#okay looking at this a tiny bit later I’m seeing that it looks kinda funky

[equill]

Its himm

Extra: gift

[max-vandenburg-is-life]

Long Loki rant incoming

Ok first things first I've always liked Loki a lot as a character but I don't consider myself a really really big fan mainly because I haven't read the comics. So all this rant is gonna be only about mcu loki and loki in the mcu has been written differently depending on the movie so yeah. And on that note let's go!!!!

So today I'm gonna talk about what I liked and what I didn't like about the Loki show. This is obviously just my opinion, you can disagree with me! I'd love to hear your opinions!

First I wanna talk about is the writing of Loki's character. So previously it has been established in the mcu that Loki doesn't do bad things just because he's a bad guy or because he wants power above everything else, but because after all the manipulation and lying he went through as a child, the abuse, always been seen as less than those around him and being taught to hate himself for who he was (a Jotun). He wants validation and being treated the same as the others, he doesn't really care about ruling or being king. His actions are a result of his trauma. So the show painting him as "He's a bad guy!! He's evil he can't help it it's in his nature!! He just wants to be king!!!" felt off to me since it completely goes against all the previous canon. Apart from that, I feel the show also erased other aspects of him that had always been essential to his character, such as him being very smart and always having a plan, and his powers (he BARELY used his powers throughout the season and he's supposed to be the best sorcerer in the nine realms. Please). So yeah there's that. I didn't absolutely despise his character in the show or anything like that, he generally seemed more happy and chill and that was good, I just felt some aspects of the character seemed inconsistent.

Apart from Loki, something I loved about the show were all the new characters that we were introduced to. Sylvie was absolutely fantastic, she had a well written tragic backstory, she had a goal and she had layers. She was a really well written character. Also she was just really cool overall, she had a cool personality and seeing her use her powers was very fun. (Sylvie your hand in marriage) (I guess I can talk about the "betrayal" now. So yeah not gonna lie I don't think it was that bad. She had a goal she had been pursuing her whole life and she obviously prioritized that before a guy who she met a few days ago. She did hurt him of course but still it's easy to understand her decision.) Mobius was also really cool, in the first episode I didn't like him much but I started liking him a lot later on. He's just a good guy, he wants to help people. (HE ONLY WANTED A JETSKI MARVEL). And I liked his story a lot, he was forced into working for the tva because his memories were erased and he was told what he was doing the right thing when killing all those people, but once he finds out all of it was false he immediately starts going against it and trying to help as many people as he can. Ravonna was also a good character (I keep saying all of them are good characters lol they're well written ok). Like okay she was a little bit evil but I liked her. I really liked her ambition and her confidence. I would have loved to know more about her life at the tva, because it seemed like because of her position she knew some things that most didn't. Hunter B15 was also really good, loved her character development. Casey only appeared in the first two eps but for some reason I liked him a lot idk why. Casey my beloved. Kang was mind-blowing good, he absolutely carried the episode. He was so fun to watch and a very interesting character. This is how you do villains Marvel. And then all the Loki variants were amazing. Classic Loki was great, he was more mature and wiser than the Loki we're used to watching and I felt really sad about his whole situation (aka trying and failing to find his brother because he missed him, getting pruned and then dying). Kid loki was a BLAST, I really liked the little funky dude and I would love to know more about his life. Boastful Loki didn't appear for long but I liked him a lot, he looked like a really funny guy I wish he had had more screen time. And then there was the Lokigator which was also great. President Loki was also cool (meaning he had the coolest outfit), but we didn't see much of him. I think that's a big problem with the show, because they made it seem like it was gonna be more about the other Loki variants and their timelines (that's what it seemed to me from the trailers) but then we barely got that. Sad shit.

Now let's talk about the writing of the show in general. The writers definitely went off with the philosophical conversations, I enjoyed them greatly (Loki's and Mobius' talk in the second ep and Loki's and Sylvie's talk in the third ep were amazing). Something I didn't like at all about the show (this is probably my biggest complaint) is that the writing of the show throughout the episodes didn't seem consistent, like each episode seemed to be a different genre, and that made the whole story feel weird. What I'm trying to say is: the first episode was about Loki learning more about his life and reflecting on why he does the things he does. There was more to the episode but it was mainly that. It was a very emotional episode. The second episode looked like a cop show, they investigated a crime scene in the beginning, they did some detectiving, they had a great breakthrough and found out were the villain was hiding in the end. The third episode was an action episode. It gave me the vibes of mid season episode that isn't too relevant to the plot in which the characters go on some short mission. The fourth episode I can't exactly categorize it I think it was kinda like episode 1 but with some more action. The fifth episode was also a mix, they had a lot of reflecting on Loki's character like in the first episode and then also some action. And the last episode was mostly just exposition and a tiny bit of action at the end, very philosophical and stuff. It also felt like in the first two episodes they were indicating that the show was gonna be about free will and good and evil but that kind of disappeared for a big part of the show. I'm trying so hard to explain myself well, I hope what I say makes sense. Now my opinion on the episodes, my favourites were definitely ep 1, 3 and 5 (haha odd numbers go brrrr). The pilot was absolutely amazing, and I loved the direction the show seemed to be taking (YES MARVEL explore his trauma mmmm that's some good shit right there). It was really emotional but like in a good way. The third episode was great. I think it balanced really well the action and the dialogue, seeing Loki and Sylvie going on their shenanigans, using their powers and fighting was really fun, and then the train talk scene was absolutely amazing (bi loki yay! Gonna talk about this later). The fifth episode was great mostly because seeing all the other Loki variants and how they contrasted between each other was fantastic and I loved it. I really hope we see more of the variants in the next season. The other eps, the second and fourth were okay, the one I think was the worst one was the last one. Damn that episode. It was a very slow episode. Thank god the guy who plays Kang was really good because otherwise the episode would have been impossible to watch. There was so much exposure but it felt like we already knew most of it? They talked about how multiple timelines existing was bad because chaos and stuff, and they talked about the war in which the different timelines battled each other. Ok we already knew this. I feel like the only important thing to take from that whole talk was that Kang's variants are very powerful and dangerous and they were introducing the villain to the mcu. The whole episode felt like instead of giving closure to the characters or ending some storylines, the main thing it was doing was introducing the concept of the multiverse for the next marvel movies.

Something that surprised me a lot about the show is how important it is for the mcu storyline. Like in the first episode they talked about how the tva (and of course Kang) was much more powerful than the Infinity Stones, when basically all previous marvel movies were about them and about their power. And then Kang was revealed to have created a sacred timeline, he controls absolutely everything that happens. All of this is so important and for some reason I didn't think the show was gonna be like this. Not that I'm complaining, this is great. And I feel like a lot of people are not realising how big it is? Like I don't see much talking about how this is literally the greatest power in the universe.

Damn this is getting long sorry.

I suppose I'll have to talk about it because it has been this big thing. I'm talking about the loki x sylvie pairing. I didn't like it too much, it felt a lot like the writers went "he's a guy she's a girl so they have to fall in love", like I felt they had a very different dynamic and when they said that I was mostly surprised and confused. Because they were variants of each other their romance felt weird to me, and the fact that they made a character genderfluid and then made a woman and a man version fall in love also rubbed me the wrong way (I'll talk about the genderfluidity later). I did like the mobius x loki pairing more, but still I don't think they should have got any romance this season, I feel like there has to be a lot more progress in that relationship before any romance. I generally feel like Loki should first start getting some friends and then later on we can start with romance. But yeah this is just my opinion. And all the drama and discourse there has been over this???? Some of you guys look ridiculous not gonna lie.

Ok now let's talk about representation. I'm not poc myself so I don't feel like I'm in the position to say if something was good or bad, so I'm not gonna talk about poc rep. The show did a good job with female characters, many of the main characters were women and they were very well-written, not sexualized and cast appropriately for their age (I can't believe I'm praising this, this should be the bare minimum. Why is media in general so bad. Like please just.) About the bi rep now. I'm sure that the writers or directors of the show had to fight really hard with marvel so that they could make loki canon bi, so yeah cheers to that guys good job. Obviously it's not enough, and I really hope his bisexuality is explored more later. But yeah we finally have a queer character in the mcu this is big. Now about the genderfluid rep. OOF. I have a lot to say about this. It was bad. Really bad. I don't know if they just don't know what genderfluid means but that's what it looks like after watching the show. Not only were all of the variants cis, but they also went on to say that Loki as a woman was a weird and uncommon thing. Oh my god. And what angers me the most is the fact that Marvel used the so called genderfluid confirmation to their benefit. They exploited so much that little piece of paper that said his sex (not even gender) was fluid. I saw SO MANY articles praising marvel for making him canon genderfluid, and then it was absolutely shit. Absolutely shit. Out of everything in the show this is definitely what I hate the most.

Gotta calm down now. The soundtrack of the show was amazing, the actual songs they used were perfect and then the music they composed for the show was just *chef's kiss* (i have no idea how they're called but the song that plays during the title sequence WHAT A BANGER and the one that plays when loki and mobius are looking at the whole tva from the balcony in the first ep WHAT A BANGER). The aesthetic of the show was also great, the colours were really pretty (Lamentis bi colours my beloved) and I think it had some really cool shots. The acting was great, I'm gonna highlight Kang because I thought he was amazing. The costumes and that stuff were also really cool, I really liked seeing all the different versions of outfits they gave to the Loki variants (if anyone is interested I made another post reviewing all the variants' outfits) and Kang's funky costume was great too. The design of the places and that stuff (I have no idea how to call these lol I'm trying so hard but I don't know any of the technical words) was great: Lamentis was really beautiful, the void was also very cool and the tva was really well designed.

Ok y'all I think this is it. I'm so sorry this is much longer than I expected and if anyone actually reads all of it i love you and PLEASE tell me your thoughts (if anyone wanna chat about the show with me privately send me a message!!! I love talking with y'all). A little final note, English is not my first language, nor my second, so yeah sorry if I can't explain myself well. Bye!!!!

[yamchaas]

Welcome back to Jessie Yamchaas drink and episode reviews- Today we will be reviewing- Episode 71 of Dragon ball Super and Green Tea topped with whipped cream cheese concoction I saw in a youtube video late last night that disturbed me, keep reading if either of these intrigue you-

First things first, I had to make my drink to accompany my episode rewatch, here he is in all his glory:

Looks wise? Not the prettiest drink, slightly “shreks swamp after the honeymoon” vibes, but looks don’t matter- it’s about the taste. Taste wise? This shit disgusting, what in the actual fuck- Janice, girl, you said this was nice in your video what is this- The whipped cream cheese sits on top of the bitter tea so your first sip is straight up just this weird cream cheese and then you get bitter tea and its fuckin bad- 0.5/5, won’t make again.

Okay now we have that horror out of the way lets move on to something less terrible, surely- Yamcha playing baseball :)

Okay, first things first- animation. WHERE THE HELL IS YAMCHA’S CAKE? WHERE HE FUCKIN THIGHS AND HIS BUTT AT? BASEBALL TIGHT PANTS ARE WONDERFUL BUT WHERE ALL THE MEAT GONE?? YAMCHA ALWAYS HAD MEAT BRO, HE ALWAYS HAD JUICY THIGHS BRO 😭- Okay but with that out of my system there no other glaring issues with the animation in this episode, sure some of the distant shots are funky but I’m not bothered too greatly by that, it’s actually fairly well done- I especially appreciate the scenes where they focus on Yamcha’s technique and of course the cool wolf shot sings to me so all and all no complaints beyond Yamcha being too small.

As for plot, Champa and Beerus are having a “friendly” match between universes 6 and 7, hijinks ensue- This is filler, there’s not much plot to speak on.

Utterly in love with the line from Yamcha that he left Tien and Chiaotzu behind, super funny and a nice little throwback to the Res F movie- Also, they’re married <3 But I do just have to say it does utterly flummox me that Tien is not included in this episode, there’s genuinely no reason for him not to be here and I can’t help but to imagine how fun the episode could have been if Tien was on the universe 6 team to even out the numbers- They never gave us the Yamcha/Tien rematch at the tournament so it could have been a fun way of giving us some kind of rematch and banter all these years later, but sadly they just didn’t take the opportunity- Also no Tien Baseball Tight pants 😭😭 Disappointing.

Whis and Vados look nice :) Vegeta being obsessed with topping Goku once more, nothing new here. Gohan’s a sweety, also nothing new here.

Now some positives: Yamcha being so encouraging and a good team leader is very sweet to see, love that actually. I also love that they made these amazing warriors not very good at something that isn’t fighting, like it’s comical but it’s also nice in a way? Like yes, Goku is unbelievable in so many ways but he struggles to learn baseball- Its nice to be reminded these characters have flaws and struggle in different aspects of life, just like regular people do too- Really like that.

Love them incorporating Yamcha’s use of spirit control into his baseball skills, it’s just fun and cool, no complaints from me at all.

Piccolo being good at baseball is cute and I like it.

Now on to everything else-

This episode truly hurts my feelings, it’s so unnecessarily mean for no reason and I know people might say “but doesn’t he technically win? and wasn’t he better than everyone?” Those are the only scraps he gets- Literally Yamcha speaks in a total of 10 super episodes and this is the only episode that we could even vaguely call a Yamcha episode and it’s just a joke on him 90% of the time-

18 questioning if Yamcha should be captain and being nasty about his skills truly fucks me off- Like he’s been the best baseball player on earth for 20+ years, the show acts like Yamcha is completely useless and it just grates on me- Yamcha trained with King Kai, he can hold his own against the ginyu force- He’s not weak. He’s just plainly not!! Sure he’s not Goku level, or even Piccolo, but that’s okay, because he is human!! He’s still an amazing martial artist and baseball player and he’s also a good friend with a kind heart. The show playing into the useless pathetic Yamcha memes is cheap. It’s just cheap.

As for the he weird, kinda implied Bulma/Yamcha stuff in this ep HATE HATE MALICE BITE KILL- Actually fuck off. The blush pisses me off so bad-  Like Yamcha has never acted hung up on Bulma, he was a bit annoyed when Trunks was a tiny baby, which was fair! But other than that he just treated her like a regular friend, no unrequited love. Also I’m pretty sure this is the nicest Bulma has ever been to Yamcha... Ever. In like the entire series as a whole. So... That’s telling.

Also supers insistence that Yamcha’s this cocky, smarmy guy will never cease pissing me off! The Yamcha we leave in Dragon Ball Z has been remarkably chill and humble for years, so why now is he suddenly a dickhead again? This is more prevalent in other episodes but does feature here too. Bad writing- Bad characterization. Bad.

And it ends on the dead fucking Yamcha meme pose- Because of course it does. Because it’s cheap and it’s nasty and that’s all there is to it. They took a character that used to be a main character. A loved character. And they played into the dudebro, abridged series, meme-ifcation to get cheap laughs rather than give this character the dues he deserves. They literally couldn’t even give him one (1) episode. This is actually worse than the fucked cream cheese green tea drink- By a large margin.

NOTABLE, QUOTABLE:

“C’mon let’s see some pep in your step!”

“Wow- It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Yamcha this fired up!” 😭😭 Dude seeing Yamcha confident and excited and Goku being so happy makea me 😭😭

“Let the Yamcha show you what it’s like to dominate on the mound-” I’ll let The Yamcha dominate on my moun- *Comically large hook snatches me by the neck, pulling me and my computer chair off stage*

“The wolf fang pitching fist ball-” Tien, I need you to kiss this man on his dumb mouth, please.

“Yeah for a washed up fighter that’s not bad.” 18 I GOT MAD LOVE FOR YOU BUT IMMA THROW HANDS WITH YOU BITCH IF YOU KEEP THIS UP- “But Jess she’s a powerful android and you’re some chick-” Yeah but don’t you know the power of love is the strongest force in the world? Also I grew up in the country and have reserved farm strength so 😤

“It’s an honour to have this of bat” Cabba I dont know what the fuck this means but I’m fuckin happy to see you mate- You a good boy!! “Watch closely master, I’m going to hit this and prove I’m worthy of your teaching-’ stupid lil bitch ass vegtea don’t deserve this sweety 😤

“What are you even doing here, I’m totally out of my league, at this rate I’d be lucky to walk off the field alive... C’mon Yamcha, keep your head in the game, we are going to win this.” TIEN IF YOU DONT GENTLY AND SWEETLY BRUSH THIS MANS CHOPPY MULLET FROM HIS FACE AND SWEETLY KISS HIS LIPS ON GOD-

Winning shot of the epsiode:

Thanks for tuning in to my review of drink and episode uhhhhhh see you again uhhhhhhh if someone gives me a drink and a episode to watch :)

[tracle0]

hey hello hi SO here's the deal I legit adore all your bird facts and your tag rambles n whenever I see them I'm like "!!!!!!" so I wanted to ask you a Bird Question so I get to hear more rambles but I don't know enough about birds to ask anything that sounds smart SO if this is not a weird request maybe could I please have some words about... 1) a Weird Bird, 2) a Cool Bird and 3) a bird you would most like to be bros with. sorry if this is a super weird ask ahaha ok cya later have a good day

HI HELLO you actually read those??? omg that very much makes me v happy to hear I just like to throw up knowledge into the tags and then assume no-one is gonna ever observe it. 

Wowza. Secret fan right here :D

Okay okay birds. Biiiirds. I gotchya man. Lots of my college project has been looking into birds. I know birds. 

However, I do live in England where there aren’t many weird birds. Our birds are kinda tame. I guess the tiny birds are kinda weird. I’ll give you some tiny bird facts. 

European robins are very shy little birds, very wary and cautious around people in most of Europe. Here is one of them;

Little fat lad. In most of Europe, v shy. However! In England, they are super bold. Very daring. Very commonly seen in gardens and allotments, waiting for gardeners to finish digging at a patch to go rummaging for bugs and other things they can eat. This is because in England, it’s considered bad luck to kill robins (don’t ask why I couldn’t find out) so they’re v safe here. 

They were called Robin Red Breast for a while, due to... red. Postmen in Victorian England also wore red around winter time, as part of their uniform, so a popular nickname for postmen in winter was Robin Red Breast. It became a sign of Christmas coming, hence why robins are so strongly associated with Christmas despite being year-round visitors. The last bit of their name was dropped but the sentiment remains. 

Other small bird facts; Goldfinches! V pretty birds. Here’s a picture

Wow look at that bird, so pretty! So, the deal with goldfinches was that they have super sweet song. I can hear one outside right now, actually, v tuneful, v recognisable songbirds. As a result, for a lot of history, goldfinches have been caught to keep as cage birds, to sing away and make rich lords and ladies houses sound nice. Rude practise. 

People think their population has been declining and blame the magpie. You’re Australian so maybe you’re like ‘reeee magpie’ (although my brain is telling me you don’t hate them and think they’re bros correct me if I’m wrong) but here magpies are mostly disliked because of their habit of taking from nests - a behaviour common to many corvids (more on that later). However! There have been lots of studies into this, and it was found that areas with higher magpie populations had no correlation to the number of songbird deaths in the area. Almost like... industrialisation and farming are driving them out of their area. 

These are long rambles. There are two info-splurges on tiny birds. Let’s move on to a cool bird, the swift! The common swift. Just to be clear.

I fucking adore swifts. Every year I wait eagerly for May to roll around so they return to England again. They are delightful birds, even if their screams are a bit unnerving. In Medieval times, people used to think their screams were the screams of damned souls in hell, and that when swifts vanished during the winter, they were buried in the mud to sleep, a belief held due to their nest-building habits of dried mud being the main item used to build nests.

Swifts barely ever land!! The only exception to this is to feed their chicks. When they’re little chicks, they do press-ups with their wings to build up wing muscles, Once they leave the nest, they keep flying for most of their life, only stopping when THEY have chicks!!! They eat, sleep and mate on the wing!!! Wild man!! 

As said before in the tags that I think you read, they rarely fly in the rain when in England/Europe - they fly to eat the bugs, and the bugs hide when it rains, so they just.... fly around the storm. They’re the only bird to actually do this. Unrelated but also neat, they’re one of the oldest species of birds, and whilst they look like swallows and house martins, they’re most closesly related to the hummingbird!!!

Swifts have the fastest level flying speed of 69mph. This means that it has the fastest speed it achieves by itself - the fastest bird of all is the peregrine falcon with its dive breaking speeds of 240mph!! That’s wild. They also keep flying for the longest, as said, and fly the furthest, from Africa to Europe and back again every year. One swift was recorded flying 4 million miles in its life - the same as travelling to the moon and back 8 times!!! Crazy. Insane. I love swifts. 

Bird I would most like to be bros with is the crow 100% because. Hello. Have we met. I love crows. Carrion crows, because they’re the crow we have here the most. 

There they are!!! V pretty. I love them. So much. 

So! Carrion crows often get a bad wrap for a variety of reasons, mostly history based, which is what I was actually exploring in the funky crow comic I’ve been doing for college work. I will say I blame Christianity and Alfred Fucking Hitchcock for their demonisation the most. They’re actually bros, being able to recognise human faces, reward those who are nice to it and punish those who are cruel. They can also tell other crows which humans are good and bad.

As said previously, a lot of corvids attack nests and eat eggs or young of other birds. I can’t defend this much - it’s what corvids do. Hell, the local crow in our area recently attacked the jackdaw nest across the road. It happens. C’est la vie. They do this because they’re scavengers, opportunistic, eating anything and everything they can, which is most likely how they’ve adapted so well to the huge industrial boom and in so many different places around the world!

In Japan, the Kanji for ‘crow’ is the same as the Kanji for ‘bird’, except the bit that symbolises the eye is removed. This is because crows, being all black with beady black eyes, look like they don’t have eyes from a distance. I learnt that from Persona 5. 

Their brains are huge!! Smart boyos!!! Hell, in terms of brain to body mass, their brains are bigger than apes!!! They’re insanely good at problem solving, with wild crows who were kept in captivity for short periods for testing being able to solve multi-step problems (some problems being 8 steps long!) for food!!! They’ve also been seen playing around with each other and the environment, something that had only been seen in apes and other high-intelligence and social creatures. They recognise their reflection. They have been observed making tools in the wild. They are very smart. 

Crows have really interesting routines and behaviours they follow regarding death - when finding a dead crow, they sound the alarm, and all swarm around the body, working together to try and figure out how it died and if it’s a threat to all of them. Sometimes they lay things on the dead crow, which some believe is similar to burying. If you’re interested in this, Kaeli Swift is a good name to look into - she specialises in corvid behaviour. 

My head is now going blank with crow facts but I think there are more. Support your local corvid nerd. Support your local bird nerd! Didn’t know I had so many facts rattling in my head. 

This uhhhh got long. If you got to the end, thumbs up 10/10 appreciate. Hope you have a top tier day :D

[crowned-ladybug]

I had a Funky Dream and I got a Concept from it that I have No Idea what I'm gonna do with just yet but I wanna keep it anyway

I call it the Corridor

The Corridor is an Anomalous Space or whatever, idk how to say it without making it sound like a shitty SCP concept which it is Not considering I Dreamed this

The Corridor makes No Fuckin Sense and that’s mostly its deal. It seems to have some level of sentience which could rely in great part on a binary system to Understand Things and I'll explain why in a bit

I call it the Corridor bc while idk if it has any ulterior motives, its purpose seems to solely be to take you from one place to another, even if in Interesting Ways. It achieves this by placing itself between you and your destination and also looking inconspicuous enough that you don’t even Consider not going through it. I’m p sure any door you open could lead to the Corridor instead of where it usually leads, the Corridor exists everywhere and nowhere simultaneously

Okay, the reason the Corridor stuck with me? Bc I witnessed/experienced three instances of ppl going through it (the third one I was actually a part of, the other two I was an observer) and despite it being a Dream, it was shockingly consistent?? Not 100% ofc, but the Corridor has Rules which was made clear to me the first time I watched ppl go through it. These Rules stayed consistent throughout the dream (and sometimes new, also consistent ones were added) and I even tested them. And the Corridor even tries to teach you them in its own, weird as fuck ways

At first glance the Corridor might even look normal if you disregard the fact that the first time I saw ppl go through it they were trying to get to a swimming pool bc the Corridor shows up anywhere it damn wants. The only thing that stands out about it at first is that it looks like it was blueprinted by a drunk iguana

It is not actually a Corridor but yknow. Cool Names. It’s especially fond of having long corridors (hah!), especially especially if they have at least one corner so that you can’t see the end, as well as tiny, tiny rooms that wouldn’t be big enough even for a pantry, and weird lil landing areas where multiple corridors from multiple angles meet/start. It has no windows, beige floor carpet everywhere (as far as I can recall) and light yellow/cream walls with white trimmings and these like. Slightly sunken areas on the wall that repeat periodically?? kinda window-esque??? trying to borrow from baroque while also v typically being a middle class city home thing??? All corridors and rooms have doors leading to them, which are also cream/white coloured and match the style of the walls. Also they have handles, not knobs, bc I'm European. Regular rooms are rare (I only saw a few when I was in the Corridor myself) and from what I've seen, tend to have a clear way right through against the wall, and that + how entirely clean and organised it all is makes it feel more like an IKEA display

Anyway, the Corridor’s deal?

No doors lead where you’d expect. The rooms on either side don’t line up in a way that spatially makes sense – you can have a lil landing area on one side and on the other a corridor that, by all means, should be running right through that landing area, you See it curving there when you look through the door, but there is Nothing. You could open the door to what seems like barely big enough space to step into and find a whole ballroom on the other side

Also, if you let a door close behind you, it most likely won’t open to the same room again from either side

The Very Consistent Rule? If you want something, and ask for it twice (or as later turned out, any even number of times), You Will Have It. It originally was just literal physical objects and whatnot I saw it happen with, but later it turned out it also works for like. Wanting Things To Happen, tho it v much works on tricky fae rules (I went “I want this person to not get lost travelling with us” twice when I was in the Corridor and instead of sticking to the group, that person couldn’t leave the room we found them in bc I mean, it’s not like you can get lost if you don’t go anywhere! I amended the request after that and it was fine)

It’s one of the reasons I feel like the Corridor functions on a binary system – the first request starts the Process, and repeating it confirms it/sets it to a “1”. Saying it three times without stopping/leaving a long enough break resets the Process again. (Other pointers to binary I connected awake, like how doors have two states, open and closed, and that the consciousness of the Corridor might just rely on “there’s either someone in this room/viewing this room or there isn’t”)

If you’re in there with someone else and lose them, you can also ask to have them back the same way you can ask for an item and then it’ll Be There the next time you look at the ground (which also works for food btw, the Corridor isn’t trying to kill you, you just have to understand its logic enough and you’ll be fine). If you lose your friend, you can demand to find them again (or even just scream their name while v scared) and the next time you or they open the door, you’ll find each other again

Which is also the Weird Fuckin Way the Corridor tries to teach you its rules, by separating you from whoever you’re with. Also maybe it thinks it’s fun, fuck if I know. But like. You have to hold tight onto someone to not lose them in the Corridor, bc doors can slam shut with only one person on the other side and the Corridor is Really good at acting inconspicuous. It Will convince you that it’s safe to let go of you friend’s hand for just a second or check out that tiny-looking room all on your own, you’ll be right back!

(And I mean. It’s not like you’ll get Hurt. You just have to find your way back to them)

The first two instances I watched happen were Joseph and Caesar trying to make it through and then also finding Suzi on the way and they lost each other a Lot Easier than you’d expect, sometimes even with all three of them getting separated and they got Really Scared by it. They made it out okay ofc but it was an Experience

Oh, and if you find someone In The Corridor who you didn’t enter with? Better make sure they’re the real deal. Just in case. I met my mother in the first room of the Corridor but then could see Another one of her when I stood in a way that I could see into that room + one farther down a corridor at once. When I properly requested for only my real mother to be there with me, the one in the far room wasn’t there anymore when I looked the next time, while the one I’d met initially remained

Also I don’t have a lot of experience in Entering the Corridor but I feel like. You don’t Have to go in?? Or if you go in and no door has closed behind you yet, you can walk back out. The Corridor won’t be offended. But as soon as a door closes behind you, it won’t open to where you started anymore, and there’s no way other than forward

Well, uhh...wherever forward is

[jojosthetic-boogaloo]

ur moodboards r so pretty!! i was wondering if i could get one w/ a matchup? i'm a 21 y/o 5'7" bi girl, gemini and an infp. my interests include writing (kinda edgy tbh) poetry n drawing. i'm v into vulture culture, specifically bone collecting and wet specimens. i love animals, esp ferrets (i have 6 lol). i love listening to music, mostly heavy or obscure bands. i'm not v assertive and i'm a big daydreamer. ppl say i have a rather dry/dark sense of humor. thank u and good luck w the new blog!!

Darling, for sure! And thank you so much!! I hate to admit that flattery will in fact get you anywhere ahh dang it ily

For your matchup! This is like, bit obvious ‘kay, but let me make it special aight yuh, cue funky goth music! 

((Also, I went with the assumption that ferret owners walk them?? I hope that’s okay and not too bizarre?? As a dog owner I am sorry if I messed that up hhh)

Translation: “Be my silver lining, help me make things better, darling.”

Leone Abbacchio!

At first glance, Abbacchio just really dug your style. The way you presented yourself was exactly according to his liking, extremely tasteful, he thought to himself. Still, having a platonic crush on your style didn’t move him to come up to speak to you out of the blue, what for anyways? Not like he was about to ruin some quite scrumptious girl’s day with his weird ramblings.

What a surprise though. Next time he spotted you in public it was by chance, and also amusingly entertaining. Were you really walking around with 4 ferrets on a leash? What was better, as he walked closer to you was, did you also carry two more ferrets on your tote-bag? He chuckled as he finally was close enough to you and spoke. “Excuse me miss, I couldn’t help but stare.” He started, earning a raised eyebrow from you, was this dude a creep or something? You tightened the leash quietly towards you, ready to lift your tiny children into the bag and run if needed.

“Oh, yeah?” You replied, on your guard, giving him a full scan with your eyes. Tall, well built, solemn looking, very nice lips and lipstick, nice hair, nice clothing style. Okay, visually, he had a pass, you had yet to see if he was a decent person. “Yeah.” He started, feeling the analytic gaze coming from you in his figure. He came in too strong probably. “I mean, it’s not every day you see a beautiful lady walking around with... six. Six ferrets in the street.” He had paused mid-sentence to count your pets. That, that earned positive points on his favor, he was cute, he got a pass.

“That’d be a beautiful girl for you, I’m not that old, sir.” You retorted, a small smile on your lips for you didn't mean no harm, and he understood that by replying with a smile on his face as well. “Ouch, okay, touché.” You both chuckled, then Leone presented himself, extending a polite hand your way. “I’m Leone, Leone Abbacchio, pleased to meet you miss.” He started, his lips together in a polite, amused smile. You thought it through for a second, realizing just how handsome this man was, timidly raising your hand to shake his. “Y/N’s the name, the pleasure is... mine, Leone.” He found that reaction interesting, contrary to the previous one, regaling you with a tender smile that barely showed you his perfect pearly whites.

“Well, Y/N, would you maybe... like to go for a drink?” He suggested, taking all his chances right there. How long had it been since he last went out with a girl for his own personal interest? He feared he’d forgotten how to act. Then came your answer, that actually put him at ease quite easily. “I’d love to, but I have to leave this babies back home first.” You started, then adjusting your tote-bag and reaching inside the pocket of your pants you took out your phone, unlocking it with practiced easiness. “Mind giving me your number so we can meet up some other time though?” He grinned, nodding and giving you a short “hm” as a response. 

You’d decided to meet up at the local music store, upon his request. Apparently, he wanted to buy a new album from his favorite band for his collection, and you didn’t comply, since you also were happy to check out on some new tunes. 

Watch him pleasantly surprised when he gets there and finds that both; you’re already there, even if he did get there a bit early, and also you were eyeing quite thoroughly the section he most liked to search through. “Hello there Y/N, anything catch your eye?”

As much as you’d liked to blurt out “You.”, you swallowed when you turned around and saw this wonderful eye candy ask about your music preference. 

After walking around the store for a while, casually chatting about the CDs both you and him pointed at or grabbed before placing them back in place you’d learned that you shared music tastes! Would he get any better than this? You thought, and simultaneously, so did he about you.

You decided to go for that drink you promised the previous day, he ordered some tea, and you did much the same. He refrained from drinking beer due to having problems with it in the past, he commented. You felt bad, so that’s why you chose the same thing, a small act of solidarity.

Through the afternoon, you’d been talking about books you’d read, sometimes coinciding on your reads, most the time Abbacchio recommending you books he’d loved, and so on.

It got interesting when you mentioned you also wrote some poetry sometimes. He asked if he could someday see your writings, and as much flustered as you got upon just thinking about it, you decided upon saying “We’ll see.”

When the night came, you’d realized you’d spent too much time in there, now a long 30 minute walk awaited you back home and, quite honestly, you weren’t exactly giddy and excited about it. 

“Don’t worry, bella, I’ll drive you home.” Great! You were rather nervous to get in the car of a man you’d quite prematurely met, but something deep in your gut told yourself to trust in him. And you did well, he opened the passenger seat’s door for you in a most outdated gentlemanly manner and turned around to sit down on the driver’s seat himself, revving up the engine and starting your way back home. You gave him the directions in a quiet tone, the music on the radio calmly playing while he let you guide, eyes focused on the road ahead and the wind gently swaying his hair backwards from his half open window. 

You took some time to quietly observe his features. The moonlight did him justice, he looked handsome during daylight, but this was another thing entirely. You realized you’d gotten a small crush on him at this point, sighing and staring at the road ahead. Not aware he’d noticed your staring and was now biting the inside of his cheek where you couldn’t see his embarrassment.

When you got home, your stomach sunk. You felt just how much you didn’t want him to leave just yet. And so, when you undid your belt and were about to turn for the door after a quiet “thank you”, you decided on turning back once more, only to notice he’d leaned over onto your seat and his face was mere inches away from yours, staring back at you with quiet surprise and wonder.

He swallowed, timidly speaking up after clearing his throat, not moving an inch. “You were about to... forget your bag in the back seat...” He stated, and you did notice your bag was being held in the hand that invaded your seat by its handles.

You slowly leaned in, and it happened, you pressed your lips to his, and he pressed back against you in return, raising his hand to your cheek and letting the bag softly drop into the car’s floor. 

When you broke off the kiss, you bit your lip. You were both adults, there was no harm in asking, right? “Uhm... would you want to... come in?” He chuckled and leaned back into the driver’s seat, moving the gear lever while still looking at you with a smirk on his lips. “Sure bella, let me park first and I’ll be there in a minute.”

So he spent the night with you. Next morning, you woke up with a small paper note next to you in bed, right where he’d laid previously and it read, in utmost fancy calligraphy “Went for breakfast, that was wonderful. - Leone”.

You threw yourself back into the mattress again, giddily waving the paper around as your kicked your legs like a teenage girl in love. You loved this man, he was amazing, so thoughtful, so kind and charming. He made you feel safe, and that’s what you most cherished. Sooner than later, you heard the doorbell ring, and promptly threw a shirt on you along with some undergarments to find a handsome silver haired man standing at your door with coffee and pastries.

After meeting up a few more times in this fashion, you’d gotten to the point you just had to ask. Perched on his form on your sofa as you watched a documentary on pagan rituals he seemed to be rather interested on, you rested your head between his shoulder and his chest and timidly asked, playing with his hand that rested on your thigh. “Leone, what are we?” 

He seemed to stay silent for longer than comfortable. But when you looked up, seeing him arch his brow in confusion and turn to look at you for a brief moment before turning his gaze back to the screen. He threw an arm around your shoulder and squeezed you close, resting his temple on top of your head tenderly as he seemed to try and find his words without missing much of the show.

“I thought we were dating already?” He nonchalantly replied, which made your chest tighten and a sharp breath inflate your chest. You let it out and gave a small nod onto his chest, placing a soft kiss on it and turning your  gaze to the TV once more, feeling him run his hand up and down your forearm in a comforting motion. “I’m glad we are then.” He chuckled and shook his head, but added nothing else, the smile never leaving his lips. 

[01010010-posts]

— magic trick.

request: I love the ask about witch reader! Please do it it sound so fun! And generally I'm a fan of your handcanons and the cst&dogs au (at first I was curious and now I live for it 😂)

been a bit meh mood for a couple of days but everything should be ok now, tho much slower. trick or treat i guess, i dont like how this turned out! also i’ve corrected some old headcanons!

Connor:

• excited and curious • was that a spell?? what did it do?? why did you do it?? what language was that?? • oh?? a sigil?? what purpose does it serve?? • can you please do one with thirium [name] please please please I’d love to see that • a talisman?? for me?? the crystal has such a pretty color!! • of course you give him more than one, he does a really dangerous job after all you have to be sure he’s well protected • also he’d really like to discuss with you if you’re practising a derivative of alchemy or • alchemy just seems like a cool human project to him • he often wonders why people haven’t dwelt into it more thoughtfully • very worried you’ll hex others sooner or later • because no?? he doesn’t want you to get hurt?? be cautious thank you?? • can he tell Hank? can he?????? tell him he can • is that your grimoire,,,, he will try to peek • ah now he gets it! the crow who’s always in the garden is your familiar!! that’s so cool will you let him pet it? • no crystal ball? but he thought– ahh so divination it’s just not your thing? that’s okay too! • read his tarots!!!! • cooking can also be witchy? humans are so funky he’s so in love • if you haven’t asked him if he’d like to be a witch too at this point you’re heartless • i mean there’s already a fortune teller android so,,,, no harm in trying 

RK900:

• “you know that’s impossible, right?” • “baby,,,, you’re an android, nothing is impossible at this point” • “that’s technology” • “and this is magic” • OH COME ON you’re saying you’re a witch now?? really?? do you think he will believe that?? • he’s a man of science i mean he is literally a man of science he is like– nvm you get the idea • “I’m sure there’s a plausible logical explanation for this kind of phenomenon–” • “yeah!! of course there is!!” • a sigh of a relieved man • “i just thought ‘man, magic looks fun i could try to be a witch’ and so i did” • a sigh of a distressed man • why do you always gotta be like this • look you made him put his head in his hands LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE YOU’VE BROKEN HIM • “in my defence you didn’t catch all typical warning signs of dating a witch, love” • “what do you mean” • heaps of exotic plants? weird spices? crystals? three black cats? brooms? ok the last one is pretty normal but brooms? in 2039? if that doesn’t scream ‘witch’ i don’t know what else it does • “but... you don’t have a pointed hat” • “really now that’s offensive” • just give him some time and he’ll come to understand • he’ll also come to love you being more relaxed around him, not always having to hide what you’re doing • he secretly loves watching you doing your ‘magic things’ but he’ll never say that, not even if you make him drink a truth serum 

RK800-60:

• there’s no way in hell you can actually hide something from him • no, rectifying you totally can • it’s just he’s such a quirky meddler he will find it, whatever is it • so you kinda never bother being anything if not you • and he’s cool with that • floating in the air while focusing on something you’re reading? he’s sure all humans can do that in the comfort of their houses • having tons and tons of old dusty books? eh you’re just an old soul • black cats? they’re pets, you love pets, he loves pets, he loves cats • huge glass jars full of wiggly pink worms? dunno, surely must be a human thing • candles? come on every human loves a tiny sparkly danger flame • this boy has seen some shit he’s unphased by weirdness • one thing you didn’t certainly consider though, was his tendency to talk • to talk about you, specifically • everyone you know and he knows now know too that you’re a witch • you’re lucky since he’s famous for being a total show-off • so yeah they’re gonna listen to him the first couple of times and be really suspicious • but at the fourth “gotta tell you what [name] fucking did yesterday: they resuscitated a dead frog I found” • everyone is just,,,, okay boy you’re weird when you talk about your better half • not only when doing that but shh • he’s basically outing you but nobody believes him how dorkable can he be?? smooch him a lot he deserves it

[vmheadquarters]

We wish you a Happy Birthday, We wish you a Happy Birthday, We wish you a Happy Birthday filled with fanfic and cheer!

Happy Birthday @catefrankie!

And to kick-off our wish of fanfic for you, here’s the start of a Christmas tale written by our own @susanmichelin. Hope you enjoy! 

Mars and the Real Meaning of Christmas

Thursday, December 20, 2007

“I need your help, Logan.” Already this felt wrong. It was supposed to be the other way around. It was ALWAYS the other way- HIM coming to HER for help. Find my mother, I was falsely accused of murder, locate my sister’s scumbag boyfriend, false murder rap (again), missing trust fund money. Logan was the one who needed HER.

“What is it, Veronica? I’m kinda busy.”

He leaned against the doorjamb, looking better than an ex-boyfriend had a right to look. Wasn’t it a law that all exes needed to get Santa-Claus-fat? Maybe even bald? They were NOT supposed to get buff. And they certainly were NOT supposed to come to the door wearing nothing but a pair of a shorts with water droplets sliding over their chest and down rock-hard abs.  

Kinda busy. The words poked at her. Kinda busy doing... what? Or who? She gritted her teeth. Who Logan was doing was none of her business. “I need your help.”

“You said that already.”

Should she come right out and ask? Remind him of his promise, if you ever need anything. She bit her bottom lip. That was before Madison. Before Piz. Before they splintered each other’s hearts into tiny shards of sharp edges. Why did she think this was a good idea?

“Me” —he pointed to his chest— “Losing interest, fast.”

Bored, jackass-Logan. Veronica blinked. “Forget it; I shouldn’t have come here.” Turning on her heel, she stalked down the short driveway.

“Veronica, wait!”

Ignoring him, she made the left on the narrow street running behind his house and continued in the direction of her car. He caught up to her at the corner; his hand landing on her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

She spun around to glare at him. Crossing her arms over her chest, she lifted her chin. “Why do you think something’s wrong?”

“My mistake.” He backed up a step. “You came to see me after months of not speaking to what… ask for help moving? No wait, you need a ride to the airport. Or did—”

“My father’s missing.”

“He’s an adult; I’m sure he’ll come home after he’s slept it off.” His gaze moved past her to a spot beyond her shoulder. “Ah, my company’s arrived.” A smirk spread across his face as he glanced at Veronica. “Weren’t you just leaving?”

One of those sharp pieces of her heart shifted, slicing her lungs and making it difficult to breathe. Without saying anything, she dropped her arms, and continued for her car. It was her fault for thinking… She shook her head.

There was no point in analyzing her FEELINGS. She was the one who’d told him it was going to take time and obviously he’d decided waiting around for her to forgive him wasn’t worth it - leaving Hearst while she was in Virginia and moving away from the Grand.

“Hey,” he called after her, but she refused to turn around. She didn’t want to see his face again and she DEFINITELY didn’t want to see his ‘company.’ Rooting through her purse, her fingers closed over her keys. Only a few more steps and she could drive out of his life forever. Logan stepped in front of her, blocking her path and foiling her plan. “Why do you think Keith is missing?”

Right. Her father. Missing. “Don’t worry about it; I’ll figure something out.”

She didn’t have a lot of rich friends. Okay, so she had exactly NO rich friends. Acquaintances? Eh, maybe. There was Dick —he was still floating around campus, presumably going to class— but the idea of letting him touch her was… nauseating.

Logan ducked his head to see her face; concern furrowing his brow. “Let’s start over. You can come inside and tell me about Keith and I’ll promise to dispense with the sarcasm.”

It was her turn to smirk. Logan without sarcasm was… her brain tried and failed to come up with an adequate analogy. What was that impossible? Unassisted human flight? Finding a unicorn in her dorm room? “I don’t want to interrupt your afternoon TRYST.”

“You always go there first. God, Veronica do you think about anything other than sex?” He arched his eyebrows and widened his eyes, faux-shocked. “I do have other interests.”

“Name one.”

He glanced over her shoulder again and held up a wait-one-minute index finger. And again, Veronica resisted the urge to look. An expansive grin spread across Logan’s face as he recognized the effort needed to thwart her curiosity. “Well...proper nutrition is important to me.”

Veronica rolled her eyes. INFURIATING. That was the word to describe him. Irritating, smug, and—

A shouted, “Hey!” from behind them interrupted her silent tirade. “Do you still want this, or what? I don’t have all day.”

She turned. A delivery guy in white t-shirt and red ball cap was holding an insulated warming bag, and glaring at Logan. I know how you feel, buddy. “Pizza? THAT’S your idea of nutritious?”

“Says the woman who eats ice cream for dinner.” Logan jogged toward the house. “Plus it’s from Bronx Pizza”—he called, over his shoulder—“extra cheese, pepperoni.”

Two of her weaknesses. Three, if you counted Logan himself, which she definitely DID NOT.

Veronica trailed behind the delivery guy, watched Logan pay him and carry the pizza inside, leaving the door open. It was invitation enough; she walked into the living room.

After seeing Logan live in the overly-decorated, tacky surroundings of his parent’s house, and then in the sterile, impersonal suite at the Grand, she wasn’t sure what to expect from a space designed by him, for him. The beach was a given, and it didn’t disappoint. The view was stunning. Large, folding glass doors were pushed open, accordion-style, creating a seamless flow from living space to deck.

“I’m going to take a quick shower before we eat and then you can tell me about Keith.” A wry grin. “Don’t make yourself at home.”

To hide her annoyance, she averted her face, and focused on the painting above the couch - a print of Hopper’s Rooms by the Sea. It was a metaphor for silence and solitude. But the other name for the painting—The Jumping Off Place—made her frown. It could be taken either way, as something dark, or hopeful. A final ending, or the point from which something is begun.

Veronica glanced back at the wood-and-glass spiral staircase, but Logan was already gone. Seconds later, the sound of running water said he’d started his shower. She relaxed, wandered across the sisal area rug to explore.

A blue-gray sofa with welted cushions and funky striped throw pillows stood under the Hopper. Club chairs in the same striped pattern were positioned for optimal viewing of the large flat-panel television, and instead of a coffee table, he had a cocktail ottoman printed with coastal beach signs - sand, sea, surf.

The kitchen was separated from the space by a large island and stools—no dining table—and Veronica opened and closed cabinets as she moved down the line. Bright, multi-colored Fiestaware, drinking glasses, pots, and pans - a fully stocked and functional kitchen. She peeked inside the filled-with-healthy-food refrigerator.

She shouldn’t be surprised. Logan had been taking care of himself, in one way or another, since childhood. It was just strange to see him ADULTING. It was hard to imagine him cooking and cleaning and paying bills. The only thing missing was any indication that Christmas was five days away.

Crossing the floor, she looked up the stairs as she passed—no sign of Logan—and moved to the wall behind them. Three custom bookshelves made of walnut and steel were crammed with a mix of hardcovers and paperbacks. Veronica perused the titles. The Count of Monte Cristo, Catcher in the Rye, The Call of the Wild.

She fingered the leaves of a nearby potted palm, wondered why he didn’t have a Christmas tree.

“It’s real,” Logan said, springing down the stairs. “So did I give you enough time to search all the drawers and cabinets, or should I go change again?”

Her cheeks warmed. “Haha.” For something to do, she pulled out one of the saddle-seat bar stools, and flipped open the pizza box. “What made you leave the Grand?”

Shrugging, he handed her a plate, took down two glasses, and poured them both soda. Instead of answering, he said, “Keith. Missing.”

He was right; this wasn’t a social call, but the reminder that they weren’t friends, still stung. Swallowing her sigh with a bite of pizza, Veronica watched him through lowered lashes. Leaning on the opposite counter, half-turned away from her, he was eating his pizza over the box top, and he looked just as good fully-clothed as he did when wet and in swim trunks.

Shaking off the thought, she asked, “Do you remember Deborah Daily?”

Logan’s grimace said he did. “Sure, who could forget the socialite of Debbie does Daddy Dearest fame?” He dropped his unfinished slice back in the box. “Is she still floating around Neptune? Pun intended.”

Deborah had lost her status as trophy wife when she was discovered in flagrante with the pool boy. “No, she’s living in Aspen now, working as an event planner...of sorts. Really she only works for one place - this very exclusive, luxury ski resort called The Glen?”

He nodded. “I’ve been there.”

Of course he had. “Anyway, they’re hosting this five-day Christmas event billed as a ‘traditional’ holiday getaway for couples only.” She finished her pizza and, without having to ask, Logan slid a fresh slice onto her plate. Veronica smiled her thanks, and he rolled his wrist for her to continue. Smile fading, she peeled the pepperoni away from the cheese. “Part of the festivities is a lavish Christmas Eve party, complete with a full orchestra, dancing, and a charity auction.”

“Oh the rich, whatever will they think of next!” Logan clapped his hands together. “Christmas shopping that’s also a tax write-off!”

She ignored his mocking. “Debbie’s been arranging the auction for months, collecting big-ticket items—Harry Winston jewelry, a classic Ferrari, private plane—you get the idea. And then, about two weeks ago, she started to get worried.”

“That her guests weren’t rich enough to afford such baubles?”

“Not quite. She began to suspect the charity was a fake. On paper it looks legit- an outreach program for troubled teens, but when she finally met the CEO...she had doubts.”

“And she hired Mars Investigations?”

“You don’t need to sound so surprised; my dad is very good at what he does.”

“Oh, I wasn’t disparaging the...efficacy that is Keith Mars; I’m asking, why not a firm in Colorado?”

“She didn’t want her boss to find out. If the charity’s a scam, not only will she lose her job, but she’ll be blacklisted. She remembered my dad from his investigation into...”

“Aaron’s stalker,” Logan finished her sentence. “And why should I care about Deb’s future job prospects?”

“I’m not asking you to help HER; I’m asking you to help ME.” Logan gave her a non-committal, hmm, and tapped his wrist like her time was running out. Veronica pushed away her plate, started to stand, changed her mind. She HATED needing him, but she did. “Dad went undercover as a member of the staff; he’s playing Santa Claus at the party, and—”

Logan smirked. “So in essence you’re investigating the case of the missing Santa?”

“I’m GLAD you’re finding this so amusing.”

Something in her tone, wiped the smirk from his face. “I’m sorry, Veronica; finish your story.”

“He checked in with me on Tuesday night, but I haven’t heard from him since.”

“That’s only two days”—Logan looked at the clock above the bookshelves—“Not even. Maybe he’s busy chasing down a lead or--”

“No, we had an arranged check in time; he would call me every night at six while the staff was eating dinner, and he missed last night’s call.”

“Maybe he couldn’t get a signal or his phone died?”

Veronica shook her head. “He has a SAT phone WITH a tracking feature AND global positioning. Even if he couldn’t call me, I’d be able to track his location, and I can’t. Someone disabled it, Logan.”

“Have you called the police?” She just stared at him, and he held out his hands. “What? That ‘waiting-period to file a missing person’s report’ thing is only a Hollywood myth.”

“I know, but I don’t have any proof of foul play, or even that he’s in trouble - other than my instincts, and they’re telling me something’s wrong.”

“And how exactly am I supposed to help you with this?”

“Did you miss the part about it being a COUPLES retreat? I need you to come with me, pretend to be my boy—”

“Husband,” Logan interrupted. “Your better half, the old ball and chain.”

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever; we leave first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, dear.” Picking up his pizza, he folded it, and took a healthy bite. “See, we’re already playing our roles to perfection. You, the demanding, nagging wife, and me, the henpecked, lazy husband.” He wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “Just out of curiosity- what was your backup plan? You must’ve had one when you stormed off all indignant-like.”

“To find another bored rich 09er to go with me.” He raised an eyebrow, waited for her to elaborate. “I was going to ask Dick.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think even YOUR acting skills are that great.”

“Well, we’ll never know.” She slid off the stool. “Our flight leaves at six a.m. so I’ll pick you up at four.”

“Pretty sure of yourself there, Mars, making flight reservations in ADVANCE.” He tossed his pizza crust in the trash. “Going to ask Dick,” he scoffed under his breath.

“Just be ready when I get here.” She shouldered her purse. “We have a layover in Phoenix, but we’ll get to the resort in time for the welcome lunch at noon.”

“Layover? God, I hope it’s not COACH.”

[havingonlydreams]

i am never going to use this tumblr for posts again

alright so since i finally got out of testing today and i learned how to scroll frame by frame through youtube videos, i am going to reward myself by doing an unnecessarily thorough breakdown of the quanzhigaoshou live action trailer imagery(watch cn fanbase beat me by a country mile)

nighttime cityscape/highway scene fades out

team happy walks into one side of an arena, wearing competition uniform (i will explain this later)

we switch to team excellent era, coming in through the opposite side of the same arena, also in competition uniform. their side of the arena is lit in red, not blue. are they playing at the same time? is this happy vs ee? :shrug:

also, why tf is a backpack part of all these uniforms? how much stuff do esport players need to carry anyway? did a backpack company sponsor the production??

panning shot of signs, looks like they’re for huang shaotian or blue rain

that’s cruel, br-fen. why does captain get no love :cry:

shot continues moving, now the signs are for han wenqing

based on lighting, i don’t think they’re the same shot

fade out to scene of arena packed with fans and players

if I’m getting these signs right, looks like it’s (right to left, moving with the camera):

team void, tiny herb, tyranny, blue rain, excellent era

so, all stars

honestly, the scale’s kinda small. thumbs down to location scouting – the weird lighting polyhedrons confirm that it’s the same arena as the one from the happy/ee shots in the beginning, so expect ~location weirdness/ambiguity~

unnecessarily synchronized card insertion

based on the card logo, i wanna say tiny herb?

ee responds in kind!

tyranny puts headphones on in unison. the headphones are white. also, i think this is their casual uniform. based on the giant maple leaf in the background, i would say that this is an away game with ee, but the worn metal and circle room in the background look more like tyranny’s supervillain clubhouse

now ee is playing. this shot looks like ee turf – they’ve got white-backed seats, and that weird angular lighting motif. also they’re wearing black and blue headphones because ~product placement~

i say turf, not arena, because there don’t appear to be any actual player booths in these two shots, the set design looks like what we’ve seen for the clubhouse pics (this is because the production couldn’t afford to film all of the games in actual arenas, isn’t it)

also, ee is wearing competition uniforms.

now tiny herb is playing on what looks like the same set, but with the background lit in red, not blue. maybe they’re playing against ee? also from this angle I can clearly see that they are *headsets*, not headphones, which means that vc is not banned by this version’s alliance. some dude in blue is hanging out in the background, probably an official of some sort. I am not sure whether this is their casual/competitive uniform

a guy in ee uniform sweeps his hands across a keyboard with unnecessarily colorful backlighting

~product placement~

ye xiu (yang yang) stands in front of ‘glory pro league’ hologram thing with his back turned, wearing the happy casual uniform

mouse shots! keyboard shots!

face shot! (of ye xiu, wearing casual uniform (puma!) and headset (white))

group shot of happy walking down arena hallway, wearing competition uniform. this is where I explain this bit. so as far as I can tell, every team has (2) uniforms: a casual uniform, which looks like a tracksuit and those enormous thick sweatpants had an ugly, ugly, baby, and a competition uniform, which looks dorky as hell. all of the female characters manage to elevate the terrible costuming by being beautiful, but are dragged down by the fact that apparently the alliance uniform for women mandates a miniskirt, because apparently no one has gotten cold legs in an arena, ever. (to be fair to the costume department, its not that they did a terrible job, its that their job was to replicate esport uniforms, which are a hot mess)

the main difference between happy’s casual and competitive uniform, btw, is that the casual one has a high collar and the puma branding, and the competitive has this funky sweater? not-collar thing

idk fashion words

also, ye xiu is wearing a mask because Reasons

(the reason is that judging by chen guo, this is from the challenger league arc, and the producer/director/writer/whoever decided to move around certain things)

boom! ee vs happy in the big arena, baby~~~

one dude from each team is standing under the spotlights, probably sx and yx by process of elimination

presumably!yx is NOT wearing a mask. maybe it gave him acne

pan across team happy getting ready to play in their booth? idk where this is

i see at least three types of headsets in this shot, and wei chen, who is not wearing his. maybe he got knocked out early?

now it’s the weird circle room that was in that early shot with tyranny! advertising on the ceiling lights, nice

I … have no idea what’s going on here. giant ee leaf on the sides, bunch of logos I can’t make out in the back, there are just *way* more people in here than any match would call for

like I think the dudes in the middle are wearing ee casual uniforms, but everyone else seems to be wearing black tracksuits? i don’t even know

ye xiu, geared up in full hobo gear (long coat&hoodie), storms out of the ee club set that was previewed in earlier set pics.

keyboard and mouse action!

ye xiu playing in the ‘storage room’ on a gaming laptop. also, he’s changed into a *different* hoodie

I have no clue what brand the laptop is; it’s the same as some of the monitors in a couple of earlier shots, might be Chinese?

yu wenzhou cameo

ye xiu hobowalking sadly in the snow (ngl, the hoodie make me laugh a little)

excellent era (w/su mucheng) walking into some stadium wearing casual uniforms. they are piss ugly

(the uniforms, that is. also ee minus mucheng, but who’s counting?)

happy coming from the opposite direction, also in casuals

and they pass each other! dramatically!

probably!yx taking a glory badge out of a box. can’t make out the details, but it says ‘1’ at the bottom, so these are probably the drama replacement for championship rings

tang rou focus shot! also, if that’s her line in the vo, I am *very* pleased

“turn all of the ‘can’t be done’s into ‘can do’”

yu wenzhou shot in casual uniform

ye xiu on The Motorcyle (pfft)

chen guo prepping for a celebration at Happy! she is Very Excited about that champagne tower. not sure who the two messing around with balloons in the bg are

tang rou in a cab looking upwards –

-to su mucheng, walking inside a stadium while wearing ee competition uniform

huang shaotian smiling at yu wenzhou while the rest of br preps. also, the blue rain competition uniform is an Abomination, which you will not appreciate until seen face on

ye xiu, whispering ominously ‘this is the last match’ as happy leans in around him

wei chen and… steamed bun? who is making a weird face, thumbs up

‘good luck’ whispers wang jiexi

and steamed bun *grabs* the challenger’s league cup, lifting it to wild cheers

chen guo and the crowd are ecstatic

partayyyyyyy

‘I will NOT give up’ says han wenqing, man who nobody, ever, has thought would give up

han wenqing and huang shaotian fistbump as tyranny and blue rain walk down a hallway, both dressed in their competition uniforms. zhang xinjie is confused. yu wenzhou is smilingly tolerant of the fact that hst is fistbumping right across his chest (huang shao is going to DIE, later)

okay so,

uniforms

tyranny’s looks fine! maybe the best competition uniform in the alliance (the bar is not high)

they’ve got a pretty normal chevron pattern across the front, some stripes. about the only problems are that the pants are a *little* too tight, and that some tyranny members are absolute maniacs who zip their jackets up all the way so it looks like they’re wearing the worlds weirdest collared shirt

blue rain …

so the closure is not that bad! pretty unconventional, an asymmetric zip with two fasteners across the top and some kinda … shawl collar? idk. I actually like it

but the pattern … i feel like someone said to the costume department, ‘you know, all of these uniforms have too many straight lines in their designs. we should add some curved lines. give the curves to blue rain! they’ve got no girls, so it’s the only way they’ll get any!’ and then they doubled down by adding raised piping for emphasis

that, and the way that uniform material looks like some kinda spandex-velour mix … it reminds me of the star trek:the next generation uniform! also, the casual uniform does the same curved line thing except in the opposite direction, and as a cutout, so its even worse

chen guo cheering in crowd

maybe a projection screen? tyranny and ee logos up on the wall

and happy logo SLAMS shut

ye xiu with his hoodie looking sad and pathetic in the snow up at happy

happy in competition uniforms coming downstairs (chen guo, so challenger’s league)

also damn, happy internet café is *swanky*

I mean, my eyes would hurt from the glare after a while, but it’d be pretty

EXCELLENT ERA

trophies. looks like seasons 1,2,3 going down to the left

sun xiang at the whiteboard lecturing ee. he is the only one not wearing the casual uniform. where is your piss ugly uniform, xiang xiang? this is a team endeavor, you’re not allowed to not wear it. it builds morale

BLUE RAIN

yu wenzou smiles

huang shaotian … fake guitars? with … something that’s been bundled up

TINY HERB

i guess this is why they redesigned the logo, so it would match the aesthetic and could be slammed shut like this, but i still don’t like it

honestly, tiny herb training room aesthetic is incredibly beautiful and soothing

but still way too much white, what the hell ppl, don’t you know about eyestrain?

‘today we’re training how to put our headsets on, synchonizedly’ sponsored by hp

also apparently that *was* the tiny herb competition uniform earlier, since this is the casual one. hmm. a bit too olive drab. tyranny’s still winning

signature wang jiexi EYES shot

TYRANNY

tyranny training room looks a lot less like a supervillain lair when brightly lit! go figure

now it looks like an overexposed supervillain lair *set*. progress!

captain han is ANGRY

hands clasp in front of happy members in the bg. tang rou is def not paying attention

is ye xiu wearing a mask AND a hat??? dude, chill

happy walking into crowd of fans&paps … somewhere. why is steamed bun kneeling next to the door? :it is a mystery:

group cheer! no ladies

group … orange juice! with su mucheng! damn, qiao yifan’s tall.

confetti in the stadium, and reporters charge forward

judging by teams and signs, this is all stars, so reaction to ye xiu’s dragon raising its head?

‘beautiful!’ ejaculated ye xiu

key and mouse action ~~

and the crowdteam happy goes wild!

team fist pump! someone has put their phone on their chair. I hope they don’t sit on it

ye xiu putting on headset in happy internet café. cant tell if this is hobo!hoodie or hoodie no.3

ye xiu :eyes:

key press. wtf program starts up with ‘s’

cgi is cgi

everything looks super gloomy and overcast ~ i hope they do more varied environments

and we see lord grim! they’ve gone for a really…tarnished metal? look for the MMU

like, I would not mistake it for an umbrella.

yang yang face

THE KINGS AVATAR

  Okay, so if you were looking for anything of actual substance in this, looks like they’re doing ch.1 - 1052 at least, probably 1-1060, so the end of the challenger league arc.

[takingtea-and-tellingtales]

thoughts while re-watching ep. 2x12 of Gotham

*ice puns intensify*

wow harvey, interrogating jim gordon at this trial is a little two-faced of you (i will never stop)

drink for “someone tries to say ‘oswald cobblepot’ and with gravitas” 

(and then drink like nine more times for the rest of the scene)

i watched a crack-vid that played “love crime” from the finale of Hannibal over Jim and Oswald killing Galavan and now I can’t unhear it???? i also can’t find it again to leave a link here???? 

“detective, did you have anything to do with the murder of theo galavan?” “what? no. what? who’s galavan. never heard of him. is it hot in here? maybe you killed him, didja ever think of that???” BE A BETTER LIAR, JAMES

prosecutor voice: “jim gordon, is there perhaps a small shaky mobster being tortured in arkham for a crime YOU committed?” (yeah, yeah, oswald has committed upwards of 50 murders at this point i’m AWARE but he didn’t do this one)

okay, friends, let’s TALK about SOME THINGS: 

(1) I SEE YOU, JOKER-CULT SPRAY PAINT

CALLED. OUT. 

(2) This:

i should clarify. i know i’m generally very excited about pretty much everything oswald wears because he is STYLISH AF at all times. but this is different. everyone get out your shipper goggles and strap in, this is going to be a ride...

these are not oswald’s clothes. 

i know this for a few reasons

(1) oswald is a much better dresser than this

(2) oswald is a much less practical dresser than this

(3) that coat is too big for him

(i know this because @tigerinkangel and i spent way way way too long looking at the few shots of oswald in this coat in the episode and we determined that the coat is made for someone taller and with broader shoulders... gee. who was oswald just staying with who is taller and has broader shoulders? i wonder.)

these are ed’s clothes 

ed has given oswald not just a coat but THREE LAYERS OF CLOTHES so he DOESN’T GET COLD including a little checked scarf (that surely would match ed’s fab red coat from later this season) and a knitted toque (a hat for all you non-Canadians) 

this is PRECIOUS

i want you all to image how this went down:

“i have to go, ed, they’ll find me and you’ll get into trouble too”

“where will you go?”

“just lay low for a while”

“where?”

“around”

“you’re going to be cold and, frankly, recognizable in that getup” 

“i can’t exactly go back home and change now, can i?”

“well then you’ll take some of my clothes”

“your clothes?” 

“yes. i think i have some sweaters...” 

*cut of ed forcing ugly knit sweaters over oswald’s head as the grumpy little murder-bird complains the whole damn time*

*cut to ed making sure he has a walking stick because the umbrella is a dead giveaway but he needs something for his leg*

*smash-cut to me being trash. oh wait. that’s all the time.”

alright. rant kind of over for now. 

i am HERE FOR the moment in the lab where Ed has the police scanner running and he hears news of Oswald and drops the thing (tooth?) he is holding in his tweezers and stares at the radio. I AM HERE FOR IT. 

i’m slightly less here for butch’s drill-bit arm though it does give him a nice bond-villain vibe

otp: strangely enough i am kind of fond of you 

(Tabitha is me trying to flirt: “you don’t suck i guess whatever”)

come on, Mr. Fries, be cool 

chill out, Mr. Fries, no need for such a... frosty reception 

Harvey Bullock saying “you don’t deserve these lips” is now my preferred method of rejection

“froze her?” “told you it was weird” - oh my sweet summer child you don’t even KNOW how weird this is going to get

(when will there be live penguins wearing tiny rockets you cowards?????)

okay there’s a ton to unpack in this ed-explains-the-roses-and-liquid-nitrogen scene but i’m not going to unpack any of it because i spend a whole chapter doing that in my very long fanfic and i don’t want to spoil it for y’all... i promise it’s super extra, though, and very shippy. you’re welcome. 

i will, however, take a tiny moment to FREAK OUT about ed shattering the rose and saying “i don’t like being called names, detective” through gritted teeth because DAMN that’s a good moment

also harvey looking at ed in this scene is harvey staring into the void and the void staring back - i like to think he saw the riddler in that moment. i just really love it it’s super powerful okay??? 

jim: “what is your relationship with oswald cobblepot?” ed: “i believe the kids today refer to it as “endgame”? i admit the terminology is a little fuzzy...”

(i’m not sorry)

“saying the word ‘Cobblepot’ with gravitas: Ed Nygma edition” 

penguin looks so tiny being dragged through the GCPD bullpen in a coat that’s too big for him. 

also ed watching oswald get thrown in the holding cell #hearteyes

i LOVE this interrogation scene. oswald is beat up, cold, arrested, wearing borrowed clothes and he still has all the power in the scene. 

HOWEVER - why does he cover for jim, here? honest question. is he still kinda infatuated with jim? his he hoping this will pay off in the long run? what’s his game here? 

victor, your research is cold comfort in this hard time of illness (#i’llneverstop)

dear victor, being able to freeze someone without bringing them back is just murdering them more slowly. delayed-murder. 

hey it’s me, shipper trash, back again to talk about the scene where ed and oswald chat through the bars of the holding cell. 

first - the overhead shot of ed pretending to look through files and oswald sitting in the cell is awesome. just... awesome

“you doing okay? you look kind of funky” - ED STAHP he’s the head of the gotham mob - ugh he’s too cute i mean, normal things. i’m fine

sub-point: oswald’s tiny smile and laugh tell me that my above freakout is also his internal monologue

ed just wants to helpppppp they LOVE EACH OTHER (i’m FINE)

i wish we had a scene of ed leaving flowers on Gertrud’s grave that would have been nice i think

gee, i wish ed had gone to visit ed in Arkham so i didn’t have to write 100k of fanfic fixing that (jokes, i loved writing it)

Lucius Fox explaining cryogenics to Harvey is the epitome of patience. he is a better soul than any in Arkham

oh this scene in Arkham is so cringey i feel so bad for oswald (yes i know he killed lots of people just let me be sad about this)

“my name is oswald cobblepot” is gotham’s “harriet jones, prime minister”

*dalek voice* “we. know. who. you. are.”

Victor’s a cool customer in this tense lab experiment. #i’mhilarious

i’m having Fringe flashbacks watching this body melt and not in a good way

any fellow Fringe fans out there? yes? no? 

why the hell isn’t there a refill order on Nora’s medication? how did that happen? 

Alright let’s take a moment to appreciate the hell out of BD Wong as Hugo Strange because holy shit he knocks it out of the park. 

remember how i said earlier that oswald still has all the power in the scene with barnes? yeah this scene where he shakes hands with strange you can just see all the power gather around strange like - i was immediately genuinely afraid for oswald’s safety

he’s got to stand toe-to-toe with the worst of the worst in gotham and still have the upper hand and his presence on screen makes that happen from moment 1

those pink glasses are awesome and i love them 

i really like Mr. Freeze’s homemade outfit it’s adorable 

why is Freeze bothering to hide the bodies at this point? like he really should just run - he has the meds and doesn’t need the bodies

back to BD Wong because i love him

he’s so creepy i love the way he chuckles through the word “yes” 

he’s just got this low, rumbling voice - never yelling, never talking faster - that you absolutely have to listen to whenever he talks. such a great contrast to ozzie’s scream-crying 

oswald’s freckles are very cute in this scene which is a weird thing to focus on i realize but we don’t really see them much in other scenes and they are cute

the little power-play with the tea cup - i love it. oswald pouring tea for himself, hugo taking it away. so. much. intensity. and. passive. aggression. i. love. it. 

now, after all this time, nora finds the murder-basement - freaks out, then just sits there staring at the body. 

harvey and jim arguing over the name is pure though i love them they are absolute disasters. 

while conceptually i’m aware i’m supposed to be invested in victor fries as a character i’m just not - it was a good call to push him mostly to the background after this. 

jfc the guy in arkham gouging out his own eyes i forgot about that. did i mention i LOVE all the arkham plots it is my favourite setting in gotham 

ed doing a little crouch to check for the missing dead body under the table then just going “huh” is like... peak gotham. ed’s got the hang of this city 

“also seems to have had a rather unhealthy relationship with his deceased mother” - hugo strange, not afraid to tell the truth we all try not to talk about

everytime the newspapers give someone a nickname i headcanon it’s valerie vale, living her best life, naming literally every batman villain 

... alright folks i know it’s been a year since i finished one of these but i’m back at it on the regular now so, stay tuned if you enjoy this sort of nonsense. 

[dexer-von-dexer]

Death Stranding Game Awards Analysis

Okay, so I think I have a vague idea of what Death Stranding is about.

In the beginning of the Game Awards footage, Norman Reedus begins by listing a bunch of "explosions":

An explosion that created time and space (the Big Bang)

An explosion that "set a planet spinning" (the creation of the Sun and the Earth)

An explosion that created life as we know it (The Cambrian Explosion? Or maybe just the creation of the earliest life? Either way this "explosion" is more metaphorical than literal).

It's implied the game takes place after "the next explosion." So what does that mean?

There's a pattern to this: each thing created by each "explosion" uses the last thing as a basis in some way. Time and space are the most fundamental things we know (unless you talk to a string theorist or a theologian). The Earth and Sun were “set spinning in that space.” Life uses the Earth and Sun to survive. And so "whatever comes next"... must use life itself in some way.

And so everything begins to make sense. Sort of.

Read more for more detailed analysis of the game footage (WARNING: extremely long and full of images!):

In the footage, we see Norman waking up after some sort of incident. It’s raining, there’s mud everywhere, there’s a dead body in a body bag with some sort of gold foil over its face (?) and someone is trapped under a toppled truck.

(Apologies for the YouTube slider)

Anyway, we can see that these people are wearing some kind of hazmat suit, and that one of them has a light on a robot arm. Which suddenly starts acting up and alerting its owner. It appears this robot arm thingy acts as some kind of alarm for when the eldritch beasties arrive.

And suddenly, the man under the truck starts aging rapidly:

I think this is probably the effect of one of the things after them. They feed on life, so they’re feeding on his life force.

At this point, the man with the robo-arm shouts to Norman Reedus’ character, who we learn is named Sam. Norman “Sam” Reedus whispers back “Shut up! Don’t even breathe!” Apparently, Norman knows more than these people for some reason. And in response, the man with the arm and the now-ancient man under the truck both put their hands to their faces to hold their breath.

And then something invisible starts making big ol’ handprints on the side of the van:

It rounds the corner, and the robot arm pipes down a bit. Apparently, the eldritch beasties (which I’ll call Life Eaters from now on) aren’t attracted to sound or movement itself, since the robot arm is making a bunch of noise on its own. But specifically, they’re attracted to the sounds of life. Breathing, heartbeats, etc.

Anyway the body bag turns black, freaks out, and then gets sucked into the mud. So that’s neat.

Yeah, still not sure what that’s all about. Maybe the person in the body bag was still alive, and the Life Eaters took them? Or maybe they were dead, and the Life Eaters reanimated them? Why the golden foil skull mask? Why is it spewing gold dust? Anyway, let’s just forget about that for now. That’ll obviously be answered later. Or maybe not. But at least not in this game footage.

Norman sees a big figure in the fog, and the handprints start moving towards him, so he shuts his eyes and holds his breath:

But the Life Eaters instead make a beeline for the man under the truck, and start dragging him into the mud just like the body bag:

And to “save” him, the man with the robo-arm... shoots him in the head.

This is really important. We’ll see why later.

Anyway, a mysterious black-cloaked figure with a three-pronged robo arm literally floats down from on high and directs Norman and the robo arm man to... safety, probably.

And it seems they trust this person, because they turn around and leave.

But the robo-arm freaks out:

And the fetus that the man is carrying (which the man is apparently carrying, btw), also freaks out:

(This baby is important somehow. It was featured in the reveal footage too. Is it immune to the Life Eaters? Is it a baby Life Eater? Is it something else? We just don’t know yet. But it’s obvious this baby is some sort of MacGuffin.)

Anyway, the mud quickly turns to quicksand as the truck sinks, and the man with the robo-arm tells Norman to run and drops the fetus into the rapidly liquefying mud.

This is obviously for the baby’s protection, as we’ll see in a moment.

The man, now baby-less, tries to commit suicide:

But instead gets pulled into the air by his ankles, and misses:

And things start floating. He can’t reach his gun, so he pulls out a knife instead. He stabs himself several times:

But he doesn’t die.

This is the key here. The Life Eaters don’t feed on life and kill it, they feed on things that are still living, and once they catch you they can keep you alive and use you. That’s why he killed the other guy. That’s why he tried to kill himself. He was trying to save him from becoming an immortal living battery for Cthulhu for all eternity. Yikes.

Anyway Norman picks up the fetus and his own robo-arm activates:

And speaking of Cthulhu:

This is probably what the Life Eaters actually look like. Or at least one part of them. Or something.

The guy with the robo-arm, still unfortunately alive, gets sucked into its head, which then explodes.

Norman is then transported to somewhere underwater. He’s naked now, and surrounded by other naked people floating around. A big tentacle monster floats above the surface.

This is probably where the Life Eaters keep their human batteries. The squid thing is probably checking up. Kinda like The Matrix, only wetter.

After the camera pans past some fish and a whale, we see the truck door, which apparently belongs to some organization called BRIDGES:

Nice logo. I like the spiderweb. Anyway, there’s also a dreamcatcher:

Dreamcatchers are common totem objects used by the Ojibwe people. It’s shaped like a spiderweb and hung over childrens’ beds so that the Ojibwe deity Asibikaashi (the ”Spider Woman”) can watch over and protect them. However, it has since been co-opted to be used as as a generic “Native American” symbol meaning... basically nothing. Just a trinket to buy at gift stores and hang under your rear-view mirror along with your fuzzy dice and teddy bear. It’s had its life stolen from it.

(Apologies if I get any of this wrong. I am not Native American. Please feel free to correct me on any of this.)

Anyway beneath the dreamcatcher we see another Norman Reedus, fully clothed, with a bunch of maggots/caterpillars swimming around him:

And we take a brief excursion into his mouth and down his throat, into his stomach, where the baby is apparently safe and sound and gives us an adorably creepy thumbs-up to show that it’s safe:

And once we leave Norman’s mouth, he’s back on dry land:

He coughs up some black bile and a few of those maggot things:

Which then... float up into the sky?

Are these things another kind of Life Eater? Maybe just tiny, mostly harmless ones that act more like normal parasites than eldritch gods?

Anyway, he notices the baby’s gone from the jar and a single tear rolls down his face:

Hmm, more Native American symbolism. This is likely a visual reference to the infamous “Keep America Beautiful” ad campaign, in which a Native American played by an Italian-American in comically misappropriated attire sheds a single tear to weep for America’s lost natural beauty.

An ad with its heart in the right place, sure, but the irony is strong with this one. It’s pretty famous for being effective, memorable, and terrible at the same time. And given the previous symbolism with the dreamcatcher, another infamously sanitized and misapproprated piece of Native American iconography, I can’t help but think there’s a pattern here.

After this, we see the iconic shot of Norman witnessing five floating figures above the crater where the giant Cthulhu was, before cutting to title.

Anyway, what the f just happened? What does any of this mean? What are the key things we can take away from this?

Well, here’s what I’ve come up with:

1) This story is apocalyptic, or maybe post-apocalyptic. It concerns an event in which eldritch beings appear one day to start scooping up humans to use as living batteries. The organization BRIDGES either summoned/created them, is fighting to stop them, or both. Norman Reedus is probably a normal civilian who gets caught up in the middle of it, and becomes a living host for the Funky Fetus, which is the last hope for humanity or something.

And

2) Kojima is using this plot about eldritch life-stealing beings that humanity is powerless to stop at least in part as an allegorical metaphor about colonialism and cultural annihilation, particularly concerning Native American peoples.

That’s what I got out of it, at least. And if that’s true, then damn. Props to Kojima. I can’t wait to see more of this game.

And if someone has more insight into some more Native American imagery present in this footage that I lack the knowledge to notice, point it out please! I’m eager to see what’s there.

[randomidiocyncrazies]

i found a wip!changeling fic when digging through my google docs, and finished writing it as best as i could. it was longer than i expected it to be, but then again i’ve been playing this character for a long time so i suppose it’s inevitable (also, it’s not actually that long) details start to get really hella vague near the end thanks to my inability to remember relevant plot details also, if you feel i had grossly misrepresented anyone’s characters please tell me and i’ll rewrite it (it’s mostly lolcat’s perception of other characters so it’s not Super Objective, but still.) i’m glad i finally finished this. even though it’s no longer relevant in my life, the 4 years i spent with this character and the community was incredibly meaningful, and something i’ll remember fondly

what do now (or, LOLcat tries to make sense of things)

Making choices can be tough when you don't know shit, like, 99% of the time. set after the doritoes bombed/allowed a friend to bomb a gas station in east gilead, and up to lolcat’s geist powers coming into play.

Warnings: alcohol, violence (ment.), murder, captivity and other standard fae things

Alcohol is a weird wobbly thing. It makes your nose twitch, it tastes bad, and if you have too much you feel gross and smell funky and everything hurts the next day. But people drink it all the time. She has no idea why Frances likes this stuff so much. It for sure doesn’t make her feel better about -- what just happened.

They shouldn’t have forgotten about that human guy. It’s their fault.

She takes another nasty sip. Maybe it’s punishment, she decides, coughing a little the way she does when there’s a hairball itching to get out. Maybe people drink it when they’ve done something Bad. But that doesn’t quite explain Frances: she drinks pretty much all the time. Besides, someone told her that Good and Bad all depends on what else is happening anyway (like people asking for Frances because they want her to shoot things; like maybe adding magic leaves to make people happy isn’t the best thing to do. Sooner or later, Banner said, she’s gonna have to make her own decisions.). If she wants to have a say, if she wants what she thinks to matter -- and she does, though she knows most people write her off, and wait a minute, how exactly do people write others off anyway, with magic ink? Or maybe they’re all really just squiggly lines in a book? Maybe she’s not even alive. Maybe she’s just a pigment(?) of someone’s imagination, maybe she’s not real --

But she feels real, with the slide of liquid fire down her throat and the memory of burning metal and salt water churning in her gut. The heavy feeling around her heart when she met Frances’ eyes amidst the flashbang of glass and too-late realizations that there was someone still inside the gas station had felt real too.

Anyway, back on topic. Booze as punishment doesn’t really make sense for Frances. If LOLcat knows anything (and there isn’t a lot that she knows, but she’s sure of this) it’s that Frances is Good, that Frances takes care of things she and Luna doesn’t understand, that Frances tries to help, that Frances does not deserve punishment like this.

Or maybe it’s not punishment. Maybe it’s some kind of test, because after a while it makes everything warm and nice even though it tastes gross. The coziness is maybe like a reward for pushing past the ickyness, like the difference between There and Here and Friends and Masters, like something that is not-real but real.

Maybe as long as they don’t overdo it, as long as they’re Good enough, there’s still hope and a happy ending for them.

---

Luna left to see the world, or something, with Rain, though LOLcat isn’t quite sure how Luna’s gonna see it all exactly -- unless maybe she’s gonna go on a spaceship? Sexy John could probably give her one, because he’s really rich and he’s nice like that. Kind of hard to understand sometimes (all the time) but he’s a pretty okay guy aside from the time he made Luna cry. But Luna forgave him, so he’s their friend now! They had dinner and everything, even, in his big underwater house-castle filled with shiny things. The fish was really good, as was the cheeseburger, and Sexy John has really tasty fruit punch too. Fruit punch that makes everything look and feel sorta wobbly, but in a fun, exciting way.

Anyway, the roadtrip is something Luna really wants to do, and she’ll meet up with Kate later anyway, so there’s that. LOLcat hopes she has fun -- maybe she can introduce the Avatar to other people, which would be neat.

And then Frances left too, looking for her... law-brother? Brother inside the law? LOLcat thought they’re running from the law in most cases, but whatever. It was someone in some place far away, called Ironland. She’s not really sure how Frances’s gonna deal with all the iron around, but Frances is smart so LOLcat’s sure she’d be able to figure something out. And apparently Ironland has tons of guns and things that go boom from the way Frances tells it, so Frances should be okay. (There’s also something about potatoes, but by that time all LOLcat really paid attention to was the fact that it’s very far away.)

Like Luna, Frances doesn’t know when she’ll be back, either, so it’ll just be LOLcat on Teh Bukkit for -- a long while, at least. It’s a little scary, because Frances was the one who found her on this side after LOLcat sneaked past the unlocked door and ran, thorns scratching bloody lines into her when she stumbled too close. Frances was one of the first Doritoes along with her and Bryce. After Bryce got kind of weird and left, after Luna arrived, after they all did something that LOLcat’s still trying to make up for, Frances is still here, a constant in LOLcat’s post-Master life. (But not her postmaster life, because she hasn’t got one of those; she hasn’t worked a day at the post office. All those squiggly lines and all.)

But Frances wanted to go alone, so there’s that. LOLcat still has to take care of Tom and be the best mom ever, now that Frances is gone, except three days after Frances left Tom vanished, with a note of squiggly lines on his pillow. Nonna told her what it said, feeding her cookies without happy magic leaves; there’s been a lot less of them ever since Banner had that talk with them, and anyway Tom has always been really smart and kind of more like a mom than LOLcat anyway, so maybe this is for the best because while Frances is busy looking after everyone -- people like Bryce and LOLcat and Luna and probably her lawful brother who is... younger? But older than her too, faery time is weird like that -- someone should look after Frances. And when her friends are away LOLcat will keep Frances’s room and workshop the way it was, and Luna’s too, which doubled as Tom’s (it’s kind of funny how they’re never in the same place together), in case they come back early. She takes a look at the furry rainbow blanket in Luna’s room, smells the lingering scent of gin and heated metal in Frances’s workshop, and slides the doors shut.

It’s alright. They’ll be back before she knew it.

(If only Frances didn’t take all the booze with her; LOLcat thinks she’d like some fuzzy-headed reward now, even though all she did was seal the rooms up.)

---

Things were quiet, without the others around. Nonna moved out a while ago with Pookie, found at last, and Echo, who stitched his soul back together. They have meals together sometimes -- well, Echo and LOLcat does in any case, though Echo seems like she’s in trouble again so it’s a little random. She talked with Tim (who is really shiny and a used big words sometimes, but he makes it easy to understand and doesn’t make fun of people) and the Spring court a little, and they told her about this thing called Fight Club. It’s hard work and it hurts a lot sometimes, but it’s also fun. Besides, you get to learn stuff and they heal you afterwards. She thinks Frances would like it, even though weapons aren’t really allowed in fights. She meets some new friends who aren’t so new, like Nak, and some friends who are new, like Vexalot, though she doesn’t meet him meet him, since they talk on the interwebz and all (see, Fight Club teaches you things like how to read, and now she can actually go read what the Avatar wrote to her before they all left East Gilead). She’s back to feeling a little queasy by the smell of booze because it’s weird, not because it reminds her of Frances on the couch giggling at that painting man in the TV while she and Luna stuffed themselves with candy. All in all things are looking pretty good right now. She still misses Luna and Frances and Tom everyday, but she’s doing okay.

She hopes they are doing okay, too.

---

Finding strippers for the Frost Father was kinda annoying to the max. Nothing like the interwebz said it’d be like. People thought she was lying when she said she’s an adult, and they didn’t even give her a captcha to prove it or anything. At least she got to drink a teeny tiny bit of expensive boozy grape juice with Vex and Nak; it still smells kind of strange, but it doesn’t, like, burn her throat. Frances wouldn’t like it (too sweet), and neither would Luna (too much burn).

Also, the new Summer king scares her a little. She doesn’t get why people want to be king or queen (or that word she can’t pronounce but basically means the same thing) in the first place, and shooting a court member who’s, like, 10 or something really takes the cake, except the cake’s a lie because there was no cake. It’s pretty awesome that he can still be king even though he’s a human though. The Frost Father used to call the Doritoes baby horses, which is silly, and banned them on the island just because they believe in the Avatar and the Ceiling Cat, so LOLcat used to think Summer is very hard -- no, that’s not the right word, is it, even though the feeling fits. Words are confusing -- and maybe kind of against new things in general. But he let them onto Summerset after Cleo talked to him, and he let a human take his place, so obviously he’s nicer than she thought. He’s nice to Cord too, even though Cord was kind of maybe definitely evil for a while, but they’re almost husbands, and husbands should be nice to each other, so that’s good. And! He shared his booze, so he’s kind of a bro now. The wedding’s going to be fun!

---

The wedding is the opposite of fun; SEEDs attacked and kidnapped a bunch of people, Celeste included, and when she came back there’s something not quite right about her, something scary. Maybe if Frances was there she could’ve shot the thing holding Celeste back -- shooting people is technically bad but it’s the kind of thing people asked Frances to do before, and besides Celeste is kind of their friend even if she never knows if Celeste is making fun of them or not -- or Luna could’ve got to her and took her back sooner. Tom might be able to stop the fighting before it even started, but Tim tried that and it didn’t exactly work.

There’s something not quite right with what Celeste has with Anon either, since Anon seems to spend more time being scared than happy when he’s with her. LOLcat kind of shipped them for a while, but she’s not sure how she feels about it now. At least hide-and-seek buys him some time away from her, though they don’t actually pay or anything (most people would say taking stuff for free isn’t right, and that’s kind of true, but who were they supposed to pay anyway, goblins? No thanks. She still remembers the whole thing with Inanna missing bits of herself. Goblins are seriously scary.) Thinking about Celeste like that is mean though, because it’s not her fault she got taken away, and it sounds like something as bad as most people’s time with their Masters happened to her. Maybe Celeste needs some booze, because it helped Frances, but Anon -- who’s having his Dude Talk with Vex while Celeste’s still counting -- would probably skin her alive if she gave Celeste any, and there’s enough trouble around town anyway.

---

Sexy John dies (they say he’s helping the Masters; maybe that’s true, but… he’s so nice to Luna, after the first time, and being nice means he’s good, right? Or maybe he’s one of those Affably Evil guys, even though LOLcat’s not quite sure what ‘aff’ means exactly; does it mean the same thing as ‘arf’? Is he secretly a dog?) and after a while crazy things are happening on the island everywhere -- for example, voting for an Official Leader at Seahold.

Yes, people on the Seahold voted sometimes, and yes, there’s always an unofficial leader around, but not like this. The Seahold isn’t supposed to be like a court -- sure, the leader’s supposed to make sure nothing important goes KABOOM, but each fleet is free to do as they please. What you do is your business, and as long as you don’t bring your mess into the Seahold nobody really cares, because everyone is their own person. Everyone here is their own King, or Queen, or that other word. Everyone is free. This is pretty much the reason why she and her friends (who are still gone) chose to live there in the first place. Having one leader to steer everyone just seems... wrong, somehow.

It’s good that there is more than one leader by the end (she’s not quite sure if the Burger King was cheating, because he’s Winter’s King and not Courtless, but then again the Seahold is not a court so it’s okay???), though she doesn’t know how she ended up as one of them -- she doesn’t really know what to do next, but she knows she wants to help the others fight for their islands. She wishes her (long gone) friends are here instead. Frances would know what needs to be done, Tom would know what to say, and Luna’s friends with everybody so she knows what they’re like. LOLcat, like always, is just guessing at everything.

“Hell no,” Captain Nope declares when they start talking about SEEDs, “I’m not going to wait around for the inevitable -- we’re up against them, it’d be a bloody miracle if we’re still alive by the end of this.”

LOLcat lived through miracles, if not here then in East Gilead; she remembers beating the Masters together with her friends, though the mess with Sid feels less like winning and more like the heavy feeling in her chest after the gas station incident. It’ll be okay, she wants to tell Captain Nope when he orders his men to flee the area, stay and fight and together we may win! But she doesn’t try to stop him either, or Captain Hammer for that matter, because this is the Seahold, and everyone is free to do as they pleased. The fact that she is one of the leaders makes no difference. (But maybe they would’ve stayed if it was one of the others instead.)

Squeaker scuttles towards the Burger King -- he’s kinda sketchy, and not the drawing kind of sketch either, but he’s pretty helpful even though she’s pretty sure he thinks they’re all idiots -- while Captain Obvious whirls around to rejoin his crew, making plans for the war ahead. She watches them go, wishing Frances and Luna are here with her.

(But maybe it’s for the best; it’s probably safer, where they are. Don’t be selfish. She sends a quick prayer to the Ceiling Cat to watch over them.)

---

She narrowly avoids the mouthful of teeth snapping at her, bringing His Fishyness down onto the creature’s head with a thwack. People from the other islands think the Seahold is full of pirates (the Jack Sparrow kind, not the downloading movies kind), but that’s not true. Sure, most people know how to work a boat or swim, because it’s not fun living in the Seahold otherwise. But these boats are mostly for living in, not fighting with, so after a while people started loading flowerpots and silver spoons and empty rum bottles into the canons when they ran out of ammo to fire at the hedgebeasts.

The water around them is red and smells like metal. Gabriel, newly Turned and growling, fires another shot as Feorra smashes her hammer on a huge fish with rows of pointy teeth when it jumps out of the water. A croc (not the shoes) bites at LOLcat’s ankles, and she swings His Fishyness down until it lets go and looks for an easier target. She pants, shifting her grip on the oversized boomerang, trying to ignore the sharp sting of salt water on open wounds as she staggers towards one of the newer Summer Court changelings being ambushed by two crocs when something throws itself at her suddenly, like a jumpscare. She sees long, shining teeth, and --

Everything goes dark.

---

When she wakes up she’s floating above the ground, and all she wants to do is go back to sleep again; but no, she feels herself pulled towards Autumn island --  maybe she’s going to meet the Ceiling Cat? -- and she wonders if she had made up for the gas station, if she had done more Good things than Bad. (She doesn’t want to become a faceless chili pepper.) She misses Luna and Frances, and she wants to see them now -- where are they? Are they safe? Why aren’t there here by her side? Will she ever see them again? (I just want to see them one last time.) Will she even know them in the next life? What if she’s too Bad to have a next life?

But then she sees Nak, and Claire, and Ceiling Cat. Not the Ceiling Cat, of course, but she calls herself Ceiling Cat, so maybe she’s kind of like an Emissionary or whatever. She certainly seems powerful enough, and offers a Deal: go on a treasure hunt for her, and she’ll let LOLcat live again. Kinda. The details aren’t 100% clear yet, but LOLcat’s pretty sure she gets to keep being herself and not end up as a rotting zombie, which seems okay, though a lot of stuff that seems okay actually aren’t, come to think of it. Claire’s smart, and she thinks this Ceiling Cat is dangerous, so that means she’s probably right. Besides, Deals with a big D are generally bad ideas anyway.

But.

LOLcat wants to be there when her friends come back, so. Yeah.

She takes the Deal. (The smile Ceiling Cat gives her is as sharp as the glass her Master used to feed her.) She prays to the Avatar -- hoping that she chose well, that she isn’t making a mistake, that Frances and Luna would be proud of her. She takes Ceiling Cat’s token, closes her eyes...

And wakes in the land of the living.

---

The war is over, but nothing is the same. There’s a weird bubble thing around the islands, and also Ceiling Cat is living in her head now. Does this mean her head is now a ceiling? It still feels like her head, but where else would Ceiling Cat live, if not in the ceiling? If Ceiling Cat lived somewhere else she wouldn’t be Ceiling Cat anymore, would she?

Then again, LOLcat moved from East Gilead to the isles, and LOLcat is still mostly LOLcat, so. (BUT! LOLcat doesn’t live in a place called LOL, where she lives isn’t part of her name, not like the way it’s part of Ceiling Cat’s. BUT BUT! The Ceiling Cat in her head isn’t the Ceiling Cat, so maybe the ceiling part doesn’t really matter that much?? This is confusing.)

Anyway. Being roommates with Ceiling Cat -- brainceiling-mates -- is kinda fun, because she’s never alone now, there’s always someone in her head even when she’s the only person on Teh Bukkit (though Ceiling Cat can get a little catty sometimes. So what if LOLcat still doesn’t really know how these new death and dying powers work, they’re kind of over 9000 on the scary scale okay?)

And speaking of scary... She knows about what it’s like to be beaten to death now, when she walks past the body of a dead human woman on the street with a few of her teeth pulled out, and she knows the burn of black smoke in weak lungs and split blisters along running feet when she walks around a house firebombed a few days ago; she knows what it’s like to have someone stab you, over and over again, and the snap of sharp teeth on your neck. She’s been lowkey feeling the deaths on the islands ever since she came back with Ceiling Cat sharing her head, and there is so much of it.

Still, she tries to go about her business, srs or otherwise, but everyone is unhappy. Things are hard, people are dying, and she is weak and hungry all the time. Everyone is hungry all the time, even the humans. (Especially the humans.) A group of them is yelling at the people LOLcat’s with, picking a fight, and by the time it’s over both sides are bleeding, red like her Master’s favorite drink once upon a time, and oh.

One of the humans is dying from a sharp stick through his tummy.

Banner told her a long time ago that sometimes you need to decide between what’s Good and what’s Bad. Nobody else can do it for you. Something normally good might be bad sometimes, like too much of Sexy John’s yummy fruit punch makes you wake up with a headache the next day, and sometimes Bad things can be good, like when Frances shot people trying to hurt their friends.

Killing is Bad, but he’s not like the gas station guy back on East Gilead. This human would’ve died anyway, with or without her. She is hungry and he is in so much pain, it’s better that he doesn’t have to suffer all the way through, right? The feeling of all your blood dripping away through a hole in your tummy is something dark moving through the bushes. It’s so, so cold, it drags on forever, you’ll never be warm again, you know you’ll just get colder and colder and there’s nothing you can do about it, and nobody who isn’t dying or dead really knows how it feels.

But LOLcat knows, now, so she does something about it.

[cafeconblu]

10/15/2018

Two things; One, I know I said I was going to try and write everyday but honestly I think I was being a bit optimistic, Two, I’m high as shit so this might get a little random but fuck it, its my blog and if its going to represent me then let it be known I’m random and my mind wanders extremely lol. Like all I can think about right now is how good this stupid little bottle of gel I bought for three funky ass dollars is, which I coulda used to get a whole jug of gel from the hood beauty supply, but instead I got this tiny baby bottle and that shit holds like the grip of God herself lol. 

Any who, lets check in.  Today is Monday October 15, it is 11:01 am, its windy as fuck outside, the wind is knocking my spray cans around on my balcony, and scaring the high outta me. It’s little things like this that remind me I still have a lot of fear inside me that I need to let go and heal many more trauma wounds. I’ve honestly been doing so well lately, I’ve been hanging out with Kilea a bunch, painting new meaningful and powerful pieces, I’ve even found someone that might be sparking my interest. But for my own personal healing, Im not allowing myself to to become involved in anything that could be distracting. I only do things that make me happy, if anything becomes chaotic or stressful, its out. 

I feel like I’m starting to really understand myself more, allowing myself to be gentle and compassionate towards myself rather than my old pattern of guilt and self shaming. Today I realized that I’m really just an introverted person and theres nothing wrong with that. I don’t have to have a bunch of friends, I don’t have to be social all the time, it’s okay for me to want to be in my house and work alone with no physical or verbal contact with people besides my best friend and a couple other select few I allow into my space. It’s funny because when people meet me they see how outgoing and bubbly I am but really thats just like my super hero disguise. If you really pay attention you would realize I rarely look people in the eyes, I fidget, I even stutter over my words from time to time. I think that might be why I am comfortable in front of my own phone camera, it’s in my control, I can be myself, no one is really there, and when I watch my story back later I always have the option to delete what I posted once i inevitably find something I don’t like about myself or just find myself annoying lol. Its so weird and contradicting, I love and want to help people but I also get nervous in a crowd. I swear I’m one the the strangest and kindest people you will ever meet, I honestly confuse myself half the time. Being a Virgo, with a Sagittarius rising, and a moon in Gemini was a curse and a blessing.. lemme tell yah lemme tell yah. 

Being me is interesting.. I wonder why my soul gave me this shell to wander this realm in? Being me is also pretty cool, sometimes I feel like I’m just kickin back and watching myself grow. Kinda like one of those pretty time lapse videos on Planet Earth II. Yes, the second Planet Earth cause their videos were more high quality and epic as fuck. Speaking of epic as fuck, Kilea and I are going to people watch a Costco today and its bout to be lit. After we will go to a Pumpkin Patch so I can hopefully pet a llama, then come back to the house and make shrimp salad like the healthy bitches we trynna be lol

Anyway thats all I got for you today.. heres a quote i like so I can give off an artsy deep vibe for my sign off. 

 “Don’t let the sadness of the swamp get to you.”

- Yung Bluskeeona