#ok sure... turns and coughs blood into a napkin

[damazcuz]

they are seriously going to make me do fucking strike missions to get the /shiver emote aren't they.

[thebonerpit]

suck it and see [FIC]

suck it and see

Rom Howney, 2749 words, [E], read on Ao3 here

Robert invites Tom over for dinner. Has his gag reflex improved? (Not me writing a sequel to this fic almost a year later...)

Five months later, and Tom is wondering what the fuck he’s gotten himself into.

After “The Call”, as he’s been referring to it, Robert has been nothing but sweet and courteous and respectful. Once the post-orgasm adrenaline faded, Tom hasn’t been able to drum up the courage to talk about what happened between them and Robert never brings it up explicitly either. It’s been months of brief text threads during quiet moments, the odd video of Robert’s cats or a photo of the sunset, and Tom getting embarrassingly hard whenever Robert says something remotely flirty. Nothing at all that suggests it might ever happen again. That is, until Tom mentions he’s going to be in L.A. for a week.

“Come see me. I’ll make you dinner.”

“YOU’LL make me dinner? Or your private chef will make me dinner?”

“Don’t get cheeky with me you little shit. Tuesday work for you?”

It doesn’t, but Tom rearranges his entire schedule to get there.

The black jeans he’s chosen are practically painted on, but in an effort to appear completely casual and unbothered he throws on a soft pastel pink hoodie and a baseball cap. No need to mention how long he takes in the shower beforehand. No need at all.

The Uber drops him off and he notes that there are no other cars to be seen, and very few lights on in the house. He didn’t even consider that they might actually be alone and now that it’s hitting him he kind of feels like throwing up. Before he can scope out the best bush to heave into, the door opens.

“I know my front yard is pretty amazing but are you going to stand out here all night?”

Oddly enough, seeing him in person, leaning against the door frame with a dish towel in one hand, Robert Downey Jr. in the flesh, actually calms him down. His brain reroutes from panic to excitement and he rushes forward to give him a tight hug, which Robert gladly returns.

“Good to see you,” he says quietly, almost directly into Tom’s ear. The closeness makes him shiver slightly but he manages to cover it with another tight squeeze before rocking back on his heels.

“Same, boss,” he says with a broad smile. Robert cocks his head and smiles back fondly before patting his cheek and stepping back into the foyer.

“Come on, it’s almost ready.”

“Are you really cooking for me?”

“Of course,” he says, like he’s offended Tom is even asking.

It smells incredible, whatever it is, and Tom removes his hat, happily perches on a bar stool, and accepts the beer Robert hands him. They chat amiably while Robert cooks, and soon Tom forgets why he was ever nervous in the first place. It’s just like how it was on set, or backstage at some industry event, joking and laughing and catching each other up on their respective lives. One of the cats jumps up and kneads at Tom’s lap for a while before padding away to search for its own dinner.

Domestic, Tom thinks briefly, before shooing that horrible thought away.

Dinner is pasta with homemade sauce and Tom devours it.

Robert raises an eyebrow as he slurps up his last noodle and Tom sheepishly hides behind his napkin as he tries to wipe off the spattering of red sauce on his cheek.

“S’really good,” he mutters, and Robert just laughs.

He helps him clean up, despite Robert’s protests. He sets the last pot on the rack to dry and turns to see Robert staring at him, a contemplative expression on his gorgeous face.

“What? More pasta sauce?” Tom asks, swiping at the corner of his lips with one thumb.

“Nah. Just looking.”

“Oh. Ok?”

Robert smirks and saunters over and Tom feels his back hit the fridge. Trapped. Nowhere to go.

“This is cute,” Robert says, tugging at the string of Tom’s hoodie. “Suits you.”

“Uh. Thanks,” Tom replies dumbly, unable to look away from Robert’s mouth. He barely catches the way Robert’s eyes flick up to his own before he looks away and exhales softly. It’s a sound of resignation, and Tom’s heart speeds up to a panicked flutter. As soon as Robert starts to back away, he snakes his arm out and grasps on to his wrist. It shocks them both and they can’t do anything but stare at each other for a moment before Tom finally caves and lets himself think with his dick.

He opens his mouth, extends his tongue slightly, and waits.

Robert’s eyes are dark, the gorgeous honey-brown devoured by his pupils, and Tom sees him swallow. He does his best to encourage him, to beg without saying a word, but when Robert still hesitates, he slowly drags his hand up to hover between them. Then he lets go of Robert’s wrist. It’s on him now, and he looks very much aware of this fact.

“You sure?” he finally rasps out. Always the gentleman, even when Tom doesn’t want him to be. He nods and sticks out his tongue even more, his eyes almost crossing at he stares at Robert’s thick fingers just inches away from his mouth.

“Have you been thinking about this?” he asks. Tom nods again and shivers as those fingers run the length of his jaw. “Yeah. Me too.”

Without warning he pushes two fingers into Tom’s mouth, dragging them across his tongue and settling them just past the second knuckle. Tom whines and starts to close his lips around them but Robert’s other hand darts up quickly to grab his chin.

“Ah-ah,” he tuts. “Did I say you could do that?”

The blood that rushes immediately downwards nearly makes Tom pass out.

Robert pets his tongue until Tom’s mouth overflows with saliva and it starts dripping down his chin and on to his hoodie.

“Such a messy boy,” Robert says. Tom gurgles out a moan which makes Robert tighten his grip on his jaw. “On your knees.”

Tom drops so fast he feels his knees crack against the marble tile. It hurts but he doesn’t even care. All he can feel is his dick hard against the zipper of his jeans and Robert’s fingers dragging through his hair.

“So pretty,” he murmurs as he lets his fingers slip out of Tom’s mouth.

Tom tries to lean in, close the distance between his mouth and the growing bulge in Robert’s jeans, but he feels those fingers tighten in his hair. He glances up and sees Robert staring down at him with an expression not dissimilar to the one he had months ago on their video call.

“If you want to stop, all you have to do is say the word.” Robert’s voice is quiet but steady. “Or pinch me really hard if your mouth is… otherwise occupied.”

Tom shudders at the implications of that.

“I need to hear you say you understand.”

“I do! I… I understand. Want this, want you, everything… anything you want,” Tom says, tripping over his words in his haste to reassure him because he thinks if Robert stops now he might actually cry.

Robert exhales sharply through his nose. “Jesus… fucking… alright. Ok. Get up, follow me.”

Tom scrambles up off the floor and follows Robert as he leads him through into what looks like a den. It’s dimly lit, thick curtains pulled closed on the windows, and the walls are lined with bookshelves. Robert pulls him down on to a plush couch and takes his jaw in his hand again, licking his lips before diving in for a searing kiss, and Tom allows himself to be devoured. He suddenly realizes that this is actually their first kiss, but before he can dwell on it too long Robert pulls back and, as gently as possible, pushes him down to the floor between his knees.

“I hope you’ve been practicing more,” Robert says as he undoes his jeans. “Show me what you can do.”

As soon as the fabric of Robert’s boxers is out of the way, Tom doesn’t hesitate. He’s been waiting for this for months and the sight of that gorgeous cock in front of him makes his mouth water. He takes the head in his mouth without preamble and the low groan that Robert lets out spurs him on to take even more. It’s a bit messy, saliva already dripping out the sides of his mouth, but if the noises Robert is making are any indication, he’s doing a pretty damn good job regardless. He feels those thick fingers curl back into his hair and only has a moment to steel himself before Robert’s hips snap up and he chokes, eyes watering immediately as the thick cock tries to force its way down his throat. He tries to relax but it doesn’t work and he has to pull away, coughing and wiping at his chin.

“S-sorry, let me… I can—”

“Shh, no, you were doing well. I shouldn’t have… couldn’t help myself.”

Fuck, he sounds wrecked already. Pride bubbles up in Tom’s stomach and he dares to look up and offer a small smile, batting his eyelashes just a little.

“Want to keep going,” he says, “please?”

Robert bites his lip and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before shifting on the couch.

“Come up here, let me… here, just like this.” He pulls Tom up like he weighs nothing, arranges him on the couch so he’s laying on his back with his head hanging off the edge.

“It’s easier like this, sweet thing,” Robert says as he stands over him. “Opens your throat up. Do you trust me?”

“God, yes,” Tom breathes out. He knows he should behave and wait for instructions but he can’t help surging up to lick at the base of Robert’s cock, hanging heavy over his face. It makes him shudder and Tom feels a drop of precome fall on his cheek.

He sees Robert shudder and gets a gentle slap across his face as a reward.

“Brat,” he rasps out before shoving his cock down Tom’s throat.

The angle is so strange and Tom’s eyes widen with panic before he realizes that yeah, it actually is easier like this? Once you get used to the whole upside-down part. He trusts Robert to hold his head as he relaxes his muscles, letting his throat go slack and just accepting every thick inch he gets.

There’s a bitten-out curse as Tom feels his nose press against Robert’s balls.

“Give me—fuck, your hand,” Robert says. He obeys, immediately, and Robert brings it up to wrap around Tom’s own throat. “Can you feel it?”

Tom nearly shoots off right then and there as Robert moves and oh my fucking god yes he can feel it. The thick line of Robert’s cock is stretching his throat out and he gurgles out a moan around it which makes it twitch against his hand.

“Such a pretty little cocksucker,” he grunts. Tom bucks his hips into the air, desperate for friction, Robert’s dirty words turning him on more than he could have ever imagined.

“Look at you… you want to touch yourself, hm?”

Tom can’t answer so he just whines and wiggles his hips again which causes Robert to grunt and jerk forward which in turn causes Tom to choke and gag again. Robert immediately pulls out and pets the side of Tom’s head while he inhales shakily, catching his breath.

“Ok?” he asks, rubbing a thumb along Tom’s swollen bottom lip.

“Yeah… ok.” Tom is shocked by the sound of his own voice, raw and scratchy and thick. Thank fucking god he doesn’t have to work for the next little while. “More?”

Robert chuckles and leans down to kiss along the side of his neck. “Want to see you come with my dick down your throat. Can you do that for me?”

“Fuck… fuck, yeah, yeah I can do that.” He scrabbles at the buttons and zippers on his jeans and shoves them down to mid-thigh along with his boxers. His hoodie is already a mess, covered in his own spit, but he pulls it up his chest anyway. If this also happens to show off his cut abs and pink nipples, well, it’s just a bonus. He hears Robert groan softly and then suddenly his field of vision is eclipsed by a furred stomach as Robert leans over him to kiss at his chest, his hipbones, and fuck, Robert’s mouth is on his dick.

“Ohmygod,” he slurs, digging his nails into the fabric of the couch as an incredibly skilled tongue laves up and down his erection. He can feel the bristle of Robert’s beard on his thighs and it sends electric shivers through his body.

“Tastes so good,” Robert murmurs, licking up one side and then sucking on the head briefly before letting Tom’s cock fall back against his stomach with a loud slap. Tom whimpers – actually whimpers – as Robert pushes himself back upright and he can see the cocky smirk on his face even from this strange angle.

“There, made it nice and wet for you. Go on sweetheart, show me how pretty you look when you come, hm?”

Tom doesn’t have time to answer as Robert slides his cock back into his throat. The sensation of that alone makes his eyes roll back in his head but now that he has permission to touch himself, he doesn’t hesitate. The slickness from Robert’s saliva eases the way for his own hand as he jerks himself off quickly, no patience for finesse or teasing, just pure need racing through his veins. He gets close embarrassingly fast, partly thanks to the steady stream of filth that Robert is muttering above him.

“That’s it, just like that baby, so fucking pretty aren’t you? You like having a nice fat dick down your throat, hm? Yeah, I know you do, look at you, just made for it, fuck, yeah, keep touching yourself, keep jerking that pretty cock sweetheart, make a mess of yourself for me, come on, come on, let me see you…”

It’s relentless and Tom can’t get enough. He doesn’t want it to end, quite frankly, but he’s teetering right on the edge and when Robert simultaneously shoves himself as deep as he can go and squeezes a hand around his throat he jerks violently and comes all over himself. It’s the most powerful orgasm he’s ever had and his body feels like it will never stop convulsing. It’s only when he finally relaxes enough to try to catch his breath that he realizes that he can’t actually breathe at all. Robert is still buried deep in his throat, grinding his hips against his face like Tom is just a warm, wet hole to be used. It sends a brief flutter of panic through him, but it also makes his spent cock twitch against his stomach. Robert is grunting and Tom feels drops of sweat landing on his chest, mixing with the cooling puddles of come. He must be close. He has to be. He needs to be or Tom is going to actually pass out.

He’s just about to raise his hand to pinch Robert’s thigh when he feels a rush of warmth slide down his throat. It’s so deep he can’t even taste it until Robert pulls out and lets the rest drip all over his mouth and face. As Tom gasps for breath Robert maneuvers him into a sitting position and rubs at his back, soothing him as he coughs and sniffles and wipes at the absolute mess on his face with his ruined hoodie. When he finally settles a bit he can hear Robert murmuring to him.

“Such a good boy… such a good boy, sweetheart, you did so well, that’s it, deep breaths…”

Tom sniffles again and blinks up at Robert’s face. He smiles softly.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Feeling ok?”

Tom nods. His throat is killing him but he doesn’t want to make Robert feel bad about it. Plus, he asked for it and he doesn’t know if it makes him a little fucked up in the head for liking it.

“I… I want…”

“Shh, don’t try to talk now. Let me get you some water. You…” Robert pauses. He leans in and kisses Tom’s forehead almost chastely. “You were incredible. Just sit. Let me take care of you.”

Tom smiles again and nestles into the crook of Robert’s neck, sated and content.

[flamencodiva]

Wait For Me

Description: Dean and the reader were always an off and on kind of thing. What Happens when Dean realizes he’s too late? 

Pairing: Dean x Reader 

Warnings: Smut, Language, supernatural Violence, Character Death 

Word Count: 1506

Beta: none all mistakes are my own

He watched her as her hips swayed to the music. The beat of the music was bouncing off the walls of the nightclub. Although it wasn’t his scene, they had a hunt to complete. It seemed local monsters felt it was perfect to prey on horny, drunk club goers. But here he was with his best friend of over fifteen years. Her hips swayed to the Latin beat, well then again she was latin. Her father had been very good hunting buddies with his. But something changed, he felt a primal need to grind up next to her to keep the men staring at her away. She turned as was surprised to see him as the one grinding on her. 

He shivered when he felt her hot breath in his ear, “You don’t dance to this Dean, what are you doing?” 

“Making sure that you know I got your back” he shrugged and took a big sip of his beer. 

“Dean…” she began, she knew this game. 

They had been playing it since they were sixteen. Dean was her first, and she was sure she was his. After the initial shock, they developed friends with benefits that is until Cassie came into the picture. After that, Y/N had kept her distance, even going so far as to leaving Dean alone with Cassie for the duration of his relationship. It was on and off with them, more of a scratch an itch after a hunt kind of relationship. 

“Y/N, Let's just enjoy and gank a monster huh?” He continued to drink his beer as Y/N danced with him. 

He felt her perfect ass grinding on him every time she turned. It took all of his willpower not to start kissing her neck and take her on the dance floor. They were here on a mission, and he needed to focus. After the third song of the same sensual beat, Y/N tapped his shoulder and pointed towards the back of the club. The Vampire had seduced a girl looking no older than twenty. 

“let’s go,” she took his hand in hers and led him towards the back. 

They had gotten there in time to behead the bastard and rescue the shaken girl. The alleyway was now empty, the vampires body and head tossed into a dumpster. Y/N, sighed in frustration, she was turned on, and the last thing she needed was to fall back into the arms of Dean Winchester. The last time she fell into bed with him, was after the leviathans were out in the open. Bobby had recently died, and he had contacted her to meet. She hadn’t seen him since he left to be with the Yoga instructor and her son. She had sworn to never be with him, but his eyes and the fact that tequila was her weakness, made things fall into place. 

She had snuck out after that ignoring his calls until she saved him from a feral werewolf years later. But that time, she steered him to the local bar skanks and made her exit, telling Sam not to let him contact her again. But here she was, with him again and she couldn’t help take his scent in. Dean growled slightly as he pushed her up against the wall of the club in the alley. His lips crashed into hers, and his tongue explored her mouth. Y/N gasped and moaned at the invasion of his tongue in her mouth. 

She pushed her tongue against his battling for domination, her fingers in his hair tugging on it, inciting a sexual grunt from him. The one thing she remembered, he loved having his hair pulled. Her panties were wet with excitement as she hiked up her skirt and pushed her panties aside. There was no time for foreplay; it was going to be quick and dirty. He was already free of his pants as he pushed her up on the wall and entered her. Dean was slamming into her, her walls screaming to fill every inch of him. 

“Y/N,” he moaned in her ear, “God I missed your tight pussy.”

“Save the dirty talk Winchester and just fuck me, I have an early hunt tomorrow,” she commanded and pulled him against her. 

Dean pushed fast and hard, slamming into her until he could feel her walls clench around him close to her release. He twitched inside of her, his body coming close to ecstasy. 

“I’m gonna…” She moaned. 

“Cum princess, cum all over my cock.” He told her as her sweet release came, and he filled her with his hot seed. 

Dean let her down gently as she adjusted herself. She avoided his gaze, and he had been fighting his feelings for her since he was eighteen. He watched as she grabbed a napkin from her purse and cleaned herself off. 

“Y/N,” he muttered. 

“Thanks for the help and the stress relief,” she cut him off. “I guess I’ll see you around,” she walked off leaving him alone in the alley. 

She gasped as the angel blade penetrated her left side. The demon gave a triumphant smile as he pushed the blade in deep. 

“Dean Winchester’s whore,” it sneered, the black eyes peering into hers.

“You’re all talk for a demon,” she plunged her demon blade into the demon's neck. 

One of two blades in the world that had been passed down from generation to generation in her family and she was glad Dean had the other. She panted as she removed the angel blade and slumped down against the wall in the building. Her last night on earth and this was how it would end. She hadn’t told anyone where she was, and she figured she would always die this way. She felt the blood pool on her hand gushing out of her wound. She felt the tears pool in her eyes. They say that a person's life flashes before their eyes when they are dying, and she saw it. Green eyes in her life, happy, sad, angry. They haunted her throughout her adventures, and there they were at the end. 

She let out a strangled cry and cursed. Her breathing began to slow as her heat began to weaken from the loss of blood. She never noticed the familiar rumble outside and the pounding of heavy footsteps echoing throughout the warehouse. Her vision blurred and she heard the voice it sounded far away. 

“Y/N! No, No!” the gentle but callous hands were warm against her cheek, she knew who it was, “Come on sweetheart stay awake.” 

“Dean,” she coughed, and the taste of iron filled her mouth. She could feel the some of her blood trickle down the side. 

“Shhh, don’t speak princess, we’ve got you,” his voice croaked, “You can’t leave me, there is too much we haven’t said, too much that I should have said” his voice cracked. 

She chuckled and coughed, “I love you,” she said it as the tears began to flow, “God… I've loved you since you, and I took each other's virginity, Dean.” She let out a painful moan and strangled cry. 

Dean screamed for his brother to hurry with Castiel, but the angel shook his head sadly. 

“I’m sorry Dean… We’re too late, Billie isn’t letting me heal her” he said somberly. 

“No,” he said in a strangled voice as he sobbed softly. “Y/N, sweetheart fight it, please.” 

She shook her head and lifted her hand to his cheek, “It’s ok, It was good to see you again, and we went out with a bang” she chuckled at her joke and coughed up blood. 

Dean shook his head not able to say anything as her life slipped away. He held her in his arms and cried. His best friend, his first real love that he was scared to admit was now gone. He had hoped that once this was over, he could find her and marry her, but it wasn’t meant to be. All the time he wasted with Cassie and Lisa, he regretted not being with her. Her body went limp in his arms, and it took Sam and Cas all of their strength to pry him from her body. 

Sam carried her to the Impala, letting Dean be with her until they were safe and away from the warehouse. Dean spent his time preparing her body and wrapping it carefully for her funeral. He helped Sam and Cas create the pyre for her body. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he sniffed, “I was a coward, I was afraid of what was in front of me, afraid of this spark you gave me,” he whimpered as the tears fell. “Wait for me ok? I will take you on the best date I can think of in Heaven, you just have to wait for me.” 

He lit the pyre, the blaze crackling and sizzling over Y/N’s carefully wrapped body. Sam and Cas watched as Dean stood in silence saying his final goodbye.

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[onebadwinter]

@buchananbarnes1991​ replied here

Helmut had been home with Carl, as was often usual when his wife was a valued worker. Lifting a baby spoon full of some kind of baby slop on it he let Carl suck on the spoon for a moment, smiling as the baby had eaten up all the slop "Mmm. Good. You are eating so well today." Helmut cheered lightly, encouraging his son. Once the spoon was mostly emptied and the mess around his infant's mouth wiped up he moved to give another scoop of food. Carl had been reaching out for more, already having eaten a great deal "Only a few more bites. You'll become sick if you overeat." He commented, knowing the baby wouldn't understand entirely what he meant, or really at all. But had decided none the less to make it a habit to speak to Carl like this, anyway, even as an infant. As baby babble was much more of a hindrance for forming minds. Reaching out the next tiny spoonful he let Carl suck on the spoon a moment, scooped some of the food that got on Carl's face back onto the spoon and let the baby continue.

Watching his son, absolutely smitten by the sloppy eating and baby babbling and such other baby things, Helmut grinned happily at his boy "Very good Carl. But that's it for now." Helmut said bringing the spoon down to rest on a napkin on the table next to the baby food. He rose, bringing a cleaning wipe over to wash up Carl's face before lifting the infant out from his baby seat "Now then. Burping, and perhaps a day out on the town, hm? You need some sun." He joked tapping the index finger on his right hand softly against Carl's nose, getting a cute little giggle and chubby little baby fingers wrapping around his own finger. Walking away he let Carl suck at the tip of his finger a moment before shifting Carl into his right arm to toss away the baby wipe into the trash "Mama won't be home till late." Though Heike had always called, and would make sure to speak to their son over the phone, before Carl was laid down for the night. As he was cleaning up the mess of lunch, Carl laid against his chest, chewing on his fingers and drooling as he looked about the room curiously.

Ignoring the slobber and sealing the jar he moved the spoon to the dishwasher then the baby food jar to the fridge "So where should we go? The park? Oh. I do enjoy the park." Carl stared at him, ocean blue eyes scanning Helmut’s face before an absolutely adorable smile spread over Carl's face, a slobbery hand reaching out to grab at Helmut's cheek followed by some more baby babbling "You think so to? I knew you were my son." Helmut murmured playfully. Then glanced around, wondering where on earth James had gone off to "Just have to find Uncle first. He seems to have gotten lost." Moving Carl into the play room, he set Carl down in the baby cage for the time being "I'll go look for him...and change my shirt. You stay." He rubbed a hand to the top of Carl's head before placing a kiss against the patch of soft blond hair, inhaling the smell the lingered from the baby shampoo before pulling away. Though as he turned he stopped momentarily, seeing James standing at the doorway "Oh- Uh...Whe-"

Though he didn't have much time to say anything before the other quickly charged at him, a knife soon digging into his chest. The others super human speed and strength had, in the process, sent him stumbling back into the wall on one side of the baby cage. Reaching his right hand up to grab at the bionic arm that was pinning him he frowned "Wha-what are you doing, Ja- 98!?" It was at this moment, that he had felt the blade dig deep into his chest, blood drizzled onto the floor, staining the wood beneath them. Gasping for breath, Helmut felt his core run cold. When James yanked the knife out from him, he stared at it for a moment, watching his blood drip from the blade before looking toward James, looking absolutely betrayed. His left hand moved to cover the wound, shaking, and poorly managing to keep any blood from flowing down his chest. Dropping to the floor he coughed, blood splattering out from his mouth. Staring down toward his wound, his vision wavered, becoming confused. Lifting his left hand away from the wound, it trembled "Why..."

Dropping over onto the floor, he gasped out, breaths straining. His eyes moved back to James, following the others form as James had stepped back and began to cry. Then moving to whoever had come in and knocked James out, Helmut continued to watch for a long time. Seeing as one of the members of Hydra leaned in to look at Carl in the baby cage, who had just quietly been watching what was going on, clearly not understanding. Though as the agent was order to leave they turned from Carl and moved away, hearing whoever was in charge comment on Carl being 'too young' for their plans. Then the room began to fade into darkness. Soon enough, silence at followed. Or what he thought was silence, until he heard Carl talking to him "It's okay...Carl...It's ...ok-kay." He muttered hearing Carl starting to sniffle beside him and continued trying to get his attention. The world completely faded away then, before the sound of his wife's voice filled his ears. Waking him up once more, he didn't know how much time had gone by, but he could tell she was asking him to hang on.

[thadelightfulone]

All I Want... 25 Days of Christmas Challenge, Day 23

December 25th - Part 2

Erik went around the back of the house and set the water down by the coolers. He grabbed one and stopped when he heard a group chatting near the dessert table.

“Did you see that fine ass brother that DeeDee brought home?” 

“Wait, the dude with dreads came with DeeDee?” She slurped her soda, “I thought he was with Crystal.”

“Nope, he’s been up under her all day. I don’t even know what he sees in the Ice Queen?”

“Ice Queen, though? Brittany, you wrong for that.”

“Listen. All I’m saying is that she doesn’t know what to do with all that man.”

“And you think you do?” 

He recognized Phyllis’ voice when she spoke up. 

“Hey Phyll. So, you know who we are talking about?” 

“Of course, I do. And trust me, DeeDee can’t handle him.” Phyllis looked them up and down. “Just like y’all can’t.” She added.

“But you think you can?” 

“Oh, I know that I can. He needs a woman with some experience.”

Erik walked over. “Hey Ladies.” He chuckled at the deer in headlight expressions on their faces.

A chorus of hellos rang out. Brittany and Kori smiled at him. 

“I don’t think I’ve met you all yet. Well, besides Phyllis.” He nodded her way.

She smiled and waved at him.

“We’re DeeDee’s cousins. I’m Brittany.” She pointed at the one with a soda, “And that’s Kori.”

“Nice to meet you both.” He turned to Phyllis, “Have you seen DeeDee, she wasn’t out front when I came back?”

“She went inside with Ma Dear.”

“Great, thanks.” He looked back at them, “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

Erik walked into the house from the backdoor.

“No, the pleasure was all mine,” Brittany said loud enough for Phyllis and Kori to hear her.

She fanned herself with a napkin and they all laughed.

---

DeeDee was with her family in the living room. She was between her mom and Bev on a loveseat. Ma Dear and Miss Carrie were in their recliners. She was talking with her aunts and uncles, who were seated across the room. 

“So niece. Now that you earned your degree, what you gonna do?” Rob asked.

“Look for a full-time position teaching.”

“I thought you were already looking.” Gloria tapped DeeDee on her knee. 

“I have, I am. I visited some schools a few months back.”

“Well, what about your mentors? Isn’t someone retiring?” Ma Dear asked.

“Yeah, Dr. Bell is retiring.” DeeDee said, “She also told me that with the vacancy at Southern, I would be a shoo-in for the position if I applied for it.”

“That’s great news, sweetie.” Randi exclaimed.

 “Yeah, it is.”

“Are you gonna apply for it?” Kay asked. 

“Yeah, I mean I might as well.” 

“When will that be?” AJ spoke.

Erik followed the voices into the family room and waved to everyone. He walked up and stood behind DeeDee.

“As soon as the position is posted.” DeeDee responded, “I don’t know when that will be.”

“Good for you, DeeDee.” 

Erik’s head snapped to the side after the comment. DeeDee rolled her eyes when she heard Brandon’s voice. 

Brittany, Kori, and Phyllis walked in soon afterward. 

“Thank you.” DeeDee muttered.

“That’s right, DeeDee’s finally done with school.” Brittany faked her enthusiasm. 

“Yeah, I just earned my doctorate.”

“Hopefully, she will be my mentor next year.” Brandon winked at DeeDee.

“Not likely.” DeeDee spoke up.

“That’s cute.” Brittany waved her hand in the air.

“So, whose your little friend?” Kori asked.

“Erik, these are my cousins Brittany and Kori,” she pointed them out to him. “You met Bev on Friday.”

Erik smiled at Beverly and nodded towards Brittany and Kori. He placed his hand on DeeDee’s shoulder and she reached up to hold it. 

“So, how long have you two been dating?” Brittany asked. 

Erik gave her shoulder a squeeze and DeeDee took a deep breath before she answered. 

“Long enough.”

“Long enough for what?” Phyllis laughed.

“Does it really matter?” DeeDee eyed Phyllis.

“Actually, it does.”

“To who, Brittany? You and Kori?” DeeDee stood up, “One of you plan to take him like you did Gregory from Crystal?”

“Oooh, little miss DeeDee is getting some and now she think she grown grown.” Kori laughed.

“Oh hunny, he needs a real woman. Someone who can keep up with all of him.” Brittany spat.

“Phyllis, I thought you would be the only one but it looks like I may have to toss out my own flesh & blood, too.” Ma Dear sat up in her chair, “What is wrong with you girls?”

“DeeDee in here acting like she’s better than somebody.” Kori whined. 

“Because she got her degree and a man?” Kay rolled her eyes. “Y’all need to go on with that mess. Be happy for your cousin. He ain’t for you.”

“Yo, Erik you ready to play?” Darrick spoke up from his corner. All heads turned towards him. He grabbed the football from beside him and jumped up.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Erik walked past Brandon, “You should join us.”

“That’s not really my thing.”

Junior pulled Brandon along with him, “All you have to do is catch the ball.”

“You’ll even out the teams, young man.” AJ stood up from his seat and walked out of the room.

“You can impress the ladies, playboy.” Darrick was on Brandon’s other side.

“S- sure, I’ll play with you guys.” 

“Great.” Rob slapped Brandon on the back as he passed him. 

---

Everyone went outside to watch the guys play touch football. DeeDee stayed on the porch with her aunts, Ma Dear and Miss Carrie. Her cousins were standing on the sidelines, even Crystal brought the babies back out to watch the game. The guys split into two teams of 3 - Rob, Junior, Erik and AJ, Darrick, Brandon. 

On the first play, AJ tossed the ball to Darrick. He ran the ball forward and threw it to Brandon, who was shoulder-checked by Erik. Brandon stumbled but was able to stay up.

“My bad, guy.” Erik said as he ran backward away from Brandon. 

Brandon shook it off and took the ball from AJ. He tossed it to an open Darrick, who caught it and ran forward. AJ ran alongside Darrick and protected him from Junior and Erik. Darrick made it to the end of the yard and spiked the ball. 

Claps and cheers came from the women. Darrick waved and bowed towards them.

Next play, Erik started with the ball and snapped it to Junior. Junior ran forward and spun around narrowly missing Darrick. Junior threw the ball to Rob who was checked by AJ. 

After they reset the play, Rob threw the ball to Junior, but it was intercepted by Darrick. Darrick threw the ball to Brandon, who caught it and pivoted to run the ball in the right direction. With the ball at his side, Brandon ran full speed past Rob and Junior until he was clotheslined by Erik right at the endzone.

“Oh my god, Brandon!” Phyllis cried.

The whole group flinched as they watched Brandon fly back and land with the football in his chest. 

“Oooh boy, I know that hurt!” Rob called out.

AJ held his chest in mock pain while Junior and Darrick laughed. Erik walked over and helped Brandon up. 

When they locked arms, Erik pulled Brandon up and into him. 

“Just so we’re clear. DeeDee is off-limits.”

Brandon only wheezed and coughed in his ear. Erik took the ball from him.

“Are we clear?”

“Crystal.” Brandon rasped.

“Great.” 

Erik released his hold on Brandon, who lost his balance and was held up by Darrick and Junior. 

“That’s game everyone.” Rob called out.

---

Ma Dear and Miss Carrie stood up as the younger men brought Brandon back to the house. 

“Is he gonna be ok?” Phyllis followed the guys into the house. 

“Take him to the first bedroom, Junior.” Ma Dear said.

“Yes ma’am.”

Erik walked up to the house with Rob and AJ.

“Nice job, young blood.” Rob clapped him on the back. 

“If you were seeking Ma Dear’s approval, I think you got it.” AJ added.

“I just want hers.”

They all looked up to see DeeDee at the bottom of the steps. Rob and AJ nodded at her as they passed her on the steps. Erik stopped in front of her.

“Ready.” DeeDee blurted out.

“Get your things and we’ll say goodbye.”  

DeeDee bounced back into the house. Erik walked onto the porch, where all eyes were on him.

“Glory!” Randi called across the porch, “Worth it?”

“Absolutely,” Kay answered. 

Gloria stood up and walked towards him, “I know I don’t have to tell you.”

“No ma’am. She’s in good hands.” 

Gloria gave him a hug and then went inside. 

“That she is.” Ma Dear winked at him. “You’re welcome here anytime, Erik.”

“Thank you Ma Dear.” He gave her a hug and held the door open while she walked inside.  

Randi and Kay gave Erik hugs on their way into the house. 

DeeDee came out of the house with her bag and some plates. 

“You get enough baby?” Miss Carrie asked.

“Yes, Mama.”

She waved DeeDee over, “Alright, give me a hug. And let this man take you home.” 

DeeDee and Erik hugged Miss Carrie. She held onto their hands. 

“You be good to each other, ok.” She looked at Erik, “And don’t be a stranger.”

“Yes ma’am” They answered in unison. 

Erik leaned over and pecked her cheek. “Tell Bev, we said bye.”

---

DeeDee reached over for Erik’s hand as soon as they settled into the car. She held them together on her lap. Erik let the smooth jazz Christmas music fill the air as he drove them back to her apartment. When he parked, he turned towards DeeDee.

“What’s on your mind?”

DeeDee doesn’t respond. She just gripped his hand. 

Erik took his other hand and ran it along her cheek, “A penny for your thoughts.”

She sighed and looked at him, “Over pie and ice cream?”

He smiled at her, “If that’s what you want.” 

“Yeah.” She nodded.

He released her hand and got out of the car. DeeDee waited while he came around to her side. Erik opened the door and helped her out. He got the food from the back seat and took her hand back.  

When they entered her place, Erik put the food away in the kitchen and DeeDee went to her room. She came out dressed in a black hoodie and gray yoga pants. 

“Do you want everything in a bowl or on a plate?” DeeDee asked him as she pulled out utensils.

“A plate is fine.” 

“Go get comfy.” She pointed to the back, “I’ll fix everything.”

“I want everything please.” He kissed her cheek and left the kitchen.

When Erik returned, DeeDee was not in the living room. He could hear soft music playing as he walked around. The curtains from her patio were moving. 

“I’m out here.” She called to him.

Erik walked outside and saw her laid out on her chaise lounge. 

“So, you just gonna copy me?” DeeDee pointed at him with her spoon. 

Erik was dressed in a black hoodie and gray sweatpants.

“You aren’t the only one who is comfy dressed like this. I wear suits all day, so I enjoy moments like this.”

He picked up her legs, slid in sideways on the end of the lounge chair and put her legs on his. DeeDee handed him his plate.

They sat in pleasant silence just eating their pie and ice cream. 

“There is so much on my mind and I just feel confused.” DeeDee spoke up.

Erik set his plate on the small table beside DeeDee and turned towards her.

“Start anywhere. What’s the first thing that you want to blurt out?”

“I’m scared, Erik.”

“What’s scaring you?”

DeeDee closed her eyes and then looked up at Erik. “I don’t want to stay here.” 

“So, this is about the newly opened position?” 

“Yes and no.”

“Then don’t apply for it.” 

“They’re basically handing it to me. And everyone expects me to take it.” 

“They expect you to take it, but what do you want?”

“A new opportunity in another state. Remember, I want to teach and travel with my research.” 

“I know that. So what's the real issue, Dee? 

He looked over at her and saw her eyes gloss over. He placed her bowl on top of his plate, grabbed her waist and pulled her into his arms. 

“What if I don’t get any offers? It’s been almost 2 months and I have not heard from anyone. And then there’s you. I mean what about us? This is new and I’m just-” She rushed out and then sighed into his chest. 

Erik lifted her chin so DeeDee was looking at him. “Don’t worry about me. I will be here.” He leaned forward, touching his lips to hers. “I found you and I am not letting you go.” He whispered against her lips. 

“Do you think we can make it work?” She looked up at him, “I mean, from wherever I end up working?” 

“I know we can, but you need to know that, too.” 

DeeDee kissed him back and laid her head against his chest.

He rubbed her back, “We’ll figure it out.”

Taglist: @teakturn @ghostfacekill-monger @shaekingshitup @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @woahitslucyylu @ladymac82 @bugngiz @eyeknowmywrites @ajspencer1892 @arafatih @issimplyaamazinggg @tchallasbabymama @killmonger-fics @beautifullmelodyxx @raysunshine78 @fd-writes @ljstraightnochaser @just-peachee @kaleidoscopeofsoul​ @sincerelykas 

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch52: Chicken Soup And Baseball Gloves

Intro: The original Avengers are re-united and along with Rhodey, Rocket, Nebula and Scott Lang, they run the first test on their Time Machine. 

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut! (NSFW) No under 18s.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: Holler @angrybirdcr​ does the biz with the edits again

Chapter 51

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

“Any news on Natasha?” Katie asked, her voice thick, as Steve walked into the kitchen.

“Not yet.” He shook his head, as she reached over, adding bread to the toaster. “She was still working on a lead. How are you feeling?”

“Ok.” She lied. Behind her, Steve rolled his eyes.  

“I can hear you wheezing from here. Go back to bed.”

“I don’t want to lie in bed.” She shrugged and he took a deep breath, crossing the room to stand behind her. It wasn’t often she got sick, but when she did she was a terrible patient.

“Sweetheart.” His arms circled her waist. “You’re burnt out and ill, and you certainly can’t go to the compound like this.”

He was right, Katie couldn’t actually remember the last time she felt so bad. She’d requested they leave the compound early last night as the group sat around discussing Tony’s plans to build their bigger Quantum Tunnel. She’d had a headache that she thought was a migraine, but had woken herself and Steve with a particularly nasty coughing fit in the early hours of the morning, whereby he’d gone to fetch her a glass of water and laid with her, rubbing her back until she fell asleep again.

“My plan was to actually lay on the sofa all day watching trash.” She shrugged, coughing a little.

“Ok, if that’s what you want.” he nodded, gently moving her so she was facing him. “Go, I’ll fix the kids breakfast. Do you want anything to eat?”

She shook her head, before letting rip with another hacking cough, her hand flying to her mouth as she turned away from him.

“C'mon,” he sighed, “c'mere.”

Katie practically fell into him when he wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled her head into his chest, her arms wrapping around his waist. “I’m fine,”

“You look like crap.”

“You’re mean.” She croaked out. He chuckled as he brought his hand up and pressed it against her forehead and she closed her eyes, he felt so cool.

“You have a fever. Did you take anything?”

She nodded “Tylenol and cough syrup.”

“Well go lay down until it kicks in.”

“Okay,” she finally relented, and Steve watched as she stepped out of his embrace and headed into the living room. The last time Steve had anything like a cold was pre the serum. He felt the odd sore throat and sniffle every now and then but as fast as they arrived they went thanks to his healing qualities. Jamie seemed to be the same. As a baby he picked up a few bugs but he was back to normal in a maximum of a day. There was one time a few months ago he had picked up a nasty cold that had lasted longer, making him even more of a mamma’s boy, clingy and grouchy. But after thirty-six hours he was back to his normal self, the half of him that held the super soldier serum clearly winning out. And Steve was glad, if the half of Jamie that was his father meant he rarely get sick, he’d passed something good onto his son. Emmy, on the other hand, was like Katie. No serum, so when she got sick she felt it more. And Katie was always on hand to look after her kids, even when she felt crappy herself. So when it fell to Steve to look after her, he was more than happy to do so.

“Is Mama sick?” Jamie asked, from where he was sat at the table, his face creased into a frown.

“Yeah she is, buddy.” Steve nodded, grabbing the toast as it popped up from the toaster, buttering it and cutting it into squares for his son. He placed it down in front of Jamie and then popped more in for himself. “Just a cold though, she’ll be fine.”

Steve left the kitchen for a moment, shouting up the stairs for Emmy to get a move on before returning and pouring himself a coffee and one into a Thermos mug for Emmy to take with her.  Apparently the ‘in thing’ now was to take her breakfast to eat on the way. Steve had no idea why, but whatever. When did he ever have a clue about anything that was on trend?

She bustled in, rucksack on her back and grabbed the toast he was holding out in a paper napkin and her mug.

“Thanks Dad.” She smiled, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Your Mom’s in the lounge, she’s not feeling too good.” He looked at her. “So I know you wanted Brooke to come over tonight but it might be better to give it a miss.”

“Okay.” She nodded, “I can go to hers instead. Will you be here to give me a lift later if I come home and get some stuff?”

“Sure.” He nodded. She ruffled Jamie’s hair on her way past and then disappeared up the hall, and he was pleased to see she popped her head into the lounge to tell Katie to get better soon.

“Are we going to the compound?” Jamie asked as Steve sat down, his own breakfast now in front of him.

“You’re going to Day Care.” Steve looked at him. “You haven’t been in a while.”

“I don’t wanna.” Jamie pouted

“Well, suck it up.” Steve replied. It was important to him and Katie that their son interacted with kids his own age as much as possible, so even whilst Katie wasn’t going to work today, Jamie was going to nursery. “I’m staying home today. We can go to the compound at weekend. If your momma’s better maybe we can stay over.”

Jamie pondered this for a moment. “Okay.”

Steve chuckled and ruffled his son’s hair as the two of them ate their breakfast. Jamie requested a bowl of cereal once his toast was finished, and to be fair Steve was still hungry too so he made them both a helping of Cheerios before he cleaned Jamie down and got him dressed. Once that was done he popped his head into the lounge and saw Katie was asleep under one of the throws.

“You got everything?” He looked at Jamie, quickly checking him over. He had his small rucksack in his hands, his jumper was on and he was clean. Looked good to Steve.

“Yep!” Jamie nodded enthusiastically.

“Alright, come on then.” Steve held out his hand, and Jamie slipped his little palm into his Dad’s as he opened the door and they made their way to the car.

*****

“Why is it so cold?” Katie groaned, pulling the comforter round her as she shuffled into the kitchen.

“It’s not cold, you’re just sick.” Steve pulled the orange juice out of the fridge, pouring her a giant glass. He handed it to her, raising his hand to her forehead. “You’re still warm.”

“No, I told you, I’m freezing.”

Steve was about to say something when they heard the security system telling them Tony had arrived.

“Why is Tone here?” Katie asked, coughing again.

“Dunno.” Steve shrugged. “I told him I wasn’t going to the compound today as you were sick so maybe he’s come to see how you are.”

“Bit out of his way.” Katie pondered, as the front door opened.

“Knock knock.” Her brother’s voice called up the hallway.

“Kitchen Tony.” Steve called back.

“Just thought I’d see how the patient was,” Tony’s voice rang out down the hallways and Katie rolled her eyes, “so far so good, I see no red cross on the door telling everyone to stay away or any one walking outside chanting bring out your dead…”

At that point he walked into the kitchen and nodded to Steve before he turned to Katie. “Huh, maybe there should be. You look like shit.”

She was pale, her hair was pulled into a messy pony tail and her nose was bright red. She opened her mouth to shoot some comment back about being pissed off with people telling her she looked terrible but was cut off by a fit of hacking coughs.

“I’m dying.” She groaned.

“From a cold?”  Tony rolled his eyes.

“I feel like it.” She mumbled.

Steve chuckled and stirred the soup in the pan.

“Smells good, Spangles!” Tony looked round him to glance down. “What is it.”

“Chicken soup, my Ma’s own recipe. Plenty if you want some.” Steve offered.

“No, it’s mine and I don’t like people taking my stuff.” Katie pouted, childishly. “That soup makes everything better.”

“Don’t be a brat.” Steve shot her a look.

“I’m ill, don’t shout at me.” She shot back, coughing again. Steve pointed to the orange juice that she had set down on the side and the Tylenol next to it.

“Drink that, and take that.” He instructed. “And then back to the couch.”

“You’re not my dad.” She glared at him, sullenly. Steve took a deep breath and bristled, Jesus she was obstinate.

“No, but I am, well, by default.” Tony eyed her. “Do as you’re told.”

She gave Tony a look that was positively mutinous, staring directly into his brown eyes before she reached over, took two pills from the packet, tossed them down with a swallow of juice and flipped him off.

“I guess I’ll be on the couch.” She grumbled, retreating out of the kitchen.

“Thanks.” Steve sighed once she was gone, and Tony chuckled.

“She was a nightmare as a kid when she got sick.” He mused, leaning back against the counter.

“She still is. Insists on trying to keep going instead of resting.”

“You know, when she was ten she got a nasty bout of tonsillitis.” Tony stepped over to grab the coffee from the cupboard. “It turned into something called Quinsy and she ended up hospitalised as one of them burst and she needed them removing under emergency surgery. They were worried about blood poisoning.” Tony paused to top the machine up with coffee and he grabbed the glass jug from underneath. “She demanded to come home the next day even though she was on some heavy duty IV anti-biotics, full scale tantrum when she was told she had to stay in for four days.”

Steve snorted as Tony filled the machine with water and turned it on.

“So trying to carry on when she has a cold is nothing.” Tony looked at him. “Just tell her whose boss.”

The men exchanged a look, both of them fully understanding that Steve was most definitely not the boss before they laughed and Tony clapped him on the shoulder, moving to make the coffee.

“So, Pepper is coming to the compound for the rest of the week” Tony poured himself a drink before he did the same and handed it to Steve. “I was wondering if you wanted me to take Jamie off your hands for the evening, Morgan will be pleased to see him.”

Steve hesitated for a second, as he took a sip of his coffee. He was still torn as to whether the compound really was the best place for the kids. But, the living area was far enough away from any of the equipment, and Emmy had lived there before…

“Don’t worry, I won’t turn him into a teenager.” Tony spotted the flicker of doubt that flashed across Steve’s face.

“No, it’s not that, I trust you Tony, I-” Steve began, feeling that he needed to explain but Tony waved him away.

“I know, and believe me I wasn’t sure I wanted Morgan there but I haven’t seen her since Monday.”

“You know, you don’t have to be at the Compound permanently.” Steve turned the heat down on the stove.

“I know but it’s just easier.” Tony shrugged. “Especially whilst we’re still building the stuff.”

Steve nodded and began to pull three bowls out of the cupboard “Okay, well yeah I’m sure Jamie would like that.”

“Great, I can get him on the way back, I’m assuming he’s at the tower?”

Steve glanced at the clock on the wall. It was only half two but there was no time limits on when he could be collected from Nursery. “Yeah he is, I’ll call ahead, let them know you’re picking him up.”

Tony clapped his hands together. “Great.”

“Let me get this to the patient and then you can fill me in on what’s been going on.” Steve said, picking up a bowl of the soup and a spoon.

****

Katie’s cold lasted three full days. On the fourth night, she had another restless sleep. Not wanting her constant tossing and turning to wake Steve, she headed down stairs, took another dose of Tylenol and turned on the TV, snuggling under the blanket on the sofa. She felt like crap. Luckily the medicine kicked in about fifteen minutes later and she managed to fall asleep, Lucky curled around her legs, keeping her feet warm. When she woke later that morning, she was pleased to find she felt a lot clearer headed and she didn’t ache when she moved which was a bonus.

“You look better.” Steve smiled as she wandered into the kitchen. He’d left her asleep on the couch when he’d seen her earlier that morning, the kids were still in bed seeing as it was weekend.

“I feel it.” she nodded, running her hands through her hair “I’m starving.”

Her appetite being back was a good thing.

“Want me to fix you anything?” Steve asked.

“Eggs and bacon.” she said enthusiastically “I’m gonna grab a shower.”

“Good I can smell you from here.” he teased, laughing as she raised a middle finger which she held up over her shoulder as she walked out of the kitchen. The shower made her feel even better, and once she was dressed in actual clothes and not Pyjamas she felt human again.

She devoured her breakfast, drank another large glass of orange juice and Steve filled her in on what was going on at the Compound. Natasha was still tracking Clint, the Quantum Tunnel Machine was well under construction, Thor, well, Thor seemed to still be a little distracted but he was engaging as much as could be expected and they’d started designs on suits that would help them navigate the Quantum Realm.

“Has anyone given any thought to how we actually get the stones?” Katie asked, a small cough escaping her.

“I’ve been thinking about it a bit.” Steve nodded. “There are a number of possibilities. But trying to get them individually instead of all at once is likely going to be the best bet.”

“How’s that going to work?” She pondered and Steve shrugged.

“To be honest, I haven’t got that far.” He sighed, and Katie dropped the subject.

They headed over to the compound in the late morning, and immediately Katie and Steve spotted the Quinjet was back. They shared a glance, knowing that could only mean one thing and, as quickly as they could, they got the kids out of the car and headed inside. As they made their way towards the main lounge, Katie heard a familiar voice and she felt her chest tighten. Letting go of Steve’s hand, she broke into a run and burst into the room. Everyone in there turned to face her as she stood, stock still, staring at her one time Senior Officer.

“Clint…” She whispered, before she threw herself at him, hugging him tight.

“Hey, Katie.” he croaked as she buried her face into his neck, his arms wrapping around her, squeezing her into a strong hug. 

“Hey yourself.” She sniffled slightly as she stepped back, before she grinned and ran her hand over the shorn sides of his hair. “Nice Mohawk.”

He chuckled and then his attention turned to Steve “Hey, Cap.”

“Hey Clint.” Steve smiled, stepping forward to embrace his friend. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too.” Clint smiled, before he glanced down to Steve’s right where Jamie was now tugging on his hand. 

“Daddy, who’s this?” He asked as Steve picked him up. 

“Jamie, this is Clint. A friend of mine and your mom’s.” Steve smiled.

“And this is Emmy.” Katie said from behind him. Emmy gave him a smile that was a little shyer than Jamie’s as Clint nodded to her.

“Pleased to meet you both. I heard a lot about you from Natasha.”

“Auntie Nat-Nat gives me chocolate.” Jamie grinned. “But I’m not upposed to tell anyone where she keeps it.”

“She used to give my kids chocolate.” Clint smiled, sadly.  “Even when I told her not to.”

Silence fell across the room, no one really knowing what to say to that. Clint took a deep breath and looked down at his feet, until Katie spoke, breaking the tension.

“Shall I fix lunch?” She offered and the team all made noises of agreement and started to move around. Clint smiled at her, and then looked at the boy in Steve’s arms. .

“He looks like you, Cap.” He nodded. Steve smiled and looked at Jamie.

“Apparently so.”

“I think it’s great you guys, you know, that you’re parents.” Clint smiled at Katie. She returned the grin.

“Yeah, it has its moments.” She watched as Steve set Jamie down and he wandered over to Natasha, who beamed at him as he clambered into her lap.  

“Especially when dealing with stroppy teenagers.” Steve quipped looking at Emmy who rolled her eyes.

“Change the record, Dad.”

“Note she said record, not CD old man.” Tony shot.

“It’s just a figure of speech.” Steve rolled his eyes “And for the record, I wish you’d change yours too.”

Clint looked around and caught Katie’s eye, a fond, nostalgic look on his face. And she knew why. It was almost as if nothing had changed. The banter was familiar, each person taking up their role they had held in the Avengers easily, as if the last seven years hadn’t happened. But then, looking around the room was enough to make you remember that they had. They looked different, felt different. They’d split, gone their separate ways and then the Snap had ripped everything from under them, and none of them had lost as much as Clint. 

Katie smiled. “Wanna come help with lunch?” She asked softly, as he hastily wiped a tear from his face.

“Yeah,” he nodded. The pair of them made for the door and she turned to Steve who shot her a smile, before she led Clint towards the kitchen.

“Thanks.” He muttered as they left the room. They walked silently until they reached the kitchen and Katie shut the door as she walked to the fridge pulling out various ingredients to make a huge pan of stuff for fajitas.

“So,” she turned to Clint, handing him a knife, “you chop veg, I’ll do the chicken.”

He smiled softly. “You sound like Laura.”

“Clint, I’m so sorry.” Katie sighed. “I’ve no words that can even pretend to offer a comfort. I can’t begin to imagine-”

“Natasha told me about your baby.” Clint cut her off as he looked at her. She looked down at the chopping board before meeting his eyes. “You lost too.”

“Yeah, we did.” She sighed “We all lost someone.”

“Bet you didn’t go on a killing spree because of it.” Clint sighed, taking a deep breath.

“Clint,” Katie took a deep breath. “Yeah, what you did wasn’t…great, but you can’t let it define you.”

Clint stayed silent for a moment before Katie spoke again. “Steve killed someone you know. In cold blood. One of the HYDRA guys that kept me captive and, well, you know what they did.”

Clint let out a growl. “I don’t blame him, I’d have put an arrow in his head if it had been Laura.”

“That’s my point.” Katie shrugged. “Something like that tipped Captain America, the sentinel of justice and truth-” she framed her words with her fingers making quotation marks and Clint snorted “-over the edge. Someone as morally correct as Steve snapped because of something someone did to me. He didn’t do it to protect me, he did it for out and out revenge.”

“That’s not the same-”

“Maybe not.” Katie shrugged. “But the point I’m trying to make, albeit very badly, is that people react to trauma in different ways.”

“It was anger.” Cling spoke after a moment. “Anger and bitterness that they died and all these assholes didn’t. I wanted to even the scales a little myself. Why did they get to live and my family didn’t?”

“Exactly. You went through the most awful thing ever.” Katie laid a hand on Clint’s arm. “It might not make it right, but it makes it a little more understandable. Certainly from my point of view.” At that she returned to her chopping, with a little shake of her head. “If anything happened to either of my kids, I’d lose it too.”

“That implies you had it to lose in the first place.” Clint quipped, cheekily. She looked up and she was pleased to see the mischievous Barton glint had returned to his eyes.

****

As Tony reminded them all, whilst they had a working Quantum Tunnel, building that into something bigger to do what they needed to do was going to take time. Everyone understood, even if it was frustrating, but as Katie kept pointing out, they’d waited five years for this, what was a couple of months more?

Those months Katie and Steve spent flitting between the Compound, Stark Tower, their home in Brooklyn and Tony’s lake house, trying to manage the time between Emmy’s exams, ensuring the kids were looked after during the school vacation, keeping a business going and maintaining as normal a life for Emmy and Jamie as possible.  

But then, one Wednesday morning in late September, Tony let out a triumphant yell. They were ready.

With Emmy and Jamie both safely out of the way- Emmy back at school, and Jamie in Day Care- they decided on taking their test that same afternoon. The goal was simple, go back in time for a minute or so, pick something up, see if it could be brought back. Katie and Steve followed Tony through the hangar as he was dragging the metal pipe which contained the power cables they had just helped him arrange into the mains which would fire up the machine. In front of them, Thor was walking, drinking a beer as usual, dressed in a scruffy pair of grey sweats and a red hooded top.

“Drifting left!” Tony warned the God. “On the side there, Lebowski”

Katie snorted at the reference. “Makes a change from Point Break.” she said, and Steve grinned.

 “Ratchet, how’s it going?”  Tony called.

 Rocket looked up from where he had been working on something underneath the glass platform “It’s Rocket. Take it easy. You’re only a genius on Earth, pal”

Tony stopped and grinned, catching Katie’s eye, passing the cable to Rocket and giving the raccoon instructions on where to plug each wire.

 “Okay so where’s Lang?” Steve asked, looking around.

“In the chamber having his suit calibrated.” Nat looked up from the tablet she was poking around on. The machine lit up, and Tony stepped back and looked at her. “So far the fluctuation levels are holding.” She nodded and Tony grinned.

 “You say it like you’re surprised, Red.” He shot back. She merely smirked to herself, tapping again.

 “I’ll go see if they’re ready.” Katie nodded.

 “Hey, hey, hey! Easy, easy!” She could hear Scott’s voice as she approached the side chamber in the lab.

 “I’m being very careful” Banner replied

 “No, you’re being very Hulky”

 “I’m being careful.”

She reached the doorway where Clint was leaning against the frame, and looked at him. He shot her a smirk as she turned her attention to Lang who was holding up a small, red glass tube.

“These are Pym Particles, alright? And ever since Hank Pym got snapped out of existence, this is it. This is what we have. We’re not making any more.” 

“Scott, calm down.” Rhodey soothed, looking at him.

 “Sorry.” Scott said, “But we’ve only got enough for one round trip each. That’s it. No do-overs. Plus two test runs.”

 At that, with a yell, he shrank and then grew again back to his normal size after accidentally pressing a button. Katie let out a groan as she looked at Clint.

 “One test run.” she shot, turning to Lang.

“All right. I’m not ready for this.” Scott shook his head and Katie noticed the slightly panicked look in his face. Before she could say anything else, however, Clint spoke softly.

“I’m game.” He nodded as everyone turned to him. “I’ll do it.

There was a moment’s pause before Katie grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. “Suit up then, Hawkeye.”

Clint and Lang switched places, and Bruce handed him one of the GPS controllers. Instantly the same suit Lang was wearing formed round Clint as Lang deactivated his, grabbing his baseball cap from the floor.

“Wai-wait a second, let me ask you something.” Rhodey spoke, his tone making it clear this was something he had been thinking about for a while. “If we can do this, you know, go back in time, why don’t we just find baby Thanos, you know, and…” He made a hand gesture suggesting he was strangling something.

“First of all that’s horrible.” Bruce spoke in a disgusted voice.

“It’s Thanos.” Rhodey shrugged, simply and Katie had to agree. If that as a plan would work, she had no problems in going back and being the one to choke the life out of him. Infant or no infant.

“And secondly, time doesn’t work that way. Changing the past doesn’t change the future.” Bruce continued.

“Look.” Scott nodded.  “We go back, we get the stones before Thanos gets them, Thanos doesn’t have the stones. Problem solved.”

“Bingo.” Clint agreed.

“That’s not how it works.” Katie shook her head.

“She’s right.” Nebula added. “It’s not.”

“Well, that’s what I heard.” Clint shrugged.

“What? By who? Who told you that?” Bruce sighed.

Rhodey held up his hand, counting with his fingers as he spoke. “Star Trek, Terminator, TimeCop, Time After Time…”

“A Wrinkle in Time, Somewhere in Time.” Rhodey continued.

“Hot Tub Time Machine” Scott added.

“Hot Tub Time Machine. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Basically, any movie that deals with time travel.” Rhodey looked around.

“Die Hard?” Scott asked, before he frowned. “No, that’s not one.”

“This is known.” Rhodey finished.

“I don’t know why everyone believes that, but that isn’t true.” Banner said, earnestly “Think about it: If you travel to the past, that past becomes your future. And your former present becomes the past. Which can’t now be changed by your new future.”

“Exactly.” Nebula added.

“So ‘Back To The Future’ is a bunch of bullshit?” Scott asked, with the air of a small child whom someone had just told Santa didn’t exist.

“Afraid so.” Katie looked at him. “Furthermore, there’s a theory that Tony alluded to when he mentioned the Deutsch proposition. If you alter an event in the past you create an alternate universe and timeline as a result. You don’t change yours.”

“Which is why I think we’re gonna have to put the stones back when we’re done.” Bruce mused. “But we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” He tapped a final button and then stood up. “Okay, that’s it.”

“Ready?” Katie looked at Clint. 

He nodded “Let’s get this show on the road.”

*****

“Lang had an attack of nerves when he accidentally used up one lot of Pym Particles” Katie explained as Steve looked at Clint, confused as to why he was the one in the Quantum Suit on the platform in the middle of the hangar.

“Wait, he used them?” Steve frowned.

“Yeah, so now we only have one test run. But Clint says he’s up for it.” She looked at Tony who opened his mouth to say something, and shook her head. He took a deep breath, simply shrugging as Steve turned to Clint.

“All good?” He asked, and Clint gave him the thumbs up.

“Alright, Clint.” Banner looked at him. “We’re going in three… two… one!”

The helmet sprang forth onto Clint’s head from his suit and he was sucked down through the platform into the Quantum Realm.

“Returning in five…four…three…two…one!”   

The portal opened again and Clint re-materialised on the glass platform, breathing heavily.  

Natasha was first up the steps, taking his face in her hands “Hey, hey, look at me. You okay?”

He waved off her concern, but that wasn’t what Steve was looking at. It was the baseball glove in his hands. Clint tossed it to Tony who caught it, slapping it slightly into his hand, a look of victory on his face.

It worked.

“Cap?” Tony turned to Steve and he realised that everyone was looking to him for directions.

“We need to plan carefully where we go.” He cleared his throat, taking a deep breath and letting it out. “I suggest we start first thing in the morning.”

****

“Em,” Steve spoke as the family sat down to dinner later that evening. “You know we’ve been doing a lot of work at the compound?”

He looked at Emmy, who nodded. After swearing her to secrecy, they’d explained everything to her when they had first started, both of them believing she was old enough to know the truth, and they respected her too much to keep anything from her. 

“Has it worked? Did Tony build it?”

“Yeah, and we think that we should probably move to the compound, just until this is all over. We’ll still make sure you get to school and stuff, we don’t want any of this to impact anything for either of you.” He looked at her. She took a deep breath, but it wasn’t her who spoke next, It was Jamie.

“Can I bring my toys? And Lucky?”

“I think Clint would really like to see him again.” Katie smiled. Clint’s reunion with the dog a few weeks ago would have melted even the coldest of hearts. Lucky had been overjoyed to see his old master, and Clint had buried his face into the animal’s fur, sobbing quietly. Jamie had been indignant that the dog was paying more attention to Clint than him, but that had all changed when Jamie had called his name and Lucky had run back to his side, licking him furiously. Katie had explained to Clint that the two had a very strong bond and Clint had smiled, stating that the animal had loved Nathaniel as well. He was simply happy someone had taken care of him. 

“He’s my dog.” Jamie pouted and Steve snorted, shooting Katie a look.

“Someone else doesn’t like people touching their stuff.” he muttered, grimacing as Katie kicked him in the shin “Ow!”

*****

“You know, we’re gonna have problems if Clint wants to take that dog back.” Steve said as they lay in bed later that night.

“I’m hoping he won’t” Katie sighed. “I mean he’s twelve this year, I’m sure Clint will be happy to let stay seeing as he’s older now.”

“Oh is that how it works?” Steve asked, his hand moving through her hair. “The older you are, the more people want to keep you settled?”

“Why else do you think I kept you around for so long?” Katie shrugged.

“That’s just rude, Mrs Rogers.” Steve looked at her and she grinned as she pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Suppose you have other uses.” She smirked against his lips.

“Really, what might they be?” He asked, in between kisses as she straddled him, his hands creeping up the t-shirt she was wearing and resting on her hips.

“Not sure now you come to mention it?” She wrinkled her nose, wriggling slightly against his crotch, making him grunt. “You might need to remind me.”

Steve simply pushed his hips upwards and Katie groaned softly as his arousal pressed up against her spot. Steve’s hand moved from her hip up to the back of her neck, pulling her down into a deep kiss that had the pair of them wanting far more. Steve hungrily pulled her top over her head, sitting up, running his nose up and down her sternum in between the lines of her breasts. Katie’s head fell back slightly as she bit her lip, relishing the feeling of his skin on hers as his lips traced a path from her jaw line to her neck.

“Remembered yet?” He muttered, breath hot on her ear as she let out another soft whimper.

“Not quite.” She teased. In a flash he had her on her back, and was kissing down the length of her body, nose skimming the waist band of her underwear before he hooked a finger into each side and pulled the garment down her legs. Hands on her knees he gently moved he legs further apart and grinned at the sight of her arousal.

“Liar.” He mumbled, setting his mouth to her. 

Her soft, breathy moans soon filled their room as his tongue worked her over, his right hand placed over her stomach to anchor her into place. He would never get tired of this, hearing her, feeling her as she came undone, her back arching off the bed, knees gripping at the side of his head. He snuck a glance upwards and had to chuckle slightly as she had a pillow pressed over her face to muffle her noises. As she flattened back down, he dispensed of his boxers, crawling back over her, gently removing the item from her face.

“You okay?” He asked with a trace of amusement. She glanced up at him, smiling and laughed as she drew her breath.

“You know, one other thing about going back to the compound,” she chuckled as he pressed against her, giving her another kiss, “the walls to our room are soundproof so there’s no-“

He cut her off as he pushed into her harshly, causing her eyes to close and her breath to catch. He continued to thrust, slowly, powerfully. Watching her face as he did so.

“Eyes on me, Doll.” He managed a low growl and she bit down on her lip, before her jaw slacked slightly and he saw her brow crease just as it always did when she was about to tip over that precipice, riding that fine line between pain and pleasure.

“Come on, Kitten.” He panted, his hips continuing. “Let go…”

And she did, she came hard as her hands wrapped around his biceps, nails digging into his skin as Steve chased his own end furiously, coming with a violent final thrust, his head buried in the crook of her shoulder.

They lay in silence for a while, Katie falling asleep way before Steve. The Soldiers brain was running on overdrive analysing the day. Their machine worked, the test run had been a success, but he knew the hard work was only just beginning. They had to suss out when and where to go to get the stones, and then there was actually doing it. That was going to be the hardest part of all. Then, they faced even more engineering to develop something to harness them, and, maybe the biggest question of all, deciding who was going to snap their fingers.

He glanced down at his wife, her long eyelashes laying against her cheek as she slept. She looked so peaceful.  With a soft sigh he kissed the top of her head and lay back, eyes closed, the warmth of her body soothing him slightly as he felt the tendrils of tiredness pulling him under.

**** Chapter 53

 **Original Posting**

[aggedyann]

Making Himself Worse

“It’s almost like you’re trying to make yourself worse,” Tim fussed, watching Ethan sneeze while pulling his scrub top over his head. “Bless you.” He sighed.

“I’m fine.” Ethan tried to sound reassuring, but his congestion belied him.

Tim sighed. “You’re not getting better. You’ve been sick all week.”

“It’s just a cold.”

“That kept you up all night.”

Ethan couldn’t argue that point. His cough had certainly been persistent, and when it had given him a break, he’d woken himself up sneezing.

“I’ve got to go to work.” He explained, patiently. “Full schedule that would have to be rebooked. Diabetes class to teach today, too.” He cleared his throat against the hoarseness.

Tim sighed. “Don’t forget to take your voice.” He called after Ethan as he left the room, pretending not to notice as he flipped him off.

Tim pulled the blankets over his head and tried to go back to sleep; it was 5:30 am after all, and he’d been out late celebrating the show getting picked up for another 13 weeks. He could hear Ethan sneezing his way around the bathroom and then the kitchen and wondered how many sneezes were due to Ethan’s typical morning sneezes and how many were from his cold.

He heard the front door close without Ethan popping back in to kiss him goodbye. Momentarily sulky beneath the blankets, he rolled over, covers over his head and went back to sleep. If Ethan wanted to be a stubborn ass, so be it; he was the one who’d suffer the consequences.

“Hatshoo!” Ethan walked into the staff office and swapped his hoodie for his scrub jacket, immediately burying a sneeze in its sleeve.

“Thought you would have called in today.” Toby said in lieu of bless you.

Ethan grabbed a tissue off his desk. “I’mb finde.” He sniffled.

“Fine is spelled with an ‘n’.”

This was met with a glare from Ethan over his tissue as he blew his nose. “I’m fiNe.”

“You’re here?” Lisa walked in and dropped her purse on the chair next to him. Ethan pretended not to notice as she handed over cash to Toby who whispered “told you.”

“It’s just a cold.” Ethan rasped, sitting down at his workstation.

“God, your voice is shot.”

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, how am I supposed to teach with the voiceless sneeze machine?”

“Shut up, Toby. I’m not that bad.” Ethan glanced up at the white board with the room assignments. “I’m in 10? I thought I was in 7.”

“We moved you in the corner. That way only Neely has to listen to you sneeze all day.”

“Lucky me.” Neely commented, walking in and sitting down in front of her computer.

“Sorry.” Ethan apologized. Neely had been working with him all week, and had been more patient than the others in putting up with his coughing and sneezes.

She shrugged. “After 3 years of your hay fever, I’m used to it.”

Ethan shot her a grateful look. At least she wasn’t betting on if he’d call in.

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

He shrugged. “It’s a cold. I’m ok. I’ll rest up this weekend.” He assured her as Tiffany walked in.

“You’re seriously here? You can’t even talk.” She stepped over to Toby and slipped him some cash.

Ethan muffled another loud sneeze in his jacket collar. “Ahshoo! It’s just-“

“A cold. We know.” Toby finished for him. “I’ll see you at 2.”

Ethan grabbed his tissues and the box of masks he’d been using. “Anyone else got any comments?” He snipped. “If not, I’m going to get to work.”

2:15 diabetes ed. Ethan could all but breathe a sigh of relief. Well, if his clogged sinuses would let him. He blew his nose again, attempting to clear out the congestion, dumped hand sanitizer on his hands, then took a long drink of water. Taking a trip to the fountain, he set his water bottle under the automated water dispenser and filled it, then headed back to the room.

Toby hadn’t given him too much hell after the first class, so Ethan knew he had it coming after this one. He sucked hard on his cough drop as Toby brought the half dozen participants in.

He pulled his mask down as Toby introduced himself as the dietitian, and when given an expectant look, spoke up for his introduction. “I’m Ethan.” His voice cracked, and he saw his teammate bite back a smile. He cleared his throat. “I’m Ethan. I’m the diabetes educator. As you can probably tell, I’ve got somewhat of a cold.”

A laugh, disguised as a cough from Toby.

He turned to glance at Toby. “Hope I haven’t given it to you.” He managed a syrupy tone despite his hoarse voice.

“Never better.” Toby came back in the same tone. “Would you like to get started?”

“Hah-Ahchoo!” Ethan hesitated, turned around and sneezed powerfully, tucking his masked face into his elbow. Sniffling, he straightened up, sanitizing his hands again.

“Bless. Now that that’s out of the way?”

Ethan provided a quick overview of diabetes, the differences between type I and type II and that this course would focus on type II. He switched to medications, being interrupted by a second, equally powerful sneeze, this time blessed by the entire class. “Ahtshoo! Excuse me.” He managed, blushing. “I’ve got to change my mask.”

Toby jumped in. “Let’s take 5. Ethan’s portion gets a little dense. He’s almost done though.” Ethan shot him a relieved glance and ducked off to the empty staff office. He managed to clear his nose slightly, clearing his ghost of a voice and slipped a new mask on.

He finished his spiel on medications and switched over to assisting Toby with creating carb counting plates for 45 minutes, only interrupting Toby once with a poorly timed sneeze.

Toby transitioned back to him for the second hands on portion of the class. Checking blood sugars. Ethan grabbed the kit work had assigned him and began to demonstrate, narrating as he set up the machine, wiped his finger down, poked it, and placed the blood on the strip. “138.” He read, when the meter beeped.

Toby frowned. “High for you.” He whispered.

“Sick.” Ethan whispered back. “This cold is kicking my ass.” As if to prove his point, he buried another harsh sneeze in his forearm.

“Bless.” Toby frowned again, then began handing out meters.

He provided back up as Ethan made his way around the table, making sure each student was able to check their blood sugar, noticing for the first time how pale Ethan was. How pronounced the dark circles were beneath his eyes. A twinge of guilt briefly passed through him for betting on Ethan showing up, and, like Ethan, he couldn’t be more ready for 4:30.

It was pouring rain when Ethan left the clinic. He walked the two blocks to his car, wishing he’d brought his jacket instead of his hoodie – he was soaked. “HahShoo!” He sneezed freely, aiming it towards the ground, as he unlocked his car. It was a slow drive home…the rain and an accident on the freeway slowed traffic, doubling his commute time. Ethan, drenched, shivered and sneezed the entire drive home.

At the apartment, Tim was beginning to fret. Ethan was typically home by now. He reached for his phone to try calling, when he heard the door open, followed by a loud “Ahshoo!” announcing Ethan’s presence.

He looked over to see Ethan, wiping his nose on a wad of rain drenched tissues. Ethan was soaked from head to toe. Tim grabbed the box of tissues, handed it to Ethan, taking the useless wad of tissues from his hand.

Ethan took fresh tissues and blew his nose. He looked up at Tim, shivering.

“You’re drenched.” Tim stated the obvious.

“It’s pouring rain.” As did Ethan.

“Go get out of those wet things. Take a hot shower before you make your cold worse. I’ll have soup ready when you’re done.”

Ethan nodded, swiping at his nose with the tissue. His sinuses were still blocked, but the chill had caused it to start dripping. He grabbed clean joggers and a sweatshirt, then slipped into the shower.

Tim began heating the chicken soup he had made earlier. He could hear Ethan sneeze from the shower and winced. He definitely sounded worse than when he’d left this morning.

20 minutes later, Ethan was out of the shower and in dry clothes, making his way to the kitchen. Tim set a bowl of soup before him. “This should finish warming you up.”

Ethan ate the soup, beginning to look drowsy.

“You’re worn out.” Tim commented gently.

Ethan clapped his napkin to his nose. “Hatshoo! Yeah.” He slowly admitted, shivering.

“And still chilled. I know it’s just after 7…but…”

“Laying down sounds nice.”

“We can watch a movie in bed. Maybe take the NyQuil early…I’ll wake you for your snack.”

Ethan nodded, coughing as Tim placed his bowl in the sink. “Go. I’ll be right there.”

Ethan was under the covers when Tim came in carrying an extra blanket and the thermometer. He dropped the blanket over Ethan and scanned the thermometer across his forehead. “99.6.” He sighed. “I told you you’d make your cold worse. If you leave this bed this weekend, it’s for the couch.”

“Ahshoo!” Ethan smothered another harsh sneeze into a tissue.

“Bless you. You want to watch your favorite?”

Ethan shrugged, yawning. Tim found “Jurassic Park” in their video library and put it on, laying next to Ethan, relaxing as Ethan’s sneezing grew sleepier and less frequent until it was replaced by congested snores.

[mymelodyheart]

Highland Destiny Chapter 8 ~The Ball~

He couldn't wait till nightfall, so Jamie carried Claire to the bedroom. Her legs were firmly around his waist, as she gingerly loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. Freed, at last, her hands slipped inside, sliding gently from his chest to the sinewy flesh of his shoulders before clasping it behind his neck. In slow motion, she leaned forward, and closing her eyes, she caressed his mouth with her own. He let out a weak gasp and felt his breathing become shallow, as feather-like kisses tickled his lips.  Dhia!  Pulling away, she met his gaze with a smile as he steered them towards the bed. But before he can lay her down, Claire released her hold and slid down his body with deliberate slowness, and with one sudden movement, she whipped off her shirt. Naked, she took a step closer, slipping his tie off from his head to put it around her neck while Jamie's eyes wandered down to her bare breast, fixated at its gentle rise and fall. Leaning forward, Claire stripped his top off from his shoulders, while her tongue grazed the hollow of his chest, sampling his saltiness. Jamie made growling sounds and reached out to grab her, but she stopped him.

"Sssh, stand still soldier, what's the rush," she said huskily.

"Christ Sassenach, ye'll be the death of me," he hissed.

She paused. "Is that so? Do you want me to stop?" she teased, her hands slipping under the waistband of his trousers, resting on the lower part of his navel.

Jamie could only shake his head, unable to utter a word.  She'll pay dearly for this.

He watched her unbuckle his belt and unzip his fly, his heart hammering as his cock strained to be released. With an excruciatingly slow movement, Claire pushed all the way down the last remnants of his clothing. "Please, Claire..." his voice ragged as he pleaded.

"Please what, Jaime?" she taunted as her hands skimmed his thighs, her breath warm against his throbbing cock.

"Kiss me..."

"Like this?" She took him fully in her mouth, grazing his length with her teeth before flicking her tongue at the sensitive tip. She licked and sucked, as her hand cupped his balls and the other dug into his thighs.

Jaime couldn't take it anymore. In rapid progression, he kicked off his pants and carried her to bed, settling her on top of him as he leaned back against the headboard. She giggled as his impatient hands roamed her sides. He pulled her down by the neck for a punishing kiss, ravenously thrusting his tongue, teasing and probing until her body melded into his in surrender, faint moans escaping her lips. He smiled in her mouth as she writhed against him, her fingernails digging hard on his shoulders. Finally yielding to her whimpering pleas, Jamie raised her hips and lowered her to his hardness, both letting out a gasp of euphoric pleasure.

"Oh, Jamie..." she whispered, her hips moving rhythmically to his thrusting.

Jamie couldn't help but watch her in awe as she took her own pleasure, with her back arched and his tie between her breasts.  Christ, she's so beautiful!   Her breasts were perfect rounds, white as milk and her nipples were like cherries that puckered as his hands reached out for them. She clenched around him, making him groan and tighten his hold on her hips, her movements becoming faster and his breathing harder. On the brink, Jamie leaned forward and pulled her to him, sucking hard at her breast, his thumb rubbing her sweet spot in rapid motion, turning her soft moans into a high pitch cry. She shuddered as her body began to convulse and with a guttural groan, he exploded into her, shooting up his hot seed. "Oh God Claire..." he whispered over and over again, as he cradled her, his face buried between her breasts.  Oh, God, Claire, I love you.

..........

"Welcome home again, soldier," Claire whispered, her head resting on the crook of his shoulder, their bodies entangled, slick with sweat.

Jamie smiled. "Indeed a verra nice welcome, Sassenach, but I dinna think I could leave ye again. It was torture. All I could think of while in Paris is ye. It's verra true what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder." He turned to face her, his finger caressing her breast.

She laughed. "More like, abstinence makes you go firmer. So tell me, how was Paris?"

"Och, speaking of Paris, I have something for ye. Hang on, let me get it." Jamie quickly got out of bed.

Intrigued, Claire watched him leave the room, admiring his graceful movements and his naked body, beautifully sculpted from hours spent in the gym. He came back with a small gift bag. "Oh, you got me a souvenir?"

He grinned boyishly, his eagerness tugging at her heartstrings. "Weel, it's just a wee gift. I hope ye like it," he said, handing her the present.

She sat up to inspect the bag and gasped. "Jamie, this is a jewellery box!"

"Aye, I ken. Open it..." Jamie's face lit in anticipation.

Claire took out the box, her hands trembling slightly. "Oh, Jamie, it's very thoughtful of you. Really, you shouldn't have." Inscribed on a very expensive looking case, she read Van Cleef & Arpels. She knew they were from a French luxury jewellery maker. Wide-eyed, she looked at Jamie before slowly opening it. Inside the box was a beautiful rose gold band bracelet adorned with three clover motifs, each embedded with tiny diamonds. Claire was speechless.

Jamie looked at Claire apprehensively waiting in suspense.

She lifted the bracelet to the light and inside she saw an engraving. She read it aloud. " Da mi basia mille ...give me a thousand kisses." She swallowed a lump forming in her throat, and when she could finally speak, she said softly, "Jamie, this is beautiful, I don't know what to say, except maybe I will give you a thousand more..."

"But Sassenach, do ye like it?" he asked nervously.

She reached out and stroked his face. "Jamie, I love it. I really do," she said before leaning forward for a kiss. 

His face beaming, he took the bracelet from her. "Here Sassenach, let me put this on ye." As he put the band on her wrist, he explained, "See, these clovers, that's for luck, and there are three...weel..." Jamie's face turned red. "Weel, three is a lucky number."

"Oh Jaime, I really love it, I really do. Thank you so much. But this must have cost you a fortune. Really, a box of French chocolate truffles would have sufficed." She said jokingly as she stretched her arms out to admire the rose gold band. "It's absolutely stunning. I will cherish this forever."

"Ye're worth it Sassenach." Smiling, Jamie took her hand and kissed the inside of her palm.  And I will cherish you too.  He then gathered her into his arms, holding her tight to his heart.

.........

"Joe, I have a favour to ask you," Claire asked her best friend, Joe Abernathy, as they sat eating lunch at the Northern Royal Infirmary cafeteria during their break.

"Mmm, what is it, LJ?" She smiled, hearing the nickname he used for her. LJ stood for Lady Jane, and that had been Claire's nickname used by Joe ever since their medical school days.

"Well, this is going to sound unusual, but I need your honest opinion. In fact, a male's honest opinion."

"Hmm, where is this going? I've always given you my honest opinion LJ," he said in-between bites of his Lasagna.

"Ok, I don't want you to be shocked, but you're the only male person I know I could ask..."

"Spit it out, Lady Jane, my break is almost over," he said exasperatedly.

"Right, here goes. Honest opinion remember? How attractive do you reckon I am, from a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest? Forget about our 10 years of friendship...I need you to see me in the eyes of a hot-blooded male." Claire blurted out, cringing.

Joe almost sputtered his beverage. "Goodness, I didn't see that one coming..."

"Joe, please this is already embarrassing. Help me out, please. And while you're at it, you can also tell me what my best assets are," Claire pleaded.

Wiping his mouth with a napkin, he looked her over. "So, I can say anything, and you will not be offended?" He was looking at her nervously.

Claire nodded.

"Well, here goes nothing LJ. I think you have ....erm...one fine piece of ass, an incredible body and your face well.....it's out of this world. You are a stunning woman. As for your best asset, well, it's your ass and your eyes...gorgeous golden syrup eyes. There you go... I thought you would have known that."Joe paused. "Wait a minute, has this anything to do with Jamie?"

"Yes, it's about Jamie." She sighed. "I told you all about him, and I've seen photos of him on the internet with different gorgeous women. How can I compete with that? And Jamie, well, he's the type of guy women throw themselves at. It's not even funny. And..."

"Whoa, stop right there, LJ! You really have no idea, do you? You're one of the most attractive looking women I know...well after Gail of course," he paused coughing, as he thought of his girlfriend. " And I've only met Jaime once, and yeah he's a probably a nice looking bloke but one thing for sure, that time I met him, he sure does look like one love-sick puppy around you."

"You reckon?" Claire asked, still not convinced.

Joe rolled his eyes and stood up. "Right LJ, therapy is over. Got to go. I will see you lovebirds at the ball on Saturday. " He then pulled her to her feet and gave her a hug. " Don't worry LJ. In my honest opinion, I think Jamie is head over heels in love with you..."

..........

The days leading to the much-talked-about charity ball was hectic. Besides Claire's day job, there were other tasks at hand that needed her attention. For one thing, uncle Lamb's cottage desperately needed to be ushered into the 21st century. Although antique appliances have its charms, it made modern living difficult. She had arranged all electrical wires to be rewired and the ancient furnace replaced with something more energy-efficient. Grateful for Jamie's insistence on helping and organising, Claire managed to squeeze in a meeting with the Randall family lawyers: London based, William Tyron and Paris based, Hugo Raymond, also known in his inner circle as Master Raymond.

Master Raymond had proven to be quite a revelation and not to say the least, quite a character. During introductions, he had made a courtly bow, taking her hand for a kiss, as if she was royalty. "Aaah Madonna, the elusive Madame Frank Randall," he announced quite flamboyantly at their private meeting. "It's a pleasure and honour to finally meet you...such beauty you possess would bring the goddess Aphrodite to tears."  

Claire had thought at the time she was in some kind of "hidden-camera" TV show after being introduced to Master Raymond, but, as it turned out, the meeting with the lawyers had proven to be mind-blowing if not shocking. And even more so the story she had been told of Frank's deceased father, Jonathan Edward Randall and his connection with the French businessman, Frédéric de Marillac and Jared Fraser. There was so many information to digest, and Claire felt that the whirlwind she was caught up in, was not letting up anytime soon. She knew she had to speak to Jaime, but with her ever-changing shifts and mounting tasks, it was an almost impossible feat to have a moment with him.

As she had been too preoccupied with Frank's papers, documents and the lawyers, Claire didn't give the upcoming ball much thought. She had intended to go for one afternoon to buy a dress for the event, but Geillis, also attending the ball, had "better" ideas. She had dragged Claire to visit her fashion designer student cousin, Georgina, to try on some of her creations. To her surprise, after seeing and trying-on the arrays of gowns and dresses on display in Georgina's apartment, they were quite impressive.

Much to the delight of Georgina, Claire fitted in almost all of her evening wear collection. "Och Claire, ye should be a model...all these dresses look fab on ye," the young designer gushed.

Although she wasn't the type to "doll-up," Claire couldn't help but admire her reflection in the mirror. Twirling and sashaying to the amusement of the girls, she was amazed at how one dress can alter the way she looks. She had to agree, some of the gowns she had tried on seemed like specially made for her. But there was one particular gown that Geillis and Georgina thought would suit Claire best and they made her try it on.

"Oh no, I can't wear that! Good grief, it's showing too much skin," Claire said vehemently. "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! My boobs are about to pop out in this."

Geillis was getting excited by the minute. "Och, Claire, it's nae showin' too much skin. It's a strapless gown, for Christ sake! An' ye look absolutely gorgeous. Jamie will hae a heart attack when he sees ye in this."

"Claire, trust me, ye look amazing," Georgina piped in. "That dress was so made for ye. I dinna ken anyone who can carry it the way ye do. So please say yes. It's perfect!" 

"Oh, I don't know. It looks way over the top..." Claire argued. Turning once more to the mirror, she inspected herself one more time, and she realised the gown fitted her like a glove, and it clung to all the right places. Even her bum looked terrific in the dress, she must admit. "Alright, fine! I'll take it! How much do I owe you, Georgina?"

"Och, it's on the house for ye, Claire. I will only need a nice photo of you in that dress and if anyone asked who designed it, give them my card," Georgina answered happily, giving her a stack of business cards.

Happy the mission was accomplished with aplomb, the girls splurged on some new shoes and evening clutch bags, on the way home. To Claire's relief, Geillis offered to help with her make-up for Saturday's event in exchange for a lift to the ball. Although thrilled with the dress, Claire wondered if Jamie would like it too.

..........

It was the day of the ball, and surprisingly for Claire, she felt the mounting excitement building up, even if she hadn't given it much thought all week. She was looking forward to seeing Achnagairn Castle Hotel, where the venue of the Charity Ball would be held, and spending some quality time with Jaime. Having seen little of each other that week, especially with Claire's night shifts, enjoying the ball with him would be a welcome change. Since Frisealach was hosting the event, Jamie had been busy with its organisation and other work in the office. With not enough time in the day, they had agreed to meet at the castle and arranged for Joe to pick her and Geillis up from the cottage.

Finally, all dressed up, Claire stepped in front of her bedroom mirror and inspected her reflection from head to toe. She didn't recognise herself. Instead, she saw an image of a statuesque woman dressed in a strapless fitted red gown that clung to her curves. It had a skin-baring panel down her midriff with silk-bow-detailing joining the two sides. Cinched at the waist, the fabric highlighted her ample breast and curve of her hips before skimming her frame to the floor. Wearing red strappy high heels, it made her taller by 5 inches, adding more to her 5'7 height. Her hair was loosely pulled up with invisible pins, strands of cascading curls framing her perfectly made-up face. The clever blending of the dark eye shadows made the colour of her eyes dramatic and the colour translucent like liquid gold. To finish it off, her lips were done in nude shades. The only accessories she wore were a pair of simple diamond studs given to her by Frank, and the rose gold band on her wrist from Jamie. 

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, who is that woman?

"Claire, are ye ready?" The door opened, and Geillis stepped in. "Och my God, Claire, look at ye. Ye look like a movie star!"

Claire turned around and smiled at her friend. She was wearing a strapless duck-egg blue ballgown with a ruched fitted bodice and a voluminous skirt, and her silken red hair was pulled back in a chignon. "And you, my friend look drop-dead gorgeous!"

Geillis laughed as she twirled Claire around to get a better look. "Weel, weel, we both hae scrubbed up weel, havna we? Now, let's go an' surprise that man of yours. Joe an' Gail are waitin' outside."

Claire grabbed her black cape coat, and arm in arm with Geillis headed outside to Joe's waiting car.

..........

When they finally arrived at Achnagairn Castle Hotel, Claire had to take a moment to soak in the surrounding before going in. It was stunningly beautiful, and the many lights on the lush grounds of the estate created a magical and romantic atmosphere. It was indeed a white fairytale castle of the highlands, she thought. 

Once inside, she was captivated with the intimate ambience and warmth. It wasn't anything like a modern plush five-star hotel - it was more like a hall from medieval times, where the king's and queen's men gathered. There was a high vaulted ornate wooden ceiling, and surrounding the ballroom, there was an upstairs-gallery lined with oak bannisters. There were fairy lights everywhere, climbing green plants that decorated the columns and the air smelled of wildflowers. The hall was buzzing with activities; people laughing, waiters serving drinks, highland music playing softly in the background, glasses clinking, men dressed in traditional kilt and women in their glamorous gowns talking. It was truly magical.

"Claire, your coat please?" It was Joe, smiling at her. She wondered how long she stood there, gawping.

"Oh, yes, please, thank you." So entranced she was, she was oblivious of the admiring glances cast her way.

Geillis leaning close, whispered, "They're aw starin' at ye Claire, you're the belle of the ball tonight, hen."

"Oh!" She looked around, and sure enough, there were a lot of curious stares. This made her suddenly conscious of her dress, but it was too late to retrieve her coat. To add to her horror, most of the women were wearing gowns in either black or nude shades.  Oh fuck, now I'm standing out like a sore thumb in this red dress!   "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, I need a stiff one..." she muttered.

"Plenty of that here, come on," Geillis said as she led her through the crowd.

With a whisky in hand, she took three successive swallows to calm her nerves. She was scanning the room when she saw Jamie walking purposely towards her, his eyes intent never straying even when he stopped to greet a guest. It seemed the crowd was parting as he made his way. Maybe it's because of his height and breadth or perhaps because they knew Jamie was the owner of Frisealach. Her heart skipped a bit as he came closer as she saw him in his full highland regalia. Jamie looked resplendent in his tartan kilt, crimson with thick navy and green stripes. Under the belted plaid, he wore a white shirt that puffed at the sleeves, and his hips were ornamented with the traditional sporran. Instead of wearing the usual white kilt hose, he wore black woollen socks underneath a pair of heavy black boots. His wavy red-gold hair was brushed back, the locks curling at the nape of his neck, making the picture complete.  Damn, my bloody Scot is one handsome devil!

Claire could see his eyes roaming up and down her body, his face expressionless.  Oh, sweet Jesus, he doesn't like it!  

"Sassenach!" Jamie took her in his arms and kissed her. She heard a hush in the nearby crowd.

Embarrassed, Claire pinched him on the arm. "Jamie, people are watching!"

"I dinna care, Sassenach, let them watch and talk," he said, his face breaking into a grin. Then his eyes turned a darker cast as he looked into her eyes. "Christ Claire, ye're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I want to..." Jamie stopped midsentence as he looked down at her cleavage. He took a step back noticing the bare midriff on display. "Sassenach! I can see down ye're navel and that bow disna look it's going to hauld yer tits.." his accent was getting broader by the second. "Nae wonder all the laddies are staring at ye...here have my plaid...it has red colours, it will suit yer dress." 

"Jamie! I will do no such thing. There's plenty of cleavages around on the show, why should I cover mine?"

"Sassenach, I can almost see yer belly button! It's a verra pretty dress but..."

Someone cleared their throat. "Good evening, Jamie! Aren't ye going to introduce me to yer friend?"

Claire looked up and was astounded to see a handsome elderly man. He was as big as Jamie and had the same facial features, except his eyes, they were steely grey. She noticed how Jamie stiffened, obviously not too pleased to see him.

"Uncle! I didna expect ye to be here..."

"Weel, Jamie lad, I'm here to support a great cause, so why should I not be here?" Turning to Claire, he took her hand and kissed it. "I'm Dougal, Dougal Mckenzie, Jamie's uncle. It's always a pleasure to meet a beautiful woman such as ye." His eyes travelled downward and appreciating what he saw, he gave her a wink.

Before Claire could respond, Jamie was already steering her away. "Have a lovely evening, uncle!"

Out of earshot, Claire exclaimed. "How rude Jamie!"

"Forget about him Sassenach. He likes to chase after young lassies even if Aunt Maura is around. Stay away from him," he explained impatiently. "Listen, Sassenach, we need to talk. There are things I need to tell ye before I go up that podium. I've been meaning to speak to ye this week, but ye've been very busy. Things I should have told ye..."

Claire smiled. "Jamie, it's alright. I have some things to tell you too that are important, but I think it can wait another night. Let's enjoy this evening, shall we?" She had noticed Jamie's agitation when a photographer from the press took a picture of them.

"Aye Sassenach but this is important. It's kinda a surprise, but I think ye'll be mad at me. Anyway, I have booked for us a room here for tonight, so we can have a moment..."

"Bonsoir Monsieur Fraser! Finally! I've been looking for you!" A lean French man in his fifties with spectacles came forward extending his hand.

Jamie looked stunned, but not in a good way. He was looking past the French man. "Monsieur De Marillac!"

Before Jamie could be rude again, Claire extended a hand and introduced herself. "Bonsoir Monsieur! My name is Claire.."

Frédéric De Marillac turned and smiled warmly at Claire, bowing his head. "Quel plaisir, Madame. My name is Frédéric, and this is my..." Before he could continue, a beautiful tall, blonde woman in plunging silver sequenced gown, stepped forward. Smiling dazzlingly, she introduced herself. "Hello, I'm Annalise..." Then to Claire's surprise, she went to Jamie's side, and she watched as her arms wrapped around his waist and kissed him on the mouth. Jamie looked too stunned to react. Finishing her sentence from where she left off, she announced, "I'm Jaime's fiancee." 

Just after Annalise's not so subtle announcement, the photographer caught up and immediately started taking pictures. People nearby that overheard began to extend their congratulations, and soon the news spread like wildfire as the crowd thronged closer. Claire couldn't move, she couldn't breathe. People started to shove, and she was being pushed away as more came forward. Amongst the cheers and shouts, she heard Jamie shout, "Sassenach!" But it seemed like from a distance, and it was fading, as she was pushed back even more. The room began to spin, and the air became thin. It felt like her heart was being pierced, over and over again and Claire thought, if it didn't stop, it would implode.

Suddenly she was a child again, looking down at the narrow streets of Pamplona. She was with uncle Lamb, and prior, he had forbidden her from stepping into the balcony. But she couldn't help but be drawn to the commotion outside. She could hear the thunder of hooves, running, frantic cries, panics, cheers, a mass stampede. Her heart was beating faster and faster...she had to take a peek. As she took a step outside, she was in time to see a man tossed in the air by a raging bull, his shirt soaked with blood where the horns have impaled him. The maddened beast didn't stop there...it became a ceaseless enraged goring on the lifeless body, over and over again. She wondered then what it would have been like for the unfortunate soul to be gored repeatedly. 

That night, she understood.

[satonthelotuspier]

I'm seeing prompts on your site and does that mean you are accepting them right now? I've never requested a prompt before and I don't know what to do? But if I'm doing it right I'd really like to see 13 for XueXiao from the bodyguard au prompt list? Fluffy or angsty, as you please. Am I doing this right?

OK so Im being obvious, but this contains XueXiao.

Modern Bodyguard AU so none of the complications of canon apply.

Now the disclaimers are out of the way, I have to apologise to the very patient @amaskinamirror bc this took so much longer to write than I expected. The reason being most of my prompt fics end up around the 1k-1.4k word mark and this kept going and kept going because there was a story there. It came in around the 4.5k work mark. Think of it as added value, unless you hate it in which case it’s not ;)

Pompts from this post here

Part 2 now available here

Xue Yang is the enfant terrible of the music world and his manager has pretty much had enough of his shitty behaviour. Features a thorny Xue Yang shaped by the worlds opinions of him, and a hardass yet caring Xiao Xingchen who maybe might just start to see beyond the lies.

Possible triggers/warnings: Also features swearing, man-handling, use of a date rape drug, minor injury and blood. Luckily XXC is there to save the day in all situations.

Xue Yang was woken up from a deep, no doubt alcohol-induced, sleep to the feeling of cold water being splashed in his face.

He shot upright coughing and spluttering and wiping water out of his eyes, trying to process what the hell had happened. The unconscious bodies around him all started to stir and groan back to lucidity.

Xue Yang followed the long line of the leg in front of him up to eventually meet a pair of dark eyes staring down at him without expression.

“What the fuck?” he demanded and tried to get up but someone he didn’t even remember the name of was laid across his legs.

It had been another party. One where they’d drunk hard and passed out before dawn some time; he didn’t know half the people here. That had never stopped him. Being the enfant terrible of the music industry took both time, effort and commitment.

The tall man bent down to extricate him, then yanked him to his feet.

“You have rehearsals in ninety minutes. Get showered, you smell like a brewery” a garment bag was pushed into his hands then he was waved in the direction of the hotel suite’s bathroom.

“Excuse me, but just who the fuck are you?” honestly his head felt a little woolly still from the after-effect of the alcohol he’d been drinking, but he was sure he didn’t know who this man was or what he was doing in his hotel suite.

“Your Fairy Godmother, Cinderella, now go get a shower, you’re wasting time”

Xue Yang grabbed hold of the collar of his jacket, “Don’t bullshit me”

The hand that clamped around his wrist was steel-like, “Your new security. Your manager sends his regards. I won’t tell you to go and shower again”

“Firstly, if you are security you are not my boss, so you can stop with the ordering me around like I’m your little bitch, secondly, you are my security? I’m sure if a duckling gets too close you’ll do a great job, otherwise…” he was going to push the other away, sure because of his willowy frame it would be easy. Quite how he ended up in an armlock and being dragged to the bathroom he didn’t know. He bit his tongue to stifle the cry of pain; no way would he utter the noise aloud. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” he snarled as the other kept going into the bathroom.

“I’ve already explained. I’m not going to repeat myself” the man opened the shower door, pushed Xue Yang into the cubicle and pushed the on button.

Of course Xue Yang never learned his lesson; he launched himself at the other only to bounce off the cubicle door as the other shut it behind him, holding it closed.

“New world order, xiao-Xue, get used to being my little bitch” the other grinned as Xue Yang punched the glass then yelled at the pain in his hand, “Clean up, I don’t want to be forced to come in there and clean you up myself”

***

Xue Yang curled himself up as small as possible on the back seat of the car; he was in high sulk. After calling his manager to demand an explanation of what was going on Jin Guangyao had told him in no uncertain terms he’d better get used to the idea of Xiao Xingchen being around. His new security was not only there to provide for his personal safety after a spate of disturbing mail (more disturbing than the usual run of the mill threats at least), but to whip him into some kind of shape as Jin Guangyao was convinced his terrible behaviour, bad reputation and general personality was about to lose them some very large contracts.

Everyone loved a bad boy in theory, but when it began to affect his ability to make his management company money then they were definitely going to act to protect their asset.

And that had come in the form of Xiao Xingchen, who looked as gentle and fragile as an orchid but who had already handed Xue Yang his ass once today already.

“A-Qing, I need breakfast” Xue Yang whined at his assistant as his stomach rumbled for the fourth time.

“You shouldn’t have upset the new bodyguard then” she mocked him quietly, and he retreated even more, pulling the hood of his jacket up and wrapping his arms around his knees as A-Qing took pity on him and leaned forward to ask the driver to stop at a nearby coffee shop.

They did, and A-Qing and the driver returned with coffees for all and a bag full of muffins.

Lao-Xia, the driver, and A-Qing had been with Xue Yang long enough to not meet his gaze as they started on their own food; Xiao Xingchen had no such warning; he was too busy goggling at Xue Yang who had made his own muffin disappear like a magician with a rabbit.

“Are you going to eat that?” Xue Yang asked, pointing at the baked bun in Xiao Xingchen’s hand.

He simply offered it over; perhaps surprised at the demonstration of the speed at which a muffin could be demolished without trace.

The second one followed the first in quick order and Xue Yang froze as the other reached  over to brush the crumbs that had stuck to the corner of his mouth away with a thumb.

“You don’t want the Paparazzi to catch that” he said simply before turning in his seat to look out of the windscreen and sip at his coffee.

Xue Yang curled back in on himself and held his ridiculously sweet iced coffee to his chest.

“You eat too much sugar” Xiao Xingchen told him as Lao-Xia started the car and set off driving to the studio, “You need something to give you energy for the first meal of the day”

“Good luck with that, he functions on pure sugar and supplements” A-Qing mocked and Xue Yang shot her an annoyed look.

***

Xue Yang didn’t know why he was surprised the next morning when he was awoken by a solid shake to the shoulder.

He hadn’t been able to avoid the other to sneak off to party last night so he wasn’t hung over but that didn’t mean he was any more amenable to the idea of waking up.

“Come on Sleeping Beauty, you have to be at your first interview in an hour”

Interviews. His mortal enemy. The thing he hated most in the world. And he was still no better at dealing with them than he had been as a fresh face on the music scene, where the press had crucified him, thrown every painful fact of his past in his face and then painted him as a troubled bad boy with a temper; a role he’d eventually just given up fighting against and embraced.

He threw the blankets over his head; maybe if he just went back to sleep the interview would disappear.

The blankets were thrown back.

“Dude, what the fuck?” he demanded, was he allowed no privacy at all anymore?

“Get up” Xiao Xingchen jerked his head towards the bathroom.

“Fuck off. I’m not going” he reached out to push the other away.

It went about as well as yesterday had for him; he ended up face down on the bed with his arm locked up between his shoulder blades.

“Are you going to learn any time soon? I mean, kudos for persistence but lose points for stupidity. Now, last chance to get up on your own, otherwise I’ll throw you over my shoulder and you can go dressed like that”

Xue Yang wasn’t sure he believed the other was strong enough to actually carry him out of the hotel room, but he daren’t take the chance he might be dragged out kicking and screaming and dressed in his ratty old t-shirt and shorts.

“Fine, yes, I’m getting up. Let me go, please” as a street child he’d learned to beg prettily and it wasn’t a skill he was averse to using if he needed to, to survive. It didn’t need to be sincere, it just needed to sound it, to be calculated to pull on the other’s heart strings.

It didn’t seem to affect Xiao Xingchen, but he was released nonetheless.

***

Xue Yang of course arrived on time for his first interview, (there were three in total scheduled for today), as far as they went it wasn’t particularly gruelling for him, but he was fully aware he was a mess by the end of it; he’d probably come across like he was on drugs, but it wasn’t like that would be the first, second or third time the rumour would circulate in relation to him.

He knew Xiao Xingchen eyed him in consideration, but he ignored it; he didn’t have the presence of mind to survive the next two interviews and worry about what his new security agent was judging him for today.

He was much worse by the end of the second; he had been left alone a sitting room of the hotel the interview’s had been arranged at and he lowered his head into his hands, trying to even out his breathing and calm himself. His professionalism would be questioned even further if he failed to complete the last interview, or screwed up during it.

He felt the couch dip next to him, “Here” he looked up, poison on his tongue ready to be spit at Xiao Xingchen when he realised the other held out one of those large chocolate chip cookies in a napkin. There was also iced coffee sat on the table in front of him.

“Just relax, empty your head, and focus on the cookie” Xiao Xingchen informed him; raising an eyebrow as Xue Yang didn’t immediately accept the confectionery from him.

He took it with tentative thanks; and it vanished almost immediately once he’d decided to accept the gesture. Once he’d gotten the sugary coffee inside him too he felt much better.

***

Despite his trash reputation he wasn’t late for a single appointment over the next weeks; Jin Guangyao assured him it was perfectly alright to project the rebel for the masses but when you played the brat with the people in the business you’d soon be blacklisted; a risk he wasn’t willing to take with Xue Yang.

Xue Yang hadn’t managed to get near alcohol or a party in that time due to Xiao Xingchen’s hawk eyes and iron control.

Since the second morning though instead of being woken up with a bucket of water to the face or bickering the other had started showing up with a sweet pastry and a staggeringly sugary iced coffee which he traded off for Xue Yang eating better at other mealtimes.

Overall it didn’t seem Xue Yang had a moment of time where the other wasn’t somewhere close, controlling everything, keeping a watchful eye out.

And it bothered Xue Yang; he didn’t get used to the feeling of Xiao Xingchen being there like he’d been assured he would. He was still hyper aware of him, and he didn’t necessarily think it was because he was intimidated, despite the fact they’d had a few more altercations, none of which ended well for Xue Yang.

***

He tried to ditch his new security for his monthly visit to the orphanage his charity had built and ran; the less people who knew about it the better. Of course he couldn’t shake the other off so he had to attend followed by Xiao Xingchen, and explain to the children who the tall ge was. He was a great hit with them, and although Xue Yang pretended to be annoyed at Xiao Xingchen getting all the attention that the youngsters usually showered on him secretly he was entertained as he watched the other romp with the rough kids, or play softly with the quieter ones.

“This is the first time you’ve brought a bodyguard” he turned slightly at the sound of Tian Ying, the matron of the orphanage and the woman who’d helped bring him up in a similar institution when he had been a boy had come up beside him. “Are you in danger, xiao-Xue?”

“Of course not” he didn’t consider the crazy mail Jin Guangyao was filtering from him any more of a threat than any of the other mail he’d received in the last few years, and he definitely didn’t want her to worry about him, “They just decided I needed someone to carry my bags for me”

He didn’t have time to say much more as he was dragged into an impromptu game of football in the yard, where he and Xiao Xingchen were on opposite teams.

They played around half-heartedly until a Xiao Xingchen who was grace incarnate except apparently on a football pitch, stuck his foot out and took Xue Yang’s feet from under him and he tumbled. The fall itself wasn’t bad but he was a little grazed as they played on the yard and not grass.

Xiao Xingchen was unusually all apologies and personally saw to tending the grazes Xue Yang��s tumble had caused, despite his assurances he was absolutely fine. The touch of the other still made his pulse flutter in some odd emotion and the way Xiao Xingchen kept glancing up at him, like he’d discovered a rare and new species, was disconcerting. And pissed him off, because he could guess what it was about.

“Just don’t” he said through his teeth so no one around them could hear.

“Don’t what? Congratulate you on what you’ve built here? On what you’re doing for these kids?”

“Yes, don’t. I don’t want to hear it” he sucked a breath in at the sting of the antiseptic where Xiao Xingchen applied it to his grazes.

“Alright, whatever you want” Xiao Xingchen let it drop but he still looked at Xue Yang with something approaching admiration in his eyes.

And it was addictive, to have someone look at him like that, and not like he was trash. But then it had never bothered him before. Was it purely because it was Xiao Xingchen and he wanted to be more than trash in that man’s eyes?

“I guess you read too many gossip rags” Xue Yang sniped, “I’m not on drugs, in any weird cults, or a complete slut either”

Instead of bullshitting him and denying he’d thought anything of the kind Xiao Xingchen agreed instead, “I’m beginning to see that. Of course that doesn’t mean you don’t have a vile temper, that you don’t ever learn your lessons, or that you don’t sulk like a baby when I tell you no”

He was about to make one of his usual responses when the game of football moved closer and he clamped his lips closed on the curse.

There was a knowing, teasing look in the other’s eyes and as Xue Yang looked down into that finely-boned face he realised why the other’s good opinion had meant so much to him; why he was on tenterhooks whenever Xiao Xingchen was near, which was all the time at the moment, and why his pulse fluttered like his veins were full of butterflies whenever the other touched him. He was in love with Xiao Xingchen.

Well fuck.

***

Xue Yang paced around his hotel bedroom, feeling like a caged tiger. He wanted to destroy something. No, he really wanted a stiff drink.

Was he a masochist? What had made him fall in love with a man who knocked him around for fun? No of course that was unfair, Xiao Xingchen only ever restrained him and only when Xue Yang attacked first. Still, it must definitely be masochism.

Or Stockholm Syndrome; he had been at the mercy of the other, a virtual prisoner, for weeks now.

“I need a drink” he exclaimed aloud; and so he formulated a plan.

He took a quick shower and changed into something black and sexy and flashy, then he he called reception and asked for a taxi cab, and that they ring up to let him know when it had arrived.

He waited by his bedroom door, peeping through the tiniest opening for the phone to ring back; and as Xiao Xingchen got up from the couch to answer it he dashed out and past as silently as possible to give himself as much of a head-start as he could manage.

The doors of the elevator were closing just as he saw Xiao Xingchen enter the hallway and yell at him in rage.

He was in the taxi and away; his freedom all the sweeter for being carefully wrought.

***

Xue Yang was beginning to feel pleasantly buzzed and he was chatting quite happily with the guy who stood next to him at the bar of the VIP lounge. He’d been greeted by the usual crowd who hadn’t seen him around for the weeks he’d been kept prisoner, (OK maybe that was a little dramatic), but he’d never seen this guy before and new people were interesting.

Although he was beginning to get uncomfortable at how the other stared at him intently after he’d finished his drink.

He excused himself to “visit the bathroom” when life finally caught up with him. Life of course being Xiao Xingchen.

He pushed Xue Yang up against the wall of the corridor to the bathrooms, which was surprisingly currently empty.

“Hey” Xue Yang protested, although with alcohol relaxing his muscles it hadn’t really hurt as he hadn’t tensed for impact. Actually being pinned against the wall by the man you’d fallen in love with was quite nice. He had zero experience, bar some awkward kisses with a girl who’d known as little as him when he was younger, but apparently being manhandled was beginning to be something he enjoyed. Maybe because it was Xiao Xingchen though.

“I’d advise you to keep really quiet, I’m this close to spanking the living hell out of you” and really he’d never seen Xiao Xingchen’s deceptively delicate face so twisted in anger.

But of course alcohol impaired one’s judgement; to dangerous levels sometimes.

“Is that what you like?” he asked.

“What?” Xiao Xingchen was confused, his hand tightened on Xue Yang’s collar as if he suspected the other was planning something.

“Spanking, do you get off on it?”

“You really have no fucking self-preservation instincts do you?” Xiao Xingchen demanded and if Xue Yang hadn’t been so muddled due to the reaction of his body to the other, and the alcohol humming through his bloodstream he might have realised how much trouble he was in; he had never heard the other curse before in all their weeks together.

Instead he gave in to the urge pounding at the base of his brain, unable to control it anymore. He threw his arms around Xiao Xingchen’s neck and kissed him.

Well, it was clumsy and unskilled, but it probably still counted as a kiss.

He was pushed back against the wall unceremoniously, “What do you think you’re doing? You are my client. You are drunk. You are so out of line right now”

Of course he hadn’t really expected a different response. He somehow managed to pull himself free and stumbled back out into the VIP lounge.

Actually he seemed to be more drunk than he’d realised. He was suddenly barely able to control his body and he felt like his head was full of cotton wool. A hand touched his back, “Oh, you look terrible. Do you need to lie down? Should we get you out of here?” he was vaguely aware the voice wasn’t Xiao Xingchen’s, it belonged to the guy he’d been talking to at the bar, as he was guided towards the door but he really did need to lie down right now. He was about to nod his agreement when the supporting hand was violently removed.

“What the fuck did you give him?” that was Xiao Xingchen, although he couldn’t work out what the question meant. He felt the iron-grip of his security’s hand and he was pulled close to the other; he recognised the familiar scent of his aftershave and it set his mind at rest.

***

It had been days since the nightclub incident; and he’d managed to act completely clueless about the entire evening. In honesty there were huge swathes of Xue Yang’s memory that were completely blank, but he was cursed with vague recollection of him kissing Xiao Xingchen.

He wanted to die from embarrassment. He wanted to mope around at the rejection. He had to pretend like he was completely clueless about everything that happened though and let the other just write it off as a side effect of the Flunitrazepam the random guy at the nightclub had put in his drink.

He had been in touch with Jin Guangyao and begged the other to find him new security. He couldn’t carry on being around Xiao Xingchen all the time, feeling like he did, and scared to death he’d do something stupid to reveal his feelings in a way that couldn’t be pretended away like that stupid kiss.

He had faithfully promised he’d keep up the good behaviour Xiao Xingchen had bullied into him so long as Jin Guangyao replaced him with someone who wouldn’t cause Xue Yang such pain to have close.

His manager had promised to at least look into it.

Xue Yang didn’t realise he’d been wool-gathering in his head and managed to separate slightly from Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing until he saw a face in the crowd that made him uncomfortable.

He didn’t recognise the man but the fear that skittered down his spine was very real; he turned to try and get closer to Xiao Xingchen who called his name and dashed over; the flash he caught from the corner of his eye had him raising his arm in self-protection. He was dragged out of the way and thrown to the floor, catching nothing but a glancing blow as Xiao Xingchen took out the threat.

It was all very chaotic after that as the crowd helped keep the attacker captive until the police could arrive, and ambulance was also called as both he and Xiao Xingchen had taken knife wounds.

His was a cut to the arm that didn’t particularly bother him, it was the wound on Xiao Xingchen’s side that scared the life out of him. He used his folded jacket to keep pressure on the injury.

A-Qing fluttered around trying to get him to let someone else take over so they could do the same for his arm but he just waved her off; it was nothing.

“You really have no fucking self-preservation instincts” Xiao Xingchen told him in annoyance; luckily he seemed fully conscious at the moment.

“I know. I‘m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll be better from now on” he felt close to tears but fought them back brutally.

Xiao Xingchen nodded at what he said and looked into his eyes, “At least you’ll get your new bodyguard now, silver linings right?” he reached out with his left hand to thumb away one of the tears that Xue Yang hadn’t realised had escaped.

Fucking Jin Guangyao and his stupid big mouth.

“It’s for the best, xiao-Xue, in light of everything”

Which meant Xiao Xingchen was aware of his feelings and agreed the best way to deal with it was to move on. Well there went his dignity.

“You’re too precious for this cruel world in the limelight, anyway” Xue Yang tried to mock, his voice a little strangled.

“Which of us do you mean?” Xiao Xingchen asked and it was both an arrow to his heart and salve to his ego to hear such an opinion from the other.

He was glad when the paramedics had arrived and he was shuffled away to have his own wound dealt with so he could save some face. If the paramedic thought the tears were a reaction to the pain or shock of being attacked then good.

They were taken to a nearby hospital to be treated. Xue Yang’s cut needed a few stitches so he was ready to be sent away reasonably quickly, but he stayed in the waiting room until A-Qing came back to report Xiao Xingchen was fine, he’d be kept in for a few days as his would was deeper and nastier but he was stable and in no danger.

“Aren’t you going to visit before we go?” she asked, but he shook his head. And honestly she was smart enough that she probably knew what was going on and why he didn’t want to impose on the other. “Alright, lets get you back to the hotel. I think Jin Guangyao will be waiting, unfortunately, I can’t do anything to put him off this time”

Xue Yang sighed and accepted his fate.

One Month Later

The stage lights faded for the last time and he was finally able to slip offstage. He was lathered with sweat and completely exhausted. Xue Yang’s knife wound hadn’t been particularly deep or damaging but it was surprising how much it had knocked him down. He still tired out so much more easily than he was used to, but he hadn’t wanted to put this concert off, preferring to get it out of the way so he could take a holiday for a couple of weeks and use it to think about the next steps in his career, and indeed life, with nothing hanging over his head.

The man who had attacked them had been the same who had drugged his drink in the nightclub, although due to the effects Xue Yang couldn’t identify him; it had been lucky his subconscious had reacted to the man though, or it could have been so much worse.

He accepted the towel A-Qing held out for him as he met his entourage in the back stage passages and dried off, pulling on the coat she had also brought him.

There was an oddly smug look on her face and he questioned her.

“Nothing, just something funny is all” she refused to be drawn on what caused her to smile so.

They made it back to the dressing rooms and he was bundled inside.

He wondered, uncharitably, if she was on drugs.

“No rush, your car won’t be here for quite some time yet” A-Qing told him as she shut the door behind him and he turned to find his street clothes. Except he wasn’t alone.

Oh.

Suddenly he daren’t move from the doorway, not sure whether to tear it open and flee or move into the room and act like he wasn’t bothered in the slightest.

In the end he compromised, did nothing and stayed exactly where he was.

“Why are you here?” he tried to keep his voice steady, and luckily it didn’t shake too much.

“Why do you think?” Xiao Xingchen asked him.

[xpouii]

Tentacletober Day 12

Yes it’s late! Yes I’m deeply ashamed! Yes it’s a sequel to day 9!

Prompt: “Get those things away from me.”

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Characters: Roman, Logan, Virgil, Remus

Warnings/Tags: SFW, drug use, prescription pills, eating disorder, binging/purging, self-harm, bad bad bad parents, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, swearing, blood, unsympathetic Deceit, unsympathetic Patton, mild Prinxiety

Please be careful when reading this if you see any of your triggers above!

               Roman rushed down the stairs, taking two at a time, “Roman, your pill!”

“Mom I’m gonna be late!” Roman called, but she appeared in front of him.

He opened his mouth obediently and she dropped the pill in, handing him a bottle of water. “Drink the water and you have to wait forty-five minutes. Don’t forget baby.”

“I’ll set a timer,” Roman said, swallowing the pill with a swig of water. He let her kiss his cheek then threw his backpack over his shoulder, jogging outside and jumping into his car. He checked his reflection in the rearview mirror before pulling out and driving to school.

He sang along with the radio and guzzled the bottle of water; it settled in his stomach like a weight, but his mother’s words ran through his head as he added a timer into his phone, sighing. Don’t forget baby.

           The school was big, probably not big enough for as many students as it served, but gargantuan anyway. He parked in the band lot and took a moment to go over his hair and face again before he slid out of his car, shouldering his bag. Logan was leaning against the building with his massive cello case stood beside him. Roman smiled, “Hey! Director late?”

           Logan rolled his eyes, “Always. I refuse to haul this thing to first period. Last time I did Mrs. Miller kept rolling her eyes at me and I couldn’t concentrate. It’s like I could hear her doing it.”

               “Maybe you should smoke a little more before school, Logan, if you’re hearing people’s eyes.”

               Logan sighed, “On that note, did your mom make you swallow the Adderall today?”

               “Yes but I palmed last night,” Roman said, taking a tiny folded square of paper out of his pocket and slipping it into Logan’s hand.

               Logan smiled and took the pill quickly, swallowing it dry and pocketing the paper. “Thanks I’ll leave a baggy in your car during lunch.”

               “You’re my hero!” Roman sing-songed as he leaned in, kissing Logan’s cheek. “Have you seen our shrinking Violet this morning?”

               “He’s in his car pretending not to cut his lip,” Logan said, nodding toward Virgil’s black truck.

               Roman sighed, “Well, I’m not going to miss breakfast for him! He can self-harm on his own time! I’ll be right back.”

               Logan muttered a reply as he spotted the director coming to unlock the band room. Roman trotted off and let himself into Virgil’s truck, “Whoa!”

               “Hey sexy,” Roman purred. “Nice lip ring.”

Virgil grabbed the razor blade and turned beet red, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. “Thanks.”

Roman leaned over and touched his face, “Bad morning?”

               “Not really,” Virgil said, letting out a little moan when Roman kissed him. When he broke the kiss, Roman had blood on his lips. “You wanna smoke?”

               Roman licked his lips with a wink, “I’m all out until lunch, but after we eat I’m down. You wanna head to the cafeteria and get some breakfast?”

               Virgil rolled his eyes, leaning in for another kiss that Roman returned eagerly. It wasn’t sexual, or even romantic, not really. They’d been making out since they were young and started practicing kissing. Now it was a platonic habit that gave Roman the attention he craved and Virgil the love and affection he needed. It was also Roman’s way of letting Virgil know he wasn’t bothered by his cutting, his emotional scars or his physical ones. When they broke the kiss, Virgil’s lip had stopped bleeding, and it was red for an entirely different reason. “Sure, what time is it?”

               Roman checked the timer, “Fifteen minutes—um, I mean it’s seven ten.”

               Virgil nodded, pulling down his visor and checking his chin; Roman could see the concealer and foundation he was wearing. He reached over to blend it a bit with his fingers. “I thought I’d try something.”

               “Right,” Roman said. “Need help?”

               “Um… actually, yeah. My dad took that eyeliner you gave me.”

               Roman sighed, “I figured. Don’t worry baby, I got you.”

               Virgil smiled, unzipping his hoodie and shrugging it off, “Thanks.”

               Roman opened his bag and waved his hand at Virgil, “Nonsense. It’s what friends do, and besides, I’ll look better when my friends look better. If I can just convince Logan to do something about those glasses. He hasn’t updated his style since third grade.”

               Virgil smiled, holding still as Roman began to work on his face, blending and balancing until Virgil looked less like he was wearing makeup and more like he’d started a decent new acne routine. Roman took out his eyeliner and applied it thick just under Virgil’s eye, then licked his thumb and spread it down and outward, doing a prettier, more put together version of what Virgil had done himself the night before. Virgil watched Roman, blushing at the cute face Roman made when concentrating. “How do I look?”

               “Perfection, baby, of course,” Roman said, wiping his hands off on a discarded fast food napkin from Virgil’s floorboard. “I don’t do bad work, but you look good even for my standards.”

               Virgil opened his mouth, but Roman’s timer went off, “Oh, breakfast time then?”

               “Yes please!” Roman said, putting away his things and jumping out of the truck.

               Logan fell in step with them once they reached the cafeteria, “Morning, Virgil.”

               “Hey, L. Finally get that cello stored?” Virgil greeted.

               Logan sighed, but he was perky, taking long, quick strides that made Roman and Virgil struggle to keep up, “I swear I’m more organized than any of the adults in this school district. I like the eyes. Why didn’t you wear it at the concert?”

               “Shitty parents,” Virgil said. “Thanks though.”

               “What do you guys want? My treat!” Roman said.

               “Already ate,” Logan said.

               “Oatmeal,” Virgil said. “And a bottle of water.”

               “Two oatmeals, please, garçon!” Roman called to a rather unamused cafeteria worker.

                 When lunchtime rolled around, Virgil and Roman ducked out to his truck, sitting low to hide from the security guard as Roman lit the joint that he’d gotten from Logan. “So I wanted to tell you something,” Virgil said. “Something kind of… intense.”

               Virgil leaned in, and Roman took a hit, “Is this about what happened to your chin?”

               “No,” Virgil said briskly, “Last night afterward, I was trying to sleep and I kept hearing my name, you know? Like somebody was whispering it.”

               Roman raised an eyebrow, holding out the joint for Virgil to take, “Like a ghost?”

               Virgil took a drag and held it, then coughed lightly, “Well I saw what I thought was like a snake or something, go under my bed? And I didn’t want to scream or anything so I like… crawl over and look under the bed right?”

               Roman gasped and grabbed Virgil’s arm, “You didn’t!”

               “I did! Suddenly, something reaches out and drags me under the bed.”

               “What?” Roman let go of Virgil’s arm, “Wait seriously?”

               Virgil nodded, “I was like… in this cave, with this… guy? But he’s a monster. He has like um… what do you call them… the octopus things? Tentacles! Yeah, but he says his name is Remus and then he took me to Mrs. Miller’s. We came out from under her bed. He scared the shit out of her. I think I was out with him until like four in the morning.”

               Roman fiddled with his hair for a moment, trying to ignore the gnawing in his stomach. “Virgil, you know I love a dream story as much as the next gay, but-“

               “It wasn’t a dream,” Virgil said. “That’s the thing! This morning I got out of bed and I reached under, and it was cold… like… I was reaching into a cave. It wasn’t carpet. I don’t know how to explain it. Anyway, it felt like some kind of guardian angel, you know? Like… he was sent to help or something. He said monsters watch people because we’re weird.”

               ”Well you’re weird he’s right about that,” Roman muttered, then laughed when Virgil shoved him playfully. “Ok ok, I’ll believe you. You met a monster and he thinks you’re weird.” He handed the joint to Virgil then took his face in his hands, “If that helps you, baby, then I’m really happy for you.”

               Virgil took a hit and Roman kissed him.

                 They got to band just as the bell rang, smelling like Axe body spray and guzzled mouthwash, grinning and snickering. The director let them sit before he stood up to start his announcements. Logan was scribbling notes as the director spoke, his gaze laser focused. Roman patted his knee when he sat, and Logan gave a tiny nod in response. “Have a good lunch?”

               Virgil chuckled, “It was delicious.”

               “And decently low in calories,” Roman said. ��But I’m fucking starving now. Do you have anything to eat?”

               Logan kicked his backpack, “I got you both a Snickers.”

               “You can have mine,” Virgil said. “I’m actually not super hungry.”

               “You’re not getting paranoid are you?” Roman muttered. “Just relax baby nobody can tell.”

               Logan raised an eyebrow but said nothing as Roman rummaged the candy from his bag. “I can tell,” Virgil muttered.

               Roman downed the first candy bar without speaking, but he ate the next one slowly, listening to the director lecturing the percussion section, savoring it as much as he’d let himself before his hand shot up, “I need to go to the bathroom, please.”

               “Mr. Prince, you just came from lunch, did you not? Why didn’t you go then?”

               Roman shoved his small bottle of mouthwash into his pocket as he shrugged, “I guess I didn’t need to go then.”

               The director gave him a withering look, then waved him off toward the door. Roman didn’t waste any time slipping out of the classroom and power walking to the bathroom. He checked for feet in any stalls and took the one furthest from the door. He wasted no time layering toilet paper in the toilet, then he put his hands on his hips, bending at the waste and purging himself of the food—and subsequent guilt—he’d just swallowed. It was easy now, quick, requiring no fingers or ceremony. He flushed the toilet and went straight to the sink, rinsing his mouth out and using the mouthwash, giving himself a winning stage smile in the mirror. He washed his hands and hurried back to class with a head full of adrenaline.

                 Roman pulled into his driveway and jumped out of the car, grabbing his backpack and a bag from the convenience store a few miles outside of town. He kept his head down as he made a straight line for his apartment, letting himself in and locking the door behind him. “Mom?” he called, pausing for an answer. “Mom I’m home!”

               She was still at work. He dropped his backpack by the door and went straight to the bathroom. He locked himself in. Roman opened the first carton of ice cream and ate his way through the entire quart in minutes. He was desperate to finish. An interruption at that point would be hell. He set the carton aside. Assuming the obscenely graceful pose, bent at the waist, hands on his hips, he let go. The kick of adrenaline and pleasure shot through him with every heave. Then he was empty again, free and spinning and the world slowed down around him. His eyes and nose were running, and he blinked the tears away as he went to the sink, splashing water on his face.

               Roman rinsed his mouth out and waited until the adrenaline slowed, and the hunger returned, his stomach twisting and begging. He went to the second carton and opened it, eating a little slower, savoring the feeling, but not the taste. By the third carton, he was too far gone to taste anything anymore, caught up in the cycle of full and empty, sensation and mental distraction. It was everything to him, a ritual he did every night he wasn’t forced out of the house to a rehearsal or a reading or sitting for pictures to update his portfolio. Roman opened the fourth carton, now just sweet liquid, but that made it easier to get down faster, and he swallowed away all of the thoughts left in his head, letting them settle in his stomach and weigh him down before he brought them back up again and sent them away down the pipes. He returned to the sink, rinsing with water and then swishing the fluoride mouthwash, wincing as it stung in the sores along his tongue. He spat and smiled at himself, taking a careful look at his teeth. The front ones had gone almost transparent at the bottom, and his mother had already scheduled him for a dental visit. She’d read on the internet that a dentist could get a special mouth guard to keep the stomach acid from eroding enamel—and you’ll never be in movies with bad teeth, sweetheart. You’re not talented enough to get on without your looks. Mommy loves you.

               Roman splashed his face with water and ran it through his hair, ignoring just how much hair came out in his hands as he did. He shook it off into the trash and gathered every bit of evidence, hurrying it out and down to the large dumpsters behind his building. He dumped the cartons and spoon and bags and shame where his mother wouldn’t find evidence of his excess. She supported the purging, but her disappointed stares anytime Roman took in more than one or two hundred calories at a time made his face burn and his stomach flip—and not in the good way. He got in and stretched out on the couch for a nap.

                 Roman was laying awake in bed staring at the ceiling and watching the dancing shadows of cars passing outside. He was thinking about Virgil, what he’d said, and how he’d looked in his makeup, and Roman couldn’t help the smile that played on his lips.

               “Hi Roman.”

               Roman screamed and jumped to his feet, standing on his bed. A man had popped up beside his bed. Tentacles were flicking lazily around him, “What the fuck?”

               “Roman!” his mother yelled from her room. “I told you to go to sleep!”

               Roman looked at Remus for a moment, then called, “Sorry mom I fell out of bed!”

               Remus grinned, sitting on the edge of the bed; Roman scooted further away, avoiding the tentacles. “Get those things away from me!” he whispered harshly.

               “What, my tentacles? They have minds of their own sometimes. Don’t worry. They’re not slimy or anything.”

               “Am I hallucinating?”

               “Good question. What do you see?”

               Roman blinked, “A creep with tentacles sitting on my bed?”

               “Nope!” Remus said happily. “You’re perfectly… well… not hallucinating.”

               “So Virgil isn’t crazy either,” Roman breathed. “You’re…”

               “Remus, yes. Virgil said you might need a friend. He’s in love with you.”

               Roman blushed, slowly moving closer to sit on the edge of his bed, “So… you’re here to do what?”

               Remus shrugged, “We could go break into a gas station and steal some ice cream but I’m not sure it’s the best thing for you… we could go draw penises on Logan’s window while he’s trying to study.”

               “I’ll get my jacket.”

[fraybaness]

something that’s not there anymore

ao3

nobody needs to know that magnus isn’t fine (post-3a)

There are moments where he forgets.

The first few seconds after waking up in the morning. When he's too distracted by what he's reading or who he's kissing. Times when he's too sleepy to get up to turn off the lights.

In those moments, he'll raise his arm - not too high, just to his shoulder level - and reach for something that should be there. Something that's always been there.

Then it all hits him, suddenly and in agonizing detail: the fire, the deal with the devil, the feeling of everything he'd learned not to hate about himself being ripped away from him, leaving him bare and empty and vulnerable. Then his father's magic, too much for anyone. Far too much for a mortal body. Then Alexander's blood on his hands, and Catarina's furrowed brows, and Luke's haunted face when he came to Magnus begging for help only to be turned away, and Maryse holding back tears at Alec's bedside, the silence between them loaded with things they both should have said out loud.

When this happens, Magnus can usually process it quickly. Okay , he tells himself. So you don't have magic anymore. You're not a warlock anymore. You're not immortal anymore. There are worse things in this world. And there are, so he quickly wipes any trace of sadness or unease from his face and carries on with what he's doing. Grabs the sugar himself. Gets out of bed to turn off the light. Stops trying to draw out his magic.

Other times it's not so easy, and more than once he's jolted awake in the middle of the night and only been able to sleep again after he's cried his heart out, face pressed into his pillow to muffle the noise. This is always done in secret, because he's fine, really , and nobody needs to worry and nobody needs to know that he's not.

The only person he cries in front of is Catarina, that first night. She's just finished healing Alec and managed to get Magnus to leave his bedside for a minute to eat and drink something. It’s there, under the bright lights of her kitchen as she urges him to take off his bloodied coat that it all really sinks in for the first time. He collapses. She sits on the floor beside him and asks him what's going on. He tells her. Or, he tries to, but at some point he just starts crying, and she holds him until he's too tired to cry anymore.

Everybody tries to get him to talk , of course. Isabelle, who shows up with terrible homemade muffins and dark circles under her eyes, tells him she's there no matter what, and he can always talk to her. Maryse, who ushers him into the living room and pulls him into her arms once she's satisfied that Alec will be okay, whispers that she doesn't know what's going on, but whatever it is, he can talk to her about it. Raphael, who calls from three states away saying that he heard, and he's on his way, and he's so, so sorry, makes sure to remind Magnus to call if he needs anything or just wants to talk . Even Jace starts his brief but heartfelt apology with, can we talk?

Magnus really doesn't feel like talking.

He tells Alec exactly that one night a few days after the fact, when they're lounging on opposite sides of the couch, their legs touching, reading different books, trying to distract themselves from all the things going on in the world. He's been feeling Alec's eyes on him all evening, and the second Alec opened his mouth he knew what he was going to say. So before Alec can say anything, Magnus says, “I don't want to talk about it.”

Alec hesitates. “You will,” he says after a moment, “and I’ll be here when you do.”

Magnus has to admit, Alec’s quiet but constant support does make things slightly easier - which is a relief, because nothing has been easy these days: His makeup takes an hour longer to put on. He has to drive places since he can't make portals anymore. He keeps misplacing his apartment keys or forgetting to lock the door. He gets drunk now - worse, he gets hungover . And considering he's not a Downworlder anymore, he doesn't really know what to do with Pandemonium. Everything’s a mess.

And then, just as Alec fully recovers and gets the OK to go back to work, things get even harder: Magnus catches a cold. And for the first few hours he's very concerned, because he hasn't gotten sick in about two hundred years - and he's certainly never had the common cold before. Once he realizes he's not about to drop dead, he just becomes frustrated.

Alec brings him chicken soup and orange juice at Maia's suggestion.

“Thank you, darling,” Magnus says, voice unfamiliar from the stuffy nose and hours of coughing himself hoarse. When Alec bends down to kiss him on the forehead, Magnus moves abruptly out of the way. “No, you'll get sick too!”

“I'll be fine,” Alec assures him. He tries the kiss again but Magnus dodges him once more.

“Also, I'm disgusting.”

“As if,” Alec scoffs, and finally gets the damn kiss that he wanted so badly. He turns his attention on the soup and brings up hot spoonful to Magnus' lips, holding a napkin underneath with his other hand to prevent spills. Magnus has never been more in love with him.

It turns out that Alec is a wonderful nurse. He brings Magnus food and medicine, makes him tea, rubs his shoulders, even buys a humidifier for the bedroom. On top of that, he doesn't seem at all bothered by the constant sneezing and occasional vomiting. He even works from home two days in a row so he can keep Magnus company. They spend so much time together that Magnus runs out of "sexy nurse" jokes by the end of the first day. He decides to instead occupy his time by looking through job listings and typing out a resume, but with his splitting headache and frustration at trying to list his qualifications in a human way, he doesn’t get very far.

When he's feeling better, Alec takes him out on a date. They have to take a taxi there, which throws Magnus off a little at first, but it's a nice Chinese restaurant with romantic lighting and prices just high enough to make Alec's insistence on paying the bill sweet as opposed to idiotic. They eat and drink (water - they drink water because Magnus is still a bit sick and doesn't understand his own alcohol tolerance anymore) and hold hands across the table and tip the waiter two-hundred dollars because it's dinner rush and she's trying her best.

“You wanna take a walk?” Alec asks once they're outside, bundled up against the chilly - but not yet quite cold - weather. Magnus nods and they begin to walk hand-in-hand down the street.

“Thank you for dinner,” Magnus says. “Next one's on me.”

Alec shakes his head fondly. “No one's keeping score. I just felt like doing something nice for you since you've been cooped up at home for so long.”

Magnus squeezes Alec's hand with his own as he takes a deep breath, taking in lungfuls of the fresh, crisp night air. The walk is long and eventually Alec calls a taxi anyway, but the half hour stretching their legs in open air does wonders for their mood.

Back at the loft, Magnus makes tea and has Alec join him on the couch on the balcony. Alec wraps a blanket around the both of them and they both sit there in silence for a long while, sipping tea and watching the stars.

“I love you,” Alec says out of nowhere. Magnus doesn't mind. It feels like the right thing to say and the right thing to hear.

“I love you, too,” Magnus says.

“I know,” Alec leans in to place a soft kiss on his cheek. “And I'm really sorry.”

“About what, darling?”

He can hear Alec swallow thickly beside him. “Your magic.”

“Alexander-”

“I know you said you didn't wanna talk about it yet, but… come on , Magnus. It’s been over a week and you’ve refused to talk to anyone .”

“That’s not true,” Magnus lies.

“I talked to Catarina,” Alec says. “And if you’re not talking to her, and you’re not talking to me, and you’re not seeing a therapist-”

“I don’t need a-”

“-then that means you’re just bottling things up again.”

Damn him - he knows Magnus too well.

“If you need time to process, I understand,” Alec goes on. “But at least let me apologize.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Magnus starts to say, but Alec holds up a finger to his lips to silence him. Magnus gives him an unamused look but respectfully lets him continue.

Alec takes a deep breath. “I- I just want you to know that I love you more than anything. And the thought of you suffering because of something that I could've prevented is... it's killing me. But nothing hurts more than you hiding from me. So, please, don’t put on a facade for my sake or anyone else’s.”

Magnus takes a moment to let the words sink in. He doesn't quite know how to feel about that. He feels a little lost, a little ashamed at not having noticed Alec felt this way, and some semblance of anger deep in his subconscious because it’s not for your sake .

But mostly he just wants to fix this because he knows firsthand how damaging guilt can be.

He places a hand on top of Alec’s under the blanket and turns to him. "I made a choice in Edom,” he says quietly. “And, yes, it was because of you - but so what? I think I have made it clear by now that I would do anything for you, Alexander, and never regret it. Can you trust me on that?"

Alec nods.

"Good," Magnus smiles. "Now, I've come to realize that life is a gift and our time on earth that is not spent healing from stab wounds or throwing up into a toilet is very limited, so don't waste another second of it feeding your guilt. We're both alive, we're both here, and we should make the most of that. Yeah?”

Alec has started tearing up, but they're not sad tears. He quickly blinks them away. Magnus cups his face and kisses him before wrapping his arms around Alec and going back to stargazing. He meant every word he said. He just didn't mention the underlying fear and bitterness that accompanied his optimistic worldview.

A week or two later, Magnus is still trying to get used to living without magic. He's started googling things religiously. And thankfully it seems he's not the only person out there who needs a step-by-step guide on how to do the simplest mundane things like call a cab or use a dishwasher or buy condoms.

Simon’s a big help, too, with the mundane stuff, and Raphael when he finally comes back to town. Magnus wants to ask Luke how he and Jocelyn adjusted to being out of the Shadow World, but Luke has stopped coming over and calling and joining the others on missions. Simon, on the other hand, seems happy for a chance to make himself useful and has taken to shadowing Magnus like he used to shadow Clary.

It’s all very depressing, really. Magnus wonders if there is a WikiHow article on helping all your friends deal with their respective traumas.

“Uber Eats: mankind’s best invention,” Magnus announces one evening, pressing “track order” and settling into Alec’s side on the couch in front of the TV.

“Yesterday, you said that was Netflix,” Alec says, wrapping an arm around Magnus’ shoulder. “And the day before that, waterproof mascara.”

“And I meant it every time.”

“Hmm. Do you wanna get married?”

If Magnus was eating or drinking something, he would be dead now from how violently he chokes at those words. “ What ?”

“Not right now,” Alec says quickly, as if that’s supposed to make it any less shocking. “But...in the future. Do you see us getting married?”

“I… well, I haven’t really thought about it…” That’s a lie. Magnus has thought about it plenty. But always in a fantastical sense - it has never felt within the realm of possibility, not with Alec and not with anyone. Not ever for Magnus. He can’t even list all the reasons why anymore. At some point it’s just started to feel like one of the sad truths of life. “Why do you ask?”

Alec shrugs. “Just thinking about the future.”

Magnus briefly and bitterly thinks about making a comment about how Alec must be loving this, not having to worry about being forgotten or replaced or turned into a memento in a box. But that’s just cruel and - probably - hopefully - not true, so Magnus stays quiet.

Instead he says, “I don’t know, I’ve never really had a bucket list or anything. Maybe I should make one and add that?” It’s a subtle hint, but Magnus hopes Alec understands what he’s trying to say: Not the fucking time or place, babe.

Alec tenses momentarily at the reminder of Magnus’ mortality, but recovers quickly and instead tightens his hold on Magnus, mumbling a quick apology.

Magnus starts thinking about the future. He’s never been able to picture anything specific before.

He still can’t.

The next day, when Alec gets back from work, Magnus has cooked dinner and decorated the table with rose petals and candles and everything. Alec seems to have also had a similar idea: he’s bought flowers and chocolate.

“What’s the occasion?” Magnus asks playfully.

“Could ask you the same thing,” Alec hands him the bouquet and kisses him softly. “I saw these and thought of you, that’s all.”

“Oh, darling, that’s so sweet,” Magnus says, smiling uncontrollably at him, before gesturing to the dinner table. “This was meant as an apology for snapping at you last night. I know you didn’t mean anything bad by your impromptu proposal. I’ve just been a little on edge.”

“I know, it’s okay. And I’m sorry that it came off… well, however it came off. But that wasn’t a proposal. That was just speculation. I’m not gonna actually ask you to marry me without a ring, you know.”

Magnus laughs, and they sit down to eat, but he can’t get Alec’s confident tone when he spoke so surely of their future marriage out of his head and focus on dinner no matter how hard he tries.

Maybe it’s just Magnus’ luck that he’s going to get the one thing he wants solely because he’s lost everything else.

Later that night - almost morning, really - they’re lying in bed in each other’s arms and Magnus asks, “do you really want to marry me?”

“Of course,” Alec says without hesitation. “Why wouldn't I?”

Magnus shrugs. Where do I begin?

“Magnus,” Alec says forcefully when he gets no reply. He places two slender fingers under Magnus’ chin and tilts his head up until they’re looking in each other’s eyes. “You’re literally the man of my dreams. All I’ve wanted to do since the second I met you was spend every waking moment with you for the rest of my life. Why wouldn’t I wanna marry you?”

Magnus is dumbfounded for a moment, as he often is when his boyfriend says things like that as if it’s the most obvious thing in the universe. Then he’s shaking his head and setting his jaw and pulling away from Alec. “Because!” he cries. “Nothing that good can come from this !”

Alec’s confusion at his words melts away when Magnus stares down at his hands - his cold and sparkless fingers - replaced instead by a hurt, incredulous look.

“Hang on, you think I wanna marry you because-” Alec sputters. “You think I only want this because you’re mortal now?!”

“Well, why else have you never brought it up before?”

“Because I’ve never come this close to losing you before!”

It’s quiet for a moment. Magnus wraps his arms around himself. Alec sits up and tries desperately to catch his eyes.

“You went to hell , Magnus,” he says, softer and quieter. “You had the highest fever I have ever seen on anyone in my life. You’re pulling away from me and you’re pretending you’re not hurting. I didn’t want to go another second without reminding you what you mean to me.”

Magnus takes a deep breath. “It feels like pity,” he admits.

“It’s not pity,” Alec says. “I would marry you whether we both had a day or a thousand years to live. But if you don’t want to, that’s okay. I don’t care as long as I get to be with you.”

“It feels like pity.”

“Then I’ll shut up about it.” Alec promises, then after a moment reaches out and playfully shoves Magnus. “See what happens when you talk to me?”

He’s got a point. So a few hours later, after a quick nap and a lovely breakfast prepared by Alec, Magnus finds Alec in the library and finally starts talking.

At first he talks about everything but himself, but he can't avoid that topic for long. So “Catarina asked us to babysit next week” turns to “how's your family holding up?” to “I watched her grow up, you know. She used to make these drawing for me... I couldn't keep them - no one could know I knew her for everyone's safety - but I still remember them all. I can't believe she's really…” to “it's strange, not being able to use magic anymore, I don't know how to get used to it” and finally it all goes back to the root of the problem:

“I'm scared.”

Alec, who’s gone from listening intently from five feet apart to hugging him so tightly Magnus’ words are muffled into his shirt, looks down at him for a long moment when he says this.

“Of dying?” he asks quietly.

Magnus shakes his head.

“Then, what?”

“Of being…” Magnus sighs. “Of being powerless. Of not being able to help people or defend myself or fix thing. Of…not knowing who or what I am anymore if I’m not…”

A warlock. A healer. Useful .

“You’re  the best person I know, and you always will be,” is what Alec says in reply, with no hesitation. “And we’re going to figure this out.”

Magnus feels himself smile without meaning to. He buries his face in Alec’s shoulder and Alec holds him for a while longer. This doesn’t answer any of his questions or solve any of his problems, but Magnus can’t deny he feels a little better, a little lighter, after their talk. Alec doesn’t understand (no one understands, really) and his words could be empty promises as easily as they could be an unbreakable oath. But it helps, somehow, to hear this kind of unwavering support and reassurance. To not have to pretend all the time.

The next time Magnus forgets, Alec is there to lace their fingers together and remind him to breathe before the world starts to feel like it’s crumbling down all around him again.

[huangels]

community furry club - werewolf!mark

nct dream halloween special: main menu | mark | renjun | jeno | haechan | jaemin | chenle | jisung

a/n: this was supposed to be posted oct 1 fjdhd, also this is lowkey a furry fic but it's NOT don’t worry, also also pls ignore all typos i’m POOPED 

genre: fluff+ humor

word count: 2.4k

"Mark? What are you doing here?" you stare with a hitched breath as if a ghost had just flown through the doors of the city's populated cafe.

Standing by your small table is your boyfriend Mark, tall and stiff with an awkward posture. It takes you a moment before you realize it's the unfitting baseball cap and XXL jacket hung around his shoulders that causes him to look slightly disfigured.

Mark is not what you would call human or wolf, but a median, a werewolf. When in his human form, Mark's large ears and long fluffy tail does not go away, which explains the hat and jacket. The latter gawkily shuffles over to the opposite seat in front of you and slides into the chair as gracefully as possible, but failing as he knocks his knee onto the back side of the table.

Once he's situated, his flashes an uncomfortable smile, hands placed on his knees under the table and rubbing up and down. "Visting my girlfriend?"

You push down the head of your laptop and stuff it back into your backpack to turn your attention towards him.

"Way to look natural," you tease, eyeing the tilted cap and lumpy jacket. "Aren't you hot in that, too? It's Fall but the sun is still out."

"Nope," Mark pops the p, but the sweat coating his forehead tells you otherwise.

"Really, what are you doing here? I told you I will be home for Halloween after running some errands," you scold your boyfriend. You had to visit the city to buy some final Halloween decorations like cobwebs and some candy to hand out to kids trick or treating. Having to run from one Halloween store to another trying to find last-minute decorations is more difficult than you assumed since the stores were almost completely empty. You soon gave up and stopped by a cafe for an energy booster.

"Ugh, Y/N. I was so bored at home, and I just wanted to go out and walk around, smell the fresh air," Mark complains as he leans forward onto his propped up arm, chin held in his palm.

You raise a cocky eyebrow, "are you that excited for Halloween?"

Mark's eyes light up and his tail starts to wag under the large coat, "Yes!"

Since almost every day Mark has to hide his identity under hats and jackets, Halloween is the only night where he can freely show himself to others without disguises. He can blend in with the other neighborhood freaks who put way too much effort into looking inhuman. And he even receives compliments from everyone which makes him feel confident about himself not being a normal human.

You always feel horrible having to walk past Mark's house every day, which is right next to yours, to go to school, while he is homeschooled by his werewolf family. You can see the look of boredom on his face as he stares blankly out of the window, ears bend and tail limp. And when you would wave to him from the window, he would pop up with a bright smile and wave back excitedly but grow gloomy again as you head off to the bus stop, mirroring his expression.

"So do you have a costume yet?" Mark questions, playing with the napkin atop the table. You snap out of your own head and direct your attention back to your boyfriend.

You take a sip of coffee before it gets cold, "yeah, I'm gonna wear a witch costume."

"But you wore that last year," Mark complains, huffing.

"No, last year I was a vampire," you correct the latter with a grin.

"It's the same dress that you wear, Y/N!" It's true, you don't have much of an admiration for Halloween as Mark does. Sure, it was fun to run around at night and get free candy as a kid but now that you're in your senior year in high school, people don't really give candy out to teens and Halloween costumes become more expensive the older you get. So you just stick with your black dress with lacey and black flower details. You'll buy other accessories too of course, like for last year, you wore a cape and fangs with your dress and this year, you have a big purple witch hat.

You shrug your shoulders, "that's what makes it creative."

Mark huffs at your response, mumbling a whatever under his breath, but ends the conversation there.

"Well, do you have a Halloween costume this year?" you question back with a half-smile. Every Halloween for the past two years, Mark usually just wears ripped clothes and werewolf gloves and pretends he's in the midst of his transformation. It's not much of a difference just like your costumes.

"I'm gonna be a scientist," Mark replies, tongue sticking out childishly, "who turns into a werewolf."

Before you can further tease your boyfriend about his choice in Halloween costumes, your friend from school enters the cafe and calls your name.

"Y/N! What are you doing here?" she starts off, waving hi to both you and Mark, "Are you going to the Halloween party at Hyunjin's later?"

Mark emits a low whine before you answer, "No, I'm just going to be walking around with Mark but if we can, we'll maybe stop by."

"Aww, ok. So what's your costume going to be? I still haven't decided and the party is in like 4 hours."  

"A witch and Mark is going to be a...scientist wolf thing?" you say, cocking an eyebrow at your boyfriend. He twiddles his thumbs and responds with a nervous chuckle. Mark doesn't get much interaction with humans since he's stuck home most days so he's always awkward when talking to them.

"That's cool, well I'll see you in school," she waves goodbye to you guys. Mark raises a hand to politely wave back but the long sleeves of his coat knocks over your cup of coffee, spilling on your friend. Thankfully there wasn't much and it had cooled off by now.

"I'm so sorry, are you okay?" Mark stutters, handing the girl a handful of napkins from your table with trembling hands.

She chuckles, grabbing the napkins to wipe off her shirt, "No worries. I was just heading home to change for the party anyway."

Mark bends down from his chair to wipe up the coffee from the tiled floor. But, one unfortunate thing after another, his unfitting baseball cap slides off of his head and into the middle of the coffee spill. Mark's large wolf ears perk up as he freezes in his spot. Your eyes widen at the sight of his ears revealed to everyone in the cafe.

"Uhh, what's- that?" a voice breaks the silence. You cough as you try to come up with an explanation: expose your boyfriend or lie?

Your eyes bee-line to Mark but he's still stunned in a bent-over position that causes his blood to rush to his head. The silence after is too long so you shout the first excuse that comes to mind, "He's a furry."

Customers in the cafe turn their heads toward the commotion, maybe you shouldn't have said that so loud for everyone to hear.

"He's a...?"

"A furry- yep."

Mark now bolts up from his seat to scowl at you with wide eyes, seeming to demand why you said that. You flash a look of apology back before smiling nervously at your friend. Though, she is too busy examining you boyfriend's wolf ears.

"These ears look so real," she says, reaching to poke it. His ears twitch and avoid her touch.

You let out another nervous laugh, "yeah- he's just a very... dedicated furry. He spends a lot of time and money into his... uh- ears."

"So do you have a suit?" another voice enters the conversation, from behind your friend. "Because I'm in a community furry club and we really need some more members since we only have 6."

Your hand slaps over your mouth and you bite down your lips to prevent you from laughing, but only causing you to cough as if you're trying to get a hairball out of your throat. You can feel tears bordering your waterline.

Mark quickly grabs your backpack in one hand and your wrist in the other before he storms out of the store. You stumble behind and once you are a few feet down the street you can't help but let out a roar of laughter, bending over with a hand holding your stomach. The tears finally stream out as you laugh at the situation that had just unfolded. Mark stands in front of you, foot tapping and arms crossed over his chest. His hat, now soaked with coffee, is back on his head, covering his ears once more.

"Are you done?" Mark snarls, eyes squinting at your hysterical state. You wipe off a real tear from your eyes.

"Community- furry... club," you chortle in between laughs, trying to catch your breath. It feels like you've just gained a 6-pack from laughing so hard. "You... never gave- him an answer."

"I'm going home," Mark turns on his feet and stomps back home, but not before you can latch an arm around his to tease him some more.

༄

"I still can't believe you said I was a furry to your friend. Now every time I see her, she's gonna think I'm a damn furry," Mark grumbles, cutting slits into his white lab coat before pulling at it to make the slits look more natural.

"I mean...technically, you are a furry and- oh my god I'm dating a furry," you soon regret blurting out that Mark is a furry.

"I'm NOT a furry!"

"You do have fur."

"You have fur too."

"That's hair!"

"Same thing."

You roll your eyes before continuing to blend out your dark eyeshadow. You don't know much about makeup but it turns out alright with the help of multiple Youtube tutorials. Your hair is already curled and you're in your black dress. You decided to pair the dress with black and white horizontal striped tights and a pair of all black converse. All you needed is the hat which is on your bed. Now, you're just waiting for Mark, who is now trying to dirty his lab coat with brown eyeshadow and fake blood.

"I'll go get the candy ready," you inform Mark before exiting your bedroom into the living room. Usually, you and Mark stay in your house to hand out candy to little kids first and then walk around to see decorations and neighbors once it starts to get dark and more people come out to play. Then, your parents take over with handing out candy.

You grab the large bag of assorted candy and carefully pour it into an orange bucket, placing that by your front door. You get a few rounds of kids dressed in superhero costumes and princess dresses for candy before you hear your boyfriend come to the living room.

"You ready?" Mark asks as you turn towards him. Your breath hitches at how handsome Mark looks, even if he's covered in blood and brown eyeshadow. Mark had on his ripped lab coat, a pair of khaki trousers, and a baby blue sweater that is also slightly ripped and painted with red and brown. But most captivating part of his outfit is the pair of fake eyeglasses he has on, they're round and black and fit perfectly with his features. His hair is styled down and a little messy over his forehead with his ears sticking out of the top of his head. His tail hangs out from a hole cut on the back of his lab coat.

Mark looks so charming with glasses, he should wear it more often. And you probably said exactly that out loud because he replies back with, "oh, you like them that much?"

You roll your eyes in annoyance but the slight blush on the tips of your cheeks causes Mark to swiftly swoop you into his arms for a soft kiss.

The both of you say bye to your parents as you enter the dawn setting. The roads are crowded with people in different costumes and of different ages. Kids stop him to feel his ear or pet his tail and Mark is thrilled by every compliment on how realistic it feels. Parents have asked how Mark got them to move so smoothly and if it was automatic or remote controlled. Of course, having been asked these questions for the past two years, he's already come up with a made-up explanation.

A couple hours have passed as you and Mark continue to walk down the busy streets, looking at decorations and entering homemade haunted houses (Mark ended up attached at the hip to you in the houses but denied that he was scared). Without knowing, you both have walked to Hyunjin's house where the Halloween party is being held. Blasting through the front windows are rave lights and neon lasers while the bass of the dance music vibrates through the air and you're surprised that the party hasn't shut down due to noise complaints yet.

"You wanna just stop by to say hi?" you suggest, pointing at the colorfully lighten-up house. Mark shrugs with a simple, "sure."

As soon as you enter the house, the smell of sweat, cheap beer, and Doritos waft over you. Gross.

Mark and you make your way around as your school friends greet you with sloppy hugs. You try to introduce your boyfriend but the volume of the music and the state of your friends don't help. You give up trying to communicate with them and you head for the kitchen with Mark. In the cooler next to the island counter are sodas, which you grab and replenish yourself from walking around for two hours.

Before you know it, you hear someone drunkenly shout, "it's the furry kid, Mark!"

The voice belongs to the friend from earlier in the cafe. Mark and you meet eyes and then he bolts out of the party, filled to the brim with embarrassment. You run after him, feeling the sense of deja vu.

"They're never gonna let me live that down, are they?"

"I guess you'll just be known as a furry and I, the one who dates him."

[lovinitkpop]

Brown Sugar and Honey

This one is about a new girl group at SM. You could say EXO sister group there may be a love line put in it who really knows. I mean I know but then again I might not know. Heads up I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes after rereading it over and over I can’t deal with it.

Oh the reason I came up with this title is because the main OC is black and DO KyungSoo looks damn sexy and handsome when his skin is dark and tan and NOT WHITE WASHED!!!!! STOP THE WHITE WASHING!!!!!!!!

If there is a love line then it will be my first Kyungsoo series. Hope you like it but if you don’t guess what I don’t give two shits leave my blog then. Anyways enjoy bye.

Warnings: Fluffy, Angst, Language, Bullying, Stupid, May not make senses, Brain frat, May not have smut, Trigger, Suicide talk, Racism, Blood, etc.

Pairing: OC x DO Kyungsoo

Chapter 23

February 4, 2019

The girls sit around talking for a bit as the music plays. The girls were guest on NCT’s Night Night show after a busy schedule.

“Okay so we are here with Royal 1004 talking about their two most recent singles.” Jaehyun says smiling as he looks back up looking at the girls.

“Yes Nightingale and Broken heart.” Johnny says looking at his notes. “I like Nightingale more plus the video.”

“Aren’t you in the video?” Jaehyun says looking at Johnny. The just laugh watching as Johnny smiles sheepishly.

“That’s because he’s Nessie unnie Romeo.” Eunjin says smiling watching them.

“So tell us Romeo why do you like the video?” Jisoo asks smiling evilly as she looks at Johnny.

“Well I like it because; it’s like the video you girls did for MAMAs it’s strong and hints at much more than you are letting on.”

Renesmee hums looking away as she just sits there sipping from her bottle. “Both songs and videos are really dark and mysterious.” Johnny continues as he looks at them girls.

The girls nod as they listen to him speak. “True they are dark but they could pull a 360 and turn back into the cute princess.” Jaehyun speaks up looking at Johnny.

Renesmee hums with a smirk as she looks down at her lap. “You’ve been rather silent tonight Nessie?” Jaehyun says looking over at her.

Renesmee smiles evilly taking another sip of her drink. Jaehyun then looks at Moka as she smile. He then turns looking at Johnny as he also takes a sip of his drink.

She tilts her head running her fingers through her hair. “I have no reason to talk anymore.” She gives a short and simple reply.

“Really you have nothing to say?”

“That’s right even if I did no one would listen to me.” She speaks leaning on the table watching him.

“It seems you have been talking less ever since the end of last year.” Jaehyun tilts his head looking at her.

“Well you know me, I’ve always been the shy type.” Renesmee smiles looking at her drink. “Is there something you want me to say?”

“Why don’t you tell us the meaning of all this.” He asks waving his hand and she sits up sitting back in her chair.

“Aw but where’s the fun in that?” Renesmee speaks teasing them as she pouts. “If I were to just tell you it will make everything boring.”

“Come on tell us about the drama everyone wants to know what’s going on.”

“Wolves are very protective over Romeo; isn’t that right?” Renesmee speaks as she looks at Johnny.

“Yes.” Johnny says nodding his head.

“What about you?” Jaehyun asks.

Renesmee smiles evilly humming. “What about me?”

Jaehyun sighs rubbing his temples. “What happened to you; did you lose your wings people want to know.” He speaks trying to get some answers.

“Wow and angel with no wings.” Sora says shaking her head.

“If I lost my wings I’d think I cry.” Roxay speaks pouting as she leans her head on Renesmee.

“But she did lose her wings?” Jaehyun says his voice sounding confuse. “Right at the concert the video….”

“That shadow thing ripped your wings?”

Renesmee smiles watching Jaehyun trying to figure it out. “I think people are reading too much into it.” She says pushing her hair back.

“Since I know what will happen I will tell you.”

“Please because this is all confusing me.” Jaehyun says shaking his head.

“Okay nothing is happening and nothing happened okay for us to lose our wings we must go against the greater power.”

Renesmee speaks nodding her head as she hold her mic. “And or someone destiny has changed and their fate is altered.”

“Okay fine good next question will there be a kiss scene?” Jaehyun asks causing Johnny to choke on his drink.

The girls start laughing looking over at him. “Come on the fans want to know; you push him away like every time he tries to kiss you.” Jaehyun continues speaking.

“Love is a tricky game especially for an angel so maybe she’s not sure if she ready to kiss him.” Moka says resting her head on her palm.

“You know he is only human after all.” Eunjin says smiling.

Renesmee hums watching them as they speaks. “I don’t know I don’t trust him still; there’s no way he’s human.” Xiaoling speaks folding her arms looking at Johnny.

“You’re right how do you really know if I’m human?” Johnny goes along with the bantering.

“I knew we shouldn’t have trusted him.” Jisoo says eyeing Johnny and he smirks leaning back in his seat.

“Oh come on you can trust Romeo, I would do nothing to hurt an angel.” Johnny smiles looking at her. “Weren’t you the one to pick me to play the part of Romeo?”

“We only picked you because you and Nessie unnie make a cute couple.” Yiyang says watching him now Renesmee coughs choking on her drink.

Roxay and Chaoxing both start laughing watching her. “Well then why don’t we get into Royal 1004 second single Broken Heart.”

Renesmee looks over at Yiyang as Jisoo hands her napkin. Yiyang just smiles watching her and Renesmee sighs getting up. Renesmee walks out the room pushing her hair back.

“I was only kidding; okay maybe not 100% but still I was just messing with her.”

“She’s not mad.” Roxay says as she sits there looking at her phone. “Trust me she’s fine.” She says nodding her head.

February 10, 2019

“SM has confrimed that Renesmee of Royal 1004 will stay with the group until the end of their first tour.”

The girls sit there watching a YouTube video. “It seems some people have mixed feelings about her leaving.” The males says looking at some notes.

“New photos and videos have popped up of Nessie having meetings or being scolded at on many different sns.”

“There are also photos and audio clips of her being bullied by managers and other workers; now I have heard stories of how idols and trainees are treated but these new findings have me worried.”

“Would you guys stop watching that and go to bed.” Renesmee says placing her bag on her shoulder. “I’ll be back and before you ask I’m fine promise.”

She smiles before leaving the dorm. The girls sit there looking at the hall before looking back at the tv. “You don’t think she’s hiding something do you?”

Renesmee makes her way back to the company. “Hurry up you’re late!” One male yells hitting her on her back as she walks past them.

“Okay I want you to go over the dance we’ve been doing!” The choreographer says pushing Renesmee to the middle of the floor.

“No slacking you wanted to stay in the group for the tour; so that means you keep your end of the deal.”

Let’s go back shall we; you see here back in December the girls had their first meeting about going on tour. So with that being said they were still talking about kicking her out the group.

But Renesmee begged to stay saying she’ll do anything. So they’d agree to let her stay if she did what they told her to do. After they agreed to let her stay that’s when the torture started.

With the late night meetings and dance practices. She was there more than anyone now. They stopped letting her help or choreography their dances. They started changing stuff little by little.

They gave her anything and everything to keep her busy. Even doing coffee runs for them. And if they didn’t like what she was doing; then she’d paid the price. If she didn’t follow what they told her she’d paid the price.

And she did all of it taking everything they throw at her just to stay. Did she tell the girls of course not. They still thought everything was okay. Which they aren’t things are very far from being ok.

Renesmee didn’t mind to much. It did help keep her up. Which she was happy about, because if she was up she couldn’t sleep. But she hardly sleep anyways. If she didn’t sleep she couldn’t have the same night terror.

Which is the main reason she didn’t sleep in the first place. She’d rather go though all this pain just to keep those images out her head.

Renesmee closes her eyes as she dances the same dance for like the 80th time. The choreographer hums watching her and he grabs one of the canes and throws it at her feet.

“Wake up!” He yells just as the cane rolls under her foot as she steps down. Renesmee gasp feeling her foot slip. She hits the floor twisting her ankle.

“Get up and start over.”

“Yes sir.” Renesmee looks at her ankle seeing the bruises from the other day still there. She quickly pushes herself up and starts dancing again.

Once she finishes doing the dance for the 1000th time she makes her way to the meeting room. “About time you got here.”

Renesmee bows apologizing to everyone. Once she is seated they start the meeting about the tour. “Now we already went over everything with you and the girls but we may add something.”

Renesmee nods sitting there listening to them. After 6 hours of sitting there her manager walks in. “What are you doing in here?”

Renesmee jumps standing up bowing. “Uh um…” Renesmee looks around the room not sure what to say. “They asked me for my help.” She lies looking at the floor biting her lip.

“Go back to the dorm now!” He says looking at her and she bows grabbing her bag limping out. “I told you all to leave her alone.”

He says scolding the others as he stands there. “You stay out of this.” One man says pointing at him.

Her manager smirks folding his arms. “Leave her alone you don’t know who you are messing with.” He speaks watching them.

“You are doing nothing but causing trouble for everyone.”

“No that….th…that thing…” The man speaks getting angry. “That unruly rude black fat ass is causing trouble!” He says and the other nod standing behind him.

“Back off or else last warning.” Her manager says before walking out the room.

February 14, 2019

“And next time you call your manager for help we won’t be so easy on you.” One of the males in suits says kicking Renesmee again she lays on the floor.

“Now get up!” One yells looking at her and she winces as she struggles to get up. “That’s a good girl now why don’t you put on your happy smile like always and go before you cause more trouble.” He speaks patting her cheek laughing.

Renesmee nods smiling as she picks up her bag. She sighs as she walks out the room closing her eyes. Renesmee makes her way to the bathroom closing the door.

She looks at the sink coughing tasting the blood in her mouth. “You can get through this….” She speaks closing her eyes. “You promised you wouldn’t leave them….”

Renesmee spits into the sink sighing. “Just do as they say….don’t cause trouble….” She keeps speaking as she fights to keep standing up. “Don’t let anyone know….don’t let them see you cry…don’t show them the pain….”

“Don’t ask for help….you can take the abuse….” She says her voice shaking as she covers her mouth. She winces in pain biting her lip. “Being bullied and abuse is nothing new to you….just have to keep quiet until it’s over.”

“Keeping quiet is the only way you’ll live….” Renesmee nods wiping her face as she fixes her hair. “Just keep smiling like always.”

Renesmee nods before pulling out her phone. “I need to buy bandages and wraps, also pain pills for ankle and ribs.” She says typing on her phone making a list. “Oh and a wrap for my wrist, gotta hide these bruise till they disappear.”

Renesmee smiles nodding as she looks at her list. “Right now smiles and be happy.” She says putting her phone back in her pocket as she walks out.

Renesmee walks down the hall bowing to everyone smiling. “Noona!” Chenle and Jisung screams running over to her. Chenle smiles hugging her.

“Hey boys.” She says hugging them laughing ignoring the pain. As they stand there Renesmee looks up seeing WinWin walk over. He bows looking at her. “Hey WinWin.”

“Hi….uh manager hyung is looking for you two.” WinWin says looking at Chenle and Jisung. They both pout looking back a Renesmee.

“Go we can hangout later promise.” She says letting them go. They both nod before running off again. “Well I’ll see you around.” She nods as she turns to walk off.

“Umm noona could you make me some of that stuff too.” WinWin asks rubbing the back of his neck. He looks at the floor biting his lip.

“Really you want some too?” Renesmee asks speaking in Chinese. WinWin hums looking back up hearing her.

“Well I tried some of hyung and it was good.” He says finally looking at her and he smiles shyly. Renesmee nods pulling her phone out making a note.

“Okay when I make theirs I’ll make you some too.” She says nodding putting her phone up. WinWin stands there watching her for a bit. “Is there something wrong?”

WinWin blinks shaking his head. “I uh well you seem close with other people…” He starts off rubbing the back of his head. “Uh I…you…can we…never mind….”

Renesmee smiles covering her mouth. “Are you saying you want to be close with me like the others?” She says biting back a giggle and WinWin looks back at her hearing her.

“You do know I not really close with everyone.” She asks and he nods looking at her. “I love to be close friends with you but…”

WinWin hums watching her as he tilts his head. “But what…why can’t we be close?” He asks and she giggles covering her mouth again.

“I like skinship as to where you don’t.” Renesmee says rocking on her toes looking up at him. WinWin smiles looking down at the floor then back at her.

“For you I can handle it.” He says putting his hands in his pockets. She smiles back at him tilting her head to the side. WinWin looks at her in disbelief. “There’s no way you were born in 95.”

“Yup in China on the 24th year of the pig.” She says looking up at him. WinWin lifts a brow watching her. She smiles watching his face. “The fans are right you are cute.”

WinWin covers his face feeling his face get red. Renesmee smiles biting her lip watching him. WinWin groans wiping his face shaking his head.

“No I won’t let you win, I can handle the teasing and skinship.” He says sounding like he was trying to convince himself more than her.

“Do you think you can?” She asks and he closes his eyes nodding. WinWin opens his eyes looking at her.

“Unnie!” Eunjin runs over to her with Moka and Yiyang. “Guess what!”

WinWin looks at them bowing and they bow back. “What?” Renesmee asks looking at them and Moka pulls out her phone.

“Our mv has over 10 million views within 3 hours.” Moka says showing Renesmee and she hums looking at the screen. Yiyang smiles nodding looking at the screen.

WinWin pulls out his phone pulling up the video. “I see well then we should go we have a stage today.” Renesmee looks at them then back at WinWin. “Bye bye Sicheng.”

Renesmee says waving to him as she leaves. WinWin freezes hearing her use his real name. He blushes waving back before going to find the others.

“Let’s go girls.” Their manager says walking pass them. They nod following him to the vans. Once they get there the girls get ready for their stage.

Renesmee manager pulls Renesmee to the side looking at her. “Are you okay?” He asks looking at her and Renesmee bites her lip pulling free.

“I can’t cause trouble.” She says backing away from him. He looks at her then looks at her arm. “I’m fine I don’t need he….”

She starts to speaks but he grabs her arm and she gasp as he pushes against her side. Renesmee falls to her knees shaking and he sighs. “Your ribs are bruised and so is your arm.”

Renesmee groans pulling free getting back up. “I get your my manager but you are making it worse.” She closes her eyes going back to the others.

The girls get on stage getting ready to prerecord One Wish. Once they finish they go and get change for their live stage.

“Hey sis you okay you’re starting to shake?” Jisoo says placing her hand on Renesmee shoulder. Renesmee grabs her tumblr taking a sip of her drink.

“Yeah I’m fine sis.” Renesmee smiles looking up at her as she sits there. Jisoo smiles nodding before walking to the door. “Let’s go out there and have fun.”

February 24, 2019

Renesmee walks up to NCT dorm holding some bags. She knocks on the door waiting smiling as she hears Ten and Jungwoo fighting to get to the door.

“Really guys calm down.” Johnny says opening the door. “Nessie!” He says smiling and she bows watching him.

“You wanna grab the boxes right there?” She steps to the side ticking her head to the side. She steps inside bowing to the others. Johnny nods walking over grabbing the boxes following her.

She walks down the hall following the sound of the yelling boys. “Noona!” Chenle says seeing Renesmee and she smiles.

WinWin pulls him back walking up to Renesmee in three steps. “Happy birthday.” He says speaking Chinese and Renesmee hums as he hugs her.

“Hey!” Chenle says looking at WinWin as he wraps his arms around Renesmee. Renesmee giggles watching him and she looks up at WinWin.

“I’m her baby back off.” Chenle says pulling Renesmee away from him and she looks at him.

“How are you her baby?” Taeyong asks sitting there watching him. Renesmee hugs Chenle then bows to the others setting the bags down.

“Since when are you her baby?”

“Since she told me I was.” Chenle says looking at Taeyong and he smirks.

“He’s not lying.” She adds.

“Here you go boys.” Renesmee smiles as she pulls out the tumblrs. “Are you all making sure that you are washing the others out?” She asks before looking at WinWin handing his.

“Wow I get my own?” He asks and she nods smiling.

“Yeah you have to have your own it has your own symbol.” She says looking at him smiling and he nods.

“This is how you spend your birthday?” Taeil asks watching her and she nods. “Really?”

“Well they were doing one of those things where I can spend my birthday with the fans but…”

“You’re not going are you?” Johnny asks taking his new tumblr. Renesmee bites her lip sighing before looking at him.

“No one will be there, so why go?” She says looking at him and he shakes his head. “Plus for some reason my manager doesn’t want me up at the company at night anymore.”

“Because you over work yourself.” Ten says sitting on the couch looking at her. He grabs his tumblr taking a swig.

“Anyways no mixing them you guys.” She speaks pushing her hair back. Johnny opens one box.

“Why does this one have my name and that has Chenle?” Jisung asks looking at the boxes.

“I talked to your boys manager getting info; only drink from the one with your name.” She points to them and they nod.

“It will help with your health and diet.” She rubs her neck tilting her head to the side. “This should last till the end of next month.”

Johnny nods smiling picking up one box. Taeyong grabs one and Ten grabs the last one. “We had to convince our manager we needed a second fridge for this stuff.”

Jisung says as they put the boxes up to keep them cold. Jungwoo and Kun come walking back holding some bags. “Happy birthday noona.”

They say handing her the bags and she gasps holding them. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” She says looking at them then down at the bags.

“We know but we saw them and knew we had to get it.” Kun says smiling as he watches her. “Besides we have the other set.”

“Yeah we had to ask Jisoo noona for your size.” Jungwoo says nodding and Renesmee laughs as she nods pulling out the jacket.

Mark walks in with Haechan holding bags as well. “We got you something too.” They say putting them on the table.

“We all got you something.” Jaehyun smiles bringing more bags out and Renesmee covers her mouth looking at the bags.

“Yeah some of us did the couple clothes and some of us got you other stuff.” Doyoung speaks and she nods looking at everything.

“You’ll know what is from who.” Mark says nodding and she hums.

“Oh me and Ten got you extra stuff to go along more with our group.” Taeyong says looking at the bag then smiles pointing to the black bag.

Ten smiles wrapping his arms around Renesmee. “For our devil leader.” He says and she tilts her head looking at him.

“Speaking of devil I may have a few new songs for us.” She says wiggling out his arms picking up some of the bags. “But I have to go so I will talk to you boys later.”

WinWin grabs some bags as Jungwoo takes the ones from Renesmee hands and she pouts. “Bye.” Chenle says hugging her.

“Bye bye my baby.” Renesmee smiles again hugging him. Renesmee then bows to the others waving bye. She heads to the door walking outside to her car.

“Thanks boys.” She says thanking them as she bows. The boys shake their head putting the bags in the car. She hugs them bye before getting into the car.

Renesmee looks at her phone sighing as she takes off down the road. She makes her way to EXO house looking at the time. She walks up to the door knocking carrying three boxes.

Chanyeol opens the door and hums seeing the boxes. “Uh?” He says looking down and Renesmee tilts her head hearing him. He jumps back then takes the boxes.

Renesmee follows him inside looking around. “Nessie is here.” Chanyeol says and Jongin jumps up running over taking a box then the bag out of her hand.

“My supply is here yes.” Jongin says smiling pulling out his tumblr. Renesmee bows to the others looking at the floor. “Why haven’t you been answering my calls and text?”

“Umm busy?” She says looking down at her feet thinking. “Yeah I was busy.” She nods biting her lip.

“You’re fucking lying Nessie.” He quips watching her. Chanyeol walks back from the kitchen holding his tumblr.

“Okay wolf boy you have your supply take it easy.” She says looking back towards the door. “Wolves don’t even drink blood.”

“Not true.” Kyungsoo says walking out the kitchen. “When wolves kill their prey they drink the blood as they eat the meat.”

He stands there drinking from his tumblr. “Right.” Renesmee says backing away nodding.

“Happy birthday!” Minseok says walking over hugging her. Renesmee closes her eyes sighing. “You don’t sound happy?”

“No um it’s not that just a little hard to breathe.” She says pushing her hair back stepping away from him. “To many hugs today.”

“But you love hugs.” Baekhyun says watching her and she looks away.

“Nessie your ankle has been swollen for a good while now why?” Junmyeon asks looking at her and she freezes.

“I have to go, I still have to stop by Red Velvet sunbaemin.” Renesmee turns walking back to the door but Chanyeol grabs her wrist.

“Ow!” She screams looking at his hand. He pushes her sleeve up looking at her. Renesmee whimpers trying to pull free.

“There are bruises all over her arms.” Chanyeol says looking at the others.

“I’m sure that’s not the only place either.” Jongdae says and she looks over at him.

“Stop running.” Chanyeol says pulling her back and she sighs. Renesmee looks at the floor pulling free.

“Like I told my manager I’m not going to cause trouble.” Renesmee looks up at him before looking away. “Don’t worry about me beside you boys have a tour to worry about.”

Renesmee starts to walk away but stops looking up seeing Jongin. “What are you hiding?” He says looking at her and she sighs shaking her head.

“Move.”

“No.”

Renesmee scoffs looking away. “See I can get past NCT but you boys notice everything.” She folds her arms watching him.

Renesmee pulls her sleeve down sighing as she shakes her head. “What did you mean Chen?” Minseok asks looking at him.

“That’s because we care about you.” Sehun says and the others nods agreeing with him.

“Thank you but I’m fine.”

“Are you really leaving?” Jongdae asks standing up and she freezes hearing him. “Are the stories true about what’s been going on?”

“How do you know about that?” Renesmee speaks her voice cold and hard as she turns to look at him. “I made sure they were taken down.”

Jongdae shakes his head looking at her. “Well I was watching a video and it popped up.” He speaks watching her and she scoffs.

“What are you talking about?” Junmyeon asks looking at Jongdae.

“They we’re kicking her out after their first tour; she’s been getting hurt just….”

“Don’t.” Renesmee says looking at him her eyes cold and hard. She stands there her heart pounding. “Don’t say another word.” She balls her fist up as she stand there.

“What is going on?” Kyungsoo steps up looking at her and she sighs. “Start talking.” He says his voice hitting her and she looks up.

“I’m not leaving and my ankle is swollen because I fell during practice.” She says lying looking at them. “They told me to stay off of it but I don’t listen so that’s why it’s like that.”

“I really think it’s cute how you all worry about me…” Renesmee bows to them smiling as she stands back up. “But really I’m fine I promise you guys.”

“Fine we’ll let it go.” Junmyeon says nodding before walking to his room. He walks back holding a box.

“Not you too.” She whines pouting looking at the wrapped gift box. “I said no presents.” She looks at the box taking it and Junmyeon just laughs.

“Hey I’m not the only one.” He says and she looks back seeing the other gifts on the table.

“Just put them with the rest in the car.” She pouts looking at the floor. Chanyeol and Junmyeon grab the gifts taking them to the car.

“Hey hyung where is your gift?” Jongin asks looking at the gifts as they carry them out. Kyungsoo shakes his head walking off drinking his drink.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping or something.” He replies and Renesmee covers her mouth trying not to laugh.

“D.O oppa I’m fine really you don’t have to look so worried.” She says and he stops looking back at her. Renesmee smiles looking at him and he nods.

“Since when are you two friends again?” Baekhyun asks looking at them.

“Don’t ruin it.” Kyungsoo says looking at Baekhyun before heading to his room. Renesmee looks back at Jongin with a smirk.

“Wipe that smirk off your face or I talk.” Jongin says and her face drops as she stands there. “That’s what I thought.”

“Are you always this mean?” She asks looking at him. “Bye and thank you.” Renesmee says leaving heading to Red Velvet dorm.

Once Renesmee drops off their supply she heads back to the dorm. She sighs as she makes about 10 trips back and forth bring her gifts into her room.

“Can’t believe I have to sit out of promotions because of my ankle.” She says changing clothes. She sits on the bed wrapping her ankle back up.

She rest her head on her knee sighing. “Maybe there is a way around this?” She says looking at her foot as she wiggles her toes.

Renesmee looks over hearing her phone ring. “Hello.” She says standing up grabbing her bag.

“Well are you coming down?” Kyungsoo says and she smirks walking out the door. Renesmee end the call heading outside. As she walks out she pulls her hat down looking at her phone.

She opens the door getting into the car looking at him. She buckled up as she closes the door. “You know for someone who said they are to busy to date you don’t seem too busy.”

“Shut up.” He says pulling down the street and she just laughs. “So want to tell me the rest of the truth.”

“I do but I can’t at least not right now.” Renesmee says looking down at her lap. Kyungsoo hums reaching over with one hand grabbing hers. “Like I said before I’m okay promsie.”

She looks at him and he nods lifting her hand up to his lips. “Okay good.” He smiles holding her hand.

“So what did you get me?” She asks and he just laughs hearing her.

“You have to wait.” He says and she pouts looking at him. “Mm the pout won’t work on me.”

“Fine where are we going?” Renesmee asks pulling her phone out her pocket.

“Well seeing how it’s too cold to go to your favorite spot I called your mom and ask can we use the house.” Kyungsoo says looking at her and she hums tilting her head.

“You seem very close with my mom.” Renesmee says as she leans in closer looking at him. Kyungsoo nods looking back at the road as he drives. “Why is that?”

“One because she helped me and two your surprise is at the house.” He deadpans and her face lights up.

“To the house!” She points sitting back up smiling. Kyungsoo laughs shaking his head turning the corner. After a few more minutes of driving Kyungsoo pulls into the driveway parking.

He looks over at her before turning the car off. “Come on before you pass out from excitement.” He says getting out the car and she smiles following him.

“Are you going to tell me now?” Renesmee asks walking behind him holding his hand. Kyungsoo shakes his head opening the door. “Come on please.”

“Calm down okay.” He says laughing walking in taking his shoes off. Renesmee takes her shoes off before looking back up.

“I smell chicken!” She says running down the hall. Kyungsoo laughs closing the door before following her. “Ahhh a giant penguin!”

Renesmee yells jumping up and down clapping her hands. She runs over to it jumping on top of it. Kyungsoo laughs watching her as he takes her picture.

“It’s so fluffy!”

Renesmee smiles hugging the giant plushie penguin. She then looks up hearing him as he walks over. “Having fun?” He asks sitting on the couch next to her.

“Yes!” She smiles still laying on top of the penguin. Kyungsoo laughs before patting the spot next to him.

“There’s more.”

“Really?” She asks sitting up and he nods pulling a few bags out. “Ooh gimmie gimmie.” She says sitting next to him and he laughs covering his mouth.

Kyungsoo smiles handing her the first bag. Renesmee looks at the bag smiling. “What is it?” She says looking back at him.

“Open it silly.”

Renesmee hums taking the paper out looking in the bag. “No way you got me the new gaming controllers and headphones.” She screams tapping her feet on the floor smiling.

“I know how much you love gaming so why not.” He says handing her another bag. She bites her lip still smiling.

“Ahhhh!” She screams again pulling the paper out seeing part of the outfit already. “Constellation and galaxies pjs and hats.”

“Yes and the other bag has them as well but hoodies.” He says watching her then looks back at the kitchen. She nods hugging her pjs feeling the material.

“What’s next?”

“Here.” He says handing her a box.

Renesmee hums looking at the box as she holds it. She shakes the box holding it up to her ear. “Really?” He sits there watching her tilting his head.

“Just open it already.”

Renesmee smiles ripping the paper off tossing it to the floor. “Hmmm aren’t these yours?” She asks looking at the sweaters.

“Yes they are I know you love taking my sweaters when ever you get the chance.”

He says standing going to check on the food. “I even know that you ask Kai or Chanyeol to take them and give them to you.” He says watching the chicken and she hums her face heating up.

“That’s cause they smell like you.”

“Mmhmm but there still more.” He says taking the chicken out the fryer. “Look under the sweaters.”

Renesmee hums going through the sweaters. “Well what is it?” She asks trying to find what he is talking about. As she lifts one of the sweaters a black box fall to the floor.

“Huh?”

Renesmee leans down picking the box up. Kyungsoo looks back over watching her as he fixes their plates. She sits back up looking at the box pushing the sweaters and hoodies to the side.

“Are you going to open it?” He asks pouring two glasses of wine. She slowly blinks nodding as she bites her lip opening the box. Kyungsoo smiles watching her face as her eyes widen in shock.

Renesmee covers her mouth seeing the heart necklace. Kyungsoo reaches over taking the necklace out the box holding it up. “I had it custom made.”

Renesmee turns her head looking at him. “Added the wings and a shooting star.” He says smiling and she blinks looking back at the necklace. Kyungsoo tilts his head looking at her and he chuckles.

“Do you not like it?”

Renesmee shakes her head processing his words. “Turn around so I can put it on you.” He speaks watching her and she slowly turns her back to him. She reaches back moving her hair out the way.

Kyungsoo chuckles watching as she moves slowly and he places the necklace around her neck. “Your own wishing star.” He says as he clips the hook on and she lets go of her hair looking back at him.

“Happy birthday Tweety bird.” He says looking at her. Renesmee leans into him tilting her head. She blinks gently placing her hand on his thigh as she leans in.

Kyungsoo looks at her sitting there with his hands in his lap. Renesmee presses her lips against his closing her eyes. Kyungsoo tilts his head closing his eyes.

Kyungsoo reaches up with his hand touching her cheek gently rubbing his thumb across. Renesmee slowly pulls back looking at him. “I love you.”

Kyungsoo looks at her smiling and he nods. “I love you too.” He says before kissing her again. Renesmee grabs his other hand leaning into him more smiling. She pulls away hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

Kyungsoo chuckles looking down at her. “What has gotten into you?” He laughs watching her and she shakes her head. “Come on lets eat now.”

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰⚔️🐲 - DMODT- 30 full... according to ao3, this 30...

No one was about to argue with the crown prince as Levi carried Eren through the gates of the barracks. Letting Erwin organise everything, they were shown through to their quarters for the duration of their stay. The room wasn't up to Levi's standards in terms of cleanliness, with the smell of clove cigarettes soaked into the fabrics of the room. Laying Eren down, Levi unclipped his fur coat, about to move away when Eren's hand grabbed his arm weakly. Turning back, he sank down onto the bed, reaching up to cup his boyfriend's cheek "Hey, you. I thought you were sleeping" "Mmm, was. Where are we?" "At the barracks. Armin is with Erwin" "That's good... I'm..." "Don't say you're sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for" "I ran away" "Really? I hadn't noticed" "I'm sorry for making you worry" "I understand. It... it hurt you left, but when I talked with Erwin, he made me understand how hard it must have been for you to be there" "I wanted to... ask Historia, but I didn't dare..." Gently sliding his thumb across the tear mark on Eren's cheek, the omega nuzzled into the touch "It hurt so much. M-my stupid magic wouldn't work... I thought I was going to die" "There was so much blood, and your body so weak. I feared I'd lose you, but you fought so hard. I was so proud. I am so proud of you" Eren grew teary again, turning his face away "I'm sick of feeling like this... I'm sick of crying, but I can't stop thinking about them" "They've been on my mind too. I had no idea what to do, expect be there with you" "That's all I need... but I understand if you no longer hold affection for me. You deserve children, and someone who can give you them" "Children aren't everything. I don't love you because you are supposed to be able to give birth. I love you because you're always giving your best, and trying your hardest for Eldia. You care more the people of the kingdom than yourself. Besides, you're now the public lover of the prince" Eren groaned at him "I still can't believe you did that. We agreed to keep this in the shadows, that we could never be more than what we were" "Between Petra and Zeke, and your disappearance, I lost my head. Normally I am much more composed" "I know... It's... it's been hard not being with you. I needed sometime to recover, and I needed to think, but all I could think was that you were angry and disgusted with me" "I thought you were beautiful as you fought to birth your clutch. I know it caused you pain, but your swollen stomach and small breasts, watching the eggs slide from you, dripping with my come... you... you're amazing" Honestly, Levi had found the whole birth erotic. While he'd been scared for his lover, Eren's vulnerable state did all kinds of things to him that he didn't think possible. Rolling away, Eren pushed his face into the pillow "I'll... I'll never be like that again" Shit. He didn't think his reassuring words through "I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I'm shit at this. What I'm trying to say is that I didn't find it disgusting" "I feel so empty. I knew they were dead. I thought if I could just find somewhere to give birth, you'd never find out... I knew they were dead, Levi. I knew it... why can't I get over this?! Why am I so fucking weak?!" Climbing over Eren, Levi spooned up behind him. Kissing his boyfriend's shoulder, he slid his right hand down Eren's arm until he found the omega's hand, interlacing their fingers "You're not weak. You've just been through something heartbreaking. I know you don't cry unless something is truly wrong. These tears don't make me mad, or make me care any less. If you'll remember, you weren't the only one to cry..." "This is all my fault. I shouldn't... I shouldn't be like this, over what happened" "Don't talk like that. Sometimes life isn't fair. Here, get some rest. Zeke is off doing his own thing until dinner, then you'll be on my arm" "But... my face" "Is beautiful" "The scales make people uncomfortable" "Fuck them. I dropped the ball when I didn't realise you were pregnant... you were right there... and I was so busy with work, I didn't know" "No... no, I didn't want you to see... I didn't want to get your hopes up..." Eren's breath hitched before he began to cough. He hated Eren's coughing fits, his lover seemed so pained each time, yet he couldn't do anything about it "Shit, brat..." "I don't feel very good" "You're exhausted and you need to rest" Eren's coughing continued into gagging, releasing his lover, Eren scrambled to sit on the edge of the bed, drooling and heaving until he finally threw up a tiny puddle of sick. Crawling to sit behind Eren, he rubbed his back gently "Better?" "Mmm... my stomach's felt off tender since..." "Your magic hasn't healed it?" "No... its not like it's sore, just tender" "Is that why you're not eating?" "Kind of... the first few days... I was still... not in a good headspace" "I'd say you're still not. If I have food brought to the room, will you eat?" Eren sighed as he slumped back against him, both hands moving to rest on his stomach "Maybe... being with you... it makes it better" Levi's heart gave a funny little jump with happiness at Eren's words. There wasn't much to be happy about right now, but his lover wanted to be with him "Something soft?" "Porridge... but not too much" "And some tea" Eren nodded, rubbing his forehead against Levi's cheek "You and your tea" "You're the same. Just because it doesn't have your fancy herbs..." "Ginger is good for an upset stomach... but just the thought of it makes me feel sick" "Do you want to take a shower? Or a bath? These are the barrack leader's quarters, so there's both a private shower and bath" "A shower... I don't think I'll stay awake if I have a bath" "You can take as long as you like. No one expects to see us until tonight. Erwin's organising clothes for you and Armin" "Levi, no offence, but I don't feel like sex" "I didn't mean to make it sound like that was what I had in mind. I just wanted you to rest. Zeke wants to speak with you. There was a rumour that you're heavily pregnant, and now he wants to see if those rumours were true" "I don't know if you told me or not... my head's really fuzzy" "Try not to think too much about it. I'll take care of everything" "I know you will. I'm going to take that shower now" Eren managed to fall asleep standing in the shower, Levi growing concerned when the food he'd asked to be to brought up, arrived before Eren exited the bathroom. Slumped against the wall, Eren was snoring while the water ran down his back and dripped off his arse. Other than a slight widening of his hips, Levi couldn't see any signs of him having been pregnant. No stretch marks. No cute little breasts with engorged nipples. Shaking his head, Levi turned the water off, Eren mumbling something unintelligible as he just about tripped over his feet, turning towards him. Grabbing the top towel set out on the bathroom vanity, he bundled Eren up, before carrying him out to the bed, the teen a clingy mess as nuzzled into Levi's neck. He couldn't deny it. Clingy Eren was absolutely adorable... until the towel grew soaked and Eren grew cold. Drying him down, he had nothing for his boyfriend to wear, so wrapped him back up in his cloak, then settled them both down on the bed, the tray of food placed to sit beside them. Trying his luck at feeding Eren one handed, he managed to shove the spoon into Eren's nose, Eren laughing softly as he stretched against him "You don't need to feed me" "You're pretty much asleep, but you need to eat" "Just let me handle it... wasn't I in the shower?" "You fell asleep standing up. I didn't have clothes for you yet, so..." "No. It's ok... you should have woken me properly" "Maybe I wanted to try feeding you?" He didn't know what he was supposed to do anymore. What the boundaries were, or what Eren was going to think once he wasn't off in la-la land "My nose says otherwise" Yawning, Eren wiped porridge against Levi's cheek as he tried to nuzzle him. The omega then letting out an unimpressed huff "Fine feed yourself then, but you're sleeping once you've eaten" Reaching for a napkin off the tray, by the time he'd turned back to Eren, the teen's head was lolled back as he let out a loud snore. God. What was he going to do with him? * Eren had been so sure Levi would no longer love him. He'd been an absolute mess as he pined for his alpha, and his lost clutch, leaving Armin trying to comfort him over something he knew nothing about. Convinced he'd lost both, he gave up completely, until Erwin sent word to Armin that Levi wished to see Eren. Well, Levi sent word to Armin that the Prince wished to see him. Now that Armin knew he was dating the prince, he didn't feel quite so shit about turning up on his door. The main issue now was how everyone else was going to take it, and by that, he meant Mikasa. The girl had wanted to be there for him, but she could conceive. She could still have children. She hadn't thrown away her chance to save her boyfriend's life, only for her boyfriend to be the sweetest and most understanding man in existence. Levi didn't blame him, and Eren couldn't bare to tell him that it had all been for him. Levi would be crushed, and if he wasn't angry at him now... he would be once he learned the real truth. It may have been cowardly, but as long as it was still a secret, he could remain by Levi's side... apparently publicly now. He couldn't believe his boyfriend had been so stupid, even if he was grateful he wasn't going to be handed to Marley where he'd be treated like dirt. Armin and Erwin arrived about half an hour before they were due down at dinner. Despite having access to castle funds, and probably more clothes than Armin could imagine, he'd chosen simple black pants with a white shirt... like a mini-version of Erwin. Even their hair was styled similarly. Armin had it so bad for Erwin, that Eren didn't know he'd realised he'd mirrored the alpha, or if everything had been Erwin's suggestion. Whatever it was, it was sweet in its own way, leading him to find his first true smile in days. Levi showered while Eren dressed, Armin and Erwin waiting outside for them. The omega had been given both a set of robes, and an outfit of black with silver accents. Remembering what Levi had said about Zeke, Eren chose the black outfit. The shirt clinging to his lean lines, leaving not much to imagination, and clearly showing he wasn't pregnant. The pants were a little bit tight, his hips had seemed to grow, as had his arse. Nothing a little bit of magic didn't fix, but it wasn't a great feeling, given he was already feeling somewhat self-conscious about his body. After all, stupid Zeke wanted to look at him. Only Levi got to see him like that, and he wasn't in the mood for sex... which wasn't exactly normal when he was alone with Levi. When Levi came out the shower, his boyfriend whistled at him. Eren frowning back at his alpha, too nervous for flirty. All he could think about was Zeke wanting to marry him off to some stranger. Would it have even mattered who? Or would it have been anyone eager to fuck a slut of an omega... and if he did see Zeke, would the man expect him to strip? Would he believe he wasn't pregnant, and that there wasn't a clutch? How did he prove to a man like Zeke that he wasn't actually fertile? He only like Levi touching him, because no one else could ever compare "Don't be like that. You look perfect" "I don't feel perfect. Zeke's going to be watching me..." Eren's hands went to his stomach pushing against the flat surface. Not even the slightest swell remained... just a chronic emptiness. His heat hadn't even come, and it'd been days... it wasn't like he could ask Armin about these things "And if he does anything, I'll..." "You can't do anything. You've probably wounded his pride so badly he's already plotting his next evil scheme against the kingdom!" Shit. He'd snapped. He didn't mean to snap. He just felt so incredibly sick about what would come next. Dropping the towel, Levi stepped out of it, Eren blushing as he turn away. His new line of thought on Levi's body... It should be illegal to be that sexy. Levi's smooth white skin was marred with small scars from war. His perfectly sculpted abs, and his long thick dick half hard, standing out from his neatly trimmed pubes... How was supposed to not be aroused by that? "Something wrong?" "Wha? No... you're supposed to be getting dressed" Walking up behind him, Levi wrapped his arms around him "Really? I can smell you. Your fear. You have nothing to be afraid of" "I don't know, I'm being stabbed in the arse right now" "I can't help myself, when I'm with the man I love, I can't help but to want to hold him" "You can hold me all you like, but I'm not... ok with sex right now" "I'm not asking for sex. I know you're nervous, so I wanted to hold you. To make you feel better... I don't know what I'm doing, it's usually you holding me" Turning in Levi's arms, Eren sighed. Neither of them really knew what to do in a relationship. If it wasn't Levi calming him down, it was Eren reminding the alpha he couldn't go to war with all the idiots in the world "I'm sorry. I'm nervous, and snapping because of it. You being so sexy isn't helping either... can you please get dressed? I'm either going to faint with nerves or throw up again, if we don't leave soon" "Here, come here" Led with Levi walked backwards, his boyfriend turned him at the last moment and pushed him down to sit. Kneeling down, Levi rubbed both wrists against his neck, scenting him "You're mine. No one is going to touch you. Just stay by my side, and if you do get separated from me, go to Erwin or to Armin" "I feel really pathetic right now" "No. It's fine. Even I hate these dinner things. Everything has to be tasted first. All the staff need to be checked, as does everything coming in. We have to make sure that Prince Pin-dick is served Marley cuisine, because Eldian food isn't good enough for him. Then we have to listen to his insults. You know, a fun filled night for all" "And don't forget all their scents. It's a tad overwhelming sometimes. You can never not smell when alpha's are horny, or interested" "If they touch you, I'll kill them" "Don't talk about death so easily" "Anyone who forces themselves upon another..." Levi shook his head, pulling away as he moved to busy himself with dressing "Levi?" "It's fine. I won't let them hurt you" Erwin and Armin were still waiting in the hall, Levi taking his hand to guide Eren through the halls. He didn't know how Levi could possibly be so calm, they were about to make their first public appearance together... as a couple. A dragon and a cursed prince. It was some kind of bad joke. As they walked, the noise of the crowd grew louder, Eren stumbling pathetically "It's fine" "It's not fine. This is a terrible idea" He wished he had a sliver of Levi's confidence. Piping up from behind them, he could practically feel Armin nodding behind them as they walked "Eren, you're dating the crown prince. No one is going to say anything" "Armin, I have a face full of scales, and people think I'm pregnant. I think everyone's going to be saying something. Not to mention, I've been dating the prince, and Mikasa doesn't know" Armin let out a less than comforting "oh", while Levi squeezed his hand. If Eren didn't know better, he'd say Levi was slightly scared of Mikasa. God. This wasn't going to be fun at all. For some reason, the guard at the door felt the need to announce Levi's arrival as "Prince Erwin, and his consort, Eren". Well. It wasn't like he had a chance of entering unnoticed... but any chance that he might have prayed for disappeared. There was clapping, which he had no idea how to respond to, then everyone went back to what they were doing, which seemed to be talking about him. Led by Levi to the high dining table, his chair was pulled out by an attendant, seperate to the attendant attending to Levi. He hated eating in front of everyone, nor did he feel as if he was supposed to be sitting at the same table as Zeke and Levi... and Petra. On Levi's "side" of the table, it was Levi, Eren, Erwin, Armin, then Petra... something Petra looked quite sour over. Eren severely regretted having noticed Petra. Not only was Petra the ex-fiancée, she was now being forced to acknowledge Levi had taken him as his public lover. Scanning the room, he regretted his actions further when his eyes met Mikasa's. Hurt didn't come close to the emotions on her face, neither did confused. Placing his hand on his, Levi squeezed as he leaned in "It'll all be ok. We can talk to her after dinner" If he made it through dinner... It was supposedly easy. You used the knife to cut your food, and your fork to guide the food from your plate to your mouth on a civilised way. Eren fucking choked. Staring down at the two objects in his hands, it was like he'd forgotten how to use them. Even though the rest of the room was making enough noise to hide any small slip ups, he kept catching pieces of conversation, which led to his plate accident being flooded with gravy, and peas being spilt to the floor. The topic of the night was "how the prince had taken a monster for a lover", and "how did they know that Eren hadn't bewitched the prince?". No one in the room trusted him. At the castle, the magic dulled the voices, but there was no such magic here. Further down the table, on Marley's side, a few of the soldiers were discussing how sex with a dragon would even work, and if Eren had more scales beneath his clothes. The worst was of all the voices, was the one he couldn't hear. Mikasa's squad had asked her about him, but when she'd told them she knew nothing, they'd all continued to pester her only to receive no reply. Yeah. Everything was just fucking fine. Having failed the food part of dinner, it became the drinking part of dinner. Marley wine was made available to everyone, while Zeke bragged about the vineyards of Marley. Most of the grapes actually came from Eldia these days. Shipped to Marley to be turned to wine, then sold to Eldia at an inflated price. Silently excusing himself, Eren made for Mikasa, only for Mikasa to turn an make a beeline for the rooms double doors. Following her, her pain lingered in the air as she strode from the room, disappearing before he could reach the doorway. Following his nose, he found Mikasa sitting on the ledge of a small bubbling fountain. In her hands was the scarf Eren had gifted her as children "Mikasa?" "Go away, Eren" "Mikasa, please" "I do not wish to speak to you" It didn't stop him, walking over, he stopped a meter or so short of the female alpha "Then listen to me. I didn't mean to hurt you" "How long?" So she did want to speak? Why did women have to be so confusing? "He is my master. He has been since I took my vows" "That was over a year ago" "I know" "Then why didn't you tell me?! You knew how I felt" "I... did..." "Was it a joke to you? Did you care at all?" "Of course I did" "Then why?! Why wouldn't you tell me? I'm your sister!" "I couldn't..." Mikasa growled, pulling the scarf so taunt Eren thought it tear "Couldn't or wouldn't?!" "I couldn't... He's the prince" "And I'm your family! You lied to me! You lied to Armin! Did... did it make you feel better to lie to us?" "What? No. And I couldn't. He's the Prince of Eldia. It's not like I expected this to become public" "Did he threaten you? Did he force you into this? Force himself upon you?! I'll kill him!" "Mikasa... it's not like that" "Have you used protection?! Don't tell me you were stupid enough to believe him... Don't tell me this has become public because you're pregnant?!" "I'm not pregnant" "Then why?!" Ouch. That hurt... was it really impossible that they could care for each other "Why?!" "Why, what?" "Why him?! His engagement has barely dissolved, and you're in his bed!" "Mikasa, you are being completely unreasonable!" "Answer the question. Did you not care he was engaged?! Did you care at all about his fiancée as you spread your legs and let him fuck you" Eren's hands dropped to his sides. Clenching them into fists, he shook with anger, letting his tongue get the better of him as he replied cooly "I was fucking him before he was engaged. I was fucking him before we knew I was a dragon, and he never wanted to be engaged. And besides, it doesn't matter how many times he fucks me, I can't have children. I'm infertile Mikasa" Mikasa's sent changed from anger to sorrow "Eren... I didn't know" "Of course you didn't. How was I supposed to tell you that I have heats, but can never have children? As if you could understand. You're an alpha, you don't have to deal with people want to fuck and breed you, simply because you're an omega" "I..." "No. I'm done Mikasa. I came out here because I wanted to make things right between us. You're my sister, and that won't change. Even while I was at the sanctuary, I used to think of you and Armin, the trouble we used to get into. I used to think we could have those days again. That we could get them back, but all I can do is keep moving forward. I never asked for Erwin's marriage to be dissolved. I urged him to wed to secure peace, but he made this choice for himself" "He's taking advantage of you!" "How?! How, Mikasa? Because I sleep with him? Because he looks after me, and makes sure I'm ok?! You've done nothing but take your anger out on me and make me feel like a slut, when the only person I've slept with is the man I chose to love" "Your a dragon. Your magic and your scales..." "He loves my scales. I was nervous to tell him I'd been invited to Draecia, but he knew how badly I wanted to go, so he let me. He made sure my time there wouldn't go against the vow to the kingdom I made" "You're..." "He makes me happy" "If you're so happy, why are you here? Why did you spend the week having screaming nightmares, and clinging to Armin? If you're happy, why weren't you with him" "Because I can't have children and I have a heat approaching. How would you feel if your partner was an omega who'd found they couldn't have children. That heats and ruts would never lead to a clutch or a child? How would your partner feel? I fell apart. I fell apart and I fucking ran from him. And you know what, he came here to make sure I was ok" "Don't flatter yourself. He's here to see Prince Zeke off. Prince Zeke has requested your presence" Fucking Petra. What could be worse than a woman scorned? Two women scorned. Two pissed off alphas... With his heartbeat racing in his eardrums, Eren shook his head quickly "I am not having this argument with either of you. The prince has chosen me. And I am sorry you were both hurt. Petra, I believe you genuinely did love him. Mikasa, I am sorry I couldn't love you, for more than the most amazing sister I could ask for" Leaving the area, Petra glared as he walked past. He hadn't wanted anyone to be hurt, and it was Petra's fault for clinging to a dream Levi had said would never happen. Trying to keep it together, he knew his scent was betraying him. It would have hurt far less if Mikasa had struck him, rather than seemed so disappointed in his choices. She wasn't his mother and she needed to stop acting as if she was. She needed to find her own path, like he'd found his... though he'd ended up on his path by pure accident. Returning to the dining hall, the party was still underway. Zeke and Levi were engaged in what seemed to be a tense conversation without Erwin there to "keep the peace", Eren sighing to himself as he walked around the outside of the room, and stepped up onto the slightly raised level where the high table sat. Continuing along, he moved to stand just behind and between both alphas chairs "I was informed you wished to speak to me?" Zeke's smile didn't reach his eyes as he looked him up and down "I've heard a rumour that you were pregnant" "I'm sorry you've been misinformed, as you can see, I am not" "I can't see" Eren blinked a dozen times in confusion. What? He knew Zeke wasn't blind... "What?" "I cannot see. Take your shirt off" Levi growled... This was probably Zeke's revenge for Levi shaming him, by shaming Eren in return "How can I confirm he is indeed not carrying, if I cannot see his stomach?" "It's plain to everyone. The rumour in question stated that Eren was heavily pregnant, as you can see, he is not" "I don't believe it, and I won't that easily. Remove your shirt" Eren jumped and flinched as Levi slammed his hand down on the table "He's not fucking pregnant!" "Then prove it! Or is there some other reason why he should not remove his shirt? I have warned you, I will not take kindly to you lying to Marley over this. Either he takes his shirt off, or he admits he's carrying" Eren sincerely wished he could magically turn Zeke to stone. The anger of the two men had drawn the attention of most of the room. Swallowing hard, his fingers shook as his hands moved to start unbuttoning his shirt "Eren..." Levi's voice was a warning growl, but if the two alphas continued to bicker, things could get a whole lot worse "It's fine, your majesty. I'm not pregnant, and if this proves it, it's fine" Zeke looked unbearable smug as Eren stripped off his shirt. The dining room seeming so much colder as goosebumps erupted across his bare skin. Rising from his seat, Zeke placed a hand on his stomach, Eren nearly vomiting at the touch. Pulling a crystal pendant from his pocket with his other hand, the man held it near his stomach "What are you doing?! Get your hands off of him!" Levi looked enraged, Zeke merely sighing as he looked to the pendant. Eren had no idea what the pendant meant, only that it glowed ever so faintly, before turning black "What the fuck is that?" "A little stone to confirm the truth. It seems he is indeed not pregnant" No fucking shit... Levi growled softly "Then you're done with this ridiculous line of enquiry!?" "It would seem the case" The way Zeke met his gaze, Eren felt as if that was very much not the "case". It was like he was seeing right through him, and like he knew about the clutch "Put your shirt back on, your causing a scene" Pulling his hand away, Eren took half a step back as he sucked down a breath. Trying to do his buttons up, he gave a small whimper as his hand slipped. Having reappeared to Levi's side when Zeke had started making a scene, Erwin turned him from everyone trying eyes, pulling him half a step forward to make sure his chest was hidden from everyone watching by the high back of the wooden chair Levi was sitting in "Eren?" Like a knife and fork, he knew how stupid buttons worked "Sorry. I can't seem to stop shaking" "Buttons have become my mortal enemy with one arm. Take a deep breath and try again" Breathing didn't help when it came to Zeke's scent. Eren wanting to scrub himself raw to remove it... getting most of the buttons into the right hole, he breathed a long sigh of relief "See. Not so bad" Eren looked to Levi's chair, at least he hadn't been dressed by his lover. He didn't think he could survive the embarrassment of that "Go ahead. He was worried about you when you walked out" "I don't know if I can... everyone is talking about us. I can hear them" "Everyone is always going to find something to talk about. All you can do is hold your head high" "I couldn't even eat dinner. I don't know the first thing about doing this. And of this... all I know how to do is smile and try fumble my way through everything" "That's what we all do. Now that he's made all of this public, you'll be expected to attend more royal events" Nooooo. He hated the royal events. Something always seemed to fucking happen. He was a jinx... not to mention his scales "Events? You guys want to let me out in public, like this?" Erwin snorted "You're fine. The first even his royal highness went to, he had to be restrained and removed from the room" "What did he do?" "I threatened to kill an aristocrat for being an idiot. If you're quite done whispering, you may rejoin the conversation" That was so Levi. Absolutely no patience for anyone he considered stupid... yet for some stupid reason, he had all the patience in the world when it came to him "Sorry, sir... Levi, are you joining us?" "No, I'm afraid I let Armin with Mikasa" Ugh... "You should probably get back then... Armin stands no chance against a raging Mikasa" "She was yelling at Petra when a soldier came to fetch me" "Oh..." At least they hadn't ganged up against him, and Levi... that was something, right? "Yeah" "Eren?" Erwin shook his head lightly before leaving him, Eren taking the few small steps to his chair feeling awkward. He was ready to sit when Levi pulled him down into his lap "Sir?!" Squeaking in surprised, Levi wrapped his arm around him, while his other arm slipped under his legs, forcing Eren to sit in his lap with his legs over the side of the chair, and his side alone Levi's chest. He could smell the jealousy on his boyfriend... why did he have to get stuck between two alphas and their pissing match?! Eren was pretty sure, no prince had ever dragged their lover into their lap like Levi was doing now, but his warm hold was soothing his jumbled thoughts. Clicking his fingers, Zeke summoned his attendant to refill their goblets with wine, Eren's moved to sit beside Levi's as his face warmed. It felt so wrong to be waited on. Over the next few hours, Eren worked his was through enough wine to feel a pleasant numbness, that stripped away his filter. Levi's scent had grown much more calmer once Zeke began doing the rounds of the room, leaving them to sit at the high table alone. With his head resting against his lover's shoulder, Eren let out a soft yawn, exhausted despite his nap. This public consort thing was mentally draining, and no doubt it would grow worse as word of his relationship with the prince spread. He just wanted to be normal. He wanted to stay in the shadows and support both Levi and Eldia the best he could, and now he'd been thrust into the limelight. Nuzzling Levi's neck, he yawned again, while Levi moved to kiss his forehead "Sleepy?" "A little" "Let's go to bed. Zeke's busy being Zeke, and I want to make sure he didn't do anything to you" "He didn't... nothing more than embarrass me" "You have nothing to be embarrassed over. Everyone here wishes they were as beautiful as you are" "I don't feel beautiful" "You are. Hold on to me" Looping his arms around Levi's neck, his boyfriend lifted him "I can walk" "Or, I can make it clear to everyone here that you are mine" "I think it's been obvious since you announced it openly" "Let this old man have his moment" "You're hardly old" "I'm glad you think so" "I do... I'm sorry for my behaviour, I was incredibly nervous" "I know, and there is no need to apologise. All of this was sprung upon you" "You've got that right. You went broke all our arrangements in seconds" "I don't regret it. It's one less secret to carry" "We've both got plenty of them" "Someday I might tell you mine, and you will tell me yours" Eren laughed "I might. If you're a good alpha" "I don't know if I am. I feel as if I'm stumbling in the dark when it comes to negotiating a relationship" "I know. The sex is amazing, but outside of that, I don't know what I'm doing" Levi groaned at him, already starting towards the door "How much have you had to drink?" "Enough to silence the thoughts, and to block out the voices" "Voices?" Eren waved a hand towards the soldiers "Dragon hearing. I could hear everything tonight" "Anything in particular I should worry about?" "Half of them thing I've bewitched you as I'm a monster, and the other half want to know what it's like to fuck a monster" Levi looked back towards the crowd with a growl "Please... don't get mad. It's done and it's passed. I just want to go to bed with you" "They're lucky you're so understanding" "They're lucky they have a prince like you, that understands the soldiers here. I like the port, but I don't think I could handle being here full time" "No?" "No... the waves and the ocean are beautiful, but there are people suffering and struggling to make ends meet. It's... it feels a lot like it used to" Too buzzed to know if he was making sense, he didn't care that Levi didn't reply. Seated in Levi's lap, Eren hadn't been feeling very sexy until he'd found himself there. He couldn't quite remember reaching the room, then there had been small touches as they helped each other undress. Next thing he knew, he was seated in Levi's lap, kissing him desperately as Levi's hands groped his arse. He didn't think he was ready for sex, but slightly intoxicated Eren thought he knew best, and Levi's lips felt amazing against his. Breaking the kiss, Eren stared into his boyfriend's eyes "You're so fucking big" Levi's eyes widened before the alpha laughed "With the way you were looking at me, that wasn't what I was expecting" "Do you want to fuck me? Even after what happened?" "Of course I do" "I feel so buzzed..." "I noticed" "I'm wet" Levi nodded "I can feel that. How do you want it?" "From behind. Hard. I want that thick dick to fucking knot me" "But what if I want to keep kissing you?" "Now I want both... fuck me, then let me ride you? But I also want to suck that dick of yours... Drunk Eren doesn't know" "Drunk Eren, can have everything he wants, as slightly Tipsy Levi wants to do it too" "Then why aren't we doing it now?" "I don't know..." Yeah... alcohol was a not so great, great idea. Finding a stash of spirits in the barrack commanders room, drinking seemed to be a great idea... and sex happened... Levi fell asleep knotted him in, while Eren fell asleep pinned beneath him, neither of them with a shred of modesty. Waking with a long moan, needed a moment to process that Levi fucking him sloppily, and he'd just come before waving. His boyfriend wasn't even completely awake, as peppered sloppy kisses to his chest and nuzzled nasally against him. God... so much for no sex for now... and no sex until he worked his mental health out. Grunting, Levi's knot caught, his boyfriend flopping back against him... a few moments passing before he started snoring again... Sober Eren was an idiot, and it took drunk Eren to prove it. He had a boyfriend who loved him to the moon and back, and never would have let them get wasted if it wasn't for tipsy Eren's insistence... and god, how he'd insisted. Levi usually only drank enough to be polite, though he had confessed to him that he really didn't like drinking too much as alcohol dulled the mind... Drunk Eren had poured gin down his chest, for Levi to lick off of him... He'd fucked up. He'd just wanted to forget his depression. He'd just wanted the world outside to fuck off... to not have to think about their clutch. Trying to straighten his cramping legs, Eren whined as his muscles complained. His wriggling and stretching disturbing his boyfriend. New rule. He was going to stick to his word. No sex until his heat came... Second new rule. No more alcohol with Levi. They just had no self control. "Eren?" "No more alcohol" Levi laughed, his alpha dragging himself up to kneel between Eren's legs, sliding his hands up and down Eren's inner thigh, rolling his hips and jolting his knot... Someone was clearly in a great mood "Given the sun's rising, that's pretty much a guarantee. How are you feeling beautiful?" "Like Drunk Eren just taught Sober Eren an important lesson" Humming, Levi leaned down to run his tongue along Eren's stomach lapping at the cum smeared there, his tongue tickling him as he did. Placing his hands on both sides of Levi's face, he pulled him up "That I'm not ok... and that I was too far into my own head to pull myself out alone" Levi's expression softened "I shouldn't have let you drink" "No... I didn't know what I needed. I don't think it was sex, but I do think it was being close to you" Levi wriggled his hips "I don't think my knot's going down" "Probably not, you were very active in your sleep" "I'm sorry... maybe you're right, no more alcohol" "Just for now... I need to figure out things in my head" "What can I do?" "Keep me from falling too far into my own head" "I know you didn't want to talk to Historia, but maybe send a letter to Ymir? She might be able to tell you why this happened?" He wasn't awake enough for an in depth conversation, no matter how deep in Levi may be. Releasing Levi's face, Eren looked away "I know why it happened... I just don't know why I didn't go into heat because of it" "Do you want to go into heat?" With the mood he was in, his heat was the last thing he needed. As far as he was concerned, if his heat never came again, he'd never have to suffer through it for nothing "What? No. Shut up. It's unfair to make me brain like this. And hurry up and go down, I need to pee" "Then to shower, then there's breakfast. Erwin's probably organised a busy day for us" Eren didn't want a busy day, his expression must have shown as much "You don't need to come if you don't want to. You probably still need to rest" "I just don't think I'm up to crowds yet. Is that ok?" "Of course. Once Zeke leaves, we'll have time to ourselves. We can talk about this, about us. Maybe talk about what comes next?" "Yeah. Sure..." Eren couldn't get back to sleep after waking to find Levi had left, not with the sounds of the barracks, and not with Levi being off with Zeke. His boyfriend had sent breakfast up while he'd been downstairs, then returned to sit with him until he fallen asleep with Levi playing with his hair. He wondered if he should maybe seek out Armin, or Mikasa. Mikasa had had a whole night to process everything, with Armin had been there to help her through it... unless he'd ended up in bed with Erwin. God... that was a mental image he didn't need. The alpha was massive, and poor Armin was a beta... Wrinkling his eyes in an attempt to clear his mind only made it worse. His mind happy to provide all the wrong kinds of mental images. All hopes of sleep was now gone, and Armin's virtue was in danger. He'd never done that stupid reading, and could have set Armin up for heartbreak. He'd never imagined Levi could be the alpha for him, if anyone had suggested it before they started sleeping together, he would have thought them insane. Opting for a set of robes given putting real clothes on seemed like too much effort, Eren dragged himself out of bed and dressed, stealing a pair of Levi's socks from his trunk as Eren hadn't any of his own... at least his feet felt snuggly. Not knowing his way around the barracks, and with everyone running away before he even had the chance to open his mouth, Eren slipped into a scowl. Just because he was sleeping with Levi, didn't mean people needed to be scared of him. If anything, shouldn't they want to help their prince? Wandering downstairs, Eren found himself back at the same fountain at the previous night. Sitting in the same space he'd found Mikasa in, the teen closed his eyes, slightly jealous that everyone around him had things to do. Doing nothing didn't agree with him. Doing nothing while being in place where no one trusted him... and thought of him just as Levi's companion... didn't agree with him at all. Sniffing the air, in an attempt to find any traces of Armin, he unfortunately got a deep breath of Zeke's scent, his eyes flying open as he hissed in annoyance. The man standing and watching him from the arch in the brickwork at the opposite side of courtyard area. Making the mistake of acknowledging him, Zeke took a step towards him, Eren standing and squaring his shoulders, trying not to be intimidated, or at least appear he wasn't. Striding up to him, Eren found the world gone and the blue sky above him as he landed backwards in the fountain. Extending his hand, Zeke laughed "It looks like you had a slight accident, come now. We can't have the Princess of Eldia looking so undignified" Glaring as he took Zeke's hand, the thought to pull him into the water crossed his mind for a moment, before he abandoned it thanks to the fact Zeke was an alpha and strong enough not to fall for a such cheap trick. Pulled to his feet, Eren kept his temper "Yes, it would seem that way" "Allow me to escort you back to your quarters" "I can walk myself" "Really? You just had a fall, and your precious prince was with his ex-fiancée the last I saw" Eren set his jaw, giving a curt nod before turning. All it would take was a little magic and he'd be dry again, yet that would only serve to make Zeke angry. Despite being half a step behind him, Zeke led the way back through the barracks and up to the room Eren was sharing with Levi. Letting them in, Eren walked over to the bed, before letting his magic take care of his wet robes "Ah, magic. It must make things so much easier. It smells of sex in here, I suppose you're desperate to conceive, having birthed a clutch and all" Eren was quick to jump to his own defence as his heart started racing "I haven't given birth" "Don't lie to me" "I'm not" Zeke sighed deeply "Eren, give me the clutch, or I will be forced to..." "I haven't got a clutch! I haven't given birth!" "Learn your place omega. Now. Where is that clutch?! Where is it!" "There isn't one" Striding over, Zeke backhanded him. The alpha hitting him so hard that the rings on his gloved hand cut through Eren's cheek "I said, tell me" "There isn't one! There are no eggs!" Shoving his hand into his pants pocket, Zeke pulled the same crystal pendant out from the previous night "This. This says otherwise" "I don't even know what that is!" "It's a little something our scientists have been working on. Made from part of a very interesting egg. You see, it glows when near dragons who had a clutch, or have recently birthed one..." Moving his hand near Eren's stomach, the crystal pulsed with light before fading back to black "... and it's telling me that you have" "I don't have a clutch" Shoving the pendant back in his pocket with one hand, Zeke grabbed his hair with his other hand, pulling Eren down as he drove his knee up, hitting Eren squarely in the stomach and dropping him "Don't lie to me!" "I'm not lying! I can't have offspring!" Kicking him back so Eren hit the side of the bed, the omega glared up at the sneering alpha "Omega... tell me" "There's no clutch!" "You stubborn piece of shit! Just like him" "Him" who? Levi? He was ok with that "And you're a small and petty man" "I command you to tell me what you did with your clutch!" Eren shook his head "There's no clutch" "You have birth, now I command you to tell me what you did with those eggs! Eldia will face the wrath of international law, if you don't!" He fucking hated commands... absolutely hated them... but thanks to Erwin, he knew how to bend then slightly "The eggs don't exist" "You're lying!" "You gave me a command!" "I command you to tell me what you did with those eggs!" He'd thought he'd beaten Zeke for a moment... that was a no... His chest tightened as he tried to disobey the command "I command you to obey my command! You're an omega, know your place!" Giving a miserable whimper, Eren rolled, slamming his hand flat on the floor as sob bubbled up. He couldn't disobey "They're gone..." "I knew it. Now, tell me where they are" "Gone" "I command you to tell the truth. What do you mean, gone?" Whimpering, Eren drew himself into a ball, shaking his head miserably "They were all dead. I can't have children. The eggs were all dead, so I destroyed them with fire" If Zeke hadn't been angry before, Eren was gagging on his anger now. It was as if someone was holding his mouth open and forcing the taste down his throat "If you can't have children, you would never had a clutch to begin with!" "I'm more dragon than human... They performed a ceremony, on their oracle's altar... I can't have children. It's not part of my soul" "Your soul...?" "My magic! Whatever! I can't have children. Those eggs were dead. They never had any magic to begin with! They grew just to rot... I can't have living children, or a clutch" "So you're useless. What a fucking... shame" As he paused mid sentence, Zeke booted him in the side "I'm sure I don't need to tell you that if you repeat this, your boyfriend will die. You've ruined our plans so far, but never again. Now, clean yourself up. You look repulsive" Eren laid curled on the floor until long after Zeke had left. His magic had healed his physical wounds right up, but Eren felt as if his whole body had been contaminated with Zeke's scent. Stripping his robes, he used his magic to burn them in the rooms hearth, before stripping down the rest of the way and heading into the private bathroom. Looking himself in the mirror, he really did look pathetic. He had the magic to kill Zeke on the spot, yet he hadn't done anything. He'd let himself be beaten and responded to the man's commands. Dashing to toilet, he threw up his breakfast, nauseous with his own self loathing. This... this was the last time he was going to be upset. No more stupid tears. No more crying and no more thinking of his clutch. He'd be stronger. If he wasn't stronger, he couldn't stay by Levi's side. If he wasn't stronger, he wouldn't be of any use to the man. He had to be stronger. He had to be the kind of man Levi could rely on... no matter how it really made him feel. He'd bury those emotions and pretend he felt nothing. That's what Levi would do, because he couldn't allow himself time to grieve. His job wouldn't allow that. Scrubbing himself raw in the shower, his magic annoyingly kept healing him through the whole process. He wanted to hurt. To concentrate on something other than the miserable little bitch he was being. This wasn't him. He had to be better. He had to.

[dazzlingfantasiesblogs]

Your enemy, is my enemy

Happy x Reader

Requested by: @homicidalteenagedream

Warning: Mentions of abuse

Took me forever to start this. Going to be a couple part series!

“For fuck sakes little girl! Your going to get killed!” Happy grabbed y/n by her small wrist pulling her out of the bar. She had started another bar fight because a guy wouldn’t leave her alone. “Happy, I was fine, I laid out three guys.” y/n smiled up at Happy. Happy felt his heart twitch at her smile. They had been friends forever. She followed him down from Tacoma. Leaving her life behind there since her life mostly consisted of Happy, fighting and motorcycles. She loved SAMCRO as well. All the guys taking a liking to her the moment a guy made a smart remark to Gemma, she knocked the guy out cold and proceeded to talk to Chibs like nothing happened. Gemma laughed so hard, Clay confused slightly. “Little girl..” “Call me by my name Happy!” “y/n, you make me think I need to have you glued to my hip!” y/n felt her phone go off, she seen his name and her face turn to a ghost white. Happys eyebrow twitched, confused on her reaction.

y/n got off her bike and followed Happy to his house. He walked to his bedroom, y/n opening his fridge grabbing a beer. She drank a few sips, throwing the top in the trash can. She sat on the couch seeing a thong. She frowned a bit seeing it. She knew Happy was a sex addicted, it did not surprise her too much. She used a napkin to hold it. “Your girlfriend left something here.” She said hearing Happys footsteps. Happy looked to see a pink thong from the other night. His stomach dropped, he cared for y/n, she probably hated him for it. “I know you’re a sex addict Happy, just clean it up.” y/n said standing up chugging the beer. She threw it away, looking back at Happy. “I gotta go.” “I thought we where going riding?” “Something came up.” y/n waved and walked out of the house. Happy punched a wall. He wanted to strangle the croweater that “forgot” that there.

y/n walked into the club to see her ex sitting at the bar. She sat down “What do you want Greg?” “Come back to Tacoma and we won’t have any issue.” “Quit threatening me.” y/n grumbled. “Or what? You going to send that big bad biker my way? What is it with him? Hmmm? Maybe I should pay him a visit. I don’t like people touching what is mine..” Greg whispered in y/ns ear, sliding a knife across her cheek. She winced at the pain. “Leave him alone, he did nothing to you. We are just friends. Lie detector me if you want.. fucking crooked ass cop..” Soon y/n felt a fist to her cheek, and another to her ribs. She coughed up some blood Greg smirking at this. “No one can have you… but me..” “Remember… I know your bloody secret..” Greg stood up. The bartender quickly came around, looping his arm around y/n. “Are you ok…?” Y/n nodded, the bartender carrying y/n to the back room. He grabbed a first aid kit, cleaning her cut. “Sorry for the ruckus..” “No man should ever hit a woman… My name is Leon.” “Y/n..” “Nice to meet you y/n” “Likewise.”

It had been a few days, you had not answered any of Happys calls. You had one cracked rib and one broken, moving was a bitch. You face still swollen from the cut. You hurd your front door open. “Baby?” You hurd Gemmas voice. She walked to your bedroom to see you asleep. She seen your face, also your ribs bruised since you only slept in panties and a bra. “y/n..” you woke up quickly pointing a gun at the blury figure. You closed and reopened your eyes to see Gemma. You put down your gun. “How did you…?” “Remember, you gave me a key..” you nodded to Gemma.  You gave her a key when you hid her from Clay after he beat her. “Happy is worried about you.. what happened?” “Gem.. don’t…” “No mother bear shit right now.. I got into a fight. I am fine.” “You need to tell Happy about your ex…” “How did you know?...” “Juice…” you sighed putting your head in your hands. “He is dangerous… very dangerous.. he is a cop… a dirty.. dirty cop..” Gemma nodded. “let me tell him Gem.” “Alright baby.. tell him soon. Party tonight. Show up. Need my girl there.” She walked over kissing y/n on the head.

y/n went to turn on the water, only droplets coming out. “fuck..” She sighed walking to see a paper slid under her door. City Ordinance. Water will be shut off for 48 hours. Should be back on by Thursday. Sorry for any inconvenience.  

Gemma made it back to TM, Happy waiting in the office. “I shut off the water. She should be calling you soon.” Gemma smirked. Happy chuckled a bit nodding. Gemma did not want to alarm him about her condidtion quite yet. Happy felt his phone buzz.

You: “Bitch ass city cut of my water… can I shower at your place..?”

Happy: “Sure little girl. Where have you been..?”

You: “Busy.. explain later.”

Happy: “Ok.”

You: “If I find another pink thong.. I am going to choke you with it.”

Happy: “Fuck.. let me go check.” ;)

You: “Sex addict.”

Happy: “Adrenaline Junkie”

You: “Trigger Happy bitch.”

Happy: “Tattoo covered slut.”

You: “Twice condom using cheap fuck.”

Happy: “Hey! I am mindfull of excessive spending..”

You: “No Happy… just No…”

y/n drove to Happys with a bag of clothes to change into. She opened the door to see Happy watching cartoons. “Thanks, for letting me shower.” “Happy stood up quickly.” “You forgot to lock the door.” Happy nodded walking over to her. He seen the scratch on her face and the bruise on her other cheek. “Y/N…. What is that from? Is this why you have been..” “Happy don’t.. let me shower first…” Happy growled and walked her to the bathroom grabbing her a towel.

She showered, relaxing in the hot water. Happy hurd her phone buzz. He seen a text message, opening it up. “You better be making arrangements to move back here. Remember you dumb bitch you are mine and no one elses. Do not make me bring that biker into this.. I can make the rest of your ribs match the others.” Happy was seething. He loved y/n. he loved her since the where kids. She said she had trouble with an ex… why had he not looked into it more.. He called Juice “Juice.. look up this phone number..” “Ok Man, sec.”

RZr$

[edierone]

In Herba Veritas

From a prompt ages ago, a college AU featuring weed; my last remaining WIP -- enjoy!

A week of these buzzing fragrant late-May days where spring’s been shading into summer, the light holding out longer, the air warmer even after sunset. Outdoor study dates, lunches on the steps in the quad, and a tiny little spray of freckles has appeared across Scully’s winter-white collarbones, sweet cinnamon blossoms he imagines are one of the harbingers of the season to come.

He wishes he could look forward to it, this first summer with her, wishes they both had different plans than their actual ones. But next week is finals, then she’s off to this brainiac accelerated pre-med intensive on the opposite coast for ten weeks and he’s so proud of her for being selected that he’s just about bursting with it; also he wants to fling himself directly into the sun from the pain of being separated from her for so long so he doesn’t think about it if he can help it. He’ll be on the Vineyard, for hopefully the last time, working on his thesis in the stifling-hot attic, writing to her every day when he’s had enough of Decoupling Neurodivergence and the Criminal Impulse, having a sad, silent dinner with his mother every evening, going for long runs on the beach in hopes of being able to drop instantly off to sleep at night, alone in a too-short single bed that suddenly feels much too big without her.

But for now — ahh, for now, they do have the now.

He’s coaxed her out here in the almost uncomfortably warm early evening with the promise of stargazing and possibly a meteor shower and/or some UFOs, after a full day of studying — “You could teach these classes yourself at this point, Scully — what you need is a break to let it all sink in,” he’d said, and either his words or the hand skimming lightly over her bared shoulder and glancing her breast through her tank top had been convincing enough to get her into his rattletrap old Volvo for the drive out beyond the city’s light pollution.

Her seriousness has evaporated with the miles. The Volvo last had A/C when he was in high school, and the turbulence from the open windows has pulled wisps of hair from her neat braid. Her smooth pale thigh, exposed beneath the cutoff denim of her shorts, keeps drawing his eye from the road; she slaps his hand away, giggling, and feeds him single M&Ms whenever she pleases.

Seven p.m., and it’s still broad daylight up here on the hill in the un-trafficked county park he’s found to be an excellent place for solitude. They find a relatively flat spot among the wildflowers to spread the blanket he’d dug from the hall closet, then flop onto it it to rest from the hike up. He’s dying to kiss her, but he likes this part, the anticipation, the waiting — they can never keep their hands to themselves for long, though sometimes it’s fun to pretend they’re not definitely about to jump each other’s bones.

Lying on his back a chaste foot or so away from her with his head cradled in his hands, looking up at the clear blue late-day sky, he muses happily, “Shoulda brought some wine or something, huh? Make it more like a picnic …”

“Oh!” she sits up suddenly, pulling her backpack over and rummaging through it. “I almost forgot!” She holds something up, triumphantly — three little wobbly-looking sticks, wrapped in a dining-hall napkin.  

“What are those, cigarettes?” He knew she smoked occasionally, but thought she liked Lucky Strikes, not hand-rolled.

She laughs. “No, square boy — these are from Stoney Dave.”

David Stoney, the really irritatingly good-looking and unreasonably nice rich kid she tutored in Organic Chemistry, had long ago surrendered to the destiny of his name; he often gave out little treats to his friends, which apparently now included Scully. Mulder tries not to sulk.

“Oh, stop,” she says soothingly. “It was a bonus, ‘cause thanks to me, he got an 83 on the lab quiz last week. Relax. In fact … this will help you with that!”

He can’t keep sulking, not while he’s in range of the devilish twinkle in her eyes. She has a way of crowding out the darkness in him, whatever its source or proximate cause (a worrisome thought flits through his brain — oh shit, what’s the summer going to be like without her there to pull me up — but he banishes it immediately).

The problem is, he really is square boy, at least regarding weed — the half-dozen or so times he’s tried it, he’s either felt nothing at all, or gotten really paranoid and freaked out. And frankly, he’s shocked at Scully taking it so casually — she’s got her wild side, but marijuana isn’t just naughty, it’s illegal.

It’s like she can read his mind. “I know it’s technically illegal,” she says with an amused eyeroll. “But if you keep all the little rules, you get to break some of the big ones.” This is something she picked up from Nineteen Eighty-Four — the phrasing, anyway. He suspects she’s always been like this, though, with her color-coded study notebooks and alphabetized shelves, her buttoned-up blouses, perfect attendance at Mass, and unerring ability to be on time for everything always — but underneath it all, her defiant streak, her quick temper, her intellectual adventurousness, the cool blue flame of her sexuality.

She’s not going to guilt him into smoking up with her, or even try to talk him into it, any more than he would her — but as she waits for him to think it through, he realizes he wants to. He feels safe with her; if it makes him paranoid, she’ll take care of him, and if it’s fun, if it opens his mind and loosens his inhibitions, well — who else in the world would he want to be with in that case?

“OK, Cheech, light it up,” he says, with what feels like a pretty foolish grin on his face.

She laughs her wickedly merry little laugh. “Don’t mind if I do, Chong,” she answers, whipping out a cheap drugstore lighter and setting the end of one of the joints ablaze. As it begins smoldering properly, she offers it to him: “Wanna go first?”

“No, no,” he demurs, mock-seriously. “Test it, make sure there’s no paraquat — that’s just good science.”

She shrugs — suit yourself — and takes a nice deep expert-looking drag, holding the smoke in while she passes it to him. He tries his very best to replicate her ease, but knows he probably looks like an FBI agent in bad undercover duds, attempting to crack a teen drug ring. Predictably, his eyes tear up immediately and he coughs harder than an end-stage TB patient.

She giggles, but doesn’t make fun of him, just hands him the Thermos of water and waits for him to recover. His next toke is smoother, and by the time they finish the joint, he’s feeling quite pleasant indeed. Not high, exactly — or maybe he is, yeah, because everything is a little softer around him, and he can’t stop smiling.

“Is this what it’s supposed to feel like?” he asks, genuinely curious.

“I don’t know,” she says, with a slightly spacy smile. “What do you feel?”

“Uhhhh … good,” he answers, and for some reason, this strikes them both as absolutely hilarious. He lays back on the blanket, laughing fit to split. She falls bonelessly onto him at right angles, using his abs as a pillow, and they keep cracking up again every time they think they’re done.

The shadows are getting long when the laughter has finally spent itself and the hyper talking has begun. At some point, Scully sits up long enough to find and light a second joint. They chatter like magpies, jumping from subject to subject, laughing stupidly as they pass the thing back and forth till it’s merely a roach. Then she carefully douses it with water and settles back against him, their bodies forming a comfortable, sloppy T as they quiet down again.

He feels connected, alive, aware, his usually overactive mind surprisingly calm and at ease. They lie there for awhile, senses absorbing everything around them — the sounds of birds, crickets, the warm breeze in the grass; the scents of the evening flowers, the springy soil; the lovely deepening purple of the sky, pink and gold at the edge as the sun sinks below the horizon.

Scully turns sideways, pressing her ear to his stomach, listening with her eyes closed — “I can hear the insides of you,” she murmurs softly. He reaches his hand up — his slightly amazing hand, at the end of an arm that’s longer than he realized — and pets her head, as he would a kitten.

Your hair is soft and pretty, he thinks, his mouth feeling a little too cottony to say it out loud. She makes a sound that’s very like a purr. It buzzes through him, sweet and low, and he realizes he’s half-hard just from that. He almost laughs at the feeling of pride it gives him— well done, reliable young body! — when usually he’s barely tolerant of his own angular awkwardness, shuffling along in a physical frame he has often wished were easier to ignore.

But he’s not ready to do anything about it yet — he feels pleasantly heavy, not willing to move, tethered to the earth and bonded with her, his love. It feels like there’s time for everything, time enough at last. He looks up at the stars and asks her to name constellations. She obliges, lovingly — naming one after the other, pointing with her strong soft capable hand, and as she speaks he can really see them, the shapes they’re supposed to form — she’s a wonderful travel guide. Her voice floats to him dreamily and he starts to drift.

But just as she says “And over there, later in the summer — closer to September, when we’ll be back together again — you could see Vulpecula, the little fox —” he feels a cold finger of dread touch him. It’s the stars. They’re too far away. There are too many of them, it’s too big. And it’s freezing in space. It’s ok for whatever non-human life forms may or may not live out there, but not for people and

oh shit, Sam’s out there

His heart starts pounding, fearful sucking pumps of blood and anguish, circulating hideous sadness a decade old, fermented into something guilty and thick. He’s afraid, so afraid, and he can’t even tell Scully, because if he says anything he’ll infect her with this — this thought virus, this panic — and he has to protect her, like he couldn’t protect Sam —

His body is rigid, his jaw aches, he wonders if whoever took Sam can see him right now.

she’s out there, it’s too big, it’s so cold

“Spooky?”

In his mind it’s like a warm wave of golden sun. He tries to concentrate on her voice.

“Mulder — hey — are you ok?” Stronger now, brighter, but he can’t answer.

She sits up, and he clutches at her — don’t go, don’t you leave me too — but she’s only changing position so she can see him better. She touches his face with one hand, lays the other gently over his hammering heart. Immediately it slows. Oh Scully, sweet Scully …

“The stars,” he mumbles, closing his eyes to keep from seeing their cold glittery twinkling. He feels he has to explain himself, he sounds nuts. “Sam’s up there.”

“Oh honey,” she says, and it’s the sun made into words — or, no, the moon, rising three-quarters full behind her, tawny and huge this low in the sky. She’s never called him honey before and it breaks him, just a little. “Shhh,” she soothes, stroking his cheek, shifting to lie on top of him, her slight weight like the most wonderful, comforting blanket.

He opens his eyes and her face fills his vision almost entirely — everything else recedes to unimportance.

“Just look at me,” she intones softly. “I’m here and I love you and I’m going to kiss you now, OK?” He nods, not even remotely ashamed of the tear that escapes and slides down his temple; his heart is full and it’s spilling over, she knows him and it’s all right.

She dips down to kiss him; at the first touch of her lips on his, the dread vanishes completely, as if it had been a cloud casting a momentary shadow, and now the radiance has returned. He keeps his eyes open, overcome by the delicacy of her eyelids, the smoothness of her skin, the fluttering of her lashes as she sighs into him, sharing breath.

He remembers that he is not tethered to the Earth, not in actuality; his limbs stir at last, his lower body moving to make a cradle for hers, while his arms, his hands, are free to roam — and roam they do, while he marvels at the soft sounds she makes in response to his touch.

He slides the elastic band off of her hair and undoes the long silky braid so that it falls in a curtain on either side of them, it’s like being hidden in a secret cave behind a waterfall with a water sprite, or a mermaid temporarily slumming it on land.

He laughs from the sheer joy of it, and it catches her, too; their kisses grow sloppy and mistimed, which is funny all by itself.

After who knows how long, he realizes she’s been rocking slowly against the bulge in his jeans and it feels so good he’s afraid she might make him come like that. Is that what she wants? He wants to please her, make her feel as good as he does, but how — better find out.

With difficulty he gets her attention, then nearly loses his words as her eyes find his, so full of desire and trust that he feels somehow purified, sanctified by her love. She blinks, waiting, and he finally manages to say, “Can I — can we —”

“Yes.”

Yes, she said yes, his mind echoes, and he takes her fully in his arms, murmuring love you, love you, so much.

They take their time, which is something they rarely have the luxury to do — up to now, it’s mostly been dorm room beds, roommates just on the other side of a door, stolen moments here and there.

And it is wonderful, full of wonder — everything feels more: her skin smoother, her kisses more intense, her taste even sweeter, every sensation heightened, within and without. It’s beautiful discovery, like the first time they were together — there’s the delicious rush and spark, the longing and the anticipation — but this time he’s not so overwhelmed. Body and soul both feel expanded somehow, able to handle this wild precious thing grown strong between them.

Side by side on the blanket, they slide along the length of each other, skin on skin the most amazing feeling, and when he finds himself between her legs, his tongue coaxing her by infinitesimal steps toward the peak, he looks up at her moonlit nakedness and knows — again, always — that wherever else his life takes him, whatever else he does, he wants it to be with her.  

As if he’s communicated this thought directly to her center, she cries out, quaking all around him as she comes; he wants to weep again at the beauty of it all, but she’s pulling him up, kissing him deeply, tasting herself on his lips and saying my god, oh my god … She reaches down, strokes him with the slip from her own body and it’s the most self-control he’s ever used in his entire life to keep from sliding into her right there but he manages to wrest himself free for the time it takes to find a condom in her bag and put it on, kneeling before her, a supplicant who finds himself invited, gladly welcomed inside.

He sinks in — deep, deeper, as if she could absorb him completely — “Ohhhhhh,” she sighs, with a hitch to her breath and rapture in her eyes. This is union, he thinks, we’re joined together …

“Yes we are,” she whispers as he moves over her. Had he said that out loud, or are they just that in sync? No matter, no matter … he’s pretty sure he could do this forever … but eventually, he finds himself climbing, climbing, then falling, floating safely through space with her, landing softly back on the springy, fertile-smelling ground.

After a long time, or maybe just a few minutes, they find the strength to clean up but not get dressed yet; they sit up together, Mulder’s bare back against the large, sun-warmed rock at the edge of their blanket, Scully reclined against his chest with his knees as armrests, the air around them warm and still. He holds her, resting his chin on her head, exquisitely aware of their heartbeats in perfect counterpoint to each other.

They’re silent, spent, bodies humming with the afterglow. I love you, Scully traces lightly on his thigh with her index finger. I’m gonna marry you, he thinks, tracing a heart with the tip of his tongue just behind her ear. She shivers, presses closer against him.

The night above them is beautiful again; she’s given that back to him. He’s about to say something in thanks, but just then, they both gasp, awestruck: A shooting star streaks across the sky, impossibly huge, unbelievably close.

“Make a wish,” he says, just as she says “Meteor, Spooky,” and they shake with laughter.

“Ain’t that always the way,” he grins, and she twists to look up at his face. She traces his cheek with the back of her hand, such affection in the gesture that he tears up again; he’s not used to this, to someone knowing him this deeply and loving him for it. He hopes she knows that he returns it a thousandfold. By the way her eyes fill up, he thinks she does.

She kisses him again, settles back into his arms, gazes peacefully out at the winking stars.

“We’re gonna be OK this summer, Mulder,” she says softly, her voice clear enough to indicate that the weed has worn off entirely.

“I know,” he answers, believing it for the first time, really.

He believes a lot of things, but this — this — is the capital-T truth.