#ok that didn't go NEARLY as badly as i thought it would

[blackjackkent]

Well. Hector feels fucking awful now, but you know what will make him feel better? Beating the hell out of the area boss.

"Wait. Elevated gyroscopes. Triple-set quadropecs. No... it can't be..."

Karlach got this conversation because it was an autotrigger as we got close to the door; normally this annoys me a smidge but it kind of makes sense here since Hector is still super rattled by the events of the previous post.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I hear it through the floor. Powerful. Indestructible. The ultimate Watcher - the Titan."

"The Watcher tightens what? Whatever it be, Minsc will knock it loose!"

I love Minsc. XD

"It shames me to admit this, but you must face this beast of Gondian folly alone. I would be crushed in an instant. When it raises its shields, strike it with every scrap of magic and might you possess... and pray to Gond that it does not fire upon you. Good luck, my friend."

...uh oh.

-----

There are three things in the next room, all labeled "Hellfire Watcher." I'm not sure if these are what Toobin was talking about.

The room is also lined with a great deal of the same pulsating flesh material that marked the oubliette at Moonrise.

In the back of the room is a large steel sphere that I suspect is our target, as its lined with both mechanical cabling and fleshy nerve lines, and is connected to something labeled "Neural Switchboard". I'm guessing this is the control mechanism for all of the Watchers in the city.

Quite scared of this fight but there's no way out but through. XD

Aaaaaand as soon as the fight started, the platform in the center of the area lifted up and revealed...

Selune's moonlit ass, THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-NINE HP? Fuck me, you know what, I give up, let the Absolute have me.

Kidding, of course. (Mostly.)

Combat log number whatever the hell:

My opening strategy was the brute force that Team Juggernaut is very good at, and our team are such forces of nature at this point that we got the titan below half health before it was able to get a shot off.

I also opened with putting having Jaheira toss both Freedom of Movement and Shield of Faith on Hector before going owlbear, since the most scary thing about the Watchers is not actually their damage but their crowd control and Hector is the squishiest of the group.

At this point the fight's Exciting Gimmicks kicked in:

OK, that all seems... fine. O.O;

Investigating the various status effects, we learn that Hellfire Curse has given everyone disadvantage on STR/DEX/CON saves, and Defensive Protocol: Bulwark makes the Titan "Unyielding" (ignores attacks under 15 damage) and gives it access to "Repair Matrix" (a self-heal), "Repelling Protocol" (a damaging knockback), and "Hellfire Missiles", which it just used, which is an AOE attack that does...

...ahem...

96-576 DAMAGE.

OK, let's get everyone out of that fucking red circle RIGHT NOW. The bright side here is that while bulwarked it doesn't seem to take opportunity attacks, meaning we can all scatter like the terrified rabbits that we are.

I had Jaheira summon a dryad to get some more bodies on the field and it was IMMEDIATELY, like literally instantly, completely obliterated by one of the Hellfire Watchers. So that's a fourth level spell slot wasted.

Interestingly, the hellfire missiles never actually went off; I had Hector do a full round of attacks on it with the intention of booking it after he was out of actions/bonus actions - but it just stopped and came out of Bulwark during his last hit. I'm actually not at all clear what happened here, even looking at the combat log; it seems like Hector might have staggered it, but also maybe it just dropped it after taking a certain amount of damage? Unclear.

Regardless, it meant that Minsc was able to finish it off before it could make another attack! Jaheira (whose background is Soldier! I hadn't realized!) got an inspiration for this:

This is hardly the first one we've destroyed so I'm not sure why she only got this now. :P

It didn't explode when it died, either, which was a nice change.

It's carrying, for some reason, a legendary level bow which looks dope as shit:

That's actually fucking wild. This one goes to Jaheira.

The fight unfortunately did not stop being scary at this point because there were still three Steel Watchers on the field. But we're starting to get fairly practiced at dealing with them and are also bolstered by the fact that these are probably the last ones we'll have to fight, thank the gods. Tossed Jaheira into owlbear form and let her smack the shit out of one of them which was very satisfying.

In the end, I managed to time it out so all three were in detonation phase at the same time and went off one right after the other. Let's fucking goooooooo!

[not-magdi]

The one bed trope

Summary: Having to share a bed with your best friend because what could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1k

A/N

I didn't do any proofreading because it's way too late for my brain to function so apologies for any mistakes I made.

Between playing for the national team and having to be back in Barcelona, the players got a few days off to recover a bit. And since many barça players also played for Spain, they decided to rent a house and enjoy their little holiday together. 

A few players had their partners with them, wanting to spend the little time they had together.  

Normally, only girlfriends were allowed on these little get-togethers well, there is one exception. 

The one and only Y/N Y/L/N, best friend and obvious secret crush of Pablo Gavi. The two of them met when Pablo threw a ball at Y/N's face and laughed at her as she started crying.  

After his parents forced him to apologize to her, the two of them became friends. She started to attend his football games, and he helped her learn for her tests. 

Y/N was the first he came to when a game didn't go like he wanted it to, the only one who could calm him down after his temper got the best of him. 

Pablo protected Y/N with everything he had. A boy treated her badly? Ohh, believe me, Pablo had his head. She called him crying because school stressed her? That boy came running to her house at lightspeed. 

 Nothing and nobody could separate these two, they always tried to do as much as they could together. So her going on holiday with him was no surprise. 

The Sevillian is currently driving to the airport to pick Y/N up, she is arriving a day later as she could get time off sooner. 

Waiting at the arrival hall, a smile grew on his face as he saw Y/N's bright orange hoodie she stole from him and worn religiously for the past 12 years. The ends were starting to frizz and the color was not nearly what it used to be. 

A slap on the back of his head rips him out of his thoughts, blinking rapidly he sees the orange hoodie standing before him. 

"You back in the real world again?" 

"Y-yeah sorry, I'm still a bit tired" Scratching the back of his neck out of embarrassment he answers. 

Accepting his answer Y/N engulfs Pablo in a tight hug, hiding her face into his neck. Happy to be back together with her Pablito again. 

"I missed you Pablo-Bear" she mumbles into his neck, tightening her arms around him. 

"Mhm, missed you too you big teddy" 

Pablo hoped Y/N couldn't feel how his heart was nearly beating out of his chest, and how his cheeks were the same color as cherries.

After they were done hugging for about five minutes he grabbed her suitcase and basically dragged her to his car. 

"Woah Pablo slow down, nobody is chasing us!" 

"I know but I can't wait for you to see the house, it's so beautiful" 

Laughing Y/N lets herself be dragged to the car, the touch of Pablo's hand against hers hot on her skin. 

They arrived at the house after a short drive, Y/n being completely mesmerized by the beauty of the house, nearly running into a plant pot while staring at one of the big windows. 

After greeting everybody, Y/N decided to unpack her things. Following Pablo up to her room she walks in behind him. Confused Y/N looks around the room, seeing clothes scattered around the room. 

" Pablo ... am I sharing with someone?"

"Y-yeah um funny story actually ... you're kind of sharing with me"

"O-oh um ok, yeah sure no problem ... but are we sharing a bed too?"

"No! ... well yes! Umm o-only if you want w-we don't have to ... I can totally sleep on the couch if you want"

"N-no ... no problem at all, I mean it's not the first time we sleep in the same bed right?"

It would be the same right?

Well, nothing much changed since then, only the way Y/N's heart jumps every time his brown eyes look at her, or how her stomach feels all warm and fuzzy when she sees his beautiful smile, and the way his eyes shine while he does it.

But hey what could possibly go wrong? 

Well after unpacking and meeting everybody at the pool they discussed what they wanted to do for the week. The whole time she could feel Pablo's eyes on her, tracing every move she made.

Now they were all sitting on the outside lounge letting a peaceful day come to an end.

After yawning for the tenth time Y/N decides to call it a day, waking the sound-asleep Pablo who is cuddled up to her she bids the whole group goodbye taking the sleepy boy with her.

Arriving at their room Pablo immediately flops down onto the mattress.

"Pablo come on you need to change you can't sleep in jeans"

"Hmpf nooo let me sleep in peace"

Climbing into the bed next to him she cuddles herself into the blanket. After she feels the bed dip behind her she turns around, only to be met with Pablo already looking at her.

"Goodnight Pablito"

"Night Y/N, sleep well"

Minutes turned into hours and Y/N was still tossing around, not able to fall asleep. Little did she know that on the other side, Pablo had the same problem as her.

Suddenly she feels two arms wrap around her, tightening around her waist.

"I know you're asleep right now and I hope you can't hear me right now but I just wanted to tell you that you have no idea how much you mean to me and that I hope that one day I have the courage to actually tell you how much I love you and not in a friend way. I know you probably don't feel the same but I just have to get that off my chest. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to look you in the eyes anymore."

"Don't worry your secret's safe with me"

"Fuck you're awake ... Y/N I'm so sorry please forget what I said. I don't want to lose you over t-"

Shutting him up with a kiss on his plump lips she leans over wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for you to say this"

"S-so you f-feel the same?"

"Yes, I really really like you too"

Kissing her again the two of them fall asleep together, Pablo having Y/N in his arms, the same since they were kids.

Or was it the same?

No, it was way better this time <3

[luveline]

you're writing for bradley!! i am so so excited!! could i request just some domestic fluff with shy!reader and bradley? maybe her coming home from a long day and he's just the perfect boyfriend with a glass of wine and a hug ready for her? love u gorgeous 💗

thank you for requesting, babe, I absolutely adored writing this and him, let me known if you have any more!! —bradley helps you feel better after a bad, long day with wine and a multitude of hugs. fem!reader 1k

You push into your apartment, a ground floor slotting of sandblown terracotta tiles and wooden shutters weakened by termites, and pause. There's something wrong, a humming sound. 

You take a step back toward the door and slide your phone from your pocket. 

Hi Bradley, where are you? I think somebody has been in my apartment. Should I worry? you text him. You've continued a streak of politeness with him even now, too shy to dip into the familiarity you feel when he's holding you close over the phone. You follow it up quickly. Don't worry, I'm sure it's okay. Do you know what time you'll be coming over? Any time is OK.

"It's me!" Bradley calls with an easy chuckle. Couch springs creak as he jumps up, and a second later he appears in the living room doorway with a frankly breathtaking grin, shoving his cell into his pocket. "I'm coming over right now. Holy shit, would you look at you?" 

You hold your bag closer to your side, hair not nearly as neat as it started that morning, the day's chaos etched into the small wrinkles either side of your eyes. "Me?" 

When he smiles, it's all white top teeth and joy. For someone who's been through so much, and who works so hard, he's a shaken bottle of fizzy happiness whenever the moment allows —you barely have time to put your bag next to the rack of shoes (and there, his shoes you must've missed toed off and perfectly aligned with your sandy flip flops) when he's crossing the hall in quick strides and pulling you into an ecstatic embrace. 

"Hey," he says, kissing your cheek, moustache not scratchy but far from soft. It rubs a wonky trail as he kisses without goal. Kiss on your nose, your cheek, close enough to your eye to make you cringe and back away. 

"Hi, Brad," you say breathlessly. 

You need time to prepare yourself for seeing him usually, his sudden closeness catching you off guard. You struggle to make any sense of how much he likes you, but you've given up denying his attention. You want it too badly. 

He doesn't stall at your obvious (embarrassing) flustering; he doubles down. His arms like steel cords behind your shoulders, Bradley noses at the side of your face, his breath warm on your cheek as he says, "Sorry, I thought surprising you might be nice, but I didn't think about your nerves." 

"My nerves," you say. 

"Your bad nerves. You're flighty." He gives it another press, the straight line of his nose digging into your cheek before he pulls away. 

Bradley doesn't give you time to miss his arms around you. He makes for the kitchen, notices you aren't following, and grabs your hand. Tugging, he takes you into the kitchen and elbows open your refrigerator, revealing a better sight than what you'd seen this morning. 

"I had to go out again when I saw your fridge," he says, ducking down to push aside what looks like the makings of your favourite meal to unearth a pretty bottle of red. "Sweetheart, when you said you had a shitty breakfast, I was picturing, like, half a grapefruit. Did you eat anything?" 

He only knows what you'd texted him, shitty breakfast code for the found half of a cereal bar in your jacket. 

You don't like to text Bradley too much in case you put him off, but today was bad, and you know he doesn't mind. He'd told you so only a few days ago. His hand full of your stomach, hot under the collar, you can't remember what you'd been talking about initially, your memory intricately busy remembering the planes of his tightly muscled torso and the feeling of his weight atop you, but suddenly he'd been leaning down, brown eyes pleading. "You can talk to me," he'd said. "About anything. I want to hear it. You know that, right?"

So you texted him somewhere around lunch time and had been delighted to find him puttering around doing a whole lot of nothing. He's been keeping himself busy on leave, staying fit, helping your elderly upstairs neighbour put together her new chest of drawers between half marathons and surfing, regular dreamboat stuff. 

I think I'm having a bad day, you'd said. What are you up to, Brad? Can I still see you tonight? 

Why do you act like I'm not obsessed with you? he'd text back immediately. Kidding. Kind of. What's wrong? Can I bring you lunch? 

Raincheck on lunch? I don't think I'll have time. I'll explain later if that's OK. Miss you. 

Miss you too, baby. I wanna hear all about it tonight.

You blink up from his hands to find him staring at you worriedly. You're in your own head, exhausted and a little muddled after such a long day, and he clearly doesn't like it. 

"Is wine gonna make you feel worse?" he asks, tapping your thigh with his knuckles. 

"Definitely not," you say.

"Before dinner?" 

Your smile turns sheepish. You want the wine much more than the dinner, but if you get both, you won't complain. 

He leans back against the fridge, arms crossed, the neck of the wine bottle held precariously in a confident hand. "Sure you're okay?" he asks. 

"I will be." You take a brave step forward and look up into his face. It's difficult to grasp what it is he sees in you when he's like something out of a movie, all brains, brawn, and bleeding heart. You don't get it, but he wants you, and he's here. "Thanks for coming over, Bradley." 

"This shtick again?" he asks, raising his brows. 

"This shtick again," you repeat, grinning at the implication. 

He hooks your ankle with his. "Thanking me for coming over is like thanking a fish for swimming. Couldn't stop myself if I wanted to." 

Your laugh is a wheeze. Brad does you the generosity of pretending you've made a more intelligible sound and pulls you in for a one-armed hug, rubbing a rough up and down into your side. It's such a nice feeling to be tucked up under his arm that you can almost forget how badly you want a glass of wine. 

"Want the big glasses from the top shelf?" Bradley asks knowingly. 

"Yes. Please." 

[randomized-sims24]

Aftermath Of The Attack

(small spoilers for yesterday's SAMS episode, also have a follow up fic to the event (could also be considered a followup to this one))

——————————————————————————

Sun was at the house playing with Jack, Dazzle and even Molten had joined in with them, when he heard muffled shouting near the door. Looking up he saw Monty and Solar. Monty was carrying something that he quickly realized was Moon.

As he stood he asked Jack, Dazzle and Molten to go up to their room for a bit, the three agreeing and going up as Sun went to open the door.

“Monty? Solar? Moon, what's going-”

“Ask questions later, move.”

Sun stepped back as Solar and Monty rushed inside to the couch, Sun following.

“Guys what's going on?” He stopped and looked down at Moon.

He was curled up tight, the back of his head lightly smoking and his whole body shaking. Sun could feel a faint wave of negative energy coming off of him.

The feeling made him grip the back of the couch as he asked again.

“What happened to him?”

Solar left to get something cold for Moon's head, leaving Monty to answer.

“I don't know entirely but I heard screamin’ from Parts and Service. I went to check it out ‘n found Nexus holdin’ him down. Threatened to shoot ‘im if he didn't step off and he left. I don't know what the bastard did to ‘im but he nearly broke his circuit board in half. I think the bastard tried to kill ‘im.”

That made something tighten in Sun's stomach. This was twice now that Moon had encountered Nexus, but this is the first time he's actually hurt him so badly.

“Is Earth here? Or Lunar?” He heard Monty ask.

He managed to shake his head no, stuck in his thoughts as he stared down at Moon, shaking horribly like he was freezing.

“Luckily we managed to hold ‘im down long enough to saulder the board together again and had to repair a little in the cylinder thing.” Monty said.

“And he kept screaming “I'm sorry, I'm sorry Johnathan. No idea why though.” Solar mentioned as he came back with a cold cloth.

Sun swallowed hard as he sat down next to the couch.

“Johnathan was one of the few kids that wasn't scared of Moon. He took a liking to the kid. He found out things weren't good in his home and one night he snuck out, followed him home to see what the problem was…whatever happened there Johnathan never came back to the daycare. He never left that house alive again…I don't know if Moon killed him, or someone else did. But it's torn him up ever since. Not as bad as it used to but it still bothers him now and then…”

“So that's why…” Solar muttered to himself..

“His system is cooling down a bit…his battery's pretty low too…”

“S…un…?”

He looked over to Moon, his brother trying to weakly reach for him.

Sun moved to kneel in front of the couch and placed a hand on his shoulder, firm and comforting. He saw now that Moon's eyes were completely dark- had the encounter left him blind too?

Trembling fingers lightly grasped his wrist, the shaking easing a bit when they did.

“S…ta…y…”

Then he completely shut down, body relaxing a little as he did.

Sun sighed, staying for a moment before going to get the portable charger.

“Someone…hurt Moon?”

Sun looked to the door of his bedroom, Molten standing at the frame.

“I thought I asked you to stay with Jack and Dazzle.”

“They are…napping. Who hurt him.”

Sun sighed. “Molten, you can't go after him. As much as we'd like to see someone hand his ass to him, if you tried he'd kill you easy. Not to mention the dragon…we aren't entirely sure where he even is anyway so trying to find him right now would be pointless.”

“But Moon will be fine,” Sun said, more to reassure himself than anyone else. “We'll make sure he's OK, Molten. For now just stay with the others. If they ask just…tell them Moon isn't feeling too good right now, ok? Please?”

Molten was quiet. He made a promise to himself to protect his friends, his family.

“Fine…but will you…tell me…if you find…anything?”

“I don't know. Maybe? That might be more for Moon or Solar to decide though. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it though. For now just go on to your room, alright? Moon will be ok, he just needs to rest for a few days is all.”

Sun left the room, coming downstairs again. Solar had already covered Moon with a blanket, while Monty was trying to explain to Earth, in the best way possible, what had happened.

Telling Lunar would be trickier, to try and not let him get too worked up.

Sun hooked Moon up to the charger and sat by the couch again, watching Moon silently as he charged.

“Next time you meet him, I'll be there. Maybe this time I can protect you from him…”

-end-

[matthyeu]

Just had a thought and now it won’t get out do my head: What do you think an arcade date with zb1 would be like? What’s their favourite game? How’s the most competitive? Who will win you something? Who tells you to win your own things?

ARCADE DATES WITH ZB1

ft. my cursed thoughts bc i didn't have the energy to flesh stuff out

can be taken romantically or platonically bc friends can have arcade dates too

(i love having funny thoughts in between studying + reliving some cute moments looking back at prom photos for inspo so thank you for this)

favorite games:

jiwoong: he's effortlessly just good at everything to the point where he casually plays all the games when you're sitting there like ?? how

hao: over there playing guitar hero or some shit i swear like proving musical talent to the core!!

hanbin: ddr 100% you can not tell me man isn't on dance dance revolution every single moment there. you can't pull him away either. he devours it too like got everyone watching like that one kid

matthew: bro loves playing claw machines to look at cute things bc me too he just sees things and is like "ooooo" and somehow ends up at it for hours but only comes back with one thing for you (it's the thought that counts)

taerae: he's always on the coin pusher but he's so bad like idk why he plays but he loves standing there BUT he will get frustrated when they won't fall and smack it so he gets the alarm rang on him

ricky: he probably likes to play skee ball. idk why but it gives the VIBES like he would probably like how he looks cool. bc it's like the closest thing to bowling and he seems like someone who would like to look cool while bowling

gyuvin: pacman. he has tried every game and found out he is bad at them. the only thing he can go back to is pacman.

gunwook: playing streetfighter but like seriously. has my man sweating over here. please bring a towel for him.

yujin: he gives me the vibes of someone who would play those like shooting simulator whether it be jurassic park or like those ones with the zombies. and he might get jumpscared lol

most competitive: hao

doesn't really try to be but the moment you're in there challenging him, he's going at 100%

would win at like every game and you're sitting their regretting ever doubting him

though he just gives you all his points afterward so you can do whatever you want for prizes

that's the real reason he just wanted some motivation to get more points for you

wins you things: matthew, jiwoong, ricky (kinda)

we've already talked about matthew spending hours to get something for you (he's super diligent about it he will get you the thing you want even if he spends all his money)

wbk jiwoong good at it all, so no surprise he comes back with whatever you wanted (doesn't matter if its 1 or 10 he shall get them all)

so now ricky

why kinda?

well he doesn't actually win you it

he tries but then finds out that it's all a scam and nearly impossible

so he tries to bribe the employee to give it to him

ends up buying it from them for you so it's the same thing right??

tells you to win your own things: yujin, taerae

OK TAERAE IS KINDA GOOFY

he wants to but then gets frustrated that he can't bc like?? who made it so damn hard

so he tries and then almost breaks the machine so ends up telling you to do it yourself

and then we have yujin who's just just like "do it yourself" bc he doesn't wanna

but then you keep bothering him about it bc you can't win

like bro getting a lil annoyed with how badly you want something

so then he plays it

wins

but then keeps it for himself

he says it's compensation for you bothering him about it LMAO

too busy to even be near a machine: hao, hanbin, gyuvin, gunwook

well technically hao is going to get points to get you prizes but he's staying away from the machines knowing they're a scam

the other three though, they're off in their own worlds

like

they take their games very seriously (especially hanbin & gunwook)

gyuvin's just having a nice time being immersed so you don't want to bother him

[tailless-whale]

Disclaimer: this post is mostly just me working out my feelings, trying to figure out how I feel etc. Also it's kinda long.

Ok so my partner is coming out as nonbinary (they/she) and I have a lot of thoughts about it...

I'm super excited for them!!! That feeling of accepting that you're trans is overwhelming but also so thrilling. I remember when my egg started to crack and I was like "fuck, I really am a boy". I got such a thrill when I accepted who I am. I'm so excited for them to be feeling that way and to be going through that journey because it's something I'm experiencing myself and it's been absolutely fantastic. Sure there were some painful moments but the positives far outweigh any negatives I've experienced. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life because I'm finally living my authentic self, and I'm so excited to see my partner go through all that and find herself. I love hearing how they're feeling and seeing how she gets a little happier when they tell me about her plans to transition.

I've also been thinking about and reevaluating my sexuality in relation to her gender identity. I struggled with my sexuality a while, and only recently (thought I had) figured it out. I used to identify as pansexual, but when I started dating again I found that I'm much more attracted to men than I am to women. For the past year or so I've identified primarily as a gay man, and my partner's transition has made me question that. I love my partner dearly and I plan to stick with them regardless of how they identify, but I do worry. I think I'm primarily attracted to masculinity, and I'm concerned that my attraction will wane if they decide to be more feminine. I don't think it will, but I do worry. I am a little frustrated though - I thought I had finally figured myself out, that I had a label that fit me - and now I don't know what I am all over again.

I've also been thinking about the challenges they'll face as a nonbinary person in a binary world. I identified as nonbinary for a long time before transitioning to a binary trans man, and it was hard feeling like I couldn't quite express my gender without facing opposition from those around me because I wasn't conforming to traditional gender roles. I don't think she'll have many problems with their friends, but I think some of her family will be a different story. I can see some of their family misgendering them out of ignorance or prejudice, and it's difficult and dysphoria inducing to be misgendered by people close to you. I don't like that she'll probably have to deal with that because I know how badly that hurts. I don't want her to feel pain because they're pursuing what makes them happy :(

I'm also wondering if their gender identity will change over time. Mine sure did! I knew from the beginning of our relationship that although they identified externally as a cis man, that they certainly are not a cis man. To be completely honest, I've been waiting for them to accept that they're not a cis man, and to actually do something about it. I've watched them try to perform masculinity in the same way that I tried to perform femininity before my egg cracked. Our second date they told me they didn't like their name and they prefer to go by things other than their birth name, and that they've already tried out a few names. When I asked them what name they would have chosen for themselves, I filed that answer away and nearly a year later, she told me that she was thinking of going by that same name they told me our second date. They've made so many offhanded comments that made me say "oh yeah, they're definitely not cis" that I was surprised this didn't happen sooner. I'm so happy that she's starting to accept, and perhaps eventually embrace their newfound gender. I do wonder if they'll ever go full girl, but I don't want to push them towards something they don't want or something she's not ready to do yet.

They're planning on shaving off their beard on Thursday and I'm super nervous about that (they started growing it when we first started dating; they've had a beard the whole time we've been together) but I'm happy that she's doing what makes her happy. I know I'll love her regardless of how they choose to look 💜

Also, I love using they/she for her!!! It feels so natural; I always felt weird about calling them a he. I keep wanting to call them my girlfriend but I still need to ask how she feels about that... I default to partner for now but I'll admit while writing this post I accidentally typed "girlfriend" a few times and had to correct myself.

Regardless of my worries, I'm super happy and excited for my partner and I'm looking forward to holding their hand every step of the way as they embark on their journey to trans their gender. I'm literally giggling and kicking my feet thinking about how it feels to reach different milestones and feel validated in one's identity, and I'm so psyched to see them experience those feelings. This is the start of a new era for them and it's so exciting to see how excited she is to do this! :D

[nuttyhatter]

Hi, I may or may not delate this later, but I wanted to rant about the werewolf incident between Snape and the marauders and its honest sheer idiocy. And I mean Idiocy on everyone's part.

First, Sirius. What the fuck is wrong with you, man? What made you think that it would be a good idea?! Are you really going to say that you thought Snape would not get gravely hurt? That he could not end up dead or cursed like your friend? You know, the one you outed?!?

Now, Snape. What kind of rubbish crossed your mind when you decided that doing what one of your bullies said was a good idea? What made you think that going to a supposedly haunted house in the middle of a full moon nigth was ok? In Hogwarts, the castle next to a forest full of creatures and deadly plants. This boy suspected that something was happening, and I've read that he had already started to figure out Lupin's problem. So why did he go!?!?

And Dumbledore. Did you really think that detention was a good way to deal with near murder? I'm not talking about it being sufficient, though it wasn't. I'm saying that there were a bunch of very traumatised teenagers rigth in front of him and he didn't do anything, or at least, nothing that had been explicitly mentioned. I'm talking about some kind of counseling and a better eye on them. Things had clearly gone too far, but you take one and punish him in quite an inefficient manner and don't specifically tell him why; take the other and threaten him into silence, then tell him that he owes a life debt; praise the other for his heroic actions (which perhaps was right but, idk, just hope he didn't do it in front of Snape just when he was dragged out of the shack, that would hace been too soon. Also, I've seen people writing Lily using James' saving Snape's life as proof of the later being unfair and the former being good, which only points to Potter not knowing when to keep his mouth closed...); and lets not forget about the werewolf whose secret was reveled by one of his friends and was nearly pushed to kill someone, did Dumbledore do something for the boy not to mentally collapse?

Just, it was all handled so badly.

Sirius felt way more guilty about revealing Remus nature than nearly killing someone. He kept talking about how much of a pest Severus was and seemed to pretty much think he truly deserved what he got. I don't think Sirius was a bad person, he was screwed, the place he grew up ensured that, but he had other people, he had the chance to learn and was capable of emphaty. But I don't think it really hit home what he nearly did.

James must truly have felt like a hero and what he did was brave, but bragging about it was degrading for Snape and a remainder for Lupin, not to mention the fact that the question of what he had saved Snape from, was dangerous territory for Remus.

Snape was nearly killed and then left alone to deal with it with no kind of support or compensation. I understand the need to keep things secret, but the life debt thing was going too far.

It's just that I get they were kids, only 15, but they had or should have had enough awareness to think trough what they were doing.

Dumbledore had a lot on his plate, and again, I don't think he was bad, but he screwed up.

Honestly, is there a fic where Severus thinks something like 'nah, no way I'm going there, I don't care if they think I'm a coward, I'm not that stupid' and then goes to bed to wake up the next day with nothing happening?

[jaybird-fanfics]

Villain Roommate |Chapter One|

(Fair warning before you start reading, I am not caught up with the manga so things might not be true to the canon story line. But this is a fanfiction, you didn't come here for canon did you?

Also, this will be a slow burn. Well, as slow as I can make it lol, don't expect to get it on with Dabi within the first few chapters. That being said, there will be smut. I'll put a warning on the chapter(s) that will involve it.

That's all, enjoy reading)

It had been a long day at work. All you wanted to do, was go home, get some food in your, watch a little of your favorite show/movie, then go right to bed. Your boss didn't go easy on you today, which only made you yearn for some alone time even more. What had you done to set him off? Nothing, no really, you did nothing except come in a few minutes late. He must have been pre-pissed off, cause there was no need for him to cause a scene like he did. You sigh and look at your phone, checking the time.

8:30 pm. Yep, time to go home. You gathered your things and made for the elevators. You stepped in and pushed the lower floor button, then leaned against the wall with a heavy exhale. You waited while soft yet annoying elevator music played all the way down to the bottom floor. The doors opened, letting you walk out.

You decided to go the quickest way home tonight, not that you'd ever go the long way. Especially at night. However tonight, you came across something that would prevent you from going the quick way. Construction signs, tape, and blocks were up on the street you'd always walk down. Nothing had happened yet, but it looks like the road might be worked on.

As it should, you couldn't count the times you nearly tripped because of the uneven cracked road. But you wouldn't mind it tonight, that's how badly you just wanted to go home. However, that would not be the case tonight. You almost thought about hopping over the tape and walking through anyway. But no, you were a good citizen, and tonight, you would take the long way home.

You were just about home, when you came across something that stopped you in your tracks. In the alleyway just next to you, you saw a person slumped up against a wall. You also noticed the blood on his hands. You thought about calling the police, figuring you were but feet from a corpse. But when that "corpse" moved, and groaned. The softer side of you came out, and you rushed over to their side.

"Hey, are you ok?" You ask as you crouched down next to them. They did not answer, they must of finally passed out. You panicked for a moment before remembering-

You has a quirk perfect for this situation!

"It might take too long for help to get here, and I really don't wanna see a person die in front of me..." You said before looking for whatever injury that was causing all this blood. Finally, you found it, a large cut on his side. You moved up their large hoodie just enough to see it. With careful hands, you placed them on the wound, flinching a bit at the warm blood that made contact with your palms.

You took a deep breath in and focused on the wound. And slowly but surely, the wound closed up. You sighed a breath of relief. "Still got it. Now...to get you some help." You pulled out your phone and began to dial nine-one-one, but before you could press the first number, the person grabbed your wrist. You yelp in surprise.

"Don't..."

The person's voice was rough and low, you assumed it was a man's voice. "W-What do you mean don't? You were bleeding out, you need help." You tried to tell him. "You fixed it didn't you?" He asked, referring to his wound. "Yes but, you're beat up pretty bad too. And that wound took a lot out of me, I can't heal the rest of you."

The man finally let go of your hand and stood up, you did as well. He leaned against the wall, panting slightly. He was hurt bad, you may have healed the worst of it, but he was still hurting. Why didn't he want help?

"Then try harder." He demanded. You could get a better look at his face now. His hood was up and he wore a mask and dark shades to hide his face. Why? "I-I can't..."

He was going to say something else but was cut off by coughing, blood stains were forming in the mask. He nearly fell over, but thankfully you caught him. He was heavy. "Look! You're obviously hurt way more than I thought! You need help!" You said more sternly. "If you know what's good for you..." The man said with heavy breaths. "You won't call the fucking cops...got...it?" You knew he passed out when he slumped against you, going limp entirely.

Well...what now?

"Was he threatening me just now? Or warning me?" You asked yourself . Either way, you didn't want to find out what would happen. You had a feeling it would turn out bad. And so, without anymore options, there was only one thing you could do. But you really, really, didn't want to do it.

                                                                  

You were so lucky no one was out at this time. Otherwise, the cops would have been called for dragging a unconscious man into your house.

You groaned as you flopped the half-dead man on your couch. You were totally out of energy, but you needed to make sure this guy doesn't die on you. Or on your couch, in your home. Have fun explaining that to the police. You rolled up your sleeves and got to work. First you struggled to get off the man's hoodie all the way. You gasped at the sight.

Burn marks, deep burn marks. And lots of staples keeping his burnt skin connected to his untouched skin. What did this? Was there an accident? Clearly these aren't fresh, they didn't add to the man's injuries. You took a deep breath, then placed your hands on his chest, slowly moving down his abdomen as you used your quirk. You couldn't heal his scars, but whatever was wrong with him, you could and did heal.

You removed your hands and looked at his face. "I need to get that off of you." You said as you took off his shades and bloodied mask. You dropped both as you got a look at his face. You stood up and backed away.

"No way...no fucking way..."

Laying before you, was none other than the infamous villain Dabi. You had just used your healing quirk, on a villain. And not just any villain, one of Japan's most wanted villain. No wonder he didn't want you to call the cops. Well your sure as fuck was going to do it now. You pulled out your phone and began to dial, but before you could press call, Dabi spoke.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

You almost dropped your phone hearing his voice. You looked up from your phone and saw Dabi bringing himself to a stand. He cracked his neck and wiped away the blood from his mouth. "Did you have fun? Putting your hands all over my body like that?" He smirked. You backed away further until you were against a wall. "Aw, look at you...you're trembling." He said as he took a step closer to you. "You should be." He said lowly.

Your grip on the phone couldn't be any tighter, you thought you'd break it in half. Dabi kept inching closer and closer until he was face to face with you. "Now be a good girl, and give me the phone." Dabi said, holding out his hand. You swallowed hard before shakily giving him you're phone. "Atta girl." Dabi said before tossing it somewhere. Thinking it might break was the least of your worries right now. You were about to be murdered.

"P-Please." You started, your voice barely above a whisper. "Don't kill me."

"Kill you?" Dabi asked. He reached for you. You closed your eyes and waited for what would come next. What did come next however, surprised you. Dabi moved a strand of your hair out of your face, flinching at his touch, you slowly reopened your eyes. "After you saved my life? Ah, don't give me that look. It's not so bad that you saved a wanted man. What are ya? A hero in training?"

You shook your head. "N-No...I'm not."

Dabi looked you up and down. "Hm, yeah, you're not dressed like it. That's for sure. What? You just sit at a desk all day then? How boring." Dabi finally backed off from you. "Anyways, I should be off. Thanks again, life saver." He waved before heading for the exit of your home. "Oh and by the way." He turned to face you.

"If you try to call the police, I'll have to pay you another visit. And I won't be as merciful next time."

With that he left. You fell to your knees, heart and mind racing.

What have you done?

| Next

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Thank you. I appreciate everything you've done already. I admit. I was likely being selfish sending those messages. And especially for not making sure you knew I was okay sooner.

We may not know each other, but from what I'm seen, you're very compassionate.

Thank God for that because it's a precious gift that he's given to you.

As such, I am very, very sorry for most likely having worried you. Matters not whether I did or not. It was inconsiderate regardless & I apologize for that.

And trust me, I have been praying. I've been praising His name very frequently! I certainly don't think I'd have lasted as long as I did if I didn't believe. Mentally, that is. The doctor suggested that things hadn't gone nearly as bad as it could've, which is yet another thing to thank Him for.

Like, I can't even fathom how because it was horrible already. The pain, quite possibly the worst I've ever felt.

But even after it got as bad as it ever did, I still wanted to try & stick it out at home whenever I thought I wasn't doing as badly as I had been. I thought that I was trusting God, but maybe I was actually being prideful by not accepting help when I needed it.

I'm suddenly reminded of a story I heard of a man in a flood who was so sure that God would save him & every time people came to his rescue, he denied them, so when he drowned & went to heaven, he learned that all those people trying to help him? That WAS God saving him, dude was just being stubborn & a bit dumb by not recognizing it.

So, I guess I'm the dummy in the story. *lightheartedly sardonic grin*

Finally, I gave up &, wouldn't you know it? Not too terribly long after I got to the ER & they stuck me with an IV of fluids, I started to get the heck better & all they did was give me saline!! 😆

Of course, there were still a bunch of not fun parts that took place even after it, but compared to that morning, I'd say that I got off pretty easy.

But, I won't go further. It was... it was harrowing. All I'll say is that I had, like, 3 or 4 different things happening to me at once & I wasn't even aware of the 4th until it was, like, closing time!

So, yeah. 0/10, would not recommend. 😂

But it certainly made me thankful to not be in pain at every waking moment.

Anyway, I'll let you go. I'm sure that I'm distracting you from your work. And thanks for the site recommendation & especially for the support! It helps! Like, a lot!

God bless! 🫡

It can be really hard to ask for help, it’s ok. I’m glad you got the help you needed! ❤️

Don’t be sorry! You were scared and dealing with a lot, I don’t mind helping out.

God bless you too, lovely!

[jurassicsickfics]

I've been thinking again about a stoic sickie who wants to keep it together so badly and keep working but it's so obvious they're not doing okay. They're feverish, coughing, sniffling, shaking, pale, the whole nine yards.

Eventually their caretaker confronts them and sickie just completely breaks down, all that shoved down pain coming right back up. They start crying and become super clingy, constantly wanting to be held and comforted.

I thought you might like that scenario, feel free to use any characters you'd like

Awww I love this! So cute. I'd like to start by saying I hope this isn't gonna be weird for you because the characters I chose are related. In no way whatsoever do I ship these two nor am I trying to ship them with this fic. I just like their relationship and I think a nice sickfic comfort between them would be cute. Enjoy!

(This is based somewhere in time between Halloween Kills and Halloween Ends)

As October rapidly approached, Laurie had been relentlessly training, target practicing, gun cleaning and knife sharpening for weeks. She rarely ever took a moment to sit down and certainly wasn't eating enough. Allyson had been trying to convince her to take it easy but, as usual, she wouldn't listen. In all her stubborn glory, Laurie was determined to keep on preparing.

One night, however, Allyson felt that she shouldn't hold her tongue this time. She'd been watching Laurie all day because her grandmother seemed...off. She'd noticed her trembling and shaking, which truthfully wasn't all that unusual, but there wasn't a clear cause like a nightmare or a startling noise like usual. She'd also taken note of just how pale and tired she looked. Which, again, not too unusual. Laurie wasn't exactly known for her good sleeping habits thanks to nightmares. Allyson considered brushing it off as Laurie's usual problems, until she heard a noise from the livingroom...

"Achoo!"

Allyson's gaze immediately flew to Laurie. "Bless you." She said, her expression one of worry and mild confusion. Laurie never sneezed unless she inhaled dust or pepper or something, and...it didn't seem that anything like that had happened. Laurie plucked a tissue from the box on the side table and blew her nose into it with an aggravated groan. "Thanks." Came the short, soft reply. Her voice was softer than usual, and she sounded stuffy.

A couple more sneezes and several phlegmy coughs later, Allyson decided to say something.

"Hey, grandma, are you feeling ok? You seem like you're maybe, um...sick or something."

Laurie glanced up from cleaning her gun. "Yeah, I'm fine. Must've just got into some dust cleaning yesterday." The older woman replied, brushing off her granddaughter's concern with a wave of her hand. Allyson sighed. She should've known. Laurie would never admit weakness unless she was on her death bed. Heck, probably not even then if she could get away with it.

Later in the afternoon, after the sun had warmed the autumn air, Laurie was in the woods, laying into a punching bag tied to a tree while Allyson watched from her seat on a fallen tree.

The final girl's punches and kicks were weaker than usual, and she was breathing heavier, and through her mouth. She took more frequent breaks and flinched on impact as if her body was sore. Allyson hated seeing her grandmother suffer this way; it was more than obvious that Laurie was sick. The teenager had initially planned on letting her eventually admit it herself, but seeing Laurie nearly fall on her butt in a moment of dizziness and coughing was the last straw.

"Hey um...I think maybe we should go back up to the house and relax for a while. You're really not looking too well now. " Allyson stated, her tone firm, but gentle.

Laurie stared at her for what seemed like forever, her eyes wide, clearly shocked that anyone would point out her weakness that way.

Allyson was kicking herself inwardly, convinced she was about to get her butt kicked for that.

But then she saw Laurie's eyes well up with tears, and her expression crumpled into a fit of loud, unrestrained sobbing. Now it was Allyson's turn to stare in shock. She'd seen Laurie cry before, but never like this. Never openly and loudly like that.

"Oh- Oh I'm so sorry, it's ok, don't cry, pleas-" the teenager stammered, being cut off by a wail from the older woman.

Laurie coughed through her sobs and managed to choke out, "I-I...you're right...you're r-right...I-I'm sick...I've been sick...all day..I feel awful..."

Allyson's expression softened. "Hey, it's ok...why didn't you say anything?"

Laurie sniffed a few times as her nose ran like a faucet. She wiped her nose on her own shirt and tried to catch her breath before answering, "I...I can't show weakness..he'll...he'll get me.."

Allyson felt her heart break a little. She knew exactly who "he" was.

Allyson stepped closer and pulled Laurie into a tight, protective hug. Laurie was quick to bury her face in her granddaughter's shoulder, sobbing all the while as Allyson tried to reassure her. Part of her felt weird accepting affection like this, but another part of her, the bigger part at the moment, was sick and desperate for comfort. Allyson kept her arms around her as she lead her up to the house. The cool fall air had a bite to it that made Laurie's muscles and joints ache in that awful, flu-like way.

As soon as the pair were in the house, with the doors and windows all shut and locked as per Laurie's tearful request, they made their way to the couch.

Allyson sat beside her sick grandmother on the couch, rubbing her back and dabbing at the endless flow of tears and snot with a tissue. No matter what she said or did, Laurie couldn't be consoled.

"I know...I know you don't feel good, it's ok..." Allyson crooned, speaking to Laurie in the same way she always talked to her when she was sick. When the only response she got was more pitiful wails, she asked, "What can I do to help you calm down?"

Laurie sniffled and forced a few shaky breaths. "J-just hold me...please..."

Allyson would be lying if she said she wasn't surprised; allowing herself to be comforted was one thing, but actually asking to be held was so far out of character for Laurie that it worried her. But she wasn't about to deny her. She pulled her as close to her as she could on the couch until she was practically on her lap. Actually, in a few moments she was on her lap. With that, Allyson held her close, wrapped a blanket around them both and started to slowly rock.

With Allyson's embrace and rocking, soothing nature shows on TV, and the sound of an autumn rainstorm pattering against the roof and windows, Laurie's tears dried up and she quickly fell asleep. Allyson didn't move until morning, and even then she didn't go far from her grandmother's side. Not until she was better at least. She'd never seen her get upset like that, she never wanted to see it again, so if Laurie wanted to be held for hours, then so be it.

[thegeminisage]

ok! it's star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "paradise" and tng's "thine own self."

paradise (ds9):

this episode was an exercise in correctly predicting vibes. first it was "oh she has vibes" and she did. then it was "she crashed this spaceship herself" and she did. and then it was "this crazy bitch watches fox news" and LO, SHE MENTIONED ANCIENT EARTH RELIGIONS,

sisko in the box was HORRIBLE!!!! i dont know how obrien held back truly. i loved his action hero moments though he really is so much fun

AND sisko nearly got a close enocunter of his own...i wanted more sisko content but not quite like this. please treat him really niceys or at the very least don't put him in a box that was so dehumanizing

i can't believe in the end everybody was just like...yeah lets stay here even tough she let all those people die needlessly when she had the power to save them 🥰 it kind of ruins it, like, there's no fucking consequences??

in fact, humans are totally allowed to start colonies like this with no tech WITH CONSENT. she could have found other like-minded nutjobs and done all of this totally above-board

guy from spn hollywood babylon was in this ep.

thine own self (tng):

I WANTED AMNESIA DATA BUT NOT LIKE THIS!

girl him not knowing what "radioactive" meant even though he remembered concepts like "cellular degeneration"...this is literally why we have the "this is not a place of honor" project and you're telling me they havent nailed that shit by the 2300s?

deeply distressing to watch everyone touch the metal until about halfway through the episode when we remembered this was tng and they'd probably bullshit a cure. which they did do, but it was still distressing to watch. he gave that whole village cancer

AND THEN GOT HATE CRIMED...his head was very fun to look at after his skin got torn off but geez.

i absolutely loved this woman scientist. instead of screaming and running away from him she promptly assigned him iceman at birth and went on about her life. big "that guy has horns oh well not gonna ruin my day" energy. and i mean considering the state of science in her society she was doing pretty good to work with what she had

once again, data is dead and buried. but they exhumed him just like they exhumed beverly nana. his android body has gotta be so old by this point...

"jayden" as data's fake name gave me fits because of course im thinking of mr fbi from heavy rain. been awhile.

i did NOT like the b-plot of this episode. deanna doing badly on the tests until she ordered geordi to die sucked and riker being so harsh with her sucked. i think the lesson was that deanna should have been willing to go in herself and die, although i guess she's not skilled enough to make the repairs. still it feels weird that you can just order someone to die like...geordi's brave and he'd do it but what if he didn't want to? then what? nobody thought this through

if i ordered geordi to die in the holodeck i would never be able to look him in the eyes (or visor, whatever) ever again

however the women on this show did get to talk repeatedly about stretching themselves so there is that i guess

TONIGHT: ds9's "shadowplay" and tng's "masks."

[southernbluebellereader]

Soap doesn't have chronic pain or illness, sure he has his aches and pains from the battlefront but he knows it's nothing compared to what you go through. Especially when you have a flare up. He didn't quite understand what you meant when you first told him, until he saw it. Johnny just thought you were talking about something similar to what he was going through. Old wounds making themselves known even in the dead of night.

It's not until he saw how it damn near completely took you down did he understand, as much as he can anyway. People always underestimate his knowledge but he knows that as able bodied as he is, he won't ever fully know what you go through. He has so much love for you that seeing you in so much pain the first time scared him, shook him to the core.

Even the day after, the sight of your bleeding nails made his chest ache with how badly he wished he could take it away. Take it all himself if needed. Instead, he finds ways to help as best as he can. By now he has a slight method, it seems to help every time.

He uses a warm rag to gently clean the blood, taking time to go through a single finger at a time so you don't get overwhelmed. Once he's done with that, and your hands are dried, he presses kisses to the tips of your fingers. Soft as a summer breeze.

Johnny slowly rubs your favorite lotions, working them up your arms even, while giving you a small massage. Trying to relieve the aches of your bones as softly as he can. He might cry if he put you in more pain.

He does not treat you like a child like some, nor does he treat you as if you're a burden. He would never. He knows what it's like to be seen like that for things beyond your control, especially by a partner and would rather die than have you think those things. You're his love, his darling, the one person he can see spending the rest of his life with. He will do his best to take care of you every time, no matter what it takes. -🦇

Ok I’m crying at the club right now - In this case I’m crying before class

Jonny wouldn’t let you lift a god damn finger. Your body essentially fighting against itself. It frustrates him to no end that out of all people it should be him who should be in pain, not you. Yet here you are.

As much as it frustrates him, it frustrates you to no end why he’d want to continue like this, you nearly sobbed every time you had a flare up and Johnny so gently took care of you, not because you were in pain, but because you thought you didn’t deserve it.

Once he’s done, he’ll have you lay on top of him, holding your aching body, and keeps holding you even after you go to sleep.

—

I love him so much

I need to write something for him but I feel bad because he’s one of my favorite characters

[ilovetheseattlemariners]

It’s difficult being a Mariners fan

Hey baby. I haven’t written to you in so long. I haven’t had much to relate to you lately. I’m sorry. You’re still my darling. I nearly thought I lost you there for a second when this draft didn't save. I wanted to finish this a day prior, but I just didn't get to it, and now I don't remember what I wanted to tell you then. But now we can talk. Now I have new things to tell you.

Practice for the gig this Sunday happened which I am scared about because cancellation seems eminent. I'm sorry, I don't want to let you down. We didn't sell enough tickets. And then we weren't even able to see insaneintherain at the bar he was at so we ended up going to the beach and just sitting there for a few hours which I don't regret at all actually. Here are some pictures you can have from that.

I managed to talk to her a bit. Sometimes it was uncomfortable. Sometimes it was just looking at the ways we are different, the ways the past has clearly left us and how it's like we have to relearn how to know each other through the piecemeal instructions left behind. A lot of awkward quietness. A lot of "I want to mean a lot more to you again" or "This wasn't like this before" and "Is there still time to fix all of this" and "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry". It kept on feeling like there was something on the tip of your tongue that you just couldn't say and I wanted you to say it; more selfishly, I wanted you to say that you still loved me. I've been an asshole. I am an asshole. I wish that to you and to so many other people I knew once that I could be better. I told you that I didn't want you to leave for school and I begged you to stay and you said you would and it was all in jest but perhaps mean it for me. That only year we had when we were the closest we'd ever was years ago now and honestly that is painful. Somehow the time passed, does that surprise you too? For a second I considered asking you if you still played minecraft and if you wanted to start a multi server again before realizing how stupid that was and how you would realize through me asking that that I deeply longed for the past. Deeply deeply longed for the past. And I guess that must mean that I am afraid of having you know me. I'll miss you so much when you leave for school. I miss you so much right now. I miss you. Words don't mean shit do they when I'm in such a fragile position of need like this.

The gig I look forward to with dread. I don't know. I have a feeling that it's going to be pathetic. But I think I care too much. I think I feel that I have a lot more on the line than I actually do. It'll just be friends which is ok. I wish there was a lot more on the line. I wish it was more serious and I was getting actual gigs. We also barely practiced anything hahaha.

School will be starting up in like two weeks now. There goes the interim period of waiting for life to begin. Life is now going to begin and I am terrified. Terrified of the changes which are inevitable and which I will have no control over. Terrified of the ways in which my life will be transformed; or, more accurately, reformed in ways which will leave people and things out of it which I wanted so desperately to keep forever. First year is practically gone now. I say that and instantly begin feeling as though I am suffocating. Like no no no no no it isn't over I'll be back we still belong together reality isn't the process of us all gradually disintegrating into nothingness this has meaning this is meaningful you are meaningful we are meant to last forever.

I sometimes imagine what it will be like when, after having completed the transition from first year kretosek to second year kretosek, I run into someone from the first year. And I'll have to explain it all. Why I abandoned practically everything. Everyone. And that it's not out of blind anger or hatred, but because in actuality I miss everything so badly. I wish the Mariners would just start winning again already.

[ebtks-reviews]

High Tension(2005)

Sink Spoilers for High Tension(2005)!

Right after reviewing an awesome movie like the descent I get to review a shit movie with a homophobic premise! :D

High Tension is a French originating film released in 2003 then got a wider release with an English dub and English subtitles in 2005, thus, the 2005 release date.

This movie was bad and not just in a bad plot but beautifully shot but also in a shittily shot way. I don't like to criticize too many stylistic choices made by foreign films because I, someone born only 5 years before the release of this movie in America, won't understand the low budget earily 2000s French horror genre with amazing accuracy. I can only judge what was put Infront of me and it was... Bad. Like. Real bad.

I'll get my basic review out of the way then when can address this movie's homophobic and potential transphobic/ableist side.

Without all the gross bigotry this movie jerks off too, the movie itself is mid and didn't even get to the big set piece it was teasing the entire movie. It starts off with friends Marie and Alexia going to Marie's family's home they just purchased not 6 months ago. This fun friendly drive has a little bit the sapphic "undertones" this movie boasts but not explicitly. It's very clear to anyone with a gaydar that Alexia is supposed to be a butch lesbian and I originally thought she and marie were a couple, only later did I discover they were just friends during a late night kitchen conversation where Marie says she broke up with her boyfriend and asks Alexia when she'll try to get one. In the middle of this drive, the movie remembers it's a horror movie and dose a full neck twisting terminal whiplash 180° into n*crophilia having a random dirty crazy truck driver make a severed head give him head then throws it out the window. No warning. No reason.

I'm fully aware European films are notorious for being full of sex and sexual violence but this was unnessesary. It's clear this movie was inspired by things like Hostel and Saw. Grungy, dirty, exploitive and green. Saw is one of my favorite franchises, if not mostly for nostalgia reasons being some of my first horror movies, so you'd think this movie would be up lane. The movie wasn't shot badly and it wasn't boring necessarily but the big build up of expectations just wasn't there and the twist was both unexpected and nonsensical. The gross trucker guy breaks into the family home, kills the dad by shoving his head through the wood banister and taking it off with a dresser being shoved. I love inventive and intense kills that rock the audience and being one of the first kills of the movie (that we see), it wasn't too bad. The graphics could use some work as there was a very visible cut but this was definitely a low budget movie so I don't blame them for the split. However, instead of doing a nearly decapitation (which would of made sense), his head just explodes like it was under pressure. It really wasn't but ok. Then the mom is killed with a ton of stab wounds as our protag is hiding in their closet. Then he chains up the daughter/Marie and runs out into the field after her little brother. The guy finds him and shoots him and, through alot of confusing nonsense, eventually ends up with a chained and gagged Marie behind him in his big van and alexia hiding with him.

Then they get to a gas station, Alexia manages to hide in the store and when the guy walks in and asks the attendant for some booze, the guy kills the attendent and Alexia hides in some bathrooms. This movie, litterally stated by its own name, is supposed to be scarey and intense. However, I really just couldn't get into it enough to feel that tension and there were rarely any jumpscares that justified the tension with a punctual point. Even without knowledge of the stupid twist (I did a little research to know what kind of gore/violence/etc was in it for any potential triggering content but didn't get spoiled), I wasn't nervous or on edge. I wanted the protagonist and Marie to survive but I just was not super into it. The guy drives off with Marie, Alexia calls the cops then follows the van with the attendant's car. She ends up following the van down a dark path, somehow the van ends up behind her and starts ramming her, runs her off the road. Alexia gets out of the burning vehicle and runs to hide from the bad guy in some green houses. This was the first time the movie was actually tensionous for me. Alexia then fights with the guy, kills him with a pretty good and brutal death scene then gose and saves Marie.

Plot twist Marie pulls the knife on Alexia and calls her a psycho and runs away. Then the movie reveals the big "twist", Alexia is the big dirty bad guy and the movie keeps flipping between showing Alexia running after Marie and showing the big bad guy running after her. Marie hops in a car to hide with a guy, Alexia comes in and kills the guy and tries to kill Marie. It ends with marie escaping the car and when Alexia threatens her with the big saw on the cover, marie relents and tells alexia she loves her, they share a kiss, marie stabs alexia and it flashes forward to alexia in an asylum staring at Marie and scareing her then the movie ends. Basic synopsis. Now let's talk about why I call this movie base-level homophobic and nonsense. We'll start with the nonsense.

The way the movie is shot there is no way for Alexia to be the bad guy because it doesn't make any sense, unless some of those scenes are out of order or not real. How is she in the back of the truck busting out the door while also driving the truck. How is she in the car behind the van and in the van. How is she beating herself to death. The twist doesn't make sense unless you ignore big glaring time jumps and impossibilities. How did she get both the van to the woods and walk all the way back to the gas station, grab a whole ass mustang and drive that all the way back to the woods and intentionally crash it nearly ending her own life. The car's burning wreckage doesn't just dissapear. Of course the twist is unexpected, it doesn't even make any fucking sense! I'll bring up one failed plot point specifically though, that being that this whole movie, though not explicitly, seems to be suggesting that not only has Alexia been killing lots of women in the area (but it's never brought up in the movie) but also obviously taking them to a second location we, as the audience, never see. A whole 2/3rds of this movie is Alexia racing to free Marie from the bad guy whose taking her somewhere in a truck and we never know where or see where. All this build up for a location that doesn't exist and not in a cool emerald city way.

Finally, I'm gonna address the homophobia. As stated in many French reviews, this film implies lesbianism/Sapphism makes one insane. The inciting incident is litterally started by alexia seeing Marie in the shower naked by accident then rubbing one out to her then killing the whole family. This is not a Lowkey movie where the crazy killer just happens to be a lesbian, the whole twist is that she's a lesbian. It takes the very real violent and untrue stereotype that butch sapphics are all violent, abusive and predatory, especially towards femme sapphics and straight women. It makes a monster out of gender non-conforming women, often butches. It's homophobic and plays into the homophobic idea that butch lesbians are just like cishet men aka they won't take no for an answer from women. That masculinity is inherently predatory and straight women should fear butches the same way they fear men and that butches will rape, hurt and kill them to get them "like all gay sex freaks". They literally spell it out by switching between Alexia appearing as she does naturally, as a butch, and a big dirty hairy man. It is not a shocker that this movie was made by a cishet man.

The only other explanations that could be tied to why Alexia sometimes sees herself as a big dirty creepy man is due to 2 other reasons. One is DID , which some suggest since it would make her 3rd person views of the situation make sense but it could be easily waved away as her simply disassociating from her crimes or show her innocent subconscious fighting her evil consciousness. However, this is still a bigoted plot line as its ableist towards those with DID (who have no historical affection for violence or murder. Infact, those with DID are more likely to be murdered or taken advantage of. The idea that DID makes you violent is an old and deadly stereotype) and still homophobic. The second is that she's transgender and the big man is how she really wants to see herself. This is much less common as a theory and as a transgender person, this doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. There's no real suggestion that that's how she actually wants to be perceived and if it was the intention, it'd just be transohobic on top of the homophobia and ableism.

All in all, I did not enjoy this movie. It's mid and boring AT BEST without all the bigoted shit and fundamentally intolerable including it's stupid twist and lesbophobic undertones. It felt like, for once for real this time, the creator had an agenda and desire to harm lesbian/sapphicss and he succeeded in showing them in the most negative and some how even more bigoted light than he stsrted with.

0/10 sinks. Don't waste your money on this movie.

[blemiria]

Midsummer Flowers

Thank you to Shrimp for the nlpt brainworms, I hope I didn't butcher the characters too badly 🥺

Centaurea had a routine. She would wake up, wash her face, eat some toast, then bike to work. The numbness of abandoning her life plans wearing off, the panic of trying to find a job without even a diploma calming down over the years, she’s just numb. The quiet sound of the windchimes through the store’s windowpane, the rustling of leaves as she spends another quiet day tending the cash register.

Nobody comes around during the middle of the day; she was in a store in the middle of nowhere of a small town, during work hours. She often used it as an opportunity to hole up in a little corner she made for herself at the register and read the new books that came in.

Oh the new detective novel I heard everyone talking about is out she thought, pulling a copy out of the shelf to dig into for the day.

As she sat down on the cushion she got for her corner, the sound of the door opening brought her attention back to work, standing upright immediately.

“Hi, welcome! Please ask me if you have any questions.” Her customer service voice practiced and perfected by now, she greeted the customer. A blonde girl, around her age, walking in with a bag slung around her shoulder. Oh she’s cute.

“Hey, thanks, can you point me to the fantasy section?” Her voice deeper than Centaurea expected, nearly catching her off guard before she gathered herself in a split second.

“Mmh, yeah it’s to the right, it’s in the second row of bookshelves.”

“Alright! Thanks, don’t let me bother you cutie.”

Cutie? Who? looking around briefly, Centaurea realized who she was referring to.

“Me?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be back in a bit!” Her blonde hair disappearing behind the books, Centaurea could hear the quiet sounds of books being pulled in and out of shelves. The small creak of the used books showing their age as time slowed to a standstill for her.

*Was she flirting with me? Or is she just nice to others like that?* Centaurea puzzled. Her book untouched at the corner of her cashier.

“Hey.” Sliding a stack of knight novels onto the table, Centaurea started checking the prices one by one. Lifting the second book off the stack a small note fell down into her palm.

Hey you’re cute, I wanna see you again, when do you work here? And nod if it’s ok for me to drop by. Blinking twice as she reached for the next book, Centaurea found herself saying, “ I work mon-thu and sat from 8-4, and yeah it wouldn’t be a bother if you came by.”

She really was flirting huh. Centaurea thought.

“Yess, okay, I’ll be back around. Thank you. Goodbye.”

Coming in just as fast as she left, Centaurea saw the blonde hair billowing around the corner.

I wonder if this is the start of something exciting. She thought to herself. Feeling the numbness subside just enough to feel the sunlight dance on her cheek.

Bringing herself back to reality, she flipped open the book. It’s not like anyone really came around the store anyways. Killing her time immersed in the novel she idly waves hello as some of the regulars dropped by.

“Hey Centy, have you got the new knitting magazines?” One of her aunt’s friends asked.

“Yep, in the usual spot.” She said putting the book down as the now golden sunlight reflected the blonde heroine on the cover. Valiantly leading the other characters forward despite herself being kind of a dummy in many ways.

“Thanks! I’ll be just a second.” Her practiced motions ducking out of view, Centaurea eyed the clock. *10 to 7. I’ll be off soon.*

“Alright, this will be all for today.” The older lady said, handing the magazine over to Centaurea.

“Here you go, thanks, I’ll see you later! Have a nice day!” Waving off the customer, she locked the door behind her. I’ll get home at seven thirty today, the girl is coming back tomorrow. Maybe I should surprise her with a note?

Shuttering all the curtains, leaving the store she hops back onto her bike. Her path paved with moonlight as a gentle breeze combs her hair.

What should I write? Hey you’re cute- no too cringe. Hey thank you for coming around more of- no who am I?

Reaching a bridge waiting for a train to cross Centaurea pulled out her phone.

Flirting… tips… 101…

Faced with a wall of articles she quickly skims them for ideas.

Oh. None of these are useful. Oh well. Closing her phone she decides to just write whatever she wants. After all its better than whatever is on the internet apparently.

Maybe if I say something like, hey you’re also pretty cute. Wanna get coffee?

Finally getting home, she threw her bag into the closet. Quickly setting down at her desk while a meal bakes in the oven. The lamplight reflecting off of her fountain pen she obsessively writes and rewrites the note. Tossing it over small spelling mistakes as her nerves settle in.

“Oh, this is the last one.” She carefully put pen to paper. Slowly and methodically writing out each letter of the short two sentence note she finishes it successfully. Folding the paper in half she tucks it into her bag as she finally digs into dinner.

Another day comes by, the sun rises on Thursday as she gets up. It was the last day of work for her this week so she groggily pulled herself out of bed.

“Ugh one more day.” Just like her routine, every week on the last day of work everything is just a bit more miserable. Barely getting breakfast in before she bikes to the store, she checks to make sure her note was still where she left it.

*Okay good. Still there.*

Not picking up a book this time, she waits. The sun starts to shine in, rays of light illuminating sections of a bookshelf at a time as she waits. A slow morning, who would come by at 10 am on a Thursday?

Just as she was thinking this the door creaks open, the blonde girl from yesterday comes in and looks around for a quick second. Seeing Centaurea she immediately stops by the cashier, saying, “there you are! Sorry I forgot to introduce myself, I’m Margaret, how would you like to be referred to?”

Yours but, she stuffs that idea down out of sight, replying, “Centaurea is fine.”

“Thats a nice name! Do you work here?”

Huh…, “yeah I do. My aunt owns the place, why do you ask?”

“Oh just would be nice to know a consistent spot I could visit to see you. It helps that it’s a bookstore too I love fantasy.”

“Oh.” Centaurea fiddled with her hair, habitually distracting herself as she twirled a strand around her index finger feeling it pull against her finger as the hair is pulled taut, slicing through the ray of sun shining on her, “you know I exist outside of the store right? You don’t have to just come here to see me.” Nearl leaned against the counter, keeping herself upright with her arms as she leaned in saying, “Are you asking me to come see you outside of work too?”

Quietly blushing, Centaurea hands her note over, hiding her face with her palm. She didn’t intend on handing it over so soon, expecting there to be less action and that she could just slip it inside of Nearl’s bag when she leaves. 

Having some tact, Nearl turns around, her ponytail bouncing away as she pulled back into the fantasy section. A small yippee could be heard from the front of the store as Centaurea buried her face deeper into her palms. Oh god what is she going to do. Centaurea thought as she saw Margaret emerge with a small novel, her note pressed against the book.

“Okay, here just this for now. When’s your shift done today?”

“5, why?” Centaurea feigned ignorance, preferring to assume that the note never happened at all as Nearl put the novel in Centaurea’s hands.

“Alright! There’s a cafe nearby, I’ll be waiting for you outside of the store when your shift is over.” She said, leaving the note behind as she left the door giving Centaurea a quick wink.

“Wait you forgot the note-” Centaurea started only for Margaret to be already well on her way out of earshot by the time she mentioned it. 

Turning it over she saw a small scribble, I’ll bring you flowers! Hope you have a vase at home.

“Are you kidding me.” 

She wasn’t kidding. Centaurea finished her shift and clocked out, letting her aunt this time take over minding the store as she was greeted by Margaret right outside, in plain view of her aunt still with the flowers.

“Hey! Was work okay?” Margaret asked, handing the flowers over, letting Centaurea carry them.

“Yeah it was fine,” Centaurea let Margaret’s hand hold hers as she tucked the bouquet of white and red under her arm. The scent of lily wafting over her as she followed Margaret to the cafe.

“Do you know where you’re gonna put these?” Margaret asked.

“Hmm I don’t know, you seem to know your flowers, why don’t you show me some nice places to put them later?” Centaurea said, tugging on Margaret’s hands slightly.

The two entered the cafe, grabbing a small coffee as they found a seat just outside in the shade of a tree.

“So, tell me a bit about yourself.” Centaurea asked, letting the flowers rest in her lap. Their drinks barely touched as Margaret settled into her seat.

“Oh! Right I never introduced myself huh, I’m a second year anthropology major at the local university. I was killing time on an off day and just so happened to drop by your store. Now tell me about yourself.” Margaret took a sip, her eyes never leaving the smaller girl.

“Oh, uh, I’m just an employee at the shop, I dropped out of high school and am helping my aunt. I get by fine enough.”

“Aww, did something happen?” Margaret asked, her eyes not hiding any of her pity.

Centaurea hated it. She let out a sigh, her walls creeping back in as she replied, “No it’s just. Things. Sorry.” She started to get up, tucking the flower under her shoulder.

“Wait. Sorry I was insensitive, do you still want me to show you some good spots to put the flowers?” Margaret asked, the pity gone as she grabbed one of Centaurea’s hands.

I hate that it worked on me. Centaurea looked away, finding eye contact too stimulating, “Yeah.”

The two walked in silence, hand in hand, the entire way back to Centaurea’s small apartment. The occasional glance from Margaret, the gentle pursing of her lips, the gentle squeezes. None of it went unnoticed from Centaurea but she tried to ignore it. It was too hard to reciprocate after the mood she found creeping into her psyche.

The quiet hum of the powerlines, birds flying over them casting soft shadows against the spot where their hands were touching. *I should say something.* Centaurea thought, the pressure starting to make her crumple as the ding of the elevator breaks up the sound just slightly. Their hands still together, they entered the elevator. The quiet sounds of salarymen coming home being heard just beyond the metal door of the elevator, the quiet mechanical hum of the gears turning were just enough for Centaurea to latch onto before she got home.

“Your place is nice.” Margaret said, looking around in the hall as she let Centaurea open the door for her.

The mechanical sensation of the lock numb in Centaurea’s hand she looks at the other girl, “It’s okay. I don’t hate it at least.”

“Oh yeah?” Margaret steps forward, gently coaxing the bouquet out of Centaruea’s hand, looking around asking, “Do you have a vase anywhere?”

“Mh in the drawer let me get it one second,” she disappeared behind a door. Lingering a bit as she tried to collect herself, *she means well. I shouldn’t expect her to be able to immediately understand.* She thought to herself letting the vase sink into her palm. She walks out moments later. Perhaps a bit too long. She thinks seeing the look on Margaret’s face; she looks a bit concerned. Worried.

“I’m fine.” She says, not sure if even she was convinced of that as she rinsed out the inside of the vase, wiping down the outer shell.

“You sure?” Centaurea hears the footsteps behind her, the feeling of Margaret’s hand on her shoulder gently holding her, “I know that I was flirting with you before but I don’t want to be a nuisance, I’d rather become someone you can lean on than just a flirt.” She said, gently picking the clean vase out of her hand and setting it down on a windowsill. Placing the flowers in it removing the ribbon, carefully adjusting the foliage and textural flowers so it sits perfectly in the sun.

“Sure. Whatever.” Centaurea said, looking away. The sound of cicadas filling the expanse between them.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You don’t have to.”

With a sigh, Margaret laid down on the couch, letting her arm hang as she looked over, “I’ll stay until you feel better then.” A brief pause. “I’m sorry, you must have your circumstances, I won’t pry. Not until you’re ready.”

“Thanks.” Centaurea found herself walking over, gently climbing on top of Margaret, laying against her. The summer heat sticking the two together as she sunk against the heat.

With an amused tone, Margaret chuckled, “someone’s getting comfortable”

Again refusing to meet her gaze, Centaurea murmured, “shut up I know you would like this.”

“Thank you.” Margaret sits up slightly. Angling both of them slightly as Centaurea’s head now facing directly with the blondes, her silky platinum hair draping the sides of their head like a curtain.

Gently, with a hand, Margaret pushes the hair out of Centaurea’s view. Her palm resting against Centaurea’s cheek, their gazes meet.

Closer than ever before, their breath mixing, her hand’s warm. Centaurea thinks while she lets Margaret pull her in.

Their lips grazing each other at first, before Centaurea lets gravity do the hard part, she lowers her elbows to fall even deeper against Margaret. She feels a hand on her back, not touching her butt, but just high enough that she still feels it in the base of her spine when Margaret pulls her torso flush with hers.

Gently she lets the kiss deepen. Gently she pulls back, her eyes opening slowly greeted by the amber irises of Margaret.

Smiling, she says, “hey, you taste good.”

A dry smile forms on Centaurea’s lips, her voice trapped, she whispers, “but did you have to keep your eyes open the entire time?”

“No.”

“Margaret.”

“Okay fine. I wanted to see you up close even more, I wanted to soak it in.”

“Idiot.” Centaurea lay there, already forgotten what put her in the bad mood to begin with as she felt her heartbeat line up with Margaret’s. Quietly, finding her voice slowly, she asked, “am I still going to see you more in the bookstore?”

“Of course.”

“It’s pretty boring in that area.”

“Really? You’re around though, it’s enough for me.”

She’s so embarrassing. Centaurea thought, glad that her face was now resting against her collarbone so as to hide her blush.

“You know,” Margaret began, “maybe I’ll get into some literary magazines. I’ll have a reason to come by regularly then.” 

Margaret sat up, gently scooping Centaurea so that she was now seated on her lap, her head sitting just above Margaret’s. Looking up for the first time she continued, “There’s also so many books to read, and a nice cafe nearby. I think I wouldn’t mind being around somewhere so ‘boring’.”

Leaning upwards, pushing her face gently towards Centaurea she tries to kiss her only for Centaurea to pause her with a finger to her lip.

“Alright you win,” Centaurea rests her hand against the inside of Margaret’s elbow, “you can come by more, but I still have some things to do tonight, and don’t you have school work to handle?”

“You’re right. I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Margaret gave Centaurea’s back a quick squeeze before getting up from the couch.

“Yeah, sure, fine.” Centaurea said, her words contrasting the blush and shyness in her body language.

“Okay! See you tomorrow.” Unfazed, Margaret gave her a quick wave before leaving the apartment.

The next day began as usual. Centaurea’s routine went unchanged, she got out of bed, washed her face, ate some toast, and biked to work. The sun shone through the leaves, the shadows dancing on her face as the flowers bloomed a bit brighter than usual. 

The gentle swaying of the windchime adding a shimmer to her life, she sat behind the register reading once again. Passing the time on another summer day, by herself, waiting for someone to come by.

“Hey.” Margaret opened the door, a small clink in her bag as she walked. She took out a glass soda bottle, a small note taped over its logo, she tapped the cold bottle against Centaurea’s cheek.

“Hey, thanks.” Centaurea took the bottle, gently peeling off the note she took a drink reading it: take a break? Margaret’s neat handwriting with the little heart at the end making Centaurea laugh as she got up from her seat, setting the bottle down as she took Margaret’s outstretched hand and disappeared with her into the fantasy aisle.

“Do you want to taste my drink?” Margaret asked as they stood, flipping through old books.

“Sure.” 

Margaret took a big gulp, gently pushing Centaurea against a shelf and quickly bringing their lips together before she could fully realize what was happening. Margaret’s eyes were closed this time, as Centaurea felt her lips open letting the drink in. Briefly melting against the other girl’s lips, Margaret pulled back gasping.

“God it’s so warm what the fuck Margaret.”

Laughing, Margaret just hands Centaurea the bottle, letting her properly take a quick sip of the cold drink.

“See? it tastes pretty good doesn’t it.”

Letting her head fall against Margaret’s shoulder while she moves on checking out a novel, she sighs, “Yeah. It does.”

[plantsjustwannahavefun]

Ok first of all, sharing opinions on the UK politics - something that he's not personally involved in - is completely different from badmouthing the makers of the show that gave you your second most major role in a decade. You don't bite the hand that feeds you. Consider the fact that neither David Jenkins nor any of the cast publicly slandered Max, even though they were clearly gutted about their decision to cancel the show. Sure, if you're big enough in the industry, after enough time has passed, you could afford to come out and air some dirty laundry, but for all his skill and talent and an impressive filmography Con is still not nearly famous enough to get away with rocking the boat like that. Izzy was clearly a flagship role for him and nobody could blame him for not wanting to poison that experience. Not least because it wouldn't reflect badly only on him but tarnish everyone involved, and regardless of how he personally feels about Izzy's arc, he still loves the show and would never do this to the people who made it.

Secondly... It's complicated. "The Canyon" isn't a monolith. At this point there's probably nothing more left to say on why a lot of us believe killing Izzy was a poor writing decision on multiple levels, so I won't go on about that, all I'll say is, a lot of us if not most of us have made our peace with it by now, one way or another, and we still appreciate Izzy's arc and are grateful for what we had. Con's comments on Izzy's death isn't news, pretty sure every Izzy fan has seen them, and I haven't seen anyone who holds it against him.

I'm not saying he was lying. I'm saying it's possible to have conflicting emotions and reconcile them. If I was in Con's place I would have said the same thing. I would have focused on what I loved about his arc and the ending (the final speech was very emotional, at least, and I'm glad Izzy apologised and got that weight off his chest before he died, and that Ed and the crew grieved for him). It was... one (1) of the potential ways his story could have ended. You could even say it was "the only way" - only if you were operating under the framework of very conventional and tired tropes which OFMD typically rises above, but still. It's fair to say it wasn't illogical per se. Con didn't say anything wrong. The way he sees it is valid. But so are the fans' opinions. If you really thought that throwing "oh btw Con was 100% behind killing Izzy off" (which isn't what he said anyway) was some sort of "gotcha" that was going to make "The Canyon" either turn on Con or implode in on itself, you got it wrong.

Once again Con O'Neil went on a stage and said how much he loves the writers and director of OFMD, how much he loves filming his death scene and how he understood that Izzy needed to die and once again the Canyon are tying themselves up in knots about it and completely disregarding his words. No, he is not being forced to say these things for fear of blacklisting. Babes, this is the guy who posts FUCK THR TORIES on a daily basis in comic sans on Instagram. Do you really think he would give a shit about blacklisting? Be for fucking real. At some point you just have to accept that the guy who played your blorbo DOESN'T THINK LIKE YOU. And thank fuck for that actually.