#ok actually his eyes are kinda far apart but like. it’s whiteboard!!!!!!!!

[ashipiko]

do you guys ever just wanna doodle and end up launching yourself into your own doom

[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

---

Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha. 

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

  @mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife  @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki​

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Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos. 

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.  

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok? 

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished. 

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways. 

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing? 

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out. 

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”. 

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

---

God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )

[criminally--reid]

Go Home, Spencer

Warnings: er smut? Fingering, unprotected sex, dirty talk, yaknow; also not rlly edited n kinda rushed but like whatever :/

Pairing: spencer reid x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.2k (1,268)

(authors note at the end if ur down I guess. kinda important i guess i dunno)

_________________________________________

“Mmmh, j-jesus fuck! Nnng so- fuck! So  fucking good. Holy shit-” 

Buzz Buzz Buzz 

An incoming phone call interrupts you. You pause your video and answer the call from Morgan telling you to check on Reid. He hadn’t been quite the same since he went through everything with the last couple cases. You slip on a t-shirt and shorts and hop in your car to head to the office. 

“Everything okay, Spence?” He’s in the meeting room, whiteboards covered in chicken scratch, cork boards covered in pictures upon pictures of crime scene photos. 

 “No.. No it’s not okay. I- I- I don’t understand how I didn’t see it-” 

“Wha- what are you talking about?” 

He runs his hands up his face and into his hair as he storms off to the break room; me hot on his trail. 

“I can’t believe I had the initial profile wrong. I was so certain I knew, but he killed again. I thought I had it right; thought I knew.” 

“Spence, we caught the guy. It’s over-" 

"We could have caught him sooner." 

"Spence, it's done. It’s friday. You can go home. For once, stop profiling and enjoy yourself.” 

“I can’t just stop profiling. It’s what I do all day, everyday. I’d have to turn my brain off to quit. Like right now, you’re eager to get home. Not to someone, but something. You’re a bit fidgety. radiating an insane amount of body heat. I’m guessing you were watching porn before Morgan called-” 

“I didn’t ask you to start profiling me, Spencer, and how’d you know Morgan called?” 

“Merely observation…and Derek’s always the one that calls.” he continues, stepping closer. 

“Spence-” 

“You told me to enjoy myself... I’m about to.” He steps even closer so his front is flush with mine. I have trouble meeting his stern gaze until he places two fingers under yourchin, forcing eye contact. “Tell me, Y/N, was I right?” I nod yourhead and look away. “Not talking now are we? Words.” 

“Yeah, Spence, you're right.” 

A grim smile creeps across his face accompanied by an almost sarcastic laugh; a mix between a scoff and a chuckle. “Spence? Seriously. I put so much effort and time; blood, sweat, and tears into earning a doctorate for everyone to call me Spence? Or spencer? Reid? No one respects my title, huh. I go above and beyond so I get the doctor respect, but still nothing.” 

“I- no- of course we do. This team would be nothing without you. We- we know how hard you work, Spen-" 

“Turn around.” you do as he says, turning around and gripping the edge of the large wooden table that sits in the middle of the room. He runs his hands up you back and around your neck, pulling your ear closer to his mouth. “What was it about?” 

“Wha-” 

“The video. What was it about?” 

“Uh- i-it was, uhm, a- a boss and his uh employee..” 

Spencer lets out a sinister yet somehow innocent laugh. “That excites you? You dirty girl. Is that something you think about a lot? Fucking whoever’s in charge of you at work?” You hesitate before slowly nodding your head. “I hope a co-worker can fulfill your fantasies.” He snakes his opposite hand down to plant a firm slap on your ass, eliciting a moan from your chapstick-coated lips. 

He unwraveles his arm from around you and drops down to his knees behind you; taking your shorts down with him, revealing that you have no underwear on. 

“No panties…” he whispers almost to himself. Excitement swells inside you as well as on the surface of your skin as he peppers open-mouthed kisses all over the back of your thighs, getting everso closer to your heat. He pries your legs open, and you let out slow, deep, shaky breaths in response. They soon become shallow - almost nonexistent - as he slip stwo fingers inside you. “So wet,” he snickers. He quickens his pace with each thrust, and you're a mess in no time. 

“S-spencer,” you choke out. 

Another harsh slap on your ass. “Who?”

“Dr. Reid.. please..” 

“Please what?” He quickens his fingers, rendering you almost speechless. 

“Fu-fuck me, Dr. Reid, please.’’ 

Immediately, he stops in his tracks and removes his fingers; an empty feeling washing over you. He stands up, his front flush with yourback and you can feel his bulge pressing up against your thigh, through his pants. “Open,” he says, and you part your lips allowing his fingers to dance inside, coating your tongue with your own juices. 

“Good girl.” 

You hear the sound of him undoing his belt followed by his suit pants hitting the floor. You spread your legs slightly, more than ready for him. The tip of his length makes contact with your slick folds and your insides tighten up automatically. “S- Doctor, please.” 

“As you wish.” 

He slips inside easily, and you feel full once again. He goes agonizingly slow; torturing you. Slow, long strokes, filling you to your hilt; then all the way out and back in again.

“Doctor Reid, faster, plea- ohmygod!”   

“Shti! So fucking tight.” 

The sound of his thighs hitting the back of your slick ones fills and echoes through the room. A harsh slap on your ass followed by a squeal adds to the audible pleasure. He removes his hands from your hips to tangle one into your hair and the other one snaking around your front to rub hellish circles on your clit. You collapse onto the table - putty in his hands; an absolute moaning mess. The knot that began before you got there returning full-force, threatening to unwind. You clench around his length, trying to hold back your orgasm and relish in the immense pleasure. But all too soon, the floodgates are threatening to open; aching for release. 

“Mmh- you gonna cum for me?” Spencer breathes out from behind you, his pace ruthless and steady. 

“Mmfuck, Spence- yes.” 

His grip tightens in your hair, and he pulls your head back - ear level with his mouth as he lowly taunts, “How do we ask nicely?” 

“Doctor Reid,, plea- fuck! Please.. Can I cum, please?- S-so fucking good. Spencer... please?” 

“Cum,” he whispers in yourear; sending shivers down your spine. Almost instinctively, you clench around him and your juices explode. An uncontrollable, high-pitched cry leaving your mouth as anticipation finally reached its apex. 

A few more strokes and Spencer pulls out and finishes on yourlower back, leaving you with an aching empty feeling once again. His hands falling on either side of you holding him up. Both of us panting like race dogs. He stands up - putting some space between you and him - allowing you to turn around and admire the sight in front of you: A wild Spencer, glistening with post-sex sweat, dressed in nothing but a haphazardly buttoned beige button-up, running his fingers through his sweat-dampened hair. 

You both hurry to throw your clothes back on. 

“So…” Spencer starts.

“That was.. -” 

“Yeah, it was.” Spencer attempts to sputter out a sentence, and you both laugh at his failure.

“Listen, I- uh.. Okay,” you laugh. “Go home, pretty boy. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and don’t even think about this place until Monday.”

He stands in front of you once again, your back up against the table, his hands lightly resting on your sides. “I think I’ve had enough fun in the last hour to last you the rest of the weekend. Given that, I’m obligated to come back tomorrow.” 

“Jesus Christ, Reid.” you chuckle, and he joins in.

“Fine. Monday.” He places a kiss to your forehead, grabs his cross-body bag, and heads to the door. A quick wink, and he’s out of yoursight all too soon. 

“Monday,” you whisper lowly to yourself, and smile like a total loon all the way back to your car. 

○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°○°

a.n.: ok so like this isn't rlly edited but whatever I already said that akajak

the thing is, I have a few more of these already written (that I should actually prob look over n edit). But I cant decide if I should try harder to make them a series or not. The story lines VAGUELY run together, but like I references different seasons of spencer?? like does that matter ?? or? Maybe it could just be like an analogous series bcos the plots kinda make sense individually.. eye dunno bbies,, gimme ur opinion if ur reading this :)

Also,, lemme know ur opinion on the spacing. I feel like this.is too far apart, but i feel like if i dont double space or whatever, the words will get jumbled up and it'll be harder to read? It is for me at least.. lemme know what yall prefer

Ok so I made the spacing smaller. I feel like it's hard to read but maybe I'm just an idiot:/ lemme know uwu

[man-me--a-sand]

Ghosts

Summary: Emma is pretty sure she isnt alone in her apartment

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144439

Characters: Emma Perkins, Paul Matthews, Lex Foster

TW: death, getting shot is mentioned, swearing

Notes: My contribution to the spooky season, I guess? I promise it isn’t spooky as it sounds Thanks to Ella on the saf discord for betaing this for me

And no, I haven’t seen nightmare Time ep 2, but I know theres paulkins, and I know it’s kinda weird

Smash! Emma’s head shot up when she heard the loud crash coming from the kitchen. She hurried over, and there was a pile of broken glass on the floor. The cup hadn’t been anywhere near the edge, so she wasn’t sure how it had fallen.

“Jeez, it’s like I’m being haunted.” Emma laughed. “Hey, whatever ghosts that’s breaking my shit, please stop, this isn’t cheap. I mean, it is cheap stuff, but that’s beside the point.” Emma bent over to pick up the larger shreds of glass. She put it on the counter, far back, but it somehow fell off. For a second Emma could have sworn it was floating, but nah. She believed in ghosts, but this was too far.

••

When Emma got home to see the fridge open, she started to wonder. So, considering she had nobody to talk her out of it, she headed to the Hatchetfield mall.

The short brunette shuffled through the shelves, searching for the dark purple box that would ease her mind. The strange happenings in her apartment were getting a bit too weird for her taste.

A teenager stumbled up to her, barely paying attention as she mumbled. “Hi are you getting everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Emma finally pulled out the box.

“A ouija board, huh?” The teen asked. “Summoning the dead?”

“Yeah.” Emma snapped.

“Jeez.” The teenager raised her hands up in defeat.

Emma stood up, clutching the box. This was stupid. There was no way she was haunted by some vengeful spirit, this was a waste of money.

“Hey, how obsessed with quality are you?”

“What?” The teenager was still standing there. She lifted her jacket to reveal a red toy zone vest. “Yeah, there’s one in the back, the box is all fucked up, but the boards useable.  Want it?”

“Why are you offering me this? Are you going to try and say I stole, cause kid, I don’t have the energy to deal with that.”

The girl scoffed. “Are you a dick? If not, I won’t. So, want it or not?”

“Sure.” Emma peered at the girls nametag. “Lex.”

“Here.” Lex shoved the box into Emma’s hands. “I took the liberty of ripping off the barcode.”

“Well, thanks-.” She was leaving. Emma rushed out before she could be accused of stealing.

••

“Alright, twelve ninety nine piece of shit, do something for me.” Emma muttered, sipping her iced tea. “Mr. Ghost? Or Ms. Ghost, or Mx, I don’t care.”

Nothing happened.

“Wonderful. I’m not being haunted, case closed.” Emma stood up, and saw something shift in the corner of her eye.

H

Shit.

I

Ok that wasn’t something that actually happened. It was just a trick of the light, or something. Right? Emma took a deep breath. She had never had to prove ghosts existed before, but now was a good enough time, right?

“Hi.”

Hi

“So you are.. a ghost.”

Yeah

“You seem pretty casual about that. So you didn’t die a horrible death and are haunting the world as revenge?”

No

“Ok, final question, what’s your name?” Emma tightened, one thought repeating in her head over and over. Don’t be Jane, don’t be Jane-

Paul

Matthews

“Well, hi, Paul. Can you stop breaking my shit?”

Sorry was trying to get ur attention

“Well, you have it. Because I’m talking to a fucking ghost, I guess.Also bro, if this is some elaborate prank, I’ll kill you.”

Ur a little late to kill me

“So , how’d you die, then?”

Cliche shooting in clivesdale

Emma winced. “Oof, you died in clivesdsle? I’m sorry, bro. Or not? He/him?”

Yes

“Ok.”

Dying in clivesdale sucked ass

“I can imagine. Jeez, Clivesdale. You know, I’d always hoped I wouldn’t die in Hatchetfield, but wow. I would hate to die in Clivesdale.”

Why not die in hatchetfield

“I hate Hatchetfield. Grew up here, spent every second trying to get out. Went to Guatemala right after I graduated, backpacked around, had a lot of sex. I had a girlfriend for a bit, a boyfriend for a bit right before I came back, it was alright.” Emma sighed.

Why did u come back

“My sister. Jane. She had this perfect life plan, followed it to the letter. Except I don’t think dying so soon was in her Lisa Frank binder.”

Oh

Im sorry

“For a second I was scared she was haunting me, trying to ruin my life. It would definitely be fair. I never came back from Guatemala, igniting weddings, baby showers, birthdays. I’m quite the piece of shit.”

It’s ok emma

She knew u cared

“Yeah, I’m not so sure about that. Anyways, anything I can do to help you out? Stop you from annoying me?”

Ill stop if u get me a whiteboard

“That’s all?” She had been expecting something a little more ghostish. Eh. At least it was easy. “Nothing else? No dramatically burning your gravestone so you can pass over?” Emma said sarcastically.

How do u burn stone

I want to stay

“Well, it’s all right with me as long as you stop breaking my shit, ghostie boy.” Emma stood up, waving at the empty space by the ouija board. “Well, I’m headed to bed. I’ll get you a whiteboard, Paul.”

Thanks

“Don’t watch me sleep!”

••

Emma heard quiet whispering behind her as she left the store with some groceries and a whiteboard.

“Yeah, that’s the guy who always rushes me, and that lady, I gave her a ouija board the other day. Oh, that asshole took forever counting out individual coins for a fourth dollar toy the other day!”

She turned around to see the teenager (taller than her!) who had given her the free ouija board, and probably saved her a lot of money in glasses. Honestly, she could have bought plastic cups, but Emma had never claimed to have an abundance of common sense, and she hadn’t run out yet. The teenager, Lex? waved at her awkwardly, noticing Emma looking at her. There was another taller than her teen next to Lex, but this one was actually tall, and a small girl.

Emma waved back.

“Did you find any ghosts!?” Lex shouted needlessly, considering they weren’t that far away from each other. The teen turned to tall guy. “If I was a ghost, would you still date me?”

“Of course, ghosts are sexy.”

“I have plenty of ghosts following me around now, thanks for the board.” Emma said, walking away.

“Funky.”

••

Emma dropped her bag of groceries in her doorway, waving the whiteboard around. “Ghost Paul? Did I hallucinate you, cause I got your whiteboard.” She uncapped the pen and held it out, holding the board away from her.

Shaky lettering appeared on the whiteboard.

Thank u

“No problem, ghost boy.”

You're nice

“Sure.” Emma laughed.

Can I stay here?

“I guess you can keep.. haunting me. Cause that is already happening.”

Thanks

“So, what tv do you like? Wanna watch Netflix with me?”

---

If you’re wondering, Emma’s next endeavour would be getting a ghost to pay rent. I hope you liked it! Either way, have a nice day/night!