#oh. this got hella long. eh. such is the nature of life or whatever.

[butchford]

Shipping culture is fucking insane to me on the premise of the fact that it primarily revolves around people going "I like them and think they should kiss &/or fuck" about character a & b who may or may not have interacted at all during the piece of media they're from. It seldom involves the Dynamics and other shit that gives the practice of saying they should be together any meat or meaning. It makes me so petty I refuse to use the phrase "ship" if I can help it in favor of pairing/dynamic. Any time I give a shit about what two blokes who do fuck all do together within a romantic/queerplatonic/secret third thing lens it's because they're inextricable from each other within the context of their respective arcs and/or have insanely good potential regarding how the way they interact with the world clashes/parallels the other. Yea, it can be done for fun. I respect the prospect of putting two people together on account of comedic potential or shit beyond putting two fandomized cardboard cutouts next to each other. But I think that if two bitches care enough about each other they should bleed irreparably into the other's life whether or not they mean to.

[happyinjection]

♠️♥️High Card Short Story 4 “The Hectic Daily Life of Wendy Sato” (2/3)♦️♣️

Stopping at a ramen shop for lunch, Wendy came across the familiar faces of Finn and Chris.

Original: https://twitter.com/highcard_pj/status/1537269060185993218

Author: https://twitter.com/poipheno

Artist: https://twitter.com/ebimoji3

Vijay’s chai seemed to permeate into every pore of my being, I felt so much more energized after I drank it.

As I was the office manager, naturally the morning is the busiest time for me given that the number of customers peaked in the afternoon. I made some progress, but when I glanced at the clock, it was almost noon before I knew it.

“Wendy, go take a lunch break.”

Leo said as he kept his eyes on his laptop.

“Eh...... I still have work to do, though.”

“You always say that and end up missing lunch. I’ve already said you can go. Aren’t you supposed to do as your boss says?”

“No, but..... ah, Leo. In the afternoon I must attend the usual appointment with the president, and then tomorrow there’s also a meeting with the manager of head office—”

Leo waved his hand lightly without bothering to look over, shooing me away.

“Fine, fine, I got it. I’m going now.”

♠️♥️♦️♣️

It had been a while since the last time I went out for lunch at this hour. Most of the time, I skipped it altogether due to not having much time to spare, or simply bought whatever I could get my hands on at the store.

That’s why today I picked a place which I’ve been interested in for some time. I took a seat near the counter. However.

“..........ugh.”

“Oh, Wendy. It’s rare to see you having lunch out.”

“Heh, it’s you again. So you're craving for ramen too, huh—”

The place I entered was a popular ramen shop. In the afternoon, it was usually bustling with customers that people had to line up, and thus since I felt uncomfortable eating by myself, I thought it was the perfect time to try it out, but...

“Finn said he’d never had ramen before, so I brought him along.”

“Yeah, I’m hella pumped!”

I rested my elbow on the table, sighing.

“Of all people, why must it be you two who caught me...”

“Huh? What’s wrong with getting caught eating ramen?’

Finn looked confused, but Chris quickly cut in.

“Finn, you idiot. At her core, even Wendy possesses the heart of a lady.”

“What a roundabout way of putting it.”

“Finn. One remark such as that could spell your own demise. Those words may as well be the last message of your soon-to-be-dead senior, so make sure to never forget them.”

“Can you please stop pinning me as a dangerous guy in front of Finn?”

Suddenly Finn made a face as if he just remembered something. “Oh, right, I wanted to ask you, Wendy.”

“..........What is it?”

“Uhhh. You see, about that dish you like so much. Ehh~ What do you call it? Chris, that thing, y’know. That,”

“Oh, that. It’s that thing, ain’t it, that.”

“Yeah, exactly that! So what is it called? That thing?”

“What is it again. Let me think. That thingy? Thingy-thing?”

“Damn you, stop playing! You know exactly what I meant! The thing!”

“Just what are you guys on. Are you talking about takoyaki?”

“That’s it! Tako-yaki! I want to try it too!”

“Wendy’s got a takoyaki maker at her place, let me tell ya—”

“Do you usually eat takoyaki at home?”

“Takoyaki is not something you usually eat alone at home, isn’t it.”

“Don’t make it sound like it’s common sense, how am I supposed to know. You know what, maybe you should bring that takoyaki maker to the office sometime.”

“Ooh~ Sounds like a plan. So there’s gonna be a party. I want to join, can I invite some girls?”

Chris put on a pointless show of fixing his collar.

“Yaaay! It’s a tako-party!”

“Hahaha, don’t get too excited, Finn. Hahaha.”

“Not a chance! We’re going to get everything covered in grease.”

“Told ya there’s no way I could’ve known that. Hey, Chris, let’s pester Leo later. Deep down he’s still a kid, I bet he would become elated at the mention of a party.”

I let out a long sigh.

“The thing is, Leo would never allow such a—”

“Hush, Wendy. I don’t care about what you think. It should be acceptable if it’s the manager himself who wants to throw a party, is it not.”

“Yeah. Wendy’s a samurai, so she would never disobey the whims of her superior.”

“Woah, samurai! Also, harakiri! Bushido! Onigiri! Harasho!”

“You, are you stupid or what. The last one’s clearly wrong.”

Chris and Finn were having a blast on their own.

“I’m guessing you’re going to drag Vijay into this too, aren’t you? He won’t approve of it.”

“Uh-huh! Vijay!?!? Feed him leeks!”

“Exactly, just give him some leeks and he will be happy. Wait. Do takoyaki have leeks in them?”

“Why is Vijay so fond of leeks, anyway?”

Just then, our ramen orders were brought in and placed in front of us. Bundles of noodles steeped in transparent golden broth, with garnish arranged neatly on top.

“Woow~ looks tasty! Itadakimasu!”

My hunger had got to the point where it became unbearable, so I immediately put my hands together.

“What’s that, some sort of ritual?”

Once again, Finn had a confused look on his face.

“Back at home, we often say ‘itadakimasu’ and ‘gochisousama’.”

“I see. Then I’ll do it too. Itadakimasu!”

Finn put his hands together as well while still holding his chopsticks.

“Eat your heart out, Finn! Today’s meal is a treat from your senior Wendy! Grab some more eggs!”

“When did I ever say that!”

“Ya....hooo......”

Finn brought the noodles to his mouth in one awkward movement using his chopsticks. And then, after a moment’s pause,

“So good!”

He flashed me a boyish grin. Following that, it occurred to me.

“Hang on, Finn. You’re not holding your chopsticks right.”

“Huh? So what, does it even matter.”

As he fiddled with his chopsticks, Chris commented,

“I can’t believe there are still people who can’t use chopsticks nowadays. You can find them at any Asian restaurant, can you not.”

“I rarely eat out. Come to think of it, Lindsey had once made us use chopsticks during mealtime when we were learning about food in different cultures.”

“Doesn’t that mean you’ve used them before?”

“Not really. I fled from home that day. They’re such a hassle and making it difficult to eat.”

“Well, practice makes perfect. You will be able to hold them properly once you’re familiar with them. Here, try holding them like this.”

I grabbed on his wrist and corrected his position. While maintaining the new stance, Finn tried to pick up a mouthful, but the tips of his chopsticks were visibly shaking.

“..........It’s insanely hard to eat like this, though.”

“As long as you practice, you would definitely get used to it. Do your best.”

“There you go, the moves of a master swordsman!”

While Chris took the opportunity to tease me, Finn yelled out his frustration.

“Enough! This is impossible! I’m just gonna use a fork!”

“You’re no longer a kid, Finn. Watch this, my smart, elegant, slightly risky chopsticks wielding technique.”

Chris wildly swung his chopsticks around to all directions with one hand.

“Ooh, cool!”

“Listen, it is no different to driving a car. Move your fingers passionately, like how you would treat a woman.”

“You two have no manners! Come on, the noodles are getting soggy! Eat up then leave!”

“But you took part in our conversation too, right.....”

“J-just as he said, Wendy.”

The moment I shot them a glare, both of them shrugged in unison and went quiet, then began slurping on their ramen.

Once we had finished our ramen, the three of us drank tea before returning to the branch office. I let Chris pay for our bills.

♠️♥️♦️♣️

TL notes: I’m in no way a professional translator so if you find any mistakes, please do not hesitate to inform me right away. I love the High Card gang and I found it very unfortunate that while it is meant to be a multimedia project, I can’t seem to find the translated versions of any materials (beside the anime) anywhere (if this is against copyright, I will take it down). Hopefully this small TL would help international viewers gain better understanding of HC universe and characters. The author of these SS himself said that he hoped fans would have their “so that’s what it is!” moments when they watch the anime after reading his short stories. So with that in mind, let’s enjoy High Card together~

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 6--On the Inside

Very appropriate title by the way.  Works in a multitude of ways.  

As always, my randomness is going beneath a cut again to spare the eyeballs of those of you that don’t want to see it at all and also?  Help those of you that have somehow stayed spoiler-free in this brand-new age of early release episodes.  It is still so wild to me that I’m a full episode ahead of half the fandom.  I don’t know what I’m going to do when we get to the final episode and they decide to make us all suffer together--because somehow I do feel they will do exactly that after spoiling us for the first 23 episodes.  It is going to be agonizing.  

Anyway.  Without further ado, Shae’s stream of consciousness review (of sorts).  

Not fair, Angela.  Opening the episode with that shot of that big ass spider.  I hate those suckers.  So naturally, they’re an easy sell for setting the horror scene to me, lol.  

Okay.  Who the hell’s chasing Virgil and Connie?  Walker No-See-Ums?

Barely a minute in and the atmosphere for this episode is moody AF.  

What is this?  Tara Jr. The Walking Dead?  LOL.  Where’s the Scarlett for this mini plantation house?  Anyway.  First three minutes of this episode?  Just as attention grabbing as the first five episode openings this season.  I don’t think people out there are giving our writers enough love for that.  Every episode so far has opened like a mini movie.  

With the way the Walking Dead logo keeps crumbling away with each successive episode, somehow it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the Carol and Daryl spinoff was eventually titled The Living and had flowers growing out of each letter, lol.  I mean, there would be a certain sort of life-affirming symmetry in a show that’s been promised to be much lighter in tone doing just that.  

More Carol and Aaron?  Yes, please.  I don’t necessarily like Carol staying at home and sitting the sidelines like a figurative happy little homemaker in the B story while the rest of the mains are trying like hell to sell the A story, but if she’s going to be totally prohibited from the main storyline until it’s time to blow shit up?  I’m going to continue enjoy getting to see her do what she should have been doing for seasons--interacting with others in the community, especially Aaron and the ladies.  

Truly.  I really am loving my girl getting some quality Aaron and Rosita time.  It’s so long overdue.  

Bless sweet Kelly.  Riding off to her sister’s rescue.  

Why isn’t Lydia shown as part of these plans?  For someone that could barely read last season, I doubt that big ass map was a piece of cake for her and it’s all just guesswork anyway without her guidance.  I mean, why does it feel like they are cutting some of this stuff that might not seem like much plot-wise but would go a long way toward establishing different character beats?  Personally, I would have loved to see her involved in the search and sharing scenes again with Carol and bonding with Kelly. 

Virgil be having that “I always feel like somebody’s watching me” feeling.  Don’t you hate that, lol?  

“You haven’t slept in days.”  But how many days, Virgil?  I’m going to need a number because I’m confused AF about this timeline at this point.  What we’re seeing and what different pieces of dialogue is telling us is not exactly lining up.  I’m going to find it awful hilarious if it hasn’t even been two weeks since the cave in.  For reasons.  

Connie’s spidey senses are clearly tingling.  

Alrighty, then.  She’s clearly got PTSD.  Understandable.  They’ve all had it.  Some have been treated more sympathetically than others, though.  

I mean, it never seems to cross anybody’s mind how Carol probably sees Henry’s head on that pike, Mika’s pale and bloody body, Lizzie crumpled face down in a bed of yellow flowers, Sophia with a smoking bullet hole through her undead head whenever she closes her eyes but whatever.  

Okay though.  But what if Connie had really shitty, impossible to read handwriting?  AKA doctor’s  handwriting.  What then?  

Leah’s face honestly twists my insides whenever I see it, lol.  It’s quiet a visceral thing.  No, that does not make me a horrible person.  Not everybody wants or has to drink the awesome, great, redeemable villainess Kool-Aid.  IMHO, she’s got a face meant for a Walker.  Perfect makeover idea.  Eh.  Mostly it’s her expression and the deadness of her eyes.  

Anyway.  Why is it always the fingers?  Eff that.  

Listen.  If ya’ll can’t tell Daryl’s conflicted AF with the situation he’s landed in, you don’t know how to read NR’s face and eyes.  He’s not a masterclass like MMB but he’s pretty darn good when he wants to be.  

I honestly feel sorry for Redshirt Frost.  

“You do what you gotta do.”  Frost knows what’s what and he’s willing to walk the walk for Maggie.  Impressive loyalty.  I’m left wondering how the current, colder incarnation of Maggie inspired it because I’m still struggling to see it.  Anywho.  My point is the dude knows the score and just gave Daryl the okay.  

Daryl taking off his angel vest before stepping into the role of torturer/interrogator=him shedding the persona/the man Judith and RJ and Lydia and Carol know him to be.  Pushing away his man of honor status so he can just survive somehow.  

Pope never quits chewing whatever the hell he’s got in his mouth.  It’s kind of distracting.  

Ohhh.  We’re back to the Haunted Mansion.  I mean house.  Where are the Hitchhiking Ghosts?  

All the eyes scratched out of those creepy pictures=spooky.  

The good old fogged up bathroom mirror shot.  Somebody’s been watching and studying their horror movies, lol.  Not gonna lie though.  I’m legit bracing myself for the jump scares I know have to be coming.  

I’m loving the music/score in these scenes.  

Truthfully, I could care less about these Reapers.  But they are hella attractive, lol.  Listen.  Angela knows what she’s doing.  

Kelly’s horse is so pretty.  Prayer chain for that baby.  

More dead horses?  Why?  

Connie’s slingshot?  Sorry.  I maintain, no matter how much I like these two, that they have the lamest weapons ever.  Endless supply of Virginia rocks or not.  

So.  Did Virgil and Connie enjoy a little equine for dinner?  Did they kill it before the Walkers fed?  What monsters!  Yeah, no.  Not if they were starving even if I personally could not have.  The more probable story is they fled the camp in a panic and left the horse behind and then it went down.  Sorry.  I didn’t exactly study the wounds on the poor animal because it is so traumatizing to me to continue to see them meet such dastardly ends on this show.  I don’t know who the hell has such a score to settle with horses but stop it.  

Days.  It’s only been days.  Not weeks.  So many times with all that Daryl and Company have had to contend with since the cave in?  Those do not exist, lol.  They’re just a convenient, appeasing piece of dialogue thrown at a fanbase primed and ready to read everything into not much of anything.  There’s just not been enough time for it to happen unless Daryl has literally been up 24/7 for all of them.  You know, strategizing how to attack the remainders of Alpha’s horde, figuring out how to defend Hilltop before it fell, healing from the wound he sustained at Alpha’s hand, sitting on that log all damn night with Negan waiting on Carol to come home, having a lover’s quarrel with his best damn everything, taking care of the Grimes babies and Lydia, being the reluctant leader.  Kang, why you playing them like that?  Daryl’s a super guy but he’s not a superhuman with clones.  So many times my ass.  

Seriously.  Who been watching Connie and Virgil?  The MIA Oceansiders?  Beta’s Fee Fi Fo Fum Ghost?  

Nice.  A Michonne mention.  Maybe the truth will start to trickle out.  

LMAO at Connie’s “I’m not staying here.”  Me neither, girl.  I would be outta that house so fast.  

They really “Quiet Placing” this episode.  Honestly?  I’m kinda loving it.  

WTF was that?  I know she can’t hear but you telling me all the little hairs on her arms, legs, and neck didn’t stand the fuck up and say fuck this shit, I’m gone?  Pardon my language, lovelies, but that moment had my heart kicking up several beats.  

Okay, okay.  To be fair to Connie, every hair on her body been doing that since the front door closed.  Maybe they’re desensitized.  

Gollum’s chasing Connie!!!  He/She wants their Precious!!!

The knee jerk reactions about this episode sight unseen are OTT, honestly.  And I mean no disrespect by saying that.  I can understand completely where they’re coming from because we’ve been burned so long in this fandom.  But it’s obvious the spoiler source has their particular biases and reads into things in such a way that don’t line up with what’s actually being shown onscreen.  Daryl’s loyalty in this episode and all along quite clearly lies with his family and his community.  He’s been playing Leah since the start and is truly just trying to survive somehow.  

Awful thought.  The Reaper that’s so suspish of Daryl--haven’t quite caught his name or really cared to.  I feel like he might try to get to Daryl somehow.  When he realizes that Daryl cares no more for Leah than any human would care for somebody (they thought) they used to know?  He’s going after Dog.  Or Carol should she finally join this story. 

I refuse to believe Carol isn’t going to be a part of this story.  Because they messing with her mans, lol.  

“You’re ever with us or you’re not.”  Now where have I heard those words before?  I wish I could find that Daryl gif because that had to be one of the funniest things ever, lol.  

Unrealistic suggestion to Daryl, Leah?  Breathing oxygen seems to piss off Carver.  Oh look.  He finally has a name for me, lol.  

I love how all three of the ladies--Carol, Magna, and Rosita--look at Kelly with such indulgent, adoring “little sis, you alright?” eyes.  

They are seriously the most beautiful quartet of characters.  I mean all of them are lovely but Carol and Rosita this season?  Ugh.  The unfairness of the pretty.  

Human bones.  Terminus callback, lovelies.  How it all would have eventually gone down if Gareth and Co. hadn’t met the business end of Rick’s red machete.  

So many horror movie homages in this one.  

Virgil’s like “let’s leave this Texas Chainsaw Massacre behind.”  

Connie and Virgil have obviously bonded, ya’ll.  I’m surprised by how much I’m enjoying their scenes together when the character mostly got on my nerves with Michonne.  He’s a good actor and the core of his character is sympathetic, but I’m not going to lie.  I wasn’t super enthused when he was the one that rescued Connie because I didn’t know how their scenes would play out. But there’s a nice synergy there.  

Okay.  Does Carver want Leah for himself?  Because I’m sure Daryl at this point would love to scream “take her, I know where I fucking belong!”  

Daryl’s digging in deep because Carver has shown him Leah’s potential weak spot.  Nuance is truly lost on some people, LMAO.  He cares about Leah as a human being probably.  He’s Daryl, after all.  The sweet one.  But he sees her as his way outta this and he’s going to exploit it.  

It’s nice to have a silent Negan for once, lol.  I can pretend he didn’t take my baby Glenn away from me and enjoy JDM’s pretty.  

So.  These cannibal people were the watchers?  Hmm.  

I’m really digging Virgil 2.0.  Yeah.  Nobody’s surprised more than me.  

Sweet, sweet scene between Virgil and Connie.  His determination to reunite her with her family brings back the sympathy I felt for him when he told Michonne “I promised her flowers.  Every day.”  

Damn.  How many of those creepy crawly cannibals are there?  

How brave of Connie to confront her fears to save someone she’s obviously grown to care about.  

The Kelly/Connie reunion gave me chills and made me cry.  Thank fuck Angela didn’t cheapen that moment by having it focus on literally anybody else.  Kelly is the most important person in the whole world to Connie and vice versa.  Just like Carol is the most important person in the whole world to Daryl and vice versa.  Angela fucking knows.  Everybody does.  Except the people busy building castles out of sand while the waves of Carol’s and Daryl’s converging stories keep crashing closer and closer to shore.  

Such a beautiful moment given to us by Angel Theory and Lauren Ridloff.  So authentic and sweet.  Kelly and Connie are home to each other.  

Poor Frost.  That’s all I gotta say about that.  

WTF, though.  Was Mel just not available or what?  I want to see more of the ASZ characters that I care about, not the Reapers.  Like I’d be fine with the story if all the characters not named Maggie, Negan, or Daryl weren’t surviving on crumbs during it.  Especially the 2nd billed actress on the entire show.  Angela.  Please.  Fix this.  

One last WTF.  Seriously.  WTF has Maggie done to inspire Pope’s obsession?  It better be juicy after all this shit.  

Overall impression of the episode--

One of my favorites of the season so far.  The horror aspects were fantastic, IMHO. I truly didn’t expect to like Connie and Virgil’s scenes as much together so that was a nice surprise.  She got the reunion that felt most true and earned for the character and her story and I thank Angela from the bottom of my heart for that.  

I would have loved more Carol but I always want more Carol.  I’m okay with her taking a backseat because ultimately?  This was Kelly’s moment with her sister.  Carol and Connie will eventually have their time to sit down and talk.  And pick back up their blossoming friendship because I truly do not feel Connie blames Carol at all.  

I do wish Lydia had been included with the girl group.  Last episode felt like it was leading up to that.  

The Reaper storyline continues to be the weakest link because every time we see them the dialogue and interactions feel totally recycled from the time previous.  I feel like it would have totally been helped by a tighter focus and less stretching out because 8 episodes of this is really diluting what I feel like Angela and Co. are going for.  I’m not here for Leah being redeemed or being a bigger focus in any of the episodes because she does nothing of interest for me.  I’m just peeking in on that story for the Daryl of it all.  

Speaking of the Daryl? You lovelies out there gotta stop taking that spoiler source’s recaps at face value because it’s obvious to me at least that there’ some bias at work.  Every action and word coming from Daryl is coming from a place of loyalty to his family and wanting to protect them, no matter how he has to dirty his hands.  Leah is just a means to his ultimate end.  She’s not his future.  She never was.  His future’s already spoken for and 2023 can’t get  here soon enough.  But like Daryl, we have to just survive somehow.  

Oh goodie.  More Maggie and Negan next episode and looks like no real follow up on Connie and the ASZ reunions.  Hopefully, this is yet another instance of the previews being deceiving but I’m not holding my breath.  

Until later, lovelies.  

Hope my word vomit didn’t bore you too much.  

[onegirllis]

Life is Strange - the simple truth

It was a long day for Lisa. She stretched her roots, squeezed her leaves and looked around the small room in Blackwell Academy.  “All right, I’m up, where is my water?” she murmured, with a totally blank expression on her face (the one she didn’t have because you know... she’s a plant).

“She forgot to water you again, my mistress?” asked a squirrel who just jumped on window frame. His name was Victorious, but everybody called him Sticky Viki, mostly because his mouth was always full of resin and nuts. Victorious was accompanied by another of his kind, a smaller squirrel called Maximus. It would be reasonable to assume that everybody would call him Max, but Lisa hated that name. She wasn’t sure why, but it in her plant mind it was associated with indecisive people who were traveling back and forth in time and kept forgetting about their duties.

“She always forgets!” squeaked Maximus, and his little grey body shook in disgust.

“She deserves to be punished! Bitch doesn’t give you water, she’s gotta get got.” – Sticky Viki opened another bag of nuts and started eating. He was already full after going through every trash can in the neighborhood, but don’t judge.

“Damn right. I’m gonna get all the water that she forgot to give me, create a huge freaking tornado and shove it up her ass!”

The squirrels shut up immediately.  

“Ass…?” one of them whispered in shock. “Like how…?” The silence was so persistent that they could hear Lisa’s leaves moving back and forth.

“Eh... I’m not sure if that’s a great idea,” said Maximus. The other squirrel grew pale and almost fainted.

Lisa was about to explain how important it is to punish every single slave that pays more attention to stupid photography than doing their errands. And she had to sit in this building where a bunch of crazy people were killing each other over photo sessions, drugs and pregnancy tests. Unbearable.

“Oh, hello there,” Said the doe, coming closer to the building and breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“Oh, hi Rachel!”

“Don’t call me Rachel. Rachel means sheep. How many times have I told you that I’m a freaking deer?”

“You look... hmm transparent today.” Lisa looked down from the window at the glittering animal. “Too much sun? Stop tanning that much!”

“Don’t tell me what to do! I’m an independent, wild and free animal, I can do whatever I want.” Rachel’s hooves trembled with anger. Then she calmed down a little and added: “But you are right, I think it’s the weather. Or…” Rachel thought for a moment. It was usually a painful process and didn’t go well. “Or maybe because I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!”

Lisa exchanged knowing looks with Sticky Viki and Maximus. The squirrels nodded sadly. Rachel had some problem with general perception. Once she started to eat punk shirts, plastic bags and other rugs in the junkyard she was never the same. Unfortunately, there were no therapy sessions for does. Transparent does especially.

And you can’t tell a deer what to eat.

“So, you’re planning a tornado, huh?” said Rachel, breaking the uncomfortable silence. ��It would be fun.”

“Wouldn’t it be a little dangerous?” asked Maximus reluctantly.

“Oh, fuck that.” Lisa waved her leaf. “Dangerous for who? Those little creatures called people? I hope so! As for our safety… We can always hide in a bunker. I found one recently - it’s pretty good, with a nice stereo system. And water. Tons of water.”

“Wait… how did you find it?” asked Maximus suspiciously. “You are a plant…”

“So?”

“It means you usually stay in place...”

“So?” Lisa was slowly getting angry. Those creatures didn’t understand her powers, and dared to question her, Lisa, the plant!

That could end badly, but fortunately the interrogation and uncomfortable questions were cut off by yet another visitor.

“Hi guys!” a blue butterfly showed up out of nowhere. “What’s up!?”

The plant and the squirrels moved back a little. This little flying guy had a terrible habit of consuming his lunch, sitting on the janitor’s bucket or on some dead bodies. It was hella creepy.

“Hello Arnold,” said Lisa slowly. She knew that the blue butterfly had some hearing problem and had the attention span of a 5-year old. She had to be loud, clear and patient. “Would you mind creating a tornado for us?”

“A … what?”

“A TORNADO!” Lisa yelled so loudly that squirrels dropped their nuts.

“I heard you the first time.” Arnold shrugged his wings. “But what the fuck do you need a tornado for? Are you nuts?”

“Hey!” said Sticky Viki and Maximus in unison.

“Since butterflies usually don’t last longer than a day, I figured you wouldn’t mind creating a small natural disaster.” Lisa sighed and stretched again. Being the Lady of Arcadia Bay was tiring sometimes.

“Well... sure. What’s in it for me?” Arnold looked at her suspiciously.

Lisa scratched her non-existent head.

“Everybody gonna die?” She tried, with a lovely, most persistent smile that a plant can give.

“Hey, it was my idea!” said Rachel. “I’m consecutively trying to kill everybody in Arcadia Bay, and now you’re saying it’s your revenge plan? Fuck you!”

“The outcome would be the same, what’s your deal?” Lisa slowly regretted being a plant, not a tree. She could at least burn a whole forest with her anger, including all the deer and insubordinate creatures. The only thing she could burn down right now would be tons of polaroid selfies. “You will get more dead people to see. I assumed you would be satisfied.”

Rachel wasn’t sure how she felt about the whole murderous tornado thing, but tried to look on the bright side. As always.

“More dead people to see!” the doe got excited and started jumping all over the lawn.

“More nuts to steal!” yelled Maximus!

“humpffh hummpff humppps,” said Sticky Vicky with a mouthful of food.

Excitement. At last. – Sighed Lisa.

“Peculiar idea, but... why not.” Arnold was willing to cooperate. This was the first good thing that happened to the lady or Arcadia Bay this morning.

 “Can I keep the janitor’s bucket?” the butterfly asked while opening his iPad and going through the weather reports.

“Sure.” She agreed, hoping that the bucket would fly the hell out of this place once the tornado would come. “Even the freaking fire alarm if you want.”

She opened her branches, shook her leaves and yelled:

“Squirrels, does, butterflies and beyond! The time of my revenge has come! We will clean this place out from delinquents, drama queens, water forgetting people and pyromaniacs!”

“I thought we got rid of the pyromaniacs last year?” Rachel frowned.

“There could be more, you never know.”

“Right.”

“Can I name the tornado?” asked Rachel impatiently.

“I thought you hated your name.” Lisa was confused.

“I do! But I don’t like when somebody steals my ideas and doesn’t even care about giving me any credit. It’s unfair...”

‘FINE!” Lisa was already very annoyed. “The tornado will be called Rachel’s Revenge.”

“I think you would have to consult it with the National Hurricane Center,” said Arnold, still above his iPad. The little butterfly’s legs were clicking around as fast as possible. “It’s not up to a doe to name that shit, you know.”

“How do you know, you bucket lover?” Rachel cut him off.

“Fuck off, you limpid deer!”

“Wait!” said Sticky Viki chewing on his nuts. “If everybody is gonna die, who will water you and stuff?”

“I wouldn’t need the water,” Lisa smiled ominously. “I will be thriving on their BLOOD.”

[buildarocketboys]

For the character meme - any two characters from the Hour, and any two from Indian Summers.

ooh thank you! I’ve already done Bel, so I’ll do Hector and Freddie

Hector:

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life  (listen...I love my trash son Hector)hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (he’s a slytherin who could have been a gryffindor. Freddie is a gryffindor who could have been a slytherin. It makes for a very interesting dynamic)best quality: he tries, bless him. sometimes not very well, but like...he does try. Can be a pretty good friend if he’s not getting drunk or trying to get in your pants or having petty arguments with people.worst quality: his smarminess and just like. flirting with other women who aren’t his wife like a binch.ship them with: sort of marnie in the last two episodes of s2? They have kind of a reconciliation and it’s sort of adorable? But there definitely needs to be a lot more work on that for me to properly ship it.brotp them with: BEL IN S2 OH MY GOD (I’ve literally never brotp’d anything so hard tbh). Also Freddie. I love my news triumvirate fam.needs to stay away from: fucking Laurie Stern. He’s a straight up bastard and Hector does eventually realise that but it takes so long because he guilts him by saying that he saved Hector’s life.misc. thoughts: MY TRASH SON. He’s awful but he tries so hard and I love him. Also like...Straight Ally(tm). Not a good one but...he’s definitely pretty chill with people being gay he just...doesn’t really get what it’s like bc he is Straight White Privileged Man(tm)

Freddie Lyon

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (like I said, a gryffindor that could have been a slytherin. He can be manipulative as fuck, he’s suuuper ambitious (especially when he comes back from America, but he’s also hella brave in a way that’s just natural to him, and truth and justice matter more to him than any kind of personal gain)best quality: His tenacity/stubborness when it comes to important stuff, whether that’s The Hour, a news story, Bel, anything. He will. not. let. it. drop.worst quality: His callousness. He says things he knows will hurt people, unnecessarily - he doesn’t necessarily do it to be cruel - it’s part of the ‘truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth’, but there is that vindictive part there, which lashes out when he’s hurt (particularly at Bel). What’s that Taylor Swift lyric? ‘Casually cruel in the name of being honest’ - that’s Freddie to a T.ship them with: BEL ROWLEY THEY ARE SOULMATESbrotp them with: Hector, Lix, Kiki actually they were super cute awkward pals in like, the last episode.needs to stay away from: Cilenti and Norman and Trevor, *shudders*misc. thoughts: RIDICULOUS BOY, cares more about the truth than he does his own safety, the sweetest and also the meanest, most stubborn asshole you will ever meet, one of the best characters you’ll ever watch on television, this is me recommending the hour to you for Freddie Lyon if for nothing else, he is honestly an absolute TREASURE of a character.

Indian Summers

I’m gonna do my two baes (and get annoyed about how they got fucked up by the writers in s2)

Sooni Dalal (MY DAUGHTER. MY PRINCESS. SHE IS EVERYTHING. AHEM.)

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more gryffindor character HONESTLY)best quality: her willingness to fight for what’s rightworst quality: how uncompromising she is in her ideals and how to achieve them. sometimes that’s admirable, but it’s not always possible, and it tends to lead to her butting heads with people she loves. Sometimes that’s necessary, but sometimes it’s not.ship them with: IAN AND IM STILL SO MAD ABOUT THAT WHOLE THINGbrotp them with: Aafrin (and Shamshad). This is honestly the most realistic sibling relationship I’ve seen on TV and I love them all.needs to stay away from: That terrorist guy who stabbed hermisc. thoughts: UNCOMPROMISING IDEALISTIC REVOLUTIONARY PRINCESS OF MY HEART. Also the most beautiful girl in the world. But mostly she just kicks ass and takes names and won’t back down and is smart as fuck and I just want the best for her. I hope she gets to be a lawyer and live her life (and I hope she and her muslim husband survive partition like...I get that that was an interesting direction to go in but it’s also scary as fuck)

Ian McLeod (MY SMALL SCOTTISH SON)

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: he’ll do what’s right, no matter what the consequences/if it’s socially unacceptableworst quality: his hotheadedness (which is increased tenfold when he’s drunk) ship them with: Sooni! (I actually kind of saw them both as aroace, who would be bros for life and eventually marry for convenience, but I knew we probs wouldn’t get that from the show and like. They were so setting it up for us to ship them. What the fuck show.)brotp them with: Sooni again (as above), Alice (remember that time he runs away with what he thinks are Ramu Sood’s ashes and Alice comes across him and he’s like ‘idk where im going but join me if you wanna’ and she’s like ‘yeah sure why not’? that was cute as shit) and actually sort of Mr Khan, because I liked that he went to him after Sooni rejected his proposal to like. talk it out or whatever (until he found out she’d accepted his proposal, and then went total asshole on them both. ugh, ian, why)needs to stay away from: FUCKING STELLA OH MY GOD. I didn’t watch the last 2 or 3 episodes but apparently they get back together/have sex again and like. I can’t. Ian. Please. Love yourself.misc. thoughts: ACTUAL cinnamon roll (soaked in booze), honest and good to a fault, confused petulant rhino but not here for any of that British bullshit, tries so hard but doesn’t succeed, WHY WAS THE WHOLE PROPOSAL/GETTING REJECTED/GETTING MAD AT SOONI/GETTING DRUNK/SLEEPING WITH STELLA AGAIN PLOTLINE IMPOSED UPON US? IT MADE IT SO CRAP. WHY THE FUCK.

[eyedelater]

post about the rest of the ajin anime (seasons 1 and 2)

(nothing special, just a liveblog post)

ajin episode 6

i see that the animation budget saved by doing CGI was instead spent on the fluttery shifty effects of the black ghosts

so satou's ghost is also anvil-headed

right, nagai doesn't have much empathy... hmm... hmm... that doesn't excuse his being an asshole at times

tosaki sure is eager to jump to conclusions as to why satou didn't bring out his ghost

ohh, ghost-to-ghost head collisions can bump some memories back and forth, interesting, i forgot about that...

huh, what is eriko calling kei "onii-chan" for at a time like this? she called him "nii-san" to his face and i think in front of everyone who talked to her about him, right? was that her way of expressing worry about him...?

episode 7

tosaki's gotta get that dekai kane

right, of course he's motivated by comatose fiance. doesn't excuse any of the shit he's done

episode 8

nakano kou. do we seriously have a kei, a kai, and a kou? sounds like a bit of a natural OT3 tbh

episode 9

there we go, nagai kei finally being an indisputable asshole

oh, right, big pharma makes an appearance as an antagonist

sokabe has a very silly face.

i already forgot what IBM stands for and can only come up with IBM he company or ICBM (intercontinental ballistic missile) without the C

right, ogura's distinguishing feature was not only smoking cigarettes, but being unreasonably dedicated to his brand of smokes in particular. so dumb

episode 10

ogura says a black ghost can only be used once or twice a day, but didn't nagai kei whip em out one after another like it was no thing? is that his special protagonist power that makes him differentiated enough to be the protagonist?

kei's ghost learned how to fell a tree from minecraft

do they really have huge screens up in cities complete with booming audio? the screens are nothing new, but the audio seems unusual to me

episode 11

oh, tosaki finally learned satou's name. from satou's video.

yamanaka-san bought him an oPhone8

"life and money are synonymous" sounds like your typical CEO

omfg satou rode the sinking tower and had a great time

sokabe is still calling satou "hat guy." get with the picture

episode 12

this just in: does satou sometimes substitute a "sh" sound in for an "s" sound?

episode 13

kei demonstrates his shittiness by holding a knife to yamanaka-san's neck after getting sniped. what a dick. oh wait he made it work. well whatever

tosaki says nagai kei is not a fool and as such he probably already scouted out the area, but tosaki immediately also says nagai kei has probably exhausted his black ghost uses for the day, something a fool would do because only a fool doesn't know their own limits and try to use them tactically in such a situation

time for season 2 i guess, episode 2-1

this OP isn't bad i guess

these subs having sokabe say "it's normal for a subordinate to greet his senpai." listen, if you use "senpai," you gotta also use "kohai," and if you use "subordinate," you also gotta use "superior" you can't just pick and choose which words you want to translate

this ending song is horrible

ep 2-2

sakurai emerging from the airplane toilet clearly zipping up his fly out of frame and seeing satou and his eyebrows just turn on a fulcrum and then turn backward like they're pinball flippers

ep 2-3

ah. i was musing over what must be the most popular ship for ajin, thinking maybe kei/kai or kei/kou or tosaki/ogura, but i've had a bit of a realization, and if i know the hearts of the BL community at all, their favorite ship is probably some sinful shit like tosaki/kei. i’ll find out soon enough whether i’m right (haven’t looked at any ajin pixiv tags yet)

ep 2-4

kotobuki, eh. seems like a charming character. oh, this bandanna delinquent is pulling the ol' pee-and-chat

kaito, everyone's favorite punching bag

for the record, i know i've read beyond this point in the manga, but i don't remember shit except that i left off around a chapter where we see shimomura's history.

kotobuki has a small head, maybe he just squeezed through some bars to escape

ah, i just realized the other anime this kinda reminds me of: zankyou no terror. it's got the police/government and the american government trying to intervene aspect to it.

carly meyers doesn't have any kind of american accent... i was kinda hoping she would

neither does doug here. i guess they didn't have voice actors who would have some fun doing a bad accent... or maybe they didn't see it as appropriate

holy FUCK, kaito executed a flying dropkick even though he wasn't on higher ground or anything, what the fuck

kotobuki asks kai what nagai kei is like and i earnestly half-expected him to reply "he's scum" like everyone else does

oh, so kotobuki's got a winged kuro-chan. lucky... 

i forgot to write about this in the episode where it was said, but that iowan ajin whose ghost was driving a tractor is such a perfect image i can't stop thinking about it

ep 2-5

so i guess satou's catchphrase is "sssshate" (bc he kinda does a "sha" instead of a "sa") (meaning "now, then.")

the first OP wasn't skippable but i find myself needing to skip this one

there's lots of "pulling up live television broadcasts via a non-television device" in this anime

kou calling shimomura "izumi-san" pls

i like how whoever is nearest the whiteboard is the one to cross the latest victim off the target list

ok, if tosaki is about to be fired (which, hasn't he been for a while now?), that made me think, why is he concerned about his job when he's doing this conspiring with ogura and nagai etc hidden from his superiors? is he concerned about stopping satou, or is he still only concerned about money for his fiancee...? is he getting hella paid for this even though he's less involved in the torture (the real moneymaking activity) than before?

i don't like this dynamic btwn american guy and carly meyers where he keeps correcting her gruffly and she keeps backing off and looking afraid/ashamed.

they had nakano put on a satou hat to be satou ;w;

did shimomura just plug a flash drive into her phone? what kind of compatibility we got in this time period?

how long do neck-stab sedatives take to kick in in real life?

carly meyers's kuro-chan has a gem-shaped head

why don't all ajins just keep a knife or something on them to cut their own throat whenever they get hurt

ep 2-6

tainaka yoko. yup, this is about where i left off in the manga, i believe

whoa there, tosaki just got tased right in the nib nob. that's dirty, american doug

i can't say i feel bad for tosaki getting tortured.

ep 2-7

shut your ungrateful mouth, tosaki, shimomura was LITERALLY just doing her job, which you TOLD HER WAS HER JOB: PROTECTING YOU

how in the fuck did satou get away with playing dead when the other side KNOWS it's ajins they're fighting

why isn't ogura, a native english speaker, the one writing an email to the defense department

ep 2-8

this new OP is ok

ep 2-10

(i spent all of 2-9 doing origami instead of typing)

tosaki don't relapse on your smoking habit :( that's not gonna do anyone any good.

ep 2-11

kai busts in with his signature move and saves the day and he's started calling kotobuki "senpai"

so kei's signature line to kai is "i really have to pee"

kai's like "you're wrong. he (kei) isn't an idiot." that's right, he's actually trash, ask anyone

i can't emphasize enough how bad this ending theme is

ep 2-12

well okuyama-kun has been kind of lovable so far, so if he and others decide to join tosaki's side, that would probably be good

isn't burying someone alive the worst way to try to contain them? because you can't see them directly. they could escape without you noticing

ep 2-13

no kabedonning shimomura >:(

wait wait is tanaka also wearing a satou hat? oh, it's just a baseball cap.

fuck off tanaka don't impale shimomura in the same way twice

oh, one of nagai's new ghost army said the thing that nagai said at the scene where he first saw a ghost :0 about the sick puppy. i like all these ghosts spouting quotes

oh, he cut off satou's head. well, that's the first head we've seen cut off. is he facing the right direction to meet his new self? he closed his eyes too soon for us to find out :\

helicopters are raining in bullets from above like in ghost in the shell (1995) (unless i’m completely misremembering. there were other things that were raining bullets in various directions in that scene so i’m not sure)

so now satou's in custody for the first time. 

so satou had an exposition dream

honestly i’m no longer sure where i even left off when i read the manga x years ago, i feel like i may have dropped it because i didn’t care for the boring military shit going on for quite a while, but i feel like i even distantly remember satou being beheaded in the manga...? but anyway i’m gonna (re?)read the whole manga now i guess. overall manga verdict: it had a distant, clammy feel to it, but not bad; the voice for nagai’s ghost was real good; they did a good job with the cgi animation, but it definitely lacks something compared to the art in the manga; the only good OP was the first one; and yeah idk my feeling toward this anime is pretty neutral.

[sadrien]

what’s the stitch? | pt.1

on ao3

from the high school senior that brought you wanna chat? comes another chat fic that no one asked for

just so we're all on the same page, alya has the fox miraculous, nino the turtle, and chloe the bee. i latched onto this team of miraculous holders a while back and now i'm just throwing up random stuff. initially i wasn't going to write more than a small snip of this but @breeeliss​ is a horrible enabler (<3)

i'm still working on the dynamics for them, especially since they're still getting to know each other, so sorry if it's rough

anyway let's do this

18:23

Cat: What does this do? Oh COOL

Bee: what in fresh hell is this

Turtle: yo wassup this is rad wait lemme see…

Fox: HELLA

Ladybug: Chat what the hell did you do

Cat: Hey don’t blame me for being bored

There are fun settings on these things and I wanted to explore them

Fox: this is rad as hECK

Bee: i hate you all

Fox: this is going to be lit i cant believe i can text the crew through a weapon the magic whatevers that created these things knew what was up

Turtle has changed their name to michael angelo

michael angelo: hell yeah

Cat: Whoa what we can do that!!

Bee: this is going to be the most obnoxious chat ever i can feel it let me leave

Cat has changed their name to :3

Bee: holy shit let me out wait why the hell don’t these things have emojis i am personally offended

:3: Ah yes let me just call up the ancient gods and ask them to install emojis on our weapons

Bee: listen here you piece of shit

Fox has changed their name to foxy lady

Bee: can i give back my miraculous i don’t want it anymore

foxy lady: this is the best thing to ever happen

michael angelo: aYO

:3: I love it It’s like a less awful skype

Ladybug: Can we maybe try to keep this for talking about where akumas are?

:3: Hmmm

foxy lady: i mean we COULD

Bee has changed their name to beeutiful

beeutiful: ;*

michael angelo: yeah no way thats happening ladybug

:3: Its bonding!!!

Ladybug: Now I want to leave

:3: Awww join in on the fun my lady! Please??? Team bonding

foxy lady: @chat do u know how 3 get youtube on these things ive got videos to send

beeutiful: ummm what sort of videos?

foxy lady: ;)

michael angelo: if you send a meme ILL give up my miraculous

foxy lady: good we dont need u

Ladybug: Did you say team bonding??

:3: Yes that’s exactly what this is Duh

 6:13

michael angelo: well shit i really hope your kwami alert you of messages or something cause im actually going to use this the way its supposed to be used akuma at eiffel tower

 6:17

beeutiful: disgusting i’ll be there in a minute

:3: You’ll BEE there?

beeutiful: im going to punt you off the tower

foxy lady: i ws going to tell u 2 shut up unfortunate wheres the bug @

michael angelo: um??? backup??????? please????

foxy lady: OH right omw

 6:19

Ladybug: Ill be there in a sec

 6:48

foxy lady: i cant believe u all bolted like that i was gonna ask if we could do breakfast

Ladybug: I’m about to destransform, sorry! Ill talk to you all later but really since my kwami can only tell me that I have a message but not whats in it please try not to talk here too much I wont be able to tell whats important

:3: I can’t beelieve this

beeutiful: im literally going to rip your head off

foxy lady: everything is important anyway food i guess ill find some on my own then on my own pretending hes beside me :’(

beeutiful: @ladybug if you figure out how to mute this please let me know because oh my god

michael angelo: bro im just gonna snag a bag of chips before class

:3: Healthy

michael angelo: what was the last thing you ate cat boy?

:3: You’re going to judge me

beeutiful: im always judging you

foxy lady: oooooo

michael angelo: what are you a health nut or osmething cn?

:3: Not by choice

foxy lady: unfortunate

michael angelo: alright next patrol were getting super cheap pizza

foxy lady: and fries and milkshakes and possibly also hamburgers superheroing makes me hungry

beeutiful: ewwwww

foxy lady: dont like junk food???

beeutiful: no!!! its greasy and disgusting and sooo bad for your skin like who wants to deal with THAT

:3: Ok true I don’t have time to deal with acne

foxy lady: u both have unfairly perfect skin

michael angelo: ^^ true tho how do you manage that??

beeutiful: good genes and a fantastic skin care routine sure i’m naturally gorgeous but it takes a little work to reach true perfection

:3: So many different types of scrubs and creams So many that I could drown in them And also makeup Usually concealer and foundation every day

beeutiful: true my contour btw? art

foxy lady: thats cool but u havent seen my cat eye

:3: ;)

michael angelo: yeahhh makeup isnt my jam i suck at it 0/10 not attempting again

beeutiful: what!!!! makeup is EVERYONES jam i mean if you don’t like it whatever but with practice and patience you too can look as good as moi if you think you don’t look good with makeup on it’s just cause you’re not doing it right trust me

foxy lady: yeah bro if we didnt have these masks id totally do u up during patrol one night

:3: Add that to the list of things to do if we ever reveal our identities Makeovers

michael angelo: theres a list???

beeutiful: wait i thought we could never ever tell each other ever boss’ rules

:3: A cat boy can dream

foxy lady: do we think ladybug likes makeup

beeutiful: oh my god the most important question shit i’m about to detransform anyway check out my contour next time we’re out because it’s flawless

michael angelo: im out too ive been pushing it later dudes

foxy lady: and then there were two

:3: Benefits of using catacylsm at the end I guess

foxy lady: :P this miiiiight b difficult if we can only use it when transform eh w/e ill take what i can get

:3: Same honestly

 17:34

foxy lady: im bored and my actual friends are busy

 17:39

michael angelo: so we arent your friends then

beeutiful: i am not your friend

foxy lady: wow rude

michael angelo: what saving paris together doesnt make us friends?

beeutiful: as if!! being my friend is a privilege it’s like getting access to an exclusive club

foxy lady: soooooooooooo u dont have many friends then

beeutiful: fuck you i have plenty of friends

:3: Children please Ladybug is literally going to have my head

michael angelo: broski you were talking wiht us earlier

:3: Yeah but I didn’t have her glare burning holes into my soul the entire time

foxy lady: UR!!!!!!!!WITH LADYBUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:3: Yeah of course I’m with Ladybug?

beeutiful: and why exactly were we not invited??

:3: Parents need alone time sometimes

michael angelo: oh my god

foxy lady: #rude #betrayal #urnotmyrealdad #ettuchatnoir #whentheydontloveuback

beeutiful: stop before i hunt you down and stop you myself

foxy lady: #fucku

michael angelo: question is lb seriously that annoyed

:3: She’s not thrilled Hmmm how to Got it

:3 has sent a photo [selfie of Chat Noir smiling and holding up a peace sign with an unamused Ladybug in the background]

michael angelo: well thats a look i never want to face head on

foxy lady: rip u id face it down if it meant i got to spend more time w ladybug

beeutiful: fangirl much

foxy lady: oh shut up i kno ur the same

beeutiful: oh do you????

foxy lady: ummm yeaH i remember our first day do u

beeutiful: shit

michael angelo: i like to block most of that day from my memories

beeutiful: no one asked you shellhead

:3: Children please Wait really?

michael angelo: ehhh i mean it was really cool and life changing and all that shit but also i embarrassed myself in front of two of the most awesome people ever so yeah

beeutiful: kiss up

michael angelo: listen my dude i was not ready to be a superhero before this the most exercise i got was climbing the stairs to my apartment and the occasional run from akumas

Ladybug: To be fair Chat and I werent ready either

foxy lady: !!!!!!!!!! she speaks!!! ok but ive been prepping to b a superhero since i was like 4

beeutiful: same actually

:3: I watched way too much Sailor Moon not to be ready But I still wasn’t ready Lots of face planting

Ladybug: It gets easier and you have chat and I for help You dont have to figure this all out on your owns

:3: True Doing it by ourselves was unfurrtunate

beeutiful: moment ruined

foxy lady: im tearing up thank u i feel loved

michael angelo: ok so who wants to teach me tricks to get out of class and work for akuma attacks because bru h

:3: Uhhhh

Ladybug: Um

:3: You’re on your own good luck

beeutiful: wow you’re a great mentor we’re so lucky to have you

Ladybug: Be creative in your lies and dont repeat the same ones too often??? But also dont get too extravagant because then its a mess and gets out of hand Now stop messaging here its annoying!!!!!!!!!!!

 19:03

:3: Does anyone have cheese?

Ladybug: Chat if this isnt relevant I will end you

:3: I swear it is!

beeutiful: umm yes why??

:3: I need some We’re out and I didn’t realize Could you meet me somewhere with it?

beeutiful: i guess if it’s that important? what kind

:3: It is that important Anything If you have camembert that But anything

michael angelo: how is this relevant

:3: Grumpy hungry kwami

beeutiful: i have camembert how do you not have food for your kwami?

:3: It’s been a long week sue me Tower in ten?

beeutiful: i can’t believe i’m doing this but yes you owe me whiskers

 19:11

foxy lady: thisll be the weirdest brush contact paris has ever seen

[starlingsrps]

sarah dorsey.

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: sarah jean dorsey

REASONING: not especially

NICKNAME(S): spooky sarah. yes, she knows.

PREFERRED NAME(S): sarah is fine

BIRTH DATE: january 15, 1986

AGE: thirty four

ZODIAC: capricorn

GENDER: female

PRONOUNS: she/her

SEXUAL/ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: heterosexual/romantic

NATIONALITY: american

ETHNICITY: caucausian

CURRENT LOCATION: washington, d.c. - georgetown technically but it's just easier to say d.c.

LIVING CONDITIONS: tidy clutter. sarah knows where everything is at all times, even if it doesn't always look like it. she has not moved since she moved into this apartment to start her master's. it's been twelve years. she will die here.

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: eureka, ca

HOMETOWN: same

SOCIAL CLASS: middle

EDUCATION LEVEL: b.a. psychology, yale; masters in psychology from georgetown; quantico

FATHER: rick dorsey, 63, radio dj

MOTHER: ellen dorsey, 60, hair stylist

SIBLING(S): maggie, presumed dead; aaron, 27

BIRTH ORDER: oldest

CHILDREN: sweet jesus christ no.

PET: does her ficus count?

OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: her grandmother; various aunts/uncles/cousins

RELATIONSHIP WITH FAMILY: like, she's got people but she's awful at keeping in touch. time flies and suddenly it's been a month since she called her mother. maggie, her sister, was her closet familial relationship - they were only a year apart in age. she disappeared when sarah was a sophomore at yale and was declared legally dead a year later, a fact sarah still can't really accept because it can't be as simple as that she disappeared, it just can't be.

PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: like yeah but it's.....it's easier to say that it's been awhile.

CURRENT RELATIONSHIP: no.

O

CCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: fbi agent

CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB?: 95% of the time. 5% of the time, someone's fucking with her stuff or she wants to live alone in a cabin somewhere where no one will fuck with her stuff.

PAST JOB(S): i mean, she's been in different departments but if it wasn't academic or babysitting, she's not done a whole lot.

SPENDING HABITS: reasonable - she spends a bit more on clothes than she'd like but she's tiny and she's gotta tailor a lot of pants.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: she's sturdy and can move because her job demands so but she's not pumping iron by any means.

SPEED: surprisingly fast - she sprinted in high school and college and can be hella quick.

INTELLIGENCE: yeah, little bit.

ACCURACY: dead on

AGILITY: p good

STAMINA: endless

TEAMWORK: good! she's not Fantastic at taking the lead and kind of has to be nudged into it when necessary. her voice shakes a little bit and it takes her a second but she is capable of leadership positions - she's just forgotten a tiny bit how to.

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: fluently? english and spanish. not-so fluently would be arabic and mandarin. she also knows elvish but that's classified.

DRIVE?: legally, technically? sure and did happily until she moved to washington. one time on the beltway though and she refused to ever drive again.

JUMP-STAR A CAR?: nope

CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: nope

RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes

SWIM?: yes

PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: she grew up playing flute but fuck her if she knows where it is in the bottomless pit that is her apartment.

PLAY CHESS?: yes

BRAID HAIR?: yep

TIE A TIE?: yes

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: anna kendrick

EYE COLOR: blue

HAIR COLOR: brown

HAIR TYPE/STYLE: long, sort of wavy. she cuts it herself.

GLASSES/CONTACTS?: reading glasses

DOMINANT HAND: left

HEIGHT: 5'2

BUILD: petite. bird shoulders, just negative shoulders.

EXERCISE HABITS: three times a week, mostly just to make sure she can pass the physical portion of her job.

SKIN TONE: fair

TATTOOS: nah

PIERCINGS: ears

MARKS/SCARS: freckled in the summer, a crescent moon on her left knee from a massive bike wipeout when she was a kid. she saw BONE.

NOTABLE FEATURES: sharp chin, expressive face. she's not good at hiding her emotions at all.

USUAL EXPRESSION: the opposite of a poker face. catch peter looking stoic af and sarah like o.O

CLOTHING STYLE: suits and blazers and professional lady things for work. leggings and a giant shirt otherwise. comfort is key.

JEWELRY: a watch is about it.

ALLERGIES: almonds

DIET: reasonable, prone to eating many snacks instead of eating an actual meal.

PSYCHOLOGY

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good

TEMPERAMENT: melancholic

MBTI: INFP

MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: like a sprinkle of ocd. she's not crazy, contrary to popular belief.

SOCIABILITY: introvert

EMOTIONAL STABILITY: she gets in her feelings real quick.

PHOBIA(S): drowning and horses

ADDICTION(S): nah

DRUG USE: ehhhh nah

ALCOHOL USE: sure

PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: not at all - she really doesn’t like that she has to carry a gun.

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: bubbly, a little higher than she'd like naturally. she lowers it a dab when speaking to people she needs to impress.

ACCENT: not really?

HOBBIES: research can be a hobby.

NERVOUS TICKS: oh boy. A Lot. she's always fussing with her fingernails and tugging at her cuffs. she wrinkles her nose a lot while thinking and needs to have a snack on her at all times.

DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: The Truth.

POSITIVE TRAITS: open minded, caring, creative, organized, generous,

NEGATIVE TRAITS: impractical, suspicious, stubborn, easily stressed, obsessive

SENSE OF HUMOR: sly - little sarcastic. she’ll drag a bitch for a country mile.

DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: when she probably shouldn't

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: going to the movies, google spirals

ANIMAL: foxes

BEVERAGE: coffee

BOOK: a people's history of the united states, anything that involves a lot of lists of things. mostly lord of the rings. it's her life's blood.

MOVIE: lord of the rings, extended editions only.

COLOR: green

FOOD: cereal

FLOWER: daisies

GEM: diamond

HOLIDAY: halloween

MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: being driven

MUSICAL ARTIST: ehhh whatever and whoever is okay fine - music's kind of background noise and she'd rather a movie.

SONG: eh.

SCENERY: a well organized bulletin board

SCENT: books

SPORT: surprisingly into basketball - she likes numbers and data.

SPORTS TEAM: whoever the underdog is

TELEVISION SHOW: nope. movie.

WEATHER: winter just because

VACATION DESTINATION: that assumes she doesn't have to be forcibly removed from her office for any kind of time off.

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: finding her sister, proving the existence of aliens, being responsible enough to get a cat.

GREATEST FEAR: that her sister really isn't out there somewhere

MOST AT EASE WHEN: when she's being heard and understood; watching lord of the rings

LEAST AT EASE WHEN: she really doesn't like being called spooky sarah at all. she can be very self conscious at times.

BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: her degrees - she's very proud of her academic career and now and then wishes she hadn't heard the song of justice and the bureau.

BIGGEST REGRET: the bureau, once in awhile.

TOP PRIORITIES: truth, justice, and cleaning her bathroom.

[asundizzay]

DRAFT BOX: FOTO FAIL FRIDAY: FROMANCE.

I wanted to take the non-traditional route in approaching this belated Valentine’s Day post by ignoring the standard conglomeration of hearts & love, and photographing nouns that relate to some of my favorite rom-coms/rom-drams/rom-com-drams, because i’m a low-key sucker for sappy things (cheesy). I was out all day hoping to photo some movie thangs and nerds fighting the storm with their umbrellas, but nope, just got wind-slapped all around (stray branches included )–the rain didn’t start pouring until I got home because of course. 

* UPDATE (02/21): THIS IS NOW  A TBT OF A FOTOFAIL OF A COMMERCIAL HOLIDAY THAT HAPPENED ONE WEEK AGO LOL HOW. *

**UPDATE (02/22): LOL it’s Wednesday. But this is finally complete. #WhyNotWednesday **

500 Days of Summer ( 2009 )

Rachel Hansen: Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn’t mean she’s your soul mate.

Tom and Summer were two separately flawed characters whose bittersweet union was doomed from the start. For the longest time, I saw Summer as the b-word who carelessly wrecked Tom’s heart, when in reality, Tom’s insufferable sense of entitlement and manipulative nice guy complex subtly revealed that he’s actually kind of a jerk. Except for that whole dance number to Hall & Oates You Make My Dreams and showing Summer his favorite spot and drawing painstakingly detailed buildings on her arm. That was cute. Another thing that saved this film for me was presenting the nonlinear “boy meets girl” narrative in the dude’s perspective, forewarning the audience that this is not a love story, and allowing these two imperfect humans to individually see a happy ending: Summer marries someone she truly wants, with whom she shares a genuine connection,  and Tom is refreshingly presented another “season” to start anew, with someone potentially better suited for him. Additionally, a mind-blowing color theory visually demonstrates how these two were simply not made for each other, which can be found here.

cute score: 6 ( eh cute, JGL A 10 tho )

photo: Water Court at California Plaza on the upper level of  Tom’s favorite spot in Angels Knoll, Los Angeles, 2009. 

13 Going On 30 ( 2004 )

Matt: You can’t just turn back time.

Jenna: Why not?

In this essentially female version of Big, Jenna Rink’s 13 year-old self wishes to be thirty, flirty and thriving after some dudes and mean girls (which premiered the same year!) ruined her birthday party. On cue, magic dust spins her into an It’s A Wonderful Life-type alternate reality where she is living the dream as a rich, successful editor for her favorite fashion magazine. She reconnects with her childhood BFF, Matt, and they ultimately catch feelings faster than a winter cold. But aw dip, chocolate chip, Matt is hella engaged and about to be married, and now conflicted because Jenna has finally reciprocated his feels, but you know, commitment and whatever. A string of miscommunication and conflict occurs, then Jenna shows up to Matt’s wedding where he’s like, LOL, look  I’ve always loved you but the past can’t come back yo. Upon hearing this, she cries with intense regret, wishing she could just be 13 again for a do-over. The same magic dust gradually falls (for effect), and the scene reverts to her birthday party where she enthusiastically chooses Matt ( who grows up looking like Mark Ruffalo ) over the 80s cool kids, and their story ends all sweetly with the pair eating their favorite childhood candy on the lawn of a pink house, interestingly designed like her dream house, figuratively implying that her deepest wish has come true (or not). 

cute score: 8 ( hecka cute  the Thriller moment is still awkward for me tho and omg look Mark Ruffalo didn’t even want to do it lol click here )

photo: New York Public Library, setting for magazine’s ‘Class of 2004′ photoshoot, NYC, 2012

10 Things I Hate About You ( 1999 )

Patrick: Yeah, and is she worth all this trouble?

Cameron: Well, I thought she was, but you know, I…

Patrick: Well, she is or she isn’t. See first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. Go for it.

A modern take on Shakespeare’s  The Taming of the Shrew ( the numerous Shakespeare references / allusions make sense now )  introduces us to the Stratford sisters, their strict father with the winning punchlines, awkward Cameron with the sidekick BFF,  the “obligatory cool kid slash model” Joey, and resident bad ( bad bad bad ) boy, Patrick Verona doing bad boy things with a bunsen burner. So here’s the thing: Bianca really wants to date Joey but she can’t date anyone until her shrewd AF sister dates, which prompts her to set up the whole “this bet gets outta hand” premise that heavily spawned in 1999. Obvious villain Joey pays Patrick to win Kat’s heart and sing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You”  on the bleachers to win my heart, then he inevitably falls for her. In a callback to She’s All That, Kat eventually finds out about everything leading to the tearful read  of the eponymous (these are clearly over 10 things ) poem in class, as Patrick looks on like man I done fcuked up yo. But wait, he gets Kat the guitar she’s been wanting, insists that his feels for her are hella real and all is forgiven. Also, Cameron finally gets Bianca, and she punches Joey (whose nose spray ad is now ruined) thrice for herself, her sister and Yung Cameron. Oh yeah, and Cameron’s BFF ends up finding a Shakespeare lover just like him, lol, nerds. 

cute score: 9 ( super cute, everyone gets who they want and the real bad boy gets what he deserves! They had a band on the freakin’ roof dude )

photo: Fremont Troll, where Cameron and Bianca talk and stuff, Seattle, 2009

A Case of You / Comet ( 2013 / 2014 )

Birdie: Success is a myth. Love’s the only true currency. After all this is done, all that really matters is how and who you loved.

———–

Dell: Why does it feel so impossible to let you go?

Dell: It’s an addiction, you know. That’s all it is.

Dell: It’s a biochemical addiction. It’s so stupid.

Dell: If you think about it relationships are all totally narcissistic.

Dell: Basically, you’re just looking for someone who’ll love you as much as you love yourself. That’s all it is.

———–

Two Justin Long movies for the price of fun. 

I’ve probably checked off so much of this dude’s filmography that I can easily tell you that one of his many underrated roles would be a cameo as George Harrison in the equally underappreciated Walk Hard: A Dewey Cox Story. I know… comedy is understandably the toughest genre to press onto humans, so to each his own. These two films fall in that hit or miss category–on one end, you have Sam, an author who meets a barista and quickly becomes infatuated with her, even more so after creeping reading her Facebook profile and mimicking those interests in order to attract her attention, eventually using her as a muse for his story ( A Case Of You ),  and on the other, you have Dell and Kim caught in a classic case of star-crossed lovers whose rocky relationship is dreamily depicted through a non-linear narrative of parallel universes, reminiscent of Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind  ( Comet ). Despite his ridiculous Facebook faux pas, Birdie admits that she was adding  random items to her profile to see if Sam would change, and to no one’s surprise, she still liked him anyway because if a connection is real then it’s real, and it’s extremely important, to like, just be yourself because there’s more to a person than what they choose to display on the Interwebz. And Dell and Kim continue to sail through different universes, with Dell wishing to live in a permanent world where they end up together 💔. 

cute score: 3  ( So much fighting–whether with oneself, another person, or the world, das not dat cute. ). 

photo: Light trails, space, and time to represent chaotic nature of the parallel universes in Comet, NYC, 2015 

Begin Again  ( 2013 )

Dan: You can tell a lot about a person by what’s on their playlist.

Greta: I know you can. That’s what’s worrying me.

I’ll throw in Before We Go, Friends With Benefits, or even Lost In Translation into this mix of getting to know a person as you explore a new city together–whether platonically or romantically, it’s still awesome. This particular love story focuses on the protagonists’ mutual love for music rather than feelings towards each other–though their respectable relationships with his estranged wife and her ex-boyfriend still romanticize the plot. Dan Mulligan, a formerly successful record executive drunkenly discovers Gretta James, a newly independent songwriter reluctantly singing in a low-key bar thanks to pre-late late show James Corden. He sees great potential, she doesn’t believe in herself, I mean how could she, her ex-boyfriend slash songwriting partner is none other than recent singing sensation, AdamN Levine Dave Kohl. After Dan’s business partner Yasiin Bae/Yasiin Bey/Mos Def   Saul initially rejects Gretta from their record label, the pair take matters into their own hands and decide to produce their own album together, using local talented musicians backed by the sights and sounds of New York City and the result is pure magic like fireworks in your ears, the visual “wow that’s so glorious” part not the actual “boom boom” noise part, because you would totally go deaf. This is a story about how music can bring people together (production, collaboration, Dan reconciling with his wife ) or tear them apart ( Dave cheating on Greta ), seek forgiveness ( Dave singing Lost Stars, Don Henley singing The Heart of The Matter [not in this movie, that song just popped up in my head as I wrote that lol] ), or drive passion ( Violet dreams of becoming a guitarist/ Gretta’s career kicking off ). Music is love, music is life, and Gretta’s album sells hella copies from its online release, and things are looking up for Dan and his life. Dan in real life. After encountering a series of failures/contemplating suicide, discovering Gretta, producing this album, and making amends with Saul, his wife and daughter, I guess you can say that Dan (as well as Gretta? ) was given another chance to fairly begin…again. 

cute score: 7 (  Dan drunkenly composing a song in his head, The headphone splitter scene tho, das kinda cute )

photo: Times Square, the scene stealer of the headphone splitter scene tho, NYC, 2012

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ( 2004 )

Clementine: Meet me in Montauk. 

It’s 3:41 AM and my body hates me. Especially my eyes.  Okay, so two contrasting personalities, Joel and Clementine, meet on a train and immediately connect like 4, only to learn that they are former lovers and Clementine had erased her memories of Joel after some petty argument, and Joel’s like ‘wtf bro’ and decides to erase his memories of her. The familiar surrealistic non-linear narrative that I heart so hard navigates through Joel’s head space, intercut between scenes of sadness and anger,  to happier times until the final memory where everything crumbles to the ground like dust in the wind, as he tries to hold onto his last moment with Clementine, after realizing that he still loves her. Other story lines, connect, Kirsten Dunst finds out she had her memory of the doctor erased and she gets mad upset, like ‘i’m gonna show everyone (who has undergone this procedure) their memory erasure records’ upset.  Elijah Wood is just super devious. COTDAMN MARK RUFFALO IS ALSO IN THIS MOVIE LOL WTF YO. The scene restarts and Joel and Clementine, meet on a train and immediately connect like 4, only to learn that they are former lovers and they’re like “oh whaa” and think that maybe starting over would be a good idea or it might be the same but they go for it anyway and who knows what those two are up to now probably making sure that they don’t forget about each other amirite lol omg it’s already 4. 

cute score: 2 ( Comet before comet was comet, not dat cute, but like Comet, beautiful cinematography is a 10)

photo: Imagine this human’s hair is orange, you know, like Clementine, ArtWalk, San Diego, 2014

——–

honorable mentions: Garden State. Ryan Gosling & Ryan Reynolds’ things. Scott Pilgrim Vs The World. High Fidelity. Say Anything. John Hughes’ things.