#ok i lied i have a lot of thoughts but none of them are coherent

[corporealchaos]

NO THOUGHTS JUST THIS:

[bugsinshoes]

ok so i just watched @fordtato and @hkthatgffan 's respective videos about their interview with THE alex hirsch and i wanna just say OH MY GOD like SERIOUSLY

im gonna put my thoughts under the cut so theres no spoilers if you havent seen it already (BUT GO WATCH THEM NOW PLEASE !!!) + its gonna be LONG so BEAR WITH ME

ok, so i have MANY thoughts so sorry if none of this is coherent 😭 (this is not in chronological order of when the questions were asked, just me spewing out my totally normal thoughts about this interview so apologies for that)

starting off:

THE BABY IS SHERMIE?!?!?!? IM SO SO GLAD WE FINALLY HAVE CONFIRMATION WE CAN FINALLY LEAVE THIS TO REST !! I WAS RIGHT THOUGH SO HA !!! ACTUALLY SCREAMING !! TIMELINE BE DAMNED (also another thanks to hana, your timeline video is genuinely awesome. i never shut up about it. ever. any time i talk to my friends abt gf and i need to refer to the timeline i go: "IN HANA'S VIDEO-") anyways, i do understand it was a last minute decision on the writer's part of "oh. dipper and mabel need a grandfather, its not ford, and its sure as FUCK not gonna be stan sooo... third brother?" and i do understand alex being like, "oh, this is about ford and stan only having eachother" so i think making shermie younger was a GOOD THING? like, stan and ford had 18 years of just them so shermie wasnt in the picture, so stan and ford technically grew up on their own so ig it works? also, when stan got kicked out, he never got to see shermie grow up, probably only saw him at events when he had to pretend to be ford (post-1983) and as for ford himself, he was too busy in college and gravity falls to really visit the family so... it works! (despite everything)

that aside, lets talk about THE CRUMBS??? like i have some quotes here because i have a LOT to say:

"theyre both so damaged and they desperately need each other" - alex hirsch (talking about stan and ford)

LIKE SUIUHUSHUSH i HATE these brothers SO MUCH (LIES) i cant actually properly express my thoughts because WOW like its clear that they both have their own trauma and they NEED to address it but theyre both too STUBBORN to do so. theyve both been alone for 40ish years so of course they need each other. they grew up by the hip, so theres no surprise that they both need each other (whether they like it or not)

"[ford's] grateful for the forgiveness he thinks he doesnt deserve" -alex hirsch

ford thinks so lowly of himself at times it HURTS. like the lines in the journal about "only then would the freak return a hero" or about his guilt with bill and everything its just so important to his character im so glad we got so much ford content in this interview. like i am EATING ALL THIS UP RN

"[ford] has to always have a mission in front of him, because if he doesnt have a mission in front of him, hes thinking how have i treated people in my life?" - alex hirsch

ford distracting himself with things instead of facing his problems. probably something he had to do a lot, especially with his time in the multiverse. but it really hurts because i can imagine in the 60s, they never had any great coping mechanisms? so i can assume ford was just conditioned to distract himself from stuff so he never learned how to deal with things. and i KNOW in the journal hes like "i meditate!" and im sure that does help somewhat, but it doesnt address the issue itself soooo... sorry ford, but you cant just breathe your way out of everything

ALSO alex calling ford and fiddlefords falling out a "BREAKUP" (air quotes used) BUT A BREAKUP??? this is just adding fuel to my fiddauthor-infested brain rn. i CANT

and alex saying mcgucket is thinking like, "oh i gotta be a better partner" is HEART SHATTERING like the whole talk about fiddleford being "the building guy" who is kind of just there to make machines and please ford. its honestly so heartbreaking because fiddleford loves ford so much he'd leave his wife and child to go to absolute nowhere, oregon and the fact ford is too arrogant to see fiddlefords admiration and overall love for him its just IUIUAHHAS

and i do wanna say, i KNOW bill played a big part in this, by stroking fords ego and buttering him up with his kind words because he knew exactly what ford wanted to hear and that really affected how ford and fidds' relationship was like but THATS A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER TIME. all i know is that ford isnt entirely to blame, but he still is a massive arrogant asshole and he wasnt the best person to fidds at times (love him tho <3)

but im actually so happy because this interview sheds SO much light onto FORD bcs we BARELY got to know him, and hearing it from MR HIRSCH HIMSELF is just so good because we KNOW its a reliable source because its coming from ALEX YK??? like he wrote ford so he probably knows "oh yeah, that man is guilt-ridden as FUCK" and im so glad we get some crumbs of this guy i cant get enough of him !!! (impatiently waiting for the book of bill)

ANNNDD THE TALK ABOUT MAYBE GETTING A SEA GRUNKS SPINOFF/MINISERIES??? I WOULD EXPLODE GENUINELY ANYTHING WITH MY FAVOURITE OLD MEN PLEASE !! i would genuinely love to see more of their dynamic and how everything is after weirdmaggeddon and like dealing with trauma and UGHHH i would kill for stan/ford content PLEASE

also...

hippie ford.

hippie. ford.

i am never getting over this (im internally SCREECHING)

ANYWAYS THAT WAS MY RANT ABT MY FAV THINGS FROM THE INTERVIEW THAT WAS A LOT GODDAMN

im genuinely so happy with all the questions that got answered, as well as getting some deeper insight into characters and stuff. IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE AMOUNT OF FIDDAUTHOR CRUMBS YOU GUYS

im gonna end this by saying another MASSIVE thank you to hana and hk !! you both put so much effort into your respective videos and it was super super cool !! this was totally worth the wait !!! :D

[thatfilthyanimal]

Fuck it.

It's taken me 20 years to get up the courage to talk about this publicly. It's still leaving out some details and is only ONE person's bullshit in a tangle of MANY, but this one has been the hardest to talk about that has affected me the longest.

TW's under the read-more:

(Trigger warnings for gaslighting, manipulation, abuse, power dynamics, death threats, violence, underage sex of varying levels of non-consensual, victim blaming, cheating, etc etc etc it's all bad ok?)

...Mostly because I ended up getting shamed for it early, and blamed for doing the things I did and blamed for feeling hurt, and I ended up believing I deserved and asked for it. It's taken a very, VERY long time to come to terms with that, realize I'm safe now, and agree that I wasn't to blame-- I was a fucking kid. This shit happened between 12-16. I was a kid riding off the coat-tails of my parent's divorce and dealing with the weird grooming of my older boyfriend at the time and just. It's taken a really long time to stop making excuses and forgiving shit from people who never really apologized for hurting me.

Even if they HAD apologized it wouldn't have meant shit. I've since spent the last 20-fucking-years feeling ashamed and holding back, and I'm pretty sure I'm processing some ugly PTSD lately and notttt doing good about it. Every time I tried to talk about this or think about it until more recently, I'd blank, I'd disassociate, I'd have a panic attack, I'd shut down-- I can't keep doing this.

And part of why I'm talking about it now is because one of the ONLY things that has ever helped, in all of these years, is knowing that others have gone through similar experiences. I think a post crossed my dash once? Years ago? Kids being convinced by peers they're something inhuman, and their friends using the power play aspect of that dynamic to hurt them. It's... oddly common, apparently? But I didn't know back then. I wish I'd known. I wish I'd been able to talk to ANYONE about it who could have looked at my situation and been like "dude, none of this is real and she's abusing you".

I'm 34. I'm exhausted. I want this bled out of me and I'm really really really fucking tired of it blindsiding me when I'm perfectly safe and happy. It's been ruining my life. I want it gone.

Anyway.

Here's what I wrote a couple weeks ago. This is the most coherently I've been able to get this out.

(Full transparency tho, I don't expect responses. It's heavy shit. I just. Need to let this out and try to finally move on, because it's costing me thousands in therapy and meds, costing me relationships, costing me time, costing me tears, just-- fuck, I want it OUT of me and I don't know what else to do.)

-

Me, for the last 20 years: Hahaha yeah it was dumb teenage shit, it wasn't that bad

Me, now: Oh yeah she literally threatened to kill me in my sleep for years if I upset her, and upsetting her included being mad when she'd cheat on me, sometimes right in front of me.

She convinced me I was something inhuman for YEARS. Played this huge game where she was an Alpha and could kill me at any time. I wanted to believe the person I loved, my best friend, and so I did. I wanted to believe there was more in the world than being my boring ol' self.

This meant, if she was having a bad day, it was suddenly something I unknowingly did "while asleep", and she'd yell at me, punish me by hitting me, giving me the cold shoulder for no reason, etc.

One time I talked back so she kicked my leg so hard I limped on it for weeks.

She sat there like 8 feet from me and aggressively made out with a cuter girl I didn't know she was with while everyone hollered and cheered them on, meanwhile she made excuses she couldn't even hold my hand while in school. By that point we'd been together for maybe 4 years.

Another girl excitedly told me in one of my classes once that she got a new girlfriend, and I was like, oh! neat! who?

And then she said my girlfriend's name.

I had to tell this girl she was already being lied to because -I- was with her. She'd never been told.

She tricked me into thinking another random stranger was inhuman "like us" and she egged me on, and I gave this random dude blowjobs for over a year thinking he was secretly my "mate" in another realm. We "weren't allowed to discuss it", she said. Meanwhile this guy used me.

Neither her nor this stranger ever attempted to return the sexual attention. Not for my pleasure, at least. I felt untouchable, and I felt like I was only good for others if I was doing something for them.

This has led to me having a lot of sex I wasn't interested in, over the last 20 years. I'm grey asexual, probably. Didn't know until I met my asexual partner.

Sex is finally enjoyable because I don't feel like it's all I'm good for. But I still fall back to it when insecure.

She told her lies to my boyfriend at the time, but only after I called her crying because me and my "mate" met up after school in the woods to fuck, which ended up not happening because I panicked. Thankfully, he wasn't a rapist. But he also wasn't there to be a loving partner.

Had he been a caring partner, and patient with my nerves, I would have absolutely let him do it.

Welcome to the scenario where we consented (but I really didn't, because I thought he was someone else) and no one believed I was molested when I'd tell them.

"But you wanted it."

(I didn't want to press charges on him-- he didn't actually do anything wrong. He didn't know what was going on, and maybe he should have communicated better with me, sure, but I forgave him.

For this, people assumed I was telling them for attention and pity points.)

My boyfriend, blindsided by everything and understandably upset, woke me crying because, hey, what the fuck, I had been cheating on him. I asked who he heard that from, and he mentioned her. Of course, she failed to mention her manipulation bullshit or the inhuman stuff.

Because, why should she be responsible for her manipulation and lying to me for years? Why should she be responsible for the guy she encouraged me to sleep with?

My boyfriend forgave it and we moved on. I slowly distanced from her and realized how much she'd been lying.

I'm fully aware it wasn't okay and she was being manipulative and cruel. I'm fully aware I'm safe now and that normal people don't approach relationships like that. It doesn't stop the knee-jerk reaction to panic when AFAB people show me affection.

[a-sweet-violent-urge]

Michael Jackson

Yeah, I know, I know what state the world is in right now but trust me, this post has been a long time coming. I just never got around to write it. And I’m sitting down to do it now because I’ve been locked at home for a week so I guess it’s now or never. 

One look at my blog will tell you that I very rarely post personal stuff on here. I just reblog things and sometimes express opinions about my fav shows but that’s it. But I’m gonna get personal now.

I guess now’s the time to point out that I’m also not the most eloquent person around so to anyone reading, this might seem a bit all over the place, you’ve been warned. 

The last few months have been really hard for me and my family. My father died last December. I still can’t wrap my head around it. I was used to not having him around at home, he was always working, you know, to bring money home, and now.. I ... I think of him as not home, not gone. Don’t know if that makes sense. You’re probably wondering what does this have to do with Michael Jackson? I’ll get to that, be patient with me. 

Anyone who really knows me, and to be honest this is not a lot of people, I’m introverted, knows that listening to music is how I deal with things. I remember being a senior in high school, we were doing a speaking exercise in my English class, and my teacher asked us what influenced us the most in life, like, what helped shape our view on life and the world.  When it was my turn to answer, I said that it was music and the artists I listened to. The rest of the group (I’m saying group not class for a reason, but I don’t want to go into that much detail) probably thought it was weird, they talked about their friends and family. But this was the truth for me. It still is. The music I listen to (along with the books I read) is what has influenced me the most in life, it’s what made me the person I am today. This is the reason why I’ve always hated talking about music, my favorite music has always been something very personal to me. I’ve always hated the question who’s your favorite artist. People would think it’s an easy one to answer but it’s not, not to me

This is where I start to talk about Michael. He was one of those artists (who influenced me) but I only realize that now, in retrospect. Actually, around the time I answered that question, the artists I meant were 30STM, or Linkin Park, MCR or whatever the hell I listened to back then. 

I think the first time I listened to MJ intentionally was sadly after he died. I was born in September 1994, so I was not 15 yet. Up until that point, MJ was just a name in my head. I knew he was a singer, I knew what he looked like (’cause who didn’t or doesn’t), I know what he was very famous (though I had no idea why), I had heard songs, of course, though I didn’t really realize they were MJ songs. And despite all of that, me not knowing basically anything about him, I remember how hard his death hit me. I don’t know why. I felt like my fav artist had died, I felt like I had lost someone. To this day I can’t explain to myself why. I remember in what room I was when I heard the news. I watched the memorial and cried my eyes out. 

After that, I decided to listen to his music. I listened to a lot of it and for a month or two, (or probably more, I don’t really remember) I listened mostly to him. I learnt more and more things about him. Like, about his philanthropic work, about the allegations (I’ll talk about that later), actually I remember being like 10 and watching the trial being covered on the news here. Songs like The way you make me feel, Dirty Diana, Give into me quickly became my favorites. But I remember the first times I heard Man in the Mirror, Earth song, Heal the Word, We are the World. And especially Man in the Mirror. The lyrics If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change had become like my motto in life and I didn’t even realise it until the past few months. I realized that often when I had to make a choice about something, those lyrics would pop up in my head. When I saw or read something about the environmental problems that we’re facing, Earth song ended up popping in my head. Yeah, MJ had helped shape my view on certain things and I didn’t even know then.

After my 2009 MJ phase, I hardly ever listened to him. I would listen to some songs from time to time when the mood struck me, but that was it. 

Fast forward to October/November 2019. I was on YT and I ended up listening to some MJ songs., it was one of those times when the mood struck me, and I was going through the comment section (as I always do) while listening, and I noticed people commenting about .. a certain documentary. I don’t even want to say its name. So I was like what the fuck has happened and I looked it up. My initial reaction was seriously, this again?

Ok, I’ll go back to 2009 for a bit. When I got into MJ 11 years ago, as I mentioned earlier, I read about the allegations, I remembered even seeing it on the news as I said. But he was found not guilty. It was good enough for me. I didn’t think much about it. I didn’t care much about it. Plus he had just died. Nobody had one bad word to say about him. Ironic, huh? Also, I couldn’t do research even if I wanted to. I was young, I didn’t really speak English that well, and honestly, in the last few months I realized that when it comes to Michael Jackson, the truth is buried under so many false stories and dare I say, blatant lies, that you need an excavator to dig it out. I’m putting this in bold, in case a none MJ fan reads this, if you want to find the truth, know what you’re getting yourself into. Anyway, I couldn’t even fully appreciate some songs, because you need context to fully understand them, and I didn’t have that context then. 

Fast forward to 2019 again. So I found out about you-know-what and I started reading about it and watching videos, educating myself on the matter. In other words, I had gone down the rabbit hole. But it was not just that what sparked my interest in Michael. I noticed something. Something many people were writing in the comment section of different. Michael was an angel. Michael is/was love. What would have Michael done (about whatever) if he was alive? I was like what?! Look, I have spend my life fangirling over different celebrities and I had never seen people saying things like that. And this was the moment, I asked myself the question, why was this person so famous and so loved by so many people from all over the world? Why HIM? Yes, he was immensely talented but that applies to a lot of artists. So why Michael? Now I know why. If you’re a fan reading this, you know why, too. If you’re not, go figure it out on your own. 

It’s funny how a movie filled with not even clever lies, made so Michael’s name could one more time be run through the dirt, made me his fan (ugh, I hate that word, I almost feel like it has a negative connotation nowadays). Made me more than just a fan. If you remember, I started this post by saying that my father passed away in December. It all happened very fast, in less then 3 months, he wasn’t sick and then he was, and then, before we even knew it, he was gone. I was in the room when he died. So you see in what period of my life Michael’s music entered my life again. In a period when I needed a little light, something to keep the faith. In those months (and even now, more than 3 months later) Michael’s art was my lifeline. Keep the faith, Gone too soon, Had enough, Will you be there, Little Susie and so on. 

Here are some lyrics that really hit me hard

The feeling of terror she felt as a youth Has turned from a fantasy into the truth (Scared of the moon)

I drowned my pain in his music. His love, his kindness and generosity reminded me of my purpose in life. I won’t go into details about what I experienced because this already got more personal than I’m comfortable with. Plus, my vocabulary is not good enough to do it justice. I’ll finish with this. I’m in complete awe of him and the things he did. Like, yesterday I found out he made a song about sign language. Seeing voices. 

So, that’s my MJ story. I hope it’s comprehensible, you don’t know how hard it was for me to put this into a somewhat coherent narrative. But I really needed to get it off my chest. I probably missed some things that I wanted to say, if I think of something more, I’ll add an edit.

By the way, as you can see, I’m new to the MJ community and I’d love to make some friends, so feel free to message me. 

[gaystuartlittle]

ok so 20 or 32 for the drabble thing. licherally theyre so Richie and Eddie yknow

“I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.” & “I locked the keys in the car.”

Rating: T (language) Words: 1,151

Richie grinned as he watched Eddie clutch the handle above his seat. They were driving back to their dorm after going to the movies to watch some dumb comedy that had Eddie rolling his eyes the whole time. Richie, of course, loved it, and had not-so-quietly whispered little comments to Eddie the whole time, earning them some dirty looks. 

Richie was driving since Eddie still didn't have his license. As much as Richie teased him about that, he actually really liked being able to cart Eddie around. Their little drives were fun, and the conversations were always new and exciting. Richie loved when Eddie would just talk aimlessly, spilling whatever was on his mind. Really, Richie loved when Eddie did anything.

Richie had been spending a lot of time recently thinking cheesy crap like that, and then pretending it was not a big deal and didn't mean anything. He knew deep down that it did mean something, but it was easier to ignore it. Just like he ignored the way his heart sped up whenever Eddie would touch him, or how he would forget how to speak when Eddie would wear those shorts. 

Forcing himself to refocus on the road, Richie tuned back into what Eddie was talking about. He had been complaining about his lab partner in his biology class, saying that he never did his share of the work. Richie had heard this rant several times already, but he would never get tired of it. Eddie's complaints were a signature Kaspbrak trait, one that was beloved by Richie. 

As he pulled up to a stoplight, Richie turned his head to the right to look at Eddie. He admired how his eyes sparkled under the traffic lights, and how his eyebrows furrowed when he got to particular parts of his story. Then, of course, he freaked out about his feelings, so he chose to pull a classic Richie move. He dipped his pointer finger into his mouth before sticking it into Eddie's ear.

"What the fuck was that for, dickwad?" Eddie snapped, wiping at his ear.

"Sorry, your ear just looked so tempting. I had to, Eds."

"I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies. And don't call me Eds." Eddie griped. Richie's eyes were back on the road, but he could feel the power of Eddie's eye roll. He turned back to Eddie to argue about how he can just give him wet-willies, because that's what best friends do, but didn't get a chance to speak before Eddie yelled out, "Eyes on the road, Chee! You're going to give me a wet-willy and then kill me in a car crash seconds later?"

Richie glued his eyes on the street ahead of him as Eddie returned to his complaints about his lab partner. Unfortunately, though, the wet-willy did not do enough to distract Richie, so he was thinking again about how cute Eddie was. Except now it was even worse, because he was thinking about how badly he wanted to tell him, "It's cause you're fucking cute, Eddie Spaghetti," when Eddie asked why he gave him a wet-willy. He even almost just outright said it.

"Hey idiot, are you even listening to me?" Eddie asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Richie lied, hoping Eddie wouldn't probe any further. But it didn't work.

"Liar. What are you thinking about?" 

Richie took a deep breath as he pulled into a parking spot outside their dorm building. Was he really just going to say it? If it went poorly, they would still be living together, except now things would be awkward as fuck and Richie would be sad.

"I was, um, just thinking - there's something I need to tell you," Richie said, voice suddenly dripping with nerves. His hands were shaking, and he was hoping Eddie would just tell him to shut up so that he wouldn't actually have to admit that he has feelings for his roommate. 

"What is it, Rich? You know you can tell me anything, we're best friends."

He knew Eddie was just trying to comfort him, to show him that he really can say anything, but that wasn't really helpful. Thinking about how they were best friends just made him more nervous. He didn't want to lose his best friend because of his stupid gay crush. But he had already gotten this far, so he figured he might as well just rip the bandaid off and say it.

"So, I maybe kinda sorta - well, um," Richie sputtered, struggling to form a coherent sentence. Eddie was having none of it, immediately saying, "Spit it out, Chee!"

"IthinkIhavefeelingsforyou," Richie rushed out, his sentence coming out more like a singular word. He held his breath, scared that Eddie was going to freak out on him, or worse, pity him. When he finally gathered the nerve to look back up at Eddie, there was unrecognizable look in Eddie's eyes.

And then Eddie leaned forward and pressed his lips to Richie's, tentatively but with a hell of a lot of passion. Richie's brain took a second to catch up and realize that this was happening, Eddie was kissing him, and then he kissed him back. He brought his hands up to Eddie's face, cupping his cheek as he deepened the kiss. When they finally pulled back, all Richie could say was, "Wow."

"Yeah. Wow. I've been wanting to do that for a while," Eddie said casually as he opened his car door. Richie clambered out behind him, desperate to know more about how Eddie had been wanting to kiss him for a while.

He locked the car from the inside like always, since they didn't have a working key fob anymore. Eddie had walked around to Richie's side of the car, and Richie pulled him in close, wanting to combat the cold with both of their body heat. 

"What do you mean you've wanted to do that for a while?" Richie probed.

"Just never thought you'd feel the same way. I've been pining after you for what feels like centuries," Eddie said as he rested his head against Richie's chest.

And now Richie's brain was short-circuiting, because fuck, that's insane. Richie shoved his hand into his jacket pocket, feeling around for his room key so they could go inside and get out of the cold. But instead, he was met with an empty pocket.

"Fuck. Promise you'll still want to kiss me after I tell you this," Richie said nervously. Eddie pulled his head back, looking at Richie puzzlingly. 

"Well, see, I might have - I locked the keys in the car." Richie admitted sheepishly. Eddie shook his head, as he was used to Richie's mishaps by now and was barely phased.

"I can't believe I have a crush on you," Eddie said through a laugh before pulling Richie's head down for another kiss.

[imyourliquor-youremypoison]

Big Spook (Peter Parker x Reader -  Part 2)

Synopsis: Aged Up!Peter thinks he’s done well with leading a double life. He’s studying what he likes, he has his own place, he’s dating the girl he loves… but that doesn’t mean life is easy all the time. Even superheroes have bad days - and sometimes worse days.

Tags: Aged Up!Character, College AU, Established relationship, Whump, Angst. Does not take FFH into account. SPOILER FREE.

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: I decided to write a shorter piece since my long ones don’t get a lot of attention. I don’t know why… Do you guys prefer short imagines? Do you get discouraged when you see “word count: 9k”??? Please tell me in the comments so I can adapt my writing :(

Part 1 <<< >>> Part 3

MASTERLIST

Today was October 11th, and it was a day like any other.

*

Peter was an open book to whoever knew how to read him. (Y/N) could see through him, he literally couldn’t hide anything from her if he tried. She knew what kind of OCD meant he lied, or hide something from her, or was nervous.

One thing she had learned over time, was that he usually switched to reversed psychology whenever he was mad. He would tell her she was the worst, that he hated her little quirks and habits, that he didn’t want to see her or talk to her, but she knew he meant the opposite.

So when Peter told her not to wait on him, she knew better than to obey. (Y/N) picked up her manual to finish her work, sitting on the same spot, in the same position as before, and she would stay like this until Peter came back.

She had closed the window now, before it was getting fresher and fresher every day, but it was unlocked so Peter could enter later. He tried to avoid walking around the building as Spider-Man, so the window was the best option. The fire escape allowed him to come back even if something happened and he couldn’t use his web shooters anymore.

She hoped he wouldn’t need to use it. Still, (Y/N) couldn’t just go to bed and pretend everything was fine. Therefore, she would wait.

A few hours later, (Y/N) opened her eyes, yawning and stretching. Shit. She had fallen asleep on the couch. No wonder, it had been a long day. A shiver ran down her spine and she hugged herself, rubbing her own arms to warm up. Why was it so cold in here? Had the heating system gone down again?

No. The window was open. Suddenly completely awake, (Y/N) shot up to her feet.

“Peter?” she called, meeting nothing but silence, only disrupted by the distant police sirens blending in the background noise, and the chatter of people walking in the street.

A thousand thoughts assailed her mind. What time was it? How long had she slept? Was Peter back? But if it was Peter who opened the window, why didn’t he close it afterwards? Why didn’t he wake her up? He usually let her know she was back or carried her to bed. If it wasn't Peter, then who? A burglar? Would a burglar sneak into their apartment even though she was sleeping right there on the couch? None of these questions found answers except for the first one.

Her eyes glanced at the microwave clock. It was half past one. No wonder it was pitch black outside.

“Peter?” (Y/N) called again, a bit louder this time.

If it was a burglar, maybe he would leave through another window, for fear of being caught red handed. (Y/N) hoped so, because she couldn’t fight. She wasn’t a fighter in the literally sense. Peter and her had briefly discussed teaching her the basics of self-defense, but they had quickly dismissed the idea altogether because as much as (Y/N) was a tough cookie, she had two left hands.

Not knowing what to do, she first decided to close the window, to get rid of the chilly draft. Then, she grabbed her massive engineering manual – surely it would hurt if she threw it hard enough? Her aim was half decent. One deep breath later, (Y/N) gathered her courage and inspected the rooms one by one. There weren’t a lot of room to inspect, granted, but going from the main living space to the bedroom was already scary enough if you considered there might be an intruder waiting for her in the dark, ready to strike.

She switched on the light as soon as the flip was within arm reach and found no one. The room was exactly the way they had left it earlier today, nothing had moved, not even the bed sheets. A long exhale crossed her lips, and she felt the tension leave her body. There was still the bathroom left, but what would a burglar do in their bathroom? There were no windows big enough to escape through and nothing of value in there.

(Y/N) dropped her manual on the bed and ran a hand through her hair to pull it back, feeling anxious beyond reason. Something was still off. Wasting no more time, she barged into the bathroom, expecting to find Peter in the shower or something of the sort, ready to demand an explanation for the way he had left earlier and then returned without a word.

Instead, what she found chilled her to the bone. The sight before her eyes made her blood curdle instantly and she dropped to her knees – not intentionally, her legs simply gave out.

“No, no, no, no,” she began to chant like a litany, a prayer to whatever god was listening.

It was Peter, but he wasn't in the shower. (Y/N) felt sick, and she barely had enough time to throw herself towards the toilet seat before retching, black spots dancing before her eyes when she emerged again.

In her precipitation, she tore a long piece of toilet paper off the roll and wiped her mouth, then looked at Peter again, horror painted over her features.

“Peter,” she whispered, hands shaking so violently she didn't dare touch him, in case she hurt him more than he already was.

He laid on the tiled floor, eyes closed – unconscious? Asleep? Dead? (Y/N) nearly retched again at the sheer thought. She had never seen him like this.

“Peter, please, Peter,” she cried out.

Her vision blurred slowly but she couldn't stop the tears from welling up. This was nothing like the day she had found out about Spider-Man, this was much worse. Please, let him be alive, please, please, she pleaded silently.

His suit was in pieces, there was nothing to save, nothing at all. He looked as though he came out of a shredder, cut, lacerated, torn in places. Was it bloody skin or red fabric? (Y/N) couldn't tell, and she didn't ever want to know. She looked down at herself when she felt something damp on her knees and found she was sitting in a pool of blood.

She was frozen. She stared at her blood soaked bottoms, unable to move, unable to say anything, unable to form the barest coherent thought. There's blood. There's so much blood. Peter's blood. It was all too much for her, she felt lightheaded all of a sudden and had to gather all of her strength not to faint right then and there.

“Oh no, no, no, Peter...” she whimpered still, finally recovering her voice and trying assess the damage. “What happened to you, Peter? I told you to be careful, I told you!”

He didn't answer, but she couldn't stop the flow of words from pouring out. Then, she had an idea, and fumbled to get her phone out of her pocket, quickly placing it over his parted lips, trying not to shake too much.

(Y/N) let out a loud sob of relief upon seeing the screen fog up, a sure sign that he was still breathing. But he didn't look good at all. Apart from his severely beat up and slashed body, there was also a monstrous gash on the right side of this head, running from his temple to the back of his head, oozing blood. It was the wound responsible for the pool of blood around him.

Peter's heart might still be beating, but (Y/N)'s had stopped completely and stood still in her chest, waiting for the shock to wear off. His hair was matted in dried blood. How long had he been here? How long did she sleep while her boyfriend bled out on the bathroom floor? (Y/N) began to heave, struggling to breathe while loud sobs forced their way out of her throat in between hiccups.

“Peter, Peter wake up,” she kept on crying, pointlessly. “I'm begging you, Peter, please, please open your eyes.”

She couldn't see anymore, everything was a blur, tears poured out of her eyes and mixed with the blood staining the floor. She could see herself scrubbing Peter's blood off the tiles while bawling her eyes out later, like in a bad movie. This couldn't be real, it couldn't happen to them.

What to do? Her mind was racing. The urgency of the situation struck her so hard she couldn't even think straight anymore. But she knew that she couldn't waste anymore time now, Peter's life was on the line. (Y/N) angrily wiped the tears away and took her phone again. Crying would be for later – for when Peter wasn't on the brink of death.

It took a few tries because she was still shaking like nothing she had ever experienced before, but (Y/N) managed to call Happy at long last, not knowing what else to do. She couldn’t remove his suit like she did last time he came home bruised and battered, she might do something wrong and hurt him even more. The hospital wasn’t an option either, Peter wouldn’t want to expose his true identity.

Happy picked up because he knew her number and knew she wouldn't call at this hour unless it was important, and (Y/N) made a mental note to thank him properly later. She tried to explain what was going on as best she could, but if someone asked her, she wouldn't be able to tell them what exactly she told Happy on the phone. She knew that she cried a lot, and stuttered some incoherent nonsense, but he must have understood something among the violent sobs raking her body, or at least sense the urgency of the matter, because she said he would be right over.

(Y/N) had no recollection of what happened next. She knew only that she didn't leave Peter's side at any point up until they arrived at Stark Tower and he was taken into surgery was one Helen Cho, and Happy had to hold her back so she wouldn't follow him.

He was so pale, so lifeless. Her heart hadn't picked up again, and (Y/N) wasn't sure she would feel it beat before she was certain Peter was okay. She cried some more into Happy's shoulder. He didn't let go of her until exhaustion got the best of her and (Y/N) collapsed in his arms, cheeks stained with dried tears and eyes red and puffy.

*

Today was October 12th, it was a quarter past two in the morning, and (Y/N) would never forget the date.

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TAGLIST: @palindrome-teddy @complete-trash-101 @keeperofhopesanddreams @i-love-whumperflies @golden-guide

Comment if you wanna be tagged on part 3 :) (It became longer! oops)

REBLOG TO SAVE A WRITER

[sevenincubistolemyheart]

Black Ties, White Lies

Au: Mafia

Tag list: @xsunnyhoseokx @wilhelminalucinda

Rating: M overall, T for this chapter

Potential Triggers: Slight violence and brief mentions of torture in this chapter but there will be many more warnings added throughout this series. Check the masterlist as I update for all the triggers in the series up to that point.

Pairing: BTS x Reader/OT7 x reader

Genre: Drama, Crime, Angst, Fluff, Hurt & Comfort

Length: 4k+

Summary: When your mother, a Registered Nurse at the nearby hospital passes suddenly from unexplained circumstances, you're thrown into a life you never expected to have to deal with tending to her 7 long-term patients. Of course, they're also apart of one of the most notorious mafia families in the underground, so there's that. 2 hate you, 3 are kind to you and 2 you can't figure out if your life depended on it. All of these boys change the way you once perceived the world, in one way or another, but can you do the same for them?

“Intimidation hits a lot harder through indifference.”

That was always Yoongi’s personal mantra. As lead interrogator in addition to right-hand man to Namjoon, it was words he lived by. He honestly didn't even use much intense physical torture, unlike Taehyung, who seemed to always find a reason to hurt his clients before bringing them to him. He'd never been a fan of such gory methods. Besides, he'd always found that people's minds were so much easier to break. It was almost laughable to him how easy he could make someone spill their guts with simple mental manipulation.

He specialized in it, and a small, sadistic part of him even relished in it.

For tough targets, he'd occasionally call Jin to help, when he wasn't busy gathering information. He found himself surprised at how ruthless the typically joyful man was. Perhaps what made them pair so well was their opposing personalities in the interrogation room. Yoongi was all cool, cocky indifference, whereas Jin was happy, amicable and deceptively light as he tortured. They'd often ask their interrogee who got to them the most toward the end of the session (for the ones coherent enough to speak anyway) and so far Jin was in the lead by two.

When he walked into the interrogation room, he always liked to go in not knowing too much about his quarry. Taehyung was the same, but their reasons were very different. While Taehyung liked to draw all manner of information from his victim's lips before even bringing them to Yoongi to properly interrogate just to fuck with them, Yoongi liked to keep things professional. Truth be told, he didn't really like his job. He excelled at it, sure, but unless the person he was torturing slighted him personally, he didn't really enjoy it.

He couldn't help the smirk that tugged at his lips at the mental image of the grown man who'd broken Jungkook's nose in his attempted struggle, crying hysterically and begging him for mercy, not 2 hours later.

Ok, so maybe he enjoyed his job a little.

This time, his prey was a girl and was to be a long time interrogee, meaning his personal brand of interrogation would be a lot more gradual and you wouldn't be on his table. Namjoon had said he wanted you completely broken and built back up again. You’d been kidnapped to replace your mother as the medic, as your Mother had been killed during a surprise raid by a rival mafia a week ago, and had reluctantly agreed, though he didn't yet know your reasoning for doing so.

Thankfully, your Mother had the foresight to teach you the basics of what you’d need to know beforehand, and therefore made you useful to the gang should anything happen to her, rather than a simple liability to be killed off. A bitter smirk graced his lips at the realization. Smart woman.

Even after you agreed though, Namjoon wasn't satisfied. You clearly were not meant for the underworld in any capacity. You were weak, with no physical training oncesoever, and your psyche was basically an egg with how easy you could crack, especially with you still grieving the loss of your mother. Upon glancing at you for a moment when you first entered the residence, Yoongi figured Namjoon would come to him, and come he did, not a day after you first joined their ranks. He emphasized that above all else, he wanted you strong and Yoongi couldn’t help but wonder what his reasons for doing so were, but kept his curiosity to himself.

The days passed with nary a sight of you, and he figured Namjoon was letting Hoseok teach you the ropes and getting you acquainted with your new life as the family’s medic, starting with adjusting to the new setting. Hoseok was their drug specialist, so he knew quite a bit about medicine and therefore was deemed the best to help you learn what you needed to. At the week mark, Namjoon told Yoongi you’d be staying with him from now on, and that you’d be formally introduced to him and the others that night.

As nightfall approached, Namjoon called a meeting in the hang out room located in the basement and Yoongi watched casually as the others spread out to their typical places as he himself, lounged on the couch.

Jungkook immediately was at the dartboard to get out some of his pent-up aggression, while Namjoon and Taehyung started up a game of pool. Jin opted to linger by the pool table to observe their game and also keep an eye on Jungkook every now and then in case he hurt himself with a too angry throw. Jimin all but threw himself on the couch and Yoongi had to stifle a chuckle at the irritated glower he sent Namjoon's way. Poor guy looked ready to pass out. “Wake me when she's here hyung.” He muttered and Yoongi’s nod was the last thing the tired man saw before he was out like a light.

All movement stopped as the door opened and Hoseok led you down the stairs. You were clearly quite on edge, even with Hoseok beside you as the boys all eyed you. Namjoon strode forward, ever the confident leader and smiled, though his eyes were cool. “Welcome. It’s good to see you again Y/N, and I’m glad you’re finally able to meet the others. Introduce yourself.” You picked up on the demanding undercurrent within his voice and nodded, noticing Hoseok slipped away to go join Jungkook out of the corner of your eye.

You followed Namjoon’s order like instructed and bowed respectively before returning to standing, smiling shakily. “Hello. I’m Y/N. I’m going to be your new nurse so if you have any injuries that need tending to, please be sure to come to the Infirmary.” You almost flinched at the sudden sarcastic scoff that fell from Jungkook’s lips. “Obviously. Where else would we go?” Yoongi watched as your eyes lowered in shame at your mistake momentarily before you forced a laugh. “Right, of course. Sorry, that was dumb of me…”

To break the tense silence that had fallen, he rose from the couch after giving Jimin a light kick to get him to wake up and walked over to you, typical emotionless expression firmly in place. “Hey, I’m Yoongi.” He introduced simply, nodding at you. “I’m lead interrogator around here. Namjoon said you’d be staying with me from now on.” You seemed a bit wary at the news but smiled and nodded nonetheless. “Ah alright. Sorry if it’s inconvenient for you, I’ll be sure to stay out of your way.” He shook his head, a small smirk twitching at his lips as he leaned forward to whisper to you. “Word of the wise...stop apologizing. We don’t do that here.” You stiffened, but nodded quickly, taking his advice to heart as the next member approached you and Yoongi returned to his position on the couch, simply observing from afar as the other members of their group introduced themselves to you.

The unconventionally attractive male bowed quickly and smiled charmingly at you, making your heart leap despite yourself. “Hey there. The name’s Jin, I hack whoever needs hacking and also work with information. Listen, you shouldn’t worry too much about us harming you. As long as you stay loyal, there won’t be any need for intense violence or intimidation. I wasn’t too surprised to find you really didn’t know anything about us, since I’ve been keeping tabs on you since you were a kid, but just try not to worry too much, alright? None of us are…” He hesitated and finally decided on. “Monsters, like many seem to believe.” He left fairly quickly after that, intent on kicking Namjoon’s ass at pool and you had to admit you felt a bit more at ease after his reassurance.

You looked over in surprise as the guy laid out next to Yoongi on the couch suddenly groaned loudly, and waved you over. “Y/N, right? Be a doll and come over here so I don’t have to get up.” He all but pleaded you and you couldn’t help the small smile that graced your lips at how normal he seemed. Maybe Jin was right after all. “Alright.” You made your way over and he shot a grateful smile your way. “Thanks. Sorry, I’ve been out on a job for a week and just got back, so I’m all kinds of exhausted. Name’s Jimin, I’m the muscle around here along with Jungkook, but I sometimes also get sent out to check on some of our clients.” His casualness instantly made you lose some of your tension, Yoongi noted, filing the information away for later as you made easy conversation with the other.

“Don’t let Jungkook scare you off, Yoongs said he was a dick earlier. He may seem tough, but he’s actually got a soft side.” He confided, before calling the other over. “Kook! Come and meet our newest member!” You looked over and saw him grumbling to Hoseok who simply rolled his eyes and half dragged him over. Jungkook seemed to be avoiding any eye contact at all with you for some reason, and you found yourself a bit worried. Could you have done something to anger him? You hadn’t met him before this, so his coldness was really putting you on edge. “Are you okay?” The innocent question slipped past your lips without so much as a thought and suddenly his fiery gaze met your own and he took several steps forward, getting in your personal space.

You wanted to step back, but Yoongi’s reminder earlier to not apologize filled your ears and you forced yourself to stand your ground. “Oh, I’m just peachy. Why are you asking? It’s not like you actually care, right?” His voice was rising and you felt anxiety twist in your gut as the others by the pool table started to look over and watch the spectacle. “Jungkook, calm down.” Yoongi’s deep rumble to your left reminded you he, Jimin and Hoseok were also present. The latter spoke up also, attempting to soothe the other as he reached out to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Jungkook, where is this-” 

The irritated boy shrugged him off and continued, ruthlessly. “You’re just acting nice because you’re scared of us!” He accused and you swallowed, as, despite your best attempts to hide your fear, he was right to some extent. Who wouldn’t be? “Come on. Prove me wrong!!” He was pretty much screaming in your face now as he harshly grabbed your wrist and held it up. You didn’t see it happen but the others immediately tensed up, getting ready to act if he took it too far. He sneered at you, his soft, boyish features full of nothing but hatred and disgust. “You’re shaking like a leaf. Nothing to say?” You steeled yourself, feeling your own blood starting to boil. You didn’t ask for this to happen, didn’t ask to be thrust into this so-called “family”. “L-Let go of me, now!” Your voice broke but your eyes were alight with your own fury as you forced your voice to rise. He smirked cockily then and leaned even closer to your face. “Make me, little girl.”

You lost it. You’d never been one for shouting, or fighting in general for that matter but you had a feeling you were going to need to change that. You were going to need to change a lot of things. You ignored the pain clutching your heart like a vice and hissed at him. “You think I asked for this, you little brat!? You think I wanted to be brought here, forced into a life I never asked for!?” His loudness exceeded yours with ease, as you weren’t used to shouting like this. “Some of us didn’t get that choice! You should be grateful Namjoon even let you join the family! If it were up to me you’d be dead!”

Tears burned your eyes and fell even as you continued shouting, now the loudest you could manage. “I had a family, and she’s dead because you couldn’t protect her!!! You’re supposed to be a bodyguard, aren’t you? The muscle?” A loud crack filled the room, then and you coughed, dazed from his hard slap. You looked up and the smug smile he sent your way, even as Jimin restrained his free hand gave you the strength you needed as you continued on. You spat the blood that filled your mouth at the harsh hit onto him as you tugged at your captive wrist for further emphasis. “Well, where was this strength when my Mother died, bleeding to death, helpless as she was slaughtered in cold blood!?” You didn’t even realize your other hand had risen until it was caught by another's firm, but not painful grip.

Namjoon spoke up then, not releasing your wrist as he met Jungkook’s gaze. “Jimin, get him out of here, now. We’ll talk about this later. Hoseok.” Your mentor was by your side immediately. “Get her cleaned up and then take her to Yoongi’s room.” You wanted to sleep in Hoseok’s room again tonight but figured it best to keep your mouth shut. You opened your mouth, only to shut it again as you recalled Yoongi’s warning. You still ached with the urge to apologize, but the bitter taste of your own blood on your tongue mingling with the saltiness of your tears reaffirmed your decision to keep quiet.

Was this truly what your life had become?

“I just can’t believe he assaulted you like that! Since Namjoon probably won’t make the little bastard apologize, I certainly will!” Hoseok ranted as he tended to your injured cheek and mouth. The sudden hit had more than enough force behind it to have your cheek swelling, and your lip was still bleeding a bit from your teeth cutting into them so hard at the slap. Hoseok had been ranting to you for a while but he suddenly quieted at the sound of a knock on the door. “Come in!” He called, and you didn’t even bother to look up, scared to see who it was. Your mind was still reeling from how angry you’d been. You’d even shouted! You’d never screamed that loud before in your life. It was...strange, to put it lightly.

“Hey. Glad to see you’re not too banged up. Jungkook hit you pretty damn hard.” You finally raised your head and felt a bit relieved to see it was Yoongi and not Namjoon or Jungkook. You forced yourself to nod, and opened your mouth to speak, only for nothing to come out. You frowned and cleared your throat, finally managing to get your voice to work. “Yeah, I’m fine. What brings you here? Hoseok was about to take me back to your room.” Your voice was noticeably weaker and you felt an urge to hit the smirk that twitched at Yoongi’s lips. “Not really much of a screamer, are you?” You didn’t catch the dark humor under his words and hesitantly shook your head, as Hoseok snorted at the double-edged meaning.

“Well, try not to worry too much. I’ll have Jin whip you up some tea. He’s got a recipe that’ll help with your voice. Just so you know, I won’t be back until late. I’ve got some business to take care of, so make yourself comfortable.” Yoongi muttered, before turning on his heel and making his way back towards the door. Hoseok finally finished up and you jumped at the sudden sound of Yoongi’s voice, surprised he was still there. “Don’t touch any of my belongings or get any stupid ideas. I’ll notice if you do, and I’d hate to have you on my table.” A full body shiver went through you and you whirled to look back at him only to see the door closing shut.

“Heh.” You looked back over at Hoseok who was smiling fondly and shaking his head. “That’s Yoongi for you. Don’t let him get you scared. As long as you listen to what he says you’ll be fine. Okay?” He shot a bright smile your way and you couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped you at the familiar sight. Hoseok was the only constant in this godforsaken place.

You’d seen him sometimes as a child when your Mother would get injured and he’d drive her home so your relationship with him already had a strong base. You always based your relationships on your personal experience with the person, rather than what others said, but since he was one of the closest with your Mom out of the boys, it definitely made it easier to warm up to him. Your Mom never told you anything about the mafia of course, but she did regularly tell you stories about her 7 long-term patients. Your heart pulsed with pain at the realization that she was readying you for this situation, even then.

Still, you forced a smile onto your face and nodded at Hoseok. Surely if he trusted him, Yoongi couldn’t be all that bad. “Okay.” Still, you couldn’t help but be a little nervous at the thought of staying with someone you knew next to nothing about. After all, lead interrogator wasn’t very reassuring. Sure they all had jobs in the mafia and did some pretty twisted things, but just thinking of the things he probably did to people on a day to day basis had you cringing. You hadn’t talked to him much, but he seemed so emotionless too. He was so...cold. It would definitely take some getting used to.

“Ready to go honey?” The sweet nickname made you smile as you nodded, hopping off the examination table with the help of Hoseok who led you out and upstairs and to one of the many simple black doors with fancy crystal door knobs. Hoseok turned uncharacteristically serious and you listened attentively. “This is his room. When you go in, it’s imperative that you lock the door immediately after. Jin should be up soon but check through the eye hole there first. Don’t open the door for anyone else under any circumstances unless it’s me, Namjoon or Jimin, alright? Yoongi has a key.” He waved you in with the return of his grin and you locked the door as he had instructed.

Alone with your thoughts, at last, you let yourself finally relax, cracking your neck and back with a relieved sigh. ‘It’s hard to believe this is my life now. I actually almost hit someone…’ You winced at the memory, even as the anger returned. ‘I don’t know what that kid’s problem is. I was just trying to be nice and he was suddenly all up in my space. I’ve never been that close to a guy before, come to think of it.’ You blushed at the sudden memory of his face so close to yours, then cursed yourself for it. You despised how easily you could get flustered sometimes, honestly. ‘That little brat doesn’t deserve to make you embarrassed! Get ahold of yourself Y/N!’ You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself and opened your eyes after a moment when you felt calmer, deciding to look around at the room you’d be staying in.

It was simple, with mainly black, white, brown and red everywhere, no bright colors to be seen in the furniture or objects. There was a keyboard in one corner of the room which made you raise an eyebrow but you decided not to question it and instead grinned at the sight of the nearby bookcase. You wouldn’t call yourself an avid reader by any means, but you’d always admired the power books had to draw you into another world and make you forget all about whatever situation you were currently in. Upon glancing over a few of the titles, however, your grin quickly faded and you instead grew a bit uneasy. It shouldn’t have been too surprising, but Yoongi’s books were mainly centered around psychology, interrogation, and torture. You quickly averted your gaze from the books and instead turned your attention to the closet, opening it to find many expensive looking suits, shirts, and pants. You reached out a hand to feel the material only to hear Yoongi’s voice echo.’

“Don’t touch any of my belongings or get any stupid ideas. I’ll notice if you do, and I’d hate to have you on my table.”

You drew your hand back as if you’d been burned, a shot of icy fear running through you before a sharp knock made you flinch. You held your hand to your heart before taking a deep breath to collect yourself for whoever was at the door. You approached and called on your way. “Coming, one second please!” You looked through the eye hole and smiled in relief when you saw it was only Jin, currently chuckling at something you’d said as he held a  cup and saucer in one hand and a bag in the other. You unlocked the door and waved him inside. “So, you’re actually staying in Yoongi’s room huh? Jeez, I wish you luck. That guy’s pretty much an icicle in human form.” He joked and you found yourself smiling, already liking this side of him better than the one you’d met earlier. He seemed to notice this as well, and his eyes softened a bit as he held out the cup for you to take, placing the saucer down himself on the nearby nightstand. “Yoongi said your voice was nearly gone. Best not let Jungkook see you like that, or he’ll never let you live it down. Here, my own homemade remedy. Honey and ginger work wonders and I added sugar too since you seem the type to like it sweet.”

You nodded eagerly and carefully took the glass from his, tentatively taking a sip and nearly moaning at how good it tasted. You cleared your throat to make your voice work better. “This is wonderful, thank you.” Your voice croaked on the last words and you blushed as he laughed, chuckling quietly yourself as his laugh was quite infectious. “You’ve got a pretty laugh there, giggles, I do hope I'll be hearing it more often.” He teased you lightly, a playful smirk adorning his lips before he continued. “In any case, you’re quite welcome, I hope it’ll help. It sounds like you really need it. I’ll let you get some rest though since it’s quite late. Namjoon gave me these for you.” You put the cup down on the saucer as he handed you the bag. You looked inside only to gasp as you saw the quality, quickly trying to hand it back to him. “I-I can’t wear this!!” You squeaked out, eyes wide.

He smirked and rolled his eyes. “Just take it, will you? If for nothing else, do it for Yoongi.” That made you blink in confusion and he snickered at your reaction, answering your unasked question so you wouldn’t have to use your voice. “You didn’t think he’d sleep on the floor, did you? He’ll kill you if you get in his bed with those clothes.” You whirled to look at the bed and indeed there was only one. A quick scan of the room confirmed your fear that there wasn’t a couch in sight either. “B-But-” You tried to protest, cheeks scarlet from the realization but he was already slipping out of the room. “No buts! Leave your dirty clothes by the door, Yoongi will put them out to be washed when he gets back tonight I’m sure. Sleep well and get plenty of rest!” He was gone before you could try and say anything more, making sure to lock the door before he left.

You looked down at the bag still clutched in your grip and sighed in defeat as you pulled out the pajamas and clothes for the next day. The material was so soft you’d be out cold in seconds. Sneaking a glance at the bed, you had to admit that it too looked really comfortable. But you were admittedly a bit worried about sleeping in the same bed with a guy you literally just met. You headed to the bathroom, admiring how clean everything was, all but shining from how white it was. Unlike the bedroom, here it was entirely monochrome, and you closed the door for extra privacy, quickly stripping down and slipping the pajamas on, sighing at how nice they felt on your skin. You liked the shade of purple they were, and the black lace trim added a risque touch you didn’t pay too much attention to. 

You exited the bathroom and walked over to the black nightstand to finish off your tea, noticing the corner of a piece of paper peeking out from underneath the saucer that Jin must’ve placed. You picked it up and read it over curiously. ‘Hey, this is Jimin! I didn’t want to bother you since I figured you’d probably not want many visitors but I wanted you to know that I hope you feel better! I’m really sorry about Jungkook, I have no idea what caused him to lash out at you, but I promise he’s not typically like that. I’m sure he’ll apologize soon. In the meantime, try not to let it worry you too much. Sweet dreams doll! ;)’

You stifled a small laugh at his little drawn on winky face and smiled fondly as you yawned, turning off the lights before crawling into bed, your prior worries fading away along with all your stress, the feeling of the soft bed and comfy pillows making your mind turn to your other senses. Instead, your thoughts turned to the silken grey sheets underneath the warm burgundy comforter. To the lingering scent of cinnamon, smoke and natural soap that tickled your nose. Maybe life here wouldn’t be quite so unbearable. At least you had some considerate friends in this unpredictable place. Your eyes finally fluttered closed and you fell asleep much quicker than you thought you would, all thanks to Jimin’s considerate reassurance.

[otakufander]

I'm Fine

Summary: Deceit got sick and the others help him. That's literally it.

Warnings: sickness, nausea mention, food mention, fainting, let me know if I missed any.

Relationships: platonic DLAMP

Authors notes: I have absolutely no idea where this came from. I just sat down, let my brain do it's thing, and this was the result. I love writing sick fics for some reason. I hope you like it, if anyone actually reads this.

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“I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.” Is what Deceit had been telling himself for two days but then he remembered that he doesn’t speak in lies. His heat lamp that he has over his bed had broken sometime during the night a few days ago. Being half cold blooded he needed that lamp to keep him properly warm. He woke up the next morning feeling terrible. He was shaking, he was burning up on the human side and freezing on the snake side, his stomach was rebelling against him, his throat felt like sandpaper, he felt light headed and faint just standing, he felt horribly weak and he had passed out three times in the past two days. He had already had a head cold when he went to bed that night. He thought the lamp would help him, he had been in too deep a sleep to notice it had broken.

He had little blankets in his room because being half cold blooded he couldn’t properly make his own heat so he didn’t see a need for them, big mistake. He wasn’t Creativity so he couldn’t just think up another lightbulb and he was too sick to even try at the moment.

The only way to get a new lightbulb or blankets was to go ask the light sides or the dark sides. Displaying weakness in front of either seemed like a bad idea to him at the time. He snuck out of his room to try and find some blankets and maybe some medicine if he could find it.

He walked up to the light sides Commons, it wasn't a good idea to do the rising and sinking thing in his current condition. It seemed a lot safer to take from the light sides than the dark, he really didn't fancy getting a knife plunged into his thigh by Malice again.

He walked into the light sides bathroom and found some medicine. He then reached for the blankets on the shelf in the closet, but a wave of dizziness washed over him sending him falling to the ground with a thud. He laid there trying to get back up but he was too weak, he couldn't sink out, he just laid there until he blacked out to the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway.

~

Virgil was sitting in his bedroom waiting for Patton to call him down for breakfast. He heard a thump come from the bathroom, him being anxiety, went to check it out. What he wasn't expecting was to find Deceit passed out on the floor in yellow snake print pj's, his face flushed, and a medicine bottle on the floor.

“Dee what happened, what's wrong, what are you doing up here, are you alright?!” Virgil said panicked running to his side. He lifted Deceit's head onto his lap and grabbed his hand with is.

Patton then called Virgil for breakfast. “Virgil kiddo, pancakes are done! Come get them while they're hot!“ Patton called up. “Patton somethings wrong, get Logan and Roman!!“ Virgil shouted in a slight panic. The sound of three pairs of footsteps running up the stairs came soon after. “Virgil where are you!?” Logan yelled. “We're in the bathroom!” Virgil called back.

The three ran into the bathroom to see Virgil holding an unconscious Deceit in his arms. “What happened, what's he doing here?” Roman asked with a suspicious look toward the unconscious side. “His human half is burning up. He's sick clearly, if the dropped medicine is anything to go by.” Virgil said leaning over to pick up the medicine. Deceit started to stir, if only slightly.

“Deceit kiddo are you alright? Can you answer us? Can you squeeze my hand?” Patton asked kneeling down and taking Deceit's other hand. Deceit slightly turned his head to try to look at Patton, made a weak groan, and tried to squeeze his hand but it was shaky and weak. He then lost consciousness again.

“The best course of action would be to take him to the Commons to take care of him. And before you say anything Roman, he is a side, a part of Thomas, Thomas can't function without him, no matter what he has done he requires help in his current state.” Logan said before Roman could protest. Roman looked down at the snake like side in Virgil's arms his expression softening.

They all set to work. Roman took Deceit from Virgil and took him down to the Commons. Patton set up the couch and went to make soup and get a wet cloth. Logan went to get stronger medication and inform Thomas about the situation. Virgil went to Deceit's room to get something that he wouldn't tell the others about. Patton all but squealed when Virgil popped in holding an adorable snake plushy, which he placed next to Deceit who wrapped his arms around it absentmindedly. Patton totally didn't snap a few pictures.

~

Deceit didn't know what was happening for a while after he passed out. All he knew was he woke up around sunset on the couch in the light sides Commons cuddling Sir Sneak his plushy with Virgil sitting on the ground in front of him scrolling through Tumblr. Under normal circumstances he would have sunk out or run but he was to weak to do anything other than groan. “Virge?” He croaked out weakly. “Hey Dee, how you feelin?” Virgil asked turning around to face him. “Great. What's going on, why am I here?” Deceit asked. “I found you passed out on the bathroom floor. When you came to you were barely coherent. You couldn’t even squeeze Patton’s hand. We took your temperature and your fever was peaking, that's probably why you passed out, you we're at 102.5. We brought you down to the living room and you’ve been sleeping ever since.” Virgil explained.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why didn't you all help me? After all I haven't done, why didn't you help? Especially you, I thought you liked me.” Deceit said confused. “What you did wasn’t great, but your still part of Thomas, there was no way we were leaving you in that state.” Virgil said with a slight smile.

“Hey kiddo how's- OH! Deceit your awake, how ya feelin kiddo?” Patton asked walking to Deceit's side. “Great.” Deceit groaned. “Like how bad kiddo? What are your symptoms?” Patton asked kneeling down beside him. “No headache, fine throat, stomach doesn't hurt, no chills, strength, clear nose, nothing hurts and I don't feel dizzy and faint.” Deceit listed off. “Ok so headache, sore throat, stomach pain, chills, weakness, blocked nose, bodily pain, and you feel dizzy and faint. Would that be a correct listing of symptoms?” Logan asked from the doorway. “No.” Deceit croaked rolling onto his side holding his stomach and cuddling his snake.

“How long have you been like this kiddo and did you take any medicine before you passed out kiddo?” Patton asked running his fingers through Deceit's hair. “It hasn't been about two days.” Deceit crooked. “Two days!!“ Patton said shocked. “You clearly needed help why didn't you ask us or even the others?” “I didn't think you would turn me away. And I asked the others because I fancy Malice shoving a knife in my back because I'm strong enough to defend myself.” Deceit said. Patton and Logan looked shocked and Virgil just looked away like he knew that feeling.

Just then Roman walked in holding a bowl of chicken noodle soup, medicine, and cough syrup. “Hello Jeckle and Lied how are you feeling?” Roman asked in a surprisingly soft tone. “Great Princey.” Deceit said weakly and raspy.

“Have you eaten today kiddo?” Patton asked still running his fingers through Deceit's hair. “Yes I think I can keep things down.” Deceit said with a groan holding his stomach. “Never fear my slippery sneak, I will go fetch you ginger ale for your rebelling stomach!” Roman announced unnecessarily loud. Deceit winced from his headache and rubbed his temple. “Roman please be more quiet he has a really bad headache.” Virgil said giving him a glare. “Sorry Deceit.” Roman said with surprising sincerity. He walked out to get the ginger ale.

They got Deceit to take the medicine and cough syrup. Roman came back with the ginger ale and after a bit of coaxing from Virgil he tried it, it did help slightly.

~

“You should try to get some sleep kiddo.” Patton said. They had all had shifted around. Patton was on the couch with Deceit's head on his lap still running his fingers through his hair. Deceit was bleping with the relaxing finger strokes and it was adorable. Logan and Roman were hanging out on the other side of the couch. Virgil was sitting on the floor leaned against the couch.

“I think I can.” Deceit croaked. “Everything still doesn't hurt.” “Oh kiddo. Would you like one of us to get you some painkillers? It would help you sleep. We could put on some movies too.” Patton said sweetly. Deceit made a noise of agreement. “Good, Logan would you go get some painkillers please? Roman, could you go pick a movie to watch? And Virgil, would you please set up the tv?” Patton asked. “Of course.” Logan said getting up and walking out of the room. “Definitely my soft little puffball!” Roman announced getting up and rushing to his room. “Sure Dad.” Virgil said getting off the ground and walking over to the tv.

About twenty minutes into Aladdin the painkillers started to take effect. Deceit was starting to doze off in Patton's lap, but he still didn't trust falling asleep around anyone so he still tried to fight it off. Patton noticed him fighting to stay awake.

“Kiddo you really should sleep. Nothing will happen to you while your here, I promise.” Patton said with sweet sincerity. Deceit being able to detect lies heard none in his voice. The others overheard and they all assured him that he is safe with them and they won't let the others get him again. Hearing no lies in their voices and finally being able to relax Deceit finally fell asleep cuddling Sir. Snek to the feeling of fingers in his hair and on his scales and to the tune of “A Whole New World” playing in the background. He finally felt safe.

[24hourchampagnediet-blog1]

We're proof you can eat to beat illness: These five people transformed their health

New Post has been published on https://bestrawfoodrecipes.com/were-proof-you-can-eat-to-beat-illness-these-five-people-transformed-their-health/

We're proof you can eat to beat illness: These five people transformed their health

Given a alternative, would you quite take a tablet or tweak your breakfast? Everyone knows balanced weight loss program types the idea of fine well being. However for a rising variety of individuals, what and the way they eat is doing greater than that — it’s serving to them fight power circumstances.

Utilizing meals as medication on this approach is the main focus of an excellent new collection, beginning subsequent week within the Every day Mail, by world-renowned knowledgeable Dr William Li, a Harvard biochemist and medical physician. He’ll define how one can eat to beat a wide range of complaints, from arthritis to bronchial asthma and despair to dementia.

That is a part of a month of life-changing guides within the Mail written by main consultants, which can take a look at how one can take management of your well being.

Left: Alison James, a theatre nurse who was recognized with hypertension and introduced it down by ditching processed meals. Proper: Lee Morgan, 40, has managed his epilepsy with the excessive fats/ low fats medical ketogenic weight loss program beneath strict supervision of a specialist dietitian

We launch this Saturday with a singular Good Well being for Life wellness journal devised by TV’s revered medical consultants Dr Chris van Tulleken and Dr Xand van Tulleken. It will present you easy tweaks you may make to your on a regular basis life to realize a brand new, more healthy you.

And for inspiration about simply what a distinction altering your weight loss program could make, learn how these 5 individuals beat their power circumstances just by altering their meals decisions.

THE HIGH-FAT ROUTE TO CONTROL EPILEPSY 

Lee Morgan, 40, is a pupil and lives in Plymouth. He says:

I’ve been taking anti-epilepsy medicine each day since I used to be recognized, aged 16. I’ve tried many sorts however they by no means stopped my seizures fully, and would go away me with horrible side-effects, reminiscent of drowsiness.

Three years in the past the medicine I used to be prescribed had been making me really feel like a zombie — I labored in buyer companies on the time and will barely converse coherently on the cellphone.

Left: Liquorice root can assist gastritis – an irritation of the liner of the abdomen (file picture) Proper: Celery is assumed to ease arthritis

The Central American Bushmaster, a venomous pit viper snake, is assumed to assist with the menopause (proper) and the Valerian herb flower sprigs is a treatment for insomnia (left)

I wished to return off the medicine, so noticed my specialist, who urged I be weaned off one of many drugs (I continued to take two others) and check out a ketogenic weight loss program — a low-carbohydrate, high-fat programme which has been proven to enhance management of epilepsy.

I used to be sceptical however agreed to attempt it. From then on I’d have not more than 20g of carbohydrates a day — which I initially weighed out utilizing kitchen scales — and nearly all of my meals consumption got here from fat.

Extra veg and a probiotic drink tackled my rosacea 

Graham Sullivan, 59, is an organization director, and lives together with his spouse Suzanne, close to Arundel, West Sussex. Graham has two grownup youngsters. He says:

After I look within the mirror now, my pores and skin appears to be like so clear that it’s exhausting to imagine it’s actually me.

For 30 years I’ve lived with the pores and skin situation rosacea. I’ve tried all types: different Chinese language cures, steroid lotions — I’ve spent hundreds on therapies however none helped. A few 12 months in the past I noticed dermatologist Dr Justine Hextall, who gave me a laser remedy to eliminate thread veins. However she additionally stated altering my weight loss program — slicing down on sugar and booze — and taking probiotics would assist.

I did have a candy tooth: I might get via a family-sized bag of Maltesers and half a packet of biscuits a day. This, she stated, was encouraging irritation and making the rosacea worse. I took probiotics and made positive my meals had been extra healthful — oily fish to assist with the irritation and extra veg for good intestine well being. My pores and skin is one of the best it’s been in a long time, and I not want remedy.

EXPERT COMMENT: Dr Hextall, a guide dermatologist on the Tarrant Road Clinic in Arundel, stated: ‘We know alcohol and spicy food can be triggers for rosacea — they encourage inflammation, which causes flushing. There have been some encouraging small studies involving probiotics and rosacea [one Italian study found a group of patients who took probiotics with their medication had more improvement of their symptoms than those taking medication alone]. It may change the type of bacteria flourishing in the gut, having a knock-on effect on inflammation. I usually recommend the probiotic Symprove, as well as a general improvement to diet.’  

It was a reasonably drastic change as I’d beforehand eaten numerous bread, chips and pasta. However to my shock, I by no means felt hungry as a result of I used to be consuming extra fat, which stuffed me up.

My meals now encompass hen or oily fish reminiscent of salmon, with salad leaves or avocado.

Extremely, my critical seizures stopped nearly instantly — I’ve had no blackouts since I began the weight loss program three years in the past.

The drowsiness and different side-effects have gone, too, and this 12 months I diminished one in every of my anti-epileptic medicine down from six tablets a day to 2, beneath the supervision of a neurologist.

I’ve grow to be so serious about how diets can change your well being, that I’m now in my second 12 months of a level in dietetics. I’ve additionally misplaced 3st, dropping from 16st 7lb to 13st 7lb.

EXPERT COMMENT: ‘The keto diet is individually prescribed as an add-on therapy for those with uncontrolled epilepsy,’ says Sue Wooden, a specialist ketogenic dietitian with the charity Matthew’s Associates. ‘Roughly 50 per cent of sufferers on a supervised medical keto weight loss program obtain a 50 per cent discount in seizures.

‘It’s thought to boost mind reserves and stabilise mind electrical energy which, in flip, reduces susceptibility to seizures.’

Professor Helen Cross, an epilepsy specialist at Nice Ormond Road Hospital in London, says: ‘The aim is for patients to eventually come off the diet, and around 80 per cent manage to do this without their epilepsy worsening.’

CUT OUT SUGARS TO BEAT IBS

Savannah Humphreys, 25, is a yoga instructor who lives in Hale, Cheshire. She says:

Regardless of being slim, some days excessive bloating would make me look three months pregnant. I’d additionally get frequent constipation, and if I used to be careworn, I’d undergo cramps and diarrhoea.

The bloating made me self-conscious, so I’d solely put on dishevelled garments; and the discomfort made me moody. It wasn’t till final 12 months — after eight years of intestine issues — that I noticed a GP. I’d obtained into yoga and realised it wasn’t proper that my tummy felt so tight on a regular basis. The GP did some checks to rule out different circumstances and informed me I had irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).

Left: Black tea is understood to assist diarrhoea whereas tangerine is assumed to stem IBS signs

He beneficial I attempt the low FODMAP weight loss program [FODMAP stands for fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides and polyols], the place you chop out sure sugars and carbohydrates which can be damaged down by the intestine and fermented by micro organism that launch gasoline, which might trigger bloating and ache.

I consulted a dietitian privately. She stated individuals react in a different way to sugars in meals, so I’d must undertake a trial-and-error strategy to search out my drawback gadgets.

I reduce out numerous meals for 4 to 6 weeks, together with wheat, broccoli, onions, milk, honey and apples; it was fairly in depth. I’d have meat and fish with low FODMAP greens reminiscent of lettuce, peppers and aubergines, and was allowed exhausting cheese, however not mushy, creamy ones. After about 12 days I had a flat abdomen for the primary time in my life.

Savannah Humphreys, 25, is a yoga instructor who lives in Hale, Cheshire

After six weeks, the dietitian stated I ought to begin to reintroduce meals, one group at a time, to see what would set off my IBS.

I found I reacted badly to sugary fruits reminiscent of mangoes, watermelon and apples, in addition to honey, caffeinated drinks and inexperienced leafy greens. Wholegrain bread and pasta are OK so long as I don’t eat an excessive amount of.

I’ve caught to the weight loss program for the previous 12 months. Typically I’ll react to restaurant meals or stress, however for essentially the most half I’m symptom-free.

EXPERT COMMENT: Kirsten Jackson, a guide gastroenterology dietitian at The Meals Therapy Clinic in Manchester, says: ‘The low FODMAP weight loss program works for IBS — at the least ten high-quality trials involving a whole lot of sufferers have confirmed this. FODMAP meals journey to the big bowel, the place they’re damaged down by intestine micro organism and fermented. This produces gasoline, inflicting bloating and ache in individuals with delicate guts.

‘However understanding which FODMAP meals you might be delicate to is difficult, and the weight loss program is initially restrictive. An knowledgeable dietitian can assist you keep away from deficiencies and information you thru the reintroduction part.’

DITCH SALT TO CUT BLOOD PRESSURE

Alison James, 56, is an working theatre nurse, who lives with husband David, 60, a retired civil servant, and son Connor, 23, in Belfast. She says:

Two years in the past my weight hit 15st (I’m 5ft 5in, which made my physique mass index 35: ‘obese’) and my blood stress was shockingly excessive at 170/90 [a normal reading is 120/80].

My GP wished to prescribe ACE inhibitors, drugs that loosen up blood vessels to cut back blood stress. However I requested if I might attempt to get my blood stress down by altering my weight loss program and taking extra train. He agreed and stated I had three months to show it round or begin medicine.

I found the DASH (dietary strategy to stopping hypertension) weight loss program, the place you chop out salt and eat extra fruit and greens (which include potassium to decrease blood stress) and wholegrains (to assist weight reduction).

I switched from white to wholemeal bread and restricted myself to 2 slices a day. I began having fruit for breakfast and for snacks, salads at lunch and a great deal of greens with my night meal.

David additionally adopted the weight loss program to assist me. It was tough at first, however we quickly tailored and truly loved cooking collectively. I additionally began working.

Inside three months my blood stress was 130/72. Two years on I’ve misplaced nearly 4st and my blood stress is 117/70. I’m stunned at how straightforward it’s to reverse such a harmful situation.

EXPERT COMMENT: ‘The DASH diet is a low-salt diet, and one of the best ways to reduce your blood pressure, the leading cause of cardiovascular disease,’ says Graham MacGregor, a professor of cardiovascular medication and chairman of the charity Blood Strain UK. ‘Additionally it is excessive in fibre and potassium, and low in saturated fats and sugar — all

confirmed to decrease the danger of coronary heart illness, together with train and never smoking.’

EATING OFTEN TO BEAT MIGRAINES

Rachel Alderson, 50, is a dietary therapist and lives in Chiswick, West London, along with her daughter, Georgia, 12 weeks. She says:

For years, my migraines had been so horrendous that I used to be simply surviving, not dwelling. I had one three or 4 occasions per week, every lasting 24 hours or extra.

I’ve tried quite a few drugs together with triptans, which are supposed to cease an assault. They helped among the time, however gave me side-effects reminiscent of a dry mouth.

Rachel Alderson, 50, is a dietary therapist and lives in Chiswick, West London, along with her daughter, Georgia, 12 weeks

I used to be often waking between 3am and 5am with the beginning of a migraine. I went to the Nationwide Migraine Centre, a charity in London. They stated starvation was pre-empting the assaults. So I ought to eat a banana if I woke at 3am to cease my physique from considering it was ravenous. Doing that basically helped.

Since then I’ve been making different modifications to my weight loss program and I really feel I’ve lastly cracked it. For instance, consuming a variety of carbs tends to depart me susceptible to migraines, so I’ve switched to a extra protein-based weight loss program: I’ve porridge and nuts for breakfast, and lunch is now hen or egg salad as an alternative of a ham sandwich. Alcohol and caffeine may also set off assaults.

I’ve had solely two migraines in three months and their severity has diminished, so I’m taking much less medicine. The migraines not management me.

EXPERT COMMENT: ‘Irregular mealtimes, with big gaps between, are a common cause of migraines,’ says Dr Andrew Dowson, a specialist for the East Kent NHS Headache Service.

‘After consuming, the physique makes use of up glucose from the bloodstream for power. If that runs out, it turns to shops within the muscular tissues, then the liver and eventually it burns fats.

‘It’s thought that it’s the change between these power sources that may set off a migraine in some individuals, so preserving to common mealtimes that assist keep away from these switches could be helpful.

‘Alcohol is a standard set off. Some are delicate to the alcohol itself, be it wine or beer; for others, it’s the after-effects that alcohol causes — reminiscent of dehydration or decrease fluid ranges — that act because the set off.

‘Caffeine is one other wrongdoer, however that is extra advanced. Some discover a robust espresso can assist abort a migraine. However in the event you drink it too usually, it could possibly make assaults worse.’ 

Source link Keto Diet Drinks

[fuckyeahtattoogirls-blog1]

We're proof you can eat to beat illness: These five people transformed their health

New Post has been published on https://bestrawfoodrecipes.com/were-proof-you-can-eat-to-beat-illness-these-five-people-transformed-their-health/

We're proof you can eat to beat illness: These five people transformed their health

Given a alternative, would you quite take a tablet or tweak your breakfast? Everyone knows balanced weight loss program types the idea of fine well being. However for a rising variety of individuals, what and the way they eat is doing greater than that — it’s serving to them fight power circumstances.

Utilizing meals as medication on this approach is the main focus of an excellent new collection, beginning subsequent week within the Every day Mail, by world-renowned knowledgeable Dr William Li, a Harvard biochemist and medical physician. He’ll define how one can eat to beat a wide range of complaints, from arthritis to bronchial asthma and despair to dementia.

That is a part of a month of life-changing guides within the Mail written by main consultants, which can take a look at how one can take management of your well being.

Left: Alison James, a theatre nurse who was recognized with hypertension and introduced it down by ditching processed meals. Proper: Lee Morgan, 40, has managed his epilepsy with the excessive fats/ low fats medical ketogenic weight loss program beneath strict supervision of a specialist dietitian

We launch this Saturday with a singular Good Well being for Life wellness journal devised by TV’s revered medical consultants Dr Chris van Tulleken and Dr Xand van Tulleken. It will present you easy tweaks you may make to your on a regular basis life to realize a brand new, more healthy you.

And for inspiration about simply what a distinction altering your weight loss program could make, learn how these 5 individuals beat their power circumstances just by altering their meals decisions.

THE HIGH-FAT ROUTE TO CONTROL EPILEPSY 

Lee Morgan, 40, is a pupil and lives in Plymouth. He says:

I’ve been taking anti-epilepsy medicine each day since I used to be recognized, aged 16. I’ve tried many sorts however they by no means stopped my seizures fully, and would go away me with horrible side-effects, reminiscent of drowsiness.

Three years in the past the medicine I used to be prescribed had been making me really feel like a zombie — I labored in buyer companies on the time and will barely converse coherently on the cellphone.

Left: Liquorice root can assist gastritis – an irritation of the liner of the abdomen (file picture) Proper: Celery is assumed to ease arthritis

The Central American Bushmaster, a venomous pit viper snake, is assumed to assist with the menopause (proper) and the Valerian herb flower sprigs is a treatment for insomnia (left)

I wished to return off the medicine, so noticed my specialist, who urged I be weaned off one of many drugs (I continued to take two others) and check out a ketogenic weight loss program — a low-carbohydrate, high-fat programme which has been proven to enhance management of epilepsy.

I used to be sceptical however agreed to attempt it. From then on I’d have not more than 20g of carbohydrates a day — which I initially weighed out utilizing kitchen scales — and nearly all of my meals consumption got here from fat.

Extra veg and a probiotic drink tackled my rosacea 

Graham Sullivan, 59, is an organization director, and lives together with his spouse Suzanne, close to Arundel, West Sussex. Graham has two grownup youngsters. He says:

After I look within the mirror now, my pores and skin appears to be like so clear that it’s exhausting to imagine it’s actually me.

For 30 years I’ve lived with the pores and skin situation rosacea. I’ve tried all types: different Chinese language cures, steroid lotions — I’ve spent hundreds on therapies however none helped. A few 12 months in the past I noticed dermatologist Dr Justine Hextall, who gave me a laser remedy to eliminate thread veins. However she additionally stated altering my weight loss program — slicing down on sugar and booze — and taking probiotics would assist.

I did have a candy tooth: I might get via a family-sized bag of Maltesers and half a packet of biscuits a day. This, she stated, was encouraging irritation and making the rosacea worse. I took probiotics and made positive my meals had been extra healthful — oily fish to assist with the irritation and extra veg for good intestine well being. My pores and skin is one of the best it’s been in a long time, and I not want remedy.

EXPERT COMMENT: Dr Hextall, a guide dermatologist on the Tarrant Road Clinic in Arundel, stated: ‘We know alcohol and spicy food can be triggers for rosacea — they encourage inflammation, which causes flushing. There have been some encouraging small studies involving probiotics and rosacea [one Italian study found a group of patients who took probiotics with their medication had more improvement of their symptoms than those taking medication alone]. It may change the type of bacteria flourishing in the gut, having a knock-on effect on inflammation. I usually recommend the probiotic Symprove, as well as a general improvement to diet.’  

It was a reasonably drastic change as I’d beforehand eaten numerous bread, chips and pasta. However to my shock, I by no means felt hungry as a result of I used to be consuming extra fat, which stuffed me up.

My meals now encompass hen or oily fish reminiscent of salmon, with salad leaves or avocado.

Extremely, my critical seizures stopped nearly instantly — I’ve had no blackouts since I began the weight loss program three years in the past.

The drowsiness and different side-effects have gone, too, and this 12 months I diminished one in every of my anti-epileptic medicine down from six tablets a day to 2, beneath the supervision of a neurologist.

I’ve grow to be so serious about how diets can change your well being, that I’m now in my second 12 months of a level in dietetics. I’ve additionally misplaced 3st, dropping from 16st 7lb to 13st 7lb.

EXPERT COMMENT: ‘The keto diet is individually prescribed as an add-on therapy for those with uncontrolled epilepsy,’ says Sue Wooden, a specialist ketogenic dietitian with the charity Matthew’s Associates. ‘Roughly 50 per cent of sufferers on a supervised medical keto weight loss program obtain a 50 per cent discount in seizures.

‘It’s thought to boost mind reserves and stabilise mind electrical energy which, in flip, reduces susceptibility to seizures.’

Professor Helen Cross, an epilepsy specialist at Nice Ormond Road Hospital in London, says: ‘The aim is for patients to eventually come off the diet, and around 80 per cent manage to do this without their epilepsy worsening.’

CUT OUT SUGARS TO BEAT IBS

Savannah Humphreys, 25, is a yoga instructor who lives in Hale, Cheshire. She says:

Regardless of being slim, some days excessive bloating would make me look three months pregnant. I’d additionally get frequent constipation, and if I used to be careworn, I’d undergo cramps and diarrhoea.

The bloating made me self-conscious, so I’d solely put on dishevelled garments; and the discomfort made me moody. It wasn’t till final 12 months — after eight years of intestine issues — that I noticed a GP. I’d obtained into yoga and realised it wasn’t proper that my tummy felt so tight on a regular basis. The GP did some checks to rule out different circumstances and informed me I had irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).

Left: Black tea is understood to assist diarrhoea whereas tangerine is assumed to stem IBS signs

He beneficial I attempt the low FODMAP weight loss program [FODMAP stands for fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides and polyols], the place you chop out sure sugars and carbohydrates which can be damaged down by the intestine and fermented by micro organism that launch gasoline, which might trigger bloating and ache.

I consulted a dietitian privately. She stated individuals react in a different way to sugars in meals, so I’d must undertake a trial-and-error strategy to search out my drawback gadgets.

I reduce out numerous meals for 4 to 6 weeks, together with wheat, broccoli, onions, milk, honey and apples; it was fairly in depth. I’d have meat and fish with low FODMAP greens reminiscent of lettuce, peppers and aubergines, and was allowed exhausting cheese, however not mushy, creamy ones. After about 12 days I had a flat abdomen for the primary time in my life.

Savannah Humphreys, 25, is a yoga instructor who lives in Hale, Cheshire

After six weeks, the dietitian stated I ought to begin to reintroduce meals, one group at a time, to see what would set off my IBS.

I found I reacted badly to sugary fruits reminiscent of mangoes, watermelon and apples, in addition to honey, caffeinated drinks and inexperienced leafy greens. Wholegrain bread and pasta are OK so long as I don’t eat an excessive amount of.

I’ve caught to the weight loss program for the previous 12 months. Typically I’ll react to restaurant meals or stress, however for essentially the most half I’m symptom-free.

EXPERT COMMENT: Kirsten Jackson, a guide gastroenterology dietitian at The Meals Therapy Clinic in Manchester, says: ‘The low FODMAP weight loss program works for IBS — at the least ten high-quality trials involving a whole lot of sufferers have confirmed this. FODMAP meals journey to the big bowel, the place they’re damaged down by intestine micro organism and fermented. This produces gasoline, inflicting bloating and ache in individuals with delicate guts.

‘However understanding which FODMAP meals you might be delicate to is difficult, and the weight loss program is initially restrictive. An knowledgeable dietitian can assist you keep away from deficiencies and information you thru the reintroduction part.’

DITCH SALT TO CUT BLOOD PRESSURE

Alison James, 56, is an working theatre nurse, who lives with husband David, 60, a retired civil servant, and son Connor, 23, in Belfast. She says:

Two years in the past my weight hit 15st (I’m 5ft 5in, which made my physique mass index 35: ‘obese’) and my blood stress was shockingly excessive at 170/90 [a normal reading is 120/80].

My GP wished to prescribe ACE inhibitors, drugs that loosen up blood vessels to cut back blood stress. However I requested if I might attempt to get my blood stress down by altering my weight loss program and taking extra train. He agreed and stated I had three months to show it round or begin medicine.

I found the DASH (dietary strategy to stopping hypertension) weight loss program, the place you chop out salt and eat extra fruit and greens (which include potassium to decrease blood stress) and wholegrains (to assist weight reduction).

I switched from white to wholemeal bread and restricted myself to 2 slices a day. I began having fruit for breakfast and for snacks, salads at lunch and a great deal of greens with my night meal.

David additionally adopted the weight loss program to assist me. It was tough at first, however we quickly tailored and truly loved cooking collectively. I additionally began working.

Inside three months my blood stress was 130/72. Two years on I’ve misplaced nearly 4st and my blood stress is 117/70. I’m stunned at how straightforward it’s to reverse such a harmful situation.

EXPERT COMMENT: ‘The DASH diet is a low-salt diet, and one of the best ways to reduce your blood pressure, the leading cause of cardiovascular disease,’ says Graham MacGregor, a professor of cardiovascular medication and chairman of the charity Blood Strain UK. ‘Additionally it is excessive in fibre and potassium, and low in saturated fats and sugar — all

confirmed to decrease the danger of coronary heart illness, together with train and never smoking.’

EATING OFTEN TO BEAT MIGRAINES

Rachel Alderson, 50, is a dietary therapist and lives in Chiswick, West London, along with her daughter, Georgia, 12 weeks. She says:

For years, my migraines had been so horrendous that I used to be simply surviving, not dwelling. I had one three or 4 occasions per week, every lasting 24 hours or extra.

I’ve tried quite a few drugs together with triptans, which are supposed to cease an assault. They helped among the time, however gave me side-effects reminiscent of a dry mouth.

Rachel Alderson, 50, is a dietary therapist and lives in Chiswick, West London, along with her daughter, Georgia, 12 weeks

I used to be often waking between 3am and 5am with the beginning of a migraine. I went to the Nationwide Migraine Centre, a charity in London. They stated starvation was pre-empting the assaults. So I ought to eat a banana if I woke at 3am to cease my physique from considering it was ravenous. Doing that basically helped.

Since then I’ve been making different modifications to my weight loss program and I really feel I’ve lastly cracked it. For instance, consuming a variety of carbs tends to depart me susceptible to migraines, so I’ve switched to a extra protein-based weight loss program: I’ve porridge and nuts for breakfast, and lunch is now hen or egg salad as an alternative of a ham sandwich. Alcohol and caffeine may also set off assaults.

I’ve had solely two migraines in three months and their severity has diminished, so I’m taking much less medicine. The migraines not management me.

EXPERT COMMENT: ‘Irregular mealtimes, with big gaps between, are a common cause of migraines,’ says Dr Andrew Dowson, a specialist for the East Kent NHS Headache Service.

‘After consuming, the physique makes use of up glucose from the bloodstream for power. If that runs out, it turns to shops within the muscular tissues, then the liver and eventually it burns fats.

‘It’s thought that it’s the change between these power sources that may set off a migraine in some individuals, so preserving to common mealtimes that assist keep away from these switches could be helpful.

‘Alcohol is a standard set off. Some are delicate to the alcohol itself, be it wine or beer; for others, it’s the after-effects that alcohol causes — reminiscent of dehydration or decrease fluid ranges — that act because the set off.

‘Caffeine is one other wrongdoer, however that is extra advanced. Some discover a robust espresso can assist abort a migraine. However in the event you drink it too usually, it could possibly make assaults worse.’ 

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