#ok i rewrote this because it didn't touch on everything i wanted it to and also it was poorly organized

[imaginarypasta]

Coming into the new show, I was really curious how Luke was going to be characterized this time around. We’ve seen a mixed bag between the original series, reflections in later series, and the different adaptations, all of which regard him from different angles and places of emphasis. Overall, the show is quite true to the novels—if not directly including certain details, then in spirit (which I would argue is vastly more important). Every change they made was apparent to someone familiar with the books, but it was also very clearly meaningful. The way that things like Percy and Grover’s relationship, Annabeth, Luke, and Thalia’s backstory, and their encounter with Medusa, were changed were distinct from their literary counterparts, yet there was clear thematic reasoning behind this. Because the threads that will connect to his story are not yet settled, the reasons behind the changes made to Luke’s character are not nearly as clear—namely, the change of his status as counselor to camper.

I want to stress the positives of the changes more broadly—the buildup to the eventual ending, the increasing complexity through which we get to examine his character (a complexity that was absolutely present in the books, but also came in as the series progressed and Percy began to unpack some of the ideologies he had built up earlier on, something that at least so far seems to be taking a different route in the show), the way it allows us to examine different (perhaps more overlooked) aspects of his character. This last point is especially interesting as Luke has quite a few sources for his motivations all at once, but those don’t always get the same amount of consideration. 

For me, the most interesting of those was his role as a caretaker-mentor-etc. central to his position as a counselor (and to some extent, in the family dynamic he has with Thalia and Annabeth), which is why it was so striking to me when I realized this seems to be changed. If he’s not a counselor in the adaptation and is just instead another camper, that allows us to examine these more overlooked sources of motivation, but also removes a massive aspect of his character—or, as I will posit, may just relocate it. Today I will examine Luke’s current appearance in the show with analogous moments in the novel in order to unpack how this role functions in the novel, how it remains (if reformed) in the show, and finally suggest how this change impacts the rest of the story.

On whether or not Luke is a camper in the show

Before we begin this journey, it is important to first decide whether this change even exists at all, which will then allow us to examine why it is so important. The first novel explicitly calls Luke a counselor—and the moments this occurs are relevant and will be discussed soon—whereas in the show, his role is not so clearly stated, but we can make assumptions based on a select few moments. The first moment is his introduction, in which he doesn’t seem to take on any sort of big leadership role in camp. When we first see him, he’s in the midst of a conversation with other campers during which one of them points out, “That’s the kid.” It seems difficult to believe another counselor would talk about a camper so unambiguously, so we can deduce that the speaker is a camper, but that does not inherently tell us anything about Luke. What does is how Luke responds: approaching Percy while his entourage, who we will see in a few other scenes, lingers nearby silently, watching and listening. This is clear from their body language and that they literally are not speaking or interacting with anything else. Luke makes no effort to dismiss the other campers at any point, supporting the idea that they are more of an entourage than his charges. 

Something similar occurs in their interaction with Clarisse. When she begins to pick on Percy, Luke diffuses the situation, but as a peer world rather than someone tasked and trained with monitoring and being responsible for children. He says, “Knock it off,” but Clarisse continues on with no repercussions or further attempts to have her stop. Even when he debriefs about the situation with Percy after, he cites his credibility and skill as reasons for others not giving him a hard time rather than the possibility he’s literally in charge of them. With the idea that he is a camper in mind, let’s examine how the caretaker/mentor/authority role he takes on in the books is altered in analogous moments in the show.

Luke’s role at camp

Luke’s initial appearance in the book is quick, and yet so dense. His first spoken line, “‘Now, now, campers. That’s what we’re here for. Welcome, Percy. You can have that spot on the floor, right over there,’” (84) does quite a bit of work. He has immediate authority over his campers, chastising their unwelcoming attitude, and then affirms the purpose of the Hermes cabin. This is something of an innate connection, too, but to see these two ideas together—that he is both an authority/caretaker while at camp, but also that being tied to the job of the Hermes cabin—will set them up as something critical to Luke’s character. They are, after all, literally the first two things he says in front of Percy. Annabeth then explicitly mentions that he’s Percy’s counselor for as long as he’s in Hermes cabin, affirming the authority he has demonstrated over the campers in this scene is echoed by his official position at camp. While Luke doesn’t acknowledge that authority by name himself at this moment, he commands it with ease. We also get a small tidbit here when Percy mentions the traditional camp necklace he wears. Looking back, we might assume Annabeth would mark the first mention of this, but it’s actually Luke. No explanation is given yet, but as Percy later learns what it stands for, this retroactively ties this symbol of camp—and not just that, but years spent there—to Luke first and foremost.

The relevance of Luke’s role as a counselor comes up again when the trio Iris messages him and he brings up the field trip some campers took late last year. This is the second mention of such an instance; the earlier one comes from Annabeth, who says, “‘Some of us year-rounders—Luke and Clarisse and I and a few others—we took a field trip during winter solstice’” (99). Luke, however, brings a slightly different perspective to this anecdote in that later scene. He explains, “I was chaperoning a field trip and we saw [Hades]” (223). It is a subtle change, yet adds an important detail onto Annabeth’s earlier explanation. This tells us two really important things about Luke’s relationship to his job. For one, it is absolutely tied to how he sees the world; this makes a lot of sense, because going on and chaperoning a field trip are super different. Luke identifies himself as that authority/caretaker figure in relation to the campers, whereas a camper like Annabeth makes no differentiation. Second, it tells us that Luke’s position at camp and his role as the lightning thief (and further as part of Kronos’ plot) are tied together. Luke “theorizes” here about how difficult it would be for someone to steal the bolt, going into detail how someone might do it, accidentally implicating Annabeth and quickly taking it back. He is the son of the god of thieves, and has a natural ability to be better at this than most, but that’s not to imply the task was easy. It would be even more difficult if he was responsible for supervising a bunch of children, no matter how well-behaved they are. Luke’s use of his father’s talents does not come up too often, both practically but also in how he defines himself. We know from “The Diary of Luke Castellan” that these skills are not ones he likes to exercise, and yet they are critical to his role in Kronos’ plan. But they’re also critical in another moment.

Luke as a thief

One part of Luke that I find really interesting is his parentage. I know, I know, necessary comment that he would hate me saying that. But really, the way he seems to define himself as a caretaker/authority and through skills he chooses to hone like his sword fighting (we will discuss this soon), as opposed to doing so through the inherited traits from his father in the style of the other demigods, is really fascinating. Still, he cannot seem to manage to get away from this aspect of himself. He steals the bolt, yes, in service of something that would destroy the very systems that gave him the ability to do so, but he also steals something else, something much smaller: toiletries. 

While they are waiting for dinner, Luke gives to Percy toiletries he says he stole for him from the camp store (110). At the start of the scene, Percy is unsure if this is a joke, but by the end, he’s grateful and at least humoring him if not outright believing him. It’s a very small detail and on a first read, really serves to just define Luke in relation to the Hermes cabin. But with the knowledge that he has such an aversion to using these traits and skills he inherited from his father, this action takes on new meaning. Much like he is using them to participate in Kronos’ plan, he is also using them to address a very rampant issue in camp: the lack of resources for the campers. Percy comes to camp with nothing more than the clothes on his back; he doesn’t have any of the necessary things for living here. At least of mentioned things, the camp only provides him a spot to sleep, not even a sleeping bag (85). It is Luke who finds him one later, and who goes against his preferred methods in order to provide Percy with resources for comfort—the fact that what this entails is literally basic toiletries is so telling.

Now seems like a good time to mention that Luke might just be lying. And while I do agree that we should take everything he says and does with a grain of salt, I don’t think there’s actually any reason to believe the camp is not providing campers with basic necessities (aside from food and a roof), even in situations like Percy’s where he comes there with nothing. Even if the camp isn’t starved for resources, it may be for staff. The only authorities there are Chiron, Mr. D, and the counselors. Whether the counselors—all college-aged kids—are given the proper resources is unclear, but the fact that there seems to be only one counselor for an entire cabin of kids (the biggest cabin at that) is massively revealing. As is the fact that counselors really aren’t mentioned for the rest of the books (quite possibly a large part of the reason this was cut from the show). If you start looking for this element, it starts to appear everywhere. I don’t want to get more sidetracked by this point than I already have, but I want to posit the idea that the support and resources are not there and wonder what that might mean for Luke’s motivations and for the campers who turn to his side. We know that the kids are not getting attention or even acknowledgement from their parents most of the time, but what does it mean if they are also not being supported in any way? This gives us a great insight into campers whose parents are minor gods especially.

A hidden darkside

One of the most fascinating changes to me between the novel and its adaptation is how Luke’s—pardon the word choice, I’m aware it’s cheesy—darkside makes its appearance. In the novel, Luke is introduced as this relaxed, calm guy. A few scenes later, he approaches Percy and begins to discuss a bitterness towards his father that really surprises our narrator based on how he sees him (100). Not only does it surprise Percy, but Luke’s attitude and body language actually scare him. He recalls, “... for a second I thought he was going to gut me, but he just scraped the mud off the sole of his sandal” (101). While he mentions this fear, Percy doesn’t really address it besides those momentary fear responses. Otherwise, he continues to trust in Luke, going so far as to be grateful for his attention and even ask him clarifying questions about things that have been bothering him.

We get a similar bait-and-switch in the episode, but it ends very differently. Percy’s immediate reaction to Luke approaching him for the first time is worry he’ll be given a hard time. This is due to a lot of things—Percy’s experience with bullies, the part of the conversation he overhears, the way Luke approaches him—but is immediately assuaged when Luke compliments him. This marks a huge difference to the books, in which the change doesn’t come from Luke’s attitude, but from Percy brushing it off. As viewers of the show, we almost feel silly for believing Percy’s instinct when Luke is so immediately friendly. Even his bitterness at the gods is tempered by soothing comments about not trying too hard to understand them; that coolness is maintained, but in an entirely different way. 

The best swordsman in the last three hundred years

Perhaps one of Luke’s most infamous scenes in the first book (though hardly the most lasting) is when he teaches Percy’s sword-fighting lesson. This scene is cut entirely from the show, and I’m quite curious as to why. Luke is a mentor figure to Percy—we’ll discuss soon just how this manifests—but he does not directly teach him any tangible skills. We see him accompanying Percy to find “[what he’s] good at,” but this direct impact on Percy’s abilities is nowhere to be found. There’s not even an analogous scene for me to compare it to. Rather, let’s take a look at the initial scene, how it comes up in later books, and what it might mean that it’s removed.

During this scene, as Percy and Luke spar, Percy mentions that, “Luke deflected it easily, but i saw a change in his face” (110). The exact details of the change are small: his eyes narrow and he uses more force, but Percy doesn’t even have a guess as to why that might be. Perhaps it’s increased focus, perhaps something more insidious, but there’s an ambiguity there that’s challenged in a few lines. When Percy disarms him, Luke responds, “‘By the gods, Percy, why are you sorry? Show me that again!’” while grinning (111). At the end of the scene, Luke “[appraises Percy] with an entirely new interest” (111). The general sense here is curiosity, intrigue—and yet we have no way to gauge Luke’s actual thoughts. 

At the start of this scene in the book, we hear from another camper that “‘Luke’s the best swordsman in the last three hundred years’” (109). While this could easily be hyperbolic or indicative of the sheltered world of camp, we get confirmation of this in later books. The only person who truly gives Percy a hard time in terms of sword-fighting skills is Luke (including much later when he’s possessed by Kronos), and even later than that with Chrysaor in The Mark of Athena. This scene with Chrysaor is so revealing because it allows us one of a few sympathetic looks at Luke after quite a bit of time has passed, and it’s framed through the sword skills Luke taught Percy that he never had need to improve because Luke was simply the best teacher that there was no demand for it. 

A camper in the show makes a similar comment, but that is really the most we get of Luke’s sword-fighting abilities. He doesn’t train Percy here—in fact, Percy seems to have no formal training in this skill whatsoever, yet we can assume he’ll improve over the course of the show. This disrupts a huge point of comparison between Percy and Luke—that Luke’s skills seem to be self-taught and cultivated through hard work while Percy, though he has some training early on, largely operates through innate skill. Even if we change the basis of that comparison, it’s not one we’re naturally drawn to make anymore because we don’t even see Luke with a sword, except in passing. The role Luke takes on in relation to Percy must take on an entirely new angle, which begins with what we learn about Luke before he knew Percy. 

Revealing his backstory

The choice for which aspect of his backstory Luke reveals plays a huge role in the differences in his characterization between these two versions. In the book, right before he walks Percy through the ropes of dinner, Luke mentions his failed quest. In the show, while preparing for capture the flag, Luke explains his backstory with Annabeth and Thalia. Choosing these different moments to define him before Percy meets him gives us an entirely different view of Luke. The change does quite a few things: defines his relationship to Annabeth from his viewpoint (something we’re not really given in the books) and redirects the question of glory in regards to his character. Not only that, but it makes that question so much more explicit, but also doesn’t acknowledge where he’s already failed in achieving that goal by his father’s terms. We get the introduction to Luke’s glory aspect so much more directly: in his explanation of kleos. This is perhaps the most explicit way Luke’s role is redefined in the adaptation.

Redefining Luke’s role

Though he does not have the same practical role in camp as in the books, Luke still manages to take on a mentor role towards Percy; it just looks a little different.  Quite a few of the moments given to Annabeth (and others) in the novel are given to Luke in the show, like being the first and main person he talks to at camp and just generally his point of entry and explanation there. Scenes between the two of them are Luke reassuring and encouraging Percy, such as that they will find “[what he’s] good at” and introducing him to camp activities like capture the flag. 

Aside from his practical expository role, Luke becomes relevant to how Percy is feeling/conceptualizing his time at camp. He affirms Percy’s anger, but suggests a more relaxed approach to it, not always explicitly but through example and advice. Overall, he really lets Percy come to his own conclusions about his feelings but absolutely hints at an alternative approach to the sort of reaction other figures are expecting/even leading him to have. Notably, we can see a line developing between Percy’s friendship with Luke and his feelings towards his father with how quickly Percy pivots between these ideas in his prayer to his mother (an idea discussed in-depth in the Seaweed Brain podcast episode about Episode 2 from 12/23/23). It’s very subtle, but as we find these two very distinct things in the same conversations, we can notice the way they’re becoming associated in Percy’s mind without him even noticing it. 

Relocating his sympathies

Of course, if we consider how Luke’s relationship to Percy changes in how his role at camp changes, then we must also consider how it changes in regards to other campers. That is, if we are to assume that his role as counselor for the Hermes cabin is critical as a main pillar of his motivations, what does it mean for his connections to the campers and to his own ideals that this is now different?

One way to look at this is through the framing of the scenes in the show. We often see Luke coming out of these hushed conversations with other campers (who we likely presume to have a bit of an idea of what he’s up to, based on who we know the named ones to be). In the book, I never interpreted Luke as a loner, but he seemed so singular in his actions at least to start, that to have these hints of discussions we are not privy to with people we know will be tied to Luke’s cause in the future, really makes his cause seem bigger at the start than I at least had imagined. And while we hear later of his influences on the camp when he was there or “visiting,” these come in later books and force Percy to sort of reimagine his influence that has been slowly growing during the series but always present. In the show, he is not as unique in his opinions, but perhaps the role he’s able to take on is (i.e., as a counselor in Hermes cabin), which of course opens the very interesting question of why him (his allegiances, after all, don’t necessarily seem to be his first choice). 

Before I conclude, I want to suggest where this sympathetic element of Luke’s motivations may be relocated to. I’ve mentioned briefly that I find it pertinent that Luke is not only a counselor, but also of the Hermes cabin. Removing this aspect, for me, was removing a really interesting aspect of his characterization. However, we’re not just cutting things from his character but rearranging them entirely—including the ability to now see his relationship to Annabeth (and to a lesser extent, Thalia and perhaps even Grover) from his perspective. Especially because he hints at this in his character diary, I wonder if that aspect of care that takes one step beyond his righteous anger at his father & perhaps the gods more broadly, and is now placed in defense of his self-identified family.

Conclusion

As for what all this offers for the show at large… I don’t want to get into my thoughts about why Luke’s characterization is so important to me, both in his role in the plot and as a foil to Percy because we will simply be here forever, but it really does offer us something different from the novels. One of the easiest things to get out of Luke in the books is his disappointment with and anger at his father, but one of the clearest things we see about Luke in the show is his interest in glory. We know this because he explicitly introduces the concept, because he shows us how it can be put into place (his position in camp irt characters like Clarisse), and because of how he reacts in small moments like in capture the flag (with a lot of excitement! I think he enjoys the game, or at least winning it). I’m very curious as to how this will manifest later, especially when discussing something like his quest. 

It’s not impossible that the ideological aspect of Luke’s motivations comes without him being a Hermes counselor, but it is a position that gives him a unique angle to develop those feelings, but also a unique position to enact them (i.e., he gets to meet basically every camper that comes through, or at least a lot of them. This means he’s simultaneously relearning the sort of circumstances demigods have, but also can develop personal relationships with many of them); I have to wonder how it will manifest in the show, as we redefine what sort of relationship he has with Percy, the other campers, and his family, should they choose to even keep this aspect. I am especially curious to find out how his motivations will be changed further when we’re no longer conceptualizing this as a question of Western civilization, but instead one of different “worlds.”

[navree]

I saw your post from a while ago were you rewrote hotd using the vague outline of the show can i ask what your ideal hotd season 1 would be like keeping the same episode count but ignoring everything else???

So, I'm gonna assume that by HOTD you do still mean the vaguest "it's about the Dance of Dragons" plot because honestly my ideal HOTD show would have been a Conquest show because those are my babies and I have a LOT of thoughts and it's a crying shame that HBO did not hire me for it (which I can get into in how I'd make that show if you want, lol). But, assuming we're doing the Dance, then I'll explain how season 1 would go from my perspective.

(also apologies, I just got back from a sushi restaurant with my mother and I'm two cocktails deep so there may be some grammatical errors)

Episode One - I'll just link back to what I wrote in this response, because that's still the same. I actually really like the bones of the show, especially changing the Rhaenicent relationship to make it what it is, I think that is more interesting for a longform narrative like a TV show. But basically, the pilot is entirely the same except for the fact that 1) Daemon and Mysaria get an introduction that's just them observing one of Mysaria's customers behind a curtain, being voyeuristic and conniving but not engaging themselves and 2) there is no prophecy. Verbatim from my first response: "I'm not against the idea that Aegon might have had ulterior motives beyond simple Conquest, and we know that Targaryens are capable of having prophetic abilities, but no this should not have been a secret passed down through generations for some fucking reason because that's stupid. And most importantly, considering that HOTD needed to succeed in spite of Game of Thrones, not because of it, because of how awful the last season was and how immediately it faded from the public consciousness and stopped being relevant as a result, the show should honestly not be so frequently be calling back to a disappointing aspect of the show. "A Targaryen must be seated on the Iron Throne" ok but she wasn't and the Long Night ended because some rando had a good ten yard jump according to D&D cuz they wanted to "subvert expectations" stop reminding me of that if I want to be enjoying this new show." Not to mention that it doesn't make sense because the succession was shot to Hell almost immediately for the Targaryens, Aenys likely would have passed that secret down to Aegon the Uncrowned, who died before he could tell anyone anything, Jaehaerys was an unlikely heir, he didn't know about any prophecy, God this was dumb. Also, again, Rhaenys would get her own introduction, I imagine maybe visiting her cousin Aemma as she nears labor when Viserys comes in, ranting about something that happened at the Small Council, where Rhaenys gets an opportunity to show better political acumen and make it clear that Viserys was the wrong choice for the crown.

Episode Two - This is the first episode where we hear Otto talk to Alicent about going to the king for comfort, that would be nixed from the first episode. As with the show, we see that Alicent is deeply uncomfortable with this, and there's gonna be a lot more emphasis on Viserys's own manipulation and how it parallels modern ways men groom young girls, talking about not telling anyone cuz they wouldn't understand, pointing out Alicent's maturity especially when compared to Rhaenyra (who is her age), etc. Meanwhile, the plot on Dragonstone is one that Daemon and Mysaria hatch together, albeit for different reasons (Daemon to get Viserys's attention, Mysaria because she can see that tensions might be starting to boil over and wants to protect herself as best she can). The pregnancy is a fake, but the only one who really starts to think that is the Velaryons, particularly Rhaenys. She would get a scene at Driftmark with Corlys, to showcase again that she's really in touch with politics, where she believes that this is both a ploy to shore up power and get Viserys's attention, while both Corlys and her children listen in (this will be important later). Rhaenyra, meanwhile, is clearly struggling with her role as heir, and we'd get scenes showcasing that no one really takes her seriously and even Viserys still just sees her as a cupbearer rather than an heir. The only person, ironically, who really seems to want to help her and who she leans on for support in learning how to do things, like appointing Kingsguard knights (which happens same as the show), is Otto. She really leans on Otto, as not just the Hand of the King but her friend's father, who she believes has her best interests at heart. The episode still ends the same though, with Viserys announcing in Council, in front of Rhaenyra (though he's never consulted her this time) that he will marry Alicent, to her shock and horror.

Episode Three - Not to be self-indulgent, but the bulk of this episode is going to be like my fic Spring's End, because I was correct in everything I wrote here so go read that also because I wrote it in like two days and it somehow turned out semi-coherent. That's the main crux of the episode, focusing on Alicent's reaction and really hammering home things like Viserys's inappropriate behavior, Otto's love in conflict with his ambition, and the tension between her increasingly important but isolated status at court, as well as starting the sort of Lancelot and Guinevere relationship she will have with Criston. Meanwhile, Rhaenyra is spiraling, hard, about the fact that her father is marrying her friend and still not taking her seriously, along with feeling like she was duped by Otto in that he allowed her to depend on him while seemingly scheming to get someone else on the throne in her place. And it's in this mindset that Rhaenyra decides to go to Dragonstone to confront Daemon herself, without any backup. The two have a heated verbal confrontation about Daemon's antics, and Viserys naming Rhaenyra heir, and even the fact that it doesn't matter, because he's marrying Alicent Hightower, and Rhaenyra has a moment where she tells him that Alicent will likely have sons, and Daemon will never be heir. This clearly cuts to Daemon, and he just decides to give up the dragon eggs and turns away. Rhaenyra has scored a victory, and she feels triumphant, but also hollow (foreshadowing). Daemon meanwhile decides to send Mysaria away, and it's left debatable how much is just because his plan failed and also because he does feel he's put her in danger for nothing, and decides to go to Driftmark. Back at King's Landing, Viserys learns of what Rhaenyra has done during dinner, and summons her to lambast her about it, before Alicent cuts in and points out that Rhaenyra diffusing the situation, while careless, did avoid a conflict that could hurt innocent civilians (this would precipitate the semi-reconciliation that shows up later). Viserys here is clearly torn between a sort of pride in his daughter, but also feeling that she behaved badly, and Rhaenyra is still angry at him but wants his approval. On Driftmark, Daemon and Corlys disparage Viserys and make plans to at least go deal with the Triarchy, which, while not hyped up nearly as much in the show, has at least been mentioned. Daemon also has a moment with Laena Velaryon, who here is the same age as Alicent and Rhaenyra. They notice Vhagar in the distance, talk about dragons and freedom, and Laena makes plain that she intends to claim a dragon for herself, as her mother's daughter, even dropping names like the Cannibal, which certainly piques Daemon's interest. The wedding between Viserys and Alicent goes off, though we are getting that deleted scene where Rhaenyra helps Alicent get ready, because I really wish we could have seen that or at least been told it happened before I wrote Spring's End.

Episode Four - Queen Alicent is pregnant, near term, and the court is alight with speculation as to whether it will be a princess or a prince. Rhaenyra is unsure of how to feel about it, and is trying to navigate the friendship, uncertain though it is, with the fact that Alicent is now the queen. She's gotten closer to Criston Cole, who seems to be primarily on bodyguard duty for the queen or the princess depending on the day, as well as Laena Velaryon, who is at court with her mother, who has informally taken Corlys's place on the Small Council now that he's in the Stepstones with Daemon; this is another way to show that Rhaenys is better at this than Viserys, and there are even moments where the Council is more in agreement with her than him. Meanwhile, the Stepstones aren't gonna be touched on much beyond maybe the final battle and some occasional references, except to show Daemon's military prowess and also Corlys's brilliance in strategy, as well as Corlys's frequent correspondences with Rhaenys, to highlight their cohesion. Meanwhile, in King's Landing, the Strongs have also arrived at the capital. Rhaenyra sees Harwin doing, idk, horse stuff or something medieval and masculine, and is quite taken with him, and they strike up some conversations. Larys, with his disability, finds himself interacting with the ladies of court most, especially Alicent, and the two form a sort of friendship surrounding engaging each other's minds, and they both enjoy that they're the only ones who seem to treat the other as an actual person, rather than the pregnant wife or the disabled second son. Rhaenyra's frank and open conversations with Harwin, on the other hand, embolden her, and we get that scene where she seduces Criston, and there's a lot more play with the fact that Criston is interested and does want it, but is held back by vows before giving in to desire (also, we're just going to put a lot more emphasis on Criston's religious convictions in this version of the show, especially during his convocation in episode two when he joins the Kingsguard). Towards the end of the episode, Alicent goes into labor. Viserys and Rhaenyra share a bonding moment about their worries for Alicent's safety and the reminders of Aemma and what happened to her, and for a moment it looks as though Viserys is goign to tell Rhaenyra what he did to her mother. Rhaenyra also gets a moment where she holds Alicent's hand during labor, and we see her simultaneous love for Alicent in that as well as her clear discomfort with the concept of this being her own fate. And then Alicent delivers a son, a direct challenge to Rhaenyra's claim.

Episode Five - A big thing that's going to happen in this episode is that this is where Laena claims Vhagar. She's at Driftmark for it (foreshadowing) and, given that we've seen her in episodes three and four, it becomes clear that Vhagar is following Laena specifically. So we get to see the claiming, and Laena's own power in that. That's something that, as Daemon returns to Driftmark with Corlys, he's going to learn about, and he's going to be very intrigued by that, and taken with Laena. Another thing we're going to see is Corlys's negotiations with allies he made in Essos during his time away, arranging a betrothal between Laena and the son of the Sealord of Braavos. Rhaenyra's plotline, on the other hand, is going to be about her asserting her own power, especially now that her father has a trueborn son named Aegon Targaryen, which is a direct threat. She has a moment with her father where she directly tells him that, as his heir, she's not just going to be his cupbearer, but deserves a seat at his Small Council. He acquiesces, and Rhaenyra butts heads with Otto a lot, and pushes hard for Harwin Strong to be made captain of the Gold Cloaks, and succeeds. This is coincides with Otto hearing rumors that Rhaenyra has been behaving inappropriately with men, especially Harwin and Criston Cole. He discusses these with Alicent, who refuses to believe that of both Criston and Rhaenyra, given that Criston is spending more time with her as her bodyguard as he struggles with his "sin". She does have that scene in the godswood with Rhaenyra, but instead of issues with Daemon, it's just saying that there are rumors spreading about her behavior and that Rhaenyra must have care with her reputation. Rhaenyra figures out it's Otto who's informing Alicent, and the mood here is complex; Alicent does want to look out for Rhaenyra but also wants to ascertain the truth, and Rhaenyra both sees and feels emotional about Alicent's care but also isn't sure if she can trust Alicent. Rhaenyra keeps that moment where she swears on the memory of her mother that nothing untoward happened, but this time it's an out and out lie, to showcase the way she handles issues that might harm her and her position, lie and deny (foreshadowing). There's also gonna be a scene, before the godswood, where Rhaenyra and Alicent talk about motherhood, and we see more of Rhaenyra's complex feelings on the topic, and she does admit she was worried Alicent would die in childbirth like Aemma.

Episode Six - It's Aegon's name day, and we can clearly see that Alicent is pregnant again, not as far along as she is in the show during episode three but at least starting to have a bump. And it's here that Daemon decides to make his return to court, and dramatically offer Viserys his crown and say that any title about the Narrow Sea means nothing to him, because Viserys is his true king. I'd add a lot more scenes of Viserys and Daemon in this episode, because remember, we haven't seen them interact since the first episode, and also to really highlight how there is a genuine affection here, especially on Daemon's part. Daemon and Rhaenyra also reconnect, and have a lot of conversations in the vein we see in the original episode 4, talking about how they can do whatever they want because they're Targaryens. It's heavily flirtatious, and we do get that scene of Daemon taking Rhaenyra into the city. Here, there is more an emphasis on Daemon really just wanting Rhaenyra to enjoy herself, since we'd have another scene between him and Laena at court, though more stilted because her intended, the son of the Sealord, is here too. But after that scene where the commons show more enthusiasm for baby Aegon than her, Rhaenyra and Daemon return, and Rhaenyra has a blunt moment about her struggles to be taken seriously. It gets pretty hot and heavy, and it's not in a private room, but one of the corridors. And lo and behold, who hears about it, but Otto. And this time, he takes his issues to the king, who does summon Rhaenyra to discuss it. Rhaenyra turns it around on Viserys, accusing him of abandoning her now that he has a son, and mentions that Otto has been spreading rumors not just about her and Daemon, but her and Harwin and her and Criston, and that she feels that Otto is no friend to the crown if he's going to impugn her own honor this way. Viserys discusses these allegations with Alicent as she's taking care of him, in earshot of Criston, who is horrified about being found out. But we get that moment from the show, where Alicent goes to bat for Rhaenyra, and points out that maybe Daemon was spreading some rumors himself. An emotionally exhausted Rhaenyra also gets a scene with Rhaenys, and they discuss the concept of being allowed to inherit, of inhabiting a man's position even though they are not men and cannot act like it, and the nature of Targaryens vs other Westerosi. Also there's a scene this ep in reference to a deleted scene from the original show where Rhaenyra is playing with toddler Aegon and getting him to say her name, a sweet moment between a brother and sister.

Episode Seven - Helaena has been born and is a few months old, and Rhaenyra and Otto are butting heads on the Small Council more and more, and as Daemon and Rhaenyra continue to spend time together, Otto continues to bring his concerns to the king. Eventually, Viserys fires Otto as the Hand, at Rhaenyra's insistence, and we do get that scene from the show between Otto and Alicent where he stresses that he doesn't think Rhaenyra could ever ascend, and that whole bit Rhys Ifans was talking about with how Otto wants to say "I love you and I'm scared for you" but doesn't know how. Alicent, feeling vexed that there are rumors about Daemon's behavior but nothing is happening, strongly urges Viserys to also send Daemon back to the Vale with Rhea Royce, saying that his habits endanger the Targaryens by engendering enmity in the smallfolk who feel that he's just allowed to act with impunity. Viserys also agrees to this, which Rhaenyra is not happy about, since it feels like Alicent removed an ally to her for no reason. Criston, meanwhile, we see continue to spiral about his tryst to Rhaenyra and the fallout of the lies involved, and goes to Alicent to ask if he can be in her service, and not have to spend time with Rhaenyra anymore. Alicent, who can see that he's upset about something, readily agrees, which drives a further wedge between her and Alicent. Rhaenyra turns to Laena Velaryon, who isn't particularly enthused about her betrothal to the son of the Sealord, and also to Harwin Strong just as a companion. After dinner with Laena and Rhaenys, Rhaenyra decides that she needs to take a husband to solidify her claim, especially with gossip at court that the king still summons the queen to his bedchamber in spite of having two children, which Rhaenyra does remain disgusted by. She goes to Viserys with the proposal that she tour the realm to find a suitable husband for the heir to the Iron Throne, and Viserys says nothing about her using that title, but agrees.

Episode Eight - Rhaenyra has been touring the Kingdoms, trying to find a husband, and it's not going well. She does go to the Vale, under the auspices of looking for a husband from that area, but mostly still to talk with Daemon. Laena also frequents the Vale, and the three of them tend to race their dragons, and Rhaenyra does notice that there's a simmering attraction between Laena and Daemon, which she calls Daemon out on, saying that, as Princess, she has no interest in playing second fiddle before she eventually departs the Vale. This leaves Daemon to confront what he does actually want out of a potential alliance with the Velaryons and the longstanding attraction with Laena (and maybe this leads him to killing Rhea? i'm conflicted on that one honestly but she does die in this episode, either accidentally like in the book or in a murkier version of what Daemon did in the show, maybe him just spooking her horse without bashing her head in with a rock). In King's Landing, Viserys grows increasingly infirm due to his various Iron Throne issues (yes I'm keeping that), and as such, Alicent has started accompanying him to Small Council meetings, which a lot of people are conflicted about. At first, we see her not doing much, but she eventually starts speaking out more and more. And at one point in the episode, Viserys is going to have an amputation, one that lays him up in bed for a bit, and Alicent still attends the Small Council in his place to speak for him. When someone points out that it is the Hand who speaks for the king, Alicent retorts that who knows the king better, and can thus speak for him best, than his own wife and, crucially (and the first time she ever flexes like this) the mother of his only son. At Driftmark, Rhaenys is back to ruling there, given that Corlys is back on the Small Council, and is definitely bitter about it. That's when Rhaenyra arrives, and offers a proposal: that she marry Laenor, and their first son be a Targaryen heir, while the others would stand to inherit Driftmark and other Velaryon properties as Velaryons. Rhaenys agrees to this, only writing a letter of the proposal to Corlys after she's done so to inform him that it's happening. Rhaenyra also gets more moments with Harwin in this episode, to build up to their relationship, and an important moment comes when she confides her issues with childbirth and childrearing after watching what it did to her mother.

Episode Nine - Rhaenyra arrives and is a bit weirded out to learn that Alicent is now on the Small Council too. The first meeting they have, where Rhaenyra discusses her marriage to Laenor, is a bit tense between them, and definitely awkward, but there's still an attempt at politeness. Rhaenyra has her talk with Laenor about different tastes, but she does also stress the importance that she does need an heir, so there will need to be duties performed on occasion to create one. Laena, meanwhile, is very not happy about Laenor's marriage and the bargain it includes, talking to her mother about how, if Rhaenyra can be the heir to the Iron Throne regardless of gender, then she, as Laenor's older sister, should be the one to inherit Driftmark and be the Lady of the Tides, and so should her own children. Rhaenys says that it's not going to happen, that Rhaenyra is only a solitary exception due to Targaryen nature, and Laena bluntly puts that it's a ridiculous thing to have it only be Rhaenyra, and that what would be the point of it at all if it didn't lead to larger change, otherwise the entire enterprise is doomed to failure (foreshadowing). Back in King's Landing, Criston Cole, whose arc this season has been about his religious convictions and how it feels to have betrayed those and seen the fallout, eventually cracks and confesses to Alicent, doing that whole "it's my sin but as a clement queen give me a quick death" moment. And Alicent is again betrayed at the fact that Rhaenyra lied, and the fallout from that lie for her and what that means about Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra, meanwhile, has a late night talk with Harwin about having to choose a husband when there wouldn't be an expectation of her to choose a wife if she were a man, and Harwin is genuinely sympathetic, leading to a spontaneous kiss. When the rehearsal dinner happens later, Rhaenyra is dressed in her house colors, dramatic Targaryen red and black, but Alicent arrives in a dazzling green dress, the colors of Oldtown at war. She gives a smile to Hightower relatives, yes, but the conversation about how she's grown into queenship is actually had with Tyland Lannister, who we'd have seen her interact with on occasion at the Small Council. Rhaenyra clocks Alicent's coolness towards her, and the two have a private moment when left alone on the dais while Viserys does, idk, something, and Alicent makes a cold callback to Rhaenyra swearing on Aemma's memory, letting her know that she knows of the lies and she's angry.

Episode Ten - It is the wedding day of Rhaenyra and Laenor, and everyone is here, the Velaryons and the son of the Sealord and all the Strongs and all the retinues of the Houses and even Otto is here as a guest, given that he is the father of the queen. Before a tourney to celebrate the impending nuptials, Rhaenyra and Harwin have a talk about their feelings, and Rhaenyra does stress that she wants him but it has to be discreet because of her position, but she does have an understanding with Laenor, and the two share another kiss. Meanwhile, Alicent, just to be petty, tells Viserys she feels that she's pregnant again, and that it's another boy, and Viserys, because he's a moron, actually announces this before the tourney. This is the tourney where, in the mélee, Criston Cole kills Laenor's lover Joffrey, to Laenor's shock and horror. Laenor and Rhaenyra are both immediately calling for consequences, but Alicent comes in for Criston, saying that it's an armed mélee and thus there's a natural acceptance of risk, which Joffrey knew, and Viserys lets the whole thing slide. This casts a pall over the wedding ceremony, and during the feast that night, Laenor is still dejected, which is why Rhaenyra goes to dance with others, like Harwin, and Daemon, who has been invited, and the two have another sexually charged moment. Daemon also dances with Laena, and bluntly asks her whether she wants to be married to the son of the Sealord, and she says no, and makes a comment about wanting Vhagar to eat him. The Sealord gets a bit uppity about someone else dancing with his bride to be, words are exchanged between him and Daemon, and it eventually breaks out into an actual fight. Alicent impulsively calls out for Rhaenyra, and Harwin does go to remove her, and Rhaenyra does have a moment where the first thing she does is check if Alicent herself is unharmed, showing that even with the worsening relationship that we've seen crack apart, there's still love there. Daemon eventually kills the son of the Sealord as Viserys, who again has been having those health problems all season like in the original show, passes out. This allows both Daemon and Criston Cole to sneak out unnoticed, and Criston, like in the show, is going to kill himself. Again, we've seen him kinda spiral all season, and after now killing someone too, not in combat but in a game, he feels at his lowest. And like in the show, Alicent stops him, though we do seem her kneel in the grass and take the knife from his hands. Alicent and Rhaenyra both then go to stay by Viserys, and we see them arrive at the same time before they sit on opposite sides of his bed. And here I will ape myself and my original answer again: "Episode ends with Daemon saddling Caraxes, ready to ride away before someone thinks "hey maybe we should imprison the guy who killed a foreign ally's leader", and then suddenly a great shadow blocks out the sun. Suddenly Vhagar lands in front of him, Laena atop her, and Daemon thinks, oh shit is she gonna try and fight me for killing her betrothed? He's still on the ground, and suddenly Laena climbs down from Vhagar to join him there. She doesn't say anything, but she smiles at him, and Daemon bends to kiss her hand." Meanwhile, at Viserys's sickbed, you have Rhaenyra, the Velaryons (minus Laena), and Harwin on one side, and Alicent, Larys, Otto, the Lannisters, Criston, and two attendants holding Aegon and Helaena on another. It's interspersed with a shot of Caraxes and Vhagar taking flight, almost dancing in the air, and their calls intermingle with baby Aegon beginning to cry. The dragons are dancing, the Targaryens are choosing side, and children are already weeping; th war may not have started yet, but it is already here. As Vhagar's wing eclipses the camera as she flies away, episode ends.

So this is uhhhhh not my best work as I'm making it up on the fly as I write this, but here ya go, HOTD season 1 if I were allowed to be showrunner. I'm not sure how coherent this all is, or if I got across all I wanted to. TL;DR here is that I would put a lot more focus on Alicent and Rhaenyra's relationship and its slow, gradual disintegration, as well as establishing the burgeoning sides that are going to be taken, along with adding more complexity to characters that were left by the wayside in the original show. But hope you liked it!

[notasapleasure]

AO3 wrapped 3, 18, 29 😁

Took me a little while but I got there, thanks so much for the ask! (Ao3 unwrapped questions)

Consider this my belated contribution towards Sunday sentences/fic engagement I promised I'd do...

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Because this question doesn't specify 'this year' I suppose I can still say part 1 of the Andor saga au, The Saga of the Coal-biter and the Skraeling. It's fpn, Brasso's pov, it's such a niche setting, it's a prequel to everything that happens in S1, it's more Brasso's growing up story than about Cassian, it's ridiculously, ridiculously niche, but it's basically a novel that I actually finished writing and I am so proud of it! I've spent most of this year working on part 2 and I'm desperate to get it finished before s2 comes out...

Link to the saga au on Ao3. Also search the tag #saga au on my blog

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

As if I've written any other characters for years lmaooo, but this big struggle this year was writing Cassian and Brasso in the punching fic aka don't need any help to be breakable. It was such a pain to wrestle them into a position where Cassian had annoyed Brasso *just enough* to provoke a punch, but that they would both still be in the mood to fuck afterwards. I wrote and rewrote Cassian's wheedling and whining again and again, and the whole thing was a puzzle of paragraphs for months where I was shifting round each cagey sip of nog and trying to find a thread through that maintained the right balance of tension. I think it worked out ok in the end? I was so relieved to finish it I forgot to include a bit of closing dialogue I'd planned right from the start, but I think it wraps up ok anyway.

Link to punching fic on Ao3. It's affectionately called the punching fic because it's a premise @r0b0tb0y gently handed me like a small endangered mammal of 'what if their cover story happened but 'you fell and I helped you back to your chair' actually meant 'I hit you and we had sex about it''.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Is it cheating to say my favourite is one that someone else keeps mentioning? I love that the bit in the punching fic about sleep-paralysis Cassian's clenched fist and Brasso's gentle hold became a shorthand for them and their relationship to @distressednoise and I am therefore hugely proud of it:

A big, warm hand enveloped one of his fists, knuckles sliding over the skin of his torso as they forced their way between Cassian's hand and his body. The touch was careful, like Cassian was so brittle he'd break if bent too far out of position. Another hand cupped his face and Cassian imagined being able to lean into it, to be able to tremble with gratitude at the touch.

But I'm also really pleased with the (incredibly angsty) saga au prequel bits about young Cassian's life in Tollan that @distressednoise and @stripedroseandsketchpads challenged me to write. I was trying to avoid having to get too deep into the details of his past in the saga au because the level of unknowns was so daunting, but in the end it was really helpful to think about the specifics of his earliest traumas - and I do always love thinking about the contrasts between the boy Kassa and the adult Cassian, as well as what features of his personality have remained the same.

Parts 1 and 2 on tumblr.

A later snippet, set around chapter 5 of the saga au, also on tumblr.

Thanks again for the ask!! I didn't post a lot of writing this year compared to some previous years, but I have been writing away pretty consistently still. And I am always up for chatting about my beloved saga au if anyone wants to join me in the mess of my own making (aka how to tell Cassian's story via Brasso's perspective when Brasso wasn't there for huge parts of it).

[aetheternity]

Pegging them (5wirl)

A/N: I have returned to my element! (snorts get it.. cause anemo.. well I think its hilarious!) Anyway I wanted to have this out during kinktober even though I'm pretty sure pegging is not a kink but whatever.

Random things of note: (You do not have to read this I just felt like talking about it outside of the tags.) 1. I wrote Venti's entire part in the span of two days. Realized it was basically a one shot and too long for a headcanon post then scrapped the entire thing and rewrote it in the format you see now. 2. Xiao, Kazuha and Heizou's parts were written on the same day. 3. Kazuha's part was originally going to have reader shoving his face into the pillows but I decided for something more gentle. 4. I didn't have an idea for Heizou ahead of time, the spanking was kind of a shot in the dark.

Disclaimer: No gender specified so if you have a dick you can technically still enjoy this ig?? Minors Dni. This is a modern au. Mentions of being rough in Aether's part light spanking in Heizou's part.

Venti~

~ He had legit never heard of pegging till you brought it up. But Venti being Venti is immediately intrigued by something that has his lover shifting around with unease.

~ "You're so cute! Just how long have you been sitting on this? You look like you could burst at any second!" He teases only working to make your skin feel twenty times hotter than it already was. Stomach concocting knot after knot while he cupped your face only enhancing your anxiety.

~ Ultimately he agrees to it. Why wouldn't he? He loves everything you do to him.

~ He's not concerned at all in fact he's almost overly excited when he comes home to find you in your shared bedroom with all the items laid out ready to play with him.

~ Though the nervousness on your face slowly winds him down.

~ "Windblume, it's ok. I know it's gonna feel good because it's you and me." He coos and pecks quick open mouthed kisses over every part of your forehead. Eventually getting you to untense enough to remove the rest of his clothing.

~ If you weren't relaxed enough before his very eager, very breathy moans and the reddening of his entire face when your fingers brushed his prostate eased you completely. His fingers intertwining with the sheets as he bucked his hips with tiny gasps of, "More." and the pet name he'd uniquely given to you.

~ His cockhead smearing precum along his stomach with every arch of his back. Tears streaming along his cheeks.

~ Windblume.." He nearly choked as you pressed a third lubed finger inside his tight entrance. The tips of your fingers coming up to brush over his hardened nipples. "It's.. so intense.." He shivered, pleas for you to fuck his ass spilling off his lips.

~ You managed to talk him through it as you pressed the lubed tip inside. Massaging his cock with your free hand till he melted into your touch. "How's this, love?" You questioned over his meek whimpers.

~ "Kind of weird.. but.. it doesn't hurt.." He shuddered as you continued to press the entire length inside of him. Pausing to allow the feeling to subside.

~ Your wrist flicked just gentle enough to relax him. Just until his body sank gently back into the mattress. Up until he was whispering words of approval for you to move.

~ He doesn't even begin to hide his eagerness when you press right up against his prostate again. His lips upturned, teeth clamped and eyes so alight with pleasure that it sends a chill down your own spine.

~ "Faster, Harder.. please.."

~ He can't help but reach out to you. Wrap his arms around your waist as he clings onto your heat. His moans being swallowed up as you press as deeply as you can.

~ You find your fingers sinking into his hips, tugging him as close as possible. Pressing kisses to his ears as you whispered small words of praise.

~ It's not long before he's spilling over. So consumed with this new feeling he'd never experienced before and the pleasure of having you fuck his ass.

~ As if he didn't enjoy it enough, the comfort of having you run your hands up his back and heaving chest made things all the better.

~ Don't be shocked when he asks you if the two of you can repeat this endeavor in the near future.

Aether~

~ He doesn't exactly have a track record of saying no to you so when you ask he agrees to it. Even though he is one hundred percent in the dark on what it is.

~ "My ass? You wanna fuck it?" When you nod he simply chuckles. "That sounds hot."

~ "You're too casual when I ask you stuff like this." You playfully pout returning his kisses when he leans into you.

~ "So you want me to panic?" He asks "Ah! I can't believe you want to fuck me silly!" He can't help but explode with laughter.

~ "Just for that I'm not gonna be nice about it."

~ You stayed pretty true to your word. But Aether managed incredibly well. His sphincter loosening fairly quickly to the lube.

~ And God was he so incredibly adorable. His hips trembling and swaying as you fingered his pretty ass. Knees digging so deeply into the mattress. Little whimpers falling off his lips with each new finger added until you were scissoring them so easily and swiftly that he was wetting the bed beneath him with precum.

~ "Such a cocky little shit and now look at you." You tsked with fake disappointment.

~ He can only answer with a gasp while you gently press inside of him. Shifting your hips to press the tip of your cock against his prostate. Delighting in the way his arms nearly buckle beneath him.

~ Doesn't take long for you to set a quick pace. Plowing into him till he yelps and cries with pleasure. Your left hand sliding up his back to his braid to twist it around your wrist tugging him back into your thrusts.

~ He doesn't even pretend to mind. The curling of his spine appearing more prominently, encouraging pleas falling off his lips.

~ The look of his head pulled back in your grasp only worked to turn you on so much harder than you ever had been before. The rickety clattering of the bed further cementing just how hard the two of you were going.

~ By the time he finally cums he's sinking into the bed. Not even trying to hide the shake of his body, breathless as you soothe him. Sliding your palms down his back.

~ You'll probably have to wait till he wakes to ask him if he enjoyed it. But judging by the streaks of cum layering his stomach and the bed you probably don't need to.

Xiao~

~ Does not know what that is the unholy trilogy.

~ And once you explain he says outright that he does not want to even try it.

~ He's not scared, of course not and it's not because he enjoys being a top. (Let's be honest he's probably the power bottom in your relationship). He just hates breaking from routine. The two of you have sex at least once a week every week on the same day. The most breaking of the schedule being if he comes home late or perhaps if one of you is too tired.

~ "Aww Xiao Xiao.. you don't want to try something new? Aren't you worried about things getting stale."

~ "Are you asking because you're unsatisfied with our current arrangement?"

~ Doesn't really matter how you answer that Xiao caves within a couple days. The pressure to make you happy has always come from his own anxiety and never actually from anything you say or do after all.

~ He seems so much grumpier than usual when you just have him strip and sit on your lap.

~ While he sounds a bit agitated by it, the constant check in's do indeed ease his stress over this new experience. That is until you start to play with his ass and he tenses up, knees quivering at your sides.

~ "Want me to stop?" You ask, squeezing the fat of his hips.

~ "I'll be fine." He repeats as he had every time you'd asked.

~ You slip a hand between his thighs slowly coaxing a hand over his cock till he naturally loosens around your finger. The gorgeous curve of his back high lighted perfectly in the dim lighting of your shared bedroom.

~ By the time you make it up to three fingers he's squirming and panting uncontrollably. Cockhead drooling across each of your fingers to be used as lubricant. The way his cheeks had flushed out combined with his disheveled bangs making him so much cuter.

~ "I'm going to put it in now." You tell him "Tell me if you want to stop."

~ His hands lay flat on your stomach, holding out for purchase as the lubricated tip slowly curves inside him followed slowly and carefully by the entirety of your shaft until he found himself seated with a heavy exhale. You question him a bit on his breathing, moving your hands to cup his cheeks but he simply shook his head brushing your concerns away.

~ "I want you to enjoy this too Xiao Xiao."

~ Despite his insistence that he was indeed ok. You still gave him the opportunity to set his own pace. Delighted by his initiative in the matter.

~ All you really have to do is coax his hips along with one hand and flick your wrist along the head of his cock with the other. Showering him with praise until his dick twitches excitedly.

~ He stays fairly quiet unlike the others. Focusing mostly on riding you with the occasional breathy huff or loud grunt. Sweaty bangs clinging to damp spots against his forehead.

~ His hips start to move sloppily as his orgasm approaches and to your surprise he leans in to you. Breathily hiding every noise he can no longer contain on your lips. Nails raking along the sheets as his climax drenches your hand and both your stomachs.

~ He keeps twitching for a couple minutes exhaling and inhaling hard. His weight almost completely on top of yours.

~ "You seemed to enjoy that huh Xiao Xiao." You almost giggle knowing fully well that his cheeks were bright red where he'd stuffed his face into the crook of your neck. You don't push him any further, just brush your hands along his back. Placing kisses over any areas you could reach. Up until his breathing steadies.

~ You'll just have to wait till tomorrow to give him the proper aftercare he deserves.

Kazuha~

~ The first one here to actually know what pegging is.

~ Probably anticipated you asking for something like this because of your obsession with his ass.

~ He's pretty willing to try it too. Even asking you if you'd ever had experience doing something similar in the past.

~ "I'm actually a little surprised you're so willing to do this with me." You say, giving his cheek a small kiss.

~ "All relationships go through periods of experimentation, my love. I wish to continue trying new things with you as much as possible so that we can truly become one soul."

~ "There goes the flowers Beidou's always talking about.." You chuckle

~ You lay beside him on your side as he lays in the same fashion. Drawn into his heat by the soft hitches of his breath and nearly inaudible moans. He fingers himself so swiftly but you love to watch.

~ Love watching his cock shake between his legs as he spreads his own ass. Scissoring those lean fingers in and out. Every thrust sounding so wet, bouncing off the walls of your shared bedroom.

~ "Ok.. I think.. I'm ready." He pants inching close enough for you to press your tip against his prepped hole.

~ You take hold of his cock first. Easing yourself in until he's filled. Stroking delicately as you go.

~ "Can you speed your hand a bit?" He questions immediately gasping as you follow his instructions.

~ You keep your pace slow and steady above all. Just focusing on deep, long thrusts to fill his pretty ass. He rewards your efforts with a part of his lips, sucking in air as it's dragged from his lungs.

~ "Kiss me.." He nearly whimpers and you indulge. You'd never seen Kazuha like this before it almost felt out of character the way he moaned unabashedly into your mouth. Sucking your lip into his kiss.

~ Your fingers sifting through his untied hair. Keeping his head close as you pressed against his prostate. Pure lust flooding your body at the completely sinful sounds that fell from Kazuha's lips.

~ He tried his best to hide it but you'd caught it. You'd caught your boyfriend moaning and whining so submissively if you weren't doing it to him you would've imagined it were someone else.

~ When he gets close he starts to beg you. Beg you to allow him to finish. Beg for your hand to continue stroking his cock. Those scarlet irises trapped behind closed eyelids.

~ "My good Kazu.." You whispered and he couldn't help but cum at those words. Pressing ever closer to your heat with his breathy sighs.

~ He looks so drained as he tries to sit up but you simply insist that aftercare is on you tonight. You nearly overheat when you hear him call you, "An amazing partner." Underneath his breath.

Heizou~

~ He's well aware of pegging and what it is. However his immediate response to you asking to do it to him is surprisingly speechlessness.

~ It's not that he's surprised it's more that he'd never been a bottom before. Not even in previous relationships. He also can't quite wrap his head around someone playing with his ass.

~ Though he trusts that you'll be gentle with him so he talks through it with you a bit further before coming to an agreement.

~ "Man alive.. that's cold.."

~ "Don't tense up or it'll hurt." You respond

~ He presses his ass back for you allowing a single finger to slide in half way before he's huffing and cursing.

~ "Does this hurt?" You question

~ He moans in a way that sounds both pleasured and pained. You pull his hips back into you fisting his pretty cock until he carefully unwinds for one finger.

~ "I'll admit this sensation.. it's quite odd." He chuckles trying to suppress a disgruntled groan.

~ "I know it's a bit uncomfortable Shika but you have to relax a lot more before I can fuck you. Otherwise it'll hurt."

~ "No no I'm aware.. I'm.. trying." His knees shake as you try your hardest to talk him through a second finger, stroking his cock a bit faster while trying to avoid an immediate climax.

~ "Right there.. fu.. yeah that's the spot.."

~ He presses back into your hands, spreading his legs wider to let you pound his prostate till his moans become long and drawn out.

~ "Think you can take the strap now?" You question, holding the lubricant out to properly rub on your cock.

~ "Ah.. just keep it gentle this is my first time after all." He chuckles throwing a wink over his shoulder at you.

~ You simply roll your eyes, "Don't worry, I'll be just as gentle with you as you are with me."

~ "Ah ha.. that's not funny."

~ "It's a little funny."

~ You'd prepared him better than you'd previously assumed. Delighted by how little resistance you face pressing in up to the half way point. Sliding back out before pressing forward a little deeper.

~ He mumbled a series of words softly calling to the gods as you grabbed hold of his ass giving it a quick slap. Then another slightly harder one. Comforted by the soft moans that slipped off his lips.

~ "Darling.. darling that feels good.." He doesn't even try to hide the way he lowers his arms. Pushing his ass up for easier access.

~ You watch strands of hair slip from his hair tie and without thinking about it, you reach forward loosening it to let the mess of red flood his shoulders. The glint in his eye catches you just before the curtain of hair falls over his shoulders.

~ He shakes his head, letting the strands fall evenly over his back. His elbows sinking further into the mattress as he clings for purchase.

~ Your name falls from his tongue from the depths of his throat and he works a free hand between his legs to make your job easier.

~ When he cums it's so abrupt you hadn't even noticed till he randomly gasped. Panting out exclamations and curses in brief, unstructured sentences.

~ You pulled out for him and he instantly flipped onto his back. "Are you sure that's the first time you've done that?" He asked tongue curving over his lips.

~ "Of course. I wouldn't lie."

~ "Well, I hope in the near future we can do that again. I never knew how good it felt to have your prostate massaged."

[causticsunshine]

Hey I'm the same anon from earlier. I saw in the tags that you didn't like how you wrote some of the things in the college au and I want you to know that I love everything about that fic. Like I dont want you to feel pressure to finish it, but I feel that I have a duty to tell you how good that fic is. For me there are only 3 fics that accurately characterize Steve and yours is one of them. I also fee love how you characterize Billy, how he acts in the fic I feel is an perfect representation of what modern Billy would be like. In addition to your awesome characterization, you keeped the characters consistent all the way through. Which is an amazingly hard thing to do and you did it so well! I know you wanted it to be shorter but honestly the reason I have read you fic 3+ times is because you have written a fucken beautiful slow burn and one that flows perfectly too! Lile everytime I read your fic I fall in love with how you tell the story it is just such a great build up with awesome background characters that make it so realistic. You have pretty much written the first part of a publishable book in my opinion. I know you are not in love with the fic anymore (which is totally fine by the way) and I also know that you feel that it was too long. That is why I am sending this post as a person who loves what you have written you should not in anyway dislike what you wrote. It is amazing. I understand it was not what you initially wanted/intended to write but you wrote something amazing nevertheless. I hope you are proud of what you wrote because you should be! (Also once again this is post is not ment to convince you to continue it or pressure you in anyway I just wanted to let you onow how much people love it as is and you should too. I also felt like you needed some and I am happy to give it to you) You are a gifted writer and your readers love you and will read whatever you write next.

ok first and foremost, anon:

and second:

i really have no like. comprehensive thoughts or words to offer because i honestly never expected such a kind and heartfelt response over anything i’ve created?? 😫😫

like i’m genuinely just stunned and so touched and just. thank you sm?? tbh i don’t feel pressured at all to keep working on the story itself, but i do feel a little more...okay with how the story’s been written til this point, even if even in the past year i think i’ve improved my writing ability a lot.

honestly it’s been actual years since i’ve had any kind of confidence in things i’ve done creatively, particularly with my art as that’s both a hobby and something i want to do to make a living one day, but with my writing too, even if it’s just a hobby i consistently pick up and put down. i’ve had a lot of bad fandom experiences in my time online—esp considering most of the time i’ve just been like. standing around or trying to make friends lmao—and that’s deftly affected my ability to create anything, even things i’ve solely for myself. like up until a few months ago, i legit can’t tell you the last time i drew or wrote anything for me and me alone. or at least anything that i finished before the guilt of being “selfish” ate at me and i scrapped whatever it was i was working on, because i’d convinced myself no one but me would like it, so what’s the point? 

this fic in question was one of the first fics i’d started solely for me and actually posted in years, which i also think is why i’ve been so hypercritical of it from the start. bc now i’m meant to not only satisfy my impossible standards, but satisfy other’s too?? (i mean i rewrote the first chapter five times over the span of like, four months or so??) really i’m just a very critical person of any and all of my work, and trying to get just a little external validation online to, i dunno, undo some of that toxic perfectionism, has only worsened it. 

and truthfully it’s never really been that i haven’t liked the idea of the story? especially with how many personal experiences i pulled from to build the overall plot i’d just be like...shitting on my own life more than i already do lmao? it’s more so how i delivered the idea; i really do feel like writing chapter to chapter just Does Not work for me, which is what i did this whole fic up to the last chapter, and i need to just write in big chunks + then break those sections up if it feels better to do in chaptered format, otherwise just stick to oneshots even if they’re monstrously long and daunting in word count.

genuinely at this point though i’m also thinking like...maybe one day, i dunno when or even if, i won’t start it over from scratch (again)? and when, if i get back to it, i’ll just have to deal with the dissatisfaction of keeping in plot points i still want to write out, scenes i should’ve deleted, pacing i’m just not happy with, and go along with some characterization tics i would rather do over, and move forward w the story.

all my stupid rambling aside though, i wholly feel i don’t deserve this level of genuine praise in anything i’ve done but i’m also trying to be nicer to myself + my work so thank you again from the bottom of my heart for such an unexpectedly sweet and encouraging message 🥺💕like what this would’ve done for me when i was even still involved in harringrove ajkdg where were you mf Angels hiding before now?? again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this follow up message, i’m so so grateful for your kindness and honesty!!