#ok. take it just take it i can't anymore

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Potential Ango backstory. Because I like to make connections that don't exist.

I received a tag under my last post about Ango...

I have been enabled.

What I said in that last post was that due to the disconnect between Ango's values and the values of the Special Division - in particular, their views on necessary sacrifice and the greater good - I found it odd for this to be Ango's career choice. So, I have this theory... it's really more headcanon than anything but basically, I wonder if Ango didn't choose to work there, but rather had no choice.

First off, Ango being a government agent before he joined the Mafia means that he was already one under the age of 19... which is. Well, far from uncommon in the BSD universe but... does the government itself really not have age restrictions on potential members? Ango would've been younger than 19 when he started working for the Special Division. He was 22 ish in Dark Era, first met Oda and Dazai two years earlier, and joined the Mafia one year before that. I know we like to joke that the preferred hiring age in BSD is like... 14-15, but for the Mafia, this makes sense - there's no hiring age there; most of them are or were kids with nowhere else to go. Fukuzawa hires minors who typically also have nowhere to go. Ango was really young when he joined the Special Division. Since they would, at least, have to follow some laws (I believe anyways), the circumstances of Ango's joining were probably not the usual.

Here's another weird bit: the government sent a 19 year old spy to infiltrate the Mafia, one who was too low-ranked to have any say in decisions (he had no say in their sending in of Shibusawa, for instance). That's... weird, on it's own. He had no influence but they felt certain the man wouldn't betray them or get caught? That's a lot of faith to place in him. Now, granted, he's a very reliable person and his ability is absolutely the reason he was selected - but it's still strange.

You might be thinking, okay, but what about his replacement? Tachihara was sent in after Ango so the government could keep monitoring the mafia's activities, and he was a young, new recruit. Yes, that's true but see, here's the thing: Tachihara's nature as a Hunting Dog means the government has a guaranteed hold on him - Teruko mentions that the Hunting Dogs need to undergo monthly surgeries to maintain their bodies after their enhancements. I see no reason Tachihara wouldn't have had to do the same. So, in my mind, that goes to show that they needed some kind of hold on Ango too, right? Wouldn't you want some kind of insurance on someone so presumably new?

I'm going to cut away from this for a moment so I can point out a passage from Dark Era where Oda finds how Ango (allegedly) joined the Mafia:

The gist of it was: Ango was a hacker -> he helped a gang steal money -> the money was stolen from a Mafia front company -> Ango was on the run for several months before the Mafia caught him -> Ango's manipulation of the trackers' information was so impressive to Mori that he invited Ango to join the Mafia

Obviously, this is a cover story. But at the surface it kind of has to be true, otherwise the Mafia would know. So, it was set up for Ango to help steal that money by the government. Why this particular story though? Well, they say the best lies are often rooted in truth. Before he joined the Division, I suggest that Ango really was a hacker and seller of information. (Just fyi, his real life author inspiration was a bit of a delinquent so... make of that what you will.)

Now this next part is a mess because we still don't know how all the pieces fit together.

Remember that the Special Division, and by extension the government, are considered so incredibly powerful that they could destroy the Mafia. From Dark Era:

That legal document appears to be the only thing that keeps ability users reasonably safe. Atsushi was being tracked as the "rampaging tiger" and had nowhere else to go. What about people like Yosano or Chuuya, associated with military research? Even Kenji - he was hired after he moved a mountain out of grief. It appears that the permit is a necessary protection to those ability users who reveal they are ability users publicly.

In Gaiden, Tsujimura explains that the Division also continuously monitors the activities of ability users. Essentially, in addition to the legal protection the permits provide, they also seem to make the Division's job of keeping track of all ability users, what they're using their abilities for, and how dangerous the abilities are, much easier. We also know that if an ability user proves too great of a threat to the general public, the Special Division can and will eliminate targets unless the target proves especially useful (ex. Ayatsuji).

Ok why am I going over all this? I'm just trying to make it clear how incredibly powerful the Division is. But what I also want to denote is that they are focused primarily on the greater good and will justify sacrifice of individuals (which contradicts Ango's beliefs directly), and they also take orders still from higher ups in the government (and the government in bsd is... a bit shifty if you ask me).

And about Ango: his values lie in life and an appreciation for it. He prioritizes memory and records, especially of those who have passed. He has many regrets and is, at heart, a kind person. However, he also has the capacity to do what "needs to be done", seems particularly vengeful and angry with Sigma for Taneda's stabbing, and was ready to shoot Atsushi when he collapsed after the Sky Casino arc. He also went from making deliberate stubborn efforts to create records of the dead, to being part of the cover up for a group of disgraced soldiers and one of his closest friends. He does things because he thinks no one else can do them - so this means it is his obligation.

So, finally, here's my deranged conspiracy: I think Ango was a hacker in his teenage years, and I think he always had the intention of preserving life in some way. Perhaps he attempted to make information about the war, or something to do with ability users, public. Whatever he found, he got in serious trouble, whether with a criminal organization, or with the government itself, I'm not clear on. Ango needed to join the Division for protection, and perhaps it was Taneda's idea to invite him, seeing that his ability would be very useful - that would explain the loyalty. It's also possible that Ango's actions resulted in a loss of life, and so he no longer trusts himself, which is why he is constantly torn between opposing values. I wonder if it was explained to Ango by the people in charge why certain information had to be withheld from the public, in such a way that he felt guilty for what he'd done - maybe that's why he's so diligent. It would be tragic if guilt turned out to have always been the motivator for his character and if he stands with the Division despite his offset values because he really does think they know how to better help people than his instinctive response ever could. While I'm sure the Division was confident in Ango's loyalty (one of his dislikes is written as betrayal for goodness sake), they also had a hold on him due to the nature of his ability. He is a walking store of classified information, which we are told repeatedly in Dark Era makes him a prime target. This means that nowhere is safe for him unless he stays with the Division. There is no guarantee that the government itself wouldn't also consider him a liability if he were to suddenly quit. In summary, Ango's joining of the Division was not a free choice, and while he likely feels grateful to people like Taneda for that chance - he also cannot leave.

Regardless of whether or not you all think I am wholly deranged now, there is definitely something to Ango we're not privy to yet. Here's some extra stuff on Ango to chew on:

He had the experience once of taking in so much information he passed out while his brain tried to process it (much like Atsushi did after Sigma transfers the information to him about the Page)

He had some run-in with Chuuya which apparently led to Chuuya owing him for something?

He seems to have been more comfortable defying expectations in the Mafia than he ever was in the Division

Thus concludes my Ango theory.

Source? Just trust me bro.

[randomartistlmao]

I pray for the future of artists media. NFTs, AI art, shows like the Owl House, Rise of the TMNT, Inside Job, and the deletion of soooo many good animations that WB Discovery deleted like OKKO, infinity train and so on. Its absolutely sickening for all the people who's slaved away attempting to make something for people to enjoy just to have it immediately destroyed. Anyway I'm going to go cry now-

[forcebookish]

i need a new strategy for like, cleaning my room and doing yoga and reading and leaving the house. the adhd has reached mythic levels of bad. i have the thought, "i should do X," and then i won't move. i make a to-do list and i won't do anything on it. i queue up a yoga practice and i won't do it. i stare at my room and get stressed out about how cluttered it is. i write 3000 words of notes for a fic i don't even know if i'm going to write. i think and i think and i think about my OCs and they won't let me write them. i spend hours looking at stuff i can't buy. i take like an hour to write this.

[solradguy]

Just found out the band (Sold Soul) that did one of my favorite albums ever (I Hope We Make It Out Of This Alive) split 2 years ago and all of the band members are basically ghosts that have never done other projects ever. 2,000,000 dead, innumerable injured

[im2tired4usernames]

Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die

[theothervonkarmagirl]

🍭:

I'm sitting it out today because on top of Aunt Flo kicking my ass I also got sick AND it was 90000 degrees with 200% humidity AND I made a lovely latte to enjoy on my sofa while my body eats itself and came back 2 minutes later and a FRUIT FLY HAD DROWNED ITSELF IN IT AND I HAD TO TOSS IT OUT I WANTED TO SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE

I CRIED I WILL ADMIT IT I WAS DONE

If someone could come and like shoot me in the head that would be nice

Just take me around behind the shed lol I am half dead anyway

[primatechnosynthpop]

Probably the biggest yet least consequential trial I face is whenever I see that clip of neil getting struck by lightning (or a drawing/animation based on it) getting passed around and see people commenting stuff like "he's fucking dead" I have to restrain myself from explaining the plot of unlucked to them

[euclydya]

*shakes curly awake* PLEAZE WAKE UP AND FRONT JIMMY IS DRIVING ME INSANER

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

[e-the-village-cryptid]

matilda the musical making me feel shrimp emotions

[quemirabobo]

I just realized that I've been putting too much on my plate lately and instead of getting some of that shit done all I end up with is feeling sick every week and things keep accumulating and I stress myself ten times more and I end up doing nothing, reading something to distract myself of the fucking titanic quest I put my ass on

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

butting heads with the local dsa chapter bc they don't support ranked choice voting lol

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

god that's fucking annoying. not saying what. just know that i am annoyed

[britneyshakespeare]

you know i'm usually the last person to have strong opinions on movie casting announcements but the idea of jacob elordi playing heathcliff stirs a fiery sense of indignation in my heart

[babygirlbdubs]

i hate!!! labels!!!!! i hate society's need to put every bit of the human experience into arbitrary, meaningless little boxes!!! i hate taking beautifully unique experiences and shoving them into categories that will never truly fit them!!! i hate taking people's identities and comforts and using them to invalidate their personhood and experiences!!! every single human being is impossibly unique and there will never be a single other person exactly like them and that's beautiful!!! why!!! do we have to break everything down and put it into boxes that are never perfectly the right shape!!!! we are all unique and that makes us all the same!!! let people express their personhood and define their experiences in ways that are unique to them!!!

[feroluce]

smth smth yingfeng paralleling farcille

(magically inclined long lived partner tries to defy death by bringing their short lived partner back to life/have immortality but they come out Wrong(tm) instead)

just. the parallels <3

RIGHT? Like oh my god I love the idea of it: a mortal and immortal character falling in love, and the immortal one doing something horribly taboo for them to be together forever. But maybe they fuck something up, or maybe it's just their punishment for playing god, but their now-immortal lover Comes Back Wrong.

I'm actually not caught up on dunmeshi (I get the gist of farcille from socmed, though) but I really like an Inuyasha/Kikiyo flavor to it- Mortal lover is full of rage and hatred, immortal one can't not love them, and then they romantically and dramatically die together murder-suicide style and drag each other to hell. You know, the good shit. ☆

It is one of my ideal dynamics for a bad end pairing. And I do like necromancy shenanigans with a happier/good end, like farcille style too! Just...I don't like either situation for yingyue.

I don't think there's anything wrong with playing with them that way as long as you don't pass it off as canon, like I say all of this with no judgment. But I'm picky and I like to follow canon more closely so I can't really see them in that kind of scenario haha.

It's just! Yingxing's whole deal is that he's a haughty, spiteful, arrogant asshole of a man whose life mission is to be such a damn good craftsman that he can tell all the Xianzhou Natives who looked down on him to suck his short life species dick and flip them the bird. Him being made immortal takes all the fun out of it for me and kinda removes a central part of his character. I LOVE him being petty and full of himself. He should do it more!

And I am so so dearly enamored with the relationship between him and Baiheng. I can't write her out of the whole equation, especially considering she and Yingxing both Came Back Wrong from this incident, and she was the actual intended target.

Like. He loved her. Yingxing loved her. Baiheng was so, so important to him. She's referred to as "the beloved" in Blade's character stories. He called her his bosom friend. He handmade a jade flask just for her.

Not a weapon,

not something she needed,

not something he was doing to show off,

just a flask.

Something pretty, and just for her, something that she would like and use everyday. Not a need, but a want. He did it simply because he wanted to give her a present.

She was the first person to really encourage and believe in him. She helped him come out of his shell (so all that arrogance is her fault BSMZJMS). That animated short where they went up in her star skiff together and she called him cute fucking killed me. They make me chew concrete.

And she was really important to Dan Feng too! He wouldn't have tried to bring her back, otherwise! She died saving him. And he knew what he was doing when he chose to try to bring her back as a Vidyadhara. He had to have. There's no way he couldn't have known that his life was forfeit after this. They don't let you get away with purposely breaking one of the Ten Unpardonable Sins like that.

And he chose to do it anyway. He still chose her life over his own. Dan Feng loved her, too.

He and Yingxing both worked together to try to bring her back because she was someone neither of them could bear to lose.

So if anything, I feel like yingyue is more like larcille bringing back their beloved Falin haha

But no matter who is romantically involved with who, like. It's the love between all three of them that's important.

That's the secret ingredient that makes the triumph of Falin's rebirth and the horrific tragedy of the Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae so emotional. Because these were things that could not have happened unless they all loved each other.