#okay not really. but always being the designated driver is pretty annoying lol

[holyscream]

wait a minute. you can fuck frank??

and to think that i’ve been sleeping on this game for years because i thought there was no way to get with this straight edge straight cringe king <3

[jooniperhun]

The End of the Rainbow | ot7 (1)

pairing: tall!black!reader x bts, poc!reader x bts, woc!reader x bts, black!reader x bts

genre: fluff, strangers to friends to (maybe) lovers [later], romance [later], comedy, misunderstandings [later], (slight) angst [later], smut (maybe??) [later], idol!au

rating: PG-14

wc: 2.3k

warnings: swearing

notes: the boys won’t make an appearance until chapter 2 but there is some foreshadowing in there (hint hint); pretend that corona never happened; most of the geographical locations/distances will either be made up or not named because I’ve never been to Korea lol whoops; this reads more like a reader-insert sorry that’s my default writing setting; and the boys’ backstories and such won’t be all that accurate because I’m the author and I say so teehee :)

“Text like this is spoken in Korean.”

“Text like this is spoken in English.”

summary: Your current job as a travelling housesitter has taken you to many places, some strange and many wonderful. When the acquisition of a new client takes you to Korea for three months, you wonder if your self-esteem can survive being around so many other-worldly looking people. Also, not to be paranoid or anything, but maybeperhaps you’re being stalked by the same seven strangers? They’re pretty loud and always surrounded by a tonne of people, so you write it off the first few times.

But this shit is getting excessive, chile. And annoying…

Rhetorical question, but what lies at the end of a rainbow? You hope that it’s a pot of gold, but with the way that your luck has soured, it might just be seven short(er than you), rowdy leprechauns ready to flip your world sideways…

Chapter 1: New Beginnings

Usually, when it came to social outings, ___ would go out of her way to make sure that she looked her best. Her wild mane would be tamed, her makeup would be carefully, painstakingly applied, and her clothes wouldn’t hold a single wrinkle. This, however, isn’t ‘usually’— this is an airport, and ___ currently couldn’t find it within herself to give a single, flying fuck about her appearance after the flight that she had just had. 

That isn’t to say that it was terrible— she was flying first class, for Christ’s sake! Not to mention that she didn’t have to spend a single dime on it (excluding the multiple new outfits and lashes that she purchased for herself because if she was anything, it was slightly vain). But a roughly 18 hour flight, combined with slight motion sickness? It doesn’t matter how comfortably she had dressed, or how attentive the flight attendants were, or how delicious the food was— ___ walked off of the landing strip probably looking exactly as she felt (read: terrible). 

Luckily, the good thing about airports was that she wasn’t the only one. No one paid her any mind, too worried about themselves and finding their respective luggages and families to be giving some rando more than a passing glance. 

She was officially in Seoul, South Korea, and she couldn’t read a damn thing.

Okay— slight exaggeration. Most of the signs had English (and Spanish, and Chinese, and Japanese) translations beneath the larger blocks of Korean, but her damn near-blind ass missed that the first time around. 

The airport looked as airports tended to look— large, modern, and clean. There was a beautiful netting of glass in the ceiling that let gentle rays of sunlight in. The walls were similarly comprised of the netting design and slanted outwards, away from all of the passengers. Statues and abstract constructions divided the masses. People from all walks of life milled around, looking for their luggage or anxiously waiting for their plane to arrive.

Incheon International Airport, Terminal One, Flight DL27. ___ reminded herself over and over of the number of where she would go for Baggage Claim, scanning the area and mumbling slightly to herself. She adjusted her dark shades and hefted her purse (her only carry-on) higher onto her shoulders, following the crush of fellow passengers into the depths of the fragile looking place. 

There were a lot of people walking around with black facemasks and shades on, so she was glad that she wasn’t the only shady-looking sista walking around. Inwardly snorting at her own pun, ___ nearly walked past her destination. 

It was honestly this part of each trip that gave her the most anxiety— that is, waiting for her suitcase to come around on the conveyor belt.

She had heard and read multiple horror stories about too many passengers never recovering their luggage. Either stolen, lost, or dropped from the airplane itself— if it could go wrong, it went wrong. But it’s not like hers’ is particularly interesting to look at. It was a simple, standard black. Only a red, knotted ribbon tied around the handle marked it as her own.

Ten minutes of fretful bag checking later, ___ finally found it. She gave a silent sigh of relief and turned towards the exit. Then, her anxiety flared right back up when she realized that she would have to hail a taxi to get to her destination. 

Honestly, her people-meter was getting a little bit too full for her to actually be initiating direct human interaction right now. 

But she would persevere! Even if her persistence could use a bit of work, she’s faked confidence enough times to make it. 

Getting a taxi to stop for her was like pulling teeth. By the time that she had stuffed her menial baggage into the trunk and clambered into the front seat, her temper had risen a few notches. She���s had a long two days. The flight wasn’t kind on her stomach or her sleep schedule— not to mention the fact that she felt disgusting. A shower sounded so nice right now… She didn’t want to be on the streets any longer than she had to be, dammit!

Donning her ‘Customer Service’ voice (as she liked to call it), she politely rattled off her destination to the driver in Korean. He was on the younger side for the profession (at least, from what she’s seen), with neatly laid dark hair and slightly tanned skin. His dark eyes constantly shifted from the road to her when they were stopped for traffic, but he luckily seemed to sense her mood as he did not say anything more than the polite initial greeting. 

All in all, it was a 30 minute drive filled with determinedly unawkward silence. ___ sent a quick text to her employer to inform them that she would be at the house in a bit, then sent another to her mother to let her know that she touched down safely. Almost immediately, her phone began to buzz.

Rolling her eyes, ___ answered. “Good morning to you too, Ma.” She said as her full lips tilted up in amusement. Upon hearing the English, the driver sent another glance in her direction.

“Hey, baby! It’s night time for us right now (we just got finished eating dinner). How was your flight?” Her mother’s voice gave a slightly tinny echo as she spoke, and the sound of shifting fabric clued ___ in to the fact that she, indeed, was probably on the toilet.

“Tiring. I forgot to buy Dramamine, so it was a fun time for me.” She switched hands with her phone so that she could look out of her window more comfortably. Little snatches of the city flashed by before they turned into a slightly more residential area. The houses here were large and gated, yet closely located. “How is everyone doing? No-one dead yet, right?”

Her mother snorted. “Yet is correct. Turns out, ya’ sister got herself a lil boyfriend—” ___ had to stifle her laugh before she gave herself away, “— and ya’ daddy wasn’t too happy when he found out. Her fast ass is sitting in her room right now, phone taken and everything. Woulda’ gotten an ass whoopin if we found anything triflin’ in it, but she’s clean.” Yeah, only because of her advice. No sending nudes back and forth, no secret folders dedicated to trifling shit, and no conversations going further than normal teen-girl gossip. Those were her three cardinal rules to sneaking around with a boy, and it seems that her little sister had done well to heed them.

“And the lil’ boy? Anyone we know?” ___ asked, playing along. If her parents found out she already knew about him, her ass would be grass, too. 

“Yes!” Ma exclaimed frustratedly. The driver jumped at the sudden loud sound in the otherwise silent car. “That nigga, Devin. Lives a block down from us? You know the one.” She gave the appropriate gasp at the news while rolling her eyes. Devin was a sweet boy who had a good future ahead of himself. There was no goddamn way she would waste her painstakingly gathered advice on someone who wasn’t good for her sister.

“Dam— I mean, wow. You think you know the people you live around...” She caught herself quickly before she cursed. Even halfway across the world, her fear of her ma’s wrath was still very, very healthy.

“I heard that, but I’ll let it slide this time.” Her mother’s tone was amused despite her previous outrage. 

“Anyways, as I was saying… I don’t see anything wrong with Devin. He was a nice boy, last time I talked to him.” From the cover of her shades, ___ watched the driver watch her from the corner of his eye. The car began to slow.

“Tell that to ya’ daddy. He—” Ma began to rant as ___ pulled the phone away from her ear. 

“How much do I owe you?” She asked quietly, hands dropping to rummage through her purse for her wallet as she cradled the phone between her ear and her shoulder. “—Alright, Ma. Imma have to call you back. We just pulled up to the house and I gotta get situated.”

Handing the driver the appropriate amount of Won, they both left the car to remove her luggage from his trunk. “Okay, sweetie. Love you! Call me again when you get settled in.” Her mother echoed as she mouthed a quick ‘Thank you,’ with a shallow bow.

“Gotcha. Love you, too! Bye.” She hung up and grabbed the handle of her suitcase, making it extend before dragging it behind her towards the house that they had stopped in front of.

She couldn’t really see anything past the high, brick walls and iron gate. Spotting an intercom, she quickly checked her reflection in her phone’s camera before she could press the button to call her employer.

Removing her silk head-scarf, she found that her high puff had held up reliably under it. She quickly stuffed it into her purse and pulled out her glasses case to place her shades in. Shoving that back in, too, she smoothed out her black jeans and checked for stains on her yellow top. It was only after assuring that her face was, indeed, clean that she rang the buzzer.

A red light blinked on before a voice answered. So there was a security camera for surveillance? Good. “Good morning! You must be ___, right?” Her voice was smooth and low, like velvet. It hinted towards an older age, especially when compared to the commonly high pitched tones of the youth.

“Yes, good morning.” ____ stepped back slightly to bow. The gate unlocked with a soft click, and she made her way up the driveway. She could only see one car at the moment, but from the size of the house— no, mansion—, she was sure that a lot more were probably in the garages (yes, plural).

The mansion was a modern white with a lot of windows to let in natural light. The lawn was cleanly cut and the rich, emerald grass shined with small droplets of morning dew. There was actually a surprising amount of yard space, which was ideal for pets and children. The only thing that she would be needing to worry about this trip was a dog and some plants, though.

Little solar-powered lights lined the walkway that ___ walked down. They looked nothing like the one-dollar versions from the Dollar Store, and definitely cost a lot more, too. She climbed a few stone steps to reach the porch. On either side of a dark-wooded door, two gold vases stood guard. They were almost as tall as her and intricately carved with little, delicate flowers. The welcome mat that she stood upon was a sensible dark brown and had a looping Welcome swirled across the front in white. 

She rang the doorbell and patiently waited.

A few moments passed before the door sprung open. The lady that answered was small and adorable in her old age. Her dark hair was sprinkled with white streaks, and her large, dark eyes were creased with laugh lines. The same lines were also wrinkled around her mouth, but they did not take away from the traditional beauty that she still held. Her cheeks were rounded and scattered with pink, and her skin was the color of milk. She was dressed in a fashionable black pantsuit and wore black pumps that boosted her height. 

“Good morning!” ___ bowed lowly with a sweet smile. Her eyes, large and slightly too round to truly be almond shaped, disappeared into crescents. With her face transformed so cutely by just a single smile, one would find it hard to believe that ___ had a mean, mean resting bitch face that, when combined with her not inconsiderable height, gave her a naturally intimidating demeanor.

Endeared, the woman bowed back. “Please, come in.” She invited, stepping aside and letting ___ and her suitcase drag in. 

***

She was still getting situated in the guest room when the door slowly creaked open.

Though she couldn’t see anything from where she was seated on the bed, the tell-tale pattern of claws clicking against the hardwood floor cued her in to who was entering— Mickey, a cute, little Shih-Tzu breed with floppy ears and a brown and white coloring. Despite the fact that he was male, Mickey had two tiny, powder-blue bows woven around his ears. His matching sweater creased slightly as he padded towards her.

“Hi, sweetie!” ___ cooed, reaching down to give him a gentle pat on the head, “Are you looking for some company now that Grandma isn’t in?” 

Mickey had been (surprisingly) very calm upon his introduction towards ___. He barely reacted (outside of a few weak wags of his fluffy tail) to her squealings of how cute he was. Perhaps it was behavior that he was used to.

He settled down onto the carpet next to her bed, the ideal spot for her to reach down and pet him if she wanted to. It was a good move on his part, because that was exactly what she wanted to do. 

___ was a huge dog lover— in fact, she just loved cute, fluffy animals in general. Cats, llamas, sheep— you name it. She tolerated reptiles, and if she had to handle insects, it was usually with gloves and a healthy bit of distance. 

The moral of the story is that she adored fur-babies, and until Mickey’s owner came to pick him up or his Grandma came back home, Mickey was her dog.

a/n: Thank you all for reading the first chapter! I really hope you liked it. The fun stuff starts next chapter, so please stay tuned! I have so much planned *evil laughter*

[angstyaches]

Ok so I freaking love belly rubs and now that we’ve seen Shayne receive a belly rub I want to see it reversed 😂 Charlie has an upset stomach for some reason and realizes that he just really needs to burp but he can’t and all day long the feeling just gets worse until he’s finally home and can lay down but still nothing will come up and when Shayne shows up and he lets him through the window he immediately knows something is wrong (p 1 of 2)

(P 2 of 2) somehow Charlie convinced him to help him by rubbing his stomach which of course helps and he burps into his fist a couple of times but it’s not releasing the pressure at all, actually it’s making him feel nauseous and before he knows it he suddenly vomits all over him and Shayne ( I know this doesn’t really fit with the plot you’ve got since the ending of the last fic with Shayne but i didn’t know how to make it fit 😂 you can ignore this prompt if ya want lol)

Milo, thank you, thank you, thank you. I had so much fun writing this. Baby’s first prompt.

Sorry if this is obnoxiously long; I have no idea how to judge length yet.

CW: vomiting

In the pub

Charlie had zoned out hours ago, upon realising that the three-year age gap between him and his oldest cousins meant a lot more when he was eighteen and they were fifteen. Whatever pop culture they were chatting about held no interest for him, and whatever gossip his parents, aunts, and uncles were engaging him would likely be just as boring.

He wished he could have gone and talked to Jonathan. He hadn’t seen his half-brother in months, yet he’d barely wanted to speak two words with Charlie all day. He’d brought two friends along, which Aunt Pauline had been annoyed about at the start of the day. She had gotten over it; Charlie, however, had not. The three of them had been skulking outdoors in the smoking area for hours.

Although, if he’d been given first pick, Charlie would have been chatting to been the pretty bartender with the gold lip ring. The guy looked run off his feet, yet had a smile for every one of Charlie’s relatives who had an order to bark at him, be it a chocolate-stained little cousin or his cane-wielding grandmother. He was so cute, but Charlie was too nervous to even look him in the eye. He also felt slightly… guilty, though he could think of no rational reason why he should feel guilty. He wasn’t spoken for by anyone; not even close. And that just made him sink further into his loneliness.

So, with no conversational opportunity, Charlie had occupied himself with the bar food that came out in waves. He didn’t often eat greasy food at home, and he ate exactly like a kid let loose in a store full of chicken goujons and potato wedges. His stomach started to feel kind of sloshy at one point, but that might have been from copious amounts of fizzy orange. More food would surely soak it up and settle everything down.

After the cute waiter dropped off a tray of drinks at the “adult” table, Charlie’s dad stood up and took a glass over to where Charlie was sitting.

“There you are, designated driver,” Trevor said. His cheeks were flushed red from drinking for pretty much the whole day.

“Thanks, Dad,” Charlie said, fidgeting with the keys in his hoodie pocket. “Can we go soon? I’m getting tired.”

“Of course. Last drink and we’ll hit the road,” Trevor winked, giving Charlie’s shoulder a squeeze. “You really are a blessing, son.”

He couldn’t tell if the flutter in his chest was because of the waiter still, or because of what his dad had just said. It might also have been indigestion, though he wouldn’t think of that until a little later.

“Maybe go and say goodbye to Jonathan before we head off, yeah?”

“Alright, Dad.” A blessing, he thought as his father went back to the proper adult table and sat next to his wife. Their half-demon offspring is a blessing to them. Part of him wanted to burst out laughing, the other half wanted to weep. He hovered somewhere in between, smiling despite the tightness in his chest.

He guzzled a few mouthfuls of the fizzy drink, stealing his courage as he stood up and went to talk to Jonathan.

In the car

The drive home itself was exhausting. Charlie’s energy was already spent after a whole day of socialising. His stomach was making some awful sounds, though it felt lazy and sluggish inside him after being fed such little amounts so many times throughout the day. The flavour of the fizzy orange kept repeating on him too, and he vowed never to touch the stuff again. He glanced over to see that his dad had fallen asleep against the passenger door. In the rear-view mirror, he saw that his mum was snoring with her head thrown back.

Charlie swallowed harshly. It felt like some of the fizzy orange was sitting in his throat, blocking his airways a bit. Gripping the steering wheel tightly at ten and two, he tried to let some of the air up from his stomach, but the bubbles stayed exactly where they were, gurgling amongst the sickly combination of food in his belly.

He slid his right hand from two to twelve on the steering wheel, glancing once again to make sure his dad was still asleep; Trevor would definitely yell at him for having one hand off the wheel, but it was a straight, empty road, and Charlie was decidedly below the recommended speed.

Besides, he could probably pull up enough strength to telekinetically steer the car, if he had to. Having acceleratingly strong demonic powers had its unexpected quirks, after all.

Charlie rubbed a hand across his belly, realising that it was filling out his hoodie a lot more than it should have been. He stifled a whimper as he pushed on the swell, hoping to force up at least some of what was making his stomach feel so bad. It gurgled under his hand, the pain shifting slightly but not upwards. There was a slight rumble in his chest, a fizzing in the back of his throat, but nothing more.

He put his left hand back on the wheel and sighed, surviving on the fact that at least he’d be home and lying in bed without the hour.

Back home

“Night, Mum, night, Dad,” Charlie called dully down the hall, though they’d probably both passed out on their bed in the time it had taken him to brush his teeth. He’d hoped the minty flavour would have soothed the burning acidity, but it had just mixed sickly with the fizzy orange reflux. He could finally hunch over a bit and rub his belly with a little more force, now he was alone in his room.

He reached for his bedside lamp, when a tap on the window made him jump. He almost knocked his little brown stuffed bear from the nightstand, and he rushed to straighten him.

“Sorry, Vincent,” he whispered before approaching the window. Another tiny pebble hit the glass and Charlie groaned under his breath. Couldn’t that boy learn how to send a text?

Charlie cradled his belly as he spotted the dark-haired figure in the back yard. Usually, the sight of Shayne gave him a very light, pleasant feeling, but right now he felt the furthest from light he’d ever been. He sighed and directed his gaze towards the back door, focusing on undoing the lock before ducking back into the room.

He leaned against the windowsill, rubbing his belly desperately. It was definitely too much to ask, that all of the burps trapped inside him come up in the time it took Shayne to get inside, take off his ridiculous boots, and creep upstairs. All Charlie succeeded in bringing up were a couple of orangey splashes that burned his tongue.

“Whatever it is, I’m not in the mood,” he whispered as soon as Shayne let himself quietly into the room.

The dark-haired boy frowned as he closed the door. “Hmm?”

Charlie sighed and sat down on his bed. “I don’t care if it’s a voodoo doll or a silver stake or a monkey’s fucking paw. Can we do it another time?”

“Okay, first of all; hi,” Shayne muttered. “Second; how would any of those things be useful in exorcising or communicating with a demon? And third; where were you all?”

“My cousin’s christening,” Charlie said, slipping a hand into his hoodie pocket so he could keep some pressure on his stomach. “It went on kind of late.”

“You’re telling me?” Shayne began to pace evenly back and forth. “This place gives me shivers on a normal day. Ten times worse when it’s all dark and unoccupied.”

“Well, you could try not hanging around on other people’s property,” Charlie grumbled.

“I caught three demons in the back yard,” Shayne said. “Three demons that will never possess your parents, so you’re welcome.”

“So, you’ve got fucking warding jars on you?” Charlie whined. He knew he was feeling awful for a reason, but if those jars were close-by, they certainly wouldn’t be helping.

“’Course not, I left them at the far end of the garden,” Shayne hissed. “Okay, you’re sounding more like me than me tonight. What’s going on?”

Charlie swallowed and looked up at his friend. His belly was groaning, and he hoped he was the only one hearing it. He pulled his hand from his pocket and started holding it a bit more firmly, giving up the secrecy.

“I don’t feel so good,” he whined, sitting forward. “My tummy’s really sore.”

“Oh. Well, why haven’t you taken any of those tablets you always try to force on me?”

“Because I’ll be fine once I can burp, but so far, nothing wants to come up.” Charlie’s face burned at hearing himself give so much detail. He lowered his head as he leaned towards his knees, curling around the knot of pain.

He felt the mattress take Shayne’s weight, and then a hand prying his away from his stomach. He took a sharp breath and looked up.

“Are you going to rub my tummy?”

“You’ll never hear me say it in those words, but… yeah.” Shayne was still frowning, though Charlie recognised a slight blush in his cheeks. “Here, straighten up. Stop sitting like an idiot.”

“That’s mean,” Charlie whined, slowly released his vice-grip on his belly and straightening his back. “Why do I feel like you’re going to be really bad at – mmm.”

Shayne’s hand could almost have covered Charlie’s whole belly if it hadn’t been so bloated and tight. His stomach churned uneasily alongside the movement of Shayne’s fingers, until Charlie felt gas bubbles press up towards his chest. He felt himself groan without deciding he was going to.

Shayne held his breath, pausing the motion of his hand. “What? Am I doing it wrong?”

“No, no, don’t stop,” Charlie groaned. “Can you rub my back, too?”

As soon as Shayne pressed on Charlie’s stomach and ran a hand up his spine, Charlie felt the gas bubbles release, making a deep rumbling sound in his chest. He pressed a fist to his mouth and turned his head away from Shayne. The burp was so loud Charlie worried it would wake his parents, and lasted about four seconds.

“Holy shit,” Shayne whispered. “I think I felt the room shake.”

“Shut up,” Charlie groaned.

“Feel any better?”

“Not really.”

“I’m going to lift your jumper, okay?”

Charlie almost squeaked as Shayne slid his hand under his hoodie, rubbing at the straining skin of his belly. Charlie dug his nails into the duvet to keep himself from wriggling. His skin was starting to feel prickly and warm, but that could have just been because of what was happening. Shayne was here and touching him, and not just through his clothes. He had his hand on Charlie’s bare torso. He was in pain, but he should have been enjoying this at least a little.

A weak smile twitched across his mouth as he nudged his cheek experimentally against Shayne’s shoulder. When the dark-haired boy didn’t flinch in any major way, he let himself lean a little harder, hoping his heart wasn’t pounding as loudly as he thought it was.

“What did you do to it, anyway?” Shayne asked, and it took Charlie a second to realise he was talking about his stomach. His fingers kneaded gently across it

“I, um, just kept eating, I guess.” Charlie turned his head to let out another burp, though this one sounded like it was strangled on its way up from his stomach. “And my dad kept bringing me fizzy drinks. Designated driver, you know? Aw – fuck, Shayne.”

Charlie frowned and winced as his stomach suddenly lurched under the pressure of Shayne’s hand.

“Shit – what is it?”

“I don’t know,” Charlie murmured, his cheeks suddenly tingling. A certain kind of panic began to ring in his ears. “Oh, god, I think I’m going to –”

He retched before fully realising it was happening, before he could do any kind of aiming or get his hands in front of his mouth. His hands did fly out, one landing on Shayne’s back, the other on his own knee. The majority of the thick, orange vomit landed down the front of Shayne’s jacket and t-shirt, the rest of it flicked across Shayne’s jeans and the duvet cover.

“Oh, my god, Shayne,” Charlie gasped. His hand was shaking as he brought it up to cover his mouth. Almost immediately, his head pitched forward again, another long gush of sticky orange liquid and chunks of bar food spraying over the sleeve of his hoodie as he tried to block it, but a lot still landed in Shayne’s lap.

Shayne sighed, though he really hoped Charlie didn’t hear it. He’d definitely take it the wrong way, thinking Shayne was sighing out of frustration when really, it was the only way he could release the intense sympathy he felt as the blonde boy clung to him and vomited. Shayne continued to rub Charlie’s back, though he wasn’t sure if it was helping or making things worse.

Charlie hiccuped into his sleeve, clearly forgetting that he’d just gotten sick all over it.

“Shayne,” he croaked, slowly lifting his gaze. “I’m so sorry.”

“Feeling any better?”

“Actually, yeah, I am.”

Shayne shrugged. “Then it’s fine. Jesus, if only exorcising you was so damn easy.”

[matiastm]

hi ho, i’m ac. she/her, gmt+1 and 23. i bring you my son matias. he’s an onion, lots of layers. i love him tho, i basically just use him for every rp lmao so if you’ve seen him around ??? well

❛ ✶ ( CODY CHRISTIAN , CIS MALE , HE/HIM ) . who the hell is blasting BAD INTENTIONS by ALEXANDER OSCAR at one in the morning ? nevermind , that’s just MATIAS BORGES from 1106 . apparently , they are a TWENTY-THREE year old SOCCER PLAYER from  PROVINCETOWN , MASSACHUSETTS , and they’ve been living at the complex for 1 YEAR . i heard they can be a bit JUDGMENTAL , but they make up for it by being so CHARISMATIC — which makes sense , considering that they are a ARIES ! when i think of them , i imagine GYM BAG THROWN RIGHT AT THE DOOR, DOG TOYS LAYING AROUND TO TRIP OVER & A BLACK AND WHITE ASSORTMENT OF SNEAKERS . and of course , don’t forget to follow them at ( @MATIASBORGES ) ! ooc . ac , 23 , gmt+1 , she/her .

first of all, here’s his pinterest !

BACKGROUND:

okay so, matias grew up in provincetown,massachusetts, i know wtf. it was very idyllic, and both his parents were quite happy with the outdoors, with a love for sailing and soccer, and his mom loved gardening, which they had plenty opportunity to do there.

his dad is like aby rosen, real estate tycoon and entrepreneur, owns a lot of prestigious buildings around the world. his mom is a retired supermodel and is basically like chrissy teigen at this point, socialite making cookbooks and fucking dishing out life advice on twitter and what not.

he has a younger sister, whomst he’d 100% throw hands for. even if all she does is probably roast his ass, it is what he deserves. she’s way smarter than him but then again, it’s not that hard.

so although he did live in provincetown and there were plenty fancy private schools in boston and what not, his parents had a designated fancy private/boarding school in new york. so he moved to new york for high school.

matias was always an immense soccer talent and all he dreamed of while growing up was to one day play for the big european teams, like barcelona, manchester, bayern munchen and what not. i wouldn’t say soccer was/is his life, but like it kinda is. it takes up a lot of his time and thoughts. if he’s not playing soccer he’s probably out for a run or in the gym.

so he graduated with a degree in sports management from ucla, cause if his career as a soccer player falls through. especially since he’s had injuries before and knows that certain injuries are career ending and he wants to do something within the sport even when he can’t plau. his dad has always lowkey wanted for him to take over the company but has also never outright not supported matias’ soccer dreams.

currently he’s playing soccer for the new york red bulls, which is a pretty sick deal and he’s just out here vibing to be honest.

PERSONALITY:

so matias is like a walking contradiction. on the outside he’s very grumpy and gives off a very snobby vibe, like he’s too good for you and like talking to you is a waste of time.

i’d say he’s an introverted mind stuck in an extroverted body. he like can’t help but socialize and talk to everyone but it’s not that he really wants to, in reality he’d rather just be left alone or with the few select he doesn’t mind having around. but has this energy that makes people think the opposite and also quite often is found smiling or cracking jokes lol. is rarely ever serious.

generally dislikes people, like immediately he’ll find something to dislike about someone, maybe he’ll be forced to realize it’s bullshit or maybe he’ll find even more to dislike, but he approaches anyone and anything with some level of dislike.

most of the negative shit stems from high school and realizing how shitty people actually are? like don’t get me wrong, he was like the golden boy and he loves attention pls, but high school was definitely where he started to like realize how fake all these rich people are, and like developed this facade to play along with them. definitely changed a lot in high school, least on the outside.

he’s very much a mama’s boy. full of energy and curiosity. honestly, quite caring when it comes down to it, even if he doesn’t actually give a shit, he will try and cheer up a stranger and make sure someone is okay, even if he miserably fails, he will try. very observational??? will notice even the slightest change in people, not always he acts on it or acts the right way on it tho, but yeah.

honestly, probably falls in love like five time a day and then the next day he’s over it. but when he falls he falls, like flat on his face.

he’s very straight forward, also very good at covering insults and shit up with jokes. if he doesn’t like you though, you’ll know, he wont try to hide that.

he’s mostly down to earth though, appreciates a good party and hanging with the boys getting some beer. enjoys giving out shitty advice, don’t ever listen to him he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, talks just because he can.

is honestly pretty flirty but it’s rarely on purpose, if he actually likes you he probably doesn’t know what to say and he’ll easily just wrap around your finger. boi where’s your backbone...

HEADCANONS/TIDBITS:

doesn’t have any sense of time, if you wanna invite him to something, do invite him an hour early and he might make it on time, that is unless he got a better offer.

soccer wise he’s centre midfielder.

although his family is pretty known in the socialite and business world matias has managed to stay out of the news except for one time when he was vacaying in the hamptons with some friends and they accidentally sped across fragile dunes and the protected nesting area of the piping plover, on ATV’s. it is basically the most powerful resident in the hamptons and it’s a bird. anyway he was taken to court but since they hadn’t found evidence of the bird on their ATV’s they weren’t charged with anything.

drives an audi rs7 sportsback in red because he’s just such an audi driver like….do i even have to explain?? such an audi driver.

very important! he has a son, called thor, he’s a one year old belgian malinois and he’s everything. the apple of his eye. definitely spends more time on his dog than any actual person. click here for thor.

in this universe he’s taller than cody actually is, ‘cause he’s a midget, so you know, here he’s a nice height akgha. like 6ft or something

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

ex(es) honestly give me all of it, the boy is stupit so that alone is enough of a reason to break it off. nah but honestly, it could’ve been one that stung a bit ‘cause if he really does invest in someone he’s actually not a terrible boyfriend. but yeah some relationships that didn’t end well, or some that did perhaps, idk. i’m here for it all.

hook-ups, because that’s fun and we all gotta hoe it out sometimes.

some sort of friends to lovers??? will they wont they???

his sisteeeer *eyes*

teammates?

rivals? enemies? just a general dislike i imagine, matias can be rather hard to work with and be around because he’s annoying tbh so yeah.

i’m gonna add a tag for wanted connections at one point fo sure.

[80alleycats]

Dee Day Thoughts and Analysis

Preface: For those who don’t know, I’m a homoromantic asexual woman of color (mostly black).

Anyways, unlike many folks on Tumblr, I did not have too much of a problem with this episode. It did feel kinda..”eh”...and it could have been much better, but I had some laughs and laughed more with this episode than last week’s episode.

Here are my thoughts on the controversies of the episode. They might help some hate the episode and/or RCGMegan less:

1. Yellow/Brown Face – When I first saw those costumes I was like “Oh, we’re doing that again.” But it didn’t surprise me too much. This has been a part of the show for a long time and the racist caricature characters are “old” characters (i.e. known to the audience and not new caricatures created for shits and giggles), so I’m kind of shocked that people are so shocked by this.

I love RCGMegan, but RCGMegan are just…white as fuck. As a person of color, my standards are low for white people. (I HATE that this sounds racist but y’all know what I’m talking about) Like, I can’t even be mad about it. I’m just glad that there were attempts™ to point out the racism and the shittiness of Dee’s characters, which is something they’ve always done as well.

I think RCGMegan really meant well. It’s PURE SPECULATION but it’s possible that that’s why they hired Pete Chatmon, a black man, to direct the episode. White people sometimes think that if they add a person/people of color to their group and they don’t say “PLEASE DON’T DO THIS THIS IS FUCKING DUMB” what they are doing is okay.

And even though this is PURE SPECULATION on my part, I think RCGMegan’s wellmeaningness is one of the reasons that Pete Chatmon chose to do the job and posted on Instagram that he had a good experience working with RCG and co.

I think RCGMegan were attempting to be “silly classic hijinks” Sunny but also “woke” Sunny but they are…white as fuck and sometimes just do not “get” it. (I get the vibe from interviews that they mentally/emotionally separate the show from themselves and from reality.) I hope they learn to chill out with the yellow/brown/red face one day because, even ignoring the racism issue, it’s SO BORING, but I don’t expect them to because…they are white as fuck. Some white people figure it out and stop doing awkward shit. But some just…don’t. Especially when they have a long history of doing questionable things.

For a person of color to be a fan of this show, we/they have to accept the nature of this show or just stop watching it. Those are the only real choices and both choices are valid.

I’ll admit that I think the “Asian driver” joke was actually somewhat funny because the purpose of the joke was to highlight the phenomenon of white people acting like they aren’t racist when they actually are and are too stupid and delusional to realize it (i.e. benevolent racism). I love attempts™ at highlighting benevolent racism because of the subtle and insidious nature of it.

__

2. Predatory Gay Mac – I get where people are coming from, but I feel like Mac’s homosexuality wasn’t the joke. I feel like the joke was that Mac was being a goofy idiot who happens to love Dennis, but can’t always express it properly. (example: Mac trying to get Dennis to get on stage with him so he could maybe kiss him…which is the kind of harebrained scheme you’d expect from a goofball 1st grader with a crush and not a full-grown 40 year old man)

Mac’s behavior in this episode was similar to Charlie’s messy over-the-top behavior towards the Waitress in previous episodes.

There was also the dual joke of Mac trying to “one-up” Charlie and so veering into accidental innuendo territory. (example: Mac repeating the comment Charlie said to Dennis about wanting to get in Dennis’ pants)

Also, it’s canon that Mac is often gross when it comes to sexuality in general and I think they were playing with that as well (example: the social network episode where Mac asked the distraught woman about where to find her leaked nude photos).

Everyone in the gang is gross when it comes to sexuality. I feel like a lot of fans forget that Dennis and Dee are canon rapists who usually rape the opposite sex (and Dennis has literally sexually assaulted Mac before even though he considered it a prank). Being an equal member of the Gang, I’m not surprised the writers decided to pass the baton to Mac this episode and even then Mac’s behavior in this episode was fairly tame (in the context of this show LOL).

And FINALLY, even though Dennis protested Mac trying to get them to kiss, I never got the vibe that Dennis was extremely uncomfortable. I think it was just supposed to be a typical “Dennis is annoyed at Mac because Mac is being stupid” reaction. Mac gets on Dennis’ nerves sometimes, but Dennis loves and accepts him and all his weird and stupid behavior. I don’t believe it’s even possible for Mac to make Dennis extremely comfortable. Like, these two are pretty much a hivemind…

__

3. Charlie and Dennis Kiss Scene - I TOTALLY GET THE DISCOMFORT WITH THIS. And while the second kiss was actually a surprisingly good kiss (Charlie and Glenn can ACT), the scene wasn’t really funny. It was just like “Why? What am I supposed to be getting from this?”

One criticism I’ve seen is that the scene was saying two men kissing is gross (i.e. homophobia). But I don’t think that was the purpose. It honestly reminded me of the awkward attempted kiss scene between Mac and Dee when they were playing characters in one of the lethal weapon episodes.

Another criticism I’ve seen is that Dee (who, as we know, raped Charlie) forced two child abuse victims to kiss. VALID CRITICISM. But when it comes to the characters: they just don’t give a shit. Charlie still hangs out with Dee and considers her a friend (which is COMPLETELY different than how he sees Uncle Jack). Dennis loves her and hangs out with her. Notice that they were more concerned with coming across as homophobic (which is so, so stupid but typical of them) and they hated that they had cheese breath.

And keep in mind that even though it was Dee Day and they were “supposed” to do what she says, they didn’t have to. They treat Dee like garbage 364 days of the year with little remorse and she always come back to them. I feel like the implication is that they CHOSE to do the kiss, considered it gross but didn’t consider it a big deal, and would not compare it to their child abuse experiences.

Dee’s behavior analysis: The previous season’s Mac/Charlie/Frank orgy with the Dennis doll that she watched permanently fucked her up. Like, she knows she’s making the Gang uncomfortable, but she’s lost the ability to comprehend how abnormal her behavior is. Boundaries are gone in her mind. In her mind, she’s simply teasing them and they’ll be fine no matter what happens.

I know people identify with the characters because of their personal experiences and I get that. I get that people have strong feelings about these characters and it’s totally understandable and valid. But I think we have to be careful not to project too much on the characters and instead try to keep in mind how the characters are instead of how we think they are. Like, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has a ton of dark elements, but it’s a relatively upbeat show that often doesn’t take itself too seriously.

This is PURE SPECULATION but I got the vibe from the second kiss that “someone” (possibly Megan?) wanted to do a CharDen scene but needed to do it in the spirit of IASIP (awkward situations + the Gang willing to do anything if they are passionate enough about it) and that scene was the result. It’s also possible that it was the result of some kind of RCG “in-joke” that they didn’t realize might not translate very well on the screen to certain audience members.

At the end of the day, I think it was just supposed to be a goofy “lolwut the Gang is so wacky” scene and it’s not meant to be psychoanalyzed the way certain things on the show are.

 __

4. Dennis Without His Make-Up – I get people’s concerns about this. But the show has occasionally made fun of Dennis’ self-esteem issues concering his looks throughout the show, so this is nothing new. I feel that the scene was designed to make you feel sorry for Dennis, but also it was supposed to just be classic Sunny. Like him hitting on the congresswoman wasn’t just funny because he looked “off,” but because he just kept saying weird and awkward shit to her (similar to the scene in Season 13 where he was trying and failing to hit on the fantasy baseball woman). 

And keep in mind that the rest of the Gang kept reassuring Dennis that he looked fine even after the scheme, which was sweet. The same cannot be said about Dee. She’s received a lot more abuse from the Gang and only scraps of affection and reassurance from them to the point where she always lights up when they show her basic kindness. If Dee (and we) can handle Dee’s abuse, Dennis (and we) can handle Dennis’ abuse. And, as mentioned above, he did not have to remove his make-up. He chose to do it and he chose to deal with the consequences of that. But he’ll be fine.

 __

5. There was not enough focus on Dee – 100% agree. Nothing else to add. LOL.

[pauonabudget-blog]

Siquijor 2019

Tada!!! After 7 (??) years, I am back doing my first love - blogging. So for my first entry (again), I wanna share with you my solo travel adventure to Isla de Fuego aka Siquijor Island. It’s my 2nd solo travel for this year (6th overall) and I must say it is one of my favorites! (PS all photos are mine unless stated otherwise hehe). Btw I went to Siquijor June 16-18, 2019. All currencies stated are in Philippine Pesos

HOW DID I GET THERE?

Since I am always on the look out for piso fares, I got my roundtrip tickets Manila-Dumaguete-Manila for roughly 1,600.00 during Cebu Pacific’s snap sale (99.00 base fare). Not bad.

From Dumaguete airport, there are tricycles/habal habals (single motorcycles) that can take you to Dumaguete Port. If you don’t have that much of luggage with you (or if you are still not so sure on your haggling skills), it’s best that you find your preferred mode of transportation OUTSIDE of the airport since the drivers on the airport  tend to overcharge. 

Okay so once you have hailed a driver, tell him to drop you off at the ticketing counter of your preferred ferry going to Siquijor, So in my case, I told the habal to drop me off at Oceanjet ticketing office. Ticketing office is walking distance from the port entrance. To be on the safe side also, you can purchase your return trip ticket as well to avoid hassle on the day you’re going back to mainland Dumaguete.

<Schedule and ticket price of June 2019>

Oceanjet from Dumaguete port to Siquijor port is roughly 50 mins to 1 hour. Just a reminder: Dumaguete port is really wavy. I don’t get dizzy easily but man Dumaguete port tested me lol. Before stepping inside the port, you need to pay P13.00 (I forgot what is it for lol but there is a window beside the port entrance). The port itself is clean and spacious by the way and there are kiosks there for those who’ll go hungry while waiting for the scheduled boat trips.

Once you arrive at Siquijor Port, there are tricycles/habal habals waiting outside the port. Up to you what you’ll take. Being a solo traveller and having just one backpack, I contracted a habal to take me to my accommodation and tour the whole island. Kuya Elbert (my habal driver/ tour guide. VERY NICE) and I have agreed for P800.00 for a whole island tour plus him bringing me to my accommodation and to the port. I also paid for his lunches and snacks. Kuya Elbert  +639068382558

<Arrival at Siquijor Port (the water is so clear that I wanted to jump right in)>

<Outside of Siquijor Port>

WHERE DID I STAY?

I stayed at JJ’s Backpackers Village (As recommended by the British solo traveller I met on Siargao). They have bunk beds there for 400/night. One dorm room contains 6 beds (2 single beds and 2 double deck beds) and a bathroom (decent, clean, well maintained, working flush lol). The hostel also has its own in-house restaurant and bar so there’s no need to worry of going hungry lol. But the real selling point of JJ’s Backpackers is the killer beach front since it is along Solangon Beach. It’s very chill and relaxing that I can just lay in the hammock all day and do nothing kind of vibe. 

<Beach front of JJ’s Backpackers>

<Do not disturb mood>

<Dorm room 400/night> PS bring your own padlocks for the lockers.

You may contact them at +639989704452 or go to their Facebook page

WHERE DID I GO?

Siquijor Island is so small that you can tour it in less than a day. There are even some travellers that do daytour and then goes back to Dumaguete. Here are the highlights of my habal tour:

1. SALAGDOONG BEACH

This is where the famous cliffdiving site in Siquijor is located. For those who want that jolt of adrenaline rush on the body, this is your place to go. I chickened out the last minute because the jump site is so high and scary hahaha so I opted to stay on the shore and swim. There is an entrance fee going here (I think 30 pesos but correct me if I am wrong).

2. PALITON BEACH

The beach where you can find the instagram worthy palm tree shots. When I was here, I can’t believe how chill and peaceful it is here. There are also locals who is standing by the famous palm tree that is ready to assist you on your creative instagram photo (just don’t forget to give them a tip - I gave P50.00). My favorite beach of all beaches!! Free entrance!!

3. CAMBUGAHAY FALLS

I fell in love with Cambugahay falls. The water is unbelievably blue like it will take your breath away. So for this destination, Kuya Elbert stayed on the motorcycle parking as there was a designated tour guide going down the falls (it has different levels btw). We went there as early as 7:00AM (normally there is an entrance fee but when we got there, the collector was still not on his post so that means it is FREE again lol). So yeah trying going there early plus also to avoid large crowds as it gets pretty crowded around 9:00 am onwards. So after frolicking in the blue waters and braving the tarzan swing, time to go up again. I gave my guide P100.00 plus I paid the motor parking P10.00

4. CENTURY OLD BALETE TREE AND FISH SPA

I did not try the fish spa since I am a ticklish person but the fishes were big so no thanks lol. The tree looks enchanting tho but I like the one in Baler. There is also a souvenir shop beside it. You can buy shirts, ref magnets, voodoo doll keychains and the infamous love potion in a bottle. 

5. HAPITANAN CAFE AND RESTAURANT

I didn’t do the famous broomstick photo because I was not in the mood lol. But I did chill for a little bit on their backyard.

WHERE TO EAT

So for 3 days, this is how I survived lol

DAY 1

Breakfast - Cinnabon sticks and coffee from the airport (<300.00)

Lunch - 2 pcs chicken with rice and bottled water bought from one of the Dumaguete Port kiosk (P80.00)

Dinner - A hearty plate of gnocchi from Dolce Amore. This is the first time I tasted Gnocchi and it was da bomb!!! (plus their homemade chocolate cake and homemade coconut gelato - shared by us 3 roommates). My plate of gnocchi was P180.00 but it was so worth it! The desserts cost were split between us 3. (Spent around 285.00 for my meal)

<Me with my roommates Elo (Brazil - jumper) and Maria (Spain - red top)>

DAY 2

Breakfast - Leftover cinnabon sticks (I still have 4 sticks left lol) plus coconut juice (40.00 for the coconut juice of Kuya Elbert and I)

Lunch - Kuya Elbert and I ate at an eatery at downtown. Hearty lunch for 2 is at P200.00

2 cans of beer - P120.00

Dinner - Beef burger with homemade patties at JJ’s (P180.00)

DAY 3 (I took the first trip of Oceanjet back to Dumaguete 6:00 AM since I have a 10:15am flight back to Manila)

Breakfast - Sansrival Bistro Dumaguete  (continental Filipino Breakfast) - (P220.00) *walking distance from Dumaguete port*

Lunch - Since our flight was delayed for 2.5 hours, we had free lunch from Jollibee (FREE)

TAKE NOTE

1. Bring sunblock and cap

2. INSECT REPELLENT IS A MUST. Mosquitoes there are annoying as f*ck. Off lotion will not be enough

3. Always make sure to have your phones and powerbanks fully charged since there are schedules of power interruption on the island.

4. Be friendly to the locals and also to your fellow travellers.

5. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR RUBBISH ALONG THE BEACH. Throw them properly.

To end my post, I won’t be able to give exact amount but I can give you my DIY itinerary. I think 5,000.00 will be enough for 3 days as long as you have prepared your expenses. Let me know if you have questions.

Siquijor became one of my favorite destinations. Mark my words: I will be back!

[heymichaelbuckley]

I stopped drinking alcohol

8 weeks ago, I stopped drinking. It was one of the easiest and best things I have ever done.  You know how much I loved my Vodka and Prosecco so let me explain. I wasn't going to post about is but I do see the value in sharing it so here we go. Also, if I had read this post in 2015 I would have rolled my eyes and said “QUITTER”! Ha! I am fine with any and all reactions to this post.

Looking back, I was never a drinker. I drank very little in college. Maybe a wine cooler here and there. I certainly was never drunk.  Maybe tipsy at a cast party once? Godspell was intense yo! I was not a drinker much in my twenties. I would go out and have a few beers or White Russians but never was alcohol something I thought about or pursued.  I really didn't become a drinker until 36/37years old.

Around 2012 I started drinking heavily and often. We had a house on Cape Cod.  I loved entertaining. I loved drinking.  I had been doing YouTube for a few years and working from home and pretty isolated and suddenly had lots of real life friends and the drinking was a big part of it. I had the time and money and lack of direction that made it easy to fall into.

By 2014, my marriage was ending and my career was boring so I was drinking a lot to numb, to ignore my feelings, to avoid communicating properly with my ex husband. I knew what I was doing. This is not like I woke up this year and realized this - hyper self-aware as always, even while drunk.

2015 the party continued. I was "celebrating" single life and my new independence.  I also was deep in YouTube funk so would much rather have a friend over and day drink vs. make another stupid video about a Kardashian. The online persona I had created taunted and tortured me.

This was the time alcohol really tricked my brain to think it was helping.  Oops! Sneaky alcohol! In my defense, I was on Cape Cod, I could have easily turned to Heroin! Jokes!

By the spring of 2016 I wanted to stop. Maybe? Not really. Or at least drink less. I did. For a week. Maybe two.  All through the rest of 2016, I was mindful of how much I was drinking. Trying to count drinks on my calendar. It was tedious. I hated it. I cried about it. Prayed about it. Journaled about it. Obsessed about it. Took online quizzes to see if I had a drinking problem. Pretty much everyone does if you take that quiz!! HA!!

I really gave so much power to alcohol. Posted on Facebook about it. And when 1 or 2 people expressed they were glad I had stopped drinking so much it totally annoyed me and made me want to drink more. Haha!!!!  Of course I wrote back "thank you for your concern" but I wanted to write back "Go fuck yourself."  HaHa!!!

I was never a drink 1-3 drinks drinker so cutting back was not enjoyable. I didn't want a glass of Prosecco. I wanted a bottle. Or three. I have always been a very fast drinker. Alcohol, soda, water, I am always chugging something.  We would go out to breakfast and the waitress would bring me 2 diet cokes right away knowing I would down them and want more.

And my tolerance for booze was nuts (especially for someone so tiny!......I'm being funny). I could drink so much and was certainly proud at YouTube events when others were hurting and looking at me like "How is Buck not hungover "? Thanks for all the free drink tickets. Love you! Haha!

I started being very aware of people on Facebook who had stopped drinking and quietly took inventory how great their life had improved. Thank you. Many of you know who you are as I have reached out privately. I love Facebook!

By January of this year, life was going very well.  I launched my coaching business. I was making the money and having the success I had not experienced in 3 to 4 years. I was happy, fulfilled and had purpose, yet I was still drinking a lot.

I was behaving like 2015 me but living a very different life so it seemed silly 2017 me was still getting hammered. A drunk YouTuber seemed fine to me. A drunk Life Coach did not.

Alcohol no longer served me or suited me and yet I continued to drink lots.

I knew I was drinking more than I needed or wanted to but my lower brain had full control.

Quitting sounded boring. I loved Bloody Mary's at the airport didn't I?

I would watch Real Housewives and see Kim or Eden talk about being sober woman and I thought ewwww. LOL. That won't be me. Mind you I think alcohol is the least of their problems. ROFLMAO!!!!!!

I was life coaching my clients and all the work I did with them certainly rubbed off on me.  I wanted to show up to each call as my best self and as a role model to them. That person is not a drunk.

I had a client tell me about a book he read called Stop Drinking Now, the Alan Carr EasyWay.  He said he had no desire to ever drink alcohol again.

Two days later I read the book and became a " Happy non-drinker"!  I love that term. I have given up nothing. Nothing.

It has been effortless. I haven't stopped smiling since. If you asked why I stopped I could tell you 20 reasons. I couldn't think of one reason to continue to drink.

Not one.

I continue to go out. I love being the designated driver. I have people over. I make the, drinks. I go to happy hour. I am still the life of the party. Lord knows I never needed alcohol to make me less inhibited. I continue to take my shirt off for no reason and talk about sex with strangers. Haha!!!!

We drove a stranger home the other day who was puking in the parking lot. I was not annoyed. I was grateful i had no interest in alcohol and could be helpful to someone the way others had been helpful to me.  

My skin looks better.  I'm sleeping better.  My weight had gotten up to 170 (I like to weigh 150 to 155 - so yes there was some vanity here!) The quality of my relationships and interactions is better. My self-respect and confidence are at an all time high. Everything is so clear now. My focus, my creativity, my general mood, everything is heightened and joy filled.  

I will save I would guess 10k a year in all the drinks I used to buy. 10k!!!! At least. I am showing up for my life everyday. Drinking was my buffering and truly delayed me beginning my life's great work.

So that's my update.  I have zero regrets. I had a great run! I was mostly fun/totally affectionate drunk. Right? Haha! It suited me to drink for a few years. This was the perfect time to stop. It all lined up just right.

I miss nothing about drinking. Nothing. I'll drink seltzer in a champagne flute to be festive. I liked the festive glass all along more than what was in it.

2017 me has grown and evolved so much. Being a "happy non-drinker" is the cherry on top! I love the semantics of that. It hits my brain in the right spot. I have quit nothing.

I also had given up diet soda so easily my brain had done lots of the work to prepare for this. The pre-frontal cortex is powerful once you get it working! Now I am rambling.....

I would love to write more about the book because it was magical. Truly one of the easiest things I have ever done in my life is stop drinking because of it. But I don't want to be preachy about that stuff but pick it up if you are interested. It's amazing. Feel free to private message me if you want to chat more in depth about it. Happy to answer any questions in the comments too.  I simply trained my brain to be a non -drinker just as easily as I trained it to be a drinker. Easy? Yes. I always tell my clients it is just as easy to think lovely thoughts about yourself as it is to think shitty thoughts about yourself. Okay that is enough.

This is a wonderful time in my life. I am so excited for what is next. I am so excited for you to meet this version of myself- totally authentic and totally not buffering. Thank you for reading. Love, MB

[pussyapocalypse]

First Mass Effect: Andromda impressions, now that I’m sixteen hours in and not going to play again until tomorrow (thanks, Panic! At the Disco!  Makes for a great week).

Potential spoilers under the cut!

- The facial animations are...not great, but it’s not really detracting from the game.  Kind of horrifying when someone tries to grin but it’s not so hard to get over.  Graphics are okay, but I don’t like close-ups on human faces because they’re...blotchy.  I foresee playing in 4k making a difference, but I didn’t plan ahead far enough to get the PS4 Pro.

-  The game definitely reminds me of ME1.  At first, this was kind of annoying, but it’s starting to grow on me because now I’m seeing the resemblance to the way the worlds in Inquisition were laid out.  There’s just so much world, too, but the fetch quests aren’t quite as grating as Inquisition.  It’s less gathering items to give to someone and more...hey, there’s a shield over there.  Go look at it.  You looked at it?  Great.  Quest over.  

-  I have a mission called ‘kicking rocks for science’.  It was given to me by a Turian scientist who asked me if I wanted to kick rocks for science.  I love it.  I’ve only kicked two rocks for science.

- I love Gil.  My love for Gil grows more and more with each passing interaction.  He did randomly ask me if I want to have kids someday and I can’t romance him, but he’s great and he’s officially my friend.  He beat me in poker because I was honorable and didn’t cheat but if we play again I’m taking him down.

- Gil is afraid of Jaal because Jaal is the best poker player on the ship, next to him.  

-  I might have to fight Peebee for Jaal, ‘cause I get the feeling we’re both down with the squid-cat-man and he’s already told me how he enjoys flirting with me and he has also agreed to get to know me better.  I love it, I love him, but I would fuck my way through all of Aya if I thought our thing wasn’t gonna work out.  Something about the squid-cat-man.  Pretty eyes, very pretty eyes.

-  Cora annoys me.  I hate to say it, but Cora sucks so far.  I am a huge fan of overpowered women and people being with groups they wouldn’t have been in if they weren’t overpowered/super-competent, but every other fucking word out of her mouth is ‘oh, it’s so hard to be so overpowered’ or ‘everyone called me a freak growing up’ or ‘asari this asari that huntress commando blah blah’.  I am cautiously optimistic that she’ll grow on me, when she moves beyond this, and I know she’s not happy that my dad picked me to be Pathfinder instead of her.  That’s fair, I get it.  It just feels like she’s trying to prove how much more qualified she is, until she breaks out the line that she’s always had a plan to follow.  It’s never ‘here’s what I would do’, it’s always ‘what would your dad/the Asari do’.  She wants to be leader but I think she’s better suited to being pointed in a direction and told to fuck shit up.  As long as it’s a tactically sound command, anyway.

-  I got to tell someone I was going to fuck their shit up.  Verbatim.  Loved it.

-  I have a lot of Cora thoughts.  I wanted to like her so badly, and I do understand what I’ve seen of her character so far.  Grew up feeling like a freak, always different, taken on this grand adventure where her mentor immediately dies and instead of taking the crown it’s handed off to someone she sees as significantly less likely to get shit done--but I can only see her faltering if she were actually made Pathfinder, like she’d always be second-guessing herself.  Kaidan had a similar background - crazy strong, grew up feeling like a freak, had a lot of tragedy in his early life because of his biotics, but his self-assurance makes all the difference.

-  Maybe there should’ve been a designated chain of command instead of my dad going ‘here put this AI in your head everything will be fine’.  I watched RvB - it was not fine.  None of it was fine.  A chain of command would have fixed half my problems with Cora if she never had expectations of taking the helm.  Unless, of course, the chain of command went dad > Cora and she is rightfully pissed off that my piece of shit dad was like lol nvm.  As far as I can tell, it was only implied that she might be Pathfinder if anything happened to him, but I’m not 100% sure.  I am only sixteen hours in.

-  You know who I actually outright hate in this game?  Foster Addison.  Holy shit, Foster Addison sucks.  “I’m not your new mother” what the fuck does that mean you piece of shit?  I don’t want you to be my new mother!  Wtf.  I hate her.  Cora is an angel compared to Foster Addison.  

-  Maybe Cora doesn’t suck.  Maybe I think she sucks because she’s bitter about shit and she’s handling it the same way I do in rl, by complaining.  I don’t know.  This is either bad writing or it’s too early in the game for her to really move on from that disappointment.  As my Ryder, though, I’d probably throw her out the airlock because I can only assume I loved my dad and hearing her go on and on about ‘what would your dad do’ has to get grating.  Like, dad’s dead, bro’s in a coma, I talked to bro once and he’s kind of upset that he’s in a coma and dad’s dead and our golden world was actually a shit world.  I got things going on in my life too.  I’ll have to contemplate Cora more; it says something, in a way, that she’s the one I’ve put the most thought into so far.

- My roommate’s playing m!Ryder to my f!Ryder.  Apparently he has webbed toes, but only a few, and I had wisdom teeth but he doesn’t.

- Jaal is the most critical of my driving, but he’s very gentle about it.  It still hurts my feelings.  I’m assuming my Ryder never took so much as a Driver’s Ed class because jesus fucking christ.

- I tried to screech into a Kett encampment in the Nomad to run a few over before shootin’ ‘em dead.  The encampment was on a cliff and I was going too fast.  I didn’t hit any of them before promptly flinging the Nomad over the cliff.  It was not dignified.

So far?  I like the game a lot; the story is interesting and I’m constantly unsure of what decisions to make because I don’t know how it’ll impact the future; having this uncertainty is great, though, because I miss my actions having consequences.  I also like that I am consistently referred to as an alien by the Angarans because, yeah, we’re definitely the outsiders here.  Interesting to see how that unfolds.

I’m actually kind of bummed I can’t play again until tomorrow/that I had to stop early last night, but I get to see Panic! At the Disco and it’s going to be worth it.

[canaryatlaw]

okay, I should start writing. today was fine., boring, nothing very exciting. I woke up at like 12:50ish after waking and rolling over and going back to sleep a few times. I spent a while eating breakfast and getting ready while planning a course for my day’s accomplishments. Once I ate and was ready to go I headed out. Walked over to the main street which was under construction, but I waited at the bus stop until it came, and took it a few stops down to where the comic book shop is in order to buy C2E2 tickets. The distance I took the bus wasn’t actually very far and I could’ve walked it, but I was going to have to walk the second part of my journey, so I figured I should use public transit while I could. Bought two tickets for Saturday and Sunday, then got back on the next bus and took it a few stops down before getting off and starting to walk east to where the post office is. There’s no bus that goes in between the parallel streets that have most of the businesses with homes in between, so you just have to walk it, but it’s not that bad of a walk (I used to do it home from class every day) and thankfully it was actually bordering on being nice out (it was like 49) so that was a good thing. Once I got to the post office I assessed the line and decided to see if I could do all of my business on the automated machine, which would make things much easier. These are mailing out the autographs from LFCC to people who wanted them, so I had to weigh the big envelope and then type in the address details, then hit the button to not give me the big label with the details printed, just give me the little postage one because I already wrote the address out, lol. One person needed tracking so theirs took a bit more effort but for the most part it wasn’t bad. The touch screen wasn’t very sensitive, and I ended having to kind of whack it with my knuckle in order for it to actually register that I hit something, so my finger was a bit sore by the end lol. Once I had all the postage for the autographs done I got one for a normal letter envelope I had to send to some bar association for something, I don’t even know but I had run out of stamps so I couldn’t just stick it in the mailbox by me, and after I got that I bought some stamps so I would have some going forward. When I got inside the post office and took my coat off I immediately started overheating because my body is annoying and likes to do that, so by the time I went back outside I just didn't put my coat back on because I was still kinda sweaty (ugh). There was a man panhandling out front and I knew while I was at the machine the window was right there so he could see what I was doing the whole time, I had already pulled out a dollar to give him and when I walked out he made a joking comment about getting work done and I laughed and told him I already had a dollar for him, which he laughed and appreciated. I decided to uber pool home because i was sweaty and didn’t want to walk more at this point, it did the annoying thing again where it was like “stay in your spot, your driver will pick you up there!” but the driver would be coming on the wrong side of the road which keeps ended up in me being fucked over and having to jaywalk across busy streets so once I saw that I was like oh fuck no so I messaged the driver and was just like “I’ll be across the street so you can actually just pick me up” to which she responded with the thumbs up emoji, so that went more smoothly. I wasn’t paying attention when I was getting dropped off though so I ended up getting dropped in the intersection that’s not an actual intersection and ended up having to walk back around rather than jaywalk again but it wasn’t a big deal. Got home and I needed to get started on my other goal for the day, which was finishing up the twix bars I’ve been making. At this point they were a sheet of cookie topped by a layer of caramel, so first I needed to cut them into bars so I can cover them in chocolate. I had been keeping them in the fridge so the caramel was fairly hard, so it took some waiting and a lot of effort to actually cut them into bars, but ultimately I succeeded. At that point though the caramel was getting kind of soft though and for them to be dipped in chocolate it’s probably better if they’re harder, and also I was tired, so I stuck them back in the fridge and decided to finish them tomorrow. I went to the couch and watched last night’s episode of The Flash, which I will say was pretty good, definitely had the design of being one of their more iconic episodes, and I definitely called the turn at the end, but it was still really dang good, so I was happy with that. For some reason I was really craving fried rice, so I ordered some from the Chinese place I like and ate that while I was watching Riverdale, which was ridiculous as always. Once that was over I watched a few episodes of The Americans before turning the news back on and watching some Jimmy Kimmel before starting to get ready for bed and now I am here. It’s past 1:30 am now and I am getting very sleepy, so I am going to go to bed now. Goodnight peeps. Stay golden.

[surveystodestressme]

59.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 14

1301. Can “what you don’t know” actually hurt you? i mean, no. 1302. Are you pondering what I’m pondering? probably not 1303. What people or objects would you describe as “pure”? babies, uhh... idk what else 1304. Are you into bookcrossing (If you aren’t sure, check out www.bookcrossing.com)? no idea what that is 1305. Have you ever had a pen pal? yep! i think i have one now except we just talk online instead of sending letters

1306. Have you ever had a package pal (same as a pen pal but you send each other surprise gifts instead of letters)? that’d be so cool but no 1307. Is there a particular word or phrase that annoys you? i hate when people say “i haven’t seen you in a minute” that shit is SO annoying to me 1308. Is there an online game you like to play? i like to play tons of online games 1309. What group of people is the most discriminated against in your opinion or experience? recently it’s been black people, at least in the area that i live in. 1310. What do you like best about bras and underwear? the designs or fabrics 1311. Are you afraid of living in oblivion? kind of 1312. Before you were born you got to pick your life from one of these. Which do you pick? You are successful from the start, a musical genius, good looking, wealthy. You become a rock tar, get super famous, make your mark on the world and die at 27. You are caring and compassionate. You love animals and adopt more and more as you grow older. You foster and nurture and care for them all of your life. <—- this one because I LOVE ANIMALS AND WANT TO DO THIS IN MY LIFE CURRENTLY ANYWAYS You sit home playing video games for 70 years. 1313. What is broken in your: Car? the check engine light is always on but i think it’s a messed up sensor or something (not my car tho just the one i drive from time to time) School? the vending machine gets my food stuck in it alll the time and i have to put extra money in House? our upstairs shower is caulked correctly so it leaks into the shelving and it sucks Life? my motivation. Soul? my lack of ambition??? idk Brain? i just have anxiety if that counts 1314. Which one will you fix first? the shower would be nice 1315. Tell me all your thoughts on god: i do not believe that there is a god.  i think religion is very interesting to learn about but i do not believe there is some magical man in the sky who controls the world and watches over everything.  that seems a little farfetched to me 1316. What is the strangest note you’ve ever received? uhhh i don’t know.  i used to send notes to my friend in pig latin when we were in middle school 1317. Of the following how many can be used to get in touch with you? Phone Beeper Voice mail Email Cell phone Snail mail all but the beeper. 1318. Are you always available/easy to reach, or do you give people a chance to miss you? i’m usually pretty easy to get ahold of 1319. If you got pregnant or impregnated the person you are with now (hypothetical if there is no one in your life just now) would you lean more towards keeping, adopting out, or aborting the baby? i have so many problems with this question because i feel like i wouldn’t know unless i was in the situation.  i do not ever want kids.  i want to say that if i got pregnant right now that i would put it up for adoption but i feel like i would probably have to abort it... 1320. If your partner in the pregnancy did not agree with how you felt and pressured you to change your mind or just went ahead with what he or she wanted to do against your wishes, would that affect your ability to continue your relationship with this person? he knows how i feel, and he agrees.  we’ve talked about it several times 1321. Who should have the final say in the decision to have a baby, the woman or the man? the woman 1322. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you for the first time, do you forgive him or her and take him or her back? i want to say that i’d leave him, but i know it would be hard 1323. What if it is your husband or wife that cheats on you? i’d get divorced because i would never be able to trust them again 1324. Who is more responsible for educating children, parents or schools? i feel like it should be a little of both.  there are tons of things that aren’t taught at schools and should be the responsibility of the parents to then teach at home 1325. Are you into new age things? yes. 1326. Are you very: Nervous? all the time Anxious? yeah High strung? on occasion Organized? most of the time Tense? sometimes. Rigid? i don’t think so Skeptical? nah. 1327. Do you perceive reality differently from others? How? i don’t know 1328. If you asked someone, “Do you masturbate?” and he or she says, “No,” would you assume he or she was lying? probably, tbh 1329. What do you blame things on? depends on the situation 1330. Do you want to be naked and famous? no???? 1331. Ice Cube or LL Cool J? ice cube 1332. What are your feelings about rap music? i'm okay with some of it 1333. Cypress Hill or Roxy Music? don;t know wither of these BSB or N'sync or NKOTB? bsb. Debbie Gibson or Paula Abdul? paula abdul Eminem or Kid Rock? eminem. Weezer or the Get Up Kids? weezer 1334. If you could solve just one of the world’s problems what would you choose to solve? cure for cancer. 1335. Would you make a good: Counselor? probably not, tbh. i give good advice but like sometimes i just don’t know what to say Visual artist? this would be cool but idk if it’s for me Teacher? no bc i hate kids Pilot? i’m afraid of heights lol Secretary? i feel like it would be too boring Cashier? i do a good job at that now Waiter or waitress? yeah Veterinary assistant? that’s what i’m going to school for !!!!!! so i hope so Office manager? yeah Stage manager? probably Actor or actress? i think i am a terrible actress plus i get so nervous in front of crowss Sales girl or guy? yes. Pizza delivery girl or guy? i wouldn’t mind it Film director? maybe Business man or woman? no CEO? no Surgeon? not for humans Fire man or woman? nope Cop? nooo. 1336. Do you check condoms to see if they are expired before using them? nope but i probably should 1337. Imagine you are in school and a person of the opposite sex you barely know asks you really nicely for a ride home from class (yes, you have a car). It’s out of your way. Do you say yes? not if i barely know them Let’s say you said yes. S/he hugs you. What is your reaction? since i barely know this person i would think this is really odd As you drop him or her off s/he hugs you again and thanks you for being such a nice person. What do you make of all this? i would think the hug is odd but i’d just say you’re welcome and drive off 1338. Are you interested in post-apocalyptic (post-nuclear war) movies? yeah 1339. What is the saddest movie you ever saw? romeo and juliet is pretty sad 1340. What is the saddest thought you can think of? watching someone you love die 1341. Who is the most horrible driver you know? me lol 1342. Are you a sexist in any way? nah 1343. How often do you check your email? as often as i can 1344. How often do you check your diary for notes? everyday 1345. If you had to read a biography about someone, who would you pick? morgan freeman 1346. Which of your friends and relatives has the most interesting life story? my grandparents 1347. What’s the matter with kids today? they’re not disciplined 1348. How do you feel about censorship? i don’t think we need censorship honestly 1349. What was on the last CD you burned? a bunch of 90s rap 1350. What movie should be released on DVD but hasn’t been released yet? i don’t really get dvds anymore 1351. Have you ever wished for wings that work? no 1352. Have you ever imagined that you are not really of this world? yeah sometimes 1353. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? two, actually.  one named stacey who always flew on a magic carpet.  and dawalls which were literally the walls.  my siblings and i talked to the walls when we were younger 1354. Do you still have imaginary friends? no. 1355. Do you enjoy reading children’s books? sometimes i guess 1356. Are you decadent? idk 1357. What would make you happy that money cannot buy? love. 1358. What would make you happy that money can buy? a new car 1359. Where do you hang out on your spare time? my house or jack’s 1360. Do you delight in minor euphoria? idk what that is. 1361. It’s (what time is it?) ______. 12:13 am Do you know where your: Mom is? at stef’s Dad is? at work First boyfriend or girlfriend is? i have no idea honestly Boy or girlfriend is? in the same room as me Best friend is? in the same room as me Soul mate is? in the same room as me Wallet is? in the same room as me, in my purse 1362. Who do you feel sorry for? no one right now 1363. What will you never say in front of your parents? there’s not much that i wouldn’t say in front of my parents 1364. Do you change your personality and behavior depending on who you are with? no 1365. Are you waiting for marriage to lose your virginity? lol no 1366. What year were you born? 1996 1367. What is your sign? aries 1368. What year did you/will you graduate from high school? 2014 1369. Do you use moisturizer? just recently started to 1370. On what parts of your body? my face and neck 1371. Are the 70’s back in style? lol not that i know of 1372. Do you read any magazines? no. 1373. Do you read before going to sleep at night? sometimes. 1374. Are you a music maker? nah 1375. Are you a dreamer of the dreams? i guess??? 1376. How do you feel about large corporations? whatever. 1377. How do you feel about people who are, “just doing their job”? ^ 1378. Which would you watch of these choices: Pitch black The mummy This Pretty woman 1380. About what percent of the time do you feel good about yourself? 80% 1381. Do you feel comfortable with other people (in social situations)? for the most part 1382. Do you have good friends/family relationships? yes. 1383. How do you control your tension and anxiety? i don’t lol 1384. Are you able to meet the demands of life and function in society? kind of 1385. Do you curb your feelings of hatred and guilt? sometimes 1386. Do you maintain a positive outlook? yes. 1387. Does knowing you enrich the lives of others? i couldn’t say 1388. What things do you cherish? the people i love, a roof over my head, food on my table, a job, school 1389. To what extent do you value diversity? very much so. 1390. What fascinates you? the world around me and what’s happening in it 1391. Do you appreciate nature? yeah 1392. If you could be someone else for a day who would you be? morgan freeman 1393. Would you ever consider ‘psychic surgery’ if you were ill? idek what that is How about voodoo? probably not Herbal remedies? maybe 1394. How effective do you feel meditation is? i’ve done it before, i mean it’s kind of relaxing 1395. How effective do you feel prayer is? not at all tbh 1396. How do you think that you (or anyone, for that matter) could pray without ceasing? idk 1397. Is religion a live option for you (that is, a possibility, something you are drawn to even if you have no belief)? i guess it could be 1398. What part of your body do you lavish the least attention and love on? tummy 1399. How many clocks are in your house? at least 10 1400. What topics would you like to see more of on this survey? different varieties

[purplesurveys]

176

Pick a word that starts with the third letter of your first name: Bicycle. The past 72 hours have you been under the influence? Yep. I was at my girlfriend’s place for Halloween last Saturday and their parents gave us two bottles of wine for ourselves. Gab has ridiculously high alcohol tolerance, and I’m the complete opposite. Three glasses in and I was doing yoga in their living room :( Had to stay the night there. What were you doing at ten last night? I believe I was on the verge of falling asleep. What was the last thing you drank? Water. Who was the last person you hugged? My girlfriend, who came over last night. 

Did you have a dream last night? Yes. I vaguely remember having to be the designated driver for seven people in my small hatchback, then I tossed them all out into the road since my car can’t contain that many people? I don’t know, hahaha I know there’s more to the dream but I’ve forgotten 99% of it by now. How many piercings do you have? Two. That’s one in each of my ears but ever since one got infected nine years ago, I stopped wearing earrings completely. If you could have something right now, what would it be? Korean barbecue. Have you ever had a panic attack? Quite often. Have your parents ever smoked pot? No, I know they are heavily against it. Last time you cried really really hard? Sunday, as always. I reserve that day for all of my crying. What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. Do you think your last ex deserves to die? No. Will your next kiss be a mistake? Not at all. Who texted you last? It was Gab. She’s really the only one who texts me nowadays, if not my mom... Who was the last person you talked to in person? My mom. I asked her to reserve the one cup of instant ramyeon we had around the house for me, since it always disappears when I’m craving it!!! Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? That’s a walk in the park, unless the partner turns out to be an asshole which is a different story. But otherwise, three months is essentially a small dot in the scheme of things. Have you lost friends in the past 3 years? Oh yeah. Sofie and Athenna I’ve cut contact with. Is tomorrow going to be a good day? If they announce that tomorrow is a no class day then yes, it will be a good day. Otherwise it would suck balls and I’m already calling it. Do you listen to music every day? Yes. Even on the days that I forget I have a Spotify, I can’t avoid the music on the radio. Are you listening to it right now? No, I had just closed it actually. My concentration becomes so bad if I decide to listen to music while already doing something else in the first place. When I realized I wasn’t moving on from one question because of the attention I was completely giving to what was currently playing, I just stopped my music altogether. Are you talking to anyone while doing this? No, I don’t think I can do that either; but generally, I avoid taking surveys when there are people around. Do you own more than one cell phone? I don’t. Whose phone number did you get last? Carmel. I got it by accident, since she meant to text someone else from the org but texted me instead, so I technically got her number. Have you ever been asked out? No. I know Mike liked me from a distance but never acted upon it, and Gab was always too chicken to do it herself. Your current relationship status? In a relationship. If you could go back in time and change something, would you? Just the little things like “I wish I hadn’t spent on this one dinner because then I could’ve been 250 pesos richer right now” LOL but never about the huge stuff. I believe there’s a reason those happened and I don’t want to interrupt. Ever had a near death experience? Yeah. Remember when I was going 60 kph and the asshole in front of me decides to go full stop for nothing? Fun stuff. What is something you do a lot? Procrastinate. If you could have one super power, what would it be? Time travel. I think I would never get tired of it. What do you usually order from Starbucks? Coffee makes me sleepy these days so I go for their pastries. My favorite one is their chocolate doughnut or their croissant. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? Yep. When I had too much wine last Saturday I had control of my girlfriend’s family’s remote control and we watched Spongebob. What are you eating or drinking at the moment? I’m not consuming anything. Do you speak any other language? Yes. Filipino is actually my first language. I learned English through books and my good friends Nickelodeon and Disney. What is your favorite smell? Curry.

When was the last time you gave/received a hug? Last night. Ever been kissed in the rain? No, I’d be bothered having my clothes all wet. What should you be doing? I have a paper due tomorrow but of course I’ll leave that to the last minute because I never learn. Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? Gab. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? My girlfriend’s, but with her family’s consent. Do you act differently around the person you like? I’m definitely more bubbly and protective, but it’s a huge change from before when I would turn into a completely different person. My voice would be higher, I’d move gingerly, I would be very shy around her. Nowadays I still act different, but it’s tremendously toned down when compared to before now that I’m much more comfortable around her. What is your natural hair color? Black. How many keys are on your key chain? Two. Front door and car. If you were given a canvas and watercolors, what would you paint? I wouldn’t. I’d give everything to my sister cause I know she’d have a ball with her new art stuff.  Whose mind, besides your own, would you like to control? Yikes, no thanks. Sounds creepy. What is the first thing you do when you get out of bed? I’d head to the bathroom and take a shower since all my first classes for the week start at 8:30. What are you thankful you are not doing right now? Being in school. What is your favorite kind of candy? I don’t know much about candy, but I do love Maltesers. I could eat a whole tub of those if they weren’t so expensive. What is your favorite thing about the beach? It looks like a painting. Every time.

If you were invisible, where would you go? Errrrr if I really had to make a choice I guess the rich people’s houses in my subdivision just to see what level of wealth they’re hiding in there? What is one object in your home that you are embarrassed to own? I don’t think I own anything I’m embarrassed by. Who is one person you wish you would have never met? Athenna. What is your favorite fruit? I can’t stand fruits. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Chocolate chip cookies that are soft. What do you need to get right now at the drug store? Our inventory’s good, thanks. What was the happiest age of your life? 16. What color looks best on you? Black. What is your favorite thing about being sick? I never ever ever get sick so I actually get a little excited when it happens to me...cause it’s like whoa!!! Right!!! This can actually happen!!! so I guess...that’s my favorite part? As sick as it sounds? (No pun intended.) What commercial do you find most annoying? I’m hugely unfamiliar with ads nowadays since I can’t remember the last time I’ve come face to face with a TV other than last Saturday. What was your favorite meal growing up? My grandma’s kare-kare was, is, and will always be the best thing to grace god’s green earth. What body part aches you the most right now? None, I’m doing pretty okay at the moment. What is the longest you have ever gone without a shower? Two to three days. What was your 1st alcoholic beverage? I think it was some kind of margarita. Are you getting along with your parents? Meh, it’s civil. I’ve never bonded with them and choose not to. Whats on your feet right now? Nothing. What do you think of your last ex? Are you a good speller? Yes. I think I even annoyed my English teacher in seventh grade since I always perfected her spelling tests. Idk, I guess I was always a word geek, if that’s even a thing. Is your hair curly or straight? Frizzy straight. Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you? She’s my girlfriend, and related very very distantly in the same family tree. Where is your phone? On my left. Last time you felt bad about something? Last night. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? I think so? I don’t know. It’s always possible. Do you mind sleeping on the floor? No. I did that a lot as a kid. Honestly, do you hate the last girl you were talking to in person? I dislike my mom when we are civil, hate her when she turns into the devil. Spell your name without an E? Robyn.

[canaryatlaw]

Well, today was kind of blah, mostly because I'm still in the same shitty mood from yesterday. And now that I'm back here even though I have a handle on most of my things I still feel ridiculously stressed out and can't stop my mind from racing and I could really use some fucking Xanax right now (I only say that because I'm awaiting my prescription for it from the company, I don't normally throw around comments like that). Ugh. But anyway. My alarm went off at 9:45 and I got up, got my things together and got ready, then ate some breakfast and my dad took me to the airport. I made it through all my goodbyes okay, despite having the feeling in my chest that tears were lurking right below the surface, waiting to be set off at the smallest trigger, but it somehow subsided and I was okay. The airport is small, so I made it through security and to the gate in no time. The first flight was fine, nothing spectacular. I mostly worked on my appellate brief, fixing citations and breaking up sentences (because I have a habit of making 4 line sentences, grammatically proper but I know my prof won't appreciate it) and just generally trying to get my word count up. We landed in Baltimore pretty soon and my next flight was in an hour, with the gate pretty close by to where I was. So I grabbed some sushi that looked appetizing from one of the places then sat at the gate and took advantage of the free wifi I finally managed to hack into without actually paying (it's not actual hacking, it's just knowing how to navigate the system). And with that wifi I looked up and downloaded the rest of the cases mentioned in the trial court fake opinion so I could use them for the second section of my paper. Flight boarded soon, and when we were in the air I started reading cases and working on them, and made a solid amount of progress. Landed after not too long, took for-fucking-ever for our bags to come, and then my uber app flipped out on me and kept saying my request wouldn't go through so I'm like fine whatever I'll use Lyft, so I do and the driver gets there a lot quicker than they usually do since the airport makes them wait in a special lot until they get a pick up. So I get in the car and we started chatting, apparently they had been leaving the airport after another pick up planning on going home but had their app on to see if they'd get anything going north towards where they lives and they got me haha so they turned around and so we went. And then I get a notification saying my uber driver was arriving now and I'm like ????? I bring up the app and it doesn't even have a trip going, so I'm like wtf....and then a few minutes later the poor guy calls wanting to know where I am and I'm just like....I didn't order an uber?? Haha it was strange. But my driver and I established pretty early on that we're both tumblr people, so that kind of set the level of understanding of each other for the rest of the conversation haha. So we talked about a lot of things, they talked about figuring out that they were non-binary and picking a new name, and of course we eventually got into religion and it's social effects and I was happy to hear that they were still actually a Christian even after having grown up in a crappy conservative Christian environment and dealing with all that shit. So they were telling me how much they love their church and I in turn told them how much I love my church, and yeah, it was nice. Got home soon enough, and as expected my white canary boots had arrived, so I had to try on my whole costume to make sure they work of course, haha (I'll post a photo when I'm down here). They fit, thankfully, and they match the costume pretty well- they're a little darker than the actual suit, but the jacket is a darker gray so with them together they just look awesome, so I'm very happy about that. So I settled in and started catching up on my tv shows, which I'll try to comment on if I can remember what I watched, lol. But I kept working on my appellate brief until I had about 4700 words (out of the maximum 5000). I had one more case I was gonna cover but the opinion was so confusing and its relevance to our case really tenuous, so I said ah screw it and called it there. Hopefully I can make up the last 300 or so words in final edits and adding transitory and other necessary things. I'm not worried though, which is good. I've said this a million times before, and I fucking hate it so much, but every single time I have to write something I get scared I won't be able to write as much as needed, even though I pretty much always exceed the word count and being too short is almost never an issue, and while knowing this, I still think it, and 5000 words was looming over me this whole week as some unattainable goal, so now that I'm a lot closer to it I'm feeling better about it. So yeah, tv. I initially picked out my recording of powerless, only to find out the dvr had actually recorded the premiere of trial and error. Okay, well I wanted to watch this anyway, so I might as well keep watching, and holy Jesus this show is amazing haha I already love it so much, although I know the legal inaccuracies are gonna kill me even when I'm telling myself it's a comedy ffs (but in the episode they were pulling shit like "oh homosexuality as a crime was never repealed here" and I'm like uh bullshit Lawrence v. Texas much???? Lol). But I enjoyed that a lot. I think I went to Designated Survivor next, which was a thoroughly epic episode, fairly major spoilers ahead (you've been warned) but ahhh I can't believe just like that MacLeish is dead??? The Vice President is dead?? And how that's just gonna look so much worse for president Kirkman and not just that MacLeish was a dirty traitor....ugh. I was glad to at least see my girl Hannah FINALLY getting vindicated cuz I was like ahh yes you go girl cuz I've hardcore been pulling for her this whole time, lol, so that was cool. But yeah, really intense and awesome episode, I liked it a lot. Riverdale next I think, and holy shit that episode was so sad???? Like dang man, Jughead's life is really fucking depressing. I was of course calling major bs when the sheriff supposedly took him in on literally no evidence and then had his school record because that's not fucking illegal or anything?????? Ugh. I'm glad he's at least living with Archie now though. Veronica continues to be awesome, and with the whole Betty and Polly situation I was thinking the whole time yo do not trust the Blossoms they evil AF so of course I was right there. Good episode though. Then I started last week's episode of Time After Time, which I managed to start in time to finish right before this week's episode started without actually meaning to at all haha so I watched the two episodes back to back. Continues to be an intriguing show, I think it's still finding its footing a bit, but the twists have been very interesting so far. I'm not sure how sustainable it is in the long run, like I'm not sure I can see it going more than one season really, which is unfortunate because it's clever, the plot just doesn't really allow for it. They also love killing people off haha I guess that's what happens when you have a show featuring Jack the Ripper. HG Wells continues to be an gem ("he came over right after world war 2" ".....there was more than 1???????") and the rest of cast does well too. So when that was over I knew I had just missed the live episode of Chicago justice, but I didn't really have much else to watch at this point so I watched the second episode. It wasn't bad, annoyed me less than the first, though that's likely just because they spent less time in the courtroom, lol. They're not quite mastering the time jump thing yet, where they go from crime to investigation to trial in one episode, without any real inference to time passing, which makes it feel like it all happened over like 3 days, which isn't just unrealistic, it's confusing, because they're like "oh who are we gonna bring to the grand jury?" and then the next scene is "the grand jury returned an indictment!" and you're just like da fuck?? Lol. The episode itself was interesting though, I wish they tied in their twist a little sooner, it seemed like too much of an afterthought with the entire plot they had come up with, but it was a well-thought out and well-played twist for sure. It kind of annoyed me that through the entire episode everyone was like "oh you know any cop who gets put on trial is gonna be found guilty" when that's pretty much categorically false, as cops are almost never convicted for officer involved behavior?? Lol, like I get that they're connected to Chicago PD or whatever but they gotta get that down a bit better. And yeah, when that was over I let the news play for a bit while I finished up the queue for the week on the company tumblr. Throughout the night I also wrote my "speech" (it's like a paragraph and a half) for the PAD election speeches tomorrow- so needless to say I decided that I would run. I had kind of come to that decision last night and was gonna text the justice (president) but I was already falling asleep, then I woke up and started doubting it again, but then came back to that conclusion and went for it. I'm not running for justice though because I know that would be too much, so I'm running for service chair (my current position) and vice justice. I don't know the current state of people running, but I have to imagine it's not gonna be all that many. I guess we'll see tomorrow though. And yeah, that's about it. Tired and about ready to fall asleep, back to real life tomorrow. So goodnight friends of mine. Hope you had a relaxing weekend.