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geodetojoy · 5 months ago

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ALRIGHTY i am no longer busy so heres my full thoughts on Newsies :DDD

tagging @royallygray and @mysteriouswolf if yall wanna read :D

ok this shit got LONG so the rest is under the cut

GOD where do I even start its beautiful its wonderful its emotional i love it so much

Ill try not to copy my intermission thoughts too much (if you havent seen those here they are)

Ok lets talk about the history of it. A quick google search says its based on a strike in 1899, and Roosevelt ran for presidency in 1901, so we'll just say the musical takes place in 1899 too (correct me if theres a different confirmed time).

During this time, work conditions are absolute shit, monopolies and trusts are on the rise, and the concept of a union has recently emerged. I really didnt need to say much of this bc its apparent in the musical, but i love historically accurate stuff so deal with it /lh

And in the musical we see the beginnings of Roosevelt's trust-busting and ideas of social equality that he acts on during his presidency (it also kinda ties into his environmentalism stuff a bit too!)

And after reading up a bit on the strike the musical was based on, a lot of the effects of the strike in the musical were historically accurate too! the newsboys could sell back papers they werent able to sell on the streets, but the price was unfortunately not yet lowered. (also, the names of the publishers in the show are historically accurate as well!!! makes my little history brain happy :DDD )

SO whats the point of all of my rambling here?

people make historical art all of the time. we see it in musicals like Annie, Hamilton, and so so many more. obviously this goes beyond musicals here, but since newsies is a musical ill try to stay with that topic.

anyway, we learn about history to learn from it. we see these past issues that our previous generations struggled with, in these art forms as to be easily digestible, and we discover their solutions. we get to see the humanity behind the issues and the conflicts they faced to overcome them. and ofc its not the only reason, but one reason these stories are told with art is to bring attention to them. people are way more likely to listen to music than study a historical textbook. so, they make it entertaining. they make relatable and lovable characters. they make people care about the show and subsequently the issue itself. all of this is to explain how and why things that happened in history are bad as to never repeat them again.

We see these topics of worker mistreatment, corrupt businesses, child labor, gender/sex inequality, and the class separation all brought to the spotlight in this show, and it does a damn good job of showing the pain and suffering they cause. the story of this show is incredible and so very important to learn about.

OK now onto the actual musical itself im done nerding out

ive done a lot of charater analysis already in that intermission post bUT WHO SAYS I CANT DO MORE HAHA

im saving jack for last bc theres so much to unpack there

KATHERINE MY LOVE <3333

Everything about her being a girlboss absolutely remains the same shes INCREDIBLE

and holy shit PULITZER'S HER DAD???? i love her even more. she directly ran away from an easy life to follow her own dreams and pursue her own passion from scratch. incredible. inspiring. mwah

i also just love her personality. shes so bubbly and happy and passionate and bright and optomistic shes the best <3

oh god crutchie. hes absolutely my favorite btw im sorry everyone else i adore him <33333

GOD his prison song actually killed me. im fully dead. deceased.

THE NEWSIES ARE SUCH A FAMILY GAHHH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH RAHHHH

the sheer ecstasy i felt when he came back and hit Snyder with his cane i could not stop stimming MY BOYYYY

the absolute definition of sunshine character. he sees everything as glass half full and wants just the brightest future he deserves the absolute world

and ik i talked about it earlier but i adore how they take such a neutral opinion about his leg. people give him shit for it, and his brother beat them to a pulp. its just a part of him and they love his whole being, so why would they not love that about him too?

Les only got better as the show went on. i thought he was a smartass before LMAOO

AND THE DATE BIT??? WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM???? AND IT JUST NEVER GETS BROUGHT UP AGAIN LMAO WHAT

i think the biggest change i felt towards a character was Davey

he grew on me soooooo much his character growth is everything to me

he went from trying to stay out of their business to teaching them what a union was to helping them start it to running it himself when jack ran off to convincing jack to come back when times got tough he is sooo important to the story

and to me. hes important to me <3

OH AND RACE

i saw people mention the name before but i didnt know which he was until they addressed him directly I LOVE THAT GUYYY

especially in king of new york hes got such a big personality what a silly guy

OK now for the guy the silly the mc jack

At the beginning he is entirely driven by both his love for his family and ofc his dream of living in Santa Fe, but atm hes just trying to get by so hes more focused on the newsies. but a boy can dream

then he gets all caught up in the strike business and only focuses on that for a while bc he wants to protect his boys

then shit goes south. they get essentially jumped, and crutchie gets hurt and arrested.

and he thinks, what was it all for? if he couldnt protect his brother (never living that down btw), whats the point of even trying to strike anymore

so he changes his focus back to santa fe. the one thing hes still got going for him.

and he gets confronted by katherine, les, and davey, and they knock some sense into him. stopping the strike isnt going to take away any of the harm done. the danger is expected, theres no way any of this could go down without some form of a casualty. so why not try to do something about it. the only way to make this situation better is to get back in the game and keep pushing for change.

and ofc the thing with katherine which ill talk abt a bit more later

in all of this, something in him changes. he dreamed of santa fe, a simpler life, one where he didnt have to worry about having to afford food and clothing for the next day.

but what he never considered was the loneliness. sure, he offered to bring crutchie and katherine with him, but hed be leaving behind so many more. and thats when he realized he never needed to get out, he just needed things to change a bit. and they did! because of the strike, living became so much more affordable. no it wasnt perfect, but it was enough to be safe and secure, just like he wanted. and he had his family beside him the whole time.

ill admit that before i sat and thought about it for a while, this ending was really unsatisfactory to me. i mean we got how many santa fe reprises? all for naught?

but in reality, santa fe would never be enough for him. hes just so used to this life surrounded by the people he cares most about and doing everything in his power to protect him, hed just be so bored, so understimulated, and hed just continue to yearn for more. that path of wanting would never come to a conclusion and hed live his life never truly being happy. so i really do thing he made the right choice in staying, because new york became his santa fe. he didnt need to seek it out, it came to him.

Ok now with him and katherine

ill start by saying i do really adore them. i feel like a lot of what im about to say might seem like i think otherwise, but i truly do think theyre very sweet

ok so every interaction of theirs in act one was. very uncomfortable to say the least. he honestly seemed really predatory at times and it just really felt like an old-timey romance where the girl doesnt know her worth so she flocks to any guy that shows interest in hr bc she thinks its her only purpose

now obviously that is NOT the truth, those were just my first impressions. Katherine is extremely capable of taking care of herself and deciding what is and isnt right for her, she likes jack purely because she can and does. she knows her worth and just likes him bc she likes him, no strings attached

i will say the first kiss kinda caught me off guard lmao. like i knew they were gonna be a thing but that is NOT how i expected that to go down. its likely just bc of my aroace-ness but i saw no sign of them actually getting together prior to that, aside from them being the main man and leading lady in the show so ofc they have to be together. i mean ig her reaction to him drawing her was a bit of a hint but still. ok maybe its just bc im demi. hadnt thought abt that until now. damn. is this a normal thing? maybe it is. maybe im being too harsh. idk lmao

anyway ill admit the kiss was successful in getting his attention and getting him to listen to her so ill give it that lmaoo but tbh i did tune a bit of their song out bc it started to make me a bit uncomfy but i did liste back to it later on. they really seem to have a healthy relationship where they both care about the other and know the other is strong enough on their own, they just both want to be a part of the other's life. its really sweet! theyre so supportive of each other!!! green flags all around!!!

the bit with him learning shes pulitzers daughter was really interesting to me. at first she tries to talk to him but he kinda brushes her off, but from then on he just kinda has full faith in her? i mean yeah he gets upset about it bc he thinks she lied to him, but i dont think he thought she had any ill intentions. that was a complicated sentence lmaoo damn. i think he really understood that she wanted to help, he was just caught up in a lot of Feelings and was afraid that she wasnt trustworthy despite him still trusting her. and then he let her explain and from then on they fully support the other and trust each other immensely

so yeah first impressions were a bit iffy but i think theyre very sweet <333

OK GOD CAN I GUSH ABOUT THE STAGE DESIGN FOR A BIT???? GAHHH

i mean the moving stairs and scaffolding arent new. i know this. but just the way they frame scenes with the scaffolding is stunning. the chase scenes??? dude. enthralling. the bits where theyre in the city and they have people just up their acting like civilians? SO cool. makes it incredibly more realistic and believable. and the way they projected images onto the curtain-like things they pulled down was extremely creative!!! like in theory its such a simple design. it was literally nothing more than the scaffolding and stairs, and a few tables and wagons and such in certain areas. but they did SO much with it it was hard to believe it took place on a stage. ofc the filming helps with that but still. the start felt like it was on the roof of the building bc of a combination of the lighting and the use of just one of the scaffolding pieces. and when theyre in buildings, the wall of scaffolding works really well as a backdrop!!! and i already talked about the city street scenes, it fits perfectly. god its so inspiring id love to be behind something like that one day

OK AND THE CHOREO??? the sheer ENDURANCE of these people HOLY I COULD NEVER. THE FLEXIBILITY? THEYRE ALL LITERAL GYMNASTS WTF ARE THESE FLIPS AND HANDSTANDS IM SORRY???? holy shit its all SOSOSO impressive

oh my god i havent even talked about the MUSIC yet

if i had to choose a favorite song, a, i would punch whoever told me that in the face, and b, i would simply combust bc i cant choose just one

my top three tho would have to be between king of new york, carrying the banner, and crutchies prison song (idk the name its not on spotify :'((((( ) in no particular order

i havent had them on repeat enough to have any memorized, but i did remember santa fe, carrying the banner, and the world will know from the last time i watched it and i belted along to all the parts i knew this music is so good at hyping me up I WANNA START A UNION

and oh my god katherines voice???? stunning. her song is sooooo good. her part in king of new york is incredible. i love her <3

jesus christ this post got out of control. im still not done lmaooo

ok one thing that really has nothing to do with the musical itself is just the fact that it reminded me of so many other musicals ive seen at specific parts, even some of the songs sound like others i know.

Santa Fe really reminds me of Maybe from Annie, both music-wise and lyric wise. i mean theyre both "i want" songs so it makes sense but i feel like they sound kinda similar too. honestly a lot of the music sounds like Annie, but maybe its just the types of instruments used and thats just how musicals sounded when they were made. i think they were made about the same time. *checks spotify* ok well the newsies i listen to was produced like 40 years after Annie so maybe that just a stylistic choice-

idk why but the beginning of watch what happens sounds like the intro to reginas speaking part in meet the plastics lmao-

oh and brooklyn's here has the same beat as the military from Seussical but thats just bc its a marching song lmao. its also the same beat as the spanish alphabet song my spanish teacher used to use!

ok and this one really doesnt make sense but something to believe in reminds me of the power in me from Twisted lmao- kinda similar message ig? and sound vaguely similar? but idk it really doesnt make too much sense

i should. i should sum it up. this is getting out of hand.

okay i love this musical sm. clearly. do you see how long this post is. i was missing out when i refused to listen to it previously. oh my god.

and for some reason it really makes me wanna go watch my favorite musical so im ending this here TO YOUTUBE I GOOOOO TY FOR READING IF YOU DID AND TY TO ROYAL FOR UNINTENTIONALLY PUSHING ME TO WATCH THIS HAVE A GREAT DAYYYY

#newsies #yeah i think i enjoyed it a little bit #idk tho maybe i should write some more about it /silly

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mfemyuri · 2 years ago

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akikasa fic recs part 3

Hope everyone’s year is Going Great (mine is Not)

i don't want to pick the moon (i want the moon to come to me) | PAIRING: RUI/TSUKASA, MIZUKI/ENA, AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: "tsukasa thought that if he remained by rui's side and loved him, that one day rui would come to love him too. but rui already stopped his gaze on somebody, and that person was the brightest star tsukasa had ever laid his eyes on." | WARNINGS: Super Sad but we Get AkiKasa at the End L Rui Another W for AkiKasa | FINISHED | this is Mainly RuiKasa BUT THERE IS AKKS IN CHAP 2!!

a small tumble with a large concussion | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: "“oh, nothing.” she waved him off, before continuing. “akito always acted like this when he was younger, he always got clingy after an injury, no matter the size.” that’s.. actually really cute. ..as in!! really cute for his sister to remember that, obviously!! or, the sports festival race between mizuki and akito goes a little bit differently." | WARNINGS: Nothing Major, Mentions of Injuries tho! CLINGY AKITO EVERYONE CLINGY AKITO I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! | FINISHED ONE-SHOT

this is like one of my sister's shoujo mangas but like, worse | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: "akito has a weird dream involving tsukasa and then he spiritually dies" | WARNINGS: Akito is a LOSER for his bf! | FINISHED

Shooting Star | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: "“This is bad, isn’t it? Akito just groaned at the idea of cheesecake.” “Tsukasa-senpai would often bring him cheesecake for lunch.” “Ah. That explains that.” “No it doesn’t.” or; Akito confesses and it doesn’t go as planned. For the most part, at least." | WARNINGS: sick sick stupid FLUFF! Kinda Slowburn but other than that theres Really Nothing | FINISHED

piano akikasa | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: "He’s seen 𝘛𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘢𝘴𝘢 play the piano before - but that was different. That was when he was onstage. Regardless, he’s already passed him, therefore making it officially none of his business. The moment he hears Tsukasa play the piano, however, it felt like the wind was effectively knocked out of his breath and - 𝘰𝘩, 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬. 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥?" (part 1) | WARNINGS: fics R Connected, you can Kinda read them on their Own but i Highly recommend you read from part 1-5 | SERIES

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: ""Akito, I-um. I'm sorry. I can't leave the office tonight." His lover's voice record begins. Not listening to the whole recording yet, but Akito feels like wants to cry. "And I even need to cancel other plans tomorrow. I- I was devastated. I'm sorry. I am the only one that could be in the office tonight and tomorrow. Everyone... Well, they left early. So, I need to cover up things. Please don't wait for me. I've called Saki and others to accompany you, though! Hope you had fun celebrating Christmas Eve with them. Love you, Akito. Merry C-" He shut down his phone. Tossed it back on the sofa where he picks. He grips his hand hard. Feeling betrayed. Because this is the third time Tsukasa do the same thing to him. It was the same day. Same scene. Same voice recording of regret and apologies. Akito could not help but feel so sad. He has arranged everything. The Christmas tree, the presents for Tsukasa, the feast he cooked." | WARNINGS: angst with a Happy Ending. Cried Tears of Joy | FINISHED

wonderlands (no more) showtime | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: "Tsukasa plans on leaving Wonderlands × Showtime. He just needs a little push to make up his mind." | WARNINGS: STABBING, Major Character Injury, Accidents, Blood scene | FINISHED

until we meet again! / colorful stage stories | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA, OTHER PAIRINGS AS WELL BUT MOSTLY AKKS | WARNINGS: Please look at the tags Before reading. This is a Series so there are Many fics and Some of my warnings will Not apply, so PLEASE look at each tag. also the First three fics are Connected i Cried fr ANON WHO ARE YOU I LOVE YOUR WRITING | SERIES

I said I love you, kitten. | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: "Tsukasa’s sister Kanade introduces him to the app she uses to communicate with her music circle, and comes across this ‘Chesecak🤤’ person, that he seemed to get along with. After a while, they grow very close and Tsukasa ends up becoming their Nightcord kitten. Chesecak🤤 seems to know everything about Tsukasa, but little did he know, Chesecak🤤 wasn’t just some random guy he found on Nightcord…" | WARNINGS: So Funny you will Cry FR!! it's actually Part of a Series where tsukasa is well. a Discord Kitten for diff charas.. | FINISHED

A Last Moment to Say (I Don't Want You to Leave) | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: "Fuck. Shinonome Akito is sitting in an alleyway, bleeding out. Fuck fuck fuck. His head is racing. It's hard to breathe. Everything hurts. Fuck, this was a mistake. Akito makes some stupid decisions and gets himself in load of trouble. Maybe more than he can handle." | WARNINGS: STAB WOUNDS, Major Character Injury, Major Character Death | FINISHED | did i Mention this Reminded me of that One yeetoldy art....iykyk

quiet nights alone | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: AkKs making out, author has stated this is not intended to sexualised them in the notes. ("‼️ I AM IN NO WAY SEXUALISING THESE CHARACTERS. I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SEXUALISING THEM. FOR ME, MAKING OUT IS NOT A SEXUAL ACT BUT IT MAY BE FOR SOME. THEY ARE NOT PERFORMING ANY SEXUAL ACTS IN THIS FIC ‼️") | WARNINGS: no warnings But fic is in Lowercase is that bothers you! this is Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual Making out. idk if i have to Say this Again but in No Way was this Intended to be sexual (if it was Why would i rec it) | FINISHED

ill pick you flowers while you count the hours | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: "Working as the town florist was not an easy job for Akito. Though, seeing the King on his shop’s doorstep was among the last things he had expected to happen to him. “W-Welcome. Let me know if there’s anything I can help with.” He isn’t normally this polite, what’s wrong with him?" | WARNINGS: Nothing Major but Unreliable narrator is that Bothers you | FINISHED

The Feeling Called Love | PAIRING: AKITO/TSUKASA | Summary: "Shinonome Akito, was now working as an Auto Memory Doll, who is a ghostwriter that helps people write letters. Tenma Tsukasa, needed a love letter as lyrics for the climax part of his new opera." | WARNINGS: Mentions of war/military & Minor Character death, dialogue heavy if that Bothers you | FINISHED | yeah Shameless self promo because i Want clout

AkiKasa fic recs pt.1 AkiKasa fic recs pt.2

#akikasa #shinonome akito #tenma tsukasa #akito x tsukasa

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ipegchangbin · 2 years ago

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I JUST FOUND THE MOST FANFIC EVER. EVERYONE CAN GO HOME. IVE DROOLED ENOUGH IN MY LIFE

the tags are literally containing my love for this fic so let me ramble in here (spoilers ahead)

the moment i read the warnings and realized that you wrote it, i just knew that this would be a good one. i said “NO WAY” out loud because i felt it in my system that it would be A Banger.

what i didnt expect was stumbling upon one of my favorite fics of all time.

you just…balance everything out so well. the smut is piping hot (I WILL GO INSANE IN A BIT), the bits of angst make me want to chuck my phone out the window in the best way possible, and the fluff is INCREDIBLY soft and warm and inviting. theres something about your writing thats just so good. its not unrefined, but its raw: the emotions are raw, the characters are so Real, BUT SOMEHOW, everything is also cooked together into this delicious full course meal that id eat up for breakfast lunch and dinner every day. how do you do it. HOW DO YOU DO IT.

changbin. bun, bunny changbin. oh god. im normal. i am so unbelievably normal (can you tell im a bad liar) hes just the prettiest, most patient, loveliest little guy. i love how hes just as reassuring as y/n!! its hard to find that the essence of trust flows both ways, so to have scenes of him assuring that he himself is fine and he too wants to check in on his s/o just. makes my heart flutter So Much. and the part where y/n tells him how gorgeous he is after fingerfucking his ass?? GOLDEN. i want to bite him so bad he just makes me FEEL SO MANY THINGSSS @.@

y/n themself is JUST AS LOVELY OH MY GOD. for once we have a soft dom whos realistic and im living for it !! theyre so considerate and patient, if anything theyre super keen on making the entire thing enjoyable on both ends. also can i just say that im actually SO GLAD y/n didnt need to finish as well in the end. idk i feel like that thing should be normalized, where doms/the other partner doesnt have to finish too whether it be a preference thing or in this case, the release is in the warmth of watching your partner get off. i loved that!!! im obsessed with it even !!! its like im seen :D

love is such a huge thing thats often difficult to capture in fics like these but you did it so well. trust, safety, intimacy, love…you nailed everything. nailed it as hard as y/n nailed the fuck out of changbin’s ass !!! cant be any prouder of you ^^

yk whats crazy…i read this in one go after completing my final exam in this one boring class. and oh god. im usually not on the receiving end of rewards but THIS WAS THE BEST REWARD EVER.

props to you nemu for making a pegging piece thats beyond just some hot sexy time. porn with lots of feelings just gets a lot of people going and im glad to see more of it, ESPECIALLYYYY from skilled writers like you. love it and im definitely reading this every night like a lil bedtime story ^_^

trust

pairing: seo changbin x gender neutral reader

genre: smut – MDNI

synopsis: changbin confesses something to you, hoping you'd forget the next day – but you don't resulting in taking action on his confession

warnings: smut, established relationship, soft dom reader, sub changbin, nipple play, anal play, anal training, toys used (butt plugs, strap-on), anal fingering, pegging, after care, traffic light system, safe words, pet names, mention of receiving nudes

words: 6.2k ~ (6249)

☆ m.list — ☆ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

love. it's a strong word that holds the same power and weight as the word hate. you never thought you could love someone, yet here you are contemplating on whether this foreign feeling is indeed love.

the person who is challenging said emotions is none other than seo changbin. you met by pure coincidence, falling for his charming looks and words. due to his physical appearance, people are quick to judge however, you know that he is just one big softie.

it was an accident, a stupid drunken accident. no matter what he said or did, he couldn't take back those words. changbin is a happy drunk, the type that laughs at everything and nothing. on top of that, he also overshares and oversharing, he did.

a glass in hand, you stare at him with a shocked expression. his cheeks slowly turning a deep red, his brain catching up with his mouth, registering what he just confessed to you

“i want to try a strap-on with you.”

he tried to back track, stumbling over his own words as he stared at your blank expression. once your own brain registered what your boyfriend just drunkenly confessed to you, did you calmly reassure him. you told him that you've both had a little too much to drink and that all of it will be forgotten in the morning

but it wasn't

you woke up and remembered everything. you look to the side, your sleeping boyfriend snoring away. lips parted and face puffy with sleep. dried up drool on his chin, his chest rising up and down slowly in time with his soft breathing.

you never thought of changbin as a switch or a sub for that matter. he always had the dominant aura about him and he knows how to dominate you, that much is very true. maybe it's his physic that made you prejudge. he is a buff, strong man after all so you instantly thought of him as the type who likes to dominate and not the other way around.

but with the drunken confession, now you're questioning. is he a switch? a sub? why does he want to try a strap-on with you? what other stuff does he want to try with you and how long has he wanted to do this?

you want to ask him but you're worried that it might be overstepping the mark. maybe it's best if you wait until he is ready or until he mentions it again. let him come to you when he's confident.

in the meantime, you decide to prepare. you've never done anything like this before so all of it is new territory to you. you want to please your significant other, make him feel comfortable. you researched every single website, expanding your knowledge on this particular type of stuff.

you secretly bought the necessities, things that would make changbin feel at ease. you asked the owners of the sex shops you shopped at for tips and tricks, making a mental note of everything they said as well as researching on forums and watching videos.

you learnt about preparation, how to be gentle. you don't want to cause any harm to him down there so it's important that he prepares himself; especially if he wants to be fucked by you.

one thing that was bugging you, is that you wasn't sure how changbin wants to do it. normally, people envision it, they know how and when they want to do, but considering you've been pretending to have ‘forgotten’ what he admitted to you to save him the embarrassment, bringing it up in a casual conversation just didn't feel right.

until he found your secret stash.

you thought you hid it away so perfectly. in a box tucked away at the bottom of your wardrobe with piles of clothing and shoes on top to make it look ‘natural’; until you walked into your bedroom to find a wide-eyed, red cheeked changbin on his knees, the box open and the plugs in his hands.

“binnie..” you whisper, chewing your lip. he looks up at you, his mouth agape. the words stuck in his throat as he gives you short rapid blinks. you swallow thickly, the air between you both thick with tension.

“these are–” he starts, looking back down at the toys before clearing his throat free from the lump “these are for you, right?”

“uh, no baby. they're not.” you mumble, approaching him slowly. you kneel beside him, his eyes scanning the contents of the box.

plugs, lube, strap-on, bits of paper with notes about preparation and aftercare scribbled on them.

“then who?” he asks, looking at you with his doe eyes

“you.” you gently take the plugs from his clammy hands to place your own hands on top of his.

“me?” he whispers, still shocked from all this new information. it's clear he doesn't remember that night where he confessed.

you take a deep breath in, intertwining your fingers into his. your own hands slowly turn clammy, heart beating against your rib cage.

“do you remember a few nights ago, when we went out?”

“yeah. minho invited us over for a small party. i remember waking up with a terrible hangover.” he chuckles as do you

“well, you got drunk and confessed something to me.”

“what..?”

“that you wanted to try a strap-on with me.” changbin's eyes widen in horror. he swallows thickly, looking back down at the box. “im sorry bun. i remembered everything you said and so, i went out and bought all this for us–for you as well as research on it to make sure i cause no harm to you.”

you press your lips together in a thin line. a sudden wave of guilt and anxiety washes over you as you watch your lover scan each and every object you've bought. after what felt like hours of radio silence, you asked the one question you thought you'd never have to ask.

“do you hate me..?” changbin's head spins in your direction, his features softening as his eyes rest upon your worried expressions. a few tears fall down your cheeks, taking you both by surprise.

“hey.” changbin says softly, “why are you crying darling?” the pad of his thumb swipes across your cheek, collecting the tears.

“i don't, i don't know. did i overstep? i should have asked you first, gone shopping with you instead of doing it all behind your back.” you choke out, chest slightly heaving. “please don't hate me. i'm sorry.”

changbin hushes your sobs by pressing his lips against your gently. you whimper softly, clinging onto his t-shirt as you move your lips with his, feeling them mold and move together in perfect harmony.

changbin rakes his fingers through your hair slowly before stroking your cheeks, stroking away the stray tears.

“i could never, ever hate you yn. i love and adore you so much.”

“but–” you choke out, hiccuping your words only for them to be silenced once again with the feeling of changbin's soft lips.

“shh. i don't hate you nor am i mad. there isn't anyone else in this world that i'd trust more than you to do this to me, for me.” you sniffle, wiping away your tears as your worries and anxiety get washed away in an instant.

“are you sure?” changbin nods. “a thousand percent?”

“a million percent. now–” changbin turns his attention back to the box, picking up your hand written notes “what do i need to do?”

you explain to changbin what needs to be done, his full attention on you as he listens carefully to what you've researched on the internet. whilst listening, his cheeks hold a nice, pink colour. thoughts swimming through his mind as he becomes excited with nerves and anticipation.

“i bought you a starter set. so this–” you say, taking out the smallest butt plug. “is the smallest. we just have to train you and get you used to it before we go onto the bigger stuff.”

“o-ok.” changbin whispers. you tilt your head to the side, feeling and noticing some tension from your bun.

“hey.” you put the plug down to hold his hands gently in yours “are you ok bub? we don't have to do this right now. we can do it some other time, when you're ready.”

“it's not that i'm not ready…”

“then what is it bun?”

“i'm just, nervous. i've thought of this so many times, watched so many porn videos related to this and i'm finally getting to do it with the person i love. i'm excited as fuck but also so nervous.”

“that's good bun! i promise, i will take good care of you.” you softly speak, brushing your thumb across his flush cheeks. he hums softly, eyes fluttering shut as he leans into your touch.

“yn..”

“mhm?” you watch his eyes slowly flutter open, tongue darting out to lick his dry lips.

“can we.. yknow..” he shuffles on the spot awkwardly and shyly, fingers twiddling and picking at his hoodie sleeves.

“tell me baby. tell me what's on your mind.” you place your hand on top of his in an attempt to soothe his worries.

“can we start now? like.. training and stuff..” his voice trails off until it's nothing but a soft and gentle squeak. you smile softly, nodding before planting your lips on his in a soft and soothing peck on the lips.

“are you sure you want to do this now?”

“yes.” changbin says with the utmost confidence. “i trust you.”

your heart swells at his words and the fact that he is trusting of you to do something like this. you hold his hand gently as you explain what needs to be done, explaining the preparation in order to make this a pleasurable experience for him. all the while, he listens carefully, soaking up all the information as his brows furrow together in concentration.

“and don't worry if you don't feel prepared enough in the shower, i can do that for you as well.”

“ok so that's all i have to do?” you nod, humming.

“yup. i can do the rest if needed. i think i bought everything for it. at least, i hope so.”

“then, i will go shower and yeah..” changbin flushes pink, rising to his feet. you watch, watch as he turns his back to you and rush off to the bathroom, locking the door. you giggle to yourself, changbin's demeanour screaming shy and awkward but that's to be expected.

you hear the shower turning on, giving you cue to set everything out on the bed. you grab a few hand towels and t-shirts, things you don't mind getting dirty because they need washing anyways.

you lay the towels on the bed, grabbing the smallest butt plug and lube. you place them on the bedside table, reading your notes over and over again as you nervously wait for your lover.

moments later, he returns. a towel around his lower half, body glistening with water as water drips from the tips of his curls. his cheeks are red, either from how warm the shower was or the fact that he is currently feeling shy and embarrassed.

he slowly walks to you, glancing at the layout you've set. you look up at him, giving him a warm and gentle smile to hopefully soothe his nerves before patting the mattress beside you as an indication for him to sit; which he does.

“are you sure, bun?” you ask for the nth time. he looks at you, nodding his head slowly as he chews his bottom lip.

“i'm sure. just.. nervous, that's all.” he shakily laughs. you hum, lacing your fingers with his.

“i understand bun. we take it slow, yeah? don't be afraid to be vocal. tell me how you feel, what feels good and what doesn't feel good. if it hurts, tell me. if you're uncomfortable, tell me. don't be afraid to use your safe word.” changbin nods slowly, loving how considerate and caring you sound.

“speaking of safe words, do you remember yours?”

“bunny. your nickname for me.”

“good. don't be afraid to also use the traffic lights system. get used to me asking for your colour, ok?”

“ok.” he swallows, “yn. are you nervous too?” you chuckle softly, changbin has clearly noticed your clammy hands and the way you're trying to hide the nervousness in your voice.

“i am. i'm very nervous bun.”

“why?” he asks, looking at you with his bright and beady eyes.

“because all this is new to me too baby. i may have spent hours and hours researching and buying the things for it but that's different from actually doing it.”

changbin hums in acknowledgement, stroking your hand with his thumb as a way of soothing you. you smile sweetly at him, leaning in and pressing your lips against his gently. his eyes flutter shut, lips pressing against yours and copying the movements.

he shuffles onto your lap, legs either side and hands holding your shoulders gently. the towel around his waist threatens to slip and slide off. you hold onto his soft waist, caressing the skin before lightly trailing your fingertips up and down his sides causing changbin to shiver and whimper softly.

“yn..” he whispers against your lips. you hum, fingertips brushing over his hard nipples. you feather kisses down his jaw to his neck, gently nipping and sucking at his tender skin whilst your fingers roll and pinch his nipples.

his bottom lip caught between his teeth to stifle the moans that are threatening to escape from his lips. you gently tug, rolling the sensitive bud between thumb and finger.

you kiss his lips sweetly before trailing your lips down his chest. you look up at your lover through your lashes as you trail your lips to his nipple to gently blow on it as a way to ‘test the waters’

he shivers, a soft moan escapes from his chest as his eyes flutter close–the desired outcome for you.

you gently suck on his hard nipple, making sure to give the opposite one just as much attention with your fingers. every time you tugged his nipple with your teeth, you did the same to the opposite with your fingers.

by now, an obvious tent has formed, causing the towel to rise up a little bit. changbin is flush, his skin feeling hot and hair frizzy and fluffy due to the humidity and letting it air dry. his fingertips are sinking into your shoulder blades as a way to anchor himself down.

he moans your name like a mantra, his voice soft and breathless. you continue your assault to his nipples, changbin rocking his hips back and forth onto you. you pull away slowly, licking your lips as changbin's eyes flutter open to meet a flustered looking you.

“colour?” you softly ask.

“green.” you nod, taking the towel from around his waist and throwing it on the bedroom floor. you scan his face for any signs of discomfort and when you see nothing but pleasure, want and need, you continue.

you slide your hands down his back slowly to cup his perky butt cheeks. he lets out a soft and shy giggle, his cheeks turning red as you massage and squeeze the plush, yet squishy and soft flesh.

“colour?” you whisper against his lips, fingers trailing to his hole. changbin swallows, eyes closing as he feels your fingers slowly circle around the rim of his asshole.

“g-green.” you kiss his lips sweetly as you tease him. he bucks his hips, desperate for something. whether it'd be the friction on his cock or the feel of your fingers filling him up; he's aching for you.

you briefly pull away to grab the lube. changbin shuffles off your lap to rest his back and head on the mattress. he spreads his legs for you whilst you lube up two fingers, squeezing a bit extra to smear around his hole.

you smear the cold liquid around his hole, changbin letting out softly whimpers as goose bumps rise to the surface of his skin.

“cold.” he giggles.

“sorry bun.” he gives a hum and a shake of his head, dismissing the apology. he bites his lip gently as he feels one of your fingers slowly push inside his hole. you give him a hum of satisfaction, noticing how well prepared he feels.

“you did as i instructed?” changbin nods his head, cheeks turning a beet red.

“yes..”

“you did a very good job, binnie. i can feel that!” you say, pushing further until you're at the first knuckle. changbin lets out a shaky breathe, his body slowly becoming overwhelmed by this new and foreign feeling.

“you're doing so well, binnie.” you praise softly. he gives you soft whimpers, eyes doe like and staring at you. you chuckle softly, leaning down and kissing his lips sweetly.

during the kiss, you slowly move your finger in and out, testing the waters. nothing but shaky breathes and groans leaves changbin's lips. you only continue further, adding more and more when he whispers “please. need so much more.”

at this point, changbin is a little out of it. his chest and soft tummy heaving up and down to match his laboured panting. his bottom lip plump and red from chewing it too many times. his body feels strange but good at the same time. he's dreamt and thought of this so many times–possibly too many times and it's finally coming true.

“i'm adding in another finger bun. remember, be vocal and tell me if it's too much.” changbin nods, eyes squeezing shut as he feels a second finger slowly insert inside him. you added more lube to make the process a bit easier. changbin involuntarily clenches around your fingers, making you chuckle and him to flush an embarrassing shade of red.

you begin to move your fingers slowly, scissoring him out occasionally. you watch him carefully for any signs of discomfort only to be met with breathy pants, rosy cheeks and sweat coated skin. his eyes flutter open, silently begging you for more–so you give him just that.

you pump your fingers at a reasonable pace. you watch his back arch and hands scrambling for something to hold onto, for his hands to be met with your bicep. he clings onto you for dear life, squeezing your muscle tightly as he moans softly.

the slit of his penis seeps pre cum, the head glistening under the faint light. his cock is painfully hard, standing proud and angry at the tip. he slowly trails a hand down his soft tummy to wrap his fist around his aching cock. he slowly pumps himself in time with your fingers, his toes curling against the sheets.

“g-good.. yn.. don't stop, please.” he whimpers, begging you. you kiss his sweaty forehead gently.

“do you feel good bun?” you ask sweetly. changbin nods his head fast, so fast he makes himself dizzy. you continue to massage his walls, his rim squeezing around your digits. you slowly push more of your fingers inside, the tips brushing against his prostate.

his eyes widen at the sudden feeling. an alien feeling coursing through his veins. it's not a bad feeling else he would have told you to stop, but in fact, it's a feeling of electricity rushing and pumping through his veins, tingling at the tips of his fingers and toes. it causes his hair to stand up on his arms, the pit of his stomach to flutter and his thighs to uncontrollably shake–no matter how hard he tries to stop them.

“found it.” you giggle. the words are lodged in changbin's throat as he opens and closes his mouth. with each nudge and rub, his mind slowly clouds over and becomes numb with nothing but pleasure.

“i'm so proud of you bun.” you praise, noticing how his hand has picked up in speed from the corner of your eye. he desperately fucks himself into his fist, desperately chasing his high. his thighs and butt cheeks tense, his soft tummy dipping as his body becomes overwhelmed.

“c-cant. want to cum.” he chokes out, throat dry

“then cum, darling.” his eyes squeeze shut, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he bites down on his bottom lip. he bites hard, hard enough to draw some blood as he body shakes and spasms from his orgasm. his body fluid lands on his stomach, the rim of his ass clenching around your fingers with each shot of his cum.

slowly pulling your fingers out of his puckered hole, you lean down to soothe changbin and bring him back down to you. he lets out soft sobs and whimpers, his mind too hazy and gone.

“sh sh bun. focus on me, focus on my voice.” you gently run your fingers through his sweaty lock of curls, changbin looking at you with doe and hazy eyes as he sobs. you plant kisses on his face. his lips, tip of his nose, cheeks, eyes, bridge of his nose–anywhere you see fit, you kissed.

“y-yn.” he shakily chokes out. you smile softly at him, kissing his lips sweetly.

“hello bub.” he gives you a weak laugh. you kiss his forehead gently, ignoring the sweat that coats your lips. changbin lets out heavy breaths, his body feeling heavy but at the same time, high and buzzing off the adrenaline he's feeling.

“shall we stop here, baby?”

“no. i want to continue.”

“are you sure? i don't want you to tire yourself out. if you're feeling tired bun, we can always do it tomorrow.”

“i know.” changbin lifts himself up, using his elbows and forearms to support his weight from behind, “but i want to. i feel fine, i promise.”

the smile he gives you is reassurance. in this moment, your significant other is glowing. your heart bursting and stomach fluttering as you fall in love with him all over again. you feel heat rise to your cheeks and a sudden burst of energy and excitement bubbling in your stomach, threatening to escape from your throat.

“yn? are you ok?”

“yeah.. yeah! i'm fine just admiring how beautiful you look right now.”

“oh hush. i probably look as gross as i feel.” he mumbles. you cup his cheeks in your hands, pressing your lips against his in a sweet and love filled kiss. he instantly melts in the palm of your hands, his energy depleting as he allows himself to get lost in the kiss.

“you're the most beautiful, most gorgeous person ever, changbin. everytime i look at you, i fall in love with you all over again.”

“i–” changbin flushes red, heart bursting and thumping hard against his rib cage. “thank you.” he whispers. you giggle, kissing his cheek gently before lubing up the butt plug.

“ready?”

“ready.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

changbin and you did anal training for days, weeks. at first, he was still getting us to the foreign feeling of having something in his ass, but the more time that went on, the more he enjoyed it–more than he'd like to admit.

of course, you started small, beginner size before moving your way up to the bigger and thicker sizes. you and changbin trained almost every night, sometimes during the day too. some days, it'd be right as you'd wake up. you'd see a flush and hard changbin staring down at you, plug in hand as he'd whimper and beg to be filled by you.

during the days, when he would be incredibly busy, he'd send you some nudes. your favourite being of him posing in the mirror, his cheeks spread giving you a clear view of the plug (if he was wearing one) else it'd be his fingers nestled deep within himself.

he dared to wear a plug during the day, but not for long in case of injury. he enjoyed it, a lot. the feeling of knowing what he was doing, what he was wearing made him anxious and nervous. what if everyone else could tell what he was doing? what if he got spotted? he was thriving off the thrill, the adrenaline.

before all of this started, changbin never considered himself to be a switch or a sub. he vowed to himself that he was a dom and a dom only because there was something about feeling in control that he enjoyed so much. however, seeing you behave in the way you have been, treating him with the utmost respect and care, like he is a delicate rose, made him realize that he likes to be taken care of much more.

something inside you both changed since the training. it's sparked something, making your sex life feel more worth it and special. the fact that changbin is putting all his trust in the palm of your hands, fills you up with so much excitement that you're buzzing. seeing your lover walk through the door, flush skin and doe eyes as he trails himself to you whilst begging for you, shakes you to your core.

you want to play with him just that little bit more. the sadistic side of you wants to torment him, leave him high and dry. you want to hear him beg for you to touch him, to relieve him of his ache. you want to hear him sob as tears fall down his pretty face; but not yet. you know it's far too soon for that. you're aware that changbin is still getting used to being a sub as are you being a dom.

you love being penetrated by changbin. you love feeling him inside and watching his brows furrow together as he fucks you slow and deep. you love knowing that he is losing all composure because of your warmth, your sounds and the way you smell and taste; however, since training, you've found yourself to enjoy giving more than receiving.

“i think–” changbin pants, breathe fanning against your lips, “i think i'm ready.” you pull away slightly from your naked lover, changbin staring at you as he bites his lip gently.

“are you sure?” changbin hums as he nods his head.

“positive.” you give him a warm and gentle smile before moving off the bed to grab the thing you've both been preparing yourselves for for months–the strap-on.

you walk to your lover as he watches you with his beady eyes. he shuffles on to his knees, sitting back on his feet as if he's awaiting your instruction.

“i know i keep asking baby, but, are you sure sure?”

“i've never been so sure about something in my life, yn. i trust you and wouldn't want to do this with anyone else but you.” his voice is soft and sincere as his eyes hold nothing but love and trust for you. you feel heat rush up your neck to your cheeks, butterflies becoming resident in your stomach as they flutter around.

“gosh i love you.” you mumble as you put on and prepare the strap-on.

“i love you too.” you shuffle onto the bed to rest against the headboard. changbin watches you, feeling unsure on what to do. he wants to do something, he has that urge, that tingle in his fingers–but he's too scared and embarrassed to initiate anything.

“how would you like to do it, bun?”

“i want to–” he mumbles, playing with his fingers as his cheeks flush pink, “i want to ride you.”

“of course baby! anything to make you feel comfortable. but there's one thing you have to do first.”

changbin swallows before shifting to lie on his back. he parts his legs, giving you full view of his plug that's nestled in his ass. he trails one hand down his chest and soft tummy until he feels the material of the plug and the big pink heart gem that's decorating the end.

“pretty.” you mumble, admiring how the pink gem finishes off the look. changbin gives you a whimper as he slowly pulls the plug out from his hole.

“fuck..” he whispers. he shivers as the plug is removed from him, throwing it on the bed. you clench your jaw as you watch his hole contract and glisten from the lube.

“you've gotten so good at this now, bun. i'm so proud of you.” you coo. changbin whines softly as he shuffles onto your lap, legs either side as he hovers over the strap-on.

“i couldn't have done it without you, yn.”

“no?” you ask, reaching for the bottle of lube. you squirt some onto two fingers, reaching behind your lover to circle the rim of his puckered hole.

“n-no.” he shakily whispers. you let out a simple hum before pushing two fingers inside with ease. changbin lets out a shakily breath, feeling himself clench around your digits as you pump them. you caress his walls, fingertips brushing against his prostate.

his forehead makes contact with your shoulder as he pants heavily. he can see nothing but stars, his body slowly becoming consumed with pleasure as you continue on with the assault to his prostate. you kiss his cheek gently as you continue to tell him how well he is doing, changbin giving you short, laboured pants as he shivers and grips onto you.

“yn.. please.. i don't–i don't need to be stretched out.”

“don't underestimate it baby. we have to be sure.”

“o-ok but please.. hurry.” he begs. you give him a small chuckle, fingers caressing and scissoring his hole. changbin gives you a series of long moans and groans, his eyes fluttering shut as he basks in the pleasure.

“ok.” you say as you slowly pull your fingers out of him. his hole clenches around nothing, dissatisfied from the sudden empty feeling. “i think you're ready.”

you grab the lube, squirting some on the palm of your hand before coating the strap-on. changbin watches you, his heart rate picking up in speed because now is the time. he's dreamt of this for so long, prepared himself for weeks for this final moment.

“ready whenever you are baby. remember to take it slow and steady. don't rush, remember what we've been talking about.” changbin nods slowly before reaching behind him. he keeps one hand on your shoulder to steady himself as he grips onto the base of the strap-on. you hold him gently, watching his every movement as if you're ready to pounce on him if you see any signs of discomfort.

he guides the strap-on to his hole, gently nudging it with the tip and occasionally rubbing his hole to smear lube around. he takes a deep breath in before slowly lowering himself down on it. all the while, you stroke his waist, praising him as he slowly sinks down.

he's hole engulfs the strap-on, stretching his hole even more. he didn't think that could be possible with all the anal training however, you were correct–never underestimate.

“s-shit.” changbin shakily whispers out, his fingertips sinking into your shoulder blade, his cock angry and hard.

“are you ok baby??” you ask, worry lacing your voice as you notice changbin's brows furrowing together and eyes fluttering close.

“more than ok.” he groans, allowing himself to sink down further to stop half way. “i feel so… full.”

“do you feel good, binnie?”

“fuck.. yes…”

“move when you wa–” your sentence cuts short, cheeks flushing red as changbin wastes no time in bouncing on you. you swallow thickly, watching your lover embrace and indulge in his pleasure and high. he uses his thighs to help himself bounce faster, loud moans escaping past his lips on their own.

“pretty…” you whisper. you scan his face, hair and mainly his body. you take in how perky and pink his nipples look, how his cock bounces in time with his own bouncing. his curls match the movements as the tips slowly become soaked with sweat and stick to his forehead.

“yn.. yn.. good, so good!” his eyes flutter open, doe eyes staring back at you. his cheeks a beautiful pink colour as his bottom lip is plump from the kissing and biting.

“c'mer.” you groan, pulling changbin to you by the back of his head. your lips clash and collide together. a sloppy yet coordinated kiss that's mixed with breathy pants and saliva. you tangle your fingers in his curls, gently tugging at the roots as changbin dares to lower himself further down onto the strap-on.

he lets out a sudden shriek, pleasure overrunning his mind and taking over. the tip of the toy has successfully brushed against his prostate causing him to do nothing but whimper and give you breathy moans.

his thighs burn from having to constantly tense up. his movements become slow and sloppy. he looks at you, his features begging you to take over–so you do.

you hold onto his lower back as you gently lower him down onto the sheets. you situate yourself between his legs, slowly thrusting inside him. you only pick up the pace when you see changbin's head flop side to side, lips parting as he allows his moans to free fall past his lips.

“love you. i love you so much.” he whimpers, fingers wrapping around his length. he pumps himself in time with your movements, his thighs shaking and fist bundling the sheets.

“i love you too, bun. you're doing so well for me. you're so beautiful, so special to me.” you coo, reaching down and letting your fingertips brush against his sensitive nipples. he whimpers as he watches you stroke, tug and roll his nipples between your thumb and finger.

“my pretty baby.” changbin swipes his thumb over his soaked tip, oversensitivity causing him to shiver and whine. the pit of his stomach is hot and tight, his orgasm fast approaching; much faster than usual.

“i might.. i think…” he shakily pants out. you give him a nod and a loving smile.

“it's ok bun. you can cum.” with a final tug of his cock and a brush of his prostate, his orgasm hits him. his cum shoots out onto his stomach, his desperate whines fill the bedroom as he lazily tugs his penis to ride out his high. you slow down in your movements to help him ride it out as well as come back down from his high. all the while, you continue to praise him, to speak to him so he knows that you're there and that he should come back to you.

his arms and legs flop onto the bed, exhaustion talking over. you pull out of him slowly, taking off the strap-on and placing it to the side to clean later. you lay beside changbin to kiss his cheek gently.

“what about you?” he asks, moving his head to the side to look at you. you blink a few times, confused as to what he is saying.

“what do you mean, bun?”

“well, you haven't.. yknow.”

“oh! i'm fine binnie.” you smile. “its about you, not me.”

“i know but i want to make you feel good too.” he says with a pout, lifting himself up to sit upright. you follow suit, stroking his sweat coated hair.

“you do make me feel good bunny. seeing and hearing you feel so good because of me is enough to make me feel high. knowing that you love and trust me enough to do something like this is magical, changbin. you don't have to worry about me, i promise. plus, there will be plenty of times for you to please me, i'm sure of it.”

“mhm, ok yn. if you're sure though.”

“a hundred percent, my love.” you kiss his cheek sweetly before shuffling off the bed. you hold your hand out to him to which he takes. you walk to the bedroom together, putting on the shower and stepping inside.

you take turns to wash each others hair and body. it would have taken a few minutes but with you both continually kissing and hugging one another, it took around an hour to get cleaned up and dressed. changbin couldn't keep his hands or lips off you, your heart swelling once again with love from how clingy your lover has become.

he clings to you as you both walk to the living area. changbin sits on the sofa as you turn on the TV. you spin on your heels to walk to the kitchen to prepare food for you both; only to be stopped by a pouty changbin who is currently whining and going grabby hands at you.

“but food?”

“order? i want cuddles first.” he says, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. you melt on the spot, laughing softly as you walk to him. his eyes and face instantly light up as you sit next to him. he immediately rests his head on your lap as you take the sofa blanket and drape it over him.

“thank you.” changbin whispers. you look down at him as you twist his hair around your finger slowly.

“what for baby?”

“for today. for this. for helping me in all of this. i couldnt have done with with a better person than you. i felt safe.”

“you did?” your heart leaping out off your chest, those butterflies fluttering erratically in your stomach.

“mhm.” changbin nods. “i always feel safe with you yn. you are my home after all.”

note: part of starry's treasure trove! this is the main and probably the most 'juiciest' part of the trove 👀 ik this wont be everyone's cup of tea but if you did make it this far, thank youuu!! don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. curious as to what is next? here is my wips list! i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @oshimee ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @cixrosie ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer ; @fairylouist

#❥ skz #♡ changbin #✧ dom reader #☆ fic rec #✮ hall of fame #NEMU.#I WILL FOREVER CHERISH THIS STORY #i feel like theres more that im failing to say but im just #!!;!!!2!1!!!!!!!!#taking my strap out of my closet rn im on a mission to peg a bunnyboy

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cloneslugs · 5 years ago

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#oh my god i have been thinking avout it and 5 plays into it so well .#but kiryu being a better person than literally everyone and him not even knowing it is so goooood.. hes so good #theres so many shitty(good) things that come into play bc of it in regards to other characters and living up to him i am.. ;__;#i just.. love it #i love characters who are either too good its almost bad or its just tereible awful shitty characters but they work so well together .#i have a whole thing on this but im shutting up i just love kiryu so much.. kiryu and nuance... ugh hes so good #text tag #rgg txt

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dromaeo-sauridae · 2 years ago

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Sorry for spam liking half of your promethea tag SHFJKSKFK but I saw one of your posts come up bc I follow the spec evo tag, and I’m intrigued!! I have no clue what’s going on over there, I didn’t see a summary in as far as I scrolled — what’s the story with that world?

AEIFHUJA youre all good i was sleeping anyway! i dont mind spam liking !!

oh god yeah i never have posted a summary of wtf is going on have i. i just draw random shit LOL. ok lemme try to say all this without taking forever. um before i start i want to mention that im making the story with my friend who isnt on tumblr! i do most of the worldbuilding for promethea itself (and the creature design for all of cassandra) and they are in charge of another group of people who are pretty important lol. theres a LOT going on, so im just gonna focus on the main thing for now but if you want to know EVERYTHING then i can go over it all lmao

the story focuses on dawn (friend's character) who used to be a part of a group of sun god worshippers that were in charge of guarding the prison of a dragon named cinder. dawn was going to be the next warden/priest and in charge of keeping the prison secure, but a follower of cinder broke in and killed almost everyone there when dawn was a young child. they escaped when a wolf named theo led them to safety. afterwards, they were found and taken in by the king of promethea, jack. after a while, dawn realizes that something is wrong with him. hes being possessed, and its by the god of death. no one else is aware of this, since its been going on since he was a child and hes "himself" most of the time. however, as time goes on, its getting worse and worse and dawn starts looking for a way to help him. during their search, they find a woman named anuba, who strangely enough is looking for the same thing. well pretty quickly they realize that they both know jack, him and anuba being partners when they went to school together. so they start working together. unfortunately this sort of thing doesnt really. happen. ever. and they keep coming up with dead ends.

eventually one of them (not sure who yet, this bitch of a story is still a work in progress <3) comes up with the idea of calling on the sun god for help. the important thing here is that this god isnt the god of the sun, shes the god of damn everything. shes represented by the sun because of how powerful she is. the problem with her is since she's so huge and powerful, getting her attention is nearly impossible, even for someone like dawn who came from a group of her worshippers. anuba suggests letting the dragon whos locked up, cinder, out, since this god was the one who locked cinder up. dawn doesnt like the idea since cinder was locked up after she attempted to destroy all of cassandra, but they dont have many other options. anuba, who's desperate for literally any solution at this point, gets frustrated and goes off on her own to let cinder out anyway.

cinder is free.

now, there are two pieces of information that have been hidden from everyone up until this point. one, cinder is not just a dragon, she is a god, and she is the god who created cassandra. and two, cinder and the god that has been possessing jack are working together, and have been since the beginning. and jack is the one who killed the sun worshippers.

at this point, jack is beyond saving. hes too far gone and basically dead. his body is being used by the death god and when dawn returns, it attempts to kill them and theyre forced to finally kill him. dawn and anuba end up working together again, this time to kill cinder.

and yeah thats it. the ending is a bit rough cuz like i said its still a work in progress and jesus H christ this is so goddamn long already i need to fucking stop i hope this makes sense sorry for taking literally all day to answer its bc im atrocious at writing and it kept getting confusing LOL. theres a bunch of important shit ive left out bc of. the length. so if you have questions pls ask them

#good god #i had it about halfway written before deleting the whole thing and starting over cuz i didnt like it LMAO #i used to not like people spamliking but at this point my notifications are destroyed i will not mind #people talking to me #promethea #worldbuilding #<- kind of?#fantasy

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feckin-zicons · 3 years ago

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that's why i hate larries, i hate them with all my heart. besides being boring they are hypocrites 🙄

Hey nonnie, sorry its taken me so long to reply but if you’re following me you know I’ve been travelling lately and have been more scatterbrained than usual. Not that I’m ever not scatterbrained, but its been just a little crazier than usual!

Now I wouldn’t go as far to say I hate Larries. After all their delusions can be pretty funny sometimes!

Joking aside, I don’t hate Larries, I love Larries, I’m a Larry, so I really hesitate to tarry the whole group with the same brush. However I do strongly agree with you that there are those who are complete hypocrites. Nothing annoys more more than when Larries ™ treat the other boys, other celebrities, their friends and even family as one more side character to the Larry Show.

In particular when Larries ™ flood comment sections asking or in some cases, ordering people to confirm rumors/the couple being together. The absolute fucking disrespect. Not just because they’re flooding comment sections in videos streams, tweets, what have you, that sometimes have nothing to do with the couple in question, but because its presumptuous and rude as fuck to think they’re owed a coming out- just because they’re fans of the boys.

Stop it. Thats fucking ugly as hell.

While I have no doubt all the boys will one day be out (as referenced by their continued efforts in fighting the closet. I don’t get the sense the boys will just stop at being freed from their contractual obligations). It should and will be on their own terms. Provided they’re not forcibly outed some other way.

Coming out is a deeply personal experience and no one, no one ever, has the right to out someone else. I’ll never not be absolutely furious at the Larries ™ who posted about having ‘receipts’ that would out the boys. Which… tbh weren’t receipts at all but thats a whole other story. I’m also still angry at the reactions after Liams Attitude spread that wouldn’t have been as bad if not for the entitled fandom that peddled ridiculous claims beforehand about Liam confirming Larry to be real.

I mean… What the actual fuck. Setting aside the fandom experience of the time, and boy was it an experience. What right would Liam have confirming Louis and Harry’s relationship? I mean, get some perspective? It doesn’t help that a lot of fandom adults were the ones coming up with, and reblogging those theories and the younger fans ate it up. It would have made more sense for Louis and Harry to do it but idk maybe I’m still out of touch for thinking so. I mean, it felt like every other week someone was talking about Larry coming out. It was such a shit storm oh my god.

Biggest issue I still have with them is that the entitled behaviour hasn’t stopped. For some it seems like, Larry coming out is it for them. Like pack it up, goodbye, shows over, Louis and Harry are gay and in a relationship and everything is rainbows, we get to see cute pictures of them and everyone lives happily ever after.

Yeah, no. Coming out, for anyone, is just the beginning, can’t even begin to imagine what its like for them. They’re still going to need everyones support, and it irritates me that for some fans it seems so fucking conditional.

Time and time again, I’ve seen tweets, and posts, and videos, whatever, going on about Larry coming out and it reads like a fucking wattpad story. Not just that but its always on the assumption by the poster, on the off chance they consider the other 3/5ths of the band and Ziam being a possibility, that Larry will come out first?

What?

I’m sorry but, what?

Everything I’ve seen from the boys tells me they’re all in this together, they support each other and are working through the bullshit as a team. We have all seen the No Judgement music video yes? The merch, posts, double speak etc referencing each other, yes?

I mean, I suppose if you only look at Louis and Harry, like so many do, sure. Only Larry matters, everyone else is a side character in their life.

(Lemme just, scream for a second).

However, that kind of thinking leads them to the wrong conclusions. Like… assuming the SBB/RBB countdown was attributed to nothing, when it counted down to Liam finally being free of Sophia. In the years since, I’ve seen Larries ™ backtrack on claiming the bears had anything to do with the boys, that they weren’t behind it at all, or that they were just trolling the fandom.

You know, despite all the proof otherwise, and some really, really good posts breaking down clues about what the boys were trying to tell us. The moment something might not actually be about Louis and Harry its like all their thinking shuts off. Its frustrating. Really fucking frustrating.

Seriously, fans of the other boys as individulas, not just Ziams, have been talking about the stunts too and how they fit together. Its why we tend to be right, because we’re considering the entire group. They’re still a group. They’re not free until all of them are free.

Just for that Nialls coming out first. Lmao. I’ll call it now. Lets go Niall, whens the baby coming. We all wanna know. Its been years.

Imagine, imagine! Acting like coming out is some race to be won. The fucking audacity.

Go outside and touch fucking grass you absoulte ninny.

I get it, you want to be vindicated, you want to be rewarded for putting your faith in two celebrities being together.

Newsflash you dandelionfluff, its not a race, Louis and Harry coming out isn’t a fucking prize. Thats not what supporting a relationship looks like.

Its worse when someone admits they don’t know much about Ziam or the possibility of Niall being LGBT+, and claim they’re open to it, but then immediately tweet or reblog or sub tweet or tag comment a post or answer an ask from another Larry ™ talking about how Larries ™ are the most marginalized and persecuted group.

???

In what fucking world?

IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD?

If we wanna play that game, boohoo, the media claims Louis and Harry aren’t friends anymore because of crazy shippers. Meanwhile Zayn publicly isn’t friend with anyone and “left” the band… despite the Ziam fandom calling the stunt about either Louis or Zayn “leaving” and getting it down to the exact week (the second article coming out a week before about the Ziam kiss pretty much cemented it for Zayn leaving. Which did a lot to fan the flames of the already rabid fanbase when Ziam got two articles confirming a Ziam kiss over the years and Larry got nada. Like that actually means anything).

Not to mention Larries ™ using the hetties and management tactics against the other parts of the fandom to silence them.

Who cares what the media says anyway! TPTB, 1DHQ, The Sun, The Mirror, Simon and his minions and their unpaid interns have used the media to split the fandom apart and it worked.

Who the fuck cares if the media calls the 1D stans delusional, you know the truth! The truth it out there and you’ve seen it! The truth is coming! Who gives a damn about what some two bit “journo” who failed out of their creative writing course writes? They get worse by the year. If it wasn’t so pathetic and hilarious I might actually feel embarrassed for them. They can’t even come up with new stories and have just taken to copying old articles, but you’re upset with them??? Give it a rest. Honestly.

The sense of disconnect, entitlement and victimhood of some Larries ™ is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh my god they’re Karens. I’m not trying to be insulting, but thats exactly who they remind me of.

I’m not going to say its a surprise to me that so many in the Ziam fandom are POC, LGBT+, and Neurodivergent and any combination of those, but I am going to say I’ve read a lot of Larry fics that just have Het sex made gay. Those in the Ziam fandom just tend to look at facts in a different way than Larries do due to their life experiences. A interfaith, interracial, relationship where one or both partners fall under the Bi umbrella (not saying Louis or Harry can’t be or aren’t Bi+ but rumors, and the way the fandom markets them, puts them firmly in the gay category) looks very, very different than gay or straight relationship. Both looking from outside and being in one. There’s just different dynamics at play that aren’t often realized or understood by the gays and hets.

Its not a bad thing. All relationships are different. The issue is that theres a lot of biphobia/racism/religious prejudice etc that arises from people being unwilling to understand the inherent differences.

Taking myself for example, I’m bi, like, bi as hell, and I don’t understand how gays and hets only like one gender. I just don’t. Can’t wrap my head around it. If someone asks me to choose one gender over the others to prefer I can’t. Its so stressful. My brain goes into panic mode and it feels like I’m being torn apart. My sense of identity is shaken- its a shit feeling. I just can’t lie to myself like that. If other people feel the same well, its no wonder bi+ have such high rates of depression and suicide. Its not about choosing who to like, there is no choice, I just feel attraction to everyone. Aces, I get. Its similar to being the opposite of what I feel, or not feeling an attraction to someone I’m not interested in. Easy. Gays and hets? I’m completely lost on.

Completely, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try and understand where they’re coming from. Its alien to me, personally, but I’m not going to shut down the fact, that theres a fuck ton of people who only like one gender or try and make up reasons as to why they’re actually bi+

I digress, none of the boys fall neatly into the gay stereotypes, its just that parts of the Larry fandom have boxed Louis and Harry into certain roles to fit preconceived notions (likely do to them initially fitting in better with the white, sassy, somewhat effeminate twink thats been plastered all over Hollywood as their “LGBT+ representation” for years. Gag), they can understand better, and only look for proof to back up their theories but don’t look at things objectively.

They really need to get out more and make some LGBT+ friends that aren’t on the internet and talk to some gay elders. They need educating that’s not the often sanitized and insulting Hollywood version, that’s all I’m saying.

They made Louis and Harry more palatable for themselves and its… really gross.

I don’t know, I don’t get it.

Some Larries ™ turned the boys into their fandom and fanfiction stereotypes when they’re so much more than that. The Sony leaks should have been enough to dissuade the fandom, and prove that the brand sold to the broader audience is just that- a brand, and yet… Niall only talks about food and golf and Ireland and is only allowed to be straight or ace. If he exists at all its just to be Capt Niall. Liams slow and dumb and depending on the day he’s either Capt Liam or a horrific abusive homophobe. Zayns just The Worst, a unstable drug addict, and the boys hate each other, and they should have kicked him out of the band sooner because he never wanted to be part of them anyway, etc.

It drives me absolutely around the bend some days. They’re real people who don’t owe anyone anything, especially not coming out.

Yes, I think they will. But they’re not obligated to. They can change their minds, I’ll support them regardless of an “official” coming out or not.

Look, a part of me gets it. They wanna be right, they wanna prove the haters wrong, they want to be able to say I called it all along! The vindication will be sweet.

But like, it takes a quick look at someone other than Louis and Harry to realize theres something hinky going on with Liam, Zayn and Niall. Please listen to their fans who have spent just as much time as you have looking into Louis and Harry compiling together evidence.

It might take a weekend to watch the ILYSM and pterodactyl bros videos and a few more hours looking into some Niall blogs, which isn’t much compared to the hours I know they’ve spent looking into Larry. At least then they’ll have enough information to form an opinion on things.

I wonder, for some, what would happen if Larry didn’t come out, or didn’t come out first, or one of the other boys was outed against their will. Because… I don’t know. It seems like some would rather just be proven right at this point.

I get it. We’re tired. Its been eleven long years. But this isn’t a television show were everything can come to a head with a s3 or s4 cliff hanger and fixed in the series finale. Its real life, and they started off as boys trusting industry veterans who never had their best interests at heart.

Iduno. I just want some Larries ™ to take a step out of the echo chamber, realize life isn’t The Larry Show & co. And especially. ESPECIALLY, that every instance were someone, friends, family, co-works, industry peeps etc support the boys they are SUPPORTING THE BOYS, NOT THE FANDOM. They are not “confirming Larry for the fans” they’re doing it to support the couple, not to cater to the fandom. Please stop confusing the two. There’s a huge fucking difference. Learn it.

#Honestly it should be the Liam Payne the three guys who’ve had a crush on him and the one who married him.#aka the hill I'll die on #lmao #sorry not sorry #IM SORRY IT LOOKS LIKE I HAD A LOT MORE TO SAY ABOUT THIS THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD #ASDFGHJKL;#also please don't think I'm calling anyone out specifically #these are a lot of generalizations and trends I've noticed after being in fandom for nearly 11 years they pop up all the damn time #circles we're just going in circles #I've been following Ziam in particular since the Nov 2011 interview #but suspected Liam had a crush sometime before when I saw a gifset of him talking about Zayns birthday presentsbc he as acting the exact sa #e way I was when I was crushing on a girl I knew #I saw myself in him and ignored it for another day #lmaooo #ziam #larry tunnel vision #larry vs ziam #Larry vs Niall #fandom bs #ask

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moonlightchn · 4 years ago

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~WHOLESOME WEDNESDAY~

Not to be a soft motherfucker but I've been wanting to do this again for a week now so I guessed I would try my best to fit as many of my thoughts here as I can without being annoying or tumblr fucking up plz bear with me heh but we know none of those are actually possible anyway so THERES THAT also this is fucking long wow ANYWAY

WARNING WORD VOMIT sjsjsjsj I dont even know what i wrote I'm sorry but I'm tagging yall anyway

Some of you I speak to on a daily basis, yknow? Like,, as admin. And its fucking insane because like- I don't know but like isn't it insane? sjajsjsj How fast some people come to grow in your heart and get under your skin and become so important for you. I think it's crazy. That in four months or so I've made more friends in here that in my whole life and I've learned so much about life and myself and I've gotten marked and some of you imprinted on my mind and heart forever. And like HELL I wasn't here when most big dramas happened but I was here for two very big ones and like??? idk it feels like all of us have been through shared crises and somehow grown closer sjajskwjs idk I'm weird and im sensitive today and I just feel like wow what would I be doing without all of you right now? probably studying. or scrolling Twitter in which I never spoke to anyone. or watching Instagram stories and getting sad over how all my ex class partners are still in contact and hang out and keep strong relationships while I just sit here. like, I know we all say this place sucks and we hate it and its toxic and don't get me wrong of course some people is fucking shitty and they take a toll on a lot of others but that like... it also happens in real life yknow?? but like in real life how many people do you think would actually idk sit with you through a panic attack or stay up with you till 8am or wake up in the middle of the night or rave with you or hype you up or have meme wars or send you daily jokes or just randomly tell you how much you mean to them or make posts asking where you are when you disappear or been gone for too long or make people that doesnt know you send you birthday wishes? like I'm not saying it doesnt happen but isnt it wonderful that it happens HERE with US where maybe out of 10 people only 2 know each other in real life? Isnt it wonderful that we're from all around the world? that you half of the time dont realize someone isnt from English speaking places because they're too good or even when they're not that good no one judges you because this is such an inclusive and wonderful place for people of all races and colors and sexualities and nationalities and body types and hair colors?

idk I'm just RAMBLING but like I wanted to let everyone know that even if we dont speak, even if we NEVER spoke, even if we're only on each others tag lists, or even if I was and you took me off or I took you off or if you deleted or if you have 817383 bots and you speak to me in all of them or only one or whatever PLEASE just know that I love you so much and I appreciate you and you're awesome and if you made some mistakes know that you CAN fix them you CAN learn and be better you CAN grow.

I believe that everyone is capable of learning and changing and everyone deserves a second chance as long as they genuinely show the intention of changing and bettering themselves. I believe that we're capable of forgiving and maintaining healthy relationships without hard feelings. I believe we all have goodness. I believe we all are small universes and we have stars in our eyes and supernovas in our brains and a million things to discover and I believe its funnier to be together than alone and I'm rambling again but like idk just yesterday I was sending someone a message telling them how maybe I'm fucking delusional and naive because who the fuck goes out on their daily saying "be skeptical. dont trust too much. always pay attention" but then after two days of talking with someone they're fucking platonically whipped and would sell their soul as long as they can see those around them happy? trick question I know many of you do too which WORRIES ME PLZ DONT PUT YOUR HEARTS ON THE LINE SO EASILY I drifted I forgot what I was saying oh welp

Anyway for some of you i have so much to say I could write endless paragraphs about you about admins and characters and life and wow I do speak a lot to admins sometimes I speak more to admins as admin that the characters and for some others I can only say a few things or wish you to have a good day some of you I only ever spoke to your character or we talked too little or never at all wow I say that a lot but like one thing yall have in common is that I love you so much even if you don't know me or dont care alright I dont care if you don't care I LOVE YOU and you can FIGHT ME if you dont wanna accept it smh I just want you to know that this place so many of you have been feeling is crumbling down or hurting them or isnt the same anymore is MY safe place too is a place where I feel comfortable and secure and I know, well decide to believe, that you guys would never do willingly anything to hurt another and yknow sometimes I just sit in bed and look at my account and I'm like wow I suck I should delete but then I'm like I could never do that to you I really couldn't because I've been told so many times I'm peoples safe place too and I would never want to take that away from you yknow

I mean I'm not gonna say we shouldn't pay attention to the bad things that happen because this is somehow our home and it's on us to protect it but I think that we shouldnt focus so much on it. because theres still so many good things that we overlook when we think of the bad or when we let things get to us or when we decide to act out of impulse and not think through stuff yknow

ANYWAAY what I'm trying to say is that I love you all so so so so so much and this is my safe place because you're here for me when I need it and I would never give you guys up for anything and like i have so many people for whom i stay daily and try my best and I hope that someday when you need a reason i can be that for you too because I've said this in private but I want everyone to know that this is my corner too and I will always fight for it and protect it so like we can all fight for it together whenever things get rough or you can leave me alone and maybe I'm being super dramatic and putting a lot of weight on this but I started overthinking like halfway and in just tthink that I want to keep yall close to me and my heart forever ok so stay safe and healthy and happy yeah fight for your happiness fight for what you deserve fight for what you want and don't let anyone ANYONE EVER take away from you your joy and your spark and your will to be yourself ok bye

#adminnie soft hours #is this even wholesome idk #ita word vomit #bye

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sanchoyo · 3 years ago

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danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

#danny phantom #dp thoughts #sanchoyorambles

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theunconcernedembalmer · 4 years ago

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Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

#its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #i know ive said that there are a lot of new blogs popping up #but uhhh i dont really dare to interact with them #considering they kinda did come in just when shit had hit the fan n idk i might have been known as The Problematic Blog tm #so i understand if ppl dont want to interact with me n im fine with it. so for now i wont be initiating anything #like dropping asks into inboxes unless i know the mun n theyre comfortable with me doing this #i will interact with everyone who drops by my inbox tho!!#i also tend to get to replies for other blogs faster than general replies cos i feel bad if i kept the other person waiting for too long #I DO forget about rp replies sometimes tho. sometimes #i try my best to get to every one of them tho. even when im kinda busy this period aha #also starting off is actually easy. its about maintaining thats difficult i feel #which is also why i havent done up a genshin ask blog yet HAHAHAHAHA #i really hate to give up on something ive already started when it comes to art projects so

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snickiebear · 4 years ago

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yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you.

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them.

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are.

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD.

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL.

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A.

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH.

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about.

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay.

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time.

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps.

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing.

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.”

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic.

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

#silly things from silly friends

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ranaiki · 4 years ago

Text

and then there was one

Okay so I once had this thought that completely, absolutely shattered my heart. And, like the amazing person I am, I’m going to be putting it into words and sharing my heartbreak with you all. I don’t want to give too much away here, but it has to do with the bond shared between twins :) (no, it is not twincest)

Characters: Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu, Kita Shinsuke, Suna Rintarou, Hinata Shouyo, Aran Ojiro (some smatterings of Atsukita and Osasuna).

Warnings/Tags: angst. Just angst. Fluff if you squint? Swearing, death. Only a little bit of plot. Throwing up mentioned at one point. Post-timeskip spoilers ig?

A/N at end <3

⠀

Atsumu and Osamu Miya have always had an inexplicable connection.

Some shred of the universe decided that they would be borne of the same flesh and blood, that everything they had would be shared with one another - from their lives and experiences, all the way down to their face.

And maybe it’s silly, to think that anything other than coincidence made them brothers, twins, but the way they so perfectly melded together, two halves of the same whole, was far too special to have been left up to chance.

Well, maybe it wasn't always perfect. In fact, it was less than. But within imperfections lies the completeness many chase in life, the very same that the Miyas were fortunate enough to be born with already in their possesion.

As babies, Atsumu and Osamu would cry when separated, and never quell until their twin was once again in their presence. From the very beginning they had been pressed up against one another in an uncomfortable proximity, yet it was this that provided the most ease. In a brand new, scary, and cold world much different from the one they had grown in, they were each others pillars - the sources of comfort and familiarity that could only be found with one another and was necessary for their trudge through life.

Even as they aged, the fact remained that they were each others constant. Even as they grew and sprouted into wholly different beings with different hearts and passions, they still stuck to each others’ sides

The Miya twins.

When one fell, the other was there to pick them back up again.

When one strayed too far, the other was there to drag them back and set them straight.

When one changed and grew, the other was changing and growing right alongside them.

Even when they grated on each others nerves, when they bickered and brawled, when they fought so bad they swore they would never again talk to each other, they never left. They’d always quietly return with unspoken apologies perfectly understood, and everything was right.

They were two sides of the same coin, after all.

⠀

As adults, Osamu and Atsumu had parted physically, but were always still together. Osamu opened an Onigiri shop in Hyogo, while Atsumu had moved to the professional leagues of volleyball, and was based in Osaka. They shared calls often, visits occasionally, but even if they went weeks or months without talking, they always knew they’d see each other again.

There was no doubt in their minds. They knew that even while chasing their own dreams, their twin was right there with them. Atsumu knew that Osamu was sitting in front of a tv during each of the games he couldn't attend physically, watching and cheering for him. Osamu knew that in Osaka, Atsumu was bragging to his friends about Onigiri Miya and Osamu’s cooking skills, claiming that the next time they went to Hyogo they all needed to visit his brothers shop and get food there so everyone can taste for themselves Osamu’s wonderful cooking.

And when Atsumu stood on a platform in front of a small crowd of friends and family, vowing to love and cherish his now husband, Kita Shinsuke, Osamu was right there with a smile on his face and pride in his heart.

Even when Osamu and Suna’s little family expanded from two to three, Atsumu was there, greeting his niece and helping look after her while the new parents finally got some sleep.

It was the kind of love and bond that couldn't be forged, that couldn’t be recreated by people who met at some point along the paths in their lives. The connection Atsumu and Osamu shared was created when they were, was born with them, and has stuck ever since.

⠀

Atsumu stretched languidly with his teammates in their training gym in Osaka.

The golden haired setter had his phone at his side, fidgeting slightly as he leaned over his spread legs. He woke this morning in a state of discomfort. He couldn’t figure out where the sense of unease had come from. There was a nagging feeling at the back of his head, one he couldn’t shake, and one that was getting stronger the more time passed.

“Astumu-san?” Hinata’s voice roused him from his thoughts, and he realized he’d been staring intently at the floor in front of him.

“Hm, Shouyo-kun?”

“You’ve been staring at the ground for a while now, is everything all right?” He was gazing at the setter with those wide, brown eyes. Frightening yet childlike all at the same time.

Atsumu offered one of his dazzling smiles, nodding reassuringly. “Jus lost in thought.” He explained, reaching over to ruffle the orange tufts of hair springing from the smaller man’s head. This earned an indignant squeak as Hinata ducked, shrinking into his track jacket in the process.

Atsumu chuckled softly, glancing around.

Something just didn’t feel right.

He shook off the nagging as best as he could, continuing with his stretching.

Practice was grueling. Those uneasy feelings hadn’t left him, and he couldn’t focus on anything, watching apathetically as he failed set after set and serve after serve. His teammates had backed away from him a long time ago, afraid of his carelessness and lack of intensity. He hardly even noticed what he was doing, completely drowned in his mind.

Worry was beginning to take root, worming through him. Was something wrong with Kita? No, he had seen him only an hour ago. His parents, maybe? He didn’t think so. They were old, but they were in good health. So, who?

Osamu.

As soon as the thought passed through his head, cold dread sunk its claws into him, and he could feel his gut twisting.

No, he’d visited Osamu and his daughter just a week ago, and they were both fine. He’d facetimed his brother a few days ago too while he was at Onigiri Miya, and he was in perfect health even then.

He moved suddenly, leaving the court without a word and disappearing into the hallways of the gym complex, ignoring the shouts of his name echoing behind him.

He pulled out his phone and dialed Suna, the need to quell his fears overpowering.

“Atsumu?” The voice on the other end sounded startled to hear him, and if it weren’t for his frantic state, he would’ve heard the way Suna’s voice cracked when he spoke, and sounded disoriented.

“Suna!” Atsumu chirped, breathing a sigh of relief. “I keep feelin’ like theres somethin’ wrong, wheres ‘Samu?”

Silence.

He thought maybe their phones had lost connection - the gym didn’t have the best cell reception - but a soft, broken sob and background voices reached his ears before he had the chance to check.

“Oh fuck, is that Atsumu?” The voice was muffled and distant, but he could still hear it.

Suna had broken into full on, anguished cries now, his wails filling the phone. Atsumu was frozen, numbness beginning to spread over his body, his eyes wide and mouth gaping.

“I’m sorry.” Suna sobbed, “I-I can’t-”

There was a loud clattering sound, murmuring.

Someone else was on the phone now.

Atsumu was standing in place, silent, frozen, still.

“Atsumu?” It was Aran. He had this tone of voice as he said his name, one filled with finality, somberness. Atsumu’s stomach lurched.

Aran’s words were lost to Atsumu, blabbering nonsense as his vision clouded. Two words broke through: Osamu and...

dead.

Emptiness.

That was all he felt. The world around him crumbled, and he was left standing in nothing. His head was blank, hands trembling. He was filled with nothingness, but it was the most painful nothingness he had ever experienced.

Pain seared through him, filling in the parts that were suddenly no longer whole, the parts that had been left empty as soon as those words of finality were uttered. It was comparable to multiple heart attacks all at once, and it had Atsumu collapsing on the ground as his brain tried to catch up.

“What?” His voice was a feeble whisper, a wobble to it as everything began to process.

“I’m so sorry Atsumu.” Aran said, and it sounded like he was tearing up. “The wound was deep, and he was found too late. He’s gone. The-”

Atsumu didn’t hear the rest.

The phone in his hand clattered to the floor beneath him as he sat there, staring blankly at the entryway just ahead.

That emptiness spread through him like a cold fire. He felt incomplete, raw. Tears dripped from his eyes, warm and salty, that he hadn’t even realized had formed. He was dead silent, not a peep coming from him as his lips trembled and bile rose in his throat.

And suddenly, he was hunching over, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the polished concrete, heaves wracking through him.

He threw up until there was nothing but stomach acid left. And as he finished, hunched over a mess with his arms clutching his abdomen for dear life, he finally made a sound.

A raw, agonized scream. It ripped his already searing throat. It was broken. Nothing was more heart wrenching than the wailing sobs that tore through Atsumu’s body, the dizzying pain of his loss flooding his senses as he hunched over further, once again throwing up on the concrete below between bubbling cries.

He vaguely registered his husband rushing in; he didn’t even wonder how he had gotten there. He hardly noticed when Kita’s strong arms wrapped around his trembling frame, pulling him away from the mess. He didn’t hear it when his former captain was crying softly, whispering reassurances, trying to calm him down. Because the pain he felt? It was too much. And the black hole Osamu’s death had left inside of him was threatening to swallow him whole. So he went limp, letting the tears and sickness and sobs run through him without restraint.

Osamu was gone.

His best friend, his confidant, his brother. The person who had been there his whole life. His pillar of support and voice of reason before anyone else, the one who supported him no matter what.

The only one he could truly rely on, who he knew would always be there.

Was gone.

And nothing hurt more than knowing he was no longer whole, that he was now no more than a flattened, one sided coin.

Nothing was worse than the way he knew. He knew Osamu was dead before he was told. He could feel it. He hadn’t realized it, but he could feel him slip away, he could pinpoint the exact moment when Osamu had passed.

And it hurt.

Osamu was gone.

Osamu was dead.

And he never even got to say goodbye.

⠀

A/N: so... hope ya liked it. This is actually my first fic now, technically. Uhhh.... its not the best? I feel like I didn’t express the pain in the way I wanted to - I’ve always been an emotions bottler so in all honesty, I don’t know what its like to let it out like Atsumu does here. I wanted to briefly explain my thoughts and like, the og one this drabble is based off of. Pretty much, I was thinking one day how if Osamu or Atsumu were to die prematurely, or in a gruesome way, the other twin would be able to feel it because theres this like, link between twins thats sometimes discussed and isn’t shared between normal siblings or other pairings. Its specifically a twin thing. So like, just imagine - Atsumu or Osamu are minding their own business and all the sudden they just feel wrong. And they know, they know subconsciously that their twin just died, but they haven't realized, but once they learn? Oh god the pain.... yeah sooo anyways! Hope y’all had a good time reading bc it certainly broke my heart to write haha.

#haikyuu #miya twins #miya atsumu #atsumu miya #miya osamu #osamu miya #fic #angst #haikyuu angst #kita shinsuke #suna rintarou #aran ojiro #hinata shoyo #atsumu #osamu

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bow-wow-wark-wark · 3 years ago

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Hiii happy 4th hypmic anniversary, I know it's been like 3 days since the actual anniversary but *shrugs* anyways I wanted to answer the questions from this post to celebrate!! (This is going to be a long post lol, this just brings a ramble instinct in me)

1. How and when did you get into HyplMic?

I got into hypmic during the end of September/ start of October of last year, it feels like a lot of time and very little at the same time lol... so many people in the fandom have liked this for super long!! I got into it bc of someone I followed on twitter, they would talk about it sometimes and I was getting a bit sick of the music I listened too so I thought "why not expand my music taste?" Little that I know It was going to become the only thing I listened too lol. I also saw this like "a hypmic characther once said" video and I thought it was soooo funny I just had to get into it. I'm honestly surprised hypmic started in 2017 bc I was going through a god awful musical phase and knowing I could have liked it earlier in life amuses me (tho back then I thought anime was silly so it wouldn'thave happened either).

2. First impressions of the characters? Who stuck out the most?

(Another long one soz) I'm going to do most of them btw.

Buster bros: ichiro was the 1st chara I knew before I got into it, for a bit I had him mixed up with jyushi tho lmao. Tbh I didnt have a very strong opinion on him, I wasn't super into BB at the start 😅 same with jiro, I liked him the most, thought he was really cute. At the start I disliked saburo a bit lol, like he was just soooo mean and I didn't like that, also I wasnt a huge fan of new star at the start so I didnt like him bc of that either.

MTC: I had to fight a lot to openly like mtc, I felt a bit bad liking them at the start bc they're all like criminals and stuff lol. I have to be honest I think that at the start I didnt think about them like at all... the strongest impression here was Rio, he was my favorite also I thought jyuto was hilarious bc of the start of bayside smoking blues, I really liked his voice too.

Fling posse: ok so the moment I saw Ramuda I was like "this guy is evil as balls isnt he?" I was pretty right lol, I thought he was a child like saburo at the start bc hes so small, man fooled me there. I liked dice the most at the start, my 1st fanart is of him lol. I didnt have very strong opinions on Gentaro, I was surprised to find out his VA also voiced yamaguchi since I was a haikyuu fan if anything.

Matenro: Lol matenro was my favorite (still is), idk what was it but I saw all of them and I was like: great :D I dont remeber specific impressions tho.... It was almost like love at first sight lol. I remeber I really liked the fact that both hifumi and doppo had tips, I thought it was super cool.

BAT: ok so I also knew who kuuko was before I got into hypmic my actual actual 1st fanart was of him (I did it before I even knew what hypmic was like at all). I really liked him, I remember listening to gyara bam and being like "this guy rules so much", I really liked jyushi, as mentioned before I had him mixed with ichiro (they look nothing a like I dont even know how) I was super shocked to find out he was also a teen lol I was pretty happy. Not gonna lie I had no idea who hitoya was at the start (rip) I knew kuuko I knew jyushi but I didnt know him, I dont remeber being very big on him till like the dramas and getting more into hypmic bc before nothing nada.

Dotsuhon: lol I slept on dotsuhon for the looongest time, I literally only liked sasara, rosho and rei were just really there for me. Sasara was my favorite bc I loved his voice and tragic transitor gace me unrivaled latino vibes so he felt very close to me in a sense. I thought rei was a scumbag the moment I laid eyes on him.

3. Who was the first character you liked?

My 1st favorites before I found out about bat and dotsuhon where jiro and hifumi!! I really liked their voices and like over all attitude and stuff.

4. Which was the first Division you liked?

My favorite was matenro, they were just so cute and I liked how they were pretty chill and just had fun most of the time. Like how they tried looking all edgy and intimidating but they were all nice guys lol.

5. How have your favorites changed?

Not much lol my favorite is still hifumi tho know I have jyushi and Otome if were ranking on like top 3. I love all the charas now tho!!! Lol these are just my bigger ones. Division wise now my favorite is mtc, followed by bat I'm still a matenro stan tho!! All divisions have done some big growing on me so I love all of them anyways.

6. What was the first song you listened to?

The 1st song I listened to was battle anthem, I was super convinced it was the 1st hypmic song so I was surprised to hear it was division rap battle lol.

7. What's your favorite solo song?

Ghhhh this is so hard to choose... I actually like basically every single hypmic song.... if we're talking only 1t set that's easier to choose. Um that would be sensenfukoku, drops and champagne gold, I like all the mtc ones so I cant choose. Second set every single one is amazing so I cant choose either, tho at the start I disliked most of them somehow...

8. What's your favorite group song?

Ok at 1st i thought it was like an all division song but I just read it and it's just group song in general.... I love all of them but one of my biggest comfort songs is papillion so I'll say papillion. If were talking all stars songs that's easier tho: in no particular order its hoodstar (just heard the + ver and it slapped), survival of the illest+, glory or dust and hang out.

9. Which songs do you think are slept on?

Mmmmm I personally have no idea which songs people like more in general but I have seen a bunch of "my favorite hypmic moments" videos so I'll base it on that. I'll personally say any mtc song lol, in those videos theres always a surprising lack of mtc so yeah.

10. Do your favorite songs come from your favorite Division?

Yes, tho it's really no problem bc I like all songs😅

11. Objectively, who do you think is the best rapper?

I had never heard a lot of rapping till hypmic so I have no idea what good rapping is lol... I personally thinks everyone does a good job, I guess someone else can school me on that.

12. Which composers for HypMic do you listen to?

None... I honestly dont like know who composes which song.... I know very little about music and I dont look into it so I cant answer this one either.

13. If you had to get someone into HypMic with one song what would it be?

Oh :0 well I'm not very sure but if anything I think the way to go would be an all stars song bc you can get the feel of each division pretty good, then if they like that introduce them to other stuff. Of course this all depends on the person lol... my brother really likes strong songs so to him battle anthem was a good hook up... I quite personally would go for survival of the illest bc it has a good feel of the divisions and it's very silly which is a series staple.

14. Do you play ARB? Drop your friend code for people reading!

Nooooo I dont 🤧😢 I really want to but I dont think I would have space on my phone, besides idk how to download it, if you have to pay for it I dont have money and if it's only in japanese I'm learning at snails speed so I wouldnt understand it *cries a little* I have seen certain events tho, I find it funny.

15. What events are you hoping to see? What character combos do you hope will show up together?

Mmmm idk I have a post about but I'll love to see a sasara jakurai interaction, I'm pretty sure one has already happened but I want this funny man to interact with jakurai more. Some people mentioned that they would like to see more interactions between kuuko and samatoki and I agree, wheres that side of the mad comic dialogue line up? I'll also like to see hitoya and samatoki bc they're both into vintage stuff ish, like fashion wise so I think it would be interesting to see. Last I want a jyushi/jiro interaction idk of there's any but there needs to be I need them to interact!!! Or maybe saburo jyushi that would also be interesting.

16. Are you into any ships?

Yes!!! I'm a little shy talking about ships not going to lie so I don't talk about it too much lol. I like samajyu a normal amount, I also like ichikuu, jiroshi, hifudo and hitojaku. I like a lot of other ships too tho, like ot3 mtc is good so is fling posse tho my favorite is ramugen. Hypmic has a bunch of cute ships so it's hard not to enjoy most.

17. Do you have a yume/self-ships? Platonic or romantic.

Not really lol, I have considered reading self insert before but I always feel a bit embarrassed. If you do you're super poggers tho.

Ok I'll keep answering in another post bc this is getting super long and the next question is one I want to say a lot about again. Umm if you happen to see this and want to answer them too fell free to!! You can tag me if you want as well, I love seeing others opinions about like hypmic and stuff so feel free too. If you want to comment on something I said you're free to do so as well

#this is so long #km not sorry tho 😈#ok maybe a bit #this questions really bring that animal instinct in me lol #brains is being replaced by hypmic sorry #im not tagging bc #long post #ramble post #you can block the ramble tag if you dont want to see this lol #also if theres mispelling in this ignore it #i cant spell or read #this really is so long im so sorry.... ill make sure to cut the next one earlier if it gets too long

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