#okay so. writing seems very personal to me and i don't normally do this for various reasons (it's terrifying)
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idliketobeatree · 10 months ago
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okay. listen. whatever you do, don't think about how nothing about Heaven feels loved.
certainly not in the way Aziraphale's used to, a sunshine warm unexpected delight. there are no flashes of love from places or people falling and grieving and caring too much. it took him a while, but ever since he can tell the difference it's like forgetting how to breathe, can't stop the wheeze. within the air occupied by the angels (their chests don't move, do their hearts have a rhythm?) a wrong-shaped, lost cabin pressure meets him halfway, only they don't hang masks from that ceiling, he's looking down at the aeroplanes. he could always breathe easier with - red and black at the periphery - yellow too, if he's lucky. (he's not anymore)
put a hand to it, and he can pretend that the burning too high in his throat glows steady and low inside the chest; pray, so it matches someone, anyone, way Down below.
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thethingything · 6 months ago
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"why do I feel so weird and awful" says man who already made a post half an hour ago that included the reasons he feels weird and awful
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#I'm trying to work out if I need a fun distraction or if I need to do something cathartic instead#I feel strange in a way I can't quite place. I think I might be having emotional flashbacks#and I'm not like... upset at the moment? but I feel like in a couple of hours I'm gonna be hit with emotions I don't want to deal with#there's a very specific feeling that I can't seem to describe in any normal way which might mean I need to write poetry about it instead#something about summer evenings seems to fuck us up sometimes and it's just occurred to me that I think we write more poems in summer#and I only just noticed this pattern because I think we got to the start of summer last year#and started writing poems about how much the summer fucks us up#the thing is I like summer and I've been looking forward to it but it also comes with this kind of weird nostalgic feeling#and it ends up being really bittersweet#it's like that quote or post or whatever about August giving you some of the most beautiful but bittersweet moments of your life#every so often I'm like ''okay I say we get summer depression and winter depression but we're depressed all the time#so are we really getting special kinds of depression in summer and winter?'' and then I get to like June and November#and I'm like ''oh okay yeah no this is a different feeling to the background level of depression we have''#this fucks us up in new and exciting ways that I don't want to fucking deal with but will do anyway because I don't have a choice
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greaseonmymouth · 5 months ago
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I saw this shared around on Threads (why do I go there, I hate it) and commented on as 'this article is so good' and 'must read' including by a few people whose opinion I normally respect, and seeing as monsterfucking and monster everything is like a special little interest for me, I of course instantly clicked through to read it
and I have to say
what the everloving heterosexual fuck is this
two fat paragraphs about omegaverse that don't even mention its origins - I mean - I just - gaze upon this phrase, and despair:
During estrous, Omegas’ vaginas ooze with “slick,” responding to the Alpha’s intoxicating pheromonal perfume.
IT'S CALLED "SLICK" BECAUSE IT'S FROM SELF-LUBRICATING ANUSES. THE REASON THE OMEGAS NEED SELF-LUBRICATING ANUSES TO BEGIN WITH IS BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE VAGINAS.
I. have been rendered figuratively speechless. the straights don't know what slick is. the. i. how. how did we end up like this
their dicks swell at the base, creating a “knot,” which lodges them inextricably in the Omega’s slick-soaked (I am so sorry) vagina.
"(I am so sorry)" girl you're writing an article about monster smut and then you have the gall to be embarrassed by the this tame ass (or should i say vagina?) heterosexual omegaverse?
okay, okay. deep breaths. we've only just got started. we started by covering Morning Glory Milking Farm, a minotaur/human erotic romance novel, which well - I've read it, and it's not a bad book by any means, it was actually very very good, a solid story with a great cast and perfectly paced and satisfying romance and loads of sex - is very straight. it's just a minotaur. it's a big guy with a big dick. it's your standard gentle giant/normal sized girl romance. it's not very freaky, but you know, I don't blame the average reader for coming into this thinking this is some out there stuff. gotta start somewhere, right? we didn't all come up through draco/the giant squid crackfic in 2005, you know? and now we've covered Sarah J Maas and we're entering omegaverse territory, this is getting knottier now, right, freakier? this article is going somewhere, right?
you can imagine the intrigue, enemies-to-lovers, and other story lines involved as each captured female eventually finds the member of the barbarian tribe who is destined to worship and fuck the living daylights out of her for the rest of their lives. Oh, and their dicks have a sensitive spur on top designed for clitoral stimulation. It’s just as blue and velvety as the rest of their big alien bodies.
okay so the minotaurs aliens are blue now, i guess.
It seems, also, like the romance genre as a whole is being pushed by monster romance to make things in human-human books as freaky as possible.
ohh?? are we finally getting a proper freak on now??
This genre, “why choose?” or “MMF” (or sometimes even MMMF or MMFM), and also known as “reverse harem,” always features a heroine who is showered with sexual attention by men who are also sexually involved with each other.
having a thousand yard stare moment over here
this author seriously thinks that all these heterofied monster romance tropes are paving the way for the real freaky stuff that is, checks notes, "two hockey players fucking each other while the heroine calls the shots"
this author is positing that human queer erotica/romance are freakier than monster erotica/romance. like. she said that. with her whole chest. black on white.
on one hand a monster, an inhuman being, and on the other, a queer person, a human being. and apparently the real freak is not the minotaur or the blue alien. it is the queer human.
is this satire? it has to be, right?
because if it's not satire, this article is an entire case study in itself on the monstering* of queer people. stunning.
*academic term
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cozage · 1 year ago
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It's me again, feel free to ignore this if you're only taking 1 request per person
Congrats on 2k followers ♡
I would like to request, option 1, the reader asking "can I give you a kiss? If you don't like it, you can can return it" with Zoro, Sanji and Luffy (if you can also with Law, Ace and/or Kid)
Thank you in advance, hope you have a lovely day ♡
Nonsense! If you send it in and I like it, I'll write it! This was a fun request too :) I would've done them all if I had the time <3
Characters: gn reader x Zoro, Sanji, Luffy Total word count: 740
Returned Kisses
Zoro
“Zoro!” you sang, skipping across the deck. “I have a question.”
Zoro groaned. Your questions were never as simple as you initially made them out to be. 
“Can I give you a kiss?” you asked, your cheeks turning a cute rose color. “If you don’t like it, I can return it!”
Zoro scowled at you, trying to decipher your strange slew of words. “How do you return a kiss?” he asked. He set down the weights he had been using, trying not to sound too interested. 
“I guess you’ll just have to see!”
His eyes scanned the ship. There was nobody else around. And he had to admit, he was curious how your lips tasted. 
“Make it quick, then.” He sighed, trying to act as if he were apathetic to the whole idea, but his pinkened cheeks did not go overlooked. 
Your lips pressed against his, and he could taste a distinct sugary sweetness Normally he hated sweets, but he found it quite enjoyable upon your lips. 
When you finally pulled away, he quickly wetted his own lips with his tongue, desperate to get another taste. 
“I think I’ll return it,” he said, looking at you. 
“Oh.” Your shoulders slumped in defeat. “Not very good then, was-?”
He pushed his lips back against yours with a sort of desperation and hunger that you weren’t expecting, and your mouth fell open in surprise against his. He quickly pushed his tongue past your lips, hungry  for more of your sweetness. 
When he finally pulled away, he shot you a cocky smirk. “Maybe you should try again later. I might not return it next time.”
Sanji
“Sanji!” You opened the swinging door to the kitchen, searching for him. 
“Do you need something, my love?” he asked. “Whatever you want, I will gladly give you.”
“Great!” you smiled. “I was thinking I could give you something, though.”
“Me?” He looked around the room, trying to figure out what you meant. 
“Yeah! I was thinking I could give you a kiss,” you offered. “If you didn’t like it-Sanji!”
The poor cook had collapsed to the ground, sent into shock by your offer. He seemed to be mumbling and babbling words, but you couldn’t make them out. 
You knelt down next to him, pulling his head into your lap to make sure he was okay. 
“Oh, Y/N love,” he whispered, finally coming back to his senses. “I had this strange dream where you offered to kiss me.”
You laughed. “I did offer to kiss you.”
His eyes were suddenly clear now, and very focused on your lips. So you bent down and pressed them against his own. You could hear his breathing become shallow, but you steeled your nerves and stayed there for a moment before you pulled away. 
“If you don’t like it, you can return it,” you whispered. 
Sanji’s eyes were practically hearts as he stared up at you. “Can I still return it even if I did like it?”
You giggled, crinkling your nose as you laughed. “I suppose so.”
“Good!” He reached up and pulled you back down to him, keeping his lips pressed into yours until Luffy ran into the kitchen looking for more food. 
Luffy
“Luffy! Come here!” you called up to the captain. He was in his seat on the figurehead, like always. 
“You come here!” he yelled back. Rubber arms extended towards you and whipped you up next to him. “What’s up?”
“Can I give you a kiss?” you asked. “You can return it if-”
His lips smashed against yours, and you could feel his mouth stretching into a smile. You couldn’t help but smile too, your head foggy with giddiness at his willingness to say yes. 
He finally pulled away from you, his laugh filling the air around you. “That was nice.”
“I was supposed to give you a kiss, Luffy!” You were trying to scold him, but you couldnt wipe that stupid smile off your face. 
“Do you want to give me one?” he asked, his eyes lighting up. “You can give me another one!”
You leaned back into another kiss, his arms already wrapped around your neck. He was trying not to be too eager, but once your fingers tangled into his raven locks, he abandoned all common sense and worked to devour as much of you as he could get.
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aphroditesmoon · 10 months ago
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wish you'd ask me
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clarisse la rue x fem!demigod!reader
summary: you're not good at reading subtle hints, clarisse realises that maybe she should've been more upfront with her feelings for you.
warnings: fluff, oblivious!reader, clarisse is down bad, reader is very neurodivergent coded, kissing, flirting, title n fic inspired by 'Wish You'd Ask Me' by Matt Maltese.
A/N: thank you for 1.9k followers!! I love you all dearly, my ask box and dms r always open, im glad that my writing is being enjoyed by so many people<3
wc: 4.5k
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You have been in camp half blood for more than 4 years. You have made yourself at home for the last several years. 
It was easy to view yourself as lesser or inadequate in comparison to other mortals during your days in the real world before you were sent to camp. The world has never failed to remind you of how different you were. Always too much or not good enough, always special and never normal
And it wasn't like you were dying for some sort of diagnosis to justify why you are the way you are, but upon discovering that you were actually a demigod, it felt like all the questions you've been harboring to yourself was finally answering themselves. 
Everything clicked. Everything made sense, though at the same time, it felt impossible. You were a very confused little girl when you first arrived at camp. A girl who just wanted someone to tell them that it'll all be alright in the end.
And you still remembered the first person to hold you by your shoulders and made you look into their eyes as they told you that it was all going to be okay.
The girl with beautiful long curls and dark piercing eyes. The girl that everyone else, apparently, was afraid of.
But you could never be afraid of Clarisse La Rue. 
Not with the way she smiles when every time she sees you, the way she never fails to make you feel included even in activities you're not capable of participating in. Not with the way your whole body electrifies every time your skin touches, when your hands brush against each other. 
It didn't matter what anyone think, because no one could change the perception you've built of her. Clarisse La Rue is good. Or at least she is to you.
When you first heard of the rumours surrounding her, you did think better than to force a friendship on her. You strayed away from her and stuck to your cabin siblings and your books, but you noticed daily how she'd still go out of her way to talk to you at least once a day.
It didn't need to be a long conversation, just a passing acknowledgement. An easygoing 'hey, how've you been doing.' Sometimes she'd even go as far as cracking a joke with you.
With how serious her face is whenever she make the jokes, you'd have to think twice as hard and thrice as faster than another person to try and guess if she was being genuine or not so you could fit in a necessary laugh when you needed to.
Even as her anger became more apparent because of the new kid's accidental climb to fame and embarrassing the Ares' cabin, she still found time to make a conversation with you.
It had been long since you tried to ignore or avoid her. You learned that her attention towards you is harmless, and that she seemed much more comfortable telling you certain things compared to others. If she has been viewing you as some sort of safe box, then you don't really mind it. You liked listening to her talk and keeping her heart's intent as your secret.
You too, talking to her. To some people, you are reserved,  
and to others, talkative. Either way, people find it easy to discard you at any moment they decide you are irritating.
But Clarisse listens. And she asks questions, she's patient- much patient that anyone could anticipate or guess. 
It may be hard for others to believe, but Clarisse is more complex than she seems. She had the capacity to be gentle, and she had the capacity to respect boundaries. The more time you spent with her, the more that side becomes easy for you to access.
Today, however,  marks a new record for your friendship with her. A few weeks ago, she had informed you of her newfound interest in the history of folklore monsters. What a coincidence that you were currently self-studying on that specific topic.
She insisted that you hook her in on whatever it is you're learning. She had even gotten you a doughnut to eat together outside the library as you told her of your insights of dragons and their theorized blindness and incapability to differentiate a variety of prey.
The conversation went well, she seemed immensely in awe of your knowledge and had no problem telling you how she felt. 
You even gave her some book recommendations, though you knew she wasn't much of a reader.
You felt a shift in your relationship that night and had spent the next three days studying more and more about the topic. And today, you had asked her to spend the evening with you. 
You shouldn't feel so nervous asking her to hang out. That is what friends do, after all.
She found you in the library, sitting on the floor in between two large bookshelves. She had been right on time and enthusiastically so. The two of you sat together, hidden by the shelves as some semblance of privacy. 
Clarisse looked confused when you had explained that you indeed wanted to spend the rest of the day in the library, but she accompanied you anyways.
You could never get sick of the smell of the books. Old and new, they all have some nostalgic past tied in between the pages, begging to be discovered. 
You had your back on the walls with tinted windows above your head as she's seated opposite of you in a criss-crossed position.
Today, the library isn't as packed as usual. There were still people walking in and out and checking out the books on the counter, but not too many that it became obnoxiously loud and annoying. 
After finishing another book of Monsters and how to spot them, you're feeling knowledgeable enough to explain the lore of the Giants to Clarisse, she had asked you about this the other day, giants have been long extinct to the point that some might even say they may have never even existed. And so you were interested in sharing with her all of the information you have learned about the majestic species of a beast.
You started with the general information. The basic understanding of what a Giant is the mythhs of Giants and the validity of those sources. Clarisse listened closely in the beginning, never interrupting you unless she had an actual question.
She seemed in awe of the stories you tell her of. You don't blame her, for you yourself have been most interested in the topic of Giants.
You were an hour an a half in when noticed her attention faltering. She leaned against the cases of books, her eyes twitched slightly when you began to explain the different types of giants, and the difference of how they operate.
Her hands are folded together on her lap, and you can feel her listening in on everything you're telling her as she adds in some commentary here and there, but you also felt that she wasn't entirely in on the conversation.
The dim lights of the library made the atmosphere feel warm and secluded, even with its vast space and many other campers hanging around in the other tables and shelves. You made sure to keep your voice low as you spoke in fear of the librarian kicking you out. 
You had a good reputation with the library workers, they liked how organized and polite you were. 
"A lot of people think their greatest strength is their size, which is valid, they are huge, but their real weapon is their mouth." You told Clarisse, ignoring the litter of books by your left that you had brought over for reference.
"They kiss you to death?" She asks suspiciously. You laughed shortly and shook your head. "No, I mean their breath."
She responds with an 'ohh.' 
"They're giants, so their mouth is large too, and you can easily tell what they had for breakfast even from their tall height. Their breaths are also known to be so rancid it could kill you, because they don't exactly eat what we eat." 
She raises a brow as she stretches her hands upwards. "Isn't that ogres?" 
"It's both." You confirmed.
You were about to continue your explanation but halted by instinct as you notice how her mouth keeps pursing together as if unsatisfied, and she has that look on her face that mimicked a confused expression. You're don't think there's anything to be confused of.
"Are you okay?" You asked her worriedly. Clarisse sits up straighter at the question and waved a hand off to assure you she's fine. "Of course, no yeah- I'm fine."
"You seem bored, you're not really interested in what I'm saying are you?” She opens her mouth to counter your words but hesitates to say anything. 
"I- well, I like giants-" She attempts, "-no you don't. " 
"No. I don't." She admits with a sigh. "But I thought you said you were interested in these kind of stuff?" You questioned her. "Well, yeah, like the general idea of it. I mean, I don't hate it, and I like hearing you talk about it." She answers with a shrug.
"Then why do you look disappointed? If you didn't want to come, you could've just told me. I wouldn't get mad." You told her honestly. It was conflicting for you to see her so confused on what to say, being so picky with the words she chooses.
You figured she's probably reluctant to hurt your feelings. That is a notion you're used to. You'd rather she tell you the truth to your face than to be catered around like a time ticking bomb that everyone's so afraid might explode at any time. 
"When you asked me out yesterday, you told me this would be an 'evening to remember." She tells you with such confidence like it was an explanation to her weird behaviour today.
"You don't think this is an evening to remember?" You sincerely inquire.
"No, I do! I just- well, when you said that I didn't think you'd mean we'd be doing this." Your frown deepens as you try to figure out what she means, eyeing her body language closely. “What do you mean? I told you I wanted to hang out.” 
A part of you is offended. She was the one who had said she liked hearing you speak, why would she be disappointed that this was your idea of spending time together?
"I don't know, I thought we'd just be doing...something else?"
It didn't matter what she had really meant with that. You felt completely embarrassed once she finished her sentence. Why was it that everyone else had no problem having long conversations with their friends, but when it came to you, it's all too awkward, unnecessary, and odd? 
You liked Clarisse, you considered her your friend. Sometimes you wonder if it could ever be more, but you never entertain those thoughts because you don't want to ruin what the two of you already have. 
But moments like these resemble a huge slap in the face by the universe.
You couldn't even be good friends with her, how ridiculous of you to think that there could ever be something more.
"Okay, um, maybe we should just go back to our cabin." You decided whilst standing up and picking up the stack of books you're currently borrowing from the library, ready to leave the place without waiting for her.
"Hey, wait." She called out as you walked past her. You spared her a glance, trying your best not to show how upset you are.  “We're friends." She says it so much like a question that you weren't sure if she's even sure of the fact herself until she continued speaking. "I like hanging out with you."
Another thing that you weren't sure if she really meant. "Sure." You replied thinking it's the most suitable response. 
Before she could say anything else, you turned around and started picking up your pace until you disappeared out of her sight.
You have been consistently ignoring Clarisse. Which proved to be harder than expected.
When you pass by her camp or the training ground, you make a mental note to always look down or to your front as to never accidentally cross eyes with her.
And everytime you hear her call out your name, you keep walking like you didn't even hear her, knowing that she wouldn't be bold enough to call for you again. After all, she still had a reputation to uphold.
If ignoring her wasn't hard enough, having to deal with how you felt for her is worse.
You've been avoiding confrontation with yourself for weeks even before you decided to go no contact with her.
And so far, you thought you've been handling it pretty well. Except for days where you don't see her where she's expected to be. You tell yourself that you don't care as you make your way to training in the day and reading in the evening, and yet you still go back on your own words when you asked a passerby Ares kid on where his cabin leader was.
"She's dunking some kid's head into a toilet bowl." Of course she was.
You thanked the dude and went back on your way to your cabin. It's close to dusk, the sky is turning orange and the sun is dipping itself below the earth. You take your time returning to your cabin as you enjoy the way the sun slowly removes itself from anyone's viewing.
You wondered to yourself if things like these are what makes you weird or off-putting to some people.
Was enjoying nature and having niche interests only cute when it's done by girls pretty enough to be cool or if it's only in romance movies or books.
You don't find yourself weird, in fact you think all of your hobbies are pretty common and usual, and yet the way Clarisse had spoken to you at the library last week had made you feel unnatural.
You had wanted to do normal people things with her, but maybe your perception of normal is different to her.
Either way, you are pretty hurt with how she reacted. You loved her still, of course. It's kind of hard to unlike the girl you've been obsessed with since you were 15.
Once you finally reach your cabin, you quickly put down all of your books and your tiny sling back by the side before making it to the shower to refresh yourself before dinner.
You thought it hilarious of how hard you're trying not to care about Clarisse, and yet as you're cleaning yourself up, changing your clothes and attempting to read at least 15 pages of your World's Most Dangerous Beasts book, you could only think of her.
What would it take for her to think that you're cool, what kind of things did she want to do instead of listening to you yap around for 2 hours on what is an equivalent of a boring dinosaur facts, not that you really think dinosaurs are boring.
During dinner, you kept to siblings and had to make yourself finish your plate as your anxiety wrecking thoughts have a way of deriving you of an appetite. You also had to convince yourself to not search for her at the other tables which took more strength than one would expect.
But you succeeded, and you were now sure that the only obstacle left for the day was to try and fall asleep without the thoughts of her keeping you up.
Clarisse is a force, a fierce daughter of Ares, and a cabin leader who had much better things to do then hole up at quiet small places with you.
And just because she was nice enough to mantain a good relationship with you for 4 years, does not mean that you're worth her time. Or at least that's what you tell yourself.
That night, you managed to fall asleep after an hour of recalling Harpy facts in repetition. Counting sheeps had never worked on you, so you had to find something much more active to tire out your brain.
You dreamed of Clarisse with her hair down, holding your hand and pulling you closer so she could slip a flower on your ear.
And just as she's looking down at you, moving closer to do what it seemed like to kiss you, you awoke with a jolt, swearing under your breath as if you'd just gotten jumpscared by a ghost.
Someone's palms moved to shut your lips as you're met with a girl, hovering over you in the dark. Clarisse's dark eyes were recognizable, but it sent a shot of adrenaline through your body still.
"Shh." She whispered to your face, hand still keeping your mouth shut. "I'm going to remove my hands now." She whispered again. You nod in understanding and waited for her to pry her hand away from your face.
"What are you doing here?!" You exclaimed as quiet as possible as she helped you sit up.
"I'm sneaking you out." She answers with a wink. "It's 2 in the morning." You waved your hand around at the darkness and sleeping children. "3 in the morning, and yeah, I know. That's why it's called sneaking around." She corrects you with a grin so devilish that if you hadn't known her for a long time, you'd assume she's about to turn you into a new toilet bowl or dumpster boxing victim.
You sighed loudly and glared at her despite your fast beating heart. Her hand remained on top of yours until the minute becomes more awkward and she removes it as if she just remembered that she's been holding your hand.
Without explanation,  she climbed out of your bed and tiptoes to the open cabin door. You're still sitting up and looking at her with conflicted feelings.
Only after she turns back to you, cocking her head towards the entrance, do you give into her request and softly leave the comfort of your bed and trail after her.
"Where are we going?" You asked after her as she kept walking. Instead of responding, she asks you another question back, "Can you swim?"
"We're going swimming?" You watch her shrug in return from behind her and became even more distressed.
"So, is this your idea of having fun and hanging out then?" She laughs drily and slowed down so you could catch up. You walked fast enough until you're beside her and waited for her to talk. "You sound surprised, I would've thought that after 4 years of friendship, you'd know by now that I love doing things that includes active movements."
You did know that, it's a bit hard to not notice how much working out, training and running fuels her even more.
"And why are we doing it in the middle of the night?" The walk towards the lake by the back of the forest was short, considering that your cabin is the closest to the location.
You almost tripped and fell over a stick, but Clarisse was quick to scoop you back up by the back of your shirt. "Thanks." You mumbled to her. "And you haven't answered my question."
Clarisse pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the ground without caring of your presence. You, having more moral obligations than her, twisted your face to your left when she began to pull her trousers off. "Too many people in broad daylight." She tells you.
That is a valid reason, this lake is mostly known as a hook up spot, and true to it's cause, many dating campers have been caught together here during dawn or late evenings.
You braved yourself to turn towards her again slowly and realised that she had already hopped into the water. She had a sports bra on and a boxer.
And though you yourself had a tank top and shorts on, you contemplate the idea of suicide as a better choice than having to strip in front of her.
"Are you gonna get in, or are you just gonna gawk at me from there?" You were grateful for the dark being able to hide your flushed face from her, but deep down, you knew that she probably saw it anyways because of the shining bright moonlight.
"I can't swim." You told her.
"That's fine, the water's not very deep." You ransacked your brain for reasons to decline her offer, but at the same time, a small part of you yearned to take this risk that you've been so afraid of for gods knows whatever reason.
Clarisse is there, in the water and under the moonlight. You are only a few steps away from her. And like she said, the water isn't deep, only waist length. She stares back at you with a raised brow like she's challenging you to join her.
"Turn around first." You tell her. She smirked slightly before slowly spinning to the opposite direction. "You know I've seen you naked before right?"
"What?" You choked out, aghast. "Who do you think changed your clothes for you when you first got to camp." Oh, that.
Your shoulder relaxes as you realize she's talking about the first time you met. "That's was a long time ago." You noted. She hummed im agreement. "Yeah, we've both grown since."
You told her she could turn around once you're inside the water. Forgetting about the heighy difference between you two, the water was high enough to reach your chest, trying your best not to trip underwater the way you always do on dry ground, your hand instinctively reached outnfor her shoulder.
Clarisse held your forearm tightly and drew your closer to her until you're inches away from eachother.
You breathed in sharply and felt the need to fill in the awkward silence. "So, you...like swimming, huh?"
"Yes, evidently so." She answered. "Right right, can't sit still and all that." She actually chuckled at your sarcasm, making you proud of yourself.
"You know, even before I came to camp Half Blood, I use to be a pretty active person, running track, volleyball, sometimes swimming." Your eyes widened in curiosity. "Really?" She nodded.
"The counselor told my mom that I just had so many untapped energy, which I guess is a code for anger issues." Her grip on your forearm moves higher until her palm is over your shoulder.  "She told her that it'd be best for me to find a...healthy way, to channel that energy, and for my strong competitiveness. So I joined what I could, and that's how I spent most of my free time there. Besides, I never was that good academically. So, I ought to at least be good at something, right?"
"You are good." You blurted out. Your embarrassment faded away when you saw her smile. "You think so?"
"Yeah." You assured her. Her other hand had snaked around your waist without you noticing. Only when you moved slightly do you notice her holding you softly.
"The moon is really nice tonight, isn't it?" You said, trying to diffuse the tension. You pointed your finger up to the sky at the singular white orb.
She glanced up and let out a 'huh.'
"I like it when it's bright and whole like this, the moon in all of its glory. You don't even notice the starts around it when it's glowing like that." You could stare at the moom forever, even longer than the way you've been staring at the sun.
You believed in it the way children do with their birthday candle. To you, the moon has always been a symbol of hope or comfort for your future. Your fascination for it existed from when you were a child, the way it'd follow you from behind as you gazed upon it from the back of the car seat whilst your parent drove down the road.
The way it moved above you as you walked home from school, like one of the gods themselves watching over you.
"Nothing compares to the moon." You announced aloud, watching as the clouds around it began to gather over it. "Yeah, It's beautiful." You hear Clarisse speak.
As your head snapped back to her, you found that she had already been facing you.
"I like the moon...but not as much as I like you." She whispered loud enough for your ears only. Her face leans closer to yours, your noses brushing together. "Not as much as I like to hear your voice, when you tell me about your little harpy facts-"
"Oh, I haven't told you about the harpies yet." You cut her off. "I just finished that chapter this morning actually and-"
"-and, you can tell me about it after I'm done talking." You blushed and became silent, letting her speak.
Clarisse exhaled breathily, fanning your face with the subtle warm air. "I like doing things that friends do with you, but I don't want to be your friend anymore."
"Oh."
"I want to be more than friends." She elaborated.
"Oh." Oh.
You feel a sudden tightness in your chest, from anxiety or from butterflies is undecided. "You want to be best friends?" You joked, laughing nervously.
Clarisse snorted at your joke, but she was still grinning widely. "Best friends, If that's what you want to call it."
There was a moment of understanding shared between a second of shared gazes before her lips attached themselves to yours. An urgency, approval, meaning that can't be described by words.
Whatever gentleness there was inside of her before had vanished. Clarisse kissed you like a starved woman. Her lips craved yours like it'd be the last time she'll ever know how you taste like.
Your hands clasped on her shoulder and neck for support as she embraced you tighter to her body. You let her tongue slip into your mouth, meeting your own.
And as they danced together, inhaling all there is in your lips, every secret and every confession that have died on the tip ofnyour tongues, you are sure that no heaven nor hell could tear you open to see you back together like this.
You push her back abruptly, letting fresh air fill your empty lungs. "What's wrong?" Clarisse inquired worriedly.
"Last week." You sighed out, chest still heaving as your thoughts clicked together. "You thought I had asked you on a date, that's why you were disappointed."
She winced at the reminder, and for the first time in your life, you had been lucky enough to witness a flustered Clarisse.
"I'm right." Her silence confirmed. "Oh Clarisse, why didn't you just ask me?"
Huffing loudly, she rolls her eyes in irritation. "I thought I was obvious enough. "
Thinking back on it all, it did seem pretty obvious, but gods were you oblivious. The way you intepreted it all so wrongly.
"I've liked you for so long too." You admitted to her. Her scowl was gone at that, replaced by a teasing smile. "And what are you gonna do about it?" Her mouth returned to yours, letting go of all your fears and holding on to Clarisse like she's your anchor, you close the gap between your lips, welcoming the kind of pleasure that you've never tasted before.
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enwoso · 2 months ago
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PINK SKIES — alessia russo
this has been in the works for a few months, just didn’t know when or if i wanted to post it as it involved quite a sensitive topic, and a topic which should be addressed in a very mature way.
this is also a topic which i hold very dear to my heart and is quite personal to me, especially since i lost someone very special to me in a similar way but i just wanted to share this as a way to raise awareness especially with september being dedicated to suicide prevention month but just you know you are appreciated, you are worth it and that there are people out there who can help and support you. please, you are not alone.🤍
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WARNING: mentions of death, allusions of sui**de and just upsetting themes! please do not read if any of these topics are sensitive to you.
"thought i'd find you here" lotte cooed as she stood with a sad smile, a few metres away from alessia whom was sat on the kerbside, only the streetlight to keep her company as the sky merged into a darker, gloomier colour.
alessia turned to look at the girl she'd known her entire life, before turning back to look at what was in her hands. a crumpled piece of paper with neat hand writing on it. a piece of paper which had not left her hands all day.
alessia didn't say anything instead her fingers just toyed with the piece of paper, tears falling down her cheeks. lotte made her way cautiously towards the blonde slotting down on the kerbside next to her, placing an arm around her. alessia’s head immediately landing on the girls shoulder.
it had been a long day. goodbyes are hard. especially last goodbyes, they sting the most and leave this feeling in your heart that never seems to go away.
"it's okay, less. she had a beautiful send off" lotte whispered as she let the blonde cry in her arms knowing that this had been building all day.
"i miss her lotte..." alessia choked out sniffles escaping her as tears streamed down her face and onto the piece of paper as she felt lotte nod pulling alessia closer to her.
"i know less and that's normal- but she wouldn't want you to be sat on the kerb crying" lotte sympathised as alessia nodded lightly. she knew you wouldn't want her to be sat on the kerb, heck she knew you would have wanted a big send off like the one that had been done for you.
but grief doesn't work in the way alessia imagined. its not a straight line, there's no formula to it. it's a mess.
some days the blonde feels as though your still beside her, joking about her tripping over thin air. but other days it hits alessia and she feels all those raw emotions all at once, again.
"i- i just wish she was here- she had so much still to live for.." alessia choked out once again, her words forming into one it barely being able to be understood but lotte did. she knew what alessia meant.
you and alessia hadn't known each other very long. you of course knew of each other but that was it. just shadows in the background of the others life.
it was an england camp which brought you together, one simple conversation and it changed alessia's life forever.
a silly conversation about different types of cookies and how your favourite was jammy dodgers as you would eat around the rim and then eat the jam center — alessia thought it was the funniest thing and was always in stitches watching you eat them that way.
but she was the type of person you just clicked with. no effort was needed. the type of friend you make and then don't remember how the first interaction went.
you just went from one day being total strangers to the next being the best of friends.
“and now you have to live for her, remember the good less.” lotte tried as alessia shook her head the peice of paper still clutching to her hand.
“no lotte, i just feel like i failed her. she was my best friend how could i have let this happen, i could have helped her, done something and maybe this wouldn’t have happened,, i could-“ alessia rambled out as lotte just the let the blonde do it her cheeks tears stained as her mascara had smudged under her eyes, the blonde moving her head from resting on lotte’s shoulder.
both lotte and alessia knew there was nothing that could have been done to help you. nobody could have even noticed that you were struggled never mind how bad your mental state was.
you had been estatic finding out that alessia was moving to london and more specifically to arsenal. it meant no more countdowns to when you’d next see each other, it meant you didn’t need to sit on a train for three hours again. it meant you could see each other any time you wanted.
alessia would forever remember the excitement in your voice when she picked up her phone.
"your actually coming to london!"
"yeah i am! we are gonna be in london together!”
"i can't wait to spend every day with you less"
"me neither y/n, me neither."
or how the two of you spent the next two hours on call with each other as you listed all the places you were going to show her, the local cafe where you went for your morning coffee before training, the park where you walked your mum’s dog — rocco every day, the restaurant you always went with your sister when she came to visit.
alessia eventually making the move to arsenal after a bittersweet summer in australia not being able to come away with the world cup win but neverless having an unforgettable summer spent by your best friends side.
both you and alessia's focus moving towards the start of the new season, while also fitting in all the places you wanted to show alessia in the weekends which you had off which came few and thin.
everything in alessia's eyes was perfect, she was living in london with her best friend, she was closer to her family and she was getting to play football with her best friends day in and out.
but for you it couldn't have been further from that.
after the world cup getting back into the next season was tough for you, going from match to match without a break was hard. some weeks you were playing ninety minutes, twice a week. you were getting pushed to your limits.
you mental health had begun to take a toll, social media trolls were getting to you, one miss kick in a match and you had a huge target on your back and were the victim of online abuse. you weren't the perfect angel who was seen as a hero if you scored a goal and could do no wrong in the team.
if you scored the response was why are you not doing it every game?
if you defended well the obvious response was that's the bare minimum, that's your job as a defender.
if the team conceded it was your fault.
if you got into the england squad the response was you had taken away from someone else who actually deserved it.
in the eyes of the public you could do no right.
but no one could see you were mentally and physically struggling, your teammates thought you had just learned to not care what the public said about you on social media or thought you hadn't seen it but in reality you had probably seen it long before they did.
in videos and in real life you never didn't have a smile on your face and one thing you never stopped doing was sitting with alessia and laughing about nothing.
but at home when you were alone, your mind ate away at you. letting yourself truly believe that what people were saying online was the person you were.
“i’m so stupid though i should have noticed the signs, how she wasn’t herself” alessia carried on her rant to lotte as lotte listened. that’s what alessia needed right now, is to let it all out as alessia continued.
“less, there was nothing you could do” lotte cooed, another sniffle coming from alessia as she kicked the stones underneath her feet.
a silence filled the gap, not an awkward one but the silence could definitely be felt. the slight wind that followed as the street grew darker, behind the building where the reception was happening with all your family and friends were.
“what’s that?” lotte questioned, pointing towards the piece of paper that she’d noticed alessia carrying all day. it never leaving the blondes hand during the entire service and reception afterwards.
alessia looked down at it, a sad smile on her face as she did. “a letter..” alessia paused, “y/n wrote before she um, you know.. died.”
a change in look come from lotte as her facial expression changed, it sunk a little deeper. lotte didn’t pry though she knew that whatever had been written in that letter was personal, it wasn’t her business to know. if alessia wanted her to know alessia would tell her off her own back.
“i found it in her room when i was going through her things in her apartment-“ alessia spoke, pausing to take a deep breath, her mind building the picture of her walking through your apartment for the last time. how strange it felt. how empty it felt.
alessia continued, “it was weird lotte, it was like she had never been there- the walls, the drawers.. they were bare, like she never even been there before.”
lotte nodded lightly as another small silence came over the two, a little flicker of the street light before the silence was broken.
“it’s funny really because i wish i could just sit and listen to her ramble on about nothing but we would still loose track of time” a small sad smile appeared on the blonde face as she recounted the memory, lotte sitting listening with a similar look as alessia carried on.
“-or the fact she would never let us get coffee from anywhere else but her local cafe where she’d get the same coffee each time — but she’d never have to ask cause the person behind the counter would always have it ready for her. i think that’s why she like to go there..” a little giggled came from alessia as she thought about the many times she tried to get you to go to a different coffee place but you’d point blank refuse.
“less i know it’s gonna be hard but y/n will always be cheering for you not only up there-“ lotte pointed to the dark star which was now filled with tiny white stars, “but in here too” lotte pointed to alessia’s heart as a small nod came from her, she knew lotte was right.
“and overall she’d want you to carry on playing and winning trophy after trophy. so even if you don’t think you can do it for yourself.. do it for y/n.” lotte told the blonde as another shaky breath came from alessia, tears threatening to fall once again.
“i wish i could play football with her again.” alessia shakily said as lotte pulled the blonde into a tight hug, running her hand up and down the blondes back as she comforted her.
“i wish tomorrow came”
you just about made it to the new year, which you spent with alessia and her family as she had insisted that you were not seeing the new year in alone, she wasn't going to allow that to happen.
that was probably the last time you actually truly smiled. just being surrounded by happiness and not having negativity seeping through your veins.
the loss against west ham, the online abuse pretty much tripled. you being blamed for a short pass which resulted in a second goal for west ham and the fans had deemed that you had then and there lost arsenal the chance of winning the league.
after that weekend you found yourself spending a lot more time alone which was not a good thing. your thoughts were spiralling, you began to question why were you actually here?
any team bonding sessions you then began not to turn up, each one declined with a different excuse.
any time alessia asked you to hang out it was always the same, 'feeling tired today less, maybe tomorrow yeah?"
alessia began to notice your change in behaviour but at first did put it down to you just being tired, your limits being pushed to the max. she knew that, heck she wasn't blind anyone could see it.
it wasn't until the first england camp of the new year when you pulled out because of injury did she begin to realise you weren't just tired or injured for that matter.
she called you and you had told her nothing but lies, that you had tweaked you knee in the last game however that was the first game in months that you didn't play a full ninety. so the blondes suspicions raised, and the blonde promised she would come and see you straight after the game at wembley tomorrow.
however tomorrow for you, never came.
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pennyluna · 5 months ago
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PERFECT FIT - ONE SHOT - JUNGKOOK
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Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Female) 🔞🔞
Genre: Friends with benefits, Coworkers. Idol. Tour manager.
Plot: College friends turned Coworkers turned friends with benefits. (turned couple implied)
Word count: 2.762
A/N: Hope you guys enjoy this one. It's a bit longer than what I usually write but I hope that is okay.
"Go.. Get out" I say while giggling and fake pushing my lover away.
Jungkook and I have been sleeping together for a while, He is the lead singer in a band and I am said band's Tour manager. I know, I know... it seems unethical but keep in mind that we have been friends and a little more than that since college but then due to career choices we went our separate ways, we kept in touch a bit and didn't really reunite until later on when he was already famous and I had become an events manager in the Entertainment industry. We started hooking up again around a month before I got this job, once we started working together we tried to take a break for the sake of being professional but somehow ended up in bed together. Again and again and again.
"You have to go out there for rehearsal before they come looking for you again" I insist, which isn't really working since he is tracing his nose against my neck slowly.
"Ugh, I don't want to go" his hands starts to tease the small of my back, playing with the hem of my t-shirt. "I would rather stay here and go for round two instead"
A voice asking if anyone has eyes on Jungkook comes through the walkie talkie on my hand, so I push him away "As tempting as that sounds, we gotta go. NOW."
After fixing ourselves I spoke into the walkie talkie announcing that I would be walking him to rehearsals. No one found it weird that we spent a lot of time together since we had known each other for a long time.
During rehearsals I liked to sit in the front rows working on my computer, this show in London is very important so I like to double check everything more accurately than usual. There would be a couple of musical guest joining him on stage so I wanted to make sure the schedule was perfect before going to get some rest and then getting ready for the show.
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Before the show I head into the backstage room where Jungkook is getting ready, I need to check that he has everything he needs and that everyone is on time.
"Finally.. you are here." he says exhaling heavily.
"Yuup.  what's happening?"
"Nothing, I'm a little more nervous than usual so I need one of your pep talks" He says loudly, looking discreetly around the room and smirking at me. I narrow my eyes in confusion, he never needs pep talks.
"OH, Yeah of course." I say as normally as possible before clearing my throat and walking to the door to hold it open "Okay everyone, we are going to need a moment. You are doing a wonderful job, please go and enjoy some refreshments in the back stage area"
I watch as the last person exits and by the time the door fully closes, Jungkook is already crashing against my body, pressing me against the door and kissing me hard.
"Pep talk, huh?" I say breathless before continuing with the kiss. I know what he needs, he needs to take the edge off and he needs my body for that.
Mindful of his already done hair, we start to take our clothes off and fall onto the sofa. I'm on top of him straddling him and grinding on him before he grabs his cock and rubs it against my entrance -God that feels good- I moan into his kiss and then gasp when he pushes himself inside of me. The neediness he is showing with his kiss and his grip on my hips is telling me this won't last long..
My previous thought is confirmed once he turns us so that I am now under him, his face buried on my neck and I can smell his cologne, incredibly sexy mixed with his personal scent. I could pass out from how good I'm feeling right now. His deep and slow strokes inside of me are killing me and giving me life all at once and I want to scream when I reach my orgasm but I know I need to keep it low since anyone could hear us if they got too close to the door.
I hear him grunt and suddenly feel my body pulled from the couch and bent over the table, I know he needs me to take him fully now. He slides into me and moves my hair from my back, that's the last gentle touch I will feel before our final orgasm of the session. His pace starts increasing rapidly, his hands holding my hips in place while he rams himself in me, with hard and precise moves. I can feel my orgasm building and I know he is getting close too because of the small shake of his hands on my hips. A couple more strokes and he empties himself inside of me with a grunt. His breathing heavy when he bents to kiss my back gently.
We clean ourselves and get ready before heading out. He stops by the door and looks at me "Hey I want us to talk about something after the concert tonight." he turns around and heads straight to the stage. He looks fucking good.
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The concert went amazing, He just sang his last song and is now heading back stage to change into normal clothes and prepare to go back to the hotel. I would typically meet him there but this time I have a lot of post concert work to do before we travel to the next country.
I finish earlier than expected so I came back to the hotel, showered and decide to go and insert myself on Jungkook's post concert ritual. Long hot bath, nice food and movie.
While walking to his room, I get a funny feeling but I ignore it, blaming it on how tired I am. I pull out my spare key card to his room and let myself in. Closing the door quietly to avoid alerting him and spoil the surprise visit but when I turn around I am the one that is surprised because standing there holding a bottle of champagne and two glasses, is a completely naked, gorgeous blonde girl and my hearts drops to the floor, right next to the pile of clothes pooling around the girl's feet.
Before the blonde can speak I turn around to leave the room but suddenly the bathroom door opens.
"What is going on?" Jungkook says, his voice laced with confusion. He scans the naked girl and then looks at me. "(Y/N)?"
I open my mouth to speak but I close it immediately when the blonde moves towards him. Instead I shut my eyes for a second and breath out. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company... we can discuss the concert tomorrow. Please enjoy your night." I try to offer a nice smile but I'm sure it didn't look sincere at all and maybe my glossy eyes gave it away too.
"(Y/N) wait! I'm so confused, what- I thought we- Please wait-" He starts following me while I'm heading out of the room so I turn around and push a hand to his chest stopping him.
"Stop right there, the last thing we need is someone taking pictures of you" I point towards his naked body that is only covered by a towel "Following me out of your room. So save us a scandal and get back in your room."
My tone left no space for negotiation and I know he realized I was no longer in a friendly mood. This was work.
"Is that what you want (Y/N)?" I nod in response to his question and he pushes the door closed.
I head back to my room and crawl into bed, not even taking my clothes off. the next thing I hear is the alarm going off and telling me it was next day and I hadn't managed to sleep much. What I saw last night, had actually happened.
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The next few dates of the tour went by in a blur, I had gone into full business mode and completely froze out any feelings I might have had for Jungkook. He had texted me multiple times but I ignored anything that wasn't work related. He was now just work, I had to force myself to believe that and to remind myself of that every time he walked by looking hot as hell. Or well, pretty much any time he did anything. So freaking annoying.
Everyone had noticed our slight distance from each other but we covered it with being busy and keeping our meetings short. Pretty much like the one we are in right now, discussing any details that need to be fixed or changed before the next concert. He is sitting right in front of me and for the first time since meeting him, I feel uncomfortably exposed while he stares at me, so I don't look up from my computer while everyone else is leaving the Hotel conference room.
"Hey can we talk?" I think I can sense something very close to worry in his tone.
"Are you concerned with any of the changes made to the schedule?" I say with my most professional tone, still not looking up from my computer.
"No, its not about that. I just think you should know that the other night-"
"It's none of my business." I stop his sentence "Whatever you do on your free time, does not concern me."
He starts to walk away and I can feel him stopping and looking at me.
"I'm confused. why are you mad at me?" His question sound charged with accusations.
"I'm not-" 
"Stop the bullshit." he stops me with an angry tone.
I stand up and walk towards him. "No, you stop. You don't need to explain anything because I get it.  That is how you relax. That is what you needed and I was busy." The anger and frustration I'm feeling is now evident in my voice.
"And that's how you thought I should do it?"
"Isn't that how you always do it?"  I start to walk away because I am not sure I want to hear his answer.
"No." He yells in frustration "Not since you."
I bend to grab my laptop and pack my bag so I can get out of here and go to the lunch room we reserved for everyone in the team. "Stop. Don't say things like that. I have to go." I'm almost pleading.
"There you go again."  he laughs but the sound lacks sincerity. "You are shutting me out, same way you did in college. You couldn't admit your feelings and accept mine so you shut me out and start dating that sorry excuse of a man who didn't even get you like I do." he sounds frustrated and when I turn to look at his face he looks it too. "The only difference is that this time you are arranging hookups for me."
I'm in slight shock from his mini rant, is he jealous? and his glare is captivating but his last words make no sense.
"Wait.. what are you talking about?" 
"We could work (Y/N)! That's what I wanted to talk to you about that night." he takes a step towards me.
"No, wait.. what? what do you mean I'm arranging hookups for you?"
"Isn't that why you brought Becca to my room?" He glares at me
what is he talking about. Why would he think I would do something like that. Is that what he thinks I did? wait.. does that mean he didn't call her? he seemed as surprised as me seeing her there. OMG.
He seems to notice the confusion in my face and starts to draw his own conclusions.
"Oh my God. Come with me..." He doesn't wait for me to agree and just grabs my hand and walks me to the lunch room stopping in front of a table where one his personal managers is working on his laptop. "Did you bring that girl into my room a couple of weeks ago?"
"Becca? Yeah, she called and I know you usually see her when we are in London so I just brought her in. Thought you might need some distraction." I'm surprised at how calmly and naturally he is talking about this. "Was everything okay? did you not have fun?"
"Don't bring or send any other girls into my room ever again." Jungkook's words were a command that made his manager look up and then look to where Jungkook's hand and mine were still attached. "Got it?"
"Yes of course." The manager's voice was pure confusion. He started to say something else but we walked away without hearing him.
Once outside in the corridor we stop walking and face each other. 
"Nothing happened with her." I know he is telling the truth. "I wanted you. I always want you."
"I believe you, Kook." I really do. I pull my hand from his "But we can't do this. You have been dating super models and actresses. A listers. Us dating would be a scandal that could ruin your career."
"Fuck that. I want you. My fans are the best, they would support me. The only person that seems to need convincing is you." He grabs my hand and starts walking again, this time to the elevator, then to his floor and then his room where he shuts his door behind us.
"What are we doing here Kook?"
"Let me remind you of how good we are together." He says unbuttoning his shirt then taking it off and walking towards me while I walk backwards until hitting his bed. "Let me show you how good we fit together." He starts kissing my neck holding me in place with a hand around my neck and the other one is undoing my zipper and then pulling down my dress and happily noticing I haven't been wearing a bra. 
His lips crash against mine passionately while his hands travel to my butt, he stops the kiss and kneels in front of me. Fuck. He is the most perfect man I have ever seen.
Looking up at me he starts to plant small kisses on my thighs and playing with the hem of my underwear. He moves to my core and kisses it through the lace before pulling down my underwear and going rough on my clit then moving his tongue around my folds. My knees weaken, this guy has many talents and this is gloriously one of the things he is best at.
My body starts trembling with my building orgasm and when I think he will slow down to torture me a bit like he usually likes to do, he goes rougher, making me come in an intense orgasm that would make me fall to my feet if he wasn't holding me.
Jungkook lets me fall gently into the bed while he stands to take his pants off, I can see his hard member bulging his jeans and when he frees it, my mouth waters with need.  When our eyes meet I can see the heat in Jungkook's eyes and I know mine mirror the same need.
He gets on top of me and I open my legs for him. He rubs the tip of his cock on my folds then kisses me gently while pushing inside me. I missed him and by the sound he made, he missed me too!
"My God. You feel so good." Jungkook says while moving slowly, he looks like he is struggling to control himself, so I lift my hips to meet his showing him how much I need him too and luckily he takes the signal and gives in pumping harder into me.
We are all sweaty and still needy for each other but we are close, my skin is full with goosebumps. My ankles are on his shoulders and his eyes on me are making my skin burn, his pumps are starting to be rougher, I know how close he is and so am I. I stretch my hand towards my butt and grab his balls gently playing with them which earns me a grunt and a warning look from him.  He kisses my ankle then letting my legs fall to his sides and bends to be face to face with me, allowing me to wrap my legs around him. He starts to pump even harder than before making my back curve, a few pumps later we are coming and ending in a mind blowing orgasm. 
He kisses me softly in between pants "Perfect. Fucking. Fit." He gently plops on top of me and says "Let me know if you need any more convincing." I don't. But I will definitely ask for it.
A/N 2: If you guys have any requests please do let me know. I appreciate any support you can give me 💜
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baby-yongbok · 11 months ago
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Ex
Boyfriend!Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader
⇝ Genre: Angst then Smut then angst again. Dirty Drama.
⇝ Summary: We all have that one toxic person that we can’t let go of.
⇝ Warnings: Cheating , Arguing/Yelling, Dry Humping, Crying, Hyunjin is toxic - the manipulative type. (I think that's all, let me know if I missed anything!)
⇝ Word Count: 2.9k
⇝ A/N: I'm sorry in advance. I live for the drama, I'm so so sorry. My depresso has been prompting me to write angst and this is what I came up with today. It might be intense? I don't know honestly. All I know is that writing angst makes me happy lol + reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡ I hope that you enjoy! Please don't hate me 💕
✧ Part II ✧ Masterlist ✧
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It started with him forgetting coffee dates. The small chunks of time that the two of you carved out of your day to spend with each other quickly turned into bottled Starbucks drinks and ignored texts while you made your way to work. He said that it was because of his schedule and Hyunjin would never lie to you. 
Next were your nightly video calls. The two hours that you’d spend talking about your days and making future plans morphed into double and triple texting him until he replies with a lackluster night time send off and a declaration of love that you have no choice but to imagine leaving his lips. You haven’t heard from him in forever but it’s okay, you can fix this. 
You’re an artist, a digital artist for a living but a painter as a hobby. This trait is one of the many things that you and Hyunjin bonded over so when you proposed that the two of you do Paint and Sip dates on Friday nights he was all in. Everything was fine for a couple of weeks, you’d pick the picture and you’d both get to painting while you listen to your shared Spotify playlist. You’d talk and laugh while sipping whatever wine he brought with him, everything was finally feeling normal again but there was one thing that kept bothering you. 
His phone.
 It kept blowing up, vibrating, dinging and lighting up throughout the night. You’ve always understood that Hyunjin is a busy guy and his friends may need to reach him at odd hours of the night but there was something more to what you saw. He would ignore a message or two from Jeongin or even decline Chan’s calls from time to time but whenever his phone lit up with that damned flower icon he’d drop his brush like his life depended on it. 
You figured that as long as he’s here with you everything is fine. You never liked to micro manage and you're not the jealous type so snooping around wasn’t something that you were very into, until he canceled on you. Again. This is the third week that he’s said that something has come up and that he’ll be over at your place late. When you read his text you were already staring at his laptop wondering if it was really necessary to snoop through his cloud and read his texts. Surely he had a reasonable explanation for this right? Hyunjin would never lie to you. Right? You wanted to be right so badly and when you opened the computer, put in his password and clicked on the cloud you found out that you couldn’t be more wrong.
“What are you still doing up?” Hyunjin asked as he tiptoed into your bedroom. You were sitting at your desk with your phone in your hand, staring at your screen.
“How was your night?” You ask as you swipe on your phone, your eyes never leave the screen but Hyunjin doesn’t seem to notice.
“It was fine, got a lot done.” He turns towards your closet door but stops when he processes the mess around him. “Are these my clothes?”
“Yeah, you’re going to pack all of that along with whatever else you have around here and you’re going to leave.” He stares at you with pinched brows and then he takes in his scattered belongings again.
“What?” 
“You’re going to pack your shit.” You stand from your chair, glaring at him with narrow eyes. “And you’re going to go stay with her.”
You can practically hear him choke on his inhale once your words hit his ear. “Who are you talking about?”
“I can always make time for you just give me the date and the place.” You read from the screenshots illuminating your screen as you stalk towards him. “I hate when you ignore me, you know how much your attention means to me.”
“Stop it.” He turns to face you completely, watching you with worried eyes glazed with guilt.
“It doesn’t matter who I’m seeing, you know that you come first.” You project your voice so that it echoes off of every surface, he doesn’t get to avoid this. “Call me, I need to hear my baby.”
“How did you find those, you -” He sighs as you cut him off, practically yelling the next message.
“You left too many hickies to cover this time, I’ll return the favor on Friday.” 
“Enough of that, enough.” His tone tries to match yours but it fails, falling off into a pitiful whisper at the end. “You went through my computer?” 
He looks over at you with a cocktail of disbelief and disgust smeared over his features but you’re more than sure that the look on your face has got him beat. “ You’re fucking your ex.”
“It’s not like that, it's -” You cut him off, taking a wide step towards him.
“It’s not like that? You’re begging her for her time. You’re texting her every minute of every day. You’re fucking her and then coming here and fucking me, Hyunjin.”
“I know, okay I get that you’re mad, I’m sorry I just can’t let her go yet. It’s like there’s a piece of me that only she has possession of and no matter how much I try to ignore it I just can’t.” He runs his hands through his hair, his eyes taking in the way that your gaze cuts into him. 
“It’s been a year. I’ve been with you for an entire year. When did you have time to start this? How long have you been fucking her?” He shakes his head, turning towards the bedroom door to escape the situation in front of him. You follow hot on his trail, repeating your question. “How long?” You ask over and over until he finally snaps, yelling his answer in the middle of the living room.
“A couple of months, I don’t know five or six? Maybe even seven I don’t fucking know.” You scoff as rage floods through your veins and you pick up the nearest object and chuck it at him with all of the force you can muster. He dodges it easily but he doesn’t have as much luck with the remote that follows the path of the last item. “ Yara, stop it.”
The hiss in his voice turns into a loud gasp once he realizes his mistake. “Excuse me?” He called you by her name. His ex's name. 
“Fuck, I- I didn’t mean to call you that, angel, I swear it’s because we’re talking about her. That’s all. You’re not her, you’re so much better I swear. Let’s just - just talk about this okay?”
“There’s nothing to talk about. I want you out of my house, now. I’m done, Hyunjin. I’ve been begging for your attention for months and you’re off giving it to someone who’s using you for sex and attention. I did so much, I’ve done everything, but clearly you love fucking so much that you fucked me over. Are you proud of that shit? Are you happy?” He takes a couple of slow steps over to you as you stand there, chest heaving and heart heavy with the sadness that has allowed your burning anger to be the star of the show until now. Maybe if he shows you that he wants you, maybe if he says that you two can fix this you’ll consider believing him.
We all have that one toxic person that we can’t let go of. He’s not at fault for being bound to her so tightly, even if he broke your heart in the process. 
“Listen, angel, I love you so much. I want to be with you, I really do, no one else has fought for me and my time like you have. I don’t want to lose that, please let’s just talk about this. I’ll do anything for you, I swear.” Your glare softens, call it wishful thinking or maybe you’re blinded by the desperate burn of love in your chest but you believe him. You believe him just enough to let him splay his long fingers over the curve of your hip and pull you closer to him.
“Why do you need me if you have her?” You stare at the middle of his chest, watching it rise and fall.
“Because you love me in a way that she never could and never will.” He leans down, pressing a kiss to your temple as he brings his other hand to your waist. “She doesn’t see me like you do.”
He kisses over the shell of your ear, making his way down your neck. Your body is pressed against his as his hand kneads at the swell of your ass and he runs his tongue over the sensitive skin of your neck. You exhale heavily, bringing your hands up to rest on his biceps. You want to push him away, you want to get to the bottom of this and talk to him, so why are you pulling him closer? Why are you allowing small moans to leave your lips as he hypnotizes you into forgetting what he’s been doing to you.
“Hyunjin, stop it.” Your voice falters on the last word, giving way to the whimper fighting to escape your throat. 
“Push me away.” He whispers into your ear, his soft lips brushing against the shell of it and setting your nerves on fire. “If you mean it then push me away.” 
He stops everything, he doesn’t kiss you or squeeze you, you can hear the soft sound of his breathing and feel the gentle beating of his heart as his chest is pressed against your own. You can’t do this, you shouldn’t do this, your brain is screaming at you. You know better than to fall for this, push him away, now. Do it. 
“Don’t stop.” Your eyes flutter shut when he squeezes your ass again, pressing your hips into his so that the bulge in his pants pokes your belly button as it twitches in anticipation. 
“Say it again.” He plants a whisper of a kiss over your temple. “Say it again, angel, say my name.”
“Don’t stop, Hyunjin, please.” His kisses get sloppier as he gets closer to your lips, he plants a sloppy kiss to the corner of your mouth before catching your lips with his plump ones. You sigh into him, your hands fisting his shirt as your tongue tangles with his. He moans into your mouth, his hands tracing your hips as he takes some steps back, leading you both to the couch. 
“Tell me that you forgive me, baby.” He sits once the frame of the couch hits the back of his legs, dragging you down with him so that you're straddling his hips. His bulge pressed firmly into your dripping heat and you can’t help but to grind against him. Before you can settle into a steady rhythm Hyunjin grips your hips, holding you still against him. “Tell me.”
“I forgive you.” You mumble, the words sound just fine when they roll off of your tongue. They taste sweet as you lick your lips, staring into your lover's eyes defeatedly. You’re too deep into the brain fog, too desperate to feel the love that you’ve been chasing for months. You’d say anything just to feel Hyunjin touch you. You’d do anything to keep him here. 
“I knew you would.” He smiles up at you, starting to guide your hips against him. You throw your head back, your face contorting into a mask of pleasure. Hyunjin's fingers trace your jawline, sending chills down your spine. You close your eyes, allowing him access to any part of you he desires. “You need me too. Just like I need you, don’t you?”
You nod your head, picking up the rhythm of your hips as he starts to roll into you, matching your pace flawlessly. “I do, oh my god, I missed you.” You babble into the hot air as your hands find purchase on his shoulders. You can feel the night scarf covering your hair slip over the crown of your head and fall to the floor, your unruly hair frames your face and Hyunjin can’t help but to moan at the sight. 
“I missed my pretty baby too.” He grunts, eyebrows pinching together as he watches where your clothed cores press into each other. “Oh, fuck, I missed you so much.”
His hands are all over you as you move against him like he’s trying to memorize the pattern of your skin. He’s reintroducing himself with every pulse point that he can reach, lighting every inch of your skin aflame with desire. “Tell me your mine. Tell me you love me, please, please say it.”
“I’m all yours, angel. All fucking yours.” His hips buck up into you as your movements become more sloppy, your climax is dangling right in front of your face. It’s burning in the pit of your stomach, a strangled moan drags from your lips as you get closer to it.
“Again p-please, please, so close ‘s so close Jinnie, again.” Your nails dig into his shoulder, whimpers following your fucked out sentence as your eyes watch Hyunjin. You watch how he bites the tip of his tongue as he gets lost in this bubble of pleasure with you. Your own perfect shield of hot desire. 
“I love you.” He moans, throwing his head back against the couch, his grip on your hip tightens. The strength of his grasp is brushing yet delicious. “I’m yours. I’m all -” 
The melodic sound of Hyunjin’s phone ringing cut him off before he could finish his sentence. His head snaps up as his eyes widen and he stops moving against you. “Get off.”
You whimper, confused eyes staring down at him through your fucked out fog. “Angel, move.” He pushes you to the side much rougher than he intended and you watch him as he stands quickly, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and swiping the green button immediately. 
“Hey.” He clears his throat trying his best to not sound like he was seconds away from coming in his pants. “Yeah I can do that, just give me like twenty minutes, okay?” 
You listen, coming out of your haze just enough to process the situation. That ringtone sounded familiar, it’s the one that he always answers… It's her.
“Hyunjin.” You reach forward, grabbing his wrist but he pulls away, glancing back at you for just a second before turning his attention back to the phone call. 
“Nothing, that’s no one, I’m on my way.” You scoff, watching as he ends the call and starts to frantically fix his clothes. “I have to go something um - something came up.”
“You’re fucking kidding me.” Hyunjin ignores you, making his way over to your bedroom with you following close behind, a mirror image of what happened minutes ago. “You’re going to her? 
“She said that she needs me and I don’t -” 
“You just told me that you were mine. You just said that, Hyunjin.” You grab his wrist, prompting him to turn to you. He stares down at you with furrowed brows and glassy eyes like he’s in a fog, like he’s been hypnotized to follow a specific instruction. 
“And you said that you forgive me.” He reaches up to cup your cheek and your body melts into his touch before you can even fully process it. “I’ll be back tomorrow, angel. I’ll be yours tomorrow.”
His touch is gone just as fast as it came, leaving you with an empty ache in your chest as you watch him grab his bag and jacket. You stay rooted in place, feeling like your heart has been ripped out of your chest. “Hyunjin.” 
There’s a tremble in your voice as you say his name but he doesn’t seem to mind, it’s like he didn’t even hear you. “I love you.” He leans in to kiss your temple but misses completely, planting a half hearted peck against your hair as he rushes towards the door. You watch as he leaves, quiet and stunned. There are a million thoughts going through your head but you still feel unable to process what had just happened. The sound of the front door closing is what draws you out of your thoughts. 
The silence surrounding you allows room for the reality of the situation to echo around you, bouncing off of the walls and drowning you in this painfully unfamiliar feeling in your chest. You take a sharp inhale as tears start to prick at the back of your eyes. What was supposed to be a stable step towards your bed leaves sinking against its frame. You find yourself grasping one of Hyunjin’s shirts on the floor beneath you, your eyes trail from that garment to the next frantically. He’s everywhere. You can smell him, the soft cotton of the shirt makes you feel like you can feel the beating of his heart beneath it. Tears blur your vision as you sob into the fabric, clutching onto it like it’s all that you have left of him. Maybe it is. You gasp, a choked sob struggling past your lips as the true weight of the moment finally settles on your shoulders.
We all have that one toxic person that we can’t let go of.
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culturalsillystine · 2 months ago
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This ended up longer than I intended.
Here's a long rant about Zero Day, denial, and finding comfort in your sickness.
.
One of the things that's stuck with us since our first time watching Zero Day is when Cal says something about not being able to cure someone who has nothing wrong with them.
Some people get so deep into their illness that they start to tell themselves, "There is nothing wrong with me." It's self-soothing, in a way. You have nothing to fix if there's nothing wrong, right? And you get sucked further and further into it until it's all you know, so it becomes normal. There's truly nothing wrong with you, because it's your norm, and how could that be wrong?
And then you get worse and worse until something happens. It could be something bad, such as Cal and Andre's case. Something people would usually never consider. But when you're sick, you're sick, and things don't make sense, and it doesn't matter what people would or wouldn't consider. Because you would, and you're normal. There's nothing wrong with you.
That, or you get help. And Andre briefly mentions something, I think it may be before what Cal says? I'm not sure, correct me if I'm wrong. But he mentions something, says that even if they did get caught and got put in counseling or something, they'd get out, and they'd still do it.
And that leads you to wonder, is that true? Is that truly what would happen? Or are they feeling so untouchable and so powerful that they think NOTHING can stop them. Not even professional help.
And we'll never know. That's what I enjoy about Zero Day, there's so much we never know. We just have to trust these two boys who will present you with their truth, not the truth.
We see very little of Cal's family, and what we do see isn't bad. What we see of Andre's is.. conflicting. His family means well, but he's an 18 year old boy who likes guns and doesn't seem to get enough appreciation from his father. It writes itself, really.
We see none of Andre interacting with his peers, we only see Cal during the prom scenes. And the prom scenes are loud and irritating and awkward. He doesn't really try to be social, he takes the next possible chance to go to the only person he really bothers socializing with; Andre.
They're both very sick. Whether it's the same thing, something similar, or something entirely different, who's to say, but they find comfort in each other. They're both rotting away, and it's okay, because it's together. Whether or not it's based in love (platonic or romantic) or a hatred for the world so deep that your vision is blurred by your tears of rage, who knows. You never get to know.
Because the last thing those boys would want is to be vulnerable. Because that means something is wrong. But nothing can be wrong, because you're normal. There's nothing wrong with you.
I hope this makes sense and isn't incoherent.
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love-marimo · 4 months ago
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Hiii Lili <3 could I request one piece character (idk for who you write, so u can choose!) reaction to a reader who is very normal looking girl (doesn't stand out from the crowd to say soo) but in battle/confrontational situation becomes a complete, very violent and dangerous, destruction machine?
The circumstances or if she is friend or foe, you can choose, whatever let's you more inspired. ✨ If you don't like or feel very inspired by the prompt it's okay, I just really liked your writing style ♥️
There is More Than What Meets the Eye (Monster Trio x Fem!Reader)
ー hello!! thanks for the ask. this is actually such a fun idea. i went a little overboard with this one lololololol. and i decided to go with the monster trio ♡ hope u like it :3 if you/anyone wants to read sth about other characters,pls lmk! i currently write for jjk, genshin and of course, one piece ★
ー as always, requests and commissions are open! ♡ (im bored pls give me something to do :'3)
cw: mentions of weapons, violence, and battles
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Luffy
he's not someone who likes to expect things from anything, let alone anyone.
but he gets really amused easily.
(luffy is a big yolo person, and it shows)
he is naturally protective of his crew though, and that includes you.
but at the same time, he trusts that everyone is capable of fighting and surviving on their own, so he doesn't think much of your capabilities. he just knows that you're strong.
you had just recently joined the crew and you're figuring out how you can help.
you help with franky and usopp with the ship's repairs.
then you tend to the plants with robin.
then you help sanji cook lots of meals (because luffy eats like a monster)
and then you asked nami if you can clean the study room for her so she can make maps comfortably.
and after all that, you joined zoro to workout with him.
for a normal person, doing all these things would exhaust one at the end of the day, but in your case, you seem to never run out of energy.
the crew is thankful for your help, but what they didn't realize is that you never run out of stamina to just do things.
until luffy points out how restless you are.
"hey, don't you ever get tired?"
you were about to answer him when you noticed the presence of a few marine ships at your tail.
the crew panicked and prepared to change course.
when they fired cannonballs, you immediately caught each and every one of them and threw them back at the ships, causing a simultaneous explosion.
there was one cannonball that you almost missed, so you were quick to grab it.
imagine luffy's surprise when you crushed it with your bare hand before it exploded.
everyone pretty much had their jaws on the floor.
luffy practically had sparkling eyes asking you how you did it.
"wow, i never knew you could do that!"
"what other things can you break with one hand?"
"here, can you break this huge weight?"
you were confused, but you obliged, breaking the weight in half.
"so cool!!"
since then he would start attacking you out of nowhere, trying to catch you off guard.
well that never happened, so one day he'll mope about it.
"hey, seriously, what's your secret?" he asks, poking your cheek.
"there is no secret." you laugh. "i just like to train my body."
"well, that's boring." he complains.
after a while though, he smiles at you.
"i honestly thought you look weak. but you're strong, so keep it up!" he said, pointing his thumbs up.
you didn't know whether to laugh or feel offended, but you took it as a compliment.
it feels good to feel needed by your friends.
Sanji
sanji thinks you're the most vulnerable person in the crew.
he doesn't mean to be condescending or anything.
but you just seem so… bland.
and it's not that he thinks you're so weak to the point that you can't defend yourself. part of him just assumes that you're average when it comes to strength and the other wants to protect you because you're a girl and you're pretty.
one day though, you're docked at an island to stock up on supplies and you forgot to tell the crew that you're going shopping by yourself.
sanji panics. what if something bad will happen to you?
something did happen to you.
you almost got robbed.
and sanji saw you manhandle the robber in a flash, and the next thing he knew, you were pointing a dagger to the robber's eyes.
it was so close and he can feel you wanting to gouge them out.
sanji hid himself for a moment, observing how you fight against the enemies.
you were practically raging, beating them up even if though they're already helpless.
one would try to beg for your mercy but you're pissed off. so you punched them hard in the face, knocking them unconscious.
sanji quietly had a nosebleed.
you were just so?? hot??
i mean you already are beautiful in his eyes but something about you being this strong turns him on surprised the shit out of him.
after you're done, you turned towards sanji, going back to your normal self.
"sanji! i didn't notice you were there."
"oh, i love it when you're violent and sadistic y/n-swann!"
he'll practically throw himself at you, showering you with compliments and following you around like a dog.
"forgive me for saying this, but i didn't realize you were that strong." he'll say.
"well, now you know!" you smiled at him.
instantly had heart eyes
"you are my beloved strong woman! woof!"
ever since then, he'll be even more batshit crazy about you.
every time you display your strength in front of him and the crew, it will take every bit of his will power not to pass out.
Zoro
this man…
he doesn't look like it, but he's very good at reading people
he got it after years of travelling on his own as a pirate bounty hunter
he may not have a good sense of direction, but what he's good at is sensing the strength of his opponents.
given that he's in a fight with one.
it's something he honed over time, so that he can create his own strategies when in battle.
like luffy, he knows that you're strong, and you work well in a team or on your own.
what he doesn't know (or at least he isn't aware of) is the lengths your strength can reach.
he has a gut feeling that you never went all out in your time as a member of the strawhat crew. (he's right)
so his competitive ass decides to test you through a spar.
you get fired up by the idea, since you've been wanting to train with zoro for a while now.
"ready? i won't go easy."
what a cocky bastard tbh.
you're very focused on him.
you're literally the definition of "lock on" every time you fight.
after you took weapon of your choice, you began to spar.
since you're on the deck of the sunny, you were both careful not to use complicated techniques to avoid destroying the ship. but you both still gave your all, unwilling to show any blind spots to one another.
chopper admired both of you on the sidelines, and the clashing of your weapons were heard by everyone on the ship.
"hey, moss head! what do you think you're doing-" sanji tries to interrupt.
then you landed a blow to make zoro lose his grip on his swords.
you ended up on top of him, and you pointed the back of your weapon on his chest.
he expected this so he wasn't surprised.
he found it amusing even.
"knew you were hiding something." he chuckled, uncharacteristically admitting defeat.
"but i'm not! i guess i got a little ahead of myself. sorry." you say, looking away from him, a little flustered.
"what are you sorry for? your strength? you know that's a pretty useless thing to apologize for." he replied.
since that day, he respected you more, and you would train together.
heck, when you're on an island, you'll find spacious and uninhabited places where you can spar with him to go all out.
it almost always ends in a draw.
zoro would go easy on you on the ship because you both know that it's not ideal to fully use your powers.
so the times where you can both give your all, you both make the most of it.
he teaches you how to use swords, and if you already know how, he'll teach you some of his techniques.
much to your happiness.
"you're pretty good, honestly. you can easily catch your enemies off guard with how you look." he admits to you one time.
"that's kind of offensive. but i'll take it!" you laugh.
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ー Lolita
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pomefioredove · 1 month ago
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anyway I'm only thinking about this because I really like different origin explanations for yuu
(not as a theory, more like a "wouldn't this be cool?" thing)
canon yuu as we know them is our symbolic alice, right? the game is called twisted wonderland, the first dorm they deal with is heartslabyul, and similarly to alice in the disney movie and original book, they're a small, effeminate person lost in a world they don't understand, where they're in constant danger and never taken seriously
but I also really like the idea of villain!yuu
for this concept to work, though, it couldn't be a Disney villain whose already in TWST. no Frollo, no Maleficent, none of that. but it also has to be a villain who's different from the others. Yuu is our main character, after all, and it would be strange to have them be a run-of-the-mill villain, like... say, Captain Hook. it just wouldn't make sense
so they would have to be a villain that's quite different from the others, and they would have to be a villain who isn't well known in Twisted Wonderland. so, no "Righteous Judge" or "Great Seven" equivalent
they would have to have been forgotten. abandoned by history
now, we know that the Great Seven are remembered as heroes, but even minor characters have their folk tales and admirers, so being a niche villain isn't a good enough excuse. this villain would have to have been bad. worse than Frollo, worse than the Evil Queen, worse than Maleficent. someone so terrible that there were no survivors left to write them as a hero. someone so terrible that other mages had to cover them up
(I read a pretty neat theory about there having been an eighth member of the great seven who was eventually written over, which I'll link¹ later since I found it AS I was writing this, and the op and I had the same idea!)
but the theory essentially states that NRC originally had eight dorms, with Ramshackle being the forgotten dorm
in TWST canon, Ramshackle is based on the Mickey Mouse cartoons of the 30s (Lonesome Ghosts in particular) but it wouldn't be unrealistic to say that, if it had been an eighth dorm that was abandoned, especially if it was a very old one, it would have gone through centuries of renovations, just to fall out of use around the Victorian-equivalent era
then there's Yuu
and there are the questions: if they were a twisted villain, why do they have no magic? where did they come from? why are they here? and how do they have their memories, if they're from Twisted Wonderland?
I'll do one at a time:
!. The Question of Memory
canon Yuu is really interesting because they're so... well... Yuu. they're implied to have many talents, perhaps more than a normal person should have at their supposed age, they're strong, smart, and "less innocent than they seem", as Malleus said
but if Yuu was from Twisted Wonderland, then why do they have memories of home?
well... what if they were lying?
bear with me. now, maybe they could remember their past, and are withholding it, or (and this makes more sense to me), they don't remember their past and are pretending they do. why? because they have snippets of memory of who they once were, and they don't want anyone else to see them as that person. for any number of reasons
they could also just be confused and lost and trying to piece together their past, and is hoping that Crowley being able to send them back "home" will restore their full memory
okay, but what if "home" doesn't exist as they remember it?
Yuu is known to have "visions" of the past/future (which I will come back to), and it's likely that the only thing they remember about their "home" is the visions they have of it. the "home" they see is a place that no longer exists. and, as it was once ruled by a villain so evil that the world did everything they could to cover it up, there's no mention of it in history books. that's why Crowley can't find their home on a map or in a book
2. The Question of Magic
Yuu is canonically magicless. or so we're told
the Dark Mirror basically says that they have "nothing" in their soul. they can't cast spells or wield a magic pen
but they also have visions of the past, can connect with other realms, and aren't fucking dead, even after being hurt so many times, which, to me, can be explained by magic
Yuu has magic. they just can't use it
something could be blocking their magic pool, or they could have just forgotten how to use it (via the memory loss), or their magic manifests in other ways
I do really want to talk about Yuu's strength, though. I've had discussions about this before, because Yuu, despite being called small/weak by the other characters, is ridiculously powerful
here's the big thing: they don't die
six overblots, the prologue in the mine, book 6, glomas, playful land, the many in-school fights, the hypothermic conditions at Ramshackle, and Yuu is still healthy and alive
hell, they've probably been poisoned at least once. being friends with Kalim, Vil's overblot, and Lilia's cooking are all strong contenders
and they are. STILL. ALIVE!
maybe their magic isn't casting fireball. maybe it's something deeper. darker. maybe Yuu can't die
because Yuu is already dead.
3. How?
how Yuu even ended up in Twisted Wonderland is (supposedly) a mystery. at least, I don't think it's been explained yet...?
I'm gonna say it's not. for the sake of my essay
they don't know how they got here, and supposedly have no memory of the moments leading up to their arrival. where did they come from? why are they here? and how?
what if, bear with me, Yuu was dead. Yuu was dead, and something brought them back
the "world" they came from, the reason why their memories are so cloudy and vague, was actually the underworld
now Yuu is this undead thing, who was once an incredibly powerful mage, but whose magic is now being entirely used to keep them breathing and walking. so they can't be casting lightning bolt
(it would also be cool if Yuu had overblotted in a past life and that's what killed them but that's not a part of this essay)
being undead would explain how nothing kills them, why they can't properly wield magic (it's more like magic is wielding them, tbh), and why the Dark Mirror thought they had no soul
HOW they were brought back to the mortal world, I can't decide. there's so many good options- Crowley did some very illegal necromancy shit, Grim accidentally triggered something at NRC, or perhaps Yuu in their state of decay, used all their remaining magic to revive themselves, sacrificing their magic pool and their memories in the process. the latter being my favorite. Yuu necromancer
4. ...And Consequence
as we all know, shit gets weird at NRC after Yuu enrolls. I've seen a lot of REALLY fun theories about why this is, here's mine:
Yuu, being the absolute power source that they are, being associated with death and disaster and necromancy, is indirectly causing the blots by leaking so much fucking magic into their environment that it's making the more powerful mages like 10x more likely to overblot
that's it. they just attract death and destruction to them
5. Final Remarks
there are other little things I think would make this make sense. why aren't they afraid of Malleus (or, like anything)? because they're worse. much worse. and even though they can't remember everything, they know that
but the name! Yuu! that's not connected to any villains!
BUT IT IS, because "Yuu" is not their real name. it's supposed to sound like "you" because they made it up on the spot. it's almost as if... names are a source of weakness to powerful mages... and they're withholding theirs because they remember that
Grim could either be some rando Twisted Wonderland thing or he could be the source of their visions. I haven't quite decided yet
Malleus once says that Yuu is "not as innocent as they seem", which would make me wonder if he knows something the others don't. or if Lilia does. or even Silver. Briar Valley is medieval in many ways, and if anyone would keep record of a villain so evil and powerful that the rest of history buried them entirely, it would be Briar Valley
if Yuu did have an overblot, it would be bad. Idia Shroud bad. Malleus Draconia bad. worse, even, if Yuu is an experienced necromancer and can induce (and possibly manipulate) blot
6. The End
let me TLDR this: this Yuu is not "Yuu", but an ancient and powerful mage who necromancied themself back to life and ended up at NRC with a clouded memory of their past life. the ~figure~ they're based on was so horrible and destructive that they were intentionally forgotten, written over by the few survivors of their evil. this figure being so ancient that they are older than Briar Valley, so ancient that Yuu has visions of a "home" that hasn't existed in thousands of years
Yuu has a strong association with death and undeath, a means into seeing the past, present and future, and into connecting with other worlds. their home, their history, their ruler was forgotten, written over because it was so bad it couldn't be associated with anything but death and destruction
basically, what if Yuu wasn't Alice.
what if Yuu was The Horned King?
1 https://www.tumblr.com/valy-gc/746674187452792832?source=share
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autumnywinter · 7 months ago
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can you pretty pls do more yandere elliot?
I hope this is good! I don't know if it's obvious or not, but he's my favorite character to write for.
Yandere!Elliott x Reader
Tags: Stalking, manipulation, mentioned blackmail, gender neutral reader
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From the day you and Elliott met, you had become pretty close. Moving made it pretty hard to befriend anyone, especially due to your schedule, but Elliott seemed always available for you, always nearby and ready for a conversation. You and him had practically became best friends within the first few months of knowing each other. Elliott was a sweet guy, one that you cherished as a good friend.
Over the time you had moved, you had been trying to get back into dating. Elliott was supportive, and was always there to cry on when you were inevitably ghosted or dumped after one date.
This one really hurt, however. You were really into this person you had a date with, just for them to never speak again after the second date.
You turned to the one person you felt like would always be there for you. Elliott. You knocked on the door of his cabin, trying not to cry. It was pouring rain outside, soaking you to the bone. Your clothes clung to your skin, hair soaked and dripped down to your neck uncomfortably.
Elliott opened the door, worry immediately painting his face when he saw you shivering violently in front of him. "Y/n! What happened? Come inside, it's freezing out there!" He ushered you inside quickly, shutting the door behind you both. Elliott helped take off your jacket, hanging it up near the fireplace to dry it quicker.
"I'm sorry for showing up unannounced," you mumbled.
"Don't apologize, it's alright. Here, let me get you some dry clothes," Elliott said. He rushed into the restroom, coming back out with a fluffy purple towel and a white t-shirt and gray sweatpants.
It made you feel a little better imagining him own and wear such casual clothing. He had a huge vocabulary, but "casual" wasn't exactly something you assumed was in his dictionary. Even now, he was dressed in a beige turtleneck and black slacks.
Elliott dried your hair off with the towel gently, making sure to get all of the water out as best as he could. He then handed the clothing to you, turning around politely so you could change without him looking.
You quickly stripped from your wet clothing, putting on Elliott's warm, dry clothing instead. They smelled like ink and pine. Kind of like the trees that grew around your home.
"I'm done. Thanks," you told him.
He turned back around to face you. His cheeks were dusted pink, looking you up and down. Elliott cleared his throat and broke away his stare. "Of course. Do you want something to drink? I recently bought some hot chocolate, but I have tea too."
"Hot chocolate sounds nice," you responded quietly. Elliott smiled and went into the kitchen, returning shortly with two mugs of hot cocoa. He handed you one, sitting down on the couch next to you. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close, to the point where you were basically laying on top of him.
It was normal for cuddling to ensue between the both of you. Elliott was a very touchy person, always holding your hand or hugging you tightly. You never minded, though. Elliott was always soft and warm. It was comforting.
Elliott's hand drifted to your still-damp hair, massaging your scalp. You let out a content sigh, melting into Elliott's hold. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"
Your contentment dissolved into sadness again. "I was ghosted. Again. And I really thought they were into me."
He cooed and put his own mug down on the coffee table in front of you both before taking yours. You followed suit when he opened his arms invitingly.
You crawled into his lap, arms around his neck and head buried into the crook of it. Elliott buried his nose deep into your hair and inhaled. You were too busy crying to notice.
Elliott's arms tightened around you, rubbing soothing circles into your back. "Shh... it's okay. You deserve the world, and if they don't realize that, they were never worth it to begin with."
"I think I'm the problem. It has to be something I'm doing if--what, three people now?--have already ghosted me after one or two dates." You leaned into his warm hands that thumbed away your tears. "Maybe I'm just unlovable."
Elliott stiffened underneath you and his expression hardened. "No. Y/n, look at me," he said. He never sounded so firm before.
You lifted your head up to look at him. Elliott's eyes softened as soon as he looked at your tear-stained face.
"You are not unlovable. If anything, it's their loss. You're wonderful and kind and absolutely gorgeous. If they can't see that, then they're idiots. Okay?" Elliott leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss onto your forehead. "And perhaps, true love isn't as far away as you think it is."
You were too tired to look into his usual flowery words. Instead, you nodded and curled up against him again. Elliott returned to holding you, letting you cry into his shoulder.
He hummed to you. His hand stayed in your hair, another one on your back keeping you pressed against him.
When you woke up, you were tucked comfortably into Elliott's bed. The blankets were heavy on top of you, warm and cozy. Elliott was still holding you, but you could hear his soft snores. You smiled a little to yourself. He must've carried you here. Elliott was a sweetheart, even when you cried into him for hours until you fell asleep from exhaustion.
You laid there for a while longer, trying to fall back asleep. You couldn't, though, so you carefully slipped out of Elliott's grip to find the bathroom.
Despite having been in his cabin many times, you never actually went anywhere but the kitchen and living room. Elliott's cabin was small, but the darkness made it seem a lot larger than it actually was. You didn't want to turn on the lights to wake him, so you fumbled for your phone but couldn't find it.
Trying not to trip over anything, you shuffled around until you were sure you found the doorknob to the restroom. You closed the door behind you and flicked on the light, just to see a closet.
Just as you were going to walk out, you noticed something odd. A photo of you laid on top of a box. You curiously picked it up.
It wasn't a photo of you posing for the camera, or a selfie, or anything of that sort. It was a photo of you from far away, walking through town. The photo was clearly taken without your knowledge.
There were more photos under it. All of you. You were in every single one. Some of you shopping, some of you working, some of you talking to your friends. One of them even had you changing through the window. Your stomach churned when you saw one of you in bed, sleeping peacefully. You could see his shadow looming over you in that one.
It got more disturbing. You saw articles of your clothing that you had lost and never found. A pillowcase that was stained with hopefully your past drool, a used hairbrush, and various other things were inside the box too.
The door suddenly opened and you jumped, dropping everything in your hands. You backed up against the wall, staring at Elliott with wide eyes.
He stared back at you, eyes flickering from you to the box and pictures on the floor. His mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. After a few seconds, he finally spoke. "Y/n, it's not what it looks like."
"Then what is it, Elliott?" you asked shakily. "What the hell is this?"
Elliott ran his fingers through his hair, sighing deeply. He crouched down and started picking up the pictures you dropped. "Please, listen to me. I would never hurt you. I just... I couldn't help myself." He collected all the photos with shaky hands and put them back in the box.
You didn't know why you weren't running. You should be sprinting out the door by now, but something kept you frozen in place. Elliott slowly stood up and took a step towards you. You flinched.
"I love you," he confessed. "So much. I've never felt this way about anyone in my life. I was so depressed before I met you. Everything was dark and meaningless. But then I met you." He stood close enough to cup your face in his hands, thumbs caressing your cheekbones. "You are everything to me. My light, my heart, my reason to live. I can't imagine living without you. I need you like I need air. Every time you're away from me feels like torture."
He leaned in close, forehead pressed against yours. You were still processing everything.
Elliott's breath tickled your lips. "I would do anything for you. Kill for you. Die for you. Anything you want, I'll give it to you. I could treat you so much better than those... people ever could." He spat out the word 'people', resisting to use another word to describe them.
Realization dawned on you. "Did you kill them?!"
"Of course not! I just," he dragged out a long sigh, letting you back away from him, "scared them away. If threatening them didn't work, I got blackmail on them. That was the only way your last date left you alone."
Your knees were weak. "You're sick."
Elliott frowned deeply. "I'm in love." You opened your mouth, but he cut you off. "Who do you go to when you're sad? Me. Who do you talk to about your problems? Me. Who do you call when you need comfort? Me. I'm the one who's always there for you, Y/n. Not them. Maybe you don't realize it, but you need me just as much as I need you."
"We're done talking, Elliott," you said. You tried to push past him to leave, but he grabbed your wrists tightly. You winced. "Let me go."
"I'll die without you. Please, stay," Elliott begged. "I'm sorry if I frightened you. I just got overwhelmed. I promise I'll be better. Just please, don't leave me. I can't handle losing you. I'd never ever hurt you."
Your shoulders sagged, so Elliott let his grip only slightly loosen. "You're scaring me."
Elliott cooed. "Oh, sweetheart. You have nothing to be scared of. I could never hurt you. I just love you so much." He released your wrists completely, only to wrap you up in a tight hug. "I just want what's best for you. And that's me. I can take care of you. You wouldn't have to lift a finger. I'll cook for you, clean for you, I'll do anything for you." Elliott was almost crying into your shoulder. His entire body was shaking.
Your fear and disgust turned into pity. Elliott was clearly sick. He needed help. You wrapped your arms around him hesitantly. Elliott melted into your hold like butter. He held you tighter, if that was possible.
"Elliott, you need help. This isn't normal." You rubbed his back in an awkward attempt to comfort him.
"I don't need help, I just need you." Elliott buried his nose into your neck, inhaling your scent.
You pursed your lips. Elliott was a good friend. He was always there for you. That was the only thing that prevented you from storming out the door or slapping him across the face. Well, that and the fact you were still terrified of him. "Why don't we lay down? It's late."
Elliott pulled away to look at you. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were red from crying. He nodded. "Yes, you must be tired. Let's go lay down." Elliott took your hand and lead you into his bedroom again. You both laid down and Elliott immediately wrapped his arms and legs around you. Your face was almost smothered into his chest, and his scent didn't carry the same comforting smell as it normally did.
"Elliott?"
"Hm?"
"Will you let me leave in the morning?"
Elliott was silent for a moment. You thought he might've fallen asleep until he replied, "We'll talk about it in the morning."
That was code for "probably not".
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cactuscoolerr · 11 months ago
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hello how are you?? hope you're doing amazing<3 by the way,can u request for a part 2 for the lacy fanfic? (idk fanfic?hc?idk) if it's possible?For the characters,can u make one for Sae and idk Kaiser? anyways you can ignore this if you want! no pressure! thankyouu<3 (sorry my english is kinda bad.Not my first language)
⋆。˚. lacy - michael kaiser, itoshi sae
• sfw (mentions of sex in kaiser's but nothing too explicit)
• notes: this is my first time writing for kaiser.. hope this is okay ( • ᴖ • 。)
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. ˚ 。⋆ michael kaiser
it wasn't easy being the girlfriend of the michael kaiser. before he met you, it was known that he'd go off with any girl. he was a player and he had no means of changing that, until he met you.
of course, he didn't change immediately upon meeting you. you and him had your hook up and he went the rest of his week like he normally would. that was until he found out that you, who just so happened to move into town, were a very close friend of one of his teammates.
kaiser had acted nonchalant about the whole situation, pretending that he was just meeting you for the first time, like he wasn't balls deep inside of you just earlier that week. but on the inside, his mind was going rampant with thoughts of you and the night you and him had spent together.
after a while, kaiser finally got ahold of himself and did the unthinkable. he asked you out.
the whole thing went well and in the blink of an eye, you had been the most important part of his life for three years now.
you and him had your ups and downs but for the most part, neither you or him had ever been happier than with each other. though, his history of hooking up with various girls seemed to get to you more often than not. you knew that it was over now and he was loyal to you, but it was a hard thing to forget.
"are you alright, my love..?" michael was pressed up against your side, once again forgetting what personal space was.
a soft hum came from you as well as a small nod. immediately, your boyfriend knew that there was something else that you were hiding. it was a common occurrence and yet he still didn't know exactly what was wrong at moments like this.
"you sure?" he pressed closer into you, making you squirm.
"stop it, micha.." a soft giggle fell passed your lips and kaiser smiled gently at you. "you don't like me anymore then?" his eyes met yours and you immediately looked away with a dramatized sigh. "uh huh.. I absolutely hate you. glad you figured it out"
instead of acting as he usually did and continuing the drama routine, kaiser gently turned your head to face him once more and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "i wish you'd be honest and tell me what was wrong.."
your eyes met the faint scarred mark on his neck from one of his previous hookups rather than his eyes. the sight made you swallow roughly, now finding it hard to make eye contact with him now that you were thinking about your boyfriends past once again. sometimes, you'd even convince yourself that he wasn't serious about the relationship. like you were just a toy to him like those other girls were on the nights he decided he wanted them.
kaiser noticed the way your eyes flickered towards his neck, and it finally clicked.
"my love.." he once again brought your face towards his own, kissing your soft lips this time while his hand gently ran up and down your arm in hopes of soothing you. "they mean nothing to me, okay..?"
waiting for you to nod, kaiser brought you in for another kiss. "you mean everything to me, darling. three years of my life have been filled with you and I could've never been happier with that fact.."
"i love you."
the two of you spoke at the same time, making your eyes meet in surprise, the both of you finding absolute love and admiration in the gaze you held towards each other.
"i love you a lot.." you whispered and wrapped your arms around kaiser's neck to pull him into a deep kiss, trailing your kisses down until they reached that scar on his neck to replace it with a mark of your own.
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. ˚ 。⋆ itoshi sae
"are you gonna come eat?"
you jumped at the sound of your boyfriend talking to you, quickly slamming your phone down on the desk before turning around to smile awkwardly at him. "uh huh.. just give me a second"
sae eyed you suspiciously, sighing and crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorway.
"you're hiding something" he said simply, the usual blank face returning. "what is it?"
with a shake of your head and a slight shrug, sae grew visibly annoyed, stalking over to you and holding out his hand as if he was expecting something from you. "what.." your eyebrows pinched together in confusion. "give me your phone" sae's gaze was stern as well as his intimidating tone.
a sigh fell passed your lips as you hesitated, meeting his eyes once more which made you give in and hand sae your phone. you watched his reactions as he looked at what you were looking at, though you were disappointed with the lack of reaction he gave you. it was hard to tell if he was mad because you were stressing about something he had already assured you about.
"didn't i already tell you not to trouble yourself over dumb shit like this?" his eyebrow was raised as he gazed down at you, not yet handing your phone back to you as he began scrolling.
a soft sniffle sounded from you as you gently wiped the bridge of your nose, gulping the suffocating feeling in your throat. "yeah.. sorry.."
sae sighed softly, placing your phone back down on the desk. he looked at your for a few seconds, noticing how you were beginning to tear up. it wasn't a secret to sae that you were sensitive and he was careful with that fact. he was almost annoyed with himself for being the cause of upsetting you.
"im not mad.." another sigh came from your boyfriend. still, you refused to look at him again, feeling embarrassed that he had to tell you to stop overthinking again.
you knew that his last relationship was apparently a pr thing. sae had been getting articles written about him for his poor attitude and his manager had thought a pretty girlfriend and public outings would fix that. of course, it worked. though, the girl got a lot of hate from fans of sae, saying she was a distraction or she didn't deserve to be with him.
and when sae began dating you nearly a year later, this time because he actually wanted to be dating someone, he kept you hidden from prying eyes.
it was easy for sae to have a private relationship and you enjoyed yours and sae's quiet and intimate relationship together. no one knew that sae was gentle with you, unlike how he was with everyone else. but that was also the issue. it was hard to be a secret when his last relationship was so public and there were so many pictures of them being all over each other, though sae claimed he hated it, said it made him uncomfortable.
"we shouldn't have to have a public relationship for you to believe that i love you," sae spoke, pinching the brim of his nose. "i know you love me.." you looked up at him, sniffling softly. "its just hard when other people are claiming that you don't because you don't want to be public with me.."
with another deep sigh, you were pulled into sae's arms, your cheek pressed into the warmth of sae's chest. "i just want to protect you. is that so hard to believe?"
you gently shook your head no, wiping the few tears that slipped passed your waterline. "its because i love you, you know" a careful hand moved to card through your hair, soothing you even more with your boyfriends rhythmic heartbeat that slightly sped up when you wrapped your arms around his torso.
"love you, too.." you whispered, moving your head to look up at sae, who pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead.
"yeah, i know you do, crybaby.." sae grumbled with a slight roll of his eyes, annoyed that you so easily got him to show you his sweet and gentle side. but it made you feel at ease knowing that side was reserved for you and you only.
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portagas-chan · 7 months ago
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Yours Forever and Ever : Part 2
Yandere Katakuri x Isekai Reader
Things to note: Angst, Manipulative Behavior - where Katakuri gaslights [Y/n] and guilt-trips her.
Part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/portagas-chan/750092733174169600/yours-forever-and-ever-part-3
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Much to her surprise, Katakuri has been very nice to her. His behavior towards her was like a slap to her face when she compared it to the possible worst-case scenarios she had of him. It's not like she was complaining though.
"Are you bored?"
Katakuri's voice snapped her out of her daze. She was sitting on the edge of his bed and was daydreaming. Katakuri sat on what seemed like his working desk, writing something. It probably has something to do with the wedding preparations.
"Kind of?" [Y/n] tilted her head.
Katakuri looked at her before dropping his quill pen and walking towards her. The bed shifted a little when he sat beside her.
"I've been wanting to ask you something," Katakuri started. [Y/n] stared at him silently, waiting for him to continue. "How do you feel about this whole thing?"
"Which one? Being kidnapped and held as a hostage or my friend's wedding with your sister?"
"Everything," Katakuri answered.
"Sure, this whole thing was unexpected but I'm not bothered at all," She shrugged.
"And why is that?"
"Well, when you have someone like Luffy as your captain, crazy things always happen which is normal. Plus, I have faith in Luffy. I know we will always find a way out of difficult situations," Katakuri noticed how her lips curled up into a soft smile, how her eyes looked innocent and overall, a gentle expression she has on her face.
Katakuri was jealous of Luffy. He didn't like how she was so devoted to Luffy. How much she trusted him and her loyalty towards him. What does that damn straw hat has that he doesn't? What should he do to make her act the same towards him? He didn't know but one thing for sure, no matter what, he would never let go of her.
Katakuri hesitated to ask but did it anyway, "Does that mean... you will leave me?"
[Y/n] paused not knowing what to say. Katakuri had been sweet to her. He was kind and she felt grateful towards him but staying here forever? She couldn't see that happening. She didn't mind visiting him occasionally but being stuck in a place forever? Joining a crew as worse as the Big Mom pirates? Yeah, no.
Katakuri was such a sweetheart and a good friend of hers. He'd probably be happy if she accepted his offer to join his crew but that was only him and maybe Brulee too but the others? She'd probably spend the rest of her life being bullied by them whenever Katakuri wasn't around.
"[Y/n]?" Katakuri called her. She looked at him in the eyes and sighed, "Katakuri, you're a very nice person and I'm thankful for that. I honestly don't know what would have happened to me if your siblings were the ones I'd be held hostage by."
Katakuri smiled under his scarf, "It's not a problem at all."
"But I don't think I can abandon my crew for something like that," [Y/n] didn't dare to look at him in the eyes. She knew Katakuri would be upset.
"Am I not important to you?" His voice was cold and there was a hint of sadness behind it.
"You are!" She quickly denied him. "It's just.. you know, I don't know how to explain it but I will come by and visit you often," She tried to reassure him but it didn't help. Katakuri was still gloomy.
[Y/n] was met with silence. Katakuri didn't even look at her. He just stared into space not saying anything which worried her. She placed her hand on his and squeezed it lightly, "Katakuri? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? I wish we met under different circumstances."
"I don't want that," Katakuri mumbled but [Y/n] couldn't make out what he said.
"Come again?"
Katakuri slowly took off his scarf, dropping it on the floor. He finally faced [Y/n] but this time his whole face was exposed, allowing her to see his expression.
When she saw her face, it shocked her. His mouth turned downwards, frowning. His eyebrows knitted together and his eyes reflected desperation, frustration, and sadness. [Y/n] had never seen Katakuri like this. The only time she had seen him with this kind of expression was when he was younger and Brulee got hurt.
"I don't want that, [Y/n]!" He hugged her. "Please don't leave me."
[Y/n] didn't know what to say. Why was Katakuri acting like this? She couldn't think of any other reason but one. He liked her but why? They haven't known each other for long. Was it love at first sight? No, that was absurd and out of character for him.
[Y/n] remembered something and wanted to make sure what she thought was right. She pushed Katakuri away and looked at him.
"Why did you take off your scarf?"
Katakuri was taken aback by her sudden question.
"You never took it off so I assume that it's your biggest insecurity," She continued. "So, why?"
Katakuri sighed, "Because I trusted you. I had a feeling you wouldn't judge me." Well, he wasn't wrong but he literally killed people if they saw him like this even if it was unintentional, and yet here he was, taking it off and showing his weakness to her willingly.
So, she was right. Katakuri liked her but what about her? She didn't know how to feel about this. She knew about Katakuri but never got to know him personally.
"Or am I wrong? Do you hate me now because I look like this?" Katakuri said which made her stare at him in disbelief. "What? No! Are you kidding me?"
Katakuri smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear, "Then, I don't see the problem here."
[Y/n] avoided his eyes and sighed, "No, you are not getting it, Katakuri. I can't just abandon my crew. I have friends out there and I can't leave them like-"
Katakuri cut her off with a groan, "It's always about your crew. What about me? Do you not care about me? Then all those words you said were just words that meant nothing. You're lying to me, [Y/n]."
"No, Katakuri, that's not what I meant," But she was cut off by the knocks from a servant.
"Katakuri-sama? Mama would like to see you," He said before leaving.
"It's okay, you can stop pretending to care. It hurts more if you act like you care. I would prefer if you didn't and just be honest with me," Katakuri said as he got up from the bed and put on his scarf.
He started to walk away but [Y/n] immediately followed him.
"Wait, no! You've got it all wrong!" She grabbed his arm to stop him but Katakuri shook it off. With his strength, [Y/n] fell onto the ground and yelped in pain.
Katakuri looked at her and for a moment, he felt bad for hurting her. It wasn't his intention to hurt her and never will he hurt her. He walked back to her and crouched down.
He took her wrists in his hand and destroyed those cuffs. [Y/n] closed her eyes waiting for the explosion but it never came. She opened her eyes and was met with Katakuri's cold ones.
"It was just a fake to scare you off."
[Y/n] looked at her now free hands and looked back at Katakuri.
"You're free now. You can run back to your crew that you love so much and leave me behind," Katakuri said making her feel a pang of guilt.
[Y/n] didn't move an inch. She stayed in the same position.
"What's stopping you, [Y/n]? I don't matter to you and nothing is holding you back so what's stopping you?" Katakuri repeated before standing up and turning around to leave.
"Katakuri! There's been a misunderstanding. Please, hear me out!" [Y/n] pleaded but Katakuri ignored her pleas slamming the door in her face.
"Katakuri..." [Y/n] whispered sadly.
[Y/n] felt guilty. Had she gone too far with rejecting him? But it was all too sudden for her and she didn't know what to do. She didn't know Katakuri was feeling like that.
She felt like crap. She felt like a horrible person. She didn't want to leave her crew. She had stayed with them for a long time and grew fond of them but she didn't want to leave Katakuri too. Especially, now that she knows he felt hurt and betrayed by her.
[Y/n] didn't know what was the right decision to make.
Should she stay?
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steddieas-shegoes · 9 months ago
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always you
wanted to wish @rozzieroos a very happy birthday! you've been so supportive of me since the beginning and it makes a world of difference to someone who is always just a bit nervous to share the things they write. i am unfortunately not a very crafty bitch, so i can't return the friendship bracelet favor right now, but i hope this is a nice little sappy gift for ya! sending you big hugs and all my love 💕 - mickala
rated t | 1,324 words | no cw | tags: fluff, established relationship, the most miniscule hurt and almost entirely comfort, boys in love, side platonic stobin stuff but robin isn't technically there
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
Steve always had an adrenaline crash after a visit from Robin. The first time it happened, Eddie was convinced they would have to move to Boston just so Steve could get out of the funk. Luckily, they figured out what to do after a couple of days.
And every time it's happened since, they manage to get him out of it pretty quickly.
But this time seemed worse, and Eddie wasn't sure why.
As far as he could tell, everything about the visit was normal. Robin came for a long weekend, they all went to dinner together the first night, Eddie had to work on Saturday so Steve and Robin had their fun together. Sunday, they all went to brunch together before dropping her off at the airport.
And Steve was fine! That evening he was cooking dinner and dancing to music while Eddie wrote some notes for a campaign he was running with work buddies. They ate together and Eddie did the dishes while Steve went through his nightly routine of locking up.
They even gave each other blowjobs in the shower.
But this morning, as soon as Eddie opened his eyes and smelled the bleach, he knew it was bad.
He sat up and looked out the open bedroom door.
"Fuck."
He got up quickly, throwing on the closest pair of pants he could find, probably Steve's since they felt baggier than his own, and made his way down the hall to the bathroom.
Steve was on his knees, scrubbing the shower like it personally offended him.
"Hey sweetheart, everything okay?" He asked hesitantly.
"Fine," Steve answered, clearly very far from fine.
Eddie sighed and sat on the closed toilet lid. "Stevie, it's okay if you wanna have a sad day. I know it's hard when Robin goes back home. I'm off today so we can just relax in bed if you want."
Eddie would never tell Steve that the reason he was off was because as soon as he knew when Robin was going back home, he'd requested the day off to be here for Steve.
"I don't need a sad day. I'm fine."
"Yeah, that's why you've scrubbed the shower until it's literally sparkling at way too early in the morning," Eddie reached out and covered his shoulder. "It's okay to miss her. I know it's hard."
Steve stopped scrubbing.
Eddie prepared for what was likely to be a very ugly and loud sob.
Steve turned to him with his lips quivering and eyes watery.
"Oh, sweetheart," Eddie said as he got on the floor with Steve and pulled him into his lap. "It's gonna be alright. We're gonna visit her next month, remember?"
"I know," Steve said against his shoulder, voice wobbling like he was still holding back tears. "I just don't wanna keep doing this."
"What?"
"I hate being so far from her. We were supposed to live close enough to see each other every weekend and have sleepovers and now she's in Boston with her girlfriend who is amazing, and I'm here with you and you're amazing, but I miss her. And I know she misses me." Eddie could feel tears soaking his shirt. "And it's stupid that we're so codependent still, and I feel bad that you probably feel like you're not enough."
"Sweetheart, I don't ever feel that way. I've never felt that way. Have I made you feel like I feel that way?" Eddie tightened his grip around Steve.
"No, not really," Steve shrugged. "It's just I know we're a lot. And I know it sometimes probably seems like I need her more than I need you, but I don't."
"Sweetheart, I know that." Eddie kissed the top of his head and smiled. "You're a package deal. I knew that the moment you kissed me in the hospital room. I was getting Steve and his platonic soulmate Robin, or I wasn't getting Steve at all. I know how important she is to you. Don't you think she's important to me too?"
"I guess," Steve shrugged again, sniffling against Eddie's shirt.
"Well, how could she not be? She helped make sure you stayed safe before I was there to protect you. She knows exactly what to do when you have nightmares, taught me everything she could so I could be there for you. She sends me tapes she thinks I'll like when she sends you care packages. She was the second person I ever came out to! "
"Wait, I thought I was the second person you came out to."
"You were the third. She was a practice run when I saw her staring at the young nurse who checked my vitals the day I woke up. She's the one who told me I should tell you," Eddie nudged him away for a moment so he could look down at him. "I wouldn't be on this floor with you five years later if not for her. She's kinda important to me."
"I just hate that I get like this!" Steve finally said. "I hate that this happens every time. It's not fair to you."
"Love, it's okay. I know how to help." Eddie kissed his forehead. "Go ahead and wash your hands and go get back in bed. I'm gonna grab a book and we're gonna cuddle for a bit."
"But-"
"And then!" Eddie continued, louder. "We'll get pizza delivered for lunch even though we shouldn't. We'll call Robin. We'll take a bath. I'll wash your hair. I'll make us that roasted chicken stuff you like for dinner. It'll be perfect."
"Okay."
"And then-"
"There's more?" Eddie could hear the smirk in Steve's voice even though he'd buried his face against his neck again.
"Of course there's more." Eddie poked his side. "And then we're gonna start talking about moving closer to Boston so we can visit her more than three times a year."
"Eds, we can't afford Boston."
"I know. But we can afford New England if we find the right spots. We'll have her send us some ads for places for rent. I can transfer within the company. You're a teacher, you can work anywhere."
"You make it sound so easy."
"It is so easy. Making you happy is the easiest thing I'll ever do."
"But you have to be happy too."
"I will be. You wanna know why?"
"Why?"
"Because I'll still have you. And let's be honest, it's way more likely that one of the New England states is gonna let us get married before fucking Illinois."
Steve chuckled. "Married? Who said anything about getting married?"
"Oh, did I forget to mention? I planned on spending the rest of my life with you."
"I know that, goofball." Steve let out another genuine laugh. "I just didn't think you'd ever wanna actually get the law involved if they ever let us."
"Steven, I don't involve the law, the law involves me."
"I don't think that's how it works, babe," Steve kissed his neck before pulling away. "I think all that sounds nice though."
"Then hop to it, Harrington! We've got a bed to get back into."
Once they settled in their bed, Steve curled into Eddie's side while he opened the book they'd been reading for a week now, he looked up at Eddie with a soft smile.
"I love you a lot, you know?"
"I know, angel. I love you a lot more," Eddie replied, leaning down to kiss his lips softly.
They'd spend the day exactly as Eddie said they would.
They'd find a place only two hours from Robin and move less than a month later.
They'd get married as soon as it was legal for them to do it.
They rescued a dog.
They even adopted twins.
And every single time Steve wanted to see Robin, they packed up the car and went to visit her.
Because Steve had Eddie, and Eddie had Steve, but they both had Robin.
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redbullgirly · 10 months ago
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Hellooo 👋, can you write enemies to lovers with fernando alonso maybe with some angst? 🤭
It's totally alright if you don't want to! Thankssss :))
EL DESTINO [FA14 oneshot]
Fernando Alonso x reader
Masterlist
Summary: Y/N works for Alpine, and even though Fernando Alonso isn't part of the team anymore, they can't forget their distaste for each other. The driver seems to think she's just an irresponsible party girl and Y/N doesn't like him because he's, well... annoying and mean and doesn't care about anybody but himself. Though could they be both wrong in their prejudices?
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings: Not much, maybe they're kind of mean to each other and stupid at the start, but that's the point of enemies to lovers, right? XD
Author's Note: Hello Anon and thank you for the request! I didn't expect it to turn out so long, but hey XD. I hope you and everybody else will like it. Also I tried for a little bit of angst, but I'm not sure if I'm good at it... you can let me know :).
If anyone could read your thoughts at the moment, you’d probably end up locked behind bars and with the key from your cell thrown far away. Whoever's great idea was to allow the group of inexperienced interns to touch the important data and statistics deserved to rot seven feet underground. Chopped into small pieces. And doused in poison that eats their lifeless body until there's nothing left.
Okay, that's maybe a bit too violent, but still not far from the truth.
You rubbed your tired eyes, not caring about smudging the mascara anymore. There was basically no one left in the building, just a few mechanics desperately needing the cars to be in perfect condition tomorrow – or should we say today? And then there was you, who stupidly agreed to fix the disaster caused by too much excitement and not enough cautiousness. You knew the interns didn't do it on purpose, and blaming them wasn't going to help you, but still. It wasn't them who had to sit there long after their working hours ended, staring into a too bright computer screen.
When you finally managed to save all the damaged data, it was almost three in the morning, and before you made it back to the hotel, you weren't sure if it was even worth going to bed. Because of the emergency, you didn't have time to finish your usual duties. And even though it wouldn't be fair to want the analysis from you, that wasn't how the game was played in motorsport.
Legs almost giving out under you, you dragged yourself to the elevator. The poor lady sitting at the receptionist desk looked at you skeptically, but didn't say anything as you stepped in and pressed the button with the number of your floor on it. Generic music started playing, numbing your brain even more.
The metal door was about to close, but then a hand came between it. Before you blinked and processed what's happening, a man slipped into the elevator right next to you, pressing his own number.
You see, everything could have been fine. You could've just survived the thirty seconds of embarrassing silence, then mumble a polite goodbye and go to sleep in peace. But no. Fate apparently had other plans for you.
Because as the man turned to you and the bright light hit his face, you realized it wasn't just some stranger.
Suddenly, the silence shifted from the normal elevator weirdness to tension. You pressed your lips together, silently cursing the higher power that decided to mess with your life just today, when you looked like a zombie. With smudged mascara. Perfect.
For someone, maybe it would be a fulfilled dream to be in an elevator with Fernando Alonso. Two time World Champion, great driver, loved person. And a dickhead that almost ruined your whole career.
“You look like you had a wild night,” he murmured with a thick Spanish accent. You narrowed your brows, trying to control the anger bubbling inside of you. Was he trying to insult you? You wouldn't even be surprised.
“Perhaps I did, thank you very much.” Your voice lacked any signs of friendliness, clearly trying to provoke him. It was quite funny, really, how a minute ago you didn't have energy to think clearly, and now you were ready to argue with this man over anything. Almost like the magic of despising someone.
You noticed his jaw tensing and knew it wouldn't be good. But still, his words hurt: “Maybe if you focused more on doing your job instead of wild nights out, Alpine would do better.”
The sting in your chest was strong, but by some miracle the elevator finally stopped, and the robotic voice announced the twenty-sixth floor. Even life itself took pity on you, it seemed.
Without any other word, you turned away from Alonso and walked into the empty hallway, hearing a quiet scoff and then the door sliding closed again behind you, leaving you all alone in the darkness. How poetic.
Every door you passed looked exactly the same, and you just hoped you remembered your room number correctly.
You didn't even remember taking out the card and entering your temporary home for the weekend. You didn't remember taking your clothes off, removing the remaining makeup with a tissue because you were too tired for your usual skin care routine. You didn't remember responsibly setting up your alarm and then falling into the soft mattress.
All you could remember before the exhaustion took over were his words that cut deeper than he thought, and deeper than you'd like to admit.
-----
You couldn't believe it.
As you walked out of the debrief, you could basically feel everybody's frustration crawling up your spine, mixing with your own. The team, all the mechanics and engineers, pit crew members and marketing, hundreds of people worked so hard the whole week. And for what?
It was already bad when both cars didn't finish the last Grand Prix in Silverstone. But for it to happen again? That was downright embarrassing. Not only did it bring exactly zero points in the Constructors' Championship, but the drivers were angry, disappointed. You could see that in the team, the motivation level decreased quickly. And honestly, you couldn't blame them.
Last year, Alpine was the fourth-best car on the grid. Best of the rest, as they'd call it. But this season, everything was going terribly. You honestly weren't far from crying.
To lighten up the mood, some of your colleagues decided to enjoy a night out in Budapest before you'd have to fly to Belgium tomorrow, to prepare for yet another racing weekend. At first, you declined the offer, insisting you needed to catch up on some work, do analysis for the car and figure out exactly what happened to it. But then, one of the mechanics you were friendlier with saw your drooping shoulders, and pulled you into the club despite all your weak protests.
Soon enough, you let loose and after an hour, you were a few drinks in. Your head was spinning, a big smile planted on your lips and giggles coming out of your mouth uncontrollably. Not that you had low alcohol tolerance, but the last time you got properly drunk was some time ago. Perhaps you just forgot how it felt. The freedom, the sweet mist of oblivion clouding your mind.
Currently, you were sitting at the bar, sipping on a cocktail. You already enjoyed your time on the dance floor, which tired you more than expected. Thank God you went to the club right from the paddock, so instead of high heels that'd kill your feet, you had comfortable sneakers on.
As you waved at the young barman to give you another round of whatever he mixed for you before, you felt someone's eyes on your back. You didn't bother to turn around, thinking it was just another drunken man checking out half of the women in the club.
Then, someone stood behind you. “The drink's on me, hermosa,” the man said, voice smooth like honey. You froze. You knew that deep, thick Spanish accent too well. What the hell was Alonso doing here?
He clearly mistook your silence for an impressed one, or so you thought when he came to sit down next to you, his hand gently brushing your back. That was the moment you turned your head towards him, eyes wide, and his face dropped. So did yours.
You hoped for a split second you could pretend you were total strangers randomly meeting in a bar for just a little longer when he instantly frowned and his demeanor changed from charming gentleman to pain in the ass.
“Y/L/N,” he uttered it in a way that made you wonder if there was something wrong with your last name. “Guess I shouldn't be surprised to see you here.”
And here it was — the instant wave of anger and hurt he managed to bring up by just a few poking words.
“Says the right person.” You rolled your eyes, the flowing feeling the alcohol gave you before now gone. You felt like you were going to be sick. “I bet if it wasn't me you tried to hit on, you'd bring the poor woman to your hotel room tonight.”
“Careful, or you might sound jealous.”
“Oh, you wish, Alonso,” you laughed humorlessly. 
The bartender chose that moment to bring you the requested cocktail you already forgot about. You gave him the cash, though you had no intention of actually drinking it. As always, Alonso left a sour taste in your mouth.
“I see you're drinking the team problems away,” he pressed harder, knowing damn well it was a sensitive topic. You gritted your teeth, reminding yourself to be the better person.
Then you looked into his dark eyes, and your self-control was gone. For some reason, you couldn't stand the look he was giving you. It was full of something that was too similar to disappointment. You hated people being disappointed in you, even if you hated that very person.
Out of nowhere, the alcohol kicked in, and you remembered why you didn't drink in clubs too often — it made you emotional. So stupidly sensitive that you couldn't stop your eyes from tearing up. You shook your head, opened your mouth, wanting to tell him something. Anything that'd make him just as much hurt as you were.
Instead, you bit your trembling lip and abruptly stood up. You almost knocked over the bar stool, though at the moment, you didn't really care.
Was it cowardly to run away from him and his harsh words? Yes, you knew that. But you did it in the elevator, and so you could do it again.
In a rush, you got through other people enjoying their night out, oblivious to the lump forming in your throat.  You needed to get out, breathe in the fresh air and just forget about everything.
It was probably nearing midnight, and even though it was late July, you still shivered when you stepped outside the club. Just then you remembered you left your jacket back in the paddock. And you also realized the mechanic and his group of friends drove you here, and you had no idea where you were or how to get to your hotel room.
“Great. Just fucking perfect,” you mumbled to yourself, a few tears running down your cheeks. You wiped them away, willing yourself to calm down. Budapest couldn't be too different from other European cities, so you'd just walk to the nearest public transport station and then see what you could do from there. Yes, that was exactly what you're going to do, and it's going to be okay.
Having a plan calmed you down, at least a little. You walked in a direction you hoped would get you to the center and took your phone out. The battery was low, and you cursed yourself for not charging it during the day.
“Where are you going?” You winced and nearly dropped the phone when you heard the loud voice calling after you.
When you turned around, you already knew exactly who was standing before the club entrance.
“That's not any of your business,” you tried to sound tough, but it came out tired and weak. So instead, you lifted your head, trying to save the remaining bits of your dignity.
Alonso tilted his head, brown eyes studying you for a moment before he made a step towards you. “Don't tell me you don't have anyone to take you back to your hotel?” The undertone of his voice was strange, and if you didn't know better, you'd think it was worry seeping out.
“Oh, then I won't tell you,” you fired back, satisfied with your own answer as you turned around and left him standing there.
You made it around the block when a strong hand suddenly grasped your hand, and you screamed, prepared to fight whoever attacked you.
“¡Ay dios mío!” Alonso cursed and held his red cheek, where there was a clear hand print now.
You stared at each other in shock. You wanted to kill him for scaring you to death, but at the same time, you were relieved it was just him and not a creepy kidnapper.
“I'd say I'm sorry… but I'm not,” you managed to mumble. A weak attempt, you knew that. But it still seemed to wake him from his trance and make him scoff at you in annoyance.
However, he didn't let go of your hand.
“Let's go,” Alonso urged you back towards the direction you came from.
“I'm not going anywhere with you.”
“Y/N, if you think I would let a drunk girl wander around a city she doesn't know, alone, at night… then you clearly don't know me at all.”
It took a few seconds for his words to hit you, and all there was left for you to do was to look up at him with surprise written all over your face. That seemed to annoy him for some reason, but with alcohol still very much present in your system, you didn't have the capacity to think about it too much.
“Let's go,” he repeated, though this time you didn't protest when he started walking towards what turned out to be his car. You knew it very well, from the years you used to work together, for the same team. Silently, you wondered how the hell did he get it to Hungary, but you soon forgot about that.
Fernando unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for you. Your mom would probably tell you to be more cautious about getting into the car of a man you didn't like and were sure he didn't like you as well. But hey, it's still better than being lost in a foreign city, right?
So you sat down, and before you could reach for the seatbelt, he took it and strapped you himself, mumbling something about safety hazards with drunk people. You were so surprised by that unexpected action you didn't even have time to feel offended.
You closed your eyes, the comfortable seat making you sleepy. You heard him get in the car as well and join the night traffic. For a moment, silence reigned and for the first time in a long time, it didn't feel horrible and tense.
“Isn't it illegal to drive with alcohol?” you whispered, eyes still closed.
“I didn't drink anything in the club. Too busy with you.”
Just then, you realized you actually asked the question out loud.
“Sorry for ruining your celebration night. Probably didn't want to leave it with me,” you laughed quietly. When he approached you in the club, he thought you were a random pretty woman with whom he could share a drink and take her to his bed for a fun night.
“Whatever.” You could hear him shrug his shoulders. “Sorry for ruining your night. Though you don't have much to celebrate.”
That made you open your eyes and gaze at him. He was looking straight ahead, concentrating on the road ahead. The lights of the other cars occasionally landed on his face, and you wondered if he was always so handsome, or it were the cocktails speaking for you.
“Wow, even in an apology there's a hidden insult,” you snickered, though there was a small grin on your lips now. Yes, definitely the alcohol speaking for you, you told yourself.
This time, Fernando actually looked at you before he averted his sight back to the traffic. “I wasn't insulting you, Y/N. I was insulting the team.”
You raised your eyebrows, but didn't comment on it. It was pointless to argue over this, he had his opinion about Alpine and given the fact both your cars didn't finish two races in a row, you didn't have exactly the best arguments to convince him otherwise. After all, he was part of the team last year. And the year before.
For the rest of your ride, there wasn't much more said between the both of you. You were tired — not just because of the night out and drinking, but from the whole week, from the whole season.
Finally, he parked the car before a building you recognized. You didn't ask him how he knew which hotel your team booked, perhaps he remembered it was the same one as the year before. Honestly, you were just glad he helped you get out of the car and walked you inside.
Then, you found yourself in an elevator alone with Fernando, again. Though unlike a month ago, he gently held your hand for support this time.
You told him your room number and somehow, he got you all the way in front of the door. You thanked all the saints in the world when you dug the keys out of your purse. After three unsuccessful tries at unlocking the room, Fernando's patience apparently ran out. He took the keys out of your hand and silently opened the lock.
“Thanks,” you muttered, and let him lead you inside your own hotel room.
When the light switch turned on and illuminated all the papers lying around, he looked at you, flabbergasted.
“What's all this?”
You shrug your shoulders and look at him like he was stupid. Which he was, at least in your humble opinion. “Work. What else?”
“Yes, yes. But why is it… here?” He motions towards the desk, nightstands, and bed.
“Because I don't have time to do it all in the office.”
“You work overtime?”
Now you were starting to get irritated.
“Yes, I work overtime. Maybe if you weren't so insistent in thinking I'm a dumb party girl ever since I made one stupid mistake in your car's analysis a year ago, you'd see I'm actually trying my best.” You hated how hurt you sounded, pathetic in your own ears.
But honestly, who was he to judge you? You never actually stood up to him before, defended yourself against his mean words. You always sucked it up, let him complain about you to your boss, who almost fired you because of the driver's obvious distaste for you. And when he left the team at the end of last year, you never tried to contact him, talk to him. Fix your non-existent relationship.
Today, though, you had enough. Maybe it was the alcohol giving you courage, maybe it was his shocked face when he realized you actually did your job.
“Y/N, I-”
“Get out,” you said in a tone that didn't allow for any objections. Fernando seemed to understand, but the pained expression didn't leave his face when he slowly walked to the door. Like he didn't really want to leave, like he desperately wanted to tell you something.
You didn't care about him. He never cared about you before as well, did he?
And so, with one last, regretful look in his dark eyes, Fernando Alonso left your hotel room. When tears ran down your cheeks, you weren't sure why you were even crying.
-----
You were avoiding him after that. It wasn't the easiest thing to do, but you managed and after surviving the Belgian Grand Prix in Spa, you were excited about the summer break as never before. Almost a whole month without races, which meant you wouldn't have to meet anyone from the other teams, including Fernando.
Usually, the team worked tirelessly through the summer break — it was a great chance to have a proper look into the car's engine and come up with new ideas and improvements. God knew you needed that. Typically, you were amongst those loyal employees, basically living in the Alpine headquarters.
However, this year you really wanted a break. So you used your vacation days and stayed in your flat, finally sleeping like a normal person for once, eating home-cooked meals instead of team catering and enjoying the summer, though the weather could be better in England.
It was the start of August when you started finding flower deliveries on the threshold of your door. First, you thought it's a mistake, though what woman would refuse a beautiful bouquet of her favorite flowers. When it happened a whole week in a row, you thought about having a secret admirer or, in the worse case scenario, a stalker. Though, you still took the flowers inside every morning, cherishing them.
And then, one day, there was an envelope attached to the bouquet, and you had to curse yourself for being so, so stupid. Of course it's him, Fernando. Begging you to talk to him, to let him explain. One dinner, he said. One dinner, and then he'll let you go on about your life.
When he tried to write a poem in the middle of August, you finally gave in. You found his old phone number saved amongst many other contacts and sent him a simple “okay”.
The next morning, there was a time and address of the restaurant in the envelope.
You didn't let yourself get too excited about any of it. It's Fernando Alonso, the man who almost caused you to get fired from your dream job, the one that was so mean to you after making wrong assumptions about you and your way of life. Yes, he was trying now, but was that enough?
When the taxi dropped you off in front of the fancy restaurant, you took a deep breath. You had a simple dress on, light makeup, and a few accessories.
You walked into the empty restaurant. The waitress smiled at you when you told her the name of the reservation and led you to the only set table. You could see the deep brown eyes looking directly at you from afar.
Suddenly, nervousness settled in your stomach. If you didn't know better, you'd think this was a date — it certainly felt like one.
Without a word, he helped you sit down on a chair across from him and the waitress handed you the menu. It was without prices, but you were certain this place was lavish and expensive. Perhaps Fernando didn't want you to worry about it and let you order anything you wanted. And you tried not to be too impressed by that.
“You look very beautiful, hermosa,” he spoke after a minute of tense silence while you pretended to be interested in the menu. You didn't miss the fact he used the same nickname like that night in the club, when he thought you were someone else.
“Compliments won't make it easier for you.” Maybe you lied, because you liked him calling you beautiful.
“I know, but I couldn't help myself.”
The waitress came back with a bottle of wine that Fernando must've ordered before you arrived. You took a sip and it tasted like heaven. It almost made you forget about everything, almost.
“Please, can we talk?” You never heard his voice sound so… unsure.
“Aren't we talking right now?”
“Y/N.” The way he said your name was so soft, so delicate.
“Fernando.” You saw him flinch, and you realized it was probably the first time you called him by his first name. Suddenly, the whole situation felt more intimate.
He gulped, but there was determination written all over his face. Fernando Alonso wasn't the type of man to give up, you knew that. His amazing racing career was proof of that.
“Listen to me, please. I know that you have the right to never speak to me again after how I treated you. But I want to fix it, Y/N.”
Those brown eyes were going to be the death of you, burying themselves into your soul, your heart.
“I want to fix all of it, Y/N,” he repeated with all seriousness. “If you let me,” Fernando added.
And how could you say no to him? Deep down, you always admired him. Liked him, even. Before that fuck up with his car's analysis, you thought he might like you back. You always wanted his approval, and that was one of the reasons why his words and insults hurt so much.
Sometimes, people deserved second chances. Especially when they were looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky.
Slowly, you nodded. “I think I might let you, Fernando.” You smiled, liking how his name felt on your tongue. “But it's not going to be easy, I'm telling you that,” you warned him with a raised finger.
“I wouldn't dream of anything less,” he replied with a thick Spanish accent that was stronger when he felt emotions. Fernando returned your smile and clinked his glass with yours.
-----
Brazil was a good race. Both Alpine cars ended up in points and Fernando, your Fernando, got another podium. You clapped along with others during the podium ceremony, eyes just for him. A proud feeling settled in you, and as he accepted his trophy for well deserved third place, he looked down at the gathered crowd. Mostly people from Aston Martin, McLaren, and Red Bull.
And then there was you — in your Alpine t-shirt, clapping for the driver who scandalously left your team last year, without a care in the world. That was when he knew he loved you, and that he'll always will.
You knew you loved him too when, after all the celebrating around the circuit died down or moved to clubs and private parties, instead of going to his hotel room, he knocked on the door of yours. Checking on you.
“Hermosa, I hope you're not working.” He rolled his eyes as he stepped in, seeing you indeed staring into your notebook at some data he probably shouldn't see as a part of a rival team.
“But Nando, I need to finish these-”
He cut you off the best way he could — hugging you from behind, gently turning your head towards him and placing his lips on yours. You instantly melted into the kiss, giving up the fight before it could even start.
“I think you need to properly celebrate your boyfriend winning,” he smirked, biting your lip teasingly. You felt like a teenage girl when the butterflies took off in your stomach.
Fernando slowly walked you to the bed, never parting your lips, as if his life depended on kissing you. You sat on his lap, your hips grinding against his as you moaned into his mouth.
And he couldn't help himself. He wanted to take you out on a magical date and tell you there, but how could he keep it a secret when you were sitting on him, so beautiful that his heart clenched. Smart and pretty girl. His smart and pretty girl.
“Te amo,” he whispered into your sweet lips, and your breath caught.
You pulled back a little, looking at him, silently asking if you heard him correctly.
“Te amo, Y/N,” he repeated. You knew enough Spanish for your eyes to tear up. “I love you very much.”
There was a heartbeat of silence, probably the longest one in your whole life.
“I love you too. So much,” you whispered back. And then, for him: “Te amo, Fernando.”
Now it was his turn to tear up, hold your face in his hands and press your foreheads together.
Perhaps the fate and its plans for you weren't so horrible after all.
THE END
Author's Note: Wow, if you read it all to the end, thank you very much! I'll be glad for likes, comments, reblogs, follows and every other way of support. Let me know how you liked this story and if you'd maybe like another oneshot from this "universe" because I have to admit, this version of Fernando and Y/N kind of grew on me... Have a great day and see you at the next post! :)
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