#ok seriously tho happy autism ACCEPTANCE month

[lumaxramblings]

happy autism awareness month

be aware of them

[thetaylorfiles]

Hi! It's been over a year that I habitually come to your blog to see what you're up to & it's comforting. I hope you're doing well. Anything fun or new happen recently? I've never tried Hinge-- I'll check it out!! Honestly, my roommate and I have been struggling with quarantining, knowing some peers have been going out. We are on the same page about it, tho! And healthwise we're good! Everything else has been ok! I've been writing creatively more, and it feels good. Maybe Taylor inspired me!

It’s been a long time that I come habitually you my blog too! Hahaha! But Folklore brought me back and I’m so glad it did. I’ve really missed you guys. I absolutely love getting to talk with so many cool people. I feel like some of you are my friends.

And now, more than ever, with so much bullshit misinformation being pushed out there and Fox News brainwashing of people, and actual fuckimg conspiracies happening, this blog feels timely in a way. Conspiracies in the real world right now are actually matters of life and death. Ask Herman Cain. And thousands of other non-famous people.

I see my mother reading bullshit that spins in directions that they should never go to and I worry about her aging, fragile mind and I want to ducking smash the fucking far right and their goddamn conspiracies and lies.

So, yeah. If I can spend time on here, having fun talking about a celebrity that I adore, fighting against one tiny conspiracy (that, thankfully, isn’t that harmful), and having fun, then yeah. I’m good.

So, yeah. Check out Hinge! I told my friend that at the very least or best, you could meet a cute girl that you hit it off with and you could have one of those relationships with that we all had when the internet was new and we met people from all over and thought we were in love from talking all the time over IM and the phone. You may not be able to meet up now (unless you meet The One and take the right precautions), but you could have someone to flirt with and be excited about! That sounds so delicious to me! Seriously.

I think everyone is struggling with quarantining. If you’re not, you’re an anomaly. I think I’ve finally accepted it for the most part. But I’m very lucky. I have my best friend with me and I have my kids. I get breaks and I have my parents to see a few times a week.

However, school starts tomorrow. And not only do I fucking loathe homeschooling and teaching like crazy, but I’ve now got two kids who are really in it in terms of curriculum. Last year my girl was young enough that she didn’t have to do much. And my son is on the autism spectrum. Which, for him, means that he sees school as a place where you do school work. And home is for relaxing. He just CANT separate the two.

The last few months of distance learning last year was a nightmare with him. Constant, bad fighting to get him to do anything. And I hate fighting him. He’s not trying to be bad. His brain just works differently. I got him to do a few assignments a day last year but he didn’t learn shit. I had to beg him or bribe or fight him on it. It was AWFUL. And I hope to god it’s now like this this year.

If I could, I’d say, okay, take a gap year. (Which btw, the schools should be saying that to everyone. Elementary kids (or all) should just get a gap year till we can do in person learning). Don’t do your work and you’ll just start next year at the grade you are now. But then he’d lose all his friends. And do you know how hard it was for him to make friends? He finally has this small group of girls and boys that love and accept him. I can’t take that away.

Plus, my daughter is now in 2nd and she’s got a full day every day. I just don’t know how I’m going to do it.

On top of that, this summer has at least given them their good mental health back. At the end of last school year I was dealing with depressed, anxious, angry children who felt suffocated and untethered. It was scary. Bad mental health for them both. I did what I could this summer to make it better for the both of them. And it worked. But now we’re going back into it and my sunny, happy kids are going to turn depressive. They both have said some alarming things when like this.

Kids just aren’t meant to be kept home, away from everyone.

Sorry. This got way too poor me. Thing is, so many of my friends are dealing with the same thing. Do you know how many 5-7 year olds I know that are now in therapy for deep depression, anxiety and self harm? It’s scary.

But we’ll do our best!! Got some ideas and I’m hopeful. And dear god let Biden win so he can eventually turn this around.

Wow. I’m so sorry to vent like that. Thank you for listening.

Hey. Do you ever want to talk off asks? My DMs don’t work. I can’t get any DMs. But if you send me a private anon, I can answer you privately and I’ll give you my number and we can text. I do it with another friend from here too. Would love to chat more! As long as you’re cool with someone who sometimes takes forever to reply and sometimes replies rapid fire. Hahaha