#ok now i’m fr going back to sleep!!!! bye

[goodluckbabeheffron]

you can learn a lot about somebody based on whether they prefer the leckie half or the sledge half of the pacific

[wttcsms]

WAIT DON'T CLOSE IT YET!!!!! the 'love story told in untraditional format' prompt and DABI??? mm.

would like to meet, touya todoroki ;

pairing touya 'dabi' todoroki x f!reader word count 1.9k synopsis the dregs of society run rampant on hinge, and everyone knows you're not going to meet The One on there. but you know the saying... love does come when you least expect it. alternatively: catching feelings through the hinge dms. content contains one reference to jumping off a building, some sexual jokes author's notes OK not necessarily a love story, but there are feelings in involved, i swear. this is supposed to be fun & silly!!!!

You nearly throw your phone across the room. Download Hinge, your friends encouraged you. It’ll be fun! 

You frown at Shigaraki’s ever-so-eloquent opening line of I’d blow yo back out. Yeah, you can see why this app was designed to be deleted. The fucking dregs of society are crawling all over this thing. Just one nice, well-adjusted individual. That’s all you’re asking for! 

Apparently, any decent guy is either taken or not on Hinge. You debate throwing in the towel and just meeting someone organically, like, out in public, exactly as the good lord intended, but right before you do, your phone vibrates.

New Notification!

Hinge | Dabi liked your image!

Hinge | Dabi sent you a chat!

It’s a Friday night, and you know for a fact that there is not a single sane man on this app, especially at this hour. Considering the fact that you’re sitting in bed right now, about to rewatch Pride & Prejudice for the sixth time this week, what else do you have to lose? Dignity? You open the app.

Apr 22 10: 24 PM

Dabi: You’re hot, what’s wrong with you

You: ?? 

Dabi: You’re too hot to be single and on here. What’s your deal 

You: you’re on here too? 🤨

Dabi: Would you say I’m too hot to the point where it’s suspicious I’m on here

You: i’m not here to give you an ego boost

Dabi: Then what’s the point of being on here

You: so you just get on here for free compliments?

Dabi: Maybe I have premium. Maybe I pay for these compliments 

You: yeah, you look like the type to pay for hinge premium ngl 

Dabi: Bye I’m going to talk to girls that are easier to manipulate 

You: please do 🙏 

Apr 23 1:21 PM

Dabi: Did you miss me

Apr 23 3:15 PM

You: so much

Apr 23 4:47 PM

Dabi: How much

Apr 23 6:01 PM

You: i was going to jump off a bridge if u didn’t text me 

Apr 23 8:01 PM

Dabi: Damn that’s crazy

Dabi: How I don’t care 

Apr 23 10:15 PM

You: don’t you have anyone else to bother

Dabi: I want to bother you though 

You: you probably scared off every girl you’ve ever come in contact with 

Dabi: True

Dabi: Except for you because you’re stupid

You: you pay for hinge premium, there’s an idiot in this conversation but it’s def not me

Dabi: I was joking 

Dabi: I don’t have money like that

You: i can tell

You: you probably take girls out for coffee as a first date, and then make them venmo u their half of the bill

Dabi: Nah

Dabi: I make her pay the full amount

You: i’m not surprised

Dabi: That was a joke too

Dabi: I never take girls out 

You: thank God

You: you’d probably be every girl’s worst date story

Dabi: Want to test that theory out 

You: no thanks, i don’t feel like being content material for some crime podcast 

Dabi: Smart girl

Apr 24 12:13 PM

Dabi: Wyd

You: at the police station, filing a restraining order on you 

Dabi: Damn 

Dabi: You want to be the one to put me in cuffs

You: the officer here actually has pink cuffs, i know some guys find that emasculating but you seem like you wouldn’t mind

Dabi: I love pink actually 

Dabi: I’m so down

You: i think you’re my dream guy

You: more like my sleep paralysis demon, but same difference 

Dabi: Aw you think of me when you sleep

Dabi: You’re that obsessed already

You: stfu 

Dabi: Don’t feel bad 

Dabi: I’m a munch fr

Dabi: I need u

You: what you need is to be put on some medication 

Dabi: Yeah you’re my medication

You: you need to be psychologically evaluated 

You: r u a social experiment 

Dabi: Stop flirting with me 

You: you’re so childish

Dabi: Am I bothering you

Dabi: Do I elicit strong emotions 

You: you don’t look like someone who knows the word elicit 

Dabi: I’m in grad school

You: wow

You: this is the first time you’ve left me genuinely speechless 

Apr 24 3:55 PM

Dabi: Yo when’s ur bday 

Dabi: Do you have any siblings 

You: are u gonna ask for my mother’s maiden name too 

Dabi: Yeah actually 

Dabi: Give me your ssn while you’re at it

You: ur a creep, ur lucky ur cute

Dabi: Wow, you can’t have deep convos with anyone any more without being accused of trying to get answers to their security questions

You: tell me something abt you first

Dabi: My dad sucks

You: yeah you look like you would have daddy issues

Dabi: Lmao

Dabi: I’m being fr though

You: yeah, a lot of dads do suck. what abt the rest of ur family?

Dabi: I haven’t seen them in years

You: oh

You: do they suck too?

Dabi: Nah

Dabi: I moved out as soon as I could 

You: your dad was that bad?

Dabi: The worst

You: are you trying to get pity pussy rn???? don’t tug on my heartstrings if it’s all just a lie

Dabi: Damn wtf

Dabi: But also depends. Do u wanna give me some pity pussy rn

You: bye i thought we were actually having a serious moment 

Dabi: I wasn’t lying. Swear

Dabi: Now tell me something too

You: im an attention seeker. that’s why im on here

Apr 25 1:56 PM

Dabi: Did u miss me not giving u attention

Apr 25 3:56 PM

You: sorry, i was having really crazy sex waiting for u to come back

Dabi: Fire

Dabi: You deserve it

Dabi: Me next?

You: only if you promise to tell me u love me before the post nut clarity hits

Dabi: I love manipulating women during sex

Dabi: Anything for u 

You: you say that but someone else is in my dms telling me that i can be his housewife and raise our kids and never work a day in my life again so pls top that offer 

Dabi: DAMN

Dabi: I bet he’s boring 

You: he’s not boring, we’re actually getting married and gonna have a big family

Dabi: Well clearly the fact that ur talking about him to me shows that u aren’t interested in him 

You: i’m telling u abt him so u have something to aspire to

Dabi: Damn you should date him then 

You: that’s the first intelligent thing you’ve said 

Apr 26 7:00 AM

Dabi: I hate you

Dabi: Wyd today

You: pls mind ur own business 

Dabi: Smd

Dabi: Tell me or I block you

Apr 26 8:19 AM

Dabi: U suck

You: and swallow

Dabi: No you don’t

Dabi: You probably spit it out

Apr 27 9:34 AM

You: true but in my defense, you look like you would produce something that tastes like toxic waste

Dabi: Were u deadass ignoring me 

You: don’t be so needy, dabi. it’s not a good look

Dabi: Sorry that was a moment weakness 

Dabi: So what now

Dabi: Is this when u give me ur insta

You: i don’t have any social media

Dabi: Nah you’re a catfish

You: maybe

Apr 27 1:34 PM

Dabi: Wyd

You: you’re a true wyd warrior, do u realize that

You: i’m currently getting my back blown out by a dude who posted his headshot as one of his hinge pics. i am not even faking my moans.

Dabi: Stfu 😂

Dabi: Do u even know what sex is

Dabi: Name one position 

You: easy, missionary 

Dabi: Well you’re on your phone so obviously the sex you’re having isn’t that good 

You: im just a good multitasker 

Dabi: tell me if ur shit is grippy

You: hold on, let me ask him

Dabi: Whats his name

Dabi: Whats he saying

You: don’t worry abt his name

You: he told me im gripping him so tight, it’s like i’m trying to take his blood pressure rn

Dabi: LMAO 

Dabi: That means ur not attracted to him

You: wow, a guy who knows that tight doesn’t equal aroused, i’m genuinely impressed w you 

You: and for the record, i would never actually fuck a guy who posts a professional headshot as one of his pics on hinge 

Dabi: Oh now you tell me

Dabi: Guess I have to cancel the appointment I just made to get a headshot done 

Apr 28 6:20 AM

Dabi: Im leaving Okinawa to go back to work. I’m sad, cheer me up

You: just commit a crime so they won’t let you leave

You: also i think maybe u need a psych eval or smth bc why are u still talking to me 🤨

Dabi: Nah tbh you’re the most interesting person on here

Dabi: I’m gonna go to tokyo and commit a crime on u 

You: yea, u not being in my guts rn should be a crime

Dabi: Chill my dick isn’t big enough for that 😂 

You: i want you to seek professional help

Dabi: I want u to seek these nuts in ur mouth

You: when should i ghost you

Dabi: Whenever u want bae you can ghost me anytime 

Apr 28 7:26 AM

Dabi: REPLY

You: u literally told me i could ghost u anytime WHAT IS UR DEAL

Dabi: Damn ok well when you do at least say goodbye

You: when i do, i’m reporting ur hinge account in the hopes that u get banned and have to resort to meeting women irl

You: i’m actually reporting ur account rn

Dabi: Good idea

Dabi: I’ll report u too 

Dabi: Before you get banned from hinge, can I have your number

You: no

You: i don’t give my number out to random ass strangers online

You: and ‘dabi’ is a weird name to have saved in my contacts

Dabi: Touya

Dabi: That’s my real name

You: oh

You: who the hell uses a fake name on a dating app??? 😭

Dabi: Stranger danger is real

Dabi: If I take you out on a date will you give me your number

You: a REAL date???

Dabi: Yeah I’m actually a gentleman in case you couldn’t tell

You: i don’t know how i could’ve missed that fact.

Dabi: I’m being fr though

Dabi: Dinner reservations and everything

You: are you paying the entire bill 🤨

Dabi: Why wouldn’t I

You: hmmm

You: every sex joke i made was definitely just a joke though, pls don’t get any crazy ideas

Dabi: Obviously you were joking, I’m not an idiot

You: you’re not gonna try to hit on the first date?

Dabi: If it’ll make you more comfortable, I’ll tape a 10 ft pole to my chest so I can’t get anywhere near you

You: cute

Dabi: Dinner tomorrow?

You: yes, dinner tomorrow 

Dabi: And if I do well, I get your number?

You: hmmm

You: i guess

Dabi: Fuck yeah

Dabi: I’m tired of texting you through hinge 

You: you only get it IF you do well

Dabi: I’m gonna rock your shit 

Dabi: Romantically 

You: sure you will

Apr 30 12:01 AM

Are you sure you want to delete the Hinge app?

Yes | No

You selected Yes! Reason for deletion?

[ ] No new matches

[ ] App is difficult to work with

[ ] Found another app to use

[ X ] I met someone

[borathae]

Chapter 6

HOSEOK BITCH STOP GRANDMA???? THATS A STRETCH AND KNOWING U ARE AN ANCIENT BEING, DAMN I-

Hoseok stumbles, colliding with Seokjin’s chest. ofc he laughs with his entire body FUCK I MISS HIM WTF NAH NOPE WE WONT CRY WE MUST STAY FOCUSED BROTHER

JIN U BETRAYED ME??? HOW COULD YOU

Seokjin pleads, giving you the biggest puppy eyes that man hates aegyo on command, but watch his ass do aegyo on command if its on run bts tasks 😭 ik he will be the most supportive one if you told bts you are selling feet pics

who calls their fraternity Alpha? What kind of superiority complex do they have?” 💯fr

What are you? Secret vampires or something?” um

So mysterious”, Hoseok says, ok ig

“that man can be an asshole.” WHAT DO U MEAN MY KITTY IS AN ASSHOLE????

dig his metaphorical fangs into your neck and drain you of your metaphorical blood WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? (ik what it means, but 👀👀)

at least she got her sleep and is stress free now, i guess thats a win

JAMAL CHILL?? OOH JIN TELL EM SIS, WHATS HIS PROBLEM?

they are quaking with the desire to punch each other’s faces in. BE LESBIAN, PROBLEM SOLVED YEEHAW

Without me? homie really said that with his whole chest

It’s one of those activities you like to call terribly boring." ??? sir ??

also u know what, i will make it unboring for you real quick, lets go on a pirate ship, that will make u scream

dont judge my man yall, he was giving birth to lie on the pirate ship

WHAT DID TAE TELL HIM???? JAMAL SMILED AT ME??? his moodswings be like ➡️⬅️⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️↕️↔️🔄️↪️↩️⤴️⤵️🔃

joon asks me out to study AAAAAAH 😩

holding his arm before you giggle into it. *twitching eyes WHY SHE GOTTA LIVE MY DREAM AAH BUTTER TAE THOSE ARMSS 🤤😋

“Oh you’re still here?” Taehyung asks STOP HE IS SOO SASSY, GIVE THAT MAN LONG NAILS

making Taehyung chuckle.......... one of his weirdly dishonest ones. tae when jin forces him to laugh at puns (that still makes me cackle)

He is a self-centred peacock PEACOCK DAMN GURL

“Violence is never the answer IT IS THE SOLUTION

ok sorry tae, back to serious mode, IS THAT FORESHADOW TO HIS PAST(mentioned in drabbles)

we are going swing dancing today UWUW

I can’t dance. What if I make a fool of myself?” I CANT DANCE EITHER, LETS GET MARRIED we can swing dance together for shits and giggles and get drunk in each other's laughter and smile, kissing passionately as if we are still in high school.

(omg that was so romantic, lemme just copy that)

did i tell you i still love the way he talks, its so coquette, in a manly way

I am a terrible student. i got exams in a month i have barely studied 😃😭

time does really fly fr it does, you wish it went fast, but when you think back, you wish you could live in that moment one more time

“cake is quite the delicacy oof the fanciness

ah yes old stuff *sighs in delight and coziness

There is fog in the air. It got stuck on the rooftops of the houses. Like a perfect gradient it makes them disappear into a grey nothingness. if this scene was on tv, what color light would it have?? (background lights you know) i was thinking of yellow, since we are talking about antiques

“I guess…” you look out the window for quite some time to think of an answer. You look at the perfectly polished stones of the sidewalk. You watch how the rain builds little rivers in the nooks and crannies. And that is when you get your answer. and the lights slowly becomes cool and blue (blue for calm, unity and stability)

thats a nice perspective of history but for the love of god, i cant stay awake or mentally present during it 😭

With your cheeks burning up like crazy and a big smile on your face you look out of the window again. A swing song comes on the radio, Taehyung turns it louder the tiniest bit. AND THE LIGHTS TURN PINK

“N-no? I-I’m alright”, you stutter. we can see that

Taehyung gets a few (probably painful) steps on his toes, but he doesn’t say anything. MASOCHIST ALERT 😭

stop flattering me im shyyyyy *shakes booty like jimin

this is so cute bye im soo single

“this was like in the movies! Do it again!” SHE IS SOO CUTE UWUW MOVE TAE SHE IS MINE *hits the gym so i can yeet tae out of the way and carry her

HE DID IT AGAIN HEEEHEEEEHEHHE

“Okay but that throwing thing you did? You can’t just do that without training first. Also why are you so strong? It’s inhuman really.” SAY IT SIS

I just think you are beyond precious”BYE IM GONE

Why do an elderly lady and Taehyung know each to such extent that they are hugging as if they were two old friends reuniting? dont overthink, they are just besties, um they met on a idk metro yeah

“it’s been so many years and yet you still look the same. While look at me”, OBVIOUSLY ITS SUS

Perhaps I should have taken the offer back then.” 👀👀

“What offer?” um the plastic surgery offer, anti aging laser. HERBS YEAH IT WAS THE HERBS, SHE MISSED OUT ON AN HERBAL MASSAGE

No way! That’s splendid! Just what you dreamt of!” they are such cute besties pls

It is hard not to choke on your olive, not when your body is burning up like that. i choked on air

How is it?” WHY IS THIS SOO HOT STOP DONT FOLD THAT FAST BITCH NA UH *also folds like a lawn chair in a sec

Taehyung gets off the barstool and closes the distance between you and him. SIR MY MENTAL HEALTH???

you stutter, knees buckling slightly as he helps you stand up. SLIGHTLY???? u mean buckling like a trying on heels

You haven’t told anyone ever but in your dreams you always pictured your prince charming to be good with elderly people and kids. Not that you would tell anyone your stupid fantasies, but you really did picture him like that. we all do, tae is a prince charming *sighs in high standards

“I think you gave that lady proper heart palpitations fr, i got so giddy just reading

And so full of life”, 👀👀👀as opposed to what sir???

Taehyung seems properly flustered for a moment, eyes flitting downwards and blinking rapidly. YES WE GOT THE CUTIE PIE FLUSTERED YEEHAW THIS IS A WIN FOR THE GAYS AND UNGAYS (i love to use this in sentences unrelated to sexuality)

quite sad to think that we are looking at something which has died thousands of years ago ... Well if you say it like that mood sis

it is nice to know that we can look at the past when we look at the stars?” waaaah im in love with her

I always thought of them as a reminder of death”, “or rather hell.” AYO??👀👀

they are still burning bright. Mustn’t it be such a burden to never get to rest?” ooh

*starts playing love maze

“Then you mess up, you mustn’t worry about mistakes you haven’t even made yet” i will try to remember this all the time

because right now I am thinking that this lamp is also alone, surrounded by darkness and thick fog and it should feel so terribly lonely and yet here it is, outshining both of them." 

HOW DO U WRITE THIS WELL?? LEAVE US SOME TALENT CRUMBS

People normally aren’t happy when they are around you and finally experiencing it feels so good.  WHO HURT YOU POOKIE??? IM COMING WITH MY FRYING PAN

this is soo cute i cant, the writing, them, the lamp and the stars gosh, i feel so giddy i wanna spin around the lamppost like a simp does in music videos

Yes darling” Taehyung whispers and there is obvious seduction in his voice. OHO HO HO I SEE U NAUGHTY BOI

this was a cute chapter im gonna sleep soo good with idk grass and unicorns in my dreams

HOSEOK BITCH STOP GRANDMA???? THATS A STRETCH AND KNOWING U ARE AN ANCIENT BEING, DAMN I-

lmoaoao he is so mean for no reason fajsdfja I love him JFAJDFJ

Hoseok stumbles, colliding with Seokjin’s chest. ofc he laughs with his entire body FUCK I MISS HIM WTF NAH NOPE WE WONT CRY WE MUST STAY FOCUSED BROTHER

LISTEN I MISS HIM TOO OMFG I'M IN PAIN

Seokjin pleads, giving you the biggest puppy eyes that man hates aegyo on command, but watch his ass do aegyo on command if its on run bts tasks 😭 ik he will be the most supportive one if you told bts you are selling feet pics

I miss him so much 😭 BUT ALSO LESS THAN A MONTH TILL HE IS BACK OMGMGMG (the most supportive for feet pics would be Tae though change my mind. you can't.)

who calls their fraternity Alpha? What kind of superiority complex do they have?” 💯fr

no but it will ALL MAKE SENSE LIKE LIKE LIEK LIEKEKE LIKEKE

“that man can be an asshole.” WHAT DO U MEAN MY KITTY IS AN ASSHOLE????

the foreshADOWINGNNG (i said too much)

dig his metaphorical fangs into your neck and drain you of your metaphorical blood WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? (ik what it means, but 👀👀)

HELLOOOOOOOOOO

Without me? homie really said that with his whole chest

THE JEALOUSY of this man LIKE

It’s one of those activities you like to call terribly boring." ??? sir ??

i love their sass fr fjadsjf

WHAT DID TAE TELL HIM???? JAMAL SMILED AT ME??? his moodswings be like ➡️⬅️⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️↕️↔️🔄️↪️↩️⤴️⤵️🔃

perhaps something with her metaphorical blood HELLOO

joon asks me out to study AAAAAAH 😩

AAAH (scared)

holding his arm before you giggle into it. *twitching eyes WHY SHE GOTTA LIVE MY DREAM AAH BUTTER TAE THOSE ARMSS 🤤😋

when this video dropped I lost IT

ok sorry tae, back to serious mode, IS THAT FORESHADOW TO HIS PAST(mentioned in drabbles)

mhmhmmhmh

time does really fly fr it does, you wish it went fast, but when you think back, you wish you could live in that moment one more time

YES THIS OMFG the most painful thing ever 😭

ALSO I love how you thought of different colours during the scene <3 I love this energy heheh <3

Taehyung gets a few (probably painful) steps on his toes, but he doesn’t say anything. MASOCHIST ALERT 😭

there are no lies to be found here tbfh

“this was like in the movies! Do it again!” SHE IS SOO CUTE UWUW MOVE TAE SHE IS MINE *hits the gym so i can yeet tae out of the way and carry her

NO BUT THANK YOU i LOVE HER SO MUCH she is so cute frrr

“it’s been so many years and yet you still look the same. While look at me”, OBVIOUSLY ITS SUS

it IS

lmaooao you losing it over Tae existing is so me fr

it is nice to know that we can look at the past when we look at the stars?” waaaah im in love with her

me fr

I always thought of them as a reminder of death”, “or rather hell.” AYO??👀👀

THE FORESHADOWING GOES CRAZY FR ps: i forgot the stars and photography part during this chapter and now im <3 holy moly they were so cute together in the beginning im so soft

People normally aren’t happy when they are around you and finally experiencing it feels so good.  WHO HURT YOU POOKIE??? IM COMING WITH MY FRYING PAN

NO BUT FR

this is soo cute i cant, the writing, them, the lamp and the stars gosh, i feel so giddy i wanna spin around the lamppost like a simp does in music videos

I'M HAPPY YOU LOVED IT SO MUCH HEHEHE 💜💜

[thelovelybitten]

vera's first watch of south park - season 2 (part 2)

apparently tumblr has a character limit so lol here's part 2 of my watch of season 2

EPISODE 8:

Last day of skewl !!!!

They just want fireworks :’(

AYO WENDY PLAYS CLARINET SHE JUST LIKE ME FR

Cartman on French horn !!

Stan, Kenny & Kyle play violin that’s cute !! Will note

They all WEAR SUITS NSGNKNGS SO CUTE

Chef get them fr

EPISODE 9:

Film festival episode !! This is exciting

Wendy popping off at Cartman as usual, she just never misses

Oh so stendy broke up??? Depression

“She’s NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!” Do u want me dead? Yes

Stan get back with Wendy challenge ? Pls i need y’all together

“If she holds his hand in the theatre it will be all over for him” Kyle has never spoke more real words

STENDY MOVIE SCENES <3 LFG

Stan scarred w lesbians whoops

Stan slowly becomes an ally, as previously stated in my s1 post, i will make sure that is so >:(

KYLE SINGING ON THE TOILET KBSBGBDBD

Okay alr the cartman ass screen joke was funny ok i laughed

Not them looking for mr Hankey BYE

AVERAGE CARTMAN TAKING CLOUT…

Stendy back at the movies AAAAAAA

AWWW HE GRABBED HER TISSUE THAT’S SWEET OF STAN <3333

So ur telling me Kyle had a piece of shit in his mouth and there’s photo evidence??? NOT COOL

Style “I’m here for u” ugh they’re besties fr fr

Wendy asks stan to see a movie and immediately abandons Kyle HE’S WHIPPED

But also how dare u Stanley KYLE NEEDED U

OH MY GOD. JWGJBSDBGKJDSBKJSDB STAN IS TRYING TO HOLD HER HAND DURING THE MOVIEEDDJVFJKJKNFV KFV

WaIT IS THAT WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO DO THE WHOLE TIME? HOLD HER HAND?!?!?!?!?!?

I’M mentally unwell

No bc end me I’m CRYING SOBBING THROWING UP

HE TRIES TWICE ????F?E?G?G?F no bc that’s so fucking cute

No bc it’s Stanley “she’s not my girlfriend” marsh to Stanley “this girl is so cute i wanna hold her hand” marsh

OMG SHE GRABS HIS HAND AND THYE HOLD HANDS GFJGDFJKNDFGJKFJKDFVJNK. STOPP IT RN

AAAAA THEY ARE JUST <3333333333333

And… stan vomits, per usual lol

They still hold hands stop it

Wendy: i think I’ve seen this film before but instead she loves the ending <3

God y’all i just love stendy so much

Kyle & Stan friendship secured so sweet

Literally wtf i will never understand the talking piece of shit sorry Kyle

Wendy apologizing to stan abt taking him to the films when I KNOW DEEP DOWN MY SON WAS THRIVING BEING ALONE WITH WENDY

He forgives her wbk wbk

Ain’t no back talk on my ship u fools

THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS AGAIN FDGJKNFDKJNFDGKJFDG pls tell me they’re dating again i need them

Oh my god stendy saved this episode thank you

EPISODE 10:

SO WE STARTING THIS with stan’s mom and sister at the hospital oh i know this gonna b weird

NO NOT CHICKEN POX

Omg stan ur gonna get THE POX FEJNCCKEN

Stan and Kyle’s families are so close !!

Oh and liane <3

DON’T DRAG KENNY YOU DINGOS

“IN THE GHETTOOOOOO” omg the TikTok meme is here SLAY i loved this one haha

EGGO WAFFLES FOR DIN ??? ME TOO BABE

Cartman SHUT UR MOUTH

Oh god Kenny’s family is so chaotic i hate it they deserved better

Kyle and stan have matching sleeping bags AWWWWW

Kenny can’t afford normal dinner food but can clap the lights off???? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

OFC THEY ALL GET THE POX

GODS AND CLODS ??? LMAO

lol not Sheila making Kyle get the pox bc he’s the golden child that won’t get sick

OMG KYLE IS THE ONLT HEALTHY PERSON LEFT

So i remembered that stan hates hospitals and i can’t imagine what’s going thru his head right now besides being pissed abt hw

THEY JUST STORM INTO HIS BATHROOM WHILE HES NAKEY

KYLE’S PAPER HAHA

I’m actually cackling AT THIS SEQUENCE VNVNKJSDNKJV

NOOOOO NOT KYLE

EPISODE 11:

Garrison RELAX

Cartman is perfect for the cheesy poofs comm

Creepy girl….

Omg this poor deranged kiddo :(

FOOTLOOSE a BOP

KYLE ATE THAT HAIKU

ALSO KENNY !!!! SLAY

Kyle is eating these haikus ugh as he should

HYPNOSIS.

Eric kinda popped off

Mackey OMG U DID NOT

My throat hurts >:(

Haha CHEESY POOF

Eric’s one second of fame— relatable

The one time Eric slayed werk

EPISODE 12:

Okay ngl, if this is the episode i think it is, imma pass away

I’ve seen clips on TikTok ok

Omg THE KIDS PLAYING MILITARY OMG CDSNJDIJ

Kenny PLS JNCJDNJKNS

WENDY AND BEBE

“Kyle, doesn’t bebe look pretty today?” Omg it’s KYBE TIME

It’s the way i stan stendy, style, kybe, bendy and stendyle all at once I AM WINNINGGGG

Stendy walks away from Kyle and bebe omg omg

KYLE PUTS HIS ARMS AROUND HIS BACK U KNOW BEBE A STUNNER SHE’S A DAME

Wendy the nations’ KYBE leader, stan the second in command

Stan: no

TRUTH OR DARE LOL

BEBE.

All bebe sees is cake. That’s it. Kyle’s cake. Living, breathing legend.

Wendy setting them up AW

Stan: WE NEED TO MAKE A CLUB HOUSE STAT

Kyle: ?!?!?!?!?

Rare Cartman & Kenny duo things

SHARON MOTHER RELAX

OMG BEBE PASSING A NOTE FDSKBFSDKJGB

DSKJBDSGKJBSGBDKSDK STYLE CONTENT LMAOOOO

But AYO bebe really likes Kyle’s booTAY

The PARENTS ARE FIGHTINNN

Bebe: AYO Kyle LET’S SEE THAT ASSSSS

Kyle: aight?

“I WANNA BE DARED TO KISS HER” STAN OMG DSJNFDSJBGSKD i love stendy crumbs YES

What THE FUCK NOT SHARON & RANDY DIVORCING FSBJKSGDJKGDSDKBJ NO

WHO THE FUCK IS ROY

Get the FUCK OUTTA HERE BRO

Stan was too stunned to speak

Wtf is HAPPENING ?!?!?! Poor Stanley

Stan preaching to the CHOIR

TRUTH OR DARE

The boys are SHAKING

Wendy slayed okay Kyle PUCKER UP

I HC WHEN THEY OLDER THAT BEBE IS A GOOD KISSER and tbh so is Kyle but the first few times Kyle is all tongue and no lip— nasty bro

Kyle will never take a chance to let cartman win that’s just fact

AAAA KYBE

Kyle: AAA

Omg dude it’s ur first kiss relax

“Fucking sickening” but make it with the rupaul YASSIFICATION

Stan: looks intensely at Wendy’s lips

OLDER!HC: stan is like. addicted to Wendy’s lips. All he wants to do is show his affection ALL THE TIME but is also shy abt it??? LMAO

Stan: Dare RIZZ

ROY FUCK OFF

GOD DAMMIT ROY U FUCKED IT UP

Omg kybe okay please let this be good

BEBE GIRL Y’ALL WEREN’T EVEN DATING

LMAOOONSDFNSD

Kyle is flabbergasted

OFC she hooks up with Clyde right after BRUH

But i also like Clybe so it’s okay

Omg STAN NOT THE BEAR TRAP DON’T GET HIM IN THE BEAR TRAP

Alas, OFC Sharon and randy stay strong go get ur dick girl

“CLUBHOUSES ARE MAGICAL” —stan marsh, as his parents are fucking in the clubhouse he built

EXCUSE ME BEBE WHAT THE FUCK

I hope he didn’t do it omg

EPISODE 13:

What the hell

Kyle beating cartman is my favourite

“THESE ARE MY FUCKING FOOD STAMPS, HOW AM I GONNA EAT WITHOUT THESE FOOD STAMPS?” — KENNY MCCORMICK

Kyle threatening Cartman so true bestie

Oh god this is gonna fucking suck

Cartman being flung OUCH

WHEN CARTMAN HITS THE SNOW AAA

excuse me? not the prostitute

this is bad broken vietnamese UGH

CARTMAN.

kenny robbed

stan and kyle playing with the dolls is so wholesome <3

EPISODE 14:

why didn't I know kyle's dad was a lawyer? interesting

little german dance

WAIT STENDY IS DATING AGAIN DFSJBGSBJKGSDKBJ

"hey, elton, if I give you these lyrics, will you write a song for my GIRLFRIEND wendy?"

DEAD

he wants to gift her a song NO ONE SPEAK TO ME

not me actually tearing up irl THIS IS EMBARASSING

but no fr stan is WHIPPED I love that for him

chef hoeing out with kyle's mom??? huh

NOT MISS CRAB TREE. chef rly do be desperate

Mr mackey crowd surfing ended me LMAOO

elton SINGING THE SONG STAN WANTED HIM TO WRITE FOR WENDY :')

WENDY LOOKING AT STAN ugh the fluff they exude

CHEWBACCA

EPISODE 15:

UGH THIS BORDER MAKES ME WANNA FIGHT A BITCH

uhm... this is sus cartman

oh this is a Halloween ep cool

oh WAIT I'VE SEEN THIS ONE ON TIKTOK TOO

creepy murder fish

"hella"

god my paranoia could NEVER

POOR KENNY HIS ROOF IS LEAKY :(

JESUS christ that goldfish scares me

NOT KILL

not the slap from shelly oml HAHA

stan- OMG NOT THE DEAD PERSON

"mommy's little angel" correct, my son is babie

not the SQUASH DFSKJBDSKBDSKB

cartman on some shit rn omg

WHAT THE FUCK TWO CARTMANS

cartman using aunt flo as a massage chair cackles a lil

sharon not giving a single fuck about randy's accusations

oh no not stan and kyle's alts

EPISODE 16:

stan gets told not to go: goes anyway

kenny riding shotgun and not giving a RAT'S ASS until money is thrown

god i'd die if I had to listen to singing for 6 hours

liane is just. so cool ok

kyle: AAAA

EYE- stan that's not cool bad noodle

EW I FEEL BACK FOR KYLE

kenny hoarding food HA

charles: how would u like to come with me to another secluded part of the mall?

kenny: ok

don't mess w kyle brofloski period

kyle: still mad abt mr.hankey

they all getting shot at but kyle has PRIORITIES

SHARON LMFNNKSDFB GET HIM

stan: sorry

HAHAHAH

EPISODE 17:

TWEEEKKKKKK OMG HIS FIRST APPEARANCE AND LINES <3

my deranged son <3 ily tweek

omg tweek's family runs a coffee shop <3 so cute

tweek he's so cute with his little gnome story

oh shit 8 year olds w coffee

THIS IS GONNA BE PSYCHO

OH GOD LMAOOO

Cartman sleeping in his puke yikes

oh he has ADD :'( little bean

Cartman slayed this time haha

Working w the underwear gnomes haha

Side not: my cats are finally sleeping on the same bed and not killing each other <3

OMG Y’ALL HAHAHAHA

EPISODE 18: (SEASON FINALE)

Is this an impersonation of Owen Wilson ??? LMAO

KyLE Y’ALL ARE 8 NO

The WAY STAN CIRCLES DOWN INTO THE CAVE DSJNFJKSDNG HE’S SO CUTE

And there’s the vomit

I’m starting to wonder if Stan has bad motion sickness or he just has a shit immune system

Cartman referencing my favourite movie of all time??? That was iconic of him. grease is MY FAVOURITE MOVIE <333333333

Style fighting >:(

Cartman so true abt style fighting

1999 ??? My birth year??? Epic

“ASSMASTER”

NO OH MY GOD STYLE Y’ALL ARE IN YOUR DIVORCE ERA

Nah bc they are such good friends they better get back together at the end of the episode

When Kyle doesn’t finish Stan’s line abt Kenny… u KNOW THEY FIGHTINGG

THE girlies ARE FIGHTING THEY IN THEIR WWE ARC

Larry u tell ‘em

Overall, season 2 better than season 1, 8/10

[star2sworld]

yalllll. I didn’t have time to write in the morning but here is the update on how my day is going so far.

So, I don’t think I got any sleep tonight. I was up basically every hour and surprisingly I didn’t feel tired but still tried to go back to bed. I think I daydreamed the night away I swear. Bc I don’t feel like I slept at all.

Anyways, when I got on the bus I started to search up how to write an essay and stuff. I went straight to the library and waited there. Tell me why N comes up like god I was so annoyed. I lowkey panicked at first but I don’t care he’s so annoying to look at I’m just glad he’s out of my sight fr. I don’t think he even did his work so idk why he was there for so damn long.

But yeah. I think I did ok. I didn’t complete the last two opened end tho. And I kinda just gave up on the last section all together lol. The stories were just so boring to read.

I feel so damn tired. I haven’t spoke all day and it feels so weird. Like a part of myself is locked away omg. I just want to talk to someone cuz i feel like im suffocating. Anyways, after im done with my physics Ed puzzle im taking my ass to bed. The breakfast and lunch was so shit today I’m so hungry rn. Next period I have to review the part 4 quiz so I can take it during English. Then I’m basically done. I have to practice more in guitar tho bc I have a C right now it’s bad lol

I also have a math quiz tomorrow and I am notttr ready for it fr. I’m gonna print it out at home tho instead of asking him. If he allows me, I will just take the test on Friday or something

Anyways good bye too tied to write anything else

[berryunho]

honestly the best lore is when u make it random ass lore bits bc it gives joong vibes like... ur aware of all of it but everyone else struggles: torture LMAO

no bc i'd say the ult situation is relatable... but it's not... for me at least... i've always been kinda picky but also kinda instant?? LMAO IDKGJHFDSHJFDS i just. get to know the group ig and then there's usually one or two?? that i kinda gravitate towards and once i rly get to know the group i'm like oh. yeah it made sense. yeah ur mine now. DSJHSJHDSJ LIKE? (past bc i rly. only stan ateez. idk. idk how. don't ask) when i stanned bts i kinda knew them already but jungkook like stood out, n once i got to know them 'well' i was like yes this is it. also shinee's taemin, yes. but then we ARE quite similar bc i don't have many ults either! i've only ever ulted jungkook (less now), taemin (military pls give him back), wooyoung (this was difficult i rly did not want to give in) and now san too.. idk how it happened ajeshgjhdg

THERE IS SOMETHING I WANT TO KNOW HONESTLY AND IT IS ABOUT! COLLECTING bc u mentioned u bought a lot of merch during tour!!! so i'm assuming.. u collect yunho photocards too.. hehe.. do u.. i kinda want to start collecting woosan?? but at the same time i'm like, do i wanna go through that stress? not really.. but also i can just be a casual collector and make a wishlist n collect my wl woosan? (+joong?)?? BUT ALSO i have expensive taste so like. idk.

AND SO EXCITINGGG korea so soon and i'm SORRY i literally haven't started on that ppt but i promise u once i get my shit together i will bc i still really like the idea LMAO JUST DONT! K WORD SAN OFF BEFORE I GET THE PPT DONE PLS AND I PROMISE IM NOT STALLING JUST SO U LIKE. LE THIM LIVE. BUT IVE SEEN THAT OTHER ANON. AND NO. WE DO NOT WANT HONGJOONG TO KNOW. IT NEVER HAPPENED OK? OK? IT NEVERRRRRR HAPPENED. yk what. maybe joong would want to join. he's a cult freak for a reason. BYE ANYWA YHE CANT KNW BYEEEE

-san anon ily mwah

good morning (not for u probably yikes timezones) it is i san anon and i have not a lot to say BUT!!! I WOKE UP LIKE 30 MINUTES AGO AND THE FIRST THING I SAW WHEN I OPENED MY PHONE WAS THIS WHAT THE FUUUUCK AAAA idk if i’m barking or crying or both at this point HE’S SO! SO! SO CUUUUTE so baby i miss him ew

HIIII !!!!

PLESAJKLSEJKSJ youre so right like sometimes i forget that im the one writing and like ... what i say goes ... i have Power Over the Narrative ... crazy KJLKFJSDKFJ

but yeah lol i get it there are many ways that people come to bias their biases and i feel like your way makes a lot more sense LKJAFLKDJS but oh em gee i would also say that ateez is really the only group i stan ... like i have quite a few groups i listen to or groups where i know the members but like ...... idk i just do nawt care about any other groups like i care about ateez ALKJDFLKSJDF but no fr bring taemin back

AND COLLECTING !!! YES I DO !!!! i collect all of yunho's kr album pcs and then just fansign benefits/pobs that i really like hehe i only started in ??? january 2022 ??? so i dont have a complete collection yet lol but im not too .... stressed about it i guess ?? i definitely think that being casual about it is the way to go lol otherwise its just a lot of work and doesnt seem like it would be fun !

litcherally .... korea NOW ... sitting in my dorm in seoul as i type this im FIGHTINGGGG jetlag like i want to sleep so bad but its only 6:30pm KLJA;DLKFJSDLKFJ but omg so far everything has been so good and its just like ..... SURREAL LIKE WHAT . IM IN KOREA . HUH . but KJAFJSDLFKJ DW ABOUT THE PPT ! PLEASKEJALFKS lowkey i have hella writers block rn and havent been writing so .... as long as that keeps up he's DEFINITELY safe LKJDKLFJASD BUT ALKJDFKAJDF HONGJOOJGAJKNAGN yeah . anyways .

when you sent that second ask i actually WAS awake i think it was like 4am ??? and i had just gotten through airport security to start my journey to kr and anyways ! it was a good morning thank you and KALJDFSAKSDFJS GOD SO VALIDAJKSDLFJ PLEASE OBSESSED W THE EW AT THE END BC I FEEL THAT ALWAYSSSS WHEN I CATCH MYSELF SMILING TOO HARD OVER KPOP BOYSKLFJLS but anyways its valid to miss them im litcherally counting down the mf days until theyre in kr and have a schedule i need to lay my eyes upon them immediately .

ANYWAYS I HOPE YOURE GOOD !!!!! <333333 AND ARE HAVING A NICE WEEKEND <3333 ILYYY MWAH

[chokchokk]

a big thank you to choy (@chokchokk) for entertaining my thoughts for the past few days!!

YOURE SOSOSOSO WELCOME NORA BABES it was my honour, pleasure (double emphasis on the pleasure), and i enjoyed all of the entertaining very very much <33

hope this has not been our last brainstorming!!! LMAO because THIS brain is may have headaches but one of the many reasons is because there’s always a miniature san dancing in it.

ANYWAY YEAH HERE WE GO MY HEAD’S BARELY CLEAR BUT I CAN DO THIS

mean!reader, she's a badass though

she’s a girlboss boss and seeing that san is switch is gonna make me boil my pill away probably (idk how medicine works)

fishing out a stack of bills to lay gently in front of the homeless man’s sleeping bag

a girlboss with a kind heart we love to see it fr!!!

his yellow grin a stark contrast to his surroundings—fetid air driving everyone in the area to hold their breath, disease-ridden rodents and pretentious high school dropouts with one too many stacks of their daddy’s money crawling around in the vicinity.

GOD that description I LIVE and LOVE, holy fuck that was beautifully rotten

loyal customers—mostly rich men lying to their wives

i chortled a bit because for some reason i had to think about your jeonghan fic even though it is BARELY connected

the wretched bastard leaving his only daughter to run this shithole.

nepotism baby who HATES daddy? I LIVE SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. reader is so real this is so much fun omg

His thighs wrapped around the pole, the muscles bulging as he held himself up and rolled his body around the metal rod, a dainty belly chain loose around his narrow waist, head rolled backwards to stretch out the column of his freckled throat.

OHHHHGOD MY HEAD

THE HEADACHE IS LONG GONE

THE IMAGINATIONS THO. THEY ARE THERE. NEVER WENT AWAY.

younger, broke college students who couldn’t afford a fancier club

omg NORA you added MEEEE????<33 WOWWWW IM SO HONOURED TO BE PART OF THE STORY<333

(fr tho)

the cocky curl of his lips irked you,

reader is stronger than me because THAT cocky curl does not irk me it attacks me and want to throw myself on my knees ok bye

“And tight, ‘tried him out myself,” you could hear the smirk in his voice,

this will live in my head now. oh my fucking god

proud of his take on a job interview.

I CANT I CANT I CANT IM GONNA BE SO DISTRACTED BY THE IDEA OF SANNIE BEING AT THAT INTERVIEW NOWNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

His hips swayed with more finesse—still not up to your standards—and his expression contorted to mimic a state of ecstasy. He was trying to impress you.

reader is FR stronger than me because i would have folded, thrown my money, ripped of my clothes right here and there. ohhhhgfucjjfjhj

People who knew you made the rules.

y- yeah

g-, g,;girlboss

You reached down to grab his face, fingers digging into his jaw and angling it further upwards, “you’re too stiff.”

GGGHRRBHRHIRLBOSSFUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKYEAH

His cheeks heated up under your touch, the pretty pink bleeding down his neck and chest as your aired out his nightly endeavors.

im sweating so hard right now my day has only started maybe i should just leave the country i cant be a normal citizen after having read this no

“I’ll be good, I promise.”

THE GRUNT I LET OUT STILL ACHES IN MY LUNGS

you suddenly had your own personal, human-sized cat, brimming with affection it didn’t know how to express.

UUUUU U U U G H H HHHHHGHHHHHHH HHHHHGHHFUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK

how quickly San’s cocky persona vanished once he got his dick wet,

doublefaced!san agenda bringing me happiness with each and every single new word, how beautiful

*eye twitching*

through his relentless thrusts, his previous rhythm lost in his overflowing lust.

WE LOVE A GOOD RHYME

POETRY TO MY EARS (and mind)

some sticking to the sweat beaded on San’s back

THE IMAGES YOU ARE PLANTING INTO MY HEAAAAADDDDDDDDDD NOOOOOOOOOO

San interrupted your complaints, “tell me you want it.”

again

again again again

“-and I’m the one fucking you stupid,” he retorted, that vexing smirk on his face once again, and you wanted to punch it away.

ACTZUALLY READER IS SO REAL MAYBE I AM READER AFTER ALL.

“C’mon, just say you want it. I’ll give you whatever you want, Miss.” He lowered his voice down to a whisper, “all of it, just for you.”

NO STOP STOPSOHJHHHFJDUUZ HHHHHFFFFFFWWWWHHW YOU CANT DO THAT NORA.

but his words sent a wave of cold sweat seeping out of your pores, “No, no. Say it louder for me, darling.”

HANDS PRESSED ON MY MOUTH BECAUSE IF I DIDNT I WOULD QUAKE MY APARTMENT WITH MY SCREAM

(i still screamed.)

you realised just how much Choi San enjoyed performing for a crowd.

choi san people pleaser agenda continuing he is suchawhoreicantdealwiththiamylegsarecrossediCANfdothis

And just how much you could profit off that.

i need i think

like a good punch in the face.

the money on his body…….. the. the nipple piercing. th; the cum…… oh…. so much cum…….

i’ll be on my humble little way now……..

move

navi

pairing: pole dancer!choi san x club owner!reader (fem)

w.c.: 3.3k

tags: smut, ft. pimp!woo

song rec: 'move' by taemin

with his toned thighs wrapped around the pole, sweat glistening under the changing lights, you felt the urge to wipe the cocky smirk off the new hire's lips. but little did you know, choi san loved performing for a crowd.

A/N: this is for my lovely, pretty, gorgeous, insanely kind, amazing, genius, and beautiful alyssa (@kitten4sannie) <3 I'm sorry this took over a month to get to ;; I really hope the wait was worth it though!! + a big thank you to choy (@chokchokk) for entertaining my thoughts for the past few days!! happy reading~ ^^

nsfw & warnings under the cut—minors dni!! 🔞

warnings: this —in white— is san's outfit for reference (except tighter, cheaper-looking and with a different chain), mentioned mxm, reader has one drink but everything is consensual, switch!san (shorty give me whip-whiplash), mean!reader, she's a badass though, public sex, unprotected sex (👎), san has a nipple piercing, some nipple play (m), multiple orgasms (m), multiple creampies, some edging, overstimulation, a hint of breeding/impreg kink, voyeurism/exhibitionism, degradation, so much dirty talk, nicknames (sannie, pretty boy; miss, darling), I think that's all (?)

Scrunching your nose at the rancid odour of sewage, your heeled boots clacked against the pavement leading to the guarded club entrance, digging into your coat pocket and fishing out a stack of bills to lay gently in front of the homeless man’s sleeping bag. You passed by him every night, his yellow grin a stark contrast to his surroundings—fetid air driving everyone in the area to hold their breath, disease-ridden rodents and pretentious high school dropouts with one too many stacks of their daddy’s money crawling around in the vicinity.

You walked past the burly guard at the front, watching his ninety-degree bow from the corner of your eye as you stepped into the club. It wasn’t the best area to run such business, but you got enough loyal customers—mostly rich men lying to their wives—to pay the bills. You supposed you should be thankful to your father for that, the wretched bastard leaving his only daughter to run this shithole.

You walked down the short hallway and into wide room, blues and purples illuminating the shiny tile and peeling walls as you carried yourself to the bar near the entrance. The rusted stool creaked as you rested your body weight down on it, ignoring the young bartender as she scrambled to make your usual drink, drops of expensive liquor flying over the bench before she dropped a decorated glass in front of you. Giving her a tight-lipped smile, you wrapped your fingers around the cup and allowed the bitterness to sink into your taste buds.

Sitting sideways at the bar, forearm flat on the surface with the drink loosely held in your hand, you focused your eyes on the man to your left, moving his body around the pole anchored in the middle of the room. Cheap, glittery fabric pressed into the skin of his toned chest, stretching around his biceps until a peak of his warm skin tone shone through the white. His thighs wrapped around the pole, the muscles bulging as he held himself up and rolled his body around the metal rod, a dainty belly chain loose around his narrow waist, head rolled backwards to stretch out the column of his freckled throat. You could tell he was trying to show off his rounded backside, but his movements carried a certain stiffness that made you scoff. The customers spread out on the seats surrounding the stage—a mix of older, unhappily married men, and younger, broke college students who couldn’t afford a fancier club—didn’t seem to mind as much, taking in his lousy attempt of an arch and the prominent bulge pressing against the thin material of his shimmering bottoms, ogling eyes zeroing in on the metal bar piercing his nipple as it occasionally brushed against the pole.

He lowered himself down onto the LED flooring on his tiptoes, maintaining the graceful stance as the song came to an end, feline eyes flitting upwards to bore into yours. He oozed confidence, the air around him almost unbreachable, and for a reason you couldn’t place your finger on, the cocky curl of his lips irked you, your eyebrow twitching in irritation at the shameless show of brashness.

Veiny arms circled your shoulders, a familiar rasp in your ear, “that’s the new hire I was telling you about. Pretty neat, don’t you think?” His dark brown locks tickled your temple, curved nose nuzzling into your hair.

You hummed in agreement, “Mm, good job, Woo. He’s pretty.”

“And tight, ‘tried him out myself,” you could hear the smirk in his voice, proud of his take on a job interview.

You reached back to smack his shoulder, a faint smile on your lips. “He’s a little too confident for someone who can’t even arch properly, though,” you critiqued, narrowing your eyes at the man now bent over in front of the small crowd, thick fingers wrapped around the pole while he attempted to move his stiff muscles.

“He’s not that bad,” Wooyoung rolled his eyes, tracing over the man’s plump ass with his eyes as he played back the events from the previous night in his mind, the throaty moans and whimpers still fresh in his ears.

“Even you can do a better job than him, and that’s saying a lot.”

Two fingers pinched your upper arm through the blazer covering it, Wooyoung’s unamused huff blowing over the shell of your ear. “If you’re so displeased by his performance, why don’t you teach him how to do it yourself?” He pushed back the image of the man’s narrow waist and puckered hole, replacing it with the memory of the private show you’d put on for him the week before.

While Wooyoung was too busy fighting off the sudden tightness in his pants, you contemplated his words—despite knowing he’d spoken them humorously. Tightening your hand around your drink, you brought it up to your lips and gulped down the rest of it, pushing Wooyoung off you and standing up. He scrambled to find his footing, caught off guard by your brassy stride towards the center of the room, aiming towards the occupied chair right across the stage.

With a hand on the college freshman’s shoulder, you pulled him off the worn-down leather, sitting down in his place and watching him scurry away with a hand halfway down his pants. Redirecting your attention towards the handsome man in front of you, his gaze instantly locked with yours, and something in his eyes gave away that he knew who you were. His hips swayed with more finesse—still not up to your standards—and his expression contorted to mimic a state of ecstasy. He was trying to impress you.

You watched for a few seconds, until he bent down lower, the pathetic arch of his spine pushing the words off your tongue, “Choi San, was it?” your voice cut through the music. “It seems like Wooyoung may have spoken too highly of you. I’m a little disappointed,” you took pleasure in the slow erasure of his cocky smirk, his movements faltering as he took in your words, hints of discontent evident in your tone. “Stand up straight, pretty boy.” You leaned forward in your seat, resting your elbows over your thighs as you watched him hesitantly part from the pole to straighten up.  A smirk—a sign of power, perhaps—found its way onto your lips, “why don’t you grind on that pole for me? Since you seem so confident in yourself.”

Red tinted the shell of his ears, and you wondered how a few words could have affected a man like him so easily, as though he wasn’t standing in a room full of people ogling at his body, two pieces of glimmering fabric hiding him from their deviant gaze.

You could almost see the thoughts churning in his pretty head, dubiously reaching for the pole once again, standing behind it and beginning his decent into a full squat. Firm muscle bulged out of his thighs, oiled, tan skin reflecting the moving lights shining over his figure, his clothed bulge trapped between the metal and his abdomen. His hands remained above his head as he sunk lower, the cropped material of his shirt riding up to reveal more of his flushed chest. You watched him wordlessly, eying the deliberate brush of his nipple piercing over the pole, a muted ‘clink’ drowned under the music. Your eyes moved back to his face, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth and his eyebrows drawn in, and when you trailed down his body, your lips only curled further: his half-hard length pressing against the scratchy fabric, a wet patch spreading through the material and shimmering alongside the glitter. You may be starting to understand Wooyoung’s strange infatuation with the man.

You pushed off the creaky leather, smoothing down your suit before taking a few steps onto the round LED flooring, standing next to the crouched man and watching him twist his head to look up at you.

It was known rule everywhere that the dancers were not to be touched, and you figured your next move would probably be setting a bad example in front of your customers, but your clientele consisted mostly of regulars, people who knew you to be the boss. People who knew you made the rules.

You reached down to grab his face, fingers digging into his jaw and angling it further upwards, “you’re too stiff.” Your lips curved at his attempt at pushing away, nose scrunched up in defiance.

“’m not stiff,” he retorted weakly, words muffled through the tight squeeze of your fingers around his face.

“What’s the matter, Sannie, did Youngie fuck you too hard last night? Can’t even arch your back properly?” You gave his head a firm shake with every rhetorical question, pouting your lips in faux sympathy. His cheeks heated up under your touch, the pretty pink bleeding down his neck and chest as your aired out his nightly endeavors.

“I can arch my back-”

“My club is gonna run out of business if you keep running your mouth instead of doing your job properly, pretty boy. My old man would be rolling in his grave if that ever happens. We don’t want that now, do we?” You watched panic seep into his features when you spoke your next words, “how will you pay off your debt then, hm?”

“I-I’ll learn how to do it, please just-” his fingers release around the pole and wrap around your calves instead, his knees falling to the floor by your feet while he pleaded. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

His touch wasn’t unpleasant, rough fingertips brushing over your clothed skin, squeezing gently while he squirmed under you. Your fingers eased around his jaw but didn’t let go, pleased to have a man of his stature in the palm of your hand, yours to maneuver and handle however you wished. “And what will you do until then? Learning takes time, and we’re short-staffed, you know.”

A dangerous glimmer lit up San’s dark eyes, a sense of danger churning in your gut. Skilled hands slid up your legs, past your knees and thighs to settle on the curve of your hips, nuzzling his face into your palm before speaking. For a reason you couldn’t exactly pinpoint, you allowed him to do as he pleased, as though you suddenly had your own personal, human-sized cat, brimming with affection it didn’t know how to express. Siren eyes blinked up at you, a smile loaded with playfulness and mischief directed at you.

“I’ll just make sure to put on a performance they’ll never forget.”

--

Antsy hands pushed open your unbuttoned blouse to slide over the heated skin, your dress pants tossed and abandoned over the chair you’d been sitting in, lace panties dangling off the angle resting on San’s shoulder. His glitzy top scratched against your skin, forming a blister you were too busy to care about as San’s body pressed against yours with his belly chain forming indents into your navel, his cock pounding into you to the steady beat of the music blasting through the decrepit speakers, a distant whirring disrupting the audio.

You slapped his hand off your chest, a warning look in your eyes and a pathetically despondent one in his, reaching for your hand and guiding it to his own chest, a silent ‘touch me instead.’ It was fascinating how quickly San’s cocky persona vanished once he got his dick wet, his face contorting—eyebrows furrowed and his eyes lidded—while you pulled on his piercing, rolling his nipple under your thumb and reveling in the tight moans rolling off his tongue.

“Fuck, ‘m close,” he mumbled, readjusting on his knees, the tight material of his bottoms low on his thighs restricting the movement.

“Already?” you teased, sucking in a sudden breath at the new angle, his cock curving into your g-spot through his relentless thrusts, his previous rhythm lost in his overflowing lust. “What a waste of a pretty cock, can’t even last long enough to make me cum.”

You noted the rose bleeding into his ears once again, his hips stuttering and a throaty moan leaving his lips as he emptied inside you, his hot seed spreading warmth through your lower belly. You laughed as he lowered himself onto you, hovering over your torso while he rolled his hips into your cunt, riding out his orgasm with airy moans and tightly-shut eyes. Paper bills fluttered in the air, some sticking to the sweat beaded on San’s back while the majority landed around your tangled bodies.

You were about to get up, words of beration forming on your tongue, but San took a few breaths and drove his cock further into you, grinding his length between your dripping walls until it chubbed up once again. It caught you off guard, his eagerness to perform, to prove himself to you, to fuck you dumb in front of all your customers.

The slow pace he adopted wasn’t enough, but the deliberate drag of his cock over your g-spot nearly sent you spiraling, the leg perched up on his shoulder shaking with every thrust. “Ngh, do you like being watched, pretty boy?”

San’s bashfulness was nowhere to be found, replaced with a pleased smile and a quick nod to his head, “Mm, I do,” his fingers kneaded the flesh of your thigh, his other hand pushing down your right leg to further open you up for him, driving his cock into you twice before leaning down to whisper in your ear, “what about you, Miss? You’re the same, aren’t you? I can feel your cunt squeezing around me every time you look at the perverts watching us.”

Your limbs felt heavy, something in your stomach convulsing at his words. “Watch your mouth-”

Calloused fingers slipped under you to tangle in the hair at your nape, tugging sharply until your neck craned at the force, your next words dying on your tongue as he began pistoning his cock into your needy cunt, a broken cry ripping through your chest as his cockhead pressed into your sweet spot repeatedly.

“You want them to watch how I’m gonna fuck you full? I’ll give you all I have, Miss, every last drop, until you’re all swollen with my cum,” he rambled, soft lips pressed against your temple while he hammered into you, sending you barreling towards the edge.

A tingle spread through your limbs, the edges of your vision darkening, and you prepared to freefall into a numbing orgasm, but San’s hips suddenly slowed to a languid grind, his lips stretching menacingly against your skin.

“No- fuck, I was so close-”

San interrupted your complaints, “tell me you want it.”

Your eyebrow twitched in annoyance. It was as though he was holding your orgasm for ransom. “Don’t be a fucking asshole, I’m still your boss-”

“-and I’m the one fucking you stupid,” he retorted, that vexing smirk on his face once again, and you wanted to punch it away. You’d assume abusing an employee would bring bad rep to your club, though, and you couldn’t afford to lose any customers. So you settled on glaring at him, attempting to roll your hips but huffing when San’s hands anchored you down to the floor.

“C’mon, just say you want it. I’ll give you whatever you want, Miss.” He lowered his voice down to a whisper, “all of it, just for you.”

The deep baritone of his voice, the words flowing smoothly off his tongue, warm hands splayed over your hips, occasionally squeezing at the flesh at the end of every sentence, his musky perfume mixed in with the tangy scent of his sweat engulfing your senses. Your walls pulsed around his cock, sitting  thick and heavy inside you while you squirmed under him, the skin of your cheeks heated under his gaze as he awaited the words he wanted to hear. After a few minutes of his relentless stare-down, cat-like eyes boring into yours with incessant demand, you gave in, muttering the words under your breath and breaking eye contact.

Just when you thought you could breathe again, his deep chuckle echoed in your ear, the pleasant sound preferable over the music playing in the background, but his words sent a wave of cold sweat seeping out of your pores, “No, no. Say it louder for me, darling.”

You huffed in exasperation, the smell of alcohol swimming in the air between you. Shutting your eyes to relieve yourself of the sight of San's sharp jawline and arched eyebrow, you missed the way his gaze flitted upwards to meet with Wooyoung’s—the man now sat in the chair to the left of the stage, palming at the obvious tent in his pants.

San gave a harsh thrust to egg you on, the shot of pleasure shooting up your spine at the gesture enough to push the words off your tongue, “just fucking give me your cum already, ‘want it all inside,” you slurred, voice breathy with hints of desperation.

San didn’t waste any time before picking up his pace, pounding into your heat with urgent want, as though he was a starved man at a banquet. It was as though he’d lit your nerves on fire, the pleasure so intense your mind went numb, nails digging into San’s biceps as he pulled moan after moan out of you. “Hnnngh! L-like that, yeah-”

There was no build-up to your orgasm, and you found yourself tumbling down a steep cliff into a valley of ecstasy, lips forming an ‘o’ while San guided you through it. With your back arched off the ground, your blouse damp and stuck to your slick back, you clung to the fluid drag of San’s throbbing cock between your fluttering walls, the sound of skin-on-skin following the beat vibrating through the speakers.

San’s fingers dented your skin with enough force to promise blossoming bruises, his breath laboured as he began to chase his own high after you’d ridden out yours, fucking into you like a madman, “’m almost there, Miss, ‘gonna make sure you’re nice and full of me,” He groaned near your ear, the sound melting away the tinges of overstimulation jolting you away from him, his tight grip keeping you in place to buck his hips into your used hole. “So full you might get pregnant- ngh!”

Driven to completion by his own words, San’s throaty moans drowned out the melody strumming in the background, spurts of hot cum adding to the white painting your walls as he milked himself of every last drop. It seemed like you were the one who had fucked him stupid, barely-coherent, babbled praise flowing into your ear as he tucked his head into the crook of your neck.

Your knee dug into your chest, and you stared at the lace still hanging off your ankle where it sat on San’s shoulder, pins and needles pricking at your muscles from the prolonged position. But you didn’t complain, simply basking in the afterglow while San’s chest rose and fell into yours. You could see the flutter of paper bills in your peripherals—more than you’d ever seen before on a slow, Thursday night—barely any of them reaching you as the men tossing them had their dominant hands preoccupied. Your eyes moved sideways, meeting Wooyoung’s, already staring back at you with a knowing smirk on his pouty lips.

Through the thick haze of the orgasm still clouding your mind, your muscles twitching with its remnants as San’s cock spasmed pathetically between your flooded walls, two loads streaming out of your stretched cunt, you realised just how much Choi San enjoyed performing for a crowd.

And just how much you could profit off that.

reblogs/feedback are greatly appreciated!! ^^ apply for my tag list here (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[whyse7vn]

BTS BOYFRIEND TEXTS -

[ ot7 x reader ]

lmao what is this it’s 3 am and i’m tired enjoy ^ ^

SEOKJIN -

jin: you ate without me…

y/n: did do that

jin: you said you’d wait

y/n: lied

jin: you’re not even gonna try and lie and say you tried you wait or something?

y/n: no

jin: we’re over

y/n: damn that sucks

jin: you don’t even care 😓

y/n: i do

seokjin please please please take me back i love you so much please please !!

jin: i guess i’ll give you another chance 🙄

y/n: thanks so much jinjin love you 😍😍🥰🥰🥰‼️‼️‼️‼️💕💕💓💓💓

jin: ew stop

y/n: stop what bae 😓💓

jin: that

y/n: you’re so hard to please

jin: i deserve better than you

y/n: choke

jin: i’m plotting your murder

y/n: it’s giving jin !alpha !hybrid !mafia boss !hard dom (disturbing content) minors dni

jin: i wolf you

y/n: would turn you into a rug

NAMJOON -

namjoon: got a loaf of bread

y/n: smooth like butter

namjoon: also got broke that green bowl so i bought a new one

y/n: haters gonna hate and players gonna play

namjoon: the bowl is blue tho

hope that’s ok

y/n: pretty woman

namjoon: did you eat lunch ?

y/n: everybody say no

namjoon: you should go do that then

y/n: run run run

namjoon: i think there is soup in the fridge

go check

y/n: did you see my bag ?

namjoon: is it there ?

y/n: you’re so big for no reason

namjoon: what ?

y/n: i’m looking at that photo on the fridge

namjoon: the disney one ?

y/n: yeah and you’re standing behind me you a big bitch

namjoon: thanks ?

y/n: ur built like a brick

ur so hot

lord

come home pls

namjoon: i’m on my way love

y/n: DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN THAT INTERVIEWER TOLD YOO TO PLAY UR OWN RACE LMAOOOOO

namjoon: i do

y/n: he really got you like that

foul

i would of laughed if i was there

namjoon: i know

y/n: loud asf too

namjoon: i know babe

y/n: pls he really ate you up

lord i’m laughing now

namjoon: i figured

y/n: still love you tho 🤞🏽❤️

namjoon: love you too

was the soup in the fridge ?

y/n: no

namjoon: k i’ll order something when i get back ok ?

y/n: light it up like dynamite

YOONGI -

y/n: what if i had 1 hour to live and was going bald and my leg was broken and all my family was dying from cancer right now

yoongi: it’s 8am

y/n: what if

yoongi: it’s 8am

y/n: yoongi 🥺

yoongi: it is 8 am.

y/n: ok and i am gonna kms.

what now yoongi ? what now ??

yoongi: bye

y/n: what the frick bro

fuck you

you’re an opp fr

can’t trust anyone

not a soul not even your own bf

this is so sad

all they ever do is leave you in the dirt

this is what fame does to people

man this is so sad

all this money gets to them fr fr

i can’t believe it

you switched like a pussy lil bitch 💔🗣🙏🏽

agust d too famous for me 😓😓

omg am i the next rap monster but actually black ????

you should get them braids again bae 😍

could be twins

nvm i don’t like you forgot

suga flopped ��‼️

bts disband

skz outsold bts 🗣🗣🗣🗣

felix should replace suga 💯

agust d a flop 🙄

cyphers ain’t even that good

suga old asf

yoongi: i am trying

y/n: omg hey bae 😍😍❤️🥵🥰

yoongi: to sleep

y/n: without me 😩⁉️

yoongi: yes

y/n: omw to america rn btw like fr fr no joke /thisisnotajokeimbeingfr

yoongi: i know

y/n: i can tell you’re so excited ur so cute love you 💞

yoongi: yeah.

going to sleep now.

y/n: rest up bro ‼️‼️‼️

see you soon g 🥱🤞🏽

HOSEOK -

y/n: i had a dream you violently slammed me into a pile of bricks

you had me by the throat

hobi: my fault

y/n: my back is broken now

hobi: sorry

y/n: it’s ok i forgive you

hobi: thank you

y/n: just don’t do it again

hobi: i promise i won’t

y/n: don’t let me down

hobi: ok

y/n: we are in love

hobi: true

y/n: cool

hobi: went into a cake shop today

y/n: what did it smell like

hobi: roses

y/n: interesting

hobi: got a small cake with a strawberry on top

y/n: photo ?

hobi: i dropped it

y/n: oh

hobi: i took a picture of it on the floor tho do you want to see ?

y/n: please

TAEHYUNG -

tae: hiiii

y/n: saw a trumpet on the tv made me think about how shit you sound playing it

tae: fuck you i’ll be great one day

y/n: i take it back ur hot

tae: fanks

y/n: we can get matching trumpets

can we put like sequins on them or will that fuck up the sound or something?

tae: idk

y/n: you should

tae: can we drink tn?

y/n: we can make a lil marching band 🥺🥺🥺

tae: also can we not invite jin this time want it to just be us

y/n: we should learn how to play dynamite

tae: and we are gonna eat yesterday’s leftovers

y/n: but if i see your fucking feet out one time today marching band dreams will come to an end ok ?

tae: but idk if i’m really feeling leftovers yk???

y/n: make sure them dogs are LOCKED away

tae: yeah idk i’ll wait until it’s time to eat then i’ll decide

y/n: what ?

tae: huh?

why are you talking about my feet

y/n: they’re scary 😟

tae: i feel like we’re on the completely different pages rn

JUNGKOOK -

jk: what if i was spiderman ?

y/n: that would be hot

jk: yeah

y/n: why aren’t you spiderman?

jk: racism.

y/n: valid

jk: do you still think i’m hot even tho i’m not spiderman?

y/n: i guess

jk: thanks

y/n: yw

jk: sorry i’m not at my full potential

y/n: i forgive you

jk: ok

y/n: ok

jk: bought a rock today

y/n: a shiny one ?

jk: no

y/n: like just a normal one ?

jk: yeah

y/n: nice.

jk: ikr

y/n: how much was it?

jk: 4k

y/n: what

jk: 4,000

y/n: jungkook

jk: yeah

y/n: what the fuck

jk: the rock seller was very convincing

y/n: can you return it ?

jk: no

y/n: what does the rock do

jk: sit ?

y/n: oh

jk: i’m gonna draw a face on it

y/n: i think i’m gonna take your card for a bit

jk: oh

y/n: yeah

jk: did i do something wrong ?

JIMIN -

jimin: watched 10 fancams of myself today

y/n: watched 10 of v

jimin: go fuck him then ???

y/n: might do that

jimin: no don’t it was a joke /j /j /j /j

y/n: don’t joke like that got my hopes up for nothing 😔💔

jimin: you would never

y/n: try me

jimin: you make me sick

y/n: 🤞🏽🤞🏽

jimin: you make me hard

y/n: i would hope so

jimin: yeah

y/n: yeah

jimin: i’m in our room

y/n: ok

jimin: just thinking

y/n: nice to know your brain still does that

jimin: you ruined it

y/n: my bad bro 🙏🏽

jimin: bro ???

y/n: bestie ?

jimin: ur so annoying

y/n: i’ll try better myself for you jimin 😔

jimin: you cant

you’re too lost

y/n: find me jimin 🥺🥺

pls find me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

jimin: i’ll try

y/n: that’s so hot 🤤🥵❤️‼️💯

[eremiie]

gone for too long;

❥ in which you’ve been gone way too long for eren’s liking.

❥ 2.8k words | nsfw | modern au

❥ content: phone sex, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, i think that’s it

eren rolled over on his navy sheets. he was tired of switching back and forth between the same three apps, constantly checking for new notifications besides the ones from his group chat that kept blowing his phone up.

he missed his girlfriend. he missed your presence being next to him when he woke up and he missed cuddling into you on early mornings. the only company he had now was the dim light being let in through his sheer curtains.

he went to his camera roll and clicked on his photo album of you, scrolling through numerous times; like when the two of you had went to the movies together, he remembered the aftermath, the two of you getting riled up in a taxi and you forced him to tip the driver extra. he also remembered the plethora of dirty photos you'd send to him when he would ask, of course this wasn't a normal occurrence but definitely when the two of you were feeling it.

he contemplated calling your phone despite knowing you were away for a trip with some of your closest friends but he didn't want to bother you, yet his own issue was getting the best of him, the constant tossing and turning, the constant adjusting his sweats, and the constant aching pain he wanted to relieve so bad.

i mean, your contact was right there. he was scrolling through your messages a variety of text messages and share photos sent back and forth, the last time the two of you texted being the day you left for the trip and he wouldn't stop blowing your phone up with how much he missed you; the days after that he resorted to calling you instead.

maybe he should text you first?

okay, okay, he'll text you first, and if you're not busy then he'll call you; if you can't talk then he'll try to handle his own.

10:34pm

Baby you up?

yeah ofc, i’m on a trip

I miss you☹️

imyt bby, wyd?

No

Like i miss you

bye

eren chuckles at your response, a smile on his face forming at the response time of your texts.

10:37pm

Ok no fr, can we ft, wanna see your pretty face

u sure it’s just my pretty face you wanna see?

Nah

Now answer baby

eren couldn't help but smile to himself as he clicked your contact name, the facetime call ringing one, two, then three times before you picked up, your voice after so long sounding like a melody to his ears.

"hello?" your voice came through the line and from where you were sitting on the couch, pieck's legs sitting comfortably on your lap and the heads of sasha and historia whipping towards you, ymir not caring enough to look up from historia's phone.

"hey baby, how are you?" eren asked, his face not in the camera while his hand sliding left to right on his lower abdomen as he spoke to you.

your eyes flickered to your friends, a sly grin on historia's face at the sound of eren's low voice on the other end of the line.

you and your friends decided that it would be nice to go on a small trip, residing in an air bnb while you all traveled together. it was hard to convince eren to let you go, him saying that "he'll miss you," and "you'll be gone for too long", but when you told him you'd keep in contact with him everyday he reluctantly let you go, of course with a pout. you wouldn't be back for a couple more days as you had a couple more places to sightsee with the girls.

"i'm good, how are you?"

"i'm fine... i just miss you..." eren mumbled, adjusting himself in his position, bringing his hand up to his chest then back down to his stomach, feeling the ripples of his abs from under his palm.

sasha threw her head back and huffed a breath. "i wish connie call me like that!" she turned over to her stomach from on the couch and grabbed her phone, you, pieck and historia chuckling.

"i miss you too, i'll be back soon though."

"but baby soon is not soon enough, i want you here with me." he pouted, his hand smoothing down to his crotch while he stared at you, you looking down at the camera. "i want you beside me, 'm tired of going to sleep by myself."

you pressed the volume down on your phone a couple times. when pieck opened her eyes, her dark irises shifted towards you with a raise of her eyebrow. she could read your mind; her legs sliding off your lap more towards her body, and her eyes closing again. "go on." she smiled.

you shook your head after her trying to hide your mere embarrassment before getting up from the couch with a soft "eren!" to warn her that you were in front of your friends. "i'll be back guys..." you made your way towards the staircase of the rented house while eren continued to talk to you.

"what? i'm so serious babe. it's been so long, i just want to feel you against me." he whined. at some point his hand made its way into his sweatpants, him now palming himself over his black boxers. "where are you?"

you opened the door to the room you share with pieck and sasha, getting on your bed and turning over to face eren, half of his face finally in the camera. you could tell he hadn't woken up too long ago, almost all of his hair falling out of his ponytail, frizzy pieces framing his face and around his head like a halo, although it was kind of hard to see with how dark it was in his room. "well now i'm in the room i'm sleeping in... the owners had two rooms so i took one with pieck since she's pretty quiet, but since there isn't three rooms sasha sleeps here too, she didn't mind making a makeshift bed, plus the owners apologized. ymir forced us to all share a room anyways because she wanted the other room alone with historia."

"yeah? well it sounds like y'all are still having fun anyways since you haven't been calling me."

"eren, we just talked yesterday."

"yeah, because i called you. you didn't call me."

"same thing." you huffed, turning to your back and resting the bottom of the phone on your chest, an angle that made eren laugh. "what are you doing?" you asked him, while your eyes darted around the room to study it since you never really got a chance to, being out and about everyday you've been here.

"thinking about you."

you felt your cheeks heat up, and held back your smile, rolling your eyes instead. "hm, i told you i'm co—"

"thinking about how i want you next to me, so i can feel you against me."

"eren, stop," you moved your face out the camera, of course the butterflies in your stomach decided to start flapping around.

"i'm not kidding baby, i was just going through my photos, that's how much i miss you... and i saw some of the photos you used to send me... how come you don't send me nothing no more?" he taunted you, and you didn't even know his hands were halfway down his pants as he spoke to you so enticingly.

"you know why. how did armin end up seeing my nudes?" you furrowed your eyebrows and turned the phone back to your face with a jokingly angry expression causing eren to burst out laughing.

"i told you i was sorry, it was an accident! historia saw my dick print that one time."

"that's because you sent it to me when she was using my phone, nobody asked you to send those to me while i was out with my friends."

"you're always out with your friends and never with me."

"you're such a baby."

"but i'm your baby, and your baby wants you right now."

you were at lost for words, your voice croaking when you tried to come up with something to say, but eren didn't mind, after a moment of comfortable silence he continued to carry the conversation for you.

"wanna feel that pretty body, i wanna kiss you and hold you," a faint noise was eliciting from the other side of the line, small constant sounds of fabric being ruffled almost— and alongside it, eren's soft panting. "the things i want to do to you, baby... i wanna fuck you so bad right now."

eren's hand was wrapped around himself, stroking up and down in a rhythm that you could hear from where you were thanks to the facetime call you were on. "eren—"

"that's one reason i miss you so much... i been fucking my fist to that pretty face almost everyday..."

you turned over to your side letting the phone rest beside you as you listened to eren through the phone. "yeah?"

"yeah, 'm doing it right now, that's how much i miss that pretty pussy."

somehow you found your own hand trailing down to your underwear, pulling the fabric aside and basking in eren's deep voice and praise. you didn't even realize the soft moan you made until eren's voice came in on the other line.

"you're touching yourself too? touching yourself to me?"

his voice— it was so low and grumbly, just like he had only just woken up, the way he spoke working you up. "mhm," you responded, and when he didn’t continue you took his silence as a way of him telling you to 'proceed', letting your fingers brush over your clit.

"i bet you miss me just as much then... miss the way i bend you over..." eren groaned at his own words, his hand tightening around his cock. his sweatpants and boxer were shoved down around his thighs, only enough so that he would be able to pump himself while laying on his back. "miss the way i fuck you so nice, right?"

"yeah.." you mumbled, you didn't really want to be in the position you were when your friends were sitting just downstairs but you couldn't help it, eren just had a natural charm to him that had you doing whatever he wanted you to.

"fuck, baby, if you were here right now i'd have you screaming like you always do—" you let out a low whimper at the thought, he wasn't lying, he did usually have you screaming and crying during your sexual endeavors, he was just that good once the two of you had learned what each other liked and disliked. "bouncing on my dick like that... you wouldn't even be able to touch yourself like you are right now if i was there..." you clenched at this because once again, he was right, he loved edging you, it's was something about the way you would cry and beg for him to let you come that turned him on so much. "fuck, i miss you."

you let a finger enter into you, and you tried to hold back your moans, your mouth agape at the feelings and you could only imagine it was eren's fingers instead. "i, i miss you too." and the noises, the squelching noises just had to be transferred over the call as well, eren letting out a low chuckle when he heard them.

"you're dirty..." he laughed, thumb slipping over his tip to collect his precum and smooth it down his length. "if you're gonna finger yourself show me,"

you squeezed your legs around you and turned onto your back. "eren..."

"let me see."

he moved his face into the camera, head now against his headboard and him still pumping himself while he watched you adjust his view so that the camera was flipped. at first, it was quite shaky while you pulled off your own sweatpants and underwear, putting them off to the side and then making sure the camera wasn't too shaky for eren. "yeah, right there, now put them back inside, put on a show for me, ______."

he was doing something to you, and it wasn't fair. you slipped your fingers back inside of yourself as he asked and let out a drawled out moan, eren's mouth dropping open much like yours earlier, head tilting back against the headboard as he lifted his hips up to meet his hand. "fuck— you wish that was me fucking you instead?"

you let out another whimper, your eyebrows furrowing and your eyes closing at his words; you weren't even sure if the camera was positioned properly anymore but eren wasn't complaining so you could only assume so. "uh huh,"

"look, baby." you opened your eyes again and looked at the phone. the camera was no longer on eren's face, it was now on his dick, his hand wrapped tightly around it moving up and down slowly. "can you see it?" and you could, albeit the dimness of the room, there was just enough light to see his movements. "you want this inside you?"

you nodded your head only to realize he wouldn't be able to hear you and instead let out a small "yeah", adding another finger into yourself and biting your lip to keep from moaning out while watching eren get himself off at you doing the same, you completely dismissed the words 'eren jaeger💍 took a facetime photo.' when they popped up on your screen, you were to amped up, but you knew you'd be complaining later.

"god, you're so beautiful, i can't— 'mma come." he whined, hips once again jutting into his hand. he was getting sweaty, feeling how close he was, his skin shiny with a thin sheen of perspiration, hair tie touching his neck as his ponytail was almost completely loose. his eyebrows were knit together and his complexion was flushed, with the phone in front of him to give you a good view while he stared down at it to watch you. "i want you to come first, make yourself come first for me."

your eyes fluttered, and you used your thumb to rub your clit while you let your fingers glide in and out of you, the wet noises making eren jerk off faster, a choked noise leaving his throat as he tried to hold back. "c'mon baby, just act like that's me, that's me fucking you so well," and he didn't even have to go on, your orgasm washing over you at eren's words and the stimulation, your fingers pulling out of you and your knees coming together while your face twisted in pure pleasure, the sound of eren unfolding on the other line as well.

"______!" he moaned, letting his cum spill all over his hand, and oh, what a sight. "fuck... did you like that?"

you flipped the camera back, placing it on the bed and using your one hand that was holding the phone to pull both your underwear and sweatpants back on. "i guess," you murmured once you had your bottoms on again. "i'll be right back."

"yeah, me too."

both you and eren left to clean yourself up and wash your hands, you coming back to eren being back first. "so when are you coming back again?" he asks, now his face once again fully in the camera laying on his stomach, clutching his pillow.

you held back a small laugh at his boyish grin when he looked at you, clear content in his eyes, the light from the phone illuminating his features. "two more days, i'll see you soon, eren."

"that's too long. can we do this again if i start missing you again?"

"no, this was a one time thing, i'm hanging out with my friends!" eren pouted at you and squeezed his pillow a little more then leaning forward and kissing the phone making you grimace at him and start laughing. "you're so weird."

"shut up and go hang out with your friends."

you and eren finally hung up the phone after a mantra of 'i love you' from both ends, you finally heading back downstairs.

"well that took forever." historia said, her eyebrows raised at you when you strut back in the living room.

"yeah cause she was probably phone fucking her boyfriend." ymir joked, but it caught you off guard because, she wasn't wrong.

"i wasn't!" you retorted quicker than you meant to, historia and sasha laughing.

"i took a nap while you were up there... that’s how long you took! we have to get ready, we're leaving to go out to eat at four pm." pieck yawned, stretching out her arms and legs and moving them from where she stretched them into your previous spot.

"okay, well then i'm gonna go back upstairs to get ready." you replied, turning back around to head back upstairs.

"don't waste anymore of our time being on the phone with jaeger boy." ymir scoffed as she watched you go up the stairs, historia hitting her shoulder from beside her.

"i won't!" you smiled to yourself, as you made your trek back up the stair, of course you wouldn't take any longer than you needed to getting ready, but you definitely  wouldn't waste anytime getting back to eren once you made it back home.

[mrskurono]

AHHDJSHDJAHR BRB GONNA BARBECUE MYSELF AAAAHHHH YHE ONESHOT hinata being late to volleyball practice because he had to “clean smth up”. hinata looking up at u with his big brown eyes, chin dripping with ur juices and his spit, asking you if he did well. BYE, it’s over for me, going dark now 🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️. jk u know i live in ur ask box rent free 😗

ok but fr hinata can fucking get it. i’ll let his overexcited ass pound my pussy all while petting his hair and calling him my good boy idc.

- 🪢 (all these pet play asks 😩 kitty!suna 😭😭)

YOU STARTED THIS NOW YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT BC MY BIG FAT LOVE FOR HINATA NEVER ENDS I say as I lay in bed snuggling my Hinata doll like I'm threatening at all

His little energizer bunny/jack rabbit/hyper ass can get it any day. Lemme fuck you until you're incoherently babbling shit. Just to turn around in the same breath and let Hinata rail me until I'm the stupid one 😩💦 Get me a man who can do both hOw DaRe that ginger not be real this puthy ain't getting that dick and I'm gonna be mad 😡💦💦

Live in my pocket like you do my inbox babe ilysm kisses

The pet asks- kitty!Suna 😩 he's been living rent free in my head for daaaays now. Needy quiet baby. Doesn't do much. Normally sleeps in the sun like a pretty boy. But loves it when momma comes to bed. He'll pile into bed with you. Until you wake up with big ol' kitty!Suna staring down at you. He's on top. Tail flicking and rubbing against your panties. He loves night time so much bc its uninterrupted time with you and it means you wear the skimpiest things to bed ♡

Kitty!Suna loves the way your skin feels and rubs against you all night. Doesn't take long for him to be more than just lovey dovey. Kitty rubbing his poor cock against you. Meowing and nipping at your arm for attention. No matter how many times you swat at him he won't go back to bed. Sighs. Guess the best solution is to ask if he wants under the covers with you.

And of course he does. Kitty!Suna is smashed against your front now. Grinding into you with his face in your tits as he licks all over your chest. He won't go back to sleep until you just give him what he wants. Finally just lifting your leg enough for him to slip his poor aching cock into you. It's all he's wanted from the get go ♡ Now at least he's stop whining and you can enjoy the quiet while kitty!Suna snuggles with you under the covers, soft ears to your chest and his hard cock knotted inside you with big ol kitty!Suna purring up a storm bc he's a smug happy baby who always gets his way ♡

Brb jfc am I thinking about fucking Suna- fuck fuck Fuck- hold up- no gotta not admit that- oh god no not another existential crisis over a fictional characters-

[scaramoon]

OKAY SO LORE I’M TYPING THIS IN MY NOTES APP AS I’M WATCHING THE STREAM TO GIVE YOU THE FULL EXPERIENCE AND TO MAKE SURE I DONT MISS TO TELL YOU ANYTHING

there’s someone playing piano?? like straight up video of someone at a piano,,,,i think it’s yu-peng chen!! the song he’s playing is so pretty :( THEY HAVE A WHOLE INAZUMA THEMED SET HE’S PLAYING IN?? THERES AN ACTUAL INAZUMA ARCHON STATUE IN THE BACKGROUND AND EVERYTHING??

the stream is in chinese!! with subtitles!!

it will be 2.0 AND inazuma is now officially confirmed!!

now there’s a trailer! ITS ALL SO PRETTY AND OMG THE VOICE ACTORS?? GOROU AND THOMA WERE SHOWN!! oh my god the pyro cube?? looks so?? scary?? AAAAH THOMA THOMA THOMA??? STOOD NEXT TO AETHER?? IM SCREAMING rn they’re shaking ayaka!! and now yoimiya!! her voice actor is so cute i’m- SAYUUUU!!!! AGHH SHES SO CUTE BYE GOROU GORIU GORIU GOROU AAAAHHH HE EAS THERE HE WAS THERE AAAAAH

FIRST CODE: AS6BQKLY9GLD

now they’re back to the set!! they’re introducing some of the developers, right now there’s aquaria who’s the combat designer in genshin and rn they’re talking about the stages and joys of development and how the process works,,,i actually like this part!! it’s nice to see the people working on a game i’m so fond of talk so passionately about their thoughts while they’re working on it :> he said everyone at mihoyo loves the game as much as we do and that it’s all of us together in teyvat and i went 🥺 ngl

now he’s talking about inazuma and how different it was than mondstadt or liyue and how different the challenges there were! they put a lot of thought into the electro aspect of inazuma as well as the “eternity” part of it. there will be more dev talk later and now they’re just announcing the fan art contest that starts today

now they had a set change and there’s a different dev, and now they’re talking about the cultural and design aspects of inazuma! they say they love to see fan theories and that they often leave little clues in the game and that it brings them joy and motivation when people find and decipher them. they’re talking about the tea house now and the shiba inu that owns it; they hope players can discover all the little details the writers and designers put all over inazuma,,THEY JUST DRANK IN SYNC BC THEY STARTED TALKING ABOUT UNIFORMITY IN INAZUMA IM SOBBING,,,,ok wait it’s actually rlly interesting bc they’re talking about how they made sure every single detail in inazuma contributes/reflects the story and the “electro archon strives for eternity” story i’m- they’re currently talking about the real life inspiration they had, for example how the sacred sakura tree came to be and what it means

now they’re showing character combat (?) trailers!! ayaka is first, now yoimiya!! they’re actually showing the pyro cube in yoimiya’s!! THEYRE SHOWING SAYUUU MY BBY SHES SO CUTE they’re joking about how genshin players have been waiting for ayaka since the beginning of the game lmaooo bye 😭 they’re talking about the new characters now, what kind of people they are, what to expect from them and what their character traits are!! ayaka is elegant but also sweet and cute, yoimiya is creative and somewhat childish, enthusiastic and gets along with everyone, sayu sleeps a lot to grow taller and is a very well trained tiny ninja

we’re getting two new story chapters, act I and act II as well as ayaka’s and yoimiya’s story quests!!

THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THOMA, he’s observant apparently and has a very mysterious character!! they’re also talking about sara and kokomi AAHHHH GOROU GOROU!! they didn’t say much about him other than that he’s very dependable and fierce in battle!! they also mentioned yae sakura!!

SECOND CODE; GBNA9J5H9Y4H

another scene change and another dev, now it’s cissie!! she’s the one designing the inazuma map/landscape creator and they’ll be talking about geological design and the scenery of inazuma since it’s a archipelago as well!! she’s talking about the different uses of colour and shapes and how they’re using them to impact the player’s gaming experience; she also said that they tried to pay homage to classic ghibli movies with some of the design choices they made!

rn they’re showing “the shimmering voyage” which is the 1.0 ost w 68 songs which will me available soon!! now they’re talking to yu-peng chen THEY HAD THE LONDON SYMPHONIC THEATRE RECORD THE MONDSTADT SOUNDTRACK, THE SHANGHAI ONE THE ONE FOR LIYUE AND NOW THEY ASKED THE ONE IN TOKYO TO DO THE ONE FOR INAZUMA?? HELLOO?? they pay attention to the smallest details i swear i respect that so much wow

THE THEATRE MECHANICS EVENT IS COMING BACK IN INAZUMA!! we’re getting gardening for our tea pot too!! new enemies called “ruin senitel (?)” which is essentially a worm version of the ruin guard?? it looks weird and scary ngl,,,we get new fatui enemies, “the mirror maiden” as well as normal human enemies in inazuma, dressed like samurais,,

ayaka’s banner is first, then yoimiya & sayu,,,we get 2 new 5 star weapons as well 5 new craftable inazuma weapons. we get 2 new artifacts sets, emblem of severed gate and shimenawas remembrance, we get the ability to choose an artifact by sacrificing 3 5 star artifacts and creating an artifact strongbox; new system for the weapon banner: you pick which of the 5 star weapon you want and if you don’t get it, you get “fate points” and with those you can choose the one you want!

THIRD CODE: LS6T4L9ZZ7TH

and that was it!! yu-peng chen is playing the piano again as a farewell, i guess

AHH TYSM BBY ALL THE KISSES FOR YOU 😞🙏

i really like how much detail they put into it though :( like i’m ngl i am an impatient little shit but fr its so nice to know the devs love it as much as we do, i’ll gladly wait knowing they put so much detail in it :(

ALSO SJDJFJ kazuha and sayu sleeping on warm rocks together send tweet side note: big brother kazuha is v sweet me thinks, they’re related now i said so

i saw some stuff about thoma when i opened twitter a second ago and people are lowkey pressed that their characterizations of him are wrong 😞 that’s what they get for saying he got downgraded 😁

also,,, ruin sential,, y’know the “upgrade, go back, I SAID GO BACK” meme ?? that’s me w ruin guards, hunters, and graders so 😃 i stg if that thing can go underground i’m gonna cry. OH ALSO i heard about the garden thing a while ago and i don’t remember a lot of what was said but it’s really cool >:)

pov you’re me using kazuha to fight the samurais bc i think it’s funny

OOH WAIT THE ARTIFACT THING SOUNDS COOL THOUGH :0 do we just get to pick what type it is, or do sub stats and stuff carry over/give you a higher chance of getting certain sub stats? either way i’m v happy about that i have so much maiden stuff and uh. no one to put it on :”)

the weapon banner thing sounds cool too :> i don’t have a five star weapon bc i’m scared to waste primos but mayhaps if i can choose... >:)

also shout out to yu-peng chen for being amazing, thought one of the mondstadt songs would be easy to play and i was Very Wrong

[justsomefluff]

Good Morning with Ateez

Summary: the title pretty much explains it all lmao

A/N: Sorry that I haven’t been writing! School has been crazy with everything going on, and I have to work as well. Hopefully, I will be able to write more in the coming weeks.

*Members after Joong are below the cut*

Hongjoong: 

ok, waking up in the morning with joongie is wild

If he wakes up first, he’s all giggly

bugging you

kissy kissy all over your face

he’s practically on top of you 

it’s not that he wants to get up or anything, he just prefers when you are awake at the same time

“Let me sleep, Joongie”

“but iM LONELY”

If you’re really tired though he’s gonna be cute with you and let you sleep all you want

he will just lay with you and stroke your hair and kiss your hands and ugh im soft

BUT

if you wake up first

he expects the same

so, if you wake him up with anything other than smooches he’s gonna whine and complain so much

“GIMME KISS”

“no, you have morning breath”

“so what you're saying is you hate me”

SO dramatic

if you manage to slip out of bed before he can trap you

he will jump out of bed and latch onto you

LEECH

tries to steal your energy through his hugs

but overall a cute bb who likes a calm, sweet wakeup with his love

Seonghwa:

(THIS GIF I CANT BREATHE)

So, our precious baby Seonghwa

ALWAYS awake before you

like how does he do it???

why does he do it???

whenever he wakes up, he’ll kinda check on you a little bit

make sure you’re in a comfortable position, give you a kiss and all that

but then he’ll slip out before you wake up??

rude.

And then you wake up and you're kinda grumpy bc why would he leave you cold and alone when you could be cuddling rn

when you find him, he’s halfway through making you breakfast

and that makes up for it

he always tries to do things for you to make your mornings easier

It’s his way of making up for all the things he can’t do for you while he’s working

When he notices that you're awake omigod the biggest smile

Will deadass abandon his cooking to come give you a squeeze

your eyebrows are all furrowed and you’re pouting and you're hair is just the worst but he’s so in love with you, you big dork

Gives you a kiss and then makes you sit down

serves you breakfast, all proud

if it’s something he doesn't normally make, he will watch you take the first bite and cross his fingers that you like it

which you always do

Mornings with him will pretty much always be domestic and sweet

Yunho:

McSquishy

When he wakes up, his cheeks go poof

anyway you usually wake up before him on your days off

but he will wake up soon after you

it’s like he senses that you're awake and wants to join in on the party

so when he wakes up, he feels you stretching and wiggling around

Will make fun of you if you make any of those awkward stretching noises

“UGHHHHH AHHH”

like hush leave me alone

isn’t hard to wake up but he will 100% drag you out of bed as soon as he can

mostly because he wants food

if you don’t get up right away he’ll just make you

like the recent video where he just picks up San and moves him? Yeah exactly

will also do that weird shimmy dance he did in that video too just to show you how excited he is

like a golden retriever no lie

so excited to be with you all the time

“Baby, let’s go” “baby, let’s eat” *smoochies*

and you just kinda let him drag you all over the place because he’s cute

isn’t one for morning cuddles in bed, but will still make you sit on his lap during breakfast and stuff just to have you close

cute squish who just wants to be loved aw

Yeosang:

clingy baby right here

Will probably wake up before you

but he’s not totally there yet, you know?

like his eyes are open but he’s dead

kinda flounders for a second trying to find you in the bed

when he does, he’s sticking to you and not letting go

probably falls asleep again because he’s so comfy and warm

so, it’s up to you to wake up before both of you sleep through the day

he’s usually pretty happy when he wakes up

lots of sleepy smiles

nuzzling into you like crazy

even though he’s groggier than you, he will be the first to get up

probably to pee or something idk he just needs to move

eager to start the day

If you’re still in bed 5 minutes after he gets up he’s gonna judge you

“How dare you let me start our day together by MYSELF”

when you do get up, all is forgiven

the kind of person who likes to go out for breakfast rather than cook it at home

it’s not that he can’t, he just doesn’t want to lmao

always excited to dress up a little bit with you for breakfast dates

the perfect beginning to your day together imo

San:

SO WHINY

obviously you’re gonna have to be the one to wake him up

waking up is San’s least favorite part of the day

will trap you in bed for the entire day if you let him

“San, I know you’re tired but we slept ‘til noon”

“Let’s make it 2:00″

literally goes through the 7 stages of grief when he wakes up

Denial: “not morning yet, bye”

Guilt: “I’m so lazy”

Bargaining: “BABY, two more hours, it’ll be great”

Depression: “they started the day without me and I’m lonely”

Upward Turn: “maybe I feel a little more awake now”

Working Through: “ok I can do this, just one more stretch”

Acceptance: “Im up”

Like finally

definitely likes morning cuddles though so if you didn't give him at least that, then he’s gonna hate you for the day

loves starting his day with you and if you don't help him wake up the way he wants

Grumpy baby all day

just snuggle him dammit

Mingi:

ok so he’s not waking up I don't care

when Mingi sleeps, he’s comatose okay

until he has a genuine reason to get up, he is parked

likes to cuddle, but not gonna sacrifice sleep for it

so, if you get up and start your day, whatever he’ll stay

like he’ll ask you to stay and cuddle but he isn’t gonna have enough energy to argue with you over it lmao

you deadass need jumper cables to get him started

if he has to get up to pee or something minor, he will try to do it without you noticing so he can go back to sleep

“SONG MINGI, I SEE YOU”

“NO” and then he sprints back to bed

cue wrestling in bed because once he is fully awake he can’t sit still

like you’re trying to get him up and, while he’s awake now, he just wants to make your life a little harder

pulling you under the covers and everything while you're begging him to come eat with you

he will eventually give in because food

but with him, you kind of just have to let him wake up on his own

if you want to get him started that’s fine, but it prolly won’t help lmao

let him sleep, he’ll figure it out

Wooyoung:

Wooyoungie babyyyyy

When I wake up in the morning...it’s not as sexy as you think

contrary to popular belief, Woo does not wake up sexily

he wakes up friggin adorable

when you wake up first, he just makes you cuddle him until he’w ready to get up, no arguments

but if he wakes up first, he’s wiggling all over the place

another one who just cant sit still 

will stretch and bounce and just be a nuisance until you get up too

he will definitely smack you in the face when he’s stretching and then just laugh when you glare at him

when really he should fear for his life like you did not just wake me up by SMACKING ME

but will definitely be kissing you everywhere because he always says he wants to start his day by seeing you smile

cheeseball fr

also he’s loud

in case you didn't know

“JAGIYA WAKE UPPPPPP”

“SHHHHHHHHHH WOOYOUNGAH”

but his volume is contagious and then you're both yelling and its insane

but then you're both giggling and kissing and hugging and its a good morning because

no time spent with Wooyoung is wasted

Jongho:

(How could I not use this gif I mean really)

Jongho is so hard to wake up

like at least Mingi will wake up to shoo you away

but Jongho physically cannot

You could squeeze an air horn by his face and he wouldn't even flinch

basically he’s a heavy sleeper

But as you have more sleepovers, you’ll figure out a way to wake him up more effectively

whatever your method may be, he will be smiling as soon as he opens his eyes

always excited to see you

bc he’s a sweet baby

will make you hug him for a little bit and he’ll kiss your head

after a little bit he’ll sigh and be like “okay”

that’s when you know you can both get up

will follow you around and do pieces of his routine as you do yours

you're almost totally in sync its kinda creepy

but then he will offer to help you make breakfast and always lets you pick what you want to make

just soft for you in general and he’d give you the world

hell, he’s definitely strong enough

[borathae]

Chapter 26

OMG TAE BABY BAY I AAAH STOOP KOOK JUNGKOOK SOTP

TAE NO U DONT DESERVE IT PLEASE U NEED TO BE AWAY FROM JOON THATS ALL U ARE BBETTER WITHOUT JIMIN(controlled) AND NAMJOON

HOLY FUCK YOONGI DADDY oh he stopped him with mind control? “never in my cursed life did I want to use this power again damn

OK NOW SAVE JIMIN MY BABY PLEASE I HATED HIM ALL THESE CHAPTERS ONLY TO LIKE HIM FOR 1 PARAGRAPH AND MF JUST DIES NAH UH WTF GET UR ASS UP NO U DONT GET TO DIE ON ME LIKE THAT

3000 YEARS??? BRO WTF wait dude is from the bc?? damn wtf omg i have so many stupid questions to ask him xd i will prepare a list and you can make yoongi answer

“You are one of them. The Creators, runs back to that old chapter hold on i just saw rippers have flesh dissolving acids in their gland that would make sense why kook's saliva burned her skin wait a sorcerer cursed some people and they are the creators?

STOP TALKING WHERE IS JAMAL NO NOT ASJH SHUT UP HE DIDNT

whats going on i cant handle shit wtf man this is hard why are my emotions actually emotioning on a book you are too good wow

wow he just casually broke his spine like a fucking twig my spine just shivered thank fucking you yoongi

Some are empty, but in some chained up corpses look back at you. um what the actual fuck? “Their eyes just moved!” you screech, stumbling back. “That’s because they are alive”, Yoongi answers dryly. WTF WTF ABORT MISSION WHAT THE FUCK GOES ON YALL THE POWER CHRIST COMPELS YOU ALLAHU AKBAR *calls all hindu gods and idk other gods damn i look like the girl hobi mentioned 😃

sibi are u ok my love? like is everything alright at home? do u get enough sleep? what are you eating? any nightmares?

yoongi wtf why are they being dehydrated like grapes? cant u idk do something else to them idk wtf

wow 7 people oof quite a lot, why cant he idk try more rehab-ish for them looks horrific, their actions are inhuman but it feels horrific knowing they will never get better and be able to leave

DAMN BABY I FUCKING LOVE YOU YOU ARE SO HOT MUAH dude could have just said he gave them chances cuz sorry it doesnt look cute enough to guess they got chances

“That was literally so badass what you just did. Girl I think I just got a boner, that was so hot”, Hoseok says. FR I GOT A LADY BONER

I’m a goddamn gluttonous Ripper I do this to redeem myself”, you mock his voice, PLS LAMO ISTG HE MUST HAVE HEARD IT AND DECIDED TO IGNORE IT HAHA

“Whatever, stop making sense and let us be angry”, you say. FR Hoseok lifts his hands, “I’m already quiet.” HAHA

“Don’t play knight in shining armour where you shouldn’t”, a dark voice cuts through the room. AAAAH WTF BYE HOBI IS RIGHT HE GIVES ME HEE JEE BIES

Hoseok and Seokjin hide behind you, wow every man for himself

WTF KOOK STILL CANT MOVE? YOONGI WHAT ARE U DOING LEAVE THE POOR BOY ALONE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLE

“Princess wait”, he tries to grab for you, FUCK OFF

“Then at least I died trying.” queen for real

i get them cuz why would you want someone like him out in the streets and kill more emma/oc/victims

but they need to go after namjoon, after all if he is out, there will be more "jimin" and "taehyung"

TAE NO U DONT DESERVE IT PLEASE U NEED TO BE AWAY FROM JOON THATS ALL U ARE BBETTER WITHOUT JIMIN(controlled) AND NAMJOON

😭😭😭😭

HOLY FUCK YOONGI DADDY oh he stopped him with mind control? “never in my cursed life did I want to use this power again damn

lmaoaoo I love how you still find time to thirst jfadsj valid

OK NOW SAVE JIMIN MY BABY PLEASE I HATED HIM ALL THESE CHAPTERS ONLY TO LIKE HIM FOR 1 PARAGRAPH AND MF JUST DIES NAH UH WTF GET UR ASS UP NO U DONT GET TO DIE ON ME LIKE THAT

bestie...i might have news for you....

3000 YEARS??? BRO WTF wait dude is from the bc?? damn wtf omg i have so many stupid questions to ask him xd i will prepare a list and you can make yoongi answer

YES please do that <3 he'd pretend to hate it but would definitely take a lot of time to answer them <3

“You are one of them. The Creators, runs back to that old chapter hold on i just saw rippers have flesh dissolving acids in their gland that would make sense why kook's saliva burned her skin wait a sorcerer cursed some people and they are the creators?

I love watching people connect all the dots 😌

whats going on i cant handle shit wtf man this is hard why are my emotions actually emotioning on a book you are too good wow

*laughs in author*

wow he just casually broke his spine like a fucking twig my spine just shivered thank fucking you yoongi

like he is actually so scary if he wants to *sucks his dick*

*calls all hindu gods and idk other gods damn i look like the girl hobi mentioned 😃

lmaoaoao the fear is so valid fjasdjjf

sibi are u ok my love? like is everything alright at home? do u get enough sleep? what are you eating? any nightmares?

I am very fine actually 😃😃😃

yoongi wtf why are they being dehydrated like grapes? cant u idk do something else to them idk wtf

there will be answers to your question very soon 👀

DAMN BABY I FUCKING LOVE YOU YOU ARE SO HOT MUAH dude could have just said he gave them chances cuz sorry it doesnt look cute enough to guess they got chances

lmaoao babygirl changed her mind real fast (me)

“That was literally so badass what you just did. Girl I think I just got a boner, that was so hot”, Hoseok says. FR I GOT A LADY BONER

hahha love that for you and Hobi

I’m a goddamn gluttonous Ripper I do this to redeem myself”, you mock his voice, PLS LAMO ISTG HE MUST HAVE HEARD IT AND DECIDED TO IGNORE IT HAHA

oh 100%

“Don’t play knight in shining armour where you shouldn’t”, a dark voice cuts through the room. AAAAH WTF BYE HOBI IS RIGHT HE GIVES ME HEE JEE BIES

he is so scary *eats his ass*

Hoseok and Seokjin hide behind you, wow every man for himself

I HATE THEM 😭😭😭

WTF KOOK STILL CANT MOVE? YOONGI WHAT ARE U DOING LEAVE THE POOR BOY ALONE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLE

LIKE SERIOUSLY LEAVE POOKIE ALONE 😡

“Princess wait”, he tries to grab for you, FUCK OFF

LIKE bro it's too late for that

but they need to go after namjoon, after all if he is out, there will be more "jimin" and "taehyung"

yes 100%

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

Fallout76 again:

"Ok but like, if you dont lock your stuff, it's free so like?"

"Oh my god... three... wE ARE THREE ASEXUALS AT THE SAME TEAM YOOOO! LOOK AT THAT??? THREE FLAGS, WHAT ARE THE ODDS??? YAAAS PRIIIIIDEEEEEE✊🏻✊🏻"

"Leave me alone, I'm shopping"

*tame mirelurk king walks around* "... ok that's just freaky"

"I've done so many quests, so fast, so many daily quests.... and now I have three left, and then I'm changing character and I just... hhhhhhh"

"Someone is waving at me, I'm in pip boy, go away??? Hhh what are they doing?? I hear the ?? Sound"

"Camp hopping, I'm tired of the over priced stuff.... just coman, I never go above"

"Hehe, sloCUM"

"I feel so bad for just going to their camp, and not buying"

"Someone is buying things from me! :D"

"... I think I need like four characters to get all the endings... should I make a new one?"

"Ok ok, interesting camp"

"What??? Where, what?? Its like a maze? And a race track and and?? I got stuck xD I just wanna buy stuff what is going on"

"Fuck.. I missed"

"Xxflo fr... you genius"

"I bet the shop isnt even at the end"

"They can see me when I enter their shelter, they know of my mistakes"

"I'm checking the other shelter"

"Fine, fine, fiiine! I'll make it"

"I'm gonna film this place"

"What a ride this is"

"This bothers me xD I want a jet pack, I wanna cheat"

"I just sent them a message 'Please, where's your vendor?😭😭' I'm stuck in a hole... for the forth time😭😭"

"Its outside! I'm screaming"

"Hell no, they're level 300??? Fuck that, they showed up on the camp, I'm not staying around high levels, ik its dumb, but I get so angsty.. yes I am 270, but I'm an idiot"

"I sent them a reply that said 'I'm a fool😭' "

"Help help help. A power armour ran towards me"

"Just saying that, normally when its night where I live, that's when people get mean to me"

"I generally dont wanna go down to peoples shelters if they have the vendor there... I was here since the beta. I have bad experiences"

"Power armour people are ✨scary✨"

"I should get like a watch that checks my pulse, so I can show when my pulse spikes whenever i see a high level player around me"

" :c i was just removed from the team... it's a glitch ik that but still :c "

"Oh... it wasnt a glitch... they just threw me out..... ;-; i thought we were strong aces.... I'm sad now"

"I'm all alone on a team"

"That's fine, I'm done here anyways so fuck you ;;;;-;;;;;"

"I have to do daily stuff with Jesus too, so whatever"

"I'm sad"

"... I'm on the same map... how why what no why?????"

"No wait, I think flo just jumped map too?"

"What just happened"

"Oh, ok, enemies took care of the quest, cop a squatter thing, so yay"

"Why wont anyone be with me"

"I joined team with flo, spooky"

"Ok, I'm now suddenly doing a quest?"

"This weapon is shit... lvl 45"

"Yay! Someone bought stuff from me🥰"

"Omg its flo"

"I have to remember that is is a good character, Jesus is here for good things. This is not my main where I'd see a scavenger, and even after they give me things, I kill them... no cuz this is a good character and they're not a raider, gotcha"

"A hunt for magazines, they cannot escape me"

"Fighting with my cat, I say 'no, u cant sleep my lap, that's where the controller is', and the fucking moment I wrote that, the fucker jumped on my lap. What an asshole"

"No magazine, but a bobblehead"

"Ok, flo isnt home, let's go"

"!!!! They showed up"

"Ok, flo got a female character, which means nothing, but for some reason it's like 'phew', and that is very sexist of my brain, I am sorry"

"Omg they're approaching me ;-;"

"Oh, waving, yeah hello bye thanks for selling stuff to good prices byee"

Me: oh they're not so scary after all

Them, approaching me, prob with no ill intentions:

Me: STRANGER DANGER😭😭

" but that's just me with any high level or power armour person so"

"Ok ok, I went to get Beckett, and then I have to get his shit, but i went back to my camp first to fix shit, and blood eagles followed me????"

"People left the team... now it's only me😭😭"

"Joined a new one"

"And someone right away started to buy from me, omg thank youuu"

"... here we go again... let's build stuff again, wow a new house woo -.-"

"Jesus.. *heh* I've gamed waaaay too long"

[star2sworld]

yalllll. I didn’t have time to write in the morning but here is the update on how my day is going so far.

So, I don’t think I got any sleep tonight. I was up basically every hour and surprisingly I didn’t feel tired but still tried to go back to bed. I think I daydreamed the night away I swear. Bc I don’t feel like I slept at all.

Anyways, when I got on the bus I started to search up how to write an essay and stuff. I went straight to the library and waited there. Tell me why N comes up like god I was so annoyed. I lowkey panicked at first but I don’t care he’s so annoying to look at I’m just glad he’s out of my sight fr. I don’t think he even did his work so idk why he was there for so damn long.

But yeah. I think I did ok. I didn’t complete the last two opened end tho. And I kinda just gave up on the last section all together lol. The stories were just so boring to read.

I feel so damn tired. I haven’t spoke all day and it feels so weird. Like a part of myself is locked away omg. I just want to talk to someone cuz i feel like im suffocating. Anyways, after im done with my physics Ed puzzle im taking my ass to bed. The breakfast and lunch was so shit today I’m so hungry rn. Next period I have to review the part 4 quiz so I can take it during English. Then I’m basically done. I have to practice more in guitar tho bc I have a C right now it’s bad lol

I also have a math quiz tomorrow and I am notttr ready for it fr. I’m gonna print it out at home tho instead of asking him. If he allows me, I will just take the test on Friday or something

Anyways good bye too tied to write anything else

[strvwberryblcnde]

👫 teddy/lana

send a 👫 and I’ll write four headcanons i have about our muses’ relationship.

ok so. lana has a habit of sharing food as one of her many love languages i think. she jst likes.... giving ppl things even if it means she’ll have less. she’d let a wolf make a meal out of her n eat every last piece if she loved him n she knew he’d feel full. bt of everyone i feel like teddy hs always been the one she does this w most.... like even when they first met in the cafeteria she gave him spoonfuls of her greek yogurt n honey. whenever she’s eating fruit (which is a lot she’s obsessed w strawberries n peaches n grapes n tangerines n oranges) she’ll ALWAYS give him half whether tht’s segmenting up pieces or dividing bites evenly between them n Without Fail it’ll always b half tht she gives him whereas she might give other ppl like.... a bite or a piece or two bt......... it’s rly specific each time tht she gives teddy half. it isn’t even intentional it’s jst like a subconscious thing bt if we were to slide on spectacles n analyse this in an english class fr it’s Meaning then. looks at u then looks away. i think this represents the way tht teddy hs always felt like another half of her. they’re one in the same. in a lot of ways they’re very similar mayb even................ TOO similar n that’s why it’s been sch a fking.... bastard of trying to work things out ever bc they very much hv the same rampant commitment issues n bad timing n fears of never being gd enough. i feel like in the past a guy she ws dating (noncommittally as lana tended to do these things) wld have even noticed this n it would have bugged him a lot just like... how close she was w teddy in general............. n he would’ve one day brought it up in the middle of a fight he’d picked jst cutting away from what they were talking abt to be like. u only ever give me one bite but u would give teddy all of it if he asked u to. tell me i’m wrong. n she’d scoff out a laugh in disbelief looking around like omg...... all this over a fruit...... what are u even sa-- n he’d cut her off n be like. literally tell me i’m wrong lana. n she wouldn’t even b able to after going quiet n rly realising what it was he was actually Saying. he’d storm out. relationship over. icons of always being a little bit in love w each other n not even noticing it until someone else points it out <3

god. sighs dramatically at the idea i jst had. i cn imagine in la verse lana being rly drunk getting bk from a date one time n inevitably it was just some random loser since she’s back to dating Trash in this era bc she just truly cbas trying after her breakup w dom n............. it would be like a parallel to tht one time they’d fallen out over him sleeping w imogen when she ws upset w him bt crawled into his bed drunk at a party just to lie w him for a little while despite everything...... she wld have gone to his instead of hers on some drunken automatic pilot n somehow got into his room n..... she’d clamber in n flop nxt to him n maybe it wld be funny at first if he woke up n was like lana what the fk...... are u doing here.... so disorientated n confused.......... n she’d just be joking initially bt very clearly drunk like making fun of her date talking abt how he kept complimenting his own hair n calling himself a tesla in a sea of prius’ n checking himself out in every window they passed n then the laughter wld slowly trickle off n she’d go kind of quiet fr a moment n maybe teddy wld assume she ws passing out bc she’d drank sm bt after a short silence she’d perk up with a mumble out of nowhere n, barely conscious of what she’s saying, b like “why didn’t u wait for me like u said u would”. n if he was like.............. huh? she’d have her eyes shut n just b murmuring half awake then open them sleepily to look at him n rly quietly be like........ “u promised”. mayb she’d even reach out to gingerly trace his face bt then her wrist wld go slack bc she was rly tired n she’d just wriggle closer n tuck her head to get comfy n be like “warm” then promptly fall asleep. JSGSFKGHFHGKHGSFKH. literally jst jolting him awake w this rarely serious n genuine conversation then passing out. jst the worst fk teddy’s life bet he lay there staring at the ceiling fr so long after tht one <3 lana wouldn’t remember this in the morning either she’d wake up like why am i here........ did we meet up last night............ teddy jst like >_> u crashed here it was nbd.

i picture the first week they moved to LA lana wldn’t have admitted it bt she wld be feeling rly homesick............ radcliffe was very much like the first place she truly felt was her home n she’d miss all of the ppl there n just the general area A Lot............. one night i can see her jst wanting to spend with teddy to have like a sense of familiarity in an unfamiliar city (even if she’s spent a decent amt of time there over the yrs bc of jameson records hving studios etc bt still) n i’m imagining them like. breaking into an indoor swimming complex that her n her friends in high skl used to break into in the summers when they vacationed yrs ago.... maybe lana still has a key cut tht works from a connection she made bk then idk <3 it doesn’t matter <3 n they’d inevitably be drunk n just messing around n splashing each other n doing handstand competitions n all the typical..... fun frivolous childish antics lana n teddy tend to get into whenever they’re around each other.... truly jst transformed into big kids whenever they’re in the other’s company..... inspired a little by this gifset jst in terms of the playing around underwater vibe. anyway. mayb they mostly dry off bt they end up climbing up onto the rooftop after n it’s a baking summer night anyway so it isn’t like they’ll catch a cold being damp bt they share a big fluffy towel n bottle of rum between them huddled overlooking the lights of the city. n maybe somehow it gets onto lana admitting how much she misses home n how it’s kind of weird being here especially bc she’s further from caleb. she’s never been this far from him since he was away in the army n we all kno hw tht turned out. mayb she’d go a bit quiet after saying this bt then i think she’d take his hand w their fingers laced together n she’d rest her head on his shoulder n be like. at least i’ll always have u. it’s like i took a piece of home w me. we’ve always had each other like that. then she’d perk up n lift her head n be like let’s make a deal. i’ll be ur home if u’ll be mine. ok? n make him pinky promise. i dnt think she’d quite consider the sentimentality in tht bt 😔 she nvr rly does she jst says what feels natural without attention paid to the deeper meaning tht motivated it n.... sighs. looks at u then looks away....

this is inspired by tht scene in don’t trust the b in apartment 23 where she’s like “look. that video of me getting rawed by my best friend means the world to me.” KJGFGJKSFHKGHKSFGHKFSHKGSHGK god. inevitably in lana n teddy’s prime when they were literally hooking up 24/7 in earlier college yrs they made.............. a few videos. i mean it’s jst realistic. it’s jst common sense. probably even a feature length film at one point. n i had this idea where bc teddy’s trying to get into acting etc mayb if he gets an agent his agent is like.... do u have any dirt u need to take care of? loose ends to tie up? incriminating files to delete? sex tapes? n if he was like... ya..... mayb his agent wld have asked him to delete them if he still had them on his computer or w.e i mean i kno lana wld n wouldn’t have deleted them she wld have been proud of their work of art...... bt maybe he told lana abt this just laughing abt it n the atmosphere ws lighthearted at first bc she’d find it rly funny too like ommmmggggggg i’m a skeleton in ur closet tht is so fun if u get famous i cld be blasted all over perez hilton that’s kind of sexy..... bt............... mayb she’d as a joke be like. mayb we shld watch it one last time before u delete it. kind of like a funeral service. a goodbye party. sailing out the flaming viking raft n paying our respects u know??? n they were joking bk n forth bt then she’d be like. seriously tho mayb we should? growing more accustomed to the idea actually being a genuine one even tho tht is fking. the WORST idea i have EVER heard in the world like i do NOT know how lana wld think she has the self control to do that bt in her head she’s like. teddy n i are jst best friends now... it’s fine........... we’re open w each other it’s just a bit of fun.......... n then i can imagine if he went along w this it’s like a game of chicken they’re playing w each other where they’re both like fking hell shd we do this.... dnt wna seem like I’M the one tht thinks i can’t handle it........ n it’s some back n forth like nick n jess in new girl where they’re daring each other to have the threeway w the landlord. bt then like not even.... a minute into watching it as they’re both silently holding their breath n crunching popcorn they mde for the occasion (insisting on acting like it ws just a normal movie night) lana wld literally have to be like. slams laptop shut. UMMMM i forgot.... i....... have a very important meeting......... n teddy’s just like. meeting? u don’t have a job... what are u ta-- n she’s like A MEETING A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING...... very blatantly squirming around as she slowly gets up n tries to head fr the door... n teddy’s like.... taking the excuse without much question too like... ya i have to run lines actually i jst remembered gt an audition coming up..... n they’re both like ya haha... maybe some other time.... or maybe just delete it it’s whatever.... anyway we gtg haha... bye.... ttyl...... lana wld literally hv to SPRINT out of there to go home n. deal w how flustered this made her i won’t lie. she bumps into parker n is all flushed in the face n is just like CAN’T TALK BYE n takes off sprinting again like some kind of freak. it’d b a train wreck. i jst think that’d b rly funny tho n dare i say it? it’s canon.