#okay tag essay over but honestly my short personal posts are just excuses for me 2 write basically diary entries in the tags. God bless 👍🏻

[opqrstuv04]

Going to see twenty one pilots tomorrow with my roommate and my dad and sister, and DNP in November :)) middle school is back in a big way baby!

[cblgblog]

On fanfic authors and reader interaction

Time to lose some followers, probably, but let’s start with what should be an uncontroversial statement.

Every fic writer deserves more reviews. Don’t care if you average 5 comments per fic/per chapter, or if you’re one of the lucky ones who get closer to 50. Every single writer deserves more feedback on their work. It takes guts to put that stuff out there. To take something you love, that other people love, and put your own spin on it. Hoping that your spin is something people enjoy in even slightly the same way they enjoyed the original. That takes guts, and work, and absolutely everyone deserves more feedback on what they put out there.

That said? Some fic writers treat their readers like shit, and it’s not okay.

The other day, post hit my dash that was discussing a cute fanfic scenario, and someone tagged their favorite authors in it, asking them where the fic was. It was obviously said in excitement, not literally “Hey losers, why haven’t you written this fic about this thing I just found out about?”

One of the tagged authors—one, there were several—responded back. With an angry rant about how rude it is to demand fic from authors. How disrespectful, how ungrateful, this author has written sooo many fics for this fandom, people are so rude and the author doesn’t get paid for this, if you want a fic, get a commission, fork over the money.

Stuff like this is so not okay. If someone is legitimately being a demanding asshole, that’s one thing. If, on the other hand, someone is requesting a fic, they’re excited, and they think highly enough of someone’s writing that they think of that author along with the idea they’re excited about? They do not deserve to be insulted for that, especially publicly. If you don’t want to write the story, politely say no. Or say nothing at all. Or, if you feel you must tell this person off for the horrible crime of liking your writing, do it in a PM.

And this argument about not getting paid? That’s…kinda the gig, unfortunately. There are people who write fics that are absolutely worth paying money for, but the nature of copyrights gets in the way. And you authors who feel the need to point out how many hours you put in for no pay? That’s not nothing. I absolutely believe that you’re putting a lot of time and effort in. But you aren’t the only ones. That’s…pretty much every fic writer out there, and most of us don’t try to hold it against our readers, because we know that’s the way things work.

If you need money for your words? Fine, write a book. I say that more flippantly than I mean it. I’m trying to do that now, and it’s hard. It’s hard leaving the comfort of familiar characters, of a built-in audience. But it’s also what you do if it’s money you’re after. Or write articles, write lists, there are so many different forms of writing you can make money on, but fics aren’t it. I personally don’t even believe in accepting money for fic commissions, because it gives copyright holders an excuse to get pissed off and make things miserable for fic readers and writers alike, but that’s another essay.

The point is, don’t choose to work in a medium where money isn’t part of the deal and everyone knows that, and then complain about not making money.

Both related and unrelated. Saw a fic earlier that had “guidelines” for reviews. These guidelines read like the directions for a worksheet you’d be forced to do in school. Summarize what happened, explore specific scenes, what would you improve on? That was the gist.

Now look. Sometimes people don’t know what to say in comments, and it’s legitimately helpful to offer suggestions. If that’s how they are framed, as suggestions, then fine. But this person liked to criticize people in their comment section, people who left positive feedback. Because the comments were too short, not specific enough. Someone else got dinged for saying something about how they couldn’t wait for the update. Author gave them the above lecture about being “demanding.”

There is a difference between people being legitimately rude and demanding, and people who are excited about your work. You know the surest way to make sure they stop being excited? Calling them an asshole for it.

Everyone wants deep, detailed essays about all the little moments that readers loved in their fic. Everyone. I’ve been lucky enough to have a couple readers across different fandoms who give those consistently, and they are amazing. But not every reader can do that. Not everyone has the time or the ability to give those essays. People have jobs, they have families. Sometimes they’ve been writing detailed reports all day at work, and they just don’t have the mental energy to write another one about this coffeeshop au. Sometimes it’s just hard to put into words the specific thing about that fic that spoke to you. Sometimes that fic is so good that you’re afraid to interact, afraid you won’t be able to do justice to how much you love that fic in your review.

And you know what really sucks? When you try to do that anyway, and you get a snide reply from that author who just made you so happy a few hours ago, implying that you’re lazy or stupid or ungrateful for not giving more.

I’ve been lucky enough to get those reviews that are full of thoughtful insights, that are hundreds of words, that make me so happy to read. I also had a guy who wrote me basically the same review every time. Great chapter, can’t wait for more. That was basically it, every time. He did this for the couple of years that we shared a fandom. I befriended him somehow, we traded messages, and I could tell that yes, he did read the chapters, he wasn’t just copy and pasting a response, he just wasn’t one who could do long reviews. Did I pretty much know what every comment of his was going to say? Yes. Did I get comments that were more varied/interesting to read? Yes.

Here’s the thing. That guy still read almost all my stuff, for years. He still became a friend. He still took time after every chapter to encourage me and show that he was there, he liked the work. And that is so, so great.

Some people will always write shorter comments, for various reasons. Some people don’t know what to say, so they smash the keyboard and add some hearts. And that’s okay. That needs to be okay, if you’re gonna do fic. You can’t control how people respond to your work. You can’t dictate that. Obviously, some people are dicks in the comments and will read 10,000 new words and do nothing but complain about how long they took. Those people should be dragged. But when someone doesn’t comment in the exact way you want, and you call them out for it? No. How is anyone supposed to feel comfortable offering you constructive criticism when you insult them after they tell you how much they liked your work?

Fanfic is escape. For so many people. They come to these authors, these characters, for comfort. It’s not fucking comforting when an author you tried to engage with attacks you for it.

Some people…really need to get out of writing fic. Or at least take a break. Because it is work, it is draining, and it sucks when you feel your efforts aren’t recognized. But if you’re to a point where you’re resentful of your readers? Take a step back. If you’re doing something that’s not fun for you, making it not-fun for them isn’t going to help. Most authors welcome friendly comments, of any kind. We don’t want people being afraid to talk to us because they had a bad experience with another author.

Every author deserves more reviews. Honestly, they do. But no author is owed reviews. Just like we as authors don’t owe anyone any writing.

Write because you enjoy it, because you enjoy sharing it and getting reactions. If that’s not the case? Step away for a bit. Or don’t say anything to the comments you deem not good enough. Or moderate the comments. There are so many things you can do besides insulting a reader who took time out of their life to read your stuff, and genuinely, in good faith, tried to reach out to you.

[softnorwegians]

Some asks that I’m answering all together because I don’t have much to say and didn’t necessarily want to put them all on people’s dashes:

I just rewatched Season 2 and I‘m asking myself why I liked Noora that much. Besides the whole William thing. What he did to Vilde was so gross and he did not change. And let’s be hones, what happend to Noora when she was young was what William did to Vilde. Besides that. When she just directly shows Eva the tabs on Isaks Phone and talks about him and Sara in such a judgmental and mean way. And the whole Syria Crisis thing was so awkward, she didn’t really care. She just wanted to seem better 1\

2 than Eskild. And how she kissed Yousef even though she was so sure that Sana fancied him. And why? Because Sana did not tell her William had a new girlfriend. But in season 2 Noora doesn’t tell Eva about Jonas new girlfriend for a while. She tells her right before Eva and her go to the party where Jonas and his girlfriend are too. Ugh Noora in season 1 was awesome but they completely destroyed her character.

Yeah, tbh Noora was never one of my favorites? Maybe because I try to live-and-let-live and not get too judgmental so it’s extra painful to see someone failing at that. I think Noora is realistic and sometimes relatable but it can be a little hard to watch, hahaha.

I was always okay with Noora until s4 though! I absolutely got completely sick of her during s4, ajhksjf. I don’t hold kissing Yousef against her because I like to pretend that just didn’t happen but I was exhausted by how much we were seeing and hearing about her.

I’m confused as to why people are upset about William getting mad at Noora when he thought she slept with Nikolai?? Unless I’m remembering it wrong, he asked her “did you sleep with my brother” and she responded with “I don’t know” and he stormed off. That definitely doesn’t seem like an overreaction to me, just miscommunication as to what happened and what exactly Noora didn’t know (whether she was raped or not vs. whether she had consensual with him or not)

Well, “I don’t know” is an answer that doesn’t really make sense when related to the question of having sex so I think people felt like it was little ‘eh’ to not pick up on the undercurrent of what she was saying with it. But yeah, I’m not holding his initial reaction against him. It’s when he gets the texts that I’m like “...what”.

just saw this in the tag "blackmail? lol she doesn't have to go on the date. all she had to do was say "hell no" and then tell vilde what happened. it's not that serious". why did society teach us it's desirable for a man to never stop even if you say no to him, that if he just keeps pushing you'll see the light eventually. it's also funny that france leaked a key episode again to create hype. there's no way it isn't intential. i guess at least Italy will get s3 since they're in Oslo now *sighs*

I probably should have addressed more about Noora agreeing to the date but oh well. ...I have an allergic reaction to “s3” and “remake” in the same sentence. It’s making me not want to watch any of the remakes any farther, tbh.

one thing is also that he doesn't say it in a joking way, he sounds serious and it's very bad directed if that line was supposed to be a cute way of asking for consent.

Yeah, agreed, like I don’t get that at all from the line. It’s more what I figure it has to be.

If you look past how unnecessary annoying and obsessed Julie made Vilde (to a point some people probably thought it all was Vilde and not William), she also had a pattern with Norh*lm. His friends get beat up instead of him, he acts like 180, Noora doesn't owe him. He gets mad and hurt when she tells the truth, he walks away and she lays it out again but she kisses him. She doesn't know if she was assaulted but she has to get him back when he's been hurt. What a mess but boyfriend goalz!

I’m tired.

If it's hard to see how Wilhelm pressured Noora then switch it out to be about sex or coming out of the closet and add in how everything affects Vilde with her eating disorder and fragilness with her feelings then perhaps it's clear as a day.

Sorry, I’m not quite following this one! But I feel like I would support you. 😁

I don't see why peolke think william changes in s2? He gets points from his fans that he stops sleeping with girls, is gentle and soft (Vilde said he was that and that's why she fell back to her, NHs must really dislike Vilde in the 2.8 scene), doesn't pressure her with sex after she says she wants to wait, doesn't read her messages, finishes her essay while she's sleeping after a panic attack and GOSH doesn't leave his love in that state to party hard. Then ignores/levavs her when he finds out.

I’m still with Vilde, she deserved better than William and why isn’t that true for Noora too?

I would actually say literally nothing I hate about willhelm (besides not using a condom) is stuff heard via rumors and gossip and actually just through stuff he actually does onscreen lol. Also even if He never would've actually told Vilde about what happened threatening to do so isn't any better sorry

I just really hate in general that he’s leveraging something to get to Noora. I mean, she does agree to this date (offscreen) but even then, it was a bargain and not because she actually wanted to be there. What kind of “date” is that. I just hate seeing that in any context, a woman coerced into a “romantic” situation.

“Take Vilde, she reveals he was loyal, caring and gentle when they had sex beforehand we were made to believe the opposite was true”..Um and then he slept with every girl in school. I mean sleep with whoever you want, however many people you want but being gentle and nice in sex doesn’t mean your a good person. That is the opposite of loyal.... I don’t even hate William honestly think I hate Noora more but the pro side always reaches so hard only people who reach more are the Jonas haters.

Oh, yes, I didn’t comment on that but the “loyal” definitely doesn’t apply.

I agree we should have gotten way more Vilde and Even content and way less Noora and William drama. I hated the way Vilde was portrayed(the comments she made about Sana to the Pepsi max girls and just some stuff she did/said we’re not cool and I didn’t like that it was kinda brushed aside)and don’t get me started on the lack of Even. He was(I’m assuming)a big part of her life, he was best friends with her brother and was probably around a lot and we just didn’t get the storyline they deserved.

*pours one out for the s4 we imagined during the hiatus* 

Common trauma? Amazing how William knows Noora doesn't feel loved and left by her parents yet he shuts her out and leaves her after he's seen her having a panic attack when she can't breathe and says she feels as if she's going to die over something she isn't ready to share yet. And this is supposed to be a desirable relationship? At least they are attractive? But attractive white fuckboys have always gotten what they point at.

Yeahhhhhhhh, it really does make it harder to excuse what he does when he knows something is wrong and she’s actually pretty upfront with “there’s something I have to tell you but can’t yet”.

it's amazing how most 18/19 are decent at that age and you get to vote, drive and drink, but if you are a rich badboy you have a right to act however you want and people must forgive you in the end. since julie never made his bff chris be more than a second supporting character, why couldn't he be the huge asshole instead and wilhelm had to be torn with his loyalty? then I rmbr the blackmail date did so he missed defending his boys, tg s1 didn't say it was the date's fault he wasn't there! 😊

I don’t even mind that they started William out as an asshole, they just went too far with it imho and never pointed out “this behavior is wrong and we know it” and he never had to atone or redeem himself for what he did.

n8rhelm is supposed to be the classic hate to love story, there's a million movies but ive never seen one where the person is terrible to the love interest and manipulate them like this. also william is a really weak actor, don't know if that doesn't translate,all he have is his looks and glaring stares. he couldn't even deliver pretending to be a bad actor with niko there or when he tells nooea to be quick with the water. he has no timing or natrualness, only kisses and react n's great acting

I find Thomas Hayes to be... not a great actor but also not completely terrible? There’s some scenes I buy him (the marching band scene where he’s rolling his eyes I remember as good?) but he doesn’t bring a lot sometimes. idk.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “(1) ok I’m pro-noorhelm and arguing via ask is hard with a limit and I…”

And whenever Noora talks about his good qualities and whatnot, we never really get to see them. It’s all off screen. It would be easier to forgive him if we actually got to see his change, but ah well

��� I think that would really improve things, tbh.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “the funniest argument to me used by noorh*lm stans in excusing his…”

It also perpetuates the idea that ‘no means convince me’ and that’s farked up

Ugh, yeah. That’s one of the more depressing undercurrents of s2.

daigina replied to your post “1)The truth is really in the eyes of the beholder , you guys don’t…”

I agree it’s a good move with William but it does nothing to resolve the major problem with him that season which is how he treated Noora with no discussion or explanation or apology at all. If that detail had been fitted into even a short discussion between the two over all of THAT in Williams clip that would have been soooo nice

Also that was such a tiny thing?? Like they didn’t even spare two seconds of dialogue on it, it’s barely there. If you need a magnifying glass to see character development, does it count?

Yeah, I liked that lawyer detail but it really was such a last minute, supplementary thing!

i still think julie had no idea what the fight was about in s4 or changed her mind when someone was coming back. we knew she rewrote and missed gullruten, several norwiegians reported on rumors at the time that she bearly had written the last episode when it was time for recording. she wrote the fan fave to have an unprovoked violent moments just in time to bring back the one who everyone complained had hit someone with a bottle. and how could yousef've been so wrong about what happened at bakka

oh god, let’s not even get started. it just makes me sad to think about how thrown together s4 wound up being.

Hi. Is it true that skam italia is using a white actress to play Sana, a muslim character?If so, it is wrong in so many levels, tbh!

I believe the actress is white and isn’t a muslim. And yeah, nagl. 

I feel like that with skam france they have the intention to do a season 3 and want it to start in autumn to align with the original series. I’m not saying I agree or like this tactic but it seems to make the most sense of why. Sure the time span is short between 1 and 2 but it’s not the most unrealistic. The director said he went on this project because of season 3 especially so I guess that’s why I think it’s like this. It would be more odd for Lucas to move in to the flat during the year.

Oh god... sorry, not you, I’m just at the point where I really don’t like being reminded that season three will ever be remade anywhere.

[regrettablewritings]

Writer’s Tag

Rules: Answer all 21 questions, let the one who tagged you know you answered and then tag your writing pals!

I was tagged by:  @locke-writes. What beast hath you released upon these fields?

The Works:

1. Which is the imagine you’re most proud of?

Hmmm...Not a whole lot because it takes me a while to actually be content with the things I’ve written. At this point, however, I’m most pleased with Stripulation because it was my first Barba fic and done while also writing a long-ass essay on Titus Andronicus. Plus, I managed to speak to @ohbelieveyoume in the first place because I bombarded her with my thoughts on how Barba’s secret could’ve been that he was a stripper. I also think that how it was written sets the tone for my general style of writing: Dramatic, humorous, and just plain weird in some cases. HC set-wise, definitely the Kidnapped HCs. I’m rather proud of how they turned out almost like a regular, paragraphical story and I finally got to use some of the angst I disturbingly like to read about when reading rescue stories. ...Ignore that.  Plus, that sucker is 9 pages in Word!

2. Which is your least favourite?

Blargh, what isn’t my least favorite? . . . Okay but yeah, I’ve honestly never been too fond of The One Reason to Love the Glasshouse. I wrote it right before I blew a mental gasket and couldn’t be pleased with anything I wrote, and I think it shows. The writing feels so lifeless and boring . . . HC set-wise, the NSFW Digger Harkness piece, which is a shame because I love Capt. Boomerang. I think I was just in an off headspace at the time of writing it and also wasn’t sure what to do when it came to writing Digger’s accent.

3. If you were to recommend one to read to your mum/mom?

My mom knows I have a blog where I write, but I could never tell her who or what i wrote about. Besides, she’s wicked good at editing and would spot every single mistake I’ve made and I can barely handle the feeling of a classmate reading over my mistakes, much less my own mother. But if I had to -- gun to my head -- it’d probably be How to Be a Good Catholic. She herself is Catholic and would likely widen her eyes at the crap I wrote ( “We don’t do that anymore, crazy girl!!”). I would, of course, be hiding as she reads it.

4. Which one would you consider re-writing?

God, so many if I actually had the drive. I particularly am not entirely fond of how I ended The Hairy Situation; I know I wanted to go a different route with it, but I can’t remember what I initially had planned. I also probably should’ve divided up Day Bi Day: A Documented Study of the Bisexual because that bastard is way too long to hold general attention. I want to add more to the Dating Finn Would Include but may as well just make a second part to it when I had the time. Might rewrite or at least gussy up the NSFW Digger Harkness HCs though. I also wish I could rewrite the ending of  How to Be a Good Catholic. because I have a bad habit of never knowing how to finish a story until it’s already been posted and gained attention.

5. Biggest regret in an imagine?

Writing The One Reason to Love the Glasshouse. It was just so sloppy and I guess I just wanted to write it to force creativity out of me. It fell unceremoniously into a grotto in my opinion. Also, I wish I could remember how to write simpler. You can tell which imagines were from when I was first starting out because they’re shorter than my more recent stuff (with the exception of A Practice in Happy Memories). The reason why is because most of them were written on my phone

6. Biggest success with an imagine?

Writing Day Bi Day to play out somewhat like a documentary was a bit of a nightmare because documentaries are such an audible and visual thing, even with storytelling regarded. But I fucking did it (I think)! I’m also really proud with how the Kidnapping HCs came out, too. I was originally going to keep it short and simple and start with the reader already being kidnapped with very little interaction between Bruce and the kidnappers but it kept flowing out until I decided to give it a beginning, middle, and end

7. Your imagine with the most notes?

M’kay so it took some time (had to go through each one of these blasted things and record their note counts), but I’ve finally come back with the numbers. In terms of an actual imagine in typical fanfiction format, my most popular piece is . . . the Jonathan Byers Soulmate AU. I also looked at my headcanons as well! The most popular one for that format was . . . the . . . Dating Jonathan Byers Would Include. . . .  *sighs heavily and takes a swig from Dr. Pepper bottle* Y’know, I miss when Bruce was my money-maker. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

8. Your imagine with the least notes?

. . . *skims through shit again* Uhhhh . . . HC-wise, I think my NSFW Digger?? I know there’s much lower but they belong to the basic HC memes. Traditional format-wise, The Hairy Situation.

9. What do you think makes a good imagine? Tips?

I. . . don’t really know. Honestly, I wing most of my stuff. The only thing I can say is write what you want to see with the notion that it’s not already there.

10. When’s the next update on your works?

Aside from the NSFW Frank Castle meme that’s been sitting in the cellar of my inbox since November, the only thing I got is the prize for my giveaway winner. Otherwise, unless somebody donates or whatever, I don’t plan on writing until I got my shit in order.

11. Number of followers before you started writing and after? I made this blog for the purpose of dumping my crap here instead of dumping it on others via their submissions box. So 0. At the time of this post, it’s 1,264. I don’t understand how it got this bad.

———————————————————————-

The Writer:

1. Which character do you love writing for?

The character who I keep winding up writing for is Barba. Since SVU left his personal life wide-fucking open (fucking assturds),there’s plenty to work with. I particularly seem to take sadistic joy in putting him in blush-worthy situations that force him to be more open with his significant other.

2. Which character do you dislike writing for?

There are, but I’ve never had to write for them to begin with.

3. What’s your favourite AU to write for?

Soulmate AUs are generally the only ones I’ve written for consistently.

4. What’s your least favourite AU to write for?

Haven’t written for any AUs other than a buncha soulmate AUs and one mobster AU.

5. What do you hope never gets requested?

Anything rape-y or morally disturbing.

6. What do you wish was requested more?

Hmmm... Well, I don’t really take requests until I’m doing memes to be honest. I can’t trust myself to handle actual requests for a bunch of reasons, though for some reason people only ever request things after I’ve finished asking them for their opinions on things to post.

7. Thoughts on writing Smut/POC/Curvy/MxM/FxF?

H’oh boy. So I’m gonna divide these up by least wordy to most:

1. FxF: I’m okay with it because my sexuality makes it easier for me to put on that mindset. 2. Smut: I can write headcanons, but not full-blown imagines. As a virgin who’s already got some weird situation going on with sex, I know I’m not capable of filling out two to three pages worth of intercourse of any kind. 3. POC: I’m most familiar with writing with a black reader in mind, given that I myself am black. I can try to write for other ethnicities, but admittedly will likely walk on eggshells about it. The thing is, you can’t always or even often write with a POC reader in mind and just leave it at that. While there may be some overlap in circumstances between some groups, each ethnicity has its own stereotypes and situations to confront and conquer in a given situation such as a relationship. Therefore, if I write with a non-black reader in mind, I would still need to ask a person from the group I’m intending to write about just to assure I do right by them. But still gonna be met with extreme hesitancy because that’s not an intersectionality I’m familiar with. 4. MxM: Okay so . . . I can’t do this. I was just explaining to a friend the other day and you can be disappointed in me all you want, but I can’t knowingly write MxM for a couple of reasons. I can try to write gender-neutral (if I remember to), but writing MxM is . . . Okay, just hear me out: I know it may seem like a copout, but I genuinely don’t feel comfortable writing for something I don’t quite understand. Now before you go yelling at me about how I don’t understand a lot of the shit I do write for, let me explain. I am not male. I have never been male. And at this point, I highly doubt I will ever identify as male. I cannot pull or properly fathom the experience of being a queer male, cis or trans. I cannot provide for it the depth I feel that it requires. I know that may seem like a lame excuse, but I mean it. I can write FxF a little better because my sexuality allows for me to comprehend attraction to another female and how it could potentially play out. I cannot draw inspiration or direction from reading MxM fics, either, because I don’t read them. It’s just not my bag. On top of this, a lot of MxM media, both fiction-wise and published story-wise, appear to be written by girls. And while many of them are skilled, I’m sure, my issue is that I can’t in confidence trust them to be entirely spot-on with their interpretations, either. Many interpretations of queer male relationships (at least in Western media) that females initially and even predominantly gain familiarity with come with roots in fethisization and an often occurring desire to see not two consenting males who are emotionally compatible come together, but instead a desire to see two of the most attractive (and often white/white-passing) males come together regardless of how healthy their relationship would realistically be or how much of a foundation it actually has to stand upon. I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, but I had to be honest. I don’t like lying. I just feel that it’s not my place to theorize the happenings of a real lifestyle that comes with struggles I would not and could not be familiar with or feel comfortable winging at. Just like with writing with a POC reader in mind, there are just some struggles that don’t blanket everybody no matter how much you wish it could because it’d just be simpler for you. Everything that isn’t cis, white, straight, and male (aka intersectional) has a struggle that not everyone is going to be able to comprehend with utmost perfection.

8. Which account is your biggest inspiration in writing?

Hmmm... I try to be dramatic and poetic like @ohbelieveyoume, or sensual like @xemopeachx, or nice and homey like @mrsrafaelbarba, or cute and with lovely references and diction like @jonedwardbernthal. I would like to be more broad with my fandoms like @locke-writes, too. Buuuttt . . . I guess what I got going for me now is a’ight. I pride myself off of using my weird sense of humor in my writing anyway.

9. How long have you been an imagine writer for?

One year.

10. Any upcoming secret works? 🤔

Ha! Nope. Just the two things whenever they get done and then that’ll be it unless something happens.

[veronicadvalle]

Hey I have a question How come when all these articles are saying that fans think "Cami and KJ might be dating" alot of people get upset? Cuz I know their first response is she has a bf and whatever ( which we were not clear on before) but when people started shipping SH and saying that they were together no one had a problem. ( I know Lili didn't have a bf but they don't know that) Also I was reading the comments and alot of them were saying so a guy and a girl can't be friends

Also why can’t we just ship them, not disrespecting Cami and her personal life but just cuz we like that pairing if it were to happen ? It’s not like we go up to her door and say “Date KJ Now”. Do you know what I mean ? ( PS. It’s not 100% sure if SH are together, even though it might seem so ) Basically what I’m asking is why can’t we ship them out of fun because we like both the actors and their chemistry ? (2/2)

Well, the short and probably underwhelming answer is, its complicated. 

And before i move forward, this is my disclaimer that I’m gonna be talking about  the collective. So before people yell at me like, “NOT ALL SHIPPERS ARE LIKE THAT/DO THAT,” let me make it clear: i’m speaking of the collective and the general perspective I have received and gathered. So yeah …. maybe not all people do that, but enough people did that it left a mark in how I remember/see things. 

I don’t think we can ‘ship’ real life people the way we ‘ship’ characters. @onceuponamirror has a great post about this on their page. Link is here. And I agree with their point that everyone has to be careful about not overanalyzing real life people in the way we do to characters. The sole reason for this is that these are real life people! They aren’t their characters. They stop playing their characters the moment they are off set and off camera. They give us the show so we can overanalyze the heck of that narrative and that fiction; let’s stop there and not take this over-analytical attitude to their real lives as well. I honestly think it’s an invasion of privacy to deconstruct every single glance, touch, word that comes out of these people. They can’t do anything without someone writing a 1k essay about it, and I just think that’s wrong. 

But to get to your point, I totally see where you are coming from. The moment people shared that one article about Are KJ and Camila dating?!, a few comments (from people who openly ship SH) were along the lines of “this is embarrassing” and/or “i’m cringing.” My first thought was: “well, this is rich coming from you.” Because, as you pointed out, in the early days of the SH rumors, a lot of people were doing that overanalyzing and inserting their own narrative when it easily could have simply been platonic. It’s pretty clear and obvious that they are dating now, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that fans were pulling apart every single thing these people did to prove that they are dating. If SH even did as much as exchanged a look, 50 people would share it in the tags to prove something. That’s what I’m getting at. They used to interpret the smallest detail as romantic. So to see a few people say that its so embarrassing for people think KJ and Cami are dating, it’s …. ironic. Very, very ironic. 

Camila maintains her relationship private. that’s clear to everyone. I don’t think there is even a picture of him on her instagram / twitter. So, I’m not surprised that many people don’t know about the boyfriend. I personally think that many people think that articles of KJ/Cami dating are cringey or embarrassing because she has a boyfriend. But that’s simply a hindsight bias, because we know that information. But many people don’t. And if Camila didn’t have a boyfriend, would these ‘dating’ rumors hold more weight amongst fans? What I’m trying to say is that these KJ/Camila rumors that news outlets report on doesn’t feel that much different from what the early SH fanbase used to look/sound like. I’m sorry if that’s something blasphemous or sacrilegious thing to say but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that’s honestly how it feels like. People would make narratives or make assumptions about SH very early on and now news outlets (who aren’t aware of Cami’s boyfriend) are doing the exactly same thing for KJmila. Which I just think is super ironic. (I also think a huge factor of this double standard is because SH plays the fan-favorite ship on tv, but you didn’t hear that from me >.> )

My point I also want to hit at is this misconception fans have of “let’s keep the shipping out of their social medias and even further away from articles” Which I just think is … futile, to say the least. Shippers (those who are seriously shipping real life people) get very upset when a tabloid or news outlet writes a story about “Are so-and-so dating?” From what people told me and from what I’ve gathered, it’s because shippers are like “we are allowed to ship them in our individual social media but we don’t want to bother them with all the shipping stuff.” And that notion just seems incredibly naive, and idealistic. Think of it like this: shippers threw a party to celebrate their ship, and then they are like, “guys, we can’t wake up Mr Tabloid and Ms News Outlet next door.” But then the shippers have the music super loud (aka, the 500x posts a day about how these two actors are dating). You’re gonna wake them up because y’all aren’t subtle!!! By seriously shipping these actors, you will automatically catch the tabloids/news outlets’ attention. That’s just the fact of the matter. Shipping isn’t this self contained bubble. So when people started wondering whether KJ and Camila are dating, that caught news outlet’s attention. That’s just how news work. As long as there are these huge fandoms, entertainment news and tabloids are gonna exist. They go hand in hand. That’s just the fact of the matter. 

Now, in regards of “shipping for fun”, I’m down with that. I’ll be a hypocrite if I said I don’t enjoy, let’s say, two youtubers’ personality and dynamic together. And, no i’m not talking about dan and phil. xD I think people can admire and enjoy a specific dynamic between two people without immediately starting a blog about how they are dating in real life! They are in love! How can you not see that they have been dating for 73 days, 17 hours, 4 minutes?! You know what I mean? You are allowed to enjoy a specific dynamic between people. And I love KJ and Camila’s dynamic. I really do. I have posts of them from comic con and other panels that I reblog routinely because they have such an adorable dynamic together.  You are also allowed to root for a couple who are dating. And I think all of that is okay! But some people take it too far. All the overanalyzing and the long posts and the investigation is taking it too far. And that’s simply how I feel about it. 

So … after I wrote a book about this (sorry, anon), I think you are allowed to enjoy Cami and KJ’s dynamic. I think there is nothing wrong with that. The only part I don’t agree with is the overanalyzing, taking it too far. Other than that, you do you. 

I don’t mean to insult anyone, I really don’t. Don’t organize a riot against me. These are simply my thoughts on the matter. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

I might be wrong and I would love to hear others’ thoughts on the matter.