#like i said i think it would have been better to have the entire first season be milly and emily

[azzibuckets]

sweet [part three]

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count: 2k

masterlist

Paige has only ever fallen in love once.

She knows that it’s wrong, everything against her moral code, to have a girl in her bed while thinking of another one entirely. But in the middle of the night, when Ella is fast asleep and Paige shifts away to her side of the bed, her thoughts can’t help but wander to soft brown eyes and long tan legs. When Ella chooses a sweater from her closet to throw on, she can’t help but think of how Azzi wore it better.

But these are just remnants of feelings, Paige reminds herself. She’d gotten over Azzi long ago, when she’d realized there was no chance her best friend could ever reciprocate the same feelings. Azzi was always the first one to slip out after sex, talking about having to study or do something important. More often than not, Paige woke up to an empty bed. Azzi was the one who always changed the subject whenever Paige brought up their situationship, clearly not wanting to take things further. Azzi was the one who had met Ella enthusiastically, patting Paige on the back.

In other words, Azzi Fudd was very much not in love with Paige Bueckers.

So Paige knows that it’s a good thing that Azzi seems to be distancing herself, that it would probably help snap whatever was going on them completely in half. A clean break from a universe where she’s not completely and utterly in love with the one person she can’t have. But Paige also knows that she’s going absolutely batshit crazy without her, which is how she finds herself outside of Azzi’s apartment in the middle of the night for the second time in two weeks.

As soon as the doors opens, Paige blurts out, “Did she say something to you?”

Azzi stares bleary eyed and dazed at her. Paige almost blushes at how cute Azzi looks in her little pajama shorts, the cloth riding up to show the smoothness of her thighs. Blushes. She needs to get ahold of herself.

“What?” Azzi’s sure she’s half hallucinating.

“If she said some shit to you, you can tell me. You know I don’t fuck with anyone who doesn’t fuck with you.”

“No, Paige.” Azzi rubs her temples. It’s always three steps forward and four steps back with them.

“Then what’s the problem?” Paige says, frustrated. “You‘ve barely been responding to any of my texts and you keep cancelling our plans.”

“The problem is that you’re willing to break up with your girlfriend for me!”

Paige’s expression turns sour. “That’s not what I said. I’m saying that you’re my best friend. And I care about what you think.”

“We’re not normal best friends, and you know it,” Azzi accuses. “Ella doesn’t deserve this. I know what it feels like, constantly worrying about another girl. It’s not fair of you to treat her like that.”

“You’re calling me a bad girlfriend?” Paige scoffs and looks away, a dirty taste in her mouth. “You don’t exactly have expertise in this area.”

Azzi’s lips tremble. “I can’t do this anymore, Paige.”

“Wait.” Paige reaches for her, flinching when Azzi pulls away. “I’m sorry, Az. I didn’t mean that.”

“I think we should-” Azzi exhales, gathering her thoughts. “We should take some space.”

“Space?” Paige wrinkles her nose. “We’re not even dating and you’re fucking breaking up with me?”

“It’s not like anything will change from the last few weeks.” Azzi folds her arms, looking like she’d rather be anywhere than here. “We barely even talk anymore and when we do, we’re fighting. This isn’t healthy. And - and Ella is good for you. She’s safe.”

“I don’t want space,” Paige says. “I can’t do space.” Her voice cracks, and Azzi only realizes now how bloodshot her eyes are, the bags underneath dark and pronounced. “Not from you.”

Azzi wipes her cheek with her sleeve. “I’m sorry.” She opens her mouth to say something, then cuts herself off by looking away, and Paige is well versed in everything Azzi - her body language, her habits, her tells - enough to know that the younger girl is hiding something from her.

“Say it.”

“Paige, stop.”

“Tell me!”

Azzi bites her bottom lip, worrying the skin with her teeth. “I was just gonna say…” she hesitates. “I was just gonna say that I’m seeing someone else too. So space would be good. For both of us. For me.”

“You’re seeing someone else?”

Azzi ducks her head. “It’s not any of your business, but yeah.”

“Who?”

“It’s really new. We’re not even dating yet.”

Paige’s heart drops. “Is it a girl?”

“Yeah.” Paige’s heart plummets all the way to the floor. A guy, maybe she could handle. A girl? There’s something so much more intimate about being with a woman, and she doesn’t know if she can handle even just thinking about Azzi lying in bed with another girl, touching another girl, loving another girl.

“Can I meet her?”

“I’m introducing her to the team next week. You can come if you want.”

Paige nods to herself, still trying to comprehend the fact that Azzi is with a woman - a woman that’s not her.

“I’m sorry.” Azzi repeats quietly. Then she turns her back, heading back to her room. “Lock the door on your way out.”

“Azzi.” It’s a last plea, a cry for help.

The younger girl halts, but she doesn’t turn around.

“We’re gonna be okay, right?” Paige’s voice is trembling.

“Of course we are.” But Azzi doesn’t sound so sure of herself.

Paige approaches her slowly from behind, putting her hands on her waist, hesitantly at first. When Azzi doesn’t move away, instead subconsciously leaning back into her touch, she rests her forehead on the younger girl’s shoulder, breathing in her scent, breathing in her. They stay like that for a few moments, breaths ragged, cheeks wet. Then Azzi’s covering her hands with her own, squeezing them gently before moving them away, stepping away, walking away, closing the door, and she’s gone.

Paige has only ever fallen in love once. Now, she thinks her heart has broken once too.

••

“I don’t like her.”

Ella brushes mascara over her lashes, dabbing at a dark blotch that had accidentally streaked her eyelid. “You haven’t even met her.”

“Well, I can already tell she’s a bitch.” Page grumbles, pacing the room for the fiftieth time that night.

“Don’t be insufferable,” Ella fixes Paige with a scrutinizing glare. “Come on, we’re gonna be late.” She grabs Paige’s hand, and Paige grimaces. Ella’s palms are always so clammy.

Much to Paige’s chagrin, her best friend isn’t even at her own apartment when they show up. The rest of the team is about to start the movie, so she sits in the corner with Ella as the lights dim. She can’t even eat the popcorn her girlfriend offers her, too busy thinking about what Azzi’s girl looks like.

Halfway through the movie, the door opens suddenly, and Azzi and the other girl fall in, giggling over something stupid. They freeze once they realize everyone’s eyes on them, but Azzi quickly straightens up and grabs her hand. “Everyone,” she says shyly. “This is Micaela.”

The entire team stands up at once, going to greet her with open arms, but Paige stays fixed to her seat, staring stubbornly at the movie. “Come on,” Ella gripes, nudging at her shoulder. “Don’t be rude.”

“Movie’s not done yet.” Paige finally reaches for the popcorn, steadfastly chewing the kernels without giving Micaela another glance.

Ella gives up, leaning back and folding her arms as she tosses another glare to the blonde. It’s only when Nika clears her throat that Paige looks up and realizes that everyone is staring at them expectantly.

Paige is resolved in her refusal to get up, but then she finally looks at Azzi. And Azzi is staring at her, with so much hurt and hope in her eyes, screaming you’re still my best friend, that Paige’s own chest hurts and she forces herself to stand up. “Hey,” she says gruffly, making her way over to Micaela and sticking out a reluctant hand. “Paige.”

“Paige! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m a huge fan!” Micaela gushes.

Paige arches an eyebrow at Nika, trying to hold back a laugh, but the brunette gives her a warning glare. Coughing away her laugh, Paige nods. “That’s cool. It’s nice to meet you too.” She glances over to Azzi, making sure she did okay. Azzi’s shoulders relax, her smile becoming a little brighter, and Paige’s eyes soften.

Everyone gathers on the couches to finish watching the movie, but all Paige can hear is the low tones coming from the kitchen, where Azzi and Micaela had stayed to make food. But when she enters, Micaela is gone, and Azzi is alone.

“Bathroom,” Azzi responds to Paige’s lifted eyebrow. Paige nods, opening up the cabinet and rummaging through the snacks, feeling the weight of Azzi’s stare on her back.

“We don’t have anymore Chex mix.”

Cursing under her breath, Paige closes the cabinet.

“Your girlfriend’s wearing my hoodie, by the way.”

Paige’s head snaps up. “What?”

“Her hoodie. It’s mine.” Azzi tilts her head, studying Paige carefully.

Paige’s face warms. “Sorry. I didn’t notice. She just took it off my bed.” Her blush intensifies when she realizes the mistake she’s accidentally just admitted, and from the tense look on Azzi’s face, she’d caught it too. But instead of addressing it, Azzi turns away, busying herself with making her sandwich.

Paige waits a little longer, hoping the younger girl will say something else, but she doesn’t. So when she returns and KK’s pouring out shots, she takes more than a few.

“Okay, y’all. We playing truth or dare,” KK announces after everyone’s had a few drinks in their system.

Ignoring the complaints, KK gathers everyone in a circle. “I’ll go first,” she declares.

With the shots she’d taken earlier, Paige feels a little loose, a nice warmth in her tummy. She’s almost relaxed when KK says, “I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in the room.”

As if on instinct, Paige’s eyes flick to Azzi. It’s brief, and she only hesitates for a second, but it’s enough. Ella shifts uncomfortably beside her. KK is smirking, not even trying to hide the look on her face. And Paige swears she sees a hint of a smile on Azzi’s lips before she looks away.

“Come here,” she says softly, pulling Ella in and giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

“On the cheek is crazy,” she hears someone mutter. Jana elbows KK, who rolls her eyes.

KK goes around, insisting on a new version of truth or dare where she gets to ask everyone the question. Having grown accustomed to KK’s antics, no one even bothers to protest against her system.

“Azzi,” KK says. “Who was your New Year’s kiss?”

The whole team oohs. Last year, they’d been in a hotel for a game on the first day of January. Everyone had gathered in the lobby to watch the ball drop, but Paige had convinced Azzi to sneak off with her, saying that it just wouldn’t be right to start a new year without a kiss. Luckily, no one had put two and two together, but they’d all noticed Azzi returning with a goofy smile. Despite their pestering, Azzi had refused to tell them. Paige had thought it was to keep their situationship on the down low, but she realizes now that maybe it was because Azzi was embarrased of her. Her chest constricts.

“I can’t remember.”

Paige’s grip on her shot cup tightens. Azzi refuses to meet her eyes.

“Must’ve been pretty bad if you can’t remember,” Ice snickers. Paige swears she’s seeing red.

“Yeah.” Azzi pours herself another shot and drains it. “Must have.”

••

“I suck at a lot of things, but kissing isn’t one of them,” Paige says, her words slurring together.

“What did you want me to say? Both of our girlfriends were just sitting in there.” Azzi argues, just as buzzed as Paige is. The two of them glare at each other, the alcohol coursing through their bodies making them hotheaded. I wanted you to say that you kissed me. I wanted you to say that you liked kissing me. I wanted you to say that kissing you makes me feel alive in a way that nothing else can. I wanted you to feel the same. Paige’s chest heaves.

Micaela walks in, instantly picking up on the tension in the room. “Everything okay, babe?” Her hands circle Azzi’s waist as she eyes the blonde warily.

“Everything’s fine,” Paige says shortly. “We’re in the middle of something here. You can go.”

“I didn’t recall asking you.” Micaela snaps with a fire Paige didn’t know she had inside of her. “Are you good?” she directs the question at Azzi, drawing her closer.

“I’m fine.”

“Is she bothering you?”

Paige expects Azzi to open her mouth and tell Micaela off, like she always does whenever someone tries to pit the two of them against each other. Paige expects Azzi to laugh at the sheer thought of having to be saved from her best friend. But Azzi doesn’t do any of those things. She says, “Yeah, she is.” And she lets Micaela lead her away.

Is it possible to get your heart broken twice?

[thewertsearch]

@krixwell asked: I think it's general theory summary o'clock. Broadly, what are your expectations for the rest of Act 5 and its ending?

I'm a little late answering this one - but hey, better late than never!

I can't predict the rest of the Act anymore, but I can try and predict the ending. Here are my predictions for what'll happen in Cascade, organized by character.

Rose & Dave

The Derse twins, who have dispatched DD together, meet Aradia at the Green Sun. The Tumor detonates as planned, but Aradia is able to save them somehow, possibly by spiriting them away with time travel...

...or, by telling them how she cheated death.

Aradia was able to resurrect herself without a backup body, from a pedestal hidden within the moon of Derse; the very moon the kids are currently piloting. Doc Scratch has already hinted that Rose might ascend on 'another quest bed somewhere', and I think this is how she - and Dave - could do it.

If Rose and Dave died destroying the Sun, it would almost certainly count as Heroic – but that doesn't actually matter. If the twins die on Quest Slabs, they won't die as God Tiers - they'll die as mortals, and resurrect as God Tiers. They should reincarnate safely, as the Sun collapses for good.

The Meteor Crew

To be honest, I don't think the trolls will have much of a role to play in the endgame. All the action is happening in the kids' session, and now that the Scratch has started, they can't even contact that session.

In any case, these kids are planning to follow the Green Sun's explosion to a predetermined rendezvous point. I'm not sure how they're going to get there - but Kanaya is a wielder of the Space Aspect, so maybe it's her time to shine.

...I mean, shine even more brightly than she already does.

Jack

After he absolutely kills CD, Jack is destined to travel to the troll session, but I still have no idea how. Perhaps the dimensional instability created by the Scratch will start to rip holes into other sessions, and he’ll be lured into one? Who knows.

I'm as stumped as I ever was. Only one way to find out, I guess!

John

Once he's triggered the Scratch, this kid's going to need an out. He'll need to make himself scarce in order to avoid being erased...

...or, perhaps he won’t. Perhaps, as the Heir of Breath, he’ll be able to use the Breeze to conceal himself from whatever force is destroying the session, the same way he hid his scent from Jack.

Either way, he'll probably be fine, while the same cannot be said for...

Jade

The greatest of Fs for our girl. Jade's been killed in an extremely tense situation, without leaving much hope for her resurrection before the Scratch.

The Sprites are still around, but I don’t know how they’d revive her- like, sure, Nanna has a healing beam, but I don’t think she can heal death. Plus, Jade made a Choice with Echidna to locate her Final Frog - and it seems that accepting a Choice will inevitably lead you to sacrifice your life. If Jade's death was immediately undone, would it really count as a sacrifice?

I don't want to call it too early, but... it isn't out of the question that Jade is gone for good. Especially when she's already got a replacement, waiting in the wings.

Jadesprite

I think it's genuinely possible that Jadesprite could take over Jade's role as one of the 'main' four kids.

She's about to lose her First Guardian powers, but she should still have time to fulfil Echidna's request in her realself's stead, simply by shrinking the entire session, and teleporting it to the Furthest Ring, where her allies can captchalogue it. Hell, this would be easy for her.

I really, really don't want Jade to be dead. But, well... she made a Choice.

The Endgame

Finally, we see the consequences of the Green Sun’s destruction, which I’m sure are as cataclysmic as they are unexpected. Rose realizes how badly she was played, as Scratch's full hand is finally revealed. All of Paradox Space shakes from the impact. Scratch and Snowman die, and English consumes the troll universe.

Everyone meets up on the exiled Lands, and they resolve to travel to the reset session, once it’s spawned.

Act 6?

After we're done, I’m hoping for the Guardians-as-Players to get the Hivebent treatment – by which I mean, I’m hoping Act 6 gives us the full story of the Scratched session, right from kid Nanna standing in her bedroom. It’s also possible, though, that we’ll join their session in medias res, as our protagonists' teenage parents face hitherto unknown challenges in a new Medium. I'll talk more about my specific predictions for the Guardian session in their own post, once Act 5 has fully concluded.

The adventure continues, as the kids slowly realize that English, and the Paradox Space twisted to suit his ends, is the true enemy, and they begin to make plans to confront him directly.

[lucy90712]

Finding out you’re pregnant

A/n: Happy new year guys. As promised for the new year this is the start of a pregnancy mini series. New parts will be out when I can get them done hope you enjoy ~ Lucy 

Gavi: 

Over the past week or so I haven't been feeling right I've felt nauseous most days and just overall not myself. I have also missed my period which only really points to one thing but I don't want to believe it. Pablo and I are still so young sure we've been together for nearly 3 years now but having kids isn't something we've talked about much. We both want them but it was always an in the future thing so for it to maybe be happening now has me panicking. I know I should take a test to find out for sure but I'm scared because once I know the result it becomes real and if I'm pregnant I have to tell Pablo. 

Today though I feel like I can't put it off anymore I have to find out and deal with the consequences whatever they are. I can't do it alone though so I went out and got a test as Mikky is coming over with Miles and I figured she'd be a good person to have around when I find out as she's been through it all. When she arrived I told her how I'd been feeling and my plan and she was encouraging me straight away telling me that everything would be fine. After I took the test she waited with me and even looked at the result first as I was too scared even though I already knew what it would be. Once my suspicions were confirmed and I knew I was pregnant the conversation turned to how to tell Pablo, Mikky suggested doing something simple like just giving him the test in a box so that's what we set up. 

When Pablo finally got home Mikky left leaving just the two of us. Being alone with him I felt so nervous I mean what is he going to think he doesn't often get mad at me but I can see this being one of the rare times he does. Surely he doesn't want to be tied down by a baby when his career is just starting out I know he wants to enjoy being young but I don't know if he can do that for much longer. 

"Are you ok you've been extra quiet ever since I got home" Pablo said 

"I'm fine but I have something for you" I said handing him the box 

"You're pregnant" he whispered clearly shocked 

"Yeah I am and I know we said we weren't ready for kids so I'm sorry and I get if you want nothing to do with me now" I rambled

"Hey it's ok I'm actually really excited we're starting our own family sure it's sooner than I imagined but I can't wait to see this baby grow" he said giving me a kiss which made me feel a lot better 

Pedri: 

Pedri and I have talked about having kids. Starting a family is something we both want but neither of us are quite ready yet or at least we weren't but now we might have to be. I've been feeling quite sick the last few days and straight away my mind went to the day Pedri and I weren't as careful as we usually are which of course has come back to haunt us. I wanted to ignore it and at least wait for my period to be late but Pedri wanted to know now and I'm not going to say no. 

To find out we needed a test as I don't keep them on hand as we are always careful so I don't keep tests for emergencies but maybe I should. Pedri wanted to come in the store with me but he also didn't want us to be seen and for someone to put our business all over social media. So it was just me who went in wearing sunglasses and a mask so no one recognised me either. It was so nerve wracking buying the test especially when the cashier wished me luck I felt like a teenager sneaking around behind their parents back. On the drive home Pedri held my hand the entire way trying to help calm me down which was a sweet gesture but it didn't really help. 

Back in the comfort of our own home I went straight to the downstairs bathroom to take the test. Pedri stood with me as we waited the 5 minutes for the results his arms were around my waist and my head rested on his chest as I thought about what the result might mean for us. It all feels like a lot but having Pedri there made me feel a lot better as it felt like we were truly in this together. The timer I set scared the both of us as we were in our own little world but quickly we were brought back to reality. As I went to flip the test my hands were shaking so Pedri put his hand on top of mine and we flipped the test together. Two very obvious lines stared back at us both which I thought would make me feel nervous but I was actually overwhelmed with excitement. 

"I can't believe it I'm actually so excited" Pedri said 

"Me too I thought I'd be more scared but I'm actually so happy" I said 

"Clearly we were ready to take this step and just needed the push to realise it" he said 

Jude: 

Jude has always said he doesn't want kids and I was on board with that as having kids isn't something I've ever been crazy about. It isn't something I ever ruled out completely as you know people can change their minds but in my mind that was at least 5-10 years in the future if ever. Recently though I've just felt off like somethings not right so when my period was a few days late my mind went straight to the worst case scenario. Any normal person would probably tell their partner and they would figure it out together but I'm terrified to tell Jude in case he leaves me as he has made it very clear multiple times that having kids isn't something he wants. 

This fear is exactly why I went and got a test and took it on my own without anyone knowing. I could've talked to one of my friends but I didn't want anyone to possibly let it slip to Jude as I need to be the one to tell him. Of course the result was exactly as I feared it would be I was very much pregnant. I cried for hours after I found out as I knew I had to tell Jude and deal with whatever the consequences will be which will probably end with me doing this alone when Jude ultimately decides to leave me. Realistically I should've told him that day to get it over with but I couldn't handle it mentally so I put it off. 

It has now been over a week and I am still hiding this big secret from Jude, I have wanted to tell him I really have but the right moment hasn't come up yet. He is starting to get a bit suspicious though as he keeps asking me if I'm ok and giving me weird looks when I say I'm fine. As I've waited so long I've built up this moment so much that I'm so scared for it to actually happen. 

"Hi love how are you?" Jude asked as he arrived home from training 

"I'm good how was your day?" I asked back 

"What's up with you I can tell you are keeping something from me please just tell me what it is whatever's wrong we can figure it out together" he nearly begged 

"Please don't be mad but I'm pregnant" I finally blurted out 

"Wow that's not what I was expecting" he said 

"I'm sorry just please don't leave me" I cried 

"I'm not going to leave you I promise I just wasn't expecting that I know I said I didn't want kids but for some reason I feel different with you I'm ready to step up and for us to do this together I'm actually kind of excited" he said 

"I love you" was all I managed to say 

"I love you more" he said 

Joao: 

Joao and I have been together for a few years and engaged for a year now and after moving to London we had a discussion about our future together and ultimately we decided that both of us were ready to take the next step and start a family. Even though we said we were ready we agreed that we didn't want to rush the process at least not right now so we wanted to take a more casual approach. I stopped taking my birth control but I haven't been tracking my cycle or doing anything special as I'm under the impression that it will happen when it happens. 

Over the past few weeks I've been feeling really ill I just have no energy and I have been feeling nauseous most days. To start with I just got on with my life as I thought it was just a little cold or something but as time has gone on and I've not got any better I realised it must be something more. Joao made me call off work the past few days to rest and see if that makes me feel any better but that hasn't helped either. After another day of barely leaving our bed Joao suggested I take a pregnancy test just to be sure as then if it's not that he will definitely make me go to the doctors. 

Luckily I have pregnancy tests in the bathroom for situations like this so Joao helped me out of bed and I took the test with him waiting for me right outside. I sat the test on my bedside table and we just waited. Joao had me sat in his lap on the edge of the bed stroking my hair but we sat in silence while I thought about whether I could actually be pregnant. It hasn't been long at all since I stopped taking my birth control and I didn't think it would happen this quickly but if it did that would be really exciting. The 5 minute timer Joao set passed rather quickly and suddenly it was time to learn if our lives will be changed forever or if I'm just really run down. 

"I'm pregnant" I said not quite believing what the test in my hand read

"I can't believe it who knew it would happen so quickly" Joao said 

"I know we haven't even been trying properly" I said 

"At least we know why you have been feeling so awful now" Joao laughed 

Ruben: 

Ruben and I have been trying for a baby for almost a year now. To start with we were trying more casually but then I started tracking my cycle and we did things properly but that didn't work either. We have tried every tip and trick and still no positive pregnancy test. There has been times that I've had symptoms like nausea and I've even been late on my period a few times but still every month I'm greeted with a negative test. It's been hard as I want nothing more than to start a family with Ruben and I just feel so useless that I can't get pregnant like every other woman I know can. 

Again this month I've had some symptoms like being extra tired and not liking food I usually love but I don't want to get my hopes up as I've been in this position before and only been let down. It's always difficult not to get a bit excited at the prospect of finally being pregnant but I don't think I can handle another disappointment at least not night now. The amount of times I have wanted to just give up have only increased especially recently, this whole process is just making me feel awful and I don't know if it is worth it especially right now. 

Ruben wants me to take a test again and I can see why but I've been putting it off to avoid the disappointment. I promised him that today I would take a test but we agreed that if it was negative that we'd take a break from trying and I wouldn't take another test for a while just to protect my mental health. Of course Ruben came back from training super excited but I just can't get myself to feel the same way. Despite that I still took the test and just gave it to Ruben as I simply don't want to see the one line I've become accustomed to seeing. 

"I-it's positive" Ruben chocked out a few minutes later 

"What?" I questioned 

"It's positive we're going to have a baby" Ruben said handing me the test so I could see for myself 

He wasn't wrong there was two clear lines on the test. Neither of us could stop the tears from flowing as Ruben picked me up and spun me round which made me feel quite sick but I couldn’t care less I was just so happy this nightmare has finally ended with the result we wanted. 

[inlovewithmyhyperfixations]

Patronus- a jegulus microfic (648 words).(inspo: @aithusarosekiller)

Regulus was worried. Worried his brother won’t show up. Worried the spell won’t work. Worried how he’s going to tell Sirius about his secret.

   He was pacing now, back and forth, over and over again; the voice in his head growing louder and louder.

    He should’ve never slipped that letter to Sirius, he was an idiot. Why should he respond? Why would he even co-

     “Reg?” A voice spoke. Regulus turned around quickly, eyes a little too wide and skin a little too pale.

  It was Sirius, he was actually here. 

Regulus let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, and felt his body relax. “Hello brother.” He said, nodding at him. Sirius looked at him, eyebrows slightly raised. “Did you really think I wouldn’t show up?” He said smoothly, walking over to Regulus and throwing an arm around his shoulder. “You’re my brother, of course I’ll come.” He said, “Besides, now you owe me something.” He added. Regulus grimaced and took his brother’s arm off him. Of course Sirius would say something like that.

“Now, what do we need to do?” He asked, and Regulus mumbled something a little too softly. “Er..what?” His brother asked, and Regulus sighed. He should have never invited him here.

“I want to learn how to cast a patronus.” He said somewhat quickly, and Sirius grinned. “You mean to say that little Reggie wants my he-“

“I’m too much of a bad person.” He cut his brother off sharply, ignoring the nickname. Sirius looked at him, a look of small sadness in his eyes. “Reggie..” he started.

“This was stupid. Just leave.” Regulus said, not looking at his brother. How could he expect him to understand this?

“Well what kind of brother would I be if I left you here?” He asked, and strides over to him. “You’re not a bad person, Reg; you just need a good memory.” Sirius explained. “You need to let it fill you up, you need to feel the happiness.” Regulus just looked at him. “A happy memory? Me? Are you-“ He started, but realized who he was talking to, and decided not to finish his sentence. He exhaled. A happy memory. This shouldn’t be too hard.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

It had been an hour. That’s how long Sirius had been in that room, trying to help Regulus with his patronus. “Reg, if you want, we can try tomor-“

“No.” Regulus cut him off, and Sirius sighed. “Reg, it doesn’t have to be an exact memory. I bet you could have a memory about a certain person. Or people, just, yknow, how they make you feel. Use that happiness and, well, make a patronus.” He said, and Regulus glared at him, but he seemed to take his advice seriously, and he exhaled, looking more focused than ever.

“Expecto Patronum!” Regulus yelled for what seemed to be the hundredth time. Sirius looked up from his arm, which was covered in tiny ink drawings, and he almost choked. 

The patronus worked, but it wasn't a cat, or even a lion.

It was a stag. A motherfucking stag. 

Sirius felt like he was going to explode. It could’ve been a coincidence, he tried to tell himself, but he knew better. There’s no way that’s been his patronus this entire time. 

His brother was in love with his best friend. And he had no idea what he was going to do.

Regulus looked at his brother, his eyes sparkling. He looked more happy than ever. “You saw that, right?!” He yelled, and Sirius was taken back to the time Regulus showed him his first spell.

“Yeah,” Sirius said weakly. But he saw his brother. For the first time in a while, he saw him. And he was happy. And if James was going to make him happy..

well, he would be a shitty brother to keep him away.

(@idkjustlemmedrownlikerab)

[eupheme]

PPCU - 2024 FIC RECS

a rec list to share and support all the gorgeous fics I read this year. please check these out and support these writers, they are all incredible! 💖

COMANDANTE VERACRUX X READER

— the bet by @/flightlessangelwings

DAVE YORK X READER

— sweet dreams by @toomanystoriessolittletime

For you it was just a very intense wet dream, clearly never thinking a candle you bought at an occult store would give you the best orgasm you had ever experienced. For Dave York, cursed to fuck whoever lit said candle, you were a willing virgin waiting for him to take you.

DIETER BRAVO X READER

— i'll try anything once by @murder-wife

When you make a joke to your boyfriend about pegging him, he takes you up on it

FRANKIE MORALES X READER

— do me yourself by @/jolapeno

a meet-cute in a hardware store? impossible, out of the question. except, that's exactly what happens. a need for screws leads you to a broad-shouldered, brown-eyed man who you're sure is about to change your day, never mind your life.

— seasons of you by @kedsandtubesocks

your first winter in the valley brings in a frosty breeze & a push towards a certain blacksmith

— wet 'n wild by @/jolapeno

“This what you wanted?” His breath fans across your cheek, your neck—teeth all but gliding over your hammering pulse. “You just wanted me to touch you, querida?”

JACK DANIELS X READER

—trussed up by @wannab-urs

The stress of being a Statesman Agent, especially one in charge of the entire New York operation, gets to Jack sometimes. When he needs release, he comes to you.

JAVIER PEÑA X READER

— bite me nicely by @jolapeno

Javier Peña, a guilt-ridden vampire, struggles with the growing intimacy between him and Bones, the woman who willingly offers her blood to keep him alive.

JOEL MILLER X READER

— a happy man by @/psychedelic-ink

when your friend sets you up on a blind date, you had no idea how impactful it would be.

— anywhere but here by @pedgito

A poor damsel in distress, saved by the most unlikely of man.

— as it was by @/psychedelic-ink

you decide to host a New Year’s party and when Joel shows up soaked to the bone thanks to the rain, you lead him to the bathroom to dry him up.

— could i have this kiss forever? by @flightlessangelwings

— don't move, honey by @jolapeno

joel doesn’t want you to move or touch until he comes back to bed.

— eleven stitches by @/almostfoxglove

After Joel comes back from patrol injured, he wakes up restrained to a bed in Jackson's clinic where you've been tasked with patching him up.

— flowering by @tinycozycomfort

Always itching to be blamed for something, just so he can try and redeem himself; some kind of penance has sunk its teeth into the soft belly of his desire, staking its hold.

— first love in the late spring air by @moonlight-prose

in the late spring air with summer setting like the sun, life with joel suddenly becomes clear.

— get you alone by @5oh5

joel wants you, but you aren't his to have.

— half asleep, half awake by @morning-star-joy

Every time Joel Miller realizes he loves you. Every time he wants to tell you, and the time he does.

— handyman by @/mrsmando

it’s the worst time of the month for you, and you’re in pain. joel hates to see it, and will do whatever he can to make you feel better.

— him. he. joel. by @/jolapeno

you don't know his name. he doesn't know yours. yet.

— hiraeth by @honeyedmiller

the most invigorating and intoxicating drug you’ve had in your life is completely forbidden… and then there’s weed.

— his sweet secret by @ozarkthedog

joel fucks you over the kitchen sink.

— how do you sleep? @thriftedtchotchkes

joel's always there to comfort you with his words and a warm bed after a nightmare, but tonight, you need a little more

— is it that sweet? by @joelscruff

you probably shouldn't let some random middle aged man on the beach take nude photos of you, right? right?

— it’s different in the sun, in the day by @/jolapeno

— juno by @lotusbxtch

Your honeymoon with Joel is off to a bang.

— knuckles deep by @/ozarkthedog

 joel fingers you for the first time in his truck.

— mornings like these by @pedrospatch

There’s a reason you’re always late to morning patrol. That reason’s name is Joel Miller.

— night breeze by @hier--soir

joel comes home to find you sleeping in his bed, wearing his clothes.

— no one can hurt you now by @guiltyasdave

You’ve been traveling through the country with Joel and Ellie. After finally arriving in the safety of Jackson, you realize how much Joel means to you.

— pretty baby by @mrsmando

working as a nanny for joel miller is about to get a whole lot more interesting.

— phonophilia by @ozarkthedog

Joel Miller loves how responsive you are.

— put your sweet lips on my lips by @/thetriumphantpanda

He won’t ever kiss you, those are the rules, but you fall in love with him anyway.

— real love, baby by @/honeyedmiller

joel has a bad day at work, but seeing you dancing in the kitchen makes it all better.

— red light by @kiwisbell

The men you keep bringing home are no good for you. It's up to your landlord Joel to protect you from heartbreak. 

— ripe by @/hier--soir

a night out with old friends helps you and joel realise what’s been missing in your relationship.

— road trip by @elflutter

car sex with joel on the way home from a weekend trip ;)

— say yes to heaven by @/psychedelic-ink

joel finally allows you to pamper him.

— seasons of you by @kedsandtubesocks

it’s your very first spring living in the valley & you’re very sure Joel Miller already wants you to leave

— so much goddamn talkin’ by @stargirlfics

Sometimes Joel has to quiet the noise in your head. Luckily he’s quite good at that.

— sundown by @bageldaddy

you're used to being alone. that changes when joel moves into the trailer across from yours.

— sweet days of summer by @ozarkthedog

you and joel sneak away for a quick fuck during a family outing.

— sweet release by @/cavillscurls

the aftermath of finishing without joel’s permission.

— take care of you by @theidiotwhowritesthings

You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?

— that pretty girlfriend by @psychedelic-ink

When your boyfriend is desperate to win back what he lost, he bets on you this time without your knowledge. And everyone knows you don't go back on your word when it comes to Joel Miller.

— the checklist by @thetriumphantpanda

Your new boyfriend Joel finds your hidden stash of porn, full of pages with their corners folded over, marking the things you like the most. Expecting him to feel bad about finding things you’re into, things you haven’t asked for from him, you’re surprised when he offers to help you tick them off.

— the duke's illicit affair by @hellishjoel

You want to tame the wild stallion that is ‘the Duke’, Joel Miller. Even if you have to lose your virtue in the process.

— the last day by @elflutter

It was the morning of his thirty-sixth birthday the last time he saw you.

— the older one by @frannyzooey

Best friends with younger one, you’ve known the Miller brothers since forever — you’ve wanted the older one for just as long.

— the way he was by @/cavillscurls

a recollection of joel miller and the man he was for you.

— trouble by @/mrsmando

joel miller hasn’t seen you for years, and what a goddamn surprise you turn out to be.

— you all the way down by @covetyou

You have a rare moment of privacy, a chance to luxuriate in bringing yourself closer and closer to a peak you’ve been teasing yourself with for hours…. Until a knock at your door snatches it all away.

— walking through fire by @macfrog

you’re neck-deep in a bout of seasonal depression. your boyfriend suggests an autumnal walk.

— what happens here, stays here by @fettuccin-e

— when his eyes open by @/jolapeno

joel wakes and admires you and the morning.

— wherever you stray, i'll follow by @cavillscurls

Joel resents the choice to allow an unmated omega into Jackson—until he’s the only one who can help her feel at home.

JOEL MILLER X READER X TESS SERVOPOULOS

— between two lungs by @/ozarkthedog

you join Joel and Tess mid fuck.

— july by @psychedelic-ink

you’re new to town and tess invites you to go camping with her and joel.

— three's a party by @/studioghibelli

joel knows you, his pretty little girlfriend, has always harbored sexual feelings for tess. he can’t help but oblige you on your birthday.

JOEL MILLER X TESS SERVOPOULOS

— wish you were here... by @always-andromeda

Joel mourns a life he wishes he could've had.

MARCUS ACACIUS X READER

— broken vows by @the-ginger-hedge-witch

When Acacius receives word that he is to be sent to the arena, he must decide where his true loyalties lie.

— prima nocta by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Tomorrow, you will marry your husband-to-be. But tonight - it belongs to his father.

MARCUS PIKE X READER

— give and take by @agentmarcuspike

marcus asks you for something he's wanted for some time...

MAXWELL LORD X READER

— stiff by @idolatrybarbie

Blackjack has the best odds of winning in any casino game. All you have to do is beat the dealer. Still, the notion doesn’t comfort Maxwell Lord. He likes to be certain. He likes to win.

MAX PHILLIPS X READER

— the prettiest by @almostfoxglove

After a restructuring at the company, Max finds himself dead—this time for good—and haunting his old duplex. Lucky for him, you move in. Now he'll do anything it takes to have you.

if you haven’t read these, you need to! and please support these amazing fics & writers by reading, reblogging & commenting! 💕

[lowaltitude]

Dial Tone 5 | Matt Rempe

- NHL, New York Rangers - x Reader

❪ FEM! ❫

───── ❝ description + disclaimer ❞ ─────

𖥻 Matthew Rempe x FEM!reader, in which a wrong number friendship is more than you'd hope for. OR he falls first, he falls hard, he's NYC's biggest enforcer.

𖥻 PART ONE HERE. PART TWO HERE. PART THREE HERE. PART FOUR HERE. 5.2k words

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

We hugged briefly, and it felt oddly natural—like we’d done this a hundred times before. When we pulled apart, he gave me a once-over, his grin turning playful.

“You know,” he said, tilting his head, “you’re a lot shorter in person.”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “You’re a giant. Everyone’s short compared to you.”

“Fair point,” he said, stepping aside to let me lead the way toward the counter. “But I think you owe me an apology for all the grief you’ve given me about my height.”

“You’ll survive,” I shot back, glancing over my shoulder at him.

We ordered our drinks, and while we waited, the conversation came easily. It was almost disarming how normal it felt, standing there with him, joking about the ridiculous fake names on the order screen (“Rempe with a P? Really?”) and arguing over who would pay (“Matt, it’s coffee, not a Michelin-star dinner”).

Once we had our drinks, we found a quiet table in the corner. I’d picked this coffee shop intentionally—low-key, tucked away from the busier streets—and it seemed to work. No one gave us a second glance, even as Matt adjusted his baseball cap like he was expecting paparazzi to burst through the door at any second.

“So,” I said, leaning back in my chair, “does this count as me giving you the grand tour of San Diego?”

He smirked. “If this is your idea of a tour, I’m disappointed.”

“Okay, Mr. Critic,” I said, raising a brow. “What do you want? Beaches? Tacos? Both?”

“Both sounds good,” he admitted, taking a sip of his drink. “But let’s not rush it. I’m enjoying the coffee and company.”

My cheeks warmed at the way his tone softened on the last word, but I kept my composure. “Well, lucky for you, I have an entire day planned.”

“Oh yeah?” His brows lifted, and I could see the faintest hint of surprise behind his confident facade. “You’ve been planning this?”

“Don’t let it go to your head,” I said, smirking. “I just figured it would be better than watching you pace around the hotel room.”

He laughed, the sound low and genuine. “Touché.”

We spent the next hour talking about everything and nothing. He told me stories about life on the road with his team—carefully avoiding any specifics that might give away his identity to anyone listening—and I shared some of my most ridiculous college anecdotes, which had him laughing so hard at one point he nearly spilled his coffee.

“Okay,” he said finally, setting his cup down. “I’ve got to admit, this is way more fun than I expected.”

“Wow, what a glowing review,” I said, feigning offense. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

He grinned. “It is. I just didn’t think hanging out in a coffee shop could feel…easy, you know?”

“Maybe it’s the company,” I suggested, my voice light but my heart hammering.

“Maybe it is,” he said, holding my gaze just a second longer than necessary.

For a moment, the noise of the coffee shop faded into the background. The banter, the jokes, the nerves—it all melted away, leaving only the quiet, unspoken connection we’d built over the months.

He broke the silence first, leaning back in his chair and flashing me a crooked smile. “So, about this grand tour…”

“Yes?”

“Think it includes tacos and a sunset?”

“Definitely,” I said, matching his grin. “But only if you can keep up.”

“Challenge accepted,” he said, standing and holding out his hand to me.

I took it without hesitation, his touch warm and grounding. As we stepped out into the sunny San Diego afternoon, I couldn’t help but feel like this was the start of something I didn’t quite have the words for yet—but whatever it was, I knew I wanted to see it through.

The day flew by in a blur of laughter and stolen moments. We grabbed tacos at a local stand he immediately declared “life-changing,” walked along the beach with our shoes in hand, and watched the sun dip below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink.

“You know,” he said as we stood at the water’s edge, his hands shoved into his pockets, “I wasn’t sure how this would go.”

“Why?” I asked, glancing up at him.

“Because meeting someone in real life…it’s different,” he admitted, his voice quieter than usual. “But this? You? It’s better than I imagined.”

His words caught me off guard, and for a moment, I couldn’t think of a clever response. So instead, I just smiled, the kind that reached my eyes.

“Same here,” I said softly.

He smiled back, his expression open and unguarded in a way that made my chest ache.

As the waves lapped at our feet, I realised something: whatever this was—whatever it could become—I was ready to take the chance.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

By the time we got back to the coffee shop parking lot where we’d left our cars, the city had gone quiet, the hum of the day giving way to the stillness of the evening. Matt leaned against his car, arms crossed, watching me with that same unreadable expression I was starting to recognize as his way of holding back.

“I guess this is it,” he said, his voice light but tinged with something deeper.

“For tonight,” I replied, clutching my keys a little tighter than necessary.

He tilted his head, a small smirk playing on his lips. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, San Diego.”

“Good,” I said before I could stop myself.

His smirk softened into a smile, the kind that made it hard to look away. “So,” he said, pushing off the car, “what’s next? Another tour? A baseball cap-and-sunglasses situation?”

I laughed, the sound more nervous than I wanted it to be. “We’ll see. Depends on how much trouble you want to cause.”

“I’m not the troublemaker here,” he teased, stepping closer. “You’re the one sneaking around with a professional hockey player.”

“Oh, please,” I shot back, rolling my eyes. “If anyone’s sneaking around, it’s you.”

“Fair,” he admitted, his grin widening. “But for the record, I like sneaking around with you.”

The weight of his words hung between us, heavier than the teasing tone they’d been delivered in. For a moment, we just stood there, the quiet of the night wrapping around us like a cocoon.

“I had fun today,” I said finally, my voice softer than I intended.

“Me too,” he replied, his gaze holding mine. “You’re pretty good at this whole real-life thing.”

“Thanks,” I said, grinning. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

We stood there for a moment longer, neither of us seeming ready to leave. Finally, he broke the silence, his voice lower than before. “Drive safe, okay?”

“You too,” I said, stepping back toward my car.

As I opened the door, he called out, “Hey.”

I turned to look at him, my heart doing that stupid fluttering thing it always seemed to do when he was around.

“This doesn’t count as our only tour, right?” he asked, one hand resting on the roof of his car.

“Not even close,” I said, smiling.

He nodded, looking satisfied. “Good.”

I slid into my car, the warmth of his gaze lingering long after I drove away.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

That night, lying in bed, I stared at my phone for what felt like forever before typing out a message.

Tuesday, September 10, 2024 Today, 11:51PM ME: Today was fun.

It took him less than a minute to reply.

MATT: It was. MATT: So…next time tacos are on me?

I smiled, shaking my head.

ME: You’ve got yourself a deal.

His response was almost immediate:

MATT: Finally I get my chance to woo you like a true gentleman

I set my phone on the nightstand, a quiet laugh escaping me as I pulled the covers up.

It was still new, still uncertain, but for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

The next day felt like it dragged on forever. My morning classes passed in a blur, and by the time my last lecture ended, I was practically buzzing with nerves. It wasn’t every day that a 6'8" hockey player casually showed up on campus to meet me.

When I stepped out of the lecture hall, Matt was already there, leaning against the bike rack like he belonged on a billboard instead of a college campus. He was wearing a dark hoodie pulled low over his head and a pair of sunglasses, the kind of look that screamed “trying not to be recognized” while also being ridiculously conspicuous.

“You know,” I said as I approached him, “if you’re trying to blend in, you’re doing a terrible job.”

He pushed his sunglasses up onto his head, revealing that lopsided grin of his. “Hey, this is my best incognito look. Don’t knock it.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the way my stomach flipped at the sight of him. “You look like you’re about to rob a convenience store.”

“Well, I’ve got to protect my reputation,” he said, falling into step beside me as we headed toward the parking lot. “Can’t have anyone finding out I’m sneaking off campus with the coolest girl here.”

I laughed, shaking my head. “Yeah, I’m sure people are lining up to take pictures of me.”

“Maybe they should be,” he shot back, his tone light but sincere enough to make my cheeks warm.

Before I could respond, a familiar voice called out behind me “Y/N! Hey, is that you?”

I turned sharply, spotting my friend Rachel walking across the quad toward us. My stomach flipped, and not in a good way. Rachel wasn’t the kind of person to let something like this slide without a million questions.

Matt glanced at me, his brow raised in silent question.

“That’s my friend,” I muttered, already feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. “We need to go.”

“Why?” he asked, though he was already moving with me as I grabbed his arm.

“Because if she sees us together, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Without thinking, I laced my fingers through his and tugged him along, my heart racing as we half-walked, half-jogged toward the parking lot.

“Y/N!” Rachel called again, her voice closer now.

“Move faster,” I hissed, glancing over my shoulder to see her gaining on us.

Matt didn’t say a word, but his hand tightened around mine, his long strides easily keeping pace with me. It wasn’t until we reached his rental car that I realized how ridiculous we must look—a frantic girl dragging a guy who could probably pick her up with one hand.

He unlocked the car with a quick press of a button, and I all but shoved him toward the driver’s side. “Get in, get in!”

He chuckled as he opened the door, sliding into the seat. “You’re surprisingly bossy when you’re in panic mode.”

“Just drive!” I said, slipping into the passenger seat and slamming the door behind me.

Rachel reached the edge of the parking lot just as Matt pulled out, her confused expression shrinking in the rearview mirror. I exhaled a long breath, leaning back against the seat.

“That,” Matt said, his tone amused, “was the most exciting escape I’ve ever had on a college campus.”

I turned to him, realizing our hands were still joined. I quickly pulled mine away, my cheeks burning. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” he said, glancing over at me with a grin. “I kind of liked it. Felt like we were in a spy movie or something.”

I groaned, covering my face with my hands. “She’s going to text me like twenty times asking who you are.”

“Just tell her I’m your overly tall, very photogenic friend.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, the tension in my chest finally easing. Despite the chaos, it was hard to feel anything but light when I was with him.

As we drove toward the movie theater, I stole a glance at him, a small smile tugging at my lips. Maybe this wasn’t how I imagined today going, but holding his hand—even for a moment—felt like the start of something I hadn’t dared to dream about before.

The drive to the movie theater was filled with a mix of banter and quiet moments that felt just as comfortable. He’d picked a smaller theater in a nearby neighborhood, one that wasn’t likely to attract too much attention.

“I thought we’d try to keep it low-key, and Google said this cinema gets an average of 12 customers a day,” he said as we pulled into the parking lot.

“Smart move,” I replied, glancing around at the unassuming building.

Matt climbed out of the SUV, and as I unbuckled my seatbelt, I watched him scramble around the front of the car to the passenger side. He paused dramatically before opening the door for me, and I raised an eyebrow.

“Chivalry’s not dead, huh?”

“Not when I’m involved,” he said with a wink.

Inside, we bought our tickets and a ridiculous amount of snacks, Matt insisting on carrying everything because “it’s the least I can do.”

“You’re single-handedly keeping this theater in business,” I teased as he precariously balanced the popcorn, candy, and drinks.

We found seats near the back of the theater, and as the lights dimmed, I couldn’t help but steal a glance at him. He was focused on the screen, a faint smile on his lips, but as if sensing my gaze, he turned his head and caught me.

He leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper. “You good?”

“Yeah,” I said, smiling. “Just…it’s still weird seeing you in real life.”

He chuckled softly. “I could say the same about you.”

The movie started, and for a while, we both fell into the story, sharing laughter and the occasional whispered comment. It felt easy, natural—like we’d done this a hundred times before.

At one point, his hand brushed mine as he reached for the popcorn. Neither of us moved away immediately, and I could feel the warmth of his skin against mine. My breath caught, but I forced myself to focus back on the screen, my pulse racing for reasons that had nothing to do with the movie.

When the credits rolled, we lingered for a moment, neither of us in a hurry to leave. But eventually, we made our way back to his car under the soft glow of the streetlights, the air between us buzzing with unspoken words.

“So,” he said as we climbed in, “on a scale of one to ten, how bad was that movie?”

I laughed. “Solid six. But the company made up for it.”

“Good save,” he said, his grin widening as he started the car.

The drive back to my apartment was quieter, the kind of silence that felt companionable rather than awkward. When he pulled up to the curb outside my building, I hesitated for a moment before unbuckling my seatbelt.

“Thanks for today,” he said, his tone softer now. “I had fun.”

“Me too,” I replied, feeling the truth of it settle in my chest.

He leaned against the steering wheel, looking at me like he wanted to say something more. Finally, he asked, “See you tomorrow?”

I nodded, my smile growing. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

As he drove away, I stood on the sidewalk for a moment, the cool night air brushing against my skin. My cheeks ached from smiling, and my heart felt a little lighter.

Whatever this was between us—whatever it might turn into—I couldn’t wait to find out.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

The next day came faster than I expected. Between classes and trying to focus on a group project, my mind kept drifting back to Matt. I hadn’t told my friends much, only that he was “someone I’d been talking to for a while.” It wasn’t a lie, but it definitely wasn’t the full truth.

When my last class ended, I stepped outside into the warm late-afternoon sun, scanning the parking lot for Matt. I spotted him leaning against the rental car, sunglasses on and arms crossed casually. He looked so effortlessly cool that I almost laughed.

“You trying to be in a movie poster or something?” I called as I approached.

He grinned, pushing the sunglasses up onto his head. “What can I say? I aim to impress.”

“Well, mission accomplished,” I said, rolling my eyes but smiling anyway.

He opened the passenger door for me—again—and I didn’t bother teasing him this time. “You’re really consistent with this chivalry thing,” I said as I climbed in.

“Hey, I have to make up for all the times I couldn’t do it over FaceTime,” he replied, shutting the door behind me before jogging around to the driver’s side.

The drive to the beach was easy, the salty air growing stronger as we got closer. He’d suggested a sunset picnic, complete with food he’d picked up from a local spot he’d “googled extensively.”

“So, how was class?” he asked as we walked down to the sand, a blanket slung over his arm and a bag of food in hand.

“Pretty boring compared to this,” I said, gesturing at the ocean stretching out before us. “You’re setting the bar pretty high, Manhattan.”

“Good. I like a challenge,” he said, spreading the blanket out in a spot with a perfect view of the water.

We sat side by side, unwrapping sandwiches and chips as the sun dipped lower in the sky. The conversation flowed easily, moving from his last game to my classes to random trivia.

“You know,” he said between bites, “I was worried this might be weird.”

“Weird how?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Like…what if we didn’t click in person the way we do over text or FaceTime?” He hesitated, then added, “But it’s not weird. It’s better.”

His words caught me off guard, and I looked down at the sandwich in my hands, suddenly hyperaware of how close we were sitting.

“I feel the same,” I admitted quietly.

For a moment, the only sound was the gentle crash of the waves. Then he turned to me, his expression soft but serious. “So, does this count as a date, or do I need to up my game?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “You tell me. You’re the one who planned it.”

“Well, if it is a date,” he said, leaning back on his hands, “I think it’s going pretty well.”

I didn’t have a clever comeback for that, so I just smiled, letting the moment settle around us. The sky darkened as we lingered on the blanket, the distant sound of seagulls fading into the rhythmic crash of waves. Neither of us seemed in a hurry to leave, the easy flow of conversation filling the space between us.

“I’m impressed,” I said, gesturing to the now-empty food containers. “You didn’t oversell this picnic thing. It was actually really good.”

Matt smirked, brushing some sand off his hands. “High praise coming from someone who almost turned me down for this.”

“Almost,” I emphasized. “But I didn’t.”

“And aren’t you glad you didn’t?”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help laughing. “You’re impossible.”

“Impossible to resist, maybe,” he shot back, his grin widening.

Before I could respond, a gust of wind whipped past us, tugging at my hair and sending a shiver down my spine. Without a word, Matt shrugged off his hoodie and held it out to me.

“Here,” he said.

“You don’t have to—”

“Just take it, San Diego,” he interrupted, his tone playful but insistent.

I gave in, slipping the hoodie over my head. It was warm and smelled faintly of his cologne, a mix of woodsy and clean that made my stomach flip. “Thanks,” I mumbled, tugging the sleeves over my hands.

“You’re welcome,” he said, leaning back again, his gaze drifting out toward the ocean.

We sat in comfortable silence for a while, the stars beginning to dot the darkening sky. I glanced over at him, his profile outlined by the soft glow of the moonlight.

“You look like you belong here,” I said without thinking.

He turned to me, one eyebrow raised. “What, on a beach?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I mean…just, here. Like this. Relaxed. Happy.”

His expression softened, and for a moment, he looked at me like I’d said something important, something that mattered.

“I think that’s because of you,” he said quietly.

My heart skipped, the weight of his words settling in a way that felt both exhilarating and terrifying.

“You don’t have to say things like that,” I said, trying to play it off, though my voice wavered slightly.

“But I mean it,” he replied, his tone steady.

The vulnerability in his gaze made it impossible to look away. For a brief, reckless moment, I considered leaning in, closing the small distance between us.

But then he broke the tension with a smirk. “Plus, if I said it’s because of the sandwiches, I’d sound like a jerk.”

I laughed, grateful for the reprieve. “You’re lucky you’re funny, Rempe.”

“I’m lucky for a lot of things,” he said, his voice softer now.

The words hung in the air, and I didn’t know what to say in response. Instead, I leaned back, letting the sound of the waves and the warmth of his hoodie wrap around me like a shield against the uncertainty of whatever this was turning into.

As the night deepened, he finally stood and offered me a hand. “Come on,” he said. “I’ll drive you home before you freeze.”

I took his hand, the touch grounding me in a way I hadn’t expected. “Thanks,” I said, letting him pull me to my feet.

“For what?”

“For tonight,” I said, meeting his gaze. “It was…perfect.”

His smile was small but genuine. “Good. Because I don’t plan on this being the last time.”

And as we walked back to the car, I realised I didn’t want it to be, either.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

The next morning, I strolled into my lecture hall, clutching a coffee and running a little later than I’d planned. The classroom buzzed with pre-class chatter, students flipping through notes or scrolling on their phones.

Sliding into my usual seat near the middle, I tugged the hood up and slouched in my chair, trying to fight the remnants of sleepiness still clinging to me. Matt’s hoodie—warm, soft, and ridiculously oversized—felt like a comforting cocoon.

“Okay, spill.”

I glanced up to see my friend plop down in the seat next to me, her eyes immediately zeroing in on my outfit.

“What?” I asked, playing innocent as I took a sip of my coffee.

“Don’t ‘what’ me,” she said, leaning closer. “That hoodie is not yours. Whose is it? And why are you wearing it like it’s a security blanket?”

I shrugged, trying to keep my expression neutral. “It’s just a friend’s. No big deal.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “A friend? Since when do you borrow hoodies from friends?”

“It was cold last night, okay?” I said, lowering my voice. “He let me borrow it. End of story.”

Her eyes sparkled with interest. “He? Oh, this just keeps getting better. Is it the same mystery guy you keep texting during literally everything? Because if it is, I need details.”

I groaned, knowing there was no way she’d let this go. “Can we not do this here? Class is about to start.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” she said, smirking. “We’ll circle back.”

As the professor started the lecture, I tried to focus on the material, but my friend’s amused glances made it nearly impossible. I could feel her scheming from two feet away.

Halfway through class, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Subtly, I glanced at the screen under the desk.

Friday, September 13, 2024 Today, 9:15am MATT: Good morning, San Diego. MATT: Hope my hoodie’s getting a better education than I ever did.

I bit back a smile, quickly typing a reply.

ME: It’s sitting through Intro to Philosophy. I think it misses the rink.

His response came almost immediately.

MATT: Pretty sure it’s thrilled to be near you.

Heat rose to my cheeks, and I tucked my phone away before my friend could notice.

After class ended, my friend caught up with me as we walked out of the building. “Okay, so who is he?” she demanded.

I sighed. “He’s…a guy I’ve been talking to for a while. It’s nothing serious.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re wearing his hoodie in public. That’s at least medium serious.”

“Fine,” I said, rolling my eyes. “He’s someone I met through mutual friends, and we’ve been hanging out. That’s all.”

“For now,” she said knowingly. “But if he’s making you smile like that, I want to meet him. Soon.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that “meeting him” might come with a whole host of complications neither of us was ready for. Instead, I just nodded, tucking my hands into the hoodie pocket and thinking about how things felt a little less complicated when it was just me and Matt.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of lectures and assignments, but my mind kept drifting back to Matt. Every time I reached into the hoodie pocket or caught its faint scent, it was like a little reminder of him, tugging at my thoughts.

By the time I was in my last class of the day—a dull elective I’d taken mostly to fill a credit—I was practically counting the minutes until it ended. That’s when my phone vibrated in my pocket.

Frowning, I glanced down at the screen. It was Matt.

Normally, he’d text, especially if he knew I was in class. My stomach tightened as I slipped out of my seat, mouthing a quick “bathroom” to the professor before ducking into the hallway to answer.

“Hey, everything okay?” I asked, ducking into the hallway.

“Not really,” he said, his voice rushed and tinged with frustration. “I’m on my way to the airport.”

“What?” I stopped in my tracks, clutching the phone tighter. “Why? I thought you were staying through the weekend.”

“I was,” he said, letting out a sharp breath. “But they’re making all the Rangers players fly back to New York ASAP. Something about scheduling changes and needing to finalize practice rink times. It’s a mess.”

My heart sank. “Matt…”

“I’m so sorry,” he cut in, his words tumbling over each other. “I didn’t want to just leave without saying anything. This wasn’t supposed to happen, San Diego. I swear, I thought we had more time.”

“It’s okay,” I said softly, though disappointment clawed at my chest.

“No, it’s not,” he insisted. “I feel like an ass. I dragged you into this, made plans, and now I’m bailing. I hate it.”

I leaned against the wall, wishing I could reach through the phone and shake him out of his guilt. “Hey, it’s not your fault. Stuff happens, right? It’s not like you’re choosing to leave.”

There was a pause, filled with the muffled sounds of an airport terminal. Then he sighed. “I just… I don’t want this to mess things up between us. This weekend was supposed to be about spending time together.”

“Matt,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, “it’s fine. Really. We’ve been friends this long, even across time zones. What’s a little more distance?”

Another pause, then a low chuckle that was more sigh than laugh. “You always know what to say, don’t you?”

“Just call me your personal pep talker,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. Then, with a wry grin, I added, “Besides, it’s Friday the 13th. What did we expect? Things to go smoothly?”

That got a real laugh out of him, warm and familiar even through the phone. “You’re probably right. Should’ve seen it coming.”

“Definitely,” I replied, my smile lingering even as my chest tightened.

“I’ll make it up to you,” he said, his tone firm now. “As soon as I can, I’ll be back. And next time, we’ll do things right.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” I replied, forcing a cheerfulness I didn’t entirely feel.

“Okay,” he said, softer now. “I’ll text you when I land. And thanks for…you know, not being mad.”

“Safe travels, Manhattan,” I said, my voice quieter.

“You too, San Diego,” he murmured before the call ended.

I stared at my phone for a long moment, the empty hallway feeling just a little colder, before heading back into class. If the past few months had taught me anything, it was how to keep moving forward—even when the person I wanted most was miles away.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

to be continued (one last time)... hehehe

[ginxyy]

Midnight on the dance floor

The music pulsed through the air, loud enough to drown out the rest of the world but still clear enough to move to. The studio’s mirrored walls reflected the colorful LED lights strung up around the room, giving the space a festive glow. Dino stood in the center, his hoodie tied around his waist and his hair slightly damp from exertion.

“Okay, your turn,” he said, pointing at you with a mischievous grin.

You shook your head, laughing. “There’s no way I’m competing with that.”

“Oh, come on,” he teased, walking over to tug you toward the middle of the room. “It’s New Year’s Eve! We have to do something memorable.”

“This is your version of memorable?” you asked, gesturing to the speaker blasting a high-energy track.

He shrugged, his grin widening. “What’s more memorable than an epic dance-off?”

You groaned, but the playful sparkle in his eyes was impossible to resist. Dino had always been like that—infectious in his energy, pulling you into his orbit whether you wanted to join or not.

“Fine,” you said, crossing your arms. “But don’t laugh at me if I trip over my own feet.”

“I would never,” he said, feigning innocence.

The music shifted to a beat you recognized, and Dino immediately started moving, his body hitting every beat with sharp precision. Watching him dance was mesmerizing; it was easy to see why he was one of the best performers you’d ever met.

“Okay, your turn!” he said, stepping back and giving you an expectant look.

You hesitated, but the encouraging smile on his face gave you just enough courage to give it a try. You started moving, feeling a little self-conscious at first, but Dino’s enthusiastic cheering made it impossible not to loosen up.

“That’s it!” he said, clapping along with the beat. “You’ve got this!”

Before you knew it, you were laughing, your body moving freely to the music as Dino joined you again. The two of you danced together, the rhythm and energy carrying you through the rest of the song.

When it finally ended, you collapsed onto the floor, breathless and laughing. Dino flopped down beside you, his grin never fading.

“You’re not bad, you know,” he said, nudging your shoulder.

“You’re just saying that,” you replied, rolling your eyes.

“No, really,” he insisted. “You’ve got rhythm. And you kept up with me, which isn’t easy.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I think you went easy on me.”

“Maybe a little,” he admitted, his smile turning softer. “But only because I didn’t want to scare you off.”

The sound of the countdown echoed faintly from the phone he’d propped up on the windowsill, signaling that midnight was near.

“Ten… Nine…”

Dino sat up, resting his arms on his knees as he looked at you. “So, be honest. Did I win the dance-off?”

“Eight… Seven…”

“Obviously not,” you teased, grinning.

“Six… Five…”

“Wow,” he said, clutching his chest dramatically. “Harsh. I thought we were friends.”

“Four… Three…”

You laughed, shaking your head. “We are friends.”

“Two… One…”

“Good,” he said, his voice suddenly quieter. “Because I’ve been wanting to do this all night.”

Before you could respond, Dino leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was both sweet and a little hesitant, as if he wasn’t entirely sure you’d kiss him back. But you did, your heart racing as his hand gently cupped your cheek.

When he pulled back, his cheeks were flushed, but his grin returned almost immediately. “Happy New Year,” he said, his voice soft but full of that familiar Dino energy.

“Happy New Year, Chan,” you replied, your cheeks warm despite the cool studio air.

He stood up, reaching down to pull you to your feet. “So, what do you say? Another round? This time, I promise I won’t go easy on you.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Fine, but don’t blame me if I leave you in the dust.”

“With moves like that? Bring it on,” he said, his grin widening as he restarted the music.

And as you danced together, laughter and energy filling the room, you couldn’t imagine a better way to start the new year.

[moriche]

WIP WEDNESDAY

It is wednesday my guys, gals and non-binary pals! First of all, a happy new year to everyone! I actually got a bit of writing done this week - hopefully I'll be able to treat everyone to a new chapter of Fear soon enough! I haven't really edited much yet, but I think I got the core of the transition scene finally done. Tagged by @sulphuricgrin @umbracirrus @skyrim-forever @hircines-hunter

And because I love seeing what everyone is up to and I like tagging folks: @thequeenofthewinter @truth-01001001-liar @pocket-vvardvark @illumiera @dei2dei @tafferling @unknownhomosapien @kat-tail @nyarevar @changelingsandothernonsense @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @oblivions-dawn @nuwanders @scorchedcandy @saltymaplesyrup @dirty-bosmer @ladytanithia @thenotebookwizard @tonakuma

If you want to get on or off Ms. Moriche's Wild Ride, please tag me or DM me and I'll make a note and add or remove you!

And also tagged are YOU! YES! YOU!

Ever since they’d left Balmora, every exchange between Veryn and Caius had been brief, each conversation carefully crafted to be as unoffensive as possible - and after five days of hiding behind a shield of measured politeness, Veryn could not stand it any longer. Caius’ quiet gaze lingered on his shoulders every night, as the spymaster silently studied the rites Veryn performed, challenging him, inviting him to speak up. “I threw my lot in with Azura,” Veryn said, wondering if this would bring him and Caius back at each others throat. “She’s supposed to care about Nerevar. After all, she cursed us Dunmer for his death. If I have to deal with her sooner or later, it might as well be sooner if she can save me from the madness of the Sixth House.” Did she curse the Three because they betrayed Nerevar? Or because they broke their oath to her? Caius nodded, too slow and too thoughtful and too unreadable. “I presume the Urshilaku Wise Woman taught you, then. Has it done you any good, so far?” How should he take Caius’ words? Were they meant as a genuine question? Were they a backhanded insult — an interpretation fueled by Veryn’s paranoia and distrust? He looked like hell and felt like it too, worn out by travel and worry, always on the move, never quite able to catch his breath. “Dagoth Ur hasn’t visited me since I started praying to Her.” Veryn traced the edge of the flat block of slate he’d used as a makeshift altar. “But apparently, sleeping better means that my body gets to catch up on my exhaustion of the past near decade. Besides, we’ll be at Mamaea tomorrow, and the nearer we get there, the worse I sleep. There’s something wrong about that place. That bone cavern I saw - the entire cave system reminds me of a long-dead corpse.” “It might be one.” Sharn had been watching them from near the campfire, her face cast aglow by the flickering flames. “It’s what people say about Necrom, the City of the Dead over on the Mainland. Mamaea might be another remnant of Vivec’s monstrous children, lost in the ash for millennia.”

[e-dubbc11]

A Christmas Wish

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, smooches, mentions of Billy’s shitty childhood and a couple of swear words.

Word Count: 2.1K-ish

Summary: You love decorating the Christmas tree but Billy doesn’t and he tries to put on a smile for you so you try to make it better by giving him a few special gifts.

A/N: Greetings and Happy 2025 to my lovely friends! Hope you are well and I apologize for being quiet lately. I’ve been sick and my entire week off from work was spent trying to recover from whatever lovely cold is going around.

I tried to put this out before Christmas but obviously that didn’t happen and I’ve also been a little bummed about friendly interaction, everyone seems to have disappeared but whatever, I digress.

Oh I’m also thinking about trimming down my tag list again just because I don’t feel like wasting anyone’s time if you’re not interested in reading my fics anymore. I dunno, I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I’m sure it will pass…

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

Some of them were very delicate.

The ornaments were old, made from very thin glass and passed down to you by your parents, that they received from THEIR parents. There were a handful that said “Baby’s First Christmas” followed by your name written in beautiful script. A pink bulb that was stuffed with “angel hair” was one of your favorites. That’s what your dad used to tell you when you were little which you thought was a cute story.

Billy had taken the ornament tote out of storage so the two of you could decorate the tree together. Mostly, he just sat back and let you decorate the tree. He wasn’t particularly fond of this time of year or any holiday.

A brass ornament with a sleeping baby and the year you were born, a red bauble with your name written in silver glitter on the side, and a bone ornament with your childhood dog’s name on it were a few more of your favorites.

Each ornament had a story like who gave it to you and what year, and if there was a reason they picked that particular one. The dates ranged from the time you were born up until recent years. Some of them were handmade from when you were a child that your father thought you might like to have along with the one he gave you last year with a picture of you and Billy inside for your first Christmas together.

Trimmed to perfection, which was obviously Billy’s doing, the tree stood impressively in front of one of the large windows in the penthouse so it could be seen by others, looking out from the tops of their buildings. The warm white lights shined against the dark green needles, giving off an enticing invitation that made it so you couldn’t help but stare at it.

The branches were full and abundant with plenty of room for all of your ornaments as shades of red, green, and gold bounced off the delicate glow of the white lights.

This time of year brought back so many fond memories for you. Billy couldn’t say the same thing. Growing up without a family, this time of year was just a reminder of all the holidays he spent in the group home, alone.

He didn’t have any ornaments from childhood to hang on the tree.

“The decorations they put up just made me more depressed.” He had told you. “The old pathetic little fake tree, it was all bullshit, and it just made me hate her even more for leaving. They called the group home Ray of Hope but there was nothing hopeful about that place.”

He had a mother, she had been out there somewhere but she didn’t want him. She never did. That shattered your heart, twisted your stomach into knots, and left you wondering how a mother could do that to her own child.

The darkness that comes with the winter months is hard enough so you thought a tree would light up that darkness, make it colorful, and maybe brighten his day just a little bit.

Billy put the tree up for you, because you wanted it and because he loved to see you smile, even though the Christmas season didn’t bring him any happy memories like it did for you.

But you were determined to make it better, he deserved it and you loved him more than anything.

**********

If he had ever wanted to talk about it, Billy would be the first one to tell you that his childhood was shit but he worked hard to make sure children in need would have a better Christmas than he ever did so he helped out collecting Toys for Tots during this time of year.

So he had a lot of long December days where he wouldn’t get home until late.

The lights in the penthouse were dimmed to create a warm and cozy environment for when Billy came home. The presents you had for him were nicely wrapped and sitting on the large coffee table near the couch, you picked up his favorite cookies from the bakery, and had a glass of his favorite bourbon ready and waiting for him.

His keys jingled in the door handle as he walked through the door.

“Another late one, sweet girl. I’m sorry.” Said Billy.

He was always so apologetic when he worked late but you understood.

On cold nights like tonight, you loved to sit in the dark, a fire blazing in the fireplace, relax in comfortable clothes, with nothing but the Christmas tree lights on, and quietly look out at the city skyline. You had been enjoying a cup of hot chocolate and reading your book when Billy walked through the door.

He walked over to the couch to give you a quick kiss and then head to his office but you stopped him.

“Can you sit for a minute, handsome? Please?” You asked.

He desperately wanted to get more work done before really calling it a night plus he liked to find any excuse he could to not be near the Christmas tree.

“Can it wait, baby? I just wanna get a little work done.” He said, firmly.

Normally, you could wait a little while until he was finished but tonight was different, this was for him, and you just really wanted to give him something special.

But you decided to put your foot down.

“No…actually, it can’t wait, Billy.” You said.

Billy hated to disappoint you or make you angry with him so he sat down on the couch, next to you. He noticed the present as he took a sip of bourbon.

“Did you get an early present from someone at work or somethin’?” He asked.

Biting down on your lower lip, you shook your head and tried to keep from smiling. You were excited to give him his presents.

“It’s for you, Billy.” You said, softly.

Billy set his glass down, looked at you and then looked at the box.

“But Christmas isn’t for two weeks, sweet girl.” He said with a slight smile.

You replied, “I know…open it.”

The wrapping paper was all white and you had tied a perfect bow with royal blue ribbon. His long fingers carefully untied the ribbon and set it aside. Billy then tore into the wrapping paper, revealing a large white box. As he removed the top, he stared at the blue tissue paper inside for a minute before digging around for the gifts underneath.

Billy first pulled out his United States Marine Corps ornament. He read the saying on the back out loud for you.

“From the Halls of Montezuma

To the shores of Tripoli

We fight our country’s battles

In the air, on land, and sea;

First to fight for right and freedom

And to keep our honor clean;

We are proud to claim the title

Of United States Marines.”

Billy looked over at you and started to say, “Baby, this is…”

But you stopped him.

“There’s more, my love. Keep going.” You said, kissing him on the cheek.

He found his Christmas stocking next. It looked like yours except his was red to go along with your green one and his name was embroidered at the top, in the same font to match yours, and a hook to hang it from, over the fireplace. The final gift in the box was a plain red bulb ornament with his name written in silver glitter on it, just like the one you received as a child.

You wanted Billy to have ornaments that were his and his alone for him to hang on the tree. You hoped it would make this time of year a little happier for him.

“Sometimes I forget that this time of year isn’t pleasant for everyone. I was hoping to make it a little better for you, Billy. So I got you ornaments that are just for you.” You said.

He replied, holding the stocking and glitter ornament in his hand, “They’re just like yours.”

“I wish I could take away your bad memories, but I can’t. So I thought maybe if you had new memories…that, um…” You trailed off with a hitch in your voice.

Billy didn’t let you finish. He just leaned in and planted a soft kiss on your lips, the sweet taste of vanilla and a little spicy from the nutmeg on his from the sips of bourbon he had a few minutes ago, and the woodsy scent of his cologne floated past your nose as you kissed him back.

The warm white lights reflected in his onyx colored eyes and his smile traveled from the curl in his lip, up to the lines around his eyes. Billy didn’t have to say how he was feeling, you could see it in his eyes, see it in his smile, and you felt it in the way he kissed you.

“These are just…I don’t…thank you, sweet girl.” Said Billy.

He looked over at the tree for the first time since he arrived home and actually smiled. Billy finally had his own ornaments to hang on the Christmas tree and he looked excited about it.

“Go ahead, baby.” You said with a warm smile.

Billy rolled his shirt sleeves up to his elbows, loosened his tie, stood up while carefully holding his ornaments, walked over to the tree and pondered about where he should place them. You knew the perfectionist in him wanted to pick out the perfect spot for them.

He found your ornament with your name written in silver glitter and he placed his on the branch next to it. Billy then found a branch near the top for his Marines ornament that he needed the stepladder to reach and he hung his stocking on the opposite end of the fireplace from where yours was. He said he had to keep it “symmetrical” which made you chuckle. There’s that perfectionist trait hard at work again.

Billy actually looked content, finding places for his ornaments and hanging his stocking on the fireplace. He finally had the experience that he didn’t get to do when he was young.

Forced to grow up faster than he should have, Billy Russo’s childhood was stolen from him by the person that was supposed to protect him and love him but she didn’t. His mother left him and never looked back so it really wasn’t a mystery of why he didn’t trust anyone, why he never got close to anyone, or why he never had a long term relationship.

You were helping him work through some of that pain and building trust so he would never have to go through any of that hurt ever again.

As he sat down, you let your head gently fall against his chest as he kissed the top of your head. You felt your eyelids getting heavy and it was a relief to close them as you pulled your legs up onto the couch. His body was a warm cradle for yours.

“I love you.” Whispered Billy, kissing the top of your head again.

With your eyes closed still, you smiled and replied, “I love you too, Billy. I just want all your Christmas wishes to come true.”

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted, my love. My only wish is I wish I didn’t have to wait so long for you.” He said in barely more than a whisper.

Tears stung the back of your eyes as your heart began to race and your fingers started to tingle. All Billy had ever wanted was to be loved and something as simple as a Christmas ornament with his name on it, you knew he’d cherish it forever because it came from someone who showed him he deserved to be loved and he was worthy of affection.

You finally understood why Billy always kept you close, why he never let you wander too far from him, and why he had a hand on you at all times. Sometimes he held on a little too tight but it was because he didn’t want what he had to go away or be taken from him like it had all those years ago.

The little toy soldier that was attached to his keys was the first thing you ever gave him and he was constantly reaching into his pocket to make sure it was there. Just like the ornaments, the toy soldier might seem insignificant or small to anyone else, but to him, it was everything.

You gave him back some of the childhood that was taken from him and you will never forget the smile that stretched across his face.

Your parents always said that it was better to give than receive…and giving Billy a happy Christmas memory allowed you to finally experience what they had been talking about.

And they were absolutely right. Making Billy Russo smile really was the best feeling in the world.

Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @idaoftheburningmind @rafaelakelley @snowkestrel @music-indie-tv @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @fictional-hooman @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @vaguekayla @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @aoi-targaryen @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @rachlovesactors @qu1etwolf @sweetserendipity65

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @ittybxttykxttytxtty @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @mrsbillyrusso @colereads @jediwizardelf @thejanecampaign @milea @folkloreofyennefer @mysweetlittledesire

If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again

[nerdishpursuits]

My partner pointed out that the show might simply be trying to tell a story, loosely, conveniently and selectively anchored in 1958. For all we know, its aim was never to impart lessons. For all we know, any conclusions rest with the audience, subject to personal interpretation and bias: a desire for a certain outcome or scene, a need for justice to prevail in a fictional world (since life itself is terribly unjust), a hunger for the heroine to triumph over the villain etc.

If what the audience desires isn’t accomplished in some way? We are left with a storyline that ''teaches'' victims to keep silent, to not seek justice (for it cannot be obtained through legal means), to not seek retribution (for it will benefit the abuser and further punish the victims), to swallow one's anguish and rage and bottle it up (if not, dire consequences await). It would also teach that a woman's partner wouldn't understand her either, calling her 'unrecognizable' (when she is the one who knows her best) and setting herself apart, tacitly claiming moral superiority rooted in disappointment (when this was never about who’s the better person, because they both are)

This episode I am on the fence about what they've done with Fina. The fact that she cannot see nor understand Marta's anguish, her ire and helplessness? That she doesn’t try to put herself in her shoes? The fact that, to our knowledge, she has not once asked Marta how she's handling everything, if she's alright? (and I'm not saying that she won’t do all of that and more, in the nearby future, that they won’t sit down and have a heart to heart where they finally lay all their cards on the table) However, concerning this moment in time? I’m shaking my head.

This is a partnership. I understand that Fina has been through hell and has almost made it back, that she's usually a 'shoot first, ask questions later' kind of a person, impulsive to a fault, wise and rational in the aftermath. However, Marta has been through hell as well, only hasn't quite made it back. She’s shown Fina the way out but Marta herself? She’s stuck in the dark, all alone and desolate. I also think there's more nuance to this than Fina being disappointed because Marta 'promised' (I’m sorry but Fina didn’t exactly make an impassioned speech to Marta about the reasons she wanted her to not seek justice. And an impassioned speech? That’s something Marta would have heeded, the way she always has. To some, Fina’s rather abrupt demands might be enough? To me? Because I said so doesn’t fly. Neither does the callous this isn’t about you, it’s about me when it’s clearly something that impacts them both) Furthermore: Fina’s “I look at you and at times I don’t recognize you”? In my opinion? By far the most inconsistent and incongruous line ever written for this pairing.

Marta’s greatest fear is being like her family. It’s what keeps her up at night, what torments her. Fina knows this and yet she says something like that. For all she knows, her comment could be taken as painting Marta with the same brush as her family: like she can’t see Marta a secas anymore but only Marta de la Reina. Hopefully not? But if I were Marta? (I’m more dramatic than her and these long-winded posts are proof of that) This would feel like you’ve stabbed me. As for Fina’s “at times”? Which times exactly? The times Fina said that an irate Marta is a Marta you don’t want to cross paths with? To me, this entire scene comes across as either :

1. A nonsensical (no one knows Marta the way Fina does and the show has continuously emphasised that Marta wears no masks with Fina)

2. Fina being forlorn that Marta didn’t share things beforehand, which doesn’t align with their MO as a couple who shares everything - which I agree with (however, Marta not sharing makes sense given she’s been wanting to give Fina room to breathe and heal and Fina herself suffering from PTSD; and let’s not forget, for all they’ve shown us, Fina never shared her entire truth with Marta either: only that it was Santiago and that she froze up in fear, unable to defend herself; no mentions of feeling filthy, no mentions of fearing Marta would not look at her the same way)

Marta has been needing an outlet, a way to vent her frustration and powerlessness against a corrupt and unjust system that punishes the victims and rewards the abusers. No one has offered a shoulder. No one has cared to listen, to really listen. No one has ever tried to understand where she’s coming from. They're all just finger-pointing and claiming moral high-ground, comparing her with her murderous brother or telling her that, if not careful, she's in danger of becoming an awful person. I find it mind-boggling, to the extreme.

At this point, I honestly need for Marta to suffer an injury. I'd like to see how Fina reacts to that. How wholesome and perfectly innocent her response would be. Would she feel the overwhelming need to punish whoever hurt the woman she loves, would she feel unbridled wrath, violent in her desire to punish, to protect? Or would she simply tell Marta to forgive and forget, to turn the other cheek? After all? The meek shall inherit.

To me it seems that as of late, there’s no room for Marta: for her feelings, for her decisions, for her desire. In the beginning, they made room for it - she could be herself with Fina. However, this episode, Fina doesn't feel like a safe space for Marta. It feels like she's casting judgement and I find it rather odd, given their trajectory (and yes, even with Fina having being assaulted, this is a nonsensical - Fina herself feared being judged and found lacking by Marta, yearned for her understanding and love: and she received both, in spades. I hope she affords Marta the same, for she deserves no less. I’m trusting we’ll see that in future episodes. If not, we can also blame it on the screenwriters not devoting more time to their healing)

Personally, I’m not a fan of Marta being villainized left and right as much as I’m not a fan of Fina as the final arbiter of truth to whom Marta must bow. This isn’t a who’s better than who situation and it never was. It’s about communicating and finding solutions together, creating a safe space for each other and growing together as both individuals and as a couple.

That being said: it feels the intent is to go scorched-earth on Marta: to isolate her, to punish her, to set up the scene for the next big curveball. And they're achieving it. Should Fina turn her back on Marta now? She'll have lost her North and it will break her. The consequence? It'll be a coin-toss as to how she'll react and how self-destructive she will become. I may be wrong, I often am, but they could be setting up the stage for them to grow apart for a while (not that they haven't already, in some ways)

I also can't believe Santiago manages to waltz into Marta's office, having the audacity to call her a degenerate. Truly, the only way out of this hellish roundabout is his death. There's no other option. Damián paying him off didn't work, Marta paying Eladio to roughen him up didn't work. Nothing seems to work when attempting to banish this vermin. Extermination remains the only way.

At least we're getting really satisfying scenes between Marta & Damián (though I hate Damián’s message to Marta that she’s to blame for not having chosen to stay put) and Marta & Tasio. I never thought I'd see these characters bonding the way they do, and it's heartwarming to watch.

Remains to be seen if the tune ends up being punishing Marta instead of punishing a rapist. Or simply showing how misogynistic society was and continues to be. How there’s no mountain Marta cannot climb at work but when it comes to the personal, and whom she loves the most, it’s a different kind of beast and one she’s not faced before (ergo, she’s out of her element, filled with rage and helplessness, disoriented in the face of discrimination and sexual abuse - her MO has always been controlled, reserved and strategic, the very opposite of this turn of events which has flung her out of orbit, burning the candle at both ends)

Of course, there might be no tune at all: just writers out to create drama, without a care in the world, without a thought to be spared. Just writers being messy, the way life tends to be, while their audience hopes it’s so much more. We might be giving them too much credit: credit for thinking things through, credit for considering the impact of their creative choices, credit for wanting to tackle social issues with respect, empathy and a desire to effect positive change. It could be all of that. It could be none of that.

[buoyantsaturn]

fics I read in 2024 that made me go crazy

wherever he is, is where I'll go (what if I said he's down below?) by Caora / @curseofdelos [T, 68,790, 4/4]

When Will ventured into the underworld for the first time, he was hoping to find his sister. He did not expect to find Nico di Angelo. After the tragic death of his sister Gracie, Will Solace hatched a plan - go to the underworld, seek an audience with Hades, and lead her out of the underworld just like Orpheus had tried before him - but his attempts were immediately waylaid by Hades’s mysterious son, Nico. What started off as a rivalry shifted into something more, and soon Will found himself dropping by the underworld every week to spend time with the boy who stole his heart - and whose heart he may have stolen back. There was just one problem: Nico couldn’t leave the underworld and Will couldn’t stay. Despite the insurmountable odds, Will was determined to make a relationship between them work - if only he could find a way to get Nico out. (Canon Divergent AU in which Nico grew up in the underworld. Solangelo star-crossed lovers. Witten for the Solangelo Week AUctober prompts light/dark/boundary.)

When The Day Bleeds by Wrish / @espritwrish [M, 85,780, 6/6, MCD]

There's not a lot left in a world ravaged by monsters, and yet Nico still somehow finds himself face to face with possibly the most infuriating boy he's ever met. -- Nico stared at the wheelchair in disdain, looking for a sign that Will was joking. “Seriously?” Will nodded, a grin forming on his face, “Could not be more serious.” Glaring, Nico couldn’t help the childish urge and flung his arms out, gesturing to the others in the room, “No one else needs one.” He challenged, irritation thoroughly sparked in his chest. “No one else needed to be handcuffed to a gurney.” Will deadpanned, eyes still sparkling with mirth, “Chair, now. Doctor’s orders.” -- How the hell had his life ended up this way?

Sour by Skitty_chii / @icravestrawberryflavoureddeath [T, 91,646, 14/14]

(part one of the Tasteless series) “Hey, I’m a gay man. The only things that scare me are God and the government, I just don’t understand all of that,” he said as he gestured to Piper. She rolled her eyes, but was still smiling. “But hey, at least you can listen to Olivia Rodrigo’s album and really feel it now.” Piper let out the loudest laugh she could, her entire body was shaking as she doubled over. Nico couldn’t help but copy her. They had joked about her and Jason breaking up just so she could listen to the album to the fullest about a month ago, but now that joke was a bit too real. “Oh, god. You’re fucking right.” Nico decided that he could keep making jokes as it seemed like Piper was starting to feel a bit better. “God, I wish I had someone to break up with to listen to it. We could go through this together,” he joked, but Piper just grinned and raised a brow. “Why don’t you just ask someone to date you and then break up.” “What the fuck?” “Seriously,” she started, “I think that would be so fucking funny.” “Who would I even ask to do that?” “Why not Will?”

Olympus Detective Agency, Inc. by hello_blue_moon / @hello-bluemoon [T, 44,496, 12/12]

“Will saved the contact to his phone, then swiped back to the message and stared at the words written there. P. Jackson & A. Chase: Olympus Detective Agency. And that was how it began.” Or: the modern detective AU that nobody asked for.

Falling With You by emi @thelordofshrimp [T, 1,635]

They’d watched their way through genre after genre, with the notable exception of any movies strictly about romance. Will’s third suggestion of the Princessbride, though it was technically a love story, had made the list because the action outweighed the “kissing parts.” It hadn't been a spoken decision, but when Will scrolled through online lists of movies, he’d read all the titles, except for the rom-coms. Nico never pointed it out.

Delilah by daniearnest / @softhearted-dani [M, 6,585]

“I don’t understand,” Jason said, swirling his straw in his milkshake without looking. “What’s so hard to understand about he isn’t my boyfriend?”

love is like ghosts (few have felt it but everybody talks) by Caora / @curseofdelos [T, 38,447]

Nico had a timer on his forearm that counted down to the moment he met his soulmate. It did not, however, tell him what he was supposed to do once he met them. Nico di Angelo hated the concept of soulmates. He wanted to choose who he spent his life with, and he certainly didn’t trust a stranger not to break his heart. True love was something that happened to other people; it did not happen to him. If given the choice, Nico would have gone the rest of his life without ever meeting his soulmate, but no, the universe just had to pair him with Will Solace, a hopeless romantic he had nothing in common with and who thought Nico’s approach to soulmates was cynical and pessimistic. It couldn’t work. It shouldn’t work… …but Fate had a plan for him, and Nico was about to learn that falling in love was a long slow descent. (Solangelo soulmate AU. Written for Solangelo Week Day 4 - AU.)

put your hand in mine through space and time by myileo / @onion-dishwasher [T, 8,671]

It was an hourglass. Simple, practical, portable. As tall as his hand was long. Fine golden grains trickled down. Whatever length of time it counted was halfway passed. “What’s it counting down to?” Will asked. “The end of the world?” Nico’s hold on it was gentle, as if he were holding a glass flower that would shatter from the smallest breeze. “Something like that.” . In which Will meets Nico in every universe.

Salvage by MuffinLance / @muffinlance [T, 127,145, 20/20]

Mid-Season-One Zuko is held for ransom by Chief Hakoda. Ozai's replies to the Water Tribe's demands are A+ Parenting. Hakoda is… deeply concerned, for this son that isn't his, and who might be safer among enemies than with his own father.

good old-fashioned lover boy by brainrot247 [G, 2,338]

“I swear to the gods if you touch that door handle, Solace,” Nico threatened, opening his own door and climbing out quickly. Kayla and Will watched Nico round the front of the car before Will turned to look at her, humor dancing in his eyes. “Watch,” he said. He reached for the door handle and cracked open the door just as Nico made it to his side. Without pausing, Nico threw his hand against the door and shut it again. ____________________ or, five things nico is a little romantic about

[sequinsmile-x]

Kallos

[καλός, ˈkal.los] Origin: Greek, Noun

good, beautiful, noble.

Whenever she had thought of her wedding dress when she was growing up, she never considered that she’d wear something she’d bought off the rack.

AKA - the one in which Emily and Aaron elope.

A one shot in my series of unrelated kissing prompt fics

-x-

Hi besties,

What better way to start the New Year than with a very fluffy, soft thing where they just love each other a whole lot?

This is one of the prompts from my kissing prompt series, and fulfils the 'forever mine kisses' prompt.

As always, please let me know what you think!

-x-

Warnings: None, so sweet I recommend flossing afterwards to prevent cavities.

Words: 3.1k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily hums to herself as she steps back to look at her reflection in the mirror, a soft nursery rhyme she never remembered the name of filling the air around her as she inspects her outfit. She runs her hands over the satin material of her dress, her smile as soft as the material flowing over her skin. She’d never thought too much about her wedding dress growing up. She always thought that she’d have little choice in it, that she’d have little choice in anything to do with her wedding. She assumed she’d marry someone rich, whom her parents approved of, and never escape the society she’d never quite belonged in. 

Whenever she had thought of her wedding dress when she was growing up, she never considered that she’d wear something she’d bought off the rack. The thought of her mother’s reaction to it when she finds out, when she sees pictures of her daughter in a simple white dress instead of a made-to-measure designer gown, makes her smile and she’s sure Aaron would joke that’s part of the reason she’d insisted they elope in the first place. 

The worst part was, he wasn’t entirely wrong, but it wasn’t the only reason. 

A crackle comes over the baby monitor, followed by Aaron’s voice, the soft tone he used for her and the kids washing over her as she listens to him speak to their daughter. He’d insisted on getting Alice ready this morning, his smile soft as he kissed her cheek and said he’d give her time to get ready herself as he fed and dressed their 8-month-old. 

“You look so beautiful princess,” he says, and she can picture his smile as he looks at Alice, “Usually you tie top place with Mommy for the most beautiful girl in the world, but today she might just have you beat, she deserves to be the most beautiful in the world on her wedding day.” 

Emily presses her lips together to suppress a smile, her joy almost overwhelming as her cheeks ache with it. Aaron had proposed just before they found out she was pregnant, and she’d been insistent that she didn’t want to be a pregnant bride. Planning a wedding was stressful, especially if her mother tried to take control of most of it like Emily was sure she would, so she didn’t want to put herself through it, not when her pregnancy was already high risk because of her age. Then Alice was born, and she’d never been happier, and time slipped through her fingers like sand. She couldn’t believe her little girl was 8 months old already, that she was growing every day, her personality forming in front of her eyes, and somehow it had almost been two years since Aaron had proposed and they were nowhere closer to getting married. 

She’s the one who suggested going to city hall, just the two of them and the kids, and more than once Aaron had asked if she was sure. It made her love him even more, if that was possible because she knew he would do whatever she wanted. That he’d have the big, over-the-top, wedding she always thought she’d have growing up if that’s what she wanted, or that he’d be happy with something smaller and intimate. She told him one night recently when they were snuggled up in bed, that all she wanted was to be his wife. It seemed to be the final assurance he needed that she was serious about eloping. 

She knew their friends would struggle with their decision, and her mother would too, so they decided to keep it a secret until the deed was done - putting her lifelong rule of ‘it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission’ to good use.

A knock on the bedroom door pulls her attention away from her reflection, and it’s followed by Aaron’s voice.

“Can we come in?” 

She smoothes her hands down the material of her dress again and turns to the door, “Come in.” 

He pauses when he walks in, his hold on Alice in his arms tightening as he looks at Emily, his breath caught in his chest as he takes her in. She was beautiful all the time, her smile something that had always drawn him in, but somehow she always managed to outdo herself. The first time they woke up together and he’d seen her in amongst his sheets, her hair curled from their shared shower and her skin bare, she was the most beautiful he’d ever seen her. When he proposed, the smile on her face was bright and he saw his future shining in it and she was the most beautiful he’d ever seen her. When she had Alice, when he watched her as she watched their little girl, she’d never been more beautiful. All tired eyes and tear streaked cheeks as she listed off all the features on their daughter’s face as if she wasn’t where Alice got them from. 

Right now, as she stood in their bedroom, her hands nervously straightening out the dress she’d marry him, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as they stare at each other, he knew he’d never seen her more beautiful. 

“Em…” he chokes out, clearing his throat as he trips over her name, “You look…”

“You too.” She takes pity on him and steps forward, straightening out his tie needlessly, letting the red silk of it rasp between her finger and thumb. He’d asked her if she wanted him to buy a tux or a new suit for the wedding, but she’d said no, that she wanted to marry him in one of the suits he’d worn when she fell in love with him. Alice coos, reaching out for Emily, who takes her gladly, kissing her temple as she settles her on her hip, “You look beautiful, sweet girl,” she says, smiling to herself as she looks at the rose-covered dress Aaron had put her in. Her smile turns into a smirk as she looks up at her husband, “Like the second most beautiful girl in the world.” 

Aaron freezes, his eyes wide as he looks over at the baby monitor, “You heard that huh?” 

She hums and kisses his cheek, “I did,” she replies, stamping her lips against his, “Although I think she’s the prettiest girl in the whole world,” she tickles Alice’s belly, smiling when it draws a giggle out of her, “But I did make her so I might be biased.” 

“Like I said, usually you’re tied for first place, but it will be her turn when it’s her wedding day.” 

She groans at the thought, holding Alice a little closer as she kisses the top of her head, “Please, I can barely think of her being old enough to walk by herself, let's not marry her off just yet.” 

He smiles knowingly, but is cut off from saying anything as the door flies open and Jack runs into the room, his tie lopsided and grin wide. 

“Mom, you look so pretty!” he exclaims, reaching out for Alice’s hand. His smile becomes impossibly wider as she wraps her hand around his finger. “You too, Lissy.” 

Watching Jack become a big brother had been one of her favourite things since Alice had been born. He’d been excited from the start, even more so when they found out they were having a girl, and he’d been fascinated by every little thing about his little sister. He helped in whatever way he could, and was impatiently waiting for her to be old enough to play ‘properly’ with him. Emily on the other hand wanted time to slow down a little so she could enjoy this time with her children when they still needed her as much as they did, forever worried about a day when they’d try and run away from her instead of towards her. 

“And what about me?” Aaron asks, making a point of straightening out his cuffs, and Jack laughs, leaning against Emily’s side as she wraps an arm around him. 

“You’re very pretty too, Dad,” Jack says, and Emily smiles and nods, running her fingers through his hair. 

“He really is isn’t he? We all are,” she says, winking at her soon to be husband as he lovingly rolls his eyes at her, “We should get going.” 

Jack nods, his excitement palpable, the room filling with it until it sneaks under all of their skin, “Yes, we have to go get married.” 

Emily chuckles and smiles at Aaron, “You heard him, let's go get married.”

___

She can’t help but smile as Jack sighs and rests his head on her shoulder as if he had the weight of the world on his. She turns her head to kiss his temple and wraps her arm around him, You okay, kiddo?” 

“Getting married is more boring than I thought it would be.” 

“It’s our turn next,” she replies as she runs her fingers through his hair, and she turns to exchange a smile with Aaron as he paces back and forth with a fussy Alice in his arms, “Do you want me to take her?” 

Aaron shakes his head and adjusts his hold on Alice, making sure she’s comfortable on his hip, “We’re okay, aren’t we princess?” 

“Applicants Hotchner and Prentiss.” 

Jack jumps up the moment he hears the judge’s voice, “That’s us!” 

Emily stands up too, her hand on Jack’s shoulder as she stops him from going into the judge's chambers, “Is it okay if the kids come in?” 

“Of course,” she replies and she smiles at Jack, “I’m Judge Davis, what’s your name?” 

“Jack!”

“And is it your mommy and daddy who are getting married today?” Judge Davis asks, and Jack nods enthusiastically. 

Even though Jack had called her Mom for a while now, Emily still wasn’t used to it. There were times when it would take her breath away, when her chest would stutter because she was his mom. It felt like an honour in an entirely different way from how it felt to be Alice’s mom. She hadn’t raised him since he was a tiny little thing, she hadn’t felt him kick and turn inside of her. She’d earned his love and trust as a friend first and she would have happily been his Emmy for the rest of her life, but being his mom was more than she could have ever hoped for. 

“Yes,” Jack replies, he turns and points at Alice, who Aaron had just strapped back into her stroller, “And that’s my little sister Alice.” 

Judge Davis exchanges a smile with Aaron and Emily as she leads them into her chambers and then turns her attention back to the little boy, “Well you’ve got a really important job of looking after Alice whilst I help Mom and Dad get married, okay?” 

He nods enthusiastically and stands next to Alice’s stroller. She grunts in frustration when Aaron steps away and Jack tries to shush her, “Lissy, we’ve got to be quiet whilst Mom and Dad get married.” 

“Here,” Aaron says, pulling his phone from his pocket and handing it to the little girl, “This should keep her distracted.” 

Emily chuckles and raises her eyebrow at him as he walks over to her, “What happened to the no screen time apart from educational cartoons rule?” 

He winks at her and reaches for her hand, “If it keeps her quiet for a few minutes I think it’s worth breaking the rule this once.” 

“Are you two ready?” Judge Davis asks and they take a moment to look at each other. For a moment, it’s just the two of them, the rest of the world slowing down around them as Aaron squeezes her hand, a look in his eyes that tells her that if she’d changed her mind, if she really wanted a wedding with all their friends and family that they could leave now and he wouldn’t mind. It makes her fall in love with him all over again, her cheeks warm and skin fizzing with it as she squeezes his hand back, her thumb skimming over the finger she was about to slip a ring onto. 

“We’re ready.” 

Aaron hands Judge Davis the paperwork, and despite the almost clinical nature of it all, the way Judge Davis looks over their driving licenses and marriage license and passes them back, the way she double checks their middle names as she says their names whilst she has them repeat lines back at her, it’s romantic. It’s them and their love for each other, and the sound of their children in the background, and neither one of them could imagine doing this in any other way. 

They exchange their rings and vow and a kiss, and when they pull back to press their foreheads together it’s like nothing and everything has changed all at once. It’s a kiss they’d exchanged countless times. Soft and quick and the kiss they’d usually use to say goodbye or hello. But it’s also a promise of forever. A way for them to claim that they belonged to each other for the rest of their lives, forever each other’s as companions in love and life. 

Emily is brought back to earth by Judge Davis stamping their paperwork, the sound of it breaking the small bubble they’d formed in her office. She hands the paperwork over, her smile kind, with an efficiency to it that reminds them she has an appointment after them.

“I need you to sign these,” she says, handing each of them a pen. Emily holds Aaron’s right hand in her left, finding herself more grateful than ever that he’s left-handed as they sign the paperwork without breaking away from each other, the thought of not holding his hand almost a ridiculous notion. “According to the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, I now declare you husband and wife.”

Emily leans in to kiss him, but it’s more of a smile pressed against another smile as Aaron cups the back of her head, both of them keen for this moment to last as long as possible. 

“Are they married now?” Jack asks from the corner of the room, and all three adults laugh and nod.

“Yes, Jack,” Emily replies, squeezing her husband’s hand, “We’re married.” 

___

Emily tilts her head downwards to double check Alice is asleep against her, and she smiles at the sight of her. She takes it all in, and makes a point of remembering every single thing about her because she knows she’ll carry on growing far too quickly. She looks at her closed eyes and long lashes casting shadows over her cheeks, her cheek squished against her chest and her open mouth. The slope of her nose that she’d never seen the beauty in until she saw it on her daughter’s face. 

She lays Alice down in her crib, making sure to kiss her head first, whispering words of love in every language she knew against her skin. She leaves the nursery as quietly as she can, and makes sure to step over the creaky floorboard outside Jack’s room so she doesn’t wake him up. She loved her children, she really did, but she wanted some time alone with her husband, wanted to sit on the couch and share a glass of wine with him and just be them for a couple of hours. Aaron and Emily the newlyweds, not Aaron and Emily the mom and dad. 

She finds him on the couch, a glass of wine on the coffee table in front of him. She leans over the back of the couch and kisses his cheek, smiling as he turns to look at her. She’d changed since she took Alice upstairs to bed, she was wearing a t-shirt of his and a pair of leggings. She smiles as he squeezes her thigh when she sits next to him and she curls into his side, her hand cupping his head as she runs her fingers through his hair.

“I know it’s not exactly what you’d expect your wife to wear on your wedding night-”

“No,” he says, squeezing her thigh again as he leans in to kiss her, “You’re beautiful. More beautiful than ever.” 

She chuckles, “You always say that.” 

“And I’m always right,” he leans in to kiss her again, “I have to show you something.” 

She hums curiously as he picks up his phone and unlocks it, “You haven’t booked a vacation or something have you?” 

“Not yet,” he replies, opening up his photo gallery on his phone, “I was looking at the photos the receptionist took of us all, and I found this.” 

He hands his phone over to her and starts to play a video. She smiles and huffs out a laugh as she’s met with her daughter’s face, a close up of Alice as she babbles to herself, her grip on the phone tight as now and again her thumb blocks the camera. Emily notices the wallpaper from Judge Davis’s office.  

“What’s this?” She asks, and Aaron loops his arm around her shoulder, “This is from today.” 

“She must have accidentally started filming it when she had my phone earlier,” he says, kissing her temple, “She filmed the whole ceremony.” 

Emily gasps, the sound catching in her chest somewhere between a sob and a laugh and she reaches out to touch Alice’s face on the screen, her four tiny teeth visible as she laughs. Jack leans in, his face visible for a second before he whispers to Alice.

“Mommy and Daddy are getting married,” he says, “That means we’ll all be together forever.” 

She blows out a slow breath and half buries her face in Aaron’s shoulder, her tears making his shirt stick to his skin, “They really are beautiful aren’t they.” 

He hums and kisses the top of her head, “They really are,” he replies, “Just like you.” 

She tilts her head up to look at him and she cups his cheek, something that makes him smile with the press of both of her rings against his skin, and she kisses him. They lose themselves in it for a moment, in the simple beauty of it. 

“And you,” she says as she pulls back, kissing him again before she looks at the video again, “You’re beautiful too,” the video comes to a stop and she presses play again, giggling as it loops and she wipes tears from her cheeks as she listens to Jack talk quietly to Alice as they watch them watch them get married, “Do you think if we showed the team and my mom this video the cuteness will undo any anger over us eloping?” 

He laughs and then kisses her cheek as he tightens his hold on her, “Not a chance sweetheart. Not a chance.” 

[bri-cheeses]

| Rosekiller oneshot | Word count: 1,172 | Happy New Year’s! | I’m really happy with this one, even if it was written at 2 am and probably has more mistakes in it than my fics usually do lol :) |

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Hufflepuff parties were notoriously loud and boisterous, and there was never any fear of having no one to talk to for how friendly everyone was. Gryffindor parties were bold and exciting and pushed just past the lines of what was allowed, fast-paced and always the talk of the school the following day. Ravenclaw parties were practically nonexistent, but Evan was sure that they had their moments, as rare as they might be.

But not a single one of them could compare with the party that Slytherin put on every single year to celebrate New Year’s. Slytherin had, without a doubt, the largest common room out of all four houses, made all the bigger by the removal of excess chairs and furniture. Chandeliers had been spelled by seventh years to hang above the crowd and cast everything in a glittering glow, and even the giant windows looking out into the lake had been charmed to show a beautiful night sky. It was rumored that at midnight, they would show. massive display of fireworks, though Evan wasn’t entirely sure how true that rumor was.

“Evan,” sang a smiley Barty, putting a strange and yet familiar feeling in Evan’s stomach when Barty swayed closer to where he was standing. “Been enjoying the champagne, then?”

He nodded towards Evan’s hand, where he held an almost empty glass that had previously been filled by a generous, if not shady, seventh year who had supplied the entire guest list with a bowl of champagne and spiked punch. Evan wasn’t much of a sucker for the sticky sweetness of the punch, but he had always enjoyed his fair bit of champagne at family galas.

“You know it,” he responded easily, and downed the small amount still in his glass in one gulp. “Never mind that, how are you enjoying the party?”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Barty brushed off quickly. “But look, I have a proposition for you.” He paused, only continuing at Evan’s raised brow. “It’s just, Cas has Marlene, and Pandora’s got Lily, and even Reg has Potter to kiss at midnight, and that leaves us two alone and miserable. So why don’t we just… kiss each other?”

It was said oddly, halting at some points and rushing at others, and though he could still make out what Barty was saying, it was hard to comprehend.

“You want to kiss me… at midnight? So you won’t be lonely?”

“That’s the gist of it, yeah,” Barty said, biting at his lip and rocking on his heels. “I mean, if you’d rather not, that’s fine too, I just thought—”

“No, wait, give me a second to think first.”

Barty’s mouth shut with a snap, giving Evan some much needed time to consider.

The easy thing to do would be to say yes and be done with it. Because hadn’t he always wanted to kiss Barty, to know what his lips felt like against his own? Wasn’t he dying to know what he was missing out on, and wasn’t this the perfect opportunity to finally find out?

The easy thing to do would certainly be to say yes.

But Evan’s blood was singing in his veins, and he felt bold as he stood there with the empty champagne glass in his hands, liquid bravery holding true to its name.

“Come up with a better reason.” The words fell off his tongue with a strange ease, delightful and terrifying all at once. He even laughed at Barty’s bewildered expression, that’s how free he was.

Forget the champagne, this newfound boldness was his chosen drink for tonight.

“I don’t understand,” said Barty.

Evan didn’t hesitate. “If you want me to kiss you, then change your reason for having me do it. Me being your only option isn’t a very compelling argument.”

Barty stared at him. Evan stared back. This was it, this was them hurtling towards a line that couldn’t be uncrossed. It was the type of thing that would typically have Evan running for the nearest exit, but instead he stood there, unrelenting while he let the tension build and Barty reach his own private realization. It took a beat, but because Evan was looking so intently at Barty’s eyes—he loved Barty’s eyes, he would always love those eyes—that he saw the idea hit them, widening slightly as it happened.

“Yes?” Evan prompted, seeing that Barty wasn’t eager to make the first move.

His voice must’ve spooked him, somehow, because Barty looked down at his toes shyly.

“I think—” he began, then lowered his voice to an unintelligible mumble.

“Sorry, didn’t quite catch that,” said Evan. He took a daring step into Barty’s space, so close that there was hardly enough room for Evan’s champagne glass in between their two bodies. Every last nerve Evan possessed lit up at their closeness.

Barty’s eyes were startlingly fierce, determination glinting in their green depths when he whipped his head up in response to Evan’s movement, the boldness in the gesture a stark contrast from the timidness from before.

“I said,” Barty enunciated, grabbing Evans’s glass and shoving it into some poor passerby’s hand, “kiss me for the sake of kissing me, kiss me because you want to, kiss me because I want to kiss you back.”

Evan didn’t hear the noise of protest from the recipient of the champagne glass, he didn’t hear the countdown from ten begin to start, and he sure didn’t hear Pandora’s squeal of excitement or Dorcas’s and Regulus’s amused snorts as they took in their two friends.

All he heard was Barty’s quiet exhale as he stared at him, eyes wide and mouth parted in anticipation of Evan’s response.

“Now that,” said Evan, “is a much better reason.”

His smile was so wide it hurt, but it didn’t prevent him from curling an arm around Barty’s waist and pulling him closer and closer and closer yet, until they were pressed together.

He and Barty had clicked instantly the first time they met. They had simply gotten each other with an ease previously unbeknownst to either of them, and it had been addicting. And standing there together, years later, Evan was confident that they had never understood each other better than they did right then.

“Happy New Year’s,” he whispered as the countdown hit zero.

“Happy New Year’s, Ev,” Barty whispered back.

The way their lips met was surprisingly soft for something so inevitabile. Barty’s lips against his own felt right, like they were made to fit there and there only, like he and Evan were a matching set that were never meant to be sold apart. It was soft and somewhat tentative, but it was absolutely perfect.

It felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, it felt like looking down at the ocean below, it felt like jumping. It was everything and nothing all at once, and Evan only wanted more.

It felt, he thought, as fireworks lit up the false night sky just outside the window, like a new beginning.

Cheers to a new year, he supposed.

-

[entropyvoid]

3.X Speculation and maybe some wishful thinking based on a buncha leaks from the r/honkaistarail_leaks subreddit. So take it with a grain of salt, or maybe a whole shaker, because leaks are by nature questionable, subject to change, and at times simply bullshit. My speculations kind of assume many of the leaks I’ve seen (and linked) to be accurate. If you don’t wanna see Amphoreus leaks or spoilers, scroll on past.

Anyway with that being said I think we might be getting Abundance Dan Heng

So, first off, we’ve been getting some leaks about Dan Heng getting a new form on Amphoreus in 3.X, and that the Chrysos Heir with the Earth coreflame at the very least looks a lot like our boy Daniel. It’s Dan Heng dude, we’re getting earth Dan Heng. Off the bat, it feels a little out of left field, especially since he’s kinda got established powers that are way different from any earth-based abilities, but this sorta lead me down a path of trying to piece together or guess more details.

So like, each Chrysos Heir is essentially a hero that holds the power of a corresponding titan, (full chart of what we know about all of them here,) and though there have been some name changes and tweaks for our brand new shiny space fantasy setting, each one is more of less based off of a titan from Greek mythology. So Georios, the Earth titan, from whom Dan Heng is (probably) getting these cool new powers, is more or less a version of Gaia. A.k.a Mother Earth.

In the silhouette that likely represents DH’s new form, all we can really make out is what looks to be an armored/scaled/clawed(?) hand and an orange glow from the flame he’s holding - probably his coreflame. Each of these mystery silhouettes has a particular color, and earth/geo in hoyo games in the past has always been orange, so to many fans that alone kind of suggests that Earth DH is gonna represent rocks more than plant life, especially since hoyo in the past has drawn a pretty hard separation between the two for characters, with geo and dendro in Genshin, and a lotta people are drawing comparisons between Dan Heng and Zhongli, because like. Something something pretty Chinese earth-flavored dragon man. But I think people forget that Star Rail isn’t Genshin, it doesn’t operate on the same elemental system or play by the same rules, and since Gaia represents both the land itself and all the nature that grows on it, I’d like to throw out the possibility that Georios will be the same way and that Dan Heng’s rocking both rocks and plants. It would also fit in really nicely with his other forms - in his regular 4 star form he’s got wind and maple leaves, and Imbibitor Lunae’s got water and lotuses. He’s kind of got a very nature-y pattern going on already, so that would fit him a lot better than just “oh he’s rock flavored now” would by itself.

To take it a lil further, my speculations on what his path might end up being is based on this count of how many characters we’re getting for each path and what we already know about upcoming characters and their paths:

We can probably safely cross off Destruction and Hunt, since Dan Heng already has versions for each of those, and I highly doubt we’re getting any repeat paths for the same characters, barring an upgrade from 4 to 5 star like Herta, which could technically happen with Hunt, but again, kinda doubt that’s the direction Dan Heng’s being taken since Erudition is very much Herta’s whole entire deal, being an emanator and all, and Dan Heng just ain’t like that. Harmony as well, because Tribbie has already spent that one singular slot (wild after there were so many in Penacony,) and Remembrance, since our roster for that seems to be filled up with Harmony Trailblazer, Aglaea, Castorice, and very likely March. Erudition has one slot taken up by Herta right off the bat, with whisperings of Screwllum possibly finally coming out in later 3.X versions, who was leaked to be Imaginary Erudition long ago, and though it could have been changed in that time, I’m just gonna assume he’ll be that until stated otherwise.

That leaves Nihility, Abundance, Preservation as possible paths for our shiny new Dan Heng. And if I’m placing my bets on one it particular, it’s gotta be Abundance, because:

There’s the whole situation with his previous incarnation/predecessor, Dan Feng’s memories still floating vaguely around in Dan Heng’s head due to the preceptors messing with his reincarnation.

Dan Feng knew healing magic, but Dan Heng doesn’t presently have that ability/know how to pull that off

He’s getting these powers on a planet heavily influenced by the Path of Remembrance, so there’s a strong possibility that something or someone there could more easily draw forth Dan Feng’s memories, and Dan Heng talk about facing his predecessor’s actions head on and not running from them, right around that time he stabbed that one guy. If given the chance to regain Dan Feng’s memories more clearly, I could easily see Dan Heng taking it if it means unraveling what exactly his actions and motives, which would make moving forward and possibly trying to right the aftermath of them a lot easier and more doable.

Doing so could very possibly bring back that healing ability in the process

Abundance would fit with the possible “mother nature”-esque theme in general, and the potential mother nature theme also kinda ties into that whole quest Dan Feng was secretly on to try and find ways to make new Vidyadhara since they can’t reproduce and have a dwindling population.

Maybe help from whatever the hell Georios is + memory recovery will actually give Dan Heng the tools he needs to not just try to make up for Dan Feng’s fuck-ups but also figure out a solution to his species’ infertility without accidentally causing a massacre this time? Idk man it kinda depends on what Dan Heng decides to do, exactly.

It would be neat

[brummiereader]

@mischievouslittlecreature I love a jealous Tommy 😍!

I honestly wana bash their heads together sometimes 🤦🏼‍♀️. They're both constantly worrying almost the same exact things about the other. Whether the other will leave them, if the other deserves someone else, that they're too much of a headache for the other...arghhh 😭! Their characteristics and insecurities are so intertwined that I swear they're the same person 😂.

Ada pressed her red-painted lips together, trying–and failing–to suppress a smile. “That little crush he has on her is quite sweet.” oh Ada, don't you know your brother. This was possibly the worst thing you could have said to him 🤦🏼‍♀️. Or perhaps it was on purpose? Siblings trying to annoy one another 🤭? I was not shocked by his reaction, and the sudden spiralling he left himself quickly fall into. Like I said, he may be better at hiding it than Lucy, but this man had major fears when it comes to the mere idea of losing Lucy to someone else.

"I let him go yesterday.” ahh yes, classic Tommy 👌🏼. Instead of talking about the issue that's bothering him, get rid of It entirely instead. I think the way Lucy reacted is the first time I've ever seen her properly snap at him 🤔. He deserved it though. He completely blindsided her with this move!

“Adam doesn’t have a crush on me.” ok so, Tommy was oblivious to Adams crush and so was Lucy 🤦🏼‍♀️😂. These two really are in their own little bubble! We've already seen how they are in a room full of people. They can't keep their eyes and thoughts off each other. So actually, their mutual obliviousness doesn't surprise me!

She gaped at him. “Do I need to remind you that your wife was working as your secretary when you impregnated her?” 💅🏼, well she's not, not right, Tommy.

“Yeah, well, I’m not doing shit that’s leading him on either.” Another justified blow and reality check he needed to hear.

"And I am. I am yours.” Her lips trembled and she pressed them tightly together, tilting her head ever so slightly. “But you’re not mine.” ahhh, this was such a good line but so heartbreaking to read 😭. If Lizzie was a half decent person in this AU she would have refused this arrangement. She knows how much these two love each other, and how much heartbreak this would cause everyone involved. But alas, she's not 😤.

I gotta admit, I was a little scared when Adam suddenly appeared. I thought Tommy would come barging through at any minute 😳. But what I didn't except was how respectful and understanding he was. What a sweetheart 🥰. Of course he picked up on the loving glances Tommy gives Lucy. Everyone else may have blinkers on when it comes to their relationship, but sweet Adam clearly knows love when he sees it ❤️.

Tommy was seated on the crimson colored velvet couch. His suit jacket off and tossed haphazardly over the back of a chair, head in his hands and an over half drunk bottle of whiskey on the table in front of him. Drowning in his sorrows 🙄😂. He's like a cat that's been left out in the rain 🤭. I'm relieved he gave Adam back his job and they managed to move past Tommy's jealous little hiccup. But I feel like this little scare may have only increased his protectiveness over her 😅.

He shook his head despite blushing against her hands. “‘M big scary gangster.”-“Mm, yeah, I know.” She chuckled when he draped his arms around her lazily and snuggled into her neck. “The most fearsome of them all.”- “Damn right.” I love his drunken rambling 😂. It was such a cute and endearing way to end this angsty chapter.

Slowly making my way through all the parts I've missed, hopefully I'll be caught up with everything soon 🤞🏼! Loved seeing jealous Tommy, please bring him out to to play again sometime soon 🤭.

Part 25: My Darling One

Summary: Tommy overreacts when he learns of the crush his secretary has on his lover.

Word Count: 6,808

Warnings: Jealousy, Tommy being a bit of an asshole, sexual content, and references to polyamory.

Notes: Tommy and Lucy are in an established relationship. Tommy is married to Lizzie, but is having an affair with Lucy--though Lizzie is aware of it and has somewhat begrudgingly allowed their relationship to continue. This takes place between seasons 4 and 5.

Previous Part • Series • Next Part

“I met your secretary while I was waiting,” Ada told Tommy as they sat at his desk in his office in the House of Commons. “He seems nice.”

“Yeah, he’s a good kid.” It had taken ages for them to find someone that fit all their requirements in a secretary. Adam was smart and competent, but also understood the importance of discretion. He was more than willing to look the other way when it came to some of their more shadowy dealings. “He’s settling in well.”

“Lucy’s training him?”

“Of course. Who else?”

Ada pressed her red-painted lips together, trying–and failing–to suppress a smile. “That little crush he has on her is quite sweet.”

Tommy went stock still, pen freezing where it was poised over a paper. “His what?”

Ada looked up at him sharply, the change in his tone triggering her smile to fall. “You don’t know? He’s so obvious about it.”

“He’s not…” but his mind was working back, reexamining. Remembering the way that Adam sometimes looked at Lucy, the puppy-like way he followed her around during his first week. How sometimes Tommy would come out of his office into the space where Lucy and Adam’s desks were located to find them giggling together over something. 

“Look, I’m sure it’s not a big deal,” Ada had returned her attention to the papers in her lap. “Just a puppy love kind of thing. And it isn’t like she’s interested, so…” she shrugged, looking up at him with a playful glint in her eye, “put the razors away, alright Tom?”

“Hmph,” he grunted, even as he leaned back slightly in his chair, knuckles raising to rest against his lips, eyes glued to the double doors that led out into Lucy and Adam’s office. 

The idea of Adam sitting right out there, flirting and laughing with Lucy, made his blood boil. 

Jealousy was not something he often had to deal with in regards to Lucy. Nearly everyone in Small Heath knew she was off limits and kept their eyes to themselves; lest they risk losing them. Not to mention that Lucy never showed any interest in any men outside of him. 

His lips pursed against his knuckles, jaw clenching as he remembered how Lucy had smiled at Adam that morning when he came in. 

That’s just Lucy. She’s warm and friendly towards everyone.

But the doubt had taken root in his head and was already starting to grow. 

Dropping his hand, he sighed, trying to force himself to focus on what he and Ada were supposed to be working on, but finding it increasingly difficult to pull his mind away from turning over each and every encounter he’d witnessed between Lucy and Adam. 

Yes; Ada was right. The kid definitely had a crush on her. But how did Lucy feel about him?

Why don’t you just ask her, you fucking dolt?

But he was suddenly frozen with fear at what her answer might be. 

He was aware of how hard he was to be with. It wouldn’t surprise him if she got tired of his constant moodiness and brooding. He wasn’t exactly a fun person to be around. Lucy could do a thousand times better. It continued to amaze him that she hadn’t up and left him already for someone who actually deserved her. 

And for someone who isn’t married to someone else, he thought miserably, thumb running across the surface of the gold wedding band on his left hand. A shackle that kept him tied to another woman who wasn’t the love of his life. 

Things with Lizzie had been touch and go. She knew about them, and while she allowed them to continue their relationship so long as they were subtle and kept things behind closed doors, she had made her discontentment about it known on several occasions. 

Her mood swings were getting almost as bad as his own. Poor Lucy, having to put up with both of them and their bullshit all the bloody time.

Though he had never taken out his anger or frustrations on Lucy. The same couldn’t be said for Lizzie. Often, it was Lucy who wound up being used as the punching bag for her ire. On a few occasions he’d had to step in to try to shield his lover from his wife’s jealous ragings.

It wasn’t all bad, of course. Sometimes Lizzie was warm and friendly. But her feelings and behaviors towards Lucy swung back and forth like a pendulum, and often they found themselves walking on eggshells around her for fear that saying or doing the wrong thing might set her off. 

With an arrangement like that, it would be no wonder if Lucy started looking for someone else who could offer her a full life. Not one relegated to moments of affection displayed only in shadowy corners or dark rooms. One where she could be loved openly.

The right thing to do would be to let her go. Let her be happy. He loved her so much; that was all he really wanted for her. But the idea of losing Lucy to someone else made him feel sick. Some other man touching her, kissing her, making love to her…

His heart twisted painfully in his chest. 

You fucking hypocrite. Sitting there agonizing over the simple thought of her doing all those things that you do with your wife. How do you think she feels when she has to see you with Lizzie?

He swallowed miserably, fumbling in the case on his desk for a cigarette. But the smoke that he inhaled did nothing to drown out the misery swirling inside him.

∗ ∗ ∗                                          

“Do you know where Adam is? He’s over an hour late,” Lucy asked when she came in to drop off some mail on Tommy’s desk, glancing around as if the secretary would materialize somewhere in the room. When she looked back at Tommy where he was seated in his big chair, he was shifting uncomfortably, not entirely meeting her gaze. 

“I let him go yesterday.”

“You what?” She whirled to stare at him, taken aback. “Why?”

He shrugged, fiddling with his silver cigarette case, popping it open and plucking one out, swiping it across his lips. “It just wasn’t a right fit.” 

“What does that mean?” Her hands landed on her lips, looking at him in confusion. She thought he’d liked Adam. 

“It means that you’re going to need to find me a new secretary.”

Lucy’s eyes widened at the curt tone. He almost never got snappish with her, and the near accusatory glance he shot her only left her even more confused and annoyed. 

“You do realize how long it took me to find someone who fit all of our requirements, right?”

“Better get started on collecting applications then, shouldn’t you?”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Her arms crossed over her chest, annoyance sharpening. “You really aren’t going to even tell me what he did that was so wrong you just had to fire him without even talking to me about it?”

“Wasn’t aware that I needed your permission.”

“Of course you don’t! But it would be common courtesy considering I’m the one who will have to pick up all the additional work without him here.”

“I’ll help you with it.”

She snorted. “Yeah, because you’ve got so much free time these days.”

“What–”

Turning on her heel, she stomped towards the double doors. “You’re having lunch with one of the MPs from Southampton. I’m going to go have tea with Ada.” 

“I need you to take notes–”

“Take your own bloody notes!” 

His jaw dropped open at her barking back at him, and she saw his temper flare briefly behind his eyes. 

“What? You going to fire me now too?” she challenged. He had enough self awareness to look at least a little sheepish at that. 

“Luce–”

“I don’t wanna hear it right now,” she wrenched the door open and let it bang closed behind her with perhaps a little more force than necessary.  

∗ ∗ ∗  

“--Can you believe that!?” She stopped aggressively stirring sugar into her tea, tapping the little silver spoon twice against the rim of the teacup before setting it aside and bringing the cup to her lips, blowing on it once before taking a sip. Her eyes finally raised to Ada’s, where she had been sitting very quietly while Lucy raved to her about how thick headed her brother could be. “Ada?”

Her throat worked, fingers adjusting their hold on the teacup she was holding in them. “I think I know why he fired Adam.”

Lucy set down her teacup in its saucer on the table, leaning forward. “Really? Why?”

Ada’s gaze darted up to hers awkwardly. “I may have mentioned something to him about Adam having a little crush on you. I just thought it was sweet. But he may have taken it the wrong way…”

“Adam doesn’t have a crush on me.”

Ada shot her a look. “You really didn’t notice? He was trailing after you like a puppy for a while, there.”

Lucy frowned. “I’m at least ten years older than him.”

Ada shrugged with a sly grin. “Some men are into that sort of thing, I hear.”

Lucy made a face. “I’m not interested in Adam, Ada.”

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously.” 

“So why would Tommy…?”

“Because he’s a man and they get all territorial and ridiculous sometimes.” She picked a stray bit of lint off of her skirt. “And you know how Tommy can be.”

Annoyance prickled under Lucy’s skin. What gave him the right to stomp around and put a poor kid out of work just because of a stupid crush of which nothing would ever come out of anyway? Did he really have so little faith in her loyalty to him?

Besides, he was married. To someone who was very much not her. Did he really think he had a leg to stand on when it came to being pissed off at the idea of her with someone else?

Not that she would ever actually want to be with someone else, of course. But still. It was the principle of the thing. 

“You have got to be kidding me.” She shook her head back and forth, slowly seething through her teeth. “God, he can be so fucking stupid.”

Ada patted her on the arm. “I know.”

By the time she left the tea room, she had been quietly stewing over Tommy’s reasoning for firing Adam for nearly an hour, her anger marinating. When she got back to the office, it was to find Tommy already there, apparently done with his lunch meeting and seated behind his desk, hard at work.

“Are you fucking serious?” She asked, after closing the door and making sure there was no one else around to overhear them, crossing her arms over her chest. Tommy raised his eyes to her, brows lifted behind the rims of his glasses. 

“What did I do now?”

“You fired him because he liked me!?” 

His jaw ticked, setting stubbornly. “He was being unprofessional–”

“Oh, do not even…how!? How was he being unprofessional, Tommy? I didn’t even know he liked me until Ada told me.” 

“This type of thing happening in the office can cause problems.”

She gaped at him. “Do I need to remind you that your wife was working as your secretary when you impregnated her?”

He flinched, gaze darting down to his hands where they were clasped in front of him on the desk. “Exactly. I had to learn my lesson the hard way about keeping someone around despite them being infatuated with one of us. I’m not dealing with that kind of shit again.”

“He’s not infatuated, Tommy! It’s just a stupid crush. It’ll probably go away in a month or two once he hits it off with one of the other secretaries. There’s plenty to choose from around here.”

“We thought the same thing about Lizzie, and now look where we are.”       

“Yeah, well, I’m not doing shit that’s leading him on either.” A low blow, maybe, but she was upset. And the swipe very much applied to both of them, not just him. She had plenty of chances to put a stop to things with Lizzie, and she hadn’t. Tommy shot her a wounded look, and she immediately felt bad. “If we’re talking about firing people over unprofessional, infatuated behavior, I’m the one who should be getting the boot, not him. You know, because you’re fucking me.”

“That’s…that’s different–”

“Why? Because you’re the boss so you can fuck whoever you want but no one else can?” 

“Because we’re in love, and have been together for years! He can’t just come swooping in here and take you! Because you’re mine!”

Her eyes widened, and she flinched away from him. “I’m not some thing that you own.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

She stared at him, shaking her head back and forth slightly, suddenly massively disappointed in him. She kept her jealousy on a tight leash, despite having to watch Lizzie and a whole other slew of women constantly fall over their feet for him. She didn’t throw temper tantrums and demand he never see them again–especially when they were involved in their work–simply because they couldn’t stop drooling over him. 

But one man, just one in she didn’t even know how many years, showed innocent interest in her, and he threw a fucking hissy fit. 

There wasn’t even any chance of something happening between her and Adam. The boy was still practically a kid, and while sweet, very much not her type. 

Did Tommy really not trust her at all? Did he really think she was about to drop everything, abandon the life they’d built together, and run off with the first man to make googly eyes at her?

“You fucking hypocrite,” she spat out. “You want me to be just yours.” Her eyes dropped to focus on the golden band on his left ring finger. To her horror, through her anger, she felt tears building behind her eyes, a lump lodging in her throat. “And I am. I am yours.” Her lips trembled and she pressed them tightly together, tilting her head ever so slightly. “But you’re not mine.”

His brows drew in, frown pinching across his face. Hurt and panic flashed within his big blue eyes. “Lucy…” he rose from his chair, hand reaching out to her, but she took a step back. 

“I don’t want to see you right now.”

“Love, please, I’m sorry…”

“Don’t. Just don’t, Tommy.” Wrapping her arms around herself, she turned and hurried out of the office, snagging her coat from the hook by the door as she did, barely getting out of there in time before she started to quietly cry. 

∗ ∗ ∗

She went for a walk around the city to clear her head, coat pulled in tight around her, head dipped low with her cap pulled over her hair, the shadow of the brim hiding the dried tear tracks running down her cheeks. 

The weather matched her mood, gray clouds gathering over the city, a few droplets of rain already starting to drip from them. Based on the way that the clouds seemed to roil and double overhead, it wouldn’t be long before they would unleash a full downpour on all of them. 

She wasn’t too far from her and Tommy’s London apartment. But she wasn’t ready to face him just yet. Though most of her anger and annoyance towards him had dried up while she stomped throughout the streets and away from Parliament. 

Overprotective fool, she thought grumpily, shaking her head. But now that she’d cooled off and could examine the situation more objectively, she was pretty sure that she understood what had happened. 

He’d panicked when he found out about Adam’s crush on her. He thought that he was going to take her away. How he thought Adam was going to accomplish that, she had no idea. She supposed that it likely didn’t matter. He probably didn’t even know himself. 

More rain drops fell from the sky, in great succession. Glancing up, she pulled her coat in tighter around her, and with quick steps hurried over to a pub on the corner of the street, ducking inside to wait out the worst of the storm. 

The pub was warm and crowded inside, but she managed to find a barstool close to the back to slide into, away from the bustle of bodies crowding around the bar. A barmaid came over and poured her the whiskey that she ordered, then must have seen it in her face that she wanted to be left alone and let her be with just her drink and her thoughts. 

Her eyes trailed lazily across the lines of shelves holding all assortments of bottles filled with liquor, to the phone tucked behind the bar. 

She could call Tommy and let him know where she was. So he wouldn’t worry. It was already starting to get dark out, and by the time it finished raining, it would most likely be night. 

No; she decided after a moment’s consideration. She would let him sweat a little more. 

“Miss. Winters?” 

She started, eyes widening at the realization that the boy who had been the cause of all this madness had shuffled up right beside her, peering at her curiously. 

OhmyGodhe’sstalkingme was the very first thought that occurred to her. “Adam. What are you doing here?”

“I, erm, I usually come here after work with my friends.” She followed where he pointed with her eyes, to a group of young men and women about Adam’s age sitting in a booth together. A few of them were watching them with intrigue, hastily averting their gazes when they saw her looking at them. 

“Oh.” She immediately felt a little bad for her initial assumption that he was following her. 

“Is Mr. Shelby with you?”

She smiled at him kindly. “No, it’s just me tonight.” She took a considerable swig of her whiskey. “Look, Adam, I’m sorry about Mr. Shelby–”

“Oh! No, no, it’s all alright.”

She frowned. “It is?”

He nodded. “He called me, oh, about an hour ago. Explained that it was all some big misunderstanding and that I can come into work tomorrow, if I want.”

Huh. Apparently her yelling and petulantly stomping her feet at him made an even bigger impression than she’d thought. “Oh. Okay. Good. Are you? Coming back in, I mean.”

Adam nodded. “I am.”

“Good.” She flashed him a deprecating smile. “I was dreading having to deal with finding someone else.”

Adam looked bashfully down at his shoes. His ears were turning a little red. “Do you know…what exactly was it…I mean, if I did something wrong, I’d like to know.”

“No, no it was nothing you did.” Other than cause your boss to freak out and think you were going to try to steal his girlfriend. “It’s like he said, it was just a miscommunication.”

“Oh. Alright then.” 

It was then that the barmaid came over with a tray of drinks for Adam. He took it from her, balancing the tray carefully in his hands. 

“You know, you would be welcome to join us, if you wanted…” he offered. A blush was still flaring at his cheeks, eyes wide while they stared at her. Lucy gave him a kind look. 

“Actually, I’d rather just drink alone right now.”

He shrugged. “Alright.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sure thing.”

She watched him weave through the other patrons back to his friends, before returning her attention to her own drink. 

Oh, Tommy, she shook her head to herself at her lover’s complete overreaction. Though the thought was filled with traces of affection. At least he’d made efforts to fix his mistake.  

She finished off her whiskey, then ordered another. Hopefully the rain would die down by the time she was done, and she could head home without worry of getting drenched. 

By the time that the rain actually stopped, it was dark outside, and a good many of the patrons at the pub had already left, leaving it quiet and empty save for a few occupied tables and booths. Setting some coins down on the bar to pay for her drinks, Lucy hopped off of the barstool, brushing imaginary lint from her coat and pulling her cap from her pocket. As she did, Adam came up to the bar to settle his tab with the barmaid. He gave her a shy smile. 

“Did your friends all leave?” she asked, looking over his shoulder to see that the booth they’d been occupying was empty.

“Just now, yeah.” He forked out some notes from his pocket to hand over to the barmaid, eyes darting anxiously from Lucy to the windows. “I, erm, I could walk you home, if you’d like? Since it’s dark out.”

“Oh, that’s okay, my place is only a few blocks away.”

“It’s no trouble.” 

She inclined her head, smiling a little at the boy’s sweetness, shrugging. “Alright.” 

Leading the way out of the pub and into the crisp evening air, she fell into step beside Adam as they started the walk back to the apartment that she shared with Tommy. Her fingers fumbled at her rings as she wondered whether he would be there waiting for her, or if he would still be at the office. She didn’t think he’d go all the way back to Arrow House without her. Even at his angriest with her, Tommy would never outright abandon her like that. Certainly not in London of all places. 

“I’m sorry about today. Mr. Shelby’s…he can be a little temperamental sometimes, I suppose, but he doesn’t normally do things like that.” They passed under a flickering street lamp. “He’s had a hard year,” she wasn’t sure what else she could offer up in explanation without having to go into far more detail than she was comfortable sharing with Adam.

“It’s alright. My last boss would throw things at us. Sent one of his other secretaries to the hospital when he hit him in the head with a paperweight.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I can at least promise you that Tommy will never do anything like that.” She colored a little at realizing too late that she’d slipped and used his first name. Quickly looking back out at the dark street ahead of them, she hoped that Adam wouldn’t notice. The cobblestones gleamed with lingering moisture from the rain. Neither of them said anything for another block, rounding the corner for her apartment building to come into view at the very end of the street. 

“He’s in love with you, isn’t he?” 

She nearly tripped over her feet and face planted right there on the sidewalk. “What–”

Adam gave her a sad smile, hands tucked into the pockets of his coat. “It’s the way he looks at you,” he said in explanation, like it was obvious. Lucy felt a speckle of horror open up inside of her. They had tried so hard this time around to be subtle…

“Adam,” she wheezed, minorly panicked. “It’s not…I don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s married–” 

Adam shot her a sympathetic, somewhat amused look. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to say anything. I’ve worked with politicians for a few years now. I know how these things work.”

“It’s not…it’s not like that.” For some reason, the idea that he might think that what she had with Tommy was nothing but a dirty affair, akin to what so many of the other politicians did when screwing around behind their wives’ backs, made her feel…cheap. Dirty.

Isn’t that all you really are, though? Just his dirty little secret that he keeps on the side. Even if his wife does know about it and tolerate it. If only just.

She shivered, looking away again. She knew what others probably thought of her. She was sure many looked at her and only saw yet another rich, powerful man’s airheaded mistress. Letting herself be led along, feeding off the empty promises he made that someday, eventually, he would leave his wife for her and they would have a real, happy life together.    

Poor, stupid girl, they whispered behind her back. Doesn’t she know how this always goes? The man never leaves. He never leaves his family for her, and once the wife has had enough and decreed that the affair must end, he’ll throw her out like he has all the others. Maybe get a new model in a few months, and forget all about her. 

That’s how it always goes.

She shook the thoughts away, arms going around her middle. No; that wasn’t them. That wasn’t her and Tommy.        

“I know.” Adam said. At the inquiring look she gave him, he shrugged. “I’ve seen my share of men chasing skirt just for the sport of it. This isn’t that.” 

Lucy swallowed hard. She wondered if he knew how badly she actually had needed to hear that.

“I mean it,” Adam continued. “I won’t say a word to anyone. And not just ‘cos I value my eyes and my tongue.” At her frown, he smiled good naturedly. “You think I didn’t do research into who I was working for?”   

Lucy cast him an impressed look. They’d picked Adam for a reason, after all, but it was only then that it fully dawned on her that he was aware of far more than either she or Tommy had perhaps given him credit for. 

It shouldn’t have been surprising, no one survived long in the political arena–even secretaries–without having a good head on their shoulders. 

“Look, I don’t want any trouble. I just want to do my job and go home at the end of the day, that’s all. Anything you and Mr. Shelby do in your private time isn’t any of my business, as far as I’m concerned.”

Lucy nodded slowly, tongue darting out to wet her lips. “Thank you. We appreciate that.” They had come to the entrance to her apartment building. “This is me,” she said, digging around in her pocket to pull out her keys to the front gate. “Thank you for walking me.”

“It’s no problem.” He glanced over at her apartment building, head tilting back to stare at the windows above, several illuminated by the lights still on inside. “Tell him that I said that it’s alright. And that he doesn’t need to worry. I understand.”

“I will.”

“Have a good night, then, Miss. Winters. I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”

“Right.”

He started to walk away, back the way they’d come. Her grip on her keys tightened, the little jagged grooves digging into her palm. “Adam?”

He turned to look back at her, brow raised curiously.

“I’m sorry,” was all she could think to say. She hated to think that he may be hurt by her relationship with Tommy, and yet she was also relieved that he seemed to fully understand and accept that nothing would ever happen between them.

Adam shrugged. “Don’t be.” 

She nodded, thumbing out the correct key dangling on the ring she was clutching, sliding it into the lock on the gate and pushing it open. When she turned to close it behind her with a soft clang, Adam was already halfway down the road. 

She climbed the stairs slowly, pulling her cap off and tucking it away into her pocket, brushing a few loose red curls out of her eyes.

She opened the door to find the apartment dimly lit, the ornately shaded lamps by the couch in the middle of the sitting room turned on but the curtains drawn. 

Tommy was seated on the crimson colored velvet couch. His suit jacket off and tossed haphazardly over the back of a chair, head in his hands and an over half drunk bottle of whiskey on the table in front of him. His head lifted to stare at her with wide eyes at the sound of the door opening. He watched silently as she moved about, stripping off her coat and hanging it on the hook beside his next to the door. Wriggling out of her suit jacket, she deposited it over the back of one of the armchairs. With a sigh, she went to sit beside him on the couch. Never once did his gaze waver from her.

“You came back,” he said in a quiet voice. Lucy raised an eyebrow. It was obvious that he was drunk, both in the slight glassiness in his eyes, and in the barely noticeable slur to his words. 

“You really thought that I wouldn’t?”

He shrugged miserably, looking down at the table in front of them. “I wouldn’t blame you.”

Frowning, she scooted a little closer to him, reaching out to lay a hand on his shoulder blade. “Tommy…”

“I called Adam and gave him his job back,” he still wouldn’t entirely look at her.

“I know.”

His head raised, brow furrowed. “You do?”

She nodded. “I ducked into a pub to wait out the rain. He was there with a bunch of friends. We chatted a little, and he said that you called him.” She hesitated, not sure how he would take the next bit, but not wanting to keep anything from him. “He walked me home.”

Tommy looked back down. “Oh.”

“Tommy, nothing is ever, ever going to happen between me and him. I don’t even feel that way about him at all, alright? You don’t need to worry.”

“I know.”

“Then why…?”

“Because…because there are dozens of people out there who would actually deserve you.” He didn’t meet her gaze, thumbs playing with each other while he spoke. “And I’m so scared that someday, someone is going to come and take you away from me.” 

Her heart broke a little, both at his words and the sorrowful tone with which he said them. “Oh, love,” she rested a hand on the back of his head. “Look at me,” with gentle pressure from her palm, she encouraged his head to turn until she was met with miserable blue eyes. So full of self hatred that she wanted to squeeze him in her arms and never let him go. “You’ll never lose me.” His lips trembled, eyes widening with unshed tears. Lucy let her forehead lean into his. “Not ever.”

He smelled of whiskey and smoke and melancholy, lashes lowering and head leaning into hers. The rest of his body shifted somewhat so he was more properly facing her, a hand landing on her hip.

“I love you. And I know that you don’t think that you deserve me, but you do. You love me more than anyone else ever has.” She continued, smiling a little when he tried to nuzzle his face more firmly against hers. A teasing gleam entered her eyes. “Besides, you really think that a scrawny little secretary that’s a good ten years younger than me is gonna manage to sweep me off my feet?”

Tommy huffed. “I know. I’m sorry. I overreacted.”

“Mhm.”

Insecurity entered his eyes again. “He wants you, though.”

“Doesn’t mean that he gets me. Besides, he knows about us.”

Tommy stiffened. “How…?”

“Apparently we’re still not as inconspicuous as we’d like to think. Or maybe Adam is just more observant than we gave him credit for. Either way, he knows. He’s not going to say anything. But I do think he is a little scared of you. So, I doubt he’s about to try anything, either. You don’t need to worry about him.” She stroked his cheek. “And like I said earlier, it’s just a stupid crush. It’ll probably pass after a month or two once he finds someone else to capture his interest. He’s not like Lizzie. He knows that there’s nothing that could ever come of this.”

Tommy swallowed hard and nodded slowly, hand lifting to cover hers where it still rested against his cheek, thumb stroking over her knuckles.  

“I’m sorry too.” She leaned back a little so he could see the full genuinity in her face. “I shouldn’t have gotten so angry about it. And I shouldn’t have called you a hypocrite over it either.”

Tommy shook his head, gaze dropping again to fix on the velvet couch cushions under them. They were soft and plush. The couch, despite still being new, was already well broken into by late nights spent cuddling, working, and fucking on it. 

“You were right. I was being a hypocrite. On multiple points.”

“I don’t think that’s entirely fair…”

“Isn’t it? What’s not fair is any of this for you. It’d serve me right if you went and fucked someone else.”

She was momentarily caught off guard and how truly miserable he sounded. So much so that it alarmed her a little. She knew that he felt massively guilty for the nights that he spent with Lizzie and not her. Even if they were few and far between. And even though she’d given him her blessing to do so. He always looked at her like a frightened puppy the morning after, as if expecting her to kick or scream at him and shove him away. But it worried her to think that he was self flagellating himself over it.

“I don’t want to fuck someone else.” She was still open to threesomes, of course–so long as he was with her–but that was different. “I knew there would be some sacrifices I’d have to make when you married Lizzie. It’s okay. I don’t care so long as we still get to be together.”  

Tommy cast her another sad look. “It would be okay if you did.”

“What? Fucked someone else or cared that there are things that I’ve had to give up?”

“Both. Either.” 

Her brows raised. “You’d still love me if I went off and fucked another man?” Considering the temper tantrum he’d just thrown, she didn’t think it was a wholly unreasonable question. 

“Of course I’d still love you. I’d love you no matter what you do.”

She felt herself melt a little. “Even if I blew up the world?”

His lips quirked upwards for the slightest of moments. “Even then.”

She kissed his nose. “You don’t ever have to worry about that, for the record.”

“Which one?”

“Fucking another man. I make no promises about not blowing up the world.”

He snorted, touching her face gently. “You were wrong, you know? I am yours. This,” he touched the ring on his finger, “doesn’t change any of that.”

“Doesn’t it?” 

“Not to me. It’s just a piece of metal. It doesn’t mean anything.” He leaned back a little, hand trailing lazily along her shoulder. “You’re the one I love.”

“You’re drunk.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, glassy eyes confirming her statement. “But what’s that thing that they say? Drunken words are sober thoughts.”   

He leaned forward to try to capture her lips with his. Lucy laughed softly, his movements a little uncoordinated, mouth tasting strongly of whiskey when it pressed to hers. She let him kiss her for a moment before pulling back, smiling at the way that he tried to chase her. Those wide eyes the color of a warm ocean blinked up at her hopefully, his thumb tracing circles into her hip.

“We’re alright?”

“Yes, we’re alright, you overprotective idiot.” Her tone was steeped in enough fondness for him to know that she meant it only affectionately. He poked her in the side, brow raising. 

“See? Proof that I love you. If anyone else gave me that sorta cheek I’d have their eyes.” 

She pressed her smiling lips together, as if her big softy of a lover didn’t often let people get away with far more than he probably should. “Of course, sweetheart.”

He let out a rumbling purr at the nickname, leaning into her. All that whiskey he’d been drowning himself in before she showed up seemed to be catching up to him, leaving him all sleepy and cuddly. 

She secretly loved it when he got like this. It was so bloody adorable to see some of the gruff exterior slip away, not even trying to hide the big teddy bear that he secretly was underneath. 

Smiling to herself, Lucy took his face in her hands, angling it up to look at her.

“What?” He asked, catching sight of the adoring look she was giving him. 

“You’re cute.”

He shook his head despite blushing against her hands. “‘M big scary gangster.”

“Mm, yeah, I know.” She chuckled when he draped his arms around her lazily and snuggled into her neck. “The most fearsome of them all.”

“Damn right.”

She laughed, looping her arms around his back to hold him closer to her. She could feel him growing heavier against her, nuzzling a little more into her neck. She stroked the back of his head, where the shaved parts of his hair prickled her skin before giving way to softer, longer strands. “Is the big, fearsome, very drunk gangster sleepy?”

“…Yes.”

“Let’s get you to bed, then.” When he made no move to get up, despite his mumble of agreement, she had to bite back a laugh. “Tommy?”

“Comfortable here.”

“Right, but if we fall asleep on this couch, you’ll get a crick in your neck and my shoulders will be killing me come morning. Bed.”

He whined and pouted a little, but let her navigate him away from where he’d settled against her throat. Standing and pulling him by his hand to his feet, she wrapped her arm around his waist. He wasn’t as unsteady on his feet as she’d feared, arm looping around her shoulders more for closeness than out of actually needing stability. The bedroom was just down a very short hallway that veered off from the sitting room. The canopy bed that greeted them looked particularly comfortable, golden light from the lamps bouncing off the wardrobes pushed up against the walls and the little vanity where she did her hair and makeup in the mornings.

All Tommy did to get ready for bed was strip out of everything save for his underwear, then promptly decide that rather than just wait for her in the bed like a normal person, he wanted to drape himself around her instead. Which made it rather difficult for her to remove her makeup and get out of her own clothes with a tall–well, tall in comparison to her, anyway–and stockily muscled man hanging off of her like a koala. 

“Alright, you loon, you’ve gotta let me go for a second.” She said, giving him a peck to the forehead to dissuade him from pouting too much when she extracted herself from his grasp so she could change. He still sulked at the momentary lapse of physical contact, but seemed pleased when she opted to wear one of his shirts to bed rather than a nightgown, humming happily when she let him nestle back up against her. 

She maneuvered them both into the bed, smiling when he immediately snuggled up to her, his arms around her waist, head on her chest, and body half on top of hers. He almost never allowed his full weight to rest on top of her like that, too afraid of accidentally crushing her. Though honestly, if she had to pick a way to go, being smothered under him didn’t seem half bad. 

“Feeling better?” she asked, stroking gently through his soft dark hair. Tommy nodded, eyes already dropping closed. 

“‘M sorry for being an asshole.”

“It’s okay. Just talk to me next time before you start going around firing people, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry too,” she kissed the top of his head, a smile playing on the edges of her lips when she tipped her head back to rest against the pillows. “You wanna hear something kinda terrible?”

“Hm?”

“I kinda liked it. Not the part where you took things out on a poor boy who hadn’t actually done anything wrong,” she amended quickly. “But it’s just…nice to know that you’d be willing to fight for me.”

He turned his head to kiss her shoulder. “Always. No one touches my girl.” 

She smiled, knowing that the possessiveness in his voice was meant as protective and loving rather than controlling or dehumanizing. 

Tommy tightened his arms around her. “I love you.” 

She traced her fingers along the expanse of his bare, strong back, feeling the smooth skin and the periodic bumps of a scar or beauty mark. “I love you too.” 

He peppered a few kisses along her collarbone before settling again, and it wasn’t long before he was snoring softly against her, the deep rumbles from his chest helping to lull her, until she too fell fast asleep in the comfort of his arms. 

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[navree]

I saw your post from a while ago were you rewrote hotd using the vague outline of the show can i ask what your ideal hotd season 1 would be like keeping the same episode count but ignoring everything else???

So, I'm gonna assume that by HOTD you do still mean the vaguest "it's about the Dance of Dragons" plot because honestly my ideal HOTD show would have been a Conquest show because those are my babies and I have a LOT of thoughts and it's a crying shame that HBO did not hire me for it (which I can get into in how I'd make that show if you want, lol). But, assuming we're doing the Dance, then I'll explain how season 1 would go from my perspective.

(also apologies, I just got back from a sushi restaurant with my mother and I'm two cocktails deep so there may be some grammatical errors)

Episode One - I'll just link back to what I wrote in this response, because that's still the same. I actually really like the bones of the show, especially changing the Rhaenicent relationship to make it what it is, I think that is more interesting for a longform narrative like a TV show. But basically, the pilot is entirely the same except for the fact that 1) Daemon and Mysaria get an introduction that's just them observing one of Mysaria's customers behind a curtain, being voyeuristic and conniving but not engaging themselves and 2) there is no prophecy. Verbatim from my first response: "I'm not against the idea that Aegon might have had ulterior motives beyond simple Conquest, and we know that Targaryens are capable of having prophetic abilities, but no this should not have been a secret passed down through generations for some fucking reason because that's stupid. And most importantly, considering that HOTD needed to succeed in spite of Game of Thrones, not because of it, because of how awful the last season was and how immediately it faded from the public consciousness and stopped being relevant as a result, the show should honestly not be so frequently be calling back to a disappointing aspect of the show. "A Targaryen must be seated on the Iron Throne" ok but she wasn't and the Long Night ended because some rando had a good ten yard jump according to D&D cuz they wanted to "subvert expectations" stop reminding me of that if I want to be enjoying this new show." Not to mention that it doesn't make sense because the succession was shot to Hell almost immediately for the Targaryens, Aenys likely would have passed that secret down to Aegon the Uncrowned, who died before he could tell anyone anything, Jaehaerys was an unlikely heir, he didn't know about any prophecy, God this was dumb. Also, again, Rhaenys would get her own introduction, I imagine maybe visiting her cousin Aemma as she nears labor when Viserys comes in, ranting about something that happened at the Small Council, where Rhaenys gets an opportunity to show better political acumen and make it clear that Viserys was the wrong choice for the crown.

Episode Two - This is the first episode where we hear Otto talk to Alicent about going to the king for comfort, that would be nixed from the first episode. As with the show, we see that Alicent is deeply uncomfortable with this, and there's gonna be a lot more emphasis on Viserys's own manipulation and how it parallels modern ways men groom young girls, talking about not telling anyone cuz they wouldn't understand, pointing out Alicent's maturity especially when compared to Rhaenyra (who is her age), etc. Meanwhile, the plot on Dragonstone is one that Daemon and Mysaria hatch together, albeit for different reasons (Daemon to get Viserys's attention, Mysaria because she can see that tensions might be starting to boil over and wants to protect herself as best she can). The pregnancy is a fake, but the only one who really starts to think that is the Velaryons, particularly Rhaenys. She would get a scene at Driftmark with Corlys, to showcase again that she's really in touch with politics, where she believes that this is both a ploy to shore up power and get Viserys's attention, while both Corlys and her children listen in (this will be important later). Rhaenyra, meanwhile, is clearly struggling with her role as heir, and we'd get scenes showcasing that no one really takes her seriously and even Viserys still just sees her as a cupbearer rather than an heir. The only person, ironically, who really seems to want to help her and who she leans on for support in learning how to do things, like appointing Kingsguard knights (which happens same as the show), is Otto. She really leans on Otto, as not just the Hand of the King but her friend's father, who she believes has her best interests at heart. The episode still ends the same though, with Viserys announcing in Council, in front of Rhaenyra (though he's never consulted her this time) that he will marry Alicent, to her shock and horror.

Episode Three - Not to be self-indulgent, but the bulk of this episode is going to be like my fic Spring's End, because I was correct in everything I wrote here so go read that also because I wrote it in like two days and it somehow turned out semi-coherent. That's the main crux of the episode, focusing on Alicent's reaction and really hammering home things like Viserys's inappropriate behavior, Otto's love in conflict with his ambition, and the tension between her increasingly important but isolated status at court, as well as starting the sort of Lancelot and Guinevere relationship she will have with Criston. Meanwhile, Rhaenyra is spiraling, hard, about the fact that her father is marrying her friend and still not taking her seriously, along with feeling like she was duped by Otto in that he allowed her to depend on him while seemingly scheming to get someone else on the throne in her place. And it's in this mindset that Rhaenyra decides to go to Dragonstone to confront Daemon herself, without any backup. The two have a heated verbal confrontation about Daemon's antics, and Viserys naming Rhaenyra heir, and even the fact that it doesn't matter, because he's marrying Alicent Hightower, and Rhaenyra has a moment where she tells him that Alicent will likely have sons, and Daemon will never be heir. This clearly cuts to Daemon, and he just decides to give up the dragon eggs and turns away. Rhaenyra has scored a victory, and she feels triumphant, but also hollow (foreshadowing). Daemon meanwhile decides to send Mysaria away, and it's left debatable how much is just because his plan failed and also because he does feel he's put her in danger for nothing, and decides to go to Driftmark. Back at King's Landing, Viserys learns of what Rhaenyra has done during dinner, and summons her to lambast her about it, before Alicent cuts in and points out that Rhaenyra diffusing the situation, while careless, did avoid a conflict that could hurt innocent civilians (this would precipitate the semi-reconciliation that shows up later). Viserys here is clearly torn between a sort of pride in his daughter, but also feeling that she behaved badly, and Rhaenyra is still angry at him but wants his approval. On Driftmark, Daemon and Corlys disparage Viserys and make plans to at least go deal with the Triarchy, which, while not hyped up nearly as much in the show, has at least been mentioned. Daemon also has a moment with Laena Velaryon, who here is the same age as Alicent and Rhaenyra. They notice Vhagar in the distance, talk about dragons and freedom, and Laena makes plain that she intends to claim a dragon for herself, as her mother's daughter, even dropping names like the Cannibal, which certainly piques Daemon's interest. The wedding between Viserys and Alicent goes off, though we are getting that deleted scene where Rhaenyra helps Alicent get ready, because I really wish we could have seen that or at least been told it happened before I wrote Spring's End.

Episode Four - Queen Alicent is pregnant, near term, and the court is alight with speculation as to whether it will be a princess or a prince. Rhaenyra is unsure of how to feel about it, and is trying to navigate the friendship, uncertain though it is, with the fact that Alicent is now the queen. She's gotten closer to Criston Cole, who seems to be primarily on bodyguard duty for the queen or the princess depending on the day, as well as Laena Velaryon, who is at court with her mother, who has informally taken Corlys's place on the Small Council now that he's in the Stepstones with Daemon; this is another way to show that Rhaenys is better at this than Viserys, and there are even moments where the Council is more in agreement with her than him. Meanwhile, the Stepstones aren't gonna be touched on much beyond maybe the final battle and some occasional references, except to show Daemon's military prowess and also Corlys's brilliance in strategy, as well as Corlys's frequent correspondences with Rhaenys, to highlight their cohesion. Meanwhile, in King's Landing, the Strongs have also arrived at the capital. Rhaenyra sees Harwin doing, idk, horse stuff or something medieval and masculine, and is quite taken with him, and they strike up some conversations. Larys, with his disability, finds himself interacting with the ladies of court most, especially Alicent, and the two form a sort of friendship surrounding engaging each other's minds, and they both enjoy that they're the only ones who seem to treat the other as an actual person, rather than the pregnant wife or the disabled second son. Rhaenyra's frank and open conversations with Harwin, on the other hand, embolden her, and we get that scene where she seduces Criston, and there's a lot more play with the fact that Criston is interested and does want it, but is held back by vows before giving in to desire (also, we're just going to put a lot more emphasis on Criston's religious convictions in this version of the show, especially during his convocation in episode two when he joins the Kingsguard). Towards the end of the episode, Alicent goes into labor. Viserys and Rhaenyra share a bonding moment about their worries for Alicent's safety and the reminders of Aemma and what happened to her, and for a moment it looks as though Viserys is goign to tell Rhaenyra what he did to her mother. Rhaenyra also gets a moment where she holds Alicent's hand during labor, and we see her simultaneous love for Alicent in that as well as her clear discomfort with the concept of this being her own fate. And then Alicent delivers a son, a direct challenge to Rhaenyra's claim.

Episode Five - A big thing that's going to happen in this episode is that this is where Laena claims Vhagar. She's at Driftmark for it (foreshadowing) and, given that we've seen her in episodes three and four, it becomes clear that Vhagar is following Laena specifically. So we get to see the claiming, and Laena's own power in that. That's something that, as Daemon returns to Driftmark with Corlys, he's going to learn about, and he's going to be very intrigued by that, and taken with Laena. Another thing we're going to see is Corlys's negotiations with allies he made in Essos during his time away, arranging a betrothal between Laena and the son of the Sealord of Braavos. Rhaenyra's plotline, on the other hand, is going to be about her asserting her own power, especially now that her father has a trueborn son named Aegon Targaryen, which is a direct threat. She has a moment with her father where she directly tells him that, as his heir, she's not just going to be his cupbearer, but deserves a seat at his Small Council. He acquiesces, and Rhaenyra butts heads with Otto a lot, and pushes hard for Harwin Strong to be made captain of the Gold Cloaks, and succeeds. This is coincides with Otto hearing rumors that Rhaenyra has been behaving inappropriately with men, especially Harwin and Criston Cole. He discusses these with Alicent, who refuses to believe that of both Criston and Rhaenyra, given that Criston is spending more time with her as her bodyguard as he struggles with his "sin". She does have that scene in the godswood with Rhaenyra, but instead of issues with Daemon, it's just saying that there are rumors spreading about her behavior and that Rhaenyra must have care with her reputation. Rhaenyra figures out it's Otto who's informing Alicent, and the mood here is complex; Alicent does want to look out for Rhaenyra but also wants to ascertain the truth, and Rhaenyra both sees and feels emotional about Alicent's care but also isn't sure if she can trust Alicent. Rhaenyra keeps that moment where she swears on the memory of her mother that nothing untoward happened, but this time it's an out and out lie, to showcase the way she handles issues that might harm her and her position, lie and deny (foreshadowing). There's also gonna be a scene, before the godswood, where Rhaenyra and Alicent talk about motherhood, and we see more of Rhaenyra's complex feelings on the topic, and she does admit she was worried Alicent would die in childbirth like Aemma.

Episode Six - It's Aegon's name day, and we can clearly see that Alicent is pregnant again, not as far along as she is in the show during episode three but at least starting to have a bump. And it's here that Daemon decides to make his return to court, and dramatically offer Viserys his crown and say that any title about the Narrow Sea means nothing to him, because Viserys is his true king. I'd add a lot more scenes of Viserys and Daemon in this episode, because remember, we haven't seen them interact since the first episode, and also to really highlight how there is a genuine affection here, especially on Daemon's part. Daemon and Rhaenyra also reconnect, and have a lot of conversations in the vein we see in the original episode 4, talking about how they can do whatever they want because they're Targaryens. It's heavily flirtatious, and we do get that scene of Daemon taking Rhaenyra into the city. Here, there is more an emphasis on Daemon really just wanting Rhaenyra to enjoy herself, since we'd have another scene between him and Laena at court, though more stilted because her intended, the son of the Sealord, is here too. But after that scene where the commons show more enthusiasm for baby Aegon than her, Rhaenyra and Daemon return, and Rhaenyra has a blunt moment about her struggles to be taken seriously. It gets pretty hot and heavy, and it's not in a private room, but one of the corridors. And lo and behold, who hears about it, but Otto. And this time, he takes his issues to the king, who does summon Rhaenyra to discuss it. Rhaenyra turns it around on Viserys, accusing him of abandoning her now that he has a son, and mentions that Otto has been spreading rumors not just about her and Daemon, but her and Harwin and her and Criston, and that she feels that Otto is no friend to the crown if he's going to impugn her own honor this way. Viserys discusses these allegations with Alicent as she's taking care of him, in earshot of Criston, who is horrified about being found out. But we get that moment from the show, where Alicent goes to bat for Rhaenyra, and points out that maybe Daemon was spreading some rumors himself. An emotionally exhausted Rhaenyra also gets a scene with Rhaenys, and they discuss the concept of being allowed to inherit, of inhabiting a man's position even though they are not men and cannot act like it, and the nature of Targaryens vs other Westerosi. Also there's a scene this ep in reference to a deleted scene from the original show where Rhaenyra is playing with toddler Aegon and getting him to say her name, a sweet moment between a brother and sister.

Episode Seven - Helaena has been born and is a few months old, and Rhaenyra and Otto are butting heads on the Small Council more and more, and as Daemon and Rhaenyra continue to spend time together, Otto continues to bring his concerns to the king. Eventually, Viserys fires Otto as the Hand, at Rhaenyra's insistence, and we do get that scene from the show between Otto and Alicent where he stresses that he doesn't think Rhaenyra could ever ascend, and that whole bit Rhys Ifans was talking about with how Otto wants to say "I love you and I'm scared for you" but doesn't know how. Alicent, feeling vexed that there are rumors about Daemon's behavior but nothing is happening, strongly urges Viserys to also send Daemon back to the Vale with Rhea Royce, saying that his habits endanger the Targaryens by engendering enmity in the smallfolk who feel that he's just allowed to act with impunity. Viserys also agrees to this, which Rhaenyra is not happy about, since it feels like Alicent removed an ally to her for no reason. Criston, meanwhile, we see continue to spiral about his tryst to Rhaenyra and the fallout of the lies involved, and goes to Alicent to ask if he can be in her service, and not have to spend time with Rhaenyra anymore. Alicent, who can see that he's upset about something, readily agrees, which drives a further wedge between her and Alicent. Rhaenyra turns to Laena Velaryon, who isn't particularly enthused about her betrothal to the son of the Sealord, and also to Harwin Strong just as a companion. After dinner with Laena and Rhaenys, Rhaenyra decides that she needs to take a husband to solidify her claim, especially with gossip at court that the king still summons the queen to his bedchamber in spite of having two children, which Rhaenyra does remain disgusted by. She goes to Viserys with the proposal that she tour the realm to find a suitable husband for the heir to the Iron Throne, and Viserys says nothing about her using that title, but agrees.

Episode Eight - Rhaenyra has been touring the Kingdoms, trying to find a husband, and it's not going well. She does go to the Vale, under the auspices of looking for a husband from that area, but mostly still to talk with Daemon. Laena also frequents the Vale, and the three of them tend to race their dragons, and Rhaenyra does notice that there's a simmering attraction between Laena and Daemon, which she calls Daemon out on, saying that, as Princess, she has no interest in playing second fiddle before she eventually departs the Vale. This leaves Daemon to confront what he does actually want out of a potential alliance with the Velaryons and the longstanding attraction with Laena (and maybe this leads him to killing Rhea? i'm conflicted on that one honestly but she does die in this episode, either accidentally like in the book or in a murkier version of what Daemon did in the show, maybe him just spooking her horse without bashing her head in with a rock). In King's Landing, Viserys grows increasingly infirm due to his various Iron Throne issues (yes I'm keeping that), and as such, Alicent has started accompanying him to Small Council meetings, which a lot of people are conflicted about. At first, we see her not doing much, but she eventually starts speaking out more and more. And at one point in the episode, Viserys is going to have an amputation, one that lays him up in bed for a bit, and Alicent still attends the Small Council in his place to speak for him. When someone points out that it is the Hand who speaks for the king, Alicent retorts that who knows the king better, and can thus speak for him best, than his own wife and, crucially (and the first time she ever flexes like this) the mother of his only son. At Driftmark, Rhaenys is back to ruling there, given that Corlys is back on the Small Council, and is definitely bitter about it. That's when Rhaenyra arrives, and offers a proposal: that she marry Laenor, and their first son be a Targaryen heir, while the others would stand to inherit Driftmark and other Velaryon properties as Velaryons. Rhaenys agrees to this, only writing a letter of the proposal to Corlys after she's done so to inform him that it's happening. Rhaenyra also gets more moments with Harwin in this episode, to build up to their relationship, and an important moment comes when she confides her issues with childbirth and childrearing after watching what it did to her mother.

Episode Nine - Rhaenyra arrives and is a bit weirded out to learn that Alicent is now on the Small Council too. The first meeting they have, where Rhaenyra discusses her marriage to Laenor, is a bit tense between them, and definitely awkward, but there's still an attempt at politeness. Rhaenyra has her talk with Laenor about different tastes, but she does also stress the importance that she does need an heir, so there will need to be duties performed on occasion to create one. Laena, meanwhile, is very not happy about Laenor's marriage and the bargain it includes, talking to her mother about how, if Rhaenyra can be the heir to the Iron Throne regardless of gender, then she, as Laenor's older sister, should be the one to inherit Driftmark and be the Lady of the Tides, and so should her own children. Rhaenys says that it's not going to happen, that Rhaenyra is only a solitary exception due to Targaryen nature, and Laena bluntly puts that it's a ridiculous thing to have it only be Rhaenyra, and that what would be the point of it at all if it didn't lead to larger change, otherwise the entire enterprise is doomed to failure (foreshadowing). Back in King's Landing, Criston Cole, whose arc this season has been about his religious convictions and how it feels to have betrayed those and seen the fallout, eventually cracks and confesses to Alicent, doing that whole "it's my sin but as a clement queen give me a quick death" moment. And Alicent is again betrayed at the fact that Rhaenyra lied, and the fallout from that lie for her and what that means about Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra, meanwhile, has a late night talk with Harwin about having to choose a husband when there wouldn't be an expectation of her to choose a wife if she were a man, and Harwin is genuinely sympathetic, leading to a spontaneous kiss. When the rehearsal dinner happens later, Rhaenyra is dressed in her house colors, dramatic Targaryen red and black, but Alicent arrives in a dazzling green dress, the colors of Oldtown at war. She gives a smile to Hightower relatives, yes, but the conversation about how she's grown into queenship is actually had with Tyland Lannister, who we'd have seen her interact with on occasion at the Small Council. Rhaenyra clocks Alicent's coolness towards her, and the two have a private moment when left alone on the dais while Viserys does, idk, something, and Alicent makes a cold callback to Rhaenyra swearing on Aemma's memory, letting her know that she knows of the lies and she's angry.

Episode Ten - It is the wedding day of Rhaenyra and Laenor, and everyone is here, the Velaryons and the son of the Sealord and all the Strongs and all the retinues of the Houses and even Otto is here as a guest, given that he is the father of the queen. Before a tourney to celebrate the impending nuptials, Rhaenyra and Harwin have a talk about their feelings, and Rhaenyra does stress that she wants him but it has to be discreet because of her position, but she does have an understanding with Laenor, and the two share another kiss. Meanwhile, Alicent, just to be petty, tells Viserys she feels that she's pregnant again, and that it's another boy, and Viserys, because he's a moron, actually announces this before the tourney. This is the tourney where, in the mélee, Criston Cole kills Laenor's lover Joffrey, to Laenor's shock and horror. Laenor and Rhaenyra are both immediately calling for consequences, but Alicent comes in for Criston, saying that it's an armed mélee and thus there's a natural acceptance of risk, which Joffrey knew, and Viserys lets the whole thing slide. This casts a pall over the wedding ceremony, and during the feast that night, Laenor is still dejected, which is why Rhaenyra goes to dance with others, like Harwin, and Daemon, who has been invited, and the two have another sexually charged moment. Daemon also dances with Laena, and bluntly asks her whether she wants to be married to the son of the Sealord, and she says no, and makes a comment about wanting Vhagar to eat him. The Sealord gets a bit uppity about someone else dancing with his bride to be, words are exchanged between him and Daemon, and it eventually breaks out into an actual fight. Alicent impulsively calls out for Rhaenyra, and Harwin does go to remove her, and Rhaenyra does have a moment where the first thing she does is check if Alicent herself is unharmed, showing that even with the worsening relationship that we've seen crack apart, there's still love there. Daemon eventually kills the son of the Sealord as Viserys, who again has been having those health problems all season like in the original show, passes out. This allows both Daemon and Criston Cole to sneak out unnoticed, and Criston, like in the show, is going to kill himself. Again, we've seen him kinda spiral all season, and after now killing someone too, not in combat but in a game, he feels at his lowest. And like in the show, Alicent stops him, though we do seem her kneel in the grass and take the knife from his hands. Alicent and Rhaenyra both then go to stay by Viserys, and we see them arrive at the same time before they sit on opposite sides of his bed. And here I will ape myself and my original answer again: "Episode ends with Daemon saddling Caraxes, ready to ride away before someone thinks "hey maybe we should imprison the guy who killed a foreign ally's leader", and then suddenly a great shadow blocks out the sun. Suddenly Vhagar lands in front of him, Laena atop her, and Daemon thinks, oh shit is she gonna try and fight me for killing her betrothed? He's still on the ground, and suddenly Laena climbs down from Vhagar to join him there. She doesn't say anything, but she smiles at him, and Daemon bends to kiss her hand." Meanwhile, at Viserys's sickbed, you have Rhaenyra, the Velaryons (minus Laena), and Harwin on one side, and Alicent, Larys, Otto, the Lannisters, Criston, and two attendants holding Aegon and Helaena on another. It's interspersed with a shot of Caraxes and Vhagar taking flight, almost dancing in the air, and their calls intermingle with baby Aegon beginning to cry. The dragons are dancing, the Targaryens are choosing side, and children are already weeping; th war may not have started yet, but it is already here. As Vhagar's wing eclipses the camera as she flies away, episode ends.

So this is uhhhhh not my best work as I'm making it up on the fly as I write this, but here ya go, HOTD season 1 if I were allowed to be showrunner. I'm not sure how coherent this all is, or if I got across all I wanted to. TL;DR here is that I would put a lot more focus on Alicent and Rhaenyra's relationship and its slow, gradual disintegration, as well as establishing the burgeoning sides that are going to be taken, along with adding more complexity to characters that were left by the wayside in the original show. But hope you liked it!