#ok but second gif was actually the highlight of the ep

[arziaisfrench]

▪︎ IPKKND Ep 33 recap : Khushi leaves Arnav

You can see in his eyes how much he was worried and how much he missed her.

> At this point in the story, I feel like I need to adress the intensity of their relationship : I can understand people not getting how these two are already so intense in their feelings while in fact not having known each other for that long. But I believe the intensity of emotions aren't always in correlation with time. Yes the attraction between them is very strong but let's not disregard the pure bond between them. Them exchanges about faith was the proof of them bonding in the most natural way and even despite themselves. And I think it's because both of them have a common innocense, both have inner childs that crave for the same things, since both are orphans. And I believe both crave simplicity. Simplicity over bonding with someone. You know, when you're very young, you don't have expectations when you're meeting people even when they are very different from you (socially and else). You don't try to protect yourself from any fear of being hurt. You just let life happens. And that's what happened between them when they met the two first time. And both understood how rare their meeting happened, and I do feel they are very aware of how their bond is simple and easy. Their desire to talk to each other is not so difficult to arouse, they feel the natural inclination to interact with each other.

"-Are you alright? -Only Asr can ask if I'm okay after what I went through" Khushi takes his question as a way to dismiss the seriousness of the dangerous situation he had put her in. Soon she'll understand that it's his way to show his concern and that he actually deeply cares.

One thing I'll like to hightlight here, is how apologizing is something terribly hard to do for Arnav. To apologize for what he has done will bring too much attention on the fact that he made a mistake. I think he's ok to show her that he regrets his actions but still very much struggling with the idea of apologizing.

Why? Because he doesn't want people to know that himself can feel ashamed for his own actions. He doesn't want to be seen as someone who can be vulnerable. That shame is because he (just like Khushi) wants to prove people and the world that he's worthy. Arnav might be proud to having build a powerful and succesful empire, but deep down Asr persona hides a low self-esteem/worth. He doesn't believe he can be loved for who he really is.

I really think he didn't even thought about apologizing to her for a second, he's not ready yet. He was instead ready to show her his gentle side.

"In your life, nothing happens by itself. Everything is done by you, right?"

Arnav was willing to explain to her but she didn't let him. She's mirroring what he used to do to her when she tried to explain to him when he was questioning her intentions. That's why she doesn't try to be understanding. She would rather leave with the thought of him being a bad person ... for her to not miss him too much when she's gone hmhmmm haha !!

He doesn't get angry or annoyed when she cuts him off. He feels too guilty. He knows him not apologizing is wrong, but he simply cannot do it. He doesn't even know how to. He's psychologically incapable of apologizing and it's Khushi that will help him try, and then being able to apologize even to Lavanya ! She will help without being aware of it and for a precise reason I'll explain in the future !

I really think the writers probably got helped by actual professionals in psychiatry and psychology cause the amount of details and layers are way too excellent !

Khushi reacting that way is not helping, it highlights even more him being weak. Because indeed, someone who has done something wrong and still cannot apologize is weak. But her anger is competely valid. And he knows it, that's why he won't developed resentment towards her because of her reaction.

When she announced him she's quitting her job, he was so shocked! He doesn't even want to take her resignation letter.

It wasn't part of his plan. He didn't want her to leave, he was already ordering people in the office to get more respectful of her.

If she's quitting, it means she never came to try to seduce him for his money. He was wrong.

This is probably my fav shot from the series ! You can see Khushi's hand holding Arnav's one, she's not holding the letter, but his hand ! While Arnav's hand lingers in the air after she let his go (he was holding on her hand too, forgetting the letter). I love how they made the letter just an excuse to touch each other one last time.

It's quick but very telling of about how her behaviors can be very often contradictory. Let's not forget that she is in denial about her feelings. But she can still feel them. That's why, I don't believe Khushi is suffering from depression, cause she is aware, conscious of her desires, disturbing thoughts and experiences. She understand how her body feels when she interacts with Arnav.

Khushi's halucinations about Arnav and other people aren't only used to make us laugh, I really believe they are evidences of my theory, Khushi's denial.

She is not just a simply bubly type of girl, she's definitely hyperactive, which is another after-effect of her trauma and her denial (her unconscious defense mechanism) !

Sanaya Irani not putting extra layers in her delivery at this stage of Khushi's journey is exactly what she needed to do, when you're in denial, you are not conscious of how complexe you really are.

Her bubbly persona is not just her "nature", nah, it's also her way to filter and conceal the intense pain she can feel. Khushi also compartmentalize many elements of her life especially her feelings. It's a way to manage the anxiety, stressful situations and emotions. And to compartmentalize them is not a bad thing actually, it's often quite healthy. That's why she never saw Lavanya in a bad light or try to resent her because both were in love with the same man.

Seeing her willing to leave makes Arnav feel lost and helpless. She didn't have to give him directly her resignation letter. She knew what she was doing.

She was giving him a last chance !! "Apologize to me Arnav Sign Raizada. Tell me not to go. Make me stay. I can't stay after all the humiliations I had to bear. I need to save my honor and self respect. Why do leaving you make me feel weird tho?"

I love mani new nickname for Khushi "lionne" lol, that's exactly how Arnav saw her : her fierce lionne, an equal !

It's funny how Khushi refused to let Arnav speak lol, it's because she didn't want him to break the adrenaline rush she needed to announce she's breaking the contract. But then, look at her eyes, they are lowkey begging him to say something, to stop her from leaving.

She even stops in front of the door and looks at him one last time to give him a chance to stop her from leaving! ! "Arnav please challenge me one more time! I want to see you again !"

The doors and how both interact around doors, windows, entrances in houses and cars (Arnav's car) are always giving us hints about their dynamic and what they unconsciously want and feel. I'll probably do a thread about those scenes in the future.

Arnav wanted so badly to stop her, damn it why didn't you SIR ?! I think he never actually truly wanted her to leave him. Never.

Both of them are thinking of their moment of "awarness". The moment their understood the strong bond and the fire they felt towards each other. They don't want to part ways, not one bit.

[dnghans]

Lee Daehwi // Playing With Fire