#oh. now i remember there was another shitpost behind it. i just. didn't get to.

[moe-broey]

Why did I start like three other projects when I was already working on a big project when I just got hit with the autism exhaustion beam (requires. At least One Full Day just dead in bed, and then some more Taking It Easy time after)

[succikko-draws]

Sequel to this dumb shitpost - Reever might not be as sleep deprived as when cooking the plan but he's carrying on with it

Transcript: Johnny: Ah, chief Bak... It's been a hot minute you've stepped in our labs... Bak: You guys really are mean to me... I still remember the birthday incident yknow... Johnny: Ah. Right, Hehee

Reever: ... You know Director Bak, it's mandated by Komui.

Bak: Wait... Is it? to ME? Specifically? Reever: Yup. Bak: WHY?! Reever, thinking: (he took the bait) Bak: As the chief officer that's very inappropriate for him!! Reever: Why would he? Oh, that's because he likes you.

Bak: Huh?! Come again?! Reever: He likes you but since the man flirts like a child, he bullies you. Johnny, to a coworker in the back: Oh so he had a plan for it. Idk if that will work...

Bak: W-WHAT YOU- You're saying K-Kom-Komui- No. This is another prank!! I don't believe you Reever!!

Reever: don't take my word for it. Let's hear it from his sister. Caption reads: paid actress, Lenalee Lenalee, reading from a card: Hi Chief Bak, my brother sure talks a lot about you!

Lenalee, still reading: He really admires you and keep saying nice things behind your back, plus he calls you on the phone all the time! Reever, whispering: Read this too. Lenalee: Oh. And he looks at your butt sometimes... Bak: K-Komui...

Reever, handing a dollar to Lenalee, which she awkwardly accepts: See? You wouldn't doubt Lenalee now, would you? Johnny: There's no way he's not seeing this...

The captions over Bak reads: Busy reconsidering life + hives Johnny: He didn't see SHIT.

Johnny: Commander, I think you just broke him for now. Reever: For fuck's sake... He's not getting the expected snap so far...

Reever: You're surprised? Bak: YEAH I AM. Reever: I thought a genius like you...

Bak: ........................ Reever, thinking: Now he either snaps or he's dying...

Bak: B-BUT OF COURSE! Komui's INTO ME! I mean I'm a genius and I look great!

Bak: ALL THIS TIME! He's been mean because he liked me ! Because I'm super cute! That- I- I need to-

Bak: I'm off talking to Komui! THIS CONVERSATION WAS CONFIDENTIAL. Reever: Sure Chief. Now go.

Reever, drinking another can: God I hope it works... All according to plans for now. Johnny: Plans? For now?

[strawberry-cowmilk]

top 10 saddest quotes in obey me

a/n: I'm suffering from having 0 idea of what to write next and my previous shitpost like this did surprisingly well, so here we are. (I actually posted this before but it didn't show up on tags??) Again, this post is all jokes. I'm sorry if I accidentally offend anybody.

no image belongs to me, I just filtered and cropped the screenshots from the game.

content warnings: shitpost! everything is all jokes, mild strong language

-----

10

This is a harsh reality many Mammons live in: zero money. You know why? Because they often get hung up upside down, so the cash falls out of their pockets. The Mammons hate it very much, and it's scary for them, but this one is showing his deep fear to the Leviathan to show he really has no money. The fact that the Levi looks like he doesn't believe the other male is truly devastating to look at.

.

9

What we see here, dear people, is a wild Beelzebub who stole a Leviathan's food, and proudly quotes the Joey guy from Friends while doing so. While it is not uncommon for such orange-haired males to steal food, it is sad when it happens to a Levi. Think about it, where do we go to get food when it's all finished? Exactly, the supermarket, which is outside. And what do Leviathans hate? The outside. This poor Levi now has to go outside for food.

.

8

Mammon has returned, this time not sharing his own hardships, but making life hard for another species: Satans. Many people don't know this, but recent studies have shown there are two kinds of Satan, gold and silver. Silver Satans are more emotional than the gold ones, so calling one cheap is very painful for them, dangerous too. Why? All Satans express emotions by throwing destructive tantrums. By the way, our research team couldn't determine what the Simeon is thinking. Hypothesis says he's thinking about an Mc's glutes.

.

7

Speaking of glutes, look at this heartbroken Asmodeus. It's in his name, ASSmodeus. Clearly, this kind of male loves ass as much as he loves the mirror section at IKEA and fake plants bugs won't sit on combined. This Asmo had spotted some potential mate with, in his words, 'a pretty nice derriere.' Imagine the pain he felt when the mate, potentially a Mc dressed as a succubus at a Halloween party, vanished from sight. Scientists were brought to tears by this image. So sad.

.

6

Many of us can relate to this poor Belphegor. It's a sad reality we live in: waking up everyday from precious sleep to go to work, school, or to see your laundry you forgot to fold. As we know, Belphegors enjoy sleep, and are able to sleep in any situation. That is how much they love visiting dreamland. Our team of researchers believe this is due to the fact that Belphegors dream about auditioning for the position of the lead singer of Evanescence, and getting said part. This is their dream they get to live in. Imagine waking up. Ouch.

.

5

Oh my, what a rare sighting! Wild Raphaels don't appear often in front of people. But, think about the reason we found a Raphael. He said it himself, he is missing. The poor thing. Imagine how much he misses his mom. The fact he used the word 'still' indicates he's been lost for a good while. Poor Raphael, we all hope he finds his mom soon.

.

4

When you first look at this, you might think there isn't much sadness to it. But what if I told you our research team found out what the context behind this image is? You see, the Lucifer is talking to an Mc. Said Mc just woke up from a dream and they're still half-sleeping. Sadly the dream was way better than their reality: the Lucifer actually unbuttoned the highest button of his shirt in it. This Mc wishes it was also the case in their reality. One of our researchers quit because this was way too emotional.

.

3

Now, on with the real tear-jerkers. First, I have to point out how sweet it is of the Asmo to try to cheer the Levi up. But, we've all been in this position the Leviathan is in right now. And we sure know how painful it is to relive those memories. Nobody wants to remember the terrible things they did as a young child at 3AM while trying to sleep after all. Just look at this Levi's body language, he's completely shut himself off from the world. I actually cried.

.

2

Oh the pain. The pure emotion packed into this phrase, the hint of sorrow behind his eyes, the blush, indicating the Satan was crying. That's too much, man. Good thing the nearest Mc came running to give this Satan a hug. We have to admit, our team wasn't able to find the context to this image. However, the most popular theory states that the Satan was trying to catch a cat, but it ran away and told him a yo mama joke.

.

1

I needed a moment before even looking at this. Poor Diavolo, getting absolutely clapped in Mario Kart. Everyone hates losing in that game, but it's worse for Diavolos. Mcs rank them not by attractiveness or anything, no, but by skill in Mario Kart. That means this Diavolo's love life got ruined, by his own friend. If that isn't sad, I don't know what is.

[gracy-simsie]

Tagging game

I was tagged by @queenofvraquin ♥ Thank you !

Why did you choose your URL?

Well, my name is Grace and I wanted something similar to my name, so here you go! But I've felt like changing it back to one of my old names from my old blogs!

How long have you been on Tumblr?

Poe I've had this blog since 2021, but... I've been on here for a while, I looked it up and it since 2013! I was so smoll when I started here, I was a little shocked when I found out haha. My previous names were @ambrosiay @lagraziasims @lagraziana maybe someone knows me when I went by those blogs haha! The reason I changed blogs was mostly due to me being sad a lot of the blogs I followed were inactive (because I was gone for a year for example), so started fresh and new felt like the right thing to do! No worries, I am not gonna change anymore :P.

Do you have a queue tag?

No, I do queue my posts, but no tag for it ;).

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I don't remember so well - cuz wel 2013 haha - I believe it was because I used to post ingame pictures on the sims 3 website and then somebody on there said something about a simblr and tada I found my place!

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Because Ruby is my currrent obsession ♥

Why did you choose your header?

"

What's your post with the most notes?

I really didn't know so I used an online counter >.<! It was a post I made about looking for story telling simblrs, and ofcourse people love to find new stories and share their own!

How many mutuals do you have?

I am ... I am really not sure, so I counted them 63! :)

How many followers do you have?

268! Thank you for being interested in my stories and gameplay guys! ♥

Have you ever made a shitpost?

Oh Yes, when I see something I posted a long time ago, I am like fhghjjgfgh did I really think it was good? But well, on the positive side I like to keep those shit posts, because they remind me I grew a lot! Also nostalgic !!

How often do you use tumblr every day?

A lot haha, I have it on my phone. I use it more than my instagram or any other social media, because they just don't interest me as much :P.

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

You won't believe this, but no. When I was younger I ignored hate anons, because I thought why would I take the time to answer some petty ask when I could interact about nicer and more important things ;). TBH I don't know if it's because I notice different things now I am older, but I do like that people stand behind certain opinions or facts as of late. It is really interesting to read and I feel like I learn more, you know? I am not gonna interfere with it myself though, I am not certain I would be able to fully explain things in English. Sometimes I just need my passionate and harsh dutch words and phrase haha!

How do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?

I see it more as a nudge than as a real obligations. It's still your own blog and I think people should post what they feel like. But I do confess I always read them, because most of the time those are very interesting real cultural, political etc. topics.

Do you like tag games?

Yes I do!

Do you like ask memes?

Haha, yes. As I said in other posts I like to talk. I have no filter in the amount I comment to people. I hope you are all okay with that, because that's not gonna change anytime soon! ;)

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I need a picture of a meme I saw rolling on my dash as of late...

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No! I need to actually get to know someone before I can crush on someone! But I do sometimes crush on some of their sims for example @buglaur Theo , @gothoffspring Jet & @simgerale Sheridan 🥺🥺

I tag @simgerale , @buglaur, @alicesimblr & @gerbitfizz ! No worries of you don't want to or have already done it !

[thetomorrowshow]

Mutually Beneficial Ch. xxvii

First  -  Previous  -  Next  -  Chapter list

Recommended listening: The Crane Wives - Metaphor

Tw: Remus, brief body horror, brief mention of gore, talk of death, this is a long one frens

-

Patton had walked down that unending hall for what felt like years before a window appeared in the wall to his right. Cautiously, he peered in. No curtains or blinds hid an unlit kitchen from his view. The window was unlatched, he realized with surprise, as he pulled it open. It was set in the wall over a counter, so Patton squeezed through as quietly as possible. He almost knocked over a cup sitting out, but caught it at the last possible second.

Patton slowly crept through to the kitchen doorway. One look back at the ajar kitchen window showed a starry night sky. No turning back, he supposed.

It's just like that Hobbit computer game! Patton told himself as he crouched behind a couch, on his way to the staircase. The only light in the room came from a TV with the volume on low, illuminating the area with an eerie, flickering glow. It was playing a documentary Thomas had seen as a teenager, called Goriest Accidental Deaths in History. Patton shuddered to remember it. He'd spent weeks comforting light and dark Sides alike after Thomas had watched that.

The stairs were dark, so dark Patton almost fell back down them. But a yellow glow seeping out from under one of the doors in the hallway above gave him just enough light to walk. He needed to push through, hurry, check every door that didn't look like Deceit was inside. He halted at the door, though. Patton was, unfortunately, too curious for his own good. Dreading what he might find, he pushed the door open.

Virgil.

Or, at least, something that looked like Virgil. The thing's mouth was hanging open, and what appeared to be yellow snakes lazily dove in and out of it. The Virgil-puppet lay on the floor, totally limp, eyes scrunched closed.

Patton turned away as bile rose in his throat. Was this the Virgil that had been responding to Thomas's calls? They'd thought it was just Deceit shape-shifting, but if he had this puppet—then Patton looked back, realization striking him.

Patton knew this room. The shards of glass on the floor. The cold concrete. The dingy bed pushed into the corner. The chest protruding out from under it.

The chest.

Patton carefully stepped over the Virgil-puppet and crouched down over the chest. It was small—small enough for him to carry, but he'd certainly have to hold both arms around it—and three chains wrapped around it, each one glowing a light gold, same as the snakes. Patton almost couldn't restrain himself from reaching out and touching one, but he pulled his hand away and shook his sleeves over his fingers before encircling his arms around the chest.

He pulled it out and up. Patton was surprised to find it weighed exactly as he imagined. Not too heavy, but not exactly light, either. It fit awkwardly in his arms, clunky and catching on his sleeves. He stumbled a bit with the weight, narrowly avoiding tripping over the Virgil-puppet, the snakes criss-crossing over his chest undisturbed.

Patton did his best to step quietly down the hall and stairs. Crawling behind the couch was harder than it had been without the chest, and before he could stop, his sleeve pulled up and a chain grazed his skin.

-

Dark. Dark that bled into every crevice, revoking all notion of anything that had once existed. Dark that pressed on eyes, made one believe that the light would never be restored.

Then, words. Shining in the darkness. Still dark, just . . . different.

They all hate you.

-

“Hey, Patton,” a voice said, and a living room faded into view. Patton blinked. A tear slipped from the corner of his eye. At some point, he'd ended up flat on his back, the chest beside him. Dread filled his very being as he registered the face peering over the back of the couch.

Remus.

“Hrngh,” Patton managed, scooting away. The movement brought fuzzy blackness to the edge of his vision, and he paused. Remus flipped over the back of the couch and offered a hand.

“Come sit down! Don't worry—Dee made me promise to not kidnap you.”

Patton glanced around at those words, making sure Deceit was nowhere to be seen. He ignored Remus's hand—the same hand that had covered his mouth not long ago—and picked up the chest instead, extra careful to avoid the chains. He begrudgingly followed Remus around the couch, eyes scanning for any escape opportunity.

Patton flinched away from the TV as a particularly blood-curdling scream came from it. He had to remind himself that it was okay, the lady didn't really need help, she was just an actor. Remus chuckled, and with a wave of his hand, the television snapped off, leaving the room in almost total darkness. Another wave of his hand, and a lamp clicked on.

“Don't want any distractions, do we?”

Patton shook his head quickly, then sat in an ominously stained armchair, as far from Remus as possible. Remus seemed to debate as to where to sit, before settling onto the torn cushions of the couch across from Patton.

The two sat in an uncomfortable silence for far too many awkward moments. Beads of sweat formed on Patton's temples as Remus stared, not at Patton himself, but at the chest clutched in his arms. Remus's mouth moved soundlessly as his eyes roved over the chains. Patton noticed a hallowed look come over Remus's face, aging him greatly. The purple around his eyes seemed to darken—but perhaps it was just a trick of the low light.

“What can you tell me about the King?”

Patton blinked. That had come out of nowhere. “The—the King?” he asked haltingly. “Like the King of England? King George the III, or Henry the VIII?”

Remus's head tilted, an—annoyed?—glint in his eyes. “Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived,” he said in a sing-song voice. The voice dropped. “Exactly what I'm talking about. When Roman and I divorced, beheaded, and survived, someone had to have divorced, beheaded, and died.”

“Oh, Tiv,” Patton nodded. He felt his cheeks grow hot with Remus's patronizing tones. “We never called him the King. Just Tiv.”

Remus waved a hand impatiently. “I don't care. How did he act—like, just before the split?”

Patton frowned. He understood wanting to know about one's past, but why now? He was busy—if his internal clock was any judge, it had taken him several days to find this place, and it would likely take just as long to get back. But he was scared of Remus. It seemed to be best to just go along with him for now.

“Just before the split?”

“Just before the split.”

“Umm. . . .” Patton wracked his brain. “Well, it was a long time ago. Thomas must've been eight or nine. And Tiv . . . he didn't really like me too much.” It hurt to admit that, but Remus wouldn't care. “Deceit knew him best, maybe you should ask him.”

Remus didn't move; his eyes bored into Patton. Patton knew he wasn't going to get out of it that easily, but it had been worth a try. He cleared his throat and continued.

“Back then, we didn't really go by our names. We didn't get names until Thomas was a teen, now that I think about it. So I was Al, Logan was Lo, Deceit was Dee, and Creativity was Tiv. I didn't—”

“What about Virgil?” Remus interrupted.

Patton tapped his chin thoughtfully, relaxing into the chair a bit. “We . . . we didn't know Virge at that time.”

“Oh.”

“Well, Tiv started avoiding us. He would tell me his stomach hurt, then stay in his room all day. The day before he split, I overheard him telling Lo that it felt like he was. . . .” Patton struggled to remember exactly what the Side had said. “Something about how he felt like he was fighting himself over everything. And not being sure which part of himself he wanted to win. He spent a lot of time in bed those last few days—I remember bringing soup to him. We didn't know what was wrong—a Side had never gotten sick before. Then, one night, two boys came down for dinner.”

“The first dressed in black, the second in white,” Remus whispered. “Twins that were one: divorced, beheaded, survived.” He smiled at the rhyme. “Born in death. Fitting, don't ya think? Blessing me, tainting Roman.”

“Well, if that's all—”

“Do you think it could happen again?”

Patton froze mid-rise. Why would it happen again? Tiv had split because he'd started to develop two differing minds, from what Patton could tell. Did Remus think he was going to split again? If so, why? Not for the first time, Patton wondered what was going on in Remus's head.

“I don't know,” he eventually answered, dubious. “I guess it's possible. Logan understands it better than me. You should ask him.”

“Maybe I will. . . .” Remus murmured. He was now slumped on the couch, dark regality crumpling and bunching up. He waved a dismissive hand, clearly far away.

Patton took the chance. He sped back to the kitchen and ignored the night sky, pushing the window open. As soon as it was ajar, the hallway reappeared. He clambered through. He had no intentions of seeking for the actual exit of the house—surely the kitchen window wasn't how Deceit came in—for fear of getting lost, or being discovered.

He tried to push the conversation out of his mind. It wasn't too hard—there was a distraction right under his nose. Literally.

Patton re-examined the chest. The chains twinkled innocently. What exactly had happened when he'd touched one?

Too curious for his own good, Patton shook back a sleeve and touched a chain.

-

Taglist (feel free to ask to be added/removed): @i-can-get-extra-with-my-ships @stop-it-anxiety @shitpost-sides @bl00scl00s @charakitcat @ainsleyf @sandersstuffsblog @ginnyfox617 @enragedbees @minty4green @eggy-boyo @escalatingtoofast @hayden-going-insane @piixelations @supersoftsupersleep @crowsmadreadful @hpdmmdundtl @imnotjustanxiety @thenewlarislynn @mooniecoockie @eden607 @sanderssidesweirdo @cali-the-dreamer @thedukeofdeodorant-main @hankaa-aaaa @atlasistryingherbest @arcticfrostdoesthings @awkward-and-artistic @wants-to-be-bad-but-is-soft