#okay I'll admit I am intrigued by a couple of these

[the---hermit]

30|10|2023

Today marks the start of my new self care journey with my dear friend @oneanxiousstudybuddy, for which I am very happy. In the morning I managed to study a but, but I'll admit I struggled a bit with staying focused. I had planned to get some more study done in the afternoon but my dentist appointment left me exhausted so I took the rest of the afternoon to wrap myself in a blanket and rest. My adventures with the dentist turned out to be more painful than I expected, and the anesthesia fucked me up like never before. I couldn't feel half of my face and i was struggling a bit with blinking with one eye, but in the end it was all okay. Hopefully the tooth that was hurting is going to be fine now.

cozy hobbit autumn activities and productivity:

read first thing in the morning

started working on the 19th lecture of my power practices and men theories class

started reading the critical article on Paradise Lost I have to study for my English class (I picked one focused on the figure of Satan, because I found the depiction to be very interesting, and I am intrigued to know what kind of impact it has had on readers and critics)

helped my dad with groceries

relaxed with a couple of podcasts and mindless games

my dad is making one of my favourite soups for dinner which is neither an activity or productivity but it's hobbit-y and cozy and it makes me happy

today's self care:

went once again to the dentist

wore a nice outfit that made me feel cozy and good about myself

took the afternoon off and created a cozy space in my room to relax

📖: Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

[wolfsbanesparks]

do you have any fics you'd personally reccomend?? Any DC ones or ones you think deserve more attention?

Okay so it took me a few days to find some fics I wanted to rec because I'm the worst at remembering to bookmark fics I like.

Most of these are Shazam because he's my favorite. But I'll include a couple others for good measure. If you want more recs I can definitely find some more just let me know!

The Path of a Lightning Bolt by kathkin

This series of stories is about how dceu Billy would work with the Justice League and how they deal with finding out he's a teenager. It is so heartfelt and genuinely funny with some of the best characterization of movie Billy, Wally, Cyborg and John Stewart that I've ever read.

I Am Not A Prince by Oka_Hills1232

This I an amazing story about Black Adam naming Billy as his heir, thus the heir to Kahndaq's throne, kidnapping him in the process in a misguided attempt to take care of him. There is such amazing world building about the Champions, the gods, and magic in general. Beautiful prose, fun action, and so much intriguing lore.

A Christmas Peril by The_Dawn_Knight

This is a much darker fic about Billy, Damian, and Jon overcoming their extreme childhood traumas while dealing with complicated family relationships, evil schemes, and villains who want them dead. Definitely read the tags before jumping in, but it is a really good read. There are multiple plot lines that are woven together so well and there's a lot of great character introspection and action. It's pretty long and still on going but definitely worth the time.

Like Going Through Hell on a Sunday by probablyanxious

This is about Jason Todd bringing Damian to Gotham while on the run from the League of Shadows. There's lots of brotherly bonding, family angst, and fast paced action. Along the way Jason also picks up a stray Billy and inadvertently pulls him into the family. Definitely recommend this to batfam fans!

(There’s a sister story told mainly through Bruce's POV of these events called My Hope Has Faded Through the Years that I also recommend)

Brilliant (like a confession) by kathkin

This is about Lois Lane learning that Clark Kent is Superman by admitting to Superman that she has a crush on Clark Kent. This is literally one of the best Lois stories I've ever read and is my personal favorite version of the identity reveal between them.

And lastly

The Magic Word by zorilleerrant

This fic was actually gifted to me through Fandom Trumps Hate last year and I absolutely adore it (and all of the authors other works too). Its about Marcus Sun aka Monkey Prince and Billy having to deal with zombies. There's identity reveals, amazingly funny dialogue, trans rep, and more! Theres some minor gore (because zombies) but its not an angsty apocalypse story. It's s lot of fun and deserves more love!

[one-flower-one-sword]

what's your favorite part of TGCF, and what about it do you like so much? ignore me if you've shared this before

omg it's been so long since you sent this ask, I am so sorry T_T I was really grateful to for you sending it, but stuff kept coming up and I simply did not have the emotional energy, and also did not want to give a half-hearted reply. that said I often struggle at articulating exactly why I like something, but I'll try!!

okay first thing that comes to mind when I think of why I like TGCF so much is that I really enjoy MXTX's writing style - of course, what I read was the English translation but I assume her style still comes across. I find the way the novel is written both very easy and very engaging to read. I was never bored and on the contrary had a really hard time putting down each volume so as not to read it all in one go. All the emotions came across really well, the novel succeeded both in making me laugh and making me cry. That's another thing I like about it, that with this story you get the whole range of comedy, action, romance, and horror. It's rare that a story manages to both incorporate and balance these at times contrasting aspects so well.

I also really liked how poetic the writing was at times, and how both philosophical and political concepts and ethics were woven into the plot and expressed through the characters.

Speaking of, I enjoyed all the characters so much. They're so well-rounded and feel so real, and there are so many interesting side characters. Jun Wu is a fantastic antagonist and Hualian are such an engaging pairing. I love both Xie Lian and Hua Cheng as individual characters as well as a couple - right from the start you can tell how much they simply enjoy each other's company, and their romance is just… it really moved my heart.

As for a favorite scene… there are so many!!! it's really hard to pick. I love Xie Lian meeting Hua Cheng “for the first time” at the beginning of the story and being so immediately intrigued with him, it's such a peak romantic encounter. I also love the reveal in the caves, even though (or because) parts of it are so heartbreaking, since it's rare to see Hua Cheng so vulnerable and emotional. I enjoy angsty moments like that a lot, I have to admit….

If I have to pick a single favorite moment, it'd be the battle between Hua Cheng and Jun Wu in Vol 8. First of all, super engaging fight scene, love that. Also epic as fuck!! like them fighting on top of The Heaven-Crossing Bridge that shakes every time their swords clash from how powerful the blows are while Hua Cheng's wraith butterflies face off against the vengeful spirits below? damn.

Then the delicious angst of Xie Lian being absolutely terrified for Hua Cheng, especially when Jun Wu starts to ruthlessly take advantage of Hua Cheng's disability*… and then it all culminating in Xie Lian still defying Jun Wu and sticking to what he's always known is right, and then ending in Hua Cheng's sacrifice, another peak romantic scene that had my heart race and made me cry so many tears. All of it exceeded my expectations for that final confrontation, I was just completely emotionally satisfied.

*Not gonna go into it here in detail since I've already posted it about several times and more in depth, but given the topic of this ask I can't not mention how intrigued I was by the way Hua Cheng navigates their world while disabled, the way he can compensate for it in some ways but not in others. It's a not insignificant part of why I love him as a character so much.

Last but not least the novel accompanied me all through last year and the beginning of this one and got me through some tough times. more than that, it made me take up meta and fanfic writing again after a long creative drought, and I will always look at it fondly and with gratitude for that.

hope this turned out a satisfying answer! what's your favorite part of the novel? :3c

[cookinguptales]

I will say that I've been lying down quite a bit the past few days just because uh. Strong dislocation risk.

So, to please tumblr, I've started listening to Malevolent. Podcasts are an okay way to stay sane when you can't move much, lmao.

Thoughts so far under a cut, because to my knowledge, only two of you care about this lmao.

So far... I'll admit my feelings are mixed. I'm a couple episodes into the second season, I think, and... well, I still don't care much for cosmic horror or creature features. I'll admit it's just kind of a style of horror that I find a little boring. Every time they start describing the new monster or Lovecraftian cult or cosmic horror, I'll admit that my eyes glaze over a bit.

So uh. With the caveat that the actual plot is not doing that much for me at all, I'm not like... okay, if I were on my own I probably would've tuned out by now. lmao. But I'm not, so I'm pulling steadily through. I don't hate it or anything. That said, it does struggle from some of the same pitfalls as other indie horror podcasts, and I do think it's worsened a bit by the creator trying to do everything himself here.

I especially wish that he had not decided to do every voice himself, because as someone with hearing difficulties, it makes it really hellish to figure out what's going on sometimes. lmao. I usually rely on really distinct voices to tell people apart in podcasts, and I mean. That's not a thing here. Moreover, because he often tries to disguise his voice with accents or digital effects... well, that does not always make the voicework easy to understand. I've had to rely kind of heavily on the transcripts, so thank god they're there.

While I think he does have writing strengths and weaknesses (it's... not always easy to keep track of what's going on) I am interested to see where the characters go. I'm not... quite sure I follow the logic for why John gained selfhood while Arthur was in a coma, but I'm willing to just go with it. I do kind of wish that we were working with a somewhat expanded timeline, though... I think at times it's like "HE'S GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO HIS FACE..." and I'm like "sir, it's been like 48 hours." But. You know. Again, I'll just go with it.

I am intrigued by the idea of writing a pairing inhabiting the same body (and......... it would not be the first time, if I'm being entirely honest) and I think that's kind of what's got me holding on lmao. I do also like the concept of a creature struggling against his old self in a very literal way. That sort of bid for earned humanity is always interesting to me, though I'll admit I haven't listened to enough of s2 to have thoughts on how it's playing out.

So every time I'm like "oh... okay... they're being chased by a monster again..." I just tell myself "yes, but you might get to write something very weird and fucked up" and that does help.

To be clear, I'm not saying the style of horror here is necessarily a bad thing. It gives old radio serial vibes sometimes, like they're gonna have to fight the eldritch ghost pirates with Little Orphan Annie or something, and I'm sure some people enjoy that very much. It's just a style of horror that I tend to bounce off of even in other types of media. (Like I am still firmly of the opinion that The Descent was scarier before the monsters showed up.) I suppose I just feel more strongly affected by horror that's more like... just kind of unsettling and uncanny and spooky. The monster-y action stuff does less for me personally. Like.. I'm not worried about Shub-Niggurath showing up in my apartment, frankly. I'm just like "yeah but that's not real."

Spooky, uncanny, very personal horror that is just disquietingly close enough to a reality that can't quite be explained is more my style, I think. I'm realizing that as I listen to this podcast.

Other things I've thought to myself while listening to this podcast:

SHUB-NIGGURATH IS A GIRL. It was even in that book they read out loud in the first episode. But John and Arthur keep calling her "he" and I'm like "that's sexist, women can be unfathomable eldritch beasts TOO. god forbid women do ANYTHING."

me, halfway through the second episode of s2: sir are you going to make us wander through the entirety of dante's inferno or just the seventh circle? because that was a very long book?? we've already done the violet/blood-red lake, self-harm woods, the burning plain, and the cliff, and I'm a little worried about that allusion to ice at the bottom! I don't want to go all the way down, lmao.

the first time they mentioned the king in yellow I immediately imagined the man in the yellow hat and I am so sorry but I still keep thinking of him. and also occasionally this man. it kind of... makes him less scary...

it's truly embarrassing how much it drove me crazy until I remembered that song at the beginning of episode 10 was "stardust" lmao. which... I suppose is probably some kind of cosmic horror pun...

I know that I was supposed to be really horrified when John took control over Arthur's hand but literally all I thought was "oh, I'm sure the fandom has made good use of that."

like I was in marvel comics fandom for years before the movies came out, I am well acquainted with monsterfucking fic.

look I'm not here to criticize you, john, but your other half seems to be running a really inefficient cult here.

how did you guys not notice the wraith following you for like six episodes. that one really seemed to come out of nowhere. like... did she hitchhike with them?? go in the caves with them?? swim behind the boat?? or was she just like psychically watching them and then teleported???? I am literally so confused about the wraith thing. I get that they wanted Arthur's kindness towards a "monster" to save him later, I get the themes and motifs here, and I get that they needed a deus ex machina, but I'm so confused about the actual mechanics of that save. it didn't help that I thought that "free her" meant like... free her spirit so she wouldn't be a wraith anymore and she could move on or something. so I had a very confusing moment like "wait, that thing is still alive??" lmao

so... anyway, yeah, I'm just kinda. hangin' on. haha. I'm here for the monsterfucking more than I am for the monster fighting, being honest with you. the monster mash more than the monster bash, if you will. but I am willing to be patient with the parts of the podcast that don't do as much for me to get more character work. hopeful on that point.

[finniestoncrane]

since you said it was okay for us to send in multiple ones i worked up the nerve to send one in for a blind date I’ll try to be as concise as I can with describing myself so apologies if this is a little long im not super great at describing myself in generalities. i trust your judgement completely. anyways!

I’m 30, bisexual, usually get mistaken for someone younger due to my size and sound of my voice, I have a couple of different chronic pain conditions but not so bad I can’t function normally, I’m friendly and kind to most people I meet but I also don’t take people’s shit you’ll definitely know if I don’t like someone i don’t really hide it that well —I’m pretty emotionally reactive is what I’m saying. I enjoy reading, some of my favorite authors and books include Edgar Allan Poe, Dracula and Alice in Wonderland (my favorite book) just to name a few, I also really enjoy audio horror dramas despite being bad with horror visually, i really enjoy engaging my brain so I kinda also really enjoy riddles and puzzle games even though my track record isn’t that great at solving them 100% of the time, I also enjoy victorian things and the period very much and my favorite holiday is Halloween! I also tend to show someone I like them no matter if it’s platonic or romantic through physical touch as long as I know they are okay with it

please don’t feel obligated to do this if you don’t feel up to it I just wanted to send in another one since your framing device is extremely adorable and fascinating to me! plus i am very curious who you’d choose for me in this situation. congratulations again finnie you deserve this so much 💚!!

💜 blind date 💜 the kitchen is now closed! 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block) a/n: you stop being so sweet or i'll have to serve you on the dessert menu ;-; 💚

"Hello, welcome to the Vill-Inn! We'll uh... take your order from over here when you're ready. Just shout! There's a weird aura over there... bit of a strange vibe. It's giving us the heebiest of jeebies."

It's not as if there's a rain cloud above him or bats circling the table, but you get what they mean when you sit down across from your date.

"Jonathan Crane, my dear. Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

He's charming, completely so. But there's something under that exterior layer, something dark and brooding. Something poetic, almost.

There are several points at the beginning of your conversation with him where you can see him wincing, but trying to hide the expression of pain on his face. It turns out to be an excellent way to open up to each other, as he divulges his chronic pain issues, most of which are the result of injuries from a certain Dark Knight.

"The suffering adds to my will for destruction, though. But I admire others who can admit to needing help, as they should. If you ever need someone to... discuss this with... I can offer some psychological comfort."

The more you reveal of yourself, the more interested he is. You can see him, teasing apart sections of your brain, of your psyche, and lapping them up with intrigue. A kind person who can react emotionally and keep people's cruelty at a distance?

"Very interesting. Tell me more."

Everything he says is accompanied by a wide and curved grin that feels mischievous more than conniving or malevolent, and the only time it really falls to one of warmth and surprise is when you reveal more about yourself, things that he finds a lot in common with.

Your choice of literature is certainly on par with his. When he delves into fiction as opposed to his psychology textbooks and research works, he would definitely opt for a gothic, melancholic terror. In fact, he has his copy of Sleepy Hollow with him.

"If you haven't read it, I can lend it to you. Returning it would be a good reason for us to meet again, no?"

He's intellectual, and enjoys problem solving. And while you admit you might not be much help on the difficult ones he can't quite get as quickly as certain, green-donning colleagues, havinng some emotional support would be just as effective. A love of horror is yet again more common ground, and his sly smile widens, his eyes lighting up, when you mention your love of Halloween. And when you notice the excitement, you reach out to place your hand on top of his. It's cold, but you warm him up, and he is grateful for the connection.

You might have read Sleepy Hollow before, but you'll take it anyway. Anything to meet up with Jonathan again.

[theink-stainedfolk]

The Beauty and The Jewel

The library was lively as usual. Customers came in and greeted Belle, who was standing on the ladder and cleaning the shelfs. Belle smiled and greeted back. This demeanor of Belle was liked by everyone in the village. Old ladies chatted with her and wished if she was their daughter or daughter in law. Belle, however, didn't have an interest in marriage. She had to take care of her old father, so she declined every offer she received.

Men in the village wanted to win her heart. Not only was she naturally beautiful, but she was also intelligent and kind hearted. But all of them also feared Gaston. He was extremely powerful and said he loved Belle. To him, Belle is the prettiest girl in town. He believed that he is every girl's dream, Belle however, didn't like him at all. Because everyone feared Gaston, no one approached Belle, except some others and they also ended up getting rejected despite showing courage.

After cleaning the shelf, Belle sat down on a table on her favorite window spot with her favorite coffee from Vanilla Delights Café, a coffee shop near her library. While reading, she saw someone out. A girl with tattered clothes and black hair with blue eyes, she had beige skin color. She was gazing inside the library, her blue eyes held admiration for the books inside. Belle waited for her to come inside, since she was standing for so long. But she never came, her eyes widened when it met Belle's, and she walked away.

It became a routine for both of them. The girl used to stare at the books, and Belle at her. Belle used to get lost in her beautiful blue eyes, and as soon as they used to gaze back at her, she used to disappear. Belle was curious. But she never got the chance to talk to her. People used to swarm around her that it was hard for her to excuse herself from each and every single one of them.

One day, Belle closed the shop for the first time. She saw a couple of sad faces returning back after seeing the 'closed' sign. Mumbling a small 'sorry' she hid inside the shop which was right in front of the library, and waited for the mystery girl to appear. As the mystery girl came and stood in front of her library, she felt her heart broken after seeing the girl. The eyes that held adoration for the books were now replaced with sadness and confusion. But the girl didn't move. She just stood and looked at the books just like how she used to.

Belle decided not to waste the chance that she got and stood beside her.

"hello!" she said, startling the mystery girl. "I've seen you here many times- ah! Wait! Please don't leave!" she said as she grabbed the hand of the retreating mystery girl. Belle apologized for suddenly grabbing her hand and asked her to stay. She took her inside the library and sat down with her on her favorite spot.

Belle smiled.  " Hello mystr- I mean.... Hello.. My name is Belle. As you know, I am the owner of this library. And I'm not creeping you out but, I've noticed you, quite a few times in front of the library. And I admit that, it intrigued me. And I would like to know. The reason for coming here daily, but never stepping inside. If you don't mind... " she said very politely.

The girl shuffled with her fingers nervously. She looked up at Belle and spoke. " I.... I.. " her voice was hoarse. "I love books... " she said after a long time. "That's great! " Belle exclaimed. " I love books too! You can come here anytime you want!"

"I.... That's the problem.... I can't read...." There was silence between them. Belle was in awe. The girl in front of her was really desperate to read despite not being able to. Belle smiled "What is your name, pretty one?"

The girl looked up and nervously replied "Bijou... I... My parents couldn't afford studies so-``''It's okay Bijou. Maybe I can help."

Bijou was confused.  "How?" "You can come here everyday. And spend some time with me. I'll teach you how to read and we can enjoy each other's company. I'll guarantee that you won't feel bored here!". Bijou was really grateful for the help.

"Don't you want anything in return?" Bijou asked. Belle laughed "No. Nothing except your time and attention." Bijou smiled and said "I can give that. But you'll have to stay away from Gaston. I hate him".  "Great!! Me too! Finally someone who hates him!`` The library felt lively once again from their laughters and chatters, that didn't seem to stop anytime soon. 

[loveisonlyforthebrave8]

okay i'm weirdly intrigued by this idea you mentioned about your ship pairings and i want to know about a few you mentioned in particular, vegaspete/kinnporsche, bellarke (girl u good?), fortpeat/prapaisky, firstkhao/raysand and if you wanna explain a few others feel free

HA! I really thought that post was just gonna float off into the tumblr ether never to be addressed again.

okay, so. i don't really know how to explain it in further detail other than to say that pete can go off and make out with porsche, or arm, or some rando and i'd be like, cool, go baby, you do you. but if vegaspete were even just a thought in vegas' head and he goes off and fucks someone else i am claws out, will fight you to the death motherfucker. anyone comes near vegas and i will literally poison them myself. it makes me jittery knowing he was such a slutty slut before pete. it's almost like i'm jealous on pete's behalf. but i guess it also doesn't help that i know probably half the men he fucked before he probably didn't even want to fuck. and that makes my head hurt. i know it's not rational. but it's where my brain goes sometimes.

and yet kinnporsche is the complete opposite. kinn is a slutty slut before porsche and i am all here for him slutting it up even when kp were getting their flirt on and trying to 'forget about their night together' i was all for him trying to rough up that little twink. but if kp is just at the looking but not touching stage and porsche goes off with someone else i'm gonna rip the other person to shreds. male? female? idgaf, i'll come for you.

bellarke. HA. am i good you ask? oh. i'm barely clinging onto my sanity. but bellarke was so much fun before it all went to shit. my bisexual queen clarke could fuck whoever she wanted (except finn because ew girl) and it did not bother me one bit. i shipped the fuck out of her and niylah, oooft. but the moment bellamy got with someone else i wanted to rip their throats out with my bare teeth. do not get me started on blecho.

fortpeat and firstkhao (i view these differently because they're real people and not characters so it's not necessarily about them being a couple, more who they are partnered with)

fortpeat. some BN and FP fans might have me destroyed for admitting this, but i would fucking murder to see peat and boss being paired up for at least one project. i think they'd work so fucking well together and their chemistry would be FIRE. but the thought of fort being paired with someone other than peat makes my tummy hurt. prapaisky might actually be my only exception actually. i don't like the thought of either of them being with anyone else.

firstkhao are the same. i've seen first paired with multiple people and i am OBSESSED with that boy. he has chemistry with literally everyone. he could flirt with a tree and i'd ship it. but the thought of khao and anyone other than first makes me sad. but their only friends characters have already started having the affect on me. i want to see sand being a slutty slut and making his sex money and making ray jealous. but the thought of ray and anyone not sand is making me antsy.

i dunno. it's a weird thing my brain does with ships/pairings. there are no rational thoughts behind it. my brain just decides one of you is okay to be a massive slut and one isn't allowed within ten feet of someone who isn't the person i want them to be with.

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

for the WIP ask game: very curious about fuffy genderfluid, christmas present for echo, catholic boarding school buffy/faith, and non-girl talk buffy and jenny. sorry I know that’s a lot but the list is all very intriguing to me!!

Send me an ask with a title that intrigues you from my list of wip's and I'll tell you something about it or post a snippet from it.

Fuffy Genderfluid:

Buffy thinks she’s about to be kissed but it never comes. When she opens her eyes again, Faith is just staring at her. “What?”

“Got distracted,” Faith says, thumbing Buffy’s cheek affectionately.

“By what?”

“By how beautiful you are.”

Buffy blushes. “You sure you weren’t just watching the TV over my head, getting distracted by…” Buffy turns her head to look at the TV. She continues, “By those two boys kissing?”

Faith frowns at her, “What show are you watching?”

“I’m watching the same thing you’re watching.”

Faith shakes her head like Buffy’s being silly. “That one,” she points to the kid with a shaved head, “is a girl. Her name is Eleven.”

“Eleven?” Buffy thinks she might like this show. Monsters and aliens or whatever aside, another girl with a shaved head? A kid with a name that doesn’t mean she’s a boy or a girl, it’s just gender neutral?

Christmas Present for Echo:

Echo is my friend and beta, and for Christmas this year we exchanged fics :) The one I wrote her was a Faith/Buffy + fake marriage story. Post-Chosen. Supernatural things are happening at a honeymoon resort, Faith and Buffy have to pose as a married couple and go undercover to slay. Angst, pining, awkwardness, and much "how do we act like we're married??" ensue :)

Catholic Boarding School Buffy/Faith:

This one is very loosely based on Bare: A Pop Opera, which is a story of two high school boys secretly in love at Catholic boarding school, set against the backdrop of their school play: Romeo and Juliet. They are, in many ways, Romeo and Juliet. Much angst and tragedy ensue. As someone who was sent to 13 years of Catholic school (of the non-boarding variety) secretly growing up queer, this musical was very formative to me haha and this fic is near and dear to my own experience.

The title of my fic "Am I Here to Damn You? Or to Help You Navigate This Maze?" is one of my favorite lines. Just...the moral questioning that you have to go through being raised in a certain faith, falling in love and being told it's wrong, and then starting to worry not only about the fate of your own soul but of the soul of someone you love so dearly. Just. Ouch??? It hurts so good. Another one of my favorite lines: "Father, we were so in love. And that's what I find so odd. Our love is pure and nothing else brought me closer to God." This musical absolutely destroys me okay???

I'm changing a lot of plot points to fit the Fuffy dynamic and the story I want to tell and tbh I haven't decided whether I'm going for that MCD tragic ending tag or if I'll rewrite. Decisions, decisions. Either way, much angst and moral questioning abound.

Non-Girl Talk Buffy and Jenny:

Summarized here but since I got asked again I suppose I can be brave and share a snippet from my VERY ROUGH draft:

Buffy’s hand stills on the doorknob, and Jenny relaxes her tone, saying the next part with more calm and less urgency. “When I was your age, I was doing the same thing.”

Buffy turns completely, her intention to leave forgotten. A myriad of emotions flit across her face, so quickly that Jenny only registers a couple of them: hope, longing, joy, hesitation. The one Buffy settles on is disbelief. “But…” She glances at Jenny’s obviously unbound chest, then back up to Jenny’s face, her cheeks pink. Asking without asking.

“When I was your age,” Jenny repeats softly.

“So, you’re trying to tell me that it’s ‘just a phase’ and I’ll get over it when I’m older?” Buffy asks, a hint of that angry, defiant Slayer returning. Jenny sees how Buffy manages to give Rupert so much trouble, and she loves her for it.

“You might,” Jenny admits. “Or you might not. I don’t know what’ll happen for you. I didn’t get over it.”

[veliseraptor]

for "give me a fanfiction trope":

soulmate au

enemies to lovers

fake dating

time travel

forced bed sharing

ooh okay let's go

soulmate au: I would have said F but I have to admit to having read a couple of them in my time so I guess D. but in principle, generally...a nope, for me. the fun thing about the pairings that I ship is that it always is inherently a little fucked up and that is what I need from it. "soulmates but that doesn't mean everything is peachy keen in terms of the relationship itself," I guess. in some ways I guess my feelings about it fit into the category of "how do you deal with the inevitable" as a character conflict.

enemies to lovers: this one is pretty much inherently A because it's me-bait from the get-go and probably if I'm searching AO3 for fic it's because either (a) the canon itself had an enemies-to-lovers arc in it that I want more of or (b) the canon had a pair of enemies I want to see enemies-to-lovers for. though I do always feel like saying I'm here for "enemies-to-lovers" is too specific, because really the core of it is that I'm here for "enemies-to-some-form-of-unexpected-intimacy and I don't necessarily need for that to be lovers-shaped, particularly if I would like them to on at least some level go on hating each other.

fake dating: C. this is one of those tropes that I will read if the premise or pairing otherwise intrigues me but will not sell a fic on its own.

time travel: A. it's like getting to do canon divergence but everyone has to experience the suffering of canon first! you can do a fix-it but keep the baggage and trauma from whatever went horribly wrong! you can explore what was possible to change and what, ultimately, wasn't, or how no choice actually leads to a good (or completely good) end! how much is (again) inevitable and how much can be changed by choice, and how much of what is inevitable is inevitable because of the character of the time traveler? it's good shit.

forced bed sharing: I'd give this one a C too, mostly because, like fake dating, it's not something that I'd read for its own sake but I can enjoy it when it's there. more broadly I am very into "forced proximity" but the bed sharing specifically is less of a draw for me. just putting two characters in a locked room would serve me just as well, and possibly better.

send me a fanfiction trope and I'll rate it

[tokyoflavor]

Current Watchlist

Dramas I'm currently watching (not all were released this year, but I like to keep things interesting ig)

I'll try and keep this as spoiler free as possible, but I do tend to reblog gifsets of scenes that may have spoilers~

My Journey to You (8/24)

I'm digging this so much! It's dark, it's atmospheric, it's moody, it's beautifully filmed! The cast are all so pretty! All the characters are really intriguing. I'm loving the most: sister Gong Zi Shang and Jin Fan's dynamics, and the second lead couple are so captivating!! [current rating: 8.5/10] Young Blood (11/42) I'm still pushing myself through this one for my man Zhang Xincheng, but something about it just doesn't give me much draw to continue watching. Ofc I will because I wanna know what's so loved about it, but I think the arc I'm on kind of loses my interest somewhat...[7/10] Killer and Healer (14/37) I'm liking this one a lot, despite not caring for Republican era dramas very much. The plot is probably nothing new, but I do like the chemistry of the main leads. If only the eng subs were a little better 😩 [8/10] I Am Nobody (1/27) okay I just started this one so I don't have much opinion on how I feel but so far I'm loving the comedy that keeps you watching for more. idk much about the ML, but he's amusing to watch, and Neo Hou looks so good 👌 [8/10]

The Long Ballad (14/49) Restarted this one as I was enjoying it before and was kind of in the mood for some Wu Lei. I actually cried watching ep 14, it was so emotional! I'm totally invested for the time being [8/10] Secret of Three Kingdoms (4/54) I picked this up for Tan Jianci ofc, but I don't really like palace historical dramas asjfsjdg SOOOO we'll see if I actually get far enough to see him in it much :| lmao [no rating yet] *suffering for my faves* Ultimate Note (2/10) I guess you could hardly say I started this seeing as it's only been 2 eps, I also kind of just.. forgot about it for a bit lol. I'm not sure if it's for me as I don't care for tomb raiding stuff but I wanted to see more of Joseph Zeng and none of his other roles rly look interesting asdsajf :/ I'll see about whether I go back to it after Young Blood.. [6/10] The Killing Vote (2/12) Picked this up because it was getting a good reaction, even though idc for the ML. It's intriguing so far, and I'll admit I'm interested in the plot for now. Will stick with it and see. [no rating yet] Beach Boys (4/12) Watching this for a Drama Club. Not really sure I'm in the mood for it since I've apparently fallen into a cdrama hole so it's not making me overly motivated to watch very much lmao.. I can tell it's just a fun entertaining series / bromance but I kind of want it to reel me in more lol [6/10]

Planning to watch Stuff I'll likely pick up in the near future: Moving (heard many a good thing) The Bond (when i'm in the mood for something srs) Knockin' on Locked Door (gotta support my boy) Stay With Me Beach Boys (for a Drama Club.. i'm trying to gear myself up into the mood for it) Waiting for: Lost You Forever Part 2 (one day..) Anything remotely Tan Jianci related The Worst of Evil Sparkling Watermelon

[arthurdrakoni]

It took me a while to try The Call of the Void, but I’m glad I finally did. Come for the Lovecraft homages, stay for the compelling characters

Topher Sommers is a tour guide who works at the New Orleans Pharmacy Museum. He’s got a fairly good life, and is reasonably happy. Then his father, a prominent physics professor, disappears. Topher and his sister Simone try to retrace their father’s steps. This leads Topher to a palm reader named Etsy Delmen. She went to school with Topher, but he kind of forgot about her over the years. Etsy is hide a few secrets of her own. Topher and Etsy hit the road to retrace Mr. Sommers tracks, while Simone stay behind in New Orleans. Topher and Etsy are about to find more than they bargained for. They will discover arcane symbols, deranged cultists, morally questionable experiments, and eldritch horrors from beyond this universe. This is The Call of the Void. Stay tuned, stay sane. 

I had known about The Call of the Void for a while. I’d seen it get recommended alongside shows such as Spaceships, The Strata, and Residents of Proserpina Park. The Twitter account for The Call of the Void even followed and unfollowed me a couple times. I did follow them back eventually, but I think I ought to explain my process. I don’t follow shows on Twitter until I have caught up with all available episodes that they have. It’s nothing personal, it’s just how I conduct myself. But it was also clear that The Call of the Void was trying to get my attention. Okay, it worked. You guys twisted my arm enough, and I gave the show a listen. 

I sometimes get the feeling that shows follow me on Twitter in order to fish for a review. As such, I must repeat what I said during my review of We Fix Space Junk. If any of you who create audio drama would like a review, just be direct. You can message me on Reddit, or send me a direct message on Twitter. You can also comment on one of my many posts on r/audiodrama, or the other subreddits I post in. Or you can message me on Facebook; I'm active in the Audio Drama Lovers group and the Audio Drama Hub group. You can also message my Facebook fan page for this blog, Sam McDonald's The Audiophile. Point is, there's a lot of way to get in touch with me. The best way to guarantee that I'll review your show is to directly contact me. As you might have noticed, I'm more than happy to give any show a shot. 

I’ll admit that horror investigation audio dramas aren’t really my go-to genre. Despite this, The Call of the Void managed to hold my interest for all three seasons. I was worried that things would move too slow, and both the mystery and plot would drag on. Thankfully, this was not the case. The plot moved at a decent speed. In fact, there were times when season one felt like it was moving a bit too fast. Fortunately, these pacing issues were smoothed out in seasons two and three. I was also intrigued by the references and connections to the Lovecraft Mythos. I am a fan of the works of H.P. Lovecraft. Let’s see: incomprehensible eldritch horrors from beyond this universe, deranged cultists who worship said eldritch horrors, mysterious archaic symbols, academics driven mad by the eldritch horrors. I don’t know about you, but that all sounds pretty Lovecraftian to me. 

Also, as someone from Louisiana, I’d be lying if I said that The Calling of the Void being set in Louisiana didn’t intrigue me. My dad’s side of the family is from throughout the greater New Orleans area. So, I’ve visited New Orleans on quite a few occasions over the years. While we’re on the subject, points for getting the pronunciation correct. Those of us from Louisiana pronounce it New Or-lense, not New Or-leans. I realize this makes no sense to non-Louisianans, but that’s how we pronounce it. Saying it as Or-leans is a good way to get yourself marked as a tourist. Also, points for remembering that Louisiana is divided into parishes, not counties. It is a legacy from our days as a colony of France and Spain, who were both Catholic nations. Louisiana is one of only two states that don’t use counties. The other one is Alaska, which uses boroughs. 

As I noted at the beginning, The Call of the Void draws heavily upon the works of H.P. Lovecraft for inspiration. The Void itself wouldn’t be too out of place in a Lovecraft story. Even the way it factors into the plot of The Call of the Void evokes Lovecraft. H.P. Lovecraft came up with a pantheon of Great Old Ones with a very detailed mythology. However, the Great Old Ones usually don’t directly appear in Lovecraft’s short stories. They’re usually lurking just off-screen, for lack of a better way of putting it, and manipulating things from the shadows. The Void only directly appears a few times, but its presence is very much felt. 

The main antagonist of season two is known as The Yellow King. This is an obvious reference to The King in Yellow. The King in Yellow was created by Robert W. Chamber. However, Lovecraft was a big fan of Chamber’s work, and incorporated The King in Yellow into the Cthulhu Mythos. Speaking of Cthulhu, I get the impression that the title of the series might be a reference to “The Call of Cthulhu.” Topher, Etsy, and the gang are also menaced by Night Gaunts at the end of season two, and the start of season three. Points for picking one of the more obscure Lovecraft monsters.

The Call of the Void bills itself as science fiction, but it’s really science fiction to the same extent that Stranger Things is. Though, this isn’t too surprising, given that the creators are big fans of Stranger Things.

Also, as a history major, a lot of Topher’s characterization rang very true.  I haven’t been to the New Orleans Pharmacy Museum, but I’ll be sure to fix that the next time I’m down that way.  I’m tempted to ask if Topher Sommers is in just to see how the tour guides react. 

Have you listened to The Call of the Void?  If so, what did you think?

Link to the full review on my blog: https://drakoniandgriffalco.blogspot.com/2022/07/the-audio-file-call-of-void.html?m=1

[na-ta-sh-aa]

This was so well written and so engaging. I was ready to see many things, but I definitely never expected Bradley making reservations at the same restaurant as Birdie during her date, he is still so into her but maybe he can't and doesn't want to admit it even to himself? anyway I loved this!

“But honestly, I'm writing this letter because I miss you. It's been one week since l've talked to you, and I miss you. I miss your smile and your laugh, and your voice. I miss your hugs and your kisses and your sweet disposition, Bradley.”

“I carry a piece of you with me everywhere. Your challenge coin lives in the pocket above my heart in my flight suit. I never fly without it. I like to think it brings me good luck. When I'm in the air and I have it with me, it's almost like I can hear your voice in my comms. I also keep my bracelet with me. I wear it every chance I get, and when I can't. It's tucked away in my bra to keep you close to me.”

I am literally in tears, the letter was so touching I loved the way you managed to convey all the emotions and feelings so perfectly, you wrote this part in such a realistic and beautiful way.

“In the years that you were gone, you'd never stopped loving him, wanting him, longing for him. God, he felt like such an ass now. He quickly put the first letter down and grabbed the next one.”

On the one hand, I'm happy that now Bradley knows that she never stopped loving him and that she would have liked to resume their relationship where they left it once she returned, but on the other hand, it breaks my heart that they couldn't communicate for so long and although both of them didn't stop loving each other even for a second, things didn't go as planned. I think no one is to blame here, there were difficult circumstances that prevented both of them from being clear with each other. I understand very well how Birdie acted, given her top secret mission, she couldn't say anything to Bradley and didn't think it was fair to him to ask him to wait for her. Just as it's understandable why Bradley tried to move forward without Birdie after suffering so much for her.

“But that wasn't why he remembered it so well. It was the dress you were wearing when he proposed to you, and the one he took off of you before making love to you that night. The last time he saw it was on your—his bedroom floor.”

Okay this detail broke my heart😭

“Hey, Kat. I'm sorry about last week. Let me make it up to you. Let me take you to Dockside tonight. I'll pick you up at 7:00." Bradley says before handing up the phone and heading home.”

Oh no Bradley, what are you doing? And what do you have in mind?

“This date was actually going well until the host brought a new couple to sit at the table next to you.”

"Birdie?" A familiar voice called. You looked over and saw Kat and Bradley standing there. Heat burned in your cheeks.”

Noo, right at the table next to her!

“She nodded before turning to the host and asking to move.”

Kat is really sweet, I appreciated that she tried to ask for another table

"Fine! Do you want to know what my issue was? It was your dress. You wore that fucking yellow dress. It was the same one you were wearing when I proposed to you!" Bradley throws his hand up in defeat.”

I think for Bradley, from the moment he saw Birdie again, it was really difficult. He had tried to move on and try to forget her but I think all his efforts were in vain when he saw her again. I think he's still so in love with her.

"I came here to apologize for Bradley's behavior this weekend." She says to you earnestly. "It's fine. Really." You tell her.”

"No, I didn't mean with Bradley. I meant the two of us. Like a girls' date!" Kat chirps with hope in her eyes.”

She is so precious, I'm sorry that she doesn't know the whole truth and I hope that if she finds out she won't be too hurt, although I think it will be really hard.

This chapter was so wonderful and the story gets more and more intriguing and complex, I love it! There are so many things that literally leave me on the edge of my seat. I'm so curious to know how the situation will develop. I absolutely loved reading this!💗✨

daylight

Series Warnings: Mature Content 18+. Language, drinking, and allusions to smut. Eventuallyfull smut. Military inaccuracies. Minors DNI. Banner Credit @thedroneranger

Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

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Chapter 3: Wounded the Good (Trusted the Wicked)

It had been just over a month since you'd come back into Bradley's life, and he still couldn't figure you out You weren't mean to him, per se, but the friendship the two of you had all those years ago was no longer there.

You didn't go out of your way to speak to him. You barely acknowledged him at work or when you were out with friends. And when he asked you a question, your answer was never more than a few words.

He thought maybe you were mad at him over the situation with Kat. But you didn't have a right to be mad at him for moving on. You left him. He just didn't understand

But Bradley did have a sneaking suspension that the box of letters Mav had dropped off to him the first night you came back might shine some light on your feelings. Bradley realized after a week or so that you'd probably brought it to give to him. That you'd kept it your whole deployment and how when he told Kat you were just a friend that it probably broke your heart

He also knew that you weren't aware he had the box. How could you know? As far as you were concerned, the letters were in the dump by now. Bradley had worked hard to keep the intrusive thoughts about reading those letters out of his mind But, as he sat on his couch with his third beer in hand, still frustrated about the talk he and Kat had about her moving in, again, he couldn't stop thinking about them.

So, Bradley let the intrusive thoughts win. He marched upstairs and unearthed the box from the pile of blankets and sheets it was under. He took it down to his living room and sat it on his coffee table before tracing his fingers over the painted designs and knickknacks that adorned it. He could picture you, sitting cross-legged on the floor of your bunk painting and gluing. He smiled at the thought of it.

Carefully, he undid the latch and admired the picture of the two of you taped to the inner lid. It was a blurry selfie of him kissing your cheek while you were laughing. It was taken on the beach at sunset. Both of you had rosy cheeks from the sun, and the wind was blowing the fine tendrils of your hair all around, but neither of your cared. It was the perfect photo of the two of you, well, of who the two of you used to be.

Bradley ran his hands over the papers in the box. There were hundreds of them. He wasn't sure where to start, but as he pulled the first envelope from the front, he saw the date in the upper right corner. It was from just about a week after you'd been deployed. Upon further investigation, Bradley noticed that the rest were dated and in order. Of course, you would be that organized. He took a deep breath and opened the envelope, and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. Your neatly looped cursive covered the page.

My Dearest, Bradley,

I wanted to start this letter by saying l'm sorry. l'm sorry for leaving you in our house, in our bed. The truth is, I didn't think I could face you in the morning to tell you goodbye. Because I felt like telling you goodbye meant that we were really over, and that's not what I wanted.

Second, I wanted to say how crazy it is that I'm writing you this letter knowing you'll probably never read it. I can't tell you much about this mission other than it is highly top secret, and we can't have contact with the outside world unless it's an extreme emergency. Unfortunately, missing your fiancée, well, ex-fiancée, doesn't count as one.

But honestly, I'm writing this letter because I miss you. It's been one week since l've talked to you, and I miss you. I miss your smile and your laugh, and your voice. I miss your hugs and your kisses and your sweet disposition, Bradley.

I know that I can't send this letter to you, but in a way, writing it helps me cope with the fact that you aren't here. It helps me feel like l'm talking to you, and it makes this carrier a little less lonely. I don't know how I'm going to go five years without seeing you, but I can't wait to step onto the San Diego sand and see you again.

Maybe I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I hope that I'm going to see you again, Bradley. But l've heard things about this mission, and I know it's dangerous more dangerous than anything we've done before. It's the kind of mission that people whisper about in corners. The kind that makes you think someone isn't going to make it back. I hope that isn't true. I hope I make it back to you, Bradley. But if I don't, I hope this letter, and any other ones that I write to you make it to you. So you have a piece of me to hold onto forever.

I carry a piece of you with me everywhere. Your challenge coin lives in the pocket above my heart in my flight suit. I never fly without it. I like to think it brings me good luck. When I'm in the air and I have it with me, it's almost like I can hear your voice in my comms. I also keep my bracelet with me. I wear it every chance I get, and when I can't. It's tucked away in my bra to keep you close to me.

Bradley pauses as his hand automatically reaches for the chain under his shirt. The one that matches your bracelet. He wonders if you still have it, if you still have his coin too. He runs his fingers over the metal, soothing himself.

He keeps reading.

I hope you aren't angry with me, Bradley. I know it must have broken your heart to wake up without me. But I hope you understand why I did what I did. I hope you know that I never meant to hurt you and that I still love you. I'l| always love you. You are the first person I've ever really truly loved, Bradley.

I know this distance is hard for us. And I know it's wrong of me to want it. But I hope that when I come back, we can pick up where we left off.

I'll write again soon.

Love Always, Your Birdie

Bradley's breath catches in his throat as a few hot tears sting his waterline and drop onto the page. He quickly wipes them away, afraid of damaging your words. Everything made since now.

In the years that you were gone, you'd never stopped loving him, wanting him, longing for him. God, he felt like such an ass now. He quickly put the first letter down and grabbed the next one.

Then another, then another. After a few more, sleep tried to creep into his eyes. So, Bradley went to his kitchen to start a pot off coffee. He poured himself a cup and read another letter and started a cycle.

Coffee, letter, repeat. He spent hours wrapped in your words until exhaustion forced him to fall asleep at his kitchen table.

A few hours later, he's jolted awake by the harsh sound of someone pounding on his door. "Bradshaw, open up. Are you alive? You missed the game!" He hears Jake yell from the other side.

Bradley jolts up from his table and scrambles to collect all of your letters that are scattered across his kitchen and living room. In his haste, he doesn't hear the rattle of the spare key the Daggers know he keeps under the potted plant next to his door turn in the lock.

"Bradshaw, what the fuck is going on in here?" Jake drawls out. Bradley turns to face him, papers in hand, and a deer in the head light look on his face.

"Uh—nothing." Bradley mumbles. "It doesn't look like nothing. What are these?" Jake asks as he grabs a stray letter from the coffee table.

"Don't touch them. They're mine!" Bradley snaps as he snatches the paper from Jake's hand. But it's too late, Jake knows that they are. "Are these letters from Birdie?" Jake questions him.

Bradley sighs, no point in denying it. "Yes, yes, they are. She wrote them to me on her covert deployment. There's hundreds of them. Mav found them in a box outside the Hard Deck near the dumpster."

"Because she was going to give them to you the night she returned, but you dropped the Kat bomb on her." Jake says as the pieces click into place.

"Yup." Bradley replies, popping the p.

"And I'm guessing Kat doesn't know about these?" Jake asks.

"She does not." Bradley says.

"Well— this—" Jake says as he gestures to the sight before him, "seems messy, and I'd rather not get involved, so good luck with whatever this is. I'll just text everyone that you were hungover and not dead," he finishes before turning on his heels and leaving Bradley alone.

...............

It's hard at first, finding your rhythm and your place amongst the Daggers again. But after a few weeks, you settle in.

It's Jake who asks you first about whether or not they will see you in a plane again, and you brush him off, claiming you're trying to get used to California time again. It pacifies the group, and no one really says anything else.

After a while, you seem to find your groove, and you fit back in with your group nicely. You find yourself going out with them more and more. And even though it hurts you to see Bradley with someone else, you can't be mean to Kat. She's so kind and genuine and always tells you how pretty you look.

A part of you feels bad for not telling her the truth about you and Bradley, but it's not your job to tell her. You just have to keep coming up with clever excuses as to why you can't come over every time she invites you to dinner.

You've officially been back for two months when Nat tells you that it's time to get back into the dating game. She tries to set you up with Bob, and he is sweet, but you remind her how well dating a coworker went for you last time. So instead, one Friday night, you find yourself sitting on the couch sharing a bottle of wine with her setting up your Hinge profile.

She flips through your photos, selecting a mix of ones that show you in a casual light alongside ones of you in your uniform, flight suit, and plane. You insisted that you didn't want to hide the fact that you were in the military.

Once your profile was set up, she helped you swipe until you got some matches. Then she helped you with some pick-up lines and conversation starters.

That's how you met Lucas. He was a few years younger than you, but he had his own place, an MBA, and worked in finance. He didn't mind that you were in the Navy. He actually thought it was cool.

Lucas was sweet and made you laugh, and after a few days of messaging on the app, you gave him your phone number. Two days later, he called you and asked you out on a date, and you agreed.

Thursday night, you pilfered through your closet to find the perfect outfit. Lucas is taking you to Dockside, a semi-upscale restaurant at the marina.

You flip through dresses before finding the perfect one. Unfortunately, when you try it on, it's not very compatible with your back brace. The material does little to hide the outline of it, and the dip in the back makes the top of it visible.

You pull off the garment and fling it to the floor before letting out a frustrated sigh. Ziva hops up and quickly retrieves it for you. You take the dress from her, and she sets her head in your lap, awaiting a few pets.

You take it from her and scratch her ears. You turn your attention back to the dress before deciding that you can go a few hours without your brace. What's the worst that could happen? You also decide that you could keep it and a sweater in your car, just in case.

You slip off your brace and try the dress back on. You double-check that the scars on your back aren't visible before taking it off and tucking it and your shoes and accessories into a garment bag.

Lucas is meeting you at 6:30, so by the time you get done for the day tomorrow, you won't have time to go home and change, so you decided to bring what you needed and get ready in your office.

.............

Bradley had set with the knowledge of your letters for a week. He hadn't read anymore since the very first night because he needed to process. He waited until the end of the day Friday to talk to you about them. That way, if he made an ass of himself, he wouldn't have to see you for two days.

He walked down the hallway and knocked on the door to your office. "Just a second!" Your voice chimed out. A few moments later, he heard the lock unlatch before the knob turned.

"Rooster." You said half-heartedly as you opened the door. "What can I do for you?"

Bradley stood there frozen at the sight before him. You had changed out of your uniform into a dress. A dress he knew very well. It was a golden yellow dress that reminded you of Andie's from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, which is why you had to have it.

But that wasn't why he remembered it so well. It was the dress you were wearing when he proposed to you, and the one he took off of you before making love to you that night. The last time he saw it was on your—his bedroom floor.

"Um—you're dressed up." Bradley sputtered out.

"Yeah. I, I have a date." You say shyly, feeling the weight of Bradley's gaze on you. "What did you need?" You ask him.

"I—I can't remember. Where are you going? With who?" Bradley asks you, suddenly feeling a pang of jealousy run through him.

"His name is Lucas. We met on Hinge after Nat set me up a profile. I'm meeting him at Dockside in thirty minutes, so if you don't need anything, I need to go." You say to him with an aggravated tone.

"Oh, well, where is Ziva?" Bradley asks you.

"Not that it's really any of your business, but Uncle Beau took her home for me. Now, unless you have something pressing, I need to leave." You huff.

Bradley shakes his head. You grab your things and push past him to go to the parking lot. Once you're safely in your car, you take some ibuprofen to hopefully prevent any unbearable pain tonight.

Ten minutes after you leave, Bradley gets to his Bronco. He slides in before grabbing his phone.

"Hey, Kat. I'm sorry about last week. Let me make it up to you. Let me take you to Dockside tonight. I'll pick you up at 7:00." Bradley says before handing up the phone and heading home.

................

Lucas is sweet when you meet him. He brought you flowers and kept his hand at a respectable spot on your back as the host guided the two of you through the restaurant. He pulled out your chair for you with a smile.

You were grateful that the chairs here had a higher stiff back. It would make sitting without your brace more tolerable.

After ordering wine and looking over the menu, the two of you fell into a comfortable small talk. One glass of wine and the salad course later, you felt comfortable around him.

He was interested in your career and laughed at your jokes. This date was actually going well until the host brought a new couple to sit at the table next to you.

"Birdie?" A familiar voice called. You looked over and saw Kat and Bradley standing there. Heat burned in your cheeks.

"Birdie, what are you doing here?" Kat asked as she looked between you and Lucas. "I'm, I'm on a date." You said to her. She nodded before turning to the host and asking to move.

"Kat, they are super busy. This table is fine. I promise I'll be on my best behavior." Bradley says before sending her a wink. Reluctantly, Kat sits down.

When your entrées were served, you realized you'd been talking so much about yourself that you felt embarrassed.

Lucas laughed and told you it was fine before you started asking him questions about himself. You tried to listen intently, but every time Lucas talked about managing a hedge fund or getting his MBA from Georgetown, you couldn't ignore the not so subtle groans and scoffs from Bradley.

After one particularly loud scoff, Kat kicked Bradley under the table so hard that the silverware rattled.

By the time dessert rolled around, pain had blossomed in your spine. You felt like you were burning from the inside out. You quickly excused yourself to the bathroom to take some pain medication. You took a few deep breaths before reapplying your lipstick.

When you walked back to your table, you could see Kat glaring at Bradley, and you assumed that he had done something when you were in the bathroom.

"Sorry for taking so long. I just needed to freshen up." You apologized to Lucas. "It's fine. I hope you don't mind that I ordered the chocolate melting cake for dessert. I've heard it's incredible." Lucas said to you.

"No, that's fine. I love chocolate!" You told him earnestly. And Lucas was right. The dessert was amazing. At the end of the meal, he quickly swiped the bill before you could even look at it. You noticed that Bradley and Kat also had their bill, opting not to stay for dessert.

After paying and leaving a good tip, Lucas helped you up, which you definitely needed but didn't want to ask for, before walking you to your car.

As you crossed the parking lot, you could hear the hushed whispers of a couple arguing. You turned to see Bradley and Kat in a spat. Surely, the result of his less than stellar behavior.

You don't know why he acted that way. You'd been more than civil to Kat at the various outings that the two of you had been at. He had no right to try and ruin your date.

You shook the thought of him from your head as you stopped beside your car. Lucas gave you a polite goodnight kiss before he opened your car door for you and made sure you got out of the parking lot alright.

When you finally made it home, you immediately ran inside and collapsed on your bed before grabbing your prescription pain medication and taking it.

Ziva came and rested beside you, waiting to assist you if needed, but you feel asleep before you could do anything else.

..................

Monday morning, you were fuming when you came into the work. You had time to recover over the weekend and really think about what Bradley had done.

You told him where you were going, and he purposely came to the restaurant to spy on you and your date. Where did he get off on that? You'd never done anything negative towards him and Kat. You'd always been civil to her. It's not like Bradley could be mad at you for doing exactly what he did. You had got to work early, and you clocked him coming down the hall a few minutes after you.

"Rooster!" You shouted at him. You could see the panic flash across his face before he quickly walked towards you.

"Yes?" He asked, feigning innocence.

You grabbed him by his collar and dragged him into your office.

"What the fuck is your problem?" You say as you haul him inside. "Excuse me?" He asks you.

"You heard me! You brought Kat to Dockside to sabotage my date. You were jealous that I was going out!" You yell.

"I did not. We had a fight earlier that week, and I had already planned this. It was just a coincidence that we happened to show up and be sat next to you. Honestly." Bradley defends himself.

"I don't believe you!" You tell him. "You don't like the fact that I went out on a date. Just admit it. The idea if me moving on bothers you. Which isn't fair because you moved on and got yourself a whole-ass new fiancée!" You scream at him.

"Leave Kat out of this." Bradley bites back.

"You didn't." You retort. "I mean, seriously, what is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem!" Bradley argues with you.

"Yes, you do! Lucas is a great guy, and all you did was scoff and make snide comments about him!" You say as you poke Bradley's chest.

"He's about as interesting as watching paint dry." Bradley rolls his eyes.

"Well, at least he was communicating with me." You cross your arms over your chest.

"Fine! Do you want to know what my issue was? It was your dress. You wore that fucking yellow dress. It was the same one you were wearing when I proposed to you!" Bradley throws his hand up in defeat.

You narrow your eyes at him. "Well, I am so sorry about that. Next time I wear something that you proposed to me in, I'll make sure Lucas is the only one who sees it. Now get out!" You state before opening the door and slamming it behind him.

A few hours later, there is a knock on your door. You aren't expecting anyone, and you're even more shocked to find that it's Kat on the other side.

"Kat. Did you get lost looking for Rooster?" You ask her. "No. I—I came to see you, actually." She admits.

You hesitate for a moment before inviting her in.

"I came here to apologize for Bradley's behavior this weekend." She says to you earnestly. "It's fine. Really." You tell her.

"No, it isn't. I don't know what his problem was." Kat says.

"Rooster was my wingman for years. When you spend a bunch of time with someone and go on deployments, you get—close." You trail off. Kat quirks an eyebrow at you.

"Like siblings." You finished quickly. "Rooster is like a brother to me. He just—wants what's best for me." You sigh.

"Well, it doesn't give him an excuse to act like a dick." Kat says. You laugh at her comment. "But seriously. I'm so sorry for how he acted. I hope he didn't ruin anything for you."

"No, he didn't. Lucas and I are going out again on Wednesday." You tell her with a smile.

"Good. I'm glad. He seemed nice." Kat smiles back at you.

"Also, Birdie, I was hoping that I could make it up to you. I was thinking we could get brunch on Saturday?" Kat asks you.

"Kat, that's really sweet, but I don't think I can be around Rooster right now. I'm still mad at him." You tell her.

"No, I didn't mean with Bradley. I meant the two of us. Like a girls' date!" Kat chirps with hope in her eyes.

You want to turn her down, but she's got such a genuine smile on her face, and you can tell she's trying to be nice. "Okay. I guess we could do that." You say. She squeals before giving you a quick hug.

"Yay! I'll get your number from Bradley, and I'll text you the details!" She cheers before walking out. "Sounds great." You call down the hallway before shutting the door behind her.

At the sound of the door closing a little too hard, Ziva perks up from behind your desk and gives you a puzzling look.

"Oh, Zee. Brunch with my ex-fiancées current fiancée. What could go wrong?"

Taglist: @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @desert-fern @wkndwlff @roosterforme @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @na-ta-sh-aa @katieshook02 @beyondthesefourwalls @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @djs8891 @roosters-girl @rosiahills22 @dempy @callsign-magnolia @gretagerwigsmuse @lt-spork @seitmai @kmc1989 @bcarolinablr @itsdesiree86 @waywardhunter95 @whatislovevavy @inkandarsenic @mak-32 @dingochef @princess76179 @schoollover @cheyrenee @sebsxphia @sylviebell @marvelouslyme96 @intrinsicreader @maverick-wingman-favorites @khaylin27 @toomuchfluffs

[songmingisthighs]

Hooked

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

ch. xxxv - NYOOOOOOM

<< previous | masterlist | next >>

??? × reader, ateez × reader

A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?

Wooyoung and Yeosang were rushing you into the frat as quick as they could. Wooyoung carrying your bag and Yeosang practically hauling you away.

When you entered the frat, you could see that every single one of them is sitting around the living area. Some were seated on the couch as some were on the floor.

At the sight of you entering, their eyes lit up and smile bloom on their faces automatically.

"Is this an intervention?" you asked, walking slowly to where they are, slightly wary of the situation as they would rarely gather together to talk. More often than not, all communication happens in the group chat.

"Because I swear I'll return all your shirts and hoodies," you said, scrunching your nose in nervousness.

Mingi stood up and glomped onto you, nestling his face into the crook of your neck. He had to hunch because he's way taller than you. "You can take our clothes any time you want, this is not an intervention," he mumbled into your skin before detaching and planting a soft peck on your forehead, "missed you," he grinned.

You instinctively held onto Mingi's ring and pinkie as he led you to sit on the available spot at the left end of the U-shaped couch.

"So? Who wants to start?" Yunho asked, breaking the initial building silence.

The boys looked at each other for a bit before their eyes slowly zeroed in on Hongjoong. At the sudden attention, Hongjoong's eyes widened for a split second before scoffing, "one of you better start because I'm not doing it," he said, crossing his arms.

"But you're the leader," Yeosand stated matter-o-factly with a straight face. The others nodding along, agreeing to what Yeosang said.

Hongjoong grumbled at the fact that they're ganging up on him, using his own title against him. This is one of the rare few times he regretted having his title and even using it to his own advantage sometimes. The K in karma stands for Kang Yeosang, it seems.

You pursed your lips, still nervous and slightly uneasy. Historically, when a person is called by a group or collective, it was never for good reasons.

"So, (Y/N)," Hongjoong started, looking directly at you as his fingers fiddled slightly with the rings in his fingers, "do you like being with us?" he asked.

You visibly swallowed the lump in your throat. You couldn't help but feel like they're kicking you out, or the board is making them kick you out, that's the only reasonable explanation to the opening question Hongjoong threw at you, right?

Unconsciously, you leaned closer to Mingi for security and held his fingers tighter. Mingi thought nothing much of it. "Well, I like you guys like a lot, and living with you all has been great! More than great, actually, I never really had a roommate and initially the thought of having 8 roommates scared me especially because well you're guys and guys tend to be dirty and all, but it turns out you guys are freaking awesome, and I couldn't ask for better roommates honestly," you rambled, grinning awkwardly at them.

Most of them had a look of confusion on their faces. They didn't know why you were talking about your living situation when they're obviously asking about something much more substantial than that.

"(Y/N), sweetie," Seonghwa called out, "we're... glad that you're happy living with us here and we honestly wouldn't want it any other way," "wait, so this is not about anyone having a problem with me living here for quite some time now?" you asked, cutting Seonghwa off.

Wooyoung gasped loudly at your question, "no, it's not, sweetie, believe me! Who'd make you feel this way?" he then snapped his head to San who's sitting next to him, "was it you!?" he asked dramatically, holding onto the collars of San's hoodie, "fuck you, if anyone would've made her uncomfortable, it would've been you with your incessant claim on her as her boyfriend which is as true as Yeosang being able to pop unicorn horn from his ass!" San retorted back, grabbing onto Wooyoung's collars as well.

Seonghwa and Yunho immediately jumped up and separated the two, sitting them in next to Jongho and Yeosang who had been snickering at the childish argument.

Once they both calmed down, they all shifted their attention back to you. "We weren't talking about our living situation at all, we're kind of... needing to ask you something important..." Yunho said, trailing off to look at the others as if in confirmation.

No longer feeling nervous, you just shrug at them all, "okay, shoot."

Though you asked them to talk, they all stay glancing at each other. Even Wooyoung, the most confident man you possibly have ever known, couldn't look you directly in the eyes without blushing.

After a while, the tension didn't seem to dissipate and it started to bug you. "Oh, come on! You guys have seen me naked, what could you all possibly have to say that made you all sweating like an old man in a sauna?" you grumbled, crossing your arms on your chest.

Jongho cringed at your words, "don't put you and a sweaty old man in the same sentence, that image's gonna haunt me for weeks," he complained. San stared at him weirdly, "why would you even think about a sweaty old man?" "It's called prompting," "It's called nasty,"

Yeosang exhaled sharply, bringing everyone's attention to him, "since none of you seems to want to seriously ask her, I'll do it," he glared at the other boys before looking straight at you, "how do you feel, non platonically, about all of us?" he asked directly.

While you tilt your head in confusion, everyone else in the room seemed to broke into a meltdown altogether. Some were covering their faces in their hands, others were slumping so lowly on the couch their asses were basically on the floor.

"I... honestly haven't really thought about it," you shrugged, furrowing your eyebrows, "but I can't say I'm not attracted to all of you, sure we're friends and this might be just a fascination thing, but I really can't deny that I definitely feel something for you guys," you continued.

When they heard you say that, they visibly relaxed.

"That's good, because, well..." Yeosang trailed off, waiting for someone else to say it as a rosy tint bloomed on his face, showcasing his bashfulness to everyone.

Thankfully, Hongjoong stepped up and continued Yeosang's sentence, "because we, all eight of us, also can't deny that we feel something for you," he smiled shyly.

Seeing the boys all soft and shy made you giggle. Butterflies formed in your stomach and you had to admit that you like the thought of all of them liking you more than on a platonic level.

"So... every single one of you has feelings for me?" you asked, trying to make sure before you made your conclusion. All eight heads nod and you can't help but to focus on Jongho and Mingi, "you both too?" you asked them both, eyes darting between the two.

While Jongho grinned cockily and nod, Mingi covered his face with one hand in embarrassment, "yeah, kind of," he mumbled. You giggled and reach to try to pry his hand from his face, wanting to see how he look, "when did you start feeling like that, huh? I thought you only think of me as a stress reliever," you whined but eventually succeeding in prying his hand off.

Mingi raised an eyebrow at you, "the fact that we've been sleeping together combined with how amazing you are, it was never about if I'd fall for you, it was about the when," he said. You couldn't help but blush at his words, "so you liked me because we were fuck buddies?" "it sounds bad when you put it like that, but I was intrigued when I first met you which is why I approached you,"

You then shifted your gaze to the others, "When did you all realize you like me?" you asked, "as cliche as it sounds, it was the night we all did it together," Yunho answered.

"Not me," Wooyoung said, raising a hand, "I realized it like a solid couple of weeks after we started our whole fake relationship thing," he grinned proudly, "I began liking the way I call you my girlfriend more than I would like to admit, but I couldn't think of another person more perfect for me than you,"

It was your turn to melt. You covered your face in embarrassment, letting out a muffled squeal at how cheesy Wooyoung's words are. The others chuckled at how adorable you're being.

"You know, the eight of us talked about it before you came back here," Hongjoong said. You calm yourself down before being able to look at him directly in the eyes again, "and... we just wanted to know whether or not you'd like to date us,"

You tilted your head to the side, "like... All nine of us? One girl and eight boys?" you asked, making sure you're not hearing things wrong. But all of them nodded firmly. "It's not orthodox, I'd have to admit, and usually we would each try to win you over for only one of us, but when we were together last time, it just felt natural and I can't speak for these guys, but I didn't feel jealous whatsoever, because I know that you deserve more than just what I could and am willing to give you, and they can fill in where I lack because you deserve nothing but the best," Seonghwa said. He had somehow moved to kneel in between your legs, hands rubbing your knees gently as his eyes shone what you could only describe as pure affection and adoration.

The others piped in agreement with the eldest. It seemed like they know what they're doing and what they want. So the ball was in your court.

On one hand, you adore them to the heavens and back, you couldn't possibly think of having things any other way. And the thought of having to choose between them doesn't sit right with you. Sure, you're just one person, but you're sure if they're right, things will be okay.

But on the other hand, Seonghwa was right, this is highly unorthodox. Sure, you've heard of poly relationships here and there, heck one of your classmates' sister is in a poly relationship with three girls. But you can't deny you live in a society that's filled with judgment and harsh criticism, more than yourself, you're worried about how going down this path would affect them. And besides, how did one went from not wanting to even have random hookups due to wanting to have a relationship with 8 guys?

"See the look on her face? The wheels are turning in there," you heard Jongho muttered to the rest of them who had moved to kneel in front of you somewhere during your thoughts.

You glared at him shortly before pouting, "I do want to know if there could be something more to this," you started. The boys were about to celebrate when you cut them off, "BUT, I'm not sure on how this is gonna be, let's face it, you guys seemed to realize that you like me after we had sex," "I didn't," Wooyoung cut you off which was immediately shut by Yeosang, putting a hand over his mouth, "feelings tend to mash then and I wouldn't be surprised if it was the sexual pull talking," you sighed.

Their shoulder seemingly slumped hearing you say that. They didn't even discuss that, they were pretty sure that they genuinely like you and want to be more with you. Maybe they didn't want what you said to even be a possibility.

Suddenly, San perked up, "wait, if what you're worried about is whether or not our feelings are the real deal or not, then why don't you just test it? You can just decide later if we're gonna officially date or not. Take things slowly, you know?" he grinned brightly.

Slowly, each of the boys' eyes widened and shone with hope, thinking that San's plan is actually probable.

"Finally, San said something fucking smart for once," Yunho muttered, earning a harsh nudge to his hip by a glaring San.

The idea wasn't bad. It was actually good. This way, all of you can be sure and there would be no regrets, no one got hurt.

You squint your eyes at him, "but what would that make us?" "that's the beauty of it, there would be no official title until we make our decision," he said proudly. You pursed your lips, feelings swaying and leaning on the positive, "and how long do I have to make a decision?" this time, Yeosang answered, "as long as you need, we won't rush you," he smiled gently at you, making your stupid heart flip.

The idea WAS appealing, it was a win-win for sure.

When a smile broke on your face, the boys had to hold themselves together to let you confirm their suspicion.

"I'm in, let's try and see where we all can go,"

Before you could even take a breath after answering, the boys had pulled you forward in a giant group hug on the floor. You found yourself squished by eight men who are hollering, cheering, trying to kiss you, and trying to hold onto you as tightly as possible. While the position was uncomfortable, you couldn't care less.

Because being in the centre of them all felt right. It felt like you belong.

taglist :

@raysanshine @peachy-maia @xuxiable @90s-belladonna @theclawofaraven @sanraes @sungiehan @felix-kithes @nycol-ie @superstarw99 @skkrtnawrskkrt @viv-atiny @the7thcrow @stfu-xeena @laurademaury @multihoe-net @daisyhwa @scoupshushushu @whyisquill @bikiniholic @yunhorights @exfolitae @simplewonderland @verycooldog2 @perfectlysane24 @hannahdinse8 @tannie13 @aka-minhyuk-kun @phebeedee @f4iryyunho @marsophilia @donghyuckanti27 @se-onghwa @malewife-supremacy @hyunsukream @elijahbabyb @taejichafe @alliecoady98

[lsholland]

London Lights (pt. 1) - Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (1st person)

Genre: Party!Tom

Warnings: swearing; alcohol; nothing much but I don’t recommend -18 to read.

Word count: 1.9k

Author’s note: Hey guys! That’s my first story on this blog. I hope you’ll like it. I’m not native so there may be a few mistakes. I’m trying a new genre of fiction. It’s my first Tom Holland fiction. It’ll be a series of 2-3 chapters. If you want to be part of the master list for Tom please like this post and message me. 

Synopsis: Quarantine has been tough. I’ve lost my boyfriend, and I’m feeling lonely. Clubs and restaurants are open again, but I feel like it’ll never be like it used to. My friends have been pushing me to install Tinder and go on dates. Well, tonight, I’m going on a date. I don’t really want to but I’m going to try and have fun for once. Just a few drinks and I’ll go home. What else could happen?

PS. You can read the story on Wattpad.

What am I doing here? I think to myself.

I matched with this guy on this famous dating app . . . And now I'm supposed to meet him here, at this bar. But I don't want to. I'm just hoping he won't show up so I can escape from this shit-place.

I've been seated at the table for a good 5 minutes. The waitress cleans up the table next to mine and asks if I'm ready to order.

No, I want to leave.

I quickly glance at the drinks menu.

"Ehm . . . A pour over Irish coffee, please."

She nods and leaves. I don't even know what I just ordered. I hope it tastes good. Hopefully it'll make me drunk enough not to remember this awful date.

It hasn't even started yet.

I'm sweating.

"Hey there" says a husky voice right behind me.

I turn around and see my date. His name is Jordan. He's good-looking and I bet he's intelligent, but I don't have this feeling with him. I don't know why I accepted to go on a date in the first place. It's awkward.

"Hey!" I grin.

"Have you ordered something already?" he asks, touching his short, clean beard. "I'm thirsty!"

He looks nice.

*

The waitress hands me my third drink. They help the clock tick a little faster.

He's been talking about his job, his passions. He loves football and practises daily. He has 2 sisters and lives in Camberwell.

Cute.

For a moment, I feel sad for him. He drove all the way to this East London bar, put effort trying to look nice and being cool . . . and yet, he doesn't know it but he has no chance to get lucky tonight. Not with me.

I shouldn't be sorry.

But I am.

I glance around looking for something that might be a little more entertaining than him. I realise I've avoided eye contact since he arrived. I finally glimpse at him. He has beautiful hazel eyes.

Still not enough.

I quickly check my phone. It's getting late. I don't know how to end this.

"Look," I slightly bend over the table. "I'm so sorry but I don't feel like it tonight"

"I noticed." He smirked. "Kinda awkward, innit?"

I chuckle. I am so embarrassed.

"It's okay, though." He added. "I'm just trying to meet new people. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few weeks ago. My mates told me I should try these apps."

Okay, now I feel worse than ever. He's been so nice with me and that's how I treat him. I grab my drink and gulp it down.

I shouldn't have done this.

"Let's go dance. I owe you one." I say as I grab his hand and walk towards the dancing area. It becomes difficult to keep my head straight.

I'm drunk, I must admit.

I'm going to regret it, my sober-self shouts in my head.

I don't care is what I reply.

The dancing area is not crowded, but there are already a few people. Most of them are girls.

Girls . . . I wish my friends were not so busy all the time. I would've come to this bar with them instead of wasting my time with strangers.

I start dancing. I stare at him. He looks amused.

A group of guys join the dancefloor and all the girls on my right start screaming. It's so high pitched I cringe.

"What the fuck guys?" I shout, trying to focus on the music.

"Woah, that's Spider-Man!" says my date. He grabs my chin and makes me look in his direction.

No way, I think. It's actually him.

I know he lives in the area, but I've never met him before. It's always weird to see movie stars in real life. They look so much more attractive.

He is so much more attractive.

I try not to be a drunk fangirl and shyly wave to him. He doesn't notice.

"You wanna go and take a picture with him?" my date asks.

"Oh, no, no!" I answer. I'm blushing. "I don't even know what I'd tell him."

He laughs.

The worst thing that could happen is to annoy him during a night out. He needs privacy and I must respect it.

But it's so difficult.

I can't stop staring at him. I don't even control it. Being drunk doesn't help.

"D'you want a beer?" I ask my date whose name I completely forgot.

He nods.

I weave my way through the crowd. I can't believe there are so many people on the dancefloor. The area is so busy since the Spider-Man actor walked in.

Even the bar area is crowded.

I let my body rest against a barstool but quickly lose balance and almost fall on the dirty floor. The flickering lights are making me feel dizzy. I grip the counter and get up. I peer around to make sure nobody saw me.

He did.

I dust off my dress trying to save the dignity I have left.

"Want something?" someone asks behind me. I turn around, it's the barman.

"Two pints of Guinness, please."

I glance back at the same spot, but he's gone. It must've been a dream. I'm so drunk I can't trust everything I think I see.

I'm grabbing both my drinks and look around trying to find my date, but there are too many people. I take a sip of my beer and hold the other one above my head.

Someone hits my arm.

Oh no.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry!" yells the drunk blond girl.

I look at my dress. It's soaking wet. I politely smile at her. "It's okay," I mouth.

What a mess. I glance at the lavatory door. I need to go and save my dress.

"You haven't been lucky here."

I turn around to find out who's talking to me.

It's him. Tom Holland. Talking to me.

"What?" is all I manage to say.

"Do you need a hand?" he politely asks.

I blush so much it's noticeable in the dark.

I'm choking. I'm panicking.

I give him my two beers and walk towards the lavatory. I'm surely starstruck. And drunk. This isn't a good mix.

Once in the room, I grab a handful of tissues and try to soak up my dress. I groan. Did I expect to make that beer mark disappear? Yes. Did it work? Of course not.

I watch my face in the mirror.

I look like shit, I think.

A door slams shut. Two young girls just walked in.

"OH, MY G—THAT'S TOM HOLLAND!" shouts one. They are both panting.

I roll my eyes.

Oh . . . I've given him my beers. What about my date?

"Shit!" I hiss.

I violently open the door and frown my eyebrows as the lights blind me.

He's just here gazing at me. Two beers in his hands. One of them is half empty, the rest being displayed on my dress.

"I'm so sorry!" I say embarrassed as ever.

He smirks. "No worries." He hands me the full glass of beer.

I give him a questioning look as I grab it. What about the other one? Oh, right—He's drinking it.

"What's your na—"

I stop him.

"I know who you are." I peer down. "I'm sorry I didn't wanna disturb you" I say as I'm walking away.

This time I'm smart enough to avoid the crowd on my way out.

"That's rude to leave without saying goodbye!" Tom shouts from a distance.

I turn around and stare at him. He's got a soft smile; he doesn't look drunk at all. I wave him goodbye.

Now, he's approaching me.

"I meant to your boyfriend" he nods in the direction of my date who was dancing with a group of other people.

"He's not my—" is all I can say before he chuckles.

"I figured."

"How?" I clench my jaw. I'm hypnotised by his hand running through his hair. And his smile. And his lips.

"I can barely hear you," he points at a booth in the corner of the room "maybe we could sit there" he suggests.

My mouth softens into a smile.

It's difficult to walk with Tom Holland. Every couple of seconds he's stopped by fans requesting a picture. And he accepts every time.

I'd never be so patient.

"What's that?" he asks.

"It must be so annoying sometimes." I tell him as I sit on the booth.

"When they're nice and ask me, it's cool." He chooses to sit next to me. I can feel his arm touching mine. My heart is racing. He uses his other arm to hold his chin; he looks at me with so much intensity. Sometimes peering down my lips.

His face is so close, but he keeps talking. I can feel his breath on my skin. I'm going to burst into flames. "But when they're taking pictures without asking first, that's delicate."

I nod. I can't really listen to what he's talking about. I'm trying not to lose control.

"So, what's your name?"

He smiles when I tell him. "Why did you leave your date alone?" he asks.

I'm so nervous I stutter. I can't find my words. "I . . . I wasn't in the mood. He knows it. I shouldn't have come here."

"I'm happy you came." He says looking me in the eyes.

I raise my eyebrows. "Are you flirting with me?"

He barks out a laugh and breaks the eye contact. He rests his head on the wall behind us.

He isn't as confident as I thought he'd be. I don't know what's up with him, but I enjoy it.

I suddenly remember he's a movie star. He's always being watched. I glance at the crowd and see flashing lights. They're taking pictures of us.

I'm getting dizzier.

I don't want to see my face on a dumb article talking about Tom Holland's mysterious partner. I don't even know him.

"This is stupid" I mumble.

Tom is intrigued. He hasn't got a clue what I'm talking about. He hasn't even noticed the fans stalking him.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go" I abruptly say as I stand up. "Have a good night."

I grab my phone and leave the venue. I'm upset because I really wish I could've met him in a different context. I open my Uber app: there's no driver available.

Shit.

How's that even possible on a Friday night? In London?

I refresh the app, but it doesn't work. I guess I'll have to walk home.

A part of me wants to go back in this bar and spend time with Tom. He's sweet and I'm sure we would've had so much fun together. I glance through the window trying to see his face one last time, but I can't find him.

"What are you looking for?"

I cringe.

"Oh, sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

It's him. It's Tom.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Going home too. The fun of the party is leaving . . ." he sighs. I smile back at him. I'm embarrassed.

I stand in front of him, none of us say a word. It's awkward. I'm getting anxious and walk away. I'm so overwhelmed.

He grabs my shoulder. "Wait, are you walking home?"

"Yeah, it's okay don't worry." I smile.

"I can drive you home."

"Sorry, but you've been drinking. I won't let you drive me." I curtly say.

He grins. He looks at one of his mates and nods.

"No way I'm letting you walk home alone," he sighs "besides, you're drunk."

"Come with me then" I instantly reply without thinking.

He nods.

What?

He's coming with me. My heart is racing. I won't survive a 30-minute drunk walk with him.

Not with his beautiful glossy eyes staring at me.

Not with my burning desire to kiss him.

[punderfulowl]

Top 10 Anime (That I've Seen) in 2020

Well now, it has certainly been awhile. I'm currently sitting at eight months too late for posting this, but, y'know, something something life happens. More accurately, I already made this list, but wanted to try out what response I'd get from Reddit. Turns out, they're not as cool as you guys!

Anyways, as the title states, this is not a list of my favorite anime that came out during 2020, but instead my favorite anime that I just so happen to see during that year. While it's fun to have an end of the year retrospective, I find that having a list in this format not only adds variety, but also helps bring attention to anime that might have been lost in the shuffle in previous years (I also don't have enough time to stay caught up in seasonal releases).

Honorable mentions:

Aggretsuko S3, My Hero Academia S4, Today's Menu For the Emiya Family, Interspecies Reviewers (yes, really), and I Couldn't Become a Hero So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job

10. Maid-Sama (2010)

In hindsight, I find it a bit funny that I wanted to watch something wholesome to kick off 2020. Anyway, Maid-Sama is about a high school girl that is also a no nonsense Class President and she kind of has to be at a school where, until recently, was an all boys school. While she kills it in academics and is good at shutting down any shenanigans from the male student body, her financial situation isn't the greatest and has to balance a job at a maid cafe along with her school-related responsibilities. She does her best to hide her employment there to keep up appearances, but is one day found out by one of the boys who happens to be a big flirt and, yeah, hijinks ensue. While this anime doesn't have too many surprises, our main leads bounce off each other well enough to keep me entertained. Nothing I haven't seen already in other anime Rom-Coms, but I think it has more than earned its place at the start of this list.

9. Haganai NEXT (2013)

It's a personal rule of mine when making these lists that I don't include sequels of shows that were in previous lists. While I DID see the first season of Haganai a couple of years ago, it didn't quite make it into the top ten at that time. Because of that, it meets the criteria for this year's list. While I found the characters were just as charming here as I did during the first season, the development of their relationships really took off. It's a shame that it will most likely not get a third season, but I'm happy with what ride this show gave me. But hey! At least I can read the light novels/manga to continue the story! Wait, nevermind, the Haganai fans on Reddit are saying that's a bad idea.

8. Engaged to the Unidentified (2014)

Based off of a Four Panel joke manga, Engaged to the Unidentified tells the story of a girl in high school suddenly getting some life changing news. As it turns out, her grandfather made an arranged engagement with her and the son of a family he knew. Next thing she knows, the boy in question, as well as his little sister, moves into her family's house! While the boy is unassuming at first, there may be more to him and his family than he lets on. Plain and simple, this anime has charmed me. There's a decent amount of drama and mystery despite the source material and I applaud it! Even though this also doesn't have much new to offer, even to the point where I would compare this to Maid-Sama, what made me pick this at the 8th spot were the color choices and animation quality. Give this a shot if you can!

7. Grimoire of Zero (2017)

It's a fantasy/adventure story starring a loli sorcerer and a huge, anthropomorphic white tiger man. I honestly can't say anything else. I won't be able to do it justice. That first sentence should intrigue you a lease a little bit. Read it, again. Please check it out. It's an underrated gem that no one is talking about.

6. ID: Invaded (2020)

Hey, here's something recent! Unfortunately, this is also not something I can say much about. There may not be too many deep characters and the secret bad guy isn't hard to figure out, but BOY is this anime cool! The best way to describe this series is that it's like the movie Inception, but instead of brain heists, it's brain murder mysteries.

5. Carole and Tuesday (2019)

A runaway rich girl has a fated meeting with an orphan and they decide to make music together...oh, this also takes place Mars. Joking aside, this show was something special with its music (a new song almost every episode no less), interesting setting (freaking Mars, dude), and endearing main cast. Shoot, the music itself would be top 3, maybe number 1, but what bogs it down is the show's second half. I can easily see myself watching this again someday, and maybe my opinion will lighten up, but for now, 5 is a dang good spot.

4. Fate/Grand Order: Absolute Demonic Front - Babylonia (2019)

Part of me hesitates placing this high up on list due to this show being animated, fan service spectacle for Fate fans. However, that hesitation is overshadowed by the fact that I am a Fate fan myself and I can do whatever I want with this list. Even if you're not a Fate fan or play FGO, if you enjoy some solid fight animation, this is worth a look.

3. K-On S1 (2009)

I'll admit it, I might regret not watching the second season then putting the series on the list as a whole, but this how I've been doing these lists and I'm such a creature of habit. There's not much I can say about K-On that hasn't already been said. By itself it's an anime classic and one of Kyo-ani's biggest properties. It's a sweet and wholesome watch, but be sure to have some insulin within reach.

2. Princess Principal (2017)

Imagine you're working with a team of programmers trying to make a mobile game then all of a sudden someone asks to make a show out of it. You know, a show with different character motivations, plot, twist and turns and all that? Most might say that's just a shameless, shallow cash grab, but it turns out okay for Princess Principal. Sure, most might summarize this anime as, "cute girls doing espionage things," but with its cast, visuals, and interesting alternative timeline, it works! Apparently there's a new season or movie in the works and I am all for it!

1. Beastars (2019)

I was not expecting this to be number one, but with much deliberation (with myself obviously) this feels right. It tells a pretty unique story while showing itself to be the exception to the rule when it comes to 3D anime.....it being that it's actually good. While I acknowledge that shows like K-On are classics and deserves to be number one on many different lists, it didn't line up with my personal criteria like Beastars did. My biggest deciding factor is: Now that I've watched this, do I want more? It's true that while I'm excited to start K-On S2, Beastars intrigues me more and ever since season two was announced, I'm looking forward to that more.

Sorry again for this list being so late, but at least the silver lining is that the next end of the year list is about four months away (in theory)!