#ok I’ll stop complaining and enjoy this morsel
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isilwhore · 6 months ago
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Oh baby, protect me from the spiders
(That was all? I wanted more)
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caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma · 5 years ago
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Map of the Soul, Chapter Two
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For the @btswritingcafe​‘s Map of the Soul: 7 Workshop
Pairings: OT7 x reader (kinda); Taehyung x reader
Series Summary: If you give a piece of yourself to everyone you love, at some point, there will be nothing left for yourself. While feeling lost and alone in your adult life, a strange box falls onto your head in your own closet, and you take an unexpected walk down memory lane wondering where everything went wrong.  Was it the romances that fizzled out, the friends & loved ones you left behind, the “what could’ve been” moments, the brush with Fate that never quite connected? Could the strange map you find have the answers you are looking for?  Determined to feel complete once again, you embark on a journey to reclaim the missing pieces of your soul.
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut (references to previous)
Word Count: 8k+ 
Warnings: cursing & vulgar language, accidental flashing, mentions of kinks and other sexual content, sexual innuendos, mentions of previous sexual encounters, nerdy soulmate things, bisexuality
Chapter Two: Soulmates are a Forever Kind of Thing
March 18th, 11:37am
The sound of an incessant car alarm outside tore you away from the breezy dreamscape you were enjoying with a scantily clad Jungkook. You pried your eyes open and groaned at the never-ending beeps and boops below your window.
SHUT UP ALREADY, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MACHINE!
You grumbled angrily as you slid out of bed and made your way to the bathroom. The soreness between your legs made you smile, and you flirted with the idea of texting Jungkook.
Hmmm, too soon. Better give it a day or two.
It was a lazy Sunday for you, so you spent the next hour lounging and snacking while Oberyn curled up next to you on the couch. You were starting to submit to an afternoon of mindless YouTube streaming when a notification dinged on your phone.
Jungkook?!
You scrambled across the couch to take your phone off of the charger. The notification wasn’t from your messaging app though, it was from your Instagram. Your old friend Taehyung sent you a message and you smiled when you saw his profile picture. Your heart warmed as you thought about the first time you met Kim Taehyung.
↸ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ
Several Decades Earlier
You met Kim Taehyung in kindergarten when you fell off the monkey bars and he unknowingly broke your fall. You couldn’t figure out how to soothe the sobbing mess he was, so you kissed him on the cheek like your mother would whenever you got hurt.
“Better?” you hoped. “Did I make the hurt go away?”
He sniffled slightly and looked up at your face with tears streaming down his face. He pouted and shook his head emphatically, then pointed to the top of his head. You simply nodded and planted a soft kiss to the top of his chocolate locks.
“How about now?” you tried. “All gone?”
He pouted again and then pointed to his forehead. You pulled his head closer and placed another kiss on his forehead. His tears stopped, but he was still hiccuping as a result of his earlier crying fit.
“What’s wrong?” You asked gently, still holding his head. “Are you still hurt?”
His pout deepened and he nodded slightly. He tried to look you in the eye, but he kept hiccuping and closing his eyes in protest.
“Where?” you pleaded. “I’ll make it better.”
He lifted his shining puppy dog eyes to meet your concerned face. Slowly, he lifted his finger and placed it on his own pouty lips. You gasped slightly and widened your eyes.
“There?” you asked. “I hit you there?”
I guess that makes sense. I probably kicked him when I fell.
New tears formed in his big brown eyes and your heart sank at the sight. You sighed and gathered up your strength. With a huff, you leaned forward quickly and placed the softest little peck on his lips and then pulled away. However, before you could escape, the boy reached up and grabbed your wrist. You panicked for a moment, but then realized he just needed help standing up.
You helped him stand and as soon as you dusted the dirt from the fall, he enveloped you in a crushing bear hug.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “I feel much better now.”
He pulled away and wiped at his eyes. You offered him a small smile and grinned at the adorable sight. A sudden realization hit you and you gasped loudly, which captured his attention.
“Hey,” you cried. “Your hiccups are gone!”
The boy froze and looked around, as though hiccups were tangible things he could track with his vision. A wide grin blossomed across his face and you noted the cute boxy shape. As troubled as this first encounter was, you still felt drawn to the silly boy with the rosy cheeks and fluffy hair.
“What’s your name?” you asked sweetly. “Want to be friends?”
“My name is Taehyung,” he replied while grabbing your hand. “I would love to be your friend!”
ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ⇲
A soft smile spread across your face at the memory. A lifelong friendship started from that first tumble, and you never regretted giving your first kiss away to the cute boy you’d crushed when you fell from those monkey bars. 
Sigh.
You opened up your Instagram app and searched for the message Taehyung sent. Your eyes widened and you laughed maniacally when you saw the picture he sent.
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You were laughing so hard, you nearly fell off the couch. Oberyn scuffled away angrily, clearly annoyed that your outburst of laughter disturbed his nap time.
When the giggle fit finally died down to a manageable sense of amusement, you looked at the message again. Taehyung always did have a way of saying just the right thing at just the right time. Your amusement quickly shifted into longing and nostalgia, and you could almost feel your soul aching for its mate.
I miss him so much.
Over seven years had passed since you last saw Taehyung in person. The summer before you were going to start high school, his parents had to move to another state. You were both happy that his dad was finally getting the promotion he worked so hard for, but it was devastating to think that you would be going through high school without your best friend and soulmate.
Throughout high school, you kept in touch (thank the gods for the internet and smartphones), but you both went to different colleges and were only able to meet up during breaks. Once you both graduated, you took jobs in different states and your communication dwindled to random messages and the occasional phone call or video chat.
It wasn’t enough. You needed him as a permanent physical fixture in your life, but there wasn’t much either of you could do about it. You both loved your jobs and you were comfortable in your current living situations. However, if an opportunity to change that ever revealed itself, you were positive that you would both jump at it like feral cats.
You briefly considered messaging him on Instagram, but your lingering nostalgia convinced you to call him instead. It was so long since you’d heard his resonant baritone voice purring into your ear. Honestly, that voice alone could wreck someone to pieces. Luckily, you knew the man connected to the voice so it didn’t affect you nearly as much.
You quickly scrolled through your contacts and hit the “Call” button. After three rings, the man himself answered with a long sigh.
“You couldn’t give me a few minutes to dry myself off before calling?” he whined cutely. “I had to rush through my shower just to answer the phone.”
“No one told you to do that, Tae,” you countered. “You could always let it go to voicemail and then just call me back.”
“Yeah, right,” he scoffed playfully. “You know better than anyone that I am the worst when it comes to returning phone calls. You’re lucky I still remember to send you messages on social media.”
“Fair point, sir,” you giggled. “The only reason I haven’t kicked your forgetful ass to the curb is because you’re my best friend and I love your stupid ass.”
“Ummm, I think you mean soulmate,” Taehyung argued. “Remember, we decided that the term “best friend” wasn’t strong enough to accurately describe our relationship.”
“Ah, yes,” you concurred. “How could I possibly forget the Great Soulmate Debate of 5th grade? You almost got us into detention with that speech of yours, Tae.”
“It’s your fault,” he shot back. “If you had just accepted the term soulmate when I first suggested it, everything would have been fine. But, noooooooo, someone just had to argue with me and keep us in the hallway until we were officially skipping class.”
“Don’t complain, Tae-Bear, you love it when I argue with you,” you reminded him. “It’s part of the dynamic of our relationship. If we just gave in to each other all the time, it wouldn’t be any fun.”
“Exactly,” he chuckled. “You’re the ice to my fire, the sweet to my sour, the jelly to my peanut butter.”
“Why do you get to be the peanut butter?” you challenged. “Why do I have to be the jelly in this metaphor?”
“Because I’m smooth and you’re cool, remember?” Taehyung responded. “Don’t tell me your memory is slipping, babe.”
“No,” you sighed sadly. “I think it’s just been too long since we’ve actually seen each other in person. I miss you, Tae-Bear.”
The video call feature started ringing in your ear and you almost squealed in excitement. You swiped a finger across the screen and adjusted the phone on the coffee table. A shirtless Taehyung with wet hair greeted you with the boxiest of smiles, and you couldn’t help waving and squealing like a ridiculous fangirl.
“My Tae-Tae,” you cooed. “Baby, I miss you so much!”
He chuckled and pulled a scarf headband on to push his dark curling locks away from his eyes. You smiled at his golden skin glistening in his after shower glow, and shook your head at how many women despise you for being so close to this delicious morsel. It was a blessing and a curse, but you carried that burden with pride because you just loved him so much.
“Ok, now, let’s do the math, babe,” Taehyung ordered while pulling on a flowy button down with a wild print. “I know you hate math, but try to work with me, ok? When was the last time we were actually together in person?”
“Well, this is my eighth year teaching at the university,” you recalled. “I think it was that first Christmas after I started working here. We went home and had sleepovers every night until after New Year’s. You had just gotten your job at the marketing firm, and we were upset that we wouldn’t be able to see each other as much.”
“Shit,” he gaped at you. “Has it really been that long? That doesn’t seem right.”
“A little over seven years,” you calculated grimly. “We’ve tried to meet up almost every year, but something always comes up either with you or me.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, babe,” Taehyung apologized. “I didn’t even realize that much time passed. How are we even surviving?”
“Barely,” you pouted. “Whenever I’m off from school, you’re busy, and whenever you get vacation time, I have school. The cycle never ends.”
There was a few seconds of reluctant silence and then Taehyung had a visual epiphany.
“Actually,” Taehyung grinned. “I do have some vacation time I can take. I have a full week that I need to take this year or else I lose it. Aren’t you on Spring Break right now?”
You popped up in your seat and nodded quickly.
Was this really happening?!
“Kim Elizabeth Taehyung!” you scolded. “Don’t you dare play with my emotions right now. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Taehyung giggled and angled the phone so you could see that he was on one knee. He comically cleared his throat and gave you his best pouty face.
“My beautiful darling soulmate,” he purred in a purely saccharine voice. “Can I stay at your place while I take my vacation? I don’t want to stay in a lame Airbnb again.”
“Of course you can!” you exclaimed. “I could never say no to that adorable face.”
He jumped up and started breaking out into his signature celebration dance, but you quickly noted that he was just wearing a towel from the waist down. Before you could comment on his lack of clothing, the towel unraveled and you got an eyeful of Taehyung that men and women alike would kill to have.
“TAEHYUNG!” you screeched. “Cover your shame!”
He dropped the phone on the bed and you could hear his cute laughter filling the room. He was nearly gasping for air when he finally picked up the phone. You noted the reddened ears and rosy cheeks showering his boxy grin like a halo. The man was far from an angel, but at least he had the decency to be embarrassed by his accidental flashing.
“I never took you for a cam-boy, Tae,” you teased. “Is that how you’re earning extra money these days?”
He rolled his eyes and shot you a look over the phone. It’s not like you’d never seen Taehyung naked, but you had to admit, it had been a while.
“You know that isn’t one of my kinks, babe,” he reprimanded. “I am not an exhibitionist. I would never make it as a cam-boy.”
You leaned forward and glanced down and then back at his face and lifted your eyebrows suggestively.
“From what I could see,” you mused. “You are more than qualified to have a big, long successful career as a cam-boy. You could be rolling in some thick money stacks, if you know what I mean.”
He tried so hard to resist your perverse innuendo, but the scowl he threw at you quickly morphed into unadulterated amusement. He fell back on his bed and clutched at his stomach with a major case of the giggles. From your slanted angle on the bed, you could see him gasping for air with tears forming in his eyes. Once he regained his composure, he wiped away his tears and wagged his finger at you.
“Naughty, naughty,” he scolded. “I may have to punish you when I get there.”
You rolled your eyes at his insinuation, but quickly brightened at the prospect of his arrival. It was time to make plans for your Tae-bear’s trip.
“Ok, let’s get serious for a minute,” you stated. “I need dates, times, number of checked bags, everything. When should I expect you to get here, TaeTae?”
“Let me check with the office and I’ll get back to you, babe,” he replied. “I just finished off a big account, so I do have a little down time coming my way. I will get everything cleared at work and then book my flight. As soon as I know, you’ll know.”
“Ah, I’m so excited to see you!” you squealed with delight. “It’s been way too long. I’ll set up the guest room for you.”
“Umm, guest room?” Taehyung queried with a smirk. “Yeah, that isn’t going to work for me. I’m going to need the left side of your mattress, babe.”
“Tae, that’s my side of the bed,” you growled. “You know that.”
“I know,” he winked cheekily. “But as your guest of honor, I get first dibs. You could always sleep on top of me, if you so choose.”
“Absolutely not, Kim Taehyung,” you spat. “Soulmate or not, you know how crucial my sleep cycle is. Any disturbance hitherto is a recipe for disaster.”
“Meh,” he shrugged. “I’ll risk it.”
The sound of an alien space gun text tone went off and his brow furrowed slightly.
“Hey, babe, I gotta go,” Taehyung announced. “Duty calls.”
“Ok, baby,” you pouted. “Text me later!”
You both blew kisses at the camera and ended the video call. You plopped back onto the couch and took a deep breath. If the Universe was feeling generous, you would soon be enjoying a full week of soulmate time. It felt like a dream.
Please let this happen. I need some Tae-time to recharge my soul.
Oberyn randomly popped up by your side and pawed at your arm with a pathetic whine.
“Ok, ok,” you relented. “Let me get my shoes on and I will take you for a walk.”
As you slipped on your favorite pair of rainbow Crocs, you reached up to grab his harness and leash. Oberyn danced around you in circles and it took a few tries to get him situated and out the door. By the time you returned to the apartment, you decided it was time to grab some lunch and start planning your vacation week.
So much to do, so little time.
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March 18th, 7:47pm
You were just starting up another load of laundry when you received a Snapchat notification from Taehyung. You unlocked your phone in a flash and opened your Snapchat app. You clicked on his name in your messages with your breath held hostage.
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Oh no! I’m not ready for the disappointment yet.
You were just about to fall into your familiar pit of despair when another message popped onto the screen.
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Your shrill cheers and exclamations scared Oberyn right out of the laundry room and into the safety of the living room. You almost felt bad for scaring the daylights out of your dog, but turnabout is always fair play in this house. He scared you half to death on multiple occasions. A little payback was definitely in order.
You immediately started a video call to Taehyung, bouncing with glee all over your apartment. He answered after only a few seconds, and thankfully, was fully dressed.
“Well, hello, beautiful,” Taehyung quipped. “Feels like I just saw you hours ago. Couldn’t get enough of me earlier?”
“I think you showed me plenty this morning,” you joked. “Now, dish out the deets, Kim. Will you be here by this weekend?”
“How does tomorrow sound?” he replied with a smirk. “I was able to cash in my miles to book an early flight tomorrow morning. I’m packing as we speak.”
“Are you kidding me?” you nearly shrieked. “You’re really going to be here tomorrow?!”
“Yup yup,” Taehyung chirped. “If you pick me up at the airport, I’ll buy you lunch. How does that sound?”
“It sounds perfect, Tae-Bear,” you sighed happily. “I can’t wait to see you.”
“Same here, babe,” he smiled softly at you. “I’m going to finish packing and then I have to go drop off Tannie at my sister’s. She’s going to dog sit for me while I’m gone.”
“Awwww,” you cooed. “Bring him with you! You know Obie misses his little brother. You already have him cleared as your emotional support dog. Why don’t you just bring my precious Yeontan to see his favorite aunt?”
“You really don’t mind?” Taehyung questioned. “You know he’s just chaos disguised as a ball of fluff.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” you retorted. “Tannie is an angel. I’ll start clearing out a space for him. I have an extra bed for him and everything. The boys still eat the same food, right? Just bring his bowls and a blanket for the bed.”
Taehyung considered your proposal carefully, and then pursed his lips.
“I think you need to ask him yourself,” Taehyung suggested. “Maybe you can convince him to come with me.”
Taehyung switched the perspective on the phone so you could see into his apartment. He walked down the hallway calling for Yeontan. Curled up on an elaborate dog bed and surrounded by a plethora of dog toys sat the fluffiest dog known to man. Yeontan lifted his head and yawned cutely into the camera.
“Tannie!” you cooed at him. “What are you doing, sweetheart? Are you napping?”
Yeontan’s fluffy tail wagged in excitement and he stood up and shook the sleepiness out of his fur. You reached over to lift Oberyn from his spot on the couch and put him in view of the camera.
“Look, Obie,” you instructed. “It’s your little brother. Say hi.”
Both dogs tried to sniff at the other dog in the frame, and their eyes lit up in recognition.
“Tannie, do you want to come and visit your big brother Obie?” you asked the animated pup on the phone. “Tell your daddy that you want to come over to stay with us.”
Oberyn barked at the screen and wagged his tail, and Yeontan followed suit. The yips and growls from both dogs made you and Taehyung giggle profusely. You released your wiggly pup and sat forward on the couch to grin at your soulmate as he switched the perspective back to his handsome face.
“Ok, I guess you win,” Taehyung relented with a smirk. “I’ll pack Tannie’s things as well. Let me call my sister and cancel the sitter. I will forward you my travel itinerary as soon as that’s done. I love you, I miss you, and I will see you tomorrow, babe.”
“Same,” you replied joyfully. “Please be careful and get some rest. I know how cranky you get when you don’t get enough sleep.”
Taehyung stuck his tongue out at you like a petulant child and then made a goofy face into the camera. You made an equally funny face and then you both blew each other kisses and ended the call. He had a lot of packing to do, and you had to prepare for his arrival.
This is unbelievably wonderful. I never would have expected my break to go as well as this.
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March 19th, 6:17am
You parked your car and dashed inside the airport lobby. You were supposed to meet Taehyung in Baggage Claim to help him with his bags and with Yeontan. The little fur ball was pint sized, but he was also fierce.
You spotted Taehyung’s silky waves under a hunter green beret near the middle of the baggage claim area. Once you were close enough, you noticed he was struggling to keep Yeontan calm and quiet as the carousel started moving.
“Sir, you need to control your dog,” you chided in a nasally pretentious voice. “Don’t make me call security.”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung sputtered, not looking up. “I promise he’s actually really sweet, but he’s just really excited right now. He’s seeing his aunt for the first time in years.”
Taehyung spun around abruptly and shoved an ecstatic yapping Yeontan into your arms and then leaned in to place a fat kiss on your cheek. You gaped at his playful grin and shot him a knowing smile while Yeontan placed numerous kisses to your face.
“You knew it was me, huh?” you giggled, giving Yeontan a few kisses in return. “Sneaky Tae-Bear.”
He shrugged and wandered off to grab his bags from the carousel. You placated Yeontan and waited patiently as Taehyung rolled three suitcases over to you. Once you got everything packed into the car, including Yeontan strapped into the dog car seat, Taehyung lifted you around your waist and spun you around joyfully. Once he lowered your feet to the ground, you stayed wrapped in his bear hug on the verge of tears.
“Tae,” you breathed out shakily. “I really missed you.”
His arms tightened around your waist and he nuzzled his face into your neck.
“I missed you too,” Taehyung sighed sadly. “Let’s never let this much time pass without seeing each other. I didn’t realize how empty I felt, darling, until I held you in my arms.”
You chuckled at his dramatics and pulled away to look at his face. His mischievous smirk was fully loaded complete with a lifted eyebrow and you shook your head at his antics.
“Drama queen,” you joked.
“Hey,” he shrugged. “It’s the reason you gave me the middle name Elizabeth.”
You hurried home to get Yeontan settled in with Oberyn and Taehyung situated in your guest room. Once everything was unpacked and set, you ordered Thai food delivery for lunch so you and Taehyung could catch up while the boys played around the apartment.
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“I really like your place,” Taehyung commented with a mouthful of Pad Thai. “It’s smaller than mine, but the setup is so much better.”
“How do you do that?” you asked in a pout. “How is it possible for you to compliment and insult my apartment in the same sentence?”
“Just talented, I guess,” he grinned while stealing a spoonful of your Tom Yum soup. “Speaking of talent, what hot stud did you have over recently, you little minx?”
You felt a rush of blood creep across your cheeks and ears at that last comment.
How the fuck does he know?
“What are you talking about, Tae?” you muttered nonchalantly while clearing your throat. “What makes you think that I had anyone over?”
“Well, I happened to notice the condom wrapper and used condom in the trash can in your bathroom,” Taehyung mused. “Someone had a big guest to entertain, didn’t they?”?”
You nearly choked on the Thai tea you were drinking, and Taehyung was damned lucky you didn’t do a spit take all over his expensive looking vintage clothes. After you recovered from your near death experience, you glared at the smug look on his face. He was chomping away happily on yet another spring roll and he paused to waggle his eyebrows at you and grin.
“Sooooo,” he drawled. “Who was it? Anyone special or just a rando from the bar?”
You hesitated. Taehyung would remember Jungkook. How could he not? You were constantly raving about Jungkook’s adorable bunny smile, his rippling muscles, the beautiful mole under his lip that you wanted to kiss every time you saw him. As you were debating the issue in your head, Taehyung picked up on your hesitation and scooted closer to you on the couch.
“It’s someone I know, isn’t it?” he assumed correctly. “C’mon, soulmate, dish me them dirty deets. I won’t judge.”
“Uh, yeah, you will,” you shot back in defiance. “You always judge, Tae.”
“Well, yeah, ok,” he admitted. “But I promise it will stay between us. Pinky promise!”
He stuck out his pinky and your heart fluttered with elation.
The pinky promise…
After the Great Soulmate Debate of 5th grade, you and Taehyung developed a signature “Ultimate Soulmate Handshake” that started with a linking of your pinkies. You lifted your eyes to meet his challenging gaze and you knew that he was testing the true strength of your relationship with his little gesture. You smirked at him and linked your pinky with his own, and you both stood up to do the proper handshake.
What followed was an overly complicated ballet of fingers, palms, and ridiculously dated dance moves ending with you jumping into his arms and you both striking a pose. Almost a decade had passed since you’d both completed these actions, yet it seemed like only yesterday you were sealing some kind of deal or promise with the Ultimate Soulmate Handshake.
Taehyung wrapped his arms around you once again and twirled you around the living room. Both of you were giggling like idiots, and you could not remember when you ever felt so happy. Taehyung truly was the other half of your soul, and you didn’t realize how much you missed him until that exact moment. Your giggles morphed into a quiet sob, and Taehyung quickly lowered you when he felt the atmosphere between you shift.
“Awww, babe, don’t cry,” he pleaded while wiping away your tears. “Why are you crying?”
“I just realized how much I’ve missed you, Tae-bear,” you sniffled. “It’s been too long.”
“Oh, honey,” he cooed while pulling you closer. “I know, believe me. I feel it too. I definitely feel like you were the thing that was missing in my life. Come here, baby, let’s dry those tears.”
Taehyung pulled you into the kitchen and grabbed a paper towel from the counter. He dabbed at your tears until you pulled the napkin away to clean up your face and blow your nose unceremoniously into it. He grimaced playfully at your actions and then pulled you close so he could kiss your forehead. You walked around the counter to toss the used paper towel in the trash and turned to find Taehyung looking curiously at the box you’d left on the counter.
“What’s this?” he asked in wonder. “It’s beautiful. Look at the embellishments on the feet and the resin lacquered over the collage. Did you make this, babe?”
“No, I found it in my closet,” you said. “I don’t know where it came from. It’s not mine.”
“You could’ve fooled me,” he quipped. “This totally screams your name. Look at those stickers, these colors, and that handwriting. How is this not your box?”
“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I think I would remember making something like this, Tae. I honestly have no idea what it is.”
“What’s inside?” he asked while lifting the lid. “Hey! My hamburger!”
Taehyung lifted out the small plastic hamburger toy and his boxy smile made a sudden appearance on his glowing face. As bright as his smile was, your confusion was matching it in intensity.
“What do you mean your hamburger?'' you questioned carefully.
Taehyung’s smile dropped and transformed into utter disbelief.
“You don’t remember?!” he shrieked. “Are you fucking kidding me?! How dare you?!”
Taehyung stomped off in the direction of your bedroom and you followed him, still perplexed by this mystery hamburger toy that brought both joy and anger to your soulmate.
You walked into your room and found Taehyung digging into the bowels of his suitcase. A few perfectly folded articles of clothing flew over his shoulders and you caught them in midair. You were just setting them on the bed when Taehyung screeched and startled you into a sitting position. He rounded on you and held up the hamburger toy and another small toy resembling a strawberry milkshake.
“딸기/ttalgi (strawberry),” he stated simply. “That was what I started calling you after you spilled that milkshake on my head after our first fight, remember? I said it was superior to apple, even though you refuse to accept it. In fact, I’m bringing it back because it totally suits you.``
The confusion on your face evaporated as the memory came hurtling back to you. You brought your hands up to cover your mouth and your eyes widened at the revelation.
“Holy shit,” you murmured. “I haven’t thought about that in years. What was that fight even about anyway?”
“It was over that Japanese girl we both wanted to date in 4th grade,” he reminded you. “The one who had the bright red hair, what was her name?”
“Oh yeah,” you drawled. “Asuka. She was beautiful, just like a cherry blossom petal falling from the sky.”
“A little cliche, but ok,” Taehyung chuckled. “But yes, her. We were at that burger place and we saw her. You told me you were going to ask her out and I got mad because I wanted to ask her out. We fought and ended up throwing food at each other.”
You blushed at the memory and tried to hide your face. It was so embarrassing to think about how immature you used to be.
“Sorry, Tae-bear,” you apologized. “I don’t even remember what you said that made me so angry.”
It was Taehyung’s turn to flush awkwardly. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and huffed out a sigh.
“I, uh,” he stuttered. “I said that you couldn’t ask Asuka out because you were a girl.”
“Oh snap,” you gasped. “You did say that, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” he admitted sheepishly. “We were in 4th grade, babe. We didn’t know shit about sexuality back then. You just knew you liked both genders and I refused to believe that was possible.”
“That was until senior year when you met that percussion guy from marching band,” you scoffed. “What was his name? Kai?”
“Oh, Kai,” Taehyung reminisced fondly. “The pretty one who got away. He was adorable.”
Taehyung shook the memory away and lifted the toys again, determined to finish his story. He kneeled in front of you, leaning his forearms on your thighs for balance.
“After Asuka turned us both down, we were left filthy and heartbroken,” he continued. “Your shirt stained from the hamburger I threw at you and me covered in sticky strawberry milkshake. We made up in the parking lot and bought each other prizes from the bubble machine inside the lobby. Ironically, these were the prizes we got. I kept the burger and you kept the milkshake.”
He handed you the toys and you cradled them against your chest.
That was such a long time ago. My, how things have changed.
“Before we moved, we swapped toys,” he murmured, his voice thick with melancholy. “It was like our special soulmate talisman. I was you and you were me.”
You both looked at each other with misty eyes and failed to stifle the sniffles coming from your noses. The memory of your first real separation haunted both of you still. That day was agonizing for both of you, realizing that you may never be close to each other again. Almost two decades had passed and the wounds still felt so fresh. It only worsened when his parents moved back into town the year you and Taehyung left for college.
Oh, the irony…
“Oh, Tae,” you croaked. “I’m so sorry.”
You lurched forward and encircled his neck with your arms. He held you in his tender embrace and you both rode out the outpouring of emotion leaking from your faces. It dawned on you that neither of you ever really dealt with the separation, choosing to remain mute about the whole thing and pretend it never existed. In reality, it did exist, and it almost broke the both of you. Through carefully placed visits and outreach, you’d managed to keep the friendship bound haphazardly with metaphorical glue and tape, but it was never the same. You both had some real damage control to conduct, and maybe this was your opportunity to do so.
You pulled back and brushed your fingertips along Taehyung’s tear streaked cheeks and planted a fat kiss on his lips. Displays of affection were completely natural for the two of you, and it was established long ago that any emotional baggage that came along with it was just another piece of your soulmate bond.
“We’re both idiots,” you laughed against his lips. “You know that, right?”
Taehyung returned your laughter and your kiss, palming your cheeks to squish your face playfully.
“Come on,” he sighed. “Let’s get off the floor. I didn’t fly all the way over here to cry on the floor with my soulmate.”
You both huffed out a little laugh as you got up off the floor. You wandered back into the kitchen hand in hand after cleaning your faces with makeup wipes. Once you made it back to the box, Taehyung placed both hamburger and milkshake toys on the counter next to the box and proceeded to investigate the other items in the box. He lined up the other items next to your toys and then pulled out the folded piece of parchment. His interest was definitely piqued because you saw his eyes light up like flying saucers in the night sky.
“Whoa,” he breathed out in amazement. “What is this?”
He carefully unfolded the paper and spread it across the counter. You sat on one of your bar stools next to him and leaned on the counter. You hadn’t spent much time investigating the paper since the first day you discovered it.
“This is incredible,” he said, his voice heavy with excitement. “The parchment is well worn, which means it’s pretty old. Look at these colors, this calligraphy is amazing, and the brushstrokes are gorgeous. Where did you find this map, babe?”
“I already told you,” you repeated. “I don’t know where it came from. I found it in my closet. How do you know it’s a map?”
“It has all the characteristics of a map, the checkpoints, the layout, the design,” Taehyung explained. “Don’t you remember when I was collecting all those maps in junior high?”
“Oh yeah,” you drawled. “You became obsessed after we watched The Goonies and you were convinced that we would find treasure somehow.”
“Hey,” he insisted. “We found some really cool stuff with my Dad’s metal detector, remember?”
“Yeah,” you admitted. “We also found out about trespassing on private property and that it’s illegal to dig holes on government property and-.”
“Regardless,” Taehyung cut you off. “I know what I’m talking about and this map is really fucking cool. How are you not excited about this?”
“Honestly,” you sighed. “It kinda freaks me out. I don’t know who made it or where it came from and that bothers me.”
“Well, that’s why you have me, your own personal map expert and detective,” Taehyung bragged. “So, all of this random stuff was inside that box? There wasn’t anything else?”
“Well, almost everything,” you began. “There was a banana key chain USB, but it was Jungkook’s. He traded this four leaf clover necklace for it.”
You immediately regretted the words as soon as they left your lips. Taehyung’s face registered the name “Jungkook” as familiar, and you knew the instant he connected the dots.
“Oh shit,” he teased. “Jeon fucking Jungkook, that hot guy you tutored in college? That’s the stud you had over?! Damn, boy must be packing some heat!”
You buried your face in your arms and tried to hide from his incessant mockery.
Of course, he would remember.
“Stop,” you pleaded. “It was totally random and unplanned. I went out with Gina for St. Patty’s and I bumped into him at the bar. One thing lead to another and, well-“
“You had a midnight snack of Kookie and milk?” Taehyung suggested, lifting the clover. “You got lucky?”
You smacked his arm and he winced from the impact. You tried to stay mad at him, but his lips dropped to a pout and he started fake crying.
This boy…
“That isn’t going to work on me, Tae,” you said sternly. “Not gonna happen.”
His fake sobbing increased and he kept giving you the sad puppy dog look. When you saw an actual tear gloss over his cheek, you sighed and walked over to kiss his arm. He kept pouting until you finally gave in and kissed his lips. You both smiled at each other, and you rolled your eyes at your overly dramatic soulmate.
“Why does that always work on me?” you whined. “It isn’t fair.”
“What isn’t fair is that you traded a USB drive for this cheap plastic clover necklace,” Taehyung argued. “I mean it does light up, but it probably wasn’t an even exchange. Was the sex just that good?”
“If we’re factoring that into the equation,” you blushed fiercely. “Yes, it was most definitely an even exchange. In fact, I may owe him.”
“I am going to need a full detailed report later, babe,” Taehyung announced. “But for now, I want to talk about this map. Tell me what you know about it.”
“Not much,” you admitted. “I just know that there are seven smudges with words next to them and then there’s that big swirly heart thing connecting everything together.”
“Six smudges,” Taehyung corrected. “And why are some of these lines darker than the others?”
“What are you talking about?” you huffed. “I counted them. There are seven smudges.”
You finally took a closer look at the map and you gawked at the absence of one of the previous smudges from your earlier inspection.
What the hell?
“That can’t be right,” you whispered. “I know I counted seven.”
You pointed at the space where the first smudge had been. In its place was another block of text connected to the first block of text with a flourish of swirled ink. The text now read:
Were you wandering around looking for an erased dream too? It’s different from the typical definition of destiny. Your pained eyes are looking at the same place as me. Won't you please stay in dreams?
One time for the present, two time for the past, Happy that we met each other, now til’ the very end.
You traced your fingers over the new block of text and your brows furrowed in confusion.
That definitely wasn’t there before.
You also noticed the darkened line of ink running between the blocks of text. You traced its path across the page to the next block of text. This block read:
The heart no longer races when hearing the music play, Seems like time has stopped. Oh, that would be my first death I been always afraid of. If this can no longer resonate, No longer make my heart vibrate, Then like this may be how I die my first death, But what if that moment's right now?
The charcoal smudge was on the other side of the line, which abruptly faded as it neared the cryptic verse. You continued to trace the line across the page while Taehyung examined the lacquered box again.
“Hey, ttalgi,” Taehyung asked. “Why does this word have glitter around it but the others don’t?”
You looked up at him and focused on the word Time he was pointing out on the box. There was indeed a double line of purple glitter surrounding the letters that certainly wasn’t there before. You sighed in exasperation at this new information.
What the hell am I getting myself into with this box and this map?
“I don’t know, Tae,” you sulked. “It probably doesn’t mean anything.”
“How can you say that when something belonging to Jungkook and something belonging to me came out of it?” Tae quirked. “You’re doing that thing where something gets complicated and you just want to walk away, aren’t you? This is the Chinese puzzle box all over again.”
“Tae,” you whined. “Please don’t bring that up again. I was tortured enough with you hovering over me until I opened the stupid thing.”
“It was worth it though, right?” he insisted. “What was inside the puzzle box, baby?”
“This,” you pouted, holding up your right hand. “My soulmate promise ring and I’ve worn it every day since then.”
“Maybe this map is going to lead to something amazing,” Taehyung suggested. “I’m already invested in solving this mystery. I just need a trusty sidekick to help me along the way. What do you say, soulmate? Want to help your Tae-bear solve the Legendary Spring Break Map Mystery?”
“Why does everything you name have to be named like that?” you scoffed. “Naming something Great or Legendary doesn’t automatically make it awesome, y’know?”
“Well, not with that attitude,” Taehyung argued. “If you want, I can lay everything out so it isn’t so scary for you. It’ll be just like the detectives on TV with the boards and the Post-Its and stuff. You don’t have to set anything up, I’ll do it and then you can decide whether you are in or not.”
You briefly weighed your options and decided that any adventure with Taehyung was worth exploring. It wasn’t like you had anything else to do during this break, and you couldn’t deny that the map wasn’t igniting your curiosity. Apparently, Taehyung’s enthusiasm was taking root in your mind.
“Fine,” you sighed out dramatically. “But if this ends up going badly, I’m going to beat your ass.”
Taehyung squeaked enthusiastically and started setting up an investigation station on your coffee table. After he procured paper, pencils, and other office supplies from your desk, he laid everything out and started marking items of interest with colorful Post-It notes. 
“What am I supposed to do while you’re playing Detective, Tae?” you asked indignantly. “Just sit here and look pretty?”
Taehyung looked up with a marker and a stack of purple Post-Its in his hands. He grinned and wrote something on the Post-It and walked over to place it on your forehead. 
“There,” he beamed. “Now, you’re officially part of the investigation. Now, make yourself useful, dollface, and get me something to drink.”
You removed the paper from your forehead and read what he’d written and immediately scowled. You crumpled the paper and threw it at his retreating figure. 
“I’m not your secretary, Taehyung,” you growled. “And call me dollface again and not only will I make you a pot of tea, I’ll pour it in your lap.”
Taehyung giggled and scrunched his nose at you while he attached the map to the wall with thumbtacks. You watched him scurry back and forth, continuously making notes and labeling portions of the map, and you shook your head and sighed heavily. 
What am I getting myself into?
March 19th, 3:27pm
“Ok, it’s ready,” Taehyung announced. “Come check it out, babe!”
Taehyung swept his hand across the living room and presented a color coordinated layout of seven different investigation stations. You tried to track his organization, but got a little lost as your eyes scanned the living room.
“Ummm,” you began. “What exactly am I looking at here, Tae? You need to explain the method behind this madness I see.”
“It starts over here,” Taehyung proceeded to explain, pulling you to the far left of the room to a purple hued collection of Post-It notes. “I’ve divided up the map into seven distinct sections and separated them by color. I think the items you found correspond to these sections, but I don’t know how yet.”
“What makes you think they have any connection at all?” you queried. “Did you find something else?”
“No,” Taehyung continued. “But there are seven different sections on the map, seven different items, and seven different words on that box. That has to mean something. The words also seem to coordinate somehow. That section with two blocks of text mentions time and the word Time on the box is the only word with glitter. That seems to be a connection.”
“Ok, but what about the items?” you challenged. “How are they connected?”
Taehyung lifted a finger and started to speak, but then deflated. He put one hand on his hip and blew out a breath. He was stuck.
“I haven’t figured that out yet,” he admitted. “I was hoping you could help me with that.”
“How?” you wondered aloud. “I know about as much as you do about this stuff.”
“Well,” he began. “You said that the only item missing from the original collection was that banana USB, right?”
“Yeah, but it was Jungkook’s,” you reminded him. “He took it and gave me that shamrock necklace. What about it?”
“I think that’s a clue,” he decided. “I also found my hamburger toy in there, and I’m trading back for the milkshake toy. That’s two items from the original set that are being traded out for something in return.”
You rolled that around your brain and found that it surprisingly made sense, even if it was a little far-fetched.
It can’t just be a coincidence.
“Say they are connected somehow,” you relented. “What would be the connection?”
“I have a theory,” Taehyung expressed with a smirk. “But I need you to go along with it because it sounds a little nuts.”
“You know I always give in to your crazy schemes, Tae,” you chuckled. “Why would this be any different?”
“Good point,” he grinned. “Ok, so, here’s the thing. I think you are the key to all of this. The box, the map, the items, everything.”
You stare at him without blinking and slowly digest his statement.
That’s impossible.
“How could I be the connection?” you probed. “I didn’t make this box or the map and none of this stuff belongs to me.”
“Exactly,” Taehyung reiterated. “They don’t belong to you, but they are connected to something that does belong to you.”
“What do you mean?” you continued. “Is this about the hamburger toy?”
“Yes,” he exclaimed. “And also the USB you found. You said it belonged to Jungkook, right? He gave you the shamrock necklace in trade and now that’s part of the collection, but it actually belongs to you now.”
“Yeah,” you assented. “But what does that mean, Tae?”
“Maybe it’s symbolic?” Taehyung suggested. “Like you two had to make the exchange so it could be complete?”
“What exchange?” you asked. “You mean the banana or the sex?”
“Both,” Taehyung insisted. “Two things could be true. You guys traded information and bodily fluids. Bet you’d both been thinking about doing that since college, huh?”
“Yeah, actually,” you giggled. “We just never found the right time.”
“Time!” Taehyung screeched suddenly. “That’s it!”
He reached over to grab the box and he pointed out the word Time on the box surrounded by purple glitter.
“Time,” you echoed softly. “You’re right. Jungkook and I even talked about how often we kept missing opportunities because the timing was never in our favor.”
“Well, time was absolutely in your favor when you ran into each other at the bar,” Taehyung insisted. “You said it yourself: unplanned and random, almost like it was-“
“Destiny,” you cut him off, moving to reread the text in question. “We had been dreaming about each other, looking at the same things, all those unanswered questions finally answered.”
“You told me that this wasn’t here earlier,” Taehyung stated, pointing at the second block of text he’d marked with a purple Post-It marked with a JK. “It’s here now. I think this text, this word on the box, and the shamrock-banana exchange are all connected to you and Jungkook. It all makes sense.”
“But why?” you murmured softly. “For what reason?”
“Let me ask you something,” Taehyung said, sitting you both down on the couch. “After all of this happened with Jungkook, how do you feel?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I mean, I thought it might lead somewhere, but he said he’s not ready for anything serious right now.”
“Not the right time?” Taehyung smirked. “And yet, you aren’t crushed by this shocking news. Why do you think that is?”
“I get it,” you explained. “I’ve been there before. Remember when I was dating Hoseok? I felt the same way, I wasn’t ready for something that serious even though he was. That’s why we ended it.”
“Oh yeah, Hobi-hyung,” Taehyung remembered fondly. “I liked that guy. It’s too bad that didn’t work out. You were so happy with him.”
“I was,” you sighed. “But I was young and selfish. I wasn’t ready to share my life with anyone yet.”
“And neither is Jungkook,” Taehyung pressed on. “Do you still have any lingering doubts about what might have been with him? I know that’s been bothering you for years. Don’t think I didn’t notice all those wispy sighs and pouts whenever his name entered the conversation. I don’t see any of that now though. Maybe you finally got the closure you needed with Jungkook.”
“Yeah, I did,” you smiled softly, grabbing the shamrock necklace labeled Exhibit A from the table. “I just got lucky, I guess.”
“In more ways than one, you minx,” Taehyung teased. “But you can tell me all about that later because I have another theory to toss at you.”
Taehyung pulled you over to a collection of green Post-Its and pointed out the hamburger and milkshake toys labeled “Exhibits B & C.” You nearly choked on the giggle threatening to escape from your lips, but you offered your soulmate a reassuring smile instead.
“If the purple section is Jungkook,” Taehyung began. “Then this green section is all about you and me. The toys fit into that theory, but I don’t know which word and block of text connect to them.”
“Assuming that’s true,” you retorted. “What unfinished business could you and I possibly have? I mean, we literally share everything with one another. We don’t have any secrets, Tae-bear.”
“That’s true,” he agreed. “But maybe we’re overlooking something. I’m trying to figure out which block of text would best describe us, and I can’t figure it out. It certainly isn’t the next one on the path.”
He pointed out the second block of text following the section he’d labeled JK. The words “music” and “death” kept swirling in your vision, and you felt a creeping tingle down your spine.
There’s only one person that could be.
Your phone dinged across the room, and you snapped out of your reverie momentarily. Leaving Taehyung to ruminate over the cryptic clues laid out before him, you picked up your phone and read the email notification you’d just received from work. As soon as you read the Subject line, you gasped and dropped your phone on the floor. The clatter captured Taehyung’s attention and he glanced up at your face and noticed the drain of color on your paled expression.
“Ttalgi?” he worried. “Is everything ok?”
You shook your head and tried to keep the tears from slipping from your eyes. Taehyung quickly made his way across the room and pulled you into his arms, trying to soothe the unknown pain away.  He didn’t know what was going on, but he instinctively knew that you needed someone to hold you together.
“What happened?” he whispered against your hair. “What’s wrong?”
“I know who it is,” you croaked out. “I know who that block of text is talking about.”
You leaned down to pick up your phone and you showed him the email you’d just received. Taehyung’s eyes widened and then darkened considerably when he read it. He couldn’t control the growl which clawed its way out of his throat.
“Min fucking Yoongi.”
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Author’s Note: The plot is thickening, y’all. What do you guys think of my Tae-bear? Isn’t he something else? The story is really going to take off from here, so I hope everyone is ready for an adventure. Please fee free to ask me any questions or leave any comments. I’d love to hear what you think of the story so far. 
PREVIOUS:
Chapter One:  There’s Always Time for Euphoria
NEXT:
Chapter Three:  The Beautiful Music We Used to Make
Map of the Soul Masterlist
@caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma​‘s MASTERLIST
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montanabarb · 4 years ago
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Puppy Tales By Phoebe “Bug” Harriott
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Log Entry #1: There is Evil at the bottom of my water bowl that I must uncover. I paw frantically, sometimes with all four paws, to no avail. I am hampered in my efforts by my Human who continues to fill the bowl with liquid. Does she think she can drown Evil? Silly Human. Evil cannot be vanquished by drowning. I will resume my efforts later, when the Human does not have her video recorder at hand.
Log Entry #2: The Big Dog is under the illusion that she is the boss of me. I find this amusing as I am skilled at subterfuge. Big Dog is not easily charmed, yet. For now I bide my time until I assert my rights as Top Dog.
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Log Entry #3: The Old Red Dog has rebuffed my advances. At times he seems to invite play by running to his food bowl. Confusing. He avoids eye contact and seems remotely hostile to my existence. I am unafraid. He has no teeth.
Log Entry #4: There are two felines inhabiting our compound. Orange Nose Cat welcomed my advances and enjoys our rousing wrestling matches. She flicked her tail for my amusement but objected when I engaged. My feelings were hurt. Orange Nose Cat is a tease. But I still like her quite a lot. When I introduced myself to Black Nose Cat she got very big and made a noise that hurt my ears. Black Nose Cat is not any fun. She doesn’t even have a tail.
Log Entry #5: I have discovered a tasty delicacy I call Truffles. You have to snuffle in the gravel around the large horse machine parked by the barn to find them, but it’s worth it. The flavor is grain, grass, and horse butt. Such delicious nuggets!
Log Entry #6: I like shoes. That is all.
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Log Entry #6 Update: I LOVE shoes. The Human puts them on her feet when we go outside, then takes them off when we go inside, then puts them on for outside, then off for inside. Sometimes she forgets to hide them from me. Oh, the chewiness. The crumbly little horse butt tasty bits on the bottom. I LOVE shoes even more than Big Girl Lamb Chop that lost its stuffing and squeaker.
Log Entry #7: Big Dog tells me to anticipate a visit from the Farrier. He leaves a buffet of deliciousness on the barn floor. The Human thinks she clears up all the tasty bits. BD says NOT to disabuse her of this belief. I must use stealth to retrieve each tasty bit and carry it to a secure location to savor. If I must barf, I should do so in a remote area when the Human is not looking. I anxiously await the coming of this Farrier. I think my charm is working on BD.
Log Entry #8: Fences are the funnest puzzles. So many choices: go under, go over, go through? My Human understands me. I am Aussie. I am Problem Solver. The Human keeps adding baling twine and wood scraps to make it even funner! Human is so attentive to me but she looks tired.
Log Entry #9: The Old Red Dog has finally succumbed to my charms. He gives me hugs but it is rather awkward because he sits on me and arches his back. I’m not convinced these are “good” touches.
Log Entry #10: I am sorry about that time liquid excrement shot out of my pucker hole in the middle of the night on the Male Human’s side of bed. I warned the Human that a fart was a message from Fort Gut to Fort Butt that General Turd was on the move.
Log Entry #11: The Human puts Rugs all over the hard floor. They are extremely effective at stopping a power slide. The edges are VERY tasty. Especially the one that my Human brought all the way from Morocco in 1992. It is handmade and has fringes! The Human forgot about the Rug rolled up under the bed in the guest room. It was hard work but I brought it out to her when she forgot to close the door. The Human was impressed but not grateful.
Log Entry #12: Orange Nose Cat is a two-timing hussy. I think she is ghosting me. Not a sniff, not a snuffle. Yesterday, I spied Orange Nose Cat slinking her fine, silky cat fur up against Old Red Dog. “Hey Mister <<purr>> gimme some sugar.” What?! I thought we had something special.
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Log Entry #13: I met a new Human and was so excited stuff leaked out onto the floor. The Human moves very fast when that sort of thing happens. The Human checks her wrist to count her steps every day so I think she appreciates the motivation to increase her Activity.
Log Entry #14: The Human who made this house put chew sticks along the bottom of all the walls and around the doors. This brilliant Human must love dogs.
Log Entry #15: Pachelbel’s Canon in D was delicious, almost as yummy as worms. I only got a small taste of Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring and will have to report back at a later date if I can find it again. I am inhibited by a barrier around the big black music thing.
Log Entry #16: The Farrier visited yesterday! I only barfed once, at 1:16am. I tried to be discreet, per Big Dog’s instruction, but I was confined to this Cage thing the Human puts me in at bedtime.
Log Entry #17: I am mastering the Human’s language. “Come” and “Sit” are very tasty. This “Ouch” is confusing. I believe I have several names. In addition to “Phoebe” and “Bug,” I recognize “That’s Not a Chew Toy” and “Leave the Old Dog Alone.”
Log Entry #18: ONE minor excavation project and the Human insists on a bath.
Log Entry #19: The Human assumes I will just blindly “come” when offered a mere mystery meat morsel, sometimes just a fraction of a morsel. When I was just a kid I fell for that ruse. I am Aussie. I am smart. I will pretend I hear nothing and continue to snuffle for truffles.
Log Entry #20: The Human managed to catch me and shackle me with The Leash to go to School today. The teacher smells AMAZING! I think I love her more than Orange Nose Cat.
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Log Entry #21: Every time I retrieve a pair of shoes (actually I prefer to enjoy one shoe at a time) the Human puts it immediately back in my closet. I suspect the Human is OCD. I think I’ll recommend she try a belly rub. They sure do settle me.
Log Entry #22: I hate to complain, but the Human does not refill my kiddy pool on a timely basis when I empty it. The Human calls it a water bowl.
Log Entry #23: This is confidential, but I pooped my pants in the car on the way to School. Drool dripped from my mouth. Very embarrassing but I scored lots of lap time the rest of the day.
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Log Entry #24: As the new kid in the Pack, I believe I am being fed inferior vittles. I continually ask to eat the Big Dog’s chow, very insistently but politely of course, but am forever rebuffed. I wonder if I am malnourished?
Log Entry #25: Sometimes Big Dog acts like my mom and licks my face and ears. Like a spa day. Other times Big Dog does that arched back hugging thing right on my head and it just doesn’t seem right to me.
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Log Entry #26: I poop on the floor and the Human steps in it once, maybe twice, ok three times, and you’d think the sky is falling. Old Red Dog drops a trail of turds from his pucker hole on the way to the door and the Human just picks it up and sprays stinky stuff. Sheesh. I did learn some new words that appear to be reserved for extreme situations.
Log Entry #27: The Human keeps the Son of Satan in a closet. SoS makes a very loud noise and tries to suck the fur right off my body! I try to disable SoS and frighten Him with my ferocious tone of voice. I suspect that Big Dog and Old Red Dog might have sold their souls to SoS because they are unaffected by his loud presence in my home.
Log Entry #28: I have been promoted to Apprentice Barn Chore Dog and awarded limited access to the horse stalls. Big Dog has full authority in the barn and unlimited access to the horse butt nuggets. BD tells me to be patient and my time will come. For now, I relish the delightful aroma that emanates from BD’s pucker hole after a morning of butt nuggets.
Log Entry #29: The Human keeps asking, “Where’s my left slipper, Bug?” I need more information, Human. Is that the one without the heel or the one without an insole?
Log Entry #30: Major discovery! If I chomp on Mr. Monkey, Moo Cow, and Weanie Squeakee just right, they sing a delightful soprano song. I can carry the melody all around the house!
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animedeviant022 · 8 years ago
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Robotech/Macross AU snippets
First time posting drabbles or anything similar here, so pardon if I don’t do this correctly....
This was posted in ff.net but I thought I would post it here too.
This is a collection of snippets that show the evolution of Rick Hunter and Lisa Hayes’ relationship, all of them revolving around food or eating.
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“I’m going, I’m going!  You don’t have to drag me over… Geez.”  Lisa complained.
“Someone has to drag you out of that office to eat something.”  Rick said as he gently but forcefully led his CO towards the table where his other friends were already eating.
“Wow, you have managed the biggest miracle of all.”  Claudia marvelled at the sight of her friend finally being able to eat lunch with the rest of them.  Lisa had been so busy lately that it had been a good couple of months since she had joined them.
“Behold, a wild Lisa, out of her natural habitat.”  Roy said in a dramatic manner.
“Ha, ha, you are all very funny.”  Lisa said snarkily as she sat down in the table next to her friends to eat.  She rolled her eyes at their antics but she was secretly happy to be there.  While the others were distracted, she shot a smile to Rick, giving him silent thanks for dragging her away to spend time with her friends.
Rick just smiled in understanding and turned to Max and Miriya’s latest story about Dana.
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“That was a killer shift.”  Rick complained to Max as they walked into the deserted mess hall.
“The question is what was worse, the fighting or writing the report after?”  Lisa teased him from her seat at the table.  They had agreed to meet for dinner but men’s shift had been extended by a particularly pesky Zentraedi attack had dragged their shift for a good couple of hours more.
“Writing the report of course.”  Rick replied cheekily as they got nearer.  “I guess we will have to get a sandwich by now, the kitchens are probably closed.”  Rick said, disappointment clear in his voice.
“Don’t worry, we saved you a plate from earlier.”  Lisa said as she pointed at two covered plates.  “We even warmed them up when Max called to say you were on your way up.”
“It was Lisa’s idea.”  Miriya said, giving credit where it was due.  The Captain blushed at being outed like that.  Both men turned to her, twin smiled on their faces.
“Wow, thanks Lisa.”  Max said, gratefully as he sat down next to his wife.   “Yes, you are a lifesaver!”  Rick said appreciately and the Captain blushed.
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“Oh, they are out of chocolate chip cookies?”  Rick asked with a pout.  He had just gotten out of another patrol and was joining his friends for afternoon coffee and cookies so he could have enough fortitude to write his report.
“You snooze, you loose.”  Roy sing-songed at his little brother.
“Don’t worry, I got some for you.  I know how you like them.”  Lisa said as she presented a small plate to him.
Rick looked at her and the plate she was offering him with stars in his eyes.
“Don’t feed the addiction.”  Roy told her in a mock scold.
“Oh yes, keep feeding the addiction.  Thanks Lisa!”  Rick said happily and she just smiled in return.  Claudia and Roy looked at her with a significant look but she totally ignored them, content on watching Rick enjoy his treat.
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“Oh!  I’m stuffed!”   Lisa said as she laid back in her seat.
Rick looked over at her plate.  She had some croissants left on her plate, intact.
“Are you sure?  You are not going to eat that?”
“Nope, stuffed.”  She replied and Miriya giggled at her uncharacteristic tone.
“Do you mind?”  Rick asked shyly.
Lisa just looked at him seriously for a second.  His baby blue eyes were clear and earnest.  He looked like a little kid begging for food.  With a delicate snort, she waved at her plate and said. “Go right ahead.”
Rick grabbed a croissant and gleefully attacked it with strawberry jam.  As he stuffed some of it on his mouth, he happened to look at Roy, who was looking at him a bit incredulously.  
“What?”
“You just grabbed it from her plate.”
“Yeah, can’t let good food go to waste.”
“And you do not find that weird.”
“Why is it be weird?” Rick asked perplexed.  He looked at Lisa who played it off as nothing.  She knew what Roy wanted to get at but she knew that Rick had no ulterior motives.  He was that much of an oblivious, innocent child when it came to things like that.
“Let him be.”  Lisa said, a warning in her voice.  “He’s hungry and he’s right.  Food should not be wasted.  I should not have grabbed that much food to begin with.”
“‘S fine, you saved me a trip to get more.”  Rick said innocently and smiled at her.  Lisa returned the smile and Roy just sighed at the way she indulged him.
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“Oh There you are Lisa.  Hey Roy!” Rick said as he hurried over to them.
“Good morning Rick.” Lisa said brightly. Roy just rolled his eyes at them.
“Here, I brought you some coffee.”  Rick said happily.
“Did you bring me some?”  Roy sing-songed.
“No.”  Rick deadpanned an answer.  He was extending a cup to Lisa when he suddenly stopped and said. “Um… I forgot which one was yours.”  Rick said uncertainly, looking at both his hands in puzzlement.  “Didn’t the guy mark them?”  He mumbled to himself as he looked at the disposable cups.
Lisa laughed at his predicament as Rick analyzed the cups to see if they had any markings.  He had no luck, the cups were completely identical.
“I think it’s this one.”  Rick said, unconvinced.
“You sure?”  She asked doubtfully.  Roy was trying hard to contain his snickers at their predicament.
“It would make sense that I would grab yours in my left hand so I could drink from mine with my right hand… Yep, it would be this one.”
Lisa took it with certain trepidation.  Rick liked his coffee with hazelnut flavoring which she absolutely detested so she hoped not to end up with that.  In turn, she liked strong espresso coffee with just a bit of milk to cut the bitterness.  Rick claimed that he didn’t need any more chest hair and didn’t even want to smell it.  She usually would end up teasing him by calling him a wuss.
Taking the cup, She took a tentative sip and wrinkled her nose at the liberal taste of hazelnut as it coated her tongue.  She had only taken a small sip as a precaution and she still felt the need to brush her mouth out with something strong to scrub that taste out of her tastebuds.
Rick on the other hand was making a face after taking a sip out of his own.  “Man that is bitter!” He claimed.
They looked at each other uncertainly, sizing each other up and their options.  Granted it would be a bit weird… but on the other hand, it was a perfectly good coffee, and if there was one thing that they had learned from their jobs, was to never give up on good coffee.  So with a shrug, they exchanged their precious liquids and took a new sip, finding their respective coffees to their satisfaction.  They nodded to each other and smiled.
Roy, who had seen the whole exchange, had been sputtering from the moment the two had sized each other up, not quite believing but seriously suspecting the exchange that was about to happen.
“What did you just do?”  he squealed in shock.
“It was good coffee.”  Rick answered nonchalantly.
“No need to waste it.”  Lisa said.
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“Dude, you and Lisa are seriously weird.”  Roy blurted out one random afternoon.
“What are you talking about?”  Rick asked absentmindedly as he looked over the maintenance records for his plane.
“The whole eating from her plate thing and exchanging coffees… Normal people don’t do that!” Rick finally stopped looking at the papers to pay attention to his flustered friend.  “Why do you say that?  We are friends.”
“Friends don’t do that!  Is it like a sisterly Thing?  Do you see her like a sister?”
“What?  Sisterly?”  Rick recoiled giving his older ‘brother’ a shocked look.  “You remember I’ve kissed her,” He said like it was another unknown fact. He then leaned forward and finished his sentence, “like in the mouth.” he whispered as if it was some kind of secret.  “ That would be gross if I see her as my sister.”  Rick straightened from his position and wrinkled his nose in distaste.
“Well, it is still weird.”
RIck just looked at him in shocked puzzlement and walked away, scoffing at the line of questioning.
Roy’s body sagged, his energy all but sucked out of him from dealing with the two oblivious friends that could not even admit about the fact that they liked each other.  Roy really thought that if he pointed it out long enough, both of them would admit that their actions towards each other spoke louder than words.  Apparently though, they didn’t speak loud enough for Rick to understand.
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“No Rick! just go and get some for yourself.”  Lisa told the pilot exasperatedly as he kept making puppy eyes at her.
“But Lisa!  How will I know if I’ll like it or not?”  Rick asked as he blinked innocently at her.  Lisa snorted at his antics as the rest of the table groaned at what would promise to be more flirting involving food.  Roy felt an indigestion coming his way.
“Then serve yourself a little bit and get more after.”
“But that means that I have to go back and forth.”  He whined with a pout as Lisa rolled her eyes at him.
“You are young, you can… Hey!”  She exclaimed as he suddenly bent over and ate the rest of the morsel of food that was left over on her fork.  
Rick hummed appreciatively at the food as Lisa just groaned at his childish antics.  Everybody in the table froze at the familiarity that Rick had taken upon himself when it came to Lisa.
“It IS good.  Ok, going to get some.  You need anything?”
“Bring me another piece of toast will you?”  Lisa replied.
“Got it!”  He said good naturedly as he left.
“Is he always like this?”  Sammy asked incredulously as she watched the young pilot walk to the serving line.  This was the first time that the Trio had witnessed the interactions between the two but today they had all come out of a meeting and had decided to eat lunch together.  So aside from the Trio, Max, Miriya, Claudia and Roy were witnesses to this latest affront to Lisa’s personal space.
“Yes they do but now it has gone too far!  Lisa, you have to put a stop to it!”  Claudia exclaimed.
“I don’t really mind.”  the brunette demurred.
“No Lisa, Clau is right, I cannot believe the liberties that kid has been taking from you.  One thing is friendship but this is beyond…”
“Here you go Lis!” Came the infuriatingly cheerful voice as Rick placed the requested toast in her plate.
“Rick, you are touching Lisa’s food.”
“I washed my hands.”
“That is not the point!  And what was that stunt that you pulled before where you ate out of her fork?”
Rick had the decency to look ashamed at that.  He looked at Lisa, an apology in his eyes.  The Captain just sighed and waved it off as if it was not a big deal.  
“No, don’t wave it off!”  Roy hissed at her, trying to keep the conversation in their table.  “This is a big deal.  Rick you cannot be invading Lisa’s personal space like that.  People are going to talk.”  He finished and instinctively all of them turned to the Trio, who just blinked at them in surprise.  Kim was the first one to catch on and crossed her arms angrily at the implication of their actions.
Rick coughed uncertainty to diffuse a bit of the atmosphere and to cover up his guilt at basically outing them as gossipers.  He decided to answer the question to divert the attention and to finally put a stop at all the recriminations from their friends.
“But Max and Miriya finish stuff from Dana’s plate all the time.”  Rick pointed out, innocently.
“That’s because they are her parents, you dunce!.”
“Well, what about Max and Miriya tasting food from each other plates?”  Rick asked, puzzled.
“They are married, of course they can do that!”  Claudia now said exasperated at the boy’s naivety.  Claudia snuck a peek at Lisa and her heart almost broke when she saw her proud friend look away.  She could almost picture those big green eyes of her dearest friend starting to fill with crystalline tears.
Rick frowned in puzzlement, thinking hard at what his friends had said.  Suddenly, it seemed like he’d had an epiphany and exclaimed, “Well you two aren’t married and you feed each other.”  He said, pointing at Roy and Claudia triumphantly. All of his friends groaned in unison, the sound eclipsing a small sound coming from Lisa.
“But she’s my girlfriend!”  Roy said, completely exasperated.
“Oh.”  Rick said quietly.  Everybody thought that they had finally gotten to the clueless man.  “I guess there’s no problem then.”  Rick said with a shrug as he grabbed something else from Lisa’s plate.
They all looked at him, their jaws unhinged at his callous response.  Claudia turned to her friend, who was still looking away, hiding her face from them.  She noticed that Lisa’s shoulders were shaking infinismaly and her heart broke for her.
“And what does that even mean?!”  Roy roared and Lisa let out a squeak.
At the sound, Rick couldn’t hold it back anymore and burst out laughing which prompted Lisa’s shoulders to shake even more.
“Did you see what you did to Lisa!  The poor woman is crying!”  Kim pointed to her.  
That comment had the power to make him stop laughing.  Rick finally turned to look at his CO who also turned to him.  Rick realized that they were right, he could see the evidence streaking down her cheeks.  They looked at each other in silence for a few seconds.  Lisa’s lips trembled…
And then they both couldn’t contain it anymore and burst out laughing again!
“What?!”
“You all should look at your faces!”  Rick cackled as Lisa laughed so hard, she fell sideways on to him.  Rick placed his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder as Lisa buried her face on his chest.
“I think you shocked them into silence.”  Lisa squeaked as she wiped tears of laughter out of the corner of her eye.  “Is this really how we are going to tell them?”  
“You - and him…” Roy babbled.  Claudia had not managed to close her mouth and neither any of the Trio.  Max just watched them, blinking in shock.
“Husband… Does it mean what I think it means?”  Miriya asked in puzzlement.  Sometimes the Micronian’s speech was so confusing to her but it seemed that in this case it was puzzling for all the others too.
The first clue that she might have understood correctly came from the Trio that squealed loudly at the self satisfied smirk that Rick and Lisa gave each other.  To dispel any other doubts, Rick leaned over and nuzzled Lisa’s cheek in an affectionate and intimate gesture that was hard to explain in any other way.
“Girl!  Since when?”  Claudia asked after all the hugs and exclamations were given.
“Oh, a couple of weeks now.”  Lisa said nonchalantly as she cuddled to Rick’s side.
“How?”  Roy asked his friend.
“I guess it was your questions that made me realize that what I felt for Lisa was a bit different than regular friendship.  She IS my best friend but she’s more than that too so…  I just asked her if she wanted to go out on a date and well, you know the rest.”  Rick answered as he looked at the emerald orbs that robbed him of his sanity.  Lisa just flushed at the look that he was giving her.  The Trio awwed at their loving looks while Claudia looked on like a proud mother.  The moment was interrupted however when Roy thought of something.
“Wait, does this mean that you guys are going to get even worse now that you are dating?”
Rick’s eyes twinkled mischievously at his older brother’s question.  “I dunno, I was thinking of pulling a ‘Lady and the Tramp’ on the next Pasta Day.”  He tried to keep a straight face as much as he could as his friends and his new girlfriend groaned in unison at his comment but at the end, he laughed with the rest of them.
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viralleakszone-blog · 7 years ago
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Easy Chocolate Truffles For Low Carb Eaters (Only 4 Ingredients!)
http://www.viralleakszone.com/easy-chocolate-truffles-for-low-carb-eaters-only-4-ingredients/
Easy Chocolate Truffles For Low Carb Eaters (Only 4 Ingredients!)
chocolate truffles, easy candy recipe, easy truffles recipe, low carb candy, low-carb
I’ll admit, candy-making is not exactly my forte. It’s an exact science and, as such, requires proper instruments, precise timing, careful tempering, yada yada. Sometimes — OK, actually most of the time — I just want something decadent and yummy without all the fuss, which is not always an easy feat for a low-carb eater. That’s when I whip up these simple, low-effort, low-carb dark chocolate truffles using only four basic ingredients. If you’re a truffle-making pro, you’ll see that I take a few shortcuts here — so the resulting truffles may not be the elegant, velvety, picture-perfect morsels that you’re used to. But the taste? I doubt any chocolate lover would complain once they took a bite.
Things You’ll Need
1 cup heavy cream 4 ounces unsweetened chocolate OR sugar-free semi-sweet chocolate of your choice (such as ChocoPerfection) ½ cup powdered sweetener (I prefer Swerve) OR skip if using sugar-free semi-sweet chocolate 2 tablespoons salted butter
Step 1 Simmer heavy cream and powdered sweetener (if using) in a saucepan over medium-low heat, stirring constantly until the sweetener has completely dissolved. Don’t stop stirring, as you don’t want your cream to scorch. Stir in butter and chopped chocolate, then continue stirring until it’s a smooth and glossy chocolate ganache. Once you’ve reached that stage, immediately remove from heat.
Step 2 Pour ganache into a bowl and chill it in the fridge for about an hour, or until it’s firm enough to mold. Step 3 Roll out some parchment paper over your work surface. Take a spoon and scoop up some ganache. Using another spoon, push the spoonful of ganache onto the parchment paper in a mound. Continue until your ganache has been all scooped up. This recipe yields about 16 truffles, depending on individual size.
Step 4 Now, traditionally, you would chill these mounds of ganache until they’ve firmed up some more, roll them into balls, coat with a layer of melted chocolate, then roll them around in a secondary coating. Not me! From here, I simply dust them with a bit of powdered sweetener. Step 5 Now put them back in the fridge to firm up. Once they’re firm, sprinkle with a bit more sweetener if desired and enjoy your no-fuss treats!
Optional toppers
For a bit of variety (and also because I happened to have these ingredients in my cupboard), I made a second batch of truffles and, before chilling, sprinkled a few with roasted chopped pecans and dutch-processed cocoa powder mixed (to taste) with powdered sweetener. Go crazy here and use whatever floats your boat. A few ideas: coarse sea salt, chili powder, cinnamon, flaked coconut.
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