#ok these 'gifts as curse' questions are super interesting actually

[fuckmeyer]

oooh bestie i just read your jasper gift-as-curse analysis (agree 100%!!! it fucks severely!!!!) and in your tags you mention thinking of all of the cullen "gifts" as curses and...i am going actively insane thinking about rosalie in that frame. like? her beauty carries over! and it's a curse in that people see that first and her second and assume that she's shallow...but also that was true in her human life as well and becoming a vampire seems like it maybe allowed her to transcend that and realize what was fucked up about her human experience??? WILD

Rosalie's gift is also a curse, but unlike Jasper's, i find it heartbreaking

it's a curse in that people see that first and her second and assume that she's shallow

VERY true. but the consequences of extreme beauty go beyond people chalking her up as shallow.

part of Rosalie's curse is that there are many aspects of her life where her looks play a role. & going through life requires either a degree of illusion or a degree of doubt.

for example: how many times as she been given— or been overlooked for— opportunities or merit because of her attractiveness? how many relationships has she tried to make, only to find the foundation of said connection was built on— or marred by— her looks? if Edward bothered to see past what he perceives as Rosalie's vanity, would they be closer as siblings? or, put another way:

In the first second that Emmett saw Rosalie, he saw a goddess whom he had worshiped without cease ever since. (Midnight Sun, Ch 6)

i'm not saying Emmett's love isn't real. but it's also clear he's immediately attracted to Rose physically; even decades later, their love is described as "intensely physical" (Ch 7). worshiping implies a degree of separation; there's a pedestal, a blindness, in the kind of love Emmett shows her. if she was average-looking, would he love her as she is, as an equal, without worship? would he even give her a second glance?

part of the curse is never knowing what's real. either she lives with a degree of doubt, or she lives with a degree of illusion.

another part of Rosalie's curse is that she also falls into the trap of seeing her face first and herself second. now, do i think Rosalie is vapid & a "stagnant pool of few surprises" (Ch 1)? no. she has a personality, she has hobbies outside of tending to or enhancing her beauty. but we do see her mesmerized with herself:

She’d caught sight of her profile in the reflection off someone’s glasses, and she was mulling over her own perfection. No one else’s hair was closer to true gold, no one else’s shape was quite so perfectly an hourglass, no one else’s face was such a flawless, symmetrical oval.

& we also see her play up her beauty in the vehicle she drives & the clothes she wears. she cannot look away from herself.

however, this is where i think we see yet another facet of Rosalie's curse. that is, being the most gorgeous vampire of the Cullens, there is a degree of intense scrutiny that comes with Rosalie's beauty. for all the illusion/doubt it brings her, she must be constantly aware of it. because this scrutiny is two-fold:

1) unlike someone like Alice who can pass as androgynous & is overlooked physically, Rose does not have the luxury of breaking traditional gender expectations lest she draw even more attention to the coven. in a sense, Rosalie is under more pressure to flawlessly perform the rituals of gender conformity because anything outside of the norm will be noticed more easily.

2) beyond that, the degree of attention she receives means she must constantly perform in a human sense, too: twitching, blinking, moving, behaving, etc. in this way, her looks become a hindrance to her vegetarian lifestyle.

so, she is cursed in that she's the face of the Cullen family & under pressure by the coven & society to perform. even if she wanted to escape her beauty, she cannot.

becoming a vampire seems like it maybe allowed her to transcend [her beauty] and realize what was fucked up about her human experience

but it kinda...didn't?

don't get me wrong, it did in some sense. as mentioned, Rose has picked up hobbies, dreams, & a personality. we do see her transcend her appearance; however, her beauty still traps her for the reasons above.

& to be honest with you bestie, it wasn't vampirism that allowed her to transcend her beauty. because if she had been turned, say, the day she got engaged, what kind of vampire would we see? her final days, her looks gave her everything she wanted, & now she ends up as the most ravishing creature on earth in the socioeconomic class she wanted. Rosalie wins. i'm not saying she would have wanted vampirism if she had been turned in better circumstances. but she would certainly be more divorced from reality, & i doubt she would find it as necessary to transcend her beauty since it got her what she wanted & confirmed her worldview.

it wasn't the vampirism that allowed her to transcend her beauty. it was the rape.

the rape tears the curtain back. the rape shows her all that glitters isn't gold. the rape teaches her that in the end, her beauty couldn't, & would never, save her. the rape tells her what a woman's place is in her world. the rape forces her to realize: for all Rosalie's beauty, she is awarded nothing, she is entitled to nothing, she can do everything right & still lose. the rape is what necessitated a change in Rosalie's beliefs.

i find Rosalie's curse heartbreaking because i do not doubt she has thought about this when she looks in the mirror.

she's more attractive now than ever, but that is what put her in that position in the first place. she's come to this horrific realization at an even more horrific cost. & everyone around her compliments how beautiful she is; everyone dreams about how wonderful their lives would be if only they could be so beautiful; everyone wishes they could be as beautiful as Rosalie Hale...

meanwhile, Rosalie sits with the uncomfortable idea that the thing that gave her everything she wanted is the same thing that led her to her rape, to her death— hell, Carlisle figured she'd make a good wife for Edward, so even her turning was a result of her beauty— & is now the very thing that traps her in a life she never wanted, performing eternally in a spotlight that will never dim.

[lamialamia]

Hi there! Secret Santa back with a second message for you.

First of all, thank you for your answers last time, they have been very helpful! I’m still in the process of outlining your fic (I randomly got a shit ton of new ideas and have spent this morning organizing them into a semblance of coherence). It’s been so fun to build this world for you. I thought it would be a struggle since it’s not territory I’ve explored before, but it’s actually been a relief with how fresh it feels to try something new!

That being said, I have a few more questions before I dive into actually full-on writing :)

1. I did some completely normal and not at all weird stalking of your profile and saw your reblog of Sledgfu headcanons, one of which was your idea that Snafu nudges Sledge’s neck. Immediately that sparked something for me and I would love to include that hc in your gift, but I wanted to ask your permission first since it was your idea! It feels a bit too much like theft for me to just use it without checking first haha!!

2. Are you at all interested in receiving the work as a gift on Ao3 when it’s published (as in I actually dedicate it to you and gift it to you)? It’s totally okay if you don’t want a gift work and would just like the link, but I just thought I’d ask in case you want it to feel more like an actual present!

3. And finally, as I’m sure you can tell, I am like…incapable of shutting the fuck up. What I mean by this is that the outline for your gift is already 1.6k words of literal bullet points of underdeveloped ideas and dialogue, so the fully fleshed out and written fic might end up being a bit lengthy (though I intend to keep it as a oneshot). Is this something you’d like me to try to tone down on? I know not everyone is interested in reading something super long LMAO. Just let me know either way, I’ll do my best!

And that’s all the questions! :)

Also, this is just something amusing that happened during this process: my original summary for the fic was almost identical to one of yours, completely by accident. I’m so glad I went and checked out your writing before I ended up leaving it like that. That would’ve been so embarrassing lmao

P.S. Your header image makes me laugh every time I see it, love it!

P.P.S Your tags on my first ask made me so happy! :)

Sorry for bombarding you once again, and I look forward to hearing from you!!! 💞

Hey Secret Santa!!!! <3

I know that feelings when a fic idea gets out of hand, I have been there, I have done that. It's a blessing and a curse lolol

Ok, about your question:

1/ Yes. My hc is not a property but like dandelion seeds I blow into the wild. Anyone can catch it and blow it away. This metaphor is weird. Anyway, yes, pls use any headcanon on my blog as you wish.

2/ Yes. You can gift me the fic on Ao3 :D

3/ As long or as short as you want to write. I love long fic, I love short fic, I love medium fic. Because fanfic is a labor of love so any length is perfect <3 I mean, the fic I'm writing for my giftee is getting long too! but it's about the story and not the WC, ya know.

Thanks for everything <3 love ya

[ginazmemeoir]

okay so i know you're super interested and knowledgeable about mythology, so i thought that there's no harm in asking for help, right?

i kinda have to do a 60+ page project on the Mahabharata and the role of women in Mahabharata. do you have any fun facts or anything? all of it will be greatly appreciated

 ok the reason this has taken me a significant time to respond is because i was thinking - what best way to answer this. so i have chosen the analysis of different aspects of their lives, rather than do a full character-by-character analysis cause that would end up being a full fledged book. also this is still gonna be like 6 pages. so here we go.

1. BIRTH : 

Most of the women in the Mahabharata have an unusual birth, all predestined to do something. Ganga is said to be born from Vishnu’s feet and descended form the heavens. Urvashi and Menaka were the Queens of the Apsaras, born from Brahma’s thighs. Devayani and Sharmishtha were the daughters of Shukracharya and the asura king Virupaksha respectively. Shakuntala was Menaka and Vishwamitra’s daughter, who was found abandoned beneath some flying cranes. Satyavati was born out of a fish which ingested a king’s sperm and was then adopted by the chief of fishermen. Gandhari was born to bear a hundred sons, which she requested from Shiva in her previous birth (some also say her present birth). Amba was reborn as a transman after she burnt herself alive to have revenge on Bhishma. Draupadi was born out of literal fire, cursed to bring the destruction of a thousand clans, and gifted to marry five husbands, each with a quality she wanted. Subhadra was born as an incarnation of Yogamaya, while Kripi (Drona’s wife) was born from a deer.

2. LOVE AND MARRIAGE : 

There is a pretty contrasting change in the way women choose their partners, and got married in the Mahabharata. This reflects their declining status in society.

Urvashi and Menaka have had several affairs and marriages. Urvashi left Pururavas when he failed to fulfill her conditions, and later asked her descendant Arjun to have sex with her. When he refused, she cursed him to become a transwoman for a year, which he could choose. 

Devayani and Sharmishtha ended up getting married to the same man. Devayani’s husband Yayati, whom she married out of love, cheated on her with Sharmishtha. Devayani, however, had Yayati cursed with sterility and old age as revenge. So technically, women also had a right to a divorce i guess? not officially, but they could definitely leave their husband’s house or humiliate him.

Shakuntala marries Dushyant through the gandharva rites, with the forest as her witness. Their conflicting accounts about the end of her story - Vyasa states that mortified by her indignation at Dushyant’s hands, she leaves him with her son and returns to the forest. Kalidasa states Dushyant ends up remembering her and bringing her back as his lawfully wedded wife.

Ganga is the first wife of Shantanu, and she married him only on the condition that he would never question her. Finally, when he stops her from drowning their eighth son, she breaks her marriage and goes away with the child who grows up to be Devavrata.

Satyavati actually has two meaningful encounters - once with Parashara (son of Vashishtha) and the other with Shantanu. With Parashara, she was ferrying him across the Yamuna when he professed he wanted to have sex with her. Satyavati agreed on two conditions - if she gets pregnant, she would deliver within a day and the child wouldn’t be her responsibility and secondly, Parashara would grant her any boon she wanted. Thus, she gave birth to Krishna Dwaipayana Vyasa (the dark skinned boy born on an island) who was brought up by Parashara, and plus got blessed by an intoxicating smell. With Shantanu, even though she was young enough to be his daughter, she holds up a condition that only her children would inherit the Kuru throne, to fulfill which Devavrata takes his terrible oath and becomes Bhishma. Only then does she marry Shantanu. She literally forged her own destiny and had control over her decisions, something which she herself denies later to other women.

Satyavati orders Bhishma to abduct the three princesses of Kashi - Amba, Ambika and Ambalika, as brides for her drunkard son Vichitravirya. Thus, she snatches away the same freedom of marriage she had enjoyed. Amba resists her abduction, however ends up being rejected from her boyfriend King Shalva, for she was now “another man’s property”. She demands Bhishma marry her to salvage her honor, which he denies due to his oath of celibacy. Satyavati could’ve made him break the vow, which she doesn’t. Amba goes to all the kings in the world, seeking one who would salvage her honor. None do, for all are afraid of Bhishma, so she curses all that their lineages would go extinct in a war fought to salvage another woman’s honour in another time. Finally she approaches Parashuram, Bhishma’s teacher. Enraged, Parashuram fights Bhishma but realizes that their fight could end the world. That is one Amba burns herself alive, and curses Bhishma that she would be reborn, and reclaim her revenge. Later, Satyavati forces Ambika and Ambalika to undergo niyog with Vyas after Virya’s death (niyog was practiced when a man died without an heir, so another male member of the family was called to produce an heir with the widow). Thus she also snatches the same sexual freedom which she enjoyed from her daughter in laws. Some say this was also a part of Satyavati’s plan to ensure that only her lineage sits on the throne, because biologically Vyasa is Satyavati’s son, and not Shantanu’s, thus making the children he fathered Satyavati’s blood, and not Kuru blood as they legally claim.

Kunti was forced to have a child with Surya, just because of a childish boon she wanted to try out. Later, she choses Pandu, Ambalika’s son, from a select swayamvara of princes. She couldn’t have chosen another man as others before her had.

Satyavati yet again snatches the same freedom she took for herself. Bhishma is ordered to march to Gandhara and get it’s princess, Gandhari, as a bride for the blind prince Dhritarashtra. When her father Subala resists, Satyavati has him destroy the entire kingdom and kill all of Gandhari’s family, sparing her and her youngest brother Shakuni. Thus Gandhari has no say in her own marriage, for the first time in the Kuru dynasty. Even her act of remaining blindfolded in solidarity with her husband is often pedestalized, the pain behind it overlooked. This is also what gives birth to Shakuni’s burning thirst for revenge and the destruction of the entire Kuru dynasty, just like his family was killed in front of his eyes. One has to understsand that the Mahabharata was simply the sum of past sins and curses and boons and births. Pinning it on Draupadi, who was the last character in this play of power, reduces this epic’s magnificence.

Duryodhana’s marriage with Bhanumati is like the typical fairy tale we hear - she specifically tells him to abduct her and marry her so she doesn’t end up marrying some random dick she doesn’t even know. Again, the woman is in control of her marriage, however the fact that a marriage is being forced on her comes to the fore now.

Hidimbaa, Bhima’s first wife, was a rakshas princess and she marries Bhima by having him kill her brother who wanted to eat him instead. Hidimbaa never goes with Bhima, and instead raises her son Ghatotkacha single handedly and looks after her queendom. This shows a major shift in the status of a woman - the so called “civilized” society keeps reducing the freedom and space given to them, while tribal customs continue to uphold individuality.

Draupadi’s marriage symbolises the status of women perfectly at the time. She’s not a woman with a say in her marriage - instead she’s reduced to a prize, a political alliance to be won in an archery competition. Had Arjun not won, Draupadi would’ve had to keep her head down and just marry the other person because she has no choice.

Subhadra’s marriage is in stark contrast. Arjun is her second cousin (barf) and she abducts him from her own wedding (which was happening to Duryodhana) and marries Arjun with Krishna’s blessings. Subhadra takes the same freedom that Draupadi was never offered. Also, Draupadi and Subhadra would become Arjuna’s only wives - none of his other “companions” would get the same title or status.

Dushala is married to Jayadrath, king of Sindh. The marriage was an unhappy one.

Balarama’s daughter Sulakshana runs away with Ghatotkacha’s help and marries her first cousin Abhimanyu, while Uttara is offered as a political alliance. Again there’s a stark contrast between the two, and it holds a mirror to society - how once the same freedom offered to women had now become a thing of legends.

3. POLITICS AND AMBITIONS

Devayani had wanted to snub Sharmishtha her whole life because of the one major fight they had which she lost. Being the daughter of Shukracharya, Devayani had more resources at her disposal, and she makes good use of them by transforming Sharmishtha, a princess, into her slave. Later, she also makes sure Yayati is punished for his adultery.

Shakuntala played kingmaker - according to the Mahabharata she went back to the forest only after securing her son’s right to the throne. According to Kalidasa, she has no ambitions whatsoever.

Satyavati’s political ambitions have already been discussed above - her rise to power, her way of ensuring that only her blood claims the throne, and the fact that she was willing to do anything for what she wanted. Another factor into this is caste - Satyavati is often ridiculed as Daseyi (daughter of a slave) and is discriminated against because of her caste as a fisherwoman.

Amba’s ambitions have also been discussed above - her burning desire for revenge. When she is reborn as Shikhandi, she deliberately has her gender changed before her marriage so that she transforms into a man.

The tussle between Kunti and Gandhari for power is an actual stuff of legends. While Kunti is mostly projected as a hapless widow raising five boys, most people forget that she’s a powerful princess, and was originally the Empress of Hastinapur, later turned widow. She knows the deadly game of politics and it's nuances, and the same goes for Gandhari. According to the epics, the game played between these two queens was subtle, and not open. For example, Gandhari had took over Kunti’s quarters and had her sleep close to the servant’s quarters. Kunti too secures her own future by convincing Bhishma to back her and her son’s claim to the throne. One famous tale recounts that during a particular festival, Gandhari calls in a hundred elephants covered in gold for the worship. Since Kunti has no resources of her own and instead has to use toy elephants made of clay, she asks Arjuna to do something, who promptly goes to the heavens and brings back Airavata, the king of all elephants and Indra’s vahana, for Kunti. This rivalry comes to the open when the kingdom is divided and the wastelands and forests, Khandavaprastha, is handed to the Pandavas. Kunti accuses Gandhari of deliberately giving the useless part to her sons, while Gandhari accuses her of nurturing the wish for the throne in her sons’ hearts. This rivalry, however, comes to an end with the war, and both reconcile.

Kunti is also shown to be heartless/overprotective when it comes to her kids, which is understandable given the circumstances in which they were brought up. However, that doesn’t justify the fact that she made Bhima leave Hidimbaa in the forest. It also doesn’t justify the fact that originally, when she got to know that she and her sons were to be burnt alive in the Varnavata Summer Palace, she burnt alive another mother and all her children who had come there from the forest as guests, along with the caretaker Purochana who was in on the plan, as a cover so they could escape. It also doesn’t justify her making Draupadi marry all five brothers so there could never be “a fight over a woman”. Her masterstroke, however, comes during the War. What I believe is, she should have told Karna the entire truth and accepted him the moment she saw him. However, she waited, and then finally when the War arrives, she tells him the truth and emotionally manipulates him. Softening Karna’s heart, she protects four of her sons, and she had enough faith in Krishna to protect the fifth. It could also be genuine affection, but I refuse to believe that.

Draupadi has to face a much tougher life though. Kunti had already tied her to all five brothers as their “mutual” wife. One can only imagine the pain and endurance she goes through, battling her in-laws and her own family. She later has the Pandavas promise that no other wife of their could get the title of wife or the status, and couldn’t enter the Kuru household or Indraprastha. Even Subhadra was never allowed inside Hastinapur and Indraprastha, and instead spent her entire life in Dwarka. Her “laugh” at Duryondhana’s stumble in Indraprastha could be genuine fun, and also her own way of getting back at him for all those years of injustice. In the forest during exile, she has to keep all her wits about her, as she encounters wrathful sages, vengeful spirits, and kings with ill intents. As a hairdresser, she had virtually no power and so could do nothing herself when the queen’s brother, Kichak, tries to rape her. However, she invites Bhima over (who’s living as a cook) and he easily kills Kichak. What’s really infuriating is the way people pin the entire carnage that follows on her head - essentially victim shaming. People say “so what if she was disrobed publicly? does that mean she would destroy that entire clan, who stood mum and watched?” Yes. Yes it does. And you can’t give the excuse “she is fire’s daughter” and all. NO. Then, she wasn’t the weapon summoned to destroy a thousand clans, daughter of fire, Empress of Indraprastha or Princess of Panchala. At that moment, she was a woman being disrobed publicly. A woman lost in a wager like cattle. Nobody rose to defend her, except Vikarna, a Kaurava and Krishna, the man she regards as her own brother. This is what makes a bold statement about women - she’s no longer a person, but a commodity to be owned by someone. It reflects the rot and decay of our society, which increases day by day. What I believe is, Draupadi’s demand for retribution is perfectly justified - her wish to bathe in the blood of the one who disrobed her, dragged her by her hair all the way to the Imperial Coury, perfectly justified. Her wish to see the corpse of all those who stood silent as she was being disrobed, or those who mocked, pile up in the great blood soaked field of Kurukshetra. Her heart however melts the instant she sees the “great army of widows and orphans” who arrive at Kurukshetra.

4. CHILDREN

A recurring, patriarchal theme in all Hindu epics is the fact that a woman’s happiness was linked to her children, most of all sons.

All of Devayani’s five sons were banished and cursed when they refused to take up their father’s old age and sterility while in their youth. The same fate awaited Sharmishtha’s sons. Only the youngest, Puru, agrees and is then pronounced king after a thousand years, when Yayati returns him back his youth. Moreover, Devayani has to give her daughter Madhavi to a priest on Yayati’s order, who is later raped by four kings as a teenager and gives birth to four great sons. These sons are later asked to give up a quarter each of their merit earned on earth to Yayati, who was denied passage to heaven for all of his sins. This shows the fact that Indian/South Asian society continues to be dominated by those before us – our parents and their parents – and we have to comply. This is in contrast with Western philosophy, which makes way for the younger generation. In South Asian society, both have to co-exist, with the older often domineering.

 Ganga’s sons were actually the eight Vasus who were cursed to live terrible lives as humans. By drowning seven of them the moment they are born, Ganga ensures that they spend minimum time in the mortal realm and return back to the heavens. The eldest, Prabhas, was cursed to live the most terrible life of them all, which ends up happening - Devavrata, later Bhishma, couldn’t be killed after birth. He lives a terrible life - a prince reduced to a slave of the throne, innocent blood on his hands, no family of his own, and he couldn’t even decide whom he wanted to fight for. This shows the theme of overlapping stories, something which keeps recurring in Hinduism in general.

Satyavati’s elder son Chitrangada was killed in a war with the gandharva king, Chitrangada. Her other son, Vichitravirya, gave himself up to wine and intoxication and died young. Her son with Parashara, though, outlives till the time of Janmajeya, Arjuna’s great grandson. Krishna Dwaipayana Vyasa ends up compiling all the Vedas and writing the famous Mahabharata. He also keeps coming here and there in the epic, for example Satyavati inviting him to perfrom niyog forcefully with her daughter in laws and produce heirs.

Ambika had her eyes shut the entire time during her rape/niyog, and so the child born - Dhritarashtra, was blind. Ambalika was shaking and fearful the whole time, so her son Pandu was born weak. Vyasa had consentful sex with a palace maid, and the son born to her, Vidura, would’ve been the perfect heir. However, Dhritarashtra was denied kingship by virtued of his blindness, while Vidura was denied the throne by virtue of his mother’s caste. Pandu later retires following a curse, and so Dhritarashtra takes up the kingship. He is shown to be a spiteful character initially, frustrated that despite being the elder one and perfect, he was denied the throne because he was blind. He passes on the same frustration and poison to his children.

Gandhari’s pregnancy was special. She was pregnant for two full years, in which time Dhritarashtra had another son, Yuyutsu, through a palace maid. Gandhari’s gestation period was equal to that of an elephant, and had she had just a little more patience, she would’ve given birth to a literal god. however, frustrated with the fact that her husband had cheated on her, she kept beating her womb each night with a red-hot iron rod, until she gave birth to an undeveloped foetus. Vyasa intervenes by cutting it up into 101 pieces and “hatching” them in vats of ghee in an incubation chamber (historians and scientists say this could be the earliest documented evidence of IVF or incubation chambers), resulting in the 100 Kauravas and their only sister, Dushala. Some say that evil omens were there during their birth. This also demonstrates that a woman’s social holding was also related to the no. of children she had, especially sons. 

 Kunti had received a boon from Durvasa that she could have a child with any god she wanted. Her experimentation with the boon leads to her unwanted and forced pregnancy of Karna. Historians suspect this could be a teen pregnancy, logically, and ill equipped emotionally and physically handle a baby at that stage in her life, she cast him away in the river (still unjustified i think). This baby grew up to be Karna, filled with resentment over his fate. Later, when Pandu is cursed with sterility and the fact that if he dares touch a woman out of love he would die, Kunti uses this boon again to have three sons from three gods – Yama, the god of death and law; Vayu, the god of wind and Indra, the king of the gods and god of rain and thunder. Historians speculate this could be a cover for niyog (mentioned above). Later, Kunti begrudgingly bestows this boon upon Pandu’s favorite wife, Madri, who begets twins from the twin gods the Ashwin Kumaras.

Draupadi has five sons with her husbands - Prativindhya (from Yudhishthira), Sutasoma (from Bhima), Shrutakarman (from Arjun), Satanaka (from Nakul) and Shrutasena (from Sahadev). None of them have children of their of their own and die a gruesome death, killed by Ashwatthama in his murderous frenzy.

Subhadra’s son Abhimanyu features more prominently in the epic. Legends say he knew how to enter into a chakravyuh from the moment he was born, but not how to exit. During the war, he enters a chakravyuh formed by the Kauravas, where he is unfairly killed - surrounded by ten men, and defenseless. He dies trying to defend himself by using a chariot wheel.

The other wives of the Pandavas suffer for a war that they weren’t even a part of. Hidimba’s son Ghatotkacha helps the Pandavas and turns the tide towards them. He grows into a strong Asura and uses his magic, and is eventually killed by Karna using Shakti, the weapon he received from Indra. Uloopi’s (Arjuna’s Naga wife, daughter of the Naga king Vasuki) son Iravan is killed before the war itself as a sacrifice to appease Chamundi, and his head is mounted on a hill so he can survey the war. The same fate awaited Ghatotkacha’s son Barbareek. Since he was the strongest warrior any side and could finish the war in a second, Krishna demanded his head as a sacrifice so that he couldn’t participate in the war, in return promising him eternal worship (Barbareek is worshipped as Khatushyam in Rajasthan). Chitrangada (Arjuna’s androgynous warrior wife, Queen of Manipur) strategically protects herself and her kingdom from harm. However, owing to a curse Ganga gives to Arjuna, Chitrangada’s son Babruvahan ends up killing his own father Arjuna and then later commits suicide. They’re both revived by Uloopi using the Nagamani.

Duryodhana’s wife, Bhanumati, also suffers. Her son Lakshmana, who was originally a poet, was killef by Abhimanyu when he was defenseless, while her daughter Lakshmanaa was raped by Krishna’s son Samba and then later married to him to save face.

Karna’s first wife Vishakha loses all her sons and commits suicide. His other wife Uruvi’s only son, Vrishaketu, is spared because he was only 9 at the time of the War and thus, lived.

Dushala’s sons die defending Sindh from the Pandavas, and only Dushala and her grandson are spared. Another account says she forced her sons to enter the war, and they all died there.

Uttara’s son Pareekshit was killed within the womb by Ashwatthama, when he fired the most powerful missile in the world, the Brahmastra, at her womb. Krishna revives the child through his powers, and then curses Ashwatthama to remain immortal, yet suffer through a thousand diseases every second for the sin of trying to murder an unborn.

Vyasa’s son Sukadev, blessed with “the memory of a parrot” memorises the entire Mahabharata.

Pareekshit is later killed by the Naga king Takshak, as revenge for the murder of his family through Arjuna’s (Pareekshit’s grandfather) hands when he burnt the Khandava forest. In revenge, his son Janmajeya conducts a powerful Sarpa Satra where all the nagas of the world are killed. The genocide is stopped by Asita, a Naga sage, who along with Sukadeva and Jaimini recited the entire Mahabharata to him and made him revive the snakes killed.

5. DEATH

Satyavati dies along with Ambika and Ambalika in the forest after taking retirement. She drowns in the very same Yamuna which turned her life around.

Amba, reborn as Shikhandi, dies in the war.

Gandhari dies heartbroken, while Kunti dies in a fire.

Draupadi dies while trying to reach heaven via the Himalayas. None of her husbands so much as even look at her as she falls to her death.

Subhadra dies with the tsunami sent by Varuna (god of the seas) which destroyed Dwarka.

The deaths of all of these women are ironic, but also demonstrate the rule of Karma .

Not much is known of the death of the other women in this magnificent epic.

I hope this serves as a good and honest reminder about the women of the Mahabharata, and helps with your project.

[sanzoline]

Tagged by: @azriona (a super long time ago! Sorry it took so long to answer!)

Rules: create your own post, copy and paste the questions, and tag however many people you want to get to know better

Relationship status: Blissfully single =)

Favorite color: Mint green, dark purple, sage green, dark green, so many shades of green, light blue, dusty pink

Lipstick or chapstick: I prefer chapstick, though I have several lipsticks that I actually really like

Last song I listened to: Currently listening to Next Up Forever by AJR cause I put the Neotheater album on, I just finished listening to the Zombies on Broadway album by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness, though so I guess the last full song I listened to was Birthday Party

Last movie I watched: Back to the Future =) I finally got my roommates to watch it! Part 2 is next! They have never seen it!

Three ships: Takeru/Hikari, Yamato/Sora, Mimi/Jou, Jou/Bike Girl, Mimi/Miyako, Miyako/Ken and Miyako/Daisuke from Digimon Adventure, Rey/Finn from Star Wars, Danny/Lindsay from CSI: NY, Aloy/Talanah or Aloy/Erend from Horizon Zero Dawn, Gabriel Crowther/Science from the Crowther and Westerman mystery book series, Radar/Nurse Kellye from M*A*S*H, Bob/Betty and Phil/Judy from White Christmas . I don't care that that was too many

Book I’m currently reading: OMG SO MANY! Minders by Michele Jaffe (For myself, its only ok), Jaxxa Rakala by Bryan Caron (For a book club with my friends, it’s not the best, but hopefully it’ll get better), American Sherlock (For a book club with my coworkers, I haven’t quite started it yet, but I am excited for it), Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans by John Marzluff and Tony Angell (For myself, it is SO interesting), Tiger’s Curse by Colleen Houck (With my best friend, it is pretty good, I am looking forward to the second book), and finally I am listing to the Life of Pi audiobook by Yann Martel (For me again, it is one of my favorite books and I wanted to listen to the audio book just because)

Tagging: @hobbit-with-tea , @staringvoids, @citrus-cactus, @sifr-senpai, @digidestinedninjaofsunshine

[palimpsessed]

The Welsh Red Dragon, Kurt Vonnegut, and Social Activism

The inspiration behind Shepard’s pins

(original post with full artwork here.)

So, I spent A LOT of time thinking about the kind of pins our good friend Shepard (from Omaha, NE) would have on his denim jacket. Like a lot. Like an obsessive amount of time. I made a list, which seemed appropriate for this fandom. And because I’m a nerd and this sort of thing really interests me, and I’m proud of what I came up with, and because I think some of these items open up the possibility for some good, good literary analysis, I decided to make a whole post dedicated to Shepard’s pins. You’re welcome.

First, a little bit about my thought process. How did I decide what kind of pins to give Shepard? Well, he’s a guy full of stories. Stories that he can’t wait to tell anyone and everyone. And stories that others (mostly Maybes) have told him, once he’s earned their confidence. So, I wanted his pins to tell a story, his story in particular. What is the story that Shepard wants to tell about himself? More precisely, what is the story he wants to tell his new magickal friends on a disastrous summer holiday? The story is that of his own magickal credibility. His journey to magic (his come to Crowley moment, perhaps?) (I’d apologize, but I’m not sorry…) and his trustworthiness as evidenced by all of the Maybes he’s met along the way. He’s gotten drunk off dandelion wine with a creek dryad, given a toothbrush to a Sasquatch. spilled the tea with a jackalope, midwifed a centaur foal. Shep’s journey is just as impressive as Simon’s, and while Simon has been collecting notches on his dead dark creature bedpost (that’s a weird fucking metaphor…) (and now I’m thinking about dark creatures and Simon’s bedposts…so, you’re welcome, Basilton), Shep’s been collecting notches of the friendly variety. (Shoutout to @adamarks who did some super lovely analysis on Simon and Shep as mirrors here: https://adamarks.tumblr.com/post/188046272067/ok-so-when-shepard-said-he-was-cursed-the-first). So, I decided that I wanted to use Shep’s pins as a way to show the notches on his bedpost, so to speak. (Okay, I’m really losing this metaphor, but I think you’re still with me.)

Let’s dive in!

(I’m working my way down one side of his jacket at a time, for those following along at home.)

RIGHT SIDE

Welsh Dragon: I made this one very large, and easy to spot on his right shoulder. Of all of his accoutrements, this one felt like the most important. Mainly, because of Simon. Simon is, after all, half-Welsh. (The Mage, may he rest in pain, came to Watford from Wales.) And, of course, Simon, just like the Welsh Dragon, is a red dragon. (Or in the process of becoming one? Or a half-dragon? Or a dragon kitten?…) And the dragon that Simon and Baz fought on the Watford lawn, when they first worked together, and first shared magic, was a red dragon. Of course, the actual dragon in question here is Margaret. Shepard would absolutely have a pin to commemorate his friendship with her. And since I was going to give him a pin with a dragon, I knew I was going to have to use the Welsh Dragon because it would perfectly capture his burgeoning friendship with Simon, as well. Now, I want to go on a slight detour here (this blog post will be its own Odyssey) and talk more about the Welsh Red Dragon. I took the design for the pin from the Welsh flag, which is the thing that first made me think more about Simon’s Welsh connection. I’m not really making a point here, I just think it’s fascinating! There’s a lot of Welsh lore about the Red Dragon (and Margaret herself calls Simon “Great Red” - that ‘R’ is capitalized, by the way, so this seems to be a proper name for the kind of dragon that she thinks Simon is). Full disclosure, I am not Welsh and I am not a scholar on any of this by any means. That being said, a cursory, and super academic, perusal of the Wikipedia article on the Welsh Dragon led me to a few different history websites that linked the symbol of the red dragon with Merlin and King Arthur (son of Uther Pendragon, literally dragon head). Merlin, one of the most well-known magical figures and Arthur, one of the most well-known Chosen One figures in literary tradition. I know very little about Arthurian legend, and Welsh history, and dragon lore, though, so I’m going to just say, do a little research on your own when you’re bored and feeling nerdy!

Resist!: Shep is a young black man (and reasonable human being) living in the U.S. during the [redacted] Administration. I should hope this one is self-explanatory.

Hoover Dam: At some point in his visits to see Blue, I’m sure Shepard stopped off at the gift shop and bought himself a souvenir pin to mark the incredible experience he had making friends with an actual river. (This pin design is based on an actual souvenir pin of the Hoover Dam I found on Google Images—along with most of the other pin designs. I think it’s vintage, which just felt even more like Shepard to me, because he’s the kind of guy who would appreciate stuff that’s got a past.)

Deathly Hallows: I mean, IF the Harry Potter books/movies exist in the Simon Snow universe (which hasn’t been confirmed, as far as I know, by our Queen) I’m sure Shepard would have been totally into it as a kid, and probably would have found greater significance in its magical lore once he discovered that ACTUAL MAGIC EXISTS! So, he would have a pin to show his belief in the magickal world, and maybe also as a nostalgic reminder of when magic was still just something fictional he could turn to for escapism (and not something that would result in being cursed by a demon…).

The Truth is Out There: So, I know virtually nothing about The X-Files (my sister was obsessed with it to the point that she wanted to become a FBI agent for a few years, but I never watched it), but I’m sure Shepard is a fan. If nothing else, the sentiment is awfully apropos.

So It Goes: This one is very hard to see. It sort of looks like a black teardrop with a bar on top of it (it’s supposed to look like a bomb). The pin I based this off of reads “So It Goes”, which from my very superficial research, is a line repeated in Vonnegut’s anti-war novel Slaughterhouse-Five every time someone dies. I don’t know anything more about it, other than that it is a Kurt Vonnegut-inspired pin available for purchase on Etsy, and Shep mentions that he wanted to get a Vonnegut quote tattoo, even though “everybody has those.”

Green Alien Head: You will never be able to convince me that Shepard does not 10,000% believe in the existence of aliens. If he were still in the U.S. during the Area 51 Raid, I’m sure he would have stopped by, just, you know, for science…(I’m thinking he was probably still in the UK, but I guess we’ll see in AWTWB.)

Centaur: This one is also hard to see, but I took the design from a pin I found of one of the centaurs (the blue-haired, blue-bodied one, if that rings a bell for you) from Disney’s Fantasia. (Fun fact: I was super into Fantasia as a littlun, and I attribute my lifelong love for classical music in large part to the centaur sequence and my latent lesbianism—I mean, it was ludicrously erotic. Watch it sometime and tell me it would not make an impression on a sapphic three-year-old.) Midwifing a centaur foal was probably a very emotional and formative experience for Shepard. Buying this pin would be his way of remembering that experience, and the excitement and gratitude he likely felt to have been entrusted with that kind of acceptance from the centaur(s).

Jackalope: It doesn’t help that this pin is almost the same color as Shepard’s jacket, but it’s based off a design of a jackalope’s head that, again, I found on Google Image search (honestly, I don’t know how I ever made art without it). We know that Shepard once got some gossip from a jackalope, who vented to him about magicians calling “themselves ‘magicians’”, like “they’re the only ones with magic”. (This is totally irrelevant, but I always think of Americans when I read this. I am an American, by the way. America is a continent, but those of us living in the U.S. calls ourselves Americans, like everyone else living in America doesn’t matter.) Anyway, the jackalope offered Shepard some valuable insight into the political workings of the magickal world, so it gets its own pin.

LEFT SIDE

Pansexual Pride Flag Pin: I mean, technically, canonically, we don’t know what Shepard’s sexuality (or asexuality) is, but I just get some vibes from him. Plus, if we take him as a mirror for Simon (who is somewhere on the bi-plus spectrum), it’s not a far cry to imagine he also identifies somewhere on that spectrum.

Pentagram: This is another symbol that I chose based on my interpretation of Shepard’s character, and not so much on a Maybe or a story that he mentioned. The pentagram, or pentacle, is typically associated with the occult and witchcraft, which is something that could potentially also be said of Shep.

Sasquatch: You don’t go backpacking—or not backpacking—and introduce a Sasquatch to the benefits of dental hygiene without getting yourself a souvenir of the hike.

I [heart] Mystery Spot: The Mystery Spot is a weird sort of phenomenon in California (my home state). It’s a place outside the beach town of Santa Cruz that boasts of a “gravitational anomaly” on its website. I went once, years ago, and while you’re there, it can feel pretty convincing. (Also, I was probably like 10, so…) People outside of California will likely never have heard of this place, but driving around here (at least in the Bay Area, where I am, which isn’t that far from Santa Cruz) you’ll see yellow Mystery Spot bumper stickers on cars everywhere. I’m not really sure what the thing is with the bumper stickers. Like, I’m sure not that many people actually think it’s legit, and maybe it’s like one of those things that Californians just do (like freak out and forget how to drive when we feel water falling from the sky). But yeah, these bumper stickers are everywhere. Anyway, Shepard drives around a lot. He knows about the Vampires of Las Vegas (how is that not an indie rock band?) and the Katherine Hotel, and the Next Blood. So, he’s probably made it past Nevada and into California before. And while he was there, it’s not a great stretch of the imagination that someone who chases after magic wouldn’t wind up at a place called the Mystery Spot and get himself a pin while he was there. (And maybe even a bumper sticker.)

Black Power Fist: Unfortunately, this one is also hard to see, because the fist is black and I didn’t have anything to go over the outlines of the fingers with, which I sort of didn’t think about when I colored it. This one also feels self-explanatory. Shepard is black. Blackness has long been treated in itself as a crime by non-black members of law enforcement, and just the general racist population of the U.S. Young black men are especially vulnerable to racially motivated violence. I’m sure Shep, who drives all over the country by himself and gets into high speed chases at night in the middle of nowhere Nebraska while hunting super shifty rando Maybes has had a run-in or two. Stay safe, Shep!

Every Pronoun Belongs Here [Trans Pride Flag background]: Also, super hard to see because the letters are too small to read. I found this exact pin in a basket by the register at my local bookshop. (Support local bookshops, people!) They were being sold as a fundraiser for a LGBTQ club at one of the high schools, and I loved the idea that I could help them raise money and add this pin to my own growing collection to show off my support for trans rights. (Support trans rights and trans people, people!) I decided to give Shepard this same pin, because I could imagine him having an almost identical book buying experience in a dozen other towns that he’s probably visited. And I love the simplicity of the message, because it’s one of belonging, which EVERYONE is desperately seeking, no matter who they are or how they identify, and Shepard, and every character in this picture, is no exception. (Plus, it seemed like a cool way to connect my pin collection with Shep’s. Maybe I should have mentioned the fact that I’m also a pin person at the beginning? I walk to work and on my lunch breaks, so I carry all of my stuff in a backpack. And I proudly display my random pin collection on my backpack. Including several Simon Snow-related pins.)

Don’t Panic: This was based off a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy pin. I don’t really know anything about the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (including if it’s okay to abbreviate it as HGG? THGTTG? whatever), even though I did watch the movie years back when it was on TV and I still lived with my parents who had a TV. But the sentiment felt appropriate, and Shepard is a sort of magickal hitchhiker. Apart from managing to hold down a job at Dick Blick, he appears to lead a somewhat nomadic lifestyle. He tells Penny, “the road is my teacher”, and if that’s not a hitchhiker slogan, I don’t know what is. (Ass, gas, or grass?)

Black Lives Matter: They do. Just sayin’.

Magic Troll Doll: When I was growing up, the Troll doll was all the (nightmare-inducing) rage. Trolls are one of those magickal creatures that are continually mentioned in the series. Shepard talks about lonely trolls under bridges. Simon talks about killing trolls. Agatha would rather kiss a troll. And Baz was kidnapped by numpties, who are sort of like trolls. I couldn’t not include a troll. And the Troll doll specifically felt perfect, because the full name was Magic Troll Doll. You can bet if Shepard had to pick a troll-related pin, it would be a magic(k)al one.

[Asshole]: This is another Kurt Vonnegut pin. It looks like a messily drawn asterisk (*), but it’s actually meant to be an asshole (taken from the preface of Vonnegut’s novel Breakfast of Champions, and drawn by Vonnegut himself). I just thought, why the fuck not? So, here. Have an asshole pin. (I should have put it on a buttonhole…)

HONOURABLE MENTION

Shepard’s Phone Case: Remember that line I quoted earlier, about Shep wanting to get a Vonnegut quote tattoo? Well, when I was trying to figure out what to put on his phone case, I thought that seemed like a reasonable place to start. So, I googled Vonnegut quotes, to see if I could find one that I thought Shepard would like. Here’s the quote: “a purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.” I just loved that for Shepard.

[nightcourtstarlight]

Elriel Ice Skating

Heyy, I wrote this fic for @rosehallshadowsinger Secret Santa! I’m so happy she put this together and I hope you all enjoy! Also, shout out to my Secret Santa @kalerider  ,your blog is super cool!!! 

Word Count: 2,735

Pure sugary fluff 

@julesherondalex

It felt good to be back out on the ice, Elain thought. Freeing. Being able to glide effortlessly over the ice like a swan on a lake. She couldn’t even begin to try to remember the last time she and her sisters went ice skating. It had to have been when they were girls, way back when their mother was alive and healthy enough to teach them. Elain smiled to herself as the ringing sound of her sisters laughing with their mates reached her ears. And now as fresh snowflakes fell around her, catching on her grey winter coat and absolutely marvelous new gloves, everything was perfect.

Or, well, it would be if she could coax Azriel into actually skating with her. Her sisters had already abandoned her to skate with their mates. No matter though, she thought. The only person I want to skate with is standing at the edge of the ring, with elegant shadows curling around his form.         

Elain skated over to Az and placed a delicate hand on his leather-clad forearm. It was time, she thought, to put on the charm. The corded muscle flexed under her fingers as she looked up at him. His lips pinched together in a firm, resistant line, but Elain pressed on and said: “Will you come skate with me?”

For a moment her heart stuttered at the intense look Az gave her. She began to worry that he would say no and began to retract her hand and tentatively step back. But he caught her fingers in his and gave a single nod of his head, a small smile blooming on his lips. She took that as all the answer she needed and pulled him with her onto the ice.

 Azriel, in all the years he had lived in Velaris, had never once been ice skating at the ring erected at the center of the rainbow in the winter. But now, he felt his chest tighten as Elain pulled him on the ice as they followed the rest of their family members.

Yesterday morning, when Mor has suggested the Inner Circle go ice skating, Elain had been the first one to agree. He was surprised when she had then turned to him and asked if he would come along.

Immediately he threw out a vague perhaps, followed by murmurings of skating not being his strong suit. But in reality, as was blatantly clear now as he stumbled his way onto the slick surface of the ring, he was a horrible skater plain and simple. Elain beamed at him, cheeks rosy and snowflakes catching in her dark lashes. He could hardly breathe at the sight.

She looked like a vision in her warm looking coat and hat. So cozy and inviting. The hat, she had knitted herself. After a few lessons with Nuala of course. Azriel bit into his cheek as he finally noticed the gloves she was wearing. Black with embroidered roses and peonies around the hem. He had gifted them to her on the winter solstice last week.

Azriel’s chest swelled with pride at the fact that she liked them enough to wear them in public. He hated to admit how much time he’d put into searching for the perfect gift. Everyone would likely give her seeds or gardening tools, so he wanted to be at least a little different. In addition to the gloves, he had gotten her a few blueberry scented candles. Her favorite.

Elain has always been great at giving him the perfect gifts, so Azriel felt it was time he returned the favor. In the past, he had been held back by the question that constantly pestered his thoughts. Are we even friends? It felt silly to think that, but what if Elain only thought of him as a mere acquaintance! What if giving her a gift would seem more creepy then endearing.  But he had shoved thoughts aside as he purchased the gloves and placed them in a white gift bag.

On The Solstice he was more than pleased for Elain to pass him a delicately wrapped gift that contained an oddly shaped vest. When he inquired as to what it was, she replied that you set it by the fire to warm it up, and then put it on. The heat will warm his back muscles and wings since they can’t fit in most tubs. He marveled at the way that Elain always knew exactly what to get him. That she even paid that much attention to him at all.

But even more than that, the card that came with the gift had melted his heart the most. In the card was written a single sentence in the most delicate script.

“To my closest, most trusted friend, Azriel.”

Yours, 

-Elain

That simple card had washed any doubt as to what he was to the seer away. But it had opened doors to other things he was trying to keep at bay. Everyday it grew harder for him to resist tucking a curl behind the gardener's ear or smoothing the wrinkles from her brow as she thought.

Calderon, he cursed himself. He shouldn't be thinking that about Elain. Their friendship was tentative still at best, and he should be more than content with that. But… in the dead of night… when the shadows wouldn't stop their whisperings of Elain and he let his mind wander, If he was being honest, he harbored the forbidden hope that perhaps, she considered him more than friends.

But no... It wasn’t possible. She was mated and had a million reasons not to look at him in that same light. Though he had let go, and truly let go, of his love for Mor, Azriel wasn't completely sure where the seer and her mate stood. She deserved a good male like Vanserra anyway. Not someone broken and hardened by the cruelty of life.

She was doing so much better since the war. It had been a long hard road but he had gladly walked it with her. And he would do it all over again if it meant he could see that first smile bloom on her face like a fresh rose after the rain.

And now he felt a small smile bloom on his own face despite his shaking legs as Elain pulled them to the center of the ring out of the way of traffic. He kept his wings tucked in tight so he wouldn't throw off his precarious balance. Naturally, she was a talented skater. She had skated with Nesta and Feyre when they were girls, before the money had run out and robbed them of their skates.

Now it seemed the skill hadn’t entirely left her. While Feyre also seemed pretty steady as she leaned into Rhys, and Nesta clung heavily onto Cassian, Elain skated circles about all of them.

“I’m a bit surprised spymaster,” Elain crooed.

“At,” Az groundout, a bit harsher then he meant to. He cursed himself at the tone and vowed to speak like an actual gentleman next time.

“I expected the agile, all-seeing, shadow singer to be a bit more graceful on the ice,” Elain grinned wickedly at him as she slowly began turning them in a circle. Az’s cheeks warmed at that as he tightened his grip on her hands.

“I...ahem…I would be, if I had my boots. These skates aren’t practical for my practices. I’m not used to-“

“Don’t let him fool you with that whole skates aren’t as good as my boots story Ellie,” Cassian suddenly piped up from beside Azriel. Az whirled on him almost fast enough to make him topple, but Elain steadied him with a hand on his shoulder. He nodded his thanks to Elain before turning to scowl at Cass.

“What’s he talking about?” Elain asked warily. Oh this should be interesting, she thought. The way Azriel’s face turned from a delightful rosy bronze color to beet red no doubt meant there was a story behind that comment.  

“Az never told you about his complete lack of skating ability? He has the legs of a newborn doe when it comes to ice skating. He’s been like that since we were children,”

Elain bit back a giggle as Azriel’s lip curled in a barely restrained snarl towards his smug brother. He was in no mood to deal with Cassian’s meddling today. It took enough effort just to keep from slipping on the ice. Cassian only offered a goofy grin in return.

“Don’t worry Az. I’m sure Ellie would be more than happy to teach you how to skate,” and with that, Cassian skated off to catch up with Nesta who now glided around the ring with Amren.

Elain’s cheeks were hot enough to melt the snowflakes collecting on them at Cassian’s last comment. She’d be delighted to finally be able to teach Az something for once. Even if it was something so small as how to ice skate.

Azriel finally turned back to Elain and met her eye. He pinched his lips together in a poor attempt resist what he knew Elain was about to ask. A question of hope and mischief.

“Mother don’t say it,” he mumbled.

“I can teach you how to skate!” Elain chirped.

“That’s really not necessary El,” Azriel ducked his head to get away from her hopeful face. He knew without a doubt that if he gazed at her for even a second longer his resolve would melt like the snowflakes on her rosy cheeks. But all of that didn't matter as two gloved fingers came to rest against his chin and tilted his face back to face hers.

A small smile graced Elain’s lips as she said “I know, but I’d like to,” That left Azriel speechless. Elain continued “You’re friendship is the greatest gift I’ve ever received,” and then she added a bit sheepishly “A blessing really. But it’s time I returned the favor,”

For a brief moment, Azriel was hit with the fact that Elain knew nothing of how much her words, that simple honest sentence, released a tightness in his chest he been harboring since he first offered his quiet friendship to her. No one had ever, in his 500 years of living said his presence was a blessing. She had no idea that it wasn't him that saved her from the darkness, but she that saved him, with her light and charm.

And right now, Azriel would do-agree to, just about anything she asked. Elain had him completely captured in her spell. So he nodded yes, checking to make sure his mouth wasn't gaping open like a trout, and pulled Elain a little bit closer to him.

Elain beamed up at Azriel, heart doing backflips at the way he had pulled her closer. “Ok,” she started. “Your balance seems to be the main problem. You need to relax. If your legs are always tense then moving becomes difficult because your limbs don't want to move,” Elain scooted back a bit to get a better look at him. Az wobbled without her support but managed to stay upright. “Lower your center of gravity a bit.”

Azriel then bent his knees and squated lower to the ground. “Better, now take a deep breath and relax. Stay loose,” Elain hummed as she took both of his hands and began pulling him around the ring.

Snowflakes fell around them as they glided at a slow and steady pace around the ring. Warm lanterns surrounded the ring, casting everything in a honeyed glow. Snowflakes began to collect in Azriel’s dark locks as they spun around the circle. Elains breath caught in her throat at the sight of the lights spinning behind them and the way Azriel’s eyes held such wonder. She couldn't ever recall seeing that look on his face.

At this point, Elain couldn’t deny the fact that Azriel held a special place in her heart. A spot above mere friendship. Alas, he was in love with another, and had told her as much on the rare occasion. Though it was worth noting that he had not mentioned the kind blond haired Mor in a long time. It didn't matter though. How could she compare to someone as outgoing and caring as Mor.

She had first realized that what she felt for the shadow singer was more than platonic last spring. They were sitting in her garden by the rose bush when she had noticed something. Azriel’s wings were stretched out to their fullest extent as he sunned them in the afternoon light. The sun made them glow with a burnt orange hue. She wasn't thinking as she reached out a tentative hand and grazed it over the glowing membrane. In a flash,?? Azriel had his wings tucked in tight. Their eyes locked as he gave her a roguish grin.

“Look but don't touch, they are sensitive,” he said with a wink and flipped over onto his back in a stretch.

Ever since Elain had wondered, sensitive in what ways? But it wasn't proper for her to ponder such things, especially about a dear friend like Azriel. It was best, she decided, to not rock the boat. Telling Az about her feelings was too much of a risk.

Pure joy painted Elain’s face and sent Azriel’s mind spinning. At the way her hands gripped his and that little dimple appeared on her right cheek. At the way their family was laughing and grinning around them. He wished he could stay in this moment with Elain forever. But after a second, the smile on her face slowly faded, as if the snowflakes fluttering around were turning into fat raindrops. Azriel couldn’t bear the sight of her happiness receding like waves on the beach as she got lost in her own dark thoughts...

Without thinking, Azriel slowly straitened until he was once again towering above her. He kept his stance wide and centered, but made sure not to let his limbs lock up. The distance closed between them as Azriel pulled Elain closer. She gasped at the sudden tug and her momentum sent them spinning once again.

“Az I-”

But the words faded from her lips, smothered by Azriels own as he pressed his lips against hers in a soft kiss. Elain went tight and loose all at once at the contact. For a moment she just stood there, miraculously pressed against Azriel’s firm chest, stunned. Azriels soft lips began to retreat just as her senses finally kicked in and she recaptured them with her own.

The world spun around them as Elain tentatively brought up a hand to cup his face just as Az wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her impossibly closer. And for one short moment in this fracture universe, everything felt perfect.

That is, until Elain’s feet slipped out from under her and sent both her and Azriel sprawling across the ice. Luckily, Azriel made a nice cushion as she landed on top of him. He released a strangled oof at the weight of her, but in an instant, he was sitting up and placing a frantic land on Elain’s face turning it this way and that. Never mind the fact that she was now basically sitting in his lap. How improper it all was!

“Are you ok? I’m so sorry El. I shouldn't hav-”

But Elain cut him off by placing a tender kiss to his lips. He relaxed under her instantly and brought that arm back around her waist. A small smile broke over her lips before she was pulling away just enough to look him in the eyes.

“Don’t ever be sorry for that,” she whispered. Her breath clouded in front of her and mingled with his as she beheld those hazel eyes. “Honestly Azriel, I was hoping you would do that, but I was scared you still loved-”

“Mor,” Azriel finished for her.

At Elain’s bashful nod Azriel said “I haven't felt that way about Mor in a long time, and I- I haven't felt for her what I feel for you...ever,”

Elain had no words for what she felt at hearing Azriel’s reply. So she showed him, by pressing her lips to his once more as they sat sprawled out in the middle of the rainbow skating rink, with golden and white snowflakes falling around them.

[jq37]

I'll be the one that bites the bullet. Fantasy High episode 11--thoughts?

**spoilers for cool kids, cold case**

Hoo boy. 

That could be my entire write up honestly because, geez ya'll. 

Let's break it down. 

Sidenote, I just got mildly into Overwatch so every time I say that and I say it a fair amount, I hear Lucio in my head. 

Anyway, like I said in an earlier post, I'm now pretty sure that the bloodrush fight didn't go the way Brennan expected. Like either he didn't expect them to win or that they would win but not kill Daybreak because there was so much exposition and change and repositioning in this episode. It was a lot like the first session with all the setup. It's like he needed to get them on a new trajectory so he took an episode to time jump and change the status quo before--BAM. But we're getting to that.

In another show or even another episode of this show, the opening convo with Ragh might have been the wildest part of the ep. There’s just so much to unpack there.

Fig making him kowtow to Gorgug and everyone being like dude, stop making it weird. 

Before she did that, Emily paused and you could just see every other person looking like “What insane thing is gonna come out of her mouth now?”

Kristen getting the scoop on his super gay dreams. 

Adaine trying to get him to got to therapy (and also to realize that he's gay). 

The group whole ass making him cry for possibly the first time?

Fabian trying to shut everything down.

“You’re cumming from your eyes.”

 Kristen, please stop. I’m begging you. 

As I suspected, the group reached the point of yeah, we NEED to call Riz's mom this ep. Like, they *had* to call her. You can only realistically take shenanigans so far before it becomes straight unrealistic to not just call a responsible adult. 

And, speaking of, yay! We got to see a little of everyone’s parents just like I wanted/predicted. 

We actually got a lot of stuff from my wishlist. There’s so much time jumping and stuff in this episode I don’t even know where to start. 

This is probably the wrong place to start but I remember wondering what their Christmas equivalent was because they can’t have Christmas because of the Christ thing so when they were like Solstice I was like, oh duh. It’s literally right there. How could I miss it.

OK I guess 

Christmas Solstice party at Gorgug’s house! I knew his house would end up being the hang house.  

Sklonda handled the situation pretty close to how I thought she would. I really think Brennan was forced into a, “This adult is too responsible to not wipe out my next ten plot points over the course of a week,” corner and that’s why he had to pivot. More on that later.

Fabian just refusing to eat any of the fast food she got them.

I totally forgot Adaine has diplomatic immunity. Which actually means she’s the ideal Bad Kid to do anything shady they need done, even though that’s not really her style.

Unlike, other people

We’re getting there

I’m glad Brennan drew the line at Kristen’s parents actively being in a cult. He was like, OK no. They’re willfully ignorant but they’re not PART OF THE CULT.

I also think it’s interesting that they didn’t actually kick her out? Like they sorta kinda did but not really because it seems like she’s couch surfing of her own volition a little and staying home sometimes too? I wonder how her brothers are doing.

Both of Fig’s dads just work at her school now. I wonder is they commiserate about her w/ Goldenhoard.

I can’t believe Brennan is letting her just ruin the life of this random, full-adult dwarf doctor. Like, imagine if any adult in her life found out about that.

Brennan says bud a lot. Almost as much as he says rad.

Gorgug choosing playing the drums as his proficiency, but not well. Just, like, a simple drum beat. Bro. Why.

Adaine’s makeover!

I knew we were gonna get to see that. Or at least I really hoped we would.

And it was in boutique setting similar to what I imagined. A little surprised that she went straight for the jeans and t-shirt thing but dope. I want fan-art. 

Also, if I hadn’t already been convinced, that scene would have convinced me that Fabian got everyone the gifts (before it was confirmed later).

“You’d look nice as a sailor.” Is that like a pirate thing, bro?

Real talk, does Fabian for-real, for-real have a crush on Adaine low key?He’s complimented her looks more than once, which he hasn’t done with the other girls. They’re at a similar social class which might be a factor. And he clearly has a thing for blond elves.

WE’LL GET TO IT. 

I am Concerned about Adaine’s jean jacket, regardless of how dope it is.

Someone needs to talk to Fig about the rat thing. Possibly also Emily. 

42069 LANE (or whatever it was). I hate that I love Brennan for that.

“The worst thing about you is that you’re rich.”

But aww, Fabian. I’m glad it ended up being him (and shoutout to the anon who pointed that out to me). This is exactly the character growth I wanted from him.

When Gorthalax said that tryouts had already happened, I was legit upset for Fabian for a sec. Also, how did I know Gorgug was gonna somehow end up on the bloodrush team?

Guys I feel like there’s still a million more things to talk about.

Adaine finding out about Riz’s dad. God I hope there’s a heart to heart soon but she won’t just drop that info unless she has a really good reason.

GILEAR. I can’t believe that was him on a NAT 20. God, he has zero game. Also, imagine Fig and Riz as siblings. Lord.

The return of Tracker. I was concerned that she was in college but she’s like a Sophomore so Kristen is good to go as soon as she stops being a total disaster so actually that’s probably a moot point. 

Sidenote, kinda surprised that she’s a cleric. I thought she was off religion totally but I guess she just switched. But I feel like it’s hard to be totally non-religious in a world where gods 100% for sure exist?

Adaine going, “Mrs. Gukgak. Actually Captain Gukgak,” to her racist-ass dad gave me life. 

OK so re: the whole conversation about perditional contradoxy and treaties and war and such. How much of that was in the plan and how much of that was last minute retooling by Brennan? Because, I’m going to be honest. If it wasn’t for that comment by Siobhan, I would never have guessed that we were off the rails. But, with that in mind, this feels like the work of a GM who needs to keep the game going because things ended up moving too quickly.

It does answer the question of where the story is going now that the Harvestmen seem to be taken care of. I was a little surprised when Brennan was like, “Yeah Riz’s mom gets them all arrested,” because I’d assumed that the bad guy was going to be just the higher guy on the totem pole. 

OK, I’m sure I’m missing some things because this was a JAM PACKED ep so, if I missed something you wanted my thoughts on, please tell me and I’ll be super happy to write more words but let’s get into that scene. 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK OK OK

Before we start, I’m so pumped about all of this development but I hate how often I’m going to have to type the word Eolwyn because my fingers refuse to accept that that’s how that’s spelled.

ANYWAY

Dude, the pacing, switching between Adaine and home and the rest of the gang at the party. Like, I knew what the reveal had to be as soon as she walked in but I was still like, “Oh my God. Oh my GOD.”

Sidenote: It was very convenient for Brennan that Adaine never actually read those books because it was an easy and non-cheating way to dole out exposition now, later in the game.

What were the mechanics of Adaine not being invited to that party? Did Eolwyn specifically get her not invited? Did she actually get invited but couldn’t go because of the dinner at home? Did all her friends still decide to go, knowing she wasn’t invited? Was she OK with that? How exactly did that go down?

EOLWYN

BUSTING into that party

Magicking up a bunch of LOVE SLAVE PUPPETS

SNORTING magic coke

Playing Spin the Bottle DEATH ROULETTE 

MAKING OUT WITH FABIAN

CUT TO: I’M GOING TO KILL MY SISTER

DAMN BRENNAN, I did NOT Expect you to go THAT hard.

AND THEN IT KEPT GOING

Assuming they all live, I can’t WAIT for the, “YOU KISSED MY SISTER????” conversation. 

Which means they’ve either never met Eolwyn or only in passing and not enough to remember her. 

Shoutout to Riz for being the only person to give Adaine a heads up. 

Her eyes glow blue when she does certain types of magic so I’m just picturing her walking into that room, eyes blazing blue, ready to F up her sister (even BEFORE she finds out what’s going on).

I don’t remember if she called Eolwyn a c**t in this ep or the promo for next but I was like, “Oh damn.” Like you got her to escalate her cursing that much that quickly? Damn.

Also, I love that when she’s really upset, Adaine skips the magic and just starts hitting people. 

OK, so remember in the first ep when Eolwyn tried to have Adaine steal that book? The book that I’m pretty sure is the one they mentioned as having wards on it to keep monster stuff from happening at school? So, here’s what I want to know. Has Eolwyn always been a part of this? Because, clearly, it looks like she is right now. But it’s possible the original intent was that she wanted to get Adaine to do it as a prank, not knowing it was important and then, Brennan checked his notes while salvaging the plot and decided to work it in.  

Also, unlikely, but imagine if Eolwyn somehow induced Adaine’s panic attack during her entrance exam to Hudol specifically so she would fail, have to go to Augefort, and steal the book for her. Wouldn’t that be wild?

Idek what else to say about that last ten minutes or so that isn’t just incoherent, Ally-esque screeching.

I have to say, battle eps are never my faves but I’m looking forward to this one more than any other one so far. 

Man, I can’t believe I thought Eolwyn asking for that textbook might turn into a sister bonding moment. Lol @ past me.

Anyway, kick her ass Adaine!

[jesusandmccallforever-blog]

WHHYY AM I DOING THIS??!!

Hello there! You freaking made it to this little blog I made for Jesus!! SO stoked to have you. 

So proud of you and your curiosity in clicking on this link and checking this out. I just want you to know, as you open this blog, there is a surrounding presence of the love of God around us. The Lord Jesus Christ right now is enveloping His Holy Presence around us all in and great enormous embrace.

Whether you “feel it” or not, He is! It’s the reality of what’s going on. He loves you so much, friend, like SO MUCH. It’s actually FREAKING CRAZY how much He loves you! 

OK, so, why am I writing this blog? What is this thing?

Idk, why did you even click on it, huh?

No, I’m kidding. I know why I made this blog...and I’m about to tell ya!!!

So I woke up is what happened. I freaking woke up guys. I have been a Christian since I was 11/12 and I have strived after relationships, finding safety and security in relationships, finding safety and security in my life plan, fear of rocking the boat in displeasing my non-Christian family members by sharing Jesus with them and others, feeling convinced my worth was in relationships and whether other people liked me or thought I was good enough, feeling convinced my struggles and lack of success in relationships on many different levels was all my fault, feeling alone and in self-pity, feeling misunderstood, angry about where my life was going, angry that I didn’t go to the college I wanted, angry that my dad pressured me into an education and life plan I didn’t want, angry at my mom for the ways she criticized me growing up, secretly angry at my brothers for never loving me back as much as I wanted them to, angry angry angry, disappointed disappointed disappointed, disappointed in how it has felt like I could never get a guy to like me or be interested in me enough to want to be my man and marry me, so many expectations out of life and my life plan and so much disappointment. 

There has been a big problem here of making my life all about me when I had already known that life isn’t about me. I already accepted Christ at 11/12 and gosh did I know back then how much life wasn’t about me. 

But I still got sucked into all of this stuff and there is no judgment here if you feel like any of what I listed feels remotely like yourself. 

The truth is that all of these things come out of a desire for comfort which is so natural and human. 

But I KNOW, as a Christian, that the power of Christ and the reality of Heaven is far greater than these things. I started to realize recently how much I haven’t been giving up for Jesus. 

How I hold on to my workout plans, my eating regimen, my extra money in the bank account to buy cute clothes, my expectations for how I am supposed to find a spouse, expectations for how my life plan is supposed to go and because of that, miss out on the MASTER PLAN OF JESUS CHRIST over my life. 

The Bible tells us so many times to die to ourselves to gain our life in Jesus Christ. I think a lot of us after that first encounter with Jesus forget the reality of the power of Jesus Christ and how much He loves us. The power and strength of His love for us is UNDENIABLE. 

And, unfortunately, to have a relationship with Jesus and a life overcome by the Spirit of Christ, clinging to a life of comfort, our expectations over life and our life plan over His, we miss out on that life drenched by His presence and Living Water. 

We started to go “back to the vomit” and allow ourselves to get comfortable again. 

And hey, no judgment here, again, I know I like that comfort myself. 

But without giving up things that COSTS US SOMETHING, we aren’t going to experience God’s eternal presence or eternal perspective in our lives. 

SO, in an effort to give myself up more for Him, I’ve decided to obey His command to acknowledge Him here on earth publicly with great abundance through this blog.

I have to give up appearing cool to my non-Christian family and friends.

I have to give up being chosen by prospective clients as a photographer against other photographers because I may “appear too religious or Christian” for them.

I have to give up prospective dates with some fellers because they think “I’m too radical” of a Christian for them. But from a heavenly perspective, I know it’s worth it. 

And nothing will stop the Lord from blessing me whether that is through heavenly outpourings or even some earthly blessings as well. 

The Lord will give me everything I need and desire without even understanding what those things are. 

The more I give myself up for him in the things I understand to be things that cost me something, the more I rip open the wrapping of a present He has given me and has been dying for me to open. 

The present is a PERFECT and PLEASING plan for my life that He has in store for me. It has nothing to do with what I want but has everything to do with this crazy wild story and adventure of self sacrifice that He has written out for me. 

BUT the only way I can get it is if I do commit to dying to myself.

If I start to die to what is comfortable and easy for me, I find myself surrendering my own life expectations for this daily unknown, fun, beautiful and adventurous plan He has for me. 

When I’m in what is easy and comfortable for me, I am ignoring His plans for me that guides us through in Scripture. I am just focusing on what I like and what I want which has always seems to disappoint (remember my super long run on sentence describing my life disappointments and expectations? ^). 

And even more so, I end up missing out on this thing that is literally from heaven. Like it’s that good, it’s literally of God.

SO, to actually answer the question of WHY AM I DOING THIS?!!?! it is because I want to give myself up for Christ in this way. 

I want to acknowledge Him before man publicly so that He acknowledges me in heaven. 

I am on this quest to give up more of myself than I ever have before and I want to give up my name, my reputation and my coolness by writing this blog.

And through this blog, I hope to share with you what it means to give up comfort for Jesus in a way that is life-giving for you and me and everyone else on this earth.

To die is to gain, my friends. Let’s not forget this in this very overly comfortable American culture. Just because we have been given much does not mean that we are supposed to sit on it idly like it is our throne of glory and possessions and status. We are supposed to give it back to God. 

Don’t store up possessions for yourself here on earth. Give it back to God. Be rich towards God. 

Everything here on earth passes away. Our relationships with even our most favorite and beloved family members. Our possessions. Our reputations and/or status. Our power. Our earthly glory. Our beauty. Our economy. Our safety. 

Living a life of control of all these possessions and wealth we have here in American is a life of death inside our souls. Chasing control and trying to make life what we expect it to be here on earth will destroy us. 

Our lives will end with an inheritance we built up over many years of hard sweaty work to give to our children and to never enjoy ourselves. 

Our lives will end with things never going how we wanted because even though we have so much here in this wealthy nation, we are not ultimately in control of what happens or where life takes us. That is always up to God.

It’s better to take the risk and adventure of losing it all to God and putting the investment in the next life than to be consumed and concerned with the worries of life here on earth. 

Some of us will lose our jobs, be poor, will die too young, live a life where we lose a lot of relationships and things and status, some of us will be abused, some of us will be beaten or raped, 

but wouldn’t it be better to be the person who hurts and loses but already expects it so they put their whole life, prosperity, riches, relationships, security, and life plan into GOD’S HANDS than 

the one who holds onto it all so tightly hoping that nothing ever bad happens to them and then suddenly finds it all ripped away from them tragically and they fall to their knees in great loss yelling out to God “Why me?!” when He already told you that everything here perishes, don’t put your hope in these earthly things for they disappoint, instead put your hope in Me?

Wouldn’t it be better to be the former rather than the latter?

In my grand visions of life and high expectations of family members and relationships, I have lost a lot because my expectations have been destroyed time and time again. 

I am at a point where I don’t want to lose anything here anymore. 

If God gives me something good then praise Him! And if He takes it away then praise Him! 

But before any earthly thing in my heart, I know I now need to make it about Him not about these earthly things. 

It’s not that earthly gifts are bad, it’s that He is before any earthly gift because in the end, those earthly gifts won’t be there anymore and, whether I chose Him before it all or not, I will have to stand face to face to Him someday. 

Some gucci verses to inspire us all to give up our earthly life plans for His greater heavenly plan for us all:

“‘Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.’” Matthew 10:32-33 NLT

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’“ Jeremiah 29:11

“If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine.” --Jesus in Matthew 10:37

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.  For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope,  the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay.” Romans 8:18-21 NLT

[dunkshotdreaming]

The Serpent and the Raven

Genre: fantasy, HP au, fluff/romance, friends-to-lovers Warnings: heavy creative liberties taken on the HP world; nothing apart from that though, I think! well besides that the story moves on super quickly,, oops Characters: Leo x fem!reader, very brief mention of VIXX members.Word count: 2,977 Story type: oneshot

Waking up today, you thought it was going to a typical, boring Monday. However, life has its ways of popping up seemingly out of nowhere, like tripping on invisible string. Hm, ok maybe that’s not exactly what I was going for, but of no importance. You went about your morning ritual, noticing something was off. The house is painfully quiet, I’m up for school and there’s not a peep, it seems everyone in the house is asleep- WAIT WHAT IS THIS, YOU’VE ACTUALLY OVERSLEPT!

In your rush to get ready, you almost fail to notice a big, beautifully sealed, professional looking envelope atop your bed. A single feather lays across the letter. What could this be? When you reach out to grab it, it opens itself. What sorcery is this?!

“You’ve been accepted to Hogwarts University of divine studies” the letter has unfolded itself… and spoken to you. How could this be? You pass it off as another crazy dream, and play along with the oddities occurring. An owl flies nearly into your window, perching just barely on the edge outside. You open the window to get a better look at this majestic creature, and it invites itself into your room. It finds comfort atop a suitcase strewn about the room. Wasn’t that tucked away in your closet? Before you can retrace your steps, the owl’s grabbing your belongings, underwear and books alike, carrying them in its beak to your suitcase. 

Briefly, you stare in shock, jaw close enough to the floor to clean the floor. But then you snap out of your trance, something even weirder has happened. The owl has brought in friends, at first is just one, two, suddenly a dozen owls appear, carrying your suitcase out the large window. And it’s all you can do try and stop them, but you’re too late, the envelope somehow appearing behind you and pushing you outside the window. Snap, your room’s on the second floor though! One second you’re in your room, comfy in pajamas, the next you’re free falling outside your window on an adventure akin Alice’s Wonderland… … but then suddenly the feeling stops, and you’re no longer falling. Rather, you’re floating in mid-air, two large wings appearing where previously only skin laid upon your back. Clumsily and carefully, you manage to make them flap, a few feathers if your own lost in the heavy first attempts. Perhaps humans were never meant to fly, you think, a fleeting thought at most. Because then something wonderful happens, your wings start working and you’re soaring above every building in town, aimlessly following the flock of owls carrying your belongings into the night. It’s all you remember, hours later, when you wake up feeling exhausted, surrounded by an unfamiliar hustle and bustle.

“This sounds like too many people to be just my family, do we have company?” But no, you couldn’t be more wrong, for it is YOU who is the guest. Opening your eyes, you discover yourself in unfamiliar territory. What of the strange dream with the owls? Were you drugged and kidnapped? No such thing, sweetheart, relax. You’re at Hogwarts! What’s that, you ask? A school for the extraordinarily gifted children, for divine arts. Think of it… as a magical magnet school! What’s that, you don’t recall enrolling? Silly goose, you don’t enroll here, you’re SELECTED. It’s only the utmost prestige, really. Come now, to the dining hall, first years must get sorted. Up now, quickly! 

As you sit on a bench in the mess hall in confusion, following the masses of children your age who seem so excited, you furrow your brows, cursing yourself for leaving your glasses behind. You hadn’t noticed until a small chuckle accidentally escaped his lips, that a boy across from you at the table where you sat had been watching you. His narrow eyes widened embarrassment at being caught, cheeks lightly flushed, slim lips agape. He turned around to face the front of the assembly, as did you when you heard bells ringing. The assembly passed in a blur for you, muted interest and wonder. How could a hat speak? What was this “Sorting” everyone kept mumbling about? It wasn’t until then that you noticed where their eyes trailed off to, the four large banners hanging overhead, from the ceiling. A red, a green, a blue, and a yellow, each with its own mascot and a name you presumed, illegible despite squinting because of those darned glasses. It was your turn next, and so you sat, and the Hat was perched upon your head, grumbling until he came to a decision. “Ravenclaw!” he screeched. Some cheered, some groaned. You could swear you faintly heard one of the girls in green complain, “Not another one*”.

Making your way over to the sea of blue robes, you attempted conversation with your peers. No one seemed to know who you were or where you came from, just mentioned you arriving mysteriously last night with some owls and a bag. Okay, that’s strange, because that’s exactly like your dre- “Excuse me, miss.” You turned to face the raven-haired boy from earlier, across the table. “Pardon me for staring, but.. I’ve never seen a girl like you around these parts, I didn’t mean anything bad by it.” The way he was all flustered and trying to clear things up made your heart swell inexplicably. It seems he wanted to get on your good side, and now that you took a closer look around, he was right. Everyone around seemed to have much narrower eyes, slimmer faces, they all shared qualities that made you stand out.

Raven boy extended his arm your way, offering a sheepish grin. “I’m Leo, by the way. Leo Jung.” Whispers stirred the crowd that had previously been watching you two in silence. You hadn’t noticed that he was wearing a green robe, not blue, as you didn’t know the difference between houses or the rivalries. You’d earnestly just wanted a friend, all this craziness had you exhausted, and homesick. Whispers of “What does the Jung kid want with HER?” made your nerves prickle, you didn’t know if you should be nervous. You didn’t have any time to react though, because Leo grabbed your hand and tugged you after him as he fled the messy hall. Gossip flew faster than the owls who’d carried your bag, of the famed Jung son befriending the scholarship exchange student. There were even rumors about you two running away to elope, but you’d only just met?! It was like high school all over again, that’s all you could think. Your feet carried you thoughtlessly, following behind Leo like a small ragdoll behind his tall stature. Now that you’d had the time to take in his appearance, he was rather attractive. Towering over your smaller frame with his broad shoulders, walking gracefully on long legs seemingly at three times your own pace. You arrived at what appeared to be a garden or a forest before he’d finally stopped walking, you couldn’t be fully sure.

“Please don’t listen to what the people say. I may come from a prominent family, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let that keep us apart. I don’t even know your name, but judging by the way you’re so indifferent… you have no idea who I am, do you?” You shook your head, it was the truth after all. He took his lower lip between his teeth, licking it anxiously. “I’m not here groveling at your feet asking for a big favor or anything, I hope, but... what do you say to being friends? I-If you say yes we can start over, a-and I’ll explain everything, I’ll even give you a tour-!”

You squeezed his hand, forgetting for a moment that you’d been holding hands this entire time, focusing on how comfortable you felt with a complete stranger and why that didn’t feel odd at all. He did keep his word though, he taught you of the houses and their names, of their origins, and of his family’s snobbiness. He loved animals and children, not wanting anything to do with the family business; you even caught him secretly checking up on the garden’s plants mid conversation, whether he realized he was doing this or not was an entirely different question. You learned of the red Gryffindor’s bravery, and of yellow Hufflepuff’s loyalty, before he proceeded to tell you about the remaining two houses, each of your own.

You belonged to Ravenclaw, he explained slowly, carefully, the details of his face mesmerizing you all the while. His brows scrunched in thought, the way his hands would fidget like he wasn’t used to another’s presence, even his constant lower lip licking as he spoke eloquently yet shyly. Leo’s soft voice surely did not match his sharp gaze and rather gothic raven hair. Ironic, that the raven haired boy belonged to the house of serpents instead. The blue Ravenclaw, your house, was home to the folks who enjoyed studying, who constantly loved learning new things. You’d won many scholarships, and not for lack of trying, from your studies to your sports, it only seemed fair to be placed there.

Leo hesitated for a moment before continuing, before claiming his residence in the green Slytherin house. Slytherin were known for their cunning, but ran with a chip in their shoulder. Some held their chins high, the pride of being in a prestigious placement, while others (like Leo) didn’t seem to care much about… well, a damn thing. He was placed there simply because everyone in his family has been there for generations, and he seemed bored out of his mind even thinking about this. Slytherin was known for its tendency to produce dark wizards as well, Leo didn’t elaborate on this, the topic making him come off a bit edgy and antsy to change course, so you let him.

You asked him about his dreams if he didn’t care for the business, and he bowed his head between his knees, covering his face with those long, slender fingers of his. Leo mumbled out an answer, having to repeat himself for being so soft-spoken when flustered. “A teacher,” he whispered. “I love working with children, especially small ones. But there’s no way my family would ever approve… they’d put anywhere I try to run away to out of business, guaranteed.“ He opened his mouth to speak once more, as he finally looked up, his eyes meeting your face and making your cheeks heat up some. But just then, some rotten Gryffindor punks decided to run over and pelt you with… tomatoes, great. Kidnapped by owls, brought to a magic school, and now pelted with food, could life GET any better? 

Just in time, Leo pulled out a wand, stopping the tomatoes barely an inch from impact. With a sigh of relief and a flick of his wand, the fruits went flying back at three scoundrels who’d dared attempt hurting you in the first place. You thanked him for the help, with him mumbling softly that it was nothing. Boldly lacing your hand in his, a change to his earlier shyness, Leo croaks out a soft thanks as well. You can’t seem to understand why, when he’s the one who saved you, but just as if reading your mind, he whispers. “Thank you for saving me… from this hell of a school. I’ve never had a friend before.” His gaze is so strong yet his voice is so weak and you just can’t help but feel bad for the boy in front of you, knowing he’s had a life as difficult as it’s been regal. Dealing with family like his and being expected to live up to a famed title put immense pressure on such a young boy, he was barely now becoming a man. 

Reaching your free arm upwards to wrap around Leo’s shoulder, you held him close in silence, knowing no words needed to be said at this moment. If he needed a friend, then a friend you would be. You pretended you were deaf to his sniffles, blind to him hunched over your body, and mute for the time being. He was your savior in more ways than one, and you’d decided as long as you were stuck at this school, you’d stay by his side. What seemed a childish promise on an emotional wreck of a first day of school resulted in a precious, blossoming friendship. No one messed with you for fear of Leo’s wrath, notorious for his temper. He’d become like your shadow, though the rumors never did die down. 

A few months later, in the middle of working on a project together, he asked you out. You brushed it off, thing it a mere joke. “Cut it out Leo, that’s not funny. Now come on, we need to study these for the quiz on poti-” His lips on yours cut you off before either of you  had time to process what had just happened. Desperate for an escape, he tried to turn and run, but you grabbed your wand and shut the door so he couldn’t. Trying to bite back your smile, you attempted an interrogation. Which only resulted in him backing you up into the long study desk, Leo looming over you, resting his forehead against yours delicately before shutting his eyes. 

His confession came as sweet as candy, as pure as clean rivers. Nothing but his love for you spilled through his words, but he couldn’t stop now, no he’d come too far for that, it was now or never. Leo was pleasantly surprised when you kissed his cheek, playing with your uniform shyly, accepting his confession. His arms shot out to wrap around your waist so fast you’d almost feared he’d break something. Your relationship had to remain a secret, for public’s sake. Rumors were just that, but if word or proof got out… Leo feared his father’s wrath. You were talented, a gifted young thing, but you were still born from muggles, from..humans. And that was unacceptable in the wizarding world. Like a purebred dog and a street mutt coinciding, star-crossed lovers. (lady and the tramp anyone?) 

Despite this, you two managed to make it near the end of the school year without getting caught, and it was the most wonderful experience of your mundane life. With his wand, Leo could make any dream a reality. Even sneaking around and hiding in a closet could be paradise, with the proper enchantment. Speaking of paradise, there’s some trouble there now. Mr. Jung, Leo’s dad, came to visit the school on formal affairs. (wizard pta?) But what he witnessed was his son “goofing off with the charity case”, and he was surely enraged. His father threatened to expel you if you did not remove yourself from his son, but Leo interjected before you could be turned into a toad or such, bless his heart. After some fancy footwork around the subject (and just the right spells), Leo managed to get his dad to back off you two. It was a long and rocky road, both of you eventually making a few other friends, your boyfriend also discovering his passion for singing along the way. 

You’d decided to study a more traditional route, a doctor perhaps, and you’d desperately wanted to return to your family. After your studies at Hogwarts were complete, you’d both graduated at the top of the class of your respective houses. Leo talked his father into letting him become an elementary school teacher, how he managed that you would never know. He continued with his passion for music, but his fondness for magic was never far behind, though kept a secret for only others like yourselves to see. With a lovely recommendation letter from your beloved Hogwarts, along with your accumulated accolades, you’d easily made it into an Ivy League school. Majoring in medicine and soon after becoming one of the top pediatricians of the country, perhaps even the world. 

You and Leo lived together, not truly comfortably settling down until you’d finished your hospital interning and him with his shadow teaching. After all was set and done, and jobs were acquired, Leo took you back to your school reunion and proposed to you in the very garden you two had snuck off to on day one. You’re not sure which one of you two cried more, but the ring was absolutely gorgeous, of that you’re sure. The ceremony was small but elegant, both your families and closet friends attending; his family insisting on paying, likely just to show off; but you’d agreed, to help satisfy their egos. Not three years later, you’d had your first child…ren. Surprise, twins! 

Ok maybe not a surprise, you’d adopted them after consulting a specialist who’d decided your body wouldn’t cope with the stress of pregnancy well. Years after the owls made off with your bag, and the raven befriended the serpent, you could say you got your happily ever after. Even if happily is subjective to the screaming infants in your arms, eyes bloodshot from the endless hospital shifts and long nights of parenting. Leo was the epitome of fatherhood, from food to diapers to lullabies. The fact that you two had some magical assistance didn’t hurt one bit. 

And so here ends the tale of the star-crossed lovers who found their way, an eventful tale from start to finish. The scaled boy who couldn’t move on from his past and the winged girl who refused to stay still, to let dreams just pass her by. Though in nature the serpent may eat the raven, this story is one of magic and friendship, one in which they need one another to survive. As the children grow and the magic remains, one thing was constant through time and space. And that was the love between the dear couple who overcame every obstacle thrown their way, because winners never quit and quitters never win.

A/N: I originally wrote this on kik to send to a friend, and only just recently edited this whole chunk into paragraphs, so my apologies for any mistakes. I also haven't really proofread it yet, just caught a handful of typos at best. If you guys have any questions though or wanna help by pointing out a typo, feel free! I’m also sorry if it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense bc I basically redid a lot of how Hogwarts actually works but I wrote this story at like 4am and don’t remember half of this anymore, oops

*This story was written for a friend of mine some time ago (2016 I wanna say?). Long story short, she’s a Ravenclaw and I’m a Slytherin, so “the girl in green” was just my cameo bc I know a lot of Ravenclaws and when she told me she was one I was like “WHY IS EVERYONE A RAVENCLAW NOWADAYS” lmfao.

[thedefinitionofbts]

In Your Eyes

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader ft. the rest of BTS

Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Drabble

Words: 2.5K

Description: Jungkook is not adept at interacting with girls, especially not ones he’s been crushing on for years. 

A/N: Because I really needed this after all the Jungkook angst. 

“Doing 10 more reps is not going to make you feel any better you know.”

Jungkook grunts, before placing the weight back on the rack. 

“You’ve been at it for hours. Take a break man.” Seokjin takes another sip from his water bottle, using the towel draped over his shoulder to wipe the trickle of sweat that’s started to run down from his forehead.

It had only been a couple of weeks ago that Seokjin started dragging the younger male along with him to the gym. He thought it’d take more convincing, but the mention of girls being attracted to fit guys was all it took to get Jungkook off the couch he’s been playing video games on for the past few months. He didn’t expect Jungkook to become this obsessed with weight training, didn’t think the nerd had it in him, but boy was he wrong. 

“I’m this close to hitting my goal body fat percentage.” Jungkook sits up from the bench and grabs his usual blend of protein powder and mineral water, biceps twitching as he lifts the bottle to pour the liquid down his throat.

“Don’t tell me you’re already treating this like gaming stats.”

“You need to have goals in your life.” 

“What’s the point? You don’t even take shirtless post-workout selfies.” Seokjin turns to face the mirror and begins stretching, admiring his self-proclaimed perfect face in the process. “And if you think your newly developed muscles are going to just translate over to your nonexistent social skills, I have some bad news for you bro.” 

“I just want to see improvement ok?” Jungkook defends, walking over to the next station. 

“You seriously think I don’t know the real reason you’re pushing yourself so hard?” Seokjin glances over to eye the sweaty boy who’s now moved on to legs. “You literally hid behind a bush when you saw her walking towards you last week.”

“I was still in my sweaty gym clothes!” Jungkook exclaims, as if it could pass as an excuse. 

“And what about the time you kept laughing after everything she said, even when it wasn’t meant to be funny?

“I was nervous.”

“When are you not when you’re around her?”

Jungkook doesn’t have a response to that. He knows Seokjin knows. There’s no point in hiding the fact that he’s harbored a crush on you since he saw you walking down the halls for the first time in high school.

“Do you want me to just talk to her for you?”

“What the hell? No!” Jungkook snaps back. “I mean, what would you even say?”

“Umm, hey Y/N, I have a friend who’s a couple years younger than both you and I. You know that kid who’s super awkward around new people and especially you because he’s had a huge crush on you for years now. So…you interested in going on a date with him?” Seokjin cracks up, unrestrained windshield wiper laugh reverberating through the gym making some annoyed heads turn.

“Fuck off” Jungkook mutters, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, I’m just trying to help.”

“Remind me why we’re friends?”

“Because I’m in the same year as her, and you kept asking me for updates when I left for college and you were still stuck in high school.”

Jungkook groans, he knew that decision would come back to haunt him, but he just couldn’t help himself back then could he?

 …

 “Dude” Taehyung sighs. “Just ask her out. The worst she can say is no.” He proceeds to pick up his controller after stuffing a hand full of chips into his mouth, talking mid-chew with eyes still glued to the screen.

“I can’t. It’ll crush every dream I’ve ever had.” Jungkook tilts his head up and squeezes his eyes shut. “And not in that way! You know what I mean!” He quickly adds before Taehyung’s eccentric mind can run off to god knows where. 

“You’re acting like her rejecting you is the end of the world.” The older male huffs, leaning back on the couch the two of them were huddled on. 

“It is!” Jungkook cries, burying his face in his hands.  

Taehyung shakes his head. “You’re so whipped. Just look at yourself. Training your ass off with Seokjin, wearing clothes you used to hate just because you think she might like guys who dress fancy.” Taehyung stops playing and turns to Jungkook. “Name brands were always my thing.”

“I borrowed that weird patterned shirt one time!” Jungkook exasperates, recalling how hideous he thought it was; yet still forcing himself to throw it on despite it not being his preferred style. “You’re never going to let it go are you?”

“It was Gucci!” Taehyung exasperates, making a clearly offended face.

 …

 “The way you literally choke on your words every time you try to say hi to her, does not match all of this.” Jimin gestures towards Jungkook’s perfectly proportioned body.

“What?” Jungkook crossed his arms defensively, making his practically see through white button up crinkle near the chest area.  

Jimin huffs a shortened laugh. “In case you actually don’t own a mirror-which sometimes I question if you do, you’re fucking hot.” Jimin’s voice echoes throughout the empty dance studio. He’s stopped stretching his legs and has begun examining his own hair in the mirror, running a hand through his soft locks and making sure they look on point like always.

The door to the studio opens and a sleepy Hoseok walks in. “All I heard is ‘you’re fucking hot’, and I don’t want to know the context.” He says as he drops his bag and begins changing into more comfortable shoes.  

“Hobi! You’re late.” Jimin accuses.  

“I worked an overnight shift.” The older male responds, letting out a long exhale before starting his routine warm-up.

“I see you’re back to Timberlands” Hoseok comments as he eyes Jungkook’s boots, clearly remembering Namjoon’s comment on how the boy is recently changing up his sense of fashion.

“I-I never moved on from them,” Jungkook says feeling a bit embarrassed as he looks down at his favorite pair of shoes. He knew he was going to be in the dance studio all day, so there was no need to dress to impress because he wouldn’t be seeing anyone (especially not you) except Hoseok and Jimin.

“He only dresses up when there’s a chance to run into you know who.” Jimin blurts out, causing the youngest male to run up and tackle him.

“Who? Y/N?” Hoseok asks raising a brow, interest sparked for the first time since he got out of bed today.

“Yeah, he thinks it’ll get her to notice him.”

“Hyung!” Jungkook whines.

“Hey, I wasn’t finished yet. I was about to add how unnecessary it is when you look good in everything anyways.“ Jimin flashes him an angelic smile, making Jungkook loosen his hold on him.  

“Oh, so that’s why you’ve been acting so weird lately.” Hoseok comes to realization. “Can’t blame you though, she’s really pretty and like what, 3 years older?”

“Almost 4” Jimin corrects.

Jungkook feels like he wants to crawl into a hole and never come out. Why were his friends like this? God, he shouldn’t have been so obvious about his crush on you, but he was never good at hiding his true feelings, especially not when his hyungs were all so observant. 

 …

  “Namjoon?” Jungkook begins to ask. “You think you could help me, uh, compose a song or something?”

Namjoon glances up from his laptop. “Yeah, sure. But can I ask why you suddenly want to do something I’ve been trying to spark your interest in for ages?”

“Oh no reason, just I, uh, wanted to, I mean…I-I like music?” Jungkook mentally curses for being so non-covert.

Namjoon chuckles lightly. “You want to write a song for Y/N right?” Namjoon grins, hitting the target and getting straight to the point.

“I-I….yeah…I guess that’s what I was considering.” Jungkook admits.

“Of course I’ll help, but you should probably allow her to get to know you before gifting her a random love song.” Namjoon laughs again. “That might just scare her off.”

“Y-yeah, I’m working on that.” Jungkook knows he’s hopeless. He’ll never gather the courage to actually talk to you, not when he’s barely able to look you in the eye when he’s attempting to just say hi. “I’m just bad at expressing my feelings or just talking to girls in general.”

Namjoon smiles warmly, dimples forming on the sides of his cheeks. “Honestly though, the best way is to just be yourself.” He encourages. “I’m sure she’ll find a lot of things about you to be charming.”

  …

  Jungkook’s never been one to strike up random conversations with strangers, but he figures Yoongi was just giving him a chance to practice honing his social skills. That is, until he sees you walking into the coffee shop. He immediately diverts his eyes, training his gaze onto the cars passing by outside and hoping that you’re not actually walking towards their table.

Yoongi didn’t mention who the person joining you guys was, and he prays his horrible instincts are being their normal horrible selves and that you won’t-

“Yoongi!”

This can’t be happening.

“Y/N!” Jungkook can practically see the signature half-smile plastered on Yoongi’s face, but no, he refuses to turn and acknowledge the reality of the situation.

No, this is not happening. Maybe if he closes his eyes-

“You’re Jungkook, right?” He hears the sweet melody of a females voice drift to his ears.

Fuck.

“H-h-hi” Jungkook says, clearing his throat and shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Glad you could make it, Y/N.” Yoongi says, smiling as if nothing was wrong, and pretending like this was the most natural situation he could’ve thrown the youngster in, and not purposefully set up at all. “I wanted to officially introduce the two of you. I know you’ve already met, but-”

Yoongi’s phone vibrates before he can finish. Jungkook watches intently as the male looks down and checks the message. “Oh, looks like Namjoon janked up the microwave again. I gotta go fix that shit before the guy starves or burns down the apartment trying to cook.” Yoongi puts on a fake sad face.

Yoongi can’t be leaving. Jungkook’s eyes widen in horror.

“You guys don’t mind if I head out right?”

Jungkook opens his mouth to protest but you reply before he has the chance to.

“Oh yeah, you go ahead. We’ll be fine.” You smile at Jungkook who glances at you shyly before fixing his large doe-eyes back on the empty table in front of him.

Yoongi sighs. “The guy has an IQ of a genius, but he’s a total klutz.”

Jungkook hears you laugh, but he’s sweating so much he wonders why the fucking AC in the shop feels like it’s turned off when it’s actually on full blast.  

 …

 “So you’re a college freshman now, right?” You turn to Jungkook after Yoongi leaves, trying to focus on creating a lighter mood. You’ve always known he was the extremely introverted type, someone who takes a while to open up.

“Y-yeah, starting soon, classes starting-” You giggle at the way he squeezes his eyes shut and mutters something under his breathe when his sentence doesn’t come out coherently.

“Hey, well congrats on surviving high school.” You still remember seeing him in the hallways back then, the scrawny kid who would look away every time you waved at him. You had asked Seokjin about it, but the older male just said he was a shy one. Seeing him act the same way now was utterly endearing, and you liked how his sweet personality hasn’t changed despite the noticeable transformation in his physique.

“High school, yeah.” Jungkook mutters. “Y-you’re uh, almost done with college right?” Jungkook winces at the way the pitch of his voice gradually got higher as he finished that last sentence. Because puberty still likes to pay him random visits now and then.  

You giggle again. “Yup, I’m in my last year, but I’ll be attending grad school at the same university.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows lift in surprise. “T-that means you’ll still be here…”

“Mmm-hm” You hum in confirmation. “So if you ever need help with school, hit me up.”

“Y-you’d do that?”

“Of course. We’ve known each other long enough.” You reply nonchalantly.

“Hehe, y-yeah. Known each other…”

“You know, on the outside you look like the type of guy who would just fuck a girl and leave, but on the inside you’re like super nerdy and a complete jokester with your friends. Am I right?” You give him a knowing look.

Jungkook’s jaw drops.

“Sorry, I should’ve been more refined with that statement. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you totally seem like the type who’s super soft but hides under a hardened shell.” You watch as an astonished expression washes over his face. “It’s the vibe you always given off.”

You still remember the days he was always dressed in a hoodie too big for him or that white shirt he must either continuously wash or own several of the same kind. You briefly wonder why he’s recently stopped sporting the style that you’ve grown to associate him with.

“Always?” He wonders how long you’ve been analyzing him to come up with such an accurate portrayal. He’s usually misunderstood.

“Yeah, ever since I first saw you back in high school. And I totally thought you hated me or something.” You chuckle, recalling how he seemed to avoid you at all costs. “You don’t actually… hate me right?” You slowly lift your eyes to meet his, waiting for a response.

“No!” Jungkook answers quicker than his reflexes can even allow. “Y/N, I’ve actually liked you since high school. Like, like-like. And I’m just so nervous around you and super socially awkward in general, and I didn’t want to come off weird and shit. Uh, fuck.” He blurts out, finally revealing his feelings that he’s kept hidden from you for so long. It’s the most embarrassing thing he’s done to date, and he swears he’ll hide away from society for good after this day. “Haha, wow, I can’t believe I just said that.” He bites his bottom lip, feeling his cheeks blossom into the darkest shade of rose that’s physically possible.

You feel your heart skip a beat as his confession, a feeling that gradually spreads as a soothing warmth throughout your chest. “A-actually, I have too.” You admit, voice soft and shy, much like his is 90% of the time.

Jungkook is speechless at that moment, just gaping at you for what feels like an eternity because this obviously can’t be real.

“W-what?” Jungkook feels like he’s in a dream. How was this possible? There’s no way you could’ve just admitted that you’ve had a crush on him too, and since fucking high school. This can’t be real. This can’t.

“Jungkook, I’ve liked you since then too.” You repeat, firmer this time because he looks like he’s in a daze. 

Jungkook has to swallow before replying because he’s still in the most shocked state he ever been in. “R-really?”

You nod, eyes gazing into his with a sincere resolve.

“Shit. I can’t believe. Wow.” Jungkook doesn’t know what to do with himself in that moment, but he’s so fucking relieved he feels like someone just transported him to heaven. This was actually real. “Wait, d-does that mean you’ll, uh… go out-”

“Yes, Jungkook.” You smile tenderly. “The answer is yes.”

...

[syrupwit]

Letter for Trick or Treat Exchange 2020

-

Hello there, and welcome to my letter for Trick or Treat Exchange 2020! I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to read this letter. I hope that it will provide you with clarification, inspiration, or at the very least a bit of entertainment.

Although I’ve written more for some sections and less for others, rest assured that I would be super excited to receive a gift for any of my requested fandoms, characters, or fanwork types.

Please see the table of contents below:

Likes

Do Not Want (DNW)

Fandom: The Bureau d'Echange de Maux - Lord Dunsany

Fandom: Carnacki the Ghost-Finder - William Hope Hodgson

Fandom: Invader Zim

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Fandom: Stellar Firma

-

LIKES

For Treats, some general things I like are:

Silly, clever, or situation-based humor

Surreality and weirdness

Lore and worldbuilding

Stories-within-a-story

Slice of life, especially light moments for darker canons

Unusual team-ups

Dramatic rescues

First times

Seasonal and holiday-related tropes -- autumn weather, changing leaves, spooky foods, candy, friendly ghosts, haunted houses, horror movies, costume parties

For Tricks, some general things I like are:

Dark comedy, gallows humor, horror comedy

Psychological, paranormal, and cosmic horror

Creepy lore and worldbuilding

Unreliable narrators

A lingering sense of unease

Examining darker aspects of canon

Obsessive, love-hate relationships between adversaries or people who are in conflict over something

Corruption

Dubcon where a third party or outside force is responsible for the situation, or where the dubconned party enjoys it

I have a very long list of fic likes here.

Please see my Multifandom Horror Exchange letter for more about my horror likes.

-

DO NOT WANT (DNW)

Characters under age 16 involved in sexual situations

Sex without mutual attraction

Hate speech

Harm to animals (the existence of ghost animals is OK, but I don’t want to hear about injury, abuse, or death of animals)

Fandom-Specific DNW Exception for TMA: Mention of canonical, character-motivation-significant cat death is fine.

Bestiality

Scat

Necrophilia (sexual activity involving ghosts is OK, just not corpses or remains)

Sexual activity involving worms / spiders / insects

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THE BUREAU D’ECHANGE DE MAUX - LORD DUNSANY

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic 

Characters Requested: Shop Owner

This short story can be read online for free here. CW for brief antisemitism (it’s one line/mention, but it caught me off guard, so).

I actually hadn’t read this story before seeing it in the tagset, but what an intriguing premise! I’d love to hear more about the shop owner’s business and the bargains his customers make. The trades in the story seem intuitively equal -- life for death, troubling intelligence for happy ignorance, a phobia for a phobia -- but what more unusual types of trades might occur? Has anyone ever tried to rob the shop owner? What strange or ordinary-seeming locales has his shop traveled to, and how does he feel about them? I’m interested in Trick and Treat takes on all of these questions.

I really like Lord Dunsany’s style and would enjoy anything in that tone. If you wanted to bring in some of his other short story characters, like Nuth or the bad old woman in black, that would be great. I’m also open to crossovers for this fandom with all fandoms I’ve requested in this exchange or any previous one.

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CARNACKI THE GHOST-FINDER - WILLIAM HOPE HODGSON

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic 

Characters Requested: Thomas Carnacki

The original nine short stories about Carnacki can be read online for free here. Project Gutenberg also has the first six stories.

Among fictional occult detectives of the early twentieth century, Carnacki has a special place in my heart. He gets scared, he makes mistakes, he does weird things with colored lights and electricity, and sometimes he figures out that the haunting was a hoax. While the supernatural cases that Carnacki investigates are (in my opinion) genuinely scary, those occurrences that turn out to have a mundane explanation are just as suspenseful.

Hodgson’s cosmic horror worldbuilding, as well, is inventive and unusual. My favorite Carnacki story, “The Hog,” concerns a malevolent extra-dimensional pig that attempts to manifest in the world by tormenting a frightened dreamer. Other adversaries include a ghost horse, a cursed ancient dagger, and a giant pair of whistling lips.

For Treats, I’d like to see Carnacki tackle a lighter-hearted problem or deal with an antagonist that’s more silly than sinister. The stories’ conceit is that Carnacki calls his four closest friends to dinner every so often and makes them wait until the meal is finished to recount his latest case. I’d also enjoy something about his relationships with them, maybe a situation where his personal and professional lives clash or he acquires a new quirk after an odd case.

For Tricks, I want ghost pigs and ghost pigs only. Just kidding! I’d really like to hear more about the creatures and lore of this universe, as well as the beings, texts, and rituals that Carnacki references or uses in his work. More mistakes, near misses, and terrifying encounters are always welcome.

-

INVADER ZIM

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic 

Characters Requested: Dib, Zim

Apparently one of my forever fandoms. To re-use my own words: There’s something irresistible to me about the blend of snappy comedy, unapologetic pessimism, and hints of a more complicated universe that we just get to see. I’m not up to date on the comics yet, but please feel free to include canon from comics, show, or movie.

Dib

I love Dib’s obsessiveness, his alienation, and his frantic pursuit of approval from a community and society that couldn’t care less about him. He wants to be the hero, but his actions are selfishly motivated and often result in catastrophe. I’m really endeared by his devotion to the paranormal and the ridiculous situations he’s drawn into. 

Dib/Zim is my OTP, but I also enjoy them interacting as enemies or frenemies. (I would prefer any sexual content be set when Dib is 16 or older.) For gen, I’m interested in Dib’s family relationship with Gaz, potential friendship with Tak, and encounters with aliens, cryptids, monsters, ghosts, and other paranormal investigator types.

Zim

Zim is a total disaster, and that’s what I love about him. Like Dib, he’s stuck in a futile quest for validation from leaders and peers who would prefer he not exist. I like that he’s gullible and easily scared -- cf. “Germs,” his meltdown over the VHS copyright notice in “FBI Warning of Doom” -- yet unusually chaotic and dangerous even among his species. He also has a subconscious layer of... neediness, I think? that could be really interesting to explore.

Again, Dib/Zim is my OTP. For gen interactions, I like Zim’s relationships with GIR, Ms. Bitters, the Tallest, and any other invaders, as well as random hapless humans and experiments and so on.

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THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic  

Characters Requested: The Buried, The Vast, Adelard Dekker, Jurgen Leitner, Peter Lukas, Gertrude Robinson

My favorite horror podcast! I may be obsessed at the moment. I love the tone and worldbuilding of TMA -- the entropy and hopelessness, the way the monsters don’t play fair, the semi-religious devotion of avatars to their patrons.  I also love characters figuring out the magnitude of the awfulness they’re dealing with, and fighting against overwhelming odds.

The Buried

A fascinating fear! I’m really attracted to the Buried’s mix of attributes -- not just dirt, asphyxiation, and the subterranean, but also pressure, metaphysical weight, oppressive circumstances and hopeless struggle.

This entity’s particular aspects of denial, and of accepting increasingly adverse or strange conditions -- the pit, the statement giver from “Dig,” Karolina Górka considering a nap on the Underground -- both unsettle and delight me.

I feel that both the Buried and the Corruption have this compelling theme of like... suffocating, boundary-crushing love, that takes a person’s identity, will, and outside connections but leaves them a sense of belonging or importance. Then, on the other hand, the Buried can also belittle as it isolates. I thought Hezekiah Wakely’s identification of the Buried with rest and peace, and the Sunken Sky’s evocation as a mercy, were very interesting as well.

For prompts: I really love archaeology and ancient history, so I’d love anything about the Buried in connection to that. An anon on FFA brought up the Kola Superdeep Borehole as a potential hook for the Buried, and that idea is quite  interesting to me. I’d also love to hear about any of the statement givers from canon, the coffin’s other victims, or any main or original characters encountering this entity.

The Vast

Heights are one of my most visceral fears in real life, despite not being something I’m conceptually afraid of. I am requesting the Vast because I would like to be conceptually afraid of it!

Elements of this entity that intrigue me: the image of the Falling Titan, nihilism (and finding freedom in it), insignificance, call of the void, oceans / storms / cliffs, space, scales of size so large they’re not humanly comprehensible, Simon Fairchild’s love for the sky, delineation from the Lonely, opposition to the Buried, unusual manifestations.

As with the Buried, I really love the justifications that avatars give for their devotion to a power -- something exploring that, the choice to serve and the benefits that someone either gains or rationalizes after the fact, would be amazing. As stated above, unusual manifestations of fears are my jam, especially things that start out looking like one power but turn out to have a different affiliation.

I’d be interested in hearing about any canonical statement givers, avatars, main characters, or original characters encountering the Vast, or perhaps just a record of a past manifestation. I love stuff that’s grounded in a place, time, or feeling, so something super-specific or historical would be awesome. But, again, I really just want to be scared.

Adelard Dekker

Such an interesting character, and with depths yet to be explored! I enjoy his pragmatism, sense of humor, and relationship with his faith. I’m intrigued by the question of his allegiance and motivations, as well.

I’d love to hear more about Dekker’s pursuit of the Extinction -- perhaps the incident or incidents that first made him suspect its existence? accidental Extinction!Dekker? -- and his apparently far-flung contact network. I ship him both romantically and platonically with Gertrude, and I’d be interested to hear about their first meeting or other cases they collaborated on. Additionally, Dekker/Tim is a rarepair that intrigues me -- perhaps they meet in an AU where Tim becomes Dekker’s apprentice, and they take down Nikola together? I’d be open to seeing him interact with any character you think might be interesting, whether in a gen or shippy way.

Jurgen Leitner

I just want to know about the cataloging system he uses. Alternately, MORE LEITNERS. Alternately, ohh, the hubris! Leitner’s motivations for starting his library, vs. what he actually ends up effecting... aiii. I’m interested in what role the Eye played there, or how others may have manipulated him.

I don’t have any ships for Leitner, but for gen I would be interested to see him interact with Gertrude, his assistant, or Gerard Keay. Elias or Peter Lukas could also be interesting -- potentially funny, potentially sad or ominous.

Peter Lukas

On the one hand, a sinister sea captain and the heir of a frightening legacy; on the other, an annoying boss who refuses to learn basic computer skills and says things like “You and me, the dynamic duo!” I enjoy how petty and human Peter seems, at the same time that he’s this remote and gleeful monster.

I ship Peter/Martin super hard, but I also enjoy gen Peter & Martin and both gen and shippy interactions involving Elias. Additionally, I’m really interested in what happened for Peter to transport Gertrude to Sannikov Land, given their animosity. (Peter and Gertrude interacting seems like it could be hilarious.) For a fish-out-of-water scenario, I’d also like to see something where Peter feels out of control or threatened -- like, perhaps he’s caught in another avatar’s trap, or forced to be around other people for a bet or some strange purpose.

Re: Peter/Martin: I would prefer for Martin to gain the upper hand, even if it’s just in principle. I really like the idea of Peter going along thinking he’s in control, he’s seduced Martin to the Lonely, his plan is moving along -- and then he’s suddenly hit with all these feelings that he doesn’t know what to do with, because he’s never been in this situation before. On Martin’s part, I like it when he’s sort of reluctantly allured, but also contemptuous and focused on his own plan. And I would absolutely love some weird monster courting rituals -- Peter trying to impress Martin, but not quite pulling off “human” or “not disturbing.” I’m not married to these sorts of dynamics, though -- if there’s one you like better, please write it.

Gertrude Robinson

My favorite character! I love her practicality, dry wit, and self-control, but I also love stuff exploring her weaknesses, blind spots, regrets. I like that she can be smug and sometimes cruel, but not to the point where she violates her own principles (or, at least, not in her own opinion). I like that her backstory is so simple. I just really like Gertrude, in general.

For solo Gertrude, I’d like to learn more about her early days at the Institute -- maybe some of those heroic ideas she mentions she had, or their gradual dispelling. I’m also interested in seeing her solve problems, travel to unusual (or totally mundane) places, and face all kinds of supernatural nonsense. How did she get so unflappable? Is it mostly temperament, or was it a process?

For Gertrude ships, I could be convinced to ship her with pretty much anyone, but especially Agnes, Adelard Dekker, Emma Harvey, and Mary or Gerry Keay. For gen, I like her with everyone. I just want to see Gertrude interact with people!

-

STELLAR FIRMA

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic 

Characters Requested: Hartro Piltz, Trexel Geistman, David 7, IMOGEN

I love this podcast so much it’s ridiculous. If I recall correctly, it’s been described as a cross between Brazil and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; this strikes me as accurate. I love how the tone is at once silly and exuberant, but also dark and messed-up, in an absurd way that doesn’t try to hammer listeners over the head with its irony. (Please feel free to explore that darkness in a Trick.) Also, it’s funny.

Hartro Piltz

I fell head over heels for Hartro’s character somewhere between her first appearance and the Executive Quarterly mini-episode where she reveals that her alarm clock launches her headfirst at the floor every morning (“I like to really smack awake”). She’s such a fun villain, and her attempts at team bonding with David and Trexel are oddly endearing. I like that it’s made clear that she’s as much at the mercy of Stellar Firma as everyone else, just with more perks.

For ships, I’m really into Hartro/Trexel, and I could get behind some Hartro/Trexel/David 7 as well. (If foot stuff is opt-in, consider me opted in.) For gen interactions, I like Hartro with anyone -- not just the other main three, but Standards, Sigmund Shankeray, and other members of her team or clients.

Trexel Geistman

Trexel is the worst, and I adore that about him. I love how thoroughly the show demonstrates his jackassery, and how it’s still possible to sympathize with him and see how he got where he is at the same time that you (I) just want to shake him.  His responsibility-abnegating, depression, and alcoholism seem weirdly realistic, or at least reality-informed, and they weight his character in a way that I find compelling. I love his songs and weird shticks (Detectives and Detonations <3), and lapses into grandiosity and fantasy.

For ships, I like Trexel with Hartro or David 7 or both. Bathin/Trexel and Percy/Trexel, as well. Broom/Trexel, ehh. For gen interactions, I’m interested in seeing him interact with just about anyone -- but I’m especially curious what he did to Space Gertrude’s space tug (from Episode 25, one of the character witnesses from the trial). For seasonal-themed prompts, I am amused by the idea of Trexel as a horror host -- thanks, FFA -- or something else along the lines of the TMA crossover mini-episode.

David 7

Poor, sweet, innocent, possibly-doomed David 7. I love his rage, his affinity for crafts, and the bits where he gets swept up in the excitement of planet-designing (or planet-selling, or problem-solving) and can’t contain his enthusiasm. And I love his progression, over the first two seasons, from timid and cautious to just plain fed up.

For ships, I like David/Trexel, David/Bathin, David/Bathin/Trexel, and David/Trexel/Hartro. David and IMOGEN are interesting to me both platonically and romantically. For gen, I am again interested in seeing him interact with just about anyone.

IMOGEN

How much power does IMOGEN have, exactly? At some point, I hope we find out. I love her chipper sarcasm and barely-hidden dark side, and I hope that she eventually gets a vacation.

I don’t really ship IMOGEN with anyone, though the idea of David/IMOGEN is interesting. Her dynamic with David seems to have an unusual tension built into it, where they get along well and he trusts her but she can’t stop herself from threatening him with gun walls and there’s some murkiness about everyone’s motivations. Oh! IMOGEN and the Board, IMOGEN and the senior executives -- what’s going on there? IMOGEN and the station, IMOGEN and near-omnipotence -- there are a lot of fascinating things to explore about her as an AI.

[zecretsanta]

To: @en-el-espanol-de-la-rae​

From: @silveredfoxxeh​

Additional notes: Dear giftee! I hope you like this two part project! I was having a bit of trouble writing one of the characters so I decided I would double your gift <3 Here is part one, and it will be followed up by a second chapter fic with a second group of characters because I wanted to do multiple prompt combinations for you. I hope you like part 1 and I hope you also like part two!

Ao3 ——–

It was something Clover had said right before they left. That there was a way to go to the past. It wasn’t something he thought of all that much until they were home and he saw that his grandfather was still sad. A different type of sadness from the desperate searching he’d always had as an undertone before, and Tenmyouji was still happy to be around quark but it was a forlorn type of energy. Though he’d given up on the past but he rawness of years spent hoping for a resolution left their mark.

The one thing that Quark did notice was that whenever Tenmyouji seemed extra sad, or frustrated, Quark’s being there made it better. He asked one day about what he meant by the other time lines. And got an answer he didn’t expect from a source he’d never thought they would see again.

Ms. Akane had come by - she had come to them out of nowhere. Tenmyouji was content to leave things as he had, walking out and not looking back and he hadn’t thought that he’d ever see her again, but something had brought her back to their doorstep, to deal with them so he figured he might as well hear her out.

What she brought though was an interesting issue. Clover needed a place to stay and she was wondering if she could remain with them for the rest of their future. Of course this brought up questions like how - I thought she could go back? and why didn’t she want to return to her brother. They had shooed him away from the conversation when they started but he was far too curious.

Overhearing tales of a machine that duplicated yourself and could send that copy to the past made him start to think about how his grandpa was somewhere without him. they’d talked about a plan to fix the past - but that would mean he never found his grandpa. And his grandpa could have still been lonely.

He found himself opening the door before he realized he was even moving catching their attention and meaning he had to try and explain why he was eavesdropping and why he needed them to listen.

“Um… you see…..” He tugged his hat down a bit with nerves, and then steeled his resolve. His mind wasn’t going to change even if they wanted to tell him no. “Send me to the past too.” He could see the alarm in his grandpa’s eyes and kept going before either of them could say anything against the idea. “It’s just a copy right? I’ll still be here. So you don’t have to worry about me but… if Clover can go back why can’t I? it’s not fair that Grandpa never will get to meet me. He needs me there to help him be happy.” He wasn’t willing to budge on this.

There was a cool down needed, so she said he couldn’t do this for a few months. He was sure his grandpa was waiting for him to change his mind with so much time to wait before he could actually do it but waiting just made him even more sure he wanted to do it. Every time he saw his grandpa be happy that he was around he was more and more sure.

The trip back to the moon was stressful but he kept talking about how much he wanted this to work and he was excited to see if it worked.

Ms. Akane had reassured them both that there was most likely no way that they would know if it worked even with sending him to the right place, and sending him to where clover would be.

The version of him that was still here would just keep going like nothing happened. But there would be a second him, and hopefully he’d be able to cheer up his grandpa in the past.

It had never really occurred to him that this might be an odd plan. A kid just suddenly appearing out of nowhere like he had never heard of or met. who knew how their world would be so long ago, but if their plan worked, and Clover was really sent back to a world that would be *ok* with the apocalypse not happening in it, then he wanted to try.

Junpei was sure to like him. Right? He had to - he was his grandpa.

He double checked to make sure his hat was restocked with snacks before he left. Ms. Akane had said that everything that he had with him would be sent as a copy. So he wanted to make sure he took as much as he could.

While he waited to get settled in he asked questions about what it would feel like to go into the past. She said it would just be like waking up, only he’d be waking up twice. One him would still be in the future he’d be leaving, and would keep going like nothing had ever happened, but the other him would have to keep going once he got to the past.

It was a little scary but not worse than the death game they’d just lived through.

As he got settled and tried to ignore his grandfather fussing over him he let them know he was ready. The lid closed down over his vision reminding him for a moment of the pod he had been stuffed in, but it didn’t really bother him and then everything went dark.

The next he knew the hatch was opening and a very young brown haired Ms. Akane was looking over him. The air itself smelled different. It wasn’t the scent he was used to - all stale and muggy, and it wasn’t the super filtered air from the station. It was…. fresh? Still smoggy but different. He didn’t really know a better word for it other than different.

Just like the face in front of him. He could definitely recognize it as her, but that meant it worked! He was in the past!

He knew his other self had to still be in the future with his grandpa because the one thing he trusted was that his grandpa would never have let him do something that would take him away from him permanently That was his whole argument to do this - that he wanted to stay with him across two timelines, but it was still disorienting to know a totally different you was going about still living their life and you’d never know about it.

It wasn’t like they’d ever meet because if Ms. Akane had calculated things right there was no way this was anything but the timeline they’d succeeded in creating. He’d tried to ask why she didn’t just send herself back to make sure things got done but she (and the old sigma) had gone on an explanation about the repercussions of time and the only thing he really got from their explanation was that this was something that was already branched off of their timeline, they had done what they needed to do, and she wanted to do this for Tenmyouji. Something about all the time she’d taken even though it was necessary even if he would never agree with her reasons. She’d had a wistful smile as she explained all of that and then told him to go get ready while she talked with his grandpa a bit more, and then he was here in the past.

He’d prepared himself to never see his grandpa again at least not the way he was but when a young man with horrible fashion sense walked in the room he realized that it might be a lot stranger than he’d expected. He understood a copy, and past but being here, and experiencing it all for himself was definitely almost more than he’d been ready for. And then he saw the way his grandpa’s younger self looked over at Ms. Akane and it was like seeing his Grandpa that first time on the moon. That barely hidden care and affection.

Even if this was his younger self he was still his grandpa and it just reaffirmed the whole reason he came back here in the first place.

“Hey” It was weird feeling shy but he wasn’t entirely sure how to explain himself. *I decided you needed me so I sent myself into the past* would go over great he was sure. It hadn’t really dawned on him that he’d have to explain who he *was* to his grandpa because he wouldn’t know him until he was being met with a blank stare and awkward feelings began bubbling up inside of him.

He had sorted out this grand plan of sending a double of himself to the past but it was really sinking in that it was a double of *himself* He was still there in the future with his grandpa right now. They probably were talking about how he was back here and it made his head hurt a bit so he stopped thinking about that and turned his attention to the room he was in. He must have been clear enough about what he did and why he did it but it was still going to take some getting used to.

This was going to be his new life so he wanted to know what he was getting into. A part of him was still amazed his grandpa even let him do this but whatever conversation he’d had with Ms. Akane after he presented his plan to them must have been what did it. He agreed and then afterwards whenever Quark wasn’t sure that he would still be on board with the plan he just reassured him that he’d given him his word that he’d let him if it was what he really wanted.

As he processed what he’d done he was hoping that it was indeed what he’d wanted.

a voice from the room over caught his attention and he ran out of the room towards it. “Quark!” Clover was there, just like he remembered seeing her talking to Alice. “How on earth are you here!”

He cut her off explaining his grand plan. What he didn’t realize was that his grandfather was standing just out of sight listening to the whole discussion.

When Clover’s eyes looked past him questioning how the recipient of such loyalty must have felt he realized that there was someone else there and slowly turned.

It was odd seeing his grandpa so young. Ms. Akane had sortof prepared him for it since he had seen her first as soon as he got out of the pod but this… this was his GRANDPA.

Hair a dark and dusty brown instead of being a shock of white, stress lines not yet etched into his skin, and an entirely different style of dress but it was still him. And he had no idea who he was.

For a second Quark wanted to run out of the room and curse himself for the plan but then he felt arms wrapping around him. Junpei wasn’t entirely sure what was going on other than his future self was apparently willing to send his adopted grandkid into the past but there was no way he was going to let a lost looking kid who’d just explained he’d dove into the past just so he wasn’t lonely to look so upset.

He wasn’t sure how to feel about suddenly acquiring a kid but there wasn’t really any other option but to keep him. He’d gone into the past trusting that he would be wanted, and that his presence would be a good thing.

And it looked like it was going to be.

[elizgeli]

DuckTales 2017 Premiere: Woo-oo!

I watched the premiere as it debuted at midnight on 8/12. It’s going to rerun for 24-hours, so check it out if you have Disney XD!

This is my SPOILER RECAP. Fair warning. 

-- 

We begin with a seagull flying, so I guess non-anthropomorphic, non-verbal animals existing in this universe.  Must be a class struggle a la “Wicked.” 

Donald has no job and the nephews are teasing him but they make him a fish breakfast to say they believe in him. It kind of looks like the casserole from Kiki’s Delivery Service and “WE BELIEVE IN YOU UNCLE DONALD” is written in ketchup around the plate.  Before they shoo Donald away to his job interview Dewey gets caught trying to hotwire the boat. He must be like the Donatello of this group. 

Donald sets his GPS to take the boys to Scrooge McDuck. They know of him as some legendary billionaire. I guess that they don’t know they are related yet? 

Scrooge’s board is telling him that they are cutting funding to historical research and experimental tech. Lucius Fox won’t be happy about this. St. Canard is mentioned...so I’m assuming we’ll be getting Darkwing Duck at some point? #LETSGETDANGEROUS

Launchpad is his chauffeur in a car...no planes yet. Donald is blocking Scrooge’s driveway and they greet each other. When Donald calls him Uncle the boys begin celebrating in the backseat. They obviously hate each other but who knows if we’ll ever find out why. He tells Donald to “jettison that Jalopy,” which I’m assuming is a reference to the 1943 Donald Duck short “The Flying Jalopy.” *cricket...cricket* He agrees to watch the boys for a few hours mostly to spite Donald. Beakley urges him to talk to them but they ask a lot of questions so he shoves them in the attic with Beakley. She is British now and not as cuddly like before. I guess there’s no Duckworth...he never made sense to me anyway since he was a dog, but now Beakley has to take on the role of icy British servant.

Scrooge is offended that the boys said he “used to be a big deal” so he locks them in attic with a bag of pre-counted marbles that they have to return. Webby ties up the boys and it is revealed she is obsessed with the Duck Family. She has a Homeland-style bulletin board about them, which is mildly unsettling. She is desperate for friends and immediately declares HDL as such. Louie is established as the evil triplet. 

They start climbing through the air vents and overhear Scrooge saying that family is nothing but trouble and get sad. Webby shows them Scrooge’s “Wing of Secrets,” which I’m assuming is the West Wing. A bunch of things from the original cartoon credits sequence is shown. A painting reveals Donald used to be Scrooge’s sidekick and a daring adventurer, which they can’t believe. 

Donald is shown struggling with a stapler at the interview, where he is seated in the waiting room next to Max’s girlfriend Roxanne from The Goofy Movie--at least that’s what she looks like. He obviously loses his temper and destroys everything. 

The boys don’t believe Webby until an actual Pirate ghost appears, as well as a “Headless Man Horse.” Scrooge discovers them and them saves them. But then hits a cursed gong that releases a gold-hunting dragon (Smaug?) that goes straight for the money vault. 

Scrooge rides the dragon with Daenerys-like skill (not actually).  Struggle ensues and Scrooge ends up falling into the money pit to the horror of the kids that think they are about to see him die. However his superpower of viscous money is revealed and he joyfully swims through the gold. “Family truly is the greatest adventure...oh no the ground!” says Launchpad as he crashes. 

Scrooge gives a Mulan-Emperor speech about everything they ruined but then praises them. The greatest gift of all is having you all for nephews and my indentured servant’s daughter. 

Donald gets the job! BUT as a sailor for Glomgold, Scrooge’s archrival! Oh no! Launchpad leaves notes for all the cars he hit with the plane because he is a BRO. 

THEME SONG NOW. I guess the first half hour was a cold open. TITLE CARD. Ok now another open is a commercial for Glomgold industries and reveals his entire corporation revolves around finding the lost treasure of Atlantis and becoming the richest duck in the world. 

The whole crew is in a sub looking for the treasure. They’re pretty sure he doesn’t know their names and Scrooge calls one of the boys SONNY JIM which can only be a TWIN PEAKS REFERENCE. Launchpad doesn’t actually know how to drive the sub so Dewey programs in a “short cut.” Havoc and sea monsters ensue. 

There’s already been an ESPN product placement, so I’m sure that’s gonna make the shareholders happy. Donald is unknowingly headed with Glomgold to the same treasure with a bunch of hunters.  They all arrive at the City of Atlantic but not THAT Atlantis. There’s probably a reference here to the Disney movie but I’ve never been able to stay awake for all of it so I dunno. The boys try to teach Webby how to call Beakley and lie about being at a friend’s house but she is really bad at it. 

Temple searching ensues. Lots of death traps, including the laser hallway from Resident Evil. With his knowledge, Dewey navigates the lasers against Scrooge’s wishes. “Maybe I could just hire a family. Then they’d have to listen to me!” Sadly not true.  I’ve looked into it. Glomgold reveals Donald is working for him and Scrooge is bummed. That’s cold, even for this rivalry. Donald claims he had no idea they were enemies. Glomgold takes off and floods the chamber, leaving all three of them to die?! Worst boss ever. 

The other three kids and Launchpad are discovered by Glomgold’s associates. Donald is trying to hold the water by stuffing the money in holes. Dewey and Scrooge figure out that they need to let the room flood to get the treasure. “This is a surprising insightful deathtrap” says Dewey.  They break out with the jewel and save the others from the thugs, but it’s revealed Glomgold ditched all the employees. One of the thugs says “I thought you said employees were the greatest treasure of all?!” “No!” says Glomgold, “Treasure is the greatest treasure of all, that’s why it’s called treasure!” 

The good ducks agree to take everyone back and escape in the sub. Upon arrival at Duckberg harbor, Glomgold is showing off his jewel to the media when Scrooge upstages him with a bigger, family jewel...ahem. It’s revealed to be a clean energy source that could power Duckburg for 50 years! So Scrooge is now in the energy business. When asked about Glomgold’s jewel, Scrooge says “It’s nice but it’s obviously super cursed.” Turns out he’s right because Glommy is immediately devoured by a giant octopus. 

Donald admits he’s been too overprotected of the boys and agrees to let them hang with Scrooge sometimes. The houseboat explodes because Dewey is cray and they all have to move into the mansion after all.

A reporter says Scrooge McDuck is back, “Solving mysteries and rewriting history.” Finish your drink. Back in the west wing, Dewey sees the old painting and puts up a folded over corner saying “Mom?!” WHAT THE HECK?! So we’re gonna explore that? 

Some overall thoughts: Much like Girl Meets World, the new Mickey Mouse shorts, and the maze, this reboot is not meant for me. That being said I still found it pretty entertaining and it’s something the whole family can enjoy together. There were plenty of things for today’s kids mentioned (photoshop, smart phones) but it didn’t feel too over-the-top. Ninety’s nostalgia seekers should feel welcome. The plot was similar to the original series pilot, just minus all the uncomfortable racial caricatures. Instead they used the mythical Atlantis. It will be interesting to see how they keep this up since most treasure is rooted in ancient mythology. Donald clearly will have a bigger role, and Webby is much spunkier, as still the only girl, but this time without all the thumb-sucking and crying.  I guess there’s no Duckworth...he never made sense to me anyway since he was a dog, but now Beakley has to take on the role of icy British servant. Hopefully she loosens up too. She lost weight, while Glomgod gained about twice his body mass. He no longer looks like Scrooge + beard. 

There were lots of fun jokes that went by so fast I couldn’t even type them. OVerall I enjoyed it! I plan to keep watching! What did you think?

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Wynonna Earp: Episodes 207-209

Eat All of His Organs, Widow Beth

The Setup: Miri and Kris adore Wynonna Earp, but are clearly not triple watching episodes enough, because we have a lot of questions about this chunk of season 2. We can all agree that Rosita is amazing, Tucker can choke, and people can make bad choices but still be loved.

Find our previous Wynonna Earp s2 reacting here, here, and here.

Spoilers through episode 209, “Forever Mine Nevermind,” below!

MIRI: Ok, I’m definitely going to screw up what happens in which episode a bit, but I’m ready when you are

KRIS: I mean there’s a lot and it’s kind of confusing

So I don’t think we need to worry about episode by episode so much

MIRI: Cool, then let’s dive in

Because shit is Happening

KRIS: Nicole Making Poor Choices

MIRI: Oh, Nicole

Very poor choices

We still love her

But maybe don’t keep things from adult people “for their own good” when they have specifically sought out that information

Especially RIGHT after Waverly spent weeks possessed and not fully in control of her own life/body/anything

KRIS: Also isn’t opening someone else’s mail a federal crime?

I mean details, details, but

MIRI: Yes

KRIS: N I C O L E

MIRI: Can we have a brief, happier sidebar to discuss Drunk Nicole?

KRIS: Um, yes

MIRI: Because that was a goddamn delight

“Like Christmas!”

KRIS: Such a hero, drinking for two

And being the worst liar

MIRI: SO BAD

Like, damn Nicole, maybe this is why Dolls won’t let you in BBD (not really)

Also, let us all remember the season one drunk Nicole gift that was “Your ass is great. Top shelf”

Waverley is also precious when drunk (obviously) and also makes bad choices

KRIS: Everyone needs drinking lessons from Rosita

MIRI: Everyone needs Rosita full stop

She’s great

I want her to be my friend

And I’m really digging the Waverly/Rosita friendship

KRIS: Yes

I wasn’t sure I totally bought Waverly’s initial resistance to the baby shower, but I liked Nicole sticking up for Rosita a lot as a fellow outsider

MIRI: That was a really lovely moment. And it’s so true--Waves and Wynonna are so used to it being Earps against the world that they forget they can actually be the impenetrable cool group to others

I mostly buy Waves as suspicious of a new person, especially as a Protective Sister thing since Rosita is with Doc, who is semi-Wynona’s ex

KRIS: I didn’t think we needed the quick beat of Nicole seeming a little jealous when she realized Wave and Rosita were getting along really well later

Especially since that scene was immediately about something else

MIRI: Also, Waverly can be a jealous person--remember she nearly shot Wynonna for hooking up with Champ in the pilot

Yeah, that Nicole beat didn’t totally work for me

I wonder if it was to set up (fear of) a reaction to the later Waverly/Rosita kiss?

KRIS: Oh man I almost forgot Trigger Happy Pilot Waverly

I guess in general I forget how trigger happy she is

It’s that whole Nicest Girl in Purgatory (Literally) thing

MIRI: She’s so much more level headed than Wynonna, you forget that that’s actually a super low bar

I have had a horrifying thought

KRIS: Go on

MIRI: Are we entirely clear on whether the Heir has to kill the 77 to break the curse, or if they have to kill all revenants?

Because until recently that has been the same thing

But now we (mostly) know that it’s not entirely

I mean, I don’t think Andras is actually setting it up so the Wynonna will have to kill Waverly and the baby

But I do wonder if they’re going to be forced to consider the possibility

KRIS: I can’t remember how they originally established the rules, and how the curse relates to the borders of the Triangle, but this solution of killing Clootie seems like it’s a possible shortcut

MIRI: Yeah, I think that’s going to be the ultimate endgame

But I do wonder how much angst is going to happen along the way

KRIS: I think the important reset is the 27th birthday of an Earp heir, as opposed to killing any particular number of revenants

MIRI: Or maybe it’s just that that’s how Wynonna gets the others on her side for this crazy ass plan--we can’t kill all revs, so we NEED to break the curse this way

KRIS: Like killing the 77 doesn’t end the curse, it just sends them to hell until the next heir comes of age

MIRI: No, I thought putting down all 77 within one heir’s lifespan (as heir) break the curse

KRIS: Oh

MIRI: That’s why they One Year Wonder was such a big deal--he came the closest

If all 77 aren’t killed, they come back the next time (which is what has always happened)

KRIS: This is actually a show where I think we could use more reminders about the rules of the world

I mean I know a lot of Earpers out there have seen every episode three times but still

MIRI: Especially as more are revealed

But I’m pretty sure about this one

KRIS: And does the Triangle predate the curse or is it related?

MIRI: That’s part of why Wynonna’s Resurrect the Demon plan is so bonkers--because it’s not the route to ending the curse she and every other heir has been pursuing all along, and that route does still exitst

I’m not sure!

I think it predated it, but I’m not sure if that’s been made explicit yet

Like, demonic things are clearly drawn there

It may have just been a convenient pre-existing boundary for the magic

KRIS: I wanted another beat somewhere of Wynonna actually making this choice

MIRI: Before she presents it to Doc?

KRIS: Yeah, it almost seems like she makes the decision within that conversation

The emotional beats in the last couple episodes have worked pretty well but plot points are feeling rushed

MIRI: Yeah, I wonder if they could have used one more episode

KRIS: And I realized reading some recaps that I don’t think we know who brought the Widows the head of Constance Clootie

MIRI: May be a feature of having to rewrite fairly late in the game re: Scofrano’s preganncy

I just saw a recap that said it was Tucker, but I definitely didn’t remember that

KRIS: See there also seems to be a lot happening off screen

And I definitely did not remember how we last left Constance

MIRI: Oh, I did because it was a pretty impressively vicious Doc moment--he left her buried to the neck in the salt flats

KRIS: Would Tucker have known where she was?

Is it too late in the season to introduce another villain?

MIRI: I don’t see how he would

Hmmmmmm

KRIS: I mean I guess it would have to be someone we know

MIRI: Oh, did you catch the Blacksmith in the teaser for next episode??

Because I did not but the internet did

KRIS: I don’t think teasers come attached to my iTunes pass

For some reason I thought she was dead

MIRI: She definitely was!

KRIS: Was it an implied offscreen death?

MIRI: Clootie zombified her, sent her after Waves and Doc and then Doc had to kill her

KRIS: Jesus this show clearly moves too fast for me

MIRI: You think you’re tracking it all, and then something reminds you and it’s like Shit! There is just so much

KRIS: How did you feel about the Creepy Murder Doll?

MIRI: I never need there to be Creepy Murder Dolls ever

But this one was used pretty well, if a bit rushed

KRIS: Apart from the Creepy Murder-iness of it all, it didn’t really work for me

MIRI: I liked the coming out of the painting detail, but plot-wise it was a little wonky

I guess it was supposed to be an illustration that even non-revenant evil is drawn to the Triangle and the ring, but it also looked like it was trying to be both an a story and like a c story

KRIS: The whole It Heightened Our Emotions thing was definitely too fast and convenient a realization, and also just didn’t seem necessary?

MIRI: agreed

Oh, that demon guy could be a final arc Big Bad for the season

(OH and Bobo is obviously coming back at some point. Duh. So much plot!)

KRIS: But we already have Bobo

MIRI: Maybe Bobo’s going to be on their side now

KRIS: Yeah, that seems right

MIRI: Can’t find the teaser, but re: the Blacksmith

KRIS: Oh wait to backtrack, Waverly and the baby wouldn’t fall under the curse because they weren’t shot by Peacemaker, right?

MIRI: I think so

BUT is that just the way they’ve discussed the curse because that was the only type of revenant around until now?

KRIS: I feel like that’s one of the early mythology things they did hammer again recently, in the dream episode

MIRI: And I think they play a little fast and loose with that rule--wasn’t there a Rev in the first season that was dead because of Wyatt, but who wasn’t actually shot by Peacemaker?

That is a good point

So Tucker calls Waverly his angel too

KRIS: #NOPE

MIRI: That makes 3 people in her life

I mean yes, obviously a hard #NOPE to everything about him

KRIS:  Eat all of his organs, Widow Beth

MIRI: And I love that Andras is very specific that he’s “The all-too human villain all women have met”

I am glad he’s Widow food now

KRIS: Yeah, she talks about that in the featurette too

MIRI: Yes! Very effectively

But I want to talk about Waverly and this angel thing

KRIS: OK

MIRI: I don’t actually have anything good to say

I’m just super intrigued by it

I can see her mom and Bobo both calling her that being related, but why Tucker too??

KRIS: Hm

Maybe something he overheard when they were kids?

I don’t remember when mom died

MIRI: That could be

Mom didn't necessarily die

She left

KRIS: God dammit self

MIRI: Well they keep it ambiguous in the beginning

KRIS: So I guess Waverly’s (Wynonna-assigned) call sign when the team was on walkies a little while ago was Angel Pants?

MIRI: Was it??

KRIS: wynonna-earp-episode-206-recap-beaver-buzz-387166

I kind of buy it as just a thing people have always called her

Which if nothing else sets up an interesting contrast to maybe probably being half-demon

And possibly Waverly having a Hulk-out moment later, either tragic or cathartic

MIRI: I like that

Plus if Wynonna picked it up early from heir mom, others could have picked it up from Wynonna

KRIS: Tied up in this whole “Everyone loves Waverly”/“Waverly never gets to take care of herself” thing

MIRI: Ooh, a Waverly hulk out moment would be interesting!!!

I wonder what a half revenant will look like

KRIS: (which is a theme drawn out really well in these autostraddle recaps as opposed to something I thought about All By Myself)

MIRI: Oh yeah, Valerie Anne’s recaps are amazing and everyone should read them

She’s also pretty delightful on twitter

KRIS: Yeah

2h2 hours ago

MIRI: Oh no

why

That hurts me

KRIS: That was a super mean text, Waverly

MIRI: It was

It was bad and mean and Nicole didn’t deserve it, even if she was very much in the wrong for the whole DNA test thing

KRIS: I still haven’t decided if I totally buy it as something Nicole would do

MIRI: I think Nicole would do a lot of stupid things to save Waverly pain

I am glad they’re playing it out as a legitimate fight -- Waverly’s whole “I don’t hate her! We’re in a fight” thing in the opening played nicely

KRIS: Yeah, I do like that

MIRI: Parts of the internet are Very Angry about the Waverly/Rosita kiss

KRIS: I try to stay out of Earper Tumblr on Friday nights so I don’t see spoilers since I’m not watching live, but I’m vaguely aware

I mean

MIRI: I’ve mostly just seen reactions to those reactions on twitter

K: Oops I did mean Twitter

KRIS: I am in zero ways in a position to tell people how to feel about it, first of all

But from that unqualified POV, it seemed pretty quickly resolved within  the episode as a thing that just happened and isn’t necessarily going to be a problem

MIRI: I have a slightly more qualified POV and I totally agree. They’re both feeling unsure about the world and seen in a way they normally aren’t and make a 12 second mistake, and then both immediately call it out as a mistake

I don’t think it perpetuates stereotypes of bi characters being slutty (which I’m pretty damn sensitive to) and I think the clear return to the friendship dynamic at the end says a lot

KRIS: And just from a story-mechanical perspective I don’t see any room for it to Become a Thing

Though if there is a show whose pacing can prove me wrong it’s this one

(Maybe also Jane the Virgin, which I’m way behind on)

MIRI: (I’m an entire season behind!)

KRIS: (Me too! Plus the last third or so of season 2)

MIRI: (Tv always happens so much these days)

Sounds like our official perspective is: People have a right to feel their feelings, but we really don’t think it’s going to be A Thing. Yes?

KRIS: Yeah

I guess I also get people having their guard up post-Supergirl-at-SDCC fallout

which we don’t have to get into

MIRI: Fair and agreed

KRIS: We can’t leave without acknowledging Jeremy

MIRI: I LOVE JEREMY

KRIS: And also Dolls nerding out about meeting that ghost Marshal

“Once, he had to arrest his own son for murder.”

MIRI: I’m so pleased with the addition of both him and Rosita this season

Nerdy Dolls is great

Dolls was great in this whole run--I like him figuring out who he is outside of

Black Badge and getting to be a little freer with his emotions

But still Very Dolls

KRIS: I still want him to burn more things but I liked his little hero moments in the dream episode

MIRI: Yeah

KRIS: I’m not a pyromaniac in general, readers, I promise

M: Are we sure?

MIRI: I think they’re saving up the burning for the last episode or two

Don’t want to overplay that card

OMG because it was the first in this super dense string of episodes, we have not yet discussed the fact that the Revenant bar is called Pussywillows

KRIS: And that it was briefly Wynonna’s place of employment

MIRI: Shit, I completely forgot about that!

I wonder what happened to the normal, pre-Wynona’s 27th birthday Pussywillow clientele?

KRIS: Seemed like at least a few of them were still there

I’ve been into this idea that a lot of the revenants just want to blend in

MIRI: What is the impact of the periodic revenant reawakening on Purgatory’s employment statistics?

Yeah, I am increasingly intrigued by non-evil Revs

Like Rosita

Just trying to live their damn un-lives

KRIS: It also puts Wyatt in an interesting light

MIRI: The fact that he clearly killed some non-villainous people?

Yeah

Because there can only be so many like Robert/Bobo who were used as human shields

Also the fact that he was willing to do that to Robert

KRIS: It’s also probably a shot Doc wouldn’t have needed

MIRI: Ooh, that’s a fun point

KRIS: And it doesn’t sound like he was there, unless I missed yet another thing, which wouldn’t surprise me

MIRI: No, I think you’re right

He refused to go because Purgatory was a lost cause

KRIS: Was that episode the first we’d heard about Demon Clootie being the sheriff?

MIRI: I think so

KRIS: I assumed I’d just forgotten

MIRI: I may have to, but I think it was the reveal

KRIS: Right

MIRI: And the widows being his wives

KRIS: Yeah that for sure

MIRI: And Constance’s siter wives

*sister

I wonder if they were demons already or if he made them demons?

ALSO MERCEDES IS STILL ALIVE AND FACELESS AND NO THANK YOU

KRIS: I think I’m still confused about Constance’s agenda at any given point

She’s both anti-Earp and afraid of her husband?

MIRI: I think in general she wants power and her sons and revenge. Beyond that I got nothing

Yeah, I think so

She seems to really want autonomy

So when allies like Bobo try to strip that, she gets PISSED and acts out

KRIS: I wonder if Mercedes gets her face back

MIRI: I really hope she does

KRIS: She and Rosita would be friends

MIRI: Because I liked real Mercedes

YEs!

And I liked her dynamic with Wynonna a lot

KRIS: Yeah!

MIRI: Do you feel like Widow Beth is hungry more often than Widow Mercedes?

KRIS: I don’t know

MIRI: Also, I know they refer to them as each other’s sisters, but do we think they actually are/were, or just sister-wives?

KRIS: She definitely seems to have more sass

Hmm

MIRI: I feel like it’s always WBeth who is bitching about needing to feed, or feeding on a priest/Juan Carlo/Tucker

KRIS: I guess I’m still assuming they’re sisters

MIRI: It probably doesn’t matter, I’m just intrigued

KRIS: I feel like there might have been more of a power struggle triangle [with Constance, in the past, I meant] if they weren’t

MIRI: Hmmm

Agreed. They definitely seem to be unravelling now, though.

KRIS: Also, whoever the fuck was responsible for this crate over the years

You could have done better, dude(s)

MIRI: Right!?

Even if they didn’t want to risk them escaping during some sort of transfer--build a box around the box!

KRIS: Sidebar, Constance really seems to like her claustrophobic tortures

MIRI: Ooh, good point

I hope she never tortures me

KRIS: At least don’t leave the box just in a giant warehouse with a bunch of other, less important boxes

Surround it with a circle of salt or whatever

I don’t know

MIRI: Seriously. Put the box in a metal box surrounded by salt and bury it or something

I really judge BBD’s policies

like across the board

KRIS: Not great, guys, not great

Nicole is better off, maybe

MIRI: Maybe focus a little less on Coolness Points and a little more on follow-through

Yeah, do we think Waverly saves her from Widow Mercedes, Waverly calls in the troops, or Nicole saves herself?

KRIS: I think A or C, unless Dolls had a way to tail Widow Mercedes

I guess I’m leaning toward some form of A

MIRI: A big, dramatic, Save the Girl scene would be nice for them this season

KRIS: I would like to see C but I don’t know how killable the Widows are

MIRI: Tie up a few threads

KRIS: without something like Peacemaker

MIRI: Yeah, that’s very true

I could see her outwitting WMercedes since she’s weak/semi-powerless right now

But yeah, I think Waves helps

Oh, quick shout out to the physical comedy skills of all three guys when they were bound together

KRIS: Yeah

I have one last thing and it’s not that long but it’s Political

Do you have anything else?

MIRI: No--I know there’s so much more but I’m tapped out for the moment. Is it going to be about abortion?

KRIS: Yes

MIRI: Proceed

KRIS: I mean there’s not much to it, just

Wynonna for sure seems like someone who’d put it on the table

MIRI: And that moment in the doctor’s office where the OB shows her the sonogram and she freaks out plays very oddly

to me

KRIS: YES

That is a strange scene

and I don’t think entirely deliberately

I am well aware that the ultrasound move is right out of the anti-abortion handbook, but this didn’t seem like the point of the scene or the character

MIRI: Agreed

Yeah, much as I like the pregnancy storyline, I think a quick exchange between Wynonna and Waverly or Wynonna and the OB addressing that she knows it’s an option and she’s not doing it would have been better

I thiiiiiink the time jump may have been supposed to make us stop asking these questions?

Like, gotten her to the point where she’s pretty far along

KRIS: It feels a little churlish to like, ask Wynonna Earp the show to check one more Feminist Bona Fides box

But it wouldn’t have even been unprecedented

In the last year or so

You’re the Worst

Crazy Ex

I feel like at least one more I’m forgetting

MIRI: Hmmmm, if there is I’m blanking too

M: Jane the Virgin (not sure if it was this season or last season)

KRIS: I don’t know, it still feels out of character

MIRI: Yeah. I think a discussion would have worked better

M: I am genuinely sorry about this one. I couldn’t help myself. This time, you all have permission to @ me, I deserve it.

KRIS: I have stronger feelings about this than most men probably, but I can be done

I’m done

MIRI: You don’t have to be

KRIS: I guess that’s really it

Oh The Magicians

MIRI: I wonder if they didn’t think they had time to go into it effectively, so decided no doing so at all was best?

KRIS: They went there in the spring

In a crazy dark fantasy way

I mean

MIRI: I really need to watch that show

KRIS: Just like, a couple of lines

MIRI: I agree

KRIS: Wynonna I mean

I don’t want to seem like I’m saying there’s A Type of Woman who chooses abortion

MIRI: No, but there can be a discussion of abortion without her choosing it

KRIS: But Wynonna is a person who is especially and understandably sensitive about her autonomy

So that it doesn’t come up at all just didn’t ring true for me

MIRI: Agreed. I think her choosing to keep the baby makes perfect sense (she clings to what little family she has like nobody’s business) but I think the conversation would have been had

KRIS: Okay I’m really done

I’m not Mad

M: He’s just disappointed

MIRI: I have to wonder if there was a network note, or if they really did think the time jump invalidated the question

I know you’re not

Neither am I

We can love 96% of this season and still have thoughts on it

KRIS: The Magicians went pretttty far and it’s a network sibling so I doubt it was a note issue

MIRI: Fair

Syfy doesn’t strike me as too squeamish

KRIS: Three episodes left or four?

MIRI: I believe it’s three

Do we think the baby is born this season, and do we think Demon Clootie rises this season?

KRIS: I would have definitely said yes to both until you put them in one sentence

That’s a lot of Story

MIRI: hahaha

KRIS: I guess he could rise without them killing him

MIRI: Yeah, I can see them ending on the seal breaking, or something along those lines

Like last season they showed Waverley’s demon eyes

KRIS: Hm, yeah

M: We didn’t touch on this OR Wynonna’s throw pillow situation and for that I am very, very sorry. Also Waverly fighting and being sexy.

K: A day may come when I will be comfortable being the first one to bring up a woman’s attractiveness without worrying that it makes me a bad feminist, but it is not this day.

M: I do still worry about it too, but apparently not enough to stop myself.

Sorry we never touched on your agelessness, Doc

MIRI: Oh, real quick--I like that they’re both pretty in the right in that argument!

KRIS: Yeah, see, that argument would have totally worked for me without The Doll Made Us Do It

I didn’t need it walked back at all

MIRI: I know

KRIS: It was great

MIRI: I did like the “I mean it was all true, I just wouldn’t have said it” beat

KRIS: E X T R A creepy life sized doll, though, well done (?)

MIRI: But I think the emotional heights all work without Demon Doll and they should have just gone for it

Yeah, I did like the painting to creepy painting to doll to GIANT doll thing

KRIS: Just the exact right amount of TOO FAR, ANDRAS for the week

MIRI: Truly

I think that storyline would have worked better as a c story to another episode

KRIS: Jeremy vs Demon Doll

MIRI: OR maybe the doll didn’t have an emotional effect, it was just murderous.

And they didn’t have time for filters as they argued because they were fight a doll

Omg, not, that’s way better. Jeremy vs the Demon Doll all the way

I really love him a lot

KRIS: STAY IN THE CAR JEREMY

I KNOW YOU’RE GENRE SAVVY ENOUGH

We’ll be back for the season 2 finale!

[thecrookedgavel]

The Black Box Readings - Ep 1 Transcript

Here’s the transcript for episode 1 of The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down. 

See Other Episodes

An: Hey, all! And welcome to The Black Box Readings, the new podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down! I’m your host, An Capuano. So basically, it’s a show where I narrate through a deleted or deactivated blog over the course of a season, with a focus on queer artists. Though to be honest, there was a specific blog that inspired me to make this podcast, and unless this format is super popular, I may just do the one season. Anyway, although reading things in a dramatic fashion is definitely in my wheelhouse, non-fiction podcasts are not. So please bear with me while I go through some growing pains as I try and figure this thing out. 

Alright, so this season, we have the story of a digital artist who caught my attention with a really cool piece of Overwatch fanart. It’s about her journey through a life spent mostly online, disability, and navigating through the difficulties of realizing that you’re trans.

For those of you not in the know, I am a disabled trans woman myself, so it’s not a journey I’m altogether unfamiliar with. The biggest reason I’m doing this podcast is because stories like ours get drowned out in the media. I wanted to be able to tell her story so that queer people, young and old, can hear something that resonates with them. And I have a good feeling that this will do that for you.

The Tumblr in question, I won’t say the address. Just know that the title of the blog was: “Less Than Human”. Yeah, I know. Not a very cheery introduction. I sort of choose to think of it, kind of like reclaiming a slur. If she calls herself less than human, other people lose the power to hurt her with it. I’m telling you the blog title because it is important later.

Anyways, enough out of me, here’s the first post of the episode, which happens to be the first post of the blog itself. It’s titled:

“Welcome!

Hey, my name is -”

Ok, so I guess I didn’t think this through. In the post, she uses her deadname, and I don’t feel comfortable reading it out to you all. If I have to choose between deadnaming a trans girl and being a little inaccurate, I’m choosing inaccuracy. I should say, actually, that I don’t consider myself a journalist or anything like that. Also, I get it would be bad of me to use her real name too. So we’ll just call her… Hmmm…. Ok, let’s go with Emmy.

“Welcome!

Hey, my name is Emmy, and I’m 19 years old! Nice to meet you guys! I’ve decided to start posting on my tumblr instead of using it as a dash, lol! I’m a visual artist, though I mostly stick to digital art these days. I spend most of my time reading. My fandoms are Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, Supernatural, Sonic the Hedgehog, Marvel, and of course, Shrek! Lmao. I think Cat Girls are cute, but I’m not a weeb”

*Laugh* I never read this post while she was active. Her sense of humor is really present in this post, she was always silly like this. Anyways, she follows up this post by posting a backlog of art that I figure she must have made and not shown to anyone. It’s all really good stuff. Some fandom, some original. It’s clear to me that she’s not posting her earlier, rougher work. I don’t remember too many details though, as this was a while ago, and I didn’t think to save her artwork when I was copying all her text posts into the google doc. I hope someone out there saved them before they were deleted, though.

I’m not going to bore you by reading every single one of her posts, or anything like that. Just the ones that stand out to me. Here’s one about Supernatural and how she might be falling out of love with it. 

“I don’t know guys, I’m finding it hard to watch supernatural these days. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still one of my favorite shows, it’s just totally not as good as the first 5 seasons. That and I WANT DEAN AND CASS TO BE TOGETHER! Is that so wrong? Look, Cass is an immortal being that just HAPPENED to take a male form. If he had a female form, you can bet that he and Dean would have banged already. I’ve read the tumblr posts too, the ones that talk about all the hints the writers give that Dean is gay. This is ABSOLUTELY queerbaiting, and even as a straight guy, I can see that. I have a lot of gay mutuals who have convinced me how ultimately cute Dean and Cass are, and I feel bad for them, because they’re not being treated fair. You think in its 12 seasons there would be something, but no, nothing. Pisses me off”

Here is where we start seeing a connection between Emmy and queer culture. Although she’s currently IDing as straight and male, you can tell she cares about queer representation. Now, I’m not saying that wanting good queer content makes you queer, of course not. Just that knowing that Emmy is queer, when you look back at her earlier posts, there’s some evidence there. She even talks about Castiel, a male character, having a female form, which I find interesting for obvious reasons.

Next up is a post about something outside of her fandoms, a show called Monk. For those of you who don’t know it, it’s a show focused on a detective with OCD who uses his disability to solve crimes no one else can. As someone with OCD myself, I really enjoyed the show, but it’s not without its problems. Hmm, yeah, I’ll get to those after reading the post, I think

“I’ve been watching a new show lately! Well, a show that’s new to me at least. It’s called Monk! I’m 3 seasons in, and I laugh every episode. But it’s not without its serious moments too. It’s about Adrian Monk, a detective with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and it’s like a super power to him. He can do things no one else can. But he also can’t do things that everyone else takes for granted. Mood. He always says “It’s a gift… And a curse” when talking about it. Big mood. Anyway, I highly recommend it, because it’s a positive depiction of someone mentally ill! I’m so used to people who are “crazy” being mass murderers or some shit. Idk, it’s heartwarming.”

I noticed one of the hashtags of her post was, “Finally found a version with captions.” This is important for later and I’ll get to it by the end of the episode. Where the previous post was the first we saw of her queerness, this is the first we’ll see about her connection with mental illness. It’s unclear if she feels her inabilities are balanced off by her abilities, or if her “mood” was just about her being unable to do what others can. Since her “big mood” is regarding Adrian Monk’s favourite quote “It’s a gift and a curse”, I like to think she was being positive and was including her abilities in the “mood.”

While I do agree with Emmy that it’s a positive depiction of someone mentally ill, and that’s certainly better than having yet another bad guy is who’s only evil because he’s crazy, I’m worried that it’s too positive. It’s actually a really common trope where neurodivergent people in media are seen as “super human,” like Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory, or uhh, the main character from The Good Doctor, I forget his name. It makes it look like everyone with autism or OCD are geniuses, and that sort of skews how neurotypicals view people like us in a negative way. Like, I do view my OCD as a gift, I wouldn’t be able to write the way I do, or play video games the same way if I didn’t have it. But I’m not a superhuman by any means. But I’m expected to, in some sense, outperform everyone because of my OCD, because of this impossible standard set by the media. *Sigh* I’m sorry, I’m getting really off topic. I hope you don’t mind this little rant.

Back to Emmy, I find it a little upsetting that she feels herself cursed in some way. Knowing what I know about her, I like to think she was more gifted than cursed, but given the title of her blog, I doubt she would agree with me. We can glean from this post that she is disabled in some way or another. Maybe she herself has OCD? Or maybe she just relates her own, different disability to OCD? It’s hard to tell at this point, and I don’t want to spoil it, especially since it will come up again in a few posts. 

Next up, we have a post about not just queer characters, but lesbian characters. I’m sure you have heard of Overwatch by now, even if you haven’t played it. Well, the creative devs promised us that a handful of the cast was queer, and at least to me, it seemed like an empty promise. Hmm, I guess it seems a little bit like the queerbaiting conversation we had earlier. Interesting. You know what I mean, right? Like, why take the risk of pissing off the straight, cis part of your fanbase with queer characters when you can just say some characters are queer and attract a bigger queer fanbase that way? But then they did something that blew me out of the water. They made a comic where Tracer has a girlfriend. This next post from Emmy is about this reveal.

“Merry Christmas! And what a Christmas it’s been. Because I got something I’ve been asking for for a LONG time. Blizzard made Tracer gay! I’m not the only one who’s been asking for this, a huge chunk of the fandom has been saying that Tracer is only into other girls. It’s been my headcanon for so long, and now it doesn’t have to be, because it’s canon! Tracer and Emily are so cute together! And their kiss is so hot too! Yeah, lesbians are really hot in general. They’re every guy’s ultimate fantasy. Thanks, Jeff!”

An: Ok, so before we continue, I think I need to apologize on Emmy’s behalf for the way she talks about lesbians. As a trans lesbian, I had a period where I talked about lesbains that way too. Before I came to terms with that identity, I mean. Since you believe you’re a straight guy, there’s no real explanation for why you’re so into lesbians other than them being a male fantasy. But it’s more than that. It’s part of like, seeing yourself as a girl that the idea of being with a girl that likes girls... that is so fundamentally appealing. 

Like, ok. *sigh* I remember this one time very clearly… I was with my girlfriend at the time and a friend of mine at a bubble tea shop. This was probably 9 or 10 years ago now? Jeez. Anyways, this couple of girls starts making out at the table next to us, and I had a full on sexual awakening. I remember that I couldn’t look away. Mostly because my ex wouldn’t let me forget it. I got teased by my friend and berated by my ex. Because I couldn’t explain what happened to her, let alone to myself, I eventually came up with a rather math-y explanation involving vectors of attraction *laugh*. Something like, if women are attractive to me, and men are not attractive to me, then adding their vectors together gives less attraction than two women’s vectors being added together. It was pretty stupid. I don’t talk to either of those two people anymore, by the way. 

Anyways, my point is that since this is before she’s realized she’s a lesbian herself, she’s under the false impression that she needs to sexualize lesbians in order to explain why she’s so attracted to the concept. So please don’t hold that against her. 

---

With that out of the way, we can move on to her next post. It’s a piece of art she made, and it’s pretty special to me. You see, this was the way I found her blog. One of the blogs I follow, who knows which at this point, must have reblogged it and it came across my dashboard. Again, I don’t have a copy of any of Emmy’s art, but I remember it pretty well. It’s a picture of Emily wearing Tracer’s outfit... Shit… Why did I give Emmy a name so close to Emily? Emily as in Tracer’s girlfriend. Maybe it’s because of my association with her and this drawing? Either way, it’s too late now, I’m not re-recording this whole episode. *Sigh* We’ll just stick with the blogger being named Emmy. Anyways! She’s sort of looking a bit out of place, like she doesn’t know how to feel about having a Chrono-accelerator attached to her chest. There’s a speech bubble in the frame pointing off screen that says, “You look marvellous, love!”, or something to that effect, but it’s obviously supposed to be Tracer saying it. It was a really cute drawing, and I was really fond of it, so I liked and followed. Feels like so long ago. 

Anyways, she did reblog the picture afterwards, saying:

“Thank you so much for all the notes! I really appreciate the support. Who knew that something so dumb would be liked by so many people? I really like Emily, and I hope she’s added as a Hero in Overwatch soon! I feel so happy! I’m going to go and do some more drawing, so keep an eye out for more posts!”

Not much going on in this post, but I decided to read it anyway because it contrasts so heavily with the next post. Not the next time she posted, but the next post I’m going to read. Actually, it’s the last post of this episode. 

So, I’m going to warn you, this is a side of Emmy we haven’t seen yet. The really negative side. *Sigh* I don’t know what set her off, maybe nothing did, but I think this post is very important to read to you, as it clears the air about her disabilities.

“I really appreciate all the love you’ve given my art, but I feel like I don’t deserve any of it. I’m so broken and worthless and I’ve only been pretending to be normal so that you’ll all like me. The truth is, I’m physically and mentally disabled, and life is just a never ending struggle. 

First off, I’m deaf. Very deaf. The quietest thing I can hear in either ear is a chainsaw. It means I can’t understand speech or anything I’d need to be social. I don’t know sign language at all, I was never taught. So I just… stay inside all day. I’ve been homeschooled by my Dad since I was young. He thinks something bad will happen to me if I go outside, because I couldn’t hear something like a car coming towards me. So I live my life online, for the most part. I feel so isolated, and like I can’t relate to anyone normal. 

Also, I have Bi-Polar Disorder. For those you don’t know of it, it basically means I have high highs and low lows. I’ve done a good job so far at hiding my lows from everyone and only showing my highs. Until now, I guess… I just feel so low today, and I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I just had to be real. Even if it’s an ugly side of me that I hate. My dad hates how moody I am too. He just doesn’t get that it’s not my fault. Even my highs are hard for him to handle sometimes. Anyway, please forgive me for lying so long”

So, I sense a bit of imposter syndrome here. She’s gotten some success and because she views herself as not even a normal person, she thinks she doesn’t deserve it. It’s a pretty common feeling amongst content creators and something you have to move past if you want to make stuff. It’s like, *sigh* like me, I’m not an expert voice actor, why are people listening to me? I have tricked them into thinking I’m worth listening to. If you’re feeling that way about a recent success, just know that it’s all bullshit and it’s normal to feel that way. I wish I had that knowledge at the time I originally read that post… Because then, I would have messaged her and let her know. But yeah, we have more to unpack here.

She talks about being deaf, and the level that she describes is a profound hearing loss, which is as bad as it gets. I have that level of hearing loss in my left ear, and it’s really hard to deal with. So, I kind of can’t imagine what it would be like to have it in both ears. 

Like, for me, I remember this one time where I was at my locker in high school, and someone must have been asking me a question a few times on my bad side. She wanted to know if I had any extra bus tickets, and by the time I finally caught on that she was talking to me, she said something like “Urg, I just want to punch you.” And it wasn’t a joke either, she was very frustrated with the way my hearing loss had affected her. It made me feel small, and like I was an inconvenience to those around me. Guess it didn’t help how I felt that I had a crush on her at the time… Ha… *Sigh* It was very isolating to grow up like that. I didn’t really belong there, but I didn’t exactly belong in the deaf community either, since I could hear fine out of one ear. So when Emmy describes how isolating it is to be deaf and not know sign language, I get it. I really feel that. When I saw this post, it really made me feel for her. This is probably the point in time where I made a mental note to support her art whenever I could. 

Lastly she talks about her mental illness, being bi-polar. I know a lot less about bi-polar disorder than I do hearing loss. Though I was in a production that never wrapped up about a bi-polar teen. Actually, I was the strict dad who couldn’t understand his child’s illness, which is a similar theme seen in Emmy’s post. I’ve actually been cast as a dad 3 or 4 times now? Yeah. *Laughs* Anyways, what I understand about it is that it can be seasonal. You might be manic for a season, and depressive for another. But yeah, it doesn’t always work that way. Usually medication can help balance you out, but in Emmy’s case, she wasn’t taking any meds at this point. I’ll say it here for clarity’s sake, but her having bi-polar disorder was a self-diagnosis, not a professional one. That’ll be covered in the next episode, though. 

So now the whole “Less than Human” thing makes a bit more sense, doesn’t it? Not because it’s true in any sense, but because it was true to her. Disability is something that people tend to see as different, or othering. There’s a lot of stigma there. We can sort of tell at this point that the way her Dad views her and treats her doesn’t help her feel any better about this either. 

That’s why she likes the depiction of mental illness in Monk so much, right? Because it’s a bit of a “More than Human” approach. It gives her some hope that maybe she can be seen positively one day too. As far as movies with Deaf characters goes there’s like 100, if I recall correctly. Which is honestly pitiful compared to the amount of movies, period. So it’s more than likely that she never got to see herself in media in that perspective before. 

Also, there’s the markings of a budding trans girl in there too, which may further intensify the feeling of not being human. For years and years *sigh*, there was practically zero positive representation of trans people in media. We’re taught that feeling like this makes us freaks, and that presenting differently than we’re supposed to makes us... something worse than that. It all comes together to form something bitter and isolating. Especially before you start owning those parts of you and finding a community of your own.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Black Box Readings! I really ranted more than I thought I would. Hopefully you all liked the anecdotal stuff I added in, didn’t really plan on doing that. Follow me on Twitter at TheCrookedGavel to stay up to date on this and other queer podcasts. Feel free to contact me there as well. This is An Capuano, signing off!

[raguna-blade]

Revolutionary Girl Utena Episode 16-20

Welp, after last weeks hot bullshit, things have taken a minor upshot. Minor, in that things are still uh... Well.

Episode 16

GODDAMNIT AGAIN? ITS BEEN LIKE TWO EPISODES?

What hell is coming this time. C'mon. I got it. I'm cool. We're ready.

...Anthy late night infomercials....Uh. Curious choice of entertaintment.

Nanami's about to get called out for infomercial shopping sin't she?

Yep.

Juri immediately rolls in and styles on everyone.

Nanami's about to try and pass this. uh...cowbell off as jewelery

and

God. She's trying. She's trying so hard.

And I know anthy is behind this somehow. But damn Nanami. You're...Well...

Ok, so so far the filler hasn't been filler and is she just wearing the duelist suit out and about?

For real though, if the filler thing holds.

Oh she just admits it's a designer cowbell. Ok. Well...Damn. She's got the mad confidence to try and pull this off. Go her then. Fuck all the haters.

But still and for real, it's a cowbell nanami.

Oh hey it's the boy. Mitsuru trying his best.

Utena trying to spit the truth and people pulling bullshit trying to silence the truth.

….What. What the hell is going on here. She got turned into a cow...? There's..There's a song?

And we got the mad silhouettes. Her last meal?

Her last meal? God, i'm not sure I want to try and analyze this episode right now. I'm 100% sure the context won't occur until like the last episode or some shit but.

Is...Is she...Is she turning into a cow...? by wearing the bell...?

SHADOW GIRLS? OFF BRAND SHADOW GIRLS

muck my life are the filler episodes just supposed to be keys dressed up stupidly so we don't look at em closely.

And they're just..They're just going fucking in on this aren't they.

Why the hell did he go to Anthy and Utena. Mitsuru what do you knowwwwwwwwwwwwww

...Is she legit fucking cursed with this (Apparently?) pretty ass bell.

REAL SHADOW GIRSL? Squeak queak mouse girls...Uh..

Uh...Wait, with anthy as mouse thing last episode what is...what is happening.

Nanami slowly becoming  a cow.

Utena: Take the Cowbell off Anth-Nananmi.

Oh my god it is a fucking metaphor. It's...

Oh my god oh my god it is. Utena's spiel here sounds a lot like STOP PRETENDING TO BE A ROSE BRIDE BEING A ROSEBRIDE OR WHATEVER.

Also...Seeing Red and flipping out is a Bull thing, so the Rosebride thing is 100% and she just turned into a fucking cow..

And the imagery with the cutting the cowbell off and nanami turning...normal reads like a black row.

Chasing Status Symbols is BS: JURI FULL OF THE BLING

Anthy 100% DID THIS ON PURPOSE. The Nose Ring.

Ah next episode. Trifling territory once more.

Episode 17

Old Girlfriend(Crush?) Blues?

Juri just out here beastin on people. So Business as usual.

Oh, that's the face of shit about to go down.

And She just fucking dipped. I'm sure it was fine.

People can just LEAVE Ohtori? That's a thing?

Shiori: I did in fact, fuck up real bad. Also I don't got a roommate which is...

oh Hey, it's Dude Anthy and Utena.

Hurting yourself on Purpose...? huh.

Nanami out here questioning people's gimmicks.

….Is..Is the sword thing supposed to be sexual? Oh god. How the fuck did I miss that. Also Nanami, please stop aping your brother it's weird.

Shiori, you LEGIT stole her man. Which she wasn't even into, but god.

Did that Bird Kill itself running into the window? Uh...? uhhhhhhhhh.

Utena. You..you do not know what you're stepping into god.

OH GOD PLEASE JUST STAY AWAY FROM HIM. I AM BEGGING YOU.

Talking about Innocence and purity. UUUUUUUUUUGH.

YES THANK GOD SHOWER OF SADNESS SO MUCH BETTER.

….Oh fuck is Juri about to get got by the Black Rose jerks?

Oh, this is not how she wanted this to go down

FUCK HELLINTERVIEW TIME

Hated Juri. ok.

What's with the butterfly regression. Dear god. These freak outs are just...

Your only choice is to revolutionze, hey, no, that's super not fucking true. That's some edgecase bullshit. Uuuuuugh.

Uh. Uh. What the FUCK is going on with these roses I swear to god.

….Have all of these been in her goddamn locker?

….Whats...what? Wait did she just acknowledge the shadow girls? Assuming I just didn't miss it is it like...Utena getting closer understanding to...Whatever weird bullshit magic field that exists in ohtori?

….Birds huh. Are the black roses supposed to be like...I guess the Jungian Shadow thing? Huh.

EVEN LIGHT MAKES DARKNESS? What the...

Wait, does sword stealing grant the sword's....owner? Their talent? Anthy...?

Also, are we EVER going to get a reaction to the weirdness.

Bird in the oven. And...Juri just waking up

Wait a fucking second. Anthy just offerred up...analysis? Of a person? Conversation partner.

Episode 18

Nanami out here asking the real fucking questions. WHY SO SERIOUS GUYS THIS SHITS OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS.

Oh god is Mitsuru the next duelist? Is Utena Going to fight an EVEN YOUNGER CHILD?

ROSES ARE VERY SENSITVE TO THE CHANGES OF THE SEASONS. Given the roses seem to be kinda like...people representatives that's..

Also, Anthy, sympathizing with the boy who wants to be the...servant? Boytoy? What.

Also, why is nanami consistently got the fucking reads when she isn't up her own ass?

Mitsuru ACT LIKE A KID, says nanami.

Mitsuru: It's...Just a banana. I don't get it. BUT THE INDIRECT KISS THOUGH.

Mikage Seminar. AGAIN.

Those Three Dudes. Wait.

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. PLEASE DON”T

AKIO: AS THE STARS AGE THEY LOSE THEIR SHINE.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaajustdon'tstopscreaming.

...wait elevato-no. But we got a black rose. Are...

Wait are the black roses specific people or are they more generalized.

Mitsuru is trying so hard. He's a hardcore kid, but he's trying damnit.

Girl: This is gonna end badly. You're Real Dumb

Proven Right Immediately. She's got the reads.

Mitsuru: ADULT THINGS! BEIN AN ADULT!

Nanami, are you jealous? Of a Kid?

Nanami: you shouldnt be in a rush. You don't gotta be an adult.

OH BOY ELEVATOR TIME.

Mitsuru has such a crush, it's cute and he doesn't know what to do and he's just gotta ride those feels. Puberty is apparently rough for him.

Mitsuru break the world fuck it.

Uh...the framing here is...um. Disquieting in a weird way?

KNIFE AND SWORD and what the fuck is with the rose...?

Shadow Time: The Metaphor is uh...pretty on the nose here.

And Utena is 100% reacting to the shadow girls.

Anywya, time to beat up a child.

Oh he just fucking oes. Just like Nanami in fairness but.

Wait. Heed your master and come forth. Like the phrasing suggests the duelist but...Anthy is the one who calls the sword. Uh..hm.

Defeat the adults ahead of you that's an adult? Huh.

So, I checked it, but the bodies seem to be mirrors of the people who got dueled. So...That's interesting.

Did...Did nanami just catch feels from the kid? Ok. Well. Alright.

Episode 19

Wakaba Prince Dreams. Nice.

Wakaba gonna make someone a nice wife. Huh. Wakaba, don't take that out of his hands.

Onion Prince.

Brown Rose Wakaba? ok.

You...you gonna give that her? It's for her. Wakab, you of all should know better.

...Y'all got some history wakaba? Oh. She crushed on him when little. Baw.

HOW MANY TIMES ARE THEY GONNA REPEAT THAT!?

4 times?

Tatsuya tryin I guess, but hm. I sense a hellavator ride.

PLAYIN AROUND WITH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENT.

POT MEET KETTLE God.

Please. Just...get out. I beg you. Anthy's there but...

Thinly Veiled BUT SECRET HEARTS: IMMEDIATELY VIEW ANTHY.

Wakaba, you've got guts for days, you got this just spit it out.

Utena don't call wakaba out like this.

Also, Her prince is REAL THANK YOU MUCH.

The Utena Tea Sip I need as a reaction gif. Just...

Damn Tats, you dense. Also, dumb. The Indirectness. Kid. Just...Tell her.

...So princes change from person to person? Huh.

THE FAKE OUT. Thank goodness. But Shadow girls. Uh...hm.

Are...are the tires..Princes...? Wha..

her reacting to the shadow girls is weirding me out hard.

Oh god is this gonna be a cute moment? OH THEYRE GETTING CLOSER!

WHOA THE FAKE OUT AGAIN.

TATSUYA YOU STAY OUT OF THERE GODDAMNIT

Hooboy.Hellavatored.

Uh...Uh tats. You...

Wait, is the elevator going up?

Huh. So...The Elevator is praying on darkness? OK.

SAIONJI IS BACK. THATS WAKABA'S PRINCE!

So...That might work poorly. Or maybe it'll be fine?

That's A Dueling Wakab, so no, not great.

Episode 20

Wait, is Saionji just bumming at her house? Dorm room?

Saionji confirmed to be attractive to many so...MK.

...Are they off campus?

She's legit storing this boy in her room.

I...ok. That home exchange was weird.

I can't tell if Saionji is pulling a woe is me thing or if he's legit had a turn of heart.

I mean I guesss he's had to think things through.

JUST PRAYING TO GOD. SUPER RELIGIOUS YEP SUPES TOTES INTO GOD YEAH

...How is he glistening like that.

But Wakaba, like he's still a dick. So...What...how. Do you just got the bad taste?

As Long as I have this secret I'm special! Oh...hoooooooooooboy.

Oh no, saionji sounds jerky still. Oh no. maybe it's fine.

...Is...Is she his sugar momma. And apparently this caused wakaba to just go super mode somehow so that's...interesting.

The lighting here is making this otherwise innocuous exchange weird.

Why are you doing a back bridge in this room? Also...please. Get out of there.

Saionji...? That's..actually kinda sweet. STILL GOT A BAD VIBE GOIN ON HERE.

Saionji asking bout the student council. And...he asked about anthy. Welp. Welllllp.

Welp. Oh no. wakaba. Wakabaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mikage how the hell did you get there?

Saionji, immediately on the uptake.

HELLAVATOR TIME. Also, damn saionji, you given out the same gift?

I seem to recall Wakaba slapping Anthy, so that's just foreshadowing now.

Oh she looks like she's gonna murder.

Saionji gave mikage the thing so....

SHE JUST GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT

SHADOW TIME

Marriage uh..ok.

Also, Saionji is, in fact, a fucking dip, but he does at least seem to have a solid grasp on gift giving. Or at least what's owed and such, even if he misses the value of things. So...Ok, credit where it's due.

Wait, that was a shinai right? Is this...is this Utena Vs Saionji from the otherside now? With Utena as the Established duelist with the weird sword?

Yeah that's a face of shock.

Anthy: GET SWORD RIGHT THE FUCK NOW DO IT NOW HOLY SHIT DO IT NOW.

Wakaba CAME IN TO KILL ANTHY FUCK THIS DUEL SHIT.

SHE IS NOT REMOTELY PLAYING AROUND. Nanami? Playing games. Wakaba? NOT FUCKING AROUND IN THE LEAST.

Second Duel(?) Utena has won without the cursed ass holy sword thing. I think. Third. Rather.

Saionji feelin himself.

Poor wakaba. She looks so...done.