#ok im genuinely losing my mind here bye

[murmurmurl]

mentally eel

[borathae]

Chapter 9

THE WARNINGS oh my god ooh ma gad im excited for this but im scared after last chapter

OH MY GOD HE IS WEARING THE SLUTTY GLASSES 😋🤤😩🥵 the smut is understandable

Uhm…not really, but do you have to? mood💀

ooh vampire books, she is trying to connect stuff i see u gurl

omg the tension is still there even after a week damn

If he messes up the little markings you put in there, you will personally end him. PERIODT

oops joon was here to study welp or is he?? 👀everything is sus here, its soo sad ........... i love it (jimin is such a slytherin for saying that xd)

Oh dear, really?” Namjoon gasps. hunty i can hear the fakeness through a screen and thats saying something

Don’t read this, it doesn’t make sense” oh so this is the one that might be true huh

This story however is claimed to be the babbling of a drunken person did jin make it haha

oh my god im cringing and dying please joon go away, get a stomachache or something and go to the toilet, let there be an earthquake, urgent phone call aaah😭😭

as if someone else was controlling it for a moment while your consciousness is still trapped inside and is trying to escape. But it can’t, so you have to do what your body tells you to do whilst panicking inside. no, but similar one is anxiety attack from the moment you woke up, your consciousness all confused cuz there is nothing to panic but ur body does anyways

list soo long, she wrote it down damn 😭😭

is joon genuinely shocked about the bite marks NO SHE TOUCHED HIS CANINES I-

my canines were really sharp when they were new, and i bit a girl cuz she accidentally choked me and there was 1 deep puncture and small puncture on her hand 😭😭thankfully it didnt get infected

holy shit now we dont know if he is lying or not

nah yall aint gonna study, its going to be jimin pt 2

Namjoon’s steps are silent another sign yall

holy crap, I literally can’t remember.” did joon do that, or is it all jimin and tae's "good night's sleep"?

im losing my mind seeing her losing her mind and joon just scaring both of us AAAAH

I thought you were a complete snob, but you are actually really sweet aHa aHa 😃

they just look a little intimidating. they do until u see them for more than a minute

“Oh ___, you are adorable im starting to think anyone saying this is weird

I’ve talked with you enough to know that your mind has enchanted me OH MY GOD AJBFQ XLAH;CWOUIRA he is not weird/scary and im not scared TAKE ME DADDY IM YOURS

SEXY AND SMART JOON SAYS IM SMART AND WITTY I GOT THE ULTIMATE COMPLIMENT IN LIFE MY JOB IS DONE BYE

HE LIFTED MY CHIN AND WHISPERED “Don’t turn away from me DIED

HOLY FUCK IM GONE DIED EVAPORATED PHOTOSYNTHESIZING

OH MY GOD ITS TOO HOT, I FORGOT WE WERE IN THE LIBRARY

HE SAID PLEASE NO WAY WE WORE UGLY PANTIES

“Hush, it’s okay. Relax IM RELAXED, CALLED ME GOOD GIRL WHAT THE HEL KSDAHDLSKK AFL *turns on fan

ok suddenly im scaredbye NO THE LIBRARIAN SAW US BYE IM SHAVING MY HEAD, EYEBROW AND GETTING FACE PIERCING AND TATTOOS

STOP WE U APPEARED IN FRONT ME STOP LYING AAHAHHAHAJ she is having the same conversation again gosh aaah what power does that screaming have? shit its wednesday and she doesnt know fuck

im more confused and scared and pls just hang out 2seok and kook bye 😭😭😭😭😭

OH MY GOD HE IS WEARING THE SLUTTY GLASSES 😋🤤😩🥵 the smut is understandable

lmaoaooaoao ME FR jfjasdjf also a black turtleneck. the smut is understandable.

Uhm…not really, but do you have to? mood💀

fjdasjf me when men

ooh vampire books, she is trying to connect stuff i see u gurl

LIKE MISS GURL IS SO CLEVER I LOVE HER

omg the tension is still there even after a week damn

akdfkasj me fr like he could get it so hard

oops joon was here to study welp or is he?? 👀everything is sus here, its soo sad ........... i love it (jimin is such a slytherin for saying that xd)

JDFJAJFS no but what was he doing there fr??

Oh dear, really?” Namjoon gasps. hunty i can hear the fakeness through a screen and thats saying something

JFJASDJF he is like *acts shocked* oh no

oh my god im cringing and dying please joon go away, get a stomachache or something and go to the toilet, let there be an earthquake, urgent phone call aaah😭😭

lmaoao the fear is understandable

as if someone else was controlling it for a moment while your consciousness is still trapped inside and is trying to escape. But it can’t, so you have to do what your body tells you to do whilst panicking inside. no, but similar one is anxiety attack from the moment you woke up, your consciousness all confused cuz there is nothing to panic but ur body does anyways

fun fact? i took inspo from my panic attacks JFAJDFJ help me god

list soo long, she wrote it down damn 😭😭

like she is so clever for that though

is joon genuinely shocked about the bite marks NO SHE TOUCHED HIS CANINES I-

"genuinely shocked" HAHHAHAH yes indeed very shocked indeed. also her touching his teeth is so funny like HFHADSHF

my canines were really sharp when they were new, and i bit a girl cuz she accidentally choked me and there was 1 deep puncture and small puncture on her hand 😭😭thankfully it didnt get infected

honestly deserved cause why is she at your neck?

holy crap, I literally can’t remember.” did joon do that, or is it all jimin and tae's "good night's sleep"?

mhmhmmh indeeed mmhmhmmh

im losing my mind seeing her losing her mind and joon just scaring both of us AAAAH

me fr

I thought you were a complete snob, but you are actually really sweet aHa aHa 😃

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH GIRL.

“Oh ___, you are adorable im starting to think anyone saying this is weird

NO BUT YOU AREN'T WRONG FOR THAT JFASJDFAJ imma stick with Yoongi who is rude af to us JFJADSFJ

I’ve talked with you enough to know that your mind has enchanted me OH MY GOD AJBFQ XLAH;CWOUIRA he is not weird/scary and im not scared TAKE ME DADDY IM YOURS

LMAOAO ME FR

SEXY AND SMART JOON SAYS IM SMART AND WITTY I GOT THE ULTIMATE COMPLIMENT IN LIFE MY JOB IS DONE BYE

jfajdsjf felt.

HE LIFTED MY CHIN AND WHISPERED “Don’t turn away from me DIED

BRO NO JOKE ME FR lmoaoa you losing your ass over the smut is so me like if he wasn't so weird about it, i'd be on my knees gobbling him up

ok suddenly im scaredbye NO THE LIBRARIAN SAW US BYE IM SHAVING MY HEAD, EYEBROW AND GETTING FACE PIERCING AND TATTOOS

lmaoaooao

STOP WE U APPEARED IN FRONT ME STOP LYING AAHAHHAHAJ she is having the same conversation again gosh aaah what power does that screaming have? shit its wednesday and she doesnt know fuck

NO BUT THIS IS WHERE IT GETS SCARY BECAUSE WTFFFFFFF

im more confused and scared and pls just hang out 2seok and kook bye 😭😭😭😭😭

honestly?? she should really do that cause 😭

[iwadori]

Haikyu boys when they make you insecure PT 1 (Kenma,Kuroo)

Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6.

Word Count:3k 

genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Kenma:

You and Kenma have been in a long distance relationship for a while.

Both of you stream, Kenma doing it seriously for his job and you just playing it for fun,

Sometimes you stream together of course but because of your difference in audiences and games you don’t do it all the time

“Bye guys! Hope you enjoyed todays stream” You wave off to the camera and shut off your PC taking a few sips of water.

Kenma: Hey.. nice stream today Y/N are you going to watch mine?

Y/N: Of course I will 

Kenma: Ok talk to you later

Y/N: okayy <3

Kenma is what inspired you to stream, he also taught you all the ins and outs of streaming making sure you were set and ready. Your gaming style was very relaxed and friendly as you obviously weren’t streaming as a career just for fun and to make friends with your online viewers. The games you played were usually: minecraft, COD, Sims 4, Roblox, Animal crossing and *Insert your favourite game here* the way I literally named all the games I play 

You wait for Kenmas stream to start, kind of excited as you’ve always loved seeing your boyfriend in his ‘element’ when it comes to playing to games. As your boyfriends stream starts you see he’s already chosen what game he is playing today which is to your surprise Call of duty, since that was the game you were playing earlier.

As he gets into the stream you are entertained, as always since Kenma was being his usual self laughing at his own deadpan jokes and interacting with his viewers. He is currently waiting for his capture the flag game to start so as he waits he decides to read some comments in the chat.

You’re used to the usual ‘Kenma where is Y/N I miss your usual streams together’ or ‘kenma please RAIL me’ which always makes you laugh. You were also used to the common hate comments Kenma and You both got on your streams but you were definitely not ready for this..

@ Ihatewomanandiamadick : Hey Kenma did you see your girls stream today she is so dog shit at COD lmaoooo jhdfkjdrhdrr

“Well hello ihatewomenandiamadick” started Kenma “but yes I did see Y/N stream and obviously she is not the best at games and I would definitely NOT ask her to team with me for any serious gaming competitions ... but she’s fun to watch I guess” as he finished speaking about you his game loaded up so he focused his attention on that the words he just spoke going to the back of his mind as they end up at the forefront of yours.

You obviously knew you were no match for Kenma’s gaming expertise but you didn’t expect him to publicly agree with a hate comment let alone add more of his imput on you. Did he really think that about you? ‘She’s fun to watch I guess’ did he not even enjoy your streams that much?

You wanted to distract yourself, and you definitely couldn’t do that watching him so you close off of his stream and get in your bed deciding to watch your favourite show. 

Waking up at 6pm after your sad nap, you see that Kenma has left some messages to you,

Kenma: hey did you watch my stream?

Kenma: do you want to facetime later and play some minecraft..?

Kenma: y/n r u ok??

Y/N: oh hey cnt play minecraft w you rn not really in the mood..

Kenma: oh ok..

Time passed since then a month to be exact and you basically dropped off of the face of the earth, you weren’t in the mood to do anything let alone game and stream, which was a constant reminder of your boyfriend (something you didn’t want at the time.) 

You felt embarrassed over all the things he said about you and all the things you now think he thinks about you and the way you play. Maybe he thinks even worse things about you, beyond just how you game? What if he doesn’t even genuinely like you...or he has someone else...it does make sense, you do both live miles and miles away from eachother AND he’s a big streamer you see the amount of girls in his comments.

You shake your head to erase your protruding thoughts coming in your mind, but it doesn’t really help. You and Kenma haven’t spoken much over this month he tried to constantly reach out to you at first but you assume he got bored over your constant, repetitive dry texts. So you were almost content with you and Kenma not even being in a relationship anymore.

However on Kenma’s side, he was beyond worried about you. Since you haven’t been streaming or barely responded to his texts he thought something happened to you, but he didn’t want to be seen as ‘overstepping boundaries’ if there was nothing wrong at all with you and you simply were just ‘not in the mood.’ 

So here he is, in Kuroo’s apartment trying to get him to help him out on finding out what is wrong with you.

“So kenma can you remember what happened the day when Y/N went ‘ghost’“ asked Kuroo in a mock detective voice

“Y/N didn’t go ‘ghost’ Kuro, and take this seriously” said Kenma “I’m worried bout her”

“Okay fine, but for real what’s the last thing you remember before she started acting all weird.” 

“Umm I think it was around a month ago I did my saturday stream and I think she was on it but she didn’t leave her usual nice comments throughout”

“Ohh that was the stream when you sai-” Kuroo said before pausing his words as the memory of what Kenma said about you on his stream came in his mind, as even Kuroo thought it was a tad bit harsh for Kenma to say all those things “I think I know why Y/N has been so distant kiddo”

“What why?” Asked Kenma

Kuroo pulls out his phone and brings up the clip off what Kenma said and Kenma’s face cringes ‘did he really say all those things about you’ he thinks. 

“Shit.. I didn’t know I said all of that” he said quietly “how do I make it up to her?”

“There’s only one thing you can really do Kenma” said kuroo

You are woken up out of your sleep by a knock on the door. Getting out your bed like a zombie, you trudge to your front door only surprised by what you see. There in his 5′6 glory stood your ‘boyfriend’ Kenma with a controller and a kitten teddy in his hand. You were very tempted to shut the door in his face and get back to your dreamless sleep but you waited on him to speak.

“Hi Y/N” he said quietly “wanna play some minecraft...?”

“Why so you can ridicule me on how shit I am?” You ask bitterly ready to shut the door on him

“No! No not all” he said stopping you from shutting the door entering your place “Y/N i’m really sorry on what I said, I wasn’t thinking AT ALL... I love watching your streams and I think you’re great at playing games...I was just being a dick,”

You take a deep breath before tears pool in your eyes “what you said really hurt me kenma..” you say “ I know people say shitty things on the internet all the time... it’s the internet. But I wasn’t expecting you to agree with the hater and say even more shitty things on top of that.. I don’t think I want to even stream anymore”

Upon hearing that, Kenma’s mouth parts open with shock ‘you dont want to stream anymore’ were his comments that bad? Now he feel even worse as he should and is now more determined to make things right. 

He impulsively drags your arm into your game room, catching your surprise ‘what is he up too?’ you think. He stops for a second seeing your usual pristine gaming set up, collected up with dust. 

“What are you do-” you start 

“Just wait!” He says, as he rushes away turning on all your stuff and logging onto his twitch account as he sees the views go up he starts to speak

 “Hi guys, its me kodzuken and today I’m here on stream with my beautiful girlfriend and today I want to say..” he turns to you “Y/N im so sorry for the horrible things I said to you that day... I was just being a dick and I’m sorry I really am.”

You look at the chat and you see some confusion and some people recalling his words from last month. “It’s fine Kenma, I forgive you” you say giving him a hug”

“Okay Y/N, so what do you say... wanna beat my ass at bed wars?” He says with a smirk 

“When have I ever loss?” you return his smirk

Of course you did beat his ass as bed wars for rounds on rounds never losing proving yourself to actually be a good gamer girl. You enjoyed your time with Kenma, forgetting what he said before about you and moving on. 

Eventually, you guys moved in together and streamed together all the time and yes you still do play for fun but you’ve gotten way better at COD (some may say better then Kenma) but who is better didn’t matter to any of you, as long as you got to play together that’s all you both cared about.

Kuroo:

Kuroo and you have been together since you were in your first year of high school 

You met as friends first when you got him to tutor you in chemistry ( a subject you still aren’t that good at.)

Now you have your upcoming entrance exams for university in a month so your school has you doing mock exams in preparation for them.

20%

You look down at your chemistry paper that your teacher just handed you. 20%. You’re surprised, very surprised since out of all your subjects (that you go 90+% on) you studied on the chemistry test the hardest ensuring Testurou, that you didn’t need his help at all. But I guess it turns out, you did.

This failing mock grade put a blunder on your day, you didn’t interact with anyone and didn’t want to see your boyfriend so you skipped your usual routine of meeting him on the rooftop and went to the library instead ‘might aswell start early on your studying’ you thought.

As you were going over your chemistry topics, you hear an ‘ahem’ next to you and you turn your head only to find your boyfriend and his friends next to you. Kuroo with his usual goofy smile on his face. 

“Hey kitten where were you at lunch?” he asked 

“Needed to go to the library, Chemistry is kicking my ass” you mumbled 

“Oya” he said as he noticed your chemistry test laying under your textbook “20%, well damn Y/N I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t know you were that stupid” he laughed doing his stupid usual hyena-like laugh.

Ouch well that hurt. You slightly flinched at his words, “Really your name, you didn’t know the molecular formula for ethanol, that’s first year work” he said continuing to laugh “I’m pretty sure that’s one of the first things I tutored you on when we first met” 

His overbearing laughter was not good for you, you were already having a bad day and yes you do know your not that good at chemistry but you didn’t need your chemistry-enthusiast boyfriend to make fun of you for failing. Kenma and Yaku stood there awkwardly obviously aware of how bad Kuroo is making you feel but they didn’t really know how to stop his friend in the moment.Whilst he’s still dying of laughter you decide to pack up your stuff and leave the library.

You managed to get your Chemistry tutor to let you retake your mock paper in a week so that means, extra hard studying with no distractions you definitely can’t fail again. Since studying on your own was definitely not a good option, and you couldn’t go to Kuroo (especially after he ridiculed you) you decided to ask the second smartest person you know to tutor you.

Y/N: Hey Yaku! Can I ask you a favour?

Yaku: Hi Y/N what do you need??

Y/N: I have my chemistry retake next week, and as you know from your loud-loud friend I failed my recent test so can you tutor me?? 

Y/N: Pleaseeee

Yaku: Ok Y/N why can’t you ask Kuroo you know that he’d be more than happy to help

Y/N: Yakuu pleasee just help me out 

So there you was, nearly a week done with your study sessions with Yaku and you’re feeling way more confident than before. 

“Y/N what is the functional group of a Carboxylic Acid” Yaku asked

“umm... COO?” 

“Great! that’s correct Y/N” he praises i dont actually know if it’s correct or not

You then hear a knock at Yaku’s front door and hear his mum let the person in, Kuroo then enters Yaku’s bedroom with shock plastered on his face surprised to see you here.

“Y/N...hey?” he says confused “what are you doing here?”

“Oh Mori-chan is just helping me with chemistry for my retake tommorow” you say nochalantly internally smiling at the twinge in Kuroo’s face at the purposeful use of Yaku’s first name.

“So why didn’t you ask me to help you know I’m a chemistry whiz” he asks

“Maybe I’m too stupid to be taught under your tutelage” you mumble “since I seem to forget whatever you teach me, even when it’s 3 years ago... but ok”

“Y/N I-” he starts 

“Oh save it Kuroo, I have studying to do” you say cutting him off

“But I-” he tries

“So Mori-chan COOH is the function group of ethyl ethonate right?” you ask ignoring your boyfriend who is now at a lost for words

“ummm yeah it is” says yaku who is clearly feeling heavily awkward at the tension in his bedroom.

Kuroo leaves and you and yaku finish off the studying for the night, you did feel a little bad for being a bit mean to Kuroo but it’s karma for him being a dick to you. 

You wake up the next day ready for your exam which was first thing in the morning, before you hand in your phone you see a message from Kuroo,

Kuroo: I know you’re still mad at me, but I think you’re going to do so well on this test. You’re not stupid at all, you’re really smart and I love you < 3 

Kuroo: Good luck Y/N

You don’t respond to the message but smile at the sincerity of it and thankful for the boost of confidence it gave you before you start your exam.

Finishing the exam with a smile, you were confident you did well as everything you and Yaku went over was on the paper and you’re almost certain you atleast got more than 75%. You have to wait an hour before your teacher can give you your results, so in the meantime you might aswell reconcile with Kuroo.

When you exit the classroom, standing there was Kuroo who seemed to have been waiting for you for the whole duration of the exam.

“So how was it?” Kuroo asked, apprenhensive as he assumed you would just ignore him like you did at Yaku’s house.

“It was fine, I think it went alright..” you say

“Kuroo”

“Y/N”

You say simultaneously, he pauses for a second to let you speak “I’m sorry I was being so stand offish when we were at Yaku’s I just wanted you to see I could do it on my own, and when you called me stupid I really took that to heart since you and I both know that Chemistry wasn’t ever my best subject” 

“I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, and since it was only a practice test I didn’t think you’d take it to heart but I am sorry I know you aren’t stupid.”

Before you got to say anything else, your Chemistry teacher exited the room with your chemistry paper in hand. Kuroo grabbed your hand anticipating your nerves and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Miss L/N” said your teacher “Well done on your chemistry test” he turned your test around to sure a perfect 100%. Both you and Kuroo gasped, you were elated to say the least you wanted to jump up and down in excitement but a PERFECT 100%.

“I’d also like to add that you have now got the top chemistry score in the school beating the previous title holder Kuroo Testurou” said your teacher, this made Kuroo open his mouth even wider in surprise nearly making you giggle at his response. 

Your teacher took his leave, leaving you and Kuroo in the hallway “ I guess i’m the chemistry whizz now “ you say wiggling your eyebrows just as Kuroo did to you before at Yaku’s this made him chuckle as he came to put his arm around you.

“Y/N don’t get ahead of yourself now, you may have won this battle but I will win the war” he said smiling

In the final exam, you continue your winning streak also getting a near 100% and still beating Kuroo which didn’t matter to either of you, now you’re just like him cracking chemistry puns and jokes all the time which none of your friends appreciated but atleast Kuroo found them SODIUM funny.

AN: Please kill me for the last line of Kuroos, I didn’t really like Kuroo’s since it was a bit self indulgent with my hate for chemistry but what do you guys think?

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[all-things-mlqc]

The five boys react to an overweight MC that works as a nutritionist but struggles a lot to lose weight? It might be strange but it happens sometimes. PLEASE!!! Btw, I love your work❤️

This was really fun to write about. Knowing that these guys are so supportive of MC and want to help her in any way possible with whatever she’s struggling with is just so sweet. 

Thank you for the love and support as well! 😭 I’m usually just memeing it up out here so writing HCs is very new for me but your support helps so much! I did meme a lot while writing this as well because what’s life without memes, so you can find all of my inner thoughts crossed out~ Hope you enjoy!

HC below the cut~

Gavin:

Gavin loves and supports MC through everything. He’s constantly watching and confronts her whenever he believes something is wrong.

After noticing her sulking at herself in the mirror, he asks what’s troubling her.

“Nothing really! You don’t need to worry about me.”

She gives him a small smile and turns away from the mirror.

He figured it had something to do with her figure given the way she was looking at herself.

He remembered her mentioning how even though she’s a nutritionist, she still struggled with her own weight.

She didn’t seem all that down back when mentioning it, but the expression she had in the mirror said otherwise.

He stood up from the sofa and asked if she wanted to go with him during his morning jog.

“Why would you want me to do that? I’d only slow you down.”

Gavin: I don’t mind. If it’ll help, then I’ll do anything I can.

This man isn’t one for small talk. He gets straight to the point. He observes, finds the problem and seeks out a solution. There was no need for MC to confirm his suspicions about wanting to lose weight; It was all in her expression.

“I don’t really want you to go out of your way for me... Besides, it’s important you don’t slack off with your training.”

Gavin: I wouldn’t be slacking off. Training with you would only make me work harder.

A NATURAL ROMANTIC BUT ALSO A FUCKING MORON WHO GAVE HER A BLOOD SOAKED LETTER. IM GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU YA DUMBASS

MC takes up on Gavin’s offer considering how adamant he was. He also didn’t seem concerned in the slightest about MC being a burden BECAUSE SHES LITERALLY THE LIGHT IN HIS LIFE AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER

After they go jogging, they stop for a healthy meal of MCs choice because Gavin doesn’t know what food is. Have you seen his kitchen? INSTA NOODLES EVERYWHERE. Boy is literally the type to throw a lunchables on the dinner table and give thanks for his beloved meal. Omg nononono I’m thinking of all these sad things now about how Gavin was literally homeless for a while as a kid so he probably just got used to eating something small and simple every day. BYE IMMA GO CRY NOW

While eating, Gavin comes up with a few more ideas to help and offers to take her to his gym every other day.

They come up with a plausible schedule that could seem efficient to MC’s wish of losing weight.

This also gives MC the chance to make sure Gavin is taking care of himself as well.

Kiro:

Kiro and MC meet up when he finally has free time and manages to escape from Savin.

Like their normal days together, they end up walking around Loveland City, going to some sightseeing locations. They just enjoy each other’s company.

When stopping to buy a snack, Kiro grabs two bags of chips and beams up at MC only to see her forced smile. He immediately gets concerned given how positive she always is.

Kiro: Are you ok? What’s on your mind?

“No, it’s nothing. I’m just trying to narrow down on the amount of junk food I eat.”

Kiro: Why is that? You’ve always told me to live to the fullest.

“Well... I’m trying to lose some weight but it seems more problematic than I had originally thought.”

With MC looking ashamed of how little progress she has made thus far, Kiro places both bags back on the shelf with a bright smile.

Kiro: Well if we both work together then there’s no chance we could lose this fight! Besides, Savin has been at my throat lately considering the mount of junk food I’ve been eating recently too.

“Kiro...”

MC stared at Kiro, dumbfounded, who seemed so positive. This gave MC a boost of confidence, herself.

She quietly thanked him while giving him a genuine smile.

They spent the whole day doing fun activities. In a way, this was part of Kiro’s plan to help MC. He knew how much this mattered to her so he wanted to keep a smile on her face while secretly help her from the shadows.

It’s honestly what he does best. It’s hard to tell in the game since we don’t get to see every expression he makes or how he reacts to things, but take a good look at his reactions in the anime. You can see how serious he really is behind his happy facade.

He continues to silently help her every time they spend time together as well as send her encouraging texts and reminders.

Nobody is more positive and encouraging than Kiro~

Lucien:

Lucien knows everything nutritionists know, let’s be real. This man was a child prodigy who skipped half of his school life, going straight to college.

He knows EXACTLY what MC needs. The one problem is, so does MC.

She knows what she needs to do but doesn’t have the kind of support she needs. She easily becomes discouraged when things don’t work out after trying so hard.

Luckily, Lucien is also a wonderful supporter minus when he just “what’s a magic? Don’t know em. No thoughts. Head empty. Only science and death”. Uhu then what do you call that flying cop outside the window? Where’s your science behind that? Lucien: “Well you see, there is a certain DNA mutation that—“ DO NOT ANSWER THAT YOU FOOL I KNOW ITS SCIENCE BUT MAGIC IS EASIER TO ACCEPT RN BECAUSE MY BRAIN GO BRRR

But considering it’s MCs health, he is very supportive and even explains that many people struggle with the same problem. There’s not exactly any problem with how someone looks unless it is overall affecting their health for the worse but he will gladly help MC if she wishes to lose weight.

Knowing that Lucien views it this way immediately gives MC more confidence.

An enormous amount of stress has been lifted off her shoulders which will ultimately help her reach her goal.

Lucien comes up with a solid workout plan and diet that is easy for MC to follow and even offers to make her some special meals to help with weight loss because Bill Nye over here has the solution to everything

I also highkey imagined him whispering in her ear like the first day they met that if she follows his plan without any casualties, he would give her special rewards and yes I do mean THOSE kind of rewards because this man is K I N K Y. I don’t even like him, I blame my friend who’s constantly giving me these ideas about him. You’re lucky you’re a bitch or I’d probably be on the floor for you too.

Victor:

Victor’s biggest struggle is vulnerability. He is very blunt and says what comes to his mind without always thinking it through.

Because of this, he upsets MC when talking about her weight.

He meant no harm from whatever he may have said but notices MC’s sorrowful expression after lifting his eyes from the papers on his desk to meet her gaze.

He immediately acknowledges what he had done and puts everything away for the day, offering to take her to Souvenir.

“What..?”

Victor: I’m done for the day. If you don’t have anything else to do, you can come with me.

“But why?”

Victor: You’re still you regardless of your weight, but if it’s something you want to change, I’ll help.

The man wanted to tell her she’s beautiful and amazing no matter what, but hahaha we all know this man can’t compliment for the life of him. Jkjk he can but like I said before, v u l n e r a b i l i t y. He struggles with expressing his true feelings.

MC responds with pure shock on her face,

“Really?? You’d help me?”

Victor: Only an idiot would ask a question like that. You should count on me more when you’re struggling with something like this.

Baka this baka that. If I don’t add it somewhere, than this whole HC isn’t accurate at all. All you thirsty Victor hoes go watch his baka clip if you want more *spray bottles*

He tidies up his desk and grabs his coat, heading towards the door while MC stumbles over her thoughts.

He only stops halfway out the door to look back over his shoulder at MC.

Victor: Well?

“I— I’m coming!”

She rushes over and follows him out the door.

Victor ends up making MC a delicious and healthy meal, one he knows is a special meal for a weight loss diet.

Cooking was never that important to him. He only learned because of the little girl he once knew. But now... Now he has a new reason to continue cooking.

That girl had come back to him and he would do anything in his power to make her happy.

Shaw:

He watches MC intently as she talks about how difficult it is for her.

Right before MC finishes, he places her on his skateboard and takes off without giving her time to protest.

She shouts in fear ofc. Why wouldn’t she. I’m terrified every time the game says he puts mc on his skateboard just—

Shaw chuckles with amusement in her ear and then tells her to push off with her own feet.

“ARE YOU INSANE?” yes, yes he is

Shaw: I won’t let you fall but I won’t stop until you push.

“Fine fine!”

With the help of Shaw keeping her steady, she’s able to smoothly push off the skateboard a few times.

After getting the hang of it, there’s a slight smile taking place of her feared expression from before.

Shaw’s expression, however, doesn’t change in the slightest. That teasing smirk rests on his face as she continues to push them down the park sidewalk.

As they reach the main road, she yells back to Shaw when the skateboard doesn’t slow down.

“Shaw—!”

It’s all she managed to get out as the fear she once had returned again.

MC shut her eyes with panic as the street grew closer and closer, only to feel an arm wrap around her as the cold wind hitting her face dissipated.

When her eyes opened, she saw Shaw giving her the same mocking smirk he always wears. However, his eyes showed signs of gentleness he doesn’t often express.

He offers her one of his skateboards for workout purposes as well as being her workout partner.

MCs chuckles out of amusement from the idea of HER riding a skateboard by herself. totally a reason why Shaw made this offer. He feeds off of entertainment.

She politely declines his offer of skateboarding but hesitantly asks if he would help her in other ways.

The question needs no thought from Shaw but he doesn’t want her to know he made up his mind to help long ago. ah yes, his one weakness as well, vulnerability

Shaw: I suppose being of assistance to you may turn out entertaining.

MC: Is that all I am to you? A source of entertainment?

She pouts at him half jokingly but he pays no mind to it as he kicks up his skateboard and continues walking ahead while suggesting a few things they can do to help with weight loss. Daring but not enough to scare her away. He actually wants to help but needs her to comply with his suggestions

Shaw is the type to help those he cares for without making it obvious. He believes personal relationships is a weakness for someone like him so he always keeps people at arms length; He always wants a possible way out for when he has to push people away.

While this is true, he’s also struggled with vulnerability his whole life. Considering the type of person his father was, growing up with a man like that not only puts pressure on Shaw, but also forms this broken and terrified personality under his overconfident facade.

Someone please just hold this man, he’s trying his best and needs healing

Their solution for MC is to try some fun activities together. Fun enough for MC to believe that Shaw isn’t going out of his way for her but also not as extreme to the point where MC won’t participate.

[hongism]

Oh. Hi. Hello there. Ms. Calypso.

Ma’am, we…we need to talk. Like sit down for a second and woman to woman, have a good chat.

Let me start off by saying, WOW. Just fucking WOW!!!

Your writing. My goodness!! The world building. The character personality, development and relationships. The dialogue. The scene setting. The emotions.

I am so in awe of you. Like i literally spent a full 48 hours of my life reading, processing, trying to understand the characters that you’ve created, trying to rationalise their actions, their words. Trying to connect the dots from the different points in their life and the people that was in that part of their life. The moments of introspection that i had to pause my reading to ask myself the questions that the characters were48 hours that i cannot get back and yet, 48 hours AND MORE that i would gladly give up again to reread the story from beginning until whenever you decide to end the story.

🤯🤯🤯

I will end with this. Thank you. Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing your…art, your thoughts, your imagination and taking us on this amazing journey.

Please, unless if it is your own accord and just THAT kind of season in your life, do NOT stop writing. Definitely no pressure at all because I’m so fucking impressed and kept losing my words cause i keep redoing this ask probably 5 times over now because i do not want to sound silly and ridiculous with someone that i admire.

So yeah. Keep on keeping on. I hope that the inspiration keeps coming to you and that YOU know that as a writer, but most importantly, a person, you have a lot of people rooting for you. You’re always so kind and friendly and open with your readers and it brings me so much joy to witness the interactions. And i want to take this opportunity to tell you that you’re more than welcome to send me an inbox if ever you need a listening ear, or spazz buddy because Hongjoong be a beautiful, talented and awkward turtle of a hooman and just…🥺🥺🥺🥺😍😍😍😍

Ok. Love you!!! Bye!!!

For the record, I’m kinda high when i sent it that first ask. But i was referring to MOC and if i notice any…unclear or a point i need to explain further, I’d probably send another ask later. So yeah. 😬😬😬

hello hi this is so wholesome and cute pls 😭😭 im more than happy to have a lovely cute lil woman to woman chat here you're so sweet ;-;

you've really got me ultra speechless here to be honest words are leaving my mind as im trying to type them, but.... man brain just won't find the proper words here. the barest minimum i can say is thank you. it's always a joy and precious to me when someone says they enjoy my writing, and that's something that never goes away so this is meaningful to me. and it's still incredibly.... mind blowing that i have been given a gift really, that's what i see it as, i've been given the gift of being able to write, being able to visualize these fantastical things and create a universe out of nothing, and to be able to both do that and to more importantly share that story - that's truly something i take great pride in and i place a lot of value in it as well, so it means so incredibly much to have this really, have these conversations, and talk like this with people about things i've been able to share. there was a point in my life where i wasn't sure where i would be or if i'd even be here to do something as 'menial' as writing. i never imagined that i would be able to create this world that so many can escape to, and it's so precious to me that so many are sharing that journey with me, because it's just as much a journey and a world to escape to to me as well.

thinking about things like,,,, the end of both this story and my time writing scare me a lot, and they intimidate me, and they make me sad. writing has been with me as part of my life for over half my life now. frankly, i think my brain is too full of ideas to ever lose that love i have for writing. where sometimes inspiration and motivation are hard to come by, i think i never want to reach a point where i stop altogether.

i can't really put to words how meaningful it is to hear that i have people rooting for me both as a writer and a person, that's something still so incredible to me, and some people might see that as 'fishing' for compliments or 'humble bragging', but genuinely, as someone who spent most as her school life as someone rather 'invisible' and who felt very unimportant for a while, this community has helped teach me how to love myself, and i say that with genuine honesty. just thank you so much, and thank you for being friendly and sweet and kind too that's very precious and special to me as well and i appreciate it so much 😭💖💕💖💕💖💕

[kinkymagnus]

okay im fucking LOSING MY MIND LAUGHING

normally i like block anon hate and i might do a quick generic response but i don’t necessarily show the ask but this is too fucking funny not to. this is genuinely the best anon hate i’ve ever gotten. i’m almost wondering if it’s a joke surely someone isn’t this goddamn stupid???

ok ok ok so.

first of all. i actually was joking, mostly because while magnus’s actor, harry,  is very attractive he’s like late 30s and it would be kind of weird for someone that much older than me to have sex with me. and while magnus is, again, super hot, i also ship him with alec more than i actually want to have real sex with him or something, particularly again given the age thing and my own unrelated issues, so like, if somehow magnus bane became real, i would not want to have sex with him. although that’s irrelevant, as he isn’t real, and fantasies are harmless even if i was fantasizing about that, but whatever.

second. even if i wasn’t. what the fuck. i literally wouldn’t even be doing anything wrong.

anon please tell me what’s disgusting about being attracted to a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. it’s not like i’m out here thirsting over a 12 year old anime girl with huge tits or something, so i honestly don’t see the issue. he’s a fictional adult, and also he’s hot. people have fantasies about fictional characters all the time?? this is normal?????

like 1. on a more serious note some people only feel comfortable with sexual fantasies about a fictional character because it’s more coherent than vague “and then im having sex with...someone” but also its unattainable and like, can’t hurt you, and also, you don’t feel weird being attracted to someone (although you never should anyway unless they’re way younger than you or something??) and also again 2. WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM? DO YOU THINK THIS IS LIKE BESTIALITY AND THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CAN’T CONSENT TO [checks notes] YOU FINDING THEM SEXY??? WHAT THE FUCK they’re not REAL, karen 

and even so no one needs consent to find someone attractive lmao what the fuck it’s attraction not action

i genuinely can’t get over this it’s so fucking funny “ERRRM just learned that you think a fictional character is hot. [vine voice] blocked and reported” i????????

or is this about the specific use of the word “topping” which is referring to the fact that i personally prefer being on the receiving end of things, but would be willing to be the “giver” so to speak for him? it’s a joke, i’m not even necessarily classifying him as A Bottom and me as a A Top in that post (although even if i did mlm joking and/or seriously headcanoning this shit is not the same as like Cishet Women clowning about it)  like..... ok??????? 

also “writing porn of characters is one thing but WANTING TO FUCK THEM YOURSELF? TOO FAR. IF YOU WRITE SELF INSERT YOU’RE GOING TO HELL.” i??????????????????????? I????????????????

I ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW THE LOGIC BEHIND THIS I WON’T EVEN BLOCK YOU YET. because despite the whole “blocked and unfollowed” someone only sends anon hate like this when they want attention, and i have no doubt you are going to be checking my blog to see me crying or angry about this. of course, now that i’ve said that you might not respond out of spite or some childish willingness to be like “NUH UH” but like, we both know the truth. and i mean, congrats, you got my attention, look at how fuckin long this response is

anyway despite how hilarious i find this....  like i just... “oh...i......its wrong to joke about wanting to top a fictional character who literally couldn’t care less....it’s WRONG TO BE ATTRACTED TO FICTIONAL CHARACTER....WRONG TO GET OFF ON FICTIONAL CHARACTER (why do you think people read my porn, buddy, for the intellectual stimulation?) WRONG TO WANT FICTIONAL SEX WHEREIN YOU COMPLETELY SET THE BOUNDARIES AND WHAT GOES RIGHT AND WRONG AND IT IS SAFE AND THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CANNOT HURT YOU IT’S THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER WE AREN’T EVEN MAKING WEIRD COMMENTS ABOUT THE ACTOR--”

[ahem] despite how funny this is, anon hate isn’t cool, and also, dude. if you really were upset by me.... [im about to start giggling again] being. being attracted. to a fictional character. like................ just......... unfollow. hell, you can block me if you want to, god knows i understand blocking people who make content that doesn’t feel comfortable to you. 

but like, sending a petty anon ask (anon! coward! if you’re gonna send hate show me your face!) being like “WELL I HOPE YOU’RE HURT, BECAUSE I HATE YOU NOW, YOU DIRTY SLUT, HOW DARE YOU DO THIS CONTENT I DON’T LIKE” is wrong! even if i was actually doing something that really was gross! even if i’m following someone and i find out they’re into j*lec incest or something, i don’t go into their inbox and go “DISGUSTING. THAT’S WRONG AND RACIST AND GROSS. BLOCKED AND UNFOLLOWED.” even though it is, and they are, because i have class. i unfollow, block, and move on! 

but like, this is even worse because it’s something so mind blowingly trivial it’d be like if i went into some poor person’s inbox like “YOU MADE A POST SAYING YOU THOUGHT AN ACTOR WAS CUTE. FUCK YOU. THAT’S DISGUSTING. BLOCKED AND UNFOLLOWED.” like??? ok??? bye. good riddance

anyway you’re really hurting yourself more than me. i mean, i’ve got [checks notes] holy shit my follower number has gone up one. 

oh my god this is so fucking funny i’ve got one new follower and as far as i can tell it doesn’t look like anyone’s unfollowed unless there’s another new follower buried in the notifications and/or you unfollowed ages ago. did you even unfollow or are you just trying to shame me for thinking magnus is hot, which he is???

that is so fucking funny oh my god i’m just laughing harder the longer i look into this

anyway i was going to make a joke about 601 going down to 600, a nice round number, and like, i wasn’t going to miss you, i block book stans that follow me all the time and people unfollow me for various anti reasons all the time, i’m used to losing followers, you’re the one who is apparently missing out on my porn--speaking of which, why do you like my porn? you can’t be attracted to the characters, right, because that’s a sin? or is it ok if you’re only watching but not involved. like the “it’s not gay if you’re watching and not touching” kind of rule. 

i just.......

“but then wanting to have sex with a FICTIONAL character???wtf??” LKGJFLGKHJFH I CAN’T GET OVER THIS THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY “i expected better of you” FROM ME? THE PORN BLOG? DID YOU THINK I DIDN’T FIND THEM FUCKABLE IN ANY WAY???????? I?????????????????????? 

also did you send a similarly childish ask to all the other people on that post? not that i’m encouraging you do but tothetrashwhereibelong sadly had their inbox closed and has personally expressed interest in a dumbass rant from you when we were laughing about this, so you can send that to me and i’ll carry the message! they’d be delighted to hear it.

anyway i’m actually not going to block you just yet because i honestly want another response but i’ll give it a few days, maybe longer. i’m so curious and also this is so funny lmaooo 

[tiffgeorgina]

what did you think of the new episode???

OH LORD i had a lotttt of thoughts on this episode, understandably. CONTENT WARNING FOR DISCUSSIONS OF SUICIDE AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THIS POST (it’s a long paragraph). also obviously spoiler warning for 2x08.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

please reach out to somebody if you’re feeling distressed after this episode, or if you or a loved one is considering self harm or suicide. im always here if you need somebody to vent or talk to. i love you all and i would be devastated if anything happened to any of you. 

anyways, episode discussion below:

-first of all, the corgina scene at the very beginning was PRICELESS. tiff and corkie had it DOWN until tiff lost her cool. i was DYING. casey wilson invented the word “fuck.”

-marcus/dawn and connie/mo double date. this whole scene had me CACKLING. marcus being such a comrade was not at all what i expected. the three-on-one connie smackdown i could not BREATHE. also includes classic moments such as “we’re doing black shit right now keith” and regina stealing every scene she’s in. also WOMEN xosha roquemore (connie) in dark lipstick is the best part of s2 prove me wrong

-also kind of out of order but dawn calling mo her best friend did not sit right... like in my soul. it’s like inherently wrong. so STRANGE to hear her say that.

-but connie sucks at being subtle lmfao dawn was not having any of that 

-“i can’t vote. im a felon” just out of nowhere GOD. and the fact that that’s the first time dawn’s learning that mo went to prison is fucked up. i’ve never seen a woman want a man to shut up so badly, and i’ve never been so glad that said man did not shut up lmfao

-tiff and blair’s apartment looks so good yes god!! also this season keeps referencing blair’s parents and it’s kind of putting me on edge. especially since next episode is “blair [being] forced to revisit his past.” on another note, andrew’s voice in this scene is SO FUNNY. you can tell he’s a voice actor i think

-also like we knew blair was into older men but now we like know lmfao. the richard gere jokes had LAYERS these writers outsold

-ok blair&tiff’s relationship... yikes. i cannot tell what the writers want their relationship to be. are they unhealthy and toxic and bad to each other? or are they platonic soulmates and life partners? make up your MIND, showtime.

-DON’T INFANTILIZE THE CUP BYE KJDFHGDFKJ

-first blarris scene was TENSE. acting good

-the confirmation that roger has kids... i mean i suspected it from the moment tuc’s character was announced in september but it makes the ending so much more painful. i KNOW that’s the only reason why they pushed the fact that the harrises are parents in this episode, bc it was never confirmed earlier.

-i hate how funny michael hitchcock is. im trying to hate newell but im laughing. why are his lines so funny who wrote this. 

-the sound design in this episode was a lot to take in. the music was intense asf and it stays intense throughout the whole ep

-keith cracking onto blair and trying to reconcile with him bc he’s feeling empathetic but blair shutting him down... can’t say keith doesn’t deserve it but i would’ve loved to have seen keith and blair just talk about being closeted and having affairs and shit.

-THE TRUMP CHILDREN LMFAOOOO they all look so smug the casting was great this ep

-mo shit talking connie TO HER FACE bc he knows connie can’t give up the act... fucking priceless i love to see it acab

-dawnroe physical contact hhhhh can you tell im rewatching this ep as i type this

-the wording on the “you’re with the FBI?” line is so perfect. bc it makes it totally sound like dawn’s onto mo and connie when really she’s just like “you’re siding with the FBI bitch?” highkey genius line

-posted this too early by accident oops. im still editing im not done yet lmfao

-MARCUS MO AND DAWN SAID ACAB FUCK YES

-ROGER GRABBING BLAIR’S HAND I AM ASCENDING. i knew about the hand holding scene there but i didn’t think roger would initiate it <3

-roger nearly kissing blair :’/

-LORD the trump children are little shits god

-daddy says it makes me look hot. you mean cute? ...no.

-oh GOD not this blarris scene. i like to believe that a gay person generally wouldn’t threaten to out another gay person on principle, but blair has shown how shitty of a person he's become all season. i hate it and it’s still ooc but i’ve seen worse on this show tbh.

-roger’s got a point, if he supports his campaign fund manager right off the bat, he’ll look like a total fraud and his career will be over. the fact that blair barely gives a shit really speaks to what his character has become. “fuck them” what a classic line

-ANDREW’S ACTING!!! his voice when he says “you use me” ugh i felt that in my chest. plus roger looking away after he says that... i mean god this cast is so talented

-blair snapping god. he’s got a point, he and roger have been dysfunctional asf all season. doesn’t justify threatening to out somebody AT ALL but finally hearing some emotion out of blair, a little bit of anger and frustration, it’s refreshing.

-does “who are you, blair?” count as a parallel to “who are you, pfaff?” from 1x01?

-blair outing roger to newell... yikes. again ooc and bad. blair’s a shitty guy but we’ve seen him have empathy before, even in s2. why would they make him do this i don’t get it.

-keith finding out about lenny is good. maybe something will finally come of this arc?

-parallel to 2x02 with blair mentioning his mom’s phrase, cool. probably gearing us up for more references to his parents next ep, culminating in a flashback to his childhood in 2x10.

-this scene where the trump kids are destroying everything is classic. you can genuinely tell that everybody there was having so much fun shooting that. idk, it’s nice.

-trump reveal HA what a great end to that scene

-keith coming by and fucking everything up... i mean i guess everybody KNOWS now. dawn/marcus is over (good) and dawn is probably right pissed at mo rn. but hey, fuck em all resurgence!!! ive been waiting for it and now it’s here!

-im scared, what’s connie gonna do? fuck cops

-“that’s a long way to go just to get a dig in” “it was a stretch but-” see what happens when you’re a narc? you lose your wit :/ sad! nice exit line from connie tho

-CW SUICIDE MENTION. ok time to talk about what definitely needs to be talked about. god this has had my chest hurting all day yesterday. i knew blarris would be outed eventually bc sho likes to milk every plot point for every bit of drama they can get out of it, but i did not expect roger to take his life. and blair finding him is just devastating. i said this on twt, but the fact that somebody could be so overwhelmed with internalized homophobia that being outed could cause them to commit suicide is so incredibly and deeply sad to me. i’ve been crying for a while over that fact. 

im just. im really sad. i’ve connected so much with these characters over the past two-ish years and this is such a devastating turn of events. i have no words. it isn’t bad writing or ooc by any means, it’s just so extremely and incredibly sad. there are probably thousands of people who have been in roger’s exact position before, and the realism really hits me hard. i can’t put into words how overwhelming sad this makes me. 

also pretty upset that this came as a COMPLETE shock to me and all my friends. we all watched on the sho streaming service, which did not have the “viewer discretion advised” card before the ep. the premier did, but the episode on the app did not. i really REALLY wish they had added that before i had seen the episode so i could prepare myself, even if just slightly. also wish they had added a suicide hotline number at the end. 

seeing blair grieve his loss is going to hurt but it’s probably going to give us closure too. i think about this show all the time, and now thinking about it makes me so overwhelmingly sad. i sound dramatic but this show has been with me for so long. not being able to see much of blair’s reaction beside the initial shock has been haunting me. im so scared for what the future episodes are going to bring.

thank you for reading, i love you all <3

[qweeby]

Nine Lives To Short Part 1:First Life of Many

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔

Pairing Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader!

Genre: Angst

Tag: @foxypuppy

Plot: You only have 9 days to tell him how you feel....but maybe 9 days just isn't enough

The bus finally pulls up breaking the tension between you and Hitoshi you let out a sigh of relief as the doors to the bus opens.

You both step onto the bus and try to find a seat, Hitoshi nudges your arm gentle "Hey you wanna sit in the back?"

You don't respond to him....I mean how could you with that stupid question you asked him still looming over you like a vengefulspirit. "Maybe I should've stayed quiet" "Did I say to much?" "H-how much did I say?!" .

Your mind begins to think of the worst possible scenarios but then you snap out of it as you feel something warm cover your hand.

It's Hitoshi's holding your hand as he takes you to the open two seater in the back.

Y/n suddenly feels her face heat up as her cheeks blush red this feeling is something that can happen only once in a life time so....you enjoy this short tiny bit of contact like it was your last.

Shinsou hold out his hand giving you access to the seat next to the window "Here you go I know you like sitting next to the window so-" he stares at you and notices your blush and can't help but to do the same.

Seeing you look up at him with genuine happiness makes his chest feel warm and his throat tighten.

"Thanks Hitoshi...". Y/n sits down and scoots over to the window while Shinsou sits down next to you.

Shinsou takes out his headphones once again and puts them on resuming his paused music however before he puts his phone away he receives a text from Izuku Midoriya.

" Hm? What does Midoriya want?"

The Promblem Child🥦

Izuku: Hey Toshiiii~😜

Shinsou: ......kaminari why the fuck do you have Izuku's phone......

Izuku: MY PHONE DIED🥀😪 so I swiped Midoriya's phone while him and Bakugo are arguing in the living cuz bakugo sucks a uno and his sweaty hands are fucking up the cards but they not important rn

Shinsou: ok so what do you want with me

Izuku: Me and and guys are gonna go bowling tomorrow and we wanted to see if you wanted to come 🥺

Shinsou: I don't know I'm kinda busy after school🤷‍♂️sooooo....

Izuku: COME ON YOU GOTTA GO YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SHUTDOWN BAKUGO'S YELLING

Shinsou: Sounds like I'm baby sitting 😑

Izuku: YOU WON'T BE! YOU CAN BRING Y/N IF YOU WANT SO YOU WON'T BE COMPLETELY ALONE PLEASE ANAJHSHSHAJJS

Shinsou: Ok! Ok I'll go but I'll have to ask y/n about what she thinks

Izuku: I KNEW YOU WOULD COME AROUND TOSHI!

Shinsou: Dumbass go put your phone in your mouth you doofus🥱😴

Izuku: I-

Shinsou turns off his and focuses his attention towards you as your head is resting on his shoulder. Shinsou tries his hardest not to ruin the moment so he obviously he stupidly asks " Y-you wanna...hold hands again? I'm getting cold over here".

You normally brush off Hitoshi's stupid flirting because he sucks at it but hearing that he wants your warmth....he need your warmth...Hitoshi needs you.

You and Hitoshi locks hands together both completely quiet but internally freaking out.

Shinsou's brain starts going into overload as he starts think about every romantic movie and think about how they would fuck up a situation like this "Oh no she's really close shit! SHIT DOES MY BREATH STINK?! I DON'T KNOW! BUT I DON'T WANT HER TO FIND OUT,DAMMIT HOLD YOUR BREATH!" Shinsou does just that but you see him oddly do this.

Then you start thinking,"He's holding his breath? Why...did he sniff me...DO I STINK OH GOD I HOPE I DON'T IM SORRY HITOSHI!!!".

The bus hits a speed bump to causing all the seats to jump and it cause the two dummy's to bump heads.

"OW! DAMMIT! Hey are you ok?" You both say in unison then there is a short pause before the both of you burst out laughing.

"We're both so stupid haha!".

"Nah were not stupid great minds think alike " Hitoshi snickers.

You lean in closer to Shinsou as you poke the bump he got on his forehead from crashing into you " OW! HEY!" "That's what you get".

Sometime passes and the bus finally reaches the home bus stop in front of your house. Hitoshi and you get off watching it leave. "Hey Y/n are you busy tomorrow?"

"Umm no actually I'm free why you wanna hang out?"

Hitoshi beams as he scratches the back of his head just then a creepy smile form's on his face " Oh that great! Denki invited me to go out bowling and I wanted to bring what bakugo would call an extra"

You playful punch Hitoshi in the arm " Hey! Don't call me an extra! Ohhhh I swear I'll go feral on Katskui!"

"Oh I know you will... you always do but before you go in I wanna ask are you really ok...?"

Once again you ignore his question he notices and sighs "Y/n i won't use my quirk to make you talk....i promise ...".

Y/n stops smiling as she turns her back on Shinsou walking to the door.

"H-hey did you hear me y/n come on talk to me what wrong?", " I'm really glad I got to meet you Hitoshi Shinso.....You're such an amazing guy and... I just-."

And with that the tears began to fall down your face you look back at Hitoshi to see he's completely shaken up bye your sudden rush of sadness.

" Everything you've done for me there no way words can describe how happy I've been being friends with you and how much you left a impact on me"

Shinsou stops her " what up with all this crazy talk y/n? why are you acting like one you walk through that door I won't see you again?"

You think it would be better then wasting away until you day in 9 days then maybe your heart wouldn't be hurting so much like it is now, hell this pain feels like it's hurts more than the pain the quirk will bring.

Hitoshi brings you into his arm embracing your body in hug. "I promise you that we will be together always and besides-...."

"We got all the time in the world"

Hearing that one line....it finally sinks in that y/n is gonna die...so she does the only thing she can.

You clench Hitoshi uniform as you bury your head in his shoulder and began to breakdown in Shinsou arms. "Y/n?! Hey hey don't cry it'll be ok"

You scream and beg Hitoshi not to leave " You can't leave please don't! I don't wanna lose you Shisou!". "Woah woah lose me? Y-you're not gonna lose me...let's go to my house and clean you up I don't want you parents to see you like this".

Hitoshi takes you to his house right across the street. He quickly opens the door and sits you on the couch "I'll be right back just stay here ok", you nod and Shinsou leaves.

"I don't wanna bring Hitoshi into this and get him all worked up because of me he does so much for me as it is...you know what I mean right?" Shinsou's just meows back at you.

"Of course you get it Kabuki...Hitoshi is always taking care of both of us" you say while petting Kabuki. "I guess liking Shinsou isn't the only thing we have in common huh...".

A few minutes go by and Hitoshi is sitting on the couch wiping your face "Hitoshi come on I know how to whip my own face!". " If you stop moving MAYBE me can get this done quicker!".

Shinsou sighs and lays back on the couch "There now you're all clean up, you're welcome". You lay ontop of Shinsou patting his chest "Looks like the day is saved thanks to pro hero Mind Freak~". He pushes your face smushing it with is hand.

" Ew I told you I'm not calling myself myself mind freak!"

" IT'S COOL!"

" IT'S SCARY! IM TO TRYING HELP PEOPLE NOT TO SCARE THEM OFF" "We'll I'm here and I'm not scared of out you!".

Hitoshi softly puts his hand on your cheek "what I said out there wasn't a lie, Y/N I'm here if you need me...every step of the way...."

You hold Hitoshi hand as your hearing starts to diminish and your body begins to fell light that you begin to wobble and sway back and forth.

"Yeah.....we got all the time in the world...."

Y/n suddenly fall sideways onto the floor lying there motions while Hitoshi eyes widen as he screams " Y/N!!!!"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔 As the the first day has come to an end so has 1 of the many lives. And so far Y/n has lost her first life.....🥀

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Homestretch....the final Cyberverse episodes... :’(

Season 3: Episodes 21 - 26

Episode 21

Ok so before we start, I gotta fess up and say I got spoiled for something because Twitter Sucks, so I know Tarn is in this series. Here are my predictions about that: 

Megatron said he rescued Astrotrain from a tyrant. I thought he meant an Alt!Universe version of him, but now that I know This Bastard is gonna be in it, I’m guessing it’s Tarn

If Megatron DID save Astrotrain from Tarn, it’d be hilarious if Tarn & co. weren’t actually planning to kill Astrotrain, they were just using him as transport, in which case Megatron essentially car-jacked (train-jacked?) them.

As much as I rag on Tarn and the DJD I actually do genuinely love the idea of an Autobot + Decepticon teamup against the DJD THAT WOULD BE SO FRICKIN COOL....

Anyways, on to the episode!

Pics taken 10 seconds before disaster, rip Cosmos.

MEDIA BOT and Cosmos! :D GOSH COSMOS REALLY IS CONFIRMED FOR BABY THAT”S ADORABLE.....I’m so glad he’s finally back in a cartoon

OH WHOOPS I FORGOT WINDBLADE WAS FRICKIN DEAD (ish)

LUNA 3???

The “FORBIDDEN” moon? 

Chromia: You can go there anyways! Bee: Huh?  Chromia: When have the rules ever stopped you before? Bee: Fair point

BRO WHY DO YOU HAVE A TOY OF SQUIDSCREAM

aw I love all those photos of him and cosmos, that’s cute

Oh no did he quit the business because he lost Cosmos???

METEOR-FIRE what a cool name

I like this dude a lot

I love that he’s obviously depressed about losing his partner but immediately gets convinced to go break into Luna 3 lmao

HE’S GOT CUTE CAMERAS WITH HIM I love that

LMAO I was gonna say “Wow you just flip the switches alright” THEN HE JUST RIPS THE CORDS OUT I love this guy

Hmm suspicious

Aw I love the space-shots of Cybertron, what a gorgeous planet....

Oh hello cannon-fodder #418

SHOCKWAVE SHOCKWAVE SHOCKWAVE!!!!!

IT”S THE GRUDGE LMAO

It’s probably a sim that shows you the scariest thing you can think of

BLURR!!! AW THAT’S SO SAD

Ok I take it back, it’s probably like MTMTE’s “Cyberutopia” thing where it reads your memory files

Watch the cameras Bee!!!

“Bee, I don’t mean to alarm you, but the alien presence has taken over my circuits” *HEAD DOES A 180* GOSH I LOVE THIS FRICKIN SHOW

The facial expressions in this show are SO FUN Bee’s so expressive I love that

I like that Meteor-Fire is so chill about this, this ain’t his first rodeo

He just snaps his neck back into place that’s so freaky and they play it off so well lol

PRETTY SPACE BALL???? PRETTY SPACE BALL!!! HEY HASBRO CAN YOU MAKE A TOY OF THIS I WANT IT!!!!!!

Gosh I’d legit buy a gem like this if it had constellations engraved on it THAT’S SO PRETTY I LOVE IT

It’s a good thing that Bee’s got Meteor-Fire with him, this is his field!!!

Oh lmao JUST KIDDING I GUESS

Well so much for the alien, rest in pieces

I think Saling already said this in their liveblog but I love that Bee’s collecting Windblade’s parts a-la-Megaman X2 style

COSMOS!!!!!! Yay I’m so glad they got him back!!!

Meteor-Fire: Look everybody, Cosmos is back!!! :D ME TOO BUD I’m so excited to see my space-baby

RODDY AND ARCEE!!!! I love that Percy took over for Maccadam, but that’s also so sad!!! ALSO WHY HAS HE NOT FIXED HIS EYES, RATCHET PLEASE HELP THIS POOR GUY

Episode 22  

OHH PRETTY PLANET

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The background designers on this show are great

Rodimus: That place has nothing but bad memories for me Every Drift fan simultaneously: Mood....

I really don’t think they’ll bring Drift back (unless he’s like, a zombie, which would still suck) so that’s a bummer

Rodimus: *Talking about his trauma* Me, very distracted: Wow Bee looks really cute here

SERIOUSLY THOUGH THEY NEED RUNG IN THIS SERIES They need a therapist in every Transformers series, all these bots need therapy (though tbf they tried to give Starscream therapy and that sure didn’t help, pft)

GRIMLOCK MAYBE DON’T--oh ok too late WELL THERE THEY GO

Repugnis?? I don’t remember who that is

A CITY?????? PRETTY

INSECTICON

lmao the frickin voice actor for that grey dude cracked me up

BEE MAYBE DON’T IMMEDIATELY TRUST THEM

Energon masters???? What

Interesting that they used “She” for Grimlock

Affluence?? 

Oh great these guys are the Cybertronian bourgeoisie 

Oh boy they’re just wasting energon huh

THE SHOCKS????

That’s a pretty bubble but JEEZ

OH NO WHY CAN”T HE TRANSFORM??

WAIT WHERE”S THE AUDIO oh wait no OP did mention there was an audio dropout

Is Grimlock gonna make friends with the bugs!!!

OH RIGHT the bug is Repugnis 

Aw the bugs are way nicer than the bourgeoisie, surprising absolutely no one

HELL YEAH, EAT THE RICH GRIMLOCK

“If we let you go, things will change! We like things the way they are” jeez

I wonder how the Shocks came about

It frickin figures

PRISON BREAK BEE!!!!

EAT HIM GRIMLOCK!!!

“Well this is quite astonishing” cute....

YEAH I WAS WONDERING IF THEY HAD THE SAME ALT MODE they looked like they had bug-bits, I didn’t realize that thing was keeping them from transforming though

Episode 23   

Oh right Megatron has a Matrix of Leadership I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

I ALSO FORGOT WHIRL WAS IN THIS SERIES, MY BABY.....

JETFIRE WATCH OUT YOU BIG NERD

“Rack ‘n Ruin and Ratchet” OH IS THIS GONNA BE A RATCHET EPISODE??? PLEASE?????? PLEASE SAY RATCHET EPISODE

Aw poor Rack n Ruin...

RATCHET BABY BOY!!! I forgot he was a New Yorker in this series lmao

“I LOVE Jetfire!”  “I know, me too!” CUTE....

I love that every continuity has Ratchet stuck with someone who annoys him in a ship

I love that Ratchet’s not even concerned

RATCHET’S DESIGN IN CYBERVERSE IS SO CUTE...

Wait UNSPACE???? Isn’t that where they sent a bunch of bad people????

Different Quantum Frequencies??? Dimensionally aligned??? MAN I LOVE THIS GOOFY SHOW

“It’s a blue-purple” CUTE....

UH OH HERE COMES ASTROTRAIN throwing dead-end??

I love that Astrotrain is so HUGE compared to everyone else, thank you Cyberverse for my life

“Every time..” LMAO GOSH THIS SHOW IS LITERALLY THE BEST someone please make a gif of that. I love that this implies that every time someone rides in Astrotrain they get ejected at 100 mph and skid 50 ft face-first, that’s such a delightful mental image. I think this 5 second scene is legitimately one of my favorite goofs / scenes in this show IT’S JUST THAT GOOD

You can tell I really enjoyed something when I make a meme of it

IT”S ILLEGAL TO BE THIS CUTE!!!!!!!!

OK IT’S LEGITIMATELY A LITTLE FRIGHTENING TO SEE HOW HUGE ASTROTRAIN IS WHEN IN ATTACK-MODE, HE SO EASILY PICKED THEM UP but that’s why it’s cool for him to be SO much bigger than they are, I LOVE BIG CYBERTRONIANS

LMAO I LOVE ASTROTRAIN he’s such a turd to DeadEnd

“Time to pay Ratchet a house-call. ‘Cuz he’s a doctor!” I almost snorted my drink up my nose, I LOVE THE DORKY HUMOR IN THIS SHOW

I swear this series was made with me in mind

TWO HEADS, NO BRAINCELLS

You wonder if Shadow Striker and Soundwave ever just rock-paper-scissor to see who has to deal with the latest Autobot bs that day

“And we don’t” OH SHOOT THEY’RE BEING LEFT OUT OF THE DECEPTICON’S PLANS TOO...This is more dire than I thought

Man I really do love Shadow Striker and Soundwave, they’re the only competent Decepticons

OH NO NOT RATCHET!!! NO!!!!!

Ohh so Astrotrain is still a triple changer in this series!! :O

WOW A SHOT TO THE HEAD REALLY DIDN”T DO ANYTHING HUH

REST IN PIECES DEADEND lmao he and Percy both have good survival stats it seems

NICE MOVES GRANDPA glad your hips still work lol

Oh good I’m glad they actually kept the purple thing

RIP Rack n Ruin

DEADEND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS

YEAHHHHH SHADOW STRIKER AND SOUNDWAVE!!!!!

“You’ve been told this area is off-limits” Oh shoot so Megatron really doesn’t trust them with this huh??? Must be some serious stuff they saw while universe-hopping

“Make us” SOUNDWAVE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY SASSY BOY

Love that he’s pissing off this dude who’s literally 4 times his height, love my son

Shadow Striker & Soundwave are Goth / Jock solidarity

Ratchet: Yeah yeah yeah I know Cuteeee

Wow they’re really not gonna help Shadow Striker and Soundwave????

THEY’RE LITERALLY JUST DOLL-SIZE IN HIS HANDS which is probably a not great reminder for Soundwave after that Dr. Tentacle Dude incident

Astrotrain: *bops their faces together* heehee Soundwave: BI Shadow Striker: >8(

JEEZ, BYE ASTROTRAIN

THE STYLE IS SO JARRING I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE UNSPACE AND HOW IT LOOKS (especially when contrasted with the regular drawing-style of the show. Really great artistic choice!)

Oh shoot so Astrotrain can just leave whenever huh

Aw what cute high fives, man this show has such good vibes

Episode 24  

NOOOO ONLY THREE EPISODES LEFT.....

:(((((

WINDLBADE!!!! I hope she’ll be ok

DID it work?? Wait you guys still have two frickin shards left, YOU”RE SO BAD AT THIS

A SHARK????? WTF

HE JUST PICKED HER UP AND DIPPED WTF WHO IS THAT

It’s not Skybyte obviously but he’s a shark too so WHO IS THAT

OHH IS THAT THE HALL OF RECORDS???? 

Wait wtf the Decepticons are attacking?? Oh wait RACK N RUIN DID YOU REALLY TELL THEM THAT

OH NO HE FROZE

WHOA  WHAT”S HAPPENING

WHAT OPTIMUS NO

WHAT”S HAPPENING!!!!! WTF

I WAS GONNA MAKE A BSOD JOKE BUT I TAKE IT ALL BACK OPTIMUS PLEASE BE OK YOU CAN’T DIE IN THIS SERIES

Is this referencing the other time when he glitched oh no....I knew that’d come back to bite us

In other news, I love that we’re learning more about the life and (cyber)biology of Cybertron, I’m so glad we got to have pretty much almost the entire series set on Cybertron

I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THAT!!! THAT’S SO COOL!!! This is the stuff I want to see in Transformers shows!!!

Hasbro could literally make a nature documentary set on Cybertron and I’d be ecstatic. Gimme more details about their world and architecture and city stuff

“Fellow Primes, why have I been summoned?” Oh shoot so the other past primes can just jack OP’s consciousness whenever??? That frickin sucks. I do love the Atlantis vibes I’m ge HOLY FRICK IS THAT MAC

AHHHHHHHH MACCADAM!!!!!!!!!!! GRANDPA!!!!!!! PLEASE GIVE OPTIMUS DAD ADVICE!!!!!! IM SO GLAD WE GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN

Chromia: Bee are you crazy?? Bee: YES! *jumps off the ship*

I love that this weird storm cloud area is basically like an ocean, that’s so cool

OH NO BEE!!!!!!!

Jeez that startled me, the shark sounds just like Bee

“Well you’re doing a scrap job” lmao Chromia please

Oh it’s the Argon Sea, it IS an ocean pft

“An ancient evil” hooo boy

BEE he’s so cute. Wait don’t just jump down a random hole AT LEAST WAIT FOR CHROMIA

CREEPY TENTACLE STUFF AGAIN, JEEZ CYBERVERSE

KICK HIS BUTT CHROMIA

Aw man, not you too Bee

MISTRESS OF FLAME!!!! I get so excited about every IDW reference haha, I love Caminus and I love that they’re letting that still exist

JEEZ THAT”S NOT CREEPY AT ALL

Is this a Titan???? IT IS A TITAN

It’s like a Cthulu titan huh

Chromia: That is THE creepiest thing I’ve ever heard THANK YOU CHROMIA, SAME THOUGHT

Chromia’s just like “This doesn’t even come close to my Top 10 list of BS I’ve had to deal with lately”

More weird smoke, oh great

JEEZ THAT’S A FREAKY TITAN

Me, crying softly: GAY RIGHTS....(and Bee). MAN THE FRIENSHIPS IN THIS SHOW ARE SO GREAT :’)

ALCHEMIST PRIME!!!!!!!!! I FRICKIN KNEW YOU WERE A PRIME

“But this is not about me” I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THOUGH

Wait why is a part of Windblade in Megatron’s Matrix

WHY WOULD THEY ALSO BE IN THE OTHER MATRIX oh they mean alt-universe them

It’s frickin HYSTERICAL that every time Optimus has some ~deep spiritual~ conversation with the past Primes he’s just standing there frozen while the Autobots wait for him to unfreeze like he’s some kind of ancient computer doing updates. Like, that’s legitimately one of the funniest pieces of information canon’s given us so far, thank you for my life Cyberverse writers.

I wonder if Arcee and the other bots ever take selfies with him while he’s frozen like that THERE’S SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR COMEDY HERE

Optimus: *is frozen for a couple hours while talking to old Primes* Autobots: *put on PJs and unroll their sleeping bags so they can have a slumber party while waiting for him*

Heck now I’m just imagining them playing truth or dare or some similar game while waiting for Optimus to wake up. 

I’m sure at some point during their voyage on the Ark, Optimus froze and they all played the “who can do this silly / embarrassing thing in front of Optimus and get away with it before he wakes up” game. Like, Rodimus somersaults down the hall while spouting fire in front of Optimus, Bee does a handstand while singing the alphabet backwards, etc, and whoever’s in front of Optimus when he “wakes up” loses. (It’d be even funnier if Optimus kept pretending to be frozen while they played until someone did something REALLY embarrassing and he unfroze to freak them out. Then again, the Matrix going back into his chest would probably be too much of a giveaway huh)

OH NO I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN THE EUPHORIA OF THIS IDEA I FORGOT THERE’S ONLY TOO EPISODES LEFT NOW....

Episode 25

I love Astrotrain’s design (both in bot-mode and his alt mode) because he just looks like a grumpy evil train and that makes me so happy.

Also RAIN!!! I love rain and this looks so pretty

LMAO ASTROTRAIN YOU’RE SUCH A TURD I had no opinion of him before this show but now I frickin love him

HE PULLED THE CHAIR OUT FROM UNDER HIM

“I HAVE HIS MATRIX” OH NO DID HE STEAL THIS FROM SHATTERED GLASS’ OPTIMUS OH FRICK

Megatron running like that while holding the Matrix in his hands reminds me so vividly of a younger sibling stealing their older sibling’s diary and fleeing at top-speed from said older sibling and that’s hilarious to me. Megatron is so petty

Dang, so that’s how his eye got messed up. Ngl it’s a good look

CYBER COWS!!!!

Wow that wall is so WEAK the Decepticons are so dumb lmao

Oh yeah they have a new furry on their team

Rodimus: Math isn’t my strong-suit.

Arcee: Especially me!  Arcee you are ADORABLE

OH SHOOT MEGATRON CAN TALK TO THE PAST PRIMES TOO...DANG

WINDBLADE!!! MAKE WINDBLADE A PRIME YOU COWARDS

Ok I know I said “Shattered-Glass Optimus” earlier but based on that spoiler some moron on Twitter posted, IT’S PROBABLY TARN...man I wish I hadn’t seen that spoiler but despite that IM STILL EXCITED

Makes you wonder how TARN got the Matrix though (not that I can’t guess 8( )

Oh my gosh I just realized we have the potential to see Windblade kick Tarn’s butt in this series. Cyberverse PLEASE, I’D LOVE TO SEE THAT

Ah so Astrotrain is the new scientist

Ur bugs are probably dead dude

LASERBEAK!!!!

RAVAGE??? Oh no that’s the furry dude MAN I GET SO EXCITED EVERY TIME, I KEEP FORGETTING

As much as I Die for loyal Soundwave, it’s really cool seeing him being his own character and acting on his own in this series and trusting his own judgement / surveillance! It’s so good. Soundwave you’re so smart (and I love that he loves Laserbeak :’) )

*SOBBING* CASE IN POINT...HE PET THE BABY..

OHOHO IT”S *THE* INSECTICONS

Oh shoot the Insecticons are deserting 

“No one can stop him. Not even you” dang son

“He doesn’t want us. He wants you” OH BOY

MY BABY WHIRL!!!! THAT’S MY BOY

SEEKERS!!! I forgot we still had a few who Starscream didn’t frickin kill

NICE JUMP-ATTACK OPTIMUS I love that he cuts the dude’s weapon in half meanwhile Grimlock just frickin eats the guy lmao. So much for Optimus’ mercy

FRICK FRICK FRICK IT IS TARN

OK TARN OBJECTIVELY SUCKS BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ACTUALLY DO LOVE HIM BECAUSE HOLY FRICK IS HE A DANGEROUS CHARACTER AND THERE’S SO MUCH TO PLAY WITH THERE, I CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM AND HOW THEY USE HIM FOR THE STORY AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dead End: Yeah, I see your point Lmao I love this guy

Everyone’s gonna frickin die in this series

OH NO WHIRL oh wait yeah he and Dead End know each other, Whirl’s fine

SOUNDWAVE CAN YOU AND SHADOW STRIKER CHILL FOR 2 SECONDS

I love Skybyte’s voice

WOW MEGATRON, YOU”RE ONLY PROTECTING HALF THE PLANET, JEEZ

OH SHOOT

OH SHOOT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh so that’s why they had a wall, Megatron you turd

WHIRL NO!!!!!!! oh he’s fine thank goodness

Did Megatron get taller??? He looks taller than Optimus now

Just use Optimus’ matrix you big baby

“It’s time I called in that debt you owe me. Now it’s time for you to save me” I LEGITIMATELY SHRIEKED OUT LOUD, AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

THERE HE IS, THERE HE IS THERE HE IS!!!!!!!

SCREW PAST ME’S OPINION, TARN IS FRICKIN COOL AS HELL

OH SHOOT THERE’S A TON OF HIM WTF

WHERE’S THAT FRICKIN “THERE IT IS, THERE IT IS, THERE!!! IT!!! IS!!!” MEME BECAUSE THAT’S BEEN ME THIS ENTIRE EPISODE HOLY HECK

Episode 26

MORE PRIME NAMES!!! A) that’s very pretty B) LEGIT THOUGH IF WINDBLADE’S THE ONE WHO KICKS TARN’S BUTT I’LL GO APE

OH FRICK IF OPTIMUS IS THERE THEN TARN REALLY DID KILL HIM or it means he beefed it in that universe, as he usually does

“I wish I’d gotten to know you better” 8((((((

What happened to Alt!Universe Optimus!!!!!!! How did you die!!!

Windblade: Optimus, you’re speaking in riddles... Optimus: I always do, it comes with the job of Prime. Windblade: Oh right

“A perfect Decepticon race” HOO BOYZY.....

“All because I spared your life” MAN THAT HURTS

At least they aren’t attacking them right now?

HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY RESOLVE THIS SERIES IN 10 MINUTES

ASTROTRAIN YOU COWARD not that I blame him, every bot for themself I guess

OH NO THE HURT PUPPY WHINE MAKES ME SO SAD

HELL YEAH SOUNDWAVE SAVE MY BABY BEE

I TAKE IT BACK TARN IS CANCELED, HE HIT SOUNDWAVE

*AND* HE GRABBED CHROMIA, YOU”RE CANCELED, ALL THESE CLONES ARE CANCELED

SOUNDWAVE IS THE ONLY VALID DECEPTICON

Optimus: Can’t keep-- Megatron: WE MUST! Me: *SOBS*

OPTIMUS AND MEGATRON BACK-TO-BACK FIGHTING AHHHHHHHHHH, IT”S THE LITTLE-THINGS

Definitely not the right time for this joke but: AU where instead of saying “Powers of Cybertron, unite!” they say “GAY RIGHTS” to activate their Matrix powers

Frick what if they kill MEGATRON in this series

HECK YEAH EVERYONE’S GETTING AN UPGRADE

Megatron: We must join our Matrixes together! Optimus: Now REALLY isn’t the best time for a marriage proposal Megatron: What Optimus: What

Thank you for telling Optimus to get down for once instead of just blasting him AND the Tarn-copies, Megatron

OH FRICK IT IS ALT-UNIVERSE MEGATRON NOT TARN WHO’S THE BIG BAD

I LEGIT STOPPED BREATHING DURING THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE AHHHH

THIS IS INFINITELY BETTER (AND WORSE) THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THAT MEANS ALT!UNIVERSE MEGATRON DID KILL OPTIMUS...MEANWHILE OUR UNIVERSE’S MEGATRON SPARED OPTIMUS...MAN THAT HURTS ME SO BAD

MEGATRON NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OPTIMUS SAVE HIM SAVE HIM PLEASE SOMEHOW SAVE HIM!!!!!

OPTIMUS LITERALLY FRICKIN RAN ACROSS THE ROOM TO CATCH HIM, MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS DRAMA

NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN”T DO THIS TO ME CYBERVERSE

“Prime...one shall stand...one shall....” THIS IS THE SADDEST FRICKIN THING THAT”S HAPPENED IM LEGIT GONNA CRY, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Hold on...my friend...” IM GONNA BAWL MY EYES OUT OPTIMUS

I legit had to take a moment to get up and do a lap around my room while processing what happened LIKE OK I KNOW THEY PROBABLY (???) WON’T PERMA-KILL MEGATRON BUT FRICK DUDE THAT WAS SO EMOTIONAL

MEGAOP RIGHTS....BUT AT WHAT COST

What’s fricking me up rn (granted, several things are fricking me up right now) is that this universe’s Megatron knew he could’ve achieved his goals if he’d just killed Optimus. He said so himself; he could’ve had it all but he failed “all because I spared your [Optimus’] life”. Whatever he saw in that other universe convinced him that killing Optimus just wasn’t worth it (or perhaps, deep deep DEEP down, he really doesn’t want to kill his old friend).

I’m rewatching that last minute and this feels like a frickin fanfiction. I’m Living but also Dying

I KNOW THIS IS A VERY TENSE SCENE BUT MEGATRON’S “I won’t pay for anything!” MADE ME LAUGH

SOUNDWAVE STANDING BETWEEN SHADOW-STRIKER AND MEGATRON!!!!!!!!! STANDING UP TO MEGATRON!!!! SOBS I LOVE SOUNDWAVE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO PLEASE BE CAREFUL MY SWEET BOY!!!!! IF YOU GET HURT ILL NEVER BE OVER IT

Two reasons he could’ve done that: to keep Shadow Striker from getting super pissed off and lashing out at this enemy who’s way above their level, or because the “jacked up Frankenstein experiment” thing is a sore subject for her and Soundwave recognizes that (and frankly I’m leaning toward option B because SOBS....I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP)

GOTH FRIENDS!!!

OH OK THANK GOODNESS, MEGATRON ISN’T DEAD DEAD YET

Dang so Megatron did kill Optimus

OH NO WE’RE GETTING A FLASHBACK

FRICK THAT”S SO GRUESOME, HE JUST RIPPED OPTIMUS’ CHEST OPEN

YOU ALREADY KNOW THE MOST PERFECT DECEPTICON, HIS NAME IS SOUNDWAVE!!! YOU JUST DON’T APPRECIATE HIM YOU BIG BULLY

Oh shoot so the Quints came to that world too

DANG HE JUST WRECKED THEIR SHIP HUH....

I’m loving this throwback to the IDW design

WOW Y’ALL JUST IMMEDIATELY WENT “SURE WE’RE ONBOARD” (I mean, good way to stay alive but C’MON GUYS....)

“I have no need for any of you” WHOOPS SO MUCH FOR THAT should’ve seen that coming

THIS SUCKS SO BAD

NONONONO!!!! MEGATRON!!!!

HECK NOW HE HAS THE MATRIX

wow you guys really just let Megatron fall to the floor COME ON OPTIMUS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SMOOTH MOVES

NICE ONE BEE!!!!!!

YEAH WERE ARE ARCEE AND HOT ROD

FRICK YEAH WHIRL, MESS HIM UP!!!!!!!!!

YEAH SHADOW STRIKER!!!!!!

RATCHET PUNCHING TARN HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

FRICK HE CAN JUST MATERIALIZE LIKE THAT TOO

WELL THAT DIDN’T LAST LONG

BEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“And now you will pay the price...for being a hero” DANG THAT”S A COOL LINE BUT DON’T HURT MY BOY

FRICK HIM UP OPTIMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WINDBLADE NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO SAVE EVERYONE

YEAHHHH WINDBLADE!!!!!!!

Yeah don’t turn your back on the body please

YO Astrotrain came back

ASTROTRAIN THAT SOUNDS SO CREEPY AND ALSO THAT’S SUCH A BAD IDEA, JUST KILL HIM

I know this is a kid’s show but PLEASE DO SOMETHING TO MAKE SURE HE WON’T POP BACK UP IN A FEW YEARS WITH ANOTHER ARMY

IM GLAD WINDBLADE IS BACK AND IM LOVING THE HUG BUT DID MEGATRON LEGIT FRICKIN DIE????

WHAT!!! WHAT THAT CAN’T BE IT!?!?!? HOW COULD YOU END IT LIKE THAT NO!!!!!!! THAT WAS SO ABRUPT nO!!!!!!!!!! 

The last few episodes were such an adrenaline rush I CAN”T BELIEVE WE CAME DOWN FROM THAT HIGH SO QUICKLY....IS MEGATRON ALIVE??? KICKSTARTER TO FUND ONE MORE EPISODE???? SPARE ANOTHER EPISODE FOR A POOR FAN???

MAN I wish we could’ve stayed in the universe of this show for a little longer but dang!!! That was really really good!!! I’m so grateful we got to have such a wonderful series like Cyberverse! :’) Thank you to everyone who worked on this incredible show!!!

Man now I gotta wait for WfC for new Transformers content....at least I can look through the tag w/out getting spoiled now

A few more thoughts now that I’ve re-read my liveblog:

If Megatron could hop into the Matrix of Leadership he possessed, I wonder if he ever had a chance to talk to that universe’s Optimus Prime... :( based on what he said, probably not, but that makes me so sad!!!! Did they ever get the chance to work things out!!! IS MEGATRON ALIVE OR NOT.....

[tetsuyaku]

Hey do you have any kuroyaku fic recs? I just caught up on the manga n im hunger for some good food

alriiight we’re trying to answer this for the third time ashgdasd here we go!!

We Lingered On Bridges by aritzen (Gen), 3k, FAKE DATING!!!! 

Night Brighter Than the Day by mozaikmage (Gen), 2k, christmas date!! ft. daimika :’) based on this art

Change My Perspective by ryekamasaki (Gen), 600, absolutely adorable with a side of Daishou being Daishou

A Map of Stars by acidulication (Gen), 1k, post high school, this killed me dead ok it hit all my weak spots, yaku has freckles, kuroo’s gay and there’s icarus and the sun refs *chef kiss* (also!! illustrated) 

Store Bought by villager_bxx (Gen), 3k, domestic life!!! fluff ft. disasters in the kitchen (also has illustrations!!)

Curiosity Killed the Cat (And Satisfaction Brought It Back) by SecretMaker (T), 3k, mutual pining,, yaku has a huge crush but he can handle it (he really can’t)

Eyes On Me Eyes On You by dadkage (T), 3k, good quality pining and love confessions!! it’s so so good!

5 Things About You by theauthorish (T), 8k, “It’s when he reaches for the fridge to pull out last night’s leftovers for breakfast that he sees it: a note stuck to the door of the freezer with one of their few magnets.It reads, 5 Things Kuroo Tetsurou Knows about Yaku Morisuke.” this one,,,is so good okay,,, they,, they’re in looooove

Words Unsaid by nylie (Gen), 1k, post graduation, Kuroo, Yaku and Kai not saying good bye

Little Bits And Pieces of This World by noyabeans (Gen), 8k, kuroyaku’s relationship over 7 years :’) that peak enemies to friends to lovers content

Midnight Railway by aritzen (T), 4k, university fic!  “Yaku moves to Kyoto for university, and Kuroo is too chicken to follow - until he finally does.”

Study Session by Icie (Gen), 1k, basically they study together and it’s super soft and so good

Brain Robbers From Outer Space by downmoon (T), 1k, university fic! “Yaku worries, and Tetsurou wonders if they’ll ever have A Moment“

AUS:

Soulmate Au:

Master of My Fate by sapphire_eyes27 (T), 14k, soulmate identifying marks!!! enemies to friends to lovers!!! i think this is genuinely the best, the absolute best soulmate au i’ve ready ever, in any fandom (i may be a little over dramatic but it’s at least the best one i’ve read in a long time) its just !!!!!!!! aaaaaa i lose my mind thinking about it tbh it’s so nice *cries* there’s fluff, there’s angst, there’s.. bed sharing, it has it all tbh

Apocalypse Au:

Gonna Help You Swim by boxofwonder (M), 4k (nearly 5k), major character death (it’s not kuroo or yaku though). this one!! is so good okay, it has that good good quality nekoma friendship content and yeah it’s bittersweet and made me cry (like zombie aus tend to) but it’s so so worth it i loved every second

Actions Are Louder Than Words by SapphyreLily (M), 3k, graphic depictions of violence. this one is so so good, its just kuroyaku trying to keep each other alive in a post apocalyptic world and with deaf yaku!!

Rage, Feral and Wild by sweet westerlies (T), 800, minor injury. basically Yaku stitches Kuroo up and calls him an idiot it’s very them :’)

Other Aus:

Counterbalance by qingting (T), 5k, avatar au!! ft. Kuroo, Yaku and Kai as pro benders!! (also minor appearances. bokuto, akaashi, konoha and our amazing third year managers bless). This one had me smiling all the way through, even if you haven’t watch atla/lok please read this, it’s so so good, like, the concept!! the dynamic!! its.. *chef kiss*

Honour, Duty by noyabeans (Gen), 1k, medival au! lord kuroo and his loyal knight yaku :’)

Watch Your Heel Crush, crushed, Uh-Oh by mozaikmage (T), 2k, art student yaku and life drawing model kuroo, ft. suga and yaku friendship :’)

edit: I FORGOT THIS ONE

Getting Better, Together by jellyryans (Gen), 3k, flower shop/tattoo artist au!! super cute valentines day fic!!!

[fisherfurbearer]

fuck sam walmarts

and fuck management

I’ve had it. Left the store in tears tonight.

as some peoople probably/hopefully know. walmart closes at 6 pm on christmas eve. no one actually gets to leave at 6 becuase of shitty last minute customers. but it is what it is.

this. is really personal but im honestly SO close to just. killing myself? so who cares

basically. had a really really bad last few days. spent a lovely time with family (jessies family, his oma and opa and sister and parents and it was just a great time. theyre more family to me than most of my blood family) but it did make me Sad in Deep ways as we dont know if this is going to be our last christmas with his oma who isnt doing so good. and it just twisted me up a little but was othewrsiwse a great day. but then sunday i just...had a huge breakdown in the morning and decided to use my accomodation (i get 2 excused absenses a month) to cool down and gte myself together. slept a lot. woke up adn got a lot done, felt great, then i CRASHED really really bad, got really angry, lashed otu, took like...8-10 sleeping pills...theyre horrific things and im never doing that again...had to sleep for two days after that...felt horrifically sick, in pain, just awful. had repeating nightmares over and over. which has also been wearing me down recently. wasnt able to work monday either because i still couldnt stand and between the pills and the depression/anxiety and really just. felt like the world was ending.

decided sometime last night id just...try my best to make it in today, work my shift (really long 9-6, knowing i wouldnt leave on time nad htisis my first time working in 5 days now...which is rough...) and if i can get through this, i have another couple days off in a row after that (schedules fault, not mine...do feel awful i missed 3 days before that though...) and we can just. get back on track

today i DID go to work, jessie drove me in

i worked. a long time. im supposed to get a break every 2 hours and a 1 hour lunch

i gott my first break on timeish.

then i got my lunch 6 hours after i got in. at which time i got “locked out” for not taking my lunch and coudlnt do anything on the registers. i was supposed to get it 4 hours in. its christmas eve and excruciating and im still in pain and tired from my previous days breakdowns, but otherwise?? i did really good. i didnt mind at all that my lunch was so late. i was a little miffed, but its ok. i dont care, so long as i get it eventually. anyway they FINALLY noticed i was locked out and got me coverage and i ended my lunch at 4. things continued ok. worked on self checkout, met a lot of regulars i really like, prevented $200 of theft (HAHA WOW that was really really funny i love preventing petty theft. i prevent so much theft every week its my pride and joy) just did okay. then they had us close self checkout that took a little while. then at 5:00-5:10 or so i went to my Manager/Supervisor/”““People LEad” as walmart is now trying to call them, lets call her manager Y, and i told her i still need my break and will i get it before i leave. she said go to register 4. i asked again hey will i get my break though and she said yeah and i thought to mysel HAHA thats not going to happen but ok

really stupid that after bieng locked out the first time she couldnt give me my break before i openned a register with a line i cant get rid of

anywayy i did ok otherwise for a while

but at 5:25 or so i reminded a CSM “hey i need my break still can i get that?” and she just ssaid yeah well try to get someone and then more time passed so much time. i put through an ask on the register “assistance needed”. waited another 10 minutes. “assistance needed” again. starting to get anxious. its past 5:40. the line is so long. theres so MUCH NOISE. Its SO LOUD. the intercom keeps going off, no one is responding to me, i dont have a mat to stand on so my knees HURT,, im not doing okk

i switch my light to flashing/need assistance and start looking for someone to ask for help. its 5:45, i need my break NOW, i DESERVE IT for workng this long ass shift and they already missed several of my last breaks a week ago AND got me locked out today and im STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS PELASE I JUST WANT MY BREAK SO BAD

nnthgen a csm is passing by im about to lose it, so i tell her CSM J, please i really need my break now PLEASE and im starting to ccry and i try to tell her whats going on but she shushes me and goes and gets sometone

im full on tears at this point, im so strreesed out,,

manager Y and some other snooty manager come over andd. ffkcing. ask me whats wrong. im crying and i try to explain im really really stressed out, i havent had my last break, ive been trying to get someone for so long now, i just really need to leave im so sorry

and theyy just. fckkng

ffcking manager Y jjst ssays ok “ill give you your break” and “this is your last break” and i ssaid?? yeah i knoww?? andd she saidd “next time youre like this, just dont come in”

i quote that completeltyyy....i really lost it then...i cried som muchh

this isnt the first itme she said something like this to meee...

she asked me “why are you CRYING” When i had an anxiety attacki n the store once, when ic cloked in and couldnt get myself together,, she didnt give me time to calm down, she didnt listen as to why, she just said “why are you crying. this is a BUSINESS. you cant be CRYING Here.” and i just said ok ill go home bye and leftt

andd when i tried to get my availability changed from 7-9 to 7-6/7-7 because the random late shifts with 7 am shifts was messing me up really really bad and my doctor thinks i need to hcange it too, she just said “i cant do that. thisi sa BUSINESS.” and she wouldnt listen when i said i might have to quit because of this, this is for my health, im literally scheduled 7-2 every sunday in december, busiest day of the busiest month and you cant even chop TWO HOURS off my weekend availability????

andd i jjst

ive HAD IT with her

ive had ittt

im so ashamed and angry and anxious and i still havent stopped cryingg. she called me over to her again as i was leaving and she blamed me for it. she ssaid a customer was upset that i “Screamed” (ues i raised my voice a little but i wasnt screaming??? also the two customers i was attending to when this was going on and i cried were VERY KIND nad jjst said i was doing a good job and thanked me for being there) and called a manager over (but...csm J got them?? not a customer...??) and i cant be acitng like this, i cant do customer service when im stressed,, and d i should just STAY HOME If im going to be like that

then shee fufkcing toold me i DID IT WRONG, that i “shouldve called someone over” I TOLD HER I DID!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAIL INTO MY HEAD IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE REGISTER SO I DIDNT, I DID EVERYTHING ELSE I COULD THOUGH!!! I REQUESTED HELP TWICE!! I TURNED MY LIGHT TO FLASHING!!! I TRIED TO CATCH A MANAGER WALKING BY TO HELP ME!!! N OONE LISTENED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, I DID EVERYHTING I COULD!! yet she seriously told me to my face that “you didnt call anyone”, “you couldve turned your light to flashing” WHICH I DID and sshee jjst said that i made customers uncomfortable and i cant work like thatt and just stay hhome

ii stayed home sunday because i was having a mjor mental emergencyy.

i came in today because i was feeling better and i took it eaasy and ended up doing a wonderful job and mad eso many people smilea nd fixed so many problems that wouldve otherwise upset a lot of folks and i met my regulars and made old folks smile andd i prevented a lot of theft that no one else wouldve caughtt and i jjstt broke down after 9 hours and not getting a last break and all the chaos of register (WHICH BY THE WAY THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE REGISTER!!! I THRIVE ON SLE FCHECOUT!!! THATS MY JOB TITLE!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!! THEY KNOW THISS!!!!) and HER AVOIDING GIVING ME MY FUCKING BREAK and NOT RESPECTING MY FFUCKING METNAL DISABILITIES LJNASDKAJHDBASJSDNAJSNDKANSD

I JJST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOO

i really want to die and i really want to never go back but i really loved my job i loved helpting people ii jjst hate her so muchhh and i feel GENUINE DREAD/SEVERE ANXIETY jjst SEEING her nnow

she doesnt CARE about anyone but herself shes a horrible peson i cant tell the store manager though cause she wont care either and manager Y has more clout than me so shell just twist my words and make me out as the bad guy as hte “CRAZY ONE” who cries and gets stressed (FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS AFTER BEING PUSHED OVER THE EDGE) even tthough i work SO FFRIKCING HARD and do SUCH A GOOD JOB and asdjanjsdhajshdas

i d ont know what to doo

i cant work another job because no where else pays as much or will let me do self checkout only, because being a cashier stresses me so muchh

ii...really wanntted to grow stuff and make preserves and sell bee products and work with folks raising heritage sheep and make more fiber art andd open a little stall at a local market and sell all that,, and offer more online and do customs andd stuff

i know i could mkae money that wa ybut i ccantt start it so sudenly and im too Broken to do it seriouslyy and i dont even want to HAVE to quit because of ONE PERSON But shes done this so many times now and this is the nfinfal streaww

i jjst dont know what to doo...

i cantt stop cryingg

i cant even enjoy christmas nnow. wanted to see my stepdad and give him his presernt and maybe be ok.

last christmas we had to move because our house was condemned after a fire. now im going to have to lose my job because of a horrible manager who doenst respect my metnal health or anything about me reallyy. and unfortunately im such a failure that i cant. do anything else and if i lose this job ill lse my animla sand i wotnt be able to do anyhtingg andd im jjust fucking trash

goddammit i dont know what to do. i really dont. hhahaaa. i just really want to end it. ive come so far and none of it fucking matters because of thiss fucking horrible manager.

[nenastrology]

kuwameshi and kurahi for the ship ask! ✨

ok really love both of them so like lets go with each one by one here

kuwameshi is so fun like idk it really has it all like its both just extremely funny they goof off and also its like extremely sad ;w; like theyre very rowdy and genuinely just play off each other in such a fun genuine way but like also it can flip a switch and theyre out here trying to die for each other like the full spectrum of emotions expressed in shounen right there and let me tell you i have an entire like conspiracy wall in my head explaining all the parallels of like kuwabara and keiko and how clearly this is the text telling us that yusuke is in fact canonly bi but we dont need to get into this but like the tender ghost dream kiss being just the beginning and it only goes up from there its funny they have like all the fun energy of josuke and okuyasu from jojo but have togashis better character writing and like the emotional intensity of the story of yyh i really do like to think that theyve got an apartment together and are like in their 30s and grumpy and have 3 cats you know the tenderness of it all ;w;

ok i feel like im doing a better job for ships i find funny rather than ones im emotionally affected by so i think i have more direction for kurahi like genuinely love their entire dynamic is like hieis like ugh all you stupid humans suck you are nothing like KURAMA who is amazing he helped me get cereal off the top shelf he explained to me how money works see im wealthy now look at my vast array of human wealth but hes just got a few coins and like kurama just knows how to read hiei and is like oh dont mind him he thinks you guys are really cool he just wont admit it like theyre already married but have the absolutely wild dynamic of kurama is larping a human prep whos gonna be a business major and hiei is like refusing to engage with the human world and keeps getting put on like ghost and alien hunters online shows for being found looking like a gremlin eating out of the trash can in a back alley because he doesnt want to go back and ask kuramas mom for more apple slices just yet and then they go get involved in demon world politics again but are gaming the system because they are both married and dont wanna actually go to war with each other and also like beyond the comedy potential kurama really sees through a lot of hieis bullshit and hiei absolutely gets some of kuramas more complicated morality and like aspects of being a demon his human friends dont really get though i dont think hiei gets why kurama wants to be on honor roll so bad its also hilarious cuz like they have achieved this dynamic when theyre both like hundreds of years old and have only known each other for like 3 years but hiei was like wow huge fan of your work being a master thief thats why i got into demon crimes myself... but its unfortunate and kinda funny that like either if u pick anime or manga one of them has to say no homo in the end like in the anime kuramas like sorry hiei im straight.... and in the manga hieis like dude bye i prefer milfs so you know win some you lose some...

[savedbystyle]

come home to me (s.r)

pairing: steve rogers x stark!reader // tony stark x daughter!reader

summary: the time heist takes place and you nat and clint go to vormir but one of you don’t come back

a/n: they do have a slight age gap of five years, but thats it. im writing this on my ipad because my tumblr web is broken:) tony is the readers dad, i dont specifiy if theyre adopted or not :)

warnings: angst // endgame spoilers

“Alright, we have a plan. Six stones, three teams, one shot.” 

You all walk to the machine, preparing to give it your all and get back what you lost.

“Five years ago we lost. We lost friends, we lost family, we lost a part of ourselves. Today we have a chance to take it all back. Know your teams, know your missions. Get the stones, get them back.” 

You all stand in a circle with your right hands in the middle, determined to get your other halves back. 

“We each have one round trip, no mistakes-no do overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know, that doesnt mean we should know what to expect. Careful, look out for each other. This us the fight of our lives, and were gonna win. Whatever it takes. Good luck.” 

Your dad (Tony Stark), Steve Rogers, and Scott Land were going to New York back in 2012 to get the mind and space stone. Thor and Rocket go to Asgard back in 2013 to get the reality stone. Bruce (hulk) was also going to New York in 2012 but he was going to the time sanctum to get the mind stone, and youre going with Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Rhodey, and Nebula to get the power and soul stone while the last two get the power stone on Morag while you three fly to Vormir for the soul stone. 

“Come back to me, ok y/n?” Steve said with a smile

“Of course Steve, forever and always.”

You turn to him and kiss him before you all have to go.

“Stay safe dad” 

“I always do sweetheart” Your dad returned with a smile. 

Bruce walked over and powered on the machine. “Alright, powering in five, four, three, two, and-it’s show time” 

You all go towards where you’re supposed to, and soon you’re on Morag, while you three are going to Vormir. 

“Take care mini-stark. You know me and your father AND Steve will never forgive our selves if anything happens to u”

“I know Uncle Rhodey, I promise I will be safe” You return with a smile

“See you soon Neb”

You’ve grown a liking to her after she came back with your dad.

“See you y/n. Please be safe”

You saw a hint of sadness in her eyes as she said bye to the three of you heading to Vormir, but brushed it off thinking that it was because her sister was gone and she was about to fight her father.

“Of course” You smiles at her before boarding the jet.

“You ready stark?” Cling asks with a mischievous glint in his eyes

“Always, Barton. You Nat?” You reply with a smirk

“I think we all know the answer to that question”

Clint starts the engine and soon you’re flying at incredible speeds. You all laugh on the way there, thinking about how a couple years ago you were fighting simple aliens on earth to having to gather stones.

“This is a long way from Budapest” Clint says to Nat

“You haven’t told me about Budapest, we got a couple to kill, might as well Romanoff” You reply with a smirk, awaiting the story which you’ve heard so much about from Nat and Clint

After a while and a whole story about Budapest, you were feeling more ready about this. You get off the ship and look around until you see a pathway. Once you climb to the top you see a figure, a red figure.

“Where’s the soul stone?” You mutter to Clint

“I don’t know but let’s keep going forward.”

A man came out from behind the shadows dressed in all redone had a skull for a face.

“Ahh, if it isn’t Natasha daughter of Ivan, Clint son of Edith, And Y/n daughter of Stark”

“How do you know who we are?” You ask the figure

“I know everyone who steps foot on Vormir, wanting to get the soul stone. Some go empty handed, but I can see today that will not be the problem.”

“So where’s the soul stone?” Nat asks the figure

“It’s right here. But there’s a trick to getting the stone.”

“And that is?”

“A soul for a soul. You must lose what you love the most. Whoever chooses to sacrifice themself with go ahread and jump. No tricks. Once you get the stone, you may leave”

You all look at the ground then at each other, each of you knowing what needs to be done. The figure goes away as you all sit on the rocks overlooking the cliff which one of you shall not return from, making the three now two.

“I think we know what needs to happen as much as we dread it.” Nat says with her hands on her mouth

You have made up your mind, knowing you weren’t going to let anyone else die on your watch.

“I think we all do, but i’m suspecting that we all have different ideas of who it should be” Clint says laughing

“Yeah, I do.” You say as a tear tracks down your cheek “I love you both. Clint, you have a family to go back to. They need you. Nat, take care of Steve for me won’t you?” You say while walking closer to the edge

“Y/n don’t do this” Clint says standing up when all of a sudden Nat starts running to the edge, but you trip her just in time having her on the edge and you hanging.

“Y/N NO” Nat and Clint yell at you as you look at them holding Nats hand, one hand away from the end.

“Tell my dad, Morgan, and Pepper that I love them. Tell Steve that he’s my world and that he should move on. Tell the rest of the team that it’s not their fault and that I’ll miss them all dearly.” Youre sobbing as you’re loosening your grip on Nats hand.

“I love you Y/n” Nat whispers as tears also stream down her face.

You smile up at Nat and Clint and whisper “It’s ok, you can let go of me”

Nat slowly lets go of your hand, and soon you’re falling and hit the ground and up above they’re crying staring at your lifeless body as crimson blood pools around you. They’re left staring at the young girl who sacrificed herself for the team to win, but left everything she loved behind during the process.

After they get the stone they return to the Avengers compound in 2023, tears still streaming down their face as they stare in shock.

“Got all the stones?”

Everyone nods when Tony breaks the excitement among the room

“Where’s y/n?” He whispers, denying the possibility that the same thing happened to his daughter as it happened to Thanos’s daughter. “Tell me it’s not true Nat,”

Nat and Clint look up at Tony with tear stains and new ones forming and nod.

“What do you mean, what happened to y/n? Someone tell me what’s going on!” Steve shouted

Everyone could tell from the look on Steve’s face that he couldn’t believe it. An hour ago he saw you, and you both were smiling promising each other that you’ll come home but now his worst fear is becoming a reality and that’s living without you.

“We went to Vormir, and we got the stone but to get the stone it was a soul for a soul.” Clint says, with his voice shaking.

Tony leaves tears streaming down his face as he heads outside. Everyone follows him, if not crying sorrowful.

“I- What did she say?” Steve asks voice cracking as he digests the fact that the love of his life is gone. His heart feels heavy and his mind is clouded and now he can’t see or breathe properly.

“She... She said that she loved you both very much and that she wanted us all to move on, especially you Steve. She wanted you to move on from her and find someone who makes you feel the same way as she did. Tony, she,” Nats words get caught in her throat as she holds back another sob

“She wanted you and Pepper to take care and give Morgan the love you gave her. She also told us that it’s not our fault and that we should all move on from this and win”

It was dead silent as everyone now had tears down their face mourning the loss of their very own. They lost an avenger, a daughter, a girlfriend, and they lost family, but they knew that now was not the time to mourn your loss, and they also knew that you wouldn’t want that.

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Tony says turning around. “We’ll win this for y/n” They all head inside more determined than ever to beat Thanos.

“Whatever it takes.” Steve said, knowing that if they don’t bring them back that your death has no meaning.

Everyone went inside, besides Tony and Steve who sat outside and looked over the lake.

“I wish I got to say bye to my daughter one last time. I know that she died with a cause but god, id do anything to take her place. She deserves a life and a family and that’s all she wanted, she only wanted to be with you Steve.” Tony said trying not to breakdown knowing that in a matter of minutes they’ll bring back the taken.

“God, i’d redo everything and i’d do anything to trade with her and it hurts knowing that she’ll never come back to me. I’ll never see her laugh, i’ll never see the ways her eyes crinkle and her y/e/c eyes shine when she genuinely laughs at something. She promised she’d come back to me.”

Tony wiped away his tears and turned to Steve and told him

“Promises are meant to be broken Capsicle, you know that better than anyone. She was doing her job and as much as it hurts it’s part of the hero gig. Everything comes to an end and that includes us. So promise me that once we’re done you’ll help me plan her funeral, as a farewell to her and a thank you for sacrificing herself for us”

“Of course Tony. I love her and that will never change, dead or alive. But for now, let’s head inside and beat this son of a bitch”

Steve went inside feeling different, yet better. He went inside knowing that wherever you were, you were watching him and smiling down at them and he knew that deep inside, you did come back to him. And he smiled

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 11 - “i am the balrog elder gay” - Kait

i am the balrog elder gay 

Losing Chloe BROKE ME. listning to Bye Bye mariah carey and crying!!! this is for the people who just lost somebody... SHOOT. I wanted her to blurt out more of her votes in tribe chats. RIP. a fallen Goddess...

SWEET BABY JESUS I GET A SECOND LIFE IN THIS GAME!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! OMG I LOVE THE LAGOON RN! BUT HOPEFULLY I CAN MAKE IT TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN RETURN BECAUSE I HAVE A FEW PEOPLE TO STRIKE BACK AT.

I’m so dumb, completely missed the voting deadline, in my defense i was teaching, but still. Never again, its merge (maybe) and im not gonna jeopardise my game like that.

I'm glad we merged but two people are returning to the game? This has been the most cracked game I have ever played.

Renee and Chips have a chance to return. Between the both I hope Renee comes back. She was an ally for me and most probably work together again.

Go rennee!

---

boo chips

MERGEMERGEMERGEMERGE!!!! glad my zodiac sign is known for being loyal cause I sure ain’t. 

This challenge is always weird but i think if people tell me the truth i may have cancelled out some of my stuff im getting. M&M&M are good standings hopefully. I also trust kait thomas and timmy. Hopefully i can make itndeep in the game.

---

This challenge was a total meh i guess this works. Hopefully i win immunity. If not hopefully im not a target. My relationship with Madison may be rocky right now cuz i blindsided her tribe friend in another game. So im kinda nervous. Hopefully she doesnt pass it her vengence here and tries to take me out.  Im slightly worried a but for this tc.

This merge is a little different from my norm game, I usually have 2-4 alliance chats going but I don't have a single one so far this game.  All my deals have been side deals so far, I do not know if that is a good or bad thing as of this moment in time.  Corey did fill me in that there was an alliance being formed that included him, at least it's indicative of him wanting "The Bull and the Lion" to continue to work. I am also way to mentally drained to give a damn, I just needed to make a confessional to not strike. I worked for 14 hours today but I made 325 dollars and now only owe 4k on my student loans.  Thassss a win in my book even if I get voted out, I'm just gonna drink some beer, hold Jenifer and go to bed.  Good night Moon.

THANK GOD I WON IMMUNITY. You have no idea how good it feels to not have to stress out too much this round. Considering there are 14 of us, really anything could happen, but it's great to know that I will make it through at least one more round. The only key here is just making sure that I stay on the right side of the numbers. The line will most likely be drawn in the sand, so it's important that I stay on the right side of it. So far, I think the people that trust me the most are Ian, Corey, and Matt. I talk to them the most out of everyone, and I do trust them all to an extent, Corey and Ian the most. I would love to find a way to get all three of them on the same page, but I know that will be a heard feat. Next in line would probably be Maynor, Madison, and Kait. I talk to these three a good amount, but for some reason I am having a hard time putting my full faith into them. I talk to Owen a good amount too, but he is a MAJOR threat, and someone that I do not want to be in the game for too much longer if I'm going to have a chance to win. For this round, in an ideal world, Thomas would go home. But that seems too easy. I am hoping someone starts throwing names around, but if not, I guess it will have to be me.

WHY DOES MATT HATE ME SO MUCH?!?!  I genuinely wanted to work with him after first impressions, I bet he was the one who voted Taurus now.  My idol now has a name attached to it, so thanks for that Matt.  In a way, I guess you did end up working with me in some fashion.  Ideally this round goes down with a clear majority on Stephan and Corey can get his save a vote activated and I play the slow burn on good ole Matteo, I wanted to butt heads with Owen at merge, but Owen has been a delight while Matteo has been nothing but a thorn in my side.  

Phew child this merge! 14 people is so so so many and I did in fact vote out Adrian and Chloe, both people who I’ve worked with. I’m left in a really interesting spot because of the warzones it’s still hard to see who has a pattern of voting together. I feel that I’ve positioned myself to be in a lot of threesomes, and hopefully nobody really catches on to that? I know Kait is my number one currently and I have trust with Madison and Devon and Corey. But I’m also fully aware that everyone is a huge threat, and I have to downplay myself as one as well. Hopefully a stepehen vote will provide me with good positioning, as we’re removing someone I personally can’t reallt work with, and lessening the numbers. I also wanna really work with chips but I’m sure everyone was chomping at that bit! Who doesn’t want a bite of chips!

I wish I could put an image in this form bc the joke I’m about to make is so funny Anyways lol I told Kait about the idol I felt like I had to or else I’d break her trust if I ever used it. But THEN LOL SHE TOLD ME THAT matt also has one LMAO THAY HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT!!!! So that meme I linked above is literally me and matt with our idols Here’s my prob tho I like l.... I have to tell matt bc he knows I guess the coordinate. So I guess that’s a thing that’ll happen

Finally have an alliance chat with Kait and Owen...it’s been so many rounds in the making tbh, it just needed to actually be made. I feel safer having that as well as us going to make one with Matt and Maynor as well, making sure that Matt is okay with it...Maynor already seems to be on board. The only name that’s been going around is Stephen so that kind of sucks because I wanted to work with him, but he isn’t around enough to try and rock the boat for in this game unfortunately. 

I found a hidden immunity idol which is awesome! Also, everyone has been silent this round after we decided on Stephen so that’s a bit suspicious 

This is a really hard round because I really like everyone. If any good came from it, it's that I solidified myself into a strong alliance that should be able to keep me safe for at least a few rounds. Corey did not seem to bite on my idea to vote out Owen. Matt says he is most threatened by Ian and Timmy. And everyone just seems to want to vote Stephen. I think this round will be pretty easy, but from this point on it just gets harder. I assume that Chips is in a bad spot and most likely will go next. But at final 12, it's going to be a doozy to see who can stay on top of the vote.

So thisrounf there is an alliance of 6 however I have 0 faith in Thomas. He is a wild card and will be hard to judge and work with. No idea what’s going to happen tonight. 

Aight a lot happening this merge!!! Fourteen people we losin our minds. First of all let me say half these ppl were kinda boring to talk to but I’m liking it a little better today. I came in wanting Stephen GONE because I lied to him during the taylor vote and we haven’t clicked since and I promised I would get out whoever lied to me in this food challenge and his bitch ass didn’t submit so I didn’t get my perfect ZERO!!!! So I was all ready to press him but suddenly Devon had already thrown out his name! Easy as pie. I rlly trust Kait and her and corey get along. I was branching out to some others too like madison is bae, Devon is fun, I like talking to Ian. My FAVORITE is Maynor I rlly like him but I’m scared matt has a hold on him. Anyways I helped set up some alliances today that I hope are solid. One is me Kait madison corey and then they wanted to add Devon and tommy which is cool. Still kinda pressed at Thomas because yesterday I said ily to him and he replied with lol but other than that it’s a good group. But then suddenly Timmy wanted something with Kait and I so I took that as an opportunity to solidify something with Maynor! Precious angel. Kait and I are worried because the tension between corey and matt lmao which is honestly kinda stupid. Matt was sus about corey after he spearheaded the renee vote which like I understand. And I stirrred the pot a little because I told corey that matt was after him lmao. But for now I’m rlly working hard to keep them from targeting each other and so is Kait. Idk how long that can last tho. Ummmm trace’s THOT HOE ASS told corey he wanted me out?!!! So he gotta GO! And Kait and matt think Ian is dangerous which I’m like ok maybe..., sure. Ummm Cullan is just mind boggling. He ate tater tots for breakfast who does that. But he’s sweet I guess. Id prefer him and Ian and trace gone soon but corey likes all those people oop. I rlly think Kait wants to stick with going to the end with me and matt which like.... I rlly will keep allegiance to Kait but matt? Idk. He kept his idol secret from me and it’s clear he doesn’t trust me as much which is fine, I wasbsure Stephen would target me tonight but apparently now he’s going for Thomas. Hopefully it’s an easy vote and Stephen goes and I get what I want and next round I’ll figure out what to do when it gets harder

Well. Tonight the vote is Stephen. Well, for the majority of us. For little young me, I will be voting for nobody! We acquiring a save vote. Hopefully, at our next tribal, Timmy leaves! Woo! I am in 2 alliances: Mighty Happy Meal (Owen, Kait, Madison, Devon, Thomas) and Queer Eye-ish (Madison, Matt, Trace). Period... I am loyal to my own people. Madison, Owen, Ian, Devon. Kait too, to an extent. The rest need to go at their time. I do what I can. Matt is a priority for me to get rid of. Unless Timmy wants Matt gone, I want him gone too for next time. x

Ep 11: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-fEEBtT8R4hk_587qknbxwLmB8yhN_lt/view?usp=drivesdk

This is my placeholder confession for until I am at a computer and able to type something out. I got back in the game!

alyssa said put ep 11: just a quick recap bc i have to play this silly flash game now before i pass out - corey and matt allegedly not liking each other is still a problem - owen found an idol - i told owen matt has an idol bc i have a big mouth - corey told owen all this shit about the vote and idk just other game sensitive stuff and not me and - there's an aliens of trace, matt, madison, and corey that trace allegedly made. this is a big question mark bc either it's just really random and people that trace wants to work with despite what they said or this beef??? between matt and corey is fake which i wouldn't be too surprised by - corey told all of this to owen before tribal but told him that he was going to wait until after tribal to tell me like.... i don't appreciate that. - i think that kind of solidifies that if/when corey v matt happens and i have to pick a side i wanna go with my matt. - im sure i will think of more tomorrow oh also i want ian to get deleted from skype thx

EP 11 Confessional: I got an idol this round which is cool. I heard the vote was stephen however it’s been kinda quiet. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

Aight a lot happening this merge!!! Fourteen people we losin our minds. First of all let me say half these ppl were kinda boring to talk to but I’m liking it a little better today. I came in wanting Stephen GONE because I lied to him during the taylor vote and we haven’t clicked since and I promised I would get out whoever lied to me in this food challenge and his bitch ass didn’t submit so I didn’t get my perfect ZERO!!!! So I was all ready to press him but suddenly Devon had already thrown out his name! Easy as pie. I rlly trust Kait and her and corey get along. I was branching out to some others too like madison is bae, Devon is fun, I like talking to Ian. My FAVORITE is Maynor I rlly like him but I’m scared matt has a hold on him. Anyways I helped set up some alliances today that I hope are solid. One is me Kait madison corey and then they wanted to add Devon and tommy which is cool. Still kinda pressed at Thomas because yesterday I said ily to him and he replied with lol but other than that it’s a good group. But then suddenly Timmy wanted something with Kait and I so I took that as an opportunity to solidify something with Maynor! Precious angel. Kait and I are worried because the tension between corey and matt lmao which is honestly kinda stupid. Matt was sus about corey after he spearheaded the renee vote which like I understand. And I stirrred the pot a little because I told corey that matt was after him lmao. But for now I’m rlly working hard to keep them from targeting each other and so is Kait. Idk how long that can last tho. Ummmm trace’s THOT HOE ASS told corey he wanted me out?!!! So he gotta GO! And Kait and matt think Ian is dangerous which I’m like ok maybe..., sure. Ummm Cullan is just mind boggling. He ate tater tots for breakfast who does that. But he’s sweet I guess. Id prefer him and Ian and trace gone soon but corey likes all those people oop. I rlly think Kait wants to stick with going to the end with me and matt which like.... I rlly will keep allegiance to Kait but matt? Idk. He kept his idol secret from me and it’s clear he doesn’t trust me as much which is fine, I wasbsure Stephen would target me tonight but apparently now he’s going for Thomas. Hopefully it’s an easy vote and Stephen goes and I get what I want and next round I’ll figure out what to do when it gets harder

[polyesthher]

7/8/17: buy paramore’s after laughter

lol this is mostly me being emo tbh but support paramore ok

i’ve been itching to buy several things lately and idk if i really want them or it’s my depressive state that wants to feed the void with material possessions. i wanted to get a record player bc im definitely buying paramore’s after laughter on vinyl bc aesthetic and the actual record means a lot to me. since i listened to after laughter, i’ve become hooked on paramore tbh and all i want to do is lay around with hayley’s vocals singing into my ears and maybe cry a little. i only started getting into them during their self-titled phase so i’m not remotely attached to the “old” punk version of them. Fake happy is what really sold me on this album btw. It’s everything i want to say to people i’m no longer really close with. It does make me think about how i never want to see certain friend groups again because i’m just embarrassed about my whole existence and feel ok wit it. the line in fake happy that goes “please don’t ask me how I’ve been, don’t make me play pretend” is something that really gets to me. I have nothing in my life right now, other than family and one or two friends, that i genuinely care about and i feel like im at a dead end tbh. having to tell acquaintances/ old friends abt my sad ass life makes me want to scream and i feel like i hate myself even harder. and i always find myself telling half-truths, pretending like im not a failure. Hard times is another relevant jam that’s on repeat. It was the first song i heard off the album and made me check out the whole ep. even if it didn’t feel relevant to me, i’d still bop to it. the overall idea of the album to have cheery synth vibes with depressing ass lyrics gives me life. anyway, i’m not gonna ramble on about this anymore since no one’s gonna read this and i already know my own feelings abt this. 

but yeah, i also want the told u so t-shirt and cd bundle so im gonna wait for the vinyls to be released bc that pink marble record is calling out to me. and a tattoo, which i have a general vision of but im scared of the $$$. + i’m thinking abt moving to ny sometime next year too even tho im not going to FIT bc nj has nothing for me and i need to start living on my own, which means i need to save up. there’s also the last class that i need to take so that i can at least have an associate’s degree, which will def be a couple hundred. there’s also some skincare stuff i want like the eradikate spot solution and the boscia black luminizing mask (best in terms of peeling).

other meaningless tidbits in my mind:

ive been hating my art style even more lately but i still feel compelled to draw

bought a couple books to read even tho my commitment issues extends to reading as well

book related: i read motor crush vol 1 and i like it. babs is always great with the art and the writing is more exciting imo compared to the batgirl comics. snotgirl returned with issue 6 and the art is always pretty even if the plot is still a lil murky and unsatisfying. the plot of vol 1 was kinda messy and i disliked how it ended bc i dont even know if the arc was resolved or still continuing.i like bryan lee omalley’s writing so the writing isn’t something im not used to, i just feel like there’s so many mysteries building up and nothing that really resolves. there are some threads that were resolved in issue 6 (such as what happened in the bathroom with caroline) but another thread shows up in that resolution that has me going ??? Anyways i’ll still buy anything leslie hung does the art for so lmao my gripes aren’t dealbreakers

i went back to watch oitnb even with how pissed the ending of season 4 left me and i did not hate season 5...that much

kesha’s new song makes me so happy

watched baby driver today and i luv it. makes me want to watch more edgar wright and listen to the soundtrack 

i bought 5 bags of flamin hot ruffles bc im paranoid that it’ll be discontinued like the buffalo wing ruffles, which is the definition of overkill

i’ve been looking into gym memberships bc i want to start working out and lose weight seriously now. this is hilarious bc my diet is shit rn (see above). but im sick of not fitting into my old clothes and some new cute stuff i bought online (that i thought would fit). also i really want to lose the baby fat on my face bc seeing my potato face in the mirror really kills the confidence i have left

another thing that’s nagging me is the idea that i want to buy some things just bc those things would add into the image of a person i want to appear to be. it sounds weird but i feel like i want this costume of a person who’s cool for having hipster shit like a record player or colorful sunglasses. it doesn’t help that ppl on instagram make me insecure asf and want the things they have.

ive been trying to stop stalking certain ppl on instagram bc its v pathetic and tends to exacerbate my anxiety and spiral into a depressive hole. its not even like celebrities or anything, just ppl i used to know, which is extra creepy and sad.

this was mildly enjoyable and i think i might write more diary entries on here from now on. it’ll probably be under the polyesthher talks tag, if i remember bc im the worst with tags.

bye