#ok i dont even know why im writing this but i just thought i'd let you know???

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ RECKLESS

["it's a good thing you're not here, because i still havent found my courage."]

| ✮ 4.5 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers ahead]

okayyy let me just start off with WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK WAS THAT ENDING LAUREN???? i'm not okay because of it. like nuh uh get lost. u had no right to do that (im saying this as if it didnt get spoiled for me and i didnt gaslight myself the entire book read that it wasn't going to happen)

i would like to straight up say this seemed like a filler book. just a set up for the next one, it didn't really have all too much plot-wise aside from pae and kai's romance. it was less on the fantasy side and more on the romance but i still enjoyed it a lot. and obviously since it was a filler book there was less character development (for some- im looking at you paedyn)

kai and pae were really cute in this book honestly (and as it mostly focuses on the romance ofc they were) the banter and everything was so wonderful to read i was giggling and kicking my feet wayyy to much. the romance was romancing but also not romancing at the same time (im not even gonna try to explain that just use vibes)

i do feel as though lauren's writing has definitely improved from powerless. she has this whimsical magical style of writing that i love it really takes me into the world of the book (mostly). other times the long sentences were too much in moments. like lauren. we did not need to know the colour of the bricks in the market at this certain moment in time when you'd already explained the colour two pages ago-

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

paedyn - ok i love her. i really do she's such a good fmc BUT for me in this book she was boring-ish. and hella indecisive like girly pop if i had kai talking to me like that i'd be folding so damn fast- but yeah it felt like she didn't have too much character development aside from finding out her dad was actually her dad. also i idk who the fuck she was trying to fool with her 'i hate you' to kai, like be fucking for real bitch no you dont.

kai - ok bye i could write a whole rant on why i love this man. like im sat. this book felt more like kai's book (as powerless felt like pae's) imo we got more on his backstory and i think his character (and povs) were more interesting for me to focus on. also his flirting and little one liners had me giggling and shit my sister actually woke up to me grinning like an idiot under torch light-

kitt - bye idek why i made this section for him. this is going to entirely be hate fr. OKAY WE GET IT DUDE UR A GHOST WHATEVER. OH MY GOSH U MISS UR DAD BUT IN THE NEXT POV U DONT LIKE BITCH CHOOSE A SIDE IDC ABT UR WHINY ASS. ALSO U CLEARLY HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH PAEDYN LIKE FUCKING HELL DUDE SHE IS UR 'MUSE' OR WHATEVER GET OVER YOURSELF. EUGH AND THEN PROPOSING TO HER?? YEAH SURE BUDDY "YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER DIED" MHM YUP OKAY TOTALLYYY *clears throat awkwardly* can you tell i hate him?

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [its like all kai... im not even sorry about it either]

"you are my proof of paradise." - kai

"call us even. call me crazy. i don't care. just... just call me yours." - kai

"under different curcumstances i promise you im much more fun tied up." - kai (WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREECHED AND STARED AT THE PAGE. MALAKAI AZER-)

"just pae and kai." - kai

"she was supposed to be my forever. now i'll watch her become someone else's. because the beast doesn't get the beauty." - kai

jahsdgj i can't wait for the next book hehe

[cupoftaae]

HII i'd like to request prompt 11 "give me time, give us time" for kookiee? and if its ok id like to give u a small plot just in case you dont know how to work with this if thats okay 🥺

so the tiny tannie lil ol plot for this wuld be: jk being a bit of a workaholic (very much so.) and y/n is quite tired of it.. note that this is non!idol and married! :D they had a talk and a cool plot twist wuld be how y/n was actualy planning to surprise him abt being pregnant!!!GASPAND THEN KOOKIE NEVER NOTICED THE SYMPTOMS CUZ HES BEEN WORKING TOO MUCH!!! and like yeah she getzz rlly emotionsl

AND IF ITS OK CAN U GIVE LIKE AN AFTERMATH OF THIS? LIKE 1 OR 2 YEARS AWAY FROM THE ARGUMET? hope this isnt too much 😭

Hello!! oh my goodness this is so amazing, no one has given me a plot to write by, this is really cool and I hope that I do a good enough job portraying this for you! Thank you so much for sending this in <3

La La Land (JK drabble request)

warnings- mentions of drinking, angst, mentions of pregnancy, swearing, couple fighting, fluff, kissing (nothing major) I think thats all?

enjoy <3

"I cant tell, is this a positive or negative?"

Your voice was shaky and frail, holding up the test to your phone camera, trying to show your friend.

"blurry, cant see, read the box y/n. instructions are there" Your friend sighed, in her defense, it was late, and you called her out of slumber- but only because you were totally hyped at the sudden realization that you were finally possibly pregnant.

You and Jungkook had not necessarily been trying, nor necessarily avoiding it.

You both wanted kids, but never really specified when. Considering the fact you have now been married for 2 years, and your relatives are up your ass about when it is that you will have a baby, even though its not their business at all.

You wanted this for you, and today might be the day you get what you wished for.

"You just took it, let it sit for a moment"

you nodded at your friends words as you placed the test onto the bathroom sink, moving your hands to rest on your hips as your teeth tugged at your bottom lip in thought.

"whats on your mind, hun?" she asked

"a lot..." you giggled, drawing your eyes back to her. "If I am, I just hope Kook is happy, thats all I want"

"mm his schedule is so busy"

"I know, work always comes first with him, thats why im nervous. Its not like he told me to take birth control or anything, and we have condoms he just refuses to use one" you snicker

She laughs, "well then yeah what did he expect?"

"but hes a head manager at the company he works at, hes spent so much time climbing the ladder to get there, what if this throws him in a loop?"

"y/n....girl...listen to me, he is partially responsible for this, so he needs to be accepting or I will personally come down there and make him accepting"

You laughed at your friend, thankful you had some humor relief out of all the tension.

"and listen, you are in your 30's, its not like you are 20 years old and unmarried, you know?"

"yeah...youre right...im gonna look now, I think its ready"

"okay"

You gently flipped over the test and held it close to your eyes, a faint blue plus sign appeared, making your heart thump so loud it was audible in your ears.

"holy shit, its positive!"

"its positive?" your friends voice shot up 3 octaves

"YES!!!" you jumped around, wishing jungkook was home right now to show him, instead bathing in the moment with your best friend.

"congratulations, y/n, oh my god im so happy for you!!!"

"thank you!" you wiped a few tears, gripping the test almost as if it wouldnt be real if you let it go. "oh jesus this is so....wow!"

"remember what I said, everything will be okay"

You nodded, taking a deep breath

"everything will be okay, yeah....your right."

-

Everything, in fact, was not alright.

It's been 2 weeks since that night you found out you were pregnant, and everytime you think you are ready to tell Jungkook, something happens.

"oh gotta go babe, they are calling me into work"

"too tired to talk tonight honey, i have to get up at 5am"

"not right now baby, maybe tomorrow?"

It never ended, he was in and out the front door constantly.

It was upsetting that the only time youve had to talk with him recently was when you both took a shower a few days ago.

"you look so tired" you frowned, pushing his hair back

"I know...I am"

"you need to sleep more" you kissed his chest, resting against it under the warm water.

He let out a soft laugh, "yeah...when is there time for rest?"

"its okay to take time off, you know? youre a manager, you have more control"

"I just need to prove to everyone that I am capable of handling the position" he insisted

"Obviously you are, they wouldnt-"

"y/n, just dont worry about it....okay?" he squeezed you softly, trying to change the subject and shutting you down, because you wouldnt get it

-

You wanted your husband, you wanted him more than anything, and this feeling only turned to anger as you sat with him at the dinner table one night.

You were now almost 2 months pregnant and still have not told him.

You planned a nice meal to eat, his favorite.

You cooked all the vegetables and spent hours slaving in the hot kitchen making sure everything was up to perfection for him, just for him to come home at 2am with no text in regard to him being late.

"its late, honey, im sorry, we can eat tomorrow"

You stood to your feet before he could leave the room, all of your dishes sitting on the stove, some now cold. "no, we are gonna eat now."

You know he smelled the food, and never did he once acknowledge the fact you made his favorite dish, or thank you for it.

His eyes widened, not used to hearing the sudden tone in your voice.

"please....please just sit" your voice cracked slightly as you watched him slowly walk back to the seat, sinking into it.

"are you mad at me?" he whispered, watching your back as you heated up the food into a plate for him.

"mad..?" you chuckle to yourself, trying to gather your thoughts.

"yeah, mad. are you?"

You took the food out of the microwave and handed it to him, sitting on the other end of the table and looking at him desperatley.

"jungkook...have you noticed anything...different?"

He smiled gently, confusion in his eyes, "what do you mean?"

Your expression softened from hopeful to dissapointment.

"you dont see...you dont feel like anything is different?"

"no?" he half smiled, looking around awkwardly.

You looked down at your plate, teary eyes overcoming you as you tried hard to prevent your breakdown- but its been a long time coming.

"wha-"

"jungkook!" you cry out desperately, leaving him shocked and confused at the odd behavior.

"baby why are you crying? whats going on? what is this?" he panicked

"You!! im crying because of you!!" you stood, covering your face as you felt the embarrassment fall over you.

"what did I do?" he got up and tried to come over to hold you, but you pushed him away.

He let you talk, not knowing how to respond to anything.

"you are never home, Jungkook. I fucking miss my husband, okay? I spent 4 hours in this kitchen, sick as hell, making your favorite dish and I dont get any type of thank you, instead you come home 3 hours late and decide its time to sleep, you reek of alcohol as well" you wipe you tears hastily.

He stood, looking at you as his eyes teared up

"I know work is important, I know it is, But I matter too Jungkook!! We are married, I am your WIFE! im not just the maid and chef here, you know?

"baby I never said any of that-"

"you treat me like one!!" you cry, pacing the room, "see, you still dont even notice anything do you?"

He looked helplessly, "Im sorry, honey, I really am, but I need work-"

"not this much!!" you looked at him sharply, "Ive been home alone these past few weeks, dealing with a certain situation ive been terrified to tell you about all by myself!"

"im here now, tell me! tell me! what is going on and how can I fix this?"

"I just want you, jungkook....One fucking day, one fucking dinner" you gesture to the table "When was the last time we even woke up together and cuddled, or had a fucking cup of coffee and talked? Months...MONTHS!"

"my angel im sorry ive been neglecting you, why didnt you say something to me sooner?"

"I was trying to understand, I was trying sooo hard to put myself in your shoes but damnit, jungkook, I cant hide it anymore" you sobbed, knowing how crazy you looked to him right now. "Its...its not fair!!"

He gently grabbed your arm, leading you towards him, his eyes searching deep into your own.

You sighed, trying to adjust your breathing, "g-give me time, give us time." you wrapped your arms around yourself and looked at him.

"us?"

You swallowed harshly, trying to steady your voice, "im pregnant, Jungkook. I found out weeks ago and since then youve left me home alone with not an ounce of time for me to tell you, which is now resulting in this"

He froze, his eyes softening at you as he tears up, "pregnant? baby..."

"yes!" you step back, "and...and you didnt even notice! I tried leaving clues, I left the test in your bedside nightstand and you never fucking saw it?"

"n-no baby...youre pregnant, oh my god, honey" he brought you back to him, a soft yet sad smile on his face

"Its been all me, im the only one who has to deal with it and its not fair. If you dont have time for me, how the hell are you gonna manage to parent our child?" you glared "I refuse to parent alone, this is a team effort, jungkook. Yes money is important, but I need you, I need you to stop being a manager first and my husband second"

He took a shaky breath, part of him scared to say the wrong thing, "I- I understand honey" he nodded, holding your hands as he cried "fuck- im so sorry" you let him pull you into a tight hug "Im so sorry holy shit...im such a fucking dumbass, how could I not know?" he ran his hand up and down your back, face hidden into your shoulder as you both cried.

"you need to understand, I am serious, things have to change!"

"they will! they will! I'll change right now I promise Im gonna be here for you, for both of you" his hands held your stomach, desperation in his voice "dont leave...." he whispered

"im not going to, jungkook. But you need to stop working so much, I cant do this by myself"

"you dont have to, im here for you, whatever you need, fuck I'll take the rest of the week off for you, just let me hold you" he squeezed you tighter

"I miss you so much" your voice was quiet

"I love you, im so sorry I never noticed, Im so dumb baby....I love you,I love you" he cupped your face and pressed a delicate kiss to your lips, forehead against yours, "thank you for all you do, im an ass for not recognizing any of it"

"I love you too....just please...do it for us...?"

He nods "anything....for you, i'll do fucking anything baby." he kisses you once more as you both gently sway in the kitchen. The tension of the argument still lingering in the air, thick and prominent.

This wasnt a fixed issue, more so a stepping stone to him proving his words.

If he wanted to be a dad, he needed to show you he was ready for it.

--

"he is crying again" you sigh, rubbing your eyes and sitting up to look at the baby monitor.

"I'll get him" jungkook immediately got up and walked down the hall, following the sad cries that led him to your baby's room.

"little man...its 4am...why the tears?"he frowned at his 3 month old who's arms flared around.

the first 2 months of Kaiylin being born, you kept him in your main bedroom at night but you wanted to test out how he would sleep on his own, and so far its not been good.

"you want mama, huh?" he picked him up, holding him close and gently bouncing his knees. He didnt smell, so it wasnt his diaper, and he had just been fed not too long ago, so it was easy for jungkook to know he just missed his mommy and daddy.

He slowly walked into the bedroom, you were about to fall asleep. "oh kai" you frown as your husband places him into the bed between you both, his body facing the smaller ones so he doesnt fall out or move around.

"aw baby" you rub his head softly, "its okay now, shh, shh"

Jungkook gives you an empathetic look, "I know you havent slept im sorry"

You shrug, "i'll nap tomorrow"

"I'll take him into my office, he can sit in his rocker while you nap"

You smile softly kissing your husband, "thanks, baby"

You had to admit, Jungkook has stepped up more than you assumed he would. Hes began to work from home, giving time for not only your little family, but especially you and him.

He has been such a help with everything, from watching Kai during the night, to cooking and cleaning for you, its been 100% teamwork since you gave birth and you couldnt thank him enough for it all,

Things were finally starting to even out and you could not have been happier, the man you married in the first place was returned back to you, in the form of a loving father.

"hes sleeping again, look" jungkook whispered

Your eyes darted to the newborn in between you and your husband, you slightly giggled, "poor thing"

"co-sleeping just works I guess" he smiled, leaning over to kiss you gently, "go back to sleep honey, ill watch him for a bit, its okay."

"I love you, thank you..." you looked at him

"I love you too sweetheart"

-

a/n- ahh! I really hope this is what you wanted, it was fun to write and follow the prompt. Thanks again for sending this in! -Nini

[stxrvel]

the voices in my head (7)

series summary: you woke up from a long coma with no memory of a part of your life only to be told by your teammates that you're married to the man you hated seven years ago. even though that seemed to be the only problem, as time goes on you're realizing there's a lot more history and mystery behind the accident that left you in medical care for months. blackouts, more memory loss, mistrust and a strange man who seems to be connected to everything. every day it gets harder to trust anyone around you, but you won't stop until you can finally uncover the truth behind the accident.

chapter summary: you try to get answers, but not everything is as it seems. you may actually be living a lie.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +5k

warnings: bad words and descriptions of blood. a lot of confusing answers too.

note: ok guys. heres the next part in this series and i dont even know what happened. im kind of a let it happen writer, so i just started writing this chapter with what i had in my drafts, and the suddenly everyting came to life and started to write itself. like i dont know whats happening anymore, 80% of this wasnt planned. BUT i dont dislike the way this one turned out. im actually happy because it filled a gap in the plot that i'd had for some time and didn't know how to handle. as you may have seen in my reblogs, i dont tend to plan things out, i just start writing and the characters will tell me their stories. so, i just hope you guys love and ejoy this chapter!! know feedback is alwas appreciated! and i hope you end up as confused as i am. love you all!

masterlist | next | series masterlist

Bucky was in a haze. His fingers were trembling and he felt his heart racing to get out of his chest. He didn't know what he was doing, but he let his body guide him because there had to be a reason for all that, for all that fuss, for all that suffering. His feet hurt, he didn't even know how long he had been running for, but not even the rest of the team following behind him had made him stop until now. (Maybe they didn't want to stop him either.)

Maybe he was already in the middle of that city. There were too many buildings, sounds of car horns, the hurried footsteps of people walking past him, tapping his shoulder, not even looking at him as if he didn't even deserve to be recognized by a stranger before staggering his whole world.

Bucky wasn't sure he deserved many things anymore. He used to think it was all a gift, he used to think that after so much pain he was finally collecting happiness and peace of mind. He thought he really deserved it. But maybe he didn't. If all that had happened behind his back, if he had allowed it, if he hadn't even suspected it? Did he even deserve a look?

No, maybe he deserved those rubs, the footsteps on his boots, the coffee on his jacket. Maybe he deserved to feel that pain, that burning. Maybe it was the least he could do, it was the only thing he could give back, because in his foggy mind he couldn't think of what else he could do. He deserved that pain and more because it surely didn't even compare to yours, nor did it come close on the heels of everything you had to do.

There was a moment when he thought that had he had the chance to handle that damned time gem hanging around Strange's neck he would have done it without hesitation, not for a single second, not like that damned Stephen had hesitated and in vain. Maybe things would have been different, maybe everyone would be different now? Maybe you would hate him now. Maybe now the pain would be bearable. Maybe he wouldn't walk the streets of that city that had taken everything from him thinking the world had just fallen on his shoulders.

“Bucky, you're not going to find him,” he heard Carol speak to his left side, but his mind erased the memory.

He was alone walking through the city. He couldn't even remember why his white shirt felt sticky against his skin.

Whatever had happened that morning seemed to have been momentarily erased.

Bucky stopped.

What was he doing there?

The sound of morning stress suddenly stunned him. He shifted on his feet to look around, to see how everyone was still moving, how the sun was still shining and the clouds were racing across the sky, seeing how everything was still the same while for him everything had stopped.

“Where is she?” Bucky thought he was asking a voice in his head, a figment of his imagination, but the hand on his shoulder had to be real. It felt real.

-

Bucky didn't say much for much of the morning. You watched him, stoic and lost in thought from time to time, barely shaking his head in acknowledgement when you told him something. He had given no answer to your questions and as much as you wanted to keep asking, as much as you wanted to insist, something in his eyes prevented you from doing so.

So you spent a good part of the day like that, with Bucky at your side, reluctant to let go of your arm, not encouraging you to do anything else. Everything that had happened that day, all your crazy conjectures and theories slowly faded from your head as you relaxed by his side, letting go of the accumulated tiredness you'd felt since the day everything started to change.

And you had several strange dreams, surrounded by destruction, blows that felt strangely real, full of tears and full of suffering.

But one of them stood out from the others.

You were somewhat confused to see Bucky that morning. His mission was supposed to take at least a few more days and you had already made up your mind that you wouldn't see him for a while. Getting used to it was easy though, but you preferred to ignore that reality.

He passed right in front of you, walking as if it was nothing, ignoring your presence completely. Not that you were expecting anything different either. No, of course you weren't. After the way things left off when he left, you didn't expect him to forgive you so soon.

You could barely let out the air you were holding when he disappeared down the hall.

“What's wrong?” you heard Natasha's voice.

You turned around startled. She had planted herself next to you, her uniform dirty and heavily bloodstained.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it's not mine.” Natasha waved her hand in a nonchalant gesture.

“Why did you guys come back so soon?”

“The track was a dead end. There was nothing there.”

“It was a trap.”

“Yeah,” Natasha sighed, turning her head to see Steve getting off the Quinjet. “She knew we were going. She couldn't wait to see our stupid faces.”

You clicked your tongue. “How come she's always three steps ahead of us?”

“We've been wondering the same thing.”

Natasha had started walking toward the end of the hallway and you were about to follow her until you ran into a familiar face on one side of Steve.

“What's he doing here?”

Natasha didn't answer you, and when you turned to see her she had a tired expression on her face.

“Well since we've been going on so many missions without a good result, the UN panel that controls us is going to start limiting our outings.”

“What? But she's completely unpredictable!”

“I know, believe me we tried to talk to him. They contacted us since we were coming back. They're very adamant, and it's not like we can do much about it.”

Natasha giving up just like that didn't give you much hope. You watched Steve listen to Secretary Ross with his hands on his hips and a droopy expression. He didn't seem to agree much, but he couldn't say no either. Surely more than anyone else he was the one who was having the hardest time with the whole Accords thing.

You wanted to think for a moment that that was the real reason Bucky had ignored you when he arrived and not because of the discussion you two had that was overheard by half the building about three days before. The subject of the Accords was also a hard subject for him, but more than anything else because of the bombing, because of everything that had happened after that. The fight he blamed himself for every chance he got and the concede. They had been able to go far but not far enough. You knew Bucky spent many days thinking about all that.

But hey, besides that news he must still be pretty mad at you. At least that was something you could fix.

“So we're back to waiting,” you finally spoke up turning to look at Natasha. The woman barely twisted her lips in response.

“If they don't think this is a global threat, I don't know what one thing has to happen for them to let us do our job right,” Natasha walked down the hall with you trailing at her heels, a grimace on her face and a frown on her face. “Will it have to cost someone's life for them to notice?”

“Nat,” you furrowed your brow at her words. “We should think this is enough. Something worse could have happened. If Steve hadn't given up after the fight at the airport, where do you think they'd be now? And you? The group would have disbanded. We could have been pushed even harder, but the government and the countries were more condescending.”

“I wish it was enough for me. Thinking like that must bring you peace.”

You ran your tongue in front of your teeth with a disguised grimace. Natasha didn't notice as you watched her red hair and black suit as yoou approached the main hall of the Complex.

“I'm just thinking this way to ease the violent thoughts of you all. You know I didn't want to sign either.”

“But you did,” Natasha paused at the foot of the stairs. You could tell from there that Bucky was talking to Sam and Tony was meeting with Clint.

“It was all going to end very badly if I didn't. You know what they think of me. If I had gone with you and Steve they would have not only wanted to contain me but neutralize me. And you know they would've done it any way they could.”

Natasha's eyes flashed in recognition. You knew what was going through her head because you had been through it once before and it had been a horrible experience that had been burned into the minds of every one of your teammates. Especially Bucky's and yours.

“I wouldn't have let them near you,” she spoke, her voice soft and full of feeling.

“And I wouldn't have let you carry that for me.”

Natasha sketched a half-smile, shaking her head.

“I guess we'd both die trying to keep the other from dying.”

The conversation ended there and soon you were both in the living room near Clint and Tony. You watched them chat about the mission. You noticed the somber expression on Stark's face when Natasha told him that Secretary Ross was talking to Steve. You caught the moment when Clint sighed heavily and moved his hand to turn down the volume on the device in his ear, he did that every time someone mentioned something about the Accords or the Secretary. Sometimes even when someone talked about Germany. Clint was the most evasive of all on that subject.

Sam and Bucky were too far away for you to tell if they were listening the conversation, although considering that the latter had a super serum running through his veins, he probably had super hearing that allowed him to, even if it was against his will.

But despite the distance you could tell that his eyes were on yours. He was resting his elbows on his knees, leaning forward. His expression matched Tony's and you wondered how much it would cost you to get the two of them to sit down and talk about the things that had happened. Within that civil war, they were probably the ones who had had it the worst. But that was almost impossible, they both hated each other almost to death.

You were attracted by his gaze and started walking before you knew it. Sam stood up and gave you a nod of greeting as he passed you. Surely they had already spoken.

Bucky didn't stop looking at you until you took the spot where his friend had been.

“Are you okay?” you asked him, bringing your hand up to his right shoulder. He was too tense.

“Ross doesn't understand anything,” was what he replied, his voice laced with a hateful venom that sent a shiver down your spine.

“I know.”

“He's gonna get us killed. Him and that damn panel.”

“Bucky-”

“Nothing's going to make them understand until a massacre happens and that blood is on their hands.”

“Honey,” you stepped closer to your boyfriend, his body tensing even more, but moving closer to yours as if it were his nature. He straightened up and allowed you to fully embrace his right arm. “I think you can rest easy because you're doing your job and you're doing it well. I know you feel the helplessness, we all go through that. And I would love to tell you that we can change it and do something about it, but I can't. I can only remind you that you've been doing it right and you've been doing everything in your power to make it so. Ross and the panel are going to come to their senses at some point. They're going to understand what we're doing at some point and then we won't have to fight anymore.”

“I think you're the only one on the team who believes that,” Bucky tried to sketch a smile turning his face to look at you.

“Someone has to do it or you're always going to be like cats and dogs.”

“Yeah, you're the one who brings balance to this place,” his beady eyes didn't leave yours. “To me, too.”

You felt a sting behind your eyes and your chest compressed.

“Bucky, I'm sorry-”

“No, leave it.”

“No! It was my fault and I spoke to you too ugly-”

“I already forgave you, Y/N. Don't keep talking.”

“Don't do that. Let me tell you-”

Bucky reached up to plant a kiss on your lips. You reached up to move back a little, but his hand went around your waist and he pulled you tighter against him. He moved his lips over yours as if it had been months since the last time he did it, gentle, taking his time, savoring every second he could. Your hands cradled the sides of his face, kissing him back with the same intensity he gave you.

When he pulled away, you were breathing heavily.

“I said leave it.”

“You're mean.”

He moved closer and gave you another quick peck before settling back in. His eyes didn't leave yours even though your body was beginning to lose the warmth he'd given you. At that moment you thought you could spend your whole life like this and you would be entirely happy.

Apparently Bucky thought the same thing.

“Marry me.”

“What?” you exclaimed, an expression of surprise making its way across your features.

Bucky smiled at your half-open mouth.

“Marry me, Y/N.”

“Bucky…”

“I never wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone as much as I do with you. I can't even remember what it was like to live before you anymore. So, yeah, that's it, marry me.”

It had been at least about two hours and you couldn't stop thinking about it. It felt too real to have been just a dream.

You had woken up in a room all alone. There wasn't a single trace that Bucky had been there with you at any time. For a moment you thought maybe you'd dreamed all that day, but you could still feel the strength of Bucky's arms around your figure. You could still feel his breath in your ear every time he mumbled an apology from the bottom of his heart, not really knowing what he was apologizing to you for.

You felt it as real as that kiss. Like that emotion when in your dream he proposed to you. Maybe it wasn't a dream, you'd been married after all. But how could you remember that now? What had changed?

And that conversation with Natasha…

You heard the bedroom door open and a few seconds later Bucky appeared in front of you. You felt your stomach churn.

“You're awake,” he commented as he approached the bed. He set down a mug of hot liquid on the nightstand before sitting down across from you, and you stood a little while longer watching the smoke billow out. “You must have a lot of questions.”

You turned to look at him. He looked better than the last time you had seen him. Calmer and more serene.

“Go ahead. Ask.”

Even though yes, you did indeed have too many questions, at that moment you went blank. You felt like your heart was going to pound out of your chest with how fast it was beating, so hard it was thundering against your bones. With sweaty hands you tried to arrange your hair in a carefree gesture, but you were sure you had a desperate grimace on your face.

So much had happened in the last few days, and there was even something you still hadn't told Bucky…

Sighing, you decided to let out the first thing that came to mind.

“What are the Accords?”

You noticed Bucky's face process your question, his face contorting in confusion. “The Accords?”

For a moment you thought it wasn't true, and you were giving yourself the nod thinking you'd just had a meaningless dream, until Bucky spoke again.

“Where did you hear about that?”

You frowned. “Is it real?”

“Yes,” Bucky nodded quickly. “The Sokovia Accords. It's a document signed by a large number of countries that allows a United Nations panel to monitor the activities of the Avengers.”

That made sense according to what you remembered from that dream. So it could be true…

“How did you propose to me?”

Bucky frowned even more than the previous time, and you knew that maybe those weren't the questions he was expecting, but you needed to know.

“Uhm,” Bucky took a moment before answering. “I had just returned from a mission where we were ambushed. I was nearly killed. Maybe I had a moment of lucidity, I don't know, all I knew was that I'd never felt so scared about not being able to be with you. So I came in, we talked and I just did it.”

“Did anything happen while you were coming in from the mission, before you made the proposal?”

“Mmm, yeah, something did happen,” Bucky looked more than confused somewhat suspicious. “The Secretary of State is like the spokesman for the panel I mentioned to you. That day coming back from the mission he contacted us to tell us that we would have to start getting out less and plan better plans, long story short. I was very angry. Too angry. And you and I… Well, we had argued before I left so we didn't talk as soon as I got there. But yeah, that happened.”

So it was a memory.

“Y/N? Why are you asking me these things?”

“You told me to ask.”

“Yeah, well,” Bucky pursed his lips. “I didn't expect you to ask me those questions.”

“Why is there a dome around the Complex?”

“Well,” Bucky cleared his throat. “Generally speaking, in the beginning it was to keep the military from intervening in the Complex because… let's just say we did something against the rules of the Accords for a while. Then we decided to keep the dome to prevent him from finding us.”

“Him? Who is he?”

“They call him The…”

For a moment you stopped hearing Bucky, though you could see his mouth was still moving. A high-pitched whistling filled your hearing. It was loud and painful. You moved your hands to the sides of your head to try to isolate yourself from the sound, but you felt it coming from inside you.

“… are you okay? Y/N?”

You could hear him again. That was weird.

“What happened?”

“I don't know,” you moved your jaw to uncover your ears, but in a second it seemed like nothing had happened. “I felt a ringing in my ears, but too loud.”

Bucky arched an eyebrow, scanning your face. You could tell the concern on his face and it compressed your chest.

“I'm fine, what were you saying?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, go on.”

Bucky hesitated for a few seconds, his eyes still detailing your features as a precaution. Finally he sighed and shook his head in assent.

“Well, the man you most likely saw on television was…”

You lost your hearing again and a second after you saw Bucky's mouth move without a sound, the high-pitched beeping returned. That time it was so loud that you couldn't help but scream even though you couldn't hear anything. You felt Bucky's hands on your forearms as you covered your ears again, but it seemed to increase the beeping and along with it your vision tried to go white. You thought you saw a hand outstretched in front of you.

You were about to lose your mind until you finally found silence again.

You had leaned forward and Bucky had leaned over you.

“Bucky?”

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You straightened up and he quickly did the same. His eyes desperately searched your face and body for something.

You felt dizzy all of a sudden, and when you reached up to massage your temples that's when you saw the blood.

So did Bucky.

You brought your hands to the sides of your face and it felt wet. For a moment you felt like you were going to throw up.

Bucky took your face in his hands and turned it sideways, looking at the blood that seemed to have come out of your ears. You couldn't look away from your blood-stained hands. For some reason, you felt a strange familiarity in your chest.

“Bucky…” you mumbled without looking up. “What happened? The day of the accident, what the fuck happened?”

“Y/N, are you-”

“Say it,” you raised your head. His frown made you uncomfortable.

“I don't think-”

“Tell me, Bucky.”

It looked like Bucky thought he knew what was going on and didn't want to subject you to it, but you'd seen something and you felt that's where the answer was.

“Say it and don't stop talking.”

Your features were hard, you didn't give a single space for doubt. And Bucky sighed when he realized he couldn't convince you.

“The accident was because of…”

There it was again. Louder and angrier than the previous two times. It seemed to want to berate you for some reason. So much anger was overwhelming. The sound was deafening. The pain was uncontainable. You couldn't help but shout as you felt like you were being ripped in two.

And then, you saw it. A hand stretched out in front of you.

Writhing in pain, you gripped it tightly.

And you opened your mouth to take a big breath of air.

Everything was white around you. To your left, right, above and below. There wasn't a single shadow or a sign that so much brightness was coming from somewhere. The white seemed to stretch on forever when you started walking, because there was no sign of even corners or stairs. It was a simple white plane.

You walked as if that was the solution. As if at some point you were going to come across something that would give you the answer, but there was simply nothing.

And when you finally stopped, you heard it. You recognized it instantly.

What are you doing?

You moved sideways, looking for the source of that voice, but there was no one even miles away. You couldn't see a single speck.

“Who are you?” you exclaimed angrily to no one in particular.

I'd already told you.

“No! Drop the fucking mystery, who the fuck are you?”

Silence followed your question.

“Didn't you want me to trust you? You told me they were the bad guys.”

They are, the voice replied.

“Then prove it. Tell me who you are. Let me trust you.”

There was silence for several seconds, and in between all the emptiness you swore you could go crazy. Fine, and you were already hallucinating things.

But then… footsteps.

You turned suddenly.

There was a man. Very short hair, with a big beard that hid his whole jaw. Dark clothes, a jacket and a baggy jean. He was leaning against something, with his hands inside his jean pockets, even though no matter how hard you looked you never found an object there. He must have been handling what was going on here. His face was barely minimally familiar to you, but not enough to make you suspect him.

“Who are you?”

“You can call me Nathaniel.”

Nathaniel? He didn't sound remotely familiar.

“You were the one who did that thing?”

“What thing, Y/N?”

“The beeping.”

“Ah. I couldn't risk getting your head filled with lies. I told you I'd take care of it.”

“And you had to hurt me in the process?”

“My apologies. It was the only way.”

“Are you seriou? Bringing me here was the only way too?”

You watched the man, Nathaniel, undo his serene expression for the first time to frown at you. He moved to approach you and you couldn't stop your body from shifting away from him.

“Don't you know you're the one doing this? You called me here. This is your invention.”

“What? No. That's impossible. I didn't… I'm not…”

You looked around. It couldn't be you. You didn't even know where you were while Nathaniel could sit comfortably waiting for you. It couldn't be your doing.

“This is your mind, Y/N. Don't you recognize it?”

Miles of emptiness greeted you as you turned to survey the place. That shit was impossible.

“Well, it's missing some memories, sure.”

You frowned and turned to look at him. He seemed to have his hands folded behind his back and he had that calm, almost expressionless face again. He looked like someone who inspired confidence, you didn't doubt that if people looked at him they would surely believe him because that was the aura he had around him. Still… the tightness in your chest wouldn't go away.

“But it's still yours.”

“You can… bring my memories back?” you weren't entirely sure why you asked, it just popped in your head, out of nowhere. It wasn't as crazy as it sounded taking in consideration that he was the beeping in your ears. He definitely could do something. Maybe it was your subconscious.

You noticed when his eyes twinkled as he shook his head. A small smile crept onto his face, as if he'd been waiting for that question.

“Well, I can definitely try.”

You felt a relief sweep through your entire body.

“You're on my side, right?” your cautious side came to the fore.

“Of course, Y/N. I've been trying to help you all this time. It's a little hard, but I've tried.”

“It's hard?”

“Yes, it's just that…” the man, Nathaniel, averted his gaze from yours as if he was thinking about whether or not to continue. When he looked back at you his expression was much softer, more real, “You're too far away. I can't do much like this.”

“And where are you?”

Nathaniel smiled, “Even if I told you, you couldn't look for me. You can't get through the dome.”

You clicked your tongue. You had the chance to finally remember everything in the palm of your hand and you wanted to take it with all your might. Because you had already realized that this man was very powerful and that, in his delusions of helpfulness, he wouldn't let anyone in the group tell you the truth. If he wouldn't even let Bucky do it, he wouldn't let anyone but him do it. And you had a bad feeling, but what else could you do?

“Then you'd have to come to where I am.”

Nathaniel nodded slightly. “Just tell me where you are and I'll come get you.”

“I'm at the Avengers Complex,” you spoke after a sigh. “In Washington.”

The man in front of you sketched a smile, but rather than reassuring you it was more nerve-wracking.

“Ah, you see. I told you you couldn't trust them.”

“What are you talking about?”

Nathaniel resumed walking, his steps getting closer and closer to you.

“You're not at the Complex or anywhere near Washington.”

“What? But…”

“They've got you trapped. They won't let you out. They won't even tell you where you really are.”

You shook your head in denial. What he was saying made no sense. You could literally see the city from the roof of the building. You had even gone out one of those days and toured the city, how was it possible that you weren't in Washington?

Although… You weren't even sure what Washington was really like. You had no memory of that city in your head. You had never seen the city anywhere else. You were just told you were there and assumed that what you saw was that city. But what if it wasn't?

“Find out where you are, Y/N,” Nathaniel spoke again while you were still lost in your head. Almost at the same time, the ground began to shake. “Figure it out and come back and tell me where I can find you and get you out of there.”

The ground shook vehemently, but the man in front of you didn't look as scared as you did. He still had that calm expression, his hands in his pockets and his head cocked to one side. He was looking at you as if he longed for something from you.

You no longer had the slightest idea what was going on.

And then you heard other footsteps approaching fast.

“Y/N!”

You recognized her instantly, but instead of being reassured, you were frightened.

You turned around to find Wanda Maximoff trying to get closer to where you were, running through the white debris falling from somewhere above.

“They're going to try to get you away from me,” Nathaniel spoke, and you moved to look back at him.

“Get away from him!” Wanda exclaimed.

“They don't want you to know the truth. Even if you think they're going to tell you the truth, they're not. It's a lie. It's always been a lie.”

“Y/N!”

“They didn't even tell you where you really are.”

“Shut the fuck up! Y/N, don't listen to him!”

“They've been keeping things from you for a year. They didn't even want to tell you that you have powers.”

“Don't listen to him!”

“If you hadn't brought it up to Bucky Barnes, he never would have told you.”

The way his name came out of his mouth was disgusting. You never wanted him to mention his name ever again.

“Think about that,” Nathaniel finished and watched beside you as the woman kept running trying to dodge the falling debris for some reason; mind you, it wasn't falling where you were, just where she was stepping. “Goodbye, Wanda, see you soon.”

When you turned around, the man was gone, and when you turned around again, Wanda crashed into you with a thud.

You opened your mouth to take a breath of air. You felt your body heavy. The first thing your eyes registered was color. You were no longer on that white plane, in your mind, you were back in the room.

But you were not alone.

Sound came slowly to your hearing, as you could barely differentiate between the faces that peered out to see you. You stopped when you found Wanda's reddish hair right in front of you. The hands at your temples must have been hers. It must have been the same as last time.

You sat up with a jolt and didn't disown, though you felt a whiplash of pain run from your back to your feet. You looked back at the woman who had gotten into your head sitting across from you. Your head had been in her lap. She looked as tired as you.

“Nothing he said is true,” was the first thing Wanda said, holding up her hands as if her sound of peace meant something to you.

“He?” you heard Bucky's voice, and that was the only thing that made you tear your gaze away from Wanda's clear eyes. “Who are you talking about?”

When you found Bucky, you clutched at his hands.

“Y/N,” Wanda spoke again. “What he said isn't true. He's a manipulator. He'll do anything to get you on his side, but you can't believe him.”

“So I'm supposed to believe you guys?” you almost spat the words out, an overwhelming fury roaring deep in your chest. You squeezed Bucky's hands as you turned to look at him. “Bucky, where are we?”

“Y/N, no,” Wanda interfered, but that only unleashed your fury.

“Shut up!” you raised your hand in her direction and the woman moved back a considerable distance on the ground, as if she had been pulled. You looked back at Bucky. “Tell me, where are we?”

Bucky was looking away, most likely to where Wanda was, but you didn't have time for that. You moved your hands to cradle Bucky's face and bring his eyes back to yours. That position brought back the memories of your dream and you felt a sharp pain in your head when that happened.

The moment Bucky turned to look at you, you felt as if a sword had cut you in two. An electrifying light and a bunch of scenarios where you had taken in Bucky's face in the same way.

“Y/N?”

You blinked rapidly, pushing those memories out of your mind. It seemed that every time an image of those appeared in your mind it was accompanied by excruciating pain.

“Answer me, please.”

“We're at the Complex, Y/N. In Washington,” Bucky replied and you felt his words were dirty.

“No,” you frowned and your hands over his face took on strength. “Where are we really?”

“Y/N,” Bucky looked confused, and for a moment you thought he had been lied too, until he moved his eyes to look behind you and without turning you knew who was there.

“Look at me,” you commanded between your teeth and his clear eyes focused solely on yours. “Tell me where we are.”

Bucky began to shake his head and reluctantly closed his eyes tightly. It seemed that simple question caused him physical pain.

“I-I can't. I can't tell you, Y/N.”

“Bucky, stop it. Don't talk.”

The order came from Carol Danvers, and you hated the way the man's face contracted as he heard it. You didn't want him to listen to her.

You wanted to turn to see her, you wanted to tell her that it wasn't her place to order him such things, that she was no one to talk to him like that. But Bucky's hands cupped your face before you could see her in your peripheral vision. His pleading eyes melted your heart and again you felt the pain shatter your head.

A hundred more scenarios where Bucky had looked at you that way.

“Y/N, relax, okay? We're going to talk, but I want you to calm down first, okay?”

You took a deep breath, trying to push through the pain, and nodded in his direction.

“Okay, all right, breathe with me.”

You noticed his chest inflate as he inhaled and mimicked his action. Also when he exhaled. And then again and again and again. Until you felt a little more serene and Bucky's eyes looked warmer.

Maybe it was what had happened with that man in your head, because of the stress you'd felt and the hopelessness when you woke up and felt for a moment that everyone was against you, but suddenly you felt so tired that you just laid your head on Bucky's shoulder and closed your eyes.

--

a/n: thank u so much for reading 💜

Taglist: @cjand10 @yallgotkik @ruffdog921 @coracal @its-just-kayy @pono-pura-vida @vampiresarezombies @kaz11283 @vicmc624 @calwitch

[saintmurd0ck]

RHI!!! A million congrats on 2.5k, I can't think of anyone who deserves it more 🥰 and so glad you're back and feeling ok! For the train, I'd loveee to take a trip to 86th st with Mikey Kinsella and “please, for the love of god, shut up for once.” “why don’t you come over here and make me?” i think the way you write it would be SO gorgeous and interesting ❤️ and also because im a slut, i just know id LOSE it over a stop at Heuston Station with Fratt x reader and ❛ you want gentle? wrong fucking address. ❜ Anyways I'm so so excited to read everything you do for this event 🥰 congrats again!!

all fired up

join my sleepover | main masterlist

pairing: michael kinsella x reader

warnings: amanda slander, a tiny bit of spice (minors DNI), aggressive michael / reader, yes we're a little mean but dont worry he gets the upper hand ;)

a/n: christie my gorgeous, thank you so so so much for dropping in 🥺 i hope you like this one, and i am gonna post the fratt request in a separate ask >:) btw i am amending the prompts to better fit the characters i am writing for, so i hope you dont mind xoxo

Michael’s silent rage simmers in your periphery as he leans against the wall like a fallen angel, gritting his teeth, letting his chest rise and fall in short, controlled bursts. Everything in the room is setting him off: the clicking of your pen, the faint hum of the air-conditioner, and the distant noise of traffic from the main road. 

Unfortunately for him, you’re far from caring today; not when you’ve scraped together the business proposal of a lifetime. One that could easily retire you in the blink of an eye.

You’ve worked your ass off to coordinate this, so isn’t it only fair that Michael, being the other major stakeholder in this business, quits his grumbling? It’s as if he can’t — or won’t — comprehend what this means if this works out. If you negotiate your way through this successfully, with Michael there or not, the Kinsellas land on top. They’ll control Dublin, and possibly the whole of Ireland, with opportunities to plant roots and spread vines across all the major networks in Europe. And as you’re the only decision maker not married to — or even fucking — anyone in the family, you’ve had to prove your worth, a thousand times more so. Simply being Michael’s closest friend and confidante didn’t sit well with the others, but you’ve made yourself far more capable than anyone in this business. 

And this deal will cement you into the Kinsella hall of fame. 

You cut a glance to where he’s standing, a momentary pang of empathy softening your expression. He’s exhausted from today, and it isn’t just the circles under his eyes that demonstrate it. You know his tells better than anyone; in fact, you know him so well that just by judging his body language, you can deduce who he’s been with, what he’s been up to, and what he tries hard to conceal. Right now, and at your disdain, you can see Amanda written all over him. It’s obvious in the way he’s carrying himself, with his chin pointed downwards, the tension almost shrugging his shoulders. Even his skin gives it away, from the warmth in his cheeks to the flush at the tips of his ears. 

“Let me guess,” you sigh, breaking the silence, “Amanda thinks you’re not doin’ a good enough job, and you shouldn’t be workin’ with me?” Saying her name is enough to set you off, but you do your best to diffuse the situation, to bring Michael back to the present. 

His eyes flick to yours at the mention of her name, and you grimace inwards at the sharp stab to your gut. “Somethin’ like tha’.”

It confirms what you suspected; that he and Amanda had met up today, for purposes you try not to burden yourself with. It isn’t your business what they get up to, or how many times you notice her silhouette beyond the frosted glass of his front door. 5 times this week, and it’s only Wednesday, you think, chewing on your lip. 

Unease courses through your veins, and so you go to do what’s natural, and sweep the thoughts under the proverbial rug in your mind. You gesture at the mountain of paperwork in front of you. “Are you gonna help me, Michael?”

His only response is a delicate muscle feathering in his jaw, and for some reason, it sends a lick of angry heat up your spine. The deadline to the deal looms in front of you like a ticking time-bomb, and all he can do is stay silent, and God forbid, mope about Amanda?

Your mouth thins as you take a moment to decide if you want to add to his anguish. To deliver an insult worthy of his attention. There’s a rush that flows through you, a sick kind of satisfaction, that tug the corners of your mouth upwards. If it were Eric, or Jimmy, or even Amanda, he would’ve lost his shit by now. He’d probably have stormed out and sulked home, making sure his gun was accessible from beneath his jacket at all times. His heart would thunder in his ears, itching for a fight with some unfortunate soul who’d then be promptly taken out by none other than the Magician. 

Your voice rings out across the room, coming out more confident than you’d played out in your head. “She refuse to blow you today or what?” 

Michael’s brows furrow together. “What did you say?”

“I asked you something, Michael. Are you pissed because Amanda didn’t open her legs for you?”

His mouth twists into a sneer. “I’d stop talkin’ if I were you.”

But you return his glare, your blood thrumming with challenge. “Actually, I commend her for doin’ that. ‘Cause I wouldn’t want to fuck someone so miserable either.”

He’s in front of you in a couple of strides, seething cold fury as his voice drops an octave. When he talks, his breath fans your face. “I said stop fuckin’ talkin’.”

You swallow, feeling your chest heave as some unchecked part of you — the part that’s scared of no-one — takes over. “Or what?” You pout, cocking your head to the side. “Are you gonna run back to Amanda and tell her how mean I’ve been to you?” 

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up,” he spits, grabbing you by the collar, shoving you until the back of your thighs press up against the desk.

Your retort comes out just before he lowers his mouth to yours. Just before he wedges his thick hand between your legs. “Why don’t you make me?”

[horsefreek151]

My husband's First time Watching Twilight

My dear husband has not seen many of the movies that were very informative of my tween and teen years; Twilight is one of the top ones. He not only agreed to watch it but agreed to let me write down his reactions. Here are the 3 PAGES of comments I recorded during the two hour movie.

Opening line: "I'd never given much thought to how I would die." - Well, Lucky you

I'm glad this deer is going to be totally unharmed

What ?! Hang on... He catches the dear mid jump like a trick dog.

Him: Why is (Stephany Myers) so obsessed with baseball? Me: Shes Mormon Him: I think it's the homoerotic subtext

ACAB even (Charly)

Alright... one bathroom? There's only two of you!

Billy (who is in a wheelchair) responds with how hes doing by saying "Still Dancing!" - I love him Meets Eric - GAY BEST FRIEND *He was disappointed by him being straight* *Pauses Movie* I had no idea her name was Isabella

Mike Existing - That's the most awkward person Ive ever seen

Jerk kisses her on the cheek without consent - That's assault

*Edward walks in* - OMG thats BATMAN *JKJKJK*

How ... Why ... Why is she laughing.

So he can see the future... Nobody in this movie knows how to eat food. Fuck you, Binder! She is the awkward one Charly Guy in Mill getting hunted - Hes agile I would have fallen over by then. Bella slips and falls over - Relatable *he is unaware of the trope* "Not in Phoenix Bells" Line referring to large animals hunting people in Forks - "YoU DoNt HaVe AnImAls iN ArIzOnA" What do you mean Charly!? They have Mountain Lions and SNAKES Charly! *I mention scorpions too* No writer in this movie ever talked to a high schooler. "Your name is Bella?" - Its actually Isabella as I have learned I only care about this golden onion... and why it isn't a golden garlic. "Cold wet thing" - Unlike sand which is hot and course She also looks like shes in white face paint. (Edward) just walks away like a fucking freak... I love it. None of these people have ever talked to a human before. *Car Crash* - So much is happening... why are there so many cuts... The vampires all look like fucking mimes Your asking him about the speed he got there and not the CRUMPLED DOOR?!

Dont worry (Bella) Im also confused about what happened *Edward in the corner of her room* Hes like a fucking PTSD flashback. Hes a fucking sleep paralysis demon Its dumb to send (the vampires) to highschool. I didn't know one of (Bellas) personality traits was Clumsy There Bio teacher belongs in a sitcom They act like they are fifty or twelve... not like teenagers... twelve is more accurate. The most unrealistic part (of there field trip) is that the bus driver is not screaming at him for banging on the door... or maybe I grew up in Boston. *Edward dose the apple thing* - Ok now he's just making fun of her Robert Patterson and the guy playing Charly are the best actors. Edward mentions wearing a mask, and Bella quips about it - OOOOO, She called Edward out for being autistic! *He can say that as I am autistic and I give him permission* *Edward cant go to LaPush* - Is it cause he cant cross moving water? *He made so many jokes about vampire lore I didn't write them all down* I was trying to tell what time this flashback took place and I just couldn't. I'm glad they gave us a 30-second tutorial on how to get a book online. Some of this look like a horror movie TOKYO DRIFTING, Dam that was a fuckin j-turn! "Little do (her friends know) he was going to eat her, for her blood" Oh Bella, I understand he's a pretty boy, but back up from the "How do you know what he was thinking?" and back to the "WHY WERE YOU STALKING ME!?" I can't wait for the almost SA scene to never come up again... *sarcasm* * They touch hands by oops * - Touch Barrier Broken Charly and Billy watch the game - DAD DATE! ... Oh no not Butcrack SANTA! Looks at Jasper - Is he another vampire who fought for the Confederacy? She sees buttcrack Santa's body - Do they not have body bags? With how much he's stalking her he should be called Edward the Relentless *he loves what we do in the shadows* Why are we spinning... why is there so much spinning? Bella claims Edward talks old-fashioned - He talks like a badly written character... like everyone here. "you won't hurt me" - cause stalkers never escalate violence when things don't work out. Because she's a white woman, and he's her pit bull. LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HE SAYS HES DANGEROUS BELLA. "personal brand of heroine" - Him: because everyone knows heroine comes in brands Me: Im on name brand Meth (me referring to my ADHD MEDS) Him: You're on generic Meth, and you know it. (as I take the generic brand) YOU'VE KNOWN HIM FOR LIKE A WEEK "Irevicoably in love with him" - GIRL... WHY? Sees Emmit - He kinda looks like Peet Davidson I like (Edwards) sitting like a little weirdo He turned to madly in love on a dime. Wait hang on.... (skips back to Billy giving Bella the stinkeye) Eyyyy They do what we do! (Billy holding all the stuff while Jacob pushes, like we do with my wheelchair) Just Sees Jasper - "Ive never seen more fear in a character than in his face right now

Is he scared she will know he fought for the Confederacy? (I have yet to confirm or deny the truth of this statement) Alice being Alice - OOoO Edward, she's gonna steal your girl! No wonder he's fallen in love in 3 seconds... he's been seventh wheel for who knows how long. *there dancing in edwards room* - *husband starts singing my fair lady* "Hang on Spider Monkey" - IT's THE LINE!!! *I mention how it's creepy that he watches her sleep* Well, you watch me while I sleep, but you have insomnia... and were married. *they kiss*- This is the most Mormon shit I've ever seen. At least they show how realistically boaring being a vampire would be. Drinking while cleaning your shotgun... that's totally safe Charly... "Why do you play baseball?" - Since they are American Bella! - "Well it is the American past time" Esme says - SEE! The Thrupple of trouble is walking in like there ready for a photoshoot. Blond Thrupple guy (James) looks so High... "...STuck here like MOM" - OOF! KNIFE TO THE HEART! Did her friends just steal mugs from the diner? Edward won't stop drinking her blood - Bop him on the nose with a newspaper like a dog. Edward sad he "didn't" stop - But you did stop when Carlile bopped you on the head with a newspaper. We kissed once now were in love forever.... They are all weirdos and this feels like a cult Director of Photography, I hate you. Costume? I can't forgive you for that flashback. High school science teacher, you were my favorite. His final review: This was a bad movie. There are better vampire movies, there's better romance movies and better young adult movies. All the genera are valed, this is just a bad example of all of those generas. I understand why its popular tho, and why young woman loved it. Especially when you take in at the time, it came out. Its the American mix of all about sex but completely clean and demonising sex and not having any sex in it. To me its the same way that 50 shades of gray wants to be about sexy bdsm while still saying bdsm is morally wrong. Nothing wrong with wanting a sexy vampire with wanting a romance, I like romance. Theres nothing wrong with media for young women. This is just bad.

[mslanna]

Nooo it's completely fine if you dont write things you don't like or simply don't want im sorry I didn't want to come of as rude or pressuring

But since its ok to share ideas with you how about this:

You know the night where mizora comes to punish wyll and tav decides to just attack her because they care too much for their companions. And I'd guess that mizora is quiet powerful since she's a devil so before mizora strikes tav down, raphael just pops up and protects tav by letting mizora punish wyll and holding tav down so that they don't get hurt by mizora.

I'd actually like it more if raphael just destroys the contract and kills mizora but since he himself is a devil and he doesn't have the crown yet he has to hold back. That's why tav is so mad at him that he promises her that he will make her pay and then he hugs tav and reassurs them that he'll take care of it and perhaps tavs so frustrated of the fact that raphael just held them down so that at first their too angry with him to talk

Sjskskksiaja sorry for dumping this idea on you and I hope it's understandable since English isn't my first language haha

Have a nice day 🌻

I think I mangled the promt somewhat, @shyminnie07 . here's hoping you still like it. 😅

Paying Forward on AO3

When Mizora comes to punish Wyll for letting Karlach live, Tav intervenes. It doesn't go well and they need (and get) a little help from another cambion…

Camp was quiet and Tav watched the fire burn down. They forced their thoughts to follow suit, slowing and mellowing. The last days had been a whirlwind with nary a moment to breathe. Now, with their new friends retreating for the night, the evening stilled and a cool wind brushed over Tav's burning mind soothingly.

They tried not to think about what lay ahead. Tomorrow came anyway. Better to make use of the break while they could. The moment felt like a drop of quiet sandwiched in between two maelstroms.

"Oh no." Wyll's voice came from across camp. "She's coming."

His worried tone urged Tav into action. They grabbed their gear and hurried towards their companion. "Who is coming?" They snapped the last bits of armour into place. "What is happening?"

"My patron," Wyll replied and took hold of Tav's arm. "She won't be happy we spared Karlach."

"She can't have her." Tav's grip tightened around their war hammer. "Or you. She'll have to go through me."

"She's a devil, Tav! Don't get yourself killed on my behalf."

Tav didn't say that getting killed in the line of duty sounded pretty sweet. They'd have done their part and died blameless. Compared to the mess of life, it didn't sound like a bad deal. But before Tav managed to say something stupid, the oily blackness announcing hellfire pooled on the ground before them. Fire shot up and revealed the shapely form of a female devil. Uh oh.

Don't get distracted! Tav told themself to a little avail. The devil knew she was gorgeous and accented all her best features accordingly. Not getting distracted was a quest unto itself and one Tav felt themself losing.

"Wyll," the devil purred in a tone Tav felt not only in their bones. "You've been naughty. And you know what happens when you're naughty."

"And who the fuck are you?" Tav asked just before remembering Wyll said the devil was his patron. Well, patron wasn't a name.

"Call me Mizora," she answered, the disdain for Tav's crude choice of words audible. "I'm Wyll's patron, the fount of his power. My pet's been unruly. And his leash needs a yank."

The devil stretched out a hand, pulled at the air and Wyll stumbled forward as if an actual leash held him around his neck.

"Leave him be!" Tav stepped between the two and felt the invisible leash cut through their chest.

"Wyll and I had a deal." Mizora scanned Tav dismissively. "But Karlach is still breathing."

"You told me devil's only," Wyll spoke up. "She's a tiefling. Not a monster."

"How precious." The devil was unimpressed. "The little pupster's found its bark. Clause G, Section Nine: 'Targets shall be limited to the infernal, the demonic, the heartless and the soulless.' Karlach meets the criteria, pet. Trust me on this."

"I said, leave him alone," Tav repeated and readied their weapon.

"He broke his contract. I am not at fault here."

"Your wording is vague." Tav held their position. "You could have been lenient, but chose not to. I take offence to that."

"And what do you plan to do?" Cold, calculating eyes settled on Tav.

"Wyll won't have to worry about his contract if there is no devil he's beholden to."

"Don't be a fool. What do you think will happen to his powers?" Mizora laughed.

"Wyll is more than his powers," Tav spat. "And he can find a new patron should he want one."

"After you attacked me for not liking the terms of his current contract?" The devil scoffed. "I think not."

But Tav thought back to the devil they met, almost eager to to excite them into a deal. And from the corner of their eye, the paladin spotted the small shadow of Raphael's warlock lurking in the night just outside the camp again. He had his eyes on them. He was an option. Tav shifted their weight back, weighing the war hammer in their hands.

"Tav!" Wyll cautioned, but to no avail.

"Get out of my camp." Tav raised their war hammer. "Now!"

When Mizora failed to leave, the paladin surged forwards and the head of their heavy war hammer connected hard with the devil's soft waist. It was a shame to maul such an exquisite body, but nobody messed with Tav's new friends. Only friends. New friends. Nobody!

Mizora staggered and Tav struck again, cutting across her legs at knee height. A nauseating crunch echoed through the camp. But whatever Tav hit didn't slow Mizora down the least. The devil came at them with incredible speed and a slap of energy stopped Tav in their tracks. Mizora's hand came down and though Tav ducked a way, one of the nails left a long red line down their face.

That couldn't stop them. Tav realigned to their target but Mizora wasn't there any longer. Tav blinked and readjusted their grip on their weapon. A glance at Wyll and Karlach ascertained the devil wasn't bothering them. Despite everything, Tav hoped they scared her away.

But no such luck. After a minute, Mizora returned, looking no worse for wear. "Are you really going to do this?"

Tav didn't bother with an answer and threw themself at the devil again. Just before their hammer connected to infernal flesh, Mizora vanished again. Something whacked Tav on the back of their head and sent them stumbling to the ground. The paladin picked themself up once more, looking for the elusive devil.

As before, Mizora appeared again momentarily. This went on for a while and Tav grew tired and annoyed. Every time Mizora vanished, she added injury to insult, slowly grinding Tav down.

If she had stayed vanished, Tav would have relented, but Mizora kept popping back, ogling Wyll who tried without success to talk Tav down. Not that a little bleeding, scrapes and bruises could top them. Tav was determined to protect their friends.

"Do stop," Mizora sighed after appearing to Tav still leaning heavily on their weapon. Dusts and dirt coated the human's hair and armour. It mixed with blood on their skin. "You cannot win this fight and I am losing interest."

"I will stop when you stay away," Tav ground out. "Leave my friends alone."

"Such misplaced loyalty. An admirable trait, no doubt. But I do not have time for this." Mizora pointed at Tav and laid a full fire ray on them.

Tav stumbled under the onslaught. Most of the heat bounced off the armour but the metal turned uncomfortably hot. They almost dropped their hammer as they pressed on to reach the devil. Mizora languidly repeated her attack. This time, it sent the human sprawling.

Though Tav again deflected most of the fire ray, their shoulder bristled with the heat and their face was singed. They stumbled and got mowed down by a ferocious sweep from the devil. Tav's skin blistered and broke as they skittered over the rough ground. They spat out dirt and blood before propping themself up, ready to return to the fight whatever the cost.

But somebody stepped between them and their target, towering and with wings that obscure Tav's sight. Unthinking, Tav clawed at the newcomer with a low growl.

"Now, now. None of that," came a familiar voice. Tav looked up and found Raphael's black-hole gaze levelled onto them. "Where are you manners?"

"She came into my camp and wants to hurt my friends." Tav struggled to stand. "Over my dead body."

"Yes," Raphael drew the word out into a complete lecture. "Unfortunately, you body is still needed alive."

His arm snapped out before the Tav when the paladin made for Mizora again. They crashed into it, surprised by its unyielding strength.

"How good to see somebody with actual decorum in this – derelict place." Mizora put herself back into order with a curt gesture. "This was all rather tedious."

"I won't let her hurt Wyll," Tav insisted.

"And who are you to decide that?" The devil spread her wings in a subtle threat.

"We can certainly find a solution that involves a minimum of bloodshed," Raphael intervened.

"If it is her blood, maximum is also acceptable," Tav hissed.

Raphael wrapped a wing around the angry human, trapping them in place. "Come, little mouse, calm down. We can settle this like civilised people."

The devils exchanged looks over Tav's head.

"Of course," Mizora agreed with a greedy glint in her eyes. "Wyll, today is your lucky day. Come here pet."

Wyll approached warily until he stood before his patron.

"You know I can't let this slip. But luck intervened on your behalf to let you off lightly." She gestured along her client's body who winced as if a large hand had suddenly taken hold of himand squeezed tightly. Horns sprouted from his head accompanied with the prominent ridges of devils.

"There we are." Mizora turned to Tav. "No pain, just punishment."

Wyll patted down his now features, shock etched over his face. "What have you done?"

"A promise broken, a Price paid. You know the terms," Mizora replied carelessly. "Get used to the new form, pet – there's no going back. Some magic, even I can't undo. Oh, and Wyll? Don't forget. Our pact still stands."

With that she turned to Raphael. "It has been so good to see you again." Each word dripped insincerity. "Until later." Mizora vanished in another flash of hellfire.

Tav peeled out of Raphael's hold and turned to the remaining devil. "What was that?"

"Just a timely intervention, little mouse. I do hate to lose a future client."

"I am not making any deals with you." Tav took a step away.

"Perhaps." The devil shrugged, wings following the motion of his shoulders. "But for now you owe me." With a snap of his fingers, Raphael transported them to the House of Hope. "Now let us discuss the terms of my timely intervention."

"I owe you nothing!" Tav spat.

"You'd be dead without me now."

"Maybe I'd rather be!"

"That can be arranged." Raphael's had closed around Tav's upper arm like a vice and he dragged them deeper into the House. "Maybe a small taste of death will help you appreciate what I just did for you." He bared his teeth as he spoke.

Tav followed because letting the devil drag them was even less dignified. Still they had to scramble to keep up. The devil wasn't in a magnanimous mood any longer.

"You'd have accepted the debt from any of your companions," he hissed. "Time to understand that it applies to me as well. "

"My companions aren't after my soul," Tav countered.

"Is that your worry?" Raphael stopped and Tav ran into him face-first. Black and gold eyes looked down at them as the devil curled his hands around their shoulders. "That I will take your soul?"

"What else could you want?" Tav did their best not to lose themself in the roiling coronas burning over them. The smell of smoke and cherries didn't help.

"Oh, my little pet, there are so many things I want that you can't even begin to fathom." He smiled dangerously. "Of course there are only so many you can grant."

Raphael slipped a finger under Tav's chin and regarded their face for a while. "What is equivalent to the worth of your life?" When Tav didn't answer, he continued: "maybe your own words will have the best result here. No one life is worth more than any other. A flawed assessment, all things considered, but for now it will do."

He leant down and Tav braced for belittling or insult as his breath raked over their skin hot enough to singe Tav's heart. "So this is my proposition, mousling. Your life for mine. A simple deal and easy to fulfil. If you ever find yourself in a position where you are about to take my life, you will not. If you see my life in danger, you will intervene as I did for you."

Tav bit their lip looking for the trap. It had to be one, coming form a devil, especially since it felt innocent enough. But after today they'd go on with their life. They knew where Halsin was and he'd resolve their tadpole problem. They'd never see Raphael again. A relief, that made their heart stutter.

How many devils had they met before this? None. So that was a good prognosis of how many they'd see once rid off their tadpole. Tav regarded the devil towering over them, black eyes, hot breath, sulphur and cherries and all. Once they were back, once they found Halsin, he was a thing of the past.

Speaking over their racing heart Tav held out their hand. "Deal."

"A deal indeed." Raphael gripped their hand with his, never taking his eyes of Tav. His fingers slipped far enough around to dig their sharp tips into Tav's soft flesh. "Now, back and to bed with you. You will need your wits about you in the journey to come."

Before Tav could reply, they found themself back at camp. Their new friends were relieved to welcome them back though worry spread when it became clear that Tav couldn't speak about the nature of the deal they made.

It took a wile for Tav to calm everybody down. They'd never make a deal for their soul and they had not. This much they could say. Whatever transpired was secret but harmless. In the end, Tav crawled into their bedroll slightly confused but feeling overall safe and appreciated.

[roseworth]

Opinions on Rose's Ravager outfits? Personally I always feel like she gets screwed over when it comes to outfits. I thought her original outfit was bland, but I'd rather have that than the weird pirate motif DC keeps putting onto her now.

HEAD IN HANDS i just wrote a whole response to this with details of every single one of her costumes then i pressed the wrong button and accidentally deleted ALL OF IT im gonna cry. so im sorry if i forget something because this is the second time im writing this whole thing :(((((

anyways overall i agree her costumes are usually bad. they either dont really fit her vibe or theyre boring or they have way too much going on. there are only a handful that i actually consider Good and most of them are really bad or just kinda nothing

but i put under the cut what i think of all of them:

original costume: BAD

this one falls into the bland category and its just.... not good. like the boob window is so unnecessary, i dont like the mask, and the colors are so nothing, and every detail sucks. i like the boots tbh but other than that. bad.

the same costume but different: better

i like this because it takes some of the good aspects of the other one and keeps them, but then makes it all a lil brighter and gives some more orangey accents. i wish she didnt have the mask at all, i hate it. but when she does have the mask i prefer it when her hair is sticking out the bottom, i dont like it when its all tucked in like in the first pic

the same costume without the mask: <3

im counting this as its own costume just because in the middle of teen titans she goes a while just not wearing the mask at all <3 its so disappointing when she puts it back on after going a bit without it

ok. new 52 time :/

NOWHERE fits: so fucking awful

technically not even ravager outfits but still. everyone point and laugh. the white and green does NOT look good on her and both of these costumes look terrible. especially the first one bc what the fuck is going on with that skirt thing

the ravagers: unfortunate serve

i fucking love this costume, i think this is actually one of my favorites of hers. i think it combines costume + armor really well, and i think that the color scheme really suits her. the art in this book was so fucking pretty and she looked so good every time she showed up. the unfortunate part was every other aspect of this book :/

her worst look: literally fucking terrible no redeeming qualities

girl take that shit off right fucking now i cant be seen with you wearing this. there is not a single part of this fit that looks good. i said the color scheme looked good in the last costume bc the red was kept to accents. there is so much red going on here and thats FAR from the worst part. lets go from head to toe. that mask is literally a travesty, i dont know who thought it was a good idea. the weird collar thing she has going on is so????? then she has the skulls on her shoulder pads, which are bad enough on their own. and why does she have a bazooka on her back. and why does she only have a skull on one knee?????? this is a fucking mess. kory attacks her on sight in this book and i fully believe its because this costume is so ugly she couldnt hold herself back. um. i like the fingerless gloves though i guess

rebirth: hesitant slay...

i hate the mask but other than that its?? fine???? this one used to be my favorite but i dont really like it as much anymore, idk why. i think its trying too hard to be armor and casual at the same time and ends up not looking good. i hate this mask soooo much though, i think the weird thing going on with her eyes makes this the second worst mask behind whatever was going on in the last one. and like you said i think this one relies too much on the pirate motif??? like i appreciate the reference to the eyepatch i guess but i would rather they just give her an eyepatch. like the skulls and the pirate thing seems way out of place and doesnt fit her vibe or the outfits vibe at all and it just looks weird. but other than that this look is. Fine.

defiance: eh

this one isnt technically ravager either but its still a rose costume so im rating it. its very ,,,, fine. like i dont have any problems with it but there isnt anything i particularly like about it. the whole point of the white costumes in this arc was because they were supposed to look wrong and out of place and all so i cant fault it for that, but theres just not really anything going on here its fine for what it is and thats all i can really say about it

willow: SLAY &lt;3 <3

i love this one, probably another one of my favorites. once again the black with red accents suits her so well. and the artist draws it so it doesnt even seem that horny despite the fact that its a lace up crop top and booty shorts <3 she looks so nice and i love the fit thats my girl (gn) ❣️❣️

stormwatch: yeah &lt;3

two screenshots just to point out the fact that she changes costumes halfway through this issue and i want to bully her for it. but this one is nice, its really simple but i think it works, plus shes drawn like an actual adult instead of a 15 year old so i cant complain <3 the skull imagery is very small and doesnt seem to piratey so i still dont love it but i forgive it. this costume is pretty good and i like it overall, its one of her better costumes

and yeah <3 i hope i didnt forget any but uh rose babygirl we have got to get you better costumes. i think the best color for her would be like a reddish orange bc i like the red for her but the orange is kind of Her Color (even though its only because of slade) and i think she should never wear that mask

[bluewinnerangel]

right back at ya cowboy

Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft

[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]

Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.

Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.

I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D

But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.

ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?

ramble out.

[thejournaluser]

HELLO stranger! welcome to my posts- or blogs- or whatever! i still dont know how to use tumblr or how it works!!! this is basically my randomness stuff, take it as you will. i might do blogs just to post poems and stuff, but ye. Enjoy your time here in my acc!

account announcements log:

(jan 26) made lots of poems before making this account. might post them all but it takes a while ughghghg

(jan 27) im starting to write my thoughts here as well. oh well, might as well make fun here in this account LOL

(feb 4) might wanna post stuff about my ocs. dunno why but i thought i wanted to be famous but eh seems illogical

(feb 11) i might write random shitposts because im THAT out of ideas and full of boredom. mega spoilers tho-

(feb 15) hiya peeps. not feeling the ups right now, just the downs. it'll go away eventually but right now i'd rather feel the emotions than bottle them up. i'll be back soon.

(feb 19) hi y'all. im back from the downs and im currently in a valley in between (istg if any beasts would appear i would-) anyway time to do my usual

(feb 20) woah, did not expect my writing prompts to be getting attention lol. might do those just to get some hearts and all. enjoy the stuff btw!

(feb 22) did NOT expect for my post to get this much attention lol. this account was supposed to be a dump for my creativity BUT im glad people are enjoying it. Thank y'all for staying!

(mar 3) might not be up for it but uhh i wanna do story prompts with a side of shitposting. i already did a sample a few hours back here

(mar 5) i dunno anymore. should i turn this posts of mine into a public confession? i mean, no one might read it lol.

(mar 6) lore???

(mar 19) i decided to write something today. a small project, really but due to some trouble i did in school, it inspired me to write it. enjoy.

(apr 6) hello. i'm still alive. anyone alive, still? i stopped the project for now. i'm so burned out.

(apr 12) tasked my friends and fam to give me one word only. and from that one word, i'll have to make a story prompt out of it. enjoy my silly ideas

(apr 13) aight guys. i might make one sentence writing prompts soon.

(apr 17) introducing The Rooftop, a once-planned short story turned into a long series. hope u guys enjoy

(apr 24) hi guys sorry for not posting anything in a while. school's anniversary week and it's absolutely draining now that instead of going home at noon, i now go to school in the evening. i basically live inside the school now

(apr 27) IM BACK! but i'll still be gone in a few days. still have a lot of things to do and too tired to make story prompts.

(may 12) i have to make to make an announcement in may cuz i don't wanna miss a month just in case. also, to make sure i actually did say something interesting: here's my most popular post

(may 22) ok uh im kinda having a slight anxiety attack rn due to drinking three cups of coffee in one sitting

(may 22, pt2) ??? aight, sorry for the past announcement. it was me freaking out. anyway, im fine now and just listening to music to calm myself down. ngl it's getting hot now with three layers of blanket i just put myself in.

(may 26) on may 24 i think... i called, and they hung up.

(may 27) sorry for making the last announcements too personal. anyway, i noticed that i've been reading a lot lately and been getting into different fandoms thanks to this website. might make a blog dedicated to making reviews. dunno

(june2) wassup. birthday and graduate here. and also a fellow pride month celebrator.

(aug 15) woah, been gone for quite a while. anyway, hi.

(oct 8) literally didn't make a single update on september lol. hi hello welcome to another update on my announcements log. so let me give you all a proper update on what's been going on:

i am now officially a college student (yippee), and the workload is so oh my god. all current projects i have will either be on hiatus or dropped. such as The Rooftop, which I'll be honest I have not even realized existed until i read my past updates. anyway, yeah, hi.

[c0rpseductor]

im just doing all of these at once regardless of likes and i'm doing it here because i hate twitter's character limit. and i love the sound of my own voice. feel free to steal it from me if you like in fact please do

i listen to music when i write Sometimes. i try to keep it to stuff without lyrics or stuff with lyrics in a language i don't speak fluently enough for them to distract me. sometimes i do listen to music in english if i've heard the song so many times that i can kind of tune out the words but in general music with lyrics pulls the language bits in my brain in too many directions

i tell my close friends about plans for my fics and talk to them about it and sometimes let them beta sections of writing but in general i'm a no beta/loose beta kind of guy.

third person limited babyyyyyyyyyy

depends. i used to write more often in past tense but i switched to present recently and i feel like the immediacy of present makes it a lot easier for me especially where more figurative prose is concerned. i've been meaning to try past tense again just to see if it's really more difficult or if my decision to switch tenses is unrelated

pretty even mix. i start and abandon longfics like nobody's business

see above.

i guess if you count oc/canon or oc/oc stuff as rarepairs but. not really? shrug

i try really hard to write principal characters as close to canon as possible, but background characters i take more liberties with. in general i don't like discarding canon characterization bc it feels like, ok, why not just write an oc? after a certain point. like the point is that i enjoy the character as depicted yknow

i don't really think about this. if you put some cliches or tropes in front of me in a story i'd be able to identify them and say whether or not i like them but a lot of times it's contextual and i like the execution more than the trope itself. or vice versa. i like reincarnation romance conceptually but do not often like the way it's written

i fucking hate omegaverse. gender is a prison

obviously im an emetwol freak. emetwol is my otp. sickos voice

i dont have any notps really. i dont spend time thinking about specific ships i hate i just ignore them

nice dichotomy, now what lies outside it? i guess i like both fluff and smut but i don't know that i really care for fluff vs smut as a binary. my personal definition of "fluff" encompasses any particularly tender feel-good warm fuzzy kind of fiction and that doesn't preclude sexual intimacy in the slightest. conversely i love a good bit of tender feel-good warm fuzzy smut but do not really like "fluff" in the way i tend to see it used in fandom as specifically like sexless "wholesome" feel-good slice of life stuff a la coffee shop au. nothing wrong with that but i get a little bored of it unless it's a breather in a longer work with dramatic weight personally

i love angst. i think my personal hangup is that angst has to have a point and be about something. angst for the sake of angst inevitably feels kind of cheap and shallow to me. whenever i write angst it's like to process something specific so i tend to have a lesson in mind at the end of the work

in the shower or lying awake in bed at night the same as everyone else i assume

plantser. i always have an outline in mind but it's flexible. vague. mutable. gossamer

i title my chapters and i kick myself for starting the habit every time bc i'm dogshit at titles

i think most of my pet peeves are smut-related which says a lot about me. stop saying core to mean vagina. stop saying sex as a noun for genitals. i never want to see sac again. also i fucking despise orbs as a noun for eyes and i thought we'd abolished that like via geneva convention sometime in 2015 but people still use it.

scene transitions and communicating the passage of time. im still working on that

bold of my amateur ass to give advice but i think READ REAL BOOKS. is high on the list. not just fiction, either. read nonfiction, both bc it can be surprisingly engaging and poetically written and because it's good to learn facts about things. read wikipedia. recipe blogs. i dont care. read everything you possibly can that is not fanfiction. and when you are watching tv and movies pick apart every narrative you encounter to see how it works. you will be a better writer for it i promise

[yuukei-yikes]

your kenjirou fanfic made me curious... what are your hcs for haruka's dad?

TY FOR READING IT :D erm erm let me link the fanfic again. maybe i can tempt someone to read it. i wrote a little about haruka's dad in there😳 bur also bc i will be talking abt it in this post heh

SURPRISINGLY i dont have a super concrete headcanon for haruka's dad? i see the consensus is that He Sucks and He's Awful and another hc ive seen a lot is he HATES takane because SHE MAKES HARUKA WANNA LIVE😩😩😩... which is kinda funny to me.

i dont think mr kokonose hates takane. i dont think he knows she exists! i think he spent so little time with haruka and even less time actually chatting with him he would've never met takane or even heard about her a lot. he probably knows haruka has one classmate and has probably heard her name but i doubt he'd care to remember it. another thing abt haruka's dad hating takane bc She Makes Him Wanna Live.. i dont think he'd KNOW about haruka's pain and how much he wants to live. he never spent time with haruka or talked with him to know him so personally, especially since haruka was in denial and doesn't even admit to himself he's desperate to live until he's in his last months of life.

about the general idea haruka's dad is an asshole. well... ITS PRETTY MUCH IN TEXT. haruka describes him as an offbeat guy who plays life straight and narrow and never jokes around. also the kind of person who can tell a 10 year old boy who just lost his mom "Hey ur also gonna die in a few years" lol. so yeah probably not the Best guy around

haruka's "whatever" attitude (ive talked abt this in another post i know sorry im repeating) i think comes a lot from his dad?? like since his dad acts Whatever about everything + his illness especially, haruka also learned to be like that. it's pretty much the only reference he has and the only coping tool he can find. so haruka represses his feelings and feels like he has no right to say them out loud. for example when he realises he's in love with takane. he says "i feel i have no right to say it". that has something to do with haruka being conditioned to believe nothing he feels or does matters, because he's just gonna die soon anyway.

it's also said mr kokonose became Weird once haruka's mother passed. i was never a fan of this detail because... hm... scientist dad becomes cold and distant after mother passes away because he just loved her So Much........ why does that sound familiar?

jin i respect u for writing men so deeply in love with their wives but there's too much repetition there with the tateyama parents. like girl.... personally, I'd rather imagine haruka's dad like he's Always been a weird distant guy. in fact not only that but i headcanon his mother was like this as well. i think it's easy to hc the mom to be as cheerful and nice as haruka since we know exactly nothing about her personality, but idk why i enjoy the hc where both of haruka's parents were kind of cold and not very affectionate people in the first place. and when the mom passes, haruka's dad kinda goes No Contact. it just adds to haruka being so desperate for any kind of connection with people LOL like my guy doesn't even THINK of his dad when he's dying

these are one of haruka's dying thoughts 😭😭😭 like HE JUST. DJFDKFKRKFK SORRY ITS A LITTLE FUNNY HE MENTIONS KENJIROU AND NOT HIS DAD‼️‼️‼️ dont get me started on kenjirou and haruka's father/son relationship (will get started)

ok haruka's dad works at research labs. in the fanfic i wrote i also made it to be like. he researches diseases and vaccines and shit. i think he'd do that kinda job. and i think it's very much motivated by his family. and since he did that kinda job he knew how hopeless haruka was, especially after the passing of the mom. mr kokonose being like welp. might as well crush his hopes before they even exist👍 like maybe he feels like he's doing some good by preparing haruka for the truth lol ...and maybe haruka's dad technique is like erm. i was already sad my wife died so ill keep distance from haruka so i dont get sad again 👍 so its rather a selfish move on his part to tell that to haruka. like i dont wanna dad u anymore this shit sucks

like i said i dont have a concrete hc i honestly do kinda enjoy the idea of haruka's dad just not giving a fuck about him LMAOOO BUT for the sake of answering, the way i wrote it in the fanfic was different.

the fanfic is about kenjirou. so when i wrote abt harukas dad it was more about kenjirou and haruka's bond than about haruka and his dad. like since earlier in the fanfic kenjirou has that convo with haruka and takane where haruka realises he's trying to admit his role in their deaths and haruka kinda asks him like. PLEASE JUST LIE LIKE I DONT WANNA KNOW. and kenjirou isnt even able to lie for their sake. it really broke haruka's heart and ruins his (and takane's) image of kenjirou. so when i wrote the bit abt haruka's dad later on, i wanted it to be more about... kenjirou knowing just how much of a bad dad mr kokonose is, particularly because kenjirou played a father figure for haruka in the past. yet he fails him so so badly. not only that but kenjirou is so focused/depressed about kano refusing to speak to him at the moment. so when he finds out mr kokonose is Apparently managing a bond with haruka, kenjirou is like AUUGGGGHH because this OTHER dad he once considered a bad dad is doing better than him. kenjirou fucked up his bond with haruka AND kano. thats kinda what i was trying to do there, idk if i did it succesfully LOL i also think he and kenjirou should be old man yaoi together bc it'd be funny. anyways moving on

yeah i think haruka and his dad would be in each others lives post str. i also think it'd be DEEPLY awkward for both of them its definitely NOT the father/son bonding of all time. lol. they see each other not super often and when they do it's not that cool. since its mentioned haruka's dad plays life Straight and Narrow he isn't super excited abt haruka's poor excuses about where he's been, why is he not dead/dying anymore and WHAT DO YOU MEAN ur drawing for a living WHAT DOES THAT MEAN‼️‼️‼️ so haruka probably. doesn't visit a lot❤️ but maybe haruka gifts him a painting and despite his dad doesnt understand how the hell haruka's paying rent he still puts the painting up. and haruka sees the painting is on the wall next time he visits and while neither says anything, haruka's thankful for the acknowledgment and his dad likes the painting and appreciates the gift. i think that's as tender as they can get lol.

erm erm haruka's dad doesn't know how to deal with this unexpected turn of events like. his dead kid just suddenly showed up again. whats a cringe old man to do?

in the fanfic i also wrote it like he kinda thought takane was cool bc she had a more stable job than haruka LMAOOOO that was sorta just a callout to what i talked abt earlier, since a popular hc says mr kokonose would dislike takane. so i was like you know what. lets make it he likes her better than haruka (<- my insane need to make everyone love takane)

quick takane mention please let me mention takane. i think haruka would refuse to bring takane to meet his dad bc seeing his dad is just so. emotionally draining and doesn't want her to sit through that and he's also probably like. passive aggressive a lot and haruka knows takane would kill the guy. sooo yeah. eventually theyd obviously meet and it is as painful as one can imagine bc mr kokonose probably googled what to say and is treating meeting your son's girlfriend like its a job interview. haruka and takane walk out of there in Shock. but yeah he likes her in his own weird way

conclusion: i wrote abt it mostly because of kenjirou. i agree haruka's dad is probably a dickhead but he could be a funny one too👍

[smoosnoom]

Lately I've been having a hard time writing anything. I keep having ideas that I think are good then I sike myself out and go "Oh, someone else has probably already written that," which is weird, cause I'd read 500 fics of the same ship in the same coffeeshop!au and not even bat an eye. I don't care if I've read the same trope or setting or idea over and over (I like it, actually) but when I'm the one writing I feel like I have to do something totally unique and I think it's cause I'm worried of being compared to other better writers who just... write better (<- exhibit A) OR worse, accidentally plagiarize someone? Like without remembering that, oh I've already read this before this isn't an original thought at all?? But if it's an idea that hasn't been done before there's nothing to compare. Right. So. Therapy session over.

Do you ever worry about writing something that's already been written? Do you ever check AO3 tags to see if somethings been done before/too much/not enough, etc.? Or are you excited to write something that's been done and put your own spin on it?

Maybe I should do the complete opposite and find the most overpopulated tag and write that so it gets drowned in the others and then there's too many to compare! That's like.. can't beat 'em join 'em or smthin. Yeah.

UUUGH MOOON I knooooow all my ideas are unoriginal but so is everyone else's 1!! And everyone's basic and just wants to see two losers in love hold hands so I should just get over it !! Like I know this objectively but how do I make me feel it SUBJECTIVELY !!

idk, Moon. Today's just not that day u kno

ok . anon . i need u to look me in my eyes 👁👁 and please listen carefully to what im abt to say to u .

Everything Ever Has Already Been Written .

like every trope ever and every idea ever and every dynamic ever and every character ever and everything literally ever .

but uknow what hasnt been written ! these tropes ! by You !!!!!!

the way u write it is what makes it entirely unique . i absolutely worry about the things i write and if theyre even like . special in their way at all or if they even stand out in any possible manner but if u arent word-for-word copying something someone else has written, then yes !!! it will stand out !!!!! itll be something special and unique because its never been written the way u will !!!! that is literally it

so yea if u are worrying so much about the things ur writing and if theyve already been written then yes probably ! humans can only be so imaginative when it comes to tropes and stories but the way u write it and ur narration and turn of phrases and metaphors and adjective and dialogue have never been written the way u will, and thats what makes it good and great and amazing ! thats why people eat up the same au five hundred times !!!!! thats why people will eat up UR writing !!!!! ur going to do it in a way that just gets people going Oh my go d . u know what i mean ?

so yes i worry and i check and i feel absolutely terrible about it . but if i dont and i just feel great about writing Something at alll then it always turns out 1000% better because im not upset abt it ! readers can sometimes tell ur enthusiasm and passion being put into a work, and i think its best if u let it all go and write what ur heart is calling to . that by itself will make it all the special u need it to be

or dont idk im just . trying my best and sometimes it works out ! do what u want write what makes u proud eat what makes u full !!!!! and if u ever need someone to just . hit u with a hammer and let uknow that whatever ur writing is great and fantastic then I Am Here !

today has potential to get better ! tomorrow is on its way with a new beginning !!! u have me cheering u on !!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 good luck !!!!!!!!!

[ayatoscupid]

💫💫💫 please please! (i'd love a fun fact about ayato, i actually don't know a whole lot about him yet!)

AGH!!!! my beloved, my #1 !! i will 100% talk abt him and give u all the deets (maybe not all of them . but ill give u deets)

ill put it under cut bc this is LONG!! and will be a lotta observation and speculation bc we dont get a lot of ayato other than from festival events 🥹 hoyoverse whyd u give us such an interesting man n not have him show up more!!!! now ppl think hes boring!!!!! >:( its ok lol more for me

but Anyway!! one of the most notable things youll learn about ayato is his views on loyalty: he is ALL about loyalty. not just for others’ loyalty towards him, but his loyalty towards others as well. this man has nothing but pure dedication towards the clan n the commission, willing to do Anything for the benefit of his clan and those he deems worthy of his loyalty. u see this when u find out he had a hand in helping kazuha escape, and that he smuggled the watatsumi army into tenshukaku for his sister

he is also a Very observant and cunning man- his plans in irodori fes were to unveil to kazuha and ayaka the truth about the raiden gokaden (he knew what happened when scara was in the warehouse to scour thru kaedehara belongings), and from this current event [SPOILER ALERT!!!] he knew about the yokai who set up akitsu yuugei and held the test of courage to help them get people to play it (which is so sweet!! honestly!!). its like he has eyes all over inazuma- which, with the shuumatsuban, he probably does

which is why i Constantly think about how terrifying it would be if he was your enemy

he may be all polite and sweet to save face- he is a man high up in the hierarchy, after all- but official works have told us time and time again that he is NOT afraid to use underhanded techniques to get his way, or to do what he feels is right, and there is a Lot more to him than he shows. it’s honestly great that he seems to be a “good guy” morally and that we’re friends with him- if he were an enemy i think we’d have a very different view on him

(ngl? controversial opinion. he has the same voice actors as otto from honkai for a reason- there r similarities here ok. HGKRBFKRJFJ i hate otto tho 😔)

a man who, after losing his parents, rose to bring his clan up from the absolute brink of collapse and made it not only in a stable position- but in the tri-commission is 100% not to be messed with. he is smart, tactful and cunning, and he always has something up his sleeve to turn the tables in his favour.

‘"What exactly is he up to?" is usually what people are thinking after all is said and done.

However, now that everyone has a piece of that pie, perhaps what is on Kamisato Ayato's mind isn't so important.’

this Always rings in my head whenever i think deeper into ayatos character. it was what first intrigued me to him honestly- i fell in love with him after seeing his burst (ik.. not immune to pretty man.. lol) but i already thought he was interesting from his official introduction. n god he rly is!!!! and i wanna see more of it!!!! both in irodori and this festival i was always 🤯 whenever i find out the true motive behind ayato’s plans. he’s so SMART and SNEAKY!!!!

ik its easy to think of ayato as a handsome, loyal, cheeky but sweet family man bc that’s how he’s written as ingame- the writers r usually in favour with most charas’ good sides than more nuanced writing (they changed this up heavily w/ scara, which i Really appreciate) so it’s no surprise that ayato was written like this as well (that and the heavy npc focus in his sq- i liked it but i get why others didnt LOL)

but! lets not forget how constantly we’re reminded of how crafty and mischievous he can be :squint: and lets not forget how lucky we are to be on his good side LMAO

oh god ok this was SUUUUPER long. i think im done. i just love him. if he showed up more this wld be even longer. maybe i shld thank hyv he doesnt show up that often cries

[imy2]

tlkin abt shows vlongtext

A) watched carol & the end of the world n it was nice to see fat main characters n also for their fatness to not be the central point of them, carol was relatable too .. 'to know that with all this potential i should've raised up but i never did' , - well to me that's how it felt.. 4/5

B) watched kipo ataowb again - loved it ofc, didnt love the fitness raccoons djjgnjd what a ridiculous sentence.. ok they were fine actually im just sensitive </3 then dave aop saying 'that was twice the calories' ... again whatever actually.. 5/5

1-1} just started z nation again :p i love murphy i do .. strapped down n eaten alive like. then dragged around by some military fucks in the apocalypse.. •

"yeah well why don't you take it then" - "don't leave me to the zombies man. don't leave me! don't let me turn, you bastard - pike me! pike me or i will hunt you down and eat your brains!" , and right beforee - hammond 'i give you mercy' to the other prisoner , if that's not a set up. murphy kept chasing that mercy ahhh i feel him i do. then ofc warren right after. 'i give you mercy'. yeahyeah .. •

"it's ok, she was ready to go" "aren't we all" garnett lmfao. •

"well i guess i won't shoot him.. yet" warren's first line to(kinda) murphy. i love rewatching. •

"an ex cop and some others taking shelter in a prison up the road" nod to twd o.O man i shld be allowed to fight rick. nyway.. •

didnt rmbr sketchy and skeezy being ep1 love that excited to watch their story again•

8 bites ur kiddin me.. murphy 🤝 me •

aww 10k intro is saving doc ofc •

zombaby will always be so great .. WAIT i didnt rmbr he fking kills hammond.. welp.. deservedkinda .. lmfaoo "none of this would've happened if you just left the baby" "i didn't tell hammond to go get eaten by a baby" garnett laugh2 •

ahhh citizen z ofc... "here's a little smth for all of u out there w 3000 miles of bad road btwn u and home.. i hope u can hear it" .. 'have mercy or u don't have nothing at all and you're still alive!' •

ok unexpected liveblog of ep1 over...

d2 / /

1-2} we were made to walk thru this fire <- e2 end song, truee o7•

1-3} cassandra ugh <3 :'( each time it gets me so bad •

"everybody out there - whether you're hiding in a cave or running for your life, just keep doin' whatcha gotta do to stay alive; bash 'em, slash 'em, bust 'em, and burn 'em ... whatever it takes, just stay alive - no questions asked." <- citizen z ep3 (lol), 2024 motto ? •

1-4} "i'm telling you - there ain't nothin' there. no thoughts, no memories, no soul - nothing." where'sss my gif.. -"he just, you know, he seemed so... trapped. I couldn't even tell if there was a real person still in there sometimes." zombies 🤝 me (alcoholism esp ofc)•

ahhh doc airvent, classicc... "give me a kiss baby" ok doc did look hot n all covered in zombie guts sayin that but i'd look hotter ^_^ •

1-5} "it got to a certain point where i just gave up - didn't care if i lived or died. then a funny thing happened.. i didn't die. and with everything that's happened, it's been harder and harder to remember the past. i guess that's a good thing, right?" damn garnett. •

citizen z pouring a shot into his dogs used bowl then going 'oops' n drinking it himself. very real i wouldve done that .. "the only thing worse than drinking alone is not drinking" nooo citizen z dont tell me those words •

goodbye murphy's hair u wont be seen again for a while.. his first 4eps look was so cute, his now bald look is nice too•

"and suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. yet it is only love which sets us free." awwww don't think i've ever noticed antoine's writing of that poem in the photobook warren looks at ;-; 'my love always' <3 "i have to wait for him this time. i owe him that much. - it's like you said, i can't start forgetting til i know." •

1-6} damn then right after.. first time sex w new lovr getting interruptd for them to be killed. literally tragic •

"but if we're lucky, someday this will be over.and next time, i hope we get it right." real of u citizen z •

1-7} sketchy again! "we navigated our way up" - "we" with no mention yet of skeezy bc duh ofc "we" . •

1-8} "murphy - don't you leave." "you got me as far as you could." ... "you came back." "i did." •

1-9} "we don't leave each other behind." "i came back for you - i'll always come back for you." / "we never stood a chance." "woah. woah, hold on. what are you saying to me?" "think about it, like.. our relationship - what's it based on? .. we don't even know each other." "we've kept each other alive. we've been there for each other. ... yeah, yeah - we got a lot of bad shit to go through before this is all over, but.. i need you. i don't know what you're talking about, 'we don't have a chance'." "for the last three years, we have never thought about anything past tomorrow. ,, what kind of future do you and i have? what are we gonna do - we gonna get married? , i can't even think about that stuff, like it's crazy, it's impossible." "but we have each other." .... idc abt mack rly also addys s1 hair is ofc atrocious •

1-10} "if i haven't said anything lately - thank you so much, universe - for my whole situation! .. i'm not like other boys, i do not give mercy." murphy again •

1-11} "aw man don't get down on yourself like that; you're a perfect hunk of man-meat, don't you ever forget it." lol doc...also im surprised every time lucy happens s1 •

1-12} murphy got his cool eyes on now.. i want those eyes •

1-13} oo i feel bad for murphy.. doc casually tlking abt leaving him to be experimented on :( also the group casually tlkin abt splittin up.. wdym its the apocalypse y wldnt u stick together...•

oh cassandra :((• also newmurphyagain..welcome blueman

welp that's s1 done.. not sure if will continue taking notes.. just been anxious so occupying time :p

nvm cant sleep yet hehe..

2-1} cassandra :( murphy -_- absolutely atrocious•

"maybe there are worse things than being a zombie. maybe being a starving, fearful, violent, vindictive human is worse." nooo .. too real murphs(lol).. #alcoholism•

ooo hey vasquez •

'love her forever and ever again and love's made a fool out of me' need to listen to that sounded good •

okayyy.. now sleep ig..

[chewsdays]

let’s... talk

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

Ransom behind the scenes (1of ???)

No permission to post or use my writing anywhere theres language from ransom but basically fluff. Soft ransom yea i cant think if any waring but reblogs are welcome

part 1

"Jesus fuckin-" "Ransoooom" "Sorry honey" he kissed her on her forehead "Why are you sorry? I'm not a born again I feel bad for you Mr. Glutton for Punishment We can just move away start all over." He sighed. "But this is our home." "Your home."

Ransom looked like his puppy got kicked and lowered his head as his shoiders raised up. He wanted it to be their home. He wanted her forever. The two of them to live happily ever after so he hated wheb the words 'Your home' was used. Because he wanted her to feel at home.  "You know what I mean." She stroaked his face with her knuckles until his shoulders relaxed  "You wanna talk about it" "What? Me being a loser dirtbag on the lastest drugs." "Well I for one hope you lose the dirt on your shoes and all the baggage that makes others turn to drugs. How was that?" He smiles. "Rediculous" adding a laugh that shook his shoulders. "I wish I-" "No" "Could tell them off." "Not my sweet girl." "Ransom you shouldn't have to bear this alone. It's what a partner is for. A girlfriend and im not talking friends, im talking love." He couldn't help but to try to hide a smile. "I love you" she giggled. He wrapped his arm around her. "I love you to." "Then introduce me." "No." He insisted. "I'm not saying I want them around our children  but-" His head stilled and his eyes widened. "Relax I'm not pregnant." "I'm just saying I read between the lines. I know how you feel and even if we dont get married and we go our own ways I," she paused making sure this is phrased right. "I don't want you to shoulder this burden alone. You don't need to." He kissed her temple. "Id kill you before I'd walk away or let you leave" "Ransom" "Yea" "You say the most romantic things." She said with a straight face and he burst out laughing. He took his coat off and hung it up. "Your boss called by the way" "Ugh" he rolled his eyes. "I'm proud of you." "I'm still not going" "You dont want the award then I'll take it." "I'd love to gear your speech." "Ladies and gentleman i am accepting the award on behalf of my boyfriend Hugh Ransom, who doesn't use drysdale or thromby,  who is an asshole for thinking that he isnt worth being celebrated for his achievements." "Not bad." "Ran. Hey listen to me. You isolated that gene it took you two years of your life. Now either you get your ass up on that stage next week to accept the award or I will drug you,  tye you up, put you on one of those rolling thingies deliverymen use  and roll you up there. The choice is yours. But keep in mind if I do have to drug you then you won't be able to dance with me in that navy blue sweetheart neckline high slit dress you love so much." Ransom rolled his eye. He knew what she was doing. And frankly she was good. She knows that he knows that she can use a slit against him. Anything that let him place a hand on any part of her thigh. "Fine," she sighs. Taking his scarf off his neck to play with "I'll just drug you and dance with John." "What no." His eyes widened "John is an ass his hands wander more than his eyes.." "And God have you see that ass could bounce a quater off that thing," she raised her eyebrows. "I know what you're doing by the way," Ransom leaned on the doorway and crossing his arms over his body wearing a  beautiful blue sweater that brought out his eyes. "Is it working." "Mmm," he stalked over and put his arms around her "Yes." "You sure you don't even want to tell Harlan?"

"I don't even want to tell the dogs." "Ok love." He pecked her lips. "Dinner's almost ready." She walked past hin to check the food Ransom followed her into the kitchen "I thought you knew I'd be eatting at Harlans'" he looks at the sauce and stirs it. "Really? " he never actually stays for a meal "Can I finish it." "Ugh," she rolled her eyes; "one day you're going to have to tell me the secret" "Mmmm nope." "But I want to cook it for you one day." "You do babe all the time." "No I don't." She pouted. "I never get to finish. Don't you want to relax?" "No now you go change, relax and I'll  finish. Cooking is how I relax." He kissed her forehead. She wined. And he rolled his eyes. "Its not gunna work." She huffed. "I can get you to do anything else but tell me what is in that sauce." "We all have our secrets." "You're no slowly posioning me with arsonic are you?" "No." He went to dip his pinkie in the sauce "Wash your hands." She scoled. "You're right sorry," he threw up his hands in defeat. And went to wash his hands. She stood watching. "Hey can I-" "No." "You don't even know what I was gunna say." "You want to meet Harlan." "You're evil."