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luvnami · 4 years ago

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𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 (here) | 𝐖𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 | 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 | 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 - This is my entry for @jjkmag Summer Collab! It’s my first long fic in a while but I had a lot of fun writing this (that isn’t to say I think it’s very good. I hope the plot/finality was pulled off decently ok lol). I hope you enjoy it! I chose the prompt 'coming of age', though there are definitely scenes where the other prompts were present as well. Reblogs, comments, shares and likes are really appreciated!!

𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 - @getousuguruwife @amjustagirl @aliteama

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 - Amnesia, Memory loss, Blood, Mild gore, Death, Blood loss, Bullying, Mild Racism (only in the first part), Corpses, Food, Manga spoilers, Pre-canon and canon compliant to a certain extent, Nightmares

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - Nanami Kento's life has been... Good, bad, and everything in between. He (and many others) thinks he's mature, independent, the definition of what a proper adult should be like. But really, the only way he's made it this far is because you've been holding his hand the entire time.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 6.4k

The first memory Nanami has of you sits in a blurry haze at the back of his mind.

You’re probably four or five years old at best, squatting by a puddle in the empty kindergarten playground. Nanami wonders what made him waddle over to you that warm afternoon.

His shoes, scribbled with ugly caricatures in marker, carry him to the other side of the puddle. A shadow cast by a plastic slide slices your features neatly in half like a Greek theatre mask. Nanami doesn’t speak a word to you as he stares at your chubby fingers that push a fallen leaf around in the water as the surface ripples silently.

You look up at Nanami. He’s an odd child, excluded by the other kindergarteners because of how quiet and strange he is. Nanami’s blond hair is abnormal to the immature local Japanese children. They knee the back of his legs while calling him names like ‘banana-gaijin!’ and making fun of his fancy leather shoes.

“Do you wanna play with me?”

Nanami wonders if the words you speak to him are from your heart or something constructed from a plan to bully him again.

“My mama taught me how to make boats with leaves. See?” You point to the puddle. “We can race them.”

Nanami carefully selects a leaf off of the playground’s floor. It’s still green, freshly fallen from its branch. You grin toothily, your eyes sparkling.

“That’s a perfect leaf!” you declare.

Nanami thinks he wants to play with you forever.

He follows you around in school like a lost puppy after that, clutching his hands nervously when you stand up to the children who bully him. Nanami wonders if you’ll ever turn your back on him. He arrives earlier than you every morning and hurriedly scrubs at your table with his handkerchief to get rid of nasty words and obscene drawings, heart thumping against his cotton polo. When his mother asks him why his new handkerchief is so dirty, he remains silent and grips the hem of his shirt tightly.

Children are children; Nanami learns. Afraid of abnormalities, they defend their right to innocence and ego with harsh words and various schemes. He learns to ignore the whispers behind his back. What he can’t disregard, though, is when they lash out at you.

They jeer when you trip during P.E. classes and bump into you on purpose when you carry your lunch tray. You pretend that it doesn’t hurt when Nanami holds your hand gently and leads you to the nurse’s office with scraped knees, hiccuping and swiping at your eyes roughly.

He wonders why you don’t take the easy way out and just stop being friends with him. What’s wrong with you? You hold him tightly, a bundle of thorns, in your soft hands and pretend that you’re not bleeding.

“Ken-chan?” you sniffle.

He turns.

“You’re my best friend, right?”

Nanami gulps. He doesn’t question why you cry on graduation day, bidding your final farewell to him with vague promises of meeting in the same elementary school. Something in his chest doesn’t sit right; the kind of feeling when his mother threw out his old stuffed toys after she deemed him too old for them anymore.

He watches you grow smaller and smaller in the rear window of his family car till you’re the size of an ant, his knees digging into the leather seats.

“Sit down, Kento,” his father chides.

Nanami ignores him. He watches you wave your hand in the air as the car turns around the corner and lurches into the seat.

☆*: .｡.

Nanami’s genuinely surprised when he finds out that his assigned seat is right next to you on the first day of elementary school. You’re no different, mouth wide open in an ‘o’ as you stare at him.“Ken-chan!”

You almost yell, and Nanami shushes you as his face heats up. He finds out that your mothers had conspired to put the both of you into the same school. He can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing just yet, but peace settles into his chest the same way the wings of a bird return to its sides after flight when you giggle at his flustered expression.

Through nine years of elementary and junior high school together, Nanami learns that you always arrange the tips of your pencils to face the right side of your pencil box, and you keep the torn bits of movie tickets shoved into your bedside drawer. You find that Nanami has a knack for dry humour — he’s blunt at every moment possible (which caused much distress after he talked back to a teacher that one time) and can usually be bribed for any favour as long as you pay him in food.

What the both of you find oddly shocking, though, is that no one else can see the creatures that swim through walls and perch in dark corners of the school.

They make you sweat whenever they get too close, bulbous eyes and strange bodies twisting in ways that shouldn’t be physically possible. Sometimes they make noises, whispering or coaxing or shrieking or crying in broken sentences.

Nanami learns to treat them as background noise. You, on the other hand, find that a little more complicated. Sometimes you latch onto him when one brushes against your arm, squeaking and swatting at them in an attempt to chase them away.

“They’re so gross!” you’d whine, pressing yourself even closer to Nanami. “Did you see that one in the gym yesterday? It had tentacles!”

In cases like this, the blond clears his throat and ignores you, averting his gaze. He doesn’t admit to anyone, not even himself, that the warmth of your skin through your uniform makes his heart skip a beat. You’ve grown so close to him that you even know that Nanami sleeps with Doraemon pajamas (absolutely, abhorrently embarrassing. He made his mother throw them out the night after you came over for a sleepover). It was inevitable for him to develop feelings.

Nanami shoves his feelings below a lid and sits on top of it, keeping them under lock and key. He’s sure this is just something to do with puppy love or ‘infatuations’ that are underlined in the puberty print-outs the school distributed, alongside scientific diagrams of genitals that the boys in his class giggle at.

Being friends is enough. Or so he thinks, anyway.

☆*: .｡.

It’s a Friday evening when the sky is dark, and street lights flicker in the distance. Nanami munches away on melon bread from a convenience store while you sip on a carton of juice. Your clubs had ended late today, so the sun was down by the time you left school.

“How’s the bread?” you ask, slurping up the last drops of your drink.

Nanami chews and swallows while you dab at your mouth with a yellow cotton handkerchief.

“It’s okay. Not as good as a bakery’s, though. Kinda stale.”

He crumples the plastic packaging in his hand and sticks it into his pocket, planning to dispose of it later. The both of you round the corner to the bus stop, and your feet fall still. A large curse sits in the middle of the road.

Numerous cars are crumpled like drink cans, smoke, and gasoline leaking onto the streets. There’s blood. Too much blood, in fact, that they seem like puddles of rain on the dark tarmac. Your juice box drops from your hand.

The curse turns to you, its teeth split vertically down the centre of what constitutes a face. Multiple eyes run down the length of its engorged body where various hands and feet stick out at random parts.

“Blood… Blood…” it moans in a cryptic voice.

Nanami stands with his feet frozen to the ground, eyes wide in horror. His knuckles turn white as he grips his school bag. Run, run, run! He screams internally, but his limbs don’t listen to him. The curse slides over the road towards him, slipping through the blood easily.

“Give me… Your blood…”

A part of the curse’s body bubbles up into a large hand. It swings itself back before throwing its newly created appendage towards Nanami. RUN RUN RUN! His legs don’t move. He squeezes his eyes shut, awaiting the impact. Except that it doesn’t hit him. Nothing hurts, except the shrill scream that pierces his ears. Nanami’s eyes snap open in horror.

“Kento!” you yell, dangling upside down as the curse pulls you towards its mouth.

Your school bag lays on the ground below, books scattered as their pages turn red.

“Run!”

Nanami drops everything as he scrambles towards you, tripping over his own two feet and landing face-first in the blood. His hands and knees sting. He shoves himself and gets up with his teeth clenched. You kick your feet in the air in a poor attempt to escape the curse’s grip but to no avail. Another groan is squeezed out of you as the curse opens its mouth, the foul stench of rotting bodies engulfing you.

“Run, Kento!” you plead.

How can he turn his back on you? Sweat drips down his forehead as Nanami pulls his hand back. The adrenaline that rushes through his blood clears in a split-second moment of raw emotion; anger, disappointment, confusion, sadness. A tingling sort of energy floods his body, and Nanami takes a sharp breath of air. He sees something like a ruler — a line divided equally with ten markings, the seventh one crossed out. His fist connects with it.

The curse lets out a weak moan of pain, shaking you around as it recoils from Nanami’s hit. It’s not much, just a surface injury at most. Nanami’s limbs tremble with exertion. One more time, again and again, until you’re safe-

A thick, gross liquid engulfs Nanami as the curse explodes in front of his very eyes. He coughs, running a slimy hand over his face. It smells like death.

“Woah! You put too much into that again, Satoru.”

“Shut up!”

Nanami looks up as he hears footsteps move towards him, the quiet splashing of blood beneath shoes.

“Ugh, this place is so gross.”

“You okay there, kiddo?”

Nanami looks up to find a male with his hair pulled back into a bun staring at him. Behind him is a white-haired teenager with sunglasses (strange, hasn’t the sun already gone down?) and an imposing-looking man.

Where are you?

Nanami glances around frantically amidst the dead bodies that lie on the ground. Not you, not you, not- A tiny sliver of hope slips into his heart when he spots your uniform, and he stumbles over.

“Woah! Slow down!”

He calls out your name, slipping and collapsing onto his knees. Your eyes are closed, and a wound on your head oozes blood. A young girl with short hair reaches out to touch you, but Nanami pulls you into his chest, his eyes wide.

“Don’t,” he whispers.

His head spins. Are these good people? How did they just destroy that big monster? He hadn’t even seen them coming. Were they going to hurt you?

“Calm down, man! We’re good guys.”

“No one’s going to trust you when you say that, Satoru.”

The girl stares at Nanami.

“I’ll take care of your injuries. Can you let me see them, please?”

He relaxes. His grip on you loosens, and the girl feels for your pulse, nodding in affirmation.

“Alive.”

Nanami breathes a sigh of relief. At this realisation, his body begins to tremble like a leaf in the wind. He digs his nails into his palms but still they quiver. His heart pounds in his chest and he struggles to take a deep breath, exhaustion overtaking him.

“Hey, you okay?”

His eyes fall shut.

☆*: .｡.

Nanami finds out over a hot cup of tea that those monsters are called curses, and not everyone can see them.

“Lucky you!” Gojo chimes in.

Lucky? His face wrinkles in despair and Getou laughs so loud at his reaction that he has to step out of the room.

Nanami had sustained minor injuries — nothing beyond a few scrapes and some trauma. You were fine for the most part. After hitting your head on the ground, you remained unconscious for a few more days after Nanami had woken up. You were covered in a few bruises, but otherwise alright.

Nanami was infinitely thankful for that

Yaga tells him that he has enough aptitude to become a full-fledged sorcerer. The school he teaches at is called Jujutsu High and is located on the outskirts of Tokyo. Since he’s in his final year of junior high, why not give it a thought if he wants to join them? Nanami holds Yaga’s name card numbly.

He looks up at Yaga, only one objective clear in his mind. He doesn’t want to see you hurt any longer.

“Will you teach me how to exorcise curses?” he asks.

Gojo laughs outrightly and Geto snorts. Yaga gives him a confident smile, clapping Nanami on the shoulder (he doesn’t quite like that, but he overlooks it for now).

“You can count on that.”

☆*: .｡.

Nanami’s a little apprehensive about entering Jujutsu High, especially when you decide to enrol as well. Given the ability to see curses, you were adamant about learning to help others with this ability you were gifted with. He relented and sulked for the rest of the day until you gave him a cup of pudding.

The first day Nanami and you enter Jujutsu Tech, you meet a wide-eyed boy named Haibara Yu. He’s overly optimistic and passionate — precisely the kind of person that Nanami tires of interacting with. In fact, the very first thing Haibara says upon meeting the both of you irritates him.

“Woah! Blondie, are you from an emo band or something? Your hair really matches the vibe!” Haibara had gasped.

You struggled to suppress your giggles, biting on your lower lip as you turned to the side. Nanami, on the other hand, didn’t find it quite as funny.

“No, I’m not. Nice to meet you too,” he replied monotonously.

It takes all of the following month for Nanami to get used to Haibara’s eccentricities. He always does his best during training, mingles enthusiastically with the upperclassmen and chows down on at least two bowls of rice during break time. The most annoying part about him is how Haibara seems to get along so well with you.

You laugh too loudly for Nanami’s liking at his jokes, squeeze in between Haibara and him (brushing shoulders with the both of them! Seriously!) when they’re standing together just to listen in on Haibara’s monologuing, and sometimes even end up sparring with him instead of Nanami.

The blond curses that there is an odd number of first years and peers in the mirror after his shower as he wonders what he would look like with a black bowl cut. He even tries to finish more than one serving of ginger pork on one particular day and gets sent to the school nurse for a tummy ache.

Though, the three of you have chemistry that works out when fighting curses. Nanami is the primary damage dealer of the group, while you learn how to provide support with Haibara and create openings for Nanami to attack. So on your first ‘real group mission’ assigned to you by Yaga, you can’t help but set off with overflowing excitement.

It isn’t often that you have the opportunity to step outside of Jujutsu High on your own without supervision. Even on weekends, you’re usually expected to train or study. The sun shines warmly down upon the streets of Asakusa, and tourists and locals alike swarm the city area.

“Hey! We should totally give Sensou-ji Temple a visit later!” Haibara suggests, pumping his fist in the air.

“We’re not here to sightsee,” Nanami sighs.

“That’s what you said the last time we went to Okinawa, and guess what, Nanamin! We didn’t even get to try their sushi!”

“Yeah, and you forgot to bring back souvenirs for me, Ken-chan,” you chime in.

“I told you to stop adding -chan to my name.”

“Why not? Doesn’t it sound cute?”

“Mhm!”

Haibara nods furiously. Nanami ignores the both of you with a sigh. He slings a bag containing his sword over his shoulder once more as the crowd barely makes space for you to move through.

“We can’t take too long,” he relents.

The cheers and high-fives that you and Haibara give each other make a vein bulge on Nanami’s temple. He tries not to read too much into the way you immediately begin discussing what places to visit and eat at with Haibara — didn’t you care for his opinion? He shakes his head and increases his pace, leaving the both of you behind.

Nanami ignores the cries of ‘Ken-chan!’ and ‘Nanamin!’ that ring out through the crowd. Whatever. If you want to be with Haibara, then Nanami will gladly get out of the way for you. He drags his feet on the pavement and settles for a cup of iced tea in a nearby cafe gloomily.

What Nanami is doing is… childish. He knows, at the very least, that he should be happy the both of you have met a nice new friend. But he can’t help the jealousy that rises in his chest like smoke in a chimney when he sees you cling onto Haibara the same way you used to do to him.

Was Haibara nicer, more good-looking, stronger, funnier, gentler, better than every single trait in Nanami combined? You no longer ask Nanami how he slept the previous night, instead running over to Haibara and greeting him cheerily. Forget about how you used to come over to Nanami’s house to study after school — you and Haibara disappear to who knows where after training everyday.

He bites down on his straw. The bitter taste of a lemon seed fills his mouth and Nanami spits it out onto a napkin with more force than necessary. He takes a deep breath. He should make things clear to you, then, and let you know how he feels about you. To him, it sounds a little like love.

Nanami’s face flushes with embarrassment. Love is… Love isn’t this. It definitely isn’t getting jealous over your relationships with other people, nor is it forcing you to accept his feelings out of spite. He finishes the last bit of his iced tea, the straw making a gurgling noise as it fails to suck up any more liquid. He leaves his money by the counter and walks back outside, returning his heart back to its safe, clicking the lock shut once more. His shoulders sag as he lets out a pent-up sigh.

Nanami squints at his phone. The golden sunlight makes it difficult to read his messages, but he manages to pick out four missed calls from you and a hundred text messages from Haibara. His blood runs cold when he scrolls to the last text that he received.

Haibara Yu, 4.25p.m.: curse help 6 cho

It’s currently 4.35p.m. 6-chome is a 15 minutes walk away, five minutes if he sprints fast enough. Nanami hopes that you’re okay, that Haibara has enough sense to call for other back-up or avoid the curse.

Nanami’s feet pound under him as he shoves his way through the crowds, earning distasteful looks and swears. He doesn’t care. Not when you and Haibara are facing a possible grade 2 curse alone, and not when it’s because of Nanami’s irresponsibility and useless emotions that had caused the three of you to be separated.

His breath comes quick and hard and his thighs burn, screaming for relief. He makes a sharp turn and almost crashes into a bicycle.

“Watch where you’re going!” an angry housewife yells, but her words fall on deaf ears.

Just a little more, he begs.

Nanami hears the fighting before he sees it. The sound of metal meeting metal and the roar of the curse sound uncharacteristically comforting to him as he draws his sword, racing to bear a fighting stance.

But he’s too late.

“Yu!” you cry out as Haibara crumples onto the ground.

His eyes meet Nanami’s. His uniform is tattered, face bearing wounds and his right arm is bent at an unnatural shape, almost like a knotted tree branch. You seem relatively unhurt, although your breathing is laboured.

“Kento,” Haibara wheezes.

Nanami’s feet don’t move. His chest heaves, perspiration pouring down his face and drenching his uniform. The grip on his sword slips ever so slightly. The curse stands at the end of a ruined district. You aren’t trained to fight in such close quarters, or reduce the number of casualties to a bare minimum.

And Nanami hadn’t been here to provide damage to exorcise it.

“Who are you? Another small fry?” the curse scoffs.

It takes the body of a geisha, dressed in luxurious robes that whip about in the air. Consciousness? This isn’t a grade 2 by any means — it’s a special grade curse. The will to fight slips out of Nanami like water from a cup, trickling from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

“Haibara!” Nanami shouts.

The male gives Nanami one last smile from where he is.

“You’ve got it from here,” he whispers, lips barely moving.

The geisha stretches out its hand, a portion of its obi moving along with it. You and Nanami watch in horror as Haibara’s head is neatly decapitated from his body. His blood drips off of the ends of the robes as the curse cackles, his head rolling to a stop as his half-closed eyes stare up at Nanami like a dead fish’s.

“You think you can beat me? Look at your little friend!”

Fury rushes into Nanami like a wave meeting the shore.

“You’ll die here by my hands!” the curse roars.

You take a step back as the geisha prepares to launch another attack, silk sashes drawn back into the sky before they plunge back at you two in an aerial attack. Nanami leaps through the attacks as his body moves faster than he can process it.

You, on the other hand, create a shield out of cursed energy to try and deflect the attacks. At the very least, Haibara deserves a proper burial. There isn’t time for mourning now, and you have to wipe away the tears that pool in your eyes. You try to ignore the way his head rolls closer to your foot and bumps against it gently.

Nanami lets out a yell of anger. His cursed energy swells as he cuts his way through the sashes, movement based on momentum than anything else at this point. His mind is clouded with regret and frustration. Nanami channels his anger into his sword, the ten destined lines appearing before his eyes once more.

The curse lets out a cry of pain as it stumbles back, sashes redrawn as it tries to gauge its wounds. Blood gushes from a slash on its side and Nanami darts forward again — again, again, again, until its dead. His legs, however, are weaker than what he thinks they can bear. Nanami stumbles in his step.

“Ken!” you shout.

The curse grins. It takes little to no time to regenerate, skin overlapping raw flesh as it gets back onto its feet.

“You’re weak,” it taunts. “First your friend, now you. I’ll be sure to savour the last one as well!”

Nanami struggles to get back onto his feet. He gasps, heart ripping a hole through his chest. He’s so exhausted; so worn out, that his arms refuse to raise his sword above chest height. He curses.

You run over to Nanami, grabbing his uniform and dragging him back. The curse starts to chant ominously. Its face turns dark, taking steps that sway its body with thick, lacquered geta. You shove Nanami back as you’re engulfed by its domain, swallowed up by darkness and spit into a tatami room. He barely has time to call your name before you disappear.

“Shit!”

Nanami stumbles back onto his feet, but sinks down onto his knees again. His shoulders quake as he tries to suck in breaths of air, but his throat is too dry. He coughs and adjusts his grip on his sword. Shit, shit, shit. All of his partners tossed themselves at death as if it was an idle thing just to protect him. What was Nanami doing? He would never become a sorcerer like this, never be able to protect you.

He grits his teeth. He’ll never be enough.

Nanami picks up his sword, wrapping his fingers around its hilt one more time. He dashes towards the domain, tasting iron as he hacks and slashes at it. Again, again, and again. His hands turn numb and his cursed energy flickers like a candle’s flame, but there’s one thing Nanami’s insistent on — getting you out of there.

The domain finally collapses as Nanami finally steadies himself on his feet. You roll to the ground, breath shallow. Your uniform is sliced up in different areas and a pool of blood begins to spread where your head meets the floor.

“Ken…?” you whisper.

Nanami smells it — the scent of death. Why did he ever choose to become a sorcerer over an ordinary high school life? He wouldn’t have dragged you into this mess, caused you to be hurt time and time again. Nanami calls out your name tentatively. You don’t respond.

The curse roars with laughter as your eyes fall shut, “Don’t you see how I’m so strong? You’re nothing compared to me-”

Nanami sees red. He launches himself forward, brandishing his sword even if it’s for the last time.

He doesn’t remember what happens afterwards.

Nanami sinks into a pool of blood, head spinning with exertion. Your body lays to his left, Haibara’s head to his right. He collapses to the ground.

☆*: .｡.

When he comes to, Nanami’s eyes struggle to adjust to the white light that floods the room. It smells vaguely like antiseptic. He slowly sits up, body aching with exhaustion with telltale bandages wrapped around most of his exposed limbs.

A drawn curtain separates his bed from the rest of the room, which he assumes to be Jujutsu Tech’s sickbay. He runs a hand over his face and lies back down, letting sleep take him by the hand and lead him a step further from reality.

Nanami wakes up a second time when Shouko returns to the room. He stares at her, blinking once, then twice.

“Nanami?” she asks softly. “Can you hear me?”

He tries to reply, but his throat is parched. He ends up coughing, wrinkling his face as pain spreads through his ribs. Shouko rushes to get him a glass of water and calls the rest (namely Yaga and Gojo) over. Nanami nurses the glass as Yaga takes a seat by his bed.

There are no questions, only condolences and murmured explanations of what had happened. The only thing Nanami picks up is that you’re alive. That’s more than enough for him to relax, nodding dumbly along to Yaga’s words.

The curse had been on the brink of death when Nanami collapsed. However, he had put up enough of a fight for nearby sorcerers to come to his aid and finish it off. There was no doubt about it — it was a special grade curse. Yaga apologises for the miscommunication and loss of Haibara’s life. Nanami doesn’t reply.

No amount of apologies could turn back time and bring Haibara back.

It takes him a few more days before Nanami’s able to hobble around the school, aided by crutches. Gojo pokes fun at how he seems like a grandpa but even his jokes don’t bear the mean edge they usually do. Getou leaves a can of vending machine coffee by his bedside table and Shouko brings him some wildflowers. Nanami leaves the plush cat Yaga had made for him untouched.

Nanami struggles against the nightmares that plague him. In one Haibara cradles his decapitated head in his own arms, asking Nanami why he hadn’t saved his life; in another you die, guts spilling onto the streets with your eyes bulging from your skull. Nanami wakes up in cold sweat. He calms his breathing alone and doesn’t sleep a single wink.

It’s a rainy day when Shouko lets him enter the morgue. Haibara’s body is laid in a shroud of white, his head positioned to appear attached. Had he ever been so pale? Nanami’s fingers grip his crutches, gritting his teeth.

How long his eyelashes had been! A small scar runs down his left temple (“After my sister shoved me in the playground!” Haibara had chirped), and his bangs remain as perfectly cut as they had been when he died. Nanami half expects him to sit up, to grin and laugh at his twisted face.

“Why’re you so stiff, Nanami? It’s just a joke!”

Justajokejustajokejustajoke.

A chasm opens up in Nanami’s stomach. His crutches clatter to the floor as he races out of the morgue, stumbling when pain shoots up his right leg. He retches dryly and tears pool in his eyes. Shouko silently covers Haibara and closes the door, Nanami’s tears falling alongside the pouring rain.

That night in his dreams, Haibara slices Nanami’s head off. He wakes up with his heart racing and tears slipping down his cheeks.

Nanami visits you the next day. He had been reluctant to do so — what if you blamed him for everything, for Haibara’s death and your injuries? He wouldn’t be able to bear it, to be hated by you. His hand hovers over your dorm doorknob, hesitating. Nanami takes a deep breath as he swallows his anxiety and opens the door.

It’s as if nothing had ever happened.

You sit on your bed, neatly tucked under the covers with a book sitting on your lap. Warm sunshine pours through the open windows and the penguin plush Nanami had won for you at a festival still sits by your desk. You look up when he walks in.

Nanami calls out your name. You stare at him.

“Sorry, but… Who are you?” you ask quietly, a sense of confusion lacing your words.

He stops by the door and Nanami’s heart sinks to his feet.

“I’m Kento. Nanami Kento,” he repeats, words tasting like ash in his mouth.

Checkered curtains flutter in the wind and the pages of your book butterfly open to an unread chapter. You keep your eyes focused on Nanami, eyebrows slightly furrowed in confusion.

“I don’t know anyone by that name,” you reply.

☆*: .｡.

A toxic mix of trauma and a severe head injury had caused your amnesia. Nanami lays in bed at night, staring up at the ceiling. If only he hadn’t let his emotions overtake him, if only he had been there a minute earlier, if only if only if only. Regret dulls his sense of taste and emotions. He no longer takes joy in eating anything (even those croissants Getou had bought while out on a mission), nor does he even crack a smile at Gojo’s antics.

Nanami returns to training once he is physically well again. He becomes the only first-year to attend Yaga’s classes, sparring practice conducted with the second years. He goes out on missions alone and learns to provide both defense and offense for himself. Nanami trains, he exercises curses, he returns to school. He repeats this same cycle mindlessly over and over again.

Time heals, they say. Nanami wonders how much time it must take for him to let go of everything.

Nanami learns to hide his disappointment. His face becomes a strong facade for whatever his weak heart truly feels. The quiet sigh he lets out when no one’s around, the stretching of his neck after yet another fruitless day of training — Nanami decides that he’ll leave the world of sorcery once he’s graduated.

Seasons change and Nanami becomes a second year, then a third year. Getou falls away. The seniors graduate and new freshmen enter the school. Nanami keeps these things in the back of his mind as he raises his sword for a countless time, striking the training doll with ease.

You work with Shouko in the infirmary, occasionally helping out with office work. The school had deemed it better to keep you under their care than to release you outside. Like a rehabilitated animal, Nanami thinks.

You still remember no memories of him. Nanami brings you sweets and souvenirs from his missions, letting you trace your fingers over the fancy packaging with a sparkle in your eye. At this, Nanami swallows back his confession of love once more. He can’t bear to burden you with his feelings.

You form new impressions of him. Nanami turns into the stone-faced and adorable boy who treats you like fine China, always sticking his hands out awkwardly when he tries to give you something. The tips of his ears burn red when he lies — especially when you ask him, “Nanami, did you buy this for me?” and he shakes his head furiously.

You think he’s kind. He comforts you when you cry over lost memories, unable to remember the faces in photographs that had once been so familiar. The first thing Nanami does after returning from a mission is to rush to you. Were you okay? Did you have your meals? One time, he came over without getting his injuries checked and collapsed by your feet. You scolded him after that, tenderly dressing his wounds.

“Nanami!” you said crossly, a pout on your face.

He tries to forget how he had asked you to stop calling him ‘Ken-chan’. He ducks his head, hissing when you douse his skin in antiseptic.

Some things don’t change, though. You still keep your pencil box immaculately neat — the tips of your stationery always pointing to the right side. Though you don’t have any more movie ticket stubs, you carefully clip the pictures of your childhood Nanami had given to you together and keep them under your pillow.

One day, you munch on a yummy biscuit Nanami brought back for you. He sits on the floor and polishes his sword, peering at it from every angle to make sure it’s evenly oiled.

“Nanami?”

He hums.

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like you’re from an emo boy band? Your hair matches it.”

Your shy laugh rings out in the room as bile rises in Nanami’s throat. He sheathes his sword and lays it on the ground.

“Yes, they have.”

He struggles to smile, his gut twisting.

☆*: .｡.

On graduation day, no one else but Nanami receives his certificate with a flower corsage pinned to his chest. The room is empty save for him and Yaga, the chirping of spring birds breaking the silence.

“I’m glad to have been able to teach you, Nanami,” Yaga broods. “You’ve grown a lot.”

Nanami does not reply. He bows deeply and strides out of the main building. All of a sudden, the traditional architecture and nature that surround Jujutsu High seems stifling. His skin crawls with the urge to leave as soon as possible.

“Nanamin!”

He jumps. Turning around, he finds you grinning happily with a bouquet of flowers in hand.

“Congratulations on your graduation!” you chirp.

Nanami accepts the flowers awkwardly and rests them in the crook of his elbow, his other hand clutching his certificate. A gentle breeze rustles the leaves of nearby trees and a wave of sakura petals descend from their branches like rain.

“Nanamin,” your voice grows softer. “Are you leaving forever?”

He swallows, then nods wordlessly.

“Will I ever see you again?”

“I wanna be with you forever, Ken-chan!” you wailed.

“Forever’s a long time,” Nanami replied.

He handed you his yellow cotton handkerchief, face wrinkling when you honked your nose into it. Gross. His neck hurt from sticking it out of the car window. He can hear his father tapping a finger onto the wheel impatiently, his mother silent as she stares out the front.

“B-but!”

Your bottom lip quivered and Nanami let out a sigh.

“Fine, fine. I’ll be with you, okay?”

“Really, Ken-chan? Forever?”

“Yeah, really. Forever.”

You grinned in the waning sunlight as your mother tugged you away.

“I’ll never forget you, Ken-chan!” you shouted.

The car window rolled up and he watched you disappear into the horizon, turning as tiny as an ant.

Nanami swallows his heart into the pit of his stomach.

“Probably.”

“That’s not a definitive answer, Nanamin.”

“What do you want me to tell you, then?”

There’s a slight tremble in his voice. The plastic wrapping of the flowers crinkle under his grip and waves of emotions rush over him; the biggest out of all of them regret. He struggles to breathe underwater, keeping his eyes squeezed shut and nose plugged up. A sakura petal lands on his shoulder. He doesn’t bother brushing it away.

“Say,” you whisper, taking a step to close the distance between Nanami and you.

He gulps as you place a hand upon his chest. He can feel the heat of your skin through his uniform and Nanami’s too dumbstruck to respond.

“Why don’t you give me your second button?”

Your eyes meet his. A smile toys with the corners of his lips and suddenly Nanami blurts out a nervous “Okay.”. His mind flickers back to Haibara momentarily; how you had appeared to like him so much back then. But he chooses to shove those memories into the back of his mind once more as you produce a small pair of scissors and snip the thread.

“You always take care of me, Nanamin. It was natural of me to fall in love with you,” you breathe, cradling the swirl patterned button in your hands.

A gust of cool air slips into his unbuttoned shirt and Nanami’s breath hitches.

“Do you like me too?”

Your question is innocent. With the way you peer up at him, there’s no way that Nanami can lie. Your glittery eyes were the same ones he had fallen in love with all those years ago. He wonders if he still loves you in the same way as he did then; as faultless and innocent it had been. His heart sits on the tip of his tongue.

“Yeah, I do.”

Your eyes crinkle at the edges as you smile, an evident sigh of relief escaping your lips. You slip the button into your pocket before tugging Nanami even closer towards you. He yelps as your chest presses against his and the tips of his ears turn red.

You plant your lips by the side of his.

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen fic #jjk fic #nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento fluff #nanami kento angst #nanami kento fic #nanami x reader #nanami angst #nanami fluff #nanami fic #jjk nanami #jjkmagsummer

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zephyr-thedragon · 3 years ago

Text

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH ITS KAIDER WEEK, I was so hyped for all of August but then school started and all my energy just went right out the window jhfgjg. But I am so excited to share this duet with you all-

CINDER X KAI (AUGUST 23-AUGUST 29) TLC ship weeks 2021 (ALL PROMPTS)

SO- The reason this is coming before the wolflet duet is because I already had like half of this song written about a month ago and all I needed to do was finish it, but the wolflet duet is still coming I promise. So this song takes place when Cinder and Kai are still on the Rampion in between Cress and Winter. Kai is about to go back to Earth and they both acknowledge the fact that they need to get their plan moving and in order to do that he needs to leave and all of that good angsty stuff. I'm pretty sure I included all of the prompts for this week? Besides maybe change the universe? But I realllyyyy love this song and it's my favorite that I've written for TLC so far, tysm for reading!!!! I hope you all enjoy <333

So the system for reading this one is pretty self-explanatory hrghjf, there aren't any overlapping lines or anything and you can use the same four chords throughout the whole song, but feel free to improvise and just sort do whatever! I had a lot of fun just playing round with different chords and tunes so- yeah :) just have fun!

In Another Life - Cinder and Kai

An original Kaider duet

(Piano chords at the bottom cause they're kind of complicated fjgh)

‎

[Kai] - Verse 1

The journey of us is unrelenting

Cause we can’t see past the world ending

‎

But I hope on the other side it’s a

Little less expending‎

‎

[Cinder]

Don’t know if I can live this way much longer

But you’ve always made me stronger

‎

[Both]

If we just wait it out we’ll conquer

The world and start avenging

‎

[Cinder]

I try

To be the person that you want

‎

[Kai]

I try

To do my best but I can’t when I’m gone

‎

[Both]

I wish

We could see past all the flaws, and the wrongs, and the cracks in the walls

‎

[Kai]

But if it's not too much to ask

Would you mind joining me in the past

In my daydreams, my nightmares

My fantasies and fatal scares,

[Both]

If we could pretend for the night

‎

[Both] - Chorus

In another life

We could’ve been fighting off crime

The modern Bonnie and Clyde

We could’ve been rulers of the divine

An Imperial husband and wife

‎

We could’ve left this curse behind

We could’ve been intertwined

By fate

And destiny

‎

[Cinder]

But instead, I take flight

With the wings you gave me

And the promises you made

[Both]

In hopes that someday

‎

We can live that way

As if in another life

In another life

‎

(Life, Life)

(Ohh, Ohh)

(Life, Life)

(Ohh, Ohh)

‎

[Cinder] - Verse 2

The journey of us has barely taken shape

But I can’t escape

The metal walls around me

‎

[Kai]

I like it up here in space

Its an oasis

From the chaos on the ground but I feel like I’m

Suffocating

‎

[Cinder]

The world can’t wait much longer

‎

[Kai]

I need to leave but I love her

‎

[Both]

There's no stopping this black hole

Forming in between us and our end goal

‎

I know

You know

That it’s time to let it go

‎

But I can’t leave you

I can’t wait to see you

(Pause)

Again

‎‎

[Both] - Chorus

In another life

We could’ve been fighting off crime

The modern Bonnie and Clyde

We could’ve been rulers of the divine

An Imperial husband and wife

‎

We could’ve left this curse behind

We could’ve been intertwined

By fate

And destiny

‎

But instead, I take flight

With the wings you gave me

And the promises you made

In hopes that someday

‎

We can live that way

As if in another life

In another life

‎

‎[Cinder] - Bridge(?)

With time comes change

There’s no more waiting

I hate to listen

To what they’re saying

‎

I’m afraid

The game we’re playing

Will fracture the bond

We’ve spent so much maintaining

‎

[Kai]

When I’m away

I won’t be very far

Just sit in silence

And listen to your heart

‎

And find a way

To ignite that spark

And remember the mountains we’ve climbed so far

We’ve climbed so far

‎

‎[Kai] - Pre-Chorus/Build up

In another life

I’d be wherever you are

‎

[Cinder]

In another life

It wouldn’t be this bizarre

‎

In another life, I’d choose not to be a star

‎

[Kai]

In another life, I could live without this scar

‎‎

[Both] - Chorus

In another life

‎

We could’ve been fighting off crime

The modern Bonnie and Clyde

We could’ve been rulers of the divine

An Imperial husband and wife

‎

We could’ve left this curse behind

We could’ve been intertwined

By fate

And destiny

‎

But instead, I take flight

With the wings you gave me

And the promises you made

In hopes that someday

‎

We can live that way

As if in another life

In another life

‎

(Life, Life)

(Ohh, Ohh)

(Life, Life)

(Ohh)

In another life

(Life, Life)

(Ohh, Ohh)

(Life, Life)

(Ohh)

(Fade out)

===========================

‎

‎Piano Chords:

ok so for the first chord, I have yet to find a name for it but basically it's Fsus4 but put your third finger on the D key instead of the C key it should look like this:

And then it's just F major, Dm, C major :)

okay thats all, if you made it to the end hiiiiii!!! I hope you enjoyed thank you for reading!

tag list: @sexy-dumpster-fire @cerenoya @just2bubbly@nightmare-not-neophyte @gingerale2017 @winterrhayle @salt-warrior @cindersassasin @cinderswrench @shelbylmkaider @razzmooncake @greasicookies @healing-winston-pratt @f-r-o-p @miss-casually-cruel @of-stars-and-ships @strawberry-seraph @thestarryeyedsapphic @genyasafingf @starry-tea-party @im-just-your-problem @novannna @sapphiccitra

#the lunar chronicles #kaider #linh cinder #prince kai #prince kaito #the tlc musical #tlc #marissa meyer #the lunar chronicles fandom #tlc ship weeks 2021 #mine

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battle-of-roses · 3 years ago

Text

When Rome Burns : Part 1

TW : Logan Roy's A+ Parenting, Manipulative Logan

By @your-gay-cousin-clover

---

With a certain hint of trepidation, Tom starts dressing himself to meet up with Shiv in downtown New York. The plan was pretty simple for the day: meet up with Shiv, find a gift for her father, put on his best Midwest honourable fellow personality and charm the pants of all her family. He stopped for a moment in the middle of his bedroom, standing there in his white button up, boxers and black socks, biting his lip on whether to take the gold ring, he’d picked out a week ago, to the party. After all this time he had spent with her, ever since their whirlwind romance in Hong Kong, he was sure that she was the one for him. His soulmate, the-one-who-he-got, his loml. The question was of when?

The party would be a good place to propose. Lavish surroundings, her entire family, and a pretty pricey ring to show his commitment to her. All eggs in your basket, he’d say if- when she said yes. And it would all be fine and okay. He starts to daydream for a moment, his dreams flying higher than just becoming Logan Roy’s son-in-law, maybe he’d join in the business himself. He would swoop in, take over one of the main branches of Royco, maybe ATN and continue the family business until he had his own billionaire kids à la Shiv.

Beep! Beep!

His fantasies suddenly dashed down into the floor. He jerks and reaches to the phone on the table to receive the call. It’s Shiv.

“Hey honeybee,” he says in a sweet-syrupy tone that he hoped conveyed his affections accordingly.

“Where are you?”

He immediately frowns. Her tone is clipped sharp, a razor’s edge, threatening him to not speak a word off their usual script.

“I’m … ahh… just getting dressed. Oh, oh, how formal is the even supposed to be? Do you think I could sneak in a tartan tie pattern to impress your Dad?” He tries to detract from her irritation.

“The fuck, Tom? Don’t be silly. Just wear whatever you want, you’re not a pre-schooler. It’s a formal event, but don’t wear anything weird or embarrassing.” Her words just kick up a latent anger in him that he press down as per usual. It’s alright, maybe it’s her job that’s got her stressed.

He tries another jovial voice for a size. “Ok, love-,” he continues, but there’s no Shiv on the other side of the call. Just him and the dial tone mocking him.

Right.

Nothing weird or embarrassing.

He drops the ring into a drawer of his bedside table and shuts it close.

—

The day goes in its own pace and Shiv makes a hasty apology about her signal getting dropped in the elevator. He waves it off, he always goes. There’s no use holding on a grudge with his future-wife-to-be, on silly things like one too many passive aggressive words and brushed off endearments. And so, here he is now. Standing in the middle of an opulent penthouse living room, chatting pleasantries with Marcia, hands sweaty as he tightens his grasp on the gilded box with the watch.

It had been pretty expensive to purchase on his own. He and Shiv were comfortable, sure. But they - no, he wasn’t Olympus rich like the Roys, America’s number one conservative messiah. He hopes it’s enough. Enough for a job at ATN, enough for Shiv, above all, enough for Logan.

His fucking future hung on a balance because of a little ticking metal machine.

Ding!

There. The elevator’s number stuck still on their current floor and his breathing picks up. Everyone else collects around the door to waiting as the metal door open, but he stands back, alone. For a split second, he’s swallowed up in all the gold, gild and glamour around him and he simply can’t breathe.

He sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of all this. No matter how brave, how much of a fucking asshole he pretends to be. He does not deserve to be here. He’s what? Got a few hundred thousand in his savings, while collectively in front of him stands the 3rd richest family in America. He just wants to bolt and never come back.

And in the same fleeting moment, the doubt hastily vaporises as Logan Roy himself steps into the view amidst loud yells of “Happy Birthday!”.

The moment he sees Logan, it’s something of oh, that echoes in his head. Like oh, he’s just an old man. And he indeed looks frazzled, startled by the sudden cheers. But he whispers something to Marcia, who takes his coat and hands it off to one of the numerous maids hurrying around the house.

And then he straightens up to face the crowd. There’s something in his eyes that makes Tom want to shrink back against the patterned wallpaper. Something fierce, something very calculating. He watches as Logan makes his way through the crowd of his children and nods absent-mindedly at everyone’s greetings.

“Shiv,” Logan says, turning to Shiv, his back to Tom “Where’s Wambsgans? I thought we invited him.”

Shiv’s expression falters for a second, perhaps debating whether her father’s joking or not. It’s clear, he’s not, when the beat of silence extends between them. She smiles back again, radiant. And gosh, Tom loves her so much.

“He’s behind you, Dad!”

Tom didn’t have much time to be mortified as Logan turned to him and stuck his hand out to shake. Awkwardly balancing his watch box on one hand, Tom tries to make grip firm and solid. Logan gives him two shakes and quickly removes his hand.

“Wambsgans, you’ve got a strong grip. Trying to break an old man’s hand, eh?”

Fuck. Of course, Logan Roy would be above all masculine handshaking bullshit that the Wall Street posers were really into. Logan knew he was the king of the world, didn’t need to prove it to any Tom-Dick-Harry on the street.

Logan’s already turning away from him, but Tom tries to swallow his foot down the throat trying not to make his first impression even worst. He lets out a laugh, but winces internally. Too braying, too harsh, too corny.

“Well, you’re not that weak, Mr Roy-“ He tries. He does. But Shiv already looks disappointed and Logan’s barely listening to him. His time to prove himself is running out.

Ding!

Everyone turns to look at the elevator again. Kendall Roy steps out the lift with his ex-wife and children in tow. He’s wearing that same black blue outfit combo, just like the one on Forbes, proudly declaring him as the HEIR WITH THE FLAIR. Tom has read Kendall’s entire wikipedia enough times to know that the stress marks and the lack of the photogenic smile was simply because of his age.

Drugs - Divorce - Demotion.

Yet like every American hero billionaire, Kendall got the second chance that could only be afforded to the rich and now, most probably, he was going to the Successor to the entire media conglomerate. Even then, Tom wouldn’t say that he exactly envies the other man.

“Ken!” Logan’s voice somehow sounds surprised as well as disappointed. “I didn’t think you’d come. Did we close the Vaulter deal?”

Kendall’s stance becomes a bit wooden as he reaches down to accept his father’s embrace. His ex turns to Marcia and hands off a wrapped box with a pleasant smile. The kids run off with Grace’s kid and Kendall stands there looking a bit unsettled as he answers “oh, no, no Dad. They’re still hammering out the details. I took a break to wish you on your birthday. Not sure how many more there might be.” The conversation mills a bit around the two, everyone leans in a bit to hear.

“You did?” Logan repeats with furrowed brows. “Well, where’s your cousin? I thought he’d rather come than you.”

Kendall looks taken aback for a moment. Everyone tries another round of conversation, but Tom simply nods along to other’s words as he tries to figure out information about the cousin. A cousin? Shiv’s never mentioned a cousin being involved in … well, anything.

“Greg?” Kendall asks, his voice uncertain. Logan looks him in the eye and shares a sardonic grin. “Yes, Greg. Unless Marianne happened to suddenly stop by. What’s he doing? Wasn’t he with you this morning?”

Kendall seems to shrink into himself under his father’s gaze. “Greg’s..” he starts and stops for a moment. “Greg’s with the team in the building. He wanted to finish the deal before joining the party.”

“Shame.” Logan says, “But good for him, as soon as we wrap up this deal the better. Anyway, kids, can I talk to you alone for a moment? I just want you to sign something.”

All of them exchange glances with each other, the meaning of which Tom is too novel to understand. All of them quietly follow in the steps of their father. The rest of them stare.

“So,” Marcia says, clapping her hands together. The sound echoes in the eerie silence devoid of birthday wishes. “Let’s get started on lunch shall we?”

—

On the way to the “game” which was highly requested in a cult-like chanting, Tom abruptly turns to Shiv and asks “I didn’t know you had cousin working at Waystar?”

She ceases typing on her phone and looks up with pinched brows, seemingly in thought. Tom watches the city go by in a blur from Shiv’s side of the window and waits. “

“Oh,” She says “You mean Greg? Yeah, he’s like my second cousin. Uncle Ewan’s only grandson, although I don’t think he’s seen them since he was ten? He’s chief strategist at Royco. You’ll see him soon enough when you join.”

A when, not an if. And immediately, Tom’s heart lifts. He fights a grin on his face and catches Shiv’s eye. She smiles a bit, the stress from her face falling away for a second and turns back to her phone.

All was well.

—

All was not well.

Tom kind of looks like an idiot. At least in his own head, he’s been lugging around the watch box the entire evening. Right now, he’s standing behind Logan and Shiv like an obedient puppy waiting for Shiv to call upon him. The rest of the family is setting up the baseball game while the groundskeepers looking on fascinated.

Tom pretty much feels like them.

“So, about Tom,” Shiv says and Logan seems to be considering her words. Tom’s ears pick up, his hands turn sweaty again and he fidgets with the box in his hands. He imagines he can hear the watch tick inside like a time bomb.

“Hmm…” Logan replies, peering out into the distance. Kendall’s already gone into the wind, about half-an-hour ago, his ear glued to the phone talking to “Greg”. Tom waits for that syllable to end and simply waits.

“What do you think about putting him under Greg?”

Despite the short distance between him and the duo, he hears an undercurrent of something sinister his way. Something almost amusingly cruel.

“Wh-why Greg? Isn’t that - like isn’t he already busy with the buyings and everything else? And surely you don’t expect Tom to be his assistant? He’s much more experienced in business.” Shiv’s protest add a bit of tension to his mind.

What was the deal with this Greg? It was almost as if he was some kind of a boogeyman to Shiv and her siblings. But someone that Logan clearly approved of, but there was something very odd about the whole missing cousin.

It was as if being put under the cousin would somehow be bad for him. Geez, was he some kind of a hardass?

“No, no. I’m sure Greg’s not to busy to welcome your boyfriend into the family business. He can help guide Tom and put him in a fitting department. Not to busy to help family.”

Tom expects Shiv to say something. To put off Logan’s plan and for a moment, she does. But instead, she stops and frowns.

A beat.

Tom takes it as his cue to step in with the box.

This better work.

—

#ficlet #part 1 #When Rome Burns #WIP #writing wip #tomgreg #tom x greg #Greg Hirsch #Cousin Greg #Tom Wambsgans #partial Tomshiv #Succession #Succession HBO #alternate universe #AU

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yonymii · 4 years ago

Text

the spotlight suits you

a/n: ok uhh if you don’t think you’re a good singer then plz pretend you are for this <3 thank u 💖 also this is incredibly self-indulgent so the reader’s personality and talents mirror my own a lot lmao im sorry

the song i imagined the reader singing was my favourite song ‘maybe it’s not our fault’ by yerin baek.

warnings: brief mentions of death (from natural causes),

pairing: Akaashi Keiji x gn!musician!reader

the moment the warm yellow lights of the stage hit your face, the erratic beating of your heart slowed and you were no longer dizzy. the stage felt like home to you, when everyone could see you and when you knew they were their to hear you, to hear your music. the prospect of people enjoying your songs filled your heart with joy, and your smile grew a little at the thought.

the mic was sat on top of two pieces of duct tape that had been stuck down in an ‘x’ shape, marking the center of the stage. your shoes clicked against the wood as you appraoched it, hands clenched into fists in anticipation.

because of the spotlights, the faces of your audience were barely recognisable. you assumed that a few of your old classmates would be there, though, because you knew they’d always frequented this place. before you moved to miyagi from tokyo, you’d attended fururodani high and had been good friends with akaashi keiji, the setter and vice-captain of the school’s volleyball team. you had been classmates since middle school and had similar interests, so it was only natural you were a good match for each other.

but after your grandmother who you’d been living with ever since your single mother died passed, you had to move to miyagi prefecture to live with your uncle and cousins. as much as you were fond of the small family, you felt as if you weren’t valued and often holed yourself up in your room due to grief over your grandma.

while you were in your room, you’d practiced piano over and over until your fingers ached from all the playing and there were blisters on the sides of your thumbs. you’d written notebooks full of songs and on the wall next to your single bed there was a corkboard completely covered over in sheet music and lyrics so you couldn’t see the brown material underneath it. as much as you’d always loved music, (you’d played piano since you were a small child), you never really wrote that many songs; the overwhelming emotions of losing someone important to you changed that in the blink of an eye.

when you left tokyo, you didn’t say anything to akaashi. you were second years in high school at the time, and the bus had actually stopped outside of your school on the way to miyagi. from where it had pulled over, you could see into the gym, where keiji was setting a volleyball for bokuto, the captain of the team. you’d nearly burst into tears at the sight of him. how could you possibly lose the two most important figures in your life in the span of a few days and not be sad?

of course you had his number and social media, but in a blind fit of rage after being scolded by your aunt for shouting at her baby and then bursting into tears from the overflowing sadness at your situation, you’d thrown your already failing phone at the wall and it had shattered; you’d been sent to your bedroom for the remainder of the night for causing a mess and upsetting the six-month-old child sat by you, and you’d just sat at the keyboard your grandmother had bought you that year as a birthday gift and played and played until the early hours of the morning, hot tears spilling over your waterline and making it hard to read the music. it was a beautiful instrument; the keys were weighted and touch-sensetive like a real piano and it was glossy black. there were few buttons thankfully, headphones for privacy, and the pedals underneath it were golden. it was one of your prized possesions. you didn’t let anyone touch it.

the moment your pre-recorded backing track started up, all eyes were on you; the notes and effects all melted together and your voice sounded like honey; it was sweet and the lyrics were surpisingly sad for the tone of the music but it was still lovely to listen to. akaashi was hooked before he even realised it was you.

but when he did he couldn’t take his eyes off of you; in terms of your appearance, you’d matured a lot. seeing you back in tokyo after 5 years was suprising, but he’d known about your love of music. he just didn’t know you’d gone far enough to get a gig at somewhere as popular as this place.

you, on the other hand, couldn’t see akaashi. the audience was audibly singing along by the second chorus, and when you finished the song, the applause was loud. you sang four songs, each one a little more enthusiastically performed than the others until it was your queue to leave the stage and go home to your small apartment in the center of tokyo to prepare for the gig you had at a bar the next night. you bowed, waving happily at the audience despite not being able to see them clearly, and departed, skipping down the wooden stairs and humming your opening song quietly since your voice needed to re-generate for your next performance.

someone tapped your shoulder and pointed to the door where a man stood facing the other way. to you, he looked familiar, but you couldn’t quite put finger on who he was exactly. the staff member smiled at you as you wandered over towards the man and went the other direction, ushering the next act onto the stage. the back door was open and there was a cool breeze flowing through the room, momentary twangs of guitars and basses breaking the silence until the faint music of the band currently performing started up.

“uhhh..” you said, tapping your foot nervously on the ground. he didn’t seem to hear you so yout tapped him lightly; the red, white and blue turtleneck he was wearing was underneath a plain suit jacket and he had on black dress pants and a brown belt. he was tall, around six feet, and his phone was held loosely in his hand. the only light near you was the full moon, the nearest unnatural source was a table lamp on a white desk in the corner of the room, though he was stood just outside the door, basking in the light of the cosmos which were unusually bright for a city.

“hello?” you spoke again, this time a little louder. he turned and looked at you, eyes sparkling. you didn’t know whether it was the reflection of light or whether there were stars in his eyes, but it was stunning nonetheless. you saw he was wearing glasses, but his face was unmistakeably keiji’s. you stuttered when he sent a tiny smile at you, reaching out slowly as if asking for permission to touch you (which you of course granted). his arms wrapped around your torso and he spoke quietly to you, breathing softly in your ear.

“you were amazing tonight, y/n. the spotlight really suits you.”

the sentence made you blush a little but you managed to get over your nerves and look him in the eyes. at this point you were both tearing up but you couldn’t let any tears fall in front of him. you tried to speak but your voice came out strangled and hoarse. he rubbed your arm, silently telling you to take your time.

“i’m sorry,” you spoke softly into the night, not looking at the man anymore. it hurt, looking at him, the sad guise on his face broke your heart and you could almost hear his shatter when a tear broke free of its prison and rolled down your cheek. you looked at your feet and gasped when he pulled you into him; his heartbeat was comforting and you breathing slowed.

“i understand. it hurt, but it hurt you too, right? you loved her a lot. it was too much for you, and sometimes people need breaks. even long ones, okay?”

you nodded, clinging to the back of his jacket. it was almost as if akaashi wasn’t really there; it felt so surreal, holding him like this. when he spoke again, you felt yourself hold him tighter, if it was possible.

“maybe we should start over, y/n. i want to get to know you again,”

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redraspberrycats · 5 years ago

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Alright, the day has come!! This year, i participated in the Undertale Secret Santa and wrote a fic for @goops-art . She asked for a fluffy fic between Papyrus and Frisk as one of her prompts, so I have delivered! :D I really like the way it turned out, and I hope you do too!

I'll also @undertalesecretsanta for setting this all up! Thank you guys so much. With no further ado, here we go!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Papyrus paced worriedly through the snow -- or, rather, through the inches deep trench he had already worn into it. The human was late! Don't ask how he knew, he just did; the human should have been here by now, and it was disconcerting! Where could they possibly be??

Just as he was about to take a step out of his self-imposed boundaries, he saw a figure approaching from the distance. A small figure… the human!! Smiling in anticipation, he struck a dramatic pose and waited for them to get close. It had taken a bit longer than expected, but here they were, a captive audience for his practiced monologue! "HUMAN… ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLICATED FEELINGS," he began, impressed at how audience-y they were. Not even a peep or a shuffle! "FEELINGS LIKE…" Papyrus made to continue, but cut himself off. Upon closer inspection, something didn't seem right -- no one could be that good of an audience!

He strode forward and knelt to the ground in front of the human, who still hadn't moved, though they did now seem a bit confused. Continuing his scrutiny, Papyrus found that they were a mess; their clothes were wet and torn, their hair bedraggled, and their eyes tired. This simply wouldn't do at all! Not even Sans was allowed to be this messy! The capture would have to wait. Having decided on a course of action, Papyrus again began to speak. "HUMAN. ARE YOU, PERHAPS, IN NEED OF…. A HUG???"

Their eyes narrowed slightly and looked suspiciously shiny, as if holding back tears. Sniffling, they nodded, and hesitantly held their arms out toward him. Oh no! A genuine plea for affection -- they were targeting all of his soft tendencies! Papyrus reached forward and wrapped them in the closest hug his long limbs could muster, lest they pull away. It was easy to tell they were unsure, but when Papyrus rested his chin on their shoulder, they relaxed enough to lean most of their weight against him.

The two of them stayed there for a few minutes. The human seemed content, so Papyrus held off his restless energy just long enough to hold them for awhile. And then, of course, he took matters into his own (infinitely capable) hands. Literally. He picked them up with his hands and cradled them against his chest for the journey back through town.

"HUMAN…" he mused as they huddled closer to him (probably amazed at his sheer speed as he ran across the snow! Nyeh!). "I HAVE A QUESTION TO ASK YOU. ACTUALLY, I HAVE TWO QUESTIONS! I AM FEELING VERY INQUISITIVE, IT SEEMS!... ANYWAY." Papyrus' face shifted into a more serious expression. "WOULD YOU TELL ME YOUR NAME? FOR PERFECTLY REGULAR, NON-HUMAN HELPING REASONS, I SWEAR." There was a short bout of silence.

"....Frisk," they said eventually, shy.

"WOWIE, WHAT A SPECTACULAR NAME, HUMAN!" Papyrus smiled brightly, so the human -- Frisk -- would understand how great they were. "VERY HUMAN-Y…. DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT TOO MUCH. MOVING ON!" He pointed emphatically to the sky. "THE REAL QUESTION WAS: ARE YOU OKAY, FRISK?" He hoped the human could tell that he was concerned.

By this point, the two had reached town and made it to Papyrus' home, so he set them on the ground and held their hand while he opened the door. Frisk remained quiet as they walked inside. They made a beeline for the couch, and immediately buried their head in their hands.

"WHAT WAS I THINKING??" Papyrus said, and Frisk curled even further in on themselves. "OF COURSE YOU'RE OKAY! YOU ARE VERY GREAT, AFTER ALL! RIGHT, HUMAN?" Frisk didn't move, except to wrap their arms around their stomach. Their face was red and blotchy, but they seemed determined not to cry. Papyrus sat beside them and held an arm out encouragingly -- this was clearly a time for softer things. Like himself! Warm, soft, and cuddly, just as a skeleton should be! "Listen, Frisk. Maybe You Are Already Ok. But I Will Make You Even Okay-er Than You Already Are! Because The Great Papyrus Is The Best At Helping People Be Okay! Okay?" He spoke at a lower volume than usual, but made sure to still be just as exuberant. Frisk let out a watery giggle from their seat, and when he asked "Have I Said Okay Enough Times Yet?" they laughed again and scooted themselves under his arms, so they were cuddling.

"Can I…. can I stay here with you?" Frisk asked, timid. They seemed a little embarrassed. "I don't really wanna leave." they admitted, hiding their face again, but this time in Papyrus' battle body. He gently ran his fingers over their back.

"YES, OF COURSE! IF YOU NEED A PLACE TO STAY, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK!" Back to his regular voice, Papyrus was a bit loud, but the human didn't seem to mind. "IF WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER, THERE HAS TO BE PREPARATIONS, THOUGH! DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND???" Frisk, smiling, shook their head. "THE COOKING KIND!! COME ON, LET'S MAKE A PIE! WE CAN CANOODLE LATER!" With no further preamble, he shot up off the couch and into the kitchen. It didn't take him long at all; he had long legs. That, and the kitchen was… right there.

Once Frisk had joined him, he set about explaining how to make the pie -- you had to beat the fruit filling into submission! You had to roll the crust out within an inch of its life! You had to turn the oven all the way up and throw the pie in with the fury of a thousand suns… whatever those were! -- and then instructed the human to give it their best shot. They picked up the spoon for the filling and hit it with all the force they could. Which… "HM. THAT WASN'T VERY. STRONG. BUT THAT'S OK!! YOU ARE DOING YOUR BEST!! I WILL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE!"

Papyrus took the spoon and smashed it into the bowl, which sent the filling splattering all over the walls. There wasn't much left in the bowl. No matter -- "ONTO THE CRUST!"

Frisk bounced a bit as they followed him to the other side of the counter, where he had pre-made dough set out. It seemed they were coming out of their shell! How enchanting! "ALRIGHT! I WANT YOU TO ROLL THIS CRUST OUT WITH ALL THE POWER… OF FRIENDSHIP!! NYEH HEH!" Carefully, they took both sides of the handle and rolled it out. Slowly. "YOU KNOW WHAT?? I'LL HELP! IT WOULDN'T BE FRIENDSHIP IF YOU DIDN'T DO IT WITH A FRIEND!!" Before stopping to consult, Papyrus grabbed one end of the rolling pin and let Frisk grasp the other side. Together, they spread the dough until it was big enough to make a crust.

The result was… indescribably lumpy.

Papyrus placed his hands on his hips, smiled, and said "NYEH! WELL DONE, HUMAN! NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER; ALMOST PUZZLE-LIKE, ISN'T IT?"

Frisk turned a lovely shade of pink as they followed him around the kitchen. It looked like they were thinking very hard about something. Just as he was about to show them how to put the pie in the oven, they reached up to tug on his battle body. "You, um. You're doing well too." They told him, fidgeting with the sleeves of their sweater. Papyrus gasped.

"OH NO!! A GENUINE COMPLIMENT! YOUR POWER… IT'S TOO STRONG!!!" Frisk giggled at his antics and playfully shoved his hip, which was in easy reach for them. He, in turn, stumbled back dramatically, putting a palm to his forehead. "ET TU, HUMAN??" Pretending to be worried, they rushed over to him and fretted about his "injuries". Papyrus laughed triumphantly and picked them up, rising back to his full height. "NYEH HEH HEH!! YOU HAVE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP! LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE A SECRET MOVE OF MY OWN!" Papyrus swung them about in a circle, Frisk laughing all the while, and then hugged them for all he was worth. They hugged back, with slightly less force but no shortage of love.

"ALRIGHT, HUMAN, YOU'VE CONVINCED ME!" Frisk looked up, confused, and Papyrus set them on the ground. He walked over and set the pie in the oven, so focused on what he was saying that he forgot to use his sun-passion… sun fury? "IT IS TIME TO CANOODLE! COME WITH ME AND LET'S CHOOSE MOVIES AS A BACKDROP!" Frisk made a happy hum and ran behind him to the living room, flapping their arms excitedly.

The two of them made their way over to the stack of films to peruse the selection, but it didn't take long before Frisk pointed and shouted "That one that one that one!!!" with hardly any space to breathe in between their words. It was a disc of the first season of a human show that Undyne had left after a sleepover.

"OH! THIS SHOW IS RATHER INTERESTING. INTERESTING IN THAT I HAVE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE! BUT WHAT DO YOU KNOW?? I HAVE A FEELING YOU AND UNDYNE WOULD BE GREAT FRIENDS, HUMAN! SUCH PASSION! SUCH EXCITEMENT!! SUCH SIMILAR TASTE IN ANIMATED VIDEO!!!" Papyrus kept up his mini monologue as he picked up the show and set it up to play, Frisk glowing with anticipation all the while. When he had settled on the couch, he lifted an arm and they immediately snuggled against him, having lost all the hesitation from earlier. Papyrus smiled fondly to himself, but didn't say a word.

They watched the show together for a good long while, settling into each other more comfortably on the couch and laughing or commenting when appropriate. As the evening turned to night, Frisk became a bit drowsy in their place against Papyrus. Presently, he got up to take the pie out. They had spread out into the warmth he left behind by the time he came back, so instead of moving them too much, he simply lifted them into his lap. Snuffling quietly, they turned to face his chest and curl up against it before falling back asleep. Their tiny hands on his chest plate made his SOUL overflow with affection.

When Sans came home a few hours later, it was to the both of them passed out on the couch, the TV still playing in the background. He placed Papyrus' favorite blanket over them, turned off the television, then went to bed himself.

#fanfiction #undertale secret santa #undertale #papyrus #sans #frisk #fluff #hurt/comfort #wow i have a voice #baking #sort of anyway #my writing #this was genuinely fun to write tbh. i havent written ut fic in awhile and im gonna do more #blahhh i know i said this but i hope u like it #both my beta readers did so i think we are in the clear lol

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angsty-nerd · 5 years ago

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Echo-inspired Season 1 Playlist

So I’ve been meaning to share this for… a really long time. But I’m kind of glad that I waited so long because I found a bunch more songs to add and ended up doing an edit on this playlist this weekend, so this is where it landed. It’s a bit of a beast—40+ songs. (And it’s my shorter Echo playlist… I have another one I’m still playing with that has all of these, plus the show’s soundtrack songs, plus recommendations that I’m still considering for future Echo use…so this is the reasonably lengthen one…haha). If you just want to go to Spotify and check it out, here’s the link.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/14ZIHN2MwjfgFbA6yF3RAO?si=5vPkiahyQw-voaZjqMLWsw

If you want to read my rambles about the progression of the songs and why I picked them, along with some lyrics from each one that make me think of Echo, that beastly monstrosity is below the cut for you! Here’s just the track list:

1. Armor - Sara Bareilles 2. People Need a Melody - the Head and the Heart 3. A World to Explore - Joshua Radin 4. Missed Connection - the Head and the Heart 5. Summer Years - Death Cab for Cutie 6. It’s OK - Natalie Taylor 7. Something American - Jade Bird 8. Anchor - Novo Amor 9. Harvest Moon - Neil Young 10. Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band 11. Silhouettes - Oscar Blue 12. The Storm - The Airborne Toxic Event 13. The Space Between - Dave Matthews Band 14. Walls - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers 15. Ruins - Jade Bird 16. The Last Time - Taylor Swift feat. Gary Lightbody 17. Run No More - the Talbott Brothers 18. Wild Heart - Bleachers 19. Dream - Bishop Briggs 20. Lullaby - Lord Huron 21. Watch Me - Labi Siffre 22. Grew Up Fast - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers 23. 17 - Jade Bird 24. Your Hurricane - Death Cab for Cutie 25. Lose that Light - Folly and the Hunter 26. Such a Simple Thing - Ray LaMontagne 27. Make These Colors Real - Hush Kids 28. Surrender - Natalie Taylor 29. I’ll Be Your Mirror - Clem Snide 30. Courage - P!nk 31. Easy - Camilla Cabello 32. Day Too Soon - Sis 33. Truly Madly Deeply - Yoke Lore 34. Side by Side - Layup 35. Electric Love - BØRNS 36. Duet - Penny and Sparrow feat. Stephanie Briggs 37. Atlas: Two - Sleeping at Last 38. Another Story - the Head and the Heart 39. Come to this - Natalie Taylor 40. Six Feet Under - Billie Eilish 41. Hello My Old Heart - the Oh Hellos 42. Poetry by Dead Men - Sara Bareilles 43. Recovering the Satellites - Counting Crows 44. The Chain - Ingrid Michaelson

PRE-SHOW

1. Armor - Sara Bareilles

Stolen from Carina’s Liz mix, and obviously heavy on the Ortecho vibe in general. I might associate it a little more with Rosa back in the flashbacks, being proud of Liz and protective of her.

You think I am high and mighty mister Wait til you meet my little sister

2. People Need A Melody - the Head and the Heart

This song just gives me images of Max sitting at home over the years, listening to music, and then Bright Eyes comes on and it just takes him back to that day in the desert when he was lucky enough to be openly in love with Liz for one day before everything went to hell. 💔

All those books in your head, Is that all this really was? Just a role you play that you could hide behind Is it what you want? To bury yourself away Before your time goes I don’t want a love that holds us back I don’t want a life that I can’t have

Cause people need a melody to open their eyes Like a key to a memory frozen in time Holding onto everything, you’re stuck in the past Boy, when you gonna learn the world moves fast?

3. A World to Explore - Josh Radin

Liz leaves on her road trip, pushing the past away, and moving forward into her new life.

Yesterday rains came Everything’s changing The past has closed its door Well I know there’s something more I know there’s so much more So far to go On this open road, a world to explore So far to go On this open road, away we go

4. Missed Connection - the Head and the Heart

Somewhat self explanatory, I think. Mostly I just think of Max staying in Roswell haunted by all of the what ifs, and how close he and Liz came to being something real.

Did you find what you were looking for? Had to open every single door I get the feeling you’ve been here before From a missed connection Don’t tell me I lost a step Criss-crossed in the wrong direction Found myself in a conversation From a missed connection

5. Summer Years - Death Cab for Cutie

This is, like, my #1 Max over the 10 year gap song. I just hear him all through it, haunted by Rosa’s death and the coverup, heartbroken by Liz’s sudden departure, and trapped in his life.

Sometimes I’m overcome by every choice I couldn’t outrun… And I wonder where you are tonight If the one you’re with is a compromise Cause we’re walking lines in parallel That will never meet and it’s just as well

6. It’s Ok - Natalie Taylor

You know in the pilot, Max says he used to think about what he’d say if he ever saw Liz again. Meaning he didn’t really anymore. Meaning at some point he let go of the hope of her returning to Roswell. That’s kind of where my mind goes listening to this song.

It only hurts me to live this way Holding on to yesterday… Close my eyes, you’re gone And I’m the only one still holding on It’s ok I’ve got to let you go

7. Something American - Jade Bird

I have an old-school song fic just waiting to come out inspired by this song… I hear a lot of different things in it. Mostly I hear Max and the memory of Liz and Cameron in it. With a little bit of Kyle thrown in too.

In my dreams I find The stars align and they all collide And it’s you and I back in time It feels so right But you don’t call me now And I don’t think too much about you When she’s not around I can feel you’re lonely

PILOT

8. Anchor - Novo Amor

Max’s reaction to Liz finally coming home & hoping she’ll stay.

I hear your ship is coming in Your tears a sea for me to swim I hear a storm is coming in My dear, is it all we’ve ever been Anchor up to me, love

9. Harvest Moon - Neil Young

Max gets that brief smile on his face when he’s watching Liz dance in the Crashdown, before he lets her know he’s there. And this is what I hear going through his head in that moment.

When we were strangers I’d watch you from afar When we were lovers I’d love you with all my heart… Because I’m still in love with you I want to see you dance again

10. Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band

It honestly took me a long time to get on board with adding this one, because it’s such an important OG Max/Liz song. But a while back in one of her Q&As, Carina said that if she could give the pilot a title it’d be this, and even with this different version of Max and Liz it still is the perfect song and perfect metaphor for their experience in the pilot.

Lost for you I’m so lost for you You come crash into me

11. Silhouettes - Oscar Blue

I mean….

Do I need to say anything more? Okay, well here are some lyrics to emphasize my point.

She’s a diamond in the coal Something that enchants my soul Graceful and captivating Just one glance and my mind is invaded… So should I try really really hard Or just keep loving you from afar… Oh can we walk into the sunset Until our bodies are silhouettes Cause busy days cause busy lives And maybe you’ll just keep on walking by Are my hopes just gonna suffocate in my doubt Or am I being my anxious self drowning my chances out

SO MUCH FOR THE AFTERGLOW

12. The Storm - the Airborne Toxic Event

I definitely stole this from someone else’s Echo mix…but take it as a compliment! I definitely see a little bit of Liz coming home in this song, both from her perspective and Max’s. But in my playlist’s narrative I also see this as being kind of like the end of 1x02, when Liz makes the decision to stay and investigate Rosa’s murder.

I surprise myself sometimes The way the days unfold and this road unwinds You tell me you see it too And the miles seem like inches when I think of you It’s been 25 days since I’ve been gone 25 weeks since I’ve seen my home I spent 25 months chasing this song and all of this time I’ve been alone Then you walk right through the doorway You tell me you’re here to stay

TEARING UP MY HEART

13. The Space Between - Dave Matthews Band

So if the last song was the end of 1x02, that means now we’re in the awkward, heartbreaking period where Max is pouring his heart out, and Liz is pretending to feel nothing because she doesn’t trust him. 💔 Which is basically the running theme for the next few songs…

You cannot quit me so quickly There’s no hope in you for me… The space between the wicked lies we tell And hope to keep safe from the pain… We’re strange allies with warring hearts…

14. Walls - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

My brother played this song while we were driving from Phoenix to the Grand Canyon in February. It was the morning after Smells Like Teen Spirit aired, Liz had just told Max that she never wanted to see him again, and I heard this song for the first time and said to myself, “YES.”

All around your island there’s a barricade That keeps out the danger that holds in the pain Sometimes you’re happy sometimes you cry Half of me is ocean half of me is sky But you’ve got a heart so big it could crush this town But I can’t hold out forever even walls fall down

15. Ruins - Jade Bird

Just…I think about Max and that painful scene between him and Liz at the end of this episode, and how much her accusations throw him off. And the resulting explosion that caused the blackout.

How do we have to do this again? I’ll tell you how I’m feeling You’re like a cryptomaniac trying to connect the dots and the facts How do we have to be here? ‘Cause these hotels, I just can’t relax The more I bend, the worse that I snap I feel like a goddamn maniac

Tell me what did I do to deserve somebody like you? It’s too hard to tell the truth nothing’s real and nothing’s rude I’m just a product of my emotions and they’re all setting off again… You sure you wanna do this now? Oh, you sure you wanna do this now?

'Cause I mean it when I say that I don’t understand And I mean it when I say that I’m not sure who I am 'Cause one minute I love you and the next it’s all in ruins One minute thinking of you and the next my mind’s in ruins

WHERE HAVE ALL THE COWBOYS GONE

16. The Last Time - Taylor Swift feat. Gary Lightbody

Very much the Crashdown “how do you truly feel about me” scene.

Find myself at your door just like all those times before I’m not sure how I got there all roads, they lead me here I imagine you are home in your room, all alone And you open your eyes into mine and everything feels better And right before your eyes I’m breaking No past, no reasons why just you and me This is the last time I’m asking you this Put my name at the top of your list This is the last time I’m asking you why You break my heart in the blink of an eye

DON’T SPEAK

Don’t Speak is one of my favorite chunks of this playlist. I love the pre-pilot set of songs, this set, and then the Recovering the Satellites to the end set the most out of all of this whole thing. Just thought I’d share. Also 3 of my 4 favorite episodes. Hmmm… 🤔

17. Run No More - the Talbott Brothers

So, this is kind of my interpretation of Max’s POV after learning that Isobel sent Liz away. I feel like that knowledge and the realization that Michael and Isobel had manipulated the biggest heartbreak of his life, and lied to him for a decade about it, kind of freed him in a sense. And for the first time he felt like he could stop hiding and release his guilt. If Liz hadn’t been in trouble, I think he would have gone straight to her and confessed everything.

It doesn’t get easier the further I run It gets harder to carry the weight of what I’ve done I am speaking from experience I don’t wanna run no more

18. Wild Heart - Bleachers Pretty much same themes as above. These two songs to me are kind of the combo of that determination in Max. Above is more focused on his guilt and wanting to reveal the truth. This one is more about his love for Liz and his determination to find her and protect her and love her.

As I sat with the echoes of lies that I told I felt young, never changed by crooked hearts… Well, everything has changed And now it’s only you that matters I will find any way to your wild heart

19. Dream - Bishop Briggs

I don’t remember who did a fanvid to this…was it Mo? It was wonderful and it’s perfect for the end of this episode. Max running to save Liz from Wyatt Long and wanting to come clean to her, even though he knew it would likely still make her turn away from him. Liz breaking down at the end…sniffles.

Oh, I had a dream that you couldn’t hear me screaming Trying to tell you everything but it wouldn’t stop you leaving I wanna wake up where your love is 'Cause your love is always waking mine

I wanna break down where your heart gets So torn it’s almost breaking mine I wanna lay here, lost and bitter So long, I feel like I could die I wanna tell you what my truth is But it’s buried down inside

20. Lullaby - Lord Huron

I heart this song… and I think it speaks to Liz in this episode so much. The danger she puts herself in, Wyatt!Noah coming after her, Max desperately wanting to protect her…

You arrive along with the sun Where have you been darlin’? What have you done? You were out finding trouble again There’s a fire in your eyes and there’s blood on your hands Come inside and lie down to sleep You ain’t gonna run and you know that you’re beat Rest awhile, they’re coming for you There’s a price to be paid for the things that we do

Fall asleep and forget all your troubles Dream of laughter and old friends and lovers Dream of when you were innocent

SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT

21. Watch Me - Labi Siffre Early in the episode, when they were happy and innocent. I feel like this song just kind of captures that young love, high school vibe.

Watch me when you look my way See me smiling, be my night and day Touch me in your own sweet way Feel me tremble, you take my words away All of the time I love you Make you a rhyme, I love you

22. Grew Up Fast - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Here’s another Tom Petty song from my brother’s playlist that we listened to on the way to the Grand Canyon on the day after this episode aired. I heard it, and immediately thought of the Pod Squad (and Liz) and how the incidents surrounding Rosa’s death kind of forced them all out of their youth and into a traumatic adulthood. Also I think it kind of bridges back to the present with Max telling Liz the story of Rosa’s death and her reaction towards him at the end of the episode.

We grew up fast when lies were just a fact of life We grew up mad cause we never had a home… Hey, my brother I’ve got no fight with you, I just can’t lie down Hey, my brother I’ve got no fight with you, I just can’t lie down No, I just can’t lie down, I just can’t lie down Well, you know who I am So don’t treat me like I’m someone else… You never talk like that to no one else You never scream like that for no one else

23. 17 - Jade Bird

This…just…the look on Max’s face when Liz runs out after telling him she never wants to see him again. It’s like his heart is breaking all over again.

You asked me to be yours, well you’re tempting fate How I left a promise but it’s one I can’t make Lord knows it’d kill me if you walked away But darling my lies, they hide you from the pain Stay, let me explain why I act so mean Don’t look away, baby, it’s not all that it seems I’m so afraid that you’ll just get up and leave My heart will break like I’m 17

I SAW THE SIGN & BARELY BREATHING

24. Your Hurricane - Death Cab for Cutie

“Liz Ortecho is my hurricane.” Max is such a ball of anger and angst in this episode. This song may lean a little more on the anger side than really played out in the episode, but I still think it works, considering that Liz spends much of this episode creating the serum.

You used to be such a delicate kid A lonely fish in a sea full of squid So I can’t blame you for leaving how you did You just fell off the grid 'Cause heaven is a hole in the sky The stars are cracks in the ceiling of night But you can’t be your own alibi As hard as you try It’s a tired refrain you’re singing over and over again As you try to explain who’s at fault for your mistakes But I won’t be the debris in your hurricane

25. Lose That Light - Folly and the Hunter

I don’t recall where I got this song from…it may have come from someone else’s playlist. But it makes me think about how rough of a go Max has it in Barely Breathing and how Liz is, like, the light that kind of guides him through it, that he has faith in to save his sister.

In my arms you fell, after fighting tooth and nail. The convictions you have are all gone now. You followed that trail, just to take a chance and fail. Do not let that dark voice call you out Even if it gets hard, don’t lose that light…

26. Such a Simple Thing - Ray LaMontagne

I see this as the end of the episode, when they are so close to being on the same page, but Liz is still afraid and still puts up that wall. Max sees how amazing she is, how she’s willing to fight to save Isobel for him. And Liz is beginning to feel it as well, because the drive to do it for Max, to comfort him, was so powerful. “My heart is like paper” = Max, “yours is like a flame” = Liz.

Tell me what you’re feeling I can take the pain Tell me that you mean it That you won’t leave again Tell me what your heart wants Such a simple thing My heart is like paper Yours is like a flame

SONGS ABOUT TEXAS

27. Make These Colors Real - Hush Kids

This song just makes me think about that vibe all through Songs About Texas prior to the kiss. The heart eyes looks, the touches, how close they are to going there, even though it hasn’t happened yet. This is also the only song I couldn’t find lyrics for online so I transcribed as best I can, but I couldn’t figure one line out, so I just left it off the post! Sorryyyy…

I guess you win, I guess I’ll see you around again Locked eyes, brushed hands. I’ll lie and say we’re only friends Yes I want you but I don’t want to Cause I can’t hold you when I want to So maybe I’m selfish, maybe it’s reckless Maybe I’m out of my mind

Ooh you make me weak you, you make me seek you You’d make me dive down to the depth of your ocean Ooh if I could hold you… I’d make these colors real

28. Surrender - Natalie Taylor

Throughout this whole episode I feel like there’s a general sense of Liz giving up her fight against Max. She can’t hide how much she loves him anymore. She hasn’t quite decided to be with him yet…but throughout the episode that wall thins more and more until she finally does give in to him.

No one will win this time I just want you back I’m running to your side Flying my white flag, my white flag… Whenever you’re ready, whenever you’re ready Can we, can we surrender I surrender

29. I’ll Be Your Mirror - Clem Snide

I’m pretty sure this came from another Echo playlist…because it’s the perfect song to represent Max’s speech to Liz to reveal how well he sees her.

I find it hard to believe you don’t know The beauty you are But if you don’t let me be your eyes A hand to your darkness, so you won’t be afraid When you think the night has seen your mind That inside you’re twisted and unkind Let me stand to show that you are blind Please put down your hands 'Cause I see you I’ll be your mirror, reflect what you are

30. Courage - P!nk

That split second before Liz decides to grab Max and pull him in for the kiss…

See, I let the light in the darkest places Let the sun shine, pain goes away Nothing is permanent for me Have I the courage to change?

31. Easy - Camilla Cabello

It’s almost ridiculous how Echo’s first kiss this song is. Like, seriously, Camilla? Do you watch RNM? Are you an Echo shipper? Is this your own personal fan song?

You really, really know me The future and the old me All of the mazes and the madness in my mind You really, really love me You know me and you love me And it’s the kind of thing I always hoped I’d find

Always thought I was hard to love 'Til you made it seem so easy, seem so easy Always thought I was hard to love 'Til you made it seem so easy, seem so easy Touch me 'til I find myself, in a feeling Tell me with your hands that you’re never leaving Always thought I was hard to love 'Til you made it seem so easy, seem so easy All I know is you, heal me when I’m broken, heal me when I’m broken All I know is you, saved me and you know it, saved me and you know it

32. Day Too Soon - Sia

Liz making the choice that it is finally the right time for her to stop running. Okay, Max has been waiting patiently, but for Liz everything has finally perfectly collided.

Pick me up in your arms Carry me away from harm You’re never gonna put me down I know you’re just one good man You’ll tire before we see land You’re never gonna put me down You’ll risk all this for just a kiss I promise I will not resist

Promise you won’t hold me down And when we reach a good place Let’s be sure to leave no trace Promise they won’t track us down

Now I’ve been running all my life I ran away, I ran away from good Yeah, I’ve been waiting all my life You’re not a day, you’re not a day too soon

33. Truly Madly Deeply - Yoke Lore

Awesome cover of 90’s song? Check! Super romantic to the point of almost cheesy? Check! It’s got Echo getting together written all over it.

I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy. I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love, be everything that you need. I’ll love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do I want to stand with you on a mountain I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to lay like this forever. Until the sky falls down on me

I DON’T WANT TO MISS A THING, CHAMPAGNE SUPERNOVA, CREEP

34. Side By Side - Layup

Sadly, I don’t have a lot of songs for this chunk of episodes for Echo. But they’re finally together, on the same team, being awesome, so that’s pretty much all I’m getting at with this song.

And so, now I go down all these roads with you, my home And now, I’ll keep you close I hope you know - I love you most So here I walk by your side, oh, on our own time Oh, we’ll be alright, as long as we stay side by side From the coldest nights to warmer degrees we’ll get by You and I, side by side

RECOVERING THE SATELLITES

35. Electric Love - BØRNS

I mean… Alien!God Max channeling all that lightning to get the job done is fucking sexy. And then he just marches home to worship his love the way Liz deserves. *nods firmly*

Baby you’re like lightning in a bottle I can’t let you go now that I got it All I need is to be struck By your electric love Baby, you’re electric love Electric love Rushing through me I feel your energy rushing through me…

36. Duet - Penny and Sparrow f/ Stephanie Briggs

Echo love scene. Just ignore that Liz is not wearing a dress. Everything else fits. And the chorus? *chefs kiss* “Because I’ve seen you and I know you”...ties right back to their first kiss and Max proving to Liz that he isn’t holding onto some high school fantasy. “And I’m not going anywhere”...it breaks my heart because it was 100% true in that moment…but hours later Max is dead. 😭

I bet your shoulders can hold more than just the straps of that tiny dress That I’ll help you slide aside when we get home I’ve seen 'em carry family and the steel drum weight of me Effortless, just like that dress that I’ll help off I bet your back can carry more than just the weight of your button-down One by one, they’ll come undone when we get home I’ve seen you carry family and all my insecurities One by one, they’ll come undone when we get home

Because I’ve seen you And I know you And I’m not going anywhere

37. Atlas: Two - Sleeping at Last

This is, like, the most Max song ever. Especially where his head is at right at the end of Recovering the Satellites after he and Liz make love, when he is straight up in worshipful puppy mode. It makes me both 😍 and 😭, because I love how much he loves her, but I know how unhealthy his devotion is, and that it leads to him dying.

Sweetheart, you look a little tired when did you last eat? Come in and make yourself right at home stay as long as you need Tell me, is something wrong? If something’s wrong, you can count on me You know I’ll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat It’s okay if you can’t find the words Let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders

Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you with every single thing I have Like a tidal wave, I’ll make a mess Or calm waters, if that serves you best I will love you without any strings attached It’s okay if you can’t catch your breath You can take the oxygen straight out of my own chest I know exactly how the rule goes put my mask on first No, I don’t want to talk about myself tell me where it hurts I just want to build you up, build you up ‘til you’re good as new And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too I don’t even know where to start Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you without any strings attached What a privilege it is to love A great honor to hold you, love Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you with every single thing I have Like a tidal wave, I’ll make a mess Or calm waters if that serves you best I will love you without any strings attached I will love you without a single string attached

38. Another Story - the Head and the Heart

In my head this is another afterglow, Max manic on love & power and it pushes him to do something crazy song...I both see he and Liz happy together in his bed in the morning sunlights and flickering firelight...and Max deciding to heal Rosa. 😍😭

These are just flames burning in your fireplace I hear your voice and it seems as if it was all a dream I wish it was all a dream I see a world, a world turning in on itself Are we just like hungry wolves howling in the night I don’t want no music tonight

Every time I hear another story Oh the poor boy lost his head Everybody feels a little crazy But we go on living with it

39. Come to This - Natalie Taylor

Liz crying over Max’s body 😭😭😭. There is no heart eyes here. It’s all just paaaain. 😭😭😭

How can this happen? How can this be? There is no ending, there is no peace The darkness is so close The light so quickly goes And now it’s all gone Now it’s all gone Will you hear me when I speak? Do you feel the pain with me? I’ve tried to be so strong I thought that hope would come But you’re not here

Oh, the darkness keeps its grip Oh, how’d it come to this? Oh, please come back Please come back

40. Six Feet Under - Billie Eilish

More Liz crying over Max’s body…and just love and pain and death and sadness. 😭😭😭

Retrace my lips Erase your touch It’s all too much for me Blow away Like smoke in air How can you die carelessly? Our love is six feet under I can’t help but wonder If our grave was watered by the rain Would roses bloom? Could roses bloom?

POST-SEASON 1

These are just kind of my headcanon songs of various post-S1 reactions from Liz at various different dark moments.

41. Hello My Old Heart - the Oh Hellos

I see a lot of people attribute this song to Liz at the beginning of the show, but I think it’s more appropriate at the end of the season. I’d love it if they use this song in Season 2. I see it more as Liz putting the walls she had at the beginning of the show back up again after loving and losing Max, which would break my heart. But I think it’s how she would cope while he’s gone and then those walls would come back down.

Hello, my old heart It’s been so long Since I’ve given you away And every day, I add another stone To the walls I built around you To keep you safe

Oh, oh, don’t leave me here alone Don’t tell me that we’ve grown For having loved a little while Oh, oh, I don’t wanna be alone I wanna find a home And I wanna share it with you

42. Poetry By Dead Men - Sara Bareilles

I can see this scene in my head. I can see Liz and Max both longing for this scene in their head. Just the simple domesticity of drinking coffee together in the afterglow, while Max reads poetry to Liz. Except that he had to go and die first and that just fucking sucks. So I hear some anger and a little bit of “don’t let the door hit you on your way out” in this song, and I could see Liz occasionally just having moments of anger in her grief where she feels this way. Briefly.

By the time you hear this, who knows where I might be Singing about another near-miss love that ended incomplete I was ready, but you weren’t So jump with your net from this bridge you’ve burned I wanted to tell you things, all the secrets I’ve been keeping I saw it in front of me, but then you just kept disappearing A good dream, almost, now I tell your ghost

I wanted to be your girl in a white T-shirt Over coffee, stirring in the cinnamon While you read me poetry by dead men I wanted to be your girl with your hands on my skin Stirring in the cinnamon While you read me poetry by dead men

43. Recovering the Satellites - Counting Crows

This is one of the few episode titles where the lyrics actually get to me, like in a plotty way. But not necessarily from what happens in the episode, so much as the idea of Liz questioning later whether the brief moment of love she had with Max was worth all of the accompanying pain. 😭😭😭😭

So why’d you come home to this sleepless town? It’s a lifetime commitment, recovering the satellites All anybody really wants to know is When you’re gonna come down, when you’re gonna come down But we only stay in orbit for a moment of time And then you’re everybody’s satellite I wish that you were mine, I wish that you were mine

44. The Chain - Ingrid Michaelson

Definitely stole this from someone else, but it’s perfect and I love ending with it, because even though it’s loaded down with all of the pain we’re feeling at the end of the season, it also has a little twinge of hope and possibility for that future day when Max comes back (which we all know he will)! So in other words, it’s 😭😭😍😍

The sky looks pissed The wind talks back My bones are shifting in my skin And you my love are gone My room feels wrong The bed won’t fit I cannot seem to operate And you my love are gone

I’ll never say that I’ll never love But I don’t say a lot of things And you my love are gone

So glide away on soapy heels And promise not to promise anymore And if you come around again Then I will take, Then I will take, The chain from off the door

#music of my soul #rnm echo music #rnm echo

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intheforest-hides-a-light · 6 years ago

Text

A New Family | Part 1

Synopsis: Rachel Jessop’s life changes forever the day she meets Joseph Seed, and the seven years that follow are not at all how she expected them to be.

((So tumblr removed all my text from this post when I went to add a hashtag so here I am pasting it back in again *cries* there’s probably errors now haha))

Rating: M

Genre: Angst, Drama, pre-canon

Characters: Faith Seed (Rachel Jessop), Tracey Lader, Joseph Seed + others

Warnings: abuse, drug use, thoughts of suicide, implied sex

Length of Part 1: 6.5k Total Length: TBD

Disclaimer: I don’t own FC5 or its characters, only thing that’s mine is my writing.

a/n: Basically my take on Faith’s story as seen from her eyes. Who she is, how she ended up with PEG and why she stayed. Wrote this waaayy before all the “Did Joseph exploited Faith” drama came about. I’ve always been intrigued by their relationship/power dynamic so this delves into that as the story progresses. Also gets into the role that the Faiths play and why Rachel is different. Enjoy!

-------

I count the bruises on my arms and legs as I cry alone in my bedroom. Three on the right leg, two on the left. Four on the right arm, five on the left. I haven’t looked at myself in the mirror today but I am sure that my left eye is completely black and blue. There are fingernail scratches along my collarbones. Are they from my dad or from my brother? I don’t remember. I don’t want to remember. I run my fingers through my hair. Masses of strands fall out in clumps. Is it from being dragged across the kitchen last night? Or is it from the incident in the girls’ locker room two days ago? I don’t remember. I don’t want to remember.

I turn my nightstand around, looking for a secret stash of weed I keep hidden in case of emergencies. I find the plastic bag, but it is practically empty. There have been a lot of emergencies in the last three weeks. My backpack is sitting by the door. I head over to it and search the inner secret pocket. Another ziplock bag, empty except for a white powdery residue. I go into the bathroom, open up the lower cabinet door, feel around the upper inside and pull out another bag hidden between the pipe and the wall. Syringes. Empty.

My phone chimes. It’s Tracey. I hesitate to pick up. Deep down all I want is to talk to someone. Tell someone that it happened again, that I am back at the beginning, that no matter how much courage I try to muster up I keep falling back to this same place, dirt low, forgotten. Beaten. The only way up is getting high. That’s the only escape I know.

Tracey doesn’t need drugs like I need drugs. Tracey doesn’t depend on a leafy plant, or a fine white powder or a needle to numb her pain. Tracey is much stronger than me.

I swallow hard and pick up my phone, “Hi, Tracey.”

“Hey girl, how you holding up?”

Just hearing her ask the question shatters me. I hold in my sob, but my voice comes out shaky and weak, “I’m...not...not great.”

“What’s going on?”

“It was bad yesterday. It was really bad.”

“Your dad? Your brother?”

My father is a pharmacist. Yet somehow, right after mom died, his years of education magically disappeared and he quit his job to start experimenting with homeopathic medicine. Since then things haven’t been so easy. He makes no money. We’re living in debt. He’s looking for a cure for my autistic brother. I try to tell him, because he won’t listen to his graduate degree, that it’s impossible, that David is going to stay that way forever and the only thing that is going to make it any easier on him is love and education. I tell him that and he beats me up. Whatever he cooks up in his lab only makes my brother angry, violent. I think it’s getting into my father’s head too. Sends him into these fits of rage. I go to bed hearing screaming matches between the two of them. I’m afraid that one morning I will wake up and--

I can’t think about it. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t have anymore weed. I can’t break down like this because I don’t have a way up.

“Both.”

“Those bitches from school?”

Don’t think about it, Rachel.

“Uh huh.”

“Oh gosh. I’m sorry girlfriend. Got that secret stash I gave you?” She’s referring to the pot. She doesn’t know about the other two vices.

“All out.”

I hear her sigh, “You know that’s for emergencies only, Rachel. Not for everyday use. You’re supposed to be getting off that stuff, you know? We’re trying to get you better.”

“I know,” I sniff, “I know Trace. Lately it’s been so hard. I just wish there was a way out. I know I’m failing. I know you probably think I’m a failure but I am trying, I’m really trying.”

She chuckles, but I can tell that it is loving, “Hey. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. OK? I know it isn’t easy. You’re not failing as long as you keep trying. Speaking of which...I think I found a place for us.”

We’ve been planning on running away together, mainly for my sake but also for hers. I need to get away from my dad. And she, well, Tracey’s got it good, but she’s always seeking more from life.

“How far is it?” I inquire.

“Not as far as we hoped, Rach,” she sighs, “Hope County”.

“Well that’s about as local as it gets,” I say with dismay, “What is it?”

“They call themselves Eden’s Gate. The Project at Eden’s Gate.”

“What are they? What do they do?”

“Well they’ve got a sermon tonight at the Ranch in Holland Valley. I’ll drive. Wanna come and find out?”

“I don’t think my dad will let me.”

“Who said you need his permission? Come on Rachel. We’ve snuck out your bedroom window plenty of times. It’ll be just like the old days.”

I look at my window. Nailed shut with wooden planks. Tracey doesn’t know about my father’s latest attempt to keep me in. My door is always locked. My father keeps the key. I can only go out for meals. Meals that aren’t even worth eating. I eat a scoop of peas for dinner and drink a glass of milk for breakfast. I do have my own bathroom, and my own bedroom, but no connection to the outside world other than my cell phone. Which is why those secret stashes meant so much to me.

“Well...I really think I ought to ask first, just in case,” I look down at my bruised legs, “I can’t afford to get into any more trouble. What do they preach? Maybe I can convince my old man?”

There’s a pause on the other end, “Just tell him they’re Christians. We are going to church.”

“Okay,” I pick at my nails, “I think he’ll be fine with that.”

------

Two hours later, blessed with permission from my unpredictable father, I am trying to cover up my black eye in the mirror. I don’t have a lot of makeup. My mother practically forbade it and my father continued the tradition. The only thing I can wear is concealer when I have a breakout, as every teenager gets. Otherwise he’s scared that I’ll get pregnant. But little does he know, back when Mom was alive, Tracey and I used to waitress at the 8-bit Pizza Bar while we were supposed to be selling girl scout cookies (sixteen is a little old for that anyway, in my opinion). We’d pick up some good looking boys in there from time to time. It didn’t matter that I didn’t wear any makeup. Guess you could say I had that small town charm going for me. Or maybe it was the fact that I was an easy target. I didn’t have a backbone. I still don’t. The boys were genteel enough. Courteous. Charming. But the minute I got into one of their trucks their hands went straight for me. Not the steering wheel. My breasts. Not the stick shift. My thigh. As if they owned it. As if they won it over. As if it was theirs for the taking from the beginning.

I let them take it. I’ve forgotten how much I owe Tracey for all the morning after pills she brought me. Every night after it would happen, I’d throw rocks and her bedroom window. She’d come down to the front and let me in. We’d go to the backyard, sit in the rocking chairs. Tracey would roll two joints and always gave me the bigger one. She meant well by it, like how a grandmother always gives her grandkids the bigger half of a pastry, but for me it did more harm than good. I would take it anyway, inhaling long drags of the stuff and pretending the smoke held the power to disintegrate my memories, my pain. I’d tell Tracey what happened. Every time it was a variation of the same story, with the same ending. She’d listen to me until I was done, until I’d finished crying and letting it all out. Then we would go back inside. She would make chamomile tea and serve it with oatmeal raisin cookies. I always had at least three because of the weed. Then we’d sleep in her big bed upstairs. When I’d wake up I couldn’t even remember the man’s face.

She kept forgiving me over and over again. She tried to teach me how to stand up for myself. She still does. But she also introduced me to drugs. I smoked pot with her but I found my way into other things in the bad parts of town. Coke. Heroin. I do them when I can do them, which is not very often. I can’t afford it and I can’t get out of the house enough anymore. I don’t think Tracey ever thought I’d become dependent on drugs. I know she only wanted to help me escape. But for me, weed was a gateway drug. It opened up a forest of dangers. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I don’t have the self control that she does. Now she’s trying to wean me off of it. But she’s trying to cut off one head of the hydra. I need to smite all three if I want to get over this.

I stare at myself in the mirror. My complexion, once ruddy and bright, is now sickly, with tired eyes, bruises and scars all over. All of this makes me look like a corpse next to the plump small-town beauties full of spirit and life. I am a ghost. I float through the hallways like a ghost. I haunt my bedroom like a ghost.

I wasn’t always a ghost. I used to take care of myself. I’d lost about fifteen pounds since my mother died. My dad’s cooking is shit. Even though weed makes me hungry I never feel the desire to eat anything because nothing tastes good. My brown-blond hair (God couldn’t make up his mind when he made me, you see, at least that is what my mother would to say) used to be shiny with a slight wave to it, now it’s matte, dull, falling out in clumps and frayed awfully at the ends. I want to die. I feel like if I am a ghost I might as well be dead. I think I started doing heavier drugs because of that. Because I want to die, but I am too much of a coward just to kill myself and get it over with. Part of me hopes against hope that by getting out of this house and hopefully out of this town that I will find some reason to live again. I don’t want to be a ghost. If I’m going to live the rest of my life as a ghost I want to make that life brief, tragic and wasteful, like the duration of a tea candle’s flame.

The black eye is still visible. I do not know how many times I’ve applied makeup to it. It’s still there, especially in brighter light. I pull out my tube of concealer and shakily squeeze more unto the back of my hand. The tube farts. It is empty. I begin to roll it like toothpaste, trying to urge the last drops out. A dismal portion exits the tube in another fart. I toss it in the trash and use what I have, religiously applying it to my bruised eye and giving a little to my unaffected eye, trying to make them match as much as possible. It doesn’t reduce the swelling or the pain, but it looks presentable enough. I wish I had some lipstick, anything to put some color in my face.

I am not sure what to wear for this evening. I do not know if this Eden’s Gate church is a “come as you are” sort of thing or if I should put on something a little more presentable than my oversized pajamas. I open my closet. . My father burned half my wardrobe when I missed my curfew by ten minutes one night. But he left the things that my mother passed down to me. Probably some of the few things left that still remind him of her. I find a light green dress she used to wear. Mamma was so pretty. I don’t think I’ll ever be as pretty as she. I put it on regardless. It zips easily, for its rather loose. Just six months ago it was too tight. I was afraid I’d break the zipper. Now there is no I fear of that at all. White lace adorns the sleeves and my cleavage. I debate pulling the neckline down or up.

It’s church, Rachel, I tell myself, Besides, no one will want to look at you anyway.

The last thought bites. It’s a personal truth. I look down and rediscover the scratches. I tug my dress at the back, raising the neckline.

Fortunately the doorbell rings just in time. I leave my bathroom and stop at the door to the hallway.

Once you’ve been in captivity, once you’ve been locked up alone with your thoughts for long enough, once you’ve accepted that you’re stuck, you don’t bother trying doorknobs anymore. You’re used to reaching that hard spot where it stops turning and opens nothing. It takes me a moment to touch the handle. I know it will feel cold. I know the distinct shape it has and how it will fit into the palm of my hand. What I do not know is whether or not it will open. It might reach that hard lock. I might’ve gone through all of this trouble and not be able to leave.

Knowing this, I twist, hoping for the best.

To my relief, it unlocks effortlessly and opens without so much as a creak. I head downstairs to greet my friend.

------

Sitting in the chapel in the ranch, I feel so nervous. My body shivers. My hands shake. My heart pounds. I do not know if it is withdrawal or what. But I am not completely at ease. The people here are disheveled. Messy. Somewhat gross. The kind of person I would become if I let my addiction keep its grip on me. They are the types that my father would advise me to steer away from, however in his current state he is more like them than he knows. I am more like them than he knows

A tall, fit man with a full, well groomed dark beard strides unto the stage in a flourish of applause. He completely contrasts the people sitting in the pews. He is nicely dressed, wearing a fitted blue silk shirt rolled up at the cuffs, black vest, and tight jeans. His belt buckle is exceptionally extravagant. A pendant of some sort hangs from his neck. The crowd cheers for him. He waves, flashing a million dollar smile and a glint in his bright blue eyes. He’s handsome.

I turn and whisper to Tracey, “If I knew that pastors could look as good as he does I would’ve come to church a long time ago.”

She smirks and holds back a giggle, “You’re terrible.”

“He’s hot,” I say, perhaps a bit too loudly.

“Shhhhhh!” She tries not to laugh, “Behave.”

“Who is he?” I ask as if I were inquiring about a handsome stranger across a bar, not a preacher at the front of a church.

“That’s John Seed,” she tells me, “He doesn’t give the sermon. He’s just the opening act.”

“There’s more of them? Tracey, you told me this was church, not that mythical place where all of the hot guys in Hope County disappeared to!”

“Rachel, shut up!” She giggles again, but then whispers to me, “Don’t get your hopes up. He’s as good as they get, well, looks wise.”

“Bummer. That means we’ll have to fight for him.”

“Rachel!”

Our laughter is camouflaged by the cheers and shouts from people in the pews, phrases like “Oh John!” and “We love you!” and “Praise our brother”. I observe the scene. Sometime during our banter two other people entered the stage. One, a very tall, burly, fearsome man with a long frizzy red beard and bloodshot beady eyes. He holds a large semi-automatic rifle close to his body, and scans the crowd meticulously for possible threats. Though he wears the uniform shirt of the U.S. army, his demeanor is not one of honor or pride, but of sickened, disillusioned duty. The other, a girl, with thick yellow curls and a bountiful bust contained inside a too-tight white dress. She has slanted, sultry green eyes. There is a whorelike, slutty quality about her despite her conservative dress. But she is undeniably beautiful. I self consciously remember looking at my own chest this morning. Scratches everywhere. Nothing to be proud of. I run my fingers through my mousy hair, wishing I’d washed it. The beautiful woman holds a bouquet of flowers, with several blossoms strewn throughout her golden locks. She smiles at John.

I roll my eyes out of jealousy and look at Tracey, motioning to the girl sitting on stage, “Don’t tell me it’s a wedding,”

She shakes her head, “Oh no, that’s his sister. Faith. I don’t quite know if marriage is a thing here or if they’re all about brotherly sisterly love or if it’s just one massive orgy. I have no idea.”

I laugh at her raunchy train of thought. This is the Tracey I love.

“And who is Mr. Scary over there?” I whisper, trying not to make it obvious who I am talking about.

“Oh, him?” She whispers back, “I don’t know...He wasn’t here last time. I don’t exactly know what the gun is for, either.”

“Maybe he’s exerting his second amendment right?” I tease with a horrible attempt at the stereotypical Hope County drawl.

She looks at me. It’s not funny. “Why do they even need guns?”

“Tracey. We live in Montana. Everyone’s got guns here.”

“I know… but something’s not right.”

I look around the room again, “Maybe his job is to stop desperate bitches like us from throwing ourselves at that hottie over there?”

She bursts out laughing.

Our conversation is interrupted by John’s voice, “Brothers and sisters, welcome!” he proclaims, arms outstretched.

Applause. Tracey and I join in. At the moment we are spectators, like flies on a wall carefully observing but not yet involved.

“I want to tell you,” he continues, “how wonderful it is to see all of these new faces in our home this evening.” His eyes find mine momentarily. I’m intimidated by his strong presence yet also trying my hardest not to swoon. “We hope that this is just the beginning of your march with us.

“I want you to think of the life you’ve led before now. Of all the pain, of all the hardship, of every road you’ve turned down that felt like a dead end. I want to assure you, brothers and sisters, that the ship you’ve sailed across a sea of hardship is about to dock. I give to you a new captain who will guide you to an island of paradise. My brother, your Father, Joseph Seed!”

The crowd stands, clapping and cheering, holding their hands up in praise. The church doors open, and the blazing golden sunset from the west illuminates the doorway, revealing the silhouette of a tall, broad shouldered man. The light comes through his yellow tinted glasses, creating two glowing dots on the ground in front of him.

He moves with a serenity. There is a comforting sense of peace, a radiance that surrounds him. His suit jacket fits him well. His long hair is tied in a small bun on the crown of his scalp. He carries a white book with the symbol of the Project etched in gold on the cover. A rosary is wrapped like a bracelet across his right wrist and palm.

I cannot yet see his face. I too am standing, on my toes, craning my neck around the people in front of me, squinting. Finally when he reaches the stage, he turns around, and the crowd goes silent. They return to their seats. I am the last to stay standing.

Our eyes lock like magnets. I do not need to hear his voice. He does not need to utter a single word. A look comes across his sullen, rugged face. He catches his breath. The room is completely silent. Time slows. My heartbeat pounds. He looks as though he has seen a ghost. I know I look like a ghost. Perhaps it is that I seem so weak and sickly that common sense says I should not be standing here, I should not be in this room. But I am. And I know, somehow, deep inside myself, that I am destined to be here. To meet him. His expression changes from one of shock to one of recognition, a longing for something far off in the distance which yet appears so near. A red string of fate ties the two of us together before either of us can object. But like some perfect private secret, I am afraid that anyone else caught on to it. As my awareness returns to the room, I sit. He swallows hard. I try to look away but I can’t. I’m already entranced.

He speaks right to me as he begins his sermon.

“It is fate that you have come here.”

His words are chilling. They pierce me.

Joseph continues, “It is God’s divine plan that you are here today. Whether you’ve devoted yourself to this project or if this is your first time with us, I tell you that you are here for a reason. This is no accident. This is no chance.”

His speech, though indirect and addressed to a crowd, feels so personal. It is as if despite all of the people in this room he is talking to me and me alone. I know that it is no accident, that it is no chance, that I am not confused. The connection I feel with him is mutual. In a sea of strangers I am seen. We see each other.

“Just as such,” he goes on, respectfully connecting with the others in the pews, “your existence, your very entrance into this world, your birth, your conception...all is for a reason.”

He cannot stand it long. Joseph looks directly at me again and reads my soul like an open book. “You who have felt lost, unwanted, undesired, and unnecessary to the world: have no fear. You have a purpose.” He assures me, “Your life is designed to have significance. Even when the road is foggy, when the path is untred and you know not which step to take, know that God has a destination for you. I have a destination for you.”

My eyes well with tears. For the first time since my mother died, I feel safe. Sheltered. Believed in.

His voice, like silk, his words, like music, envelope me. “When all doors have shut against you, when your friends and your families turn their backs on you, I will be standing here with open arms. I accept you, my children, just as you are. There is nothing you have to change. No one else you have to be. You are loved here, just as you are. And you have always been worthy of that love.”

I break.

When the people around me hear my sobs interrupt the silence of Joseph’s pause, they turn to me with a look of celebratory joy on their faces. A woman on my right with very few teeth and hair bordering on dreadlocks pulls me against her bosom and holds me. Two young men reach back from their seats in front of me and pat me on my shoulder. Now the entire church is watching me, overjoyed. Someone starts the applause.

I feel a new hand on my back from my left side. I turn, expecting it to be Tracey. But it’s not. It’s the woman in the white dress from onstage. The sister.

“Come with me,” she beckons.

I don’t know what this means. “Wh-why?”

I look at Tracey. For the first time she’s looking at me not as my best friend. She seems bitter, disgusted, as if I’m filth. Trash. Foolish. Petty. As if I had no soul.

Faith speaks softly to me, “The Father wants to meet you. Won’t you come up?”

I laugh through my tears, “I’m interrupting the service.”

“No no no,” she’s overbearingly gentle, “Please come up. Nothing would make us happier.”

“Go to the Father,” the woman holding me into her bosom says, lifting my torso towards Faith. I take the sister’s hand, and she walks me down the aisle towards The Father who awaits me by the altar.

When we reach it, Faith hands me over to him and returns to her seat.

His hands are smooth and cold. His eyes, up close, are a vortex behind his yellow glasses. Full of wisdom and peace, as if he had reached that Nirvana the Buddhists dream of. He’s good looking. Not in the way that John is good looking. John is the kind of untouchably handsome, out of everyone’s league yet inside every girl’s dreams. The Father is approachable yet with a true sense of authority, like all fathers should be.

“What is your name my child?”

Intoxicated by him, I forget it on the spot. “My name?”

“Your name.”

“Rachel,” I swallow, “Rachel Jessop.”

His lips turn up at the corners.

“Tell me, Rachel. What is making you cry?”

I search for the answer in his eyes and find it, “The feelings that your words are bringing me. Feelings of safety. Salvation.”

He holds my face in his hands, “Salvation from what, dear Rachel?”

Feeling all eyes on me, I choke up. “F-from my life. From my agony.”

He nods slowly, knowingly.

“And what gives you this pain?” He continues to hold my face so that I cannot look anywhere else except straight into his magnificent eyes. More tears come.

My next words are succinct, for I’m clinging to my composure. “My father and my brother beat me. I’m bullied endlessly by my peers. I don’t feel safe anywhere.”

He continues his knowing nod. “My brothers and I know intimately of your struggle. Don’t we?” He looks to John and Jacob.

I see John nod in my periphery, but Jacob makes no expression whatsoever.

Joseph’s left hand softens into a gentle caress, “What else, child?”

He pulls the words out of me, words I am sure I shouldn’t even say in front of so many people. “I abuse drugs for help,” the rest is a stream of consciousness through my tears, “I’m a rat. I rummage for anything I can get my hands on. I always thought I deserved this life… like I did something irredeemably wrong and my circumstances are a consequence. I take every blow and I let others take from me… but there is no hatred in my heart for anyone except for myself. I don’t blame them. I think it’s all my fault.”

He sighs, looking at me with pity and understanding, “What if I told you, Rachel, that none of it is your fault?”

This concept is foreign to me, “How?”

“The pain you suffer is not because of your own personal ills. If that we’re the case, why aren’t the money grubbers, the corrupt politicians and greedy business owners punished with the same abuses you experience?”

I look at him blankly, “I don’t know.”

“It’s society that is sick, Rachel. It’s the ills in society which are responsible for the pain and the suffering of the innocent. It’s not your fault. They don’t understand you, so they try to take you out.”

The clouds part in my mind. The sky is clear. I’ve never thought of it it that way. I never considered that I am not the problem.

“But here,” He touches my forehead to his. I adore the feeling. “Here you may be saved, Rachel. Here your differences are celebrated. Put to use. Here you can be fulfilled and you can be happy. That’s what this Project offers.”

The Project, on their cue, claps again, pleased with the power of their leader’s message. Joseph looks straight into my eyes. I feel his anchor sinking in to me. And I know I will follow him into the darkest depths of the sea.

“We will talk more, Rachel.” He says. I am passed back to Faith and seated beside her. She holds my hands tightly. Joseph continues his main speech to the rest of the crowd.

“The world as we know it, as we see it today, is full of fog. Clutter. Sin. Distractors from our destined path. My children, can’t you feel that the world around us today is not the world that God intended to create? You, like Rachel, who have found yourselves here today as a result of his divine plan must be aware, even if remotely, of this fact?

“Let me tell you: God is angry. God intends to wipe this world clean again, the way he flooded the earth allowing only Noah and his family to board the arc. We are once again approaching a storm. Which is why, my children, God spoke to me. He has called to me to reach out to all of you, to each and every one of you, that you might be saved. That you might be redeemed. That you might discover your purpose and follow the path which he has set for us. My children, won’t you take my hand? Won’t you take hands with me, my brother Jacob, my brother John, and my sister Faith and join us in our march to Eden’s Gate?

“You do not need to decide tonight. But I hope that at the very least, I have planted a seed.”

John is the first to laugh at his closing statement. Jacob again, has no reaction. As the crowd catches on, the chuckling grows. I myself laugh through my tears, but when I look in the audience, I see Tracey scowling.

---------

Crickets conduct their nightly symphony as Tracey and I walk through the long grass back to her pickup truck. She’s quiet, but her anger can be felt loud and clear. She’s walked a few steps ahead of me the whole way.

“Tracey,” I stop her, grabbing her hand.

I look into her dark eyes, those eyes that know more about me than any other soul on this earth. My closest and dearest friend.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

She scoffs, “What the hell happened between the two of you just now?”

I know she is talking about the moment I shared with Joseph, then my emotional breakdown and our uncanny closeness that took up a bulk of the sermon.

“I don’t know,” I tell her, “I haven’t quite wrapped my head around it yet.”

She crosses her arms for warmth, pulling on her long sleeve t-shirt. “It was...awkward- no, uncomfortable, no-- Rachel what the fuck was that? What the actual fuck was that?”

Suddenly I reread a beautiful chapter in my life as if it were some sort of vulgar oddity. I’m embarrassed. I look down.

“Look, Rachel.” Tracey sighs, “I know there are some things we don’t talk about. I know that everyone has got secrets. I just wish I knew before we came--”

I look up at her, confused. “Knew what?”

She swallows. “I shouldn’t say anything. Who am I to judge? I mean…”

“What are you trying to say?” I demand defensively.

“Nothing!” She puts her arms up and takes a step back from me. “Let’s just go home. Your dad is probably worried.”

“I don’t want to go home.” I tell her. It’s the truth.

She gives me a look of shock and confusion. “Rachel, these people…there is something not right about them. They’re apocalyptic. They’re all talking about willing to die for that man. It’s like they’re being brainwashed. Some kind of new age Japanese kamikaze squadron ready to blow themselves up! Not to mention they look like a bunch of crackheads.” She puts both hands on my shoulders and looks me straight in the eye, “I want you to get better, Rachel. I’m afraid these people will just-just exploit your addiction. They won’t heal you. They’ll make you worse.”

“At least I don’t feel like the odd one out!” I shout at her. I am more frustrated with the situation than with my friend. “I don’t know how much more I can take! I don’t want— No, I can’t go back to my dad, Tracey. I can’t go back to school. I’m already failing. It’s not like I’m going to graduate. I’ve got nothing! I haven’t eaten a proper meal in three months! What am I going to do with my life besides waitressing or prostituting myself or having some rich man’s kids? This place…” I start to tear up, “I know it’s not perfect but it’s better than what I have now.”

She scoffs. “You know that you’re better than that Rachel.”

I laugh, but I’m exasperated. “I don’t! I fucking don’t! I’m not like you, Tracey! I’m not smart! I can’t get a degree. I don’t have a mom who supports me and takes care of me.”

I’ve wounded her. “You know that’s not what this is about.”

“And you know what?” Tears stream down, “I’m not your fucking charity case.”

“Well what makes you think you’re theirs all of a sudden? What makes you think you’re his all of a sudden?”

So that’s it.

“You’re jealous,” I call her out.

She laughs it off. “Sorry, Rachel. I’m not jealous of your forty-something schizophrenic preacher boyfriend.”

Our argument becomes petty, like that of two bratty schoolgirls, the kind of people we have never been before. “He is not my boyfriend.”

“Oh really?”

“Why would you even say that?”

“Well you sure seem pretty close don’t you?”

“I don’t know what happened!” I yell. “I never met that man before tonight! You heard me on the phone! I had no idea who this group was or what they do!”

Her mouth twitches. “Well you’re a damn good liar Rachel.”

“I’m not lying!”

“You’re trying to tell me that the little scene you made back there wasn’t planned?”

I shake my head. “I don’t see how it could be.”

“And I don’t see how it couldn’t be.”

“Tracey!” I try so hard to get through to her, but nothing is working, “I’ve never lied to you! Not once in all these years!”

She’s quiet.

“Why don’t you believe me?”

She sighs and looks away.

I know that she is jealous. But I realize in that moment that she is not jealous of what happened to me tonight. She’s jealous because she can’t believe that I can find peace and happiness in a different place, that I can find it with people other than her.

“They aren’t trying to fix me,” I say with an angry, disillusioned certainty, “All you ever do, all you ever talk about is trying to fix me. You believe that I’m broken. You want me to be broken so you have something to do with your life besides sit in your nice fucking house with your nice fucking family. All I want...for God’s sake all I want is to feel like I have a purpose. I don’t want to be someone else’s purpose, Tracey. I want to be my own purpose.”

Tracey continues to avoid looking at me. She glances in different directions, looks at the ground by her feet. “So that’s it, Rachel?”

“What’s it?”

“You’re just going to throw our friendship away?”

I want to shake her. “What? No! Tracey that’s not what I said!”

She glares at me. “I’ve been here for you. I’ve fought for you for the last three years. We’ve grown up together. I’m sorry that’s not enough.”

“Tracey!”

She’s running to her truck. I try to follow her, but my lungs and legs are weak.

“Tracey!”

She’s too fast. I feel dizzy. My vision starts to blur. I try to pick up speed.

“Tracey I didn’t say that!”

She doesn’t turn around. She doesn’t look back. Gets in her car, starts the engine. The lights turn on and she speeds away.

I watch her tail lights fade. I’m sick of the taste of my own tears. I’m sick of this life. I drop to my knees and grip the grass as hard as I can with my fists. I scream into the blue night sky. What is the way? Where is the path? What is my life supposed to be? Who am I now that I have no one? I can’t walk home. I don’t want to walk home. I could call a cab but I don’t have any money.

If I go home, I don’t know if I will ever get out of the house again.

I hear Joseph’s words in the back of my head. I remember them almost verbatim: “When all doors have shut against you, when your friends and your families turn their backs on you, I will be standing here with open arms. There is nothing you have to change. No one else you have to be. You are loved here, just as you are. And you have always been worthy of that love.”

I turn around, take a deep breath, and run back to the ranch. It glows with warm light from inside. It’s the only light I see.

#far cry 5 #faith seed #far cry fanfiction #far cry 5 faith #fc5 #joseph seed #fc5 fanfic

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theo-loves-broadway · 7 years ago

Text

You Matter To Me

Ok, so I wrote this and already put it on AO3, but I know some people can’t comment/leave suggestions there, so I’m putting it on Tumblr! I’ll leave it underneath a cut so those who don’t want to see it can merely scroll through without seeing a block of text.

Also, this is based on the promo for the next episode (2x19 or 2x20, i think), and the song Jonah sings is You Matter to Me from Waitress the musical.

Jonah could hear the hammering of applause for the act right before him, a magic act. He'd peering through the black curtains from offstage, all his heavy breathing being absorbed by the thick fabric. Setting his guitar down on the stool, he placed a hand over his chest, his heart high-fiving him at an alarming speed.

Breathe, Jonah, breathe he thought to himself, attempting to calm himself down in vain. Telling himself to calm down was only going to make him focus on calming down and how he couldn't do it and how hard his heart was beating and how quickly he was breathing and--

"Jonah?" a voice pierced the air, Jonah snapping out of his runaway train of thought. It was the leader of the recital, Mr. Galen, approaching him with a sense of urgency. "You're up next, kid," he stated, taking a look at Jonah. His cheeks were red, and sweat beads began to form at Jonah's hairline. "Is everything okay?" he asked, a sliver of concern in his voice.

You're fine, you're fine, you're fine, Jonah mentally reminded himself, before meeting Mr. Galen's gaze. "Oh, yeah, dosh, err--yeah, I'm fine. A little nervous, but fine," he added quieter, as the previous performer gathered his things and exited stage left. Man, was it that obvious that he was freaking out? He reached his hand up to his forehead and swiped at his hairline, his sweaty palms picking up the excess moisture. Gross, he thought, puffing out a breath of air. Just a few minutes on stage, and then you're done. Just a few minutes, he repeated mentally, shakily reaching for his guitar.

Mr. Galen gave Jonah a pat on the back before telling him "Don't worry, Jonah. You've been practicing for weeks, and I know you know the song. Heck, you could probably play it in your sleep!" he joked, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he walked away.

"And now, guys, gals, and non-binary pals," began the announcer, her microphone a little too close to her mouth for Jonah's comfort, "I'd like to introduce the one, the only, the--" she paused, squinting at the card in her hand, "--the, uh, docious magocious...Jonah Beck!" she finished, shaking her head in confusion. This earned a snort from Cyrus in the crowd. He was so proud that his best friend was facing his fears head on--and that he used docious magocious to describe himself; THAT was golden.

The guitar nearly slipped from his hands as he ambled on stage, each step feeling like it was in slow motion. Blinding lights reflected off of his guitar as he made his way to the stool, scooting onto the cold seat. Jonah fiddled with the strap of his guitar for what seemed like ages before he found a comfortable length. Tentatively pulling the microphone closer to him, it let out an ear-piercing shrill, and he immediately let go of it, letting it fall to the ground. Murmurs swept through the audience like a wave, and Jonah could only focus on how everything was going wrong before things even started. He hadn't said a word, hadn't played a single chord on the guitar, yet everything was going downhill fast. He slid down from the seat and grabbed the microphone and its stand. Quickly, he peered into the audience and saw his friends sitting in the back of the crowd; Andi, with Walker by her side, Buffy, and Cyrus. Instantly, he felt his nerves relax knowing that they were there, knowing that they would support him no matter what. Cyrus gave him a thumbs-up, earning a weak smile from Jonah, his heart hammering in his chest. But...oddly, enough, he didn't feel as anxious anymore. Can my heart just calm down, please? Jonah thought to himself, walking up to the seat after propping up the microphone.

"H-Hi, I'm Jonah Beck and I--" he stuttered, before he was cut off by whooping from the back of the crowd

"Yeah, Jonah! Jomamala, you go!" Cyrus cheered, with Andi cutting in with some "knock 'em dead"s, and Buffy hiding her face, pretending she didn't know these people.

Flushing, he chuckled weakly before continuing on. "Y-Yeah, I'm Jonah Beck and I'll be performing a cover of You Matter To Me from the Broadway musical Waitress," he finished, a hush falling over the crowd. Deep breath, Jonah. Relax, he thought to himself, positioning him for the first few notes. Then he began to play, and everything felt right. Everything else went away; all the nerves, all the anxiety, even the sweaty palms. After a few chords, he started to sing:

"I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes They've seen things that you never quite say, but I hear Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you And I'll stay there as long as you let me"

Jonah's voice flowed like silk, his plucking smooth and soothing. Taking a peek into the crowd, he looked in the back to see his friend's expressions. Andi was leaning on Walker's shoulder, her gaze fixated on him. Oh no, oh, no, no, no, nonono Jonah thought, replaying the chords between the verses once more so that he had time to process his feelings. Keep going, keep playing, go, go go go go he chanted in his mind.

"Because you matter to me Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody You matter to me I promise you do, you, you matter too I promise you do, you see? You matter to me"

Jonah couldn't help looking over at his friends again, but this time he tried to not focus on Andi and Walker. Peering over at Buffy, she looked...intrigued, to say the least. Her lips were slightly parted, as though she was not expecting him to be this..good? Or maybe this bad? Did she think that he was bad? Oh, gosh, she thought he was terrible and-- Breathe, stop. It's fine, just relax, focus on the chords, Jonah reminded himself, moving onto the coming verses.

"It's addictive the minute you let yourself think The things that I say just might matter to someone All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away And for the first time I think I'd consider the stay

Because you matter to me Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody You matter to me I promise you do, you, you matter too I promise you do, you see? You matter to me"

This was the last verse before the ending; he'd made it this far, so he could make it to the end. He was on to the longest guitar riff with chords and plucking, which he'd worked on for weeks to perfect. Jonah stole one last look into the crowd, ignoring Buffy and Andi and Walker. Cyrus sat in front of the rest of the group, sitting on the edge of his seat, his hands gripping onto the edge of it. His mouth was moving slightly, as he mouthed along to the words. Figures, since Cyrus was--err, is , a huge musical fan. Jonah smiled softly at him, comforted merely by his presence. Cyrus, who always made him feel wanted, and safe, and supported. Cyrus, who was always there for support, like at the Space Otters pancake sale. Oh, no, oh my gosh, breathe, relax, stop thinking so much, Jonah instructed himself, breaking the gaze with Cyrus to focus on the last few lines.

"I promise you do, you see You matter to me"

Jonah played the opening chords a few more times to finish it off, ending it with a gentle strum of the strings, before gently gripping them to stop their vibrations. Glancing at the crowd, the lights seemed brighter than before. Suddenly, after a few moments of silence, the crowd erupted into applause, and he exhaled. He had faced his fears and performed in front of people. Peering at the back row, he saw a few people standing up; first Cyrus, then Jonah, and then Andi and Walker. Jonah couldn’t shake the inevitable pre-panic attack feeling; the ground felt like it was going to give out beneath him, the walls felt like they were spinning. Quickly, he ran offstage with his guitar, his footsteps becoming silent in the raucous applause.

He shoved the guitar into its case, snapped it shut, and burst into the bathroom, immediately gripping the cool granite counter tightly.

“Calm down, breathe, relax, it’s over, you made it,” he murmured to himself, trying to steady his breath. The room had stopped reeling, but it felt like he couldn’t catch his breath. Why, why, why? What the heck is happening? He tried to dissect why he was feeling the way he was. Let’s see; he had looked at Andi and Walker in the first few verses of the song, but that feeling of panic had worn off. This feeling was at the end. Cyrus was the last person that Jonah had looked at, but... wait. Cyrus. It was Cyrus. Cyrus’ smile, and his glittering eyes, the look of happiness when he heard what song Jonah was performing, everything.

“I like Cyrus,” Jonah squeaked, almost unable to admit it to himself, unconsciously loosening his grip on the counter. Then, his heart sunk. Oh, no. Cyrus, I can’t, I-I can’t.. , he tried to think clearly, but came up short. Panicked fragments were all that he could form. Before he felt like he was going to faint, he rushed into one of the stalls and leaned against the door, trying to catch his breath.

“Do you--think he’s okay?” Andi asked tentatively, breaking that silence that surrounded the group. Other performances had come and went, but it felt like they were frozen in time.

“I’ll--go and check up on him,” Cyrus suggested, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Do you want us to come with you?” Buffy offered, worry flooding her eyes.

“Nah, that’s okay, I think I can manage. B-but if I need more support, I’ll text you guys, okay?” he assured them, slipping his phone into his pocket and sneaking backstage as one of the performers finished their act.

“Jonah?” Cyrus called out, before being shushed by Mr. Galen.

“These walls are paper thin, and people can hear what you’re saying,” he warned, sternly glaring at Cyrus.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know. I was just looking for Jonah. I--wanted to tell him what a great job he did,” he admitted, trying to find a way to not sound like this was a big deal.

“I think he ran into the bathroom,” Mr. Galen supplied, scratching his head, “That boy has talent, but, man, his nerves must really get to him,” he added, walking away to see the next performance.

Cyrus scanned the narrow hallway and found the boy’s bathroom, quickly walking in. The door creaked behind him, and closed a little louder than he wanted it to.

“Jonah?” he called, his voice echoing in the room a few times before the silence settled in once more. “Jonah, please, I know you’re in here!” he added, followed by more echoes. After a few seconds, he heard one of the stall doors creak open, and so Cyrus gently tip-toed towards it. Jonah took one small step outside of the stall, his head hung low as his fingers clawed into his hands.

“Jomamala, that was awesome!” Cyrus tried for some comic relief, but Jonah was silent, his knuckles growing whiter and whiter as he clenched his hands tighter and tighter. Cyrus, noticing this, gently put his hand on Jonah’s shoulder. “Hey,” he started softly, the echoing negligible, “you can tell me anything, Jonah. You know that right?” he croaked, his heart breaking for him.

Jonah slowly lifted his head, and Cyrus could audibly hear his heart break. Jonah’s eyes were bloodshot, red, and puffy from tears. His face, which was normally all smiles with his trademark dimples, was wet and flushed. He looked completely and utterly defeated, as though he had lost a game he hadn’t even played.

“Jonah,” Cyrus whispered, worry settling in, “Jonah, you’re scaring me, what’s going on?”

“I-nothing, Cy Guy, it’s all good,” his voice breaking as he went on, a plastered smile on his face. But Cyrus wouldn’t take this for an answer.

“C’mon, man, I know you better than this. You’re not okay, and I kinda need you to tell me why so I can use my Space Otter powers to fix it,” he murmured, cracking a weak smile from Jonah. The two of them took a seat on the granite counters and it was silent for a few minutes, before Cyrus spoke.

“Is this about Andi?” Cyrus asked painfully, knowing darn well that it was most definitely about Andi.

Jonah thought about it for a while. Was it about Andi? He’d initially picked this song for her, since that’s what Bowie had suggested. He’d spent days rehearsing to a photo of him and Andi in his room to try and mimic what it would feel like in front of her. When he performed, he felt a twinge of jealousy when he looked at Andi and Walker, but that died relatively quickly. So, was this even about Andi?

“N-no,” Jonah admitted hoarsely, mentally beating himself up for not just lying and telling Cyrus what he wanted to hear.

“No?” Cyrus repeated, the word tasting strange. “I mean, I was pretty sure that it was about her, dude,” he countered, drumming his fingers on the granite.

“Cy--I, can’t--can’t,” he choked out, feeling like he was going to break down right then and there. He physically couldn’t spit out the words he wanted to. They were banging on his teeth trying to escape, but he swallowed them.

Cyrus felt a lump in his throat, and a warm, tingly feeling rush through him. He put his arm around Jonah, trying to comfort him.

Jonah felt his whole body melt. Oh, gosh, you really fell for him, didn’t you? he mentally scolded himself, taking a deep breath. “Cy, th-the song,” he started, wincing as he spoke, “it-it wasn’t about Andi. . .it was about you,” he said quickly and near silently, his heart threatening to leap out of his chest and run out the bathroom door.

Deafening silence filled the bathroom, save for the gentle hum of the lights. I’ve ruined it, I ruined it, I ruined it, it’s over, over, over, over, Jonah kept thinking to himself, his breathing quickening. Oh, no, it’s happening, he panicked, his breathing becoming laborious. Cyrus quickly took note of this, and nonchalantly took Jonah’s hands.

“Jonah, listen. I need you to breathe with me, okay? In for four, and out for eight. With me,” he instructed, leading Jonah through some breathing exercises, until he had almost fully calmed down.

“Th-thanks,” Jonah squeaked, looking down at their hands, intertwined. Jonah’s face was red from the heavy breathing, but having the Cyrus Goodman hold his hands wasn’t helping.

“Hey, Jonah?” Cyrus said softly, his eyes misty with tears. Jonah soon became a blur of colors before him, but he could still make out all his important features.

“What?” Jonah whimpered, his hope gone, his eyes cold and dark. No longer did the gentle flame of happiness thrive. Cyrus released one of his hands from Jonah’s, and his heart sank into his stomach. Of course he doesn’t like me, of course, of course, of course, Jonah decided, prepared to curl up into a ball. Cyrus gently took his hand, his index finger curled underneath Jonah’s chin, sending a shiver down his spine, and brought his face closer, until their noses were barely an inch apart.

“I like you too,” he whispered on his skin, leaning in further and kissing him, gently, and carefully, as to not startle him.

The next thing Jonah knew he was locking lips with Cyrus, and the rest of the world fell away; nothing else mattered. All the hardship, the jealousy, the panic, the anxiety, it was all a distant memory. After a few seconds, he begrudgingly pulled away for some much needed air. Cyrus let his eyes flutter shut and reopen, his smile small, but his cheeks a bright pink.

“Why? Why me? Why not someone else?” Jonah, asked, his low self-esteem getting the best of him.

Cyrus took Jonah’s hands in his own, and looked him in the eyes. “Because you, matter to me. Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody. You matter to me, I promise you do, you matter to me. I promise you do, you’ll see. You matter to me,” Cyrus continued, his words becoming more musical by the moment. Jonah smiled that classic smile, his dimples seemingly deeper than ever. He threw his arms around Cyrus, and Cyrus carefully wrapped his arms around Jonah, the two of them staying there for a few moments, lingering.

“I should also say that your performance was insane, and I loved every second of it,” Cyrus added with a small giggle, and Jonah’s smile grew.

“Like I said--err-- sang . You matter to me,” Jonah reminded him, the two of them leaving the bathroom hand in hand.

#andi mack #you matter to me #waitress #jyrus #please reblog!

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calcidekudine · 7 years ago

Text

out of my head of my heart of my mind

out of my head of my heart of my mind katsudeku. explicit. part one. also available on ao3. warnings: A/B/o dynamics

Katsuki's heat arrives as it always does, a slow and insidious burn. It begins low in his belly and creeps outwards, warring with the quick explosions he is used to, a fire he can control with a thought and a twitch of his hand. He has always hated his heat. He is disturbed by his helplessness, his intractable responses; it is why he has taken suppressants since the onset. The drugs made him sluggish for a few days, but sluggish was better than the uncontrollable alternative.

This time, however, when the base of his spine begins to itch, Katsuki does not take his suppressant. He stares at the pill pack—a ten day long ritual that he has taken every three months for the last seven years of his life—then gently sets it back in the medicine cabinet behind his mirror.

It is impulse, yes. But it is also a plan that he has let form in the back of his brain and, with this gesture, allows to finally take shape.

"I’m going into heat," Katsuki tells his agency supervisor, later that day between first and second shift. If his supervisor is surprised to hear such a thing, she does not show it. Instead, her face remains blank, and she asks,

"When?"

"In a few days," Katsuki informs. "A week at most."

His supervisor nods. "Do you need accommodations or services?"

"No." Katsuki does not elaborate. Giving his idea voice leaves a sour taste in his mouth. His instincts tell him that he isn't wrong—that nothing could possibly go wrong—yet the small possibility that he may fail stills his tongue.

"Thank you for informing us," his supervisor says. "Send me a text or an email when it comes, and we’ll have your shifts covered."

Katsuki nods once, rises from the comfortable chair, and leaves to begin his shift. There is nothing left to be said.

Patrol passes slowly. He wanders the streets with his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face, and stubbornly ignores the ever-present tingle at the base of his spine. He gets a few odd looks from passing alphas; they tilt their heads up and inhale deeply, their diaphragms pushing out with the effort. He makes eye-contact with each one that dares to smell him, flashing his best glare and smirking when they skitter.

It is no secret that Katsuki—that Ground Zero, one of the highest ranking heroes of his generation—is an omega. He knows some people are curious about his predilections, especially since his demeanor is not the purported ideal of omegas.

Katsuki doesn't care. He's never cared. His secondary gender and his ability to have children doesn't dictate how he behaves. The only person who gets to decide what Katsuki can and cannot do is Katsuki himself, and everyone else can hang.

Night falls. Katsuki stops at several food carts, buying skewers of charcoal-cooked meat. He is ravenous, chomping down twice as much as he normally would. He stops himself before he feels the bloat of fullness, having learned the hard way that being full on patrol is worse than being a little hungry.

As the moon rises in the sky, Katsuki wanders out of his assigned district and closer to the warehouses. His destination is a familiar, medium-sized office building. When he gets there, he launches himself into the air. Flying is as effortless to him now as breathing, and he lands gracefully, boots heavy on the rooftop. It is dusted with gravel, as many business buildings are, and the tiny pebbles grind together beneath the balls of his feet.

Crouched on the building edge, another hero stands. His costume—black with green accents—blends in with the darkening sky. A long white cape flutters from his broad shoulders. He hops down from his perch and chirps, "Kacchan."

"Deku."

"What are you doing here?" Izuku tilts his head. "I thought you had sector D-4 today?"

"I do," Katsuki responds with nonchalance.

"Bored already?"

Katsuki shrugs. Takes a step closer to Izuku. And another, and another, until Izuku’s nose twitches—

Until he inhales sharply—

Until his eyes widen—

Until he gasps, "Kacchan."

Katsuki tilts his head to the side, purposefully exposing the length of his neck. He used to think it was a submissive gesture. That it was weakness. He hated the thought of it. Baring himself to another person that way—it was unfathomable.

Now, when he does it, he realizes how wrong he was. It is not weakness he feels, but power. How easy it was to capture Izuku’s attention, to hold it.

"Are you...?" Izuku chokes.

"I didn’t take my pills," Katsuki announces as he steps boldly into Izuku's space. "It will be here soon."

Izuku’s uniform is stretched skintight over his throat and Katsuki watches the way his larynx contracts around a dry, strangled whimper. It thrills Katsuki to his core. People like to believe that alphas are the strong ones, but Katsuki—an omega—has reduced Izuku to incoherence in less than a minute with no more than a gesture and his scent.

"Kacchan," Izuku pleads. Each syllable scratches relief down Katsuki’s spine. "Are you asking me to..?"

Katsuki stands still. Waits. He can feel the strain of his silence as much as he can sense the tension in Izuku's body. He wants to laugh, victorious, triumphant. He refrains. Instead, he leans forward, curls a gloved hand around Izuku's thick side, and all but purrs,

"If you think you can."

Katsuki is off the roof before realization can dawn in Izuku’s muddled brain. It amuses him more than it should and, this time, when his laughter bubbles in his throat, he lets it escape.

On his second day of pre-heat, Katsuki spends most of his morning eating and readying his small apartment for the week to come. He cleans all his spare sheets, pushes all the furniture against the wall, and makes sure the few material items he has are tucked safely away. He goes to the store to buy packs of supplement bars and bottles of water. He even picks up a couple bags of Izuku's favorite snack, a sentimentality he tries not to think about as the cashier rings him up.

Thus prepared and with some time to kill before his shift, Katsuki picks up his phone and texts Kirishima. Though they work at different agencies, they've retained their friendship by meeting up at least once a week, going to cheap dive bars to drink excess amounts of alcohol and consume unhealthy amounts of fried food. Sometimes it's just the two of them. Sometimes it's with their coworkers or old classmates. Either way, Katsuki knows he won't be able to meet up with Kirishima later in the week because of his heat.

Briefly, Katsuki considers lying about why he can't make it. He isn't ashamed of his heat, but that doesn't mean he wants to talk about it. Still, he knows that Kirishima will eventually figure out the truth, and lying will only delay the inevitable.

"Such bullshit," Katsuki mutters as he jabs a message out.

BK won't be able to go out this week have my heat

Unsurprisingly, Kirishima texts back in less than a minute.

KE ur going off suprressants??? IS EVERYTHIGN OKAY

BK fucking calm down i'm fine just didn't take them

KE ok ok i just hear a lot of horror sotries and its not like u to just not take them WAIT did u meet someone???? UR SHARING UR HEAT WITH SOEMNEO ARENT U

BK fuck, shut up, i'm not fucking some fcuking stranger just deku

Katsuki's phone rings almost immediately and Katsuki contemplates not answering. He doesn't want to listen Kirishima yammer. But, as with the texts, he knows that it will be better to just get it over with.

"What?" Katsuki answers with a snarl.

"Midoriya?" Kirishima barks over the phone. Katsuki cannot see his best friend's face, but he can imagine it perfectly: eyebrows high, mouth slack, rapid blinking. "Really? And you want to just—just like that?"

"Whaddya mean, just like that?" Katsuki shoots back. "Isn't that how it fucking works?"

"I mean, not really," Kirishima blurts. "I mean—in a more traditional sense—in some circles—before people learned that it was, you know, wrong to force omegas that were heated into relationships that they didn't actually want—"

"I'm not fucking heated." Katsuki may be warm, yes, but even he knows his symptoms are a small portion of what awaits. His hormones aren't clouding his judgment and he won't pretend he's oblivious to why he wants to spend this heat with Izuku. In his softer moments—in those quiet spaces when Katsuki can be alone and honest—he thinks that he and Izuku have been building towards this since they were children. "I'm not fucking stupid."

"I know you're not. It's just—have you guys even gone a date? Hell, does he even know you like him like—you know, more than a friend?"

Katsuki smirks. "If he didn't, he's about to."

"This is a terrible idea," Kirishima mutters.

"So is your shitty haircut," Katsuki retorts, but there's no heat in the insult. He doesn't expect Kirishima to understand. There is so much history between him and Izuku, both good and bad, that it's difficult for other people to understand their dynamic.

"I know you won't, but you should still probably talk to him." Kirishima heaves a long-suffering sigh, the exhale distorted into mechanical pieces by the phone. "Who knows? Your relationship with Midoriya is complicated on the best of days. Maybe I'm just overthinking it."

"That'd be a fucking first."

And because Katsuki is an asshole with nothing left to say, he disconnects.

KE YOU STILL NEED TO TALK TO MIDORIYA

BK fuck off (middle finger emoji)

Katsuki had his first heat midway through thirteen.

Like many first heats, it was short—barely scraping past two full days—but it felt so much longer. He remembers shaking through it, his muscles cramping as his body ached. Thirst and hunger were suspended as his dick stayed hard and slick leaked down his thighs. He jerked himself raw with one hand and stuffed his fingers inside himself with the other. He wriggled on his bed, rucking up the sweat-and-slick damp sheets, and whined. He cried and begged and felt incomplete.

When the worst of his heat passed, Katsuki ignored his still wobbly legs, got out of bed, and marched into the shower. He turned the water up as high as it would go and scrubbed the disturbing lack of control from his flesh. Then, once he pulled on a pair of fleece pajama bottoms and the softest shirt he owned, skin still hypersensitive, he stormed into the kitchen and demanded to be taken to the doctor.

Neither of Katsuki's parents protested. He was taken to the family doctor that afternoon, given a routine physical and asked several invasive questions, which Katsuki answered as a snap or a snarl. Eventually, the doctor gave him one of the stronger prescriptions. The suppressants didn't negate all the effects of heat; instead, they muffled them. Katsuki got hungry and hot for a few days, then incredibly horny for another, but it never compared to that first experience, where he laid on his mattress, writhing and gasping for an inexplicable more.

Because of this, Katsuki has never shared a heat. He's had sex, several times with several different partners, yet he never felt compelled to share such an intimacy with any of them.

Izuku is different. Izuku will take care of him. Izuku will take care of his heat, of his body, of his heart. Not just because Izuku is a good alpha and Katsuki is a needful omega, but because it's him.

And this—this is why Katsuki left his suppressants on the shelf.

He trusts Izuku.

Katsuki's shift is long and uneventful. He spends a majority of it stalking up and down his assigned sector, his dark scowl and clenched jaw guaranteeing a wide berth. His pre-heat has gone from ignorable to frustrating in less than a day, and still he knows that his symptoms are not the worst of it.

After his shift ends, Katsuki all but runs back to his agency. He bursts into the empty locker room; throws off his gloves, gauntlets, and mask; peels his skintight shirt off his torso; opens his locker and—

Sitting innocently atop his civilian clothing is an enormous, store-bought bento with a note taped to the thin plastic lid.

The bento isn't special. It contains a pile of plain white rice, several thick rolls of tamagoyaki, and a handful of tempura-fried jumbo shrimp. But there's a lot and Katsuki is starving. He scarfs it down, untasting, leaving the note unread until he has devoured all but a few stubborn grains of rice. He picks it off and unfolds it.

I can do it, it reads.

Though there is no signature, Katsuki knows who it's from. The scratchy handwriting is long-familiar and traces of musk linger on the paper. Katsuki brings it up to his nose and inhales deeply. His whole body throbs in anticipation.

Deku.

With a smirk, Katsuki refolds the slip of paper.

next >>

#katsudeku #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #my fic #out of my head of my heart of my mind

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verdigrisprowl · 7 years ago

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Oct 30 Dancitron Movie Night - Dog Soldiers

Soundwave was in a holomatter avatar in his pre-flier frame with impressive tires. Prowl 1) could barely pay attention to anything else all night, and 2) still managed to figure out one of the movie’s major plot twists.

Today Tarantulas 7:41 pm *guess who's been invited over early - it's everyone's favorite science spider friend! he pops into dancitron ready to roll, not sure who'll be meeting him downstairs but not really minding. he's got a CLUB to DECORATE.* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:44 pm Zori is the only one downstairs right now, sporting a tiny copy of Starscream's crown and purple cape. He's also got a miniature scepter held tightly in one claw and is waving it to and fro, humming to himself. He waves to Tarantulas - and then to the twins' choice of decor.

You know. Things like 'paper chains' made of old tire tread; honest to Primus trophies from some of Frenzy and Ravage's hunts in the Underworld; automated bits of (fake) injured or dying mechs 'phased' into the walls, courtesy of Bevel and Buzzsaw; creepy Unicron-purple lighting; energon cubes painted black to show off the glowing, anguished faces of popular multiversal Autobot and Decepticon officers carved into them...

#hi! #C: Tarantulas 7:49 pm *tarantulas snickers at the decor* Hello, Zori - just LOOK at this, lovely, lovely. How can I be of service? ItsyBitsySpyers 7:52 pm He's being a brave, brave scorpion tonight. Soundwave said that bad things don't REALLY happen on this Earth holiday, and anyway, the spider isn't coming near. Yet.

#Rumble and Frenzy said #um #they want spiderwebs #please #and you could have some extra snacks #... #but not by me #okay? Tarantulas 7:55 pm Aww, how generous. *yes, tara's keeping his distance, he knows how skittish the scorp is around spiders. tara starts scoping out the room* It sounds like a perfectly suitable proposal. It'll take me a little while, but we have time, I believe. *tara always does shit last minute, he's good* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:57 pm #we do! #...so #um #um um #I am going to check snacks #yes

Nope. That's it. The bravery ran out. He's heading to the bar, where there are lots of things to hide behind. And he'll be there while Tarantulas works, up until others start trickling in. Tarantulas 7:59 pm *tarantulas does his best to shush his own snickering* Please do. *and he's off to work - sizing up to reach the ceiling with ease and delicately trailing silk around the room. there are a few quick but full spiderwebs here and there too by the time he's done* Tarantulas 8:02 pm *the fact that the silk shimmers and glints in the dim lighting is totally intentional, also. quite eerie, and also sticky to the touch* Swoop 8:04 pm *bounds in, painted head to toe in black, with his bright gold goggles on* Bird? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:05 pm *Rumble and Frenzy are the first to come dancing downstairs, already admiring Tarantulas' work. Frenzy touches a silk runner, gets some stuck to a finger, and makes a grossed out face while laughing.*

*If you think something's off about them, you're right. Frenzy is all blue with red and white feet. Tonight, he'll be Sonic. Rumble's gone all red with white accents, spiny finger joints, and green and yellow magnetic patches. Obviously, he's Knuckles.* //She ain't ready yet, heh. Whatcha got the goggles for?// Swoop 8:06 pm Bird said goggles. And BLACK! Her get, uhh, other stuff. ((i <3 this musical)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:07 pm ((WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY i woulda dragged you to it saturday with us)) FakeProwl 8:07 pm ((IS SWOOPMUN WITHIN DRAGGING DISTANCE?)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:07 pm ((YEAH)) FakeProwl 8:07 pm ((I DID NOT KNOW)) Swoop 8:07 pm ((aww how was it?)) FakeProwl 8:07 pm *appears; for a moment, his optics widen in obvious worry. Dead people and ripped treads, the glow of dark energon, what happened in—?* Swoop 8:08 pm ((Dude, this is possibly my favorite musical. I've seen student productions, but not a professional one.)) FakeProwl 8:08 pm *Oh. decorations. it's fake.* Bevel 8:08 pm ((it was really fun aside from a couple cringy stereotypes mostly left out of the movie FakeProwl 8:08 pm ((yeah, if you've seen student productions then you've probably seen the icky parts already)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:10 pm *Where was the mun. Oh yes!*

//Ohh, the big - yeah, hold on. I think she got it with her.//

*Rumble nudges his brother.*

\\BIIIIIIIIIIRD\\ FakeProwl 8:10 pm ((other than that tho it was a lot of fun. the dentist SERIOUSLY hammed it up, he was a load of fun.)) Tarantulas 8:10 pm *across the room, tarantulas steps back from one last silken thread and crosses his arms, looking around* Hmm. Satisfactory. FakeProwl 8:11 pm *Looks around for Soundwave, can't find him, looks at Tarantulas instead. He's clearly involved.* What's all this? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:11 pm *And in floats Laserbeak, all red, black, and gold, with a fake wide tail on. Those who remember the Civil War movie might recognize Falcon's drone, Redwing. She's got a big yellow beak mask in her feelers for Swoop.* Bevel 8:11 pm *trundles in transformed to look like Alphonse from FMA and stops to admire all the awesome work on the room* FakeProwl 8:12 pm *IS THAT ANOTHER LEAGUER* Swoop 8:12 pm *giggles and holds out his hands for the mask* You Bird all Dinobot colors! Tarantulas 8:12 pm Oh Prowl, didn't you know? It's /Halloween/. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:12 pm *How much does Bevel know about FMA? There's a beige Chimera in feline mode walking downstairs. And there's a lot of long, brown wires on its head and back, presently serving as a creepy mane...* FakeProwl 8:12 pm *IT IS A TALLER-THAN-AVERAGE-HUMANS METAL PERSON, IT'S CLEARLY ANOTHER LEAGUER* Magnum Ace 8:13 pm ((on mobile. it kinda sucks FakeProwl 8:13 pm ... Oh, right. It HAS been a year, hasn't it. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:13 pm {{Yes, yes! Me Bird best Dinobot, got costume present.}} *Holds out the beak. Chimera makes a beeline for Bevel and offers a big, doofy smile.* Swoop 8:13 pm You Bird have fire breath? Kehhehhehhh ItsyBitsySpyers 8:14 pm {{Boss say when Bird mad, Autobot audials burn~}} Swoop 8:14 pm KEHEHHHEHHH Him mean You Bird YELLING Bevel 8:14 pm Nina! *not sure if amused or horrified but she can recognize Chimera under the mane and kneel down to greet them* Tarantulas 8:15 pm (( NINA 💔 ItsyBitsySpyers 8:15 pm <<Yes! Chimera is the Sad Monster.>> FakeProwl 8:15 pm ((nina is one of only three things i know about fma)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:15 pm <<Can Chimera sit with the Bevel?>> Magnum Ace 8:15 pm ((oh my god, snek no ItsyBitsySpyers 8:15 pm ((SUFFER)) Tarantulas 8:15 pm (( is one of the other ones hughes Bevel 8:15 pm You make a very good Sad Monster. Yeah! We gotta stick together. *grins* Magnum Ace 8:15 pm ((EVIL Bevel 8:15 pm ((I like that we accidentally got two FMA costumes here FakeProwl 8:16 pm ((i don't remember the /name/ hughes, but if he's very sad then yes he's one of the ones i know about)) Tarantulas 8:16 pm (( VERY very sad Magnum Ace 8:16 pm ((he is Bevel 8:17 pm ((Bevel is the suit of armor kid https://i.pinimg.com/originals/28/96/14/289614067ed1c67319858376013f5ae2.png

FakeProwl 8:17 pm ((yes, that's why prowl thinks she's a leaguer)) Bevel 8:17 pm ((lol Prowl FakeProwl 8:17 pm ((because that's not a cybertronian)) ((and prowl apparently has no object permanence around bevel)) Bevel 8:17 pm ((Most bots don't, it's ok Magnum Ace 8:18 pm ((actual leaguer will show up when I get my com back ItsyBitsySpyers 8:18 pm ((YAY)) Bevel 8:18 pm ((yay Tarantulas 8:18 pm *tarantulas is gonna stretch and strut over to prowl, putting his paws on prowl's shoulders from behind* Yes, the one day of the year I can simply be myself, hyeh. Gargantuan spider? No questions asked. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:19 pm *The slow drip of mechs down the stairs continues. This time, almost literally. Buzzsaw comes in splattered in fake human blood and globs of congealed paint made to look like gore.*

*Behold: the chainsaw in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.* Magnum Ace 8:19 pm ((did I mention rabbit on mobile sucks? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:19 pm ((it really does)) Magnum Ace 8:20 pm ((yuuup FakeProwl 8:20 pm *Right. If there's another leaguer here and it's possibly Prowl's fault, he'd better go over and deal with it.* FakeProwl 8:21 pm On the other hand, it means you're one of the only people here who isn't in costume. *Briefly squeezes hand over Tarantulas's paw.* I need to talk to one of the guests, I'll be right back. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:21 pm *Ravage is next. He doesn't seem to have anything different about him. At all.* Tarantulas 8:21 pm *snickers, allows prowl to go, with a mandible-bump kiss on his head* Bevel 8:22 pm *glances up when Ravage appears and...* Are you not wearing a costume tonight? Magnum Ace 8:22 pm ((poor prowl ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm *He stares at Bevel and scoffs. Loud.*

=I am Bagheera. OBVIOUSLY.=

*Flops and turns his back on her.* FakeProwl 8:22 pm *Leans into the kiss, then heads over to what is /apparently/ a new leaguer.* Are you lost? Bevel 8:23 pm *...laughs* Sorry! You look awesome. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:23 pm =Mm.=

*That's better.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:24 pm ((FIVE MINUTE WARNING)) Bevel 8:25 pm *sudden Prowl approaches! she used to bots not recognizing her so she takes the question pretty well* I do not think so. It is me, Bevel. I am just /wearing/ a costume. FakeProwl 8:25 pm ......... Right. Okay. Good. ... Very convincingly alien. Swoop 8:26 pm Me Swoop am COMEDIAN — Plague doctor Swoop for Halloween Me Swoop am COMEDIAN — Plague doctor Swoop for Halloween - Plague doctor Swoop for Halloween Bevel 8:26 pm *smiles happily* Thanks! Swoop 8:26 pm ((quick scribble)) ((of the borb)) Tarantulas 8:26 pm (( GOOD Bevel 8:26 pm ((creepy, i love it ItsyBitsySpyers 8:26 pm ((that's GLORIOUS)) FakeProwl 8:27 pm ((oooo)) Swoop 8:27 pm ((babbe needs minimal edits when he is an actual twig borb)) *puts on his mask and looks up at Bird for a reaction* Tarantulas 8:28 pm *tarantulas is gonna take the opportunity to transform into literal spider mode. probably should PRETEND he's costuming it up* FakeProwl 8:28 pm *Goes over to take his usual seat. Unless Tarantulas has claimed it; in which case he'll scoot Tarantulas over.* Tarantulas 8:30 pm *nope, he's just nearby! tarantulas is gonna climb on top of prowl as soon as he sits though, like a mastiff trying to sit on a human's lap* Fuck You Rabbit 8:30 pm ((I will fucking kill rabbit)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:30 pm ((HERE ARE TONIGHT'S WARNINGS: Violence and gore, foul language, sexist language, faked animal cruelty, vomit)) FakeProwl 8:30 pm *It isn't working.* Shrink a little. Fuck You Rabbit 8:30 pm ((I STG I'm going murder it for holding me hostage until I created an account)) Fuck You Rabbit 8:31 pm ((sorry don't mind me just. ticked off at this stupid website that refuses to let me be a guest????? argh.)) Tarantulas 8:32 pm *some chittering* That's no fun. Hmph. *does it anyway, downgrades from mastiff to lapdog* Swoop 8:32 pm Bird bird *bounces on his toes* bird FakeProwl 8:32 pm *now prowl can hug better. isn't that an improvement?* Magnum Ace 8:32 pm ((here we go! I am on my com! Bevel 8:32 pm *will find a good place for her and Chimera to sit* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:33 pm *And the host is finally here. Someone only about 18 feet tall, very broad, and thickly armored is silently striding down the stairs and over to the couch where Prowl and Tarantulas are parked. Those who have seen Soundwave in the frame so helpfully dubbed "Hot Wheels" might recognize it... sort of. Tonight, it's in shades of black, grey, and red, supposedly for the holiday. And it looks every inch the gladiator he'll be telling most people he is tonight.* Fuck You Rabbit 8:33 pm *finally, the dragon arrives! she looks tired. she also has a cart, a legitimate CART, of goodies with her! they're individually wrapped in a glittering paper-like substance, and they're shaped like energon crystals! thin crunchy shell on the outside, sweet liquid center on the inside! she's also wearing the most hideously green, tacky dragon costume. the tags indicate that it's supposed to be for Earth dogs of some universe. the security device hanging off the tags indicate it was stolen.* Magnum Ace 8:34 pm -and don't mind him. He's had this happen enough times that he doesn't even pause this time- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm [[He apologizes for being late. There was a malfunction with one of the feeds. Help yourselves to fuel.]] Swoop 8:34 pm *can't stop touching the mask* Magnum Ace 8:34 pm -what does make him pause is the /decorations/ and everything else- FakeProwl 8:34 pm *glances at soundwave. double takes.* Swoop 8:34 pm *what is on his faceee???* *does not evne a little bit captuer the appropriate body language for a creepy plague doctor, even if he has the look* Tarantulas 8:35 pm *that voice - must be sw. but he thicc, wat* Fuck You Rabbit 8:35 pm *looks around, and kind of hesitantly drags the cart over with the rest of the treats* Hello everyone! FakeProwl 8:35 pm *you know those scenes in movies where the main character sees the love interest All Dolled Up for the first time, usually as said love interest is walking down the stairs so that the camera can slowly and lovingly pan up over their body?* *that's prowl's brain right now* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:35 pm *Laserbeak swoops over to... Swoop, and whirs approval of his scariness. Chimera settles on Bevel's lap and gets ready for a nap, not quite into horror.* Fuck You Rabbit 8:35 pm ((puff u dork)) FakeProwl 8:35 pm ((true)) Bevel 8:36 pm *yay lap cat... er, dog monster... thing* Magnum Ace 8:36 pm ....what...happened here? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:36 pm *Rumble and Frenzy are all but scrambling over themselves to get to the dragon and the cart full of snacks.*

//Wait, so, ya... ya came as a weird you?//

\\...I KINDA LIKE IT.\\ Swoop 8:36 pm *flops backwards onto the sofa and giggles* You Bird ready for big fight ItsyBitsySpyers 8:37 pm {{No, but him Boss is.}} =A holiday, Earthling.= Fuck You Rabbit 8:37 pm Isn't it tacky! *the dragon is DELIGHTED by her hideous costume* I thought it fit. Swoop 8:37 pm Boss? *sits up and looks for Soundwave* ...... oh! Him BIG now. Bevel 8:38 pm It is my birthday tomorrow too! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:38 pm {{Noooo, him short, haha.}} Swoop 8:38 pm BIG. *holds his hands out to his sides, clearly the word we are looking for is 'wide'* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:38 pm [[Then we will give you a gift tomorrow, Bevel.]] Magnum Ace 8:38 pm ...Oh. I didn't think you would...well, the decorations are really in the spirit of the holiday FakeProwl 8:38 pm ((that's a waste of a perfectly good k-9 unit.)) ((it takes over two years to train up a dog that can track people.)) Bevel 8:39 pm ((srsly ItsyBitsySpyers 8:39 pm *Soundwave takes his usual seat next to Prowl.*

*...And, giving the tiniest glance over, causes one of his glowing red shoulder wheels to spin slowly.* //We like this holiday.// \\WHOLE THING FOR SCARIN'! HOW COOL IS THAT?\\ FakeProwl 8:40 pm *That wheel has ALL of Prowl's attention.* Tarantulas 8:40 pm *tara knows that wheel-spin was for prowl, but it absolutely caught his eye. and his other eye. and his other -* Magnum Ace 8:40 pm It is a fun holiday Fuck You Rabbit 8:40 pm I like the part where people give out treats, myself. *the dragon fluffs herself up proudly* But, of course I would. Swoop 8:40 pm *grabby hands at bird* Bevel 8:41 pm I like that everyone can be anything! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:41 pm {{That best part, snack.}} *Bird lets Swoop scoop her up* Swoop 8:41 pm *has a Bird* <3 Magnum Ace 8:41 pm -right, time to get off the floor- Bevel 8:41 pm *can't get snacks with lapful of Chimera hmmmm* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:41 pm {{You Swoop see others? Them got mech-cooties?}} Swoop 8:42 pm What cooties?? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:42 pm {{Germ! Virus! Nanoflea!}} Fuck You Rabbit 8:42 pm *well, snack is here, and set up, so the dragon will bring some over to Bevel and Chimera and settle herself down nearby* Swoop 8:42 pm Yah! Kehhehh. But them doing??? Tarantulas 8:42 pm *hhhmm. tarantulas... is going to leave prowl to it, escape the lap, and skitter off across the room toward the snacks* Magnum Ace 8:42 pm ((what would happen if you gave a leaguer energon?)) FakeProwl 8:43 pm ((you're the leaguer, you decide)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:43 pm *Chimera pats the dragon gently with one paw before resuming their power conservation mode* *Soundwave pings Tarantulas. Well done on the spider webs, there.* Bevel 8:43 pm Thanks! Tarantulas 8:43 pm *double ping back - kinda gives the impression of HEE HEE* Magnum Ace 8:43 pm ((heh Bevel 8:44 pm *appreciates snacks yay* Swoop 8:44 pm *tries to pat tara when he goes by* Magnum Ace 8:44 pm ((brb ItsyBitsySpyers 8:44 pm {{Them do nothing, just gross. That all.}} Fuck You Rabbit 8:44 pm *the dragon pats back, and offers the treats to Bevel* You're welcome! *her paws are bandaged! and it looks like her face points are darker than normal under the tacky green dragon hood* Swoop 8:44 pm Gross gross *nods* FakeProwl 8:44 pm *Prowl doesn't notice Tarantulas leave. He might not have noticed the movie's started.* Swoop 8:44 pm You Bird not gross. Noo! You Bird BEST. Kehhehh. You go trick or treat. All treat! AND! All trick kehhehhhehh. Bevel 8:45 pm *accepts the snacks and asks quietly* Are your hands ok? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm *Soundwave appears to still laugh the same way. It's more visible in this frame, but it's just as quiet. He stops spinning the wheel.* Tarantulas 8:45 pm *rears up at swoop on his back leggies if the plague doctor tries to pet him more* Swoop 8:45 pm *if swoop wasn't paying so much attention to Bird, he'd be yelling come at me bro at tara..... give him a minute* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm {{Us go trick others afterward, yes, yes! ... Heh heh, funny spider trick.}} FakeProwl 8:46 pm *oh no it's charming* Fuck You Rabbit 8:46 pm They'll be fine! Experiments in cybertronian cuisine have their dangers. But at least I was wearing safety goggles. Swoop 8:46 pm Funny spider trick?? *lost* Oh Spider *points at Tara* Tarantulas 8:46 pm *spider is already out of arm's reach, thank primus* Swoop 8:46 pm *throws a pillow* Bevel 8:47 pm You have to be really careful with energon, yeah. Tarantulas 8:47 pm *SPLAT. flat spider* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:47 pm *Rumble and Frenzy park themselves and giggle. This reminds them of missions with everyone all together, sorta.* Swoop 8:48 pm kehehhehhh Tarantulas 8:48 pm *pretty soon the spider's twice the size of the pillow and is giving swoop eight stink-eyes* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:48 pm [[Swoop. Don't be rude.]] Pause. [[Are you all right.]] Swoop 8:48 pm *chirps* : > ItsyBitsySpyers 8:49 pm //Heh!// Tarantulas 8:49 pm Perfectly fine. I'm not so fragile that a PILLOW - hyehehe. *is giggling at movie, spiderwomen* Bevel 8:49 pm *giggles* Swoop 8:49 pm TWO pillow Fuck You Rabbit 8:49 pm *the dragon is giggling at Tara giggling about spiderwomen. a mobius laugh* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:50 pm @Prowl: (txt): Arm allowed behind Prowl? Magnum Ace 8:50 pm -and he's making an attempt to get into a chair- FakeProwl 8:50 pm @Soundwave «Please.» ItsyBitsySpyers 8:50 pm //Hey, Magnum Ace! Or, uh. Is Mags okay?// FakeProwl 8:51 pm *Oh. Wait. Greeting/permission ping.* Swoop 8:51 pm Spider Spiderbot ItsyBitsySpyers 8:51 pm *Buzzsaw suddenly looks uncomfortable at the bit about exploding and being scooped up.* Magnum Ace 8:51 pm Ace is fine if you don't want to call me Magnum Bevel 8:52 pm ... ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm *It passes quickly. Soundwave nods to Prowl and drapes his arm around Prowl's shoulders, curling his claws tight. Good strong hands. Tiny squeeze of affection.* //Ace. C'mon up, you could sit with us.// FakeProwl 8:52 pm *Scoots RIGHT up against soundwave's side.* Swoop 8:53 pm *bats Bird* Bird, bird. Why them all blanks? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:53 pm {{It war game, not real fight. Practice.}} Swoop 8:53 pm Oh practice Practice fun : > Paint rounds more fun than blank Fuck You Rabbit 8:54 pm Unless you're expecting a date, dead animals being flung at you isn't a good sign. Swoop 8:54 pm then you SPLAT shoot brothers kehhehh ItsyBitsySpyers 8:54 pm @Tarantulas: (txt): Tarantulas returns? Swoop's pillow: new seat? @T: (txt): Prowl: shareable space. Magnum Ace 8:55 pm Thank you. -okay, going up with the others- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm //I'm with the dragon. Great sign if ya ARE expectin' dates though.// ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm {{Them not paint. More fun if paint, Swoop right.}} FakeProwl 8:55 pm *For a moment strongly considers laying a hand on Soundwave's thigh. But no. Not with guests around. Laces his hands and keeps them in his own lap instead.* Swoop 8:56 pm Us get paint, kehhehhh, then practice fight! You Bird fast BUT Swoop am bomber kehhhhhh. Me Swoop fast TOO! Fuck You Rabbit 8:56 pm The bigger the dead animal, the better the date! Except some of the sea snakes. Those tend to not die. Tarantulas 8:57 pm @Soundwave: ::Physically shareable, maybe, but I do believe he's wholly mentally occupied at the moment. Hyeh.:: @Soundwave: ::Besides, I'm busy.:: *he's eating a snack bowl now* *like not actually tho* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm @T: (txt): Then request: personal. ... When finished. {{You Swoop need biiiiig paint.}} Swoop 8:58 pm Bucket ItsyBitsySpyers 8:58 pm ((i remind you all that youtube videos are shit on LD/SD on rabbit and going to HD will let you see actual color and details)) Swoop 8:59 pm Spiderbot Spider Tarantulas 9:01 pm *turns away from snack bowl, grumpy* Yyyyes? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:01 pm @Prowl: [[He sees you approve of his costume. It was the fourth most frightening thing he could think of.]] Swoop 9:01 pm Where You Spiderbot costume go? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:01 pm \\SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME TO ME.\\ FakeProwl 9:01 pm @Soundwave «... Should have gone with one of the first three. I'm not finding myself particularly frightened.» Tarantulas 9:02 pm What do you mean? Hyeh. This IS my costume. Swoop 9:02 pm That You alt mode 😆 Tarantulas 9:03 pm Yes, but I'm quite the monster myself. No one ever said we couldn't come as we are - and I certainly fit the theme. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:03 pm @Prowl: [[He doubts appearing as Unicron in this environment would have gone over well.]] Pause. [[And he supposes that makes sense. You /did/ like the idea of him having been a senator, when he first told you.]] Swoop 9:04 pm You not a monster. You a spider. Kehhehhhheh. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm //How fraggin' fast was he runnin'!?// ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm \\GUESS IT DON'T MATTER NO MORE. HEH.\\ Swoop 9:04 pm Her Carly say alt mode not costume. Her say Swoop can't can't CAN'T be pterodactyl for Halloween. Fuck You Rabbit 9:04 pm *the dragon blinks* Faster than he should have been, I think. Tarantulas 9:04 pm Well obviously Carly's a spoilsport. Bevel 9:04 pm Can humans run that fast? Swoop 9:04 pm And. And! Her Bird get *pats his mask* Her Bird get for Swoop :? *: > Nuh-uh! No. Carly not a spoilsport. Carly steal grenades. That not spoilsport thing! Kehhhehh. Magnum Ace 9:05 pm -yup he's mildly uncomfortable with the movie- Fuck You Rabbit 9:06 pm *unnerved expression* That. That is not how intestines should work. What is wrong with humans. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:06 pm {{You not say her Carly steal. Her arrested?}} FakeProwl 9:06 pm *... Supposes he can't deny that.* @Soundwave «Is that your costume, then? Senator S—er.» *WHAT HAD HIS NAME BEEN.* «... Ssssoundwaver? No. That's wrong. I know that's wrong.» ItsyBitsySpyers 9:07 pm //Don't worry, li'l mech. It's fake scrap. Rubber or whatever.// FakeProwl 9:07 pm @Soundwave «SOUNDBANGER. ... No. I'm sorry.» ItsyBitsySpyers 9:07 pm *Another 'laugh'.* Swoop 9:07 pm No. Her Carly steal stuff from Autobot armory. Me Swoop not see. Me Swoop not there. But Me hear story! Her steal from armory and go swim down to Decepticon base - Nemesis - to blow hole in it. Salt water. FakeProwl 9:07 pm *... do that and you're just encouraging him to get it wrong.* Fuck You Rabbit 9:08 pm I'm sure it's fake. Just... you can't. Shouldn't. Whatever. *tries to pat her fur back down* Magnum Ace 9:08 pm !!! ItsyBitsySpyers 9:08 pm @Prowl: [[Soundblaster. And to you, yes. To them, his gladiator mode in 'scary' colors.]] <<Should not what?>> Big blinking grey eyes. Swoop 9:09 pm Spider SPider FakeProwl 9:09 pm @Soundwave «Soundblaster! These are "scary" colors?» Tarantulas 9:10 pm I have a name, you know, Swoop. Swoop 9:10 pm Spiderbot Fuck You Rabbit 9:10 pm *the dragon takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down* There's some-. Well. Don't worry about it. Just reminded of some old records I had to shelve when I was still fledging. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:11 pm @Prowl: [[To humans. Frenzy has told him that their decorations for this holiday are black, orange, and red.]] Swoop 9:11 pm You Spiderbot bring snack bowl - no no snack BOWLS - you bring snack bowls to Bird and Swoop : > FakeProwl 9:12 pm @Soundwave «Ah. Thematically appropriate.» Tarantulas 9:14 pm You're not convincing me very well. What do I get out of this? Swoop 9:14 pm Dunno Swoop 9:15 pm Me Swoop want goodies. And Bird eat AAAALLL the goodies forever ever ever. So. More goodies : > ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm {{Neheheh. Is good plan.}} Swoop 9:16 pm (( o m f g )) Fuck You Rabbit 9:16 pm ((bad dog)) Swoop 9:16 pm ((this dog)) *looks at tara and points at Bird* Her Bird say "good plan" ItsyBitsySpyers 9:16 pm //Groooooss.// Tarantulas 9:16 pm Nope. *tarantulas is going back to his own bowl* Swoop 9:17 pm *blows raspberries at tara* Magnum Ace 9:19 pm -he's just going to watch the movie and cringe a bit- -not too fond of it- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:20 pm *Frenzy nudges Ace with a fist. It's cool, little mech. They got your back.* Tarantulas 9:20 pm *can't physically blow raspberries back at swoop but he might've if he could* Swoop 9:20 pm *sets Bird on his crest and gets up to go get goodies* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:20 pm *The twins scoot forward on their seat, looking forward to some good fighting.* Swoop 9:21 pm *grabs one free bowl (full for bird) and then makes a grab for Tara and his bowl* *MAXIMUM dinobot candy grab* Tarantulas 9:22 pm *swoop snatches/pulls a spider leg. WHUMPH. lorg spider flat on the ground* Swoop 9:22 pm *picks up tara under his arm and takes him along with the candy back to the sofa* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:22 pm [[SWOOP. PUT HIM DOWN.]] Swoop 9:23 pm Why? why? Fuck You Rabbit 9:23 pm *the dragon takes a moment to get up, stretch, and pace around bevel before settling back down. her fur is Maximum Poof.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:23 pm [[He is a living mech. Set him down.]] Magnum Ace 9:23 pm -leans with the nudge, blinking- Hmn? FakeProwl 9:23 pm ... Bridge time? Swoop 9:23 pm ????? *is so very confused what being alive has to do with being picked up* Tarantulas 9:24 pm If you bridge him, you bridge ME *hisses* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:24 pm ((fun fact: the sargeant's actor actually was drunk here and cooper's actor accidentally landed the punch and really knocked him out. that was an "oh god is he okay" rl check they kept in)) Fuck You Rabbit 9:24 pm ((holy shit)) FakeProwl 9:24 pm ((omg)) Fuck You Rabbit 9:24 pm ((that makes this like 100x better omfg thank you crow)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:24 pm [[You are not allowed to manhandle the guests. Set Tarantulas down. Or he will come separate you.]] Magnum Ace 9:24 pm ((awesome Tarantulas 9:25 pm *shrinks down and escapes* Swoop 9:25 pm *whines* It not MANHANDLE. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:25 pm *Or that.* Swoop 9:25 pm ??? Fuck You Rabbit 9:25 pm ((boi put that sword down before you chop your head off)) Swoop 9:25 pm *is down a spider but has two candy bowls and a bird, seems like a win* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:26 pm *Soundwave shakes his helm and stretches a feeler out to get another bowl for Tarantulas.* Tarantulas 9:26 pm *one of the bowls is mostly slurry tho. tara injected it with dissolving venom* *u don't wanna eat that, swoop* Swoop 9:26 pm *pours it on the floor* *still keeps the bowl* Magnum Ace 9:26 pm ...meant to ask. What are those? -and he's pointing at the snacks- Swoop 9:26 pm *a victory for dinobots everywhere* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:27 pm *Primus damn it, Swoop.*

*Soundwave bridges him out for bothering Tarantulas and making a mess.* Swoop 9:27 pm :V Fuck You Rabbit 9:27 pm I made the crystal-looking ones! I think they'll be tasty. You should eat them? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:27 pm *And uses the feeler to get some cleaning supplies and clean while he sits.* Swoop 9:27 pm *takes the bowl with him* Tarantulas 9:27 pm You didn't need to do that, Soundwave. *minor hiss* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:27 pm *Laserbeak goes with Swoop. They can bother the Autobots there.* Swoop 9:28 pm *yayyyy!!* Magnum Ace 9:28 pm Are they safe? I mean, for me? Fuck You Rabbit 9:28 pm I... *the dragon looks over at Soundwave* I don't know? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:28 pm [[He has told Swoop not to damage the premises.]] [[...And he does not know if they are dangerous. What do you normally fuel on, Magnum Ace?]] Magnum Ace 9:29 pm ...Oil? FakeProwl 9:30 pm ... Right. *Points at screen* The family that's lived here for generations are the werewolves. That's why they're out of the house and that's why there's multiple when only one was expected. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:30 pm *Nods to Prowl. Indeed.* Fuck You Rabbit 9:30 pm What I made are energon, and silver. Ironically, considering the topic! But, uh. Can you eat that? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:31 pm [[...Perhaps the scientist in the room would know better?]] Bevel 9:31 pm I know Cybertronians that drink oil. Magnum Ace 9:31 pm I don't know. I've never heard of energon FakeProwl 9:31 pm *Okay. That's enough paying attention to the movie for now. Caaasually looking at Soundwave and his tires again.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:32 pm *Takes to rubbing the back of Prowl's shoulder with his thumb. Now, now. He'll spin them later.* FakeProwl 9:32 pm *He doesn't have to spin them for them to be fascinating.* Tarantulas 9:32 pm Logical fallacy - just because he drinks oil as well doesn't mean he can drink energon. I highly doubt he'd stomach it well. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:33 pm (( i love the werewolf shooting back)) Fuck You Rabbit 9:33 pm The scientist has spoken. What sort of things are candy to you, Ace? FakeProwl 9:33 pm I thought energon was widely substitutable for many alien fuel sources? I don't know if that applies to Earth fuels, but... Magnum Ace 9:33 pm ...We really don't have many. Some softer metals Bevel 9:34 pm Sword! Tarantulas 9:34 pm ...Hm. Actually, go on and try some, will you, Magnum? FakeProwl 9:34 pm ((I like how seamlessly he switches to hammering the hand)) Tarantulas 9:34 pm A sip won't hurt. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:35 pm ((spoon is great)) Magnum Ace 9:35 pm Ah...well...okay? Tarantulas 9:35 pm Or a nibble, if you'd like. If you can consume soft metals, most of the snacks should be amenable. Magnum Ace 9:35 pm ((and yes, that was hilarious Bevel 9:36 pm ((the hammering the hand scene is one of my favorite bits Swoop 9:36 pm ((OH MY GOD)) Fuck You Rabbit 9:36 pm ((yeah he deserved that)) Magnum Ace 9:36 pm ((whooops FakeProwl 9:36 pm ((he brought it on himself)) Magnum Ace 9:36 pm ((yup Maybe one of the snacks? -he's kinda hoping there's enough metal in there to keep any danger to a minimum- Fuck You Rabbit 9:37 pm *the dragon gapes a grin and passes one of her creations over to Ace* I hope you like it! Tarantulas 9:38 pm *there's like a 50% chance it'll make him sick but magnum won't die at least* *somethin like that, heh* Bevel 9:39 pm My creator is a doctor. We can go to them if you react badly. Fuck You Rabbit 9:39 pm *tara you have to say that before convincing the dragon to help you science* Magnum Ace 9:39 pm Thank you...-stares at it for a moment. Has a feeling this is going to bite him in the butt later- -still breaks off a piece to try- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:39 pm *Soundwave is... iffy about this test, but if Magnum Ace is going to be coming here, he has to know. They'll have to be prepared in case he gets stuck some day.* Magnum Ace 9:41 pm -crunch. and then a hacking cough as it hits. no damage, but wow, he thinks he knows what an energy drink is now- Fuck You Rabbit 9:41 pm Was it good? Tarantulas 9:41 pm *good thing it's hard to tell when a spider's laughing* FakeProwl 9:42 pm ... Hold on. So, she--who was liaison to the spec ops team--told this team freely that there's multiple werewolves, and that they hunt together to take down single targets. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:42 pm [[Yes?]] Magnum Ace 9:42 pm -one hand is covering his face, the other is flapping uselessly at the dragon- F-fine. It was...fine. I'm fine. FakeProwl 9:42 pm But when they found the one spec ops survivor, he said something about how "there was only supposed to be one." ItsyBitsySpyers 9:42 pm *Still petting. Maybe digs his claw in to tease some.* [[He did.]] Bevel 9:43 pm ...Maybe she did not know then? FakeProwl 9:43 pm It's possible that, by that, he meant that they'd been attempting to peel off one f-from— *ooh, keep that up.* from the group to hunt it. Fuck You Rabbit 9:43 pm *the dragon twists around a bit to keep Ace within sight* Tell us if you start feeling weird. Or sick. FakeProwl 9:44 pm But it seems more probable to me that she gave false information to the spec ops team. Bevel 9:44 pm Why would she do that? FakeProwl 9:44 pm Where was she during the fight with the werewolves? Was she fighting them? I didn't notice her fighting them. *Admittedly, he WAS distracted.* Magnum Ace 9:44 pm I'll do that...not weird...more like a sudden surge of energy Fuck You Rabbit 9:45 pm It is called Energon. FakeProwl 9:45 pm She's one of only two houses in the area. The other house they're in is probably occupied by a family of werewolves. She might be friends or allies with them. Windchill 9:45 pm (( Aw man I thought this might be Dog Soldiers. Best. )) Magnum Ace 9:46 pm I figured. Just didn't figure it would hit quite so hard... Windchill 9:46 pm *Appears, takes note of the...decor, and creeps into a seat.* Tarantulas 9:47 pm *alright, tara's done with snacking and messing with aliens, he might as well come back to the couch* Windchill 9:47 pm *Raises eyebrows.* Bevel 9:47 pm Oh no. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:47 pm *Soundwave nods to Windchill and then digs a second claw into Prowl's shoulder. A reward for guessing well.* Windchill 9:48 pm The wariest wolves... ItsyBitsySpyers 9:48 pm @Prowl: [[Sharp guessing. Nicely done.]] Magnum Ace 9:48 pm -he's sitting and putting his face in his knees, still feeling it- FakeProwl 9:49 pm @Soundwave «........ Was it?» *he's too distracted by the claws to tell if the movie confirmed his guess.° ItsyBitsySpyers 9:49 pm *Soundwave bobs his helm to Tarantulas.* Tarantulas 9:49 pm (( i love debussy hhhh. this movie gains points (( also.... clair de... lune... ItsyBitsySpyers 9:49 pm @Prowl: [[It will be.]] *He'll let Prowl be for the moment now that Tarantulas is back. Arm still around shoulders, but no claws.* (( 😄 )) Windchill 9:50 pm *snorts.* Gotta hammer fast. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm *Rumble taps Ace.*

//...You gonna be okay?// Magnum Ace 9:51 pm Ask me again in ten minutes ItsyBitsySpyers 9:51 pm //...Okay.// Windchill 9:52 pm *Chin, meet hand.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:53 pm \\...NO OFFENSE, BUT THESE AIN'T WHAT HUMANS THINK'RE CUTE 'N FUZZY.\\ Tarantulas 9:53 pm *tara comes up the back of the couch, where to sit, where to sit* Magnum Ace 9:53 pm -he's hoping he'll be good in ten- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:53 pm \\THEY'RE KINDA... KILLER 'N SNARLY.\\ Chuckle. \\I MEAN, *I* LIKE 'EM. BUT, Y'KNOW.\\ *A feeler taps Prowl's leg. Down here will do.* \\OOOOOH.\\ Windchill 9:54 pm The werewolf is coming from inside the house. Fuck You Rabbit 9:54 pm Oh. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:54 pm //Ha!// Windchill 9:54 pm Dead? No? Fuck You Rabbit 9:54 pm That's going to look lovely coming up. FakeProwl 9:54 pm *Twitches. Leg touches, now? In the middle of the movie?* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm *He wasn't thinking about that one. Do forgive him.* FakeProwl 9:55 pm *............ go on.* Windchill 9:56 pm Is she a werewolf too? Fuck You Rabbit 9:56 pm Why would they assume that werewolves- yep. Tarantulas 9:56 pm *hhhmm. into prowl's lap, methinks* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm *That's what he was tapping and hoping for. Tarantulas will get an idle feeler pet if he wants one.* Tarantulas 9:57 pm *yis pls* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:58 pm //...Do ya think the dog's one?// FakeProwl 9:58 pm *twitches. Oh. Hi. Runs his fingers through Tarantulas's fuzz. A bit rougher than usual.* Windchill 9:58 pm ...Not the dog. I hope. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:58 pm //...Do dogs turn into humans?// ItsyBitsySpyers 9:58 pm //If they get bit, I mean.// Bevel 9:58 pm *giggles* Fuck You Rabbit 9:58 pm That would be funny! Windchill 9:59 pm Don't think so. Windchill 10:00 pm Ooooh, fire? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm *Soundwave carefully avoids looking at his deployers at that line. That may be part of command, but he'd rather avoid it from now on. If possible.* Windchill 10:00 pm It's a shame Swoop is missing it. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm [[He was here earlier.]] Magnum Ace 10:00 pm -might be turtling a bit- -okay, a lot- Windchill 10:00 pm Man, his loss. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm *Pooooke.*

//...Yo, mech. Do ya need a medic?// Fuck You Rabbit 10:01 pm *looks over at Ace* You good? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm //Cause yer lookin' kinda... like slag.// Magnum Ace 10:01 pm Huh? No, just the topic Windchill 10:01 pm Gotta go fast. FakeProwl 10:01 pm *Sobers, for a moment. Yeah. That's command.* Tarantulas 10:01 pm *don't think tarantulas doesn't notice the roughness, heh. amusing* Magnum Ace 10:01 pm It's not one I like to think about Windchill 10:01 pm *Snorts* Beautiful. Fuck You Rabbit 10:02 pm *giggles* That's one way to do it. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:02 pm \\RUN FASTER, MEATSACK!\\ Windchill 10:02 pm I didn't see any wary wolves in there. Uh huh. *Snorts.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:04 pm ((never did like that speech)) FakeProwl 10:04 pm ((eugh)) ((The Real Threat Was Women All Along. nah. fuck that.)) Magnum Ace 10:05 pm ((sheesh Fuck You Rabbit 10:05 pm ((the real threat was bad writers)) Magnum Ace 10:05 pm ((couldn't have done anything better? FakeProwl 10:05 pm ((periods are scary and bitches be crazy. really? y'all had a solid werewolf movie until you pulled that rubbish out.)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:05 pm ((i usually just fast forward about 30 seconds and pretend they ate her instead)) Magnum Ace 10:05 pm ((yup Tarantulas 10:05 pm (( ^^^ i like that better FakeProwl 10:05 pm ((same)) Windchill 10:06 pm He's dead. Magnum Ace 10:06 pm ((yup ItsyBitsySpyers 10:06 pm ((HERE WE GO BEST BIT)) Windchill 10:06 pm Nice. Fuck You Rabbit 10:06 pm ((did he punch out a wearwolf)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:07 pm \\GET HIM!\\ FakeProwl 10:07 pm *Tiny nod of satisfaction. Called it.* Magnum Ace 10:07 pm -okay, he's better...now...what is going on now?- Windchill 10:08 pm *Trying to not cackle* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm *Frenzy salutes Spoon. An end he'd be proud of, himself.* Windchill 10:09 pm I could see his guts and everything. Bevel 10:09 pm *proud of Spoon for fighting until the very end, awesome human* Magnum Ace 10:09 pm . . . Windchill 10:10 pm *But will they find Narnia?* Fuck You Rabbit 10:10 pm *they found some bones! that's close* Magnum Ace 10:10 pm -he missed a bit, didn't he?- FakeProwl 10:11 pm ((did they fvcking)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm (( 😄 😄 😄 )) FakeProwl 10:11 pm ((did they name him spoon JUST so they could do that)) Magnum Ace 10:11 pm ((yuuuup Tarantulas 10:11 pm (( omfg FakeProwl 10:11 pm ((how dare)) Magnum Ace 10:11 pm ((wow Fuck You Rabbit 10:14 pm Oh. Windchill 10:14 pm I don't think humans are meant to transform. Fuck You Rabbit 10:14 pm I don't think he'd have managed to survive that close to an explosion either. Magnum Ace 10:14 pm -dead silence from him- Windchill 10:14 pm Ew. Ewwww. Fuck You Rabbit 10:15 pm That's bad. FakeProwl 10:15 pm ((NOT THE SQUEAKING OH MY GOD)) Windchill 10:15 pm Good dog. Fuck You Rabbit 10:16 pm Good dog! Tarantulas 10:16 pm (( fricken. wow Magnum Ace 10:17 pm ((pfff ((that was interesting Windchill 10:17 pm *Covers his mouth at that newspaper* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:17 pm \\...I GOTTA. I GOTTA FIGHT SOMETHIN'.\\ Magnum Ace 10:17 pm -marking that as another movie to not show his teammates or humans- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:18 pm \\BOSS. BOSS. SWEAR WE'LL CLEAN UP LATER CAN WE GO HUNTIN' PLEEEEEEEASE.\\ FakeProwl 10:18 pm ((i didn't see soon enough, what did the newspaper say)) Tarantulas 10:18 pm (( "werewolves ate my platoon" ItsyBitsySpyers 10:18 pm (("Werewolves ate my platoon!" and then up in a bigger headline "ENGLAND 5 GERMANY 1")) Bevel 10:18 pm Fighting something sounds fun. Windchill 10:18 pm (( Yup. )) FakeProwl 10:18 pm ((omg)) Fuck You Rabbit 10:18 pm *the dragon shifts a bit* I think I'll stick to fighting dough. Much easier. Windchill 10:19 pm I'm not fighting because...I'm a weenie. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:19 pm [[He wants this taken down by tomorrow night. And you will not be late to your shifts.]]

//We won't! Swear!// Tarantulas 10:20 pm *tarantulas isn't saying this aloud but he's a tad inspired. as mad science goes* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:20 pm [[...Fine. Take Ravage.]] Bevel 10:20 pm *torn on her feelings about the movie but it did make her want to punch things so yay* Magnum Ace 10:20 pm -and a poke to the rest of the snack that was shoved at him. Debating if he should take it back home or not- Bevel 10:21 pm Can I go with? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:21 pm [[...Are you capable of defending yourself in the Underworld?]] Bevel 10:21 pm Sure! Windchill 10:22 pm ... Magnum Ace 10:22 pm -Underworld. Soundwave can't be serious- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm [[Notify your creator first. Do not stray from the group.]] *Soundwave is /deadly/ serious.* Bevel 10:22 pm ...Fine. Magnum Ace 10:23 pm -That is not comforting- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:23 pm [[Contact Chimera if there is an emergency. The rest of us will come.]] Bevel 10:24 pm *oh right Chimera, she gently pats said bot to wake them so she can get up while simultaneously placing a private comm to her creator, multitasking is fun* Magnum Ace 10:25 pm -concerned look from him all the same- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:25 pm *They're never really asleep, just in energy conserving mode. Chimera shakes out their fake wire mane - a few fall out, whoops - and hops off her lap.* //It'll be okay, Ace. We done this loadsa times. How d'you think we got all them decorations, heh?// ItsyBitsySpyers 10:26 pm *Light punch to the shoulder* *Very light. Doesn't wanna stab the poor guy with his Knuckles knuckles.* Bevel 10:27 pm *after making even more promises to call more bots if something happens, Bevel pings Soundwave with a transcript of the convo. she did the thing even tho she's an adult :|* Magnum Ace 10:27 pm -thank you for that, he'd rather not explain holes in his shoulder- You're sure you're going to be okay? Bevel 10:28 pm *checks the room for Tara really quickly* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:28 pm *She's an adult with a creator capable of making his life a minor level of hell. He'll take the convo transcript and nod.* Tarantulas 10:28 pm *tara's busy climbing off prowl's lap and doing his whole size/transform thingamajig* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:28 pm \\LISTEN. AIN'T NO GROUP SAFER 'N US THREE. 'CEPT MAYBE IF WHIRL WAS HERE.\\ Windchill 10:29 pm *Sighs.* Bevel 10:29 pm *then she'll play it safe and stay in Al mode while levering herself up from the floor, she can transform once they've left* Magnum Ace 10:29 pm -nods- I guess I'll have to take your word for it ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm //Maybe we'll bring ya somethin' back. Heh. C'mon, bro. Ravage, Bevel. Seeya later, Prowl - hey, 'n ya still gotta explain infinity. I ain't forgot.// Bevel 10:30 pm Night, Prowl! FakeProwl 10:30 pm ... Do I? *Huh. Hadn't thought it, y'know. Mattered.* *Nods to the people that wished him farewell.* Windchill 10:31 pm *Waves in a wide, slow, sweeping arc.* *Good bye brave adventurers.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:31 pm *Ravage gets up, does the cat stretch thing - round back, squish the front, stretch the little does, wiggle the claws. All right, he's ready. Off they all go, with Rumble shouting over his shoulder:*

//Yep.// Fuck You Rabbit 10:31 pm *the dragon stretches* I should go too. Goodnight, everyone! Thank you for having me! *and with that, she wanders out* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:32 pm [[Goodnight, dragon. Thank you for the fuel.]] Magnum Ace 10:32 pm -waves after them- Good night! Bevel 10:32 pm *will follow the twins and Ravage out* Magnum Ace 10:32 pm -and never got the dragon's name- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:33 pm *Soundwave pings Tarantulas curiously. He's transforming? Has he somewhere to go, then?* FakeProwl 10:34 pm *Only reluctantly lets go. He wasn't done clinging.* Tarantulas 10:36 pm *shakes a little to resettle his fluff* Hm? What is it? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:37 pm [[You moved.]] Windchill 10:37 pm *Stretches a little, just soaking in the atmosphere that reminds him too much of The Basement.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:39 pm *Tarantulas and Bevel contributed to the deployers' efforts.* Windchill 10:39 pm *He's just used to trash and corpses.* *That is, sadly, how it's reading to him.* Tarantulas 10:40 pm *visor smirk* I do that, yes. If you're asking why, I - hyeh. Just had an itch to. *basically he wasn't feelin being a pillow. leans on the couch, not leaving* Windchill 10:41 pm You could twerk to this. *But he won't, he'll spare you all.* FakeProwl 10:42 pm *... Will take his hands back. Laces them tightly in his lap again.* Magnum Ace 10:42 pm -and he's settling down where he is- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:42 pm *Well, Soundwave finds trash and corpses unsettling when they're inside his home, so it's still something.*

[[Ah. Very well.]] *He'll let that feeler from earlier drift back down to Tarantulas' shoulder and rest there.* Tarantulas 10:43 pm ...Is there anything you CAN'T twerk to? Are there requirements for that? agooddistraction 10:43 pm why do humans like trees ItsyBitsySpyers 10:43 pm *Looks down at Prowl's hands and up at Prowl's face. Casual knee nudge.* Windchill 10:43 pm Nah, but some things are better suited. In my opinion, anyway. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:43 pm *Zori peeps an eyestalk over the bar to look at Wheeljack.*

#they are nice #...when did you get here agooddistraction 10:44 pm Zoriii Windchill 10:44 pm Trees are a plague. agooddistraction 10:44 pm I have no idea Magnum Ace 10:44 pm ...? -who is that?- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:44 pm [[The plague that isn't a tree.]] agooddistraction 10:44 pm I'm not a tree?? Magnum Ace 10:44 pm Trees aren't a plague ItsyBitsySpyers 10:44 pm [[Not yet. Give the roots time to settle.]] Windchill 10:44 pm Are too, they're everywhere. Magnum Ace 10:45 pm No. They're a plant Windchill 10:45 pm Taking up space where I don't want them. A plague of plants! FakeProwl 10:45 pm *... Casual knee nudge back.* Windchill 10:45 pm Too much green, which is the worst colour. agooddistraction 10:45 pm You can' tfool me again Green is okay Magnum Ace 10:45 pm That is not how it works Windchill 10:46 pm Green is the worst colour, because it clashes with my pink. Red is a close second. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:46 pm [[Who's fooling you? He can hear them growing from here.]] Magnum Ace 10:46 pm And? agooddistraction 10:46 pm Prove it Windchill 10:46 pm And trees are green. They get in my way. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:46 pm *Soundwave plays wood and metal creaking.* agooddistraction 10:46 pm Fine Magnum Ace 10:46 pm The point being? agooddistraction 10:47 pm Then how come Bee doesn't feel 'em when he's got half a servo wedged in my plating Windchill 10:47 pm The point is there's too many of them. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:47 pm [[They're inside, obviously.]] Magnum Ace 10:47 pm Then move somewhere there are none? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:47 pm [[Either that, or Bumblebee is a plant creature himself.]] Windchill 10:47 pm *Irrationally robo-salty that trees take up more space than he does, or something.* Can't. Magnum Ace 10:48 pm Why? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:48 pm [[Earthlings have an entire documentary about plants replacing humans.]] [[He's certain there are Cybertronian versions.]] agooddistraction 10:48 pm Why would Bee be a plant Windchill 10:48 pm That's the plot of The Happening, too. Kinda. Not really. agooddistraction 10:48 pm what? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:48 pm [[To get closer to you and deposit seeds.]] Windchill 10:48 pm Anyway. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:48 pm *Assigns himself a point for that bad joke.* agooddistraction 10:48 pm Sexy Windchill 10:49 pm I'm stranded on Earth, stuck with all of those trees. Tarantulas 10:49 pm *snrk. plant sex humor* *u get a point from tara* FakeProwl 10:49 pm *Didn't get it.* agooddistraction 10:49 pm Mom ItsyBitsySpyers 10:49 pm *Prowl needs to listen to Soundwave rattle about his plant some time. As soon as he gets more of them that aren't readily identifiable as stolen.* *Then he'll get it.* Magnum Ace 10:50 pm Wait. You're on Earth? Where? Windchill 10:50 pm On...a version of Earth. I can't tell you where. It's top secret. Tarantulas 10:50 pm *comes around the back of the couch. apparently tonight tarantulas has a thing for putting his paws on prowl's shoulders* Magnum Ace 10:51 pm A version...oh. Not the one I'm from then Windchill 10:51 pm I would say not. FakeProwl 10:51 pm *No no, he understands that plants grow from seeds. He doesn't know the OTHER definition of depositing seeds.* agooddistraction 10:51 pm Wait if Bee's pollinatin' me am I a flower? Windchill 10:51 pm No. You're pregnant. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:52 pm [[Isn't that what he's been trying to tell you.]] Magnum Ace 10:52 pm No, most likely not. You'd hate if, if you're so ready to call trees a plague agooddistraction 10:52 pm You didn't say I was a flower Windchill 10:52 pm You think your Earth has more trees than mine does? *PERISH THE THOUGHT* Magnum Ace 10:53 pm -shrugs- I have no frame of reference for that, so... agooddistraction 10:53 pm Alright, time to go get pollinated again Have fun, mom Windchill 10:54 pm I only like one tree. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:54 pm [[Try not to give details. And he is NOT your mother.]] Magnum Ace 10:54 pm One tree? agooddistraction 10:54 pm You're my mom and you wash my mouth out with cleanser every night and it's hot. Night. Windchill 10:54 pm One tree. It lives with me. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:55 pm *Soundwave raises his free hand to his visor and rubs his helm. The tires on his back spin with irritation.* Windchill 10:55 pm I named it Trooper. FakeProwl 10:55 pm *Oh good, closing time. He's going to hope this does not apply to himself. Glances at Soundwave to check.* Windchill 10:55 pm *He loves his one stupid tree.* FakeProwl 10:55 pm *... gets distracted by the tires he can juuuust barely peek from this angle* Magnum Ace 10:55 pm -not commenting- Windchill 10:56 pm *Rolls his massive weight onto his feet, instead of his butt.* Tarantulas 10:56 pm *nice tires, but look at those Good Strong Hands tho* Windchill 10:56 pm You guys have fun fuckin'. I'm out. Magnum Ace 10:56 pm ....what ItsyBitsySpyers 10:56 pm *Soundwave's vents STUTTER* FakeProwl 10:56 pm *Okay the Good Strong Hands are nice but the tires are— Prowl missed something, didn't he?* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:56 pm *...He makes a note to have Buzzsaw remove that function.* *The avatar doesn't need to show surprise.* Tarantulas 10:57 pm I do hope you enjoy sexting your mate as well, or whatever you're doing these days Windchill 10:57 pm *Makes a sweeping, obviously Vosian bow. You're welcome.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:58 pm [[Windchill is being Windchill, Ace. Do not worry yourself.]] Magnum Ace 10:58 pm -oh, oh no. This feels like it's more of private conversations and he's turning as red as his armor- Tarantulas 10:58 pm *poor kiddo* Magnum Ace 10:58 pm -TOO LATE- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:58 pm [[But he does have to return the seats to where they belong soon.]] Windchill 10:58 pm *Windchill is being Windchill, AKA the resident loud pervert.* I might. You're missing out. FakeProwl 10:59 pm I can help... *vaguely gestures around.* Clean this up. Magnum Ace 10:59 pm -Magnum Ace is not used to these thiiiings- Windchill 11:00 pm *Boy you gon' learn.* Tarantulas 11:00 pm As you say. *snickers, albeit amiably. waves Chill off with a spider limb* Magnum Ace 11:00 pm I...I think...I think it's time for me to go home now FakeProwl 11:00 pm ... Or help bridge him home. Windchill 11:00 pm Good night, suckers. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:00 pm [[Help bridge him home, yes.]]

*He'll find other things for Prowl to do after that.*

[[Goodnight, Windchill.]] Windchill 11:00 pm *Finger guns, walks out backwards now that he's traumatized people. Mission complete.* Magnum Ace 11:01 pm That'd be nice...-thank you so much Windchill. He did not need that- Tarantulas 11:01 pm (( h-how old is magnum (( mentally, at least Magnum Ace 11:02 pm ((old enough, but they're not...they're kinda made to play sports. Period FakeProwl 11:02 pm Same coordinates as usual? Magnum Ace 11:02 pm ((this is kinda new territory Tarantulas 11:02 pm (( hmm! no one's given him the talk, heh Magnum Ace 11:02 pm Yeah. Same as before. Windchill 11:03 pm (( *WHEEZE* )) Magnum Ace 11:03 pm ((and Magnum's kinda a special case in itself FakeProwl 11:04 pm *Nods. Opens up a bridge for Magnum.* Magnum Ace 11:05 pm Thank you. Good night. -and he's going through, still a faint shade of red- ItsyBitsySpyers 11:06 pm *Shakes his helm.*

[[Not what he meant the new guest to know, but he supposes there is no more harm in it than when Whirl realized.]] Magnum Ace 11:07 pm ((dyyyying FakeProwl 11:07 pm He's an alien. I can't imagine what he'd do with the info. Magnum Ace 11:07 pm ((and I am out now that I'm done laughing ((thanks for the stream, g'night! ItsyBitsySpyers 11:08 pm ((night!)) [[Nothing, hopefully.]] FakeProwl 11:13 pm *Right. Everyone gone? Everyone except Tarantulas, anyway? Tarantulas can see, that's fine.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:15 pm *Everyone except Tarantulas, yep.* Tarantulas 11:16 pm *yeppers, and he doesn't seem to be going much of anywhere* FakeProwl 11:17 pm *Prowl IMMEDIATELY swings around to straddle Soundwave's lap. ... And then realizes he maybe should have explained himself first.* If you actually would like me to clean I'd be happy to assist with that, but I /think/ it was mutually understood that that was a justification to stay late and do far less productive things. Tarantulas 11:20 pm *lets prowl's shoulders go, amused huff* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:21 pm *Soundwave starts slightly, unused to such direct action out of Prowl. Or the way the avatar's contact distribution feels different on this older, thicker frame he's 'borrowing' for the night. He's not actually sure what to do with his hands at first.*

[[It was. He cleaned Swoop's mess and the twins will clear all of this.]]

*He'll just. Where does he put them? Fine, they're going on Prowl's thighs.* FakeProwl 11:22 pm Good. ... I'd still like to help clean, though. *As long as he's already volunteered.* *... And as long as they're relatively alone, turns on the ambient noises he'd suppressed during the movie. Meaning immediate whooshing vents and revving engine.* Tarantulas 11:26 pm Personally I'm not that interested in cleaning, but I AM potentially interested in the unproductivity. If Prowl has room in his processor to spare, that is. *amused visor squint* FakeProwl 11:28 pm *Gives Tarantulas a considering look. Then Soundwave's wheels. Then Tarantulas. Then the wheels.* Tarantulas 11:28 pm You don't have to /choose/ between the two, silly. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:29 pm [[There'll need to be a new mess first.]]

*The whooshing and revving promptly calls forth similar sounds from Soundwave's avatar. If there is one thing Soundwave's good at doing with it, it's making sure it sounds like him.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:30 pm *He can see Prowl eyeing his wheels. Slooooooow spin and an inviting lean.* FakeProwl 11:31 pm *he is. gonna. rrrrrreach out to touch the tread.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:33 pm *Nice and deep, lots of paths to trace. The sort that mechs who do a lot of roaming along different kinds of rough terrain have. A little hint about what he did at times.* FakeProwl 11:34 pm *Plus it glows. He's gonna trace it.* Tarantulas 11:34 pm *tarantulas is a tad jealous, his were always street treads* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:35 pm *The revving stops being in bursts and drifts into becoming a dark, low rumble..*

*Well, you know. Not every secret is somewhere nice and clean. Especially if you're tracking down your fellow Senators' messes.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:37 pm *Soundwave's claws tick their way up Prowl's legs, moving over his hips and toward his sides. There are biolights here. These are his.* FakeProwl 11:38 pm ... Wouldn't have pegged you as the off-roading type. *Oh, yes, good. Shifts slightly to give him better access.* Tarantulas 11:38 pm *don't mind tarantulas if he comes around behind soundwave to examine his back for a while. new frame, new questions, new research* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:44 pm [[Most mechs wouldn't have thought he was a gladiator either. He's stuck his olfactory sensors in more than his share of unpleasant places. Mistakes are hard to make, otherwise.]]

*He's dancing around a hint there.*

*Soundwave leans more, letting Tarantulas toy with the thick plates and glowing wheels there.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:48 pm *...While he's here he's just going to get his visor rubbing up against Prowl's helm. Like you do when you don't want to take your mask off in front of a spider who still has yet to see the whole thing.* FakeProwl 11:49 pm *Leans in to nuzzle Soundwave back.* Hmm. Did your own dirty work. *Kind of impressive for a senator. With his free hand, he starts tracing the bright biolights over Soundwave's chest.* Tarantulas 11:49 pm *tarantulas had no idea there was a hint there, but he's eating up the tidbits about soundwave's past in general. he hasn't heard much, so some of this is news. he'll be quiet and patient, pawing subtly at his back and slowly trailing claws between plating* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:51 pm [[Always.]] *Plates ripple and shift, making room for claws. He loves them on his back. Loves, loves, LOVES.* [[He has a mind to demonstrate.]] Tarantulas 11:52 pm *heh, tarantulas can take THIS hint. he'll keep on, certainly* FakeProwl 11:53 pm *Dryly.* It's not going to be the kind of demonstration you gave me last time, is it? *You tease.* Yesterday ItsyBitsySpyers 11:56 pm *Injured! He'll let go long enough to splay a hand over his chest glass - which is conspicuously missing the Decepticon symbol, for the record. It's a fair shot though.*

[[He hopes not. We have more time tonight.]]

@Prowl: [[But different location privileges, if Tarantulas joins. The upstairs lounge, specifically. His deployers will remain busy elsewhere.]] FakeProwl 12:00 am *A split second of uncertainty as he processes Soundwave's gesture, wondering if it's actual offense or just humor; before smirking.* I hope not, too.

@Soundwave «Oh? Don't want to do anything in the sultry glow of knock-off Blood of Unicron?» ItsyBitsySpyers 12:01 am *No actual offense. He would not be behaving in such a good mood if there were any.*

@Prowl: [[...No. No, he doesn't. He disliked that decoration choice from the start. But they had a theme.]] @Prowl: [[But he would rather return to the other subject.]]

*Places his hands back on Prowl, specifically where the shoulders are able to open up to reveal tires. Dig dig.* *Hint hint.* FakeProwl 12:04 am @Soundwave «That's fair.» *He lets out a rev as the fingers dig in, clicking open his shoulders to give Soundwave access and kissing lightly around the frame of Soundwave's visor.* FakeProwl 12:06 am *And then straightens up.* I recall trying to coordinate on a narrow couch being a little... restrictive, last time. We should relocate. Tarantulas 12:06 am *hums, hooks a claw on a thin wire beneath sw's plating, and tugs briefly before pulling back* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:08 am *Soundwave returns to revving a little bit. Listen to that smooth piece of pretending Prowl thought of that all on his own instead of going along with Soundwave's earlier comment. What a talented amica he has.*

[[As you wish.]] *Lets go of Prowl and - ohhhh, he barely felt that, but he knows what that was and the idea is working for him - and starts to rise.* [[Upstairs, then. Both of you.]] FakeProwl 12:10 am *Slides off the seat.* Yes, /sir./ *If Soundwave's going to get commanding, Prowl's going to respond accordingly.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:10 am *BIOLIGHT FLARE.* Tarantulas 12:11 am *chuckles, and follows prowl quietly, fluidly. tonight's the night to practice restraint, for tarantulas, he thinks - tough, but hopefully worth it* FakeProwl 12:11 am *Oooh. He's going to do that more often.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:14 am *He hopes so. That was... it was. Tonight might not be the night for /Soundwave/ to practice restraint(s), but some other time...*

*Maybe Tarantulas too, once he figures out how to bind up someone who can mass shift that severely.*

*He'll track after them both, silently locking the front door to all but the hunting party and placing the staircase door on permission requirement. No accidental intrusions~*

#chat

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sweetme86 · 7 years ago

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Slow down (day 3)

I’m really enjoying the FYDL Drabble-a-thon Extravaganza! Thanks @fuckyeahdarcylewis for doing this :)

Pairing: Darcy & Steve, (and kinda Darcy/Bucky)

Word count: 1148 (Let's pretend that's less than a thousand words ok? Ok!)

Prompt: Slow down

Trigger warning for panic attack/anxiety

Charity: I'm linking to the Medic One Foundation. The fact that my cousin is alive today is a result of the work this foundation does, I am very grateful to them and the paramedics they help train. The Foundation funds paramedic training for all Medic One providers in King County, as well as many communities throughout the region. Other Foundation-funded programs, such as patient care and research, benefit pre-hospital emergency care around the world through shared protocols and published research findings.

Story under the cut!

Slow down

The pounding of her heart almost drowns out her ragged breathing. It seems she's not actually taking any oxygen in though, because she's swaying on her feet, her hands are clammy and there are black spots dancing in front of her. Her brain isn't shutting down, even if it feels like her body. Her legs won't hold her up anymore and suddenly the floor is a lot closer than it was a second ago. In contrast to the muscles in her legs, her hands are balled up tight because apparently those muscles do still work; somewhere in the back of her brain she knows there's a stinging feeling on her palms where her nails are digging in. She tries to focus on that instead of the barrage of thoughts that won't stop circling her brain like a goddamn hurricane of fear and accusation.

"You did this, this is your fault" is circling right around "he's not coming back, he's never coming back because you. Didn't. Think."

Focusing on the stinging in her palms allows her to slowly open her fists and rub her palms over her jeans. As soon as sensations other than what's going on inside her head can get in again, the images on the TV screen in front of her send her right back into her own mind, "You're a distraction to him. He can't focus when he's worried about you. He's not coming back because you got him killed."

There are tears gathering in her eyes but she doesn't feel it as they make their way down her cheeks. Everything around her is muted again and she doesn't notice the door banging against the wall as it's kicked open and doesn't really register the guy now on his knees in front of her.

He'd been knocking on her door, but when she didn't open he tried to listen if she was even at home. He'd heard her gasping then. Terrified that somehow, they'd gotten to her, knew about her and Bucky, he'd kicked in her door and ran inside.

He sees her folded in on herself on the floor, shaking and gasping, but not registering that he's there.

Memories from before flood his brain, he can almost see himself hunched over on the floor, Bucky sitting behind him and his arms wrapped around his chest and stomach. Getting him to breathe along with every breath Bucky takes, almost through force of will alone. He remembers feeling so powerless, unable to even breathe. So done with always being the one that needed taking care of, never being able to take care of him in return.

But right here, right now, he can be the one to help Bucky. Do for Darcy what Bucky used to do for him. He turns off the TV because she doesn't need any more of those images in her head. He slides in behind Darcy then and wraps his arms around her. He starts talking, hoping some of it will get through because he doesn't need another friend in the infirmary today. "He's fine, he'll make it, breathe for me Darce, you gotta take a real breath for me."

She's shaking in his arms and while he's still muttering he doesn't even know what into her ear, it's like all the tension suddenly releases and a heartbreaking sob fights its way out of her throat.

"Please baby doll, he's okay, it's okay, take a breath. Slow down, it's gonna be okay but you gotta slow down for me Darce" the gravel in his voice surprises him even if it shouldn't. His eyes are burning and he's got a hard time keeping his own sobs at bay. His nerves were already shot by the time he got to her apartment, because up until an hour ago he'd been thinking what must be playing through Darcy's head right now.

He hadn't realized the entire fight downtown had been broadcast live thanks to some idiot reporter he hadn't spotted in a nearby building who didn't evacuate as he should have. Filming the Avengers fighting in the streets should not be more important than personal safety, but time and again people proved to be idiots. He should have expected this. He should have come to her sooner, should have known she could follow the entire thing on the TV.

"He's... He's alive? But- No I saw him go down Steve, and he didn't get up!" Her voice is hoarse and so desperately heartbroken he can't help but squeeze her a little tighter as he's mentally hitting himself for not noticing the reporter, for not realizing-

He'd been preoccupied though, thinking his best and oldest friend was dead. Again. Because Hydra had gotten their hands on new armor piercing bullets and even the serum couldn't raise the dead. Miraculously none of the bullets had hit Bucky's heart or head or anything that wouldn't heal fast enough and even if he'd have to be in the infirmary longer than usual he'd make a full recovery.

Telling himself he can kick himself later, he reassures her again. "He's fine. Well, he's pissed about getting shot and having to take it easy for a while, but he'll live."

"Oh god Steve I thought-"

"I know" he interrupts her before she can say it. Her breathing is steadier now even if her tears are still steadily rolling down her cheeks. "I know, but he's not. He's good, he really is."

She lets out a breath that feels like it took a whole trunk of worry with it.

"Want to head up to medical with me so you can see for yourself?"

She leans back against him, most of the tension draining out of her now that she no longer believes he's dead. Her hands come up to scrub over her face again as she says, "Yeah, that sounds so good. Just, give me a second so I can get up and walk myself over there."

He sighs and leans back against the wall behind him. She settles against his chest as he presses a kiss to the top of her head. "Sure thing doll, we got time. He's okay."

#darcy lewis #drabble-a-thon #drabble #slow down #darcy&steve #darcy x bucky #Sietske writes

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countessklair · 8 years ago

Text

you can’t name a dog after someone who’s dead

Pairing: Pre-Billy Cranston/Jason Scott, Pre-Kimberly Hart/Trini Warning: Mature language Description: In which the Rangers have a heart to heart and get a dog.

Also: This is long as HELL. But you can also find it on my AO3 account if you don’t want to read it here. I handled some sensitive themes in this, and if you have thoughts please come talk to me about them!

“Hey, guys, sorry I’m late, I-” I raised an eyebrow at my friends. “Uh, what’s up with this?”

Billy, Kim, and Zack were sitting in a semicircle near the Wall, where Zordon and Alpha 5 were arguing so intently about something that they didn’t even see me come in.

Billy glanced over at me and waved in greeting, his eyes lighting up a bit and a bright grin crossing his face.

I waved back, a stupid dopey smile stretching across my mouth, shuffling my feet around the weird fluttery feeling in my gut.

Kim held a finger up to her lips and motioned me over, her eyes never leaving the back and forth between Zordon and Alpha 5.

I sat down between Kim and Billy, and as the argument grew slightly louder, Kim leaned over, murmuring underneath their voices, “They can’t agree on whether or not Zordon had a pet Velociraptor back in the day.”

“That’s what they’re arguing about?” I scoffed softly.

Kim nodded and chuckled under her breath.

Zordon insisted, “The creature came when called, and responded to their name-”

Alpha 5 put their hands on their hips. “It did not come when called, it came when it was time for dinner, and the name was stupid, anyway.”

“How dare you, Zuzu was a fine name for them!” Zordon’s face loomed out over the much smaller robot, the whole Wall glowing a soft red.

As Alpha 5 reared back to retort, Kim whispered, thoroughly amused, “Do you think they’ll argue long enough that they forget about training for the day?”

Zack, out of the corner of his mouth, whispered back, “That’s the plan.”

I stifled my grin, turning back to Zordon and Alpha 5 but my gaze getting caught, as it so often did, on Billy.

He was sitting a little nearer to Zordon, his face tilted up and smiling sweetly at Zordon and Alpha 5’s antics.

As I was watching he looked over at me, my heart leaping in my chest as I reflexively smiled back at him.

I opened my mouth, an awkward smile curving over my face. “So-”

“JASON!”

And everything else in the whole world went into soft gray and faded away.

I was up and running toward the scream, heart pounding and armor forming on my flesh before I consciously knew what I was doing, and I knew that the others were not far behind me.

Every thought bouncing around in my head vanished, every sensation or sense of approach was long gone, and I was focusing on nothing but getting to that scream fast, faster, faster, faster, because that was Trini’s voice that screamed.

That was Trini.

It had definitely been Trini and Trini was always ok, but she didn’t sound ok now, and that alone was terrifying.

It was Trini it was Trini it was Trini it was Trini it was Trini it was Trini it was Trini Trini Trini Trini

I sprinted as fast as my body was able towards the direction of the scream and pushed harder still because it wasn’t enough, my heart pounding and blood rushing wildly, all the way to the back entrance of the cave systems, the only one that wasn’t a water entrance, and I found Trini standing there, too still to be normal and holding a large bloody dog close to her small body.

I couldn’t see any injuries on her, thank god thank god thank god thank god, but the set of her shoulders and the strange way she held her head still scared me.

I caught myself a few steps away from Trini, reminding myself that she might need space and she definitely needed me calm.

She looked up and met my gaze and I felt my insides twist and freeze.

I knew that look in her eyes, too similar to the way she’d looked on the pier after Rita held up her scepter and shot it at-

Billy, he’s dead he’s dead he’s dead

I shoved the memory down and turned to the others, who had also morphed and were standing behind me, Kim in particular tilting back and forth like she couldn’t decide what she should do.

I lifted a hand at them, whispered, “I’ve got it.”

In turn, they nodded and took a step back.

The panic did not fade from my head, a constant stream of Trini’s hurt she’s hurt she’s hurt and he’s dead he’s dead he’s dead combining in my head for a sickening combination.

I didn’t have time for it because Trini needed me, so I let the armor fade away, and I shoved the thoughts in my head as far back as I could.

I turned back around to face Trini, and I greeted her softly, “Hey Trini.”

Trini’s grip of the unconscious animal tightened, and she replied, awkwardly blank, “He’s hurt.”

Her voice had none of its usual lilt, none of the spark of mischief, had none of Trini in it.

I kept my voice calm and low as I nodded. “Ok, alright, that’s no problem. Alpha 5 can take him to the med room and fix him up, can’t you, Alpha 5?”

The small robot peeked around my leg, voice matching mine in tone and volume. “Of course.”

Trini looked between the two of us, dulled confusion on her face as her eyebrows drew in together and her mouth tightened, and she did not move, she looked between us and the dog in her arms and stayed where she was.

Wrong, you’re doing it wrong, you’re always wrong!

I shoved my thoughts away and focused back on Trini and the practically palpable silence. As gently as I was able, I asked, “Do you want me to take him?”

Trini jerked backward and hugged the dog closer, a streak of terror crossing her face, her shoulders rising and falling a bit faster and a distressed sound came from her, as Kim made a matching sound behind me.

“Okay, that’s alright,” I soothed, my hands lifted in a calming manner. “That’s okay, you can carry him if you want.”

Trini relaxed a little, though that wild fear settled deep into the way she held herself, her eyes darting quickly between the five of us like she couldn’t decide what she wanted to do and filling quickly with unshed tears.

After a moment, she pleaded, confused and her voice cracking, “Jason?”

And that’s when I knew how shaken Trini was, because she was my second in command, she was invulnerable, she had never shown anything even related to vulnerability like this before, she was the most stable of us all, she was the fiercest and the toughest, and Trini was never like this. She never looked small like that.

I forced myself to speak around the lump in my throat and the clouding of my eyes, “Can I come closer?” I waited for her answer, stepping forward when she nodded. “Do you want us all to walk with you and Alpha 5 to the med room?”

She nodded immediately, a soft release of breath coming from her, and I approached her carefully, watching her intently for the first sign of discomfort. She let me wrap my arm around her back, my hand settling lightly on her shoulder and I swore it was cold with fear even through her hoodie. As my hand touched down on her, Trini let loose a stuttering breath and pushed backward into the touch.

Now that I was closer to her and the dog, I could see it was a big grey animal of uncertain breed, and it was whining very very softly, shaking against Trini’s chest.

I looked up at the others, who had abandoned their armor, and at my nod, they immediately, slowly, moved to the side to let us pass.

I could almost hear Billy murmuring to himself the way he did when tensions were high like this, and I could hear Kim trying to cry as silently as possible, and I knew, I knew that Zack was thrown completely off kilter. Because as much as Zack liked to pretend to be somewhat aloof and unflappable, his heart was too kind and too goddamn broken to be immune to any of us hurting, much less Trini, who he relied on for strength, and vice versa.

I wondered if it was normal for a Red Ranger to feel as if they wanted to take on the whole goddamn world and fight everyone and everything in it just on the simple possibility that one of the other Rangers would be spared pain.

Because they had all been through so much, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that, despite whatever Zordon and Alpha 5 said, I wasn’t the leader any of them needed. I already knew after what happened with Rita and Billy, he’s dead he’s dead he’s dead, that I was far from the leader they deserved.

The dog in Trini’s arms shifted and yelped loudly, and Trini jumped a little.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok,” I soothed. “He’s gonna be just fine.”

She didn’t respond.

Keeping as soft a tone as I could manage I prompted, “Okay, Trini, let’s go.”

I could feel her trembling underneath my hand the entire walk to the med room, I could feel the intensity in the air creeping into a panic for the other Rangers even as they kept their distance and their silence.

This was the worst part about being a Ranger, and if I was honest also the best part I wouldn’t trade in a million years. We all loved each other so much, and so when something happened that fucked one of us up, it fucked up everyone else too, because we relied on each other for strength. We relied on each other for everything.

Kim loved us all but she loved Trini in a way none of the rest of us did even if she had refused to do anything about it yet. Kim, who had been a cheerleader her whole life learning about teamwork, had never understood it until becoming a Ranger, where it was like she could take one look at each of us and understand perfectly what was going on. There was no hiding or keeping secrets from Kim.

Trini was quietly, viciously fond of each and every one of us, and she always chose to express that through touch and actions, and the thought had often crossed my mind that Trini, who never ever spoke about her home life after the first bonfire, might be touch starved. And even though she didn’t say a whole lot, she had fewer problems expressing herself when it came to Kim.

Zack was often the rock of the entire group in situations like this because he knew the most about how to care for people, because even though he least deserved it, Zack had been through so fucking much. Zack threw himself full force into whatever he was doing, and Zack loved us all so much we knew he would gladly do whatever it took, whatever it took, to make it better.

And Billy couldn’t stand it when any of us were hurting, he was our heart and soul, and he loved so much his heart had to have been a thousand times larger than his brilliant brain, which also meant he felt any hurt in himself or us extremely deeply. Billy struggled often with feeling like he was doing enough, with us and for us, and we had all told him that he himself alone was enough.

Because that’s the way it worked. We loved each other we needed each other, we relied on each other. And that’s why it was the worst part, because whenever one of us was fucked up, we all were, but it was also one of the best things because it meant that we were all there, and we were all together, and we were so fucking loved by one another.

I glanced behind me to where Zack was holding one of Kim’s hands, his eyes too wide, while Kim cried silently, Billy solemn and his movements too stilted.

I turned back towards Trini, whose face still shone with tear tracks and flecks of blood and dirt.

I just really fucking hated it when any one of them was upset, and I hated it even more when there wasn’t an obvious physical, volatile solution to the problem. Because in the end, that’s all I felt I was good for, putting myself between my team and what threatened them. I hadn’t meant it lightly when I said I’d die for any one of the Rangers, and I didn’t think they had meant it lightly either.

But there was no amount of pain, suffering, tragedy or torture I would not take for any of them.

Unfortunately for them, that wasn’t all a leader had to do. I had proved myself clumsy in my position with Rita, but the months following had been disastrous, in my opinion.

Learning how to be a leader was a hard fucking job, especially when you didn’t know jack shit about anything the people you were leading had been through. All of our backgrounds were so fundamentally different, and despite the fact that we loved each other enough to die for one another, it was a learning process to live around one another. And because of the vast differences in backgrounds, there’d come a few times when we’d go out in public and suddenly it would become crystal clear how differently the world viewed us all, and how because I was white, that meant to the world that I was somehow better than them.

When that was so far from the case. It had been awful to have my eyes opened like that to the world and it’s ways of treating the people I loved more than anything else in the world, to keep a fear in my heart every time I heard a police siren when I was with Billy and think of all the boys his age who were gonna forever be his age. Zordon had told me that the world was cruel, but my job was to protect my team, so I tried to learn how to wield my privilege to help them, which opened up infinite windows into the way the most important people in my life were in danger every single goddamn day, even sometimes from my own parents, from other adults I had looked up to. Which was all hard to accept, to unlearn habits and ideas beat into me from birth, but harder still for them to have to teach me.

I knew after Rita that I’d never be able to do anything to be as good as they deserved, and I stood by that, but there was no way in heaven, earth or hell that I wouldn’t do everything I could for them. And the physical stuff was easy, slapping bullies and correcting, sometimes forcibly, other people’s behavior. But learning how to be emotionally available and take silent cues for what they need from me in times of distress that weren’t solved by me diving headfirst into a fistfight? That was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Learning how to lead the Rangers meant learning how to feel, how to respect boundaries and ideas, how to accept weakness in them and in me. It was unheard of to me.

Nothing about the way I was raised, with the running commentary from my father about weakness and the comparison of weakness to emotion from my peers, was well suited to this way of thinking. I’d realized I’d grown up apathetic and angry because of it. Difficult to discipline, to control, as my dad put it. Typical toxic masculinity, as Zack and Trini put it.

I didn’t really know what to say or do but I would always do whatever I could, be whatever they needed me to be, cause they did the same for me. And I’d be fucking damned if I hurt them with that toxic bullshit the way I had been.

So I kept my touch on Trini light but present, close, but not too close. I let her keep control of the distance and our pace. As we went into the med room, Alpha 5 turned to Trini, obviously hesitant on how she wanted to proceed.

I leaned a little into Trini’s space, murmuring, “Alpha 5 is gonna take him now, Trini.”

She shook violently, just once.

I rubbed my thumb in a soothing circle on her shoulder. “It’s okay. Alpha 5 can take care of him.” I used my other hand to touch her elbow, gently. “It’s okay, Trini. You can put him down on the table.”

Slowly, very slowly, Trini bent down, laying the dog down as gently as possible. I bit my tongue over a cry of shock at the blood that stained her shirt, shaking my head minutely at Alpha 5, who nodded once and went to attend to the dog.

I shoved down the screaming of blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood.

I watched Trini’s hands start shaking as Alpha 5 pulled out the equipment.

Gingerly, I turned Trini around and walked her out of the med room, one hand on her shoulder, the other on her elbow.

Once we were outside the room, I went to let go of her, but as my grip loosened, she spun around to face me, eyes blowing wide with panic and uncertainty, her breath coming faster.

“Jason?”

Her hands hovered between us, her eyes going glassy with fresh tears.

And then it was the easiest thing in the world to say softly, “I’m here, Trini,” and pull her into a hug, wrapping one hand around her back while the other came up to cup the back of her neck and tuck her face under my chin.

Her vice-grip on her emotions broke, and her body sagged against me, she curled both arms tightly around me and started to openly sob into my skin.

With a deft movement, I swept up her legs and sat down against the wall of the ship, settling her across my lap. Trini had never cried in front of us before, but she seemed to need this, and I knew she wouldn’t hesitate in telling me what wasn’t okay. And I would not let myself drive her away or make her uncomfortable for being vulnerable in front of us.

So I sat with her, wrapped both arms around her back as she cried, the others sitting down around us, Kim sitting close against my right side, her head on my shoulder so her lips pressed into Trini’s hair, Zack sitting cross-legged and facing me on my left, picking up Trini’s feet and putting them in his lap, playing absentmindedly with her laces and not looking at anyone. Billy sat down near my feet, playing with the fidgeter Trini got him last week for our ‘Ranger-Versary’.

And I rubbed circles into Trini’s hip and pressed kisses into her hair and let my own tears fall.

We sat there together for an hour or so, Trini’s sobs fading slowly into sniffs and sighs, and though one of her arms still held on to the front of my jacket, her fingers playing with the string of my hood, her other hand had found its way into Kim’s. Kim was leaning heavily against me too, humming something faintly. Zack had been tying and untying Trini’s shoelaces in new and more complicated knots, occasionally leaning over to watch Billy as he fiddled with something that was probably highly complicated and brilliant and wonderful.

It was Billy, everything he touched turned to gold.

Trini sniffled a little, her voice quiet as a church mouse when she said, “I’m sorry.”

I squeezed her, gently. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

She relaxed a little. “I meant about getting snot on you.”

I sighed dramatically. “Perils of being in charge.”

“Like fucking hell are you in charge of me, Red.” Trini’s voice was a little stronger now, some of that fire peeking back in.

Zack, tangling his fingers in the laces of Trini’s combat boots, asked softly, “You gonna tell us what happened?”

Trini froze up for a second, found rigid against me, and I opened my mouth to move the conversation along when Trini nodded.

“Yeah. I am. It’s just…a little weird, I guess.”

She sighed deeply, her shoulder blades digging into my chest a bit. “I was on my way here when I went to go drop off some food for this mutt that lives around here.”

Billy cocked his head. “Is the dog here that mutt or a different one?”

“Nah, it’s the same one. I’ve been feeding him for a while now. I would have taken him home, but my mom-” Trini’s whole body tensed up before she cleared her throat and pushed on. “I was pretty near the cave entrance when all of a sudden a cougar jumped out at me.”

Kim’s hand clenched down hard on my elbow, her nails biting deep into my skin, but I bit my tongue as Zack exclaimed, voice high with confused, delayed fear, “A fucking cougar? You fought off a cougar?”

Trini shook her head. “Not alone, the fucking dog helped. The cougar got like, one swipe in before I got my armor on, and all of a sudden here comes this loud baying sound from my right and the dog just jumps up and starts in on the cougar.”

Trini’s fingers tightened on my hoodie.

She swallowed hard, her voice thick as she said, “I mean, I jumped in pretty quick and the cougar ran away, but he seemed to have hit the dog pretty hard, and I um…” She sniffed again, curling tighter into me. “I didn’t even think about it, I just picked him up and ran here.”

Kim leaned forward and tucked her face into Trini’s hair. “We’re glad you’re ok, Trin.”

“Yeah,” Billy added, ceasing to play with his fidgeter. “I was really scared when you came in and screamed. I hate you being upset, I hate it I hate it.”

“Same here.” I murmured.

“Ditto to that,” Zack said to Trini’s boots.

Kim sighed, “Me too.”

Trini replied softly, “Yeah.”

Trini began playing with the zipper on my jacket, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyebrows drawing in together.

“Trini?” I asked. “Is there something else?”

She ducked her head down. “I just…I just keep thinking…is this, is this all for real?” She looked up at me, her eyes red and swollen from crying. “Is this,” She motioned to the five of us, “For real?”

Her voice was heavy with sadness. “I haven’t had anyone I considered a friend in a long time, and it’s been even longer since I’ve really trusted anybody. And ever since Rita, I’ve just been thinking about how much I love you all and trust you all and how much it would kill me if this went away.”

Trini’s shoulders started shaking. “I don’t want it to go away, I couldn’t take it, I just couldn’t.”

I pulled her in close to me, her hand latching back onto my jacket with new vigor, and I promised, “I am never going to go away, Trini, none of us are, you’re stuck with us.”

“Yeah, permanently.” Kim sniffed, pushing closer into Trini and I.

Billy put down his contraption. “Trini, you guys are my best friends, and I love you as much as I love my mom and-”

Billy jerked back, eyes widening. “Oh.”

I ignored the low swirl of fear at his reaction to whatever he was thinking. “Billy?”

His eyes met mine. “Jason, I love you guys as much as I love my mom.”

After a moment, Kim asked, “Is that bad?”

“Oh.” Billy considered it. “No.” A smile bloomed on his face, the brightness of it easing the dark tension in the room. “I just love you guys a whole lot. So I’m never leaving either. I mean,” Billy leaned forward, eyes bright, “You guys brought me back from the dead-”

I couldn’t help the full body flinch I made when he said that.

He’s dead he’s dead he’s dead, Billy’s dead and it’s your fault your fault your fault.

“Jason?”

I flinched again, a hot flush of embarrassment flooding my chest and face. “I’m fine.”

Trini reached to grab one of my hands and interlaced our fingers. “No, you’re not.” She turned back to Billy. “And that’s the point, Billy. You, you, you died, and it was my fault.”

I squeezed her hip gently. “It was my fault, Trini, I forced him to go and-”

“No, you don’t understand.” Trini pushed away from me, sitting up. “She said it was my fault, she said it at the docks, I was the one who led you to your death, Billy!”

She shivered and rubbed her hands on her arms, looking down at the floor as she continued, “She came into my room, she said things…”

Trini looked at me, eyes wide and scared. “She said awful things, and a part of me wants to believe they’re not true, but the rest of me knows that they are and I’m so fucking scared all the time because what happens when you prove her right and leave?!”

Trini was shaking violently, fresh tears spilling out over her cheeks. “I don’t wanna be alone again, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t.”

My heart in my throat, I asked, “Trini, look at me?”

She didn’t look at me, still shaking.

I begged, “Trini, please, look at me?”

As she did, she sniffled loudly and wiped at her nose with her sleeve before wrapping both of her arms tight around her body.

“Trini,” I started, “What did she tell you?”

Trini sniffed again, wiping tears away. “She um, she said that you weren’t really my friends and that you never would be. That I was an outsider, that I would always be an outsider.” Trini’s voice wavered. “She said I was like her.”

“Trini.” I locked eyes with her and promised as gravely as I could manage, “You are nothing like Rita. You’re sweet and feisty and tough as nails and you never listen to me in the training room or out of it and I love that you don’t because you’re my second and you’re so strong and capable of doing absolutely everything, but more than that, Trini,” I leaned in close to her and tucked her hair behind her ear. “You’re a good person. You’ve got a good heart and you stick to what you believe.”

I shove a hand through my hair. “Trini, without you there’d be no Rangers.”

Her eyes widened. “That’s not-”

“Yes, Trini, it is true.” I took a deep breath, “You’re part of this team, you’re part of us, you’re part of every one of us, and you’re part of me. We love you, Trini, and we would do anything for you, anything at all. You’re not just a friend or a fellow Ranger, you’re family, you’re our Trini.”

I swallowed hard. “I, I can’t explain it any better than that. But Rita’s wrong, she was so wrong, and I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to keep her away from you, but Trini you are not an outsider and I never want you to feel that way.”

Billy, Zack, and Kim all murmured their agreement.

Trini’s behavior following Rita suddenly made more sense, the way she sometimes pulled away without warning or refused to join in with us when we all hung out after training. The way she’d sometimes just shut down completely.

“Ok.” Trini sniffed, wiping away more tears. “Ok.” Then she shivered violently and returned to her previous position.

I tucked her in close to myself. “We love you, Trini.”

Kim leaned into Trini and whispered, “I’m so sorry Trini.”

We were all silent for a while, nothing to be heard but the hum of the ship and the tinkering Billy was doing on his contraption.

Zack shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. “Actually, um.” He shifted again, tangling his fingers in the laces of Trini’s boots. “That’s kinda something I’ve been feeling too.”

He looked up at us, his body hunched in on himself. “Not quite like that, but um, I just sort of feel out of place?”

Zack tightened Trini’s shoelaces back up. “I know that in the beginning, I was a cocky dick, and to be fair I kind of am a cocky dick, but I…” Zack took a deep breath and locked eyes with me. “The Zord incident. You know, the day Billy morphed for the first time.”

I nodded, remembering all too well the burning anger I’d felt.

Drilling his fingers on the toes of Trini’s boots, Zack continued, “I did it because it’s what I do. I’m so scared all the time when I’m at home because I love my mom, I love her so much, but she gets worse and worse every day and I can’t fix it, and so sometimes I feel like I need something, anything, to take my mind off of it. Even before I was a Ranger I’d do all kinds of dumb shit around town, trying to feel alive.”

Zack wiped at his mouth and cleared his throat. “And what’s worse is, when I first became a Ranger, I kept expecting it to be a dream. I mean, I’d been living mostly by myself for so long and not to get too mushy about it but I desperately wanted someone, anyone, that I could talk to and have my back and vice versa, and then, like a goddamn miracle, there you were.”

Zack was crying too, now, his voice trembling, “And it was too good to be true, because look at you guys.” He motioned to us all. “You’re incredible, you’re strong and beautiful and so goddamn capable and I,” Zack closed his eyes. “I’m not.”

“Yes, you are!”

Kim, Billy, Trini and I insisted at the same time.

Kim huffed wetly, “Oh come here right now.” And reached over to grab Zack’s hands and tug him across my legs so his head and his chest were in her lap.

Zack shuddered with relief and turned so he was curled sort of around Trini, his knees under hers and his face pressed into Kim’s thigh. I ignored the instant deadening of my leg from both his butt and Trini’s, and Billy scooted over to Zack’s vacated spot, his eyes wide and uncertain.

“Jason, is it ok if I sit here?” Billy’s contraption lay forgotten off to the side as he hovered near me.

I nodded quickly. “Yeah, that’s perfect, actually.”

“Ok cool.” Billy sat down and then froze. “Wait why?”

I didn’t let myself lean into him, knowing full well if he wanted contact he would initiate it. “One of those times where we need to ‘share a space’ as Zordon says.”

Zordon had been all too enthusiastic about bonding opportunities for us, and I knew that he was probably listening in now, or talking with Alpha 5 behind the closed doors of the med room.

Billy only nodded, satisfied with my answer. “Ok, cool.”

Kim, running her fingers through Zack’s hair, insisted, “Zack, it’s just the same for you as it is with Trini, without you, there’d be no Rangers.”

I managed through the tightness of my throat, “Zack, we love you and if anything happened to you…”

Zack curled in tighter to Kim, and one of my hands found his and squeezed.

“You know why I tried to pilot the Zord?” Zack asked. “I wanted to feel like I was really a part of this. I know I have a coin and a Zord and the armor but sometimes I feel like a fifth wheel or something. Just completely unnecessary.”

I squeezed Zack’s hand tighter. “You’re not unnecessary, Zack, you’re a required part of this team. You’re what keeps us laughing and from being morose assholes all the time, and you keep me in my place.”

I leaned my head back against the wall. “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t think I could be a Ranger, much less the leader or whatever, unless you were here. I love you, man, we all do, so fucking goddamn much, and I’m not sure how to make this better.”

Silence hung in the air for a few moments, until Zack sniffed, “Honestly, this is pretty nice.”

Kim laughed softly, still dragging her fingers through his hair. “So the takeaway here today is that we all love each other a lot, like a lot, and we’re Rangers because we’re doing it together.”

I turned my head to smile at her. “Works for me.”

“Me too,” Trini mumbled into my shirt.

“Me three.” Zack sighed.

I looked over at Billy, who was frowning at his hands. “Billy, what’s wrong?”

“Jason, I think we should do this more often,” Billy said. “I mean, we love each other but we’re not that great at communication a lot of the times and I feel like this was good for us. You know?”

Billy’s eyes were soft, and I swore I’d never seen kindness like what was in his eyes anywhere before. I smiled at him and remembered how everything he touched he made flawless. I shoved away the voice in my head saying, you love him you love him you love him you love him.

“Yeah, Billy. I agree.”

Zack shifted and his hip bone pierced into my leg.

I yowled, “Ouch! Ugh, let’s do this again but literally almost anywhere but on the cold hard floor of the ship. Zack, your hips are really sharp.”

“My bad, dude, sorry.”

The doors to the med room slid open, and all five of us tensed.

Alpha 5 walked through, empty handed, and I felt my stomach turn to lead.

Billy gulped. “Alpha 5, what-”

A loud bark came from inside the med room and Trini bolted up into a standing position. “He’s ok!”

“Uh, actually, she’s ok. The dog is a female.” Alpha 5 corrected.

The dog in question trotted through the door, her whole body wagging and looking as good as new and Trini dropped down to pet her.

My mouth dropped open.

Zack whispered, “Woah, that’s so cool.”

Kim laughed in surprise.

Billy asked, “Um, how come the dog gets fully healed but we don’t? Have you always been able to do that?”

“Oh yes!” Alpha 5 chirped. “But Zordon insists that you feel your injuries from training so that you remember your mistakes and do not repeat them.”

Sighing loudly, Zack drawled, “I would object to that, but I’m exhausted.”

Zordon’s voice came out of the ceiling. “You would not be able to object, as it clearly works.”

“Whatever.”

The rest of us stood up and one by one introduced ourselves to the dog. She was rather pretty, her coat an even grey all around, even if it was rather shaggy, and she wriggled with joy at all the attention. If such a thing was possible, it seemed to me that she had a sweet face.

“So we’re keeping her, right?” I asked, scratching the dog behind her ears.

Billy gasped. “Jason, can we? I love dogs!”

I laughed. “I mean yeah it’s alright with me, I think we can figure out a way to keep her.”

Billy clapped quickly three times, and I smiled at him.

Zack cocked his head at the dog. “Well, we’re gonna need to name her.”

Trini scoffed. “I’ve been calling her dog, that works fine.”

Kim put a hand to her chest, actually looking distressed. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Trini only raised an eyebrow.

“Trini,” I laughed, “We’ve got to actually name her.”

“I’ve got it!” Zack held up his hands, grinning. “Shiloh.”

Everyone, even Zordon made a noise of disagreement.

Kim considered the dog for a moment before offering, “Peaches?”

Another chorus of no’s and Zack asked, “Why would you name a dog Peaches?”

Kim hit him gently on his shoulder.

Alpha 5 hummed. “Well, we could always name her after one of the other Rangers-”

A louder chorus of no’s interrupted the robot.

I screwed up my face. “You can’t name a dog after someone who’s dead.”

Billy perked up. “Guys, what about Zuzu?”

Alpha 5 threw their hands up in the air. “Oh for the love of God.”

Zordon announced primly, “I think it’s a fine name.”

Grinning widely at Kim and I, Zack agreed, “Yeah, dude, why not?”

Trini rolled her eyes. “It’s not horrible.”

Kim and I looked at each other and she shrugged. “Zuzu’s actually kind of cute.”

Billy looked at me. “Jason, what do you think?”

“I love it,” I answered immediately, not one ounce of hesitation in my voice.

It was a cute enough name, but Billy being the one to suggest it had definitely sealed the deal.

Billy clapped quickly three times and singsonged, “This is awesome, we have a dog named Zuzu!”

Alpha 5 knocked their head against a wall. “Zuzu is the name of someone who’s dead!”

“Oh, so now you admit that Zuzu was a pet.”

Trini looked up. “Wait a minute, what?”

I waved my hand at her as Zordon and Alpha 5 continued bickering. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just let them argue about it long enough and we don’t have to train today.”

Trini shrugged and smiled. “Easy enough.”

We all sat down on the floor in a circle and let the newly christened Zuzu make her way around to each of us, one at a time.

Billy, who was sitting next to me, looked over at me and stared for a moment.

Just as I was about to ask him what was wrong, his face cleared and he smiled, holding out a hand.

“Jason, can you hold my hand like you did with Trini and Zack?”

My heart leapt in my chest and I was well aware of the blush on my face. “Yeah, Billy, sure.”

I took his hand in my and ignored the shock of awareness that it roused in me, simply lacing our fingers together and rubbing circles on the back of his hand with my thumb.

Billy smiled at me, eye bright. “Awesome, thank you, Jason.”

“Anytime, Billy.”

#ColorPowerSquad #Power Rangers #Saban's Power Rangers #Power Rangers 2017 #Cranscott #Trimberly #Zack Taylor #Jason Scott #Billy Cranston #Kimberly Hart #Trini #Trini Kwan #Trini Gomez

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