#ok back to speed reading 300 pages

[frenchiepal]

🌛 - aahh an angel of a professor has allowed me to take the oral exam in cultural studies even though i forgot to register for it! super grateful rn but that means that i have about two days to study for it so it's going to be a couple of late night study sessions :')

[written-beyond-the-grave]

Mikaelsons Black History Month

First off, I’m starting by saying that even though it is no longer Black history month it will always be melanin everyday and black people every day. And everything else under the sun, and if you don’t like it then the exit is to your left. Everything you own in the box to the left

Being part of the Mikaelsons is very fickle business and be some bs. Like really, you’re here with supernatural beings who are over 1000 years old. Who have traveled the world, gained endless knowledge, seen a lot of bloodshed, but you know what they haven’t seen? Their token human (black ofc) being ignant for black history month, I mean who even fully celebrates? How does one even celebrate?

Granted, they’re not racist. But with the writing Julie Pleck did she was playing honestly. That was the worst writing I've ever seen since who knows when. Maybe the nine lives of Chloe king or something? But in my originals universe they were probably racist in the beginning to an extent then grew out of it.

Anyways, they never met someone who celebrated until they met you!

Now repeat after me: I’m black y’all, and I’m black y’all. And I’m black and black and black y’all! FYM

Now…. picture this: A moderately quiet day in the Mikaelson household. Kol is minding his business for once, Rebekah is trying to find the perfect pics for her next instagram post, Elijah is enjoying a good read, and Klaus is organizing his art materials. But then here comes you, the human, opening the door and walking right in like you pay bills (none of them do but you get the picture) in the midst of the most deadly people. Walking in and greeting everyone, walking in with the most hotep, Dr. Umar bullshit getup they ever seen. Coming to America headass.

They recognize your footsteps from a mile away, so when you walk into the kitchen and no one really looks up at first it’ll be a sight to see a whole ass pelted lion on your back. The kente cloth hat (no idea the actual name for it, sorry babes), a saber tooth necklace (for my mans T’Challa), and the red stiletto nails with the afro out here banging.

SHEEEEEEEEESH

Once Elijah is done with his page he looks up to greet you, but then stops… Bitch, fuck is you wearing? This was worlds away from the sweats, and skinny jeans you wore on the daily.

“Greetings Y/N you look…. Fashionable.” Mans didn’t know what to say. Did he miss something about your Africna roots? Was there a holiday he hadn’t heard of, doubt it, but what else was there?

“Thank you Elijah.” You fluff out your lion pelt for added effect, if there was ever going to be one time you outdo the Mikaelsons’ especially Elijah in being dramatic with a coat or cloak of somesort, it would be now.

At this point the Kol and Rebekah have already looked up and were confused. Why are you dressed like that?

Kol is the first one to speak up “Darling, Rebekah likes a fashion show more than anyone, but why do you have a lion… on your shoulder.”

Lifting up your large ass shades you supplied an answer: “Black History Month”

They all looked at each other… they didn’t get it. Like they know what it is, but never actually understood how to celebrate and all that nor did they ever actually give it mind. When you saw that they weren’t making a connection, you started phase 1.

“Alexa, you know what to do.”

And there goes their manor playing: NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA I’M ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NIGGA

LMFAOOOOO you got the white people shook. Klaus just dropped one of his expensive ass bottles of art sealants and is vamp speeding to the kitchen to figure out what the hell is going on. Elijah having a mid century crisis on how tf they even found you and deemed you worthy of being in their presence so casually. Kol is having fun in the back, still laughing at your get up. And Rebekah wishes she went to the mall instead, she wanted a girl bestie and got you instead rip

“WHAT IN BLAZES- Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DO- WHAT ARE YOU WEARING! ALEXA STOP THE MUSIC-” And the big bad wolf has arrived. You put your finger to Klaus’ lips which stuns him bc… you’re still HOOOMAN like damn, death wish much? And you look this man, straight in his mit and say “Looks at, look at me” and pause for dramatic affect, “I am the captain now”

Room silent as hell till Kol starts cackling

You’ve made Dr. Umar proud, the ancestors are shining on you once again

With that you lead into a whole speech about the black struggle and black history month, bottom line: REPARATIONS. Because being the only nigga in the Mikaelsons (we don’t claim Marcel) is exhausting, white people shit everyday that you complain about in their faces

TBH at this point they’re indulging you in this escapade.

First victim is Elijah, you ask for his wallet. He gives you a look, I mean he does technically give you what you want and whatever (when y’all dating, refer back to my dating Elijah post), so he ask you why. Reparations sis why, but then you stop yourself. This man gives you his wallet every other day, half the time you not even asking. What could you rob this man of…. Ah. You ask him for the deed of one of his estates in Prague, why? Because you bitches can’t even spell Prague. And under section S line 45 subsection Y it does state that estates are eligible for reparations. Fuck 40 acres and a mule, you got 300 acres, some stallions in the back, a quite possibly haunted mansion, and a heavy dicked (yeah I said it, a sis been trying to reality shift) original who will turn you out by the end of the day and the end of the month…. Wait till women's history month boo

We know his pockets figgity fat, and it would be figgity wack to not get some

Ngl you take Kol with you so he can buy you food. Granted, he knows what you’re doing, but if he’s going to spend money on anything it will be thawed and it will be music. However, one thing leads to another and you’re both at Wal-Mart waiting to find a parking spot. You stole one off a white minivan trying to move in. Not thinking anything of it because who in this small ass Mystic Falls ass, clown ass town really about it? Apparently Karen.

But you know who else what about it? Kol (tbh mans had nothing but time, and he claims you so why tf not.) he out here NY stomping on her and coming at her for badly glued extensions. Cheap ass bitch, ain’t even blend in correctly.

After that Kol and you left with some groceries, a new story to tell, and a chopped cheese.

With Klaus, he frfr wasn’t finna do shit. Being ordered my a human? Lmfao, go find another simp sis. But… once you suggest that his art skills may not be up to par on what you have in mind as a new family room piece for your house he’s all ears. He knows what you’re doing, but… he still wants to prove you wrong. But anyways, you give him a theme… reverse racism. IK y’all, it’s not a thing, but mans has ideas. And he outdoes himself. That and the recreation of the moorish chief bc that man...mmmmm that man was giving.

Ok so Google wanna hoe me, but there was a painting of a black man in a kkk cloak and behind him were white people being hung from a tree. Say what you want, but that photo was fire. If any of you seen it please share it below.

Anyways

Rebekah tbh wants no part in this, but I feel like she’d gave when you ask her to give you all the finest dresses bc it’s an excuse to exhaust Klaus’ money.

Through the month you give the Mikaelsons a run for their money, and maybe sanity. Klaus is in the back trying to research who tf Dr. Umar is and why is he your inspiration

They had to pull you back when the sheriff asked you for your ID. You ask why you needed white man paperwork!

You are pleasing the spirits, what bonnie could never do lmfaooooo. The powers of you enemies aren’t prospering this month nor next month.

You’re not poor this month, anything you poor of is pouring a little more (bars nigga)

LMFAOOOO imaging asking the fam to go to paris, like, they not invited it’s a self trip funded my the Mikaelson Y/N Trust Fund of Public Decency ™

Klaus would be the first one to speak because this man is TIRED, “Love, why do you need a trip to paris? What’s in Paris?”

Knowing better, you look to Kol to answer the question, “I don’t know, Kol, who’s in Paris?” Niggas b. Niggas in paris…. Lemme chill

LMFAOOO enjoy

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 8]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, sex toys, dom!seungcheol, blowjob, cumplay, overstimulation, minor degradation/dirty talk, big dick seungcheol is in the house ladies ‘n gents, what we’ve all been waiting for!!! 😩💕 this was actually meant to be a shorter chapter which I guess depending on how you look at 5k words I guess that can be seen as short!!, anyway thank you so much for your patience 🥺 I know a ton of you were waiting for this and it’s finally here!! hehe~ enjoy! have a great weekend!! 🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - ? 

“Well… It’s not much but welcome home for the next few days.”

Seungcheol helps you into his studio apartment; setting your things by the bed before turning to you.

“So, I take it the cat isn’t real then, huh?” You joke, plopping down onto the sofa. He shoots you a sheepish smile when he sits on the other end, cheeks blooming crimson.

“Uh… no, sorry... If there’s anything I lied about, it was definitely only the cat.”

The two of you share a laugh as you look around the apartment, noting the cookbooks on the kitchen countertop and the extensive PC setup on his desk. “Oh, I should show you around. I mean, it’s not much, but I figure I should let you know where everything is.”

You nod, getting up as Seungcheol starts showing you around the place. He shows you to the bathroom, lets you know where he keeps all of his snacks and even pauses to give you the wi-fi password. You follow him around the place, remarking that it seemed more homey and lived-in than your space did.

“I mean, it’s not much, but it’s comfy. I even tried to be a plant dad but I forgot to water them so that didn’t really work out.”

“Maybe just buy the fake ones for aesthetic purposes, y’know? Give it a greenhouse vibe.”

Seungcheol nods; chuckling as he brings you back to the living space. “Okay, I should go get the things from ‘Guk before it gets any later. And you have a show to do tomorrow too so we should definitely setup once I get back.” He makes sure he has all of his things, keys jingling in his hold as he makes his way to the door.

“Do you need anything else while I’m out? I’ll probably be about 45 minutes, give or take an hour if I catch traffic.”

You shake your head ‘no’ in response, walking up to him. “Just drive safe~” Waving, you wait until the door lock falls into place before you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

In truth, you’d never stopped thinking about the video you had uploaded hours earlier. It had lingered at the back of your head the entire day despite Seungcheol’s valiant efforts to keep your mind off of the entire thing. 

It was the first time you were alone all day and you were finally ready to face the repercussions of your actions, should they have gone sour.

Sitting on the sofa, you unlock your phone before hesitantly opening a web browser and typing in the URL for the camming website. Taking a deep breath, you login, already nervous when the browser lags due to the amount of notifications.

Your eyes quickly flit across the multitude of comments; cheeks hot as your fingers go numb.

“Oh my god…”

Seungcheol gets an earful once he gets the equipment from Jeongguk’s place; the younger male’s smug face ingrained in Seungcheol’s head even when he gets back to the apartment in record speed.

It takes him a bit of trapezing to get everything in one go, cables spilling out of the box that Jeongguk haphazardly put together, but Seungcheol manages to get the door open.

“Oh my god, ‘Cheol, there you are! Please hurry, come look at this!”

He quickly drags in the box, kicking the door shut before hurriedly jogging over to the sofa where you sat with your laptop. “I--I… I don’t know what to say, I’m just…” You quickly turn the screen to let him read the comments, a wide and giddy smile on your face.

‘Whoa… this is amazing…’

‘Wait who’s the guy???’

‘Please please more content like this’

‘Fuck you sound so good begging for daddy like this…’

‘In public? Such a naughty girl… but daddy will give it to you since you asked so nicely…’

‘Shit you really do look good getting fucked like this… better than your toys tbh’

“Whoa…” Seungcheol breathes out, scrolling through the rest as he sits next to you. “It seems like it did pretty damn well, huh?” You nod feverishly, leaning over him as you click on the video’s revenue page.

“‘Cheol look at this… The donations and revenue from this video alone... I--It’s… it’s more than I get in some of my live shows…” You trail off, wide eyes meeting Seungcheol’s equally shocked face.

The two of you sit in silence for a moment; various thoughts running through your head at the possibilities.

Seungcheol fares no different, already feeling the atmosphere change when you place the laptop on the coffee table.

“Seungcheol…” He can only chuckle in response, already knowing the next words that would spill from your lips.

“Let me take a wild guess… You want to film more like this?”

Nodding, you lean in close to him, wrapping your own arms around his as you rest your head on his shoulder. “I know we kinda… agreed to not get intimate so fast and--and I think we have a lot we need to talk about but ‘Cheol… I--I don’t want to beg but… Would you? Film some videos with me, I mean? They don’t have to be, like, both of us, they can just be from your POV and we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with doing on camera!”

He bites the inside of his cheek as he stares off into the living room. “How about this… Let’s set up, since you have a show to do tomorrow. And then Tuesday morning before I head to work, we can talk about it. I’m not saying no, I’m just… there’s some ground rules I think we need to put down first. Hard limits, things we’re okay with filming… Y’know, just, what we’re comfortable with.”

“Okay, yeah! That makes total and complete sense~” You open your mouth to speak again, only a small squeak coming out instead. “Hmm? Something the matter?”

“Just… Thank you. For everything. I really didn’t expect this to do as well as it did and--and just, I guess I’m in shock?” You laugh, pulling away from Seungcheol as he stares down at you. “And to be honest… I mean, it’s not like we haven’t thought about each other, right?”

Seungcheol feels his body getting warmer by the passing second; gulping when he understands what you mean. “Y-yeah, it’s just.. Hah, I guess I thought I’d have more time to woo you over.”

Letting out an airy laugh, you stand from the sofa and make your way towards the momentarily forgotten box of equipment; dragging it towards the bed before you sit on the floor next to it. “You have plenty of time to do that~ And anyway, who says I’m not already woo’d over?” You place a ring light down by your side just as Seungcheol sits on the bed, watching as you go through the items.

“Wow, Jeongguk sure has a lot of really nice equipment in here! Are you sure it’s okay we borrowed it?”

“Yeah, he’s a bit of a nerd for video equipment and I’m pretty sure as long as we don’t break anything we’re good.”

It only takes about 35 minutes and Seungcheol stepping on an outlet plug to finish setting up all the lighting equipment and camera as you and Seungcheol finally plop down onto the bed.

“Jeez, I never realized how convoluted it was to set up a few ring lights and one camera. I don’t want to see another cable for at least 50 years.” Seungcheol jokes; wiping a bead of sweat that trickles down his temple. “Is this how it’s set up at your place?”

“Mmhmm~ All the time. It’s like I’m never really ‘offline’.”

He stands from the bed a second later, walking to the fridge to get some water for the two of you. “Really? You don’t ever put the equipment away?”

You sigh softly, flopping onto your back onto the cold sheets. “In a perfect world I would, but it gets really annoying to always take down and put everything back up so I usually kind of just leave them in their places. But it’s fine ‘cause it’s only me anyway and I’m lazy~”

Seungcheol laughs as he places a glass of water next to the bed. “I guess that’s fair. I’d probably do the same.” You get comfy on his bed; eyes already threatening to slide shut.

“We should probably get some sleep, huh? I have work in the morning…” He mumbles, watching as you already seem to drift off into sleep.

“Mmhmm~”

Seungcheol’s bed is comfy.

So comfy that you barely register him leaning down to let you know that he’d be leaving for work. And so comfy that you spend most of your day in it until he gets back.

“Honey, I’m home~” He singsongs; kicking his shoes off at the door before making his way into the kitchen. “I grabbed some takeout on the way back, hope you don’t mind. My cookbooks came in a while ago, but to be honest, I’ve barely even looked at ‘em, much less even opened them up.”

“I don’t mind~ And thank you!”

The two of you set up in the living space, placing the food on the coffee table and easing onto the rug. “So how was work, darling~?”

Seungcheol chokes on a bite of food in an instant, hand on his chest as he tries to swallow it down. “Urgh, f-fine!” He pauses as he clears his airway. “Jeongguk really won’t let me live it down but it’s okay. He asked what you saw in me and that killed my ego a bit.” He snorts.

“Pfft, there’s a lot to like about you! He just doesn’t see ‘that’ side of you, y’know?” Seungcheol blushes, clearing his throat before trying to change the subject. “How was your day? Hope it wasn’t too boring?”

“Mmm~ Not really... Your bed is really comfy though! I didn’t wanna leave it~ Oh! And I spent some time brainstorming some ideas ‘n stuff for tomorrow!”

“Yeah? Anything good?”

Your cheeks flush crimson; a shy smile on your lips. “Maybe~ But we’ll save it for our talk!!”

dom.cheol: aren’t you a pretty lil thing?

angelhan has donated $70

dom.cheol has donated $300

artist8hao: oh? A new location again? It looks nice

alphagyu97: are we all forgetting the most important thing??

alphagyu97: whos the dude???

universe_WZ: you sound pressed over there, u ok?

hoshi_tiger_xx: honestly idrc that video was HOT

“Oh my gosh~ You guys!!” Your eyes flit to the side where Seungcheol sits with his phone in hand; a sly smirk on his face when your eyes meet. “Actually, I didn’t know you’d all like it so much… I kinda just thought to do it on the fly and my---my friend, um, agreed to help me…” Mumbling, you shyly readjust on Seungcheol’s sheets.

gc__koo: a friend? interesting tell me more

sleepy_wonu: who tf

kitty_junjun: i see our babygirl is getting more regulars~ so popular~

You giggle cutely as you tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “Did my video do that well?” You already know the answer but you read off a few more responses, biting your lip when you glance Seungcheol’s way again.

“Actually… my friend is here with me. He’s making sure I behave~”

Seungcheol pauses, head tilted questioningly at you. He mouths a simple ‘what are you doing?’ to which you wink back, readjusting yourself against the headboard.

“He’s really shy though… So he won’t be on camera~ But… But thinking about his fingers so deep in me… Fuck I’m--I’m already…” You trail off; hand reaching for the small bullet vibrator next to you on the bed.

gc__koo: guess he really gave it to you good huh?

xcaliburDK: fuck we kno he did… god that was so hot

tangerine_kwan: ur cute lil pussy was so wet and tight around those fingers, fuck

chwenon has donated $45

chwenon: it was so diff from seeing your own fingers or toys but in a good way

You trail the small vibrator across your body; mewling when you press it against the growing wet patch on your panties. “S-so you guys wouldn’t mind seeing more?”

gentleman_josh95: fuck yea i wanna see more

therealchan99: yes god plz, wanna see that cute lil cunt stretching around a fat cock

Seungcheol blushes as he clenches his jaw, suddenly a little embarrassed.

“Yeah? Mmh, I--I want that too…” You whimper. Using your free hand, you hook your thumb into the waistband of your panties as you shimmy them down before you continue. “Do you think my friend would be so kind as to give it to me~?” You tease; spreading your legs wide in front of the camera.

dom.cheol: if you behave, maybe he will.

artist8hao: mmm he’s right, only good girls get their pussies filled with cock

“Heeeey, but I’m good, right?” You pout, brows furrowing cutely at the camera. “I’ve been so good lately… Think I deserve a reward~”

dom.cheol: do you though? Have you been good, baby?

therealchan99: uh oh trouble in paradise?

gc__koo: maybe hes jealous

Jealous!? Seungcheol exclaims in his head; reminding himself to keep quiet as he stares at you incredulously.

You can only laugh loudly in response, shaking your head as you bring the wet toy up to your lips. You lick the wetness off of the silicone, lips settling into a sly smirk when you set the vibrator to it’s strongest setting.

“Let me show you how good I can be.”

“So, restraints?”

“For me or for you?” You blink up at Seungcheol from a mouthful of cereal, hair messy as you lounge in one of his shirts you happened to find on the floor. “Uh, well, mostly for you. I’m--I’m not opposed to it but… Yeah.”

You get comfy in his makeshift sofa bed, giggling as he sits across from you. “I’m totally cool with it! Oh! Um… you… you’re clean, right? Before we continue.” He nods in response, clearing his throat. “Yeah, I got tested a few weeks ago… Just in case.”

“Okay cool, so… Hmm… ‘Cheol is there anything you don’t want to do?”

“I should be asking you that, baby. ‘Cause I’m okay with anything you want to do… I think.”

“Okay so no piss kinks and no weird diaper baby stuff then.”

Seungcheol snorts, running a hand through his hair. “Sounds good to me. Is there anything you’re… really opposed to? Like choking or spitplay or degradation... I mean, you talking about it on your camshows is different from us doing it in real life so I--I just want to make sure you’re really okay with it.” You nod slowly, taking in his words.

“Yeah… I mean, I wanna try it with you. I trust you.” Pausing, you bite your lip as you try to hide the giddy smile on your face to no avail. “If we’re being honest, the thought of you being rough with me and spitting in my mouth is kinda really hot.”

He grits his teeth, already feeling his cock throb when you say that. “Ooookay, baby, I gotta go to work after this so let’s… not go there right now, okay? I don’t need ‘Guk having any more ammo against me.”

“Sorry, ‘Cheol~ I’ll be good! And--oh, by the way… Um, what about your v-voice? What are we gonna do about that…”

Oh, right.

Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek, contemplating. In truth, he’d been thinking about it since you asked him to help the first time and he knew eventually he’d have to revisit the topic. It seemed like a minuscule thing, but a part of him was a little worried that he’d be recognizable. “I--I’ll think about it. I’m more okay on the idea of it but I’ll let you know before we do anything.” Nodding, you get up from the sofa the same time Seungcheol does, walking with him towards the front door.

“Oh and one last thing, ‘Cheol!”

“Hmm?”

“Safe word?”

He takes a second to think, brows furrowing as he stares up at the ceiling.

“Cranberry.”

You raise a brow, blinking up at Seungcheol. “Really? Cranberry?”

“Yeah, why not, it’s easy to remember and it’s not Cherry but it’s kinda similar?”

“That’s fair, I guess.”

“Hey hyung, cool apartment! Didn’t think I’d see it like that, if you know what I mean.”

“Don’t you have popcorn to burn?”

Seungcheol sighs a breath of relief when he turns the lock to his apartment door; already excited to see you when he gets home from work.

“I’m back!” He yells, toeing his shoes off at the entrance as he sees you quietly shuffle to the entrance.

“I… I was bad today…”

Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features as his eyes dance over your form still dressed in one of his t-shirts.

Oh.

Ohhhh. Okay.

“You were bad, huh? Wanna tell me what you did, baby?”

You nod in response, linking your hands with his as you guide him back towards the bed. You hand him your phone, already having it in video mode and recording by the time he adjusts it in his palm

“You don’t have to… say anything if you don’t want to.” Seungcheol nods.

Gulping, you peer up at him once you sit on the bed. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you after you left for work… I--I couldn’t stop touching myself thinking about you…” You rub your thighs together; already feeling the wetness pooling between them again.

“I made myself cum and I--I used your pillow to make myself cum and got them dirty… ‘m sorry…”

Seungcheol feels himself slip into character, bringing his free hand up to your hair before he slightly tugs on it.

“So your greedy ‘lil pussy couldn’t wait ‘til I got home from work? And you got my favorite pillows dirty? Naughty ‘lil thing. I can’t even leave you alone for a few hours, can I?”

You feel your body heat up incredibly fast, head tilted up towards the camera as he brings it in closer. You were fully expecting him to keep quiet, but you were incredibly elated to hear him interacting with you. “I k-know, I’m sorry! I couldn’t s-stop thinking about your cock…” He scoffs, grinning down at you when he sees the lust already pooling in your eyes.

“How are you going to make it up to me, baby?”

“Fuck, you’re so pretty choking on my cock.”

The tears blur your vision as you swallow around him; pussy throbbing around your fingers at the feeling of him already being too big for your mouth. His hand guides you down until your lips almost reach the base of his cock, a strained moan on his lips when you gag around him. “Ngh, god, your mouth is so fuckin’ small. Bet you can’t wait ‘til my cock is in that pussy of yours, huh?”

You moan around him in response; head getting fuzzy when the lightheadedness starts to bite. You continue to thrust your own fingers into your pussy, prepping yourself for Seungcheol as you scissor and curl the digits.

Seungcheol holds you onto his cock a second more before he tugs on your hair, pulling you off of his cock as you sputter and catch your breath. “You look good like this, baby.” He smirks, letting the camera catch your messy hair, teary eyes and swollen lips before he lets go of your hair.

“Now get on the bed. Legs spread for me.”

You nod; getting up from the floor on shaky legs as Seungcheol lets the camera follow.

You strip off all your clothes and get onto the bed before resting against the pillows and spreading your legs for Seungcheol to situate himself between them.

“You need to be punished for misbehaving, sweetheart. You know you’re not allowed to cum without my permission. And you got my sheets dirty.”

“I know…” You whimper, “I couldn’t help it…”

Scoffing, he rolls his eyes. “I know you can’t. All you ever think about is my cock inside that pussy of yours. What would you do without me, baby? Do you think anyone could satisfy you like I do?”

Seungcheol slots himself between your legs, making sure to keep most of himself out of frame. He wraps his free hand around his cock, running it up and down before bringing his cock to your wet folds. He runs the head through your folds, letting it tap against your clit as you jolt.  “Do you want me?” He whispers; his eyes meeting yours.

He knew this was the second everything would change for the two of you, and he wanted to make sure you truly wanted it before he took the leap.

“Yes, please… I want you so bad…” You whimper, legs wrapping around Seungcheol’s waist. He nods shakily, making sure your phone is angled down as he slowly sinks his cock into your pussy.

The two of you share a broken moan as Seungcheol’s grip on your phone tightens and your own hands find purchase in the pillow tucked underneath your head.

Seungcheol was big.

And the stretch had you whining; a small sting biting into you as he slowly eased his cock into you. “Relax for me, sweetheart. You’re already so fuckin’ tight around me. You need to relax a little more.”

You try your best to even your breathing as you also attempt to relax; pupils blown wide when you look straight into the camera. “G-god, you’re so b-big, oh, I--I’m--a-ah!” Tiny cries spill from your lips as you cum unexpectedly, nails digging into the pillow as your walls flutter around him.

“Hmm~ Only got half my cock into your tight pussy and you’re already cumming? So easy.” He laughs, letting you ride out your high as he waits.

Internally, Seungcheol was dying. There were so many things he wanted to say but couldn’t; knowing he, too, at this moment, was playing a character with you.

“Fuck, your pussy is so warm and wet and I’m not even all the way in yet. Think you can still take the rest of me, baby?”

“I, hah, y-yes, please! Wanna fuh--feel all of y-you…” Mumbling, you don’t even wait to come down from your high before you’re already wanting more; squirming underneath him.

“If you say so~”

Seungcheol inches in the rest of his cock, exhaling harshly when he bottoms out completely. “Holy fuck, you’re so goddamn tight!” His free hand grips your thigh, nails digging into the flesh as he gives you a second to adjust to his size. You can feel your entire body trembling, pussy clenching around him as the sting from the stretch starts to subside and bleed into unadulterated pleasure. “God, please--please m-move!”

He starts slow at first, only shallowly thrusting into you as the two of you get used to each other’s body. And despite your first time together being on camera, Seungcheol doesn’t seem to mind all too much, although he does remember to keep himself out as much as possible.

Your breathy moans and clipped breaths are music to his ears when he starts going a little faster; the sweat starting to trickle down his temple when he keeps at a moderate pace. “O-oh, fuck!” A string of incoherent curses follow as you wince when the head of Seungcheol’s cock taps your cervix.

“Oh, go----d, right there, please, it feels so g-good!”

“Right here? Does it feel good when you’re full of my cock?” Seungcheol clenches his jaw when you tighten around him, small curses falling from his own lips.

“Yes, yes, god, fuck… I--ngh!” Your eyes clamp shut as you fully get lost in pleasure; your head tossed back into the pillow when Seungcheol thrusts into you particularly hard.

You hear him laugh lightly, followed by a buzzing noise that has your eyes peeling open. “H-huh?”

Seungcheol smiles down at you, eyes filled with mischief when he plays with the settings on the vibrator in his hand.

“Well, you wanted to cum so bad that you did it without my permission, right? Since you wanna cum so bad, let’s see it, sweetheart.” He brings the toy to your clit; letting the vibrations throw your body into overdrive as your back arches off of the sheets.

“A-ah, Seu--Mmh! Fuck ‘m g-gonna cum a-again!” You cry, thighs quivering around his waist as he keeps the silicone toy pressed up against your swollen clit.

He doesn’t let up as he starts to thrust into you quicker, fucking you through your orgasm as he chases his. “God, your fuckin’ cunt was made for me. Bet you want me to cum inside too, huh? Fill you up nice and good until it’s spilling out of you?”

“Please, please, please!”

“You gotta cum for me one more time, baby. Get my cock wet.” You let out a choked cry, lashes wet with tears when he sets the toy to its strongest setting.

“Mmh, ‘m so s-sensitive… I--- I don’t know if--if I can, ah, cum a-again…” Seungcheol licks his lips watching your fucked out expression, cock throbbing between your walls. “I know you can, baby. I can feel you already getting tight around me again.”

And Seungcheol’s right; only a few more thrusts from him before you’re cumming one last time, heels digging into the small of his back as he finally shuts the toy off and grinds against you. And this time, your lips part in a silent scream, back arching off of the bed as your entire body goes rigid underneath him.

He makes sure to do a full sweep of your body through the camera in the midst of your high, halting his movements as he lets you ride it out before he continues.

“Oh my g-god, I--fu--fuck…”

Your body finally untenses after a few minutes; chest heaving in deep breaths as Seungcheol resumes his pace.

“Ready for me to cum inside that cute ‘lil cunt of yours?”

“Mmh, yes, give it to me~”

Seungcheol snickers, thrusting into you hard one last time before he pulls out completely. “That’s too bad~” He taunts, wrapping his free hand around the shaft of his cock. “Only good girls get creampies~” He lets out a cocky laugh, running his hand up and down his cock as he positions it over your abdomen.

You clench around emptiness, a weak moan floating through the air when Seungcheol finally cums, painting your chest in warm wet streaks of the salty substance. “Fuck, but you look so pretty covered in my cum too…” He grits out, cock throbbing in his palm as he works himself through his orgasm.

You watch him through foggy eyes; licking your chapped lips as you watch his brows furrow in concentration and his eyes slide shut as he, too, gets overwhelmed with bliss.

It takes a moment for him to catch his breath, palm sweaty around the phone as his thumb hovers over the ‘stop’ button. “W-wait…”

“Hmm? What’s wrong, baby?”

You run your fingers through the rivulets of cum coating your skin, gathering the viscous liquid on your fingertips before you bring them up to your mouth to lick them clean. “We can’t let it go to waste, can we?” Popping the digits into your mouth, you moan around your fingers as you clean Seungcheol’s cum off of them.

“You’re right, baby. We shouldn’t.”

You smile up at him, eyes dancing towards the camera for what feels like the first time in a long time before popping the digits out of your mouth.

Seungcheol’s eyes follow your movements, throat dry when you run your fingertips through the settling cum again. Except this time, you drag your fingers down until they’re teasing your clit, coating it in his cum. “Ngh, w-wanted you to cum inside but…”

His shaky eyes follow the way your fingers dip lower and lower until your cum coated fingers sink into your swollen pussy. He mentally screams, half tempted to shut off the camera.

“That’s right, baby. You want my cum so bad that you have to do it yourself, huh? Maybe next time you’ll remember to behave, won’t you?”

Nodding, you repeat the same steps a few more times; fingering Seungcheol’s cum into your pussy until most of it is cleaned off of your chest.

“I promise I won’t misbehave again~” You coo.

You wait a few seconds before you lean up, hand circling Seungcheol’s wrist as you bring the phone down and press the ‘stop’ button yourself.

“And scene!” You blurt out, laying back down in a tired mess as Seungcheol chuckles above you.

“Well, can’t say I expected that, if I’m being honest.” He moves back, eyes fixated on his cum that dries on your skin and the little bit that trickles from your pussy. “I’ve gotta ask, did you really… before I got home…”

“Honestly? Yeah… I mean the--the pillows were a lie ‘cause I didn’t wanna get them dirty but…” You chuckle tiredly, aiming to sit up which you find difficult to do. “Fuck, ‘Cheol, I think you broke me!” He pouts in response, leaning over you to make sure you were okay.

“Did I though? Be honest. ‘Cause I wasn’t expecting to go that hard on our first time together but it just---it--I--”

“Whoa, it’s okay! Seungcheol, relax. You didn’t hurt me… I r-really liked it actually… It felt--You felt really good. And I just wanted to, um, say sorry. I kinda sprung that on you out of nowhere too.”

“Honestly? I didn’t mind. I seemed to fall into character a lot easier than I expected which shocked me too.” 

The two of you fall into a comfortable yet shy silence; catching your breath.

Seungcheol makes the first move, sliding off of the bed as you fight off the sleep that threatens to take you. “Hey, we need to get you cleaned up and hydrated. I need to change the sheets too.”

“Mmm.. but ‘m tired, ‘Cheol…”

He smiles at your tired form, helping you into a sitting position before shuffling to the kitchen to get you a glass of water. “I know you’re tired. And you can go to sleep after we get you cleaned off, get the sheets changed and probably eat a little, okay?”

“Mmkay~ Oh, but the video…” He passes you the glass, making you finish it before you continue.

“What about the video?”

You wipe at your dry lips, handing the glass back to Seungcheol. “We… We should probably watch it back and edit it a bit to make sure everything’s okay, shouldn’t we? Just in case we, um, said something we shouldn’t have or something...”

A blush blooms on Seungcheol’s skin, suddenly shy at the idea that he’d have to not only listen to himself but also watch, at least, part of himself on camera. “R-right, which--which we can do tomorrow when I get back from work. If that’s okay with you?”

You nod up at him, a beaming smile on your face.

“It’s definitely okay with me~”

[roguestarsailor]

One Day In December is such a good novel. I can’t believe I read the scorpio book recommendation and picked this up; whoever the astrologer person from the library is they really hit the mark. My god im literally sobbing. This is so goood!

Laurie and Jack have the most ordinary and mundane yet antsy and frustrating love story ever. I mean, this is a romcom so obviously they’ll end up together but the book spends like +300 pages making it seem impossible for that to happen! So many life moments that really shove them together but also tear them apart. So much unspoken tension!! So much unspoken truths!! so much to lose!! But as it near the ending and they’re both really figuring out their lives instead of finding distractions, or brushing aside feelings and red flags, and BOOM right in the feels. ahhh, i’ve never teared up for a love story before but I did for this! wow!!

“Might as well,” I grumbled. “My love life is official dead.”

Sarah screws up her finished-with fish-and-chip paper. “You’ve only got yourself to blame,” she says.

She’s referring to bus boy, of course. He’s reached near-mythical status now, and I’m on the very edge of giving up on him. Ten months is a long time to look for a complete stranger on the off-chance that they’ll be single, into me, and not an axe murderer. Sarah is of the vocal opinion that I need to move on, by which she means I need to find someone else before I turn into a nun. I know she’s right, but my heart isn’t ready to let him go yet. That feeling when we locked eyes--I’ve never had that before, ever.

i dog-eared this page because this is meeeeeeeeeeeee. not that ive ever had a love at first sight sighting in my entire life (but no one is gonna stop me from not making eye contact on public transport and hoping for the best!!). i love that Laurie is just as wistful; makes me feel better about myself (and makes me foolishly hopeful!!!) lol.

*spoilers*

Anyways, the time passage through this book was speedy; literally years pass as we read on. I was so anxious because its like long stretches of time passes and it literally takes years for them to officially get together. This is very different than other romcom books I’ve read since those generally is more quick to lead to the happy ending. And I guess it’s true. Love develops over time and at the same time, the time needed to *try* to get over someone but also figure yourself out as you age through your twenties. It’s never constantly spending time with someone either; its long stretches of time away from each other too. Most of the things that happen are really really mundane. It’s not grand, its not dramatic and its very quiet. Nobody makes quick decisions here and it’s so drawn out. 

It’s like how working at a job you hate can just escape you and you end up staying for too long. This book covers both the career stalemate and the love portion--staying in a relationship because you’ve built it and its actively choosing to keep it going even though it obvious not going to last. Even when Sarah and Laurie have their fall out, a good distance between time passes and I think that’s very normal. Even when they reunite again, its quiet and just casual and they slowly work back up to being the bestest friends again. Laurie and Jack relationship’s was actively trying not to engage with one another and it really showed--but its not completely radio silence nor intense heated moments. It’s fleeting because they both recognize that if they got together they would hurt Sarah, and then eventually Oscar and probably themselves the mostly. It’s watching them seeing the other person be with someone else or moving through life at a different speed and feeling like they’re too late and then having their paths diverge even more and then connecting at realizing the feelings are still here, and then diverging again and coming again. Their relationship is the definition of missed opportunities!!! But I think this is the most accurate account of adult relationships I’ve ever read so far and its really refreshing.

^ my literal face as i read the last few pages

*personal thoughts*

This gave me a really good insight into the world of dating and relationships and love. I am so used to reading these big grand things happening that the universe allow these two people to meet and create this magic. There’s the hurdles to jump through but they get through in the end and its implied that because they have the biggest element, which is love, means that they will be ok. They might have friends who root for them, they have little mice and birds to help them, so many elements in a typical romcom universe that pushes these two together. But this book was different.

As Jack dates Sarah, we know they don’t fit well but they stick it out. They actively try to date and get to know each other so they spend months to years dating. And its not that Jack only thinks about Laurie but rather its always in the background. Laurie tried to stay out of the way and Jack does the same. It’s wild to think that someone you have an almost instant connection with might not actually be what you want and you have to actively see the reality of the situation and actively live your life. To figure out if what you have with that person can technically work--makes it clear that a relationship IS work. It’s not passionate and fire! it’s very small, its texting every day and slowly giving a piece of yourself to this person. And its inconvenient as hell!!! Even Laurie being with Oscar, and actually getting married and trying to make married life work for them was mundane and average. There was no point where there was a dramatic STOP THE WEDDING, or like screaming “I Love You’s” and such for Laurie and Jack. Nobody was the bad guy and did the bad thing that made people realize that they don’t belong together; none of that! Oscar never cheated or became problematic, even Jack realized that have casual relationships wasn’t for him; nothing dramatic like that at all. Nobody actively objected to Laurie/Oscar’s union and nobody was actively rooting to get Jack and Laurie together. It had to be them, as individuals, choosing each other which is so fucken sweet and such a good expectation to have regarding romance love. Even though it started as a chance love at first sight moment, it ended up being them actively choosing and actively seeking out their own happiness and idea of what they want in life and then declaring it, separately, to each other that made them work as a couple. well there was a bit of a fanfare at the end of the book but it was cute. It was normal people! finding love! for each other!! I love this so much!!!

Songs to include in this Playlist I am 1000% gonna made for this book: invisible strings by Taylor Swift, Enchanted by Taylor Swift, gold rush by Taylor Swift, Speak Now by Taylor Swift, Permanent by Kygo, In Your Eyes by The Weekend, Heat Waves by Glass Animals, Just For A Moment by Gryffin, Iselin, Comeback by Carly Rae Jepsen, Bleachers, Don’t Give Up On Love by Kygo, Losing It Over You by Matoma, Ayme

[rigelmejo]

I don’t know if this extensive reading has helped but I FEEL like it has helped lol. When I started 小王子 how long was it taking a chapter? Just under 5 minutes per page right?

Well I know I got faster than that. Today my Internet was down so while waiting for things to restart and load and stuff I read like 5 chapters of the book. I read them out loud (just a handful of words I didn’t know how to say out loud). I was reading at slow but steady speaking speed so that’s still faster than 5 minutes a page. Ok I just timed myself to test it and I am taking 2 minutes to read a page, and I would guess 3 minutes if I slowed down to consider a bit more on the sayings/less familiar hanzi. That’s better then the 4.5-5 minutes I started at! So I must’ve picked up some words from this book. So I would say... yes a little extensive reading seems to be helping reading speed. Also! I have 16 pages to go! This story is so short. It is sweet and odd and so human though maybe that is why it’s remained loved like Alice in wonderland. (Fun fact I also read 2 chapters of Alice in wonderland in French this week and it is just as bizarre to me as when I watched the movie as a kid, But I do think in book form if I were 6-9 I would’ve related more since Alice’s POV in the story is pretty relatable... and when I was a kid and watched the movie I just did Not relate aha).

Anyway from 4.5 minutes to 2-3 is great!

What I did with graded readers/extensive reading this month, that I am hoping is why this helped:

Read graded reader (butterfly lovers, Pleco, 500 unique characters) - not hard but very satisfying to finish it and read it quickly when it used to take me 40 minutes to read a few Pleco pages of it). So that was a few thousand words comprehensible extensive reading.

Read another graded reader, chinese short stories. While I think it’s good as a study companion, a lot of very specific words which I tripped on (antique coins, being scammed). Which was fine I just think it was not the funnest reading material? It was mostly graded reader though I had to look up a couple handfuls of words.

Read a little of my 500 character Sinolingua reader (2 stories). Also read through the back of it which has all the words in the book, and the HSK 3 words included in the book - I knew all those words but it was a nice refresher. Mostly it was just nice to see how much easier these stories were to read compared to when I first got the book. (I would recommend these books as readers if you want something for adults and in short segments, the short stories are simplified prose from established authors, and the quality of storytelling can therefore be felt a bit. They feel more meaningful as short stories and therefore enjoyable if a bit basic (since they’ve been simplified). You can tell though compared to the Chinese Short Stories book above, which was probably written by a teacher/language textbook maker and not necessarily a literary writer.

Read mandarin companion journey to the center of the earth. 450 unique characters. Another easy read that felt really nice, compared to when I first read a mandarin companion book.

Started reading 小王子 on paper, so extensive reading with little word look up (I’ve looked up less than 10 words so far when reading on paper - notable words I looked up because it frustrated me I didn’t know them: 悲伤，惊奇，惊讶，匆匆，逐渐，观察，测试 a lot of these because I know I’ve seen these Hanzi before I just never remember specifically like 惊讶 惊奇 what the difference is or guan pronunciation 观察 or 测 I tend to forget when it’s not in 测试). I started reading it because it’s supposed to have around 2000 unique words (so not too many), and be pretty easy reading level (so a bit easier than 活着 which is the novel Chinese learners often get recommended). Basically, this was the extensive reading book choice step up from graded readers - it’s got a bit over 1000 unique hanzi, not an overwhelming amount of unique words, but it is not a graded reader so if it goes well I could jump to other stuff of similar or slightly less “ease” while still having it feel this “easy” to read (and hopefully take days to read instead of months).

Started reading 笑猫日记之会唱歌的猫 in Pleco, so clicking words I didn’t know (though this one only had a word or two a page unknown). I saw it recommended on a Chinese learners form as easy reading material after graded readers, and I agree! It’s very easy to read! I could understand it without clicking words but it is nice to understand fully since it’s convenient, and look up the pronunciation etc. I read 8 chapters so far. I also listened to a few chapters after reading, but idk if it helped at all.

15 ish chapters into 小王子 I found it online and reread 4 chapters with a click dictionary for unknown words. It was nice just clarifying the word pronunciations and fuzzy bits, also the online translation was different so seeing the difference on how they decided to word it (mostly just seeing synonyms used instead or different sayings for certain parts). I listened to a couple chapters audio afterwards, idk if it helped.

Unrelated, but I did listen read to 5 chapters of 默读 mainly following the Chinese text so, idk if that would’ve helped my overall reading at all (I want to say no but I did notice in general much more general gist comprehension of lines in MoDu then last time I read a couple months ago - although listening to the audio and being able to glance at the English for unknown words of course also makes things much more comprehensible that’s why listen reading method is the structure it is ahh).

Listened to some audio for 小王子 during work because I happened to find it, for chapters 1-4. Just playing in the background. I looked at the text while listening to one to match pronunciation to some words, since the chapter was like 5 minutes long in listening. Again interesting to see their word choice since It was yet another translation (I think I like my print books translation best).

Back to reading print 小王子 today and I think the audio beforehand did help me with being able to pronounce more of what I’m reading. Read like 4 chapters in one short break, another 3 chapters just now. While I don’t know how well the reading speed will translate to reading harder stuff like guardian (which was oddly also taking me 5 minutes a page? Why is that my default speed?), my reading speed doing extensive reading on “stuff mostly easy” to me has increased noticeably. (Fun fact when I read English technical text like psychology and physics books and educational etc I think my reading speed is it’s like 10-20 pages an hour... I do not read non fiction very fast).

So anyway, my goal with extensive reading easy material this month was to see if I could push UP what my starting base level “easy” material is.

What I used to do is practice with an “easier text” (which was still pretty hard for me tbh) and then once it got bearable (took 30-40 minutes to read instead of an hour), I’d switch to a harder material that took me 1-1.5 hours to read. Then when I’d burn out, I’d go back to that “easier” text until it got easier at 20-30 minutes to read. Then I might pick a harder base reading text (usually what used to be the hard one that would now take 30-40 minutes to read), and find something even harder. Lately that has been 寒舍 as my “easier” text, taking 20-30 minutes a full chapter (2 mini chapters), and 天涯客 as my harder text at 30-40ish minutes a chapter. And yes, at this point I could pick something harder but they’re both hard enough I was just sticking to them. You might notice none of these were actually easy for me though, my actual base easy materials were still graded readers, and manhua. So I want to push that upward until there’s some “easier” material below 寒舍 that I can be built up to and read easily Without a dictionary aid. So I can have a solid base that’s reliable. Hanshe is an “easier” practice material but it’s not necessarily something I can read extensively with ease. But if I keep pushing up the difficulty of what I can extensively read, bit by bit, I will eventually Get it to hanshe (or a little below it realistically but still firmly in regular-webnovel-exist at the reading level). I will not get faster at reading these hard things unless my base level of reading is both higher and already a reasonable speed. (I’m guessing anyway??).

Well happy to say this plan is working. I guess the advice articles I read were right somewhat. I knew graded readers could drag you from 0 beginner to some reading ability, since It’s what I originally did with Chinese (and even French sort of). But I was very quick about it because I’m impatient and easily bored by too-easy things apparently lol. I read 1 mandarin companion graded reader (the 300 word Sherlock Holmes one), a couple chapters of 2 other graded readers, then started on a random webnovel (the bl 他们的故事 which somehow thankfully is on the easier end for novels) and looked a lot of words up to get through. But I did not think to try to “match my reading level and increase gradually” in regular novels, even tho if it works for graded readers it probably works for regular stuff!

And in school in our native languages, that’s why our elementary schools had libraries, and we read books for our age group and the chapter books we read were much easier than what we read as teens or what adults read! I remember bunnicula and cat wings those were not hard but they were chapter stories. Then I remember Dracula and hg wells and mark Twain in high school and how they felt a bit Hard despite me being one of those kids rated at college reading level in 3rd grade. Now as a kid? I had the same tendencies I do now, so I’m not surprised I always jump in the deep end and Try to read hard stuff (and it must help since it’s part of why I got good at reading my native language, and definitely has helped my chinese and french). I would be like 7 and pick up a mitchner novel of My dad’s (is that the author of stuff like Alaska etc?) and I’d read a couple pages and feel drained trying to follow it and give up. Or the huge The Witching Hour by Anne Rice, or HG Wells History of the world, or the biography of benjamin Franklin, I never finished any of these or had any idea what they were about I just got curious and opened up a couple pages every now and then. Yet somehow that must’ve been part of why my reading level so early on was considered “good”? I’m guessing.

But I wasn’t actually good at reading in the sense of doing it often or fast until my dad started reading to me at like age 8-9 I think it was Harry Potter which at the time worked out since the books got harder each time, and also my dad reads out loud slow just like he tutors slow lol so eventually I read myself so he’d stop boring me (I love him and loved the bonding time I’m sure but truly i just apparently always liked jumping in the deep end). Eventually his strategy Im guessing to get me to read slightly harder stuff each time worked, because by books 4-5 I read each in 2 days. He was so impressed because before that I couldn’t read long books and not fast, and that’s when he thought I got good at reading. Looking back lol it’s actually so funny? How much work he had to do to get me to read and how what ended up working I still sort of do now. He started me on Hop on Pop as a kid as my first book cause One Fish Two Fish bored me and I thought jumping on a dad was funny, and he did that just to do something to get me to pick up a book lol. Then he got me that digital book toy they had back then where you had a real book but it was in a digital holder and if you clicked words with the pen it read them out loud. Literally how I learn Chinese now... he really got me digital equivalent to graded readers back then ToT. And just like as a kid I still pick up stuff way beyond my level and just read a couple pages at random. It’s just. Kind of funny to me how much I didn’t really change that much after all ToT

BACK ON THE TOPIC OF APRIL PROGRESS lol ok. I listened to Guardian ep 1 today just in the background so no subs etc and I was Floored by how much I completely understood. I’ve been listening to SpoonFed chinese again (15 audios listened to this month), but I’m floored if it made a difference?! Since I was mostly listening in the background not focusing and missing some stuff. Idk if it made a difference, or listening reading method just that 1.5 hours I did this month or what. Or if my listening skills have been this decent I just don’t test them since I usually watch shows with hard Chinese subs (and read the subs), or watch shows with English subs. So like. Anyway mejo back in what was it august 2019 when I started studying? Would be so happy. Back when I started watching guardian and only knew ni hao and xie xie and zai jian.

Also I can’t even remember now if I did extensive reading guardian (after reading the English translation), this month too or just last month. But I’m sure that helped and I should test general reading sometime of a priest novel. Like.. literally what kicked off the “I should extensive read more” this month is me Desperately wanting to kick up my reading speed after the horrific 25 page guardian chapter I read that took like 1.5 hours.

[czechforrain]

Caught up to the RWBY manga...and I’ve got opinions

CW / TW : Some discussions of implied sexual assault. 

Spoilers up to Ch 18 of the RWBY Manga and Vol 2 of the series TV show. 

So last time I commented on the manga I was just past the white fang thing with blake and I responded idk interested in how the manga took it’s approach with it. I wouldnt say positive but curious about it in a harmless way. 

THINGS REALLY FELL OFF THE RAILS. 

The manga basically speeds through the rest of volume two leaving behind major scenes and shortening the rest to where the impact of them is almost completely diminished. There are also some character differences that bear out due to the author giving people more or less focus.

The biggest changes are with Yang and Blake’s relationship. Now even if you dont like BEES, the formation of their friendship is a vital part of the show. Someone can read everything as “just friends” but them having a close relationship is inarguable. The moment where Yang confronts Blake on her single minded focus to find Roman / Adam and the White fang is this crucial moment where Yang gets through to Blake, shares her backstory and establishes a bond between them. 

It’s nowhere in the manga. IT WAS CUT. 

And it’s such a shame because up to this point you could have mis-characterized Yang as the dumb party blonde stereotype that even she would play up in the early season where it’s apparent that she’s someone who is sharp, focused and can read into people pretty well. She recognizes Blake’s anger and tells her that it isn’t wrong for her to want Justice but if she doesn’t take care of her self shell never be able to achieve it. 

Oh some other cuts. RAVEN. Just never showed up because they didn’t even fight on the train. They just kind of got to the point of train impact without facing that much obstacles before all the Grimm attacked. 

It’s really frustrating because 

1. That was an S tier Fight. 

2. It did a great job at pointing out what Yang’s weaknesses were. 

3. Introduced Raven as someone super important and powerful. 

For some reason they still have Banesaw around and he fights Blake later. It actually makes more sense he’d fight Blake than Weiss narrative-wise but that’s besides the point, it’s just kind of weird he’d just be there anyways since he wasn’t a big shot or anything. 

Oh and STRQ isnt mentioned at all. 

Ok now that we are talking about the Villains. 

Roman is weird, in the show’s he’s this dashing suave dude who’s like “ah there you are red, you’re too late hahaha” *dips but in the comic he’s got this weirdly sadistic side almost like he’s being built up to be more of a threat than what he was and a more unhinged person. He threatens murder directly a lot more and one time I even thought he threatened Neo but the paneling was just weird and he’s talking to Banesaw. Either way it seems like he’s less kind to Neo in general and since that’s literally the only person he seemed to get along with in the show that makes me care less about him besides “ 100% evil sunday morning cartoon villain” I’ll take my “80% evil sunday morning cartoon villain” thank you very much

BUT THERE IS ONE SCENE WITH HIM EVERYONE DESPISES

It’s a HORRENDOUS scene in Chapter 15 thought where 

CONTENT WARNING: Sexual Assault Implications 

Ruby gets captured, in the manga it’s because she’s trying to get back Zwei, in the show it’s because she falls into a hole. That doesn’t really matter anyways she’s tied up and well here’s the page 

followed by 

and this isn’t as bad as it was originally before pressure to change it  https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBY/comments/f2f8j9/the_controversy_regarding_rwby_manga_chapter_15/ 

This is absolutely messed up. Just going over the content you have:

“I’d love to Entertain you myself”

“Have far more pressing concerns with a human like yourself”

“Plenty of Fun to be had, I’m sure”

and then Ruby gagged, and handcuffed to a chair as a bunch of tall faceless men in long black cloaks loom over her. You could say this all is just a misunderstanding and it’s just meant to foreshadow violence as a threat but it’s just done with such a sexual assault that the most charitable take is it’s a dogwhistle to that subject matter. Anyways thaat absolutely didn’t belong in RWBY and even reading it in Viz made me double take how they set up this scene and gave it such dark implications. Not that it was a deliberate narrative writing choice because it is undone really quickly. It just comes off as edgy and gross. 

Anyways some other things: 

JNPR Saga. Jaunedice is gone and while I’m not gonna lie, it’s definitely good that we didn’t have to relive through jaune going through his “ If I keep asking, maybe i’ll eventually get a yes through persistence” arc, I really feel like the pyrrha and jaune content is also weakened and though they might have overplayed this up in the show at least it ended up working on making me a shipper. Idk it wasn’t terrible but it felt a lot more surface level here. Also Ren and Nora were here too but even less prominent. 

Speaking of the dance, Blake goes with Sun instead of Yang. Because Sun invites her under the context of “you owe me”. Even though it’s done tongue in cheek, like even manga sun would hold it against her if she refused I think that this line does a good deal of disservice to Sun and also paints him in a weird Adam-ish tone. Sun’s whole deal is that he’s about unconditional kindness, he likes blake but he wouldnt want her to go with him unless she wanted it for herself. Leaning into the “haha let’s just say you owe me” leans more into something that Adam would use a source of manipulation. 

Oobleck: Is given a major glow up and actually ends up doing a lot in the end to the point at times it almost seems like it’s his story. He pulls of 300 IQ moves and ended up coordinating all the hunters and huntresses to the point of the breach based on the direction the wind was blowing and schematics he saw through someone’s pocket. Ok that’s an exaggeration but not by that much. The author is a fanboy over him and it’s good for memes but I’d argue it doesn’t improve the story by making him a more important character. I guess cool to see him fight a little bit more but it was kind of odd when he stunts on everyone so damn much. 

The fighting in general has some weak panelling except for a few scenes where it’s showing impact. The light as hell inking style makes it kind of annoying when there’s multiple people in one fight against a big target and you have to differentiate everyone and how people move from place to place. The way your eyes are supposed to move while reading a fight and how character motion transfers through panels. 

Neat informative video about that: https://youtu.be/zFFru4q_4H8?t=420 (whole video but I started at the point where they talk about panelling)

The art style is unique and i’ll give it that but too often it seems a bit more contrast and thicker lines would really benefit the series. Even when I was enjoying it, I still had these concerns. It’s just annoying when the artist is generally pretty good but you gotta zoom in to see certain things and all of that. 

So yeah, i’ve been disappointed in the later chapters to say the least and that’s incredibly incriminating when I wasn’t even that big of a fan of this adaptation to start with. I thought that maybe it could have been a loose reinterpretation for someone who was put off by V1/V2 animation standards/ wanted to get through the series even quicker but I couldn’t in good conscience recommend this as an alternative for the main series anymore. And that’s a shame. Luckily this all ends with V2 so we won’t have to worry about what else would be cut, shortened or ignored from the main series and we can focus on the actual show which all of love...or like at the least. 

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #9

Weird brag but OK.

This is probably the first issue where I realized something bigger was happening. Until now, Cerebus was eight single issue stories with some slight history building. We did get a recurrence of Elrod but that was more "The fans really responded to this guy who is easy to write! Let's get him right back in there!" and less "I'm building continuity!" Sure, the last three issues were all part of a linear narrative in a way the first few were not: Cerebus learns of a treasure, Cerebus hunts the treasure, Cerebus is found hallucinating from a fever and poison caused by a wound while hunting the treasure. But I didn't say this was the first issue in which Dave Sim begins making Cerebus into something more than one shot sword and sorcery parody stories; I said it was the first issue when I realized that that was happening! Mostly because Cerebus found himself in charge of an army last issue and, in this issue, he makes use of that army. We get to see Cerebus' ambitions growing. And by the end, we get to see him deal with failure and a major setback to that ambition. In a way, we learn maybe Cerebus actually yearns for more than just gold so that he can buy ale. Cerebus gets a taste of power in this issue. He also finds it a headache but that won't stop him. This is kind of a microcosm of what will happen to him in High Society and Church & State. The "A Note from the Publisher" is once again called "A Note from the Publisher" and not "Note from the Publisher." Is this the kind of thing other comic book critics wouldn't be concerned with when reviewing a comic book? Is this the sort of concern that proves these reviews are more about me than the comic book?! I'd probably let it go if the "A Note from the Publisher" had anything to say worth discussing. It does not. Let's move on. Dave Sim's essay backs up the thoughts I had when I first read this issue. It seems I'm better at comprehension than "9th grade level." Take that, you stupid standardized tests!

This is usually where I say something like "Grandmaster Comic Book Reader!" But shouldn't I just amend that to "Grandmaster Thinker and Philosopher and All Around Total Genius"?

It scares me that there are people who exist who believe the exact opposite things that I do and yet do so with the exact same confidence. How can they be so confident in being so wrong about everything?! In Dave's essay, he points out that Imesh, the place Cerebus lays siege to in this issue, was the city where an adolescent Cerebus grew up and studied magic under Magus Doran. Is this something who reads 300 issues of Cerebus learns? Or is this just Sim's own background knowledge, or maybe something that appeared in one of the many Cerebus short comics that appeared in various places over the years? Why didn't Dave ever publish an additional Cerebus phonebook called the The Apocrypha? No, don't answer that! I think it's for the same reason we aren't allowed complete episodes of Beavis and Butthead with their music video commentary. Too many other artists and writers participated in many of the side stories which probably cause a huge headache when it comes to publishing rights and royalties. Cerebus leads his new army to conquer Imesh because what else are you going to do with an army? Not conquer a nearly impregnable fortress city?

"Imesh was the nickname of my last girlfriend which only confused her" is a joke I wouldn't make because it's so tacky.

Cerebus leads his large army right up to the city wall because Imesh doesn't post guards on the South wall. Why? Because nobody has ever taken it from the rear! Aren't you paying attention? You might think part of the reason why nobody has ever taken Imesh from the rear is that they have at least one guard on watch to warn everybody when Imesh is being taken from the rear. But maybe the real truth is that Cerebus is a terrible leader and he just got lucky that, unbeknownst to Cerebus, K'cor, the leader of Imesh, has closed off the city entirely and drugged all of its citizens into obedience. Cerebus leaves his troops behind in frustration and climbs the city walls to find out what's going on. He discovers the entire city has been demolished, replaced by small buildings up against the city walls and a large monument being built in the city center. Cerebus' plans for conquering the city give way to solving this mystery.

The amount of times I've decided to try solving a mystery only to have a beautiful woman approach me to explain everything can be counted on no hands.

Of course the amount of times a woman has challenged me to chase her have 100% been traps so Cerebus deserves to get locked in a cage for going after her. K'cor, apparently having nothing better to do because his drug-addled slaves do everything, was waiting in the darkness outside the cell to appear dramatically and reveal his plans to Cerebus! He's really mighty proud of drugging everybody into submission so that they'll do his will. If only his will were more ambitious than building a giant stone monument to communicate with aliens.

Is it a coincidence that both "buz" and "Fox" have three letters?!

I suppose CNN also has three letters but they fail in a far less spectacular way than Fox does. Fox is pure propaganda. CNN is just a bunch of pseudo-journalists and reporters too frightened of being labeled biased to actually report the news unbiased. And yet they still get labeled biased! You'd think they'd learn a lesson from that. Unless maybe they don't care about learning lessons and have decided they're probably making the maximum amount of revenue from ads that they can make with their wishy-washy brand of "news." Hey! K'cor is just "rock" backwards! I don't know if that means anything. His consort, Sedra, is "ardes" backwards and I know that doesn't mean anything! Unless I'm ignorant of what an "ardes" is! I hate being confronted with my own ignorance though so I'm going to pretend I never doubted myself. K'cor informs Cerebus that the Venusians are going to invade the world (Earth, I guess, but a fictionalized one?) and the monument he's building will be the only defense therefore the populace has to be drugged to save the world. Which means K'cor is way more like Fox News than even I previously believed. Cerebus explains to K'cor that he came to conquer the city and impress the populace into his army. K'cor, being an arrogant blowhard, makes a wager with Cerebus. If Cerebus can defeat K'cor's champion, Cerebus can have the people of Imesh. But if K'cor wins, he'll get Cerebus' men. Of course the Conniptins are already as good as dead and K'cor knows this. He doesn't plan to take the fight to the end; he's just killing time until he's sure the Conniptins have all drunk from the poisoned wells surrounding the city. To get to the battle with Imesh's champion, Cerebus must navigate a corridor full of deadly magic balls. He just manages it and finds himself facing a Panrovian swordsman. Apparently Panrovy is the butt of all the jokes of every other race in Estarcion so Cerebus gets a chance to ridicule the poor fellow into making a ton of mistakes in battle. Cerebus humiliates the man just before killing him. But that wasn't the champion! The champion Cerebus must defeat is K'cor in full plate armor! An impossible task for a nearly exhausted Earth Pig! Except this comic book isn't called K'cor; it's called Cerebus! So it's not surprising when K'cor eventually relents before Cerebus' incredible wrath and obvious skill. But he doesn't surrender the wager. He merely calls it off, letting Cerebus know that the Conniptins are almost certainly dead by now. Cerebus screams in frustration although you'd expect he'd be used to it after nine issues of his story ending with him no better off or worse than when he started. No letters came in this month so there is no Aardvark Comments! That couldn't have been a good sign to a struggling independent comic book creator! The single page story is called "A Single Page" and it's a story about an artist drawing a single page comic book for Cerebus Bi-weekly and coming up with nothing. Is that meta? Or post-modern? Or is it just lazy? I suppose showing how lazy a writer/artist is is meta and post-modern. So I guess it's all three? Cerebus #9 Rating: A. As I noted, this issue got the ball rolling on the idea of what this comic book could be about. Or maybe the ball was already kind of rolling but this issue gave it a little more direction and speed. I can feel the beginnings of the epic in this story. And it's a story well-told and well-plotted! You get some background on Cerebus, you get a conflict, you get a resolution that doesn't really make anybody happy (which is great swords and sorcery story telling, right?). Plus you get commentary on current social issues like tyranny and drugs and chasing women into government traps! Plus things only get better! I think the grading system might eventually need grades better than an "A" if that's the case.

[adrenalineguide]

2019’s Top Rides: Part 3/Buick Regal GS, Subaru Ascent and Golf R

By Michael Hozjan

Buick Regal GS AWD: Buick gets it right

At 12, I wanted to be a car designer. Fate however had different plans for me. With an eye for automotive design, I grew up loving Buicks; from the ’57 Special to the ’59 Invicta, with the ’64 Wildcat stealing my heart time and again. Cadillacs took a close second, Fords were ok but I found Chevs too feminine. Buicks, were masculine with broad shouldered front fenders and creased lines, personifying the designing cues of GM greats, Harley Earl and Bill Mitchell.

Then came the Riviera. One snowy December afternoon as I headed to my post office, there on St. Lawrence Boulevard, with six inches of snow on the ground sat a ’65 Riviera. My heart skipped several beats and I must have studied its lines for what seemed like an eternity.

Well into the ‘70s there were some noteworthy designs that came out of Buick’s design studios however, the last four decades have been anything but exciting. That has all changed with the launch of the Regal GS – the sexiest Buick to come out of Detroit in, well the last four decades.    

The Grand Sport designation is nothing new to the Buick line up, having been associated with ‘70s era muscle cars but this is the first time that it has been used in a European sports sedan context. The stylish GS goes up against some well established rivals like the Acura TLX, Lexus ES, BMW 3 series and the like, a tough field to say the least. The Regal GS is more than just good looks, it’s a bona fide sports sedan. In fact a rebadged, German built, Opel Insignia, so the GS starts with the right genes. European engineered handling makes it the best tarmac gripping Buick ever.

Red Brembo brake calipers immediately tell everyone that this is not your typical Buick.

While different drive options/trim levels are available elsewhere around the globe, we Canucks get only one trim/drive option- also the most desirable one - the all-wheel-drive version motivated by the 310 horsepower DOHC, 3.6L V6 with variable valve timing punching out 282 lb-ft of torque through a 9-speed automatic.  

Entry price is $44,045, my tester came with the Buick Experience Package ($3,495) that included the moonroof, a Bose premium 8-speaker sound system, wireless charging, an 8” touch screen, HD radio, LED leveling headlights, The Driver Confidence Package (yes you read that right) at $1,995 includes adaptive cruise, forward collision alert with automatic braking, lane keep assist, front pedestrian braking and heads up display. The Ebony Twilight Metallic paint was a premium option at $495.

The all-wheel-drive gets a torque vectoring rear axle, which only improves traction in slippery conditions and makes the Buick eat up the corners. Buick has also given us three driving modes to choose from, Touring, Sport and GS 

Inside you’ve got one color choice, black. The supportive Recaros have a massage feature as well as being heated/cooled. Both driver’s and passenger seats have 14 adjustments to suit your body, including adjustable bolsters. Following with the German sport sedan traits, it includes a flat-bottomed steering wheel.

Rear seat passengers get ample legroom, but headroom is tight for taller occupants. With 30.cu.ft of space under the hatch with the rear seats up, with over 60 cu.ft with the rear seats folded, it betters many compact crossovers!

Is it perfect?

Non-functional air intakes in the front valance are mickey-mouse and a step backwards. Why not leave them open and help cool the brakes? No spare tire but a useless tire fix kit –that’ll help when you have a blow out or bend a wheel on Quebec’s pot holes. On the comical side, the audio system had mixed up the Cirius station numbers it’s 60s on 6 and not 660s on six….and the same could be said for 50s on 5 not 550s on 5, as well as 70s, 80s and 90s.

You can go through the gears manually with the console mounted shifter but paddle shifters would have been a nice touch to compliment the smooth 9-speed automatic.

Will the GS steal buyers away from BMW? I hardly doubt it but it does give of us a formidable option to keep our performance dollars with domestic manufacturers, and the GS buyer has nothing to be apologetic for. 

 Price as tested: $52,050*

*Includes destination charges and a/c excise tax

 Subaru Ascent: If at first you don’t succeed…

If you thought that Subaru already had a large SUV you’re right. The magic word here being had. The B9 Tribeca, later shortened to just Tribeca debuted in 2005 to, lets just say a less than stellar sales, and by 2014 had moved into the automotive history books of what once was.

It takes guts to admit that you were wrong, and it takes even big cojones to come back with a similar sized vehicle. Truth be told the SUV market has also changed over the last decade with SUVs growing increasingly larger, just like the population. Subaru appears to have been ahead of its time back in 2005 when 3-row SUV’s didn’t proliferate our roads, and minivans still reigned supreme for getting the platoon to school. But times have changed and so the new Ascent is the company’s answer to the latest trend.

The Ascent is also Subaru’s largest vehicle to date, with 142 mm longer wheelbase and 134 mm longer in length than the Tribeca, so yes passenger comfort has been greatly increased. The midsize SUV is built on the company’s Global Platform, a chassis that is easily adaptable; serving as the basis for everything from their Impreza and Crosstrek to the Ascent.

Available in four trim levels – Convenience, Touring, Limited and Premier - with the entry level 8-passenger Convenience starting at a meager $36,695. Regardless of trim, there’s a new 2.4L direct-injected, turbocharged boxer four cylinder dolling out 260 horses and 277 lb-ft of torque through the High-torque Lineartronic CVT (continuously variable transmission).   

Talk to anyone who’s ever driven a Subie in less than ideal conditions and they’ll swear by the symmetrical full-time all-wheel-drive system. A new feature, X-Mode, pushes the traction envelope even further; at the push of a button, it monitors and controls four different vehicle dynamics, including engine, transmission, torque splitting and braking.

There’s a lot of standard driver-assistance technology in each Ascent without having to step up to trim levels, Items like automated emergency braking and lane-keeping assist through the company’s EyeSight system. The base model gets a 6.5 inch infotainment screen while upper trim buyers will see an 8 inch screen. GPS however is only available in the two higher end trims (Limited and Premier). Both Touring and Limited are available in either seven or eight passenger configurations with captain’s chairs taking up the second row. My tester, the Premier trim comes only with the second row captains chairs. While all trims get heated front buckets it’s only the two higher trims that pamper their second row passengers with heated outboard seats. The third row looks a lot more inviting than some of it’s competitors but it’s still on the tight side with limited leg room. Still bear in mind this is a mid-size seven passenger and the seats are padded and comfortable to keep the small fry happy for longer drives. Oh and a pair of third-row USB charging ports become available in the Limited trim and are in addition to the standard two you’ll find in the front and second rows.

Rear cover blind and tow loop are stowed neatly under the cargo bay’s floor, the latter an option on some pricier suvs

.

Whether you’re out in the boonies or negotiating city streets, the Ascent doesn’t feel like a large bulky SUV. With above average handling and a minimum of body roll for a three-row SUV, Subaru’s use of the boxer engine and its advantageous low center of gravity immediately become apparent. It’s stable, with a soft luxurious ride and is generally quiet during normal highway cruising. But it does get loud when pushed hard.

Is it perfect?

The drone of the CVT does get annoying but once you get passed that, the Ascent is typically Subaru; it does everything what it’s supposed to and does it well. I averaged 9.8L/100 km which is unprecedented in a 7-passenger sport ute. It may not be overly luxurious but you get what you pay for. I know my Subaru driving friends will all be looking at the Ascent when the time comes to turn in their current drives, and that alone will keep this big Subaru around for a long time to come.

Price as tested: $52,795*

* Includes destination charges

Volkswagen Golf R: You’ll want one

If you’ve missed my installment of the Rabbit GTI, I urge you to scroll down the page and have a read.

Now take the GTI and turn it up a notch, or three. The formula for the Golf R is very simple; take one German built spacious hatchback that already has solid, tight handling, and add gobbs of turbocharged horses to a 2.0L inline four cylinder. How many ponies? Two eighty-eight to be exact – enough to propel you well past the posted speed limit in less time than it takes you to say posted speed limit. Now stir in all-wheel drive to put all that power to the ground. Slam it to the ground for added handling. Dress it up with killer 19” wheels.

Choose between the 6-speed manual available for $42,495 or the 7-speed dual clutch automatic with Tiptronic for $43,895. Now go have the most fun you can with your clothes on.

Doesn’t look like it but there’s nearly 300 horses in there

Quad exhaust tips tell you this is no ordinary Golf

The Golf R is everything you want in a performance sedan and then some. It makes no sense in a country with posted speed limits, but then neither do Porches, Ferraris and the like.   

Price as tested: $49, 290*

*Includes destination charges and a/c excise tax

[ashleaannya]

The 2200, Chapter 1

Everything for Kamiya started with a deep breath. She took a deep breath before writing her hit single “Marketplace,” an semi-autobiographical Indy rock ballad about how men (her exes) treated women’s bodies like a grocery store. It was a hit. “It resonated” was how Billboard described her riffs and runs about feeling like, quote, a “man’s meat market”, with no say in how she should be loved. That was five years, two Grammy’s and three tours ago. She still took a deep breath before approaching the microphone, before recording herself in the studio, and before giving her fans the BTS (Behind The Scenes) content her 35 million fans craved—no, demanded.

           “Let’s do this,” Kamiya said to her herself, breathing deeply and sitting on the goose feather bed in her presidential hotel suite. She adjusted her DSLR camera to better frame her upper body and flipped the lamps on the hotel suite’s end tables. The tripod creaked with newness as she made the micro-adjustments to get her and her hotel suite backdrop in perfect focus. It was a little dark, but it would fit the mood she was about to create for her fans.

           Her phone pinged and vibrated beside her as another thousand comments on her social media rang through. Text messages burst through as people who wanted her money, attention or both made their voices heard in all capital letters, exclamation points and emojis. Without looking away from the camera flip screen, Kamiya reached beside her and powered her phone off. She glanced over at her hotel door, looking at the silk and gold furnishings and designer dresses hanging on a rolling rack. Rows of flowers from athletes, and fellow musicians wanting to sleep with her wilted on a glass dining table designed to seat twelve. No one ever ate there. It was a reservoir for gifts and miscellaneous stuff. She lived in this room now. The floor of this hotel was more her space more than the three homes she paid ghastly mortgages. Kamiya’s eyes lingered on the cream colored double doors, making sure it was locked. What she was about to do would cause her team to beat her door off the antique hinges. By then it would be too late.

           The camera’s light flickered and then settled on a bright amber. Kamiya knotted her fingers in her lap seeing the word “REC” blink in the upper corner of the screen. It was time. She had already left written, detailed instructions for her manager, accounting team, design team, social media team, and news outlets she wanted to break the story. The courier would deliver her instructions in exactly one hour. The timing mattered. Her wishes were explicit and once her video aired, the necessary parties would have no choice but to honor her demands. There would be nothing to second-guess. The video especially would be very clear. She practiced how she would do it and even recorded herself doing mock versions of the act to make sure she would not loose her nerve.

           “You got this, Miya.”

           Kamiya also knew that nothing else “groundbreaking” would be going on in the social media sphere that would distract from her message. The good thing about being connected was other celebrities in her circle and members of famous teams (say a stylists or nanny) told her what dates to avoid. For example, when Kamiya’s second album was set to drop on Sept 1st, a friend of a friend whispered that she should not use that date because TMZ was about to report on an impending divorce. Divorces in her world were common enough, but this divorce was a megachurch pastor and there was digital evidence the break-up of his marriage was due to a transgendered mistress who had a massive social media following. Needless to say, she changed the date. Her album release would have been overshadowed and her release week would have been abysmal. She released a week earlier to the delight of her voracious following and debuted at number one on the Pop charts. The same connections would today make sure her choice went viral. This was her one life. She should get to live her life on her own terms. A tear fell down her cheeks, realizing that her freedom was on the other side of this post. She would have her body back, her mind, her music, her voice. Should she go live instead? That way people knew it was real.

           Kamiya jumped up off the bed and grabbed her laptop. She would record both. Just in case.

           “Hey guys,” Kamiya said, waving at the screen.

           The numbers in her Live Chat jumped from 300 to 3,000 to 2 million instantly. Kamiya swallowed. Her mouth was dry and her hands were damp with sweat. Texts jumped up on the bottom of the screen as her followers flooded the Live Chat with emojis, declarations of love, and sexual comments that would make a porn star blush.

           “Whoa, whoa, guys, this is going to be quick so I can’t answer a million questions right now—um, guys, whoa, um, no, no I can’t do a video chat with anyone. Thank you though that went bad last time,” Kamiya said, laughing awkwardly.

           She glanced up to make sure her camera was still recording. It was.

           “Ok. I have an announcement. I wanted to record it and make it all fancy, but my career started here, right?”

           Thumbs up emojis and hearts flooded the screen in unison. She smiled and tears pricked at her eyes, but she coughed and rubbed her eyes into her sleeves. People were commenting about how they had followed her since abandoned building days.

           “Wow, that’s a throwback. Um, for those who don’t know, let me explain all of the abandoned buildings comments.”

           Kamiya sat up and twisted her long curly extensions in around her fingers. She dug her nails into her spray-tanned legs, leaving pink nail marks. She was already black, but her team told her, going a shade darker would make her skin look even and was the ideal skin tone for her audience.

           “Ok. So most of the videos have been deleted because, well, I was fat then.”

           That comment was met with encouraging remarks and angry emojis. She felt relieved at that response. Then as if reading her mind, onscreen comments appeared. Some people were proud of her ‘healthy weight loss journey’. This pride flooded the comments. She ignored them. She was thin now with the dimensions of a doll, narrow waist and all. She ate 400 calories per day and had more cosmetic surgeries than a Kardashian. She was discrete about them and timed everything so it looked more believable, but nothing was healthy about her new body.

           “Um, yea. I actually started on social media for singing in abandoned buildings with my sister. She would record me singing in old churches and subways and other random places that were technically condemned but had great acoustics. That’s how I build my fan base and YouTube channel. A lot of people think it was from Marketplace, my first single, but I didn’t get attention until after my Abandoned Concerts page went viral or whatever.”

           The comments zoomed by so fast she could barely ready them. The emojis were all wide-mouthed shocked faces and then there were demands for her to post the old videos. Kamiya shook her head and laughed. She did not want to see her old body ever again. Kamiya froze seeing a familiar handle enter the Live Chat. It was @Camera_Cat, her sister. She was in the hotel lobby grabbing dinner and would likely be banging on her door at any moment. Everyone knew that Kamiya hated going live so Cat would be giving her the Catrina patent “WTF” face.

           “Okay, guys, real quick. I have an announcement,” Kamiya said, straightening her back and lowering her voice. She had to say this seriously or people would think she was playing a game. As you all know, I hate social media and, like, hardly ever post, because—well, let’s keep this all the way real, okay. You guys are trash.”

           Question marks and angry and shocked emojis flooded the screen at lightning speed. Kamiya smirked ready to drop every bomb in her arsenal before the grand finale.

           “Yes, you are. Half of you lie to yourself and to others every day and will never accomplish your dreams because you are inconsistent and talentless. There. Now you know.”

           Kamiya jumped hearing rapid knocking on her hotel room. She pulled her laptop closer and swallowed. She could hear her sister calling her name.

           “I don’t care if it hurts your feelings. It’s true. You aren’t loyal to yourself or your dreams so why should I expect you to be loyal to me or care about my mental health. I have done so much and sacrificed so much to make you bastards happy. I’m literally so damn lost right now I barely recognize myself. I hate having you guys around me.”

           Some of the comments were consolatory and others were curses and name-calling. Kamiya did not care. She was right and she would show them.

           “If half of you were forced to be honest about how jealous you are of my life before you could comment on my posts, you would never hate on me. You hate me because your dreams are dead and your work ethic is trash. Do you have any idea what I go through to be here. I’m supposed to be nice to you hateful bitches when you are all collective trash.”

           The banging on the door sounded like thunder. Muffled yelling echoed outside of the room. The voices were getting louder and Kamiya was glad the deadbolt was on because her sister and manager had keys to her room. Well, technically, they could access her room through the hotel app. The app could not work against a deadbolt and an old fashioned chain.

           “I’m being honest when I say I hate most of you. I wish you never heard of me. I wish I never shared my music with you. You don’t deserve me. I give so much to you people. You people who are supposed to be the woke generation. I hope you die alone.”

           Kamiya sat back and watching as the number of people watching her quadrupled. Screenshots of her and clips of her ‘rant’ would be viral in seconds. She smiled ready for the final blow.

           “Effective immediately, my social media is closed. My website is closed. My brands are closed. I am closed. You hear me? You no longer have access to me. You all have officially been fired from being my fans.”

           The word ‘no’ with about a hundred Os flooded the screen, followed by side-eye emojis and comments about her going crazy.

           “There is one exception,” Kamiya took a deep breath. “Moving forward, I am only accessible to 2200 loyal fans. I will hand select these people. If you look at my main page now, you will see that no one is following me and I am following no one. You will also notice that all of my posts are now gone. In one hour, my page will be private, so get your screen shots now. Yes, I’m talking to you Shade Room.”

           The number of people watching her, now exceeding the number of followers she had ever had on any platform. Tears pricked her eyes realizing she finally had their attention. The same question kept popping up: “How do I join the 2200?”

           “You don’t join. I choose you.”

           Kamiya slammed the laptop closed and fell backward on the overstuffed pillows of her European king bed. Phase one was complete. Now on to phase two.

[vacationcalendar]

7/18/21

Good morning Max!

So.

We are steadfastly embarking here on a blogging journey only about 3 entire weeks after we had this fantastic idea. One might argue that a *start* to an endeavor can’t be steadfast; steadfast is a pace that is maintained over a period of time, it indicates a consistency that can’t be identified after mere seconds of typing. But I would argue that that steadfast pace is going a certain speed, and we as a society have a collective idea of how fast that speed is, whether we’ve ever said it out loud or not. And I believe it is that speed at which I am embarking. So there. You bear with me and try to visualize THAT idea, and I’ll try and learn more words so we don’t have to keep having these little thought experiments every paragraph or so.

OK GREAT! WE’RE OFF! I have literally taken two full length breaks since I’ve started writing this. Why was I so scared to get this thing started anyway? Writing comes so naturally to me, like breathing, or shitting. I can’t believe people actually get paid to do this.

Alright, in all honesty, I know this is going to be wildly difficult for me to do with any consistency at all, much less DAILY (good lord...). So in order to make this a more surmountable task, we are going to make the topics and form that the blog takes on a little more free flowing than I might initially want them to be. We don’t care how the river is shaped at this very moment, just so long as there is water flowing down it.

Here are some creative writing projects constantly hanging over my head that might just rear their ugly heads in some form or another during these posts: Comedy Sketches Stand-up bits Segments/ideas for my eternally unfinished novel Standalone essays that I think would work as a youtube video, because of course an introverted depressed guy who thinks he’s interesting in 2021 wants to have a youtube channel. Etc.(?)

There, I finished the list with etc., even though I had no more concrete ideas for creative writing projects. That makes the list instantly 300% more official, and doesn’t paint me as wildly unconfident in my own personality AT ALL. I did mention to my mother that I was working on assorted creative writing projects to keep busy, and she immediately asked, “Oh! Like a [auto]biography?”

She’s pretty confident that I’ve got a bestseller on my hands if I just recounted the sad and lonely details of my life up until this point. She also called it a biography as indicated in my direct quote there, and I tried to fix it in post like any good editor would. But now I’m noticing that “fixing” the quote to say autobiography like she *meant* to say changes the proper article before the word from “a” to “an,” and I have no idea what the protocol for that correction would be...

Maybe it’s [an auto]biography? An [auto]biography? Maybe it’s [an autobiography], but then it’s much less clear what my mother’s initial mistake in vocabulary was, and I don’t want to let her off the hook so easily. Maybe I google this later, if I can think of what the hell you would type into google to find an answer to this. I guess my point bringing this up at all, is maybe I do actually try and use this space occasionally for a journal. Wading through the slimy, fetid bog of my younger days sounds extremely unfun, and, to a point of contention with my well-meaning mother, distinctly unprofitable. But unpacking my current self’s thoughts onto this page periodically does actually sound nice.

And this is a trade secret between you and me (you’re the only one reading this Max, sorry), I think it would behoove you to include several autobiographical moments in your perpetually ethereal novel. You need all the cheat codes you can get to get this wretched thing off the ground. We should lock the name in on that sucker by the way, just to help save you some keystrokes at least. I know I wrote down ‘Elements of War’ a loooong time ago as a placeholder. And I can confirm as of Sunday, July 18 2021, I don’t like it. It’s no good. I look at other titles of other stories, looking for inspiration, and they all seem to work just fine for the story their attached to. Harry Potter is just the name of the main guy, and that worked INCREDIBLY well. “Harry Potter and the [insert magic themed adventure keywords here].” Foolproof.

The main problem I have with a title is simply the fact that I know so little about the contents of my book at this point. It stands to reason that the book should find a title for itself as part of the process of actually writing the book. Seeing the events transpire in the story from a bird’s eye view would give you just about everything you could possibly need to title your book. Choosing a title for a story BEFORE the story really exists feels a bit like working backwards, even though the title would technically be the first thing anyone reads. I guess I could see it plausibly being created in either order. You don’t necessarily need to know the entire story you are setting out to tell to understand the story you’ve shown up to tell. Breaking Bad ostensibly didn’t know many of the finer details of its story before Vince Gilligan picked its title. Hell, it didn’t know many of its details before literally airing on TV. And there was never any consideration of changing the title of the show retroactively, once the showrunners figured out the ending, right? Stories need a title. And I don’t think I’m making some irredeemable authorial error by picking out a title before getting too far into my story-writing process. Although I’m often reminded of the They Might be Giants song “Experimental Film” when I dream up things like titles or dramatic plot points or the like:

“I already know the ending, It’s the part that makes your face implode, I don’t know what makes your fact implode, But that’s the way the movie ends.”

We all want that awesome moment. We all want to create that life changing piece of art. But creating is hard, and dreaming is easy. Or rather, dreaming is natural. We all have a dream at night, we get one simply by virtue of being awake. Understanding the dream, communicating the dream is hard. Hell, communicating anything can be hard. Part of me thinks that creative project that will define my legacy (wow, try unpacking that sentence later buddy) will be an interview show where I work with my guest to try and manifest the story they dream of telling in there head, but have never tried to tell it. Tell me that’s not a million dollar idea! If Ira Glass announced that show next week and Barack Obama was his first guest, you better believe that thing’s taking off like the fucking Quinjet from the Avengers. But you wouldn’t even need a big celebrity guest! I believe that literally everyone has the ingredients of a completely unique story kicking around in their heads. And to conclude this thought, I will often times pretend I’m the guest on this podcast (of course it’s a podcast), and I’ll try to play out what that interview would sound like. And I’ll be honest, that show would need a VERY smart host to keep the flow going. And in my interview fantasy, I’m also the host; so it’s admittedly hard. I think the “Experimental Film” song would be the theme song for that show for SO MANY reasons.

Ok, I’ll be honest. I took yet another break in the middle of that last paragraph, and I may have lost the thread a teeny-tiny bit. So I’m going to try and finish out any relevant thoughts and then I’m going to do a hard break and just move on to a completely new thought.

I actually had an idea of what my (at least for now) title should be. ~The Franz Lion~ This is the name of the ship in the story that all the main characters travel on. This is the primary setting for the majority of AT LEAST the first series of events in the book. I imagine if my story moved far away from the boat, by that point I could that “Part 2,” or it could be like a whole second book. Like the first book is called The Franz Lion, but then a new book comes out and you find out the series is called like “The Greatest Windybilly”; and Book 2 is like “The Drowned.” I don’t know, and I don’t care at this moment. I just know that all signs point to “The Franz Lion” as a fine title for this book. I admittedly can see a world where it’s more of a phrase, like “Aboard the Franz Lion” or “Weaver and the Franz Lion”, but right now, I don’t see something like that being better than just “The Franz Lion”. 

The Franz Lion is one of the VERY FEW things that I feel like I’ve hit a home run on. That to me is a fucking great name for a boat. It’s memorable, unique, easy to get on board with. I am aware that the boat from Legend of Zelda: Windwaker was named “the King of Red Lions”, so it’s not COMPLETELY unique. But I’m pretty confident that there is plenty of real estate in the Lions + Boats territory. So confident, in fact, that I’m locking that name in HARD. And then the name of the boat just works great as a title. Literally no one would be confused or lost or tempted to look too far into it. AND THEN, if they did look into it, I think there would be puh-lenty of symbolism and theming to pull out of the boat’s significance in the characters’ lives. And man, I know we talked about autobiographical elements, that’s unmistakable; which I am legitimately happy about. Fran Lyon was a HUGE figure in my life. Our relationship signified a change in my life that I literally was never able to come back from. And using that as inspiration for a ship that literally carries the main character away on a life-changing adventure seems like as great a place as any in trying to tell MY story. One day I can be Kurt Vonnegat-like good at writing stories, and I won’t have to borrow from real life to make convincing plots and characters, but for now this makes all the sense in the world to me. So, yeah, The Franz Lion. It exists in my head and one day it will exist on paper. And then I can die I guess. Wouldn’t that be nice? I look forward to trying to bring a teensy bit to you on your calendar here. Wish me luck!

----------------------------------------------------

Ok that was the break. This wasn’t THAT hard. Thank God. Cuz we have to do a lot more than this to be satisfied. We quit our job on my 30th birthday in part because the notion that I was missing the chance to do *this* was constantly gnawing at the back of our head. Honestly the fact that I literally forgot that this was the writing project I was supposed to be doing for like 18 days may just be a testament to how hard I had been trying to just read. 

I bundled writing with reading when I decided that I needed to be writing more. I said, well writing IS reading, and I can’t just sit down and read for shit. So if I’m going to really put writing at the forefront of my brain, I’m going to have to read too, dammit. And then I tried to sit down and read for, no joke, 2 entire weeks. And it fucking killed me. Unbelievable. Unbelievable how hard it was to incorporate into my life. I still don’t get it. So I quit with the intention of picking up these habits. And then I would evaluate how fulfilling it all felt, before I continued onto my path of adult life. You know, working, trying to meet new people, idk what else.... etc. And now that I can confirm how hard it has been to really stick to this and grind out being creative, all I know at this point is I’m not ready to go back. I can tell I want to be more competent at all this before I can make an assessment on what role being creative will play for my future. Seemingly my whole life I have teetered back and forth between wanting to be creative and being too scared to really try, and wanting to have the full life that hard work gets you; you know, the life that society sculpts for you. A wife, kids, vacations, cooking, friends, parties, movies. It’s not a matter of figuring out how it all works, it’s just a matter of going out grinding it all out. Securing it all piece by piece by putting in the requisite work. It’s not easy, but it’s also not complicated. And I guess ultimately I like to think I’m not someone who’s afraid of hard work. But if I’m not afraid of hard work, then why have I not put in the work to secure a career or friends or a partner or physical fitness or anything? Because I don’t want to? Do I really not want to? Or maybe I AM afraid of hard work. 

But let’s take a second to unpack that. I put in hard work at Olivia’s. I truly did. I worked hard enough there to qualify as working hard, period. And it felt good. I know this. I shouldn’t forget that. I worked hard, it wasn’t impossible; it wasn’t unsustainable. And it felt good. This is mostly why I tell myself I’m not afraid of hard work. Because it’s not some dark mysterious unknown entity. I’ve been on the other side of it now. It’s the main reason I didn’t think I HAD to be creative anymore. I’ve seen the whole path of hard work, and it actually looked traversable. I sometimes wonder if I had been so drawn to being creative because I was so afraid of travelling on the path of hard honest work. It would explain why it felt so good to actually work hard for once. It would explain why the idea of abandoning the creative path felt so good once I had it. I would imagine the idea of quitting “comedy” would be a pretty mournful one, to someone like me who had clung so desperately to that dream for so long. But it wasn’t. It was a relief in a way. To know that I didn’t have to pull out some wild success in this tumultuous field to be ok; it felt like taking off a heavy backpack. I just felt more capable, more free. The simple act of allowing myself to “quit” felt ok simply by virtue of spending years of my life thinking I couldn’t do ANYTHING, and that being creative was the only way to be ok with the prospect of being alive. Thinking about abandoning that dream told me I was more normal than I had managed to be for over a decade at this point. I looked up for the first time since I had been in college and had the thought that I could work hard and succeed, whatever that might mean. College was the place I first realized I was useless, and now Olivia’s was where I realized that that wasn’t true, I just wasn’t old enough yet. I am aging much slower than the average population; I haven’t exactly figure out why yet. But it’s clear that I am. And for better or worse, this is THE factor that has cast me aside from the le person. Figuring out why would be nice, but the truly important thing to do clearly is to use this to my advantage. Get my leg up the world with my unique vantage point. And as far as I can tell, in fact it seems quite obvious to me, my leg up is going to come from a creative outlet. A twenty year old having his 30th birthday is only going to have diminishing returns in the traditional American dream. It’s like getting paid 70% of what my peers are making. Part of me knows that even 70% of the full salary isn’t that bad. It’s plenty if you’re a hard worker and know how to live in the moment; but another part of me knows that only a fool should take less than he’s earned. I don’t actually know if I can make up all this time I’ve lost, being the proverbial time traveler that I am. I don’t know how on earth I would ACTUALLY go about recouping my salary back to its rightful 100%. I can’t manifest lifelong friends; I can’t rewrite my relationship to my parents and siblings; I can’t pick up 10+ years of romantic experiences from a youtube video. I could technically go back to college, but I don’t really want to. I only want to do that as much as I want to hop in a time machine and actually be the age I’m supposed to. 

Now that I think about it, if there was a story about a man who accidentally travels to the future and the finds out the world moved on without him (I mean there is, it’s called Rip Van Winkle). Yeah, now that I think about it, my story is very similar to a Coma patient’s. I just seemingly was given less time than I was promised. And I have to deal with that. But, what I’m saying is, it stands to reason that if this WERE a story, that character wouldn’t shine under those circumstances. They would wilt. They would lament and diminish. Only the rarest and most inspiring would rise up and overcome their disadvantage. Because it is a disadvantage. It’s not a unique vantage point. It’s not a matter of optimism vs pessimism. The glass is not half-full or half-empty; it is considerably less full than halfway. 

Right?

Hmm. What is my point here? I have suffered. Unequivocally. And to suffer is to be alive. Again, unequivocally. So maybe my time-travelling has actually gone the other way. I’ve lived far longer than the scant 30 years my birth certificate claims. It certainly feels like longer than 30 years, even though the activity log of my life would disagree. Maybe that’s it. I’ve replaced my life with dreams. I’ve suffered in places where I was meant to thrive. And in doing so I’ve gone far under my quota of accomplishments and memories, and gone far over my quota of misery and regrets. In that sense I’ve lived out less of my life that I was meant to in some ways and lived out substantially more of my life in other ways. And I can’t say that unhappy (or rather that I don’t love myself as I am), but I can see why I never ever heard anybody recommend living your life this way. 

“I am young. I am old”

Why can’t I be the age I am? Why was that so hard to accomplish? What did I need to do to fix that? And why do people think I should enjoy my birthday? Can’t they see I’ve been time-traveling? This birthday was for someone else. I don’t actually know when my birthday is. I only know when it isn’t.

Now that I’ve thought about it, I think a time-traveler is a perfectly fine person to be a creative type. He might not be the smartest or the fastest, and he’ll never be the happiest; but it’s safe to say he cheated and got wiser than his peers will ever get a chance to. At least if he was paying attention he got wiser. We all know what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But then we all go spending our life trying to get stronger, and rarely do we ever get close enough to getting killed. So I have to show up like the man that survived the fatal disease, and got stronger than anyone should have to, without even really trying*.

Ok calling it here. Day 1 in the books. The daily blog is still at 100% completion rate! Nice

Love you, be good.

[dcuglybooks]

A short story collection featuring stories that are either mean and ugly like that turd that thudded you in school, or sweet and cuddly as a little gloomy kitten; or puppy if you’re more of a dog person.

Stories Christians don't have to read backwards. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LGB4HGN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_UIpaGb2VC4BBX

Here’s a free short.

WAP: WEIRD ASS PHANTOM

“There’s a ghost in this house. There’s a ghost in this house.”

Linda was getting tired of the shit. Every day at exactly noon her alarm would play this shitty overdubbed version of a Cardi B song. The original song wasn’t her cup of tea to begin with, this new version that sounded like drunk karaoke was even worse. Most times she would be sitting there and the sound of a drunk sorority girl would make her jump out of her skin. She couldn’t even find the song or alarm in her phone to do anything about it.

Linda and her girlfriend, Melissa, moved into this old house last month, the rent was so damn cheap; landlord said it was because it used to be a party house so he never charged much. The logic didn’t make any sense but at $300 a month and a mile outside of town, how were they not going to sign that lease?

“I think,” spoke Melissa one night while watching her phone float around taking pictures in the air, “the reason rent is so cheap is because it’s haunted.”

“You think?” Replies Linda while snatching the phone out of the air. “I just wish this damn ghost would stop posting pictures of our bedroom to our Instagram accounts. Did you see the caption last night?”

“Oh you mean ‘Pumpkin spice is almost here. Basic bitches, rejoice!’ The comma is what set me off. Why did she put a comma in that? Why bother? It wasn’t even used correctly I don’t believe.”

“We’re being haunted by a basic bitch.”

“I think that may be offensive.”

“I hear it all the time, it just...... yeah ok maybe. I guess I shouldn’t assume this ghost is a bad stereotype, I won’t say it again.”

“True, this girl may have more going for her than just these annoying social media posts from our accounts”

“Remember the mirror though?”

Last week as the couple were eating dinner they heard a clatter and crash from the upstairs bathroom. Running full speed ahead up the stairs and around the corner Linda saw all their makeup in a pile in the empty sink. She could see a pair of red lipsticked lips floating in the air while eyeliner was seemingly drawn onto the air in a cat eye shape. She sighed and said “What now?” These types of things had been going on since the first night so at this point it was old hat.

The lipstick went to the mirror and wrote “I am finally going to kill you.” Linda took a step back prepared to flee until the lipstick wrote below it “JK LOL YOUR FACE” and then the face floated off into the wall leaving behind the makeup like some sort of painting.

The first time anything strange had happened, a pizza showed up at the front door; delivery for an Amanda Perkins. The girl who moved out recently, they took the pizza because it was already paid for and assumed the girl had made a mistake. They were sure of this as they sat and watched old re-runs of home improvement and munched away; then they noticed the slice floating over in the air above the recliner and the chewed up pile on the seat. They screamed and ran outside, Melissa forgot her phone inside and Linda’s made a ding from inside her pocket.

“Hey I know this is really weird, it’s weird AF for me too. We can make it work though, ladies. I swear I won’t bother you, I already cleaned up my mess.”

They inched inside looking around like scared toddlers and sure enough the mess was cleaned up. After that they just rolled with the weirdness.

“Are you sure Amanda left, Mr. Morris?” Linda was on the phone with the landlord.

“Yes. Positive. Why would you think she still lived there?”

“There’s been..... some things.”

“Drunk college girl, she probably stumbled home one night and forgot she went home for the summer. Its no deal. Not big or small.”

“Are you absolutely positive there is no deal? Big, small, medium, or slightly larger than medium but not quite large?”

“What do you think? I know her ex and he killed her and then buried her body in the basement so now her ghost is haunting you. This is why I charge so cheap rent! No. I don’t believe what you think. I will be going.”

He hung up without ever realizing Linda never once mentioned any of that other stuff. Linda thought, Why does he talk like that?

Turned out that’s exactly what had happened. After doing a quick google of the ghosts name they found out she never came home. After a quick Facebook search they found her ex boyfriends page. After some scrolling they found a post that said “Amanda and I broke up again and I am going to kill her.” The post had six likes and four comments.

“Get her bro!”

“Bitch ain’t appreciate you anyhow bet!”

“U need any ting lemme no”

“Fuk gr8 ass tho. Mind if I hit her up?”

These people were insane. Did not a single one of these people see the part about wanting to kill her? Actually PLANNING to kill her.

The police found it interesting enough to look into it, they found reason to arrest the guy. After a long court trial Amanda’s ex-boyfriend, Brent, was sentenced to life in prison for murder. The body was exhumed and buried at a family plot. The rent got more expensive because Mr. Morris was in prison for helping cover a murder so his aunt took over.

You win some you lose some.

Amanda did not leave though. The ghost hung out still to this day four months later. The social media posts kept going. The pizzas kept getting ordered, only now from their pockets because Amanda’s parents closed her bank account. Amanda was irritated about that, she was cut off from her parents money and stuck living with two other people.

Linda and Melissa tried to make her feel as comfy as possible, they left a pen and notebook in each room so she could communicate with them. Usually the notes were always about how bored she was being a ghost and how if she tried to leave the house it got all bright and she started floating. Amanda was “for real afraid of flying” as she wrote on a notebook.

Amanda’s behavior got strange at some point. She began doing things like drawing stick figures on the bathroom floor in shampoo, she would wrap herself in toilet paper and roll down the stairs creating the illusion of her body disappearing, the worst of it was when she would lay in bed with Linda and Melissa startling them when she pulled the blanket. It was like living with an invisible insane person. Either her mind was slipping or she was just a strange character. She would turn the TV on and watch the same episode of “King of Queens” for ten hours straight while they were at work. They wondered what would happen if they deleted it from the DVR but didn’t want to face that at all.

The alarm kept going off too; Linda had to hand out awkward smiles and apologies when it happened at work or in public. One time she had to apologize to a middle aged woman when it went off in the cereal aisle while shopping and her son started singing the lyrics to the original version as loud as his voice would allow. The mother gasped at all the words her kid knew and knocked a shelf of maple syrup over. The bottles burst all over the floor, Linda tried to help clean it up but she was shooed away by a guy with a mop bucket and a face that said he wanted her dead as shit.

They asked her multiple times what they could do to get her to move along, to which she would always write “sno-cone” on her notebook with no explanation.

Linda woke up sick on a Tuesday and didn’t go to work, she came into the bathroom and seen a note written in lipstick on the mirror that read “Baby, all my life I will be driving home to you.” She blushed, Melissa had left her a really sweet note on the mirror. When Melissa got home she surprised her with a bout of some of the best sex they had ever had, despite Linda being sick she felt overcome with love for her partner.

“Wow. What did I do to deserve that?” Asked Melissa after.

“The note.”

“Oh yes. The note, got you good with that one. So, if it was so good mind telling me what it said?”

“You know what it said!”

“Of course I do.”

She didn’t know what it said. She had no clue, but she wasn’t going to raise a stink about what just happened. No way, no how. She got up and went to use the restroom, as she sat on the toilet she looked up and saw the words on the mirror.

“LINDA!” She yelled. “I DIDNT LEAVE THAT! THATS THE GODDAMN LYRICS FROM THE THEME SONG FOR ‘THE KING OF QUEENS!’”

Linda didn’t know what to say; she shook her head and internally accepted defeat on this one. The couple didn’t talk about it again, the ends justified the means on this one they silently agreed; thanks Amanda.

The trio had carried on life like this for months, seven to be exact, when they heard a bang and a crash from the front door. Assuming this was yet again Amanda doing some goofy nonsense they ran downstairs to clean up the mess only to find a man standing their pointing a shotgun at them.

“You’re the dykes who got me locked up, aintcha?” Said a freshly broke out of prison Brent. “You know, usually I’m cool with like loving whoever and like rights and like equality and shit but tonight is not your night. Go sit.”

They were tied together on the couch while Brent sat channel flipping on the TV.

“Amanda is still here,” spoke Linda “she’s a ghost, at some point she’s going to help us and you’ll probably get hurt. She’s probably posting pictures on Instagram right now so she’s a little busy, but I promise when she finds out she’ll come running.”

“No she won’t.”

“Ok? So you think her post is going to get a ton of likes then?”

“She’s afraid of me.”

“Ugh are you generic ‘I beat my girlfriend’ guy number seventy or not?”

“Not.”

“Then why is she afraid of you?”

“I’m bigger than her…… I guess?”

“She’s a ghost.”

“I’m still bigger.”

​“How can you be bigger than an incorporeal being with no mass or weight?”

​“See, she doesn’t way anything.”

“You didn’t think any of this through did you?”

“Not one bit.”

“It shows. Why did you kill her?”

“Hey I’ve never been what you’d call a planner. I killed her because she broke up with me for the fiftieth time that year and all my friends were giving me a hard time about how I would just crawl back to her. I said ‘can’t crawl back to her if I kill her!’ They all thought it was funny so I did it.”

“Ah………Makes perfect sense to me.”

“A guy has to watch his reputation, right?”

They sat there watching late night infomercials in silence for another half hour. Linda nudged Melissa as she seen a phone floating around taking pictures of a floating can of soup.

Of all the ghosts in the world, why was theirs like this?

“Brent, there’s some stuff on the DVR” Linda told him.

“Good I hate infomercials. Oh yuck, ‘The King of Queens.’ I hate that show, Amanda loved it. That fat fucking heifer guy gets to make it with that babe every night. Fucking loser ass UPS guy”

They could see the phone slowly lower and start hovering towards Brent. They let him rant.

“And that Deacon guy, what a fucking idiot, he leaves his wife at one point which is silly because she’s so fucking hot.”

The can of soup hovered behind him.

“That guy that dates the ugly chick from the bowling alley, now I can’t tolerate him at all.”

The soup can shook with rage.

“He ends up living with the other guy right? Like what the fuck? Are they like a thing or not a thing? I didn’t pay enough attention. I did pretend to though to get some action every now and again, show fucking sucks though. Here I’ll do you guys a favor.”

As he deleted the episode from the DVR the can came slamming down into his head.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

They heard a voice yell “MY BONES ARE GETTING WEARY! MY BACK IS GETTING TIGHT!” As the can of cream of chicken turned Brent’s head into cream of Brent’s brains.

After the violence stopped the notebook hovered in front of them and said “Sorry, I was on TikTok, I’ll clean this up tho.”

Much like the first night that’s exactly what happened. They were untied and they watched as the mess was cleaned up. Brent’s body floated over to the ground and the can of soup was laid on the table. The phone floated over to Melissa who dialed 911.

After the legal mess was cleaned up they decided that having Amanda around maybe was not such a bad idea. No one could really kill them, it was like having a built in security system. They did eventually add a third line to their cell plan and let her set up social media for herself as a reclusive twenty something who couldn’t leave the house due to a skin condition.

Her pages were ok, they didn’t get much interaction or followers but Amanda was happy. Sometimes people would say they wanted to hang out with her because they lived close, Amanda just said her skin condition was contagious AF. No one ever thought to say “Hey, what exactly IS your medical condition?” People could be so polite sometimes.

Christmas morning as they all opened gifts Linda and Melissa cried as Amanda opened the complete series collection of “The King of Queens.” The three sat on the couch together that evening and watched all of season one.

Baby all my life I will be driving home to you.

The next day they heard a familiar song. Together they both smiled and thought that yes, there was a ghost in this house.

[mypilotjourney]

Nav Ride attempt number 1:

I can’t even believe to describe how badly this flight went. My Pre Nav went so well, one of the best my instructors had seen, and then this.

It was a lot of little things that added up and finally I did not know we were allowed to bring our flight computers because for some reason I had read somewhere that we couldn’t (You. Can.) turns out it’s only not allowed for the diversion.

So I get to my second checkpoint and the time is a little fast so I have to reassess ground speed and I don’t have my flight computer. This mean, yep... I’m f*cking around with numbers and math and then guess what. I’m 300 feet below altitude.

We didn’t even finish the flight. JR the examiner took control and turned us around and asked me to fly him back. In the nicest way possible, but still.

I flew back and JW my instructor was waiting in dispatch. “So?” “It did not go well not one thing”

Turns out they had a chance to talk before my debrief and were all on the same page about how I’m fully capable and it might have been a bad day and the things that went wrong(which was everything). Yep, I had a good cry in the car on the way home. It’s fine though, JW called me when I was home to make sure I was ok hes the best. And a different friend messaged me to see, I love these people.

Oh and did I mention that I woke up at 4:30 am for this flight, left at 6, got to school at 7 found out the weather was good, briefed at 8:30, only to find out the runway was pure ice and snow and would not be ready for hours. Waited in the hangar 4 hours until 12:30 when finally all the chemicals were laid out and the snow/ice was cleared and we left around 1pm. Came back by 2:30, debriefed by 3:15 and I got home around 4:30.

I can’t help but feel a little like wasted weather and flying opportunity, wasted JRs time, disappointed JW, and embarrassed myself by not even completing my flight and being the first one in my year not to pass this flight test.

I find I am a very self aware person and cannot attribute the shit show to any one thing. I will just have to call it “just one of those bad days” and be better next time. I have to redo a flight with JW before I can try again, but that’s ok with me.

[globalmediacampaign]

Aurora multi-Primary first impression

For what reason should I use a real multi-Primary setup? To be clear, not a multi-writer solution where any node can become the active writer in case of needs, as for PXC or PS-Group_replication. No, we are talking about a multi-Primary setup where I can write at the same time on multiple nodes. I want to insist on this “why?”. After having excluded the possible solutions mentioned above, both covering the famous 99,995% availability, which is 26.30 minutes downtime in a year, what is left? Disaster Recovery? Well that is something I would love to have, but to be a real DR solution we need to put several kilometers (miles for imperial) in the middle.  And we know (see here and here) that aside some misleading advertising, we cannot have a tightly coupled cluster solution across geographical regions. So, what is left? I may need more HA, ok that is a valid reason. Or I may need to scale the number of writes, ok that is a valid reason as well. This means, at the end, that I am looking to a multi-Primary because: Scale writes (more nodes more writes) Consistent reads (what I write on A must be visible on B) Gives me 0 (zero) downtime, or close to that (5 nines is a maximum downtime of 864 milliseconds per day!!) Allow me to shift the writer pointer at any time from A to B and vice versa, consistently.    Now, keeping myself bound to the MySQL ecosystem, my natural choice would be MySQL NDB cluster. But my (virtual) boss was at AWS re-invent and someone mentioned to him that Aurora Multi-Primary does what I was looking for. This (long) article is my voyage in discovering if that is true or … not. Given I am focused on the behaviour first, and NOT interested in absolute numbers to shock the audience with millions of QPS, I will use low level Aurora instances. And will perform tests from two EC2 in the same VPC/region of the nodes. You can find the details about the tests on GitHub here Finally I will test: Connection speed Stale read Write single node for baseline Write on both node: Scaling splitting the load by schema Scaling same schema  Tests results Let us start to have some real fun. The first test is …  Connection Speed The purpose of this test is to evaluate the time taken in opening a new connection and time taken to close it. The action of open/close connection can be a very expensive operation especially if applications do not use a connection pool mechanism. As we can see ProxySQL results to be the most efficient way to deal with opening connections, which was expected given the way it is designed to reuse open connections towards the backend.  Different is the close connection operation in which ProxySQL seems to take a little bit longer.  As global observation we can say that using ProxySQL we have more consistent behaviour. Of course this test is a simplistic one, and we are not checking the scalability (from 1 to N connections) but it is good enough to give us the initial feeling. Specific connection tests will be the focus of the next blog on Aurora MM.  Stale Reads Aurora MultiPrimary use the same mechanism of the default Aurora to update the buffer pool: Using the Page Cache update, just doing both ways. This means that the Buffer Pool of Node2 is updated with the modification performed in Node1 and vice versa. To verify if an application would be really able to have consistent reads, I have run this test. This test is meant to measure if, and how many, stale reads we will have when writing on a node and reading from the other. Amazon Aurora multi Primary has 2 consistency model: As an interesting fact the result was that with the default consistency model (INSTANCE_RAW), we got 100% stale read. Given that I focused on identifying the level of the cost that exists when using the other consistency model (REGIONAL_RAW) that allows an application to have consistent reads. The results indicate an increase of the 44% in total execution time, and of the 95% (22 time slower) in write execution.  It is interesting to note that the time taken is in some way predictable and consistent between the two consistency models.  The graph below shows in yellow how long the application must wait to see the correct data on the reader node. While in blue is the amount of time the application waits to get back the same consistent read because it must wait for the commit on the writer.    As you can see the two are more or less aligned. Given the performance cost imposed by using REGIONAL_RAW,  all the other tests are done the defaut INSTANCE_RAW, unless explicitly stated. Writing tests All tests run in this section were done using sysbench-tpcc with the following settings: sysbench ./tpcc.lua --mysql-host= --mysql-port=3306 --mysql-user= --mysql-password= --mysql-db=tpcc --time=300 --threads=32 --report-interval=1 --tables=10 --scale=15  --mysql_table_options=" CHARSET=utf8 COLLATE=utf8_bin"  --db-driver=mysql prepare sysbench /opt/tools/sysbench-tpcc/tpcc.lua --mysql-host=$mysqlhost --mysql-port=$port --mysql-user= --mysql-password= --mysql-db=tpcc --db-driver=mysql --tables=10 --scale=15 --time=$time  --rand-type=zipfian --rand-zipfian-exp=0 --report-interval=1 --mysql-ignore-errors=all --histogram  --report_csv=yes --stats_format=csv --db-ps-mode=disable --threads=$threads run Write Single node (Baseline) Before starting the comparative analysis, I was looking to define what was the “limit” of traffic/load for this platform.  From the graph above, we can see that this setup scales up to 128 threads after that, the performance remains more or less steady.  Amazon claims that we can mainly double the performance when using both nodes in write mode and use a different schema to avoid conflict.   Once more remember I am not interested in the absolute numbers here, but I am expecting the same behaviour Given that our expectation is to see: Write on both nodes different schemas So AWS recommend this as the scaling solution: And I diligently follow the advice. I used 2 EC2 nodes in the same subnet of the Aurora Node, writing to a different schema (tpcc & tpcc2).  Overview Let us make it short and go straight to the point. Did we get the expected scalability? Well no: We just had 26% increase, quite far to be the expected 100% Let us see what happened in detail (if not interested just skip and go to the next test). Node 1 Node 2 As you can see Node1 was (more or less) keeping up with the expectations and being close to the expected performance. But Node2 was just not keeping up, performances there were just terrible.  The graphs below show what happened. While Node1 was (again more or less) scaling up to the baseline expectations (128 threads), Node2 collapsed on its knees at 16 threads. Node2 was never able to scale up. Reads Node 1 Node1 is scaling the reads as expected also if here and there we can see performance deterioration. Node 2 Node2 is not scaling Reads at all.  Writes Node 1 Same as Read Node 2 Same as read Now someone may think I was making a mistake and I was writing on the same schema. I assure you I was not. Check the next test to see what happened if using the same schema.   Write on both nodes same schema Overview Now, now Marco, this is unfair. You know this will cause contention. Yes I do! But nonetheless I was curious to see what was going to happen and how the platform would deal with that level of contention.  My expectations were to have a lot of performance degradation and increased number of locks. About conflict I was not wrong, node2 after the test reported: +-------------+---------+-------------------------+ | table | index | PHYSICAL_CONFLICTS_HIST | +-------------+---------+-------------------------+ | district9 | PRIMARY | 3450 | | district6 | PRIMARY | 3361 | | district2 | PRIMARY | 3356 | | district8 | PRIMARY | 3271 | | district4 | PRIMARY | 3237 | | district10 | PRIMARY | 3237 | | district7 | PRIMARY | 3237 | | district3 | PRIMARY | 3217 | | district5 | PRIMARY | 3156 | | district1 | PRIMARY | 3072 | | warehouse2 | PRIMARY | 1867 | | warehouse10 | PRIMARY | 1850 | | warehouse6 | PRIMARY | 1808 | | warehouse5 | PRIMARY | 1781 | | warehouse3 | PRIMARY | 1773 | | warehouse9 | PRIMARY | 1769 | | warehouse4 | PRIMARY | 1745 | | warehouse7 | PRIMARY | 1736 | | warehouse1 | PRIMARY | 1735 | | warehouse8 | PRIMARY | 1635 | +-------------+---------+-------------------------+ Which is obviously a strong indication something was not working right. In terms of performance gain, if we compare ONLY the result with the 128 Threads : Also with the high level of conflict we still have 12% of performance gain. The problem is that in general we have the two nodes behave quite badly. If you check the graph below you can see that the level of conflict is such to prevent the nodes not only to scale but to act consistently. Node 1 Node 2 Reads In the following graphs we can see how node1 had issues and it actually crashed 3 times, during tests with 32/64/512 treads. Node2 was always up but the performances were very low.  Node 1 Node 2 Writes Node 1 Node 2 Recovery from crashed Node About recovery time reading the AWS documentation and listening to presentations, I often heard that Aurora Multi Primary is a 0 downtime solution. Or other statements like: “in applications where you can't afford even brief downtime for database write operations, a multi-master cluster can help to avoid an outage when a writer instance becomes unavailable. The multi-master cluster doesn't use the failover mechanism, because it doesn't need to promote another DB instance to have read/write capability” To achieve this the suggestion I found, was to have applications pointing directly to the Nodes endpoint and not use the Cluster endpoint. In this context the solution pointing to the Nodes should be able to failover within a seconds or so, while the cluster endpoint: Personally I think that designing an architecture where the application is responsible for the connection to the database and failover is some kind of refuse from 2001. But if you feel this is the way, well go for it. What I did for testing is to use ProxySQL, as plain as possible, with nothing else then the basic monitor coming from the native monitor. I then compare the results with the tests using the Cluster endpoint. In this way I adopt the advice of pointing directly at the nodes, but I was doing things in our time.   The results are below and they confirm (more or less) the data coming from Amazon. A downtime of 7 seconds is quite a long time nowadays, especially if I am targeting the 5 nines solution that I want to remember is 864 ms downtime per day. Using ProxySQL is going closer to that, still too long to be called 0 (zero) downtime. I also have fail-back issues when using the AWS cluster endpoint. Given it was not able to move the connection to the joining node seamlessly.  Last but not least when using the consistency level INSTANCE_RAW, I had some data issue as well as PK conflict: FATAL: mysql_drv_query() returned error 1062 (Duplicate entry '18828082' for key 'PRIMARY')    Conclusions As state the beginning of this long blog the reasons expectations to go for a multi Primary solution were: Scale writes (more nodes more writes) Gives me 0 (zero) downtime, or close to that (5 nines is a maximum downtime of 864 milliseconds per day!!) Allow me to shift the writer pointer at any time from A to B and vice versa, consistently.    Honestly I feel we have completely failed the scaling point. Probably if I use the largest Aurora I will get much better absolute numbers, and it will take me more to encounter the same issues, but I will. In any case if the Multi muster solution is designed to provide that scalability, it should do that with any version. I did not have zero downtime, but I was able to failover pretty quickly with ProxySQL. Finally, unless the consistency model is REGIONAL_RAW, shifting from one node to the other is not prone to possible negative effects like stale reads. Because that I consider this requirement not satisfied in full.  Given all the above, I think this solution could eventually be valid only for High Availability (close to be 5 nines), but given it comes with some limitations I do not feel comfortable in preferring it over others just for HA, at the end default Aurora is already good enough as a High available solution.  references https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0C0jakzYuc https://docs.aws.amazon.com/AmazonRDS/latest/AuroraUserGuide/aurora-multi-master.html https://www.slideshare.net/marcotusa/improving-enterprises-ha-and-disaster-recovery-solutions-reviewed https://www.slideshare.net/marcotusa/robust-ha-solutions-with-proxysql https://docs.aws.amazon.com/AmazonRDS/latest/AuroraUserGuide/aurora-multi-master.html#aurora-multi-master-limitations   http://www.tusacentral.com/joomla/index.php/mysql-blogs/225-aurora-multi-primary-first-impression

[brucearnold]

The Big Metronome™

The Big Metronome™

Feel Time Don't Count Time™ Add digital copy to cart - $15.99

The Big Metronome™...is a must own for any instrumentalist.

This book is part of a series of books which are designed to teach a student: How to develop a better internal sense of time. Feel music on a more macro level. Develop an innate sense of musical form. Develop a more natural feel that breathes with the music.

"Feel Time" Don't "Count Time™."

All this is accomplished by requiring the student to "feel time" Don't "count time." The Big Metronome is filled with numerous exercises and comes with audio files to play along with each exercise.

Audio Files

Each audio track for The Big Metronome™ gives you a two bar count off and then a click every measure, two measures or four measures. As this pulse happens at wider and wider periods of time it requires the student to rely more and more on their own internal sense of time.


Additional Audio Files

Although The Big Metronome does contain 3 CDs worth of audio in the ebook it could also  contain MP3s for all metronome markings with a click for either every measure, two measure and four measures. It is recommended that you also purchase the additional MP3 audio downloads that available to get all these combinations. The most complete additional audio is the "Big Metronome Bundle 1" which contains over 45 hours of MP3s with every traditional metronome marking with every macro beat up to 8. This is a huge resource and highly recommended to get the most out of this book and time concept. Additional Information: Digital Edition IBSN: 978-1-59489-785-6 3 folders of audio in MP3 format with the digital version

Get The Big Metronome™...download today!

Add digital copy to cart - $15.99 Status: Digital book is available for immediate access. A digital download of The Big Metronome™ is also available in these bundles Rhythm-Bundle-2 Rhythm-Bundle-3 What people are saying: The Big Metronome™ and the "Doing Time" series were recommended to me a few years back by my drum instructor. They both really helped me get a feel for a larger sense of form, and that led to much more freedom in my soloing and how I approach an overall feel. D. Hernández The Big Metronome has completely changed my perception of time. Over the last few months I've gotten to the point that I can use 20 clicks a minute and keep time while playing chords. The book has lots of ideas on time and also how to use the ideas. R. Hasanov I was always OK playing in time with the metronome. Take the metronome away and I was all over the place. I contacted Bruce about my time problems and he recommended The Big Metronome My opinion is although this book is for a more advanced student that understands basic rhythms, learning the "idea" is important for all musicians. I spend most of my time sight reading through Rhythms Volume One and Rhythms Volume Two with different click combinations. This has really helped me not to speed up and slow down. The Big Metronome has really helped me. F. Mészáros Recommended books to use with The Big Metronome™ Rhythm Ear Training MetroDrone™ Rhythm Ear Training Series What should I work on after The Big Metronome™? Each student has different goals and reasons for working with the The Big Metronome for recommendations for further study please contact Mr. Arnold at the link at bottom of page.

Please Note!

Over the years we have had many requests for additional audio files to cover different tempos and different time signatures so that students could use these files in multiple situations. We have therefore created additional digital downloads of other audio files that will aid you in your development. The Big Metronome comes with 3 CDs but these MP3s give you many more possible combinations to strengthen your time. Each MP3 package gives you 37 audio tracks that are 10 minutes in length using the following metronome markings: 40,42,44,46,48,50,52,54,56,58,60,63,66,69,72,76,80,84,88,92,100, 104,108,112,116,120,126,132,138,144,152,168,176,184,192,200,208 These are the settings on a traditional metronome. Each download is giving you the equivalent of 5 Audio CDs worth of audio. We also offer bundles of these downloads at a reduced price. These bundles contain about 40 Audio CDs worth of files. Keep in mind that bundles are rather large files and the download could take a few minutes.

List of additional audio files for The Big Metronome:

Click on title to go directly to MP3 downloads. The Big Metronome™ Bundle 1 The Big Metronome™ MP3 Volume One The Big Metronome™ MP3 Volume Two The Big Metronome™ MP3 Volume Three The Big Metronome™ MP3 Volume Four The Big Metronome™ MP3 Volume Five The Big Metronome™ MP3 Volume Six The Big Metronome™ MP3 Volume Seven The Big Metronome™ MP3 Volume Eight REVIEWS

Big Metronome™ Bundle 1

Volumes 1 through 8 of 4/4 meter with time divisions 1-8 measures. This package contains Big Metronome™ Volume 1 through 8 in one download. This is the combination of the eight volumes listed above. This package includes MP3 for all traditional metronome markings with a click for 1-8 measures. This bundle contains almost 300 MP3 files. The following metronome markings are used with time divisions of 1 through 8 measures. 40,42,44,46,48,50,52,54,56,58,60,63,66,69,72,76,80,84,88,92,100, 104,108,112,116,120,126,132,138,144,152,168,176,184,192,200,208

Get Big Metronome™ Bundle 1...download today!

MSK 241 Digital: Additional MP3s only no book Add digital copy to cart - $29.99 Status: In stock, Digital MP3s are available for immediate access. No physical CDs available.

Big Metronome MP3 Volume One

The Big Metronome™ Additional Files Volume One includes MP3s for all traditional metronome markings with a click every 1 measures. This download is also included in the bundle 1.

Get Big Metronome MP3 Volume One...download today!

MSK 234 Digital: Additional MP3s only no book Add digital copy to cart - $4.99 Status: In stock, Digital MP3s are available for immediate access. No physical CDs available.

Big Metronome MP3 Volume Two

The Big Metronome Additional Files Volume Two includes MP3s for all traditional metronome markings with a click every 2 measures. This download is also included in the bundle 1.

Get Big Metronome™ MP3 Volume Two...download today!

MSK 235 Digital: Additional MP3s only no book Add digital copy to cart - $4.99 Status: In stock, Digital MP3s are available for immediate access. No physical CDs available.

Big Metronome MP3 Volume Three

The Big Metronome™ Additional Files Volume Three includes MP3s for all traditional metronome markings with a click every 3 measures. This download is also included in the bundle 1.

Get Big Metronome MP3 Volume Three...download today!

MSK 236 Digital: Additional MP3s only no book Add digital copy to cart - $4.99 Status: In stock, Digital MP3s are available for immediate access. No physical CDs available.

Big Metronome MP3 Volume Four

The Big Metronome™ Additional Files Volume Four includes MP3s for all traditional metronome markings with a click every 4 measures. This download is also included in the bundle 1.

Get Big Metronome MP3 Volume Four...download today!

MSK 237 Digital: Additional MP3s only no book Add digital copy to cart - $4.99 Status: In stock, Digital MP3s are available for immediate access. No physical CDs available.

Big Metronome MP3 Volume Five

The Big Metronome™ Additional Files Volume One includes MP3s for all traditional metronome markings with a click every 5 measures. This download is also included in the bundle 1.

Get Big Metronome MP3 Volume Five...download today!

MSK 238 Digital: Additional MP3s only no book Add digital copy to cart - $4.99 Status: In stock, Digital MP3s are available for immediate access. No physical CDs available.

Big Metronome MP3 Volume Six

The Big Metronome™ Additional Files Volume Six includes MP3s for all traditional metronome markings with a click every 6 measures. This download is also included in the bundle 1.

Get Big Metronome MP3 Volume Six...download today!

MSK 239 Digital: Additional MP3s only no book Add digital copy to cart - $4.99 Status: In stock, Digital MP3s available for immediate access.

Big Metronome MP3 Volume Seven

The Big Metronome Additional Files Volume Seven includes MP3s for all traditional metronome markings with a click every 7 measures. This download is also included in the bundle 1.

Get Big Metronome™ MP3 Volume Seven...download today!

MSK 240 Digital: Additional MP3s only no book Add digital copy to cart - $4.99 Status: In stock, Digital MP3s available for immediate access.

Big Metronome MP3 Volume Eighth

The Big Metronome™ Additional Files Volume Eight includes MP3s for all traditional metronome markings with a click every 8 measures. This download is also included in the bundle 1.

Get Big Metronome MP3 Volume Eighth...download today!

MSK 242 Digital: Additional MP3s only no book Add digital copy to cart - $4.99

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[altfire-archive]

overwatch season 1-4 analysis

ok so i’m writing this as i go lol but i wanted to look at my performance overall and as my two mains (d.va + mercy) in all the overwatch competitive seasons to date :D you can check out my stats urself on the official site, overbuff, and masteroverwatch.

we’re going under a cut bc this is gonna be long-ish (update: it’s really fucking long)

season 1

so i bought the game about a month after it came out, and a couple weeks later (i think?) competitive finally launched. i was excited bc my roadhog (then my main) winrate was ~60% so i thought i’d do pretty well??? i didn’t

i only played 5 hours of season 1 and won 7 out of 22 games :/ and i’m pretty sure those 7 were all in my placements. i placed at 49 (out of 100) which wasn’t awful, and once i lost my way down to 40 i didn’t play anymore. this was mostly in solo-queue and playing with my brother, a budding zen main. this was, of course, before the roadhog hook changes, symmetra rework, and zen rework (which upped his hp from 150 to 200 and did some other things i don’t remember but my brother could recite on command lol)

overall it was a pretty rough start, but i’d never played a game like this before so i’m not gonna be too hard on myself. i get significantly better from here out as i discover my love and affinity for d.va.

season 2

somewhere between seasons 1 and 2 i had my soldier phase, where i played nothing but soldier for 50 hours in quick play. this time is completely lost between the seasons lol.

i peaked 2199 (out of 5k) which was mid-low gold and i finished having fallen to 1901.  my overall win:loss:draw ratio 14:23:1. i don’t remember where i placed? 1900 maybe?

i picked up zarya the same week eichenwalde came out, and d.va soon afterward. i played the two of them pretty equally for this season. this is pre-buff d.va (100 health, 400 armor, slower move speed while firing) and i did pretty okay? my w:l:d ratio with her specifically was 7:9:1. again, not awful for someone still just picking up the game. you can see all my stats drastically increased except for healing, bc while i did occasionally play mercy, i didn’t consider her my main yet.

season 3

this is when i started taking competitive seriously. this is also the season where d.va was super strong after her buff (200 health, 400 armor, increased move speed while firing) so i did much better while also improving my mechanical skill at the game.

again, stats drastically improved, this time including mercy as i started playing her more. i definitely considered her my secondary main, but obviously d.va took the spotlight. she was my best hero and was p much OP so i did the best with her.

my overall w:l:d was 105:94:16 and this was my first season with more wins than losses. the difference was even more drastic with d.va, where i went 86:64:10. i think i placed around 1520 (very low silver) then climbed to 2285, then fell to finish at 2172.

season 4

this was the season i played most, and in the best meta thus far. yeah some heroes were pretty strong at the beginning - soldier, ana, rein, lucio, roadhog - but toward the middle and end, pretty much anything semi-reasonable went. d.va was nerfed (400 health, 200 armor, slightly reduced damage) but i continued to play her and actually managed to improve even without the old buff.

my stats are much the same and the averages are lower, as i played mercy much, much more this season which meant less d.va focus. still, this season was my best thus far. i climbed from placing around 2100 to 2683 (low-mid platinum) and fell slightly to finish at 2550. plat was my goal for the season so i was really proud of myself! my overall w:l:d was 200:197:16. with d.va it was 113:99:10 and with mercy it was 60:60:4.

i’m pretty proud of how far i’ve come? like :D i’m so happy i got into plat. now i’m gonna grab my individual stats for d.va and mercy from masteroverwatch from each season (not including 1), and from season 4 from overbuff. i’ll do d.va first.

d.va

season 2

season 3

season 4

ok so looking at these, my stats have kind of gotten lower? but i have to keep in mind - d.va’s changes between each season, and as i increased in skill and in SR my opponents became better as well. i have better accuracy, objective time, and damage blocked with DM. i also know i’ve eaten many more ults (dragonstrike, blizzard, graviton surge) and gotten better at blocking the ones i can’t completely deny (deadeye, config:tank, death blossom, tac visor, etc) and protecting my teammates while ulting (pharah, mccree, genji, soldier, etc) aaand saving teammates from would-be certain death (being frozen, hooked, flashbanged, trapped, etc). i’m blocking less trash damage and having more impact.

overall, i may not have stats that look as good on the page, but i know i’m having more impact and value. my gamesense has allowed me to play better and smarter, even if my stats don’t look as good.

here’s my averages per game (not per minute like the ones above):

the hero rank up top means i was in the top 17% of d.va players this season and shows better perspective for certain stats - like how i get my mech back after losing it 2/3s of the time, which ain’t bad at all. for comparison, here’s the stats from one of the top d.vas in NA, lowkeynerd.

all in all, i intend to continue to play d.va more than any other hero. she’s my best hero, and my best bet at ranking up.

mercy

season 3

season 4

my resurrects got better but overall the stats that matter stayed the same (i.e. haling, rezzes, obj time). i stopped killing so many people but that’s probably for the better. i’m not a battle mercy lol.

here’s my averages per game:

i was in the top 21% of mercys and i think i did pretty well. obviously there’s room for improvement ;/ but that’s what season 5 is for. mercy came back into the meta in a major way after the ana nerfs and lucio changes, so it was nice having her in my hero pool. here’s one of the top mercys NA for comparison, EeveeC:

mercy will continue to be my go-to healer, and unless i suddenly pick up a new main in season 5, i’ll be getting my golden staff + blaster this season :) i only need ~60 more wins! or less?? i can’t remember lol

season 5

season 5 is looking like it’s going to be wild? the meta is the most varied it’s ever been, especially with the orisa and shimada buffs that went life with the anniversary event. i’m still holding out for the 300/300 d.va buff of my dreams (health/armor) and the symmetra nerf everyone wants (the range is too much!!! it’s been too much ever since the buff went through!!!!!! it’s bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!).

my goals: i want to get into diamond, get to top 20% mercy and top 10% d.va on overbuff, and pick up a real third main. i’m leaning toward a dps (literally any offense hero, maybe hanzo, maybe bastion) or a tank (zarya, hog, or orisa if her changes are enough) but who knows! maybe a new hero will come out and i’ll instantly fall in love (i’m looking @ u, hammond)! but for now, and while i’m still experimenting with others, d.va and mercy are my go-tos :) i love my girls. i also want to send in at least one gameplay video to a coaching channel on youtube and have it chosen to be reviewed! namely unit lost/stylosa’s “overanalyzed” or your overwatch/freedo’s “coach freedo” series.

this has gotten........horrendously long. i care a lot about overwatch. i should go to bed so i can play tomorrow. lol. if u read this whole thing, i love u.

♥ray

[elizabeth-stonem]

bamon for the ship thingy///

insists that they are an awesome dancer even though they’re terrible: as if this is anyone but damon 

likes to watch reality tv: both, damon denies it but bonnie caught him watching the real housewives of beverly hills she’d recorded the week before and no she’ll never let him live it down. His favorite housewife is kyle he claims because she’s the gender bent version of him but bonnie thinks its because they both have a penchant for creating needless caucasian drama.  

refuses to wear pants when they’re home alone: ugh fucking damon and its not just pants it is everything, his reasoning is that its his house and he should be able to wear as much or as little as he wants which ok great cool but the door is never locked. So when Bonnie comes home with her friend Kayla from class to study for her biology final and sends the girl in ahead of her while she’s getting her bag from the car you can imagine her mortification when said girl runs back out cheeks ablaze as she stutters out, “there’s a hot naked guy and i mean hot in the relative sense like objectively he was pretty good looking and i wasnt looking i swear he was just *wild hand gestures* there in the kitchen and uh he told me to tell you you guys are out of milk” needless to say any and all studying is now done at the library. 

is the jealous / protective one: they are both the protective ones bye have you met them but damon in particular being the immortal one between them. as far as jealousy goes damon still cringes when he sees her talking to jeremy although he attributes that to just not being able to stand the youngest gilbert but overall he trusts bonnie so implicitly it scares him from time to time, so that tight feeling in his chest that used to be present whenever elena would so much breathe near stefan, that feeling that he’s two seconds from losing her as soon as she wakes up and realizes the passion and fire doesn’t negate their toxicity their “i’ll devour you and leave no crumbs behind” kind of love has dissipated like smoke Bonnie has never given him reason to believe she’s not as unbelievably happy with him as he is with her his love doesn’t feel hungry with her and isn’t that the way love is supposed to feel? full?  

goes all out on the holidays: Bonnie, she doesn’t really have a lot of happy holiday memories to cherish and she figures there is no time to start like the present.  

cries over books: oh bonnie absolutely she’s 100% the type of person to need a few days to recuperate and come back to reality after reading a good book and damon knows he knows that nothing in those 300 page of papers could truly hurt bonnie it doesn’t stop him from feeling a punch to the gut seeing her cry if bonnie’s 100% the type to close herself off in a room over a book damon’s 100% the type to climb into bed next to her, pull her against his chest, interlock their fingers and spend the rest of the night making sure the real world is far softer than fiction.

is terrible with kids: neither of them? Damon claimed he was not a kid person but when Lucy calls Bonnie to babysit her 6 month old son Jeremiah for a night and Damon refuses to even come near the kid because “babies are messy Bonnie, messy and loud that thing is minutes from exploding all over my persian rug” to which Bonnie rolling her eyes and walking towards him with the baby replies, “We’ve literally gone up against the Devil Damon and a baby scares you? Just hold him for a minute I’m gonna go fix his bottle” Bonnie hands him the baby and honestly, you’d think he’d seen a ghost by the look on his face but when Bonnie comes back it is clear that Damon has thawed significantly if the soft smile thats on his face as her little cousin holds tight to Damon’s finger with his pudgy little hand is any indication. The following night as she’s falling asleep she can practically hear his smirk as he asks, “So does a 24 hour reanimation spell fall within the realm of your witchy capabilites?”

drinks too much caffeine: Bonnie she wont even talk to Damon before a cup of coffee and Damon’s beginning to wonder who is more volatile ripper Stefan or an uncaffienated Bennett witch

could sleep for twenty-four hours straight: Ha Bonnie so Damon has come up with more creative ways of waking her up involving his mouth, the fingers and the apex of her thighs and truly Bonnie admits that for the first time the waking up may be her favorite part of going to sleep. 

never wears matching socks: Bonnie and truly it isn’t even because she doesn’t have the matches to the socks she read once that mismatch socks are good luck and she thinks she and Damon could do with some extra luck after her second pregnancy test comes back negative 

punches a tree when they’re angry: Damon and really really he’s not even angry just hurting hurting to see Bonnie’s crestfallen face when yet another test comes back without the results they hoped for, he let himself hope for a moment that he and Bonnie could really do this they’d have a little girl and she’d have Bonnie’s heart shaped face and his mischief filled blue eyes and a head full of springy black curls or maybe a boy with Bonnie’s serious face, her big green puppy dog eyes and chocolate colored hair. 

gets scared by the toaster: Bonnie and ok yes she’s always been naturally skittish but can she really be blamed for jumping when her bread pops out of the toaster at the exact time Damon shouts her name and comes vamp speeding into the kitchen. “Damon what the hell?!” she growls out while wiping the orange juice that is currently soaking through her favorite blouse. Damon doesn’t even give the impression of listening to her as he’s down on his knees in front of her unbuttoning her shirt and as fun as kitchen sex is Bonnie isn’t really in the mood at the moment and makes that much clear, “Yeah not happening buddy this is my favorite top and also I told you I hate when you sneak up on me like that why are yo-” Damon abruptly looks up “Bonnie honey you know I love you I’d pull the stars out of the sky for you and all that sappy Stefan stuff but I sincerely need you to shut that beautiful little mouth of yours so I can hear” Damon puts his ear down to her stomach and maybe Bonnie just doesn’t want to believe whats happening but she finds herself as puzzled as ever before Damon chokes out “I hear their heartbeats” and its hitting her now what he’s saying this impossible dream of theirs and she’s coming in and out of focus when she has a quick moment of clarity as she dazedly asks, “What do you mean heartbeats” and Damon’s got that soft smile that smile that makes her forget what a bastard he can be on occasion as he tells her, “I heard your heartbeat and then…I heard two more” and she’s got orange juice soaking into her bra and she’s dizzy from damon’s quick jerky spins and she’s also never been happier in any moment of her life 

send me a ship and i’ll tell you who: