#okay i'm logging off for the day hopefully that all was too much for me lmao

[lunar-years]

it's unfortunate that twitter is the most convenient place to find TL news and latest pictures because wow the fandom over there is really a cesspool. I so need them to learn it's not actually funny to make fun of the cast for losing and then TAG the creators in said petty comments all over SHIPS. if you hate the show so deeply to be cheering in joy over its award show demise and echoing the commentary of the people who have always thought ted lasso was trash, just because you think it's appropriate ~revenge~ for a bad season like uhhh. maybe it's time to take a step back and leave the fandom because you clearly aren't enjoying yourself. and then the audacity to get on there every day demanding a season 4?? like what about the way they tweet at them do they think is enticing these creators to want to make more?

[roosterforme]

The Younger Kind Part 7 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley goes on his second date with Amanda. She's beautiful, sweet, and so into him. But you're on his mind like always and he needs to do something to finally get you out of his head and out of his system. He has an all too willing participant.

Warnings: Smut, angst, swearing, fluff, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4600 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

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On Saturday evening, Bradley was getting ready for his second date with Amanda. He had been steadily beating himself up since you left on Friday morning. He could tell you were upset with him. Honestly, he was upset with himself. Kissing you while he was drunk had been bad. Seriously some college fuckboy shit. Probably worse than the guys your own age, because he should know better. Because he was so much older than you. 

And then he had kept you here all night, basically hijacking you when he should have sent you home. Instead, he had taken you to his bed. 

But now, the joke was on him, because his entire fucking room smelled like you. When he had tried to fall asleep on Friday night, his pillow smelled like a field of wildflowers. And then all he could picture were your glossy lips, pouting with a bright red Skittle perched between them. 

His dick was rock hard after that, and it had been almost painful how badly he needed to masturbate to the thought of you at midnight, his face buried in his pillow.

But that was yesterday. Now he was fresh out of the shower, where he had masturbated again, this time thinking about you in those cutoff denim shorts you had. At least now he was considerably less wound up as he let Noah play on his bed while he picked out something to wear to this film festival with Amanda. 

Amanda. Yes. Now she seemed like a safe bet. She checked off all of his boxes, and she was definitely giving off the vibe that she was into him. She had even been the one to initiate plans for the second date. 

"Should daddy wear this on his date tonight?" he asked Noah who was playing with some stuffed animals. He held up jeans and another Hawaiian print shirt. 

"For the babysitter?" he asked, perking up. 

Bradley swallowed hard. He wished. "No, bub. You get to hang out with your babysitter. I'm going to watch some movies with another woman."

Noah turned back to his stuffed panda and said, "Stay home and play with us. And eat ants on logs."

Bradley dropped the clothing onto his bed and ran his hands over his face. He stood there in his underwear for a minute, taking deep breaths. 

"Noah, I'm going out with this lady so that hopefully you can meet her one day, okay?"

He listened to his son mispronounce your name. "I thought she was your favorite."

Bradley groaned, yanking on his jeans. "She is, bub. That's the problem."

He heard you let yourself in and call out his name.

"Bradley? Noah? I'm here."

Noah slid off the bed and ran out of the room as soon as he heard your voice. Bradley also felt like running into the living room to give you a hug. Instead he finished getting dressed and ran his fingers through his hair to make it look better. But when he made his way to the living room and spotted you holding Noah, wearing those cutoff shorts and a tank top, Bradley thought maybe he should have jerked off again. 

"Hi," you whispered to him, trying to keep your expression neutral. Bradley wasn't sure if you were still upset with him because he had kissed you, but he did promise not to let it happen again. He would also wake you up if you ever dozed off on the couch again. 

"Princess." The name was out of his mouth before he could take it back, and he watched your expression change. Now you looked pleased with yourself as you set Noah down. 

"You look nice," you told him. "For your second date."

He laughed. "Yeah, I guess I have you to thank for that, since you fixed my app for me."

Bradley watched your face fall a little bit. "That must be it," you agreed. "Where are you going?" you asked as you pulled some coloring books out of your bag and held them out for Noah. 

"A film festival. In Balboa Park," Bradley replied. He watched Noah select the dog themed book and plop down right on the living room floor with it. 

You ruffled Noah's hair and handed him a box of crayons, and Bradley was once again aching for you.

"A film festival? Sounds right up your alley," you told him. You chewed on your lip for a beat before you added, "Maybe you should take your pajama pants and some popcorn."

Bradley could picture cuddling with you and feeding you popcorn in this room so easily, he needed to close his eyes and take a deep breath. 

"Nah, I'd miss my own couch too much," he promised you. 

"Ah, I see. Maybe for your third date then? You might need your couch?"

No.

He thought it so quickly. Almost said it out loud. Because he honestly could not picture bringing Amanda here after a third date.

Instead he said, "We'll see."

You nodded before you sat on the floor next to Noah. "Well, have fun."

Bradley cleared his throat. "If the two of you need your crowns, Noah's is on his dresser. And yours is on my bedpost."

Your eyes popped up to meet his, and your lips parted. He had hung it there again after you moved it before you left for your class yesterday. It was where it belonged.

"Thanks," you whispered. 

----------------------

As soon as Bradley left, you could feel your body sagging. You watched Noah color while you took a minute to catch your breath. A second date wasn't the most serious thing in the world, but you needed to get over him now. Before it got any worse. Because even if not with Amanda, there would eventually be a third date, and a fourth, and a sleepover, and a relationship. 

You felt sick now. 

"Can you color that dog green?" Noah asked, looking at you with his sweet face and handing you a crayon. "What's wrong?" he asked, climbing into your lap and mispronouncing your name.

"Nothing is wrong, Noah. I get to color with you and make you dinner."

He settled back onto the floor and said, "I wanted daddy to stay here tonight."

You sighed. "That would have been nice." You wondered what this woman looked like. She must have been pretty. Most of the women you saw messaging had pretty profile photos. They all looked like real adults, too. Women who had established careers, and maybe kids of their own. The kind of woman Bradley was looking for. 

"Are you hungry?" you asked Noah. "Want me to make you some spaghetti?"

You tried your best not to let your thoughts stray to Bradley, but when you opened the refrigerator to get some milk out for Noah, you saw that Bradley had purchased two more bottles of the French vanilla coffee creamer. You knew he must have preferred hazelnut, but he seemed to have switched to your favorite flavor. 

You slammed the door shut hard enough that Noah jumped in his seat. "Sorry," you whispered, kissing the top of his head and pouring him some milk. "Okay, time for spaghetti."

Apparently Bradley liked you well enough to keep you coming back to babysit, but not enough that he would kiss you again when he wasn't drunk and rambling about how pretty he thought you were. 

----------------------

Amanda was snuggled up against Bradley on the picnic blanket she had brought. He was already sitting awkwardly as it was, and now his back was starting to hurt as she was pressing her body along his arm. He could feel her breasts rubbing against his bicep, and he wasn't sure what he should do about it. 

"Mind if I lay back?" he asked, feeling like this date was not going as well as dinner had two nights ago.

"Sounds good," Amanda practically purred, planting her palm against his chest and pushing Bradley back. When he propped his arm behind his head, he was still able to see the gigantic screen that had been set up in the park, but soon Amanda was laying on his chest, blocking the view.

"Oh, okay," he whispered, and she smiled, resting her chin on his chest.

"I mean, we weren't really watching it anyway, right?" Amanda asked, and a really adorable smile lit up her face as she licked her lips. She was pretty. And now she was scooting up along his body, her dress pulling a bit, exposing more of the tops of her breasts. 

Bradley swallowed hard, and then her lips were on his. She pushed her fingers into his hair, but it kind of tickled more than anything, and Bradley was barely returning the kiss. It wasn't bad, but he also had no problem keeping both hands tucked underneath his head. 

Amanda moaned softly, and he supposed it would have been enough to get him going, but now he was thinking about how his bed still smelled like you. When he tried to go to sleep later, he was probably going to get hard again. Harder than Amanda would be able to get him with her mouth on him. 

Bradley pulled back a tiny bit, and thankfully his phone vibrated in his pocket. "Gotta check that, sorry," he muttered, unlocking his phone to see that you had sent him an image. He opened it with a pounding heart and clumsy fingers, revealing a photo of Noah in his crown, writing DADDY on a sheet of yellow construction paper. 

Bradley just wanted to be at home. 

"Everything okay?" Amanda asked, sounding a little impatient.  

"Uh, yeah. One second," he mumbled, sending you a text back.

Are you wearing your crown too?

Almost instantly you wrote back to him, and Bradley was excited to see another photo of you in your crown. But he didn't get one.

Babysitter: No. I'm not feeling like much of a princess tonight. Enjoy your date.

Bradley sat up again, not sure why that bothered him so much. 

"What's wrong?" Amanda asked. 

"Nothing," he insisted, and then she was touching him again, her lips gliding along his neck. 

"Good," she whispered, running her hand along his arm and lacing her fingers with his. And then thankfully the credits started rolling, and everyone on the neighboring blankets started to stand up. 

"Movie's over," Bradley said like a straight up dunce, getting to his feet and pulling Amanda up as well. He checked his phone again. It was almost 10:30 and you hadn't said anything else to him. 

"Oh, well, it's early. How about we go get dessert or coffee?" Amanda asked, insisting on keeping her fingers linked with his. "Or.... I could show you my place?"

Bradley just grunted. "I need to get back to my babysitter."

"Right," Amanda replied. "Walk me to my car?"

Bradley nodded, and managed to get her in her car only after she kissed him and rubbed herself against the front of his body. She moaned into his mouth, and Bradley honestly didn't know what the fuck was wrong with him. She was perfect, and she was clearly keen on fucking him. 

He broke away, and when he was about to tell her good night, she said, "Call me and we can set up another date." But he just nodded and started to head for his Bronco. 

-----------------------

After you gave Noah a bath and got him changed into pajamas, you and he shared a snack. 

"Can you teach my dad how to make the ants on the logs?" he asked as you carried him to his bed.

You chuckled. "I can try, Noah, but I don't know if he could even handle doing that much in the kitchen."

Noah sighed and snuggled in with his stuffed animals. "The food is better with you here," he said with a yawn, and you rubbed his back until he was sleeping. 

Then you went about your routine of picking up toys, cleaning the kitchen, and getting some food prepared for the boys. Because even if it broke your heart to know that Bradley didn't want you, there was just no way you could leave him and Noah hanging. You started by making more carrot sticks for them, and then you moved on to a few dinners before curling up on the couch with your textbooks and some Skittles. 

Bradley's date must have been going well. It was pretty late, and you were trying not to think about it. You had clinicals coming up, and you needed to study. You made it about thirty minutes into your reading by the time you thought you heard Bradley pulling into the driveway. And when he rushed inside you looked up at him, just as you popped an orange Skittle into your mouth. 

"Princess," he muttered, smiling softly at you. 

"Bradley."

"Why aren't you wearing your crown?" he asked, closing the door behind him, but never taking his eyes off you.

You laughed, popping two yellow Skittles between your lips as you closed up your book and put it in your bag. "Why aren't you still on your date?"

"I asked you first," he insisted, and you rolled your eyes. 

"I just felt more like a peasant than a princess. That's all. Now, why are you home already?"

Bradley's brow was scrunched as he sat down right in the middle of the couch, his leg rubbing yours as you immediately stood. He looked up at you, saying, "I'm not really sure." He eyed you up and down where you stood in front of him, like you were on display for his eyes only. "And you're no peasant."

His gaze was making you feel warm as you ate the last Skittle and dropped the wrapper into your bag. "I guess you're the peasant. No Skittles for you tonight," you told him. But he just responded by licking his lips. 

"I don't deserve any," he told you, and you watched his huge hands as they slowly rubbed up and down his thighs. You thought about climbing in his lap, kissing him and letting him get a taste of the candy after all. 

Instead you told him, "You'll let me know when you're going on your third date, and I'll come over to stay with Noah." And then you hoisted your bag up higher on your shoulder. 

"I don't think there's going to be a third date," he told you, his voice so deep now, it reminded you of when you heard him in the kitchen early yesterday morning. 

"Oh." You weren't sure what to think about that. You'd psyched yourself up all night long, gotten used to the fact that this Amanda woman was going to be getting to sleep in his bed with him, unlike you. And now, maybe that wasn't actually the case. "What's the problem? She tell you she hates salad dressing?"

He shook his head. "Worse. She was pretty and nice and funny, but I didn't want to touch her."

"That's a shame," you whispered, remembering exactly how his hands and his kisses felt. "Well. You know how to reach me." Bradley was staring at your lips as you turned to leave, and you pulled the door closed behind you without another glance at him. 

---------------------

Bradley was about to beg you to stay. You were the same, still funny, witty and sharp as a tack, but he could tell you were irritated with him. He wanted to get you back to joking around in the kitchen with him. He wanted to kiss you again, push you up against his furniture. While he was sober, so you knew he meant it. 

But you were turning to leave, and he wasn't sure when you'd be back, because he didn't have any more dates planned. And he couldn't make himself want Amanda, no matter how hard he tried. 

Just as he was about to suggest you stay and have a beer with him, you were turning to leave without gracing him with another glimpse of your pretty face.

"Fuck," he groaned as the door closed behind you. "You fucking idiot," he growled, picturing those Skittles brushing against your lips before you crunched on them. He rubbed his hand along his dick through his jeans. He was hard and getting harder now, and that's when he caught sight of your hoodie on the couch next to him.

Bradley grabbed it and buried his face in it, inhaling the wildflower smell and stroking himself again. "Princess," he grunted, running his nose along the fabric. "Oh, fuck."

He unbuttoned his jeans and eased the zipper down, knowing there was only one way he was going to get a little bit of relief, short of enjoying your body right now. With one more deep inhale, Bradley let his hand glide down his abs, ready to pull his jeans down. He groaned your name this time. And then the front door opened again.

"I forgot my hoodie- Oh!" you gasped, eyes wide as you took in the sight before you. Bradley had his hand close to his cock, and your shirt was balled up in his fist, near his nose.

He was hoping you'd just turn around and leave again, pretend you didn't see any of this. He was completely mortified as he dropped your hoodie to try to cover his open zipper and his underwear from your view. At least he hadn't pulled himself out yet.

But instead of leaving, you pushed the door closed, with you firmly inside his house. You took a delicate step toward him, nibbling on your lip with your eyes trained on his. 

"Were you saying my name?" you asked softly, taking another step in his direction. He was so mesmerized by your body, with your bare legs on display, he started nodding before he could stop himself. 

"Yeah, Princess," he groaned, and he knew his cheeks must be bright red.

He watched you reach up and touch your neck. "Shouldn't you be moaning Amanda's name?" you whispered, and Bradley was treated to the sight of you pressing your fingertips to your lips. 

He just shook his head, and now you were standing right in front of him, so close he could touch you. You knew now. He was certain you knew exactly what you were doing to him. There was no turning back. 

"No, Princess. Amanda doesn't make me hard like you do."

"You were thinking about me?"

Bradley nodded. "That's the problem. I can't stop thinking about you." He couldn't believe he said that. He was going to die of mortification. 

But you whimpered, and Bradley was bucking up against nothing as your eyes dropped to his barely concealed erection. 

You bent at the waist, resting both of your palms on his knees, and Bradley was treated to a nice view down your shirt. You licked your lips, and he was about to lean forward and kiss you as you said, "I can help you with that. If you want."

Then you slowly pulled your hoodie off of his lap and glanced down. Bradley's cock was hard and huge, aching as you were touching him now. Before he could answer, he watched you sink down to your knees and settle in between his splayed legs. You were rubbing his thighs through his jeans, and his heart was pounding so hard, he thought he might pass out. 

Your voice was so soft and sweet. "Do you want me to?"

The only thing Bradley wanted was for you to take care of this for him. For him to be able to feel your hands on his body. He groaned as you ran your fingers up and over his cock, squeezing him through his jeans. 

"Oh, yeah, Princess. Please."

And then you were guiding his jeans and underwear down until he was springing to attention, finally free from the tight fabric. 

Your glossy lips were parted, and your eyes were wide as you reached for him, wrapping one hand gently around his length. You stroked him once, and Bradley almost shot up off the couch, it felt so good. 

Then you kissed his tip, swiping his precum away with your tongue, and Bradley was leaning forward and tipping your chin up to meet his eyes. 

"Princess," he groaned, running his thumb along your lips. "You done this before?" He wanted you so badly, but he couldn't stand the thought of this being your first foray into oral sex. He was simply too far gone for something so delicate. 

You parted your lips and licked his thumb with a smirk. "Yeah. Once or twice, Bradley." Your tone was sarcastic, and he throbbed in your hand. "I am in college, you know. I'll take excellent care of you, I promise," you whispered, kissing his tip again while you kept eye contact with him.

"Yeah," he grunted. "That's what I'm afraid of." He stroked your cheek, watching your every move intently. When your perfect lips parted and wrapped around his cock, Bradley ran both of his hands through his hair before fisting them at his sides. You were barely sucking on him, just the tip, but it felt so fucking good he was already panting. 

When your tongue popped out to swirl around him, he tipped his head back and groaned. "Princess," he hissed, his cock leaping in your hand as you let your thumb trail down his full length to his balls. "Goddamn it."

He watched you smirk and open your mouth wider, taking as much of him as you could. You bobbed on his length, pushing him deep enough that you were starting to gag. And that was it; Bradley's hands flew to your face, stroking your cheeks softly with his fingers before pushing back along your hair.

You watched his face as you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked harder. "Oh, fuck," he growled, neck and shoulders straining against the urge to fuck your face until he came. He didn't want to do that, not right now, because this slow agony you were putting him through was fucking fantastic. 

When you slowly dragged your lips back to his tip and popped him out of your mouth, Bradley was treated to the sight of your wide eyes and your tongue peeking out to wet your lips. You looked so fucking innocent. So young. So filthy with your tongue laving along the underside of his cock, keeping him nice and wet. 

Then you moaned softly, and Bradley hissed your name. 

You eyes met his with a soft, hazy look as you ran the tip of your nose down to his balls. "God, you're so big," you whispered, kissing him there. "Are all Daddys this big?" you asked him. 

Bradley pulled gently on your hair, tipping your head back to look at him, keeping you steady with his other hand on your neck. The softest sound escaped your parted lips as he leaned forward a bit. "Call me Daddy again."

Your lip trembled as you nodded with Bradley's hand tight around a fistful of your hair. "Okay. Daddy."

His primal moan filled the living room, as he watched you rub your cheek against the angry, red head of his cock. 

Then your perfect lips were on him again, your tongue treating him to sensations he couldn't ever remember feeling. He tried to keep his hands gentle on your face and hair, but you felt too good. He found himself guiding you a little slower, needing to make this last as long as physically possible.

You took him until you gagged again, and Bradley was seeing stars. "You're so fucking good, Princess," he groaned, but that just seemed to egg you on as you went harder. Bradley watched you take him impossibly deeper, feeling the rub of your throat along his tip. He could feel himself moving against your throat where his hand was now gripping you, and he just gaped at you, mouth hanging wide open as you licked and sucked. 

When you released him again, you used both hands to stroke him as you kissed the tip. "Do you like this, Daddy?"

Bradley's eyes were practically rolling back in his head. "Oh yeah," he grunted, thrusting up into your palm as you tickled and squeezed his balls in one small hand. 

"Do you want to cum in my mouth?" you asked him, eyes glittering as you kitten licked along his cock. He was throbbing in time with your little licks and kisses, and he leaned forward to kiss your forehead. 

"God, baby. So bad," he grunted, pushing you down gently with his palm on the back of your head. He saw you grin and heard you giggle, and he couldn't get enough. When you parted your lips for him, you guided him toward your plush tongue, tapping him against you there. Then you wrapped your mouth around him once more, and Bradley knew he wasn't going to last long. 

The obscene, wet sounds. Your soft moans. The vibrations along his dick. You were bobbing hard and fast now as he chanted Princess.... Princess!

You took him so deep, he could feel your lip and you saliva on his tightening balls as you sucked him hard. He knew his fingers were digging into your scalp, and you were squeezing his hip now. When your gaze met his, Bradley really felt his control slipping. 

"No, no, no," he whispered, wanting this to last forever. It was so good. You were too good at this. And he would be lying to himself if he said your pretty, innocent looking face wasn't making him even harder for you. 

You must have been able to tell he was close when you wrapped one hand around the base of him. You swirled your tongue while you jerked your mouth around him with such finesse, Bradley couldn't believe you were only twenty four. "So fucking good," he groaned. "God damn it!"

And then you took him like a champ, all of his thrusts hit the back of your throat, but you barely flinched, keeping your gaze on his. Your eyes were watering now, and you whimpered as he filled your mouth and throat up with his hot cum. 

It had been so long since he had been with a woman, but he didn't think he'd ever had an orgasm that lasted this long. He was still groaning, fingers gentle at the back of your head as you swallowed him down. Then you came back for more, slowly gliding your mouth back down his length before popping him out again. 

He whispered, "Princess. Fuck," as he watched you lick up the additional beads of cum that you coaxed out of him. And then Bradley was spent, sitting back against the couch in a daze. He stroked his fingers along your cheek and chin, caressing you as you continued to lovingly kiss and lick his cock as he started to grow soft in your hands. 

"You okay, Daddy?" you asked him, wiping up some of his cum from the corner of your lips.

"Princess," he whispered as you nuzzled against his hand. "You learned a lot in college, huh?"

You just giggled, and reached your finger out to his lips. Bradley opened his mouth for you, and licked up his own cum, loving the look in your half lidded eyes. He watched you lick your finger after he was done with it, and then you stood up. He thought about asking you to stay with him, but instead he just sat there with his cock hanging out and watched you pull on your hoodie. 

"Let me know when you need me again," you told him with a smirk before leaning down and kissing his forehead. Then you left again without another word. 

--------------------------

Bradley got his dick wet with the babysitter. Bye, Amanda. Enjoy your babysitter fic @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 8

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[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 115 (Getting Cozy With New Friends?)

The events of this post occurred after New Year's Eve at the Salty Paw (Generation 2 Pts. 106 and 107).

After an eventful holiday season, Heather Nesbitt phoned her youngest sister on New Year's Day. Hazel checked the call display and forced a smile. "Hey Big Sis, what are you up to?"

"Hey, Little Dandelion. Just watching the Holiday Yule Log on repeat (totally autonomously) before I do some bookkeeping for the clinic. Helps me focus, and they haven't taken it off the air yet this year. How are you doing?"

"Pretty awful," Hazel admitted. "I'm sorry we just left without saying goodbye last night. We were too busy giving each other the cold shoulder all the way back to Henford."

"Don't apologize. I'm glad you got home safely, but I know things between you aren't okay. I think we all hoped things would get better after you talked on Winterfest Day."

"We didn't really talk. We skated and went home and just didn't fight for a few days."

Heather frowned. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Hazel shook her head. "Not right now. I want to have a nap and then get out of the house for the night. It's weird being here surrounded by her family all the time. I feel like her mother and brother are constantly judging me."

"They love Nicola like we love you," Heather said. "But she shouldn't talk to you like she does. You don't deserve it. I'm willing to bet that a lot of what she's going through isn't even really about you."

Hazel sighed. "I just make it all worse."

Heather loved her baby sister and would always support her, but she never would have advised Hazel's next move.

To end a New Year's Day where Hazel spent as much time avoiding Nicola and her family as possible, she found herself drinking screwdrivers at the pub that night. She was alone, again, until she met Suri Romeo and flirted over drinks until well after midnight.

When the pub closed, they continued with a stroll along the River Bagley. The place near the village green, which had earlier that day been packed with locals for the annual Polar Bear Swim, was devoid of any lamplights, but Hazel could still make out Suri's smile in the light of the moon. "Are you happily married, Hazel?"

She didn't want to answer and pulled Suri in for a kiss. It felt electric - nothing like the kisses she shared with her wife. Not now, and maybe not ever.

But she thought of Nicola back home, probably asleep and snoring a little. Her wedding vows meant she wasn't supposed to do this, and she pulled away with a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry," she said. "My wife."

Suri nodded with an understanding smile. "I'm living with my grandparents at their farm in Old New Henford. Call me when you figure out some things."

But Hazel called Suri long before she had anything "figured out," inviting her to the first Finchwick Fair of the new year. "I have to be there with Mayor Varner, but it's really a great opportunity for you to live like a true Henford local," she told Suri, and they met outside the village green on a sunny winter afternoon.

"Did your wife not want to be here?" Suri wondered.

"She's grading papers and the Finchwick Fair isn't really her thing. She loves gardening, but she hasn't done much of it lately." Nicola recalled the woman she used to know with some regret before quickly brushing it away and returning her focus to Suri. "Here, I saw this video that made me think of you. It's a cat, but he's a chef. It's called ChefCat!"

They were interrupted by friendly Mayor Varner, who was happy to meet anyone in his town at any time. "Hello there! I'd never miss a new face!"

"Mayor Varner, this is Suri Romeo. She's just moved to town to learn to be a great chef from her grandmother, Clara Bjergsen."

"Ah! The Bjergsens are wonderful citizens! And your grandmother's baked goods are the reason I'm out of shape."

Suri smiled. "Hopefully one day I'll be just as good as she is."

"You'll have a wonderful mentor. Welcome to town, Miss Romeo!" He turned to a starry-eyed Nicola. "How are those new year's reports coming, Hazel?"

"I should be done this week, sir. It's a lot of information to put together."

He frowned. They both knew he'd expected those reports on his desk last week, but the work was a drag, and he'd given her too many previous extensions. She forced a smile for her boss.

When it got a little cooler, Hazel and Suri went inside the pub to warm up. They danced to some holiday music still playing on the in-house stereo, before Hazel pulled a sprig of mistletoe from the ceiling. "Laura must've forgotten to take this down with the rest of the Winterfest decorations," she mused, but she held it playfully over her head anyway. Suri laughed, leaning in to kiss her quickly on the lips.

Hazel glanced around. The bar was mostly empty with most patrons enjoying the fair outside, but they knew they shouldn't be spotted doing what they were doing.

They continued to see one another in secret, hanging out at the community garden in Old New Henford to get to know one another. Suri told Hazel about life growing up in an apartment in San Myshuno with her parents and brothers, and about visits to Henford to see her grandparents and aunts every summer. She even told her about her mother's cousin Olivia, who was a basketball star at Foxbury Institute.

Hazel was happy to talk about her family - her parents, her sisters, her brother, all her in-laws and nieces and nephews - but not her wife. And she knew her friendship with Suri was dangerous. She wanted Suri all to herself and didn't want her wife to know anything about her.

As the snow melted beneath her jacket, Hazel would cloudgaze (even in Henford's mild, sunny winter climate) and imagine herself with Suri. Not Nicola.

She knew marriage counseling was the best course of action, but when she looked at Nicola, she didn't want to do it. When Suri entered her life, she could finally admit to herself what she'd tried to mask for years. Hazel was no longer attracted to her objectively beautiful wife, and no amount of counseling would bring her feelings back.

She grew increasingly careless in her time spent with Suri. She told Suri she wanted out, but conversations with Nicola these days always ended in tears. She didn't tell anyone what was going on because she knew they'd tell her to be better. To talk to Nicola, to end things with Suri before they went too far, to be a bigger person. She'd lost her will to care about any of it.

On Sportsball Sunday, Hazel wanted to go to the Gnome's Arms to watch the game. River had invited her to her childhood home, but Suri would be at the pub. She was getting ready to go when her girlfriend surprised her at home in the Bramblewood.

"What are you doing here? I was just leaving."

"I came to tell you my little cousin Jada heard at school that you and I are seeing each other."

Hazel froze. If kids at school were talking about Mrs. Moody-Nesbitt's wife having an affair, then... Sure enough, Nicola met them in the yard with a churlish grin.

"Oh good! You're both here, so I only need to get mad once before I forget either of you and leave while Hazel packs her things."

Hazel was quiet, letting Nicola unleash a torrent of disappointment at her affair. "It kills me Hazel. I wanted a family with you. It's all we talked about for years, but then I lost my dad and you cheated. And I found out at work, which is so embarrassing! My schedule was never the problem when it came to counseling. I worked the same schedule every day, I came home - you're the one who always had somewhere else to be."

Hazel was defeated and ready to leave, and she apologized for embarrassing her. "I shouldn't have been with Suri behind your back, but what are we really salvaging anymore, Nic? I'm sorry."

Nicola scowled. "Oh, you're done? Hazel, I already got the divorce papers from the courthouse. Sign them and get out of my house."

Though Nicola put on a confident facade while she took the initiative to end their union, they both left the marriage with regrets. They could have tried harder, if they were really meant to be. But more than anything, they could have waited to get married. Maybe then they'd never have married at all, and their differences wouldn't have been so hard to take.

And now, with the sunny weather betraying their broken hearts, Hazel Nesbitt and Nicola Moody-McMillan had shared their last cozy celebrations together.

How would each move on from here? ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary

Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary

The answers to that question! Nicola's next chapter begins here as a contestant on Dating Deanna, a reality TV series debuting in January by @changingplumbob, where dozens of contestants will compete for the heart of beautiful bachelorette Deanna York.

Hazel lives with the Nesbitt-Gordons for now, so we'll follow her story with Heather and her crew in Sims In Bloom!

This was hardly cozy, but I've written a couple surprise bonus posts for tomorrow/my Christmas Day that are much more fun, and they finish off the reward event with a lot less angst and drama!

NOTE: For the record, I believe in working on a marriage, but Hazel and Nicola's compatibility was awful once Lovestruck patched in. They truly grew apart, not at all together, and didn't have enough desire to put in the work to save their short-lived marriage. Then Hazel met Suri and they were flirty and got along so much better, so I figured she and Nicola might both be happier without each other and they divorced.

While Hazel has a potential someone, I was trying to think about what to do with Nicola when Dating Deanna was announced. I thought this was perfect because now I don't have to plot her next chapter, and if she doesn't win Deanna's heart she'll return with new lore and backstory to write for.

I know she has few fans these days and that's fine! But when she's with the right person and not cheated on (entering a bachelorette competition could really test her), Nicola will put in the work. She's too good and family oriented not to. Hazel, on the other hand, should possibly reckon with why she chose to cheat and not leave...

[it-was-summer]

Video Killed the Radio Star - Tape #4 (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

A/N: Y'all this chapter took so long to write. This is NOT proofread once again me and Grammarly were beefing because she doesn't understand fanfiction. Nonetheless, it is 12 am MST and here it is. Now for an overall warning, this chapter talks about so much that I was to let everyone know that I meant for this to be a dark series. That was my goal. I'm so sorry if some of these topics seem like they're too heavy for you. If you feel overwhelmed, disgusted, or just find it hard to read please remember that it is okay and you are loved. This chapter mentions miscarriages, eating disorders, gunshot wounds, suicide, etc. I love you all and stay healthy. I will try to post my 500 followers post soon! Not proofread because eepy. YOU'LL read my chapter unedited and you'll like it! (hopefully). Thanks for reading. -Love you all, Em.

Video Killed the Radio Star Remake Masterlist

Link to the Ao3: Video Killed the Radio Star

Previous Chapter: Tape #3 > Next Chapter: Coming Soon...

WARNING: miscarriage, eating disorder, catholic guilt, bisexuality mention??, period underwear, stalking, marital problem, divorce, sexual harassment, guns, knives, gunshot wound, This bitch shoots someone, suicide, mention of a skull, blood so much blood.

Tape Contents: We briefly dive into Heather's past. Adeline makes a call that gives the team a reason to visit the suburbs. Heather makes a decision. You see something other than pink for the first time in four days.

Word Count: 6,296

Seven to Four Years Prior- January 10, 20XX

Heather had to get out of Norfolk. She felt suffocated under her father’s watchful gaze and helicopter ways. He was a hard man to love and hard to be around in general. When he drank, she used to pray that he would forget about her, so she became quiet. She didn’t have many friends here anyway, so she took you out of the equation and knew no one else would know her name. 

So, with a heavy heart, she moved her life away to Richmond. She changed her major to nursing and killed that quiet girl from Norfolk. She fabricated real lies that sometimes she couldn’t separate from reality. She stared at girls silently with longing and played it off as admiration if she was ever caught. Catholic guilt stopped it from growing into anything else. 

She was slow to open up about her feelings and showed people an extroverted sorority girl nursing graduate who liked to go to bars on the weekend and let men’s hands pull at her hips desperately in dark corners. 

Now, at twenty-four, she only thought about one thing: how good her stomach looked in this dress. She had thinned out tremendously since the move. At first, it started due to not having enough money to eat anywhere except the shitty university cafeteria. Then, it warped into something else. During its worst moments, she would log her calories or purge food moments after eating it. She could look into mirrors afterward and feel she was achieving something remarkable. Then, sometimes, she would also look at her face and think, ‘Is that what I look like’? 

But tonight, she wanted to do something different, something fun. Having told her sorority sisters this, they all jumped on board quickly, agreeing to meet at the bar around 10 p.m. that Saturday. They were thirty minutes late. 

Heather was gently fiddling with the hem of her short black dress, her eyes flickering towards the entrance every so often as she waited for them to walk in. This year, she wanted to be happier, less suffering in silence, and a little more smiley. So yes, she wanted to have fun with people she called friends. Despite all her efforts, she was sure they could see right through her sometimes. She swallowed nervously as she nursed a margarita. 

The next time she looked at her phone, she saw texts from her former sisters saying that work had been hectic and that they needed to reschedule for another time. So now, Heather Alexander was right back at square one: alone. She glanced down at her dress and frowned slightly at its tight material. It was the kind of dress that made her uncomfortable but made men comfortable. Something always felt wrong with that. Heather always secretly knew that she felt an attraction to women and men, but she always felt guilty at the thought. 

She sighed as she debated her next move when she saw him. He was the prettiest man she had ever seen. He had soft masculine features that almost looked slightly feminine, a uniform clad against his chest, and a charming boyish smile as their eyes met. Heather whispered a silent prayer that he would like her as he approached her and introduced himself as David Hernandez. How could she not fall for him instantly? Deep brown eyes, pink lips, dark skin, and a low rumble in his voice made her feel like giggling. 

It wasn’t long before the two of them were getting married. They spent a few months together in domestic bliss. He got some time off from work, and she kept her last name, and they were… happy. 

At least they were happy for six months, and then her world shattered around her as David was deployed to England. She cried herself to sleep the night she heard, and David stroked her back softly to calm her. Heather didn’t want him to leave her and see someone better overseas. She was sure that women would throw themselves at David’s feet, begging him to kiss them, touch them, fuck them, like whores in the street of Babylon. She couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else touching him, looking at him the way she looked at him, talking to him the way she did in his ear late at night. She begged him to try and find some way out of it, scared to lose what was rightfully hers, but he couldn’t. He left that week.

At first, it was just six months, but then it stretched out into a year of deployment—a year spent being faithful to a man across the Atlantic. She called him when she had time, wrote letters to him, sent him emails, and constantly contacted him in any way she could. 

When he got home, it was clear that all her efforts had gone to waste. David was distant. He would sulk in corners of their home on his phone. He would lament on and on about how England felt like his home and how he missed it. She couldn’t stand it. This house they bought together was his home, and it always had been. Why was he struggling to see that? 

The more he talked of his deployment, the more Heather became frustrated with him. Then he started to go out more. At first, it was just to speak with some Army friends on base a few spread-out weekends in the month. Then it was every weekend. 

Heather found that the only thing that could keep him home was sex. So they had sex constantly, like animals in heat. Disgusting and rutting against each other any moment they could. However, the second that it was over, he would withdraw again. He would get dressed and say he had to get to the base. 

Then he was coming late, drunk and slurring, as he pulled her to the edge of the bed and woke her up with sensual touches and dirty talk. She took this as a good sign he was coming home to his wife. He was fucking her and no one else. But slowly, he stopped coming home. He would call her late at night to tell her he would stay with a friend for the night. The following day, he would come home smelling sweet. 

Heather felt lost, searching desperately for something to save her marriage. She was devoting all of her love to a man who no longer wanted it, and she could feel him falling out of love with her. 

Her saving grace was the morning that she found out she was pregnant. She called David with tears in her eyes and told him softly over the phone, and she heard him laugh for the first time in months. And just like that, he was back. 

His soft touches, kisses in the grocery store, and dancing with her in the living room were all back. Her devoted and dotting husband had returned home to her. She could feel the dark cloud of the past couple of months dissipate and the sun shining on her. 

That light lasted a good three months. Heather sat up straight as pain coursed through her body, thundering in her abdomen as she shook David awake with tears streaming down her face. Something was wrong with the baby; she knew it. He drove her to the hospital as fast as he could, but it was too late. She had already miscarried.

Heather took a small sabbatical from work and took time to think about her life. She would stare out of their living room window blankly for hours. David was attentive at first, coming home after work and tending to Heather’s broken spirit. But he soon became bored of that routine. 

When Heather returned to the pediatric oncology unit, David was notified that he was being deployed again to Okinawa, Japan. He was packed and ready by the end of that month. She didn’t see him off at the airport, picking up an extra shift at the hospital to distract her from the fact that he was leaving her again. 

David called her two months into his leave to tell her he wasn’t happy. He wanted a divorce. Then he hung up before she could get a word in. That’s when it all started. Her obsession with consuming anything romantic was almost debilitating. She would visit bookstores and attend readings at the public library, sometimes calling off from work to sit at home with her romances. That’s when she saw you again. She thought that you would have stayed in Norfolk. You had once told her that you loved the water. You liked how it could look gloomy and promising on different days, with mist rolling off the surface. 

She tried not to talk to you. She did. She didn’t want to scare you away like she scared David away. No, no, no, she was sure it would all work out this time. So she loved you from a comfortable distance, watching you from her car on the weekends at night, leaving you her gifts on your windshield—a silent courting. 

She couldn’t help herself on Valentine’s Day. She had slipped into Nicole Smith’s room without Adeline recognizing her, and she gave the table with Adeline’s purse on it a gentle knock with her hip. Heather apologized quickly, telling her not to worry. She promptly dropped to the floor to gather the spilled contents from Adeline’s bag, and she slipped a labeled key connected to a keychain that read ‘or die’ into her pocket. Once she had copied the key, she quickly returned the original to its owner. 

She felt electric when she entered your apartment on Valentine's Day in a dark outfit, a hood covering her face, and four dozen rose petals in a container. She breathed in your perfume as she perused through your bathroom. She traced the spine of every book she could touch on your shelves. She gently dove into your dirty hamper and quickly pulled out a pair of dirty underwear, blood on the inside of them as she shamelessly slipped them into her pocket. Then she got to work spreading the petals throughout your apartment. By the end, she stared at her work, panting lightly as she lay across on your rose-covered bed. 

She had to have you. 

Present Day- March 5, 20XX

Derek and Spencer managed to get to the public library an hour before closing. They pulled your coworker, Valerie, aside. She was a pretty brunette, glasses resting on her face delicately as she stared at the two men with a soft look of disappointment. She knew that if they were here, they had yet to find you, and the thought made her feel like breaking down in a fit of tears. She fought the urge to cry as Derek asked her a question, sliding a copy of the Polaroid you had received on your windshield. “Do you happen to remember anyone coming in with a Polaroid camera?” 

Valerie stared at the Polaroid with a soft frown, trying to remember something helpful. Spencer spoke quickly, “Sometime around January fourteenth, maybe?”

Valerie chewed on her bottom lip before the memory washed over her, “Yes! Yes, oh gosh, she was blonde, I think. I remember telling her we didn’t like flash photography in the library. I only saw the back of her head, but I remember the back of her head and the flash of a camera.” 

Spencer tilted his head slightly and nodded at Valerie’s words, processing the information silently.“Are you sure it was a woman?” Spencer asked softly before Valarie enthusiastically nodded. 

“Yes, it was definitely a woman who took the picture.” She confirmed in a soft voice before she looked down at the Polaroid with a gentle tenderness in her eyes. “She baked me cookies last week, you know?” She looked up at the two men with a sad smile and tears in her eyes. “My cat is sick, and she made me cookies to make me feel better.” She laughed sadly as the tears started to fall. 

Derek placed a soft hand over Valerie’s and gave her a tender look, “We’re looking for her,” The words caused a shaky sigh to escape Valarie’s lips as she pulled her hand away quickly and stood up. 

Her cheeks were red as she cried out a soft “Excuse me.” before she turned on her heel and hurriedly left the room. 

Spencer picked up the picture and stared at you in the photo. The way your hair shined in the fluorescent light, your eyes and smile trained directly on the person you were talking to. You were personable, and the thought made his stomach turn. He looked over at Derek as Spencer handed the photo back to him. 

The two men walked out of the library silently, and Derek let out a soft sigh as he watched the sun starting to settle against the horizon. Spencer walked beside him with his hand stuffed in his pockets, and his head hung a little low in thought. 

Derek broke the silence first, “We should get back to the station to see if JJ and Rossi have anything,” 

And then they rode back in contemplative silence after that. 

March 6, 20XX

You weren’t sure if it was day or night anymore. All you knew was that you were starting to feel uneven. Every creak of wood, settling of pipes, and rumble of the house had your back straightening against the bed. You were sure that Heather would fly in at any moment and touch you. 

A million options weighed heavy in your mind at the scenario; you could fight back again, but that would get you sliced again or worse. You could go with it, zone out as much as possible, let her have her way with you. That option made your head spin with nausea. You had to find a way to get out. 

You licked at the gash on your lip, gently exploring the cut with your tongue until you could feel the warmth of blood again. You pushed your tongue back into your mouth and looked over at your day-old apple on the nightstand, half-eaten and brown. You tenderly took a small bite that wouldn’t require you to move your lips too much. 

You didn’t have much of the day-old meal left; a half-full water and this apple was all you had. You chewed softly, fighting off the nausea that threatened to creep in due to the morphine. 

You tried to remember anything that could be helpful to you. It was hard to think of high doses of morphine. You had played with the knob often; when you were ready to sleep, it would go up, and when you were up, it would turn down. But lately, you just wanted it to be turned up. 

You tried to think of when Heather came into the pink room. She always stuffed her keys into her pockets. A plan was in the making: Get her out of her clothes, and you could get the keys. 

You nodded a little despite your discomfort with the idea of her touching you again. You just had to seduce her a little, which should be easy considering that she was ‘in love’ with you. The only problem with that plan was that you had a mangled ankle and a body running on morphine; she didn’t. Heather’s temper was quick when you talked back, and rage followed if you did something against her liking. 

Maybe begging would work. No, you tried that already. Why would begging work? Perhaps you could hurt yourself just enough to force her to take you to the hospital. But that didn’t work either; she was a nurse. She wouldn’t incriminate herself like that, would she? Maybe total submission would be the key. 

Convince her that you love her back and somehow ask to be let out with her supervision, but that could take forever. 

You started to cry softly as you set down the core of the apple and laid down, wishing to pull your legs to your chest, but the pain of one ankle and the chain around the other made that physically impossible. 

You cried until you felt your eyelids become heavy, tears still slipping out of your eyes as you fell into a morphine-induced sleep. 

March 6, 20XX

JJ paced back and forth in front of the bulletin board, occasionally flicking her eyes over to the photos pinned to it as she tried to chase what was likely to be a loose end. The number that had called yours and left a message full of sobs had been a burner. 

Spencer had tried to tell her to eat something this morning, but as the clock’s hands crept towards nine a.m., she still didn’t feel hungry enough to try. She sighed out another frustrated huff as Emily appeared in front of her. “If you sigh like that one more time, I think I might have to force a croissant down your throat.” 

JJ gave her another dramatic sigh before she put her hands on her hips: “I’m sorry, I just feel like we have no leads. We know it's a woman, but Adeline isn’t likely to be the unsub, and all her coworkers have alibis. It just feels like we are running around with our heads cut off.” 

Emily smiled and gave her a gentle nod of understanding, “I get it, but you pacing around like this isn’t helping anyone. Let’s get you a drink, coffee, or maybe something to eat.” 

“People who eat breakfast consistently are twenty-five percent likely to be more productive at work,” Spencer spoke up from a desk not too far from the two women. 

Emily pointed over at Spencer, “See? You’re making Spencer freak out.” 

“I’m not freaked out,” Spencer frowned at the comment before looking back at a file on the desk. 

JJ’s smile was slow as she let her hands fall to her side and let out a soft, “Fine.” She agreed as Emily walked over to the precinct's breakroom, JJ following her. 

Derek was clicking a pen obnoxiously in an off-beat rhythm. He was about to say something when his phone started to ring on his desk. He didn’t recognize the number, but he answered it anyway. “Hello?” 

“Hi, uhm, is this Special Agent Morgan?” Adeline’s voice was shaky through the phone. 

Derek relaxed slightly as he set down his pen. “Yeah, Adeline. Did something happen?” He couldn’t think of another reason as to why she would call the number he had left with her if nothing happened. He was too focused on the case to think of any other reason anyway. 

“Yeah, maybe? I was talking to one of the nurses about something today, and I recognized one of them. I don’t know how I didn’t see it sooner, but it was an old friend from college. She was more Y/N’s friend than mine, but I talked to her a little.” Adeline’s voice dropped to a whisper as she continued, “I mentioned that she was missing, and Heather had a weird reaction. She smiled for a second. I swear, she said she was sad to hear that, but she looked… well, for a second, it just seemed like maybe she was happy.” 

Derek picked the pen back up again, ready to write down a name. It wasn’t much, but they could visit her. “What was her name again?” 

“Gosh, it was Heather something… Heather, Heather, Heather,” She bit her lip as she tried to think back. “Alexander! Heather Alexander.” 

Derek wrote it down and muttered quickly, “We'll look into it, thanks.” As a goodbye, he let Adeline quickly thank him over the phone before he hung up and called Penelope. 

Penelope, quick as always, picked up on the first ring. “Center of divine intellect,” was her greeting. 

“Good morning to you, too, baby girl. Listen, could you get Heather Alexander's address? Adeline Smith called saying that she had a strange reaction to hearing about our girl going missing.” 

“Easy,” was her answer before Derek could hear the sounds of keys being tapped against and a soft humming sound emitting from Penelope’s lips as she pulled up the address: “4432 Lake Margaret Pl., Chesterfield, Virginia.” 

“You are an angel, Garcia.” 

“I always aim to please,” 

“And you never fail, baby girl.” 

JJ had begged Derek with her eyes to let her go with Spencer. It was just an interview, not even an interrogation, just to see if the connection between you and Heather went deeper than old college friends. So why shouldn’t she go? 

Derek wasn’t one to put up a big fight, so he let her with Spencer. It was only thirty minutes away anyway, so if they needed the team it wouldn’t take too long for them to show up, right? He stayed behind on the phone with Garcia, who was doing her best to see if Heather had any criminal history on her record. 

As the car rolled around the cul de sac, Spencer’s eyes struggled to look away from the plethora of plants in the fenced-in front yard. Pink anemones were scattered amongst daffodils, and what looked like daisies were blooming side by side. JJ rolled the car to a stop, parking it against the curb. 

“Pretty yard,” She muttered as she took the keys out of the ignition. Spencer nodded a little; he had to admit that Spring came in a close second to Fall as the superior season in his mind. The flowers growing after frozen earth had kept them dormant, the welcomed feeling of the sun getting slightly warmer. It was still somewhat chilly at ten in the morning as he stepped out of the car with JJ, but he had to admit, it was shaping up to be a beautiful day weather-wise. 

His head tilted back a little as he stole a glance at the blue sky above them and smiled before stuffing his hands into his pockets and tilting his head toward the house. JJ smiled and walked beside him, happy to be out of the precinct and in the early morning air.

Heather was washing the paring knife she had used on you in her kitchen sink, facing a large bay window in her living room. She swiped at the hardened blood and frowned a little at the memory. Why was she so upset with you? She could hardly remember herself when she got angry like that. 

It was almost fitting, her flying off the handle over something so simple as you not being ready for her love. Was she no better than a man? Had she gotten so accustomed to men's vile and sharp ways that she had somehow forgotten how to be gentle? 

She felt her hands shake as a voice came into her head, whispering her worst fear: She was worse than her father. 

She let tears blur her vision at the thought as she rubbed the knife harder with a sponge, shaking her head quickly. No, no, no, no. She was not like that man. She was not cold like that man. She was lovable. She felt love. She felt overwhelming love for you. She had felt overwhelming love for David. 

Her downward spiral was cut short as she lifted her weeping head and saw a black SUV parked in front of her yard. She quickly wiped away a stray tear with the back of her hand and sniffled lightly as she gently slid the knife into the dishwasher, watching two people get out of the van. 

Heather’s eyes were glued to the blonde at first, pretty and fair in the morning sun before her eyes flickered to the man beside her. She recognized him immediately. She was sure it was the same man she almost ran into at the hospital yesterday. 

She dried her hands as she walked around the kitchen island. As they got closer, her head arched to see how close they were. Panic was running through her veins. Her gun was in her room upstairs, loaded. She just had to get upstairs; her feet were quick to try and run upstairs and stash it somewhere close before they could ring the doorbell. Just as the idea seemed plausible enough, the bell rang through the house. 

Heather let out a silent scream of panic as she smoothed out her shirt, fixed her hair, and caught a quick glance of her pretty face in the mirror near the front door before she swung it open with a pleasantly fake smile on her face. Her eyes quickly scanned both of their faces as she smiled. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, hi. My name is Jennifer Jareau. This is Spencer Reid. We’re with the FBI, and we were just wondering if we could ask you some questions.” JJ spoke clearly as she flashed her badge at Heather, a slight smile on her lips as she looked into Heather’s eyes. Spencer recognized her, finding it strange that he had almost run directly into the beautiful woman at the hospital just the day before. 

Heather laughed softly and nodded as she stepped aside, opening the door wider to let the two agents inside. “Of course,” Her hands were shaking, but she gripped the edge of the door tightly, half tempted to slam it directly in their faces and go upstairs to shoot Catherine and herself to freedom.  

They weren’t on to her yet; she was sure of that– especially given their lack of people– just two against one. She was quick to shut the door behind them before leading the two of them into her living room. “Can I get you two any water? I have some juice.” 

The two agents shook their heads in a polite ‘no, thank you’ way as they sat on the sofa across from Heather. Heather sat on a chair with a soft “Okay” as she eyed them carefully. “Am I in some kind of trouble here?” 

“No, We just wanted to ask you a few questions regarding an old college friend of yours, Y/N L/N.” 

“Well,” She smoothed out her long skirt slowly, remembering to breathe normally, “What about her?” 

“Had you been in contact with her at all? Did she mention anything about someone following her?” 

Heather let out a gentle laugh as she shook her head, “I haven’t really had the time to reach out to old friends lately,” 

Spencer’s interest peaked as he joined the conversation, “How come?” 

Heather’s gaze became a little pointed at the question. Of course, the man has to ask her, “I lost a baby recently, and my husband was deployed soon after, so forgive me for not becoming pen pals with someone I knew at eighteen.” The words were direct and vicious, but she couldn’t help herself. She blew out a soft sigh before she let out a gentle and timid, “I’m sorry,” 

Spencer licked his lips nervously as he leaned back against the sofa slightly, trying to resist the urge to disappear into it. Self-isolation wasn’t uncommon for women who had recently suffered from a miscarriage. That feeling more than likely increased as her support system was ripped away from her. 

JJ gently touched Spencer’s knee before she cut the tension. “I’m sorry to hear that, Mrs. Alexander. We’re just trying to piece some information together.” 

Heather ran a hand through her hair before she gave JJ a tight-lipped smile. “I understand that; I’m sorry. Would it be alright if I ran upstairs for some medicine? I feel a headache coming on.” She spoke fast with a tense voice, trying her hardest to pass it off as pain with a rub of her temple. When JJ nodded, she stood up and headed upstairs as calmly as she could manage. 

JJ looked over at Spencer, watching Heather walk away carefully. “She seems angrier with men than anything.” Her voice was slightly amused before Spencer frowned. 

“Doesn’t mean she’s in the clear; stalking is often a form of intense infatuation, but it's also used as a way to control something. She’s struggling with two things that could be our stressors: she’s craving control or dependency. She-” The soft ringing of his phone cut off his whispered rant. He answered it, happy that at least it was just Garcia calling, hoping for a better lead than his ongoing hunch. 

He stood and looked at JJ, who was mouthing for him to go outside, “Hey,” He answered as he slipped out of the front door. 

“Hey, nothing is coming up anywhere on Heather’s record for criminal activity—sorority sister, wife, nurse, clean as a whistle. However, considering we don’t have much right now, I decided to see if she had any warnings at work.” 

“Right,” Spencer looked over his shoulder at the front door as he walked away to stand in front of the garage. 

“Well, last month, she got a write-up for stealing some morphine; her supervisor forced her to go see a therapist after Heather said that she was using it for some leftover pain she was experiencing after her miscarriage. But Heather never showed,” 

Spencer was walking a little further down the driveway as he listened to Garcia talk on the phone, counting the number of windows in the house. His eyes narrowed slightly to try and block out the sun before he looked away. He licked his bottom lip gently before acting on his little hunch, “Could you check her credit report? See if there are any purchases that you can find that seem odd around March third?” 

“Could I check her credit report,” Garcia repeated with a laugh, “Hold on, boy genius.” 

Spencer could see the top of JJ’s head from the bay window, and he turned away slightly, finding ease in the fact that she was still there. Something felt off, and he couldn’t put his finger on it. “She went to the store, but nothing crazy. Bought,” He could hear typing, “Bleach and rubbing alcohol.” 

Spencer chewed on the inside of his cheek as he asked, “When was her husband deployed again? Did she buy anything from a florist around Valentine’s Day?” 

“Husband was deployed December first and,” she hummed gently before she sighed, “Bought some flowers on Valentine’s day, rose petals.” 

Spencer felt that feeling when something connected in his brain, a rush of adrenaline as he felt his hunch slowly turn into a plausible accusation. The roses were just that, roses. But the bleach and rubbing alcohol? That’s a recipe for chloroform right there. And finally, Heather’s husband was deployed at the beginning of December, stressor number two. It made him feel slightly hopeful about walking back into the house. “Thanks, Garcia.” He said as his feet reached the end of the driveway. He hung up the phone, walking back towards the house at a fast pace when the familiar and startling 'crack' of a gun reached his ears. 

His hands drew his gun out of the holster, running back towards the house. He pushed the front door open with his foot as he heard the thumping of footsteps running on the stairs. He rounded the corner to the living room before lowering his gun as he saw JJ bleeding from a bullet wound in her thigh. 

“JJ!” His voice panicked as he reached her groaning side, kneeling low to the ground next to her. “What happened?” 

JJ shook her head quickly, “I’m calling for backup. She ran upstairs. She didn’t even try to,” her eyes squeezed shut tightly as a sharp pain rattled through her inner thigh, “Just go!” She urged him as she reached down for the phone in her back pocket, her free hand pressing on her gushing wound to try and slow the bleeding. 

Spencer’s eyes were filled with uncertainty as he let out a soft, “No, I’ll stay here until everyone gets-” 

“Spencer, go!” 

Spencer felt his spine straighten at the second command. He gave her a grim nod as he stood up, readied his gun, and started for the stairs. His footsteps were soft and calculated as he ascended, pink light flooding the floor as he approached the top of the stairs. He could hear gentle begging in a voice too soft and thick to be Heather’s. 

“Please, Heather, please, my love. Don’t, please don’t.” Repetitive cries for mercy made his legs move faster until he approached an opened door. The regular-looking bedroom door gave way to a steel one just behind it before revealing the scene of what looked like a demented love nest. 

Spencer swallowed a lump in his throat as he took in the scene. Gun pointed carefully at Heather as he spoke, “Heather, put down the gun. You love her. You don’t want to hurt her. You know that.” 

Heather jumped a little at the sound, her pistol clicking softly as her sweaty palms tightened their grip. She was quick to turn her body around to face him with the gun aimed directly at him as she spoke. “Don’t pretend like you know me or her. You don’t know our relationship. She wants this just as much as I do.” 

“You know she doesn’t look at her. Look at what you’re doing to her.” 

Heather’s eyes drifted to you, chained to the bed, watching as you hyperventilate softly. Heather felt her bottom lip quiver before she looked back at Spencer. “She’s just scared. You’re making me do this. She knows you’re making me do this.” 

Spencer’s eyes drifted to your crying form on the bed, trying to keep your sobs quiet as you stared at him with wild eyes. He glanced over at the morphine drip next to your bed before his eyes settled back on Heather. His lips parted to say something more, but she cut him off quickly, “Put your gun down, and I won’t do it.” 

Heather’s body language gives her away as she motions for him to put his gun down, her eyes crazed and large, her hands shaking and rigid against her pistol. “I’m not going to-” 

“Put your fucking, gun down, or she dies,” Heather yells so loud that it elicits a soft sob from your lips, your arms coming up to protect your head, ready for the shot to be administered and for your brains to be blown out in front of Spencer in that very moment. 

Spencer holds up both of his hands at that; he swears he can hear the soft sounds of sirens in the distance as he lowers his gun to the floor slowly, his foot gently kicking the gun away with a soft ‘clack.’

“Now you,” his calm voice says as he raises his hands, inching closer. Tears stream down Heather’s face now as she shakes her head gently. 

“I have to,” Is her tear-soaked reply as she keeps the barrel pointed at Spencer’s head, her fingers twitching lightly as they move for the trigger. Your shaking voice cuts through the scene, and Spencer is pretty sure it’s the only thing that is stopping him from diving for his gun a few feet from him. 

“Heather, baby,” Your voice betrays you as you speak the pet name, coming off a little too forced, but you continue anyway. “He can help. You don’t have to hurt anyone else. We can be happy, and we can get away. He can help, right?” Your arms relax around your head slowly as you look over at Spencer, who nods silently. 

“I can, but you have got to put your gun down.” 

Heather chokes out a strangled sob as she looks over at you, watching as you smile at her. You know it’s forced, but Heather can only view it as the prettiest thing she’s ever seen—a great parting gift. 

She feels spit thick on her tongue as she evaluates her options: kill Spencer and go to jail. Kill you, and she might not have enough time to kill herself. Killing herself seems like the best plan out of the three, so she holds her gun steady at Spencer as she looks at your now bleeding smile. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Her voice is soft, almost so human that you feel your heart clench in pity before that clenching feeling turns into pure anxiety as you see the movement of her arm. Spencer’s feet aren't quick enough for him to tackle her to the ground as Heather raises the gun to her temple and pulls the trigger. 

Her body drops to the edge of the bed, sliding down it as you feel blood coat your legs. Your ears are ringing, and your mouth is wide open as you scream. At least you think you’re screaming. You can’t hear much but a pathetic muffle of the sound as the ringing in your ears increases.

Your hands are quick to try and wipe off chunks of what looks to be part of a skull off of your exposed stomach, and you can’t seem to stop staring at Heather’s limp body at the edge of the bed. The image of her mangled head oozing blood has you gagging softly, feeling yourself getting ready to be sick before you feel two hands cup your face. 

You’re screaming or sobbing; you can’t tell anymore as Spencer Reid’s face blocks the view. He keeps your face steady in his hands as you try to read his lips, your breathing heavy as he strokes your hair gently. His voice creeps in through the ringing until you eventually hear the soft repetition of, “I got you, look at me. Just keep looking at me; you’re safe.”

You feel your breathing slow, your arms reaching up to grab him before your eyes roll back as your body slumps against Spencer’s, and everything is engulfed in black.

Tag List: @dollykisses4reid @babyspiderling @cocobean16 @kodzukenie333 @mmmunson

[minisugakoobies]

Okay hear me out

Husband = Jungkook, high school sweetheart

Boyfriend = Glasses M I N G I

First of all, if that woman is reading this, GET 👏 A 👏 DIVORCE 👏! Keep that silver fox!!

Anyway…. thoughts under the cut because they get a little smutty… (minors go away!)

I'm imagining this a little differently from that tiktok story. Jungkook and OC are high school sweethearts for sure. JK was the star athlete of the school, went to college on scholarship, but got injured and had to stop playing before graduation. Fell into a job at OC's dad's company - her dad wasn't the boss but he pulled strings. They've been married for 10 years now, right out of college, still no kids but JK keeps telling her "one day." Their life is comfortable, their sex life steady (quality over quantity), and OC feels pretty content.

But JK is not. He tells her he's been feeling stuck lately. Frustrated that he couldn't turn his natural talent into a high-earning sports career. His company's been bought out by another and he just discovered that in a few weeks when the merger is complete, his boss will be replaced by one of their guys, some young buck fresh out of business school, and JK's angry he's been passed over. JK tells her he needs something new in his life, something to make him feel young again, and says he wants to open up their marriage. She goes along with it, so in love with him even though she feels hurt, thinking she's not enough for him. He finds a girlfriend within days. Starts spending all his time with her. OC cries and cries for the first few weeks, until she talks to her best friend Jimin, who reminds her that she deserves happiness too. She says she doesn't know how and he tells her to be brave and go find it.

She tries the dating apps but all she finds are creeps or scammers so she deletes and decides to just go out to a bar and see what happens. It's been literal years since she went out by herself and she's nervous, not expecting to really meet anyone right away, but just wanting to check out the scene. She decides to go downtown, to a bar tucked away between a few hotels, orders one drink, two, is playing with the ice in the third when a man takes the empty seat beside her. He's tall, broad, a few years younger than she is, wearing glasses and a suit, tie loosened around his neck. He looks exhausted, wearily orders a double. He and the bartender strike up a little conversation when he asks where's a good place to get some late night fried chicken. Bartender says sorry, I'm a vegan, and walks away. OC doesn't know what prompts her to speak up, but she leans over and names a restaurant. It's a place she and JK order from frequently. Younger guy looks her up and down and smiles for the first time since he sat down. She feels the stirrings of butterflies that lain dormant for years as he asks her name. Says he's Mingi. He just got off a plane, in town for a few days for work, and is starving. She's suddenly hungry, too.

They talk a little, and she mentions that the chicken place is only a few blocks away, so they go for a walk. At the restaurant, she's impressed by his ability to eat so much. JK's still fit, but he's not built like this man. He's funny, and nice, this other man. Asks her questions about herself. It's been ages since someone wanted to hear about her. He tells her about traveling for work and how he's just accepted a new position that will hopefully be more of a stationary position and not require him to log so many miles. After they're finished, he asks her if she'll have another drink with him - he's jet-lagged from his flight, doesn't want to go to sleep just yet. "The longer I stay awake, the better I'll adjust to the time zone." She knows she'll just be going home to an empty house, so she agrees, and goes back with him to his hotel.

As her glass goes from full to half-empty, her nerves return. There's a tension in the air now between them. She wonders if he's going to invite her up to his room. She realizes she wants him to. She decides to be brave, and brushes his arm to get his attention.

"Are you starting to feel a little sleepy?"

He glances at her hand, where it rests on his arm, and nods.

"I don't think drinking is the solution, then." She shifts closer to him, runs her fingers along his tie. "Maybe there's something else I can do to help keep you… up."

She giggles as he splays a large hand on her back, practically pushing her out of the bar and into the elevator. As soon as the doors close he's on her, pressing her into the mirrored wall, lips and hands drawn to her like magnets. Her head spins from the rush of arousal that suddenly rolls through her. When they reach his room, Mingi kicks the door closed, then grabs under her thighs, lifting her into the air. She's not the same girl she was when she and JK started dating - it's been a very long time since anyone was able to lift her like that. He carries her into the bedroom, gently lays her on the bed, and drops to his knees.

His mouth pulls an orgasm from her, then his fingers pull another one, before he even undresses. He's HUGE. And dripping with excitement. She's dizzy from the heady combination of her climaxes and the feeling of being desired again. She offers to go down on him but he basically says "if I don't fuck you I might die" and, well, why would she argue with that. It's so different from when she and JK fuck. Mingi doesn't know her body, but he's full of boundless energy and so eager to learn. He doesn't make her cum the first time, folding her legs to her chest as he pounds away, unable to stop himself from reaching his own end in desperation first. But he makes it up the second time, after he's had a moment to rest, pulling her into his lap and bouncing her on his cock until she falls apart around him.

In the morning, he asks for her number, if it's ok to see her again while he's in town. She agrees, and for the next few days, she's happier than she's been in months. Maybe years - maybe what she thought was "content" was just "numb." And now she feels again.

It's not until he's leaving again, to return to his hometown and pack up his life for his move for his new position, that he tells her the name of his company. Her eyes widen with recognition. Mingi asks her if she'd like to see him again when he comes back in a few weeks' time. Of course she says yes.

Suddenly, she can't wait for JK to meet his new boss.

***********

Me: I'm gonna answer this quick Also me: One hour later… 🙈

Um… tagging @kiestrokes @chans-room @yeontan-my-love just for the heck of it (you can yell at me to stop, I can handle it)

************

More Boss!Mingi

[howdy-folks-its-showtime]

It's Showtime! - October 2024 Devlog

Howdy Cobalt here! This is really late I know, that's my bad. Again. I want to say right away this dev log isn't particularly exciting. Mostly because almost everything I did this month was in preparation for future things to be added so while I may not have a lot to show… Hopefully everything I did this month will mean soon I will!

Got Cutscenes mostly working! There is a placeholder cutscene that's an intro and another that activates upon opening a door! You can skip cutscenes by holding E for a bit but I have not yet implemented the code that keeps track of which cutscenes you've seen before to activate it. [I want there to be a system that keeps track of if you have ever seen a given cutscene. Since this game is story-heavy I wouldn't want people accidentally skipping cutscenes that may have been vital. This system will hopefully be able to keep track of this even through save files. So if you decide to replay the game after fully beating it all the cutscenes will be able to be skipped since you already know what's happening and such. Also for speedrunners]

Okay I know there's not a lot here but the cutscene system took. A while and that was cause I wanted it to be as optimized as possible [we'll be having quite a few cutscenes after all~] And that always makes coding take a lot longer. If I coded it in a super messy complicated way it probably would've been done in a way but I wanted the code to be mostly clean and most of all not tank the performance. So it took a lot longer than I thought it would.

Been doing some loose writing here and there. Honestly haven't done any major writing this month, I wanted a break from it. I have since taken that break however and I'm sure I'll come back swinging!

Haven't done much art myself, been doing some tweaks to the props I showed off in the last dev log but nothing more than that. However I have been working relentlessly on Henry's first model [I say first cause I'm sure with time, I will want to update and change it] and I can say confidently it is fairly close to completion.

In terms of 2D art, I've done a few textures and Roddy has been working hard on character designs! We got one of the major characters in their cycle form done and that'll help a lot for establishing the style for the others ones as well. We don't have much that wouldn't be considered spoilers though so for now, you'll just have to trust us.

HUGE progress has been made on figuring out rigging. I have a rig that works really swell, [one that was created by that very person I talked abt helping me in last month's devlog] now I just have to learn how to modify it for my own purposes which shouldn't be too hard since I now know all the little mechanics that make it work. With that I can hopefully start on making a good generic rig for humans and toons alike to act as a base for all of them but still be able to customize for any deviations they have in design. This took. Days. But I think it'll be worth it when you guys get to see these characters start to come to life in their first few animations and such. I think next month, I'll have at least something swell to show off! Thanks for your patience as always!

[the-fiction-witch]

Cuddles

Media The Maze Runner

Character Newt

Couple Newt X Reader

Rating Sweet Af

Concept 'Feel Better?'

I sat leant against the log watching the fire burning bright most people still partying away, when I saw someone approach. I smiled as I saw her in her little black boots with high muddy socks, little Jean shorts and her long blue hoodie her hair up in a plait to keep it out of he Mr face even if loose hairs were sticking to her skin in some places she had her sleaves down far past her hands as she came over.

"Hi love, what's up?" I asked given she didn't look very happy she seemed kinda sad she meerly opened her arms so I chuckled set my moonshine down and offered my arms which she happily crawled into nuzzling her nose into my neck, her head into my shoulder, her hands into my hoodie pocket, her legs up close to her chest as she sat on my lap. I wrapped my arms slowly and gently not wanting to trap her too fast giving her some soothing rubs on the back and leg "hey it's okay, what's wrong love?" I whispered she took my hand pulling it closer to really squeeze around her until my hand rested on her lower stomach i could tell she was more bloated then usual and I could almost feel her cramps and stomach churns "oh dear. Always around bonfire isn't it" I sighed and she nods "awww it's okay, cuddle up as much as you need to."

"But what if-"

"I don't care if you bleed on me. You need cuddles." I told her "when did you last have painkillers?"

"Yesterday"

"Yesterday!"

"Clients being stingy with them" she pouts 

"Well the box came up today hopefully he'll be able to give you some more before bed time." I told her stroking her hair "when did you last drink something?" But no answer came "I take it you've barely drank anything all day?" And she sheepishly nods "y/n. Your cramps are only going to get worse if you're dehydrated. And I know you've been crying from pain which will make you even more dehydrated. So come on hydrate" I told her offering her some moonshine but as usual she turned her nose up "hydrate. Or no cuddles." I warn and she begrudgingly had some sips even if her face turned sour, she always hated moonshine."there that'll help, would squeeze help or is that going to make your tummy worse?'

"Squeeze please" she smiled squeezing my chest so I happily squeezed her as tight as I could rocking us both from side to side a little

"I'm sorry you have to feel this way love. I wish I could help." 

"You do help. You help a lot newt" she says "can I?"

"Of course" I laughed and she began poking me, pinching me, giving me small playful punches, just getting the pain and the anger out on me I didn't mind I know it helps her I can't imagine the horrific sensation of your insides ripping themselves out and cramping up to force things out. Honestly that's the kinda stuff I have nightmares about. And I know Clint's low on pain meds as he hadn't been giving me as many lately either. So I don't mind getting maybe a small bruise from her poking and pinching me if it takes her mind off her pain. I could tell after a while she was getting very tried as her eyes went heavy and her pokes has stopped, so I readjusted her a little so she could lay with her head on my chest I was gentle as I stroked her hair and moved my hand under her hoodie to stroke her stomach making sure to be soft and gentle with her and given her growing smile I think it helped and hearing her happy little joyful moans made me smile so much knowing she was cosy and comfy "that feel better love?" I asked and she nods "good. You wanna go to bed?" I asked and she nods sleepily "you want a cosy night?" I ask and she excitedly nods "okay" I smiled being as gentle as I could to get up and lift her up with me so I could carry her with her still nuzzled into my chest, I carried her across the glade making sure not to jolt her around till we reached her little hut near the walls corner I let her down and she went for a shower, given she's our only girl she had her own out here. And while she was gone I made her little mattress up with blankets and pillows making sure I climbed in to keep it warm for her, when she got back in her small shirt and panties she climbed into the bed with me and bundled herself close again I wrapped the covers around us both pulling her close tucking her in. I gave her back a rub and soothed her aching tummy, I made sure she had some water before bed and tucked her in tight "There, that feel better love?"

"Ummm humm" she nods 

"You all cosy?"

"Very cosy"

"Good, now you sleep tight, you know where I am if you need me." I told her 

"I do, goodnight newt"

"Goodnight y/n" I smiled giving her forehead a small kiss then I gave her nose a small kiss which turned her bright red across her cheeks I couldn't help but smile looking at her all bundled up and cosy she's so cute I couldn't help myself almost regardless of my fears I leant down and kissed her lips they were so soft, so sweet and smooth she happily kissed back and for a while the only movement between us was our lips till I pulled back nervously "I uhh sorry I uhh"

She giggled and gave my lips another kiss "goodnight newt" she smiled 

"Goodnight love" I cooed making sure she was cosy before I got up and headed to her door 

"Newt?"

"What is it love?" I asked turning back to her bed and she had opened her arms "really?"

"Cuddles"

"Okay," I smiled jumping back in bed with her to cuddle her close "So long as I don't get in trouble again" 

"That's a risk I'm willing to take"

"Are you now?" 

"Very much. For cuddles" she smiled nuzzling close

[fioreofthemarch]

Finding Her - Chapter 5

Link makes notes, takes photos and keeps time on his quest across Hyrule, in the hopes of finding Zelda and staying sane until he does. [ Previous | Next | First | AO3 ]

Purah Pointer: This time of year is commonly referred to in Hylian nomenclature as Summer Rising. Savvy travellers will avoid Eldin or Gerudo at this time of year due to extreme temperatures.

Log date: 20:25. 6th month, 1st day 104AC Location: Lindor’s Brow Cave, Hyrule Ridge Weather: Warm. Showers easing.

Circling back to Lookout Landing, then onto Eldin. Ran into Impa again on my way out of Rito Village. She said there was another geoglyph in Eldin Canyon. Plus there will be something troubling the Gorons, no doubt. Going to go straight there. Don't want to get distracted. 

Spent all my rupees on a full Snowquill set for Winter so sleeping in this cave instead of the nearby stables. It's surprisingly warm. There are brightblooms on every wall and the brightcap mushrooms growing here don't taste too bad. Bought some goat butter in Rito Village so throwing together a mushroom risotto -- it's glowing, which is hopefully a good sign.

Wondering if there were always caves here. Probably has something to do with the Upheaval. Since it happened everything is just a little different. Things aren't quite where I remember. Places aren't quite what they were. Old friends are on new paths, while others just aren’t around these days. There's something that can't be described happening to Hyrule. A change, a mystical kind, that can't be named.

Case in point — there was a large, magical frog in this cave. It was bright blue, had half a dozen eyes and long feathery antlers, and looked nothing like any frog that could or should exist. Was setting up my bedroll and cooking pot when it jumped into view. Acted by instinct and shot it with an arrow. But then it… exploded? And dropped something shiny. And somehow none of that was a surprise.

A photograph of a bubbul gem — a six-pointed crystal that is a cross between a snowflake and a fern. It is held up for the camera with and is no bigger than a rupee. It glows softly.

Caption: What am I meant to do with this?

---

Log date: 11:00. 6th month, 3rd day 104AC Location: Nihcayam Lightroot, the Depths Weather: Not Applicable 

Might have gone off course. Josha wanted me to investigate more of the statues down in the Depths and I thought, sure. I've survived Gloom before. I’ve done a couple dozen Shrines of Light so I’m feeling stronger. And Josha is what, seven? If they're letting a kid oversee research into the Depths, it can't be that bad.

Wrong. It is bad. It's dark, the air is sticky (somehow), my arm is cramping up from throwing so many brightbloom seeds and the monsters down here hit a lot harder. One so much as throws a rock at me and I can feel my blood turning to stone. (Gotta thank Tulin for his avatar next time I'm in Hebra, it has gotten me out of a few scrapes now).

There's a Lightroot in the distance. Just need to survive long enough to reach it. Whatever it is that Josha is looking for down here, it can’t be far.

A photograph taken from the underside of a Lightroot, its sturdy vines wrapping around the central orange tuba and rising up towards the surface above.  

Caption: Where there is dark there must be light. 

---

Incoming transmission… Processing… Transmission received. Downloading information packet and installing to the Purah Pad. Please stand by.

Message Medallion activated.

Connection established.

12:09 JSH| Link, can you see this message? Link, it's Josha. There should be a prompt on the Purah Pad for you to respond. Sorry if this is sudden. Link?

12:13 LNK| What is this

12:14 JSH| Oh good you're alive! This is the Message Medallion, it's still a prototype. Goggles came up with it. Don't tell him about this, okay? 

12:14 LNK| Okay Why

12:16 JSH| He doesn't know I'm borrowing it. It's still volatile. We can't talk long. In the alpha stage of the project, it caused the Purah Pad to explode 85% of the time.

12:18 JSH| Link? Are you still there?

12:20 LNK| Yes Afraid to type

12:21 JSH| It's not going to explode now, silly. In the beta stage, Goggles got the explosion rate down to 45%.

12:21 LNK| Great

12:22 JSH| You're probably wondering why I borrowed it to contact you.

12:22 LNK| Yes

12:24 JSH| Okay. So we've just discovered that Sundelions, those strange flowers that grow near sky rubble, have a cooling effect on Gloom. When applied topically they seem to completely negate its effects. No one was brave enough to try and go down to the Depths to tell you, but I thought you should know. I swiped the Message Medallion while Goggles wasn’t looking. Have you seen any Gloom yet?

12:24 LNK| No none at all

12:25 JSH| Wow, really? Goggles said the Depths is covered in it, and that I’m not allowed down there for at least another ten years. Or until I get my doctorate, whichever comes first. But maybe this will change his mind!

12:25 LNK| I am kidding 12:28 LNK| Sorry  

12:30 JSH| It's okay, it’s fine! I'll just have to work extra hard! I really appreciate you doing this for me, Swordsman. It'll cut a year off my thesis at least!

12:31 LNK| Anytime You are doing great All the best researchers break the rules

12:33 JSH| Really? Do you have a source? 

12:33 LNK| What

12:33 JSH| Dr. Purah says everything needs to be backed up by a source.

12:34 LNK| It is my opinion

12:35 JSH| Oh, well in that case I agree! Anyway, looks like time's up. Goggles is done with his cryptic crossword, so I gotta go. I have to disconnect the Medallion too, sorry. Remember Link, sundelions!

Connection terminated. 

---

Log date: 14:15. 6th month, 3rd day 104AC. Location: Great Abandoned Central Mine, The Depths Weather: Not applicable 

Just going to sit here a while and catch my breath. Wasn't expecting to find at the end of Josha's long line of statues a madman and his horseless Zonai carriage. But I did, because somehow Master Kohga is back. 

The years since we last fought have done more for his theatrics than his combat skills. Tempted to chase him to the very edge of this damned place and drive him away for good, but… can't get distracted. Gotta get to Eldin. Gotta find the next geoglyph, gotta find Zelda.

The Steward Construct here is making me some crystalised charges while I rest and finish this Sunny Veggie Porridge I made. I'll have enough charges for a whole new battery soon. Maybe it's time to dig more into the Zonai tech. Kohga made some impressive (and deadly) creations. Could do the same. Make myself some kind of self-powered cart, or a glider for exploring the sky islands, or a sentry turret to take out bokoblins. Or even a trebuchet.

No. Can't get distracted. Eldin tomorrow. Going to take my horse and not turn off the road for anything alive or dead.

A photograph of Master Kohga on an oversized Zonai-powered automobile, with spikes on the front. The vehicle is advancing on the camera at a brusque but non-fatal speed. Master Kohga is visible from behind the control stick and appears to be waving a fist.

Caption: Portrait of a dork. 

---

Log date: 17:50. 6th month, 5th day 104AC Location: Woodland Stables, Eldin Weather: Warm, clear skies.  

Goddess preserve me. I've been here a day and a half. And in that time I have: 

Ferried some musicians to the Great Fairy Tera 

Proofread Penn’s article about it (not sure what he wanted — underlined some bits at random)

Helped Kilton with his brother Koltin, who for some reason wants to EAT the bubbul gems I've been finding

Promised the stable owner to get a photograph of some hot springs for advertising 

Explored three shrines and two caves (still don't have enough rupees for a bed)

Put down a boss Bokoblin

Put up a sign with Addison 

I'm no nearer Eldin or the next geoglyph than I was the day I left Rito Village. Everyone everywhere needs help and everything everywhere is calling out to be explored. But it's nice. To feel needed. To discover new things. Despite the detours I have to admit, maybe I'm not having the worst time. Hold fast, Zelda. The road back to you might wind a little, but I'm going to get there, by Hylia I swear it. 

A photograph of a group of Hylians sitting around a fire; musicians, stable workers, even a tall white Rito, his flying mask worn around his neck to reveal small but inquisitive eyes and a long cheery beak. The next photograph is of Link, smiling and sitting at the fire too, a bowl of stew in hand. In the corner of the photograph, the camera lens appears to be partially obscured by a blurry white feather. 

Caption: As close to home as any can be. 

[aeternallis]

thank you so much for the meta you wrote about kim's fight in yok's bar, i feel like i really needed to read that the news today about jeff satur leaving BOC ;_; if you don't mind, some words of comfort would be really appreciated

You're very much welcome bby, I'm happy to have provided you with something to cheer you up~ For what it's worth, I only recently got into KinnPorsche (3 months ago), so I have more metas (and fics!) I wanna write for KimChay!

As for Jeff leaving BOC, please don't let it get to you too much, my dear. He's leaving to do bigger and better things, yknow? Endings and partings are always hard, but it doesn't mean there's no hope for the future. Jeff and Barcode are still friends, they still have Wuju Bakery together, they have an event coming up this week XD, and even when they move on after Wuju Bakery, KimChay and the AlienBaker will still be here.

Personally for me, I still have hope for a season 2 of KinnPorsche. The story is far from over, and BOC/Pond knows that it's too big of a series to just let it end on one season. But if they ultimately leave it at that, then that's okay too (I'll accept that in due time). If we ever do get a season 2 however, I hope sincerely that Jeff will be willing to take on the role of Kim once more; same for Barcode and Porchay.

Having said this, KinnPorsche is definitely a series that can benefit from a time skip, lol Both within the narrative and in real time. This series has so much emotional baggage attached to it that tbh, I'm very much relieved the WT is finally over. This way, hopefully the emotional roller coaster of RL drama with the BOC actors can die down.

Like for reals, I've only been in this fandom 3 months, and I feel like it's already aged me 5 years, what with the Build/Poi drama, the drama from last year that I'm only finding out about now, Jeff's news today, etc. LOL

As fans, we can finally let KinnPorsche simmer in our heads and just engage with the story and the characters, yknow? We need this time to just let ourselves enjoy the story AWAY from the general spotlight and without the pressure of having to keep up with news or latest developments with the actors and all those other melons dfhkfefehfjks

So get some rest, dear nonnie, wherever you may be! Log off if you have to, go ahead and cry as much as you want to let it all out. It's not the end of the world, and tomorrow will be a new day.

[itsbenedict]

get star seeker sequel adventure thing up and running and through the first case

get datasouls combat toy complete up to the first miniboss combat

catch up on TFJ recap logs

become an accredited AWS Certified Solutions Architect and get that raise my boss has been talking about for ages

get an adjustable standing desk and under-desk elliptical thingy, and otherwise get an ergonomic workstation set up

fix the light situation in the bathroom

get through The Sekimeiya and really go to town on that mystery until it’s solved

also finally play Disco Elysium

finish TFTBN character portraits

get a beatrice portrait for my poster wall

run some TPIVW games

badger the condo association landlady until she does something about the junk clogging up that basement storage room i’m supposed to own, and clean unused bulky stuff out of my house

clearly this waitlist thing isn’t working out so take some steps to see an actual doctor for the first time in like three years (and maybe get a cancer screening, or do something about that closed sinus)

get through the remaining 7 WaniKani levels

My objective for October was to catch up on recaps and get through the big update for phase 3 of the first Justice/Arcana case.

I didn't accomplish that!

I didn't accomplish that because I set that objective for myself the day before This Shit Happened. Since then, I've been scrambling like crazy to put out fire after fire at this company as it tries to break away from a shared services environment and get all its products working on a separate infrastructure, which has been a fucking nightmare of working like 10-hour days for the whole month. I get done dealing with this stuff and I'm fried, with no energy to do anything after work. It's a waking nightmare and it's gone on for like a month.

The nightmare isn't over yet- things are still not okay at work, there's a bunch of products that have no devs working on them, a bunch of things that are going to break unless I find clever workarounds to substitute for their dependencies, and like half a dozen random bureaucrats who've chosen right now to stick their nose in and demand we do everything differently to conform to the way things are done at the parent company which we are- hypothetically- financially and operationally completely distinct from otherwise they're not allowed to count as a nonprofit. It's incredibly annoying and we have no actual management because the Interim Technology Director they brought on only cares about switching over the phone system and sales+marketing software and shit and has no plan for or interest in what to do about our actual products. No leadership means I just have to pick priorities myself based on how much trouble I'll be in if shit breaks, a quality that hopefully correlates with how much random people are panicking at me about it.

There has been... progress. Some things have been sorted out, and I've mostly handed off my LMS work for the old company (I wrote like 28 pages of documentation for this crap), and I've gotten a better picture of what's on fire and some ideas for how to put it out. But this is... probably going to continue through November, and I have a sneaking suspicion that when our Transition Services Agreement expires in December a lot of unexpected shit is going to break and we're going to be in panic mode again.

(On the plus side, I did negotiate for that raise my old boss couldn't get me, so that does technically cross something off my list for this month.)

So... I'm definitely not getting everything done this year. It's a shame, but... I mean, I did come up with fourteen new years' resolutions and followed through on most of them, which isn't nothing- and the failure is a result of an Unexpected Massive Life Change that was basically out of my control, so I can't feel too down on myself about it.

To reorient my remaining tasks, which I still want to shoot for by the end of the year...

I want to get the next big J/A update out, still. Once that's out it's a straight shot to the finish.

I want to do, like, four or five more TFJ recaps and get through the Dead Jane sub-arc.

I want to play and solve The Sekimeiya (probably going to try to do that this month, for November).

I'm giving up on...

completely catching up on recap logs, which I learned was a substantially bigger task than I planned for

running TPIVW games, which- in addition to Scheduling Adults Being Hard, I also can't really put out the call for it while I still have this thing unresolved with Snake, who... eesh, that relationship has severely deteriorated and I don't know how to fix it and trying to run games with him in the group like nothing happened would Not Work, and I can't just kick him from that without making it a flashpoint of things getting even worse. It's maybe a solvable problem but I can't dedicate mental energy to it while everything else is still this crazy.

finishing case 1 of J/A entirely- there'll still need to be a run of updates once all the evidence is on the table, and a climax which'll take a bunch of additional art. Confident I can get through it in early 2024 and launch case 2 sometime that same year, though.

[jodilin65]

Every time I log into Messenger, it asks me to input a code because some of my chat history is missing, and every time it sends this code to my old phone number, even though my current one is updated. I still don't get it.

Not happy that the misogynistic, gay-hating piece of shit is taking over again tomorrow, but you know what? We survived 4 years of him, and we'll do it again. I hate to say it, but if it wasn't for him, it would just be some other Republican with the same “values” and goals. Like it or not, this country is getting redder by the moment. On the bright side, maybe we won't have 20 million more people to burden and hoard our resources. I know most people are pro-immigration, but I feel how I feel. Sometimes what I feel is in the norms, and sometimes it isn't, and that's okay. I'm not going to hold back on my political feelings any more than I would hold back on my opinions about food, colors, entertainment, or whatever.

I know Trump is anti-Muslim, but I don't think he's as pro-Jew as Andy likes to think he is. I hope the dream I had last night isn't any warning of any kind. I don't think it is, though. In real life, you couldn't just look at me and tell I was of Ashkenazi descent, even though I consider myself as religious as this computer I'm working on. I don't have your typical Jewish nose, and I don't have darker hair and skin. I'm a pale, green-eyed brunette with a button nose.

In the dream, I guess a group of people, whoever they were, were after the Jews, and I was trying to find a place to hide. I spotted a distant cousin of mine sunbathing in a bikini and looking rather worried. I then ran into my house or apartment and went to lock myself in the bedroom, but then I realized that door didn't have a lock on it, so I went into the bathroom instead.

Anyway, I think I'm getting better, but I can't say for sure. Sometimes it seems like I'm not having as much of a burning sensation, but then I start burning again. I'm only halfway through treatment, though. 

Had a bit of lower back pain for a very brief time that ended up moving towards the side but still low down. More than likely, I just pulled a muscle.

The thing is that even though I slept okay with no breathing issues or outside sounds disturbing me, I have been absolutely exhausted all day. My fatigue is totally off the charts, and my mouth feels gross, but I know that's the antibiotics. They always kill that good bacteria. I'm trying to replace it with probiotic pills every day and hopefully escape a yeast infection too. If after another dose or two, I'm still having symptoms, I'm going to be really frustrated.

Tom got some Orajel because his gums were hurting. Between his phobia of dentists and our lack of money, he hasn’t dealt with it, so I really hope he doesn't have anything serious going on!

[chatter-gc]

OOH THIS IS SO COOL LIME DID U REALLY DO ALL THIS?!

yup! i tinkered around with the settings and sent you all links to get connected!

I LOVE IT THIS IS AWESOME!!

I’m so mad there’s no tan color option for me >:/ And the closest thing to tan is taken by bat guy over here… This is OUTRAGEOUS

o sry tan the text editor only supported 7 colors I didn’t meant 2 leave u out

Ugh. Well obviously we need a better way to tell who’s who other than color

hmmm…

Perhaps we should use icons to identify ourselves

o hi purp! 👋 yeah u r right we should that would be SO much easier

hey wait a minute I’ve got an idea!!

everyone pls use emojis before u type hopefully this will be clear enough to tell who is typing until I figure out how to assign all of us usernames

🦇 NO GUESSES AS TO WHAT MINE IS :D

🦌 there we go, hope no one mixes me up for this bat buffoon lol/j

🔧 hey purp r u gonna decide ur emoji yet?

🥽 Already have.

🔧 great!! so do we have anyone else that wants to join or r they 2 busy?

🦇 red n black r with me I asked them to watch me use it so they know how this chat site works in case they need to come on too

🦌 I still cannot fathom why that happy-go-lucky citrus bean had to drag me into this. He kept bugging me no matter how many times I tried to tell him I wasn't interested and wouldn't stop until I had typed at least something in this damn thing

🔧 hey i wasn't bugging u!!! i was inviting you! what did i even do to you?! D: also iirc u joined the moment u saw me log off of my blog

🦌 NO nuh uh you did not see that nope

🔧 uh... ok then so how's every1's day been?

🦌 Today was SOOO boring ugh I've only found two pieces of paper someone dropped into the vents that had anything interesting written on them

🦌 A flyer for some magic show and a cash receipt don't know who made or had either of em

🦌 I've been trying to go out for walks more often it's actually really relaxing

🦇 GREAT!!!

🥽 I guess it's been good

🥽 Mostly having to do tasks around MIRA

🔧 anyone wanna say something b4 we log off?

🦌 LATER HATERZ!! I've always dreamed of saying that!

🦇 THE ROOM I'M IN SMELLS LIKE HELIUM FOR SOME REASON

🥽 I don't think it's possible to smell helium, I'm pretty sure it's odorless

🦇 THEN WHAT IS THAT SMELL ANYWAY?

🦇 oh yeah black just told me it's actually red trying to cook lol

🔧 bye guys!! i hope we get 2 talk more in the future! :D

🥽 bye

🦇 BYE! :)

🦌 sure fine okay whatever byyeeee ✨

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

It's Been A Stressful Day But Hopefully It Will Be Better...And For Next Year

I know that one of the problems that I was having some days ago, was when I was on Tumblr, which it might of been around January I think when it started and well it's February now, and yeah apparently there was still a problem, cause my original password wasn't working despite the fact I tried to log on to fix well the last post that I had made around...let me check...

okay it was around January 24, 2024...

and during that time when trying to write that post that has to do with a type of fan theory the connection kept going on and off on me, which was only making me feel not too happy...

sure we figured out why it was happening and it was technically fixed.

but when I did log off after finally writing what I wanted to write down, I notice I forgot to put the word "just" when trying to explain the whole not just myself type of talk...and when I wanted to fix it and log back on, I was having trouble doing so because the connection kept going on and off on me....it pretty much stink.

and one of the reasons I hadn't tried to fix it until now, to ya know fix the post from January 24, 2024 to which I'm glad I was able to fix and there were other parts I needed to edit as well...

I think before I take some much needed Rest and Relax after today's events, even if one of the good things is that I was finally able to get on here...but I'm planing to log off for a few minutes or seconds and then log back in to see if everything is truly 100% okay, if so help me if it doesn't work, I might have to do it all over again...

even though today has been a bit stressful and a bit of a bad day...

the good day part was finally being able to post what I wanted to post and even talk about some fan theories.

I hope I can post something up for Valentine's Day in a few days, but I don't want to make any promises just saying that I hope to draw something for Valentine's Day and post it up on here on the same day.

after I log off for a few minutes or seconds and log back in, I will make another post on here, and then I will be going to bed...

because my having trouble sleeping before and then deciding to try to log on to tumblr only to find out my original password wasn't working, it makes me believe what was happening around January, might of messed up my original password...maybe the next time that happens, I will try not to log off or log on when the connection is acting up and hopefully it doesn't do something like that again...

anyway wish me luck in checking seeing everything is okay now.

also I do hope next year will be 100% better, even if this year has it's good side but it also had it's bad side too...like what was going on around January 24th, and I really hope that doesn't happen again.

[seven-cents]

dont like how the matryoshka logs were taking up so much space so I'm gonna copy and paste them here so can get rid of them

Day 1

Dear Devlog,

Today is day one of my long and mentally torturous journey. I am writing to you at the hour of 11am.

I have made minimal progress today. But important progress. Starting with setting up my normal preferences, running tests to get the ratio. Lame stuff, yknow.

I went on to outline many of the scenes and character sprites, there are quite a bit of them so it was arduous but thankfully my best friend, quentin, was here to help me out with a hip new video. His help will be invaluable throughout this timeframe. I love you quentinreviews.

I feel pretty good about how its going, and I'm sure as long as I don't sleep or do anything else for even a moment I'll be done in time. Easy peasy for me, the laziest most adhd person on the planet.

Word count: 0

I can only hope I can make it at least playable before the madness sets in.

Day 2

The madness has set in.

Dear devlog, I feel like a clown and not in the hot way. I got minimal sleep due to me being woken up at an unreasonable hour.

This morning I heard a crackling in my walls, like electricity behind my outlet. This was super concerning since I had a bunch of flammable shit near it. I immediately hopped up and started rearranging my entire room, moving all my canvasses and paint in boxes and whatnot, and in my cleaning I found what looked to be several tiny beads. The crackling had been a necklace I had on a shelf snapping and all the beads falling on the ground. Now I have to unpack everything.

I did however did get quite a bit done, though, 3000 words worth. Most of it is garbage that I'm going to rewrite like ten times but it's something.

Word count: 3,295

Day 3

Dear devlog,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

everything is a sick cesspit of misery

I got some sprites done tho. By done I mean they're NOTHIGN, but I will fix them later.

demon

Day 4

Didn't get any sleep last night! Had to do stuff today!

Yet, I'm still keeping up pace. With the power of a gallon of chocolate milk a day. HAHAHA.

now get in the hole cunt

Day 5

Dear Devlog,

I've grown to dislike these horrible paints. I have to use craft paints because they're not shiny. They're fifty cents each so I've bought maybe fifty of them. They're all brown and green. All I dream of is brown and green. I hate brown and green.

Who knows what I'll do with them when I finish.

Day 6

Gonna be hard times for the next few days. Won't be able to paint as much but hopefully I can make up for that in writing. Which is terrible because I only have a million paintings to do. Regardless, I can program and write at the same time. nbd.

Words: 4851

Day 7

I didn't update last night because I was so tired! and I had to take time out of my schedule for my weeping break.

The thing about this painting is, I hate it. Like it's way too late to change the colors or pretty much anything without losing a day. That's the problem with doing traditional art, I can't make tweaks without losing so much time. I'm on day 8, that's a little over a fourth way through and I'm looking at my checklist and I'm gonna throw up. But also it's okay. I'm moving things around to keep the important stuff first so some things may be cut.

Day 8

The name is starting to piss me off. I keep having to look it up to remember how to spell it.

I painted rats today.

Day 9

Wahoo! i finshed some painting. Some of the easiest but good enough. I want to get all of them through with by the twentieth so I can make alternates and then digitally edit them in the next ten days. I think I can have a scene and the menu done by today but who knows.

Day 10

couldnt do anything got too sick from pizza cookie

Day 11

look at this fucking bitch what the fuck is his problem

Day 12

I dont think i wanna paint ever again.

its like on every surface of my room. why am i like this why did i wanna do this. oh yeah, its my drive to be the best in the universe.

Day 13

People are gonna make fun of me for making a character look like a vagina. I KNOW I KNOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A VAGINA. you dont understand yuri.

Day 14

I've gotten most of the backgrounds almost done. I've got the sprites almost done. Well I don't have the hallway even remotely done because I just sort of forgot it was there. CGs need to be done. I've only got the sketches.

Day 15

ive watched all of adventure time painting these. now i need a new show.

Day 16

Yeah baby parts of the gui are done. Rats are done. That's all I really need right?

Day 17

behold. all my goddam sprites. there's at least fifteen. almost complete bitches.

Day 18

Have you ever seen a prettier textbox? No you haven't.

Day 19

I don't waaaaaaanna paint. I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna have to be like okay what colors should I use here if I fuck up I have to do everything over again. How many times do I have to paint the same thing. I hate painting AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Day 20

My goal was around 10000 words I'm like 9379 so like I'm almost there baby but it will probably be shorter. I might cut some things.

Day 21

8 days left. I have so much to do in eight days.

Day 22

ITS DAY 22

I stopped updating after this because i lost my cunting mind.

[lexijaynex]

🪸DAY 17 (9/29/23)🌊

I’m online now, it’s 3:45am. Going to cam for two hours, take a break and get back on around 6:45a-7a and cam until 10a. Gonna log as I go, so let’s get it!! I’m listening to my little Monodrone and Synth-wave music, and I’m watching Boze’s 7 hour true crime marathon. There are currently 177 Ebonies online, so I think I got on at a good little time.

———

It’s 4:42a, I’ve been online for 57 minutes and I’ve made $1! Whew! It’s a hot mess, but I’ve mentioned that 2-4a was slow for me, and look what happened—wasted my time lol. I had a few people acting new or trying to get over, so I ended up making this preset message:

If they wanna act like I’m green and brand new iI’ll treat them like they are too!! ;)

——

Anyways I’m 1hr17min in, $1 in earnings. I have 5 more hours to go. I’m just shooting for $186, nothing big, hopefully I can make it, at the very least half hell!!

✨My money affirmation: Money comes to me, easily, don’t have to worry ‘bout a thing!✨

———

Alright! I have been online for 1hr 56 minutes, I have made $1.50!! Yes, I have made a McChicken lol!

I am about to take that lil' break and get back on in another hour. I will say, the 4am hour isn't the best, and I've learned (several times over) that my regulars and newbies usually come in around 5:30-6:30am-ish, so I'm gonna hold out and push through it!

Now, I did ask a customer how the site was acting to him and he said it was glitchy on his laptop, but it works perfectly on his phone, so that makes me feel better to know that I'm not trippin lol! I also heard from a regular that the privates have been lagging pretty bad, but it's been that way for years, which is why they get offline shows from me, and I get it.

I just refuse to just give up today! It's pay day, and somebody is finna bless my damn pockets THIS MORNING!!

——-

I’m still trying my best to push thru! I’ve been online for 3hr32mins. I’ve made $55 and some change. It’s been slow as hell boo, but ima keep pushin. I’m at least gonna try to make $100 out of this morning. I will get online later tonight/tomorrow, most likely during the late night. It’s strikes going on, the govt shutting down, but chile all I can do is keep pushin! On the bright side I’m home, and not spending no money to work in a club during this crisis!

I have noticed, and I think I’ve mentioned it before. When people don’t have a lot of money to spend, if any at all, THEY WILL TALK and talk and talk! I’ve noticed that this morning, a few of my regulars have been talking my fingers off. Maybe they just want a little conversation, and I’m fine with that, but I’ve noticed that the more they talk the shorter the show or the less money they end up spending. When they have it, they spend it! Just like when I used to go window shopping at the mall, seeing what I liked, looking around knowing I don’t have the funds lol. I spend a longer time looking around, than just going and buying what I want when I have the coin to spend. It’s basically the same thing! I’m fine with them testing the waters a bit and letting them get to know my personality, but for the most part, run me some coin! I’m not finna be talking too damn long now! I type a lot more than I talk, because a lot of them just want my attention and acknowledgment. So if they’re brand new I don’t talk until they tip or we go private, I just type to them, and regulars I do a little talking and more typing until they spend some money. It just saves me energy!

Anywho, it’s 9:14a, I’m getting off this mf at 10:00a, turning my air down and taking a damn nap lol!

———

Okay last 18 minutes, it's 9:42a, I made $68! Bish I been online all damn morning lol, but I'm not finna complain too much. It's been a few times where I've been online for longer and have made less. I just gotta stack it up through the day chile. I wanted to make that $100 this morning, but I need a damn break!!! Looking at my stats, I really could’ve just saved those first two hours, because I made $67 in 2 hours, my last hour online was kind of a bust too. Soooo looking at it like that, it’s not THAT bad, but still, DAMN!😂

——

Okay, I logged off at 10:10a, and I made $68 this morning. I really need to split cam, I'm actually gonna start it ASAP, because depending on one site ain't havin it for me! I’ve been splitting here and there, but bump that, I’m gonna get on a split cam schedule and stick to it. I'm grateful for the lil coin, don’t get me wrong, but sheesh lol! My ass will be back online today though, so let me shut up and go take a nap lol!

I'll ttyl, thanks for reading!! 💕

[job-search-emotional-support]

When you don't manage to even apply :(

Yesterday I saw the job posting of my dreams. I said to myself, "Wow. I have to apply to this one. But I want to do it perfectly, cover letter and everything. Tonight, I'm too tired. I'll do it tomorrow." And then when I logged in today, the job posting was gone. Not available any more.

I was really, really sad and disappointed. Wow, it felt so bad.

I have been getting a lot of rejection emails lately so it's really easy to be like "they wouldn't have wanted me anyway" and it feels like I'm transforming my sadness into a different kind of self-directed bitterness.

So what to do instead?

There's only one thing I can do, really: forgive myself. Okay, so this happened. (It's not even the first time this happened, by the way.) It's useless to think of all the "what if"s.

Give myself grace. It's okay to make mistakes. We all do. Just the fact that I opened up the job posting link again means I was going to get to work and apply. And I have been applying consistently lately. Take a small action in the right direction. I immediately applied for two more jobs by that company. Are they perfect fits? No. Did I make cover letters and all? No. But I took the steps and sent in the applications. And at least now, I did something. Remember that done is better than perfect. And now is better than later. If I learned something from this experience, it's this: when you see a job that really clicks with you, apply then and there, even if the application is not "perfect". Having a cover letter or not might not change the outcome of the application that much. But applying or not applying does change the outcome by a LOT. And perfectionism (at least for me) often leads to not doing things.

This happens to everyone sooner or later. Now I'll go take the rest of the day off for some self care. And hopefully, tomorrow I'll go back to the job search and to the applications, and to taking the actions that maybe someday are going to lead me to a job... Take care. 🩷