#okay yeah they're biased as hell

[jayparked]

relief switch | sim jaeyun | m

pairing: switch! sim jaeyun x switch! female reader

genre: smut

au: established relationship

rating: explicit/18+, minors dni

word count: 7k

sexual warnings: switch/soft dom jake and switch y/n, oral (male receiving), fingering, dirty talk, head pusher jake, unprotective sex, non penetrative and penetrative sex, whiny jake, begging, swearing, slight size kink???, thigh riding, hair pulling, lots of praise (praise kink???), spanking, naked dry humping(??? idk what else to call it), pet names (useful girl, sweet boy, good boy/girl, sweetheart, babe, baby, my love etc i practically used them all), body worship, marking, biting, edging, choking, overstimulation, forced orgasm, creampie, a bit of nipple play, roleplay for like .02 seconds, lots of moaning/whimpering/whining, a smidge of degradation, jake is down horrendous, they're so in love it makes me sick, good aftercare :]

a/n: sorry idk what demon possessed me. also shoutout to my best friend @sungbeams this one is for you ♡ and no i am not jayunki biased i dont wanna hear it anymore k thanks ♡

Groans and jangling keys fill your small apartment as you and your boyfriend return home from your prospective jobs at the same time. No words are spoken as you both remove your shoes, throwing them haphazardly with a pout towards the shoe stand near the front entryway. Neither of you bothers to turn on the light, leaving your apartment in a calming darkness as the sun sets outside.

“Today sucked.” Jake finally breaks the silence, leaning against the front door. His eyes shut for a moment as he loosens his tie from his neck. 

“Yeah, tell me about it,” you grumble, hanging up your jacket and sticking your hand out for his without a glance. 

He hands it to you with a sigh. “I’m honestly in a terrible mood. Just a fair warning in case I say something a little mean. I just genuinely do not have an ounce of joy in my body right now.”

Normally, you would be comforting your boyfriend without letting another moment pass by; guiding him to the plump couch and putting on his favorite show, making him his favorite food, snuggling up with him and whispering sweet words in his ear while you run your fingers through his hair until he falls asleep. It’s a foolproof plan for when he’s having a bad day or just needs some extra comfort. 

But, like him, you also do not feel even an ounce of happiness in your own body. And a part of you feels guilty for not being able to swallow it down so you can be there for him properly.

Noticing the difference in your behavior, Jake straightens himself, tilting his head to the side while he looks at you with furrowed brows. 

“You okay, babe? Work doesn’t usually get to you like this. Do you want to talk about it?” He speaks to you with a low softened voice, despite his earlier proclamation.

Vigorously, you shake your head. “It’s just dumb stuff and I know I’m overreacting slightly. I just…I don't know…I kinda wanna just be in a bad mood? Does that make sense?” you chuckle, “I know it sounds dumb but-“

“No, I get it,” stepping towards you, Jake pinches your chin gently between his thumb and pointer finger, “Hell, take it out on me if you need to.”

It might be the way his thumb is lingering along your jawline now, hovering so his skin is only slightly grazing against yours, or the way his eyes darken as he looks at your lips, but something in his words sounds more like a plea than a simple comedic suggestion. 

You narrow your eyes at your boyfriend, trying your best not to convey how instantaneously he takes over your mind and body. It’s dizzying the way he looks you up and down, consuming how you can feel the heat from every slight touch of his hand. 

“How would you like me to take it out on you?” You question with a lowered voice, tilting your head down slightly to flick your eyes more up at him, batting your eye lashes in a way you know he can’t resist. 

His thumb stops moving just below your bottom lip where his eyes also rest. “Well, depends on the type of day you had. Do you need to let out your anger? Pretend I’m your boss and raise your voice, say some absurd things? Or do you need to feel useful?” The more he talks, the lower his tone and volume go, his voice growing softer while his speech slows. To make it worse, at the end of his sentence he releases your lips from his gaze, his deep brown eyes flicking up ever so slightly to meet your own. And you instantly become putty in his hands. 

“Useful,” you mutter, averting your gaze to the side to avoid the smirk you know is displayed on his handsome face.

“Oh, I can put you to use, my love. Knees. Now.” Jake commands with a snap of his finger before pointing it down at the ground and using his other hand to give your bottom lip a quick swipe with his thumb. 

“Right here? In the entryway? What about the bedro-“

“I thought,” he cuts you off, removing his hand from your face to slowly start undoing his belt, “you wanted,” the belt’s on the floor, his hands now unbuttoning his slacks, “to be,” his eyes are locked on yours, “useful,” he growls.

Placing a hand on the back of your head, he leans you forward, giving you a swift tender kiss on the forehead before pushing your head down. 

You fall to your knees quickly, your hands sliding down his torso until they rest at his hips where his slacks are barely hanging on by his growing bulge that you’re now eye level with. 

Between clenched teeth and a sharp inhale of his breath, Jake commands, “Don’t make me have to ask you twice.”

Your hands move without any further hesitation to push his slacks and underwear down from his hips, his hardened member bouncing at the release of the constraints. How is he already this hard? Jake’s weeping cock is already fully stiff and alert, a small bead of precum glistening at his tip, begging for contact. 

Looking straight up at your man, wanting to hold his gaze, you stick your tongue out and give him a long lick from the base of his member to just below the bulbous part of his tip. Jake’s head falls back against the door, his eyes fluttering to the back of his head as one of his hands reaches for your hair. He strokes it gently at first before giving a warning tug. 

“Please,” he whines softly with an airy gasp, eyes still closed, “not today. Don’t tease me today, Y/n.”

Even though he’s not looking, you still smile up at him fondly. Just for a moment, savoring the desperate look on his face before swirling your tongue along his tip. 

Jake’s body trembles, mouth open slightly as he sucks in a breath. Then suddenly, he opens his eyes. They narrow down at you with a darkness that loudly tells you he is not planning on warning you again. Jake places both of his hands around your head, palms brushing your temples as he lines your mouth to his cock. 

You hold his eye contact as you open your mouth and wait for him. 

You don’t have to wait long. Jake has never been the patient type. And when it comes to you sucking him off? He was never really good at playing around and teasing and for sure did not like to have that patience tested.

Slowly, but steadily, Jake pushes himself into your mouth until your nose brushes his abdomen. Stifling a gag, you moan against his body and try to maintain your focus. His entire body shivers as he holds you in place, hands still cupping your face lightly as your eyes flutter shut. It takes everything in you to try to remember to breathe through your nose, or really, to remember to breathe at all. Which seems ridiculous but, in this moment, every cell of your body is consumed by him. 

Jake’s head falls back against the doorframe yet again, an intense inhale goes in through his nose and his lips form in a tight line. He may have tried to contain his moans but couldn’t suppress a deep, guttural groan from ripping out deep within his throat.

“Fuuuckkk, baby. How do you always take me so well?” His thumbs brush at the tears welling up under your eyes, a soft, fond smile forming on his face. 

The softness of his features only lasts for a moment before he starts moving his hips with a perfect cadence, relentlessly fucking your throat.

“That’s my good, useful girl,” Jake slowly groans. With each thrust that has him hitting the back of your throat, you try to focus on your breathing even more. Your goal is to not gag, no matter how much your body wants to, no matter how much you know he would love it. He’s claimed in the past that hearing you gag on him alone gives him an insane ego boost. But feeling it? Oh he couldn’t contain himself. Knowing he’s too big for his perfect girl but she tries her best to please him anyways? One of the best feelings a guy could ever hope to experience.

And because of this, Jake knows exactly when you’re on the brink of hitting your limit. As much as he would love to chase his own pleasure, he’s choosing to think outside of himself and knows you need this more than he does.

One of Jake’s hands moves to grab a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back and your mouth off of his slick cock, leaving a string of saliva connecting the two of your bodies together. 

Jake kneels down until he’s face to face with you, holding your face in his hands as he looks in your eyes. “That’s all I needed. Now, let me get a good look at you.”

His grip makes it impossible for you to look away. All you can muster out is a slight moan in protest, your bottom lip jutting out as you furrow your eyebrows. Thumbs catching some runaway tears from under your eyes, Jake lets out a low chuckle, peppering quick kisses along your face.

“As good as you make me feel,” he starts, guiding you up to your feet and leading you towards the bedroom, “it’s not how I want to come.”

“But I barely even-”

“Shhh,” Jake abruptly pushes you up against the wall in the hallway, his lust filled eyes combing over the spots where his hands roam all over your body, “it’s okay, baby. That’s all the use I needed from you. You did amazing. Let me make you feel good now.”

Gently and slowly, at first, he kisses your lips, moving your arms so they wrap around his neck. Muscle memory has your hands interlocking in his hair at his nape, giving a slight tug which elicits a sweet groan from your man. It doesn’t take long after that for the kiss to deepen, Jake moving one his knees to press against your clothed heat. He pulls away from you briefly to look in your eyes, looks down at his knee then back up at you, giving you an encouraging nod, his eyes wide and eager, swimming with excited anticipation.

You look deeply into Jake’s eyes as you lower your core down to his thigh, holding his gaze as you slowly move yourself along his muscle. You can’t hold in the soft whine that comes out as you finally feel some friction on your needy clit. Jake loves and hates when you hold eye contact and moan like this, claiming it’s an unfair use of power. He shakes slightly under your touch, gripping your hips tightly enough to surely leave some marks. He tries to hold your eye contact, but can’t help as his eyes roll back, his body moving closer to yours to grind with you.

“Fuuckkk, baby,” Jake lulls out, “you really needed me this badly?” He continues to grip your hips, now guiding you along his thigh. His assistance reveals his own desperation. Jake pushes you down harder against him while simultaneously moving you back and forth at a faster pace. Pretty little desperate whines come out of him as he stares hazeley at your lips.

“Mmmm, sweet boy, look at you. So desperate to make me feel good, hm?” It was hard to talk like this in this position you’re in. Too easy it would be to give into your boyfriend’s ministrations, too easy it would be to give in to your own wants and pleasures. 

“Please use me now.” Jake’s grip on your hips tighten. Your wincing muddles amongst his moans as he grinds you harder against his thigh. 

“Please, baby,” he begs again, his yearning glossed over eyes meet your gaze once more. A lightning shock shoots down to your already throbbing core, “Please need me.”

That is your last straw. 

“Oh my- I need you so badly, Jake. I can't take this teasing foreplay anymore. I need to feel you inside me. Baby, please.” 

Switch flipping yet again, Jake doesn’t hesitate and wraps both of your legs around his waist, now carrying you to the bedroom while you feverishly kiss along his neck and jawline, leaving a pretty trail of love marks as you go.

He walks towards the room with long confident strides, holding you up easily with one hand as he opens the door. And once you’re both inside, he closes the door behind him with a simple kick of his foot, not even bothering to look back as he does so. 

Laying you down softly on the bed, Jake’s jaw clenches as he works to fully undress himself. As he’s unbuttoning his shirt, he smiles softly at you and leans forward, connecting his lips with yours yet again. The kiss is soft, delicate, as his fingers continue to work against the stiff buttons of his shirt. Your body relaxes against the kiss, your mouths molding together with familiarity, tongues swimming messily with each other in a familiar dance. 

Finally, his top is fully undone but he doesn’t take it off. As for his pants, he’s long forgotten those somewhere near the front door of your shared apartment. Jake doesn’t hesitate with removing your clothes, practically ripping them from your body. He’s fueled by his need to see you naked and needs to see you now.

Your chest rises even faster as your skin is now exposed, your boyfriend taking a moment to marvel at your physic. 

“You are so damn beautiful,” he grumbles as he gets on all fours, crawling on the bed until he’s hovering over you, using one hand to pump his length a few times for good measure. He bites his bottom lip as he looks down at himself and back up at you, the sparkle in his eyes all too telling how excited he is to dive right in and ruin you.

“Are you ready for me, sweetheart?” He holds himself at your entrance, body frozen in place as he looks into your eyes with those big pleading puppy dog eyes of his that always has you on your knees. You could never say no to him when he looks at you like this. How he manages to look so adorable and sexy at the same time will forever be a mystery to you.

“If we wait any longer I might actually lose my mind,” you huff, leaning forward to cup both of your hands on his cheeks, pulling him forward into a savory deep kiss. Jake’s eyes immediately flutter shut as you guide him down with you, his lips hungrily chasing after your own. Before your head even hits the pillows, Jake blindly inserts his tip inside your cunt, the sensation making you gasp against him.

Jake chuckles against your mouth, taking the chance to quickly pepper sweet kisses around your entire face. “Hmm? Didn’t think I’d be able to do it without looking? Darling I know your body better than anyone else. I could find this pussy anywhere.” The confident smirk on his face pulls you in even deeper to his charms.

His words make you clench around him, making your boyfriend wince slightly.

“So tight. Even though it’s just my tip. I guess I should have taken the time to prep you properly. I’m sorry, darling, this might sting.”

And, without another word, Jake pushes himself forward, his cock sliding into you painfully slow. Each inch stretching you further and further as your body desperately tries to adjust as quickly as it can. A mix between a choked moan and a gasp leaves your lips while Jake turns his head to the side to sink his teeth into the flesh of your shoulder, small whimpers coming from him in return.

Wanting to hear more from him, you take one hand and intertwine your fingers in his wavy black locks, tugging slightly so his head is lifted from the crook of your neck. Now that he’s facing you, you can properly look him in the eyes while he whimpers again, this time from the tugging on his scalp. Jake’s bottom lip juts out at you, his puppy eyes are back, pleading for something unknown to you. 

Despite his pouty demeanor, Jake is still rocking his hips back and forth, pounding into you at a satiable rhythm. The dynamic between you two might seem confusing to anyone on the outside looking in, but the satisfaction from being with someone who’s both submissive and dominant all at the same time is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. Plus, it allows you the space to give the same in return. Taking turns between caring for each others needs to then be the one receiving fulfills you in more ways than you can even begin to explain.

“Aw don’t give me those eyes, pretty boy. You know how it makes me melt,” you sigh, eyes rolling back as you roll your hips in time with his thrusts.

“Let me leave marks on you then.” Jake doesn’t wait for a response. He quickly grabs your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging softly before sucking. Words completely escape your brain as he releases you, smirking before diving back down against your neck. Your brain starts to feel dizzy as he adjusts his hips, fixing the angle of his thrusts ever so slightly to where he knows he’ll hit your g-spot. He nips at the flesh below your ear, right in the spot that sends chills down your entire body. At this point, your clit is throbbing and it’s your turn to become a pouty, moany mess.

“Use your words, Y/n,” Jake chuckles against your neck, giving one last bite before flatting his tongue on the sensitive area. 

When he doesn’t hear you say anything in response to his command, he sits himself up so he’s looking in your eyes. One of his eyebrows quirks up, waiting for your response. When you still won’t give it to him, he stops his languid movements and slowly pulls himself out of you with a tsk tsk tsk.

“I know you know better than to ignore me.” He licks his lips slowly and leans forward, his face now hovering directly over yours. Your chest is rising and falling quickly, not realizing how out of breath you were from only such a short time of contact with him. Jake’s head tilts to the side, his eyes darkening ever so slightly as his impatience takes over. Suddenly, one of his hands is lingering over your throat, his thumb lightly brushing against your esophagus. 

“Now, beautiful. Why are we being so stubborn all of a sudden? Why aren’t you talking to me?” He releases your throat by moving his hand upward just a bit, his thumb moves along your jawline then up some more to trace along the outside of your bottom lip. Tingles and chills naturally erupt throughout your body with every soft touch he leaves on your skin. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed since you two have been together, Jake still has this unwavering affect on your mind, body and soul. Subconsciously your body communicates with his, going well beyond needing words at times.

But that doesn’t mean Jake doesn’t want to hear them still.

“I know you want something. It’s so easy to tell with the way you’re moaning and the way your hips are bucking up against me. Just say the words and it’s yours.”

It’s stupid to try to compete with him. No matter how hard of a stubborn fight you could try to conjure up, Jake always wins. 

Always.

“I want you to play with my clit while you fuck me,” you whine, drawing out the last syllables in an unmistakably ‘you can’t say no to me’ way, shaking your shoulders, closing your eyes and jutting out your lower lip for extra affect. He might be the one to win every time it comes to stubbornness, but no one can deny the fight you put up when it comes to pouting, begging, and pleading.

“Ugh, baby don’t give me that look, please,” Jake rolls off of you, now on his back beside you with one arm covering his eyes, “I just want to hear you say what you want. I love listening to your demands. It's so sexy when you tell me what you need.”

“Would it be even sexier if I just do it?”

Jake moves his arm slightly to look at you with a questioning yet excited gaze. His hesitation and agape mouth is all the answer you needed.

Without letting another second pass, in one swift motion you’re now on top of him; both legs straddling either side of his thighs and your core hovering dangerously close to his cock.

“Fuck,” he mumbles, hands up in the air somewhat similar to a surrender pose. Jake’s eyes dart all across your body, genuinely not knowing what to do. His mind races with all the places he wants to put his hands on you, all the things he wants to do and say to you. It’s happening so fast that he’s stuck in a frozen state.

You place one hand confidently on his chest, making sure he stays put. It’s your turn to hover your face over his, taunting him with what looks like is going to be a kiss, but you pull back at the last second, smirking at the dumbfounded look on your boyfriend’s face.

“Haven’t you ever heard the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’?” You tease.

“Oh yes, I have,” he nods quickly, eyes wide as he licks his lips hungrily, his hands now resting comfortably (and cockily) behind his head, “but I think I could still use a demonstration.”

With a smirk, you lean down and kiss his plump lips. It’s slow and intentional, setting the pace of not wanting to get too lost in the moment. After a few languid exchanges, you lower your hips down until finally, finally, your still sopping cunt makes contact with his length. You know he expects you to be just as impatient as him, to just grind against him a couple times before finally letting him back inside you.

But that would just be too easy.

You slowly start to grind against him, moving back and forth slowly. You press down harder against him when you get close to his tip, making the poor boy moan louder and louder each time you do so. Almost immediately your slick is coating him, the friction now even more satisfying the more you grind against him.

“Ugh…Y/n…baby…put me in already,” he begs, his eyes clenched tightly shut, “Put me in so I can start playing with your clit like you wanted.” Beads of sweat start to trickle down his temples, his cheeks flushed a glowing shade of pink. You silently ignore his pleas, wordlessly picking up your pace and pressure. Jake’s hands fly to your hips, nails digging into your skin at a satisfying grip. At first, you thought he was going to attempt to stop your movements. But, to your amusement, he’s only assisting you more. He guides your hips along his length while bucking his hips upward. You’re desperately trying to revel in the absolute mess of a sight your boyfriend is below you, but the friction against your clit is getting harder and harder to ignore. Jake’s eyes are still shut tight, his bottom lip now quivering as a slew of please’s and an array of petnames leave those pretty lips of his. At this point, your brain is so hazy you can’t even make out anything he’s saying.

Eyes focusing on those quivering lips, you lean in once again, this time more hungry and desperate than before. Going straight for that bottom lip of his, you pull it between your teeth, groaning with him as you feel his cock twitch between your other lips. 

“Baby, please. If you don’t slow down I’m going to come.” His legs are starting to tremble beneath you as he desperately tries to find relief and restraint in the same action. His composure is cracking more and more. 

And you only want to do as you're told.

So, with a smirk, you slow your pace to a painstakingly slow one. From quick and harsh movements to slow, drawn out romantic ones, Jake is immediately regretting his word choice.

If it’s any consolation at all, it’s just as torturous for you as it is for him. The moans and whines you’ve been trying to trap within yourself are letting loose and competing with the whimpering man beneath you. The longer you draw this out, the harder it is for you to keep your own composure, quickly forgetting the punchline to the joke you’re playing on him.

“Fu-fuck, oh my god. I can’t- I can’t take this anymore, baby. Please, let me come. I need to come,” he pleads with a shaking voice, head thrown back against the pillows so that the muscles in his neck strain. In this position he’s proudly displaying the bright love marks you’ve left along his delicate skin. Seeing those marks ignites something truly primal within you, knowing that he is all yours and everyone, stranger or familiar, will know it without a doubt. Jake always wears your marks proudly after the fact too, claiming that if anyone has an issue with it they’re just immature and jealous that he gets fucked so well and they don’t. It’s a part of what makes marking him up even more arousingly special. Plus, it’s not like he doesn’t do the same to you. The running joke at both of your places of employment is that whenever either of you come in with a new scarf or turtle neck it’s to maintain what little bit of professionalism you have left. But if anyone asks about it…neither you nor Jake are shy of pulling down the garments and displaying the pretty bruises in any coloring stage they may currently be in.

“You want to come now?” You finally speak up. Jake’s muscles start to twitch all throughout his body at the sound of your sultry tone. You watch as he bites down on his bottom lip hard, gripping your hips even tighter as he desperately tries to hang on for just a little bit longer.

Jake finally opens his eyes to give you that irresistible pleading stare. “Yes, please.”

“Such a needy boy, all ready to come without even being inside of me,” you coo and Jake just whimpers in response. You lean your head down next to his ear, making sure he feels the warmth of your shaky breath as you tell your sweet boy to come for you, eliciting a quick bite on his earlobe.

Of course, you do this while guiding your cunt only along the tip of his cock now, thankfully (in Jake’s mind at least) picking up speed once again. Jake’s mouth falls open in the perfect ‘O�� shape, his moans coming out in gasps and he looks in your eyes. Mere moments later you feel his cock spasm beneath you, his hips bucking up as he sits up slightly, spurts of cum shooting past your folds and onto his stomach.

He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close against him as his chest rises and falls quickly. Jake whimpers and nuzzles his face into the side of your neck, leaving soft desperate kisses where he can. In turn you wrap your arms around his shoulders and rest your head against his. Soft murmurs of praise and comfort leave your lips as you rub your thumb in small circles against his bare skin. You both stay like this for a moment, you not caring about the pause in intimate physical action. In your relationship, this moment of sex is the most intimate you can be with one another and it’s something you cherish deeply. Knowing that the both of you put the other person's needs and comforts before their own is something unique to you both.

The heartfelt moment doesn’t last as long as it usually does though, because before you can even blink you find yourself with your back now on the bed and Jake with a devilish smirk looming above you.

“My turn,” he snarls, grabbing your hips roughly and flipping you onto your stomach. Time isn’t wasted with your impatient man as he pulls your hips towards him, placing a hand between your shoulder blades to keep your head down.

A loud smack followed by your body wincing, Jake rubs his hand soothingly on the mound of your ass that he just spanked. He’s cooing something under his breath, but your heart beating loudly in your ears keeps you from hearing what he’s saying exactly.

You’re about to ask him to repeat himself, turning your head so you can see him properly, when he smacks his hand across your butt harder than before. 

“Did I say you can move? Face back down.”

The growl in his undertone sends shivers down your spine, eyes widening as you turn back and do as you're told. 

Not long after that you feel three of Jake’s fingers push deep into your cunt, pistoning in and out at an insane speed, especially considering he hasn’t properly warmed you up. 

You cry out in surprise, gasping into the bedsheets while the friction and lack of proper build up confuses your body. All the tension from before blooms inside you and you can't believe you’re already feeling that white heat about to burst inside you. 

“You’re already clenching around my fingers,” Jake chuckles in surprise, not relenting on his speed as he continues to scissor his digits inside of you, “oh my poor needy baby, you’re absolutely soaking me.”

You shut your eyes tightly, trying to think of anything to hold onto your sanity. You absolutely cannot come this quickly, you’ll never hear the end of it from Jake. You wouldn’t put it past him to brag to everyone and anyone he knows about it too, it must be some kind of record, right? Making your girlfriend come in less than a minute? Maybe even less than thirty seconds? Yeah there’s no way you can let him have this one. But fuck, he really knows how to curl those fingers perfectly within you, beckoning your release with aggressive tender strokes.

Tears prick your eyes and you can’t stay still, grasping at the bedsheets frantically while you try to adjust your body to avoid the inevitable. 

“Not so funny when the tables are turned, huh?” Jake chuckles menacingly, speeding up his pace and flicking his thumb against your throbbing clit. It feels like he’s about to split you in two with his fingers alone and your entire body is at war with itself – unsure if it loves the contact or wants to get away.

“As soon as you come I’ll give you my cock again. That’s all you gotta do.” He states plainly, almost nonchalantly, eyes focused as he watches his fingers drill in and out of your hole, unknowingly pushing you right over the edge and perfectly into his trap.

Everything blurs as your release erupts. Moans of pleasure and surprise fill the room while Jake grabs ahold of your hips, rooting you in place. 

“That’s it, baby. I’ve got you. Just needed to hear my voice to get you to come undone, hmm?” His one hand roams over the mound of your ass while he murmurs to you, fingers still languidly pumping in and out of you. Your muscles are finally starting to relax, legs still shaking as your breath catches up with you. Just as you’re about to collapse into the bed, Jake says one word that has your eyes opening wide in surprise.

“Ready?”

You open your mouth to ask ‘Ready for what?’ but before you can get the words out your cunt is deliciously stretched, now filled to the brim with your boyfriend’s throbbing cock. 

“Ah-aahhh,” Jake sighs, “you’re still so tight holy shit.”

You jolt forward as you feel his tip kiss the edges of your walls. Pulsing around him, you’re still sore from the damage his fingers did just moments before. Jake’s hands move from your hips and roam your body, admiring everything about you as he gives you a moment to adjust to his girth. His hair tickles between your shoulder blades as he leans forward to plant chaste kisses across your skin, groans singing out between each one that he leaves. His cock twitches inside of you and you know it’s taking everything in him to keep calm and still. Even his breathing is becoming rigid and off beat.

Wordlessly, he lifts himself up and slowly pulls himself away from you until just his tip is inside. It’s like you can hear his brain churning with thoughts and ideas, but you know his brain fog can get just as bad as yours and he’s probably lost in the moment.

Now that you’ve had a taste of him, though, you’re not letting him off so easily.

“Jaakkeeee,” you whine, wiggling your ass slightly to get his attention, which only backfires and makes your body flinch with the feeling of him still partially inside of you.

“I’m trying not to go crazy here.” He laughs. You turn your head to look over your shoulder and see your boyfriend's eyes glued to where you’re both connected.

With a warning bite to your tone, you mutter his name again and he groans in response, biting down hard on his bottom lip before chuckling to himself.

“Alright. You asked for it.” He snaps his hips forward and slams his cock deep into you again. Instead of starting a slow rhythmic pace he thrusts quick and hard. Your body is pressed firmly into the mattress with the way he’s holding you down, his grip stronger than you’ve ever felt in the past.

The pace he’s set is dizzying, pounding you deep into the mattress as the sounds of your squelching wetness fills the room. Your body doesn’t even get a chance to fully appreciate the bliss he’s bringing you before your system is shocked again and again and again.

“Gonna fuck you till you’re good and dumb, all you’ll be able to say is my name,” he grunts, giving a deep smack to your ass before grabbing your hips and pulling you back and forth with his thrusts.

Normally you’d giggle at him in response, but fuck he might actually be fucking you stupid. Moans, whines, and his name is truly all your lips can form. You want to scream out how good he’s making you feel, but each time his cock slams against your sweet spot your eyes roll to the back of your head and you lose any coherent thought that was trying to form inside your brain.

None of it goes unnoticed, of course. Jake is a very observant and attentive boyfriend in every sense. 

“What? Five seconds with my dick inside you and you lose your mind? Who knew you would be such a cock hungry little slut.”

“Just…just for you.” Is all you manage to gasp out knowing how much Jake loves to hear how you only go crazy for him.

“Fuck.” His thrusts quicken despite his already relentless pace. Jake pulls your hips upwards ever so slightly, but it’s enough to change the angle, his tip now hitting a perfect bullseye against your sweet spot. The force of his body slamming into yours doesn’t give you a chance. Before you know it, you’re coming undone yet again, body shaking as you gush all over his cock.

“You’re coming so quickly tonight, baby. Work really has had you all pent up. Don’t worry, just hang on a little bit longer and then you can rest, okay?” Jake kisses the spot between your shoulder blades again, one of his hands reaching around to grab at your breasts. He tweaks at your perked nipple as his pace becomes sloppy and uneven, his head resting on your back as his hips continue to snap back and forth. Small whimpers leave his lips as he chases his second release that he’s been holding onto for so long now.

“Mmm, fuck, baby, you’re squeezing me so tight,” he whines, lifting his head up and placing his hands back on your hips.

Three more thrusts is all he has left in him. On the final thrust he grinds his hips harshly against you, making sure his cock is as deep in your cunt as it can possibly be as he spills his seed deep within your clenching walls.

The warmth weirdly soothes you through your overstimulated body. Being full of him like this makes you feel even closer to him and it’s something you’ll never get tired of. Feeling his cock twitch relentlessly inside you is addicting, your body trembles with satiated pleasure around him, wishing this feeling never had to end.

“Fuck that was a lot,” Jake mutters to himself. You feel him spilling out of you even with his cock still stuffed inside of you. You chance a look back at your boyfriend and marvel at the sight of him; wavy hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, his eyes fluttering slightly from bliss and tiredness, and his beautifully plump lips parted slightly as he tries to regain his breath. It’s a breathtaking sight, and one you’ll never truly get used to seeing.

All too soon, Jake slowly pulls himself out of you. The loss of contact from him has you wanting to throw a mini fit, but you’re too tired to fight for it. Plus, it’s not like you’ll be feeling this emptiness for long. The likelihood of you being woken up in the middle of the night with your boyfriend between your thighs, lapping up the previous night's leftover reminiscence, is very high. Once is never enough when it comes to Sim Jaeyun.

After a moment, your boyfriend helps you flip over onto your back, nessling himself against your warm body as you try to catch your breath. Your arm wraps around him automatically, holding him as close to your beating heart as you can muster.

Silent minutes pass by. Both of your chests finally fall into a calm and matching rhythmic beat and his skin isn’t feeling as hot to the touch as it was moments ago.

With a groan, Jake sits himself up and stretches his arms over his head, letting out a satisfied sigh as he brings them back down.

Turning to you, Jake leans down and presses a light kiss to your forehead, his lips quivering slightly as his body still recovers from the intense orgasm. Wobbling slightly, Jake leaves the bedroom and flicks on the bathroom light, returning in a short minute with a paper towel. Wordlessly, he tilts your chin up with a delicate hand, fingers tracing outlines of your skin as he carefully collects the sweat from your face. And he continues this down your entire body, even opening your legs to gain access so he can clean the cum from between your legs.

He leaves again, probably throwing out the paper towel, obviously. Jake doesn’t return empty handed though. Water droplets intertwine between his fingers as the condensation slips from the water bottle he has in hand. He sits down on the bed again, smiling at you softly as he uncaps the water bottle, motioning with his head for you to sit up.

You do as you're told, wincing slightly as you truly get a feel for how sore you are. Everything hurts. The muscles in your legs, your still pulsating clit, your insides, literally everything. You scoot backwards so you can rest against the headboard and reach for the water bottle in Jake’s hand. He pulls it away, shaking his head as he tells you to open your mouth.

How could you not smile slightly as you tilt your head back, water dribbling down the sides of your chin as your boyfriend giggles next to you, cupping his hand under your face to catch the escaping water, as if that would do anything.

Cheeks full of water and eyes twinkling, you take a moment to look into Jake’s eyes. Something pangs lovingly deep within your chest as you’re met with the same look of adoration on his own face. It’s a moment where it feels like time has stopped, the world spinning by as you two live comfortably in your own little world.

Jake sighs as he tilts his head, a sweet innocent smile painted on his face while his shoulders relaxe, still holding your gaze. “I love you.”

All you can do to keep yourself from getting too teary eyed is jut out your bottom lip and hold out your arms to him. Jake smiles again and crawls towards you, the water bottle now resting on the nightstand, his head finding solace on your chest while the rest of his body sits like a weighted blanket between your legs.

Like magnets, your fingers instantly go to his hair, softly running along his scalp while lightly tugging on the wavy strands. Jake sighs with relief and you just know his eyes are already closed. His arms wrap around your waist, squeezing slightly as he buries his face upward to rest in the crook of your neck.

“I love you too,” you whisper back followed by a gentle kiss to the top of his head. You feel his lips brush against your neck in a lazy and comforting reply.

Your hands move lower, massaging the muscles of his back as you both go back and forth mumbling and murmuring about how you appreciate each other. The horrid day long forgotten as you lay peacefully within each other’s arms, knowing no matter what tomorrow or any future day may bring, you’ll always have a safe home with one another.

a/n: ♡ pls like, comment, and reblog if you enjoyed! ♡ masterlist all rights reserved jayparked 10/18/24 do not copy, repost, or translate want to be added to my tag list? click here

[evilminji]

Been Watching Weird Fruit Explorer(?)... and I just...

W-Who let Bored Danny have BooTube?

Sorry, YOU-Tube. He has TWO Apps now. BooTube is bigger. Way more random, yet... somehow more niche? Meh. It's what happens when you get billions of billions of people who all have their own Obsessions to rant over, on a site.

Ember's channel is pretty lit, tho, ngl.

He stopped using YOU-Tube almost overnight. Too many ads, weird algorithmic pushiness. No thanks. It was too small and too "trying to take my money". You know?

Buuuuut? See.... TUCKER is the Tech guy.

Coding and that sort of stuff. HE does hands on work. You want a toaster? He can MAKE you a toaster! With LAZERS! Runs off The Goo! But a program? Eeeeeeeh? Hit it with hammer maybe? Monkey make fire? Hit with stick? Blergh.

Yeah, he can SORTA push through.

But he suuuucks.

And like... he had a headache, okay? His project had just, quiet literally, exploded in his face. So when he looked at his phone? All the apps were blobs. He clicked the one that LOOKED kinda right. Shoved his arm in his phone and brute forced a channel set up.

He figured he could ramble about Space!

It's not like he cared is anyone LISTENS or not! It's a "for him" thing, you know? Like a diary. But more... putting on a ☆~show~☆?

So he rambles from the floor of his Lair's Lab, crashs and wails in the distance, green sky occasionally visible as he lazily floats by windows. Dropping... juuuust past human knowledge understanding of Space. Talking like he's STUDYING somewhere. Referencing PAPERS no human will ever be able to find.

But a few they WILL.

Some of which, are currently? Only half written.

But then? Oh YEAH... he should eat! You know... Sam keeps bringing him fruits and veggies and stuff from her internship at that Botanical Lair. Stuff never seen before of Earth. Or hasn't been seen in centuries.

Again, like, a FEW that? Randomly? Have???

He picks up something sharply purple, bright orange insides. Crisp crunch. He makes a face. And starts to ramble about it, distracted from Space. "Weirdly mushroom-y" he notes. "Kinda bubblegum sweet? But like... CHEAP bubblegum. Like it hits you all at once and is kinda chemically. But it disappears real fast? Huh. Spicy too..."

It's the first video on the Playlist. One of hundreds. Two of the green Lanterns RECONIZE that fruit ad HIGHLY toxic to humans, can't recognize what planet they're seeing. Or how this alien teen got himself on YouTube.

He seems... unaware of how incredibly famous he's become.

But his strange techno Pharoah friend has not. HE is both perfectly aware and apparently amused. Has taken to feeding him rare and hazardous flora and fauna, to see if it tastes good.

....there have been an alarming number of plants from dead planets.

And the comments the kid makes? Alarming as hell.

Sam's just pleased everybody's getting their greens. Danny's glad him n tuck get to hang and do "try weird foods and fuck around, bro time". They've made lazers! Talked about stuff! Debated why Martian Manhunter is THE superior Justice League member.

Danny understands. Wonder Woman is a BAMF. But he's biased, Tucker. He doesn't CARE if she has a sword and flowy, impressive locks! Shape-shifting telepath! From MARS!!! *imaginary mic drop*

And Tucker? Is conquering the YouTube scene with this charming, weird, relatable young alien. Who rambles about Space, debates nerd stuff, eats weird plants and describes them, and makes sci-fi technology! Theme? WHAT THEME? Phantom is a weird channel, man. You never know what you'll find!

And no one can get rid of it.

Believe them, governments have TRIED. Censorship? Not possible. Not without removing the whole SITE.

[edenesth]

MOOT GAME: " make up a trope for your moots and their biases. doesn’t need to be romantic. can be crackfic/funny/anything you want ^ㅇ(๑>◡<๑)ㅇ^ "

Dear Soulmate

I'm sorry it took me so long, anon! I didn't know how to approach this and was waiting for a friend to do it first🙈

For my one and only, my pookie, @itstheghostofmypast💖

Choi San — soulmate au (idiots to lovers)

In a world where soulmates exist, most people discover their other halves before reaching twenty-five, you struggle to find yours, even when he had been right in front of you all along. You've witnessed those around you revelling in the bliss of finding their destined partners, all the while blindly awaiting your own.

"I cannot believe this, I'm dying alone!" you cried.

"Pooks, he'll come when the timing's right, I just know it," Eve, your closest friend and platonic soulmate, reassured you, wrapping you in a comforting embrace as you poured out your frustration. Despite being on the cusp of turning 26, your soulmate remained elusive.

"How did you and Hwa find each other again?" you asked, desperate for answers.

Eve sighed, "Whenever one of us gets hurt, a flower tattoo appears on the other in the same spot of their body. You know how clumsy I am, he found me through those blossoms. But each soulmate pair has their own unique connection. Haven't you felt anything special?"

See, in this world with soulmates, each pair discovers their connection in their own way. There's no universal formula, and you despised that fact vehemently. It only added unnecessary complexity to the already challenging quest for love.

Your parents had found each other through their inner voices, where their internal voices are the other's instead of their own. Your sister had found her soulmate through a compass on her body that led her to where her other half is.

And then there was you. Nothing. Nada. Niente. Absolutely nothing at all.

And as your birthday drew near this year, panic set in. You'd soon be a year older than the age when most people found their soulmates. Maybe you didn't have one, maybe he died, maybe he got aborted as a foetus, maybe—

"Woah, woah, just take a deep breath, everything will be okay," your friend reassured, trying her best to help in any way possible, "Hey, didn't you say you've been having a lot of dreams lately? And it's always that same dream?"

You blew a raspberry in frustration, "Yeah, but I doubt my recent dreams have anything to do with my soulmate, assuming I even have one. They're always about that art museum I go to on weekends. I think it's just because I spend so much time there."

She pondered for a moment, "Wait a minute, didn't you mention that San guy you always see there? What if—"

"Oh, hell no," you exclaimed, shuddering at the possibility of that annoyingly gorgeous mountain of a man being your destined lover, "I'd rather be alone forever than end up with someone like him."

It all happened on a day when you sought solace at the museum after a taxing week at school. Exhausted from dealing with incompetent classmates and antagonistic professors, you longed for a moment of peace as you approached your cherished spot in the corner. But to your dismay, you discovered an ignorant man occupying not just one seat, but the entire bench with his belongings. And not just any bench, your bench, the one everyone knew better than to occupy.

So you did the first thing that came to mind, you might have uttered some unkind words out of irritation. Looking back, you acknowledge it was all very unnecessary, considering it was likely his first visit to the museum and he clearly didn't realise it was your spot. However, your pride prevented you from admitting fault.

Consequently, he responded with equal unpleasantness. Even the museum guards had to intervene before things escalated into a fight. Like dealing with children, they persuaded both of you to share the bench since there was clearly more than enough space for two.

You adamantly refused to yield your spot and relocate, asserting your presence since you were here first. Similarly, it seemed his foolish pride prevented him from budging as well; thus, you both found yourselves locked in a silent standoff, exchanging wary glances as you engaged in a weekly silent war.

"Ugh, was hoping I wouldn't have to see your face today," San sneered, earning a glare from you as you settled down beside him. You were running slightly late, having trouble getting up after yet another frustrating dream, one slightly more annoying than usual.

Deliberately nudging his bag aside with irritation, you narrowed your eyes, "You wish, loser. This spot is mine, and it's staying that way."

He smirked in response, "Someone's in a foul mood, but then again, when are you not? Hope it's not because of that dream where your precious bench gets snatched away for good."

"Shut the hell up—"

You stopped short, a sudden realisation hitting you like a ton of bricks. You hadn't shared that dream with anyone, not even Eve. No one should know about it except... No freaking way. He couldn't possibly be the one you've been waiting for all this time. It seemed too absurd to be true. Why, out of all people, would fate pair you with this insufferable, infuriating, irksome yet undeniably attractive, bastard?

"Surprise, genius. It's me, your soulmate."

"I knew," he confessed, his voice carrying frustration and resignation, "I knew from the moment I saw you that you were my other half. That's why I came here in the first place, why I was in this exact spot."

Your breath hitched as his words sank in. All this time, he had known, yet he had still chosen to engage in your petty conflicts.

"But when I met you," he continued, "I was excited, hopeful even. But your attitude, your stubbornness... it's unbearable. As much as I feel the pull towards you, I can't ignore how immensely annoyed I am by your behaviour."

His words landed like a punch to the gut.

"I know that if I had a choice in who my soulmate is," he admitted, his gaze intense, "it would never be you."

After a moment of processing his words, you gritted your teeth in anger, "Well, joke's on you, buddy. I don't want you either. Maybe it would be best for both of us if you stop showing up here from now on."

Days turned into weeks, and true to your request, San ceased his visits to the museum. At first, you felt a strange sense of relief, but soon, that relief morphed into a tumult of conflicting emotions.

You didn't know how to feel. Did you truly mean what you said, or were those words simply born out of anger? Your emotions were a tangled mess. On one hand, you had just turned away your soulmate after yearning for his presence for so long. On the other hand, you couldn't shake the resentment that it had to be him, of all people. Part of you longed to be near him, to reconcile and embrace your destiny. But another part recoiled at the thought, recoiled at the frustration his presence brought.

Unbeknownst to you, San wasn't doing much better. His heart felt hollow, the absence of your presence leaving a gaping void. He tried to carry on with his life as before, but the weight of your rejection hung heavy on his shoulders. But his pride also kept him from reaching out to you.

He suppressed the pull towards you, buried it beneath layers of denial and indifference. But no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, your essence lingered in his dreams, haunting him with visions of what could have been.

Then, one day, fate intervened in a way neither of you could have predicted. You fell ill with food poisoning and ended up in the hospital. In a panic, San saw it in his dream, a vision of you lying pale and weak in a hospital bed. Without hesitation, he raced to your side, his heart pounding with fear. As he stood in the hospital room, watching over you, he realised the depth of his feelings. Despite everything, he couldn't deny the truth any longer. You were his soulmate, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing you.

You furrowed your brows at his unexpected appearance, "What the hell are you doing here? Who invited you?"

His heart sank at your coldness, but before he could form a response, Eve intervened, giving you a playful smack on the shoulder, "Stop it, you! He came all this way, and you're still going to be mean to him?" Turning to San with a warm smile, she continued, "You must be San! I'm Eve, her best friend. It's nice to finally meet you. Oh, and please don't take her words to heart. She likes to pretend as if she hadn't been dying to see you again."

Blushing furiously at her blunt revelation, you shot her a glare, but she simply tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "Behave yourself. I'll be back shortly after settling the bill with Hwa," she said, brushing past San. As she passed him, she gave a polite nod, "Please take care of her for me, won't you?"

"Of course, Eve," he replied, nodding in return.

As soon as your friend left the room, he took a step closer, his tone serious, "Listen, I'm tired of playing games. I came here because I realised I can't bear to lose you again. So, tell me if you feel the same right now. If you still want me gone, I'll leave and never show my face around you ever again."

His words struck a chord, and you couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He couldn't resist the pull any longer, sitting down beside you on the bed and wrapping his arms around you. Relief flooded through him as he felt you relax in his embrace.

"I don't want to lose you again either. I'm sorry I was an idiot," you whispered.

"You should be," he teased, planting a kiss on your hair, "But I'm sorry too. Perhaps I should have told you who I was from the start. Let's just... not say things we don't mean and hurt each other again, okay?"

You nodded, squeezing him tightly, "Okay, Sannie."

All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

[oclovingmaniac]

EPIC - The Musical LIVE BLOG (bc I've never done one of these)

Damn okay vocals from Odysseus

THEY WANT HIM TO KILL A CHILD???

Yeah don't do it bro just raise him as your kids brother or smt

Okay he actually did it goddamn

Oh they hungry

Polites is such a little cutie omg I love him❤️❤️❤️

THE LITTLE CUTIE GOT TUNES OKAY POLITES I SEE YOU!!

I better see Polites with a lover at the end of these and they better greet him with open arms

Okay the lotus eaters are really cute

Never mind they're a hive mind okay😭

OH OKAY ATHENA OKAYYYY (Lil biased cus I'm a worshipper of her but whatever)

Ooooh sheep okay, I've seen this part specifically. Poor cyclops guy.

DONT GIVE THE CYCLOPS WINE???

Hear me out, maybe just flee the cave and don't fight the big ass bitch??

POLITES NO!!! WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I HATE THIS I HATE THIS, FUCK YOU EPIC DIE KILL THE CYCLOPS IMMEDIATELY

Yeah die you stupid one eyed bitch and stay thay way fucker. I hate the cyclops. Fuck the cyclops man.

Hell yeah Odysseus remember them indeed. Mainly Polites.

Oh damn there's more of the big fuckers oh no

Oh wait the cyclops is lonely. Wait they left him and he went "Don't go" why the fuck does my heart hurt now. Fuck this musical man😭

Odysseus, my guy, you can't just say NO to Athena???😭😭

OKAY ODY GET IT BUDDY

THE INFAMOUS ODYSSEUS HELL YEAH

Why did the cyclops smile that was so fucking creepy.💀

Okay back to Athena hell yes.

Okay a little harsh girlie, you can't blame him for getting emotional there.

OKAY DON'T INSULT HER DUDE???

Oh damn the girls are fighting guys just hug it out please🙄

JESUS ODY THATS A BIT MUCH???

Valid crash out Athena😭

They'll talk it out don't worry guys😔

Oooh "Storm" okay

Is Poseidon about to fuck them over?😭

OH THESE VOCALS ARE HEAVENLYYY

STOOOOOORRRM (STOOOOOORRRRMMM)

Eurydice be positive omfg yall have dealt with enough death

Yall really about to shoot the fucking sky???💀

Ohhh there was an island okay I wasn't paying attention my bad yall

Oh wind god? Okay fun.

EURYDICE SHUT UP MAN POLITES WOULD NOT APPRECIATE THIS

Oh okay okay

How much longer till yo luck runs out duh duh duhduh vibe okay

Okay I get Eurydice's concern now I shouldn't have shit talked I'm sorry everybody deals with grief differently I guess😭

NOT THE FUCKING POLITES FLASH BACK ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME JUMP OUT MY BEDROOM WINDOW AT HALF TEN AT NIGHT????

Oh shit the passive aggressiveness

"I need to talk to you in private" Ooooooh Eurydice's in troubleeeee

Shit bro fr getting scolded below the decks right now😭

Oh the flute love that okay

Aeolis? How do you spell it???

OH SHIT HES A SHE??

I love her.

AWE THE LITTLE LOTUS EATERS AWEEEEE

Lmao this animator drew the lotus eaters twerking💀

Okay I really fuck with Aeolis (I do not know how to spell her name and I refus to use subtitles)

DAMN THE LOTUS EATERS ARE SHIT STIRRERS😭😭😭 "It's treasure!" "...what?" "Buh-bye!"

THE WAY HE HAS TO TALK TO THEM LIKE THEYRE KIDS DUDE💀 I love them bro

Shit they arguing😔

Okay they're almost home great wonderful awesome cool. And they all lived happily ever after and no one opened the bag.

For the love of fucking God don't open the bag PLEASE.

ODYSSEUS STAY AWAKE FOR FUCK SAKE. PLEASE.

MORON.

THEY TIED HIM TO THE FUCKING BOAT??? DUDE??? YALL ARE WARRIORS YOU CANNOT BE THIS STUPID COME ON😭😭😭

WHAT. THE. FUCK. DID. HE. TELL. YOU???

EURYDICE YOURE HIS SECOND IN COMMAND SURELY YOU TRIED TO STOP THEM OR SOMETHING??? FUCKING IDIOTS.

OH SHIT ITS POSEIDON YALL ARE SO FUCKED-

Oh damn he's yelling lemme turn this shit down.

Damn bro really just tryna chill with the waves and yall pissed him off because you're IMPULSIVE FUCKING BUFFOONS-

Shit the cyclops is Poseidons kid??? You guys are actually already dead write yo damn wills😭

RUTHLESSNESS IS MERCY UPON OURSELVESSSSS

I may have a crush on EPIC Poseidon...

Hey the sea man (with tentacles I may add) has got a point and I would listen to him if I were you I'm just saying like I'm totally not biased or anything because he's hot that's ridiculous-

Bro really would've preferred if he just offed his son omg😭

His vocals are fire tho fr

Oh damn the rest of his men are about to die aren't they😭

I FUCKING KNEW IT DAMMIT POSEIDON

Okay at least it wasn't all of then I guess?😭

OH DAMN HE STABBED THE WINDBAG OKAY-

Yeah okay that was such a smart move but also Ody you're such a little shit and it's hilarious😭🙏

Oh where the fuck are we now

Eurydice shut the fuck up nobody said you could speak be quiet.

HIS NAME IS EURYLICHUS? I GOT HIS NAME WRONG THE WHOLE TIME? FUCK SAKE MAN

Yeah no shut the fuck up baldy (that's what I'm calling him from now on cus fuck yall)

TELL ME MORE MEN DIDNT ACTUALLY JUST DIE MAN😭

Yall just... entered a random Palace because the voice sounded pretty??? NO WONDER ODY TALKS TO THEM LIKE THEYRE CHILDREN ITS BECAUSE THEY FUCKING ARE😭

"A woman😔" "...what-" Bro is so done with baldy and so am I honestly-

Ody is APPALLED at how easy it is to grasp these stupid men bro😭

LMAO SHES SO ICONIC WAIT I LOVE HER

Also you cannot tell me baldy was the only one to stand there skeptical I refus to believe that.

STOP I LOVE CIRCE WTF SHES SO ICONIC

SHE TURNED THEM INTO PIGS LMAO WHAT A DIVA

Baldy shut up bro.

HERMES YAY HERMES IS HERE

STOP I LOVE HERMES VOCALS AND THIS SOMG IS SUCH A BOP WHAT- THEY DID MY BRO PROUD IM SURE

HIS VOCALS ARE INCREDIBLE DUDE I CANTTTT

Did Hermes actually just get Odysseus high???😭

Hermes is just there for the drama bro. What. A. Queen.

"REVEAL THEIR TRUE FORMS" SHES SUCH AN ICON BRO I LOVE HER

The way she knew this was Hermes doing those two have beef I guarantee it😭

ODY LEAVE CIRCE ALONE SHE'S JUST TRYNA PROTECT HER NYMPHS DUDE

THEYRE LIKE HER DAUGHTERS??? ODY JUST LEAVE BRO😭😭😭

IS SHE ACTUALLY ABOUT TO TRY AND SEDUCE HIM TO SAVE THE NYMPHS FUCK MAN I LOVE HER

Okay if there's one thing I knew before listening to this it's that Odysseus like refuses to cheat on Penelope so I'm not worried rn

Hell yeah we love loyal men- NOT HIM SITTING NEXT TO CIRCE LIKE SHES A FUCKING THERAPIST BRO I CANT😭

I'm gonna pause and assume she keys them go with absolutely no catch whatsoever and then Ody gets home with no further issues the end. THE. END. PLEASE. IM DYING.

Damn okay R.I.P to the prophet I guess😭

DONT SEND HIM TO THE FUCKING UNDERWORLD BRO- WITH HIS LUCK??? HES FUCKED DONT DO THAT-

Awe she was in love?😭

I KNEW WE COULD FUCK WITH CIRCE MAN I LOVE HER

Let's hope they fucking listen this time man, especially in the fucking underworld???

Yall ever go to the airport when you were younger so your mom would scare you into staying near her so you wouldn't wander off? Yeah that's what Ody should do here.

Damn bro is being YELLED AT

YOU CANT SPRONG A DEAD POLITES ON ME LIKE THAT MAN ILL FUCKING SOB AGAIN I MEAN IT IM A WEAK BOY PLEASE

(I doubt Polites would be in the underworld, he'd probably be in the Elysian fields but fucking whatever man ignore me)

DO NOT FUCKING BRING HIS MOTHER INTO THIS-

WAIT SHES DEAD?? OH MY FUCKING GOD DUDE-

You've got me sobbing in the middle of my bedroom at that "Bye mom" Jorge I hope you fucking know that. You're paying for my therapy.

OKAY NOW YOURE YELLING??? SHUT UP-

Do we meet the prophet now-

We do yay.

Oh he's cute as fuck wait-

Bro is just refusing to help okay😭

Okay if you can predict all that could you not have maybe predicted all the current bullshit going on and maybe idk WARNED US?? Sorry I shouldn't talk about politics my bad🙄

But my guy is actually just refusing to cooperate what a diva

"WHO?" Bro take a wild fucking guess Ody-

Okay I no longer fuck with the prophet. He may be a diva but he's also a bitch so-

Ody: "It's me, hi. I'm the problem, it's me."

R.I.P Ody you would've loved Tay Tay

THANK YOU ODY YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE NECESSARY KILLINGS FUCKING HELL DUDE.

SCILLA IS FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT GET AWAY- IM TRYNA SEE ODYS REACTION TO BALDYS STULIDITY AND SHES SITTING THERE WIDE EYED FUCK OFF-

SHES SO FREAKY HELP-

EW WHY DID HER NECK FUCKING ELONGATE???

oh bro got snatched okay-

WHY IS SHE SNATCHING EVERYONE EXCEPT THE BALD FUCKER???

Okay but how many died just now???

Six okay, also stfu and sit yo Baldy ass back down Eurylichus

PUT THAT SWORD AWAY IMMEDIATELY LIKE YO DUMBASS WOULDNT HAVE DONE THE FUCKING SAME-

THEY STABBED HIM??? YALL MAD CUS HE LIKES WIFE MORE THAN YOU??? JEALOUS FUCKS-

THE FUCKING NECK OF THESE GUYS MAN OMFG-

Omg no pls listen to Ody- BALDY FOR ONCE JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ODYSSEUS PLEASE-

You are not about to slay a cow that belongs to Lord Apollon bro😭

Idiots. All of them.

OH NOW YOU WANNA FUCKING LISTEN TO ODY??? FUCK OFF MAN YOU STUPID FUCKS-

I KNEW ODY SHOULDVE THROWN BALDY OVERBOARD IN SCYLLAS LAIR

GET THEIR ASSES APOLLON!!!

Oh or Zeus that works too ig I was excited to see Apollo-

WHY IS ZEUS SEDUCING A CLOUD RIGHT NOW???

This is grossing me out wait😭

EUGHHHH NO FUCK OFF I HATE THE MYTHS OF ZEUS DUDE😭😭😭

Lmao Zeus avenging Apollo's cows instead of Apollo is pretty funny to me honestly

Okay why are we dissing pride rn Zeus you homophobe-

LET THEM DIE THEYRE USELESS AS FUCK! THEY LITERALLY JUST STABBED YOU LIKE AN HOUR AGO LET THEM DIEEEEE PLEASEEEE

OH FUCK OFF BALDY WITH YOUR SAD PUPPY LOOK YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF YOU DUMBASS BITCH YOU CLEARLY SHAVED OFF PART OF YOUR BRAIN ALONG WITH YOUR HAIR

NO DONT CRY ODY THEY WERE USELESS ITS OKAY!

Oh 7 yrs later

Oh damn is this Telemachus? My boy rocking those dangling earrings okay-

NO HES NOT DEAD DUDE HAVE HOPE COME ON!

He has a dog???

Buddy you do not want to fight those monsters maybe just stay with you, yourself and... thou? And the dog ofc and Penelope I'm guessing.

OHHH OKAY L-L-L-L-LEGENDARY! GET IT TELEMACHUS!

Damn not them rocking up in the Palace just to disrespect the Prince wtf???😭

OWL??? ATHENA??? ARE YOU BACK???

STOP I LOVE HIMMMM

"Where is he ehememememe" SHUT YO DESPERATE ASS UP-

HOW DARE YOU CALL PENELOPE A FUCKING TRAMP???

YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER FUCKING ROOM!!

HELL YEAH TELEMACHUS DEFEND HER NAME!!!

BEAT HIS ASS TELEMACHUS!!!

STOP SINGING AND STAB HIM WTF???

HELL YEAH GET HIM!!!

THE FUCKING NERVE OF THIS CUNT??? GET HIM TELEMACHUS!!!

GET YOUR HAND OFF OF HIS NECK IMMEDIATELY???

TELEMACHUS GET UP OMFG-

HOW IS THIS BOY PENELOPES SON??? I KNOW DAMN WELL SHE CAN PROBABLY FIGHT LIKE A BEAST WHY IS SHE NOT TEACHING HIM???

ATHENAAAA YESSSS HELP THIS POOR GUYYYYY

YEAH UPPERCUT!! FUCK YES!!

YES ATHENA!!! FUCK HIM UP!!!

YES FUCK HIM UP TELEMACHUS!!!

GET IT LITTLE WOLF!!!

I HATE THIS GUY?? NOT TELEMACHUS BUT THE FUCKER HES FIGHTING-

Yay Athena has a new student and it's her old students son we love thatttt

Damn just tell him you were his father's mentor??? No? Okay-

Stop Telemachus is such a fucking cutie I can't-

OMG SHE HIGH FIVED TELEMACHUS BUT NOT ODY THATS AMAZING-

"You're a good kid..." "Thanks :D" I LOVE HIM-

Damn she really just hasn't even checked on him for ten years-

Athena, girly, you have missed alot😭😭😭

Damn now he's missing alright

Okay now who is this girly calling him "sleepyhead"?

LMAO NOT HER JUST BRUSHING PAST THE WIFE COMMENT😭

OH EW FUCK OFF??? HOMEWRECKER GTFO-

Damn okay it's kind of a bop though

Okay this is low-key SA I'm gonna be honest so I'm actually not gonna joke much about Calypso and Ody out of personal preference.

Oh okay he's just gonna jump off a cliff, cool-

CALYPSO HES TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF CAN YOU STOP HARASSING HIM FOR LIKE TWO FUCKING SECONDS YOU ANNOYING HOMEWRECKING BITCH I HATE YOU-

STOP SPRINGING FLASHBACKS OF POLITES ON ME!!!

let's not mourn the baldy he was useless anyway-

Valid crash out.

HE CALLED FOR ATHENA OMG THIS POOR GUY DUDE

YEAH GO HELP HIM ATHENA!!!

Wtf are the god games

Oh she asking for Zeus's help okay

Bro, your kid is asking for your help, and you wanna make it a game fuck off-

YAY WE ACTUALLY GET TO SEE APOLLO OMG

Okay, so, she has to convince all of them to help save Odysseus and then they'll let him off Calypso's Island cool awesome fun-

Imma do this in sections wait

Apollo

Love the vocals omg? Bro mad about the sirens. OMG HE DIDNT EVEN CARE ONCE HE FOUND OUT THE SIRENS WERE FINE😭 BRO SAID "TF AM I HERE FOR"

Hephaestus

Yeah valid reasoning very valid

LMAO HE DOESNT SOUND ARSED TO ARGUE WITH HER I LOVE THAT-

Aphrodite

Oh I love her

No I don't never mind.

Ehhh.

Ares

LMAO COMING TO BACK UP HIS WIFE AND ANNOY HIS SISTER I SEE YOU ARES!!!

I kinda love him

Oh oh rapping okay get it get it

AYE DONT DISS TELEMACHUS-

Yes Athena get his ass.

Lmao the simultaneous response between him and Aphrodite what a power couple honestly. Love Ares.

Hera

AHHHH LOVE HER

Lmao she's low-key on Athena's side she just wants a good reason. She's here for fun.

LMAO SHE WAS CONVINCED BY THE LACK OF CHEATING THATS SO AMAZING-

Zeus

Oh he being scary.

DONT YELL AT HER???

Bro don't get pissy because you lost

(LMAO ALL OF THE OTHERS LOOKIM AT ZEUS LIKE "UH WTF-")

GET UP ATHENA GET YOUR ASS UP-

GET UP GIRL PLEASE😭

YESSSSS LADY ATHENA!!!

LISTEN TO YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER ZEUS??? WHY ARE YOU ACTUVELY HURTING HER??? YOU BITCH-

Oh not fucking Calypso again please-

YEAH HES LEAVING GOOD FOR YOU ODY!!!

Shut up bro nobody likes you

CAME ON TOO STRONG!? YOU FUCKING ASSAULTED HIM YOU WORTHLESS BITCH???

Oh NOW you'll say you were wrong huh? What's up with assholes apologising far too late in this fucking musical???

I do hate you yes.

Bro BE sorry for loving him??? HE HATES YOU AND HE HAS EVERY RIGHT TOO-

ODY DONT FEEL FUCKING BAD FOR HER? DONT TRY AND COMFORT HER??

Okay sad backstory, yeah, but that doesn't really excuse you assaulting him now does it, Calypso?

STOP GUILT TRIPPING HIM YOU MANIPULATIVE BITCH-

IS THIS NOT ABUSE??? IS THIS NOT ABUSE???

He should hate you and he has every right to hate you because you're a fucking bitch-

"Ehememememe I have all these negative emotions so it's your problem now EHMEMEMEMEMEEM" that's all I hear right now-

ODY NO! DONT TRY TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER?? WHERE'S THE BEAST GONE?? WHERE'S THE MONSTER??? STOP IT!!!

I HATE THIS WHOLE SEGMENT AND NOBODY CAN EVER MAKE ME LIKE CALYPSO IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM! ARGUE WITH THE WALL!

Ain't no way he's getting all the way back to Ithica on a fucking raft😭🙏

HERMES IS FUCKING BACK WITH THE WIND BAG WHAT AN ICON!!!

HIS STUPID FUCKING LAUGH OH GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH-

Can I just mention how amazing Hermes would be at hosting a circus? Like je would fucking love the greatest showman

STOP BECAUSE HES GENUINELY ACTUALLY ROOTING FOR ODYSSEUS HERE LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH MAN

Do. Not. Open. That. Fucking. Bag. I swear if this bag opens I'm suing SOMEBODY-

This song is such a bop btw

AHSGDHSKDHDGW I LOVE HIMMMMM

Love how he's low-key shit talking a sea monster

OKAY DONT GET CARRIED AWAY ODY PLEASE JUST THINK FUCKING LOGICALLY YOURE MAKING ME NERVOUS-

YAY HE CAN SEE ITHICA!!!

WHY THE FUCK CANT WE JUST LET THIS FUCKER BE HAPPY FOR LIKE TWO MINITES? POSEIDON FUCK OFF-

DO NOT GET IN THE FUCKING WATER-

Oh maybe get in the water actually...

AYE DO NOT THREATEN TELEMACHUS AND PENELOPE???

POSEIDON YOU HEARTLESS FUCK

Lmao he's really trying to reason with Lord Poseidon, get it ig-

LMAO ITS OKAY ODY YOU WERE SO CLOSE KEEP TRYING BUDDY

OKAY POSEIDON CHILL CHILL CHILL-

ODYSSEUS NOOOOOO

STOP. GIVING ME. POLITES. FLASHBACKS. PLEASE BRO-

BRO CMON YOU CANT DIE NOW-

OH? OH OKAY HE GETTIN BACK UP!!!

WHY THE FUCK IS HE FLYING WHAT IS GOING ON-

Oh damn was he just empowered by like three different gods???😭

Oh he screaming okay-

GET HIM ODY!!!

OH DAMN DID HE JUST KILL POSEIDON??

Oh he didn't okay.

HE OPENED THE BAG??? ODYSSEUS WHY???

Oh he threatening him-

OH- NOT THE TORTURE!

HES REALLY TORTURING A GOD FUCKING HELL-

BRO JUST TORTURED A LITERAL GOD TO GET HOME OH JESUS-

"Next to my wife" COLDEST LINE IN FUCKING CINEMATIC HISTORY- YES ODYSSEUS GO AND GET EM TIGER!!!!

Oh we back in the Palace okay

PENELOPE YOU WILL NOT CHOOSE A SUITOR BRO-

PENELOPE YOURE AMAZING DONT CRY I LOVE YOU-

I KNEW SHE WAS A BADASS!!!

NO DONT SET AN ACTUAL CHALLENGE FOR THEM PENELOPE THEY HAVE PLOT ARMOUR-

STOP GIRL DONT CRY YOURE SO STRONG WERE ALL SO PROUD OF YOU HONEY!!!

NO, YOU HEARD THE QUEEN, IF YOU CANT STRING THE FUCKING BOW THEN YOURE USELESS AND SHE HATES YOU SO FUCK OFF!

FUCK. OFF. STUPID. UGLY. BASTARD. I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HOLD YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU FOR FUCK SAKE-

STOP- NO- LEAVE TELEMACHUS ALONE YOU FUCKING FREAKS FUCK OFF I HATE THIS DONT YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON THAT BOY!!!

SLIT WHOS THROAT?? I WILL CUT YOUR DICK OFF-

WHAT EVEN IS THIS GUYS NAME??? FUCK OFF YOU FREAK NOBODY LIKES YOU-

IF YOU TOUCH PENELOPE IM GONNA FEED YOU TO THE CYCLOPS-

EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW I CANT EVEN JOKE ABOUT THIS THATS JUST FUCKING DISGUSTING???

OH ODYSSEUS IS HERE? FINALLY!!

HES DEAD! YES! OLAY PENELOPE AND TELEMACHUS ARENT HURT WE'RE GOOD!

TELL THEM ODY!!!

KILL THEM ALL!! 600 STRIKES PER FUCKER!!!

HES BAAAAAACK!!!

yall ever play hide and seek in the dark? Yeah that's what this is to me-

HUNT THEM DOWN ODY!!!

FUCK YES ODYSSEUS!!!

NOT THIS FUCKER TRYING TO SWEET TALK ODYSSEUS SIT YO ASS DOWN AND TAKE THIS ARROW BITCH-

"Open arms insteaaaa-" "No :/" FUCK YEAH ODY!!!

YESSSS ODY

OH IT WAS TELEMACHUS!!! FUCK YES BUDDY!!!

OH YOU COWARDS LEAVE THE KID ALONE

YOU WILL NOT ALL ATTACK THE LRINCE FUCK OFF-

FUCK THEM UP TELEMACHUS!!! YOUVE GOT THIS!!!

ODY TO THE RESCUE FUCK YES

MERCY???

KILL THEM ALL ODY!!!

SCREAMMMMMM COWARDSSSSS

AAAAHHHH THEY FINALLY MEET THE FATHER AND SON OMG YAY-

Oh buddy😭

I'll be too busy sobbing to react to this part so uhhh yeah

See, this is why I can't watch father and son things because I genuinely do just start sobbing. I'm not joking, there's tears streaming down my neck it's really annoying me actually-

OH YAY ATHENA IS BACK FUCK YES!!!

GO AND SEE YOUR WIFE ODYSSEUS!!!

Wait I don't like that song title I thought they were already madly in love??? THEY STAYED IN LOVE NO??? IF I CRY AGAIN IM MAKING IT EVERYONES PROBLEM-

YES ITS REALLY HIM TF-

YES YOU ARE ODY FUCK OFF.

ODYSSEUS FUCK OFF STOP BEING STUPID YOURE STILL HER LOVING HUSBAND STOP IT😭

SHUT UP STOP MAKING THINGS HARDER JUST BE IN LOVE-

YOU WANT HIM TO TAKE AWAY YOUR FUCKING WEDDING BED??? PENELOPE ITS A TREE THATS NAILED INTO THE FUCKING GROUND ALSO WHY THE FUCK-

Oh wait she was just testing if it was him oh my god my heart stop fuck off I'll cry-

STOP SHE'S SO IN LOVE WITH HIM IM GONNA CRYYYY-

OH MY FUCKING GOD KILL ME NOW DUDE MY HEARTTTTT

Okay so uhhhh

Verdict: Masterpiece, absolutely loved it, never getting over Polites, Hermes is an icon and I love him, and this might be the topic of all my solitudious discussions for the next like month or so-

Okay it's half three in the morning GOODNIGHT-

[lologoinsolo]

I'm usually just a lurker when it comes to fanfic buuut I've gotta say that your "In The Shadows" series is so wonderful. It's scary in the best way, and the way you describe scenes and imagery creates such a vivid image. Every time you release a new chapter I'm torn between reading it because 'Eek new chapter'! But then I'm also like 'Noo, what if something happens :('. The story has me on the edge of my seat every time. I also really love your world building (I'm likely a bit biased) especially with the 141. The way they function and are describes has me grabbing at every detail you give. They're so scary, yet I want to know so much more! It has me hooked for sure. I probably wouldn't survive a single night in the town if I was this curious lolol Sorry this is so long, I'm a rambler. Thank you so much for doing what you do! You are such a wonderful writer, and I hope you're taking care of yourself. Stay hydrated! (PS: Hoping this won't submit more than once, my internet is being iffy. So sorry if it does! Aaah so embarrassing Dx)

I love when people ramble in my inbox, I could listen to people all day if I could. I’m so, so, so glad you love it and came off your lurker status for it (you’re making me blush btw)

I am glad that you’re getting scared by them. Taking a crack at horror is not for the weak. I keep second guessing if this is horror or more of a suspicious/mystery drama…. I need to add more scenes of them killing. Welllllllll actually!! I don’t think this will be spoilers when I talk about Gaz and Soap’s way of killing/hunting. Under the cut is gonna be bloody (hahaha)

TW: Talks of past murders and death and just a general sense in how Soap/Gaz hunt…

I didn’t want to make them all the same kind of killer because in game and in their bio they’re all completely different in skills and overall character.

Soap’s way of hunting is flamboyant in a sense. It’s the thrill, the chase, the desperation in seeing his victim(s) try to run or outlast him. Before the rock was used (this isn’t a spoiler cause in the From Series the Sheriff is the one that found it) he was having the time of his life. He’s artistic in sense that he’ll rearrange bodies just for the wow factor that he knows it’ll bring to his later victims. But with that stupid rock now in use he’s been itching for fun. Goes far too overboard to sate himself when someone’s stupid enough to try their luck at night. (Now, can he jump the gun and scare off people because he’s overly enthusiastic? Hell, yes. Is there someone or someone’s that can rein him in… hehehehe, yeah.)

Gaz’s way of hunting is subtle. He lures, gains trust, speaks gently and kindly. Doesn’t want a poor little rabbit to run and make him work for it. He wants them to come to him. Everyone second guesses on Gaz because he makes himself personal. Plays on their fears and says to them, “oh, poor thing. It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. I promise.” And when that ‘poor thing’ opens the door or window well… maybe it’s their own fault for being so trusting. It’s an added bonus if they fall in love, everyone wants the big, bad guy to be soft for them so who is he to deny them their little fantasy. (Honestly I can talk about Gaz for hours. I love Soap but Gaz? Oh, yeah. I’m opening the door, baby.)

[sucuretcannelle]

hi! i briefly remember you saying that you're into if's, so i was wondering what your favorites are

Sighs and shakes a red cup full of ice

Nobody thinks I'm a nerd till they hear the way I talk about interactive fiction...no one knows...

Anyway I started playing IF's in like December. Time flies

This is kind of in order? Of like enjoyment. HOWEVER take this with a grain of salt because I was sitting here trying to rearrange them (except the top 3) for 40 minutes. If it was mentioned, it's good 🙂‍↕️

1. The six that thrive by @the-six-that-thrive-if —

the way I was playing this bro. I wouldn't let myself sleep until I was done with the demo and not because it felt like I had to, but I knew I would be PISSED if I went to bed without absorbing all the content (Dante give me a chance PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏). Anyway the hierarchy system reminds me of the one that I have for the way I wrote hell and I was like 🫵 OMG THATS SO COOL.

Key factor that I appreciate: Dialogue, descriptions, and transitions. Dante is deadass so funny I'm not even playing bro. Buddy how do you write like that, lmk. Also the official art has me gnawing at the bars of my enclosure

2. College Tennis: Origin Story by @collegetennisoriginstory — I ACTUALLY HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM BRO. LOOK. IN MY HEAD, I WAS IGNORING THAT THEY WERE PLAYING TENNIS SO I WAS VISUALIZING VOLLEYBALL. SO AT SOME POINT I READ THE WORD RACKET AND I WAS LIKE WHAT ARE WE PLAYING???

Key factor that I appreciate: Skill checks, attention to side characters, amazing use of character tropes. Idk how to describe it but the writing felt so CLEAN. Like so organized and orderly. Plus I wanna study all of the characters under a microscope

3. Superstition (omg first IF I ever played) by @13leaguestories — I played this while I was sick and that's literally all I did for 2 days besides eating and sleeping. Am I okay? Yeah cuz it happened in December but like I was OBSESSED. And ashamed. My friend told me i would be into Zillah and she was right. I haven't recovered. I promise I'm in therapy.

Key factor that I appreciate: The fact that there was always something going on. Literally at least 3 things were happening at the same time, all the time, and it kept my lil depressed ass stimulated. Who could ask for more

4. Infamous by @infamous-if — this game makes me scared of commitment cuz I can't have Orion and Griffin😐 I might be biased because. I sing! So I was just really connected to this story immediately. Either way, one of my favs cuz the writing is saurrrr good, makes ya feel

Key factor that I appreciate — Infamous is generally well rounded, so I don't feel like it's LACKING in anything. Me gusta.

5. Mind blind by @mindblindbard — I have a problem so I'm a stereotypical Rosie fan. But anyway I personally loved this one because of the world building, even tho I'm a character-focused girlie. Plus the game is so funny for no reason

Key factor that I appreciate— I actually really like the MC in general. Which is funny to say, because they're supposed to be you, but MC's are different from game to game, and I like this one

6. Soulmates Inc by @soulmatesinc-if — idk with some games, it's just the vibe. Like the vibe is right so I'll read it (which like...it's hard for me to find games where the vibe is what drags me along. Tis really good)

Key factor I appreciate — Wyatt. omg who said that...I also love this game's take on soulmates. It's simple, but original, and I fw it

7. Nine Blood Dances by @nineblooddances-if— I'm boutta cry, how did you end up here twice without me noticing bro. Idk this one and TSTT have like, vibes that are connected by a small string, and I did play this one first if that matters.

Key factor that I enjoyed: It felt very structured, and again, clean. I really don't know what this feeling is

8. When Twilight Strikes by @evertidings — I love ALL the characters because damn near all of them pissed me off once. That's actually impressive /pos. Anyway Rylan hit my line

Key factor that I enjoyed: watching my relationship descriptions change. Some left me devastated stop... Like sorry A you're driving me nuts...

Honorable mentions:

Apartment 502 by @apt502-if — I can't wait to see the future parts cuz like I like it but I cant analyze any of the characters yet. But trust me I'm ready 📝

The Kings Hound by @the-kingshound — Same typa situation was Apartment 502... I'm waiting...patiently 📝

[allykakamatsu]

Playing XC2 if you played Torna first is a very different experience

Aka, a rough list of all my reactions to things that I shouldn't of reacted to on a first run cause I played Torna first-

(Note, I played both games for the first time years ago, this is just a recreation of my reactions.)

(Chapter 1) Aww Azurda has new adopted human and this one calls him Gramps that's adorable!

meeting new Torna for the first time Aww it's a cute Gormotti girl-! Why is Malos here-?! JIN WHY ARE YOU WITH MALOS WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

Okay so Malos has a blade now, checks out given that his core is probably wrecked after what Mythra did to him but I guess Aegis's can be Drivers now.

JIN WHY DID YOU STAB A CHILD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!?!

Oh, so Pyra is Mythra's new self. She seems sweet but I want my sassy girl back.

(Chapter 2) Yay Gormott! Glad to see it's not burned to the ground anymore.

If I had a nickel for every time Brighid attacked us thinking we were criminals I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's funny it happened twice.

Why isn't Pyra's fire affected by the water- oh is it cause of Mythra?

Oh, so Mórag is Brighid's new driver. Should've figured that out sooner but they're a cool looking pair. Wonder where Aegeon is though.

(Chapter 3) Hey Cole's scar kinda reminds me of Minoth, wonder what happened to him.

In between my tears over what just happened MYTHRA'S BACK FUCK YEAH!!!

(Chapter 4) Addam why the hell are you wearing a cloak you weren't wearing it in that scene.

MYTHRA I GET THAT YOU'RE UPSET AND PROBABLY STILL DEPRESSED OVER MILTON I AM TOO BUT I'M SORRY!!!

Wait.... COLE WAS MINOTH?!?! Jeez man what happened? I know you said you were a failed Flesh Eater but I didn't realise that meant this...

Also Minoth man, I love you but I think old age has made you senile why the hell are you sending us to Amalthus?

get's control of Mythra YES!! And omg her specials are her old arts that's adorable!!

Oh so this is the 'Evil Tifa' I've heard people joke about- wait.... MIKHAIL?!?! MY SON?! Okay this means you survived whatever the hell Amalthus did that's good, but it's been 500 years how are you still alive regardless? Also he's evil now which is bad but at least he's with his dad Jin.

WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FIGHT MY SON GAME?!?!?!

Okay upside, Brighid's back at least and yup she's still awesome. And her specials are her old arts too that's still adorable.

Haze my babygirl you're back-! Wait, Fan la Norne? I'm with Mythra on this one when did that happen? And why is half of your core gone?

(More under cut)

(Chapter 5) Okay yeah I'm doubly with Mythra something happened to Haze and I am concerned.

Okay I can see why Addam picked this place for the Tornan refugees this place is beautiful.

Wait, Zeke's the Prince of where? I have not heard of Tantal before, is it new or am I forgetting something? (it was in-fact, relatively new)

in the same tone of 'Dinkleberg' Amalthus..... I can't prove it yet but you're the one behind Haze's missing core aren't you?

YES!! REX!! AMALTHUS WAS MALOS'S DRIVER DON'T TRUST HIM!!

Jin, I again ask what the hell happened to you?

Empty Moment- OH GOD THAT'S HIS LEVEL 4 I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT FELT LIKE AAGGHH!!

Jin what are you doing- HAZE NO!!! JIN I KNOW HAZE HATED AMALTHUS AND HE PROBABLY DID SOMETHING TO HER BUT WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!

after I'm finished crying Oh, hey Aegeon, was wondering when you'd show up. And that's the Emperor of Mor Ardain? Aww, he looks like an even more baby Hugo-! Wait... Hugo.... oh no.

(Chapter 6) Niall what are you doing no no no-! NOT AGAIN!!!

Okay, Nia, thank you for stopping history from repeating itself.

The Tantalese are descendent from Addam, that can't be right Addam went to Leftheria-! Zettar started this, didn't he?

No tier lists I don't care if Aegeon sucks I'm gonna use him anyway because I am biased.

'Cadet Branch of the Royal Family' Yup, Zeke is descendant from Zettar, RIP my man having to be in the same bloodline as him.

GAME WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FIGHT MY SON AGAIN-!! WHY DOES MIKHAIL HAVE A CORE CRYSTAL?!?!

Pyra Mythra no no no you two aren't just made to destroy don't go with them no no NO!!!

(Chapter 7) Ah, so this is where Addam hid the third sword. 5 minutes of gameplay later I can see why he hid it down here, this place would drive anyone mad.

Is this what it feels like to be on the receiving end of Addam's talent art? Cause all these reinforcements have to be equivalent to being perma toppled and launched with how long this takes.

Addam drop the hood already.

Malos you fucking bastard when I get my hands on you....!! Jin you can stay but you're on think fucking ice pardon the pun.

YES!! REX GIVE THOSE GIRLS THERAPY THEY NEED IT!!!

(Chapter 8) You know, I'm pretty sure most people picked Pyra here calls Pneuma Mythra but I am not most people

YAY!! I can play as Jin again! And he is somehow even more overpowered than before!

Jin why are you lying to Brighid, she's more mature but she's otherwise the same.

Jin... ate.... oh... I should've.... figured but.... oh god.... I just thought loosing Lora messed him up but having to eat.... yeah between that and Amalthus no wonder he's like this.

Torna......

Aww, nice Jin's still in there, he let us go and told Brighid the truth.

(Rest of the game cause I love it but I forget the chapter markers) So.... um.... Jin I'm glad you were able to find love again after Lora but why did it have to be Malos? Like this is weirdly sweet but this is a weird progression.

AMALTHUS I KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MESSED WITH HAZE MALOS YOU ARE OFFICIALLY PRIORITY 2 THIS BASTARD DIES FIRST!!

Okay that's how Mikhail survived this long so I guess Amalthus was good for one thing.

No no no no no no no- MIKHAIL!!!!! Why.....?!?- Oh god they're showing the scene where he met Lora and Jin again GAME WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?!

Okay I wanted to help Jin and stop Amalthus anyway but now I'm doing it for my baby boy.

Don't worry Jin I've got your back. THIS IS FOR LORA HAZE MIKHAIL AND EVERYONE ELSE YOU BASTARD!!!!!!

...... J... Jin...... chapter 9 is living up to it's name because I was a rainstorm of tears after this

Malos for Jin's sake I don't want to kill you anymore can you please stop- damn it!!

Never thought I'd be sad to see Malos go but, here we are.

Pyra, Mythra, what are you- no no no no NO!! POPPI I KNOW YOU'RE KEEPING YOUR PROMISE AND WE HAVE TO LEAVE BUT LET ME GO I HAVE TO SAVE THEM!!!!

bawling crying until the two come back and the tears become happy tears Heh... thank god....

[rinadragomir]

My thoughts on the couples included in Better in Black for those who care

I expect you to write down yours so work work

📍Wessa

You know, as a dedicated Jessa stan I wanna say that it's okay~ Because these two were together for 50 years or sth, there's still some things to add. We might watch them in their 30s, 50s, 60s. I guess at this point both camps have around the same amount of content. Plus I'll have Jessa in twp so I'm in peace 🌱

📍Clace

All my first thoughts are over here. I'm a Clace defender, I'm their oldest stan, I'm a veteran👩‍🦳 So I feel like I have a right to say that...it was kinda unnecessary. We've witnessed every step in their relationship so far, beginning of it in TMI, gentle transition to adulthood in TDA and Tales of Shadowhunter Academy, adulthood in SOBH and proposal. So if the story isn't about their wedding then WHAT THE HELL IS IT ABOUT REALLY? And we know that they won't get married until twp.

📍Anna & Ari (Arianna!)

Hey🥺that is nice, we've seen so little of them in chain of thorns and I've loved them since their debut in 2018 in that short story. I'm very biased when it comes to TLH, cause I'm their mother. So YAY🌱they have a long way to go, Anna still needs to change a tiny little bit for them to be healthy, so I'd love to witness it

📍Jordelia

We all have known about it, because Cassie kinda promised us their story a while ago. Wedding runes scene, honeymoon, kids, mortgage etc. Go kids, slay, serve, eat and so on, I'm excited for u!

📍Sebastian & Seelie Queen

🤨🧐🤔👁👁

Yeah... That famous Sebastian &Fanbase. Like... I'm conflicted, because it's useless and doesn't make any sense even tho it might slay. Listen up, I'll show you.

Lots of people defend it by saying that it might be important for Ash's background in TWP. But... No it's not. Because this is exclusive book made for few people who were lucky and financially stable enough to get it. It won't be posted online. So most people won't read it unless someone leaks it. So there's no point for that story to be important for the plot, therefore it has nothing to do with it.

And it's definitely not "one of the most beloved" couples. BUT LIKE... WHAT IF IT SLAYS? Toxic, unhinged romance, what if I'll love it? 🤡

📍Jemma

So you see the problem? Because it's the same as Clace. What else might she add, because there's nothing. SoBH ended like yesterday. We know exactly where they live rn, their daily routine, their plans. So there's nothing to add between SOBH and twp. What will it be about? Hard to say, but I hope Cassie will come up with sth interesting for them.

📍Thomastair (why did Cassie say Alistair instead of Alastair, I'm lost help me)

Yay🥺slay, serve, eat and leave no crumbs, go, kill it idk you're doing great boys, there's so much to add and explore because they've just started dating. I'm so excited ^-^

📍Kierartkina

That is fine. No matter what I think about their relationship, because in my point of view Cristina and Kieran fell in love because Cassie said so apparently, I still don't mind them being there. Because there's also lots of things to discuss and explore. I hope the story will be soft and warm☀they've just started their advantage so it definitely makes sense

📍Sizzy

Even though we've had lots of them in TMI and Shadowhunters Academy I still think they deserve to be here. They are famous (I guess? 👁👁) and I'd like to know more about their plans for future. Simon was still a teenager in the stories collection and now I'd love to see him as a grown man being in relationship with the woman he loves.

📍Luke & Jocelyn

👁👁🤨🧐🤔👀

Well... That was... Unexpected. I guess... I've just never met their fandom but I hope it's huge af, because I don't know why else would they be here. Sophideon, Gabrily and Charlotte with Henry were supposed to be here, let's be honest. But since they're here, I do think Cassie is able to make a decent story. I expect it to be bittersweet, angsty and somehow heartwarming. I think there's nothing to say except let's wait and find out.

OVERALL I think it's pretty fine. Maximum 7/10 from me. I was ready to face the worst, but it turned out to be... Fine. So it's fine☺🌱

[aeroargonic]

Do you still like TF2 ships? What's your favorite ship for each merc?

Pffffft, yeah. Still like TF2 ships lol. Here we go!

(Putting things under the cut because this'll be a long post lmao)

SCOUT: My personal favourite is ScoutPauling lol. A basic bitch answer, I know. But I think they're so cute in a dorkxdork kinda way. DemoScout is a close second too.

SOLDIER: For me, it's probably SoldierZhanna. I'm sorry, they're just perfect for each other. Dumbass 4 dumbass or something. I also have soft spots for SoldierSpy and SoldierMedic. I don't mind DemoSolly, but I personally prefer them as besties; their platonic bon is seriously underrated.

PYRO: SniperPyro. I'm sorry. It's my first TF2 ship and I will love it if it kills me.

DEMOMAN: I am a demofan of the Demoman, alright? This man is sooooooo shippable, everyone ship with him is just absolutely perfect. DemoScout, DemoSolly, DemoSniper...but my personal favourite is DemoSpy. I love it so much. Best TF2 ship of all time in my biased as hell opinion.

HEAVY: Can you be on TF2 Tumblr and not love HeavyMedic? Okay, confession time: I like Spoovy more. Sorry guys, but Spoovy will always reign supreme over HeavyMedic for me.

ENGINEER: Funnily enough, I actually don't think about Engie in terms of being shipped a lot. IDK, I just never really thought about it, or he's just paired offscreen with a minor and irrelevant OC because the plot demanded it. I do like HeavyEngie, whether in a romantic or platonic context. It's just soooooo cozy to me.

MEDIC: DemoMedic. I wasn't kidding when I said Demo was the most shippable guy.

SNIPER: Back on the SniperPyro train! I get the appeal for SniperSpy, I just prefer them as vitriolic best buds. Anyways, if I had to pick a second Sniper ship, it'd be SniperHeavy.

SPY: DemoSpy! DemoSpy! DemoSpy!

MISS PAULING: ScoutPauling, once again for the reasons I listed for Scout. I'm sorry, they're just too adorable.

ZHANNA: Again, back on the ZhannaSoldier hype train.

MERASMUS: I don't really ship Merasmus with anyone, but I will admit that Soldier x Merasmus is realllllllly fucking funny.

[prettyinpwn]

Did Shermie ever argue with Filbrick about his decision to kick Stan out of the house? I mean, even though he was mad at Stan for ruining the Ford's project, I doubt he was happy about the news that his seventeen-year-old brother had become homeless and living in his own car.

Yeah, in my headcanon, I think Shermie - even if he was mad at Stan for breaking Ford's project and even if he did get a biased story about what happened - he still loved Stan since they're brothers. He definitely would have thought kicking Stan out was too far, hence why I think he tried to find Stan in Stan's grifter/drifting years after he got out of the military. But then when he found out Stan was conning people, the multiple identities, fleeing from state to state, getting involved with crime, etc... well, to him, I think it might have proved that maybe Stan really was beyond redemption. Especially if Shermie is as straight-laced as I personally headcanon him as.

I think that's why no one in the family came to Stan's "funeral" except their mother. Filbrick probably said good riddance, Ford was missing in the Multiverse, etc. Caryn went because she probably understood the situation more from Stan's perspective. She probably also felt guilty as hell for letting her husband just toss Stan out, maybe thinking, "If I'd just tried to stop Filbrick, maybe Stan wouldn't have been on the streets, and he wouldn't have turned to crime, and then he wouldn't have ended up dead so young...". Like she felt she was responsible, in a way, but she couldn't have invited Stan home because Filbrick would have said no, probably.

Back to Shermie, I think he probably just... gave up on Stan. Although, there probably was always a part of him that wondered, knowing that his father had a temper and tended to blame Stan for everything, and he probably knew Ford was a tiny bit biased because Ford believed that Stan ruined his future. But then Shermie probably got swept into his own life with a wife and kids, so just... let Stan go, hoping he'd get better and come back, but no. He ended up, effectively, "dead" to the other Pines.

I mean, imagine you have a brother your father always said was a coattail-riding loser. Then, he breaks your other brother's chances at a fancy college. Okay, oops, mighta been an accident. Then you follow his trail and find out he's become a conman getting involved with drugs and crime and who knows what else. You'd probably give up and think he's a lost cause. That maybe your other brother and father are kind of right about him being just a lost cause screw-up. Maybe you even feel betrayed yourself, wondering how your "screw-up" brother could do things that horrible, wondering how you ever believed in the good in him.

It's okay, though, because after Gravity Falls, I assume the Stans and Dipper and Mabel tell him and everyone else in the family the truth. Imagine that family reunion...

[gromwife]

Relationship HCs pt. I - Aurel's Faves

First post!!! Just getting this out rq because I'm particularly inspired. Short n' sweet, possibly ooc-

Gromsko

Yeah y'all saw this one coming

Either an introvert's worst nightmare or just the person you'd need to balance out those behaviors. Still, you're coming out of that shell even if he has to drag you out.

If you're an extrovert? You'll likely just feed off each other's energies.

Your number one cheerleader - and he's loud about it. Getting this man to shut up about you or not show you off is like arguing with a brick wall (unless it genuinely makes you uncomfortable, but sometimes he still can't help himself-)

I feel like he's definitely the type to give surprise hugs too. It's hard to sneak around with his stature but it sure is jarring when you're on solid ground one moment and the next you're being scooped up multiple feet in the air with an all-too-familiar laugh booming behind you.

For how aloof he seems Sobie is very observant. He picks up on even the smallest things. Most times he won't press the issue if he believes something's wrong, instead giving a gentle reminder that he's there if you do need to talk about anything, but there is one instance where he' won't take any'd act immediately.

Physical injuries, no matter how small, are something he doesn't fuck around with. I'll probably write a separate blurb or fic about this later but with all that medical training he's absolutely going to put it to use.

Will lowkey mother-hen you no matter how much you protest.

Overall? 10/10, absolutely marriage material. (They all are, I'm just biased as hell)

Roach

Still haven't settled on whether or not he's completely mute or selective, but regardless he's not too much of a talker. Even with sign he still tends to keep it curt more often than not.

Besides, his expressions speak for him way more than he could ever convey-

His eyes get all soft whenever he sees you and it's almost like time stops for a few moments. He may as well change his callsign to 'moth' with how drawn he is to your radiance.

Easily flustered. His gear hides it for the most part but whenever he's caught without it? Oh, his face gets the prettiest shade of pink.

Has a bit of an artistic streak! If you ever manage to get a peek inside his journal you'll see little doodles amongst the entries or smaller blurbs. Some are hasty scribbles of things he might want to remember or something that just looked interesting, but others are more detailed.

Quietly affectionate. Could take or leave physical affection but likes being in the same room as you when he can. It's a lot of shared glances or simple touches, though in private he's a bit more cuddly.

Also get the idea that he loves heartfelt gestures and/or personalized gifts. He's not the type to turn anything down, but something that's tailored to him and his interest? He'd be so weak over something like that.

Bayan

Okay now we're getting kinda obscure,,,I think,,,

Right off the bat he gives the impression that he 'doesn't care about' his burn scars and the overall state of his face, but there's definitely some insecurity that bubbles up when any promise of romance finds him.

Despite this, most of the time he hates when any sort of attention is given to those areas. It feels like pity to him, either that or some superficial comfort. Unless it's an extremely rare occasion it's a definite turn-off for Bayan.

Is a little...headstrong. He's stubborn and has a short fuse, and while he tries to keep it under control with you this has led to at least a few arguments between you both.

Most times they're easy disputes to settle, either you'll both come together and talk it out or the source of the tension is forgotten and you'll both make up soon after the fact, but other times it can be a bit more difficult to patch things up.

Due to his past I get the idea that he might have issues forming close relationships - between his upbringing and how his career in the military went it seems like he's always been on his own. Self-sufficient.

When it comes to you, though? He's...uncertain on how to handle things. For once he actually cares about how his actions might affect someone else.

It may take some time, but he'll come back eventually.

Getting away from the angst, his affinity for cars as well as a lot of his experiences from previous jobs provided him with another way to blow off steam - driving. If he plans on going particularly fast he goes alone, but sometimes he'll invite you to come with him. These are the more scenic routes or have particularly breathtaking destinations.

Even if he is gruff and inexperienced, there is a bit of a romantic behind his icy demeanor.

Stiletto

Determined and no-nonsense, Salvatrice doesn't hesitate when she has her mind set on something. She treats everyday life just as she does her job.

Considering the particular missions she takes on, things relating to some very dangerous people, she's protective of you no matter how capable you may be.

She does keep your relationship under wraps, only allowing her most trusted allies to know she's seeing someone (it's even more rare for any of them to meet you, though if you're the one asking she might be persuaded), but instead of trying to hide you away completely she 100% will teach you how to defend yourself.

Hopefully it never comes to that, but at least she can rest a little easier knowing you have a fighting chance.

Is the type to be curt and no-nonsense around everyone else, but around you? It's not a complete 180 but she does soften up noticeably whenever you're with her.

This might be a surprise considering how hellbent she is on ending the drug trade, but she is incredibly sympathetic and supportive towards those struggling with addiction. Will be among the first to help/give out resources/etc. This goes doubly so for her partner no matter how messy it might get.

Is also someone who's self-conscious of her facial injury, but any special attention to it will fluster her.

Despite her tenacious and professional demeanor she loves physical affection - . It's a 50/50 on who ends up in whose lap.

Lockpick

The physical embodiment of 'you want it? you've got it'.

She's a master thief and you expect her to not spoil you? You're out of your damn mind.

Despite her dishonest ways Elodie is very family-oriented. While she's not as close with what living family she has left due to her criminal behavior it's likely she still keeps an eye on them from afar just so they don't get tangled up in any of her affairs.

She treats her relationship with you in a similar matter with a couple differences - more contact and spontaneous gifts, even some surprise visits if you're lucky.

There's been plenty of times where she lets herself in to wherever you're living or staying at the time, acting like she owns the place.

Hell, if you've been together long enough she just might own it.

Is a provider at heart, but definitely appreciates being on the receiving end once in a while. Sure, there's not a lot that you can get a woman who has just about anything she could want, but it's the thought that counts.

She'd also love for you to meet her family one day. It would be a bit of an ordeal and require a hell of a lot of trust in you, but if everything works out it would make for a pleasant evening.

[diseaseriddencube]

My Hazbin Song Rankings

Sometimes I only enjoy small sections of a song, but if those sections are good enough it can still rank higher than a song with a high percentage of decent sections.

Hell’s Greatest Dad: there's parts I don't like much but the song still gets 10/10 from me. The beginning segment for Lucifer and Alastor are my absolute favorite. After that it gets a little eh? I wish that fiddle moment went on for a second longer. Alastor's second section is more like 7/10. Mimzy is...yeah

Poison: 10/10 perfectly solid, no parts I dislike, while I prefer Angel's pilot va more in general, this guy does a good job especially for the songs. The song's catchy, no interrupted or talking sections, the animation for it is also very nice.

Hell Is Forever: 7/10 I like this one, Adam's chorus is absolutely a banger. the sections in between the chorus are more like 5/10, this one's in my playlist

Stayed Gone: 4/10 for the song as a whole, but the actual singing segments get a 7/10 for me, it just bothers me that half the song is talking rather than actual singing. I like Vox's voice, and Alastor plays well in contrast. The tune is nice and catchy, and the ending is perfectly sinister. That's the tea~ (this is in my playlist, with cropped out sections)

INSIDE OF EVERY DEMON IS A RAINBOW: the better beginning song from Charlie, 6.5/10. it's fairly catchy actually but it's not my favorite by a mile

Respectless: 6/10, Carmilla's got a nice powerful voice but Velvette's sections are the part I enjoy, it's a decent song but it won't go in my playlist.

Finale: the majority of the song gets like. 3/10. don't love it. the 25 seconds from the Vs get an 11/10 why couldn't the entire song be this good 😭 Alastor's part from a song perspective is maybe 4/10, as a scene it's a 10/10, but we're ranking the music alone here.

Loser, Baby: 6/10, I like the older style, the beginning part doesn't have appeal but I like the swing of the chorus. Husk's voice in general ain't my favorite but it's alright for this genre. Angel doesn't sound great in this one. Not going in my playlist but I like it well enough.

Happy Day In Hell: solid beginning song, very disney princess. It's not quite my thing, but it's catchy enough and doesn't bore me. 6/10 it ain't bad. wouldn't go in my playlist but I like it well enough

Inside of every demon, is a lost cause: a pilot song, any Alastor song may get a biased ranking, this gets like 5.5/10 though, it never really got my attention much as a song.

Out For Love: 5/10 eh, nothing about it I particularly hate, but it's forgettable and not doing anything for me. didn't need to be a song.

You Didn’t Know: the beginning sucks so bad, stop saying Sera you're pissing me off 😩 Sera's voice ain't doing it for me. Lute's beginning is where it starts getting better. maybe because they're reprising the much better Hell Is Forever. Charlie and Emma's duet is quite badass though. 5/10

Welcome To Heaven: 3/10, catchy but forgettable. didn't need to be here.

More Than Anything: put it away please. 3/10, it's fine I'm just really bored of it, if it wasn't 3 whole minutes long maybe I'd be more okay with it

More Than Anything (Reprise): just put. it. away. please!!!!

Ready For This: 3/10 I'm just bored, nothing wrong with it. forgettable. 5/10 for that little alastor/rosie section, I love their little dance too.

It Starts With Sorry: ugh. 2/10 I wouldn't put this on my playlist at all. it's slow and sappy and uuuuggghhh this did NOT need to be a song, bad viewer experience

Whatever It Takes: 2/10 put this shit away, this didn't need to be a song, it's so boring ahhhhhhh, Carmilla doesn't even sound great in some parts of this. it just goes onnnnnn and oooooonnnn. Vaggie's singing voice bothers me because she doesn't sound like herself, I honestly though she had a separate singing va

[gods-biggest-mistake-tbh]

okay

hear me out...

imp/sinner!reader who works for I.M.P. right? following along?

if they're an imp, then they do like everything cause they can.

if they're a sinner, they help loona out with receptionist shit cause they can't go to the other rings of hell and idk i mean they probably can't go to the world of the living as a sinner.

okay so that part is pretty normal. everybody should be following. this is where it starts to get a bit wild tho.

so if the reader is a sinner, let's assume they need a free place to live and just kinda stumbled upon the hazbin hotel one day and now they live there. right? not that bad. bit confusing but we chilling.

i have a lot more ideas with a sinner!reader cause idk imps are cool n all but i just SiNnErS

okay so let's say that the reader has a love interest. I'm personally really biased (well dUh) and would say it's luci. but i mean it could be anyone.

luci would also make a lot of sense plotwise??? like i mean ofc the reader would fall in love with him for who he is. but also when they find out that if they get married then they can be more useful at their job?? they'd be so excited.

idk does it sound interesting? should i? i probably explained this poorly bUt yeah.

if anyone else likes this idea and wants to write it as well, PLEASE DO!! i'd love to see your guys' takes on it. :)

[somuchbetterthanthat]

okay actually i'm putting this one directly under cut because this is pure fandom wank at this point

I understand not liking Martin as a character the same way I understand not liking like, any sort of character; Some people just don't work for you and that's how it is. I fully get people who don't like jmart, or jonelias for that matter, because at the end of the day, no matter how much I adore The Magnus Archives, it was NOT made to have any sort of proper focus on romance, and therefore we get too little of it for someone already not invested in the ship or the characters to be "sold over" by it, if that makes sense.

But KNOWING that, knowing that we do get little characters interactions in this show, especially in the early seasons, and therefore every single of them aren't put there just 'cause, it does annoy me when people seem to insist that Jon didn't even like Martin (yeah, in season ONE) or y'know, that Jon hated Elias from the start (My dudes, i'm not even sure he hated him in Season FIVE).

I agree that the build-up was perhaps subtle, and I DO think that in S3 we should have had more little notes and interactions for Jmart to fully sell their romance, but there WAS a build-up to Jmart, and their relationship DID evolve from season to season. Yes, Jon didn't like Martin at the beginning of s1. But by the end of the season already, after Martin moved in, we had hints of them already being put in the same bag ("You know how those two can be" - from ELIAS to Sasha no less!). After the worm invasion, Jon DID say that he'd witness a new side of Martin, and out of everybody he is the most pissed at Martin having potentially lied to him because Martin has also been the one understanding Jon's lingering fear - getting him the ashes, for exemple. Like i'm sorry, but basically whenever S2 Jon is not going on the deep ends, he's apparently having lunch dates with Martin and generally just hanging around with him (that HE initiates - Martin asks if he wants a sandwich. Jon says "i'll come with"). S3 literally opens with Daisy saying "People say you two are close" like.

We've met Jon. We know how Jon is like with people he doesn't like. Who in their right mind think SEASON 2 JON would hang out with Martin if he didn't want to.

By the time S3 rolls out you can feel that THEY are aware something changed already; they're stammering at each other because they're both aware of their own crush, and also easily loosing themselves to their own bickering (the scene in Gertrude's storage unit, BLESS.). Again, yes, I do feel like S3 deserved maybe at least a scene or two more, or a motion that they were calling each other during Jon's trips maybe. But saying they didn't like each other by that point is just. bad faith. You're allowed to dislike martin, but Jon just. didn't. He liked him.

AND SIMILARLY. Get away from me the notion that Jon disliked Elias from the start. He absolutely did NOT. He respected the hell out of him. He wanted to impress him. He was confident in their relationship enough to constantly go barge into his office to demand more stuff. He praised Elias's knowledge of the supernatural. HE BLOODY KEPT TRYING TO GET ADVICE FROM ELIAS ALL THE WAY UP TO THE END OF SEASON 4. And even besides that, S3 my beloved, after learning everything. EVERYTHING about what Elias had done so far, after having been hunted down and almost killed and been on the run for the murders ELIAS had committed, Jon still lingers back and ask Elias. Elias. in a soft voice "Am I still human?" seeking reassurance from him.

I mean, I don't know, maybe I'm biased because I like all the characters, the same way other people are biased because they don't like them, but; it gets so irritating. and it's my own fault for not blocking when I should, hence the whole fandom wank under the cut that won't be maintagged, but UGH.

[kittehbiscuits]

ok as someone who doesn’t really care for musical beetlelands (don’t get me wrong i understand what the appeal is and it’s a fine ship)

i LOOOVE what u r saying about movie beetlelands. something about that dynamic just sounds… chefs kiss. thanks for opening my eyes

THANK YOU!!!!!! I'm so glad you agree and I am going to rant about movie Beetlands now

Okay first of all, Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin are both 6'0, and Micheal Keaton is 5'9, so........ the icky man is shorter than both of them /pos

I'm going to be real I think Moviejuice is a real shitty guy, he was alive in the 1300s so I'm sure he's misogynistic, womanizing, homophobic, transphobic, etc. But just like the other two juices I still headcanon him as pansexual and genderfluid. So, the beetlands relationship would force him to face those biases. (I also headcanon the Maitlainds as T4T and bi because I am cringe what did u expect)

Speaking of biases and generally being a mischievous and evil creature, I know that Barbara would put him in his place and no way in hell would he not listen to a beautiful women if she told him what to do. He'd try to convince the Maitlainds otherwise but he absolutely loves being bossed/dragged around because he is sick and vile and silly.

I love movie Maitlainds so so so so much like, Barbara seeing Delia talk about changing their house and going "I'm gonna get her." THEY'RE SO FUNNY and so madly in love they make me sick..... like the scene where they were sitting on the couch and the phone was ringing but everytime one stood up to get it the other pulled them back and they smooched while giggling like ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

Ummmm also *because* of that I also like the idea of Beetlejuice being the recipient of that affection... listen he would have to earn it first but also I can't stop thinking about that evil creepy icky guy being faced with cuddles and kisses and pretending he doesn't like it because he's totally above all that and love is for losers. But *also* relationships totally are NOT unfamiliar territory for him he's like super experienced totally wdym.

He would be a cool weird uncle figure for Lydia hjahxjaodbabdjcjejahcjsofbsbsbajcjajdhakrhcbabd and Lydia would make him realize he's genderfluid sorry I don't make the rules

I NEED TO BEAT HIM UP GRAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He would like it.

I hate that thing guys so much horrible character I get no enjoyment from his stupid face and I totally don't think about him 24/7 mhm yeah.

[applestorms]

14, 17, 18 for the dmmd ask game (omg I can't believe you played it !!)

-@partingwayssoon

HELL YEAH dude i have literally done nothing else this weekend 👍 i love procrastination it's my favorite (original ask game)

14. Who is your favorite love interest?

immediately starting with the hardest question, oh god ;w; TBH the lame answer is that i like all of them for different reasons. the real answer is that i like aoba the best out of every character oops oh well. the actual answer is, idk, koujaku maybe (ur propaganda has been incredibly powerful) though i also find ren absolutely hysterical on multiple levels. tfw your soulmate who is both you and also your dog is put into your long lost twin brother's body, presumably so you can fuck irl instead of in your mind palace beach flashback. insanity.

17. What's your favorite good end?

possibly biased since this was the first (good) ending i got, but probably clear's, if only because i think it's batshit that it's even considered a good ending at all. for context, i stumbled across clear's route on my first playthru out of pure chance, not really trying for anyone specific, and accidentally got the bad ending first 👍 so that was great, but THEN i immediately went back to get the good ending and the fact that they have the AUDACITY to call fucking your robot boyfriend to DEATH a good ending is. i don't have the words to describe that emotion. yeah okay fine it's not getting all your limbs cut off but pul-lease, the fact that they are so visceral in describing his skin flaking off WHILE his cock is inside him makes me feel like chewing glass oh my god

18. What's your favorite bad end?

hmm i actually really like noiz's second bad ending (the pixel game one) :3c again specifically because it's referred to as a Bad ending and also the "comfortable world," where everything is just the same old shit over and over again forever. there's legitimately some interesting philosophy underpinning a lot of DMMD, especially in the true route w/ all the sei shit-- it seems like they're pushing back against a very particular kind of buddhist philosophy about the value of letting go of desires (?? not only an idea in buddhism tbh, this also shows up in some daoism + greek stoic stuff + hinduism, like i'm pretty sure there's a famous section of the bhagavad gita where krishna specifically advocates a similar idea-- apologies, i'm not familiar enough w/ all the source material to know what exactly which thing DMMD is trying to criticize, if they're getting that specific at all), which is like weirdly perfect for a game largely based around constant gay sex ahahahhaha (note as well the sanskrit om symbols plastered across all of toue's endgame rhyme world). i also just love all the glitchy shit at the end of noiz's route, it feels Very fitting for the character.

+ not the question, but least favorite bad ending is probably mink's, if only cuz it feels incredibly anticlimactic after Everything Else. like the decapitation thing isn't bad but. eh. maybe i'm just desensitized after all the dirkjake but c'monnnnnnnnn, mink can be worse. i know he can. i believe in him <3