Tumgik
#ok bye i love them
polar-equinoxx · 2 years
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:3
Cross posted on ao3 <3
Angst, grief/mourning, arguing, resolved argument, emotional hurt/comfort
1.9k words
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Even Ice Melts☁️
third person
“You’re dangerous, Mitchell,”
Maverick exhales, but doesn’t look around to Iceman.
“You may not like the guys flying with you, and they may not like you, but what kind of excuse is that for what you just pulled up there?”
“I knew I could take the shot,”
“And leave Hollywood struggling in your dust like that?”
“Why are you doing this?” Maverick turns around to face him.
“What?”
“Pinning the blame on me?”
“Pinning the blame-?! It was your doing,”
“So why are you defending Hollywood?”
Ice looks incredulously at him. “Because that could have gone so wrong up there,”
“You don’t think I know that?” Maverick steps into Ice’s personal space, closing the gap between them.
“Of course I do,” Ice lifts his head up.
“Then why are you making an argument about this if your so sure it’s my fault?”
“Because I know it’s your fault,” his voice was cold.
Maverick was glad it was just them both in the locker room when Ice says the next thing.
“You don’t know that you’re dangerous. You don’t know how much trouble that could mean for anyone else, and you don’t care about the consequences for any of your actions because you never had anyone to teach you about them,” he says.
Maverick’s frown deepens. “Don’t bring that up,”
“Being dangerous up there only leads to crashing and burning on the way down. You’d know that if your surname wasn’t so infected by tragedy,” Ice had hit a nerve, and he was so full with concern for Hollywood and Wolfman that he didn’t care that he was pressing down on it harder than he should.
“It is not infected by tragedy,”
“It is, that’s why nobody likes you,”
Maverick goes silent, the anger inside him making his blood boil, and he didn’t want to escalate the tension in the room more by rising to Ice’s bait.
“No one will be there to mourn you when you crash and burn,” Ice hisses slowly.
Oh how he hated Iceman.
“Then let us hope I crash and burn tomorrow,” he says harshly, still somehow maintaining eye-contact with him.
Ice’s gaze was cold, freezing in fact, as he watches Maverick turn around and leave without another word.
~~~
Then the next day does come. Hop 31, and it would cast a shadow on Maverick for the rest of his life.
It all happened so fast, almost too fast for Maverick to comprehend. But he’s all too aware of the blood on his hands.
The blood that stains his flightsuit.
The blood that felt so hot compared to the salt of the sea water.
The blood of Goose’s that was all his fault.
He was in the water, holding him up, he doesn’t know how long for, but it was cold. It was so cold it seeped into his bones and felt like it was tainting the edges of his soul. Goose was gone, and it was all his fault. It was exactly how Ice had said.
The day before he was stupid, doing some risky manoeuvre that almost pushed Hollywood and Wolfman into a spin, and even though it didn’t, it gave them all a scare. And then now, today, he was too impatient, like he always is, he went to get the shot but at the cost of a flat-spin and the sickening noise of Goose’s head meeting the canopy roof as it failed to come off.
Maverick called for him to pull the handle because he couldn’t reach it, the gravity that shouldn’t have been there pushing him forward, his hands trapped under him.
And now he really didn’t have anyone to mourn him, since he’d murdered the only person who was his family.
He didn’t know if he was still in the water or in the stuffy helicopter. It didn’t make a difference.
Maverick felt sick, so sick, so numb and cold yet so hyper-aware of everything. The whir of the rotors, the blood on his hands that was still there, despite having his hands cleaned of it, the way his feet were soaked in his boots, the way the cupboard attached to the wall was ever so slightly open. The way a paramedic was trying to talk to him. The way the door was closed between him and Goose’s body. The way he could see his cracked red and white striped helmet through the slit of glass in the door.
~~~
That night he was sat on the bed in the hospital, and he didn’t know what he felt. He was cold, colder than he’d ever been in his life, and he regrets taking those two cold showers in a row; the night before and in the morning. The t-shirt he had on was too thin to do anything to his shivers, which were escalating each minute as the temperature outside dropped and as rain lightly pattered on the window.
It was July, late July at that, why was he so cold?
But he knows. It’s because the sea seeped into him. It’s because he killed Goose. It’s because he was alone.
But soon, way too soon, his thoughts switch on to that blue-eyed blond-haired pilot who he had that argument with yesterday. Iceman Kazansky. But despite the argument, despite the hard stares he’d give him, despite his frozen personality, he was the only person Maverick wanted to see. He knew that was going to be impossible unless he left the hospital and went to his house. Which he didn’t really want to do. Just by looking at the drizzle outside the window, Maverick knew it would only cool him down more.
But then again, he felt like a slave to the heart-wrenching feeling inside of him. He knew it would come for him like it came for him after his mother’s death, but he didn’t realise it would hit him this badly.
The grief felt like chest-ache and heartburn and seasickness all at the same time. It felt like his chest had been crushed. It felt like he couldn’t breathe.
He wanted to go to Ice. He didn’t know why, or even what he’d do if he did go to see him, he just knew he needed somebody. Somebody to hold him, somebody to sit next to, and somebody was better than nobody.
He didn’t care if they were frozen.
He was colder.
Iceman stands at his door, staring at the handle of it.
Go. Don’t go. Go.
Don’t go, he hates you.
Go, he needs you.
Don’t go. Go.
He doesn’t know what to do.
Ice sighs heavily, frowning at the door, wishing for his mind to say one thought to him. Wishing he could make a decision on whether to go and see Maverick at the hospital or stay at his house. Maverick hated him, he knows that.
Ice wishes he didn’t say what he did to him. He wants to turn back the clock and never even start to talk to him, never even have had the thought that said ‘tell him what he’s done’.
But Maverick is in the hospital, in a room, all by himself. He can’t even begin to imagine what was going through his head, what he was thinking; but Ice wanted to go and see him. To at least try to mend his mistake, to try to alleviate some of the pain Maverick must be feeling.
But Maverick hated him. He’d made sure of that when he’d said he would have no one to mourn him. When he’d said he had no one to teach him how dangerously he was behaving. When he had said all of the things he had.
He just wanted to fix what he’d said.
And suddenly they were face to face, the orange light from a lamppost above them illuminating the rain coming down on them.
Iceman stands there in front of him, and Maverick can hardly see his facial expression in the dark and through the rain, but most of all he doesn’t know why he’s stood there.
“I know what you said,” Maverick says quietly, clenching his jaw, trying to forget about the void inside of him and the rain dripping off his chin.
Iceman just looks at him, the rain making his hair shiny and dull at the same time in the light from the streetlamp.
“And now its true but- I just don’t know what to do,” Maverick stops himself there, if he let the words he wanted to say flow there’d be no stopping them.
Then Ice does something he wouldn’t have ever expected him to do; he steps closer to him and slides his arms around him.
Maverick was suddenly encased in the taller pilot’s embrace, and he suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe, or move, or do anything.
“Breathe,” Ice says quietly.
It wasn’t an order, but Maverick does so anyway, releasing the breath he’d been holding and sucking one in again, squeezing shut his eyes.
It’s only when his head meets Ice’s shoulder that the last lock on his barely-held-together floodgates breaks.
And he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about his reputation as the fearless pilot. He doesn’t care about the tears streaming down his cheeks and his sobs that he tries to muffle in Ice’s shoulder.
“Mav I’m so sorry,” Ice whispers against his head. The grief was choking him, so all Ice can do is hold him as tight as he possibly can, and pretend he wasn’t crying himself. The rain helps with that. He didn’t feel at all like his callsign and the personality it came with. He felt like Tom, like the kid who was nerdy and studied too hard and felt too many things until he’d made up Iceman to hide behind.
“Pete, you’re freezing,” He says once Maverick had stopped crying so hard against him. The shorter pilot was shivering, clenching his jaw to stop his teeth from chattering.
He doesn’t say anything.
“Lets go back,”
“D- don’t leave,” he stutters. He’d only sink back into the gaping hole in his chest if Ice left him now.
“I’m not going to, no way, not tonight,” Ice murmurs.
Maverick keeps himself as close as he can to him as they walk slowly back to the hospital and he leads Ice back to the room he was supposed to be in.
And he keeps himself there as Ice pulls a grey-blue, slightly scratchy woollen blanket around them both as he sits back on the bed with him. His shivers were diminishing the longer he pressed himself up against Ice, but he still felt cold inside.
“Maverick, I’m sorry,” he says after a few moments. “Yesterday, I.. I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t mean any of it,”
Maverick stares at his hand for a few seconds before he takes it. “I know,” his voice was gravelly as he pushes his fingers through Ice’s.
Ice looks at their hands, then at Maverick, leaning on his shoulder, looking so devoid of his normal aura of bright sunshine. “It’s not your fault,”
Maverick sniffs and keeps his eyes on their hands, half not knowing how to respond and half being too drained to do so.
Ice wasn’t expecting him to reply. He stays there with him the whole night, never once letting go, especially when the drizzle outside brings thunder and distant flashes of lightning. Or maybe Maverick was holding him at that point because he felt him tense up and flinch at the thunder.
Either way, maybe Iceman Kazansky wasn’t as cold as he seemed to be.
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erm hallo 👋👋
have some doodlez !!
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kitamars · 5 months
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lovey dovey (alt ver of the first one under the cut!)
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constarlations · 4 months
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Pokémon Timeskip Series: Battle Legend Lyra 🍒🍂
One of the two Johto-Kanto champions, Lyra is best known for her bright and cheery down to earth attitude both on and off the battle field! She likes to travel ALOT you can find her in coffee shops in Kalos or surfing the waves in Alola or just about anywhere with her Fiancé, Silver by her side and never turns down a challenge to a good battle (even if she accidentally sweeps the other person’s team whoops) Her favorite drink is boba tea, her birthday is March 4th, she has a crippling gatcha AND otome addiction, and is 165 cm tall but that’s all for text no one is gonna read aaaaaa-
Drew out my timeskip Lyra due to me wanting to update a few things in regards to her design (can’t believe it’s been almost two years since my timeskip designs HELP) but I hope you enjoy!
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mildhaj · 2 months
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my heart forever yours
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collophora · 4 months
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Fics rec of the week, and especially if you like well-written Wrecker, is the entire work of @electrikworm on AO3 In order:
The Batch have a terrible day
Human Shield
A peaceful moment
(But go read the others too)
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the-mighty-e · 5 months
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Do you think that we’re soulmates in every universe? (Digital)
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WHEW… REDID THIS ON MY IPAD BECAUSE I WAS VERY PROUD OF HOW IT CAME OUT
Putting the panels separated for a better quality, but if you want, here are the full images :)
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Edit: lmao I'm killing twitter with this one
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deoidesign · 13 days
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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schyrosoreffs · 1 year
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some aphmau art from like twt uhhhh O(_
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cthulhum · 6 months
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and dean winchester thought he was unlovable and didnt deserve happiness he hated himself and thought eveyone would eventually leave him and then a literal fucking angel fell in love with him. like loved him more than anything else in the world.
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xxplastic-cubexx · 22 days
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chat if i may speak
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spamgyu · 9 months
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BACKBURNER // PART 3
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DESCRIPTION: She had grown tired of being on his back burner, the person that he had kept warm until he gotten the girl he has had his eyes set on for years... And with a little help from her friend, maybe... just maybe she'll finally be the first choice. PAIRING: Seungcheol x Reader | Mingyu x Reader GENRE: Angst & Fluff PART 2 | SERIES MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST
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She wasn't in deep slumber, but she wasn't awake either.
Y/n had allowed the soft sounds of the waves crashing on the shore and indistinct conversations around her lull her into a light sleep – only to be awoken by the sudden lack of warmth that kissed her skin and droplets of water hitting her bare stomach.
Squinting her eyes open, she was greeted by a drenched Mingyu standing above her – a smile on his face. "Hey Stink, wanna get lunch?" He sat on her towel, feeling his soaked swim trunks cool her thigh.
It has been a while since she had eaten and the thought a bowl ahi poke did sound nice. "Sure." She sat up, stretching her hands above her head.
Y/n took a glance around her and noticed that the group she had originally had been lounging around with were gone; some cooling off in the water and others playing a game of volleyball.
Except Seungcheol and Sunhee, who had his head on her lap while she had her nose deep in the book she had brought down from their hotel room.
Sickening.
"You have fun out there?" She asked rhetorically as he shook his head to get the remaining water out of his ears.
"Come out there with me later, yeah?" Mingyu reached up to fix his hair, slicking it back away from his face.
It was going to take a while for her to get used to this new tone of voice he used around her. She wasn't used to the deep octave he used, mixed with some sweetness in his tone – something she had heard only when he was around the women he was dating.
It sent her chills down her spine, thinking how cringy it was for him to use all his tricks he had done to make all those other girls fall at his feet with her.
"Maybe." Y/n leaned over to move a strand that he had missed.
She too used a tone that he hadn't heard of.
Not directed to him at least.
Their customer service voices.
"You guys are cute when you aren't fighting." Sunhee's voice caught their attention.
...And Seungcheol's, who let out a puff of air as a laugh.
Up until now, Mingyu and y/n had thought he was asleep – his sunglasses hiding his eyes.
"Give it until tomorrow, they'll be fighting again." Seungcheol sat up, pushing his sunglasses up to rest on his head.
Y/n chose to ignore his comment, standing up from where she had been sitting – reaching for her shorts and pulling it up to cover her bottom half. "Can you guys watch our stuff? We'll bring back poke in exchange."
"No."
"Don't listen to him." Sunhee waved him off. "Have fun!"
"Thanks, Sunhee." Mingyu smiled, reaching down to hold y/n hand – allowing her to guide him towards the main road.
"He's irked." He leaned down to mumble in her ears
The walk to the market was a short one, the two not bothering to let go of each other's hands as she once again allowed him to talk her ear off – babbling about tomorrow's trip to the North Shore.
He went on and on about how excited he was to try the shrimp truck he had seen many youtubers rave about; spending hours on end watching vlogs to prep him for the trip.
"Do you talk this much when you're with your girls?" She was genuinely curious, in shock with how he seemed to never run out of subjects to talk about. It was as if he was on a mission to reach a word certain count by the end of the day.
"No, just you." He shook his head, bringing his arm around her shoulders; pulling her closer to his body.
Weirdly enough, she preferred this more than holding his hand – it was more comfortable this way.
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
"So when did this happen?" Jeonghan motioned to the space between the two, catching y/n's attention from across the table.
After a long day of spending their time at the beach, they had decided their first night all together called for a group dinner at the hotel's restaurant – all at the expense of the best man's card.
Seungcheol.
Sunhee nearly choked on the cocktail she was sipping on, quickly shaking her head. "Oh we're not– no." She laughed.
They could have fooled anyone... just as well as Y/n and Mingyu had been.
They had spent the dinner picking off each other's plates – even showing up in coordinating outfits that Sunhee had sworn was not planned. Y/n had to fight the her brain from making a face when Sunhee had profusely declined the groups teasing when they first took their seats.
"Oh." Jeonghan blinked. "I just figured–"
"We're not." Seungcheol shutting him down, instantly silencing Jeonghan who then turned his body to the direction of y/n and Mingyu.
She had been thankful for the various conversations taking place around the table, allowing her to pretend that she hadn't been listening in to the short interaction happening a few feet from her.
"What about you two?" Jeonghan nodded at them, stopping Mingyu mid-setence while he conversed with Minghao about tomorrow's plans.
"What about us?" He asked, confused with the question being asked.
"When did this happen?" Jeonghan repeated.
"Valentines day." Mingyu replied without a second thought, almost as if he had the story ready for anyone who would ask.
He was quick at his feet, able to muster up a lie with a heartbeat.
She made a mental note to thank him later.
"I think I just realized that I always had feelings for her and I wanted to see if what I was thinking was real, or just– I don't know. Minghao convinced me to go over to her place and just let it all out." He continued, shrugging off the story as if it was the most casual thing that left his lips.
If she wasn't a part of the lie, she would have bought it.
Like Jeonghan, Y/n looked over to Minghao who had nodded in confirmation as he swirled the wine in his hand.
They were great liars.
"Didn't know you had a soft spot, Mingyu." Soonyoung whistled.
"Me neither." Y/n whispered only for the two of them to hear, earning a poke on her side from him – causing a small laugh to escape from her lips.
"Oh my god, they're actually in love." Chan gagged, catching the small interaction that had just unfolded before him.
"You guys should see what I have to put up with at home." Minghao grumbled into his wine glass before taking a long sip.
The teasing? The bickering over which show to watch? The hour long debate over a movies plot? The impromptu karaoke sessions in their living room? Yeah, Minghao did have to put up through a lot.
"I guess the next to walk down the aisle will be Y/n and Mingyu." Jeonghan joked.
"Mingyu? Yeah right." Seungcheol chuckled.
Thankfully the rest of the group had managed to drop the topic and redirected the conversation back to Jeonghan – catching up on all the events that has been happening in his life.
Y/n took the opportunity to excuse herself to the restroom as the energy died down, looking down at her feet as she made her way to the back of the restaurant – she had one too many Mai Tai's and did not want to accidentally trip over air.
"Y/n!"
Turning her head to the voice at the end of the hall, she was once again cornered by Seungcheol – with no place to run.
"Can we talk?" He stopped within a foot of her, his voice much softer than the snarky voice he had been using every time he would make a snide comment earlier in the day. "Please?"
Y/n stared at him, unable to come up with an excuse to avoid him.
"Five minutes." She swallowed.
Seungcheol nodded, motioning him to follow her through the doors that lead to the beach – wanting to converse in a much quieter atmosphere.
Once they were at an enough distance from the restaurant, away from the eyeline of the others, Seungcheol came to a stop turning to the girl.
"You guys may be fooling everyone but you're not fooling me." He spoke slowly.
They were caught.
"Did you just bring me out here to pick a fight?" She hugged her arms around her, feeling the cool breeze hit her bare arms.
"Y/n, drop the act. Do you really think that I'd believe you're dating, of all the people in the world, Mingyu? You guys are best friends, yeah I get that- but please, I know you guys don't love each other–"
"Not like how you and Sunhee love each other right?" Y/n snapped back.
Seungcheol licked his lips, shaking his head.
If he wasn't letting up, neither was she.
"You guys have always been at each other's throat, you really think I believe that one day you guys just decided to stop?"
"He knows me better than anyone, Cheol. He knows what makes me happy, what makes me tick. He has wiped every tear that you have caused. He picked me up whenever you left me stranded. He has always been there, more importantly when you weren't."
She wasn't lying.
Behind all the small fights and teasing, the two had always leaned in each other for emotional support.
Just as Mingyu had done for her, she has also always been the one person he called when he was having a tough time – remembering the time that she brought food over to his dorm for a week straight because he had refused to eat after his first girlfriend had broken up with him.
They had their moments, but at the end of the day, she genuinely did love Mingyu.
They have been together through all the season of their lives and she couldn't imagine going through any heartbreak or failed job interviews without having him by her side.
They were each other's person.
"So yeah, sue me if I realized I may have been in love with my best friend too." Y/n continued. "Mingyu has always been there and it's nice being taken care of someone who actually knows me."
"I know you." He defended. "Your favorite color is green, you hate that you're in the medical field because but you chose to go through with it because you didn't want to disappoint your parents, you hate the sound of utensils rubbing together. I know you, Y/n."
"Those are shallow facts." Y/n countered. "Minghao knows those things about me too."
"I know that you had never once thought of Mingyu the way you thought of me." He continued, taking a step closer to her. "What you and I had– have, that's never going to measure up to what you think you're trying to pull off with Mingyu."
"So what? Is this your way of saying you chose me all along?"
"There's no need to choose, y/n." He raised his voice, growing frustrated with her question. "I care about you, and you should know that!"
"How? Huh? You have some crazy way of showing you care." She exhasperated.
"Just because I don't show it the way your little golden boy shows it, doesn't mean I don't care. It doesn't mean I don't want you."
"So do it then, pick."
"I'm not picking." He shook his head. "Just please, just drop the act and–"
"Is everything alright out here?" Mingyu's voice boomed from the steps of the restaurant, jogging over to where they stood.
"Yeah, we just finished talking." Seungcheol brushed past Mingyu, his shoulder hitting him as he bounded back to the well lit building – a stark contrast to the darkness that enveloped them.
She could hear her ears begin to ring as she let out deep breath she didn't realize she was holding in.
"You okay?" Mingyu asked in genuine concern, scanning her face to see if there were any tears that fell from her eyes. He noticed that she was gone for far too long, instantly putting two and two together once he realized Seungcheol was missing from the table. Mingyu had quickly excused himself from the group, not wanting whatever Seungcheol had in mind to ruin not only y/n's night but everyone elses.
Y/n nodded, taking a step closer to him – silently asking for his arms to wrap around her. Both for consolation and to shield from the wind.
"I don't want to go back in there."
"Then we won't." He replied, resting his chin on her head.
"He knows we're just pretending." Her cheek pressed against his chest, her voice in pure defeat.
"Should we take some acting classes?"
Looking up to meet his eyes, she couldn't help but let a small laugh escape her lips. "Should we call it off?"
"I mean, everyone else already bought it." He shrugged. "Why don't we just pretend until the end of the trip. We wouldn't want a break up and a wedding all in one trip."
"Jeonghan would kill us for stealing the attention from him if we announced a break up." Y/n agreed. "Just, chill out on the fake sexual tension okay? It gives me the creeps."
"Whatever you want, stink."
The two stood in silence, Mingyu patiently waiting for Y/n to calm down from the high emotions. She had always hated confrontations, avoiding it as much as possible.
And when it can't be helped, she needed to take a few minutes as a breather to ground herself back to reality – after she had finally processed what had finally happened.
She tended to allow her emotions take full control whenever she was forced to confront a problem; in this case Seungcheol. It wasn't until moments after when she is able fully grasp what had truly happened.
Almost as if she had an out of body experience, watching the scene unfold from afar.
"Do we fight a lot?" She asked, taking a step back from him.
"Just an enough amount of times, why do you ask?" He chuckled.
"That's why he's not buying it. Because we fight a lot."
Mingyu licked his lips, thinking of all the times that they would openly bicker and argue in front of their group. It wasn't in any intentions to hurt each other, it was all out of pure fun. It was just who they were.
"I mean, what if I tease you because I like you." He reasoned.
"What are we, teenagers?"
He shrugged. "Don't let him get in your head. If he doesn't buy it then he doesn't. Let's just enjoy the trip."
She nodded. "One more."
"What?"
"What's my favorite color?"
"What?" He tilted his head in confusion.
"Answer it."
"Well, for clothes; black and white. For little trinkets, green. For other things, pink. For men, red." He listed, a smug smile appearing on his face when he said red.
Laughing, she gave him a playful shove. "Let's go."
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
"Shit." Mingyu quickly sat up in his bed, looking over to the other side of the room where she was buried deep under the covers on her own bed. "Y/n wake up!"
"Mm..." She grumbled, pulling a pillow over her head.
"We woke up late, everyone's headed up to the North Shore already." Mingyu scrambled around the room, gathering all his belongings needed for the one hour trip up to the northern point of the island.
"Fuck!" Y/n shot up, grabbing her phone to check the time.
7:42 am.
They had all agreed on leaving the hotel by 6am, a few of the boys wanting to catch the morning surf before the waves died down. They had been so tired from the day before and had forgotten to set an alarm before bed.
The group chat had been actively making jokes just an hour ago about how the two most likely have forgotten because they were far too busy doing..... other things the night before, deciding to head up without them.
"I'll text them that we're leaving soon." Y/n typed away as Mingyu slipped into the bathroom to change and wash up.
She was sitting on the bed waiting for her turn when a knock on the door pulled her out of her trance. She wasn't a morning person and it took her some time to finally wake her body up.
To her surprise, Seungcheol was behind the door. "I woke up late too." He grumbled.
"Morning." Mingyu nodded, walking out of the bathroom "Stink, bathroom's all yours."
"I'll wait for you guys in the lobby." He turned his heel.
Just what she needed. An hour ride with Mingyu and Seungcheol.
Fun.
The were in the car in no time, neither one of them uttering a single word to another as Mingyu cruised along highway.
There wasn't much to talk about, and she was more than happy to take in the views of the lush greenery that surrounded them – pulling her film camera out every once and a while to capture the beauty.
"Can we listen to more calmer music, the bass on this thing is making me car sick." Y/n groaned, reaching over to grab Mingyu's phone out of the cupholder – unlocking the device with ease.
He had been using the same passcode for nearly ten years and had yet to change it. Claiming that he'd just forget it.
"Here." Seungcheol's hand stretched out from the backseat, his palm opened with a single candy resting. "It's ginger candy. Helps with motion sickness. Figured you– we would need it."
Y/n hesitantly grabbed it from his hand. "Thanks."
Popping the hard candy in to her mouth, she went back to scrolling through Mingyu's endless playlists – unable to find the right one to match the current mood.
A particular one had caught her eye, letting out a laugh. "Is this– oh my god." She flashed the screen to him, earning a laugh from him as well. "Why do you have my getting ready playlist saved?"
"It has good songs!" He defended. "I listen to it when I work out."
This sent her into more fits of laughter, clutching her stomach as she imagined him bench pressing while the City Girls blared loudly through his headphones. "You're so dumb."
"Maneater keeps my reps on pace."
"Stop– oh my god stop my stomach hurts. Don't talk." She wiped the moisture from her eyes, using another free hand to hit his shoulder.
"If you're not going to pick a playlist, can I have the AUX?" Seungcheol wasn't entertained.
In fact, he didn't find a single part of the interaction funny.
Y/n sat back up, clearing her throat once she had finally calmed down – passing the wire that was once connected to Mingyu's phone over to him.
Within seconds the voice of her favorite artist played loudly in the car.
Supercut by Lorde.
This was also her playlist.
The one she had shared to him months before.
She knew he was staring at her.
She could feel his eyes.
As the beat began to pick up, she felt Mingyu's hand rest on her knee – his fingers drumming along to the song.
"In your car, the radio up. We keep tryin' to talk about us. I'm someone, you may be my love." He nodded, looking over at her – waiting for her to join in.
He also knew this was her favorite song – the two having their fair share of blaring this loudly in his car back home, singing at the top of their lungs as they sped through the road.
"I'll be your quiet afternoon crush. Be your violent overnight rush. Make you crazy over my touch." A small smile crept on her lips as she followed his movements, swaying their bodies to the side.
Moments like this was when she appreciated how well he was able to pick up on her body language and silent thoughts – easily distracting her from any thoughts that could cause her to feel uneasy.
"I should have stayed back." Seungcheol shook his head as he watched the two make fools of themselves – his fingers hovering over the skip button.
He didn't skip it. He allowed for the queue'd music to play on, opting to look down at his phone as they went on singing every single word of the song.
"I'm hungry." Y/n sighed, as the next song played.
"They're gonna meet us at the Sunrise Shack, can you hold off for a thirty-five more minutes?" Mingyu asked, glancing at the navigation.
"I packed some spam musubi's from last night." Seungcheol offered, digging into his backpack to pull out a small tightly wrapped rice and ham combo.
Shaking her head. "I don't like–"
"Y/n doesn't like cold warm food." Mingyu replied at the same time.
"What he said."
Maybe he really didn't know her.
And maybe, they weren't acting.
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
Y/n watched from her towel as the boys caught one wave after another, laughing whenever one of them lost their footing – sending them tumbling in to the water.
She was beginning to grow bored of sitting in the same spot, but considering the only other option was to walk around the stores a few miles down with Sunhee and Eunji, Jeonghan's fiance, she decided to stay back. She was in no mood to pretend to be close to the girl.
Not after last night.
In the moment of silence, the girl began to replay her and Seungcheol's conversation in her head.
She couldn't believe she was stupid enough to allow Mingyu to talk her into pretending to date him.
Even stupider to believe it would even work.
He was right. He did know her.
He knew when she was lying.
He knew that she wouldn't have dared considered seeing Mingyu in the same romantic light she had seen him.
But that was as far as it went.
He only knew her the same way the rest of their friends did.
Y/n began to think that maybe, if she would have waited it out longer instead of making him choose – things would have been different.
She would have gotten what she wanted.
"You okay?" Jeonghan's voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
Digging his board down into the sand, he took a seat next to her – looking out into the distance where the rest of the guys were slowly paddling back in.
"Yeah, just thinking." Y/n pulled her lips into a tight smile.
"You made the right choice, you know." He spoke.
"What?" She turned to face him.
"Picking Mingyu." He continued. "He's always had some weird soft spot for you. And I know I don't know much about what you and Seungcheol went through– but– You deserve someone who's willing to drop anything to make sure you're happy. You're Mingyu's Sunhee"
She felt guilty.
Aside from Minghao, Jeonghan was someone who she had grown close to within the group. She found many nights confiding all her secrets to him during their late study sessions at the library.
He was easy to open up to and it broke her heart when he had decided to take a job offer across the country – losing that one person she was able to make a genuine connection with.
She wanted to tell him that it was all a lie, that they were pretending just so she could get a rise out of Seungcheol in hopes that he would realize what he was missing.
But she couldn't.
She was embarrassed.
"Snorkle time!" Mingyu cheered with Seokmin, placing their boards right next Jeonghan's.
"Hi." Mingyu smiled down at her, leaning down to place a kiss on her cheek; just missing her lips by a few centimeters.
Taking both of them by surprise, their eyes wide once he had straightened out – luckily for them, no one had seemed to catch on to this.
"Can we slow down on the itinerary, I'm exhausted." Minghao whined, dragging his board behind him – dropping down on to the sand.
"I second that." Jeonghan sighed, laying down. "I want to nap."
"No none of that." Mingyu shook his head, grabbing either one of their arms to pull them up. "Come on let's go go go go!"
"Please tell your him to shut up." Minghao groaned, plopping back down once Mingyu had let go.
"Bug, chill." She laughed as she watch Minghao curl into a ball – groaning about how his body will be feeling sore until next month.
"Boooooo!" He gave her a thumbs down. "Boooooo!"
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
"You almost kissed me earlier."
"My bad." He yawned, keeping his eyes on the road.
After a long day of water activities and going around the shops of the North Shore, they were finally making their way back to the hotel. Y/n couldn't be more glad at the thought of being able to wash the salt water and sand off her skin and laying down on the soft mattress.
She was also grateful that Seungcheol didn't need to ride back with them – hopping into the Jeonghan's rental after they had finished off eating at the local shave ice stand.
"I was shocked too, I was too hyper at the time." Mingyu continued, fiddling with the nobs of the A/C unit when he noticed her shiver from the corner of his eyes. "Better?"
Y/n nodded. "No kissing okay? It's weird."
"You're a bad kisser, huh?" He teased.
"I don't know. Ask Seungcheol."
"Gross." He stuck his tongue out.
"Besides, pretty sure you have rabies."
Playing along with her joke, Mingyu rolling up his sleeve to flash her his bicep. "I got my shots up to date."
"Stupid." She snorted, going back to scrolling on her instagram – liking all the posts her friends have uploaded from today's activities.
Y/n felt warmth bubbling in her heart as she saw each and every carousel containing some sort of group pictures. She had missed this – when their group was complete, with no care in the world.
It brought her back to the time when they were all blissfully unaware of the real world; making the most of their college experience.
Before jobs, feelings, and schedules complicated their lives.
"Wanna hear something funny?" She asked, keeping her eyes trained on her screen.
She was looking at Sunhee's post – holding a bowl of shave ice nearly the size of her head with Seungcheol smiling widely in the back.
"Don't I ever?" Mingyu replied sarcastically.
"Jeonghan said I was your Sunhee."
Mingyu remained silent.
"Isn't that hilarious?" She turned her head to face his profile. "You would never put someone through what Seungcheol put me through because of me, right?"
"I'm afraid of commitment but I'm not an asshole, y/n." He glanced at her.
"I'm not Sunhee then... right?"
"I mean, in a way–"
"What do you mean in a way? We're nowhere near like them."
Their dynamic was a stark contrast to Seungcheol and Sunhee's.
Sure, they were very close – knowing each other better than they know themselves. But they knew boundaries.
They knew when to draw the line when it came to friendship, refusing to tread into dangerous waters because that's all they were.
Friends.
Two people, of the opposite gender, can be friends.
"Look, you're my best friend. We have our moments, but yeah- if you being my Sunhee means I'd do anything for you, then maybe?"
"You wouldn't do anything for me."
"Yeah I would." He defended.
"Mingyu, let's be real here." Y/n pressed.
The thing was, she didn't want to be Sunhee. She would never want to be the reason why her best friend's significant other felt insecure – the reason why they would come second best.
She would never wish her position on anyone.
Especially not someone who Mingyu loved.
"I am!" He chuckled. "Maybe I won't cancel on my date last minute for you for a little headache, but if it came down to making sure you're okay, yeah– I'll do anything for you."
He was being serious.
His tone matching his words.
"But I'm not Sunhee." She pressed.
She had her mind set on not wanting to be Sunhee.
She was y/n. She knew Jeonghan was simply making an analogy earlier, but the girl didn't want to be her. Not to Seungcheol, and defenitely not to Mingyu.
"No, you're right. You're y/n. My best friend" He sent her a warm smile, reaching over to give her knee a squeeze. "We're, as you would say, for lifers."
What the girl in the passenger seat didn't know was that she was his Sunhee.
She was the girl that he had fallen in love with.
The girl that he searched for in every other person he tried to date.
If she was his Sunhee then he was her Seungcheol.
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there are some who asked to be tagged but tumblr is being weird and not allowing me to so i am so so sorry!
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kitamars · 2 years
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swap! swap! swap!
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fantasy-girl974 · 2 months
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Studying hard
**** A follow up of the comic I did based on the fanfic "One step at a time" by OuterWilde 💙
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failyaoi · 4 months
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GUYS PLEASE THEY'RE SO UNDERRATED PLEEAAAAASE
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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[sketch reward]
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