#okay help sorry i was convinced as a child that renee was like 30 but i dont think she is so that one i mean when i was 8.

[cruelsister-moved2]

my feminine woman smashes uhh renee from mew mew power, piper from charmed, morgana from bbc merlin, gwen from bbc merlin, this one gaelic folksinger and radio broadcaster called kathleen macinnes, sandy denny, bert jansch (bert jansch is a feminine woman to me), hayley williams

[madelinecoffee]

On Her Own Ch. 2

Summary: 10 years into being a vampire on her own Bella meets Esme at the bookstore where she works, and Esme brings her home hoping Bella will choose to join their family. A/N: Oh my gosh the fact that people are reading this story has blown me away. If you reblogged it or let me know you liked it thank you, I literally am just writing this because I enjoy it. But you people telling me you like it means the world. Here you go another chapter  Words: 2149 Previous Chapters: Ch. 1

Jasper and Esme had made sure that no one tried to sidetrack Bella as she told the Cullen’s her story, Edward had when Bella said she grew up in Forks. And the poor girl was frightened, she was already so nervous about telling them and trying to answer Edward’s question was hard. Jasper smirked as he thought of her emotions; this young vampire was definitely smitten with his brother.

“My dad the police chief, he was quiet and strong and had a great mustache.” Bella smiled at the memory, “He was great, he was busy but he always made time for me. He used to take me fishing with him, even though I’d just read it was special. He and my mom, René fought a lot. She had wanted to leave when I was a baby but I don’t think she was responsibility enough to care for a baby” Bella sighed and Rosalie spoke up.

“What do you mean she wasn’t responsible enough for a baby? You were her child she should’ve wanted to care for you.” Rosalie sounded confused and slightly angry

“She was forgetful, my dad did all the bills and that stuff. If he didn’t I would’ve had to. Once I was about 8 I started taking over the cooking and the cleaning. I think my mom thought I liked it, but I just did it because she didn’t seem to want to.” Bella gave a tiny smile, “I’m quiet the people pleaser, my dad always told me I didn’t have to cook or clean or any of the house work. But I know he appreciated it. Mom just went off doing whatever was her thing for that day.”

Esme spoke up, “What do you mean sweetie?”

Bella tried not to preen at the name, “She was forgetful and really just a free spirit. Her and my dad fought a lot.  She was always wanting to leave Forks and go somewhere else, but he couldn’t leave he was the chief. Honestly I don’t think she understood me at all, she was loud and spunky and always making friends and talking to people. She always wanted to change or do something different. She was convinced I should go blonde.  I didn’t like any of that stuff. I was more like my dad, he was thoughtful and he just knew things. He used to call me Bells.” Her lip trembled, “I miss him.”

Jasper tried to ease the pain she was feeling but she brushed him off and continued, “After I got out of high school he had a heart-attack unexpectedly and died. I was a wreck for the year after, between me and my mom I was the adult so I was grieving while dealing with her grieving. I was paying bills and planning his funereal and trying to figure out what I wanted to do next with my life. And it was just doing it all.”

Alice spoke up, “Oh Bella that’s horrible!”

Bella shrugged, “Its just how it is.” But Alice huffed in irritation, “I tried to work through it I got his badge number and Chief Swan tattooed on my side so he’d always be close to my heart. And he always will be now.”

Bella bit her lip and took a calming breath; she hated talking about her change but that’s where she was in her story.

“So I was about to turn 20, I was gearing up to take community college classes because I just didn’t know what I wanted to do. Some of the guys form La Push and I had gone camping when it happened. The man had long hair and his mate had bright red hair, he said-said he had never smelled anything so good. Apparently the legends are true because after he bite me Jacob went full wolf and tore him to shreds, but the red-head got away. Sometimes I worry she’ll find me and that she blames me for taking her mate. But I mostly try not to think about it.” Bella drew in a shaky breath.

“Jacob knew what was happening, and he stayed with me while I burned. It was easy to leave Forks after that. Rene had been dating this man named Phil and had been staying with him. I just left her a note saying I needed to be away from Forks. And I took the important things with me.”

Carlisle spoke, “And that was it? You’re still legally alive?”

Bella nodded, “Um, yeah. It’s helped because Charlie left me his pension.”

Esme spoke next, “There was never any word from your mother?”

Bella felt her lib quivering overwhelmed with the compassion of Esme’s tone, “No I haven’t. I still have the same number, same email. She knows how to contact me. I guess it’s just easier to pretend that me and Charlie never happened.” Venom started to fill her eyes and Esme was by her in an instant as was Alice pushing Edward off the love seat.  Esme pulled Bella into her arms as she cried and Alice rubbed her back.

It took a few minuets for Bella to calm down; she wiped her eyes on her sleeves. “That’s why I don’t think I’m meant for a family. My own mom doesn’t even want me.”

Rosalie spoke with such venom Bella cowered into Esme, “Well your mother’s an idiot. What I wouldn’t give to have a child and here she is with one and she doesn’t even acknowledge your existence!”

Esme started stroking Bella’s hair, which seemed to sooth Bella who slumped against Esme. “It’s not fair that any of that happened to you Bella, and it’s no doubt that you’ve done very well on your own. But we’d still love to have you as part of our family.” Everyone nodded.

“Yeah Bella, Edward here can’t be the odd one out forever!” Emmett bolstered

“Emmett!” Edward sputtered

Bella sniffled, “You’d really want me?”

Carlisle spoke, “Bella, both me and Esme see the rest of our coven as our kids and we would love it if you’d be our daughter too.”

Bella bit her lip and snuggled further into Esme’s loving embrace, “I’m not sure”

Esme spoke up, “That’s okay sweetie. Why don’t you spend the weekend with us and see what you think okay?”

Bella nodded, “Okay but I’ll have to run by my place to get some clothes.”

Alice burst up, “I have a whole closet already set up for you! And I know you don’t like fashion. But there’s some soft t-shirts and sweaters, and everything is in your size.”

Bella turned away from Esme to hug Alice, “Thank you Alice, no one’s ever bought me anything like that before.”

Alice chuckled, “Well you better get used to it! I’m quiet good at the stock market and you need someone to take care of you for a change!”

Bella could feel that shopping for Bella was what Alice really wanted so she smiled and tightened her hug.

--

After the rest of the family had dispersed around the house, Esme and Alice lead Bella up to what would be her room. She was intrigued with the rest of the Cullen and she admitted to herself, she was attracted to Edward and wanted to get to know him. But he made her nervous, as did Emmett and Jasper. They both looked like they rarely lost a fight. And Bella had her fair share of run-ins with some not so friendly nomads. She felt more comfortable with Esme for now, and Alice was kind as well.

Esme held her hand as she led her up the stairs at a human pace, Bella was grateful for Esme holding her hand. It made her feel grounded, and although she was a grown-up. She was almost 30 for god’s sake! She still needed a mother though; she wanted to be part of this family. She was just afraid.

They walked into a room with windows facing the forest, and a queen bed against the wall.

“We’ll obviously decorate it however you want Bella, but we figured this could be your space. We’ll get you some book cases, I know you’ll need them” Esme listed off

Alice clapped her hands, “Oh this will be such fun! We haven’t decorated a new room in forever! I’ll get my laptop and we can start ordering!” She was out and back in a flash. “And Bella, your part of our family that means our money is yours. Don’t worry about the prices, it’s okay!”

The girls settled on Bella’s new bed as they decided on some bookcases and a cozy chair, and some decals for the wall. They got Bella new sheets that Alice said were really soft and a large comforter for the bed that had star designs on it.

Esme spoke up as they were finishing, “Even if you decide against being part of our family, you can always stay with us.” Esme kissed her head and Bella felt herself sagging against the women and she embraced her.

Esme spoke softly, “Do you want to go to bed sweetie?” She felt Bella nod against her, “I have some pajamas that should fit you. Give me a second okay.” Bella didn’t want her to let go; she hadn’t realized just how much she missed someone caring for her. But she nodded and let go, but she didn’t need to worry Esme was back in a flash with a large button up nightshirt. “Its really soft and it should cover all the necessary parts “We’ll let you get changed, okay?”

Bella slipped into the nightshirt, it was very comfortable. She’d have to ask Esme where she got it. She took out her braid and brushed her fingers through her hair to loosen it.

She stepped out of her room and ran straight into Edward chest where Edward let out an ‘ope’.

“I’m so sorry Edward! I was too in my head I guess” Bella smiled up at him, she hadn’t realized just how tall he was and that hair of his added another bit of height.

“Don’t worry Bella, I was in wrapped up in my thoughts too.” Edward smiled down at her, “You look really pretty by the way. I know you’re just going to bed, but yeah you look nice.”

Bella knew she’d be as red as a tomato if she was human, instead she bit her lip and tried to use her hair to hide her face but Edward pushed it behind her hair. “Don’t be embarrassed Bella, I could compliment you a thousand times and it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.”

“Thank you, I was just trying to find Esme to say goodnight.”

Edward smiled kindly, “She’s just down the stairs she was just letting us talk. But I’ll let you go goodnight lovely Bella”

“Goodnight Edward”

When Bella bounded down the stairs she had to smile at the scene, Esme was tucked into Carslie’s side reading a book while he read his own. Alice and Rose were designing something together on an i-pad, and Bella had a supsision it had to do with her as alice kept glancing her way. Emmett and Jasper were playing some video game together and they all seemed perfectly content. Her non-beating heart hurt for a moment with want, she desperately wanted to be part of this family but she wasn’t sure if she could be.

Before she could get too lost in her own thoughts Esme stood up noticing Bella. “Are you headed up to bed Bella?” When she nodded, Esme came towards her, “Wonderful I’ll come tuck you in” Bella felt vemon pool her in eyes again, what it would have been like to have a mother who tucked her in at night.

“Headed to bed already Bella?” Emmett said aloud pausing the game him and Jasper were playing, “Don’t you want to help me kick Jasper’s butt?” Bella giggled but shook her head. And one by one she was embraced by the Cullen family, each wishing her a good nights sleep and telling her the nightshirt suited her and that she looked cute.

Esme held her hand as she brought up stairs and help the think comforter open so Bella could climb in, and sat by Bella’s side for a moment stroking her hair.

“I really hope you decided to stay Bella, I’d love you to be my daughter.” Esme told her softly before kissing her head as Bella nodded to overcome by emotion to respond with her words, “Edward is across the hall if you need anything in the night, and we’re all a shout away if you need anything. I love you sweetie.”

With that Bella slipped into the most comforted sleep she had, well ever, knowing the house was filled with people who just wanted her to be part of their family. Maybe she could stay.