#ok done! there's a couple i wasn't sent but it's a bit late and i still need to start eunah's so i'm not accepting anymore!!

[artist-emerald]

Double Surprise: a Broppy One Shot

It was another day for the Trolls: singing, dancing, hugging, overcoming issues and settling disputes. Poppy was doing her best as Queen, making sure her Pop Troll subjects were happy, and that the other tribes in Trollstopia had what they needed. Making time for her friends, her family, but most importantly, her boyfriend.

Branch, the village ex-recluse, was also busy. While everyone was having fun, he was making sure they were safe doing so. Hard hats, safety cushions, designated quite time areas for when a Troll just needs to take a break. He has come a long way from hiding himself in his bunker, to fully being a part of the Trolls community. Having his brothers back in his life was one thing, but to have so many other friends was something he couldn't have seen for himself in the past. All of that was thanks to his girlfriend, Poppy.

They didn't always have busy days like this, but with so much to do and so many Trolls, it wasn't surprising. It was late in the afternoon. Poppy had just officiating a little dance contest between the Funk Trolls and the Techno Trolls, to which a winner wasn't important because they all had fun. Poppy was heading out to meet with Branch a little outside the village for a small picnic dinner they had planned. She was making her way to the meeting spot when she felt a sudden dip in energy. Her legs became heavy, muscles sore, a slight migraine, and the ever so slightest cramp in her stomach.

She stumbled a bit, but some nearby Trolls were able to catch her and help her back on her feet. They asked if she was ok and suggested she see the doctor. Poppy assured them she was fine, but to put them at ease, promised to see Dr. Moonbloom.

She stepped into Dr. Moonbloom's waiting room, where to her surprise she saw Branch sitting there as well. "Branch?! What are you doing here? Are you okay?" Poppy quickly became worried for him. Branch got up and tried to ease her worry, "I'm fine, just got a little weak earlier so I thought I'd stop in before meeting you for our picnic."

"Really? That's weird, the same thing happened to me!" Poppy's statement then made Branch start to worry, "The same thing? Are you ok?" Poppy simply hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek to calm him and reassure him that she's ok.

Dr. Moonbloom stepped out, "I overheard everything. If you both experienced the same symptoms, I might as well take you both in right now." The couple followed the doctor into the examination room. Dr. Moonbloom took their temperatures, pressures, the usual stuff for walk-ins. They each described their symptoms to the doctor, along with everything they had done during the day that led to that moment. "Well it seems to me like you two went and over exerted yourselves a bit. It does sound like you two had a busy day, and didn't keep up with your hydration and food intake."

She suggested the couple take it easy for the rest of the day, and sent them on their way. Hand in hand, they went to their meeting spot for their picnic. They watched as the sun set and the stars fill up the sky. All while enjoying each other's company. They were cuddled up to each other, their hair entwined in a twist of colors, their fingers locked together.

"Branch look! A shooting star!" Poppy excitedly pointed to the sky as a line of stardust shot across the sky. "Well, what did you wish for?" Branch asked playfully. "I wished for someone else's wish to come true, because right now there isn't a single thing that I need." Poppy said as she closed in for a kiss with her beloved.

It was getting late, and the two needed to turn in so they could get the rest that their doctor prescribed. "So...you're place or mine?" Poppy asked Branch while giving him a sly look. Branch's ears perked up and his cheeks changed color as he blushed. "Your choice, my queen." Branch replied in a playful banter. The two giggled as they made their way to Poppy's pod, where they promptly passed out on her bed in a tight embrace.

They woke up groggy and with a crushing migraine. They were confused as to why they were feeling so sick since they took it easy like the doctor told them. "I think I might have something back at the bunker to help with this, I'll be back soon." Branch said as he kissed Poppy on the forehead and slowly made his way out. "Noooooo, don't leave meeeeee!" Poppy groaned as she reached for her boyfriend. "I'll be baaaaack." Branch replied as he left.

Minutes passed, and Poppy started to feel worse. Her body getting hotter, the migraine growing. She made her way to the mirror to look at herself. She didn't look sick, but as she stared at herself she felt the pain simply, disappear. Her eyes widened, she cupped her hands over her mouth to withhold her gasp. She looked up in her reflection, slowly and gently parting her hair to reveal the source of her dilemma. Sitting within her hair was a small egg, colored with a swirl of pink and blue.

"Oh my gosh...oh my gosh!" Poppy's energy came back to her ten fold. She wrapped her hair around her egg to protect it from her outburst as she jumped and cheered. "I'm a mother! Oh my gosh this is so sudden, so overwhelming, so...Branch! I-I gotta go tell him!"

Elsewhere, Branch was panicking. In his hair there lied a small egg colored in a swirl of blue and pink. An egg he wasn't expecting, an egg he wasn't prepared for, and certainly an egg he hadn't talked about with Poppy. "Poppy! Oh man, how is she going to react to this? Well, most likely positive, but it's not something we ever talked about. I mean she's great with kids, but me? Am I ready for this?"

Branch pulled himself up, brushed himself off, and took a deep breath. "Either way, I can't hide this from her. She'd be more upset with me if I tried that." Branch left his bunker to find Poppy.

They found each other half way between their homes. "Branch! Branch! Oh my gosh the craziest thing, I feel so much better now!" Poppy said, trying her best to contain her excitement. "Oh hey, that's great! I'm feeling a bit better too!" Branch said, trying not to hide his nervousness. "So, I actually have a bit of a surprise for you." Poppy said as she took Branch by the hands. "Oh really? Well, funny thing, I also have a surprise for you. It's a bit last minute, but it's important!" Branch replied. Trolls were starting to come outside as the morning began, overhearing their conversation, they watched and listened in secret.

"Oh! Well, share both at the same time? Like how we did at the gift swap?" Poppy suggested. Branch's face lit up with a small smile as he nodded in agreement. They counted down to 3 in unison, and as they did they revealed the egg that they each had laid. Every Troll watching cheered in both shock and excitement, startling the couple to made a big hair dome to hide in. Branch was unarguably shocked by this development as he looked at the egg Poppy held. Poppy's eyes lit up with joy, and then her emotions began to get the better of her as she fell to her knees in tears.

Branch joined her on the ground as they took both the eggs in their arms. He was happy, not just because Poppy was happy, but because he was now happy that not only did they bring one new Troll to the world, but two. "It's a double baby! Branch I'm so happy right now! I'm gonna be a mess for a while." Poppy nuzzled Branch's chest as she gave tiny kisses to their eggs. "Me too, heart. Me too."

[fmdminheearchive]

idol headcanon / not accepting!

send ◙ for an audition headcanon. ( wc: 232 ) minhee auditioned for bc entertainment when she was fourteen years old, and she actually skipped school to go to it. she didn’t want her parents, her mother in particular, to find out that she went to the auditions before she at least had a callback. she knew her mother probably wouldn’t approve, but she didn’t know that her mother had already turned down some offers of private auditions over the years. at her initial audition, minhee sang and danced. singing was secondary in her mind that day, and she sang something that she could talk-sing through for the most part.  she was extremely nervous about singing, but was hopeful that her dance skills would make up for the poor show. for the dance portion, she danced a routine that scored her first place in a competition a few weeks previously. as mentioned, she was most scared of her mother’s disapproval once she did get a callback, but to everyone’s surprise, her mother went along with the rest of the audition process happily. really, minhee’s mother was just excited to seize the opportunity, thinking that minhee’s own wishes were finally lining up with hers, and that her auditioning of her own volition meant that she was serious about hitting the big time too. while that may have been true to an extent, minhee’s ambitions were nowhere near as fame hungry as her mother’s. 

send ○ for a training headcanon. ( wc: 210 ) by now, i think that everyone knows the classic “hwang minhee’s mother forced her to get a nose job before letting her start training so that she would go into bc entertainment as perfect as she could possibly be”. but besides that, minhee was only a trainee for just over a year before she debuted as lipstick’s maknae. she already had a considerable background in dance training, and probably would’ve gone professional in the next couple of years had she not auditioned for bc, so most of her time as a trainee was focused on maintaining her skill level in dance and bringing her up to a somewhat acceptable level in rap. minhee was fairly confident in her chances at debuting because she was such a good dancer, but she was also afraid of her rap skills dragging her down. back then she was really just about passable, and it was a skill she had to build from the ground up. it was never a passion of hers, it was just a matter of bc’s trainers deciding that they would teach her to rap because she could barely sing. she always felt a little bad for the couple of girls who genuinely seemed to rap with their hearts and souls.

send ♥ for a headcanon about something my muse likes about being an idol. ( wc: 216 ) it’s cheesy, but minhee loves dancing and performing more than anything else. as mentioned previously, she would have gone professional as a contemporary dancer within a handful of years if she hadn’t auditioned for bc. the feeling of being on stage is a feeling compared to no other, even after all of these years, and being recognised for her talents. even if at first she was pushed into it by her mother, nowadays minhee performs for herself. being on stage like that is kind of a late rebellion against her mother. she’s grown a lot as a performer too, and she’s definitely much happier following her path as an idol than she would have been going down the road her mother laid out for her. she definitely didn’t always feel so pleased with her decision, but she grew into it gradually. so despite all the bad experiences she’s had in the industry, minhee feels happy and extremely lucky to be able to live out her dancing dreams on mostly her own terms. she has to deal with bc entertainment’s strict management and the expectations of her fans, but at the very least, she’s free from her mother, no matter how much she admittedly would still like just a little bit of validation from the old woman.

send ♫ for a performance headcanon. ( wc: 218 ) minhee is definitely not a natural born performer. people (her mother) like to say that she danced before she could walk, but that’s simply not the truth. in all actuality, minhee was bred to be a performer by her mother, who sent her to dance lessons starting at three years old. that being said, it is something she has always enjoyed, despite how hard it was pushed onto her. she loves being up on stage and having all eyes on her. she’s able to lose herself in it, and she gets the added bonus of feeling everyone’s attention following her as she dances. it’s so fun for her, to get up there, perform, escape from everything going on in the real world and interact with the crowd. being on stage suits her well. over the years, she’s started to feel incredibly free while performing, unlike in lipstick’s early days when she felt trapped by their sexy concept, and really takes every opportunity that she can to enjoy herself. minhee has become somewhat of a concept chameleon as she’s learned to have fun on stage and as she’s grown into her own skin. she’s a strong performer because of her obvious passion for it, along with her immaculate technique, something from a lifetime of training that she’s never lost. 

send ☀ for a variety headcanon. ( wc: 215 ) with her cutie sexy maknae image, minhee is known for being silly and kind of playing dumb most of the time on variety shows. a lot of people aren’t able to tell when she’s playing it up for the cameras and only acting like she doesn’t know something from when she’s actually being serious. she’s become so good at it that sometimes, not even her own members and close friends can tell. she’s very good at game and personality based variety shows because of her natural silliness, and never shies away from the chance to show off her aegyo because yes, she is that embarrassing. general knowledge is definitely her downfall because of her many random gaps of knowledge, and at some points over her career that’s been used to make her look stupid by some nasty hosts and editing teams. she really enjoyed filming roommate late last year, and would definitely prefer to do more fixed cast variety shows in the future, rather than traipsing through the same few single episode appearances that she does on shows throughout promotional cycles. these kinds of shows feel especially lonely to her while promoting solo, and it’s clear that she doesn’t shine as much on them without her members or other familiar women to fall back on.

send ☏ for a good fan experience headcanon. ( wc: 222 ) ever since minhee made a start on her solo career, she’s gained a lot more female fans, at least in her own personal fandom, lipstick and vanity aside. seeing this change has made minhee really happy, especially when she’s hosting solo events. demographics wise, her fans are still largely male presenting rather than female, but that only makes it extra special when she gets to see and talk with her female fans. in particular, she’s started to receive direct messages on instagram from more casual fans, usually younger teenage girls, who tell her that they find her dancing and music really enjoyable, and that watching her perform makes them want to dance too. she was a fan of several of her seniors in her early teens, and seeing cool, cute and powerful women dancing to pop music on stage is what inspired her to veer off her mother’s prescribed path. if she hadn’t had her own interest in being an idol piqued by girl groups, she might never have committed that act of rebellion and gone along to the open auditions that day, which would mean she wouldn’t be where she is now. the idea that she could inspire the same in a fan, and maybe even play a minuscule hand in their potential success one day is an extremely satisfying feeling.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part VII

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.

Words: 1864.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

________

You wanted to slap yourself. What the hell was wrong with you today? Why did you tell Peter that?!

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” Completely baffled with you behavior, you were deeply ashamed, unable to look the guy in the eyes and wanting nothing but fall into the earth.

“Ah, I got it. It’s Steve, isn’t it?” All of a sudden, Peter let out an irritated sigh, rolling his eyes skywards and rubbing his neck. “Of course, who else would say such nonsense. Blackmail, really? Funny he didn’t call me a stalker or anything.”

“Listen, I didn’t mean it, I’m really-”

“It’s ok.” He closed the locker, slamming its door loudly and making you jump. “It’s not your fault. If I heard that from somebody, I’d be scared too.”

He spent a couple of seconds staring into the wall until he rubbed his neck again tiredly and huffed. It took him less than a minute to regain his composure, and you heard him murmuring, “What a freak.”

He didn't return to the corridor, heading to the sports hall for his PE class, instead moving to the bench in the locker room and motioning you to sit. Feeling terribly awkward, you hoped he wasn't going to do anything out of anger, even though he had every right to be upset at your stupid behavior.

"About what he said," Peter took a deep breath, "it's nothing like that. I don't dig up some nasty stuff in the web to blackmail people. I've never done it. The reason why Mr. I-am-better-than-you said that is because I've made him take me into his little bodyguard group when I heard him talking to Loki. You're nice, and I wanted to help. Of course, Steve started acting like I was some creep, so he refused, and I had to remind him that, technically, he had to report your issue to the administration, not play a hero. I said that if I go and tell the whole story to the dean, Steve's gonna be in trouble because he knew who thieves were and didn't report them."

It was a loud off your mind. Goodness. Rogers called this a blackmail? Really? Just because Peter pushed Steve into taking him into their group?

You were less and less sure Rogers was sane. You definitely had to be careful around him.

"I can't believe he called it a blackmail." You admitted quietly, and the guy sent you a tired smile. "Peter, I'm so, so sorry. It was so stupid of me."

"Nah, don't worry. I'd freak out too if I didn't know the whole story."

You knew your apologies weren't enough, but you hoped Peter didn't take it to heart - if you can take such an accusation easily, that is. Shit, shit, shit, why did you believe everything these guys were saying? You didn't even know them in the first place! Why on Earth did you go asking them their opinions on others if all of them were biased, and every guy could twist the truth the way he liked? You shouldn't have let their words affect you that much.

"Whatever. At least now you know what Rogers is like." Peter sent you a grim smile and got up, picking his bright yellow sackpack from the floor. "Shit, I gotta go if I don't wanna be late. Let's meet in a library later, alright?"

"O-of course." You hurriedly stood up and left the lockers room after him, turning to the library: your Lit class was cancelled, so you decided to go study right away. At this time, the library was usually full, and you felt safe there.

Your thoughts were all about the guys again even when you were staring at your laptop, trying to focus on Excel numbers. Why did you feel like the atmosphere between them was so dense? If they were at such terms with each other, why did they group together to help you? What, because all of them loved you so much? It was ridiculous. There was something else to it, and you didn't know. You had a feeling no one was going to tell you the truth until you figured it all out by yourself.

Weird. It was all so weird. Steve's plan, their behavior, the relationships between them, and your nagging feeling they all were hiding something. Was it them who were actually following you?

The thought scared you to the point you started shivering. Oh shit.

"Hi there," the guy appeared behind your back so suddenly you almost jumped, looking at him wide-eyed, "sorry, did I startle you?"

"H-hi Jake! No, it's ok, I was just... studying." Both of you were talking in hushed voices, knowing the librarian would kick you out immediately if she heard some noise. "How are you?"

"I'm great, how're you?" You could hear concern in his voice: he was one of Thor's friends you met yesterday, and although you spoke briefly, Thor definitely told him more about you. "You look a bit worried."

"Oh, it's Math, I didn't really understand the topic, and we're having an exam on Monday... guess I'll be studying the whole weekend." You gave him your best smile to reassure you were totally ok, and the guy relaxed a little, smiling at you, too.

"I'm sure you'll pass. Thor said you're very smart."

What, he said that to all of them? Was he simply boasting about his girlfriend to his friends or was there something more to it?

"You're too kind. Thank you."

His smile grew wider, and he landed on the next seat to yours, resting his hands on the table. Apparently, there was something he wanted to talk to you about, and you grew uneasy.

"Listen, about these incidents... Thor told us all about it, so if you see any freaks following you around, you can message any of us, and we'll come right away." Looking at his serious expression, his bushy brows furrowed, you hoped he eas being sincere with you: you had enough with people you could no longer trust. "And also... that kid, if he's giving you troubles or anything, just let me know, and I'll tell him to keep his hands to himself"

Oh, he was talking about Peter, wasn't he? He had probably seen that silly photo. Wow, you though, Peter was totally right about Instagram: it was the best news source in the academy.

Thanking him for his concern, you laughed a little, convincing him there was nothing serious except for the theft and promising to tell him if anything weird would be going on. While it should have made you feel safer, in fact, you only grew more frustrated with this situation. You wanted to forget about these freaks and just spend you day like any normal student would, but everywhere you went people were staring at you as if you had a horn; one boyfriend or the other was always close to protect you from some unknown danger, and although you believed they tried to help, you hated the feeling they were hiding something from you. Why did you have to be going through all this? Wasn't it really better to drop off school, spend a year working and then apply to a better place?

Thinking of the faces your parents would make once you returned home, you realized it wasn't. This school with all those creeps wasn't worse than home that never felt like a safe place you wanted to come back to. Besides, all money you saved up until now were only good for buying food and things like that: you'd never afford to rent a decent place unless you found a well-paid job. It meant staying with your parents, and it wouldn't be much better than here, just different. If you wanted to drop off, you had to find a good place to stay.

Well, you could at least try, right?

When Peter met you in the library, the two of you no longer talked about anything important, simply studying together to prepare for the exams next week. It didn't feel off: from time to time you met his gaze, and the both of you smiled. You were thankful he didn’t talk about Steve or other guys or that weirdo in the lockers room.

Once you returned home, you went straight to bed, completely exhausted. Luckily, you did much more than yesterday, so you could rest now, but then you thought of Thor kissing you and bit down the pillow, angry at yourself. Why did you keep thinking of him right now?

______________

When you woke up the next morning, you felt like something was off: your body ached, your throat hurt, and your headache was only making it worse. Dammit, you caught a cold, probably. And that’s when it was finally the day to meet Steve, the guy you thought was a mastermind behind all these manipulations that were making you sick to the core. 

Anyway, it’s not like a mere cold would prevent you from doing everything you had planned. You left your bed and went to the bathroom, moving the dresser before again. 

Honestly, it felt terrible. It was definitely because of that flimsy dress you wore to school yesterday when the weather was becoming chilly. Argh. Watching your puffy eyes and swollen nose, you sneezed. Today you had to apply way more makeup to look decently.

Steve showed up earlier than either Thor or Peter: you had to skip your breakfast, hoping to buy something cheap in the cafeteria.

“Good morning.” He said with his everyday polite expression that soon shifted into a concerned one. “Are you alright?”

What, was it that bad? You did your absolute best to apply enough makeup and do your hair. Did you still look so sick?

“Good morning. Yes, I’m ok, just feeling a little sleepy.” You yawned on purpose, covering your mouth with your hand, and Steve’s face softened.

“Did you study all night?”

“Yep, exams are driving me a little crazy.”

“I understand. I also stayed late last night.”

Of course, the student council president studying all days long to be number one student in the academy. If you didn’t know of his twisted nature, you’d think he was the most typical nerd.

You spent most of the time either in silence or talking about studies, the academy, and everything related to it. Steve acted like a gentleman and a scholar, albeit a little too demonstratively. Walking with you as if he were a king of the place, he constantly replied to greetings of others, waved to his acquaintances and smiled. You felt so off you wanted to find Loki and walk with him: unlike Steve, he was considered unpleasant by the prevailing majority of students.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” America golden boy asked you for the last time, and you forced yourself to smile.

“Of course. Thanks for coming, see you later, Steve.”

As he finally left you in peace, you almost fell down into your chair, your fever only getting worse despite the fact you took some painkillers. It was going to be a long day.

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic @mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi @nectav @whatever-happened-to-the-ducks

[dilexit]

The Laundromat ~ IRL!Karl Jacobs

Summary: College isn't always exciting but even laundry days could make the front page

Pairing: Karl Jacobs x GN!Reader (preestablished relationship), College AU (kinda, basically Karl and the reader are in college but Karl is still a streamer because I wrote it then realized it didn't make sense later)

This is based on a story about my aunt that I find really cute

Warnings: Swearing, and I'm not sure if I need to TW this but like detergent and soap but it's just fluff

(R/m/n) = roommates name

Requested: Yes No

(Y/n) loved their apartment building, it had everything they needed low noise, affordable, close enough to the campus, their landlord wasn't creepy and most importantly their boyfriend, Karl, lived in the apartment complex across the street. The only thing that (Y/n) hated was that there wasn't an laundry room in the complex itself but there was one walking distance from the complex. (Y/n) couldn't wait to get a house where they didn't have to bring their laundry to a laundromat next to the best ice cream parlor in town especially during this hot summer. (Y/n) was laying in their bed late morning on their phone when they remembered they needed to go grocery shopping as they were out of cereal and that was basically what they and their roommate lived off of. Groaning (Y/n) pulled their self up off the comfort of their bed and headed to the chest of drawers across from them. Opening the middle door and reaching in to grab some black shorts only to find none of them were clean. (Y/n) bent down to grab a pair off of the floor but knew they worked out yesterday and really shouldn't re wear the sweaty shorts. They pulled on a pair of blue shorts that they couldn't wear to classes tomorrow as they were, well blue. That's when they made the decision to go to laundromat.

"Hey (R/m/n), I'm heading to the laundromat where's your laundry bag?" They shouted down the hall to the other bedroom

"Oh here let me grab it," Their roommate yelled back. Soon enough they were handed their roommates ridiculously bright orange laundry bag which was already super heavy. (Y/n) then went to get their navy blue bag adding to the weight.

"Bring me back a strawberry ice cream cone please," (R/m/n) said handing (Y/n) some cash and six quarters. (Y/n) rolled their eyes but was glad because quiet frankly they also wanted some ice cream. They went to grab their keys and the bottle of detergent and headed to their car. The drive was like 3 minutes and the ice cream parlor filled the parking lot as the early summer sun was beaming down on the little corner shops. They popped their trunk and headed into the laundromat just to be met with the hum of mechanics and the cool air conditioning. There were only a few people in the laundromat but it never was too busy as the other complexes near by had their own laundry machines. (Y/n) found two open machines and got out their quarters popping six into the first machine then emptying all the two bags darks and reds into one machine. Then six more quarters into the second machine adding the lights into the other machine. Adding detergent to both machines and starting them up. The low hum began and that left them an hour to get ice cream then throw the loads into dryers. They grabbed their bottle of detergent and headed to the ice cream parlor.

Karl was holding his grey laundry bag in front of the laundry room door that was locked with the words "OUT OF ORDER" in large red letters.

"At least I did my lights yesterday," he said to the emptiness. He threw his laundry bag over his shoulder glad he actually knew where a laundromat was due to his S/O. He sat in his car searching for some loss change to now avail. Deciding there had to be a ATM by a quarter only laundromat and went to the corner shops. The little hope he had to see his S/O faded when he didn't see their car. Karl pushed the door open and was met with the cool air conditioning. To Karl's luck there was an ATM and next to it was a little machine where he could get a one time thing of detergent. He got his coins and detergent and found an empty washing machine. He threw in his load of darks and stared at the machine watching it start to spin, giggling a little bit finding joy in the simple action. Seeing he had around 40 minutes for his clothes to be done he went back to his apartment working on some twitch things.

(Time Skip)

(Y/n) checked their phone seeing their hour was about up they headed back to the laundromat. The three minute drive felt so tedious as they had only been there an hour prior. Pulling into a random parking spot just trying to be in and out as quickly as possible. Pushing open the door and finding their machines done running and ready for them to switch them over to a dryer. Knowing they'd have to be back again anyway they find the need to stay around but as they were pulling out they could have sworn they saw Karl's car but shook it off knowing his apartment had its own laundry room.

As Karl was pulling into the laundromat's parking lot he noticed a familiar car driving past him but it was so fast he couldn't tell so he brushed it off and went to switch over his clothes from the washer to the dryer and headed home.

(Time Skip)

(Y/n) felt a small wave of relief when they got into their car for their last trip to the laundromat. The sun was still shinning and making the cars leather seats hot and damp. Although today felt way too long, it was only around 2:50pm they had enough time to be productive enough. The went into the laundromat noticing that no one was around. The dryers were done and the doors were unlocked and (Y/n) started separating their clothes from (R/m/n)'s clothes. The little bell atop the door rung but (Y/n) didn't look up until they felt hands on their back.

"I thought I saw your car," their boyfriends giggly voice says causing (Y/n) to turn around excitedly giving Karl a hug.

"You scared me Karl!" They shouted, "Wait why are you here?" they asked realizing that he shouldn't be here for his laundry

"Our laundry machines are broken so I had to come here," he said sliding to the machine next to (Y/n)'s machines to start unloading his laundry. Karl unloaded his things much faster than (Y/n) as he had only his lights while (Y/n) had their and their roommates lights and darks. While separating their socks from (R/m/n)'s socks, (Y/n) felt eyes burning holes into their head. They turned to meet eyes with Karl causing them to giggle,

"What are you looking at Karl?" they asked

"You," he responded as if it was not weird in anyway

"Ok," (Y/n) giggled again and before they knew it Karl was leaning in capturing their lips. It was only a quick kiss but sent sparks through their body anyway. PDA wasn't out of the ordinary for the couple so they went on not really giving it any second thought until the next morning when (Y/n)'s breakfast was interrupted by (R/m/n) slamming down that weeks little local college newspaper.

"Look at this!," (R/m/n) shouted "You made the paper!" (Y/n) looked over and low and behold there was a picture of the laundromat security footage when (Y/n) and Karl had kissed the title reading: "Karl Jacobs and (Y/n) (L/n) share a quick kiss in between loads". (Y/n) sent a quick picture of the paper to Karl who responded that he already sent the picture to his streamer friends who say he's got no game. They were ready from a long day of teasing from (R/m/n).

[thatonerandomfan4]

Madness Combat: Just Bros Being Dudes

AO3 Link:

(Hhh This Took A Long Ass While Lmao)

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Fandom: Madness Combat

Characters: Deimos, Sanford, Hank (Briefly), Jebus (Briefly), Tricky (Briefly)

Platonic Or Romantic?: Romantic Sanmos

Summary: Just A Normal Saturday In Nevada For The Boyfriends, Sanford And Deimos. They Also Share Their First Kiss With The Help Of Hank And Tricky Thanks To A Text Message. Also Deimos Makes A Lot Of Jokes, If You Know Them Then Congrats. :) If Not, That's Ok.

--------------------------------------

The Sound Of The Alarm Clock Went Off At 8:00 AM, Causing Deimos To Wake Up From His Slumber. He Sat Up From The Sleeping Position He Was In And Yawned While Stretching Before Hitting The Snooze Button And Rubbing His Eyes. Looking Over To His Side, He Noticed Sanford Was Absent From His Side Of The Bed. It Was Cold, So He Had Been Probably Gone For A While Now. It Was Done Nicely Compared To The Smaller Man's Side Of The Bed, Which Was Very Messy.

Deimos Knew San Liked To Wake Up An Hour Or Two Earlier Than Him All The Time. He Did That Even If They Weren’t Being Bothered By The L33t / A.A.H.W (Agency Against Hank Wimbleton) Groups Anymore. Deimos Slipped On The Closest Pair Of Slippers He Had By The Bed And Headed Toward The Kitchen. There He Heard Pans Being Set Down On The Stove Or In The Sink To Be Washed Later And Bacon Sizzling In A Pan.

Sanford Was At The Stove Making Breakfast While Whistling One Of Their Favorite Songs. That Favorite Song Happened To Be Poker Face By Lady Gaga, Deimos Would Always Sing And Dance Happily To It While Sanford Watched And Laughed During Their Breaks In Between Missions. Deimos Instantly Smiled At The Sight Of His Boyfriend Being In A Good Mood On A Morning. Everyone Knew Sanford Wasn't Much Of A Morning Person, He Was Only Cheerful When He Knew He Was Going To Have A Good Day.

It Always Was Fun Going On Missions Together And Then Getting To Relax With Each Other Afterwards. They Loved To Chat And Goof Off With Each Other All The Time. The Smaller Man Quietly Shuffled Into The Kitchen Being Careful Not To Distract The Man Cooking And Sat Down In A Chair. Ford Smiled And Flipped The Pancakes In The Pan. San Turned Around To See His Beloved Boyfriend Sitting At The Table.

Sanford, Smug: ��Enjoying The View, Dee?’

Deimos, Jumping In Surprise And Hiding His Face In Embarrassment: “U-Uh What? Yeah, I Like Roses. I Mean What-”

Sanford, Giggling A Bit: “What? Anyway, How Many Pancakes Do You Want?”

Deimos: “Ooo, Can I Have 4?”

Sanford Nods And Turns Around, Walking Back To The Stove To Continue Their Breakfast. Deimos Watched His Boyfriend With Love In His Eyes. Dee Loved Watching His Boyfriend Do Anything; He Even Has A Whole Photo Album Full Of...Just Sanford In Battle Poses, Laying Down, Sitting, Ect..

Sanford Knew About Deimos’s Pictures. He Didn’t Really Mind, It Was Just When They Got Posted Online And Girls Were Coming To The Posts and Simping For The Man In The Bandana. Cut Back To Deimos Looking At Sanford With Love In His Eyes, Dee’s Tablet Vibrated On The Table.

Deimos Quickly Picked It Up, And Saw It Was From Hank. His Panic Died Down A Bit, And He Just Stared At The Notification. Like Sanford, Hank Liked Getting Up Early So He Can Get Things Done. One Of Those Things Would Be Making Sure Tricky Wasn’t Eating All The Food In The Fridge. Tricky Normally Has To Be Fed At Least 8 Times A Day To Ease His Chaotic Nature For A Few Minutes At Most. Then Jebus Has To Look After Him For Safety Reasons.

--------------------------------------------------

Hank: Deimos. Are You Up?

Hank: Deimos? It's 7:04 AM.

Hank: ?

Hank: Deimos??

Hank: Oh Yeah. I Forgot You Like To Sleep In

Hank: You're Probably Going To Wake Up At 8:30 AM, As Always.

Hank: Anyway, I Just Wanted To Say Tricky Misses You Guys. He Keeps Talking About You And He’s Wondering If You 2 Can Come Play With Him Later Today Or Tomorrow.

Hank: He's Happy You Two Are A Couple Now. He Bought A Gift For You Too.

Hank: Well….He Stole It, Then I Had To Pay For The Damage….AND The Gift

Hank: Also, Quick Question….Have You 2 Even Kissed Yet?

--------------------------------------------------

There Was Silence For A Good 3 Seconds Until Deimos Screamed, Startling Sanford. The Tablet Fell On The Table Before Ford Could Even Reach His Boyfriend. The Man In The Bandana Hugged His Boyfriend To Calm Him. Ford Thought It Was Some Fangirl Who Messaged Him And Sent Something Gross As That Happened Very Often. He Took The Tablet To See For Himself, And Snorted When He Saw The Message. He Looked At Deimos Desperately Trying Not To Laugh At What He Saw.

Sanford: “You-” *He Quietly Giggles, Trying Not To Embarrass Deimos On Purpose* “You’re Screaming Because We Haven’t Kissed Yet?”

Deimos: “Well- I- Yo- We- He-”

He Was Immediately Silenced By His Boyfriend’s Lips Making Contact With His. They Stayed Like That For A Few Minutes Before Sanford Pulled Back And Got Back To The Stove. Deimos Just Sat There In Shock, His Face All Hot And Red. That Was Their First Ever Kiss, And Deimos Wanted To Be Involved Too. Just Thinking About It Made Him More Flustered. He Must've Been Spaced Out For A While Because When He Looked Up, Sanford Wasn't There. He Checked His Tablet Again And Saw A Notification: A Text From Hank.

--------------------------------------------------

Hank: Lol. Sanford Told Me You Screamed When I Asked.

Hank: That Probably Was Really Funny In Person

Hank: If Only He Recorded It.

Hank: *[One Attachment Sent]*

{Hank: He Didn’t Answer My Question. Did You Guys Kiss Yet Orrr?

Sanford: Well Yes And No. You Embarrassed Him Lol. It Was So Funny Haha

Sanford: He Screamed When He Saw Your Message, Then I Kissed Him.

Hank: Pfft- Are You Serious?! Wow Lol

Sanford: Yeah Lmao. Made Me Throw A Pancake At The Ceiling. It Was Mine Too :(

Sanford: Good Wasted Pancake :(

Sanford: *[One Attachment Sent]* {Image Description: A Gray Tiled Ceiling With A Medium-Sized Pancake Smacked In Between 4 Tiles.}

Hank: XD}

Deimos: I-

Deimos: YOU!! >:( THAT WAS YOUR FAULT HANK J. WIMBLETON!!

Deimos: YOU MADE HIM WASTE HIS PANCAKE. THAT WAS YOU!!

Deimos: YOU FUDGING BULLY >:(

Deimos: I'LL HECKING FIGHT YOU!!

Hank: XD

Hank: Yeah Right Lol. I'll See You Later

--------------------------------------------------

A Couple Minutes Pass And Sanford Taps Deimos On The Shoulder. Dee Turns Around To See His Boyfriend Fully Dressed. A Pile Of Clothes Was Placed In The Seat Next To The Shorter Man. Deimos Could Only Assume It Was His Clothing, As Hank Did Invite Them Over To See Tricky. The Smoker Popped A Cigarette In His Mouth And Left To Get Dressed. Once He Got Back, He Put His Cigarette In The Ashtray And Got Sanford Greeted With A Kiss. Well 2, One On The Forehead And One On The Mouth.

Deimos: “You Know, You Could’ve Waited Till I Was Ready For The Kiss.”

Sanford: “Why? It Would’ve Been A Year Or Two If You Said You Were Ready. That’s Basically How Our Relationship Started. Everyone Knows That, Ev-EVEN TRICKY KNOWS!”

Deimos’s Face Just Heated Up, He Knew That Was True And Couldn't Argue. After That Chat, Sanford And Deimos Got In Their Car And Headed To The Base. Deimos Was Messaging Hank During The Entire Ride. Hank Was Teasing Deimos A Lot About The Kiss, And How Deimos Reacted When It Was First Brought Up. Deimos Yelled-Texted At Hank Again, Causing The Man In The Red Goggles To Laugh Again. Dee Put His Tablet Away Once They Got To The Base. Of Course, None Other Than Hank Himself Was There To Greet Them And Welcome Them Back In.

They Passed The Savior, Jebus, Who Was Reading A Book, Supposedly A Bible Or Something He Could Find Lying Around. He Was Sitting At A Table With Red Wine In A Fancy Glass And Biscuits On A Plate. Deimos Wondered If Hank Told Him About It, Since He Received A Teasing Look. Sanford Just Thought Nothing Of It, And Wanted To See If Tricky Had Actually Changed Since Their Last Encounter With Him.

Once They Approached Tricky's Room, Or Area (Whatever You Would Call It), They Saw Signs Like 'Caution: Beware The Clown', And 'Do Not Enter Unless You Are Hank'. They Were Also Greeted By The Sound Of Someone Eating Something Viciously.

Looking From The Glass Window On The Wall, They Saw The Clown Filling His Face With All Different Kinds Of Food. He Stopped To Grab A Drink, But Got Distracted By Seeing Hank With Sanford And Deimos. Tricky Immediately Ran To The Glass And Smacked His Face Against It, Causing Ford And Dee To Jump Back.

Tricky Smiled In Delight After Seeing Deimos And Sanford For The First Time In A Long While. He Waved Through The Glass, Then Rushed To The Speaker. The Faint Sound Of Someone Yelling 'HAAANNK!' And 'VALID. FRIENDS' Could Be Heard Through The Speaker. The Door Suddenly Opened Slowly, The Smell Of All Kinds Of Foods Plus Blood Pouring Out Of The Opening And The Cracks. The Clown Immediately Jumped Out Of The Room, Startling The Trio.

Tricky: "SANFORD! HANK! DEIMOS! FRIENDS! VALID. YES."

Hank Actually Smiled Upon Tricky's Entrance, He Patted The Clown's Head Twice And Let The Other 2 Do The Same Thing After. They Talked About Everything That Happened, And Caught Up With Each Other. Jebus Entered The Room Half Way Through The Conversation And Joined In. They Chatted For Hours, Tricky Was The One To Point Out The Time To Everyone. Sanford Said That He And Deimos Had To Leave, As It Was Late (11:12 PM).

They Said Their Goodbyes Before Ford And Dee Headed Out. They Stayed Silent In The Car, Just Thinking About How Much The Others Have Changed. Tricky, Who Has Become More Friendly And Takes Baths. Hank, Who Is More Calm And 'Married To A Blender'. And Jebus, Who Has More Control And Is Starting To Learn Dad Jokes.

Deimos: "I Had Fun Chatting With Them After A While. I Just Wish Candice Was There With Us, I Miss Her."

Sanford: "...We Didn't Know A Candice."

Deimos, Grinning: "I Know Candice. I've Known Her For A While Now."

Sanford, Not Falling For It: "Good For You. Is She Nice?"

Deimos: "....Y-Yeah…...Although Her House Really Smells Like Updog. It's A Problem."

Sanford: "......Really?"

Deimos, Pushing The Joke: "Yes, Especially The Kitchen. It Really Reeks Of Updog. It's Disgusting, Bleck"

Sanford, Sighing And Smiling: "What Is Updog?"

Deimos, Giggling Like A Child: "Nahat Much Wh-"

Deimos Couldn't Finish His Sentence Because He Was Laughing. Sanford Just Snorted And Smiled, He Always Knew How He Could Get His Boyfriend Lost In Laughter. Even If A Joke Wasn't Really That Funny, Deimos Could Be Laughing For An Hour. He Absolutely Loves Jokes Of All Kinds And It Doesn't Matter Who Tells Them. By The Time They Arrived Home, Deimos Was Still Slightly Giggling And Wiping A Tear From His Eye.

Sanford Carried Deimos Into The House, As The Man In The Visor Finished His Giggling Fit. Ford Set His Boyfriend Onto The Couch And Started Getting Ready For Bed. He Left Dee Some Comfy Clothes To Slip Into For Bed. About A Couple Minutes Later They Both Were On The Couch In Pajamas (Or Just Clothes They Never Wear To Work).

Deimos: "Why Weren’t You Laughing At The Joke, Sanford?"

Sanford: "The Joke Wasn't That Funny, Deimos. You've Heard It Over One Hundred Times Already."

Deimos, Giggling Again: "But..It's Funny."

Sanford, Trying Not To Smile: "It-It's Really Not."

Deimos, Now Full On Laughing: "I- It Was Funny When Hank Fell For The Candice Joke." *He Smacked His Side While He Laughed* "It Hurt Like Hell, But It Was Worth It!"

Sanford, Smiling But Trying Hard Not To Laugh: "Oh Right I Forgot About That."

Sanford Then Let Deimos Cuddle Against Him As He Laughed Again. He Only Laughed Harder When Sanford Yelled, 'It's Not That Funny!'. Eventually, Ford Was Laughing As Well With His Boyfriend. They Laughed Until They Eventually Fell Asleep. Today Was A Good Day For Both Of Them, And They Were Happy They Could Spend It Together, Like Old Times.

[katefiction]

Hey everyone, when I finished writing Will and Kate nearly 7 years ago now, I felt like there really wasn't anything else I could say about them. And that's still true to an extent. A gave me the request/idea of writing something based on folklore/evermore and I love those albums as much as everyone else. They are incredibly inspiring and made me want to write. But I still didn't know how to make those into a William and Kate story. Until I realised that they didn't have to just be a William and Kate story. For that reason, I've written this without names. When writing it, I was thinking of them some of the time, and fictional characters some of the time. I wasn't going to tell you that because I didn't want people to not read it because of that. In the end I decided to be honest. You can use William and Kate as the characters, but equally you don't have to.

This story imagines what would happen if this couple had been apart for a few years and reunite for a weekend. It's based on 'tis the damn season. I really hope you enjoy and would love to know what you think.

Love, Maria x

Chapter 1 : You can call me babe for the weekend

In a small cottage covered in ivy, she stood in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil. Her hand twitched on the counter as she tried to resist the urge to look at her phone again.

Two days previously, she received a text that had made her heart lurch.

I’m in the area in a couple of days, can I come and see you?, it had said. Short and straight to the point. He hadn’t changed in that regard at least.

She had taken a few hours to reply. Of course she wanted to see him - partly out of sheer curiosity. But it had been three years since they’d last seen each other. And the decision to end things hadn’t been easy.

Eventually, after a few hours deliberation, she had replied with the address of the place that had become her sanctuary. And now she waited.

She poured the boiled water into a mug, added a tea bag and cupped her hands around it. She looked over to the old grandfather clock in the corner of the living room. In half an hour he would be here and she still hadn’t decided what to say to him. Or how to act. Instead of thinking about that, she had busied herself with cleaning the cottage top to bottom until there was not a speck of dirt left to wipe away.

She took her tea upstairs, each step creaking as she went. In her bedroom, she opened her wardrobe. Sitting down on the bed, she stared at the rows of clothes hanging up waiting to be chosen. None of them seemed to convey what she wanted to say.

I’m fine without you.

I still want you to find me pretty.

I don’t care what you think.

No piece of clothing could express that ridiculous combination of feelings. She got up and sighed, looking out of the window. It was 7.45pm now and already dark. The trees outside her cottage swung in the wind, the branches tapping against the window.

Going back to the wardrobe, she closed her eyes and ran her hand along the row of her clothes and pulled one out at random. It was a deep maroon knitted jumper dress.

‘That’ll do’ she said out loud.

Earlier in the day she had decided that she wouldn’t wear any make up. Why should she? But now, looking in the mirror, her face seemed tired and lifeless.

She grabbed some eyeliner out of the drawer and applied a wing onto her eyelids. A curl and a dab of vaseline on her eyelashes, and tint on cheeks and lips made her feel slightly more presentable.

She glanced over at the clock on her bedside table. 7.56pm. He wasn’t usually late. She took her mug downstairs and placed it in the sink, considering washing it to pass the time.

It was then she saw the headlights trail through the kitchen window. Taking a deep breath, she paced the kitchen listening to the sound of the engine switching off and the car door opening and closing. The crunch of his footsteps on the gravel path came closer until finally there was a soft tap at her front door.

*

He was the same as she’d always known him. Strong arms with the sleeves rolled up, piercing eyes that saw right through her.

‘Can I come in?’ he said. She suddenly realised that she hadn’t heard his voice in three years. She hadn't thought she’d missed it until right then.

‘Oh, yeah, come through’ she said, stepping aside.

He had to bend slightly to fit under the doorway. ‘Made for short people’, he said as he closed the door behind him.

‘It’s good to see you’ he said, those eyes surveying her.

‘You too’ she said. ‘Do you want a drink?’.

‘Sure’ he followed her to the kitchen, looking around at the tiny ground floor. A fire crackled under the living room mantlepiece, and cushions and throws were scattered around. ‘Lovely place, very you’.

She grabbed some white wine from the fridge without asking him what he wanted and poured out two glasses.

He took it gratefully and they sipped in an awkward silence. The grandfather clock ticked loudly and he walked over to look at it. Presumably just as something to do.

She followed him into the living room and sat down on the couch, her knees tucked under her. She moved a few cushions around to make space for him, placing one on her lap for comfort. He sat on the other side of it, sinking into it.

‘So why did you text me?’ she said, stroking the stem of her glass, faking nonchalance.

‘I told you, I was in the area’.

‘This isn’t really an area people come to visit’. She looked out of the living room window behind them. Although it was dark, he knew what she was referring to. She lived in a small village technically, but her cottage lay in a secluded area surrounded by woodland.

She had moved here three years ago as an escape and she loved it. It was just cut off enough to be peaceful, but not so far that she didn’t have people to turn to when she needed them.

‘Ok, the surrounding area’ he smiled. ‘The truth is I’ve been thinking about you recently’.

‘I’m sure you have much more interesting things to think about’ she said, looking into her glass to avoid eye contact.

‘Anyway...how have you been?’ he said, changing tack.

‘We don't have to do that’, it pained her to have small talk with him when they used to sit in such comfortable silence.

‘Do what?’ he looked genuinely confused and it occurred to her that maybe he couldn’t read her so easily any more.

‘The small talk thing, you can just tell me why you’re here’.

‘Ok’ he pulled in his lips like he always did when he was thinking about what to say, ‘well, the truth is I was coming to this side of the country for work and I wanted to see you’.

She smiled for the first time that night, ‘this side of the country?’

‘Yes, well I realise I might have come a bit out of my way’.

They paused and looked at each other. Their old dynamic started to shift back into place. The light teasing, the subtle looks.

‘Anyway’ he continued. ‘I guess I just wanted to see if you were ok. I never liked how things ended, you know that’.

Their break up was business-like. When she decided it was over, there were no more tears and arguments. Just a simple acceptance. She had packed her bags, wished him well out of courtesy and built a wall so high that not even he could break it. It had frustrated him to the point of madness. She refused to hug him goodbye. She didn’t even tell him she was moving away.

‘It’s what I needed to do’, she said, holding the cushion closer to her.

‘And now?’ he said, hope etched on his face.

‘Now...nothing. We’ve moved on. There’s no point in reliving it’

‘Have you...moved on with someone?’ he asked.

‘I didn’t mean it like that’ she got up and poured more wine into her glass even though it wasn’t empty.

‘Would you hate me if I said I was happy about that? I was dreading you telling me you had found someone’.

Her heart skipped, realising he was right behind her. She didn’t turn, not wanting his eyes on her.

‘I could never hate you’ she said quietly.

‘I’m not with anyone either, I broke up someone a few months ago, she was -’

‘If I wanted to know who you were hanging out with, I would’ve asked’, she said, breaking him off. When she was uncomfortable, she became curt. He knew that, and he would always challenge her on it by refusing to take offence.

She felt him come closer to her, ‘I’ve missed you’.

It was the words she’d dreaded. ‘Don’t say that’, she replied, tightening the cap on the wine bottle as hard as she could.

‘Why not, it’s the truth’, he placed his glass on the counter. Clearly he was done with the niceties.

‘If you’ve come here to try and mess with my head, don’t bother’, she moved past him and put the wine bottle back in the fridge.

‘Why on earth would I do that?’ he said, trying not to fall for her favoured method of pushing him away.

‘I don’t know, you said you’d broken up with someone, maybe you’re lonely’.

‘I told you, I miss you and wanted to see you. If I was lonely, I could go elsewhere’.

She couldn't help but laugh at his arrogance.

He ran his hand through his hair, ‘how has this turned into an argument?’.

‘We’re not having an argument’, she said plainly.

‘Yes we are, and stop pretending that you don’t care’.

So he could still see through her after all.

The wind was picking up now, battering the branches harder against the cottage. They both knew there was nothing more to say. That they’d just go around in circles if they continued to talk. And she wouldn’t give him an inch.

Instead, they did what they knew they would as soon as he sent that text. What she knew would happen as she applied the colour to her lips earlier.

He reached out and pulled her in by the waist and she clutched at the fabric of his shirt at his stomach. When their lips met, she felt it all over her body. The ache of the last three years passing between them.

*

They lay tangled together in bed staring at the ceiling.

‘Are you ok?’ he said.

‘Yeah’, she turned to look at him. ‘Are you?’

‘Very much so’ he laughed softly, ‘I’ve missed you’.

‘You’ve said that already’, she teased.

‘I thought you might believe it this time’, he placed his hand over hers on the bed covers.

‘This can’t be, you know, a thing again’ she said carefully.

‘I know’, he said. ‘Not much has changed in my life, I didn’t expect to come here and take you home’.

‘Do you ever wonder why we never could make it work?’ she asked him, letting him play with her fingers.

‘Yes...and no. I knew you didn’t want the life I had to offer but I couldn't let you go. If I had stopped it earlier on, it would’ve saved us a lot of hassle’, he looked at the ceiling again as he remembered the two years they had together.

They had been happy, when it was just them. But it would never be just them and they both knew it. He was relentless in finding new ways to keep her close until he couldn’t anymore. Time alone became harder to find and the longer they went on believing they could be a normal couple, the less realistic it became. Eventually, after two months apart, she put an end to it. And she ran as far as she could. She knew he would try to maintain contact so she cut herself off from everyone they knew and stopped taking his calls. It had worked, for three years at least.

‘Do you want me to go?’ he asked, knowing that she would ask him to at some point.

She turned and rested her head on his shoulder, ‘not if you don’t want to’.

‘You know I don’t want to’, he placed his arm above her head and ran his fingers through her hair.

‘Stay...for a day or so if you want to’ she kissed him on the shoulder.

‘I can stay for the weekend’ he said.

She closed her eyes, knowing this would only end in heartache. ‘Then I’ll be yours for the weekend’.

*

The weekend was spent basked in the kind of peace they’d never find in the city. They took long walks around the woods, hand in hand. She pointed out the plants and wildlife and he soaked up every word.

In the afternoon, they just drove around the winding lanes, the mud covering his tyres. Sometimes they would talk, but never about the past, reluctant to let it in. At other times they’d drive in silence, her hand on his knee. Soon enough they’d get back to the cottage, restraining themselves until they shut the cottage door.

Inevitably, they’d end up warm and content under the covers, watching the autumn leaves flutter past her bedroom window and sleeping for the rest of the day.

Afterwards, they’d cook together and drink wine on the rug in front of the fire, her legs laying on top of his, talking about everything and nothing.

But time couldn’t stop for them and as she sat in bed watching him button up his shirt, that ache filled her again. It was an ache he too had in him, put there by her.

‘Am I going to see you again?’ he asked as he tucked in his shirt.

She put on a smile even though she knew he would sense it was a fake one, ‘maybe one day...just promise me something?’

He looked at her wrapped in the covers wanting nothing more to climb back into that warm bed.

‘Don’t wait for me’ she continued.

He bowed his head, looking at the floor, clearing his throat, ‘then don’t ask me to stay’.

She nodded silently.

He knelt on the bed and kissed her on the forehead, taking in the smell of her one last time.

‘I’ll see you out’ she said, running her hand over his forearm.

‘No stay here. It’s better like this’. He got up and opened the bedroom door, taking one last glance at her.

Somehow he knew, whatever road he went down, it would always lead back to her.

The end.

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

I can't believe it.

This is episode based, the Hank Abraham case- which i touched on as lightly as possible but its there, so there is fair warning.

Warnings: Usual Svu, SVU based & Hank Abraham case.

The air was thick with tension, no one was game to say anything at risk of adding more fuel to the fire or saying something wrong. Sonny, Amanda and you felt like you had done something wrong, when in reality you done your job and caught a bad man, you guys couldn't help who it was.

Rafael wasn't himself when he found out the news. You guys hadn't spent much time together since the case came in, he had been working late, you asleep when he got home and gone by the time you woke. He was getting pressure from the DA to sort this out and get it out of the way as quickly as possible. It had to come first till it was all over with.

Pippa Cox walked out of Liv's office after watching one of Hank’s interviews with Rafael and Ed Tucker, she looked into your eyes with such hate and hurt, and you looked down holding back tears with red cheeks. You guys had walked into her and Hanks apartment at two in the morning and turned her and her kid’s lives inside out. Of course she hated you for it. You got up from your desk and pretty much ran to the on call room and shut the door behind you letting the tears fall.

Amanda had seen the look you were given and how you reacted, you didn't know she had followed you.

The door opened and you were sitting on a bed. She walked over and sat next to you putting her arm around your shoulders.

"It's a tough one"

"You’re telling me, I just hate feeling like we done something wrong, you know"

"Yeah I know, but we didn't. We caught the bad guy"

"We tore his family apart"

"Yeah, but he was doing bad things, you wouldn't want to be married to someone like that would you?" You shook your head

----

Friday afternoon came at a snail’s pace. You had a few messages here and there from Rafael over the week, and one late night conversation, he felt like a stranger. He told you he didn't want you to feel that he was taking it out on you, but he has having trouble processing everything that was going on, which you could tell from his sad watery eyes during that conversation. So you left him to it and stayed out of the way.

Sonny had gone to court with Liv on Friday for the ruling, he wanted you to go too, but you wanted to stay back and finish off paper work and just go home. You finished early and signed out when Amanda did. You got a cab a block away from the apartment and picked up two bottles of wine then walked the rest of the way home.

You hadn't heard from Rafael so you decided to give it a couple of hours before you would order in. Sonny messaged you with outcome and you weren't sure how Rafael would be when he got home. You showered and washed you hair and put on some cotton shorts and a t-shirt and opened the wine.

You pretty much sculled down the first bottle. You were on your last glass from that bottle staring out the window when you heard the keys in the door. Rafael walked in like a zombie and went straight to the bathroom not even saying hello and you heard the shower running.

You stood at the island and opened the second bottle of wine and filled your glass up, picked up your phone and ordered his favourite Thai dish from a place down the street. You poured him a drink just how he liked it and sat it at the end of the island so he could see it when he walked out of the bathroom.

He came out in a pair of cotton track pants and a white t shirt, walked straight to the drink and drunk it in one go, he walked over to you, turned you to face him and wrapped his arms around your waist and hide his face in your neck.

"Just hold me, don't let me go ok" You nodded and kissed him on top of the head.

Not much was said for the rest of the night, dinner came and you ate in silence, Rafael having a couple more drinks after dinner. After you cleaned up and sat on the couch, Rafael joined you and laid his head on your lap and you ran your fingers threw his hair.

Next minute you heard him lightly snoring, you wiggled out from under him laying is head slowly down and covered him with a blanket and went to bed. You wanted nothing but to pull him to bed with you, but he was completely drained and slightly drunk, so best to just leave him there.

****

The light was streaming in from the window through your eyes lids, you slowly rolled onto your back and was surprised when you seen Rafael laying there looking up at the ceiling.

"Morning Rafi, are you ok?" You lent over and kissed him on the cheek. He didn't answer straight away. He was frowning and his jaw was clenched.

"I can't believe it you know-why he would risk everything over doing something like that. He had everything. An amazing job, a wife, two healthy happy children and he did that knowing if he was caught what would happen" he shook his head.

"No one will ever be able to answer that Rafi, not even him. He was fighting demons no one knew about and they won. I feel sorry for Pippa. Being married to him for so long and having his children, for him to be doing that behind her back. But I can't help but think it was our fault."

He turned his head and looked at you, you looked down

"Why would you think that?"

"Well if we had left when Liv told us too, he wouldn't have got caught and their lives would have gone on like they always had. All week Sonny, Amanda and I have been blaming ourselves. But we were just doing our job. But we tore his family apart-and I couldn't help but think you were mad, at us, at me starting this shit storm"

He rolled over and faced you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Look at me Hermosa" you didn't "Hermosa" you huffed and looked up to meet his gaze.

"I don't want you to ever think that ever again. He would have got caught. You done your job, and a good job at that. I'm sorry for the distances, I just couldn't get it to sink in. It triggered so much for me and I didn't know how to process it. Not that my father did anything like that, but he had an amazing wife and me, and it still wasn't enough, his actions caused him to lose us. I don't understand why what they have isn't enough."

"It’s life Rafi, some people it’s just their makeup, how they are made, they don't care if they lose what they have, no matter how good it is. If we weren't in the job we're in, none of this would matter as much as it does, it would just be another story on the news. But we see it first hand, we have a different point of view than most people. I just hope-never mind"

"No say it"

"I just hope I'll always be enough for you Rafi" his whole face softened and he lent down and kissed you lightly on the lips.

"Hermosa, you always have been and always will be enough, I love you."

****

 "Tio Raf, you promised so long ago" Zara pouted over the video call.

"I know mi Amor, but Tia and I have been really busy with work"

"Sweetie, as soon as Aunty Liv and Tio Raf's boss give us some time off we will be out to see you"

"I can call Aunty Liv and talk to her" you, Rafael and Nick started laughing

"It's ok sweetie thank you, but I can handle her"

****

"Ladies and Gentleman this is your caption speaking, we have arrived at LAX airport, local time 7 am, enjoy your stay in Los Angeles California"

The sun was shining down and you could smell the salt in the air, you hadn't been this relaxed in a very long time. You and Rafael were standing on Santa Monica pier waiting for Nick and Zara to come.

You both finally got some time off and worked with Nick on a week he had Zara over summer break. You guys all decided to keep it as a surprise for her. Although Rafael would have preferred a beach somewhere, you both naked most of the time, he was looking forward to some time away and some time with Zara. Nick only had a 1 bedroom apartment, so you guys were staying in a hotel. Rafael preferred it that way anyway, because he knew at the end of the day he could get you alone.

"You excited Hermosa?" Rafael was leaning on the rail looking very handsome in jeans and a casual button down, your arms wrapped around his middle and your chin on his shoulder

"Very much so. You?" He nodded and kissed you on the cheek.

"Hey Sweetie, I have a surprise for you"

"What is it Daddy?" Zara looked up at Nick

"Have a look around first to see if you notice anything"

Nick had sent you a message saying they were walking towards the pier, so you both started to make your way toward the entrance. You could see Zara scanning the crowd, and then her eyes met yours and she smiled and screamed.

"TIA" she ran towards you and knelt down a bit so you could pick her up as she got to you. Zara wrapped her arms around your neck and you picked her up.

"Hey my sweetie, surprise. I've missed you so much"

"Tia you made it. I've missed you"

You gave her a kiss in the cheek and placed her back on the ground when she wrapped her arms around your waist.

"Hey mi Amor"

"TIO RAF"

She pulled away from you and jumped on to Rafael, him picking her up. That finally gave you a chance to say hello to Nick. You wrapped your arms around his neck and his around your middle, he lifted you slightly off the ground.

"I've missed you so much Y/N"

"Me too Nick"

He put you down and pulled away, kissing you on top of your head resting his arm around your shoulders.

The week had been amazing, you guys had done so much with Nick and Zara. Zara was going back to Maria that night, and it was your last day tomorrow, you guys had a midnight flight. Nick was going to take you both out for dinner and then drive you to the airport.

"So the last case was a tough one hey" Nick took a sip of his beer.

"You could say that" Rafael frown "You’re lucky you missed out on all the fun" he rolled his eyes.

"It was horrible" you took a sip of your wine "that's really the first time I questioned myself at my job"

"Why would you do that?" Nick grabbed your arm and gave it a light squeeze "Your amazing at what you do, you couldn't help who it was. I was shocked when you told me"

"Anyway let's talk about something else, you look happy Nick, and so does Zara" you smiled at him.

"She is, I’ am. I' am missing a couple of things, well people, but it was worth the move for the most part, especially when the people I miss most come to visit"

"You don't miss me Amaro" Rafael smirked at him

"Well no, but you guys are a package deal" Nick winked at you.

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.7k

Warnings: swearing, angst, drunk, motion of death

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 2 Part 4

Part 3

In less than ten minutes, we had pulled up to Liam's house. Liam paid for the taxi too. I kind of argued this time, but he pointed out he asked me to his house. I didn't get too stubborn about it.

Liam was living in a four-story terrace house, recently renovated by the looks of it. It was painted white with black wrought iron lacework, and it was beautiful. The front door and windows were painted black. It appeared to be the twin of the house that shared its wall.

We entered through the dining room, and I realised it was actually the two houses renovated together. The inside was modern with original heritage touches. The floors were light timber, and the walls were white. The ceilings had plaster and cornice so beautifully ornate that restoration must have taken ages. The room had an imposing black marble fireplace and a deep brown, almost black wooden dining table set on a grey shag rug in the room's centre. A huge abstract painting of bright pinks, greens and grey hung on the wall.

"Wow, this must have cost a mint!" I quickly covered my mouth. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."

"It's ok. I was pleasantly surprised by the house too. The studio got the house for me I...." Liam was interrupted by a massive dog bounding into the room.

Liam got down and roughhoused with the dog for a bit. Wow, he was a monster! I'd seen a picture of Cole before that "Will" had sent me, but I wasn't quite prepared for how big he was. He was almost completely black with some brown above his eyes and ears. His paws were brown too, and his belly was grey. He wasn't any particular breed, apparently a rescue dog. I thought of my bull terrier cross cattle dog at home. This dog would eat him for breakfast, and Perrin wasn't small.

Cole's pink tongue lolled, and he panted as Liam moved from side to side. Cole imitated Liam's actions jumping about. He barked a couple of times as he got excited by the play. The noise reverberated through the quiet house.

"Shhh, Cole, people are sleeping." Liam softly admonished. Then his voice became stern. "Sit," he ordered before patting him. Liam looked at me and said, "Lana, this is Cole. Cole, Lana."

"Hi, Cole. You're much bigger in person." I could hear the slight tremor in my voice. Liam must have sensed I was nervous and came over to stand near me. Cole padded over and sniffed at me. Gingerly, I put my hand by my side and let him approach me. Cole nuzzled my hand, and I gave him a pat on the side of his neck. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I was worried he wouldn't like me. I love dogs but always get nervous around new ones." Liam put his head to the side, asking a silent question. "I had a dingo go me one time, and I've never really gotten over it." I squatted down and gave Cole more pats. "I think this guy is ok, though."

"Yeah, he's a good boy. How is Perrin, by the way?"

"He's ok." I sighed, "he's just old. The poor little guy can't get onto my bed anymore and sleeps in my lounge room now. I kinda miss it, but I have slept a bit better."

Liam gave Cole some more pats and told him to go sit. "Come on. I'll make you a tea or coffee if you'd like." I agreed a coffee would be perfect right now. I needed something to sober me up.

I sat at the kitchen bench while Liam made coffees. Cole sat by my stool, and I patted his head while watching Liam. Liam had kicked off his shoes and was walking around in his bare feet. It was amazing to see him so much more relaxed here than while we were out. He really did appear to enjoy being at home.

As Liam made our coffee, he moved with a grace that surprised me. His movements seemed economical and rigid but hinted at the power beneath them. He seemed coiled and ready to explode at any moment. It was like he was dancing the pasodoble, his body moving to an invisible beat. Images of Strictly Ballroom came into my mind, and I found myself humming Love is in the Air. I was drunker than I thought.

When Liam was done, he led me over to his large L shaped lounge, and I sat. Liam flopped down next to me, casually laying back and popped his feet up on the coffee table. Cole sat on a mat that was clearly his.

I sipped my coffee, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly the quiet between Liam and I felt awkward.

Liam and I spoke at the same time, "What.." "So..."

We both laughed. Liam indicated I should proceed. "Well, I was going to ask what brought you out to Sydney, for real, not the Will answer."

"A new project. I'm going to be filming a television show." Liam proceeded to tell me about his project, working with some people from Netflix on a fantasy/sci-fi series adaptation. He was so animated when telling me that it was obvious that he loved his job.

It would be his first television series and was to be more romance heavy than anything he had done in years. Liam explained that he is filming here because the story was written and developed in Australia. "If it works out, I'll probably be based out of Australia for the next few years. I'll go home to England for a few months during breaks, maybe do some small film roles. It's hard with Cole, though, because every trip into Australia means 10 days quarantine for him."

"Oh yeah, and you don't want a Pistol and Boo situation." Liam looked confused, and I explained about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp smuggling their dogs into Australia.

"I thought you said you don't follow celebrity gossip."

"I don't, but that was big news, hilarious really. It was on every bit of media in Australia, and then they had to make this cringe video apology. I almost felt bad for them." Then I yawned, suddenly all the alcohol had lost its buzz, and I was just tired. "The coffee doesn't seem to be doing its job. What time is it?"

Liam looked at his watch, "11.30."

"Yeah, it's late. I should get home. I don't want to turn into a pumpkin." I cringed. Fuck.

"You don't have to go. You could stay here." I raised my eyebrows. "I do have more than one bed if that's what you want." Liam leaned over to me and placed a hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against my skin.

I looked at my nearly empty coffee mug. I swirled the dregs around the bottom as if it were tea leaves, and they would tell me what to do. "I don't want to go home yet, but I don't want to go too fast, either."

"That's ok."

I didn't move. I wanted to stay. Ten years ago, I would have stayed, but Andy's face flashed into my thoughts. I knew it was ridiculous. Andy had been gone for over three years now. But every time I even contemplated being with someone, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Liam was waiting for an answer, but I didn't know what to tell him. 'It's not you, it's me' is such a tired cliche, but sometimes it's true.

"Lana, it's ok. If you want to go home, that's absolutely fine. I'll even call you an Uber."

I felt my eyes sting, and I looked away from Liam. My bloody traitorous tear ducts giving me away. I shouldn't have drunk so much. Alcohol always makes me emotional.

"Fuck." I swore under my breath. I angrily wiped at my eyes, thankful I had used waterproof mascara. My eyeliner was a different story, though, and black streaked my fingers. I asked Liam where his bathroom was, and I got up, only half listening to his directions. I found it quickly. It was only through the doorway into a little enclave with a powder room, stairs and a lift. What kind of bloody house has a lift?

I closed the door and sat on the toilet seat. I knew enough not to try to stop the tears, so I just let them go. Bloody hell, Andy. Why did he fucking have to leave me? Why the fuck did you have to fucking die. Goddammit. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I do this to Andy? I wanted to scream, to punch something, to throw something. I needed another cigarette. Fuck you, Andy. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck Liam.

As I always did when I thought of Andy, I remembered the last time I saw him. His sweet face looked down at me as he kissed me goodbye. His deep brown hair fell like a curtain around us, hiding our kiss from the world. Cheekily I had slipped my tongue into his mouth, and he had groaned as he pulled away. He told me to save it for when he got back and would be as quick as he could be. I had thanked him for filling in for me. He winked and said to thank him later. Then he left.

When I was able to, I started to take deep breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth. I could feel the tightness in my chest slowly ease. Breathing became more comfortable, and the tears stopped. I looked at my hands, and I was able to release the fists I was making. My nails hadn't broken the skin this time, but small red crescents remained etched into my palms.

I waited a few minutes longer to make sure the moment had passed. It wasn't Andy's fault he died, and I knew that. It's also not my fault that I wanted someone to love again. Sleeping with someone other than Andy felt like crossing the Rubicon, no going back.

The fact was there is no going back, no Andy to go back to, even if I wanted. In my head, it still felt like a betrayal. But it wasn't. And Liam wasn't just anybody. He was a guy I had spent weeks talking to, getting to know, and although he looks different, he is still acting as I had expected. I saw a potential future here. Did I really want to let my past ruin it?

I cleared my throat and stood up, preparing myself to see the horror that looked back at me. Ugh, it wasn't great. My eyeliner had given me panda eyes, and the tears had created streaks down my cheeks.

Getting a tissue and blew my nose, and decided there was nothing else for it, I washed my makeup off my face. I avoided washing my eye makeup off though, that was a mess I just didn't have the products for, so I just wiped under my eyes and cleaned it up. I binned my tissues, washed my hands, took a few more deep breaths and prepared myself to face Liam.

I opened the door and walked straight into something solid that made me bounce back into the bathroom like a tennis ball. Hands caught me before I hit the floor, and I found myself in Liam's arms.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" He asked.

"No," I was flustered again. I spent all that time calming down to just be in a state two seconds later. "I just didn't expect you to be outside the door. Jesus, you're like a brick shit house."

Liam didn't laugh. "I was worried about you."

"I'm fine," I lied.

Liam didn't look convinced. He let me go and ran a hand through his hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now."

Liam nodded. "I'll get you that Uber." He pulled his phone out.

That's it then. All in all, it wasn't the worst date I'd been on since Andy died. Actually, it was probably the best. Liam, at least, was a guy I was attracted to and didn't appear to be a man child. He seemed to like me, even when I cried over another man. Although I doubt Liam knew that's why I was crying. I had told him I was married before and he had died, but that was only once and a long time ago, and we hadn't discussed it again.

The tears had done their job, and a calmness came over me now. I had said goodbye to Andy, and I was ready to take that last step to move on. That was why I started to date again; to open my heart, I was ready.

I put my hand on Liam's wrist, "if you still want me to, I'd like to stay."

"Are you sure? I probably shouldn't have asked in the first place. I let my other head think for me." Though I laughed at his candid admission, Liam's face was serious. "I'm not joking. I want you, and I didn't think about how you must be feeling. The whole fake profile thing must still be weighing on your mind. And all of the other problems that go along with being with me. You should have more time to think about it."

And my dead husband, let's not forget that. I didn't say that out loud, thank God. "I will have time to think about it. But right now, I want..." Shit. I've gone shy again. Just fucking tell him you want him too! "I mean, can't we just have a bit of a cuddle and a snog?"

Liam's lips twitched as he tried to suppress a smile, "a cuddle and a snog?"

I nodded.

Smiling, Liam put his phone back in his pocket. "I think I can arrange that."

Without further warning, Liam grabbed my wrists in one hand and pinned them to the wall above my head. His other hand snaked around my waist, holding me to him, his hips rolling into mine. His eyes were fierce and focused on mine. I  closed my eyes, the sensations too much, and my breath quickened.

I heard Liam say through gritted teeth, "It's taken everything I had not to do this to you since I saw you at the bar. I wanted to take you then and there." His voice seemed to ease, the words coming easier for him. "You don't know how much I've wanted to touch you. To know you are real." Then he whispered, "and you are. Real. You're as beautiful tonight as you were in your pictures."

I opened my eyes and found Liam staring at me, and his intensity was nearly frightening. He pulled me tighter against himself, his fingertips digging into me while he crushed me against his body. I felt his hardness against my hip, and I couldn't stop myself from rubbing against it. This time Liam closed his eyes, and I felt the rush of blood to my centre.

Liam opened his eyes, desire naked on his face, "Kiss me," he said.

I met his soft and warm lips. I felt Liam's groan rumble in his vast chest, and kissing him again, my lips scraped against his whiskers. Liam kissed me back now. His tongue pushed past my lips, and found mine. His tongue playfully danced in my mouth. Liam's hand left my arse and started to feel my hips, my waist and then my breasts. He cupped them and gently squeezed. My breath caught as his hand skimmed past my nipple. His palm created friction against the lace of my bra, and tingles radiated through my body.

His lips left mine and went to my neck. He kissed and sucked at me, moving down to the top of my breasts. I heard him take a deep breath into my chest as his cheeks rubbed against my skin. His kisses became harder against my chest and moved back up to my neck, his teeth nipping at me as he went. Even though he had me captured, I wriggled against him, my hips moved uncontrollably, my breath uneven and weak.

Liam pulled away, still firmly gripping one of my hands. "Come with me." Liam led me to the lift.

"Where are we going?"

"To my bedroom." I pulled against him, forcing him to stop. "Sweetheart, I promise I won't fuck you until you ask."

My legs turned to jelly. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg despite my reservations. I nodded and followed Liam into the lift.

Part 4

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 9/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Sorry for taking so long to upload! I've had a hard week but everything is fine. Here we are - the end! Wanna know something interesting? There was actually going to be more to this story. Like, we were gonna get more flashbacks from when Brie and Juju went to college. There they would meet Tatianna, who was a badass feminist. And she'd be the one to help Brianna with her glow up. But the story was already going on too long and I couldn't fit any of it in.

Also I was going to go down a completely different route for the story. If any of you have actually seen the music video for Gimme Love by Joji, it ends on a more darker tone. And that's how I was gonna do it with this fic as it was based on it. But I just couldn't do it.

So I hoped you guys enjoyed it. I know I didn't get a lot of reads on it, but I'm glad knowing it was recieved by some. Anyway, on with chapter 9!

Major TW's for this chapter: Alcohol, mental health discussion.

2020

It was the day of the pre-party. It was going to be held at my place. I was prepared for possible drunkenness, embarrassing moments, but celebrations of everything we had accomplished. This was something I had worked my ass towards for so long, and it was finally happening.

I smiled, proud that I had finally punched myself in the face (figuratively, of course). I opened my eyes and saw how easy it was to rekindle with Mom. I was scared about seeing her in a few weeks, knowing we'd have to talk about my issues. But I knew now. If I didn't, I would just continue to get worse and worse.

On top of that, the Ed Sheeran problem was over and done with. His team understood fully, and he was set to perform at the launch.

And finally, I would meet Blair again. And it would be different this time. I wouldn't be the shy, insecure teenager she had always seen me as.

However, despite all these promising signs, my smile dropped. I imagined this morning playing out entirely differently.

Jujubee would be the first person to message me. Fuck, she'd probably even break in just to make sure I was up.

None of that happened. I know one should manage their expectations better. But it still hurt.

After two cups of coffee, some soggy cereal and a shower, I tried calling her. It rang a few times but went straight to voicemail mail.

I didn't bother leaving another message. I didn't wanna freak her out.

I probably wasn't helping my case. She probably thought I was relying on her, that she was life support for me.

But that wasn't the case. I mean, I couldn't just stand up and be like, "OK later, bitch," after practically growing up together. How could I just let go of someone I held so dear to my heart?

My eyes travelled across the kitchen, at first only her disappointment during our argument, how I had never seen her so angry.

On the counter, beside the fridge, there was my memory box.

What would Grandpa say in this situation?

Remember how I would write things he'd say to me? Just little bits and pieces of advice as something I could hold on to? I gave it to Mom to put it away for me. It had to be in the box.

I stood up, the stool making a scraping sound along the ground.

But a knock at the door tore my attention away.

Why did I hope it would be her?

Well, because it wasn't out of the ordinary for her to come and visit in the morning. Maybe this was it. I was forgiven.

I rushed to the door with the slight fear that if I wasn't fast enough, I'd miss her.

I unlocked the door and flung it open, a smile on my face, ready to greet her.

5 people were standing there; the decorators. I tried not to let my smile falter as I let them in.

-_-_-_-

8PM and my place had never looked livelier. For my first time hosting a party, it didn't feel like there was much hosting to do.

It felt like any other party I had been to, a room crowded with people dancing or talking to each other.

The music wasn't too loud, so the disorientation wasn't there.

I held back from drinking with the fear of doing something embarrassing, especially around Blair.

My bathroom was still clean when I went to apply a fresh coat of gloss. Good. Nothing to worry about.

I made my way back downstairs to the party, crossing the barrier at the bottom. The only place off-limits to the guests was upstairs. I'd hate to think there would be some people who'd want private time, especially in my bed. It happened at college once.

After a small party in our dorm, I found a couple midst coitus in my bed. Never again, I had said.

"Brianna!"

My head whipped in the direction of the voice, every bit of hope I had inside building up.

"You look stunning." A raven-haired woman approached.

"Thank you," I said in more of a questionable form. My brain couldn't figure out who this was.

"My name is Raja. I'm a writer for Cosmo," that explained it, "I was wondering if I could ask a few questions for a piece I'm doing. It's on the most influential women of the year."

I wanted to say no in the case I missed the arrival of Blair.

As if she read my thoughts, she spoke again. "It won't even be five minutes."

She was right about that. 15 minutes it lasted. We were locked in my bathroom, the four walls making the place feel cramped.

She asked me questions about how I reached this level, my morning routine, and what I put in my hair to make it so voluptuous. And all the while, I just kept fearing that Blair had arrived. That she had searched around for me and left when she couldn't find me anywhere. I would discreetly glance at my watch, hoping too much time didn't pass. But around 5 minutes in, I didn't care for subtlety. Not that Raja noticed. The questions seemed endless.

When she turned her recorder off, she further complimented my outfit. I thanked her, inching my way to the door. This lasted another 3 minutes.

She said I was a tiny woman with a lot of heart. I held back from saying I was a tiny woman with a lot of baggage.

When I finally escaped, I searched the place for Blair, and when I didn't find her, the panic started.

"Did anyone come in in the last 15 minutes??" I asked the workers hanging by the door.

"Yeah, there were 2 people. And I've never seen them around work. Could be anyone, Brie." They said with worry in their tone.

"OK, was one of them a girl? Blonde hair. Around my age?" I questioned further.

They glanced at each other for clarification, then looked back at me and shook their heads.

"Nope. Just two guys." One said.

"Probably on a pussy hunt at their local party." The other said.

"Or dick hunt."

"Or both."

"Nah, how would they even get in?"

Realising this was not Blair they were talking about, I thanked them and excused myself.

So she wasn't here yet. That's fine. Probably just running late.

I gave in and had one glass of champagne. Just to calm my nerves.

And the last person I wanted to see started to approach.

Ed fucking Sheeran. He raised a glass to celebrate and thanked me for the hotel room we paid for. I said it was no problem. And just as he was about to suggest some pictures for his Instagram, I quickly navigated away.

But I was caught by another person who just so happened to be Joey.

"I am so glad you changed your mind about the whole Ed thing. Like...girl…" he sipped his own drink.

"Yeah, it was easier than I thought." I shrugged. "Kinda feel awkward being in his presence now, though."

"I'll distract him if you want. British guys are kinda cute." Joey smirked.

I tsked, cocking my head at him. "Joey, you didn't like the guy a few weeks ago."

"I never said I didn't like him." He smirked.

"I mean, you can try." I rolled my eyes, a small smile appearing on my own face, "don't expect it to go anywhere."

Joey winked and brushed past me, making his way in Ed's direction.

Setting my glass down in my sink, I made my way to the bathroom just to check my lip gloss. A woman couldn't be too careful.

Once inside, I felt cramped again despite being alone. Maybe it was the underlying feeling of worry from being trapped in the room with Raja.

I told myself to breathe but then questioned why I was even doing such an exercise. Everything was fine. Life was good.

Looking in the mirror, my gloss was fine. But I applied a new coat anyway, just a reassurance.

And upon leaving, I set out in search of Blair again. She had to be here, just somewhere lost amongst this large amount of people.

Maybe she found someone else to talk to. Maybe not.

I moved to the balcony, the cool night air a relief.

But she wasn't there either.

I sighed, wanting a cigarette or something. Anything to calm the rising panic I was feeling inside.

I closed the door and moved further into the night, peering over the balcony and out into New York. The twinkling lights were pretty. I took a picture and sent it to my Mom. And in a few seconds, she started calling me.

"Hey, Mom."

"Hi, baby. I just thought I'd see how things are going." She asks, sounding pretty optimistic.

"I mean... it's OK, I guess. A bit crowded at my place right now." I replied.

"You nervous for tomorrow?" I hear the mischief in her voice.

She believed I'm not nervous, that I was a confident, strong woman. But she was wrong. "Of course I am. I mean, we've gone through all the precautions, so it should be fine. But still…"

"Well, baby, I promise you, everything will work out fine. It's you we're talking about."

I smiled, trying to teach my brain to agree with her.

"I would say I'd have a drink for you, but I'm trying to keep away from it tonight." Even though that was a lie.

"Yeah, you don't wanna go do something embarrassing like flashing anyone or whatever." She laughs.

"Wow. I didn't realise that was something I did." I quipped sarcastically.

"How about Jujubee?" I could still hear her smile.

But mine slowly dropped. Fuck, I had no idea. Immediately I stood back from the balcony. "Ugh...yeah, she's fine. She's good."

I moved to the door and looked past the glass at the large number of people. Fuck, I didn't even know if she was inside.

"Am I gonna get to see a picture of your outfits? You two always look like the stars of a party."

"Yeah," I faked a small laugh. "I'll go find her and get a picture. I'm gonna get back inside, OK?"

"No problem, baby. Love you."

"I love you too." I clicked end call and quickly made my way back inside.

How the fuck had I forgotten about her so quickly? Not like she was in my mind that morning or anything.

Now I had to find 2 people. I rushed inside, looking out for both of them. I checked the kitchen, dining area, lounge, the bathroom. Fuck, I even checked upstairs in the case Jujubee was there.

But there was no sign.

Where the fuck was she? Where was Blair?

It was getting harder to hold down the anxiety. Was Jujubee right about Blair? Was this another instance of my childhood crush getting my hopes up and flaking out?

The next drink tray I saw, my hand went straight for another glass. Two wouldn't hurt.

"Hey, you made it!" I heard from the front of the room, by the door.

I quickly downed the champagne and practically ran for it, too afraid to miss who had arrived.

Just as my hopes were quickly up, they fell just as fast. It was just Alex, Joey hugging him at the door.

"Fuck...Fuck...Fuck…" I whispered to myself.

A third glass of champagne found its way into my hand, and in a matter of seconds, it was down the hatch. I grimaced at the taste now, feeling like I could throw up at any second. Was that all just the anxiety, though?

Another bathroom break, I was fixing my gloss once again, scared to ruin my makeup. My hands were trembling. Fuck.

It wasn't stopping.

Back out in the main room, I tried to scan the crowd, standing on my tiptoes to try and see past everyone. It didn't help much.

Despite the music and rambling chatter happening around me, I heard the front door open, my eyes shot in its direction.

I struggled to move past a small group of coworkers, trying to get a good view of the door.

I didn't even get my hopes up this time. And, of course, it wasn't Blair.

Jujubee was right. Blair wasn't coming. Once again, she had led me on to believe I did mean something to her and that she'd give us a chance.

My hand gripped my scalp, turning away from the door. I growled, "Fuck," which didn't go unnoticed.

There was Nina with a hand on my arm. "Are you OK?"

"Yes." I lied so quickly. "I'm fine. Just... it's a little crowded in here," I fidgeted with my hands, "Is Jujubee here?"

"Yeah, you haven't seen her?" Nina raised a brow, rubbing her hand up and down my bicep.

"No." My eyes looked around briefly. "Where is she??"

"I dunno. She's you're best friend." Nina squinted her eyes. She didn't mean to sound accusatory. I guessed she was more concerned.

"She is." I reaffirmed, even though now I wasn't so sure.

"If it helps, the last place I saw her was the kitchen."

"When?"

"Half an hour ago."

I rolled my eyes and groaned. "She could be anywhere."

"Girl, it's fine. Not like we're in a labyrinth. You'll find her eventually." Nina smiled, rubbing my arm again.

I paid her no more heed and hurried towards the kitchen in the hope I'd find her there. But like the rest of my apartment, it was crowded. I stood on my toes again to try and catch a glimpse of black hair.

But there was no sign. Stressed, a shaking hand reached for another champagne. Usually, my tolerance for alcohol was high, but right now, I was feeling it. I was wavy.

In my now weary state of mind, I decided what was the fucking point? Blair had 100% flaked, as per usual, and Jujubee was obviously avoiding me at all costs.

Nina had followed me, taking my hand. "Follow me."

I didn't fight it. She moved to the staircase, pulled back the barrier and let me pass through.

She ushered me to walk up to the top before moving no further.

Turning towards the crowd beneath us, Nina addressed the people with a raised tone. "Can we have your attention, please?"

The people went quiet, beaming up at us.

Nina talked about how much of a good night it was, all while the alcohol was taking me over.

My eyes scanned the crowd, in the final chance of hope, wanting nothing more than to see Jujubee's glowing smile shining up at me.

But I couldn't. Not because I had double vision. But because she was nowhere.

I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing hard out through my nose.

Nina put her hand on my shoulder. And only then did I realise that I had blacked out, missing everything she said. I blinked a few times, trying to clear the film that had glazed my brown eyes.

"But we all wouldn't be here without our leading lady." She smiled warmly. "Everything she's achieved, it's all brought us to this moment. Let's raise a glass to Miss Brianna Caldwell."

Everyone started cheering, only a few raising a toast, the others clapping. My eyes widened, feeling all those eyes on me.

"Hope you have a speech prepared," Nina whispered in my ear.

And me, being the queen of saying just 3 lines and quickly evacuating the scene, decided no. Fuck it. I had something to say.

When the crowd began to settle down, I began to deliver the messiest speech ever.

"Well, funny you should mention achievements, Nina, because, yeah, I'm standing here before you all, having done the impossible. But what does that matter?" I laughed, shrugging. "Yeah, it does matter a whole fucking deal. I mean, look at you all. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't?" I laughed awkwardly again, but as I continued, my smile began to disappear. "Well, sometimes you just want a certain someone to give a shit. And they make you believe that they do. Just for like 5 minutes. And it feels so so fucking incredible. It feels like...like you matter. You're not just plain old Brianna Caldwell. You mean the world to them…" My tone dropped, "And then...you realise you're the most gullible, unaware, stupid fucking idiot in the world. They don't really give a fuck about you. They don't see all the things that you've achieved in life and think…' Wow...What an incredible person.' They just... don't give a fuck about you."

Everybody looked confused, uneasy even, while others giggled. Glad to know I was serving as the entertainment for the night, and I was in the same room as Ed fucking Sheeran.

Then, as if some higher power looked at me with a shaking head, maybe my grandpa, there was a glimmer of light at the back of the room, a flash of movement. And my eyes were drawn to the source.

My heart stopped

There she was. Finally. Blair St. Clair smiling apologetically at the few people who were looking at her. They smiled back as they should. She was breathtaking.

And her eyes moved to where everyone else was looking.

Right at me.

Such a familiar feeling was falling over me.

Everyone else in the room. Gone. Like they just stepped into another world, leaving the two of us in this reality.

She panted, out a breath, like she had run to my place. Impossible, she looked like an absolute angel in her gold wrap dress.

Nina nudged me. I snapped out of my daze, reminded of the whole crowd of people looking up at me with confused stares.

Fuck...what do I say now? How do I backtrack?

"But...you know what?" I started to speak again. "You realise, you're just overthinking again. 'Cause, that's a very on-brand thing for you. Every little incident of the past has taught you to doubt that good things actually can happen to you." My smile was returning. "Because the people who give a shit are there. Because you've done the impossible. And they couldn't be happier to be part of your story." My eyes were moving through the crowd, "Do what makes the ones around you proud, and what makes you fucking proud. And don't let anyone or anything hold you the fuck back. Because you have a purpose."

Thank fuck for the fact everyone started cheering again. I thought I had fucking bombed that I would see a recording of the same speech the following day all over Twitter, along with comments about how dramatic it was.

But it was fine. I saved it. I smiled at everyone and hugged Nina, suddenly overcome with happiness.

"Fuck you for not telling me you were gonna drag me up here," I whispered in her ear.

"Well, if I had asked you in the first place, you would have said no, honey." Nina grinned.

We pulled apart, and my eyes went back to the front door. I smiled, expecting to see Blair. But she had vanished. Fuck, I hadn't imagined her, right?

I tried to carefully make my way down the stairs without tripping, ready to look for her once again.

And upon reaching the bottom, Joey grabbed my hand and pulled me close, "someone on the balcony requires your attention."

He winked, and the butterflies in my belly went mad.

She was playing games with me. Not a very Blair St Clair thing to do, but the thought excited me.

I hurried to the balcony, ready to feel that cool air on my skin, her warm body pressed against mine.

And just as I was passing through the doors, feeling the cooling breeze, I stopped dead in my tracks.

I froze.

This wasn't what I expected; seeing her standing there, only noticing how radiant she looked in her orange suit dress.

Fuck. It felt so long since I had last seen her.

But it had been only a few days.

"Hi, Juju," I spoke quietly.

"Hey," she inhaled her cigarette, looking out to the city. If she hadn't replied to me, I would have guessed she failed to realise I was even there.

I swallowed, my eyes glancing down to the ground for a moment. The alcohol in my system was telling me to just turn and leave her alone. She didn't wanna see me.

But my brain said, "you idiot, she obviously invited you out here."

So I moved forward, rubbing the backs of my arms nervously.

I stood beside her, not even daring to look her in the eye. I looked at her orange suit, how Mom would have adored it.

"You invited me out here." I leaned my elbows on the ledge, my gaze following hers over the twinkling lights of New York.

"Yeah, I did." She did offer me a cigarette, but still, she never looked at me.

I shook my head, declining her offer, "Why didn't you just come and ask me yourself?"

"I was dying for a cigarette." She breathed out a stream of smoke. "Also, I've already spent most of the night trying to find you."

I couldn't help but breathe out a laugh through my nose. I glanced at her and was glad to see the smirk appear on those lips.

"I've been trying to fucking find you." I continued to laugh, a crack to my tone, however.

She finally looked at me, turning her body to face me. Her brows were knit together, yet the smirk remained. "No. I," she stressed, "have been trying to find you."

"So...what have I been doing for the past...I dunno, few hours?" I raised a brow. "Did I take 10 hits of acid earlier, or did I not search this place from top to bottom?"

She gave me a hopeless smile like she knew there was no point in arguing. She sucked on the cigarette, offering it to me.

I gave in, taking it from her hand, my fingers touching hers with a light touch. Her eyes moved to our hands as if she was thinking about it too. The feeling like this was a moment we needed to remember.

I took a drag on the cigarette, passing it back. She looked away, briefly turning her gaze to the ground.

But I kept my eyes on her like I'd never get another chance. "I really miss you, Juju," I spoke quietly, almost through a whisper.

She looked at me again. Her mouth moved around slightly yet remained closed like she wanted to say something. But she couldn't figure out what it was she was going to say.

I reached out, took her hand in mine. She seemed taken aback at first. But as my thumb stroked against the soft skin of her hand, a small smile began to resurface.

"There are…" she paused, "things that I would love to say to you. But I just... I'm afraid."

"Is it bad? Come on, Juju. You can tell me. You can tell me anything. I mean, we've grown up together. We've always told each other everything."

She looked apprehensive before taking another drag from her cigarette. And stubbing it out in the ashtray, she turned towards me once again.

She looked ready to say it. Whatever it was. I didn't even know the words yet. But I could tell this would mean a lot to her.

The muffled sound of the many people behind the closed glass doors became clearer, amplified even. Jujubee looked in its direction. My eyes followed.

"Blair," I uttered.

She looked slightly taken aback like she didn't know how to react to seeing us.

Jujubee dropped her hand to her side, a small puff of air leaving her nostrils.

"Jujubee." A smile appeared on Blair's face as she finally approached us both. "I didn't expect to see you here!"

"Likewise." Jujubee nodded slowly. She glanced at me, and I reciprocated.

Before I could figure out her exact emotion. But now, she was hard to read once again. My brows knit together, telepathically questioning what she was feeling.

Jujubee looked back at Blair. "Talk about awful timing though, I was just leaving." Jujubee smiled back at her.

Blair's smile was disappearing. "Oh." She paused, unable to say anything else.

"You don't have to go, Jujubee." I took her hand once again, stroking my thumb over her skin another time, just to remind her of the tender moment we were just having.

She smiled again, but only now, I knew the true words behind it. She pulled her hand away. "Early rise, actually. Gotta get up and ready for the big day tomorrow, right?" She raised her brows at me. Then she looked at Blair, "It was nice seeing you," and then back to me once more, "I hope you have a good night, Brie."

She averted her eyes, not even sparing me another glance. The clacking of her heels was deafening, each step away causing something inside to sting.

"It was nice seeing you again," Blair said before Jujubee could make it through the doors.

I heard a mumbled "yeah, yeah," before Jujubee went back inside.

My gaze still followed her, watching as she navigated the crowd.

"Did she...seem off to you?" Blair asked quietly.

"Yeah," I said without thinking. "I just...I don't know what's wrong with her...I can't...work it out…" my eyes never left the door, hoping Jujubee would reappear.

And feeling Blair's soft hand in mine, I was brought back to reality. I looked at her, seeing the concern in her eyes. Fuck, what a great way to reunite.

"Is something going on?" She asked softly.

I shook my head frantically, "N-No. We're fine...I guess I'm just overreacting. Yeah, she's just been...really busy with everything."

"That's probably true." She shrugged, glancing at the door, "Well, actually, I haven't seen what goes behind the public eye, but I bet it's taxing." Blair was facing me again, her eyes widening briefly.

I let out a small laugh, "Oh, you have no idea." And only then did I get a real chance to take her in. The girl had not changed. Well, call me corny, but she only got more radiant looking.

"I didn't think you'd come," I spoke with a hushed tone.

"Sorry, I was late. I couldn't get a cab for ages." She gave a half-smile. "I guess New York really is that kind of place."

"Fuck, I didn't think about traffic. I could have got you a driver or something. "I started rambling.

"No, it's OK. I'm here now anyway." Her eyes looked me up and down, "you look great, by the way. Pink always was your colour."

Funny how the last time she gave me a compliment, I shut her down. But now, I couldn't bring myself to do so. "Thank you."

I wasn't expecting her to hug me, but she did. It was very welcoming. If I could rate it out of 10, I'd give it a 9. Why the missing point? Cause she pulled away too soon. I needed that time, just to soak up the moment.

My arm was still around her waist when she put a hand to my face.

"It's so good to see you." She beamed, the city lights reflected in her eyes.

"You wanna go upstairs? We'll hear better up there. And it's kinda chilly out here." I hoped she didn't find that creepy or like I was suggesting something because that was not my intention, believe it or not.

I almost jumped, the sound of her sweet voice dragging me out of the storm that was my inner ramblings. "What about your party?" She looked over her shoulder at all the guests behind the closed doors."

"They'll be fine," I said too quickly.

"Oh. Well, if you say so."

She didn't find that weird. Good. I finally pulled my arm from her body but took her hand instead, leading her into the apartment.

I ignored the side glances we received, too focused on her presence behind me. Still so in disbelief that for once, she hadn't flaked out. She really did give a fuck. Walking up the stairs, I only noticed how my vision had cleared. I no longer felt drunk. Had it just been a quick rush of nausea that left me feeling so weary before? Or had the shock of seeing Blair literally walk into my life again shocked me so much to the point it sobered me up?

"Here we go," I said quietly, welcoming her into the upper level.

"Wow, you got another living room up here." Blair's wandering eyes landed on the couch.

"Yeah. The one downstairs is for fucking business and parties. And this one," I gestured to where she was looking, "is for hanging out mostly, and…" Why did I have to be so nervous?

"Hookups?" She looked at me with raised brows and a smirk.

I laughed nervously, moving to the fake fireplace and turning it on. Why didn't I just say no? She probably thought I was a slut or something. "Sit down if you want. Do you want a drink? I'd love a fucking drink right now."

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks, though." She replied, sitting down on the sofa and relishing the feeling of it.

"I need some fucking water." I rushed to the mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle.

Turning back to face Blair, she was looking at me in confusion. "You OK?"

"What?" That was all I thought to reply with.

"You seem kind of…" she paused, trying to figure out her words, "on edge."

"I do?" My hands played with the water bottle.

"Yeah, you've included the word 'fucking' in every sentence since we got up here." She allowed herself to smirk.

Subliminal, Blair. I like it.

Fuck, I dragged my mind out of the gutter and practically rushed to the couch. "Oh, it's just...tomorrow. The nerves, you know." I sat on the other end of the sofa, took a gulp of water and made myself comfortable.

Blair turned to face her body towards me. "Am I wrong, or was Ed Sheeran downstairs??"

"Yeah, he was. It's kind of a long story, actually." I laughed. "You a fan?"

"No, not really," Blair replied.

"Good, me neither. Not really into the whole wedding dance song vibe."

"Me too." She groaned, "If I hear Thinking out loud at another wedding, girl, I'm just...I dunno."

"I get it. 100%"

"Well, enough about him," Blair sat up straight, a bright smile on her face. She laughed for a moment before even speaking, "Fuck, I was just about to ask what you've been up to." She gestured a hand around the room, "I mean, duh."

"Yeah," I returned the laugh, "It's pretty much just that. This project has taken up most of my life over the years."

"God, I remember reading in the paper...fuck, I can't remember the exact title. It was this tiny article just squashed into a corner. 'Scientist seeks to prove the existence of other realities.' Yeah, it was something like that. And…" She shrugged, "I just knew it was you. And, I knew you'd go far."

I felt the blush creep onto my skin. Hearing this from Blair felt otherworldly.

"I mean, I knew before. When you told me at Prom, I knew you'd be able to do it." She added.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"Just hearing how you talked about it. Like, you really believed in yourself. It made me believe too." She swapped around the legs she crossed.

"It was hard. Trying to get people on board with everything. Not a lot of people believed it was even possible in the beginning." I unscrewed the cap from the bottle of water. "And now look at me; I got the government behind this whole thing." I shrugged and took a sip of the water. Before she could go on, I took the conversation on another route. "But what about you? Where are you in life?"

I knew where she was in life. Hadn't I Facebook stalked her not too long before?

"Well, it sounds far fetched, but I'm trying to get into the music scene." Blair sat back in her seat, eyes wandering off, looking at nothing in particular.

"You always did like performing," I noted. "Starting out in the school playgrounds. Soon you'll be playing an Arena with a sold-out show."

Did I sound cheesy? Was I too much of a kiss ass? Because to me, this was honesty. I always thought Blair had the potential to be a famous singer. She had the voice, the looks, style and personality. Who wouldn't want her as part of their label?

Fuck, it only hit me that I could have gotten her a spot to perform at the event.

Blair had stood, a small sigh emitting her lips. "An Arena? Imagine that." She smirked for a moment, stepping away from the couch. For a hot second, I thought I had stepped on territory I shouldn't have, and she was leaving. But she made her way to the window, staring out over New York. So I naturally went too. "Well, I've just been singing around bars for a while now, even had 2 gigs. Nothing too amazing." She explained. "I mean, I know you say Arena and all, but, actually, I wouldn't wanna be that big. I just...want people to hear my music."

Her smile faltered somewhat, and it spoke volumes. It wasn't happening fast enough for her, the growing number of ears that would someday listen to her words. She wanted it all now.

I sidestepped a bit closer. My fingers were so close to brushing against hers, then stopping myself in realising that was too much. "It does take time, these things. I mean, I didn't get here overnight. It will happen, Blair." She flashed me a gracious smile, and I was glad she didn't find any of that condescending. That was not my aim. "Anyway, I'd love to hear your music."

"You would?" Blair cocked her head to the side, turning more to face me, her hand on the window cill closer to mine.

"Of course," I reply. She should've known that anyway.

"Well, I'm not gonna break out into song for you right now. But I have a few videos on my Facebook. You should add me." She suggested.

I had never opened Facebook so fast. "There. I sent you a request." I scrolled through her timeline, my back now to the window, "Lemme see."

"Oh, God. Please don't. Not right now." Blair panicked.

I lifted my gaze, my eyes almost wide. Blair St Clair, the girl who wasn't hesitant to approach a mic, was embarrassed. I found this to be adorable and oddly made me feel more relaxed. "Don't be shy, Blair. I'm sure they're great."

"Brianna, don't." No joke, Blair attempted to snatch my phone away like a child.

I found it highly amusing. "Why not?" I smiled mischievously.

Blair continued her protests, trying to swipe at the phone more and more, all while laughing nervously.

Eventually, my teasing led to a chase. I still scrolled her Facebook as I ran around the room, Blair behind me.

"Which one should I look out for?" I stood at one end of the couch.

Blair stood at the other end, letting out a pant. "Brianna, you better not."

I stepped to the right, throwing her off, and she ran to her left, ready to run straight at me and take the phone out of my hand.

But I tricked her. When I took that step to the right, I pulled back and moved to the left instead. And without thinking, I threw myself down on my bed.

Before I could even get up, Blair was already there, too, crawling towards me. She reached for my phone, still pleading with me to stop.

And finally, giving the current circumstances, I gave in. "OK, OK. You win. I won't play your music in front of you." I giggled mischievously, shuffling so my back was against my headboard. "You're gonna have to remind me to check it out, though."

Blair remained at the bottom of my bed, kicking her heels off and folding them like a pretzel. It was as if we were teenagers again, catching up on all the hanging out we never got to do. She fluffed out her hair, "God, Brie, I came here to have a good time. Not to work out. Why are you still looking at your phone?"

Now that I was on her profile, scrolling back to the top, I saw a familiar picture. "Wow, this George guy's kind of cute."

Blair smiled warmly, her eyes looking upwards. And I had the slightest sinking feeling she was about to tell me this was her fucking lover or husband.

"Ah...George. What a guy." Blair blinked. "He does music too. If you like my stuff, then you'll like his too. He's got this song Gimme Love. It's my favourite."

"Is he your boyfriend?" There was no hesitation in asking.

Her brows briefly crossed. "What? No. He's one of my closest friends. Really helping me find places to perform. He's just...really cool."

I mouthed a silent 'Oh' before going on and cocking my head to the side, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Was it normal to ask shit like this? Maybe it was. But considering I had confessed to her I liked her very much in that accidental message, perhaps I shouldn't have said it at all. Didn't want her getting sus.

I got the feeling she knew I was trying to find a way in as she raised a brow at me, the corners of her mouth turning upwards. "Nah, Brie. I'm done with boys."

I lowered my phone. That could have meant anything;

She was strictly into girls;

She had just gotten out of a bad relationship with someone, and she was going through that typical 'men are trash' phase;

She used the term 'boys' when referring to immature fuck boys who still thrived in toilet paper bombing people's houses and still fought with feminists online. She was now looking for 'a real man' who would love and respect her.

She wasn't speaking, just lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Before the silence could go on and get awkward, I shifted in my own spot. "Do you wanna elaborate on that?"

"Oh. Yeah, if you want to hear it." She said like she didn't want to, and before I could stop her, she went on, "Well, the last was Conrad. He cheated on me. Before him, there was Ethan. I found out he'd talk shit about me to all his meathead buddies, said that my ass wasn't big enough. Then Bryce with his superior attitude. And…" she sighed, "Fucking Trevor."

Just hearing his name did something to me. I could feel how my shoulders had tensed, how the breath got stuck in my throat for a moment. But my ability to talk was unaffected because I spoke up, "I remember you saying he was controlling." I moved away from my headboard, shuffling closer to her, so close she could have put her head in my lap if she wanted.

Blair nodded, "he was," she breathed out a sigh, "I can't believe I'm even admitting this, but after high school, I started seeing him again. He promised me he would change, that things would be different. And I always feel like such an idiot for believing him."

That was upsetting. My hand squeezed in a fist. "So, what was the final straw? The thing that made you end things for the last time?"

Blair took in a deep breath, rolling over onto her front and propping her head upon her hands. She looked up at me with sad eyes. "He was just the same, Brie. Always controlling me, telling me how to act, who I could and couldn't hang out with. He was like that from the beginning to the end. I mean, you remember how he reacted about that one sex-ed class? And that time, he yelled at me in front of everyone for not sitting with him at lunch one day?"

I had no idea about the last thing. And I wasn't even surprised. Trevor was that type of guy, and you just knew it within the first few minutes of meeting him.

I was curious to know, but I kind of already had a feeling. Yet, I needed clarification. "Is that why you never came back to the library? Because he knew people would talk if you were seen with the school loser?" She leaned up now, but I continued. "Is it why you never came to speak to me about the prom?"

Blair was just watching me in silence. But I could see it, the realisation in her face.

"Fuck." She sat up and moved closer to me. "Oh my gosh, Brianna. I am so sorry. I had...no idea it would hurt you." We were both face to face, and she put her hands on mine, her eyes apologetic. She cussed, briefly looking away. "Fuck, I knew you hated me. The years of silence, of course, you did."

"Wait, no. Stop. I'm sorry. I don't wanna make you feel like a bad person. That's not what I wanted to do." I said profusely, my hands tightening just slightly.

"No, no. I'm sorry. You have every right to be upset." She spoke quietly, her blue eyes pleading with me. "Just be honest with me. I owe you that. You deserve to be heard."

"Really, Blair, it's fine. It's - -"

"Brianna. You're upset. You're not really good at hiding it, no offence." She smirked at the last comment. But the smile disappeared, and she waited for my response.

I stared back at her, my gaze shifting between both those eyes. My mind debated what to do, refuse to say a thing and let it all continue to build up. Or vent years of pent up emotions that needed to be said.

I looked away, deciding the latter decision was probably the best. I really didn't want to, what with the risk of upsetting her.

But maybe she wouldn't.

But maybe she would.

But maybe…

Her hand left mine and swept a strand of hair away from my face. I didn't even know it was there. "You're really hurt, Brie," she spoke softly.

I looked back to her finally, her hand lowering back down. And I finally found my voice. "OK." I shifted in my spot, highly uncomfortable. Come on, Brie. Just tell her.

"Do you remember the prom? When you asked me how we never talked more?" Just say it. "Because I always felt inadequate. Like I wasn't enough for you. And, not just you, even my…" I paused, feeling the lump form in my throat, "...my parents. Ummm…" saying that out loud to her, it hit differently. My voice was cracking. "I always associated you with my parents. I don't know where the connection came from, and I know now that that's fucked up, and I know I probably should go to a therapist about that, but..." I quickly explained. "But yeah, I just...never felt enough. Like 'why would Blair the cheerleader want to associate with someone like me? How could Blair ever love someone like me??'"

Fuck, it just slipped out. I studied her face for a reaction, expecting her to back away.

But she didn't. She just nodded in understanding, squeezing my hand reassuringly.

"But, um...I know now. It wasn't that you didn't care. It was just...fucking Trevor." I practically growled that name.

Blair breathed out a laugh, rolling her eyes. "Fucking Trevor."

"Yeah, fuck that asshole," I allowed myself to smile before continuing on. "I just... didn't understand how hard that actually was for you."

"It was very hard. God, it bothered me so much because I really did have a soft spot for you, Brianna. I really did, ever since we were kids." Blair smiled warmly. "And that's why I'm so glad you replied to my message. After all these years."

I gulped, thinking about that damn message, and now seeing her loving smile. "Y-You didn't think it was weird?"

Blair sighed, yet her smile remained. "Brianna. Do you think I'd be sitting here if it was?" She moved her hand to my elbow, up my shoulder, caressing my cheek gently.

I almost said something. I couldn't even remember what it was. Not that it mattered because I didn't get the chance. The moment I had been waiting for, it was happening. Her face was moving closer to mine, eyes slowly closing. And as soon as I felt her lips brush against mine, the feeling of her touch caused the butterflies in my stomach to flutter. I closed my own eyes and accepted what was happening.

The kiss my teenage self craved, dreamed about even.

It was reality.

We hadn't just slipped into some other world.

This was real life. The feeling of her hand on my cheek, that was real. The butterflies in my stomach fighting against the walls, also real.

And how I lifted my hand and held her face, also real.

She pulled away first, but her lips were still close, "was that OK?"

"Yeah," I moved my face back towards hers, initiating another kiss. I was savouring every bit of this moment. The sweet taste of her was too much to not let go of.

But she pulled back again, letting herself fall back against the mattress. I stared at her for a few seconds. Fuck, this was happening. Something inside me was hesitant to do this. The nerves, the fear of not being enough for her.

Blair reached out for my hand, and I knew I was just overthinking again. I took her hand and allowed her to pull me down to her.

Lowering my face to hers, I kissed her again, more hungrily this time. For a second, I didn't know where to go from there, still so in disbelief that my luck had turned around.

When I pulled away, my hand travelling down the side of her face. "Oh my God...is this real?"

"Of course it is." Blair giggled, her hands roaming up and down my back.

"OK. Good!" I panted, moving my kisses to her cheek, then her neck, and I could feel my heart beating a bit faster.

But because I am Brianna Caldwell, the most awkward person to have ever lived, I had to go on with the questions. "Hey, Blair, can I ask you something?" I kept my lips where they were.

"Mhmm?" She purred when I kissed that point where her neck met her shoulder. The pathetic noise she made almost made me melt, I swear to God.

"Were you…" come on, Brie, just say it, "were you gonna kiss me at the prom?"

She chuckled, "Yeah. But Trevor had to be an insecure loser."

I appreciated the cute giggling sound she made.

I lifted my head away from her skin and leaned up. I looked at her with a raised brow.

Blair was smiling still, but I knew she was getting impatient.

"So...you like-liked me back then too? Even when I was ugly?" I asked.

"Brianna, you were never ugly." Blair's brows connected, a hand stroking up and down my side. She really was getting needy. "And yes. I always like-liked you. God, that's so cute. You still say like-like." She took my hands and guided them to the knot tight at the side of her wrap dress.

"Shut up. Fuck, you're so beautiful." My hands began to untie the knot while I lowered my face and kissed along her clavicle and the only bit of exposed chest I had access to.

"Fuck. If only you knew how long I wanted this." Blair mewled. "I didn't think this was ever gonna happen. Even when I saw you and Juju out on the balcony, I was like...fuck. I'm too late."

Confusion immediately took me over. I pulled back again, looking down at her. A brief flash of frustration appeared on her face, but I ignored it. "Wait. What?"

"Yeah, I just…" Blair looked away for a moment as if debating on continuing or not, "always saw how you were around her. Always so happy. Like you were on top of the world. And I just didn't want to get in the way of that."

Her hand was trailing along my thigh, but I ignored it.

"Wait...Jujubee?" I knew that's who she was talking about, but even the sound of her name, it made something inside hurt. Not a hurt that she caused. Something...so different yet familiar at the same time.

"Yes. I never saw you that happy around anyone else…" Blair leaned back, balancing against my propped knees. "I mean, the prom? The way you looked at me, it was nothing compared to when you're with her. With Jujubee, it was...always so different."

Realisation dawned on me. I knew what she was getting at.

I opened my mouth to speak, ready to say I didn't like Jujubee in that way. But the words wouldn't surface. No matter how much I willed myself, I just couldn't. Even the thought of saying it made that feeling of hurt feel 10 times worse.

"You OK?" Her fingers danced around my thigh again, only with more wanting now.

"But…" I began, "I gave you my Valentine's card in first grade."

Now she was silent, her gaze shifting between both my eyes. She leaned up on both elbows, realising my questions weren't going to stop, and her pussy wasn't going to be eaten any time soon. She gave a nervous laugh, "um, no. You gave it to Jujubee."

I squinted my eyes. "No. I gave it to you, Blair."

"Girl, you gave it to me, and when I asked if it was mine, you shouted at me, saying it was for Juju and you just wanted me to check it out." She was laughing again. But seeing my still confused face, her smile began to drop. "You don't remember that?"

I was silent for a moment. Blair was in front of me, the love of my life, but all I could see was the image of Jujubee in my head. Her perfect little face, the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she laughed, that bright smile, her silky black hair that always smelt so good.

I thought back, all the way back to that specific Valentine's Day. I remembered handing the card to Blair, her confused face, how the kids snickered as I stood there feeling sorry for myself. And Jujubee shouting at them all for making jokes.

But that was all.

"I... don't remember that," I spoke quietly, my eyes squinted.

"Not even the card she gave you?"

My eyes widened at that. "She did what?"

"Yeah, she gave you a card."

Now that she mentioned it, there was a flicker of an image in my head; something pastel pink. My tiny painted fingers holding a heart shape. Baby Brianna smiling, only to lift her head and see the other kids making fun.

"Oh, shit…" I whispered. I climbed off Blair and got up from the bed.

I was on the verge of pacing, my hand in my hair, "Oh my God."

"Don't be embarrassed, Brie." Blair was fully sat up in the bed now, her legs spread as if trying to beckon me back. "Not a lot of people can remember so far back."

I needed to prove if this was real or not. I'd call Jujubee. But then again, would she have even answered? If what Blair was saying was true, that explained why Jujubee was behaving the way she was. She was hurt. She was pissed because I didn't remember her card.

But how the fuck could I have forgotten something like that? All my life, that was all I ever wanted - to know I was loved by someone. Such a memory like that…

"Brie, are we...you know...gonna…" Blair spoke quietly.

My eyes widened. A memory like that. A memory that would be worth keeping.

I turned to face her. "Blair, wait here. I'll be right back."

"OK. Sure." Blair blinked a few times.

I wasted no time rushing downstairs. Taking a moment to observe the crowd, it seemed, quite a few guests had left already. At least it would make it easier to navigate.

I made my way to the kitchen. The memory box was still there. For a millisecond, I feared someone would have stolen it.

I took it to the counter, no one was around, so I felt safe enough to open it.

My nerves were wrecked as I lifted the latch to the box. I only had a small idea of the things that would be in here. Old photos, movie tickets, childhood drawings.

But I hadn't planned on opening it up so soon.

No. I needed to know the truth.

Opening it up, I saw a bunch of photos, tickets and pieces of folded up paper. I removed them, planning to possibly look at them at a later date.

The more I pulled out, the more confident I felt that Blair had got it all wrong. And she was the one who remembered things differently.

But there was a flash of pink at the bottom of the box. I gulped, pushing aside the scraps of paper burying it.

And there it was; A pastel pink heart-shaped card, 'Happy Valentines Day' writing in glitter gel pen on the front. "Shit…" I said quietly, pulling the card out.

Opening it up, I breathed out a puff of air.

'Dear Brianna, I know people in class are mean and say nasty things. But I think you are the prettiest girl in the world. Happy Valentine's day. Love from Juju xxx'

I could hear the younger version of myself reading it out loud, the insults from the other kids, Jujubee yelling at them because they were just jealous.

I put the card down as I realised Blair was right. And memories resurfaced, reading completely different.

That Valentines Day in which she refused to tell me who she had eyes for

That time she didn't invite me to stay for dinner.

How her smile would drop every time I mentioned Blair.

How I never danced with her at the prom

And finally, our recent argument.

It all made sense. Jujubee was in love with me. And instead of recognising it earlier on, I was too caught up with Blair to see it.

And what about me? How did I feel about her? Yeah, Jujubee was my one and only friend. She had gotten me through so much throughout the years. If it weren't for her, who knew where I would have been.

I couldn't pinpoint any time that I had thought of her as more than just a friend.

Well, maybe the times we'd lie in bed and just...stare into each other's eyes. Or the time she held me as I sobbed into her chest after the incident at the prom. Or maybe the times she'd smile, and it would brighten up my day. Or the exact day that I noticed how cute it was when her lashes fluttered.

Or…

My eyes met the heart-shaped card again, how the very sight of it made my heart skip a beat.

"Fuck." I ran my fingers through my hair as it was clear to me.

My eyes ventured away from the card, moving to the scraps of paper.

'Grandpa's tips for life'

My hand told me to examine the piece of paper further, so I did so.

At the top of the list, there it was. A sign.

'Go get her, kiddo. You've got nothing to lose.'

I needed to tell her.

I packed the box up and quickly left the kitchen, noting that a few more people had left.

"Blair!" I called, rushing up the stairs.

She was still there, laying in the bed, in just her white lacey lingerie.

I covered my eyes. "Oh my God. That was unexpected."

"Fuck. Sorry. I kind of had a feeling that would have been inappropriate." She asked.

"What? No. You're fine. I just... wasn't prepared for that." I stuttered, still covering my eyes. "Could you just...cover-up for a second."

"OK." I heard her say. "You can look now."

I looked back. She did pull the duvet up, but just below the wire of her bra.

"OK," I breathed out, trying to ignore her cleavage, "I think you're right about Jujubee."

"You think?"

"Yes," I replied before shaking my head profusely. "No. I know. You're right, Blair. I...I like her. Maybe even love her." Fuck, saying that out loud, it did something to me, "And yes, I liked you for so long, but you're right. I was always happiest with her."

I was expecting her to be disappointed, but she smiled. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

"What?"

"Go get her."

Grandpa's words reiterated.

"You're not upset that we're not gonna have sex right now?"

"No, Brie." Blair threw back the covers, picking up her gold wrap dress off the floor, "I already learned how to deal with it. Knowing you belonged to someone else." She wrapped her body up in the dress effortlessly, fluffed out her hair and turned to look at me again. "I know you're meant to be with her. So, go. Go tell her now before it's too late."

Despite this revelation, I couldn't help but feel like a dick. Blair was smiling, but I knew she had to feel some level of hurt. I walked towards her and brought her into a hug.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you, Brie," Blair whispered in my ear.

I only held her tighter, "Don't be," and I pulled away, my hands still on her shoulders, "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have ever opened my eyes."

I kissed her on the cheek, and she smiled warmly. I turned to leave, and before I made my way downstairs, I looked at her once more. Her hand was on her face where my lips had been. I was glad I could give her that one last kiss, just something to hold on to.

"You really helped me, Blair," I said.

"Good." She said graciously. "Now go."

The urgency in her voice only fueled my determination.

I was under no time limit, but I couldn't help but want to reach Jujubee as soon as possible.

When I was outside, I shouted for the first cab I saw. Thankfully it pulled over. I got in and pulled out my phone.

But the car was still.

"Go! Drive!" I raised my voice.

"Lady. You haven't even told me where you're headed!" The cabbie turned in his seat.

Fuck, I sounded crazy. How he hadn't thrown me out was beyond me.

I only realised that I had no idea where my destination was. Jujubee could have been anywhere.

The driver was still looking at me, his patience growing thin. So I barked out Jujubee's address.

He seemed relieved to be on the road again. Only then was I aware of the honking cars behind us. Typical for New York, but this was too much.

I found Jujubee's number, trying my luck at the chance she'd answer.

It rang.

And it rang.

And it rang some more.

"Come on, come on," I repeated quietly to myself. Relax, Brie. It's not like she's catching a plane to the furthest state.

The phone went straight to voicemail. "Fuck!"

The cab driver glared at me in the rearview mirror.

I ignored him and tried again. Still nothing.

A few minutes passed, and I tried once more. But again, my luck was shit on.

I dropped my hands to my lap, sighing frustratedly. All I could do was just see if she was home.

My eyes trailed to beyond the window, just hoping to get there as soon as possible.

And there she was. Walking out of a pizza place, a solemn look on her face.

"There she is," I said aloud to myself before turning my attention to the cab driver. "Stop! Pull over!"

He came to a grinding halt. "Jesus Christ, lady! You really need to stop all that yelling and - -"

I handed him a $20 bill, "keep the change. Thank you."

I got out of the vehicle, eyes looking to where Jujubee once was. She was gone.

"Fuck." I looked down one path, not there. And looking down the other, there was Jujubee, rounding the corner and eating a slice of pizza.

I ran in my heels, people moving out of the way to dodge me.

I knew I was an inconvenience to so many, but Jujubee at that moment was my priority.

Rounding the corner, I saw she didn't get far. I couldn't help but bend over for a hot second, trying to catch my breath.

And when I recovered, I shouted out, "Jujubee!"

She turned, eyes wide like she had never heard my voice before. And when she saw it was me, her face sort of fell.

My hand reached into my bag, and I pulled out the Valentines Day card.

She looked confused at first, but then recognition settled in. And the disappointment was replaced with fear.

I stopped panting. And finally, I could speak. "You were right. Approval; That's all I ever wanted. And I thought that if Blair gave that to me, I'd be good enough. Because I never felt that. I never felt good enough. I wasn't good enough for Blair, I was never good enough for my parents, and I'd never be good enough for anyone."

Jujubee was silent for a moment, eyes falling to the pavement and then back up again. "You were good enough for me."

I breathed out. "I know. But I was...too caught up in my own shit to think about how you felt. Too caught up that...I didn't even think about how I felt." I paused, thinking of how the fuck I should say it. No, I didn't need to think. This wasn't some cheesy movie. "I...I love you, Juju."

She let out a breath, a shaky one like she was on the verge of tears. And her eyes became glossy. I really wanted to tell her not to cry, to be happy. But this moment, she wanted this all her life.

A tear slipped down her cheek, but she laughed. "Fuck, I got this fucking pizza 'cause I needed heartbreak food."

I returned the laugh. "Hey, it's OK. You can still eat it. It can be normal pizza."

"No. I'm not even hungry anyway." Jujubee admitted, passing the pizza to a random passerby (who was taken by surprise but accepted the free food anyway).

Jujubee walked towards me. I smiled, already smelling that sweet perfume.

But she pushed me back. "Fuck you for forgetting about the card. I knew you did. I always remembered yours."

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why I forgot. But," I paused, "Blair reminded me."

"She did?"

"Yep."

"Wow. She remembered. But you didn't."

"Yeah. I'm...really really sorry."

"Wow. Is this our first couple fight?" Jujubee put her hands on her hips.

"It could be. If... that's what you want to call us." I suggested.

"Perfect. Seal the deal?" She raised a brow.

I knew where this was going. "Oh, absolutely."

Jujubee stepped closer, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pressed her lips against mine. And that unfamiliar spark coursed through me, like it came from somewhere inside her and travelled through my body.

And I didn't care for the fact we were in the middle of the street, probably inconveniencing others. All that mattered was the happiness coursing through me, the feeling of...being complete.

I pulled out of the kiss first. "Wanna get in that rocket and be the first to go to the other world?"

Jujubee smiled but quickly stopped. "I-I'm kinda unprepared. I mean... I'd need a toothbrush, my clothes..."

"Where we're going...you don't need 'em." And then I played the words back in my head. "Oh. Oh shit, no. Not in that context. I just meant... you'd get new ones, you know? Fuck, I'm terrible at this."

"No. You're just you." Jujubee laughed, and fuck, I adored how her eyes were crinkling at the corners.

We grabbed the nearest cab. When we told him where we were going, his eyes widened. It would be a journey. But we paid upfront, so the driver remained silent.

When we got to base, I almost cursed myself for not thinking about how we'd access all the areas.

But there was that mastercard. And they couldn't say no. They knew who I was, after all.

When we were in the gowning area, Jujubee and I helped each other into spacesuits. I was high with anticipation, ready to see what was on the other side, ready to do it all with Jujubee.

This was our dream.

Jujubee grabbed two helmets. One for her and one for me. She tossed it my way, and I caught it.

"Ready to go?" She asked.

"Absolutely." I extended my hand, and we made our way to the door.

The cold cool air was refreshing. My eyes travelled up and down the rocket. It was bigger than I imagined, and for a small second, I felt worthless. Like I was just Brianna Caldwell, a girl from a small town with no real purpose in this world.

But Jujubee slid her hand into mine. And I was reminded that all I had to do was shut my inner demons up. Because I did have a purpose. And I was something to someone. As long as I had her, that was all that mattered.

Jujubee smiled mischievously, pulling me along the bridge, leading me to the already opened door. She ducked down and climbed into the small space, and I followed.

It was disorientating at first, what with the rocket facing the sky. I feared I'd fall trying to get into my seat. But Jujubee continued to pull me along.

When we were seated, I wasted no time putting on my helmet and initiated the activation process.

I could feel Jujubee's smirk as I flicked at switches and pressed buttons. It only fueled my excitement.

A voice came through the radio, one of the engineers. We were bombarded with questions, demanding to know what we were doing, how it was too early for take off with no press to film it, all sorts of complaints.

But we didn't care.

When everything seemed ready to go, I put my hand on the lever. But before I pulled, I turned my head to her.

"Ready to see the flying horses?" I raised a brow.

"Just as ready as I am for the cats that bark." She breathed out a laugh through her nostrils.

With another smile, I pulled the lever. The ship was rumbling now, and my stomach was doing somersaults.

We both turned our attention to the sounds of protest from the engineers. They were livid now, shouting about how the media wasn't going to like this.

I lifted my hand up, flipping the source of the sound off. Jujubee cackled to my delight.

I put the intercom on mute. And the ship took off. Mom was gonna kill me for this. I'd definitely bring her back a gift. A new vase, maybe? Yeah. A vase from an entirely new world. Something new.

I looked forward, unable to see the ground below us. How high were we already? How long was left until we reached that crossover, the gateway?

My question was answered as the ship was illuminated by a bright light.

We did it, Grandpa. We did it.

[enchantedtomeethyun]

Cruel Summer Part 3-Chan

Warnings: mild smut. Language. ANGST

It was a week later and I hadn't seen Chan all day. He had been busy preparing for an interview with the boys and he wasn't going to be back at the dorms until late because of practice. After that night we had made things official but not completely. He told the boys of course who had a feeling something was going on. But he had not told his manager or the company about it since they are on a dating ban until next year. Seems pretty stupid if you ask me but at least he's mine right?

For the past week I have been living at the dorms with the boys cause my apartment is getting renovated no thanks to my neighbors neglect of their pasta and setting almost all of their kitchen on fire and mine as well. Since there are people there working I can't sleep so Chan offered for me to sleep over at the dorms. Of course me being me thinking I can get in on some one on one time with him since that night we confessed didn't end with an intense session of fucking. Instead he drove us to ihop and we ate pancakes. Yeah pancakes are great but I wanted some dick. Some Chan Dick™️.

We actually haven't touched each other for about a week and half. Yeah he's busy but man my mind can wonder just laying in his bed all day waiting for him to come back. 

The rain began to pour and I fell asleep on the pillowy soft bed. It smelled like him too. Now you're wondering what he smells like. But only I know. It was around 12am when I heard the creaking of the door open and shuffled footsteps approach the bed. His heavy breathing makes me confused. Was he in a hurry to get back? Tossing over to the side where he is I opened my eyes slowly.

"Channie.." I said quietly. He sits down on the bed and cups my face in his hands smiling.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry baby.." he said kissing me on the forehead. He takes off his shirt leaving only his boxers on. Climbing into bed with me he reaches for my torso pulling me close to his. He drapes his arm around my waist and I feel his hot breath on my neck. Everything is calm and cozy but I kind of wanna raise a little hell. I adjust my position stretching my legs then rubbing my butt against his front earning a confusing grunt from the boy behind me.

"Baby are you ok?" He mumbles out half asleep  reaching for my hand and holding it.

"Mmmm yeah I am it's just.." I trail off.

"Hm? What's wrong? Are you cold I can turn off the fan or get you a blanket did you need something?" He continued on worry in his eyes.

"Maybe not something.." I said looking at him hoping he would get my drift.

"Oh uh ok goodnight then heh " he responded sounding nervous. How is this man so dense. What do I have to do take his dick out and suck it?  Maybe if I just flat out say it. I want your dick.

"I want your dick". I said flatly. Chan's eyes opened wide. He began to laugh covering his face.

"Sorry sorry .....sorry". He said between laughs.

"Yah! What's so funny!"  I said sitting up irritated.

"No no! You're just so bold all of a sudden. I was just surprised." He said smiling and catching his breath from laughing.  I climbed over to him sitting on top of him. His arms stretched behind his head relaxed. He had a dazed smile on his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that.." I said slowly. He chuckled and remover his hands from behind his head and placed them in my waist.

"This is just the first time we are doing this together ever since we made it official. I'm just nervous. " He says eyes looking away.

"Nervous about what? We did this before.. I've seen your dick before chan?" I said crossing my arms.

"Yeah but this is the first time in this setting. In my home. What if it's different or like ?" He goes on and I cut him off mid sentence with a kiss to the lips.

"I missed those rude interruptions.." he said as he began to feel around my waist pulling me in for a longer kiss. His lips are soft and welcoming. He feels like coming home. In the heat of the moment he takes the time to take off my sweatshirt and shorts leaving me in nothing on top of him. His boxers begin to feel a bit uncomfortable for him as his dick begins to make its self known underneath my lap. Taking my hand I begin the stroke him. He stops me for a second to take off his boxers leaving nothing on him. He then takes me by my waist lining me up with his throbbing dick dripping with pre cum. When I go down on him it takes me a second to get comfortable but once i do I begin to ride him slowly. Chans moans are low in tone but loud in volume. I kept going till I heard laughing coming from the other room making me stop and my eyes shoot to Chans panicked.

"It's just hyunjin and his girlfriend. They watch 90 day fiance every Friday night." Chan explains pleading with his eyes for me to keep going. I nod my head and continue on until I feel it building up. I know he feels it too because there is no way Hyunjin and his girlfriend can't hear him. While riding out my high all I can think of is how their laughing and talking ceased. Snapping me out of that was Chan thrusting into my rapidly trying to cum. When he does I feel it shoot up into and the warmth begins to ooze out as I climb off of him. He kisses my cheek rolling over to hold me. With that i fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up and Chan was gone. I was a bit sad since I had always Imagined what it would finally be like wake up by his side in this context. My only one. Instead I feel that feeling that I was all too familiar with. Waving up the next morning in the hotel room to an empty bed and money on the table to tip the maid. I'm sure he needed to go to practice so i decided to get up forgetting about what he did inside me the night before. Touching my upper inner thigh it felt sticky to the touch. Walking over to the corner to grab my clothes I put them on and walk into the hallway to find the bathroom. Walking past Hyunjin's room I hear similar sounds Chan and I were making the night before. The only difference is their "I fucking love you" and "fuck you too ahh". Chan never really talked to me or expressed his feelings during sex. Walking into the bathroom my head was hung over. Removing my clothes and locking the door I took my phone out of my pocket and texted Chan.

Me: hey where did you go? Practice? Cuz hyunjin is here still

Sent

Placing it on the counter I step into the shower and begin to wash away the night before. After I was finished in the shower I wrap myself in a towel and sit on the stool by the counter checking my phone for any response from Chan. Before I could look there's a knocking at the door.

"Hey uhh when are you done cause we need to shower .." Hyunjim says.

"Oh my God don't say it like that. First you sound rude and second you make us sound gross." The girl said laughing.

"Yeah I'm done hold on." I said laughing. I slipped my clothes back on and opened the door. There stood hyunjin and his girlfriend holding towels behind their backs. Weird. The girl was shorter than him by like 8 inches at least but that didn't stop him from hugging her from behind as they waited. Scrolling through tiktoks and laughing in their own world I made my first foot step loud to get their attention. This worked cause the moment the door way was free I heard them yelling about racing to see who could get naked the fastest and the door slamming shut. What an odd couple. I look at my phone looking for Chans reply and there it is.

Chan: we were crazy to think that this would work

Huh.

Me: Chan what do you mean where are you?

Chan: I'm at the spot. Meet me there.

Racing to get there grab my shoes and leave the dorm and take the short walk it was to our spot. The vending machine alley. Once I arrived i ran over to him giving him a hug. He was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands as he colors me blue.

"You make me blue." I said pouting and taking a seat next to him on the pavement. He reaches for my hand and holds it.

"We're we stupid to jump into this?" Chan begins.

"What are you talking about we've been seeing each other for months?" I said questioning him.

"I can't seem to separate what we had previously and what we have now. Last night felt the same and I don't know why but I'm confused..." He said looking at me.

"Con confused? It felt the same cause we've liked each other that's why! That's a good thing..." I said laughing.

"No it's not I should feel protective over you and want to be the only guy for you but it occurred to me that if I saw you with someone else I wouldn't be hurt.." Chan said seriously.

"I can't talk to you when you're like this! Fuck Chan you always over think everything!" I said taking my hand back.

"No listen to me.." he said. 

"I thought we could get away with this. But I look at Hyun and his girlfriend and i think that's not how I see us.." he said choking up.

The nerve of him to cry cause that's all I wanted to do. He's all I wanted but not like this.

"You're all I wanted Chan.." I said as I cried. He squeezed my hand.

"I know..." He said looking down disappointed in himself.

"I care about you. I do but I don't think I can do this. I feel like there's a standard for dating and what if Im not doing it right?" He said still crying. 

" We don't need to do it right. We can do it our way. Don't be scared of me. Don't be scared of us. You know everyone always warns you about times like this. The road feels long and you feel lost. But we can be lost together. We might get away with this.." I said to him reaching for his face shaking. I kissed his cheek with my quivering lips as a tear rolled down his face.

"Religion is in your lips." He said wiping his tears then mine.

"It's a false God but I'll still worship this love." Chan said leaning in to kiss me. 

We aren't perfect people but we might be the perfect people for each other. We just need to try and hold on through the tough times cause through the dark there is always daylight.

[modesty-delacroix]

When he helps you with something #15

Satan

Satan's POV:

I just finished a job in the Royal library and was walking out when my D.D.D. started to ring.

Satan: Huh?

I took it from my jeans' pocket and picked up, not looking at the ID of the caller.

Satan: Hello?

?? : Sa- *pant* Satan! Are you perhaps *pant* done with *glup** pant* your job?

Satan: Eh? MC?

MC: Ha-Hai!

Satan: Yes. Just left the library. Are you Ok, is everything alright? You sound like you're running?

MC: Y-yes.*wheeze* I'm ok! *panting* Just adrenaline rush!*More panting* Meet me in front of "Hocus Pocus" ASAP! *hangs up*

The fact that MC was panting, said adrenaline rush, that she was running, and ASAP, didn't lead me to think she is ok. I started running towards the shop so I can meet with her and see what's happening. I didn't want to think if something bad happened to her. I saw "Hocus Pocus" But I didn't saw her anywhere. I stopped in front of the shop to take my breath, but right then, I saw her running on the verge of passing out clutching her sweater and a lower demon chasing her. She tripped so I lunged forward to catch her in my arms and sent the demon a death glare enough to make them run to their mother.

Satan: MC? MC?!

MC: th-thanks.

She tried to stand up but her legs wobbled so I put her to sit on the near bench. She started to collect her breath but I noticed she still hugged her sweater and there was a little bump.

Satan: Explain, what happened?

MC: Well I was supposed to go shopping with Asmo, since I wanted new pair of shoes, but somewhere in the crowd I lost him. I tried to search for him but, when I looked at the street I saw this little guy-*shows a kitten hidden in her sweater*- about to get smashed buy a car so, I rushed and signaled the car to stop as I grabbed it. The car stopped on literally centimeters from me. When I was about to go away, the driver got out of the car and started yelling at me, for making him stop, since he was in a hurry, and now he was late, so he started chasing me. That's till I called you and you scared him away.

For a moment I was about to scold her but seeing the kitten and that the driver had overreacted, plus that the kitten couldn't see the danger since it was not even a full week of age. This probably meant that its mother had died, too.

MC: Can you help me take care of it?

Satan: However I much hate to say it, Lucifer won't allow it.

I couldn't resist this adorableness so I agreed.

MC: Please~! I'll take responsibility if he finds out! *she and the kitten give him THE EYES*

Satan: Fine... But then we should buy it some things of importance.

MC: I know, we need cat toilet, syringes, bowls for food and water, bed, collar and shampoo.

Satan: Where the syringes came from?

MC: I thought you would know, since the kitten is still a baby, it can't eat on his own, that's why we will feed him through syringes.

Satan: That's true. We better, then, get going to buy them, if you are feeling better, that is.

MC: Yes, I am. Let's go then!

She gently hugged the kitten to her chest as she stood up from the bench and petted its head, it was really adorable. Then we headed of through the shops to buy the need attributes.

<Time skip>

We bought everything we needed and headed towards the House of Lamentation.

Satan: How are gonna hide the kitten from Lucifer?

MC: I was thinking if we made it a hut in between your books so when Lucifer is there he won't be able to find it? If possible we can put small sound blocking spell so we are sure he won't hear of the kitty is a bit loud.

Satan: Sounds, possible but we will need to reorganize my books and this will take some time.

MC: I think we will manage. Another plus is that I heard, Lord Diavolo gave Lucifer bunch of paperwork so Lucifer will be busy in his study till late.

We carried on a conversation till we arrived in front of our house. We quietly made it to my room, then she left so she can take one of the small and empty laundry baskets, two bottles of warm water and small blanket so, we warm up the cat. A bit later we fed it and washed it in my bathroom. We carefully dried it and put it to sleep.

MC: Satan, can I stay her for the night? I want to look after the kitten. Which reminds me we haven't named it, yet.

Satan: Don't worry I'll look after it, you take some sleep. And we will think of a name later.

MC: Nu-uh! You should sleep, I'll look after it!

I sighed.

Satan: First change in your nightwear, then we will talk ok?

She nodded and left the room. While she was gone, I took a shower and got in my pajamas as well. When I went back in my room, I saw she was already there.

MC: Pfft...*giggles* Oh goodness! Hahahaha!

Satan: What?

MC: The towel on your- hahaha- it looks like you have put some cheap wig on! Hahahaha! Come here.

She went closer to me, rose on her toes and stared drying my hair with the towel.

MC: And~ done!

Satan: Thank, MC. But now my hair is messy.

MC: Not much different from your normal hairstyle, haha.

Satan: Oi!

MC: Pfft- Hahahahaha!

Satan: *blushing* Don't laugh or I'll-

The kitten: Nya~

We both turned to it. And both started laughing. MC took the the kitten out of the basket and snuggled it to her.

MC: How about if it a boy name it Satan, since you love cats?

I blushed, a lot, but then smirked.

Satan: Ok, but only if you accept, that if it a girl to be named MC!

MC: Wh-wh-wha?! N-n-n-no! It wouldn't suit it. How about we both meet in the middle, something we both like? M-m-maybe, if it's a girl, Lilith?

She was beet red and stuttering mess.

Satan: Sounds good, but if it's a boy?

MC: Maybe, Adler? Wasn't he the lead character and inspector from one of your favorite criminal novels "The mid-fall murders"?

Satan: You... you remembered that?

I was surprised how she remembered this, it was several months ago, when we went in the human world. In a way, it made me feel warm on the inside.

MC: *hums yes*. Even though you were in your brother's body, I still could see the excitement in your eyes, when talking about it. So I guess, it took my attention a bit and I remembered it.

I was speechless and fascinated by her. I know we already are a couple but, she never ceases to amaze me and make fall for her over and over again. I ran a hand through my blond locks and looked at her she was petting the kitten as if she was caress her child. 'Maybe one day... '

Satan: So, is it Lilith or is it Adler?

She carefully looked and turned to me.

MC: It's Adler!

I smiled at her excitement and gently took the kitten from her petting it too. He was purring loudly and I couldn't help but smile genuinely.

Satan: MC, you should go you sleep. It late?

MC: No, I will look after the kitty. You should sleep.

Satan: We have led this conversation already, MC. *grabs her by the waist over the bed* Come here, let's both sleep and if something happens we both will know ok?

I laid down on my bed, spooning MC, and laid Adler in front of her. As I snuggled into my girlfriend the kitten, somehow, came over to us too and curled up next to MC. I'm glad I accepted to help MC with the cat. I'm sure that it will help is get more deep and meaningful relationship. And who knows, might help us prepare a bit, for the day we might have kids.

Bonus:

MC's POV:

In the morning I woke up and saw Adler snuggling at my boyfriend. 'Adorable~!'. I took a picture of them and made it my home screen.

MC: Awwwwww~!

The END!

Left boys for the scenario:

Lucifer

Mammon

Leviathan

Asmodeus (not for long)

Beelzebub

Belphegor

Diavolo

Barbatos

Solomon

Simeon

Luke (only as a friend)

[klaumiel]

You are all I’ve got,Damien.//Chapter 1: Swipe Right

Dating apps, right… I wasn't sure at first when my best friend Gemma showed me Lovelink.

'Gemma, are you out of your mind? I don't use dating apps … this is crazy!' I saw her big blue eyes staring at me with her brow raised and half-smile on her face. She is my best friend for a reason; she knows me better than anyone.  She knows exactly what she’s doing. She sat back in the chair, crossed her arms, still looking at me right in the eyes.

‘Come on, Maya, there has to be a first time for everything. Shaun found Olivia on the dating app, right? And look at then now … I can see that you want to try, it’s been five months since Luke …’ she stopped herself. We don’t talk about Luke, my psycho ex, who nearly got me killed.

‘ This isn’t easy for me, and you know it. I’m not ready… Shaun was just lucky, plus he is a guy that’s different ‘ Shaun, my twin brother, my best friend, the male version of me, the bond that only twins can understand. He was lucky to find his girlfriend on the dating app five years ago. Maybe Gemma is right; maybe I should try and leave this shit with Luke behind.

‘ Just remember not every guy is Luke; he is an exception to the norm, he has mental issues, and I knew it the moment I saw him with you, lesson learned the hard way …If you’re not going to give Greg a chance, at least try the app. You don’t have to jump right into a relationship, just have some fun … go on a date or two, just simple conversations, maybe you will find some hottie with nice abs and big … personality’ This Girl has only one thing in her mind. I rolled my eyes. ‘Like Greg, for example, he is successful, romantic and hot as hell...and of course in love with you,’ She looked away with disappointment. Unfortunately, he is. I told him a million times that we could only be friends, but I feel horrible every time I do it because I know I’m hurting him.

‘OK, If I give it a try, will you get off me? Like, really give it a break… and stop putting ideas in Greg’s head, I can’t think of him any other way than just my boss and good friend … it’s just wrong ’ she tossed her long blonde hair to one side with a smirk on her face. That was exactly what she wanted to hear. I knew very well what was in her mind right now, all the things that she would do to him. She is a thirsty little devil. The whole office knows that she fancies the pants off him; she isn’t even trying to hide it ‘ Gemma, just go for it, he is more your type than mine... Let’s make a deal. I will try this stupid app, and you will make a move on Greg …deal?

‘Yes, deal!’ She clapped her hands with excitement, jumping from the chair. I swear this Girl is impossible, but I love her to death. ‘It is a sin for a woman like you to hide this beauty! Let’s give those black waves a bit of shine, and you are done’ She started to brush my hair with her long nails, took her phone out ‘ I hate you for this natural beauty! You don’t have to put even a gram of makeup to look stunning. I spend hours getting my face ready, and you just put on a moisturizer, mascara, and you are done’ She shook her head, always jealous, but always the one bringing the most of the male attention. ‘Come on, let’s move to the window. You need a good photo. But change the top; you need something to make those green eyes pop!’

I ran to the bedroom, put on my favourite olive blouse—a little bit of eyeliner for a bit of edge.

‘OK, here we go!’ I entered the living room where Gemma prepared everything,

‘Girl! You look hot!’

I should've guessed that this will take hours.

-----

The same afternoon I created my profile on Lovelink , took me ages to find the perfect description of myself but finally was done. OK, what do I do now? Ah, I guess I swipe.

Days of swiping left and right few guys caught my eye; Adam, photographer; the conversation was flowing, he seemed nice, but after a couple of days, I got bored. He was a typical hopeless romantic, too soft, not what I am looking for.

Next!

Albert Bishop, a sexy soldier. Damn, he was hot! We were texting and sexting for a couple of days. But we reached the point where he told me that he was getting deployed soon, and then it hit me. My childhood, not seeing my Dad for months, my Mum constantly struggling with his absence, never knowing if he comes back in one piece. I wasn’t ready for that.

We went for a nice dinner had a very nice time after. He nearly convinced me to give it a shot, but a few days later, he got deployed. I couldn’t make promises that I will wait for him even if I wanted to; god, I had hots for him. One night with him and he left me speechless but felt like just physical attraction, and this is not what I am looking for. Fuck sake! And what am I actually looking for? Do I even know?

Few days after Albert went offline, I was lying in bed, it was late, and I had enough. Enough of horny, ignorant, full of themselves blokes that only waste my time. What are they trying to archive with that? I was just about to put my phone down after swiping left on the guy that had a photo of the centaur who was lost in our world and needed a rescue. Seriously?! Is this some kind of joke?! I have enough of this shit for today!

But then I saw him. Standing against the wall with his arms crossed, deep blue eyes, light brown hair short on the sides, this sharp jawline that always makes my knees weak, a cocky gaze but not in an arrogant way, but that sexy and intriguing way. There was something soft in his look, something interesting. I stared at his picture for like felt forever, like I was hypnotized. Suddenly my phone got dark. I unlocked it as fast as could, looked once again, and opened his bio. I needed to know more about this guy. ‘’prison is giving me so much to think about, so I’m up for deep conversations ‘’ Excuse me, what?! Prison?!  I couldn’t believe it, of course, that’s my luck. The guy is hot, my type on paper but is locked up; this could only happen to me. But then I had another look at his picture. What would Gemma do? I instantly sent her a screenshot of his photo and bio.

‘Girl, what do I do?!’

I didn’t have to wait long for the answer.

‘Are you crazy?! Just look at him! What are you waiting for? Swipe right and find out what he is all about!  There must be more to this. He is just your type!’

And here it was, the swipe right that will change everything, a dream and a nightmare in one.

If I only knew that Damien Jones turns my life upside down the way he did. I would swipe right anyway thousand times over

[chenles-moonpies]

Mission, failed

• An nct mafia au, chapter 1

• 2k words

-----

"You go to china, find the boy, bring him back. Plain and simple."

"Plain and simple my ass. Does he know how many people are here!?" Winwin cursed as he looked around the corner from a fight they were observing. Taeyong, leader of his gang NCT, had sent him and Yuta on a mission to track down someone that fancied his eye. Normally Winwin did an exceptional job at spy work, but being paired with Yuta lately has had it’s consequences. "Also why am I with you?” Winwin complained,  “You don't speak a lick of Chinese and always mess up important details." The two had been paired together recently after Yuta begged a reluctant Taeyong to do so for weeks without consulting Winwin. He agreed eventually, “Fine. but I'm not sending you in the private jet when you go to China. Just Business class.” He had told Yuta.

"I'm offended. You know the rules! No solo missions." Yuta reminded his friend, "Unless you're in-"

"What's going on over there?" Cheers, or rather yells, were piercing the air around them. Citizens flocked to the middle of the bustling shopping roads where a fight broke out. Winwin and Yuta looked at each other before racing over to see as well. 

"I think that's the one." Yuta whispered. The crowd was rather large so it was a bit difficult to see, however Taeyongs words echoed loosely in his mind. "Short hair, gets in fights, Winwin I think we're done!" Yuta smiled brightly at the taller male. His response was a bit delayed. Could it really be him? Wasn't he a bit… small? 

"You IDIOTS!" Taeyong yelled, hands banging down on his desk. "I told you exactly what he looks like and what do you do? Bring me someone not any bigger than a Dream member!?" 

The man scoffed, "I'm not that small-?"

"Look, you want us to do well? Stop sending me with him!" Winwin fought back, pointing back to his partner. Yuta's face grew rather disgusted, if not disappointed. "What do you mean?" He questioned. "You always mess around and distract me." Winwin huffed. 

"Then stop getting distracted. It's not hard!" Taeyong bellowed. The room grew quiet until the tied up boy spoke, “You guys seem tense. Maybe you should take a bath or something, some tea might help, maybe some Vodka-”

“Shut up!” Taeyong shouted, cutting him off. The four men stood in Taeyong’s office for a moment, unsure of what to do. “I’m sorry, sir. Should we bring him back to China?” Winwin spoke sheepishly, suddenly aware that he should probably just comply with his boss.

“Are you insane or did you break into the drug stash on floor 15? We can’t let him go now. Leave him with me,” Taeyong sat down onto his chair and spun to face his back to the other three men, “I’ll talk to him.” Winwin and Yuta promptly left while bickering quietly. The door shut quietly with a click. “Ok, let's get to it,” Taeyong pulled up a pen and paper, “Name, date of birth, nationality, family and blood type please.” The man shuffled out of the ties restricting him, 

“People call me Ten. I was born 27th of February 1996, I have a mother and father and sister and I don’t know my blood type.”

“Whatever, we’ll just get someone in to test you. You didn't tell me your nationality.”

“Well i’m not Chinese as you thought.” 

“I didn't ask where you aren’t from, I asked where you are fr-”

“Why do you need to know, huh?” 

Taeyong stared at Ten with sharp fury. But that was only the exterior he showed. Inside he was shocked. No one had ever interrupted him like that. 16 members prior to Ten and it hasn't happened once. And that wasn't even the ones he had to “dismiss”

“Just tell me where you're from, pretty boy.”

Ten looked around at the pointings that hung around Taeyong’s office, “Is this you? Who painted it? Their brush technique is very… unique.”

“I Think you’d better sit down and tell me where you’re from before we have a problem.” Taeyong spoke through gritted teeth

“Thailand.”

“Was that so hard?” Taeyong pulled some papers from his desk, “Sit down, Ten.”

“Fine,” he responded, “But I'm sitting because I want to. Not because you told me to.” 

Taeyong slid a thin pile of papers across his desk and into the other man’s lap. 

“I’m not reading all that.” Ten said, picking up the pile.

“Don’t worry, I'll give you the summary.” He sat back in his chair, “This is the NCT X Building. Its headquarters for the NCT gang. I prefer the term mafia but… to each their own.”

“Oh, shit ok.” Ten pulled out a pair of glasses from a pocket in his silk shirt.

“Long story short my father founded the mafia and I took over after the incident. I never liked the way he ran it so i changed a lot of things. So if you ever think I'm treating you unfairly i’ll remind you he was incomprehensibly worse.”

“So you’re recruiting me?” 

“Call it what you want, you’re lucky I didn't just kill you.”

“Fair enough.” 

“You’ll get to meet the other members soon but essentially there are two sections: 127 and Dream. 127 handles korean affairs, mainly based in Seoul. Dream…” Taeyong paused to laugh, “Honestly it's more of an experiment than anything and the only reason I'm maintaining it is because they’re good kids and you can't exactly leave this organisations unless you leave in a hearse.”

Hang on, did you say ‘kids’?” 

“Yes, they're all pretty young. The youngest is 17 though so don't worry they aren’t too young. Anyway Dream only really handles very minor affairs but they've been doing well.”

“Jesus, you’re not gonna put me with them, are you?” 

Taeyong laughed, “You should be so lucky. You’ll probably get put into 127 but for now you’re a trainee. Sign here.”

Taeyong presented ten with a black piece of paper with a light grey print and a white signature line. “That's some shady shit, man.” Ten said,

“Fine,” Taeyong took the paper away, “this is a gang, you don't actually have to sign it,” He said, signing the name ‘Ten’ in neat cursive on the white line, “It’s just so the less intelligent members get a sense of security from the legitimacy of a contract. But you seem smart, so you don’t need that.” Ten laughed quietly in response,

“Now,” Taeyong whispered, pressing a black button on his desk, triggering the large mahogany doors to open, “Would you like to meet the others?"

"You said there's sixteen others, right? Why so many?" Ten questioned, following his new leader out of the room. "I have my reasons. This way."

The hallways were long, some narrow, Ten noted. It wasn't dark like he imagined gang buildings to be either. Most rooms had a large glass window to show into it but a few were kept a secret behind locked doors. They peaked his interest for sure, so the male made a mental note to explore once he has a bit more freedom. 

"In here is the main break room on the floor. Usually you can find Johnny, Jaehyun, or maybe even Jeno in here." 

"So many J names." Ten laughed. Taeyong couldn't disagree there. "Come in." He nodded his head as he opened the door. 

"Johnny, Jaehyun, meet Ten." Taeyong said, introducing him. Johnny nodded while Jaehyun presented his hand. "You must be the new recruit!" Another voice spoke out. A head popped over the edge of the old, slightly tattered, orange couch in the corner of the room. "Who are you?" Ten asked.

"Mark Lee. I'm in all the units. Well, was."

"What do you mean, aren't there only two?"

"He was in dream but graduated. He doesn't have an official position yet."

"That's why I'm in all of them. In Hopes of finding out." Mark said, pointing his thumb and finger at Ten like he held a real gun. "Enough chat. Anyone know where Doyoung went?" Taeyong asked. Everyone shook their heads no. 

"Maybe in U-" 

"Right, later then. I'm sure someone is in the cafeteria." Taeyong blurted, interrupting Mark. The leader walked out, the heavy door slamming behind them. "Mark, you idiot. No one can know about U so soon!" Jaehyun scolded, smacking the younger boy on the shoulder.

"What's U? I don't understand." Ten asked, his mind buzzing to know what secrets Taeyong was keeping. He'll be damned if he gives up trying to find out. "Who knows Honestly. Kid is so overworked I don't think he would know where his head was if it weren't attached." 

Taeyong re-entered, brushing something off his shirt, and was immediately bombarded with Ten’s questioning "What positions were they all?" Ten asked. 

“Does this guy ever shut up? Why does he want to know everything so bad…?"  Taeyong thought. "Johnny is the muscle. I count on him to keep people in check, sometimes to do the dirty work. Jaehyun is 127s Charmer."

"Charmer?"

"Every talented mafia needs someone to swoon others to get desired information." 

"That desperate huh?"

"You won't understand. Not yet."

Ten took in his sudden surroundings as he noticed Taeyong had been leading him down a couple flights of stairs. "Elevators?" He asked. Taeyong shook his head. "Not to the floor we're going to. Doyoung likes his privacy." 

After walking for what seemed like hours, Taeyong and Ten finally got to their desired floor. “I get this dude wants his privacy but this is ridiculous.” Ten complained, pretending to be out of breath. Taeyong let out a small laugh, “You know, Ten, I hope your sense of humour helps you get around obstacles and doesn't cause you problems.” 

“Well,I'd be lying if I said they hadn’t before.” The two approached a tall, oak door with a silver “DY” on it next to an eye hole. “Kind of weird that you guys have peep holes on bedrooms.” Ten said as he got on his tiptoes to look through it, “It’s blacked out!”

“Mhm. Everyone but me is supposed to have an eyehole to make sure no one’s up to any funny business but Doyoung has a tendency to disagree with that rule.”

“Ah.” 

Taeyong knocked three times on the door before opening it, “Doyoung, you’ve got company!” He yelled. A tall, slender man with dark wet hair entered from around the corner, “Taeyong, you might be everyone’s boss but you can't just come in here unannounced. I’m your right hand man not your slave,” he looked up from tying a black robe around himself, “I don’t just do whatever you want me to like the others d-” He paused, “What does he want?” 

Taeyong laughed, “Doyoung, you’ve never been the best at making people feel welcome.”

“This looks like a Jaehyun thing.”

“Huh?” Ten looked at Doyoung, puzzled,

“Is this another ‘date in exchange for information’ thing because I'm not doing that again, that's why we have Jaehyun.” Doyoung walked back around the corner.

“No, it’s not.” Taeyong yelled over to him, “And if it was, you’re not supposed to say that to the person.”

Doyoung re-entered from around the corner now fully dressed in a white dress shirt, a silk tie, and tailored slacks. “I have to go out.”

“I don’t remember you telling me that.” Taeyong responded.

“I don’t remember me needing to.” Doyoung pushed passed the two men.

“My name’s Ten.” Ten shouted as Doyoung started up the stairs,

“Thats nice.”

“He’s going to be rooming with you for now.” Taeyong yelled.

“What?!” Doyoung came back down the stairs.

“It’s only temporary while we make up a room for him. Everyone has a roommate and they have smaller rooms. You’re alone and you have a room that could fit at least five people.”

Doyoung stared angrily at Ten, “Fine. But if this lasts more than a week, You and I,” Doyoung looked Ten up and down, “We’re gonna have a problem.”

“I’ll see you around, Doyoung.” Ten responded with a smile. Doyoung stormed off leaving a tapping sound on the marble floor echoing throughout the halls.

Taeyong and Ten looked to each other as Ten laughed, “I like him.”

[spnbaby-67]

A love worth fighting for

A/N: guess what y'all? After two years of writer's block and no words coming to my stupid head, I am back! That's right, I am back with a story idea that I think and I hope you will like. I haven't been on here awhile so I dunno who all my tags are and let me know of you want to be tagged. Please keep in mind this is a fanfiction, not real life and anything that happens in this story is purely for enjoyment and not real. Let's assume for story sake that everyone is single. It is a rpf alternate universe. I respect there wives just as much as I do the boys, so please no hate on the wives. Also, keep in mind I don't have a beta so all mistakes are solely on me, if I have some, please be kind to tell me. No hate will be tolerated, I have had my full share of it lately. It has been two years since I wrote anything and I'm kind of excited about it and nervous at the same time. I don't own the photos I have collected for this story line so thank you to those who post them. This is a Supernatural RPF and OFC and not a reader insert this time around. Thank you jen @grnsorrow helping me decide the aesthetic for this and helping me pick out photos to use. On a side note, please don't copy and post on other sights without my consent please thanks ... Ok let's say we post.

Warnings : cussing (each chapter will have a list as it grows.

Pairing Jensen Ackles and Samantha McKenzie, (none in particular I pictured)

I was currently sitting  on the floor at the opryland hotel, i couldn't even muster up the want to move. I was exhausted to the point of nearly breaking down and let the water works take over. It had been an uneventful day, one that I will never ever forget, and the day that changed my life. 

Let me back up a bit, so you can get the full story.  Hi, my name is Samantha McKenzie. I am a 23 year old, and well now unemployed.  I am from Texas, Houston to be exact, and my life is, or has not been a great life full of magic and unicorns dreams. I have had my fair share of ups and downs since I can remember, and I will gladly take the ups over the downs any day. I know those come in spurts, and when I do get them, I take em by the horns and savor the moment.  Only because I never know when it will happen again. 

My parents both have passed on when I was younger and I have no brothers or sisters, which at times I'm thankful for, but at other times I miss the sibling connections that I see with most families. I was abused when I was a kid, from the time I was 5 to about 15 when I discovered that I could escape the house and not return. 

Actually, back up. When my mom helped us escape the house that we lived with my father who was mentally, physically and emotionally abusive. He and my mom would always yell and fight, cursing words at each other, then he would make it out to be my mom's fault when he knew he started the whole thing.  They never knew this, but I would sneak out of my room through my upstairs window and sit on the roof side that was attached giving me space to sit and stare up at the stars. It cleared my head, and if I shut the window just a bit, but enough to reopen it and go back in later, I could drown out their arguing.  But sitting out there even on nights they didn't argue or yell, I would slip into my own world and imagine me someplace safe and sound. I am a huge reader of books, and I would read a period of time back to the renaissance era and imagine myself there, experiencing the costumes, and conflicts they had when a problem arose. Or I would sit there and dream of my own future if what I would be when I grew up, which as I sit here now laugh back at my thoughts because it didn't end up the way I wanted it to.  Life is funny, and it's strange how you dream up how you want it to be, even going far as mapping out a timeline and have it all turned upside in a snap, because if one mistake.  

One stupid fucked up mistake that sent my ass to jail for nearly being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I sighed thinking back that fateful night, if I had stayed home just 15 minutes longer, I would have been ok. But no, I had to have some ice cream because I was out and my boyfriend dumped me for someone else, only because I would not have sex with him. Hell I was 17 years old, I wasn't sure of what I wanted in life at that time, but I could tell you, it wasn't sex. So, what the hell do I do? I grabbed my purse and keys to the house I was sharing with a friend and headed to the store down the street to get ice cream. 

For the love of God, I wished I would have stayed home. Walking in, I knew, no i felt something off and i should have turned away and backed out never going in, but at the same time my head was saying get ice cream.  I was hurting and my heart was not connecting with my head, so my head over ruled that decision and I went in.  

Walking to where I knew the ocean cream was, I saw an old friend of mine and they were standing by the pharmacy side where they had rows of  condoms and other items related to sex and such. I saw her literally put something in her purse and grab other things in her hand.  

"Seriously?" I whispered to myself as I continued to watch her.  My head was saying go stop her, and my heart was saying no don't get involved. But remember my head was not connecting with my heart so I walked over to her.

"Sarah," I tapped her shoulder from behind her and she must have jumped a mile high when I did. 

"What the fuck, Sam?" She said as she turned around to face me, "Trying to give someone a damn heart attack or something?"

"Or something, what the hell are you doing?"  I looked at her like a mother would when they know you have done something wrong. 

She pulled me over to the side and placed her hand on my shoulder, "Jake and I had sex two weeks ago, and I think I'm pregnant.  I am late with my period, and my parents are going to kill me." Her breathing was staggered and erratic. 

I saw her swallow a couple of times like she was trying to swallow a lump that had formed in her throat.  I know the feeling of getting caught, been one to many times myself in her position and its one i don't want to repeat. I have gotten lucky at times and none had placed charges on me, but when your a runaway and trying to live with what you have, you do what you need to, to survive. 

"Just think about what your doing Sarah,"  she looked at me confusingly. I sighed, "I saw you out stuff in your purse. If you need money, I can help you."  I was doing everything I can to help her make the right decision. 

She looked at me, then put everything back on the shelf. "You don't know what it's like to be in my shoes, Sam. Just forget it, stay away from me. Don't bother helping me, my life is over anyways." She gave me a look then left the store. 

What the fuck just happened? 

I shrugged my head out of the state it was in and concentrated on getting my ice cream. I really needed it now, and fuck, that really pissed me off. See if I ever help anyone again.  I proceeded to the frozen section and grabbed my ice cream and a few other things, then went to check out. Little did I know, my life changed that night for the worse because I wanted to help a friend.  Shaking my head. Why do I always fuck up when things were going good? God save me. 

@deans-baby-momma @mirandaaustin93

[justdani14]

“Now no more talking ok?”

This is a prequel to lovehacks book one. Its something I've been mulling over in my mind for a while now. I'm a huge Dani and Mark shipper I love the best friends turned more story. This is a combination of clues that I've gathered from the books with my own twist.

Description: In the books you see a scene of Dani and Mark before they graduate he walks her to her dorm. They talk about how she's leaving, that he should come visit, they almost kiss but they get interrupted. All I keep thinking is what if he did go to New York and they did end up kissing and maybe more. It's in Marks pov

“No more talking ok” A couple weeks after graduation I find myself in my car finally entering the city of New York. It's been a long few days traveling cross country but I'm finally here. I follow the gps directions to her apartment. I've been driving for 10 hours today and I'm dying to get out of this car. The traffic is insane here, how do people drive like this? Duh Collins they use the subway mostly. Why am I even thinking about this? Is it nerves? It's just Dani she's my best friend why should I be nervous? We've known each other for years and spend countless days together and even some nights in each other's beds. Sleeping of course there's never been anything between us. I sound a little bitter about it even to myself. Ever since the night before graduation I’ve let more and more of those thoughts come. I use to be better at keeping them away. We almost kissed though and that was enough to break a dam in me. The dam that kept at bay the feeling I have for her. Feeling that I shouldn’t have for my best friend. Maybe I'm nervous because we're in New York away from everything we know and everything we're suppose to be.

Finally I reach her apartment and I send her a text that I'm here. I start collecting my bags and I scan the crowds for a familiar face. I catch sight of her and she takes my breath away. It's not like I forgot that she was beautiful but there's something about seeing her in person again. I can't even move, I'm sure I look like an idiot but I don't care. She finally gets to me and she wraps me in a huge hug. I hold her and breathe in the sent of her perfume. As we let go and I feel a small twinge of regret, get a hold of yourself Mark you have a whole week to hug her. "Come on Collins we don't have all day" she says as she grabs my hand and pulls me away. She leads me to her apartment building and I'm still in shock that I'm looking at my best friend right now. We make it to her apartment and she apologizes for it being so small but says her roommate Rylie won't be home all week. We order pizza and decide to stay in to catch up and I'm grateful it helps me feel more like myself around her. She tells me two days after I leave she'll start her new job and you should see how her face lights up when she talks about it. It makes me want to be excited about it but a part of me still aches that her dreams took her so far away. Why leave to New York? It was selfish but the question had lingered there for months. Her smiles makes me want to smile though and I do because I should be supportive.

The next few days we spend at museums and doing touristy things. We go to Central Park and visit Coney Island and it's the most fun I have had in a long time. After a couple days I confess to her that Amy and I are taking sometime apart. We’re not the same people we were when we first meet. Things have been hard with us and Amy wasn't to happy about me coming to New York to see Dani. She’s always made a big fuss about Dani and me being so close. She thinks it’s strange I'm using my savings to do this. Its worth it right? Yes Dani is worth it she always has and always will be. She frowns when I tell her about Amy. “Oh Mark I’m so sorry I know how much you wanted it work.” she says softly not looking into my eyes. She’s looking at her feet bitting her lip. Huh most be try not to say something but what? “What is it?” I ask her curious. Sometimes even I have a hard time figuring what’s going on in her head. She sighs “I just worry that you want it too much like your forcing it, that maybe it shouldn’t be so hard?” she looks at me expectantly. “I want you to be happy I need you to be happy best friend code one oh one.” she says with wide eyes. Well shit I need that too but I say “I think that too it shouldn’t be and I need you happy too why do you think I’m here?!” I make the goofiest face I can muster at her. She giggles “Ok Collins race you to the cotton candy stand!”. Thats just how it is for us, its easy sometimes we communicate without words. I don’t need to tell her in so many words that bummed about Amy but also a bit relieved. She already knows she just does because she always been there. She knows when to give me an out and am in. I don't know what I'm going to do without her.

Before I know it the night before I'm leaving comes and it's really bumming us out. We decide to have a couple drinks and that turns into a couple more. Before we know it we're stumbling back to her apartment. Its late but we fall into a fit of laughter on the her bed. The alcohol is weakening my resolve because all I can think about is kissing her. She’s just so beautiful when she laughs. I can't help myself I push a strand of hair out of her face. She stares at me with a look in her eye I saw right after graduation when we almost kissed. Would it ruin our friendship if we did? Would it make it better? All those doubts are gone though it’s just me and Dani. “Mark?" she says breathless. Is it from the laughter or something more? “Dani?" I say just as breathless. She moves closer to me and I don't dare move I don't want to break the spell. Before I know it she's holding my face in her hands as she bits her lip. She does that when she wants to say something but doesn't know how. I want to tell her that I need her to kiss me more then air right now. I want to say something to put her at ease tell her she can say anything to me. Before I can say anything she kisses me.

It's better then I ever could imagine it could be. It goes from tentative and gentle to passionate. Like all those years of pent up emotions bursting at the seams. The admiration, familiarity and love. I crush her close to me hoping its not a dream. I kiss her with everything I have hoping she can feel it all through the kisses. I run my fingers through her hair and she starts trying to take my shirt off. "Wait wait wait are you drunk?" I ask her breathless. Terrified that she is and she doesn’t really want this that I crossed a line. She stares at me like she’s staring into my soul. Her lips slightly swollen from kissing and her hair messy from me running my fingers through it. Her eyes are so wide oh no what have I done? “No do you want me to recite the alphabet back wards for you?” she laughs. “No that’s ok.” I say laughing. Relief washes over for so many reasons. I didn’t take advantage of her and it’s not just me that wants this? She smiles at me the smile that can bring a grown man to his knees. “Mark I need you I’m not drunk but I need you.” she says it in one breath. She looks so vulnerable I know how much it took to say that to someone. She doesn’t like to need anyone for anything. So I nod and say “I need you too maybe I always have.” then I clamp my mouth shut. I say no more not trusting my own voice afraid I’ll say too much and scare her away. “Now no more talking ok?" she says nodding. I nod too and and that our lips collide and we resume where we left off.

It’s like a switch goes off in my head. That insecure voice that tells me to be smart, to think things through shuts up. It’s just Dani its all Dani. The sent of her skin, the sound of her voice and the feel of her body. I methodically take off her clothes. Im finding it hard to concentrate when she bitting my lip. I moan her name as she kissing her way down. I eventually pull her up by her arm pleadingly I need all of her not just her mouth. I flip her on her back now it my turn. I need to kiss every inch of her and I do until she’s moaning and screaming my name. My name never sounded so good. I lay down next to her trying to catch our ragged breathes. She gently pushes me flat on my back and climbs on top of me. We share more delicious kisses as our hips move in perfect unison. The moans continue into the night until were breathing each others name through ragged breaths. We stay in this perfect bubble all night. We doze off and wake after a few hours to start all over again. After we’re done again we spend the rest of night in each others arms. It’s by far the best night of my life.

The next morning though reality starts to sink in. She’s not next to me when I wake up so I get up and look for her. I find her in the kitchen but before I can say anything to her she blurts out "I'm sorry." I'm sorry is not the words you want to hear after you sleep with a girl. I study her face she's staring at me and I'm thinking back on last night. Unless she was faking it then it was good for her so what was it why was she sorry? Then I see her bite her lip and instantly I know. With those two words her walls were up again. The walls that kept her safe from getting too close to any boyfriend in college. We all have our patterns and this was her's. In order to protect her self she puts walls up. I sigh instantly more tired then I’ve ever felt. Time to say what I know she needed to hear in order for her to live out her dream and salvage our friendship. “I'm sorry.” I say feeling defeated. Was I actually sorry though? No not in the least bit what had happened was amazing. It was more then sex it was an extension of the connection we already share. She interrupts my inner monologue. "Mark please stop I started it you didn't do anything wrong." she said looking so sad. "Dani let's just forget about it ok?" Urgh I feel sick just saying it how could I ever forget about it? "Your right it was just a one time thing." she says with sad little smile. It’s working were going to be ok if I could just force a smile and make her laugh. "Well it was more then one time but sure a one time thing." I force the best smile I can and wait to see if it works. "Omg Mark stop!" She starts laughing and even though I hate it I laugh too. Huh it worked I must be better at pushing my feelings down then I thought. Maybe I’ve been doing it for longer then I was willing to admit. If I could keep it together for a little bit longer we might be ok.

The rest of the morning goes by in a blur of packing and before I know it it's time for me to go. She walks me outside and says "I guess this is your stop." Was it my imagination or did she sound wistful. I study her closely she's looking at me with a that sad smile again. Was she sad because I was leave or something else? I didn't have the courage to ask. I was too afraid of the answer or of ruining our friendship. We seemed to find a way to keep it together but it was fragile, breakable and I wasn't going to break it I refuse. The hustle and bustle of people coming and going on the street is distracting this isn't how I wanted to say goodbye. Suddenly I feels her grab my hand and lead me to a quiet alley. We stare at each other for a moment and I realizes that we are still holding hands so I pulls her into a hug. I feel her starting to cry against my chest and with all the strength I have left I forces myself not to. I blink away the tears I have to. We stay like that for a long time, until she's all cried out. She finally looks up at me a little puffy eyed but still beautiful. How could she still look so beautiful? Its like a knife though my heart. "What is it do I look like a hot mess?" she asks me. “Of course not you always look beautiful.” I tell her. I fell so tired a part of me just wanted to get in my car so I could stop pretending. She's still staring at me and blushing a little from my comment. "You better go, you don't want to get behind schedule.” she says. No we wouldn't want that would we? All I could muster was "right I guess this is goodbye." I say wistfully. Who was wistful now, I pushed the thought out of my head and hug her. Trying to commit to memory everything about her. “Take care of yourself” I say in a whisper. I kiss the top of her head, look at her one last time and start walking away. She stops me by grabbing my hand. "Wait Mark I love you, your my best friend and I'm going to miss you so much it's killing me.” she says it all in one breath. Like she was afraid that if she didn't say it fast she'd never get it out. So I hug her again and say "I love you too and I hate this so much." “Ok go before I start crying again!" she says with a half hearted laugh. I laughed too the tension gone for a moment, her laugh had a way of doing that. "Text me along the way and when you get there." she pleads. "I will." I say and that’s it I walk away and don't look back because if I do I know I would never leave. I put the bags in the car and go before I do something stupid.

I let the empty feeling wash over me, I welcome it. I had made it I was where I was suppose to be and so was she. She'd start her new job in a couple days and I’d start mine in a week. For now at least I would let myself feel bad. Id let regret, anger and sadness wash over me like waves. I let the tears come as I stare out the windshield silently, the words I never said to her choke me. I text her along the way give her updates. I'm still trying to hang on to what we had before we slept together. Four long days later I'm finally in San Francisco. I just moved into my new apartment a couple days before the road trip. I didn't know Cole that well yet but he seemed like an ok guy. I didn't know he'd become one of the best friends I’ve ever had.

“I'm home :)” I text her.

What more is there to say she was probably sleeping. My phone starts ringing and my heart jumps but it's not Dani it's Amy. What could she want? She calls again and again by the time I reach my apartment. There front and center is Amy and she runs to me and hugs me. I stiffness a little. Her arms and her should be comforting but there not. I push the feeling down. I puts down my bags and hugs her trying not to think of Dani. "Marky I missed you! Can we get back together please?” she asks me.

That was three years ago and since then I've found my calling at Zabble, made some amazing friends and rededicated myself to my relationship with Amy. I don’t know if part of it was that she'd been right about me and Dani all along. She never thought we could be just friends and she was right we couldn’t. Or maybe I just desperately wanted things to go back to the way they were. My friends say I'm a pushover, they'd call Amy names but they don’t get it. Sure Amy and I had changed since college but she cares for me. A part of me was still in love with who she use to be and maybe can be again. Why am I here at 1 o clock in the morning mulling everything over? Remembering New York with Dani and San Francisco with Amy. It comes in flashes the feel of Dani’s legs wrapped around my waist. The way she’d bite her lip and her infectious smile. Amy’s arms around me like she’s hanging on for dear life. Amy’s laugh and how her eyes light up when she talks about work.

I thought those feelings for Dani had faded it took time but they did. Or maybe I just hoped they had. It took a while to forget and in that time I kept Amy at bay telling her I needed to think. It wasn’t a lie but eventually I gave in to her. I needed to feel something that wasn’t Dani and Amy gave me that. Time made the memories fade but now Dani is here in San Francisco. She texted me a few days ago saying she was coming home. Home like it was where she should have been all along. Maybe things would have been different between us if she had never left. What is wrong with me?

Tomorrow was going to be a very long day if I don’t try to sleep. I roll over and think of New York again. The Statue of Liberty, cotton candy, holding her hand on a crowded street. The memories are faded around the edges but there still in my mind. I though I was free of them I spend less and less nights thinking about them. Until now that is, they come flooding back torturing me with guilt and hope. I roll over again as if that would knock the memory out of my mind. She had been such a big part of my life for so many years I reason. How could she not be in my thoughts? It means nothing. We did try to hang on to us and we succeeded for a while. It just didn’t work out in the end. She had some doctor boyfriend in New York and I was back together with Amy. We only randomly texted or emailed now. This last year has been more and more infrequent. We had our own lives now. So why am I feeling like this from just the thought of her being back in San Francisco?

[kavernathy]

my ex-coworker's now-ex wife decided he and i were having an affair because i called him "dude"

story time

i work at a non-profit and in late summer of '21 we hired this guy to run one of our programs. he was pretty good at it. when he first started, he was really excited at the prospect of being able to serve his community and apply his skills to the job. we were thrilled to have him, as the program he ran was pretty intense and the rest of us didn't have the bandwidth to handle it on top of our own workloads.

one day he brings his wife in to show her the office and meet all of us. we'll call her jenny. both this coworker and jenny are in their 50's, i am in my 30's. jenny seemed really nice, and wanted to volunteer for our organization. like any non-profit that relies on volunteer support, we happily trained her and put her out in the field. by all accounts she did a great job and the clients appreciated her service.

my coworker, we'll call her elaine, mentioned to me that jenny kept trying to friend her on her socials. not totally out of bounds, but a bit strange. then my office manager, who i'll refer to as sophie, told me that jenny kept inviting her out for a drink but would either cancel at the last minute or ghost her. huh.

in october, i get married to my husband, who i am madly in love with and have been with for 9 years.

the new year rolls around and my coworker starts working from home. i'm told this is because jenny is a nurse and he's at high risk of getting covid-19, didn't want to bring it to the office. this made sense at the time, ofc.

finally in late january of '22, i get a friend request on one of my socials from jenny. i message her and let her know that i keep my work life and my personal life separate, and i don't friend people from work. that is a very strict boundary of mine that i drew because my past experiences have informed me that it's just a simpler way to live.

now i know one can't really parse tone out in text messages, especially if you don't really know the other person, but she sent a creepy ass response that was like, "oh tee-hee silly, i don't actually work with you!"

i responded that this was a boundary of mine and i politely asked her to respect it.

her reply to that was something to the effect of, "haha ok [my coworker] and i don't really make work friends either, and remember, no nicknames!" the fuck? i thought. nicknames? i realized she meant when i call him "bud" or "dude". then it hit me - this absolute dork thinks i am having an affair with her husband and she is trying to spy on me to catch me. lmao. ohhhh nooo.

i am insulted for several reasons. one, i deeply love my husband and we are monogamous. two, i have... higher standards than that. three, bitch are you serious? because i called him "bud" and "dude"? i tried to play it cool. i told her i didn't know what she was talking about, that this seemed to be something between her and her husband, and i didn't want to be anywhere near it. i blocked her. fuck all that.

thing is, my coworker and i occasionally share projects and our office is not set up for us to efficiently do our work remotely. and shortly after jenny being weird at me over socials i realized that my coworker was working from home as a performative act to reassure jenny that he wasn't having an affair with me, and it was my boss's idea.

this is a stupid move for a couple reasons. probably most obvious is that it makes getting work done difficult. but really, what looks guiltier than completely upending your work life to accommodate your spouse's wild notions? it's practically a signed confession, the way i see it.

i called my boss and my boss's boss and demanded that they do better than this. that this was fucking absurd. we don't live in a soap opera, y'all. i assure you, i am a deliriously happy newlywed and devoted to my husband. the most i do in my free time is eat cheesy popcorn and play video games. my coworker was back in the office the following week.

however, his mental health was clearly suffering. he lost a ton of weight and was ghostly pale. he was like that for months.

in the end, he divorced her. i heard through the grapevine that jenny had totally lost it. turns out she hid a significant mental illness from my coworker and decided to stop taking her meds after she """""found out about the affair"""""". when they got divorced, jenny took my coworker's dogs in the settlement.

he later quit, bought a van, a plot of land in hawaii, and fled mainland usa just to get away from her.

i had to delete my linkedin profile and lock all the rest of my socials up tight, as there was evidence of her watching me. she still could be, for all i know.

all because i called her husband "dude".