#oh-- although what reminded me just now was someone sending an ask to neil gaiman about how many drugs were behind mirrormask (haha!)

[blujayonthewing]

it's kinda weird being an artist who isn't very creative, because like-- I'm not, I don't just say that to fish for compliments or validation or whatever, my inability to have particularly interesting or novel thoughts or ideas or solutions to problems is a genuinely frustrating issue that I struggle with and that holds me back from things I want to be doing in my own creative pursuits

and because I'm an artist surrounded primarily by art and/or science minded people, I sometimes feel like I'm the least creative human being alive and get really bummed out about it-- but then I'll suddenly be reminded that there are people out there who will see something that's, like, the most basic one-step deviation from normal and go 'woooahhh how did they even THINK of this, they must have been on DRUGS' and realize that actually there are whole swathes of human beings in this world who have never had a single creative thought in their entire adult lives

[sheppardsmckay]

The Sun Will Shine Again

Warnings: Strong Violence, Torture, Mentions of Torture, Major Characters Death

Summary: Loki faces his biggest challenge yet as he is forced to decide between death and his brother in a story with two endings

Word Count: 9.4k+

A/N: This is my first posted fanfic so I’m pretty nervous. I started writing on this since I saw Infinity War (April 27) so this has been a definite work in progress but it is my baby. This is also a story with two endings, one good one not-so-much. Apologies for the length. Critiques are welcome.

….on his burning funeral ship while the Gods weep on the strand - The Death of Baldur,  Norse Mythology

And perhaps (because gods are not as others, and death is not always permanent for them) for a god’s eventual return. -  Neil Gaiman’s Norse Mythology

“If you were here, I might even hug you,” Thor said, tossing the mirror at his brother.

Loki snatched it out of the air with a smile. “I’m here.”

A look of surprise mingling with joy came over Thor’s face. He walked over to his brother and, for the first time in what seemed eons, he wrapped his arms around him.

Not to stop him from doing something wrong or to try and reason with his madness, but just to hold onto him. A hug among brothers born and fashioned from anger, pain, and revenge. They had suffered much, done much to each other, but there was still love there and a redemption to be found in it.

Loki hugged him back, which shocked Thor. It was even more a surprise when Loki buried his face in his older brother’s shoulder. They remained there for a time. Worlds upon worlds of sorrow and grief passed from one brother to the next before whispering away into the darkness.

Thor tightened his hold on his brother he believed twice lost. And it was then that the god promised to protect Loki and keep him safe. Even if, and most likely when, he made a mistake, Loki would not be cast out or abandoned again.

For deep down he knew all he wanted, all they both ever wanted, was to belong.

Thor pulled away, grasping his brother’s arms.

“You know,” Loki said, “for trying to sell you out in Sakaar—”

“Bygones, brother.” He patted his arm and released him. “All is forgiven. You saved our people.”

“Your people,” Loki was always quick to remind.

“Even though you were not born of Asgard, still you are Asgardian. And my brother.” He beamed.

Loki bowed his head in a nod, a smile crinkling his face. Thor patted his shoulder again before walking out of the room. The god of mischief stared at the mirror for a moment, his face caught in its reflection. He looked so much older, and yet better somehow. Not worn and scarred, but happy in a way...content. He bounced the disc in his hands a time or two and followed his brother.

He watched Thor walk through the crowd, bowing to him as he passed. A chair was presented to him, a poor throne, but it looked far more royal with his brother sitting in it. Thor was born to be king, they both were, but Loki knew he would never rule. There seemed, for the first time, no resentment of that fact. Maybe they weren’t just two sons of the crown set adrift, maybe they were something more. At the very least, Thor could be.

Loki walked up the stairs to stand beside him. He nearly cringed outwardly as he moved past the looming figure of the Hulk, but since he wasn't immediately thrown into the nearest floor, maybe they had resolved things? Or reached some sort of impasse for the Revengers sake?

Nevertheless, he didn’t look his way, keeping his eyes fixed upon his brother.

“So,” Heimdall spoke, standing on the opposite side of Loki, “king of Asgard.”

Thor turned in his seat. He smiled and waved at his people, before turning back to the darkness of space looming out the window.

“Where to?” Heimdall asked.

“I’m not sure,” Thor said. “Any suggestions?” he asked to either side of him, although he seemed to pause for a moment longer to look at Loki.

Loki looked back in surprise. Did he truly want his opinion? Did someone really care what he thought for once?

“Meek,” Thor asked of the tiny creature beneath Korg’s arm. “Where are you from?”

“Oh, Meek’s dead,” Korg replied, pointing at the thing.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, no I accidentally stomped on him on the bridge. I’ve just felt-felt so guilty I’ve been carrying him around all day.” As if in cue, the creature sprang back to life (or far more reasonably, just woke up) with a growl. “Oh, Meek you’re alive!” Korg exclaimed, “He’s alive guys! What was your question again, bro?”

Thor sighed. He looked back at the window. “Earth it is.”

Loki wondered how the mortals would react to his presence. Then again, they had all but ignored him the last time he was there. Thor looked out proudly at the darkness of space as if he could conquer it all to save his people. He truly was a far better kingly figure than Odin could ever be.

Loki was proud, not of himself or his deeds but of his brother. And, for the first time, he was only that. No envy blossomed in his chest, nor bitterness or anger swelled in his heart. Only pride and love remained in the once most hollow and empty parts of him.

Soon after, the people dispersed to different parts of the ship and Thor stood alone watching space. Loki stared at him for a moment before walking closer. He would face the abyss with him whatever devils it held and fight them together.

“I’m surprised you returned,” Thor said, without looking at him. “Thought you were staying on Sakaar and it was best we never speak again.”

“Yes, well, I’m not sure the Grandmaster would welcome me back after all.” He glanced at Thor, then back at the window. “Besides, I think I do want to have that talk you wanted. I’m curious what you had to say.”

Thor smiled at him for a moment. “I am sorry about all this.”

Loki furrowed his brow.

“I mean you wanted to be king but you’re not and now Asgard is gone...and who knows about Jotunheim.”

Asgard was gone. It was a terrible thought, one Loki never believed could happen. And yet it had, it had ended with fire and destruction. There was no whimpering when their world ended.

But their people still lived and that really was all that mattered.

“It’s alright.” Loki replied. “When I said, all those years ago, that I was looking forward to this moment, I wasn’t lying.”

“Even though you stopped it from happening with the Jotunheim assault?” Thor half-teased.

“I was envious. But I told you to never doubt my love. So I did what I did but it didn’t mean I didn’t want you to never rule. Just until you learned not to be an idiot.” He said making Thor chuckle. “Besides, I did offer you the throne. Not my fault you turned it down.”

“So that was you and not father?”

Loki shrugged.

Thor sighed. “I appreciate your words, brother. Thank you. I wish we weren’t always on opposite sides.”

“We aren’t now,” Loki enunciated each word.

“No we aren’t.” He grinned,  clasping his brother’s shoulder. “I am glad you’re here. Somehow, space doesn’t seem as lonely now.”

“No,” Loki said as Thor dropped his hand.

“Do you still wish for it?” Thor asked.

“What?”

“To be king.”

“I always wanted...to be your equal. I meant it. I never did want the throne, not truly. But I’m not sure being equals is possible. Seems like a waste of time to hope for it.” he glanced at his brother. “I’ve accepted that. If I could be your brother, though, and by your side, I’d be happy enough with that.”

Thor smiled once more. “Of course.” He bowed his head ever slightly. “I accept. Besides, you were always my equal, even though you never saw it.”

Loki pursed his lips, swallowing back the odd lump in his throat. He cleared it. “Do you think it’s a good idea to go back to Earth?”

“Of course,” Thor grinned. “Everybody loves me. I’m very popular.”

“Let me rephrase that. Do you think it’s a good idea to bring me back to Earth?”

Thor paused. “Probably not to be honest.”

Loki breathed a laugh as Thor smiled. Of course, Thor was right. He would never be wanted anywhere. Did he expect that to change? Was he even wanted here really? Or would his next mistake send him into the void again? Did Thor really want him there?

As if on cue from a stage, Thor grinned alleviating his every fear. “I wouldn’t worry, brother. I have a feeling that everything’s going to work out.”

Loki sighed. An air of contentment, as much as he could find at that moment, filled him, a quiet peace at long last.

Until the unthinkable happened.

A ship appeared out of nowhere, hovering in front of theirs. Loki recognized it, the familiarity of it plunging an ice-cold knife into his heart.

Thanos.

After all this time Thanos had found him. Fear locked chains around Loki’s body. His eyes filled with memories of his words and his warning.

Make you wish for something as sweet as pain. Loki took a step back. “We need to leave now. Right now!”

Thor turned to his brother, opening his mouth to ask what happened.

“Sir.” A soldier ran up to them.

“What?”

“Our ship. It’s being pulled in towards that one.” He pointed out the window towards Thanos’ ship.

“Then get the escape pods and tell everyone to evacuate!” Loki demanded.

“But there’s not enough for everyone!”

“So?”

“How many can fit?” Thor interjected.

The man blinked at Loki and the  incredulity of his words. “A little over half, sir.”

Without warning, the ship rocked with a blast.

“Then get the women and children on board first and then as many men as see fit to go.”

The man nodded, before rushing off.

Loki began to silently sneak away.

“Loki!” Thor called, pausing Loki in his steps.“Where are you going?”

“I can’t stay here,” He said simply.

“Why not?”

“It’s Thanos. That ship,” he pointed, “belongs to him.”

Recognition dawned on Thor’s face. “Why would he come here?”

Loki froze. The Tesseract. He had stolen it from the vaults before bringing Surtur back to life. He had it on him, hidden. Thanos must have sensed it, somehow, must have known….

But how could Loki tell Thor that? How could he betray him once more?

What if he left and hid the thing far from the Asgardians or Thor? He would be safe. He could save everyone. And yet the warnings still rang in his ears like so many hideous bells.

“He’s after me,” Loki decided to say, still being honest in his way. “He-he warned me.”

“Warned you? Warned you when?”

“He said he would find me and he has.” Loki turned to go. “No realm, no barren

moon, no crevice,” he whispered, the words spilling out of him like so many rivers.

Thor grabbed his arm. “Explain to me what this is. Now, brother.”

“When I fell from Asgard, I died,” Loki explained as quickly as he could. “Thanos brought me back.”

“So you were dead?” Sadness creased Thor’s face.

“Yes. And I didn’t want to come back. But Thanos thought me useful. So he forced me back, burdened me with knowledge and purpose and put the scepter in my hands. But all that knowledge,” Loki cringed under the weight of the memories. How he had once thought it glorious…. “It was hard to bear. It was like I was being remade, over and over until I could bear it.” his voice sounded shaky and tears clung traitorously to the corners of his eyes. “Do you know what that’s like? To be reborn?”

“Calm, Loki.” Thor grasped the side of his neck with his hands. “You are safe.”

“No.” He shook his head. “He said if I did not bring him the Tesseract, there was nowhere I could hide.” he was barely speaking now, his throat clogging with fear. “I am not safe. And neither is anyone else.”

Thor pointed at a man rushing by. “Send out a distress signal. Tell them we have families and few soldiers and that we need the nearest ship. Go!”

The man rushed back in the other direction.

Loki pulled out of Thor’s grasp. “I’m leaving.”

Sadness passed over Thor’s face. He nodded. “Very well.”

“What about you?”

“I’m staying to fight.”

“You-you can’t. You can’t fight! You’ll die!”

“Then I die with my people. I won’t leave them, Loki.”

“Thor….” he began to try to reason with him.

Thor smiled at Loki. “Farvell, brother. I wish you would stay but I don't blame you that you are leaving.”

“Brother, please—”

“It is better for you to leave than for me to see you dead. So go. I hope to see you again. If not here then in Valhalla.”

But only the brave went there. Had Thor called him brave? When he was running away? Who was his brother to forgive so much and remember so little? Thor smiled and walked away, leaving Loki alone once more.

He stood there, watching his brother. He wanted to help, but how could he? He was so afraid. So very afraid. Yet he had made Thor a promise and had said only moments ago that he would fight beside him.

“Are you coming?” Korg asked.

Loki glanced up at the pile of rocks, Meek still tucked under his arm. Loki paused. He needed to hide the Tesseract anyway.

So that’s your excuse.

A dull thud sounded ahead. The ship screeched and groaned. The front window crashed in and the Black Order stepped through the window, not so much human as something born of the inky abyss of space.

Loki froze, his feet on the steps of freedom, as he watched his brother attack. His people could not fight. He knew that. They weren’t soldiers. Hela had killed most of them. These people were just....people. Families, parents, husbands, wives. Children not of war but of peace.

Thor and what few fighters there actually was, with the aid of the Hulk,  attacked the Order. And the Order razed them down.

And then Thor, too, went down. Loki’s hand shot out as if he could reach him all this way.

“Are you coming?” someone shouted.

Loki’s foot stepped off the platform. He couldn’t leave, not now. Loki would stay true to his word. As he had sworn so would he keep. He moved back. “Go,” he whispered.

“What?”

“Go! Get out of here!” And with that Loki ran towards his brother.

Monsters surrounded him, things purely out of darkness. But he was a monster himself and knew how to handle them. With a wave of his hands, his daggers appeared and he cut down all that stood between him and his brother. He found him lying still on the ground.

“On your feet, brother,” he said, using all his strength to try to lift him.

“Loki?” Thor gasped for air, turning on his back. “This is Valhalla?”

“No. We can go there later.” He smiled, helping Thor to his feet.

“Thank you,” Thor said.

“Side by side?” Loki cocked his head, giving that smile born from a thousand emotions and few of them good.

Thor nodded. Together, they turned to the horde. And together they fought and yet still, as Loki knew would happen, they lost. But at least they were together, at least they were not alone as their people were hewn down, like so many trees, until only bodies of friends and foes lay at their feet. Until only the Order  and the two sons of Asgard remained.

Lightning crackled between Thor’s fingers. He hadn’t used his power yet, probably because he would tear the ship in half if he did, but most everyone was dead now. The ship rocked with another resounding boom.  Thor gripped his hands tight, power ready to be set loose upon whoever came near. Were the escape pods gone? Loki couldn't be sure. If not, they needed to hold the Order off as long as possible and if Thor used his power, would there even be enough of a ship to let the pods leave?

So, with great hesitation, Loki placed a hand on Thor’s arm. Thor looked at him, his eye full of light and rage. Loki shook his head and Thor seemed to understand him. The power died from his eye and fingers. And so Thor and Loki stood, ready to face death together.

Loki wasn’t surprised when he felt only great joy at the thought of dying and dying not alone, but the word “Wait!” was yelled out and all the fighting stopped. Multiple weapons were pointed at them.

Silence echoed through the ship. The ship drenched in darkness save for a few flickering lights shooting out embers of electricity, and fires kindling in small places, mixing smoke and death into a hideous perfume. The ship was as torn apart as the Asgardians were, and as broken as Loki felt. Somewhere below, Loki could feel more than hear the desperate plea for help, being repeated over and over, sent out to the dark of space where no one could hear their screams of desperation.

“Our crew is made of Asgardian families, we have very few soldiers here. This is not a war craft, repeat this is not….”

Loki stopped listening when a member of the Black Order grabbed Thor and threw him across the room. He collided head first into a wall. As Thor tried to get to his feet to fight back, they picked him up and threw him once more. Loki stepped towards him and the spears fenced around him. Thor lay in a crumpled heap near his feet, but too far away for him to help. He was powerless and he hated that.

Suppose I always break my promises, Loki thought.

“Hear me,” a man said behind him. “And rejoice. You have had the privilege of being saved by the great Titan. You may think this is suffering. No.” Loki heard groans of people he knew. Pleas for mercy which the Black Order did not fulfill. “It is salvation. Universal scales tipped forward balance because of your sacrifice.”

Sacrifice. All this sacrifice. Loki saw out of the corner of his eyes people he had known and grown up with, people he had loved but had not loved him. What sacrifice was this? What balance could be found in death?

And Loki realized then he wasn’t like he was when he came to Earth, willing to kill whatever to do what it took to rule. Whatever it took to be free from the grip of Thanos. No. This wasn’t balance or sacrifice, it was just death and blood, fire and rage. and Loki hated it as much as himself.

“Smile,” The man walked around him, grey and aged, not deeming to look Loki’s way as he passed him. He would regret that. “For even in death you have become children of Thanos.”

Loki clenched his jaw and looked ahead. He saw the figure of Thanos, silent as a stone angel from below, backlit against less than holy lights. He was just standing there, observing his people killing Loki’s.

Thanos turned towards him. Fear clung to Loki’s soul, grasping words not forgotten and pain not easily put away. Scars were not to be found on his skin, but inside...inside he was laced with them.

“I know what it’s like to lose,” Thanos boomed. “To feel so desperately that you’re right, yet to fail nonetheless.” He grasped Thor’s armour near his neck and, with a groan from his brother, lifted him, as he helplessly struggled closer to Loki.

So near now. So very near.

In the shadows, something large stirred.

“As lightning turns the legs to jelly,” Thanos went on,“I ask you, to what end? Dread it, run from it...destiny arrives all the same.” He set Thor on the ground and held him by his head now. “And now it’s here. Or should I say...I am.”

Thanos lifted his fist. On it, rested a golden gauntlet that resembled all too much the work of the Nidavellir Dwarves. And there was a stone on it...an Infinity Stone. More fear crippled Loki’s heart as the Power stone lit his face.

“You talk too much,” Thor groaned.

Loki looked at Thor, eyes pleading for silence as the gripped Thor’s head tighter.

“The Tesseract.” Thanos stared at Loki. “Or your brother’s head.”

Loki stared at Thor. He couldn’t give the stone to Thanos. More would die. Besides, Thor wouldn’t want him to sacrifice everything to save him. And yet he knew what keeping it meant. Could he watch his brother die? For Thanos did not toy with idle threats.

Was this worse than pain? Sweeter than the feeling of not breathing, not living?

“I assume you have a preference?” Thanos sneered.

“Oh, I do,” Loki said. And with hate in his heart at the very words he spoke, he held back all fear and pain as he said, “Kill away.”

Even Thanos was surprised at this. Thor’s eye flashed open in confusion before Thanos squeezed. As he squeezed, he pressed his gauntlet at his face. Loki remembered all too well that feeling, of a stone similar, the pain and agony of it. The horror. A scream echoed out of Thor resounding and piercing so many daggers in Loki’s heart. It truly would be better to die.

Loki froze his smile in place. He remembered when they were young, willing to fight monsters and opting instead to fight snakes created by their mother. And he looked at his brother. His kind brother who had done no wrong. Who had smiled in the face of pain and death. Who was so good unlike himself.

He remembered Thor grabbing hold of his scepter, trying to keep hold of him before he fell. Or pleading with him to come home.

And his smile started to fall.

He thought of when Thor said he thought the world of him or told him he loved him.

And his smile fell more.

You’re the god of mischief, Thor had told him the zapper barely affecting him, but you could be so much more.

We could be, he had seen in Thor’s eyes before he had left.

And his smile was nearly gone as Thor screamed even louder. If only Loki could take his eyes off him, look away from the agony, he might be able to survive. But he couldn’t stop staring. Tears replaced the fake joy in his eyes, fear loosening his armour he had built so well.

And as Loki remembered sitting by his brother’s side watching the sunset a thousand years ago and Thor opened his mouth to speak, Loki yelled, half-pleading, half-screaming “Alright, stop!”

He would have run to his brother if he could. Held onto him and not let go, but he didn’t. He just watched as Thanos loosened his grip and his brother stopped screaming.

And something grew closer in the shadows.

Loki closed his eyes, breathing deep, trying to contain his emotions. Thanos had seen his weakness and now Loki would have to do all he could to stop him from destroying it.

“We don’t have the Tesseract,” Thor gasped. “It was destroyed on Asgard.”

Loki looked at his brother, pain tearing his heart in two.

Oh, I’m sorry, he thought. I’ve betrayed us all.

He glanced up at Thanos. Exchanged glances with his brother and the Titan. Hoping, somehow, Thor would forgive him once more, he held his hand out. The Tesseract appeared in his fingers as if conjured from air.

Thanos smiled as Thor gasped.

“You really are the worst, brother,” Thor whispered, sending a far more fatal blow to his soul than death ever could.

Loki stepped forward, hand outstretched. He stared at Thor, still in Thanos’ grasp. There was so much he wanted to say, so many words, but he would keep them for later. Keep them when all was safe again, even if it was only in death. So, instead, he said, “I assure you, brother,” and with this his eyes met his, “the sun will shine on us again.” It was his promise, his oath and he would die for it now as he would die for him.

Thanos chuckled. “Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian.”

The shadow flashed green eyes at Loki. A slight smile curved Loki’s face.

“Well, for one thing,” he said with an almost sneer, some of his cockiness returning, not so much proud of his status, but glad that he was something else, something Thanos could not understand. “I’m not Asgardian. And for another…,” he remembered the words of that human so long ago who also grinned in the face of danger but was more than human alone. He smiled. “We have the Hulk.”

A roar sounded behind Thanos. As Thanos looked behind him at the looming threat, Loki jumped towards Thor. The Tesseract bounced out of his hands as he wrapped his arms around his brother, shielding his body from the pounding steps of the Hulk.

Loki glanced over his brother. Nothing permanent.

He held him against the storm of sounds. With his life, he would protect his family, protect all he had left. With his arms, he would never let his brother go.

Ending 1: No More Resurections

Loki held onto Thor, unwilling to let go. He felt deep inside, that this was the end. The end of everything. And as soon as he let go, that end would begin quickly, far too quickly.

Thor tried to pull away, struggling. But Loki held fast. Just stay down, he pleaded. Please don't. Not now. Not yet.

But he was Thor after all. If he didn’t fight, who was he? A coward like himself? Even if it was a lost cause, he would feel wrong if he didn’t try. So Loki loosened his grip. Thor looked at his brother for one moment before charging forward.

Loki watched helplessly as Thor lifted his sword and threw it at Thanos. It bounced off his armor and clanged to the ground. Still, Thor persisted, going in for a blow to the side. Thanos merely kicked him, sending Thor flying across the room. He landed on the ground with a yell.

Loki stood in the shadows as a member of the Order, the one who proudly spoke of sacrifice threw an armored prison of sorts at Thor. It locked around his body, holding him down.

On the ground, amidst several bodies, Heimdall called for the Allfathers. “Let the dark magic flow through me one last time.”

The Bifrost opened. The Hulk was lifted into it and blasted away, out of the ship and into space. Loki wished Heimdall had sent Thor away, but would he even survive it? He was weak now, it could kill him. Of course, him being here might also kill him. Unless….

“That was a mistake,” Thanos said, looming over the guardian of the Bifrost, before plunging a spear into him.

Loki gasped as Thor yelled. A god, so much power, destroyed so easily. So simply.

“You’re going to die for that,” Thor cried.

The order member waved his hand and a piece of steel wrapped around Thor’s mouth. “Shh,” he said, putting a finger on his lips. He picked up the Tesseract. “My humble personage,” he kneeled, “bows before your grandeur. No other being has ever had the might, nay, the nobility to wield not one but two infinity stones.”

Thanos picked up the Tesseract, holding it in his hands.

“The universe lies within your grasp.” As he said this, Thanos gripped the stone tight, breaking it to pieces. What a hideously beautiful thought of what to do to the mighty, empty, perfect universe. Thanos placed the stone in his glove and the world was filled with blue light before settling down.

All the while, Loki watched, looking at Thanos and Thor, trying to think of a way to get him out. To free him and let him live. He had half a kingdom to rule still. And then the word “half” stuck in his head, encircling all his thoughts. And he knew finally what needed to be done.

For Thanos was all about equality, only taking half of everything.

A terrible and dark idea bloomed inside Loki. No tricks this time, no mischief. He had one path before him now and he must take it. Some solutions are not simple and at least this one might save his brother.

For he had sworn an oath to fight beside his brother and to die beside him too. Besides, all this was his fault anyway and he had much to atone for.

Will I go to Valhalla?, he wondered, I must die courageously in battle and with my weapon .

And if he went to Hel, he knew plenty of people that wanted to hurt him; at least he wouldn't be bored there.

“There are two more stones on earth,” Thanos said. “Find them, my children, and bring them to me.”

“Father we will not fail you,” a woman said.

Finding all the courage, all the resolve and armour he had built over himself for centuries, Loki swallowed back the terror and found his Trickster self again.

He stepped from the shadows. “If I might interject. If you’re going to Earth,” he outstretched his arms and laughed. “You might want a guide.” He shrugged, moving forward, ignoring the members on either side of him. “I do have a bit of experience in that arena.”

“Well, if you consider failure experience,” Thanos replied.

“I consider experience, experience. “ Loki faced Thanos, no Hulk, no soldiers standing between him. If he could just trick him long enough.

“Hmph,” Thanos muttered.

Loki stepped forward. “Almighty, Thanos...I, Loki, Prince of Asgard.” He walked closer. And paused. Breathed a smile. “Odinson….” he thought of his father, of his last words, saying he loved him, loved his sons. And Loki loved him too, through it all, despite it all.

Loki looked at Thor. I’m sorry,  he wanted to say. Never doubt my love.  But these were things he could no longer say. He wondered if Thor could read them in his eyes. He hoped he heard the word “brother” when he claimed heritage to Odin. Loki hoped his brother knew all that hid behind his words.

Loki turned back to Thanos, tearing his eyes away from his brother, sure he had looked upon him for the last time. “The rightful king of Jotunheim. God of Mischief.” He produced a dagger at his side. “Do hereby pledge to you...my undying fidelity.” He bowed his head.

Did Thor know he spoke to him? How even in death in as many lives to come he was now and forever Thor’s? Did his brother understand this was not an act of betrayal but of love? He supposed he would never know, but he hoped.

Tears touched his eyes. He breathed, once, twice, fear lacing his bones and trying to stay his hand but he was Odin’s son and Thor’s brother and he had the courage to defeat his terror.

So he flung his hand out. His dagger came inches from Thano’s throat. But it was too late. He was frozen in place, blue light surrounding his arm. He knew somehow, of course, he did. This was a fool’s errand or perhaps just a sacrificial one.

Ahh, yes, sacrifice. Dying for someone else. So that’s what that word meant.

“Undying,” Thanos sneered.

Loki steeled himself, trying to show only rage and not fear. Only defiance and not pain.

Thanos grasped Loki’s hand, holding tight and squeezing. Pain coursed up his arm, forcing him to drop his knife, his sure ticket to the gates of Valhalla. His heart dropped. How would he enter now? Could he die bravely? This was no battle, but still, maybe he could.

“You should choose your words more carefully,” Thanos said, before wrapping his gauntleted hand around his throat.

Air few out of his lungs. He struggled for breath as Thanos lifted him in the air. Loki vainly tried to pull away, but he knew the power of Thanos.

This was his end. The end, finally. He wished it didn’t have it be this, but it was his fate after all. If only fame had let him and Thor be brothers for a moment more.

Loki choked and struggled, helplessly. The worst part was knowing Thor watched. Knowing that he’d regret his last words. They were true, but Thor would still hate himself for it. Thanos smiled.  

“You…” Loki forced out, determined to be resolute in his last, determined to leave this world better than when he came in. “will never be...a god.” His eyes were filling with tears now. His face felt thick and disconnected, his eyes strained.

Oh, my brother, forgive me. Farvell.

Thanos cocked his head. Squeezed tighter. Loki thought he heard a crack from somewhere far away. He was sinking now, sinking lower and lower into the dark. He thought he heard Thanos say, “No more resurrections.”

Well good. He hadn’t wanted the first one. He fell deeper and deeper until he found himself in that last memory from a thousand years ago.

Two brothers, as children, watching an Asgardian sunset.

Thor opened his mouth to speak. And this time, unlike before when he had been interrupted by Loki’s screams, he did speak. “I’m glad you’re with me, brother.”

“I’m glad too,” Loki remembered saying and said at the same time. “Where do I go now?” A new part of the memory was added, making a new part of the story. This was no longer a memory, more a dream now.

“To Valhalla, of course.” Thor beamed.

“But I lost my weapon. And I didn’t die in battle, or bravely.”

“You did. This was the greatest battle, the battle of saving yourself or someone else. The battle of sacrifice. And as for your weapon...you died for me, using my courage. I was your weapon, then and always. As I am your brother.”

Loki smiled as the dream faded. He closed his eyes and drifted away, never to feel pain nor fear, guilt nor sorrow ever again.

I will see you again, brother, he thought, when the sun shines once more.

Thor watched helplessly as his brother made that attempt. He watched as Thanos choked the life out of him. And he heard Loki’s last words.

“No!” Thor cried, his voice muffled by the metal on his mouth.

Not Loki. Not his brother. He was all he had left in the world, all he had to hold onto. And now he was….

Thanos looked at him. Carried his body over to him. And tossed him down on the ground inches away.

Loki was a prince, a god, a king, he did not deserve to be treated this way.

Anger mixed with rage kindling with grief to make a blazing fire in his soul. Oh, Thanos would pay for that as well. He would suffer surely.

“No resurrections this time,” Thanos swore.

Thor stared down at the lifeless body of his brother. They had just found each other again, made oaths once more, fought together. And Thor had said he was the worst. That was the last thing he had said.

What monster was he to put that on his brother?

Thanos and the others formed a loose circle. Thanos raised his hand in the air. A vibration hummed through the world and bright flames encircled them.

And they were gone.

The chains collapsed off of Thor. Before any of them were fully off, Thor was on the ground, aching towards Loki. He crawled to him, pain filling each movement. Not that anything as simple as pain mattered now.

He reached out and grabbed Loki’s body, clenching it tightly. “No...Loki,” he cried. His brother, his poor brother who deserved all the world, who deserved to be loved, but saw and felt none of it.

He just wanted to be brothers again, but Fate was so cruel. Did it want to destroy him? Well, it had. Something had beat him finally. Beat him so that he would never try to win again.

Thor knew Loki was not betraying him, he knew what Loki said and who he had pledged himself to. He saw the words in his green eyes that would never flash with anger or joy again. He hoped Loki knew he understood.

He buried his face in his brother’s chest and sobbed. He took his hand in his, his cold hand devoid of any warmth or life. He squeezed as tightly as he could as if by his doing so he could force life back into him, force only a little fire back into his veins once more.

All his pain and sorrow and grief, he let out into half-screams and choking sobs. Who did he have to hold it back for anymore?

The ship rumbled beneath him. He knew it would explode any moment. Let the dead be set to space; they could not burn, could not have a warrior’s burial and so neither would the Odinsons.

Thor would stay holding onto his brother until death took him too. He could meet him again in death. There would be no need for a resurrection if he was dead too.

The ship began to break. As it broke, Thor prayed to the Allfathers to send Loki to Valhalla.

Loki, I bid you to take your place in the halls of Valhalla

The crackling of fire sounded nearby.

Where thine enemies have been vanquished

Metal groaned and fell.

Where the brave shall live forever. Nor shall we mourn but rejoice for those that have died the glorious death.

The world around him broke apart. He clung tighter to his brother.

Lo, There do I see my Father, and  Lo, there do I see my Mother, and  Lo, There do I see my Brother.

This was the end. His end. The finality of everything, weighed little on him. And he was okay with it. For there was more that could be found in death now than could be sought after in life.

He calls me, he thought as something hit him. Darkness took over and still, he clung. The world turned dark and he fell deep.

Thor smiled. He would see his family again. See his brother once more.

So bring me to him.

Ending 2: Undying            

Loki held onto Thor, unwilling to let go. He felt deep inside, that this...was the end. The end of everything. And as soon as he let go, that end would begin quickly, far too quickly.

But...it couldn’t be. Loki had to be stronger than that. For Thor. For Asgard. For himself. He was a god after all.

Thor tried to pull away from Loki. Loki watched the Hulk attack Thanos and lose just as quickly. A moment more, he thought, keeping his grip on his brother, just a little longer. He needed as much time as he could get.

Thor looked at his brother for one moment as Loki released him. Quickly, Loki jumped into the shadows. He conjured a fake Tesseract, switching it with the real one, currently unnoticed. He only needed the power for a brief moment.

Closing his eyes, he breathed deep and slow. His eyes opened and the power of the Space stone surged through him. Enough power to protect himself from whatever Thanos did. He needed more than just his usual tricks. His last death was believable enough to Thor but he needed to fool Thanos this time.

He felt magic pour through him, pure and unequal to anything. Magic that he had not felt since he had been under Thanos’ rule. Loki’s eyes flashed open and he was sure the light of the stone flamed in them before resuming their green glow.

His skin had become that of the Jotunheim frost giants, blue and cold and dead, before morphing slowly back to the skin of his people.

The member of the Order who spoke of sacrifice stepped to the stone. In a flash, Loki switched them, too fast for even the strongest eyes to catch. The fake stone vanished in Loki’s hands.

He was interrupted by seeing the Bifrost opening and the Hulk blasted away into space. Loki looked over at Thor, locked in some sort of metal prison.

“That was a mistake,” Thanos said, looming over Heimdall, before plunging a spear through him.

Loki gasped as Thor yelled. A god, so much power, destroyed so easily. So simply.

“You’re going to die for that,” Thor cried.

The Order Member waved his hand and a piece of steel wrapped around his brother’s mouth. “Shh,” he said, putting a finger to his mouth.

Loki breathed deeply as the member picked up the stone and offered it to Thanos. Loki went back to concentrating. A plan had formed in his mind, a simple one, one Thanos would think foolish and ignorant.

“The universe lies within your grasp,” he heard before also hearing the Tesseract being crushed. What a hideously beautiful thought of what to do to the mighty, empty, perfect universe.

The world turned bright blue for a moment. Loki kneeled in the shadows, hoping his plan would direct attention off of Thor and free him. This plan must free him or what was the point? His brother still had half a kingdom to rule. Loki just hoped he’d be there to see it one day.

Besides, Thanos was all about equality and taking only half of things. So, if his plan worked, Thor would be safe.

“There are two more stones on Earth,” Thanos said. “Find them, my children, and bring them to me.”

Now was his time to work.

“Father, we will not fail you,” a woman said.

Finding all the courage, all the resolve and armour he had built for himself for centuries, Loki swallowed the terror and found his Trickster self again.

He stepped from the shadows. “If I might interject. If you’re going to Earth,” He stretched his arms and laughed. “You might want a guide.” He shrugged, moving forward. “I do have a bit of experience in that arenas.”

“Well if you consider failure experience,” Thanos replied.

“I consider experience.” Loki faced Thanos, no Hulk, no soldiers standing between him.

“Hmph,” Thanos muttered.

Loki stepped forward. “Almight Thanos….I, Loki, Prince of Asgard.” He walked closer. And paused. Breathed a smile. “Odinson.” He thought of his father, his last words saying he loved him, love his sons. And Loki loved him too, through it all, despite it all. He looked at his brother.

I’m sorry, he wanted to say, never doubt my love. None of this is real. Save only my pledge to you.

But these were things he could not say, not now at least. Maybe not forever. This deed would break Thor. Might be best to let him think him gone, instead of showing how he had betrayed him once more.

Yet, he hoped the word “brother”, when he claimed heritage to Odin, could be seen in those words.

Loki turned back to Thanos, tearing his eyes away from his brother, for perhaps the final time. “The rightful king of Jotunheim. God of Mischief.” He produced a dagger at his side. “Do hereby pledge to you...my undying fidelity.” He bowed his head.

Did Thor know he spoke to him? How, whether he lived or died, he was now and forever Thor’s? Did his brother understand this was not a betrayal but was an act of love? He supposed not, believed he’d never know that, but still, he dared to hope.

Tears touched his eyes. He steeled himself, fear lacing every nerve and nearly destroying his plan. But he must continue. He was a son of Odin, and a brother of Thor, and he had the courage to defeat his terror. He breathed, once, twice, before flinging his dagger out. It came inches from Thanos’ throat.

But it was too late. He was frozen into place, blue light surrounding his arm.

So far, so good.

 “Undying,” Thanos sneered. He grasped Loki’s arm, holding tight and squeezing. Pain coursed up his arm, forcing him to drop the knife. Why did he still feel pain? Doubt lingered in him. Had he done enough? Would he still be able to protect himself?

“You should choose your words more carefully,” Thanos said, before wrapping his gauntleted hand around his throat. Air flew out of his lungs, replaced just as quickly by more air.

It was almost torture, this back and forth, this pain and freedom, just like last time. He had felt death and life at the same time, but now it was amplified to a thousand degrees. Loki vainly tried to pull away, even though he knew that that wish being granted would ruin his plans.

Yet he trusted in the power and unchanging mind of Thanos. And Loki choked and struggled, knowing the worst part was that Thor watched. That he would regret perhaps his final words to him. He was right, but still, Thor would hate himself for it.

“You….” Loki forced out, “will never be...a god.” His eyes were filling with tears now. His face felt thick and disconnected, his eyes strained.

Oh, my brother, forgive me.

Thanos cocked his head. Squeezed tighter. Loki thought he heard a crack somewhere but perhaps it was just his armour.

He heard Thor’s yells and instantly wanted to assure him all was well. He felt himself being moved and wanted to jump down and free his brother. He felt himself tossed on the ground and wished to sit up with a smile. Loki heard Thanos say, “No more resurrections,” and wanted more than anything to jump up and say with a laugh, “Are you quite sure?”

But he could do none of that. He just had to lay there, unmoving, unseeing.

The world began to vibrate and pulse with life. Loki heard chains clank on the ground and then, a moment later, he felt Thor grab his chest.

“No...Loki,” he heard him cry.

Loki felt all the world pushed and prodded him forward to hold his brother and tell him all would be alright. But he couldn't. If Thanos found out, who was to say Thor would survive? Who was to say Thanos wouldn’t decide to punish Loki with life after his brother’s death? And who could be certain any of his people would last another encounter.

The ship rocked and he heard fire explode nearby.

Get out, Thor, go. Leave me while there’s still time.

But Thor didn’t hear nor would he listen if he did. Instead, Loki felt him bury his face in his chest and sob. This was not the first time Loki had heard his brother cry, but it was the worst by far. The last time he had at least fallen asleep before he could hear them. But now...now he was crying for the world, crying for the cruelty of fate and the hideous things that his smile could prevent no longer.

And then he felt Thor grip his hand, squeezing tight. He knew his body would feel cold, half because of his magic, half because of his true self, but this hurt more than anything ever could.

So this was what wishing for something as sweet as pain was like? Unable to move and comfort, while feeling unending agony like the dripping of venom course through him with each cry of his brother.

How he wished to be dead at this moment. It would be easier. Finally, he could stand it no longer, Loki doubled himself, an invisible self now and walked towards Thor.

The ship was breaking. Thor had to escape. Loki knelt beside him, his hand hovering over his head. Would Thor see his tricks and know? Best not to risk it, no matter how much he wanted to.

“Leave, brother,” he whispered. “Now is not the time to die.”

And then the ship exploded and Thor flew back, passing through Loki and into space.

His eyes, his real eyes, flashed open. Thor had been knocked unconscious and would not wake for a while. So Loki wrapped his arms around his brother and shielded him from the debris and fire and death flying around them.

He watched his people float in space, never to be given the burials they deserved. Thanos didn’t just kill, he destroyed and tore apart all that was sacred and good.  He watched Thanos’ ship vanish and all was silent in the abyss of space.

“You’re safe, brother,” Loki said. “You’re safe now.”

A ship appeared out of nowhere, old but in good condition. Had they responded to their distress signal? Loki was rather shocked that anyone had listened. Maybe there was some good left after all.

Loki grinned. “Get help.” And with that, he tossed his brother against the window of the ship. Thor landed against it, unmoving. The ship drew him in and Loki followed, morphing into an invisible form.

He watched strange-looking people lie him on a table. Loki wasn’t paying much attention to them, hearing only a few comments about how strong his arms were or that he was born from a pirate and an angel (they weren’t entirely wrong). Loki was focusing on Thor. He didn’t seem too injured, given the circumstances. Too weak to go through the Bifrost, although Loki still hoped Heimdall had sent him there anyway.

Loki rested a palm on his brother's head.

His hand shot back as a woman with antennae placed her hands on either side of Thor’s temples. “He is anxious,” she said softly. “Angry. He feels tremendous loss and guilt.”

A shot of pain echoed through his heart. No guilt compared to his own.  He could remedy all those feelings, but he couldn’t. He had to wait and protect his brother. Sometimes the hardest things were the better. Loki was starting to realize this now after so long.

“I am sorry, so very sorry,” he said, trying to hold in his emotions like so much broken glass.

The woman woke him up. He sprang up, flinging himself near a wall. Loki dashed to him. He saw the pain and memory filling Thor’s eye, sending more venom into Loki’s already broken heart. Thor turned around and met the odd group.

After a while, Thor, a blanket wrapped loosely around his shoulders, that Loki wanted to tighten, ate slowly, and barely. Loki sat beside him, listening to a woman talk about Thanos. When she revealed that she was the daughter of Thanos, shock creased Loki’s face. Then again, he knew little about Thanos himself save for his desires and power.

“Your father killed my brother.” Thor jumped up from the table. Loki sat there, unmoving. He knew this path of revenge Thor would surely take was his fault. If only he could just be king. But surrender was not in his nature as much as satisfaction was not in his own. And then Thor consoled the woman, saying family can be tough and explaining what happened with Hela.

How could his brother still be so kind after all that happened? He was too good for this tired, broken world and deserved far better.

Loki’s attention focused on the group when he heard Thor saying he needed to go to Knowhere to get the Reality stone from the Collector. Ahh, yes, he remembered doing that. It had seemed wise at the time, certainly, it seemed far wiser when he explained it to Tivan’s brother, the Grandmaster. Now, that Thanos had seemed to have figured out a way to find them, he couldn't be sure of the wisdom in the plan. Would the Grandmaster have hidden it well? He wouldn’t sell it, although it might have been better if he had.

“Only an idiot would give that man a stone,” someone said.

“Or a genius,” Thor defended Loki even after everything, even after knowing all he knew. Loki smiled for the first time in a long time.

Loki would sneak off the ship that went to Knowhere and find a ship of his own. Perfect timing, for Loki, was growing weary of staying in this invisible form, helpless and alone.

He watched Thor get on a ship with the tree and raccoon.

“Farewell, morons,” Thor smiled.

Loki smiled back, half-believing he was included him in that group. His smile fell as the ship pulled away. Loki stared into the eye of his brother, not sure if Fate would ever let them meet again.

Farvell, brother. I will see you again when the sun shines once more.

And so the God of Mischief hid in the shadows until the ship reached Knowhere and then found a small ship heading far away, with a crew small enough and bored enough to bribe. He wasn’t sure where he would go. Maybe Sakaar? If he would be accepted back. Maybe if the Grandmaster found out what happened to the Hulk and how his brother was in trouble.

A bit of forgotten pride swelled up inside Loki as he flew away from the world and all its troubles. It was soon, however, followed by a dagger of pain to his heart as he knew he flew from his people and his brother. He hated himself for it, but what could he do? He couldn’t be there, he couldn’t help. No one would want him around anyway. If he stayed out of the way or tried to enlist the help of the Grandmaster, maybe he would be doing something good.

He had Thor’s courage and he had to save him now, just not beside him.

Days passed, one fading into the next in the icy blackness of space. Nothing happened at all out here in the dark and the cold and Loki found his thoughts dwelling only on Thor and where he was and what had happened.

And then the crew turned to ash in front of him. And the ship began to fall into the dark.

Shock turned to determination. He had to do everything himself. It wasn’t hard to take back control of the ship; Loki realized he had paid too much for the incompetence he had found. As he floated in space, alone and confused, he wondered if this was Thanos’ doing. Had he found all the stones and accomplished his plan? And had half of all life been destroyed?

Were his people in that mix? Was Thor? Was Loki the only Asgardian left in all the world?

Loki knew he had to find out. No time to try to scheme or devise plans to enlist help. He needed to find Thor now and...then he could get help.

For he had to keep his pledge. He had given his life to Thor, given his heart and soul, and all of him undying as it was. He would need to hold fast to that oath now and defend it all costs. All the world might be gone, but not Loki and not his brother. He knew, deep inside somewhere, that Thor still lived and he would find him again, no matter how long it took.

The sun would shine again, and maybe it would shine sooner than Loki expected. For what could Thanos’ truly do if the sons of Odin fought together?