire has lit inside you. You lean back against the pillows and open your cum-soaked thighs for him, showing him your glistening, puffy, sensitive pussy. “Yes,” you reply. “Fuck me, Daddy. Cum inside me. Breed me.” 

Gojo stares at your pussy, spread open for him like it’s spun gold. Suddenly, the loving, silly, goofy man you’ve grown to love is gone, replaced with one who is starved, rough, demanding, and merciless. It thrills and frightens you.

“Oh, you’re gonna fuckin’ get it, girl,” he growls before he grabs you, tosses you onto your back, and gets on top of you. “I’m gonna fuck you till you’re spent,” he promises as he throws your legs over his shoulders and prepares to slide deep inside of you until his balls touch your ass. 

When he says this, he means it. Baby, Gojo has you in every position known to man.

He starts first by fucking you in missionary, giving you deep, deep dick that nearly touches your soul and makes you see stars. One of his big, veiny hands wraps around your throat, squeezing gently on your windpipe, while the other pins your thigh open as his cock plunges in and out of your wet, sobbing cunt. He pounds you into the mattress, his big body pressing against yours and his hips nailing your pelvis. 

Then he has you on top in 69, his hands groping and smacking your jiggly ass while he, once again, stuffs his face in your cunt. You suck his dick in time with his tongue laps, gagging and slobbering all over his cock much to his delight. It is sloppy and dirty and messy…and you love every minute of it.

You love how his pubic hairs tickle your chin the deeper you slide him down your throat. You love how your eyes sting with tears as he tickles the back of your throat. You love the way his tongue slides from your pussy hole to your asshole, lapping at each one as if they’re the best things he’s ever tasted. 

He fucks on your back, hanging off the bed. He fucks you on your stomach, your ass tooted up while his feet are firmly planted on the bed, hammering his dick deep inside of you. He sucks you on your side, his hands cupping your jiggling breasts while his lips caress your neck and shoulder. And he makes you cum every. Single. Time. 

By the time he has you on your knees with his cock buried deep in your pussy once again and your arms pulled behind your back, your body is aching for rest and your pussy is a mushy, gushy mess around his cock. 

But still you persist, moaning and screaming at the top of your lungs the harder he fucks you. Your voice, along with his own, the creaking bedsprings, and the sound of skin slapping against skin, fills the air around you. “Yes, yes, Daddy, yes, fuck me!” you babble, your words a jumbled mess.

Gojo cackles from behind you, loving how slutty and broken you are on his cock. “You feelin’ good, baby?” he asks. “This dick makin’ you feel good? Don’t have to use those damn toys or those fingers anymore, no. You’ve got me now and I’ll take good, good care of this pussy.” 

He slams his hips harder against your ass, making it bounce and jiggle. The harder he goes, the more intense your orgasm gets and you find yourself about to have your sixth orgasm of the day…or night. Is it nighttime now? You can't tell. You’ve been at this for hours, fucking and cumming all over the bed. You don't even know what day it is anymore.

All you can think about is Gojo’s dick and cumming on it. “Shit, I’m gonna cum again!” you sob. 

Gojo’s hand circles around your throat, choking you. “Cum on this dick,” he demands. “Do it! Fuckin’ do it for me, baby!”

And you do. Like a puppet on a string being controlled by the white-haired, big-dicked man behind you, you writhe in the air and cum all over his cock. A weak, long moan leaves your lips as you come undone, all self-control leaving you. Gojo pulls out of you with a hiss, talking about how “fuckin’ tight” you are. When you’re released, your arms fall to your sides as you crumble onto the mattress, falling face-first into the pillow. Your body is hot and sweaty, your pussy is twitching, your ass is stinging from his assault on it. You are completely spent. 

Gojo leans down to kiss your forehead, smiling at your exhaustion. “Aww, is my baby tired now?” he coos. You weakly moan in response, too tired to speak. “Too bad because I still need to cum inside you. You did ask me to breed you and I’ve gotta make this count.” 

Before you can even protest, he is grabbing your weak body and forcing you onto your knees, hiking your ass up for him. He sinks into your overly sensitive, used pussy once more, drawing a moan out of both of you. You let him do as he pleases, too exhausted to fight or argue.

He takes hold of your hips and ruts into you like his life depends on it, nailing that spot again and again that makes you see the entire universe behind your eyelids. It feels so damn good. He fucks you at a breakneck pace, going faster with each second that passes. “O-Oh, s-shit!” you scream into the mattress. “F-Fuck, Daddy, f-f-u-uck!” 

Gojo’s fucking is egged on by your moans, his pelvis slamming into your ass and taking your very breath away. “Take this cock,” he groans. “Take all of this dick, baby. It’s yours. All of it is fuckin’ yours. It always was and always will be.” He hikes up his leg and fucks you on one knee, causing him to grow louder and his moans to become more desperate and needy. 

“God, I missed this!” he whines. “I’ve been fucking burning for you, baby. Needed you so, so much!” You picture him in the Prison Realm, his hand wrapped around his cock as he is surrounded by darkness and loneliness. As tears spring into your eyes, you lift yourself up onto weak arms to look back at him. “Then show me,” you whisper. “Show me how much you’ve missed me. Cum inside me, ‘Tarou, baby.” 

You begin to toss your ass back into him, meeting his every thrust. Gojo takes what you give him and serves it right back, moving in tandem with you. “You want me to cum?” he asks. You nod, moaning and whimpering as you feel his cock begin to swell inside you. “You want me to feel that pussy up?” he grunts. “Want me to make you a mommy? Want me to give you a kid? My kid?” 

He begins to pound your pussy into the mattress again, picking up speed. You can feel your last orgasm rising, ready to rip through you. “Say it to me, mama,” he demands. “Tell me you want my baby. Lemme hear it.” 

“Yes!” you cry out. “Yes, Satoru, I want your child! I wanna mother your baby!” That must please Gojo because he begins rolling his hips harshly against your ass, rutting into you like he’s trying to fit a home run. His handsome face is red and glittering in sweat, his snow-white hair plastered to his wet forehead.

“Can’t wait to see you full with me,” he groans. “Can’t wait till this tummy is round with my baby and those tits are full of milk. You’re gonna look so, so pretty carryin’ my baby, sweetheart. You’re gonna be the best mommy ever.” 

And he’ll be the best daddy ever. That is all you can think as you feel your own orgasm rising at the same time as him, like the sun and the moon rising in unison in the sky. Forever bonded. Forever together.

“Gonna cum,” Gojo warns. “Gonna cum deep inside you. You’d better cum with me too. Cum all over my cock, baby. Cum with me while I fill this little pussy up.” 

You nod and wail into the pillow, gripping it for dear life as another blinding orgasm rips through your body. Gojo fucks into your wet, cum-soaked pussy until he feels his own nut coming and he desperately fucks you to chase his high. “Cumming!” he babbles. “‘M cummin’, I’m cummin’, I’m cummin’!”

And when he fills you up, it’s explosive. It’s deep. It’s intense. It fills every part of you, filling you with warmth and the feeling of being absolutely filled to the brim. You weakly moan as you feel his cum fill your tummy, no doubt reaching your womb. He stills for a moment, plugging his cum inside you, before slowly and sloppily rocking his hips into you to fuck his cum deep into your pussy. 

When he is finally sure that you’re good and bred, he puts his hands on his narrow hips and whistles tiredly. “Shit,” he sighs. “I really needed that.” You moan in agreement. He then pulls out of you slowly, causing you to whimper quietly as your aching pussy is no longer filled.

He stares at it between your thighs, humming appetizingly. “Mmm, now that’s a sight: a pretty, fucked pussy drippin’ with my cum. Don’t mind if I do.” 

Then his mouth is between your thighs again, lapping gently at his and your cum mingled together all over your pussy and inner thighs. You arch your back for him, moaning softly at his soft, careful tongue strokes.

When he finishes, you turn to him, finding his semi-hard cock dripping with your mingled fluids. “You still got some left here, Daddy,” you coo before moving to lap up the cum you left behind on his cock. He allows it, his hand in your hair while he sighs about how good you are. 

Once you are cleaned up and all is said and done, the two of you finally lay side by side in your bed, together again at last. You curl into his chest, leaning your head against his heart and wrapping your arms around him. He welcomes it, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead “Welcome home, baby,” you whisper as you look up at him. “Now you gonna tell me how you got out?” 

He looks down at you, almost as if he forgot he was supposed to answer a bunch of your very important questions. “Oh, Itadori did that,” he explains like he’s telling you the weather. “He’s a smart kid, y’know. Say, you up for some sushi? I’m cravin’ some fish right now.” 

All you can do is laugh and kiss your man before getting the takeout menu that you keep in the nightstand next to the bed. All the important questions can wait.

For now, all you want and need is him.

THE END.

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Fem! Reader/ .11 [Slight Nsfw]

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, ec project with Nickolas the transfer student, drunk sukuna shows up at the dorm(!?), a small makeout session, some sexual touching and mentions of grinding/humping at readers thighs, caring for this stressed out man-slut, ooc sukuna.

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 5.036k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n: hey guys! sorry for the delay ^^ i've been wanting to get some chapters drafted before posting them! ty sm for the patience i hope u enjoy and r ready for the upcoming drama between sukuna and y/n!

a/n 2: so so sooooo sorry for being three days later after saying i'd be posting right away!!>< I was with family and the wifi was being iffy the last few days. I couldn't access many of my socials and much less work on the final draft of the chapter!! i powered thro until i was satified and it's finally here! i hope you enjoy!!

chapter/idea cred to: @misslauravillanueva i needed to give credit for the help! i was struggling on what to do!><

. . .

Thank you for reading this! Enjoy!

“Achoo!”

“Ah, are you alright?” Geto’s cool tone echoed from the kitchen, his brow raised with a curious expression written on his face. “Coming down with something? I told you to relax from studying for a while–”

“It’s not that!” You huff, cheeks burning with embarrassment. ”I just sneezed. I don’t know why though..”

“Okay, relax. I’m not gonna get upset.”

With a pout, you leaned against the armrest of the couch. Bowl of mac and cheese with little hot dogs in hand and a Coke on the coffee table. Eyes returning back to the TV screen and watching the current crime show playing, listening to the crimes that the murderer committed as he was handed a death sentence. 

Sometimes, when I let my mind wander to Sukuna.. It feels like that.

The idea that he’s now stuck on your mind despite all the anger he had towards you. The almost strange obsession and addiction to the idea of him. While you’ve been repetitively trying to control these new emotions and thoughts, you couldn’t help it. Seeing Sukuna that day in Ec class all those days ago. Having to tutor him. Even dealing with his weird smirks and teasing.

..That kiss too..

“Your face is doing that thing again, Y/n,” Geto’s voice chirped out of nowhere, causing you to jolt in your spot. “So jumpy over a guy? You know therapy exists, right?”

Returning a rather poorly chosen burn, Geto stood from his spot on the couch and waved a hand at you. Grabbing his things and his shoes from the carpet near the door, he sent you another telling look.

“If you're this upset, just ask what's up. Seriously, seeing you get stressed over this is kinda.. sad.”

There was a stabbing pain in your chest. You knew.

“Good night to you too, Suguru,” You hum, leaning on your fist as the door closed with a click. Leaving you alone in the dormitory for a few moments.

Your thoughts clouding your headspace until you decided to go to bed. Unable to understand this dreadful lil thing people called love, unable to understand why Sukuna Ryomen had crawled his way into your heart just by being an ass.

Tomorrow is another day.. Right?

. . .

“Today we'll be picking partners for class projects!”

Eh?? Ehhhhh????

You blinked a few times at the announcement, looking down towards Toji as students began to groan and complain a little. Quickly these were silenced as Toji lifted a stack of papers and chuckled deeply in his husky voice.

“It's not my problem, just get them done. You have two weeks to do it, so get your partners. The class is uneven so be ready for one of y'all's groups to have an extra person. It's a self-pick topic type of thing so start discussing today or tomorrow your topic and go with it!”

Toji tapped the papers on his desk and sat, letting his tie loose as he started relaxing for the rest of the period.

“If you need suggestions for your topic, there's a list in here along with your presentation requirements. I expect all names and correct citations with these as well.”

You let out a small groan and rub your temple. Not only were you stressed, now you had to deal with this? Extra shifts at work couldn't save you from this type of annoyance. It's not that you hated group projects, it's just a small tick when half of them throw the work onto you.

Pros and cons. Pros– none. Cons– work was usually tossed onto you.

You stood from your desk and began making your way down the steps to grab a paper. A strange chill ran up your spine as you passed Sukuna’s. Sparing a glance over, your cheeks warmed almost immediately.

Some bits of hair were pinned back and a pen rested on an ear. His shirt had a few buttons undone with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Black pants tight enough to have made a bakery spawn on the seat he sat upon. He looked really handsome, daring to battle even Toji’s good looks, and it was getting to you. 

What hit the nail in the coffin is when he just so happened to catch you ogling with your tongue practically hanging out of your mouth. His eyes sharpened at your expression as a smirk curled at the corners of his lips.

An almost playful yet teasing smile you weren't used to seeing on his face caught you off guard. It made your face hot, and your shame grow a few beats in that moment.

“Stop creeping” was basically what his face was saying.

Letting out a strained cough, you covered your face and made your way back up to your desk. Positive that his eyes had followed you all the way up the stairs before you sat in your spot. Hiding behind the paper and some random book you grabbed from your bag.

You couldn't be more obvious, could you?

While fellow students started to shift in their seats and partner up with friends and just random buddies from in the room, Sukuna was swarmed with a small audience of girls as he stood from his seat to also fetch a paper. The guys that sat around him gave him annoyed side-eyes and snorts as he absorbed the attention from all the women in the room. 

“Sukuna, do you wanna partner with me?” One asked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose and letting the blush on her cheeks show.

“Me too, we could all do it together!” Another spoke up, poking her button nose into their conversation. Her bright green eyes staring up at Sukuna with a needy gleam.

It makes you confused to an extent, making you press your brows together as you look to the side. Sukuna probably thought that's what you looked like every time you saw him. It makes your heart ache and head throb, another grand headache to your already upsetting day.

Just let your mind be normal for once in your life.

You begin to gather your things and part from the room, the hustle and bustle of the classroom quietly fading into the background. Letting out a relaxed sigh as the sight of your bed creeped into the corners of your mind– oh, how you wished to be relaxing in bed with your favorite stuffy.

“Hello, miss? Would you like to be my partner for the project?” A voice suddenly called from behind you, somewhat echoing throughout the quiet hallways. It startled you since you didn’t expect anyone to follow you out of the classroom asking such a thing, it piqued your interest.

Lifting your head, you come face to face with someone you didn’t know.

His dark hair was up in a bun with his undercut showing behind his pierced ears, a kind smile flashing behind yet another piercing on his lip. Tanned skin that seemed to glow like it was pampered with the best beauty products around, not a scar or pimple in sight. Cute dimples at the corners of his lips adding to his boyish charm while his honey eyes gleamed at you. It reminded you of Yuji in a sense, but this was not Yuji.

You’ve never seen this guy before– a really cute one at that.

“Hello,” you say, momentarily stunned at the stranger, letting your hand weakly wave. “Uhm, partner?”

There was an adorable chuckle that furthered your stunned silence before you heard a response. “Yes, I saw you walk out here alone and thought you might need one.”

You take in a deep breath, regaining your composure quickly and patting yourself down. “Ah, right. I actually don’t like having a partner, my past experiences have led me to conclude that they’re not the best option for a project. Besides, I’m a big girl, I can handle one on my own.”

“I can see why,” He starts, looking back at the classroom with the still clamoring students before returning his attention to you. “That horde in there was after one guy, they don’t care about this project. I was actually about to do the same as you when I saw my choices were so low.”

Rubbing a big calloused hand over his nape, the strangers’ almond eyes looked from the empty halls and to you, his smile sheepish. “Please? Don’t make me beg now.”

There was a small silence between you and the stranger as you considered walking off and letting him go with his original plan before the Economics class erupted with whines as Sukuna and a girl walked from inside. The color left your cheeks, seeing the girl’s arm wrapped tightly around Sukuna’s. Looking as if he was protecting her from the growing crowd of the class, engaging in an active conversation as they walked on by.

Your heart sank sharply, seeing Sukuna letting someone else into his circle. He used to be so cold, so annoyed with people when he was younger. Only letting you really hold him that close, giving you nuzzles of appreciation since he didn’t like to say it aloud.

Now, he gives you the cold shoulder and holds others that aren’t you close.

Without letting your head finish its last thought and your eyes still trained on the back of Sukuna’s head, you gave a nod and looked back at the stranger. “Sure. I’m Y/n L/n, by the way.”

“Really? That’s great!” He smiled, the warmth of his company lightening your mood sufficiently more than it was a few moments ago. “My name’s Nickolas Alveres, it’s nice to meet you, L/n.”

The both of you share a smile for a second before Nickolas nods down the hall, motioning for the both of you to head to your next classes. He doesn’t wait for you to join him, but you do anyway. Trying to make small talk with him as you try to get to know your partner, letting the smile on your lips stick.

While you wore a smile, someone else had a frown. A deep scowl, if you will. You didn’t feel it, but Sukuna’s partner saw it.

She raised a brow, cheeks tinted a slight color as she cast her gaze in the same direction. Seeing you close to another man, only escalating the befuddlement.

“What’s wrong, Sukuna?”

A disgruntled look was plastered all over said man’s face, his frown so prominent it was a waste of time to even attempt to hide it. A chasm of wrinkles forming on his forehead as his brows pressed together at the sight before him. Watching the way you and some kid walked side by side with a smile on your face, not a care in the world.

When did you get so chummy?

“It’s nothing.. Let’s go, Haru,” He said, not sparing a second to look back at you. With a huff, he pulled his work partner, Haru, with him to the nearby library to find a good subject for this project.

It’s what he wanted anyways.. right?

. . .

“Wait, wait.. He punched Gojo in the face?!” Nickolas laughed, holding his cup up to his lips quickly to cover his giggles and chuckles. His nose crinkled up as they continued despite his obvious resistance. “He must’ve been drunk too to get so defensive!! I thought he was just a jerk most of the time.”

“Usually he is,” You start, crossing your legs under the coffee table. Looking over some of the notebooks the both of you had sprawled out onto the wood to look for any good topics to talk about in the presentation. Quickly, you scribbled out one, taking a sip from your cup and looking back up to Nickolas. “Recently though, he’s been alright. Not as mean as he used to be, but not one-hundred percent rude and annoying.”

A calm silence filled the air as Nickolas rested his work in his lap, taking a moment to look from them to you. “Speaking of, how long have you known this guy? You talk about him like he’s an old friend.”

The corner of your lips twitch upwards for a short second before you let your face relax. “He was. Not really interested in joining forces again recently.”

Nickolas nodded his head in understanding, eyes glazing over somewhat on what response to give. Seeing that the idea of this guy somehow hurt you, it got him concerned. Why bother letting him get to you so deeply if this is the result? It doesn’t make sense.

“Don’t let it get to you too much, Y/n,” He mustered after a short silence, placing his cup on the coffee table and letting his ring tap against the plastic. “If he’s still letting you be this close, even helping you care for a friend, that’s gotta be something.”

You nod numbly, knowing the obvious has been said too many times. Talk to him, ask him how he’s doing about the relationship, what does he want from you? The same three things that you always wanted to say when you were with him, but how. Other than tutoring, other than being near each other in class, you and Sukuna spent little to no time together.

All you remember about him is that he was the tough kid in school with home problems that liked to play tag and hide and seek. That he scared you with bugs and frogs while at the lake or near the Willow tree. The fond memories you shared with him couldn’t be the only factor that you had to use to judge what you wanted, you had to be around him more.

How was going to be the hardest puzzle to solve.

“Oh well,” Nickolas yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “It’s about time i get headed to my dorm. I have an early class tomorrow. I’ll leave you my number so that we can plan meetings for the project!”

Jokes and laughter filled the room as you and your partner exchanged information when there was a loud commotion at the door. You glanced from Nickolas to the dorm door and let out a light hearted chuckle, waving your hands next to your head.

“Ah, I’ll go get that! Gather your things, okay?”

Nickolas nodded and turned to his open binder and mess of notebook paper splayed on the coffee table, humming to himself as you rushed over to the front door. Hair stood at attention when you opened that door, seeing a messed up man laying on the hallway floor. A big wine bottle squeezed tightly in his right hand, the other placed next to his head on the floor.

His voice came out in gentle hums of some random rock song, lyrics jumping out from his mouth every second or so in a drunken daze. His fluffy hair was messy and almost unrecognizable until you realized who it was.

It was Sukuna.

“Wh.. What are you doing here?” You shout, shocked at his arrival, but there was not really a response. Only his hand raising to wave his finger around to the hum of his song. “Sukuna, answer me!!”

“..rather be.. Than lonely..”

Letting out a sigh, you look back at Nickolas and see his confused face staring at the gap between you and the door down at Sukuna. He stood there ready to go with his bag strap on his shoulder and keys in hand, giving you quick glances for some semblance of an answer. You give a small shrug, looking back to the immobile man on the ground.

Gently, you kick at one of his legs to try and get something out of him. “Sukuna, get up!”

Not a single thing, just a grunt and a tussle before your eyes finally connect with glazed ones. Maroon pools that were foggy beyond belief, not having a thought behind them. Nickolas tilts his head to the side and shakes it, giving you a pat on the arm and a sheepish smile.

“I'll get out of your hair, Y/n. Good luck!”

You step out of the man’s way, looking down at the disgruntled Sukuna and give a weak chuckle. Parting ways with Nickolas for the evening and kneeling down to Sukuna and shaking his shoulder. “Sukuna, you’ll get sick, get up.”

“..Doesn’t matter,” Sukuna mumbled, closing his eyes and taking a sip of his drink. “F’m sick, I’ll just be sick..”

“It does matter, now get up.”

You did your best to pull Sukuna up by his arm and into a sitting position, hooking the limp appendage over your shoulder and lifting him up onto his feet. It was a struggle since Sukuna was so heavy, but you managed. The stench of alcohol reeked from his breath and shirt, mixes of dirt and some stains that you didn’t feel the need to ask where they came from. 

Stumbling into your dormitory you freed the near empty beer bottle from Sukuna’s grasp and pulled the door close. He wasn’t giving much fight– probably due to the amount he drank– and just leaned his weight onto you. Mumbling to himself about things you weren’t going to pressure him into answering. Still, it made you wonder.

What the hell drove him to come to my place?

Surely, he wouldn’t mind answering that.

With a huff to your lips you plopped Sukuna’s heavy ass onto the couch and folded your arms. The beer bottle in your hand swirling around as you rotate your wrist ever so slightly, brow raising at Sukuna’s nearly asleep form. It was odd to see the big, strong and mean Sukuna Ryomen on his last leg from intoxication. 

Despite this, you found it cute.

“I’ll go get you some water and maybe a change of clothes,” You announce, tilting your head to see if that gauges a reaction. Sadly there was nothing but a huff and some finger taps on the couch’s cushions. Letting your arms fall to your side, you grunt and place the beer on the table. “Whatever, I’ll be right back.”

You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and some extra sheets from your bedroom before making your way back into the living room to Sukuna. A fresh set of clothing was provided, thanks to Geto’s many late night bang sessions with Shoko, and some cooling pads were placed next to Sukuna on the couch. He didn’t do much but glance at the items, turning his face away in– what you assumed– was a quiet protest.

Sukuna never acted this petty and spoiled before. What’s gotten into him?

“Let’s get you changed, yeah?” Gently, you press your hands to his chest, earning a reaffirming nod and proceeding to undo the buttons of his collared shirt. 

It was strange to be in this position. On your knees, undressing the man you’ve pinned for for so long, only to be seeing this messy and unkempt side you didn’t like to imagine him being. The feelings in your chest that you wanted to put away were making your heart race once more, every glance you got to see from the mess you called Sukuna.

His hair made him resemble his brother more than anything else now, hanging over his sweaty forehead and tattoo. Arms hanging loosely at his sides, man spreading for all of the world to see. Shamefully, you enjoyed the calm attention. Even though it was unsightly, you liked getting to touch all over Sukuna’s body.

“There,” You mumble to yourself, having officially released Sukuna from his shirt. “N-Now, onto your..”

Trailing off, you look down at Sukuna’s pants. Swallowing thickly at the idea of pulling off his trousers, you took a deep breath. I’m never going to live this shame down!

Gently, you began to undo his belt. You face burning ever more as the air began to tense, wishing that anyone but you would be this bashful over something so silly. Still, regret hit you harder than the embarrassment or shame ever could.

Sukuna was watching you. Watching your hands slip the belt loose, pulling his button undone and pulling at his waistband. You tugged, unable to yank them down and free his lower half.

“Sukuna.. Can you lift your hips?” You ask in a soft voice, startled by the quick response. But what was it really, he was watching your every move. You felt like you were being examined in some office and not helping Sukuna undress. “Thank you.”

“Mm.”

Making haste of the situation, you pulled down the fabric of his trousers and grabbed the loose shorts you had found from earlier. Ignoring all thoughts of Sukuna and how perfect his legs looked, the thick black hands of his tattoos on the fat of his thigh. The way the bulge in his briefs was much a cause for distraction, even denying that it twitched once freed from it’s confines.

Yep, never happened.

“There, all better,” You sigh, satisfied. “Now that your ready for bed, I’m going to do the same.”

It took a few minutes, but you had completely reclothed Sukuna and he now looked more sleepy and ready for bed rather than drunk off his ass and about to black out on the couch. You had struggled to even get him to take a sip of water and sober up, but to no avail. You figured you’d have to try again tomorrow morning and explain the situation once he woke up in a confused fit.

Getting him comfortable on the couch too was another ordeal you didn’t think you’d go through, but you did. Tucking in the large male until he was all cozy and warm, safely resting his head on one of your spare pillows.

“I’ll see ya in the morning, Ryo,” You mumble, letting your mind wander for a moment and tracing the outline of one of his tattoos on his bicep. Feeling the muscle twitch under your touch momentarily.

“Mgh,” Sukuna muffled out, cheeks warm to the touch.

Letting out another sigh, you stand from your spot next to the couch. Only to be pulled back towards the culprit at hand, falling ass first next to his lap. Sukuna didn’t make a sound, just grasped onto your hips and pulled you in for a hug. His arms anchored around your lower stomach, pressing into the arch of your spine and forcing you to press against him as well.

His nose was pressed into the crook of your shoulder, but you continued to crusade for answers from the sudden affection. “AGH! Sukuna, that was highly uncalled for!! What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Answer me, dammit–!!”

“Who was that guy?”

You flinch, caught off guard. The clarity and conviction in Sukuna’s voice was strange, seeing as he had been stumbling and leaning into you for the last few moments. “Uhm, my Economics partner Nickolas. It shouldn’t matter, you need to sleep!”

“I don’t need sleep,” Sukuna grunts out, lifting himself off of the couch and trapping you underneath him. Using his big arms like a cage, eyes locking you in place with a vice on your heart. “What was he doin’ hanging here?”

“Sukuna, this is childish,” You start, ready to defend yourself for a confrontation. “He’s my class partner, you shouldn’t be upset over it.”

Wait.. why was he upset?

Previously, he had never seemed to give a flying fuck what you did or whom you did it with. What’s with the sudden change of heart? It made yours ache at the possibilities, wondering what could it be that made him so hostile all of the sudden over Nickolas.

“I barely know him anyways..”

“And you let him sit here on this couch?”

There was a small slap sound as skin met skin, Sukuna’s palm and fingers grasping your chin and cheeks. A gentle but firm squeeze sent shivers down your spine, your hand reaching up to try and pull Sukuna’s off but to no avail. His eyes scanned your face for anything, a sign.

Something. Anything that would make this ache in his chest stop.

“What is he to you, huh?” His voice came out rough, deep. Intimidating. 

It was scary, but a shudder was sent up your spine. A lustful and unneeded shudder, one that sent ideas to your brain. That made your mind wander, but you held them back. 

Even as Sukuna’s lips captured yours, as his teeth grazed and nibbled at your lower lip, your hands reached up to tangle themselves in his pink locks. You had to deny, because the Sukuna that was here wasn’t really him. It was a drunk and dissociated version of him, a side that you normally didn’t see. 

A side that he probably didn’t like showing.

“Did you let him do this, mh?” Sukuna muttered, pulling away from your mouth. A string of saliva connecting the both of you for a moment as your lungs fought for breath. Chest rising and falling heavily, your hands hold onto Sukuna’s arms, trying to find something to stabilize yourself in this mess of kisses.

“N-No, we just.. Talked about class–”

“Talked? About class? Me? You?”

Sukuna retreated his touch from your face and instead placed them on your thighs. Laying beside you on the couch, keeping you trapped against his chest and making sure to dress the blankets over you.

“Sukuna, seriously, this isn’t funny anymore,” You whimper, covering your face. How could you push this away? You’ve wanted nothing but to be closer to him, haven’t you?

Desired, pleaded. You wanted everything.. But this wasn’t the way.

Feeling Sukuna’s hands wrap around your waist, having his hot breath on your neck and shoulder as he rutted his hips against the fat of your ass. You felt utterly guilty, like trash. Wanting to crawl away from Sukuna and save him the little grace he had, to avoid giving him something to wake up and regret tomorrow.

“Y/n.. look at me.. Look at what you’ve done,” The man in question ordered, hooking your top leg over his elbow. Letting the bulge in his pants grow more and more, his voice becoming ragged and deep as he got harder and harder. “You’re making a mess of me, can’t you tell?”

You nod, wanting to pull away and sleep in your bed. But the desires in you only wanted you to fall deeper. The strings of your heart being plucked as Sukuna’s lips found the sensitive skin of your neck. Marking and sucking, lewd sucking sounds erupting from his lips as he made harsh hickeys form on the skin.

Mewl after moan escaped you, your pussy wet and slick under the confines of your panties and pajama bottoms. Sukuna could tell, releasing your leg from his hold and slowing his hips for a moment until his hand migrated to your front.

Grinding the flat surface of his palm against your clothed cunt, whispering naughty words into your ear that you had to drown out. Even if the wants in your belly wished for Sukuna to be there, to fill up your insides and make a mess. To be closer than he’s ever let you been for the last month or so, you had to stop this.

And you did, with much regret.

“Sukuna, stop,” You whimper, pulling Sukuna’s hand away from your body. Breaths coming out in baited huffs, you sat up. Not taking a moment to let yourself get lured back in, feeling Sukuna’s hand find your waist again as you resisted further.

“Stop what?” He mutters, annoyance in his voice. Laced with an emotion you wished to unhear. “Didn’t you want this too?”

“Not like this.” Cold, respectful. You had to be this way, to give Sukuna another chance. Letting him have his way now in such a drunken state, you wouldn’t be able to recover a good relationship. “If I was like anyone else, you’d be taken advantage of.”

Sukuna’s touch softened, his glazed eyes clearing for a moment as he looked at the back of your head. Seeing a shimmer of something on your cheek, his fingers trembled. He desired to reach up, to brush those tears away. It was against his very nature, his very being.

He didn’t like the idea of being all cuddly and cozy, being soft and vulnerable with someone. The idea of it made his stomach churn and made the urge to vomit impending. 

But, with you. Seeing those tears form, for his sake. He felt irritated with himself. He caused it. Him.

“I’m going to bed now,” You say, voice shaken up. “Get some water, sleep.”

You stood from your place on the sofa and walked over to the small hallway, entering your bedroom and letting out a shuddering exhale. A weight was now firmly sitting on your chest. It ached, it hurt, it burned.

Everything that pain felt like was exploding in your chest. Reaching up a hand to try and comfort yourself wasn’t worth the effort either as you slid down the wood of your bedroom door. Curling into a feeble position as the tears fell from your eyes, finally free after holding them the whole time.

What you wished you could do about the man on your couch.

. . .

a/n: y'all i literally have a crippling addiction to crime videos and all that shit it's just so interesting for no reason oml (crying inside) also sorry for the month long pause (i say sorry too much) i was creating new characters and working on ideas for the next few chapters!

Chapter Song Them: — Granite - Sleep Token (Lyrics)

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleebloomed, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9, @heyitstacy, @lost-in-tokyo, @marksassybanana, @bozos-r-us , @p-3-4-c-h, @chaoticqueen33, @dxxny-loves-u, @l0tus-in-l0ve , @jiordeci, @opossum0-0, @gumisgirl, @mommasbigd, @heyitstacy, @misslauravillanueva, @fallenlostarchives, @infinitivesearch

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[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 19

warnings: mention of fingering, mention of a blowjob, a lot of sex talk in general.

Part 19

Liana fell asleep on his couch. And all Art wanted to do was to lift her up in his arms and carry her to the bedroom. Then he wanted to lock the door until she had no choice but to agree to sleep in his bed. Instead, Art covered her with a blanket and moved her a bit to put a pillow underneath her, which caused her to wake up.

"Son of a bitch," he muttered to himself. "I’ll go home, okay?" she said, smiling, looking at him with a tired expression. "Don't be stupid, I'm supposed to pick you up in the morning anyway. There’s a guest room here with your name on the door," he smiled. He hated that damn guest room. Her name was supposed to be on his bedroom door.

"I don't want to stay longer than I'm welcome," she sat up. Art looked at her as if she had fallen from the moon. He wanted to shake her, to check if she had accidentally lost the remnants of her brain. "Liana, I swear I’ll carry you to that room myself if you don't move your ass," he said, trying to feign indifference in his voice. In response, Liana simply stood up and raised her hands in surrender.

Three months had passed since Liana and Patrick broke up. Four if counting since Atlanta. Art still hadn't touched her, and he was very close to breaking. And what’s really difficult in this whole situation is the fact that Art knows she is also close to breaking.

He sees it in the way she behaves around him. How she can talk and suddenly touch his shoulder. Or run her fingers through his curls. The first time she did that, they were watching a movie and his head was on her shoulder (completely natural, not strange at all when the couch is so big), and then her hand started playing with his curls, and if Liana had looked at him, she would have seen him close his eyes, and the movie no longer interested him at all. Art could have started crying at that moment. He didn't think he would ever feel her fingers in his hair again. He didn't think his head would be so close to her. He didn't think she would touch him again.

Liana lay in the bed in the guest room and couldn't fall asleep. She knows she's playing with fire, and yet, she decides to hold a lighter in her hand. The main problem with knowing that Art Donaldson wants her is the realization that landed on her two months ago—most of the time, she is... well, horny.

Coming out of a relationship with a man like Patrick Zweig comes with dead time on the schedule that was devoted only to sex. Missionary sex, sex when she sat on his lap, sex from the side, doggy-style sex—God, how she loves doggy-style sex. And she can go on for a good few minutes describing all the positions in which Patrick fucked her for-4-years non-stop. And most of the time when she thinks about it, her hand finds itself between her thighs.

And lately, she spends so much time with Art that in her mind it no longer matters. Her dreams are mixing; Sometimes Patrick fucks her, and sometimes it’s Art. Sometimes Art tells her she’s a good girl, and sometimes Patrick tells her she needs to prove to him that she’s a good girl. Sometimes it’s Tom Cruise.

A few days ago, she looked at her colleague at work, a 57-year-old man, almost bald (the keyword here is 'almost'), and wondered what size his dick was. She’s not in a good state. She has to stop hanging around with Art, but he’s been glued to her thigh for a few months now. Although at this stage, maybe she’s glued to his thigh?

It's too confusing.

He looks good, Art Donaldson. He looks too good. The worst part is that he knows he looks good. And he’s winning his stupid game with the ball and a racket, and his smug face is plastered on a billboard across from her office. How is Liana supposed to concentrate on anything other than the fact that if she closes her eyes tightly enough, she can remember the taste of his dick and how it tickled the back of her throat?!

She’s lying in the guest room bed, and he’s lying in his bed, and she wonders if his hand is gripping his dick and he’s thinking about her. She wonders if he wants her help because she can help him. She can knock on the door and ask him if he needs help and how can she assist him.

But she won’t do that because Art Donaldson comes with baggage. He comes with hurtful words and a friendship that has already been ruined once, and neither of them can afford to ruin it again. Not because of horniness. It's not even a feeling. It’s just the need for someone to do what they want with her.

Liana went down to the kitchen to get a glass of very needed cold water, and Art was there for the same purpose. His cheeks were flushed while he looked at her. He had just finished jerking off and needed a moment to compose himself. “Didn't I put you to bed an hour ago?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, unable to ignore the fact that her nipples were hard. He had to divert his gaze from her chest. Now.

“Maybe you didn't put me in the right bed,” she mumbled while pouring herself some water, not looking at him. “Sorry?” Art really thought he hadn't heard right. “Not used to your fancy mattress, Donaldson; you should have forced me to stay on the couch,” she retracted in the most sophisticated way she could manage, afraid to cross that line.

“We have a five-and-a-half-hour drive tomorrow, Lia, go to sleep,” he swallowed hard and went up to his room with the glass of water, passing her and letting his shoulder brush against hers. Art is pretty sure that if he looks at her like that for another second, he won’t be able to control himself.

"I'm just saying, if there's an option for me not to sit next to her, I'd prefer not to sit next to Tashi." "It will be the best place, Li," Art sighed. He knows what it means for her to come to his game when Tashi is sitting in the coach's seat. He knows it takes extra mental strength from her. "I don't care where I sit, Art. I'm only looking at you anyway," she rolled her eyes, causing him to look at her with a raised eyebrow. Does she really not understand what she's saying? "Only at me?" He sounded amused. "Oh, fuck off. You know what I mean. I could really not give a shit about the tennis, I came because you asked me to," she shrugged as if it were obvious while he took his bag out of the trunk.

Art couldn't stop himself, he had to drop what he was holding and hug her. It wasn't up to him in any way. It was a higher power intervening. "I’d like to breathe again, Arthur, you're choking me," she rolled her eyes and giggled. "You know I appreciate you being here, right?" he asked as he let go of her. "Yes, I know," she smiled.

They started walking through the parking lot, and Liana suddenly stopped while Art, confused, looked to see where her gaze was directed. She was looking at a particular car and walked towards it with small steps. Art quickly realized what was happening. You don't have to be a genius—the only person whose car she could recognize was Patrick Zweig’s. He was lying in the back seat, scrolling through his phone, not noticing they were approaching until Liana (shocked) knocked on his car window, causing him to jump. Art rolled his eyes.

Patrick was in shock. He looked from Liana to Art and then from Art to Liana. This wasn't how he wanted to see her again. He wanted to see her again when his shit was in order. When he had figured out life. When his tennis was focused. When he was Patrick fucking Zweig and that meant something. Not when he sometimes slept in his car.

He got out of the car slowly, wanting to die a quick death, but even that, God denied him. "Can you give us a moment?" she asked Art in her softest voice. He hated that pitying tone. He hated Art, and he hated her. "We're going to be late for check-in," he mumbled with his hand on his neck. That anxious fuck. "Four minutes, Art," she replied, leaving no room for debate. "Yeah, four minutes, Art," he couldn't stop himself from saying with a smirk on his face. "Shut the fuck up, Patrick," Liana and Art said together. In the same unamused tone. Interesting what else they do together to be so synchronized. "Four minutes, Liana," Art said and walked away, giving them privacy.

"How are you?" Liana asked, examining him. "This is a peak moment in my life, Liana, I'm really enjoying myself," he replied sarcastically. "Do you want something?" he added. "Do you sleep a lot in your car?" she asked, folding her arms under her chest, and he really wanted to tell her to go fuck herself (not Art) and go find someone else to build her self-esteem. She kicked him out of the house. Who is she to judge where he sleeps?

"You know what, Liana?" he started. "Think twice before you finish that sentence, Patrick," she recognized the tone. A tone looking for a fight. A tone that sees nothing but Patrick's need to argue. "Why, only you can ask questions that are non-of your business? Here's a question, does he fuck you?" he asked. And maybe it was a jab, but he really wanted to know, and he knew she wouldn't answer him, so he allowed himself to piss her off.

"You know what?" she sighed. "Yes, Patrick. He's been fucking me so much in the past few months that sometimes I can't walk. Who knew Art Donaldson knew how to do so many things to a girl's ass," she said, adding a smile. One that he couldn't understand if it was real or cynical. But Liana knew Patrick's love for her ass and used every bit of knowledge she had to continue torturing him.

"Good luck in the tournament. I hope you earn enough money for a hotel room, Pat," she concluded with an eye roll and walked away. Liana really wanted to ask how he was, but he was still incorrigible, and she still couldn't avoid falling into the petty arguments he started and neither of them knew how to finish.

"Are you okay?" Art looked at her as they walked together. "Ask me again in forty minutes."

"I swear I booked a room with two beds," Art said to Liana as they stared at the massive bed in the middle of the room they were staying in. They asked to switch rooms at the front desk, but it was impossible. There were no more rooms with separate beds. Why would there be? The hotel was packed with athletes and their coaches.

Art knew Tashi was behind this. He had no way to prove it, but he knew she had a hand in the fact that he and Liana would have to share a bed this weekend. On one hand, he wanted to strangle her. On the other hand, he wanted to thank her. He’d see how the situation developed and decide accordingly.

"We’re adults," Liana said, not taking her eyes off the bed. "We can share a bed, right, Art?" She added a question at the end, looking at him and raising an eyebrow. ‘Of course not,’ Art wanted to scream. ‘I can barely share a couch with you.’ "Of course, adults who can share a bed," he parroted her words, looking at her for another moment. God help him.

"Is this your doing?" he asked Tashi at the end of practice. "What?" she replied with a feigned innocence he recognized as fake. "I asked you to stop interfering. If she finds out you’re behind this, she’ll strangle you in your sleep," Art declared. He was sure of it. He was sure Liana would go to jail for Tashi Duncan’s murder. "Why would she find out something that can’t be proven? Say ‘thank you’ nicely to your coach and try to sleep at least four hours tonight, Art," she winked (shamelessly, it should be noted) and walked away, leaving Art alone with his thoughts.

When he entered the room, Liana was there. Fresh from the shower. She was sitting on the bed, fiddling with her laptop. She greeted him without looking at him too much as he headed for the shower. He considered jerking off in the shower but was afraid she might hear him, so he gave up.

Art was an adult. He could sleep next to Liana without being tempted to touch her. He wasn’t an animal. He could handle it.

"I have a question. You can totally tell me to fuck off and we’ll never talk about it again," she said as he came out of the shower shirtless and looked at her questioningly. "Talk to me, Lia," he nodded, examining her and seeing how tense she was.

Liana paced the room a bit neurotically, her leg twitching slightly, and her hand brushing her nose. "Liana, you’re giving me a headache. Just say what you want to say," he tried to remain indifferent, but he felt his heart start to race, not knowing why.

"Do you think we could be the kind of people who fuck without commitment?" She barely took a breath between words and looked at him, biting her lip.

All Art could think was; Bingo.

And then; Of course not.

Hey thereeeee, It took me a second to write. Hope you are still here and reading. Love hearing from you guys, so you're welcome to tell me what you think, as always

taglist: @soberbabes @nina357 @lamoursansfin @marley1773 @ruyaas-world @apolloscastellan @primlovesdilfs @fangirl-kimora @serenadingtigers @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @ganana @yoitsme-04 @swetearss

[shakespeareanwannabe]

As You Wish, Chapter 19

Summary: When arriving at Camp Silver Star, Abby Floyd was anticipating a summer of adventure with an ocean separating her from the three people she loved most: her mom, her Uncle Bob and her Aunt Natasha. But after a run in with Charlie Seresin, an extremely familiar looking and irritating camper in a different cabin, her summer plans take a turn that neither girl ever could have expected.

Trigger Warnings: reader's children are described as being blond with green eyes because genetics are wild and Jake's genes are strong, reader is canonically Bob's sister (but biological relation is never discussed), reader goes by Buttercup and is tattooed, angst, crying, discussions of therapy, sadness, reference to divorce, references to labour and delivery (not explicit but detailed), references to babies, swearing, references to the hospital, self-doubt and self-loathing

A/N: Surprise! I somehow got this chapter done in just a week, and it just so happens to be the last one! If the winds are with me, the epilogue should be out next Friday. But I just want to take a second and thank everyone who is read, commented, reblogged, liked. It means everything to me to get to play in this sandbox, and I really appreciate all the love!

Sharp Memorial Hospital, almost 12 years ago

“One more big push, honey. One more and then you can have a little rest!” The OBGYN urged.

“I can’t! I can’t do this!” Buttercup sobbed, head falling forward as she panted. She felt like she’d been at this for days. She hadn’t slept in over 24 hours. Everything hurt. She missed her bed. She missed the little home she lived in with Jake. She missed not being in pain.

“Shhh, Buttercup. It’s okay.” Jake soothed from his seat on a little stool right by her head.

One gesture from him and the room silenced. He’d been her rock through this whole ordeal, never once leaving her side, never complaining about not getting any sleep or how hard the couch was. He rubbed her feet and her back, fed her ice chips, snuck her a little snack because frankly the hospital’s No Eating While in Labour rule was fucking barbaric. He wasn’t about to make his wife starve herself for over a day on the off chance that she would need surgery. Without letting go of her hand, he stood and propped himself on the bed in front of her. She had opted to push on her hands and knees. Perhaps not the most dignified position, but it was the one she felt most comfortable in. Or at least, the position she had felt the most comfortable in. Honestly, she hadn’t known comfort in over 12 hours.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed quietly, squeezing his hand as another contraction rocked her body. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can.” It wasn’t Jake’s Texan drawl that comforted her now. It was Hangman’s no-nonsense voice that cut through the sleep deprivation and pain. “I know you’re scared, darlin’. I know you’re hurting. I know you want this to be over. You’ve been a fucking rockstar all fucking day and you deserve a break. Now, I’m going to come sit in front of you on the bed, okay?” Jake peeked around at the doctor to make sure it was alright before moving the pillows and sitting against the headboard. “You’re going to put your hands on my shoulders and you’re gonna squeeze so damn tight that you’re going to receive a citation for damaging military property. But you’re going to give us one more big push. Our babies need you right now. Okay?”

Buttercup couldn’t help but nod. Not when she was looking into the beautiful green eyes of the man she loved. She could do this. She could be brave and face the pain, the fear. For him. For their two beautiful babies.

Her next contraction came and went in a flurry of activity. She couldn’t remember the pain or the fear. But she could remember the nurse handing her a squirming baby girl before handing Jake the scissors and letting him cut the cord.

“Baby number 2 is on the way, but you should have a few minutes to cuddle with baby number one before you need to get back to work, mama,” Dr. Friedman smiled at the family of 3 while swapping out her gloves.

“She’s beautiful, darlin’.” Jake pressed a kiss to Buttercup’s sweat-slick forehead. “You still like her name?”

Buttercup nodded, panting heavily as she leaned against him, cradling their daughter between their bodies. “Abigail Juliet Seresin. Want to hold her?”

Jake took the tiny girl in his arms and felt something inside of himself melt. The most perfect little being in the world, and she was half him, half Buttercup. “Hey Abby,” he murmured, hearing a monitor start to beep more rapidly. “I’m your daddy. The total badass that was just holding you is your mama. And your sibling is on their way, I think, so I’m going to pass you off to this lovely nurse to hold you so I can help your mama.”

With one more big push, another flurry of activity, and a sigh of relief, their second daughter entered the world. Jake scooped Buttercup into his arms to help her settle into a more comfortable position before the nurse handed her the second squalling baby. Abby was wrapped in a light pink blanket and deposited in her father’s arms.

“Charlotte…” Buttercup murmured, limbs shaking with exhaustion. “Charlotte Delta Seresin.”

Jake couldn’t help the tear that came to his eye. “They’re perfect. You’re perfect.”

Neither were aware of what the nurses were doing around them, and they didn’t really care. Both were enamoured with their daughters. Their family.

Staring at his three girls, Jake made a vow. A vow that would supersede any he made to the military. He would do whatever it takes to be there for his family. To protect them. He would never, ever stop fighting for them.

London, England, Now

Everything had been packed into her duffle bag. Childcare had been arranged. There had even been a convenient black cab sitting outside of her house. And then…he was there.

“Jake?”

The man in question stood at her front gate, a bouquet of pink roses in one hand and a gym bag in the other. The black cab idling behind him trundled down the street as they stared at each other.

He looked as tired as she felt, and she felt the heavy press of guilt weigh down on her shoulders. She had done that to him. She had left him behind, left Charlie behind, and he had to deal with the consequences of her actions.

One hand lingering on her front gate, he offered a tentative smile. “Hey Buttercup.”

“What…” She swallowed back the emotions suddenly clogging her throat. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, it took about ten seconds for me to realize that I didn’t want you to go. I would’ve been here earlier, but organizing childcare, last-minute flights, someone to take over ranch business…” He sighed and shrugged. “It took a bit to get everything settled. But I’m here now because I realized something.” He reached over and opened the latch to her gate, swinging it open to let himself in. In two strides, he was standing at the foot of her stairs.

“What did you realize?” she murmured.

He handed her the flowers, his hand lingering to give hers a tight squeeze. “I realized that I listened to you give all sorts of reasons for why you couldn’t stay, and I gave you reasons why you could. But I never gave you the reasons why I want you to stay.”

She pulled the flowers up to her nose to give herself a moment to compose herself. Never in a million years did she think that he would follow her. Not when she was the one who left. But there he was, standing on her front stoop in London, giving her flowers and wanting to talk to her.

She sniffled. “Let’s go inside.”

Jake nodded gratefully and stepped up to stand at her back as she fumbled with unlocking the door again. “Is Abby home? I’d love to see her but this conversation…I don’t think it can wait.”

She turned her head back to look at him, so handsome in his red flannel and blue jeans. “She’s at a friend’s house. Bob dropped her off before going to work. Where’s Charlie?” Her heart ached, remembering how Charlie had refused to even meet her gaze as they had packed into the airport taxi.

“With Nat and Javy.”

She nodded and let him into the house, dropping her duffle onto the floor and guiding him into the living room. “I’m just going to get some water for these,” she murmured. “Do you want something to drink?”

Jake shook his head, staring around the room as she disappeared into the kitchen. Being in her space felt natural. Almost like he had been there before. The dark teal walls set off the walnut furniture, and he recognized a few of the paintings hanging from the walls, prints that she had mentioned over a decade ago that she loved. Photos of her family lined the mantlepiece. Most were of Buttercup and Abby, but there were some photos of Bob and Natasha as well. The whole space felt homey, lived in, in a way that he hadn’t expected. He could see why she had wanted to come back. This was a home she had built for herself. He’d be hesitant to give it up too, if he had been in her shoes.

A light clearing of the throat turned his attention back to Buttercup, standing in the doorway to the kitchen. “Do you want to sit?” She gestured to the soft suede couch, and he took a seat on one end, green eyes following her as she settled into an armchair next to him, a small side table in between them. The silence stretched between them as Buttercup picked her fingernails, staring down at her hands. Jake could only watch her, all the words he wanted to say building up in his chest.

“I’m sorry—”

“I wanted to tell you—”

Their words mixed together in a jumble until they stopped and grinned at each other, embarrassment painting their features.

“Do…do you want to go first?” Jake offered, noting the almost desperate look in her eyes.

She nodded; eyes fixed on her fingernails. “I’m sorry. I never…I mean, it wasn’t supposed to. Jake, what I’m trying to say is…” She nearly growled in frustration. “I was going to type up everything I wanted to say to you on the flight and memorize it so that this wouldn’t happen.”

“Flight? You were coming to see me?” He could feel the hope blossoming in his chest, and he fought to push it down, smother it so as to not scare her off.

“I…” she blushed. “Yeah. I wanted to talk to you. How I left…it wasn’t fair. To you or Charlie or Abby. I wanted to clear the air…maybe, try to fix things. If you wanted to.”

A small grin tugged at the corners of his lips. “Yeah. Yeah, I want to.”

Her responding smile was a weak, nervous thing, and he reached out his hand to grasp hers. “I’m sorry, too.” She opened her mouth to argue, but he squeezed her hand, silently urging her to let him speak. “I probably shouldn’t have taken you to bed that night. Not because I didn’t want to. God, I wanted to. I’d basically been white knuckling it since I dove into that hotel pool after you, and when you told me to kiss you, I kinda lost my grip.”

“You lost your grip?” Her voice was incredulous, and he grinned in response.

“You’ve always been able to knock me off my game, Buttercup. It’s one of the things I love most about you.” He smiled at her, squeezing her hand as she blushed. “But I should’ve known what that would do to you, to us. Especially since we didn’t get a chance to talk about it and what it meant.”

She nodded, tilting her head to look at him. “What…what did it mean?”

He huffed a sigh, leaning his head back against the suede sofa. “Jesus, Buttercup…it meant everything to me. Holding you again, feeling you again…” He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. “It felt like things were finally back to normal. I woke up with you in my arms again after almost 12 years. I got to kiss your cheek that morning as I snuck out of bed to make our family breakfast. I got to hang out with both my daughters. We were planning a full day of fun family activities, and it felt so fucking domestic that the Jake from 15 years ago probably would’ve punched me in the dick for being so soft.” He grinned at the soft rasp of her chuckle. “And yeah, I was pretty pissed off when you told me you were leaving. I saw my daughter hurting and I was hurting, and I lashed out at you.”

“I deserved it.”

He was already shaking his head before she could get the words out. “Not like that, you didn’t. I basically told you the same shit I did 12 years ago when you told me you wanted to take the job out here. I didn’t listen to you. And looking at this place, who can blame you for wanting to come back?” He looked around again, wishing the walls could talk. Wishing they would tell him stories of the 12 years he missed out on because he was such a stubborn prick. “You built a life for yourself and Abby out here. You should be proud.”

“And you should hate me.” Her words, gasped out through a sob, brought his attention back to her like a shot. “I abandoned you again. I couldn’t keep my shit together long enough to have a real, adult conversation with you because I was so fucking scared that, if I did, I would stay. We would stay and things would be so fucking good between us, because they were also so fucking good between us, and then the other shoe would drop and I would end up hurt again, except this time Abby would choose you because I’m the monster who keeps fucking up, so I would end up all alone, and I’ve worked so hard to be okay with being alone but I don’t think I would be able to recover from being with you again.” Hot tears streaked down her cheeks, her breaths coming out in heavy pants as she tried to catch her breath. “And I was so damn scared of being vulnerable with you, but it was so damn easy to fall back in step beside you. The dinner, and the football game, and the party, and all these little moments where I found myself slipping, found myself having to remind myself that we weren’t married anymore, and it was scary.” She mopped at her eyes with the sleeves of her oversized sweater and sniffled. “I like who I am better when I’m with you. The scary things aren’t so scary when you’re by my side.” Her admission was so quiet that he had to lean in to hear her. “But needing you like that? I knew it would only hurt me more if I let myself need you again and lost you anyway.”

“You’re not going to lose me again,” he murmured, thumb tracing small circles on the back of her hand.

“You don’t know that.”

“What I know…” He tugged her hand so that she turned to face him. “What I know is that I’m going to fight for you, fight to keep you in my life again. Because I like who I am better when I’m with you too. I’m less of a condescending prick when you’re around. I don’t take stupid, unnecessary risks when I know that I’ve got you to go home to. I don’t…” He cleared his throat, ready to admit the one thing he had never spoken aloud to anyone, not even his therapist. “I don’t feel the pull to get back in the air when I know that the best thing in my life is on the ground. I just never realized that until I lost you.” With another tug at her hand, he pulled her onto the couch beside him. “I told you that I gave you all sorts of reasons why you could stay, but I never told you why I wanted you to stay.” He raised a hand to brush the tears from her watery eyes, broad palm cupping her cheek. “I want you to stay because of how warm and happy the house feels when you’re in it. I want you to stay because of how much lighter Charlie is with you in her life. I want you to stay because you make Rooster less of a miserable dick.” Her snort of laughter made him paused, heart warming at the sound. “I want you to stay because my life hasn’t been the same since you walked out of our home that night, divorce papers signed on the kitchen table with your wedding ring on top.” His thumb skimmed across her cheekbone, and he let those words that were burning in his chest escape. “I want you to stay because I love you and I want to give us another chance.”

Buttercup crumpled into his chest, Jake’s arms going around her to hold her close as the words sank in. He felt safe and warm. He felt like home.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Jake only moved to go get Buttercup a glass of water from her kitchen. That had been another peek into her life here. The walls were a light burgundy, cabinets a light grey with silver fixtures and appliances. When he returned, he pressed the glass into her hand before allowing her to curl up into him again, her tears starting to clear.

“How don’t you hate me? I hate me.” Her quiet, ragged voice broke their silence.

“I think maybe that’s the problem,” he murmured, pressing a quiet kiss to her hair. “I never hated you. I tried to, but the more I tried, the less I hated you. It was like…by trying to rationalize hating you, I ended up playing Devil’s advocate for why you left.” He chuckled quietly. “I kept coming to your defence against myself. I guess I just don’t have it in me to hate you. But you…” His firm but gentle hand traced her cheek before tipping her chin up to meet his gaze. “You’ve always been harder on yourself than anyone around you. And I get that. I practically invented that. Part of what made me fall in love with you is that you have the same drive to be perfect, to be the best at everything. That’s what made me the best at Top Gun. That’s what’s made you an award-winning author and a fucking incredible mother. When you got sick, I think maybe you kept blaming yourself for it not being perfect, which only made it worse?”

Buttercup nodded against his fingers on her chin and sighed. “My therapist and I talked about it a lot. I’ve been working on letting go of trying to be perfect, but it’s hard to reconcile with. I did a lot of damage.”

“So did I,” Jake murmured back. “I was basically a team pariah before you came along and turned me into a half decent human being. And maybe if I had admitted to someone—to Mav or Penny or my grandfather—that we needed help, that we were struggling, then maybe I could’ve gotten us both help before divorce became the only option. But living in Texas, having my grandfather around, it really helped. When I was struggling, he told me that I had to work on forgiving myself for letting us fall apart. It took a long time, longer than it should have.” He chuckled morosely and ran a hand over his hair. “Mav always used to tell us that we couldn’t afford to think in the cockpit. That we had to act on instinct and not get caught up in our mistakes. Letting you go, getting divorced? Those are the mistakes that I could never move past. Maybe because I knew I needed to fix them? I don’t know. But I was finally able to forgive myself for the part that I played. And this isn’t going to work if you don’t do the same.”

Fresh tears spilled over Buttercup’s cheeks. “But what if we do try again and it doesn’t work?”

“What if it does work?” He tugged her close and brushed away her tears. “What if it does work and it ends up being incredible?” He pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, reveling in the way she melted against him at the simple touch. “Don’t you think it’s worth it to try?”

Lips trembling, Buttercup met Jake’s green gaze. “You’re worth it,” she whispered through her tears. “You always have been. I just don’t want to hurt you again.”

“You won’t.” Jake’s soft, Texan drawl brooked no argument. “We’ve worked through our crap. We know what to look out for. We know how to communicate better than we did before. And we’ve got a whole team behind us who want us to succeed.” He smiled down at her, so soft and full of love that the last of Buttercup’s defences melted away. “I love you, Buttercup. I always have and I always will. I know we’ve got a ton of logistical bullshit to figure out, like where to live and—”

“Actually—” Buttercup cut him off with a small, sheepish grin. “I might have talked to my company before you got here.”

Jake went impossibly still. “You did?”

She shrugged shyly. “Bob made a good point. I’m the one with the awards, I’m the one with my name on the covers of the books. I should be the one in charge. So…I pointed that out to them. And after a few ultimatums and making one of the lawyers cry, we were able to come to an agreement.” The hope in Jake’s eyes made her chest ache. She reached out and trailed a soft hand over his cheek. “I might have to keep some strange hours, and I need to come back for in-person meetings once a quarter, but otherwise…they’re alright with me working from home. In Texas.”

Jake’s responding whoop of excitement had her covering her ears for all of a second before he scooped her off the couch and spun her around.

“Whoa, whoa, easy cowboy!” Buttercup laughed, hands on his broad chest to steady herself.

“You’re sure this is okay with you?” Jake breathed; face so close to hers that his breath fanned over her.

“I…I want to try again.” Buttercup teared up as she said the words, but she knew them to be true. The truest words she had ever spoken. “I love you, Jake Seresin. I don’t think I ever stopped. And I want to move to Texas to try this again with you.”

Jake’s smile was more brilliant than the Sun. “As you wish, Buttercup.”

Buttercup launched herself into his arms, the arms that had held her and kept her safe for so long, as she heard a key jangle in the door.

“Mum?”

“Abby, darling, I told you. Your mother has gone on a little trip. She will be back soon.” Genevieve’s lilting voice held no admonishment, only reminder.

“We’re in here,” Buttercup called through a laugh, head buried in Jake’s chest.

“Mum?” She could hear Abby coming closer. “Did you miss your flight? Where were you go—DAD!” Not willing to let go of his Buttercup, Jake extended an arm and wrapped Abby up into their embrace. “What are you doing here? Where’s Charlie? What’s going on? Mum, why are you crying?”

Buttercup gently soothed her through her tears, a bright smile on her face. “Shh, babe. It’s alright. I was going to go back to Texas to talk things through with your father, but he beat me here. And…” She smiled brightly at Jake. “I think we came to a solution that will make everyone happy.”

“Oh, that is wonderful news!” Genevieve cooed from her place in the doorway.

Jake turned to smile at her and stilled. “Buttercup?”

“Yeah?”

“Why is a French supermodel standing in your living room?”

The three ladies laughed at Jake’s astonished face. “You must be Jake Seresin. I have heard so much about you from Robert.” Genevieve extended one perfectly manicured hand out and he shook it dazedly.

“Robert?”

“Did I hear my name?” Bob’s voice called from the front door. A few steps brought him to the living room, where he wrapped an arm around Genevieve’s shoulders. “Hi sweetheart.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek and Jake’s mouth dropped even further.

“Bonjour, mon amour.”

Jake tilted his head to whisper in Buttercup’s ear. “Your brother is dating a French supermodel?”

Before she could do more than giggle, Buttercup heard her front door open again.

“You know, y’all should really change the locks after someone moves out.” Natasha’s voice boomed through the house. “I know it’s only been like two days but c’mon.”

Buttercup’s head whipped towards Jake. “I thought you said Charlie was with Nat and Javy?”

He grinned, so cocky and self-assured. “I did. I just never said where Charlie, Nat and Javy were.” He pressed a small kiss to her cheek. “You didn’t think that I would fly across an ocean to visit my wife and leave our daughter home alone, did you?”

Buttercup flushed because, well, that’s exactly what she had been planning to do.

“We’re in here!” Abby shouted, practically vibrating with excitement.

Charlie bounded around the corner and, without hesitation, launched herself at her mother. “I’m sorry!” she cried. “I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye!”

Gasping for breath, Buttercup wrapped her arms around her daughter and squeezed. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m the one who is so sorry. I shouldn’t have left. I was scared.”

Charlie nuzzled into her mother’s chest. “Scared?”

“Yeah, honey.” Buttercup reached out an arm and pulled Abby close too. “But I’m not anymore. Your dad and I talked, and he helped me realize that I can’t let my fears rule my life. It’s not fair to anyone.”

“And what does that mean?” Bob asked, one hand resting on Genevieve’s back. He reached over to hug Natasha close as she came further into the house, Javy in tow.

“Yeah, I’d like to know that myself.” Nat cocked an eyebrow at her.

“It means…” She smiled over at Jake, who couldn’t help himself. He pressed a slow, sweet kiss to her lips, feeling everything in his life click into place, like the puzzle that was his life was finally complete. “It means that we’re going home. We have a lot of work to do, and it might not be perfect, but it’s worth it. We are worth it.”

Tags List: @jessicab1991

@waltermis

@buckysteveloki-me

@allepaula

@yuckosworld

@bradshawssugarbaby

@ahopelessromanticwritersworld

@kim-stark

@high-speed-r

@starsrfun

@tomanyfandomstrash

@averyhotchner

@the-blueatlas

@dashes-dizzydisaster

@a-girl-who-loves-disney

@boiolay

@djs8891

@tgmreader

@kmc1989

@landpiranha-blog

@sydthekid1518

@lynnevanss

@mackenzieblair

@minejungwoo

@starset21

@lewglengirly

@dempy

@lovemarvelousfics

@starkleila

@magical-spit

@whatislovevavy

@simplyreading96

@vivalas-vega

@itsdesiree86

@inky-sun

@books-are-escapes

@abaker74

@devil-angel-winchester

@mrs-perfectly-fine

@inthestars-underthesun

@smoothdogsgirl

@rintheemolion

[strniohoeee]

Abscond Pt. 2

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N returns back home after living in Arizona for five years. When she’s reunited with the triplets will her feelings still be there for Matt, or will she move on? Does Matt have a girlfriend or does he still like Y/N??🫂

Warnings⚠️: None!! Hope you enjoyed this one! And read Part 1 if you haven’t already🖤

Song for the imagine: For the First Time- Mac DeMarco

It’s just like seeing her for the first

Time again

“When the fuck did you get back?” Matt said walking over to me and pulling me into a big hug

“A few hours ago” I said hugging him harder

“This is a fucking dream” Nick said still shocked

Matt pulled away and Nick gave me the biggest huge

“We missed you so fucking much” Chris said giving me a hug after Nick

“I missed yall so fucking much too, like I’m so glad I’m back home” I said pulling away from the hug

“Are you here for good?” Nick asked

“Yeah! I’m back for good. I left my dad….I had to that place was a hellhole” I said shaking my head

“I bet. When the first holidays rolled around and you didn’t show we were like okay maybe she’s doing it with her dad, but once it was the second holiday and then the third and the fourth. That’s when we knew” Nick said

“That guy kept me locked away from everything and everyone” I said letting out a breath of air

“I just can’t get over the fact that you’re back” Matt said looking at me

“I can’t either….man five years just like that” I said snapping my finger

“Five years is insane” Chris said

“You know actually I found the uh the Polaroids from the night I last saw you guys” I said looking at them

“The Polaroids of us?” Matt asked

“Yup, they fell out of my bag, and somehow landed under my bed….all these years I swore my dad found them and tore them up, but no” I said laughing a little bit

“Insane” he said laughing and looking down

“We’ll leave you guys to catch up” their mom said, and her and Jimmy walked out the kitchen

“Congrats on the fame. It’s crazy never would I have thought yall would be social media influencers” I said smiling

“Thank you. It’s something we picked up junior year right after you left” Chris said

“And honestly we never expected to get as popular as we did” Nick said

“Yall deserve it! You guys are so genuine and amazing” I said smiling

“Thank you” Matt said smiling at me

“Well tell us about Arizona” Chris said sitting across from me

“There’s nothing to tell really, I finished school there and I went to college for three years, but uh I just dropped out. It wasn’t something I wanted to do. I felt like I was living my life for my dad, and not me” I said

“Make any friends?” Chris asked me

“Honestly no….people were kind of turned off by me…I talked to some people here and there, but friends” I said shrugging my shoulders

“Bullshit! You were too cool for them anyways” Nick said rolling his eyes

“I was just so glad to get out of there and get away from my dad and his weird bitchy girlfriend” I said

“Didn’t like step mommy?” Nick asked laughing

“Ew you weirdo! No I didn’t” I said laughing

“So tell us more” Matt said looking at me

“That’s literally it” I said

“What??? No parties, no boyfriends, no nothing?” Chris asked

“Mm there was this one boy” I said rolling my eyes

Matt's body language shifted at that

“Do tell” Nick said

“Well he was coworker at one of my jobs, that was my first mistake” I said laughing

“Boyfriend or just like a boy toy?” Chris asked wiggling his eyebrows

“I don’t even know to be honest. Like one minute he wanted to be with me and then the next he didn’t? I wasted a whole year on his ass” I said rolling my eyes

“A year?” Matt said raising his eyebrow

“Yeah….from 19 to 20. Worse time honestly. He was talking to other girls. He like deleted everything off his phone, but one day left his Apple Watch home, and I looked at it, and there was a fucking Tinder code that was sent from the night before” I said laughing

“Oh god” Nick said

“Honestly good riddance I was never more happy to leave someone” I said

“Enough about me what about you guys” I said

“Well honestly we’ve just been focusing on our YouTube career, and we live part time here and part time in LA” Matt said

“Ouu nice sounds like fun” I said

“Oh it is. It’s amazing the amount of people who support us. It’s a blessing really” Matt said

“What about the dating scene for you guys?” I asked

“Mmm just a bunch of dead end talking stages” Nick said

“Oh what? That sucks yall are amazing, anybody is lucky to have you guys” I said

“Most people just want to use us” Chris said shrugging his shoulders

“Ew shallow” I said making a face

“Very” Matt responded

“Um I wasn’t sure if you guys wanted to hang over at my house” I said offering

“That would be so much fun, we haven’t been there in five years” Chris said

“Come on then” I said hopping off the chair

We left and walked over to my house. My mom was sleeping on the couch with one of her reality tv shows playing

“We can go to my room, but beware it’s still the same from when I was 16. I’m just starting to fix it” I said looking at them

“Oh that’s like a time capsule” Nick said

“It sure is” I said laughing and walking up the stairs

We got into my room, Nick and Chris immediately sitting on my bed. Matt was kind of looking around

“So many memories in here” he said out loud

“Woahhhh” Chris said laughing

“Not like that you weirdo fuck” Matt said laughing

My mom must’ve placed my Polaroids back on my vanity because Matt picked them up

“Oh god I look horrible” he said laughing

“No you don’t! We were 16 what did you expect” I said laughing

“You look the same” he said

“Oh god….I was ugly at 16” I said looking at matt

“Well no obviously you got older, but I don’t know your smiles still the same, and you still have that shine in your eyes” he said smiling and putting the Polaroids down

“I’m shocked after being with my dad for so long” I said laughing

Matt sat down on my bed along with his brothers as I decided to try and clear out some more things

“I hope you don’t mind I’m clearing some stuff out” I said looking at them

“No do your thing” Matt said

I was bent over picking something up when my shirt lifted a little bit

“IS THAT A FUCKING TATTOO” Nick yelled

Flashback

“I don’t like tattoos….I don’t know I feel like why cover your body you know” I said sitting with the three boys

“I think they’re cool, you can express yourself that way” Nick said

“You can express yourself other ways too instead of covering your skin” I said

“I’m sure I’ll be tatted up by the time I’m 20” Matt said

“You better not” I said looking at him

“You’ll never get a tattoo?” Chris asked me

“No never… I don’t like them” I said shaking my head

“Yeah right! I bet when you’re 20 you’ll be covered in tattoos” Chris said scoffing

“Will not!” I said smacking him

“Y/N I KNOW YOU! I promise you, you will” he said rolling his eyes at me

Flashback Over

“Uhhh” I said turning around and looking at them

“The queen of don’t cover your body! I fucking called it” Chris said in a mocking voice

“Oh shut up people change” I said rolling my eyes

“Never expected you to get one” Matt said looking at me

“Mmmm hate to break it to you, but I’m covered in tattoos” I said laughing

“Shut up!” Nick said

I took off my long sleeve sweater to expose my arms, uppper back and collarbone areas peppered with patchwork pieces

“Yoooo whatttt” Chris said getting up to look at my tattoos

“I know…I was such a hypocrite” I said laughing

“Those are nice as fuck” Matt said looking at my arms

“Thanks! That’s actually something that helped me a lot in Arizona. Being able to express myself through art on my skin” I said

“I told you” Nick said

“I knowwww” I said rolling my eyes

They were at my house for a while before Chris and Nick decided to head home, but Matt and I were so deep in convo he decided to stay

“I feel like we never separated. Like it’s crazy how we can just pick back up where we left off” I said to Matt

“I know right. Such a comforting feeling” he said

“It is, I never had anything like you guys in Arizona” I said

“Yeah when you left…it just wasn’t the same at all” he said back

“Yeah those first 6 months were so hard for me” I said shaking my head

“Yeah me too. I just couldn’t stop thinking about you” he said staring at me

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I mean I never really stopped thinking about you” I responded

“I didn’t either. Most nights I would lay awake wondering how you were doing, what you were doing, who your friends were….if you had a new boyfriend” He said laughing lightly

“I wondered too….about if you had a new girlfriend” I said looking at him

“I tried, but nobody was ever you” he said lowly

“I think that was my issue too, I looked for you in every guy” I said giving him a half smile

“As did I with every girl” he said

“Did umm…did those feelings ever go away?” I asked looking at him

“Umm eventually they did after a good year and a half, but you were always at the back of my mind” he said

“You were always at the back of my mind too” I said

“Seeing you today…it uh it brought back all those memories” he said fidgeting with his hands

“Good ones I hope” I said smiling

“Always good ones” he said looking at me again

“It was like seeing you for the first time again” he said swallowing deeply

“Did you feel anything?” I asked him

“I felt whole again, I felt butterflies like I always would when I saw you” he said looking down

“Matt you haven’t changed one bit, such a sweet lover boy” I said smiling at him

“Did umm did you feel anything?” He asked me

“I did…..I felt 16 again…..it took me back to that night we laid in the field and you told me you loved me, and how complete I felt” I said smiling at him

“That was my favorite night” he said smiling back at me

“I missed you” I said to him

“I missed you too” he said back

We looked at each other while we let the silence engulf us. Matt was so beautiful, he had an amazing soul and a kind personality. To say I was still in love with Matt would be an understatement. I have never wanted to freeze a moment more than now…

Matt and I both started to lean in mindlessly…letting the moment get to us. Staring into each other's eyes, our hands getting sweaty, our hearts beating out of our chest. All like we were 16 again…..but we weren’t. So I pulled away

“I uhhh wow I didn’t realize how late it is” I said looking at the clock on my nightstand

“Oh yeah! And you’re probably tired from traveling. I’ll head out and uhh maybe we can hangout tomorrow?” He asked awkwardly getting off the bed

“Uhh yeah that would be great” I said also getting off the bed

“Well um goodnight” he said nodding his head

“Good night” I said smiling at him

He looked at me for a moment in silence

“Oh uh I’ll walk you out” I said

“Ummm yeah sure” he said

God why was this so awkward? He almost kissed me, and I backed away, and was making it horribly awkward for him. Did I want to kiss him? I mean I did…but I couldn’t right? Or could I?

As I was fighting in my own head Matt and I walked down the stairs and to my front door.

I can’t just let him walk out right? Why did I pull away? This was all I ever wanted? For five years I wanted nothing more than to lay in his arms and kiss him. Matt was my everything….what am I doing?

Matt opened my front door, and began to walk out

“Uhh Matt?” I asked shyly, mentally smacking myself

He turned around quickly his eyes lighting up

“Yeah Y/N?” He said smiling

“Uhh it was great to see you” I said awkwardly

“It was great to see you too” he said laughing

“Well uhh goodnight” I said

“Goodnight” he said waving at me

He turned back around and got down to my first step. MAKE A MOVE my head screamed at me

“Wait uhh Matt” I said again reaching out for him

“Yeah?” He said turning around again smiling

“I ummm I love your new look” I said, y/n WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

The love of my life is standing in front of me, and I’m acting like a shy school girl. I didn’t even act like this at 16. What is wrong with me

“Thank you, I like your new look too” he said giving me a funny look and smiling, and heading to turn back and walk down the steps

Y/N MAKE A FUCKING MOVE NOW, my brain screamed at me

“Matt” I said again

“Yes Y/N” he said turning to me slightly annoyed

I looked at him for a split moment reading his eyes, my heart pounding out of my chest, kiss him or tell him another stupid thing and have him walk away. Uhh fuck it

I walked out my front door, and pulled him in by his jacket smashing our lips together. In a beautiful long awaited kiss….a kiss that could solve every problem in my life. A kiss that could make time stop and heal all the world's problems. This was a kiss I’ve been needing for the last five years.

I pulled away both of us out of breath and looking into each others eyes

“I uh…sorry I don’t know what took over me” I said in a whisper backing away slightly

“Don’t apologize” he said looking into my eyes before reconnecting our lips again, his hands on my cheeks kissing me so lovingly. This was a hallmark movie type of kiss

Pulling away we looked into each others eyes again smiling now

“Fuck I’ve missed you” I said taking a deep breath

“I’ve missed you too” he said looking into my eyes

We pulled away from each other before he waved and started to walk towards his house

“Have a good night” I said to him

“You too” he responded

“Hey Matt!” I yelled

“Yeah?” He said looking at me

“Pick up your pants” I said giggling

He looked at me and laughing shaking his head

“Matt” I yelled out again

“Yes Y/N” he said in a sing song way

“I hate that jacket on you by the way” I said

He laughed “yeah I love you too have a good night” he said before getting across the street to his house

I smiled at him and waved good night before walking into my house and shutting the door. Smiling to myself and laughing

I felt 16 again….

The End

Hiii okay guys I hope you liked this one🥹🥹 I think I have some more ideas, but I’m not too sure😭😭. I’ll cook something up don’t worry 🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[accio-victuuri]

follow up clowning related to gg’s weibo post from here. a reminder first that i don’t think everything has to mean something and most of the time what they post is just plain and simple. we are clowns, so we will speculate but that doesn’t mean we have to find some candy for every content they post before we can enjoy & appreciate it. for example, we also think that the reason GG is doing these solar terms right now, while he is filming LoZ is in the synopsis of the drama, his character is the son of the “director of the Imperial Observatory of the Great Yong Kingdom” , that’s the english translation. but the key here in the original text is this word: 钦天监 [qīn tiān jiàn].

what is it? thank you to good old baidu for always having the answer:

Qin Tianjian is the signature of an official whose function is to observe celestial phenomena, calculate solar terms, and formulate calendars.

calculating solar terms. so that could be the connection he is hinting at that is somehow significant to the character he is playing. makes sense right?

this is not me washing anyone’s candy. i’m only laying out alternative explanations cause that’s how i do things. lol. the addition i have seen going around is kadian related and i’m not a kadian girlie so i was blocking it out when i first saw it. 😅😅😅

okay, now let’s go to the cpn. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

the post he made is his 1085th on weibo. oh what a good number, like a mashup between their birthdays. and the kadian that was used 191919. which means still still still. or you can concentrate on the repeated use of the number 999 ( In Chinese, nine is pronounced jiu, which also means “long lasting.” As the highest single digit, it represents the maximum level of mortal happiness, longevity, and good luck. A perfect ten is reserved for the gods. Case in point: in respect to the Heavens, the Forbidden City in Beijing has 9999.5 rooms, just short of a flawless 10,000. )

who is saying still too? forever with who? wang yibo. based on my first post about it, his use of that word 谷雨 that also came up in LTS lyrics.

another coincidence is that in the song itself, the word comes up in the 0:19 mark. 👀

commemorating the anniversary of when he followed yibo on weibo, 4/20/2018 so he posted on the eve of that day. maybe he is celebrating something else that only the two of them know and it’s not necessarily something as mundane as following a person on weibo. who knows. however, it’s on the bxg calendar so we are marking that down as a possible reason. 📝

i love this explanation tho, that goes back to that actual day years ago and what happened. it was the 5th day of filming CQL and they did not have scenes together, so why did he pay attention and followed him? he was filming the scene in the burial mounds, WWX was drunk and reminiscing about when he first met LWJ. WWX misses LWJ cause he is not there. Was XZ also missing WYB that time? to the point that he went to his weibo account and followed him?

it’s not a secret that XZ prefers it when WYB is there, not only to act with, but just there for him. plus this level of attachment on the 5th day of filming is not surprising when it comes to them.

finally, the imagery of the rain when it comes to them is one that holds some meaning. much like how we fixate on the stars and moon. photos below to show some of those relations to the rain. ☔️

and that lrlg conversation they had that went:

XZ: "I'm waiting for you"

WYB: "I'll come and have dinner with you when it rains”

XZ: "Tomorrow's meal"

WYB: "Then tomorrow"

before we end, i’ll add this quote that seems to fit the whole subject of rain:

"Because it rains so often, many important things in life seem to have happened in the rain. Those memories are now uncovered and still feel wet. Even if they dry, they are like a book soaked in water, with ripples on the paper that are difficult to calm down."

sources aside from the ones directly linked: one / two / three / four 💛

[satorusplayplace]

he’s back…

SPOILERS FOR JJK MANGA (221 especially!)

☆ pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader

☆ content warning(s): JJK SPOILERS CH 221, gojo is unsealed, angst to fluff, reader is so whipped for gojo, gojo is whipped too, lovesick! gojo, i don’t know if it was still 19 days that gojo was sealed…, gojo goes crazy!!, a little altering of the new chapter…! UNEDITED and a little rushed sorry!

☆ summary: 19 days of sleeping alone, 19 days without her one and only lover, 19 days of not being able to kiss him goodnight, 19 days of pain, 19 days of not being able to say “i love you toru.” one more time, 19 days of not seeing that white hair and those adorable puppy eyes.

☆ A/N: i’m honestly like so happy that gojo is unsealed because i’ve been WAITING for this moment. like i’m just so happy bru. missed my pookie :[. lowk should write gojo w an adhd girlfriend fr. this is probs super self indulgent too.

☆ please check my pinned post for request info on the link saying rules! requests are open! characters i write for are also there :) check it out!

it’s been 19 days since gojo satoru has been sealed. his girlfriend, who was going to be his fiancée, is stuck at their shared home. she was hidden from the jujutsu world. gojo didn’t want anyone trying to attack his future wife. the woman of his dreams, the woman who knows how to understand him. shoko, the other best friend of gojo satoru, took it upon herself to see you, as nanami passed away…

“y/n?” she yells out when knocking on your door. you just woke up twenty minutes ago when you get to the door, shoko saw how you looked.

your hair was a mess, though still was being washed yet no effort put into it. your eyes were puffy and you had terrible eye bags. shoko just hugged you and you broke down in her arms.

“shoko, it’s only been 19 days and yet i still am like this, i thought i’d be better than this. i knew it would happen one day yet why am i a mess?” you knew that it was a little stupid of you to be such a mess when it’s been only 19 days he was gone but you and satoru have been together for 5 years. yet, him being away and not knowing when he was coming back was scary. sure, he went on overseas missions for three months before, but you had contact with him, you can call and text him and still say “i love you toru” yet now you can’t.

“y/n, it’s okay. he will be unsealed. we have a plan in check. we are starting the process now, i just needed to see you and let you know what’s happening. i’ll have yuuji come to protect you right now, you’re not going to be safe alone forever.” shoko says, she gives you one last hug before yuuji appears behind her.

“y/n.” he says and just hugs you. you hugged him back while tears fell down. he didn’t smile at all, gojo being sealed took away this precious boy’s smile. you cupped yuuji’s cheeks. “i’m sorry yuuji. i’m so sorry. you deserve much better my love.” yuuji just hugged you tighter. you waved bye to shoko and closed the door. yuuji was still clinging onto you as you tried to walk to the couch.

“i’m sorry y/n. i wasn’t strong enough.” you looked at the boy, he was getting anxious and couldn’t read your expression. “yuuji, you’re strong. you’re just a kid hon, i can’t blame you. i blame the cursed world we live in, especially because now you’re a jujutsu sorcerer. yuuji, you deserved better than this world. i promise you.” yuuji and you both hugged and you told him to watch a show on the TV, while you made food.

as you were finishing up, yuuji and you both felt a little earthquake though yuuji knew it wasn’t an earthquake but gojo being unsealed.

yuuji just stayed with you and when you served him, he was happy. though, he thought about how you were feeling since your fiancé was sealed in a box without any communication for almost three weeks straight.

you just smiled at him while you waited for the pans to cool down. you served yourself as well and ate right next to your fiancé’s student. you messed with yuuji’s hair and said, “you know, you need to smile more yuuji. i love being around. you’re such a kind boy. i hope you grow old and have a family, live life as well as you can.” yuuji looked at you and then finally smiled, “yeah. i’ll try to promise you that.”

you smiled at him when all of a sudden, your front door was opening… yuuji got in front of you but when the door was fully open, you ran towards the man full speed.

“s-satoru? you’re back? y-you’re here?” you had tears coming out of your eyes. he smirked, “i didn’t know i was walking in on my girlfriend cheating on me with my student!” he grabbed his chest acting like it hurt. you hit his arm and immediately hugged him.

“yuuji, were you protecting my pretty girl for me?” he asked teasingly. yuuji nods and then you let go of your boyfriend. gojo hugs yuuji and whispers something in his ear. yuuji just looked back at you and smiled.

“you know, we’ve missed you satoru. the strongest man alive is back and yet i didn’t get my kiss. 19 days without you satoru gojo. 19 days with your kiss, your voice, your stupid little kid of a personality, your touch. do you know how insane i’m going right now? you’re so lucky i know how to control myself.” you say to him and yuuji waves goodbye while leaving and closing the door. gojo just stares back at you and looks at you, “oh baby, i know. i was stuck in that box and my mind went insane. felt like years i was waiting. couldn’t even sleep it off.”

you went to kiss him and he pulled you in. this kiss wasn’t lust, it was just pure love, saying all kinds of things, “be safe”, “i love you so much”, “i missed you”, “stay with me”, “don’t leave”, and it was just gojo knowing he had to make you his more officially. he slyly puts the ring that was still in his pocket onto your left hand. “mine.” he says after pulling away from you and you looked down to see the ring.

“i don’t care. we’re getting married even if it’s a quiet one. we are marrying each other.” he says that so seriously and quietly. you wonder how he feels.

“let’s go to bed.” you say and he follows behind you. you stopped caring for the dishes in the sink as soon as you saw your beloved boyfriend. when you both laid down on the bed, you couldn’t help but move closer to him until his arms were wrapped around you and you just nuzzled into his chest.

“i love you ‘toru.”

“i love you more pretty.”

[becholeforever]

Forbidden Fruit

Pairing: Milf!/Neighbor Wanda Maximoff x CollegeFemReader

Word Count: 991

Warnings: Kind of smut? Dirty thoughts, undressing, forbidden love, getting caught, older neighbor, both characters are of age (reader is 19 and Wanda is in her late 30s) not proofread

Summary: You're just trying to get through college but cannot stop thinking about you're Milf neighbor. What happens when she finally decides to make the first move?

-----------------

You let out a sigh of relief as Wanda’s hand slowly descends from your chest to your clothed center 

Waiting for the sensation of her soft fingers rubbing your bundle of nerves you close your eyes in satisfaction as she makes the connection while sucking on your neck 

“Mommy’s gonna make you feel so good” she says against your neck 

“Please do” you moan out and she smirks against your neck

Your eyes snap open when the bell rings and you notice everyone packing up and leaving the classroom 

You notice your professor staring at you with an upset look on her face, which is odd because professor Romanoff is one of the nicest professors you’ve ever had. Sure she’s strict but she has a soft spot for you, she cares for you in a motherly way. 

You start to feel guilty as you descend towards her, feeling like you are the reason she looks so upset. 

“Are you alright y/n?” She asks as you approach her desk

“Of course, why do you ask?”

“Well I’ve noticed you’ve been out of it for the past few days.” She says concerned 

“Yeah” You say sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck “I’ve had some things on my mind but I’m ok” You state with a small smile 

“Well I just want you to know that I care about you and if you need anything let me know” 

“I will professor” You say smiling 

“now go enjoy your weekend” she states smiling 

“I will” you say as you grab your stuff and walk out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you turn onto your street you feel your heart leap when you notice your neighbor Wanda out on her front lawn watering her plants.

You’ve had a crush on your neighbor ever since you and your mother moved next door to her after your parents divorce three years ago.

She’s a smart and independent woman that you just could not take your eyes off of ever since you saw her. 

You pull into the driveway and step out of the car when you look over and see Wanda smiling at you. You give her a smile back and start making your way towards the front door 

“Have a good day at school today y/n?” She asks making you stop and turn towards her

“I guess you could say that Mrs. Maximoff.” 

There was only one thing you hated about Wanda Maximoff and that was her husband Vision.

You loathed the man and you knew he wasn’t good enough for the goddess he calls his wife.

But there wasn’t much you could do about it. They have been married for 10 years and while you believe that he cheats on her you have no actual proof to back it up.  

“Well, I hope you enjoy your weekend sweetheart.” 

“I’ll try” You say sheepishly as your eyes cascade down the women's physique 

You only notice that you’re staring too long when you look back up and see her staring at you smirking.

“I should probably go inside now.” you say rubbing your neck and staring down at the ground. Suddenly finding the concrete very interesting.

“Okay, enjoy the rest of your day darling.” She smiles as she continues to water her plants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You enter your home swiftly and say hi to your mom as you make your way upstairs to your room. As you pass by the front hallway window you stop to stare at the woman you admire so much as she starts to put her equipment away. 

You watch as she bends down away from you almost on purpose giving you the chance to admire the curve of her ass. Imaging the way it would feel in your hands, the way you could smack it so easily and imagine the moan the older woman would release. You break from the image when you look back up and notice Wanda’s eyes boring into yours, eyes widening as you bolt from the window to your room. Not noticing the smirk on the older woman's face as she makes her way inside. 

Inside your room, you try to take your mind off of the recent events by drawing in your journal. It doesn’t help though as your mind continues to drift to your milf neighbor. Just then you look up from your journal and see Wanda facing away from you  in her window removing her dirty clothing from the day's hard work. You know it's wrong, you know you shouldn’t but you move closer to your window, eyes slowly cascading down her porcelain skin. 

You almost get whiplash as you're thrown back into those dirty images of the older woman on top of you moaning your name, looking back to see Wanda staring at you, you start to blush. Your legs going to run away from the woman but something in your brain tells you not to. You both stand there staring into each other's eyes in a comfortable silence before Wanda slowly lifts her hand over her half naked body and moves it around to her back to unclip her bra. Your eyes widen as her bra drops to the floor and you are confronted with the perfect image of her wide full breasts. 

You look back up at her with a blush as she smirks at you and lifts her eyebrow up at you in a challenge. You take the bait as you slowly lift your shirt up over your head and reach behind your back to unclip your bra. You watch as her eyes drift down your body and her bottom lip gets caught between teeth. You start to unbutton your pants and pull them down as you watch her hand descend underneath her waistband wondering if you should do the same. 

“Hey y/n have you seen my phone?” Your mom asks as she bursts the door open and walks in. 

Part 2 ??

[englishstrawbie]

Ooh. I really like prompts 9, 11, 12, 29, & 51, so whichever most inspires you of those for Marina would be nice to read!

Thank you for the prompts! I took three of these (9, 12 and 29) and combined them into one ficlet. I hope you like it, I'm a little rusty! 😊

>>>>>>>>>>

Carina pauses just inside the door of Joe’s bar, her eyes sweeping the room as she looks for her wife. She is momentarily distracted when she spots Jack and Travis on the far side, arguing over a microphone as they fight to be heard on the karaoke machine. Vic is nearby, her face scrunched up and her hands covering her ears, while Cutler, Larsson and Kline cheer them on.  

Carina bites back a laugh as she resumes her search. She finds Maya at the bar, perched on a stool – her usual spot, the same seat she occupied all those years ago when they first met; the same seat she always gravitates back to subconsciously. Andy sits beside her as they knock back a shot of something Carina knows they will regret in the morning. She resists the pull to go straight to them, holding back as she takes in Maya’s outfit. She is wearing a pair of dark jeans and a simple tee, the already short sleeves slightly rolled to show off the muscles in her arms.

Carina feels a familiar stirring inside of her as her stomach flips – no, not flips. It somersaults, the kind that would win a gold medal at the Olympics.

“DeLuca!”

She turns towards the call of her name to see Ben waving a bottle of wine at her, offering her a glass. She shakes her head at him, her hand instinctively running over her stomach. They haven’t told anyone about the embryo transfer, deciding to keep this one to themselves for now.

When she looks back towards the bar, Maya is grinning at her, calling her closer. Carina moves through the crowds and greets her wife with a kiss. Her lips taste of salty fries and tequila as Carina sweeps her tongue over them.

“What took you so long? I missed you!” Maya says when their lips part, her words a little slurred.

“You’re drunk!”

“And that’s my queue to leave,” Andy says teasingly.

As she stands up, she reaches out and squeezes Carina’s arm gently, her eyes bright and sparkling. It is easy for Carina to guess what they have been talking about.

“You told her,” Carina says as she slips onto the stool that Maya has pulled closer for her.

“It’s Andy,” Maya says with a shrug, “she doesn’t count. And…” She holds up a finger and points it in the direction of her wife. “I am not drunk.”

Carina chuckles, a small shake of her head as she calls the barman over and orders a sparkling water.

“How was work?” Maya asks.

“Busy,” Carina laments. “Two mamas – twin sisters – who wanted to give birth to their babies at the same time. Except one was crowning while the other was only six centimetres dilated.” She sips her drink. “When I give birth...”

She stops herself, silently berating herself for getting her hopes up too high. After all, the IUIs didn’t take, she isn’t getting any younger and the knowledge that time is running out for them weighs heavily on her.

“I mean, if…”

“When,” Maya says. She reaches out and takes Carina’s hand, waiting for Carina to look at her. “Hey, it’s okay to be optimistic.”

Carina opens her mouth to object, but Maya interrupts her again.

“When.”

A small smile passes Carina’s lips and she nods, but doesn’t say the word out loud again, doesn’t want to jinx them. Instead, she leans in and kisses Maya, lingering a little longer this time as she feels the day’s tension leave her body.

“How’s the party?”

She looks over her shoulder to where Sullivan and Ross dance, ignorant of the celebrations going on around them, their eyes only on each other. They had kept their engagement secret for several months, fearful of the reaction they might receive, not only from 19 but from the powers that be within Seattle FD. They need not have been worried about their family at 19, though, as the team had rallied around them and insisted that they celebrate at Joe’s after work.

As the happy couple move around the dancefloor lost in their own little world, Carina smiles to herself, knowing that feeling very well as she is transported back to her own wedding day when she couldn’t keep her eyes off Maya. Especially in that dress.

“Better now that you’re here,” Maya says.

Carina can’t help but roll her eyes at the corny line, but she melts at the endearment anyway.

“Do you ever think about doing it again?”

Carina looks at her, lost. “Think about what?”

“Getting married again,” Maya says.

Carina laughs. “You’re more than enough wife for me, Maya,” she says.

“No,” Maya says, “I mean… do you ever think about marrying me again?”

“I think you’ve had too much tequila.”

“No!” Maya says. “I mean, maybe…”

Carina quirks an eyebrow, watching as Maya shifts in her seat, turning her body to face her.

“I’ve been thinking,” Maya says. “We rebuilt our foundations. We had a second first date…”

“Twice,” Carina reminds her.

“… we started over and I… I fell in love with you all over again. Every day, every time I look at you, I think I fall a little more in love.” The corners of Maya’s eyes crinkle as they shine at her, so full of love that Carina’s heart swells. “I promised myself that we’d take it slow, that we’d take our time making sure that our foundations are really strong this time.”

“They are, my love.”

“I know,” Maya says. “But all of a sudden there’s Liam…”

Her smile widens at the mention of their son.

“…and a house, and IVF, and I never got to ask you to marry me again. Because I never asked you the first time, not properly, not the way you deserve; and I wanted us to have a second chance at that, too.”

“Maya,” Carina says, taking Maya’s hands in her own, “I asked you, remember? I got out of that taxi and I asked you to marry me. And yes, it was messy, but I love that it’s part of our story.”

“So do I,” Maya says. “And I’m not trying to rewrite our history. But I never thought I’d be so lucky, especially not in this lifetime, and I want to celebrate that. Me and you and Liam and…” Her eyes drop to Carina’s belly. “…whoever else might come along.”

Carina’s eyes widen as Maya slides off her stool, her face determined. Definitely too much tequila.

“What are you doing?”

“What if I asked you right now? What if I got down on one knee, right here in this bar, and asked you to marry me?”

“I’d think you were crazy!” Carina laughs.

A few curious glances are thrown their way and Carina grabs Maya’s hand, tugging her closer before they draw too much of a crowd.

Maya looks at her stubbornly. “Would you say yes?”

There is a nervous lilt in her voice that doesn’t go unnoticed and Carina softens. The answer is an easy one.

“Bambina, I would say yes every time.”

She smiles as she pulls Maya even closer, their lips crashing together, not caring that they have an audience. She thinks she hears a wolf whistle from across the bar and doesn’t know if it is meant for them, but Carina ignores it anyway, too wrapped up in her wife’s embrace to think about anyone else. They are breathless when they finally break apart, but Carina keeps Maya in her arms, burying her face into her neck and inhaling the lingering scent of her perfume. She wonders how Maya will propose, and whether it will be a big spectacle or somewhere quiet; if she will be surprised when it happens or if she will see it coming. Her heart flutters with excitement and she tells herself to be patient.

“So,” Maya says with a conspiratorial tone, “since you’re feeling so agreeable tonight, do you wanna sing karaoke with me?”

Carina tips her head back and laughs loudly.

“Absolutely not!”

She ignores the playful pout on Maya’s face, slipping off her stool and grabbing Maya’s hand.

“But I will dance with you.”

As she walks towards the dancefloor and listens to her wife’s laughter behind her, Carina’s hand rests on her stomach one more time. Maybe, just maybe, all of her dreams are coming true.

[silentangel2002-blog]

Blurred Lines

Conrad Fisher x Female Reader

A/N: Even if it’s not addressed in this chapter, Y/N is a female chubby character just a heads up!! This chapter is an introduction!! We will see more of Conrad in the next chapters!! Didn’t check for grammar!!

Warnings: Panic attacks, mentions of body image issues and insecurities. Angst

Chapter summary: Your mom was very close with Laurel and Susannah. After a car crash at Cousins, Susannah took you and your younger brother in when you were young. You kept pushing everyone away for years.

Age gaps for this story

Y/N-21

Conrad-19

Jeremiah, Steven- 17

Belly-16

Liam (Y/N’s brother)- 16

Summer at Cousins was always your safe space. It was an escape from things back at home, your parents always arguing, you having to protect your younger brother Liam from all that chaos. Liam is the same age as Belly, and you are two years older than Conrad. Each summer felt like a fairytale, like something that was too good to be true. Until that night changed summer and Cousins for you all together.

It’s been three weeks since Susannah’s passing. It breaks you that you couldn’t go to her funeral. You had talked to her the week before she passed away. Only she knew why you drifted away from your friends and her boys. You two used to meet up at a small town by Cousins to talk and catch up. When her cancer came back you used to visit her often, when everyone was out of the house she would call you knowing you’d come at any time of the day. She even has a painting of you hidden underneath her bed.

You know that everyone is mad at you. After all, you disappeared on everyone except Susannah. Haven’t texted or called back anyone. You made sure no one at Cousins saw whenever Susannah needed you in the house. It was easier for everyone. At the moment it’s what was best for everyone.

Flashback (One month ago)

Susannah just called for me to go over in an hour, I decided to stop by and get her this amazing lemonade we used to drink at the restaurant we used to visit to catch up. She had mentioned that the door would be unlocked. As soon as I go in there she is in her bed tied up to who knows what. I told myself I wouldn’t cry but when I felt her weak yet warm arms around me I broke down. “Hey my baby queen, I’m still here, it’s okay.” She told me as I moved to the side of her bed. “Can you drink any fluids?” I ask her. The last time I brought her a muffin her body could not break down solids anymore. She smiles looking down to you. “What did you get me?” I pull up the lemonade cup. “Heck yes I can have yummy fluids!!” She says as I put the straw up to her so she can have a few zips. As I put the cup down you feel her staring at me. “What? I don’t want you to hurt yourself for some lemonade. I'll give you some more in a bit.” I say as I laugh at her. “Come here.” She says making a little space on the bed for me to sit. “ Look Queenie, last time you were here, one of the boys saw you.” I suddenly felt my heart sink down to my stomach, as I felt my heartbeat out of your chest. Susannah reaches to hold your hand “Breathe baby, it’s okay, they didn’t hear anything we talked about. He just really misses you.” Truth is I have been struggling with my mental health since I was young. It started with panic attacks. Susannah was the one that helped me through my first panic attack. I lightly squeezed her hand. “ I’m okay, I’m okay” I tell her.

“He really wants to see you. He’s not far from here.” I don’t know if it’s Jeremiah, but I do prefer Jere over seeing Conrad right now. Before I decided to leave, me and Conrad had a huge fight. “Is it Jeremiah?” I ask her. “ Of course it is.” She says reaching for her phone. “Jere, I’m okay hun don’t worry, she’s okay with seeing you.” The fact that she didn’t have to explain who “she” is makes me wonder how much he pestered her about seeing me.

*Flashback over*

Without going into detail you managed to tell Jeremiah that you were struggling with some things that you needed to take care of by yourself. He gave you an invitation to his graduation. The last time you saw Susannah you had a terrible panic attack, you had to stay in the hospital given your history. After not attending Susannah’s funeral you weren’t sure if he was upset with you again or not. You would understand if he was. You decided to sit away from anyone possibly seeing you. When all of the guests leave you wait behind to look for Jeremiah amongst the graduates. You didn’t even have to call him as soon as his eyes landed on you, you could feel it. He slowly walks up to you with tears in his eyes. “You know when my mom told me that you might disappear again. I didn’t think that meant not coming to her funeral.” He whispers. You bring him into a hug. “This time I’ll tell you what happened. But you have to give me time before I talk to the rest, I’m just not ready for that. Inside my gift I left my number.” You say handing him a gift bag. “When you have time we’ll catch up. I understand if you’re still upset with me right now.” As you walk away from him you hear his voice break down “please don’t push us away anymore.” All you can do is look back at him and give him a small smile. Not knowing that Conrad was watching you leave. As you left the venue everything came flooding back into your mind

Flashback (13 years old)

It was the Fourth of July, Jeremiah, Liam, and Steven were playing in the pool. You were fixing Belly’s hair, adding some cute bows to her Pigtails. She just turned 8, you want to help her as much as possible. “Hey y/n?” She turns up to look at you “what’s up little Belly?” You ask, smiling at her. “How are you so pretty?” Even if you didn’t feel pretty, being with your loved ones always made you forget your insecurities. “The more time you spend with people you love, the more you laugh and smile, the prettier you get.” You tell her as you see her eyes fill with joy. Looking out the window you see the clouds moving faster than usual. It never rains much out here. You see Laurel and Susannah come out “Boys!! Pool Time is over!! We’re getting a thunderstorm tonight.!!” Susannah yells. Your mom was just with Susannah and Laurel, not seeing her you go look for her. “Mom!!” You find her in the living room teary eyed. “Mom!! What’s wrong?” You say lowering your voice, not to worry about the rest. “ Nothing sweetie, your dad is upset I brought you guys here during this storm.” You all work together to make the living room comfy. You see the lights flickering on and off. Laurel has a box full of candles, while Susannah has some blankets. The boys help your mom move the living room furniture to the side. You and Belly lay the blankets and fall flat to the floor laughing, Now you all have space for everyone to sit down and sleep during the storm. As expected the lights went out.

As you were drifting to sleep you heard yelling. “I told you it would rain. But you never listen. You brought the kids next to an OCEAN. During a thunderstorm.” You already recognized your dads voice. “Michael, calm down. I thought you were lying about the rain just so we didn’t come here this summer.” You see your parents walk out while it’s still storming “Mom!! Dad!!” You see your dad slap your mom before anyone else walks out of the house. “Put my children in danger again, against my orders I’ll make sure you lose custody after this divorce.” Your dad sees you in the corner of his eye and tries to calm your mom down. “Look I didn’t mean to hit you. Let’s go home.” Your mom, scared, steps away from your dad. “Do NOT come any closer to me.” She warns him. And suddenly in slow motion you freeze. You see your dad step closer to your mom, and headlights coming closer to them. You try to run but Conrad and Steven hold you back.

*Flashback over*

After that day you lived with Susannah and her boys. Lost your mother at 13, and your dad afraid to go to court over anything left and never came back. Each summer you would go to art camp or volunteer at a Daycare. So that you would never go spend another summer at Cousins. Back in Boston you kept yourself busy and away from others. Even found an after school Job when you turned 16 so that you didn’t have to eat dinner with the rest. But Susannah always kept you company. After you turned 19 Susannah helped you get and apartment near a small art school you always wanted to attend. You’ve been living this routine away from your loved ones for a while now.

[leclerqueensainz]

A Family of Three (C.L 16)

Part. III - Heroes, Princess and Fewawi.

⚠️ Warnings: Distress (Charles is very sad talking about losing someone he loves), mention of maternal abandonment, issues with parents, and postpartum depression, among other triggers. However, there is also a cute interaction with Vincenzo for the first time, so that's a step forward.

Enjoy the reading!

P.S.: This is entirely based on Charles's point of view.

Word Count: 4,332.

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April 19, 2019 - Monte Carlo, Monaco.

When my father died a few years ago, I thought I would be prepared for any loss I would have endure later on. I anticipated losing other people, of which I had no doubt, but I swore that nothing could shake me as much as losing my hero.

When I lied to him about securing the Ferrari contract because it was his dream, and I wanted him to rest in peace, knowing that we had achieved it, that all the effort he had put into my future had been worthwhile, I thought nothing else could hurt as much as knowing he would never have the opportunity to see me don a red racing suit and drive a Scuderia car.

When I was given permission to drive the car carrying his casket, and I drove through the city so my father could bid a final farewell to the place he lived and loved for so long before taking him to the cemetery, I thought nothing could destroy my heart and burn every cell of my body as much as that did.

I was wrong.

But I should have known better. I should have understood that no pain would be enough to call someone's soul.

The news reached me two days ago on Monday when I was still in Shanghai after a race. Marie, my ex-girlfriend, called me in the middle of the night, and I couldn't fathom why she was calling me when we hadn't spoken in six months since the breakup.

My heart had raced before answering the phone, and a thousand thoughts crossed my mind—whether she was drunk and missing me or if she dialed accidentally. If she just wanted to talk because she had a bad day and Jules didn't answer when she called. I could expect anything and think of any possibility, but never these words. "Jules is dead." That's what she said right after my hello. There were no tears, no pauses. Just a broken and lifeless voice. A dead and cold voice.

Marie hadn't called because she was drunk or had a bad day and had no one else to talk to. It wasn't nostalgia for the six months we had been apart. It wasn't to tell me she loved me, as I had dreamed so many times before.

Marie called because our best friend, my godfather, was dead. No tears, no pauses. Just shock. It was direct. It was terrifying.

I wanted to know what she was talking about because Jules had left after the race, and he was fine. He was happy with the position and wanted to return to Nice to celebrate with the family. She didn't answer me. And I wondered if she had a baby or if it was a playful way to start a conversation with an ex-boyfriend. But she didn't laugh like I knew she would if she were joking. Then I felt it. The silence that told the truth. I had lost Jules, too.

So I shouted into the phone, said it wasn't funny, I was late, and I didn't want to participate in that cruel game. Denial. "Come to Monaco, Charles." She said and hung up.

I never wanted to have answered. I never wanted to pack hastily, wake up Pierre, and tell him we had lost him. I didn't want to arrive in Monaco and see the faces of my brothers and my mother painted with grief again. "I'm so sorry, my love." That's what my mother said when I fell to my knees and allowed myself to cry in front of my family as she hugged me. "It will be okay." That's what Lorenzo said. But we both knew it wouldn't.

I thought I wouldn't feel the sense of helplessness and bitterness when putting on a black suit again. I thought grief would be something I could handle. But it wasn't.

I begged anything that existed not to take anything else from me. I couldn't bear to make the same journey to that church because of another funeral. And I didn't want the experience of that shadow that left me shattered again.

I didn't want to overcome another loss; I didn't want to wonder why the pain didn't pass and didn't seem enough. I didn't want to try to understand or hear people saying that he would be in a better place and everything was God's purpose.

God. Why did he seem so angry with me? Wasn't losing my father enough? Why did he need Jules, too?

knowing that the only certainty of life is death, why didn't God bring an easier way for those who remain to overcome it?

There was no more my father; there was no more Jules. My heroes were gone, and I was left here. Why was I left?

I was being selfish and wise. Nevertheless, it was what allowed me to feel at the moment. I was alone, without those who once helped me become who I am. There was no one else to advise or guide me. And even though I still had Lorenzo or Arthur, I felt lost, like a drifting boat.

When the car parked in front of that church, I asked my family to proceed. I need a few minutes. I gathered the courage and strength to enter that place once again and face what I already knew would be the cause of my nightmares in the coming days. "Confront your demons," everyone says. But whoever coined that phrase never understood the complexity of the dark and bitterness-filled hole that grief brings.

I stared at the church from behind the car window. The same car in which I had once smiled with my best friend for having won it and carrying the Ferrari brand on its bodywork. The same car where I cried when I thought about how my father would have reacted to seeing me come home with it, and Jules hugged me and said it didn't matter where he would be; he would be selling and proud of my achievements.

And now I'm here inside. I'm inside this car, once again, in front of this church. However, without the consolation of someone I love this time. I'm inside this machine, summoning the courage to enter the funeral of someone who once comforted me for a loss.

I'm here summoning the courage to say goodbye to another of my heroes.

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January 20, 2023 - Nice, France.

I park the car in front of an old, low-rise building. Beside me, Marie watches closely as Cecilia steps out of the car in front of us. I can feel her nervousness and notice her hands tightly gripping the cuffs.

I know exactly what she's feeling, and a part of me is proud that I still manage to understand her body language even after all these years, but I try my best to downplay it since it's a delicate moment for both her and me.

After the meeting, Cecilia made a request that we expected but still caught us somewhat off guard. She wanted us to meet Vincenzo that afternoon. And that's where we are now—parked in front of the building, which I assume is where Cecilia lives with Vincenzo.

"What if he doesn't like us?" Marie asks softly. And I think she's posing the question more to herself than me.

"Hey! He's going to adore us!" I say, and she looks at me. Her eyes are wide with fear and anxiety. "Marie, it won't be easy initially, but we've discussed this before. Let's take it one step at a time. Don't think of Vincenzo as our future responsibility for now; think of him as a piece of Jules we will meet, okay?" Her eyes fill with tears, but she nods and smiles.

I take her hand, still clenched into a fist, and slowly bring it to my lips, gently touching it. Her hand opened, and I saw the half-moon red marks in her palm. She sighs in surprise, and I smile, trying to convey reassurance, even though I'm as terrified as she is deep down.

"We'll make it, my dear. Trust me," I say, and she agrees.

She subtly motions for me to release her wrist, but before I can feel my stomach sink with her rejection, her hand grabs mine and squeezes—a firm grip with a lot of meaning. My eyes go from our joined hands to her face, and this time, she has a small, reassuring smile on her lips.

"Let's go, Leclerc! Let's meet the legacy of our best friend."

(…)

"Sorry for the number of stairs! Our elevator hardly ever works," Cecilia says when we finally reach her apartment door after climbing about eight flights of stairs.

I lean against the wall next to the door and pull the air firmly into my lungs. On the other hand, in the last step, Marie depends on the railing, trying to laugh her heart out and normalize her breathing.

"Jesus! How do you manage to do this every day?" She asks Cecilia, who laughs and shrugs.

"Try doing it with a child in your arms; you'll guarantee it's much worse," she says, and Marie laughs lightly.

"So, good for you that you'll soon be free from going through this, right?" I speak, and the smile once painted on her lips fades.

Marie clears her throat, making me take my eyes off Cecilia and look at her. She is giving me a reproachful look, and I muster all of myself not to roll my eyes.

"Cecilia, do you want to go in first and talk to Vincenzo for a bit?" She asks, and Cecilia agrees.

"Good idea! Be back in a minute," she says, searching for the key inside her bag until she finds it and inserts it into the door lock. Before she turned the doorknob to open it, she waited for me for a full minute.

"I'm not asking you to like me, Charles," her tone is profound, and I stare at her with the same intensity. "But know that while we are in my house and front of Vincenzo, you won't talk to me like that, and you won't disrespect my pain in front of my son. I know I can't expect much from you because you're a man, and you'll never understand the situation with any view other than a man's." She turns entirely to me. "None of this is a walk in the park. Not for any of us. And this is the saddest thing I've had to do since I spent 12 hours in labor alone in a hospital while still mourning the father of my child." Tears overflow in her eyes, and I swallow hard.

"I messed up, and I messed up a lot. But I pay my penance every day for it. While you could feel the pain of mourning at your doorstep, I had to get up every day to feed and change a child who depended on me, and for a long time, I considered him to blame for everything." She lowers her gaze, shame and regret in her words reflecting her being. "They said it was postpartum depression, but I always knew better. I always loved Vincenzo, but I will never be able to look at him without seeing the reflection of my mistakes." She wipes the tears streaming down her face with the backs of her hands. "I will live eternally with these ghosts haunting me, but I won't let my son go through this." She says and turns, opening the door and entering right after.

The door closes with a soft thud, and I look at her. I don't know how I should react or even what I feel in the face of Cecilia's declaration. But even without knowing, shame points at the pit of my stomach. It's a shame because I wonder what Jules would say if he could see me now. And I think about my father for the first time in a long time.

"She didn't say that for you to feel bad, Charles," I'm drawn by Marie's voice. Her expression is serious, but her tone is gentle. "But she's not entirely wrong. You'll never understand her, not just because you're a man, but because this situation is far beyond any understanding and empathy you and I can have." She says, and her gaze shifts momentarily before returning to me. "I think the only one who could understand her is no longer here." She whispers the last part, and I continue observing her and digesting her words.

I also wonder if Marie has ever felt like Cecilia, not for the same reasons; that's obvious. But for different reasons, has she ever felt so alone with no one to understand her motives?

And then, I remember when I found out she had left a few days after Jules' funeral. I went to her apartment in the center of Monaco, and when I arrived, the landlord told me she had moved two days ago. I remember the emptiness that filled me: the pain, the loneliness, the mourning.

I had questioned many times why she left and abandoned me, even though she had nothing left with me and no obligation to try to restore what was broken inside me. But at no point did I wonder what she felt.

Jules died, and Marie and I no longer had a relationship. Her parents were never real parents. She had no one else but me, and even though I felt lonely and abandoned, I still had family who felt my pain.

So, is that it? Is that why she left? Because she thought she had no one else? Did she go through all of this alone?

"Please, Charles. Don't do this," she says, and I stare at her.

"Do what?" I ask, confused.

"Don't try to decipher if there's more to what I said than what I said," her gaze is as intense as Cecilia's a bit ago. "This is not about me and certainly not about you." And with these words, she ended the subject.

I wish I could retort and ask her, but that wasn't the moment, and I had already messed up enough for today. So, I nod in understanding, and she relaxes her shoulders and clears her throat.

Marie walks towards me in small steps, my trained eyes on her movements. She stops by my side, leaning against the same wall as me. Her face turned to the stairs where she was before.

"I'm sorry," is what I say because that's what I feel. Marie looks at me, and a faint smile adorns her lips.

"It's not your fault," she looks back at the stairs, and I follow.

We spend a few more minutes facing the cold steps, both immersed in our thoughts until I hear a slight maneuver coming from inside Cecilia's apartment. The door opened, but there was no one there.

"Hi!" A childish voice says, and I look down, seeing a tiny being with dimples and chubby cheeks staring at us. "I'm Vitiendo."

I feel my body freeze, and everything around me seems blurry. The little one looks at me with big brown eyes, just like Jules'. My heart races inside my chest, but still, I try to pull the air as deep as I can.

I crouch down, getting as close as I can to Vincenzo's height, and he keeps looking at me with big and curious eyes.

"Are you a friend of Daddy?" He asks, and I nod.

"Your father was my best friend," I say, his eyes light up. "I'm Charles. Nice to meet you, Vincenzo," I add, extending my hand for him to take.

"Will you be my best friend too, Shal?" he asks, looking from my hand back to my face.

I feel my eyes welling up, and a smile grows on my face.

"Yes, Vincenzo. You'll be my best friend," I reply, and he throws himself into my arms. I was startled and remained still momentarily, feeling his little arms tightly wrapped around my neck.

I instinctively hugged him back when I finally realized he was hugging me.

Tears I tried to hold back streamed down my face. It's Jules' son who is in my arms now. And it's him to whom I will give my word and my life to protect, no matter what happens. Just as Jules once did for me.

I lose myself in the feeling of that hug. I lost the sense of familiarity I felt at that moment. It's as if I've been transported back a few years, and the person in my arms is my best friend. I close my eyes tightly and suppress the urge to say everything. I never had the opportunity to speak to Jules one last time.

I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry. Thank you for being my hero. Stay.

I don't know how long we've stayed in this position, but I've returned to reality, or at least part of it when I hear a sniffle and a half sob behind Vincenzo. He must have heard it, too, as he squirms slightly in my arms, urging me to let go. He then turns to his mother and Marie, who are watching us, tears in their eyes.

Many things are happening on Marie's face, but for the first time since we learned of Vincenzo's existence, fear is not a part of any of them.

I watch her eyes shine with inspiration as she looks at the little boy in front of her, who looks back at her with sparkling eyes. They stand there, staring at each other for a few seconds, until Vincenzo tilts his head in confusion.

"Hi!" he greets with a shy smile. "Are you a princess?" I let out a low laugh, and Cecilia joined me. Marie bends down to his level. Her right hand slowly traces Vincenzo's face as if she wants to capture every feature.

"You look just like your dad," her voice falters with emotion, and Vincenzo extends a hand, mimicking her movements.

"Were you also a friend of Daddy, Princess?" He smiles openly, and Marie quickly nods with closed eyes, savoring the affection Vincenzo is showing.

"Yes, my love. I was excellent friends with your daddy," she says in a soft voice, and just as he did with me, Vincenzo throws himself into Marie's arms, who holds him instantly and presses him tightly against her.

I approach the two and give Marie a sideways hug, running my hands through Vincenzo's small curls.

(...)

"And this here is my Lawi Hamilton car," Vincenzo shows me another one of his toy cars when we reach the small room he shares with his mother. "It's my favorite," he says, and Marie laughs beside me when I can't hide my grimace.

"And a Ferrari? Don't you like Ferrari?" I ask him, and he leaves me confused for a few seconds.

"Fewawi? Is that the red car that breaks?" He innocently asks, and this time Marie bursts into laughter. I nod and give her a dirty look. "Fewawi is cool, Shal. But I like Cedes," he says, his eyes sparkling with the name of Mercedes, and I can't help but smile.

"Alright, I'll make you change that over time. At least it's not Redbull," I say, and Marie shakes her head, the huge smile still on her face.

"Edbull is the best! I like Edbull!" He says, and I choke on the air.

"But that's not possible!" I am incredulous, and Marie already has tears in her eyes from laughing so much.

"Don't be mad, Shal! I'll like Fewawi too, I promise!" Vincenzo extends his pinky finger towards me, and I catch it with mine, crossing them in a promise.

"I think that's great because you're going to spend a lot of time in the Ferrari box with me, little man," I say, picking him up, and he laughs.

"And are we going to meet Lawi Hamilton?" He asks excitedly, and I nod with a smile.

"Well, he won't be in the Ferrari box, but we can go to the Mercedes one; how about that?" I ask, and Vincenzo lets out a scream of happiness and hugs me tightly.

"Thank you, Shal! Are you coming too, Princess?" He turns to Marie, who looks at me awkwardly, unsure what to answer.

It has been a long time since Marie walked through the Paddock; the last time was months before Jules' death when we both ended our relationship. And I understand that for her, it might be a bit challenging.

"The Princess will go when she's ready," I say, looking at Marie. "And when she's ready, we'll both be there to hold her hands and ensure she doesn't feel scared, right?" I ask, shifting my gaze from Marie to Vincenzo, and the little boy in my arms jumps, making me hold him tighter to prevent him from falling.

"Yes! And can we take mommy too, Shal?" I feel a shiver down my spine when he asks me. I look at Marie, who stares back at me with wide, sad eyes.

I don't know what to answer. I still need to understand my position here. Vincenzo will live with us, but I don't know who or how we would break this news to him. Even though I don't like Cecilia and disagree with her parenting methods, I still don't feel that this conversation should come from me but rather from Cecilia, who is still the boy's mother.

No child is ready to leave their mother, especially one so young. Cecilia is Vincenzo's world. The only absolute truth he knows, and I don't want him to lose that, even if it's something enforced.

"How about we check if Mommy has finished making dinner, Little One?" Marie asks, lifting the rug where Vincenzo is sitting. "Will you help me find the kitchen? This house is still a maze for me, and princesses can't wander in mazes without royal guards and knights in armor to watch over them, right?" Marie gestures and puts her hands on her chest, pretending to be a distressed damsel. Despite wanting to laugh at her horrible acting, I feel grateful she thought of something so quickly to distract the boy from his question.

"Yes, Princess! I'll protect you from monsters and bad guys!" Vincenzo says, striking a pose as a brave hero, making us laugh. "Shal, floor!" I understand what he means and bend down to safely put him on the floor.

Vincenzo takes Marie's hand, pulling her towards the door. She follows him briskly, and I stay in the room for a few more minutes, looking at the toys Vincenzo had left on the floor.

His question still echoes in my head. The feeling of wanting to shield him from any pain overwhelms me, but I know it's impossible for him not to suffer from Cecilia's future absence. I wonder if she is not going through the same, for I've known him for less than an hour, and I can't imagine being away from the boy for too long. Then I remember what she said earlier, her bitter words against herself, and how she doesn't want Vincenzo to be haunted by the ghosts of her mistakes.

And remembering the feeling I had earlier with him in my arms, this may be the universe's way of telling me that even though I no longer have my heroes around me, I still have the opportunity to be someone's hero.

And there, sitting on Spider-Man's play mat, holding the toy cars in my hands, I begin to understand, or at least I think I do. If I already love him, having just met him, it's clear that this is a nightmare for Cecilia. She has to leave her son, her only companion because guilt and the consequences of her mistakes always haunt her. Sacrificing her right as a mother rather than offering her son's happiness and future might not make her a terrible mother. Perhaps it's the only thing she has done right in her entire life.

"Come on, Shal! Many monsters want to take the Princess!" Vincenzo appears at the door, and I quickly get up, running towards him. After all, I can't let such a tiny being fight against so many monsters alone.

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Hello! After months, I brought another part translated into English! I apologize for the delay, but it's truly challenging to translate into another language. This weekend, I will translate the other parts :) See You!

Tag list:

@woofgocows

@livinglifethroughfanfic @allthisfortommy

@kyomihann

@numafarawayglxy

@ushygushybaby

@lara03

@alwaysclassyeagle

@ru-kru @pjofics

[babydollmarauders]

TEENAGER IN LOVE — TREVOR ZEGRAS

trevor zegras x fem! hughes!reader

pt. 2

request: “hi! can i request something with trevor zegras with the prompts 20 and 23 please? thanks sm!! 💗”

20. “can we stay like this forever?”

23. “sleep over? please?”

summary: in which y/n reminisces on how her and Trevor started their secret relationship.

notes: i changed up prompt 23 a little bit to make it fit better, i hope that’s okay!

i was listening to Teenager in Love by Madison Beer quite a bit while writing this so…

Trevor and y/n are in an established relationship during the first little “present” scene.

reader is 20 in the present and 19 in the flashback.

**PRESENT**

i’ve never felt comfortable on planes. it doesn’t matter where i’m sat or what i’m wearing or who i’m with, i don’t like planes. my family knows this, my friends know this, anyone who will listen to me talk knows this, my brother however, simply does not care. and now i’m stuck on the Devils charter plane, not even sat next to Jack because he’s busy sat next to Dougie, talking about some video game they both play. so i’m left beside Jesper Bratt, who’s already asleep after only being in the air for maybe half an hour.

i didn’t intend to even tag along on this road game to California, but i moved in with Jack a couple months ago and he apparently didn’t trust me to stay in New Jersey by myself, citing his reasoning as “i don’t want any chance of you having boys in this apartment.” but the joke is on him, because he’s really just providing me with a trip to see the only guy he should be remotely worried about, Trevor.

as the only girl, growing up with three brothers, they’ve always been a bit overprotective. and by a bit, i mean a lot. even Luke, who’s a year younger than me, has had his fair share of threatening guys “in the name of my safety.” all of their friends have gotten the “if you even so much as look at my sister, i’ll make sure you never see anything again” spiel, and for a good nineteen years, their friends respected that. until Jack’s best friend, Trevor, and i were left alone for a night at the lake house last summer.

**FLASHBACK**

-

all the guys have left for a party down the road, they even took Luke along with them for his first party as an eighteen year old, and i’m looking forward to a quiet night of watching romcom’s on the couch with no judgment and no one complaining that “that would never happen in real life!”

decked out in one of Quinn’s oversized Canucks shirts, pajama shorts, and some fuzzy socks; i’m lounged on the couch, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket burrito. i’m just about to hit play on a movie on netflix when the front door opens and shuts and i hear footsteps getting closer to the living room. averting my gaze from the tv, i look over in time to see Trevor freeze in the doorway to the living room, and i become acutely aware of my current state of no makeup and probably looking like a dork with my blanket draped over the top of my head.

i’ve never had a problem acting normal around any of my brothers’ friends. usually, they’re all just like extended family, unwanted additional older brothers. except Trevor. when Jack first brought him home during their USNTDP days, i immediately got a schoolgirl crush. and unlike usual crushes, it’s only gotten worse with time. luckily, Quinn and Jack have never seemed to notice my awkward and shy behavior when Trevor is around, but Luke has and he’s made it his mission to send me scowls and snicker at my misfortune whenever it happens.

“oh hey.” he cocks his head in one those ‘sup’ nods and takes a glance towards the tv screen before fixing his gaze back on me.

“hey. what are you doing back already? are the others coming back too? i can go back into my room. i don’t wanna be a bother or anything.” cue the embarrassing rambles.

“nah, it’s just me. feeling kinda homesick, i don’t really wanna be at a party tonight.” he shrugs his shoulder and sits on the arm of the couch next to me. “whatcha watching?”

“oh, i was just gonna watch a romcom, but it’s fine, i can watch it in my room. you can have the tv if you want.” i have to crane my neck some to look up at him from my spot. “i can leave you alone.”

i start to stand up, still wrapped in my blanket burrito when Trevor grabs the back of the blanket and tugs me back down onto the couch. he stands and walks in front of me before taking a spot on the cushion next to me.

“so, what romcom are we watching?” he asks, kicking his legs up on the coffee table in front of us.

“you don’t have to watch it. we can watch something else, if you want.”

trevor’s only answer comes in actions, grabbing the remote from my hands and clicking play on the movie. i don’t bother to fight him anymore, allowing myself to get sucked into the movie instead.

i’m sat rigid throughout the entire movie, keeping aware of my limbs, not letting any stray too far towards the cushion beside me. and about halfway through the movie i remember how weird i must look and move the blanket onto my lap instead of wrapped around me. i can barely focus on anything other than the fact that Trevor is sitting next to me. the fact that i can smell his sandalwood cologne. that if i were to lay my hand next to me, i would almost be touching him.

once the movie ends, i expect him to put on something for himself or even just go to his room, but instead he turns to look at me.

“you okay?” he asks. my eyes widen slightly before i catch myself and revert them back to normal.

“yeah, why?” i try to sound calm, but my voice is slightly shaky, and i’m just hoping he didn’t notice.

“you seem uncomfortable. did i make you uncomfortable? did i do something?” i shake my head a little too violently for someone who’s supposed to be calm.

“no! i’m not uncomfortable! why would you think that? i’m cool.”

oh my god people who are cool do not say ‘i’m cool’, what is wrong with me? he chuckles and i can’t help the small smile that breaks out on my face at the sound.

“i was just checking.” he puts his hands up in a surrendering gesture. “we should play a game.”

“what game did you have in mind?”

“truth or dare? i don’t know, i’m just bored.”

“sure.” i have a feeling this will not end great for me, but i’m not about to let him know that.

“okay. truth or dare?” we turn and sit criss-cross on the couch, facing each other properly as i weigh my options.

“truth.” safest option. he takes a second to think about his question.

“okay, i got one. does it ever annoy you, how overprotective your brothers can be?”

“oh yeah. one hundred percent. they have all these rules for me; don’t drink unless we’re with you, no dating until you’re 30, don’t leave the house unless you tell us where you’re going, don’t crush on any of our friends. it’s overwhelming sometimes. and i can never stick up for myself because they’re so quick to hurt whoever hurts me, which is nice, yes, but it’s definitely taken a toll on how i present myself. it’s made me shy and my friends say i can be a crybaby sometimes because i’ve never had to handle problems on my own. like, don’t get me wrong, i’m grateful for my brothers, they’re always there for me, but sometimes it’s just too much. ya know?”

he nods, genuinely seeming interested in what i had to say, and my heart flutters.

“i can’t say i understand because i’m the older brother in my family, but i can imagine it can be difficult sometimes.”

“anyways, truth or dare?” he ponders his options before choosing dare. “i dare you to text the guys and tell them you just watched a romcom. and you CAN’T say it was with me.”

he groans and lets his head drop back for a few seconds before pulling his phone out of his pocket and typing for a minute. turning the screen so i can see what he just wrote, he lets me press the send button.

To: Jack-Attack, Huggy Bear, Moosey Hughes

just watched this great romcom on netflix called Set It Up. you guys should watch it. 10/10

i let my own head drop back in laughter and let out an ugly cackle.

“truth or dare? you evil little witch” his mocking insult rolls straight off my back when i see the smile on his face.

“truth again.” i shrug when he raises an eyebrow at my safe choice.

“have you ever broken any of your brothers rules?” my mind short circuits. there’s only one rule i’ve broken, and that’s by liking him. do i admit that? or do i just say no? technically, he didn’t say i have to say which rule i’ve broken, so-

“yes. but you can’t tell them that i have! it has to be our secret! they’d pester me to no end until they found out which one i broke!”

“okay, our secret. promise.” he holds his pinky out, waiting for me to link it with my own. a pinky swear. how adorable. fuck. i bring my own hand up, linking my pinky with his before breaking away and setting my hand back in my lap.

“truth or dare?” i ask.

“truth.” i take a few seconds to think of a question. how is this harder to think of than coming up with a dare?

“what’s your favorite part about the off season?” it’s a relatively boring question, but the first one i thought of.

“oh that’s easy. coming here. i love spending time with you guys.” more heart flutters, i may need to get that checked out. “truth or dare?”

“don’t kill me; truth.” i joke and he laughs again.

“i should’ve expected that, shouldn’t i? alright, if you wanna keep doing truth, i’m just gonna dig deeper and deeper until you tell me your darkest secret, y/n. which rule did you break?” my stomach drops. can i forfeit? can i plead the fifth? is that a thing that you can do in truth or dare? i wouldn’t know, this is my first time playing. i think i’m just gonna have to say it. it’s not like he’ll ever know it’s him.

“you can’t tell them! remember that!” i remind him before admitting- “having a crush on one of their friends.”

his jaw drops and he lets out a completely fake gasp.

“that is not what i was expecting. i expected you to say the drinking rule or the telling them where you go rule. how scandalous, y/n! a forbidden romance!” his jokes make me feel slightly better, at least he’s not judging me.

“yeah, yeah! it’s not like i’m dating the guy.” i defend myself. “truth or dare, Zegras?”

“dare, i’m feeling adventurous.”

“i dare you to go in Jacks room and steal my book back for me. he took it away from me because he said reading was boring and this trip isn’t allowed to be boring.” he bursts out in laughter, barely able to form words for a few minutes before he speaks again.

“oh you’ve got me doing your dirty work for you! i respect it!” he leaps up from the couch and within a couple minutes he’s back on the couch, my book in his hand. he tosses it on my lap and throws a wink my way. “one book for the lady.”

“my sanity thanks you. i can’t start another book until i’ve finished this one and it was killing me slowly.”

“truth or dare? although, i don’t know why i bother asking at this point.” i roll my eyes at his sarcasm and decide to throw him a curveball. mostly for myself though because i have a feeling i know what his next question would be if i pick truth.

“dare.” he grins, and for a second i regret my choice.

“i dare you to tell me which friend you were or are crushing on. c’mon, i can keep your secret.” he asked it anyways. what the hell. i don’t think you can do that. can you do that?

“that’s basically a truth! i picked dare! that’s cheating!”

“it is not!” now it’s his turn to defend himself. “i DARED you to tell me! i promise i won’t judge you, or laugh, or tell your brothers!”

oh god, i’m gonna have to tell him, aren’t i? i mean, i could always just say one of the other guys. i could say Alex, he’s always been the sweetest to me, so i’m sure Trevor would believe it. but then he might say something. it’s not that i wouldn’t trust him to keep it a secret if i say someone else, but Trevor has a big mouth, and sometimes he talks without thinking. he could slip up. so it’s smarter not to lie, to avoid any trouble or confusion. so i close my eyes and count to ten before i say it. here goes nothing.

“you.” i still don’t open my eyes. too afraid of his reaction. but now he’s quiet and i don’t like the silence. oh god, is he disgusted? is he trying trying to figure out how to let me down gently? “don’t get weird. you don’t have to say anything. you can just forget you heard that. pretend you didn’t hear any-“

i’m cut off by his mouth crashing down onto mine. i freeze, overthinking everything, before eventually melting into the kiss. moving my lips against his. it’s slow and sweet, and not at all the reaction i was expecting from him. we pull apart and i allow my eyes to flutter back open, watching his face as he slowly breathes in and out. he catches my eye and a wide grin spreads across his face.

“i’ve wanted to do that since high school.” his hands grip my hips and i let him pull me onto his lap, straddling him. butterflies are flying around in my stomach and my heart is pounding against my chest, but i let my body relax into his.

“really?”

“yeah.” he confirms, leaning his forehead against my own. “the first time Jack had me over to your house, he gave this whole lecture about how you were off limits. and i thought ‘no problem.’ but then i saw you, and i got to know you, and it turned out to be a big problem. you’re so beautiful, and then you turned to be this sweet, funny, amazing girl. and god, i could not get you out of my head. i still can’t.”

this time it’s my turn to plant a kiss on his lips, this one a chaste peck. i slouch down and lay my head on his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“can we stay like this forever?” i ask, but before he can answer, his phone buzzes on the cushion beside us, and he picks it up and curses.

“Jack just texted to say they’ll be home soon. he said Cole is wasted and they need to put him to bed.” i pull back and nod my head, moving to get off him. but he wraps his arms around my middle and holds us chest-to-chest. “do you want me to tell him you’re asleep? you can come in my room. we can just cuddle, nothing else necessary. but i just got you, and now i just wanna hold you.”

i smile and nod again, silently saying a thank you to whatever higher entity above granted me such luck as to have him like me back.

“yeah, i’d like that.” we get off the couch and make our way to his room, remembering to turn the tv off on our way out of the living room. he opens the door to his room and allows me to enter first before he comes in.

“you can go ahead and lay down, i’m just gonna change into some sweats first.” he walks over to his opened suitcase on the floor and pulls out a pair of grey sweatpants and a t-shirt before leaving the room, going into the bathroom across the hall. i do as he says and lay down on his bed, on my side facing the door.

it’s not but a moment after he gets back into the room and shuts the door, that we hear the front door of the house open and shut, followed by multiple pairs of footsteps and some mumbling.

“jesus Cole, you could help me out here and actually move your feet.” i can hear Quinn say as he passes by Trevor’s door, i’m assuming helping Cole to his room. Trevor snickers and comes over to the bed, clicking off the lamp before laying down behind me and putting his arm around my middle, pulling me close against him. after about 15 minutes i can feel his breath start to even out, and i look over my shoulder to see his eyes fluttering open and shut, obviously having trouble staying awake.

“you can go to sleep, Trev. i’ll go to my room once i know they’re all in theirs.” i whisper.

“no. sleep over here? please? i wanna hold you tonight.” his voice is soft and low so we don’t get caught, but also laced with sleepiness. i shake my head.

“what if one of them finds us in the morning? you know how my brothers will react.” at my words, he pulls his phone out of his sweatpants pocket and taps a few times before leaning over me and plugging it in on the nightstand.

“there. i set an alarm for 7am. you know the guys won’t even wake up before 10, so that gives us plenty of time for you to go back to your room before they can catch us.” i sigh and snuggle back into him.

“alright. i’ll sleep in here.” he plants a kiss on an exposed spot between my neck and shoulder and i can feel his smile on my skin.

[irisbleufic]

Of all the bullshit I never expected to be back on with the same intensity of October through December of 2000, Beetlejuice was not it. But I finally got to see the musical yesterday, and the part of me that has adored all 94 episodes of the animated series from the moment I started watching them on ABC Saturday mornings in 1989 just fucking flared—this fond, awful tightness in my chest. It’s the first TV show I ever imprinted on; it’s been with me since childhood. Surreal.

About 4 years into watching the cartoon, I finally saw the live-action movie that the cartoon was based on. I hated it, because it was so malevolent and empty compared to the incredible world-building characters in the animated series. Serious shout-outs to Stephen Ouimette and Alyson Court for all that stunning, hilarious, and often moving voicework.

Now, okay, I need to go back to 2000 again to make this all make sense. I’d watched the show from 1989 until whenever the 4th season ended. It wasn’t until I was in my first semester of college, newly transplanted to New England, that I found a couple folks within my program who had loved the show growing up, too. I ordered all of the episodes on VHS. It was difficult to track them all down in 2000, and it was expensive. But I pulled it off, and we had Friday night watch parties for weeks over the month of October. But that is not where this ends.

I was in the process of winding down the writing I’d been doing on Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow for the entirety of my senior year of high school. Suddenly, I’m in college and watching this fucking cartoon and thinking, there is so much heart in this. How the fuck is there so much heart. I haven’t seen two characters this wholesome codependent in, well, ever. I went looking for forums and mailing lists devoted to the cartoon. I found a mailing list. There were a handful of artists drawing amazing fancomics on there, and they were like, what do you do? Oh. I write. And they were like: do you understand how desperately some of us have wanted fic, but just can’t find it?

That is the wrong thing to say to me when I’m on a downward spiral of realizing I’m not going to escape a fandom without getting myself into a project so long that it’s all I’ll be doing for fucking months on end. If you’re one of the people who knew me back then, you know what I did for those four months in the fall/winter of 2000. I wrote a novel. Sure, I came close to failing a couple of classes, but it was the first time I understood exactly what I was capable of building as a fanwriter. Maybe even as a real writer.

“Time Will Tell” was hosted on a friend’s Angelfire site for a handful of years. People found it via LiveJournal, too, because I linked it there. I put it on AO3 somewhere circa 2012 and took it down again in 2017 because I didn’t feel there was enough interest in it, and also, my 19-year-old editorial foibles and typos were aspects I wanted to amend in it.

The musical took more inspiration from the cartoon than the film. I’m stunned and grateful for that. I found the “Time Will Tell” file buried pretty deep in my Gmail folders. I’ve been reading it since the drive home last night. I just can’t believe there’s now enough of a fandom for me to consider finally polishing it and getting it back online. It’s one of my two oldest surviving pieces of writing.

Anyway, sorry for the Gotham fic delays that I’d been trying to get a handle on. Now that the semester’s over, I feel that getting this thing I wrote twenty-three years ago back to the light of day is the best use of my time for a couple weeks.

If you’re one of the people who read “Time Will Tell” back in the day, thank you. I don’t know how many people out there still remember it beyond maybe ten or so friends I’m still in contact with all these years later. I’m sorry it disappeared for a while.

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sliver of time | 1k | post apocalyptic, minor character death | soonyoung x reader, side seungcheol x reader

for a sliver of time, you had the disillusioned assumption that love would always be the answer. that it would be there, in every corner and in every second of every day, haunting your life, creeping up in dark corners, possessing you on a sleepless night. and it does that–or, at least, it had–for many, many years that have all since slipped away into something akin to a dream. at 9 years old, you had your first crush, mingyu. brown hair, brown eyes, big arms, small head. at 17, you fall in love, seungcheol, a senior, butterflies, insecurities. and at 19, a decade later, you lay up at night, on your side, asking yourself what was real, if anything, screaming for something to hold, crying for something to matter, and begging for love to reappear like an old friend, hand in hand, a center, sturdy, yours.

but when, at 20, the world turns belly side up, lips parted to swallow you and everything you’ve ever called yours whole, love doesn’t extend its hand out to you, nor does it hold you near and dear. instead, it retreats to a dark corner of your mind and whispers, fuck you.

so, maybe love isn’t always the way. the world goes up in flames and you decide to take what you used to know of it and bend it to fit what is.

you’re 22 now. you meet soonyoung. you think you see love, tousled between his locks of hair, wedged into his backpack filled with shit you would have thrown out a year ago–receipts, cards, pictures. a tear falls from your eye. he asks if you’re okay. you blink and the love you thought you saw withers away. there’s blood on his chin. a gun in his hand.

“do you ever feel like you can see shit that doesn’t exist?”

he doesn’t flinch at your question; he laughs. “yeah, like, every time i look in the mirror.”

you can’t tell if he means that he shouldn’t exist or that he doesn’t want to. you don’t find out. instead, he asks where you’re going. “west.”

“what’s west?”

“the sea.”

he laughs again. in the back of your mind, you think that he laughs too much. say what you fucking think, you want to scream. “what?”

he shrugs. “i expected something different.”

“like what?”

“like safety.”

you don’t say anything. safety was the second thing to retreat when the world changed. the fifth thing you bent out of shape to fit the world as it is. the ‘y’ turned upside down, the ‘s’ and ‘t’ pushed away, the rest rearranged and twisted. safety became fear, which fit better at the time. it kept you awake, alive. fear you decided to save; safety you threw away forever by day three.

you cock your gun. “what about you?”

he pulls one of those washed up pictures from his back pocket. “looking for a friend.” you peer over at it, piecing together a face from the faded spots and red splotches. and it hits you all at once, painless but still like a goddamn fucking train. butterflies and insecurities. butterflies and insecurities. a memory resurfaces–a fast press of lips, a smile, the slam of a door shut in your face, a scream, yours or his–you’re still not sure, but what does it fucking matter compared to the flood of blood that runs in through the gap undearneath, pools at your feet, and bleeds all the way through your sneakers. no, you can’t bend this memory out of the world no matter how fiercely you’ve tried to. there’s no rearrangement of anything that can make you forget the feeling of washing his blood off your feet.

you bore into a picture of your first love and fight the urge to vomit.

soonyoung sounds like a kid, hopeful and stupid, when he asks, “do you know him?”

you swore an oath to honesty in third grade. you meant it. you didn’t lie to your parents. you never lied to your friends. even now, post the world of before and right in the middle of the one you’ve made fit, when it would have been the kinder thing to do, you don’t lie to yourself. so you’re not really sure why you look up at the boy, and shake your head. “never seen him.”

he cocks his head to the side. “really?” and there’s something in the way he says it, the lilt in his voice or the twitch of his hand, that makes you think he knows more than he’s letting on. he hands you a letter, sealed. you stare at seungcheol’s handwriting on the face of it, straight and short, your name spelled out, the first time you’ve seen it written in years. “cause he told me to give you this.” the words escape you, running past your throat, wedging themselves into the lining of your stomach. the paper suddenly turns flimsy in your hands, slick with some substance. soonyoung pulls it away from under your eyes. he puts his hands on your shoulders, looks you straight in the eyes and says, “he didn’t die that day.” you ignore the words, snatching the letter back and unfolding the flaps of paper. and there, like some kind of impractical joke, seungcheol has written: maybe love isn’t always the way, but i’d still take your lips any day. soonyoung’s voice breaks. “he died yesterday.”

you look up again at him. there it is. you know it so well. love was there. it existed. but it’s since packed up it’s shit and left. love does that. disappears in the middle of it. you cup soonyoung’s cheek in your hand, inching just barely towards him. you nod at the blood on his chin. “is that his?” he doesn’t respond, but he does nod. so you block the tears streaming down his face and press your lips against the stain.