#okay if you had to choose one. never being able to have coffee again or never being able to go to an arcade again/play any games again

[alluralater]

🥾 - don't worry, I'd take care of you babygirl

my biggest pet peeve is people talking over me 😂 otherwise stuff doesn't bother me.

What's your most prized possession?

[deceptive-daydreams]

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Smoke Signals

Chapter Eight - Sweet as Apple Pie

W/C: 6.9K

Eddie x Fem reader - Grumpy!Bartender!Eddie x Shy!Reader

Honesty ensues well into the quiet hours of Halloween.

A/N: this chapter is so full of dialogue....do y'all prefer a lot of dialogue throughout chapters or more scenery descriptions? Or a good amount of both?

Masterlist

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The living room was only illuminated by the flashing, gory scenes from the TV playing A Nightmare on Elm Street.  It wasn’t your first choice and you had made that clear as you talked your way through the intense parts, keeping your focus on the popcorn bowl in your lap as you scavenged for a melty M&M.  You preferred something more lighthearted but your unintentional guest insisted that with it being Halloween and all, it was ‘like the law’ to watch a horror movie.  Perhaps you were somewhat okay with it, at least you didn’t have to pretend to have fun at a party and you were in fact cozied up on the couch watching a movie while eating your Halloween candy like you’d longed for in the first place.  The only difference was the blood and violence playing out on the screen that you hadn’t planned to endure.

“You’re not even paying attention.”  Eddie tosses a pillow your way, sending popcorn and M&Ms tumbling all over your lap.  

“Eddie!”  You scold.

When you glare at him, you’re met with an expression that can only be recognized as the kind someone exhibits when doing all they can to contain their laughter.  Crinkled eyes and pursed lips ready to explode in a fit of boyish giggles.  He wasn’t drunk anymore, no longer able to escape your incessant teasing should you choose to hold it over him.

A handful of popcorn mixed with candy is flung at him, a piece successfully clinging to his hair and several M&Ms rolling down his chest into the crevices of the couch that would never see the light of day again.  There’s no ignoring the adorable pout on your lips and the way you’d become such a stubborn thing from the smallest inconvenience.  

“Haven’t I been through enough tonight?”  He frowns, dramatically picking the snack out of his hair to toss it toward you, landing somewhere on the rug below for you to some day clog your vacuum with.

Ignoring his question, the bowl is abandoned on the coffee table, movie long forgotten about as you bring your legs up to your chest and shift your eyes directly to him.  Beneath his remaining eyeliner, you can make out the exhaustion forming under his eyes, bags growing more intense with every waking hour, his chapped lips parted ever so slightly as the light from the TV flashes over his features. 

You begin to feel selfish for changing into your fluffy pajamas earlier, your pants a checkered orange and black pattern while you opted to wear a well loved gray t-shirt with faded letters that could barely be made out anymore.  Eddie remained in his black jeans and tattered cut off, his jacket that previously adorned your shoulders hung snugly on the hook near the door.  

There was no way you had anything that would accommodate his long legs although you could probably get by with offering him one of your larger shirts.  You wonder if his skin is covered in goosebumps or if he tends to run hot and remain unbothered by the chilliness of your home.  Embarrassingly so, you hadn’t learned how to use the fireplace yet.  Blankets were a necessity and you found yourself cuddling up with nearly five at a time as the weather grew more frigid.

“I meant to ask, what is your costume?  Yourself?”  You question.  An attempt to ease into offering him something warmer to wear as well as genuine curiosity.

“No?”  He leans forward laughing, his attention bouncing between you and the movie.  “Ozzy.  Ozzy Osbourn.”  He states proudly.

His tattoos draw you in as he brings his arms up to cross over his chest, his posture uncharacteristically comfortable on the opposite end of your couch.  You were sure he was almost sober so it must have been sleep deprivation allowing him such luxury.  A laugh bubbles in the back of your throat as you process his costume, something so convenient as it was practically his actual wardrobe, only a tad more revealing than what you were used to him wearing.

“What, so you just smudge some eyeliner on and you're Ozzy?”  You giggle.

“Oh.”  He scoffs.  “And you put your hair in pigtails and you’re Dorothy?”

“Um, no?”  You cock a brow.  “A lot of work went into my costume.  It just looks like you shredded up your poor shirt and smudged black all over your eyes.” 

A giggle vibrates through his body, an actual giggle, almost a squeal as he buries his head in his hands.  Another postcard for the space in your brain that was becoming larger with each interaction.

“Also, aren’t you cold?  I’m fucking freezing and I’m covered in layers–”

Eddie continues to laugh, the image of a slap happy boy becoming clearer and clearer.  His heavy hand makes contact with his thigh, deep chuckles following as you study the crows feet forming at the corner of his eye.  Extra prominent tonight.

“I am–I’m fucking cold.”  He throws his head back.

It’s contagious, the energy lingering in the air as you join in.  You’re unaware of what’s so funny; it seems the mundane act of being alive is hilarious.

Tears threaten to spill, the kind that don’t come around very often; the kind that hold pools of joy, seas of dopamine longing to spill down your cheeks.  A salty mess that would paint the prettiest memory, glossy eyelids and parted lashes more immaculate than any piece of art Eddie could imagine.  Before you can allow him to indulge in such a sight, fat tears of euphoria are sucked back in, any excess wiped on the pads of your fingers.  

“Do you…want a shirt?  I-I dunno if I have any that’ll fit comfortably but…if you’re cold?  Or I might have a sweatshirt!”  You hop up, recovering from your fit of laughter in your moment of realization.

You don’t give him time to answer, immediately retreating to your room.  His heart feels as if it's gnawing through his chest at the way you worry about him; the fact that you would even be concerned for his well being is still something he would never get used to.  Not many people have offered him that courtesy throughout his life, always equating his family name to something undeserving of any friendly gesture.

When you return, an oversized navy blue sweatshirt in hand with a grin on your face, he swears his heart convulses on the spot.  And when your fingers brush against his as you offer it to him, his lungs are rendered breathless, the desire to linger a little longer pulling him in like gravity.  Your soft skin against his rough fingertips is enough to mess with his brain chemistry, reducing him to a useless man at your mercy, though he’d never admit it.  Not because he didn’t want to but because he was him, and why would someone as delicate and kind hearted as you ever settle for someone as damaged and twisted as him?

Someone so dainty, so lovely, would never in a million years look at him and find him desirable.

When he thanks you, it comes out as an ungrateful mumble, his eyes suddenly glued to his lap in insecurity.  That look on his face that you’d come to recognize, a look of absence.  His mind fed on him and sucked him dry of emotion, eyes blank and devoid of the life that just seconds ago they were so full of.

“You okay?”  You ask, a gentle approach, voice velvety soft with hints of concern.

He doesn’t give you a verbal answer, only nodding while his gaze stays on his lap, the sweatshirt held weakly between his ringed fingers.  His silence is reason enough to believe that it was a lie.  You just couldn’t put your finger on what exactly had happened in the time you’d left the room to you handing him an article of clothing.

“Do you want…to go to sleep?”

The question pierces his doughy brain, stuffed with self depreciation and alienation, only a smidge of room available to process your words.  But even as the words puncture his thoughts, the self hatred won’t deflate fast enough.  So he stares.  He stares at you, those big chocolatey eyes dipped in sadness and self loathing, the ambience now melancholy.  An ache seeps into your chest, traveling up your throat and stinging your eyes at the sight of such a sorrowful man who had just moments ago blessed your ears with his deep laughter and looked at you with such glee.  Suddenly he was gone and once again, he was chasing his inner monologue, you could tell by the way he stared off into the distance, how he had removed himself from the room momentarily.

“Hey, what’s going on?”  You crouch in front of him, the blue light from the TV the only thing allowing you to map out his features.

“Nothing.”  He whispers, snapping out of his trance.

His irises warm up, only slightly, but you can still make out the muted glaze cast over them leftover from his moment of despair.  He isn’t out of the woods yet.

“I-I’m fine.  Sorry, was just…thinking.”  He mutters, slipping the sweatshirt over his head, the material fitting comfortably over his torso, hair now frizzier than before.

“What are you thinking about?”  

You almost lose him again, thoughts swallowing him and nearly drowning him right before you.  But the touch of your hand over his pulls him out, a token of your kindness.  A wordless reassurance that reels him back in.  

“Everything.”  He sniffles, head shaking as if to ward off the waterworks.

Eddie doesn’t let any tears fall, withholds them.  Forces them back into his tear duct, regretting the vulnerability he was further pushing onto you.

“Like what?”  You gently push, thumb stroking over the back of his hard working hand.

Moments follow your question, contemplation behind his gaze while he hesitates.  The world seemed to never be patient enough for him.  So you would.  

For him, you would.

As the gap of silence grows larger, you only give him more encouragement in the form of your thumb continuing to stroke his knuckles, your stare soft on his profile.  There was no rush, not when he’d just hours ago welcomed you into his tortured past.  Not when his nose crinkled as his eyes grew wet again, lashes coated and lip bitten between his teeth anxiously.

“Um–”  He chokes out, not a single tear allowed past his waterline.

You offer a squeeze of your hand, sympathy pouring from your touch into him.  He only tenses up at the sentiment, its effect foreign to him.

“I should go.”  Dragging his hands down his face, he’s puzzled when you stop him from standing.

“Eddie.”  You maintain eye contact with him, even as his eyes dart around the room, you attempt to keep him focused on you.  “I don’t know what’s bugging you but…it can’t be anything crazier than what you’ve told me tonight.”  

Uncertainty pools in his dark irises, honey hues nearly gone in the almost-dark room.  The TV lighting only offers you the tiniest crumb of espresso and swirling caramel that usually brought him to life.  Though, you aren’t entirely sure they’d even be there had you turned the lights on, his grim demeanor clearly yanking away any happiness he had experienced moments prior.

“I-I–why…why are you trying to help me?”  He struggles to get the question out, appearing to be engaged in an internal battle, almost as if he was blindly attempting to make his way back to you, his mind holding him hostage.

You can’t hide the surprise taking over your face, the utter horror at the fact that he would ask such a thing.  Maybe he regretted sharing everything now that he was allegedly sober again?  But that didn’t change your feelings on the topic, you cared.  Whether he word-vomited due to his scattered brain thriving off the alcohol or whether he was stone sober, his feelings mattered to you and you wanted him to know it.

“Because you’re a person, Eddie.”  You begin, once again taking his reluctant, clammy hand and draping your touch over his knuckles.  “Any person deserves compassion.  So what’s bugging you?  I won’t judge.  Promise.”

Holding your pinky out, an empathetic smile paints your lips.

“Pinky promise.”

Within seconds his eyes go from dark discs of despair to those famous honey pools of fondness.  You take note the way he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his pinky around yours, warmth blossoming in your chest and spreading all throughout your body.  And if he needs another moment of quiet after that, he doesn’t communicate it but you gladly welcome it.  

My feelings.  My feelings are bugging me.  Taking me hostage.

It’s what he wants to say but realistically he shoves the dreadful words into the back of his throat as he comes up with something else, another way to convey his thoughts without simply outing himself, making a fool out of himself that you would surely laugh at.  

“I-uh, I’m not very good at this.”  Eddie tries to escape the conversation.

To be fair, he did the same thing with his therapist, it wasn’t anything personal.  It was his own flaw.  But you may have better luck than his therapist, he regrets.  Simply because he would become something he didn’t want you to see him as: an emotionally stunted boy with too many complicated feelings, love drunk on the first girl who had given him more than the time of day.  Just because you were nice to him, didn’t entitle him to reciprocated feelings.

“That’s okay.  I don’t think anyone is.”  You whisper.

Eddie’s eyes shut tightly, his thoughts too painful to voice yet he forces them out–or rather they claw their way out of his throat the second he looks into your begging eyes.  Wordless pleas reach out to him as his brain threatens to shut down any and all communications.

“I just–I don’t…I shouldn’t even be here.”  He sighs deeply.  “I-I don’t deserve to be here.”

At his admission, you find it difficult to voice anything comforting.  Any words you had waiting for him were swallowed at the raw emotion he was displaying.  The look on your face forces him to continue, he needs to fix the situation but he fears he may just make it worse and chase you further away.  He had been digging his own grave for some time now, never learning when to just stop and lay in it.

“Chrissy–um, Chrissy.”  He whispers, eyes fluttering shut.

None of it made sense and he was trying his hardest to wrap things back around and allow you to make the connection in your head.

“You–you remind me of…C-Chrissy.”  A tear trails down his cheek, his hand rapidly wiping it away as he pathetically attempts to repair the conversation.

Instead of offering another squeeze to his hand, you make your way onto the couch next to him, thigh dangerously close to his as you run a hand up and down his back.  You expect the discussion to end there but he only continues.

“And–and that scares me.  Cause, it-it should’ve been me, I should’ve been dead–I should be dead!”  Eddie’s face grows more red, the topic clearly weighing heavy on his heart.  “I can’t–I can’t do it again.”  More tears flow down his tinted cheeks, uncontrollable at this point.

“It feels–it feels l-like it’s going to–to happen again.”  He becomes more and more worked up, barely breathing while he rushes the words out in one breath.  “Like–like the universe or some shit i-is gonna punish me.”  

Your eyes sting, that uncomfortable frown beginning to pull at the corners of your mouth as you watch him self destruct before you.  Something you’d never ask of him though he was voluntarily spilling the contents of his bleeding heart into your hands.

“Okay, okay.”  You begin to soothe.

“I d-don’t get good things.”  “G-good things don’t–don’t happen to me.”  He hiccups.

“Shhh, you don’t need to get upset with yourself.”

Bravely, you go to use the corner of a nearby blanket to blot at the tears trailing down his face to which he flinches away, shaking his head.  That alone would normally be enough to send you to the other side of the couch, bashfully avoiding eye contact until he took the initiative.  But something within you realized that he shouldn’t be left to take the initiative.  Not when he was displaying such pain, such vulnerability that you were convinced not many people had ever seen.  

“God, so pathetic.”  He utters under his shaky breath.

“Hey.”  You softly scold, hand wrapping around his forearm.  He doesn’t flinch at your advances this time.  “You are not pathetic.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Eddie.”

“Don’t throw me a pity party.”  He grits.

“I am not throwing you a pity party.  Stop that.”

It’s out of character, the way you stand up to him.  If it were anyone else you probably wouldn’t have made it this far into the conversation but you can feel your blood boiling as he dismisses his emotions.  You can’t sit by and allow him to continue throwing punches at himself.  Your sudden anger appears to silence him, his glassy eyes glancing at you in disbelief but still obeying your demand.

“I’m being a hypocrite but I-I just…stop.”  You whisper, the devastated look on your face enough to bring him to his knees if he were standing.  Instead he remains seated with his focus solely on you.

“I know…”  You search for the right words.  “I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t deserve good things.”

Eddie doesn’t interject your speech, only listens intently with sad eyes and wet cheeks.  He doesn’t deserve the time day let alone your dedication to his sorrows and worries.  

“I, um, I grew up practically raising my siblings.”  You begin to explain.  “And, um, that responsibility really makes it feel like your needs come last.  And it just gets worse and worse as the years go on because…it’s hard.  Feeling emotionally neglected while tending to everyone else’s emotions.”

His gaze doesn’t once wander, completely devoted to you, to your story.  There’s not an ounce of judgment seeping out of him.  The familiar feeling you were so used to when you opened up every once in a blue moon where you felt deeply misunderstood and silently criticized was nowhere to be found.  All you could make out was pure empathy.  Compassion.  Curious brown eyes searched into your soul, not just scraping the surface but fully diving into the depths you so willingly lead him to.

“I-I don’t know what it’s like to lose someone like that–like you did Chrissy.”  You tread carefully, as if you were afraid to even mention her name.  “I mean–I lost my dad recently but…I didn’t witness anything and it was because of health issues.  We weren’t close and I actually…really hated him.”  You nod, staring meanly into the carpet.

“But, I, um, I know what it’s like to keep people out.  It’s not fun but it’s all we know isn’t it?”  You chance a laugh, earning you the tiniest upturn of his lips.  “And I mean, things are fine with my siblings and my mom, I guess.  But it still feels like I need to shut them out.  To protect their emotions.  And for some reason it just…makes sense to leave them out of it?  I dunno.”  Your voice trails off, confidence wavering.

“It does make sense.”  Eddie speaks up, voice scratchy.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”  He bites his lip, canine digging into his own flesh before releasing it to speak again.  “Feels like they wouldn’t get it.  Or they shouldn’t have to.  At least that’s how it feels with Wayne.  I know I can tell him anything but…why bother him with all the shit going on in my life when the man has already gone through hell because of me?”  

He takes in a deep breath before sighing and continuing.  “Fuckin’ had to raise a kid that wasn’t even his.”

There’s a certain disappointment to Eddie’s tone, a condescending scowl splayed across his face, only directed at himself as he twists his rings around his fingers.  

“Um.”  He pipes up again, seeming to snap himself out of a trance he’d lured himself into.  “‘Nough about me.”  A smile spreads over his pretty lips, not a genuine one.

“Eddie.”  Like silk, your tone is soft.

“Stop doing that.  You don’t have to do that.  Not around me.”

His chest deflates with an exhale, his pretty eyes still wet and wandering around the room.  There’s a lost child hidden within them, someone desperately trying to cling to the current adult reality but appearing to get lost in the process.  That look was too familiar and there was a sliver of relief in knowing you weren’t the only one who wore it but it yanked on the most tender parts of your heart to know Eddie was suffering just the same as you, if not more.

“T-tell me about Chrissy.”  You whisper.  “Only if you want to.”  

When Eddie’s roaming gaze finally lands on you, he never would have expected to be met with such sincerity.  Not a drop of malice in your voice, not one trace of aggression.  The kind that he was buried in when forced to confront a whole town who suspected he was responsible for her death.  Every mention of her name was always followed by an accusatory finger and seething anger, pitchforks practically aiming for him.  The worst part was he didn’t blame them.  Now, he didn’t mention the hellish underworld beneath Hawkins to you and had explained that the earthquake took Chrissy with a vengeful force right in front of him.  You had no reason to believe him, but you did.  You could’ve believed he was a murderer as everyone else.  You didn’t.  A piece of him wishes he could go into detail about the horrors that once lurked under Hawkins but he’d already breached his contract enough telling you that he was attacked by “creatures”, never going into full detail and telling you that they were gigantic bats.  And you didn’t seem to mind, never pushing for further explanation, only taking what he was willingly giving to you.

“I…”  He begins.  “I…she…she was…”

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to–”

“No.”  He whispers.  His fingertips swipe underneath his eyes, collecting a fair amount of running eyeliner.  “I-I uh, I want to.”  He nods to himself.

“Chrissy was uh, was one of the good ones.  Not a mean bone in her fuckin’ body.”  Eddie starts.  “Even if she was in the ‘popular crowd’ she never bullied anyone.  She thought I was mean and scary at first but…she never…she never showed it.  She’d wave to me every now and then.”  He laughs at the memory, only making your soul ache.

“Now that I think about it, maybe she only waved because she was scared of me.”  He chuckles in self deprecation.  “Can’t blame her.  Everyone’s scared of me.  Always have been.”

“I’m not.”  

Your sudden interruption has his brows knitting together, a softness overcoming his eyes.  He was a mess of a man and you continued to tend to him as if he was deserving of any of your attention.  He wasn’t, and he truly believed that.

“What?”  Eddie attempts to buy some time, stupidly racking his brain for something of some kind of intelligence.

“I’m not scared of you.”

“I–thought you were.  I mean, I wasn’t exactly…nice to you when you first moved in.  I yelled at you all the time–you don’t have to lie to me.”  

“I used to be, yeah.  I’m scared of practically everyone before I get to know them so it wasn’t just you.  But I’m not anymore.”  You explain honestly.  “Keep telling me about her.  If it’s not too much.  She sounded like she was a lovely person.”  

“Yeah.  Yeah, she was.  Had a crush on her for like forever.  Like since middle school when we kinda hung out at the talent show.”  Suddenly, he’s shaking his head again, as if to erase his previous thought.  “It’s stupid.  ‘M twenty four and I’m whining about–”

“Stop.”  You whisper, a bold hand squeezing at his knee.  The action sends his nerves into a frenzy.

“Nothing you say is stupid.”

No one has ever been so patient, so accommodating over his feelings and deepest tragedies showcasing themselves in his darkest hours.  It’s strange enough that he begins to wonder if someone is pulling a prank on him.  If he’s being played like a violin only to be laughed at when the curtain is pulled back.  He couldn’t help it, it was all he had come to learn after all.  Eddie knew you didn’t have it in you to commit such a heinous act against another individual but his mind had been poisoned time and time again, only sending him into a spiral of ‘what-ifs’ any time positivity lingered just out of his reach to grasp if he was brave enough.

“I barely even knew her.”  He seemingly gives up, hand lightly smacking down on his thigh.  Your touch remains on his knee, burning a hole into his bones as he stares at it.

“That’s okay.  You clearly care about her.” 

It makes him want to scream, the way you validate every sentence he utters out.  It’s not what he’s used to, his therapist never even gives him this amount of attention.  And it’s not fair that a soul like yours had been damned to hear his problems and witness everything that made him ugly.  Eddie was convinced that his soul was tainted and if he imagined what it looked like, it was an inky black stain on reality with hardly any signs of life.  If he only knew that in the two months you had known him, he was the most vibrant and adoring soul you had ever come across.

“I–we just–we really connected.  Right before she died.”  He manages to struggle through his mind demanding that he internalizes his thoughts.  “It felt–good.  She saw me…for me.  Instead of some–some motherfucker that poisoned the town’s precious ecosystem and she didn’t see me as…a freak.”

You offer a nod, an encouragement for him to keep going.  His heart that he kept locked up tight in his chest had been slowly oozing out of him, trickling into your living room.  

“She, um, she had a boyfriend.  Jason.”  He clears his throat, staring at the ceiling.  “He was an asshole.  Not to her, he treated her real nice.  But when Chrissy wasn’t around he was a douchebag.  Started a manhunt for me when shit went down.  He thought I—he–he thought I killed her and—and sacrificed her?”  Eddie almost questions, as if he couldn’t believe his own words.

“All because…I was the leader of a Dungeons and Dragons club.”  He admits bashfully.  You only let your thumb glide over the rip in his jeans, a comforting gesture.  “Everyone, uh, thought it was a cult.  Satanic panic and all that shit.”

“That’s fucked.”

“I agree.  Super fucked.  Especially because it dragged everyone down with me.  Dustin basically put his life on the line for me, I’ll never be able to make it up to him.”

As he expresses his gratitude, Eddie pulls his right arm out of the hoodie sleeve, pulling the material up to display his bicep to you.  The one with the very badly doodled character, somewhat resembling a gnome.  

“But…”  He drags out, slapping the ink proudly.  “This did really excite him at least.”

You examine the drawing, taking his bicep in your hand without a second though as you try to determine exactly what you were looking at.  You didn’t want to offend him but you genuinely couldn’t make out the picture.  It was messy and scribbly and could have been created by a five year old.  “Eddie, I’m sorry but–what is it?”  

“Dustin drew it.  It’s his D&D character.”  

“Oh!”  You smile brightly.

“You don’t have to pretend it's good, he’s a shit artist.”

“Not shit.  Just…inexperienced…maybe?”  You joke, wincing at your own words.

“Very.”  Eddie confirms.  “Dustin’s more of a brains kinda guy.  Gareth and I took care of all the artwork, y’know like logos for the club and our band–”

“You had a band?”  A grin sneaks past your lips.

“I–uh–yeah.”  He admits with defeat, his shoulders slumping.

It’s only then that you realized you still had been tracing your fingers over the inked drawing, not one protest stopping you from doing so.  In fact, Eddie only glanced down briefly and smiled, his cheeks tinting pink.  It wasn’t clear whether it was because of your touch or because of embarrassment.

“Hang on, when did this all end up being about me?”  He glares at you with mock anger.

“No, no, no.  Don’t turn this around.  What was your band’s name?”

“Jesus Christ.”  He whispers, distress evident in his tone though his face only conveys amusement.

Eddie didn’t have to entertain the playful conversation that had suddenly engulfed the two of you.  He didn’t have to banter back or let you touch his arm.  He didn’t have to talk about Chrissy even though his mind was plaguing him and he was the one who brought her up.  Nothing was required of him and you made sure he was aware of that.

But oh, how you reveled in his endearing blanket of an aura as he allowed you to peek behind the oh so heavy curtain that hid his deepest and most tragic thoughts.

–

Marvin’s Grocery had become more and more familiar with your frequent trips over the weeks.  You were determined to perfect an apple pie recipe that would make anyone melt at the taste.  Donnie had extended an invite to her famous Thanksgiving dinner and though it was weeks away, preparations were still under way, your oven enduring more use than it ever had in its short lifetime.  

Guilt ate away at you as you placed the freshly baked pie on the counter to cool.  You didn’t want to be an intruder but Donnie was so insistent when gracing you with the plans back at the supermarket.  It would be your first Thanksgiving away from home and you were set on spending it alone, preparing to create a one person feast and pig out all by your lonesome.  Now, you were going to be faced with at least 30 other guests according to Donnie.  That was intimidating enough and when you tried to reject her invitation to save yourself some embarrassment, she only interrupted you, stating that everyone is going to love you and that even your short time in the spotlight at the Halloween bash left a great impression.  That everyone wanted to get to know you.

Then she bestowed the responsibility of one dessert upon you.  Everyone was required to bring at least one dish, store bought or homemade…it didn’t matter as long as you contributed.  You had weeks to perfect it and though you didn’t need to go through the trouble, the people pleaser in you raged on.

Cinnamon and nutmeg graced your nose, a comforting scent that had you salivating and yearning for a piece of warm, gooey apple pie.  The kitchen was a mess, bowls scattered along the counter top and a bag of flour leaking onto the floor.  You were usually consistent in keeping clean as you worked but the daunting task of perfecting your pie held your complete and undivided attention.  

Buttery, flaky crust called your name as you finished folding your laundry.  The TV blared some popular sitcom that had to have been new as you didn’t recognize it.  Regardless, the pie had interested you more.

It came out beautifully, nearly commercial ready with the criss cross crust and everything.  This was your best outcome yet and you only hope it tasted just as delicious as it looked.  You’d finally perfected the design and it didn’t completely deflate on itself this time, a win in your book.

Regretfully, you cut into the perfect dessert, forming the perfect triangle and plating it as delicately as possible.  This was your baby as far as you were concerned and the passion that had gone into it was going to be recognized, even if only by you.  A quick dollop of whipped cream is placed on top, the only thing missing was ice cream although you weren’t the biggest fan of pairing the two treats, satisfied with just the baked slice of heaven.

It was too flawless, the slice had been perfectly cut and presented like a five star restaurant had prepared it.  Such perfection could not be recreated and you simply needed at least one witness to applaud your work or at the very least acknowledge your newly discovered baking skills.  

–

Two knocks and no movement.  Yet…

The breeze nips at your cheeks, leaving you to regret not throwing a sweater on even if only for a few seconds.  Your hand shields the fresh slice of pie, a desperate attempt to conceal its warmth.  Your masterpiece would not be spoiled at the hands of the inevitably changing weather.  

Another two knocks.  A bit more urgent this time.

You can hear shuffling just beyond the door, an eager shiver running down your spine.  Irritation begins to build within you at the stinging sensation at the tip of your ears, the temperature being especially unforgiving.

Two more knocks.

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’.”  

You hear the grumble and can’t help but feel your spirits lift.

“Wha–Bambi?”  Eddie reveals you, a shivering mess on the porch with your hair in disarray and a plate of pie in your trembling hands.

Without hesitation, he steps to the side and waves you in.  There’s a certain coziness to him, his hair extra frizzy as if he had been laying on it and his eyes a tad puffy.  Almost like a large teddy bear.  His black sweatshirt swallows his torso although he’s wearing shorts, a psychotic move in this kind of weather.  

“Try this.”  You demand, holding the plate out in front of him.

His eyes only stare widely at the treat, grogginess obvious in the way he rubs his eyes and yawns.  Another postcard moment.

“What is it?”  He asks gravelly.  It just about melts you into a puddle on his floor.

“Apple pie!”  

Your enthusiasm takes him back, a surprised expression pulling at his features as he hesitantly takes it.  It crosses his mind that you mentioned taking on baking recently, a slow shift at The Bourbon pulling you both into mindless talk as you cleaned.  He gathers that you were at the peak of your sugar rush, no doubt stealing licks of batter and tastes of sugar as you baked.   If this was the result of you baking all day, he needed a minute to wake up.

“Okay, okay.”  He sighs, brushing past you to set the plate on his kitchen counter, snatching a fork from one of the drawers.

“Why do you need me of all people to taste test?”  He asks a bit unkindly.  He doesn’t mean it but you did wake him from a deep slumber, one of the best naps he had in a while.  Probably the only nap he’d taken in a while as he recalls.

You don’t seem to recognize his irritation, thankfully too caught up in the bubbling excitement around your homemade treat.  “Cause it’s for Thanksgiving and I really want it to be good.”  You explain, bouncing on the balls of your feet impatiently.

An eye roll has you blushing–it shouldn’t–but it does.  All of Eddie’s little quirks whether they were forming out of grumpiness or not, only made him all the more endearing.  The fork finally meets his mouth, heaven about to bless his taste buds–or at least you hope.  

As he chews, he makes it a point to keep a straight face, watching you squirm with anticipation being far too fun for him.  

“How is it?”  

Eddie shrugs.  Okay, maybe not all of his quirks were endearing.

“Eddie!”  You wail, hands gripping the edge of the counter.

“Alright, alright.”  He mumbles, taking a step back as he swallows.  The crust crumbles just right on his tongue, warm gooey apple goodness filling his taste buds and sending him right back to his childhood.  The happy parts.  “Really fuckin’ good.  You have any more?”  He asks, going in for another bite, a smug grin displaying across your face.

“No, you were being rude.”

“Wh–c’mon.”  He just about whines as you steal the plate from his reach, tucking it behind your back.

“Say sorry.”

“I’m not sorry, now give it back.”  An adorable frown pulls at his mouth.

“Eddie.”

“Bambi.”

Big brown eyes stare into yours, stubborn intent evident behind them.  It instantly fades when you give him your best pout, your eyes shining with a silent plea.  With a deep sigh and another eye roll, he gives in.  It was like stealing candy from a baby except even easier as he fumbled his stoic expression and contorted his face into something more apologetic.

“‘M sorry.”  He mumbles.

“You’re what?”  You smile, acting oblivious.  

“I’m sorry!”  Eddie throws his hands up in surrender.  “Happy?”  

“I guess.”  You sigh, placing the beloved dessert back on the counter for him to devour.

“Why you baking so much?”  

His mouth is crammed with pie after he asks, crumbs resting at the corners of his mouth and whipped cream decorating his upper lip.  You determine that he’s a messy eater, sloppily shoveling pie into his mouth until it physically can’t hold anymore.

“Thanksgiving.  I’m in charge of a dessert.  What are you bringing?”

“Nuffin’.”  He mumbles through a mouthful.

“Why not?”  You practically whine.

With a rough swallow, Eddie licks his lips, leaving no trace of the coarse sugar that was previously sprinkled on the crust.  When you glance down, the plate is empty, the pie had vanished into Eddie’s stomach.

“I’m not going.”  He says simply.

Not going?  If he couldn’t go back to Indiana for Thanksgiving, where was he going to go?

“I don’t uh, I don’t do holidays.”  He elaborates.

“Don’t do holidays.”  You scoff.  “You did Halloween just fine.”  

It should gross you out when he retrieves a carton of milk from the fridge and starts chugging it straight from the container.  It doesn’t.  Wiping his mouth with his sleeve, he sets the milk on the counter, eyes meeting yours as his elbows come to rest on the counter, his head propped up in his hands.

“Then that’s the only holiday I do.” 

“You have to go.”  You whine like a child, stomping your foot.

“I don’t have to do anything.”  There’s a certain kind of attitude in his tone, a playful attitude that wasn’t actually meant to offend you, only to spur you on.

“You have to go or else you can’t have any more pie!”  You complain.  “Please Eddie!  You’re like one of the only people I’ll know, you can’t not go.”

Your worried eyes and pouty lips are convincing enough though he might as well have a little fun.  Get under your skin.

“Now you’re being mean.”  He juts out his lip.

The look on your face is priceless, eyes widening and mouth hung open in shock.  “Am not!  You’re going to Thanksgiving because if you don’t then I’m gonna feel guilty the whole time I’m trying to pig out.”

“Guilty?”  An amused grin plasters itself to his face, his figure returning to tower over you as he ceases leaning over the counter.

“Yeah, you can’t spend Thanksgiving alone.”  

He swears there are tears in your eyes, making it unexplainably hard for him to tell you no.  Then again, he always found it hard to tell you no.  Just last week you and Jett begged to decorate the bar with pumpkins and other Fall objects.  The only reason he said yes was because you looked up at him with those perfectly pleading puppy dog eyes, your hands behind your back as you swayed back and forth.  And because you offered to use the pumpkins from your porch, the bar’s dwindling budget sure to be untouched.

“Tell you what…”  Eddie begins his proposition, you listening eagerly as you lean over the counter with your head propped in your hands as he had done seconds ago.  “If you make me my own personal pie—“

“Done.”  You chirp.

“I will consider it.”  He finishes, glaring at you.

“How about…I give you the rest of the pie I have sitting at home right now and you promise you’ll go?”  You light up at your own idea.

“I will consider it.”  He repeats.

“No deal.” 

You cross your arms stubbornly, eyes closing as you tilt your head up in a snobbish manner.  A groan escapes him, you peeking an eye open only to see his nose scrunched in defeat, his tongue licking the back of his teeth and clicking.

He lost the battle.

“Fine.”  He sighs, exhaling through his nostrils in annoyance.  

You don’t miss the tiny smile tugging on his lips as he collects the remaining whipped cream from the plate and licks it from his fingers.  His front was faltering, the big scary dog ready and willing to fall at your feet if you just said the word. 

~end~

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tags - @gravedigginbbydoll @ohauggieo @spicysix @lunatictardis @ali-r3n @batkin028 @mrsjellymunson @witchwolflea @emma77645 @emxxblog @eddiesxangel @angietherose @lottie-90 @sheneedsrocknroll92 @pullingattheroots @avalon-wolf @vintagehellfire @cryingglightningg @foreveranexpatsposts @winchester-angel @mmunson86 @witchwolflea @kurdtbean @micheledawn1975 @tlclick73 @erinekc @hazydespair @whenshelanded @corrodedcoffincumslut @ms1oftheboys @lma1986 @uglypastels @aysheashea

[sarahmadisonxoxo]

An idea that  @spectrum-spectre had inspired a scene in the dark pits of my mind.  Soulmate  AU’s in which people see color at the sight of their soulmate. The rules aren’t specific on whether that is only true if the meeting is in person, or if looking at photographs or videos brings on the same effect.  Soulmates AU Part 2 ---------------------------- Steve returns from the kitchen holding a large bowl of popcorn and two cans of coke from the fridge. Dustin’s been staying with him for a while, and as usual their afternoon consisted of watching television until their bodies screamed for sleep.  This particular afternoon Steve let Dustin choose what they’d watch. Dustin was usually left to make the choice simply because Steve wanted him to be comfortable, but it wasn’t something they mentioned. He’d so far been enjoying Dustin’s pick, the MTV music awards. There had been several artist that Steve adored. Tears for Fears. Madonna.  Dustin however was watching for Corroded Coffin, his newest favorite band that he listened to seemingly nonstop these days. The kid was obsessed, but again Steve didn’t complain because his home was Dustin’s home if he accepted it. It was nice to have someone around to liven up the overwhelming emptiness of the Harrington estate.  Steve set the popcorn down on the coffee table, dropping down next to Dustin on the couch, when his eyes came up to see the television screen color burst from the center of his gaze flooding out to adjust his vision until everything settled and grey was changed with vivid colors he’d only heard about in books.  His soulmate... the only issue was the angle of the camera was showing dozen’s of faces. He’d never be able to tell which one of them sparked the change. It was the whole point of it, making finding soulmates easier. Of course Steve would find a way to fuck his up.... he’d never find them. That show was several states away, the likelyhood of ending up in a room with one of them was nearly impossible. Even if he did, now he wouldn’t have a way to tell him who it was.  “ I think I am going to go to bed..” Steve hums.  “ Bed? Steve it’s eight thirty? “  “ Yeah... Work was just a lot today and I guess it’s just hitting me how tired I am” Steve explained.  Dustin didn’t seem to buy it, but he didn’t argue.  “ Okay.. Goodnight man. “  “ Night”  Steve cried his eyes out that night... over someone he didn’t even know.  ----------- “ thanks for driving me Steve.. I can’t believe they are coming Chicago on a day I can actually attend the convention. “ Dustin stood next to him in the line to get in to meet one of the guy’s from Corroded Coffin.. Steve planned on leaving the line before Dustin went behind the curtain, but he didn’t feel like being alone in here. Everyone seemed chill.. He was just feeling overwhelmed.  “ No problem Dustin.”  Slowly the line progressed foward, Steve eventually dropping out to go stand at the edge of the booth to wait. Letting himself get distracted by the excitement of those leaving the booth. Smiling at them as they ran out with their autographed pictures. He caught sight of Eddie.. or at least that’s who he assumed it was with the sign. The guy was pretty. His smile was bright and filled his face, dimples standing out to soften the rest of the edge his clothing might lead you to think he had.  When he heard Dustin’s voice Steve could only smile at the pure joy and excitement of the kid meeting one of his favorite people. He couldn’t remember hearing him so happy about anything other than when he’d finished building his Cerebro last summer.  The curtain opened, Steve’s eyes met Eddie’s for the first time that day as the man was telling Dustin goodbye.  They didn’t make it far from the booth before he heard someone calling Dustin’s name.. them both turning around to find Eddie running toward them.  “ Sorry I didn’t know your name...” Eddie apologized, taking Steve’s hands in his own. A small crowd forming around them with people muttering how Steve was living everyone's dream right now.  “ Steve? Is everything okay man? “ Steve questioned, Eddie’s face falling as he noticed the utter confusion written over Steve’s features.  “ you didn’t see it” Eddie questioned. “ See what?  “ The color? You didn’t. Oh shit. “  “ The color?..” Steve started, his eyes looking off in thought “ Oh... it was you. On the tv.. I must have seen you. “  “ TV? “  “ The MTV Awards...”  “ Steve that was nearly a year ago... you’ve had color for? “  “ Nearly a year yeah...”  “ Oh shit..” Eddie thought allowed, processing that the confusion was because Steve had been seeing color the whole time. “ Can I take you out sometime? You know if you want. I don’t know if you do this whole thing, but I think it would be pretty cool”  “ Eddie”  “ Yeah”  “ I’d love to go out with you sometime”  “ Great” Eddie cheered, a small smile pulling at his lips, offering his sharpie over to Steve. “ just write your number on my arm”  Eddie tugged his sleeve up to give Steve space in a place that could be hidden on his arm. Both of them smiling like fools the entire time.  “ You should get back to your fans.. “  “ Yeah.. I will call you tonight. “  “ I can’t wait” 

[starrgaziinggg]

SMAU | UNDERCOVER JYP-U

chapter thirteen -> feelings and secrets (written, 4K words)

directory | next chapter ->

"Okay, so that concludes the meeting?" Chan begins to wrap up, clasping his hands together. You take it as your queue to gently nudge Jeongin's side, forcing him awake after having dozed off halfway through your regular Friday afternoon student body meetings. It was safe to say Jeongin may not have been the best choice for the demanding role, yet here he was.

The sun was streaming through the large floor to ceiling windows of the meeting room, so you didn’t blame him for letting the warm sun send him to sleep. You were feeling hazy yourself, having to force yourself to stay awake through Chan’s words.

Jeongin smiles sleepily at you, leaning his head on your shoulder momentarily while the others conclude the discussion about the relevant topics, primarily the events of the charity week occurring at the beginning of the next month.

"You have until next week to choose the specifics for what you will actually do, but you've now chosen your teams for the events, right?" Chan asks, and you all nod your heads - bar Jeongin, of course, who just looks to you with a raised brow. You wave your hand, indicating you'd inform him of what he'd missed later.

The charity week was a week of events that ran once per semester. This year, your chosen charity was World Vision, and your collective aim was to raise a large sum of money to send off. It was known that most of the students that attended you university and their parents were well off, which meant it could hopefully be achieved.

There would be a multitude of events held throughout the week, and opportunities to donate constantly. It was your job as a member of the student body to advocate for the charity and push for as many donations as you possibly could.

Although it was difficult to balance the duties that came with being a student body representative with uni work and a social life, organising the dance course's activities for charity week was a great way to take your mind off of the shit show that was social media right now. Thankfully, Jisung's tweets were very well received, and he didn't get in too much trouble, but you dread to think of would could have happened to him if that weren't the case.

You were also dreading the inevitable next 'secret' that this awful account was going to expose next. It was as if you were constantly glued to your phone, refreshing Twitter like a fan girl on steroids with a constant lump in your throat. Nothing had been posted since last week, though, so you hoped it was going to be a one off.

"Excellent," Chan says, distracting you from your thoughts. Jeongin lifts his head from your shoulder to pack up his belongings, as if he'd used them in the first place. "I think we're taking a well needed break from alcoholic induced social events this week, so if I don't see you guys during the week I'll see you again, here, next Friday."

The way he switches so quickly from his head-screwed-on leader mode to his laid back, casual friendship mode never fails to crack you up. It's as if he has a split personality, and you commend him for being able to juggle everything as efficiently as he does. Once you finish packing your bag, Ryujin makes her way over to you. As the admin of the student body, she sits to the right of Chan in the school's meeting room, whilst Changbin - the vice president, sits to the left.

It was definitely an awkward hour, the two of them on edge with each other after their conversation over coffee the other day. Ryujin had come home and spilled everything to you and Hyunjin, sprawling on your bed beside you and delving deep into their conversation. Hyunjin had even taken a break from his art piece to listen intently to her, putting his input in and giving her advise when she asked for it.

Having Hyunjin over was a lot...nicer, than you'd expected it to be. He was quiet and pleasant and save for the hour he got bored and had a rush of energy, he kept to himself and worked hard at his painting. It was nice to have his company, the two of you not speaking and simply getting your work done in peace. His artwork came out beautifully, too, which left him heading home in a great mood.

That photo he'd posted was still on your mind, though you'd never admit that out loud. 

"God that was a drag," she drawls, flopping to lean on the table in front of you as you stand up, the others heading out the door. "I love Chan, but these things could be over in fifteen minutes if he kept it simple."

"He'll have an aneurism if you tell him to shorten them," you snort, walking out the room with Ryujin's arm linked in yours. Lia and Yuna had told you earlier they were going shopping after the meeting, so you watch them walk in the opposite direction to you and Ryujin after saying goodbye. They'd invited you guys and Chae too, of course, but you knew if you indulged in their shopping spree you'd spend far too much, and the cost of being a Uni student did not come cheap.

So, you'd arranged a quiet night in with some of the guys. Jeongin had just bought a projector, so the plan was to hook up Jisung's fancy laptop to it and set it up in your dorm. You would have gone to the guys dorm, except Minho's recent cooking escapade had not ended well, and he'd informed you that his dorm had smelt like rotting eggs for half the week. Decidedly, your dorm was the agreed upon source of comfort for the night.

Chan had some more meetings with some uni higher ups about charity week, so he'd bailed, and Changbin and Ryujin's awkward situation had caused him to give it a pass too. Seungmin said he'd be making an appearance after his classes. Since half of his double major was English, he attended lectures at your sister school, the mainstream Uni across the road, which meant his schedule was pretty jam packed.

That left Minho, Jisung, Hyunjin, Felix and Jeongin turning up at your doorstep holding various different items an hour after you'd gotten back to the dorm.

"What's all this?" You hear Chae ask as the raucous tumbles into your dorm. You make your way out of your bedroom to greet them, Ryujin following behind you after the two of you had scrolled on tik tok for the hour in between your meeting and now. The boys were all in their comfy clothes; hoodies and joggers, much like you girls.

"Jeongin's got the projector," Minho informs you as he gives you a smile and hands you a box. You'd barely seen him this week, since he was starting to skip classes more regularly. You were surprised he hadn't been reprimanded for it yet, but Minho somehow got away with anything and everything. "That's a cake."

"I've got snacks!" Felix says cheerily, showing you bundles of crisps and bags of chocolate in his arms.

"Why have you brought a cake?" You ask, smiling at your blonde headed friend as he sports his usual grin, turning back to Minho. He shrugs.

"It was my, 'I'm sorry your deep dark secret got posted on the internet, here's a cake' cake, but Minho and Felix somehow forgot that I don't like chocolate icing, so now you guys can eat my pity cake," Jisung explains, already flopping onto the sofa with his laptop, though he's smiling as he says it. He's received mostly praise and positivity over the internet recently, so he wasn't in all that of a bad mood about the whole ordeal.

Felix smiles sheepishly, dumping the snacks onto the table. The other guys start making themselves comfortable too, Hyunjin flashing you a grin as he flops down beside Jisung. Minho has to step in and help Jeongin set up the projector when Jeongin announces he actually has no idea how to work it, and it takes them a further twenty minutes to set the whole thing up.

You're not complaining though, since after a collective agreement to watch the second Shrek movie (arguably the best one), you're nestled in between Chaeryoung and Minho on the sofa with Ryujin between your knees on the floor.

Surprisingly, you all sit relatively in silence, save for some commentary throughout the movie. You pinned it down to the fact that everything surrounding your group had been nothing less than dramatic recently, and you could all use a chill night together to relax. Seungmin shows up halfway through the movie, taking a seat on the floor.

You're just about to choose a second movie to watch when Yuna and Lia turn up, their arms littered with shopping backs. Yuna sighs exasperatedly, dumping the bags on the ground when she comes in, whilst Lia says a hello to everyone before going into her room.

"Do the stores you went into have anything left in them?" Minho scoffs, raising a brow at his blonde haired friend. She sticks her tongue out at him. "But seriously, how much did you buy?"

"A lot," she replies, gleaming. You shake your head at her with a smile, loving her dramatics. She was an actress through and through. "The stores were giving today - I bought, like, twenty things in one shop alone."

Ryujin whistles, grabbing Yuna's bags and sifting through them. You were sure she'd give you a proper haul tomorrow. "This is some good shit," she says, nodding. "I'm so jealous, I wish I had money to splurge."

"What about the bee movie?" Jeongin interrupts absentmindedly, leaning over Jisung to watch him scroll on Netflix for a movie. Seungmin shakes his head, standing up to join them.

"We watched that last week, remember?" He says, and Jeongin nods with an 'ah'. Seungmin leans his hands on the side of the sofa before looking up at Yuna. "How do you even afford all that?"

Yuna shrugs, snatching the top that Ryujin was eyeing up and shoving it back in her bag. "Daddy's money. He's gonna cut me off soon though, I just know it."

"Your dad lets you buy all this?" Seungmin says, eyebrows raised. "Damn."

"He likes spending his money on me," she counters, collecting all her bags before making her way towards her bedroom. "I may as well take advantage, right?"

Seungmin rolls his eyes with a small smile as Jeongin points to the laptop screen. Hyunjin makes a face at you, mimicking Yuna and her shopping bags, and you can't help but to laugh with him.

"What's so funny?" Ryujin says to you curiously, turning to look up at you. You simply wave your hand in response, sharing another look with Hyunjin as if you two are in on some silly secret. It was as if you couldn't help yourself gravitate towards him recently.

"What about titanic?" Hyunjin perks up, looking towards Jisung. There's a collective squeal from you girls, and Yuna and Lia both thumbs up the movie as they join you, Yuna already having changed into her pajamas. They both squish up on the floor.

"Not happening," Jisung groans, and you remember how he'd told you it was the only movie that had ever successfully made him cry.

"Oh come on," Felix protests with a whine, finishing off a bag of gummies. "It's a phenomenal movie!"

"I'm in agreement with Jisung, here," Seungmin says, giving up on the movie search and slumping back to the ground. "It's so long."

"Yeah, but it's worth it," Chae tries to justify, pleading after having to put up with Shrek for an hour.

Hyunjin looks as you, as if he wants you to back him up, so you sigh in defeat. "It's one of my favourites," you say, feeling everyone's eyes turn to you. "Plus I'm injured. Injured girl rules all."

Jisung and Seungmin groan together, knowing they've been defeated as Jisung searches the movie and starts playing it. Yuna even goes as far as to turn off the lights, leaving the glare of the movie screen the only illumination in the room.

Three hours later, almost everyone is in tears after having sat through the movie in almost dead silence. The only noise that was heard from you was during the sex scene, when you laughed as Jisung attempted to cover Jeongin's eyes.

"It's so sad," Felix sniffles, wiping at his eyes with his hoodie sleeves when the credits roll. Yuna turns the lights on again, and turns to reveal her red puffy eyes. Ryujin laughs at her, but she's none better, tears practically streaming down her face. The only dry eyes in the room are Seungmin and Minho. Even Jeongin, who's always trying to keep up with a tough exterior has tear marks on his hoodie.

"Hyunjin, I hate you," Jisung bawls, unable to hold back his tears. "Do you enjoy making grown men cry?"

"Hey, I'm crying too!" Hyunjin defends himself, and when you look over his eyes are brimmed with tears. He wipes them away sheepishly as he smiles at you. You think it's so cute he gets so emotional at movies like this - you remember when you'd all gone to the cinema to watch something Felix suggested and he was sobbing beside you the whole way through. "Plus, you're hardly a grown man."

Jisung only scoffs in return, attempting to get his sniffles under control. "How are you two not crying?"

Minho and Seungmin turn to eachother, and Minho shrugs. "I've watched it a million times, I know the plot. Plus, when have you ever seen me cry?"

"True," you say, giving him a nudge with your shoulder. He chuckles at your tear stained cheeks and offers you his hoodie sleeve, which you take and use to wipe your eyes. "Seungmin? Jack Dawson's death didn't hit hard for you?"

He shakes his head with a brown, his dark brown hair flopping over his forehead. "Not really. Like Minho said, I know the plot, and it's expected."

"You're insane," Yuna gasps, unable to comprehend the fact that the saddest movie of all time hadn't been able to make him shed a tear. "You must be made of steel."

He only shrugs in response, standing up and stretching out his limbs. "Should probably head back; that movie went on for ages and I've got shit to do tomorrow."

That spurs a collective agreement from the guys, the ones on the floor repeating Seungmin's action. Jeongin shakes his legs out after having them cramped up to his chest to make room for Lia beside him. "It's a Saturday, have a rest."

Seungmin ignores the comment, picking up his jacket and putting it on. You stand up too to say your goodbyes to them, when Minho tugs at your arm.

"Help me up," he whines, so you pull him up with a roll of your eyes. You miss the way he winces as you do so, turning to give Felix a hug, the boy waiting patiently with his arms open.

"Why don't we go for coffee tomorrow?" He says when you hug him. "Dance crew study session, like the good old days?"

"I'd be up for that," you reply with a nod, since you hadn't had anything planned for tomorrow anyway. "We do have to have our ideas ready for our practical on Wednesday, so would be good."

"We do?" Minho questions with his arm slung round you as his goodbye, which makes Hyunjin laugh as he leaves his departing conversation with Yuna.

"Maybe you should start attending lectures," he says slyly, looking toward you with a smile after Minho rolls his eyes and removes his arm from your shoulder. Hyunjin steps towards you, bringing you into his chest momentarily. You're slightly startled by the action, since Hyunjin is never really physically affectionate with you like Felix or Minho are, but you accept the hug. Everyone else was hugging goodbye, anyway.

"Maybe you should hop off my dick," Minho retorts, sticking out his tongue as Hyunjin pulls away and picks up his jacket.

"Gross," Jeongin gags.

You shake your head, laughing, in an attempt to ignore the butterflies forming in your stomach. "So, study date tomorrow?"

"Sure," Hyunjin confirms, looking over to Chaeryoung who turns away from saying goodbye to Seungmin to give a thumbs up.

"I could use it," Minho admits, and Felix claps his hands.

"Great! Aw, we're getting the old gang back together!" He smiles, and he's so happy that you don't tell him your 'gang' talks regularly on your dance group chat and is with each other almost every day.

The guys all head off then, leaving the five of you girls alone with a pile of sweets and crisp packets strewn everywhere and a half eaten cake on your table. You start cleaning up instantly, not wanting to have to deal with it later.

"So," Ryujin says, slyly coming up to you and nudging your shoulder before starting to pick up the mess. The other girls begin helping too. "Mr Hwang hugging you goodbye? Now that's an unforeseen action if I've ever seen one."

You give her a look, but your facade cracks when you can't help but to sigh with a smile. "Am I reading into that too much? Or was that a moment."

"That was most definitely a moment," Ryujin confirms, taking the trash bag Lia hands her with a smile and starting to dump the rubbish into it. "He didn't hug any of us goodbye."

You smile inwardly, unable to help yourself. You wait until Lia is back in the kitchen before you say, “Is it bad that I kind of like him?”

Ryujin laughs - a loud, bent over hysterical laugh as you watch her with raised eyebrows. She steadies herself with a hand against the arm of the sofa as Chaeryoung comes through at the noise.

“What on earth is all that about?” She questions, clearly fed up with cleaning as she flops onto the sofa and puts her fear up on the table.

“She’s finally admitted she’s got feelings for Hyunjin,” Ryujin says, grinning at Chae like a mad woman.

Chaeryoung’s eyes visibly light up, and she turns to you with a smile. “You’re kidding!”

“I never said I have feelings for him,” you point out, though it’s futile at this point since your two friends are squealing together. Shaking your head at them, you finish clearing the last of the trash up.

“We called it months ago,” Chaeryoung sighs, a glazed look in her eyes. She pulls her long dark hair behind her ears. “I like to think this is all because of me.”

“It kinda is,” Ryujin responds, moving the trash bag so you can dump the remanence into it. “You cracked the surface, and they did the rest.”

“Can we stop talking like we’re in a movie, please,” you groan, flopping down beside Chae and letting Ryujin dispose of the trash bag. “I can’t believe I actually probably like Hyunjin. Past me would piss herself.”

“That she would!” You hear Ryujin shout through from the kitchen, followed by audible confusion from Yuna and Lia.

“He definitely likes you back, anyway,” Chae sighs excitedly, clapping her hands. “It’s so obvious. When are you gonna tell him?”

“Woah woah,” you say, putting your hands up. Chae frowns at you. “We literally just reconciled our differences a couple weeks ago - let’s not move too fast here.”

“Well you need to tell him,” Ryujin says blatantly when she returns to the room, standing with her hand on her hip. “Or else we’re gonna have to watch him pine after you all semester.”

You roll your eyes at her. “He does not pine after me, Jesus,” you say, though you watch your friends share an obvious look. “I’m just gonna see how things go for now, and if I’m still feeling this way in a couple weeks then I’ll think about telling him.”

Ryujin and Chaeryoung groan simultaneously, Ryujin throwing up her hands exasperatedly. “We finally get a bit of drama that doesn’t make me want to cry and you’re not even gonna indulge us?”

“Charity week,” Chaeryoung says with a shrug, making you both turn to her. “It’s two weeks away - if you still think you like him, that’s your deadline for telling him.”

“I have a deadline now?” You stress, thinking about how you’d only started to realise your feelings towards Hyunjin yourself not half an hour ago. Chae nods decisively.

“It’s the perfect time. There’s always the big party at the outdoor auditorium at the end of the week with fireworks and stuff - how romantic would it be to declare you feelings then?” She gushes, clasping her hands in front of her chest. Ryujin turns to you with a crazed look, nodding.

“She’s so right. Plus, if my relationship scenario is a shit show, I want to live vicariously through you,” she smiles.

You tilt your head at her, thinking about what she’s told you about her conversation with Changbin the other day. “I thought you said you were on good terms now?”

“Yeah we are, but this whole ‘just being friends’ kind of sucks. If he wasn’t all over the place right now I’d be with him. I dunno, I just…feel like I need someone right now, but he just can’t be that person,” you nod, placing a hand on her knee to comfort her.

“I’m glad you’re mature enough to understand that,” you say honestly, Chae nodding her head. Ryujin had always been such an independent person - her self sufficience and bold personality having slightly intimidated you when you’d first met her. After the shit show that was last semester, you’d seen her demeanour crack, and you’d sworn to yourself to try and not let that happen again.

“It will be so much better for you in the long run to have some time apart. You still like each other, you still want to be together, just not right now,” Chaeryoung says with a sad smile, resting her head on Ryujin’s shoulder momentarily. “Right person, wrong time.”

“I guess,” Ryujin sighs. “Doesn’t suck any less though. You know what we should do next weekend? Clubbing.”

You instantly groan at the idea, knowing clubbing was not your scene these days. Your group used to go clubbing regularly, but you’d decided the late nights and hangovers were just not worth it anymore. You would, however, indulge your sad friend if she needed you too.

“Fine,” you say after a second, which makes Ryujin smile. Chaeryoung agrees too, and after finishing your talk with the other girls when they come through to join you, you all go your separate ways and head to sleep.

The next morning, you wake up at a surprisingly reasonable time, the sound of Yuna practicing lines making you stir. She’s up earlier than you, for once, which is rare for her, but you knew she had auditions for the end of year show coming up soon, so she’d been practicing lines non stop.

You’re just about to grab your phone to check your messages when you hear her scream. It startles you, causing you to practically jump out your skin and rush through to her room. Lia is right there with you, sharing a panicked look as you both burst through the door, staring at the back of Yuna’s head.

“What the hell?” Ryujin says groggily, walking through in nothing but her underwear from the sudden commotion. Chaeryoung follows shortly after, her hair a riot and having obviously just woken up. You all crowd round Yuna who’s on her phone, watching her slowly turn around you with the colour drained from her face.

Chills run down your spine when she days, “That Twitter page posted about me.”

tag list

@cursed-mars-bars @https-skzology @imasimplol @hyunverse @aestaeticous @dorisnumber1fan @tasteskz-sword @amnmich @detectivedoodle @amara-mars @end0rchans @raresevng @thementallyunhinged @nhyun @lixie-phoria @llavendarlilacc

[writingpei]

lee know | 리노: fake relationship

tw: graphic descriptions of being stalked, physical abuse and trauma response

your job was driving you absolutely nuts.

it was tiring, consuming, far away and paid the absolute necessary for the rent of the small apartment you lived. taking several subways and walking a few blocks to reach the comfort of your home was not at all satisfying, the only thing that encouraged you to continue every day was the envelope stuffed with money that arrived at the end of each month and made it possible for you to survive in the big city.

life at the office had always been unpleasant, but now everything was stranger, a tense atmosphere hovering over your head that became more and more present. you felt like someone was watching you from afar, yet when your eyes ran across the room in search of the culprint, it was always a dead end, seeing nothing but the usual, but the feeling hammering in your head incessantly even so. maybe you really were going crazy.

this feeling lasted for weeks, until one fateful day. you were getting coffee from the pot for your boss, when innervation creeped through your body as it had many times before, a chill that crept up slowly like a snake up your neck. the only difference is that this time you caught him.

a tall young man wearing a well-seated suit stared at you from behind a wall, eyes glazed, searing your flesh. the shiver ran all over your body and the hand pouring the coffee into the "#1 boss" mug shook, spilling the hot liquid onto your hand. this caught the attention of the man, who walked quickly but calculatedly towards you, throwing an apologetic smile that crept across his face as if he didn't know how to smile and was copying someone he had seen do it.

"is everything okay? was it too hot?" he asked, and you took a step back on instinct.

"um... yes it is. it was just an accident" you answer quietly, still not daring to take your eyes off him, ready for the next reaction he might have. there was something really weird about this guy, but you couldn't put your finger on what it was.

"one second" he asks, but you just wanted to disappear from there. every second dragged by like hours and you were already scared enough. he reaches into his blazer pocket and pulls out an elegant white cloth that has probably never been worn before.

"here, clean yourself up" he held out the cloth and you just looked at him hesitantly. "take it" he says, losing the smile on his face and his voice becoming more commanding, his gaze darkening.

this time you catch it quickly hoping he'll leave you alone as soon as he does, but you were completely wrong. after drying off and running to your boss's office, hoping you'd never have to meet him again, you were just choosing to believe a comfortable outcome. what happened, unfortunately for you, was the opposite.

resigning was almost like a death sentence, you wouldn't manage to get a decent job in a long time and you wouldn't be able to pay your bills. at that moment, you just didn't know which was worse, to go or to stay. the only fear that compared with what you felt for him was the fear of reporting him to the company. he had technically never done anything to you and getting scrutinized and fired for misconduct in the workspace would forever tarnish your resume.

now it was impossible for you not to notice him everywhere, lifeless eyes traveling through the rooms always looking for you, the icy sensation that lurked through your soul every time you were in the same environment as him. you avoided him whenever you could, you only dare to leave your desk when he went to the bathroom, or when you needed to go to your boss's office you ran before he had the chance to get up and chase after you.

the tension just built over time and he took your evasion strategies with some humor, as if it were a game and you were playing hard to get. because of that, one day when you were asked to print some papers in the company's printer room, you knew you were fucked. it was in a very secluded place at the end of a corridor and was rarely frequented. your fake smile fell off your face dramatically when your boss gave you the order, but you just sucked it in and grabbed the pendrive he held out to you. maybe if you were discreet enough you could go unnoticed, but it was too optimistic a thought for the situation. the guy was a creep and was on your tail, he would be alert as soon as he noticed your empty table in the middle of so many others.

you made your way very cautiously, however much your hands were shaking and your breathing was uneven. the endless hallway was clear and you took long strides until you reached the little door at the end of it. if you were fast enough he might not even notice it in time.

you set to print the pages, looking around incessantly as if he would magically appear out of thin air. "hurry up, please" you whispered to the printer, praying that it would be quick.

you thought you were going to die when it made a choking noise out of nowhere, and then a second later it stopped printing one of the sheets in the middle. "no" you blurted out in desperation, slapping the machine in hopes of getting it working again, but it was still stuck. "no, don't go stuck on me" your hands were shaking more than ever, and in the middle of your heavy breathing, footsteps reached your ear.

"finally a chance to talk to you" and your spine froze. you could hear the creepy fake smile in his voice and his slow, hard steps coming towards you.

"the printer broke, I need to tell someone to fix it" you say and try to circle him to leave the room but he is impassive and stands in front of you, towering over. the proximity terrifies you and you're sure you'll have nightmares about the face he gives you. you take a quick step back in an attempt to put some distance between the two of you and he takes advantage of the act, taking one in your direction for each one you take to move away.

"no" he says coldly, losing the good guy posture he tries so hard to display. "now you're going to talk to me, you've run away from me too much" you wanted to throw up. "when are you going to go out with me?"

when he says that, a different smile blooms on his face, and you're sure it's his natural one, because it's brutal and terrifying.

"i can't" you manage to get out somehow.

"and now, why couldn't you?" he just smiles wider and shows his teeth more. "you will go out with me"

he takes another step towards you, and you don't know if it's just your head making you hallucinate or if it's the universe working in your favor, but you can see someone entering the room behind his shoulder.

a man with dark hair and white shirt sleeves with sleeves enters the scene, a folder full of papers catching the attention of his eyes and he takes a few seconds to look forward and see the situation that displays itself.

when he does, his eyes are intense and travel from the creep to you slowly, trying to read the room.

you waste no time running to him and hiding behind his arm, relieving yourself slightly by the distance created and the presence of another individual in the room. "i can't go out with you because i'm dating him" you lie, but your desperation makes your voice sound believable, and to add to that, you shyly hold the unknown man's arm with both hands. he's reluctant and looks at you in shock quickly, but something in his eyes makes it look like he understands what's going on and his muscle relaxes under your touch.

"bullshit, you don't date this guy" the creep seems to lose his cool with your attitude, nostrils flaring and eyes widening hideously.

"how do you know?" the man beside you asked in a completely calm voice, and it was your turn to be surprised.

your savior speaking directly to the creep only seemed to make him even more enraged, and the horrible eyes were glued to yours again.

"i've never seen you two talk, stop lying" he says.

"i..." you start to speak but your words are forced out of your mouth and your hands start to shake against the stranger's skin. "i..."

"i like to keep things professional in the work environment, so we don't interact here" he answers for you, tranquility intact. the creep was still fuming, terrifying eyes growing wider. he walks towards you aggressively, steps no longer calculated and silent, full of hate and nerve. when he gets close enough to hurt you, you close your eyes expecting the worst, but only feel your body being pushed slightly.

when you open your eyes you are facing the back of the unknown man's neck, who placed himself between you and the creep, and the protection of your field of vision that he provides preventing you from seeing the other man brings a coolness to your body.

"hey, hey, what are you doing man?" he says to the man you can't see. "get out of here before I call security, are you insane?"

now the stranger seems to have lost some of his temper too, and after a few seconds of silence, you hear quick footsteps leave the room and walk down the hall into complete silence.

you fail to let go of the man's arm at first, taking time to regain a controlled breath. when the oddly gentle feel of your skin against his is lost and you step back and lean against the wall to maintain the balance that your feet alone cannot give you he turns towards you, eyes still intense and calm.

"has this ever happened?" he asks but you're still recovering, eyes scanning his face warily, traveling from the bridge of his nose to his pale cheeks.

"what is your name?" you ask out of nowhere.

"minho. has this happened before or is this the first time?" he asks once more, not backing down.

"well minho, you just saved my life" you say. "it's not the first time, my life has been hell for weeks"

pushing yourself away from the wall, you take short steps to the damn printer, tearing off the half-printed paper, crumpling it up and throwing it away.

"you never reported him?" he asks behind your back and you just give a humorless laugh.

he seems to understand what your sarcasm means, and just walks closer as you try one more time to print your boss's stuff.

the printer gets stuck again and the strange noises start once more. even being watched by minho, you don't feel even an ounce of the fear you felt in the creep's presence.

"fucking hell" you whisper frustratedly seeing your work fail once more, and your trembling hands cover your eyes. it feels like the weight of what happened finally catches up with you and your eyes start to get wet behind your palms.

"hey, he is already gone, it's okay" minho says reluctantly in an attempt to comfort you, but the tears won't stop, and soon you're sobbing. at no time does he leave you alone, the low but constantly present sound of his breathing gives you security.

"listen..." minho speaks softly and his hand touches your shoulder with the weight of a feather, as if you would break easily with a slightly rougher touch. after a few seconds you take your hands off your face, wiping the tears in the process and looking at him with glossy eyes. "what do you think about going home for now? i'll talk to the boss, i'll tell you that you felt sick and had to go home" he suggests, his voice velvety and sweet as if he were talking to a crying child.

the idea of ​​going home was too enticing, even more so the possibility of hiding under the safety of your blankets. however "i don't want him to follow me home" you say, real fear clouding your voice.

"don't worry about it" he says genuinely, hand still on your shoulder. "he won't leave the office. not with me here"

"really?" you ask, hope rising in you.

"really" he confirms. you walk side by side to your desk, where you collect all your belongings. the creep’s gaze burns your skin, and you're terrified now that you've made him angry. if before you were scared of him without having done anything to put you on his bad side, now things were much more serious.

minho takes you to the building’s entrance and you feel safe enough.

"minho" you call him when he is already going back inside the building. "thank you so much for what you did for me today, you really saved my life" you say in genuine gratitude.

he looks into your eyes for a few seconds, and a small gentle smile appears on his face. how could you never have noticed him before in the sea of ​​white desks and dreary work light? "no need to thank me"

going back to work the next day was the source of all your despair. you were right, you had a nightmare about the ugly, scary face of the man who was always in your tracks, keeping an eye out for you, making you wake up with sweat running down your neck in fear. you were lucky that minho interfered in the situation, but perhaps that luck has run out and you have no way to escape.

the subway ride to the company building progressively made your hands shake more and more, and as you rode the elevator up to your floor you were already feeling dizzy.

however, what surprises you is that the lady who sat at the table next to yours and spent all day playing card games on the computer was no longer there, and in her place, minho sat comfortably as if that spot had always been his.

"minho?" you asked confused standing in front of him.

"oh hey" his attention is shifted to you, eyes kind and cool. "I asked to change desk. I needed to change up a little bit" he says and you sit at your own table.

now it was minho who wouldn't let go of you. whenever you went to lunch he would come along and sit next to you at your table. when you had to get coffee for your boss he always followed in your footsteps with the excuse of needing to stretch his legs a little.

being close with him, even if suddenly and under less than ideal circumstances, made your life at work bearable. you still felt the man's presence across the room, you still felt the sting of his hateful gaze on your skin, but now with minho's presence you felt constant security.

before long he was dropping you off too, walking you on the subway and walking hip to hip with you through blocks until you were safe and sound on your doorstep, telling you about sooni, doongi and dori along the way.

the nightmares have not ceased, quite the contrary, they have become more and more present as if your brain were playing a mean trick on you, abusing your limits. none, however, had been as bad as this one.

you wake up exasperated, sweat making your skin sticky. your chest rises and falls incessantly in ragged breathing. you count to 10 hoping to calm down but you can't. no light you turn on in the small apartment reassures you. it's 2 am and you don't want to disturb minho and wake him up, but your body aches for the comfort and security he provides, the tranquility of the beautiful voice that comes from his rosy lips. you don’t think you'll ever feel calm again without his presence, and it's driving you crazy.

in an act of pure selfishness, you open the messaging app and your fingers flick across your phone's keyboard fast.

you:

minho, are you up?

and so you wait, looking hopefully at the stalled chat, praying that he responds, that he gives you the relief of his presence, the joy of his attention. just as you start to lose hope that he's going to respond, a chat bubble appears in your view, and you can't ignore the way your heart races against your chest.

minho:

now i am

everything good?

you:

i had a bad nightmare

it's stupid, sorry to disturb you

i'll buy you the next lunch to make up for it

a minute goes by, then two, and you start to get scared that he's upset with you. you're regretting doing it in the first place in a spiral of overthinking when your phone starts ringing in your hand. minho is calling you, and you hesitate a little before answering. maybe he would scold you for your selfishness, waking him up late at night for something so silly.

"don't think about it" when you accept the phone call, the only thing that reaches your ears is his groggy voice, tainted with sleep. "don't think about the nightmare, everything’s alright, i’m here with you"

and then you can breathe again.

you no longer think about the nightmare, now your mind is intoxicated by his presence, which fills your head so intensely that it leaves no room for anything else. that's why you blurt out "talk to me, minho" after seconds of comfortable silence.

"what do you want me to talk about?" he asks softly.

"anything. let me hear you, please" you ask softly, cheeks reddening, ashamed of your own attitude.

"doongi slept on top of the fridge today" he starts to tell, giggling softly. "i was looking all over the house for an hour for him, i was going crazy thinking he got out somehow and got lost in the street, but the little bastard was just taking a nap up there. i don't even know how he managed to get there"

you laugh at the story but mostly at his dazed voice, the intimacy of the whispers in the middle of the night bringing a rush of heat through your body.

"now you speak" he asked, voice low but gentle, always careful with you.

"i have nothing to say" you admit, the only thing on your mind right now was him, and it would be weird for you to say out loud how much you'd like to be consumed by his velvet voice and perfume with a hint of vanilla that he wore over his dress shirt every day.

"what time is it now?" he asks.

"2:36 am"

"what color pajamas are you wearing?"

"gray"

"do you prefer strawberry or peaches?"

"peaches. why are you asking me so many things?" it's your turn to question, genuinely confused.

"i want to hear your voice too" he replies like it's obvious and you're grateful you're not face to face with him, because your mouth opens in surprise and your cheeks heat up in seconds.

"that was smooth, minho" you whisper humorously after a few seconds of silence, recovering from what he said.

"i know" he laughs softly. "is it working?"

and the shy, silent voices stretch out into the night, the stars dripping from the sky until the two of you fall asleep in each other's presence, unfinished call, synchronized breaths until the morning of the next day.

for the first time you don't feel apprehensive about going to work, instead it's an excitement that creeps up your body and overwhelms your mind. you feel like a teenager going to see your crush at school all over again.

and when he flashes a boyish smile when he sees you arriving at your table next to his, you feel your legs turning to jelly and butterflies in your stomach.

the day goes on as usual, lunch, coffee, trip together to the printer. you take any opportunity to touch him, his skin soft like you never expected anyone's skin to be. it was as if it was forbidden to have him in your hands and you would soon be expelled from the garden of eden for wanting what is not yours, but his presence, now more physical than ever, was too good to let slip through your fingers.

at some point in the day he gets more tense and you don't understand why until he turns to you out of nowhere, puts his hands on your swivel chair and turns you completely towards him. you blink a few times in confusion.

"listen" he begins, not letting go of his chair and keeping you in place. "a meeting of mine was rescheduled for tonight, a little later than your leaving time. will you wait for me here so i can take you home?"

“yeah” you respond. you would wait for him anywhere, anytime. “yeah, of course. i’ll wait here” and he smiles at you, that one smile that you like oh so much.

minho promised that it wouldn't be long, and when the time for the meeting arrives, you keep working ahead of the next day's tasks.

as time goes on you grow more and more wary, it's late and people are starting to go home, the big room emptying out fast, faster than you expected it would.

the feeling that you haven't felt for some time now began to make itself present, raising the hairs on the back of your neck. you look around and just feel a rising panic when you don't see anyone else at the tables around you, and you're terrified to look back and just see him. the one you've avoided all this time by hiding in minho's comfortable, safe shadow.

as if you were trapped in one of your nightmares, the sound of footsteps you know so well starts to sound like a flashback. this time you get up from the table and go in the opposite direction of the sound, through the labyrinth of empty tables. he starts to speed up behind you but you don't dare look back, you don't think you could stand the sight of the man once again so close to you.

your skin turns cold when you feel his hand gripping your shoulder like a claw and pushing you up an empty table, the touch full of aggression that was starkly different from the tender touch that minho had always spared you.

you instinctively lower your head to not look at him and it seems to burn something inside the man, because his calloused hand comes up to your jaw and forces you to look at him, another hand gripping your arm so hard you're sure you'll stay with bruises.

no physical pain in that moment was as unbearable as the sight of his face. he was possessed, eyes hungry and wide like a maniac. you were frightened, eyes filling with tears from the fear of what might happen. you were completely alone and it was the perfect situation for him, you were in the palm of his hand and nothing could stop that.

"please don't hurt me" you beg in a whisper, tears streaming down your eyes. his fingers just press deeper into your cheeks and he breaks into a cruel, transfigured smile.

"too late for that isn't it?" and you shake your head, sobs rising desperately in your throat. "you pissed me off!" he screams in your face and you squeeze your eyes shut. "you walk around this office practically begging me to pay attention to you, and when I do you embarrass me like that?!"

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry…" you whisper with your eyes still closed, begging him to let you go.

"now you apologize, don't you?" he says, hand going up your arm to your shoulder and shaking you hard. "i already told you, it's too late for this" you can't feel your cheeks anymore from the way he pinches them with his fingers, and you try to focus your brain on asking the universe to get minho out of the meeting, that somehow he realizes something is wrong and he comes to you. the tears don't stop flowing and you couldn't get him off you even if you wanted to. his grip is deadly on your skin.

"get your fucking hands off" the voice of the one you wanted the most makes you cry even more.

the man in front of him looks back quickly, strength in his hands diminishing in surprise. you take advantage of the seconds you have and use all the strength in your body to push him away, making him fall on the desk that was behind him the same way he did with you.

you immediately run to minho's side and up close, you can see the concern in his eyes. he holds you by the shoulders gently, creating a palpable discrepancy in how he touches you and how the man behind you has hurt you. "are you okay? your face is all red" he says, examining you closely, noting the fingerprints that smudged your face.

"i..." you started but turned back to look at the creep that was getting back on his feet. you take a step back in fear and your back collides with minho's and he steps in front of you the same way he did the first time you met.

minho however stands still, just looking from the man to you, from you to the man. after a few seconds he takes your hand and quickly pulls you towards the exit of the building at a speed so that the creep does not follow you.

"minho, where are we going?" you ask looking back constantly in fear of him just appearing out of nowhere behind you.

"my house" he answers firmly, and the path is silent. he sits next to you on the

empty wagon of the subway, hands holding your hurt arm tainted with the grip marks and wipes your tears with the tips of his fingers.

"I'm sorry" he says, sadness apparent in his voice. "I should have known, it's my fault. I'm sorry"

you approach him, touching your foreheads in confidentiality.

"I trust you" you say in a low but sincere voice. "it's not your fault, you always did your best for me. I trust you more than anyone"

minho's apartment was as small as yours, but in his there are three pairs of curious eyes that look at you suspiciously from afar while you are sitting on the minho mattress and he dips in the closet for something of his for you to use to sleep. sooni doongi and dori are as cute as they seem through his stories.

“here” he gives you a pair of clothes for you to feel more comfortable. “i’m going to be sleeping in the couch, you can sleep here” he points to his bed and quickly turns to walk away.

"um, minho" you call, feeling bad for making him sleep out of his own bed. "you can sleep here if you want, it's yours"

"oh" he opens his mouth a little but then shakes his hands in front of him dismissing himself. "the couch is comfortable, you don't have to worry, just rest" and he turns once again. tired of it, you get up and take it by the wrist lightly, turning him to you.

"minho, i want you to stay here with me. i want you to sleep by my side" you force yourself to admit. he widens his eyes slightly looking at you. the proximity between your faces is accentuated, you can feel his breath on your skin and this causes chills in your spine, your cheeks blushing by sudden sincerity.

this was arguably one of the worst days of your entire life, when the words simply come out as you plead for his presence you can't hold them back. you need him, the warmth and affection he provides, his heart of gold. only he can make you feel safe, and if you have the opportunity to drown in his arms that night you will take advantage of it. that’s why when he quietly asks “do you really want me?” you don’t hesitate in answering “more than anything”

when he lies in front of you on the mattress, you would think you were dreaming if it weren't for the pains in your skin that brought you to the real world. at first it's quiet, but his fingertips meet yours, and timidly his skins leans more and more on yours until he is holding your hand in the dark. his other hand makes a path like a snake and curls slightly around your waist, pulling you close, the heat you wanted, the intimacy that warms your heart so much. you fall asleep quickly, intoxicated by his presence, so close.

waking up the next day, you feel something hairy under the palm of your hand. strangely, you raise your head lightly and see that the place where minho was the night before is taken by three beasts, all in a deep sleep, webbed in your body.

"they like you already" you hear coming from the door. minho enters looking like he came from the street, his elegant clothes hugging his body.

“where were you?” you sit up, looking at him.

"in the company" he sits on the mattress right next to him, and his heart beats faster by the recovered contact, the heat that comes from him. "I'm friends with one of the security guys, he got me the video of what happened yesterday. i've already stopped at the police station too..." he says.

“you what?” you ask dumbfounded.

“he’s going to jail” he says and puts his hands on your cheeks. “you don’t have to worry about him anymore. he’s gone, it’s okay, i’m right here”

“minho, i…” you couldn’t take your eyes off of his even if you wanted to, those pretty eyes that pierced through your soul making you weak in the knees. “i can’t take you enough, i…”

“hey, it’s alright” he interrupts you. he breaks the eye contact and takes a glance at the way you look wearing his clothes. “now that i’m really looking at you, i really, really wish you could stay”

“stay? stay how?” you ask.

“stay with me, here. i really like seeing you first thing in the morning” he says.

your eyes travel to his lips, enjoying the warmth of his palms against your cheeks.

“i…” you begin, not being able to refrain from touching your noses, getting as close as ever. “i would really like that”

he smiles, getting even more close, lips barely touching.

“come on, give me a kiss” he whispers and you can feel the vibration in your own lips.

you waste no time in sealing your lips together, laying all your love on him.

skz as romantic tropes masterlist

[starrylevi]

Ex-Situationship contacts you but now you’re in a committed relationship w/ Levi

----

“He’s texting you?

“Right!? It’s been like 7 months, and now he wants to see me.”

“Hm.” Levi’s expression is unreadable. “So, what are you planning on doing?”

You stare at Levi incredulously. “I’m definitely not going to see him.”

“Why not?” He quips.

“Do you think I should?”

“I think you should do whatever your heart desires.” He shrugs. “However, if you do choose to see him, I’m coming.”

“Oh yeah?” You cock an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me like that. I don’t trust him. I’ll wait in the car.”

You nod. “Naturally.”

“Yes, naturally.”

*

Levi watches as you talk to this past “ex”. Tch. He wasn’t even an ex, you guys weren’t even in a committed relationship, the dumbass. But it worked out because it led you to him. He remembers the first time he met you, bumping into you at the nearby Starbucks. You had a coffee in one hand, and he had a green tea in his. The only reason he was in a Starbucks in the first place was because there weren’t any tea shops nearby, so he had to make do. He’s glad he did. He’ll never forget how you spilled some of it on him. Looking back if it had been any other human being, he probably would have cursed them out. But it was you, with your wide and pretty colored eyes, and the apologies tumbling out of your mouth as you tried, miserably, to wipe off his black coat.

“Let me buy you tea or a new coat”. He would have chuckled but you looked so terrified and he didn’t want to scare you off with his strangeness.

“It’s okay.” It wasn’t. “I honestly don’t like the tea here much anyway.” That was true.

But you were so adamant. “No, it’s not okay!” You frowned. “It’s such a nice coat too.” You whined.

Now that made him chuckle. “I can clean it.” He definitely will. He’s never met someone who gets so stressed out so easily. It was kind of cute.

“Then can I buy you another drink or something else? Anything.” He could sense you weren’t going to let up, and to be quite honest, he didn’t want you to. He still doesn’t know if it was your smile or the way you talked, but he wanted to get to know you more, and that’s rare for him.

“I mean, uh,” Shit, now he was nervous. “There’s a bar across the street. You can buy me a drink there.” That was forward. He didn’t know where it came from.

You looked surprised yourself but smiled, nonetheless. “I mean, sure! If that’s what you want. What do you drink?”

“Whiskey.”

“You look like you drink whiskey.”

“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult.”

“Oh my god, no, it’s a compliment!” You looked horrified for a second but quickly pulled yourself together. “Whiskey is classy. You look classy.”  

He found you absolutely adorable.

He truly doesn’t know how this guy let you get away. Levi shakes his head to himself. It looked like the conversation was going well so far but you were sweet so he couldn’t see it going any other way. He hoped it wouldn’t go sideways because then he would have to intervene. He had no problem doing so but he knew you would be embarrassed if it came to that. You knew he would do anything for you.

After about ten minutes or so, you got back into the car.

“You gave him a lot more time than he deserved.” He remarked as you got comfortable in the passenger seat. “How was it?”

You shrug, looking ahead through the dashboard window. “It was fine.”

“Good. What did he want?”

“He wanted to try again.” You state, nonchalant. “And I said yes.” This time you look directly at him.

He knew you were joking so he wouldn’t give you the satisfaction of seeing him slip. “Oh?” Is all he responded with. He wanted to see how far you would take it.

He almost smirks when you smile shyly. Of course you wouldn’t be able to hold out for long. “Naturally I said no.”

“Good girl.” He plants a soft kiss on your cheek before starting the car.

“Y’know, you could have at least acted like I was telling the truth.” You tease.

“I don’t act.” He states as he pulls off from the parking spot. “Besides, it’s hard to act with a bad liar.”

You fake gasp.

He chuckles, shaking his head to himself as he places delicate hand on your thigh; he squeezes it reassuringly. “Love you, brat.”

[agroupiewhore]

Hi everyone,

Here is my newest imagine with Matías Recalt, can't really think of any warnings besides making out etc (PG-13). I love the LSDLN fandom so much.

I apologise for any mistakes in my writing or grammar (I left school at 16 to go and work in a coffee shop where I didn't really need to do much penmanship and I was never good at English) I really want this to be perfect as I love writing and haven't in ages. Please leave me comments/ questions/ concerns and ofcourse constructive criticism. If people do like this alot and maybe want a part 2 I'd consider it, I am not sure but I do know I am enjoying writing again.

Sorry for the long introduction.

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

The Beach Run

"It's getting kind of late don't you think?" You rolled over onto your front and sat up onto your knees. "We should probably get back". Matías propped himself up onto his elbows and admired you.

"Sorry, what were you saying? There's a goddess in front of me, so it's a little hard to pay attention right now" he said, smirking.

"O my god." You laughed and blushed hard. Thank god it was getting dark. "You are another level you know?"

"Oh I know." He smirked again, sitting up and kissing you gently. "So what's it like being down here with us mere mortals?"

"Matías, please mi amor." You said kissing his soft cheeks. "It's getting dark, come on".

"Are you scared of the dark?" He asked, staring up at you with his dark eyes.

"Ofcourse not!" You replied, brushing some sand off yourself. You leaned forward to grab a few of the empty beer bottles around your towel. Matías admired you and fiddled with his ring.

"Babe, I have an idea." He said, smiling. "Please, it's a good one this time."

You laughed.

"I hope so." You replied, stroking his cheek. His last great date idea was to play sandwich roulette. It essentially involved choosing any random ingredients and food you two could find in the kitchen and throwing it into a sandwich. You didn't think you'd ever be able to get the taste of lettuce, mustard and onion out of your mouth. Even his cat didn't want any of the leftovers.

"No it really is this time, I promise." He smiled and kissed your neck. How could you resist? His smile was infectious.

"Okay, okay, tell me what we're gonna do." You said.

"Well ,first, we can tidy and all, so we're ready to head back as soon as we can." He said, putting some of the leftover food back into the picnic basket. You assisted in tidying and soon were all packed up.

"Now what?" You asked as you looked over at him. Matías said nothing as he got up to his feet and began undressing.

"No way! No, someone might see us." You said, admiring your perfect boyfriend. "Babe?!"

"No one is going to see us ,and it's pitch black anyway, so come on." He answered leaning down to kiss you tenderly. "I'll keep you safe, I promise." You pondered his request for a moment before smiling and taking off your bikini. Thank god it was pitch black so no one could see how hard you were blushing. You giggled as his long eyelashes tickled your face. He pulled away, took your hand and kissed it.

"Let's go swimming!" He said, and he took off in the direction of the sea.

"Matías! Matías!" You cried, holding onto his hand for dear life. "We can't do this, oh my god!" You laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. The two of you naked in the sea splashing each other. This was the level of joy you wanted to feel for the rest of your life. You could just about make out his silhouette in the darkness. The sea wasn't particularly cold, thankfully, and the two of you continued your water fight and swam a little bit of the way out. You embraced one another and began making out in the middle of the ocean.

"You are so perfect." Matías said, as he pushed some strands of wet hair out of your face. He touched your silver pendant, which he had given you as a gift before going off to film. He had a matching one also, and both of you had made a promise to never take it off. Whilst he was filming, it was hard to not miss him or feel alone at times despite the video calls and how often he messaged you. You had both agreed that when you both couldn't take the loneliness, all you had to do was hold onto the pendemant, squeeze it tightly, and think of being together.

"I love you so much." You said as you stroked his cheek with your thumb. "Te amo mucho."

"Que hermosa." He whispered back as he pressed tiny kisses on your neck. You remained enveloped in one another's pure adoration in the ocean for sometime.

"Well... we should probably get back... maybe." You giggled. "You're going to be all salty!" Matías kissed the tip of your nose.

"Race you!" He cried out before starting to front crawl back to the shore "Loser does the dishes!"

"O my god, you asshole!" You cried out before swimming after him. Naturally, he won thanks to his headstart.

"Going to make sure we cook the absolute messiest dinner tomorrow, babe." He said, smiling as he took your hand in his.

"Yeah, yeah." You replied shaking your head and rolling your eyes. It was impossible not to adore his shit eating grin. You lightly nudged him.

"Erm... babe." Matías said, looking out at the sand "Where's our stuff?" You looked up across the beach, when you had run into the ocean it obviously hadn't been in a straight line, and then swimming out and being pushed by the tide had led you back to a different spot.

"A good idea, huh?" You said, looking at him then promptly bursting out laughing. He blushed slightly and began laughing as well.

"I promise you can pick every date activity from now on." He said, laughing harder.

"This is still better than sandwich roulette." You answered as the two of you began walking in what you hoped was the right direction.

[red-airhead]

| Love you too | Lee Felix |

word count - 399

drabble

genre - Romance, Fluff

warnings - idol!felix afab!reader, feminine terms, gentle love, admiration, traumatic experiences, reader is non-verbal, reader speaks for the first time in years, felix being patient, readers POV, lmk if I missed anything

It's really short and simple but it's all I had in mind-

Dating an Idol was hard, especially when being non-verbal and not being able to express how I truly felt about him. It felt really embarrassing to know that all these fans could express how they felt safe around them but I couldn’t say a single thing. 

I didn’t choose to be this way,, well I did, but ever since I stopped talking I just couldn’t find it in myself to speak again. After being bullied in elementary school for being constantly loud and expressive, I decided that once middle school had hit that I would stop talking officially. 

On a lot of my school paperwork I made sure it was listed I was non-verbal, just so teachers wouldn’t get mad if I spoke. Because of that though, I was never able to make proper friends, and it was kind of embarrassing but there wasn’t anything I could do. Of course I had those silly little inner monologues but I could never say anything out loud.

I met Felix in high school, a little around the time that he came to Korea as a trainee for JYP entertainment. We met at a coffee shop and while it was a strange interaction, he was able to talk to me without feeling discarded. The only way I could respond was through the notes app on my phone. 

“Oh so you’re non-verbal? I actually think that’s pretty cool! You don’t have to talk to anyone and you can just basically avoid social interaction… How long have you been like that?” He was always so full of curiosity and questions that I couldn’t help but answer. That cheeky smile with those ridiculously cute freckles struck me in the center of my heart. After all of that, we exchanged numbers and we talked daily. 

I learned that he came from Australia and that he didn’t know Korean super well, luckily for me though, seeing as I had come from America and moved for my parents business, I knew english and could hold conversations over text with him. 

Yongbokie <3 : You’ve never told me why you’re non-verbal. You mentioned that it was a choice and not a birth defect right?

Y/N : Yeah, I chose to stop speaking. I got bullied a lot in elementary school for having a loud voice that I just slowly stopped speaking. 

Yongbokie <3 : Dang that sucks.. I wish I could’ve met you sooner,, I bet you have a lovely voice!

Y/N : I’m not sure I did but thank you Lix :)

Yongbokie <3 : Anytime mate!

Slowly but surely after that, we had gotten closer, and ended up dating a year or two after he debuted. Originally, I was going to be kept a secret, but due to JYP and their new policy being that the fans have to meet the person the idol was dating, Stay’s met me a little sooner than I wanted. 

I was introduced through a live, a certainly unexpected one but it was certainly okay, Felix made sure that I was comfortable and that I didn’t have to be super interactive.

“Everyone! I would like you to meet my wonderful girlfriend, Y/N! To run a little basis down, my love is non-verbal and while responding verbally is something she wishes she could do, it is basically impossible for her to do so, so please treat her well!” Felix had me pulled close, an awkward smile was on my face but nonetheless I got comfortable and stuck around til the end of the live.

Throughout the live, a lot of fans were squealing about how they wished to be in my shoes, with the way he would stare at my lovingly, run his fingers through my hair and press occasional kisses on the crown of my head, making sure that I was comfortable and warm in his hold. At one point I found myself starting to get tired, and he almost immediately noticed when my breathing had slowed and I let out a hum of discomfort from the way we were sitting.

“Awhhh, did you hear that stay? I think that Y/N is tired.. Unfortunately because of that, I have to end the live and tuck her in… I know, I know, you’re all devastated, but I promise that I’ll go live again soon! I love you stay, see ya next time.” And just like that, he had ended the live, his full attention going straight back to me almost immediately.

“Come on sweetheart, we’ve gotta get you tucked in and all cozied up, yeah?” With a little bit of struggle, he lifted me and laid me in bed, pulling the covers overtop of my body, “I love you, I’ll be right back to join you..” With heavy eyes I look at him, a soft smile on my face, and with the little power I had left and enough courage before falling asleep,,

“Love you.. Love you too Lixie..” 

[imnotjaesblog]

Pose

Starring- Kim Jungwoo

Surprise! Thought I’d write something short for you guys while you wait for Summer Love!

Model AU

Warnings: Smut, Semi Dom Y/n, Semi Sub Jungwoo, Older Y/n, Both are over 18, Brief mention of camera, oral (f.receiving). Fluff at the end mostly, Jungwoo is down bad for Y/n.

2k Words

“Bring in the next one,” you said to the scrawny boy in the corner. He bowed walking away to get the next boy. Fixing your glasses that began to slide down your nose you fixed your stack of papers clicking your pen waiting for the next model.

The whole day you and your partner had been scouting models for a up coming campaign. You needed forty models and so far you had only found twenty two. eleven girls down and eleven boys leaving eighteen more to pick from the hundreds that had auditioned. You were not only in charge of choosing a model but also the designer of the clothes that would be modeled at an event your brother was holding later this fall.

So many came and go eager to work for you. Being able to model one of your designs would be life changing even for a super model. You were always so picky about who you wanted to model the clothes. If you looked at a model and could instantly in-vision them in your mind wearing the outfit then they were yours, if not they were not selected red simple as that.

A boy walked into the room behind your assistant. He bowed to you and the other casting director beside you. Both of you eyeing the boy who’s knees shook under the bright light hanging above him. Your finger tapped your chin. You couldn’t picture him in anything so far. He walked back and fourth, his walk was okay. He was still a rookie you thought. When he finished his final turn you had came to the conclusion that he wouldn’t fit your image. Your partner agreed sending him away kindly.

You sighed rubbing your temples. You were never going to find someone. Debating to yourself whether or not to leave and hold this off until tomorrow was tempting but you stayed waiting for the next model to come in.

When he walked in he was already more confident then the last model which is something you liked. Some people mistakes cockiness for confidence. You hated when people acted as if their shit didn’t stink. You liked the boy who walked back and fourth modeling for you. Your eyes followed him picturing him in many different types of clothes. You also may have pictured him naked.

“Why don’t you turn for me?” You asked politely twirling your finger around. He did as you were food turning around allowing you to see the frame of his body. You nodded to yourself liking what you saw.

“Tell me darling what was your name again?” You asked leaning back in your chair interested in the man.

“Kim Jungwoo,” he responded confidently. You took in his name letting it remain in your brain. You tapped your partner to write his name down. He did as well as some other important notes. You looked away from his paper back at Jungwoo.

“You should find out later today,” you said smiling. You were already going to pick him but he had to wait like everyone else. You can’t have people thinking you were interested in your model. He smiled proud of himself for making it past the audition. He bowed leaving the room thanking you for your time. You thanked him for coming watching him leave.

“Just one more,” your partner Johnny said sipping his coffee. You looked towards the door nodding, “Yes one more,” the door opening and closing caught your attention. You watched the young man walk to the runway. He walked back and fourth perfectly. You smiled enjoying his walk.

“What was your name again?” You asked.

“Lee Jeno,” you decided you’d pick him too.

——

“Okay thank you all for making it. It was a tough decision but we were able to narrow it down to forty of you,” the director said holding a clip board speaking to the ten models lined up to try on the different clothes. You stood in front of them as well watching as some tried to hold their excitement. Their idol was standing in the same room as them, they couldn’t believe it.

“We don’t have much time so we need to get to work, okay?” The director Irene said to them. They all nodded saying in unison, “Yes Ma’am” you smiled watching them all get to their positions. Today was a practice of what the show would look like. You for the first time would be present for every single rehearsal and fitting since you had very important business to attend to here. Your eyes followed Jungwoo who stood getting measured and fitted. You walked over shoeing the ladies who fitted him away. They reacted quickly fleeing to another model.

“Hello Jungwoo right?” You asked already knowing his name. You just wanted his reaction. He nodded taking in a breath. You being here created tension for everyone. They all wanted to perform well in front of you, Jungwoo one of those people. “Yes that’s me,” he said shyly looking away at his hands, playing with his thumbs. You nodded pursing your lips checking out the boy.

“My name is Y/n-“

“Yeah I know, we all do. Your a legend,” he complimented starstruck. He couldn’t believe he was talking to you. Rather you talking to him. You knew of his existence now. You knew his name which meant you knew him. He was honored to be in your presence.

You chuckled smiling at him. “A legend? Legends never die” you say looking deeply into his eyes. You could see him start to get nervous as you drew closer. “Eventually I will get old and die,” you said nonchalant. He nodded, “Of course I’m sorry if I-“

“You didn’t offend me. Can I be honest?” You asked lowly. He nodded his eyes watching your every moment yet missing when your hands reached out to him.

“I like you. I think you will perform well here. Why don’t you become my muse?” You asked causing the poor boy to almost fall to his knees. At this point he’d do anything you asked him too. He had waited so long for this moment. Barely registering the question he nodded his head blindly following you out the room you were both in.

“Words darling,” you said watching him swallow hard. “Yes I’ll be your muse,” he agreed cursing at himself for being so weak. You had a trance over him that he couldn’t figure out. His eyes followed your eyes to your lips, to the natural curve of your body. He always knew you were beautiful but the cameras did you no justice. In real life you were stunning. No makeup on your face to cover your blemishes or ache scars. It was just you standing naturally beautiful in front of him and he thought he would melt.

“Good choice,” you said smirking. You took your phone out of your purse handing it to him. Using your eyes to point to the contact information when he didn’t move. He took the phone hesitantly from your hands putting his number in your phone. You smiled gratefully taking your phone back saving his information.

“I’ll text you,” you said blowing him a kiss. That almost killed him. When you left you finally let out a breath he had no clue he was holding. He turned away looking into the mirror seeing how red his face was. His lips inches away from his skin. He’d only dream of kissing you. A fan meeting their idol/celebrity crush wasn’t something that happened everyday. Everyone at home knew Jungwoo not only respected your work as an artist but if given the opportunity would love to take out on a date.

He thought after your interaction today that maybe he would be able to pull that off.

—-

Y/n- Hey darling

Read

Jungwoo- Hello Ms.Y/L

…

Y/n- Please call me Y/n

Jungwoo wasn’t sure on how he felt calling you by your name. He had said your name a thousand times before but you being his boss it felt different this time. However he did want you to like him, he wanted to prove he was a good model so he did whatever you asked him and whatever he thought you would like.

Jungwoo- Okay I’ll try my best!

Read

Y/n- May I ask a personal question?

Read

Jungwoo- Yes of course

Read

Y/n- What is your age?

Jungwoo- twenty five.

You needed to make sure he wasn’t to young if you planned on fooling around with him.

Y/n- May I another personal question?

Jungwoo- Yes

Y/n- How do you feel about older girls?

Jungwoo- I don’t mind

He assumed you were talking about yourself. Truthfully he didn’t mind an age gap, you weren’t even that much older than him.

Y/n- Meet at my place at ten tomorrow morning. I’m working on a design and I could use you.

Read

Jungwoo- I’ll be there

——

A knock at your door halted your sketching. You looked to the side at one of your house employees. They walked over to the door opening it revealing another house staff. They both discussed them disbursed.

“Ma’am the boy is here to see you,” he approached you with the news. You smiled excitedly, “Send him in” the boy nodded bowing before he went to fetch Jungwoo.

When he returned Jungwoo walked ahead of him the house staff walking behind him. When he stepped inside he went to close the door but you shook your head. Waving your hand at the boy, “Leave us,” you said. The boy bowed opening the door and leaving. “Would you mind locking the door? I do not want to be disturbed,” you said to Jungwoo who complied. He walked over to the wooden door locking it. When he returned back to your studio you motioned your hand to come closer.

He was so nervous. He felt like his legs could barely move. He couldn’t believe he was in your studio the place you came up with the legendary designs for both men and women. He could see some of those designs on your wall photographed by photographers over the years. He saw your men suit collection from 2014. He saw your wedding dresses from 2012 photographed on the wall. He starred at them in awe like an art student seeing their favorite painting in real life for the first time.

“Do you like what you see?” You asked admiring the boy who’s eyes glowed seeing your past work. He nodded not removing his eyes from the walls. He smiled seeing photos of you from your modeling days before you became a world renowned designer. You’ve worked with Prada, Dior, Vivienne westwood and so many more. You were truly one of the greats.

“Like it? I love it,” he responded. You smiled standing up for your seat leaning Agassi on your desk fixing your glasses. “Your a fan?” You asked and he nodded still in awe. Once he realized he was starring for to long he cleared his throat. Fixing his posture he dusted himself off finally looking at you. “Forgive me I couldn’t help myself-“

“No need to apologize. I would probably act the same if I were in a room with someone I loved,” you said honestly. You wanted him to feel comfortable around you. His plumped pink lips formed a smile. A part of him still excited to be here with you.

“Now come here,” you said motion to the front of your desk. He walked Obed rather quickly almost banging into the table. “Sorry,” he said embarrassed. You chuckled sitting down opening your book. At least he made you laugh he thought. “I have an idea but I’d like to draw it on you, is that okay?” You asked lips pursing at you stared into his eyes. He swallowed his throat becoming dry. “Yes that’s fine,” was all he managed to say to you. Your stare was so imitating. He felt like one wrong move or word and he’d ruin everything. He wanted to be good for you.

After some time you decided it was time for a break. You never over worked yourself your manger had given you a good piece of advice. “No matter how hard you work, if you get hurt the job will always move on without you” that stuck with your for a very long time.

“We can take a break,” you told the boy who nodded fiddling with his fingers. You smiled motioning him to come over. He stood tall in front of you as you remained in your seat. You pulled up a chair not to far away from your hand. You tapped it signaling him to sit down which he did. You crossed one leg over the other while eyeing the young man. You bit you lip watching his fingers dance around his shakey legs. “Jungwoo,” you called. He looked up into your glossy eyes.

“Yes”

“Are you nervous?” You teased hands clasping together waiting for his response.

He nodded his throat dryer than before.

“Words darling,” you commanded softly.

“I am,” he responded already feeling himself lose to you.

“When I said I liked you I didn’t only mean you had talent,” you began. You watched as his chest moved up and down just a little faster. He wiped his hands on his jeans startled. “What did you mean?” He asked quietly. You smirked your pink lips pursing.

“I think your handsome,” you complimented. It was true you did find him handsome. Which only helped your attraction to him. “Jungwoo,” you called again. Man did his name sound so good coming from your tongue. He stared at you watching your every move. He was ready for whatever you were going to give or tell him. Your legs uncrossed spreading apart. You were wearing a medium size loose skirt. You began to lift it up your legs stopping at the hem of your thighs. Jungwoo watched intensely not wanted to miss a single move.

“Yes,” he said feeling his mouth remain slightly opened probably drooling at the sight of you. You smiled feeling your body get warmer. You started to unbutton your top stopping at the button in the middle letting the outline of your breast show. Jungwoo felt like exploding, you weren’t wearing a bra.

“You said you didn’t mind older women right?” You teased speaking softly to Jungwoo. He nodded licking his lips. “Yes,” you sighed frustrated, “I think I need your help,” you said touching one of the buttons on your blouse. Jungwoo watched you pull on the button trying to remove it. You chuckled taking it off exposing your chest to the boy. He sucked in a breath his mouth dry. “Why don’t you help me?” You asked spreading your legs for him. He stood from his seat his legs guiding himself to you sitting in your glory. You gripped his shoulder sending him down to his knees. He knelt in front of you anticipating your every move.

“Will you be good for me?” You asked massaging his shoulders rubbing into the skin. His eyes shut enjoying the feeling of your fingers on him. Letting out a groan when you you rubbed on a tight spot. You rubbed harder watching his face change his brows furrowing as you massaged the knot in his right shoulder. He nodded licking his lips.

“Words darling, I want to hear you,” you said continuing your motions on his shoulders. He huffed releasing a warm breath into the air. He opened his eyes staring into yours that were already looking at his. “Yes I want to help you. I want to be good for you,” he pleaded. You removed your hands from his shoulders taking your right hand a placing it at the bottom of his chin. You pulled him closer lifting his face to yours and placing your lips on his. He immediately kissed back savoring the taste of your lips on his. He felt like he was dreaming. You were apart of his many fantasies as a young boy and now he was here living the reality as a man.

Your tongue swiped his bottom lip. He didn’t even fight opening his mouth to you letting the kiss become hot and messy. You pulled him closer your legs on the side of his body. His hand laid on your thighs squeezing and pulling you closer to his body. Your hands placed in his soft brown hair and around his neck taking in his lips and the citrus scent of his cologne. He released himself from your lips looking deeply into your eyes. “Can I taste you?” He asked. You nodded pushing yourself back and bringing your skirt up more to expose your bare pussy to him. Glistening in the light he licked his lips feeling himself get harder in his pants. He placed your legs on either side of the chair spreading you for him. Bringing his wet lips closer he kissed and sucked on your inner thighs.

“Don’t be a tease darling, take what you want,” you said watching him from below you. He groaned seeing the sight of your wet pussy. One of his hands creeping down his body to squeeze himself trying to control his mind and body from going completely feral. He licked a long swipe on your slit causing you to shudder. Proud of himself for making you weaker even though he was beneath you he licked your clit again sucking on the bundle of nerves. You tried to hold back your moans not wanting him to know how good he was making you feel. It would get to his pretty little head. But you couldn’t help it. His warm, wet mouth felt so good devouring your core. "Jungwoo you're doing so well for me," You praised through half a moan, your hand pulling on his hair. The praise only made his tongue move faster sliding it in and out of your wet hole. His fingers found their way to the pussy spreading your folds. His slender finger moved inside you while his tongue moved back to your clit.

You came all over his mouth soaking the bottom half of his face. When he continued his moments on your overly sensitive clit you pulled his head back by his hair. His forehead is exposed to your strong grip. The sunlight from your large window shining on his lips and his chin glistened with your slick. You pulled him forward by his hair and he complied. Letting his arms dangle before him and his knees remain on the ground. You brought your lips close to his inches away from each other.

"Jungwoo my darling can you do me another favor?" You slurred high off his mouth. He nodded eyes looking deeply into yours. His hands placed themselves on your exposed thighs. "Anything," He said sincerely.

"Get undressed and fuck me," You said through a seductive smile. He stood up undoing his belt tossing it to another part of the studio. He removed his shirt bringing it over his head and tossing it away with your blouse. He undid his jeans sliding them down along with his boxers. He pumped his length in his hand waiting for your command.

“Fuck me on my desk,” you said licking your tongue. He smiled taking your hand wiping all your sketches and pencils away. Spreading your legs open for him as he came in between you. Jungwoo felt like the luckiest man alive. You pulled him forward into a passionate kiss both of you lost in each others embrace. You pulled away leaning over to dig in your draw pulling out a condom. Ripping the package open rather quickly you placed the condom on his dick.

His rubbed dick through your folds circling your clit with his his tip. Biting his lip he watched your wetness soak the condom. He hopes to fuck you one day without it. Until then he’ll fuck you with it on if it means he gets to be here with you. “Jungwoo darling stop teasing and put it in,” you slurred knocking over some pencils trying to balance. He pushed the head of cock into your wet hole. His cock inching inside your pussy slowly your velvet walls sucking him. You bit your lip feeling the burn it had been so long since you last slept with someone, ever since your divorce you haven’t really gone out much. Taking the time to work on your designs.

You didn’t realize how much you missed the feeling of someone inside you.

“That’s it baby,” you praised working him through it. His dick say fully inside you waiting for you to let him know he could move. After the initial burn started to fade you tapped his thigh signaling him to go. His hips moved at a normal speed at first turning the pain into pleasure. You tapped him letting him know to move faster. He fucked into you harder and faster, “Darling don’t hold back,” you pleaded smirking as his jaw fell opened groans escaping his plumped lips as he finally fucked you.

“You feel so good,” he praised watching as his dick disappeared into your clenching hole. He felt you squeeze against him. If you kept doing that he’d cum to fast. His eyebrows furrowed trying to hold in his release for as long as he could. It was hard to not let go while being inside you. You wrapped around him delicious like your pussy was made for him. Wet sounds could be heard all around the studio. The sound of skin slapping against the desk as the morning became the afternoon. You held onto the desk tightly your knuckles turn white. Your mouth agape watching Jungwoo intensely lost in your own haze of pleasure. Jungwoo’s hands on placed on your hips fucking you into the wooden desk. He brought one of his fingers down to rub circles on your clit matching the speed of his thrust. You threw your head back in bliss. Letting out moans and whines as he fucked you.

He lifted you up turning you around bending you over the desk. He grabbed a piece of your hair pulling it back forming a ponytail. His other hand placed directly on your hip. You held onto the end of your desk your back arching magnificently. Beads of sweat fell down mouth of your bodies the air in the room becoming thinner and warm. Your mouth became dry from all the moaning your were doing. You were sure the house staff heard you, Jungwoo as well. He leaned down close to your ear. You could hear his groans directly like little whispers. They were only meant for your ears.

“Am I doing good?” He asked through groans and hard breaths. “Am I fucking you right?” He asked repeating his motions. You nodded licking your lips turning your head slightly to face him his duck still moving inside you. “So good darling. Your fucking me so well,” you praised. The praise went straight from his head to his dick fucking into even harder. You could feel your body squish against the desk your ribs hitting the desk but you didn’t care. He felt to good inside you to stop. Jungwoo pulled your hair back harder lifting the front of your body up your back pressing against his sweaty front.

“I’m gonna cum,” you moaned Jungwoo groaning into your ear. He reached around your waist circling the bundle of nerves helping you to reach your orgasm. You came moaning out loud and soaking the condom. You clenched and unclenched around him bringing Jungwoo to his climax soaking up the condom. He slowly pulled out of you taking the condom off. He tied it and threw it in the trash bin nearby. He walked over to the tissue box cleaning you up and himself. He helped you get dressed, then got dressed himself. He picked up the things he threw on the floor placing them back on your desk neatly.

You smiled watching him your index finger playing with your lips. He glowed in the afternoon sun. His skin sun kissed from the light that shined through your large windows. The way his lips curved upwards when he noticed you were watching him. He looked so beautiful. You couldn’t help but walk over to your camera. You lifted the device pointing it at him.

“Pose,” is all you said before he turned his head and you snapped a picture.

This picture would be one of many that you would take. Some would see public eye at campaigns and events. Some would see it on social media. Some only family would see.

And some only you’d see in the private of your own home with your muse, Kim Jungwoo.

Fin.

Hope you enjoyed thank you so much for reading. Small Update on Summer Love starring Jaehyun i am having a hard time coming up with a idea. I don’t want to do the same old thing so I’m really trying to come up with something different. I’m working on the story currently dedicating some time to it , so stay tuned for that!

Until then I hope you enjoy and look out for more surprise fics! :)

[the-odd-devil]

The Sky Is Dark, But I See You : Chapter 1

Edward Nashton x f!reader Dark Academia College AU

Summary : Edward Nashton caught your attention instantly, how could he not? You've never seen someone like him, from his boyish feature to his fashion sense, everything makes him standout. But you're totally normal about him.

Word Count : 1 578

Warnings : None I think? Tell me if you find any! (there will be smut and other riddler paraphernalia in the future chapters)

Author's Note : I'm soooooo excited for this fic hihi! I really love the dark academia aesthetic and I wanted to do a college AU fic for Eddie and I feel like the vibes really match! Plus Gotham is already very dark academia I feel like! Anyway, I'll add a link for the mood board of this fic later! Enjoy <3

Update! thank you so much @always-andromeda for helping me and proof reading! it's always so fun and so useful for my english to work with you! <33

Chapter I : It'll go away

The weather today is particularly shitty. Which is saying something, because the weather in Gotham is always awful. Usually, you don’t mind it. You like – no – love the rain. You’ve always found beauty in the tiniest things; things that others find ugly and disturbing. But you think that there is beauty in everything. 

The ambiance Gotham has when it rains is substantial. Everything seems to be a blur. All your senses are affected.  The smell of the street changes, humidity suffocates you, the usual noisy sirens and vehicles are muffled by the falling water. Some days, you take off your jacket to feel the drops on your skin. 

But today is not that kind of day. You sprint from the subway station to the main entrance of Gotham University, taking no time to appreciate it’s beautiful gothic architecture. You don’t even notice  the fact that at this time of the morning the lights are still on, making the building even more imposing, rising in the dark and foggy sky. 

Once again you’re late to class, you couldn’t get off the bed after working all night at the college cafeteria. You fucking hate that. Having to rush to find where the room is, not being able to choose your seat or take a coffee. All of that stresses you out even more than you are already. And you rapidly start to fall into a cycle of feeling not good enough. You’re late, you feel like your grades will never be high enough, and that you’ll never be able to pay your student loan. You’ll be in debt all your life in a city that couldn’t care less about the ones who need it the most. 

When you arrive in front of the closed door, you wait a second to take a deep breath. You will not let your mood impact your grades. You need to make a good impression in this new class. Feeling ready, you knock on the door and open it. 

“Good morning, sorry for being late…” you say, first thing, while looking at the professor.

“It’s okay! The storm really had made it difficult for everyone. You can take a seat.”

You scan the room, searching where to sit, when you see him. A big smile grows immediately on your face, fixing him. He dives his head in his paper immediately when he notices you too. You could see his face becoming red even from his seat at the bottom of the class. A light chuckle passes through your lips as you sit a few rows before him. You saw him rapidly looking from his paper to you while you crossed the room and can feel him looking at you now that you are in your chair. 

You think you noticed him for the first time in your very first year at Gotham University. He had made you turn your head all the way back to follow his figure as he walked through the same corridor as you. He looked down almost immediately after noticing your stare. Your college friend, Sarah, was looking at you questionably before chuckling at how cartoonish the action was. The next few times you walked that corridor the same week, you completely ignored Sarah talking to you to spy every corner to see him. But hey, you were just curious. His looks and attitude made you want to know more. He didn’t look like any other student you had met in the cathedral-like building. You could tell by watching him walk that he was shy and reserved. The other times you met him going from one class to another had confirmed that. He kept excusing himself in a worried, soft tone every time he even brushed against someone. He was also always alone. Which only made you want to learn more about him. And be his friend; his only friend.  He reminded you of your younger self, always too scared to stand out, trying to make yourself as tiny as possible, hoping that nobody would notice you, and not having friends because nobody wanted to hear you talk about your favorite cartoons. His look also instantly drew you to him. You’d never seen someone who looked like him. You found him very beautiful, but in an unusually boyish way. He didn’t have the playboy physique that you usually saw on magazine covers. His face was round and soft, and he had high and visible cheekbones that made him so appealing. His eyes seemed to always sparkle despite his loneliness. His lips were so delicate, you could only imagine what he looked like when he smiled, changing the shape of his eyes and accentuating his cheekbones. You surprised yourself wondering how you could make him smile when you’re alone with your thoughts. You also loved his fashion sense, distinguishing himself further from all the other students. You could tell right away that all his clothes are thrifted. Some were ridiculously large on him; like his mother had given him his brother's hand-me-downs. And some were a bit too small; so tight that it made you wonder what he looked like underneath all that fabric. He also seemed to wear an infinite amount of layers, which made you question how he didn't suffocate over the summer.

Strangely, his outfits were always coherent with some recurring garments and an earthy color palette, greens being the most prevalent. His wardrobe consisted of old knitted sweaters, vintage trousers, washed out white or beige shirts (sometimes paired with a tie). And he always wore the same shoes; old, deep brown, low rise docs which allowed you to see his often mismatched funky patterned socks. It ended up making him look more academic and in theme compared to the other students, almost like he'd been born and lived in the walls of the university. His look and features are amplified by his silver wired and oval glasses, accentuating the boyish, academic look. The glasses immediately caught your attention, and you used them as a pitiful excuse for why you were looking at him in the first place.

“Oh, I just really love his glasses! I need new ones!” you told Sarah, who responded by rolling her eyes at the fact that you held your gaze even when his back was to you.

Sarah is a really good friend, always there for you. But she was immediately done with your bullshit. She wasn’t dumb or blind, and sighed every time you denied your attraction to the mysterious boy as you forced her to take the seat in front of you so you could get a good view of him or when you completely tuned out her voice every time you crossed paths with him. You told yourself that you were being totally normal about him. You’re just intrigued, you reasoned, only looking at him occasionally, where you are, in fact, borderline stalking him. You had started following him when you were alone and had memorized his schedule just two months after seeing him for the first time. You hoped he wasn’t questioning the fact that he’s seen you so often. 

And still, you haven’t spoken to him. Neither has he approached you. But you know he noticed you. He probably noticed you the first time you looked at each other in the hallway. He noticed you multiple times after that. One time, while studying at the library after carefully choosing your spot, you smiled at him. He froze, blushed, and then looked down at his paper with extreme intensity for the rest of the time you were there. He didn’t even look up once, you got time to take a coffee and go to the bathroom, he hadn’t moved, his face bright red. You thought it was the cutest thing ever. So, you gave him your prettiest smile every time your eyes met and soon became addicted to all his reactions. Blushing, sometimes glasses fogging, other times bumping into someone and babbling mindless excuses while his books fell, fixing the ground while picking them, avoiding your gaze. On rare occasions he maintained eye contact. Intense, burning eye contact, before picking all his things and running away. Soon you wanted more, more reactions, more babbling. You were hoping to become the only thing on his mind. It seems to work, you caught him more than once looking at you thinking you wouldn’t notice, sometimes, you’ll let him do, other times, you caught him, he almost spit all his coffee once. He does drink a lot of coffee, to a point where you're pretty sure his smell has a hint of it, probably mix with cheap detergent and deodorant, you’re imagining a warm, floral tint to it, combined with the smell of old books. You’re totally normal about him, though. The little hearts you draw on his coffee cup when you serve him at the cafeteria is just a nice touch. Because he can’t look you in the eye when he orders with the most shy and soft voice that resonates in your head every night before you fall asleep. Especially not when you see him choose the same spot to sit in everyday, where you can smile and wave to him, making him choke on his coffee. 

And it’s totally because you don’t know anybody in this new class that, when prompted to choose a partner for the class, you wrote his name down next to yours without asking him.

[hoedamn-eron]

sunshine

Your relationship with the system is going really well, incredible even. But you have a difficult past and the boys are thinking about the future.

Warnings: Very sensitive topics discussed in this fic. Pregnancy talk and infertility talk (forced sterilisation). Being drugged for a medical procedure. Inaccurate depictions of DID (only knowledge from the show and some light research). Angsty with a happy ending. Mentions some spoilers for Black Widow. Slightly proofread so prone to some mistakes (as per usual). Word count: 4,724 words (11 pages on Microsoft Word!) F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

This took me 3 weeks to write and post, I am so sorry. Inspired by this post by @jupitersmoon167. Also, in true Shannon fashion, there is a coffee shop in this. I swear, one day, I'll move on from coffee shops 😂

Steven mostly fronts through this so: Marc internal dialogue. Jake internal dialogue.

You wanted to put your past behind you, you really did.

Ever since Natasha Romanoff and Yelena Belova destroyed the Red Room and given everyone the antidote for the mind-control agent, you had felt a little lost. You wandered between countries for a while, trying to find yourself. Some of the other Black Widows kept in touch but eventually they went silent, choosing their own paths and creating their own lives, probably trying to let go of the past, just like you were.

You had found your family, but they had also moved on. You didn’t even approach them as you watched them from afar for a while, always dressed inconspicuously as not to raise any attention to yourself. They seemed happy. You didn’t want to shake up their dynamic.

You eventually settled in London, getting a small, nice, quiet job in a café by the British Museum, where all the university students were residing. It was mundane, and that’s exactly what you needed. You were staying in a hostel for a while before you saved up enough to start renting a flat for yourself, near Camden. The tube was nearby so it wasn’t too far from your job and you enjoyed going to the markets in your spare time every now and then. You settled into your new life as well as you could (you still couldn’t quite stop the habit of assessing your surroundings and listening carefully to each person you saw in the café), and you felt like you had finally started to move on like everyone else had done.

Then you met Steven Grant.

He came into your life unexpectedly and noisily. It was a cold Saturday morning in October and you were opening the café for the morning shift, struggling with the key in the lock, when he had solidly bumped into you. He had, of course, taken you by surprise and you immediately went into defence mode, ready to take him out when he was already apologising profusely, claiming he wasn’t looking where he was going.

When you both finally looked at each other, it was like something had just clicked into place. He had stumbled again over another apology, but you’d finally found yourself talking to him, telling him it was okay. He’d given you a smile – that amazing smile – and ran off, apologising again.

You didn’t see him again for a few days, but he wasn’t far from your thoughts. You felt silly; London was a big place, you’d probably never see him again. But you indulged yourself in your lovey-dovey daydreams that you never used to be able to have. You were actually caught up in one of those silly daydreams when you meet him again, but this time, he wants to buy a tea.

After you fumble (and you never fumble) over making his tea, he takes you by surprise again as he asks you out for dinner that night. You had stared at him with wide eyes, trying to not take notice of the butterflies in your tummy, and the anxiety sitting heavy on your chest. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to go out with him…you did, very much so. But you were very much ‘out of the game’…actually, you were never in the game.

He had taken your silence as a bad thing and quickly apologised but you told him that he’d just taken you by surprise, that you’d actually love to go out with him.

He met with you after work, a bouquet of all sorts of flowers in his hand.

“I wasn’t sure which ones you’d like, so I just got them all,” he’d said, blushing with nervousness.

You about died on the inside about how considerate he was.

He took you to a cute little Italian not far from the café. Conversation flowed easily, something that surprised even you; Steven was just effortless to talk to, he always had something to say. You had really enjoyed yourself, despite the awkwardness when Steven had asked about your family, or what you were doing in London. You swiftly avoided answering the question, claiming you ‘needed a change of scenery’. He didn’t push.

Like the gentleman he was, he walked you back to your tube station, making sure you got there okay. It was still relatively busy so he felt more at ease than leaving you alone. You both exchanged numbers at the end of the night and parted with plans for another date and a kiss to the cheek. You felt your face warming up as you watched Steven walk out of the tube station towards the bus stop a few streets down.

Your next date was at the National Art Gallery. Steven had remembered you saying that you’d never been there, and you melted when he’d mentioned that was where you were going. That date, Steven had slipped his hand into yours as he walked you around the museum, telling you about the paintings and statues. He mentioned there was a Da Vinci exhibition coming to the museum so you would have to go again soon together. Your heart swelled at the fact he wanted to see you again.

That date ended with another kiss on the cheek, but it lingered.

The third date was your idea. The weather was getting colder and the ice-skating rink outside the Natural History Museum was back for the season. Steven had admitted he was terrible at ice skating but he was willing to give it a go. You were out of practice too, and you were happy to hold his hand all the way around as you both skated around together. Steven did have a few near tumbles but didn’t manage to fall over. There was a French café nearby that you had visited a few times and you both stopped by for dinner.

You and Steven spent the rest of your evening huddled close, practically nose to nose as you talked, laughed, hands linked together under the table. You both didn’t realise how much time had passed, your umpteenth hot drink of the night sat forgotten on the table, Steven’s tea long gone cold, until your waitress had informed you that they were closing and you would have to leave.

You ended the third date with a soft kiss under the glow of a lamppost by Steven’s bus stop.

Steven met up with you for lunch at the café at least twice a week, and you were texting each other non-stop. You both made the time to arrange dates with each other, and soon he asked you to be his girlfriend. You didn’t hesitate in saying yes, finally feeling like a ‘regular’ citizen, a person who could just live a normal life.

It was six months since you met Steven that he told you about Marc and Jake.

He had been uncharacteristically nervous as he stepped into your flat; it wasn’t the first time he’d been there, he was usually incredibly comfortable in your flat. You tried to be nonchalant, offering him a glass of wine as soon as he sat on your sofa, but he was fidgeting and picking at his cuticles, and he didn’t seem to notice when you placed the wine down on your coffee table in front of him.

“Steven, darling?”

He jumped at your voice, as if you had just appeared magically in front of him (he seemed so out of it, you probably did). He gave you a shaky smile, averting his gaze from you quickly. You sighed as you moved his wine glass, taking a seat on the coffee table, leaning forward so he would just look at you. “What’s going on?”

Steven gulped nervously before looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place. “I’m sorry, sunshine.”

It was his new name for you. He’d called you it randomly one day, but you hadn’t batted an eyelid. Then he called it you again, and again, and that was when you queried why.

He’d smiled at you shyly. “I’m sorry. If you don’t like it – “

You had shaken your head at him. “No, I do. I just wondered why that name in particular.”

Steven blushed but still kept on smiling. “Because you’re warm. And you make me happy. Like sunshine.”

You felt yourself melt there on the spot.

But now, he was talking what felt like a million miles a minute but nothing was really sinking in. You immediately were thinking the worst. Was he going to break up with you? Had you done something wrong? Maybe he just didn’t want to be with you anymore –

“Love?”

You blinked at him, giving him a slightly forced smile as you reached over and grasped his hand, giving it a squeeze. “Yes, Steven?”

“I just wanted to…I love you. I love you so much, but I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

“Oh God,” you muttered, quickly pulling your hand away. “You’re married.”

“No, no!” Steven said quickly, shaking his head. “No, I’m not married. Not even…no, no secret family, it’s just me. Well…me and…Marc and Jake.”

Your brow furrows at the silence that followed. “Who are Marc and Jake?”

Steven spent the next hour explaining his life before he met you, how he thought he had a sleeping disorder; he was going to bed then waking up in a different place, or he’d go to bed and wake up thinking it was the next day, but a week had passed by. Then he started finding weird stuff in his flat of a man who looked like him but it definitely wasn’t him and he had a completely different second life which he didn’t know about.

“I have DID.”

You were familiar. At the Red Room, they made you read, made you study. You had to be the best of the best, and that sometimes meant knowing about certain disorders or illnesses. You had to be smart as well as agile in the Red Room. You knew what DID was, and you knew what caused it too.

You felt the familiar urge to rip someone’s head off. Who hurt your Steven?

Taking a deep breath, you nod at him. “And Marc and Jake are the other alters?”

Steven blinked at you, but he didn’t question how you knew what DID was. “Well…technically, I never existed, I wasn’t born. Just…created. Like Jake. By Marc.”

You had cupped his cheeks, giving him no choice but to look at you with unshed tears in his eyes. “You exist, Steven. You have a life, a body, a mind. Don’t ever think that you were just…’created’.”

Steven just gave you a small smile before looking down at his hands again.

You give a small chuckle as you lightly shake your head. “Well, since we’re trauma dumping…”

You cleared your throat as you tried to get the courage to tell him about your life as a Black Widow, down to the mind control and the assassinations. You felt your hands shaking halfway through, but Steven held onto them tightly, helping you explain who you were before he met you, missing out a few details which you weren’t ready to talk about just yet. You burst into tears as Steven accepted you, telling you your past didn’t define you, that you weren’t in control (and he knows what that was like).

“I knew something was up anyway,” said Steven, a little laugh coming from him. “You have awfully good reflexes.”

It was as if a final barrier had been knocked down between you, as if it was the last thing holding you both back. Your relationship changed for the better when Marc and Jake finally introduced themselves to you – although it did take a few more months after Steven had told you about them. Marc had kept you at a distance for a while before he finally let his guard down, and Jake had taken a while to warm up to you, but you had taken a while to warm up to him too.

All three of them eventually told you about Khonshu. It was over dinner with Marc a few months after you’d met him. That was a little harder to take in than the DID. But was an Ancient Egyptian God with an avatar – who happened to be your boyfriends – so unbelievable? Aliens were invading the Earth every other week, there was the Blip that happened a few years ago. You had to have a relatively open mind in the kind of situations you had been in. Jake still was more active as an avatar than Steven and Marc, so you never really saw him since he slept the days away.

But now, nearly three years down the line, you were all in a happy, healthy relationship. You’d been living together for about a year and a half, renting a flat nearer to your work, and the university where Steven was finishing his final year, nearly ready to be a History teacher. You were still at the café, now in a manager’s position, and today was a rare day off for you both. The weather was nice for London, do you both decided to take a walk in St James’s Park.

It was Steven’s turn to front today, and he was telling you all about his assignment for his uni course that was due that week. You loved listening to him talk about his uni work; he was so passionate about it. You were happy that he finally seemed to have some sort of stability in his life (other than yourself) after so many years of being unsure of himself, Jake and Marc included.

“So I should be finished by May, then I graduate. Hopefully.”

“There’s no ‘hopefully’ about it Steven, you’ll definitely graduate, with full marks.”

Steven gave a shy smile, looking at the group as he blushed. “Thanks, sunshine. For everything, really, you’ve been so patient with me.”

“You don’t have to thank me Steven,” you say, pausing your steps to giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek, sending a warmth through his body, and your own. They always made you feel that way; warm and fuzzy.

Safe.

You gave a hum of content as you smiled up at Steven and you both go to continue your walk, only for something to bump into you, causing you to let out a slight ‘oomf’. You let go Steven’s hand to steady whatever ran into you and you look down to see a young boy, probably no younger than five, looking up at you with big, brown eyes, filled with tears. He was sniffing, trying to hold back his sobs as he trembled against you.

“Are you okay? What’s the matter?” you ask, looking away from the boy and searching the area. “Where’re your parents?”

“I-I-I don’t know,” the boy said, sniffing. His face crumpled as the tears began to fall. “I w-was on the p-p-playground and then I c-couldn’t see them.”

Your eyes widened as you felt the small panic in your own chest, looking around to see if there were any adults looking around, maybe a little frantic as Steven knelt down to the boy’s level. “What’s your name, buddy?”

The boy hiccupped from the sobbing he’d done as he wiped the tears away. “N-N-Nicholas.”

“Well, Nicholas,” said Steven, before introducing himself and you to the boy. “We’ll find your parents, don’t worry. We won’t leave you alone.”

“Come on, we’ll go back to the playground,” you said, holding your hand out for Nicholas, who took it with a little hesitation.

He was cute, little Nicholas, even with the snotty nose and the red cheeks from crying. His white blonde hair was hidden underneath a woolly hat and he had some dinosaur welly boots on. You couldn’t believe that clothes and shoes came that small. The three of you walk towards the playground, you and Steven making conversation with Nicholas, trying to cheer him up. His favourite colour was blue, and he really loved Thomas the Tank Engine, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Leonardo was his favourite one, obviously). He had a little sister who had just turned two, her name was Philippa, but everyone called her Pippy. His best friend was called George, from school, and he was going for dinner at his house after school on Monday, they were going to have pizza and chips (George’s favourite). Nicholas seemed to feel a bit better (well the tears had stopped anyway) by the time you all reached the playground.

“Nicholas, can you see your parents anywhere?” you asked, leaning down to pick him up so he could get a better view. You both turned around. “What do they look like?”

“Mummy has pink hair,” said Nicholas, looking at the playground. “And daddy has long hair but he always has it up.”

“Do you know what they were wearing?” Steven asked.

Nicholas nodded. “Mummy’s dress had dinosaurs on it.”

“Narrows it down,” you muttered to Steven. “Pink hair and dinosaurs should be easy to spot.”

Steven nodded as the three of you went around the playground, which wasn’t very busy because of the cold weather but there was no pink hair or dinosaurs to be seen.

“We can try and see if they’re at the ice cream van,” said Steven, before muttering to himself he had no idea why there would be an ice cream van in this weather.

“What’s your favourite ice cream flavour, Nicholas?” you ask him, still carrying him on your hip as you head towards the centre of the park, where the ice cream van usually sits. His tears had mostly stopped, his chubby cheeks still a little tear stained. “Mine is mint chocolate chip.”

“I like that too!” said Nicholas. “And strawberry. Pip likes strawberry too.”

“Strawberry is Steven’s favourite too,” you said, grinning at Nicholas.

Nicholas giggled as he looked between the two of you. “Are you married?”

Your heart skipped a beat at the question, stuttering to answer but Steven managed to save you. “Not yet.”

“Yet?” you asked, raising an eyebrow as you looked at Steven, who merely grinned at you.

“My mummy and daddy got married,” said Nicholas. “I was daddy’s best man.”

“That’s nice, did you make sure your daddy was where he needed to be?”

Nicholas nodded, a proud look on his face. “I looked after the rings as well.”

“Wow,” you said, seeing the ice cream van in the distance. “Good job, dude, that’s such a big responsibility.”

“I kept them in my pocket the whole time,” said Nicholas. “And Pip was the flower girl, she walked down with my auntie Anna.”

“It sounds like a lovely day.”

“Nicholas!”

You all turned to see a couple running towards you, pushing a pram, worried looks on their faces. Indeed, Nicholas’s mother had bright pink hair, up in space buns and a dinosaur pinafore on. You smiled as Nicholas wriggled from your grip and you placed him on the ground before he ran over to his parents, his mother immediately scooping him up as he babbled to her quickly how he lost them, but you and Steven were helping him find you.

“We thought you’d be getting ice cream!”

“I’m never taking my eyes off you again,” said his mother before looking at you and Steven. “Thank you so much for finding him and looking after him.”

Steven waved his hand nonchalantly. “He was a pleasure. Great kid. Easy to lose track of them sometimes, init?”

“Oh I know,” laughed Nicholas’s mother. “You must know what it’s like, if you have kids.”

You felt yourself tensing as the words left Nicholas’s mother’s mouth, but Steven didn’t seem to notice. “No, not yet.”

There were a lot of ‘not yet’s happening today.

After saying your goodbyes to the family, you and Steven started to make your way back to the flat.

“I didn’t know you were so good with kids,” said Steven. “You kept him calm the entire time.”

You shrugged, really wanting to drop the subject. “I suppose. Haven’t really been around children much, not with…ya know, my old ‘job’.”

“Yeah, right,” said Steven, nodding understandingly. “If it’s any consolation, that hasn’t changed anything about you. You’ll make an amazing mum.”

You stopped, freezing on the spot as you stared ahead at the ground before you. You practically felt the blood rush from your face as Steven’s hand left your own before landing on your shoulder. “Sunshine?”

You’ve gone and done it now, Steven, you’ve freaked her out.

You shouldn’t have mentioned the kids, hermano.

Steven ignored Marc’s and Jake’s unwanted comments (he knew he messed up) and pushed back the guilt he felt as you finally looked up at him, plastering a too wide smile on your face. “Let’s go home, yeah?”

Steven nodded silently, before slipping his hand back into your own.

You were stuck in your own head for the next few days. You and Steven had never talked about kids before, and since his comment from the park, you’ve been trying to avoid talking to him, going as far as picking up extra shifts at the café so you didn’t have to go home. You were going back to your old ways and thinking of ways to leave your boys with no trace. But the thought felt like a tight vice around your neck, squeezing hard. You didn’t want to leave them. The thought made you sick.

But realistically, it was probably the next step in your relationship; marriage, then children…something you can’t give to him, or the others, not after your time in the Red Room.

Your mood didn’t go missed by the boys, when you were home. Marc had called internal meetings between him, Steven, and Jake, trying to figure out how to tell you not to worry, and when either of them tried, you just shook them off with a forced smile, telling them that you were fine. After a while, they let you be, thinking you would come to them eventually.

The days went by and you felt like you were still walking on eggshells around the system, waiting for them to turn around and tell you they were leaving you. You had reacted badly to the mention of children, something they must have discussed between themselves, they wouldn’t want you around if they wanted them. They deserved someone who could give them a child, a real family.

You had taken a while to fall asleep next to Jake, who had fronted. He hadn’t spoken to you much, you guessed he was just giving you space, but you had caught him looking at you with concern a few times during the day. When you finally fell asleep, close to 2am, your sleep was plagued with nightmares tinged with red. You were back in the Red Room, then you felt yourself pulling the trigger at a faceless man, then that faceless man slowly turned into Marc, then Steven, then Jake. You screamed, but you couldn’t move as you watched them fall back, surrounded by their own blood. You couldn’t breathe, your world was collapsing in on itself as the body, their faces now unrecognisable in death.

“Wake up, love.”

You stared at your hands, coated in blood, their blood, as you shook. They weren’t moving, they weren’t talking, how could you hear them?

“Darling, it’s me, it’s a bad dream, please wake up.”

Steven?

You awoke with a gasp, Steven’s arms immediately wrapping around you as you sat up, the tears flowing down your face and into Steven’s shirt. You sobbed loudly as you slid your arms around him. You started shaking your head as Steven rubbed your back. “I’m sorry.”

“Just breathe, love, okay. We’re here. Just breathe.”

You take in a shaky breath but your tears just kept flowing, your cries not stopping. You shook your head, pulling back to look at him. “No, you don’t understand. I’m sorry. I can’t give you what you want.”

Steven’s hold tightened around you. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t have…I can’t have children.”

Steven stopped his movements around you, taking in your words as he stared at you, his brow furrowed slightly. You whimpered, wanting nothing more than for the floor to open up and swallow you whole. “I’m sorry. I can’t…it was years ago, back in the Red Room. When you turn eighteen, they…it’s all fuzzy, they gave me some sort of drug for the pain and healing, but I…I’m sterilised, Steven.”

“What?”

“I can’t have children. I didn’t have a choice, I’m sorry.” You cry loudly, all these feelings you’d had bottled up spewing out with your tears. “You want a family, and kids and I can’t…I can’t…I’m damaged goods, I’m – “

“No. No, you’re not.” Steven was shaking, his jaw setting as he looked at you. “You’re not, you’re amazing, and brilliant, and…you’re my sun, our sun, and you…you didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve what happened to you or what you did…nothing.”

You sob as you bury yourself into his chest again, Steven’s arms wrapping around you tightly as he glared at the mirror, seeing Marc and Jake both looking equally as angry at you both. How sick and twisted must a person be to do that to a young girl? To take away her choice to have children or not, to have a family. They weren’t angry at you. They wanted to protect you, to give you the world, like you deserved.

Let’s go break a couple of skulls.

Easy, Jake. We can work it out later. She needs us right now.

Steven held you tighter to him, bringing himself back to lie against the headboard of your shared bed as you lay on his chest, your cries having died down a little. You both lay there in silence, Steven’s hands stroking your back continuously. You don’t know how long you lay there for, but you must have dozed off again because you awoke feeling heavy, and stuffy, and your face felt a little puffy.

You sat up slowly, looking around before your eyes landed on Steven, who gave you a sad smile, his hand automatically finding your own. You open your mouth to speak to apologise but Steven was already shaking his head. “Please don’t say you’re sorry again.”

You closed your mouth, looking at him sheepishly. You felt silly now, crying like that, screaming in your sleep, and waking him up. You felt weak. You look down at your hands, afraid to look at him anymore. “I understand if you want to leave.”

Steven sighed before leaning forward, cupping your cheeks, making you look at him. There were new unshed tears in your eyes as you looked at him. “We are not leaving. We will never leave you.” Steven shook his head. “Whether or not you want a family with us, we’ll be with you every step of the way. If it’s something you don’t want, then that is fine. We’re happy just to be with you. We will take any step you want to make, okay? And if you want a family a little further down the line, then that’s great, we’ll look into it. We love you.”

You sniffed, the tears falling down your cheeks again. You loved these men. They made you feel safe, and they hadn’t judged you on your past. They helped you move on whilst learning to love and accept yourself, despite all of your flaws (that they don’t see, no matter what you say). Even now, when you’d been stuck with an inner turmoil all week, they have reassured you that they were there for the long run, no matter what happens.

“Okay,” you breathed, leaning back into Steven’s chest, the both of you laying back on the bed. “Thank you.”

Steven chuckled a little. “You don’t have to thank me, sunshine.”

You were going to be okay. You’d fought your way through life and made it. And you have your boys. They’ll be there for you through everything. You didn’t have to worry about being alone anymore or disappointing anyone with what life has thrown at you, especially now, as Steven gives a soft kiss on your forehead, muttering a goodnight.

You felt yourself smiling as you closed your eyes, giving your own goodnight.

[tdoong15]

hello again after u talked about Stanley cups I deiced to make a middleSMC, seeing these cups online on TikTok or instagram and then telling there mommas about them and forcing them to buy them and taking them everywhere and drinking coffee "water because they dont drink coffee" and being just normal youth ya know hope you doing well, am fine started my internship and its going good, tho there was a snow storm here today so that sucked by anyways

have a sana

Hiiii I'm doing well. That's really cool that you've been able to start your internship I hope it goes really well for you. Also it snowed a lot where I was thankfully it cleared up for me.

Middle!SMC. CGs!Sahyo

Warnings: none

Stanley cups

Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were in their room scrolling through TikTok initially to find either funny or relatable videos which they could share to one another, until Dahyun spotted a video which reminded her of what she was meant to say at breakfast but she forgot about it. “Have you guys seen those Stanley Cups? I've been wanting one for ages now.” Dahyun showed Chaeyoung and Tzuyu a picture of what she was talking about. “Of course we've seen them, we don't live under a rock, Dubu.” Chaeyoung commented since she's also been wanting one. “Yeah we've seen them Dahyunnie. And we want them too” Tzuyu said whilst looking at her phone.

“Well if we all want them then why don't we ask our moms?” Chaeyoung questioned because it's the most logical and obvious thing to do. “Because they'll say no, trust me I've tried.” Dahyun said with a sigh until she had an idea. “Tzu, could you tell mom and eomma about them instead of me or Chaeng?” Dahyun leaned over so Tzuyu was looking at her. “Wait why me?!” Tzuyu asked in confusion about why the others couldn't just annoy their moms until they caved in. “You're like their baby so they'll let you get anything regardless of the price. Duh.” Chaeyoung responded, which Dahyun quickly agreed to.

Tzuyu was about to argue with Dahyun and Chaeyoung but she weighed out her options, in the end she ended up choosing the option of telling her mommas about getting the Stanley Cups. “Fine, I'll ask them”. Tzuyu stood up and she began walking to the living room, Dahyun and Chaeyoung were right behind her because they wanted to instantly know the verdict. “Mom, eomma can me, Chae and Dahyunnie have Stanley Cups? They're, like, really good and they won't spill.” Tzuyu asks with a slight pout to further enhance the chance of her getting what she wants.

Sana and Jihyo looked at each other and then at Tzuyu. “Okay you three can get the cups.” Sana says with a smile, the school meal club cheered that they were now able to get what they've been wanting for weeks now. So with that Sana and Jihyo were being dragged to the store but they didn't say anything about it because they wouldn't want to make Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu upset or annoyed at them.

When they reached the store, the maknae line went speeding off to where the cups were. “Girls don't run too far away!” Jihyo shouts and she runs after them since she was very protective over the 3 girls. “Don't worry eomma, we're only here.” Dahyun says whilst she's rummaging through the cups until she finds one she likes. “How much are these by the way?” Sana questioned and the school meal club quickly covered up where the prices were. “Oh they're only $15.” Tzuyu lies but she was easily caught since she had never been good at lying no matter how hard she tried.

“We won't be mad, since we did agree to buy them for you three. So just tell us the prices.” Jihyo explains in order to reassure the girls, which it did and Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu moved out of the way and they pointed out the price to Sana and Jihyo. When they saw how much the Stanley Cups were each, to say that they were shocked was an understatement. “$50?! For a water bottle?!” Sana basically shouts but she didn't complain much since she already agreed to pay for them.

“Yeah, but these are the best at keeping things cold.” Chaeyoung counteracts and she grabs the one she thought looked the best in her opinion, Tzuyu did the same. Jihyo just sighed heavily and she paid for them and the girls promised that they'll never break them. DaChaeTzu, showed off their Stanley Cups to everyone because they simply felt like it and when they got home they didn't fill their cups up with water, which it's typically used for, they instead filled them up with iced coffee since it would “be more ideal for rehearsal”. Throughout the rest of the day the girl took extra care of their cups and used it whenever they needed to.

Also have a Sana back

[tennisarchives]

was tagged by @drunkenromantic for the get to know me tag game 🫶 mwah thank you!

1. Do you make your bed?

no lmaoo i like having pillows strewn around everywhere

2. Favourite number?

hmmm i can never really choose. i’m slightly partial to 20 cause it’s my bday but it’s not that big of a deal for me. whenever i get custom jerseys for events and stuff, i always choose random numbers haha

3. What's your job?

uni student lmao this bitch is Not working

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

going back to any school prior to my current uni life would be hell so like. absolutely not. i used to attend a catholic school too like guys i am so serious when i say i could never go through that madness again

5. Can you parallel park?

sorta? i was able to do it pretty okay when i learned to drive but i don’t practice driving enough in general to rly say

6. Do you think aliens are real?

nah

7. Can you drive a manual car?

def not lmao

8. Guilty pleasure?

hmmm im not so sure. i admit to being a very childish person so i like a lot of “cringe” stuff haha. i suppose maybe my real guilty pleasure is online shopping cause like damn i really need to save more

9. Tattoos?

none, and i probably won’t ever get any. partly bc i’m very indecisive, partly bc i don’t like needles, but mostly bc i have really sensitive skin and a family history of skin problems so i really don’t wanna test any of that lmao. im allergic to shit like housepaint and henna ink so i am Definitely wary of injecting tattoo ink into me skdhkdjdk

10. Favourite colour?

soft shades of blue! and pastels in general

11. Favourite type of music?

pop i guess? indie pop too. although my spotify wrapped last year also had “german showtunes” on it lmao

12. Do you like puzzles?

yes! most types of puzzles are very fun for me. i don’t do jigsaws too much bc space issues but i do like them. i regularly do sudoku and crossword and other puzzle games on my phone. and i’m obsessed with escape rooms and escape room-like home puzzle kits haha

13. Any phobias?

ledges. if i’m in an enclosed space i don’t mind heights, but i’m very bothered by cliff ledges and leaning out over balconies

also cockroaches and other bugs. and rats. and lizards but only the tiny ones. aka all things i have accidentally come across at home at night at some point skdhdkdjkd

14. Favourite childhood sport?

none? i hated sports as a kid. like full on despised that shit lmaooooooo. closest is probably swimming, but i didn’t like tiring myself out at all

15. Do you talk to yourself?

yeah. especially in the bathroom lol

16. Tea or coffee?

tea. i don’t drink coffee, don’t like the taste

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

i think an artist? something like that

18. What movies do you adore?

anything animated is usually a plus in my books. also shitty old disney originals and shitty netflix romance flicks haha. i just like having fun with movies, the stupider the better

idk if anyone’s done it skdhdkdjl tagging @jabeur @fritzes @advantage-sinner @clayvedevs @aliassimes @fortyfive-forty if you want! no pressure tho 🤍

[icedteaandoldlace]

😍, 🤩 for my caity (or kamilla if you don't have anything on cait rn!), and 😭 for the writing ask game!!

😍 published lines or a section of a fic that you loved writing?

(Bit of a long snippet here, but it's my favorite part of the chapter, from Nights That Never End.)

“[...] I just want you to know that you don’t have to worry about me. I know this is all pretty heavy, and not the easiest stuff to take in, but…I don’t want you to think that I’m walking around terrified all the time, or that I can’t handle my own problems. I mean…” [Cisco] gestured aimlessly and gave a little forced laugh. “It’s not like I’m expecting you to hold my hand every time I have a bad dream or something.” His smile lingered a little too long, and the restless twisting of his fingers wasn’t helping his case any. Kamilla frowned. There were about a dozen half-formed responses flying swiftly in and out of her head, not one of which could adequately express what she wanted to say. This was the kind of moment that defined a relationship—whether Cisco realized it or not, Kamilla knew that however she reacted now would affect how he felt about opening up to her later, and it would also determine how much he would be able to do so from then on. Her mind all of a sudden made up, Kamilla cast all her thoughts of how to reply aside, and without a single word, she reached forward and took each of Cisco’s hands in her own. The fidgeting stopped at once. Cisco stared down at his hands as they stilled, a puzzled look on his face as he took in what was happening. Slowly, hesitantly, he let his hands close around Kamilla’s, and then he looked up at her, his eyes filled with an unspoken gratitude and awe. “I don’t know what you are expecting out of this relationship,” Kamilla said softly, “but if you don’t want me holding your hand, you should probably dump me right now.”

🤩 a WIP snippet about or with dialogue from ________ [name of a character]. If you don’t have one for that character, choose someone else!

(Something featuring Caitlin AND Kamilla, from my first-meeting WIP for them.)

Hey, Kamilla, it’s Caitlin, Cisco’s friend. I asked him for your number, I hope that’s okay. I was just thinking, since you guys have been getting closer and now you’re working with Iris, the two of us should get to know each other better. Are you free for brunch this Friday? Kamilla stared at the text for a few minutes, contemplating her reply. She hadn’t really met Caitlin yet—not properly, at least. She had run into her at Jitters once, having breakfast with Barry and Ralph while Kamilla was on a pre-work coffee run. It had been just a quick meeting, with Ralph doing most of the talking (if singing My Sharona but changing the words to “Vibe’s Kamilla” counted as talking), before Barry had smacked him on the shoulder, muttering something about secret identities. But Caitlin had been smiling the whole time, and in the brief moments that she and Kamilla had made eye contact, the look in her eyes had been warm.

😭 angst or sad WIP snippet

(From my Cisco vs. Amunet AU, Into the Fire)

Cisco lay with his eyes shut for a moment, taking in everything he could before he had to see where he was. He was definitely not still lying on the sidewalk where he’d passed out, and nor was he back in his cell in Amunet’s lair; he could hear the sounds of the highway outside, smell a pot of coffee that wasn’t quite fresh but wasn’t yet old, and feel sheets and a pillow and a blanket around him. He also felt a lot of pain, and metal bars on either side of him that each of his wrists was pressed up against. One thing he didn’t feel was any connection to the vibrations around him, and his stomach churned as he started to put together what was going on. Cisco lightly wiggled one hand experimentally, and he had to fight off a surge of hopelessness as he found that there was something encircling both his wrist and the bar, holding them together. He was being restrained with metacuffs. Again.

Thanks!! 🥰

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober day 9:

"Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days."

Polaroid | mistaken identity | "you're a liar."

Fandom: Sanders Sides (AU)

Prompts used: all

Oof this one took some creativity I didn't have lol, so pardon the names used. But welcome to Sanders sides superhero au, or rather, the aftermath of one. 

…

Virgil's early years were an amalgamation of too many things. He gets anxious just thinking about it, a past only a select few even knew about. Virgil's eyes glance over to his mantle- and what a world it is for him to have a fireplace mantle- where a picture frame sits face down. Some days he can look upon it with nostalgia and a small smile, other days he can't see the faces, only the things they'd had to do. 

He'd spent the last several years doing everything he hadn't been able to do then. Online classes galore, a normal job, a house, things so mundane and yet so freeing. He has a service cat- Ide is the only service cat he's ever heard of but she's special in more than one way so he supposes that makes sense- that helps him out in the day to day, to keep him from getting too overwhelmed. 

He's been doing good recently too. He can answer Patton's weekly phone calls on the second ring with minimal heart palpitations, and he'd even been considering going to their next meet up. 

He could already tell he'd never let himself live this down if he made it out. 

He'd decided to go out for coffee, there was a deal going on and it was spooky season and Virgil had woken up feeling okay. He'd get his coffee, take Patton's call when it came, and get some work done, it would be a good day. He should really know better than to jinx himself like that. 

He hadn't even made it to the coffee shop, had felt a shiver up his spine, couldn't even react before his head exploded with pain and his world dimmed. He thinks he sees Ide run off, hopes she's okay, before he can think of nothing at all. 

When Virgil was a kid- and that's what they were, they were kids- he and five other of the neighborhood children had been out late one night. Virgil hadn't really chosen to come, had been kicked out and dragged along by Remus, ever excited to explore in the dark. It had happened like a movie really, some bright light, a crash, the whole dramatic speech from some being from another planet- an Alien named Thomas of all things, though maybe that's just what it sounded like to their ears. 

Exposure to the crash had of course granted them powers. Powers they were expected to use to defend Earth again the foes that had followed Thomas. Virgil thinks the cosmic forces at play made the wrong choice, at least with him, but definitely for choosing kids. Still, for whatever reason, seeing the others put themselves in danger had stirred him the wrong way. He'd ended up fighting alongside them, it was rough but they'd somehow managed to survive. 

So why, after several years of no longer being some stinken 'super hero' and living a semi-normal life, is he being kidnapped!?

"I see you're awake. Took you long enough, Sandine." 

Ah… well frack. How the hell did this guy mix up Virgil with Thomas, Virgil is a complete mess. 

"Yes, I know who you are. You and your team may have disappeared, but the impact you made stayed, I haven't forgotten what you've done. And now, finally, I can make you pay!" 

Virgil almost wants to laugh, how ironic, the guy who fought only because he wanted to protect the others, is captured in place of one of them. What a world Virgil lives in. 

"I'm sure you're wondering how I figured it out." 

Damn, this dude had no idea how to do the villain thing, maybe Virgil is on a hidden camera show… one where head trauma is okay… so just an ameteur, Virgil could work with that, maybe. 

The guy begins to pace in front of the tank he'd put Virgil in- one he can only assume has adtonium in it to keep his powers at bay- gearing up for a long speech. Virgil squirms in his binding, robe burn be damned, as he glares in the general direction of his kidnapper,

"You see, you all were not nearly as secretive as you thought! My uncle, a mere henchmen, was able to capture this photo!" He produces an actual polaroid from his person, wrinkled from years of handling, and though Virgil can't see it super clear through the tank, the costumes on the three figures are familiar, "You were stupid enough to remove your masks, and now, I have you. The great Sandine, captured at last, with no little team to save you. Your life will end, your powers will be mine, and those who oppose me will fall one by one!" His laugh is too pitchy, his speech boring, but Virgil is a little impressed. To find, capture, and contain one of them is a feat, and to supposedly have the technology to steal a power, well it's intriguing at least. 

But he wont be getting the powers he thinks, and this guy will not be able to handle them in the slightest. But to do that, this guy needed to be convinced that Virgil was Thomas, so he should probably say something quippy and heroic…

"You're laugh sucks." Well… that was something at least. 

"I'm telling you Logan, he hasn't missed a call in ages!" Patton paces in the kitchen, piles upon piles of cookies filling the counters, phone pressed between shoulder and ear. 

"Patton, if you worry any more I will have to assume you are Virgil." 

"This is not a joking matter Logan, but good job." He turns to place another tray down to cool when he sees something at his window, "uh… Logan, remind me, am I allergic to all cats or are alien ones an exception?" He squints, trying to see familiar markings. 

"You know we have only met one alien animal, Patton so the results are inconclusive. However Ide was an exception, yes, why do you ask?" 

"Because Ide is at my window, without Virgil, and something is definitely wrong!" He rushes to said window, throwing it open as Ide limps his way through, nerves twist his gut up like only a friend in danger can as the cat meows loudly. "Logan. Call the others." There's no room for argument in Patton's voice as he hangs up, something happened to Virgil. 

"Just a few more adjustments and we'll test this baby out!" 

"Wow, how embarrassing for you." 

"Stop that! Gah, how the press thought you were an angel with that much snark I'll never know!" 

"You just bring out the worst in me." 

Virgil's wrists ache something terrible, rope having cut into skin at this point and he supposes he should be glad his jacket was taken from him before all this lest it be ruined now. He's eyeing the cliche laser gun above him, then the little drains in the floor and wondering idly if he expects a mess or if they'll be draining into his tank rather than out. 

"Soon, I'll know the secrets of the galaxy, and you'll be dust beneath my boots!" 

Wow, this guy thought Thomas knew everything? He'd be flattered sure, but he was far from omnipotent. And Virgil questions everything, even the things that don't need to be questioned! 

"You want to know stuff? Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days. There's always something more, something lurking, if you knew everything your head would literally explode, and you're not allowed to do that without The Duke here." 

"You're a liar, you just want to keep everything to yourself!"

Virgil could correct him, after all Janus was the one with the whole lying schtick. Had to do with his powers and stuff of course, but even before that he was known to lie in stressful situations. His defense as it was, and one that Virgil had taken too long to realize. 

"It doesn't matter anyway, it's ready, say goodbye Sandine!" 

The lazer lights up as bubbling liquid fills in from below and he hates when he's right, his struggles renew as he finally lets his panic, well panic. The feeling he'd been ignoring, that emptiness that had been dragging him down, is ten times worse now- except… It's fading now. That idiot, did he… turn off the thing keeping his powers at bay? 

"You want my powers?" Virgil's wrists finally slide free, smeared with red, purple and black mist swirls around him for the first time in a long time, "Here ya go." 

"Wait. That's not-" 

The lazer goes off, the liquid makes his feet slip, the tank explodes as his powers fill the room with his scream of agony. Trying desperately to find the threat, unable to flee, searching for what to fight, the man screams in terror, but Virgil barely hears it over his own. The machine ignites in a fiery mess, the lazer dying out, but as Virgil slumps his powers stutter. 

The man lifts shaking hands, wild eyes flitting around the room, the gun in his hand goes off and Virgil's powers shrink until they fold into that place within him, pounding against an invisible wall, the emptiness returns tenfold and with no resistance drags him down. His ankles, still tied to the chair, twist uncomfortable as the thing tumbles sideways with him. The bubbling liquid burns but he can't seem to move, a glow has his eyes lowering, and there, embedded in his shoulder, just barely above his heart, is the gray space stone adtonium. 

Huh… guess this is how it goes down. Nothing to hear but the mad ramblings of an unstable villain wannabe, skin burning, chest aching, and powers locked away, alone. 

At least it wasn't Thomas… or any of the others…

"Virgil! Is he okay!?" 

"M'fine."

"What a shitshow, Nightmare." 

"Everything will be dreadful soon, Vee. We won't be handling the rest, so do worry."  

"Mkay… 'ake a nap now…" 

"Virgil don't you dare!" 

"Just hang in there buddy!"

"We'll get you home safe stormcloud."

"Please remain still Virgil, this will only hurt for a moment." 

"Falsehood." Virgil's eyes close, he yells at the yanking, and the sudden burst of powers freed, and thinks this was a positively dreadful day. 

But it could have been worse.

[abbatoirablaze]

Running From A Dream, Chapter 8

Word Count:  855

Steve and Bucky stared at one another, their eyes meeting in a harsh glare.  But Bucky was the first to break it when he heard noises behind them.  His brow raised when he saw a garbage truck backing into the alley behind them to get the morning trash.

Steve looked away from Bucky to look at the scene as well.

“What did you do, Buck?”

“I didn’t do anything,” he said quickly.  He looked around the corner of the building and noticed some light peering through the clouds.  He gasped, seeing the sun rising, “Steve…you have to see this.”

Steve, forgetting about his issues with his friend took a few steps until he was by Bucky’s side, and he looked around the corner. Both men were amazed by the skyscrapers that surrounded them, but even more so, they were enthralled by the sun rising over the tops of them.

“A-are we in the real world?”

Bucky nodded his head, “I think so, punk.”

“But how?”

“Annalise,” Bucky gasped, his attention turning back around, “sh-she must have pulled us through the dream vortex…she-“

“Why would she do that?”

“Jefferson,” Bucky whispered, remembering the steely eyes of his maker before he was frozen in his spot in what felt like moments ago, “he must have come to her.  She must have-“

“I’m going to find her then!” Steve said quickly, cutting his friend off, “I don’t know where she is, but she must be close.  This place looks familiar enough from dreams.  I’m going to find the love of my life, Buck.”

“Steve, she-“

“Don’t follow me,” he said angrily, “I don’t want you following me, thinking that if you do, she’ll somehow choose you.”

“She wants me!” Bucky growled, stepping up to his friend, “she dreamed of me.  You even said so yourself.”

“She’s confused, Buck.  She doesn’t need you,” Steve growled in response, “she could never want you.  You’re a nightmare.  Go do whatever nightmares do in the real world.  I’m going to do what dreams do, and go sweep my girl off her feet.”

You hadn’t been able to shake the thoughts of Steve and Bucky all morning.  The only thing you could do was worry that Jefferson, the man from your dreams, had done something to them.  And it made you nearly sick to your stomach. 

But what could you do? 

You were out in the real world, while they were being ‘recreated.’  They wouldn’t remember you when you saw them next, and Jefferson was sure that you’d never see them again. 

So, with a heavy heart, you decided to start your day. 

And what better way than with a pick me up; one that you desperately needed from your favorite coffee shop. 

It was only a few blocks from your place, and with no better option in mind you made your way to it, trying desperately not to think about Steve or Bucky. 

“Hey Annalise,” your favorite barista called when you walked through the door.  You offered her a polite smile as you walked up to the counter, “you want your regular?”

“Oh no…I-I was thinking of trying something new,” you smiled, starting your joke “a la-“

“Large black coffee with two pumps of mocha and a pump of cinnamon syrup,” a voice finished for you.  You felt your shiver run down your spine as you turned and came face to face with none other than Steve, his voice crisp and fresh against the shell of your ear, “sweetheart…I’ve been waiting for you…you’re late…”

Your breath caught in your throat, and nervousness coursed through your veins as you stared at the man who looked like he was a god, “Steve…”

“Of course, baby…”

“Oh, Annie, is this your husband?”

“Steve,” he smiled charmingly, holding out his hand.  The barista took it, warmly greeting him before going off to make your drink.  You looked back at him in shock, before your eyes trailed back to the door, “you okay, sweetheart?”

“B-Bucky?”

Steve frowned, “I thought you wanted me, sweetheart…”

“I must be dreaming again,” you sighed, looking around the café.  But it all felt too real.  Steve put a hand on your waist and you looked at him, “th-this has to be a dream.  I-I’m dreaming.  I-“

“It’s not a dream, sweetheart,” he said calmly, his charming smile still on his face, “you pulled me back out with you when you left.  Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“I-I have to go.  You shouldn’t be here, Steve.  I have to go!” you said quickly, backing up.  Steve’s brow furrowed and you turned to walk quickly out of the coffee shop.

“Annie!” the barista called after you, holding your coffee up.  She frowned when she saw you walking out, Steve trailing closely behind. 

But it was Steve that grabbed your arm, whipping you around to face him as soon as you reached a gap in the buildings.  You jumped, only to have Steve wrap his arms around your waist and pull you to himself. 

Your lips clashed in a heated frenzy, Steve’s grip never once loosening as he moaned softly against your lips. 

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