#okay im gonna stop spamming everyone soon but i missed them so much and im feeling better today

[misfithive]

PHONE BACKGROUNDS | Valentines Day

[mizunetzu]

PART 3 OF ITS YOUR FAULT PLS !!!! I LOVE IT EKDBJSHD

Well since y’all asked so nicely-

——————

Kuroo x reader - it’s your fault (pt. 3) (final)

⚠️warnings - angst

Pronouns - male, he/him

part 1 can be found here!

part 2 can be found here!

——————

Sports sucks. That’s what Kuroo knew about (y/n), yet he still egged him on to play volleyball with him. He had a choice to say no, which was what younger him was hoping for, yet he still did it in hope of gaining his affection.

All his life he thought he was annoying. All his life he’d been in the mindset of how annoying he was, and how blissful it would’ve been for him to just disappear off the face of the earth.

So when (y/n) suddenly stopped showing up to practice, Kuroo didn’t expect himself to get worried.

He was starting to miss all the clingy touches, or the ‘good morning, Kuroo-kun!’ every single morning practice. He didn’t realize how quiet the walk was to his classes, or to and from home, when (y/n) wasn’t there to fill the noise on random things he found cool or how his day was. He didn’t know how expensive the drink (y/n) religiously bought him from the vending machine was, even though he bought him the drink with a smile plastered on his face like it was nothing.

“Oh, (y/n)? He quit the team.”

Kuroo dropped the volleyball he was holding. He’d gone up to coach nekomata to ask where (y/n) was, and why he wasn’t showing up to practice. But he was regretting asking in the first place. Nekomata gave him a sympathetic look.

Kuroo picked up his volleyball, gave him the best smile he could afford, and walked away. Why was he so devastated? Why did his heart feel like it sunk into his stomach? Why was his chest hurting like that? He should’ve been glad that (y/n) was finally gone.

So why does his heart hurt so much?

————

Kuroo figured he’d stop by his apartment to see what was going on. It’s been weeks, yet he couldn’t find him anywhere in his classrooms, and he nor Kenma could reach him on his phone.

When he walked up the stairs, looking for the ever familiar door to his apartment, he was nervous. For once in his life when going to talk to the boy, he was nervous. It wasn’t a good feeling, he never felt nervous to talk to him before.

When he noticed the door slightly ajar, he clutched the apology basket of sweets in his hand tighter. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to apologize for, though. Maybe for yelling at him, or maybe for something else.

“...hello? (Y-y/n)?” When he opened the door, he was met face to face with construction workers, and a blank apartment. Kuroos heart stopped beating. A man, who Kuroo believes was the apartment owner, looked at Kuroo, to his schools jacket, and down to his basket saying “I’m sorry (y/n) :(“

“Oh? Are you here for that (h/c)-haired kid?” Kuroo nodded vigorously.

“Sorry bud. He moved out a few days ago.” Kuroo couldn’t hide the devastated frown from tugging at his lips. He mumbled a small “sorry” and spedwalked out of the building.

He spammed (y/n’s) phone, probably texting more than he ever did his whole life combined, with “where are you’s” and “hey look I’m sorry, okay? Please answer me’s”

None of them were even read.

Kenma didn’t react well to knowing one of his best friends moved away so suddenly. Unlike Kuroo, (y/n) was good friends with him, practically attached to the hip. When Kuroo told him he couldn’t find (y/n) at his apartment, Kenma clutched his ds harder and glared at the screen like it was it’s fault for making him disappear.

But as much as Kenma blamed the ds, they both knew it was Kuroos fault.

———

Kuroo strived to be a better person. He came to terms with his feelings for (y/n), and how he could never repeat his mistake again.

He grew to love (y/n), and he messed it up so bad.

He’d be sure to never lead anyone on again, minus when he’d lead his team to victory as their new captain. He’d try and hold less grudges, tell someone when he doesn’t like them, as to let them down easy instead of blowing up in their face, and even bought his team snacks and filled up their water bottles during practice.

Kuroo walked around the unknown streets of miyagi, scanning his eyes for a mop of bleached hair. He knew Kenma got distracted on his phone, but this was excessive, even for him.

Eventually, his eyes landed on two bright figures. Kenmas usual bright blond hair, and a tuft of orange next to him.

“Kenma!”

Kenmas head whipped up, and he shut off his phone, but then a flash of (h/c) came into his peripherals. He looked a little further down and locked eyes with someone who made his throat close up.

(Y/n).

He looked older. Not in the way that he looks physically older, but he carried himself with a somewhat mature, grown stance that made Kuroo so a double take. His hair was slightly longer and he was wearing a black team jacket instead of the red Nekoma jacket he used to wear. Shocked (e/c) colored eyes morphed into an expression of pure resentment, making Kuroos shocked happiness short lived. Kenma walked up next to him, about to ask what happened when Kuroo turned his head away, walking with his head down.

Kenma waved bye to Hinata, when his eyes landed on (y/n). He was talking to a silver headed guy, with a distasteful frown directed at Kuroo. He didn’t say anything though, just ducked his head and walked beside his captain.

———

(Y/n) kept his eyes fixed on the ground, as Nekoma and Karasuno stood in a line, facing eachother. Kenma was practically standing in front of him, shocked to the core, but also averting his gaze. Not just because (y/n), but Hinata next to the boy was staring at him with his mouth agape.

Eventually everyone filed into the gym, Hinata stopping Kenma to talk, while taketora eyed him menacingly. (Y/n) side-eyed the little interaction with an unwanted jealousy. He wanted to talk to Kenma, he WAS his childhood and best friend. But it soon dissipated when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

That jealousy turned into hatred.

“Can we talk, (y/n)?”

(Y/n) slapped Kuroos hand away and stepped past him, pushing him back slightly with his shoulder.

“Don’t call me that. You have no right. It’s

(L/n).”

Kuroo watched as (y/n) stepped into the gym, his lips pressed into a fine line.

—————

(Y/n) sat on a bench in the corner with an obviously closed off aura, watching as people set up the net or the players from both schools talked to eachother. He walked as Kuroo shook hands with Daichi, not noticing the mop of bleached hair sit himself next to him. (Y/n) flinched when he felt something brush his shoulder.

He whipped his head around to find Kenma, sitting right next to him, but looking straight in front of him. He said nothing, and fiddled with his fingers. Guess he didn’t change, even after a new school year.

(Y/n) relaxed a bit and went back to stalking his team and old teammates with a somewhat less intimidating aura. They sat in heavy silence for what seemed like forever, until (y/n) coughed into his Karasuno jacket.

“S-so how you been Ke-“

“So you’re just not gonna tell me why you left?”

Kenma was looking straight at (y/n), with his normal, neutral gaze. It looked like his normal face, but (y/n) knew how hurt he was. He understood, though. He would be hurt too if his best friend moved without saying goodbye.

“I’m...I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

More silence consumed them. Sounds of sneakers squeaking and the rustle of the net being hung up seemed to vanish under the cloud of quiet sheltering them. Kenma stood up.

“I’m not mad. But I know why you left. And I’m not saying it’s a stupid reason, but you should talk to him.”

Kenma walked away without another word, leaving (y/n) to trail his eyes over to his old teammate, now captain. The frown that summoned up on his face came naturally, despite taking Kenmas words to heart.

He also stood up, brushing himself off and turning his cheery attitude back on. Why play a game with a frown when you’re about to destroy your old team?

—————

(Y/n) wasn’t mad he lost. He was actually quite satisfied with ticking off some of his old teammates by receiving spikes or feints no one saw coming. He sort of felt like an inside man. A spy even. It wasn’t enough to secure a win, but (y/n) never really cared for that.

Everyone was bidding their new friends goodbye, or just idly standing by. He promised Kenma to unblock his number, but only if they never talked about Kuroo again. (Y/n) knew he was being petty, but if it meant never talking to that piece of shit again, so be it-

“Stop ignoring me.”

Speak of the fucking devil. (Y/n) didn’t turn around, choosing to clutch the edge of his black jacket instead.

“Then stop trying to fix a friendship that never existed, Kuroo.”

“Oi!” Kuroo grabbed onto (y/n’s) shoulder harshly, pulling him back and making him stumble a little. (Y/n) pried and clawed at Kuroos iron hard grip. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed Kuroos touch, a lot.

“Can we please have a civilized fucking conversation? I’m fuckin begging you here!”

“Stop fucking cursing and let go of me you fuckass scheming bitch!”

(Y/n) swung at Kuroos head, but avertedly missed. He wasn’t sure if he missed on purpose, or if Kuroo ducked. Kuroo grabbed onto (y/n’s) waist, earning a choked squeak, and hauled him over his shoulder. Kuroo looked for a secluded area, ignoring the fists digging repeatedly into his back and the confused stares he got passing by his team and (y/n’s) teammates.

Kuroo practically threw (y/n) off his back, him stumbling down and hitting the back of a wall a bit harshly, and trapped him between his body and the wall. Both of his hands were on either side of (y/n’s) head, and his legs were long enough to trap him in if he tried to escape.

(Y/n) shrunk back into the wall ever so slightly, but kept the scowl present on his face. Kuroo pursed his lips and sighed.

“(Y/n)-“

“Let me go. I don’t wanna tal-“

“GODDAMNIT (Y/N) IM BUSTING MY BALLS HERE TO TELL YOU THAT IM SORRY!” Kuroo slammed his hands against the wall again, earning a surprised flinch from the smaller boy. “FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! PLEASE!”

Kuroos eyes softened a bit when he finally met eyes with (y/n’s) petrified form, cowering against the wall with his arms tucked in shakily. (Y/n) was quick to push past Kuroo though, diving past him and turning around, free from the wall.

“You see-this is what I fucking hate about you! You act so slick and perfect to the point where you lead people on to think they mean something important to you! I wanted to be a writer, Kuroo! I gave that up to spend my time bouncing a fucking volleyball around with you, and what did I get?! Nothing! I only did it for your stupid friendship, yet I didn’t even get that!”

(Y/n) practically had steam rolling out up his ears, and his words dripped with pure hatred with each retort. Kuroo opened his mouth to speak, but (y/n) beat him to it.

“So if you really want to apologize, give me back the blood sweat and tears I wasted on this stupid volleyball shit!”

(Y/n) punched at Kuroos chest with trembling hands. He kept punching and hitting Kuroo until Kuroo gently grabbed his wrists and pulled him into a hug. Kuroo felt him balling his fists into his back, trying to push him away, but he knew he was stronger. (Y/n’s) mouth was muffled by the cloth of Kuroos shirt, yet he still kicked and screamed at the top of his lungs.

“LET ME GO! I WANT MY CHILDHOOD BACK! I WANT ALL THE YEARS I COULD’VE BEEN WRITING OR LITERALLY BE DOING SOMETHING I ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKE BACK! ITS YOUR FAULT! ITS YOUR FAULT THAT MY ARMS HURT EVERYDAY! ITS YOUR FAULT I GAVE UP ON WRITING! ITS YOUR FAULT! I HATE YOU! I HATE VOLLEYBALL! I FUCKING HATE YOU! I hate you! I-I hate...I....”

Yelling turned into incoherent sobs as (y/n’s) punches died out into love taps. Kuroo said nothing, rubbing circles onto (y/n’s) back, who finally gave up and weakly wrapped his arms around Kuroos waist. He stained Kuroo with his salty tears, choking out half assed “let me go”s in between hics and sobs like a broken record.

They stood like that in comfortable silence, Kuroo combing fingers through (y/n’s) hair while the smaller boys sobs turned into occasional sniffles. Kuroo rocked gently from side to side, attempting to calm him down until he was ready to talk.

“I just wanted to be your friend, stupid Kuroo...” his words were barely understandable through the cracks and sniffles of his voice-also being muffled by Kuroos chest-but the taller boy heard every word as clear as day. He rested his chin on top of (y/n’s) head, looking off to the side.

“Sorry. If it means anything, I was stupid enough to hold a childhood grudge against you. You did nothing wrong. I just...i was dumb and disliked you because I thought you were lazy and annoying even though you were anything but that and...yeah. Sorry.”

Kuroo pulled away from the hug, the cold air hitting (y/n) like a truck. He silently whined at the loss of contact, wiping away stray tears with his team jacket. Kuroo awkwardly held his hands behind his back, his tongue suddenly feeling too big to fit comfortably in his mouth.

“...I’m sorry too.”

(Y/n) averted his gaze, his eyes half lidded and puffy from crying. Kuroo looked at (y/n) with a blank expression.

“Why?”

“For um...being annoying or something. And like...bitching a lot. I’m sorr-.”

Kuroo grabbed hold of (y/n’s) shoulders and shook him violently. “Don’t apologize! You don’t have anything to be sorry for! It’s my fault! Let me take the blame!”

“God shut up you’re gonna make me cry again.”

“...sorry.”

Kuroo looked like a kicked puppy, which made (y/n) burst into a fit of laughter. Kuroos ears perked up as he was graced with the sight of (y/n) wiping happy tears off his face and clutching his stomach. It was a beautiful sight, so beautiful that it made Kuroos chest tighten.

Chuckles died out into snickers as (y/n) huffed and leaned against the wall.

“So-what are we? Friends?”

Kuroo hesitantly nodded, watching (y/n’s) face intently for any sign of protest. When (y/n) broke out into a smile, Kuroo felt like he was on cloud nine. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders after so long. He felt like he was flying.

“We should probably head back. I gotta go back to my schoo-“

“Yeah. Yeah that’s probably..smart...”

It was kind of bittersweet knowing you had to say goodbye to someone you just got your hands back on, but after (y/n) unblocked his number right infront of him before enveloping him in a hug, he supposed it was alright.

“Bye~! call me~” (y/n) mouthed out, stepping onto the bus. People started asking him if he was crying, or what that meltdown was about, but he just shrugged and put some earbuds in with a reserved smile.

Sports sucks. That’s the mindset (y/n) has, and probably will have forever.

But not when I’m with you.

——————

Epilogue:

“(Y/n)!” Kuroo ran up behind the boy and picked him up, twirling him around before setting him down. Tsukishima visibly gagged while Yamaguchi snickered behind him, stepping off the bus and preparing for the training camp.

“Yo! What’s up! God I missed you and your stupid hair.”

“I missed you too~”

...

“So...are we-“

“Yeah, that’s what we said on video chat right? I mean-if you meant it and all.”

“I DID!” Kuroo picked his new boyfriend up, this time placing a chaste kiss on the bridge of his nose.

“And god I love you so much.”

——————

And that’s it!! I hope you enjoyed this series!! Also thank you for 100 followers!! I’m so thankful!!

[izzyfandoms]

Chosen - Chapter Five

(This is a Gender-Swapped Sanders Sides high school au)

SUMMARY: Logan Berry, Dee Ceite, Patricia Foster, Virginia Picani and Regina and Rena Prince are all 16-year-old high school students. They live relatively normal lives, with ordinary lessons and ordinary crushes and ordinary families, until one day a monster shows up and attacks them after class, and everything suddenly changes.

SHIPS: Moxiety, Logince, Dukeceit

WARNINGS: Sympathetic Remus, Sympathetic Deceit, swearing, siblings arguing, sexual implications

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @ajdraws0430 @phantomofthesanderssides @creativity-killed-thekitten @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game

CHOSEN TAGLIST: @coasting-on-a-wave-of-apathy @littlestr @whispers-stuff-in-your-ear

Masterpost

FIRST CHAPTER | PREVIOUS CHAPTER

“And then Regina was like ‘what? I don’t have a crush on Logan!’ which is super silly ‘cos they’re so obvious and she’s told me that she likes Lo so many times!” Patricia rambled on.  

“Mmm,” Virginia hummed in agreement; she was painting Patricia’s nails with a pretty, dark purple nail polish. “It is pretty silly.”

It was Sunday, and they were currently at Virge’s house, in her room, sat together on her bed.

“Yeah!” Patricia blew a raspberry.  

Virge tapped her girlfriend’s knee. “Stop moving, you’re gonna mess up your nails.”

“Oh, sorry, honey!” Pat stopped moving. “Anyway, Logan totally likes her back, right? I mean, she’s basically told us. And Dee and Rena, too! They’re super-duper in love, I just wanna take their faces and smush them together until they get married and live happily ever after!”

“As entertaining as that would be,” Virge said, finishing Patricia’s left hand and moved to the right one. “We shouldn’t meddle. Let them deal with their own shit.”

Patricia tutted lightly. “Language.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Virge said. She examined her own nails – pastel blue, painted by Pat earlier – double checking that they hadn’t been damaged, though they were already dry. “You know I’m right, though. You’re always telling me not to interfere, no matter how often I want to tell them. They’ll figure it out on their own.”

Pat sighed. “Yeah, I know.” She then giggled. “Doesn’t mean we can’t still complain, though.”

Virginia hummed in agreement again, and the two sat in comfortable silence for almost a minute, as Virge finished painting Pat’s nails. Once she was done, the pigtailed girl looked over her hands appreciatively.

“Yay! Now my nails are your favourite colour and your nails are mine! It’s perfect!” Patricia giggled, beaming.

Her girlfriend gave her a small smile. “You’re adorable.”

Patricia giggled again, softly, a light blush on her cheeks. She leant forward, careful not to smudge either of their nails, pressing a kiss to the tip of her girlfriend’s nose. Virge waited a few moments, watching her girlfriend adoringly, before she pounced, the shorter girl falling back on the bed, the taller almost on top of her.  

Pat spluttered with laughter as Virginia tickled her sides, the purple-haired girl grinning mischievously as she did so.

“Ah, Virge!” Patricia exclaimed between laughter. “You’re gonna- you're gonna make me mess up my nail polish!”

Virginia finally stopped the onslaught of tickling, pushing herself up so she was hovering over her girlfriend, and shaking her head to get her hair out of her eyes.  

Patricia wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s neck, pulling her down to kiss her properly and closing her eyes.  

Virge kissed her back eagerly, her hands at her girlfriend’s waist. Pat’s lips were soft, as usual, and tasted vaguely sweet, like strawberries – she switched up the flavour regularly, so it was always a bit of a surprise. Virge’s lips, by contrast, were always slightly chapped, as she tended to chew them when she was especially anxious, but, in Patricia’s opinion, that didn’t make kissing her any less enjoyable.

“Ewwwwww!”

The two teenagers pulled apart immediately, their heads turning sharply to face the door, which was now open. Virginia’s eleven-year-old sister, Anne, was standing in the doorway, making a grossed-out face. She was wearing one of her sister’s old black-and-grey hoodies, and she had eyeshadow smudged under both eyes – she'd never admit it, but she was absolutely copying her older sister’s style.

“Get out my room!” Virge screeched, turning red. She sat up and grabbed one of her pillows, chucking it at her sister.

Anne dodged the purple projectile and ran off, laughing. “Mom, Virge and Pat are kissing again!”

“Leave them alone, Dear,” Emily half-scolded from across the hallway, though she was still smiling pleasantly. This was honestly the harshest she ever got with her daughters. She walked up to Virginia’s bedroom door and gave the two blushing teens a slightly apologetic smile. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” She teased, shutting the door.

“Mom!” Virge whined, before turning back to her girlfriend. “I’m sorry my sister’s such a brat.”

Patricia poked her shoulder teasingly. “Don’t be mean.”

Virge rolled her eyes, but pressed a reassuring kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead. “I’m not being mean; this is just what it’s like having a sister. Ask Regina or Rena, I’m sure they’d agree.”

Pat pouted a little at that. “I wish I had a sister. You’ve got Anne, and you’ll probably have Dee, too, soon.”

“You can bond with Logan about it, I guess,” Virginia shrugged.

The pigtailed girl gasped, her eyes brightening. “Logan can be my sister, then!” She pulled out her phone, careful not to mes sup her nail . “I’m gonna go tell her, right now.”  

CATS

Patricia

Logan!!!!!!

Logan!!!!!!!!!!

Logan!!!!

Logan!!!!!!

Logan!!!!!!!!!!

Lo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dee

I should’ve muted this chat.

Logan

Patricia, you now have my attention.

Patricia

Logan!

Your my sister now!!!!!!

Logan

*You’re.

Also, what?

We do not share any parental figures; how can we be sisters?

Regina

God ofc you use perfect grammar in texts ilysm

Logan

What do ‘ofc’ and ‘ilysm’ mean?

Rena

it means she wants to fusdjjkfhfjshfkldjfdkshfjdhfdjfhsdkhfksdlfhsdfh

Virginia

oops guess renas been murdered

Logan

What?

Dee

Ignore her

Regina probably just tackled her

Regina

ur right!!!!!!!!!!!

gina did take my phone!!!!!!!

but I took hers and now im locked in the bathroom!!!!!!!!

i can say whateva i like!!!!!!!

REGINA IS TYPING

Dee

Oh dear

REGINA HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM ‘CATS’

RENA HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM ‘CATS’

Virginia

using my admin powers for good

“Virge!” Patricia exclaimed, poking her girlfriend’s shoulder disapprovingly.

“What?” Virginia shrugged. “Do you want to hear everything Rena has to say about what Regina and Logan wanna do with each other?”

Pat wrinkled her nose uncomfortably. “Well, no... but it’s mean to remove them!”

“Fine,” Virge sighed. “But if Rena starts talking about sex, I’m going to remove her again.”

PATRICIA HAS ADDED REGINA TO ‘CATS’

PATRICIA HAS ADDED RENA TO ‘CATS’

Virginia

rena if you talk about anything inappropriate from either your phone or reginas im blocking both of you

Regina

I finally got my phone back!

And I agree

Pls don’t do that  

Rena

:(

what counts as inappropriate tho

Virginia

anything that would upset pat

Rena

boo!  

boring

“I’m going to fight her.”

“Honey, please don’t.”

Logan

Patricia, what was it you were trying to tell me at the start? Your statement about us being sisters was factually (and grammatically) incorrect.

Patricia

Were the only people on the chat without sisters!!!!! That means we should be sisters now so were not alone!!!!!

Logan

*We’re and *we’re.

And that does not make sense.

Besides, Dee doesn’t have any siblings, either.

Patricia

She and Virge are gonna be sisters soon right!!!!!!!

And youre my sister now sorry I dont make the rules!!!!!

Logan

*You’re and *don’t.

You were the one who made this chat. You do, literally, make the rules.

Virginia

(just go with it)

There was almost a minute of no texting, though everyone appeared to still be online, and Patricia shifted closed to her girlfriend in the interim, practically seating herself in the taller girl’s lap. Finally, Logan started typing again.

Logan

Fine.

Patricia

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m going to spam you with heart emojis now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Logan

Please, don’t.

Patricia

Okay I won’t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dee

I hate to interrupt

But my mom just got a message from Remy

Apparently, she and her parents are inviting us (and Mr Thomas) and any of our parents who know about the monster shit (her words not mine) to this fancy party at her place next Saturday . We need to dress kinda fancy, like dresses or fancy shirts and trousers, as it’s like tradition or something to hold these parties for each generation of chosen ones

Mom says she can tell any of your parents who don’t know the truth that you’re all at my house

But she also recommends you tell your parents whats actually going on

Virginia

ew party

Rena

ew telling dad the truth about the monsters

Logan

I didn’t think you were one to shy away from the truth, Rena. Wouldn’t it be easier to be honest with your father?

Rena

normally i wouldnt care

but if dad finds out about all this he could get all protective and shit and try to stop us from fighting monsters and all that other ‘dangerous’ stuff

Regina

Ugh, I can’t believe I acc agree with u

Patricia

Im still tryna figure out how to tell my moms!!!!!!!  

I might ask Miss Emily to help me but idk

Virginia

she would she loves u

Regina

Wait lol pat arent you at virges house rn why r u texting  

Patricia

Because I love all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RENA IS TYPING

Regina

Before you speak

Is it appropriate?

Rena

no

Virginia

then dont

Rena

):

Virginia

dee can u get ur mom to text my mom the details  

Logan

Mine, too, please.

Dee

Sure

Regina

Me and rena will have to ask dad later hes busy rehearsing lines rn

Rena

acc hes probs just txting the dude he went out with yesterday lmao

he wont tell us anything bout it and got kinda awkward when we asked bout the guy he went out with

so im assuming they fucked

Regina

I hate you so much

Stop saying that

Fight me

One day Im acc going to fight you and it is going to be brutal

Rena

i will win

Patricia

Hey now!!!!!!!

No fighting!!!!!!!!!!!!

“This won’t end well,” Virge said dryly, rolling her eyes.

Patricia hummed quietly in agreement, her brow creased. “I wish they wouldn’t argue so much, it makes me sad.”

Her girlfriend opened her mouth to respond, but she was cut off by the bedroom door opening again. They both turned and watched as Emily stepped inside, giving them a smile.

“Patricia, your moms are here.”

“Oh, okay!” Patricia pocketed her phone and wiggled out of her girlfriend’s lap, jumping up and stretching. She took a step in the direction of the door, before pausing. She glanced up at her girlfriend’s mom with a slightly sheepish look. “Um, do you think at some point you’d be able to help explain the chosen one stuff to my moms? I’d like to tell them, but I’m not sure they’d believe me straight away.”

Emily’s expression softened; she put her hand on Pat’s shoulder supportively. “Of course, dear. In fact, I’m having dinner with Harriet on Wednesday. Would you like me to tell her then?”

“Yes, please! That would be super helpful, thank you!” Patricia beamed. She then turned on her heel, back to her girlfriend, and leant forward to kiss her quickly. “Bye, Honey! I love you so much!”

“Love you, too, Pat,” Virge responded softly, a little embarrassed that her mom was there to witness this, but still smiling slightly.

[hugsfromdad]

Hey kids,

How is everyone?

It's been a long time since I've done a check-in post and I've recently been feeling a real need to reconnect with all of you on here.

TLDR: my life is really busy and crazy and theater hasn't been good for me but I'm surviving. I miss y'all sm and want to hear from you. Whether it's anon, message, comment, or reblog. I have next to no freetime rn, but i really want to reconnect and am gonna try my best to be present on here more.💗

My life update: I've been so enjoying not being on instagram and just focusing on myself, healing and growing, and the few real relationships I have outside of social media. However, it's been hard cause I realized just how few close friends i actually have and the desperate need I have for friends who live nearby me. My two current best friends live 3.5 hours away, and in Colorado... So not someone i can hit up to have supper with and get a hug from when im having a tough day. And ive been having quite a few of those recently.

Joining theater has been...an experience. My mum has helped me to realize that i joined this production with expectations of making new friends.... Those expectations, as low as i thought they were, were wrong. It's like being in a ridiculously intense class with kids who already all know each other. It's not a clique, and I'm not being excluded, but it's like trying to break into a world where i dont even speak their language, and I'm still deciding if i really even want to.

I've been spending 3-4 days a week, 3hrs+ (sometimes 10hrs) per day with these people, for now 2 months--and I still dont know more than 3ish facts about the majority of them. A couple of them i have been able to get closer to-- but only because I found a time outside of practice hours to get to know them.

This has been really difficult for me. A lot about this situation is triggering for me and bringing me back to my bad years when I knew and spent time with a lot of people, but felt really alone and had no friends... So, it gets kind of scary when im already having a bad day and i go to practice. I have to be really careful and intentional of staying on the road when I drive home because my suicidalness kicks back in real strong...yeah, it's that bad. But I'm being careful and open with my mum and therapist about this all.

On good days, I kind of maybe consider doing this again. But in actuality... I dont want to. I'm not really having fun and I don't want to put myself through this again. I dont have a passion for this and I would need some really good, close (location-wise and friendship-wise) friends in my life, and in theater, to be able to enjoy doing this again.

So yeah... That's THAT whole situation. I'm counting the days til it's over... 20. Closing night is on my birthday... Best present I could get. I really just want to have my life back from this. And i hate that I'm good at it and so the people there assume im having fun and gonna want to do this again.. And, worst of all assumptions; that im carefree and happy-- lol.

So thats pretty unfortunate, but I'm at least getting another really good learning experience, and I cannot tell yall how fucking proud of myself i am for doing this. This is a big deal and I threw myself in the deep end and it turns out im actually good at swimming--even if I dont like it.

When it comes to my personal life (what's that?) It boils down to: I need friends. I'm trying to find people close in location to me... But, because my soul is currently owned by the theater, I cant do much at all. I am trying tho.

I tried a few dating apps... Oof. Ew no. I hate dating apps and I hated every moment on there. Not finding people really and its pretty sucky, but my therapist keeps reminding me that it's not me, it's my difficult situations throughout life that's kept me from finding people to date. There was one person I matched with who I was talking to for a bit, but then they havent replied to me for 2 days now, so im hoping everything is okay, but I'm kinda used to being ghosted at this point. Ill finding someone tho. Its gotta happen.

I'm pursuing my transition more-- hopefully I'll be starting testosterone soon and I'm looking into surgeons now and saving my money with a mindset towards top surgery within a year... We'll see. But its super exciting. My theater director (who is really bipolar and freaks me out some, but seems to adore me) put a stubble beard on me with makeup yesterday cause I had mentioned wanting a beard once i got on testosterone. It nearly made me cry and I couldnt stop smiling. I wore it home and hated taking it off before bed. I really really want a beard and im so fucking close, it's giving me strength.

My music and writing and painting and all other things have come to a screeching halt since starting theater, but i have a ton of inspiration that's built up over the past couple months that I'm super excited to unleash it the moment I'm free of this commitment. Im already working on a musical about this whole experience joining theater that I think would be really good. And I really want to finish my books and get them out there. We shall see what happens.

I love you all so much and my heart constantly goes out to you all and all of your experiences and struggles. I want to be here with you and laugh and cry, morn and celebrate together. Hopefully more of the good, tho.

Please feel free to reach out to me, even though I haven't been active at all on here. Message/anon me about your life, or questions, updates, celebrations, jokes, good pickup lines for me to use on my best friend as soon as his cruise is over and I can spam him again (holy shit I miss him so much @jamesboii please come home soon). Or like just reach out and say hello-- it might take me a day to reply, but i will.

Love y'all so much, sorry for this long blurp about my life. But i just wanted to post something and try to reconnect.

What do y'all want to see me posting? Im down to try new things. ✌

Sending hugs and love,

💕-dad

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

"i know you can’t cook for shit so i’ve been bringing you dinner every night, just, y’know, to keep you alive" w/ hidge please i'd die and also draw you fanart of it

THIS WENT LONGER THAN I EXPECTED BUT IM HAPPY 

Here’s the fanart:

Her mother always said a girl had to learn to cook. Ofcourse, Pidge had insisted she had more important things to do, and she wasn’tpart of gender stereotypes anyway. Anyone could survive off of dinner invites,fast food, and microwave dinners.

Except she didn’t want to. When she’d been dating Hunk, he cookeddinner every night and made breakfast for them every Saturday. Her personalfavorite was his breakfast fried rice with Spam and breakfast sausages. Healways  let her sleep in and gave her acup of coffee when she woke up so she could join him to eat on the couch asthey continued whatever show they were binging.

They’d broken up on… somewhat amicable terms. She didn’thate him. And he didn’t hate her, at least she didn’t think so. She did have todrop off anything she had of his at the apartment he was rooming at with Lance.He still talked with Matt from time to time, but they worked together. Still,even Matt didn’t seem to be able to villainize Hunk.

It was a complicated breakup. They didn’t have time for eachother at all. Pidge was busy with school and work, exhausted by the time shegot home. That only made her cranky, and she’d nitpick at anything Hunk did ordidn’t do. She knew she was doing it, she just… couldn’t stop.

Then Hunk had met someone else through his cateringbusiness. He’d mentioned her as an offhand comment, a new acquaintance. ButPidge noticed he was on his phone more, that he didn’t bug Pidge to find morefree time anymore. Which on the one hand was good, but on the other… well notso much. She hadn’t gone crazy or anything. She didn’t check his messages orstalk his social media. But she noticed he was happier.

She asked him about it. And Hunk, who never lied to her, andswore he never would, told her the truth. There was nothing more than afriendship between himself and Shay. But he was ashamed to admit he had to becareful to keep it that way. That he’d nearly made mistakes in the times he metup with her. But he’d never acted on it.

Pidge had simply nodded, kissed his cheek, grabbed her keys.She claimed she was going to get a coffee to clear her head and energize herfor her studying. Which she did. But on the way back, she couldn’t stop thetears that had come out of nowhere and had to pullover. A cop had stopped forher, asking if she was okay. When Pidge explained she was just a littleemotional, the officer had offered to escort her home. Pidge thanked her anddrove home with a cop tailing her.

She’d gone into her home to find Hunk asleep on the couch,in the same spot she’d left him. She’d woken him up, tears threatening to spillall over again.

“This isn’t healthy,” she whispered. “I think… we need toend this.”

He’d protested, but Pidge made points out of their lack oftime, Hunk’s already wandering eyes, the fact that she knew she could beinsensitive when she was stressed. She didn’t want him to start hating her, andshe didn’t want to risk hating him. Not when she loved him so much.

And now, here she was, nearly a month without a singlehomecooked meal, attempting to make pancakes. It shouldn’t be this hard. Therewere instructions on the damn box, she was an engineer for crying out loud. Butshe couldn’t make a stupid fucking pancake.

She cursed as the smoke alarm went off again and stared atthe burnt piece of- God she couldn’t even call it a pancake- on the pan. Shesighed and decided if she and Hunk were supposed to be friends still, it wasokay to ask him to help her. Right? She needed food. Healthy food. Not KraftMac N’ Cheese or Stouffer’s one-person lasagna.

She bit her lip and grabbed her phone.

***

The consistent chiming of his phone was what woke Hunk up.He groaned and sat up, fumbling for his phone. He was a little confused whenthe phone showed “Katie” because he didn’t know a Katie. Except he did… he wasjust used to calling her Pidge. He unlocked his phone and scrolled up.

The last message had been about two weeks before when shelet him know she’d left a box of his things at the door. And he’d told her totake care.

Now there were more.

So uh, this is alittle weird… but I’m super hungry but…

There was a picture of something black and charred in a pan.

I KEEP BURNINGEVERYTHING!!!

Pls help me. I’mstarving & haven’t had a homecooked meal in weeks.

I just want somefucking pancakes.

Hunk laughed to himself, feeling something fond in his chest.He typed back, telling her he’d be there soon.

Thank. You. So much.

He smiled at his screen and shook his head as he got up toget dressed.

A half hour later, he was knocking on Pidge’s- Katie’s door,holding his breath. It would be the first time they see each other since theybroke up almost two months ago. The door opened and he saw Katie wearing anoversized yellow sweater and sweats, her hair pulled into a small ponytailwhile the smaller strands fell out messily. She looked embarrassed, and keptpushing her glasses up, only to pull them back down the bridge of her nose.

“Uh. Hey,” she greeted.

“Hey Pi- uh. Katie. Good morning. I was told my culinaryservices were needed.”

She grimaced and opened the door further. “You’ve beenwarned.”

Hunk laughed and walked in. “Come on, it can’t be that-Whoa.” He cleared his throat and took in the kitchen. There was a messeverywhere, and it smelled of burn… something. “You weren’t kidding when yousaid you burned everything.”

“Nope,” she answered. She looked over at him, her expressioncompletely blank. “Fire alarm went off. Twice.”

Hunk suppressed a smile, but failed because she nudged himand groaned. “Okay, well, first thing’s first,” he said, opening the fridge.“When’s the last time you went grocery shopping?”

Katie looked around as though the answer would be somewherein the kitchen. Hunk chuckled and grabbed his keys, nudging her gently towardthe door. “Oh this should be fun,” she grumbled.

***

Arriving at Wal-Mart felt… nostalgic. Hunk got a cart andPidge walked beside him, comforted by their height difference. While the carride had been comfortable because of horrible singing and laughter, being atthe store felt different. Pidge felt nervous.

“So how’ve you been?” she asked as they started for the backwhere the frozen things were.

“I’ve been okay. It’s holiday season, so everyone’s callingin for catering.” She nodded, recalling how busy he could get during theholidays. “I’m saving up to open a restaurant. They have an empty building nearthe optometrist you go to. So I’m trying to lease it.”

“No way,” she said with a smile. “Seriously? You can startthe restaurant there?”

“Well, I know a lot of chefs. Shouldn’t be hard to getwaiters and waitresses. I’m not missing much.”

“Hunk, that’s… really incredible, oh my God.”

Hunk smiled at her and raised an eyebrow. “You seem sohappy.”

“I’m happy for you! I know how long you’ve wanted to dothis, and it’s gonna come true for you!” Hunk held her gaze and smiledappreciatively. Pidge cleared her throat and chuckled as she saw a hat displayin the clothes section across from the food section. “Look!” She grabbed alarge sunhat with edges so wide they seemed to scream “Personal space please.”

“Oh boy,” he laughed, leaning against the cart.

“Put one on,” she said.

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Hunk!” He chuckled and looked at her. “Well,” she said,putting on a southern belle accent. “You’d never believe what I heard Susan sayduring Sunday’s mass.” Hunk hummed and raised an eyebrow. “She said hercasserole was better than mine!”

“Don’t blame her none, Miss Katie, you probably burned yours.”

Pidge’s jaw dropped, and she swatted at his arm as shelaughed. “I mean you’re not wrong,” she said in a normal voice. “I love thesehats. They’re so ridiculous.” She put the hat back and gestured to a different aisle.“I’m done with frozen. I can’t have another Marie Callendar’s pot pie.”

“Okay, well, what do you want to eat?”

She sighed and shrugged. “It’s hard to want to make stuffwhen it’s just me, you know? Right now I just really want pancakes and hotchocolate. And like, I know the hot chocolate is just hot milk and the packet,but it still doesn’t taste like you make it.” She looked away and busied herselfwith boxes of cake and cookie mixes set out for Christmas celebrations.

A few seconds later, Hunk said, “Okay. So today we make chocolatechip pancakes from scratch. When you want to make something else, I can helpyou out again.” Pidge looked back at him, dubious. “Come on, Katie,” he said witha smile. “Get into the cart.”

“In the cart?” he nodded and she clambered in, cross legged.Without warning, Hunk began racing between the aisles, making Pidge gasp andlaugh nervously. “Whoa-whoa! Oh my gosh!” she laughed and held onto the sides,wincing as they narrowly missed a few displays. “Hunk, you’re going too fast!”

He came to an abrupt stop and she held herself in place,laughing breathlessly as she looked up at him. “That was never a problembefore.”

Pidge’s eyebrows went up, her cheeks reddening. She turnedand kept her eyes on him refusing to back down. “I’m hungry. Now is not the timefor sexual innuendos.” She sat and pointed. “To the chocolate!”

Somehow, the search of a few simple ingredients took themnearly two hours, and Pidge had forgotten she was hungry in the first place. Bythe time they got back to her place, it was past noon. But she still wantedpancakes.

Hunk began listing the different measurements andtechniques, but Pidge was just enjoying herself by watching the way he mixed.It was quick like he was barely even thinking about what he was doing. Heworked quickly with no mess. Pidge envied it.

He began to pour the batter into a pan, spatula in hand andPidge sat herself on the counter beside the stove. She was in charge of passingthe bowl of batter to him. She bit her lip and rested her head on the cabinetsbehind her.

“So…. Shay’s cool with you doing this?”

“Sh-Shay?” he questioned, looking over at her.

She smiled and shrugged, looking away. “Uh, Lance told meyou guys started dating.” Hunk pursed his lips and looked down at the pan. “It’scool. Just… don’t want to cause any problems.”

“Things with her didn’t… work out.”

“Oh?” Hunk chuckled and shrugged, placing a couple ofpancakes on a plate. He gestured for more batter, but Pidge didn’t notice. “Why?Did something happen?”

“Does it matter?” he asked, gesturing again.

She shrugged and swung her legs. “I’m just wondering. If we’refriends, we can talk about this stuff, right?”

Hunk sighed and stood in front of her, hands on either sideof her on the counter. “You’re supposed to be learning. Not gossiping.”

It was one of those rare moments when she was at eye-levelwith him. “Oops,” she breathed. Hunk smiled slightly and Pidge bit her lip. Sheprobably seemed nosy.

“She’s not you,” he whispered. Pidge looked at him in shock.

“But… you said-”

“I know what Isaid, Pidge.” She took a sharp breath at the sound of him using her nickname again.“But just because she was pretty…. That’s not enough. She was nice and funny,but a lot of girls are. But you’re…. You’re so insanely smart, and beautiful anddetermined and strong and…. No one comes close you. No one ever will. You were morethan just my girlfriend. You were my best friend.”

Pidge let out a shaky breath and gulped. She leaned forward,her arms over his shoulders and very slowly tilted her head. Hunk shut his eyesand leaned forward to meet her lips. It didn’t last as soft and innocent.

They’d been without each other too long. Starving for eachother. Pidge was shaking with how badly she’d been craving him. To hold him, tolean against him, to feel his warmth, his lips. Hunk’s arms wrapped around hermiddle, holding her tightly.

She only pulled away when she needed to breathe, forehead pressedagainst his. “I never should’ve let you go,” she choked past the knot in herthroat.

“And I never should’ve left.”

[stigma-dream]

1 | Try me [ College! AU ]

Pairing : BTS X Reader

Word Count : 6,802

Summary : Remember how in your teen years you use to fantasize how good it must feel being surrounded by the local bad boys, all trying to impress you one way or another trying to gain your attention? Well, this isn’t what you had in mind, nor would you had imagined that it would’ve started with a stupid alcohol-influenced bet.  

Wednesday 11:41 p.m

“Must I really go…?

Not even a week in into the second semester and they were already planning to throw a party by the weekend. “Yes, of course you have to be there! It wouldn’t be the same without you. If I didn’t have my best girl, it’ll be like Batman without Robin!” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, already being able to see the large toothy grinned he has always flashed.

“Hobi, that was a fail attempt at trying to butter me up you know? Plus we both know that’s not why you want me to go. You just want me to bring your drunk ass home while I won’t be able to take a single sip of alcohol. Why would I voluntarily torture myself like that?” A soft groan left pass your lips as you leaned back into the softness of your living room couch. Kicking both legs up at the already collapsing mess of a coffee table you and your roommate shared.

“C’mon (Y/N), trust me when I say It’ll be fun. Hell - I’ll even try to convince the boys at making the party a bit more… small, so there won’t be much of a mess, alright?” Raising a brow questioningly as if he were there, you reached over for the remote controller and flipped through the channels until you could find something you could settle down to watch for the mean time. “How would my existence being present at such a place  benefit me, hm?“ You heard a loud smack soon followed by a groan as Hobi began to speak again. “It’ll make all seven of us happy, you know you love us too~.” You could practically see the smirk spread against his lips. “Oh dear god no - forget about it. Not leaving my cocoon to interact with other humans.”

You tilted your head to the side, eying the blanket folded neatly on the opposite arm rest. Leaning yourself across the couch only for your fingertips to slightly caress the fabric. “I did not just slap myself once for nothing (Y/N), you’re coming to the party and that’s that.” Before you could deny the offer again, you heard a mumble on the other end of the line before it cut off.

“More like a get together now..”

Frowning at the words he had slipped out, you groaned loudly and threw the phone onto the coffee table, flipping face up at the laying spot you had found yourself in. Complete forgetting about the blanket now. Staring up at the ceiling as the TV made background noise, not letting the death silence of the apartment overcome you with solitude. “Why is he insisting so much…” You mumbled, reaching up to your hair and moving some loose strands away from your field of vision. It didn’t take much that you got lost in your thoughts and sleep had taken it’s toll on you - your eyelids getting heavier by the second as you laid there on the couch and not too long after you found yourself slowly easing into a nice slumber.

Friday 2:38 p.m

Horse babe : hey hey (y/n)

Horse babe : do you already have your outfit ready?

Horse babe : well don’t wear whatever you were gonna bring

Horse babe : we decided to move the party next month as it seemed more appropriate

Horse babe : actually scratch that

Horse babe : everyone spread the rumor so fast that they prohibited us from throwing a party until next month lmao

Horse babe : but you still have to come over tomorrow, just bring something more laid back as it’ll just be the boys and I

“Who the fuck is spamming me” you muttered under your breath, reaching into your backpack that laid in the chair beside you and pulling out your cellphone. The vibration only continued in your hand as you got another harsh shush from the librarian at the front desk. Smiling at her apologetically and bowing your head slightly, you immediately unlocked your phone and put it in silent mode. Seeing the various notifications from Hoseok. Scanning the messages, a giggle past your lips at the thought of the news spreading like wildfire among the student body of the upcoming party. Only to get immediately shut down.

(Y/N) : omg hobi rlly?

(Y/N) : that must’ve suck

(Y/N) : but why must I still go? It’s not like we haven’t seen each other in years

Locking the screen and placing your phone beside you, you looked back up at your surroundings. Luckily, the library was the closest you’ve ever seen it to being empty. There was always half of the room filled with various students trying to cram a full semester worth of information into their heads all at once. In other cases, couples spread around the library goofing around and being all lovey dovey with each other. Groups of friends just storming in and messing around knowing the librarians just didn’t have the energy to even scoul them anymore. This time it was only you and a small group of students at the corner across the room - seeming to be trying to hide away from the eye of anyone. A red flickering light caught your attention and made you glance back down only to see Hoseok has replied.  

Horse babe : lmao ikr like y

Horse babe : and because (y/n) ~

Horse babe : we miss you!  

Eying the text suspiciously, you brought your bottom lip between your teeth unconsciously, beginning to slowly chew at it as you typed away a reply.

(Y/N) : oh wow yea sure

(Y/N) : what’s up with this sudden burst of love y'all have for me?

(Y/N) I swear if it is some sort of prank or joke y'all want to play on me I’ll rip all of your heads off and feed them to Ms. Scott’s snake.

Horse babe : omg stop no

Horse babe : we honestly have nothing better to do this weekend and we managed to find 8 nerf guns in the janitor room

Horse babe : don’t ask why we were there

Horse babe : but even more conveniently, four are one color and the other four another color

(Y/N) : so basically two teams?

Horse babe : bingo

Humming softly you brought your elbow up at the table and rested your head against your palm, debating if you should go or not. If you were absolutely free, you would have immediately agreed to meeting up with them already. But you have already planned on catching up on a series you took a small break from and cleaning around the apartment. Since your roommate is almost never home (due to her spending most of her time with her boyfriend) - you have had the whole place to yourself. Leaving clothes scattered everywhere, having unwashed dishes at the sink from probably weeks old now, and being able to roam around the apartment in nothing but your underwear freely. Though at first it felt like a small heaven having all this freedom to yourself - the dirtiness of the place was finally starting to gross you out.

(Y/N) : under one condition

Horse babe : which is?

(Y/N) : you all have to help me clean up my apartment and binge watch AHS with me

(Y/N) :  beginning from end.

(Y/N) :  all of you - and no dozing off during the middle or chickening out that it’s too creepy for you.

Horse babe : …

Horse babe : How am I friends with you again?

(Y/N) : Your lost ass was roaming around the halls whining for someone to help you get to class the first day

(Y/N) : and as if a cruel punishment you chose me as your victim and we somehow had first period together

(Y/N) : and from then on you clinged onto me for everything

Horse babe : YAH! (Y/N)! That’s no way to talk to your hyung!

Horse babe : plus you make it sound so uncool…

Horse babe : doesn’t matter, now you know how cool I truly am ;)

(Y/N) : lmao you? cool? you’re funny buddy

Horse babe : mk gb

(Y/N) : no bb wait im joking

(Y/N) : you’re so cool you broke the coolness-o-meter

Horse babe : …hell yeh I did

Horse babe : i’m so cool i probably threw yoongi down from his swag throne

(Y/N) : okay that’s enough of that

(Y/N) : so do you agree to coming or nah?

Horse babe : yea sure

(Y/N) : okay goodie well ttyl gotta blast

Horse babe : lmao ight

Gathering your stuff you had spread around the table, you quickly rushed out of the library - you were done for the day anyways so you’re absolutely free to go to your apartment. Walking down to the parking lot to find your car - you were a bit too late to claim a dorm at campus, so you had no other choice but to rent an apartment nearby.

To your surprise you found Taehyung and Jimin leaning against your car seeming deep in conversation within themselves. A small smirk creep onto your lips as you decided to scare the two - having have been leaning against your precious baby you had just clean yesterday. Taking much lighter steps and focusing on your breathing, you strode over to the backside of the automobile, peeking your head only to see that they haven’t noticed your presence

“Why do you think she doesn’t wanna join us tomorrow?” Jimins voice was the first to reach your ears, perking up more, now curious about their conversation. At this angle you could perfectly see how the sunlight hit his vermilion hair, giving an appearance of a soft gold gentle aura around him. His sharp jawline facing you as he tilted his head towards Taehyung, his back leaning against your precious baby as you noticed he raised a leg to press against it - eyes darting to the ground as he began to scratch the back of his neck, seeming to go deep in thought. Seconds later to think his own question further, you noticed how his eyebrows furrow up ever so slightly, a small pout forming on his devilishly full plump lips. “You don’t think…she has started to avoid us, do you?”

Being to caught up in your own thoughts about how he even dared to raise his dirty shoe against the car door, you almost missed what he had said. Your own eyebrows scrunching up, why would he even asked that? There’s nothing that they’ve done to make you dislike them…much less avoid. “ I don’t see a reason to.” Taehyung shrugged, pulling at the sleeves of his rather large jumper and crossing his arms in front of him, mindlessly playing with a loose strand of his black ripped jeans. “Knowing her, she’s probably already stressing about studying or something…” the brunette mumbled, turning to face the shorter male. Jimin cocked an eyebrow at Taehyung but shrugged, nodding as a sigh escaped his lips. “You’re probably right. She always overworks herself too much…it’s not healthy. She should just, i don’t know… lay back and enjoy the moment you know?” Taehyung nodded, chuckling softly as a small grin formed on his features “Like us?”. Jimin looked questioningly at him, taking him a second to understand what he meant. Shaking his head with a mocking laugh he punched Tae’s shoulder teasingly. “Of course not! Could you imagine though? She’ll probably have an heart attack seeing her grades drop and attendance start to stagger it’s perfect record.”

Short laughs were exchanged between the two, not before you pulled out your car keys and sounded the alarm. Watching as both men jumped away startled from the vehicle, both their eyes blown wide like deers caught in the headlight. Noticing how Jimin was clutching at his denim jacket tightly, chest heaving trying to catch his breath seeming to have been knocked out of his lungs. Flashing a mischievous grin at the boys as you arose from your hiding spot. “ I beg to differ, you seem to be the one who’s going to get a heart attack, pretty boy.”

Heads snapped toward your direction as Jimin’s chocolate brown orbs seem to have widen even more, sighing deeply and throwing his head back as he raised a hand to comb his bangs in a nervous manner. “ I swear to god (Y/N) I will get you back for this.”

Smiling even wider now, you turn to look at Taehyung only to see him kneeled down holding his stomach, his hand trying to muffle his laughs. Not helping yourself now you began to laugh yourself, raising hand in the same manner as Tae to cover your fit of giggles. Hearing your laugh was the final straw for Taehyung to let his rich laugh bang against your eardrums, his balance failing him as he fell back clutching his sides. “ o-oh my god! You should have seen your expression! It was absolutely priceless! I couldn’t imagine his eyes going wider, they almost popped out!”

Jimin clicked his tongue as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, snapping his head towards the younger one. “Yah! Quiet!” Jimin roared, his cheeks flushing as he kicked Taehyung, only kicking the air threateningly. Taehyung rolled over his side and arose from the floor, throwing his arm over Jimins shoulder as he chuckled softly.

“Aish, don’t get all pissy now~ we’re just joking around, right (Y/N)?” Tae turned to you, flashing you a cocky wink as a smirk played along his rose lips. You only shook your head, giggling softly as you walked over to the boys. Filling up Jimins other shoulder with your arm now - but due to your shorter height you only managed to bring down both boys. “Yeh, just horsing around buddy old pal.” Making eye contact with Tae, you both grinned widely, turning back to Jimin who was only frowning, his eyebrows scrunching up as his brown orbs pierced at the both of you disapprovingly.”You will be hearing from my lawyer soon, this is harassment I have the right to sue you.”

Rolling your eyes at the vermilion haired boy, you stepped back, Taehyung taking your spot and wrapping his arms around Jimin, resting his head on his shoulder as he began to hum softly. Jimin shook his head he pushed away and fixed his shirt - tucking the striped fabric back into his jeans as he scoffed. “Whatever. Hobi sent us to warn you if you don’t come tomorrow he’ll expose your double chin pictures”. You raised a brow at him, sighing softly as you pulled out your phone - showing him the text you had exchanged with Hoseok earlier. Watching him as he read the text, Taehyung peering over his shoulder and doing the same. Jimin’s lips then formed a small ‘o’, looking back up to meet your gaze. “Why do we have to help you clean? I didn’t sign up for this” Taehyung nodded agreeing with the male. Only seconds later he pulled Jimin back to whisper something in his ear - a mischievous smile forming on both of their faces. “I take it back, we’ll help you clean.”

Friday 8:30 p.m

The second you had arrived to your apartment, you had collapsed onto the sofa and passed out. Ignoring any plans you had later that day. A annoying vibration and light flashing had startled you awake from your peaceful slumber. Groaning as you opened your heavy eyelids, flinching at the bright light hitting your dazed vision. Reaching out to your phone laying in front of you, sliding the button across the screen not even bothering to see who it was. Throwing your head back into the warmth of the sofa - refusing to look at the screen.

“Ah! I won! She was asleep!”

“Jungkook stop shouting!”

A smack could be heard soon followed by a whine, peering your eyelids open again you noticed that Jungkook had called you over FaceTime, seeing him sit at the familiar sofa of their dorm - Jin sitting on the armrest laying across the top of the sofa trying to show up on screen.

“But hyung you told me if I won this bet you’ll do the dishes tonight!” Jungkook turned to Seokjin, his doe eyes seeming to play with Seokjins emotions as you heard the elders breath hitch - sighing and shaking his head.

“Aish you and your puppy eyes…”

Jungkook smiled mischievously, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.

Puffing out your cheeks at the scene playing out, you hummed softly and that seem to have caught the boy’s attention. “May I know why you woke me up?” you mumbled out, rolling off the sofa. Reaching out to position your phone to lay against a pillow, hoping you’ll look somewhat decent at this angle. Your eyes flicking over at the right corner of the screen, seeing your bird nest of hair. Sitting on the floor across your cellphone you began to run your fingers through your hair, smoothing out some knots.

“He didn’t want to wash the dishes so he made this dumb bet that if you were asleep i’ll have to wash them. Now, if you both will excuse me, since I am not a whiny baby about having responsibilities I shall go do my part of the bet.” Seokjin arose from his spot in the couch, walking off to what you assumed the kitchen. Now being alone with Jungkook, you raised a brow questioningly at him. “Really?” Jungkook chuckled nervously, shrugging as his hand went to rub his arm. “I usually don’t mind washing them, it’s just…Yoongi hyung didn’t like something Taehyung and I hid in his food…causing him to, y’know.” He let a sheepish smile spread across his lips, glancing at you before he turned to look at something else suddenly more interesting. Clicking your tongue you shook your head, sitting up more now as you began to stretch, a long yawn soon following. “Well that’s none of my business. Anyways since you’re already here help me choose an outfit for tomorrow.”

“What, why?” he questioned, seeing the screen going all blurry as you walked across the apartment going to your bedroom. “Just because, no real reason” you replied, setting your phone against your mirror. “…considering we’re just gonna horse around tomorrow I recommend something you’ll be able to move around freely. Oh! And possibly something you can sleep in? Yoongi-hyung is bringing beer, saying you should relax tomorrow.” He flashed you another smile, the creases around his eyes deepening adorably. “Like for example what i’m wearing right now.” Jungkook pulled at his white shirt, bringing his leg up and holding against his chest smoothly to reveal his sweatpants. Frowning at him you rolled your eyes, pointing at the camera “Stop that, I know you’re showing off how flexible you are…blah”  Frowning further hearing him go into a fit of laughs, shaking his head. “Sorry - can’t help that i’ve been blessed”.

Saturday 10:00 a.m

After having have chosen your outfit for today with the help of Jungkook last night, you both didn’t notice how late it had gotten. Immediately entering the realm of fantasies soon after hanging up the call. Now you sat at the corner of your bed, turning off your alarm. Sighing tiredly you began to get ready, going to go take a quick shower soon after having breakfast and before you knew it, you were already out the door heading towards campus to the boys dorm.

Walking up to the large wooden door, you removed your earbuds and twisted the knob - knowing the boys didn’t bother to lock the door knowing you’ll come. Stepping inside you were greeted by the sight of seeing a shirtless Yoongi with nothing else but his boxers and socks, laying on the couch fast asleep. Sighing you walked over to him, kneeling to his side. There really was a huge difference to awake Yoongi and fast asleep Yoongi. His usually scornful expression added unnecessary wrinkles to his youthful face. His rose tinted lips parted slightly seeming so natural unlike their usual straight line. A soft aura surrounding him - contrary to the cold and intimidating one he usually gave to strangers. You knew Yoongi long enough to know he was neither this or that. Yes, he seemed cold at first glance and his sarcasm can cause holes in your self-esteem but he isn’t always like that. It’s almost like a trial - if you overcome and endure Yoongi’s ruthless personality he’ll take off his cunning mask and show you his genuine self. If you really think about it, it’s like a defense mechanism. You haven’t yet shattered that metaphorical mask but you have noticed he seem more laid back then from the first few times meeting him. That alone seeing him slowly become more open towards you gave you the determination to fully get rid of his mask. Smiling to yourself, you didn’t take note to when you subconsciously moved his raven hair out of his face. Immediately retracted your hand, feeling your cheeks burn up in embarrassment. Glancing the living room you spotted a large blanket and brought it over to let it drape over Yoongi’s semi-nude state. Walking over to the kitchen to grab a cup of water, you heard yawning and groaning coming from the end of the corridor. Raising an eyebrow honestly not expecting anyone to be awake after seeing Yoongi on the couch, you made your over to the tall white door. Knocking gently you soon heard a raspy “come in“, swinging the door open.

Namjoon sat on the edge of his bed, massaging his throat while his free hand holded a couple of pills. Since the room was divided in half, he had his bed up against the wall. A nightstand along with a desk and a large shared bookshelf only for the same set up to be replicated on the other side of the room - connecting all furniture with the large bookshelf. A green rug spread across the middle of the room, bean bag chairs spread out across the rug. Though only the furniture and rug was the thing both had in common - for as decoration they were quiet opposites. Namjoon’s side consisted of a repeated plushie in different colors and poses, neatly aligned on shelf’s he must have put up himself. All of his textbooks and supplies nicely put in their own little containers. While the other side had many figurines, mostly consisted of Mario and Luigi. Posters of said characters adorning the pale white walls. The side of their bookcase, unlike Namjoon, consisted of Wii and 3DS games - along with a few smaller figurines. A few cookbooks and random personal choice novels on the next shelf. While finally the last shelf holded the precious campus textbooks.

Jin’s rather loud snore snapped you out of your own thoughts, blinking and bringing your attention back at the blonde haired man. “What’s wrong?” you questioned, walking over and sitting beside him. “The boys managed to bring a karaoke machine not to long ago and they decided last night-” Hearing him struggle to speak along with the heavy raspiness, you brought a finger to press against his lips you shook your head and glanced into his almond orbs, “don’t talk too much, it’ll hurt your throat even more”. Taken aback a bit, he slowly nodded and cleared his throat, wincing a bit. “I joined them in a screamo song and I seem to be loosing l my voice or something.”

“….why did you join in- actually, never mind.” You sighed, shaking your head. “Just rest today, though I already imagined you were planning on skipping, hm?” Smiling sheepishly he nodded slowly and laid back down, pulling the covers over himself. Turning off the lamp on the night stand, he reached out and gently grabbed your wrist.

“Hey, Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok are all at their classes right now. None of us are planning to wake up until noon or even later, so why not rest along with me? I swear I won’t try anything funny.”

“are you sure..? I mean, your throat and all I imagine you’ll be tossing and turning in your bed so..” Blinking in realization knowing of his messy way of sleeping with any type of uncomfortableness, he nodded slowly and motioned his head over to Jin. “Touche, how about Jin-hyung then?” Turning your head to the oldest one in the room, you nodded and gave Namjoon a smile. Reaching out and pinching his nose as you made your way over to Jin’s side of the room.

“Alright, get some rest now.”

4:42 p.m

All the boys seemed to have gotten home before you had waken up, finding yourself neatly tucked in Jin’s bed. The roaring of laughter and stomping across the dorm was the thing that had managed to wake you up. Sitting up slowly, you rubbed at your eyes and glanced around your surroundings. Namjoon seem to have already gotten up and Jin was gone too. “How rude, they didn’t even bother to wake me up…” mumbling to yourself, you quickly got out of bed and down to the cold floor. Hissing softly, you spotted Jin’s bunny slippers one of the members had gotten him as a gag gift and immediately rush to slip them on. Wiggling your toes in the warm fabric, you headed towards the door and down the corridor where the noise was coming from. Peaking your head only to see all seven men sitting at the couch and floor, seeming to be playing some sort of video game.

Hoseok was the first to notice you, jumping out of his seat and skipping his way towards you. “(Y/N)! Everyone, sleeping beauty has awoken!”

He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and brought you in for a short hug, kissing the top of you head as well. Giggling at his boldness, you wrapped your arms around his waist, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “Yeah, yeah whatever. Happy to see me here? I couldn’t risk the chance of you showing everyone my true nature.” Chuckling he only shrugged and glances up behind you, retracting his arms and stepping back.

“He’s not the only one happy to see you, y'know?” A smooth velvety voice reached your ears and you didn’t even need to look twice to know who it was. Feeling him snake his arms around your waist and lift you up, you squeaked softly and gripped onto his firm arms. “Taehyung!” You laughed, throwing your head back onto his shoulder as he began to swing the both of you around. A fit of giggles and laughed erupted from you two only to be stopped.

“Ah c’mon, you always want her to yourself Taehyung-hyung.” Being set down, you glance up only to be meet with a white shirt, tilting your head further up you saw how Jungkook pressed his tongue into the inside of his cheek, crossing his arms across his chest in a spoiled manner.

“Aish, sorry sorry, we haven’t talk in a while. I only saw her briefly yesterday ~” Taehyung cooed, resting his chin on top of your head and tightening his grip on your waist. Jungkook scoffed “and? I haven’t seen her in over a week.” Frowning, you pushed Taehyung’s arms off of you only to feel another set of strong arms slide under your legs and another to support your back, being lift up by the younger one. A proud smirk appearing on his fine lips as he held you against his chest. “Guys. You’re acting as if I’m some priced possession or something.” you groaned out, knowing your physical strength was nothing compared to theirs. Letting yourself loose and to lay limbless in Jungkook’s arms.

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“Pretty much, yeah”

Scrunching your eyebrows up, you sighed loudly again and only shook your head.

“Stop.”

Yoongi’s voice made the three of you snap your heads towards his direction. Seeing him sitting at the end of the couch, arm propped up against the armrest as he rested his head on the palm of his hand - his eyes staring back blankly. “Set the poor girl down, you both are all up in her personal bubble.” he mumbled, turning his attention back to the large screen. Jungkook immediately sets you down mumbling an apology - only to hear Jimin cry out in defeat as his character seemed to have lost. Jungkook striding over to take up the losers spot and go up against his hyung, Hoseok.

“(Y/N)” Jin called out, motioning you over to the spot between him and Namjoon. Squeezing yourselfs between them, you smiled sweetly at both. Jin sighed and shook his head, chuckling softly as he gently rubbed your back. “I must say, you really managed to stir those three over there up pretty good. I don’t know if it’s because of their ego not letting them cry defeat at losing a damsel to another or because of pure spoiledness, but damn.” Raising a brow at him questioningly, you tilted your head. “Three of them?” you questioned, only to receive another nod from the man. “Yeah, Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin. I’m surprised Jungkook is even managing talking to you way more comfortably than Jimin, probably because he’s older than you?”

“Wait, I’m sorry, Jimin?” you asked, Jin chuckling once again and nodding towards Jimin’s direction, your gaze following and sure enough Jimin sat across, squeezed between Yoongi and Taehyung but his gaze seem to be focused on you. Making brief eye contact he sheepishly looked down, raising his hand to comb out his bangs as he lets them drape across his features, seeming to be trying to hide away from your gaze. Though at his failed attempt of hiding his face - you could see pink beginning to tint at the tips of his ears. Biting your lip trying to stop yourself from smiling at his adorable ways, you turned back to Jin only to see him gone and being replaced by Hoseok.

“They’re not the only ones” Namjoon’s hot breath reached your neck, making you shiver feeling goosebumps starting to form. Jumping slightly in surprise, you didn’t even dare to turn your head to look at him - keeping your gaze locked on the screen. “Oh? How so?”

Feeling his chest vibrate against your back as he chuckled, leaning in closer - his hair starting to tickle at your skin. “Well, you already know about the three younger ones, but what about the three eldest? Jin-hyung, Yoongi-hyung and Hoseok. Though they are much better at hiding it, I’ve known them long enough too to know when there’s something going on.” he stated. “Someone’s got their voice back,” you joked, pulling back a bit to turn to look at him questioningly. “but - what do you mean? I’m sure they’re not attracted to me in any other way than platonically so-”

“There you are right, I believe the same. But knowing them, it didn’t just come out of nowhere. There’s something going on between them all.” Namjoon pulled back now, resting against the couch. You looked at Namjoon still, various thoughts running through your head as a certain male called out your name.

“(Y/N)!” Jungkook called out, motioning you over to the empty seat beside me. “Try and beat me in this round!”

Much later that afternoon everyone has gathered around in the living room - all eight sitting in a circle facing each other. Panting and heaving filled up the room, the smell of sweat and alcohol being the only aroma present. Having have already played with the nerf guns as promised, Yoongi bringing out the beer and Taehyung soon after pulling the karaoke machine out you swear your body couldn’t take any other physical activity to do. Having had screamed your lungs out while singing a duet with Jungkook and running around the whole dorm trying to escape Hoseok’s and Jimin’s nerf hits - all while having alcohol running through your system.  

“Guys, Guys, Guys” Taehyung spoke into the mic, licking his lips as he took a deep breath, his eyes fluttering trying to stay awake as the alcohol threatened to play effect - pausing before speaking again. “Let’s play some more. Spin the bottle anyone?” Hoseok was the first to react, nodding ecstatically. “Yeah! Here,” he gripped the bottle beside him and took a swing at it, gulping down the remainder of the liquid. Sighing contently as he lays the bottle in the middle of the circle. Everyone wiggled in closer, Jimin the first to reach out for the bottle. Spinning it only for it to go flying over to Jungkook, making both males laugh.

“Nice one Jimin-hyung,” Jungkook cooed, glancing down at the bottle and pointing over at Jin “but it looks like Jin-hyung is our first victim.” Jin perked up, hearing his name bringing him out of his train of thoughts. Jimin grinned widely, deep creases appearing under his eyes. “ Truth or Dare?” Jin hummed in thought, rotating the bottle in his hand, observing as the liquid splash around. “Truth”

Audible sighs and groans could be heard, shaking your head at the groups immature behavior. “Guys, come on now”

“Alright, let’s see hmm…did you use cheats to win earlier?” Jimin questioned, raising a brow at the elder one.

“Yeah! That was totally unfair how you won!” Hoseok cried out, Namjoon nodding agreeing with him.

Jungkook snorts and shrugged, looking over at Hoseok. “But I was able to beat his ‘impossible ways’ “. adding air quotes to his statement. “But you’re also Mr. Good at Everything I do.” Yoongi spoke up, taking a swing from his beer. Before Jungkook could respond, Jin spoke up. “No, I didn’t cheat - just many years of training.” Everyone seem to just drop the topic and nod, Jin reaching out for the bottle and spinning it. Yoongi chuckled softly as the bottle landed on him, looking at Jin. “Dare.” he said, Taehyung’s cackling could be heard. A few other guys chuckling softly to themselves. “Chug down two beers in a minute or less, take even a second longer and we all would take a turn at slapping you across the face.”

It went out like this for a while - asking dumb questions and making idiotic dares. For example when Taehyung dared Jungkook to jump from the top floor only to land in a bucket. Of course the rest of the guys had to stop Jungkook from actually doing it claiming that if he didn’t it’ll hurt his pride - all while Taehyung was busy filling a bucket up with water. Or when Namjoon had to rip apart one of his plushies being dared from Yoongi. Being left close to tears and clutching at his ‘son’. Hoseok had to come clean that he was absolutely terrified of any bondage play. Jimin giving Jungkook a lap dance that only ended up in a playful fight.

“Ah! It landed on you Yoongi!” Hoseok exclaimed, clapping as he saw how hard Yoongi was trying to remain conscious, his head keep bouncing as he went into short naps. Snapping up hearing  Hoseok and nodding, waving his hand as he ruffled his hair in a form of distraction. “Yeah, yeah. Dare.”

Namjoon pulled Jin over, whispering something into his ear as Jin nodded, crawling over to Hoseok and whispering it into his ear. A large smile spread across his features, nodding quickly and clapping once again to gain everyone’s attention. “Yoongi! I dare you to kiss (Y/N)!”

Choking on a sip you were taking from your beverage you turned to Hoseok wide-eyed. “I’m sorry what?” Hoseok only winked at you, nodding over to Yoongi’s direction only to see him already crawling over to you. “Don’t I have any say in this?” you questioned and before you know it Yoongi tugged at your wrist - making you turn your head in his direction. “No.” Acting fast he cupped your face in his hands - though his touch was cold you could feel how gently he was trying to be, his skin smooth and soft. His eyes narrowed as he observed your features, unconsciously licking his lips as he slowly began to lean in. “I’m sorry” he mumbled softly, the kiss fast and chaste. It only lasted a few second to the others, but to you, it lasted minutes. Not because of how amazing the kiss was or because how you felt sparks, but because you could feel how hard Yoongi tried to shove his tongue down your throat. Plus, he reeked of alcohol - being the one who had drank the most.

Pulling apart from each other you could help but scrunch up your nose in disgust, rubbing your mouth with the sleeve of your hoodie. Taehyung took notice and raised a brow, pointing a finger up at Yoongi who hasn’t moved from his spot. “His kisses suck don’t they.” he claimed, gaining everyone’s attention. You shook your head immediately as a blush started to tint your cheeks “no it’s not that”

Jungkook pulled at your wrist forcefully causing you to tumble over into his lap, his free hand moving to tilt your chin up “I’ll show you what a real kiss is~” he cooed, his lips dangerously close to yours. Before you had time to even react, you were being pulled again only to fall into another lap. Strong arms wrapping themselves around you protectively. “No!” Jimin whined, the alcohol playing with him. Jimin nuzzles down into your shoulder and breathed in your scent, giggling happily to himself as he held you close. “Mine.” He said, kissing at your neck lovingly.

“Woah, woah! Calm down there!” Jin shouted, pulling you out of Jimins grip and setting you beside him. “We do not treat a lady like that! As if she’s an object you could easily claim, hah. Right Hoseok?” Jin turned to Hoseok, receiving his approving nod only to nod himself as well. “That’s what I thought, now -”

“But what if she wants to be claimed?” Taehyung chirped up, tilting his head innocently.

Jin narrowed his eyes at the brunette and raised an eyebrow “what do you mean?”

“I meant what I said - what if she wants to be claimed by one of us? The one who can win her heart the first. Whoever she falls for has the right to completly claim (Y/N) as their own.” He stated, the attention of the rest of the boys turning to Taehyung.

“Wait then, like a bet?” Questioned Jimin

“What if no one can swoon her?” Added Hoseok, perking up curiously.

“Yeah like a bet. We all have a month to see who can win her over and if we can’t.” He paused to think for a moment. “Then, she has the choice to completely forget about us and leave or stay. But, if you’re asking me, knowing how dirty some of you play she’ll want to leave.”

“I’m in.” Jungkook spoke, scooting over to Taehyung’s side.

“Me too.” Hoseok spoke, joining the other two across from him.

Yoongi only silently crawled over, sitting beside Hoseok and nodding at Taehyung.

Jimin only leaned against Jungkook already having being sat beside Taehyung and raised his hand up in the air proudly. “I shall join as well.”

Jin looked at all five men and shook his head, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and hugging you to his side. “This is ridiculous, I can’t even believe you-”

“Hyung. If you play, you could save (Y/N) from all of our little tricks at winning her over you know? Playing as well and all.” Taehyung added, a visible smirk spreading to his lips as he raised his eyebrows at the elder.

Jin looked at you worriedly and squeezed your shoulder, sighing as he brought his head down to debate with himself to accept the offer or not. Finally he nodded and slowly let’s go of your shoulder, mumbling a small apology as he went over to join the rest.

“Don’t I have any say in this?”you groaned, honestly not surprised by their behavior. Taehyung shook his head and turned to Namjoon who had sat himself on the couch. “What about you hyung?”

Namjoon shook his head and smiled “I can’t, I view (Y/N) as a little sister so if I joined - it’ll be kinda weird. Plus, she’ll need the help of someone who’s actually capable of having some information of you all.”

Taehyung nodded and shrugged, turning back to face you with a large boxy smile. “Alright well! Do you wanna play along with this bet, (Y/N)?” Taehyung questioned, his arm reaching out. Rolling your eyed you immediately took his hand into yours and shook it, a mischievous smirk plastered against your face. “Try me.”

[tumblunni]

Man its so weird to think back and see how many signs there were that I was transgender long before I realized it. I was SO fucking oblivious, I had no clue that being nonbinary was even an option, all I knew was 'well I don't wanna be the opposite gender but I don't wanna be the one I was assigned at birth'. (Except obviously I didn't even know the correct words to describe it) And like... I bought into A LOT of horrible transphobic bullshit, cos I was raised with a biased view of what being transgender even is. 'Trans-sexual people are turned on by wearing women's clothes'. Ugh. And I was completely disgusted by it, since I'm a sex repulsed asexual and everything about foreplay or whatever disgusts me. My parents and pop culture and stuff all treated it like trans people were the equivelant of someone into BDSM wearing nipple clamps out in public or something. 'Well in theory I have nothing against them having that kink, but why do they have to show it in public?' Being trans was ALWAYS only shown as 'oo kinky I like to crossdress in the bedroom', as if it was a fucking sexuality, as if there was NO OTHER REASON why someone would wanna wear the 'wrong' clothes and use the 'wrong' pronouns. I felt viscerally disgusted at myself whenever I didn't want to wear my birth gender's cliche outfits, I denied absolutely everything cos I didn't want people to think I was a pervert. I didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to be transgender and asexual, or even that being transgender wasn't the same as being gay! I said SO MUCH fucking horrible transphobic and homophobic stuff as a kid, just parroting what I was told, and overcompensating for hating myself by making it clear I hated everyone remotely similar to me. While being in huge denial that they were similar to me! And I'm gonna carry these regrets forever and always worry that I stopped someone else from feeling comfortable about theirself and just... GAHH! And I did all the same too about parroting stereotypes of 'crazy people' and 'r*tards' before I learned that this big ol stereotype about autism was bullshit and real autistic people look EXACTLY LIKE MYSELF It just makes me think a lot about how many other people out there might be trans and not have the ability to find out because they've been buried so utterly in this false, bigoted image of what a trans person actually is. Tho also I hate the dumb stereotype that 'all homophobes are secretly gay', like seriously wtf why u wanna escape all responsibility for your actions and say the only problem is gay people systemically oppressing THEMSELVES... ANYWAY I went off on a sad train of thought there but back to the point! I'm just remembering this one part of a school trip that was like one of my most treasured memories for no logical reason until I realised I was trans. I met a new classmate and he mistook me for the opposite gender, and I was like 'HOLY SHIT WHY AM I HAPPY' until someone else 'corrected' him. I mean.. I knew I wasn't that gender either, but it felt like a weight off my shoulders to at least be misgendered the opposite way for once. I felt inexplicably happy that I was looking ambiguous enough to even be in question! And this was when I was like 11, I had no clue what word to even assign to these feelings... And I mean, it was SO DUMB that I never noticed these signs! This is what internalized transphobia does to you! Like 'hey there's probably no reason at all why I always play as a different gender ever time I buy a pokemon game, and get this self hatey feeling in my gut when both options have very stereotypically gendered costumes'. And 'wow there sure is no reason why I got inexplicably attached to this genderless character and can't stop thinking about ways to prove they aren't real'. Seriously all that debate about 'quina is really a girl/boy' with weird evidence in stat builds and equip items and stuff! I got REALLY into that transphobic bullshit cos it was something that shook up my perception of the world and I felt like if not being either gender was ACTUALLY AN OPTION then id have to address painful things about myself. If I knew I could be that, I couldn't keep lying to myself. So I went in aggressive denial mode and missed this chance to come out of the closet at like 9 years old and save myself a damn lot of trouble! And then I just went through the same bullshit at 14 with Chrona from Soul Eater, and could not explain why on earth I was so upset that the English dub assigned them a random gender instead of translating it properly... And OH MAN how fucking dysphoric I was about puberty even before I knew that dysphoria was a thing! It was like 'hey look you're growing up!' 'NO IM NOT DEAR GOD NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN'. And that led to this stupid thing of me just saying 'well I have the mental age of a seven year old LOL' to excuse whenever I acted 'weird'. My forum avatar and stuff was a doodle of myself in chibi form, etc. (Even literally wearing chest binding... I only knee at the time that it was 'a martial arts thing' tho.) Like, I'd got all these messages that not wanting sex was 'childish' and not wanting my body to change was obviously 'immature', and when I was undiagnosed with mental illness and trying yo make up excuses for how I TOTALKY didn't have a mental illness, all I could say was 'ha ha I'm totally uhh... Doing it on purpose? Cos I'm so... Quirky?' I got obsessed with overacting as a class clown, cos I mean you can also excuse cross dressing as a thing that 'the comic relief character' does... And OH MAN, like my big Special Interest throughout all of high school was Norse myth, more specifically Loki. I was FASCINATED with the idea of a shape shifter who could be either gender, and was completely unashamed about it. And, of course, I used to play it off as 'ha ha isn't it so funny he turned into a girl', when I seriously did not have any clue WHY it was funny, I just thought I had to say it. It HAD to be the reason I was so sympathetic yo this character, right? Because he's A FUNNY JOKE?? And man then I got so obsessed with researching non gendered English pronouns from the 18th century and championing how they should totally come back into modern language and EVEN THEN I was in denial! It took until I played Magical Diary to realise 'well fuck I'm trans'. It took a game outright saying that these genderless pronouns arent just 'to be inclusive of both genders' but can be used for A THIRD GENDER, A GENDERLESS GENDER, A BOTH AND/OR NEITHER GENDER!! A game saying that this gender does exist in human beings, and EVEN THEN I took ages to be sure that it was really real and not just a fantasy thing that the game made up. I mean, quina was totally only genderless cos they're a magical creature, right? (Completely ignoring the fact that the other two members of that magical creature town are both male...) And just.... AAAAAAA I feel like I'm the human personification of that 'no Patrick, put it on the lid' meme No, you're trans. No, TRANS. Trans, bunni! TRANS!! This is what societal prejudices do to people. Even LGBTQ people usually grow up within homophobic, transphobic society, absorbing all the same messages. It destroys our ability to be okay with being ourselves... Its so fucking sad that this happened to me, and it hurts even more to think of all the times I said insensitive offensive stuff to other LGBTQ people back when I thought I was cis and straight... Gahhhh... ALSO, it makes me extra sad that Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2 never got released in Europe. There's a character there called Arno who's NB and very out about it, and the English translators didn't make a mess of it, or anything. People actually call Arno 'they', and literally their catchphrase is 'Are you a boy or a girl?' 'I'm just a child of the wind~' Like seriously NO ambiguity, character actually getting to dish out sick burns when being misgendered, absolutely NO room for the ol 'well they just don't MENTION a gender, it doesn't mean they were intended to be nonbinary' excuse. Arno outright stating 'I am not a boy, and I an not a girl'. And your protagonist respecting it! Arno is still my absolute fave best handled nonbinary character in all of games. And the summon night series is very inclusive with a lot of gay romance options! Its a shame tho that the only other game with a nonbinary character was never dubbed even in america. But apparently the protags of previous games get a cameo in the upcoming Summon Night 6 which finally will be released in Europe! I just hope they handle Corlal's pronouns respectfully, considering how they managed to do it so well a decade ago with Arno. But then again the Swordcraft Story series is a spinoff so the main games might have different translators? Anyway, let me hug my tiny enby dragon child! Also I'm sad the cellphone app trading card game never got dubbed either, cos Corlal got some cute cards for the valentine's day event. All three dragon kids just got adorable scenes making platonic family chocolate for their siblings cos they're too young to really participate. And they thankfully got super cute totally non-lolicon maid and butler outfits like SERIOUSLY THANK GOD FOR THAT! Just cute ten year olds playing dressup like normal kids. Corlal got two cards for that one! Them being nonbinary continues to be 100% canon, they got a version with both a dress and a tuxedo. AND ITS SO FUCKING CUTE MY GOD ...man I'm sorry this just went off topic into how great that series is But anyway! If I've ever said anything that offends you, please message me about it! I'm still unlearning a lot of internalized prejudice. Also if you want a quality nonbinary werewolf in a cool side scrolling GBA jrpg, look for Arno! Im on mobile rite now so I can't send links n stuff, but as soon as I finish moving my PC desk to the other room I shall spam you all with my obscure fandom's!!!

[sodasyrup]

DAILY ANON SPAM

i really let these build up

DAY 315: nah lol it okay. I was able to write, I was just staring at the screen. and I wrote more until I finished the second chapter today!!!!

congrats on writing!

DAY 316: THIS THUNDERSTORM IS A STRONG BOY TODAY OH FUCK!!! I actually heard the thunder even with my earbuds in max volume 😳

i fuckin love thunderstorms..........

DAY 317: I didn't get to write today 😔 honestly quite tired but I got to have hot chocolate so that's good

WHORE

DAY 318: I was able to write and we're supposed to have really bad storms today!!!!! also I almost fell asleep before doing this lmao

Whore redacted

DAY 320: in a gift event and got my giftee. I'm so excited to start writing for them!!!!!!

day missing?

DAY 321: I was so distracted today and I don't know why 😔 also I really want a switch so I can play animal crossing but I don't want to burden my parents

oh.... if u get a switch we can play naminal crosigns 

DAY 322: OH MY GOSH, THAT'S AMAZING!!! GOOD JOB!!!! :D!!!!!!!!!!

COLLEGE TIME BABY!

DAY 323: this whole week, 0/10 for me. I've been so forgetful and keep procrastinating. the only reason I am able to finish what I have done so far is because of sprints 😓 oh well! but I'm tired so sleepy time night!!!

oh babe sorry. i hope u slept well

DAY 324: dunno if I already mentioned this, but I'm in two birthday events and I already reached the first minimum word count for one of them and am halfway to the other event's word count minimum!!! :D

time to pass the MAXIMUM WORD COUNT

DAY 325: I GOT MY UNDERCUT SHAVED AGAIN!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK! YEA! GAY! RIGHTS!

DAY 326: my legs hurt from standing so much reorganizing my clothes 😪

id rather die than organize my clothes

DAY 327: I WENT OUTSIDE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH AND WATCHED TWO MOVIES I RENTED!!! Sonic was really good and Birds of Prey too!!!

outside......... *smacks u* dont get infected 

DAY 328: my knee HURTS!!! also I really hope I can get a new laptop soon so I don't have to worry about it and can write freely

*rips out ur knee* you deserve so much 

DAY 329: I have one day left of "school" and I doubt I even have much to do and I hate it :( but how have you been? are you doing good?

u did it..... today was my last day of work! twinsies....even tho im LATE

DAY 330: I'm gonna miss everyone but at least soon I will be able to sign up to finish my driving lessons and then focus on my writing completely :D

oh fuck epix! i cant drive im gay

DAY 331: my knee hurts but I finally figured out how I want my gift fic to keep going!!! also I hate america once again but I love the people who are rioting because honestly, I'm surprised we haven't lost our patience sooner

FIX UR FACKIN KNEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also god america is awful but my heart goes out to the protesters 

DAY 332: don't know if you've heard about pride///fall but be careful, okay? also I'm pretty sure there was a protest not too far where I live. however it ended, I'm just proud

ive heard of it but idc too much ive been around for awhile i know the internet well enough to just shrug it off. more concerned for others

DAY 333: dude it's okay. don't force yourself to answer them all at once. almost all of my daily anons have been written while I was half asleep in bed anyway, I vibe with that

owo........i answered them ALL

DAY 335: thanks dude. it's just painful to see innocent people be hurt or k*lled. nothing about this is right and I hate so much of this world right now. I can only hope things get better from here

MISSING A DAY

also yeah it sucks so much but we can work towards something better, together

DAY 336: I made ramen two hours ago and ate it. in the middle of the night. my stomach may not agree fully but I don't regret it. also I cannot type at all today

i think ramen just does that? makes u shit ur pants

DAY 337: currently crying because I just finished reading a fic and I'm just emotional. I knew what was gonna happen because of the major character death warning but jesus fuck, it hurt so much in the end. I loved it. 15/10

i cant read angst no comfort it makes me depressed

DAY 338: I've had a headache this whole day 😔 and I think I'm starting to feel bored and lonely. I might take a walk at some point or just sleep a lot

:^(

sorry man, NZ has been out of lockdown for awhile. hope you feel better soon

DAY 339: I said fuck it and had ramen again at like midnight, however much my stomach disagrees be damned. and now I am sated uwu

RAMEN MAKES U POOPY!

DAY 340: sleeby... but playin sims... and eating cheese... mmmmmmm 😋

sims......chehze....... mlemlemelme

DAY 341: leggy hurts but I have ice cream so I guess it balances out uwu

dude fix your leg serious go to a doctor or something

DAY 342: it was raining today!!!! and I loved it!!!! it was so windy!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love rain when im not in it

DAY 343: I finished drawing a second of and started my third! I love them all so far

ART! CONGRATS!

DAY 344: I was sad today but I had two cups of hot coco and did several sprints so I'm feeling better now :)

coco is very nice, you deserve it

DAY 345: it got cold all of a sudden??? excuse me, how rude. anyway, it's hot chocolate time!!!! imma add a little salt

the cold is me sucking away ur- wait wait wait salt in your fucking coco?

DAY 346: it was cold as a BITCH last night and it's cold again!!! 😭 at least I got blankets and hot chocolate 😋

SALTY HOT CHOCOLATES?

DAY 347: I might have allergies, idk. but I can finally finish up my driving lessons!! and I finished my required hours so woohoo!!!

i’ll sneeze in ur mouth to fix ur allergies 

DAY 346: okay but real talk- I'll probably stop doing these after I do a whole year if that's okay. and I finishing up my driving lessons!

THATS FINE BABE one whole year like. fuckin dedicated!

DAY 349: I just realized I messed up the day number for the last one *dies* goddamnit. anyway, early sleepy time!!!!!! uwu

you’ve messed up a few but its ok bc youve done this for a fucking YEAR

DAY 350: MY BODY FUCKING HURTS????? rude. I don't even know why, it just did

im gonna remove ur bones

DAY 351: oof writing is hard and drawing is hard. goddamnit life is hard. BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME

i wish i had hands to draw and write

[smorgasbordofobsessions]

liveblog: “legend of the stone of gelel” movie

i really have nothing better to do

tldr: too fucking long!! absolutely robbed of the prime gaara content i could’ve had

the netflix summary already turns me off but here i am watching it anywyas

oh are thos sand shinobi??

kankuro??!!!!

ohmygod please tell me i’ll see gaara

that’s gaara it has to be

GAARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY PANDA SON!!!!!!1

a huge ass ship1?!?!?

wait!! does this mean i’m gonna get gaanaru content???

i better get some fucking gaanaru content

i love shikamaru and im amazed i’m being blessed right now

UZUMAKI BARRAGE WOW I LITERALLY FORGOT ALL ABOUT THAT MOVE that he copied from sasuke who copied it from rock lee

because this movie is set pre-shippuden i’m gonna forgive in advance that all they animate is naruto spamming shadow clone jutsu

this movie robbed me of prime shikanaru content

i was talking about mushrooms so i missed some of this movie but i’m sure nothing important

but i’m living!! for the background landscapes because whoever drew them has fucking talent

we’re alreadyspending too much time on this other character’s backstory

also please when is gaara gonna come back

oh what’s this

no fucking way those women heard shika’s gasp no way

yo i’m real tired of this movie

oh artdeco inspired elevators nice

“what’s a utopia?” naruto...

i’m boorrrreedddd of this movie god

please tell me gaara’s arriving soon i’m begging

hey kankuro!!

gaara!!!!!!!

ooohhh i am in OVE with this neon coloring

is kankuro crap at genjutsu?

this makes me want to watch the gaara v sasuke fight and the gaara v deidara fight

okay thanks kankuro because there was no way he could get caught up in a genjutsu that easy

okay wait a fucking minute

yo’re real;;y trying to tell me that gaaa’s sand burial - which we know!!! can kill people dead - didn’t straight up kill this girl? like i’m really suposed to believe that because she changed her body mass or whtever she survived his sand burial??

oohhh so we’re playing the electricity is stronger than sand card?

i fuking guess not since he did sand lighting rod??

that entire fight made no sens

audio: we’re not through yet!

subtitles: wait, you bitch!

shikamaru truly is the epitome of: i really don’t give a shit about htis stone becuse i’m looking for my friend but fuck me i uess i gotta look for naruto and this stone as well

i’m actually tured but i’m also extremely bored of this movie

but also can i get some prime gaanaru and shikanaru content i’m starving

oh background info on the gelel stone okay

wow this art is real mayan nice

shika looks great lounging on a tree root

it literallly just occurred to me that this story is a fucking parallel to nagato’s

so... the ferret liked the character because he has a piece of the gelel stone in him and the ferret likes the gele stone??

“i’m gonna create a utopia by killing people and having people die, no big deal”

yep -literally the only way to create a utopia actually

this dude backhanded the shit out of naruto damn!

dude sees a blacked out mosaic that shows how detuctive the gelel stones are and he’s like “fuck yeah this is good”

skaura smart as hell bless her

ohmygodddddd i’m so bored of this movie jesus help me

of course, the character is questioning everything he knew at suuucchhh a convenient time

i’ve stopped watching this movie but i heard the enemy say “i’ve had enough of this blathering” and if that ain’t me

“would you just die already?!” “go to hell!”

sasuke???

oh the dude’s eyes are green instead of red wow

oh wow symbolism wow

this sounds like ending music so it seems like this movie is finally fucking over

ah fuck did i speak too soon

nope! they’re rolling the credits but there’s still dialogue aahh

hopefully they have enough supplies on the ship to feed everyone

but! shockingly - i actually do not care

i’m glad people got paid to make this. i can’t hate people for making a paycheck

fuck me this movie took forever.