#okay lets shower n eat n then hitting club bed with dj pillow | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phagodyke · 7 months ago

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pretty okay gym sesh... not my best but still had fun. also ended up helping out a couple strangers who weren't in the group I was climbing with bc I can't NOT give tips to ppl trying routes I spent good time working on....

#couple I'm very close to nailing but left too late and didnt have it in me today. but next week ill go earlier and head straight for them #cant wait to discover what horrible new bruises and scrapes ive gained when i wake up tomorrow morning..#also TORRENTIAL welsh rain here which was fun to cycle back in. in the dark 🫣#i was waiting for my brakes to give out or for my bike to just skid straight into incoming traffic but all good i survived #very very tired. but i need to shower before i sleep cuz i STINKKK. and also eat a snack im hungry again even tho i had dinner b4 i left #still a little sad but we move. trying not to make it a big deal so i can TALK ABOUT IT TMR!!!!!!#bc otherwise im just settling for feeling like this perpetually and im tired!!!! i want to understand!! i dont want to be hurt by ppl!!!#i want to be able to trust ppl and feel close to them and express it instead of isolating myself in defense at every tiny thing #and the only way to do that. is communication. and this is literally not even that big a deal its a stupid little thing #but it DOES bother me and well. i just want to try please let me be brave and respect my own feelings for once #damn just noticed im starting to get calloused hands from my bouldering... hell fucking yeah lets go #i prolly wont go again until next week tbh ill just do conditioning on fri or sat #met a guy whos trying to go every other day like goddamn. making the most of that membership huh. i wish i was on that level #but it takes me 2-3 days to recover usually so not yet....#also some ppl went over to roped climbing too towards the end but i chickened out i havent done it in years so 😭#and its SO HIGH.... and the amt of trust u have to have in the person belaying u ahhhhhh... dont like it #i like bouldering bc im not tied to anything n can just jump down n even if i slip im ok at controlling my fall #but ropes are so scary.. eventually tho i do wanna get back up there!!#okay lets shower n eat n then hitting club bed with dj pillow #.diaries

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