#okay but like....... why did this part make me tear up a tiny bit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wren-writes-stuff · 7 days ago

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From Under The Desk

JaycexFem!Reader

Modern College AU

You have a paper due at midnight. A very important one. You absolutely CANNOT afford to be distracted.

Jayce distracts you.

Warnings: 18+ (this is basically just smut without plot tbh.) Reader is AFAB. Oral sex, cunnilingus, descriptions of genitalia. Small age gap? Like, only a year or two. Does that count? Idk let me know if i missed something <3

You scrubbed a hand across your face, exhaustion tugging at your eyes. It wasn't actually that late- it was only about seven pm. But, you'd stayed up all of last night writing this damned paper, only to go and spend a full day in class afterwards. And now here you were, hunched over your desk like a vulture pecking at your keyboard.

Getting the words down was the easy part. It was making them make sense that made your brain hurt. The amount of words you'd back-spaced over was probably comparable to the ones you'd actually kept.

You took a swig of your energy drink, wincing as the carbonation hit the back of your throat. You don't know why you bothered honestly; it wasn't doing anything for you at this point.

It was then that you heard the lock on the front door click, and the telltale shuffling sounds of someone entering your tiny apartment.

"I'm home!"

You heard Jayce's muffled voice through your bedroom door, but you made no effort to tear your attention away from your computer screen.

"Hon?" You heard him call again, "You home?"

More shuffling. Then, he knocked softly on the door before opening it. "Hon?" He repeated.

"Hey," you said automatically, fingers still flying across your keyboard.

"Hey, you." You could hear the smile in his voice, and it made your stomach flutter a little. "I picked up some takeout for dinner- I even got those little crab rangoons you love."

In your head, you meant to say something like, 'Wow! Thank you, my love. Im so excited to eat my favorite food with you!' But you didn't, leaving only an awkward pause in the back and forth you could barely call a conversation. You scrolled back to the top of your paper to re-read it, skimming for mistakes. Ah- there's a typo here. It should be "perceived", not-

"Hey, are you okay? Did you hear me?"

"What?" You bristled a little bit, annoyed to have been interrupted. You finally turned around to acknowledge him, trying to hide your chagrin. "Oh...sorry. Um, thank you. That was thoughtful."

It had taken a moment to force your eyes to focus on him, after staring at a bright screen for so long. When they did, you found he looked significantly more chipper than you felt. That made sense, you supposed. He had been freed from the confines of student life already, no longer bogged down by trivial things like homework and exams. Lucky bastard.

His eyes grazed across your face, then the rest of your body- and stopped when he found something interesting.

"You're wearing my hoodie,". He said. Irritation clawed at your stomach, and you swallowed the 'so what?' rising in your throat. You really just wanted to get back to work.

"It's comfy," you said instead, shrugging. "Sorry. I hoped you wouldn't mind. Do you want it back?" He shook his head, starting towards you.

"No, it looks good on you. Keep it on." He leaned down to peck you on the cheek, and you smiled tiredly at him. His hair was slightly tousled from a long day at work, and his chiseled cheekbones were smeared with grease. His cologne was mixed with the smell of coal and something vaguely chemical. Truthfully, what you really wanted was to yank off the hoodie, and his clothes too, and pull him into the shower with you- but there was no time for that now. You swiveled your chair around again, going back to your work.

"Im sorry," you said, "This paper is due in a couple of hours and I need to get it done. You should go ahead and eat if you're hungry. You don't have to wait. And please take a shower."

"What?" He teased, "You don't like the smell of hydraulic fluid?" He wrapped his arms around you and dropped his chin on top of your head. You found it difficult to keep yourself upright under his immense weight.

"No, I don't," you huffed. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but I need to focus on this. But once I'm done, I'm yours for the rest of the night, okay?"

The weight was lifted as he moved away from you, chuckling. "Alright, Alright. I'll leave you to it. God, it's kinda hot when you're mean to me. Maybe you should do that more often."

You swatted his arm, staring incredulously, and he ducked away as he laughed again. "I'm not being mean to you. I thought I was being pretty polite all things considered."

"You are mean to me," he whined. "You wont even let me give you my love and attentioonnn." He gave you fake puppy dog eyes, and you snatched a pencil off your desk, holding it up like you were going to chuck it at him.

"Get out," you warned. He held up his hands in surrender and backed out the door, eyes full of mirth.

"I bet you'd be nicer to me if you ate something."

You threw the pencil as hard as you could, but he shut the door before it reached him, and it bounced off the wood instead. You heard him cackling on the other side, before you heard his heavy footsteps move away.

You huffed, running your fingers through your hair. It was greasy, and in need of a good combing-through. You hadn't really had time for a shower yourself; but it could wait a little longer. You went back to your pecking.

Too soon, you heard the bedroom door open again. "Back already?" You asked mechanically.

"Already?" He repeated. "It's been like an hour." You glanced at the clock on the bottom corner of your screen. He was right. You'd been so focused that you didn't realize how long it had been.

"Whoops." You still didn't cease your typing.

You felt his weight upon you the same as before, forcing a wheeze from your lungs. "Why are you so heavy?" You huffed.

He chuckled, and you felt the vibrations against your back. The two of you stayed there like that for a moment, and you rubbed your eyes again. His warmth was comforting, and dangerously cozy. You were going to fall asleep at this rate. You shrugged, trying to get him to move off of you- but he didn't budge. Instead, he pressed his face into your neck, and his hair tickled your cheek. It was still damp, and you could smell his shampoo- like mint, and something darker, more earthy. You tilted your head to kiss the top of his own, breathing in the scent; but never taking your eyes away from your computer.

"Your food's getting cold, love." His breath tickled your skin, giving you butterflies again. "You should come eat something. You'll feel better."

"Can't," you muttered. Even if you wanted to, the caffeine you'd been chugging all day dampened your appetite, despite your empty stomach. He was probably right, but if you stopped now, you might not be able to start again. You had to capitalize on your focus; you couldn't afford to lose it.

Jayce brushed his lips against your jaw, pressing little kisses into the bone, and down your neck. He trailed a hand down your arm, the one opposite to him, and slipped it across your thigh, into the space between your legs-

'What do you think you're doing?" He stood up straight, taking his hand back. You glared at him, half annoyed, and half aroused. It was only now that you realized he wasn't wearing a shirt- just a pair of sweatpants that accentuated his girth in just the right way. You could see every muscle he worked so hard to build on full display, and your breath hitched. His tanned skin was just as damp as his hair, still shining with water. You wondered if he'd even bothered to dry off when he got out of the shower.

"I'm sorry. I can stop if you really want me to," he said gently. He looked down at you with something on his face you couldn't quite read. He wasn't frowning, nor smiling. His eyebrows were quirked upward just slightly, eyes half lidded. His expression was somewhere between lust and fatigue, you decided. Maybe he'd had a long day, too.

You blinked, trying to keep your eyes open. Maybe you didn't want him to stop- but you had to get this done if you had any hope of graduating next semester. You couldn't afford to fail this class. You looked away from him, feeling torn. In the corner of your eye, you watched him kneel beside you, and felt the weight of his head in your lap. He slid his hands around your waist, one of them between you and the back of your chair, and the other across your lap.

"You don't have to stop," you said quietly. "But I can't, either. This is important."

"Is that what you want though? For me to keep going, I mean?"

You nodded, swallowing thickly. "I do. I just need you to understand that I'm not ignoring you to be mean; I don't want to hurt your feelings because I'm not being an active participant."

He lifted his head, shifting himself between your legs. He had to duck and curl himself up awkwardly to fit himself underneath your desk- it was kind of cute, actually, watching him trying to fit his giant shoulders and long legs into such a tight space.

"I don't think that at all," he said when he was finally comfortable. "I know this it's important to you." He slid his hands up your thighs, letting one of his thumbs land on the spot where he knew your clit to be. He stroked it gently through the fabric of your pants, and you bit your lip to stop the gasp trapped in your throat. His other hand grasped your hip, massaging the soft malleable flesh of your curves with his thumb. He rested his cheek on your knee, looking up at you lovingly.

"You just seem so stressed," he said. "I wanna help you relax." He punctuated his words by swiveling his hand around, sliding his fingers under the curve of your pelvis. Well, 'relaxed' isn't the word you would use to describe yourself right now. A coil had wound itself inside your stomach, and your legs were tense with anticipation. In his hands, you were putty. You couldn't think straight anymore. You tried to focus, tried to keep your eyes on the prize. You were almost done here. Just a couple more paragraphs to go, and then you could-

"Oh-" you gasped involuntarily, something girlish and high pitched. Your face burned with embarrassment- you'd never made a noise like that before. But you couldn't help it- not with the way he was sliding his fingers into you now. You hadn't even realized he had managed to tug your pants down enough to expose you to him.

His other hand, previously on your hip, had slid up your sweater. It was on the small of your back now, pressing you forward. He drew his fingers out of you, slowly, and you bucked your hip forwards with a groan. He was moving so, so slowly. He was being so gentle and sweet, you thought your teeth were going to rot and fall out of your skull. He leaned forward, kissing your stomach, moving down to the side- to your hip, in the crease of your skin where your pelvis met your thigh. You shivered; his lips brushed you so lightly it tickled a bit. Your fingertips buzzed with electricity as you tried to keep typing. But then you felt his tongue sliding between your folds and you couldn't do it anymore.

You let your eyes flutter shut, letting him finally overtake your thoughts completely. You buried your face in your hands, trying to control your ragged breathing as he moved his tongue up, and down, slowly, gently. He pushed his tongue inside of you, lapping at you like he hadn't had a drop to drink in days. You whined, sliding a hand under the desk to grab his hair, to bring him closer to you. You could hear him panting, feel his breath against your pubic mound. His movements grew more desperate at your touch, ever eager to please.

You laid your other arm on the table, resting your head on it like a pillow. You really couldn't stop the sounds escaping from you now. Every gasp, moan, and whimper from you only seemed to further spur him, urging him to move faster. He alternated between fucking you with his tongue, reaching as far inside of you as he could manage, and moving back up to lick tiny circles around your clit.

You moved your hips with his rhythm, desperate for more friction as you felt yourself growing closer and closer to the edge. "Jayce," you whispered shakily, "I-I'm really- mmmfh- close-"

He didn't let up even a little bit, even when you leaned back, pushing his head against you so hard you were worried he'd suffocate. You were almost blinded by pleasure, the coil winding itself tighter and tighter- until it finally snapped.

You cried out his name like a prayer, over and over again as you shook. You clamped your thighs around his ears, wrapping your legs together over his shoulders. You tugged on his hair like it was a lifeline, feeling every crashing tidal wave of your orgasm in full force as your back arched away from your chair. You practically sobbed, your eyes watering. You couldn't help it. It was so good.

He finally stopped when he sensed you'd had enough, slumping in your chair like a rag doll as exhaustion racked your brain through the afterglow. He pulled back, his face shiny with spit and slick. You smiled at him, before letting your head flop back as you closed your eyes.

'That was hot," he whispered. You snorted, not opening your eyes. You felt his fingers brush your skin as he pulled your pants back up, and shivered slightly when the cold wet fabric of your underwear met your overly-sensitive groin. You pressed your toes against the floor to push your chair from under the table so he'd have room to get out.

"That didn't take very long, either" he teased. "You must have been pretty pent up." You heard shuffling as he stood, and you finally opened your eyes when you felt his lips brush against your forehead. You flicked his shoulder.

"You're just good at what you do."

He smiled, his eyes flickering across your face. You reached up to rub your thumb across his chin, trying to wipe off some of the remaining fluids. He grabbed your wrist and pressed a kiss into your palm before you could withdraw it, never taking his eyes off of you.

"Come eat something, please," he whispered. You sighed and glanced at the clock again, considering it- it was almost 9:15. There was still time.

"Alright, alright," you resigned. "Give me five minutes, and I'll be right there."

Jayce made a face you couldn't discern, and let go of your hand. "Okay," he said, and stepped out of the room.

He came back ten minutes later to find you still at your computer. "I couldn't wait any longer," he said- making you jump.

"Augh, I'm sorry, Jayce," you said- and you meant it.

"It's okay," he shrugged, "I had a feeling this might happen. You get so sucked in sometimes. It's endearing, actually."

He set two styrofoam boxes next to you, and opened another for himself. "I thought I would just bring dinner in here. Maybe I could help you edit? Make things go a little faster so we can get you in the shower?" He smirked, sitting on the edge of the bed. It was lodged into the corner of the room, with the desk beside it like an oversized nightstand. There'd be no room to move about, otherwise.

You cracked open the first box, choosing to ignore his quip, and your mouth watered at the sight of your favorite food inside. Ugh, even cold it smelled amazing. You shoveled it into your face with the flimsy plastic fork, newfound hunger making itself evident. You looked to Jayce, intending to thank him for the meal; but you found he was looking at you expectantly.

'What?" You asked through a mouthful of food.

"Did you want my help?"

Oh.

You swallowed.

"Sorry. Um, yes. That might be nice honestly. I could use a break."

He set his food aside, chuckling. "The first one wasn't enough?" He teased. You scowled, only pretending to be upset.

"Whatever man. Switch me places." You stood up to give him your chair, and he complied- though he had to pull the lever under the seat to lower it, to make room for his mile-long legs.

"Alright, let's see, here..."He squinted as he read your work, and you took the opportunity to admire him. God, he really was incredibly handsome. His long, calloused fingers looked enormous over your keyboard compared to your own. His bulky shoulders hunched forward, pulling the skin of his back taught over his muscles. You bit your lip, feeling your arousal coming back through your fatigue. He glanced at you, and you blushed when you caught him staring; as if you hadn't been together long enough by now that this wasn't embarrassing. But he still never failed to give you the warm-and-fuzzies so to speak. He smiled, laughing through his nose.

"What're you looking at?"

You twirled your hair with exaggeration. "Oh, yknow. Just this cute guy I have a crush on, or whatever," you flirted. He rolled his eyes, still grinning to himself.

"Eat your food, dork." He looked back to the screen, and you did what you were told.

It didn't take long. You wolfed down your dinner so fast you even surprised yourself. You stood to collect your trash, and kissed the top of Jayce's head before heading to the kitchen to dispose of it properly. When you came back, he was already standing up to stretch.

"It looks good to me," he said- with his arms over his head, his obliques were in full view and it made you just about weak in the knees. "I think it's ready to submit, if you're happy with it."

You thought about re-reading it one more time- just to be sure- but your brain was so foggy with exhaustion (and maybe some arousal). You trusted Jayce's judgement, too. He'd graduated summa cum laude last year, after all. You were sure he knew what he was talking about.

"Thank you, love. I really appreciate your help." You patted his chest with a weary smile, and sat down to submit it. When you were finally able to click your laptop shut, you were just about to collapse. You looked over to find Jayce already waiting for you in bed, and he opened his arms for you.

"C'mere, you," he crooned softly. You complied, shutting off the table lamp before you crawled across the blankets to meet him. He pulled them over the two of you, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. You buried your face in his chest, breathing in the scent of mint and clean bedsheets. You suddenly felt self conscious, remembering you had forgotten to bathe.

You sat up. "I'm gonna take a shower real quick actually-" but he yanked you back down before you could move, burying his nose in your hair.

"Nooooo," he mumbled. "Stay with me."

"Jaaaayce," you whined, "I smell terrible. Wouldn't you rather I got cleaned up before bed?"

He didn't move, keeping you pinned between his arms. "Mmm, girl stink."

"You- what?" You sputtered, laughing at the absurdity. You tried to move, but he was already snoring softly. You couldn't tell if he was faking it or not, but you gave in anyway. You tangled your legs with his, letting his warmth overtake you and carry you to sleep at last.

#arcane #arcane fanfic #jayce talis #fanfiction #arcane jayce #jayce league of legends #jayce x reader #wattpad #writing #arcane smut #smut #Jayce wants to help #boy does he #this may or may not be based off my real life husband WHO SAID THAT

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honeyedmiller · 1 month ago

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A Burning Desire part seven

firefighter!joel x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist

rating: explicit. 18+, minors do not interact.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, extreme vulnerability, brief mentions of emotional abuse and manipulation in a past relationship, mentions of infidelity in a past relationship, shit ton of fluff, smut (nipple play, teensy bit of dirty talk, semi-public?? firetruck fucking!!! unprotected piv, ass play, ass slapping, brief choking, spitting, cum eating), reader’s brothers and tommy are little shits as always, no use of y/n.

word count: 7.1k

a/n: i’ve been feeling a little feral lately which resulted in the smut. apologies🧍‍♀️and yes that third picture is the 911 lonestar firehouse LMAO it was perfect for this okay 😭 anyway i hope y’all enjoy <3

synopsis: a drunken joel asks you to take your relationship with him to the next level.

A week had passed since Joel’s birthday party, and you’re now alone in a house that’s usually bustling with people.

Sarah had gone off for the weekend to spend the night at a friend’s house while Joel went out with Tommy, your brothers, and Josh. You were curled up on the couch reading an invigorating romance novel. The quietness was accompanied by the ticking clock above the mantle and the soft scrape of paper rubbing against paper as you turned the page of your book.

You find yourself so immersed in the book that when your phone rings, it nearly startles you half to death. You pick it up to see Emily FaceTiming you, and you dog-ear the page you’re on before setting the book down and sliding the answer button.

“Hey Emi,” you smile at her as you bring your knees to your chest.

“Hey sis. How are you?”

“I’m good. Just reading a book and drinking some wine,” you say, lifting your glass up for her to see. She grins and holds up her water bottle, making you laugh.

“You got the house to yourself?” She asks. You nod, chewing on your bottom lip.

“Sarah is at a friend’s and, you know, Joel is out with the boys.”

“The boys,” she snorts. “I can’t believe they all actually formed a little friend group and are going out.”

“Tell me about it. I’ll take this over Andy and Cole chewing Joel’s head off any day, though.”

“Seriously. Remember how long it took them to stop torturing Josh?”

You think back to when your brothers would give Josh shit a lot when Emily first brought him around, but he stuck it out because he’s so head over heels for Emi… as he should be. Good man.

“God, yeah. I also remember mom yelling at them both, saying something like ‘this is why you’re both single’,” you laugh at the memory, taking a sip of your wine.

“I remember that, too. But I’m glad Josh stuck around,” she has a soft smile on her face before she twists her lips to the side.

“Okay, so, I have something to tell you. But you can’t tell anybody. Well, you can tell Joel if you want,” she sighs, and you furrow your brows.

“Is everything okay? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. In fact, everything is perfect. You know how I told mom like a week ago at Joel’s birthday party that Josh and I didn’t use… anything on our honeymoon?”

You nod, recalling the moment in Joel’s kitchen. Then you go completely still as your heart drops to your ass.

“Emi, oh my god, is—are you—holy fuck,” your brain is scrambled right now, eyes going wide as you stare at the screen.

She tears up and lets out a happy sob that sounds like a laugh, holding up a pregnancy test that so clearly has the word pregnant across the tiny screen.

Your hand flies over your mouth and tears sting your eyes.

“Oh my god!”

“I know, crazy isn’t it?” She laughs, happy tears streaming down her glowing cheeks.

“When did you find out?” You ask.

“Literally like thirty minutes ago. You’re the first person I’ve told,” she pauses. “Let Josh think he was the first, though. This is what he gets when he leaves his wife at home to go out and drink with his brothers and new friends,” she jokes, and you laugh with her.

You hold up your right hand, seriousness in your tone. “Scouts honor.”

“Thank you,” she says, sniffling before wiping her tears away once more.

“I’m so happy for you, Emi. I know how much you want to be a mother.”

“I love you, my dear sister,” she beams at you, and you can’t help but return the same radiant smile.

“I love you too.”

“Sorry to cut the conversation short, but Josh just texted and said he’s coming home in a few and I want to be prepared and all that,” she waves her hand around, and you can’t help but huff a laugh.

“No worries. I’m so excited for you. I love you and I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

She nods and blows you a kiss through the screen, saying bye before she hangs up.

You can’t wipe the grin off your face or the warm feeling in your chest at her news. You try to go back to reading your book, but your mind can’t stop from wandering to your sister.

Your thoughts are torn from your mind just a few short minutes later as you hear the front door handle jiggle, opening up to a completely happy and very drunk Joel.

“There’s my beautiful lady,” he says, stumbling a tiny bit in the entryway. You laugh and stand up to help him, giving Tommy a wave as you see him watching Joel from his truck to make sure he gets in the house okay. He gives you a wave and a smile before peeling off, and you close the door.

You steady Joel and help him walk over to the couch with you, settling him before you sit down next to him.

“I gather your night went well,” you giggle, and he turns to smile at you.

“Your brothers are two of the funniest damn guys. Josh too. This bromance is coming along just nicely.”

You can’t help but laugh at his words, leaning forward to plant your lips on his cheek.

“Oh, speaking of Josh,” you start, taking Joel’s hand into yours before rubbing your thumb across his knuckles. “Emily called me a few minutes before you came home. She told me some wonderful news and said I can share it with you.”

Joel’s gaze meets yours as his eyebrows shoot up. “What is it?”

“They’re having a baby. Emily is pregnant.”

“Oh wow, that is great news. You think they’ll announce it to everyone soon?” He asks, bringing your hand up to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

“I’m sure they will soon.”

It’s quiet for a couple of minutes before you switch positions on the couch and lay down, Joel following suit as he begins to tuck himself between your legs. You’re situating yourself before you look up at him with a small smile, his gaze already intensely on you.

“We should have kids,” Joel says, a smug, sappy smile on his face. His words halt your movements as you eye him wearily.

You quirk your brow at him and tilt your head. “Oh?”

“Don’t ya think they’d be so cute?” He gushes, and Drunk Joel truly is a sight to behold. He’s all soft and cuddly. Practically a human teddy bear.

“Just think about it,” he laughs, “They’d have your beautiful eyes and your smile and your laugh and—”

You put a hand on his chest to stop his words, and he looks at you with so much love in his eyes you think you might burst.

“Slow your roll, cowboy. How about we discuss this when whiskey isn’t in the equation.”

He pouts at you and you have to stifle a laugh. He looks so fucking cute. Your heart blooms at the fact that he wants that type of future with you, and it cracks through the remaining pieces of the walls you’ve put up.

He sighs and lays down on you, nestling his broad body between your thighs and clings to you like a koala. You kiss his temple and run your fingers through his hair, feeling so content and in love that it makes you nearly choke up with tears.

He presses gentle kisses to the skin of your chest as he buries his face there, sighing in content.

“Well if we’re holding off on the discussion of kids, then maybe we can start a few steps before that one,” he says, and his words barely make sense as he half-mumbles into your chest. You catch it anyway.

“And what would the first step be?”

He lifts his head up to meet your gaze, eyeing you knowingly before giving you a soft but sure smile.

“Move in with me.”

“That’s the last of it.” You wipe your brow and exhale an exhausted breath, admiring the pile of boxes that overtook Joel’s living room—well, your living room now, too. It was only two months ago that Joel had drunkenly asked you to move in with him, and when morning time came, you had to make sure he was sure.

He’d reassured you easily that he meant what he said and would love it if you moved in with him and Sarah. Sarah had been on board with it all along, wanting you to stay permanently after the few weeks you’d spent there taking care of Joel and helping with her.

You had some things to figure out with your lease to your apartment, seeing as it wasn’t up until January, but your landlord was a godsend and the sweetest woman, letting you break the contract two months early with your full deposit back.

Joel wraps his arms around you with a prideful grin, kissing your sweaty forehead. You grimace at that, but you’ve come to find out early on in your relationship that this man isn’t easily disgusted by much of anything, really.

You gaze at the tower of boxes and it tugs at your heart strings. Just a couple of months ago, you were crushed by the prospect of having to go back to your apartment when Joel was fully healed, but it turns out he didn’t want you to leave, either. He’d come to your place on nights Sarah was with friends and would spend time with you there after you’d left his house and he got cleared for light duty at work.

Turns out he’s just as clingy to you as you are to him. That’s not to say you both don’t mind spending time apart from each other, but you’d much prefer to be wrapped up in each other or simply enjoying each other’s company.

You’ve already established that allowing yourself to get attached to someone scared the hell out of you, and Joel had sensed it, too. You finally opened up to him one night and laid all of your cards out on the table for him. Confessed that your ex had been emotionally abusive toward you, manipulating you and gaslighting you into thinking you were fucking nuts for wanting to feel something with him and be loved the way you knew you deserved to be, and that you were too much for wanting the bare fucking minimum. That he made you feel like you didn’t matter. That he made you feel unworthy of true love after you finally put the finishing pieces of the puzzle together, seeing the bigger picture, and coming to the conclusion that he was a fucking prick who didn’t deserve you or what you had to offer. The final cherry on top of this monstrosity was catching him fucking his coworker in his bed.

You told Joel, with tears in your eyes, that your heart was completely his and it had taken you a while to get over the hurdles and constant battles in your mind. You told him he’s the one who crumbled all of those walls completely. He’s the one that made you believe in love again, no matter how much it terrified you. You confessed that he was it for you. He’d ruined every single other man for you, ever.

With glossy eyes of his own, he pulled you in tight and held you for what seemed like hours, kissing your temple repeatedly until you completely melted into him. He’d made you a promise that night he’d do his absolute damndest to protect your heart and take care of it, and if he ever saw your ex, he’d beat the shit out of him. You’d never seen Joel so furious, but with the look he had in his eyes, you could tell he really wasn’t joking.

It’s only been a few months, but you feel like you’ve come a long way—mentally, physically, with Joel, your family, and your dearest friend Maria. Without them, you don’t think you would’ve had the strength to overcome your worst fears that involved love. It took you a while to finally love yourself again after you ended it with Christian, and even longer to allow someone else to love you the way your heart desperately desired.

You couldn’t have been more grateful that the person to give you that is this handsome, strong, loving man that stands proudly beside you. Someone who’s unabashed about showing you off. Proud to love you out loud. Isn’t afraid of giving you a big, playful smooch in public and doesn’t hide you from his coworkers or his family or any of his friends.

You’re irrevocably in love with Joel Miller, and you’re damn proud of it. This man has saved you—literally and figuratively.

“I honestly thought you’d have more stuff than this,” Joel says with a teasing undertone. You snort a laugh and roll your eyes, looking at him with amusement.

“My apartment wasn’t that big, Miller.” You pat his chest and move toward the boxes, luckily thinking ahead and separating everything into which room they belonged in. You lift the first one up that’s labeled bedroom in big bold letters, heading toward the stairs. Joel follows suit and picks up another one labeled bathroom, following you up the steps.

You set the box down on the floor and open the drawers that Joel had cleared out for you. You smile at the thought of him being nice enough to clear out some of his space for you. He’d told you it gave him the perfect opportunity to clean up around the house and get rid of stuff he didn’t need or use anyway. He donated most of the stuff he got rid of, saying someone else would get much better use out of the various items.

Joel sets his box down in the master bathroom, setting it on your side of the sink. Your side. Your lips curl up at that, and Joel comes behind you before nearly tackling you onto the bed. You yelp out in surprise, a breathy laugh escaping you as he straddles you and looks down at you from above.

Your hands land on his torso, coercing him down with a mischievous smile and a curl of your finger, silently telling him ‘come here’. He licks his lips and leans down, elbows on either side of your head.

“Fancy meetin’ you here, darlin’.” His Southern charm is something you’ll never tire of, especially if it’s regarded in a playful mood.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to keep a lady waiting?” You quirk a brow at him and grin, fisting the front of his shirt to tug him down so you’re nose-to-nose.

“You’re right, pretty lady. Severely rude. How long until everyone gets here…?” He trails off, kissing the line of your jaw before nibbling at your chin. Your eyes glance at your watch-clad wrist as you lift it up in your line of sight.

“About forty minutes or so,” you breathe out in a sigh. Joel hums against your neck now, licking your pulse point before nipping your skin slightly. You arch your body up into his, neediness rolling off of every limb as you lick your lips in anticipation.

“Enough time for me to show you how not rude I am,” he murmurs. You laugh at that, threading your fingers through his thick locks.

“I think this lady would very much indeed like a proper demonstration.”

Joel’s eyes turn dark and he nearly growls, tugging your tank top up and over your head before unzipping your sports bra. Your breasts bounce as they become free, and Joel chuckles deeply at the way your nipples tighten and become erect with such little teasing and some cold air.

“So fuckin’ pretty. I love these tits, baby.”

He leans down and sucks a nipple into his mouth, swirling his warm tongue around it before tugging on it with his lips. He scrapes his teeth over the sensitive bud and you gasp, hands landing on Joel’s chest as you fist his shirt once more.

Wetness easily pools in your panties as he continues his ministrations, giving the other nipple as much attention as the previous. He eventually licks down your sternum, nipping his way down your torso before grabbing leggings by the waistband and yanking them down.

“Joel, I’m all sweaty,” you whine, not particularly keen on him going down on you when you feel… musty.

“Since when have I given a shit about that, baby? You know I’d eat this pretty pussy for breakfast lunch and dinner, given the chance. Now hush up n’ let me eat you like you deserve.”

And he’s about to dive right in when the doorbell rings. You whine in frustration, rubbing your brow impatiently.

“Guess we don’t have forty minutes,” you bite, and he has to roll his lips into his mouth to refrain from laughing. You roll your eyes at him and gently push him off of you, standing from the bed to adjust your clothes. You make your way out of the bedroom, and Joel can’t help but land a hefty smack to your ass.

You swivel your head to look back at him and give him an unconvincing scowl. He’s sporting an amused expression in return. “Hands off, Miller.”

“Uh uh. We’re in our house now, sugar. Not a chance.”

He wraps his arms around your waist as you both pad over to the front door, opening it to see your brothers standing there.

“Hey look, it’s Dumb and Dumber,” you muse, and you scrunch your nose with a laugh as Andy rolls his eyes. Cole flips you off with a saccharine smile plastered to his lips as you step to the side to let them in.

“Just to let you know, Miller, you’re insane for asking our baby sister to move in with you. Woman’s a goddamn menace,” Andrew starts, setting the six pack he brought onto the kitchen counter.

“That’s rich considering you and Dumber over here decided to harass him about treating me right the day before Emi’s wedding.”

Joel’s lip twitches up at the corner, and your gaze meets his as you both share an amused look. He wraps his arm around your shoulders, kissing your temple as he turns back to your brothers.

“She’s my menace. I love it. I love everything about her,” he says, giving you a chaste kiss as you beam at him.

“Eugh. Get a room,” Andrew says while he scrunches his face up in mock disgust.

You point at him in an accusatory fashion. “‘Y’know, Andy, you won’t be talking so much shit one of these days when the woman of your dreams swoops in and knocks you on your ass.”

“Jeez, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?” Cole asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Both of you did. Cockblockers.” You brush past them to get a bottle opener for the beers, tossing it to Joel when you find it.

“Dude, come on!”

“Fucks sake.”

Your brothers groan in unison as they pick up exactly what you were putting down.

A flush of deep red creeps up Joel’s neck and face as he opens beers and doesn’t meet either Andrew or Cole’s gazes.

“When’s the rest of the Brady Bunch supposed to get here?” You ask, pulling a water bottle out of the fridge for yourself. You uncap it and take a long sip, eyeing your brothers over the frosted plastic.

“Probably twenty minutes or so. We were already in the neighborhood so we thought we’d swing by early.”

You nod and shift your gaze back to the boxes. Your family was nice enough to volunteer to help you unpack and get things all organized, along with Tommy and Maria.

A few hours later and the once-full boxes are broken down and flattened, piling high in the living room. The rest of the stuff you need to unpack is stuff for the bedroom, but you decide to take care of it a little later.

You can’t stop thanking everybody as the day goes on, and in truth, it warms your heart that you have so many people in your corner.

“I’m happy for you, sweetheart,” your mom says as she nudges you with her hip.

“Thanks mama.” You give her a side hug and lean in to her just as Joel catches your eye and winks at you.

Your mom huffs a laugh beside you, looking at you with a knowing smirk. “That man really is your soulmate, baby girl. I’m so glad you’ve found someone who loves you the way he does.”

“You know, I told him about everything that Christian had put me through. That man looked me in the eyes and told me he’d do everything in his power to protect my heart. I completely opened up my heart to him, mom. That’s something I haven’t done in such a long time because I was so fucking scared of me being hurt again being the outcome.” You finish putting away some baking tools in a kitchen drawer before you sigh and shake your head.

“It was so clear to me, especially after his accident. I can’t fathom losing him.” You start to choke up on your words as your eyes get watery. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, trying to regain your composure.

“Oh, honey,” your mom coos, wrapping her arm around you while rubbing your arm lovingly. “I know that time was super difficult for you and you had your reasons as to why you didn’t want to talk about it. It killed me seeing you going through such a tough time. If I could’ve taken your heartache away in a beat I would’ve.”

Hot tears are fully rolling down your cheeks now and you sniffle, giving her a sad smile. “I love you, mom. Thank you for sticking by my side even during the ugliest of it all. I never meant to push you or dad away. Just know that Joel treats me so well and I don’t have to second-guess things with him. I know it’s only been a few months and it may seem like things are moving fast, but I’ve never had stronger feelings than this for someone. He’s it for me, mom.”

“I’m so proud of you for opening your heart up again, sweetheart. You deserve this happiness and love. I can’t wait for the day I get to see you up at the altar with him, and, you know, follow in Emi’s footsteps in having a baby.” She gives you a wink and a kiss on the cheek before wiping a tear from your face before rejoining everyone in the living room.

And it’s at this moment that you feel your heart grow fuller, completely surrounded by love—and, for the first time in years—full contentment and certainty.

The quietness of the usually noisy home the following day was almost unsettling. It’s something that you know will take time to get used to, but luckily you have your Bluetooth speaker and your favorites playlist to keep you company.

You make a checklist of everything you need to do today, and you’re determined to get it done before Joel and Sarah come home. The first thing on the list is to put away the last of your stuff and tidy up the house, which you get done in a couple of hours. It’s around eleven when you finish, so you decide to freshen up for the day and shower before heading downstairs to see what groceries they have in the fridge to make dinner.

As soon as you open the fridge, you spot Joel’s forgotten lunch bag. You roll your lips into your mouth before checking your watch again, figuring he’d probably eat lunch soon. You decide to pay him a visit at the firehouse to drop off his lunch and get all of the flattened boxes that lay in the living room to a recycling facility.

You load up the cardboard in your car and grab Joel’s lunch, starting the twenty minute drive to the firehouse. When you get there, you notice one of the trucks missing from the apparatus bay. Other than that, everything else is in place and the firehouse is completely quiet, except for some faint clinking noises coming from the second level.

Your mind reels for a second, remembering the first time you walked through these doors. It had only been a few months back, but it seems like a lifetime ago. You truly couldn’t fathom how far you’ve come not only personally, but in your relationship with Joel as well.

You remember being so uncertain about all of this. Nervous to take the next step. Push yourself to trust Joel and see where the leap of shattered faith would take you. You never in a million years thought it’d land you here, but you were beyond indebted to the universe that it did.

You climb the stairs to the second floor and see Joel standing with his back to you, washing dishes. You take this time to eye him head-to-toe, admiring his strong build and tall stature as the muscles in his biceps and forearms flexed while he scrubbed away what looked like egg scraps off of a plate. His uniform is fitted to his figure like a glove with the navy blue Austin Fire Department t-shirt tucked into his crisp navy blue slacks with black steel-toed boots to finish off the look. His brown curls are neatly combed, and you just know he’s sporting that one Clark Kent curl in the front that drives you absolutely nuts.

The dull ache in your core resurfaces from yesterday before you were so rudely interrupted from getting your pussy eaten like it was Joel’s last fucking meal. You nearly moan at the thought and shake your head with a brief sigh before you bite your lip.

You let out a low whistle and giggle. “Looking good, Miller,” you say, stepping closer to him now. Joel swivels his head to look over his shoulder and his gaze meets yours with surprise written all over his expression.

“Hey baby,” he says, finishing rinsing off the last of the dishes before turning off the tap and wiping his hands. He makes his way over to you with a grin, planting a sweet kiss on your lips before wrapping his arms around your waist securely. “This is a real nice surprise. Watcha doin’ here?”

You hold up his lunch bag with a smirk. “Someone was in a rush this morning,” you tease. He chuckles and takes his lunch bag from your hand.

“Guess I was. Didn’t even realize it. Woke up later than I intended to, but leavin’ you behind in bed is just so damn hard.” He kisses your forehead and you sigh in contentment.

“Tell me about it. The bed gets so damn cold without my own personal furnace right beside me.” You giggle as he tosses his head back with a hearty laugh, and you admire the crow’s feet around his eyes as they crinkle. Everything about this man is just so damn beautiful.

He fixates his gaze on you once more before sliding his free hand down to your ass to give it a love tap.

“Thank you for bringin’ this to me. Probably woulda just stole Tommy’s lunch if I didn’t have one.”

You huff a laugh before you finally look around, noticing that there’s nobody else in the vicinity.

“Is it just you here?” You ask, and he lets go of you so he can put his lunch bag in the fridge.

He nods. “Mhm. Everyone’s on a call. Left a couple ‘a minutes before you came here.”

“Oh,” you grimace. “I’m sorry you’re not out with them,” you say sympathetically.

“Ain’t a worry, baby. Gives me the chance to tidy the place up and rest my bones. Just glad ‘m not drivin’ you crazy at home anymore.”

“You didn’t drive me crazy,” you laugh. “I’m already there.”

“Funny.”

“I know,” you gleam at him before scrunching your nose, heading toward the steps.

“Leavin’ already?” He falls in step behind you and follows you down the steps.

“Don’t wanna bug you too much while you’re at work.”

He scoffs and shakes his head before stopping you next to the firetruck. “Woman, when you gonna learn that you never bug me?” He’s got a teasing glint in his eyes and you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Guess you’ll just have to teach me that lesson over…” Your eyes trail down to his lips and the corner of your mouth tugs up in the slightest. “And over.”

He moves toward you so your back is flush against the sleek red engine, caging you in as he places both hands next to your head on either side. He’s got that look in his eyes that drives you wild, and the dull ache isn’t so dull anymore. It’s a full-fledged throbbing that has your breath picking up in the slightest as you look at him staring back at you with a fire in his eyes.

“I don’t have a single problem doin’ that, darlin’.”

You swallow harshly as his eyes flit behind you for a brief second before they settle back on your face.

“You ever been inside a firetruck?” He asks, cocking his head to the side. He moves closer to you so his body is nearly flush to yours, give or take two or three centimeters.

Your mouth goes dry and the words you want to say seem to die on your tongue. You opt for shaking your head no. Joel smirks at that, reaching up to pull open the back door to the firetruck. He nods his head upward, and you immediately get what he’s hinting at.

“After you, baby.”

You slowly turn around and climb into the back of the truck, looking around in pure curiosity. There’s two captain’s chairs right next to each other, and Joel takes a seat on the one closest to the open door before he shuts it. The sound makes you jump and you look down at him as he tugs on your hand. He spreads his legs wide and the slacks he’s wearing hug his thighs deliciously. Your mouth nearly waters at how fucking good he looks in his element. He pats one of his thighs and you sit down on it, looking around a bit more before he gently grabs your chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to look at him.

“This is actually really cool,” you say, eyes finally settling on his face once again. He doesn’t say anything for a minute, just staring at you with a lustful look in his eyes. You can practically read his mind from a mile away.

“Joel, no, we’re at your job and—”

His lips on your jaw distract you and you suck in a sharp breath as he licks at your pulse point on your neck. You know this is so wrong on so many levels, but you can’t seem to get yourself to stop and think about the consequences.

“They’re on a call,” he mumbles into your neck. “‘S gonna take ‘em awhile.”

He grabs your hips and swings your other leg over the other side of his lap so you’re straddling him. You can’t deny the slick heat between your legs and the prospect of doing something insanely inappropriate in a firetruck. This was never on your Bingo Card of Life, but when the opportunity arises, you take it.

“We never got to finish what we started yesterday,” Joel states matter-of-factly before his warm hand plunges into the front of your leggings. He raises a brow up at you when he realizes you’re going commando today. His middle finger slides through your slit easily, and you moan at the contact as you loll your head to the side. You grip onto his shoulders and lean down, crashing your lips to his in such fervor that it nearly knocks the wind out of you.

He circles your clit skillfully with the tip of his finger, and you can’t help but grind yourself onto his hand. He’s swallowing every whimper that bubbles up in your throat as you move your hips back and forth, and his free hand grabs your ass before giving it a smack.

“A little rough today, are we?” Your voice is breathy and you let out a small laugh, slowing down your grinding motions.

“Is it too much?” He asks, and you nearly want to melt into a damn puddle at how considerate he is being so concerned like this. You grin down at him and smooth out the worry line in his brow, bending down to give him a lengthy kiss. You peck his lips a couple of times before sliding your hands down his chest, feeling his strong heartbeat beneath your fingertips.

“Not at all. I like it rough.” You smirk at him as you feel his cock straining against his slacks at your words. A low growl rumbles deep in his chest before he closes his eyes for a beat. They snap open again and this time, you’re met with a darkened gaze that’s full of lust and determination.

“Yeah? How rough?” His hand slides out of your leggings and he swipes the tip of his middle finger across your bottom lip, coating it in your arousal. He coaxes your jaw open to slip his finger into your mouth, and you suck his finger willingly. You taste yourself then before you shoot him with a dead serious stare.

“Ruin me.”

He stills at your words for a beat as he sucks in a sharp breath. He grabs the back of your head and crashes his lips to yours, hands now roaming wildly before he’s frantically sliding down your leggings. You’re trying as quickly as possible to blindly unbuckle his belt and unbutton his slacks, and you slide his clothing down his thighs before he presses the head of his cock against your folds.

Before you can even think to sink down onto him, he grabs you and forces you to face downward toward the seats so you’re ass up and completely exposed to him this way.

“Such a perfect fuckin’ ass too, baby.” He grabs both of your arms and holds them behind your back, wrapping one hand around both your wrists to keep you steady. You whimper as he slides his cock through your folds once again before he suddenly slams into you.

Your mouth goes agape and your eyes roll to the back of your skull as the air in your lungs dissipates. You clench hard around him and you feel your mind completely slipping away as you see stars.

Joel presses his free hand down on your lower back and soothes you lovingly. “Breathe, baby, breathe,” he says through clenched teeth, and you can tell this is a lot for him, too.

“Move, Joel,” you choke out, sucking in a big breath of air. He does as you say, moving his hips at a brutal pace so he’s pistoning in and out of you.

You have to concentrate on breathing because it’s damn near impossible. The sound of skin slapping on skin reverberates inside of the firetruck, and your mind was absolutely reeling at how you two were doing something this scandalous.

You feel Joel’s free hand rub your ass for a brief second before he lands a harsh smack on it, and you cry out in both pain and pleasure as your skin stings from the contact.

“You like that?” He asks, somehow pounding into you even harder. Your limbs are like noodles at this point and your mind is so foggy. You try to answer him again but nothing comes out.

“Answer me, sweet girl. You like when I’m rough with you?”

You whine before you finally find your words again. “Fuck! Yes!”

He lands another harsh smack against your ass and you moan loudly before sucking in a breath when you feel his thumb circle your other hole, and he spits on it.

“J-Joel—”

“One of these days I’ll fuck you here, too.” His husky voice is full of promise as he slips his thumb into your asshole, and all you can do is nod as you feel so full like this.

“Yesyeyes oh, god—”

“He ain’t here right now, baby. Just me.” Joel darkly chuckles as he releases your wrists and uses that hand to slither between your legs, furiously and skillfully rubbing at your swollen, aching clit.

You brace your arms on the seats below you as you try to hold yourself up, but your legs are shaking uncontrollably. Joel takes his thumb out of you before sliding his hand around your body to hold you up against his body as his relentless pace begins to get sloppy.

He brings his hand up to your throat and wraps around it, yanking your head back against his shoulder as he looks down at you with a chillingly carnal stare. He almost doesn’t even look like the sweet man you’re in love with, but a darker version that’s consumed his being.

Seeing this side of him makes you even more hot and bothered and your body easily succumbs to his ministrations, so reactive to his touch and words.

He uses his thumb from the hand on the throat to tug at your chin, coaxing your jaw open as a wicked grin curls onto his lips before he spits into your mouth.

The heat that was once a low simmer in your belly is now a fire roaring throughout the veins in your body, igniting you and consuming you as a whole. You swallow before he leans down to kiss you hungrily, and that’s what does it for you.

You surge over the edge, orgasm crashing over you like waves on a shore. Joel swallows all of your cries and pleads against his lips, groaning at how you’re pulsing around him as you ride through your undoing. He squeezes the sides of your neck as he comes undone, arm moving down to wrap around your waist as his whole body stills.

You feel his hot spend fill you up with each last harsh thrust he gives you before he stills completely. He kisses your shoulder lovingly before pulling out, groaning into your sweater as he does so. You feel his spend leak down the apex of your thighs, and Joel collects some on his finger as he swipes it through your folds.

You shiver at his overstimulating touch, looking back at him as he smirks and brings his finger toward your mouth. You eagerly open it for him, moaning around his finger as you get a taste of the both of you.

“You know, for someone who’s such a sweetheart, you really are a lil’ freaky. Just how I like it,” Joel says with a chest-rumbling laugh. You roll your eyes at him before he kisses your temple and helps you pull up your leggings before he tucks himself back into his boxers and fixes his uniform to look somewhat presentable again, opening the door to get out.

“You’re one to talk, Miller,” you say, grabbing his hand as he helps you hop down out of the firetruck.

“I’m an angel. Completely innocent. No idea what you’re insinuatin’, pretty lady.” He wiggles his eyebrows as you roll your eyes at him once more before laughing.

“Sure, and I’ve got telekinesis.”

He opens his mouth to retort, but is cut off by the sound of the other fire engine beginning to back up into the empty spot of the bay.

Everyone starts to unload one-by-one, waving hi to you as they see you and Joel standing there. You’re hoping to god you don’t have a ‘we-just-fucked-in-the-back-of-the-firetruck’ look slapped across your forehead. Luckily, nobody seems to notice, and if they do, they don’t say anything.

Until Tommy rounds the corner of the smaller truck. He looks at you both and pauses, taking in your appearances. Your face burns and you know if you look down at the ground it’ll give you both away, but anything is better than being under the younger Miller’s scrutinizing stare.

Everyone’s gone upstairs at this point except for you three, and the sudden howl of laughter Tommy lets out makes you jump. He’s bent over with his hands clutching his knees, face and neck turning red with how hard he’s laughing. He’s got tears in his eyes that he wipes away with a knuckle, and it’s a couple of minutes before he finally calms down and catches his breath again.

He straightens out and looks between the two of you again, lips wobbling as if he’s trying to hold back more laughter.

“Oh for fucks sake, out with it.” Joel rolls his eyes at his brother as he wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you back so you stumble into his solid body.

“You two are unbelievable. You’re not that slick and you know, you both have guilty written across your foreheads. I know what you did, you nasties.”

“Might I remind you about that time I caught you and Maria—”

“Hey hey hey, this ain’t about me and my girl, this is about you two.” Tommy chuckles as he holds his hands up in surrender.

“Don’t y’all get enough time at home?” Tommy teases, and you bury your face into Joel’s chest with a groan.

“Shut up Tommy,” you say.

“No actually, because you’re always there,” Joel retorts, which causes Tommy to laugh again.

“Oh please, like that’s stopped y’all before.”

“Not another word about it, brother,” Joel warns, and Tommy smirks at him.

“Fine. But ya might wanna take care of that stain on your pants.”

Joel’s eyes snap down to his slacks the same time yours do, but you don’t see anything.

Fucking Tommy.

“Bastard,” Joel mumbles.

You decide to get in on the teasing. You pat Joel’s chest and sigh, shaking your head. “Guess that means no more sex for us, cowboy.”

You give him a loving kiss on the cheek before you pry yourself out of Joel’s grip and turn to walk out of the firehouse, fighting your giggles as you leave a dumbfounded Joel who calls out ‘you’re not serious, are you?’, and a, yet again, doubled over Tommy with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard behind you.

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#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfic #joel fic #joel miller au #firefighter!joel miller #joel miller fluff #joel miller series #pedro pascal characters #tlou au

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tinylilacbun · 2 months ago

Note

This request is based on season 4

How about the boat scene with Rafe being tied up but him being readers CG, how would that go down with reader and the Pogues /nf

You watch as Sarah prepares a tray with food and water for Rafe, standing beside her and fiddling with your fingers.

She knows what you're thinking and smiles at you, sliding the tray towards you. "Why don't you go and give it to him this time?"

You bite your lip, hesitating for a moment but nod your head yes, sending her a small smile before taking the tray in your hands.

You're carefully balancing the tray as you make your way to the tiny bathroom Rafe is tied up in.

First you were mad at JJ for punching him so hard to knock him out but after John b explained to you that the blonde was just overall stressed and overreacting you decided not to press on it any further, knowing that JJ has been through hell the last days.

As you reach the bathroom you slowly push the door open, seeing Rafe sitting on the ground in a manspread leaning against the wall.

He turns his head at the sound of the door creaking, a scowl on his face as he expects to see his sister again but it fades when he realizes it's you.

You crouch down and place the tray on the ground close to him, then sit down crisscross fumbling with the edge of your summer dress that Rafe bought you, not knowing what to say at the moment.

"Y'know, I can't really eat like this." He says lifting his bound hands a bit even though he could eat just fine the last times, he just wants to use the fact you're probably little and are molded into being his good girl to make you untie him. "C'mon, I won't tell them."

You feel torn between your loyalty to your daddy and to your friends, or family to be exact. The pogues have been a part of your life longer than Rafe but him on the other hand is the person you chose to be your caregiver, so you're conflicted.

"I can't..." You mumble, looking down at your lap, not wanting to meet his probably disappointed gaze. "Da others told me not to."

Rafe clenches his jaw, adjusting his position in the cramped space with a groan. "And I'm telling you to untie me, kid."

You shake your head guiltily. "M'sorry, daddy..."

"It's okay, I didn't expect anything else." He scoffs, using his leg to slide the tray closer to him. "You can go. I'm not someone who needs to be fed."

Your chest feels tight at the remark, feeling tears building up in your eyes at his tone, only used to him using the soft one while you're little but you can't really blame him.

Reaching into the small pocket you have on your dress you pull out some chocolate, laying it on his tray beside the cup of water. "I told 'em dat you not gonna be mean bu' they didn' listen..."

Rafe can't help but sigh, now feeling like an asshole for the way he's treating you right now and that he tried to make you feel bad that he's tied up, it's not like he didn't deserve it after all the things he's done.

He's a person who needs to be in control, and being tied up and unable to have the upper hand in this situation is triggering him to no end, that if something should happen he won't be able to do anything.

"Thanks...baby." He gives you a faint smile, glancing at the already open chocolate package. "Someone already had a little taste, huh?"

You giggle quietly but shuffle closer to him, careful to not spill anything that's on the tray, leaning your head against his shoulder you grab the chocolate.

Breaking off a piece you hold it up to him and he gratefully takes the piece into his mouth. "Where did you even get that?"

"Sarah sneaked it into ma pocket." You whisper into his ear and he nods, rolling his eyes jokingly.

"Should've figured that." He chuckles, his cheek pressed against the top of your head, feeling content to have you with him right now.

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@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu

For Rafe:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @erikasurfer

#little!reader #daddy!rafe drabble #age regression

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yourcutelittlegayfriend · 1 month ago

Text

✧✦✧ Chapter 1 ✧✦✧

Dear Mother, Goodbye

Yandere Platonic Bat Family x Neglected Regressing GN Reader

Warning this part contains : Death, Poverty, Bad English (So fckn bad), death?, saying bye bye to mommy, short chapt.

Note: MC will be gender neutral and no mention of specific physical traits except for general parts of the body, No mention of MC's name only with the queue of -...- will it be mentioned

MASTERLIST Pages ↻ PROLOUGE 2....➣

NOW PLAYING ↻◁ ||▷↺ Remember Me - dv4d (Arcane) ılıılıılılılıılıılı

✧✦✧✦✧

As the darkness consumes me, I let the bitting cold spread through out my body, closing my eyes and settle to the back of my mind where the thoughts and whispers of quiet voices echo before drowing me down to it's depths.

I remember

I remember how everything was simple, so nice, so kind and.....

warm.

Oh so warm, she was warm, her voice, her smell, her touch and her love? it was the warmest thing I have ever felt and yet it's the thing I can never have, not anymore-

As I opened my eyes to greet death instead a blinding light made be flinch before blinking and see a light down the tunnel of the abyss flickering then grew size and engulfed me.

Gasping I woke and see myself back to where everything I ever wanted be again, looking down I see my small chubby fingers as I curl it around my palms over before looking up and catch a sight of my blurry younger self sitting on the floor infront of our old box TV.

Looking around I saw glimpse of my old home-

a broken window that was hit by a brick from one of the drunk neighbors as I remember her turning red as she almost ripped the lock off the window to pry it open and hear her curse like a true sailor before turning around and hear me laughing for some reason -her calling me a weird baby before blowing raspberries on my cheeks- then fixing it by using packing tapes.

a few planters on the corners from when she met a nice botanist lady and talk her into having greens around the house since it was to create a nice environment for a baby especially in gotham.

And a few wallpers with newspapers taped to cover rips, tears or holes but she won't use the ones where 'he's' in front page which was almost always but-

It was a busted down and dirty home that held the most beautiful and warmest memories that I'm slowly forgeting as I am losing myself more bit by bit.

"......"

A hum and a voice broke me out of my thoughts as I turn my head to see a figure working around the kitchen behind the couch.

My breath hitch as I take a deep breath as I push myself up and stood up on my shaking legs before taking a step and another till I reach the corner of the counter as I hear her humming closing in, peaking my head I stare at the back of her form as she continues to stir a pot of stew that I grew to forget.

"........ma?". I whisper and I rounded the corner of the counter, watching with baited breath as she stops by the cue of my tiny voice and raise her head.

I watch and move closely as she turns her head but with my younger and lower height the light shines from the window on her head obscuring her face to my view, her face? what does her face look like? why can't I remember her face? What does she looks like? Why do I keep forgetting?! WHY DID I FORGET?! THAT'S YOUR MOTHER! WHAT KIND OF-?!

".....? Oh! Sweetie Oh my God! Come here! Mama's here!". Her voice broke pass the voices as I feel her hand cupping the back of my head as her arms wrap around me and pull me in.

Eyes wide open I stare at the back of her again but with my head on the crook her neck and her fingers run through my hair and scalp lulling me and my thoughts to calm down.

"Mama...mama...mama". I tried to talk to her but only one words comes out making me frustrated and angry as I grip the back of her shirt while I feel her body rumble from her humming and soft hushing.

"It's okay baby, Mama's here you're okay, you're okay". She whispers and lay a kiss on the side of my head as she moves to carry up and sway to lull me to sleep.

'Mama.....I miss you....I miss everything about you....I miss your touch, your smell, your love.........I don't wanna forget you please......'

As her humming echo around the room hitting the corners and wall, so was the darkness creeping in and wrap around my head, each sway of her body stirs my eyes to close and each melody made my heartbeat match to the tone.

"It's okay my little love Mama's right here, I'll stay waiting till you're ready but for now rest". Her voice speaks to me as my eyes finally closed and drift me back to the abyss.

"I love you Ma, goodbye".

I say my last farewell one last time before opening up to the world and catch my eyes glaring at the rear-view mirror, two pools swirling around filled up by exhaustion and pain hiding underneath a never ending dark pits of anger and malice.

"Oh Dear Mother, we'll be together soon"

✧✦✧✦✧

Oh god, my shayla! my shayla!

had to rush this cuz it came to me after having a tense talk and crying session with my own ma after dinner, jesus that woman- love her but goddamn she makes me cry too much (in a loving way like telling me she's happy for me and stuff)

(And also a bit of credit to @acid-ixx new update the ch.5 specifically I hope it's fine I just read yours before this happened and kind of borrowed some inspo soooo heh-)

Taglist (still open) later cuz I'm stuffed with Mango Graham float and other Christmas food.

#No More Chances #batfam x reader #yandere batfam x reader #x reader #yandere #yandere batfamily x reader #Yandere Platonic family #yandere batboys #yandere batman x reader #yandere platonic x reader #yandere batfam #Spotify

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edenesth · 8 months ago

Text

TWTHH Spinoff: Love to Hate You [2]

Pairing: royal secretary!San x female scholar!reader

AU: historical au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 10.7k 🤡

Summary: San prided himself on his knack for building easy connections with women, viewing himself as a trusted ally for the opposite gender. Thanks to his deep bonds with his mother and sister, he possessed keen insights into the female mindset. Never did he imagine facing the ire of a woman, until he encountered a resolute female scholar with a strong dislike towards men.

A/N: I'd recommend listening to Laufey's Valentine while reading this, the song is quite perfect for this spinoff.

Part 1 | Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist

"Now, tell me, why were you crying?" you inquired, halting at the doorway of your house, careful to shield your mother from the conversation. You understood that she would only blame herself if she knew he was upset, despite none of it being her fault. Deep down, you knew she carried the burden of not being able to protect her children, always feeling like an inadequate mother.

Siwoo shook his head, "It's nothing, noona. I just... I was just overwhelmed with all the schoolwork on my first day. But don't worry about me, I feel much better after letting it all out," he reassured, attempting to alleviate your concerns. Yet, you couldn't fully accept his explanation. While a part of you ached to think he might have been bullied by his classmates, as you had feared, another part of you swelled with pride at his resilience.

That's my boy.

"Is that so? Well, come on then, dinner might be ready," you responded, and he brightened at the mention of food. "Dinner sounds good, I'm starving! Mother, we're home!" he called out excitedly, darting into your modest abode almost immediately.

"How was school, Siwoo?" your mother asked, her fingers smoothing down his unruly hair as he dug into his meal with gusto. Siwoo grinned and nodded. "It was okay! Master Lee looked after me really well, just like noona said he would!" Your mother smiled warmly and wiped a stray bit of food from his cheek. "That's good to hear."

You couldn't help but smile at their exchange, though you sensed Siwoo's words were meant to reassure your mother more than convey his true feelings. While Master Lee might have looked after him in their presence, you knew all too well the dynamics of school life and the possibility of bullying when no adults were around. Unfortunately, he would have to learn to navigate those challenges, just as you had.

Finishing your meal, you tousled your brother's hair. "So, what did that man from earlier say to you?" Your mother raised a curious eyebrow. "Man? What man?" Siwoo perked up. "Oh, that kind hyung-nim! He was just making sure I was okay."

You scoffed. "Kind? You don't even know him. People can seem nice but have hidden motives. Don't trust too easily, or he might want something from you." Turning to your mother, you elaborated, "It's His Majesty's royal secretary. We had an unpleasant encounter at the palace. I had hoped never to see him again, but somehow he was at Siwoo's school when I went to pick him up. How many coincidences can there be? I'm certain he's up to something. So, you," you directed a stern look at your brother. "Don't entertain him if he shows up again, okay?"

Siwoo nodded reluctantly, his expression turning sullen. Your mother shook her head. "Or perhaps he's genuinely nice...? He's an important figure, after all. You shouldn't make an enemy out of him, dear. I worry for you." You offered her a reassuring smile. "I'll handle it, mother. Don't worry about me."

Later that night, as you lay in bed, the soft breathing of your brother beside you with a comforting rhythm, you couldn't help but feel a pang of bittersweet emotion. Siwoo, once the tiny bundle you cradled in your arms, had grown so quickly before your eyes. Memories of his infancy flooded your mind, the moments when you'd rocked him to sleep and comforted his tears.

Now, here he was, trying to shield his own emotions from you, not wanting to burden you with his struggles. Your heart swelled with both pride and a tinge of sadness as you gently stroked his head, leaning in to plant a tender kiss on his forehead. How you wished he could remain your precious little brother forever, sheltered from life's harsh realities.

Yet, another part of you longed for him to mature, to become the pillar of strength this family needed. You yearned for the day when he would stand beside you as a protector, capable of shouldering the burdens that weighed heavily on your shoulders.

"Sweet dreams, little one," you whispered softly, your voice barely a whisper in the darkness. With a sigh, you closed your eyes, letting the tranquillity of the night envelop you as you drifted into slumber, your dreams filled with hopes for the future.

The next day unfolded much like the one before, with the familiar routine of dropping Siwoo off at school. Kneeling beside him, you tenderly adjusted his hanbok and smoothed down his hair, your actions a comforting ritual between siblings.

"Well, I have no new advice for you today, except to stay strong and not let the words of others affect you. Remember, they're just words, and you can choose not to let them bother you," you imparted, noticing the flicker of surprise in his eyes, as if he had been caught keeping secrets from you. With a warm smile, you gently pinched his cheeks to alleviate any worries he might have.

"Now, go on and get in there. And no causing trouble!" you teased, prompting a playful protest from Siwoo as he swatted your hands away and stuck out his tongue. "Bye, noona! See you later!" he called out cheerfully as he headed off to join his classmates.

As you watched him go, a soft smile lingered on your lips, filled with both pride and a touch of wistfulness.

He'll be fine; we've been over this.

You proceeded towards your educational institution to resume your own studies, putting aside worries about your brother for the moment. As you arrived at the entrance, you took a deep breath to ready yourself before entering, clutching your books tightly to your chest.

"Well, well, look who decided to grace us with her presence. Miss Smarty Pants finally showed up. Heard she even resorted to borrowing books from the royal library," Namgil, the scholar with the wealthiest father and your longtime tormentor, remarked as he annoyingly strolled alongside you, trailed by his group of cronies. One of them chimed in with a smirk, "Poor thing can't even afford her own books. Maybe if she catches the eye of some high-ranking officials in the palace, she won't need to study so hard at all."

Maintaining a neutral expression, you continued walking towards the foyer, where you could begin your studies undisturbed with the presence of teachers. Despite the taunting remarks being a regular occurrence during your journey from the outside to the inside of the institution, you had grown accustomed to them.

Reaching the foyer, you pivoted to face the group with a wide, sarcastic grin. "Well, boys, have you had your fill? If we're done wasting precious time trying to bring others down to boost our own fragile egos, maybe we should focus on our studies. After all, if we want to avoid squandering dear old daddy's money, we'll need to graduate. Time's ticking, gentlemen. Are we going to remain stuck in this childish behaviour forever?"

The satisfaction was palpable as you flashed a victorious smile and turned to stride into the foyer, leaving them no room for a rebuttal as a teacher emerged to greet the group. They hastily composed themselves, offering respectful bows and pretending as though nothing had happened.

Fools, you thought to yourself. This was precisely why you harboured such disdain for men. They were simplistic creatures, falling into one of two categories. The first, like Namgil and his cronies, were openly mean-spirited, condescending, and misogynistic. The second, exemplified by Royal Secretary Choi, was the cunning, duplicitous types who sought to earn your trust through false kindness before exploiting you. In the end, they were all cut from the same cloth.

At the end of the session, following a quiz intended to assess everyone's preparedness for the final examination, you unsurprisingly emerged as the top scorer once again. The teacher's announcement was met with the usual mixture of reactions, but your attention was drawn to his subsequent remarks.

"Miss Moon, once again, you've secured the top spot. Namgil, while second place may seem like an achievement, you should feel nothing but shame. All of you should. It's unacceptable to be outperformed by a woman. Study harder; I expect to see a different outcome in the next quiz."

You shook your head in disbelief at the teacher's words, seething inwardly at his ingrained bias. The implication that a woman should not surpass men in intellect spoke volumes about his archaic mentality. You were tired of being spoken about as if you weren't in the room, tired of the inherent sexism that permeated every aspect of your academic life. Graduation couldn't come soon enough; you were determined to prove these narrow-minded individuals wrong.

I'll show you morons.

"Oh boy, I know that look," Haneul remarked, shaking her head with a disapproving sigh as San emerged from his room the next day. Despite the dark circles under his eyes, his usual enthusiasm and determination shone through. She suspected her discouraging words from the previous evening had backfired, knowing her brother was just an optimistic idiot like that.

He scoffed, "What do you know? Go home already, noona. Your husband might start to worry if you keep visiting so often."

With a smirk, she lightly whacked him on the head. "I'm leaving today, don't you worry. But don't say I didn't warn you when whatever silly plan you might have ends up falling through. You men just love learning things the hard way, don't you? Let her be, Sannie."

"Yeah, yeah. Safe travels. I'll catch you later."

Haneul rolled her eyes in defeat. "Fine, fine. Send me away like I'm a nuisance. You should learn something from little Siwoo."

Turning back with a sarcastic grin, the royal secretary teased, "If you say so... love you, noona!" and blew her exaggerated kisses, earning a mockingly disgusted reaction. "Yuck! Save that for your future wife, gross!" she exclaimed, pretending to gag.

San strode through the palace corridors with newfound determination, his mind buzzing with plans and possibilities. He greeted the palace staff with a bright smile and a confident demeanour, earning curious glances from those he passed.

As he approached the royal study, he couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement. Today was the day he would begin executing his plan, the day he would show Scholar Moon that he was different from the rest, that he was sincere in his intentions.

Entering the king's presence, San found himself greeted with the warm smile of His Majesty. The elderly man's eyes twinkled with amusement as he observed his secretary's energy.

"You seem quite cheerful today, Royal Secretary Choi. Anything exciting happening in your life?" the king inquired with a chuckle as their daily meeting concluded.

San's grin widened, his heart racing with anticipation. "I suppose so, Your Majesty. I won't say more until I see positive results," he replied cryptically, unknowingly leaving the king to interpret his words as he wished. Little did the fool know, his vague response led His Majesty to believe he was referring to romantic pursuits.

The king's face lit up. "Oh, I can't wait to hear the good news. Best of luck, my boy. That's all for today. Carry on with your tasks," he said with a playful wink, dismissing San with a clap of his hands.

Secretary Choi bowed deeply, feeling grateful. "Thank you, Your Majesty!" he exclaimed before leaving the royal study, his mind already buzzing with plans to win over the female scholar.

He made his way through the library, exchanging nods with a few scholars absorbed in their studies. As he searched the aisles, hope waned with each passing moment. Nearly ready to give up, he reluctantly admitted to himself that you might not be there today. With a resigned sigh, he turned to leave.

But as he moved to exit, a flash of movement caught his eye. Turning back, he was stunned to see you tucked away in a quiet corner, fast asleep amidst a pile of borrowed books. A wave of tenderness washed over him at the sight of your peaceful form, and he approached you with silent steps, not wanting to disturb your rest.

He couldn't resist the urge to approach and observe you, struck by how serene and angelic you appeared in your slumber, a stark contrast to your usual tough and guarded demeanour. Seeing the sunlight streaming in from the nearby window and casting a glare on your face, he settled into the seat opposite you. With a gentle touch, he lifted his hand to shield you from the brightness, intent on preserving your peaceful rest.

Looking down at you like this, perhaps it was his innate sense of chivalry, but it stirred an intense urge to protect you, to help shoulder some of the burdens you must be carrying on those delicate shoulders of yours. He couldn't shake the feeling of admiration mingled with empathy as he watched you, lost in tranquil slumber amidst the chaos of the world around you. With a soft sigh, he longed to offer you more than just protection from the sun's glare, yearning to provide solace and support in any way possible.

As he watched you stir, letting out a small groan before readjusting your head and settling back into sleep, he felt a slight panic. However, his worry melted away when he realised you were merely shifting in your slumber. A soft sigh escaped him, accompanied by a gentle smile and a flutter in his heart at how endearing you looked.

Gosh, she looks adorable.

Resting his head on his palm, he continued to observe, noting the subtle signs of exhaustion etched across your beautiful face. Unlike other girls or women who likely had access to luxurious skincare products or ample rest to maintain their beauty, it was evident that any resources you had were dedicated to supporting your family and pursuing your studies. His gaze drifted to your hands, noticing the dry skin, blunt nails and paper cuts, evidence of both physical labour and tireless studying.

Gazing at you, his mind wandered to the challenges and hardships you must have faced throughout your childhood, shaping you into the resilient and guarded person you are today. He pondered on the beliefs you held about men, likely influenced by your past experiences. Working in the palace, San was all too familiar with the despicable behaviour of some men, having witnessed their deceit and manipulation firsthand. He understood, perhaps more than most, your strong aversion and distrust of men.

Yet, in his heart, he believed that you hadn't met men like him and his friends—men of integrity and genuine kindness. Determined to prove to you that good men existed, he resolved to show you through his actions. He was determined to be the exception, to demonstrate that not all men were as duplicitous as those you had encountered before. And in that moment, as he watched over you, he silently vowed to be the beacon of goodness and sincerity that you deserved.

Lost in his contemplations, he was jolted back to reality when he felt your hand push his away. Startled, he blinked, realising that the sun he had been shielding you from was now obscured by clouds. Your voice, sharp and incredulous, pierced through his thoughts.

"What in the world do you think you're doing, Royal Secretary Choi?" you demanded, your tone laced with annoyance and curiosity.

Flustered and caught off guard by your abrupt interruption, San quickly cleared his throat and straightened in his seat, feeling the weight of your scrutiny upon him. He could only imagine how his actions must have appeared from your perspective: waking up to find an uninvited man seated across from you, hand raised in an attempt to shield you from the absent sun.

"I-I can explain," he stammered, scrambling to find the right words to justify his actions. "I was just trying to—"

But before he could finish his sentence, you cut him off with a sarcastic smile, your words dripping with disdain.

"Let me guess," you said, your tone biting. "You just wanted to help? I thought I made myself very clear yesterday, but it seems I might not have. In case you missed the point, I'll repeat it again: I don't need your help. Thank you very much."

With that, you gathered all the books in your arms and swiftly exited, leaving him feeling chastised and uncertain of how to proceed.

As he sat frozen in his seat, watching your retreating figure, the royal secretary couldn't help but admire your firm resolve. Instead of feeling discouraged by your rejection, he found himself respecting you even more for it. Your unwavering stance showed him that you weren't one to let someone into your life easily, and in a world where men could be deceitful and manipulative, that was a reassuring trait. He couldn't help but feel a surge of admiration for you, even as he remained seated in the library, contemplating his next move.

Making your way out of the palace, your heart still raced from the encounter in the library as you clutched the stack of borrowed books close to your chest. Unbeknownst to Secretary Choi, you had been awake for some time, waiting to see what he would do, ready to catch him red-handed if he attempted anything untoward.

To your unpleasant surprise, you found that the glaring sun that had once been on your face was gone. Peeking through your lashes, you observed San going to great lengths to shield you from the brightness, even though he must have assumed you were still asleep. It was a small gesture, but one that spoke volumes about his character.

Even with his apparent kindness, you couldn't bring yourself to believe that he had done it without any ulterior motives. There had to be something he wanted from you; you were sure of it. You refused to let your guard down, you remained determined to stay wary of his intentions.

Despite your hopes that San would quit his efforts after the incident in the library, he proved to be annoyingly persistent. However, to your surprise, he no longer offered unsolicited help, seemingly aware that you had not asked for it. Instead, he chose a different approach to get closer to you.

Every day as you entered the palace, he greeted you with a bright smile and a friendly "good morning." You found his amiable demeanour irritating because it made it challenging for you to be rude to him when he was simply being a nice and sociable person. With no choice but to reciprocate his greetings, you returned them with a forced smile of your own, not wanting to appear impolite in front of other palace staff.

Today was no different, much to your dismay. Despite your multiple attempts to arrive either earlier or later than your usual time, he always seemed to be there. Deep down, you wanted to bluntly ask him if he had nothing better to do. Shouldn't a royal secretary be busy? Why was he always lingering around?

Approaching the entrance and spotting him, you couldn't help but slap a hand on your forehead in frustration. You tried to turn away, but he called out to you before you could make your escape.

"Scholar Moon! I see you're here early today. Good morning!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

You cursed under your breath and reluctantly turned back to feign a smile, bowing respectfully. "Indeed, I am... Good morning, Royal Secretary Choi," you replied through gritted teeth.

He beamed at you and gestured for you to join him. "Come, let us head in together!"

Letting out a sigh of disbelief, you put on your best fake smile and complied, knowing it wouldn't be in your best interest to be rude to someone of such high importance in front of other people. Damn it, you couldn't wait for the day to be over already.

Walking beside him, you sought a moment of tranquillity, but as expected, he initiated an unwanted conversation like always.

"How's Siwoo adjusting to school?" he asked, his tone overly chipper.

Suppressing the urge to roll your eyes, you briefly squeezed them shut before replying, "He's doing well. Thank you for asking."

His smile widened at your response. "That's great! I just hope he's feeling better than the last time I saw him. Poor boy was so upset."

You sighed, cutting him off before he could continue. "Yes, but he'll live—"

Before you could finish, a group of rushing court ladies surged around the corner. "Out of the way! Concubine Eom Heebin is giving birth!" Amidst the commotion, you were shoved aside, but a firm pair of arms caught you, guiding you to safety—San's arms.

You landed against his chest with a huff, and he peered down at you with wide eyes. "Careful there, watch your step! You alright?" His words lacked their usual formality, driven purely by instinct.

San gulped audibly, his gaze lingering on your features as if trying to memorise every detail. He marvelled at how beautiful you looked up close, relishing the sensation of holding you tightly against him. It felt strangely satisfying to shield you from danger, to have you vulnerable in his arms. There was an inexplicable desire within him to be the only one who knew how it felt to hold you like this.

Meanwhile, you felt a conflicting array of emotions swirling within you as you found yourself in his embrace. Despite your best efforts to maintain your dislike for him, you couldn't deny the unexpected sense of safety and comfort you felt in his arms. It unsettled you, this lack of disgust, and you hated how nice it felt, how it threatened to unravel the walls you had carefully constructed around your heart.

Realising your proximity, you blinked rapidly and pushed yourself away. "Y-yes, I'm fine. Thank you..." For once, you meant it.

Days passed, and you found yourself in a state of inner conflict whenever you were around him. Previously, you had to force yourself to maintain politeness and hide your disdain for him, but now, it was becoming increasingly difficult to be unpleasant.

You despised this newfound feeling of guilt he stirred within you, as if he was silently reproaching you for your past behaviour. Moreover, he continued to prove himself to be just as kind as everyone claimed, further complicating your emotions.

Hate brewed within you—not for the royal secretary as a person, but for the way he was challenging your beliefs about all men being alike. He made you start to doubt the certainties you once held dear, and you resented him for it. Most of all, you detested how he was making it difficult for you to maintain your animosity towards him.

Regardless of the swirling new emotions within you, one thing remained constant: your determination to avoid him at all costs. You were sick and tired of the conflicting feelings he stirred within you, and you knew that indulging in them would only serve as a distraction from your studies.

You needed to maintain your focus and drive, especially now when your responsibilities weighed heavily on your shoulders. The last thing you needed was to be sidetracked by unnecessary emotions brought about by a man, of all things.

But of course, life seemed determined to defy your efforts. Despite your best attempts to avoid him, it felt like he was everywhere you turned. With each passing day, you found yourself encountering him more frequently, almost as if he were purposely crossing your path.

The realisation was hard to swallow: you were seeing him more often than your own mother and younger brother combined. It was infuriating to admit, but no matter how hard you tried to evade him, he seemed to find a way to appear wherever you were.

As you finished up your studies and prepared to leave the palace, a sense of relief washed over you. Today had been the first in what felt like an eternity without a sighting of Royal Secretary Choi. Hope flickered in your heart as you packed up your belongings, eager to leave the palace behind and reunite with your little brother.

But just as you approached the main entrance, the sky darkened ominously. Thunder rumbled, and lightning streaked across the sky before a torrential downpour engulfed the area. "No, no, no, not now! Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" you muttered under your breath, feeling frustration bubbling up inside you.

With no umbrella to shield you from the rain, you hurried to seek refuge under the closest shelter you could find: the awning of a nearby building. The sudden change in weather dashed your hopes of a smooth departure, leaving you stranded and drenched.

The thought of Siwoo waiting for you added to your unease. You cursed your lack of preparation, knowing that he would now have to endure more time with his bullies. It was another setback in a day that had promised to be free of Choi San's presence.

Yep, I'm convinced god hates me.

While you sheltered under the awning, your gaze remained fixed on the entrance, torn between the desire to run out into the rain to your brother and the realisation that falling sick was not an option. Too many people depended on you—your mother, your brother, and all the women in need of your assistance. You couldn't afford to be unwell, not with so many responsibilities resting on your shoulders.

Lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice a figure approaching from behind until the raindrops abruptly ceased falling around you. Looking up, you were met with the sight of an umbrella being held over your head. Startled, you turned to see San standing beside you, concern etched on his features.

"Are you alright, my lady? Please allow me to escort you to your destination," he said, his voice gentle and sincere.

The royal secretary's surprise was evident when he realised it was you, causing him to stumble over his words in an attempt to explain himself. "O-oh! It's you, Scholar Moon! I swear I didn't realise it was you, I thought you were a palace staff or someone else! I mean, I wasn't trying to offer help when you didn't want it, or maybe I was..."

He paused, then continued, "But I promise, I'm not making any assumptions! I can leave if you want me to... I'll leave the umbrella with you, of course, because obviously little Siwoo is waiting for you. Sorry, I don't mean to ramble... I just— here you go." Without waiting for your response, he thrust the umbrella into your hand and hurried off into the rain, leaving you standing frozen in bewilderment, trying to comprehend the unexpected encounter.

As you stood there, still holding the umbrella he had left behind, you couldn't shake off the words he had said. They lingered in your mind, his voice echoing gently, making you question your own feelings. For the first time, you understood why women might find him charming. Despite your resolve to dislike him, you couldn't deny his physical attractiveness and his gentlemanly nature.

But as you thought about it further, a new emotion crept in—an unsettling realisation that his kindness wasn't reserved for you alone. He would be just as sincere and helpful to anyone in need. Suddenly, a twinge of jealousy stirred within you. Why did it bother you that he treated others with kindness? Why did you feel upset that you weren't the only one receiving his attention? What was wrong with you?

Confusion clouded your thoughts as you grappled with these unfamiliar feelings. You couldn't understand why it mattered to you whether he was nice to everyone or not. But the fact that it did matter left you feeling even more bewildered. What were these emotions, and why the hell were they stirring within you now?

Lord, I must be out of my damn mind.

In the days that followed, your annoyance with San returned, but this time it was for a new reason—one you stubbornly refused to acknowledge. Despite your efforts to keep your distance and maintain your walls around him, you found it increasingly difficult to do so. His presence seemed to linger in your mind, his gentle demeanour and persistent kindness chipping away at your defences.

Meanwhile, the royal secretary remained hopeful after his recent encounters with you. He noticed the subtle changes in your behaviour—the once sarcastic smiles and curt words slowly giving way to genuine attempts to interact with him. He knew your pride was likely the barrier keeping you from fully opening up to him, but he was determined to break through it.

Perhaps it was the sense of accomplishment he felt, but he found himself increasingly consumed by thoughts of you and the challenge of breaking down your barriers to earn your trust. Each day, he eagerly anticipated going to work, knowing he might catch a glimpse of your beautiful face. Lately, he noticed it revealing more than just anger and disdain—it showed hints of other emotions too. He longed to witness them all, to be the first and perhaps the only one to see them. He felt a swell of pride, both in himself and in your progress, even if you were unaware of it.

"You like her, don't you?" San's gaze snapped up to meet his mother's, his chewing momentarily halted as he raised a questioning brow. "What are you talking about, eomma?"

She grinned, gesturing towards the additional lunch box he had instructed the servants to prepare for work that day. "Oh, you mean Scholar Moon? I mean, yeah, I guess I do...? I like everyone," he responded with a cheerful beam. However, her expression shifted to one of knowingness as she crossed her arms over her chest. "That's not what I mean, you silly boy. You have feelings for her, don't you?"

He choked on his food in surprise at her assertion. "Huh? Wh-what makes you say that? You know about my mission to prove her prejudice wrong, that's all there is to it. I don't feel any differently about her than I do about any other lady."

With a knowing smirk, the elderly woman caused him to wince. It was the same sarcastic expression his sister always wore before delivering a harsh truth. "Oh yes, because you make a point to greet every female palace staff member every morning, ask about all their family members, never stop talking about them, and ensure to pack extra lunch for them all just like you do for Scholar Moon, isn't that right?"

As his mother's words settled in, a sudden revelation struck San like a bolt of lightning. It was as if a veil had been lifted, revealing a truth that had been hidden from him until now. He couldn't pinpoint exactly when it had begun—perhaps it had lurked beneath the surface from the start, waiting for the right moment to surface.

He had been so preoccupied with proving to you that he was different, so focused on challenging your prejudices, that he hadn't stopped to consider his own feelings. What had started as a mission might have morphed into something more. The concern and care he felt for you went beyond mere kindness; it was a genuine desire to protect and support you.

Reflecting on the moments when you had occupied his thoughts—the incident in the library, the near-accident with the court ladies—he realised that his feelings ran deeper than he had admitted to himself. Even as he grappled with the conflict between wanting to take care of you and respecting your independence, he couldn't ignore the truth any longer. Choi San was a man with a lot of love to give, and he wasn't shy or ashamed to admit that he had developed feelings for you—feelings that transcended friendship or admiration. It was a realisation that both surprised and invigorated him, filling him with anticipation for what the future might hold.

But he wasn't stupid; he understood that acknowledging his feelings didn't equate to knowing yours or if you could ever reciprocate them. Despite this, he chose to find contentment in this understanding. He wouldn't expect anything from you in return. Your happiness would suffice to make him happy, even if it meant remaining mere acquaintances.

With this resolve, he bid his parents farewell before heading to work, his heart fluttering at the prospect of seeing you once more.

Later that afternoon, San strolled around the area where you often spent your lunch breaks. Spotting you in the secluded pavilion near the royal library, he felt a wave of relief wash over him. Instead of your usual packed lunch, you were nibbling on a meagre steamed bun. Approaching you with a grin, he greeted you.

"Good afternoon, Scholar Moon. I see you're having lunch as well," he greeted, and you nodded quickly, feeling self-conscious and embarrassed about your modest meal. Just as you were about to ask him what he wanted, he revealed the bag of lunchboxes he had been hiding behind his back.

"That's wonderful then. My family estate kitchen staff seemed to have made an extra set of lunch, and I was just wondering if maybe you would like to have it," he offered. You raised a sceptical eyebrow. "An extra set? That seems highly unlikely to happen."

He tried to maintain his composure despite being caught in a fib. "Fine. If you're not interested in it, I'm sure there are other palace staff who would enjoy it," he said, turning to leave. Panic surged within you as he started to walk away. "W-wait! I'll take it... please," you pleaded, reaching out to grasp his arm. With a satisfied nod, he settled down beside you.

That's what I thought.

As you opened the meticulously prepared lunchbox, a look of awe graced your features. The royal secretary chuckled at your adorable expression. He observed as you hesitated for a moment, glancing at him as if seeking approval before starting to eat. With a nod of encouragement, he joined in.

Little did you know, he had overheard some court ladies discussing the struggles faced by a female scholar, which could only be you, as you were the only one known. They recounted your struggles to afford essentials at home due to your brother's school fees and your own lack of income, all because of your dedication to your studies.

As you both began to eat, you didn't notice San biting his lip to hold back his laughter. Your eyes had widened and sparkled with innocent amazement at the flavours, a look he had never seen before. The sight made his heart flutter, confirming his feelings for you. He wanted to protect that innocence forever and be the only one to witness this endearing sight. He could easily picture spending time with you like this for life, and he knew he wouldn’t complain.

When you looked up and caught him staring, he quickly returned his gaze to his food. You blushed and checked your lips for any stray rice, wondering why he had been looking at you like that. Like a creep.

How annoying.

Relieved that there was nothing on your face, you continued eating. However, you furrowed your brows as you noticed the secretary picking at his food from the corner of your eye. Unable to contain your curiosity, you turned to see him pushing aside all the greens in his container. Raising an eyebrow, you asked, "Saving the best for last?"

He chortled, "Like hell I am."

Realising what was going on, you scoffed, "Seriously? The great Royal Secretary Choi doesn't eat his vegetables? Even my brother eats his. You should be ashamed of yourself."

He sputtered, clearly embarrassed, and you snickered at how flustered he appeared over your teasing. Glaring at you, he retorted, "Is that any way to talk to the kind samaritan who just treated you to lunch?"

You shrugged. "I'll treat anyone who doesn't eat their veggies the same way, with discrimination. If you won't eat them, give them here, you big baby."

He pouted, about to hand them over until you added, "Siwoo's going to be so disappointed when he hears about this. He looks up to you and thinks of you as his role model, you know." You gasped, realising you had revealed something you hadn't meant to share, but all your regret dissolved when you saw his reaction to your words.

San's jaw dropped, and he quickly snatched the greens back, stuffing his face with them. "There, I finished them. You happy now?!"

You couldn't help but burst into laughter. In moments like this, you wondered how wonderful it would be if all men were like him. You admired how his eyes crinkled as he joined in your laughter. He could be so annoyingly cute and likeable. Gosh, you hated it. You hated how warm he was making you feel, hated how good it felt.

As the two of you calmed down from your giggles, the smiles remained on your faces. You finished the last of your food, neatly wrapped the lunchbox back up in his bag, and handed it to him. "Thank you, Royal Secretary Choi," you said, your voice sincere.

His heart skipped a beat at your genuine gratitude. With a nod of acknowledgement, he reached out to take the bag from you. Both your breaths hitched when your fingertips brushed against each other. The unexpected contact sent a small, electric jolt through you both, causing you to momentarily lock eyes.

San's eyes softened, filled with an emotion you couldn't quite place. The world seemed to pause, and for a fleeting moment, the two of you were the only ones that existed. You could feel your pulse quickening, the warmth of his touch lingering on your skin.

"You're welcome," he finally replied, his voice barely above a whisper. He took the bag, his fingers lingering a moment longer than necessary before pulling away.

You quickly looked down, trying to steady your racing heart. "I should get back to my studies," you said, standing up and smoothing out your clothes.

"Of course," he replied, standing up as well. "Take care, Scholar Moon."

With a final nod, you turned and walked away, feeling his gaze linger on your back. A small smile tugged at your lips as you wondered what it would be like if moments like these with him became a regular part of your life. You found your own thoughts baffling, as no man had ever made you feel such emotions before.

Could he possibly... be the only exception?

No, he could not.

You should have known better. Should have recognised the trouble he brought along despite his constant insistence on helping. Initially, you felt grateful for his frequent gestures, like bringing you lunch and accompanying you to pick up your brother from school during the rainy season, the three of you huddled under his umbrella—a sight that warmed your mother's heart.

For a while, it felt like being on Cloud 9. But in hindsight, you must have lost your mind to let him get so involved in your life. It seemed foolish to rely on him so much, to let him become so close to you and your family.

And inevitably, there were consequences.

You reached your breaking point when the bullying at your educational institution intensified. Rumours about you and the royal secretary spending time together spread like wildfire among your fellow scholars, leading to endless torment.

As you tried to leave the institution, hoping to find solace at home after enduring what felt like hours of torment, Namgil and his cronies blocked your path, their mocking laughter echoing around you like a cacophony of cruelty.

"Leaving so soon, Miss Smarty Pants? Off to see your beloved Royal Secretary Choi, I presume?" he jeered, his voice dripping with malice. "Who would've thought your success was all thanks to him? Must have made quite the deal to get him to treat you so well. Bet you're not so innocent anymore, huh?"

His words cut through you like knives, causing your steps to falter as you froze in place, the implications of his cruel insinuations hitting you like a ton of bricks. "Should've known," Namgil continued, his tone laced with venom. "All you women are good for is spreading your legs."

You felt a wave of humiliation wash over you, a burning rage rising up within you as you struggled to hold back tears. They had no idea what you had been through, the sacrifices you had made to get to where you were. But at that moment, all you could do was stand there, feeling utterly defenceless against their relentless cruelty.

Meanwhile, San couldn't shake off his growing concern for you. He hadn't caught sight of you all day, and his inquiries around the palace yielded no sightings of you either. The court ladies confirmed that you hadn't visited the palace at all, which only deepened his worry. You had never missed a day before, and the thought of you being sick or in trouble made his heart sink.

Leaving work that day, the extra lunch he had prepared for you still in his hands, he hurried over to your brother's school in hopes of finding you there. However, his heart sank further when he only found Siwoo waiting by the entrance as usual. The child's face lit up when he spotted the royal secretary.

"Hyung-nim! Did my noona send you here to pick me up today?" Siwoo asked eagerly. The royal secretary shook his head, his concern evident in his expression.

"No, Siwoo-yah. She hasn't been to the palace either. Do you know where her institution is?" San inquired. Your brother's expression turned worried, but he nodded.

"Yes, I do! Let's go find her!" Siwoo suggested, but San gently shook his head.

"No can do, you tell me where and I'll go. Your mother will worry if neither of you are home," San explained. The child reluctantly agreed, but not without making a request.

"Okay, but promise me you'll bring her back," Siwoo pleaded. The secretary gave him a reassuring smile and pinky promised him.

"Don't worry, I will."

As San approached your institution, relief washed over him when he spotted your familiar figure not too far from the main entrance. However, his relief quickly turned to concern when he noticed you weren't alone. Surrounding you were a group of male scholars, their expressions and body language indicating that the conversation was far from pleasant. His heart twisted uncomfortably at the sight of your wet eyes and defeated look. Were you being bullied?

With clenched fists, he stepped closer, his brows narrowing in anger as he overheard snippets of the conversation. It was clear that the group was making disparaging remarks about you. His blood boiled when he heard the leader of the gang suggesting that you had been selling your body in exchange for your success. How dare they?

These bastards.

While San understood that your previous encounters with men must have been unpleasant for you to harbour such a strong dislike for them, witnessing you being treated in such a manner was a first for him. It was no wonder you hated them so much; who could blame you? But he was here now, and he was determined to change that.

He stalked over, his towering and intimidating presence startling the scholars. "Are my ears deceiving me, or did I truly just hear such vile words coming from a scholar?" he demanded, his voice icy and authoritative. "Watch your words because rest assured, your headmaster will hear about this. Not only were you being misogynistic, but how dare you insinuate such despicable things about Scholar Moon? This woman has more integrity than all of you combined. She doesn't need any man's backing—not even mine—to get where she is today. She is fully capable of achieving that on her own, and I think you know that, given how your insecurity and jealousy are blatantly showing through your nasty actions."

The scholars' faces turned pale, their bravado evaporating in the face of the royal secretary's fury. He stepped closer, his fists clenched, ready to defend you from any further insults. The leader of the gang opened his mouth to retort but quickly thought better of it, swallowing his words and casting a nervous glance at his friends.

"L-let's go, guys," Namgil stuttered, bowing before scrambling away. They weren't stupid. This was His Majesty's royal secretary, and if he reported them to the king, they would face dire consequences. There was nothing to gain from angering him.

San turned his gaze to you, his eyes softening. "Are you okay?" he asked gently, his voice a stark contrast to the harsh tone he had just used.

Instead of a grateful nod like he had expected, you met him with a darkened expression. Taking deep breaths, you tried to hold back your tears and calm yourself down. When you remained silent, glaring at him, he sighed. "Was that too much? I—I'm sorry, I know you can defend yourself, but I just—"

You cut him off, speaking in a low voice, "This is all your fault, Choi San."

He froze, his heart clenching painfully at the last words he expected to hear from you. You continued, harshly wiping away stray tears with your sleeves, "If only you'd just leave me alone like I asked from the beginning… I've been bullied all my life, but the usual nonsense I could endure. Not once—never—had anyone ever implied something like that," you whispered the last part. "And it's all because of you. Haven't you done enough? If you truly want to help me, then please—god—please, just leave me alone."

With that, you walked out of the institution, leaving him reeling in shock and hurt at your words. This was not how he had imagined things would turn out.

San finally realised that maybe his sister had been right. If distancing himself would make you happier, he’d do it, even if it meant suffering from being away from you. From that day onwards, he would make sure to keep his distance, honouring your wish.

You went to your younger brother’s school that evening and were surprised to hear that he had already been picked up. Panicking, you rushed home and were relieved to see Siwoo safely at the entrance, waiting with your worried mother. He clung tightly to you as you stroked his hair.

"Who brought you home?" you asked softly.

He sniffled, "Sannie hyung-nim… he promised he’d bring you home, but he lied. You came home alone."

You sighed, holding the child closer as guilt slowly crept into your heart. "He didn’t lie, Siwoo-yah. He did come to me, but I was the one who left him."

Your mother watched you with concern, her eyes reflecting relief and confusion. She reached out, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. "What happened, dear?"

You hesitated, the weight of the day's events pressing down on you. "I— I just... he won't bother us again, mother. I made sure of that."

Siwoo looked up at you, his eyes wide with innocence and confusion. "But why, noona? He was so nice to us."

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you hugged your brother tighter. "It will protect us. It will make things easier."

You were aware that you were trying to convince yourself more than anyone else. But you would rather die than admit it. You were Scholar Moon, the first female scholar in Joseon, and you didn't need a man to survive. You never did, and you never would. Choi San was merely a hindrance, but he was now in the past. Things would finally return to normal. You would excel in your exams and fulfil your dreams. Everything would be fine.

Or would it really?

Days following that proved much harder than anticipated. The royal secretary had indeed left you alone, as you'd requested. While you should have been glad, a part of you felt irritated by his obedience. You resented that he hadn't fought harder, but you knew you had no one to blame but yourself. You felt difficult to deal with. Surely, a man as good as Choi San deserved someone better than you. He had gone above and beyond to help you for the past few months, yet all you gave him in return were harsh words you... likely didn't mean at all.

Wait, what even are these thoughts? None of that should matter; it's all in the past. You needed to focus on your studies.

With a massage of your temples, you attempted to reread the same sentence you had been struggling with for the past hour. However, endless thoughts of that stupid man kept resurfacing, haunting you and weighing heavy on your heart with an unpleasant feeling you wished would disappear. God, did you hate him. Why was he so annoying even when he wasn't around?

You hated how he consumed your thoughts.

Everywhere you turned in the palace, he lingered in your mind. Each time you picked up your brother, he intruded into your thoughts, and even passing by your educational institution's entrance reminded you of him. What was wrong with you? What had he done to you? You were fine before meeting him, and you would be fine now. You kept repeating this to yourself, but all resolve crumbled when you saw him approaching one morning in the palace. It was the first time seeing him since that day—the day you'd uttered those cruel words to him.

You froze, clutching your books tightly to your chest, bracing yourself for whatever words or actions he might deliver. However, your heart sank when he simply passed by with a respectful nod. Why did that sting so much? You had brought this upon yourself. The urge to chase after him was overwhelming, and you squeezed your eyes shut to suppress the longing.

Pull yourself together, this is for the best.

You didn't need him.

Or did you?

Why does it hurt so much?

The atmosphere between you and the royal secretary had shifted, turning awkward and strained. Everyone in the palace could sense the change, the tension that now defined your interactions—or rather, the lack thereof. The once easy camaraderie had vanished, replaced by uncomfortable silences and fleeting, cautious glances. It wasn't long before word reached Namgil, who seized the opportunity to make your life even more miserable. The bullying intensified, but you endured it all, determined to pass your final exam without incident.

Time flew by, even as you suffered.

You buried yourself in your studies, hoping to push him out of your mind. Every page you turned, every line you read, was an attempt to forget the way he made you feel. The palace corridors, once filled with the warmth of his ever-comforting presence, now echoed with your lonely footsteps and the quiet rustle of your books.

Days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, your final examination was approaching. The weight of the upcoming test pressed down on you, but it was a welcome distraction from the pain in your heart. You could still see him in the palace, still catch glimpses of his familiar figure in the distance, but the gap between you felt insurmountable.

On the eve of your exam, you found yourself in the palace library, surrounded by stacks of books and scrolls. The dim light of the lantern cast long shadows across the room, mirroring the shadows in your heart. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing thoughts.

Then, without warning, the door creaked open, and there he was. San, standing in the doorway, looking just as conflicted as you felt. Your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, neither of you moved.

"Scholar Moon," he finally said, his voice low and hesitant. "I heard your final exam is tomorrow. I wanted to wish you luck."

You nodded, trying to keep your voice steady. "Thank you, Royal Secretary Choi."

He took a step closer, his eyes searching yours. "I know you asked me to leave you alone, but I just want you to know that I believe in you. You are more than capable of achieving your dreams."

Tears threatened to well up in your eyes, but you blinked them away. "I appreciate that," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, it seemed like he might say more, but then he simply nodded and turned to leave. As the door closed behind him, you felt a pang of regret. You had to fight everything in you to resist running after him, holding onto him, telling him how much you regretted everything, how wrong you had been, how much you… missed him.

No, stop it.

You took a deep breath and returned to your books, knowing that tomorrow's exam was the key to your future. You had to stay focused. You had to succeed, even if it meant pushing aside the feelings you couldn't quite shake.

The next morning, your mother smoothed your robes as you prepared to leave for the palace where the final examination would take place. Her hands were gentle, but the pride in her eyes was unmistakable.

"This is it," she whispered, a soft smile on her face. "All your hard work will pay off today. You will finally be someone in this land. The first female scholar-official in Joseon."

You nodded, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves. Today was the day you had worked so tirelessly for. Today, you would prove yourself.

"You look beautiful, noona!" Siwoo cheered, his excitement contagious.

You smiled down at your little brother, ruffling his hair. "Thank you, Siwoo-yah. I'll make you proud."

As you stepped outside, the morning sun casting a golden hue over the palace grounds, you felt a surge of determination. You wouldn't have time to think about a certain annoying man who had been invading your thoughts more than you cared to admit. You wouldn't let the memory of Choi San torment you more than Namgil and his friends ever could.

With each step towards the examination hall, you reminded yourself of your goals. You were Scholar Moon, the first female scholar in Joseon. You were about to make history.

As you entered the courtyard, the confident bounce in your step reflected the culmination of years of hard work and determination. You were oblivious to the devious grins Namgil and a few other scholars exchanged as their gazes followed your figure.

"There she is," Namgil sneered, nodding toward the bridge above the large pond that everyone would later cross to reach the examination hall. A wicked idea formed in his mind. "Remind me, boys. It would be impossible for someone with drenched clothes to participate in the final examination, is that correct?"

They snickered, immediately understanding his implication. "Yes, I think that is right."

You moved through the crowd, nodding to a few familiar faces, your mind already focused on the examination ahead. You had no idea that behind you, Namgil and his cronies were plotting to ruin everything you had worked all your life for.

As the time approached for the scholars to cross the bridge and enter the hall, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the challenge ahead. This was your moment, and nothing would stand in your way.

Or so you thought.

As you stepped onto the bridge, Namgil and his cronies moved into position. With a quick, coordinated push, you were sent plummeting into the pond below. The cold water enveloped you, and panic set in immediately. You flailed, trying to keep your head above water, but it was futile. "H-help! Please!"

Laughter erupted from above. Namgil and his friends stood at the edge of the bridge, their mocking laughter ringing in your ears.

"Oops! Looks like Scholar Moon won't be making history today," Namgil taunted, his voice dripping with malice.

"I... c-can't swim..."

Everyone froze, the courtyard falling silent as your bully's laughter ceased. The realisation hit them like a ton of bricks: the pond was much deeper than they had anticipated, and you couldn't swim. Your desperate cries for help echoed in the sudden stillness, turning their malicious prank into a potential tragedy.

Panic spread among the scholars as they realised what they had done. What began as sabotage could now be seen as attempted murder, and their futures hung in the balance. Namgil's face drained of colour as he watched you struggle, knowing full well the consequences of their actions.

Fortunately for you, and unfortunately for them, San happened to be dropping by to observe the examination. His heart plummeted at the sight before him. Without a second thought, he pushed through the panicked crowd of useless men and plunged into the pond, desperate to save you.

His strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you up from the depths. He swam with determined strokes, bringing you to the safety of the pond's edge. As he hoisted you onto solid ground, he checked for signs of life, his own breath coming in ragged gasps from the effort and fear.

You coughed and sputtered, expelling water from your lungs as you gasped for air. San's relieved expression melted into one of fierce protectiveness and anger. He turned to face the group of terrified scholars, his eyes blazing with fury.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded, his voice a low growl. "Do you have any idea what you almost did?"

Namgil and his friends could only stammer incoherent excuses, their earlier bravado replaced by sheer terror. The royal secretary's intervention had saved you, but it had also sealed their fate.

A few examiners rushed out just in time to witness the chaos, their expressions darkening at the sight of the guilty, terrified faces of Namgil and his cronies. Realising the gravity of their actions, the bullies pleaded for mercy as they were escorted away to face the consequences.

The royal secretary turned toward you, gently brushing aside the damp strands of hair that clung to your face, his touch tender. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, his concern evident in his expression.

Your lips quivered at the tenderness in his voice and the worry etched on his face. He was the first and only man to care so deeply for you, and you couldn't fathom how you had repeatedly pushed him away. But now, tired of denying your feelings, you couldn't hold back the tears that welled up in your eyes. With a broken sob, you shook your head. "No… I'm not," you whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder.

He hesitated for a moment, startled by your sudden embrace, before returning it, enveloping you in his arms. "What's wrong? Tell me," he murmured, his voice laced with concern.

You sobbed harder, weakly hitting him. "It's you… y-you're so annoying, you know that? I hate it so much… hate that I love you."

He pulled back, wide-eyed, holding your shoulders at arm's length as he gazed into your tear-filled eyes. "Wh-what did you say…? This isn't a dream, is it?"

Through your tears, you chuckled at his reaction. "I finally muster the courage to confess to you, and that's your response?"

His smile broke through, the one you adored so much, the one where his eyes disappeared into slits, bringing warmth and comfort no matter how hard things got. Pulling you back into his arms, he stroked the back of your head. "I love you too..."

"How's your first day as a Scholar-Official, Moon?" inquired the royal secretary as you grinned at him. "It's going well, Royal Secretary Choi. Thank you for asking."

After he assisted you in petitioning His Majesty for another chance at your final examination, arguing that you were merely a victim of foul play, you were granted the opportunity. As anticipated, you passed with flying colours, ranking at the top of the batch. Finally, you held the prestigious title of scholar-official.

However, that wasn't the only change in your life. Choi San openly courted you, much to the king's approval, solidifying your status as a formidable power couple.

Leaning down to plant a kiss on your forehead, he smiled, "I'll see you after work."

You blushed and gently pushed him away. "Not here, please. But yes, I'll see you later."

As you left the palace after your day's work, you spotted a familiar face. Smiling, you greeted her, but your steps faltered when she bowed respectfully.

"Hi there. I remember you," you said, trying to recall where you had met her before.

She grinned knowingly. "Yes, it's good to see you again, Scholar-Official Moon. I suppose you believe my words about the royal secretary now, don't you? After all, you and he are the talk of the palace."

Your cheeks flushed, recalling that she had been the court lady to disclose San's identity during your initial encounter. You nodded awkwardly, trying to recover from your embarrassment.

She chuckled softly. "Well then, don't let me keep you. Royal Secretary Choi is waiting for you by the entrance."

Your heart soared at the sight of San standing by the entrance, just as the court lady had claimed. He was waiting for you, and the realisation filled you with an indescribable warmth. This wasn't just any man; this was your man. Yours alone. The sight of him, tall, handsome, kind, and caring, reaffirmed your feelings.

Without a second thought, you ran over, calling out, "Sannie!" He turned towards you, his face lighting up with that beam that never failed to make your heart race. His arms opened wide, and you leapt into them, feeling a rush of joy at being in his embrace.

"I missed you, honey," he whispered, his voice filled with affection.

You pressed your lips against his, relishing the moment as his response came swiftly, his kiss soft and reassuring. Pulling back slightly, a smile played on your lips, your heart dancing with joy. "I missed you too, my big baby," you teased.

"Come on, remember you wanted to learn more about my past?" you said, chuckling at the pout on his face as you pulled away.

He nodded eagerly, and you took his hand, leading him towards a place you hadn't visited in a long time.

"So, this was the root of your hatred for men…" he murmured, his gaze fixed on your father's grave as you stood beside him. You had just finished recounting everything that had transpired, from the beginning of your existence to the hardships you endured to reach where you are today.

"Yes, but you showed me that not all men are the same," you replied softly, your voice tinged with gratitude.

He gently squeezed your hands, turning to face you with a serious expression. "And I won't stop showing you. I promise I'll be different from your father and every other man you've encountered. I'll protect you and your family as if they were my own. I'll strive to be the best husband to you and father to our future child. You'll never have to suffer alone again. I'm here for you," he whispered, his forehead resting against yours.

You chuckled softly through your tears, nodding in response. "That's amusing… I don't recall agreeing to be your wife just yet. What are you talking about, Choi San?"

He let out a playful whine, "Hey! You—wait... you said 'yet' though, so that means... you will eventually, right?" he asked hopefully.

Teasingly, you stuck your tongue out at him before turning and running away. But deep down, you knew that no matter how far you went, he would always be there to catch you.

Of course, you idiot.

Holy crap, I was gone for like 2 weeks and I return to 1.85k+ followers?! ASDFGHJKL thank you all so much😭

Anyway, I hope this was decent, y'all... I swear, I didn't plan for this part to be so freaking long HAHA but I just felt like it would take quite a bit for her hatred to turn into love hehe I hope the ending didn't feel rushed or anything :3

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! ❤️

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@green-agent @stayinhellevator @vampzity @tinyteezer @evidive |

@vantediary @superbbananananana @kimyeolchan @chocolate-scoups @decadentstrangernacho |

@vic0921 @marievllr-abg @sunnyhokyu @seungmin-in-thebuilding @heyitsmetonid |

@sansaurora9904 @darkestacademiamindsx12-blog @myblovedjyh @professormingisglasses @newworldwritings |

@chicken-fifi @thunderous-wolf @shythinggiver @madnpan @yandere-stories |

@anxiousskylar @frobin4ever @starssongs98 @dollce-exe @jan-l |

@lovelyred2 @haven-cove @watermelon2319 @dreamingofyeo @akimkim |

@scuzmunkie @satsuri3su @mismatchfluffysocks @borntoshineateez @st4rhwa |

@ddaeing @tropicalsstuff @bts-army380 @skteezcursed @beauty143 |

@naps-over-degree @brown88 @sis-101 @lemon-sage17 @jcalicocatj

#edenesth #the way to this heart #love to hate you #twthh spinoff #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #choi san #ateez san #historical au #joseon era #choi san x reader #choi san x you #ateez fic

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osachiyo · 1 year ago

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.* ࣪.⋆ ❐ OH, DARLING ! (∩˃o˂∩)♡

﹙ ✿ ﹚── includes : dazai, chuuya, kunikida, ranpo, fyodor & nikolai x fem!reader

﹙ ✿ ﹚── content warnings : sfw content (very rare from me ☠), fluff, nikolai being an amazing father, a bit of crack, a teeeny tiny suggestive bit but nothing too bad, and ummm children?

﹙ ✿ ﹚── synopsis : bsd men as daddies 😍

﹙ ✿ ﹚── author's note : lmk if y'all want the baby making part aswell 😼

DAZAI ୭·࣭࣪̇˖

Dazai as a dad in one word is definitely 'silly'. He always knew how to make his baby girl's frown into a smile in mere seconds. He knew her like the back of his hand, always knowing how to calm her down when she's crying or throwing a fit. During your pregnancy he'd try to sing his famous suicide song to his soon to be born baby, only to get smacked in the head by you. He'd always keep a hand on your swollen stomach, excited to feel her kick.

You and Dazai were in your shared bedroom. His lips were on your own soft ones, plump and swollen from him softly nibbling on them. He gently laid you down on the mattress, kissing and nibbling on your ear as he whispered sweet nothings to you. He was about to lift your shirt when suddenly a cry came from the other room. You both jumped and sat up straight on the bed before you rushed out to comfort your crying baby. You picked her up from the crib and shushed her, bouncing your daughter in your arms in hopes for her to calm down. "Its okay, darling. Mommy's right here, see?" You smiled, wiping the tears and snot off her face with a towel. You sighed in relief when she stopped crying, only staring at you with a pout. "What's my princess crying about?" You turn around to see Dazai leaning against the door frame. You walk towards him and hand her over, pouting, "guess she missed her daddy?" He cooed at her, making her giggle and squeal. "Oh, is that right? Aren't you a naughty girl, interrupting mommy and daddy's spicy time like this?" He pinched her nose softly, his tone playful but holding so much love. He truly adored this baby. You huff playfully, crossing your arms. "I'm the one who carried her for nine months but you're her favourite?! This is so unfair." He chuckled, kissing your cheek. "Don't worry, love. You'll always be my favourite." You made a disgusted face, "I'd rather not." "Wha—Why?!"

CHUUYA ୭·࣭࣪̇˖

This man is the best dad any kid could ever ask for. He was genuinely so damn nervous when you first told him you were pregnant, almost thinking it was a prank until you told him no, you were actually having a baby. He was excited and scared at the same time, but you reassured him that he would make a wonderful father, and he did.

Chuuya was taking care of the baby today since you had to go and run some errands. He silently stared at his son absolutely demolishing the Barbie doll Dazai had gifted him, foolishly assuming you guys had a girl. His son, who had just turned two, straight up decapitated the doll and is now trying to rip off it’s arm. Chuuya debated whether he would stop the child before he accidentally hurts himself. He finally decided to just take a video and send it to you with the caption, “this is what we raised.” He placed the phone aside and strode over to his son, gently trying to take the downright brutalized doll away from him but he wouldn’t budge, tightening his grip on the toy, “mine!” Chuuya sighed, wondering just where this kid got his stubbornness from.

You arrived back home just one hour later, "I'm home!" You first placing the groceries in their designated spots before heading to the livingroom to see your husband and son. The living room was...a complete mess. Barbie limbs were scattered on the tiled floor, some even had teeth marks on them, indicating that the little boy was chewing on them. You sighed and your eyes landed on the sofa, where the two most important people of your life were sleeping peacefully. Your eyes softened. You walked over to the couch and gently kissed your son's cheek before doing the same to Chuuya. You noticed there was a Barbie head somehow stuck to his ginger hair. You laughed quietly, he definitely took after him.

KUNIKIDA ୭·࣭࣪̇˖

When you told him you were pregnant, he was absolutely over the moon. He was very protective during your pregnancy, not letting you go to work or do any household chores. He wanted to be the ideal husband and father for you and the bundle of joy you were giving birth to. He was with you every step of the way, reassuring you that everything would be fine and you were both in this together. He knew you'd be an amazing mother.

Kunikida woke up from the sound of a chair scraping against the floor. He squinted and reached for his phone, '2:16 am'. He sat up straight, blinking the sleep away as he got out of the comfort of the shared bed. He glanced at you, leaning in to kiss your forehead before walking out of the bedroom. He quietly headed towards the kitchen only to see his 3 year old daughter standing atop a chair infront of the fridge, tub of the cookie dough flavoured ice cream in her stubby hands. She tries to scoop it out with an ice cream scooper but alas, the ice cream is too hard. His heart clenched at the adorable sight of her pouting, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she tries her best to scoop the cold treat out. He snaps out of it and clears his throat, hands on his hips while he interrogated her, "and what're you doing up so late?" She whipped her head towards her father's direction, startled by his stern voice. She quickly tries to hide the ice cream tub behind her, the scooper falling out of her grasp in the process. "n-nothing!" He sighed and picked the metal tool up from the floor, walking over to the sink to clean it before getting a bowl and returning back to his little girl. "Give that here," he takes the tub of ice cream, scooping a healthy amount in the bowl before giving it to her. "Don't tell mommy, okay?" She nodded, too busy savouring the sweet taste of the ice cream. He pinches her cheek playfully, "you're such a messy eater..and do not think you'll be getting away with this everytime, young lady." He scolds, flicking her forehead, making her whine. If only they both knew you've been watching the entire time, heart doing backflips at the cuteness of it.

RANPO ୭·࣭࣪̇˖

Ranpo was...an interesting father to say the least. He wasn't terrible but he definitely wasn't the best. You didn't expect anything more, considering he's a full grown adult with a toddler's mentality. While your pregnancy, he helped you with most stuff but he would not tolerate your mood swings. He once called you bratty while you were in your trimester and you smacked the shit out of him, which was deserved according to Yosano while he whined about it to her. He bought you your flowers and chocolates as an apology later. This man almost cried when he held the baby in his arms for the first time but he'd rather die than admit that.

Ranpo stared at you breastfeeding your baby boy in utter focus. His eyes were narrowed to slits as he observed his son stealing your tits from their rightful owner. You deadpanned at him, "honey, is something the matter?" He pouted, "I want milk too~" You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, mentally patting yourself on the back for dealing with his shenanigans every day. "You're not a baby, Ranpo.." "but you said I'm your baby! You call me baby every day, no?" Your son side eyed his dad for a second before going back to drinking peacefully. "Did you see that?! Did you see how he looked at me?!" Ranpo accusedly pointed a finger at the small child and you shook your head. "He's just a baby, darling. I don't think he can give you a nasty look at this age..." Your husband only crosses his arms angrily before crawling towards you on the bed, reaching for one of your boobs when his son side eyed him again, judging hard. Ranpo ignored the look and leaned in to take you in his mouth when your son started crying, waving his arms around in clear distress. You tried to calm him down, bouncing him in your lap and kissing his chubby face., "aww baby don't cry~ daddy is a weirdo? I know, baby, I know." Ranpo gasped, grumbling something about 'sharing is caring'. "so sharing is caring until it comes to you sharing your snacks?" You commented, giggling mischeviously with your son, who was now beaming as he watched his dad sulk away.

FYODOR ୭·࣭࣪̇˖

Fyodor was an amazing husband to you as long as you obeyed him like a good wife should that sounds borderline sexist but ok. He was also very caring and protective during your pregnancy, always looking out for you, making sure you're well fed, not letting you do chores by yourself, you get the idea. Fortunately, the whole process went very smoothly, he was there almost every step of the way. When he held the small child in his arms, he felt a joy he didn't know he could. The small bundle of sunshine got fyodor's raven hair, your eyes and his face structure. He just loved that kid so much and you could tell by the way he spoke to her so gently, cradling her in his arms as he promised her that would take good care of you both.

Fyodor was currently busy with giving his precious daughter a bath, the three year old jumping in excitement as she loves her bathtime. Usually you'd be the one helping her bathe, but you couldn't do that today because of a fever. So your dear husband took over the household duties for today. You tried to reassure him that he didn't have to, but he wouldn't budge, forcing you to lay down and rest while he took care of everything.

Now here he was, trying to choose which bathbomb he should pick for his three year old daughter. He settles on a sparkly purple one with pink swirls, "How's this one, love?" The toddler's eyes widen, curiously gazing at it with her big, doe eyes. He smiled and plopped the bathbomb in the tub, watching his daughter squeal as it fizzes up. "Oh! 's pwetty, daddy!" She giggled, splashing some water at him. He chuckled, head resting on his palm, thinking about how adorable she was.

NIKOLAI ୭·࣭࣪̇˖

Bro went to get the milk faster than lighting itself.

©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, likes and reblogs are very appreciated♡

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solarisfortuneia · 11 months ago

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— 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬.

and the smell of camphor dancing in the wind.

✦ info: he didn't know he'd lose you so soon. (come back, please. even if it is just for five more minutes.)

✦ featuring: alhaitham.

✦ warnings: angst, character death (reader), heartache, 1.2k words, somewhat proof-read.

✦ notes: i cried so goddamn hard writing this. why is my first work after hiatus pain. why did i pick up the angst wip. but!! i'm writing again, so that's good. (more notes at the end.)

he didn’t know that it was your last day together.

he didn’t know that the smile you gave him that afternoon, your eyes sparkling like sunlight upon the serene waves of the ocean, would be the last he’d ever see. that the playful light in your gaze would fade so very soon, slipping through his fingers like sand.

he didn’t know that last night would be the last time he held you close while you drifted off to sleep. he didn’t know that today would be the last time he’d wake up with you.

he didn’t think he’d lose you like this.

he didn’t think he wouldn’t be able to save you from that blow.

“please, please,” he begs, both to you and to whatever force that is just barely holding you together. “just stay with me for five more minutes, please. until i can get you somewhere.”

the rain soaks him to the bone, clothes and hair sticking to his skin. your lips stay motionless, eyes shut.

“wake up, please,” he bargains. “you can have all the five minutes of extra sleep you want later, i promise. just—” his vision blurs, and something shines on the ground before it is gone, swallowed by damp earth, lost amidst drops of falling rain.

desperately, he tears off parts of his traveling cloak to staunch the bleeding. deep inside, he knows it is futile. he knows your wound is too great. he knows what lies ahead. but he cannot help but press the cloths to your wound and pray.

please, please tell me it’ll be okay.

please stay with me, beloved. i’ll read you all the books in the world. i’ll sleep in with you everyday, even if we end up whiling away our time.

please. stay. stay with me. i can’t lose you yet.

“— just wake up, beloved.”

by some miracle, your eye flutters. just a bit. just enough to set hope ablaze, just enough for the grip on his heart to loosen a tiny bit. he buries his face in your shoulder, resting his head against your neck, uncaring of the blood that stains his clothes. your blood. on his clothes. his hands. everywhere.

no. no. this can’t be happening.

he feels you strain beneath him, your unwounded arm gently, weakly brushing his back. he jolts upright, eyes trained on your face. you send a frail smile his way. he clasps your face softly as you nuzzle into his palm.

“alhaitham—”

his full name. archons, how long has it been since you called him that?

“— take good care of yourself, okay?” you tell him, chest heaving, your fingertips touching a tear on his cheeks. “i love you. so much.”

those are the last words he hears fall from your lips. he presses a kiss to your forehead, to your eyelids, and to your cheeks and to your lips, over and over and over until he feels your breath slow, hoping they’ll say what he knows he cannot manage to choke out.

i love you.

he stays there next to you for who knows how long, holding you until the rain slows and a faint rainbow smiles in the sky.

until he can’t smell camphor anymore.

—

every person has their curiosities.

they’re just the little traits that set them apart from others, the things that make them tick just a little bit differently, the things that make them, them.

for instance, someone may be obsessed with collecting tiny furniture, while another eats the crusts off their sandwich before actually consuming it. someone may have an affinity for the most niche aspects of linguistics, while another can accurately predict the next raindrop that slides down a window pane.

after all, no two people are exactly alike, are they?

alhaitham knows he’s got his fair share of these curiosities himself. his aversion to soup and all things that resemble it, to name one. and with you, he’d noticed two things.

number one: the scent of camphor that seems to linger on every inch of your person.

he’d caught whiff of it almost immediately the first time you met. you were but one of his juniors in the akademiya, filled with bright-eyed curiosity and anxiety to match. you had tripped over a stair and bumped into his table in the library, bringing the mountain of books in your arms crashing down.

and with subsequent coincidental meetings, he learnt that the subtle scent of camphor dancing in the air meant you weren’t far away.

you were, unfortunately, one of the poor souls who seemed to be cursed with constantly recurring minor illnesses, and almost always walked about with a stuffy nose. and so, you always carried a small disc of camphor in a handkerchief, as well as in your pocket.

you swore up and down, left, right and center that sniffing the vapors helped make breathing easier.

‘it’s my grandmother’s remedy, alhaitham! camphor always works wonders. well, that and eucalyptus oil.”

alhaitham may not know the validity of your claim or the legitimacy of the cure, but he knew to never, ever question a grandmother’s remedy. that, and he’d much rather refrain from starting a back-and-forth about something so small.

and number two: your neverending pleas of different variations of ‘just five more minutes!’

“five more minutes, ‘haitham. please.” you’d whine grumpily when he woke you up to start your day. “let me sleep in for five more minutes.”

“five more minutes, habibi,” you’d ask when he put down the story you’d requested he read out to you before bedtime. “read me the part where she finds the music box?”

“five more minutes, baby,” is what you’d tell him when he asks how much longer you’d take getting ready. “you can’t rush perfection!”

those five more minutes were never five minutes long.

but he’d always, always indulged you and those pleading eyes of yours. as stoic as he appeared to be, you lived in his heart. of course he could never deny you anything under the sun.

—

alhaitham remembers that silly little song you sang over and over, the one you’d learnt from a kid in the bazaar. he’d taken you to see one of nilou’s performances, and, friendly soul that you were, you’d struck up a conversation with some of the eager audience members before the play.

“oh, how i wish i was a bird flying free,

i’d see the world, every mountain and every sea!

oh, how i wish i was a cloud in the sky,

wouldn’t you like to wave to me as i pass by?”

you’d hum that rhyme on every idle afternoon.

loss is inevitable. he knows that, with how logical and rational and straightforward he is. he’d lost his parents, but he was far too young to remember. he’d lost his grandmother, but she passed in her sleep of old age, serene and wise.

but you? he didn’t think you’d leave him this soon. a singular wish sits in his soul, making its home in his bones.

a wish that you’d come back, somehow.

he wishes you gave him five more minutes, just as he always did. but he knows that you could’ve given him five more hours, five more days, five more years and five more decades and it would still not be enough time spent with you.

a blue feathered bird comes to perch on his shoulder, interrupting his musings just as he raises his face to the sky. he sees the heart shaped cloud that floats idly above sumeru city.

he thinks of the rhyme again, and something in him tells him to wave. and so he does. a scent so familiar lingers, faintly brushing his nose in the wind that picks up.

“alhaitham, it's time to go.” kaveh calls his name softly.

alhaitham doesn't move. “five more minutes,” he says, echoing your favorite phrase. “i smell camphor in the breeze.”

✦ extra notes: my alhaitham characterization for this fic stems from how i believe that when alhaitham is attached, he's attached. so i focused more on that, and less of all that rationality and whatnot. this one loves deeply, yk?

that camphor thing is a real grandma remedy in our household (my mom would tie some in a hanky and put some under my pillow and still to this day reminds me to do it when i'm sick) which is what originally sparked the idea for this

when i'd initially started this wip, i didn't expect it go this way. usually i write with my brain, but i think i wrote this one with my fingers working faster than i can think hsjhsj so sorry if it's kinda out of place lmao but yk what? i'm happy with it still even though i feel like it doesn't have my usual quality.

thanks for reading.

#—🖋#・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗#astronetwrk #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #alhaitham x you #genshin x you #emotional blabbering ahead in the tags beware #this is hitting me in a place i didn't know existed hjsjs #like. i haven't lost anyone but i have lost my life as i know it?#this past year was full of so many endings and i've been struggling in some way everyday #like i didn't know that the last time i saw my friends would truly be the last time we ever saw each other #i didn't know that i'd be bidding goodbye to my parents as i left home through an airport #ANYWAY ENOUGH DUMPING. ig i'm just telling you to hug the people you love tighter and cherish every moment you spend with them #time goes by really quickly and you don't know where it'll go #ily guys #ew barf feelings </3 /j

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bigdumbbambieyes · 8 months ago

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They used to have sex every single day.

Hot, rough, quick sex whenever and wherever they could.

In their cars, in their rooms, on the recliners by Steve's pool, on his mother's perfectly kept cream coloured couch.

Always frantic, always desperate.

But, that was then, and this is now.

Billy feels shame. And guilt. A lot of it.

He takes antidepressants now and they're helping a lot, but not in other ways.

He can remember the flash of disappointment in Steve's eyes the first time he couldn't get it up for him. The humiliation and shame of not being able to get his fucking dick hard for his hot as fuck boyfriend who loves him and wants him -- it had been too much.

Even the soft touches and whispers of 'it's okay' weren't enough to push those feelings away. He pulled away, ran away, to the bathroom to hide in his shame, tears in his eyes.

Because he's always been good at sex. Always ready to go. It was what people had always wanted from him, what he was good for, and now?

It's been over a month now. Billy doesn't even want sex, which is a startling and unsettling feeling, but he's getting used to it.

He knows Steve isn't, though. Or, at least, he assumes, because Steve will still and try to start things late at night and Billy will tell him that he's 'tired' or 'not in the mood' and he hates the way Steve mumbles a soft 'okay', like he's given up.

Steve had even tried to bring it up one day over dinner, but Billy shut that conversation down immediately. He couldn't even look into his boyfriend's eyes when he did.

He knows he's a coward. He always has been.

But, Steve isn't.

Which is probably why, tonight, he's crawled into bed beside Billy and wrapped himself around him so tight.

Pressing his cheek into Billy's shoulder, and when Billy glances over at him from his book, he sees those big Bambi eyes staring up at him, and those pretty lips part to abruptly say, "Even if we never have sex again, I'll be here."

It makes him blink, caught off guard by it, and he feels that nagging shame telling him to push Steve away or get out of the bed, but Steve wraps his legs around his and holds him tighter, his gaze unrelenting.

His pretty boy presses a tiny little kiss to his shoulder and mutters, "I read the side effects of your meds."

It makes his skin prickle to know that.

"Billy," Steve breathes, frowning, "I love you, y'know?"

Billy nods, swallows thickly and mutters, "I know."

"Then talk to me."

Staring down at Steve, into those earnest eyes, filled with so much love and frustration, Billy knows he should. He owes Steve that much.

"It's," his voice catches, feels a lump form in his throat, "It's hard to."

"Why?" Steve whispers, thumbing over his skin where he's grabbing Billy's other freckled shoulder.

He gives a shrug, wishing he could just tell his boyfriend to drop it, but he can't do that to him. He's trying to be better.

There's tears in his eyes now, he can feel them wobbling on his lower lashes, but he decides to be brave and push past that shame and embarrassment to confide in his boyfriend, his best friend, his goddamn everything to whisper, "It's...so fucking embarrassing."

The tears stream down his cheeks, his face twisting as emotions creep up his throat, and Steve's face softens immediately -- and then he's bringing Billy into his chest, letting him hide there for a moment as he sobs, rubbing his back and kissing his hair, comforting him.

He feels so small like this, whenever Steve cuddles him into his chest, but it's also so safe. He knows he'll always be able to have this because Steve always puts him here, whenever he needs it, and it makes him breath just a little easier, even as he cries.

"What's embarrassing about it?" Steve whispers, his tone soft and curious, encouraging Billy to open up.

And again, Billy fights back the instinct to clam up, to shut down, and mutters into the soft fabric of Steve's sleep shirt, perhaps a little bit too mean, "I can't fucking get it up for you."

"But it makes sense, with the pills," Steve mumbles, not even bothered by the harshness in Billy's tone because he's used to his boyfriend being sensitive, "Like, you still like me, right?"

"Obviously," Billy mutters with a sniffle, furrowing his brows as he continues, "It's just...so frustrating. I--we used to fuck all the time, but even if I try to get hard, I just...can't."

If he wasn't so fucked up he'd fuck Steve all the time.

"It's not your fault, Billy," Steve murmurs, his voice firm, "Not having sex doesn't mean I don't love you. You mean so much more to me than just fucking -- please tell me you know that."

And, he does. Billy does know that. "I do," he whispers, realizing, "It's just...more of a 'me' thing."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Like..." he pulls away from his hiding place, just enough so he can see Steve again, in the warm glow of the bedside lamp, and it gives him enough courage to continue, "I've always thought that sex was...all that I was good at. That it was, y'know, what everyone wanted from me. So...when I realized that I couldn't do that, with you, I just...felt so embarrassed and ashamed."

Steve's eyes soften again, his voice just as soft as he mumbles, "Baby--"

Billy can't stop, "I know I'm shit at telling you things and how I feel, so I try and show you instead. And sex was always easy for me, to show you that I love you, because I got to make you feel good and that made me feel good, but...but now I don't know--"

"Coffee."

Billy's mouth snaps shut, confused, as he asks, "What?"

Steve smiles gently and reaches up to brush Billy's hair back, "You make me coffee every morning. You cook my favourite pasta whenever I'm sad. You massage my shoulders whenever you see me rubbing them, and even when I'm not. You always give me the blue piece whenever we play board games because you know it's my favourite colour. You're always the first one to reach out when we hold hands."

Oh.

"You do know how to love me, Billy," Steve murmurs, sliding his hand down from Billy's hair and to his cheek, thumbing over it with such tenderness it makes tears well in his eyes again, "I feel loved by you all the time. With or without sex."

Billy can feel his chin wobbling a bit as the new tears fall, because no one has ever loved him like this. He hasn't let anyone love him like this before. He feels stupid for ever thinking that sex would make or break them when they've fought literal monsters together.

"Do I make you feel loved?" Steve asks.

"Yes," Billy answers immediately, even nodding as Steve holds his face, "You tell me all the time and I feel it."

He feels it every time Steve praises him. Whenever Steve buys him a little something just because it reminded Steve of him. Whenever Steve lets him cry in his arms, like this. He feels loved when Steve encourages him to talk to him about how he feels because no one has ever fucking done that for him -- held space for him like Steve has.

"Good," Steve smiles, a little relieved, "And, I'm sorry, that I didn't realize it sooner -- I wouldn't have tried to, like, initiate and stuff. I feel like a dick, like I was pressuring you."

"You weren't pressuring me," Billy mumbles, reaching up to place his hand over Steve's on his cheek, "I felt fucking horrible for even saying 'no'."

"Never feel bad for saying 'no', baby," Steve insists, "It's nothing personal, I know that now."

Billy nods in understanding, the both of them staring quietly at one another, and Steve gives him a small smile that Billy returns weakly.

"I love you," Steve murmurs, scooting forward a little more just so he can brush the tips of their noses together affectionately, "I love you so much, Billy."

"I love you, too," Billy whispers, closing his eyes and nuzzling back, lowering his mouth a little more to press his lips against his boyfriend's in a gentle kiss.

He feels Steve kiss him back, soft and loving, so patient and understanding that it makes Billy's heart ache in gratitude and adoration.

He'll never love anyone else like he loves Steve, he knows that much.

"I'm willing to try, soon," Billy murmurs when they pull away, their hands still intertwined on his cheek, staring into those dark eyes.

"Sex?" Steve murmurs, his brows lifting.

"Yeah," Billy whispers, leaning into Steve's touch.

"Not because you feel like you have to?" Steve questions, worry in his tone.

Billy shakes his head, "No," and adds a little playfully, "I still want my boyfriend to fuck me, even if I can't fuck him."

Steve huffs a quiet laugh at that and leans in to kiss him again, nodding in agreement, "Yeah, we can do that. Whenever you wanna try, I'm ready."

Where there had once been shame and embarrassment is now a soothing feeling of being understood and known, so sweet that it makes Billy kiss his boyfriend again and again, wanting to say 'thank you' but knowing that Steve already knows.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #hurt/comfort #this made me fall in love w them all over again idk #I love it when they're healing together and will never get tired of writing it #bambiwrites

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 6 months ago

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Code of Conduct 4

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as cheating, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your boss has a difficult time keeping his personal life from bleeding into his work.

Characters: Steve Rogers, this reader is known as Rosie.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

💼Part of the Bad Bosses AU💼

“Are you sure you want to keep working?” You ask Mr. Rogers as you bring in the printed report he requested.

“Yeah, can’t really go home...” he mutters as he takes the report with a brittle smile.��

“I guess, but you could... take some time for yourself. I can call your one o’clock,” you offer.

“Rosie, you’re wonderful. But I need the distraction.”

“Okay, I—can I get you anything? A tea? When I feel down, I have this lavender chamomile in my desk that helps me feel better.”

He looks at you, his blue eyes sparkling. You really can’t handle him crying. His eyes are already pink and puffy from the tears he hid in his closed office.

“You’re so sweet,” he sniffs.

“Look that over and I’ll steep the tea,” you insist.

You leave him before your ingrained sympathy can have you joining his pity party. You feel awful for him but lost too. You’re not sure how to handle all this. Relationships have always been a bit of a mystery to you. You have lot of friends but never found anyone to be more than.

You take your time in the break room. You smell like vinaigrette. It’s another reminder of the chaotic morning. The kettle pops and you pour the water over the tea bag. You bob it up and down with the string and make your way back to Mr. Roger’s office.

He thanks you as you set it down and warn him it’s hot. He runs his thumb up and down the edge of a page then looks up at you.

“Anything else, sir?”

“You... you said you feel down sometimes?” He asks.

“Oh, well, yeah, but everyone does.”

“But... about what? Why would you feel down?” He lowers the stapled papers onto the desk.

“Just... things, sir. Nothing big. It’s just the way people are.”

“You-- you have everything, Rosie. You’re so bright and bubbly. What could make you sad?” He pivots his chair towards you. “Who do I gotta give a talking to around here?”

“No one, sir. Really. I guess I just need a pick-me-up from time to time.”

He nods and looks down. You hover on the other side of his desk. You should get back to work but you don’t know if you should leave him.

“I get lonely too.” He lifts his chin up. “Even when Peggy’s right next to me. I get it.”

“Sir?”

“You said you’re not married, right? I—I'm sorry if I assumed--” he cringes. “Wow, I’m so embarrassing.”

“It’s... it’s fine. I have friends and we have lots of fun. My friend Missie, she’s really cool. She lies to tie-dye. We do that sometimes. And you,” you perk up, “you have Mr. Barnes, right? He told me that you twohave known each other forever.”

“He told you that?” Rogers tilts his head.

“Well, sure, he’s a bit chatty when he stops by.”

“He is?” A brow arches curiously and ripples his forehead. “I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re so easy to talk to. Even with someone like him.”

“Erm, I guess. I just try to see the positive. You know. Um, I don’t mean to presume because I can’t begin to know but I know Peggy loves you. And you have a good job and you can fix this, Mr. Rogers. You could try counselling or I don’t know. Like I said, I don’t know much,” you shrug.

“We did counselling,” he picks up the mug and blows the steam away, inhaling the scent. “She stormed out of that too. We’ve tried a lot of things. A second honeymoon, a vow renewal, everything.” He looks down and his shoulders slump. He looks tiny even though he’s a big man.

“I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“You didn’t,” he inhales and pushes his shoulders straight. “You’re right, I can do something. I can put myself first. I think... I think I need to look into leaving.”

You blink. You’re speechless. It feels like too much. Not his suggestion, just that he’s saying it to you. You’re fine getting him coffee and sorting his schedule but you haven’t been trained for this.

“You should do what’s best for you, sir.”

He nods and tastes the tea. “It’s good, Rose,” He sets the cup down. “Thanks. You’re... you’re too good to me.”

“It’s just tea. I’ll let you enjoy it in peace and I gotta get back to it.” You smile. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Will do,” he utters glumly.

You slowly turn away and stride out. You feel a tugging in your stomach. Like guilt. You feel bad leaving him like that. Yet, you don’t know what else you can do for him. Missie would know. She always knows how to make things better. Maybe you could ask her but it’s a long story.

Hm.

You take out your phone and open up the conversation. You giggle at the kitten pictures she sent you last night. It takes several attempts to get it right; ‘hey, Miss, what would you do for someone going through a break-up? Tryna do something nice. Thx <3’

You’re sure she’ll come up with something, even without all the details. You tuck your phone away and turn back to your screen. As you do, an email pings into Mr. Rogers’ inbox.

You click on it and open the attachment. The legal letterhead has your blood cold. Before you can react, you hear Mr. Rogers exclaim.

Oh no, he’s already seen it. Divorce papers.

#steve rogers #dark steve rogers #dark!steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #series #drabble #au #bad bosses #captain america #mcu #marvel #avengers #code of conduct

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wolfish-trickster · 5 months ago

Text

Imagine....

Hanging out with Rafayel and his friends in a summer cottage of sorts for holidays. One day you make your friends cookies. As you walk around the house giving everyone a taste you walk up to Raf's art studio door. You hear voices. As gently as you could you opened the door a bit to see inside. Rafayel is painting something while talking with one of his friends.

"I don't think she'd like this" his friend says.

"Oh please, of course she will. Everyone likes it when they get a painting of themself!"

"Not everyone is as vain as you."

"Tell me one time when I asked someone to paint me. No? Exactly!"

"Okay, fine, I take it back. I still think this won't make her fall for you."

"You're talking from your years long experience of being single."

While they were bickering your chest tightened. It was no secret you liked your artistic friend. Well, it was only a secret to him. Now that you thought about it, he did start being nicer to you. Complimenting you more often. Sitting a bit closer to you. Asking your opinions. With hope in your heart you glanced at the portrait he was working on. It wasn't finished yet but it was beautiful. If there was anything Rafayel was good at it was painting the nature. The only thing that wasn't so beautiful to you was the person standing in the middle of the beach he was painting. It was only a sillhoutte so far, a blob of colour with no detail. But even then you could see it wasn't you. The girl in the painting lookedmuch more beautiful, even with the lack of details. Besides, you could tell he was just finishing up her hair, which was nothing like yours. Not only the colour but also the length was slightly off.

With a broken heart and tears in your eyes you closed the door and left the plate of cookies on the floor. Your friends asked you what was wrong. Why you were crying. You only told them you want to be alone.

The sand beneath your naked feet was slowly turning cold. And yet you still walked. The setting sun coloured the entire sea red. You looked behind your shoulder. Rafayel's summer house was tiny in the distance. You've walked far enough and yet you're only half calmed. You'll be fully okay after the same trip back.

Suddenly a crow croaked up above. The same strange crow you've been noticing the entire holiday. In a place where all crows went extinct.

"Weird," you thought and turned to walk back to where you came. If it wasn't for two masked men, twins, blocking your path.

In a blink of an eye they got a hold of your arms and engulfed you in deep red smoke. Once it cleared and you broke yourself away from them you ran into another obstacle in form of a man. This one wore no mask. Only stern red eyes.

"Well, we finally meet, kitten."

There were lots of things you didn't know. You didn't know who were the twins that took you, nor the reason behind it. You didn't know this man. Especially the meaning behind his strange words.

You also didn't know Rafayel wasn't painting some other girl. He was painting you if you were a Lemurian, with traditional Lemurian attire and hairstyle. And you definitelly didn't know all of your friends with a panicked Rafayel were searching for you, only finding a couple of black crow-like feathers in the sand surrounding your bracelet.

Part 2

#rafayel x reader #love and deepspace rafayel #lads rafayel #love and deepspace sylus #sylus x reader #lads sylus

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chrispotatos · 6 months ago

Text

Pay attention- chris sturniolo

Dad!chris

warning: angst (if you squint), fluff.

summary: your son gets hurt when you were off doing something else and chris gets mad at you.

A/n: it gets harder to think of a title everyday

2:30 pm

it was the afternoon and i was on the couch, delicately painting my nails; a shade of pale pink. it was a rare moment of relaxation while also oddly quiet. around this time my son ryder finds somewhere to take a nap so it wasn't too unsettling.

that was up until i hear a thud and a startling cry come from the kitchen. my head snaps up and i drop the nail polish rushing into the kitchen, where i found my son ryder lying on the tiled floor crying.

next to him was a empty cup and i was trying to make sense of what just happend but couldn't.

"oh sweetie, are you ok?" my voice trembled in worry. i knealt down beside him scooping the 4yr old into my arms, his tiny legs straddling my lap and he cried into my shoulder.

"im gonna text daddy okay?" i reassure him, rubbing his back.

i carry him back to the couch where my phone was. i send chris a text explaining everything that happend. and he was now on his way home.

"how'd this happen ryder?" i questioned, rubbing his back to soothe him. it hushed his crys for the most part. but he was still sniffling and hiccuping, trying to calm down from all the pain he endured from the fall.

"i wanted to get you water.." he confessed and that made me feel more guilt then i already did.

"but why baby?"

"i wanted to supwise you" he sniffled lifting his head off my shoulder to look at me. i place a kiss on his forehead nodding my head, understanding the small gesture he tried to perform for me and failed.

I lay him down on the couch and put his head against a small throw pillow that was on the sofa then putting on his favorite movie to make him feel a bit better.

3:08 pm

the front door opens in a swift movement and slams shut.

"what happend? is he alright?" chris' voice sharp with worry, he made his way over to the couch kneeling infront of where our son was laying, brushing some hair out of his face.

"he slipped trying to get water for me" i explained my eyes pleading for him to understand. "im sorry, i know i should've been watching him closely"

Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he lifted ryder up into his arms, checking him for any marks.

"he could've seriously hurt himself" he muttered in a accusing tone.

my shoulders slump guilt washing over me all over again. I was distracted and caught up doing my own thing so much so that i was unaware of the danger unfolding just a room away.

chris laid the 4yr old back onto the couch letting the boy engross himself back into the movie he was watching.

"what were you doing anyway?" he questioned me, crossing his arms.

"my nails.." i admit unable to meet his gaze. "really" he scoffed.

"do you not care about him enough to just watch him. you can't just 'get distracted'. " his voice starts to raise "cause what would you have done if something worse happened"

"i know it was bad. imagine how i felt having to see him laid out on the ground.. in pain- it fucking killed me" my voice cracked, and my breath hitched in my throat, that's when tears started falling from my eyes. chris just narrow his eyes at me, shaking his head in disbelief.

i get off the couch and walk to our shared room, ashamed of myself and what happend to ryder made me feel like a terrible mother.

5:56 pm

i was laying in bed, watching tv still feeling anxious about the small argument me and chris shared earlier. my sadness and worry subsided to exhaustion.

i hear a small knock on the door, my eyes go follow where the noise came from and are met with chris' figure standing in the door frame.

he enters the room "can i talk to you?" he asked softly, approching the bed and sitting.

to that i sit up from my laying position and prop myself up against the pillows.

"i wanted to apologize for yelling at you" he started off. sighing, looking to my face searching for any emotions that might show how i was feeling.

"and i know you love him just as much as me. but in that moment i was scared and i was just mad at you and I'm sorry for that." he added

i took a deep understanding to his words and where he was coming from. to be fair i would have reacted the same way

"I'm sorry too, i should've been watching him." i mumbled.

"it's okay" chris reaches his arms out and wraps them around me. I lean into him, feeling the warmth and comfort of his embrace.

"you're a great mom y/n dont let this one incidentmake you think otherwise. and I'm sure ryder agrees" he rubs my back soothingly as steady reassurance, giving me a kiss on my head. we stay like this for a while, wrapped in eachothers arms finding solace in the simple act of being together.

"i ordered pizza. you want some?" the random question made a giggle fall from my lips. "I would love some pizza"

I pull away from the hug and place a kiss on his lips the action being reciprocated, and now we were off to the kitchen.

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fluff #matt x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #mattsturniolo #chris x reader #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo fanfic #christopher sturniolo x reader

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mikgreo · 8 months ago

Text

Gojo punishing his puppies!

satoru gojo, you, and his bff 🩷

nsfw minors dni.

au! where everyone is happy no one dies and theyre happy forever

satoru will always be here for his cute bunny!! even if his cute bunny decides to not be so innocent and turn out a cock hungry whore for his bsf, but thats okay! he can always punish you both. ♡

pairings: best friend! gojo x bimbo! reader , geto x bimbo! reader , geto x gojo

characters are probably ooc for the sake of the fic!! sorry..but hot men!!

Warnings: 18+ ,use of pet names, porn with the tiniest of plot, manhandling, degradation, threesome, oral (fem receiving), p/v sex, anal (masc recieving) pussy slapping, spitting, choking, slightest praise if you squint, virginity loss, hickeys, missionary, backshots. bimbo reader, lmk if i missed anything.

NOT PROOF READ SORRY!!😔

You knocked loudly on Gojo’s apartment door. You tried to clean up your runny nose, you did, and you also tried to stop your eyes from tearing up, but you couldn’t, not after you woke up extra early to get all cute for your boyfriend ex. you were supposed to go to a cute date just you and him, but instead you stood there like an idiot as you watched your own boyfriend make out with a girl outside the cafe you were supposed to meet him at.

you decided to show up early to surprise him. Instead he ended up surprising you. You didn’t bother confronting him. instead, you blocked him on everything. you didn’t know what to do, so you called your best friend.

“toru?” your voice clearly trembling from your crying.

“You okay, y/n? What happened, you sound shaken up-”

“Toru! are you home? need you really bad right now..please.” you didn’t know why you were calling him, it isn’t that serious.

“Yeah. ‘m home. friend’s over though, you sure you still w’na come?” he said, sounding unbothered. it was probably something about your boyfriend

“mhm. be there in 5.” you hung up. you wondered, was his friend cute?

here you were, infront of gojo’s door.

“Hey pretty, come in.” he hugged you slightly before you walked in

you bent over to kick your shoes off at the entrance. you only came to cuddle and let him comfort you like no other.

“ m’ so sorry im coming out of nowhere.” you smiled as you looked up at gojo through your lashes.

he was always taller than you maybe by a couple feet. you always admired his beauty, how his hair was so soft and perfectly layered. his blue eyes, the way he looked at you, a way he never looked at anyone else. his pale skin, and his pink perfect li- what am i thinking. you stopped before you got too carried away.

“dont worry sweetheart, its nothing. come, let me introduce you to suguru.” he took your wrist gently and pull you into the living room.

suguru? you thought. a part of you wished he looked as good as gojo.

“Suguru, this is y/n. Y/n this is Geto. I think its funny how both of my best friends have never met eachother.” he let out a slight laugh. so cute you thought.

“hi geto kun.” you gave him a bright smile. slightly crossing one arm to your other to press your boobs together “its nice to meet you!!” you giggled. he was cute, just like gojo, maybe he could be your next boyfriend.

“no need to call me by my last name, feel free to call me suguru, its nice to meet you too.”

he smiled back at you. he didn’t say much but you didn’t mind. he had a soft voice, higher than gojo, but still a tiny bit deep. it made you feel fuzzy.

“go ‘head and sit with suguru, im getting you a jacket. you need to cover up.” he glanced down at your outfit.

you didnt think you were wearing anything bad. a white crop top, tied around your neck by strings, with a jean miniskirt, leg warmers and of course your white toes.

yes maybe you were showing your breasts to much.. and nipples, and stomach. and too much thighs and legs. but you thought it was fine, a part of you wanted to be seen like this.

“hi suguru kun!! watchu watching?” you skipped over to him, making your boobs jiggle on purpose. you caught him looking.

“i dunno, some action movie. you gonna come sit with me and watch the movie, pretty?” he said tilting his head slightly, smiling, while patting the empty space on his left.

you were surprised at his boldness, maybe it was because gojo wasn’t here you thought. you paid no mind and went along with it.

“mhm, dont mind if i do.” you sat next to him, your plush thighs touching him. he was about to place his hand on your thigh until..

“hey, y/n here. i got u some pants and a hoodie.” he was clearly ticked off, jealous maybe?

“I dont wanna!!” you whined, as you got up. feeling geto’s eyes on your butt.

“mm.. theyre to big anyway toru!! and its so hot.” you hugged him as a way to convince him into letting you keep what you had on.

“atleast put the hoodie on, bunny.”

“why should i, hm?” you gave him a sly smile.

“so you don’t seem like an attention seeking whore to my friend.” he flicked your forehead

“ughh, fine.” you were definitely taking this off later.

gojo stared at you looking annoyed, “weren’t you just crying?”

oh. right, you remembered the whole reason you even came here.

“oh yeah, i forgot. I cought shin kissing some other bitch in-front of the cafe he was supposed to be taking me to, its nothing though, you made me feel better.” you smiled at him before grabbing a beer from the fridge. you chugged it before adding on, “i blocked him on everything though.”

“I dont get why you didn’t do that from the start.” he said flicking your forehead. again.

“ouch!!” you pouted

a few hours went by, you had gotten to know geto a little more, and you were pretty drunk, they both scolded you the whole time but you didnt care, you wanted to forget about your ex.

it was around 10pm when gojo decided to say..

“oh yeah, suguru is staying the night, so if you wanted to stay you might as well.” he placed his hand on your head before getting up from the floor where you were all sitting on from the previous board game.

“ i was .. hiccup .. plan- planning on it anyway.” you glanced over at geto, who was clearly staring at you.

you smiled at him before crawling over to him.

“hey. you’re cute..” you tilted your head and smiled. just looking at him made you feel fuzzy..

“hey. you’re drunk. come on get off before satoru comes back.”

“relaxxx~ hes gone! it’ll.. hiccup … take a while.” you scooted closer to him. lips ghosting over his

“dontcha wanna kiss me?”

“cant, even if i wanted too, pretty. your toru’s girl.”

you pouted at this. you didn’t like his rejection.

you quickly got up and rushed to find gojo, who was in his room getting blankets and pillows.

“toruuu!!!” you barged in

“yes bunny? whats up.”

you went up to him and pushed him onto the bed, half lidded eyes tracing over his features. you cupped his cheek.

“did you tell suguru we’re dating?”

“no, i didn’t, princess. why?” he raised a brow attempting to get you off, cleary failing.

“mm.. he wont let me kiss him. he said he cant.. because im ‘toru’s girl’, mm.” your finger tracing over his lips, legs closing in tightly at his waist.

he doesn’t look to happy, you thought.

“y/n, get off.” he said trying to push you off.

“why are you mad? you jealouss?” you were still on him, not going anywhere. you giggled at this.

“no, stop acting like a slut and just act normal for once.” his voice was stern. and harsh. he never talked to you like this, he was really mad.

you unconsciously started to tear up, maybe it was your drunk self, or your horny self, but you knew how to manipulate gojo into giving you what you want. what is it that i want?

“toru, m’ sorryyy..i love you okay? only you..im sorry for this.” you braced yourself. god you hoped your drunk self wasnt going to ruin everything.

“for wha-” gojo quickly being cut off.

there you were. cupping your best friends cheeks and making out with him, inviting your own tongue into his mouth. you grabbed his hand and placed it onto your waist. pushing him deeper into the mattress, gojo now laying down completely.

you pulled away to catch your breath.

“y/n. what the fuck are you doing?” he was confused but part of him liked this. he could never admit it right now though.

“satoru… im tired of pretending i dont like you. i dont wanna ruin anything but, hiccup..i love you. more than best friends.” you kissed his cheek, the corners of his mouth, his forehead and neck.

“y/n, your just drunk talking, you dont mean it.”

“m’ not. i mean it.”

“you’re a fucking whore.” was the last thing he said before yelling at geto.

“yo suguru, come here!” he manhandled you to a position where he was on top now.

“ya called?” geto came in.

gojo leaned into your ear whispering, “since you wanna be a slut, make a show for suguru, okay?”

“toru, i want you. i need you please..hiccup.. pleaseee.” you had no idea what was making you say this but you guessed it was just the horniness making you talk.

“suguru, your gonna fuck her, okay?” gojo glanced over at geto.

“with pleasure.” geto took his shirt off in one go and untied the strings of his sweats.

“t-toru! wait…”

“hm?”

“i want you..and sugu, to eat me out.” you covered your face with your arms.

“is that so, princess?” gojo grabbed the back of your knees and pressed them against your shoulders.

“hold on tight for me, ‘kay bunny?” he flashed you a smile. “suguru, ya ready?”

“let’s see what our puppy tastes like gojo ♡” suguru said kneeling down next to gojo spreading kisses down your thighs and tummy, putting your panties to the side and bunching your skirt up to your stomach.

“h..hurry.. need it, now, pl-please!” you were getting impatient for their touch. you felt like you were about to explode.

almost immediately gojo lapped at your cunt on command rubbing his finger up and down your hole while occasionally sticking his tongue in while suguru sucked on your puffy clit.

“n-ngh! a..hah! sug..toru! more more more..!” you began to blabble already to fucked out from barely any action.

“taste so fuckin’ good, bunny.” satoru said sticking his digit inside your weeping and needy hole. “look how wet she is, suguru ♡” he said pulling out his finger pulling it up so geto could see.

“mm..she’s so pretty, all wet glistening in her juices.” geto grabbed gojo’s wrist and pulled his middle finger up to his mouth, sucking off all your juices.

gojo blushed at this.

“tou..touch me, touch me mor- hah! ngh yes.yesyesyes!!” your head rolling back into the mattress, and you swore, there was stars on the ceiling.

gojo stuck in 3 digits inside your leaking pink hole. “gotta get you niceee and ready, love. don’t want me and sugu-chan hurting your poor cunt do we now?”

he giggled seeing your flushed and confused expression. gojo moved out of the way leaving geto to eat you like a starved man. “h-hah!! wha.. you? sugu?? cant..take..both cant..at once! nghh, suguru!”

“im sure you can, be a good girl and let us stretch you out, hm?” gojo grabbing geto, who wouldve probably never let go of your pretty cunt, by the hair to get him off and fully undressed.

“but before that, im gonna get suguru to stretch you out okay?” he goes to your side caressing your cheek. “you’d like that wouldn’t you? you just love sugu-chan so much you want him to stretch you out nice and good, hm?”

“t-toru!! cant… i..im a ..” you hesitated. fuck it. “virgin! virgin, im a virgin toru toru… ngh!” you could barely talk with how geto’s fingers curved and scissored across your gummy walls.

he laughed. “pfftt, you act like a slut and you’ve never even gotten any action, you’re such a whore.” gojo wrapped his hand around your neck choking you softly.

“Suguru, you okay with fucking a virgin dumb?” gojo flashed him his fangs as he smiled, softly slapping your cheek.

“i’d be more than happy.” he pushed your legs further onto your shoulders aligning himself at your entrance.

he spit on your cunt and gave it a slap, earning a muffled moan from you as gojo bullied his tongue into your mouth.

“breathe, ‘kay? and relax, im ‘bout to go in.” he slapped the side of your thigh to make sure you heard him.

“mm-mhm!!” you mumbled, gojo finalizing the kiss by biting your bottom lip, kissing your forehead after. “get ready, baby. it wont hurt, if you just welcome him in ♡”

geto slowly pushed in your tight little hole.

“n-ngh! hah..big..big!!!” you looked down, realizing this was the first time you saw geto’s dick. it was thick, you would have to guess it was around 6 inches from what youve seen in those porn videos.

“suguru, don’t go easy on her, dont hold back. its her punishment for being such a whore.” gojo said finding his way into the crook of your neck giving you hickeys.

“sorry, princess.. hold your breathe for a sec yea?”

you were confused at suguru’s request, but you complied too drunk to understand. and suddenly-

plap!!!

“F-FUUUCK!!. ngh..ya….hah.. ow, sugu.. too much.. too-t- big!!” you struggled against the two boy’s hold on you.

suguru began to slip in out of you, occasionally stopping to bottom out all his length inside your cunt.

“so! soo good. more!! faster sugu please!~” crossing your eyes, your whole body moving up and down from his thrusts.

“can..feel you! in my tum..my!!..mm” you were cock drunk.

“toru..touch..touch me!!” you looked at him with heart filled eyes, you wanted him to touch you too.

“such a brat. at least say please, ya dog. so nasty and needy.” you slapped your cheek making you shamefully moan. “knew you’d like that, fuckin’ whore.” he slapped your pussy occasionally rubbing your clit.

“yes!! yes so good! toru, sugu! im..im..close closecloseclose..!!” you lolled your tongue out, eyes teary, pools of drool coming down your tongue.

“ya on..ngh..the pill, doll?” suguru said while getting sloppier with his thrusts.

“yeah, she is.” gojo speaking for you, being too fucked out to respond.

“can i c-come..inside, satoru?” geto said glancing over at gojo, him taking notice of geto’s sweaty trembling body knowing he was about to burst.

“go for it, didn’t know ya was a fuckin’ dirty slut just like y/n.” gojo walked over behind geto, biting on his ear lobe lovingly. teasingly.

“fu..fuckk….cant!! cant hold..” geto gave his last thrusts, shooting warm ropes in your cunt.

“hhaa!! so warmm.. ngh..!! good..”

“creamin’ all over suguru’s cock huh, princess? just like the fucking slut you are.”

gojo pushed geto down, making him shift his weight on your tiny body, bending him over making sure geto was still inside you.

“sat-toru? what the fuck.. hey..he-ngh!~ fuck..” geto protested, but getting interrupted by gojo spitting down his ass, wetting his hole.

“punishment for being cock-whores, sugu-chan and y/n ♡”. gojo sticked two fingers inside geto’s warm unopened hole.

“sugu…again..please! so ..horny.” you said cupping his cheeks, lips meeting. eventually sloppily making out as geto started to begin his slow thrust.

you felt his dick twitch as he moaned in your mouth possibly from gojo’s fingers.

“sato…ruu! slow down, cant..focus!! ngh.” geto too overstimulated to concentrate on your pleasure.

“lemme take over then, ‘kay?” he kissed geto down his spine, slowly pushing in the pink tip of his cock inside geto.

“f-fuck!! i..nghhh!!” geto trembled eyes never leaving yours. never breaking eye contact.

gojo wasnt even all the way in when he started to forcefully thrust into geto’s poor hole, making geto move harsher inside you.

“fuckk, so tight yeah baby?” gojo grabbed geto’s hips getting better grip as he slammed into him, projecting his strength to geto, thrusting into your poor overstimulated hole.

“slow..slow down!! suguu…cant take!! it..” you felt like you were going to break having twice the weight on your legs now. barely remembering how to breathe and talk.

“toru!! so ..good~ ahh.. wait!! slow..down!! y/n cant take it..” geto trying to get up forgetting he was leaning half his weight onto you, but immediately being shoved back down by gojo.

“mmm!! m sorry prin-cess!” he shoved his face into your neck moaning into it. you felt his drool slip down.

“..go—ood!! good….mytummy! cant..its com…ing!!”

“hah…look! the bitch can’t even fuckin’ talk no more, she’s so fucked out.” gojo laughed at you.

“toru, just..go sl-ah!!-lower, pl..please!!” geto cried out, as his body was holding on tightly to you.

“ouch..sugu!! too tight!!” you took notice on his grip on you, thinking he was about to break your bones.

you all were clearly about to explode, on the edge of cumming. you couldn’t take anymore.

“come on suguru! just cus im fucking you dont mean you can forget all about our girl.” he gave a harsh slap to geto’s ass making him remember to keep thrusting hard into your poor cunt.

“nyaa!! cummin…d-daddy, toru!!!” how cute. gojo thought hearing you say that, already trained to say his name while cumming despite him not even laying a finger on you.

“me ..too. ‘m cumming satoru!” geto put his hands on both sides of you getting up slightly to give you room.

“fuckk…on the count of three yea? ya slut’s gonna come for me, ‘kay?” gojo fastening his thrusts, also making geto unconsciously move his hips into your pussy.

“one…”

“two…”

“nghhh!!! toru, suguru!!!” you squirted all over geto’s dick and stomach.

“fu..ck. toruuu..y/n.” geto moaned softly as his body slowly gave up, shooting his last load into your cunt.

“atta’ girlll, squirt fa’ sugu-chan.. so proud of you suguru.” he planted kissed down geto’s spine and back, also cumming in geto’s little abused hole.

gojo pulled out, geto slowly following behind.

you curled into a ball, trying to regain your regular breathing rhythm, about to pass out.

“we’re not done yet, puppies. ♡” gojo said as he wiped the sweat off his forehead, white hair sticking to his forehead.

“we’re going all night.” he smirked.

i hope u guys liked it!! lmk if u want pt. 2 :33 this was my first time hehe im sorry if its bad🥲

#i hope you like it #smut #jjk x reader #jjk gojo #jjk #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojo smut #geto smut #geto x reader #geto x reader smut #gojo x reader #gojo x reader smut #jjk x you #gojo x geto #gojo x female reader #geto x female reader #first fic #minors dni #mikgreo writes

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