#ok I reached my tag limit :’)
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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#monogatari series#monogatari#monogatari oms#nademonogatari#nadeko draw#yotsugi ononoki#ononoki yotsugi#nadekodraw:tv#monogatariseries:gif#nadekkogif#ok i MUST go nuts about this somewhere so (cracks knuckles) tumblr tags let's go#first gif yotsugi is doing an attitude pirouette en dedans#second gif yotsugi is doing a demi rond de jambe á terre from fifth position#technically she’s dancing on pointe w/ her boot acting as a pointe shoe which is clever!!! her boots must have crazy foot articulation LOL#for context these are ballet moves which I LOVE!!! i am being catered to shaft looked at ME & said NADEKO DRAW HAS BALLET MOVES 4 U!!!#SO the real neat thing about this imo is the way that it is animated. probably done this way by the limitations of the animators timewise#for context in ballet a key thing when you dance is that your body should be constantly moving outwards from yourself e.g.#your arms reach as far as they can and your legs reach as far as they can etc. your back too! up and out like you are being pulled!!!#the point of this is bc dance is alive & humans who dance are alive! even when you hold a position you are thinking about moving outward#doing this breathes SO MUCH life into the dance! it is literally so important visually it makes a HUGE impact#but yotsugi doesn't do this! she doesn't breathe life into the dance bc she's not extending her body outward she simply holds a position#yotsugi is obviously very skilled to do what she's doing here like a pirouette is hard af you need crazy strength to go on pointe too#so imo she performs the moves in the correct way! she is turned out! she knows what she is doing! this is not due to lack of training!#my personal theory is that she moves this way because she is a reanimated corpse!!! she literally CANNOT dance like somebody who is alive!!#corpse baby is dancing her best and imo she's very good!!! 🥺#as a ballet enthusiast i just think it's a really neat lil touch and works well (despite the fact that it is probably accidental LOL)#anyway hi i'm noisy please enjoy my ballet ramblings lmfao! i will regif this when the BD comes out bc i want it to be extra pretty!!!#regarding the gifs. both first and second are loops!!! please enjoy ballet dancer yotsugi 🩰
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alright no more asks about the new book or my review on it please 👍
#lab notes#I appreciate what everyone had to say I just remembered I hate fandom stuff and don't want to be forced to think about that dumbass shape#the jittery animal in my brain is reaching its limit in being nuanced and fair#and also I've seen maybe the dumbest shit to ever come out of this fanbase in tags and stuff lately and it's making me sad. Lol#let's send asks about different stuff now ok ?
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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You know back when the AU was a comic, I was able to gloss over so much of the politics of Mewni Creek I was not well equipped to handle and focus instead on the relationships and bonds that were important to the story going forward and explain the new governmental system of this combined world after it had been established and the masses calmed long down.
But now? Now that it’s a fic? Now that I have to essentially re-start the Ovelia establishment and better flesh out her blossoming friendships and connections to the main cast?
I’ve really gotta buckle down and write the politics and post-Cleaved chaos don’t I.
Man…
#septarsis dragonfly au#I love what the world of Mewni Creek EVENTUALLY becomes#but before now I had never ironed out HOW it got there#but now?#I gotta strap in and write this.#Toffee my beloved you’re gonna have to wait a little bit longer still :(#don’t worry I’ll get to you :(#making Mewni Creek a democracy in progress actively dismantling monarchical systems in place for hundreds of years#equally distributing land. rebuilding. prioritizing monsters in the new system and treating them as equals for the first time#granting equity to the oppressed and calming the masses#especially the MEWMANS#guys the humans are fine Echo Creek is used to weirdness they’re chill#they’re freaked out for a bit but they settle they’re used to weirdness bc of the Dragonflies (thank Great Grandma Deja for that)#the Mewmans are the actual issue#but all that needs to be long set in stone/actively being worked on for Toffee’s character arc to work as intended#he has to be put in a new world of peace and positive progress#the world Mylanie always wanted to see#for that arc to work#I promise Ovelia establishment also sets the ground for Toffee’s healing arc#Im very serious when I say that Toffee as I have studied for seven years would struggle to embrace real positive growth#while the main issues in Mewni are still ongoing#he’d be focused on that like he has for hundreds of years instead of himself#and he NEEDS and that arc#also uh is it too soon to say that even though I’m gonna be putting so much effort into this new government…#… it really does not last as long as they wanted#due to#a certain individual down the line#who wants to abuse monarchical power for their own sick twisted goals#GOD I’m so excited for the antagonist of the AU to develop#ok I reached my tag limit :’)
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i WANT to write the wind rises kavexis au. i WANT to write about pokemon au for my selfships. but. slime rancher calls. slime rancher calls, and it says "look shroom. look at your lovely mosaic tangle largos. you need to find the nightshade secret style for your tangle slimes, shroom. why don't you do that? why don't you also do some quests for viktor, while you're at it, and unlock his lab?" slime rancher tells me to play for a bit and then i check how long i've been playing and it's been 150 minutes and it's 1 20pm and I haven't had lunch yet
#I'm too weak. slime rancher got to me :(#and i still need to decide what type of largo my sabers will be :( idk what to do for them!!!#tangle?? mosaic COULD be cool. but I think something like phosphor or even pink could be better#ik I ADORED my crystal saber largos in my old main. I loved those things so much#I might go with that again..#or hunter?? noo.. not dervish either.. honey could be cute actually#ILL SEE ILL SEE#ILL FEED THEM A MINT MANGO NO MATTER WHAT AND SEE WHAT I THINK OF A SABER HONEY LARGO#everyone but Alexis is probably so confused rn. if you're reading this I love you <3 thank you for reading all of my rambles <33#I'm soso excited to see twig on the 31st <33 about 18 more days!! yay!!!#OKOK SHUSH SHROOM!! GO TO BED!!#MUAH I LOVE YOU ALL YOURE SO COOL AND AMAZING!! AND I LOVEYOU!!!!!!!#:shroom is typing...#OH I GOT TO A HIGHER LEVEL IN THE 7ZEE REWARDS CLUB I HAVE AN UPGRADED GROTTO NOW!!#I really like the 7zee rewards part of slime rancher but at the same time it's so expensive#NO NO STOP TALKIGN SHROOM GO TO BED GO TO SELEEP STOP YAPPING!! NOO#DSHFHJSDFHJF#NO MORE TAGS NO MORE TAGS NO MORE TAGS. OK? OK. I want to add more tags I will talk until I reach the limit of this one thanks for listenin
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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"Maybe you believe deep down that no one will ever be able or even willing to meet your needs.. :-(" yeah haha maybe. Maybe NOT so deep down lol
#like yaaaaaa being used and abused and mistreated and taken advtange of all yr life can do that#like genuinely can i just have a deep calm love 😂#where i dont feel like im walking on eggshells or need to play a role or make myself uncomfortable to make it work 😂#where im never pressured to do things that will harm me or be blamed for my own mistreatment 😂#can i just have that 😂#it feels so impossible. like yes subconciously ive played a part in it obviously#i have things im attracted to that arent good for me#but genuinely i didnt realize up until now#im nuturing yes and love to spoil but i dont think i actually LIKE being 'mommy'#it just feels familiar. it feels like that's what is wanted and expected and so i play into it#idk my heart breaks for all the shit i did in the beginning of the relationship that i didnt really want to do#i genuinely 100% THOUGHT I WANTED TO. I THOUGHT i liked it but looking back i was just#doing what felt familiar and doing what i felt i had to to not get abandoned#and it just hurts my heart#how much i betrayed and hurt myself just so someone wouldnt leave me#and now i see that if i had just been myself and he left it would have been an alignment#a moment of 'oh we're not right. oh well'#i mean it wouldnt have gone down that way and i didnt know the knowledge i do now#but just. idk.#my heart just hurts for myself tonight. how badly i want to be loved and belong but how impossible i make it to FEEL love#how i assume other people dont like me so i hang back and save them from having to experience me#yuck! you dont wanna be around me! im annoying! im cringe! i dont want you to have to pretend to like me when you dont it's ok#and it ends up pushing ppl away. i have to be myself to attract the people i belong w#which is so scary#if im myself if im just open and authentic then it's also up for anyone to reject me and judge me#but it lets people see me who WANT to know ppl like me#but even that feels so surreal to me#i force myself to believe my friends want me around because it's so mean to assume they dont#but i just cannot believe it#anyway idk i reached tag limit. im just sad and wish i had more community
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I couldn’t stop staring at those long, slender fingers as they lifted the glass of red wine to her lips, as they carefully cut up the meat with her knife and gracefully brought the food to her mouth...
She looked at me and smiled. "You always tend to provoke controversy, just like a Venus flytrap. Do you long for a sword that much?"
#im unwell.#ooh there are so many thoughts happening.#ok the main <33 of this is that whenever i have the urge to look at this dialogue again i search “venus” in my big cool document.#and that is so. so. *fallen peter pose but with hearteyes*#my work#arakawa shuuji#from madness with love#sillyposting#i hope its clear that she is. eating. me.#both metaphorically and actually this time.#yadayada i love my wife. we know this. NEXT#anyway its very ironic that this piece about cannibalizing me is eating me alive. i dont think this is GREAT work and#i dont know why i shaded it the way i did and the hands still look weird and the plate perspective is off and. youknow.#selfdeprecating art stuff.#despite this being still way better (imo) than the guy-standing-there i usually doo#like i took a reference picture of myself. i figured out harmonious colors maybe..#there is actual meaning and purpose behind the things i did this time.#all of this is “better” than what im used to. and still im less satisfied with it than my older works.#its frustrating.#i need to stop thinking about thiss and enjoy my wife.#my lovely wife....... yes. this is what ill do.#ok =w=bb let me talk about that last thingie she says.#i already mentioned what the venus is doing to me mentally.#but the thing is.... this is a silly game.#she and the other characters are CONSTANTLY saying nonsense. actual nonsense.#and. that makes this seem like just more random stuff. but it isnt to me.#especially the mention of the venus flytrap is intentional. i feel that.#ok i actually reached the tag limit so let me be brief:#im mentally normal about the fact that she = venus flytrap.#im also normal about her linking herself to famed murderweapon the sword by saying i long for [her]it. =w=b
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#dude I can’t take it I have like 6 drafts of me going fucking insane over kieran I actually cannot handle this many emotions#HES WAYYY FUCKING COOL#HES EVERYTHING TO MEEEEE UUURHHGHGHGHGFHH BANGING FIST ON THR GROUND#seeing kieran slander physically hurts me like shut UPPPPPP YOU DONT GET IT YOU DONT GET IT ARRFHHGHGHFHHGHJGH#sorry. normal. normal.#idk how I even fucking survived playing through the game like every sentence out of his mouth or anything#any dialogue that was marginally related to him gave me the urge to throw my switch across the room#I can’t. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t take it#EVERYT(ING ABOUT HIM. HES SO.#like….. he’s so deeply relatable to me… it’s rare to me to find a character that resonates with me this much#especially on this aspect like ughhhhh fuck you. fuck you!! shut up!!!! DONT CALL ME OUTTTTTT#watching kieran is like watching myself from third person and oh. oh man. you were fucking WEIRD. get a GRIP?#‘were’ don’t kid yourself you still ARE. oh my god.#its like getting blasted straight in my face with my own insecurities like shut up. stop it.#you’re. you’re ruining my perfectly crafted facade. I haven’t flaunted this insecurity enough to be in control of it yet can u. stop.#BUT HE GIVES ME SO MUCH HOPE THO. LIKE#I can do it too-! maybe there’s hope for me yet#uuuughhghhhhhh#stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger#head in hands#I’ve been slacking….. shaking head I gotta keep up the momentum#just do it!!!!#it’s been a month+ since… I need to do it. I need to change. you’ve been getting behind… you can still do it…!#write a list…? probably have to… even I’m starting to forget#1) be honest. don’t. don’t change yourself to be ‘palatable’. you’re ryu. your friends will love you no matter what you do because im me#don’t hide away your true self it’s ok!!!!! you can say what’s on your mind you can say your opinions#your preferences… don’t lie….#they won’t hate you they won’t take it personally they want to know about ‘you’ after all… ryu#2) just talk to your friends…. there’s nothing to hesitate about. they understand even if you’re low energy they understand if you’re busy#reached the tag limit fuck
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Sankofa.
I look back at my life often by 10 years, then 20 years. Sometimes those decades were easier to look back on because that happened to be a smoother year. No tragedy for a change, I lost weight, something big was accomplished, lots of nice memories were made. But the times where it's harder to look back, I learn from those years the most. That's a positive I find in it.
This time 10, then 20 years back was 22 and 12. Far better times for me as 12 was the year before the worst thing happened and at 22 I was rekindling my longest relationship and he proposed that Summer. I said no because us getting married would've been stupid. And I was tired (not tried enough though smfh) of doing dumb shit with my life. We still were lovey, dovey for the majority of that year though and it was nice.
I wonder what'll be like when I can look back 30 (I know I could now, but I mean back when I can remember significant things) years ago? That'll be around late 30s, early 40s. Here's to it being when I turn 42 years old, I can say a decade ago I made the best decisions for all the changes I needed in life.
#life#my life#sankofa#age isn't just a number really#approach things with love#but also#approach things with wisdom#long reads#writing#22 was pretty cool#chapter 32#things are getting better#life lessons#lessons learned#with time#in time#im doing my best#change is hard#but#change is good#positive mental attitude#looking back#thinking big thoughts#uh trying to reach the tag limit#black girl#black is my favorite color#i enjoyed this#thanks for reading#life is good#ok last one
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i think possibly one of the most difficult parts is not knowing what is true and what is still true but only for me. like when you're in that space between lack of insight and growing awareness and when you're realising there are things you've been thinking and believing that are actually a sign of being Unwell, it's like ok. and you take that on board. but then start to wonder about every thought or event for an unspecified length of time previous to now. and which of my current thoughts are actually closer to symptoms and how do i even begin to parse them when the only professional i see is available for 20 minutes every 3-6 months
#szd#my schizoaffective diagnosis came almost by accident#i didnt mention the biggest thing that had been going on bc i didnt realise it was relevant to sitting in a psych's office#i was just there for adhd meds#i happened to mention it to someone at my university and word eventually reached him through them#and he was like 'why didnt you mention this to me' and i was like srry my guy i just didnt know it was relevant let alone treatable#so what else is relevant??? bc even limiting it to distressing or stressful things doesnt narrow it down much#anyway#back on my bullshit (putting half the post in the tags)#delusion tw#i think??? im so sorry idk how to tw this#nd yk whats also frustrating is i have other things to ask my dr abt but this stuff always takes priority like ok but what about the trauma#won't somebody please think of the trauma
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Painful wing fanart incoming but you already knew about it and colored it so like -w- hiding it for the gore and blood tho >>
I feel like it was less gory in black and white but honestly 👀✨ aight don’t mind me I’m going to the tag now
BEHOLD!!! AN ART TRADE!!! @pixlokita it is time!
Caution, do not click read more if you do not intend to read. This is 12,192 words. And no, I'm not kidding. This is so much longer than most of the stuff I write. That being said, enjoy!!!
Evan said Michael was sick, which worried Jeremy. Being sick should not mean Michael would try so hard to avoid Jeremy, especially since he knew it would make Jeremy worry about him more.
But the main part Jeremy was worried about was the way Evan’s new wings kept fluffing up. Was Michael mad at him?
Don’t worry about it, Jeremy, he told himself. If Michael’s mad, he’ll tell you eventually.
It just stung. Evan and Gregory were wandering around the house, trying to see if their wings would allow them to do various things. Evan’s were too small to do much, and Gregory still hadn’t gotten used to them yet, but at least they had something to do while Mr. Emily tried to figure out what could possibly cause this.
“Ugh!” Gregory exclaimed, plopping down on the sofa next to Jeremy. He took the soda from Jeremy’s hand and took a giant sip. “These things suck.”
“What do you mean?” Jeremy asked, unsuccessfully trying to retrieve his Coke.
“I mean,” Gregory scowled, taking another sip, “that wings are stupid. They don’t even bend the way I want them to.”
“Well…” Jeremy said thoughtfully. “They are just extra limbs, right? With bones and joints and stuff?”
“I guess so.” Gregory finally gave Jeremy his soda back. “But they don’t move how I want-“
“You couldn’t do much when you were a baby right? Learning to crawl?” Jeremy chugged the rest of his Coke before putting the empty can down. “It’s an accomplishment when babies get their heads off the floor on their own, you know. And rolling and stuff.”
“Oh.” Gregory clearly hadn’t thought about it that way. “But Evan’s got excellent control already.”
“He’s had them longer.” Jeremy shrugged. “Maybe he’s just a quick learner. Or maybe, there’s less wing to work with. Could be a bunch of things.”
“But…” Gregory sighed. He inched closer to Jeremy on the couch, his wings refusing to bend in a natural way.
Jeremy awkwardly looped a comforting arm around Gregory. “You’ll get there eventually.”
“They just hurt. All the time.”
“I can’t help with that,” Jeremy chuckled.
“Sure you can! Mike did this thing once, where he…” Gregory chewed his lip. “Well, I’m not exactly sure what he did.”
“You want me to pet you?” Jeremy said in disbelief. “Nuh uh. Go ask Evan. That’s not… No.”
“Why’d you make it weird?” Gregory shook his head. “It was like…”
“Like a shoulder massage,” Evan interjected helpfully. His wings flexed, expanding fully as he explained. They barely went past his shoulders, but the point got across.
Jeremy admired the confidence with which he showed them. He’d personally be too worried about people calling him a freak. Which, thinking about it, was not likely to happen in this house. Everyone was too nice here.
“Mikey went like this,” Evan said, pulling Jeremy’s arm back to get to Gregory’s wings.
Gently, Evan messaged the inner edge of Gregory’s wings, right where they extended from his back. Gregory’s wings convulsed, the claw on one nearly hitting Jeremy in the face. “I think they get itchy,” Evan mused. “We might have to just do this more often.”
“No kidding,” Gregory said with a sigh, his eyes closing and his shoulders relaxing. “But Mike’s still better at it.”
“Wonder where he got his practice,” Jeremy replied. He didn’t mean to sound bitter, but it still came across that way.
Evan winched, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he kept focused on his task. Gregory sighed absently. “Wings are a lot of work.”
“Seems that way,” Jeremy replied.
Gregory folded and unfolded his hands while Evan worked. “I just…”
Jeremy spared him a glance as he went to get another can of Coke. “Something on your mind?”
“His girlfriend,” Evan said absently.
“Cassie’s not my girlfriend!” Gregory said, straightening. His wings fluffed up as he said it.
“Oh.” Jeremy had no idea what to make of that. “What happened to her?”
“I don’t know!” Gregory replied. He ran a hand through his hair to try to make it lay flat. “She was at Evan’s party, and she looked really bad. I think Mike took care of it, but he didn’t really say anything about it afterwards.”
“She’s probably at the hospital, Gregory,” Evan replied, trying to be soothing. “We can visit her once we figure out what to do about this first.”
“Stupid wings,” Gregory grumbled. “Making everything harder.”
Jeremy didn’t know how to reply to that. He cracked the can open and took a sip. “Have you asked Mike?”
“He’s sick,” Evan answered for Gregory. His wings fluffed up again.
“Maybe we should check on him then. He’s been resting all week right?” Jeremy asked, trying to be casual about it. Evan had been very guarded about his older brother this whole time.
Jeremy came over every day, and every day, Evan said the same thing. “Mike’s sick. He can’t see anyone right now.”
It had been happening since the day Gregory’s wings had burst through his skin. Jeremy was more than a little concerned. Sure, he hadn’t reacted well to the wings at first, but none of them had. He’d been more supportive when Evan’s had burst through later that same day.
But Michael’s expression became very guarded for the rest of the day, and the next day, he was “sick” and couldn’t see Jeremy. And Evan was very good at shooing Jeremy away when he tried too hard to see him.
“Shouldn’t he eat something?” Jeremy asked.
Evan frowned. “Mikey told me that there’s not much he can stomach right now.”
“Crackers always work,” Jeremy mumbled to himself. Shaking his head, he tried again. “What about water? Maybe he’ll start feeling better with some fluids.”
“I… guess…” Evan seemed less sure. Conflicted, he looked at Gregory and then glanced at the closed door to his cousin’s room.
“I can get it. You keep helping Gregory,” Jeremy said quickly. He didn’t want Evan to change his mind.
Evan relented, nodding slightly. “Okay. Make sure to get him a big glass. And don’t be loud. And-“
“I know how it works when someone’s sick, thank you.” Jeremy set his Coke down and rushed back to the kitchen to grab a glass.
Evan had not been exaggerating. When Jeremy crept into the room with the glass of water, Michael was curled into a tight ball on the bed.
“Mike?” Jeremy whispered into the quiet room.
Michael groaned in response. He rolled over to face Jeremy, exposing the hair plastered to his face with sweat.
“I um.” Jeremy swallowed. He felt a little foolish now. Michael was just literally sick. He wasn’t mad at Jeremy or anything like that. “I brought you some water.”
Michael opened his eyes, feebly reaching for the glass.
“Are you strong enough to hold it on your own?” Jeremy asked.
Michael had to consider that for a moment. Then he shook his head.
“Here-“ Jeremy sat next to Michael on the bed, helping pull him into an upright position so he could drink the water.
Michael leaned heavily against Jeremy, eagerly drinking the water. Jeremy had to brace himself against the wall to support the extra weight. Then abruptly, Michael pulled away.
“J… Jeremy,” Michael whispered weakly. He gripped at Jeremy’s jacket, burying his face in Jeremy’s shirt. “I…”
“It’s okay, Mike-“
Michael seized in Jeremy’s arms, sobbing heavily. His hold got tighter and tighter as his body shuddered with pain. Jeremy tried to set the glass on the bedside table, but he barely had it on the edge and water soaked into the carpet as he pulled Michael the rest of the way into his lap. “I got you,” Jeremy said into Michael’s hair.
“It hurts,” Michael cried, still shaking.
“You’ll get through this,” Jeremy mumbled.
A tearing noise broke through the sound of Michael’s sobs, even as they intensified. “JEREMY!!!” Michael wailed.
“I have you, Mike. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”
Dimly, Jeremy registered the large wings erupting from Michael’s back. Oh. Oh. This was happening now. Bloody feathers spread out, wrapping around Jeremy to return his comforting gesture.
Gradually, Michael’s crying ceased, and Jeremy was left holding an exhausted teenager with bloody wings. “I am sorry,” Michael whispered, pulling his hands back, the wings retracting slightly. “I did not mean to, uh…”
“It’s okay, Michael.” Jeremy tried to smile at him. He was determined not to squirm in discomfort from all the blood currently soaking into his jacket.
“I… should go shower,” Michael said awkwardly.
“Yeah…” Jeremy wriggled uncomfortably in his jacket.
“Sorry,” Michael said. “I can wash that if you want.”
“It’s not the biggest deal,” Jeremy said.
“It is if you go home wearing a jacket covered in blood,” Michael replied. “It’s only fair that I clean it, since that’s my blood.”
That wasn’t how Jeremy saw it, but he figured he wasn’t getting out of this. “Okay.”
Michael shifted carefully, putting his feet on the carpet. Almost instantly after taking his weight off the bed, he completely lost his balance. His wings flew out, trying to redistribute the weight, but Jeremy didn’t realize that as he caught Michael by the waist. Both of them tumbled off the bed, Jeremy hitting the carpet with a soft ‘oomph.’
“I am sorry. This was not my intent,” Michael said from above Jeremy.
“They take some getting used to, huh?” Jeremy replied, trying to ignore the heat rising to his face.
It hadn’t been much on the bed with Michael clinging to him like a lifeline. But on the floor with Michael on top of him, pinning him to the ground, Jeremy was suddenly aware of how close Michael was to him.
Michael smiled ruefully. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to walk on my own right now. I don’t know how I’m going to wash all this blood off by myself.”
“Maybe your uncle could help?”
“He’s probably back at the library again,” Michael mused as he crawled off Jeremy.
Evan wouldn’t be able to handle it, Jeremy knew that much. And he couldn’t ask for Gregory’s help without alerting Evan to the amount of blood that coated them both.
“Do you want me to help?” Jeremy asked, feeling the heat more intensely in his face. Please say no. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle it.
“Really?” Michael chewed his lip, considering it. “I would not want to be a bother… But if you are offering…”
Jeremy’s heart quickened at the prospect. “R-right.”
“Help me up?” Michael asked.
Jeremy pulled Michael to his feet, unprepared for the wings to wrap around him again. “Um.”
“Sorry. I don’t have much control over them yet,” Michael replied sheepishly.
“Do they want me to carry you?” Jeremy gauged the idea of carrying Michael to the bathroom. It wasn’t the worst idea he’d ever come up with.
“It’d probably be less awkward than walking there like this,” Michael agreed.
“So I’m just going to…” Jeremy twisted around in the space the wings allowed him. Michael hissed out a pained breath, but soon he was behind Jeremy. “How well can you jump?”
Pretty well, apparently. Jeremy barely needed to adjust for the weight of Michael on his own back, hands linked beneath Michael’s knees. “Okay. Let’s get you taken care of.”
“I am not a child, Jer,” Michael said wearily. Still, he pressed the side of his face into Jeremy’s hair. “I am sorry to be such a burden.”
“You’re not a burden, Mike. You’re my friend. I’m absolutely willing to help you out when you’re in need.”
“Mmmmm,” Michael sounded almost mournful. But he didn’t argue.
“Okay,” Jeremy said. “So, I’m thinking they might need a decent soaking, right? Birds like to be fully submerged when they clean their wings right?”
Michael blinked at him from where he sat on the toilet lid. “What are you even saying?”
“The blood.”
“It is not dried yet. Not completely anyway.”
“So what? You were planning to just wing this whole thing, weren’t you?” Jeremy shrugged off his jacket.
Michael snorted. “I was planning to shower, Jeremy. But I guess I was planning to wing it, considering how I have wings now.” His wings stretched as he spoke, emphasizing his point. “I just don’t have the strength to stand there long enough to wash them off.”
“I-“ Jeremy sputtered. Clearing his throat, he tried to skip over the accidental pun he’d made. “Just going to let the water do the work?”
“That’s the goal.” Michael frowned. “There’s just a few problems.”
“Such as?”
“My shirt isn’t going to come off the same way it went on this morning.”
“Are you particularly attached to that shirt?” Jeremy asked.
“Not really. Could try to just-“ Michael pulled at the collar of his shirt.
“I’ll go grab a pair of scissors,” Jeremy said as Michael pulled experimentally at his shirt again.
He had to be careful walking by the couch, noticing Evan curled up for a nap. Gregory was nowhere in sight.
Returning with the scissors, Jeremy nearly dropped them upon seeing Michael. “What happened? I was gone for two minutes!”
Michael’s shirt was hanging off his body in shreds. When Jeremy looked closer, he could see sharp claws on Michael’s hands. “I…” Michael shrugged sheepishly. “I thought I could tear the fabric and take it off myself.”
Jeremy’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t let himself laugh. “Okay. I don’t think you did a very good job of it though.”
“It seems as though I failed…”
“Here, let me just…” Jeremy carefully reached around Michael’s head, one knee resting between his legs. It felt strange to be cutting through Michael’s shirt, but as the fabric gave way, Michael seemed to relax a little more.
Jeremy recalled Gregory and Evan both sitting on the couch as Michael measured the shape they needed cut from their shirts for the wings. Perhaps Michael needed a few of those done as well. Something to keep in mind for later.
“Hey, why is there blood all over-“ Gregory’s eyes widened as he peered into the bathroom.
Michael straightened quickly. Jeremy pulled back, hiding the scissors. “Hello.” Michael waved awkwardly, his wings stiff and very clearly exposed.
“You… you have them too?” Gregory’s voice seemed so small.
“Yes, it appears as though we will match.”
Gregory swallowed harshly. “I can help. I know how to get blood stains out of fabric.”
“I would really appreciate it. Thank you, Superstar.” Michael beamed at Gregory, who flushed a deep red.
“It’s no big deal…”
“Not to you,” Jeremy said softly. “But it helps more than you realize. Thank you.”
Gregory opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. He scratched his neck as his wings fluffed up, finally saying, “I’ll be quick. It probably won’t be good if Evan finds out.”
“It would be best if he did not know how messy the process is,” Michael agreed.
Gregory nodded, smoothing his hair down before hurrying out of the room.
Michael wadded the scraps of his shirt into a ball and tossed it to the floor. “Now that that’s sorted…”
Jeremy determinedly kept his eyes from wandering as he helped Michael stand. His friend leaned heavily against him for support as he attempted to undo his pants.
Jeremy belatedly realized that the only way this whole thing would work was if the shower ran over both of them. I’m going to be drenched, he thought sorrowfully as Michael muttered to himself in frustration.
“You could probably just sit while I wash the blood off,” Jeremy said when Michael finally stood there in his boxers. “Since it would be less exhausting for you.”
Michael blinked. “I suppose you are correct. I should have thought this through more.”
“It’s no big deal, man. You’re probably dealing with blood loss or whatever.”
“Still…”
“Hey, it’s fine. You spend all this time taking care of everybody. Maybe it’s time someone took care of you, right?”
Michael chewed his lip. “I suppose.”
“Okay. We’ll get you cleaned up in no time, Mike.” Jeremy said, smiling supportively. Michael tentatively smiled back.
As it turned out, it was a lot harder to clean up Michael than Jeremy initially thought. He kept twitching away, hissing out noises of pain at Jeremy’s touch.
Michael clenched his fists in his lap. “Okay. Clearly this is not the proper solution.”
“I can’t do this when it’s clearly hurting you, Mike. I just…” Jeremy leaned forward to rest his head against the back of Michael’s.
“This is nothing. I have endured much worse before.”
“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”
“Jeremy.” Michael said calmly, wringing water out of the washcloth. “I am sure it has become clear to you that things are not how they should be. The wings are only one part of it.”
“Yeah? What I’m hearing is that your father is abusive.” Jeremy wearily took the washcloth back, dabbing it gently against the space between Michael’s wings. At least like that it didn’t seem to hurt him.
“Well, not in the way you would think. Actually, I was thinking more of the comparison between growing limbs and losing organs. I think losing organs is still a more painful experience than this.”
“So you want me to just ignore your pain?” Jeremy asked, trying to decipher Michael’s meaning.
“I am saying I can handle it. I can be a man about this.”
No one is doubting that, Jeremy thought grimly to himself. “Maybe I can’t.” He tentatively rubbed at a clump of blood in the inner edge of Michael’s wing.
Immediately, it swung at him, throwing him against the sink. Pain flared throughout Jeremy’s entire body as he hit the floor. Faintly he registered that his face was bleeding.
“Jeremy?” Michael asked, twisting around. “Are you alright?”
“Nnnnngh,” Jeremy groaned. “I don’t think I broke anything.”
“I am so sorry. It appears that the wings are more sensitive than I thought.”
“No kidding.” Jeremy pressed his fingers to his cheek. He was lucky. The clawed joint of Michael’s wing had hit him just below the eye. Any higher, and he might’ve lost it completely. “Now what?”
“I suppose I should just sit under the water and hope for the best.”
“I think Gregory and Evan mentioned messages working out the soreness. Maybe I could at the very least-“
“I think we should avoid that for now,” Michael replied, his voice sounding stiff. “You have already been hurt once today.”
“Michael.” Jeremy tried to make his voice sound stern. “I knew the risks when I offered to help. So let me help.”
“Fine. Just do not do anything that will put you in danger again.”
“Don’t lie about how much it hurts next time,” Jeremy shot back. “Still gotta get all that blood out of your wings, you know.”
Michael clenched his jaw, but he only stared down into his hands. He couldn’t face Jeremy with the nasty cut on his face any longer.
Jeremy was lighter after that. He knew that even pressing a little too hard would make the wings spaz, and over the course of the next few hours, he succeeded with minimal interruptions.
Gregory popped in near the end to check on the progress. “Henry’s back. Do you want me to tell him about this?” He gestured at the entirety of the bathroom.
“I believe he should be informed. Please ensure that my brother does not come to investigate before we are done here.”
“And maybe grab him a dry set of clothes while you’re at it,” Jeremy said. As an afterthought, he looked at himself. “Maybe grab me something too, if you would.”
Gregory rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. How much does it hurt?”
“I suspect that I should be in more pain than I am,” Michael said, considering the question. “But Jeremy has done an excellent job of making sure the process is less than agonizing.”
“Uh, okay?” Gregory shot Jeremy a look.
“I can’t hardly touch him without the wings reacting,” Jeremy explained. “Nearly lost an eye the first time I did that.”
“So it’s bad.”
“It’s bad,” Jeremy agreed.
Gregory shot Michael a look loaded with concern, but he gave Jeremy a thumbs up. “I’ll ask Henry if he can get you guys some dry clothes. Maybe I’ll just imply that something else is going on in here if Evan asks.” He wiggled his eyebrows in a way that made Jeremy’s face burn.
“Gregory-“
But Gregory had already ducked out of the room, laughing quietly to himself. Jeremy sighed, preparing himself for the inevitable glares he’d get from Evan.
Michael sighed softly once Jeremy finally went to smooth out the wings. “That feels really nice.”
“Glad to hear it,” Jeremy said softly. “I think we got all the blood out.”
“Is it time to turn the water off then?” Michael asked, his eyes closing.
“I’d say so.” Thank goodness, Jeremy thought as he turned the dials back and pressed the tab down. “Now you need to dry off a bit.”
“Mmmmm….” Michael hummed to himself as Jeremy stepped into the tub with a towel and started rubbing Michael’s head with it.
Michael’s eyes fluttered open, and he smiled at Jeremy. “You really do like taking care of me, don’t you?”
Jeremy huffed out a sigh. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, would I?”
“I thought you just stuck around to steal our Coca Cola.”
“That too. But I do enjoy your company, Mike.”
The smile broke into a full grin as Michael tugged the towel out of Jeremy’s hands. “That is wonderful news, Jeremy.”
Did he really not know? Jeremy wondered.
Before he had a chance to answer, Henry peered into the bathroom, assessing the pool of water on the floor. He raised a tired eyebrow as he observed the two boys in the bathtub. “I wasn’t inclined to believe Gregory before, but seeing it for myself…”
Jeremy’s face ignited with heat. “I was just helping clean blood from his wings. Nothing else happened, I swear.”
“I was referring to the fact that Michael grew wings. What did you think I meant?” Henry’s eyebrows scrunched, and Michael gave Jeremy a funny look.
“I thought Gregory might’ve said something else,” Jeremy replied, shaking his head. “Forget it.”
“Are you alright, Jeremy? You look a bit feverish…” A frown tugged at the corner of Michael’s mouth.
“I’m going to go grab some more towels. And you two will be wanting a dry set of clothes, won’t you?”
“Yeah.” Jeremy nodded quickly.
Henry hummed at them before walking back out of the room.
“I am grateful for both you and Gregory,” Michael said, using the towel to dry the rest of his body. He slowly rose to his feet, finally able to stand on his own.
Jeremy determinedly did not stare. Instead, he wrung water from his hair.
“I would offer you the towel, but I believe it is too wet to be any real help. Seeing as your clothes are also drenched, the best course of action is to wait for Henry to return.”
Jeremy smiled weakly. “Yeah, that’s true.”
Michael stepped out of the tub, hanging the towel back on the rack after he went. Jeremy could admit that the wings looked pretty good on Mike. He’d been weary of it when he’d first seen the wings on Gregory, and he knew that Gregory was defensive about it now. But maybe seeing him help Michael would help.
“Do you need a bandage for your face?” Michael asked, making eye contact with Jeremy through the mirror above the sink.
“Oh, I uh.” Jeremy blinked at him. “It doesn’t… It’s fine.”
“Are you sure?” Michael’s mouth twitched. “I understand that me being like this must be unpleasant for you, but that does not mean you do not need assistance with that cut.”
Being like this? Was Michael phrasing things like that on purpose? Was he talking about the fact that he was in his boxers or the fact that he had wings? Jeremy crossed his arms before remembering that his shirt was soaked. He uncrossed them and simply said, “There is no problem. I just don’t need a Band-Aid.”
Michael walked back over, and Jeremy tried to take a step back before remembering he was standing in a bathtub. Trapped, Jeremy stood stiffly as Michael ran a thumb over his scratch. Don’t flinch, he told himself, but it still stung. The cut was pretty deep.
“You likely do need a bandage, despite your claim otherwise,” Michael replied. “I can help, if you need assistance.”
Michael gently wiped blood from Jeremy’s face and went in search of medical supplies. It stung when he cleaned the wound, but Jeremy found himself too fascinated by Michael’s cautious care to really notice. The tiniest furrow in Michael’s eyebrows appeared when he put the bandage on Jeremy’s face, and his hands lingered on Jeremy’s jaw for just a moment too long.
He almost seemed sad when he stepped back from Jeremy. “All better. See?” Michael smiled so quickly Jeremy wondered if he’d imagined the pain in Michael’s eyes.
“Y… yeah. Um. Thanks.” Jeremy touched the bandage, surprised by how big it was. “I didn’t realize the scratch was that big.”
“I still feel terrible for doing that to you. Is there any way I can make it up to you?” Michael asked.
Unable to come up with anything to say other than a request for Michael to kiss him, Jeremy shook his head and turned his attention to Michael’s wings. “Do they still hurt?”
“Not as much as they did,” Michael flexed them experimentally. Jeremy smiled faintly, recalling that Gregory was having immense difficulty controlling his own wings. Perhaps the size made it easier.
Michael made a face. “It appears that moving them still hurts, however.”
“Evan mentioned something about messaging the muscles earlier. He was doing it for Gregory.”
Michael brightened. “I suppose I shall have to ask for Evan’s help with that endeavor then. Thank you for the reminder.”
I could do it for you, Jeremy thought desperately. He didn’t want to just have to leave after everything. This was the most time he’d spent with Michael before, and the guy was just so chill about everything. But being in the same space as him, watching him interact with his brother and Gregory made him want to stay so much longer. Michael Afton was the most compassionate person Jeremy had ever met, and he wanted to be able to help the man who tried so hard to help everyone else.
It didn’t help that Jeremy was also hopelessly in love with him.
As Jeremy opened his mouth to speak, Henry returned with the changes of clothes. Michael turned his attention away from Jeremy to thank Henry and apologize for the water all over the floor, and Jeremy was left to awkwardly collect the pile of bloody clothes on the floor to offer them to Henry.
Henry stared at the rags for a moment, his face paling significantly. “These were Michael’s clothes?”
“Yes.” Michael was separating the clothes to split between himself and Jeremy, and he was hardly focused on Henry. “I could not find a way to safely remove my shirt without causing more pain, so Jeremy helped me cut it off. I am afraid blood does not come out of denim very easily, so my jeans are also a lost cause.”
Brightening, Michael put a bundle of clothing into Jeremy’s arms. “You can change in Charlie’s old room.”
“Why can’t you both change in here?” Henry asked, sounding confused.
Pressure built in Jeremy’s throat as he tried to answer that question. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of himself. Not by any measure at all. He just knew it was dangerous, what he was. People didn’t exactly approve of people like him, after all. Especially not here.
Michael gave Henry a scathing look as tears built up behind Jeremy’s eyes. “Maybe we don’t want to change in the same room.”
Henry blinked in surprise, but he glanced between the two boys for a moment before making his exit. Michael patted Jeremy’s shoulder. “I can go to Charlie’s room instead, if you would prefer to change in here.”
Jeremy still couldn’t speak, so he just nodded. The gentle way Michael nodded back at him filled his body with a strange warmth. A few moments later, Michael was gone, and Jeremy could finally change out of the sopping wet layers he’d been in this whole time.
Half-way through changing, Jeremy noticed that most of the clothes were baggy and easy to layer over each other. There were almost too many options. A jolt ran through him when he considered that Michael had sorted through the clothes. Either Michael was very particular, or he knew.
Hurriedly, Jeremy finished changing and practically ran to the bedroom where Michael said he’d be changing. He basically flung the door open to a startled Mike, who had jeans on but no shirt. “Is something wrong?” Michael asked.
His wings and hair fluffed up, like he’d been expecting a threat, but his expression was one of concern. Jeremy knew he was shaking, knew he wouldn’t be able to speak for a moment, but he stood there and just stared. Why did Michael have to be adorable in everything he did? The way his mouth curled into a frown made half of his mouth seem to vanish, like he was biting on it constantly distracted Jeremy from what he wanted to say.
He let his eyes wander over Michael’s bare torso as he tried to find the words to speak. The worst of his secrets was surely out already, and if Michael figured out his feelings, it would be less painful than him knowing the other secret.
Fascination over the jagged scar across Michael’s chest sprouted in his heart. Jeremy had seen it before, of course. He’d seen it in the bathroom, but he’d been trying not to stare before.
“Jeremy?” Michael looked worried now. “Are you alright?”
Maybe Michael didn’t know. Maybe he just hadn’t grabbed a shirt at all, since they had to be cut specifically for the wings anyway. Jeremy was probably just overreacting. And even if he wasn’t, it seemed that Michael wasn’t going to bring it up. “Uhmm. I just… wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Michael relaxed. “I’m quite alright, Jeremy. I’m not as weak as I was before. The shower certainly helped.”
“You’re um. You’re very fluffy right now.”
“Am I?” Michael ran a hand through his hair, feeling where it stuck up all over the place. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” Jeremy cleared his throat awkwardly. “Thanks for talking to Henry back there.”
“It was nothing.” Michael blinked at him, wings twitching. “Gregory did a good job cleaning up.” He gestured at the carpet and the bed.
The bed was made very neatly, corners tucked so much better than Jeremy could do on a good day. There were only faint hints that someone had been bleeding there, and they were only visible because Jeremy was looking for them. “Yeah. He certainly did.”
A fond smile crossed Michael’s face at that. “He’s so sweet.”
Jeremy didn’t really believe that, but he nodded anyway. He didn’t want Michael to stop smiling for anything. It was so much better than his frown in every possible way.
“We should… I um. I think we should probably head back to the living room,” Jeremy said awkwardly.
“Right, yes. I suppose it is almost time for you to head home too.” Michael blinked, like he was shaking himself out of a daydream. “Or maybe you could stay for supper?”
Jeremy smiled. “I would love that.”
Evan was awestruck when he saw his brother’s wings. “They’re so big!”
“Soft too,” Jeremy said, trying to encourage Evan’s excitement.
Gregory made a noise in the back of his throat before saying, “You would know, wouldn’t you?”
Jeremy stared at him, mouth opening and closing without words coming out.
“No softer than yours, I’m sure,” Michael said, trying to keep the peace. There wasn’t even a hint of a blush on his face at Gregory’s words. Were the jokes just going over his head? Maybe Jeremy was reading too much into it.
Shaking his head, Jeremy plopped down on the couch beside Gregory. “What happened to your face?” Gregory asked quietly.
“I wasn’t careful enough,” Jeremy answered, glancing at the two brothers as they talked about Michael’s new wings. “And Mike’s wings pack quite the punch.”
“Oh.” Gregory’s eyes widened with understanding. “That could’ve been bad.”
“You’re telling me, kid.” Jeremy shook his head, taking a sip from his can of Coke. “What were you and Evan up to today?”
“Videogames mostly,” Gregory replied. “Although everything here is so old.”
“Old?” Jeremy wrinkled his nose. “Nah, my parents are worse. You’re probably just picky. A bunch of this stuff is newer than anything my family could afford.”
“Your motorcycle is cool though.”
Jeremy smiled. “It is pretty cool.”
“Can you take me on it sometime?”
The smile faltered slightly. “Uh, I don’t know.”
“C’mon, please? All the stuff here is pretty boring, and I know Evan tries to be fun, but you can only play the same game for so long before it’s lame. And I don’t want to have to tell him it’s lame. It’s awful when he cries.”
Jeremy didn’t know what to make of that. “Maybe we could play a board game or something.”
“I wanna go on your bike sometime.” Gregory stuck out his chin stubbornly. “Or I’m going to tell Mike you have the biggest crush on him and-“
“Okay, okay! I get it. But you’ll have to wear a helmet,” Jeremy said, looking away and tugging at his shirt. “And long pants. Just in case.”
“Okay, Dad.” Gregory rolled his eyes.
“Well, you’re the one who said it’s awful when Evan cries,” Jeremy shot back. “And I’ve already seen how Mike cries, and I don’t want to see that again. No thanks.”
Gregory flinched at that. “I…”
“Not to frighten you, but it can be dangerous.” Jeremy sighed. “There’s only so much you can be safe. Not to quote my mom, but ‘I’d rather you be late than dead.’ It’s just that kind of thing.”
Seeing Gregory’s expression, he softened. “I’m a firm believer in the fact that both of us are going to get lectured by Michael when he finds out. So, when he tries, we’re going to tell him that I already told you all the risks and you still wanted to do it. Unless I’ve changed your mind.”
“No, haven’t changed my mind.” Gregory scooted closer to Jeremy. “I bet I’d survive a crash better than you.”
“No way,” Jeremy laughed. “With the way you’re built? No offense, but you’d be a splatter on the cement.”
“Rude.” Gregory scoffed. Not subtly at all, he tried to steal Jeremy’s Coke from his hand.
Amused, Jeremy let him. Gregory immediately started downing what was left in the can. At that moment, Michael glanced over and gasped. “Gregory! Is that Coke? Are you encouraging this, Jeremy?”
“He took the can out of my hand. I didn’t do anything,” Jeremy smiled cheekily. “Not my fault he’s so fast.”
“Mmmmm,” Gregory squinted skeptically at the can. “This is Coke?”
“Yeah?” Jeremy looked confused. “Why? Does it taste weird to you or something?”
“It’s better than I remember.”
Michael sighed, removing the can from Gregory’s hands. “That is because Coca-Cola has different flavoring in it than you remember.”
“Are you talking about the whole cocaine in Coke thing? Because I thought that was a myth.”
Michael shot Jeremy an exasperated look. “That is not what I am talking about. Anyway, Gregory does not need caffeine in his system at this time of day. He won’t get any sleep at this rate.”
“Whoops?” Jeremy held his hands up in surrender. “Look I-“
“It does not matter.” Michael shot Gregory a meaningful look. “So long as he doesn’t keep Evan up with his extra energy, it should be fine.”
Evan peered at them all from behind the sofa. “How did he even take it from you? I thought you kept a tight grip on those at all times.”
“Caught me by surprise?” Jeremy shifted his weight as Michael gave him a skeptical look. “He’s faster than he looks, I swear.”
Evan snorted, climbing over the back of the sofa, much to Michael’s despair as he said, “Well, that gives him a one-up in physical games I guess.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I totally crush at Fazblock!” Gregory crossed his arms. “I had more blocks than you did.”
“Gregory, you’re supposed to get rid of the blocks, not keep them on the screen.” Evan shook his head despairingly. “I would’ve explained the rules if you’d asked-“
“It was different than what I’m used to, okay?” Gregory rolled his eyes. “I could totally beat you at Fazzy Kart.”
“I don’t even know what that is,” Evan replied. “I still think you made it up.”
“Did not.”
“Did too.”
“Did not.”
“Did too!”
“Okay, that is enough.” Michael shook his head, smiling faintly. “Gregory did not make it up. Fazzy Kart just has not come out yet.” He ruffled Evan’s hair before walking away with the empty Coke can. “And I have something for you two to do when I get back!”
“A task?” Gregory asked.
“A task.” Evan snorted. “Ah yes, my brother typically assigns me tasks. No, Gregory. He’s sending us to do chores or something. Usually he’s more mean about it though.”
“No one understands my jokes.” Gregory’s wing twitched irritably.
“Doesn’t matter,” Jeremy replied. “He still laughed, even if he didn’t get it. Be nonsensical! Nobody cares as long as you’re funny.”
“That’s a terrible line of logic. I refuse to believe that people willingly follow your example,” Michael said, returning with a sheet of paper. “Evan, Gregory, I am trusting you two to find everything on this list and bring it back here.”
“We don’t have money,” Gregory said, but he still took the list from Michael’s hands. “And aren’t we supposed to stay inside until we figure out what to do about our wings? And wait, is it safe to-“
“You worry too much, Gregory. We can just ask Uncle Henry for help.” Evan peered at the grocery list. “What are you making, Mikey? This looks like spaghetti sauce, but you don’t use half this stuff normally.”
“Wait and see,” Michael said cryptically. His own wings twitched as he spoke, even seeming a tiny bit ruffled.
“With the overabundance of clothes Henry seems to have, maybe he has jackets you can just throw on over the wings or something,” Jeremy said, slowly rising from the couch as Gregory and Evan stood to examine the list closer.
“We can handle this,” Evan said with full confidence. “And we’ll try to be fast so you can get started sooner.”
“Thank you, Evan.” There was a deeper tone of relief in Michael’s voice at that. “My heroes.”
Jeremy smiled wearily at them all. “I should probably get going.” It felt like intruding to stay this long. Sure, they all tried to include him, but Michael probably had other things he planned to do while Evan and Gregory were gone. Perhaps he needed to talk to his uncle more or something. Regardless, Jeremy had overstayed his welcome.
“I thought you said you could stay for supper.” Michael sounded wounded. “Are you feeling alright? Do you need to lie down?”
He pressed his hand against Jeremy’s forehead. “You don’t seem to have a fever.”
“I’m fine, Michael. I just don’t want to overstay my welcome, you know?” Jeremy ducked away from Michael’s hand and kept his gaze on the carpet. “Especially if you’re all going to be busy.”
“I won’t be busy until they get back,” Michael replied as Gregory tugged on Evan’s shirt to lead him away. “And even then, I won’t be too busy to talk. You can sit with me in the kitchen while I cook.”
“Yeah but…” Jeremy hesitated, combing a hand through his hair. “Look, I just don’t want to be in the way.”
“You won’t be,” Michael insisted. He sat down on the sofa where Gregory had been sitting before. Patting the cushion next to him, he waited for Jeremy to sit back down.
When Jeremy sat down, Michael gestured for him to scoot closer. “What are you doing?” Jeremy asked nervously.
“Your hair is a mess,” Michael replied. “I’m going to fix it for you.”
“What do you mean?” Jeremy frowned, patting his hair self-consciously.
“It’s all tangled. That’s going to be a nightmare to brush out tomorrow if you don’t take care of it tonight.”
“Oh.” Jeremy looked away. “It shouldn’t be your responsibility-“
“My wings shouldn’t have been yours,” Michael countered. “Let me do a nice thing for you. Please.”
“I helped with your wings because I wanted to spend time with you. Not because it was a burden, Mike.”
“This isn’t a burden to me either. Let me help. Maybe I want to spend more time with you too.”
Jeremy didn’t have a counter to that, so he reluctantly sighed. “Just… be gentle on it, okay?”
“Of course.” He blinked, seemingly surprised that Jeremy gave in so easily. “I do need to go grab a brush and a comb.”
“Naturally.” Jeremy shifted uncomfortably on the sofa as Michael got up.
What was he even supposed to say to Michael? He hadn’t expected to get this far, and now faced with the opportunity to have a casual conversation with him, Jeremy panicked.
When Michael got back, the hair brush he carried had long strands of dark brown hair in it, and both the brush and the comb were shining with water. “I hope you don’t mind,” Michael said awkwardly. “But I know that hair gets really, really tangled, so I just wanted to make sure I could get the tangles out without hurting you.”
Oh. That was… surprisingly considerate. “And the water is supposed to fix tangles?”
“Better than a dry brush.”
Jeremy just stared. The most he’d been able to do with his hair was to throw it into the world’s worst ponytail when he needed it out of his face. All this talk of the more effective way to brush through his hair without making it hurt stirred something in his chest. There was nothing Michael would do that could possibly hurt more than the way he was currently doing his hair.
Michael sat back down and got to work. It was strange. Jeremy hadn’t had anyone brush his hair in a long time. His mother had been too busy with work to even notice that he needed help with his hair. Or anything really.
“You have really thick hair,” Michael mused softly.
“Yeah. Makes it a real pain sometimes,” Jeremy replied.
Michael was so gentle with it, apologizing softly when the brush scraped his ear or a snag was too rough. Eventually, though, he set the brush aside and started dividing his hair.
“What are you doing?”
“Helping you with your hair,” Michael replied as he started braiding it. “I assume you don’t have a hair brush for yourself, or maybe you just don’t have much time to do your hair every day. But at the very least, braiding it back at night prevents most tangles from getting worse.”
“How do you know so much about this stuff, dude?” Jeremy wondered. “Like, you know more about this than I do.”
“I…” Michael hesitated. “Evan’s not my only sibling. I had a sister. Elizabeth. Her hair was more of a nightmare than this.”
“Oh.” Jeremy fidgeted. He didn’t know what to do with that information.
“And, there!” Michael twisted a ponytail into the end of Jeremy’s hair. “Less problems for later, see?”
“Yeah.” Jeremy touched a hand to the braid, smiling softly. “Thanks, man.”
“It’s nothing.”
“But I say it is something. Come here, Mike.”
Michael’s wings fluffed up ever so slightly, but he did as Jeremy asked, unprepared for the tackle-hug Jeremy gave him. He gasped in alarm as they ended up on the floor, but when he looked up at Jeremy, it was with what Jeremy could only describe as adoration. Then he was suddenly pressed completely up against Michael as his wings wrapped around them both.
Of course, that was also the moment Evan and Gregory came back from their shopping trip with the supplies Michael had asked for. Letting Jeremy up, Michael immediately accepted the groceries from Evan and went straight to the kitchen. Gregory and Evan were left staring at Jeremy, who was sitting with a ridiculous grin on his face.
“Might need some help preparing this!” Michael called.
Before any of them could move toward the door, however, Henry walked by to go help Michael. Which left Jeremy to get teased by the two younger boys.
“What was that about?” Evan asked, picking a long blue feather out of Jeremy’s hair.
“What were you doing on the floor?” Gregory asked.
“Mike did my hair,” Jeremy replied, gesturing at the hairbrush that now had long strands of gold intertwined with the brown.
Evan looked thoughtful as he fiddled with the feather. “I didn’t know Mikey knew how to do hair.”
“Didn’t you tell me you had a sister?” Gregory asked, picking a smaller, brown feather from Jeremy’s shirt. “He could’ve done her hair once or twice.”
“Maybe…” Evan didn’t sound very sure. “Mikey wasn’t… I don’t know. Maybe he did. I never knew, though.”
“He did mention it when I asked…” Jeremy said, suddenly embarrassed to know more than Evan.
Evan fiddled with the feather more. “He seems to like you a lot.”
“Mike?” Jeremy asked, even more embarrassed now.
“Yeah. He smiles when he talks to you.”
“Except that one day,” Gregory interrupted. “He came inside and cried.”
“That was something else, I think,” Evan responded. “I think the Nightmares finally got to him.”
“So I take it Mike doesn’t usually talk about his issues then?”
“Not usually.” Evan squirmed, his wings puffing up. “Can we talk about something else?”
“Yeah sure,” Jeremy shook his head and finally got off the floor. “Do you want to try playing Kings in the Corner again?”
“Ugh, that’s so boring,” Gregory replied, but Evan was already rushing off to get the cards.
“I need a second. I’ll be right back,” Jeremy said, slipping into the kitchen to grab another can of Coke.
Michael glanced over from where he was cutting an onion and just sighed. “Jeremy-“
“I know, I know. It’s bad for me or whatever. But I need it, okay?” Jeremy took a long swig from the can. “Better than some habits.”
“Still…”
“It’s fine dude. Cut your onion or whatever.”
Henry said something that Jeremy didn’t catch as he rushed back to the living room. “Okay, are we ready to start?”
“This game is stupid,” Gregory grumbled. He was holding his seven cards, and Evan had already laid out the board.
“I dealt, so Gregory goes first,” Evan replied, ignoring Gregory’s comment.
“Lucky,” Jeremy said, eyeing the board.
“I don’t even know how to play,” Gregory complained. “This game is for old people.”
“I guess we’re old then.” Jeremy’s eyes twinkled. “You have to play a card from your hand onto one of those four cards.” He pointed at the two of diamonds, the king of spades, the four of diamonds, and the seven of diamonds respectively. “You want it to be a lower rank, or less points than the card on the stack. And it’s gotta be the opposite color.”
“Oh.” Gregory stared at his hand for a moment.
“You gotta tell him about the kings, Jeremy.” Evan shook his head. “If there’s a king, you can move it into the spaces between the four other cards, and put a new foundation card down.”
“Huh.” Gregory frowned. “This is too confusing.”
“It really isn’t,” Jeremy laughed, taking another sip from his Coke. “If you really want, you can add your cards back to the foundation pile and watch me and Evan play a game.”
“I’m just going to do that.” Gregory stuck his cards back in the bigger stack.
“Suits don’t matter,” Evan said helpfully. “Only color does.”
Jeremy set off to move the king, and the game begun. Evan went out on his first turn.
“Okay, that was a bad example,” Evan said with a grin.
“You didn’t shuffle very well,” Jeremy said accusingly. “That was- arghhh. We’re playing another game so Gregory can actually see how the game works.”
“Are we doing points?” Evan said innocently.
“We will once Gregory joins in,” Jeremy replied, collecting the cards from the board. “These are warm-up rounds.”
“Riiiiight,” Gregory replied with an amused snort. “You just got destroyed.”
“Thank you for the obvious and accurate commentary, Gregory.” Jeremy rolled his eyes.
When he flipped the four cards over, three of them were kings. Jeremy let out an indignant noise as Gregory burst out laughing and Evan grinned at the board. Just like that, he was down to one card. Jeremy scowled at his own cards as it became his turn.
“All four kings on the board in the first turn,” he grumbled.
“Now who’s bad at shuffling?” Evan replied, watching Jeremy’s hand drop to three cards.
“Oh, shut up.”
Evan snickered as it became his turn. “I almost wonder if you were trying to let me win.” He took the ace of diamonds and placed it on the two of clubs that Jeremy had missed during his turn. “Do you have the hang of it yet, Gregory? We may need a third player or this are going to be some very quick games.”
“Ha ha.” Jeremy said as Evan gathered up the cards again. “I’m just used to people who aren’t paying attention nearly as much as you do.”
“I’m just playing the game,” Evan said with a cheeky grin. “You had a six of spades in your hand? You could’ve played that on the seven-“
“I don’t want to hear it!” Jeremy sighed, exaggerating his grief as he drank from his can. “You have eyes like a hawk.”
Evan just hummed at that, his eyes twinkling as he shuffled the cards again. “What do you say, Gregory? Want to try and give it another shot?”
“Sure. Can’t be any worse than Jeremy, right?”
“Alright, I get it.” Jeremy shook his head. “I guess this game isn’t as awful as you want to claim it is, huh?”
“We’ll see.”
Evan pulled out a baggy filled with little red chips and shook it for a moment. “I didn’t have a chance to grab paper, so we can just play with chips, right?”
“Let’s give Gregory one trial run first,” Jeremy said as Gregory stared blankly at the chip bag. “Let him get a feel for the game.”
Gregory’s first round went okay. He managed to play half his cards in the first go, but he failed to notice that he could’ve moved the king to the corner right away, and Jeremy took advantage of that. Humming to himself, Jeremy quickly went through his turn and waited for Evan.
“That is absurd,” Gregory said, watching Evan put down cards and move piles around rapidly. “There’s no way you’re not cheating.”
“It’s all natural, Gregory,” Evan said cheerfully. “You’re just mad because I’m better at games than you are.”
“Grrrrrr….” Gregory scowled as Evan tapped his own card against the table. He put down his one card and waited for Jeremy to go.
Adding another person really did slow down the game a lot, Jeremy thought to himself. This was the first round someone had actually had to draw a card. Evan hummed, but he also needed to draw a card. Unlike Jeremy, however, Evan couldn’t play his. Finally, the game was even again.
Gregory scowled at his cards. “What do I do if I can’t play?”
“Draw,” Jeremy said. “We’ve both done it.”
Grumbling, Gregory drew a card. He brightened as he realized he could play it, and then it was Jeremy’s turn. Jeremy sighed in relief as he was able to play a card on Gregory’s queen, and then move a ten on top of that. Moment of truth, he thought to himself as Evan studied his hand. Michael’s brother shook his head and drew another card. And promptly played it.
Gregory and Jeremy both groaned at that. “See, but now things get interesting,” Evan said cheerfully. “We’ve all been drawing cards and actually have to pay attention to the board.”
“Don’t you always have to pay attention to the board?” Gregory asked as he drew another card. “Ugh.”
“Depends on how close,” Jeremy said smugly, laying down his one card. “I win this round.”
Evan sighed wearily, but he said nothing as Jeremy collected the cards to shove them at Gregory. “Your turn to shuffle.”
Gregory pushed the cards back at Jeremy. “I don’t know how.”
“I guess I can do it for you. But you’re still dealing, alright? Seven cards to each of us.”
Gregory nodded as Jeremy shuffled, and Evan quickly explained how chips worked. Everyone put one chip in at the beginning. Then, when you drew a card, you’d put another chip in. Each card at the end of the game still in your hand was another chip, except for kings. Kings were ten chips.
They all put one chip in the middle as Gregory passed out cards.
“Ready for your first real round, Gregory?” Jeremy asked, looking over his cards.
Gregory huffed, but he nodded anyway. “This is still dumb.”
“What if we made it a bit more fun?” Evan asked. “I’ll put in this feather.” He held up the blue feather he’d picked out of Jeremy’s hair.
“We’re playing for feathers?” Gregory asked. “But we both have feathers.”
“Not just any feathers. Michael’s feathers. I know him better than you do, trust me. He wouldn’t just give those away.”
Gregory considered it for a moment as Jeremy bit his lip. It seemed plenty easy to get feathers in his opinion. Michael shed two of them while Jeremy hugged him before. “Deal. I’ll put in this one.”
Gregory set the brown feather on top of the three chips. Evan did the same with the blue feather. Both of them glanced at Jeremy expectantly.
“I don’t have any. You both took those from me in the first place.” Jeremy rolled his eyes. The feathers were cool, though.
He kind of wished he had some of his own, maybe to braid through his hair or something. But that required winning this game. And since Evan was really good at Kings in the Corner, and also used all the chips in the box, it was really unlikely that he’d win them at the end.
“How about…” Jeremy put twenty more chips in the pot. “I know it doesn’t balance out at all, but you two seem to really want those feathers.”
Evan grinned, and so, the game began.
Gregory surprised them all by nearly going out in his first turn, but Evan still won the first game. They played in relative silence, too busy concentrating to hold a proper conversation. Evan crushed them in the first few rounds, but Gregory eventually got a win when Evan had 6 cards in his hand, resulting in a somewhat decent counter-balance.
It did nothing for Jeremy though. He looked nervously at his dwindling pile of chips every time the game ended and knew it was very unlikely that he’d win. It wasn’t impossible, sure, but it was incredibly unlikely.
“This is eight, Gregory,” Evan said absently, after Jeremy had already played his first turn. “We can play it, but you should pay better attention.”
Jeremy bit his lip at that. He was losing really bad. He really needed a win, and he needed one where the other two were struggling. Accidentally starting a round on eight cards was not a great way to start that.
“How did you even notice that?” Gregory asked.
“Eight feels thicker than seven.”
“How much do you play cards? Jeez,” Jeremy asked as it became Gregory’s turn.
“Enough,” Evan said with an amused smile. “I usually play alone.”
“This doesn’t feel like a game you can play alone,” Gregory muttered.
“You can. It’s just not as fun. But I don’t play this,” Evan said as Jeremy had to draw yet again. “I play Solitare.”
“Right, silly me.” Gregory shook his head. “Dude, how are you losing the game you suggested?”
“It takes a lot of luck, Gregory.” Jeremy sighed, having emptied his can of Coke long ago. “I’ve already accepted my fate. Now it’s just a matter of wondering who wins overall.”
They all fell quiet again as they settled back into their concentration. A few tense rounds went by as they all drew cards. When Evan finally played a card, Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he’d last another round.
Or… maybe not. It was a close thing, that balance between drawing and playing. “Are we going to go through the whole deck?” Gregory eventually wondered.
“Maybe,” Jeremy replied wearily.
The pot was massive at this point. Evan’s brow was continuously furrowed, and even his wings were stiff with concentration. There’s no strategy that trumps the good cards being at the bottom of the deck, Jeremy thought to himself with grim amusement.
“Ha!” Gregory shouted his delight as he finally laid his last card.
Jeremy sighed sorrowfully as he glanced at his four chips. He would only have two left for another game after this. If only it had been Jeremy who’d drawn the card to end the game.
“I don’t even remember who shuffled that one,” Jeremy said as Gregory gathered the pot.
“It was Gregory. He started us with eight cards,” Evan replied. “You shuffle next.”
“I’m not going to make it through this game,” Jeremy muttered.
“Then we’ll just play it out, and you can be done after,” Evan shrugged. “Who knows, maybe you’ll win?”
“For every draw you have that you can’t play, I’ll put in a chip,” Gregory offered as Jeremy put his last chip in the pot. “It’ll keep things fair.”
“I’m sure,” Jeremy muttered.
“Awww, you are a grumpy old man. Evan look! He’s so grumpy.”
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”
Evan put his last card down, and Jeremy shook his head. “I’m out. Good luck, Gregory.”
He wondered what Michael and Henry were up to in the kitchen. It had been two hours of this, after all. Surely preparing a meal wouldn’t take that long, especially since Evan implied Michael was making spaghetti.
“Okay, I gotta know. What spaghetti takes three hours to make?” Jeremy said, sitting down at the kitchen table with Henry.
“It’s not the spaghetti that takes so long,” Michael replied from the stove. “It’s the sauce.”
“But why?”
“The flavor has to soak in from the leaves.” Michael shrugged, moving to sit down with them. “What were you playing in there?”
“Cards.” Jeremy shrugged. “Gregory said it was for old people.”
“Then he must have never played cards before,” Henry commented.
“Maybe it’s his age,” Michael suggested.
“Nah. Your brother got really into it. He’s been beating both of us.”
“THAT’S SO STUPID!!!” Gregory shouted from the other room.
Evan laughed and said something in response, as they all glanced toward the hallway.
“No way,” Gregory said, his voice still projecting from the other room. “That’s so stupid!”
“I think the sauce is about done,” Michael said, rising from his seat again. “I should probably begin on the actual spaghetti.”
“I appreciate you deciding to cook for us, Michael,” Henry said. “And not that I’m complaining about your food, but this seems more complicated than some of the other stuff you’ve made.”
Michael just blinked at him, filling a pot with water. “It’s just spaghetti.”
Gregory and Evan walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. “It smells great in here,” Evan said.
Michael glanced at his brother and at Gregory for a moment. “Who won?”
“Evan,” Gregory grumbled crossing his arms. “But he cheats.”
“I do not! Withholding cards on my turn is within the rules of the game. Just because it means you have to draw more doesn’t mean it’s cheating!” Evan argued.
“He’s right, Gregory. If he’s withholding cards, it’s still a risk to him since you can easily draw a card at any moment and win the game yourself. There’s a reason it’s ten chips if you’re holding a king at the end of the game.”
“Hmph,” Gregory scowled.
“Jeremy, do you need a new bandage for your face?” Henry asked as Gregory and Evan glared at each other from across the table.
“What? Oh, I’m sure it’s fine.” Jeremy hadn’t realized that the edge of his bandage was peeling off.
“We’ll get that taken care of later,” Henry said. “Were you planning on staying over tonight?”
“I…” Jeremy glanced around the room. “I don’t know.”
“If you decide to stay, let me know so I can tell your parents,” Henry replied, seemingly satisfied. “And would you like another can of Coca-Cola?”
“Yes please.”
“Don’t encourage his addiction, Henry.” Michael crossed his arms as he leaned against the counter.
Jeremy responded by sticking his tongue out at Michael. Michael shook his head and rolled his eyes, but Jeremy saw a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Can I have one too?” Gregory asked.
“Absolutely not,” Michael replied. His wings twitched slightly. “You’re done with caffeine for the rest of the night. If you’re this loud after half a can, I shudder to think of what would happen if you got a full can of Coke.”
“You’re not my mom,” Gregory grumbled.
Jeremy’s mouth twitched. “He tries to act like it though, doesn’t he?”
Michael made an indignant noise as Gregory burst out laughing. Evan giggled too, adding, “Mama bird Mike.”
All three of them broke into bad laughing fits at that one. Henry and Michael just exchanged an exasperated look as Michael stirred the spaghetti. “I can act like it if you really want me to,” Michael eventually said. “But I don’t think you’d like the response, seeing as you two are baby birds in this analogy.”
“What do you mean?” Gregory asked, bewildered.
“I think what he’s getting at,” Jeremy said, amusement glinting in his eye, “is that mother birds regurgitate food into their chicks mouths.”
“Ewwwww,” Gregory gagged.
Evan snorted. “Mikey wouldn’t do that.”
“Wouldn’t I?” Michael raised an eyebrow. “I’ve certainly done worse.”
Evan froze at that. He seemed to be considering Michael’s point. “He totally would…” Evan sounded horrified.
“And with that terrible mental image, it seems that the spaghetti is done!” Henry said, putting a can of Coke in front of Jeremy before going to fetch everyone plates.
“I just need to strain the noodles, and we’re all set,” Michael said. “Could you grab the strainer please?”
Henry nodded and retrieved the strainer. Evan hummed to himself as he fiddled with the two feathers he’d won in the card game. Gregory said nothing, but Jeremy could tell it he was still bitter from his loss. Surely Michael wouldn’t be unwilling to give up feathers if they asked, Jeremy thought to himself. Maybe he’d be uncomfortable with the idea, but if Gregory said how much he really wanted them, Jeremy was sure Michael would give in eventually.
“It’s going to be hot.” Michael warned, carrying the pot of spaghetti to the table.
Henry quickly placed a potholder beneath it, and Michael went back to retrieve the sauce for the spaghetti. “Do you want to get cups out, Evan?”
Evan nodded and got up from his spot. “Gregory, you can get the plates.”
The whole group cycled around the kitchen like a little family, and Jeremy felt a little self-conscious about his place in everything, so he went and grabbed forks for everyone. It was the least he could do.
Michael dished out the food, putting just enough sauce on their spaghetti that they could avoid it if they wanted to. All of them were a little skeptical of the meal, but they all trusted that Michael knew what he was doing. Gregory and Evan both seemed startled by the taste, but Henry simply raised an eyebrow as he took a bite. Michael didn’t seem particularly concerned about their reaction, though.
He was too busy observing Jeremy when he tried it.
It was… spicier than he expected. Jeremy glanced at Michael, suddenly suspicious of him. Michael blinked at him, casually taking a bite of his own spaghetti. Jeremy glanced at him again before moving his plate to the saucepan full of spaghetti sauce and adding more to his plate.
Michael’s slow smile made Jeremy feel even more confident about his decision. Somehow, Michael had figured him out yet again, almost without effort. Jeremy stuck another forkful in his mouth and smiled back at him.
“Gregory, slow down. You’re going to make yourself sick,” Evan said.
“It’f, fine.” Gregory swallowed hard.
“Careful you don’t choke,” Henry said warningly.
Gregory set his fork down quietly, his eyes watering. He coughed a little bit, causing Michael to turn to him with concern. “Gregory? Are you alright?”
Gregory fanned himself, and Jeremy immediately figured out what was going on. “Too spicy for you? You barely had any!” He shook his head and poured Gregory a glass of milk. “Drink this. It’ll help.”
Gregory eagerly took the glass, draining it in less than a minute. “Mmmmm.”
The rest of the meal went in relative silence, with Evan and Henry occasionally teasing Gregory for eating too fast and being unable to handle spicy food. Michael seemed oblivious to the main conversation, smiling softly to himself.
Jeremy knew he was staring, but he figured it wouldn’t be the biggest deal. Plenty of people stared at their friends, right? At the way they twisted spaghetti noodles onto their forks and brought their forks to their mouths. At the way their eyes glowed with joy at making something new successfully.
Michael caught his eye, and the smile widened. Jeremy felt himself smiling back easily. He’d already finished his food, and Evan and Gregory had finished half the spaghetti by themselves. There wouldn’t be many leftovers anyway.
Henry was the first to move from the table. He collected plates from everyone to take to the sink. When Michael moved to help, Henry waved him off, insisting that since Michael made the meal, he shouldn’t have to clean it up, with a meaningful look toward Evan and Gregory. He stopped Jeremy when he tried to get up too, insisting that guests shouldn’t need to help.
“But I thought we were guests,” Gregory grumbled when Evan tapped his arm to help him get up.
“Jeremy, that bandage really does need to be changed before you go,” Henry said quietly, gathering the leftovers into different containers.
“I can help him with it,” Michael said.
“Michael, you’ve done enough today. Especially with how you were feeling this morning-“
“I can help,” Michael interjected stubbornly.
Jeremy raised a confused eyebrow at the way Michael’s wings and hair ruffled.
“You need rest,” Henry said in a tone that brokered no argument.
Still, Michael persisted, the feathers now completely refusing to lay flat. Jeremy wondered how this could possibly be something he’d need to be so defensive about. “Hey, maybe Henry’s right. You have done a lot today.”
Michael scowled at that, and he grabbed Jeremy’s arm and practically dragged him out of his chair.
“What- Hey!” Jeremy stumbled into Micheal, expecting him to apologize or something.
“There’s the old Mike,” Evan mumbled quietly.
Michael’s face was right in front of Jeremy’s as he spoke. “I know my limits.”
“Do you?” Gregory challenged. He didn’t seem frightened in the slightest, which was very different from the atmosphere surrounding Michael at that moment. “To me it seems like you keep going until you drop. Maybe you should just get rid of that chip on your shoulder and let someone else handle it for once!”
“Like you did?” Michael snapped, and at that, Gregory actually flinched. “Sometimes, you can’t trust that help will come, Gregory. You should know that better than anyone.”
Gregory’s grip on the plate in his hands tightened. “Yeah, well, I didn’t have a family who took care of me like you do! So just suck it up.” Jeremy heard tears behind those words, and Evan mumbled something gently to him and tried to get him to turn his back on Michael.
That seemed to break something in Michael’s resilience. His wings twitched, and he let go of Jeremy’s shirt. “Right. Sorry.” He sounded just as torn as Gregory. “I…”
Jeremy figured nothing would be helped by Michael sticking around in the kitchen, so he tentatively put a hand to Michael’s shoulder. “Hey, you can help with my bandage. Maybe just tell me how to put it on so I do it right tomorrow morning, yeah?”
“So you aren’t staying then?” Henry asked, looking worriedly between the four boys.
Michael’s ashen expression was not particularly reassuring. “No, I mean. If it’s okay for me to stay, I plan to. I just… Maybe it should be my responsibility to fix that?” Jeremy gestured at the scratch on his face. “Seems like all I’m doing here is making more messes anyway. Might as well try to clean one up myself, right?”
Henry frowned but he said nothing.
Jeremy leaned close to Michael’s ear. “Come on then.”
“I didn’t mean to… I hurt his feelings,” Michael mumbled as he mechanically peeled the rest of the bandage away from Jeremy’s face to wipe at the scratch with a wet cloth.
“Energy was running high. Maybe you are a bit more overwhelmed then you thought? Frayed nerves break way for anger sometimes. Or so I’ve heard.”
“I still shouldn’t have done that.” Michael couldn’t even look Jeremy in the eye. He was too distraught.
“Why did you get so defensive, if you don’t mind me asking? And I’m not just talking about Gregory. You were adamant about helping me with my bandage.”
“I just…” Michael hesitated. “I haven’t had a chance to see you in days, and I wanted to get every moment I could?”
“An afternoon together wasn’t enough?” Jeremy teased, even though he knew exactly how Michael was feeling. “Look, that’s okay, Mike. But you gotta take care of yourself too.”
“Yeah, but-“
“What do you want? I know you think you have to help everybody all the time, but you’ve gotta have desires too, right?”
“Maybe I don’t deserve to have my desires realized,” Michael replied. He still wasn’t looking at Jeremy. “Maybe I’m just a rotten person who doesn’t deserve joy or anything that doesn’t directly benefit anybody else.”
“Michael Afton.” Jeremy said, trying to sound stern. “You are a human being just like everyone else. We all make mistakes. And you sound like you’re trying to atone for yours. I don’t know about you, but someone who tries to learn from their mistakes sounds like someone who deserves to have what they want every now and again.”
Michael completely froze at that. When he met Jeremy’s eyes, he looked utterly shattered. “I…” He swallowed. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“That’s okay, Mike. No one is asking you to do everything-“
“No, you don’t understand.” His voice was hardly a whisper. “I’ve… That scolding… You’ve said that to me before.”
“I have?”
Michael nodded mutely. “It was right before…” His wings stretched their full length as Michael squeezed his eyes shut. “I can’t.”
“What can’t you do, Michael?” Jeremy asked softly.
A pained noise rumbled in Michael’s throat, and he dropped the cloth, yanking Jeremy forward by his shirt. Their mouths crashed together, and all Jeremy could think was finally. His own hands went behind Michael’s shoulders, and he gently guided the wings back into a folded position before stroking them gently.
He didn’t want to stop kissing Michael. It was freeing and exhilarating at the same time. Michael tasted like bubble gum and smelled like clean laundry. He was the weirdest man Jeremy had ever met, but maybe that was what made him so alluring. Or maybe it was something else. Something about all this just seemed so… right.
When Michael broke away, Jeremy tried to follow. Michael looked at him fondly and laughed. “I thought you said I needed to take care of myself.”
“I can’t be that addicting,” Jeremy said impulsively.
Michael snorted. “I need air, Jeremy. We were both going to pass out if we kept that up.”
“Can we do it again?” Jeremy didn’t care about air. He just wanted to be close to Michael, wanted to make him smile, wanted to make him laugh.
Michael laughed again, a brilliant sound, before Jeremy pressed their lips back together. It was completely perfect.
#cloud#fnaf#mild body horror#winged Gregory AU#first of all tumblr broke when i read thru this which was hilarious xD#AND YEAH I COUKDNT SLEEP WITHOUT READING IT AT LEAST ONCE#this honestly made my week go by so fast :v in a good way >> every time you sent the little pieces of it =w=#it’s so dang good ✨✨✨✨💖 there’s so much to love about it and hopefully tumblr let’s me go apeshit crazy in the tags pls pls pls#so first of all idk why but the moment you described the hairbrush having both Jeremy’s and mike’s hair mixed together it was ? idk why tha#just was so sweet like… idk man ? idk what that means it just feels deep and meaningful and I love it#uhhh Jeremy’s cocacola addiction xD and Gregory taking advantage of it gghghhh#Evan being good at games is also the best let him win always and forever please#the pasta also sounded so good =w= can’t even blame Gregory sometimes spice can’t stop you even when your body is screaming and on fire if#the food is too dang good >> may he rest in pieces 😔#ah dude now I see what you meant for that whole confrontation thing Michael really hurt him :c#he didn’t mean to imply that and he probably forgot about his situation but come onnnnn#he better go back and apologize or I’ll kick his ass personally >> I’ll kick it anyway how DARE you make your one and only son cry >:v#-w- he got his kiss but god at what cost#HGHGHGH#that’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine y’know what they’ll all have a sleep over they’ll get to talk and they will work thru this and ge#0 sleep because they’ll play more card games right after until 5 am … 6 am .#actually also loved that you hinted at Jeremy’s insecurities without having to explain too much about it the poor guy is having a hard time#specially in the 80’s hhh but it’s ok Jeremy you get cocacola and happy times 🥺 and awkward little kids interactions xD children are scary#Henry needs a break AGAHVSHS I JUST REALIZED WILLIAM JUST PROBABLY NOPED OUT OR DOESNT RVEN KNOW WHATS HAPPENING LMAOOOOO he’s too busy ig#doing his evil peepaw things and okay yeah fair just don’t be surprised when everyone in your fam is suddenly like supernatural#wing massage sounds kinda stressful I would be terrified to break a bone by accident then again?? how strong are these ones ?#maybe they’re not built like bird wings :0c well they are dangerous apparently >> which :> heck yeah 🫶#actually scratch what I said earlier they stay up all night because Michael can’t sleep with the wings twilight sparkle style 💀 no control#ughghgh still feeling sad for the little gremlin boy being hurt like that#oh woops reached the dang tag limit … take me to jail boys 😔 I loved this sm 💖
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JJK.2—
synopsis: just some very nsfw hc’s for the men of jjk >:3
tags: 18(+) only!, MDNI, nsfw, highly suggestive content, dirty talk, mention of kinks, fem!reader, nanami kento, choso kamo, geto suguru, gojo satoru, toji fushiguro
𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 !!
pussy eater!!!
definitely the type to only think about pleasuring you
will eat you out for houuuuurs
ride his face, he begs for it
is sooo into roleplay (loves to rp a professor and college student of AGE!!!)
worships you
will make you cum at least a few times before he ever does
but i totally imagine him being a service (soft) top until he goes into “overtime” and then he’s a dom
dom nanami loves pulling your hair
calls you a brat/toy when you beg him for it
will stuff his tie in your mouth to keep you quiet
surprisingly is into public or open spaces
loves the thrill of fucking you outside cause he knows you struggle to hold your voice back
breeding kink go brrr
is all about praising and making sure you know you’re doing a good job
“fuck you’re taking me so well.” “good girl.” “look at how pretty you look fucking yourself on my cock.”
he’s really thick, has an upwards curve, 7” long
𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨 !!
is a virgin until he meets you
doesn’t stop him from trying everything you suggest because he wants to please you
loves loves loves blowjobs
cums very easily though
a hot make out session mixed with some heavy grinding and/or groping and he could easily cum in his pants
is a bottom for the first few years you’re together before he becomes a switch!
easily begs you for everything
“please please please” AAAAAH
when he tops, he’s softer than most would assume
constantly checks up on you to make sure you’re ok as he fucks you senseless
“is this good?” he asks as he has you cumming for the 3rd time
takes a little pride in his accuracy to make you reach your climax especially since he’s not use to sex
once he discovers rope/bondage he reallyyyy enjoys it
loves biting! likes to see the marks he’s made on you the next day
has a thicker head, red, and is 6.5”
𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐨 !!
dom dom dom dom
of course knows your limits and is very encouraging about using your safe-word when things get to be too much
is sooooo into controlling your vibrator when out in public cause he loves watching your reactions as you try your best not to make a face
expect to be spanked later if you cum before he tells you too
switches between praising you and degrading you
“you’re such a good girl” to “pathetic, you can’t even take me all”
loves forcing you to deep throat him when he ties your hands up
edging KING! like edges you for hours by fingering you while you suck him off
will only fuck you after you’ve been really good and when he does oh god
he’s rough, fast, hitting your deepest spots after your body has become a sensitive mess after all the edging
AFTERCAAAAAARE!!!!! he only ever is rough solely so he can take care of you after all of it
bathes you, massages your entire body, makes you food, brings you plenty of water !!
he’s a little on a thin side, veiny, and 8”
𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 !!
a switch idc!!
he’s all tough on the outside but some days he just wants to give you all the control
let’s you fuck him!!!
a horny mess omg wants to fuck all the time! only bc he just loves having sex with you
does it anywhere and everywhere
really likes to fuck in the car or on top of tables/desks/counters
has the biggest creampie kink
probably eats you out after he’s finished inside of you too
buys you expensive ass lingerie all the time
loves to use his blindfold on you
when he’s in the mood to top, he’s all talk. constant yapping in your ear
“you’re so cute” “fuck i can feel you cumming” “you’re soaking wet are you gonna squirt?”
his fav position is either cowgirl or doggy
when he’s in the mood to bottom, he’s so needy and whiny!!!
“please let me cum” “more i need you more” “fuck me please god, please”
loves to be overstimulated when he lets you take control
like geto, he’s thinner until the base where he thickens up, veiny, 8”
𝐭𝐨𝐣𝐢 !!
bareback only!!
also has a breeding kink and his fav position is def mating press
but also really enjoys reverse cowgirl when he just gets to sit back and watch you fuck yourself on his cock
degrades you in the most positive way
“you’re a good little slut aren’t you?” “my whore” “you’re only good for taking my cock huh”
will spit in your mouth
has no shame, can and will ask you to blow him at any moment or finger you any time he wants
loves fucking you before he knows you’ve got to leave the house
likes the thought of you being all sticky and struggling to walk with his cum inside of you
is not super noisy but will grunt/groan when he’s feeling good
only time he ever really moans is when he’s cumming
has too much stamina and will make you cum several times before he ever cums once
likes to at least cum twice, once in your mouth and the second inside of you, but if you’re able to take him some more, he can def go way more than twice
will only eat you out if your thighs are crushing his head
is 100% an ass man
has it all!! thick & girthy, overall he’s just huge, red/flushed tip, and is at least 9”
#zevrra zevrra!#add a lil spice 🌶️#mdni#18+ mdni#jjk#nanami kento#nanami x fem!reader#jjk nanami#nanami smut#choso kamo#jjk choso#choso smut#choso x female reader#geto suguru#jjk geto#geto smut#geto x female reader#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo smut#gojo x female reader#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji zenin#toji smut#toji x female reader#jjk headcanons
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