#ok sorry for being negative but i'm sensitive rn
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ok starting to think that the people on twt blaming it all on carlos' team when he loses and calling for a team change just can't bear to put the blame on carlos. like he isn't a helpless baby, he can make decisions for himself, and when he makes mistakes he can own them. he made a lot of mistakes this match and that's mostly on him. especially when he's losing his head, then really the best his team can do is try to calm him down. i guess w the introduction of the new coaching rule maybe they can give some tactics tips but i doubt it makes much of a difference. saying that they don't do anything but say vamos to him during the match is so reductive and makes it seem like people don't actually understand what's going on in a match 🤦
#ok sorry for being negative but i'm sensitive rn#and also i see this rhetoric after every loss i'm tired of it#not saying that there's not anything the team can do or that there's not some blame on them but jeez saying this loss is all on them...#just say u don't understand tennis
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oh wow
not wow wow like a good wow but a really bad shocked wow
im currently reading my old posts and asks that got sent to me and jesus, i never realised how huge the difference, how much i’ve grown and changed until now
so edgy and negative and very much of an asshole for no reason at all.
fuck its so bad that im just so so glad i’m no longer like that
#to people who witnessed that bitch(and istfg i was a bitch just for the sake of being one. which makes me cringe in disgust and pity now)#i am very so sorry#how did i even managed to survive that much of negativity#cos if i was still like that rn and im also this sensitive to it. jesus i dont know#i'm all being positive. polite. decent. kind and sweet now#so seeing and recalling how i was before#just makes me sad#and knowing that many people are like that in the world because theyre broken and still can't heal#i mean#i am still an asshat sometimes#but now i am more aware of it and more concerned about it when it happens#and i am still healing#hmmm#i guess the healing process doesnt really start UNTIL you yourself finally decide that you want to heal and be a better version of yourself#also it's only been maybe 9 months since i started??? and i thought it'd be all over after a short time but i realised that healing takes#sometimes a lifetime#and that's okay#sometimes i think im completely over stuff but when something just triggers ur trauma you realise it's still there#but you've learned to handle it better than before and you're kinder to yourself#ok im gonna stop. this is all very embarrassing to say#tumblr post
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