#ok so some context! tags are out of the way i can talk now lol

[czarojay]

when you're punk but your wife is pink

[basimdasasonst]

tos spock: logic may be a philosophical path that i have dedicated much of my life to the path of -- as far as considering and almost completing kolinahr -- but it does not make me all that i am. i am a person outside of my physicalities, with wants, needs, and other such things that i can allow myself through the cracks of my teachings

snw spock: did u know im a vulcan. only half tho ... raagaghaahhah ... (meek noises of protest against his humanity)

no. but seriously. on that ... thing of an snw s3 recap: others have divested much more time and energy into talking about vulcan philosophy vs biology (and there's a plethora of very good takes about it if you do only the most minor of searching) so i won't harp on the matter, but i want to step back and observe the writing and characterisation beyond the colossal fuck up that is -- well, their disintegration of vulcan culture/complexities.

[i'll -- try to keep this brief but no promises. i did spend 2000 words ranting about how badly they did spock so, brevity thy name is not basimdasas]

let me just. let's just pretend we can get over the fact they mixed biology with philosophy. let's just let that slide for a second. why -- and i cannot stress this enough -- the fuck do (pike, uhura, la'an, chapel -- i'll call them fake vulcans for my own sake) the fake vulcans talk the fucking same ... ? moreover -- why are they the same person -- logical. Purely Wholey Logical (trademark). if you transcribed the text of the 5 minute episode we were given and took out the dialogue tags -- they're. they're all the same person. you cannot tell who's talking, maybe through context clues. Guys. (shakes the writers really hard, enough to give an adult shaken baby syndrome) VULCANS HAVE PERSONALITIES TOO. i've felt a small undercurrent of this in the previous seasons but it feels directly amplified to me now -- spock's "humanity" is -- is his personality. They're making his personality his humanity. dude.

let me put it this way: you put two nihilists in a room. they've grown up in different ways, in different places, and were introduced to nihilism by their parents who also believed and practised in the philosophy. you let them talk. they're going to disagree, they might even get angry at the other. they'll agree. if there is something inherently correct that they can both acknowledge, they will have different viewpoints of tackling the concept -- based not just on the objective teachings, but the environment they grew up in, their communities, their parents, and their own personal traits. now let's take them out of the box. you compare the two at a distance: one likes grape smoothies, the other likes peach. one is a morning person, one is not. one is a competitive swimmer. one works in an office. they both find relative comfort from their jobs, even if in different ways. they are both nihilists. yet, inextricably, they are different in many ways.

ONLY VULCANS WHO HAVE UNDERGONE KOLINAHR WOULD LACK EMOTIONS. VULCANS STILL HAVE EMOTIONS THEY JUST TAMP THEM DOWN.

ok. calm. i'm drawing a tad on my experience as a trans man with gender here, but there are some things about us that are fundamental to our being that we are inherently drawn to for various reasons, i believe. i mean, that's what personality is, in a severe nutshell. that's why we have assholes who continue to be assholes (garner pleasure from it, usually). people who continue to let themselves get stepped over (never learned to stand up for themselves, environmental factor, or is afraid, or what have you). people who learn from their mistakes (ambition, or an intense desire for personal growth. where does this desire come from? changes per person. it's never the same). people who don't. kind people. mean people. we can change our personalities (with heavy work), but they are as much a product of emotion as they are environment, personal wants, personal needs, etc. everyone is built different (lol, but literally) -- and there really are truly some things we cannot just -- purge, by a point. example: i know in my heart that i am not a woman. i gravitate towards anger. i have never been good at history, no matter the angle i tackle it from. there will never be a day where i read the fine print of a legal document. i could become good at history, i am fixing my anger, but i will always naturally gravitate right where i want to be, and right where i need to be. i will always understand numbers better than words, because that's -- just how my brain works. my memory might always be a little wonky. this is all ok. fuck, it might not be logical that i'm so utterly useless at history, and sure i can work to change it, but i will always find myself more comfortable and more at ease in physics with the same amount of work. the logical thing from there is to just accept my weaknesses and move with my strengths. see where i'm going with this? and sure, i can definitely change most of my personality, but it's hard. sometimes that effort is good sometimes it's not. we have natural tendencies. we have different wants, different needs. and by the universe do we not all share the same body -- we will amble around in our flesh suits differently. my gait will be different than yours; it is no less of a walk.

anyway. tangent aside. short story -- we gravitate to things. that's natural. that's logical. diversity of a species is logical -- especially for society.

now, vulcans, in my heart of hearts, are definitely more subtle about these things because, you know, surak, but. if every vulcan was the same and had the same inherent -- wants, needs, interests, subdued emotions, way of headbutting logic -- then you have a society of mirrors. snw is trying to make vulcan society a society of mirrors.

pike is caring. la'an is quiet, strict, efficent. uhura, also, is caring but in a different way to pike. chapel is enthusiastic. by embracing suraks teachings and (magically, mysteriously) acting in accordance to them fully, they are effectively tamping down their greater feelings. not completely ridding of them. despite the fact that vulcan!pike would logically find no sense in compassion, he would also find no sense in cruelty. he is, to his heart, a compassionate person because he has made himself one. one philosophical revelation wouldn't remove decades of that. sure, he might tamp it down, but he'd still be more compassionate than anything else. he would not be cruel for logic's sake -- even if, yes, there's only "4.5 vulcans", logically -- he wouldn't say that. he wouldn't fucking say that because he is kind hearted and though it's true, it would feel "illogical to point out" -- he is good with people. has been for the duration of the show, and probably a good majority before that. he'd understand the emotions of others regardless, he's very perceptive. he'd see spock flinch at "a half". he'd roundabout it in that way that tos spock loved to do -- talk in half truths. "5 people to beam down" is not wrong. it is imprecise but not wrong. (bones voice) goddammit, they're not all the same damn stereotypical rude vulcan asshole. i haven't read surak's teachings but i severely doubt he said, at any point: "harp on an unnecessary fact to be a total douchebag as often as vulcanely possible".

this goes for everyone too -- la'an is more the silent efficent type. why would she feel the need to say ... much of anything to the effect? spock knows he's half vulcan. everyone does. what the fuck does it bring to the table to reiterate it? nothing.

you're doing the jj abrams special: creating conflict where they should be none, and ignoring a greater place to create conflict. seriously, even if i do believe the whole thing about genetics that chapel does (WHICH! BY THE WAY! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IT'S BEEN MENTIONED/PLOT RELEVANT SINCE 1X01!) why is spock not, instead, helping them regulate their emotions? why are they not like pre-reform vulcans? why not use this to help us stir a bit in spock's head instead of using an out that isn't "making spock the butt of the joke". why can't he show vulcan!kindness as he's so often showing in tos. mf let me into that writers room i just want to talk i ju-

also, the dialogue was super cringy. sorry, it was. i say this as a writer who has written super cringy dialogue before and occasionally does so now. it was cringy. i've written better at the age of 12 in the margins of my maths notebook while bored out of my mind. some of these lines made me tense up. misplaced, or corny, or so severely out of character that it gave me a genuine headache by minute 2 of 5, or what have you: t'was cringy. so so so bad.

i -- selfishly, almost -- hope that it's not too late to go back and fix it, but since filming has long wrapped up -- well. it's probably a moot point, but i'm deeply annoyed. again, i really want to like snw, but everything "spock" (and, by extension, vulcan) has been butchered so badly that watching the show is rather like reading a fic you really like with one tag that just ruins the whole thing. like you'll stick it out, but begrudgingly, and not with a lot of joy in your heart because of -- i don't know, some weirdly prevalent "daddy kink".

tl;dr -- we are not just a product of the objective teachings of our beliefs, and vulcans are not only reflections of surak's teachings.

snw writers: please kick jj abrams out of your writing room. he's not doing you any favours

[ballcrusher74]

hello. are you. perhaps 👉👈 willing to talk about the inspector/faux. ive only seen cool arts and no context so im rather curious.

OK!!! I actually love rambling about my ocs so small questions like this make me day. I just get nervous LOL But! I will say, there's gonna probably be a bit I'm leaving out because it does involve my friends' characters and it's still an on-going thing atm (we tend to roleplay on lethal company as our guys. btw the oc group is called Cleanup Crew ! it explains the recent reblogs and new tags I've added on posts with this guy) AND this does also involve my own little interpretations of in-game mechanics and other things, but otherwise, I'll get the rest of him down!

Inspector, also originally known by the name of Terrance Conroy (or Terry), was a typical scavenger working under 'The Company' after a couple rough times on his home planet. (This information isn't necessarily set in stone, but the idea of him being a washed-up rock star before quitting his passion to get a job that pays his rent has been bouncing around in my brain.) He used to be a normal guy, trying to find a little hope in his desperate situation, and was a social butterfly. He tend to bounce from crew to crew, sometimes staying in some for only a couple days, and some for months. He was a very careful man, and looked out for his fellow crew members.

And then, one day, his first death on the job happens.

But instead of being greeted by a bright white light at the end of a tunnel, or complete pitch darkness, he appears on the ship again- completely physically fine.

This.. confuses him at first, yet he continues on.

And then he dies again. And again, and again. Over and over, the more deaths he's endured, the more he comes to a morbid realization that he can't truly die, nor can those around him. He tries to keep this truth hidden away from the others, as they seem to not have mentioned it at all before. He remembers everything. Every time he was ripped to shreds by an eyeless dog, every time he blew up into pieces from a landmine, every time he was shot multiple times, every time he was left behind or ejected as part of the disciplinary process- He felt it all and remembered it all. This goes on for the course of years (around 8-10 roughly) and over that course of time, he begins to grow very careless. What's the point of saving someone if they'll just come back? What's the use of tears when you're only a couple dollars off quota with a shovel in hand?

What's the point of it all? And with that carelessness comes selfishness into the picture. With how long he's been stuck in the cycle, he has become a very manipulative person, putting up a playful and nice persona on the outside- almost sickeningly sweet- in order to help other's do his bidding. He believes that if he were to cause so much chaos, disorder, and disruption within a crew, to where it's like animals mauling each other apart, he'd be able to break free from it himself. He doesn't care anymore about leaving others behind. He's desperate at this point to find a way out. Faux, who is an alter ego / disguise for Inspector, ties more into the on-going events right now, but I can give a basic rundown on his personality. He's a klutzy and quiet man, typically only talking to others when it's just him and them, and nobody else around, playing himself off as a selective mute. Since this is just Inspector in a jazzy little jester outfit, he still possesses all the traits of that man, just hidden away as to not blow his cover. He's still tugging on the strings in some way, people just don't realize. Sure, he's off putting and just a tad bit strange, but how can a goofy man like that be terrifying?

WOOOW ok that's a lot more typing than expected, but here's also a couple fun facts about the guy !

He stands at 6 feet and 1 inch, and is a very lanky guy compared to others, but this wasn't always the case. He used to just stand at 5 feet and 6 inches, and had more normal human proportions. With how many times he has died and how long it's been of the cycle, it has fucked up his appearance a LOT. Other things include : his 'skin' being grey, his voice constantly sounding like it's coming from a walkie talkie, no visible neck, his face becoming the helmet itself (it still bleeds, but there's nothing in there), and inhumanly flexible.

The only thing left of him that represents his last strand of humanity, is a singular, dim eye behind the tape on his visor.

He is very much not a rational man anymore. He is quick to jump to things, and won't hesitant with his actions.

When waiting to return from death, he is able to manifest in someone's head as a disembodied voice, and will typically mock them, or try and manipulate them further. In this state, he can see everything through the eyes of the person he's haunting. ^ Fun fact about this! This was originally based off a stupid bit where my friend was streaming LC to me with other buddies on the game and I kept telling them to step on landmines and then kill someone for a promotion, and then Inspector was born!

and UH I think that's about it I have for the guy atm! If the rest of the cleanup crew gets dropped than I'll update this accordingly perhaps. As of right now, enjoy my oc slop 👍

[cerealmonster15]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

ty for the tag @unpredictable-probabilities! I don't usually do tag things but I'm feeling an exception today and I want to ramble lol let's GO!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Right now, 51! I think i started using ao3 back in college with rvb fic lol. I've since orphaned 2 fics so I guess there wouldve been 53.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

86,956

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, mostly just Twisted Wonderland (and the occasional dndads, I still have a fic in my brain I kinda wanna write for that). Twst was kinda my comeback to wanting to write fics and has been my main inspiration for a lot of things and it's been the most fun i've had writing fics I think, and it's eventually what's gotten me to try to write my first multi chapter fic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Slip Ups and Lift Ups (Stardew Valley) 444 Kudos 2. A Fishy Intervention (TWST) 354 Kudos 3. Company (TWST) 249 Kudos 4. Security Cauldron (TWST) 248 Kudos [my first twst fic i think? also has some errors in it teehee oopsie] 5. Because I Care (TWST) 234 Kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!!! I think I didn't used to? Maybe because I felt weird about my own comments changing the comment count and like it was somehow lying lol. but that's silly and i like talking to people and I Need people to Know that i Love Their Comments

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm I do not write much angst, and even when I do it's more hurt/comfort, bc permasads make ME permasad. I think it was my rvb fic "forgotten" - which i always forget was my first fic uploaded to ao3 LOL, back in 2015. ironic that my first wasnt reflective of the tone i usually write for. i don't wanna reread it to check [even tho my fics from back then are WAY shorter] bc im scared to face how i wrote when i was fresh outta hs lol BUT if i remember correctly/based on the summary, it was a doc/donut fic and I think it was about how after doc had disappeared from the future cube or whatever in canon and no one knew he was gone, i wrote a scene of doc getting upset with donut bc Of All People Why Didnt You Notice I Thought I Meant Something To You 😔 kdlsjfkdlsj i think it ended with doc walking off and donut being SAD and idk maybe they broke up, idr if they were 'officially dating' in the context of that fic. but um hashtag docnut for life.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most all of my fics are happy endings with an exception of like one ^ or two lol. I don't know if i can quantify those!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not to my face if I do lol. I don't think enough people know about me to give a shit if i do stuff they dont like

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope!!!! i dont really like smut personally and it's not the kind of genre i have story ideas for.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't think i've ever done that 🤔

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

girl help i cannot choose. um. well first shout out again to rvb's docnut bc u will always be strong and married in my heart. and in dndads im an oakworthy truther til i die BUT for twst. twst beloved twst i am in that pitfall of i like 50000 different ships. jamiazu is the one i write and draw the most LOL and theyre def a top fave HOWEVER. god. treycater alters my brain chemistry. rookvil marriage real. adeuce beloved fool duo for life. im physically restraining myself from mentioning more KLFJDSKLFJS especially when we get into the multiship/poly web bc god we will be here all day. i can and will be enabled but this post is already long enough GOODBYE!!!!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oooh ok well there was a dndads oakworthy thing I started like last year but pretty soon after I started it, we started seeing more of hermies forbidden other 'true' personality traits and i was like ruh roh this guy keeps pulling a fast one on me, i dont think the direction i had with this fic is fitting anymore. i had barely gotten anywhere with it and it wouldve been short anyway, but i think about what couldve been.... lololol and then for TWST umm. Hehe. Teehee even. Back during nanowrimo I used that as time to start 2 fics: kalim and the great relationship rescue, which is my current multichap fic about kalisil and jamiazu, it’s got about 3 chapters, and I’m still writing it. AND IM STILL GOING TO FINISH THAT ONE!!! but the OTHER one I started during that time and have NOT posted any of it yet was the stuff with my first twst oc, Char, and his place in my big caterella multiverse ideas lol. I’ve posted a bit about that story idea and done a lot of doodles and brianstorming for it, but I fear it would be too intimidatingly ambitious to stick to and I’m not sure writing one concrete fic is the right medium for it 🤔 plus I just don’t think many people would like it much LOL it would be very self indulgent and tapping into my soap opera brain. I feel nervous when I talk about it HAHDBFNTG so I’m not sure I could commit. But I still have what I wrote, and maybe I’ll figure out another way to go with it or maybe I’ll just wake up one day and say WHATEVER and write it anyway lol. I’ve gotten shyer again so we’ll see 🧍

16. What are your writing strengths?

umm. i do not know if it is a strength but i feel more light comedy and dialogue come more 'naturally' to me, but i do not know how well i actually can pull it off LOL also shorter, contained stories. Everything I write is a one shot, and I’m struggling on my recent attempt at a multiple chapter fic BDBFFBFNGD

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

hrhrnrngm more descriptive writing, i find im in the pitfalls of writing TOO MUCH dialogue. and i also feel like when i try to do more serious tone things it comes off as cringe or trying too hard kFDKLSHFLDSJ. no one's said that to me but yknow. fear and whatnot. also ending the story is. Hard. I feel like that’s always a weak part of my fics bc I sit there like WELL I WROTE ALL MY IDEAS HOW DO I WRAP THIS UP…. I worry my endings come off kind of half assed but I do my best lol 😔✌️

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

like are you asking if i would do it? or how i feel when it's done in fics i read? i dunno lol. i could maybe do spanish bc ive studied it a lot but i'd get nervous i think.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

on ao3 it was rvb bu teeeechnically back in my neoseeker forums days i was in there writing like, animal crossing or harvest moon or pokemon stuff. it was very bad bc i was like 10 years old LOL

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

ohoho ummmm. Well I always have fun writing jamiazu and I’ve written a LOT of those lol. I have a soft spot for The Comfort of Familiarity. That’s one of the ones hats taken me the longest to write because I was really trying hard to handle it with care, as it was a less light tone than I typically do and I was trying to explore the characters and their situation in a particular way that I really wanted to come across well with who reads it. It was hard, and I’m not sure I fully got there, but ultimately I did like it quite a a bit. on the flipside, one of my more recent fics and I think now my longest oneshot to date, Blue Raspberry Mango was VERY fun to write lol. That one’s a lot more like what I typically write, silly romcom style lmao. Cater and Idia goofing, characters bickering, friendship, me trying to sneak in as many side ships into the background for funsies, jamiazu is there, it was a good time. And that one started as a prompt suggestion which I feel like often times I end up struggling with and not delivering super well… but this one ran away from me and I had a blast lol. Idikei fixed me 😌✌️

Ty for tagging me! Umm. I am too scared to tag other people 🧍 goodbye jk @officialgleamstar 🫵 You Do It

[sorry if I missed any typos or autocorrect, part of this was on my phone and I always miss SOMETHING lol]

[sydbarrettism]

hey!!! since you're the wrighters expert i want to ask what your favourite aspects of the ship are (such as dynamics, fics/stories you enjoy)? do you have anything specific you want to point out about it or talk about that you haven't so far? apologies for being so forward we're so starved for rpf here lol

omg im flattered im the wrighters expert :3 they're practically my brand tbh. also don't apologize, i love talking about them!!!

ok so the thing is the thing that made me love them is the "what could have been" potential and how they kinda reminded me of some of my fav fictional ships (if they got like. better lmao) i also love how they parallel each other with how they felt about syd, how they've felt isolation in their lives (in different ways) and those bits of interaction in which they sometimes get along

but at the same time, despite loving them a lot, i really REALLY freaking hate a lot of roger's past actions towards rick like.. bestie you did not need to do all that. and it's one of the reasons why i kinda find them to be challenging with how to adapt these guys into a shipping context because i believe it'd take 1878937849 events for them to actually get along together lol (which is why i believe they're essentially like jonmartin from the magnus archives if they never got past season 1)

i've shared this before but this is a gdoc i made which is a bunch of posts and stuff which explains how i view them

also when it comes to my fav fics about them, i've already shared them on my fic rec tag if you wanna check them out! (it's stuff i found on livejournal lol, i particularly recommend the ones with old man yaoi since they're peak)

what else.. i don't think i have anything else new to say about them for now.... oh wait! my friend and i are currently in the middle of this au which is basically if rick never re-joined pink floyd and instead toured with roger, which meant david and nick are the only ones in pink floyd. we've already thought up a bunch of stuff for it but it's still in the middle of getting the details organized. i've already thought up of what the fandom would be like in that au haha

and umm.. yeah i think that's all i can say for now!! thank u for the ask, anon!

[aquareegia]

Hello,

I can't sleep and I just wanted to share some thoughts regarding our book project. These are my own thoughts, I'm sure @vesselsscarlet will share their own thoughts if they want to.

I've overcome the frustrations tbh, I just feel deflated now lol. I just know I will never do something like that ever again. What really got to me, were the asks I received, when we started to get a little more direct.

I almost wish I didn't delete some of them, just to show you how rude and condescending some people were about it... but I really didn't want to have to see it whenever I looked into my inbox because it really made me feel like shit.

It didn't help that people kept comparing us to other projects and made us feel like we are not good enough with what we offered. Other than the downright rude asks, I'm sure those people actually didn't mean any harm, but it still came off iffy in the whole context tbh.

Just to state a few facts... we started this project in December. We announced it very early, we didn't even have a deadline set for a while.

Once we knew a touring schedule, we quickly shared a deadline, which was realistic for us to be able to finish the book in time (despite living in different states and not being able to work directly together). There was plenty of time before and after we announced a deadline. We did put up reminders and updates and we said in our first posts to check out the tag in case you miss something. We simply can't put up weekly reminders and run after every single person. It also would be pushy and annoying tbh.

You're all old enough to follow simple instructions and set your own schedules.

I don't care for explanations why it didn't work out tbh. We all have our private lives that take priority. We all have our struggles with mental health that sometimes cause us to procrastinate and lack motivation for something that isn't a priority. If anyone gets that, it's me. However... we also said that we ask for one simple thing, and that is communication!

We're not some monsters, that'd bite off your head if you asked for more time or something. It's ok if you'd need more time but is it too much to ask for a little heads up?

We have always said that this project is only possible with your help. If there's just cricket chirping in response, what are we supposed to do?

Like I said I personally won't be doing any fan projects in the future anymore. I still very much value the people in this community but I won't lie and say that I'm not a bit disappointed.

Lia and I still have to talk about what we will do with this project. Idk if it even makes sense to extend the time frame tbh. I feel like the majority of those who would've participated, would've done so by now but yeah... idk man.

Guess I'll leave a poll here to get an idea of what to do.

Whatever we choose to do, the book won't be happening this year either way. At the current state, we won't be able to finish it in time for November, so we can only hand it over next year.

Thank you to everyone who submitted their letters and art and did give us a little heads up in case something would be late. We truly appreciate you, and we're sorry we can't hand over your letters as soon as we hoped to. 😔

[malaierba]

ok. for that rancid ask game: 6, 13-16

i wanna know em all

Hello bestie 🫶 Already this is gonna be difficult bcs I was a little annoyed but then I saw your message and now I'm in a good mood LOL

Which ship fans are most annoying

F/arcille fans that mischaracterize (as a simp, or someone butthurt over being turned down, or jealous, etc) & villanise Toshiro. Legitimately who's the guy in that stuff?

Worst blorbification

Hmm 🤔 NGL the main three protag-coded guys (Laios, Toshiro, Kabru) have got it kinda rough.

Laios is used as a stand-in for a top a lot. Again, who's that guy? I know he's weird but he's not as sexually aggressive as I've seen him portrayed. If it's not that, he's a himbo.

With Kabru and Toshiro, I've seen it less since I spent a couple weeks going into tags just to block annoying people LOL. ✨ curating my fandom experience ✨. But people often miss the balance with them?

They're both NICE. Kabru has a martyr complex that's born from an honest concern about humans, it's been said a lot but a lot of his "intensity" are PTSD responses. Which, ofc, a bad look, but he keeps them under control for the most part? Impressive. To me he just looks like a guy who takes politics seriously, yet apparently that makes him nefarious. Please.

And then, my guy lol. Toshiro's usually a patient, observant person? Why is he so often drawn so angry? He'd rather put up with stuff that's truly vexing him than accidentally be impolite. He empathises with Kabru after he stops trying to manipulate him, and seems to have sided with Rin when they fell with Pamela. He's nice! Just a bit serious and anxious.

If it's not this too, it's making those two too... Uke-ish. Kabru gets twinkified and Toshiro gets turned into a blushing dandere (hey, I agree, I also see him as inexperienced and repressed. He still talks to people without blushing and getting flustered though? If anything I think he's more prone to go blue with anxiety than red with bashfulness).

Hmm. I can see why it can be difficult to find the balance with them though. I just also feel like they get shoved into tropes that don't fit them the most.

The one thing you see in fics all the time

I've mainly read fics that star Toshiro, NGL, and I'm super picky so it's not like I have finished that many 😬 but, if I had to say...

People write him as hating Laios way too much, when I think the emotion you need to balance is frustration coupled with respect for the guy and the knowledge that his social fumbles are accidental. Toshiro KNOWS he means well, that's what made it difficult to call him out! He feels he has social rapport with the guy. It never crossed his mind that he COULD find a way to speak up without making it weird.

He said he couldn't stand him during the fight, but I just can't look at it without keeping the context in mind. I'm sure he felt what he said in the moment, and I'm also sure he didn't mean it as much afterwards. The bell is a peace offering, a bridge. He was telling Laios "despite what happens I'm on your side". That's a thing you only do if you feel loyalty towards someone if you ask me.

The one thing you see in fanart all the time

Eh... A mix of the previous two answers lol.

Not a fan of Kabru getting eaten by monster!Laios. That's his trauma.

And I know some people fetishize elements of traumatic events to cope with them, or because sexuality is complex, I know this... But man it's crystal clear they're not doing it as a character exploration! They're not turning on their brains at all.

Can't understand why so many people like this thing

Why is ChilChuck X Reader so popular. LMFAO. I'm not judging!!!!!! But why him?????????

[digitalcockroach]

Hang on hang on your tags on "reverse queerbaiting" are excellent, please if you have the energy go into more detail on them doing "fanfic" romance tropes vs true romance tropes bc I think that's Exactly what I haven't been able to put into words

for context: POST: “I feel like we're almost in an era of like, reverse queerbaiting. Used to be that you'd be tricked into watching a show because the story implied there'd be gay rep, but now they're using gay rep to trick you into thinking there'll be a story.” TAGS: #tbh :/ #all the gay shows are pandering to like not even regular romance tropes but FANFIC tropes #and it's hollow af

Ok let me see if I can get my thoughts into some kind of order on this lol 

I mean to use the most egregious offender as an example, let’s talk about Good Omens s2. Like we come from s1 and the book which operate on a huge scale of time and across the globe with world ending stakes, even when it’s focused on Tadfield or London. There is a whole cast of characters outside of Aziraphael and Crowly with their own motives and agendas that intersect with each other and you can imagine existing before and after the story being told. Then we enter s2 and they’re all gone. God is gone. It’s Aziraphael and Crowley, Gabriel (and Beelzebub), and their neighbors who exist purely to be a Functional Couple oppose A+Cs dysfunctionality. This is kind of the first sin of fanfiction in this case, the world gets smaller and shallower and so do the characters within it. It’s all just feels like props and dressing to get two characters together. The whole Gabe and Beelzebub thing? The only reason I didn’t “see it coming” is because I thought there was no way they would just rip straight from the crackships of AO3 because I have READ THAT PLOT BETWEEN THESE CHARACTERS TWENTY TIMES JUST LIKE THIS. 

Gomens s2 and also the other big recent Gay Shows, Our Flag Means Death and What We Do In The Shadows, really fuckin abuse fanfic tropes to death in more specific ways too though like - a sassy lesbian couple to set the oblivious gays straight, a will-they-wont-they with completely forgone conclusion, everyone is a shy sensitive guy even when they’re ruthless killers everyone is kind of stupid and woobie and seconds from crying all over their soft little love interest, everyone talking in this self actualized therapy speak - SO much very direct TELLING and the SHOWING is just eyecandy, fanservice. The second sin the formulaic predictability and the third is prioritizing fanservice/shipping over storytelling. 

Because that’s the main thing I think? These shows - which I wanna be clear I liked at least at some point but have gotten really disappointed by as they continue - feel like they don’t have a story to tell. They’re just vehicles to get a Gay Couple together, regardless of character consistency or the way more interesting things implied going on in the world around them, and they just shed more and more detail and quality and idk variety? as the main ship’s relationship progresses and the world narrows further and further. It becomes boring, one-note. 

And to cover my bases here I don’t want to be misconstrued as believing these things can’t be or aren’t also true of straight romance shows (or movies, books, whatever) because I think we’ve all seen plenty of Boring Straight Romance, and I am being somewhat generalizing for the sake of what brevity I can accomplish here. But I think the noticeable thing with specifically these new queer romance shows is that they are being aimed at and HEAVILY pandering to yknow 18 - 30 year old chronically online fandom queers because people like Niel Gaiman and Taika Waititi and whathaveyou have witnessed first hand (and made a lot of money from) the absolute frenzy this AO3 donating demographic with go into over this exact kind of content. 

In short, people figured out you can make more money off of really dedicated weirdos with bad taste than you can writing something with depth and substance.

Not everything can be as good as Homestuck I guess!

[bluewinnerangel]

right back at ya cowboy

Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft

[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]

Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.

Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.

I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D

But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.

ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?

ramble out.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

ok its been literally 15 minutes since the finale ended and im getting off the TOH tag.

I am SO DISAPPOINTED in a certain side of this fandom.

it took less than FIFTEEN MINUTES to see enough "lollllll lumity went canon and huntlow didn't, get WRECKED YOU STINKY STRAIGHTS LOL BURY UR GAYS UNO REVERSE LMAOOOOO HOW DOES IT FEEL NASTY ICKY BAD STRAIGHT SHIPPERS" posts to make me actually consider whether I'd rather the show have had a sad ending.

not bc of huntlow, i ship it but never put any hope or weight on it going canon. I'm not "anti-lumity" or whateverthefuck, I don't really think about ships that much in 99.9% of fandoms.

...yall are just extremely fucking

IMMATURE.

I'm queer. I understand how much pain we've dealt with even SOLELY in terms of media rep. I even understand the glee at the concept of "straightbaiting" actually being a thing that happened here.

I also understand the EXTREMELY JUSTIFIED concern and anger around some parts of the fandom seeming to abandon the BIPOC WLW main character/main ship in favor of the Sad Greasy White Boy Of The Week And His White Straight Girlfriend.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why so many "fans" are taking this EXTREMELY POSITIVE, LITERALLY GROUNDBREAKING and immediately turning it against their fellow fans. All this amazing rep, characterization, EVERYTHING and you still find a way to be cruel to your fellow fans.

this isn't a contest.

Lumity is canon.

Huntlow is not.

Huntlow was not a focus of the finale.

I can guarantee you that after that finale, NOBODY was thinking about Huntlow until yall started being fucking mean about it.

YOU brought up the thing you claimed to want the fandom to stop focusing on, for the SINGULAR PURPOSE of enacting some sort of "revenge" on shippers that you projected a whoooole lot of Racism, Homophobia, and Evil onto, despite:

Bi Hunter, Transmasc Hunter, Transfemme Willow, and T4T Huntlow all being EXTREMELY popular hcs/themes in and out of shipping context

A fair chunk of the fandom seeing Willow as BIPOC/East Asian -coded

ALL of the masc presenting queers w parental and/or religious trauma who have spoken out about how seen they feel bc of Hunter

I'm not saying Hunter was a perfect character. He definitely wasn't the main character, or even close.

I'm saying that yall have demonized this part of the fandom SO MUCH that after THAT FINALE.

*THAT. FINALE.*

your FIRST INSTINCT was to ATTACK THEM

over the SHIP (I REPEAT MYSELF) THAT YOU SAID YOU WANTED PPL TO STOP TALKING ABOUT.

I was having a really fun, good, genuine amazing time freaking my shit over Titan!Luz, and Lumity, and Raeda, and King and The Collector and TITAN LUZ!!!!!

yknow. all the stuff the finale was actually about.

and now I'm thinking mainly of huntlow (or at least the discourse around it), angry, and extremely sad that my experience of this finale has been ruined

and that this fandom is the latest to fall into the trap of "blame other fans for actual systemic oppression, regardless of whether or not they are actually upholding it."

I don't know how to get it through your heads that a heavily T4T-headcanoned, likely biracial-coded ship that is CANONICALLY a healing narrative for trauma survivors

is not fucking reylo.

this Evil In Fandom you're angry at 1000% exists but it sure as fuck isn't here.

unless there's a Secret Second Huntlow Fandom That Is Evil And Racist And Hates Lumity that idk abt, this is just a group of sad queer kids sitting next to your own group of sad queer kids

and despite me seeing ZERO ACTUAL HUNTLOW COMMENTS ABOUT THE FINALE * AT ALL *

you, whatever side of the fandom is doing this (I honestly don't know who is making these posts) aren't proving, winning, fixing or righting anything

you're going over to another side of the fandom whose ship didnt go canon

and with ZERO PROVOKATION

you're making them feel like shit for it.

why???

WHY??????

yall "won". you won as much as you can possibly win here. everybody loves the finale. nobody is giving anything but overwhelming love, happy tears, joy and awe to "your" win.

but you still felt the need to make sure someone, somewhere, knew that they "lost".

sry im just so angry at this rn. i was having so much fun. what the fuck is this kind of behavior supposed to prove?

also btw to be clear this is NOT DIRECTED AT ALL OR MOST LUMITY SHIPPERS, LUZ STANS, ETC. ITS NOT EVEN DIRECTED AT "HUNTLOW-ANTIS" EXCEPT THE *SPECIFIC PEOPLE* WHO CHOSE TO USE THE FINALE TO BASH ON OTHERS.

AS FOR THOSE SPECIFIC PEOPLE:

YOU SUCK!!!!!! Thanks for ruining this fantastic experience for me by being a piece of shit on main over some "shipper" crap im not even in.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

A

SHSHSH THANK YOU no im taking that /srs give me back my chronically online time PLEASE but omg tiktok binge it’s been awhile im excited to see some fire edits!!

FRRRRR no because that chapter had all the nagi antis sitting down him caring for chigiri was the highlight of the chapter and yes LMAOO Isagi shoves him to the ground after he finds out about the injury I believe so that makes it sm worse HAHAH

LMAO REUNICLUS SCAMMING AS A SIDE HUSTLE so real imagine there’s a little makeshift tacky mystical booth just set up on the side of the street where reuniclus just sits in waiting for people to pass by to gaslight

I can just imagine all the villainous edits of Karasu that are about to come to life after this weeks ep we’ll fr be watching them like “Lmao no my friends THAT is what we call a silly little closeted loser”

Wait 6-8 miles daily is kinda insane that sounds like it would be really time consuming too LOL the respectful tag has me laughing imagine someone catching you giving a presentation through zoom while on their horse with the respect and etiquette aside that would be funny like “is she pulling out PowerPoint on my horse”

WOOHOO TIKTOK PALOOZA!!!

Barou edits always hit I’ll never forget that first one you showed me that fr had some really strong conversion magic in it

Ok yk I was about to pull out the “Mira clown moment caught in 4K” before I watched but then I watched and realized I’m also part of the circus that edit was a little too good

LMAOOO The Isagi fisheye camera scene always has me reeling like bro wtf is that it’s giving that one boba eyed hamster

STOP I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS A REFERENCE TO THE AIRHORN SOUND FX EITHER???? Ok now that makes more sense I thought he was just ad libbing some random noises

HAHA the tabieita one is so funny im crying its fr them the visuals also have me giggling

AHAHAHAHABAHA TOO TARGETED its giving Aiku and niko getting yelled at Barou for the stain

These were so good i needed this tiktok brainrot session fr LMAO

Also wait about your recent post with the censoring I instantly jumped to itoshi because it’s usually slander but then I realized in this context it’s probably not considering you’re talking about your theme so KARASU???

- Karasu anon

AHAHAH OKAYYY i didn’t want to be a hater in case you were enjoying your offline grass touching time 😭 can’t enter my bad influence era…just hit 1k it would be tragic if i got cancelled already 😰

HELP OKAY THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT ngl isagi is so funny because he actually has 0 chill i feel like people never get his characterization quite right he’s either way too sweet or too much of an asshole but he def is a good mix of being nice while also whipping out the sass at the slightest provocation 🙂‍↕️ nagi and chigiri bffs is so cute fr…yk if you think abt it this just makes the oaeu more canon because chigiri helps reo in wingmanning nagi when aiku ends up one-sidedly beefing with him LMAOAOA

I’M SO HYPEEEE I NEED VILLAINOUS KARASU EDITS idk why my fyp has only been yuki and otoya edits (i mean no complaints because i love those two as well) I NEED KARASU 😫 i need the barou editors specifically to get on it idk what it is with them but they put crack into all of their work i need karasu getting THAT treatment 🤤 meanwhile i’ll be giggling because yes he’s gorgeous amazing problematic king but he’s also the og mature healthy sassy pining love interest of all time 🥹

HAHA yeah it def was time consuming i was only able to do it because there was literally nothing else to do all day 😭 but yeah LMAOAO can you imagine someone just taking an exam while riding your horse atp i’d just be befuddled like what even…

BROOO BAROU EDITS ARE ALWAYS FIRE IDK HOW THEY DO IT they always pick the perfect songs scenes transitions intros EVERYTHING we may also be biased as barou lovers but still

DKSHXJSJZ I WILL ALWAYS DRAG YOU DOWN WITH ME DW 😜 you see the vision though…like wdym rin looking kinda fine rn…IMPOSSIBLE!! HAHA the isagi fisheye took me by surprise too i was like oh hello when it popped up ngl

LITERALLYYY i thought he was just making weird cute sound effects?? i was like okay…who are we trying to impress her buddy…but mimicking the air horn is so in character and funny it has me crying 😭 i love him sm that man has never taken anything seriously a day in his life

THE TABIEITA WAS SO GOOD BUT PLSSS i just know oaeu aiku and niko hop on ALL of the tik tok trends…imagine aiku teaching niko tik tok dances and niko introducing aiku to new brain rot terms as they release 😫 my goat duo fr

YAYYY brain rot sessions always go hard i’m happy i could’ve provided!! and AHH episode two super soon i’m hype!! can’t wait to see my favs back on screen

WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE BUT TABITO KARASU ���⁉️ i’m so attached to having a nagi theme though like he’s my baby…my shining star…my number one…my brand…but KARASU ugh i love him sm too it’s so hard 😭 decisions decisions

also unrelated but this request is taking sooo long the word count is kinda insane though 😰 HOPEFULLY tmrw will be the day it finally drops!!

[dms-saggicorn]

dms: *continues walking minding my business, wanting to avoid the smell and dirty looks*

Goth! YB: *scoffs*

Goth! YB: Whatever.

Goth! YB: *continues to smoke*

dms thoughts: That guy looked so cool, but smoking might take that away someday...shame....

dms thoughts: best get out of here, this hallway or wherever this place is giving me bad vibes.

~~In a another universe~~

Context: Teen or Weeb! Dawn was with your friends after school. They wanted to go somewhere fun and asked Weeb! Dawn to tag along! It was a rare treat they made their way nearly there.

However, then she got a phone call. Her friends in unison groan, knowing all too well who that was.

It was Weeb! Dawn's mother likely once again stealing away Weeb! Dawn's fleeting youth away by making her baby sit or do something for someone else so they could go and do fuck all for all they cared.

Weeb! Dawn excused herself like always, and the group didn't wait for her...

Weeb! Dawn came out with apologies to no one like always....except this time she didn't know how to get home...

After what felt like hours, roaming the lonesome area, she spotted someone, albeit very intimidating someone. She takes a breath and approaches the darkly dressed stranger.

Goth! YB: What?

Weeb! Dawn: *flinces*

Weeb! Dawn: Uh Um s-sorry I...I...I um...

Goth! YB: Out with it

Goth! YB: *Glares and smokes*

Weeb! Dawn: Well uh *sighs*

Goth! YB: *rolls his eyes*

Goth! YB: I'm not going to bite you or some shit christ.

Goth! YB: Now speak.

Weeb! Dawn: I....think I'm lost....I was...with my friends and...then I... went to the bathroom... They must've gotten tired of waiting and...

Weeb! Dawn: *hangs head low*

Weeb! Dawn: I don't...know how to get back...

Goth! YB: *face soften just a bit*

Goth! YB: *smokes*

Goth! YB: *scoffs*

Goth! YB: Ditched you huh? Some friends.

Weeb! Dawn: n-no they're great! I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding!

Goth! YB: Yeah, sure.

Goth! YB: *Spits out cigarette*

Goth! YB: Where you headed to glasses? Back to your lame friends?

Weeb! Dawn: hey! They aren't lame!

Goth! YB: *smirks*

Goth! YB: Seem pretty lame to me.

Weeb! Dawn: How would you know? You don't even know them!

Goth! YB: *gets a bit too close looking down menacingly*

Goth! YB: Neither do you glasses.

Weeb! Dawn:...

Goth! YB: What "friends" ditches you? And by your little panicked reaction earlier, they not only ditched you but ditched you in a place you'd be doomed to get lost in.

Goth! YB: but what do I know?

Goth! YB: They're 'your' friends, right?

Goth! YB: *chuckles*

Weeb! Dawn: ...

Weeb! Dawn: *sniffs*

Goth! YB: wait what're-

Weeb! Dawn: *chokes up*

Goth! YB: *groans*

Goth! YB: Hey look I didn't mean-

Weeb! Dawn: *shoves him away and runs away*

Weeb! Dawn: Creep! Leave me alone!

Goth! YB: Wait! I- Fuck.

Weeb! Dawn: *she runs and after awhile slows down hearing familiar giggling*

It was her friends! They were just up ahead she tries to run up to them just enough to hear them more clearly.

They were talking about how much fun they had and how they wish Weeb! Dawn could have come. This is halted by one of them scoffing.

Friend: as if, she's ALWAYS so damn busy. She NEVER has time for anyone. Like I get it you're the "responsible" one but damn you can't have a life???

Friend 2: yeah true she's can be sooo annoying, too. Seems to never shut up about her nerdy shows, I'm surprised she has friends at all sometimes lol

Friend 3: that "nice girl" act must be tiring too blah she's hiding something for sure.

Friend 4: For real. Haha

Friend 2: you know guys I think we should just cut her off.

Friend 4: Hmm maybe but she can be useful best to keep her around a little longer

Friends: If she bothers to be around for some good use lol

Weeb Dawn heard enough and just...stood there.

Goth! YB then, seemingly out of nowhere, puts his hand on her shoulder. She doesn't look up.

Goth! YB: you uh. Ok?

Weeb! Dawn:...

Goth! YB:...*sigh*

Goth! YB: ...I...can give you some cash for the bus...if you want I...

Weeb! Dawn:...

Goth! YB: look. I know you...they're your "friends" and all but they have no right saying Shit like that to you...

Weeb! Dawn:...

Goth! YB: Sometimes it's best to be alone glasses...

Weeb! Dawn:...

Goth! YB:...

Goth! YB: *grabs Weeb! Dawn's hand*

Goth! YB: Come on.

The pair walk to a nearby bus stop. They don't make a sound with the exception of occasional Goth! YB smoking.

Goth! YB: Ok we're here.

Goth! YB: Do...you want me to stay? Until tge bus comes or?

Weeb! Dawn:...

Goth! YB: *sigh*

Goth! YB: *grabs her hand again, giving her just enough for at least 3 bus ride*

Goth! YB: Whatever, just...get home safe or some shit.

Weeb! *Dawn: clings to the crinkly and slighty dirty dollars in hand.*

Weeb! Dawn:...

Weeb! Dawn: it's funny... My mom only wanted to tell me... to get home safely too... something about...creeps being in the streets... who knew a creep would end up helping me...

Goth! YB: huh? What?

Weeb! Dawn: *looks up and shakes head* nothing, just... Thank you and you too!

Weeb! Dawn: *She smiles warmly*

Goth! YB: *ever so slightly blushes, quickly turning around*

Goth! YB: Thanks.

Goth! YB: *waves goodbye* See you glasses

After sometime a bus came and Weeb! Dawn went home. It didn't occur to her until getting there she realized she didn't get to catch what that admiddly cool looking creeps name was....Shit.

You accidentally stumbled into the smoking area and that goth boy is looking at you funny!

[holdinbacksecrets]

okay i’m ready to answer your questions!

so i “named” my cat honey, short for honeybun. it fits her but it doesn’t feel like it’s for her if that’s makes sense? my mom once told me that everything loved deserves a name and i want something that really fits her. she’s laying on the pillow next to mine as i type this!

i made a tumblr to post my scenarios but i haven’t posted because i’m nervous to. i know i’ll be anon and no one will know unless i tell them it’s me but for some reason i feel like that’s such a scary step. i already made a tumblr just to post there and that was a pretty big step for me but it’s been MONTHS and i haven’t updated it. i need to hop on that soon.

what’s new in my life: i made a new friend at my job! she’s a volunteer and her smile is so bright! i now bring her snacks when i go to work. one of the other volunteers has started calling me the “snack lady”🤣i stay stocked up on snacks. earlier this week i took my mom to a dolphin encounter, where she got to meet, touch and feed a dolphin for the first time. i made another friend there and got to introduce her to some of my coworkers. it was so fun! also took a lot of photos. she had such a good day! i also found out that dolphins are NOT colorblind.. and after asking around(no one knew the answer so i used google😭) i found out that stingrays also aren’t colorblind! fascinating!! yesterday i had a pretty big shock. it’s not something i want to talk about though! and umm.. oh! i made myself a new minghao wallpaper❤️ i hope i didn’t miss anything😭how are YOU???

i hope i can word this right but you have such a way with words, and it’s just so beautiful. i think that’s why i send in requests and suggestions, because i know you’ll write it in that special way only you can. your style is so unique and stands out. i struggle to find that kind of writing style in others and i’m drawn to that style too; so i especially enjoy when you post anything at all.

ahhh, i see, and i think i get what you mean as well. is it still possible you’ll change it again? perhaps you need a little bit more time with her to land on the perfect name. in a previous ask, you described her as posh and deserving of a name fit for royalty, so i was honestly surprised to read that you’ve chosen honeybun. honeybun doesn’t strike me as posh.. more cute? that’s my opinion at least… if you don’t mind me sharing it >.<

i understand that it’s scary and daunting, but it gets easier after you start posting. the first time at anything is the hardest— it’s still unfamiliar, and you can’t be sure how it’ll go. however, i consider tumblr to be a safe place for sharing writing. furthermore, you could start by posting things and not even tagging any of it just to get yourself comfortable with the process and adjust to the feeling of sharing your writing. i remember when i first started posting fics in 2016. i was so inspired by the tumblr writers i was reading at that time and wanted to join in on the fun. because at the end of the day, it’s seriously so much fun.

omg you bring snacks 🥹 that’s so cute, and i couldn’t help but smile because this is something i’ve done as well. very wholesome. big “mom friend” energy lol. are dolphins your mom’s favorite animal? how did you land on visiting them specially? oh geez… i don’t know what to say about the big shock given the lack of context, which is obviously fine. you don’t have to tell me more than you’re comfortable with. i hope everything turns out ok. a minghao wallpaper 👏 nice. the pictures he posted yesterday/the day before yesterday(?) sent me into a tailspin

it’s less than a month until i graduate, so i’m pushing through the last of my assignments. i’m also job hunting… i hope i can find something full time and move out as soon as possible. i’m looking forward to finally having my own place and decorating it however i want to. i feel like my spirit gets a bit suppressed from living at home. if that makes sense. are you going to school?

oh my goodness 😭🥺 thank you so much for sharing kind words. ahhhh you’ve made my heart all warm and gooey >.< i will cherish your compliment, and it means so much to know you come to me specifically to send requests 😖🫂

[emcscared-whumps]

Ok I just have some Thoughts tonight about my taste in whump, and uh, I wanted to talk about it a bit in the whump space rather than my poor friend's dm lol (hi!!)

I was wondering if anyone else is also like this, or if it's just me (details in the rest of this accidentally long post lol). If you have a moment spare, please leave your thoughts in the notes/tags ^-^

So, as I have mentioned maybe a couple of times before on this blog, probably not many times (idk), that I'm actually suuuuper super squeamish

As in,

I could cut my finger a bit and actually pass out, and have done before (from a mere prick to my thumb) ^-^'

There's the context, now back to the point

It took me a while to ever figure out that I was ever into whump despite liking many shows that are generally considered whumpy in this community, like Daredevil or various other superhero movies and shows and stuff. I was probably about 17 when I first figured out "whump" was the word from it (from Tumblr posts reposted to Pinterest), then it took a little while after that to seek it out (as I was still in school suffering)

But, most of what I'd watched that was whumpy were live action/thriller/sci-fi movies, which, don't get me wrong, are still likable and enojyable to me!

Just not all that whumpy

But as soon as I started watching anime of similar genres, well, that's where it got interesting (whumpy, lmao)

But I think tonight really pointed out to me that "yeah, yeah I was right about thinking my preference was for animated/drawn/written whump"

So, Back In The Day, when I was at highschool (years 7 (12yo's) to 12 (17yo's) btw, I was maybe 14/15 at the time...?), there was an anime club hosted by my Japanese language teachers. It was pretty cool, but somehow, they managed to get away with putting on a good chunk of Tokyo Goul

I don't know HOW, but they did lmao

And I thought it was a very neat anime

I was very invested in little Kaneki and found his suffering immensely entertaining (I looooove the turned "monster" (or creature) trope), so that first couple of episodes left an impression on me

Now, the fun thing was that the club was during one of the lunch breaks, so, if you didn't want to starve in fourth and fith periods, you needed to eat something while watching the anime

Cool!

Except, apparently, for most people while watching Tokyo Goul lmao, and that's understandable because it was Very Bloody and heavy on the screams ^-^

Surprisingly enough, I did not have an issue, and I mucnhed away on my bikkies and sammies peacefully watching Kaneki's shit get wrecked

Tonight though. Yeah, that was a time.

My parents are currently watching Mr. Mercedes (the Netflix adaption I believe), in the dining room together, so VAGUE SPOILERS FOR MR. MERCEDES AHEAD, because this involves it

It's dinner time, I'm also at the dining table watching idly while texting and eating dinner, and this poor poor lady dies of arsenic poisoning, very graphically

And it was just awful to see, genuinely sickening and it really, really made it tough to eat, I had to slow down because I was pretty fucking squicked out... very... Yeah I felt a bit sick in the stomach

I mean, props to the actors and actresses and all the special effects/makeup/props artists and everyone involved because it was incredibly convincing and well performed

But FUCK it was gruesome

And it made me remember how icky I can find some live action whump gif sets and stuff like that, and it's solidified in my mind as perhaps something to avoid

I remember this one gifset of a knife getting trailed across someone's skin, not cutting, but the way it caught set my skin absolutely crawling

Ah, it's a bit of a long read, but! Thanks if you got to the end!

But yeah, I'd love to know if it's just me, or if other people are like this ^-^' Because live action whump is very popular and I feel like everyone here likes it in some (whumpy) capacity lol

[cutemeat]

wait as a newish fan can you tell me how / why rob is misogynist? (like besides his weird things on the podcast lol idk if theres more) and also who is jordan lol

ok im gonna say first of all i was mostly just joking in those tags ur referring to KJNFGDKJ just as full disclosure before I dig into this any further. ..

that being said, me joking abt that stuff in regard to rob is bc it just seems like rob is insecure about how he's contributed to a shitty system and really screwed someone (jordan reid, aka the original Sweet Dee) over personally and after being made more aware of his place in contributing to said system he's overcompensating while he's working thru some of that.... and uh. in all honesty it's something that i find funny and make jokes about cuz i am also someone with an extremely fragile ego n it feels good to deflect and make fun of someone else for having a fragile ego LOL

so it seems like rob's talking on the podcast and in other interviews abt misogyny n trying to 'correct' himself or pulling out that fuckin button on the podcast for 'Solves the North Korea Situation'.... i think this ties into him reconnecting with Jordan (who, like i said, was the og sweet dee who got booted from the production at the last minute largely as result of her n rob breaking up n none of the other guys backing her up...) and basically writing the MQ ep A Dark Quiet Death about that whole situation and the falling out.. idk it just seems like. maybe having to reconcile the fact he has been A Part Of The Problem and an asshole has gotten to him n again it feels like he overcompensates for that in the pod n i like to exploit those insecurities im familiar with in my own ways for laughs LOL. but yknow... i am a 20 yr old unemployed HS drop out on tumblr dot com n hes got a nice mansion and successful career in the film industry so i dont feel like im gonna hurt any feelings here..

so with all that context out of the way: i dont think rob is Actually some raging misogynist ... and if he is I wouldn't know either way cuz I Dont Know The Guy! so def take what I say here with a grain of salt I am very often not being serious and bad at using tone indicators so I do apologize if any of it gets confusing kjndfgkjd. he def has been misogynistic in the ways a lot of men will be without rlly thinking much of it (think dennis' obliviousness to how insane some of his logic about women sounds on sunny, but maybe less predatory but again idk the guy lol) but as of now he seems like he's more aware of that n better late than never n all that!

(once again.. a lot of my opinions here are mostly based in my own experiences and emotions projected onto people and situations I have only heard accounts of in articles/blog posts/podcasts n interviews so def keep that in mind. don't take me as the authority on anything lol. google 'jordan reid' + 'always sunny' and read thru her old blog posts about the situation if u are so inclined and draw your own conclusions! but like i said it's a mostly interpersonal thing between two ppl i dont know and it doesnt seem like there's much bad blood on that interpersonal level anymore rather than anger with a system that failed her. that being said its def a part of the shows history that shouldn't just be forgotten or discarded as it is apart of a larger issue anyway. srry this is all so messy if it wasnt obvious by how badly i am at talking abt this stuff i feel weird talking about strangers lives even celebs but yknow. tbh if i wanna make jokes abt this shit i should be prepared to explain myself anyway. like god im so bad at talking abt any of it seriously but i always wanna know all the dirt cuz I'm so fuckin nosy I love drama n gossip and Backstory!!!)

+ this is an older article that sorta sums up the events n links to her blogpost about it!

[betelguwuse]

I’m starting to think maybe I don’t want to get married. Hypothetically I’d love to be in a godly marriage with a man who respects me and sees me as the person that God does (and not only me but women as a whole), but realistically do christian men like that even exist? Mainstream christianity, especially gender discourse, is so watered down and twisted into something that’s more political than biblical. I feel like this is gonna piss off both the christians and feminists, even though I’m both (though some might say I’m not a real feminist, whatever idc lol). Might also tag as Side B because I feel like this is also maybe a Side B mood? But here goes.

Color coded by vague topic, bolded so it’s easier to read.

Like I recently heard of a pastor being criticized for saying it’s a woman’s duty to look good for her husband, and the boomer conservatives were acting like criticisms of this pastor was the end of christianity. There’s no way “looking good” in a biblical sense was anything more than basic hygiene, nowhere near the beauty standards of today; and that is if the idea of looking good for your husband is even in the bible. These people siding with the pastor were saying that any woman who doesn’t shave or hide her “flaws” with makeup or basically completely embody the tradwife meme are bad wives. Like what the literal hell.

Honestly the entire tradwife aesthetic seems to be the goal for a lot of young christian couples, when it’s not inherently biblical. I used to be into it myself because heck yeah staying home, housekeeping, taking care of children, and wearing cute flowery dresses sounds like a dream. But my goals aren’t universal! Some women don’t want kids. Some women want to work. Good and God-honoring women of the bible didn’t all have kids and stay home. I mean the timeline of the bible spans so long, so yeah maybe there were times when most women did. But that doesn’t mean women who didn’t were bad wives or lesser women. Not to mention there’s such a blurred line currently between cute tradwife lifestyle and creeps who fetishize the idea of a traditional (and by traditional they mean submissive) wife. Gross.

Another thing too many christian men do is say women can’t be in any position of power in the church. There is the whole specific issue of whether or not women should be the highest up actual pastor of the church, and I don’t know enough about that whole debate to validate or debunk it, but I’m not talking about that specifically here. Aside from that one position, a lot of christians think women can only teach other women and girls but not guys, even like literal child boys. That’s so weird, like imagine thinking a little boy has more authority than, or even equal to, a grown woman? Couldn’t be me. And this whole idea comes from an out of context “I do not permit women to speak in the church” from a regular human guy. And the reason he said this was that the women around him were spreading heresy. I still think it’s flawed logic to exclude all women from speaking in that situation just because most of them were wrong, but again, this wasn’t a command from God. This was just a guy recording his church experience and doing his flawed human best to manage it. Various women throughout the actual bible outside of this one leader’s timeline held positions of power in various churches. And modern day american christian men think biblical womanhood is all about subservience? Bro what bible are you reading?

I just want to make it clear that these are all just generalizations, but having been in various actual biblical communities and conservative christian communities, I can kinda pick up on the general sexist behaviors of the latter. But unfortunately in today’s political climate more and more young christians are only being exposed to political opinions that are surface level americanized good christian morals, but not actually biblical.

Even on top of that, even if a man knows of these biblical misconceptions, we live in a society. Like we’re constantly exposed to women’s sexualization, and it’s pretty impossible to escape that. I don’t want to spend my life with someone who’s grown up in a world where women are seen as weak, objects, pleasure machines, etc. And yeah we can unlearn these biases (honestly I hate the word unlearn but I can’t think of a substitute rn), but it feels like a hassle to casually figure out whether a guy can make an effort to understand what women go through, and if I were to just bring it up I’d scare them away. And that’s not to say I’m some perfect person who’s never sexualized men, we are all sinners after all and we live in a fallen world etc etc. But a whole society where women are so objectified that it’s normal for little boys to be watching porn, that just doesn’t really happen with little girls. I can’t speak for all women, but when I started seeing men sexually it was in my late teens when I realized like ‘oh I can sexualize men too? wild. ok I’m an adult lemme check it out’. Still sinful, but not ingrained in me from porn ads as a kid the way most young boys have been since like the creation of the internet.

Even the men currently in my life who genuinely want what’s best for me are so incredibly misogynistic it’s baffling. My male family members see any woman who breaks an imaginary dress code or ideology is some kind of deviant. I just want to make it clear that this is MY family and I’M the only one who gets to complain about them. We all love each other here even if the males are horribly wrong.

So I shaved my head for halloween and my dad could barely look at me, not because he was exactly mad or anything but just because I looked ugly to him. He always says ‘close the windows in your apartment because men will spy on you changing’ but after my hair was gone he was all ‘actually don’t bother because nobody will look at you looking like that’ like wow I wasn’t aware men only sexualized women for their hair. Like you really think a gross creeper is gonna be turned off by a fully naked oblivious vulnerable woman just because she’s bald? That’s not how any of this works. And just today my sister was watching a goth youtuber egirl or something, I didn’t see her makeup but my dad said stuff like ‘ew why does she look like that, maybe it’d be cool as a costume but how is she going to get a job’. Like, I’m not one to go ‘women don’t wear makeup for men’ (because most women who only use makeup to hide their insecurities and follow beauty standards very much just do it so they don’t get backlash from others, if not directly to please men), but when it’s a fun crazy look that’s not meant to be pretty, I’m all for that shit and generally I hate when men lose respect for a woman just for wearing something they don’t like. Like fashion isn’t real and your appearance should be as costumey or weird as you want without people losing respect for you. Also like...do men know that makeup isn’t permanent?? Like if she wanted a job that required no makeup she could easily wipe her face off and get one?? Not only that, but people can work from home and/or be self employed. Maybe youtube itself was this girl’s job. Who the hell cares man. And the worst thing here is my brother outright said one time “the root cause of feminism is pride”. B r u h. And this was back when I considered myself an anti-feminist, even then I knew that feminism started for good reason and I was absolutely furious. I think I kept it to myself like a coward lol, but if anyone said that to me now I’d tear them apart. In a debate I mean, not like literal violence.

Tldr: I’m not trying to say men are inherently more evil because there’s evil in everyone, but the way it takes shape in men in most societies is so insidious and inescapable. I love my family and guy friends, but I don’t want to deal with one in a romantic/sexual relationship because I don’t know if even the most educated and goodest christian boi in this world can see me as a true equal. It sucks because I want sex and children, but when the mainstream idea of hetero sex is female submission, it just makes me shrivel up and contemplate becoming a nun. I’m not even catholic. But even nuns are sexualized and degraded in coomer’s disgusting brains. In conclusion I’m going feral and starting my own woman-only church in the woods let’s go ladies.