#to people who witnessed that bitch(and istfg i was a bitch just for the sake of being one. which makes me cringe in disgust and pity now) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cleanfreakandshittyglasses · 6 years ago

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oh wow

not wow wow like a good wow but a really bad shocked wow

im currently reading my old posts and asks that got sent to me and jesus, i never realised how huge the difference, how much i’ve grown and changed until now

so edgy and negative and very much of an asshole for no reason at all.

fuck its so bad that im just so so glad i’m no longer like that

#to people who witnessed that bitch(and istfg i was a bitch just for the sake of being one. which makes me cringe in disgust and pity now)#i am very so sorry #how did i even managed to survive that much of negativity #cos if i was still like that rn and im also this sensitive to it. jesus i dont know #i'm all being positive. polite. decent. kind and sweet now #so seeing and recalling how i was before #just makes me sad #and knowing that many people are like that in the world because theyre broken and still can't heal #i mean #i am still an asshat sometimes #but now i am more aware of it and more concerned about it when it happens #and i am still healing #hmmm #i guess the healing process doesnt really start UNTIL you yourself finally decide that you want to heal and be a better version of yourself #also it's only been maybe 9 months since i started??? and i thought it'd be all over after a short time but i realised that healing takes #sometimes a lifetime #and that's okay #sometimes i think im completely over stuff but when something just triggers ur trauma you realise it's still there #but you've learned to handle it better than before and you're kinder to yourself #ok im gonna stop. this is all very embarrassing to say #tumblr post

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