#okay so I finally stopped asking myself “what brush would work” and instead “what am I looking for”

[ambitions-of-an-eccedentesiast]

ah yes, the story of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde where everything is infamous alright and nothing goes wrong ::)

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[jojo0039]

*Pogue for Life* No Love Club Part 2

Jo follows JJ to one of the bedroom.

"Jay- wait I can explain." she starts.

He turns to face her in anger.

"Is it fucking true? Are you really engaged to him?" he demands to know.

She nods her head hesitantly with tears in her eyes.

JJ looks like he's fighting back tears.

"Okay, but listen, I never thought I would see you again. I was so tired of fighting him off, that I finally just let myself relax and enjoy his company." she tells him.

"You should have known that we would have found a way to find you!" JJ raises his voice.

"How the hell was I supposed to know that Jay?! I was stuck on an island with him and his family! I was lonely and I missed you like crazy."

She is openly crying as she angrily swipes the tears from her face.

"So you just let him seduce you? Do you forget everything that he's done? To us? To Sarah?" JJ yells.

"No, I didn't forget, okay? But things are complicated and not that simple." she argues back.

"It seems pretty simple to me. You chose to stay with him instead of risking it all with us, with me."

Jo sees the look of betrayal and hurt on his face and in his voice.

"When I saw him about to pull that trigger on that gun, I didn't think I just reacted the only way I knew would work." JJ scoffs.

"You may not believe it, but I was protecting each and every one of you! I stopped him from shooting at the boat and drowning you guys!  I will not regret my decision to save you. So don't you dare make me feel bad!" Jo yells.

"Where does this even leave us? Are you in love with him?" JJ asks hesitantly all the fight leaving his voice.

"I don't know. I wish I knew." she tells him.

JJ scoffs in disbelief.

"Do you even love me?" he asks.

"I've always loved you Jay." she tells him.

He steps closer to her.

"But are you in love with me? That's what I wanna know. Because I am in love with you."

She stays silent and wide eyed.

He shakes his head.

"Let me know when you figure it out."

He brushes past her and leaves the room.

Jo sinks down to the floor as she starts crying.

Pope comes in the room and sits down beside Jo.

He wraps his arm around her shoulders.

She leans into him as she continues to cry.

"I really messed up things didn't I?"

She continues to cry on Pope's shoulder.

"Yea, things are pretty messed up right now. We all know why you did what you did. Just give him some time. He'll calm down." Pope tells her.

"I really didn't mean for things to turn out this way. I really just wanted to make sure you guys were safe." Jo says to him.

"I know that. We all do. It's gonna be okay eventually." he tries to assure her.

"I don't know if it will this time." she says sadly.

"Why don't you come with me and Cleo to find some food? It'll get you off the boat and give you guys some space." he suggests.

She nods her head.

"Yea, that sounds like a good idea." Jo agrees.

                                                 ***********************************

Once they make port in St. Kitts, Jo follows behind Pope and Cleo as they go to try to find some food for everybody.

"Alright, let's go find a corner shop. Gotta be one nearby." Cleo states as they walk from the docks towards the streets.

"So how are we doing this?" Jo asks.

"We go in there and get some provisions." Cleo tells her.

"So we're just gonna shoplift?" Pope asks not entirely happy about it.

"You have a pocketful of cash?" Cleo asks sarcastically.

She watches him as he doesn't look to be in a good mood.

She looks between the two friends and neither one of them are talkative.

"So no snappy comeback? Come on. I know why she's upset, but what's going on Grey Pipe?" Cleo tries to get him to talk.

"I ain't got nothing. Okay? So go do your thing."

Cleo sighs and nudges Jo in the arm.

"Alright, crazy girl and I got this. Just watch our backs. Maybe this will cheer you up some." Cleo says with a smile.

Jo follows behind Cleo and Pope quickly follows behind both of them.

Cleo walks over to the counter to get the guy's attention.

Jo hears her asking about pepper sauce as she quickly walks down an aisle.

Jo finds a bunch of canned foods and stuffs them in a bag.

She finds some fruit and stashes them in the bag.

She goes to sneak back out the door and sees the man trying to see in Cleo's bag.

Pope quickly gets in front of the man to distract him saying that the mangos are bad.

He is talking in a bad Jamaican accent.

Jo and Cleo share a look and laugh.

Pope starts running towards them and they get the hint and run out the door.

"Get back here! You can't be serious! Thieving rats!"

The shop owner shouts at them as they run back down to the dock.

"Is that what you think I sound like? That was horrible!" Cleo laughs.

"Yea why pick on the mangos I grabbed some." Jo also laughs.

"You were right. This does make me feel better." Pope laughs.

They find a secluded spot close to the dock and sit down on a bench.

"Look what I scored! Jackpot." Cleo holds up a bag of nuts.

Jo smiles halfheartedly and looks out towards the water.

Pope stays quiet.

"Alright, what's going with you? Is it what happened with you and Kie earlier?" Cleo asks.

That catches Jo's attention and she looks back at Pope.

"What happened with Kie?" Jo asks.

"When we were coming into port, I went to let Kie know that were pulling in, and she told me that she doesn't have feelings for me romantically." Pope tells them.

"I'm sorry Pope." Jo leans her head on his shoulder.

"I get it man, the same thing happened to me. There was this bad man back on my island. Sorta like your Rafe Cameron. Taught me how to survive on a street. He was the best thief I had ever seen, and I fell for him. Turns out he was stealing from me too, and I felt like an idiot."

Jo and Pope listen to Cleo open up about her past.

"Love, is stupid and a waste of time. Shut that shit down, Pipe. You too crazy girl. Just go cold turkey." Cleo tells them.

"Does that work for you?" Pope asks.

"Do you see me with my face all long, thinking about someone who isn't thinking about me? Or dealing with drama from two men who want me?"

Cleo pauses as she watches them.

"It seems we have the same problem. Tried love and it didn't work out. We should start a club, ya know?" Cleo tells them with a smile.

"A club?" Jo looks amused.

"Yea, let's call it The No Love Club." Cleo tells them.

"What?" Pope chuckles.

"The No Love Club." Cleo verifies.

"That's so corny." Pope comments.

"Think about it." Cleo tells them.

"So cold turkey from all obsessive thoughts, huh? It's gonna hard. I have a lot of obsessive thoughts." Pope tells her.

"It's true he does." Jo jokes.

"Alright, I'm down. Lets do it. What do you think Jo?"

Pope and Cleo wait for Jo to answer.

"Love has brought me nothing, but pain and heartache. Let's do it. I'm down." Jo says.

"Alright!" Cleo stands up excitedly.

"Well, I guess we gotta come up with a handshake, right?" Cleo tells them.

"We start with this."

She shows them by sliding her hand against Pope's.

"Then no love."

She makes a heart with her fingers.

Jo and Pope copy her.

She then shakes her finger in a no motion.

"You gotta rock with it."

She shows them by rocking her body back and forth.

Pope and Jo laugh as they rock back and forth.

They all laugh as they practice their new handshake.

                                            **********************

They make it back to the boat, and Jo's mood instantly changes.

She goes straight down to the small kitchen area, and puts the food away.

She goes back up to the main deck and sees Pope and Cleo sitting together talking.

Kie and JJ are up by the helm and they look to be talking.

She looks up and JJ looks down at her, but he just shakes his head and turns back to Kie.

She sees Sarah sitting by herself looking out at the water.

She turns to go back down to the cabins and hide from her friends, but stops and goes to sit by Sarah.

She doesn't say anything to her.

"I've been wondering, how did you manage to get away without Rafe?" Sarah asks her.

"He uh, he let me go." Jo tells her.

"What?" Sarah asks.

"We were at the boat and he told me that he doesn't want me to regret or resent him for him taking me." Jo feels tears in her eyes.

"I got him help. He was seeing a therapist twice a week. He was never violent while I was there. I know things will never be the same with you two, but if it helps he was getting the help that he needed." Jo tells her.

"It doesn't matter, but I'm glad that he at least had you to get him the help he needs. Thank you for that." Sarah says to her.

"We should make it back to Kildare by morning."

Kie informs them as she sits down next to Jo.

"I'm sure my dad is gonna kill me." Jo laughs.

"Yea, my parents are gonna kill me too." Kie mumbles.

"Promise me that no matter what happens we have each other." Sarah says.

Kie links her pinky finger with Jo as Jo links her pinky finger with Sarah.

                                             **********************************

They finally make it back to Outer Banks in the early morning.

They pull up to the Chateau to drop Sarah and Jo off.

She isn't ready to see her dad yet so she's going to her mom's house to shower and change.

They see another boat already docked.

"Who the hell is here?" Sarah asks.

"It has to be John B." Jo tells her.

Sarah runs up towards the porch.

Jo looks back at the boat and sees JJ watching her.

Once he realizes she's looking back, he turns his head away.

 Jo turns away with hurt and watches as the boat sails away.

Jo sighs and makes her way up to the Chateau where she sees Sarah waking up John B.

 She gives them a minute, until John B turns his gaze onto Jo.

"Holy shit. You're here too."

John B stands up and pulls Jo into a hug.

"I'm here. Thank God you made it back. Wait."

Jo pulls away from him.

"How did you make it back?" she asks him.

"Wait, you guys don't know?" John B asks.

"Know what?" Sarah asks.

"My dad. He's alive and he's here!"

He turns to show them the couch inside.

But no one is laying there.

"He was just there. I swear you guys, he was just right here." John B says.

Jo and Sarah share a look.

"John B." Sarah tries to get his attention.

"No, I promise you. He was just right here!" He moves away to the house.

"I know you want him to be alive so badly." Jo starts.

"How else would I have gotten here Jo? I promise you."

He moves off the porch.

"Dad!" John B shouts.

Jo looks over and spots her mom's trailer and it looks the same as it did before she left.

                                                  ***************************

Buzz's phone rings waking him up.

He looks at the caller ID and doesn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" he answers.

"Hey Bud, it's John. I'm back in the OBX with my boy. I need your help to get into the impound lot." Buzz hears John speak.

He sighs in annoyance and gets up from the bed.

"Why do you need in the impound lot John?" Buzz asks as he gets dressed.

"The kids had a copy of Denmark's diary in the Twinkie. Are you with me on this?" John asks.

"I'll be right there. I'll pick you up."

Buzz hangs up the phone and grabs his keys.

[ruminate88]

Making a list of ways my exes tried to devalue me and my self esteeem.

Ugh let’s start with Jake:

Jake praised me at the start. Said what a good singer and rapper I was. Acted impressed with me. Asked to write a song with me. Accept the whole time we’re on the phone trying to come up with “lyrics”, he seemingly doesn’t like any of my ideas. He was making me feel intimidated like he’s smarter than me. Also, eventually he started making comments like, “I don’t want you to go to Hollywood. You’re too good of a girl and they’ll mess you up.” Basically was trying to act like “my father” and was bossing me around. I told him he doesn’t get to decide what I do, that I can go do whatever I want. Jake was like being pushing saying, “No. You are never going to be famous.” Finally whenever Jake exploited my private photos on his Twitter, he made me feel so humiliated and ashamed. I felt so nasty and he created all these fake accounts to tweet me/attack me. 🥺🥺🥺 Also would show up after every break up I went through, trying to get back into my life and especially after Andrew, Jake was trying to make me feel so bad for being with a younger guy yet Jake was supposedly younger than me too!!! (Not exactly sure how old he lied about his age and birthdate!! I kept googling trying to find the truth.)

Now Cody:

Cody originally said “he’s obsessed with me” but then sometimes when I’m talking to him he would act like “uh… what are you talking??” Making it awkward. Another incident was when a band we both like but he liked them more, retweeted a song cover I did. I thought cody would be so excited but instead he said to me, “I don’t understand why they retweeted that….” 🤨🥺 Jealous much?? If that had happened to him, I would’ve been sooooo hapoy for him. I brushed it off at the time but looking back, he couldn’t stand for me to get the attention he probably craved. Also anytime I shared my music with him, Cody told me my voice sounded “just okay on slow songs but not on fast songs.” 😝 He made me feel bad and worse, I “trusted his opinions”. Why, idk. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve been working on bettering my voice ever sense. He does NOT get to decide if I’m a good enough singer or not. Also when he was trying to dump me suddenly, he was trying to convince me I’m “too old for him.” Even though he originally said he was obsessed with me, so in love, now he’s making me feel bad cuz I’m older than him. 😝🤨🤣

Lastly, Andrew:

Anytime I poured out my undying love to him or questioned his behavior, he acted scared. My feelings literally scared him!! 🥴🥺 Yet he would never break up with me. Weird… After we broke up, that’s when he was super critical. Making me feel like a dirty girl after he initiates flirting me with and coming on to me. Downplaying our relationship, acting like sorry but I was just too stupid and he pretended/tricked me. So he makes me cry and he can’t handle it. He says to me, “If I am hurting you so much, then stop caring about me.” Never heard anything more hurtful in my life!! 😭😭😭 Him downplaying me being depressed. Telling me “You’re too beautiful to be depressed.” As if I have no feelings ever. I’m just a shiny toy. He said to me, “God wouldn’t want you to be depressed.” 🤪 That man never talked about God once the whole time I knew him. Weird. Then when I’m suicidal, after we had been arguing so much, he’s telling me “I need to better myself, I am not well and I need to get professional help… ” Tells me I should look at my life and want “better”. Really!????? Just making me feel so bad about myself. 😑

Those are just the negative comments I can remember. I am sure there is more… I know they were only wanting to hurt me because it makes them feel better about themselves. Did they really mean the things they said??? I’ll never know… All I know is, I’m getting better at my singing/song-writing. I’m not a bad person. I wasn’t perfect, I shouldn’t have showed my nudes to either of them but don’t tell me “you’re obsessed or in love with me” then I won’t think it’s “love” when clearly it was just sex. Can’t trust them. They are judgmental because they want to be superior to me. My love is foreign to them and scares them. 😓 Well, with Jake, I didn’t want a relationship with him so he was angry at me because he couldn’t dominate me or keep tabs on me. My feelings are valid, I am NOT crazy, I am not perfect but I had innocent intentions to find love with Cody or Andrew. I tried not to hurt Jake even though I kept friend zoning him. I’m sorry Jake. I have so much love to give and I’m allowed to make mistakes. Andrew was trying to make me believe I have to be “perfect”. Jeeze 😑 (he probably believes he can’t do wrong)

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Billy and the reader having a fwb relationship but he's not really nice or gentle, more just using her and she finally has enough of it?

I'm a sucker for angst and the way you write Billy cuz it's so realistic.

This is heartbreakingly good. And so long. This takes place after the mall, Billy survived but still has a hint of his toxic masculinity and douchiness lol. Non-canon.

My head tips back against the pillows as a shudder moan rumbles in my chest, the arch in my back relaxing back into his bed as I laugh quietly to myself. His forehead rests on my collarbone, back rising and falling as his arms wrap around my waist, hugging himself to me. My brows pull together in something resembling shock, not used to him lingering for so long after sex. Tentatively, my fingers reach out to brush through the sweaty hair matted to his forehead but he slips away from me, making his way to the edge of the bed as my lips pull down into a frown.

No aftercare. Again.

Clutching the blankets to my chest I sigh sadly, my eyes fluttering shut as he tosses the condom into the trash, pulling on his boxers soon after. I watch him silently as he continue's to just go along with his night as if he didn't call me here at midnight to fuck.

"Can I get a ride home?" I ask, nervous as he throws me an annoyed glance over his shoulder, my heart banging against my chest as he clears his throat.

"How'd you get here?" His question makes me frown deeply, knowing that he would just tell me to go home the same way I came here, that he didn't owe me anything.

"I walked." I scoff, half expecting him to say okay and agree to drive me home but instead he stands, smirking down at me and he reaches out, patting my cheek.

"Well, I know I'm that good in bed but I think your legs work just fine." My lip juts out in a pout as I reach down to grab my dress, slipping it over my head as Billy lights his cigarette, smiling at himself in the mirror.

"Oh, uh, alright." My feet hit the floor and my legs wobble a bit, my post-orgasm bliss brutally ruined by Billy's sour, off-putting attitude. But he's basking in his high, his skin glowing along with his smile.

"Don't sound so disappointed, sweet-cheeks. What did you expect?" He laughs, spinning around to face me as I collect my things, peaking out the window to see rain hitting against the glass.

"Nothing, I expected nothing." I mutter, brushing my fingers through my hair as I make my way towards his door, disappointed by another walk of shame. I should just stop coming to him every time he calls, but the way he looks at me when I first arrive, the neediness behind his beautiful eyes, the way his hands feel against my skin; it makes me feel appreciated. But the minute it's over, the walls come crashing down and I'm disappointed once more.

"Jesus Christ, Y/n, relax." His laugh is bitter as my hand rests on the doorknob, hesitating as he approaches me, brushing his knuckles against my cheek. Bitter tears rise to my eyes as I turn to face him, his brows pulling together briefly in confusion but his cocky expression returns moments later.

"Do you know how fucking mean you are?" I can tell the laugh he releases is forced, his eyes rolling and I fight against the thoughts telling me to slap him across the face.

"Go fuck yourself." He hisses with a smirk but I just drop my things, my bag hitting the floor with a loud thump and he gives me a testing look, his eyes dark and menacing.

"Why do you always do that?" I ask, folding my arms over my chest.

"Do what?"

"The minute you think you're acting soft, you shut down and immediately start acting like such an asshole!" His eyes roll once more, annoyed at my girlish prying, but there's something about him that finds my attitude amusing, his smirk never fading.

"Has it ever occurred to you that I am an asshole?!" He asks, brows furrowed as he steps up to me, towering over my frame and his eyes flicker over my face.

"No, because I refuse to admit that I was stupid enough to let myself be manipulated by you for months." He looks disgusted at the mention of manipulating me, his smirk finally falling and now is replaced my a stern scowl.

"Manipulated?" He asks slowly, almost as if he didn't hear me right, testing me to see if I'll say it again and hold my ground.

"Yes! You were so fucking nice to me in the beginning and then once I bent over and spread my legs, that went out the fucking window. This, who you are right now, is not what I signed up for." My hands slam against his chest as he takes a sudden step backwards, confused as to where this whole outburst is coming from but, little does he know, it's been coming on for months. "So, I was the dumbass who thought, for one second, maybe you could act human instead of a cold-hearted jackass who doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself."

There's a heavy pause in the room, silence consuming us as the cigarette between his fingertips slowly burns out, his attention now directed fully to me. His lips part at my overwhelming confession and my anger, my shoulders pulled back as I wait for his response, ready to fly off the handle again and yell even louder than he could imagine.

"You think I don't care about you?" His voice is surprisingly unsteady but also equally confused, as if he's shocked at the thought of me feeling neglected and uncared for.

"I don't know what the fuck you care about! You never fucking talk to me. All you do is use me, drive me home and not call for days." An offended look passes across his face as I take a step towards him, watching him as his lips part to talk but I barely allow him get a word out.

"I don't-"

"You do! And you don't give a shit. You don't care that you're mean to me, you don't care when you call me names, you don't care when you treat me like I'm some whore and you certainly don't give a shit when I cry." My finger pokes against his chest as his head shakes, eyes fluttering shut in frustration. I can almost hear his thought process, 'why would she cry?', completely none-the-wiser to my complete and utter unhappiness. "Fuck I can't do this anymore. I'm out." I laugh bitterly, taking a step away from him before collecting my things for the second time tonight. Billy's fingers quickly wrap around my upper arm, eyes now wide as he continues to shake his head with a scoff.

"What, no-"

"Find someone else to fuck o-or whatever you think you're doing with me. I can't do it. I can't cry anymore, I can't hold out hope that you'll suddenly change- you're obviously incapable of change." A single tear slips down my cheek as I pull myself from his grasp but he just moves desperately to stand in front of the door, his hands reaching out to rest on my upper arms, forcing me to look at him.

"I'm not- hey, don't go." If I didn't know him so well, I'd think he was pleading, his voice sounding pathetically close to begging as his eyes rake over me. But that isn't Billy's style, he didn't beg. He would ask and when he doesn't get what he wants, he gets angry and shuts down.

"No, because now you're going to act all nice and sweet and pathetic to get me back into bed with you and I'll be hating myself in a week for not leaving sooner." I explain, shaking my head as I reach up to grip at my hair. "If you don't care then neither do I-"

"I want to not care!" He yells, clapping his hands in front of me, my whole body jumping at his outburst. I take a step back immediately at his angry outburst, his face dropping a bit at the sight of my fearful response. He immediately looks apologetic, his eyes softening a bit as his hands drop from my arms. "Alright? Fuck, what do you want me to say? You want to be the girl who changes me, suffers through the hard shit to see the light at the end of the goddamn tunnel- there is no light." He whispers, walking towards me but I just continue to back up until my legs hit the edge of his bed, angry tears filling my eyes.

"Then let me leave." The words come out slowly as if I'm talking to a child, his head immediately shaking as he lowers himself to his knees in front of me, the movement seeming so small but it's a big deal. He never lowers himself, physically or in an emotional sense, beneath me, never. It's seen as submissive and obedient to him, two things that Billy is not.

"No." He whispers simply, his face stone-cold serious, no ounce of cockiness left in his expression or tone.

"Then give me an actual reason to stay." I plead, reaching up to wipe the tears streaming down my cheeks. I'm can't be sad, no not at all, but the frustration of months of wanting to just yell at him and tell him to open up to me just seems to pile up on my shoulders all at once, wanting nothing more than to topple me. "If you can't say one thoughtful thing and show me that you're apparently capable of change, then I'm leaving and you'll never see me again." He's on his feet in a seconds notice, fists clenching at his sides as he shifts his weight between his feet. With a forced exhale, he sits down beside me, resting his head in his hands.

"I- fuck." He mutters, hair falling down and framing his face as I force myself to not to reach out and rub his back. I'm the one who needs comfort, not him. "Just don't go. I'll come up with something." He turns his head to look at me, biting at his lip as he sighs. My leg bounces anxiously and I wait for him to come up with something, hoping and praying that it's worth my time and energy. "I don't talk to people- you want me to fucking talk and soften but it's just not my style." He laughs, sitting up as I turn in my spot, facing him completely.

"Then what is? Because, please, for gods sake, give me a way to communicate with you." I chuckle, his brows perking up a bit at the positive emotion coming from me, expecting me only to be angry and upset with him from here on in.

I think that he thinks that once someones mad at him and it takes a negative turn, that they're just going to stay mad. So, if he responds with more anger before the other person can, he's preventing himself from getting hurt.

But at the sound of my relaxed laugh, he cools down a bit, the defensiveness that was there previously now fading completely. Knowing him, that could turn at the drop of a hat. He looks away from me, his hand rubbing over his jaw as he stutters a bit, trying to articulate the words on the tip of his tongue

"I like having sex with you." He says, serious as can be but it draws a laugh out of me.

"I'm well aware." I point to the marks on his shoulders, his chin craning to look at the crescent shaped nail marks on his skin. He chuckles lightly, the tension in the room diminishing a bit and he shakes his head with a soft smile.

"No, I..." He pauses, fiddling with his fingers as a he forces a cringed smile. "I feel happy, I guess, when I'm close to you." It almost looks as if it's paining him to say that, especially the word happy, his eyes closing as his cheeks redden a bit in embarrassment.

"Oh." It's all I can manage to say, my lips parted as he avoids my soft gaze. "You're allowed to say that. It's not like I'll get the wrong idea." I laugh incredulously, scooting a bit towards him as his brows raise, looking at me with a deadpanned look.

"You will. You'll suddenly start to think that I'm boyfriend material and I'm not."

"Why not?" I ask but he just rolls his eyes. "I mean, you've been nothing but a douche to me and I'm still here."

"That's not an accomplishment, sweetheart." I ignore the butterflies in my stomach the best I can as I allow him to go on, knowing in my heart that I would never be able to convince him otherwise, he's already so stuck in his ways and views of himself. "The men in my family aren't meant for relationships." I'm well aware that his words have a deeper weight to them. I know that's a dig at his dad, the tightness of his jaw and the sudden flash of anger that passes across his expression is a dead give away.

"Fuck that." I whisper, capturing his attention as his anger suddenly returns as quickly as it left.

"Fuck you."

"No, Billy, that's such bullshit." My voice is louder than his and way more steady, his eyes widening a bit as I match his energy, not backing down. "I know you're dads a piece of shit, I see the bruises and I see the look you give Max every time that she's a little bit late. You get blamed and punished for it all the time." He already knows everything I'm saying is true, but maybe he never realized I noticed or even paid attention to him that much. His face reddens at the mention of the abuse he suffers at the hand of his father, his words coming out gritted and cautious.

"Shut up."

"No." A smirk spreads across my lips as I continue to poke the bear, hoping that it'll get me somewhere and he'll end up accidentally, angrily, lashing out and revealing something. "You're becoming more like your dad the more you try not to." It's as if a switch flips in him, his fingers gripping at the blanket beneath him as he looks me dead in the eyes.

"Shut up!" He shouts but I laugh, shaking my head with a nonchalant shrug. If looks could kill, I would be six feet under right now but he knows better than to ever raise a hand on me, especially if he already doesn't want me to leave. He had seen his father and Max's mother and something tells me that he doesn't want it to ever go that far. That it terrifies him to think that he's capable of that.

"I'm right."

"I know!" His voice cracks as his chest deflates, head falling back into his hands as he groans. "Fuck, you piss me off." A proud grin spreads over my lips as I chuckle, clapping my hands and snapping him out of his angry bubble.

"There we go! Alright, I piss you off, what else?" He watches me, confused, as I make my way to my feet, placing my hands on his shoulders as I slide myself down onto his lap. He looks genuinely shocked at the sudden movement but doesn't push me away, his brows pulled together. "Go on, tell me. How do I make you feel?" I want him to get angry, to insult me, anything; only if it meant that we could get somewhere and get him to explain how he feels.

"You annoy the shit out of me." He whispers, jaw gritting but his anger doesn't reach his eyes. His eyes are soft as his gaze flickers between my eyes and my lips. A naughty grin takes over my face, my fingers playing with the necklace that sits against his collarbones.

"You don't feel that way when you're inside of me." He snorts at my observation, nodding his head as he allows himself to relax a bit, his arms wrapping protectively around my waist to keep me seated on his lap.

"Fuck off." He whispers, hair falling in his face and I'm quick to brush the curls away, my fingertips brushing against the soft skin of his forehead.

"What else?" I ask, encouraging him to continue sharing, even if it's negative. He just takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly with a small scowl on his lips, his eyes now avoiding mine.

"You make me laugh." He mutters almost in a groan, hating himself for actually admitting it. When he looks back up at me, I can only imagine his annoyance increases at the sight of my happy, shit eating grin. "Sometimes- don't push your luck." He warns with a laugh, hands gripping my waist.

"I'm listening." I whisper, wanting nothing more than to hear him go on, to have a positive interaction outside of sex. The only time he's ever been sweet to me, kind and soft, has been during sex, right at the end. A soft smile taking over his features, a tired look on his face as he allows himself to relax into me; it's always been my favorite Billy.

"Stop looking at me like that." His voice catches me off guard, forcing me from my thoughts as I tilt my head curiously at him.

"Like what?"

"Like you need me." He sounds sad, his lips tugged down in a soft frown. "In a not sexual way."

"What if I do?" My words sound foreign to me, rolling off of my tongue before I can even stop it. Of course I wanted him, I wanted him in every way before we even started hooking up. I would've never been able to tell him that had I not hauled off on him in anger tonight, never having the courage to actually stand up for myself and come clean about my vague feelings for him. "Would that be so bad?" My question is genuine, watching him with patience as he ponders for a few quiet moments.

"You think I'm that capable of change?"

My lips part gently at his question, only expecting him to tell me to fuck off again or insult me but instead I'm confronted with sincerity. He looks timid, jaw clenching on and off as he gulps, looking up at me after a few moments.

"After Max almost took your balls off, you've been way more agreeable to her. Hell, you apologized to her when you were in the sauna and-"

"You were there?" He interrupts, his body suddenly tensing beneath me as I scoff a bit in shock. My hands slide down from his shoulders and down to rest on his bare chest, rubbing circles into the tense muscles.

"Course I was." It never crossed my mind that he wasn't aware while he was taken over by the mind flayer but by the confused look on his face, I can tell that he's going to need further explanation in the future. For now, I continue. "I think if you were willing to change your behavior for her then yeah, I think you're capable of change."

"But she threatened me." He laughs, embarrassed as he recalls the time he almost got a baseball bat to the balls in front of Steve 'The Hair' Harrington. His forehead rests against my collarbones and his hairs tickle my skin, a soft laugh leaving me as I rake my fingers through his hair.

"So did I. What's worse, losing your balls or losing me?"

"Don't make me answer that." He chuckles, looking up at me with kind eyes, the first time I've ever really seen them without him immediately insulting me or pushing me away.

Maybe I am getting somewhere.

"It's alright, I already know the answer." I chuckle, scooting further onto his lap as he laughs and he doesn't shy away from holding me, just pulling me even tighter to his chest. "How old were you when your mom left?" He blinks at me a few times at the sudden invasive question, his lips parting as he forces a laugh.

"This is not a therapy session." He whispers, leaning up to try to capture my lips in a kiss, distracting me from a topic that he doesn't want to talk about but I just turn my head.

"How old?" I ask again, lips pressing against his cheek as he huffs.

"Young- younger than Max is." He forces out quickly, shaking his head as his eyes tear away from me. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay." He looks surprised at my agreeable nature, confused as to why I didn't try to pry even more, especially knowing me. But there's hope in the back of my head that if I don't push him, that he'll open up on his own, without me needing to pry. "Do you think that by pushing everyone away that you're protecting yourself? That if you push everyone away before they leave, you'll be okay?" His body freezes against me, his forehead dropping once more to rest on my shoulder, his back rising and falling in anxious breaths. It's as if I've uncovered this great secret that I've already been well aware of since I've known him.

"That's fucking stupid." He mutters, fists clenching against my sides as he continues to just stay hidden in the crook of my neck.

"It makes sense." His ears perk up at my validating words, his weight falling into me as he allows himself one moment, just one second of softness and peace. "And you almost died- I watched you almost die. You've been through a lot and lost a lot, Billy." Assuming he doesn't know that I was there that night at the mall, I don't explain any further, not wanting to bring up any negative memories that might be haunting him already.

"I don't really remember it." He mumbles against me, shaking his head as a shiver runs down his spine. "I don't want to." My heart aches at the shakiness of his voice, his shoulders rolling anxiously as he continues. "I really don't want to be cruel to you. I just don't want to talk sometimes, so I yell and I get so fucking angry." He pulls back, his eyes dipping lower than mine as I bite back a smile, knowing wholeheartedly that I broke through to him in some way or another.

"Then tell me that." He nods quickly, reaching up to rub his eyes tiredly as he falls back into the bed, tugging me with him, capturing my lips in a timid kiss. I smile against him, my hand instinctively cupping his cheeks as he leans over me.

"I don't want to talk anymore." He mutters against me, trailing kisses down my chin, pressing his lips in a sweet kiss to my shoulder before tucking into me, his nose brushing against my neck as I blow out a relieved breath, hoping to be able to move on from tonight in a positive way.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr

[randoauthor]

Little Yellow Onesie (B.B)

Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x Wife!Reader

Warnings: Misscarrage, mentions of death, stillbirth, swearing

Word Count: 1k

Author's Note: This is like really sad so I apologize in advance

Summary: "A yellow onesie is never worn because its owner was never born" ~unknown

MasterList!

We were so excited.

Of course, it caught us both off guard at first, I mean we were both pilots how the hell were we gonna be able to take care of a baby?

But then we heard your heartbeat, the steady thump like a drum and your father was already head over heels for you.

*Five Months Prior* "Are you sure?" Bradley's voice rang clear through the phone, excitement and fear dancing together in his voice.

"I mean the six tests I've taken would say I am but you never know." I shoot back playfully, I knew we were gonna be good parents, we had always talked about it. Now was an interesting time to begin but I knew that our baby was already so loved.

"Holy shit." Bradley brought me back down to earth, I could tell he was smiling from ear to ear. "I'm gonna be a dad."

*Now* I was on edge.

Bradley was on edge.

Neither of us had felt you move all morning, your usual feisty kicks when your father talked to you or the somersaults you did whenever I laid down had stopped, and we were both on edge.

Worry gripping us by the throat as we pulled into the parking lot of our doctors office I finally allow myself to let a few tears slip.

"Our baby is okay," Bradley said trying to be reassuring but failing at the sound of his own voice cracking, "they are just scaring us." I give him a nod to tell him that I appreciate the try but that it isn't working like he wants it to.

The rest of the appointment was numb. The doctor confirming our worst suspicion with a teary-eyed look and a sad nod.

"I'll give you guys a moment." She said softly, "I'll be back to discuss options shortly." With a small shoulder squeeze she was out the door, allowing Bradley and I to sit in the dark sonogram room.

He was the first to cry.

His shoulders shook as the sobs racked through him, I did my best to comfort him but all my efforts failed at the sight of the man I love being in tears. A few slipping down my face while I try to process the news.

Mav was the first one we called.

He didn't even wait for the phone call to end before he started crying, Penny joining in soon after. We decided not to tell anyone else, not until after it was over. We thought we were going through the hard part, but in reality, it was just beginning.

We decided to deliver. Bradley made me aware that this was my choice not his and that he would be there for me regardless of what I chose.

We headed home, the seldom car ride was made worse by the fact that we had just put the carseat in the back of the car a week prior. The small seat taunted us as we drove home to pack hospital bags, only needing two instead of three.

Bradley did his best to make sure I was comfortable when it came time to deliver. He held my hand through every contraction, brushed my stray hairs out of my face as I pushed, and held me while I cried to fill the deafening sound of the empty room, the room that was supposed to be filled with your cries.

"Do you want to hold her?" The doctor asked softly, wanting to give us a chance to know our baby.

"It's a girl?" Bradley asked through tears, earning a nod from the doctor. That news only made him cry more.

We were finally handed a small pink blanket, and wrapped inside there you were. You were perfect, you were small, you were ours. The doctors and nurses let us be, they let us hold you until you were cold, and even after that we still held you, we sang to you, we told you how loved you were.

We told you about your grandfather, we decided that Goose probably would have been called Pop Pop and Carole would have probably been Grammy. We told you how excited they were to meet you even it was sooner then we would have liked. We told you about my dad, about how he was the greatest pilot of all time and how excited he was to meet you too, mom had already told me that he would have been called Nonno, our Italian running through our veins. We told you all about your grandfather’s time at top gun and how my dad was the best of them all (much to your dad's dismay)

We decided to name you Calla, meaning beautiful in Greek, because you were beautiful.

Eventually a soft knock on the door signaled to us that Mav was here, he had been like a father to both Bradley and I, especially since my father died last year.

He had clearly been crying since we called him. Taking the small pink blanket from Bradley he sat in a chair next to my bed and spoke softly to you, we stayed like that for a while, we wanted to make sure you knew how loved you were.

Eventually the doctor came in, with a sad look on her face we knew it was time to say goodbye to you. Your father and I both kissed you one last time before handing you off, and while your dad went outside to get some fresh air Mav crawled into the bed with me and held me while I cried over you, for you, about you. Listing all the things you were never gonna get to accomplish in life yet somehow you had already touched so many people.

Four days we stayed in the hospital, three of those days you stayed with us. We had barely slept and hadn't eaten much. I though having you was the hardest part, but coming home to the nursery you were never gonna get to use was way worse.

I'll admit we had jumped the gun a little when it came to your nursery the room almost completely done, walking over I set a soft hand on your crib, inside laid a small yellow onesie.

You were supposed to come home in that, you were supposed to do a lot of things. But you weren't ready for the outside world and we don't blame you, this world is scary.

And no matter where you ended up, there were gonna be people excited to see you.

Taglist!

@itscheybaby

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@daryldixonstorm

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@fxngsfxgxrty

[adoringhaikyuu]

they misinterpret your words during a fight and think you want to break up

characters: aone + kyoutani + oikawa + ushijima + (gn!reader)

request: hii can I request saying 'why am i even trying' in a fight n they take it wrong way, they thought u had enough of them but u just mean it like ' why r u even trying to argue' - kyotani, aone, ushi and oikawa... thank you ✨ • by @chibiiichann​

warnings: a lil angsty

notes: i was not sure how to title this well skfjhg + let’s just say everyone lives together in these

aone:

it wasn’t that he was trying to aggravate you

it’s just that he genuinely didn’t understand why you were upset and he was being dismissive without even realizing it

and that is what pushed you over

you were tired, you wanted to go to bed 

and you clearly weren’t getting anywhere, so you were ready to just drop it and go to sleep, hence why you said

“why am i even trying”

aone blinked a few times as he stared down at you, those five words sending a spike to his gut. you tried to move past him, not noticing the panic in his eyes, when he shot his arm out to stop you.

you looked up at him about to complain when you noticed the intense and glassy look in his eyes. he spoke up, his voice small. “please don’t.”

you sighed, “i just don’t see the point, nobu. i’m going––”

“no.” his voice was slightly louder and shaky. “please.” he stood in front of you and placed his hands on your arms as he looked into your eyes. “please don’t leave me.” 

you tilted your head, “leave y––” you shook your head, “baby, no i’m not–” you walked into his arms and he hugged you immediately, his arms holding you tight. “i’m not leaving you,” you looked up at him to find him already staring at you, holding his tears back. you placed a hand on his cheek and he nuzzled into your palm. “i was just going to bed because this argument wasn’t going anywhere. that’s why i said i don’t see the point.” 

he swallowed harshly and nodded. “oh.” 

you smiled sadly, “well now i can’t be mad at you anymore...” 

his hands squeezed your waist, “for what it’s worth...i’m sorry, y/n.” 

you leaned up for a kiss and he met you halfway. “let’s go to bed, okay?” 

he nodded but made no move to let go of you––so the two of you stood there for a while, just holding each other in silence.  

kyoutani:

you and kyoutani didn’t fight often...to be honest you rarely ever fought

but today...

both of you were really stressed out

you started arguing over something stupid, to be honest you couldn’t even remember what it was

it was just a way for you both to get out your frustrations in the end

but your voices started getting louder and you were getting in each other’s faces

and it became too much for you, it was just stressing you out even more

you needed fresh air

you rolled your eyes and stepped back, trying to shove past him. “you know what? why am i even trying here–”

before you could get far, kyoutani grabbed your arm, not forcefully, but enough to make you stop. you looked up and glared at him, surprised to see another emotion swirling in his eyes––sadness?

“you’re fucking joking right?” he never was good at talking through his emotions. 

you scowled, his tone not helping either of your moods at all. “let me go.”

he scowled right back. “no.” 

“kentaro.”

he raised a brow and stepped closer to you, “oh so we’re on a first name basis now? what, y/n?”

you clenched your jaw and looked him in the eye, taking a deep breath. “please just let me go.” your voice was small, defeated, you just needed space. 

his hand loosened but he didn’t let go completely, seemingly battling with himself in his mind. “no...i can’t. i won’t let you leave me.” 

so that’s why he was upset? 

you frowned up at him. “taro. i’m just going for some fresh air. i’m not leaving you.” 

he let go of you and stood straight, his lips parted. “oh.” he clenched his jaw and looked down, suddenly embarrassed by his reaction. you grabbed his hand and started walking towards the door. “what are you doing?”

you looked back at him, eyes no longer blazing, but instead, warm and loving. “we are going to get some fresh air. together.” 

he looked down, suddenly shy, but kept walking with you. “okay.”

oikawa:

oikawa had a bad day and he was more irritable than usual

tbh he was being kinda rude unintentionally

you were eating dinner across from each other and you were trying to talk about how your days were, not having spoken to each other much due to your busy schedules

but he wasn’t in the mood for talking and was just answering you with hums and giving you one word responses

after a while you got annoyed and honestly felt a little hurt

so you sighed and rolled your eyes, getting up from the table to go refill your water, mumbling to yourself more than anything

“why am i even trying”

it wasn’t until you said that that oikawa looked up from his plate, eyes wide, heart beating loudly in his chest. “wait what––”

you were already in the kitchen by the time he looked up and he urgently got out of his seat, almost knocking down his glass and you turned around at the clatter, surprised to see him basically speed-walking towards you. 

“oh now you pay attention to me?” you went to sip your water when he pulled it out of your hands and set it on the counter, ignoring your “hey!-” in protest. 

his eyes were frantic as he looked at you, “look baby i’m sorry i just i had a really shitty day today but––”

you sighed and looked to the side. “and i get that tooru, but that doesn’t give you the right to be a dick, i mean it feels like we haven’t had time to ourselves this week at all...”

he pouted and took your face into his hands, “i know baby and i’m sorry, i haven’t been trying as much as i could have been. but i promise i’ll do better, okay? i know i don’t deserve it but please tell me you’ll keep trying too?” his eyes were suddenly filled with tears and you looked at him in shock.

“hey–what’s wrong?” 

he pressed his forehead against yours and let out a shaky breath. “i just don’t want you to leave me––please don’t. i don’t know what i’d do without you––”

you pulled away as much as he’d let you to look into his eyes. “woah baby what––i’m not leaving you? sure i was frustrated, but i wasn’t going to break up with you.” 

his eyes widened, “really?”

you nodded. “really, tooru i promise.” just from the vulnerable look in his eyes you felt like you could cry as well. you kissed his cheek, “i’m not going anywhere.” 

he sighed, relieved and pulled you into a hug, mumbling his next words into your shoulder. “i love you.”

ushijima:

ushi could be really blunt and straightforward 

and sometimes had a tendency to brush things off, not understanding the big deal

today you were trying to get him understand something that happened at work, someone pissed you off and it really put you in a bad mood for the whole day

and ushi was always there to talk through things with you at night when you got home

but today, he really couldn’t see why you were upset––or rather, why you let it affect you so much, he didn’t see the point

and it felt like he wasn’t listening to you

(granted, you were a little strung up already)

you didn’t want to deal with people anymore so you brushed past him and went to take a shower, grumbling “why am i even trying”

as soon as you uttered those words, ushijima paused, unsure what to even think. you didn’t mean the relationship did you? surely, he thought about how you’d had a bad day, how you were frustrated and maybe you were just saying that in regards to your frustrations...but part of him wasn’t sure. you seemed rather annoyed during the conversation much to his disliking.

unfortunately, he wasn’t able to ask you about it because as soon as he turned around, you were already locked in the bathroom. he sat anxiously at the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped as he waited for you. you were taking your sweet time, no doubt relaxing and decompressing, which he understood, but it was only furthering his worry about the situation. 

it was a good while later that you’d finally gotten out of the shower, steam exiting the bathroom as you opened the door. you hadn’t even noticed ushijima sitting across from you as you got out, still focused on your thoughts, trying to calm down. 

you put your night shirt on along with some sweats, which was immediately a bad sign to him, you almost always slept in one of his shirts, and he loved that about you. 

only when you got on the bed did he speak up, clearly tense as he got your attention. “love...”

you turned and he swallowed thickly, suddenly nervous. “when you said...” he paused, looking down at his hands before looking into your eyes, clenching his jaw almost in pain. “are you giving up on us?” 

you frowned immediately, “what?”

“you...you said ‘why am i even trying’ and stormed off...did i do something? are you not happy?” 

your mouth dropped open in shock, the frustration coursing through your body now replaced with disbelief and sadness. you moved closer to him and put one hand on his cheek, the other other on his shoulder as you looked into his eyes. “what? baby no, i was just annoyed and our conversation wasn’t really helping but it wasn’t your fault! i just needed some time to think to myself, i’m sorry. this whole time you thought i wanted to end things?” 

he nodded once and your frown deepened. “baby i would never,” you paused and pulled him close for a sweet kiss. 

his hands came up to hold your waist and you melted into him, the kiss clearly soothing his worries. the look of relief and love in his eyes was clear as day when you pulled away to catch his eye. 

“i promise i am happiest with you. i’m not going anywhere, unless you were planning on leaving any time s––”

his hands gripped your waist tighter, a fierce look appearing in his eyes. “no. you’re it for me.” 

you smiled, feeling something burst in your chest and gave him another kiss. “i love you.” 

his hands made their way under your shirt and you hummed, pulling away to stop him. “baby i’m kinda tired today.”

he shook his head, a light blush on his cheeks . “i know. i just prefer when you wear my shirts.” 

you smiled and moved your hands away, “oh, okay. then go ahead.”

he smiled back, “thank you.”  

[ptergwen]

you know that one scene in ffh when people keep knocking on the door while fury is trying to speak to peter? could you maybe do something like that but instead it’s peter and stark reader wanting some alone time (you can make it smut or fluff idm!) also, i am so in love with your work it’s amazing :)❣️

knock before you enter

w/c: 1.3k

warnings: implied smut, dirty jokes, swearing

a/n: i went a lil overboard because i was having too much fun :,) and i kinda combined the two i hope that’s okay!

-

you let out a breath of relief as peter finally presses his lips to yours. he grins at that, his hands continuing to roam your body while you kiss. it’s a needy kiss, one you’ve been waiting the whole day to share.

you’d thought europe of all places would give you the opportunity to explore each other more. you’re away from your overbearing father, you don’t have team responsibilities. there was one mishap with a water monster nearly destroying the city. you both managed to fight it off together. tony was right to make you bring your suit, and may encouraged her nephew to do the same. the stark’s and parker’s think alike.

most of the pestering you’ve faced this trip has come from your teachers and fellow classmates. whether it’s mr. dell assigning work or flash trying to film you two for a livestream, you and peter can’t get a moment alone. that’s about to change. you’re in peter’s hotel room after a fun yet highly supervised day in venice.

most kids are getting ready for bed, at mr. harrington’s request. he’s adamant on everyone having a good night sleep before the walking tour you’re taking tomorrow. you and peter plan to do everything but sleep, however.

“you taste like toothpaste,” peter mumbles against your mouth, arms winding around your back. “is that a good or bad thing?” you giggle and tug at his undone curls. that elicits a high pitched whine from him. “depends on who you ask. me personally, i think it’s sexy.” he’s laying over you on his bed, your fingers tangling in his locks. “open up, then,” you practically purr. peter happily obliges and resumes his kissing.

right when his tongue glides over your lower lip, there’s a knock on the wall.

“i thought you said ned wouldn’t be back…” your words trail off when peter starts to kiss down your neck. “for a while,” you add, softer. “he won’t. last time i checked, he was with betty,” peter replies and effortlessly finds your sweet spot. he nudges it with his nose, making a smile spread across your face. “ok, keep going,” you pull on the roots of his hair gently. peter pecks at your lips. “gotcha, baby.”

he’s kissing his way back to your sweet spot when there’s more knocking, this time much louder. with quirked eyebrows, peter detaches his lips from your skin. “um… hello?” he hesitantly answers. “finally. i was ready to come kick down your door, you idiot,” mj speaks through the thin wall. you squeeze your eyes shut in annoyance, not saying anything. “what do you want, mj? it’s late,” peter sighs back.

“so what? i know you’re not sleeping,” mj insists, leaning against the wall. “i can hear everything. hey, y/n.” peter’s face tints a light shade of pink. you make wide eyes up at him. “hi, i guess. you good over there?” her lips form a line. “i was until the horrendous sounds of parker clapping your cheeks disturbed my reading.” peter grips at your waist with a pout.

“what? we weren’t- i- i didn’t-“ “spare me the details,” mj sharply cuts in, opening whatever mystery novel she recently bought. “i don’t care what you do, as long as you do it quietly. deal?” seeing as peter is too flustered to speak, you take over again. “yeah, sorry. we’ll tone it down. goodnight, em.” “ciao,” she says before returning to her book.

peter shakes his head, fully burying his face in your neck. “that was embarrassing. she’s so…” “nosy,” you finish for him. your fingers brush back some hair that flopped over his forehead. “at least she’s not telling on us or whatever.” he puffs air out of his cheeks, placing a kiss under your chin. “true. you wanna pick up where we left off?” “ugh, yes,” you instantly groan.

your lips are colliding with peter’s again, just like that. it isn’t for too long. his hands settle on your stomach and under your shorts, then you hear someone banging on the door. they talk before either you or peter can tell them to fuck off.

“y/n, is that you?” brad questions, your face twisting in confusion. “uh, yeah. how’d you know?” peter bites the inside of his cheek while brad converses. “i stopped by your room. betty said you might be here… with him.” the him in question is peter, who chuckles bitterly. “what’s up, buddy? we’re kind of in the middle of something. i’m sure you knew that, too.”

“i didn’t, but thanks for sharing,” brad sarcastically responds. “y/n said she’d give me her notes on one of the da vinci exhibits.” peter cocks his head to the side. “she did?” he wonders, looking over at you. “you did?” “it was either that or help him myself,” you explain and drag your fingers along the back of his neck soothingly. “the kid doesn’t leave me alone.”

peter nods, wrapping a protective arm around your middle. “she’ll give you them tomorrow, brad. isn’t it past your bedtime?” “point taken,” brad scoffs and heads back to his room. you draw peter in closer to you. “thanks, pete. hopefully, that’ll be our last guest for the night.” he kisses both your cheeks with a grin. “where were we, mio amore?”

“ooh, i love it when you speak italian,” you giggle, peter cupping your face in his hands.“grazie, bellissima.” he winks and earns a puzzled face from you. “bellissima?” “that means beautiful.” instead of responding with words, you use your mouth to move on his. peter happily kisses back and lets your tongues intertwine. things quickly heat up, peter slipping your shorts down your legs and you lifting his pajama shirt.

you’re both only half undressed and running off broken up kisses, but so desperate. you part your legs for peter, his fingers hooking in the waistband of your panties. “think you can keep your oath of silence?” he teases and nips at your covered collarbone. “the real question is, can you?” you challenge. peter doesn’t get the chance to answer because the door suddenly flies open.

there stands ned, his mouth agape at the sight of a shirtless peter undressing you. you’re the first to notice. you see over peter’s shoulder and gasp. concern covers his features. “what is it, baby? do you want-“ “ned!” you whisper yell. his concern becomes shock. “you want ned?” “no, peter! he’s right there!” teeth sinking into your lip, you point behind him. peter looks and surely enough, there’s his best friend rendered speechless in the doorway.

“dude, what the hell are you doing here?” peter squeaks, you grabbing your shorts from next to you. he turns around to shield you while you put them back on. “aren’t you supposed to be with betty?” “we, um, finished,” ned gulps in response. “finished what- oh.” peter scratches the back of his neck as it hits him. “yuck, ned. a gentleman never tells.” “says you! this is my room too, you know,” he defends himself, you moving out from behind peter.

“and betty’s room is also mine. consider us even,” you hand peter his t-shirt with a satisfied smirk. he murmurs a thank you and throws it back on. ned uncomfortably shifts from foot to foot in the doorway. “that’s fair… are you leaving now?” “i should before mr. harrington makes his rounds,” you reluctantly decide. “i liked it better when people actually knocked,” peter says under his breath, standing to give you a goodnight hug.

“it’s not even this bad at home. i’ll take my dad and friday spying on us over a walk of shame any day,” you exhale as peter pulls you into his chest. hugging back by his torso, you give him an innocent kiss on the cheek. his lips brush your forehead. “maybe we’ll have better luck tomorrow. should we try again, same time?” a familiar and irritated voice yells through the wall. mj.

“please god, no!”

[weirdos-am-i-right]

Fuck Traveling// Pete Davidson x reader

Request from @annalayton19

Hi! I’m a new follower and I really like your stuff! Could I request a Pete Davidson x reader (angst to fluff) where Pete is on tour or filming away from home and the reader is left behind. After like 6 months of being apart Pete starts to get tired of the long distance and basically like done with it. And then he realizes his mistake and comes home to make it up to her! I’m sorry if that’s super long! Also if this imagine doesn’t interest you, then no sweat! Thank you so much in advance 💕

A/n: This took so much less time then I thought it would. Anyway, here you go, I really hope you like it!

Warning: angst, swearing, like one cigarettes

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

Six months. Six months was an extremely long time to be away from someone you loved.

Y/n sat on the couch, a small pout on her lips. She looked at Pete—her boyfriend of a year—and frowned. “I wish I could go with you.” Pete frowns too, and sits down next to her.

“I know. I wish you were coming with me too. But hey, it’s only a couple of months, all right? I’ll be back before you know it.” He kissed her cheek.

“I just wish my contract would let me. You have no idea how annoying it is to not be able to do things because of freaking Marvel.” She groans, falling on her back with a slight ‘plop’.

“Well, because of freaking Marvel, you are one of the best actresses out there. And I know you’re going to kill it with filming. My tour isn’t even that cool. It’ll broke you to death.” He jokes, leaning back on the arm of the couch.

“Babe, you’re a comedian.”

“Oh right, I forgot.” He grabs her arm, and pulls her up into his chest. “I love you, okay?” He lifts her chin up, and kisses her. “So fucking much. We’ll face time everyday, I’ll call you every evening and wish you goodnight.”

“Okay.” She looked over a the clock, and sighed. “We have to go. Your flight is leaving soon.” He brushes hair behind her ear, bringing her eyes back to him.

“I love you. It’ll be over before you know it.”

“I love you, too.”

********

The car ride to the airport was long, and quiet. Pete was driving, he had one hand on the steering wheel, and one hand on Y/n’s leg, rubbing small circles into the center of her thigh.

She knew she was going to miss him so much, but she also knew she was going to be extremely busy with filming, so it wouldn’t be as bad.

Once they were at the gate, they tearfully hugged, and she kissed him. “All right, now get out of here. We’re not doing that rom-com turn back at the last second goodbye.” She laughed at him, tears steaming down her face a bit. He wiped one with his thumb, and kissed her again. “Love you. Now go, so I get to watch you walk away.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” She turns around, and starts walking back to her car. She knew he hated leaving her too, but he was a lot better at hiding emotions then she was, that was one of the only things she learned while dating him.

She got in her car, and put her head on her steering wheel.

She groans, and leans back. Starting her car, she pulled out of the airport, and drove home.

**********

The first few months were the worst. Y/n hated going to bed alone, the left side of the bed always cold.

She was filming almost every day, and seeing her co-workers and friends always cheered her up, after all she had been working with the same people for quite some time now, so she felt comfortable around them.

The fourth month was slowly becoming easier. She got use to coming home to no one there, and making dinner for herself. She still talked to Pete every day, texting him good morning, and Goodnight, and FaceTiming him a lot during the day.

Though she knew he loved her, she felt as though he was slightly pulling away. The FaceTime calls were short, and he never texted her back right away like he use to.

“And so, we we’re almost done with the shoot, so close I could practically taste the coffee in my trailer waiting for me, and then Kevin calls cut, and he makes us do the whole scene over again! I swear, I was about to strange that man. Ugh, I can’t wait til you come home. Only two more weeks, I can’t believe we made it.” Y/n rants, talking to Pete on the phone.

“Uh huh. Cool.” He wasn’t looking at her, instead his attention was somewhere else. Y/n frowns, tilting her head a bit.

“Pete…are, are you okay?” That seemed to catch his attention, and he finally looked at the screen.

“What? I’m fine.”

“Okay…you just seem so…different lately. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but you seem like you don’t have time for me anymore. Or if you do, you don’t like talking to me.” Pete scoffs.

“Of course I don’t have time for you right now. I’m in between shows, I’m driving to one as we speak. I mean, god forbid I get a minute to myself without my agents or you calling me.” Pete snapped.

“Wha-I’m just talking to you. If you didn’t want to, you could have said something.”

“That’s bullshit you would have thrown a fucking hissy fit or something.” He rolls his eyes.

“That’s not true. I understand when people are tired, believe me I would know.”

“Would you?”

“Yes!” She had tears stinging her eyes. “Of course I do, you’re forgetting what I do for a living. I work from 6 am to whenever we finish which most of the time is in the middle of the night. I have to re-do the same scene about ten times because RDJ won’t stop making jokes in the middle of the scene!”

“Oh, sorry, I forgot about your super-star actress life.”

“Why are you being so mean to me? I was only concerned about you.”

“Mean? What are you, five? I can’t-I can’t do this anymore.” She huffs, crossing her arms.

“What do you talking about? Are you breaking up with me?”

“Wh-”

“Because then fine. If you don’t want to be with me, I don’t have to take this shit. I’ll be with someone who, oh, I don’t know is actually here.”

“Oh that’s fucking rich, you know I can’t be there, don’t even do that.” She scoffs.

“I don’t care. You want to act like a petty bitch, I have no problem doing it right back.”

“No, I think you’re just a petty bitch.” She wipes her eye, and he laughs dryly. “Oh of course you’re crying.”

“Shut up. If you don’t want to be with me, fine. Go enjoy your show, Pete.” She hung up the phone, and turned off the ringer. She plugged it into her charger, and went into the bathroom, turning the shower on.

********

Pete rubbed his eyes, and took a drag of his cigarette. He knew he shouldn’t have snapped at her, it wasn’t her fault he was cranky, and needed to take it out on someone.

“I’m a dick.” He mumbles to himself, and bangs his steering wheel.

His phone rang again, and for a good second his heart leaping out of his chest, thinking it was his girlfriend, calling him back. He checked the phone, seeing it was Colson. He answered the call.

“What’s up, man?” Pete asks.

“The shows starting soon. You almost here?” Colson questioned. Pete looked at his google maps, seeing he was supposed to be there in ten minutes.

“I’m a good ten minutes away. I’ll be there.”

“You sound weird. What the fuck did you take without me?” Colson asks, trying to lighten the mood.

“Uh…Y/n and I just broke up. I think.” The line was silent for a few seconds.

“Why the fuck would you do that, you idiot? Are you kidding me?” Colson scoffs. “Man, what the fuck?”

“Shut up, man. I can’t stand talking on the phone with her. I’m busy, she’s busy, she plays a superhero for fuck’s sake. I didn’t even expect it to last this long to be honest.”

“Man, you fucking dumbass. That girl was probably the only good thing you had going for you. Get her the fuck back.I thought you loved her.”

“I did-I do. I do love her. I’m just so stressed right now, and excuse me for not wanting to hear about fucking Kevin Feige being a shitty director.”

“Hey, fuck-shit, you ever think that maybe this is more hard on her? Acting is fucking hard, you should know that, especially for a company like Marvel.

“Man, who’s side are you on?” Pete turns into the parking lot, and grabs his phone.

“You think I’m on your side here? You’re forgetting that we were friends before I met you. I can not believe you just fucked up the best thing in your life. Fix it, man. You’re going home in a week, fucking fix it.” And with that, Colson hung up, and put his phone away.

He kicked a rock across the pavement, and cursed under his breathe.

********

The worst thing about breaking up with someone you live with, who so happens to be long-distance is that their stuff fills the apartment with an existential amount of regret.

Y/n laid on her couch, flipping through the channels of the TV. She had called off work for the next few days, not feeling up to put on a performance for anyone. She knew she would get shit for it later, but she didn’t care.

Her head perked up when there was a knock on the door. She sighed, and got up, going over to the door. She really didn’t feel like company at the moment, and was sure she was going to send away whoever it was.

When she opened the door, her breathe caught in her throat. Pete stood in the doorway, looming over her. He looked like shit. She could tell he hadn’t slept, and probably didn’t eat anything, but she knew he didn’t look much better.

“Why-why didn’t you use your key?” Y/n asks, opening the door a bit for him.

“I uh, didn’t want to barge in on you. You also probably weren’t expecting me.”

“I wasn’t. I thought you didn’t get back until next week.” She says. It took every ounce of her not to jump into his arms, and kiss his face until she was sure she kissed every part of it.

“I took off early. Can we talk? Please. I was a dick. I was such a dick. I’m sorry, I know we grew apart in the last few months, and I promised we wouldn’t but we did, and I’m so sorry for that, baby.” He grabs her hand, and she slightly pulls it back, but let’s him grab it. “Please, forgive me. I love you, so much, okay? So fucking much, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me.”

She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and she looked away from him. “What you said really hurt.”

“I know. And I’ll spend every day trying to make it up to you.” She quickly wrapped her arms around him, pushing her face into his chest. He didn’t hesitate to hug her back, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Fuck traveling.”

“Fuck traveling.”

.

[navalcriminalimagines]

Hi!! It's me AGAIN! 😝 May I request "OH, you're jealous!" with Gibbs? I love jealous Gibbs so much!! 🤭👀❤️

I love writing jealous!Gibbs!! Thank you for your request! This took an unexpected turn, I hope you'll like it! 👀❤️

Warnings: smut, dom!Gibbs, blowjob

Tags: @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

Oh, you're jealous

You met Leroy Jethro Gibbs a couple of years ago. You had just started as an FBI Agent, and you were Tobias Fornell's partner. The case with NCIS was your first interagencies encounter, and not on your life would you have thought about meeting the most amazing man.

But you did and you spent the next year hoping something would happen with him. Every time you heard about NCIS through a case, you made sure to be involved. It's only after Diane's wedding with Victor that things finally took the turn you were waiting for.

Tobias had a hard time seeing his ex-wife and mother of his daughter getting married again, especially after he learnt that she had cheated on him with that Victor. After the wedding, you invited him for drinks but he told you he already planned on getting at Gibbs's house and he told you to join.

You did, and by the end of the night, Gibbs and you were making out in his basement while Tobias had passed out upstairs on the couch.

That was a year ago and since then, your relationship with Gibbs has been amazing. Unfortunately, you don't see each other as much as you'd liked to. You're both committed to your jobs and you knew about your boyfriend's past. You don't want to pressure him into anything, it may scare him away.

There are actually good sides of not seeing each other much; when you and Gibbs manage to get together, you just enjoy one another's company and there are no fights. What would you two argue about anyway?

You can't say you and him are clearly dating, since you never used that word and actually, you never talked about what the relationship is and where it's going. Eventually, you'll have the talk, but not for now. You don't want to ruin it by asking it to be serious or planning a future.

Finally, a new joined case came in. Gibbs called Tobias and quickly, you two were driving to the NCIS headquarters.

Of course, Gibbs's team doesn't know anything about whatever is going on between you two. To be fair, Tobias was suspicious, but you - or Gibbs - never told him anything.

When you arrive in the bullpen, you can see Tony DiNozzo's face lighten up. He greets you with a huge smile, clearly avoiding Tobias. "Y/N, it's nice to see you again! This case just became very interesting," he winks at you and you chuckle. Tony has been very flirty with you for the beginning, and if you hadn't had a crush on Gibbs at the very first second, you probably would've hooked up with the Very Special Agent.

"Nice to see you too, Tony. I like working with you, guys," you smile and your eyes finally settle on your 'boyfriend', sitting at his desk, already talking with Tobias. He doesn't greet you at all, instead he just asks his team to do a sit-rep.

As you're staring at the screen and listening to McGee, you can feel Tony's body on your left and Gibbs's on your right. Gibbs's fingers are gently brushing yours and you can feel shivers running down your spin.

"You cold, Y/N?" Tony whispers in your ear. "Want my sweater?" he offers and before he knows it, a hand slaps the back of his head. "I'm just being nice, boss," he complains. Boss doesn't answer.

Tim finishes the sit-rep, and orders are given. Of course, Gibbs asks you to be with him and the two of you are on your way down to Autopsy. As soon as the elevator's doors close, Gibbs's mouth is all over you.

"Hey," he finally greets you.

"Took you long enough," you say between two kisses. He smiles against your mouth, ready to kiss you one more time but the ride is over and the doors open.

After that stop in Autopsy, Ziva tells Gibbs that the BOLO they sent gave results and they need to get going. He tells her to go with Fornell. As you need to check a few things in the FBI database, you settle at an empty desk with your laptop and get into work.

Quickly, you notice someone putting a coffee next to you, "Latte, two sugars, am I right?" Tony asks.

"Wow, no one brings me my coffee at the FBI. I'm gonna need Fornell to steal you," you smile at the Agent.

"I'd rather have you joining us. I'm sure Gibbs would be okay," he says. "Although, if I break rule 12 again, I'm a dead man,"

"Wait!" you think for a moment, "Rule 12 is--never date a coworker, right?" Tony nods. "Very presumptuous of you, Tony DiNozzo," you grin at him.

Not that you enjoy flirting with DiNozzo - even if it feels nice that a handsome man like him is hitting on you - but you can see Gibbs's pissed off face in the corner of your eye and you do enjoy that. "Well," as he's practically sitting on 'your' desk, Tony leans over you and whispers, so no one can hear, "You're pretty, I'm pretty. We can make pretty good things together, don't you think?"

You only have time to softly laugh, since Gibbs got up and headslaps DiNozzo again. "Quit flirting at work, got it, boss,"

You watch Gibbs walking to the elevator while Tony puts his hair back in place, "We'll continue this tonight, if you want to join us? We're celebrating Ziva's citizenship at a bar,"

"I'd love that,"

Gibbs comes back half an hour later with a fresh coffee. You can see on his face he’s clearly pissed but you decide not to do anything about it for now.

* * * * *

The rest of the day went smoothly. There was no big breakthrough in the case, for a moment you thought that the celebration might be canceled. But to everyone’s surprise, Gibbs and Fornell decide to call it a night. “We won’t be able to get anything done before tomorrow morning anyway,” Fornell says.

The NCIS team didn’t need much to start packing their things. As you’re putting your laptop in your bag, Abby, Jimmy and Ducky appear in the bullpen, “Celebration night!” Abby exclaims, “Gibbs, Fornell, you’re joining?”

“What are we celebrating?” Your boss asks.

“Ziva David, being officially a citizen of the United States of America!” Jimmy explains, wrapping his arm around Ziva’s shoulders.

Fornell looks over his shoulder, down to Gibbs. “You going?”

“Pass,”

Then, Fornell puts his eyes on you, “You?”

“Yup, Tony offered me to join. If anyone minds,”

“Of course not!” Abby happily grabs your arm and walks you to the elevator. You don’t have time to give one last look at Gibbs, as you’re all taking off to the bar.

Only Fornell and Gibbs remain in the bullpen. “You sure you don’t want to keep an eye on DiNozzo?” Fornell teases his best friend.

“Fornell, if you want to go, just--leave,”

“Fine, I’ll protect her myself,” he says, “Unless I get too drunk and don’t see them sneaking out to the bathroom,”

Gibbs growls before standing up, “I hate you,”

* * * * *

At the bar, you and the team got into a booth in the back. Of course, Tony made sure to be right next to you and Abby was on your other side. You all ordered your drinks and when the waiter brought them, you toasted, “To Ziva!” everyone says.

You have barely swallowed the first sip of the Champagne when you see Gibbs and Fornell entering the bar. Abby sees them too and calls their names. “I don’t know what you told him, Fornell, but I’m so glad to convince him to come,” Ziva confesses. It really means a lot to her that all of her team - her other family - is here to celebrate.

Even if he joined, Gibbs is being himself and doesn’t talk much with anyone, except some quick exchanges with Ducky. He’s sitting across the table from you, and you can see his eyes darkening as Tony whispers something in your ear that makes you giggle. He drinks his second bourbon in one swallow and goes to the counter to order another one. You excuse yourself to Tony, and join Gibbs.

“You okay?” you ask him, innocently.

“Perfect,” he mutters.

“Wanna spend the night at my place, tonight?” you whisper in his ears, gently nipping his lobe.

“Why don’t you ask DiNozzo?” he answers.

"Oh, you're jealous!" you exclaim with a chuckle, as the bartender puts the glass in front of Gibbs. His hand grips on the glass hard, his knuckles are turning white.

“Why would I be jealous? We’re not dating,”

This sends you off, you bit your bottom lip to avoid shouting in the middle of a bar. You take one deep breath to remain calm and answer, “Of course. I wonder what you’ve been doing for the past year, if not dating,”

Even with the dim light, Gibbs can see your cheeks turning red from anger. He shouldn’t have said this, because obviously, he has strong and deep feelings for you, but he hates to admit that he’s indeed...jealous. “Maybe I’ll indeed ask DiNozzo. Or maybe I’ll ask a stranger. Or--Or maybe, I’ll ask DiNozzo and a stranger,”

You’re about to leave him here when he grabs your wrist, ever so gently. You can see that his face had softened a bit. Then his hand moves from your wrist to your hand and his fingers intertwine with yours. Gibbs starts to walk away, taking you with him. He doesn’t say a word until he reaches his car. He opens the door for you, “Are we really sneaking out?” you ask.

“Just get in,” he orders, along with smack on your ass.

This gesture sends something right down to your core. You smile and get in his truck, shortly followed by him.

The parking lot is dark, the car is only facing trees and bushes. But you don’t have time to overthink what’s going on, as Gibbs’s lips crash on yours. He immediately asks for access with his tongue, which you happily grant him. One of his hands gets under your top, feeling your skin under his fingers. It keeps getting higher, until he cups one of your breasts and squeezes. You moan in his mouth, and your nails scratch on his scalp. He growls at the feeling, and quickly grabs your hips to make you sit on his lap. “You seriously want to do this in the car?” you ask, but it seems obvious as you can feel him getting hard.

“I want you to make yourself forgiven,”

His blue eyes are dark with lust. You know exactly what that means. You haven’t experienced the dominant side of Gibbs yet and god, is it turning you on. You can feel yourself getting soaking wet in your panties. You approach your lips to his to kiss him again but he only lets them brush. “Your mouth should be busy somewhere else,” he says.

“Yes, sir,” you agree and work on his belt.

You don’t know if he’s ever done something like this before, but his painful erection lets you know how turned on he is. You give him a few strokes, feeling some precum on your hand. He groans under your touch and then, you bend your head over to lick the head of his cock, tasting him. “Fuck!” he mutters. You play with the head for a moment before taking him inside your mouth.

As you blow him, Gibbs has one arm stretching over the seat and his other hand is settled in the back of your neck, guiding you. You can feel him grabbing your hair into his fist from time to time. “You’re so good at this, sweetheart,” he praises you and you hum in response, with his cock still inside your mouth. It sends shivers down his spine, and he bucks his hips, making his length go as deep as possible inside your throat. When he hits the back of your throat, Gibbs lets out such a huge moan, people in the bar may have heard him.

“Who does this mouth belong to?”

You relish him briefly, “You.” you answer.

“Good girl,” he growls. “Now, make me cum in that pretty mouth of yours,”

You go back to your oral ministrations and quickly, Gibbs is coming inside your mouth, shooting his load inside your throat, as your name leaves his lips in the most erotic sound you’ve ever heard. You couldn’t be any more turned on at this very moment. As he’s catching his breath, you make a big show of swallowing every drop of him.

Finally, he grabs the back of your neck a bit roughly to make you kiss him. He can taste himself on you and from the sound you’re making, he understands that you love that side of him. “I’m not done with you,” he says, brushing his lips against yours. “We’re going back inside, like nothing happened, but if you keep flirting with DiNozzo, or anyone else, I’ll deny you for such a long moment, you’ll beg me to shot you,”

You may be crazy, but this makes you want to piss him off a little more.

[superfics-forone]

Just Friends

SUMMARY: Sam asks the group who they think are the “hottest” members of the team. You don’t make the cute for Bucky’s top five.

Bucky x TALL!Reader

W/C: 5,800

WARNINGS: angst, swearing (like two f bombs), cannon level violence, Bucky being an idiot (it’s a warning), physical insecurities, fake science

A/N: I wrote this because the top 5 situation actually happened to me IRL and when you don’t make someone you like’s list, it sucks. Also, this is in no way meant as being against people who are smaller! I am just a tall/plus size woman and sometimes that really makes you feel like you’re unattractive to people because you don’t fit the gender norm. Let me know what you think! I’m pretty new at this so I’d appreciate the feedback!

Also, HUGE shout out to @princessmisery666 for being so patient and supportive! Thank you for being my beta! Your comments were so incredibly helpful!

The best part about working with Bucky was that you got to see him everyday. The worst part was that you were constantly reminded that he wasn’t attracted to you.

You knew you were a good looking woman, people would often tell you that. It usually happened when you weren’t necessarily feeling your prettiest. Somehow that made it worse. Others would compliment you but he never would. Even when you knew you looked good- like you had put in extra effort and actually tried that day- still he would give you nothing.

You sat across from him in the common room looking at all the other Avengers wondering why he didn’t feel the same when you finally got your answer.

“Alright man,” Sam called out to the group. “Top five, let’s go.”

“Top five?” asked Clint, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. “Top five what?”

Everyone looked back to Sam, - “Top five on who you think is lookin’ most fine”.

“You want us to rate each other?” You asked incredulously.

“Naw, man!” Sam replied. “I want to know who you think are the top five most attractive! Male and female!”

You slunk back into the sofa, both curious and terrified of the conversation to come.

You heard huffs from the others but no one objected. Vision went first and of course he could only answer with; “I believe all of you are inherently lovely. I couldn’t possibly pick a top five of those who I find to be most attractive.” As soon as he finished and the room was no longer focused on him though he leaned over to Wanda and said something in her ear that made her blush.

You brought your cup up to your lips to hide your smile. You loved how happy they were after having been through so much heartbreak.

Sam went next, “Imma say, Wanda, Nat, Gamora’s got it goin’ on…for an alien…Hill - don’t tell her I said that- and…Y/N,” he said throwing you a wink.

You smiled but shook your head with a roll of your eyes. You knew the only reason he said your name was because you were in the room. He was trying to be kind. Men didn’t seem to be actively lining up to be with you…it might have something to do with them being intimidated by you being an Avenger but who could possibly know

“Sam you would think anything with legs that gave you the time of day was hot,” Bucky shot.

The others laughed but Sam shot back, “alright, Tin Man, who’s on your list? Okoye?”

“Yeah for one! I would be dead before I could make a move but sure! She’s dangerous and stunning!” He took a swig of bourbon as if he was done.

“Alright then who else?” Wanda leaned forward winking at you.

You shot her a warning look. You had only told her how you felt about Bucky once on a drunken night after finding out he had gone on date with another recruit. Jealousy had reared its ugly head and she could feel your angst that night. You had asked Wanda how; “A tiny little thing that would barely hold her own in the ring,” could possibly catch his eye. It was as if the only thing he saw you as was an ear to listen to his problems and a soldier he could rely on in the field. You had seen them together multiple times since then and every time it pained you more.

She was everything you weren’t. Barely five foot, two inches tall with a skinny frame to match, and a nicely formed backside. In reality you couldn’t be mad at Bucky. He deserved to be happy. He was your friend and you wanted that for him. You just wanted that particular happiness too.

“Okay, okay!” Bucky’s hands came up in surrender as he finished his drink and leaned back to think, He sat so close to you his left bicep of his folded arms brushed yours with every breath he took.“Okoye? Sure…uh… in no particular order…Wanda, Nat, Darcy, and the little woman, Kris, from reception.”

“It seems, Mr. Barnes”, said Vision, “that you prefer mates who are significantly smaller than you. I do believe that of that group, Wanda is the tallest one.”

“Which isn’t really saying much because I’m only five, six”, she complained.

“The perfect height my dear.” Wanda smiled at that and kissed Vision’s cheek .

You took another long sip of your drink as you registered what had been said. Your stomach soured as you finished the glass. Not so much from the alcohol as from the realization that the man who you had secretly been pinning over didn’t even list you as attractive enough to make his top five.

You felt like you knew why. It was just too much. You weren’t small and dainty like those on his list. You had big bones and a can do attitude. You wouldn’t take crap from people. And because you were so tall you could come off as intimidating…or so some men had told you.

“I’m going to get another drink,” You whispered to no one in particular.

But Sam really couldn’t read a room and he called you out. “No, no! Who’s on your list Y/N?”

“Oh no!” You said dryly. “I’d have to be much drunker for that conversation. For now, I'll keep my opinions to myself.”

You spotted Bucky’s surprised face before you made your way over to the bar. The conversation carried on behind you as you refilled your glass. Thoughts of Bucky’s revelation clouding your mind. You were never going to be good enough for him because you were just too big. Too tall. Too much. He liked the smallest, most petite women in the compound. Feeling your emotions swelling,you decided to grab the bottle and made your way quietly out of the room while the ruckus continued.

Once on your floor you closed the door behind you with a forceful slam, “FRIDAY!! Lock the door and don’t open it for anyone!!”

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N.”

The rest of the night was spent on the floor in your sweats drinking from your bottle of whiskey and feeling sorry for yourself and all the things you couldn’t be because of biology.

You weren’t sure if it was a drunken stupor or your imagination but at one point you could have sworn you heard a knock only for it to go away just as quickly.

…

The next day you had an awful hangover and didn’t get out of bed. Bucky came to your door for your normal morning run.

“Tell him I’m not going, Friday.”

“He would like to know why, Miss.”

“Tell him it’s my time of the month.”

“Your time of the month was last week, Miss.”

“Who’s side are you on, Friday? Just tell him I’m sick.”

“Very well, Miss.”

It was silent for a few moments and you had thought that would be enough to get Bucky off your back for now.

“Mr. Barnes would like to know if you’d like to see Dr. Cho, Miss.”

“Uuuugggghhhh,” you rolled out of bed and marched over, irritated that the one person you didn’t want to see was at your door.Pulling it open with a huff you practically screamed. “What?!?”

“Woah!” Bucky jumped back startled at your disheveled appearance and puffy eyes. “I just want to make sure you’re alright, doll. You didn’t come back last night and you never answered the door when I came to check on you.”

So there was a knock last night.

You couldn’t look him in the eye as your eyes filled with tears again, this time with shame. “I’m fine, Bucky.” You started shutting the door quickly and he stuck his hand on it preventing you from closing it again.

“Y/N…what’s…”

“Bucky, I just need some rest okay?” You cut him off, “I’m fine. I promise I’ll be right as rain tomorrow.” You smiled weakly.

Bucky searched your face as if trying to find what you weren’t telling him in your eyes. But you were an Avenger and you knew how to school your features to show nothing.

Bucky sighed and shook his head, “alright, doll. I’m here if you want to talk about anything.”

“Yes, fine,” you said pushing him out the door. Your eyes had flooded with tears again. You didn’t look up to see Bucky’s hurt and concerned face as you closed the door again and put your back to it.

You held your breath listening for his footsteps to retreat before sinking to the floor and crying.

…

The next day was an all out avoid Bucky day. You weren’t sure you could take the questions and worried looks he was sure to give you. Instead, you decided that what you needed was time away from such temptation. And so, you went in to ask Steve for an overseas long assignment.

“You sure about this one, Y/N. It’s a 9 month solo mission. It’s going to be long and it’s going to be lonely.”

“Yes. I’m sure. I need some time to myself.”

Steve looked at you with understanding and pity. He could see how you felt about Bucky even if he couldn’t get his best friend to see it as well.

“Alright,” he said, “suit up. You leave in 2 hours.”

South Africa wasn’t the worst assignment. It wouldn’t take long for you to get the information you needed. And the separation from Bucky would be good for you.

You finished checking your last weapon and loaded it as well as a pair of throwing knives, a gift from Bucky, into your duffle before looking around your room one more time.

You headed to the door and almost made it out until the picture of you and Bucky on your dresser made you stop. Picking it up you smiled at the memory of the minor league baseball game you’d attended together. You had won tickets and no one else was available that night. When you’d offered the tickets to Bucky you couldn’t believe that he said yes! It was the true start of your friendship, talking about life and how much it had changed for him but also how little it had changed for you. He couldn’t believe it when you started singing all the words to “I’ll never smile again”.

“You think I don’t know music? I’m quite cultured, Mr. Barnes!” You had said with a laugh.

“I never said you weren’t, sweetheart!”

Coming back out of your revelry with a start you put the picture back down on the dresser and turned to the door. You were going to get over this infatuation, even if it killed you. Supposedly time heals all wounds. Well you weren’t sure if there was ever going to be enough time but you could get distance.

…

Hours later Bucky came in to tell you about the relationship problems he was having with the girl from reception. She just didn’t seem to understand him and kept picking fights. You had become his confidant and had saved his relationship once before so would most likely be able to do it again.

He was almost to your room when he noticed your door was ajar. Slowing he moved closer and pushed it in silently. The room was neat and quiet. Your bed folded nicely as though it was always that way.

Bucky knew that you never made your bed until you were right about to get in it. Or unless you were going on a trip.

Checking carefully he started to notice things missing. Your favorite slippers were gone. Your tooth brush and favorite stuffed animal turtle were also missing. All of the things that you felt you had to have with you were gone.

Then he saw the picture frame on the dresser. Picking it up he too smiled at the memory, then frowned. It was still here. You almost always took this with you. Why was it still here but everything else you held of value was gone.

“Friday, where is Y/N?”

“Miss Y/L/N has volunteered for a mission, sir.”

“Where?”

“That information is classified.”

“Okay, when will she be back?”

“That information is classified.”

“Alright, who else went on the mission,” he asked hoping whoever it was would have your back.

“All other Avengers are currently in the compound.”

“So she went by herself?” Bucky fumed.

“That information is classified.”

“Damn robots!”

Bucky stormed out and found Steve in the kitchen.

“Where did you send her, punk!

Steve didn’t even look up from his newspaper, knowing exactly what his best friend was talking about.

“She’ll be fine, Buck. She just needs some time to herself.”

“So send her to Fiji! Not a solo mission!!”

“This is her call Bucky. You’ve got to trust her.”

Bucky spun on his heel and headed to the computer lab. He knew he was being irrational but if no one else was going to look after your well-being then he was going to have to do it himself.

It took him all day but he finally unencrypted the files for your mission. You were to carry out a recon mission in Port Elizabeth on a supposed Hydra base. It was a far cry from Fiji but you wouldn’t be in immediate danger.

Still he came in everyday to check in on your reports and find out how the events in the country were progressing. He had even convinced Torres to help him set up notifications to his phone if something were to go wrong. He had, very nicely, threatened him with knives if he didn’t set up Stark’s satellite to keep an eye on you.

After three weeks he was really starting to miss your company. Every time he went out with Kris from reception he realized that she just wasn’t as interesting as you. They didn’t have the same camaraderie and chemistry as the two of you did.

So when his phone dinged at 2:30am he looked at the notification. It was a satellite image of you on your apartment porch drinking coffee. You seemed at ease and calm at your small table. Your hair down and wearing a long red dress. He went to the live feed of the satellite but when he did you weren’t there.

Bucky refreshed the page again thinking it may be just an error. But his rising heartbeat made him think differently. When the screen came back he noticed the upturned coffee mug and the newspapers on the ground.

Bucky flew from his bed and raced down the hall to the command room. Steve and Tony were already there, still in their pajamas.

“…it’s not as if she has a tracker in her, Stark!”

“Well maybe she should! Maybe we should make it a standard issue! Everyone gets a tracker! Friday! Make a note!”

“Yes sir.” replied the AI.

“Tony, we need to focus on the…”

“Where is she?!” Bucky growled.

Both men turned around in surprise. Steve recovered first, his eyes sympathetic for his friend’s worry. “We’re not sure, Buck. These images were only taken 4 hours ago.” He clicked to zoom in closer, “but we did get this.”

He zoomed all the way into the kitchen window behind where you’d sat drinking coffee, where a face reflected in the glass. Bucky looked on in rage, hands in tight fists, as the image became clearer and Zemo came into focus.

…

You awoke with a start, unaware of your surroundings. You sat on a bed in a bare room with a single one way mirror. A metal chair sat by the wall and you noticed no handle on the door. Trying to piece together what had happened you recalled your last memory.

A beautiful morning, the sun shining on the water, a freshly brewed cup of coffee. You sat in your apartment in Port Elizabeth, a pain in your neck…

“Zemo,” you whispered.

“Ah, you’re awake,” said the speaker above you. “I’m sorry about the dramatics but it was necessary. You’re a very important piece of the puzzle.”

“Let me guess,” you said as you rolled your eyes. “You don’t like the way the world is being saved by the Avengers and you think you could do better.”

“Actually I want something else, мой дорогой. I need you.”

“What?” you cried befuddled. “Why on earth would you need me?”

“Do you know what TX-39 is?”

“Yes, I have an entire codex of arbitrary numbers logged away in my brain,” you retorted.

Zemo didn’t pause at your sarcasm. “TX-39 is the compound used to create nucleotides that bond onto nerve endings. By doing so they suspend brain signals stopping all neuro function and rendering the subject immoble. Something you have experienced first hand. By combining a nanotech inhibitor with this nerve ending your subject’s direct motor function is now open to...suggestions.”

You sat astounded as you registered what he had told you. You looked down at your hands but you didn’t feel different. There was no way something like this could work.

“What better way to get rid of a super soldier than to create your own?” Zemo said. You felt a slight buzz in your spine as you stood up quickly trying to resist. Running to the mirror you pulled back your arm, ready to punch your way out, but an inch from the glass your arm stopped. “Ironic that the Soldat will come to save you, only to be the one who needs to be saved.” With that you felt the electricity in your spine disappear and your body was your own again.

Frustration built within you as you sat back on the bed for a moment processing his statement. Your face became more and more incredulous until finally you burst out laughing. You continued laughing harder and harder at the absurdity of Zemo’s reasoning.

“You think I’m the one he is going to come after,” you laughed. “You think you picked the right mouse for your trap? You’re going to wait a long time if you think he’s going to come and get me.”

During your first few weeks away you had missed Bucky fiercely. Leaving him behind so abruptly had felt like severing a part of yourself, but the last few weeks had been good for you. You had forgotten what it was like to rely on yourself. You had grown into yourself again and had realized how little Bucky had actually cared for you when he never came to find you. He hadn’t so much as picked up the phone after you had left. It was as if you had never existed in the first place.

“Bucky doesn’t care about me,” you said sardonically. “He never has. We are barely even friends.You picked the wrong mouse, Zemo. ”

“We’ll see, дорогой,” and with a click he was gone.

Your brain shifted in and out of the conversation with Zemo. Looking down at your hands, you prayed it wasn’t true. You knew that what had happened at the window was real but you didn’t want to believe it. You had been turned into a weapon to hurt your friends. To hurt Bucky.

Crossing your arms over your chest you laid down on the bed, rolled over to face the wall, and cried.

…

Avengers Compound

“There is a five mile radius around Agent Y/L/N last known location,” said Fury. “Two man teams will sweep the area in a grid formation while the drones scan for energy signatures. Any questions?”

All those around the table sat silent, but nodded confirmation of their understanding of the objective. Fury looked around the room, “This mother fucker took one of ours and I wanna know why. Let’s get going.”

Bucky stood up from the table and made his way out of the room to the Quinjet hangar. Steve pulled on his arm before entering the plane. “I know what’s going through your mind right now Buck, but we are going to get her back”.

Bucky looked at the ground before raising his eyes to his friend. “He knew how to get to me, Steve. He always knows where to hurt me. He couldn’t use you. You’re too difficult to overpower. So he had to pick her. I just,” Bucky wasn’t sure how to finish his thought. Words never came easily to him and he wasn’t sure he could really express what he was feeling. “I just want her safe.”

After you had left Bucky felt hollow inside. He hadn’t realized how much joy you brought to his day with your smiles and jokes. Always knowing what to say, or at least, what he needed to hear. Your departure made him realize he needed you. Boarding the jet Bucky knew that no matter what happened he was going to tell you how he felt.

…

The team had been sweeping through the city for what felt like hours and there still hadn’t been any developments. Walking through another alleyway Bucky scanned the cobblestone streets. He was beginning to lose hope at ever finding you at all when he saw an uneven line in between two buildings.

Pressing his comm link he called out, “Steve, I’ve got something. I’m going to check it out.”

“Bucky, wait for backup. We’ll come to you.”

Feeling along the wall Bucky felt a draft between the cracks. Unholstering the gun at his hip he pushed against the wall feeling it give way.

“I’m going in. Follow my location.”

“Bucky, wait!” Steve called.

Bucky ignored his calls and continued down the dimly lit hall. The walls opened up to a staircase leading down to a command room. The musky scent of decay and scotch filled Bucky’s nostrils.

“Privet, Soldat,” Zemo called from the darkness.

Bucky whirled around to find nothing.

“Have you come for your little mouse?”

Still searching, Bucky said nothing as the sound came from a different corner of the room.

“Have you realized how much you miss her?”

Bucky circled again, coming up to a window.

“I wonder what it is? Is it her sweetness that draws you? Or her willingness to see you for more than the killer you are?”

Bucky frowned. Zemo was playing with him.

“Or have you realized that her fire is what draws you to her? She does have a talented tongue. I’ve seen her put it to good use,” Zemo provoked. “I have enjoyed having her in my company, but it seems you really never appreciated her spirit, did you?”

Bucky continued searching the room as Zemo continued his monologue. Coming up to the computer he saw a paused video feed. It played as soon as he stepped forward.

Bucky saw you in a room, still in your red sundress. Your hair was matted and you had the look in your eye of anger and exasperation. When you spoke, Bucky felt the wind rush out of his lungs.

“Bucky doesn’t care about me,” you said sardonically. “He never has. We are barely even friends.”

“A pity she never saw you care, but I suppose it’s only fair that you tell her now.”

The door beside the window clicked open with a beep. You came out of the cell with a look of wary surprise on your face. “Bucky?”

“Now is your moment, Sergeant Barnes. Why not tell her how you feel before it's too late,” called Zemo.

Bucky holstered his gun and walked toward you. “Y/N? Are you okay? Come on, let's get out of here.”

He grabbed your hand and turned to go but you were rooted to the spot. Your breathing became heavy as you felt the tingling sensation in your spine again.

“Bucky, I need you to leave,” you cried, dread dripping from your voice.

“What? No,sweetheart, come on! I’m not leaving you.”

“Bucky, I…” you started.

“Last chance to declare yourself, Soldat.”

Looking up in anger, Bucky yelled. “Shut up, Zemo. I’m not performing for you-” Bucky’s head turned in surprise as you punched him across the face. “What the hell, Y/N?”

“It wasn’t me!” you cried as you dropped and kicked his legs out from under him.

Bucky rolled over quickly to pick himself up as you followed him swinging punches at his head and kicks to his stomach. Your moves were both erratic and efficient as they landed multiple times. It was all Bucky could do to block your assault and move out of the way.

“This isn’t me!” you cried again between punches. “Zemo is controlling me with nanotech!”

Bucky threw up an arm to block your punch before flipping you around by your arm and pressing you to the wall. He didn’t want to hurt you but he was pretty sure that it wasn’t the most comfortable position.

“It’s okay, Y/N. We’re going to get you out of this.”

Your foot kicked his leg and you pushed yourself over and around his head and away from the wall. Grabbing the knife at his hip as you slipped out of his grip, you threw it into his thigh.

Bucky looked at you in surprise and annoyance. “Sorry!” you winced. Pulling the knife from his leg he tossed it to the floor.

“Look, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere, but try not to kill me, okay?”

“It’s not like I’m doing this on purpose Bucky!” you huffed as you charged at him.

“Well I’m just trying to get you out of the problem you put yourself in!” You had grabbed another knife and went to stab him. Bucky caught the knife and twisted your hand but the knife snagged your dress and tore the skirt as you fought to wrestle it away.

Your eyes flared with anger and the next punch you threw had a little extra heft in it.

“That I put myself in? How about you, Mr. Barge-into-a-room-with-no-back-up!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you liked being saved! Although you’re one to talk! You came on a mission without backup!” Bucky rolled across the computer console out of the way of your next kick, getting agitated at your attitude.

“Because I needed space!” you yelled as you followed him around the computer desk.

“Space? Space from what?” Bucky yelled back, actually throwing a punch that you easily evaded.

“You! You idiot!” it burst out of you as you came up swinging before pushing him to the ground.

Bucky looked up at you with his eyes wide. You had him straddled under your legs. Bucky brought his arms up to block your punches while he tried to talk to you.

“Why would you need space from me? I don’t understand. You left without warning, without saying goodbye! Your mission was classified so I had to hack F.R.I.D.A.Y to even find out where you were!”

Your body was starting to fatigue from the strain of the fight as you continued to land blow after blow. You were fit and well trained but because your body was not your own you were blowing through energy rapidly. Your breaths were coming in short gasps as your chest heaved at each punch. If you kept this up, you weren’t sure how much time you would have before your body gave out entirely.

“Y/N, you left a huge gap! You were my best friend and then you were gone! You wouldn’t even talk to me before you left! You didn’t tell me you were leaving. I couldn’t even call you because the mission was supposed to be classified!”

Maybe it was the fatigue, maybe the hopelessness you felt, but you gave him everything you had left as you pummeled into him. Frustration over your situation, frustration at him, frustration at yourself built up inside you.

“I WILL NOT BE YOUR STAND IN! I will not be second best. I can’t look on anymore as you find someone smaller, cuter, littler to fit perfectly into your life! I deserve to be wanted! I deserve to be desired!” you screamed at the man beneath you as tears streamed down your cheeks.

Bucky finally bucked his hips and flipped you under him, pinning your hands to the ground next to your head.

“Get off of me! Let me go!” you had finally had enough. The damn had broken and your emotions and insecurities raged inside you. Your body pulled and twisted to break free from his grip.

“You do deserve to be desired,” Bucky said calmly as he caged you beneath him. “You are nobody's stand in. You’re perfect just as you are.” He wanted to say more but it was all he could do to keep you pinned under him.

The team burst down into the control room to see you openly weeping and Bucky on top of you.

“Nat, I need you to put an electric burst in my arm.” Bucky said looking up.

“I’m sorry, you what?” asked Nat.

“Just do it!” he said as you fought harder against him.

With a nod from Steve, Nat waved her baton and zapped Bucky’s arm causing both of you to scream in pain. When your body finally stopped seizing, the lack of adrenaline and the pain and fatigue caught up to you and you passed out in Bucky’s arms.

“You want to explain why I just pushed fifty thousand volts through you two?”

“Zemo infected her with some kind of nano tech. She hasn’t been in control this entire time.”

Steve scanned around the room. “Alright team, fan out. See if you can find out where Zemo went. I want teams down here with sat links up in 30 minutes.”

Bucky circled the gears around in his arm to get it up and running again before scooping you carefully off the ground.

“Buck, get her on the next jet out. Dr. Cho and Banner will be waiting for you to get back.”

…

For the second time you woke up in an unfamiliar place, and struggled to get your bearings. You felt like you’d been run over by a pick up truck and tumbled through a dryer.

Feeling slowly returned to your hands as your eyes opened and your vision cleared. You were in one of the medical rooms at the compound you realized.

“Look who decided to wake up,” said a gruff voice.

Turning your head you saw Bucky sitting in the chair beside you. He looked fresh and his eyes twinkled at you.

“Bucky,” you croaked as you tried to sit up.

“Woah there. You just relax. Your body is still trying to catch up from Zemo’s nanites.”

You slumped back down in the bed as Bucky leaned forward to take your hand.

“You had me worried there for a minute, doll. You’ve been sleeping for days. Wasn’t sure when you were going to pull through.”

“You doubt me, Barnes?”

“Not for a second, sweetheart, but I sure as hell missed you.” Bucky smiled, then looked down for a moment as if trying to find the right words. “We need to talk about why you left, Y/N.”

“No, Bucky, I...it doesn’t matter.” You say looking away. “It’s not important.”

“I don’t know, I’d say you thinking you don’t matter to me is pretty important.” You turned to look at him sharply, mouth open in a small gasp. “And I’d also say that you thinking I don’t find you desirable is pretty important too.”

You sat in shock as he spoke, not wanting to break the way you had during your fight.

“Y/N, you are perfect. You knew me before I even knew myself. You light up the whole room just by being in it. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are strong, independent, kind, and gentle. You’re like a tall Asgardian goddess. Every inch of you is beautiful. I thought back to the last time we talked...before you left, and I realized why you did. I know why you thought I wasn’t attracted to you. That night, Sam’s list,” he paused as if pained at the memory, “I didn’t add you because...well, because I was so confused at how I was feeling. You were my friend. I didn’t realize till it was too late that I was already falling in love with you. And I most definitely didn’t want to give Sam anymore ammunition.”

You looked up at him sharply when he dropped the L word.

Bucky stood to reposition himself on the edge of your bed. Taking your face in his hands he leans forward until your foreheads barely touch. “I didn’t want to ruin things with you. You were my friend. You were perfect and I thought you deserved better so I ran to find something that was everything you weren’t. You are my perfect fit. You are just right. You are the only person I want. Please tell me you’re mine. Please tell me I haven’t lost you.”

You brought your hand up to rest over his as you let his words wash over you.

He wanted you. He thought you were beautiful. All of you. All of the parts people had told you were too much: your height, your attitude, your independence - he wanted it all.

You did something that you wanted to do for months, you brought your lips up to his softly and gave him a chaste kiss. “I was always yours Bucky,” You pulled his hands down and pushed him away to look into his eyes, “but I won’t be taken for granted anymore. I shouldn’t have to leave for you to want me. I shouldn’t have to be gone for you to realize what you had. I left for a reason. It was to find peace with myself. I realized that I didn’t need your approval. I didn’t need your desire to be whole. I won’t settle for someone who can’t see what’s right in front of them. I know my worth.”

Bucky looked at you sorrowfully as he held onto your fingers, memorizing their shape. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t enough.”

“I know, but it happened. I don’t need you to be happy, Bucky...” Bucky hung his head in dejection. “...But I do want you.”

Bucky looked up at you sharply to find your eyes full of love and warmth. You wanted him. Even after all that happened - how he forced you away, how he made you feel like you weren’t good enough, you were still willing to forgive him. You wanted him even with all his faults.

You brought him closer for another kiss and savored the way his lips fell across yours. Breaking away to look up at him you said what you had been holding in for months, “And I love you too.”

Tags: @princessmisery666 @dreamwritesimagines

[nymphbnny]

perfect strangers

MINORS DNI // 18+

part one; part two; part three

genre: nsfw

pairings: jean kirschtein x female reader

word count: 2.6k

tags/warnings: penetrative sex, dom jean, fingering, praising kink, slight body worship, dirty talk, sneaky.

synopsis: your recent discovery makes you certain that you won't be able to control yourself around him and neither will he, hence you decide that it was time to make an agreement that was rather spicy.

a.n: hey babies! so i finally decided to turn this into a short series since some of you were intrigued with the idea of having a continuation for the previous part i wrote. i hope you like it, enjoy <3

“How was I supposed to know?!” I yelled as soon as Jean exited our apartment. I had put on a random t-shirt to follow Connie to his room, trying to convince him that I had no idea that I fucked his best friend.

“Y/n he literally told you his name is Jean and he was attending my party. You’re acting as you’ve never seen him before!” he scolded taking off his shirt and throwing it across his room.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Connie. The last time I saw Jean I was 16 and he didn’t look like that. He’s so fucking different now how was I supposed to know. And to be fair, he was studying abroad for I don’t know how many years, how was I supposed to know that he metamorphosed like that.” I motioned my arm out, my other hand resting on my hip.

He groaned, rubbing his temples before he looked back at me. “Look,” he spoke softly. “I don’t want to fight with you over this okay? You’re right, I should’ve told you that he was coming back. He graduated a year ago and was considering coming back to his hometown, here. Let’s just forget it all happened okay? It’s a simple misunderstanding.” I nodded, resting my head on his chest as he embraced me into a tight hug.

“Now go take a shower you reek of sex.” he snickered earning a punch on his arm. He winced rubbing his flesh, a proud smile setting on my face.

***

The week went by smoothly. I told Sasha and Hitch what happened and they both had different reactions. Hitch was gushing over the sex and Sasha on the other hand confessed that she forgot to mention that Jean was coming back to stay here. It’s okay though. We all passed it and I was working my ass off to finally graduate.

Connie was spending his days with Jean, which granted me a lot of peace and tranquility. At least, that’s what I thought.

I hadn’t spoken to Jean ever since we hooked up, figured that Connie already explained the whole situation and moved on.

Three knocks on my door broke my focus, a loud frustrated sigh leaving my lips. “What Connie!”

“Actually,” a voice on the other side of the door caught me off guard. “It’s Kirschtein. Can I come in?” A knot formed in my throat.

“Sure.” he turned the knob, slowly coming in. “Connie knows I’m here by the way.” I nodded, adjusting my seat.

“What’s up?” the tension was awkward. The tension shouldn’t even be present in the first place. But how could I not get aroused when he was wearing a black tank top showing off the tattoos on his sleeves with a pair of sweats. He looked effortlessly attractive.

“- and like I said it will never happen again. Y/n?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, yeah. Never happen again. I’m very sorry but I need to finish this assignment.” He chuckled and nodded leaving me alone with my thoughts. Did I just make him talk to himself because I was too busy checking him out?

I shook my head, assuming that whatever he said wasn’t worth my time. Time went by rather quickly and the assignment was done earlier than I expected. It was already ten pm, and I had promised the girls I was going to meet up with them for some drinks.

I picked my outfit and applied some makeup. Simple and effective. We were going to spend the night at Sasha’s so I didn’t make much effort to look hot.

The place was empty when I left and I assumed that Connie was helping Jean to rent an apartment for himself.

Sasha’s place wasn’t very far from mine. As a matter of fact, it only took me ten minutes to get there. Once I got there, the girls were already ordering pizza and picking out some movies to watch.

“Hey whores.” I greeted them, earning cheers from Hitch and Sasha. “Oh my god, Mikasa I missed you!” I rushed to the dark-haired girl who was sitting on the couch and engulfed her into a tight hug. I haven’t seen Mikasa since I moved with Connie. We used to live together, but after she and Eren got together, he wouldn’t leave her alone. So I figured it would be best if I left and lived with my brother.

“I missed you too! I looked for you everywhere at that party where were you?” she asked taking a sip of her soda. Hitch began coughing dramatically as Sasha giggled next to her. “Oh quit it.” I teased rolling my eyes.

I ended up telling her everything, her face displaying a plethora of expressions. “I mean, Jean did change I can’t argue with that. But didn’t he recognize you?”

I shrugged. “I changed too. Puberty hit me like a truck.”

“Cheers to that.” Hitch raised her cup. We laughed and talked for hours. I missed going out with them like that. Fortunately, college will be over soon and I’ll have some time for myself.

Movies were playing in the background but we paid them no mind. We ate our food and cleaned the living room, not wanting to bother Sasha with the cleaning since she was having Niccolo over tomorrow.

I glanced at the clock that was hanging above the door. I gathered my stuff and tucked them in my bag, drawing all of their eyes on me.

“Already? Come on stay longer!” Sasha whined. I smiled softly at her and shook my head.

“I can’t, I’ll see you guys soon.” I waved at them and walked out of the door.

***

“Connie! I’m ho- what are you still doing here?” I froze at the entrance, my keys still hanging from my index finger, my eyes fixated on him as he only stood in basketball shorts.

“What do you mean what am I still doing here. I moved in here remember?”

Silence. Nothing but intense and awkward silence. Moved in? Since when?

“I told you when I came into your room. Weren’t you listening to me?” I stared at him blankly, not able to explain how caught in thought I was when he came into my room. I was too busy checking him out to care about what he was trying to tell me.

“Why didn’t Connie tell me?” I closed the door and locked it slowly, my legs feeling weak, the idea of living with him and seeing him walking around like that making me weak. And extremely horny.

“He said he’d rather if I told you. You know, break the ice.” he shrugged and walked forward, his chest now a few inches apart from mine. “You changed a lot from what I remember.” he lowly said tucking my hair behind my ear.

“So did you,” I replied, staring at his lips. He licked his bottom lip and held my chin between his fingers, forcing me to maintain eye contact.

I was a sweating mess. I still couldn’t believe that this was Jean, the horse face. What kind of water did he drink, and how did he get so big? Look at those muscles-

A sudden feeling on my lips interrupted my chain of thoughts. I soon realized that he held my bottom lip between his brown ones. “Kiss me back y/n, I know you want to,” he whispered, his breath brushing up my face.

It didn’t take me long to pull him to me, crashing my lips on his. He was intoxicating in ways I couldn’t understand nor explain. I needed him close to me at the moment and I didn’t care why.

“Yo, Jean where did you my video game?!” Connie’s voice boomed from the hallway, forcing us apart. Realization slapped my face when I looked at him and saw his cocky smirk. I just kissed him, even though I promised myself I’d never do anything with him ever again.

“I’ll get it!” he yelled back, the same expression resting on his face, his back facing the hallway. “I’d apologize, but you pulled me back. Anyway, I’ll see around beautiful.” he winked and began walking towards Connie’s room, his back muscles flexing at his movements.

What am I doing with myself?

***

The atmosphere felt nice. I couldn’t sleep so instead I lied down on my bed and watched the stars from my window. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened hours ago and how I had to sit with them and pretend as nothing happened.

Jean was certainly not the little boy he was years ago. He got more confident and a lot more handsome. He was fucking with me and I thought, why shouldn’t I fuck with him too?

After all, I know for sure he didn’t tell Connie anything. He’s too protective of me and if he knew, well let’s just say Jean would be moving out by tomorrow. He trusts him blindly and I honestly just think he doesn’t want me to hook up with him again because he’s just like him.

He likes to mess around. Not the type to stay in the morning after. But neither was I. I sighed and dragged my legs out of bed, my body following.

“Shit now I gotta pee,” I whined stomping slightly on the wooden floor. I ruffled my hair with my hand and slipped on my slippers. I was wearing Connie’s t-shirt, so it was long enough to hide my thighs.

I walked to the bathroom when suddenly a hand grabbed my arm and yanked me into the guest bedroom. My mouth was quick to be silenced by another hand as I was about to squeal.

My back collided with the wall, my hands pinned on each side of my head.

“Jean let me go.” I struggled to get out of his grasp but he kept grinning at me. “Sure.” He let go of his grasp.

I looked around to notice a towel on his bed. “I was going to take a shower but then I heard your footsteps, couldn’t let you get there before I did.” He walked away, throwing his towel over his shoulder.

“Is that all?” I cocked my eyebrow, crossing my arms. He looked me up and down before saying: “You tell me. Need anything else?”

I looked at him briefly, calculating my next move. “An agreement. Connie can’t know.”

“Fuck yeah.” he dropped his towel and stepped closer to me, holding my face with his hands as he crashed his lips on mine. I kissed him back instantly, my fingers finding their way through his hair.

His tongue slipped in, caressing mine. His hands went down my body to squeeze my ass, pulling me even closer to him. My hands traveled across his bare chest, going over his pecs and then gliding one hand down his abs, while the other sat on his shoulder.

We pulled apart, his arms going under my thighs to pull me up and sit me onto the mattress. He walked to the door, locking it before he looked back at me.

Jean crawled over my body, caging me between his arms. “Divine.” he smiled and sat up, his hands tugging at my top. I helped him take it off and threw it on his chair. I was nude underneath him. It wasn’t the first time, yet he still looked mesmerized.

He licked his lips, his fingers tracing my cunt before dipping into my entrance. I arched my back at the sudden intrusion, trying my best to remain quiet.

“I missed your little cunt.” he chuckled massaging my insides slowly. I gasped, my hand immediately covering my mouth.

He rubbed my bud with his thumb, his pace never changing. It was torturing and slow, but I knew we couldn’t make a lot of noise nor make lots of movements that could awake Connie. We had to go nice and easy.

My legs squirmed, the combination of playing my nipples and watching him touch like he does driving me to the edge. My eyes rolled to the back as he added a third finger, my walls clenching tightly around them as I felt myself orgasm around them. “Good girl.” he praised with a chuckle, removing his fingers from my opening.

“Suck your juices off come on.” he tapped my hand, motioning me to remove it and take his fingers in. I stuck my tongue out, his ling digits finding their way down my throat making me slightly gag. “I didn’t know you were such an obedient girl.” he cooed, as I sucked off my arousal.

Jean sat back up, removing his shorts along with his briefs, his erection slapping on my lower stomach. “As much as I’d love you to suck me,” he paused pumping his cock. “I have to say that I miss being inside you.” And with that, he slid all the way in, his mouth silencing my moans.

He stayed still for a while, his eyes staring into mine intensely, almost as if he was trying to tell me something. I nodded my head, his hips moving at my signal. His thrusts were slow and deep, going over every spot. I wrapped my arms around him, my forehead resting against his, as he breathed heavily.

“I want to fuck you dumb, but he’ll hear your moans.” he taunted rolling his hips, his tip almost hitting my cervix. “So good.” I whimpered, wrapping my legs around him, my heels digging into his lower back.

“Jean…” I was close and my legs were a shaking mess. “That’s right baby, say my name.” he breathed in my ear, slightly speeding up his thrusts. I bit onto his shoulder, my orgasm ripping through my body.

I tightened around him, his strokes getting sloppier. It came to my attention that he wasn’t wearing protection, and I wasn’t about to get adventurous like last time. “Jean… pull out…”

“Beg.” was his only reply to which I complied. “Please, anywhere, just not-“ He harshly pulled out, and instead of jerking himself on my stomach, he reached up to straddle my chest and stroked himself. “Open.”

I stuck my tongue out, his hand now replaced with mine as I jerked him off, ropes of cum shooting down my throat. “Such a good girl.” he chuckled, rubbing his hand over his face.

He got off me and pulled his hair back using both hands, his naked body walking around the bed to grab some tissues. He cleaned off my arousal and handed me some to clean the corners of my lips.

“If only you could see how messed up you look,” he smirked and threw me my t-shirt before grabbing his towel and sliding on his shorts.

I put on my top and got off his bed. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and internally yelled at myself. I looked like a mess. My hair was tangled and my skin was all sweaty. Guess I have to take a shower too.

I looked over at Jean to see him staring at me with an amused look on his face. “What?” I cocked my eyebrow. He shrugged and smiled at me. “Connie and I are going out to get some lunch tomorrow. What’d you say?” he requested.

“I mean yeah sure. But Jean he can-“

“Can’t know alright.” he rolled his eyes. We stared at each other for a minute before I decided to leave his room.

As I made my way past him, his hand flew to cup my swollen cunt. “This belongs to me.”

[dourpeep]

Hello, i want to req kazuha x f!reader and if you can do nsfw, please 👉🏻👈🏻 since it's kazuha, maybe he's more like soft!dom. Thank you!

IEHFIEH OKAY OKAY I got really excited about writing this so it's a WHOPPING 3K WORDS! So many words

Kazuha's another Xiao situation for me, it seems...not to mention my favorite to write is very painfully obviously soft doms. That being said, I did make him a little more flirty than his voice lines suggest.

The poem that is referenced in the fic is In the Sea of Iwami by Kakinomoto Hitomaro!

Drowning in You

Summary: At first, you know little of the mysterious ronin's past, but little by little, you find your fates entwined.

Contains: ((NSFW 18+)) Kazuha x afab!reader, soft dom!Kazuha, reader is traveler but not Aether or Lumine, small mention of alcohol, hint of overstim, poetic

How vast, the ocean seems to be, even more so in the dark of night. Above, the sky is a spattered array with thousands of glittering stars, the moon but a sliver. The ship gently rocks in the calm waters as a meager dot upon waves. Despite the moon's position already setting back down along the dark curtain of night and the crew's final decision to retire to their quarters, you're awake.

Lost in all the thoughts of how you've just begun to experience all Liyue has only to now be well on your way to Inazuma.

The dangers that others have spoken of, that you know are to come…you’re sure that your resolve will be tested once more in the unfamiliar land.

The silent repose is interrupted by a voice.

"May I join you, traveler?"

Kazuha.

As you've come to find in the few days you've been aboard the Alcor, the red-dressed man often sits and watches the way the waves roll along the surface of the ocean and the birds soar across the sky. Lost in all that the sea has to offer, there's hardly a moment when he's not tuned in to the whispers of nature in quiet appreciation. Though, you notice, never this toward morning.

Shuffling to the side, you pat the solid wooden deck beside you. He takes a seat with legs folded beneath him.

"It's beautiful tonight—the gentle breeze, the sounds of the water hitting the hull...I fully understand the appeal. But why is it you're still awake?"

Before tonight, you've hardly heard the gentle timbre of his voice. The raspiness—whether natural or from his own fatigue, you're not sure, but a feeling of warmth settles. It swirls, tempting. Breaking your thoughts, you politely meet his gaze.

"Thinking, of everything, I guess."

You pull your knees to your chest, resting your chin on them. Though it’s a warm night, the breeze provides a chill from the ocean.

"Of Inazuma, too."

Kazuha hums in understanding.

Once more, the silence of the ship and sea envelop you to drift back to your thoughts, closing your eyes and forgetting what your handsome companion just stirred in you.

But your mind drifts back to him regardless.

Your heart quickens at the thought of him staring out towards the sea, the sun shining down just right and highlighting pale hair and scarlet eyes.

There’s little doubt that he’s caught your eye, handsome, with an aura of unknown strength. A wanted man, from what Beidou has told you. Forever on the run and far from home. She fully believes there’s no need to worry, but you know others might think otherwise.

They whisper how it’s certain with the breathtaking skill he displays in his swordsmanship that his abilities come from a multitude of experience. Speaking of the way he keeps so to himself. A samurai with a lack of a master.

A ronin.

It’s not surprising, the rumors that spread quick.

Though, you find, the speculation of danger quickly dissipates once the realization of his gentle spirit and knack for poetry comes to light. He’s gentle, you realize. Kind.

It’s hard to believe someone as free-spirited as he would be a criminal.

Kazuha is patient, body turned so he’s facing you while you think, examining the look upon your features. The realization that you’ve been lost in your thoughts about the very man warms your cheeks. You finally speak up.

“And you?”

“Most of the same,” He replies. “There’s no need to worry—about Inazuma, I mean. After what I’ve seen, I trust in your abilities.”

His hand settles atop one of yours. Its touch is warm.

“I may not be able to join you, but I’m sure of this.”

You look back out to the deep blue waters. But he doesn’t move, not until you look back into eyes the color of the very maple leaves he dons.

Expression serious, Kazuha leans closer. The skip in your chest worsens the heat that creeps up your neck and cheeks. But as quickly as he does, he pulls away, his hand returning to lay in his lap.

“Away I have come, parting from her / Even as the creeping vines do part. / My heart aches within me…”

Wistful, he recites, and turns his gaze to the moon.

“A poem, from my homeland. Bittersweet in it’s meaning. Whether he sees his lover upon his return—it isn’t known.”

“Do you? Miss someone?”

He chuckles, shaking his head.

“Not quite in the same way. A friend. Though I can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to have someone like that. Someone to hold so dearly within your very being that the thought of being without them brings physical pain…”

A hand lifts, pressing to his chest as if trying to feel for heaviness.

The two of you watch the night for a bit longer in silence.

As your long and arduous journey dwindles, you find yourself seeking Kazuha’s company more and more.

Unbeknownst to you, he does the same.

Most often, it’s between duties on the ship, arms leaning against the wood banister as you both watch the waves and birds as they meet in swoops. They glide with wings tucked, diving into the murky waters, soon to break back through with a prize.

An osprey, he tells you.

The pleasant bird-watching comes quickly to an end before you’re both swept back into work until late afternoon when the crew gathers to drink and celebrate.

After all, there’s only a few days left until you finally dock at your destination and the night is beautiful and clear.

You find Kazuha tucked away towards the quarterdeck.

With everyone else scattered on the main deck, the two of you are left alone with the waves and wind.

“You’re not going to join them?”

He looks up from his drink, setting it down before rising. Despite the way the sun has set, you can clearly see the mirth dancing in his eyes. Kazuha stops a few inches away from your face with his head tilted in question.

“Weeks we have known each other now…should I be offended that you’re still asking that?”

Clearly the unimpressed look on your face is enough to make him chuckle and apologize.

“No, I won’t be joining them. Not when I’d rather stay away and have you to myself instead.”

You flush and give him a little push. Again, he laughs and apologizes but you know that he doesn’t mean it. Regardless, you brush past him to sit where he was before, patting the deck in a way not different from that first night. All the same, your heart skips a beat.

“May I join you, traveler?”

A smile spreads across your lips. “Of course.”

So he sits and the two of you find solace in the little conversations you have.

It’s nice, to have someone to be close to, to share interests despite having backgrounds so distinct. He offers you a bit of his drink and you take a sip, holding it between both your hands. The face you make, he decides, is unforgettable just as it is hilarious. But his innocent enjoyment only lasts so long.

A dribble of the deep liquid beads at the corner of your lip.

You miss the way that his attention flicks to the way your tongue peeks out to catch the glistening drop.

Kazuha shifts, eyes flicking from your lip back down to the cup in your hand.

When his hand touches yours, guiding you to place the cup down, you snort. But he continues so he can interlace your fingers with his, to hear the way your breath shifts and sees how your pupils dilate when you realize the difference in his mood.

Would you mind if he were to…?

When your lips part and your eyes lower to his, he gets his answer.

"I hear the way that your heart beats loudly in your chest, your breath bated...” Really, his own hammers in his chest, louder than the crash of waves against the ship’s hull. He squeezes your hand.

“Just as I can feel your desire."

And truthfully, you know he’s noticed the way your gaze lingers on him. How when you two accidentally brush hands that you don’t immediately pull away. Not anymore.

Small flashes of little interactions with him come to light.

Finally, he leans in, and you find that his lips taste of the lingering bitterness of wine, tongue sweet as it laps at yours. He looses himself in the velvet of your lips and how they seem to meld to his so perfectly, the music of your sighs filling his senses and your heart beats like the rumble of the ocean.

To know what it’s like to hold someone so dear…this must be what that is.

Languid, your lips move against each other’s, reluctant to stop. Under the light of the maroon sky, you’re cloaked in the warmth of his body against yours.

When he finally parts, you’re laying against the deck with him hovering above you.

“I don’t want to regret this—the mere thought of being apart…”

He brushes a stray hair from your face, fingertips tracing over the curve of your cheek.

“Even if it means I will be risking my life, I will follow where you go. Destiny has made its mark, so who am I to break it?”

How can you refuse, seeing the sincerity of his vow, trusting the very man you met and befriended and come to love in a few weeks’ time? To know his gentle nature, the way that he seems always so aware of the world around him, the carefree way he approaches all he does—you’d known, somewhere deep within, that the moment he asks to accompany you, you’d selfishly say yes.

But it’s all too much to express in word, so you pull him down to meet you, desperate and yearning.

It’s easy, natural, the way that you melt into each other, fumbling as he helps you stand up—to make your way to his quarters between kisses.

The others still are above deck celebrating, unaware of the blossoming bloom between you, the private quarters void of anyone else. The door to his room swings open as soon as he turns the knob and you take him by his lapels and pull him inside.

The door closes with a soft click.

Setting you down upon his berth, he meets you for another kiss before beginning the tedious task of undressing. Even in a hurry, he carefully folds each article, ensuring their safety. When he turns, you’re left bare as well, looking at him through halfmoon eyes.

In his lungs, his breath is caught.

You’re beautiful.

So he says it in word and in the way that he guides you to lay with his body between your spread legs.

You utter his name, cupping his cheek. He leans into your touch while you guide him back down to you. It takes little for him to follow your movements, drawn in like the sweet song of a siren.

He claims you in the kisses peppered over your lips and jaw, dragging down to dip in the hollow of your neck. Beneath him, your pulse jumps and your neck flexes. So he continues, reverent. Pledging loyalty with every brush of his lips against your skin.

Yours, all yours.

Busied with the sensation of him, you relax, offering yourself to his touch. His unbandaged hand travels over the soft planes of your body, cupping breasts and hip, careful as it travels to press fingertips into your thigh. It lingers, so close.

The feel of your hand timid on his chest encourages him to explore the sensitive skin of your inner thigh before finally, finally tracing along your wetted cunt.

“Please—”

His fingers tease, sliding up and down along it, making you shiver beneath him. A sight to behold, one that makes his heart sing and stutter at once. And they draw out a shaky moan when they press into you.

He takes his time in the movement of his fingers, coaxing you with a curve and the dulcet tone of his voice in your ear.

Left with his name on your tongue, your arms wrap around his neck, wanting him closer, closer. He obliges. All you want in this moment is him—impatience running quick.

Kazuha is taken by surprise when you take him into your hand, marveling at the way his hips press closer to your touch.

It’s strange to be touched this way, even with his past experiences. How it feels to be caressed by you so intimately, just the idea of it being you beneath him, touching him, him touching you. He wants more of it. And so he bucks into your hand with hot desire coursing through his veins.

For a while, the two of you delight in each other’s bodies.

When he draws his fingers from your core, he doesn’t bother with the way your slick clings to his skin, replacing your hand around his cock with his own and propping himself up with legs kneeled and hips slotted between yours.

With bated breath you observe as he gazes into your eyes.

Even so smoldered with desire, they’re impossibly clear and gentle, reflecting the very swirl of emotions you feel with every thump of your pulse. Leaning closer, Kazuha brushes his lips to yours, slow.

“You’re trembling—are you cold?”

The room feels fine despite your state of undress, though he continues before you can speak.

“Allow me to warm you up...”

When he finally kisses you deep, his hips press into yours and fill you.

The ship sways, each rock back and fourth amplified with how he holds you close to him, how he whispers sweetly in your ear and describes just how good it feels for you to squeeze around him like that. Once more you’re swept into all he gives you.

Kazuha thrusts, every movement deliciously slow. The brush of his cock against your walls makes your eyes flutter and your lips part with every gasp.

Every sigh draws him in deeper. Slow, fluid.

With the ebb and flow of his movements, you find yourself lost. He is the raging tempest dragging you down to the murky depths yet is the same gentle wind that cools you. You’re lost in the way that he moans your name in your ear and hips barely pull away from yours before burying back deep.

You—spread beneath him with your legs bent to his sides—in the dim light drives him. Kazuha finds that no matter where he looks, how close his body is pressed to yours, it’s never quite enough. Every sigh that’s drawn from your lungs is the voice that calls to him to wander.

He’s mesmerized.

Each push stirs that need in you for more, coming to life in the way that your body arches to meet his. Almost…as if feeling him against you is your lifeline—a deep, unyielding need. The same strange feeling that he knows is coming to life within him. And with how you so sweetly grasp at his shoulders in your hands, he’s certain it is.

His arm slides down, hand flat against your lower back to lift your hips. Eager, you comply. A few strokes of his hips with the delicious drag provided by the new angle, and you cry out in whimpers.

“Right there—please, please-“

Murmuring your name, his lips press to your ear and his hips speed up as he searches for that spot once more. He’s good—feels so so good.

A kiss to your temple accompanies the quick build of the knot deep in your abdomen, pulling taut and teasing your release.

“Where should I touch you?” The croon of his voice calls.

You guide his hand between your writhing bodies, a shock of pleasure jolting when the pad of his finger brushes against where you’re most sensitive. Only moments pass before your vision flickers, body tensing and a choked moan escaping past your ruddied lips.

It’s too much—his careful movements to hit the right spot and the way his fingers trace over your skin and he finds himself lost in the feeling as well. The lingering feeling of your high sends shocks with every movement he gives, both of you left trembling. Shaky hands try to grab at his chest and arm, pulling it away.

He stills, just holding you close.

He can feel it again, the flutter of your pulse, when his lips pepper kisses along your jaw and neck to bring you back to him.

Finally back from your high, Kazuha carefully slides from within you in lieu of laying by your side. You’re still breathing hard when careful movements pull the blanket from the foot of the bed over both of your forms. With an arm draped over your now covered hip, he smiles soft.

The wind howls outside.

"Do you really mean it, Kazuha?”

He lifts his arm so you can turn onto your side, looking up at him with your head on the pillow. It’s cute the way the soft material forms around your cheek. But you’re still waiting for his answer.

The ronin simply places a kiss on your forehead, the warm brush of his lips punctuating his words.

“I will follow you til the day the sun ceases to shine—so long as you are by my side, the wind shall blow and the tides ebb. This shall be my vow to you...”

It isn’t until your expression relaxes, lulled to sleep by his warmth and the gentle rock of the ocean, eyes closed and your breathing even that he speaks once more. It’s quiet, save for the creaking of wood and the faraway shouts of the crew above in their revelry. Here, laying besides you, the feeling within his chest carefully tended to, Kazuha finds a new purpose. A newfound desire.

“…whom I love with a love / deep as the miru-growing ocean.”

[beautifulpaprika]

Pinky Promise

summary: Your mind has been reeling with thoughts of insecurity, but who better to comfort you than your boyfriend? 

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: Just comfort tingz and dis is my first post so be very weary PFFT 

word count: 1k (indeed, tis short) 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wasn’t going to class today. No way in hell. I was going to avoid him today for his sake and for mine.

The dorm room was quiet and still until my phone vibrated from beside me. I didn’t want to look. I knew my resolve would falter. I knew I was going to answer him and say that I missed class because I just didn’t feel good but that I was going to be okay even if that was the opposite of how I felt.

I pulled my blanket up over my face, yearning for more warmth. For more comfort. It has been hell since the day before. I had been scrolling through my social media and watching stories and my mind swirled. Questions that I shouldn’t have been asking ran through my mind.

Why can’t I look like that?

Am I falling behind in my life?

Why can’t I be that charismatic?

Why is he with me?

I’m the second choice, aren’t I?

My eyes stung from my own thoughts. I wanted to tell Jungkook all of this. His reassurance was something I needed. But I wasn’t going to ask for it.

What if he thinks it’s annoying?

I wipe the tears that fell from my eyes. I have to do this myself. I’ll feel okay in a few hours, I just need to be by myself for a bit.

I curl up under my blanket and close my eyes while under the sheets.

***

I’d almost succumb to sleep when the door of my dorm opens. I shoot up and look towards the door to see Jungkook standing there. His breathing was fast and his eyes searched me as I sat in shock.

“Can’t you knock?” I ask him.

“Can’t you lock your door?” he says with a bit too much bitterness than I would like.

“Too much work,” I mumble. He looks at me in disbelief.

“Why weren’t you in class? Why didn’t you text me back?” he continues to search me. “Are you okay?” he sits on the edge of my bed and I instantly stiffen. His cologne hits me and I want so badly to lean in and drown in his comfort and tell him everything sliding around in my head, but I hold myself back from doing so.

“I’m fine, Kook,” I wrap myself back into my sheets. “I’m just tired, is it so bad if I miss one class?” I cringe at the way my voice wavers a bit. His eyebrows lower as his eyes squint.

“You’re a shitty liar, you never miss class just cuz you’re tired,” he throws his bag on the ground and uses his feet to take off his shoes.

“You’re not staying here!” I blurt out. I clasp a hand over my mouth. It wasn’t meant to come out so harshly. He freezes and looks at me again. Now he’s definitely going to know.

“Why not?” It’s with those words that I am not really sure how to answer. He’ll know something is up if I answer incorrectly. Oh hell, he probably already knows something’s up.

“You have more classes, don’t you?” I avoid looking into his eyes.

“In a few hours, yeah,” he says, “I have time to spare,” his hand nudges my leg. “Move over,” I scowl at him.

“I want to be by myself, Kook,” I throw myself back and into my duvet again. I hear shuffling, but it’s not away from me, and instead, the mattress dips behind me. I curse low. His arms come around me and I feel his breath brush the back of my neck. “Stop,” my voice strains a bit, “I don’t wanna bother you,” my elbow tries to push him away but his arms only tighten me in his grasp.

“Something’s wrong and I’m not leaving until you tell me what it is,” he whispers. I blink, the goosebumps running down my arm. I turn in his arms to face him and hide my face in his chest. His hand strokes my head, just waiting. I hesitate. How long can I stay silent?

“Don’t get mad, okay?” I ask him. I grab onto his shirt and feel him nod above me. “Why do you like me?” I finally ask. His hand on my head doesn’t slow or falter, but he does give a low chuckle that I can feel the vibrations from his chest.

“That’s a silly question,” he says. I’m about to scold him, but then he continues. “I love you,” he corrects me and pinches my side, “because no one else makes me feel the way you make me feel,” some of his words are muffled because his lips are pressed to my hair. “I think about you and I instantly want to see you, I feel lucky to have someone so beautiful, and I feel like I can be myself around you. I mean, when I feel like shit, the first person I want to see is you,” my vision becomes blurry as he continues to speak. “Why do you ask?” he asks.

“I guess I just,” I sniffle, “I just haven’t been feeling my greatest,” I don’t go into too much detail. I only give him as much as I think is appropriate. “There’s a lot going through my mind and I just wanted to understand,” I move to wrap my arms around him and pull him closer.

“You know you can tell me anything,” he continues to caress my head, “I want to help you, reassure you, everything you deserve,” he pauses for a moment. “There’s no one like you, Y/N,” his hand finally comes off my head and I look up to him holding out his pinky. “I pinky promise,” I look back at him. He smiles at me. I take his pinky with my own and throw back my own smile.

“I love you, Kook,” I pull his hand close to me with my pinky still intertwined with his and kiss his hand.

“I love you,” he whispers. His hand comes to my face and pulls my chin up. He softly places his lips on mine and I feel rejuvenated - reassured.

I pull away slightly “You’re still going to class, right?”

“Hell no,” he says with a smile against my lips.

I groan and go back to having my arms around him and drowning in how good he smells. I secretly smile, because as much as I complain, I’m glad he decided to stay.

[favefandomimagines]

Oh (e.b.)

Summary: buck runs into his ex fling, taylor kelly, leaving you to feel like nothing but a second choice

AN: inspired by the winter finale of 911

You were a catch. You were smart, had a good job, beautiful. Guys were lining up to date you and yet the man you wanted to be with didn’t want you.

It seemed to everyone around you that the two of you were meant to be but to Buck, it wasn’t that obvious. He didn’t see how you looked at him, didn’t hear how you talked about him. Clearly, he didn’t know how you felt about him.

So, you stuck it out. You put your feelings on the back burner and just decided to be his friend. If he wanted to be with you, he would.

But you couldn’t ignore the feeling in your chest when he told you he was having dinner with Taylor Kelly.

“We got to talking at that call and then Albert said him and Veronica were having dinner and I just, called and asked if she wanted to come.” Buck explained. “And she said yes?” You asked.

“Yeah, she seemed on board. Maybe this is the universe telling me something.” He said. “The universe? You’ve never believed in that stuff.” You told him. “But this is Buck 3.0. I’m all for a change.” Buck answered. “When is this dinner again?” You asked. “Wednesday at 6.” He said. 

“Oh.” You muttered quietly. Wednesday was your birthday. And it seemed that Buck was caught up in bettering himself and finding someone that he had completely forgotten about you. But you had enough trying to remind him and get him to see that you were right there the whole time. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked at the mug in your hands. “You okay?” He asked. “Uh, yeah. I think I’m gonna head home. I have a long shift tomorrow.” You said, rising from your seat.

“You just got here.” Buck pointed out. “Buck, I just, I gotta go.” You said in a more stern manner. He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and watched you leave his apartment.

You let out a large sigh as you got in your car before the tears came.

How were you so unlucky that the guy you were head over heels for, wanted someone else? He wanted someone else so much, he forgot about her birthday. When you were right there through everything? You were there through Abby leaving, Ally breaking up with him, the lawsuit against the department, his parents, everything. And yet you were left on the back burner. 

You always put his feelings above your own, not because you felt like you should. But because you cared about him and if he was happy, you were happy. Though, the more you thought about it, the more you realized that he sometimes didn’t give you that same courtesy. 

Your day was like the day from hell. Everything that could go wrong in your line of work, went completely wrong. To make matters worse, you had lost one of your favorite patients. She had stage 3 leukemia but she never let that change her personality. 

She made going to the hospital after shifts worth while because at least you got to spend time with her. But the cancer was too aggressive for the chemo and she died in her sleep that night. You tried not to let losses get to you but she had been your patient since you started volunteering at the hospital. You were really hoping you’d see her remission but the universe had other plans. 

All you wanted to do was lay on the couch with Buck and just cry. You got in your car and dialed his number, getting a few rings before he picked up. “Hey, you!” He greeted you. “Hey, do you maybe want to come over later? I’ve had the worst day. I lost a patient and-” You started before he cut you off. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I can’t. I have a date tonight, trying to put myself back out there.” He said. “I can come over after.” He added. “No, forget it. It’s fine.” You said. “You sound upset.” Buck said. “I’m fine, Buck. Enjoy your date.” You replied before hanging up the phone. 

Since that evening, you had been avoiding Buck like the plague. On shifts, you wouldn’t talk to him. Sticking to Chimney and Hen like glue to avoid any conversation with Buck. 

You went so far to ask to ride in the ambulance to calls, rather than in the fire engine like usual. It wasn’t odd for you to be in the ambulance because you were an EMT but you usually rode with the rest of the team.

“Does anyone know why Y/N won’t ride with us anymore?” Buck asked his crew. “Are you that dumb?” Hen asked. “Hen,” Bobby started. “It’s because of you, dude.” Eddie answered. “Me? What did I do?” Buck questioned. “Well, you blow her off all the time, completely ignore her feelings and ditch her for dates and you’re so oblivious you can’t see that she’s totally in love with you.” Eddie explained. “When you were hurt in the hospital, she didn’t come to work for days because she didn’t want you the throw a clot. She had to work triple shifts just to make enough to pay her rent because of all the days she missed sitting with you. Did you ever thank her for that?” Bobby added. “Well, no, but-” He started. 

“And when she lost her favorite patient, Emily, did you ask her if she was okay?” Bobby asked. “I-I couldn’t I had a date. And she didn’t say it was Emily.” Buck said, trying to defend yourself. “If you don’t reciprocate her feelings, that’s fine. But she’s your best friend. And as her best friend, you are supposed to be there when she needs you. She shouldn’t have to explain herself.” Bobby concluded. “You also forgot her birthday.” Chimney added as they all got out of the engine. 

The rest of his shift, Buck tried getting you to talk to him. But it was always, ‘I’m busy, Buck’ or ‘Can’t talk, we’re working.’ He’d given up when he tried to stop you after a call and you had given him a look he had never seen before. 

The guilt was eating him alive. He was a terrible friend to you and he thought being with you was a pipe dream. Until Hen and Eddie told him you loved him. But regardless of your feelings for him, you had done so much for him and he didn’t realize it until you were gone. 

That night, Buck went over to Taylor’s to gain more perspective on what he could do to fix what he royally screwed up. 

“I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t talked to me in weeks. We’ve never gone this long without talking.” Buck explained to Taylor.

“Well, you did forget her birthday. And not give it a second thought that she was hurting over the loss of a patient.” She said. “That’s not helping.” He replied. “You asked for my help and I’m being honest. You really hurt her. She almost got evicted because she was so worried about you. The first person she wanted to be with after her friend died was you and you went on a date instead.” Taylor said. “I know. I tried to talk to her but she won’t answer any of my calls or texts. She won’t even look at me anymore.” Buck said. 

“You are so stupid sometimes.” Taylor laughed. “What?” Buck asked. “She has feelings for you. Why else would she get so upset? If she only saw you as a friend, you would be getting screamed at not avoided.” She explained.

“Everyone keeps saying that but there’s no way Y/N has feelings for me. She’s...perfect. Perfect doesn’t fall for damaged goods.” Buck rebutted. “Trust me, she loves you.” Taylor told him. “And do you love her?” She asked. “Of course I do. But being with her seemed like it was too good to happen so I tried to move on. I guess I tried so hard I ended up hurting her anyways.” Buck answered. 

“Then tell her. And do a whole lot of graveling while you’re at it.” Taylor said. 

Buck quickly left the apartment and got into his car driving like a bat out of hell. When he arrived at your apartment, he didn't even bother to park in the parking stall correctly, his main focus was just getting to you.

When he finally reached your door, he knocked on it rather harshly and heard the sound of your urgent footsteps coming to find out who it was.

"Buck? What are you doing here?" You asked. Buck couldn't even find the words to answer because he was more focused on what you were wearing.

You had on a formed fitting red dress, your hair was curled and flowing over your shoulders and you looked beautiful.

"Wh-Why are you dressed like that?" He stammered. "I have a date." You answered. "You have a date? With who?" Buck asked. "Emily's brother. We became close when Emily had chemo and after she died we kept in tough. Why are you here?" You questioned.

"Don't go on the date. Please, for the love of god, don't go on that date. Because I love you, Y/N. I was too stupid to see it until you weren't around anymore. And I was terrible to you. I was supposed to be your best friend and I was so worried about my own life I dnd't even ask you how you were doing and oh my god I missed your birthday." Buck rambled.

"Slow down, Buckley, and talk to me at a normal rate, please." You said.

Buck took a deep breath and looked at you intently. "I'm in love with you. I-I always have but being with you always seemed like a pipe dream because you're perfect. You have always been perfect and you know that I'm not." Buck explained.

"Exactly. I've seen you at your worst and I still love you but even as your best friend you never gave me the time of day. Missing my birthday to go to dinner with Taylor Kelly. Brushing me off after Emily died because you had a date." You laughed bitterly. "I have stood by you no matter what. But god forbid I need you once in a while." You added.

"And I am so sorry, Y/N. You have every right to be upset with me, I'm upset with me. I'm pissed off at myself because I didn't realize what I had until it was too late." Buck replied. "Evan, do you understand the situation you just put me in? I get to go on a date with a great guy, one who actually pays attention and then the man I've been in love with for years, shows up at my doorstep to tell me he loves me back." You started.

Buck's facial expression fell, fearing the worst and anticipating you telling him that you'd moved on and he was too late.

"And I have to call that guy and tell him that I can't make it. Because the person I actually want to be with is right here." You finished.

The light in Buck's eyes returned at your words, looking at you with a gentle smile.

"Really?" He asked. "Yes, really and please don't make me regret it. You've screwed up a lot lately, let's not add us to the list." You said. "So there's an us now?" Buck questioned. "I-If that's okay with you." You stuttered. "It's absolutely okay with me." Buck said with a smile.

"I guess I got all dressed up for nothing." You sighed, letting Buck inside your apartment.

Buck was quiet for a moment as he watched you take your heels off and your earrings, placing them on the table by the door. "Then let's not make it for nothing. Let me take you out on our first official date." He said.

"Besides, I need to see you in that dress more often." He added a smirk on his face. "Alright then, Buckley. Take me on a date. You have a lot to make up for." You smiled, offering him your hand.

Buck took your hand in his, happily, and held you steady as you put your shoes back on. “Trust me, Y/N, it’ll be the best date you’ve ever been on.” He said. 

In the moment, you laughed at his words but after the date had concluded and all was said and done, it had indeed been the best date you have ever been on. 

[nostaren]

Mr. Lonely

TOJI FUSHIGURO X READER

part 15 | series masterlist | next

Spending time with your underclassmen had proved to be really refreshing, as hesitant to the idea as you had been at first. The time was as such that you ideally should’ve been asleep by now, especially considering you had places to be tomorrow, but you didn’t feel tired in the slightest.

At exactly 3 am, you, Yuuji and Nobara were venturing the school premises, walking animatedly and acting very much like drunken fools without actually having had anything to drink. It was odd how much energy the three of you had, what with having not slept since the previous night.

“I’m telling you, he must be putting wax in his hair to have it stand up like that.”

“I don’t know, Itadori… Fushiguro doesn’t seem like the person to do anything with his hair other than brush it.” 

You thought about it, Megumi standing in front of a mirror and maneuvering his hands to style each strand. You snorted at the mental image. “Definitely not.”

Itadori’s hands moved to run through his pink locks. “And I do?”

“Yes,” both you and Nobara said in unison.

His response was gleeful. “So out of the two of us, I actually take care of myself!”

You and Nobara shared a glance, immediately breaking into a fit of giggles. While not particularly regimen-conscious, Megumi definitely took better care of his hygiene, the lack of smelling of sweat nearly as frequently as Yuuji being evidence to that.

“Why are you laughing? Oh! By the way, Kugisaki, we needed to read some pages in some book until tomorrow—no, later today? I just… don’t remember which book… or which pages.”

“What!? Why the hell are you telling me now?”

“You were away with Fushiguro and Panda all day! Oh no, I forgot to tell him too—ow! Stop hitting me!”

You zoned out the rest of the conversation, not really a part of it, instead becoming lost in your thoughts while trudging along to their pace.

The original plan had been to bring Megumi with you, too, but when Yuuji had incessantly knocked on his door, his response after a few minutes was to open it, call you lot morons for waking him up over something so ridiculous, then promptly sliding it shut. Hence Megumi being the subject of discussion for a good bit of your walk when the male wasn’t there to hear any of it. Nothing too horrible was brought up, just stuff that would surely make him sneeze a couple of times.

Before Yuuji had joined in, it was Nobara that dragged you out of bed, angrily going out about how men weren’t shit and how you shouldn’t spend even one second of your precious time mulling over him. Hearing her exclaim all of that without even knowing the full story pulled at your heartstrings. Nobara proved time after time how much of an unconditional friend she was, having your back even when you didn’t ask for it.

You hadn’t really been left to sort your thoughts the whole day, having been accompanied by at least one person at all times if you didn’t count the small window between when Gojo had escorted you to your room to when Nobara had come to get you. And while it would have been comforting to spill everything to Nobara—heck, even Gojo—you held back because you couldn’t help but feel it was an irrational sadness.

Because yes, you did feel a little sad.

The feeling creeped up on you as a few minutes passed of blankly watching shadows shifting across trees and listening to the bickering of your friends, sometimes adding to it, but otherwise just tagging along.

It was from being attentive of your surroundings that allowed you to notice a fourth person. A lone figure leaned on the railing of the approaching bridge, slightly hunched over and lazily typing away at his phone. 

It was by no means odd to see a person out at this hour, but within these particular school grounds? That was odd. You were outside despite it being past curfew, and you couldn’t recognize the silhouette in the distance to be one of the students. There weren't even as many students as there were fingers on your two hands, so you'd recognize any of them.

Hopefully he wasn't a teacher that you just didn't recognize, like Nanami.

Or, if he was a teacher, you hoped he was one that was as lenient about rules as Gojo.

Either way, you'd likely just pass him by and throw a casual ‘hello’ at him. No need to work yourself up over it.

But in the day's second douse of horrendous luck, your eyes, even in the dark, happened to catch sight of the particular way black strands of hair fell over his face. Your lips puckered as you took in his quite tall frame and the outline of his legs. After a moment of contemplation, you, brows furrowing, craned your neck to get a better look at him.

Was that—?

No. Fucking. Way.

“Guys let’s go that way,” you attempted to whisper over their exhilarated yelling from a heated argument, heart hammering loudly in your ears and adding to the stress of a situation you did not want to be in. When that didn’t work, you pulled at the back of Nobara’s shirt.

“Hey, that’s going to wrinkle!” 

Her exclamation fell short when seeing your form shrunken on itself in an attempt at hiding. 

“…you okay?”

“It’s—“ you threw a pointed glance towards the figure up front. “It’s him.”

 She turned to look.

“Not so obvious,” you hissed, inwardly groaning at how there was no way a certain someone wouldn’t realize you were now talking about him if he so much as glanced up. 

Yuuji meanwhile observed your exchange, oblivious to what exactly was happening but still managing to draw some (very faulty) conclusions of his own.

“Eh? Do you know him?” Yuuji squinted his eyes as if that would make him see better in the dark. To your horror, his arm moved up in a wave. “HEEEEEY!! OVER HE—mmph!”

You tackled him to the ground with a hand pressed to his mouth, tumbling into a nearby brush just as the figure ahead looked up from his phone. That left Nobara standing there awkwardly, staring at Fushiguro looking at her as if she’d grown two heads.

Your hands moved to loosely enclose around Yuuji’s throat in a mock-choking manner, whispering, “You’re a moron, you know that?”

“I know,” he whispered back. “But what did I do wrong this time?”

Your mouth opened to take your words back because now you felt a little bad, but Nobara’s “psst” interrupted you.

You looked up from Yuuji. “What do I do!?” Nobara hissed through gritted teeth.

A few seconds of deafening silence passed whereas you tried to think of something, but you apparently thought for too long because she finally decided on very obviously ducking into the bush with the rest of the crew.

Great. Real inconspicuous, Nobara. No way he could’ve seen that.

The three of you sat looking at each other with wide eyes, not knowing what to do next.

“What’s he even doing here?” you broke the silence, being mindful of keeping your voice low.

“He can’t enter without permission, so he must be here for Gojo-sensei or principal Yaga… Right?” came Nobara’s answer.

She was right. He couldn’t have gone through the barriers put up by Tengen if not invited. So had Gojo somehow found out that it was Fushiguro that was involved? Or…

You couldn’t feel even a slither of cursed energy reeking from his person, no matter how hard you concentrated, meaning he must be a civilian. Gojo had a knack for doing things inappropriately, but to invite a civilian into Jujutsu High? Surely, he didn’t…

But then again, you knew nothing of their relationship.

Either way, you just wished to remain hidden until he was done with whatever business he had here so you could make your way to the dorms and sleep the accumulated stress away.

Some shuffling from the left broke your thoughts. Yuuji was crouching down, peering through the leaves. “He’s gone.”

A collective sigh of relief was heard.

It didn’t last long.

“This peeping tom a friend of yours?”

“Uwaah!”

The three of you scrambled away from the source of the sudden voice.

While the question undoubtedly was directed at you, Fushiguro didn’t seem to know who you were.

The three of you shared a knowing glace, each expression some form of shock, feeling a little disturbed over how he had managed to sneak behind all of you, civilian or not.

His eyes skimmed over your forms, back and forth and then further to the sides as if looking for someone else. Not finding it, his eyes zoned in on you and Nobara. “So, which one of you is it?”

Nobara, immediately realizing what he meant, angrily exclaimed, “Do I look that old to you!?” and pointed an accusatory finger at you, as if you were the one to cause her offense. You wanted to tell her that three years wasn’t much, and that it wasn’t really enough to tell that much of a difference, but your mouth remained clamped shut.

Green eyes met yours. “Leave us.”

From the corner of your eyes, you saw Yuuji moving to stand. “You expect us to just leave Y/n-senpai alone with you!?”

Sweet, sweet Yuuji.

Nobara moved to stand as well, grabbing Yuuji by the arm. “We’ll be on our way now. You two take your time.”

Horrible, horrible Nobara.

You thought she’d want you to—had even told you to—move past him, not to figure things out. Admittedly, you’d rather do the former than the latter because at least then you wouldn’t need to talk about feelings yuck and you hadn’t had any time to really think whether or not to forgive him, should he apologize.

Yuuji sputtered in disagreement and you could do nothing but break eye-contact with the looming man above you to watch as Nobara dragged a flailing Yuuji behind her, wishing it was you in his stead.

“You have alllll night,” she winked.

And then you were alone with Fushiguro.

.

.

next

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[hollandsmushroom]

A Ring and A Chain

Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff and proposals. 

Summary: Tom wants to replace something of yours but comes up with a conclusion so you can keep your old ones as well. 

Word Count: 1610

You awoke to a rose on the pillow next to you, the soft smell enchanting your olfactory senses and drawing you from your peaceful sleep, it was in just enough time to catch the shirtless back of your boyfriend slipping out of the room. You're wrapped around the green stem, bringing the flora to your nose and inhaling deeply, the soft petals rubbing against your nose and making you shiver. The touch reminded you of gentle innocence and wandering through stores as a child trying to find the softest item, it was pure and unmeaning yet somehow filled with love. Your fingers pressed into the soft mattress topper, raising your sleep impaired body from the blankets. 

You swung your legs over the edge of the bed, toes curling as the bare soles met the cold wooden floor, a shiver running through your body at the sudden change in air surrounding it, looking longingly at the pile of blankets on the bed before the sound of the kettle in the kitchen pulled you in the direction. The scent of tea and coffee replaced the lingering aroma of roses on your cheeks. You heard Tom before you saw him, the velvety notes of his humming overwhelming your hearing as you leaned against the door frame. Your body was shrouded with one of Tom’s shirt, the one that he had taken off last night before getting in bed, he was wearing nothing but his grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips, the shadow of his hip bone peaking out, making you want to fall to your knees and places feathery kisses along the line of musculature.

His weight shifted from foot to foot, twisting around to face the kitchen island, where two plates with fresh fruit adorning the white porcelain sat. His brown eyes widened, eyebrows raising up his forehead, as he finally became aware of your presence. Your fingers still spinning the rose that had been so kindly placed next to you, he watched your movements as his eyes returned to normal, gaze softening as it went from your hands to your sleepy eyes. 

A yawn escaped your lips as you shuffled towards him, he stood still, hands still holding the frying pan that was filled with the pancakes he had lovingly made. Your arms wrapped around his naked torso, nuzzling your cheek against his bare chest, his skin smooth against yours. You huffed contentedly as he set the pan down, his arms encircling you and pulling you tight, lips burying themselves in your hair as he kissed the top of your head. 

“I thought you were still asleep” He spoke quietly, eyeing yoru striking features as you continued to cuddle yourself into him.

“Was, but a little cupid woke me up” you giggled, peeling your eyes open to meet his gaze, a smile spreading across your cheeks with how much adoration he was pouring into his stare, a grin quickly spreading to him as well. Leaning in and uniting your lips, it was a soft kiss, yet it still took your breath away. The only noise that filled your ears was the sound of your heart pounding, blood rushing as the world seemed to spin, there was more passion in this one kiss than there had been in any of your other relationships combined. His hands found your cheeks, thumbing over the dips of your orbital bones.

He continued this movement as you pulled apart, foreheads resting against one another as you both tried to catch your breath, everything in you seems to have been poured into that kiss. 

“Good morning” he whispered, not wanting to break the serenity that was the atmosphere of the kitsch at the moment. 

“Morning” you hum, looking at his eyes in time to catch them cover with a thick layer of fear, pulling back from your embrace, he placed pancakes on the plates and moved them to the other side of the island where two champagne glasses of orange juice sat. 

“What is the occasion?” you asked, curious at what made this morning so special. 

“Um, let's just eat and then you can see” he assured, kissing your lips tenderly as he moved around the island and pulling out your chair, which you happily accepted, the soft suede of the seat brushing against your bare thighs as you settled in, waiting for Tom to sit down before you started eating. 

“How did you sleep?” you spoke before taking your first bite, humming in satisfaction as you rolled your eyes back to show the pleasure this food had caused your taste buds. 

“I slept alright, if I’m honest, I just couldn’t get to sleep” he muttered, pulling your hand into his and twisting the rings that sat on your finger around, something he only did when he was really nervous. 

“Tom? Are you okay?” you asked, worry overtaking as you turned to face him, he looked terrified, his knee was shaking and he looked like he was about to start sweating. 

“Mhmm, I guess I just really need to talk to you about something” his voice was soft, turning his whole body to face you as he slipped something out of his pocket, a small black box. 

“Yeah?” you tried to ignore the box, thinking maybe he was upset that an heirloom broke or something but part of you exploded, thinking ‘what if this is what I think it is’. 

“Okay, here goes nothing,” he said, more to himself than to you. “Y/n, I love you, and you know that but, something has changed,” he paused, making your heart stop, did he want the small amethyst ring that he had given you years ago back, was he no longer in love with you?  Pinky and thumb going to scratch at the metal band that now felt too hot against your skin. 

“Last year, when we sat here in the kitchen and we hadn’t slept all night but you decided that you wanted to make breakfast before going to bed, you accidentally dropped the whipped cream on the floor and instead of clean it up or cry you sat down and dipped your strawberries in the part that wasn’t on the floor” he recounted that wild morning where all the both of you did was humor the others eccentricities, tears coming to your eyes in anticipation of what you truly believed to be happening. “I saw you and something in me clicked, all of the other times that we had of just being each other and going on adventures together came back and I realized that there is no one else that I would want to get lemonade with a 2 a.m. after getting late night noodles at that noodle express place in the financial district. Or that I would not have loved the night we found a rave randomly as much as I did if it was with anyone else” Your eyes searched  his, tears now streaming down both of your faces. “There is no one in this world I would rather be myself with, you make me feel loved and cherished and like I am perfectly enough at whatever point in time.” he took a deep breath, opening the box to reveal a small ring that was surrounded by something else silver, a chain? “In short, you make my life what I want it to be and I want to spend the rest of my life doing my best to make you feel a fraction of how you make me feel, will you do me the honor and marry me?” he rushed it out but you caught every single word. 

“You make me feel everything and more, Tom, of course I will marry you” you sobbed, it was a messy cry, snot on your top lip that you ignored, not caring anymore. 

“Oh thank god,” he cried, pressing his lips to yoru in a tearstained kiss, joy radiating off of the both of you. His fingers reader for the small silver chain, placing it in the palm of your open hand making you look at him with eyes that asked what?

“Um, you already have rings on your engagement finger so I figured that you could put them on the chain and wear them around your neck cause they will be replaced” a grin found its place on your lips as he handed you the ring as well. 

“I was, uh-hoping that the ring you would wear on you finger would be the engagement ring cause-” you cut off his rambling with your lips, hands wrapping around his neck as you pulled him close once again, you fingers making quick work of removing your other rings before pulling back, showing him your naked finger as you set your other rings aside, the clang of metal on marble beautiful to his ears, a sign of your devotion. 

“Would you put it on me?” you questioned, holding the ring he had offered you just moments before out to him. 

“Of course” he hummed, taking the ring and sliding it down on your finger before turning around, unclasping the chain and threading it through your past rings. 

“Here, let me help you with this as well” his voice was melting you and your throat had closed with emotion, you could only nod. He leaned in, lips on lips again as his hands went around your neck this time, clasping your new jewelry on before pulling back, admiring his now soon to be spouse. 

“I love you, future Holland” he mumbled, now fiddling with your engagement ring, but no longer out of anxiety, out of pure excitement. 

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