#ok it's ok to rb now–
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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being vulnerable for a second to use my pooltoy furry oc to convey what recovering from contamination ocd has been like while undergoing hrt.
#being on hrt has been one of the best things to happen to my body#i feel more like myself than i ever had before#and there have been new challenges with my ocd since starting#but my worst day now is so much easier than my worst day before starting!#and my best days are miles better!!!#anyway stay hydrated everyone !#pooltoy furry#pooltoy#my art#ok to rb
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fuck you *unreliables your narrator*
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well i may not be the prettiest person in the room or the coolest person in the room i think im at least the third funniest
#scheduling this for a month from now im at a party rn and I’m feeling silly (Dec 19)#text#ok to rb#^
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still. after all of it. mostly, i want to be kind
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text transcribed under readmore
SMALL DOG SYNDROME
small dog you’re so funny when you snap small dog you’re so funny when you shake small dog you’re so bad when you bark small dog you never learned the rules
small dog lays flat on the floor and sighs and whines while it waits for you to come back from wherever you go all day small dog doesn’t know if you’re coming home small dog hides under the bed to puke does it quiet eats its shame before you ever smell it small dog’s bark is worse than its bite small dog you are so funny when you bite small dog it’s so funny when you’re mad so by all means pick it up throw it around lock it in a cage while you laugh small dog you are so funny when you cry
small dog can’t remember being a wolf can’t remember being big howling in harpstring harmony like a plucked and quivering note in a catacomb sleeping in a warm pile of bodies in a dry place that smells like family the taste of fresh hot blood and wet bone iron fire honey salt
small dog run free beneath the moon in your dreams
small dog is so happy you’re home!! small dog loves you!!!
JMGD
#my writing#spilled ink#spilled poetry#idfk how to tag this#poetry is not dead#words words words#ok to rb#this has very minimal editing and i havent written shit in a long long time now so be nice to me for the love of god
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p e r c e i v e
#apollo justice#trucy wright#ace attorney#aa4#apollo justice trilogy#apollo justice ace attorney#aa fanart#my art#ok neat now let me add the buy links in a rb
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i now need to know
#im losing it @ ‘what do you need to see in there’#but also truly.#now i need to know.#glasses#txt#polls#ok to rb#rb for sample size#( ashley. )
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It's the first time I've sketched Bucky in at least 5 years, and it will likely be the last. But in honor of 10 yrs of CA:TWS, here is the last 11thsense Bucky.... ever🚬
#ok to rb btw#i hate marvel like crazy now and tbh also bucky. just everyone lowkey. but that movie is still my movie srry#captain america#bucky barnes#the winter soldier#CATWS#well last Bucky unless I get paid to draw him lol#and well my Bucky is sexy. sorry to that man on the screen….🤢#my art
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this old world may never change and sometimes i wonder: do you ever think of me?
#my art#ok to rb#christopher moltisanti#when that wizard cursed me and i felt indebted to his soul#sketchbook tour#sopranos#sopranos fanart#christopher your violent delights will undoubtedly have violent ends (are they even your delights to begin with?)#these are like 6 mo old now. at least the first two#i could prob make these look better if i edited them for longer but i cant be fucked. only uploading these now bc i figured if its been 6#months i probably wont ever go scan these with the heavy duty 800 dpi scanner. this works good enough#i dont really draw like this anymore it got really exhausting#i miss watching sopranos so bad i felt like i was feasting on it for days every time i watched an episode. took so long for me to watch#bc anything that makes me feel that high couldnt be good for me. had to space the episodes out by a few days
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what i want to say is that music is a thing of joy for most people. to love an artist or their work, to root for them, is mostly because the music makes us feel happy and supported and seen. sometimes it just makes passing the time easier. feeling saddened or hurt now is valid and real. a connection like this feels and is personal. you’re a human being with a heart. we all are. take care of yourself and look after yourself in any way you can. processing something like this can take minutes to hours to days. look after your heart and your well-being. take it slow if you need to. be gentle with yourself and be gentle to those you know, if they may need it too. let that gentleness and care echo.
#take space away from here tap out for how long you need find a place of solace and love and comfort if you need to#keep his family and friends in your thoughts if you can too#this is ok to rb if anybody feels like they want to#that's all from me for now#al.txt
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tune in next time for more of the game samer im snail reich and that sounds pretty good to me!
#dropout#game changer#sam reich#dropout tv#digital art#vintage#illustration#artists on tumblr#mine#my art#SCREAMS!!!!!#i love sam n his funky little sneakers. you go sneaker boy#so anyway more of this now. more of this foreber#i swear. to god#if one of yall rb this to tag sam#i WILL bite#...#but yknow i am also a gambler so im not saying no...#hi if ur checking ops tags for an explanation:#this yellow snail form is my persona and i often morph it#into characters/people i like#just for my enjoyment#ok thats it buh bye
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Holiday fit 2023 >:3c freshly dyed hair too!!!
#my posts#my face#trans#mtf#lesbian#i also did my eyebrows but im too lazy to get another picture#ok to rb#obsessed with curling my hair now btw
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next time i'm in my chair and very clearly and loudly say 'excuse me' to a group of people who are in the way and all they do is glance at me out of the corner of their eyes without moving an inch i'm just gonna roll through them with no regard for toes. if you wanna pretend i don't exist, I'm gonna pretend you don't either.
#i knew this was something that wheelchair users deal with regularly but now that i'm a chair user myself i'm starting to truly understand#how disgustingly common it is#wheelchair user#cripplepunk#cripple punk#cpunk#c punk#cedar speaks#ok 2 rb
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coping w the horrors by being a sillygoofy guy
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i think a lot about hot sauce and jeannemary. two young girls so ready to kill and to die. a comparison made all the worse when you recall that hot sauce lost all her family to the cohort, that she can specifically recall fourth style necromancy (using corpses as bombs). a fourteen and thirteen year old that could easily have been on opposite sides of the same front line.
#the locked tomb#the loss of childhood! senseless violence!#opposite ends of the propaganda machine#eskildit posts tlt#all of nona the ninth#how am i supposed to tag hot sauce#jeannemary chatur#ok to rb#edit: okay im actually gonna use these tags to ramble a lil#in many ways i feel alecto the ninth is gonna be the hardest book to actually pull off#first for the obvious reason that its an ending and endings are always hard#but second because nona the ninth was by far the most political book of the series#books 1 and 2 following harrow and gideon mean we're following characters on the outskirts of the empire#gideon is individually oppressed by the ninth and even harrow is considered a black sheep outsider of the nine houses#but they are still WITHIN the houses gideon has dreams of the cohort harrow has dreams of of revitalizing her house#nona was our actual introduction to the real consequences of the empire that characters like judith like jeannemary like corona herself#have their livelihoods and status entirely built on the imperial violence we see first hand on new rho#anyway i say all of this to say it means coming back to these characters might be kinda tricky!#the cost of the empire is no longer abstract its extremely palpable!#how does one return to our core cast we've know for multiple books now that we understand that#idk. interested to see where we go!
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